Ding ding ding. It’s JBL.

JBL got his start in 1990 so we’ll pick things up with him in 1991 in the GWF as John Hawk against Mike Lane.

John Hawk vs. Mike Lane

Hawk hammers away to start and rips away at the arm. Lane bails to the floor as this is one sided so far. Back in and Lane grabs a headlock before trying some shoulder blocks to no effect. We take a break and come back with Hawk easily winning a test of strength. A big boot sends Lane to the floor again for some major stalling.

Hawk finally gets tired of waiting and pulls Mike to the apron for a belly to back suplex. Back in and Hawk misses a charge in the corner and gets his arm worked over a bit. Lane hammers away as the match drops in intensity. The bad arm is sent into the buckle again and we hit a hammerlock.

We take another break and come back with Hawk hitting a dropkick and shaking his arm a lot. Lane calmly snaps the arm across the rope to take over again, even though the announcers want to know why he’s not going for Hawk’s bad leg. Hawk fires off some right hands and a hard shoulder, only to have someone named Cowboy Mantell hit him in the back to give Lane a cheap pin.

Rating: D+. This would have been much better if they had cut out about five minutes. Lane wasn’t much and I’m pretty sure Hawk was the face out there, which is always odd when the monster is a good guy. It doesn’t help that this is in Texas where a cowboy is always going to be over, even though another cowboy interfered.

After several more years in the indies, mainly in Texas, Hawk would head to the WWF as Justin Hawk Bradshaw. One of his first major matches was at In Your House 10, with some famous interference.

Justin Hawk Bradshaw vs. Savio Vega

This is fallout from about five minutes ago on the pre-show. Bradshaw is a big Texan and a newcomer who hasn’t lost a match yet but is mad that he can’t get a spot on the pay per view. He attacked Savio after his Free For All match so a Caribbean strap match was quickly made. It’s the touch all four corners variety again and remember if your momentum is stopped, you lose any corners you’ve touched. Savio charges in but gets taken down with clubbing forearms and some shots to the back with the strap.

Vega is knocked to the floor and choked up against the post but he manages to pull Bradshaw shoulder first into the steel. The most interesting part of the match is a local independent wrestler throwing beer on Savio and slamming the can into his own head. This would be the Sandman, an ECW mainstay with his cohort Tommy Dreamer next to him. Philadelphia was ECW’s home base and this was near the peak of ECW’s popularity. The theory was this being a shoot but it turned out to be the two companies working together. Paul Heyman, ECW owner, can be seen holding them back as security takes them out.

Back in and Bradshaw hooks a headlock on Savio and gets three buckles before Savio makes the save before the fourth. Some HARD strap shots to the back have Bradshaw down and Savio gets three buckles as a result before Bradshaw pulls him down to reset the score. A spinwheel kick puts Bradshaw down again but he makes the save after two corners this time.

Bradshaw takes him down with a big boot and a HARD clothesline to get three corners but just like in the first strap match with Austin, Vega follows along and gets them as well. Bradshaw makes the mistake of pulling on the strap though, sending Savio into his fourth buckle for the win.

Rating: D. So remember the Austin vs. Vega match where there was a ton of drama and hard hitting shots which got people into the match? None of that applies here. This was paint by numbers stuff which wasn’t anything interesting at all and was only interesting because of the ECW stuff. Nothing to see here.

Bradshaw would soon become part of the New Blackjacks with Barry Windham. The team didn’t do much but they would be in a fourway #1 contenders match at Wrestlemania 13.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.

Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.

Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.

With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.

Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.

Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.

Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.

After doing a lot of nothing for the rest of the year, Bradshaw would be put in a feud with Jeff Jarrett as part of the NWA Invasion. They would have a match for the NWA North American Title at In Your House 20.

NWA North American Title: Bradshaw vs. Jeff Jarrett

Bradshaw, the native Texan and challenger, chases the NWA (Cornette, Jarrett, Rock N Roll Express and Barry Windham, Bradshaw’s former tag partner) to the floor to start. The NWA save for Cornette is quickly ejected to make this as fair as possible. Bradshaw throws Jarrett back inside and whips him with his chaps to start before chopping Jarrett down over and over. A big boot to the face staggers Jarrett and a clothesline sends him to the floor.

Bradshaw makes the mistake of going after Cornette though and Jeff gets in some kicks to the chest to take over. There’s a middle rope dropkick from Jeff for two and Cornette gets in some choking of his own. The choking only ticks Bradshaw off and he rolls up Jarrett for two. The referee yells at Jarrett though, allowing Cornette to blast Bradshaw in the bad knee with his tennis racket.

Jeff goes after the knee but gets crotched on the top rope. Bradshaw’s superplex is blocked but he catches Jeff in a fallaway slam to put both guys down. There’s the powerbomb to Jeff but Bradshaw pulls Cornette into the ring, allowing Jeff to hit Bradshaw in the chest with the tennis racket for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not as bad of a match as some of them and the Texas man helped get the fans interested but this still didn’t do much for me. The NWA angle was little more than a way for Vince to make fun of the organization and make them look like nitwits. The match was nothing special either with a basic knee story which went nowhere.

Bradshaw would become your run of the mill brawler and get a fight with Vader at In Your House 24.

Vader vs. Bradshaw

This is falls count anywhere and no holds barred for no apparent reason. Bradshaw pounds him down into the corner to start and takes him down with a clothesline. A slam and an elbow drop get two for Bradshaw but Vader runs him over and works on the leg. Vader gets two on a splash but Bradshaw kicks him in the face and clotheslines him over the top. The ring bell goes upside Vader’s head and Bradshaw adds an elbow drop for two. Bradshaw accidentally punches the post a few times though and Vader slugs him down.

Some shots to the back with the steps would look to have Bradshaw in trouble but he shrugs them off and fires off right hands back inside. Bradshaw misses a clothesline and falls out to the floor where Vader rams him into various metal objects. Back in and the middle rope splash gets no cover for Vader but the Vader Bomb gets two. Bradshaw comes back with two hard clotheslines and a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D-. This would be better as a regular match but as an anything goes match this was nearly a disaster. Vader was done at this point and it was very clear in this match. Just two years ago that Vader Bomb was beating Shawn Michaels and now a midcarder is kicking out at two. This was Vader’s last PPV appearance which is the best thing for everyone.

Soon after this, Bradshaw would find the story he’d been looking for: a tag team with Farrooq called the Acolytes. They would team together on Raw, February 1, 1999.

Al Snow/Road Dogg vs. Acolytes

Roadie is Hardcore Champion if you’re looking for an explanation for the pairing. The brawl starts on the ramp and it’s a hardcore match. Snow has a table rammed into his head and this is a big mess from the bell. Bradshaw throws in the steps and Road Dogg has a pencil. Snow and Farrooq fight into the crowd and the others join them. They fight to a concession stand and Snow goes into a barricade. They head outside and Snow hammers on Farrooq who has a garbage can over his head. Roadie and Bradshaw have a table in the ring while Viscera appears in the back to slam Snow. Bradshaw powerbomb Dogg for the pin.

Rating: C. Fun match but the ending was exactly what you would expect it to be. These matches are for fun for the most part and the thrown together team did a lot better than you would have expected them to do for the most part. The Acolytes were still getting the hang of what they were doing.

The team would win and lose the Tag Team Titles in the spring before getting a rematch against the Hardy Boys at Fully Loaded 1999. The match was so one sided on paper that the Hardys, the champions coming in, would need Michael Hayes helping them to make it a handicap match.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Hardys/Michael Hayes

Yep it’s a handicap match. At this point I had zero clue which was Matt and which was Jeff. We start in the aisle where they just leave the belts. Who would have thought two of these four would win world titles? I don’t think this has started yet. According to Ross it has. Ah there’s the bell so Ross was wrong.

We have Farrooq and Jeff in there to start while Bradshaw beats up both guys on the floor. Matt takes out everyone with a top rope moonsault. They really were great fliers back in the day. Hayes is pretty freaking worthless here but what did you really expect? The APA takes over with just power. Matt picks to tag Hayes. Why in the world would you do that? We get a Freebird reference so I’m good for the night. There’s Jeff. Crowd is DEAD for this.

I think Lita helped them a good bit to say the least. The Hardys simply aren’t that good at this point. Bradshaw gets a nice belly to back suplex off the top. Not bad. Jeff clocks him with Hayes’ cane over the head. Poetry in Motion is still very much a work in progress here. Hayes comes in and a double powerbomb gives the APA their titles back. Edge, Christian and a ladder would be coming soon.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like it at all. Hayes was just in the way here as he’s old and most of the people here don’t know what he used to be nor do they care more than likely. The Hardys would dump him maybe the next night. Either way, the APA would lose the belts to Kane and X-Pac two weeks later so this was just to get Hayes out of the Hardy picture.

The team would be part of the Corporate Ministry for the rest of the year while losing the belts in the process. They would receive another shot at Fully Loaded 2000.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. APA

I miss Edge and Christian’s old entrance where the camera flies all over the place and looks for them and they’re in the entry way like normal wrestlers. Edge insults Dallas sports teams which makes me hate them quite a bit. They insult the Kennedy assassination before setting up for flash photography but the APA and their awesome music cuts them off. Bradshaw threatens to put his boot in their ears. Ok then.

He actually uses the term cheap heat. That came out of nowhere. He defends Texas by saying how many titles they’ve won. That just makes him sound like a geek. I didn’t know FTS was more commonly known as Bradshaw. Farroq gets a great step shot in on Christian right off the bat.

This starts off as little more than a squash as Bradshaw just freaking murders Christian. Edge and Christian finally get some offense in as they get the advantage on Bradshaw. I like how they use such generic offense to stay in a match for as long as they can until they can hit a much bigger move. That’s a nice little way to do something. It lasts for all of a minute though as the APA dominates again.

We hear for about the 12th time that Bradshaw is from Texas. Seriously, WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT TEXAS??? With the Acolytes hitting their finishers, Edge goes to the floor and grabs a belt. He gets the referee’s attention and nails Farrooq with it for the DQ. I kind of like that as it plays them holding the belts even longer. The same time though, it makes them look ridiculously weak and since they were known to keep stealing wins like that, it’s rather stupid also.

Either way it was ok I guess. Post match the champions are beaten down even more which for some reason means we should talk about the Rock? That makes no sense but at least they saved it for after the match ended, unlike WCW who likely wouldn’t have acknowledged the match going on at all.

Rating: C. It was really short and pointless but it was never dull. That’s the best thing here: they kept moving the entire time. That’s always a plus as it kept things interesting and made you want to keep watching. I really don’t like the whole cheating to keep the belts thing as it makes them look quite weak, but that’s fine I guess as it fits them to the letter. However at just over five minutes they didn’t have enough time to get anything going so it’s about as average as you can get overall.

Occasionally Bradshaw would get some singles matches, including this one at Insurrextion 2001.

Bradshaw vs. Big Show

Odd again. All of these European shows have a bad case of strangeness to them. How weird is it to think that Bradshaw would be a more important world champion than Show? Those chops Show did were freaking insane. EMTs come out to take care of Test. A flying shoulder just looks cool. There goes the referee.

Show goes after Test when he’s trying to leave which of course doesn’t work. A big boot into a steel chair and the Clothesline From JBL ends this with Bradshaw winning it for NO explainable reason. Dude it’s 2001 and Bradshaw beat Big Show. What freaking sense does that make?

Rating: C-. Not bad for a big man fight. The booking is bearable I guess as it’s a show no one is going to see or hear about for months. This was just your standard battle of the big men which usually works pretty well. This was fine for what it was I guess but REALLY short, even for one of these shows.

Back to the tags with the Acolytes getting a Tag Team Title shot on Raw from July 9, 2001 despite not doing much as a team for awhile.

Tag Titles: APA vs. Dudley Boys

Apparently Spike is going to be out for awhile with a broken leg. The APA clears the ring to start and we get down to Bubba vs. Farrooq. Off to Bradshaw as the Dudleys take over. The reverse 3D gets two. D-Von pounds on him and it’s off to Bubba. He goes to the corner for the ten punches but gets powerbombed out and both guys are down. Off to Farrooq and D-Von with Simmons getting a spinebuster for two. 3D doesn’t work but What’s Up does to Farrooq. Bubba goes for a table but Spike comes out, hits Bubba with the crutch and throws him in where Bradshaw’s Clothesline gives the APA their third tag title.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but I guess the idea here is that if the APA is leading the WWF’s army so give them something to make them seem important. That’s not a terrible idea actually and it’s better than another boring Hardys vs. Dudleys feud for the 7000th time. Not a terrible match and it did its job I guess.

Bradshaw would be a fairly big deal during the Invasion and fight the Alliance every chance he got. This included challenging for the European Title on October 22, 2001’s Raw.

European Title: The Hurricane vs. Bradshaw

Hurricane keeps doing his posing and Bradshaw keeps knocking him down. Out to the floor and Molly glares at him. Hurricane tries a dive but Bradshaw….”catches” him I guess you could say, in a fall away slam. By that I mean he tries to and drops Hurricane down on the floor. Back in the ring and Hurricane hits a superkick but it can’t even put Bradshaw down. Suplex is countered by Bradshaw and both guys are down. A neckbreaker puts Hurricane down and Molly dives at Bradshaw which goes as well as you would expect. There’s the fall away slam for her and the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the title. Too short to rate but it was nothing.

We’re going to skip 2002 and most of 2003 as the former was spent mostly on Hardcore Title matches (Bradshaw won it 17 times in three months) and injuries. The Acolytes would be back at No Mercy 2003.

Basham Brothers vs. APA

This is about the APA hurting the Basham’s manager Shaniqua. The Bashams are named Doug and Danny, which are the names of my uncles so I’ve always liked this team. Bradshaw is blonde here which doesn’t work for him at all. He and Doug start things off but it’s off to Farrooq quickly. Off to Danny who has no luck, just like his brother. Were they brothers? I know they really aren’t but were they on screen? I’m not sure.

Doug gets in a shot to take over but his splash hits Farrooq’s knees and a brawl breaks out. Cole and Tazz get into a stupid argument as the Dominator is escaped. The Bashams hit a double belly to back suplex for two and Farrooq is in trouble. Bradshaw runs in to try to help his partner, because doing it a minute ago worked oh so well.

Off to a chinlock to eat up a few minutes until Farrooq hits a spinebuster and makes the hot tag. Bradshaw cleans house and hits the powerbomb for two on Danny. Everything breaks down and it’s Last Calls (fall away slam) all around. There goes the referee and Bradshaw hits the Clothesline. Shaniqua comes in and hits Bradshaw with a club of some sort for the pin.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t terrible I guess, but what in the world was the reason to give this nine minutes on PPV? Also why did we have to see Shaniqua in a dominatrix outfit? The match should have been on Smackdown or cut in half, but that’s the danger of single branded PPVs. The Bashams were the flavor of the month on Smackdown while the APA would split in March.

Now let’s change pace a bit as the APA would break up due to Farrooq retiring, leaving Bradshaw in need of something new. He would have his entire gimmick changed to John Bradshaw Layfield, a Wall Street tycoon. Somehow this resulted in him becoming #1 contender to the Smackdown World Title with his shot coming at Judgment Day 2004.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero

JBL runs down the Mexicans in the crowd pre match. He’s in blue here which is weird looking for some reason. Eddie hammers away to start and we hit the floor almost immediately. JBL tries to run up the ramp but Eddie catches up to him. We’ve been in the ring about 12 seconds out of the two and a half minutes they’ve been fighting for. Back to the ring now and it’s been ALL Eddie.

Out to the floor again and JBL manages to send Eddie into the steps to break the momentum a bit. They tease the announce table a bit but instead we go back into the ring for more brawling. Eddie gets some punches but a big boot takes him right back down. Cole: JBL’s stock will go way up if he wins this match. That was so corny that it was almost not bad.

An overly long headlock goes on as JBL keeps control. After that finally gets broken up Eddie tries to speed things up, only to walk into a fallaway slam on the floor to get us back in JBL control. Backdrop puts Eddie onto the Spanish Announce Table and we go right back into the ring. This is going way too slowly here. Another slugout follows but Eddie walks into something like a hot shot for two.

Off to a bearhug now as this continues to go way too slow. I get that JBL is a slow guy but this is getting a lot of time and that makes for a boring match more often than not. Eddie escapes and tries to speed up a bit, hitting Three Amigos. Clothesline From JBL and a powerbomb both miss and there goes the referee. JBL is sent to the floor and we go to the table again.

JBL caves Eddie’s head in with a chair shot. FREAKING OW MAN! Oh sweet goodness Eddie is bleeding a freaking gusher. Steps to the head as Eddie is reeling. There is blood all over the ring. Clothesline From JBL kills Eddie dead but there’s no referee. Another referee slides into the lake of blood and gets a two count for JBL. The third attempt at the Clothesline drills the second referee. Dude, shouldn’t the referee that has been down for five minutes get some help?

Huge powerbomb by JBL gets only two as the fans are WAY into this now. The blood isn’t flowing off his head not but is only dripping. Sleeper by JBL which is rather smart here but a suplex gets Eddie out of it. Eddie does his dance thing and here he comes again. Crowd is losing it over this. Fallaway slam is countered into a DDT just like the F5 from Lesnar was at No Way Out.

Eddie tries to crawl to the corner for the Frog Splash as it’s amazing that he’s not dead at this point. Ok maybe that was a poor choice of words. The fans almost gasp at the idea of the Frog Splash but it misses anyway. Bradshaw grabs the title which he puts behind his back and a chair. The referee sees the chair but not the belt. Eddie kicks him low and drills him with the belt for the DQ and the fans aren’t happy at all.

Rating: B. This was a good match at times but you can cut off the first 8 minutes or so and no one would notice it at all. The blood is INSANE and if you have a weak stomach you should stay far away from this one. The ending hurts it a lot as they could have done either a fluke pin or simply stopping it for the blood. Either way, the ending hurts this one a lot and considering it wasn’t a classic in the first place, that’s not good.

Eddie massacres him post match and hits him with a big old chair shot to bust him open too. Oh wait he was bleeding off the belt shot. Another chair shot and Bradshaw is more or less dead. Eddie chases him down for some more as JBL is taken away.

The non-finish would require a rematch at Great American Bash 2004.

Smackdown World title: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Yes, the concrete match is going last. This is no DQ, unless you intentionally unhook yourself. There’s a bell on the rope of course, because we’re wrestlers so we all want to be cowboys! Eddie goes for the leg and chokes him out a bit with the rope. That bell is getting really annoying really fast. They have these stupid lights on the corners because just counting the number of corners for each guy is too much for Nick Patrick.

Both guys get two corners but they get their momentum broken up. The rope goes around Eddie’s neck and there’s a bell shot to put him down. Bradshaw puts him in the Tree of Woe and chokes him upside down as Eddie is in trouble. Here comes the Spanish Announce Table but Eddie blocks a powerbomb through it. Cowbell to the head puts JBL down and it’s Eddie in control.

JBL sends him over the table again but Eddie CRACKS Bradshaw over the head with a chair. Oh yeah he’s busted too. That’s enough for Eddie to get three corners but JBL breaks it up enough for the fourth to not count. Patrick says the momentum is broken, meaning the streak is broken. Eddie gets three corners again and again JBL grabs the rope. After a JBL DDT, Eddie crotches him with the rope and gets three buckles but the streak is broken.

Three Amigos hit and Eddie adds a frog splash for good measure. In a REALLY smart move, JBL rolls to the floor to stop the fourth corner from being touched. Smart because Eddie can’t drag him from the floor like he could in the ring. They go to the top and JBL hits him with the bell. He wraps the rope around Eddie’s neck and throws him onto the announce table which doesn’t break. Cole says it’s like rock or concrete. These jokes write themselves at times.

A powerbomb puts Eddie through the table and both guys are down again. Somehow that only gets three corners back in the ring. JBL gets three corners again but takes a cowbell low to stop things again. Since this is a four corners bullrope match, we get the only ending that ever happens in these things: they both get three and the good guy dives to touch the fourth one just in time.

Rating: B. Pretty solid brawl here but at the same time these matches get really repetitive after awhile. It becomes wrestler A gets a few corners, then wrestler B gets a few corners, then we reset things. The brawling in between that was pretty solid stuff though so I can’t really complain here. At the end of the day though, this gave us JBL as world champion. Here’s why.

Angle comes out and shows us the replay, which shows that when Eddie dove at JBL, it knocked JBL into the buckle first, which means he’s champion. This would go on until Wrestle-freaking-Mania.

JBL’s title reign would last into the new year, including a triple threat defense at Royal Rumble 2005.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

After losing the belt and a rematch to John Cena, JBL would go after the other World Title at Summerslam 2005 against champion Batista.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

JBL pounds him down into the corner and whips Batista with the timekeeper’s belt. The choke with the belt goes on longer than any human would be alive but Batista fights out and whips JBL with the belt as well. Batista hits the corner shoulders but charges into a boot and JBL’s Clothesline is good for two. JBL brings in the steps and loads up a powerbomb off of them, only to be backdropped down instead. Batista hits the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover. Instead he picks up JBL again and powerbombs him onto the steps for the emphatic pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all and the ending was never in doubt. It’s just over nine minutes and about a minute of that was spent on JBL choking Big Dave. JBL was the main event jobber at this point which meant he was ok at best. Batista was still the biggest star in the company at this point but Cena was rising fast.

JBL would get back into the midcard after this, with a shot at the US Title coming at Wrestlemania XXII.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and takes over with a quick headlock. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold but can’t get the Crossface this early. Back to the headlock by JBL but Benoit gets his back and pounds on the challenger’s neck. The Sharpshooter is broken up very quickly and Jibbles heads to the floor. Back in and Benoit avoids a charge in the corner and lays out Bradshaw with the Rolling Germans. The champion loads up the Swan Dive but JBL crotches him to escape.

JBL cranks up the heel by doing Eddie’s chest slap. A superplex puts Benoit down but only gets a very delayed two. There’s the Eddie dance and JBL hits Three Amigos to HUGE heat. Benoit knees his way out of the third Amigo and pounds away, only to get kicked in the face for two. Off to a lame chinlock (his hands aren’t even locked) by JBL but Benoit suplexes his way out. Now Chris hits Three Amigos to a solid ovation before doing the chest slap. Now the Swan Dive hits for two and Benoit counters the Clothesline into a Crossface attempt, but JBL rolls onto his back and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Just like the opener this was pretty meh but JBL was an awesome heel here. The part of this that sticks in my mind though is Benoit hitting that headbutt. After it hit he was grabbing his skull and was clearly in pain. Every time I see him hit something like that I cringe a little bit more and wonder if that was the point of no return.

JBL would lose the title a few months later and then take nearly two years off due to a back injury, wrestling only once in between. One of his first matches back would be at the 2008 Royal Rumble against Chris Jericho, who JBL had cost a title shot in December.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Feeling out process to start with JBL hiding in the corner and ropes a few times. Jericho forearms him down and pounds away but gets sent to the floor. That doesn’t last long as he slides right back in and hooks the Walls but JBL immediately grabs the rope. A baseball slide keeps Jibbles on the floor where he is sent into the steps. Back in and Jericho charges into a hot shot to put both guys down.

A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for the most part. Jericho didn’t work at all as a face with the short hair during this comeback and I think everyone knew it. Thankfully he would turn heel over the summer and have the feud of the year with Shawn. The ending to this sucked and I don’t think they had any other matches after this.

JBL would of course feud with Cena a bit more, including a parking lot brawl at Great American Bash 2008.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is in “the parking lot” and likely was taped earlier today for the most part. JBL is in a shirt and tie and has a crowbar. He takes the tie off at least. They have the circle of cars set up and a referee out there. Something metal hits the ground but we don’t know where it was from. Now a car turns on and Cena drives it at the car JBL is standing on. Ok now it’s on.

Cena chokes him with jumper cables. Then he slams a car hood on him. Now he jumps JBL’s balls. That would kind of, um, KILL HIM. Cena picks up an oil drum and chucks it at a car which JBL tries to escape in. Bradshaw gets in some shots but nothing significant. They knock a car door off. Cena went through it so JBL takes over. Powerbomb on a car gets two. Cena gets dropped on the top of a car for two.

Cena goes through a window and isn’t busted open. Did they hit the blood quota earlier or something? This is really dull by the way. Cena is knocked down then thrown into the back of a car and JBL goes to get a gas can out of his limo. He covers the car with the gas and throws a lighter on it. Uh yeah I’m done here. They put it out but JBL is stealing a forklift. Cena gets out and Bradshaw is mad.

They brawl even more and Cena takes over, throwing JBL into a car then into a car. Cena gets the forklift and spears the car. He lifts the car up and drives the forklift into the arena. JBL gets beaten up on the stage. There’s the Shuffle and Cena loads up the FU. Instead of flipping the fool like a clam shelled cellular phone, he walks towards the car and JBL escapes and throws Cena off the stage into the windshield for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This had nothing to do with wrestling. It was bad, whatever it was. They got WAY too ridiculous here and I’m sure the fans loved seeing a total of maybe three minutes of this live. They were setting up JBL as the next challenger to Punk and Cena moved onto Batista, but this was still bad.

One of JBL’s final stories would be buying Shawn Michaels when Shawn was broke due to the financial crisis. This resulted in JBL getting a World Title shot against Cena at the 2009 Royal Rumble with Shawn being required to help him win.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

After losing the blowoff to Shawn, JBL would head back to the midcard again and chase the Intercontinental Title. We’ll wrap it up with his title shot on Raw from March 9, 2009.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. CM Punk

These two had issues a few months back when Punk first won the World Title. A hard shoulder gets two on the champion but he comes back with kicks to JBL’s legs. Punk jawbreaks out of a sleeper and hits the running knee against the ropes. JBL bails to the flor to avoid the bulldog so Punk hits a suicide dive to take him down. We take a break and come back with Punk in a bad looking abdominal stretch. At least pull back on the thing John.

The fall away slam gets two and some hard forearms to the back have Punk in even more trouble. A big right hand stops a Punk comeback attempt but he fights out of the corner with a tornado DDT. Punk gets sent to the apron but comes back with the springboard clothesline followed by the knee and bulldog for two. The GTS is loaded up but Punk takes too much time turning to the hard camera, allowing JBL to rake the eyes. The Clothesline is enough to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but I’ve missed heels using basic moves like a rake of the eyes. It’s such a simple way to look evil and it works wonders. Not everything has to be some run-in to distract a guy for a rollup finish and this is proof. Unfortunately modern wrestling writers don’t get that and we’re stuck with the same stuff over and over again.

JBL would lose the title to Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania 25 in about 40 seconds before quitting in a big fit. I’ve heard him call that the perfect way for the character to go out and I can’t say I disagree. Overall JBL is a guy that totally overachieved and found the perfect character for himself. It’s another example of a guy doing his best when he’s allowed to play an exaggerated version of himself, which is a lesson that a lot of wrestlers and bookers should learn.

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Turn it up. It’s Brian Christopher.

Brian got his start in his dad’s promotion in Memphis in the late 80s. We’ll pick things up with Christopher in a tag team called the New Kids on February 2, 1991.

New Kids vs. Fabulous Ones

Tony Williams of the New Kids dropkicks Stan Lane down to start as Cornette is running his mouth on commentary. Referee Miller is kicked down by Lane the Karate Master so it’s off to Christopher. Brian superkicks Steve Keirn down for two and Cornette is losing it. He goes to manage as Keirn can’t figure Christopher out. A backdrop finally puts him down so it’s off to Lane who gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two. Off to Tony who is slammed down with ease.

Jim is back on commentary to make the match that much better. The New Kids keep trying for a fast win because they can’t go man to man vs. the Fabs. Keirn slams Tony’s head into a chair on the floor and it’s back inside. Tony gets between Stan’s legs and makes the tag to Christopher. The Fabs double team him again and it’s back to the outside. Keirn is illegal and piledrives Miller for the DQ. It was a DQ at times and at times it wasn’t so it’s hard to keep up with.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but this is how you give someone a rub. The New Kids weren’t proven yet so having them hang in there with a famous team like the Fabulous Ones and even pick up a win here is a great way to make the New Kids look a lot better. The Fabs couldn’t pin them which is a major key. Not a great match, but a good rub.

Christopher would become a big deal as a heel in 1993. Here’s a match from that period on February 13, 1993.

Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

Luger and two other guys that I don’t recognize are here with Christopher. Brian says there’s no need for Lex to be here for this one but then he changes his mind. Ok then. There are no apron curtains. That’s not something I’ve seen outside of a tiny indy company. Lex sits in on commentary for this. There can’t be more than 150 people at this. Ever heard me say someone is stalling like a man from Memphis? Here’s a good example of something like that.

First contact: 63 seconds in. Christopher keeps shouting to Lex how awesome he is but in a sucking up way, not an evil way. Second contact: 100 seconds in. We’re over two minutes in and we’ve had two tieups and that’s it. Ok from what I can find, Christopher is also the Texas Champion. Jeff finally has enough and pops Brian in the face with a right hand. We finally get going as Brian hits a clothesline and stomps a bit. To be fair, Memphis was far more based on egging on the crowd than the in ring action.

A backbreaker gets two for Christopher. He misses an elbow though and Jeff grabs a rollup for two. How weird is it that these two would reach their biggest successes as totally different characters? Christopher as a dancing idiot and Jarrett as a self-obsessed heel. One of the guys that came out with Christopher grabs Jeff’s leg but he manages a DDT to Christopher anyway. Not that it matters as the other guy comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. These matches are hard to rate as there isn’t much action in them, but like I said there isn’t supposed to be. These were two fairly big names and two acts that were over as a face and a heel, which is really all you can ask for. At the same time though, there’s barely any wrestling and it was all set up for the ending, which is ok, but it’s still nothing to see.

After several more years in Memphis, Christopher would debut in the WWF as Jerry Lawler’s mentee. He would enter the fledgling Light Heavyweight division and have a match at In Your House 17.

Scott Putski vs. Brian Christopher

Putski is the son of WWF Hall of Famer Ivan Putski while Christopher is the son of Jerry Lawler. However Lawler hasn’t admitted to this yet, but instead is saying he’s a big fan of Christopher and has helped him win matches. An immediate Jerry’s Kid chant starts us off, which Lawler writes off as a reference to Jerry Lewis’ Labor Day marathon. Putski gets in the first shot and drives Christopher into the corner before tossing him out to the floor.

Back in and Brian grabs a headlock before clotheslining him down with ease. Scott comes back with a hurricanrana for two but gets caught in a full nelson leg sweep faceplant (the Skull Crushing Finale or Chris Jericho’s Breakdown) gets two. Jerry: “That’s my boy!” JR: “What?” Putski falls to the floor and Brian follows with a nice dive to take him out again. The fall seems to have injured Scott’s knee and Brian wins by countout.

Rating: D. I’m thinking there was something to that knee injury as there was no reason to end the match so soon. It didn’t last that long and I have no idea why this was on a pay per view. Putski is a good example of a guy who had a great look but had the big problem of being his father’s son. His dad Ivan was a popular wrestler and there was no way Scott could live up to his reputation.

Brian would enter a tournament for the restored Light Heavyweight Title, making the finals at In Your House 19.

Scott Putski vs. Brian Christopher

Putski is the son of WWF Hall of Famer Ivan Putski while Christopher is the son of Jerry Lawler. However Lawler hasn’t admitted to this yet, but instead is saying he’s a big fan of Christopher and has helped him win matches. An immediate Jerry’s Kid chant starts us off, which Lawler writes off as a reference to Jerry Lewis’ Labor Day marathon. Putski gets in the first shot and drives Christopher into the corner before tossing him out to the floor.

Back in and Brian grabs a headlock before clotheslining him down with ease. Scott comes back with a hurricanrana for two but gets caught in a full nelson leg sweep faceplant (the Skull Crushing Finale or Chris Jericho’s Breakdown) gets two. Jerry: “That’s my boy!” JR: “What?” Putski falls to the floor and Brian follows with a nice dive to take him out again. The fall seems to have injured Scott’s knee and Brian wins by countout.

Rating: D. I’m thinking there was something to that knee injury as there was no reason to end the match so soon. It didn’t last that long and I have no idea why this was on a pay per view. Putski is a good example of a guy who had a great look but had the big problem of being his father’s son. His dad Ivan was a popular wrestler and there was no way Scott could live up to his reputation.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Christopher vs. Taka Michinoku

This is a tournament final to determine the new champion. The title had actually been around for years but was only defended in Mexico and Japan while never being mentioned in American. Christopher plays to the crowd before we get going but scores with a quick slam to take over. An armdrag puts Taka down again as the Jerry’s Kid chant starts up again. Taka flips out of a German suplex and takes Brian down with a pair of kicks to the face and a clothesline to send him out to the floor. A HUGE springboard dive off the top takes Christopher out again and fires up the crowd a bit.

Brian crotches Taka on the top rope as they come back in and a dropkick sends Michinoku back to the floor. Taka avoids a dive off the apron to send Brian into the barricade but misses a cross body back inside to give Christopher control again. Now it’s Brian’s turn to miss a charge, allowing Taka to hit a tornado DDT for two. A hurricanrana sends Brian to the floor again and a top rope moonsault takes him out. Lawler goes to help his son back inside but Taka dropkicks Christopher right back down.

Back inside and a pair of dropkicks put Brian down again but Taka gets caught in a full nelson legsweep. There’s a sitout powerbomb by Christopher but he poses too much, allowing Taka to grab a rollup for two. A missile dropkick to the back of Taka’s head puts him down again and a backbreaker gets two.

Brian stays cocky by slapping Taka in the face over and over (Jerry: “Just like I slapped Andy Kaufman!”) before clotheslining him down for two. Now the release German suplex connects but Brian takes forever to cover. Instead it’s a powerslam to put Taka down but Christopher misses the top rope legdrop, allowing Taka to hit the Michinoku Driver for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Really basic match here but it made sense to put the belt on Taka at first. Christopher was just a guy who happened to be in the weight division and never fight the style at all. The match wasn’t bad or anything but the division never worked nearly as well as the company hoped it to.

Christopher would soon hook up with his long term partner Scott Taylor to form Too Much. Interestingly enough, they were going to get the Billy and Chuck gimmick but Christopher wouldn’t go for it. Instead they got to fight Al Snow and Head at King of the Ring 1998.

Too Much vs. Al Snow/Head

Yes Head, a mannequin head, is Snow’s partner. Too Much would later be known as Too Cool. We kept hearing about Snow wanting to stay but it wouldn’t work. Snow kept getting in trouble but blaming it on Head. That’s smart at least. This is in the video recap but I don’t feel like going back and editing this to make it right. Head stole the crown and they get a meeting with Vince if they win tonight.

Scotty looks weird with short blonde hair. Christopher looks stupid no matter what. Snow is in the back and Lawler talks to them and he makes fun of them and it goes nowhere. This is pre cool music but post peak of Snow’s powers. There are however a bunch of guys with Styrofoam heads bobbing them back and forth though. Jerry is announced as the guest referee to make it three on one. Oh sorry. Three on two.

Snow’s talented enough to count I guess. Oh oddly enough, Snow used to be a character called Avatar, a genie. How sad is it that Snow is more talented than all three heels combined by about 100 miles? Taylor tags in Christopher, only a master sexay at this moment I guess. Lawler has his crown on by the way. More or less this was designed to let Snow show off, which really was a good idea and something they needed to do more often.

Snow reaches for a tag and Christopher bites his hand. I’m not sure if I want to see him in the indys or not. He was terrible in the mainstream so how bad were they in a territory based company. Ross wonders who picked Lawler as the referee. My guess would be a combination of the writing team and Vince McMahon but what do I know?

I love that wheelbarrow suplex that Snow likes to use. Snow tags in Head and Ross has lost it. Snow covers Taylor as Lawler goes to the announce table and grabs something. Christopher covers head with a bottle of Head and Shoulders for the pin. Oh it was to make sure that the shoulders were down.

Rating: D+. Well it was a cute idea I guess and Snow got to show off out there, but seriously, Too Much being on my screen more than 5 minutes just makes my head hurt so this just failed completely for me. This wasn’t much and it was really just a comedy match so take it for what it is I guess.

The team wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year and then would miss a good chunk of 1999 due to injury. One of their first major matches back, now with Brian as Grandmaster Sexay and Taylor as Scotty Too Hotty, was at Survivor Series 1999.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, The Hollys
Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

This is just after the Hardys and the Canadians had the first tag team ladder match which would launch them into stardom soon after. Too Cool is still stupid here, as opposed to later on when they would be stupid and WAY over. The Hardys have Terri with them which wouldn’t last long. Edge and Scotty get things started as Jerry talks about Scotty’s pants. They chop it out in the corner before things speed up a bit and Edge spinwheel kicks him down.

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to hits a big dive to take out everyone that was already on the floor with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Crash Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

We’re promised an update on Austin at the end of this match because THIS MATCH of all things is more important than a guy being hit by a car. Off to Grandmaster whose bulldog is countered and he goes flying so far that he kicks the camera, giving us a cool visual. Off to Hardcore vs. Edge who starts spearing a lot of people. Grandmaster stops to dance and is immediately speared down. In the big melee, Hardcore rolls up Edge for the pin. Fifteen seconds later, Scotty hits a top rope DDT to eliminate Matt, making it 4-2.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match which gets two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

So it’s Crash/Grandmaster/Hardcore Holly vs. Jeff and Christian. JR goes on a rant about Austin as Christian and Jeff try some Poetry in Motion, but Hardcore comes off the top with a missile dropkick in a SWEET looking counter. Grandmaster adds a guillotine legdrop for the elimination. Christian immediately hits a reverse DDT on Grandmaster to get us down to Christian vs. the Hollys.

JR continues to brood and want an update about Austin. Jerry needling him makes me chuckle as he’s awesome at being a jerk. Crash beats on Christian for a bit before it’s off to Hardcore again. Back to Crash who gets caught in the Unprettier/Killswitch for the pin. Christian tries a victory roll on Hardcore but Bob (Hardcore for you schmucks out there) falls on top for the final pin.

Rating: C+. The problem here was that the pairing that this should have been based around, Edge and Christian and the Hardys, were on the same team rather than getting to tear the house down against each other. The other two teams didn’t mean anything and the ending of this sucked. Once the Dudleys got involved with the brother teams, it was all gravy for almost two years.

Too Cool would get Rikishi as their big enforcer around this time. The act was so popular that they moved pretty far up the card, including main eventing the February 7, 2000 episode of Raw in a major ten man tag.

HHH/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Cactus Jack/The Rock/???/???/???

Before the bell rings, Rikishi and Too Cool come out to even the odds. It’s a wild brawl to start and I’m not even going to try to call it. Rock and HHH are fighting on the ramp as Benoit and Cactus head into the crowd (DANG that could have been an awesome feud). Stephanie is on commentary and the fans are blowing the roof off the place. Grandmaster and X-Pac get things going and Sexay misses a middle rope knee drop.

Off to Saturn and Scotty, the latter of whom has a bandage around his head. He loads up the Worm (with five hops instead of four) but Malenko interferes before Scotty can cover. A big old suplex puts Scotty down and Dean comes in legally. Scotty gets in a shot and brings in Rikishi who runs Dean over. Off to Benoit who charges right into a Samoan Drop. He can’t suplex Rikishi but Benoit pounds on his back and is all like oh yeah boy you’re going and suplexes Rikishi down.

Jack comes in and pounds Benoit down into the corner. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Jack goes for HHH and they head to the announce table. Saturn and Pac have to save HHH from death and we head back inside. HHH stomps Jack down in the corner and shoves the referee away. Off to Pac who almost immediately walks into a neckbreaker to take him down.

Hot tag brings in Rock and it’s spinebusters all around. Pac takes a Rock Bottom for two as HHH saves. Saturn kicks Rock down but Rock is having none of this Bronco Buster nonsense. Grandmaster hits the Hip Hop Drop but Pac gets up and kicks the goggles off Sexay’s head. HHH comes in again with the flying knee and it’s off to Saturn and Benoit for some double teaming.

Benoit suplexes Sexay down for two and it’s back to HHH. The heels are tagging incredibly fast. Grandmaster hits a double DDT out of nowhere on Benoit and HHH. There’s the hot tag to Cactus but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Grandmaster followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit for the pin.

Rating: B. This seems like a match where the crowd reaction carried it to a higher level which is fine. It’s certainly better than I remember but it’s not as good as I’ve seen some people make it out to be. Anyway, you could see the great matches coming and this would give Too Cool a nice push, resulting in their only tag title run a few months after this.

The feud with the Radicalz continued at Wrestlemania 2000.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

Remember that Tag Team Title run I mentioned? It started on Raw, May 29, 2000.

Tag Team Titles: Too Cool vs. Edge and Christian

Christian cranks on Grandmaster’s arm to start but Brian fights back with a missile dropkick. Off to Scotty for some dancing and a double clothesline. Time for the Moonwalk but Christian takes Scotty down with a spinwheel kick. Edge comes in and tries a powerbomb but Scotty botches the hurricanrana counter.

Instead he has to settle for a small package for two before it’s off to Grandmaster to clean house. His powerbomb on Christian works just fine before he and Edge fall to the floor. Scotty hits the Worm on Christian as Edge brings in a title belt. He’s knocked to the floor though and here’s Kid Rock’s midget friend Joe C. with a low blow, allowing Grandmaster to hit Edge with the belt for the pin and the titles in a big upset. The celebration is as low key as you can imagine.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see and I’m really surprised by how bored they seemed to win the belts. The title reign wouldn’t last all that long but this was a good example of the company listening to the crowd and giving someone popular a push. Too Cool winning the belts for a month wasn’t a stretch and the fans loved it. Everybody wins.

The title win would be the apex of the team’s run as they would fall down the card soon after and never recover. Scotty would get hurt so Grandmaster would have to fight on his own, including this match at Insurrextion 2001.

Grandmaster Sexay vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is one of Grandmaster’s final appearances with the company for reasons of suck I guess. Eddie lost the European Title to Matt Hardy of all people. It’s not like being European meant anything with only Regal and Bulldog being European. Eddie would be gone soon for drugs anyway so there we are. This is a very hot crowd with one Phoenix being in attendance. Yeah he was the other request.

Eddie doing the Sexay dance is hilarious to say the least. I think Eddie was supposed to be champion here as he lost it like a week earlier. Grandmaster, how do you freaking suck so much? Your dad is a legend and you’re just a freaking joke. And that’s being nice. He’s like an annoying indy gimmick that isn’t sure what his gimmick is. The crowd is ALL OVER Eddie. That’s not bad. Grandmaster misses a…something and gets rolled up with Eddie using the ropes to win from nowhere. That was really abrupt.

Rating: D+. Uh what the heck was that? Seriously it felt like it was 3 minutes short or something. Also, what the world is the idea of using these two in a match? It’s just random as but whatever. Not bad I guess. Then again this is one of those British house shows called a pay per view so it’s to be expected.

Christopher would hit the indies, including main eventing the first WWA PPV, the Revolution in a tournament final for the World Title.

WWA World Title: Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

I’ve complained about Christopher enough so far. Christopher makes gay jokes about Jarrett to start but says he wants to death. Jarrett tosses him around to start and there’s the strut. Christopher comes back with a clothesline to send Jeff to the floor….and then he lowers his pants. A neckbreaker puts Jarrett right back on the floor as we’re firmly in a Memphis formula: do a move, play to the crowd a lot, then do another move and play to them more.

They fight into the crowd, and by fight I mean punch once and walk a lot, and we lose track of them. Brian gets a drink thrown in his face and Jeff chokes him a bit. We finally get back to ringside with Brian shaking off everything that’s been done to him so far. A charge misses in the corner and Brian gets crotched. Naturally, Jarrett poses. A cross body gets two for Brian and it’s off to a sleeper from Jeff.

After nearly two minutes of that, Brian hooks his own sleeper for a few seconds. A kick puts Jeff down and an enziguri (clearly missing by about six inches) gets two. Tornado DDT gets two more and they head to the floor. Brian superkicks a referee by mistake and we head back in. Christopher “hits” a guillotine legdrop for two from a replacement referee…and the referees start fighting. Jeff wins with a guitar shot and Stroke on the belt (there was a referee brawl in between the moves).

Rating: D. Standard match that really was a big brawl with some wrestling moves thrown in. In other words, the WCW main event formula minus five run-ins. Christopher was never believable as a main event threat here because HE’S FREAKING BRIAN CHRISTOPHER. Nothing to see here but it was probably the best match of the second half of the show.

It would be off to TNA after this with Brian appearing on the second show.

K-Krush vs. Brian Christopher

They keep swapping between calling his Brian Christopher and Brian Lawler. Christopher does his Too Cool dance to the ring and the NASCAR guys with him look at him like the idiot he looks like. Krush is the evil one here which I doubt was clear coming into this. He jumps Christopher to start but Brian comes back with a neckbreaker. A bulldog out of the corner gets two for Brian but a second results in him getting crotched on the middle rope.

Krush suplexes him down to take over again, getting a delayed two in the process. He does the backflip into the splits into the side kick spot that he uses today for two. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Brian fights up, I guess doing what you would call Cooling Up. An enziguri puts Krush down as does a Stunner but Krush hits an atomic drop to put him down. The NASCAR guys shake the ropes to crotch Krush and he falls right into position for the guillotine legdrop from Christopher for the pin.

Rating: D. This felt like a random match between two former WWF guys, and that’s not something interesting. At the end of the day, why in the world am I supposed to care about the guy best known as K-Kwik yells at some NASCAR drivers? Christopher without his Too Cool partners isn’t interesting either, at least not outside of Memphis. Nothing to see here.

And again at the tenth show.

Brian Lawler vs. Slash

Apparently this is a scheduled match for later but we’re getting it now instead. Slash knocks him to the floor and throws Lawler into the barricade before peeling back the mats. He loads up a piledriver on the floor but Lawler backdrops him down to prevent presumably death. Lawler knocks Slash down and we head up the ramp for a bulldog on the ramp by Lawler. Brian tries to get a chair from a fan but the fan won’t give it up.

Back in and Slash grabs a superplex for two, followed by what we would call the Eye of the Storm. Lawler comes back with a floatover DDT but stops to dance instead of covering. There’s an enziguri from Brian and there’s even more dancing. Both guys hit the other low (in front of the referee who is cool with this I guess) before Slash puts Lawler on top. Brian knocks him down and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t quite work because Lawler is really hard to care about. I have no idea if he’s a face or if he’s a heel here and the lack of clarity is really annoying after awhile. Also, the dancing thing is dead but he keeps doing it anyway because it used to work a few years ago. Slash and the Disciples of the New Church continue their free fall as well.

After several more years in the indies, Christopher would fall off radar for a good while. He would eventually return to the WWE on Old School Raw, January 6, 2014.

3MB vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

This is as obvious of a match as you can get. Grandmaster and Jinder get things going with Grandmaster scoring with a quick dropkick. Off to Scotty who is still in good shape but gets punched down by McIntyre. Drew misses a charge in the corner and the bulldog sets up the WORM. Slater robs us of our gratification though and 3MB takes over again. The announcers spend the entire match arguing over whether Too Cool can be called the Hip Hop Twins, thereby making the whole thing about them instead of the legends.

Scotty clotheslines McIntyre down and makes the hot tag to Rikishi who looks incredibly slow. He does manage a superkick to Mahal for two but Slater makes the save. Rikishi clotheslines two Band members down and the Hip Hop Drop takes out McIntyre. Mahal tries a sunset flip on Rikishi but gets sat on for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D+. The match sucked and the commentary was annoying, but this is exactly what modern nostalgia should be about. Too Cool is an act that’s old enough for people to reminisce but not old enough that they embarrass themselves in the ring. Nobody is hurt, the fans get to have a fun moment and everybody wins. Good stuff.

This appearance got Too Cool a surprise spot on the first NXT special called Arrival.

NXT Tag Titles: Ascension vs. ???

There’s an open challenge from Ascension tonight and their opponents are…….TOO COOL??? That’s a rather bizarre choice to put it mildly. Viktor slaps Sexay down to start and doesn’t approve of the dancing. Off to Konor for a hard legdrop and even harder shoulder blocks. Viktor slams Sexay down and puts on a chinlock before driving in elbows. I think the fans say they want water and then gum. Sexay finally fights up and makes the hot tag to Scotty whose offense has very little effect. He gets the bulldog and loads up the Worm, only to have Viktor pop up and run him over. Fall of Man ends Scotty at 6:40.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and Too Cool was the totally wrong choice for the challengers here. They’re a fun team who had a month long title reign FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. This is the problem with nostalgia: it’s fun to push every now and then, but when it’s pushed over teams that deserve the shots more, you’ve got a problem.

Brian Christopher is a guy who tried to get out of his dad’s shadow but only succeeded to a degree. His run in Too Cool is definitely the high point of his career and the crowd ate the act up. Brian’s talking in Memphis was great stuff but at the end of the day that act just didn’t work outside of the territory. Still though, he certainly wasn’t terrible and could fly well enough to get by.

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Today we’re looking at another what could have been: Alex Wright.

After working in Germany for a few years, the 18 year old Alex Wright would make his pay per view debut in WCW at Starrcade 1994.

Alex Wright vs. Jean-Paul Levesque

Levesque used to be known as Terra-Rizin but now is a French aristocrat character. Wright is from Germany, is 18 years old and loves to dance. Feeling out process to start with Levesque taking over via an armbar on the mat. Wright spins out and dropkicks Levesque down before breaking a wristlock the same way. Now Alex takes over with an armbar of his own before Levesque puts on a headlock. Wright counters into a headscissors in a sequence that works so well that they do it all over again.

Back to the mat for another armbar by Wright as this match is very basic so far. Then again both guys are rookies so they don’t exactly know how to work a long match yet. Levesque has enough of this wrestling stuff and punches Wright in the face to take over. Jean-Paul chokes away in the corner and takes Wright down with a spinwheel kick. A shoulder block gets a very slow two count for Levesque and he ducks a cross body to send Wright crashing into the mat.

Alex gets kicked in the head while on the floor as Heenan makes Hogan’s Heroes jokes. Levesque breaks up a sunset flip attempt via a right hand before putting on a chinlock. Wright fights up and hits another dropkick for two before being put in the chinlock again. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Alex down but Levesque misses a top rope elbow. Wright hits a quick backdrop but Jean-Paul gets up and they ram heads, putting both guys down. Alex flips over Levesque out of the corner and a rollup is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This was just ok and again there was no reason for this match to be happening. Wright continued to be a guy that WCW was moments away from pulling the trigger on for years to come. The really interesting guy here though is Levesque, who soon after this was offered a spot as Steven’s Regal’s tag partner. Thinking he had no future with the company, he was granted his release and signed with the WWF, who gave him the same gimmick (minus being French) and named him Hunter Hearst Helmsley, which he later shortened to Triple H. In other words, WCW had Triple H, Austin and Mick Foley (Cactus Jack) and let them all go. Think about that for a second.

Wright would get a nice push around this time, including a match on Clash of the Champions XXX.

Alex Wright vs. Bobby Eaton

Wright has wrestled a few times in WCW already and is billed as undefeated. He comes out to dance music and cuts a bit of a rug in the ring. Feeling out process to start as they trade arm work as the announcers talk about Wright’s recent victory over Jean-Paul Levesque, who would soon be known as Hunter Hearst Helmsley in the WWF. A big right hand sends Alex into the corner but he comes back with a headscissors followed by an armdrag into another armbar.

Wright pulls back a punch of his own but Bobby begs off so instead it’s a European uppercut for two. Eaton ducks a cross body to send Alex flying into the ropes and it’s off to a chinlock. Alex comes out of it with a jawbreaker followed by a backdrop. A spinwheel kick drops Eaton and a missile dropkick gets two. Bobby comes back with a swinging neckbreaker before loading up the Alabama Jam for a VERY close two. Wright quickly comes back with a suplex and cross body for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a better match than the opener but still just ok. Wright looked good out there and Eaton was very skilled at making others look better than they could have on their own. That’s the kind of hand you want to have around the company so they can help out with a guy like Wright when you don’t know what you’re getting. It’s nice to see someone young getting to shine a bit like this too.

Wright would get a TV Title shot at Slamboree 1995.

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Alex Wright

Wright’s song is as addictive as music in wrestling can be. And then you get the theme of the Horsemen so you can’t go wrong there. Wright is undefeated here. Bischoff is really annoying on commentary to say the least. And now we’re laying around on the mat a lot. Bischoff is clearly not ready to be doing a show like this but to be fair, he’s definitely trying and you can’t ask for much more than that.

Wright uses an STFU. John Cena stole a move from Alex Wright! (To the 5-6 people that will complain about me not knowing what I’m talking about and how Chono or whoever else used it for a long time, this is what we call a JOKE. I know Cena didn’t invent it and I know the real name of the move)

Wright was a guy that really could have been something if they used him right. It’s weird to say that but he really was pretty good. And all of a sudden Eric is talking about the Holyfield fight from the previous night? The heck? A BRILLIANT ending here as Arn pulls back for a punch and stops when Wright ducks, hooks the head and the DDT ends it. Love that.

Rating: D+. Not bad but nothing special at all. It’s ok I guess and fine for a TV title defense. Wright more or less was worthless for awhile after this though so either that was planned or they messed up. Either way, not terrible but nothing great or notable by any stretch of the imagination.

Wright would be on the second episode of Nitro against a pretty big name. Well outside of WCW at least.

Sabu vs. Alex Wright

Sabu has the music that would go to La Parka later on. This is an odd match to put it mildly. The man from Bombay (Michigan) of course does all kinds of insane spots while missing a good bit of them but whatever. Air Sabu hits the railing and we’ve been on the floor about 90% of this match. Back in the ring and Wright hits a GREAT missile dropkick and Sabu is knocked straight back to the floor. Heenan and Mongo argue coaching strategy which is really just killing time.

In a strange move, Sabu sets for a rana off the top but while he’s up there he sits on Wright’s shoulders and rolls forward to the mat so it was like a victory roll from the top. Nice one and it works for a pin. Post match Sabu puts Wright through a table and the decision is reversed.

Rating: B-. This was high spots a go-go and for this era, that was mind blowing. This wasn’t anything great but it certainly did work for what it was supposed to do: showcase a brand new kind of wrestling that you didn’t see otherwise in the mainstream. That’s what WCW was trying to do and it worked quite well.

Over the years Wright would team with Disco Inferno on and off several times. Here’s their first time together, as a random team at Slamboree 1996.

Battlebowl First Round: Dick Slater/Bobby Eaton vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Yes they’re future tag champions but that wasn’t until later so that’s excusable. Oh look: people that are complete opposites of each other. WHO WOULD GUESS THAT??? At least Eaton is a good wrestler so that’s a perk. You know, Disco Inferno is really impressive.

To have a pure comedy gimmick and put together a fairly decent resume (Cruiserweight Champion, TV Champion, Tag Champion) is saying a lot about him. He made a horrible gimmick into something which says a lot about him. We talk about Flair and Savage for the most part here. When Disco Inferno gets the hot tag, you know we have a problem. Disco starts dancing and gets blasted in the head with a boot. Yep that’s it.

Rating: N/A. At least it was fast. Seriously, someone thought this was a good idea? Why? What kind of drugs were they on? I want some of them.

Wright was getting better at this point and hanging in there against better competition, such as this match from Nitro on September 30, 1996.

Alex Wright vs. Dean Malenko

Dean has Rey’s mask which he stole recently. Tony tells everyone that the NWO is at the Marriott in Cleveland. This comes after Syxx could be heard ordering room service and saying the room number in the previous segment, making WCW all the stupider. After some feeling out processes, Malenko takes over with a belly to back as we take a break.

Back with Wright speeding things up and hitting a Japanese armdrag to take over. That doesn’t last long as they head to the floor where Dean takes over again. Dean works on the leg but Wright starts his comeback. He and Dean both miss top rope shots but Wrights grabs a cradle for the upset pin.

Rating: C. Decent match here and for TV, this was fine. Wright still never got the push that they always seemed on the brink of with him, although he’d win the TV Title sometime in 97. This wasn’t much but Dean would become Cruiserweight Champion again before too long if my memory is right.

Another match against another name far bigger outside of WCW, from Clash XXXIV.

Masahiro Chono vs. Alex Wright

Chono is a Japanese legend and a member of the NWO. Nick Patrick has officially joined the NWO and is referee here. Chono jumps Wright to start but gets rammed into the buckle a few times to slow him down. Alex moonsaults over him in the corner and drops Chono with an enziguri. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with Wright but don’t like Chono either so they’re not reacting to much in the match.

Chono comes back with a shoulder block and an atomic drop. Alex gets a small package but Patrick counts the slowest two in years. Chono throws Alex over the top rope but Patrick doesn’t really care. Wright comes back in with a top rope sunset flip, only to have Patrick hold his shoulder instead of counting. Alex smacks Patrick but misses a cross body, allowing Chono to hit his Mafia Kick (running boot to the head) for the pin.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was just ok but the story was more important here. Nick Patrick being the evil referee worked for awhile but that was only going to carry a story for so long. Chono had a great look to him and was very successful in Japan, but his NWO run in WCW wasn’t the most productive in the world.

Wright was on enough of a roll that he got a Cruiserweight Title shot on July 28, 1997’s Nitro.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Alex Wright

Jericho is defending here. The opening part of the match is ignored for the sake of house show ads as Wright slaps Jericho in the corner. They fight for arm control with the champion taking Alex to the mat. Those big stretches of empty seats in the crowd are kind of distracting. A spinwheel kick puts Wright down and out to the floor, causing the match to come to a halt.

Jericho dives onto Wright but gets suplexed down to change momentum. Wright stomps Jericho down in the corner but misses a top rope knee drop. The Lionsault hits Wright’s back but Jericho doesn’t cover. Wright goes to the apron and gets put in a sleeper by Jericho who is in the ring. Alex guillotines him down and hits a German suplex for the clean pin and the title.

Rating: C. This was an interesting match as you had Wright losing most of the first few matches after his turn before winning the title completely clean here. The fact that it was a clean pin helps, but I’m not exactly sure what the point was in jobbing him out the last few weeks to give him the belt here. Still though, not bad.

And the rematch from Road Wild 1997.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Alex Wright

Wright is champion. Feeling out process to start with Wright running to the ropes. The fans chant gay slurs at him as the feeling out continues. Jericho charges at Wright which gets him nowhere. Some chops and right hands put Wright down on the floor and we stall some more. Back in Wright grabs a headlock which is quickly broken and Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to send Wright back to the floor.

As Alex comes back in, Jericho crotches him and hits the springboard dropkick to send him to the floor for a third time. Jericho finally gets bored and dives out to the floor to take Wright down. Wright sends him into the steps to take over and adds a suplex on the outside. Coming back in, Jericho LAUNCHES him off the top with a slam which gets two. Off to a headlock by the challenger. He goes to the arm instead as things slow down.

Wright comes back and counters a leapfrog with another spinwheel kick. The champ dances again as Dusty says a win here could drive a stake into the heart of the NWO. Ok then. Alex takes forever to set up a moonsault and Jericho rolls away. Lionsault hits Wright’s back but he adds a senton backsplash before getting two. Jericho’s double powerbomb gets a delayed two. Wright grabs a suplex for two and Jericho counters the German suplex into a cradle for the same. Wright reverses a rollup into one of his own with tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was slow paced for the most part but it was ok. The ending however sucked and it keeps up with the running theme of the night: not a horrible match but it’s nothing that you would ever want to see again. It’s also not great but it could have been far worse. That makes it the worst kind of match: just ok and mostly boring.

Wright would lose the title later that month but receive a TV Title shot just over a week later. From Clash XXXV.

TV Title: Alex Wright vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon is defending after having taken the title from Lord Steven Regal back in July. He’s also a good guy now after getting rid of Sonny Onoo a few months back. Wright is fresh off losing the Cruiserweight Title to Chris Jericho a week earlier. Since Alex is now a heel, he tries poking Dragon in the eye but gets caught with a shoulder block for cheating. Dragon does his trademark headstand in the corner and kicks Wright away before firing off his kicks to the chest and thigh.

The champion stays on him with a hurricanrana but Wright powerbombs him down. There’s no cover though as he would rather dance, sending Heenan into a rant about Alex’s lack of focus. Alex hits a pair of backbreakers for two and we go to a break. Back with Wright getting another two off a top rope knee before they trade sleepers. A suplex from Dragon puts both guys down and they slug it out with the challenger getting the better of it. He heads up top where Dragon scores with a dropkick to knock Wright to the floor.

Dragon misses a plancha and crashes to the floor, only to pop back up and whip Wright into the barricade, setting up an Asai Moonsault. Back in and Wright counters a top rope hurricanrana into a superplex attempt but Dragon slams him into the mat to counter. A rollup gets two for the champion but Wright blocks a handspring elbow with an elbow of his own for two. They trade suplex attempts until Wright grabs his German suplex for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. Good match here as it had a significant amount of time to get things going. Wright kept letting Dragon get back into it through not following up before finally winning it in the end off a wrestling counter. Dragon was on fire at this point and while Wright was doing ok, this was a questionable decision.

After losing the title a few months later, Wright would fall down the card a bit but was still able to hang in there against bigger names, like in this match from June 22, 1998 on Nitro.

Alex Wright vs. Eddie Guerrero

The announcers are talking about the basketball players before the bell even rings. Alex takes him down to start and stomps away before dancing a bit. Eddie comes back with a jumping back elbow and some chops in the corner but Alex pokes him in the eye. A backbreaker allows Alex to dance a bit more and get a delayed two. Eddie dropkicks him down so Alex bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and a quick suplex gets two for Wright but he misses a top rope knee drop. Eddie comes back with the brainbuster as Chavo comes out to cheer. The distraction lets Wright grab a suplex for the pin.

Rating: D. This was mainly about waiting on Chavo to show up which is fine for a story but the match hasn’t been anything to see so far. Wright continues to be fun to watch and talented in the ring and Eddie is Eddie, but this match had nothing to it at all. It gets rather dull waiting thirty seconds between moves you know?

Wright would team up with Disco again soon after this on a semi-regular basis. They had a match on Thunder on August 13, 1998.

Dancing Fools vs. Public Enemy

Tokyo Magnum is with Disco and Alex. Rocco cranks on Alex’s arm to start as the announcers debate whether the match on Saturday was a street fight or a Sturgis street fight. Rock gets sent to the floor and sent into the barricade with a baseball slide. Back in and Rocco blocks a middle rope ax handle, only to be suplexed down again.

Wright of course stops to dance, allowing Rocco to get his knees up to stop a splash. Off to Disco vs. Grunge but Johnny quickly brings Rocco back in for a double flapjack. Everything breaks down and Rocco is thrown into Disco. A table is brought in but Tokyo Magnum takes the bullet for Alex, allowing Wright to pin Grunge off a neckbreaker.

Rating: D+. This is becoming one of those matches that I do not need to see ever again. We’ve pretty much gotten the same story every single times these four have gone at it and there’s no reason to see them tell that story one more time. The matches aren’t horrible but they’re rapidly losing the limited interest I had in them.

Wright would get injured and miss a good chunk of 1999. He would return as Berlyn, an evil German who wore black leather and looked like the killers in the Columbine massacre. He looked so much like them that his debut was postponed until Fall Brawl 1999.

Berlyn vs. ???

The replacement is Jim Duggan of all people. Berlyn jumps him in the corner and can’t put him down with a dropkick. Duggan starts a comeback after not being on defense for the most part. Clotheslines put Berlyn on the floor. Duggan massacres him for the most part. Remember that this is Berlyn’s debut. Berlyn hits a clothesline, Duggan won’t stay down. They slug it out and Duggan still won’t sell anything.

The fans want Flair and are rather patriotic at the same time. Off to a chinlock which Duggan at least sits still for, at least for a few seconds. Duggan fights up and stays on offense. Seriously, the guy won’t stay down more than like 2 seconds off any move. He does the whole nothing hurts him walk (as opposed to standing there and letting nothing hurt him) and dear goodness help me they’re trying technical stuff.

I think it would be a bit better to go out and watch a bunch of puppies get massacred. This is horrid and somehow gets even more boring. Another chinlock gets us nowhere because Duggan won’t sell anything, not even with facial expressions. Duggan hammers away even more and Wall pulls back the mats on the floor. A HORRIBLE neckbreaker finally ends this. Duggan was going to take it like a Stunner so Berlyn had to say “turn around” to end it. Horrid, horrid match.

Rating: G. As in GO AWAY DUGGAN. This was awful and the majority of that can be blamed on Duggan. If he won’t sell for Berlyn, how in the world can you expect the character to be taken seriously? Terrible match and oddly enough the second time this has happened to Wright.

Thankfully this character didn’t last long and after several more months off, Wright would return to his original character. He would team up with Disco on a tour of his home country of Germany, where WCW held a pay per view called Millennium Final.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

So the non dancers are the champions here, but Disco Inferno is hurt. Since we need to have a German win the belts though, we have Alex Wright teaming with General Rection for no apparent reason at all and he’s wearing a sweatshirt despite wearing tights in the previous match. Rection isn’t US Champion here as you saw a little bit ago but he’s announced as it and holds up a German flag. He and Jindrak start us off.

We hear that Wright has been inserted into the Triangle Match later on to qualify for the Europe Cup with Awesome and Nash. It’s weird but slowly and surely you get to understand German to an extent. Wright hits a sweet double nip up to get back up. That was awesome. They mention the Dancing Fools and Berlin but say tonight it’s just Alex Wright. Now why couldn’t we get this Alex Wright in America? This guy is freaking awesome.

The heels take over on Rection to set up the insanely hot tag that’s coming soon. The General looks like a fat Jeff Hardy. And we hit an arm bar ten minutes into the match. That fails to make sense but it’s WCW so whatever. The Seanton Bomb misses and there’s the hot one. Actually make that a slight fever one.

There was a tiny pop at best. And he’s getting beaten up now. This is already making my head hurt badly. I think Alex forgets to kick out of a rollup meaning that Mark has to just kind of let it go which looks completely stupid. Wright hits a missile dropkick from the top for the pin and the titles for him and Disco and a huge pop.

Rating: C-. Odd booking aside, this was all so that Wright could get a huge pop and that’s fine. He’s the hometown boy and he deserves a moment like this. I think it was mentioned on TV as a European match but Rection was never mentioned so there we are. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t anything worth watching either. It’s your standard TV match which is fine. Not a great match but a cool moment.

We’ll wrap it up there as Wright was barely used in WCW after that and only wrestled occasionally in Germany after WCW closed. He was a guy that always seemed on the verge of being pushed but never was. Wright had a good look and was more than athletic enough to do some good things in the ring, but it’s WCW so you know he wasn’t going to get past midcard status, just like dozens of other talented wrestlers.

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Today is a guy that was almost a big deal in WCW but they screwed up. Again. It’s Perry Saturn.

After being trained by Killer Kowalski, Saturn started in the Massachusetts’ promotion run by his trainer Killer Kowaksi. After a few years there and in the USWA, Saturn and his partner John Kronus came to ECW as the Eliminators. Here’s a match of theirs from November to Remember 1995.

Eliminators vs. Pitbulls

I haven’t seen a lot of the Pitbulls but they were very popular and pretty successful in ECW so this could be worth seeing. Francine in leather isn’t a bad thing to see as she manages them so this should be good. Oh and Jason manages the Eliminators. It’s weird to see Saturn with hair. The Pitbulls are known as #1 and #2. #1 has hair. Got it. He and Saturn start us off and the Pitbull (Gary Wolfe. #2 is Anthony Durante) shrugs off most of Saturn’s offense.

He tosses Perry into the corner and slams him. The idea of the Pitbulls were they were more or less Rhyno in leather and more athletic. Blind tag brings in Durante who gets a top rope elbow for two. Off to the other Eliminator John Kronus to face #2. Big power match here as Kronus hits a release Dragon suplex to take over. The Eliminators, the more athletic team, speeds things up a lot to take over.

An assisted moonsault takes out Durante but an elbow clearly misses. Thankfully Joey covers and says he moved, otherwise it would have looked awful. The fans are behind the Pitbulls as Kronus picks #2 up off a belly to back suplex. Kronus gets caught between the Pitbulls but Durante misses a splash in the corner and crashes to the floor. He’s bleeding from the elbow now.

Kronus is a lot fatter than I remember him being. Saturn comes in with that sweet high elbow drop of his (OH YEAH from Joey) but it only gets two. Saturn hits a corner rana which also gets two somehow. The Eliminators are a pretty new team so this is kind of their showcase match. Saturn tries to set up something on the ropes but a superbomb by Durante gets no cover.

Everything breaks down and Jason hits a legdrop on #2 to keep him down. Double tag brings in Kronus and Wolfe who cleans house. Double clothesline takes the Eliminators down and it’s a big brawl. Wolfe totally misses a spinwheel kick in the corner but Kronus sells it anyway. Double superbomb out of the corner ends Kronus and we’re done.

Rating: B-. This was a rather fun match. The botches make it a bit amateurish looking but at the same time this wasn’t exactly Gagne vs. Thesz out there. They would feud forever with the Pitbulls eventually losing their edge. Pretty good match though and the fans were into it the whole way (duh) so I can’t complain much here at all.

And another from House Party 1996.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

One more from Cyberslam 1997 as the team is moving up the charts.

Tag Titles: Eliminators vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

Eliminators are Perry Saturn and John Kronus who you shouldn’t know. This is a ladders/tables match which means they’re legal. You win by pinfall or submission and the Eliminators have the titles. Saturn talks about how awesome ECW is and how they’re going to Raw on Monday, which is true. This is on a Saturday (I think) and the ECW Invasion (not the Alliance one but a one night one) happened on Raw while the WWF guys were on a European tour.

This is a rematch apparently but Joey doesn’t tell us when the original match was from. The losers have to shake the hands of the winners. Van Dam and Sabu are heels here. Apparently the challengers have almost won the titles from this team before so this is an established feud. Saturn vs. Van Dam to start us off here. They hit the mat to start as there are tags here to make it seem like this is a regular match with rules for awhile.

They slug it out for a bit and a dropkick gets two for Van Dam. Sabu comes in but there was no tag so it doesn’t count. Off to Kronus who was good but not great. He gets Sabu now so this should be a bit faster paced. Saturn gets a modified Rock Bottom for two and Sabu works on the knee a bit. Half crab goes on so Saturn kicks Sabu in the head. I love using that as a counter. It’s so basic. Got a problem? KICK HIM IN THE FACE!

Sabu and Van Dam do some stuff that the Guns would later do in TNA but would do it a bit better and faster. A forearm by Kronus takes him and RVD out to the floor. Saturn and Van Dam fight for a ladder so the partners kick both of them, sending everyone to the floor. Kronus dives on RVD while Sabu and Saturn go into the crowd. Now the other pairing goes to the outside also as it’s a total brawl.

Saturn and Sabu are up by the….well by everything really as there was a lot put in one small area at these shows. Sabu gets a chair shot to Saturn back in the ring and the Triple Jump Moonsault hits Saturn as well. It’s ladder time and Van Dam hits a moonsault off the second rung of it, as in the second from the ground as the ladder was laid at an angle against the rope.

To the shock of no one, everything breaks down even though we’re still sticking with the corners. Nice to see them pretend that this has rules for awhile. Kronus hits a handspring elbow into the corner into Van Dam into the ladder. A ladder shot misses the challengers so they botch another attempt at it as the Eliminators keep control. This is threatening to get very sloppy rather quickly.

Kronus THROWS the ladder at Van Dam and it smacks him in the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Another ladder comes in so Van Dam puts Saturn in the surfboard. You know, because that’s what you want to see in a tables and ladders match right? Submission wrestling! Arabian Facebuster with the ladder gets two on Saturn. Saturn avoids a double clothesline (read as he runs through it) and hits one of his own but no tag.

Slingshot leg drop gets no count for Sabu and it’s off to Kronus. Double kick to Sabu as the tagging has finally died off. Total mess now with nothing at all as far as coherence. Sabu gets a big dive off the top rope into the front row to half kill Saturn. Van Dam adds a moonsault press off the guardrail to Kronus as Sabu and Saturn are back in the ring now.

Saturn hits a splash from the top of the ladder to Van Dam for no cover as Sabu is fighting again. Kronus and Sabu go to the floor as ladders are set up in the ring. With Saturn put on the ladder which is draped on the middle rope, RVD tries the split legged moonsault and botches it worse than Morrison ever dreamed of. Sabu hits the leg lariat to both guys including one that would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it later. The challengers get rammed together and a pair of Total Eliminations (Saturn with a leg sweep, Kronus with a spin kick to the face) to RVD ends this. Total mess in the second half.

Rating: D+. This got twenty minutes. Let that sink in a bit. They gave Sabu and Kronus twenty minutes. This was decent but the botches and the constant changing of the tag requirements (every company does this. Either have them or don’t) and the length it really got dragged down. The Eliminators had FAR better matches but this wasn’t one of them. Too long and way too sloppy.

We’ll wrap up ECW with the opening match from it’s first PPV, Barely Legal.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Eliminators

The Eliminators are Perry Saturn and John Kronus. Saturn had wanted to call the team the Harvesters of Sorrow but didn’t think enough people would get the reference. I doubt most of you will either, so the reference is that Saturn and Kronus were the gods of the harvest in Roman and Greek mythology. Yeah that was never going to work.

I’m having a hard time getting into them as they’re wearing pink tights but there we go. Sign Guy stays in the ring and takes a botched Total Elimination, which is a leg sweep/spinning heel kick combination. Saturn did the leg sweep but he didn’t sweep that well. Anyway, after a harmless manager is beaten up to cheers, I think I’m starting to get what I’m dealing with here.

The heels jump them from behind as Bubba drops both an F bomb and a powerbomb. Styles does the commentary alone on PPVs, which definitely takes some getting used to. This match is doing kind of a back and forth thing but they’re going way too fast with it. One team will be in control for 30 seconds and then the other will take over. There’s also little to no tagging.

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone on the apron yet, although we’re only about two minutes into the match. The Eliminator are reminding me a lot of the Motor City Machine Guns and the Rockers. They use a pair of Trouble in Paradises to put Bubba down. I wonder if Kofi is from Dudleyville. He’s been from everywhere else so why not? They follow that up by being secure enough in their masculinity for a long hug while wearing pink tights.

Well ok then. Kronus throws a pretty sweet handspring backflip moonsault over the ropes to take out everyone. Another thing that’s very different here is the lack of space between the ring and the railings. It’s difficult to maneuver out there if nothing else. Seconds later, Kronus does another of the same move but this time into the corner instead of over the ropes, making it a much less impressive spot and taking away from the first one.

I don’t care wht company you’re in, that’s a stupid thing to do. I’ve always loved the way Saturn dropped elbows. They’re just sweet looking. Bubba is said to be 370-375, which would make D-Von about 250. Yeah I’m not buying that at all. This is turning into an X Division match as it’s all high spots with no apparent rhyme or reason to them at all from the Eliminators.

The champions are getting completely squashed here and they get pinned after Total Elimination. That’s it? Dude that was a 6 minute destruction. Well if nothing else it’s a hot way to open the show so I’ll give them that. Gertner continues showing off that Ivy League education (legit) of his by saying that by his score, the Dudleys won.

A Total Elimination later and the new champions are heading to the back. He would start wearing a neck brace because of that, and would break Orton’s record of milking an injury by still wearing it into 2005. That’s a very severe injury and those fans should be embarrassed for cheering it. Yeah that’s not going to work at all so I’m moving on.

Rating: C-. So the first ECW PPV match ever is a glorified squash. Well that’s ok I guess, but the lack of anything remotely resembling a flow here hurt it for me. It was like they were going for a highlight reel or something. Also, I can get having the Eliminators dominate, but it makes very little sense to have them be in trouble for the first 30 seconds and then have the Dudleys have maybe another 30 seconds later on of offense.

It came off to me like high spots for the sake of high spots, which I guess if you’re trying to keep new viewers around is a good idea, but the lack of a flow was just killing this match for me as it made it feel like a bunch of rookies wrestling. At least the Eliminators got the titles which they earned a long time ago.

Soon after this, Saturn would head to WCW where he would become part of the Flock. Here’s his debut singles match from Nitro on November 3, 1997.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is defending and this is Saturn’s in ring debut. The champion jumps him to start and pounds away, only to be suplexed down to give Saturn control. A hammerlock belly to belly suplex takes Disco down again and it’s off to an armbar. Saturn legdrops the arm and puts on something like a cross armbreaker. The Eliminators leg sweep gets two and it’s off to more arm holds. Saturn keeps changing them up every few seconds to keep things moving. We get a quick ECW chant as Saturn hits a quick kick to take Disco down.

A clothesline sets up a suplex but Saturn stares at Raven instead of covering. Off to a Fujiwara armbar before standing Disco up and driving a knee into the arm to put him on the mat again. Back to the armbar but Disco comes back with a quick clothesline for two. Saturn shrugs it off and superkicks him in the back of the head to get control again. A perfect release German suplex puts Disco down again as Larry compares Saturn and Raven to Arn and Flair. Saturn hooks a tiger suplex and the Rings of Saturn gives us a new champion.

Rating: C. This was a total squash and a great way to put Saturn over as a killer. Disco wasn’t a long term champion and was just a goofy character who lucked his way into the title, so this was basically an extended version of the Honky Tonk Man/Ultimate Warrior formula. Saturn looked great here.

One of the Flock’s first feuds was with Chris Benoit, who Saturn faced at Starrcade 1997.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

Raven, a loner who has a collection of misfits called his Flock, comes out for his match against Chris Benoit but says he won’t wrestle tonight. Instead his top man Saturn does, which has been a recurring theme for Raven. To be fair to him and WCW though, Raven had a legit appendicitis and wasn’t medically cleared to wrestle. On the other hand, WCW knew this in advance and didn’t bother to announce that Raven couldn’t wrestle, thereby ripping off the fans with something they easily could have fixed. Anyway Benoit is a very tough wrestler with an excellent amateur skill set. Saturn can do a bit of everything.

Before the match, Benoit talks about seeing things for what they are in an attempt to speak like Raven. This doesn’t go well at all, but once they had their match it would be a classic. Apparently this is under Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes. Saturn tries to jump Benoit but gets chopped down for his efforts. More chops hit Saturn’s chest in the corner and a jawbreaker gets Benoit out of a sleeper attempt. Benoit stomps away in the corner and invites Raven to get in the ring. Saturn catches Benoit’s arm during a chop attempt and hits a quick suplex to take over.

Chris comes right back with a dropkick to the knee but has to knock Raven to the floor instead of go after Saturn. Benoit whips Saturn into the barricade but Raven’s men Kidman and Sick Boy interfere to give Saturn control. Back in and Saturn puts on a chinlock before hitting a moonsault, only to injure himself in the process. A few knees to Benoit’s ribs put him down again but Benoit’s foot is in the ropes. Off to reverse chinlock by Saturn to stay on the ribs but he lets it go for no apparent reason.

A kind of brainbuster gets two on Benoit and it’s off to another chinlock. Benoit fights up and hooks a sunset flip for two before clotheslining Saturn down. Both guys are dazed now but it’s Benoit taking over as they get back up. Saturn grabs a quick falcon arrow (sitout slam) to put Benoit down, only to have Chris knock him off the top rope and to the floor.

Benoit takes it to the floor and puts on his Crippler Crossface (arm trap hold with a facelock) but the Flock makes the save. Benoit fights them and throws Saturn back in for the flying headbutt, only to have the Flock come in again. They’re quickly dispatched, but Raven himself comes in with the DDT to lay Benoit out. Saturn puts on his Rings of Saturn double armbar but Benoit is out cold, ending the match.

Rating: C+. This was getting good at the end but the decision here makes little sense. Benoit had been running through the Flock, so why have him lose to Saturn right before he’s supposed to face Raven? Benoit can’t beat the second in command so we’re supposed to want to see him fight the boss? That doesn’t make sense.

Saturn was always a sure hand in the ring and got to face US Champion Goldberg at Slamboree 1998.

US Title: Saturn vs. Goldberg

Just one on one instead of the advertised gauntlet match. Goldberg easily shoves him into the corner to start before clotheslining the challenger down with ease. A gorilla press into a powerslam puts Saturn down and a shoulder knocks him to the floor. Back in and Saturn fires off kicks in the corner but charges into a spin kick from the champion. Goldberg LAUNCHES him into the corner before they head outside.

Saturn ducks a clothesline and Goldie’s arm goes into the post. Back in and a top rope spinwheel kick gets one and we hit the chinlock. Goldberg fights up but walks into a swinging neckbreaker to set up the chinlock again. Back up and Saturn grabs a chair before superkicking Goldberg into the corner. Using the chair as a springboard, Saturn kicks Goldberg in the back but a second attempt is countered with the spear. The Jackhammer retains the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me. The arm went nowhere and it never felt like Saturn had a chance. Goldberg is in an awkward place as he’s too big to squash people and midcarders are no real challenge anymore but he’s not quite ready to face main event guys. That’s a very tricky jump to make but it would come soon enough.

Saturn would get into a feud with Raven and the rest of the Flock, including Kanyon. This led to a triple threat at Road Wild 1998.

Raven vs. Kanyon vs. Saturn

Under Raven’s Rules, meaning hardcore. Raven’s music is so awesome that it doesn’t belong on a show like this. The question coming into this is whether Kanyon is under Raven’s control or not. Raven stands on the apron and tells Kanyon to get Saturn, only to have Perry take over with some kicks. Raven comes in with a chair to Saturn’s back and sends Kanyon into the post before Saturn falls to the floor as well.

Saturn and Kanyon get in a fight on the floor as Heenan tries to figure out the story of the match as only he can. Raven sits in the corner while the other two fight in the ring but they finally realize what’s going on. Kanyon dropkicks Raven low and Saturn belly to back suplexes Raven into a Kanyon neckbreaker. Kanyon throws Raven into Saturn and hits rolling Russian legsweeps on Raven for two in a nice move. Saturn breaks up the cover with a guillotine legdrop on Raven for two and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gets the same on Raven.

Kanyon gets in another fight with Saturn so Raven blasts them both in the head with a chair, only to be sent to the floor. Saturn follows him out so Kanyon dives on both guys, giving us our first breather in awhile. They get off the platform where Kanyon whips Raven HARD into the barricade. Raven comes back with a suplex to put Kanyon down on the ramp (designed like a road) but Saturn clotheslines Raven down for two. Kanyon piledrives Saturn on the stage for two more before Raven dropkicks Kanyon down the stage.

They fight back to the ring where both guys drop down to avoid a charging Raven before Saturn catches him with a t-bone suplex. Saturn puts Raven in a sleeper but Kanyon puts one on Saturn as well before a jawbreaker puts everyone down. We get a Tower of Doom with Kanyon superplexing Saturn and Raven putting Kanyon in an electric chair.

Raven tries a double DDT on both guys but only puts Saturn down. Kanyon and Raven head outside with Raven getting suplexed onto the floor. Kanyon misses a splash off the scaffolding but Saturn catches Raven in the Death Valley Driver. Lodi makes the save but Horace comes in to lay out Saturn. Horace picks up the stop sign but gets blinded by Lodi’s powder. He caves Raven’s head in and a Death Valley Driver to Raven gives Saturn the pin.

Rating: C. This was a mess but it was supposed to be. I’m still not sure where they go with this story now but it would seem to still be Raven vs. Saturn. Kanyon was just there to keep spots going and he did a good job, but that doesn’t mean he helped the story or really changed anything.

The Flock feud would come to a head at Fall Brawl 1998. If Raven wins, Saturn has to join again. If Saturn wins, the Flock is done.

Raven vs. Saturn

Kanyon is handcuffed to the ring to make it as far as possible. It’s also Raven’s Rules. Raven chills in the corner to start before getting in a cheap shot and sending Saturn across the ring and down to the mat. A running knee lift has Saturn in even more trouble but he comes back with some high kicks in the corner and a spinning springboard forearm for two. Saturn gets the same off a top rope splash and another kick sends Raven into the barricade. Lodi goes over to help but both guys are taken out by a nice suicide dive to wake up the crowd a little bit.

Lodi interferes a bit to give Raven control and get a two count off a pair of middle rope elbows. Saturn comes back with something resembling a powerbomb for two, only to be taken down by a quick clothesline. There’s a sleeper to Saturn but he comes out of it with a jawbreaker to put both guys down. Raven is up first with some rolling Russian legsweeps for two but Saturn hits him low to get a break.

We get our first chair brought in for the drop toehold from Raven and the Flock brings in a table. Kidman is on the other side of the ring and comes in to turn on Raven with a dropkick before sprinting to the back with the Flock chasing after him. Saturn’s Death Valley Driver gets a VERY close two before he snaps off three straight suplexes. Raven is out on his feet so Saturn slams him to the mat and gets two off a spinning springboard legdrop.

Something like a Juvy Driver gets two more for Saturn so he puts on the Rings of Saturn but Lodi makes the save. The referee gets bumped and Kanyon gets the key to the handcuffs out of his pocket to set himself free. He gives Saturn a Flatliner but Raven can only get two. Saturn drives Lodi through the table with the Death Valley Driver but walks into the EvenFlow. He kicks out again and the fans are WAY into this now. Another Death Valley Driver is enough to split up the Flock.

Rating: B. This was the only way to end the feud and it worked very well. As is almost always the case, the backstory makes the match much better as you have Saturn rising above everyone else and surviving everything Raven throws at him. Kidman turning makes sense as he had already been changing his look in the previous months, which is always a good addition to a feud.

Then Saturn was pushed WAY down the card, eventually getting a feud with Ernest Miller for no apparent reason. Here’s the blowoff at Starrcade 1998.

Perry Saturn vs. The Cat

This one isn’t so much strange as they’ve been feuding for awhile now, but who in the world wants to see this match? Miller of course has to give his usual speech and Saturn of course jumps him. Cat runs to the floor for some stalling before teasint walking to the back. He tries to slide back in to go after Saturn but falls at Saturn’s feet instead. Now the beating is on but Miller bails to the floor to stall again. Back in and Cat sweeps the leg and chokes a bit as the fans are dying in a hurry.

Saturn can’t hook the Rings so he wrestles Miller down to the mat. That also goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face and walks around a lot. Saturn comes back with a pair of suplexes for two and a swinging neckbreaker for the same. A top rope ax handle misses and Saturn gets kicked in the face for no cover. Back up and Miller kicks him again but asks Sonny Onoo to come in. Sonny kicks Miller by mistake, allowing Saturn to hit the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my day but I will never understand some things about WCW. For one, why in the world did Sonny Onoo keep a job for so long? Miller could at least talk and got decent later on, but why is he getting this spot on this show? At least Saturn won, finally.

Raven and Saturn would reunite by mid 1999 and they would receive a Tag Team Title shot at Slamboree 1999.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

That team wouldn’t last either so it was back to a face turn and a Tag Team Title reign with Chris Benoit. They would defend against the Jersey Triad at Great American Bash 1999.

Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Perry and Chris come out to Malenko’s music for some reason. We’re told Sting is fine from the BIG DOG ATTACK. Benoit vs. Kanyon gets us going. Chris clears the ring and the partners both get tags. The champs clear the ring again but go after Bigelow to let Team Jersey take over. The champs hit almost stereo belly to belly overheads to get control back and it’s officially Page vs. Benoit now.

Page beats him down and it’s off to Kanyon who goes to the middle rope, puts his leg on Benoit’s head, and drives him down with a Fameasser for two. Back to Page and Benoit gets a single suplex for two. Page tries the Helicopter Bomb but it’s more like a regular one instead. A Kanyon moonsault misses and here’s Saturn. He cleans house and hits a frog splash on Kanyon for two.

Saturn gets beaten down again by some good old fashioned double teaming. He tries a sunset flip but Kanyon makes a blind tag and grabs the head of Saturn, exposing Saturn’s back. Page comes in and decks him to take over. Kanyon was freaking smart in the ring man. The beating continues for awhile but Page misses a dive and crotches himself on the top buckle.

That allows for a double tag to bring in Kanyon and Benoit with the crazy Canadian going cracy on the challengers. Kanyon REALLY loudly calls for a suplex where he lands behind Benoit and he does just that. He gets rammed into Bigelow though and Rolling Germans get two. A dragon suplex gets a VERY close two. Benoit hits the Swan Dive as Saturn kind of falls off the top into a Diamond Cutter. Cue Malenko who pulls Saturn out for some reason. Crossface to Kanyon but here’s Bigelow to help with an elevated Cutter and the Triad wins the titles.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the rematch where the Triad could trade in and out next month at the Bash at the Beach was a much better match. Still though, this was so far and away a better match than anything else all night that I’d rather watch it a dozen times than anything else here. Not bad, but they’ve had better matches.

Saturn would get another TV Title shot at Fall Brawl 1999.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is now a heel and all “rough” or something like that. Oh and the Steiners are all cool again. Steiner is champion and Saturn is in the Revolution. Take a guess as to what happens here. Steiner takes him down to the match rather quickly as we’re told Buff Bagwell isn’t here yet but there’s a replacement for him who will be named later.

Saturn gets his spinning legdrop for no cover. Suicide dive takes out Steiner and Saturn hammers away. No real reason for this match other than Saturn has been deemed a challenger. We touch on the death of referee Mark Curtis (Brian Hilldebrand) who passed away earlier in the week. Everyone is wearing a black armband because of it which is always cool to see.

Out to the floor and Saturn is sent into the steps. Bad DDT on the floor puts Saturn down even more. Other than a brief flourish at the beginning it’s been all Steiner because that’s what he does. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to sell for anyone. That would imply that someone young could be better than him and the people might somehow care about him even less. Perish the thought!

German sends Saturn flying. Off to a chinlock so that Rick can have a little breather. Off to a half crab as this is rather boring indeed. Saturn slaps the mat but we’re not going to call that a tap out because that’s not the planned ending. Back to the half crab which isn’t even cranked on. Basically he’s just got his leg up in the air a bit. Give me a break. Belly to belly gets no cover for Rick.

There’s another belly to belly and Saturn is down. Rick yells at a fan and Saturn is able to get a middle rope dropkick to take Steiner down. T-bone suplex gets two for the former Perry. And never mind that as Steiner takes him down with a powerslam for two. Death Valley Driver, Saturn’s finisher, gets two also. Saturn calls for the Rings of Saturn but instead goes for another DVD which is shrugged off. Steiner Bulldog is broken up but the second attempt hits so Steiner can retain. Give me another break.

Rating: D-. No one, I mean NO ONE, cared about Rick Steiner at this point. Therefore the obvious solution is to give him the TV Title for four months. He would lose it to Benoit the next night, so why in the freaking world wouldn’t you just do the title change here???? Oh that’s right: Benoit has to job to Sid because Heaven knows Sid is the guy that needs the US Title more than Benoit right? I freaking give up.

Here’s Saturn’s last match in WCW, from Souled Out 2000.

Billy Kidman vs. Perry Saturn

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning hardcore. At least Kidman’s music is kind of catchy. Saturn is freaking stacked as far as muscles go. Perry stomps away to start and gets a clothesline to take Kidman down. Big press slam as this is a regular match so far. Kidman fights back with speed and punches in the corner. Clothesline gets two. He tries a running headlock takeover out of the corner but gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor. That gets two on the floor.

Back in the ring and Saturn does something to Kidman’s neck but gets rolled up for two. This is painfully boring. Springboard legdrop gets two for Saturn. Kidman’s shirt is ripped off and we FINALLY get to a weapon, in this case, a table which is laid face down on the floor instead of being set up in the ring. Ah there it is. Heenan: “Tony we could make a fortune in a table company.” Mike: “Heenan if you’re involved the only thing it’ll be is under the table.” That was good. Where is this funny Mike every other show?

The table is on the floor but Saturn can’t suplex onto him. Saturn gets an elbow from the top rope for no cover so Kidman grabs a sunset flip for two. Diving powerbomb gets two as does a Sky High from Kidman. Saturn throws Kidman over the top and through the table which gets two. It looked great if nothing else. Saturn tries a powerbomb from the top but gets backdropped instead. Out of NOWHERE Saturn tries another powerbomb (does he get paid per powerbomb?) but gets dropped in a facejam for the pin. This was Saturn’s last match in WCW.

Rating: D+. I’m starting to feel bad for giving these matches such low grades. They’re not really that terrible but they’re just so painfully uninteresting. I’m flying through this show and I’ve yet to see anything worth watching in it. Every one of the six matches so far range from just kind of there to completely uninteresting. There were some cool spots here and I like Saturn so I guess you could call this the match of the night so far….somehow.

Saturn would debut in late January for the WWF as part of the Radicalz, along with Benoit, Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero. They would team for a good while with Eddie winning the European Title. Saturn and Malenko both challenged him at Judgment Day 2000.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn vs. Dean Malenko

Dig that pop for Eddie. Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion here which he would be like forever. Dean and Saturn beat him down with relative ease, throwing in a modified Decapitator ala Demolition. I love hearing them drop F Bombs in the corner. Leg lariat by Malenko takes Saturn down as Eddie is down in the corner.

We get some nice three man spots including Eddie getting a mule kick as a low blow to both guys. Eddie fights both guys back and gets a nice rana on Saturn to take him down. Dean leans into a headscissors and gets a side slam for two. Tornado DDT by Eddie to take Saturn down for two as Malenko saves.

Butterfly suplex by Malenko is countered into a sunset flip by Eddie which is countered into a Texas Cloverleaf which is countered by Saturn. Saturn double crosses Malenko as they set for a Doomsday Device. He throws Eddie at the top rope to crotch Malenko. Eddie gets up but walks into the middle rope gutbuster from Eddie. Saturn busts out a Frog Splash on Eddie for two as Malenko saves.

Perry tries a Texas Cloverleaf on Dean which Eddie breaks up. Brainbuster to Saturn as this has gotten quite good. Saturn charges at Eddie who ducks and it’s down to Eddie and Dean for the moment. Dean gets a suplex and a top rope splash for two. It’s a triple/double/whatever else JR calls it suplex as Dean suplexes Eddie and Saturn suplexes Dean. Chyna drills Saturn with the flowers and trips Dean to send him head first into them. Eddie rolls up Dean for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Another fast paced and fun match. This is what happens when you put guys out there that know each other and have no issues with letting the other guys look good. There were some very creative spots in there and all three guys worked very hard. Fun times indeed and the second good match in a row.

The team would all be together at Survivor Series 2000.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero
Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean comes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Then Saturn would get hit in the head a lot and fall in love with a mop. It’s funny you see. Raven would destroy said mop, setting up this match at Unforgiven 2001.

Raven vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn goes off on him to start as Paul gets in the line of the night: “They’re fighting over the memory of a mop.” Raven goes to the floor and hits the Russian leg sweep into the barrier and a drop toehold into the steps. JR talks about the Flock and Heyman talks about how JR never watched Nitro. JR: “I was busy!” Back in and Raven grabs a cobra clutch of all things.

Saturn escapes but Raven hits a HARD knee lift to send him out to the floor. Saturn keeps trying to get back in but Raven keeps knocking him back to the floor. He manages to get back in with a sunset flip but Raven grabs the rope for two. Saturn hits his usual nice superkick and pounds away. Suplex puts Raven down again. Raven counters a top rope rana and a sunset flip gets two. Perry goes way old school with a catapult and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gives Saturn the win.

Rating: C. This was a Raw match but it was fine. Saturn bleeding from the eye made him look like a warrior…even though this wasn’t a match that needed a warrior. These two always had solid chemistry together and even here with Raven and Saturn both meaning nothing it was a decent match.

Saturn wouldn’t be long for the company and would hit the indies, including World Wrestling All-Stars. Here’s his match from their Retribution show in 2003.

Sabu vs. Simon Diamond vs. Perry Saturn

This is a hardcore match because Sabu can’t wrestle anything else. Saturn is freshly released from WWE and has been out for awhile with a knee injury. Disco does the intros here for no apparent reason. Before the match, Simon complains about having to be in a hardcore match despite being a top level athlete. Saturn still has the kidnapped Midajah with him here. She’s also in a different outfit than she was earlier.

The fans immediately chant for ECW, obviously getting what the promoters were shooting for. Diamond gets double teamed to start so he bails to the floor. Saturn throws Sabu down but Sabu trips him up, leading to a slugout. Diamond comes back in when they both go down for near falls on both guys. Saturn hiptosses Sabu to the floor but gets rolled up by Simon, as this three way battle of the S’s continues.

Sabu comes back in for a triple headlock spot (usually a sleeper in ECW but I guess WWE bought that concept in the acquisition) before Diamond is sent to the floor. A spear by Saturn puts Sabu down, only for Sabu to come back with a springboard leg lariat for two. Diamond and Saturn go to the floor while Sabu sets up a chair in the ring. A BIG dive takes out everyone and we all lay down on the floor for a bit. Diamond and Saturn seem to hook up, but Sabu pelts the chair at Saturn’s head as he comes back in.

Time for Simon vs. Sabu for a bit but Saturn comes back in and rams the chair into Sabu’s throat. Midajah is still at ringside despite her captor being occupied in the ring. Saturn suplexes both guys down but doesn’t seem interested in going for a pin. Diamond is back in now to clothesline Saturn down and put Sabu in a shoulder hold on the mat. Saturn is busted open badly around his eye. With Sabu down, Simon puts on an armbar at the same time that Saturn puts on a leg lock. Simon lets go first to stop Saturn before loading up a table on the floor.

Diamond tries to suplex Sabu over the top and through the table but it’s Saturn making the save with a chair shot to the ribs. Simon falls to the floor so Saturn can pose for a bit. He poses too long though and Simon comes back in with a suplex to take Saturn down. Sabu hits Saturn with the chair and hits the Arabian Facebuster on Simon. Saturn is laid out on the table outside as Simon is ranaed off the top by Sabu. Perry comes back in with a top rope elbow drop on Simon for no cover.

Now it’s Sabu taking over with running leg lariats to both guys but Saturn breaks up the Triple Jump Moonsault. There are the Rings of Saturn on Sabu but Simon makes the save. An electric chair puts Saturn down but a clothesline puts Simon on the floor. Saturn suplexes Diamond through the table before loading up another one. Diamond is laid out on the table where Sabu dives through it and him.

Cue the freaking midgets again to beat up Saturn with kendo sticks, drawing in Midajah. She defends Saturn for absolutely no apparent reason, allowing Saturn to get two on Sabu after a Death Valley Driver. All the guys are down so the midgets strip Midajah. Saturn covers her up and walks out as Simon hits a reverse DDT for two on Sabu. The chair is pelted at a diving Diamond and it’s a Triple Jump Moonsault to Simon’s legs for the pin, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D. WHO DECIDED TO GIVE THIS SEVENTEEN FREAKING MINUTES????? Sabu is the kind of guy who should never be given more than about eight minutes, so these knuckleheads decided to DOUBLE that? The match was the biggest collection of mostly missing spots that you’ll see this side of ECW, but it had tables in it so it’s awesome right?

In a bizarre story, Saturn would get shot helping a woman and develop a drug addiction. He completely dropped off the map and was assumed to be dead for a long while. He was found working in a door factory in Iowa. Saturn finally returned to wrestling about seven years later. Here’s the return match from AWE Night of the Legends in 2011.

 

Perry Saturn vs. C.W. Anderson

This is Saturn’s return match after being a homeless drug addict who people thought was dead for years. Saturn now has a tattoo on his face ala Mike Tyson. He also has a beer gut and no mustache now which is a weird look for him. Feeling out process to start with Saturn shoving Anderson into the corner. This appears to be the goofy Saturn again which isn’t really that fun to watch.

C.W. bails to the floor almost immediately and hits Saturn in the head with a chair as Saturn tries a suicide dive. Back in and Perry is busted open just a bit. Perry’s arm is sent into the buckle and we get our first psychology of the match. Off to an armbar as the match stays slow. A clothesline gets a very slow two count for Anderson and he throws Saturn to the floor for fun.

Back in and it’s back to the armbar as the announcers bicker about some nonsense. Anderson charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn takes him down with a bulldog. Back up and Saturn charges into a superkick for two but he comes back with a fast sunset flip for a very slow three count to win his return match.

Rating: D+. Considering this was his first match back in nine years, this was pretty good stuff. The problem here is mainly with Anderson. I’ve never gotten the appeal of this guy but he keeps getting work because of a few months he spent working with ECW near the end. Wrestling is funny that way.

Saturn is a guy that has talent but was bizarre at times to say the least. I blame a lot of his career being messed up due to WCW not capitalizing on his momentum after the first feud with Raven as the stupid Ernest Miller feud just stopped anyone from caring about him at all. That’s a shame too as the guy was very talented and almost got over huge anyway. Still though, he was fun while he lasted.

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Sunday Night Heat
Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This was another request for reasons I don’t remember. It’s the first episode of Sunday Night Heat that aired on MTV, which would be its home for the next two and a half years. Things are good in the WWF at the moment and would get even better in the coming weeks. We’re three weeks away from No Mercy so the main feuds are Rock vs. Angle and HHH vs. Benoit. Let’s get to it.

We open in WWF New York with two MTV airheads hosting. Thankfully the recently returned Steve Austin cuts them off and send the crowd through the roof.

Cole and Tazz are the real hosts.

William Regal vs. Crash

Regal easily takes him down for a series of two counts before putting on a cross arm chinlock. A backslide and small package get two each for Crash and a missile dropkick gets the same. Regal comes back with the fireman’s carry roll and the Regal Stretch gets the quick submission.

Regal won’t let go until Naked Mideon (don’t ask) comes in for a distraction to break it up.

Disturbed performs their big hit Stupify, as suggested by Steve Austin.

The MTV hosts annoy me some more.

Jonathan Coachman hosts WWF Live, which is a studio segment. We get a quick promo from Kurt Angle about how he can’t forgive Stephanie for what she did at Unforgiven but he’s going to think about himself from now on.

Light Heavyweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Taka Michinoku

Dean is defending and is the Ladies Man at this point. They fight over a wristlock to start and hit the mat for a fast technical sequence with Taka knocking Dean out to the floor. Tazz: “Why did Steve Austin cross the road? So he wouldn’t get hit by another car. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Back in and Taka hits a low dropkick and a middle rope cross body gets two. Dean comes back with a release flapjack but the Cloverleaf is countered into a rollup for two. Not that it matters as a floatover suplex retains the title. Taka is holding his shoulder so I’m guessing a legit injury due to how fast that ended.

Road Dogg doesn’t think Chyna has her head on straight but after tonight, Eddie Guerrero isn’t going to have the Intercontinental Title on after tonight. That’s not how the promo went but it sounds better than Road Dogg speaking bad Spanish.

Austin wants Disturbed to perform again.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is defending but his girlfriend Chyna (also Road Dogg’s friend) is in Washington D.C. for an autograph signing. Dogg jumps him to start and the brawl starts on the floor. Back in and a suplex gets two on Guerrero before Dogg stomps away in the corner. Now Dogg stomps away in the other corner but Eddie pokes him in the eye and stomps away as well. The slingshot hilo gets two for the champion as this is already dull. Dogg hits the Shake Rattle and Roll but gets dropkicked in the knee. Eddie rolls through a powerslam and ties his feet in the ropes to retain the title. Another short match.

Steven Richards thinks MTV has corrupted the youth of America and hates that Heat now airs here. He complains while plugging a lot of other MTV shows.

The MTV hosts think Richards is a virgin and start a Chyna chant.

Austin introduces Disturbed to perform his theme song.

Right to Censor vs. Dudley Boys

Tables match and it’s Buchanan and Goodfather for the guys in suits. Bubba and Goodfather get things going with the latter taking over, only to miss the spinning legdrop. D-Von comes in and hits a middle rope legdrop as the announcers talk about Tazz and Mick Foley. Buchanan comes in off the tag and nails a shoulder block to take over. The fans chant for tables and Bubba goes into his trance.

D-Von clotheslines Buchanan down and goes for a cover, causing Cole to go on a rant about how stupid he is. Everything breaks down and it’s What’s Up to both of them. Tables are brought in but Goodfather and Bubba make quick saves for their partners. Goodfather is sent to the floor and the 3D puts Bull through the table.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Seriously that’s almost all there is to say. Nothing of note happened, the match was nothing interesting, and it doesn’t end the feud at all. This is a perfect way to cap off a show this boring as the main event is even more dull than most of the rest of the show.

Val Venis and Steven Richards come in and put the Dudleys through tables.

Austin doesn’t have much to say to Cole and Tazz but he beats up the latter to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This was horrible with the matches meaning nothing, the musical stuff being fast forward material and the rest of the show just being boring. Those MTV hosts shouting seem so tacked on and the whole thing is just a mess. To be fair Raw and Smackdown are the main shows, but having Austin do the most pointless cameo ever was a waste of time. Awful, awful show.

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Treat this one for what it is. Today is Chyna.

Chyna would debut as HHH’s bodyguard back in 1997. She destroyed various people and joined DX along with Shawn Michaels and HHH. Eventually she would join them in the occasional match, with her first one coming on May 4, 1998’s Raw.

DOA/Legion of Doom vs. D-Generation X

8 man tag here. The referee throws out Sunny to take away the visual part of this. The Outlaws come out on mopeds. Lawler says he took some Viagra earlier today. Chyna is thrown out also. HHH says not so fast because she’s replacing X-Pac in the match. This is actually happening and it’s Animal vs. Road Dogg to get us going. A powerbomb is broken up but a powerslam hits for two. You figure out who did it to who.

Off to 8-Ball (how does Ross tell them apart?) but he gets beaten down by the future Game. Jerry tries to call this the first intergender match in company history. Not quite but I guess they’re trying to say mixed tag is different than intergender. Billy hits a Fameasser to take over and here’s Chyna to a POP. She busts out a hurricanrana for two but Skull shoves her off with ease.

We take a break and come back with HHH stomping away on one of the bikers but he gets caught in a powerslam for two. Hot tag brings in Hawk and Jerry thinks the LOD just wanted to keep the titles off the DOA. Chyna comes in again and goes up but Hawk knocks her to the floor. He gets a shot in the bird eggs for it and everything breaks down with a three on one DX beatdown to Hawk.

Off to Roadie again as this is getting some time. Billy comes in now and JR sings his praises. He charges after Hawk in the corner (Billy, not JR) and they ram heads which lets 8-Ball get the tag. The LOD and DOA get into a fight which was expected and DX watches (smart) from the ring. LOD gets in some chair shots but they’re only somewhat successful. The match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. This was just a way to get Chyna out there and set up the tag feud. This wasn’t much of note but the popularity of DX is certainly noteworthy. LOD vs. DOA would go on FOREVER and it was boring the entire time. Eventually Paul Ellering was brought in for some reason and it didn’t go anywhere else. Not much of a match.

Chyna would only wrestle once or twice in 1998 but would start competing more full time in 1999. One of her first major matches was when she was part of the Corporation. On May 11, 1999, she took part in the Corporate Rumble with the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble on the line.

Corporate Rumble

This is a mini-Rumble where the winner gets to be #30. We open with Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn (not in the Corporation so I guess this is an open field for some reason?) and after a break we’re ready to go. Oh apparently this is DX vs. the Corporation. Why would Vince agree to that? Shamrock kicks Gunn off the apron before Gunn gets in and DIVES ONTO THE FLOOR, eliminating himself in the process.

Shamrock pounds away on Billy as Shane cheers him on. The Boss Man is #3 and Billy is in big trouble already. Gunn comes back with a forearm but Boss Man chokes him down. Test is #4 (I think the intervals are about once a minute) to make it two on one. A big boot put Gunn down but they can’t eliminate him. Thankfully X-Pac is #5 but after only a few seconds, Test hiptosses Billy out.

The layout powerbomb puts Pac down but Road Dogg is #6. He’s still got the blood all over him and nothing happens until Kane is #7. A clothesline puts Roadie out and Pac is stuck 3-1. HHH is #8 and things speed up. Test accidentally hits Kane and gets knocked out as a result. HHH and Pac take out Kane but Pac is eliminated in the process. That leaves HHH vs. Boss Man….until Vince is a surprise entrant at #9.

Shane of course erupts as Vince sneaks in and eliminates both guys to seemingly win the thing. He tears his shirt off ala Hogan, but Chyna is another surprise entrant at #10. The place goes nuts but the Stooges won’t let her get in. Chyna decks both of them and here comes Austin. The distraction is enough to let Chyna throw Vince out (apparently knocking him out cold in the process) and get the #30 spot. Shane freaks to end the show.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade because the wrestling barely existed, but the fan reaction was incredible, as Vince got a ton of heat but Chyna’s pop was even better. Good surprise here but as usual, it’s all about the payoff and nothing about the buildup to that payoff. Such is life in the Attitude Era.

Along with the Corporation, Chyna would go to war with DX, including this tag match at In Your House #27. HHH was livid at her for her betrayal and it’s time for revenge.

HHH/X-Pac vs. Kane/Chyna

HHH is all fired up for this one. He takes off the DX shirt to reveal a Chyna shirt which he rips to pieces. Shane McMahon comes out to do some commentary. HHH pounds away on Kane to start but is quickly clotheslined down. HHH comes back with a shot to the face and brings in X-Pac for some right hands, only to have Kane easily toss him into the corner to take over.

Chyna comes in with a forearm but misses a charge as this is the first man on woman match in WWF history. Chyna avoids the Bronco Buster and things slow down a bit until it’s back to Kane. HHH comes back in with a top rope fist to the face but goes after Chyna instead, allowing Kane to come back with the top rope clothesline for no cover. Chyna gets the tag and escapes a quick suplex attempt to slam HHH down in a nice power display.

Back to X-Pac to crank on the arm and avoid a charge in the corner, setting up a double suplex by DX. Chyna tries to come in off the top but gets launched off the top rope at Kane to keep DX in control. Kane is clotheslined to the floor as everything breaks down. X-Pac dives at Shane before heading back inside to get slammed down by Kane for no cover. Chyna comes back in with a running powerslam before Kane gets the tag and pounds away as well.

HHH is watching a bit too intently, allowing Chyna to blast him in the face before clotheslining X-Pac down for two. Chyna hooks a sleeper hold on X-Pac but gets taken down by a belly to back suplex. A hot tag brings in HHH and everything breaks down again. HHH hits the knee to Chyna’s face but Kane pulls him to the floor to prevent a Pedigree attempt. Chyna gets caught in the corner for the Bronco Buster but Shane sneaks in to jump X-Pac. X-Pac chases him to the back and HHH sends Kane into the steps. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Kane comes in with a chokeslam to give Chyna the easy pin.

Rating: D+. The match was all built around the story but the question is which story. That was the problem with this whole thing: it was such a mess with all the twists and turns that people stopped caring. Eventually at Wrestlemania, Chyna would turn face again to rejoin HHH but then literally less than an hour later they would both turn heel to join the Corporation. Think that’s enough twists and turns?

Chyna would continue doing stuff women didn’t often do by entering the 1999 King of the Ring.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Road Dogg vs. Chyna

Road Dogg has a “Down Where, Down There” shirt. Yeah they didn’t steal any of that from the NWO, not a thing. He does his standard intro which forever proves that wrestling doesn’t need to exist to get a character over. DX is more or less dead here as it’s just him and X-Pac. Chyna and HHH are heels now. Roadie got in over Godfather and Chyna over Val Venis.

For an idea on the in ring stuff at the time, none of the 8 qualifying matches went longer than 3 minutes. This is really just a way for Chyna to showcase herself and that’s fine. They start with a very nice hammerlock sequence. The thing that’s forgotten about Chyna is that she could wrestle. Killer Kowalski said she could so that’s pretty solid. I said that before Ross did so I’m happy.

She dominates for a decent while until we hit the floor and HHH slams Roadie into the post. We hear Chyna call a spot which happens at times so that’s ok. Chyna gets points for using a DDT so I like her more than I did for her looks. She steals the Road Dogg’s knee drop which makes me chuckle and gets her a lot of heat. It amazes me how far she fell. Road Dogg can’t really fight back here which is the storyline of the match, which makes a lot of sense actually.

And there’s your ref bump and HHH putting Chyna on top. Make your own jokes. It only gets two though to a GREAT pop. Now Commissioner Shawn comes out for no apparent reason other than to stop HHH. Road Dogg finally snaps and uses his regular offense as HHH is thrown out by Shawn. Chyna goes for her mega low blow but Road Dogg is wearing a metal cup which makes a lot of sense. The pumphandle ends it.

Rating: C+. There was some interesting stuff here. Chyna was a big deal on a semi national level so that’s always a cool thing. Road Dogg was showing he could actually put on a passable match, and the cup thing was smart but simple. This was certainly ok, but it could have been improved by being a few minutes shorter. It wasn’t bad at all though.

During the insanity that was 1999, Chyna found herself in a triple threat with Undertaker and HHH for the WWF Title shot at Summerslam 1999 on August 9, 1999’s Raw.

Chyna vs. Undertaker vs. HHH

Commissioner Shawn Michaels is guest referee for reasons that aren’t clear, falls count anywhere and JESSE VENTURA is guest commentator. HHH shoves Chyna down to start and hammers away on Undertaker in the corner. You know that’s fine with Undertaker as he throws HHH into the corner and pounds away before lifting Chyna in the air by the throat. Chyna rakes the eyes so Taker shoves her to the floor. HHH makes the save but gets kicked in the face and sent outside as well.

The guys fight on the ramp as the announcers talk about HHH being #1 contender coming in but having to defend it here. Jesse spends the entire match talking about how important this is because it’s for a chance to become World Heavyweight Champion. I love hearing commentators do that for a change. HHH and Undertaker come back inside where Chyna has to save HHH from a chokeslam.

She shoves HHH down and hits him low before walking into the softest chokeslam ever from Undertaker. The fans aren’t pleased and let the Dead Man know about it. The guys slug it out again as Steve Austin returns from being hospitalized earlier in the night. All three people are on the floor and here’s Austin to blast HHH in the head with a chair. He puts Chyna on top to send her to Summerslam in a huge upset.

Rating: D+. This would be the second of literally four or five #1 contenders matches which wound up seeing HHH and Mankind both getting the title shot. Chyna winning was there for a big shock while the other two punched each other for eight minutes. At the end of the day she was very popular so this win wasn’t a…..ok yeah this was a huge stretch but it’s not like it lasted.

Since she didn’t get to go after the World Title at Summerslam, she settled for going after the Intercontinental Title over the next few months. Her big showdown with champion Jeff Jarrett came at No Mercy 1999 in a Good Housekeeping match. The idea was that Jarrett thought Chyna should be cooking and cleaning and was going to prove it.

There’s one more interesting thing to this match. This match is, among other reasons, the main reason why Jarrett was thrown out of the WWF and told never to come back. In other words, TNA wouldn’t be around if not for this match. The thing was, this had been built up for months at this point. This more or less was the 3rd biggest match on the card. You could argue the 2nd biggest. One problem: Jarrett’s contract expired Saturday night or Friday or whenever.

Point is: he wasn’t under contract for Sunday and was the Intercontinental Champion. Vince has a major problem and Jarrett realizes it. So, Jarrett says pay him somewhere around $400,000 or he’s not showing up. He had Vince over a barrel so he got paid. The thing is, Jarrett did nothing wrong whatsoever.

Vince messed up here as he didn’t realize that he had a major issue coming up and he just let it go. Jarrett utilized supply and demand. There was a very high demand for his services and a small supply. He used simple economics and charged Vince a very high price tag for it. Not a thing wrong with it at all. Also, how many times do people get the better of Vince? I love that.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Remember this is more or less a weapons match with certain weapons only. Chyna, the liberated woman, is wearing a thong. Sure why not. Miss Kitty is amazing looking of course so that’s no shock. This is a glorified comedy match but that’s working for something like this as it fits the storyline pretty well. Chyna shoves a banana in Jarrett’s face while he has a toilet seat around his neck. See what I’m dealing with here?

All Chyna so far here until she misses an elbow from the apron through a table. She broke the salami that was on the table. Apparently this is falls count anywhere as well. Jarrett hits her in the back with a fish. Ok then. Chyna beats up Miss Kitty but gets caught in the figure four, which was Jarrett’s finisher at the time. Ah there are the ropes. Jarrett comes off the second rope and the tongs he has wind up on his balls.

We’ve got pies. You might notice there is no sort of wrestling or flow to this at all. Don’t bother looking for it as this is a glorified comedy match. Kitchen sink shot gets two. There goes the referee. Who says the late 90s were overbooked? Chyna takes the title to the face…and gets pinned? Apparently so.

BUT WAIT!

The referee says the IC Title isn’t a household item so he can’t use it for the pin. Chyna blasts him with a guitar and that’s ok for the pin and the title. Ok then. Kitty leaves with Chyna, leading to a weird semi-lesbian angle without ever saying that’s what it was.

Rating: C-. Not really a match but it ended the angle in a way that fit perfectly. I’m ok with that as it at least made sense. This was a solid blowoff to the match so that’s all I can ask for I guess. Jarrett would be in WCW in like a day or so, never to return again due to taking advantage of Vince’s error.

Chyna would start a rivalry with a newcomer named Chris Jericho, defending against him at Survivor Series 1999.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho has only been around a few months and is challenging here. Chyna has Miss Kitty here who isn’t even hiding that she’s T&A here, coming out in a bikini and that’s it. Oh and boots. It’s a brawl to start and Kitty is shoved down because Jericho is a jerk. They head to the floor with Jericho’s knees going into the steps, but Chyna misses a dive off said steps to give the Canadian control.

Back in and Jericho gets hot shotted onto the ropes and put in the Tree of Woe. Chyna tries a German but Jericho kicks her low….with no effect because Chyna isn’t a guy. A standing rana takes Jericho down but he pops back up and clotheslines her to the floor. The springboard dive takes Chyna out again as JR talks about not being into the match due to what happened to Austin. For once this is an acceptable statement.

Jericho throws Chyna over the announce table and pours water over her head because Jericho is a jerk. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Jericho as does a small package for Chyna. Chyna tries to make a comeback but Jericho bulldogs him down for two and a BIG face pop. A spinwheel kick puts Chyna down and Jericho is swaggering. A clothesline puts Chyna on the floor and Kitty gets kissed.

Chyna comes back with a spear and posts Jericho as the crowd noticeably gets quieter. Back in and Jericho hits a layout powerbomb for two and Jericho is getting frustrated. Lionsault misses and Chyna hits the springboard elbow and a DDT for two. With about two minutes left, Lawler mentions a stipulation that Jericho will get a sex change if he loses. Keep those priorities straight guys.

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the submission being broken. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took a bit to get going but they hit a groove in that ending sequence. The most important thing here though was Jericho wrestled her like any other opponent rather than making a spectacle out of her being a woman. These two would stay at it for awhile until Chyna went nuts and eventually started wrestling women, which was the downfall of her career. Well that and being nuts and HHH breaking up with her, but that’s another story.

Jericho would eventually take the title, before a rematch ended in a double pin. They were co-champions for awhile, until a match at the 2000 Royal Rumble would settle things. Hardcore Holly is thrown in for no apparent reason.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

You know Jericho is fired up to be in MSG. He talks about how awesome his championship celebration will be, as it will make the millennium celebration look like his sister’s seventh birthday party. Holly piefaces Chyna down to start before getting in a slap fight with Jericho. Chyna gets sent to the floor for the Slaughter fall, leaving the blondes to fight for a bit. Holly hits that perfect dropkick of his but Jericho comes back with the forearm.

They slug it out until Holly tries a rana (huh?), only to get caught in the Walls. Chyna makes the save, basically turning heel at the same time. Chyna sends Holly to the floor and gets drilled by Jericho. Holly and Chyna go to the floor where Jericho tries a dive but slips and only hits Holly. Back in and there’s the handspring elbow and DDT from Chyna to the Canadian for two. Everyone heads to the floor where Jericho saves Chyna from a chair shot. Back in and both champions go up for a kind of double splash for two.

They both tried for a cover and a fight breaks out as a result. Chyna escapes a belly to back suplex and hits Jericho low, followed by a Pedigree for two on Holly. Chyna goes up but gets caught in a modified Doomsday Device (cross body instead of a clothesline) for a very close two. That probably should have been the finish. Now Jericho loads up a superplex but gets crotched for his efforts. Holly gets superplexed by Chyna but gets two on her off the bounce. Chyna chairs Holly in the head and puts on the Walls, only to have Jericho break it up and hit the Lionsault for the undisputed title and a BIG pop.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and too short to get bad. It could have been on Raw but see, back in 2000, there was this crazy idea of finishing angles on PPV. I know that’s insane now and everything ends in a big match on Raw or rather just stops happening one day, but back in the old days, they ended like this. Match was fine.

Chyna would soon get into a feud with the newly arrived Radicalz, facing them at Wrestlemania 2000 in a six person tag as she teamed with Too Cool.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The following night on Raw, Eddie and Chyna would hook up and stay together for most of the summer. This is probably Chyna’s best story and is pretty well remembered. Eddie and Chyna would regularly team together, including this match on June 5, 2000 on Raw.

Godfather/Dean Malenko vs. Chyna/Eddie Guerrero

This is before Dean was a ladies man so it’s just an oddball team. Eddie interrupts the Godfather’s lines to tick off the fans. This is the followup to Eddie costing Godfather a match against Chyna on Heat. Godfather and Eddie start things off with Eddie being tossed into the corner but Chyna blocks the Ho Train.

Dean comes in and counters a rollup into a wheelbarrow suplex for two. A rana puts Malenko down and it’s off to Chyna whose DDT is easily countered by Dean. The handspring elbow connects with Malenko in the corner before it’s back to Eddie. Dean hiptosses him into the Godfather’s Ho’s, ticking off Chyna in the process. Back in and Eddie counters a tilt-a-whirl slam into a small package to pin Dean.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have any time to go anywhere but notice again that they’re putting a bunch of different acts out there to keep things from getting stale. Yeah we get some repetitive stuff in the back, but it’s a bunch of quick shots instead of long drawn out segments to dull the fans’ minds. In short: keep things moving rather than constantly putting the same stuff out there over and over again.

The pair would face Trish Stratus and Val Venis in a tag team match at Summerslam with Val’s Intercontinental Title on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Trish Stratus/Val Venis vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chyna

Val is champion and the first fall here gets the title, other than Trish that is. Trish’s little white shorts get a BIG pop as you would expect. The guys start things off with Eddie speeding things up and hitting a jumping back elbow for two. A snap suplex gets the same and Guerrero escapes a powerbomb before clotheslining Val down. Eddie catches Val’s kick to the ribs and whips him around into a Chyna clothesline.

A double flapjack puts Venis down for two and Chyna hits another clothesline for two. Trish tries to get in a cheap shot but the distraction allows Val to take over. A LOUD Chyna chant starts up but Val suplexes her down for two. Chyna avoids a middle rope elbow but her powerbomb is countered with a backdrop. Instead Chyna takes him down with a DDT and it’s back to Eddie to clean house. A springboard hurricanrana gets two on the champion but

Val drops him face first onto the buckle and puts Eddie down with a Blue Thunder Bomb. They headbutt each other to put both guys down but Trish tags herself in and gets two on Eddie. Jerry tries to give the blonde pointers but Eddie easily takes Trish down. Off to Chyna and the mauling is on, but Val breaks up the handspring elbow attempt. Chyna avoids a double team and Eddie pulls Val to the floor, allowing Chyna to gorilla press Trish for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but the girls looked good enough to carry it. This would be another part of a long storyline as Eddie would cost Chyna the title in about two weeks, accidentally stealing it for himself. Val would split with Trish after this and join up with the Right to Censor for the next few months. Not much to see here other than Trish in the shorts.

Eddie would get caught cheating on Chyna soon after this, leading to a feud between the two. One of their showdowns, albeit with three partners each, took place at Survivor Series 2000.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero
Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean co

mes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Chyna would hurt her neck soon after this and be forced to wrestle women. She would also pose in Playboy, causing the Right to Censor to freak out. This led to Chyna vs. RTC member Ivory for the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania X7.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

For one of the only times ever, Chyna looks great here. Ivory holds the belt to her face before the bell, but the referee is shoved away to let Ivory hit Chyna in the back with said title. Ivory gets in a few more shots but Chyna catches a boot in the corner. The destruction begins and Ivory is beaten down in the corner. A powerbomb kills Ivory dead but Chyna pulls her up at two. Instead it’s a gorilla press slam for the pin and the title. Chyna would bail on the company about a month later without ever losing the title.

Here’s a match I have to include for historical sake. From Raw on April 30, 2001.

Trish Stratus vs. Chyna

If this were like 4 years later, it could have been a featured PPV match. These two kind of missed in the timeline though. Trish is getting a lot of her signature looks and styles down but is wearing shorts instead of the long pants. Heyman does the sponsor ad for the Judgment Day PPV which would be Chyna’s last WWF match. Trish tries a charge and literally bounces off Chyna. This is domination even though Chyna doesn’t want to hurt her. Military press puts Trish down as does a jackknife, good for the pin. One of the most dominant squashes I’ve ever seen.

Chyna grabs the mic and says she doesn’t have much competition so she’s going to spank her opponents instead of pinning them. Cue Lita to a big old pop. She challenges Chyna and this actually approaches epic. Chyna squashed her because that’s all she did to the other Divas. The spanking thing was supposed to be….well I’m not sure what it was supposed to be. It was Chyna’s last American match for about 10 years.

And now, their match from Judgment Day 2001.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Lita

Lita is insanely over here. And here’s Chyna looking like a freaking peacock. That’s JR’s term, not mine. They hug before the match as I guess Lita is ok with Chyna being all evil to her and not seeming to take this seriously at all. This is power vs. speed here and both use their own better attribute to take over for a bit. Lita tries to help Chyna up and gets rolled up for two. Ok so she’s hot but not incredibly smart. Got it.

Chyna overpowers the match with ease to start but Lita gets a DDT for two. She finally wakes up and hammers away on Chyna. Middle rope clothesline gets two. Lita goes for the arm as this is getting sloppy. The fans are still in it though so they have that at least. Swinging neckbreaker by Chyna sets up a powerslam for two.

Lita channels her inner Alberto by hooking up a rolling cross armbreaker and Chyna is in real trouble all of a sudden. Chyna reverses into a headscissors and here’s Eddie for no apparent reason. She tries a powerbomb but Lita reverses into a horrible looking rana for two. And then a powerbomb by Chyna ends this clean. Nothing from Eddie other than standing there and Chyna more or less didn’t break a sweat.

Rating: D. This was supposed to be the big showdown? Chyna destroyed Lita here and made her look like a joke. This was Chyna’s last match in the company as she was taken off TV and the title was held up. She held the title until November anyway so there simply were no title matches for about six months. In short, Chyna destroyed the division and it took Trish and Lita to bring it back to whatever it was. Oh and this match was awful.

Chyna would go to Japan for awhile and do nothing of note. After going a bit insane, Chyna would make a one night return to wrestling in TNA, at Sacrifice 2011.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

This should be….interesting. Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl. Those exact words. TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason. Chyna looks like Captain America. We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course. The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry. Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd. Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor. Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in. Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna. Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move. Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to. Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two. Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time. Jeff takes over again and says it’s over. Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes. Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff. Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no. Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring. Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner. Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT. That has to be better than the powerbomb. Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap. Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle. While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do. Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it. The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory. Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

Chyna is certainly an interesting case. She reached a point in 1999 where she stopped being a female wrestler and started being a wrestler who happened to be female. She was VERY over for awhile before going nuts and thinking she was way more valuable than she really was. I think she reached her peak as far as success, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t very talented in her own right. The things she accomplished can’t be overlooked and the fact that no one has gotten close ever since says a lot.

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Today it’s RHYNO! RHYNO! RHYNO!

Rhyno started in the indies near Canada, joining forces with Christian Cage and Sexton Hardcastle, who would later become known as Edge and Christian. He would eventually get a spot on Raw as a jobber. From November 6, 1995.

Terry Richards vs. Henry O. Godwin

Richards takes him into the corner and hammers away but misses a charge. A belly to back suplex and elbow drop have Richards in trouble. Godwin sends him into the buckle and rips at Richards’ face for good measure. The announcers spend the whole match talking about Henry Godwin vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley, which to be fair is what you should do in a match like this. The Slop Drop (reverse DDT) gets an easy pin to complete Henry’s squash.

We’re going to skip ahead several years here as Rhyno spent most of the next several years in the indies and Germany where there isn’t a ton of video. We’ll pick things up in ECW, where Rhyno appeared on the third episode of ECW on TNN, from September 10, 1999.

Rhyno vs. Super Crazy

Before the ECWites start complaining, yes I know that’s the WWE spelling of it and that’s how I spell it. Get over it. Speed vs. power here. Crazy moves as fast as he can but his springboard moonsault press is caught in a powerslam for two. Rhyno is brand new here. He misses a charge and Crazy hits a springboard missile dropkick and a leg lariat of the same kind of two.

Gertner keeps trying to order Mexican food. Out to the floor and Rhyno is knocked into the crowd. HUGE Asai moonsault takes Rhyno out. Back in the ring and Rhyno starts up the power offense. Crazy comes back with a tornado DDT for two. Selling and being on offense for an extended period weren’t things commonly done in ECW. A moonsault gets knees and another powerslam gets two. Crazy counters a powerbomb into a rana for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here with Crazy moving around quite well. The ECW midcard was usually very solid and this was one of their better periods. That being said, I eventually got tired of Tajiri vs. Crazy which happened for months on end. Decent little match here, although the ending was pretty weak. To be fair, Rhyno was brand new at this point so he didn’t have his whole deal down yet.

Rhyno was a big enough deal that he was in the main event of November to Remember 1999, ECW’s biggest show of the year.

Rhyno/Justin Credible/Lance Storm vs. Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/Raven

Literally, we see RVD celebrating and then Rhyno’s music is playing. At least we get to look at Dawn Marie. Francine comes out in a bikini. Ok then. Raven and Dreamer are tag champions at this point. Sandman’s entrance effectively kills five minutes of the show. Why is this a big match? Not important. Why are they fighting? Not important. Why are these people teaming together? Not important.

Actually, I don’t think any of these feuds/matches have been explained. Not important I guess. So with like 5 minutes, the heels don’t bother jumping Raven and Dreamer at all. Brilliant there guys. It’s a good sign when you can walk around for the length of Enter Sandman. We’re already past the prayer. Tommy has a case around hits elbow. Wasn’t he supposed to retire? We kill more time by doing entrances.

Seriously nearly fifteen minutes have passed since the end of the previous match. Hey it’s a bell and we’re going to get a match! Sandman vs. Rhyno start us off since Justin makes a fast tag when he sees who is starting for the faces. And we stall. Raven won’t tag Dreamer. The showdown here is Sandman vs. Credible but we don’t get it yet due to Credible running. Credible had allegedly run Sandman out of ECW to WCW where he sucked for the most part.
We actually have something close to a wrestling match for a little bit. You can tell this is the super show. Storm vs. Sandman is a weird pairing to say the least. I’m not sure if Rhyno had the Gore or not yet. Raven punches Dreamer to get the hot tag. Apparently he does have the Gore as he uses a bad one on Raven. Yep it’s a big brawl. They lasted all of 7 minutes without one. That has to be a record for a main event here.

DDT to Credible gets two. Raven and Dreamer working together is weird and just as I say that Raven drop toe holds him into a chair. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! The Gore hits Storm and Sandman has a cane. The girls go at it for a bit. Dawn isn’t wearing underwear. Nice. Raven possibly accidently canes Sandman and Credible hits the Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: F+. This is the main event of the biggest show of the year and it doesn’t even break ten minutes? This felt like a total filler match and nothing more. Does this actually change anything? Raven is a bad guy. Is this supposed to be like surprising or something? Seriously, why was this on last? With RVD and Taz at least it would have felt huge. This feels like just another match. I have no idea what Heyman was thinking back then, but it couldn’t have been coherent.

Rhyno would win the TV Title at Cyberslam 2000 and defend it against Sandman at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhyno

We hear about how Sandman has never held this title, which should imply he wins it here. That would make sense of course, so I’m betting against him. His entrance is always cool, but it’s a glorified way to kill 3 minutes. That being said, it’s still completely awesome and I’m hardly complaining.

We go straight to it after a four and a half minute intro. This is the third attempt at this match so it’s a long time coming. Joey admits that this is going to be a fight and not a match, which is about what I expected. There’s your first table. The fans want Sandman to screw him up. Could we please wait until we’re in a hotel for that? This is back when Rhino was still insane and awesome looking so he’s a big favorite.

He misses a shoulder block/spear thing though and crashes through a table. Sandman gets a piledriver for two on a table. Since it didn’t work he does it again. Here’s Sandman’s wife to beat up Jack Victory and Corino stops her. Sandman takes a piledriver on the ramp…and Lori takes a piledriver from the apron through a table which was one of the most played spots in ECW’s following history. For some reason her being dragged with her feet crossed is making me laugh. Sandman picks her up and gets Gored through a table to end it.

Rating: D+. Another wild brawl with Sandman getting his teeth kicked in for the most part. It did its job of making Rhyno look like a tough guy though it was too short and of course had too much interference. Again though, did you expect anything more? This just wasn’t anything special and it came off like another big mess. Decent little brawl though.

Since RVD never lost the TV Title due to his broken ankle, he received a rematch for the title at Anarchy Rulz 2000.

TV Title: Rhyno vs. Rob Van Dam

The whole RVD never got beat and Rhyno is the bigger and better champion is decided here apparently while Justin Credible is main eventing another PPV. Rhyno charges while RVD is doing his spin kick to his name. We immediately go to the floor and I’m not sure if there was a bell yet. This is another of those big brawls that doesn’t really prove anything at all but the fans love them so they kept happening.

The lights are weird here as things are really dark. It’s likely the company just couldn’t afford it I guess. Van Dam hits an over the ropes dive to take out Rhyno. The idea here is RVD’s usual stuff isn’t working so he’s having to hit and run. The skateboard dropkick hits in the corner and the challenger is dominating. Cyrus calls the fans troglodytes. It must be a Canadian thing.

Rhyno hits a middle rope clothesline to kill RVD and take over. And it’s table time. You knew it was coming. Rhyno hits a chinlock as Alfonzo blows his whistle in time with the RVD chants. Five Star gets two and he’s stunned. The Gore hits and there’s the piledriver through the table. Fonzie hits Rhyno with a chair to set up the Van Daminator.

Van Terminator misses thanks to Justin interfering for no apparent reason and it hits Fonzie. Rhyno hits a running spinebuster through the table and then a piledriver on a chair ends it. I always hated that move for him as he’s a power guy using a move that Jerry Lawler used a lot. Never got that.

Rating: D+. You know for a big clash, this was pretty weak. RVD loses….why? Heyman wouldn’t put the spotlight on him because of guys like Justin? This wouldn’t have saved the company but it would have given them a better chance. This was a pretty weak match that didn’t feel special. It’s not really that good and while it’s entertaining, this should have been a main event somewhere instead of a throwaway match. But that would be logical booking which didn’t exist around this time so there we are.

I’ll skip Rhyno winning the ECW World Title at Guilty As Charged 2001 because the match is only about 45 seconds long. He would be in the WWF almost immediately and hook up with Edge and Christian as a loose alliance. One of his first major matches would be at Backlash 2001 for Raven’s Hardcore Title.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

Rhyno is champion. This is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever so let’s see if it lives up to its hype. Rhyno tries a Gore immediately but Raven drop toeholds him into the stop sign. Trashcan shot gets two. Rhyno takes over with a running shoulder in the corner and the beating begins. Raven gets a trashcan up to block a running charge but it hurts him even more. He falls out to the floor and gets covered for two.

Rhyno sets up the steps and puts Raven in a chair. He tries a run up the stairs to set up a dive, only to crush the chair. Raven uses the same setup but gets a clothesline off the steps for two. Back inside for half a second as Rhyno takes over again. Raven gets his head taken off by a trashcan lid and a sign shot gets two. Back into the ring and Rhyno hits him with a shopping cart. Whatever works I guess.

Drop toehold puts Rhyno into the cart and down he goes. A bunch of sign shots take Rhyno down and a LOUD one does it again. Bulldog out of the corner gets two. Rhyno picks up the shopping cart but Raven gets a trashcan shot in to have the cart fall on Rhyno for two. Cart goes into Rhyno’s ribs but Rhyno gets a sign shot in to get two. Momentum shifts back and forth a lot in this match. Rhyno tries the Gore into the shopping cart but misses and Rhyno is stuck inside the cart. We go to a replay of it and during that the Gore ends Raven. That fits the move as the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, which it did there.

Rating: B. Well they were right, this was good. The key thing here is it never got silly. This was more about violence than the weapons if that makes sense. Most of the time there would be comedy spots in something like this but here, it was all about the violence and the brutality out there, making for a far better and more entertaining match.

And then the InVasion happened. Rhyno would be on the Alliance team at the InVasion pay per view, wrestling in the main event known as the Inaugural Brawl.

Inaugural Brawl: Team WWF vs. Team WCW/ECW

WWF – Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Kane, Undertaker
WCW/ECW – Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Rhyno, Dudley Boys

All three Alliance bosses get entrances. Now Vince gets an entrance. It’s been over 12 minutes since the last match ended and we’re not even to the wrestlers’ entrances yet. So yeah for you trivia buffs, this is the other non-ECW PPV that the Dudley Boys main evented. Kane and Taker were still kind of tag partners at this point but not really. So apparently Taker and Kane are balanced out by the Dudley Boyz? Ok then.

Oh and this is just a ten man tag. No special rules or anything like that. And pay no attention to the fact that both Taker and Kane (albeit as a jobber) used to work for WCW. Rhyno makes it the third ECW guy in a row. Talk about a push that died after this. Next is Jericho, who is about as opposite of Rhyno after this show as you could ask of anyone. Stephanie and Jericho was one of the funniest feuds I can ever remember.

Booker is US and World Champion at this time but he would hand the US Title to Kanyon soon after this. This just feels entirely thrown together. Sting is mentioned on a WWF PPV for likely the only time ever. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music is just hilarious. Angle gets a HUGE pop despite going the wrong way down the ramp.

The level he reached about two months from now was insane. DDP is apparently the biggest deal in the Alliance. Dang did they ever jump the gun here. The 9 mentioned start fighting in the aisle and we have Austin. Notice a certain one sidedness here?

Austin and Rhyno start us off. Austin hits a superplex off the top. Sweet goodness. Jericho gets a NICE pop for the tag. Booker, the only one of the WCW/ECW guys to get a legit push in WWF comes in. Angle gets another great pop. This was after the peak the company had a few months earlier, but it was still a huge deal. This evolves into your standard big time tag match with various people beating on each other with no one really controlling for a ton of time.

DDP hits a Stunner on the top rope on Taker to finally get something resembling control. Austin works on a wristlock on Booker. There’s something you don’t see everyday. We’ve been at this for about ten minutes now and there hasn’t been any long term control. There isn’t much to say here either though as it’s exactly what you would expect it to be. Heyman is awesome at being completely evil when he has to be.

Angle is in some trouble here and the Spinarooni hits. Page hits a spinning powerbomb on Angle which is one of my favorite moves. So after nearly 20 minutes we get to the traditional face in peril sequence of the match. We go old school with Austin getting the tag but the referee didn’t see it. I love things like that. Diamond Cutter on Angle and it gets NO reaction. Cole of course calls it a neck breaker while Ross, 10 seconds after it, says the name right.

And here is the brawl that you knew was coming. Rhyno hits the Gore on Booker and Taker finally gets his hands on DDP again. Chokeslam to Page. Booker and Austin fight on the floor while the WCW referee gets a Last Ride. Taker and DDP go into the crowd while Austin’s knee is messed up after going into the steps. Kane is fighting both Dudleys.

That’s how you can tell Taker is a bigger deal than Kane: when Taker did that, they got their own match. It’s table time. Kane hits a chokeslam through the announce table on D-Von. He got him UP there too. Rhyno and Bubba put Kane through the Spanish Announce Table. Good to see a tradition still alive. Jericho puts Rhyno through the table the Dudleyz set up. Booker and Angle are the only guys still conscious. Oh and Bubba also.

The referee is still looking at Austin’s knee. Yes I’m listing a lot of play by play but you have to here so you know what’s going on. Angle fights off Booker and Bubba with an ankle lock and the Angle Slam, back when it was a good finisher, respectively. And there goes the referee. Cue the finish. Vince grabs the WWF Title and throws it to Angle. Shane gets it though and down goes Vince.

It’s Booker vs. Angle now. Angle hits his pair of finishers on him, Austin throws the referee in, kicks Angle in the head, Stunner, pin, WCW/ECW wins. Austin turned heel again, shocking JR despite him having done the same thing TWO AND A HALF MONTHS EARLIER. Austin and the three Alliance leaders have beers to end the show.

Rating: B. This did something I didn’t think it did: it made the far weaker WCW/ECW team look legit. This was all about making WWF look like they were in danger and it did that. WWF never had the advantage in the whole match until the very end. WCW/ECW controlled this as they should have. Austin turning heel had to be done given the totally rushed nature of this angle but that’s neither here nor there. The match wasn’t terrible either, so I’d say this was a success. Not a classic or anything, but a success.

Rhyno would get a US Title shot against old rival Tajiri at Unforgiven 2001.

US Title: Rhyno vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is champion. JR doesn’t get how Tajiri can date an Alliance chick in Torrie. Common sense never was Ross’ strong suit. Tajiri fires off some kicks and chops but the fans don’t care. To be fair this is a filler match between the Rock match and Austin vs. Angle. Rhyno gets in a shot and we hit the chinlock. Big spinebuster gets two. Rhyno goes after Torrie and loads up a Gore but Tajiri kicks him HARD in the face to break it up. Tornado DDT is countered so there’s an Octopus Hold and an attempted Tarantula. Buzzsaw Kick misses and a suplex sets up the Gore to give Rhyno the title.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but it wasn’t that awful. It needed to be on Smackdown as far as quality but at the same time it did let them have a buffer between the title matches which is a good idea. Also it’s not like there was much to see here so a nacho break was a good idea. Why did Tajiri want to fight here though?

Rhyno would have to have neck surgery in late 2001, putting him out for over a year. We’ll pick things up in 2003 at Wrestlemania XIX where Rhyno is teaming with Chris Benoit in a Smackdown Tag Team Title match.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas and Benjamin are defending here. This is Benoit’s reward for having the match of the year against Angle two months earlier, followed by a feud with the freaking FBI while Kevin Nash got world title shots on PPV. I’m sure HHH has NOTHING to do with this right? It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Benoit vs. Guerrero for a chop off. They collide in the middle of the ring with both guys going down. Rhyno comes in to face Eddie and gets two off a powerslam.

Off to Shelton who pounds Rhyno down before hitting an elbow to the face for two. Off to Haas for a double tag team by the champions on Rhyno. Rhyno throws Haas around with ease and it’s off to Benoit for more chops in the corner. A snap suplex gets two as does its belly to back cousin. Back to Rhyno vs. Benjamin as the announcers talk about Haas and Benjamin having stage fright.

Eddie comes in and dropkicks Rhyno down before it’s back to Benoit for more chopping on his fellow dead guy. Eddie snapmares him down and loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Benoit run over to the corner for some crotching and a superplex. Guerrero comes right back with a brainbuster for two as Haas breaks up the cover again. Off to Chavo who fires off some fast clotheslines to the champions, only to get caught in Rolling Germans by Benoit.

Benjamin comes in off a blind tag and superkicks Chris down for two. Eddie tags himself in and collides with Benoit to put both guys down. Shelton comes in to work on Benoit some more and a legdrop gets two. Eddie breaks it up with a Frog Splash but Chavo tags himself in, only to be suplexed down by Haas. Rhyno comes in for some Gores including one to Chavo, but Benjamin comes in (I have no idea if he was legal) and steals the retaining pin on Chavo.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it had no business being on Wrestlemania. This could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and no one would have noticed the difference. Rhyno and Benoit were just thrown together while the Guerreros were a regular team and former champions. Not bad here but not Wrestlemania worthy.

Rhyno would get back in the swing of things by the end of the summer, getting a US Title shot at Summerslam 2003.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Rhyno hits a running shoulder to Eddie’s ribs in the corner and powerslams him down for two but Benoit comes back with a German suplex. A belly to back gets two on Tajiri but Eddie makes another save. Benoit is suplexed to the floor and Eddie is left alone with Tajiri, only to have the challenger monkey flip Eddie down for two. Rhyno comes back in and sends Tajiri to the floor but Benoit wants to beat up Eddie himself, triggering a brawl between challengers.

Rhyno gets control again and superplexes Eddie down for two but Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head. Tajiri snaps off the handspring elbow for two on Chris but Rhyno sends Tajiri to the floor, only to have Eddie headscissor him out to the floor. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner for two and it’s Tajiri in again for some hard kicks. Eddie hooks the Lasso From El Paso (Liontamer crossed with the Texas Cloverleaf) on Tajiri but Benoit stops Rhyno from making the save with the Crossface.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Tajiri catches a charging Benoit in the Tarantula and the distraction lets Eddie get the US Title to shield himself from Rhyno’s Gore. Tajiri breaks up the Frog Splash but gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Benoit Swan Dives Rhyno but Tajiri makes a last second save. Tajiri and Benoit fall to the floor and Eddie frog splashes Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B+. This was non-stop action for about eleven minutes and incredibly entertaining as a result. It’s a great example of how wrestling and action can be so much more interesting than whatever drama the McMahons have going on at the moment. Watching these four make save after save is WAY more fun than hearing about Bischoff forcing himself on Linda or Stephanie being FURIOUS with Sable over whatever affair her dad is having this month.

We’ll skip 2004 as Rhyno was stuck in the lower card. Instead we’ll move forward to 2005 where Rhyno went to TNA and was put in the main event scene almost immediately. He would receive a World Title shot at Unbreakable.

NWA World Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

This is No DQ and Raven is defending. Raven brings in his shopping cart full of weapons as is his custom. The weapons are brought in almost immediately and Rhyno bails. He finds a kendo stick from somewhere but stalls more anyway. Raven’s Rules include falls count anywhere apparently. They both have sticks and it’s time for a duel. I don’t think Thesz and Brisco ever did anything like that other than that one show in Boston back in 63. Rhyno knocks him down and chokes with something we can’t see. Apparently it was a nunchuck.

Raven comes back with a pizza cutter to bust Rhyno open. The fans chant that they want pizza. WELL GO BUY IT YOU FREAKING TIGHTWADS! You didn’t pay for a ticket so go buy yourselves a slice! They head to the floor and Raven rams him into a keg. WHY IS THERE A BEER KEG? Either way Rhyno is busted open and Raven finds a ladder. Rhyno hits him with the keg and Raven hits him with the kendo stick. Some cane shots to the back get two.

Raven puts on an ankle lock but Rhyno makes a rope. He slugs Bird Boy to the floor and pops him in the back with a chair a few times. Back inside and Raven is busted open by a garbage can shot. Rhyno does a Joe Face Wash in the corner but Raven grabs the foot for the ankle lock again. Rhyno shrugs that off and pulls out the staple gun. He staples the head of Raven, right on the cut. They didn’t even do that back in Boston in 63.

Rhyno goes up but misses a splash, hitting a chair instead. They slug it out with Raven taking over via the discus lariat. A knee lift puts Rhyno down in the corner and there’s the bulldog for two. Rhyno fights back and here’s Cassidy Riley (Raven worshipper) to help but his distraction means Raven’s DDT only gets two. Rhyno sets up the ladder against a chair like a ramp and then pounds away in the corner on Raven in front of it. If you don’t know what’s coming here, you’re an idiot. That only gets two and both guys are spent.

Rhyno seesaws the ladder into Raven’s face and the champ is in even more trouble than he was before. That also gets two so Rhyno brings the shopping cart inside. This is starting to look like their Backlash 2001 Hardcore Title match which is a good thing. Raven rams him into the cart and avoids the Gore, sending it into the cart. That’s right out of the 01 match and here’s Jarrett. He loads up a belt shot but Jeff Hardy comes down to take the belt away. Raven DDTs Jarrett and Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B-. Decent brawl here but it was too messy for my tastes. Raven was a good champion but him being off TV makes him mostly forgotten. That’s a shame too because he breathed some fresh air into the main event scene. He would lose the title four days later in Canada at some other NWA event, likely because the NWA thought it was a good idea. Anyway, decent match but nothing great.

Rhyno would be entered into a gauntlet match at Bound For Glory 2005 for a shot at the World Title later in the night.

Gauntlet For The Gold

This is kind of like the Royal Rumble as everyone comes in after I think a minute and it’s over the top eliminations. The winner gets Jarrett immediately thereafter. Joe and Truth are the first two entrants. Oh ok these two go for two minutes and then every entrant is one minute. Got it. Truth dances for about 20 seconds to make fun of the Polynesian dance stuff earlier.

There’s no contact until 46 seconds in when Joe punches him in the face. Off to some Facewashes and the running boot. Truth pulls himself to the top and hits a Blockbuster. Downward Spiral puts Joe down and #3 is Sabu who can barely walk. He falls through the middle and bottom rope but has a chair. He BLASTS Truth with it and hits the triple jump moonsault on the same. Air Sabu hits Joe. Remember that there are only one minuet intervals from now on.

Joe throws the chair at Sabu’s legs and Lance Hoyt is in at #4. Joe no sells Hoyt’s punches but can’t no sell a big boot. Abyss is #5 who cleans house and has a staredown with Joe. They chop it out and Abyss grabs him for a chokeslam. Joe grabs HIM for a chokeslam, which is why Joe is awesome. And then Truth breaks it up because he likes to annoy me. Jeff Hardy is #6 and Sabu is busted open. No one has been eliminated yet.

Monty Brown is #7 and he’s limping for some reason. He Pounces Sabu and throws Hardy to the apron, but Hardy pulls him along with him to eliminate both guys. Abyss is almost out but he fights everyone off. #8 is Rhyno who also can barely walk. All of the Monster’s Ball people are in this. Rhyno easily clotheslines Hoyt out and we have five in and two still to go. Kip James (who didn’t wrestle earlier) is #9 and he cleans house. Fameasser to Abyss and AJ is somehow #10, meaning no Raven which is a surprise.

So we have Kip, AJ, Abyss, Joe, Sabu, Truth and Rhyno. AJ goes right after Abyss because he’s just that kind of guy. Apparently Sabu went out off camera somewhere so it’s down to six. Joe pounds on Kip and is the big crowd favorite. Things slow down a bit until AJ hits a big jumping kick to the head of I think Truth. Truth is put onto the apron but he hangs on. Kip charges like an idiot and goes out to get us down to five.

Pele puts Truth down and everyone is down. Abyss talks to Truth, calling him Ronnie. AJ throws Truth over but Kip holds him up from hitting the floor. And never mind as he goes out anyway. So it’s Rhyno, Abyss, AJ and Joe. There’s a solid tag match in there somewhere. AJ somehow explodes on Joe with forearms but gets caught in the choke next to the ropes. Abyss eliminates them both and apparently you win by over the top. Usually it’s a one on one match when it gets down to two. Gore to Abyss and Rhyno tosses him for the quick win.

Rating: C-. Considering that these guys had all fought tonight this wasn’t half bad. AJ had to be gassed after having to stop for about 10 minutes and then start up again. Raven belonged in there instead of freaking Billy Gunn but I think that was part of his feud with management so it made sense I guess. Still though, it was relatively short and the minute time limits weren’t so bad because there weren’t that many people in it.

And now the title match.

NWA World Title: Rhyno vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tito Ortiz is guest referee. Jarrett brings out a casket for no apparent reason. He jumps Rhyno before the belt even comes off and hits a dropkick to put Rhyno down. Out to the floor and Rhyno gets rammed into the announce table and then the casket. Back in a top rope clothesline puts Rhyno down again. He’s had zero offense at all so far. Another top rope clothesline puts the challenger down again so Jeff goes up a third time. Rhyno catches him in chokeslam position but instead throws Jeff into the air and kicks him in the balls.

Gail Kim comes out as the Gore misses. Gail goes up but jumps into the arms of Tito. She tries to slap him so she gets placed on the apron. Guitar shot misses but the second one hits Rhyno square in the face. Rhyno is busted open but it only gets two. Jarrett yells at Ortiz and AMW comes out. There’s another guitar but Ortiz drills both members of AMW. Rhyno Gores Jarrett down and pins him out of nowhere in I think his second offensive move of the match.

Rating: C. The match was nothing great but at the same time, this was Rhyno’s third match of the night and second in a row, plus there was no story to the match but that’s certainly beyond TNA’s control in this case. The match only ran about six minutes and Tito didn’t have much to do with it but again I’m assuming it made more sense with Nash in there. All things considered, this wasn’t bad.

After doing a bunch of meaningless hardcore stuff, Rhyno would get an important hardcore match at Bound For Glory 2006 against Christian Cage. They had been friends but Christian turned on him to set this up.

Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

This is an 8 Mile Street Fight which should be good. Rhyno comes through the crowd and goes straight through the entrance to meet Christian in the parking lot. Christian gets slammed onto a car and thrown into whatever Rhyno can find to throw him into. They climb onto a zamboni machine and Rhyno gets in the driver’s seat. He drives the machine with Christian on top into the arena. Rhyno climbs up to pound on Christian who falls off the machine.

Christian gets away down by the ramp and picks up a fake street lamp, only to get it ripped out of his hands and rammed into his chest. This is total domination so far. Rhyno throws in four chairs and hits Christian with a street lamp before Christian can get to one of the chairs. He loads up the Gore but Christian takes his head off with a chair shot. Rhyno shrugs that off and they go into the crowd with Christian running away even more.

After ramming Christian into some hockey glass they go back to the ring and Rhyno sets up a table at ringside. Back inside and Rhyno suplexes him down and puts up another table in the corner. Christian picks up an 8 Mile Road street sign and CRACKS Rhyno in the head with it. This is the first breather Christian has had. He goes to the floor and pulls out a ladder as Rhyno is busted open and might have another concussion. Christian charges with the ladder but Rhyno drop toeholds him into the ladder.

DDT gets two for Christian and they’re both spent. Rhyno is gone from the concussion and a ladder shot to the head makes it even worse. Christian goes under the ring again and comes up with a straightjacket and another chair. Rhyno gets tied up in the jacket and Christian grabs a pair of chairs to set up the Conchairto but Rhyno moves. Using just his legs and his head he tries a comeback and manages to get Christian down. The referee unhooks the jacket and they fight to the apron in front of the table.

Rhyno PILEDRIVES HIM THROUGH THE TABLE to put both guys down again. THAT gets two so Rhyno loads up the Gore, but Christian moves to send him through the table. It gets two, as does an Unprettier onto the metal part of the broken table. With no idea what else to do, Christian piles up everything on top of Rhyno and hits about eight chair shots onto the pile to crush Rhyno, which FINALLY gets the pin.

Rating: B+. I don’t say this that often, but that was AWESOME. I’m not a fan of the street fights, but this one was really intense with a feeling that someone had to do something big to get the win. The piledriver was awesome, as were the kickouts from Rhyno. Christian finally just pounding the tar out of Rhyno with everything he had until Rhyno couldn’t move an inch was a great finish. Loved this.

Next up was a feud with AJ Styles, with one of their first matches being a last man standing match (thanks Russo) at Final Resolution 2007.

AJ Styles vs. Rhyno

Last man standing but you have to get a pin before the count starts. AJ keeps stealing wins over Rhyno so somehow that means last man standing. Rhyno starts off fast and hammers away. This might be the PPV debut of AJ’s long tights. Rhyno busts out a tope and AJ is reeling early. AJ does his drop down into the dropkick spot. The fans seem split here. Rhyno Hulks Up and beats AJ back again.

AJ pulls the tape off his wrist but as Hebner throws it out, Rhyno takes a low blow. A springboard splash gets a pin and an eight count. AJ pounds him down but a charge results in Rhyno picking him up and dropping him onto the top rope snake eyes style. Out to the floor and AJ hits a flip dive. Quickly back into the ring and AJ gets two. AJ is the heel here but he’s still more popular than Rhyno.

AJ comes off the ropes with a forearm but jumps into a spinebuster for the pin. It only gets about seven. They circle each other and slug it out. Rhyno takes over and loads up a superplex but walks into a sunset bomb for two. TKO gets two for Rhyno. It’s Table Time but Styles manages to crotch Rhyno on the edge of it. Back in the springboard forearm only gets two.

Powerbomb puts AJ down but Rhyno walks into a Pele to put him down. A Gore out of nowhere kills AJ but Rhyno doesn’t cover. Another Gore kills him even deader for the pin and the ten count. That second one looked SICK. AJ could have gotten up but sat down to avoid a third Gore.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the going back and forth came a little too fast. You would see them go down and then be up seconds later. Also they didn’t get particularly violent at all, which makes me question why they went with this as the opener. It was good but you would expect more when you hear the words last man standing.

After a bad feud with James Storm about Rhyno’s alcoholism, Rhyno would go after the World Title again, getting a shot in King of the Mountain at Slammiversary 2008.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode vs. Booker T vs. Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

No one in history has come in as champion and left as champion. Nash is guest enforcer. Everyone gets a video on their way to the ring so this takes a LONG time. Now let’s have big match intros. The entrances for this match have been going over ten minutes already. Nash is the referee holding the belt and we’re FINALLY ready to go. It’s a big brawl all around to start with Rhyno and Christian working on Roode and Booker fighting Joe in the ring.

Scratch the in the ring part as they’ve switched places. Rhyno and Christian destroy Roode with a lot of double teaming but here’s Booker. Booker shoves Christian off the top to the floor and he’s holding his knee. The axe kick and Gore both miss and here’s Joe again to fight Rhyno. Joe gets a running boot and a backsplash for two as Roode makes the save. Roode tries a flying clothesline but Joe just steps to the side. I still love that.

Christian is back in now and the knee looks ok. He hits an inverted DDT on Roode but gets struck down by Joe. Scoop powerslam gets two for Joe. He ties the Canadian in the Tree of Woe and hammers away and is in total control here. Booker trips him up and pulls him to the floor, pounding away out there. Booker comes back in and meets Rhyno with a Book End for a pin. Booker is now eligible to hang the belt and Rhyno is in the box for two minutes.

He’s got the belt now and Nash isn’t happy. The ladder is brought in and Christian hits a baseball slide to send it into the faces of Booker and Joe. Christian sends Roode over the top and here’s Rhyno out of the box. He and Christian go at it even though they’re friends. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Joe trips him up and crotches him against the post. Joe is like screw it and hits a spinning dive to take out Rhyno, Booker and Roode all at once.

Christian is like I can top that and goes on top of the box and dives off to take out all four of those guys. Christian channels his inner Dudley and sets up a table on the floor. Back in the ring Captain Charisma has the ladder but Roode gets a chair from somewhere and pops it against the ladder into Christian’s head for the pin. Roode and Booker are now eligible. Less than thirty seconds later, Rhyno rolls up Roode to become eligible too.

Nash beats up Roode to make sure that he gets in the box along with Cage. Rhyno goes up with the belt but Booker makes the save. Joe hooks a cobra clutch on Booker and Cage is freed from his namesake. He goes on top of the penalty box and hits a frog splash onto Booker to become eligible and send Booker to the box. Roode is out as well. Quick recap: Everyone but Joe is eligible and Booker is in the box.

Roode goes up but Joe suplexes him off the ladder. Now Christian goes up and is taken right down with a big cutter off the ladder. Gore hits Joe and everyone is down. Booker is out of the box and can’t even stand up. Ok maybe he can as he grabs the belt and blasts Nash and Rhyno and Joe and Roode. Down goes Christian too, leaving Booker as the only person conscious. Since he’s mostly a heel though, he stops for a Spinarooni.

Nash comes into the ring and powerbombs Booker off the ladder. That makes sense given that he was provoked. Joe tries a MuscleBuster on Christian but he escapes. Joe knocks Christian through the table from earlier as Roode sets up the ladder. Roode goes up but Joe takes him down with a MuscleBuster. Joe immediately goes up and hangs the belt to retain. That was a fast ending but it was effective and smart.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was a pretty solid King of the Mountain match. I don’t think many people were thinking Joe would lose here, namely due to a lack of an A-List challenger outside of maybe Booker or Christian. The idea here was how does Joe win it and he did a good job of that here. Pretty fun match despite the traditional insane rules this match has.

One more title shot, from Genesis 2009.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Rhyno

Sounds like a weak superhero comic. I still don’t like these tales of the tape. Why do we need to be told again what the main points here are? Also why isn’t this the main event? Oh that’s right: there are more old guys and D-Von in the main event. Rhyno is holding his back, has tape around his head and has blood on his face. He couldn’t even just wash his face?

Rhyno jumps him when the coat is still on. NO reaction for Rhyno shouting to the crowd as this is a very Sting crowd. Rhyno as usual has the Detroit Tigers D on his back which always comes off as cool to me. Cue people suggesting the Guns should join him because it would be AWESOME. The tape is off of Rhyno’s head. About two or three minutes in Sting gets his t-shirt off.

He throws on a bearhug, which isn’t something you would imagine him using. This however is smart as Rhyno’s back is hurt so Sting goes after it. This is a great example of what I always talk about: psychology. Sting’s finishing hold works on the legs and back and Rhyno has a bad back. It would make no sense for Sting to go after Rhyno’s arm would it? Working on his injured back makes sense though. That’s a fine example of psychology.

Belly to belly by Rhyno gets two after he breaks out of the hold. GORE out of nowhere and it gets no reaction at all. Sting hits the floor and I’m puzzled as to the lack of reaction. Rhyno goes up top and misses a splash and there’s the Scorpion. Ever since the late 90s Sting has never really done this move the same. He’s always kind of leaning over Rhyno instead of sitting down. I’ve never gotten why either but it just doesn’t look nearly as effective as it could be otherwise.

Fans loudly booing Rhyno now. He goes for the Gore but his back gives out and Sting hits the Death Drop to retain. I’m still trying to understand the crowd here as they were just completely anti-Rhyno the whole time. Again, and please Vince Russo pay attention: PEOPLE LIKE STING. No matter who you put against him or what you do with him, the people love him.

Rating: D. This would be an ok match on TV or something, but for a PPV, this was very bad. This is supposed to be the match that the title is for on PPV? People were supposed to pay to see this? It could have been an ok match but I don’t get why they had to do the injury angle and such. It just wasn’t entertaining on a PPV main event level. Just didn’t do it at all.

Since TNA is TNA, they decided to have an ECW reunion in 2010. Rhyno was on the card at Hardcore Justice.

Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhyno

Runt is Spike Dudley of course and is nearly bald. This is elimination rules and better not break 8 minutes. Spike hits a dive that is ok after some basic stuff. He plays the role of the pinball of course and I still wonder what Snow has to do with this. Snow hits the trapping headbutts on Rhyno. TNA guys are watching in the back. Why they’re here is beyond me because they’re not wrestling.

Acid Drop to Rhyno is blocked and this needs to end fast. We’re on the floor again and you actually can’t see due to the lighting. The referee goes down and Head drills Rhyno. Spike does the Eddie chair thing by slamming the mat with it and throwing it to Rhyno. He and Snow do the same thing so they’re all down. Oh my head hurts. Acid Drop ends Snow and then the Gore ends the whole thing.

Rating: D. I like Snow but this was just bad. There’s a reason these guys retired: THEY AREN’T THAT GOOD ANYMORE. Rhyno is ok at best and he’s the biggest star by far in this. At least he won I suppose, but this was just random with no point at all. Well at least it’s over and wasn’t that long.

Rhyno would be gone by the end of the year and hit the indies. One stop was JCW and Bloodymania V.

Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong

No countout or DQ. Apparently Kongo has lost over 90lbs since the video was made because he’s billed as 410lbs here and was said to be over 500lbs in the video. Kong is a savage or something close to one. Kong immediately clotheslines him down but Rhyno pops back up. Rhyno hits a decent belly to belly given how fat Kong is but Kong pops back up. Kong misses a charge and flips over the top rope to the floor in a surprising display of balance.

Rhyno dives onto Kong but loses a slugout on the floor. Back in and the fat man (Kongo if you’re not familiar with Rhyno, which makes me wonder why you’re reading this) pounds away and we get the required nerve hold. Rhyno Hulks Up and finally knocks Kong down with shoulders. The Gore hits….for two? I didn’t see that coming. A second Gore again only gets two but the third one hits the buckle, giving Kongo a rollup win out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Kong is a big guy but there’s nothing more to him than that. Also, why would you have a monster come off looking like he can only win on a fluke? Kicking out of two Gores was a nice surprise as the Gore is a very famous finisher. This was short which helped a bit but it didn’t work that well due to Kong being unable to do much.

The next stop was ROH and Rhyno fought at Border Wars 2012 as a mercenary.

Eddie Edwards vs. Rhyno

Before the match, Truth Martini says that Rhyno is a hired mercenary and the newest member of the House of Truth. We got that from the video we just saw. He’s here to clear the path to the world title for Michael Elgin and Roderick Strong by Goring everyone in his way. The fans are of course split because what would an ROH crowd be without annoying chants from the start of the show?

Edwards starts with a wristlock followed by an armdrag into an armbar as we seem to be in for a long match here. Rhyno powers him into the corner and pounds away before running Edwards over with a shoulder block. Edwards fights out of the corner with some chops and a rana to put Rhyno down, followed by a baseball slide to send Rhyno into the barricade. The cameraman goes down somewhere in there and Eddie is a bit stunned. Rhyno hits a HARD shoulder to the ribs in the corner and Edwards is in big trouble.

McGuinness starts talking about fast moving sperm and thankfully Kevin ignores him. Eddie comes back with a quick enziguri, only to be picked up and throws over the top and out to the floor with a loud THUD. Back in and Rhyno stays on the ribs in a smart move. The audio keeps slipping in and out. Off to a bearhug by Rhyno as at least he’s using psychology here. Rhyno loads up another gorilla press but Edwards escapes out and hooks a quick German suplex to put both guys down.

Eddie fires off some chops and superkicks the leg, followed by something close to a Shining Wizard for a close two. The fans are split again because this is REAL WRESTLING, where you cheer for the heels. Edwards avoids a charge to send Rhyno to the floor before hitting an Asai Moonsault, hurting his ribs again in the process. Back in and Edwards hits a missile dropkick for two but walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Gore is blocked with a dropkick and Truth Martini gets up on the apron. He holds up the Book of Truth (foreign object) in the corner but Rhyno has to stop before hitting it, allowing Edwards to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice basic match here with Edwards selling the ribs…..sometimes. He more or less stopped doing anything with them after they got back inside the ring but at least before that things were going well. Rhyno was his usual self here with nothing out of character for him at all. Then again, that’s probably a good thing for a guy like him. Edwards is still rather uninteresting though.

We’ll wrap it up there as there wasn’t much else in ROH for Rhyno and I really don’t want to go through his time in House of Hardcore and Extreme Rising. Rhyno has never been the top guy in a promotion, but he’s a great gatekeeper, meaning he’s a good feud for someone to have before they move onto something bigger. It’s similar to Kane in WWE. Rhyno is a big one dimensional at times, but he’s solid in that dimension.

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Starrcade 1998
Date: December 27, 1998
Location: MCI Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 16,066
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

It’s the biggest show of the year and I don’t know how many people know about it. I don’t remember the same show feeling so different just a year later. Last year Starrcade felt like an event rather than just a wrestling show. This year it feels like it could be a Clash of the Champions TV special instead of the biggest show of the year. I have a very bad feeling about what could be coming here, especially now that I have a fresh memory of how the buildup went. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is all about Goldberg vs. Nash, even though it’s arguably not even the main event.

Tony and company tell us that the Horsemen have been banned from the building tonight as per Eric Bischoff’s orders. They talk about the rest of the card for a bit to kill some time.

First up tonight: a commercial for a QVC special later in the week.

Call the Hotline!

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman is defending and has been trying to defend the title against Mysterio for weeks, only to have the LWO interfere. Juventud is there as the former champion wanting a rematch and LWO leader Eddie Guerrero’s hand picked challenger. Rey stomps on his LWO shirt on the way to the ring. Juvy gets double teamed to start, much to the fans’ delight. He tries to fight back against Kidman but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Mysterio. Kidman whips Rey into the Bronco Buster, even though Juvy was a foot in front of the buckle and had the back of his head driven hard into the corner.

The good guys start slugging it out before nailing Juvy at the same time, only to go at it again. Juvy misses a top rope cross body, allowing Kidman to slam Rey onto Juvy’s chest for two. Guerrera comes back with Mysterio’s sitout bulldog to both guys at the same time before telling the cameraman he’s got it. Mysterio can’t hook a German suplex on Juvy but Kidman clotheslines Guerrera down for two instead.

Kidman is sent to the floor and Juvy backdrops Rey on top of the champion, setting up a big dive to take out both guys. The fans didn’t seem interested for some reason. Back in and Juvy dives again, only to get double dropkicked out of the air. Heenan talks about Bill being here tonight. Tenay: “Clinton?” Heenan: “No Bill Schwartz, an old friend of mine from Cincinnati.” West Coast Pop gets two on Juvy but Kidman comes back with a headlock takeover out of the corner on Juvy with a dropkick to Rey at the same time.

Mysterio is still down as Kidman dives into Juvy’s boots to the face, allowing Rey to pop up and get two on the champion off a slingshot moonsault. Juvy is stood on the apron, allowing Rey to hit a hurricanrana off the top to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and Kidman gets two on Juvy with a layout powerbomb. Juvy hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker for the same on Mysterio before he seds Juvy and Kidman out to the floor. Rey hits a HUGE top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys down but he can barely follow up.

Juvy gets taken down by a springboard hurricanrana from the masked man but walks into a bad looking Juvy Driver for two. Kidman makes a diving save before planing Juvy with the BK Bomb for two. Mysterio is the only one on his feet but he takes Juvy to the floor with another hurricanrana. Kidman has to keep up with the others, hitting a great looking Shooting Star to the floor, taking out both guys in the process. Eddie Guerrero comes out to the ring and pushes Juvy forward to counter a sunset flip. Rey comes in and dropkicks Juvy back into the sunset flip, giving Kidman the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. Awesome opener here as all three guys were going nuts out there. That Shooting Star looked great and the other two were their usual awesome selves. Eddie getting involved makes me think a fourway would have been a better option, but there’s nothing wrong with three guys flying all over the place and firing up the crowd to open up a show.

Post match Eddie yells at Rey and Juvy, saying they’re not LWO material if they can’t beat a creampuff like Kidman. Eddie shoves Juvy down and keeps ripping into Kidman. The champion comes out and offers Eddie a title shot RIGHT NOW. Eddie says let him go get his gear on but Kidman doesn’t want to wait. The match is on, making me wonder what was going to get this spot originally.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Eddie, in street clothes, decks Kidman to get things going and hammers away. A powerbomb gets two on the champion and we hit the abdominal stretch with Juvy helping from the floor. Mysterio breaks that up twice in a row, drawing Eddie to the floor for a jawing session with Rey. Kidman comes back with a slingshot ankle scissors for two before dropkicking Guerrero down.

Eddie nails a chopblock to take over again and puts on a modified leg lock while pulling on Kidman’s arm at the same time. Kidman makes a rope and Rey tries to give him a pep talk. It works well enough as Eddie is sent into the barricade to give the champion a breather. Back in and Kidman hits a quick bulldog before hammering away in the corner. Kidman is on instinct and fumes here, allowing Eddie to counter a weak sleeper with a jawbreaker.

The referee goes to talk to Rey for some reason, allowing Eddie to take off his boot and blast Kidman in the head for a delayed two. The brainbuster looks to set up the Frog Splash but Kidman pops back up with a superplex. Guerrero is up first and dropkicks the knee out again, setting up a leg lock which doesn’t put much torque on the knee. Mysterio and Juvy get in a fight on the floor over Eddie’s shoe and the distraction makes Billy break the hold.

Kidman fights out of a powerbomb and stomps Eddie as hard as he can. A slingshot legdrop gets two but Eddie counters a top rope hurricanrana. Now it’s Eddie putting Kidman on top, only to get shoved down. Eddie’s bodyguard distract the referee, allowing Juvy to crotch Kidman down. Rey does the same to Eddie though, setting up the Shooting Star to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another awesome match here with the story coming through much stronger than in the opening match. Kidman fighting out of desperation was an awesome story with Eddie not being able to back up his months of talk making it even better. All four guys looked good in their matches, but it’s eaten up a lot of time.

Nash vs. Goldberg video. This brings us to one of the biggest problems of the evening: time. We’re at forty minutes into the show, leaving us with about two hours to go and only three announced matches left. Keep that in mind as this show is about to start its downward spiral.

Norman Smiley vs. Prince Iaukea

Yes on Starrcade, in a rematch of something we just saw on Nitro twice this month already. Norman was getting a push around this time but that doesn’t mean you give him a match against the same guy he’s beaten twice in less than three weeks on PPV. Iaukea takes over to start and sends Norman to the floor for a dive off the apon. The announcers ignore most of the match to talk about Flair vs. Bischoff, making this match seem all the more pointless.

Back in and Norman takes control with his amateur stuff and works on something resembling a Kimura. Off to a short arm scissors as Tony talks about Flair’s promos (his word) and the recent heart attack. Smiley drops him ribs first over the top rope but stops for the Big Wiggle. There’s the swinging slam for two before he dances too long, allowing Prince to get a sunset flip for two.

The fans think this is boring so Norman double stomps Iaukea and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Norman dances on the mat a bit. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two on Iaukea and it’s back to the arm. More dancing follows and Prince suplexes the distracted Smiley down for two. Norman puts on a series of freaky looking arm holds before hitting another double stomp.

Prince comes back with what might have been a low blow but Norman rakes the eyes. More dancing ensues and Prince springboards in with a cross body, only to have Smiley roll through for two. Neither guy can get a backslide so Norman slips behind him and puts on the chicken wing, now dubbed Norman’s Conquest, for the submission.

Rating: D-. Smiley was his usual fun self but this belongs on Thunder or Saturday Night. It got nearly TWELVE MINUTES, or more than Eddie’s match got. Norman is a rising star but what good does it do him to have a boring match that he’s won twice already this month? Somehow, this isn’t the oddest choice of a match so far.

Here’s Hall with something to say. I’ve heard he was scheduled to face Bigelow on this show. That makes sense given what happened recently on Nitro, but I never heard it announced on television. Unless it was announced on Saturday Night, that might have been a rumor or dirtsheet announcement. Either way, Hall comes out with an Outsiders shirt on and the fans seem very pleased with the idea.

Scott talks about how 1998 has been a bad year for him in and out of the ring. Tonight his old buddy Kevin Nash has a shot at the biggest title in wrestling. The two of them used to ride the roads together and talk about what that would mean. A little while back, Nash told him to prove himself to Big Kev. Hall doesn’t think he should have to do that, but he does have to prove something to himself. 1999 is going to be his year.

Video on Bam Bam Bigelow, who isn’t wrestling tonight either. This transitions into a video on the threeway betweeo Bigelow, Nash and Goldberg. We’re over an hour into this show now and this is the third video on the main event.

Perry Saturn vs. The Cat

This one isn’t so much strange as they’ve been feuding for awhile now, but who in the world wants to see this match? Miller of course has to give his usual speech and Saturn of course jumps him. Cat runs to the floor for some stalling before teasint walking to the back. He tries to slide back in to go after Saturn but falls at Saturn’s feet instead. Now the beating is on but Miller bails to the floor to stall again. Back in and Cat sweeps the leg and chokes a bit as the fans are dying in a hurry.

Saturn can’t hook the Rings so he wrestles Miller down to the mat. That also goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face and walks around a lot. Saturn comes back with a pair of suplexes for two and a swinging neckbreaker for the same. A top rope ax handle misses and Saturn gets kicked in the face for no cover. Back up and Miller kicks him again but asks Sonny Onoo to come in. Sonny kicks Miller by mistake, allowing Saturn to hit the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my day but I will never understand some things about WCW. For one, why in the world did Sonny Onoo keep a job for so long? Miller could at least talk and got decent later on, but why is he getting this spot on this show? At least Saturn won, finally.

Gene brings out Flair to talk because we haven’t wasted enough time yet. Flair says he’s going to beat up Bischoff and lists off what he’s going to do to every body part.

This sets up a LONG video on Bischoff’s history in WCW since the NWO arrived, his abuses of power and his feud with Flair. Again, we’ve already paid for the show so why do we need to get fired up for the matches? This eats up over three minutes and I believe is the exact same video we saw on Nitro.

Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell come in and threaten Konnan but Lex Luger makes the save. Luger vs. Steiner was another rumored match for this show like Hall vs. Bigelow.

And now, perhaps the most random wrestling match in the history of pay per view.

Brian Adams/Scott Norton vs. Jerry Flynn/Fit Finlay

During the video, Tony has been given word that the main event will be No DQ. Adams throws Finlay around to start but Fit nails him in the ribs. Off to Norton who snaps off a powerslam on Finlay and a double clothesline to both opponents. Flynn kicks him in the chin and it’s back to Adams to slow things down. Adams kicks him down and stomps away but gets kicked right back, allowing Finlay to come back in and hammer on Brian.

Adams pops back up with a piledriver as the fans are just SILENT. Norton comes back in and cranks on the neck before hitting a splash in the corner. The NWO takes turns on Finlay with the only interesting move being a gorilla press gutbuster from Adams. Fit makes the ice cold tag to Flynn and everything breaks down. Flynn is distracted by Vincent, allowing Norton to powerbomb him in half for the pin.

Rating: S. For Starrcade, not Saturday Night. Get your shows right for your nine minute squashes.

Here’s Bischoff for ANOTHER FREAKING INTERVIEW. Eric says hi to the Clintons and imitates a Bill Clinton speech by saying how profoundly sorry he is for the pain he’s caused the Flair family. He feels sorry for Flair’s heart attack but the reality is Ric has to fight tonight because he can’t save a dime. Flair paid for all those jets and limos but Bischoff got his boss to pay for his limos and jets.

TV Title: Konnan vs. Chris Jericho

Konnan took the title from Jericho in November but Jericho stole the belt itself on Monday. Jericho gets in a few decent jokes about Konnan not keeping his pants up. He also calls himself the man’s regret, every woman’s pet, the man with the voice and the Jericholics’ choice. We’re treated to part of Konnan’s rap video before we’re ready to go.

Feeling out process to start with a shoulder putting the champion down. Konnan comes right back with a seated dropkick but walks into a regular dropkick from Jericho. Chris goes up top but Konnan grabs his own crotch for a distraction. They head outside with Jericho sending Konnan into the barricade to take over. Back in and Chris poses a lot before getting two off a suplex and the Arrogant Cover.

We hit the chinlock on the champion for a bit before Jericho goes up top and dives into the boot. The rolling lariat and a jackknife cover get two on Jericho before Konnan throws him out to the floor. Jericho is sent ribs first into the steps for two but Jericho counters the X Factor into a Liontamer attempt. The referee gets bumped and Jericho hits Konnan with the belt for two. That goes nowhere so Konnan hooks the Tequila Sunrise for the submission to retain.

Rating: D. This felt like they were painting by numbers, going through the motions or whatever other term you prefer for a match that was as basic as you could ask for. Konnan was all talk at this point and the matches just weren’t backing it up at all. Jericho knew he was leaving in 1999 at this point and really didn’t care at all.

Giant is ready for Page tonight and threatens Lee Marshall with violence.

Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff

Bischoff immediately heads to the floor but Flair gets his hands on him against the barricade. The beating is on quickly and they head inside for some choking in the corner. There’s the knee drop to the head and a right hand, which Flair says is for his wife. Ric goes after the knee in the corner but Bischoff gets in a kick to the head that knocks Flair all the way to the floor. He sends Flair into the barricade as Tony gets in the semi-infamous line about how anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Bischoff is a force in that sport.

Flair is busted open as Eric hammers away in the corner. Ric Hulks Up but another kick to the head puts him right back down. It’s nothing that a low blow won’t stop though as Flair takes over. Two more low blows put Eric in the corner and Ric chops away before shoving the referee down. Shattered Dreams has Bischoff screaming and a pair of suplexes make it even worse. The Figure Four goes on but here’s Curt Hennig to nail Flair with an object, giving Bischoff the pin, thereby killing the audience deader than dead. I mean they go SILENT.

Rating: F. For failure. That’s what this match was: a complete failure. This match went against the basic idea of wrestling: the villain runs his mouth and then gets beaten down by the hero at the end of the day. How does this help anyone other than Eric Bischoff? It ticks the fans off, doesn’t make the villain look right, and makes Flair look stupid. That’s fine once in awhile, but it’s the problem for WCW: the hero almost never got his day. It was always a screwjob of some form and the hero was supposed to fight another day. Eventually the fans got tired of waiting though and these moments stopped meaning anything.

As for the match itself, there’s really no logic to it either. Bischoff had WAY too much offense here as a single kick was enough to knock Flair all the way out to the floor. Last year Larry Zbyszko was staggered by some of his kicks but didn’t go out to the floor as a result. The heart attack angle was mentioned in passing by Tony and nothing more, making that almost entirely pointless. But hey, people think Eric Bischoff is a tough guy so everybody is happy right?

We recap Giant vs. Diamond Dallas Page, which is really just an offshoot of Page vs. Hart. Page of course has bad ribs coming in, due to a chokeslam off the stage a few weeks back.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Giant

They spit at each other to start before Page drives in some shoulders. An early Diamond Cutter attempt goes nowhere but Page does clothesline him out to the floor. The offense is short lived though as Giant clotheslines DDP down with ease. A headbutt puts Page into the crowd but he finds a trashcan to blast Giant in the head. Again the advantage is short lived though as Giant whips him into the steps and then the post.

Giant throws him back inside and Page bangs his knee up on the landing. The big man lays on the leg to slow things down as the fans just do not care after the result of the previous match. Page rakes the eyes to escape but gets crushed in the corner to stop his comeback cold. We hit the bearhug as this match is dying right in front of my eyes. Giant plants him with a powerslam but pulls Page up twice in a row. Back to the bearhug for a bit before Giant picks him up for a double choke backbreaker.

Giant still won’t cover though and gets caught in a running DDT to put both guys down. The referee gets bumped as well, drawing out Bret Hart who hits Giant with a chair by mistake. That’s only good for two as Giant easily kicks out. Page scores with a pair of top rope clotheslines, only to dive into a choke. Giant takes him to the corner for the super chokeslam, but Page dives at him into a swinging Diamond Cutter for the pin out of nowhere. Page’s shocked look when he hit it is great.

Rating: C-. The match was boring but the ending helped it a lot. That jumping Diamond Cutter is one of my favorite endings ever in WCW and it still holds up really well. I’m not sure why this wasn’t Page vs. Bret for the title, but to be fair we had seen that match several times before so it was kind of nice to see something new.

Yet another Goldberg vs. Nash video.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash

Goldberg is defending and it’s No DQ. Nash won the shot by winning World War 3. They’re treating this like it’s a big showdown ala Hogan vs. Warrior in 1990 but it just doesn’t work with these guys. They pose at each other to start with the fans pretty split. A lockup takes both guys into the corner and the referee splits them up. They circle each other some more until Goldberg ducks a right hand and suplexes Nash, sending him out to the floor.

Back in and Nash takes him into the corner for all of his usual stuff but Goldberg just shoves him down. The champion chokes away but Nash tries a freaking cross armbreaker of all things. Goldberg laughs his way out of that and tries his ankle hold, sending Nash to the ropes for another reset. Goldberg knocks Nash to the mat with right hands but gets pulled face first into the middle buckle.

The spear connects out of nowhere but Goldberg can’t pick him up for the Jackhammer. The delay allows Nash to hit him low and both guys are down again. A bad looking side slam gets two for Nash and he hammers in forearms to the back. The swinging neckbreaker puts Nash down again and there’s the superkick for good measure. Goldberg muscles him up into a powerslam for two but here’s Disco Inferno to distract the champion. That goes as well as you would expect so here’s Bigelow to get beaten down as well. Scott Hall of course sneaks in with a tazer to Goldberg’s chest, setting up the Jackknife to give Nash the title.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t the worst thing in the world but it feels like such an anti-climactic way to end the Streak. After all that, it’s an ending that doesn’t make a ton of sense and almost makes Nash look like a heel, even though the fans popped for the ending. I’d assume it’s because it’s a big moment but they still liked Nash no matter what. It felt like a pro-Nash pop rather than an anti-Goldberg one as the fans weren’t booing Goldberg throughout the rest of the match.

Nash isn’t sure what happened. He didn’t see Hall do what he did and Hall was out of there immediately after.

Overall Rating: D-. Where do I even start? While last year’s show was decent with a bad ending, this one was just bad for the last two hours. This show ranged from bad to downright stupid at times, with some of the most random matches I can ever remember seeing on a major pay per view. Consider the following list of people who either didn’t wrestle or appear on the show.

Bret Hart, Scott Steiner, Booker T., Scott Hall, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Lex Luger, Wrath, Bam Bam Bigelow, Kanyon, Raven, Buff Bagwell

All of those guys have gotten significant television time in the weeks leading up to the show, but none of them could get on the card. Instead we had guys like Jerry Flynn, Scott Norton and Prince Iaukea wrestling instead. The opening two matches are good, but there’s really no reason for one midcard story to eat up forty minutes of an under three hour card. That leaves you two hours for six matches, but then they wasted even more time on the constant videos and interviews.

That’s all before the booking of the show. I can understand the Nash move as the streak had to end somewhere. I don’t care for it for the most part, but there could have been far worse ideas for them to go with. Nash winning the title isn’t a stretch as he’s been one of the biggest starts in the company since the day he debuted. Yeah he booked himself to be champion, but at the end of the day it’s not like Glacier just broke Goldberg’s streak.

Then there’s the white elephant in the room. I really don’t know how you can argue that Bischoff should have gone over Flair no matter how you look at it. That should have been the biggest layup of the year but instead it’s the exact opposite of what it should have been. Yeah things would change in the near future, but the idea of getting the win later doesn’t matter. It should have been at Starrcade with the two having been built up for months. Instead it made Bischoff look good with Flair coming off like a raging lunatic that can’t get the easiest win in the world anymore.

Overall the show was only a step above a disaster. The worst part is that it wasn’t even all that bad, but it was painfully dull. Most of these matches just don’t line up with the stories they’ve been showing on television and it feels like we’re supposed to get to the big show later on. It’s not even that the show is bad, but it just doesn’t work at all, save for two pretty meaningless matches to open the show.

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Today is Billy Kidman. He fought Hulk Hogan a few times.

 

Kidman started in 1994 so here’s a match from an NWA show in 1995.

Rik Ratchet vs. Billy Kidman

There’s some trash talk before the match but I can’t understand any of it because of the bad acoustics. Kidman appears to be the face here. Ratchet chops away in the corner to start but walks into a backdrop to send him outside. Back in and Kidman kicks him in the chest for two as this is one sided so far.

Ratchet does a Flair Flip in the corner and Kidman clotheslines him out of the air on the way down for two. A slingshot legdrop gets the same and Rik wants a handshake. That earns him a crotching on the top rope for two but Ratchet’s manager trips Kidman up. Kidman goes after him but gets hit with some kind of a stick, which I guess is a DQ as the match just stops.

Rating: D+. Yeah this wasn’t much to see but Kidman was a rookie so what can you expect? The match being a glorified squash is kind of surprising but at least it was short. Ratchet didn’t show me anything either and to the best of my knowledge he didn’t go anywhere after this.

Kidman would make his Nitro debut on June 10, 1996.

Steven Regal vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is a total rookie here. I think this is his WCW debut. Regal kills him for a bit but Kidman gets some stuff in and busts out a 450 (kind of) which misses. Regal puts on the start of a Liontamer but steps on Kidman’s head instead for the tap in less than a minute.

Here’s a slightly more competitive match from Nitro on March 17, 1997.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman

This doesn’t even last a minute with the Crossface ending it. That hadn’t been his finisher long at all at this point.

Uh….maybe Nitro isn’t Kidman’s show. Let’s try Thunder from February 5, 1998.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

Juvy takes over with a quick headscissors but an attempt at a second is countered into a reverse sitout powerbomb. The fans yell at Lodi as Kidman stops Juvy’s speed with shots to the back. Kidman reverse supelxes Guerrera onto the apron but Juvy comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to put Kidman on the floor. A rana takes Kidman off the apron and back to the floor but Juvy might have hurt his knee in the process.

The knee is fine enough to try a springboard legdrop but Juvy only hits canvas. Kidman goes to the middle rope but gets caught by a Frankensteiner for two. A nothern light suplex gets the same for Guerrera and the Juvy Driver looks to set up the 450. Juvy has to dropkick Lodi down instead though and Kidman hits a quick bulldog and the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but given how fast paced this was in the short amount of time it’s impossible to not be impressed. Kidman was great in the ring when he had someone who could go move for move with him and Juvy certainly fits that bill. For five minutes this was some high level stuff.

That worked so let’s try another Thunder from April 9, 1998.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

This should be good. Kidman takes over with some forearms to the back to start but Psychosis slams the back of Kidman’s head into the mat for two. Psychosis sends him to the floor and hits a big dive over the top rope which almost missed badly. Back in and Kidman hits the sitout spinebuster but stops to scratch. A sunset flip gets two for Psychosis but Kidman comes back with a bulldog while climbing the corner.

Kidman loads up a superplex and here’s Chris Jericho of all people. Psychosis shoves Kidman off and hits a spinwheel kick but there’s no referee. A victory roll still gets no count for Psychosis as Jericho still has the referee. Psychosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but here’s La Parka with a weak chair shot to knock him to the mat. Kidman hits the Seven Year Itch for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and it could give Russo a run for his money with the overbooking, but Psychosis continues to look good. It’s nice to see him get a story, even one as minor as the Flock fighting for Lodi’s honor. Nice little match here but the fans didn’t care.

Now I think we can try another Nitro, like this one from September 14, 1998.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy is defending. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as things start fast. Some chops take Kidman down and Juvy rains down right hands in the corner to take over early. A missile dropkick sends Kidman to the floor as the fans are way into this. Kidman comes back in with a slingshot headscissors followed by a powerslam for two. We hit the chinlock on the champion but he fights up and gets a headscissors of his own.

A cross body from Juvy sends both guys to the floor and we take a break. Back with Guerrera getting two off a rollup but getting crushed by a slingshot legdrop. We go back to the chinlock for a bit before a lifting powerbomb (Sky High) takes Guerrer down for two. A wheelbarrow suplex gets the same but Juvy counters a belly to back suplex into a German suplex for two.

Guerrera goes up for a not great looking hurricanrana for another near fall before the Juvy Driver is countered into a reverse suplex from Kidman. The Shooting Star is countered with another hurricanrana but Juvy dives into another powerbomb. Kidman hits the Shooting Star for the pin, the title, and a BIG pop from the crowd.

Rating: B+. Excellent match here with both guys just going nuts for about fifteen minutes and one upping each other all match long. Kidman was one of the few guys that could hang with Guerrera in a high flying match and he more than did that here. The fans were going nuts here and the match was as good as anything we’ve seen on Nitro in months.

Here’s a title defense from Halloween Havoc 1998.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is challenging and is quickly dropkicked down to the corner. A drop toehold sets up an armbar from the champion before he just stomps a mudhole on Disco. Kidman gets a bit too cocky though and gets sent throat first into the ropes, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Disco tosses him outside but Kidman climbs up the steps for a bulldog down to the floor. Back in and the champion misses a top rope splash to give Inferno a two count.

We hit the chinlock on Kidman but he quickly gets up and hits a hard clothesline. Disco avoids a charge in the corner and stomps Kidman down before talking a lot of trash. A middle rope elbow misses after Disco wastes too much time dancing. He’s able to avoid a dropkick though and hit the jumping piledriver for a delayed two count. Kidman reveres a suplex but can’t hit his bulldog out of the corner. Instead it’s Disco getting two off a gordbuster but taking too much time trying the Macarena Driver. Kidman counters with a faceplant and the Shooting Star retains the title.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the Guerrera match but it still worked quite well. Kidman was awesome at this point and could have a good match with anyone (except Scott Hall of course) as the division is really getting awesome again. Thankfully the LWO wasn’t a part of this as it just isn’t catching my interest so far.

Kidman would start feuding with the LWO, leading to a triple threat against Juventud Guerrera and Rey Mysterio Jr. at Starrcade 1998. I’ll include a bonus with this match.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman

Billy, the champion coming in, is a guy who used to be a very generic cruiserweight and then started wrestling in jeans and an undershirt which somehow made him much better in the ring. Juventud is one of the best high fliers ever and has lost his mask recently, because why would WCW want a piece of merchandise like that to sell for $25? Both challengers are members of Eddie Guerrero’s Latino World Order which was a pointless story given to him by Bischoff to keep Eddie from quitting.

Kidman and Rey are friends so they double team Juvy to start with Kidman sending Juvy into Rey for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Juvy is hit with a pair of dropkicks in the corner and there’s a Bronco Buster from Rey for good measure. Kidman loads up Juvy for a shot from Rey but Guerrera moves just in time, causing Rey to hit the champion. Everyone starts hitting everyone now and it’s Kidman taking over. Kidman puts Rey on his shoulders for a top rope cross body from Juvy, only to roll Kidman up and send Juvy crashing to the mat. Billy counters that into a wheelbarrow suplex on Rey, sending him onto Juvy for two.

Juvy gets in a shot to both guys and manages to bulldog them both down at the same time to get himself a breather. Guerrera hits some hard chops on both guys but Rey sends him into the corner. Juvy escapes a German suplex from Mysterio, only to be clotheslined down by Kidman. Everyone is down again but Juvy sends both guys to the floor for a BIG dive to take them both out. The fans don’t seem to care which is rather surprising as the dive looked great.

Back in and Juvy goes up top, only to dive into a double dropkick to put him down again. Kidman tries to slide through Rey’s legs but gets pounded in the head by Rey. Juvy comes in with a springboard rana on Rey for two, only to have Kidman climbs the corner and bulldog Juvy down while dropkicking Rey down at the same time. Kidman goes up top for a splash but hits Juvy’s feet, allowing Rey to hit a springboard moonsault of his own for two. With Juvy sitting on the top, Rey snaps off a rana to send him out to the floor, leaving Kidman alone in the ring.

Rey heads back in and gets caught in a suplex by the champion followed by a middle rope legdrop for two. Everyone is back in now and Kidman hits a sweet layout powerbomb on Juvy for two. Rey bulldogs Kidman down for two more as it’s clear everyone is getting tired. The champion throws Juvy to the floor but gets low bridged by Rey, allowing Mysterio to hit a top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys out. Back in again and Rey hits a gorgeous springboard rana on Juvy, only to be caught in the Juvy Driver (kind of a combination slam and piledriver) for two as Kidman makes the save.

Now Kidman sits on the top rope as Juvy launches Rey over his shoulders into another hurricanrana to snap Kidman down to the mat. Billy gets two on Juvy via a lifting powerbomb before a Rey rana takes both he and Juvy to the floor. Kidman goes up top and hits a shooting star press (standing backflip) to take the challengers out, drawing boos. The booing is due to Eddie Guerrero coming to the ring, distracting the referee as Kidman has Juvy rolled up. Eddie tries to break it up and give Juvy the title but Rey breaks up that cover, allowing Kidman to roll Guerrera up to retain.

Rating: B. Very solid opener here with a lot of great high spots to fire up the crowd. For some reason the fans didn’t get all fired up from it but that can’t be blamed on the guys in the ring. Some of those dives by Rey were incredible as he’s fully rounded into the star that he was capable of being. Kidman and Juvy hung in there quite well also though, making this quite the opening match.

Eddie FREAKS over losing and yells at Juvy and Rey, calling them morons, dweebs and sissies. Since his minions screwed up already, Eddie calls out Kidman for a title shot RIGHT NOW. Kidman is more than happy to oblige.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Eddie, in boots and jeans, stomps Kidman down to start before hitting a powerbomb for two. A small package gets the same as Kidman is clearly tired here. Off to an abdominal stretch on the champion with Juvy helping Eddie. Rey will have none of that and breaks up the assistance, drawing Eddie to the floor to yell at him, thereby giving Kidman a breather. Back in and Kidman goes nuts, pounding Eddie down with stomps and punches to the head to stun Eddie.

A punch to Kidman’s knee slows Kidman down though and it’s off to a leg lock with the arm trapped as well. They head to the outside with Eddie being whipped into the barricade but Kidman is rammed into the post as we head inside again. A bulldog puts Guerrero down for no count as Kidman pounds away again. Kidman beats on Eddie in the corner again but Eddie pulls off his boot to blast Billy in the head to lay him out. A brainbuster puts Kidman down again but the champion gets up and superplexed Eddie down to break up the frog splash.

Eddie climbs the ropes to hit a hurricanrana on the champion for no cover. Kidman instead counters a powerbomb by driving Eddie face first into the mat and stomping away again before hitting a slingshot legdrop for two. Eddie blocks a top rope rana but Kidman shoves him down again. Eddie’s bodyguard tries to get in, allowing Juvy to crotch Kidman on the top rope. Rey will have none of that though and crotches Eddie, allowing Kidman to hit the Shooting Star to retain.

Rating: B. Another solid match here as Kidman gets to look like a star by surviving all the cheating and nearly half an hour of wrestling. Mysterio wasn’t a willing member of the team as he had been forced into their ranks due to a loss to Guerrero. The theory was to have him feud with the group for costing Eddie the title here, but Eddie would be in a bad car wreck in less than a week, putting him on the shelf for five months and ending the team for all intents and purposes.

Kidman and Mysterio would team up to win the Tag Team Titles on Nitro. Here’s a title defense from Slamboree 1999.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Kidman would go to war with a group called the Revolution and was supposed to face them in three matches at Souled Out 2000. A bunch of injuries and card shuffling happened though so the matches were changed. Kidman still wrestled three times in one night though.

Billy Kidman vs. Dean Malenko

Kidman is one of the Filthy Animals and Malenko is part of the Revolution which was supposed to be a youth movement stable but it was changed into a military thing or something. This is under catch-as-catch-can which means a regular match but you can’t leave the ring.

Dean takes it to the floor quickly and the fans are loudly booing. We hear about what Kidman has to do tonight and I wonder why Douglas isn’t fighting for the Revolution tonight. LOUD booing now as Malenko keeps backing up. I have no idea if the fans know the rules here or not. Big crowd tonight too at over 14,000.

Kidman hammers away and Dean rolls to the floor, ending the match. Dean starts getting back in and I think he messed up here. This is exactly what this show didn’t need at all. Way too short to grade as it might have been two minutes long but the fans cheer for Kidman winning so uh….good? This was Dean’s last WCW match as he would debut as part of the Radicalz in 15 days.

Billy Kidman vs. Perry Saturn

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning hardcore. At least Kidman’s music is kind of catchy. Saturn is freaking stacked as far as muscles go. Perry stomps away to start and gets a clothesline to take Kidman down. Big press slam as this is a regular match so far. Kidman fights back with speed and punches in the corner. Clothesline gets two. He tries a running headlock takeover out of the corner but gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor. That gets two on the floor.

Back in the ring and Saturn does something to Kidman’s neck but gets rolled up for two. This is painfully boring. Springboard legdrop gets two for Saturn. Kidman’s shirt is ripped off and we FINALLY get to a weapon, in this case, a table which is laid face down on the floor instead of being set up in the ring. Ah there it is. Heenan: “Tony we could make a fortune in a table company.” Mike: “Heenan if you’re involved the only thing it’ll be is under the table.” That was good. Where is this funny Mike every other show?

The table is on the floor but Saturn can’t suplex onto him. Saturn gets an elbow from the top rope for no cover so Kidman grabs a sunset flip for two. Diving powerbomb gets two as does a Sky High from Kidman. Saturn throws Kidman over the top and through the table which gets two. It looked great if nothing else. Saturn tries a powerbomb from the top but gets backdropped instead. Out of NOWHERE Saturn tries another powerbomb (does he get paid per powerbomb?) but gets dropped in a facejam for the pin. This was Saturn’s last match in WCW.

Rating: D+. I’m starting to feel bad for giving these matches such low grades. They’re not really that terrible but they’re just so painfully uninteresting. I’m flying through this show and I’ve yet to see anything worth watching in it. Every one of the six matches so far range from just kind of there to completely uninteresting. There were some cool spots here and I like Saturn so I guess you could call this the match of the night so far….somehow.

Billy Kidman vs. ???

This is in a cage called Caged Heat, which means Hell in a Cell. Shane Douglas of the Revolution comes out to talk about how awesome the Revolution is and introduces the mystery guy. And it’s the Wall, a guy that has nothing to do with the Revolution until tonight. This is when Wall was still a total killer. Kidman finds a chair under the ring and cracks him with a chair to start.

So let me make sure I have this straight. A guy is thrown into the card to face a guy that joined a stable he was feuding with and I think a one day notice and is in the Cell with him. Got it. Standard small man vs. monster here with Wall taking him down with a big boot. Kidman is rammed back first into the cage and it’s all big man. Kidman gets a sunset bomb off the middle rope for two. He goes up, jumps into a chokeslam and we’re done. Five minute match in the Cell. I give up.

Rating: F. Not only was it a bad match, it was a bad match in the Hell in a Cell cage! I mean people, why in the world would you use that? If you’re going to change one match, change the rest too. Why is that so hard? Terrible match and a terrible ending to this three match system thing.

Here’s the biggest moment of Kidman’s career, from April 10, 2000. It’s not an official match but I have to include this. There’s a story about Kidman and the New Blood wanting respect from the old guard (the Millionaires’ Club) but it’s mainly about Hogan vs. Russo.

Here’s Kidman to talk about how the New Blood has been held down for so long. There’s one man he wants more than anyone else: Hulk Hogan. Kidman may not have Hogan’s body, but he has two things Hogan will never have: heart and talent. The only reason Hogan has that orange tan of his is because Hogan has been in the spotlight way too long. He calls Hogan out right now and gets the man himself.

Hulk is tired of Kidman’s whining and says Kidman is the kind of guy that gives the young guns a bad name. Kidman says Hogan’s run is over so Hulk insults Kidman’s girlfriend Torrie Wilson. It’s on now with Kidman getting the better of it until they head outside with Hogan hammering away.

Back in and Hogan talks some more trash. This brings out Bischoff with a chair for the screwjob. Hogan does the most obvious blade job of all time, clearly running his hand over his left eye a few seconds before Bischoff blasts him in the head. Even as a kid I knew it was a blade job. Naturally the cut is RIGHT OVER THE EYE as Kidman covers for a Bischoff counted three. Not a match of course and Hogan would beat him twice on PPV, but I had to throw this in.

Kidman would join the Filthy Animals and feud with whatever heel stable WCW had at the time. Here’s one from Mayhem 2000 where WCW managed to screw up the concept of time.

Filthy Animals vs. Alex Wright/Kronik

Ok so this was supposed to be Konnan/Kidman/Rey vs. Disqo/Wright. Konnan isn’t here so it’s Rey/Kidman as the Filthy Animals vs. Wright/Kronik but Kronik is leaving after seven and a half minutes. FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE JUST HAVE A MATCH! Tygress gets on commentary. Wright and Kidman start us off. Ok make that Kidman and Adams start us off.

Disqo points out to the announcers that he’s the wrestler on the month in WCW magazine. This is far sloppier than you would expect. Adams hits the full nelson slam to Kidman but Wright tags himself in to try to get the pin. Since the time thing is going to be the ending of course it only gets two so Rey and Clark come in. Rey has horns on his head. What is with his odd choices in costumes?

Clark has a stopwatch going so he knows how much longer he has to be here. Basic idea here: Kronik beats up the little guys and then Wright comes in like the cowardly heel to steal pin attempts. Wright vs. Rey now. Madden hits on Tygress and after six minutes and fifteen seconds or so, Kronik leaves. They couldn’t even get TIME right? Wright gets in a bit of offense after that but a modified What’s Up ends him.

Rating: D+. They messed up TIME. Do you have any idea how hard it is to mess up a time angle when they allegedly had a stopwatch there with them? The match was just barely ok either with both teams just wasting time until the stupid part of the match could come into play. In other words, the big strong guys had no problems against the small guys but just left so the small guys could win. Give me a break.

In the dying days of WCW, the company would introduce Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles. Kidman and Rey Mysterio would lose in the finals of a tournament to become first champions. They would earn a title shot on the final Nitro though and get the shot later in the night.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Kidman would jump to the WWF in the InVasion and do pretty much nothing for over a year, save for some Cruiserweight Title matches. None of them would mean anything until Survivor Series 2002. There’s no real story here but that’s often the case with this title.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie is defending and has Nidia with him. Kidman grabs two very fast rollups for two and make that four in the first 30 seconds. Jamie bails to the floor but Kidman throws him right back in. Noble comes back with a neckbreaker and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Kidman gets thrown to the floor and Noble hits a suicide dive. Tazz: “I think Noble has something up his sleeve, but he’s not wearing a shirt so he has no sleeve.”

Back in and Kidman speeds things up with a back elbow and a dropkick followed by an AA into a backbreaker for two. A Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Noble so Kidman hits Tessmacher’s Tesshocker (belly to back suplex position but he slams Noble down face first instead). Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but Noble bails to the floor. That’s fine with Billy so he dives on Noble out there to take the champ down again.

Back in and Nidia distracts Kidman but gets knocked off the apron by Kidman. The BK Bomb (Low Down) gets two for Kidman as does a Tiger Bomb for Noble. They go up top and Kidman hits a sitout inverted DDT. That was pretty awesome looking but it only gets two. Noble hits Orton’s Elevated DDT for two out of the corner so Kidman hits an enziguri to take over again. Billy loads up the Shooting Star but a Nidia distraction….only delays Kidman as he hits the Shooting Star for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. These two got going good and strong at the end which is exactly what you want from a match like this. When you can get into the area of a match where it’s one big move after another and you’re just waiting on one of them to stay down, that’s a great sign. The Shooting Star looked great too. This wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it was solid.

We’re going to jump ahead a bit as Kidman didn’t really do much in WWE save for a meaningless Smackdown Tag Title reign. However, in 2004 he would botch a Shooting Star on Paul London and legitimately injure him. This was turned into an angle where Kidman was afraid to use it and his career was in trouble. London came back for revenge at No Mercy 2004.

Billy Kidman vs. Paul London

London sprints to the ring but Kidman runs. Paul wants answers. I’m not sure what the question is but I guess that’s up for interpretation. London controls to start and hits a leg lariat for two. A clothesline puts Kidman down and then out to the floor. London hits a sweet springboard moonsault but he might have hit the apron on the way down. Slingshot splash gets two back inside.

Kidman comes back by ramming his face into the buckle and kicking him in the face. London’s ribs are rammed into the post and Kidman goes after the ribs. All Billy at this point as he smacks London in the face. Apparently London had a broken nose recently. See, that’s something good a commentator can do: remind us of something that makes offense more vicious.

Billy stretches the ribs more and catches London in a gutbuster for two. Off to a seated abdominal stretch and London is in big trouble. Kidman gets back up and tries a tornado DDT for some reason. London blocks and hits an enziguri, but his powerbomb is blocked into an X Factor for two. Kidman tries a Low Down but London countered with a rana for two. London tries to speed things up but gets caught by a dropkick. Billy looks to the corner but walks off instead. He comes back at a count of seven and walks into a superkick. London tries a Shooting Star but it lands on knees. Kidman’s Shooting Star ends this.

Rating: C+. That was a solid heel turn match for Kidman. The rib work was great and the ending was solid too. I was liking this quite a bit with a good story the whole time, which is more than you can ask for more often than not. Kidman would be gone by June and London would get stuck in Cruiserweight Title limbo, but it was a good way to get there at least.

Kidman would leave the WWE in 2005 and wrestle several times in FCW but we’ll wrap it up now as this has gone on far too long. The problem for Kidman was he always had to deal with guys like Rey Mysterio and Juventud Guerrera who would just fly all over the place and outshine him. However, Kidman was more than capable of holding his own in there and had some excellent matches with a lot of people. He had some success outside of the Cruiserweight division, but as was often the case in WCW, he never got a huge push otherwise. It’s a shame too as the guy is very talented.

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Thunder
Date: December 10, 1998
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

It’s a taped show because I must have done something horrible in a past life to earn this punishment. We’re getting closer to Starrcade but most of that won’t mean anything here as they can’t let anything significant happen on a taped show. There is actually an announced match though as Rey Mysterio will face Juventud Guerrera for a shot at the Cruiserweight Title at Starrcade 1998. Let’s get to it.

 

The announcers talk about how awesome the Mysterio vs. Guerrera match will be. We also get Black and White vs. Black and Red tonight! Be still my beating heart.

Chris Jericho vs. Bobby Duncum Jr.

Bobby runs him over to start as the announcers talk about Ralphus more than for the rest of his career combined. A chinlock has Duncum in control as we take a way too early commercial. Back with Jericho getting his head taken off by a hard clothesline out of the corner but he catches Bobby with a drop toehold to send him throat first into the ropes.

Now it’s Jericho with a double arm crank but Bobby turns it around, only to have Jericho flip forward and kick Duncum in the chest in the process. Nice counter. Off to a backbreaker from Jericho as he bends the Texan over his knee in a rare power display. The Lionsault misses and Bobby scores with a hard slam for two. Instead Jericho grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like most feuds that go on for too long, we’ve seen all of this before and I had no desire to watch it again. Duncum could have been something interesting if used better, but having him fight Jericho over and over wasn’t going to get him there. Jericho was going to steal the spotlight from anyone he worked with through sheer talent and that’s what’s happening here.

Post match here’s Konnan to tell the referee what happened so the match restarts. Jericho tries a rollup but Konnan hits him in the head with the belt to give Duncum the pin.

Video on Bischoff vs. Flair.

Glacier vs. Saturn

The ice dude takes over with a quick kick to the ribs but won’t follow up, which is enough to make Heenan stop talking about Goldberg for a second to complain about Glacier. They hit the mat for a decent wrestling sequence before Saturn goes after the leg with a few holds. Can’t blame him for bad psychology at least. Back up and Saturn fires off chops in the corner and Glacier heads to the floor, only to be sent hard into the barricade.

Back in and Sonny Onoo is here in a neck brace to help Glacier because what would WCW be without him. Glacier takes over with a suplex and elbow to the jaw for two before totally missing a kick to the face. Saturn sells it anyway and we hit the chinlock. Saturn fights up and hits a nice t-bone followed by a middle rope knee for another near fall as Onoo is freaking out in a bad stereotype. They trade standing switches into the Rings of Saturn, drawing in Sonny for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was acceptable but good night can we please have Sonny sent ANYWHERE else? He’s been doing the same schtick for like three years now and is just annoying. I can see why he sued WCW over his character as well given how it’s as stereotypical of a Japanese tourist as you can get.

Post match Saturn beats up Onoo while avoiding an attack from Glacier. He suplexes Ice Boy to the floor and stands….not very tall actually.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Norman Smiley

Norman stalls to start before easily taking Hayashi to the mat with a headlock, meaning it’s DANCE TIME. Back up and Hayashi punches Norman in the face and takes him down with a headscissors. Kaz’s offense is short lived though as Smiley launches him into the air and lets Kaz crash down to the mat. A bunch of stomps in the corner set up the spinning slam followed by a butterfly suplex for two.

Smiley is acting far more heelish than I remember him doing recently, including stopping to yell at some fans. Kaz gets caught in a belly to back suplex followed by a surfboard before Norman sends him to the floor. Instead of following up though, it’s time for more dancing. Back in and Hayashi scores with a kick in the corner followed by a nice dive from the top. They trade some rollups but Smiley grabs the crossface chicken wing for the submission.

Rating: D+. Norman is another guy that could have been something interesting for the TV Title but too bad because there’s no way it’s getting out of the NWO anytime soon. Hayashi was a good enough guy in the ring but there were too many people who could do what he did much better than he could.

We see part of the main event on Nitro which was barely a match in the first place.

Here are Ernest Miller and Sonny Onoo with something to say. Miller brags about how awesome he is at karate and challenges any fan to come try him. Sonny is annoyed at him for not being there when Saturn attacked him on Monday. They tease fighting before Miller goes to the back to get Saturn. Just let them fight already so Saturn can move on to anything else.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

They lock up to start until both guys hit the mat for a bit. The feeling out continues as Juvy takes Rey down with a shoulder block before scoring with a Rocker Dropper. Rey is taken into the corner for some chops and whipped into the ropes, only to come back with a headscissors for his first advantage. Juvy bails to the floor and we take an early commercial break.

Back with Rey hitting a splash in the corner and stomping away before hitting the Bronco Buster. Mysterio hammers away in the corner but Juvy comes out with a sweet Liger Bomb out of the corner. This brings out Eddie and the LWO to surround the ring as you can feel the screwy ending coming from here. Rey kicks himout of the air and nails a nice springboard moonsault for two, only to get caught by a quick cross body. A dropkick to the knee puts Juvy back down and a guillotine legdrop gets two more for Mysterio.

Back up again and Juvy avoids a charge into the corner and drapes Rey over the top rope. Mysterio shrugs it off and runs into a boot in the corner to put him right back down. A bulldog gets two more for Guerrera but Rey catches him coming off the ropes, only to get caught in the Juvy Driver. The 450 takes too much time being set up though and Rey crotches Juvy to set up the hurricanrana, only to have the LWO run in for the REALLY annoying DQ.

Rating: B-. They were starting to rock out there until the LWO had to do their thing. Mysterio and Guerrera are two of the best in the company at this point and I’d love to see either of them against Kidman, but having to put up with the LWO is getting really tiresome. At least we got a solid match before the run in though.

Kidman runs out to save Rey from the beatdown.

We see Giant talking trash about DDP from Nitro.

Lodi vs. Booker T.

Booker destroys Lodi like the comedy jobber he is to start before hitting the forearm and ax kick. Here’s Stevie Ray for no apparent reason though to ask Booker what he’s doing. Lodi tries to remember what planet he’s on until Stevie blasts him with the slap jack to give Lodi the DQ win.

Kanyon vs. Chris Benoit

Kanyon does his schtick before the match and thinks the fans say everyone is better than him to make him mad. Speaking of being mad, Kanyon is mad at Raven because the depression is starting to bring Kanyon down as well. “What about me? What about Kanyon?” The fans still don’t seem to care.

The match starts with Kanyon grabbing a quick armdrag and celebrating like he just broke Goldberg’s streak. Benoit takes him down by the arm with ease and grabs a headlock. Kanyon reverses into a neckbreaker but gets caught in the Rolling Germans. He’s able to break it after the first suplex though, only to have his chest knocked off by a chop. Benoit hammers away in the corner before taking Kanyon up for a nice superplex. The overwhelmed Kanyon rolls to the floor but Benoit follows him out for even more chopping.

Back in and Benoit stays all over Kanyon with an elbow to the jaw and some hard whips across the ring. That stiff clothesline drops Kanyon again but Benoit misses a charge into the corner. A Russian legsweep puts him on the mat and Kanyon hits a sweet slingshot elbow for a two count. Benoit fights back in the corner and stomps the heck out of Kanyon, followed by a backbreaker for two. The fans actually chant boring at this for some reason.

Kanyon comes back with a rake to the eyes and a middle rope Fameasser followed by a chinlock. The fans chant boring again despite these two beating the tar out of each other for the last seven minutes. I think they’ve earned a breather. A fireman’s carry pancake gets a close two on Benoit. It’s so close that Kanyon loads up another, only to have Chris counter into a rollup for two. The Swan Dive is broken up but here’s Raven with a can of paint to knock Benoit silly for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Egads did Russo start booking already or something? These DQ’s are getting really annoying when you have solid matches going before them. The match was solid for the most part though with Benoit being all intense as only he can. Kanyon’s offense was stuff we’ve seen before but it’s so different from anyone else’s that it’s still very entertaining.

Kanyon yells at Raven and gets Crossfaced for his efforts.

Vincent/Horace/Stevie Ray vs. Konnan/Lex Luger

We’re ready to go after a bunch of catchphrases and a commercial. I guess Nash was too busy to make the match. Luger locks up with Stevie to start as Konnan plays cheerleader. A shoulder puts Stevie down and there’s the big muscle pose from Luger. Stevie gets him into the NWO corner where all three are knocked around with right hands and forearms. Konnan is fine with letting his partner fight them all off. Vincent of all people finally gets in a cheap shot to slow Luger down and Horace takes over.

Horace hammers away but misses a legdrop, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Konnan. House is cleaned for a bit until Horace knees Konnan in the ribs, allowing for a tag off to Stevie. The Black and White double teams Konnan and gets to make it a triple team when Luger tries to come in. Vincent gets in some ring time for a change with the generic offense you would expect from a bodyguard. Back to Horace who gets two off a splash with Luger making the save.

Stevie comes in again and chokes a lot before throwing Konnan to the floor. Vincent gets in a few more shots and Luger yells at the referee about it, allowing Horace to help with the assault. Back in and Horace nails a suplex to set up a chinlock for a few seconds before a double clothesline puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Luger and Stevie with Luger taking over via the usual. The Rack to Stevie is broken up by a Vincent jawbreaker but here’s Scott Hall to break up a slap jack attempt. He knocks Stevie into Luger who puts on the Rack for the submission.

Rating: D+. Just a boring handicap match here but they followed all of the usual formulas. At the end of the day though, it’s Vincent, Horace and Stevie Ray on one team which isn’t exactly a team I can get behind. Hall coming in fuels his feud against the Black and White but it’s still not the most interesting story in the world. Konnan and Luger were their usual selves here.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the best Thunder in a long time even though it had some very frustrating problems. First and foremost, we had two solid matches and far less time being wasted as a result. The DQ’s got very annoying but it’s something you have to get used to in WCW. This was a very nice surprise and an easy two hours to sit through instead of the usual drek.

 

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Thunder

Date: December 10, 1998

Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee

Commentators: Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

It’s a taped show because I must have done something horrible in a past life to earn this punishment. We’re getting closer to Starrcade but most of that won’t mean anything here as they can’t let anything significant happen on a taped show. There is actually an announced match though as Rey Mysterio will face Juventud Guerrera for a shot at the Cruiserweight Title at Starrcade 1998. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about how awesome the Mysterio vs. Guerrera match will be. We also get Black and White vs. Black and Red tonight! Be still my beating heart.

Chris Jericho vs. Bobby Duncum Jr.

Bobby runs him over to start as the announcers talk about Ralphus more than for the rest of his career combined. A chinlock has Duncum in control as we take a way too early commercial. Back with Jericho getting his head taken off by a hard clothesline out of the corner but he catches Bobby with a drop toehold to send him throat first into the ropes.

Now it’s Jericho with a double arm crank but Bobby turns it around, only to have Jericho flip forward and kick Duncum in the chest in the process. Nice counter. Off to a backbreaker from Jericho as he bends the Texan over his knee in a rare power display. The Lionsault misses and Bobby scores with a hard slam for two. Instead Jericho grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like most feuds that go on for too long, we’ve seen all of this before and I had no desire to watch it again. Duncum could have been something interesting if used better, but having him fight Jericho over and over wasn’t going to get him there. Jericho was going to steal the spotlight from anyone he worked with through sheer talent and that’s what’s happening here.

Post match here’s Konnan to tell the referee what happened so the match restarts. Jericho tries a rollup but Konnan hits him in the head with the belt to give Duncum the pin.

Video on Bischoff vs. Flair.

Glacier vs. Saturn

The ice dude takes over with a quick kick to the ribs but won’t follow up, which is enough to make Heenan stop talking about Goldberg for a second to complain about Glacier. They hit the mat for a decent wrestling sequence before Saturn goes after the leg with a few holds. Can’t blame him for bad psychology at least. Back up and Saturn fires off chops in the corner and Glacier heads to the floor, only to be sent hard into the barricade.

Back in and Sonny Onoo is here in a neck brace to help Glacier because what would WCW be without him. Glacier takes over with a suplex and elbow to the jaw for two before totally missing a kick to the face. Saturn sells it anyway and we hit the chinlock. Saturn fights up and hits a nice t-bone followed by a middle rope knee for another near fall as Onoo is freaking out in a bad stereotype. They trade standing switches into the Rings of Saturn, drawing in Sonny for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was acceptable but good night can we please have Sonny sent ANYWHERE else? He’s been doing the same schtick for like three years now and is just annoying. I can see why he sued WCW over his character as well given how it’s as stereotypical of a Japanese tourist as you can get.

Post match Saturn beats up Onoo while avoiding an attack from Glacier. He suplexes Ice Boy to the floor and stands….not very tall actually.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Norman Smiley

Norman stalls to start before easily taking Hayashi to the mat with a headlock, meaning it’s DANCE TIME. Back up and Hayashi punches Norman in the face and takes him down with a headscissors. Kaz’s offense is short lived though as Smiley launches him into the air and lets Kaz crash down to the mat. A bunch of stomps in the corner set up the spinning slam followed by a butterfly suplex for two.

Smiley is acting far more heelish than I remember him doing recently, including stopping to yell at some fans. Kaz gets caught in a belly to back suplex followed by a surfboard before Norman sends him to the floor. Instead of following up though, it’s time for more dancing. Back in and Hayashi scores with a kick in the corner followed by a nice dive from the top. They trade some rollups but Smiley grabs the crossface chicken wing for the submission.

Rating: D+. Norman is another guy that could have been something interesting for the TV Title but too bad because there’s no way it’s getting out of the NWO anytime soon. Hayashi was a good enough guy in the ring but there were too many people who could do what he did much better than he could.

We see part of the main event on Nitro which was barely a match in the first place.

Here are Ernest Miller and Sonny Onoo with something to say. Miller brags about how awesome he is at karate and challenges any fan to come try him. Sonny is annoyed at him for not being there when Saturn attacked him on Monday. They tease fighting before Miller goes to the back to get Saturn. Just let them fight already so Saturn can move on to anything else.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

They lock up to start until both guys hit the mat for a bit. The feeling out continues as Juvy takes Rey down with a shoulder block before scoring with a Rocker Dropper. Rey is taken into the corner for some chops and whipped into the ropes, only to come back with a headscissors for his first advantage. Juvy bails to the floor and we take an early commercial break.

Back with Rey hitting a splash in the corner and stomping away before hitting the Bronco Buster. Mysterio hammers away in the corner but Juvy comes out with a sweet Liger Bomb out of the corner. This brings out Eddie and the LWO to surround the ring as you can feel the screwy ending coming from here. Rey kicks himout of the air and nails a nice springboard moonsault for two, only to get caught by a quick cross body. A dropkick to the knee puts Juvy back down and a guillotine legdrop gets two more for Mysterio.

Back up again and Juvy avoids a charge into the corner and drapes Rey over the top rope. Mysterio shrugs it off and runs into a boot in the corner to put him right back down. A bulldog gets two more for Guerrera but Rey catches him coming off the ropes, only to get caught in the Juvy Driver. The 450 takes too much time being set up though and Rey crotches Juvy to set up the hurricanrana, only to have the LWO run in for the REALLY annoying DQ.

Rating: B-. They were starting to rock out there until the LWO had to do their thing. Mysterio and Guerrera are two of the best in the company at this point and I’d love to see either of them against Kidman, but having to put up with the LWO is getting really tiresome. At least we got a solid match before the run in though.

Kidman runs out to save Rey from the beatdown.

We see Giant talking trash about DDP from Nitro.

Lodi vs. Booker T.

Booker destroys Lodi like the comedy jobber he is to start before hitting the forearm and ax kick. Here’s Stevie Ray for no apparent reason though to ask Booker what he’s doing. Lodi tries to remember what planet he’s on until Stevie blasts him with the slap jack to give Lodi the DQ win.

Kanyon vs. Chris Benoit

Kanyon does his schtick before the match and thinks the fans say everyone is better than him to make him mad. Speaking of being mad, Kanyon is mad at Raven because the depression is starting to bring Kanyon down as well. “What about me? What about Kanyon?” The fans still don’t seem to care.

The match starts with Kanyon grabbing a quick armdrag and celebrating like he just broke Goldberg’s streak. Benoit takes him down by the arm with ease and grabs a headlock. Kanyon reverses into a neckbreaker but gets caught in the Rolling Germans. He’s able to break it after the first suplex though, only to have his chest knocked off by a chop. Benoit hammers away in the corner before taking Kanyon up for a nice superplex. The overwhelmed Kanyon rolls to the floor but Benoit follows him out for even more chopping.

Back in and Benoit stays all over Kanyon with an elbow to the jaw and some hard whips across the ring. That stiff clothesline drops Kanyon again but Benoit misses a charge into the corner. A Russian legsweep puts him on the mat and Kanyon hits a sweet slingshot elbow for a two count. Benoit fights back in the corner and stomps the heck out of Kanyon, followed by a backbreaker for two. The fans actually chant boring at this for some reason.

Kanyon comes back with a rake to the eyes and a middle rope Fameasser followed by a chinlock. The fans chant boring again despite these two beating the tar out of each other for the last seven minutes. I think they’ve earned a breather. A fireman’s carry pancake gets a close two on Benoit. It’s so close that Kanyon loads up another, only to have Chris counter into a rollup for two. The Swan Dive is broken up but here’s Raven with a can of paint to knock Benoit silly for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Egads did Russo start booking already or something? These DQ’s are getting really annoying when you have solid matches going before them. The match was solid for the most part though with Benoit being all intense as only he can. Kanyon’s offense was stuff we’ve seen before but it’s so different from anyone else’s that it’s still very entertaining.

Kanyon yells at Raven and gets Crossfaced for his efforts.

Vincent/Horace/Stevie Ray vs. Konnan/Lex Luger

We’re ready to go after a bunch of catchphrases and a commercial. I guess Nash was too busy to make the match. Luger locks up with Stevie to start as Konnan plays cheerleader. A shoulder puts Stevie down and there’s the big muscle pose from Luger. Stevie gets him into the NWO corner where all three are knocked around with right hands and forearms. Konnan is fine with letting his partner fight them all off. Vincent of all people finally gets in a cheap shot to slow Luger down and Horace takes over.

Horace hammers away but misses a legdrop, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Konnan. House is cleaned for a bit until Horace knees Konnan in the ribs, allowing for a tag off to Stevie. The Black and White double teams Konnan and gets to make it a triple team when Luger tries to come in. Vincent gets in some ring time for a change with the generic offense you would expect from a bodyguard. Back to Horace who gets two off a splash with Luger making the save.

Stevie comes in again and chokes a lot before throwing Konnan to the floor. Vincent gets in a few more shots and Luger yells at the referee about it, allowing Horace to help with the assault. Back in and Horace nails a suplex to set up a chinlock for a few seconds before a double clothesline puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Luger and Stevie with Luger taking over via the usual. The Rack to Stevie is broken up by a Vincent jawbreaker but here’s Scott Hall to break up a slap jack attempt. He knocks Stevie into Luger who puts on the Rack for the submission.

Rating: D+. Just a boring handicap match here but they followed all of the usual formulas. At the end of the day though, it’s Vincent, Horace and Stevie Ray on one team which isn’t exactly a team I can get behind. Hall coming in fuels his feud against the Black and White but it’s still not the most interesting story in the world. Konnan and Luger were their usual selves here.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the best Thunder in a long time even though it had some very frustrating problems. First and foremost, we had two solid matches and far less time being wasted as a result. The DQ’s got very annoying but it’s something you have to get used to in WCW. This was a very nice surprise and an easy two hours to sit through instead of the usual drek.