Thunder
Date: September 23, 1999
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 3,782
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

We’re coming off a very welcome week break from this show due to a hurricane last week. This past Monday’s show was more of the same from WCW as the company made sure the young and hard working guys were stuck on the other side of the show from the main event stars, who had to be there to draw the audience. Let’s get to it.

After the usual opening from the announcers, we look at Chavo putting Psychosis in a hair vs. mask match against Kidman on Monday.

Lodi vs. Kidman

After a hug with his brother/I don’t really want to know what else, Lodi fires off some knees into the ribs. A drop toehold puts Kidman down and Lodi gets in a quick spank for some alleged comedy. That earns Lodi a dropkick in the face and a clothesline to the floor, setting up a big dive onto both blonds. Lenny offers a distraction and Lodi takes over with a legdrop and a suplex for two. A bulldog gets the same after a failed Kidman comeback attempt and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Kidman is sent outside for a brawl with the champ. Lodi actually dives onto both of them to take over again (was he ever out of control? Well maybe back in the Flock days). Back in and Kidman hits his Bodog and does the usual to escape a powerbomb. Lodi is no Lenny it seems. Lenny offers yet another distraction to break up the Shooting Star, drawing out Eddie Guerrero to take care of him. This brings out Chavo to talk trash and then leave. Ok then. Lenny gets on the apron but Kidman whips Lodi into him, setting up the BK Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but that’s almost always the case with the Lodi matches. That being said, it’s very refreshing to actually get to the end of a match instead of just seeing Sid come down to do the same thing every single week and often times in the same show. Lenny is getting up a pretty big set of challengers to go after the belt and I’m getting into his title reign.

Harlem Heat is shown walking in the back but they turn a corner and brawling noises are heard. Sid and Steiner walk around the same corner from the other way.

We see Sid and Goldberg yelling at each other from Nitro.

Tenay (not Gene for some reason) calls out Harlem Heat but only gets Booker. Apparently Stevie is on his way to the hospital as Sid and Steiner gave Stevie a bump on the head. That’s quite the speedy ambulance. Anyway, Booker wants Sid tonight to prove that this winning streak is a fraud.

Brandi Alexander vs. Mona

A lot of posing delays the start of the match as Tenay tells us to go on the World Wide Web for more information on the WCW Mayhem video game. Mona gets taken down in a test of strenght about a minute after the bell. They roll into a quick pinfall reversal sequence until Mona gets caught in a wristlock.

A dropkick puts Brandi on the floor but she pulls the blonde outside for a clothesline. Back in and Brandi stomps away before posing some more. She gets two off a gutwrench suplex but Mona backflips into a headscissors followed by some forearms to the jaw. Not that it matters as Brandi counters a monkey flip and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin. Uh….upset?

Rating: C-. The match was acceptable but these stand alone matches can only get them so far. At the end of the day, what am I supposed to think of this match? Mona beat her two months ago and now Brandi evens things up. There’s no title to fight over and no one else for them to face, so there’s nothing here but a decent match and a pretty Mona. Did Mona ever even face Madusa?

The split second the pin goes down, they go to an ad for Hogan and Sting videos. That was one of the fastest cuts I’ve ever seen.

Mayhem ad.

We see Karagias pinning Blitzkrieg to earn his title shot tonight.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Saturn

Headlock from Saturn to start followed by a hammerlock as they hit the mat for a wrestling sequence. Back up and a big clothesline drops Guerrero and it’s off to an armbar. Chavo tries to get underneath Saturn, earning him a good stomping. Sometimes that’s all you need to do. Back up again and a German suplex sends Chavo flying and he rolls out to the floor for a breather. Chavo gets back in but quickly flips over to the apron. He can’t ram Saturn into the buckle though and gets suplexed from the apron back inside. Other than a few quickly broken holds, it’s all Saturn so far.

Chavo finally jumps over a charge in the corner and dropkicks the knee before a clothesline puts Saturn on the floor. A nice plancha gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock. Saturn doesn’t like to rest though and gets up for a big t-bone suplex, followed by a forearm and another suplex. He loads up a superplex (logical next step) but Eddie runs out to swing at him. Unfortunately he misses Saturn and knocks Chavo to the mat. Somehow the referee doesn’t see Eddie coming in and dropkicking Saturn, allowing Chavo to collapse head first onto Saturn’s crotch for the pin.

Rating: C. Can Saturn please get a big win, or even a win in general? This wasn’t much to see but Saturn’s suplexes looked good. They’re setting up something interesting with the Animals vs. the Revolution, even though they both should be moving up the ladder a bit. The same idea worked with the Nation vs. DX in 1998 and stealing an idea only a year old isn’t bad for WCW. Would Eddie and Benoit be HHH and Rock in that analogy?

Here are Sid, Steiner and Charles Robinson with something to say. Sid talks about a restraining order against Goldberg and the US Title match at Halloween Havoc is off if there’s contact. Booker and Goldberg are stupid for meeting kids and doing all that other hero stuff before saying tonight, it’s 100-0. Robinson even has the next sign ready. So Robinson is some freaky Ric Flair and Lodi crossbreed?

Coach Buzz Stern is going to bring Luther Biggs to Thunder. Just get it over with so this can mean nothing.

We recap Sting vs. Benoit and the fallout with Sting attacking Hogan’s knee later in the night. They’re really pushing that six man tag so points for trying to build to a big match.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Prince Iaukea vs. Van Hammer

You know, I was just starting to think this show wasn’t half bad. That’s what I get for even thinking for a second that this show isn’t a horrible abomination. I need to stay more vigilant. The Prince jumps him from behind and actually gets two off a rollup. Hammer slams him down but gets small packaged for another near fall, followed by a headbutt. At least Iaukea is being more aggressive. He’s still horrible to watch but he’s aggressive. Hammer tries an Irish whip but gets poked in the eye for his efforts.

Yet another rollup gets two as dear goodness there’s an actual story to this thing. Hammer gets tired of this match and kicks Prince in the face before hanging him in a Tree of Woe and choking him from the floor. When you’re ripping off Rick Steiner moves, it’s time to hang it up buddy. A few slams set up a few chinlocks on Iaukea but he finally fights up and kicks Hammer low. I know I said just make it legal already and it seems like they actually have. Prince hits a Samoan drop but walks into a spinebuster, setting up the cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D. Well it was a bit better than a squash but that doesn’t mean it’s an interesting or even good match. I did like the idea of Iaukea just going for fast wins because he can’t go toe to toe with someone Hammer’s size, but at the end of the day it’s still Hammer and Iaukea getting five minutes on live television. There’s no way this can be considered a good thing.

Hammer says he wants a US Title shot on Nitro. I can’t decide if Sid vs. Hammer on live TV is worse than Hammer vs. Prince on live TV and for some reason I’m going to get to find out. I hate my life.

Revolution video.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rick Steiner

Rick runs his mouth about Booker to start and still wants people to bite him. Eddie can’t take Steiner down either from behind or by the leg and I have a bad feeling about where this is going. He gets behind Steiner again but this time Rick switches over and throws Eddie down with a German suplex.

Steiner hammers away in the corner and starts ripping at Eddie’s face. A chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie is dumped to the floor. He manages to reverse a whip for the closest thing to offense he’s had so far. Naturally that’s all Rick is going to give him and it’s time for choking with a cord. Back in and Steiner slaps him before shrugging off right hands to the face. A spinebuster plants Eddie for two but he gets back up with a hurricanrana. Cue Sid to chokeslam Eddie off the top for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Is there an emergency button for Steiner to push when he’s actually having to sell? Have we ever even been given a reason why Sid and Steiner got together? Given that we’re still waiting on a reason for Nash to join up with Hogan and surrender the title when he had gotten away with everything (my goodness that sounds like forever ago), I wouldn’t hold my breath. This match showed that not even Eddie Guerrero can save Rick Steiner, which is all you need to know.

Kidman makes the save and gets powerbombed. If Lenny hadn’t done it recently, that would drive me a lot crazier.

CALL THE HOTLINE! SEE HOW ELSE WE’RE GOING TO SCREW THIS UP!

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagias vs. Lenny Lane

Karagias is challenging after beating Blitzkrieg on Nitro. Lodi’s sign: “Lenny is hard to beat.” Lenny takes Evan down to start and cranks on a hammerlock (popular move tonight) but has to run away from some right hands as we take a very early break. Back with the champ holding a chinlock until Evan fights up and gets sent to the apron. A springboard cross body gets two on the champ but he sends Evan into the buckle to put him down again. Lenny’s rather suggestive cover gets two before he drops Evan with a gorilla press.

That’s about it for the offense though as a double clothesline puts both guys down. Evan makes his comeback but gets caught up top. The champ’s superplex attempt is quickly countered with a sitout superbomb for no cover. That might be a good thing as it would make Evan look pretty lame to not be able to pin Lenny after a spot that big. He heads up top again but Lodi finally does something by tripping him to the mat to give Lenny a two count. Back up and Evan dropkicks the brothers together for two. Lodi gets back up so Lenny catapults Evan into him, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to retain.

Rating: C. You know, Lenny isn’t that bad in the ring. Yeah he’s a Chris Jericho look-a-like and has a gimmick that had to be toned WAY down, but his matches are far from horrible. The division is starting to round back into some form (albeit not quite its previous glory but that’s not fair to ask) and beating Lane might be a big deal when it happens.

We see Hammer’s challenge for the US Champion from earlier tonight.

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Booker T.

Booker is challenging but comes out alone while Sid has Steiner in his corner. Nick Patrick comes out and won’t let Charles Robinson referee the match. If Robinson is this corrupt, how does he still have a job? Granted I could say that about so many people in WCW that this really shouldn’t surprise me. Robinson stays at ringside as Booker hammers on Sid but charges into an elbow in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Booker kicks him into the crowd and is getting in more offense than anyone has on Sid in weeks. By that I mean a few shots of course because Sid is a STAR.

They fight into the crowd and it’s the walking around the arena style. Back to ringside with Sid in control and dropping Booker across the barricade. The fans chant for Goldberg but he’s too important to appear on this show. Steiner gets in some cheap shots but Booker comes back with some kicks to the champ. Sid of course no sells but is nice enough to stay down for two off a missile dropkick, only to have Steiner pull Patrick to the floor. Robinson comes in, along with Steiner, as Sid chokeslams Booker, setting up a double powerbomb to retain the title.

Rating: D. Grumble grumble, star power, grumble grumble, Sid and Steiner are old. This was actually a bit better than most Sid matches as Booker was able to carry things far better than most of his opponents. However, Booker was never a real threat and the three villains made sure of it. Sid popping up after the ax kick really doesn’t surprise me but it still gets annoying in a hurry.

Sid yells for Goldberg to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was a bit better than usual, but it’s still nothing I’d want to see. The stories have thankfully calmed down after all those months of horrid, but that still doesn’t help the mostly below average wrestling. We’re just waiting on the guys to start tearing the house down but there’s always something holding them back. Once they finally just start letting these stories go somewhere, WCW could potentially get hot again. That’s one of the things that makes their downfall so frustrating: there are ways around some of the problems (not all of them of course) but they just kept wasting the potential.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #203
Date: August 30, 2015
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 10,605
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re two weeks away from Fall Brawl and I don’t think we’ve had any matches announced yet. What we do have though is Sid Vicious as the focal point of the company and Sting, Hogan and Goldberg suddenly as best friends against the combination of Sid and Rick Steiner. I keep thinking this show can’t get worse but they keep surprising me. Let’s get to it.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Dave Taylor/Steven Regal

Yes we’re starting with a match and just bring in Sid already. Mike jumps Regal to start but gets taken down by a drop toehold. It’s off to Taylor vs. Tom with Dave hooking a butterfly suplex….and here he comes.

Four powerbombs to Mike and Tom later and Sid is still ranting about being the Millennium Man.

Lenny and Lodi aren’t allowed in the building until Lenny reminds security that he’s the Cruiserweight Champion. It’s not funny or interesting when you watch it either.

Recap of last week’s major events.

Nitro Girls.

Time for a Sid discussion as Tony compares his streak to Goldberg’s. Goldberg won the US Title in his 75^th match, even though Sid is now up in the 80s. Thankfully that means they won’t be stupid enough to have him beat Benoit for the title or anything like that……right?

The Demon will be here later.

Here’s Luger to say he doesn’t buy Hogan’s turn around. Tonight he’ll show irrefutable evidence that Hogan is lying.

Berlyn arrives with security and his version of Lana.

Video on KISS and the Demon.

Scotty Riggs vs. Lash LeRoux

Riggs takes him up to the ropes and smacks Lash in the face as the mind warped fans want Sid. Scotty nails that great dropkick but gets monkey flipped over for his efforts. A jawbreaker and running knee keep Lash in trouble as it’s clear to see why neither of these guys went anywhere. Lash gets two off a sunset flip but takes a pair of clotheslines. Cue Vampiro and the Clowns to watch as Lash gets two more off a northern lights suplex, only to eat a Fameasser for the pin.

Rating: D-. So they interrupt Regal and Taylor after about two minutes but this match gets twice that long? Neither of these guys give me any reason to keep watching, which is exactly why they’re on in the unopposed hour designed to make people stick around when Raw comes on. WCW really needed some major roster cuts around this time to get rid of a bunch of these guys.

Vampiro says Riggs owes him something.

Here’s the Revolution, now with their own shirts. After a lame attempt to get the crowd to care from Shane, Saturn issues a challenge for the TV Title at Fall Brawl and Benoit issues an open challenge for the same show. I really don’t see this ending well for either guy.

Nitro Girls.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Lodi

Lenny’s Cruiserweight Title now has a bow and tassels. He also seems to have a thing for Kaz, which Lodi is totally cool with. Lodi accidentally clotheslines Lenny to the floor, allowing Kaz to botch a headscissors. A slingshot DDT looks far better and gets two with Lenny putting the foot on the ropes. With the match starting to go well, we get a split screen countdown clock for the Mayhem video game, which comes out in October. This will stay up for about half the match.

That earns him a big dive from Hayashi but Lodi gets up and dives onto both of them. Could this be, dare I say, a sign of things to come for Lodi? Back in and Lodi powerslams him for two but Kaz escapes a German suplex and scores with a quick brainbuster. Kaz goes up but Lenny crotches him down, setting up a middle rope bulldog for two more. Lenny comes in…..and gets small packaged for the pin? Sure why not.

Rating: C. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight: they managed to job the Cruiserweight Champion in a match he wasn’t even in? Even WWE can’t pull off that kind of nonsense. The match was actually entertaining with Lodi more than keeping up with the high flier Hayashi. It would seem that Kaz is going to challenge for the title next. That’s fine based on his skills, but this is a pretty big downgrade from Kidman, Mysterio, Guerrera and Guerrero.

Lenny and Lodi lay Kaz out post match.

Here’s Hogan to a massive New York reaction. I’ll give the old WWF towns this: they’re the most loyal fans in the world. If you’re ever over there, you will be until the end of time. It was his son that made him believe in the power of Hulkamania again brother and he would NEVER stab Sting in the back. He can’t wait to see this proof from Luger, so he’ll be sitting in the back, eating fruit (his words) and waiting. Luger better not try to frame him either.

Hogan and Flair have new home videos. I only mention this because a piano starts playing, distracts them, and then stops abruptly.

La Parka/Blitzkrieg vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Eddie Guerrero

Eddie’s stoic look during Rey’s high energy entrance makes me chuckle. La Parka’s skeleton is red and he starts with Mysterio. First up though, it’s time to dance. Rey slaps La Parka in the face and sends him to the floor, bringing in Eddie to throw his partner to the floor for a tornado DDT. Blitzkrieg takes Eddie down and hits a rolling senton followed by a moonsault for two, only to walk into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the same. Back to Mysterio for a Lionsault on Blitzkrieg before he pulls La Parka down by the mask. A chop puts Rey down and a Hart Attack with Blitzkrieg kicking Rey instead of clotheslining him gets two.

Vampiro and the Clowns come out again as heel miscommunication allows the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg misses a handspring into a moonsault and gets caught on the top, allowing Eddie to launch Rey into another hurricanrana. Eddie tosses Rey over the top onto La Parka, setting up the Frog Splash to Blitzkrieg for the pin.

Rating: B. Really, really fun tag match here which somehow didn’t even make it four minutes. This continues the trend of letting talented high fliers get into the ring and jump around for a little while. That hurricanrana from Eddie was absolutely perfect and some of the high flying looked great. And somehow it’s all designed to get the Clowns over, because WCW.

Berlyn video, followed by Berlyn and his Lana (Uta Ludendorf), flanked by security. Through the interpreter, Berlyn brags about Germany being awesome and says his wrestling is art. Fan: “WE WANT ALEX WRIGHT!” It’s so loud that everyone in the ring looks over at him. A consortium of German businessmen have turned him into the perfect wrestler and his first victim is Buff Bagwell.

Buff represents everything bad about America and will be a good first victory. The interpreter acknowledges that Berlyn speaks English and has indeed been here before, but that language is beneath him. She forgets her line and says losing is…….it is not acceptable! She’s no Lana.

Fall Brawl video, featuring Savage, Nash, Hart and Steiner.

A banged up Luger comes out and says someone in red and yellow attacked him and went through his bags. No word on if the evidence was taken, or why Lex Luger is in a major storyline in 1999.

Tag Team Titles: Kendall Windham/Barry Windham vs. Prince Iaukea/Kenny Kaos

This would be the WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THEY THINKING AND WHERE IS THE REMOTE match of the week. Kendall takes Prince up to the ropes as Tony describes the champs as a new duo. That’s up there with Gorilla Monsoon calling Carlos Colon a youngster. Iaukea fires off a quick dropkick but eats a boot to the face. A jumping DDT knocks Prince silly and Kendall throws him outside. Back in and a knee drop retains the titles. No one ever made a tag.

Post match Barry says the champs have no competition, including Harlem Heat. This brings out Booker and Stevie for a lot of kicks, one leading to the referee counting a pin on Kendall. The Rednecks come out and beat down Harlem Heat, including hog tying Booker. The feud continues for some reason.

Here are Luger and Sting to present Lex’s evidence. The evidence is a picture of Hogan standing next to a white Hummer, proving that he was the one that tried to kill Nash. We’re still on that story??? Hogan comes out and says the obvious, that this doesn’t prove anything. Sting believes Luger and questions Hogan, but here’s DDP to nail Hogan before running off. Sting asks Hogan why he should believe him.

Nitro Girls.

Van Hammer vs. Buff Bagwell

The bell rings and that means it’s time to pose. Buff grabs an armdrag and we’ve got Germans. The distraction lets Hammer choke Bagwell (to be fair though, anything shiny, including Berlyn’s head, is going to distract him) but Buff scores with a hiptoss and clothesline. Buff goes up top and gets slammed down from the top by the neck. That’s quite the painful looking move. They head outside for a quick beating from Hammer before we hit the chinlock. Our hero hits Hammer low and gets two off a cross body, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. So let me make sure I have this straight: we’re supposed to care about a guy who used a Blockbuster to win a boxing match beating a guy who used to be a peace loving hippie to set up for his match against what might be a Neo Nazi and used to be a dancer. This is one of those stories that you don’t want to see, and then when you explain it, your head starts to hurt.

Clip of Nash being crushed by the Hummer, nearly three months ago.

Insane Clown Posse CD ad.

Mike Enos vs. Evan Karagias

For some reason Evan wears jeans to the ring and takes them off to wrestle. Evan scores with a pair of dropkicks to start and a third sends Enos to the floor where Karagias hits a fourth dropkick. His springboard dive is caught in midair though and Mike throws him over the shoulder to walk him up the steps and back into the ring. That kind of power display is always impressive. Granted it’s not as impressive as knowing how many seconds there are until Mayhem comes out.

The fans are begging Sid to come out and end this match. Well Enos was in the match when Hall jumped the railing to debut so why not have Sid do it here? Evan hammers away and gets countered into a big powerbomb followed by a powerslam. Mike picks him up off the cover though and hits a wicked piledriver. Good grief Vampiro and the Clowns are back. The Clowns distract the referee, allowing Vampiro to kick Mike in the head, giving Karagias the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t even that bad but my goodness I don’t want to see Vampiro and the Clowns any more. They’ve been out here three times now and we had to see them plug their CD. At the end of the day, they’re not wrestlers and they’re not driving the ratings through the roof, so why does WCW insist on driving them down our throats and give them all this TV time?

Vampiro gets in his face and says Evan owes him. Cue the Demon, who says this isn’t the time for Vampiro. Do they even know what this is supposed to mean?

Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

Because this feud needs to keep going. Knobbs calls the Revolution a bunch of crybabies and you know it’s time for a fight. The First Family takes over and give Douglas the Pit Stop. Morrus and Knobbs hit running splashes in the corner until Dean comes in, presumably out of boredom. Everything breaks down and Malenko puts Brian in the Cloverleaf, only to have to deal with Jimmy Hart. Morrus and Knobbs take Dean down on the floor but Hugh misses No Laughing Matter to Douglas. Shane even dives off the top to take out all the heels but it winds up being a double countout.

Rating: D. WHY IS THE REVOLUTION FEUDING WITH THE FIRST FREAKING FAMILY??? You have the Windhams as the Tag Team Champions (which is an even bigger headscratcher) talking about how they have no competition, but Malenko and Douglas, one of the only face teams on the roster not names Harlem Heat, is busy going to double countouts with Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus. We could also have Mysterio and Guerrero challenge for the titles, but they’re busy fighting a pair of non-wrestler Clowns. The more I step back and look at this company, the more my head throbs.

They keep fighting to the back and I hope this doesn’t go on to Fall Brawl.

Gene brings out Hogan to continue this thrilling story about him standing next to a car at some point in his life. He mentions his son (who should never be allowed near a car) and promises to deal with Luger next week. Instead, he wants to deal with DDP calling him out every week. He’s right you know. Starting with this show, Page has…..actually he didn’t call him out as much as hit him from behind. Hogan is a liar. Anyway, Goldberg is supposed to face Page tonight but Hogan wants to take his place in the match. Goldberg comes out and suggests a handicap match, which Page comes out to accept. Another bait and switch.

TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Rick Steiner

Before the match, Disco says he’s living la vida loca and is pretty fly for a white guy. Dang 1999 was a weird time. Rick comes out and decks Disco with a Steiner Line before ripping at his face. The German suplex sends Disco flying and the Steiner Bulldog ends this in a hurry.

Steiner puts on the armbar but Saturn runs out to superkick the champ to the floor.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Jerry Flynn

Jerry wants the champ to be checked for weapons but it’s a RUSE as he kicks Benoit in the head. Another kick is countered by the dragon screw leg whip because Benoit doesn’t put up with cheating. He drops Flynn over the top rope to send him outside, setting up a nice baseball slide. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction to keep earning his paycheck and Flynn kicks the champ’s knee to take over. He unleashes the kicks but Benoit avoids a big running boot in the corner and fires off chops. Benoit rolls some Germans but the First Family runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. So the Revolution vs. the First Family is more than just the tag feud? Great, the stupidity is spreading. Here’s the thing: you have three members of the First Family in action tonight and they all escape without getting pinned or submitting? Including to the United States Champion? How does this make me care about seeing them again? Am I supposed to care about Hugh Morrus, Brian Knobbs and Jerry Flynn? This company’s priorities are so screwed up.

The Revolution makes the save and Benoit challenges Sid for Fall Brawl. So much for the open challenge.

Goldberg/Hulk Hogan vs. Jersey Triad

Buffer does the intros and Kanyon does his usual schtick. Bigelow hammers Hogan down to start, like 1987 means nothing to him. Hulk comes back with right hands and the Triad is knocked to the floor. The fans want and get Goldberg, who gets to suplex Kanyon. A gorilla press into a World’s Strongest Slam crushes Kanyon again but a Bigelow distraction lets Page come in with a top rope clothesline.

Bigelow pounds away on his back as the Triad starts taking turns. Kanyon’s Russian legsweep into an elbow from Page is good for two, but Goldberg comes back with a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house as Tony acts like this has never been done before. Hogan boots and legdrops Bigelow for the pin as Page hits Goldberg with a chair and a Diamond Cutter. Goldberg pops up and Page is terrified.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with this match: did it ever feel like Hogan or Goldberg couldn’t beat these three on their own? This was just a workout for Goldberg and Hogan before they can get on to something more important. It really shows the gap between the levels of competition as the main event scene is miles ahead of even former World Champions like Page. This was a glorified squash with Goldberg being nice enough to sell for about a minute.

We jump to the back where Sting is asking security if Hogan is in his locker room. My goodness I know Sting is seen as stupid at times but this is ridiculous. Anyway he goes into Hogan’s locker room to find Randy Savage and Gorgeous George to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. More than any other episode, this show was incredibly frustrating and showed that WCW doesn’t care about going forward as much as it cares about keeping the old guys happy. There are so many talented people locked in feuds designed to either keep them busy so they can’t move up the card (Revolution) or so they can babysit niche celebrities who want to wrestle (Eddie and Rey).

On the other side of the card, there’s the story of who was driving the Hummer and is Hogan really evil. That actually isn’t the worst story in the world and I’m kind of interested in seeing where it goes. The problem I have with it is how Lex Luger is the only person showing the slightest bit of common sense or continuity. Hogan has screwed over every major name on the roster at some point (the Fingerpoke of Doom and beatdown of Goldberg was less than eight months ago) and no one but Luger is questioning Hogan whatsoever. That’s hard to accept, at least so quickly.

Overall, the company is running out of gas and is dying for some fresh blood at the top. However, they’re content with Hogan, Goldberg (who is fresh enough), Sting, Steiner and Sid as their top names while the rest of the roster is shackled to whatever stupid stories they can come up with. It’s very clear that Benoit is going to drop the US Title to Sid, because Benoit’s push was clearly just until WCW could find a way to get the title back into the main event talent’s hands so they could “draw” with it. You can see the future coming from here and it’s terrifying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Eddie Guerrero. If you honestly believe this show is about anyone but him, you’re completely wrong and missing the point. Tonight’s show is about milking as much as we possibly can out of Eddie’s dead body, because the entirety of the Smackdown main event scene until Wrestlemania (and even glimpses of it for years to come) would be about Rey Mysterio fighting for Eddie’s memory against people like Orton. I never have been comfortable with this but it is what it is. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. The Rumble and Edge vs. Cena gets a little time as well.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Kid Kash is champion coming in and this is Texas Tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Helms is from Raw but is here because it’s an open invitational. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone gangs up on Helms. I don’t know if there was a delay of some sort or just a really bad sign, but there are dozens if not hundreds of empty seats visible in the lower arena, most of them opposite the hard camera.

Helms gets beaten into the corner but Kash pulls some other people off for no apparent reason. Nunzio slams Kash onto the mat for one Noble gets two on Nunzio off a powerslam as London hits a dropsault for two on Noble and Nunzio. Wait apparently those red seats are stairs. Those are rather distracting and the seating structure is odd as there’s a group of about eight seats per row then another set of stairs as opposed to most arenas where there are about twice that many in a row. At least the place isn’t as empty as it seemed.

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Back in and London loads up a shooting star press onto Kash but Helms goes up top at the same time and hooks a swinging neckbreaker to bring London down for two. A brainbuster from Kash kills London again but two guys come in for the save. All six guys are back in the ring now and Kash gets two off a Backstabber on Nunzio. Funaki can’t hit a tornado DDT on Noble and gets caught in a gutbuster for trying. Noble gets sent to the floor by Helms and Gregory hits a Shining Wizard out of nowhere for the pin on Funaki and the title.

Rating: C+. What are you expecting to find here? It’s six guys in the ring all at once and going nuts on each other with spots. There isn’t supposed to be any sort of story or flow to it and there certainly wasn’t here. It was the right choice for an opener and the match worked well enough for its purpose. Fine but nothing memorable at all. Helms would hold the title for over a year.

Teddy gushes to Vince about how excited he is over the Rumble. Vince is happy because he has Torrie, Victoria and Candace Michelle doing the drawing. They were a heel Divas stable at the time which didn’t work at all. HHH and Orton come in to draw and only the latter seems pleased with his number. Amazingly enough, these guys got the EXACT SAME NUMBERS that Guerrero and Flair got when they came in to draw last year.

Trish is looking GREAT in a referee outfit when Mickie, currently the psycho lesbian, comes up and says she loves Trish. Ok then.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Trish is referee and I didn’t realize she was in some barely there shorts. I miss Mickie wearing those skirts that often flew up above her waist. The problem with Ashley was simple: she wasn’t that good. Mickie cranks on the arm but Ashley counters into a wristlock of her own. Massaro armdrags Mickie down and it’s clearly Mickie flipping while Ashley moves her arm.

James heads to the floor to get a breather but Ashley hits a clothesline off the apron to take her down. Back in and Mickie snaps, basically turning heel mid-match. Mickie hooks a standing half crab to fill in some time as it’s clear Ashley has nothing to do here. We head to the floor where Mickie rams Ashley’s ribs into the post. Back in and Mickie hooks a bow and arrow hold to work on the back even more.

Ashley catches an incoming kick from Mickie and starts her “offense” but can barely hook a crucifix. The only good thing about it was Mickie’s skirt flying up but the rollup only gets two. Massaro shoves Ashley into the corner and the fans are openly booing now. She’s just absolutely horrible and thankfully Mickie kind of powerbombs her out of the corner for the sloppy pin.

Rating: D. Again, anything with Trish looking that hot involved can’t be considered a failure whatsoever. She was likely there because it was clear that the match was going to be horrible and the fans had to have something to be distracted by. Thankfully Trish and Mickie would get to have their excellent Mania match instead of another Ashley mess. Terrible stuff but hot women in tiny outfits make up for it.

Big Show draws his number. Rey comes in to talk about Eddie a bit. Apparently Eddie is joking with Rey by giving him this number.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

This is part of an ongoing feud, which involved Boogeyman eating a growth off of Jillian Hall’s face. Do yourself a favor and don’t ask. Oh and I forgot to mention the set. It’s themed like a coliseum with guards opening up the doors for the wrestlers to come in. They did that at some of the old King of the Rings and I still like it.

John hides behind Jillian for a while and then bails to the floor, leaving the blonde chick to get stalked. Boogeyman puts worms in his mouth and spits them into Jillian’s mouth. Boogey gets sent to the floor and into the steps before JBL chokes away a bit more. The Clothesline misses and a pumphandle powerslam ends JBL in less than two minutes. I have no idea what the point of this was.

Mama Benjamin comes in and hits on Vince. Thankfully Shelton comes in to save Vince from a future paternity suit. Melina comes in to hit on Shelton but Mama takes him away quickly. Mama Benjamin was one of those ideas that didn’t make a ton of sense and didn’t accomplish anything but it certainly exists. MNM draws their numbers as well. Vince and hits girls sit on the couch to watch the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble, which says everyone thinks they’ll win. Vince is vindictive against Shawn around this time too. Apparently there will be some returns tonight as well.

Before the Rumble starts, the Spirit Squad comes out to give us a chant.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Rey takes HHH down and hits a Bronco Buster as Psychosis is #4. He immediately goes after Rey before kicking HHH down. Psychosis busts out a freaky move where he hooks a Rock Bottom grip on Rey but lifts him into the air and slams Rey face down. Rey gets put in a Razor’s Edge position but ranas Psychosis out for the elimination. Ric Flair is #5 and goes right for HHH. They slug it out with Flair taking over but ducking his head into the facebuster. Ric comes back with a crotch grab but HHH rakes the eyes and backdrops Flair out.

Big Show, who hates HHH at the moment, is #6. They were feuding at this time, I believe over HHH injuring Big Show’s hand with the hammer. Show chops him in the corner and HHH falls forward onto Show’s chest. A headbutt keeps Rey down and there’s a side slam to HHH. Like an idiot, Big Show picks up HHH and slams him to the mat instead of to the floor. Coach is #7 and makes it about thirty seconds before Show puts him out.

Show does that stupid slam thing to HHH AGAIN. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him or anything. The chokeslam takes HHH down again and here’s Lashley at #8. He and Show slug it out with Show getting backdropped to the mat. Kane, Big Show’s tag champion partner at this point, is #9. He and Lashley stare it down and Kane kicks Lashley’s head off.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Carlito is #11 and goes for Mysterio as is the theme tonight. There’s a Backstabber to put Rey down in the corner, where he’s been for a lot of the match tonight. Carlito punches HHH down and here’s Benoit at #12. Everyone gets a German and Carlito taps to a Crossface which means nothing here. HHH breaks it up for no apparent reason and whips Benoit hard into the corner.

The Game puts Benoit on the apron and they fight over a suplex with Benoit winding up on the top rope. Benoit headbutts HHH down and hits the Swan Dive before Booker T is #13. He’s US Champion here and in tights, which suggests an injury to me. Oh yeah he’s barely moving out there and just letting Benoit chop him. Benoit dumps him in about 20 seconds so yeah Booker must have been hurt.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Johnny Nitro is #16 to give us the Smackdown tag champions in the ring at the same time. HHH is upside down as Tatanka chops Nitro down. Nitro is John Morrison if you don’t remember him. Mysterio is finally back to his feet after being down for about half the time he’s been in the match. Trevor Murdoch is #17 and chops away on Tatanka as the match calms down again. Eugene is #18 and immediately Hulks Up, hooking an airplane spin on Murdoch. Mysterio hits a double bulldog to take both guys down to remind us that he’s still there.

Road Warrior Animal is #18 and immediately takes MNM’s heads off with a double clothesline. A powerslam puts Nitro down and we hit another http://www.healthcarewell.com/online-pharmacy/ lull. RVD is #20 and is back for the first time in nearly a year. Animal and Benoit have a staredown until Benoit gets kicked in the face. RVD kicks MNM down and backdrops Animal out to finally clear some room out in the ring.

Orlando Jordan is #21 and no one cares. Van Dam hits a kick to Carlito’s face off the top and Chavo Guerrero is #22. Nitro takes Three Amigos but Chavo goes up and is immediately knocked out by HHH. Matt Hardy is #23 and hits the Twist of Fate on Jordan. RVD and Rey combine to get HHH to the apron but they can’t get him out. MNM put out Tatanka and there are way too many people in this match with three letter initials. Super Crazy is #24 and literally flips to the ring.

At the moment we’ve got HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, RVD, Jordan, Hardy, Crazy and now Shawn Michaels at #25. Why are there THIRTEEN PEOPLE in the ring at once? Everyone swarms Shawn but he punches them all off until Murdoch gets in some shots on him in the corner. There goes Trevor and Carlito knocks Shawn to the apron but not out.

Chris Masters is #26 and Hardy sends HHH to the apron. Viscera is #27 in his World’s Largest Love Machine period. He sits on Matt and does his anal rape thing as Mercury saves himself from being eliminated. Matt gets some boots up in the corner but is thrown out pretty quickly thereafter. Shelton is #28 and Benoit eliminates Eugene. Goldust returns at #29 and chops a bunch of people to no reaction.

Orton is FINALLY #30, giving us a final group of HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Crazy, HBK, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE MATCH. To give you an idea of how lame the star power is other than like three people in this, the final five were Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Other than Randy that’s like a medium budget indy show, not the last five entrants to the Royal Rumble.

Randy almost immediately puts out Benoit. Seriously? You can’t put out Masters or Jordan? It just HAD TO BE Benoit??? An RKO takes down Viscera so Masters and Carlito can throw him out. Carlito immediately turns on his partner and dumps Masters. Goldie loads up Shattered Dreams on Carlito and gets in a good kick, only to be eliminated by RVD. Orton puts out Jordan and Shawn and HHH finally go at it. MNM double teams Shawn but gets eliminated for their efforts.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

We’re down to Carlito, Van Dam, HHH, Mysterio and Orton. Van Dam kicks Carlito out and we’re down to four. Van Dam kicks Orton in the head and teams up with Mysterio to beat on the Evolution guys. Rob goes up top but HHH crotches him and sends Rey into the corner to knock Van Dam out, getting us down to three. Evolution teams up on Rey but he knocks them both into the ropes for a double 619. Orton takes the seated senton but HHH clotheslines Rey down.

Orton powerslams HHH down but the RKO is countered into a spinebuster. HHH goes after Rey and gets flipped out to get us down to two. Cole’s voice is almost gone. HHH, ever the nice guy, pulls Rey to the floor and sends him into the steps. Mysterio is basically dead so Orton takes his sweet time. That’s his downfall though, as Rey counters the elimination attempt into a rana and sends Orton out for the win. Naturally he had to be #2 which the WWE considers less than #1 for absolutely no apparent reason, but that’s HHH for you.

Rating: C-. This isn’t a bad match, but man alive is it boring. There are three major problems in this match. First of all, there were WAY too many people in the ring at most given times. Like I said, once Orton got in there we had fifteen people in the ring at once. That’s double what the number should be around and it clutters things up way too much with that many people in there.

Second, as I touched on near the end, the talent pool was pretty shallow here. I mean, MNM aren’t bad but they don’t need to be in the final grouping of the Rumble. Guys like Masters and Carlito should have been eliminated earlier but just stuck in there. That gets old fast and it was begging for someone like Shawn to come in there and eliminate like five guys at once.

Finally, since there were so many people in there at once, it was hard to focus on any single story. You had stuff like HHH trying to go wire to wire but that got lost in the shuffle. Rey was on the mat for long stretches of time so he wasn’t really noticed either. Shawn’s issues with Vince only popped up for the elimination and were only touched on. When you can’t focus on one thing, you can’t focus on anything and that makes for a dull match. One good thing was that Rey wasn’t a guaranteed winner, so there was some drama. It’s not a bad Rumble but it was badly run.

Mickie comes in to hit on Trish as she does an interview on WWE.com.

Rey celebrates when Edge comes in and says don’t even think of challenging him at Mania.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB back at Mania and waited nine months before cashing in on Cena after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber. Tonight is the rematch three weeks later.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena walks across a catwalk that lowered from the ceiling and hops in over the top. You know, in case it’s wasn’t clear enough that Edge had no chance here. Cena clotheslines him down to start but has to chase Edge back inside, allowing the champion to send Cena into the buckle. We head to the floor again with Cena having to avoid Lita and getting sent into the steps as a result. A baseball slide sends Cena over the barricade and the match stops again.

Edge tries for a countout but Cena DIVES back in at nine. Back in and Cena pounds away but charges into a spinwheel kick for two from the Canadian. Edge punches Cena to the floor again but goes after him instead of going for the countout again. Cena gets sent into the steps and back inside a missile dropkick gets two for the champion. Edge loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to avoid a guillotine legdrop from Cena.

Cena grabs a quick FU attempt but Edge counters into a rollup for two. A big boot puts Cena down but he rolls through a top rope cross body for two. Edge tries a rear naked choke of all things which Cena eventually breaks up. The spear misses and there’s a DDT to put both guys down. It’s Cena up first to start his finishing sequence but Lita distracts the referee. Edge misses a charge and is sent into Lita, setting up Cena for the FU and STFU to get the title back.

Rating: D+. This was a world title match at the Royal Rumble? Why? Edge never felt like he had Cena in trouble and the match wasn’t anything that you would remember five minutes after it ended. Lita’s cleavage was awesome but when that’s the best thing about a match….well you shouldn’t be surprised because it often was in Edge’s matches, but still, pretty lame match here that made Edge look like a footnote. Obviously that would change, but not a good start for him here.

Edge freaks out on Todd Grisham in the back. Edge storms off and Lita panics a bit. We get a random Hacksaw Jim Duggan cameo (does anyone do those better?) to call her a HO!

We recap Angle vs. Henry. Batista had been scheduled to face henry but tore his triceps and had to vacate the title. Angle won the title in a battle royal and gets to defend here. The idea is that Henry is way too strong for Angle. Seriously, that’s the story. Why this main evented the show isn’t quite clear.

Angle is all I’M THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD and no one can beat me. He leaves but comes back to tell Mark Henry that he SUCKS. This version of Angle was AWESOME, as he would just go out there and go beast mode on everyone and make them look like fools trying to keep up with him. Also he was perfect for a quick title reign like this as no one would question him popping up out of nowhere and taking the title. Those kind of people are hard to find but Kurt was one of them.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Angle gets overpowered to start. That’s about all there is to say for the first two minutes or so, as Kurt keeps getting shoved around and then taken to the floor. Henry whips him into the steps and then stands on Angle’s chest back inside. We hit a bearhug for a bit until Angle hiptosses out of it. He tries a cross body like an imbecile but rolls out of the World’s Strongest Slam. The ankle lock and Angle Slam are no good so Henry clubs him down again.

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Rating: D. Seriously, why was this……

And a gong strikes. That’s why.

As for the match, it sucked pretty terribly. Why would we buy Henry as a potential champion here after him showing no proof of being at that level? The match wasn’t even ten minutes long, making it feel much more like a TV match than a PPV title match. I know they wanted to do the big ending with Taker, but there had to be a better way to do it.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Overall Rating: D. I watched this show over the course of two days, and honestly the only thing that came to my mind other than the last ten minutes of it was how Trish looked in that referee outfit. That’s how completely forgettable this show is. Nothing came out of this show as Cena was champion all over again, making the last three weeks feel like nothing. Nothing to see here and definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Original: C-

Redo: D

Boogeyman vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: F-

Redo: N/A

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Edge

Original: B

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

What was I on for that Edge vs. Cena match?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/25/royal-rumble-count-up-2006-eddie-guerrero-puts-on-a-mask-and-wins-the-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jonathan Coachman

This is the show where you can really see the next generation rising up. The main events other than the Rumble are Lesnar vs. Holly and HBK vs. HHH. Ok so maybe the next generation only comes up in the Rumble. Other than that we don’t have much going on here but this show is all about Benoit in the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Shawn vs. HHH because that’s what people are watching the ROYAL RUMBLE for right? The theme of the video is that things can change in the blink of an eye.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Flair and Batista are defending here and this is a tables match. Coach is ticked off at the Dudleys for putting him through a table six nights ago on Raw, because if there’s one man you need to give a reason to be a heel, it’s COACH. Batista makes fun of the Eagles because he hasn’t broken through to the other side of the glass ceiling yet. The fight starts in the aisle as you would expect. This is one table to a finish, meaning only one guy has to go through to end it.

Bubba slides in a table but shoves it hard enough that it slides across the ring and hits Batista in the ribs on the other side of the floor. Flair gets double teamed to start and caught in a powerslam by D-Von. There’s a table set up in the ring but Batista moves it before Flair gets suplexed through it. D-Von hits a Cactus Clothesline on Batista as Flair chops Bubba against a table in the corner.

Big Dave comes back in with some clotheslines to clean house but misses a charge into the post. The belly to back neckbreaker from the Dudleys puts him down and it’s Flair getting double teamed again. According to JR, the Dudleys are the only team to win the (non-vacant) world tag team titles at the Rumble. Coach heads to the ring to distract the Dudleys and prevent a 3D to Flair. Flair saves Coach and Batista hits a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table to retain.

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

There’s an empty seat for Mick Foley in the front row.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending. This is during the Nidia is Blind phase which didn’t do anything for anyone. They speed things WAY up to start with Jamie avoiding the 619 and launching Rey into the air to take over. The champ gets draped over the top rope for two and a hard kick to the back gets the same.

Jamie hooks a chinlock which shifts into a seated abdominal stretch. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and a springboard rana followed by the sitout bulldog for two. He springboards into a gutbuster from Noble for two though and momentum shifts again. Nidia accidentally grabs Noble’s foot, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop…..for the pin? Huh?

Rating: D+. This was fast paced while it lasted, but those three words are the key: while it lasted. This barely broke three minutes which simply isn’t enough for a PPV title match. Unless I was missing it there was no sign of an injury or anything like that, but the match ends that fast. I have no idea what they were going for here but it didn’t work in any way at all. That’s a shame too because they were going well while it lasted.

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

We recap the battle of the Guerreros. Eddie was clearly the bigger star which was fine while they were champions, but once they lost the belts to the Bashams, Chavo blamed Eddie and turned on his uncle for losing his title. The Guerreros almost made up but they lost the rematch, after which Chavo let Eddie get double teamed by the Bashams. This was actually a pretty solid story despite how basic it was. Sometimes less is more. Oh and Kurt Angle was playing peacemaker and Chavo Guerrero Senior is in his son’s corner.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo bails to the floor before the bell and the fans are totally behind Eddie here. They fight over a lockup to start with no one being able to get an advantage. Chavo slaps Eddie in the face and now we’re ready to go. We hit the mat for a bit before Eddie starts snapping off chops in the corner. Chavo shoulders him down and we have a standoff. They chop it out again and Eddie goes to the eye like a true Guerrero.

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Ad for Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses. That’s the most entertaining part of the show so far.

Benoit likes his odds even though he’s #1 in the Rumble. Evolution comes up and says Orton is going to win the Rumble. Flair says Benoit may be great, but this is about Evolution tonight.

We recap Hardcore Holly vs. Lesnar. Brock broke Holly’s neck (legit) and Holly gets a world title shot out of it a year later. This is the textbook definition of the Rumble title shot where no one buys the champion as being in any danger whatsoever.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly jumps Lesnar in the aisle and sends him into the post because he wants to break Lesnar’s neck. We get a bell and Holly misses an elbow off the top to give Brock control. They head to the floor where Holly’s back is rammed into the apron and Lesnar hooks a reverse body vice back inside. That goes nowhere so Brock hits a Shell Shock for two and it’s right back to the hold.

We shift to a bearhug and then one of the most wicked overhead belly to belly suplexes you’ll ever see. Off to a kind of rear naked choke by Lesnar to keep things dull. Holly makes his comeback with the dropkick and hits the Alabama Slam but goes for a full nelson and revenge instead of the title. Holly hooks the hold and goes to the floor with it but has to break the count. The F5 hits a few seconds later to complete the inevitable.

Rating: D. This was Brock Lesnar defending the world title against Hardcore Holly on pay per view. If you can’t figure out why this got the rating it got, I can’t help you.

We recap HHH vs. HBK which is allegedly seven years in the making. I’m guessing THIS is supposed to be the FINAL blowoff to their feud instead of the classic in 2002.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

HHH is defending and this is a last man standing match. They chop it out to start and punch each other in the corner a lot. Shawn tries a backslide before realizing that makes no sense here, so it’s back to the chops. Michaels gets caught in a facebuster as things slow down a bit. A HARD whip into the corner has Shawn’s back in trouble and a backbreaker makes it even worse.

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Back in and Shawn counters a Pedigree with a backdrop to the floor but he injures his back in the process. Shawn tries a springboard cross body to the floor but crashes through the table instead as only he can. Instead of letting the now busted open Shawn get counted out, HHH throws him back in for the count, which reaches seven. The champ pounds Shawn down a few times for a few counts, most of which don’t get that far.

A fast spinebuster (literally, as Shawn was flying at HHH and it almost looked like a belly to belly instead of a spinebuster) gets about six. That’s the problem with most last man standing matches: it’s a big move then standing around for the count. That makes it very hard to get any kind of flow going to the match. HHH cracks Shawn in the back with a chair but Shawn gets up again. A Pedigree onto the chair is countered into a slingshot into the post, busting HHH open as well.

Now Shawn cracks HHH in the head with a chair, allowing HHH to do his weird “my head hurts and I’m not sure where I am” face. There’s the forearm followed by the nipup from Shawn, followed by an atomic drop and the top rope elbow. That gets about seven so Shawn tunes up the band, only to walk into a low blow to put both guys down. Shawn hooks a sleeper which eventually gets an eight count before walking into a DDT to put both guys down.

That gets a double eight count before we head to the corner. HHH tries a belly to back superplex but Shawn counters into a cross body for another double eight count. The Pedigree hits but it’s only good for a nine. Shawn pops up out of nowhere with some more Sweet Chin Music, putting both guys down for ten which keeps the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. The problem here is exactly what I said earlier: this was a lot of lying around. The last seven minutes or so had about five moves combined, as most of the match was “move, lay down, move, lay down, move, lay down.” The idea is supposed to be a ton of drama, but that didn’t happen here. Shawn would turn into a jerk in the next few weeks and insert himself in the Mania main event because of this ending.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

The Fink is ready to start the Rumble but here’s Bischoff to run his mouth. He says that a Raw guy is going to win the Rumble because he’s respected as a GM. He runs down ECW, which brings out Heyman for a brawl. Cue Austin on his ATV to say that these two are both in violation of the law (he was called Sheriff Austin at this point) and wants to know who started it. Heyman and Bischoff: “HE DID!” Both guys get Stunners and the fans love it.

Goldberg, #30 in the Rumble, doesn’t get to talk because Lesnar comes in to interrupt him. Lesnar is called a coward, which will come into play later.

JR has to admit Foley is a coward because he isn’t here yet.

Royal Rumble

Benoit is #1 and the Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton is #2. Two minute intervals here again. They pound away on each other to start with Benoit taking him to the mat to stomp away. Mark Henry is #3 when he was a fat power guy with no direction at all. Allow me to be more specific: he’s still with Teddy Long. Benoit gets double teamed for awhile until Tajiri is #4. These intervals don’t seem to be two minutes or anywhere close to it.

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Rhyno is #6 as we’re flying through this so far. He goes after the two starters as Tajiri fires off kicks on Henry. Tajiri gets a half Tarantula on Henry but Henry gets Gored, knocking Tajiri out in the process. Benoit clotheslines Henry out and we’re down to three again. Matt Hardy is #7 and Benoit throws him to the apron almost immediately. In FAR less than two minutes, here’s Scott Steiner at #8. Oh dear it’s Scott Steiner at the Royal Rumble. This could be a disaster.

He starts firing off suplexes immediately but at least this time there are some t-bones to go with the belly to bellies. Benoit rolls some Germans on him as if to say THIS IS HOW YOU SUPLEX SOMEBODY. Things slow down a bit and here’s Matt Morgan at #9. He takes Benoit down with a Batista Bomb takes Benoit down and pounds away on Orton in the corner.

The Hurricane is #10 and comes in off the top with a cross body to Hardy. He goes after Morgan for no apparent reason and is thrown out in less than twenty seconds. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron again but can’t get him out. Booker T, complete with the stupid remix of his theme music with Booker singing, is #11. Booker immediately goes after Steiner in a revisiting of their WCW feud that no one was asking for.

Nothing of note happens until Kane is #12. This is after he buried Taker alive. For the first time. Steiner gets dumped by Booker during Kane’s entrance. Kane starts firing off chokeslams and other various power moves for which he is well known. The clock runs down at #13 and there go the lights. A gong goes off and Kane PANICS. Booker uses the distraction to dump Kane and here’s Spike Dudley at #13. He never makes it to the ring as Kane destroys him for setting off the gong.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

A-Train is #16 and goes right for Rikishi. Benoit avoids the yet to be named Carbon Footprint and dumps Morgan. I love that they’re keeping the ring from getting full. Orton dumps Rikishi and Booker as Shelton Benjamin is #17. Benoit dumps A-Train during his entrance and Orton dumps Shelton a few seconds later to get us back to two. Orton pounds on him a bit but they crack heads to put both guys down.

Lamont, the announcer for Ernest Miller (complete with the music that would go to Brodus Clay eight years later), runs out to introduce the Cat at #18. After some dancing (and singing by Tazz), Orton dumps him out. Miller would be released in like two weeks. Kurt Angle is #19 and he might be a bit harder to get out. He’s fighting for AMERICA here so the fans tell him he sucks.

Benoit and Angle destroy each other with chops and punches as only they can while Orton is content to chill in the corner. Rico, now in his Adrian Street phase, is #20. He fires off some kicks but lasts about as long as you would expect him to in a match with Orton, Angle and Benoit. The RKO takes care of Rico as Benoit rolls a ton of Germans on Angle. Test is #21…..and is nowhere in sight.

Orton RKO’s Angle and we cut to the back to see Test unconscious. Austin sees someone off camera and says they’re #21. The off camera man and presumable attacker: MICK FREAKING FOLEY! Orton, the guy who spat in Foley’s face and called him a coward, PANICS. The place goes nuts and Foley explodes on Orton, beating him half to death and hitting a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them out. This would lead to some AWESOME matches at Mania and Backlash which put Orton up to the world title in August.

Foley keeps beating on Orton as Christian is #22. Mick picks up the steps and BLASTS a security guy who tries to stop him. Orton comes back with two chair shots and fires back at Mick. They brawl up the ramp and Foley pulls out Socko, only to put it on Nunzio who comes in at #23. We haven’t seen anything of the match for a while but I can live with that for a hot brawl like this. Orton kicks Foley low and runs as we go back to the ring.

Angle is getting double teamed as Nunzio is down on the floor. Big Show is #24 and apparently that’s Tazz’s pick. Thankfully he’s in the singlet and shorts again instead of the one piece swimsuit. Angle immediately goes after him but Show throws everyone around. Jericho is #25 as he’s in a weird phase of his career. He wasn’t a main event guy anymore but he had feuded with everyone in the midcard already so he just kind of hung around and filled in spots on the card.

All four guys go after Big Show (who has a head like a typewriter according to Tazz) but they can’t get him out. Charlie Haas is #26 but gets double teamed by Jericho and Christian. Currently we have Benoit, Angle, Jericho, Christian, Haas, Big Show and Nunzio who is on the floor. Jericho backdrops Christian out for the second year in a row as Billy Gunn is #27. Apparently this is a return for him. It’s Fameassers all around and then things slow down again.

John Cena is #28 and that pop is growing at an alarming rate. Show stares him down so Cena throws Nunzio in to kill some time. Nunzio goes after Show for some reason but Cena takes over for him to make it fair. RVD is #29 to a big pop of his own. It’s spin kicks all around until things settle down a bit. There’s an FU to Angle and Goldberg is #30. The final group: Benoit, Angle, Big Show, Jericho, Nunzio, Haas, Gunn, Cena, RVD and Goldberg. At least the ring didn’t fill up until the end so that’s not too bad.

Goldie spears a lot of people down to start before Nunzio jumps on his back like an idiot. Haas is put out and Nunzio takes a HUGE spear. Gunn is out as is Nunzio to get us down to seven. Goldberg loads up a Jackhammer on Show but Lesnar runs in with an F5 to break it up. Goldberg stares down Brock, allowing Angle to dump him out. All five remaining guys not named Big Show go after the one named Big Show but it still doesn’t work.

Everyone hits their finishers on Show instead with Cena (Show’s feud at the time) hitting the Shuffle instead of the FU, which I’m assuming they were saving for Mania. They try to dead lift Show and realize they screwed up by knocking a giant unconscious. Show shoves them all off and dumps Cena followed by Van Dam a few seconds later.

So it’s Big Show, Benoit, Angle and Jericho as the final four. Jericho gets sent to the apron twice and manages to hang on before bulldogging Show down. The Walls go on Show and he taps but Angle breaks the hold up for no apparent reason. Show chokeslams Benoit down but chokeslams Jericho even further, sending him to the floor to get us to three. A side slam puts Angle down and there’s another chokeslam to Benoit.

Show breaks up a German attempt from Angle but can’t block an Angle Slam. There’s a Slam to Benoit (it was a belly to back suplex but whatever) and the ankle lock to Show. Show taps again, but again it doesn’t mean anything. The big guy rolls through the hold and eliminates Angle in the process, getting us down to two.

Benoit dropkicks Show but knocks him back into the ring by mistake. A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface and Show taps again, but you know the drill by now. Show shrugs it off and picks Benoit up in a chokeslam. Benoit grabs a front chancery though and pulls Show to the apron….then has him teetering on the ropes…..AND BENOIT WINS! The crowd kept getting louder as Benoit pulled further and further. Awesome sequence there.

Rating: A. There were some slow spots but this was ALL about Benoit and I can’t complain about that at all. The ending sequence here with all three submission guys making Show tap was a cool idea and different from the ending to any other Rumble. They didn’t throw a stupid curve here and made Benoit look like a star here, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. Great Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The Rumble is really REALLY good but the rest is horrible. Don’t watch the rest of the show, but if you’re a Benoit fan and can still sit through a long match of his, this is absolutely required viewing. Things would change a bit more the next year as two REALLY big names would be the stars of the Rumble, but that’s not for another year. For now, this was all about Benoit and he nailed it.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

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http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #200
Date: August 9, 1999
Location: Idaho Center, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re at a milestone show here and there’s a pretty well known main event. At the moment we have the battle of the old guys with feuds ranging from Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan, Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg and Sting vs. Sid Vicious. That sounds like a reason to mix those guys up in a big match. Oh and we have country music with Chad Brock. Yeah I don’t remember him either. This is also the go home show for Road Wild. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap of the end of last week’s show.

Tony is back on commentary with no reason given for his absence. He does however have an announcement: Dusty Rhodes is now head of the WCW Championship Committee. Wasn’t he last seen as part of the NWO?

Norman Smiley/Lash Leroux/Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro/Insane Clown Posse

Uh…yay. Raven is in the corner and has officially named the team the Dead Pool. Do they like chimichangas? Vampiro and Lash get things going with some chops back and forth. Tony is back to his old standard by randomly talking about Nash vs. Hogan. Off to the Prince for his selection of right hands but Vampiro hits a kind of throwing powerbomb. You would think Norman or Lash would have done something given that he powerbombed Iaukea out of their corner, but my guess is they’re trying to figure out why the Insane Clown Posse is wrestling a match in Idaho.

Violent J. (called Jack Jeckyl by Tony. To be fair that’s what it says on his jersey) hits a decent suplex before playing Neidhart to Vampiro’s Hart in a Hart Attack. Shaggy comes in for a bad looking DDT but Prince sweeps the legs to take over. To make things worse, Shaggy’s shorts are falling down. Norman tries to come in to help Iaukea but it just allows Vampiro to hit him low.

J. drops a leg to the chest but hurts his head with a headbutt to the Prince. At least he knows his stereotypes. They head outside with Vampiro throwing Iaukea into the steps. Back in and Shaggy misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing the hot tag to Norman. A big old spinning slam drops Shaggy and everything breaks down. The fans are actually WAY into this one. Vampiro suplexes Lash down and J. adds a moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Clowns are an interesting case as they actually have some training so it’s WAY better than when celebrities have matches on Raw, but I’d still be hard pressed to call them good. They can do some very basic stuff like suplexes and the moonsault was acceptable, but they’d be lost trying to do more than a four minute match without people there to help them. Case in point, this match worked for the most part because the Clowns weren’t in a good chunk of it and the wrestlers carried it. The crowd helped a lot too as they were into the match, but the wrestling was nothing great.

Nitro Girls.

The Revolution is in the back with Dusty and ask him when things are going to change around here. Dusty says in due time but gets cut off by David Flair and Torrie Wilson. Dusty is called an old man so Benoit slaps the Crossface on David. Apparently the way to make things change is through violence because that earned Benoit a US Title shot. It’s about time someone realized David and his dad had no authority anymore and they could get the US Title off of him in about 10 seconds.

Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Public Enemy

The Rednecks have a new song called Good Old Boys, which is nowhere near as catchy. Tony starts talking about Chad Brock and actually gives us a reason for him to be here: he used to train at the Power Plant and actually was in an eight man tag on Saturday Night back in 1996. That still doesn’t make me want to see him but WCW never really cared what fans thought. Hennig throws Rocco around the ring to start but eats a boot in the corner.

Off to Grunge who has the same luck as Hennig when Windham blasts him with a lariat. Kendall actually does something by tripping up Grunge to keep the Rednecks in control. We hear about Brock even more as Johnny and Curt double clothesline each other. It’s a double tag as Public Enemy takes over with their usual brawling before a flip dive puts Barry through the table. Not that it matters though as Curt nails Grunge with the cowbell for the pin.

Rating: D. The Rednecks seem to be in decline as there isn’t much for them to do anymore. If the best they can come up with is having Curt feud with the country singer coming in to perform, they need to just disband the team now or let Hennig and Windham be a regular tag team. It was a fun idea while it lasted but there’s nothing for the team to do right now.

Little Jeanie vs. Mona

Tony tries to tell us how easy it is to order a WCW PPV as this is sounding more and more desperate every week. Jeanie never did anything that I can find. Apparently Mona was a powerlifter in her younger days, which isn’t something you would expect out of someone her size. They hit the mat to start and trade some hammerlocks and armbars. Jeanie isn’t half bad out there and takes a decent monkey flip to send her outside.

The match stalls for a bit as they trade places, only to have Jeanie choke a bit on the way back in. Mona gets two off a sunset flip and the fans give her a good reaction. Granted it likely has something to do with the short skirt flipping over but a pop is better than nothing. Back up and a dropkick to the head sends Jeanie into the corner. For a sweet ending, Mona puts on an Indian deathlock but grabs Jeanie’s shoulders and rolls her over, bridging the legs into the air for a pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly good match here and I’m surprised Jeanie never did anything else. She needed some work but with more experience and some polish she could have been something decent. Mona of course would have her success in the near future and it’s easy to see why off this match. This was a big, nice surprise.

Brandi Alexander, a chick that Mona beat up before, comes in but takes a clothesline from Mona.

Video on Hogan vs. Nash.

Hogan is in the back when his son Nick comes in. Hogan is in the NWO gear and Nick wants to know why his dad didn’t wear the red and yellow that Nick packed for him. We hear a noise though and Hulk runs out of the room, only to get laid out by Nash, Sid and Steiner. They beat him out to the ring but Sting and Goldberg make a quick save.

This is apparently enough for Hogan to put his career on the line on Saturday and makes a challenge for a six man tag. Nash says it’s on, but Sting wants Nash’s career on the line too. That’s cool as well, but Goldberg tops them all. He says Steiner doesn’t have anything to put on the line at Road Wild so he’ll just have to beat Steiner up.

Is there any question why the title was retired soon after this? I mean good grief it’s one thing to not acknowledge that someone is a champion but to flat out say that the belt is worthless? The worst part: you know Goldberg never got any flack for that backstage. Why would he anyway? The title has been dying a brutal death since Steiner became champion and just brutalized everyone he’s fought in meaningless matches.

That belt could be used for people like the Revolution, Booker T., Bagwell, even Disco Inferno or Cat. But instead it’s being held by a guy no one cares about while Goldberg says the belt doesn’t matter. Stupid decisions like this are among the biggest reasons WCW went under: they didn’t care about anyone but the old guys and they think people care about guys like Rick Steiner because he was a big deal nine years ago. I really can’t get over that stupid line. I agree Goldberg is above the TV Title, but did he have to point out that it’s worthless in general?

US Title: David Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Maybe this can make me feel better. Heenan’s tongue is falling out of his mouth over Torrie’s outfit. Little Naitch is ejected as referee and Nick Patrick will be taking over. Isn’t he almost just as corrupt? Flair immediately bails to the floor and tries to leave, only to be thrown back in by Malenko and Saturn. Douglas was there too but he was too busy reminding us of how great he was in ECW to actually help.

David bails again but is surrounded on the floor. A snap suplex sends the champ flying and Benoit slaps him a few times. Benoit is just toying with him here. Kanyon tries to do a hilarious looking run in (the look on his face was priceless as he looked like he was trying to save a baby from a burning building) but gets stopped by Saturn, allowing Benoit to drop the Swan Dive for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it’s clearly not about the wrestling but they did exactly what they were supposed to out there. Benoit FINALLY wins a singles title and gives David exactly what he deserves. Granted it’s about three months too late for it to have the impact they were going for but at least it finally happened.

Page comes in and Rock Bottoms Benoit but thankfully the Revolution runs in for the save before Page can ruin the moment. Benoit issues a challenge for Saturday in a No DQ match.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Savage to reveal who is going to guard George on Saturday, who also drove the Hummer. Gene introduces George as being with him but Savage is alone. After a quick President plug, he promises to kill Rodman on Saturday. Gene gets to the point by asking about the Hummer driver…..and Savage ignores him. One more line about Saturday and we’re done. As I ask myself every week, why do I even bother watching Thunder if they’re going to tease stuff like this and then never follow up?

Chris Adams/Dave Taylor vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr.

It’s Eddie and Taylor to get things going, but first they have to see who the fans are behind. The stalling continues as we’re nearly two minutes into the match with barely any contact. Taylor actually snaps off a headscissors and dropkick to send Eddie to the floor, drawing some solid booing. You would have thought Eddie would start that way but instead he headscissors Taylor down to take over.

Off to Rey, who is in an orange prison uniform because for some reason in the 90s, that was considered cool. Adams runs him over with a shoulder and a powerslam gets two. He misses a top rope splash though and Rey hits a Lionsault, on the same night that Chris Jericho was debuting on Monday Night Raw. Adams pops back up with that sweet superkick of his for two before catapulting him into the wrong corner.

Dave finally charges into a boot in the corner and the prison enthusiast rolls over for the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie dives through the ropes to take out Taylor. Adams is all alone, setting up a Mysterio top rope hurricanrana, followed by the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. What is with this show tonight? They’ve been nailing the wrestling all night with everyone clicking in the ring. Mysterio and Guerrero being a good tag team isn’t a surprise given how much they’ve worked together in the past. Adams and Taylor were fine in this role as two guys that can work well with anyone. If this was what Nitro was like until a big main event, I’d have far fewer complaints.

Speaking of complaints, cue the Dead Pool to jump Mysterio and Guerrero, only to have Kidman make the save. Six man on Saturday it seems.

Gene brings out the Rednecks, who imply they were with the Dixie Chicks and Shania Twain last night. Apparently they were scheduled to perform Good Old Boys live but Chad Brock has replaced them. Seriously, this is the best thing they can come up with? Ignore the fact that the fans booed Brock’s name in general but cheered when Hennig promised to beat him up. Why do I have a feeling this was translated as “See??? THE FANS RESPONDED TO HIS NAME! MORE CELEBRITIES!”

Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Over halfway through the show, Tony sends out get well wishes to Scott Hudson. Gee that’s nice of him. Did we ever get a reason why Tony was gone in the first place though? Kidman starts fast with a dropkick and the slingshot headscissors, potentially causing lethal hair damage. Disco pops back up and throws him over the top before grabbing a Russian legsweep back inside.

The chinlock is broken in about five seconds and Kidman nails a quick clothesline. Disco continues his hot pace (maybe he has a fever?) with a swinging neckbreaker and a hot (I’ve got something here!) shot for two. Kidman comes back with a Sky High, which is a move I really would like to see someone use as a finisher full time. And I mean someone that matters, not Titus O’Neil.

Kidman ducks his head though and eats the AWESOME jumping piledriver. I know he was a comedy guy but he always had one of the best piledrivers I’ve ever seen. It’s only good for two though so, in another recurring theme tonight, he tries it again, only to have Kidman faceplant him. The Shooting Star is ready but Vampiro runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Disco looked great here and continues to be one of the most underrated WCW guys in the ring. Vampiro coming in makes sense and keeps setting up their match on Saturday, though they could have spaced the matches out better on the card. By having them back to back, it runs the risk of overloading people on one feud, and you know there’s a big crowd to see wrestling clowns.

Vampiro plants Kidman with a super Nail in the Coffin. I’m not a Vampiro fan but that looked GREAT, especially Kidman’s head flying up after impact and falling back onto the mat. Disco actually tries to make the save but eats a superkick, drawing out Eddie and Rey for the real save. Disco offers Rey a handshake but Rey is a hugger, sending Disco running away in fear. If a small man in a prison uniform tried to hug me, I’d be a bit nervous too.

The announcers chat about Saturday’s main event.

Scott Norton vs. Buff Bagwell

Vicious runs Delicious over to start and shoulders him to the floor. A clothesline misses though and Buff hits some dropkicks (clearly inspired by his match with Riggs on Thursday) to knock Norton outside. Back in and Bagwell actually uses a dragon screw leg whip. Well that’s some psychology at least.

Norton shrugs it off though and hits his shoulder breaker as we see Cat putting on the red shoes up on the ramp. Bagwell fights out of a neck crank and a cross body actually works. Cue Cat to distract the referee so Onoo can nail Bagwell with the briefcase, giving Norton two. That’s enough to make Miller call his Mama, or come into the ring for a DQ. Ignore the lack of actual contact of course.

Rating: D. Well the good match streak had to die somewhere. This was about as bad as you would have expected as Bagwell just isn’t there in the ring. It makes sense that he was great as a tag guy because he can talk well enough to get on people’s nerves and then hit the Blockbuster for a good looking finish.

Speaking of the Blockbuster, Onoo takes one as Norton chases Cat to the back.

Now for the REAL main event in any event in the country (except whatever the Rosemont Horizon was called at this point because they’re smart enough not to have this nonsense over in that company), here’s…..A SINGER THAT DOESN’T EVEN GET AN INTRODUCTION! Yeah we come back from a break and the song is starting. You know those musical acts that are said to not need an introduction anywhere in the world but for some reason they’re introduced anyway? As in like Elvis, the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen etc? Well apparently Chad Brock is important enough to not actually introduce whatsoever.

He sings, people don’t care, Hennig comes out and jaws with him, the Rednecks and the Revolution come out for a staredown, I’ll never got those seven minutes of my life back.

As if that’s not enough, KISS is coming in two weeks.

Nitro Girls. They haven’t been around as much lately. You know who has been though? Chad Brock.

Kanyon vs. Booker T.

For history’s sake, the Millennium Clock ended right about now. All respective partners are out here with them. It’s Booker in control to start with a back elbow to knock Kanyon to the floor so Stevie can get in some cheap shots of his own. He doesn’t have this whole face thing down yet.

Back in and Kanyon extinguishes half of the Heat with a knee to the ribs and we hit the chinlock. Booker fights up with the usual as they’re clearly flying through this. The barrage of kicks set up the 110^th Street Slam but Kanyon pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. The rest of the Triad stops Stevie, allowing Kanyon to nail Booker with the belt, setting up the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match went so fast that there was only so much they could do out there. I’ll let you make your own complaint about Brock taking up their time. This was little more than another way to set up the Tag Team Title match on Saturday, which is about all you can do for a match like that. I’ve seen worse though.

Here’s Rodman to Voodoo Child, so maybe we’ll find out who was driving the Hummer here. Rodman says that this Saturday, George is going to learn that she’s his BEEP. You mean the woman that Rodman, in theory the face in this feud, as in the guy that has kidnapped George and attacked from behind, kidnapped and may have raped? Savage runs out and Rodman, your hero and mine, runs away in fear.

Sting/Goldberg/Hollywood Hogan vs. Rick Steiner/Sid Vicious/Kevin Nash

Nash’s team comes out to the Wolfpack theme but Nash has a Black and White logo on his shirt. I’M SO CONFUSED! Remember that if Nash’s team loses, his career is on the line Saturday. Goldberg comes out to Crush Em, which I like but it doesn’t have the same impact as his old music.

Now we get the big, famous moment here though as Hogan returns to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years. Tony loses his mind as you would expect him to. To their credit, the fans go NUTS in one of the final legitimate shows of emotion you’ll ever find in WCW. I take no shame in admitting that it gave me a big smile too as I grew up a Hulkamaniac and he belongs in the red and yellow. Also, has there ever been a better three man face team in WCW?

Hogan and Steiner get things going and the worthless champion is shoved down. The big boot connects about a minute in and even Heenan is fired up to see Hogan. Some more right hands drop Steiner and the giants take punches of their own. Hogan beats up all three villains on his own and they take a breather on the floor. With Hogan dominating, the fans chant for Goldberg. You know, the guy in a match with someone that has nothing to put up on Saturday.

Goldberg gets the tag and the pop of the night as Nash comes in to face him. Nash hammers away but eats a superkick and suplex as the fans get even louder. You can see Hogan saying “Yeah they popped louder for me brother. I heard them chanting HO-GAN too.” Sid walks into a powerslam and it’s off to Sting, who seems almost out of his league for once. He lays Sid on the top rope for the Stinger Splash but the top rope version gets two to stop the crowd dead.

The referee gets in the way of Nash’s Snake Eyes as someone has exposed the buckle. That earns him a ref bump and Sting hits a pair of Stinger Splashes into the exposed buckle and a third into a more modest buckle. Steiner comes in with a chair but there’s the spear. Hogan takes the chair and cleans house, including knocking Nash willy. Another referee comes out to say Nash is out for the win, putting his career on the line Saturday.

Rating: B-. It’s a very fun match and Hogan coming back in the red and yellow is a big moment. We had a top level WCW face team against the three top heels (since Flair has disappeared) and the crowd went nuts. That brings me to my one big issue with the match: wouldn’t this have made more sense next week?

Next week’s main event would be Hogan vs. Sid for the title, so couldn’t they have swapped that to this week and had the six man after the PPV? With this, whatever they do on Saturday is going to feel like a letdown from this and you get Hogan putting on the red and yellow again after he defeats his “biggest challenge” (work with me here) thanks to the power of the Hulkamaniacs. This took away the drama because you know Hulk Hogan isn’t losing to Nash in this kind of a match. Still though, good moment and a really fun main event.

Overall Rating: B-. Easily the best Nitro in months, but this company is clearly running on borrowed time. The main event scene is dying for some fresh blood and putting Hogan in the old colors is only going to keep him going for so long. Benoit getting the title is a bright spot and at least a sign of hope, but I’m still stuck on that TV Title line. It’s going to take some time to get that back to credibility and Rick Steiner holding it isn’t going to help that. Midcard title problems aside, this show was solid action (mostly) in front of a red hot crowd. They still need to cut back to two hours, but not being horrible is a good start.

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Monday Nitro #199
Date: August 2, 1999
Location: Sioux Falls Arena, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’m really starting to feel sorry for the wrestlers in this company. They have to work hard and try to carry this show to something resembling wrestling while the old guard just won’t shut up and get out of the way. There’s room for the older generation in a company because the young guys have no credibility without wins over established names, but there comes a point where it’s time to pass the torch. Unfortunately that was well over a year ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event stuff in case you’re having a hard time staying awake this week.

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash with Goldberg basically as a plot device.

We see Harlem Heat reuniting on Thunder.

Harlem Heat vs. Kanyon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Non-title with Page not in wrestling gear. Before the match he makes more your mama jokes about Benoit. He goes one step further though by saying David Flair is a better US Champion than Benoit could ever be. Oh you know it’s on now. Well at least Harlem Heat’s music is on, minus the pyro. Also in an amusing bit: Booker told Stevie to take off the black and white to reform the team. Naturally tonight, they’re in black and white.

Page leaves so Booker and Kanyon can have a Raise the Roof contest. Booker cranks on the arm and nails a dropkick before it’s off to his brother. Kanyon is mediocrekicked outside and Bigelow comes in for a power brawl. It’s Bigelow hammering him down until Stevie actually blocks a suplex and takes Bigelow over with one of his own. Booker and Kanyon come back in to try and make this a bit more interesting. Seriously if you have those two in a match, why would you ever let it be Stevie vs. Bigelow?

Anyway, Bigelow offers a distraction so Kanyon can poke Booker in the eye. Another suplex puts Booker down and Bigelow adds the top rope headbutt for two. It’s not quite Benoit, but then again maybe Bigelow’s mama was worse than Chris’. Booker fights up again and hammers away before nailing the flying forearm.

The hot tag brings in Stevie for big boots all around as the fans just not care. Everything breaks down and Stevie breaks up Greetings From Asbury Park. Not a Springsteen fan I guess. The Harlem Sidekick sends Kanyon to the floor and Booker goes up top, only to have Page come out and get on the apron. This brings out Benoit for a save, allowing Booker to dropkick Kanyon for the pin.

Rating: C+. This one is a mixed bag for me as the match was a nice change of pace from the stuff I’ve been sitting through lately, but at the same time I’m really not liking the idea that Booker T. is back in the same tag team he was stuck in for about four years. Harlem Heat used to be great, but I really don’t want to see the team again in late 1999.

Booker is the guy that should be the US Champion, but instead we’re sitting through an angle designed to make Ric look corrupt, even though he doesn’t have the power anymore. Is there a reason why Sting hasn’t done something about that yet? Does WCW even know that Sting has been in charge for like two weeks now? If they do, why hasn’t he like, done something yet?

Benoit wants a match later with Page.

Lenny and Lodi ask Ernest where he shops. Because they’re gay you see and gay men like to shop. HAVE THEY MADE IT CLEAR TO YOU THAT THEY’RE GAY YET??? I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’VE BEATEN IT OVER YOUR HEAD ENOUGH YET SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHOUT TO GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD SOME MORE! Did I mention this story is getting on my nerves?

Opening sequence.

Chad Brock will be performing next week. I don’t know who he is either.

Here’s President Sting with something to say. He wants Sid and Steiner out here tonight but needs a partner. The fans chant for Goldberg and Sting seems to think that’s quite a jolly idea. He’ll be back here at 9pm to get Goldberg’s answer.

Sonny and the Cat (sounds like a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon show) come out to rip on Buff’s bunny slippers deal last week. Tonight he’s going to whip someone without his red slippers, so he wants Lenny and Lodi out here right now. If they show up, he’ll tell them where he shops. Apparently this is a match.

The Cat vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

They’re now wearing glitter and sucking on lollipops. Miller rams their heads together to start and throws Lodi to the floor before beating on Lenny. Lane goes outside as well and we have a chase involving Onoo. Back in and a pair of Feliners drop the brothers so Miller can pin Lane.

Ok, time to pause for a second. Let’s take a look at this. We have two men who are apparently gay, even though I don’t think it’s actually been said yet. On top of that, they follow almost every gay stereotype in the book, ranging from bright clothing to glitter to shopping. Then apparently they’re stupid enough that Miller can beat them both up in less than two minutes because they’re weak fighters. Oh and they’re brothers because why not make an incest joke too.

What in the world is the point of this storyline? If there’s any reason behind it other than to make fun of gay people, I certainly can’t see it. I tend to think that a lot of official statements and complaints from groups due to something they find offensive are stupid and a case where they need to just grow thicker skin, but this deserved every single lawsuit, complaint and raking over the coals that WCW got.

Compare them to the version that came three years later: Billy and Chuck. Now I’m not saying Billy and Chuck were some great leap forward for gay rights, but they were done roughly 19,000% better than Lenny and Lodi. To begin with, they won the Smackdown Tag Team Titles twice. In other words, they actually WON something. Have Lenny and Lodi won a single match between the two of them since this story started?

On top of that, and most importantly of all, they weren’t treated as something horrible and worthless. Yeah they were played for comedy, but the comedy felt much more lighthearted with them. Lenny and Lodi are seemingly getting beaten up because they’re easy targets. Billy and Chuck came off as stupid, but harmless for the most part. This story though comes off as offensive, low brow and really, really hateful. I could have gone with this story until they were suddenly brothers, because that changed this from something amusing to WCW trying to shock people and get a rise out of them.

Here’s Gene, who suddenly loves Hogan again. Okerlund always was a fickle guy. Anyway here’s Hogan in the black and white and a necklace made of paperclips (seriously) but minus the beard. Apparently the chicks have been all over him since he shaved. Sounding like Hulk instead of Hollywood, he talks about bleeding last week and how the cameras had to pan away before kids got scared. Oh come on that cut was so lame that even the Maryland State Athletic Commission wouldn’t have stopped the match. Anyway, Nash is a woman and Hogan is SHOOTING. Nash can have his title shot tonight if he wants one.

Sting comes out to get Goldberg’s answer. We see Goldberg looking at a clock and heading towards the ring, only to run into Rick Steiner before he gets through the curtain. Steiner lures him into a room where Sid is waiting with a snow shovel. Goldberg gets blasted in the head a few times but Sting runs into the back.

This goes as well as you would think it would as Sid and Steiner beat Sting down as well before dragging him back to the ring. Sting fights back but eats a chokeslam, only to have Goldberg run out for the save. You would think a SNOW SHOVEL TO THE BACK from a 6’10 300+lb monster would have more effect than it did in Home Alone but whatever. Goldberg wants to fight and I think we have our main event. This was actually a really well done segment and set up the match quite well. Unfortunately the match is going to be a disaster but the build was good.

Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

Karagias speeds things up to start with some hiptosses and dropkicks. You can tell there’s something here as the announcers actually stop prattling on about the main event to hype Evan. Of course as they do that, Disco comes back with his usual barrage of clotheslines and atomic drops, followed by a middle rope forearm to the face for two. A second attempt misses though and Evan comes back with some right hands and a powerslam. Evan grabs a nice snap suplex but Disco actually uses his experience to hold the ropes to avoid a dropkick. The Last Dance is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. Hokey smoke that was actually entertaining while it lasted. It’s so rare for a match like this to have some thought put into it. Yeah it’s a basic story with Evan being full of fire but Disco using his experience to catch him trying for one too many moves, but the fact that there’s something to a match this short says a lot. I’ve said it time and time again: when you cut out all the nonsense and over thinking of a match and just let guys tell a story, it’s going to be entertaining because most wrestlers on this level are talented enough to make a match work.

Torrie thinks David should only have to defend the title when he feels like it because he’s already beaten everyone. Ok then.

Video on David Flair’s US Title reign.

KISS is here in three weeks.

Nitro Girls.

Sid says…..something in a whisper that I couldn’t understand other than the word Goldberg.

Hugh Morrus/Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

The youth movement is officially dubbed the Revolution. Dean tries a Cloverleaf in the first ten seconds but Morrus makes a fast save. The Revolution quickly clears the ring and stands tall. Well not really but you get the idea. Back in and it’s Morrus gorilla pressing Shane, which I’m sure is Ric Flair’s fault somehow. Shane escapes and dropkicks Hugh down, but that’s enough wrestling for Shane so it’s back to Malenko for a rollup.

Apparently Dean isn’t cool with Shane showing up and jumping into this group with people who have put up with WCW’s nonsense so he tags him right back in. Hugh nails a clothesline but takes too long loading up No Laughing Matter, allowing Shane to slam him down. A double tag brings in Malenko to hammer away on Flynn, only to take another clothesline. Jimmy Hart gets involved by tripping Malenko to the mat before Flynn starts kicking.

We run through the gauntlet of all the standard face in peril spots from the sunset flip broken up by a tag, the referee not seeing the tag and the heels taking turns with really basic moves. Flynn misses his 495^th kick of the match and Dean dives over to make the tag. Douglas cleans house with right hands and a powerslam on Flynn for two. Everything breaks down and the Pittsburgh Plunge is enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D+. Sweet they have a really simple name now and they even beat a nothing tag team! Clearly they’re ready to move to the top of the company and take over the industry. This push seems to be too little too late as we had to sit through Bagwell’s push just dying and the Triad going over the Revolution time after time, save for I think a three day title reign for Benoit and Saturn. At the end of the day, these guys could light the world on fire but it’s never going to matter because WCW is too busy booking musical acts for the show instead of paying attention to guys working hard to entertain the people.

Malenko takes the Hardcore Trophy from Hart and says he’s bringing this back to Fit Finlay where it belongs.

Speaking of the musical acts, KISS is still coming in three weeks.

Goldberg Megadeath video.

Nitro Girls.

In a bizarre segment, Rick Steiner comes out, throws Scott Hudson into the ring for a belly to belly, and is taken out by security as we take a break.

We come back with Bischoff joining commentary as Hudson is taken into an ambulance. Great, now we get another hour and a half of Bischoff babbling about doing the right thing, which makes me think of Stephanie McMahon’s stupid interviews where she just goes on and on about whatever her latest endeavor is and how important it is while no one else in the world has any idea or cares what the heck she’s talking about.

Sturn comes out for his match and Bischoff immediately starts talking about how Saturn and the Revolution will be taking the company into the next generation. I’m sure that’s why you booked Bagwell vs. Piper in a freaking boxing match a few weeks back and are giving us Hogan vs. Nash at Road Wild while the Revolution doesn’t actually have a match announced.

As if that wasn’t enough, Hennig comes out before the match and rips on Chad Brock for not being a real country singer. So the Revolution can’t get a feud but the freaking country singer can get one? Again, you can see why this company is about to die from here. Maybe Benoit and company should put out a record and get on the radio if they want a spot in the main event. Or they should stop having good matches and turn 40.

Anyway Hennig sends Duncum in to fight and Saturn plants him with a Death Valley Driver immediately. Saturn wants Hennig in there right now because he isn’t a real cowboy. Time for a replacement match.

Saturn vs. Curt Hennig

Saturn is all over him like over the hill wrestlers on an episode of Nitro and quickly knocks him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Possibly too drunk to feel pain, Hennig knocks him out of the corner and nails a quick neck snap. Curt hits his knee lift as Bischoff talks about Hennig in the WWF for no apparent reason. A low blow puts Saturn back down (just make them legal. I don’t remember the last week that went by without one of those happening.) but he rips Curt’s shirt off. Back up and Saturn nails a quick spinwheel kick and the Death Valley Driver but the Windhams run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just story development as I’m assuming we’re setting up the Rednecks vs. the Revolution at Road Wild. That being said, it really wasn’t the best match in the world but again, that’s due to the lack of time. I kind of which they could have taken out Kendall Windham instead of Duncum because Bobby actually has some potential rather than just a famous last name, but this went five minutes and didn’t manage to bury any talent or put the first 20 rows to sleep so they’re improving.

The Rednecks try to tie Saturn up but the rest of the Revolution comes in for the save.

Video of Benoit getting screwed out of the US Title last week.

Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

All this over a your mama joke. They spit at each other to start until Page nails him in the ribs and grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Benoit will not be outsuplexed by anyone so he slaps on the Crossface, sending Page scurrying to the floor. Back in and Page nails a quick neckbreaker but the Diamond Cutter is stopped and Benoit grabs the snap suplex.

Remember a year and a half back when these two and Raven were tearing up the midcard over the US Title? Well now Benoit is still the same guy he was before and Page has just been going through the motions for months now, basically wasting all of his time built up as a top guy. Anyway Page elbows him in the face and hits that very nice helicopter bomb (that should be a finisher. It worked in No Mercy so it works in real life) for two.

Another low blow keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets yet another two. Page goes up top for the sole purpose of getting crotched and superplexed to put both guys down again. Benoit rolls some Germans but, say it with me, Page hits him low to escape. A Rock Bottom gets two for Page but Benoit plants him with a DDT. The Swan Dive connects as David Flair comes out, only to get knocked off the apron. The distraction lets Page grab a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good, hard hitting match here as Benoit gets a pin over a former World Champion. Like I said it’s a far cry from their great US Title match on Thunder the previous year, but it’s always good to see Benoit get something like this. It wasn’t even that overbooked with just the Flair interference near the end. Now if only Benoit gets to keep this momentum going.

And of course it lasts all of 8 seconds as Benoit eats a two Diamond Cutters plus one off the top as the Triad comes in. David taunts Benoit with the belt, apparently continuing their…..I’m not sure what to call it because a three minute beating with a screwy ending doesn’t sound like much of a feud.

Here’s Savage on his own to talk to Okerlund. He’s suspended his campaign for President (oh darn the luck) because he has to hurt Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and Dennis Rodman. He wants Rodman out here right now but gets the former Miss Madness instead. Mona begs to be back on his team again so Savage shoves her down to her knees. Savage looks at her and says she’s still fired.

Cue Rodman with the No Limit Soldiers and oh dear goodness why are they mixing these stories? Rodman says George is his now, presumably because once you’ve gone black you never go back. Rodman: “Once you go black, you never go back.” Mona hits Savage low and Rodman comes in for the same offense he had back in 1997 and the fans love it as we go to a break.

Why are these two feuding? That’s a serious question. One night Savage just started talking trash about Rodman and now we’re watching this mess every week. As has been my issue for months, why isn’t this ANY ACTIVE WCW WRESTLER fighting Savage and getting this rub by association? It worked wonders for Page last year but now it’s all about Dennis Rodman for the short term celebrity moment. If nothing else, have some young guy fight with Rodman. Also, who am I supposed to cheer for here? The kidnapper or the woman beater?

Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero

Vampiro has Raven and the Clowns with him. It’s amusing hearing Heenan talk about the Insane Clown Posse when he clearly has no idea who they are and would love to rip on them if not for Bischoff sitting next to him. Eddie stomps him into the corner to start as Bischoff tries to apologize for the comments made in the previous segment. I’d prefer he just apologize for the previous segment but I’d rather not hear him talk about doing the right thing again.

A clothesline turns Vampiro inside out but Raven trips Eddie up to take over. Eddie is sent outside and knocks a cameraman over as the Clowns get in some cheap shots. They whip him into the steps before Vampiro and Eddie trade chops back inside. Vampiro gets armdragged off the top and dropkicked over the top, only Shaggy. Eddie hits a great looking dive to put them down again but Raven shoves him off the top, setting up the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.

Rating: C-. Good grief stop with the celebrities! We have Brock, Rodman and the Clowns all on the show plus KISS coming in to perform in a few weeks and getting two separate videos so far tonight. They have such a huge roster but insist on bringing in those people to keep taking spots and going further and further into the hole against Raw. But hey, Bischoff is saying how great the Revolution is so that has to mean something right?

The Clowns beat Eddie down post match but Mysterio comes out for the save.

Berlyn is coming. I actually liked that character.

Hogan comes out for commentary with Bischoff. Oh this is going to hurt.

Sid/Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg/Sting

Hogan’s first gem is about wanting to pass the torch to Sting. There’s a LONG rant about Starrcade 1997 in there but I want to get this over with. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start until Sting suplexes Sid over the top and back into the ring. That lasts all of four seconds before they head back outside and switch things up. I guess these old guys can’t handle having a match at this point. Steiner sends Sting into the buckles back inside before tagging Sid in as the match actually gets going.

Sting takes his second chokeslam of the night but Goldberg makes a fast save. That’s enough for Sting to start a comeback but a splash on the mat hits knees. Sid’s legdrop hits the mat though and Sting loads up the Scorpion, only to have Steiner break it up. Everything breaks down again with Goldberg being sent to the apron. Naturally it’s time to cheat but Hogan takes a chair from Rick and blasts him in the head with it, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. Standard angle disguised as a wrestling match here with Goldberg never actually tagging in. It’s a shame that the main event is being hogged by these guys but that’s a broken record at this point. This is clearly setting up a big six man followed by three singles matches at the PPV. In other words, Goldberg went from World Champion to gone for months to the TV Title against Rick Steiner while Hogan and Nash have the main event title program because Nash felt like turning heel. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Cue Nash to powerbomb Hogan through the announcers’ table to end the show. It’s a good thing there were no monitors on the table and that it was clearly gimmicked.

Overall Rating: C-. I hate to admit it but they’re getting a little better. Maybe I’m just numb to how bad WCW is at this point but I didn’t hate this episode. I hated things about it but the wrestling was mostly fine and the stories actually advanced. Granted the stories are mostly about the celebrities and old people but they are indeed advancing. At this point it’s more that you have to just accept what you’re given with WCW because the chances of them getting it right get weaker and weaker every week.

The Revolution stuff continues to frustrate me every week. You can see them chomping at the bit to take over, but they’re clearly running on a treadmill, perpetually stuck being the guys waiting to take over instead of ever actually taking over. Those spots are saved for the guys that were draws before and will be draws in the future because once you’re a draw, you’re ALWAYS a draw, but apparently you can’t become a draw for some reason. Even Goldberg, who was the hottest guy in the world not named Austin last year, is looking more like a catalyst to get to the real main event of Hogan vs. Nash. Better but still weak show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 22, 1999
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 6,754
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

Thankfully (I think?) we’re back to a live show this week as we’re getting closer to Road Wild. The main story coming out of Monday is Kevin Nash turning on Hogan for no apparent reason other than the script suggests that we need a heel vs. face title match. Other than that we have Sting in control of the company now, which I barely remember whatsoever. Let’s get to it.

The announcers do their usual intro/hype.

Van Hammer vs. Kaz Hayashi

The Glacier gear is gone. Kaz’s headlock goes as well as you would expect it to and Hammer hits a nice looking gorilla press. Now Kaz tries to slug it out to similar results so he finally dropkicks the knee twice in a row for one, but the kickout sends him flying through the ropes. Hammer runs him over with a Vader clothesline before throwing him right back to the floor. Back in again and Kaz goes after the knee to take the big man down. An elbow drop gets two but Hammer trips his legs to get a breather.

A big old beal sends Hayashi flying and we hit a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Hammer suplexes him down for two but Kaz comes back with every strike he can throw. Kaz actually tries a powerbomb which works as badly as you would expect. Hammer comes back with Snake Eyes and a big boot for two more as frustration is setting in. Back up and Kaz hits a quick bulldog and missile dropkick, only to miss a quick backsplash. A spinebuster and the cobra clutch slam are enough to end Kaz after longer than you would expect.

Rating: C. WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??? Kaz and Hammer just had a good match that I was actually liking. Granted it’s completely in spite of whatever WCW was trying to do with it as no one is watching this show and it’s in the opening match slot. This was actually entertaining and I had a good time watching it. It had to happen at some point.

Lenny and Lodi are upset about something they have to do later.

The announcers talk about the issues between Savage’s girls.

Brandi Alexander vs. Miss Madness

Alexander is officially “off the independent scene”. Madness is wrestling in a short version of the dress she wears to the ring as a valet. The fans are entirely behind Madness here as she takes Brandi down by the arm. Some dropkicks send Alexander out to the floor and claims a pull of the tights. Back in and Brandi hammers away before throwing Madness across the ring by the hair in a good looking spot. It looks so good that she does it again with Tenay spending way too much time talking about Madness’ long blonde hair.

A hard shot to the face keeps Brandi in control before a clothesline gets two. The fans aren’t pleased with Brandi choking on the ropes but they don’t mind a Boston crab nearly as much. That goes nowhere so Brandi goes up, only to get slammed off the top. A side slam gets two for Madness and a bad looking headscissors sends Brandi down again. Larry: “You gotta get vicious! Pretend there’s a sale!” Madness grabs a suplex but bridges up like a northern lights for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad and was a few light years ahead of what the WWF was doing with its girls at the moment, but it still wasn’t all that great. Miss Madness would get much better as Molly Holly whereas Alexander hasn’t done anything that I can find outside of this and two more matches with Miss Madness later in the year.

A Goldberg video to Crush Em brings out Curt Hennit, who says the Rednecks are much more popular than Goldberg. He’s willing to prove that tonight but thinks we should wait until Monday.

Curt Hennig vs. Chase Tatum

The muscular Chase shoves Curt off to start and knocks him to the corner with a hard shoulder. The Rednecks offer a distraction and Hennig gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over. There’s the Hennig Necksnap and Curt rips at Chase’s eyes for good measure. Curt nails his knee lift and puts on a sleeper but Chase powers out of it again.

Hennig cranks on the leg on the mat as the other Rednecks offer some assistance. Back up and a kind of pumphandle powerslam gets two on Curt but he sends Chase to the floor for a big beatdown. Swoll comes in with the heart “punch” but hits Chase by mistake, setting up the HennigPlex for the pin.

Rating: D. It takes a lot to make Curt Hennig look bad but that’s exactly what Chase just did. Tatum wasn’t anything of note and a generic power guy who probably got this job based on his look. With some more training and experience, he might have fit in with the Natural Born Thrillers in a year or so.

Sid comes up to Lenny and Lodi and wishes the luck in their match tonight. The brothers ask Jimmy Hart for help but he just suggests having a doctor at ringside.

We get a clip of Booker T. saving his brother from the Triad on Monday.

Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera

Rey and Juvy get things going but Guerrera quickly tags out. Mysterio tries to deck him as he leaves so Juvy gyrates a lot on the apron. Juvy comes back in without Psychosis doing anything and they trade wristlocks. It’s quickly off to Psychosis again who misses a charge and hits the post to give the good people an early advantage. Eddie comes in and takes Juvy down to the floor before backdropping Rey into a moonsault for an awesome spot. Back in and Eddie throws Guerrera outside again, only to have to bail out of a dive.

We take a break and come back with Rey in Psychosis’ abdominal stretch. That boring hold is upgraded by Psychosis loading him up for an Outsider’s Edge and Juvy coming in with a guillotine legdrop for two. Back to Psychosis who charges into Rey’s boots, allowing Eddie to come in and clean house. Everything breaks down and Rey nails Eddie by mistake, only to have Eddie throw him at Juvy for a headscissors. They’re not done yet though as Rey puts Psychosis on top and throws a charging Rey up for a super hurricanrana and the pin.

Rating: C+. Total spotfest here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Guerrero was basically just a guy there to throw Rey around for the high spots though, which is kind of a waste as the team got together because of Eddie having issues with the other luchadors. Still though, entertaining stuff with some great high spots.

We see Lex Luger, Savage and Gorgeous George on Arliss this coming Sunday.

Here are Savage, Miss Madness and Gorgeous George with something to say. Savage asks for our votes in the 2000 election but quickly moves on to Rodman, ripping on him for wearing women’s closing and hitting him with a purse. Miss Madness is fired for trying to upstage him, meaning Savage rips off her sash. She gets down on her knees and begs for her job but Savage fires her anyway. Savage hasn’t forgotten about Nash either.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sick Boy

Rick is defending if that’s not clear. Before the match we get the usual catchphrases from the champ and he wants a piece of Goldberg. They circle around each other for a bit until Rick nails a hard Steiner Line. A release German suplex sends Sick Boy flying and Rick rips at his face on the mat. The Steiner Bulldog ends this quick.

We recap the Nash vs. Hogan stuff from Monday.

Nash calls in to the show and challenges Hogan to a tag match this Monday with partners of their choice. Kevin’s partner is a buddy of his that he’s known for nine years. Of course they’re hinting at Hall and I’d be stunned if it was actually him. Nash brings up his history with Hogan and says he only let him into the NWO so he could keep an eye on Hulk, because Hulk has a history of being a backstabbing jerk.

Video of Sting beating Flair with Bischoff counting the fall.

Sid Vicious vs. Lenny/Lodi

A chokeslam plants Lodi in ten seconds and Lenny takes a boot to the face. Sid hits a cobra clutch slam on Lenny, which is another way for Sid to do a chokeslam. Powerbombs for both guys set up a double pin. So the gay brothers are getting beaten up by a monster for no apparent reason. I’m sure this will be well received.

Dean Malenko vs. Ric Flair

They start faster than you would expect with Dean getting dropped by a shoulder, only to have him take Flair down with a quick drop toehold. An early Cloverleaf attempt doesn’t work so Dean hammers Ric out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Dean hammers away in the corner but gets suckered into a thumb to the eye. Ric snapmares him down, only to miss the knee drop. Dean channels his inner Flair and slaps on the Figure Four, only to crawl over to the ropes for a break.

Back up and Dean is sent to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Malenko in full control and sending Ric into the corner for a Flair Flip. Dean works him over on the floor until Asya offers a distraction, allowing Ric to take over with a cheap shot. A Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package but Asya has the referee. Flair counters everything Dean throws at him, including a belly to back suplex to break up a headlock.

Another Figure Four attempt is blocked and Malenko comes back with the leg lariat. Flair tries to bail but runs into Benoit and Saturn. This brings out Bigelow and Kanyon for a brawl but Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Page comes in from behind to break it up but gets shoved into Asya, only to have Flair grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine due to the talent level in there and I liked the idea they were going for with Flair being more experienced and polished than Malenko, allowing him to counter everything Dean threw at him. The ending was overbooked but at least Dean didn’t lose entirely clean.

Overall Rating: C. At this point, Thunder can only really be judged on what happens in the ring. In this case, the wrestling was watchable enough to get through two hours but there’s almost no reason to care about anything. Considering that the matches are almost never referenced on Nitro and nothing here mattered, it basically boils down to whether or not you liked the wrestling. It was decent enough this week so we’ll go right in the middle.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Monday Nitro #197
Date: July 19, 1999
Location: Metrocentre, Rockford, Illinois
Attendance: 7,558
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

We’re inching closer to Road Wild and we have a main event of World Champion Hollywood Hogan defending against Kevin Nash, who may or may not be a heel now. The main story for tonight though is Sting facing Ric Flair for control of the company, which is a more interesting match as I really don’t remember where these stories go. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap from last week and the opening sequence.

Here’s Sid for an intellectual chat. He can feel the same thing the fans feel in his blood and wants Hogan’s World Title. We get the usual catchphrases and I’m assuming that’s our main event.

Nitro Girls.

Jerry Flynn vs. Fit Finlay

Before the match Jimmy Hart pops up on screen to challenge Finlay for Road Wild, giving him a chance to get the trophy back. Finlay takes over to start and hammers on Jerry in the middle of the ring. Then he hammers him against the ropes and in the corner for good measure. A snapmare and elbow get two on Jerry but he pops up with his spinwheel kick to get a breather. The fans actually cheer for Jerry as he nails a top rope clothesline for two, only to walk into a jawbreaker.

They head outside for some shots into the barricade but the referee takes Finlay’s chair away. We hit the chinlock back inside as Jimmy pops up on screen to cheer for Jerry again. Flynn comes back with his usual jobber offense and chokes against the ropes. He avoids a charging Finlay but walks into the rolling fireman’s carry. Not that it matters though as Finlay leaves to go after Hart, only to get jumped by the First Family, including Flynn. I’m assuming it’s a no contest.

Rating: D-. This is the match that’s supposed to get people to stick with the show? Seriously? This is the best they can come up with? When you have Road Dogg, Bob Holly and Al Snow doing actually entertaining hardcore stuff, at least try to counter with actual hardcore stuff instead of two guys having a bad match. It might actually work. Ok not likely but it could.

JJ Dillon is in the back with Lenny and Lodi. Their contracts have been renewed by something went wrong. Apparently they’re really brothers and should have signed as such. This story just reached a new level of creepy and stupid, which I didn’t think was possible.

Hogan comes out, says he’s going back to his old ways of listening to the fans and accepts Sid’s challenge. Somehow this took five minutes.

Video on Flair vs. Sting.

Norman Smiley vs. Lodi

Lenny and Lodi hug before we get going. Lodi rakes the eyes to take over early on, only to get armdragged down. The spinning slam sends Lodi running to the floor though and it’s time for another embrace. Smiley sends him into the barricade to keep Lodi in trouble though and it’s time for the BIG WIGGLE.

Lenny seems to like the idea and does it too, allowing Lodi to get in a cheap shot to take over. Lodi rolls some suplexes for two with Smiley getting a foot on the ropes. Norman fights up but runs into an elbow to the jaw. We pause for a bit for a consultation between the brothers, only to have Lodi run into a boot in the corner. The Norman’s Conquest goes on and Norman rolls Lodi up for the fast pin.

Rating: D. So we have brothers who…..you know what? I can’t get through this sentence without feeling very wrong. It’s a shock value story and isn’t making me care about either guy any more than I did before. I can’t picture it ending well either as it’s going to get into some uncomfortable areas.

The brothers try the Big Wiggle post match.

DJ Ran.

Eric Bischoff jumps in on commentary. Yay.

Video hyping Sting vs. Flair. Basically Sting says Flair is corrupt (he is) and now Sting wants a match for control of the company.

Sting vs. Ric Flair

Bischoff goes on another rant about what he did wrong. I really don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish with these talks but it comes off like trying to make me care about Bischoff, which would work better if he actually DID something. Sting plants Robinson with a Scorpion Death Drop before the bell, meaning Mickie Jay will come out to referee. Flair looks terrified as reality begins to set in.

The gorilla press plants Flair to start and the chops have no effect. You would think ten years would have taught Flair a lesson already. Sting sends him into the corner but Ric nails a quick low blow to take over. He tries a suplex from the apron to the floor and I’m assuming you know how that turns out. Ric rolls outside and pulls Sting with him, only to eat a hard clothesline.

Back in and Sting nails a big superplex for two as Anderson makes the save. Sting nails Arn but here’s Sid to attack Sting and give us a mini Horsemen reunion. Flair slowly stomps away on Sting and puts on the Figure Four. The ropes are grabbed and Sting gets back up to no sell some more chops. He charges into an elbow though, allowing Flair to go up top. After the required slam off the top, Sting nails some clotheslines but Ric pulls the referee in front of the Stinger Splash. Anderson and Asya come in but are quickly dispatched, allowing Sting to put on the Scorpion. Bischoff comes in and accepts Flair’s submission.

Rating: C+. This was just the greatest hits from Sting vs. Flair, which is fine given that they almost always have a good match. That being said, this felt more about Bischoff’s redemption, even though no one was really interested in seeing him be redeemed anyway. The fact that these two have had what is likely to be the match of the night tells you all about the match selection on this show.

Post match Sid comes in and nails Sting before powerbombing Bischoff. Hogan runs in for the save.

TV Title: Horace vs. Rick Steiner

Let’s get this over with. Steiner hammers away on Horace to start with his usual array of brutally bad offense. Horace pulls him out to the floor but misses a splash on the barricade ala Sting. Back in and Steiner slugs Horace down again with hard shots to the face before putting on a chinlock. Horace fights up with a big boot to knock the champ outside. The referee doesn’t seem to mind the chair shots to Steiner’s back. Kevin Nash seems to mind though as he comes out to send Horace into the steps. The Steiner Bulldog retains the title.

Rating: D. Someone lock Steiner in a room so he can’t hurt any more matches. This was the usual dreadful mess with Rick in there beating up whomever he’s against and barely selling a thing. Horace isn’t much but he’s light years ahead of Rick, who somehow used to be a good hand in the ring.

Nash and Steiner touch fists post match, drawing out Hogan to ask what’s going on. Kevin says it’s personal and that’s that.

Nitro Girls.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

We continue the search for Eddie’s wallet. Psychosis misses a charge to start and crashes into the corner, allowing Eddie to baseball slide him out to the floor. Back in and Eddie nails a quick slingshot hilo, only to eat a clothesline from Psychosis. A headscissors and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker get two Eddie and we head outside again.

Eddie is sent into the barricade to work on the ribs so Psychosis throws him back in for a waistlock. A top rope spinwheel kick drops Eddie for two and a top rope hurricanrana gets the same. Eddie blocks a tornado DDT though and grabs a quick neckbreaker, followed by the Frog Splash for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Psychosis doesn’t get the respect he deserves as he’s actually better than people remember. He may not have been as good as the elite members of the division but he’s still more than able to hold his own in the ring. Eddie continues to look sharp since his return, but this wallet thing needs to wrap up soon so he can go somewhere else.

Villano V and La Parka run in to beat down Eddie post match until Rey Mysterio comes out for the save. Naturally former issues are forgotten and they shake hands.

In the back, Stevie Ray asks Vincent and Brian Adams to watch his back against the Triad. Adams isn’t interested because Ray should be worried about NWO business. He has a point there. Squashing Prince Iaukea on weekend C shows is serious business.

Kanyon vs. Stevie Ray

The Triad does their usual stuff but throws in some Your Mama jokes about Stevie. Ray storms the ring and destroys Kanyon with a big shoulder followed by a gorilla press and big boot. He’s wrestling like a total face so far. Kanyon ducks a corner clothesline though and hammers away, only to be thrown to the floor with ease. Stevie continues to defend his mama’s honor by sending Kanyon into the barricade and then the steps as this has been almost one sided.

Back in and Kanyon grabs a quick slam, followed by a middle rope legdrop for two. A swan dive misses though and Stevie plants Kanyon with a powerslam. The rest of the Triad comes in but Stevie fights them off with relative ease. Stevie totally botches the Slapjack, nearly falling onto Kanyon instead of jumping. Not that it matters as Page comes in for the DQ. Actually scratch that as the referee says it was a pin, even though Page hit him before the three. Ok then.

Rating: D+. Stevie looked like a monster out there but at the end of the day, there’s only so much he can do in the ring. That Slapjack was just horrible, especially when it doesn’t fit Stevie’s style. He’s a power guy but it’s really not a power move. If the skinny version of HHH can hit it, how powerful can it be?

The Triad beats Stevie down until Booker makes the save. To be fair they made fun of his mama too.

Robert Wuhl of Arli$$ joins commentary. I’ve never seen the show so I’m assuming he’s in character and doesn’t really sound this annoying.

Randy Savage vs. Kidman

There’s no Madusa with Savage for some reason. Before the match, Savage says he wants his title back and that he’s running for President in 2000. Sure why not. They trade wristlocks to start with Savage looking a bit frustrated. Savage kicks him in the ribs as Arliss is already getting on my nerves, talking about how amazing Dennis Rodman is. A headscissors and dropkick send Savage to the floor where he grabs a chair and blasts the announcers’ table.

Back in and Savage hammers away, only to get backdropped out to the floor for a big crash. That’s fine with Savage as he pulls Kidman out to the floor and chokes on the table……WITH A SLIM JIM! Ok that made up for a lot of the problems in this show. Back in again and Kidman eats an elbow to the jaw as Arliss STILL won’t shut up about Rodman. Miss Madness accidentally dropkicks Savage (at least it wasn’t the Molly Go Round) to give Kidman two. Savage pops up and piledrives Kidman into next year, setting up the big elbow.

He pulls up at two though and decks the referee, only to drop another referee. Cue Rodman in semi-drag to hit Savage in the back with his hat, sending Savage to the floor and Arliss into the ring to celebrate. I’m assuming the match was thrown out but the fans eat Rodman up because this is Chicago Bulls country.

Rating: C-. This summed up a lot of WCW’s issues in a nutshell. We had a watchable match going on, but between Arliss on commentary, Rodman coming in and the girls brawling afterwards, it was almost impossible to care about the match. On top of that, this was all to set up Randy Savage vs. Dennis Rodman? That’s the best idea they can come up with for a pay per view? Decent match ruined by WCW being unable to stop messing with things.

Security (and Tony Schiavone for some reason) comes in to break it up as Arliss makes a challenge for Savage vs. Rodman at Road Wild. Madusa comes out and brawls with Miss Madness

Clip of Vampiro beating up Konnan last week.

Konnan vs. Vampiro

Konnan babbles about cheddar before the match and slaps Vampiro in the face before the bell. Vampiro quickly takes over and suplexes him down for two before stomping away on Konnan. A spinwheel kick drops Konnan as Heenan sounds bombed. The kick to the ribs and X Factor set up a clothesline to knock Vampiro outside. Back in and a horrible looking takedown called a bulldog sets up the rolling lariat, only to have the Insane Clown Posse come in to stomp on Konnan for the DQ.

Shaggy 2 Dope drops a terrible looking “legdrop” on Konnan which seems to hurt him way more than it should. Raven is out with the clowns too. Rey tries to come in but gets laid out for a moonsault from Violent J. Let’s see: NWO, Team Savage, Rednecks, Triad, No Limit Solders, First Family, Vampiro and company and you could argue Regal/Finlay/Taylor. When you’re reaching enough factions to hold a factions tournament, it’s time to cut things down a few dozen notches.

Nitro Girls with DJ Ran.

Clip of Hogan winning the title last week.

Here’s Buff Bagwell dressed as the Cat to continue this stupid feud. I’ll gloss over the small guy with him in an Asian face mask and the fact that Buff has brown makeup on. His impression is good at least and he rips on fans for being fat. Buff promises to whip all of the Jacksons and wants to click his red shoes together three times to get out of Rockford. Eh point for a funny line. This brings out Cat and Onoo for a red shoe to the head and a Moonwalk elbow. So long Buff. It was nice having you in credability land while it lasted.

Road Wild ad.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

This could be good. Hennig takes Benoit into the corner to start but has his whip reversed so Benoit can hammer away. A dropkick to the knee puts Curt down and it’s off to Saturn for a double suplex. Back to Benoit very quickly for a double clothesline before the Crippler goes back to the knee. Kendall finally trips Benoit up to give Hennig a breather, allowing Curt to nail a clothesline and tag in Barry.

Windham hits a clothesline of his own and we take a break. Back with Barry superplexing Benoit for two as Saturn makes the save. Off to Curt for his usual, only to miss a charge in the corner. The hot tag brings in Saturn but he has to fight off all four Rednecks. Hennig rakes the eyes to get out of the Death Valley Driver but gets caught in the Crossface, drawing in the Rednecks for the DQ.

Rating: C. The match was ok while it lasted but I’m getting tired of these heel groups that keep interfering to end matches. We had it for years with the NWO and now we have it with the Triad and the Rednecks. I’m glad that they’re giving so many people something to do, but come up with something fresh. Also, did a six and a half minute match really need a commercial?

Malenko tries to make the save but gets beaten down as well. Instead SHANE DOUGLAS makes his return and cleans house. He grabs the mic and says these guys are the backbone of the company and won’t be held down like he was for years. Where he comes from, if someone is trying to stop your career, you bash them in the head with a stop sign. He’s going to take the cancer out of WCW starting tonight. Hopefully this lights a fire in the old vs. new story even though it’s already dying of frostbite from being so cold. Also, when Shane Douglas is your best hope, you might want to just pack it in now.

Nitro Girls.

Clip of Hogan winning the title last week.

Road Wild ad.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Hollywood Hogan

Hogan is defending of course. Heenan doesn’t think these two have ever had a match before. Even Hudson corrects him, saying they may have but not in a WCW ring. They circle each other for a bit before Sid drops outside. Back in and Sid shoves the champion down before Hogan does something similar, though Sid doesn’t go off his feet. A test of strength goes nowhere and Sid is sent outside again.

We’re almost four minutes into the match already and a LOUD boring chant starts up. Back in and Sid kicks at the recently injured knee but Hogan blocks a weak ram into the buckle. A bunch of right hands have Sid reeling and Hogan rains down ten punches in the corner. Hogan rakes the eyes but can’t slam him with the bad knee giving out. Sid grabs a chinlock before wrapping the knee around the post, but the TNT feed goes out for ten seconds for no apparent reason.

We come back without the announcers acknowledging the break so I can’t imagine it was intentional. Back in and Sid puts on a cobra clutch of all things but lets it go and boots Hogan down, only to miss a legdrop. Hulk Up time and he slams Vicious, only to have Nash come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Here’s the current dilemma for WCW: their options range from trying something “new” with Nash vs. Savage and having the matches be disasters or trying something old with Hogan vs. a monster, which will be more tolerable due to Hogan being able to do that match in his sleep, but still nothing we haven’t seen a thousand times. Yes those are our only two options, because we’re not getting anyone new in the main event anytime soon.

Sting comes in for the save until Rick Steiner comes in to beat Sting down. Goldberg FINALLY returns and cleans house, sending the villains to the floor for a big staredown to end the show. Of course Nash is totally cool with Sid, who was involved in attempting to murder him about a month ago.

Overall Rating: D. I know I said they needed to get back to something more basic, but could they move past 1988? We’re really sitting through Hogan vs. tall monsters and Sting vs. Flair in 1999. That’s in addition to all the lame celebrity appearances and the ridiculous amount of factions. This wouldn’t be so bad if there wasn’t an army of young talented guys that are just spinning their wheels in nothing feuds while the old guys do whatever they feel like doing because no one is going to tell them no.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s Turkey Day so here’s the most famous wrestling turkey (?) of them all: the Gobbledy Gooker himself, Hector Guerrero.

Hector started off in regional promotions in California in 1973 but we’ll pick things up when he’s a bit more established in Memphis on January 18, 1981.

Gypsy Joe vs. Hector Guerrero

Joe is a legendary brawler who nails Hector before the bell. He rips Guerrero’s ring jacket off and hammers him against the ropes as this is one sided so far. Choking in the corner has Hector in even more trouble and Joe keeps it up on the mat. All brawling so far. Hector is launched to the floor before he comes back in with a single right hand. That’s the extent of his offense though as Joe pounds him down in the corner again before biting at Guerrero’s head. Hector finally nails some chops but Joe plants him with a slam for two. Back up and Hector grabs a sunset flip out of nowhere for the surprise pin.

Rating: D. Total squash until the end here which isn’t really surprising given that Joe never had much lasting success. I always like it when a wrestling surprises a brawler and wins in the end like he did here, especially with a move that catches the guy out of nowhere. Guerrero would have some success around here but didn’t stay around long.

Off to Florida with a match in the CWF at some point in the first half of 1984.

Hector Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotundo

This could be good. Windham and Rotundo are the US Tag Team Champions but I think this is non-title. The Guerreros come out with mariachi music, sombreros and a big Mexican flag. Barry hammers on Chavo to start but Windham gets caught in a headlock. Off to Hector as Oliver Humperdink goes on a rant about the history of tag team matches originating in America.

Mike comes in and takes Hector down with a headlock but gets countered into a headscissors. Back to the much smaller Chavo for two off a snap suplex but everything breaks down for a minute. That goes nowhere as the Guerreros take over on Rotundo, only to have him cross body Hector for two. Mike finally gets over to Windham for a tag as the biggest man in the match takes over.

A suplex drops Hector for two before it’s back to Chavo for some right hands. That’s fine with Barry as he clotheslines both guys down to take over on Chavo again. They hit heads to put both guys down as everything breaks down again. Dick Slater sneaks in with a swinging neckbreaker to Windham on the floor. Another guy comes out to explain what happened and the match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad as you had four guys that could work a solid match out there at the same time. Hector and Chavo were just so much faster than almost anyone else they fought and they became an attraction as a result. They would take the titles from Windham and Rotundo eventually, though I’m not sure if it was in this reign.

Off to Jim Crockett Promotions now with the team appearing in the 1986 Crockett Cup.

Crockett Cup First Round: Sheepherders vs. Hector Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

The Sheepherders are the Bushwackers as CRAZY heels. Believe it or not there’s a match later on with them in it that Meltzer gave five stars, so they weren’t exactly the same team. Joined in progress with Butch pounding on Chavo but the guy with a famous brother escapes with speed moves. Off to Luke who pounds away even more but gets caught in a sunset flip for two.

Moderate tag brings in Hector and the announcer says we’re at ten minutes in. Abdominal stretch goes on but the Herders won’t quit cheating. Butch is knocked out of the ring as the flag bearer (Rip Morgan) is dropped for a BIG pop. Not that it matters as a double clothesline to Hector ends the Guerreros at just under three minutes shown of about 11. I’m sorry for the lack of ratings but at 15 minutes into the tape I’ve gotten through a two minute intro and five matches. What can I really do here?

Here’s a one off tag match from Starrcade 1986.

Hector Guerrero/Baron Von Raschke vs. Shaska Whatley/Barbarian

Whatley and Barbarian are members of Paul Jones’ Army while Guerrero and Raschke are kind of an oddball tag team. It’s a big brawl to start with the Baron pairing off with Whatley as Hector sends Barbarian out to the floor. Hector and Shaska start things off with Guerrero hitting some fast paced offense for early control. It’s off to Barbarian though to drop Hector throat first across the top rope, stopping his momentum cold.

Barbarian misses a running boot into the corner though and falls to the floor, allowing Hector to hit a BIG dive, taking out both Barbarian and Baron. That was a very big deal back then and still looks good even today. Whatley comes out to beat on Hector before throwing him inside for a gorilla press slam by Barbarian. A double backdrop puts Hector down for two and Whatley breaks up a potential hot tag to Baron.

Back to Barbarian for another near fall off a big boot followed by a backbreaker. Whatley sends him into the ropes and Hector spits right in his face, which is somehow enough for the hot tag off to the Baron. Raschke puts his Claw Hold on Shaska as everything breaks down. Barbarian breaks up the hold but gets pummeled in the corner by Hector. In the melee, Shaska misses a charge into the corner and Baron drops an elbow for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a basic tag match here which was fine for the most part. There was talk of a grudge coming in but there was not actual explanation given of what the feud was over or how everyone was involved. Baron seemed much more angry than Hector but that’s normal for the both of them. Nothing bad here but it’s just a tag match.

From the 1987 Crockett Cup.

Crockett Cup First Round: Jimmy Valiant/Lazer Tron vs. Shaska Whatley/Teijho Khan

Tron is Hector Guerrero in a mask. Clipped to him working on Khan with a dropkick and it’s off to Whatley. The ring is cleared so Tron and Valiant dance a bit. The heels collide as they look like idiots. Valiant comes in and the fun part goes away quickly. Valiant vibrates on the mat as he’s beaten down and Whatley dances some more. Back to Tron who cleans house but the other guys brawl as he’s covering Whatley. Whatley charges at Tron and Khan pulls the top rope down so his partner goes crashing, but it’s a DQ win for them as the referee thinks it was intentional. Only a minute clipped here but not enough to grade.

Later in the 1980s, every promotion not called the WWF realized they were in big trouble. They banded together under the name of Pro Wrestling USA for a lot of supercards. Here’s a match from one of their shows on March 5, 1988.

Hector Guerrero vs. Keith Hart

Hector is the heel here for a change and his partner Buddy Landel is on commentary. A quick headlock puts Keith down but it goes about as far as you would expect. Guerrero rides him on the mat before shoving him away, only to take his eyes with the boot. A shoulder drops Keith but Hector flips out of a backdrop as Landel makes racist jokes about Mexicans. Hector drops him with a vertical suplex but misses a splash.

Back up and Hector slowly punches him down before choking while holding a hammerlock. Keith comes back with a horrible looking back elbow so Hector takes him down again. Guerrero starts a Sharpshooter but leans forward for a cover instead. The referee isn’t pleased with him being in the ropes though so we get a quick argument, followed by a flying forearm to give Guerrero the pin.

Rating: D. Keith was worthless here and it was clear that Hector didn’t have much to work with. Thankfully they kept this short with Hector just beating the tar out of him for the most part. It didn’t help that Keith was botching stuff here while I had to listen to Landel’s heel schtick.

Off to the AWA at SuperClash III.

Chavo Guerrero/Mando Guerrero/Hector Guerrero vs. Rock N Roll RPMs/Cactus Jack

WCCW vs. CWA. I’ll list the companies for every match for the sake of sanity. Chavo is of course the senior version and Mando is the least known Guerrero. Hector is a dead ringer for Eddie and arguably better. The RPMs are the southern tag champions and are named Tommy Lane and Mike Davis. That Jack guy won’t ever amount to anything. He was a total rookie at this point and almost the Abyss of his day: the guy that would take any bump asked of him so here he is as a result.

The Guerreros all have big sombreros and are about as stereotypical as you can get. Capetta (announcer) says this is AWA vs. CWA and that’s just incorrect. Actually the Guerreros were in the AWA also so I guess it’s correct. Granted both companies would be dead in a year so does it really matter? Hector starts and makes the RPMs look like idiots. Off to Jack and Mando (barely taller than the top rope) with the Guerreros being so much faster it’s unreal.

They hit the floor and Jack actually gets beaten up even worse out there. Back to Hector and they work on the knee before Chavo, the oldest, comes in. Wait make that Mando. Oh and it’s Cactus Jack Foley at this point. The Guerreros tag in and out about every 8 seconds. Jack wants out of there badly and brings in one of the RPMs who I don’t think the announcers know the difference between.

The RPMs finally double team Chavo and that goes even worse for them and it’s off to Hector. The Guerreros get in a big pile on and clear the ring. Jack vs. Chavo now and Jack finally gets something together. Off to Davis as it’s pretty clear the announcers don’t know the RPMs’ names. Off to Davis again and never mind as it’s Jack now. Hot tag to Hector and everything breaks down again. There’s some heel miscommunication and the camera misses the big dives but you can hear the crowd gasping. A moonsault press from Chavo ends Lane.

Rating: C+. Total squash here and a way to get the crowd fired up with the Guerreros doing stuff no one had ever seen before. The speed stuff was good as they looked like an awesome team out there. The dives were good and they made the fans get into the show, which is exactly what the point of an opener is.

After a run in Smoky Mountain and the infamous Gobbledy Gooker period, it was off to WCW for a quick run. Here he is on Nitro, November 4, 1996.

Hector Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Hector is Eddie’s older brother and possibly even more talented. He’s also a dead ringer for Eddie if you just glance at him. I’ve often gotten them confused until I took a good look. Flair has had his surgery and Anderson is out with a back injury. On Saturday, Benoit said Sullivan is no longer the man he used to be. Sullivan pops up and says he’ll hurt Benoit in Baltimore. He’s actually talking about a house show.

Hector speeds things up and hits almost a Vader Bomb from the top rope out to the floor onto a standing Benoit. Benoit’s shoulder is still taped up. Hector works on the arm and mixes up the attack on it, because Hector Guerrero is smarter than most wrestlers. He goes to take the tape off and we take a break. After an NWO t-shirt ad, we come back to Benoit hitting a knee to put Guerrero down.

He draped Hector over the top rope with a release suplex and Guerrero is in trouble. Benoit works over the ribs and hooks an awkward abdominal stretch. Hector is basically crouched down and Benoit is bending over. Benoit hammers him down as Tony hypes up how amazing the second hour is. There’s the explosion. Hector grabs a small package for two. Guerrero speeds things up and uses a rolling tumbleweed style cradle for two. Woman breaks it up which isn’t a DQ. Benoit grabs a rollup via the distraction and uses the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another long match which again works. Benoit could move better this week which is a nice perk. Hector wouldn’t be around that much I don’t think so this was really just to avenge Eddie I guess. Nothing that great but they were moving well out there and the psychology worked so big points for that.

Another Nitro match on July 22, 1997.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hector Guerrero

Hector takes him down with a headscissors but a dropkick misses. Eddie starts stomping but we head to the floor for a chase. Back in and Hector uses a side roll to roll Eddie around the ring about four times for two. Eddie comes back with some biting but another headscissors sends him to the floor. Hector hits a big plancha on the floor but back inside, Eddie powerbombs him down and hits the Frog Splash for a fast pin.

Rating: C. This is the same problem I’ve mentioned before: Hector is a talented guy, but other than his name, he doesn’t mean much to most WCW audiences. I get what they were going for here with the sibling rivalry thing but it’s hard to care here because Hector isn’t a guy we know as far as his stuff in WCW goes.

One more match on this show from Nitro, August 4, 1997.

Dean Malenko/Jeff Jarrett vs. Hector Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

Malenko and Chavo start things off and we hit the mat very quickly. That doesn’t last long so they run the ropes a bit until Dean gets taken down by a pair of dropkicks. Hector comes in to face Jeff and we have a strut vs. dance battle. A headscissors puts Jarrett down and frustrates him so he pounds away a bit. Hector makes a brief comeback but stops to jaw with Dean, letting Jeff take over again.

There’s the running crotch attack to a 619’d Hector (I’m still looking for a better name for that) before it’s back to Malenko. Make that back to Jeff again and Hector gets two off a backslide. Chavo breaks up the Figure Four and Dean is rolled up for two. Hector won’t tag and is caught in an electric chair. Dean hooks the Cloverleaf and we’re done.

Rating: C. The idea here was that Hector wouldn’t tag, presumably due to stubbornness, but it doesn’t make Jeff any more interesting. The guy is just flat out not interesting no matter how you try to push or package him. Malenko was fine but he needs to get away from this stupid tag team thing.

One more WCW match from Saturday Night on October 4, 1997.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Hector Guerrero

Eddie and Rey are feuding but Hector says he isn’t his brother. Then he tries to pull Rey in to start before taking him down with a headscissors. A nice spinout armdrag sends Hector outside and Rey follows him with a suicide dive. Guerrero slams him down on the floor before working on Rey’s back in the ring. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two but Mysterio grabs a victory roll for the same. Guerrero gets two more off a running splash but Rey fires off right hands to break up a superplex attempt. A top rope West Coast Pop is enough to pin Hector.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it worked well enough. You had Rey flying around like only Rey can do and Hector basically wrestling the same kind of style that Eddie was going to. This was a nice warmup for the masterpiece at Halloween Havoc a few weeks later.

We’ll wrap it up with the only Gooker match, from Wrestlemania X7.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, The Goon, Doink, Kamala, Kimchee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang (He couldn’t fit into the Akeem gear), Gobbledy Gooker (complete with video from Survivor Series 1990), Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim (biggest reaction of the entrants), Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Take eighteen of the goofiest gimmicks of all time, throw them in a match, have fun. I thought this was awesome when I was 13 and it’s still awesome to this day. The entrances take nearly three times longer than the match but that’s beside the point. Repo Man is put out in about two seconds as is the Gooker. Quake puts Tugboat out before Kamala throws him out as well.

People are thrown out right and left with Doink being eliminated to a chorus of booing. The final four are Brother Love, Slaughter, Hillbilly Jim and the Sheik. Within about 12 seconds it’s down to Sheik and Jim with Sheik winning because he can’t go over the top to the floor. This was like three minutes long and it worked just fine all things considered. Slaughter puts Sheik in the Cobra Clutch post match.

Hector Guerrero is an incredibly talented guy who was overshadowed by his brother’s success. That being said, Hector is still a guy who kept steady work for the better part of thirty years as an active competitor before joining TNA as a Spanish commentator. He’s very smooth in the ring and you can see so much of Eddie in him and vice versa.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 8, 1999
Location: Jefferson County Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the last show before Bash at the Beach and things have gone from boring to completely insane. Thankfully this is one of the live shows which are usually far better, especially than next week’s episode where it will have been taped before the PPV, meaning they can’t spoil anything. Let’s get to it.

The announcers recap Sunday’s main event tag match.

Clips of the main event stuff from Monday which is still disturbing.

Here’s Big Kev with something to say. He’s been looking at the video from Nitro and is now sure that Sting was in on it. Therefore, using his power as champ, he’s making Sunday’s tag match a title match, meaning anyone, including Sting, can pin him for the title. Why they don’t just make it a four way is beyond me but seeing how much they can screw this up should be interesting.

Dean Malenko comes into the Oval Office and yells at Flair for breaking up their PPV match due to a bad back. Flair says it’s from carrying this company for the last twelve years. Anderson and Malenko bicker for a bit before Flair says that Dean may be the Man of 1000 Holds, but he’s not Ric Flair. Point to the Nature Boy.

Clip from Nitro of Eddie’s hunt for a thief.

Lenny Lane vs. Eddie Guerrero

Lodi’s sign: “If you can read this, you ARE NOT from Alabama.” They lock up to start and Lenny bails to the corner for a hug. Back in and Eddie fires off punches and uppercuts followed by a pair of dropkicks. Eddie throws him into the corner but gets backdropped to the apron, kicking the referee down in the process. With the referee down, the luchadors Eddie forced to unmask on Monday come out to beat Eddie down, giving Lenny the fluke pin.

Rating: D+. Thank goodness this is for a story, but you can see that Guerrero isn’t going to get any higher up the card than being the big star who is stuck in the Cruiserweight division. The story is interesting and ties back into the LWO stuff (in a way), but Eddie should be higher up the card than he is and that’s just not happening.

Jimmy Hart is in the back and invites La Parka and Silver King to join the Hardcore Invitational on Sunday.

Disco is in the ring with Gene and talks about his match on Sunday with Ernest Miller. Why they’re fighting isn’t made clear but Disco makes Mr. Miyagi and Tae-Bo jokes before promising a Brooklyn, New York beating.

Van Hammer vs. Al Green

They fight into the corner to start until Green grabs a slap to take over. Hammer throws him across the ring in response and clotheslines him out to the floor. That goes nowhere so Hammer kicks him in the face for two. The Alabama Slam and cobra clutch slam is good for the pin on Green. This was nothing.

Rick Steiner runs in and beats Hammer down post match.

Jimmy Hart tries to get Horace into the junkyard as well.

We get the Bret video from Monday.

Most of Bret’s promo from Monday.

Brian Knobbs vs. Fit Finlay

Finlay jumps him to start but is quickly sent to the floor and into the steps. Jimmy Hart (he’s a busy guy tonight) gets in a few cheap shots of his own but Finlay is able to reverse a whip into the barricade. He sends Brian into the post and goes for a table, drawing in Hugh Morrus and Jerry Flynn for the DQ.

Regal, La Parka, Silver King, Horace and Dave Taylor all come out to brawl. Remember people, this is to preview a match in a junkyard. Like, a real junkyard.

Gene is in the ring with Flair and all of his associates. Piper talks about Peter McNeley (a guy Mike Tyson knocked out in 30 seconds) making Bagwell look good this coming Sunday. Buff asked for the match (no he didn’t) because Piper would kill him in a wrestling match. Flair talks about his match with Dean being canceled (despite it never being announced on the main shows) so instead, Dean gets a US Title shot. That’s quite the punishment. If Dean loses on Sunday, Gene gets a night with Asya. Ok then.

Rap Is Crap video.

This Week in WCW Motorsports, now with Ricky Rachman.

Disco Inferno vs. Kidman

Kidman scores with a quick dropkick and clothesline. His Fameasser is countered though and Disco nails a clothesline of his own. A wristlock goes nowhere so they head outside as we hear that Regal is now in the junkyard match. That match sounds like it could be so bad that it’s amazing.

Kidman scores with a dive but Disco grabs an atomic drop back inside, only to charge into a boot. You know you would think a match with these two would be a bit more entertaining. Kidman hits a high cross body and the Low Down for two. Cue Sonny and the Cat as Kidman gets two off a top rope bulldog. Not that it matters as Cat kicks Kidman with the red shoe for the disqualification.

Rating: D+. Every time they get close to giving me something to care about, we get something like Sonny Onoo to screw it up. What happened to Kidman anyway? Oh that’s right: this company is more about screaming HOOTY HOO than having Rey and Kidman tear the house down every night. Also, can we get a match to break five minutes tonight?

Disco lays out Cat post match.

The Triad comes out and says they’ll win on Sunday because Benoit and Saturn have never come close to beating them.

Chris Benoit vs. Kanyon

This HAS to be better. Kanyon goes after him in the corner but gets taken down with chops. Benoit runs him over again but Kanyon rakes him in the eyes. That’s fine with Benoit who snaps off a suplex to send Kanyon rolling out to the floor. We get a chase around the ring with Kanyon getting in first and stomping on the Canadian, only to eat more chops as a result.

They head outside again but WAIT A MINUTE. Jimmy Hart has gotten Mikey Whipwreck into the junkyard match. We’re still not done with anything but the match as Tenay talks about Team Madness going insane in the back because they can’t be on camera. Kanyon suplexes Benoit on the floor and takes him back inside, only for Benoit to fire off more chops.

Back up and Kanyon headbutts him down, setting up a middle rope Fameasser for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Benoit fights up, only to have his powerbomb countered into a sitout version from Kanyon for another near fall. Kanyon heads up top, only to get caught in a superplex to put both guys down. Back up and Benoit starts rolling Germans, only to get drilled in the face with an elbow.

Cue Bigelow with a title belt but Benoit whips Kanyon into the big guy to knock him off the apron. Chris loads up the Swan Dive but gets shoved off by Bam Bam. Now Saturn comes out to even things up but gets whipped into the barricade. Benoit hooks the Crossface but has to avoid Bigelow’s flying headbutt. A dropkick puts the big man outside again and the Crossface makes Kanyon tap.

Rating: B-. The interference was a bit much but they let two talented guys have a good match for about ten minutes. It’s not the best match in the world or anything but after the hour and a half that I had to sit through put this just a step below Steamboat vs. Flair. Kanyon hasn’t been busting out much new stuff lately but he’s still different enough to stand out in the sea of brawlers in WCW.

Page comes out and the Triad lays out Benoit and Saturn to make sure they don’t lose any heat.

Here’s Megadeth’s performance from Monday to waste about five minutes.

Curt Hennig vs. Konnan

Konnan has to chase Bobby off the apron to start before kicking Curt in the ribs to break up a test of strength. A bulldog and dropkick put Hennig down as well, meaning we at least get some great selling. The less famous Windham interferes to give Curt control with all of his usual. Konnan comes back with the rolling clothesline and X Factor, only to have Hennig throw him outside. A huge brawl breaks out on the floor as Konnan hooks the Tequila Sunrise, only to have Barry come in with the cowbell to give Hennig a cheap win.

Overall Rating: D-. Well let’s see. Eddie loses to Lenny Lane, one match broke five minutes, the show long story was Jimmy Hart adding people to the junkyard match, despite no affiliation with the guy running it, multiple matches for Sunday were either added or changed, and about a fourth of the show was spent on videos from Nitro. Someone remind me why this show exists.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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