Monday Night Raw – April 24, 2006: The British Push

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 24, 2006
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re overseas for a taped show this week as it’s the go home show for Backlash. With all of the handicap matches for the main event exhausted, I’m not sure what we’re going to be seeing here. Aside from a red phone booth and whatever else WWE associates with England of course. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon, mainly focusing on their Wrestlemania match and the ensuing fallout.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and Lita to get things going. Edge talks about being in a triple threat match at Backlash and one of the men he is facing is HHH. We see Edge pinning HHH last week in the handicap match, followed by a clip of Edge pinning John Cena at New Year’s Revolution. This should be simple enough for even the British fans to figure out: Edge is going to be leaving Backlash as WWE Champion.

Cue HHH, to a pretty strong face pop. HHH says Edge has come a long way as he now looks like, talks like and acts like a champion. Edge even was a champion…for three weeks. It means Edge can go, but he can’t go very long. A lot of guys have that problem and HHH knows how frustrating that must be for Lita. Edge can even have his own catchphrase: the premature superstar. Edge insists he can do it ten times a night and last week he only needed three seconds to pin HHH.

That was rather impressive, but HHH was only focusing on sending Cena a message. On Sunday, he is focusing on the title and he will go through either of them to get back on the throne. Edge is sick of hearing about the eleventh title reign but wants to know why HHH is in the triple threat. He lost at Wrestlemania and has never beaten Edge, so Edge suggests that HHH likes to get on his knees in front of Vince.

That gives us the most obvious Lita joke of the year but HHH says he’ll bash Vince McMahon or his own grandmother in the head to be champion (dang Randy Orton stole that line from him all those years later). Cue John Cena to go after HHH as Edge and Lita bail. HHH is ready to go but here’s the Spirit Squad to interrupt. The let us know, through cheering form, that they will be facing the three of them tonight in a handicap match. HHH, Cena and Edge aren’t exactly thrilled.

Chris Masters/Matt Striker/Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito/Charlie Haas/Rob Van Dam

Carlito and Benjamin start things off but it’s quickly off to Van Dam, who gets pounded down in the corner. Van Dam kicks him out to the floor and the villains are cleared out in a hurry. Rob hits a big dive and we take an early break. Back with Van Dam in trouble as Masters pulls him off the ropes to set up a bearhug. Shelton comes in for the reverse chinlock as the LET’S GO ROB chant starts up. That sounds so out of place after the RVD chants became so well known.

Van Dam fights up and makes the hot tag to bring in Haas as house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and Carlito hits a Backstabber on Benjamin. Masters comes in with the Masterlock to Carlito but Haas makes the save with a German suplex. Carlito Rolls the Dice on Striker but walks into the t-bone from Shelton. Van Dam comes in off the top with a kick to Benjamin’s…well something. The Five Star finishes Shelton.

Rating: C+. This didn’t get too much time considering the commercial but they were going non-stop almost the entire time they were on camera. That’s a good way to go and I can always go for a six man tag mixing up a bunch of feuds at once. Van Dam now has momentum going into the title match, Carlito vs. Masters will be a thing and Striker…well he has a job at least.

Vince McMahon calls last week’s “acts of God” a bunch of coincidences and says he has fired the pyrotechnics director. Vince has it on good authority that God is on holiday this week so tonight, Shane McMahon will take care of Shawn Michaels. Shane says he’ll get back at Shawn tonight and he swears to God….pause for a look around….that Shawn will get what’s coming to him.

Kane is still going insane when Big Show comes up. They have been friends and partners but they need to work this out. Show says May 19 and Kane threatens him if he says it again. Show: “May…19.” The fight is on with Kane sending him into a metal wall and beating the heck out of him until referees break it up. Show’s eye was hurt in the melee and it’s busted open rather bad.

Coach is in the ring because it’s time for a bikini contest. We have Candice Michelle, Maria, Torrie Wilson and Victoria here and the fans seem to fancy Torrie (as you might have guessed). They disrobe, the fans cheer for Maria, Candice wins anyway. Candice’s prize is the chance to kiss Coach but here’s Viscera to threaten to do, ahem, things, to Coach. Instead he’s taking the prize, meaning he beats up Coach, kisses Candice, and leaves with her.

We see the same video that opened the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon

Vince is here to handle Shane’s introduction. Shane starts fast and is quickly sent over the top for a big crash. A cheap shot lets Shane get in a few knees and punches to the back before hammering away at the face instead. Shane even shows off a bit with a torture rack neckbreaker for two, only to miss a pretty good looking moonsault. Shawn wins a slugout and hits the forearm into the nip up, followed by the top rope elbow.

Vince breaks up Sweet Chin Music but gets beaten onto the announcers’ table for his efforts. Shane makes the save and helps Vince load up the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head sets up the big elbow through the table and Vince says he told Shawn so. Vince declares God a chicken who will abandon him on Sunday. The match is a no contest of course.

Rating: C. Pretty good for a Shane match as he just does his spots and doesn’t try to have anything resembling a traditional match. That’s all he should do and it worked out well enough. It wasn’t exactly good but Shawn can work with anyone and helped Shane through things here. They weren’t out there very long either and that helped hide a lot of the weaknesses.

We look back at Kane attacking Big Show.

We look at See No Evil, of course edited off the Network.

Backlash rundown.

Edge comes in to see Cena because they have to work together. Cena says Edge is a snake and if he tries anything, he’s going down quicker than Lita.

Post break, Edge and Lita seem to be scheming.

Umaga vs. Steve Lewington

Lewington would wind up having a cup of coffee on ECW as DJ Gabriel. Umaga wastes no time in kicking him to the floor before swinging Lewington into the steps. Back in and the running Tree of Woe headbutt sets up the running hip attack in the corner. The thumb to Lewington’s throat is good for the pin.

Post match here’s Umaga to slug away at Umaga, including a testicular claw before a right hand puts Umaga on the floor.

Lita comes up to see HHH and says she has smoothed it over with Cena. HHH hopes she’s still nice after he beats Edge on Sunday. Lita says if he does, she can hit him with his sledgehammer. She leaves, but HHH was hoping for advice on how to take on five guys at once. Dang some of these lines are brutal.

Flair vs. Umaga is set for Backlash.

Here’s Mickie James, dressed like herself and coming out to her own music. She’ll admit it: she got a little carried away after winning the Women’s Title. Yeah she dressed up like Trish and dyed her hair but now she knows who she is. She’s ready to beat Trish again on Sunday, but here is Trish in the full Mickie impression again. Trish keeps cutting her off and saying the same things Mickie is saying, setting up the fight. The Chick Kick sends Mickie out to the floor.

Edge/HHH/John Cena vs. Spirit Squad

The cheering starts before the bell and the trio clears the ring in a hurry. We take a very quick break and come back with Edge unloading on Johnny in the corner before it’s off to Mikey to get beaten up as well. Edge sends Johnny into Mikey but the distraction lets Mikey get in a few cheap shots. Kenny comes in and the numbers game have Edge in trouble. Edge gets away for a bit though and it’s off to HHH, who comes in off a slap from Edge, which doesn’t go well.

HHH takes over on Mikey but Cena slaps his way in as well, much to HHH’s annoyance. Mikey uses a trampoline to springboard up and get in a shot on Cena, allowing Johnny to hit a spinning kick to Cena’s head. Cena is sent outside for the big group beatdown and it’s an assisted moonsault to give Mikey two back inside. Mikey grabs a chinlock before it’s off to Mitch for a flipping neckbreaker. After a rather odd crawl over to the ropes, Mitch brings Johnny back in to get punched in the face over and over.

Johnny takes Cena down again though and it’s back to Mikey, who gets powerslammed. Cena manages to beat up the Squad for just a bit before it’s HHH tagging himself back in to clean house. Kenny breaks up the Pedigree as everything breaks down. The FU to Johnny and the Pedigree to Mikey connect at the same time as Edge and Lita walk out. Cena and HHH slug it out as the match and show end.

Rating: D+. This was another example of a match that was there to advance a story with some wrestling going on at the same time. The biggest problem with the Spirit Squad (ok the second biggest) was on display here: other than Kenny, none of them stand out in any way and they’re just a bunch of pests who can beat people up because of their numbers advantage. That’s fine if you’re a little more intimidating, but a bunch of annoying guys beating people up is kind of a weird combination. And the whole cheerleaders thing makes it even worse.

Overall Rating: C-. These British shows are always a little off and this one did nothing to hide the fact that we are coming up on a two match show this Sunday. The triple threat is looking good and they have done a nice job of making you believe that anyone could win. The McMahons vs. Michaels stuff though is one of those things that is feeling very stupid in a hurry and that could make for a long, long Sunday. Still though, this is a formula that worked well enough on a larger scale at Wrestlemania so maybe it can work out here too.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – April 17, 2006: Vince Can Make It Work

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 17, 2006
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 16,108
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We are less than two weeks away from Backlash and that means it’s probably time for another handicap match this week. The three way feud between Edge, John Cena and HHH continues, which makes it a lot easier to sit through than Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon to get things going. Vince: “The question is, will Mr. McMahon go to h***?” Vince was asked that last week by Shane and tonight he needs to set the record straight. The answer is no, because he was there this morning when his driver got lost and he wound up in east St. Louis. He respects all religions and tonight he is going to announce his own. That would be McMahonism, which is based on the principle that he is lord and master of all sports entertainment. Everyone involved with wrestling will worship him, whether you are in the ring or if you buy a ticket.

That makes McMahon wonder what would happen if McMahonism had been around at various points in history. We see a version of Michelangelo’s The Creation Of Adam with McMahon in the middle, with McMahon of course talking about his endowment. Then we have Moses coming down Mt. Cyanide carrying the Ten Commandments while McMahon has his Muscle and Fitness cover. There are some commandments of McMahonism as well. These include screw unto others, do not covet they neighbor’s wife unless she is really hot.

Back to the photos, with McMahon at the Last Supper. Or what if McMahonism went to Asia? That means a photo of him with a statue of Buddha. And another one at Shea Stadium with the Pope. The fans accurately describe this as boring so Vince talks about how we are in America where there are various freedoms. Tonight, Vince allows everyone to join his church.

Shawn Michaels certainly will not convert, but at Backlash, Shawn will worship at Vince’s feet. If he is lying, strike him down right here in this ring. Vince promises to beat Shawn tonight but here’s Shawn to superkick him and throw in a crotch chop for good measure. The joke went on WAY too long here, even though it wasn’t as long as some of the other opening segments. It wasn’t funny in the first place and then they just kept going with it, making things even worse.

Post break Vince yells at HHH for calling him an old man last week. Tonight, HHH vs. John Cena/Edge.

Rob Conway vs. Kane

Conway says he’s sick of being treated so badly and is then chokeslammed for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Kane goes outside and grabs Lilian Garcia by the throat for mentioning May 19. Big Show, in workout pants for a weird look, comes out for the save. That means a chokeslam to Kane, who sits up and smiles.

We recap Chavo Guerrero failing to win the Intercontinental Title two weeks ago and quitting as a result.

Chavo has a sitdown interview with Jim Ross. Maybe he made a hasty decision, but the more he thinks about it, the less sure he is. He made a promise to his friends, family and to Eddie Guerrero. The loss summed everything up and JR asks if quitting is honoring Eddie’s memory. Chavo thinks Eddie would have been disgusted by his loss so maybe he should go get a real estate license. JR doesn’t buy this but Chavo says his career is at an end. They shake hands but JR doesn’t seem convinced.

Coach takes over as ring announcer as Lilian is traumatized.

Shelton Benjamin vs. ???

Non-title and if Benjamin wins, the Money in the Bank contract is on the line at Backlash but if Haas wins, the title is on the line. The mystery opponent is….the returning Charlie Haas, meaning Benjamin looks like he has seen a ghost. Charlie German suplexes the look off of his face and snaps off some armdrags to keep Shelton in trouble. A clothesline puts Shelton on the floor and Haas chops away against the apron. Charlie: “DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME???” Well yeah kind of.

Back in and Shelton gets in a running clothesline to cut Haas down, followed by a hard whip into the steps. The chinlock goes on back inside but Haas fights up, only to miss a dropkick. A belly to back drops Haas again and Shelton does the Rob Van Dam finger point to set up his own Rolling Thunder. Shelton has to bail out of his own Five Star though and Haas grabs a rollup for the surprise pin.

Rating: C-. Haas was looking intense here and the match wasn’t bad at all, but it is rarely a good idea to have a champion lose clean, especially when he is heading into a big match against someone else. Throw in that Shelton doesn’t have the best record over the last few months and I wasn’t wild on the pin here. They certainly did have a surprise though and Haas looked good enough.

During the break, Maria held the Kiss Cam. That is all.

Armando Alejandro Estrada comes in to see Vince McMahon and, because he is a follower of McMahonism, he offers Umaga to face Shawn Michaels tonight. Vince says it’s next so Estrada leaves. Shelton Benjamin comes in to say he saw the light that led him straight to the office. Benjamin drops to a knee and says only McMahon can save him. Vince: “I do kind of like people on their knees before me.” Shelton looks a little unsure. And moving on, thank goodness.

Umaga vs. Shawn Michaels

We take a look back at the opening segment and we’re ready to go. Shawn sticks and moves to start until Umaga blasts him with a clothesline. A kick to the chest puts Shawn on the floor and here’s Vince to watch in person. More shots to the chest have Shawn sailing over the announcers’ table and a running knee drop crushes him again back inside. The falling headbutt makes it worse but Umaga charges into a boot in the corner.

Umaga knocks him straight back down but misses the running hip attack in the corner. The forearm puts Umaga down and there’s the nip up into the top rope elbow. Estrada breaks up Sweet Chin Music and Umaga sends Shawn into the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt. Another running headbutt connects and Umaga chokes away for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t do anything wrong here as it advanced the story, kept Shawn from taking a loss and gave Umaga a dominant performance. It wouldn’t make a ton of sense for someone presented as a savage to care about a disqualification so the ending is as logical as they could have had. Good enough here, especially for such a short match.

Post match Umaga beats Shawn down some more but Vince calls him off from using the Samoan Spike. Vince wants to do this himself and ties Shawn in the ropes. He goes to grab a chair….and an explosion comes out of the ring post. Then another explosion comes out of another post, sending a worried Vince running. Another explosion goes off on the stage and now we have a wall of fire keeping Vince from the ring. We officially have divine intervention.

Vince sped away in the limo during the break.

This Week In Wrestling History, Rock held a funeral for Steve Austin and revealed that he still had the Smoking Skull Title. As a result, Austin crushed Rock’s Lincoln Continental with a monster truck.

Here’s Matt Striker for Striker’s Classroom. He says what we just saw from Austin and Rock is everything wrong with this nation today. Students at his school in New York couldn’t even tell him about the Bill Of Rights so imagine how bad it is here in St. Louis. Everyone is so obsessed with being cool and being like Nelly or whomever that is rather than learning about Nixon. Everyone here gets an F, but here is Carlito to interrupt. The fans are rather pleased to see Carlito, but he isn’t happy that Striker STOLE HIS APPLE.

Teachers didn’t get him back in the day and kept sending him to detention, so he spat the teacher’s apple in his face. Carlito thinks Striker looks like his old teacher so let’s do it again. Striker has an analogy for him (Carlito: “Anal what?”) and it involves giving Carlito a beating. The fight is on but here’s Chris Masters with the Masterlock to Carlito. I never cared for Carlito as a heel so maybe the face turn can help him a bit.

Rob Van Dam vs. Spirit Squad

The Money in the Bank briefcase has been spray painted for a change. Speaking of the Money in the Bank briefcase, it is on the line along with the Intercontinental Title at Backlash should Van Dam lose here. Van Dam tries to send the Squad outside as fast as he can but they finally get him down. The High Spirits (appropriate) set up the guillotine legdrop for the pin in just over a minute.

Trish Stratus, as Mickie James, has a surprise for the real Mickie James.

There is a big gift box in the ring for James (Where do you buy those things?) and here’s Trish (as Mickie, complete with entrance and outfit) to remind us of the time where Mickie gave Trish a present just before Wrestlemania. Since Trish is going to be challenging Mickie at Backlash, she has a gift for her this time around. Cue Mickie, as Trish, to sound rather nervous about what could be in the box.

Trish insists though and it’s….Trish’s boyfriend Jack, tied to a chair. Trish ungags him and he says that he thinks “both of you b****** are crazy.” With the gag put back in, Trish sits down on his lap (the fans seem to approve) and says if Mickie is really Trish, she’ll be worried right now, but if she’s really Mickie, this means nothing.

Trish: “Ya dig?” Mickie: “GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND!” Trish leaves so Mickie (seemingly with some issues of her top not holding up) helps Jack…who she accuses of cheating on her and kicks him in the head. That’s not how it played out when Mary Ann thought she was Ginger on Gilligan’s Island so I’m completely lost.

HHH comes up to Edge and Lita in the back with Edge promising to pin HHH tonight. HHH says it’s possible, unless John Cena does something about it. What has Edge done about Cena taking his title? Think about it.

Here’s the See No Evil trailer, plus some people in the crew talking about the movie. This isn’t on the Network of course.

We look back at Kane snapping on Lilian Garcia.

Backlash rundown, including Big Show vs. Kane.

John Cena/Edge vs. HHH

Lita is here as well. HHH jumps Cena to start and Edge is more than happy to start on the apron. Cena is back up with the whips into the corner and the release fisherman’s suplex for two. A back elbow cuts Cena off though and the fans are VERY pleased. HHH throws in a crotch chop before dropping the knee for two but Cena is back up with the clotheslines.

The Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster though and now Edge is willing to tag himself in. Edge gets in a shot to Cena but then walks into a spinebuster of his own. There’s the facebuster but Edge goes old school with a spinwheel kick. Cena is back in to suplex Edge and the referee gets bumped. HHH whips out the sledgehammer and lays out Cena but walks into the spear to give Edge the pin.

Rating: D+. Just like last week, the wrestling wasn’t the point here and that’s ok. I can go with everyone going for the mind games and getting the pins, as they at least have some bearing on what we will be seeing at Backlash. The falls don’t mean anything about elevating everyone and in this case, that’s an acceptable situation.

Overall Rating: C. The McMahonism stuff is going to be hit or miss for everyone and that’s understandable given the subject matter and how over the top it is. It is rather dumb, but Vince can make something like this work and is certainly trying to do so. Other than that though, Backlash is still a two match show, though Mickie vs. Trish is so goofy and borderline insane that I’m liking it more every week. They’re doing well enough for a show that is nothing but Wrestlemania fallout though and that’s a nice surprise.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – April 10, 2006: They’re Going To Get Letters

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 10, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re on the way to Backlash and one of the bigger matches has already been set up. That would be Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God as the feud has officially gone on both too long and off the rails. I’m not sure what to expect tonight, but the pay per view card needs some building with less than three weeks to go. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and Lita to get things going, complete with a graphic announcing Edge vs. HHH vs. John Cena for the World Title at Backlash. So there’s your fast build. Edge says he’s back in the title hunt and announces the match for the fans. He must be the favorite because he didn’t lose at Wrestlemania or last night so the fans need to start appreciating him. Look no further because the champ is here. Cue John Cena to thank Edge for the introduction because now THE CHAMP IS HERE.

Cena says Edge was indeed the most watched WWE Champion in five years but he was champion for two weeks. The first week people wanted to see who beat John Cena and the second week people wanted to see Cena beat him up. As for tonight, Cena wants to fight but Edge hides behind Lita, saying Cena actually cares about what the fans think. Why is Cena always trying to please them? Unless they are under the age of seven, they don’t care about him.

Cena admits there is some unrest out there because these people know him. They remember him as he was and people want to see the evil side of him come out again. Cena: “Pompous, crass, a little bit sexual.” After the high pitched pop, Cena looks at the fans and says he’ll call them later. Cena knows some fans want to have him say they suck, but it just isn’t his way. If everyone bowed down to him, he would probably get some ego problem with his nose in the air and call himself something like the King of Kings.

Cue HHH to laugh off the idea that Cena doesn’t want to be HHH because no one could ever make that mistake. HHH has to pause for the YOU TAPPED OUT chants but he doesn’t care what they say. Everyone here respects him because he has done a bunch of things. Cena says he doesn’t like HHH but he does respect him so maybe he should learn something from him. Like don’t make the same mistake twice. Last week he was Pedigreed and pinned so would HHH like to try it again?

Cena is ready to fight but Edge cuts them off saying he was the star of Wrestlemania and now they’re trying to leave him behind again. HHH: “Are you done now?” He brings up the times he beat up Foley six years ago and how we’ll see Foley again because he’s always back. As for tonight, HHH has been talking to Vince McMahon, which will see Edge in a handicap match against the two of them. An annoyed Edge storms off to wrap up a pretty long opening segment. Wait not so fast as HHH teases attacking Cena but then extends his hand. Cena slaps him in the face and then leaves.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rob Conway

Conway is shaken up as HHH beat him down on the way to the ring. Shelton Benjamin comes out to join commentary, allowing Conway to get in a cheap shot from behind. Rob kicks Conway out to the floor and hits the spinning kick to the back. Shelton challenges Rob for a match for the briefcase at Backlash as Rob hits the top rope kick to the face and the Five Star for the quick pin.

Post match Van Dam is asked about the challenge and says he isn’t putting up the briefcase at Backlash. Now if Shelton is interested in putting up the Intercontinental Title, we might be onto something. Shelton can have a week to think about it.

Mickie James, with shorter and blonder hair (looking rather like Trish’s), talks about how this has been her greatest Wrestlemania by far. She can’t wait to go back to Toronto to celebrate but Maria points out that Trish is from Toronto. This earns Maria a title shot later tonight, but she’s a little scared because Mickie is, you know, a psycho.

We see a clip from See No Evil. After the clip, Kane isn’t here for an interview so we’ll try again later. This is edited off of the Network.

Post break, Kane is wandering through the back and we hear voices, presumably in Kane’s head, talking about May 19 and how everyone will know.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Big Show/Kane

Kane and Show are challenging. Johnny and Nick are defending for the champs so Show sends Johnny into the corner for the big chop to start. There’s a slam to put Johnny down again and it’s off to Kane for a chop of his own. Johnny gets sent into the corner so Nicky tries his luck, with Johnny having to make his own save. Nicky dropkicks Johnny onto Kane for two but Show comes in for a headbutt. Show throws Johnny onto the rest of the team for a crash and we take a break.

Back with Nicky coming back in and Kenny getting in a cheap shot from the floor to keep Kane in trouble. A distraction makes Show give chase around the ring, allowing Nicky to work on Kane’s leg. Johnny’s missile dropkick to the back gets two but Kane sits up, freaking the champs out. They head outside with Kane wrecking the team and then throwing a bunch of chairs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not terrible but fairly boring here as they go with the storyline ending rather than more of a traditional finish. Kane going insane is something that shouldn’t surprise many people and could lead to something…well probably not good but it’s likely to be different. At least they didn’t switch the titles back in a bad move.

Post match Kane destroys the Spirit Squad and the referee so Show tries to calm him down. That earns Show a chokeslam of his own and Kane leaves on his own.

John Cena is ready to team with HHH tonight but will take him out if he has to.

Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon went to church earlier today and Vince was annoyed that he couldn’t make a donation with a credit card. Then he uses holy water to do a HHH spit and compares himself to God, because creating Adam and Eve is equal to creating Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels. God casts out demons and he cast Ted Turner out of wrestling. Vince even has his own commandments:

1. I am the boss.

2. There are no other bosses before me.

3. Thou shalt not tell me to move on.

4. Thou shall not take thy urine and douse it into my face.

5. Thy shall not cross thy arms and shout SUCK IT.

6. Thy shall not take my disciple’s face and shove it into my rectal cavity.

7. Thy shall not take a garbage can and shove it over my head and fall from a thirty foot ladder and try to take me out.

Vince says even God cannot protect Shawn Michaels at Backlash. Shane reads a version of the Lord’s Prayer (Vince’s semen is mentioned) and Vince promises to unleash the apocalypse on him. If he’s lying, may God strike him down right here. As Shane steps to the side, Vince praises his own name. I’m going to guess that this got them some letters.

Umaga vs. Chris Guy

Guy is better known as Colt Cabana. Umaga sends him into the corner to start and hits the middle rope headbutt. A thumb into the side of the neck finishes Guy in a hurry.

Smackdown Rebound.

Carlito talks about how he got rid of 275lbs of dead weight last week. He isn’t happy with Chris Masters so here is Masters in person. Masters talks about how they have stabbed each other in the back several times and suggests that he screwed Carlito (and himself) out of the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania on purpose. Carlito thinks that’s as stupid as the Masterlock, so let’s have a Masterlock Challenge right now. Masters goes for it and gets chaired down. Maybe he is that stupid.

We look at Chavo Guerrero dedicating his Intercontinental Title shot to Eddie Guerrero, losing, and quitting. Next week: Jim Ross has an exclusive interview with Chavo.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maria

Mickie is defending and looks very Trishesque. Commentary is eating Subway, with Coach taking Joey’s. Maria rolls her up for a fast two so Mickie gets annoyed and kicks her in the ribs. A middle rope ax handle misses but Mickie is right back with a backbreaker. The Mick Kick retains the title in a hurry.

Post match here’s Trish….as Mickie James. Trish does the really excited Mickie impression and kisses Mickie, who bails with what seems to be a blown mind.

John Cena/HHH vs. Edge

Lita is here too of course and Edge jumps Cena from behind to start. Edge stomps away but walks into a belly to belly for two. Lita’s distraction lets Edge get in another shot to take over but Cena grabs the fisherman’s suplex for two. HHH tags himself in to annoy Cena and unloads on Edge in the corner. Lita gets up on the ropes and leans forward to distract HHH though, allowing Edge to send him into the steps.

Back in and the Edge-O-Matic gets two and Edge hammers away in the corner until an atomic drop slows him down. There’s the facebuster but Edge grabs a DDT to put them both down. HHH gets over for the tag to Cena and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. HHH breaks up the FU though and hits the Pedigree on Edge. Cena hits the FU on HHH and grabs the STFU to make Edge tap.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the point here but that makes things more interesting in this case. There is no point in pretending that this match mattered as anything more than mind games and they didn’t bother to here. That’s an interesting way to go for a feud like this and I’m curious to see how it works.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s pretty clear that Backlash is going to be a two match show and only one of those was built up well this week. The Vince vs. Shawn stuff is a little difficult to watch and things are probably only going to get worse. The triple threat is looking cool though and that’s what matters most in the end. As for the rest of the show, what else were you expecting for a bunch of stuff that is going to serve as Backlash filler at best?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – April 3, 2006: The Night After

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 3, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 14,300
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the night after Wrestlemania so it’s time for the biggest show of the year. You can see a lot of different things happening on this show, including some debuts or returns, plus the beginning of the build to Backlash. That’s a very special show for me and I’m really curious to see how the build goes. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

Here’s John Cena, who retained the Raw World Title last night, to open things up. Cena says he knows some fans are not going to want to hear this, but…pause for loud booing…the champ is STILL here. Last night, he and HHH beat the heck out of each other for this title. That’s what this is all about: capturing the title and defending it night in and night out. It isn’t a popularity contest but about rising up and fighting hard while standing tall no matter what. Now he knows that there is a large group of….and here’s HHH to interrupt.

They stare each other down and HHH extends his hand…but pulls it away when Cena eventually goes for it. HHH admits that Cena is a tough kid because Cena found a way to win after that beating. That loss ticked HHH off because he made the same mistake that everyone else has made: they underestimated Cena and he tapped out. That title is still HHH’s though and he wants another shot. Cue a heavily bandaged Edge and Lita to say that HHH lost last night so he loses his spot to someone who won last night.

Edge is still perfect at Wrestlemania, but HHH asks how many of those matches were in the main event. That seems to touch a nerve with Edge, so HHH tells him to go to the back with the other curtain jerkers. Edge says at least he beat Cena and won the title, though HHH said he missed Edge’s title reign because he was taking a nap. Edge could have taken a nap last night after he stole the show but he stayed awake to see HHH tap out. Cena: “It seems that He-Man and Skeletor have some issues.”

That doesn’t sit well with the two of them so Cena has an idea: the two of them in a #1 contenders match. Edge suggests a handicap match so they can beat up his “bling bling a**.” Cena: “You lost me at the end there. Did you just say bling bling? I should kick your a** just for saying that.” HHH: “Yeah, yeah you should.” HHH thinks the handicap match sounds like a good idea so Cena is in. HHH and Edge were having a really good exchange there and I could go for more of them.

Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Spirit Squad

Kenny and Mikey are challenging for the Squad with the rest of the team at ringside. Mikey cartwheels out of a whip into the ropes and then gets thrown at Johnny. Kane hits a side slam into the top rope clothesline but Mikey gets pulled to the floor, sending Kane shoulder first into the post. The Squad starts working on the arm but Mikey’s hammerlock is countered into a Samoan drop. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Show but the referee gets distracted, allowing the group beatdown. The team gets together and lifts Show up for the big slam. Kenny drops the top rope leg for the pin and the titles in a big upset.

Rating: D. There’s your big surprise title change with the monsters finally losing the titles. I’m surprised that it wasn’t a more screwy finish but there is something to be said about having the Squad manage to slay the giants after no one else has been able to come close. Show and Kane were long since done with the titles so points for a surprise title change and the lack of some ridiculous way to get the titles off of them.

Post break, the very excited Spirit Squad chants about winning the titles.

Video on Money in the Bank with Rob Van Dam winning the briefcase.

Here’s Van Dam for a chat. He has had a lot of nicknames over his career and now he is Mr. Money in the Bank. There have been a lot of congratulations over the last 24 hours and a lot of people asking when he is cashing in. He isn’t waiting as long as Edge did, because good timing isn’t just important. It’s EXTREME.

Chris Masters vs. ???

Masters is ticked off and the Masterlock finishes in less than a minute.

Post match here’s Carlito, who loads up the apple but swallows it to raise Masters’ hand. Masters is pleased but gets the Backstabber, followed by the apple spit. The fans really approve of that one.

Here’s Shawn Michaels for a chat. Last night, his match with Vince McMahon was everything he expected, including being downright ugly. Yes he could have won the match a lot earlier with one Sweet Chin Music, but last night wasn’t about a wrestling match. The point was to put Vince through some punishment and now Shawn has been given a great relief. Now he doesn’t have to see Vince’s orange body or listen to weird Oscar speeches. Since the cool thing to do around here is want to beat up John Cena, maybe Shawn can do it too, perhaps for the WWE Title.

Cue Shane McMahon but before he can say anything, Shawn welcomes him as the newest member of Vince’s special club. Shane ignores that by introducing Vince, who is in a neck brace with a rather large bandage on his forehead. Vince talks about Linda and Stephanie being backstage last night and seeing what happened to him. That’s nothing compared to Shane’s trauma when he was shoved face first into Vince’s rectal cavity. Shane is now emotionally scarred for life but now Shawn wants a title shot.

Vince has two words for him too: divine intervention. Last night wasn’t fair because it was Vince vs. Shawn/God in a handicap match. Shawn thinks Vince has finally gone completely insane and asks for Vince’s point. Well maybe he could have gotten to it if you hadn’t cut him off. Vince says Shawn can’t win the war against the McMahons because they’re not done. At Backlash, it’s Vince/Shane vs. Shawn/God. Shawn is stunned, because that was actually just announced.

Great story about this. The idea of the match was put together when Vince and company, including Michael Hayes, were on the way back from Europe. Vince pitched the idea and said he was going to do it. Hayes, paraphrased: “COULD YOU WAIT UNTIL WE’RE NOT 20,000 FEET OVER THE OCEAN TO SAY THAT???”

We look back at the Tag Team Title change.

We look back at Carlito turning on Masters.

Trish Stratus/Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Mickie is now in full Trish gear, including with her hair done in the same way. Trish is STUNNED, despite this not being the first time Mickie has done this. Candice certainly seems to approve of Mickie as Trish before getting headlocked by the real Trish to start. The Matrix into the headscissors takes Candice down as Mickie is too busy hanging the title on the ropes. Mickie comes in and slaps Torrie in the back of the head before kicking Trish off the apron. The Mick Kick finishes Torrie in a hurry.

Post match Trish hands Mickie the title, sending Mickie into a lot of screaming.

Video on the Hall of Fame inductions.

Here’s Chavo Guerrero to, after soaking in the EDDIE chants, introduce himself. Last night was a great honor to him to see Rey Mysterio win the World Heavyweight Championship. He wanted to have his own title shot last night but tonight is his Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero is challenging and takes Shelton down for a very quick two. Back up and Shelton takes him into the corner but Chavo shoves him out, only to miss a dropkick. Shelton knees him to the floor and takes it back inside for a chinlock. Chavo uses the power of blood relatives to fight up and now the dropkick connects. Another dropkick gets two and there’s a headscissors to put Shelton down to quite the reaction. Three Amigos set up the frog splash but Shelton moves, setting up the exploder to retain.

Rating: C. This didn’t last long but the crowd reaction was quite the nice surprise. The Eddie stuff can be annoying at times but given the way the fans are reacting to the whole thing, I can’t blame WWE for at least trying it. The problem is they are more wading in it than dabbling in it, which is where it becomes exploiting rather than honoring. That seems like it might be continuing with Chavo.

Post match, Chavo seems disgusted with himself as he leaves.

During the break, Chavo quit.

Here’s Ric Flair for a chat. He talks about having some unbelievable moments in Chicago and some of them have even been in his career. Last night he did not win but he still has one more World Title run in him. Cue a man in sunglasses and a hat speaking Spanish, demanding that everyone listen to him. His name is Armando Alejandro Estrada to say that Flair’s time is over. America needs a new hero, but Flair cuts him off.

Estrada cuts him off as well, saying he grew up watching Flair on his broken down TV in Cuba. Now Estrada is a businessman who enjoys the finer things in life. He enjoys the clothes, the women and the money, so he has the man who is going to change WWE. Flair says let’s meet him, so here is Umaga. Flair tries to jump him on the way in and is promptly destroyed, including the running hip attack in the corner. Some headbutts into a torture rack slam leave Flair laying. Well that worked, partially because of that fairly cool torture rack slam.

Edge/HHH vs. John Cena

Non-title, Lita is in the villains’ corner and they don’t have to tag. HHH chills on the top as Cena sends Edge hard into the corner. Lita grabs the foot though and Edge gets in a cheap shot to take over. The fans are rather against Cena, with commentary calling them traditionalists. Yeah like back in the day when you booed the good guy out of the building every chance you could.

Edge gets sent outside to set up the HHH showdown but gets back in for a cheap shot to put Cena down again. That brings HHH down off the ropes but Edge spears him by mistake. Edge shrugs so it’s Cena unloading on him, only to have HHH get up and hammer on Edge in the corner. Cena loads up the Shuffle but runs into the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C-. You can see the triple threat from here and that’s a little bit better than another HHH singles match for the title. HHH attacking Edge was a cool moment and I could go for seeing something else between them. It would certainly be a fresh feud but at the moment, it makes more sense for both of them to go after Cena because they’re both much more about the title than anything else.

Overall Rating: C. They did some good stuff here but there was also a bunch of stuff that just came and went without being all that interesting. This wasn’t the big over the top insanity that the show would become in the later years but we did get the Tag Team Title change, Umaga debuting, Masters and Carlito imploding and some stuff being set up for Backlash. They moved things forward, but it still wasn’t the best show. It felt big though and you can feel the Wrestlemania energy still hanging on.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 20, 2006: Well Done

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 20, 2006
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

So we are finally done with everything between here and Wrestlemania, unless WWE brings back some randy episode of All American Wrestling to promote the show. There is still a little more work to do to get to Wrestlemania and there are four shows left to get it all done. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Vince and Shane McMahon cheating Shawn Michaels out of the street fight at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

The Spirit Squad is in the ring to cheer about Shawn tapping and to introduce the McMahon. That means a marching band playing When The Saints Go Marching In, a bunch of confetti, and Vince dancing to guarantee a good opening. Vince praises Shane, who talks about Shawn losing on Saturday. That makes it McMahons 3, Michaels 0, including two pins on one night. Shane knows Vince is going to make it 4-0 at Vince’s greatest creation when he beats Shawn at Wrestlemania.

Vince says Shane is his greatest creation and talks about various horrible things he has done to Shawn in recent weeks. Things are all heading to Wrestlemania though and it is going to be a turning point for him. Shawn is going to crash at Wrestlemania and become his old self again. Just to make it more fun, their match is now No Holds Barred. Shane: “I love it!” As for tonight, Shawn can face HHH. Before we get to that though, here’s John Cena to interrupt.

Vince doesn’t like being disturbed but Cena tells Darth McMahon to calm down. Cena doesn’t want to wait for Wrestlemania because he took a Pedigree on Saturday. Shane gets in Cena’s face and says he doesn’t make the rules around here and threats are made. Cena wastes no time in taking the shirt off but Vince breaks it up and gets annoyed at the CENA chants. As for tonight, Cena can have HHH….when he teams with Shawn against HHH/Shane. Vince dances off as only he can, but Shane is a little unsure about this one.

Post break Shane isn’t sure about this but here’s HHH to say Vince better have a plan. Vince is going to be out there with them.

Carlito vs. Kane

Carlito ducks a right hand to start and slugs away in the corner to as much success as you would expect. A DDT works a bit better as Kane takes a full second before sitting up. The faceplant lets Kane step on Carlito’s head but he comes back with a quick Backstabber. Kane isn’t having any of that and grabs him by the throat, followed by the uppercuts. The top rope clothesline is dropkicked out of the air for two but Kane is back with a big boot. Carlito breaks up the chokeslam, only to springboard into another attempt to give Kane the pin.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t much to see here but that’s not exactly surprising. You can only get so much out of Carlito against a monster like Kane and that doesn’t exactly bode well for the Wrestlemania title match. Chris Masters and Carlito aren’t the best team in the first place and putting them against two monsters because there is no one else to get the shot isn’t a good sign.

The Blackjacks are going into the Hall of Fame. I would have thought they were in before.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Shelton is defending but has no Mama. Flair and Van Dam knock the champ down to start and Flair drops a knee. Van Dam’s spinning legdrop lets Flair get two but Rob isn’t happy with the cover. The alliance falls apart in a hurry this time around so Rob gives Flair the spinning legdrop this time around. Rob hits the big running flip dive to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Flair and Van Dam both busted open as their heads collided on the flip dive. Flair stomps Van Dam in the corner but Shelton pokes Flair in the eye to take him down. Rob is sent hard into the post so Flair is left to chop away at Shelton. A Samoan drop into a suplex puts Flair down for two with Rob making a save this time around. Rob grabs a northern lights suplex for two on Shelton but Flair gets in a save of his own.

The spinwheel kick staggers Flair again and Rob follows with Rolling Thunder. Shelton is kicked to the floor and Rob adds the split legged moonsault for two. The champ brings in the title but gets kicked away, leaving Rob to miss the Five Star. Flair Figure Fours Van Dam but Shelton runs in for the cover to pin Flair and retain.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to and there is a good chance that this is going to shift things over to Shelton vs. Van Dam for the title. Flair has already had his title reign and there is no reason to keep him around the title picture after the losses. Van Dam needs something to get him back into the thick of things and an Intercontinental Title feud would do just fine.

We look at Saturday Night’s Main Event Cutting Edge, with Mick Foley destroying Edge. A Conchairto on the ramp was included.

Here’s a bandaged Mick Foley for a chat. Foley says Edge is speaking the truth when he says that Foley is a big teddy bear. It’s true that Foley has never had the Wrestlemania moment and yes, a few weeks ago he would have said a town’s name, plugged a book no one would read, and then prance around with a sock puppet. Then Edge busted him open with a Conchairto and it was different.

This time it was Chinese food, because just a short while after tasting it, he wanted it all over again. Edge has awakened something inside of Foley and it is known as Cactus Jack. The BANG BANG brings out…actually just Lita this time around. The fans aren’t pleased to see her but Lita says none of them are getting any of her so just shut up. Edge is stuck in Detroit with vertigo so Lita needs to speak to the Winner the Pooh shirt wearing Foley, just for a minute.

See, Edge has an idea: let’s just have a wrestling match at Wrestlemania. That isn’t Foley’s thing, but maybe it could be his Wrestlemania moment. Foley isn’t sold and demands that Lita slap him so Edge can come out here for the cheap shot. He demands that Lita slap him so she does, drawing out Edge. Foley is ready for him though and sends Edge to the floor, setting up the Mandible Claw on Lita to keep Edge from coming in for the big beatdown. Edge is furious as Foley leaves.

Now confirmed for Wrestlemania: Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson in a Playboy pillow fight.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Hold on though as Candice is carried out on a bed with her big Playboy cover behind it. Candice throws pillows at Torrie and the Widow’s Peak gives Victoria the pin in less than a minute.

Big Show vs. Chris Masters

Show starts with the big chops in the corner and shrugs off Masters’ clotheslines. A superkick drops Masters instead and another shot puts him on the floor. Show follows him and misses a big boot, crotching himself on the barricade. Masters uses the distraction to grab a chair and blasts Show for the quick DQ.

Post match another chair shot lets Masters try the Masterlock but settle for a posting instead.

Here’s Mickie James and there is a big present in the ring. She admits that she did the wrong thing on Saturday and it’s a shame because the two of them could have been beautiful together. There is a silver lining though, because now she can become Women’s Champion. That way millions of girls can look up to her, but she won’t shove them away like Trish did to her. As for tonight though, Mickie has a gift for her. Trish doesn’t come out, so Mickie has the box opened to reveal….a kidnapped Ashley.

Now Trish comes out but as she’s a few feet from the ring, Mickie tells her to stay down or she’ll….I’m not sure what she could do to Ashley in the time it would take for Trish to get inside actually but it stops her anyway. Mickie screams at Ashley but walks too close to Trish, who pulls her out to the floor. Trish goes in to save Ashley, but Mickie gets back in to give Trish the DDT. With Trish out, Mickie kisses her and smiles a lot, despite having a busted nose.

This Week In Wrestling History: Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin in the submission match. I still get something new out of that match every time I see it.

Wrestlemania rundown.

HHH/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena

Vince McMahon is here too. Shawn charges straight at Shane, who runs into the crowd in fear. As security holds Shawn back and Vince does a little Shane dance, Shane sneaks back around (that red baseball jersey is such a great disguise) to ringside but Cena punches him out of the air and we’re ready to go. Hold on though as Vince says that’s a DQ for Cena using a closed fist.

Cena is thrown out under threats of losing the title so let’s have a handicap match.

HHH/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Security holds Shawn back so HHH can get in a cheap shot before the bell rings. Vince has a mic to taunt Shawn as Shane gets in a kick to the ribs. HHH comes in and gets caught with a right hand, only to grab the spinebuster on Shawn. Shane adds an elbow and hands it right back to HHH to unload in the corner.

The facebuster cuts Shawn down again and Vince declares this as brutal. Shawn fights back on Shane though and hits the forearm into the nipup. HHH comes in sans tag so Shawn fights them both off and sends HHH outside. The top rope elbow connects on Shane but HHH breaks up Sweet Chin Music. That means a crotching against the post but here’s Cena to shove Shane off the top. Security comes in for the no contest.

Rating: C-. This was another storyline advancing match as Shawn continues to want to beat the fire out of Vince, who continues to get himself in trouble by not knowing when to let something go. We should be in for a pair of good matches at Wrestlemania, as both of these stories have been set up rather well.

Shawn and Cena clean house but Vince announces himself (with his eyes bugging out) vs. Cena for next week.

Overall Rating: B. I really don’t remember liking the build to Wrestlemania this well as the Raw side has been very good. They have three big matches on the red side and they are making me want to see all three of them. Just keep things going over the last week and then make the show work well in Chicago. Rather strong show here that did everything they needed to do with less than two weeks before Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2010 (2013 Redo): That Shouldn’t Have Happened

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight’s show focuses on one idea: the Nexus Invasion. Back in February of 2010 ECW was replaced by a new competition show called NXT. Eight rookies tried to become the next WWE Superstar with Wade Barrett winning the competition. One night in June, these eight men invaded Raw and took over the arena to end the show. Over the next three months, these men, now called Nexus, terrorized the company and John Cena in particular. Tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a Survivor Series elimination tag match. We also have Kane vs. Mysterio and Orton vs. Sheamus in the title matches. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending and has Vickie with him. These two have fought a ridiculous number of times, even trumping Edge vs. Cena. Ziggler took the title nine days ago with Vickie’s assistance. Vickie’s EXCUSE ME is finally cut off by Kofi’s music. Kingston quickly takes him down and stomps away before clotheslining Dolph to the outside. A suicide dive totally misses though and Ziggler gets a breather.

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These two are capable of having far better matches if they don’t have to kill time until the run-in ending. Far too much of the match was spent in the chinlockery and it’s a rare bad opening match for Summerslam. Kofi continues his career path as Ziggler is about to start his climb to almost the top of the company.

Ziggler bails and Nexus destroys Kingston. Barrett talks about how Team WWE only has six men but the seventh doesn’t matter because Nexus is going to destroy them. This felt like the opening of Raw.

Jericho begs Mr. MITB and the US Champion the Miz to be on Team WWE. Edge is on the Miz’s other side eating a Slim Jim because Edge is awesome. Jericho says Miz doing this in LA could be bigger than Titanic or Avatar Miz doesn’t seem intersted.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Alicia is champion and the flavor of the month of the division. Melina has on a headdress that makes her look like a peacock. She looks….stupid. Melina takes forever taking off her furry boots before we’re finally ready to go. After they stare at each other for a good while Melina shoves her into the corner and then they stare at each other some more. The champion takes it to the mat with a headlock before Melina comes up with forearms. Off to a kind of Indian Deathlock with a curb stomp to Fox followed by a pair of knees to Fox’s ribs.

Some more forearms have Fox in trouble but Melina lands on her bad knee which cost her eight months off. The knee is good enough for Melina to superkick Fox, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Fox goes after the arm because she’s not that bright. Melina realizes how stupid this is and makes her comeback with a kick to the ribs. A LOUD scream sets up a kick to the back and kind of a Diamond Cutter faceplant for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Both girls looked great but my dear merciful goodness Fox was embarrassing out there. When Jerry Lawler is making fun of you for having a lack of psychology, it’s a bad sign for your match. The Divas division hit a black hole after Trish and Lita left and this was a great example of how bad it was getting.

Post match Josh Matthews goes in to talk to Melina but here’s Laycool to interrupt. They’re the co-women’s champions here after literally tearing the belt in two. They try to take a picture with Melina but she kicks them both in the ribs. Layla trips Melina up though, allowing Michelle to clearly not make contact on a big boot. Fox tries to join in but gets beaten down as well. The titles would be unified next month.

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

We recap Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society. Mysterio had won a match against Punk, forcing him to shave his head. Punk wore a mask to hide it but Big Show ripped it off to humiliate him. Punk’s Society (Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena) got together and broke Big Show’s hand in a segment much funnier than it should have been due to Big Show’s face while being choked out.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Kane is standing by Undertaker’s casket and talks about getting revenge on Rey Mysterio for attacking Undertaker. Raw World Champion Sheamus comes in and proposes an alliance but Kane wants no part of it. Kane says Sheamus has guts and they’ll be on the floor if he interrupts Kane again. Sheamus is still a heel here and is actually pretty awesome.

Speaking of awesome, here’s Miz to answer Jericho and Edge’s offer from earlier. Miz doesn’t care if the fans want him on the team or not because he’s the missing link in the WWE chain. Earlier today Cena admitted he was wrong about Miz and brags about Bret Hart begging him to be on the team on Raw.

Jericho gave Miz a Fozzy CD but Miz threw it away. Miz’s former partner John Morrison admitted Miz was the HBK of the team, Edge gave him Slim Jims and Truth wrote him a rap. Miz is the future and brags about how much bigger he is than everything else. He actually agrees to be on the team tonight but the fans aren’t allowed to do his catchphrase with him. Cole loses his mind over Miz’s announcement.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus. There isn’t much to say here as Orton won a three way over Edge and Jericho on Raw to earn the shot. Sheamus won the title at Fatal Fourway with the unintentional assistance of Nexus. Sheamus has been hurting a lot of people lately and he claims Orton is the next victim.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. This is during Orton’s bare arms phase which was always a strange look. Cole lets us know that if anyone interferes on Sheamus’ behalf, they’re suspended. If Orton loses, he gets no rematch. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and shouts in his face. It works so well that he does it again, earning him right hands to the face. Orton stomps Sheamus down into the corner and hits a hard clothesline to put him down again.

Orton drops him with another clothesline and a third to send the champion to the floor. The fourth straight clothesline sends Sheamus into the crowd but Orton has to go back inside before the ten count. Back in and Orton hits the circle stomp for two and a catapult into the bottom rope sends Sheamus outside again. The champion FINALLY gets a breather by sending Orton shoulder first into the steps. They’re doing the methodical build here which implies they have a lot of time.

Sheamus takes over with the power brawling via a knee to the ribs and a reverse chinlock. Back up and Orton counters a suplex but the Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Sheamus rams Orton’s back into the barricade and the look on Orton’s face is great. Back in and a hard ax handle to the head gets two. This is surprisingly good stuff so far which leaves me with little to talk about.

Sheamus grabs something resembling a cross face chicken wing as is the case with most guys who come out of FCW. That’s one of the problems with one training area: you get a lot of the same spots from guys. Orton comes back with kicks to the ribs but another ax handle to the face takes him down. Back to the chicken wing and Sheamus channels his inner Jericho, telling the referee to ask him. Back up and Orton suplexes Sheamus down but can’t follow up.

They slug it out with Orton taking over. The fans are WAY into Randy here. A bad powerslam puts Sheamus down which Cole calls “A malignant growth of momentum.” Lay off the JR metaphors dude. A superplex gets two for Randy but he walks into the Irish Curse (note that at this point, the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) was called the Irish Curse. I’m using the more well known move: the Rock Bottom backbreaker) for two.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus falls to the floor, only to be caught in the Elevated DDT as he comes back inside. The RKO is shoved off for two but Orton escapes the Irish Curse. Brogue Kick is only good for two which is a very rare sight to see. What isn’t a rare sight tonight is a bad finish, much like here as Sheamus gets himself disqualified for a chair shot.

Rating: B-. Bad finish to a good match here. Sheamus is getting better and better which makes you wonder why they book him so badly in present times. The guy is clearly talented but he hasn’t had to really work hard to beat a guy in months. This was a good match though and they clearly have chemistry together.

Post match Orton snaps and kicks Sheamus low before RKOing him onto the announce table. The fans want Miz but get a trailer for John Cena’s new movie instead.

We recap Kane vs. Mysterio. Kane won MITB and cashed in the same night to win the Smackdown Title over Rey. This was at the same time that someone had attacked Undertaker and left him in a “vegetative state” because we can’t say coma in WWE. Kane swore to find who did it but Mysterio accused Kane of doing it himself. Tonight is the rematch and somehow a way for Kane to prove his innocence.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

There’s a nice story going here of Rey speeding things up but Kane easily stopping him with power stuff. Power vs. speed is going to work almost every time and it helps that both guys are very talented. Kane bends Rey’s back over his knee before getting two off a side slam. Mysterio manages to break up the top rope clothesline but a rana attempt is easily blocked.

Now the clothesline misses and Mysterio counters another backbreaker into a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT (here’s a good example of why Matt Striker is annoying. He calls it a Slop Drop, which is another name for a reverse DDT, but come on: does ANYONE think of the Godwinns when they see that move? Is there some Godwinn fan base out there that he’s trying to appeal to? It comes off like him trying to sound smart without adding anything at all). The seated senton puts Kane down and a spinning DDT gets two more.

A hard kick to the face gets the same but Mysterio dives into an uppercut. Kane opens up the casket to show that it’s empty but Rey sends Kane into the ropes. The 619 is caught and Rey is thrown into the casket but he kicks out of danger. Now the 619 connects but Kane gets the feet up on the springboard splash. Rey stops in mid jump though and gets two off a rollup, only to be chokeslammed to death for the pin.

Rating: C. This was about as good as this match could be. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to buy Mysterio as a physical threat to a guy the size of Kane. Yeah something like the 619 could stun him but it’s hard to believe anything but that or a rollup is going to get more than a one count. That’s not to say either guy is bad, but it’s the problem with a guy Mysterio’s size.

Post match Kane wants to make Rey pay for what he did to Undertaker. He promises to make Mysterio hurt for eternity and lays him out with two chokeslams and a tombstone. Kane goes to the casket and yep Undertaker is inside. HOW DID HE DO THAT I ASK YOU!!! Taker asks the half dead Rey what happened but Rey says no. The brothers go at it and Kane beats Taker down, I guess turning heel again and shocking no one. The idea is that Taker is still banged up and doesn’t have his full powers back yet.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Nexus vs. Team WWE. I think I’ve covered this well enough but it’s the first season of NXT coming to the main roster to try to take over the company. Over the last few months they’ve attacked various people and tonight it’s about revenge. Great Khali was originally on the team but was taken out by Nexus, leaving Team WWE with just six guys. Team WWE (also called Cena’s Army) is having a lot of problems with Jericho and Edge quitting over Cena’s leadership, only to come back later.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

You should know most of the Nexus, though Sheffield later changed his name to Ryback. As for Team WWE, Miz isn’t the last man. He comes out but Cena stops him, because it needed to be someone who made his decision earlier. Instead it’s……DANIEL BRYAN! This requires a backstory. The night Nexus debuted, Bryan was a member of the team. However he got fired for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a necktie as it wasn’t PG. Tonight is Bryan’s return and he wasn’t a surprise at all. See, WWE.com actually spoiled the return by mistake, ruining it for anyone who saw the website before the match.

It’s a huge brawl to start and Cole RIPS into Bryan for the sake of Miz. Bryan starts with Young and a quick LeBell (YES) Lock makes it 7-6 in less than 45 seconds. Justin Gabriel is in next and gets to fight Chris Jericho for his troubles. Some kicks to the ribs allow for the tag to Truth as things speed up. A suplex into a Stunner is good for two but Gabriel comes back with a spin kick to the face. Off to Tarver who was about as worthless as you could ask for a man to be.

Tarver charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Morrison to clean house with some dropkicks. The Fying Chuck (Disaster Kick) sets up Starship Pain (split legged twisting moonsault) for the second elimination. The remaining five members of Nexus hit the floor for a meeting before everything falls apart. Sheffield gets the nod and easily throws Morrison around. A big powerslam puts Morrison down and some snap suplexes work on his back even more. Morrison tries a comeback but Gabriel kicks him in the back of the head, allowing Sheffield to hit a big clothesline for the elimination.

Truth comes in and another clothesline ties the match up maybe twenty seconds later. Jericho comes in but gets sent into the buckle, allowing for the tag off to Barrett. Otunga is in a few seconds later, before he got good in the ring. Now let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway back to Barrett to crank on his NXT mentor’s arms but Jericho gets a boot up in the corner. A clothesline puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to Slater and Hart.

Old Man Bret pounds away on Heath for a few moments and doesn’t look half bad doing it. It doesn’t have the same snap that it used to but Bret’s offense still looks good. He puts on the Sharpshooter but Wade slides in a chair. Bret lets go of the hold and cracks Sheffield over the back in self defense, drawing a DQ. There really wasn’t another way to get rid of him due to an inability to take bumps. Sheffield staggers to his feet and walks into a Codebreaker from Jericho followed by a spear from Edge to tie us up.

To recap it’s Cena, Jericho, Edge and Bryan vs. Gabriel, Barrett, Otunga, Slater. On paper, this should be pure domination. Gabriel is in to face Edge but after scoring some kicks to the chest, Justin walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. A big spin kick puts Edge down and it’s off to Slater, whose shorter hair makes him look like an even bigger tool than he does today. Slater pulls Edge into the corner for the tag off to Barrett who hooks the chinlock. Edge quickly fights up and scores with a spinwheel kick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker.

Back to Otunga who is almost booed out of the building. A standing spinebuster is easily countered into Edge’s Impaler and there’s the tag off to Jericho. Has Cena even been in yet? The running bulldog sets up the Lionsault and the Walls are good for the submission from Otunga. Jericho immediately knocks Slater off the apron and into the announce table to take him down. Back in and the top rope back elbow has Heath reeling but Jericho almost runs into Cena, allowing Slater to hit his running sleeper drop to pin Chris.

Edge comes in to yell at Cena but Slater rams him into John for a rollup pin thirty seconds later. Edge lays out Cena and Jericho adds a few kicks to the ribs of his own. So we have Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Gabriel/Barrett with Cena getting caught in the Nexus corner. Barrett comes in to pepper Cena with rights and lefts before it’s off to Justin to crank on the arm. Cena tries to fight back but walks into a side slam from Barrett for no cover. John comes back with a quick fisherman’s suplex but Slater breaks up the hot tag attempt.

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Bryan looks at Nexus but here’s Miz to blast him in the back with the MITB case, giving Barrett an easy pin. Gabriel hits a hard right hand in the corner to put Cena down but Cena comes back with his finishing sequence to take Gabriel down. He loads up the AA but Barrett makes a blind tag and breaks it up with a shot to the head.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and never dragged, but the ending doesn’t hold up when you take it out of the moment. Now one thing that does need to be kept in mind is Cena wasn’t in the match until over twenty minutes after the start so he was hardly banged up until the very end. That DDT on the concrete is a bit too much to take though, as Cena goes from out cold to fine in less than a minute. I can’t quite buy that.

This also brings up to the problem with Nexus: they never really won anything. At the end of the day, Barrett was the only one to have any success for a long time and to this day he’s one of two of the seven here to do much of anything. You have Ryback doing pretty well, but the rest are all midcard to lower card guys who haven’t accomplished much. As of August 2013, Tarver is gone, Otunga and Young are lucky to have jobs, Slater is a comedy jobber and Gabriel is a Superstars mainstay. That’s what killed Nexus: at the end of the day, they were a bunch of jobbers who swarmed big names and nothing more.

Overall Rating: D. This is a pretty terrible show with only two matches being decent at all. The main event is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Nexus fizzled out so badly that their existence is really just a big footnote anymore. Bryan wound up being the big star out of all of them and he was literally on the team for one night only. Nexus would go on to do nothing but annoy fans over the next few months, even with new members and Punk as a leader. The show isn’t worth seeing and thankfully things would pick up next year.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2010 (Original): Welcome Home

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well we’re back again for the *insert Summerfest joke here* show. This is the epitome of a one match show as EVERYTHING has been about the Nexus invasion. The theory is that Cena turns tonight but I’m not sold on it. Nexus more or less has to win tonight or the angle is worthless. I’m not sold on this card very well at all, but it’s starting now so let’s get to it.

The opening is of course all about Nexus, which makes sense. The arena and set look great as this really is a huge show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty clear that Dolph retains here. Vickie does her usual whining and catchphrase here just to be annoying. Nice pop for Kofi but nothing great. We’re in MALTA BABY! Kofi misses a dive to start and is in trouble early on. Apparently the tag titles either aren’t major titles or his win is forgotten into the Rocker Tag Title Book of History. King makes a joke about liking 11s or 12s. On a 1-10 scale you freaking perverts.

Dolph is mostly dominant here as he hooks a chinlock. Kofi can’t get the “controlled frenzy” going according to Cole. Does everything have to have a name now? Dolph gets two on a roll thru of a cross body. We get a Fameasser reference from Striker as it makes Kofi famous. Even Lawler chuckles at it. He’s more energetic tonight for some reason. Trouble in Paradise misses, which might be because OF THE MASSIVE CHANTING OF BOOM BOOM BOOM by Kofi.

Sleeper goes on….AND HERE THEY COME? Yes, Nexus hits the ring and beats them up before circling Kofi. The big beatdown follows as I have a bad feeling about where this show is going. Barrett says this is a preview of later tonight. Expect a Kofi run-in later. Nexus is united apparently.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match for what they had, but the ending is very strange. This wasn’t bad, but with no ending like this it really hurt things. I really do expect the Cena turn now for some reason, which is why it likely won’t happen. Anyway, this needed a finish to be good but even still it’s decent.

Jericho wants Miz on the team tonight and so does Edge. Edge eating a Slim Jim is epic for no reason at all. They say he could be a huge star but doesn’t say yes.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Well at least this should be short. Melina has a freaking headdress on and she looks like a freaking idiot. Fox is attractive with straight hair. Shame that’s not the case here. Melina is in the skin colored tights which are always weird looking. Melina is the hometown girl so she’s all awesome and such apparently. Yep this is boring. It’s not bad, but seriously does ANYONE care about this match?

Still waiting on something to happen here. Melina might have hurt her knee on a move from the ropes. Alicia of course does nothing about it. Nice superkick by Melina. This is just boring me to death but Melina’s gyrations are helping a bit. That girl could make a KILLING as a stripper. After FAR too long, Melina wins with more or less a weird snapmare. Apparently it’s called the Mind Trip. Ok then.

After the win, cue Laycool to annoy Melina. They say this is awesome and want to take a picture with “two champions” in it so hopefully this will lead to a unification thing soon. Brawl ensues and the worst kick every by Michelle misses by at least 8 inches. Laycool’s music continues to be awesome. Michelle does a knee into the tables to put down Melina for a good while.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The ending came out of nowhere but thankfully it ended a bad match. I’m very glad to see that there might be a unification soon, but will anyone care even after that? It’s definitely the right move but with people like Fox chasing it then the whole thing is in trouble. Not a good match.

After a quick recap of the SES vs. Show, we go to this.

Straightedge Society vs. Big Show

How appropriate to have this after that video package. It’s Mercury, Punk and Gallows. Show dominates Mercury and Gallows in about a minute to get us to Punk, who gets face cheers. Oh and Show’s hand is fine. Gallows and Mercury get back up and the 3-1 beatdown begins.

Show comes back of course as it occurs to me that Punk has the most hair of anyone out there. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and gets caught by the throat. He kicks Show in the head which was cool looking. Cole calls a bulldog a DDT because he’s a stupid man. Punk does a bunch of strikes to the hand and it just ticks Show off. Punk gets knocked to the floor and leaves. Mercury gets chokeslammed and pinned while on top of Gallows. Here lies the SES.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as more or less we knew it was just going to be Show winning in the end due to his huge size advantage. This was an ok match and the ending advances the story, but dang man why do they have to crush the SES again? For once could they actually let something go on for more than a month without crippling it?

Kane talks to the casket and Sheamus of all people comes up, saying he’d like to borrow the casket to put Orton in. Kane says no. Sheamus says stay out of his way and Kane yells at him. Odd moment but cool potential.

And here’s Miz. The Raw title match is next so he has a reason to be here. He wants to know if he should be on the team. The fans cheer but he doesn’t care what they think. Allegedly Hart and Cena begged for him to be on the team. He talks about every person on the team and how they’ve all done things to get him on the team. Awesome promo but he wants the fans to admit it. After a HUGE delay, he says yes he’ll be on the team. Cole orgasms loudly.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which isn’t much at all. Orton won a match and now he’s the number one contender. The hype for this has more or less not existed.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is in purple and Sheamus is in green, making this just freaking weird looking. Sheamus powers him back to start which is odd since he’s kind of quietly powerful. Slow start here which should be a good sign but I’m not sure here. They tease a countout and Orton is dominating which is a weird formula for a match.

This is just boring as they’re going WAY too slow. Orton’s arm gets worked on and the elevated DDT is reversed into a backdrop. Sheamus is in control and not much is going on. He hits basic moves and covers. This is apparently the main event and it started about 5 minutes after 9. He gets technical with a drop toehold to put Orton down.

Sheamus likes to use a double axehandle which is kind of a cool move for him to use. More people should use it. When I say more I mean like one total. Sheamus at least works on the arm which is the right idea if nothing else. Orton gets the backbreaker as this is just DRAGGING. The boo/yay cheers start up for punching. Orton does his usual array of clotheslines as I fight off sleep due to this.

Middle rope suplex gets two for the guy with non-mayonnaise colored skin. Sheamus hits his backbreaker for two which of course Cole is surprised by when the kickout happens. Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus hits the floor. There’s the DDT but the RKO is countered which surprised me. He shoved him off and it legit looks like he hit it from both angles. Clearly countered though which was cool.

High Cross and RKO are both countered but Orton walks into the Brogue Kick for two as the fans are into this now. That’s the issue with WWE Title matches: you don’t have to get into them for a long time and everyone knows it so for the first ten minutes no one cares. Sheamus gets a chair and shoves the referee out for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh this was bad. The ending crippled the actually solid last 5 minutes or so as the rest of this was just flat out boring. The slow style of both guys crippled each other and the ending had me shaking my head at how freaking dumb it was. I don’t get this at all as if nothing else have Sheamus get the chair shot and win that way but dang man, this was freaking stupid.

Post match Orton snaps and hits the RKO on the table. Good for him. Table didn’t break so at least it looked good. Sheamus is announced as still champion which should make us wait for either HHH or Miz’s theme music. Naturally we get the Legendary trailer.

We recap the way overdone Rey vs. Kane issue, which comes down to one thing: how would Rey know who did it? This took almost five minutes.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane brings the casket with him. Striker even throws out a quick summary of the Taker/Kane childhood which you NEVER hear anymore. Kane goes right for him and gets kicked in the knee. They talk about the keys to victory and King says that Rey’s potential innocence should help him win. Uh, what? Striker thinks this is speed vs. power. You can’t buy commentary like this people!

Kane takes over and we slow it down again. He gets a baseball slide which is cool looking. Can you imagine Kane playing baseball? That’s just funny for some reason. 619 is blocked and Kane takes his head off with a clothesline. We’re clearly just filling in time until the finish. It’s been mostly Kane here and as soon as I say that Kane goes into the post. Rey hits a flying battering ram move but Kane takes over AGAIN with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, a cool move.

Cole likes to talk about people being in the box. Kane wants the referee to ASK HIM. He’s been chilling with Jericho I guess. Top rope rana is blocked and Rey’s knee might be hurt. Wait wasn’t his ankle hurt on Smackdown? Springboard Splash misses so Rey just kicks Kane in the head. Well that works if nothing else. After more uneventful stuff, the 619 is blocked and Rey gets thrown into the casket.

The casket is closed and you know Taker will be in it soon. Chokeslam is blocked and 619 hits. Rey gets two off a counter to a counter to the springboard splash as the end is clearly near. Chokeslam hits to retain THANK GOODNESS!

Rating: C-. Better than the last match as at least this had an ending. It was still boring but Kane winning clean is a nice perk. You know it’ll wind up being Kane vs. Taker but Kane getting a clean win like this is good for him because he flat out needs them for some credibility. Not horrible but I’ve seen worse.

Post match Kane says he’s going to put Rey in the casket and opens it, showing that it’s empty. Two chokeslams and a tombstone (sick one too) and of course Taker is in the casket. He goes for Rey and asks if he’s heard of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? Taker asks him why he did it but Rey insists it wasn’t him. Hand around throat and the throat slit sign but he turns to Kane. Kane breaks Taker’s grip and tombstones him, leaving him laying. These guys are on and off more than all the high school relationships in history. Yep Kane is the heel again.

Ad for Smackdown on Sci-Fi.

Clips of Summerslam Axxess which looks awesome.

Recap of Nexus vs. Cena’s Army. If you don’t know this by now, go read the Raw recaps since I’m sick of this story.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Miz/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

Remember that this is elimination. This should go for a LONG time. New shirt for Cena. Miz comes out last and Cena has something to say. Cena has a replacement, and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. The really weird thing here is that there was an article up on WWE.com where it spoiled this half an hour before it happened. That’s very freaky and I can’t imagine the speech he got because of it.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

BIG brawl to start as Cole runs down Bryan every second because he has to. The official starters are Bryan and Young. This should be quick. Hey I’m right as Bryan gets a crossface and Young is out in like 30 seconds. That evens things out since Hart is more or less worthless. Gabriel and Jericho are in now and don’t expect every tag to be mentioned since it’s going to be very fast paced.

Tarver comes in and throws a lot of punches. Morrison gets a nice pop as the hometown boy. Flash Kick and Starship Pain put Tarver down to make it 7-5. He landed on his back this time so we’ll call that a success. Barrett wants a huddle. Sheffield comes in and boxes with Morrison kind of as Nexus takes over. The fans want Bret as it’s all Sheffield. Morrison makes a comeback but walks into a kick by Gabriel and the clothesline from Sheffield to make it 6-5.

Sheffield hits Truth in like 30 seconds to tie it up. Jericho comes in and gets beaten down. Why do they keep calling them Team WWE? Nexus is in WWE officially right? Jericho vs. Barrett is an interesting match actually. Bret and Slater come in as Cena hasn’t been in yet, which is rather interesting. Bret does basic stuff and gets the Sharpshooter but there’s a chair in. Sheffield gets the tag and Bret pops him with the chair for reasons of basic stupidity. That’s the best way to get rid of him since he can’t take a power move due to his health so there isn’t another way to do it really.

As a recap it’s Cena/Edge/Jericho/Bryan vs. Sheffield/Barrett/Slater/Otunga/Gabriel. Sheffield gets up and walks into the Codebreaker. Spear ties us up at 4. Gabriel gets a SICK spin kick on Edge. The kick itself was just ok but the impact looked great. Barrett and Edge slow us down a bit. Edge gets a spinwheel kick which is one of his old moves. I haven’t seen him use that in forever.

Otunga comes in and is booed out of the building. Edge hits the Edgecution and gets a face pop for it. Not sure whether it’s for Edge or against Otunga but whatever. Edge gets the tag but STILL no Cena. This is certainly compelling. Lionsault hits and Striker says HE HIT IT! Jericho loses the Walls for a bit but Otunga eventually taps to get us to 4-3 Team Cena. Jericho is wrestling like Lionheart here and a BIG Y2J chant starts. I still want a Jericho face title run.

And he runs into Cena, resulting in Slater hitting his Zig Zag for the tie. Cena and Edge both want in and Edge yells while Bryan plays peacemaker. Slater runs Edge into Cena and rolls him up to get Jericho and Edge in less than a minute. Edge and Jericho beat up Cena before leaving. Jericho: YOU’RE A STUPID MAN! Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Barrett/Gabriel. Cena is finally in now and gets his head kicked in.

Very good match so far as Nexus has looked STRONG. Cena can’t get anything going and Cole will not shut up about Bryan. Gabriel gets a DDT on Cena that looked good. Everyone beats on Cena and as I say that we get a double clothesline. Bryan comes in and cleans house, using a freaking big boot. Striker wants Cattle Mutilation. Where’s PETA when you need them?

Cena is down on the floor which makes me wonder where this is going. Cena as heel vs. Bryan as face? After a lot of GOOD stuff from Bryan he gets Slater to tap. And cue Miz with the briefcase to blast Bryan and make it 2-1 with Barrett/Gabriel vs. Cena. Cena is more or less dead though despite not being beaten down past anything overly special. He goes into the ending sequence though after a missed Gabriel splash in the corner.

FU doesn’t work as Gabriel makes the tag and Nexus takes over again. It’s a massive beatdown here as Cena has NOTHING. The two guys pull the mats on the floor back and Barrett hits a DDT on the exposed concrete. Gabriel gets tagged in and the 450 MISSES! Cena rolls up Gabriel and instantly gets the STFU on Barrett for the TAP AND THE WIN!

Rating: B+. This was very good. They booked it perfectly, including the ending. As I said in the LD, Cena moved, covered, did a drop toehold, laid on Barrett’s back and pulled. THAT’S IT. That’s how he beat them both. He wasn’t doing an FU to both guys after escaping their finishers and hitting 4 shoulder blocks each. He outmoved them and it worked fine. Nexus looked solid out there and the whole thing looked fine. This was a good match and well done. It certainly wasn’t bad and is nowhere near what people are making it out to be. I loved this and it made the show for the most part.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show, but it’s a kind that would need a footnote. This is the definition of a one match show. I don’t mean one match is great and the rest suck. I mean this was built around one single match and nothing else on the card mattered at all. Other than the 7 on 7 match, what else was hyped at all?

Luckily, that match was very good and hit on all cylinders. The rest of the card is ok, but it could have been better. The Orton/Sheamus ending was just bad. Kane overpowering Taker is interesting as it actually gives us some intrigue. This was a good show overall, powered mainly by the main event’s success. Not worth seeing much other than the main, but that’s expected with a show like this.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 13, 2006: The Balancing Act

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 13, 2006
Location: Ford Arena, Beaumont, Texas
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re still on the way to Wrestlemania and John Cena vs. HHH is starting to look good. Other than that you have Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels in the big soap opera feud, which is setting up Saturday Night’s Main Event later this week. I’m not sure what else we are going to be getting on the way there but it could be a good one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince and Shane McMahon to open things up, along with some security and what looks like a doctor. There is no way this can end well. They get inside and there is a black curtain waiting in the ring. Vince talks about how they both beat Shawn Michaels last week, but after the matches, Shawn was slurring his speech and could barely stand. Therefore, it is clear that SHAWN MICHAELS IS ON DRUGS!

Tonight, Shawn is going to take a public urination test. Shawn is ordered to come out here right now so here he comes in a hurry. Vince doesn’t like the pro-Shawn chants and wants to know why Shawn did what he did last week. Shane calls him a hypocrite and a disgusting junkie. Vince isn’t done and says that if Shawn tests positive, he forfeits both Saturday Night’s Main Event and Wrestlemania.

Shawn goes behind the curtain with the doctor as Vince cuts a PSA about not doing drugs. The doctor has the sample in the cup and Vince asks Shawn if he has anything to say. Shane thinks Shawn should just say no, but Shawn says it’s better to be p***** off than p***** on. Shawn throws the cup into the McMahon’s faces in a segment that would be copied almost verbatim in 2020. I know Vince loves this stuff but egads it can be grating to sit through.

Post break, Vince and Shane rapidly wash their faces and mouths, with Vince making Shawn vs. the Spirit Squad in a cage.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and Candice Michelle is at ringside. Victoria charges at her to start but gets Thesz pressed down for some right hands to the face. A kick to the head slows Trish down and the spinning side slam gives Victoria two. Victoria’s over the back choke has Trish in more trouble and she gets dumped outside. That doesn’t go anywhere and they’re back inside for a double clothesline. Trish is up with the handstand into the spinning headscissors but Candice breaks up Stratusfaction. The Widow’s Peak is loaded up but here’s Torrie Wilson for the save as Candice has the referee. The Chick Kick retains the title.

Rating: D+. Given that the Torrie vs. Candice feud is built on who looked better in Playboy, what are you expecting from a match with the two both getting involved? Trish vs. Victoria is one of the only good combinations they had for a long time but they did it so many times that it wasn’t exactly interesting again. Not the worst, but it was more about the people not in the match.

We get a movie trailer for Mick Foley, which is rated O for Overrated. It includes a bunch of clips of his Wrestlemania losses, plus some critics saying they can’t wait to see Foley lose to Edge.

Edge vs. Goldust

Cowboy Troy, the host of a country music competition show, joins commentary. Goldust starts with the hip attack as commentary completely ignores the match to plug the show and talk about country music. Edge hammers away but Goldust comes back with some right hands and the powerslam. Granted since the camera is on commentary, some of the impact is kind of lost. The right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble but a Lita distraction lets him hit the spear for the pin.

Rating: D. They really didn’t have another time to do the country music thing? This was just a way to get Edge on screen and run the trailers, but the focus was on the cowboy. Goldust wasn’t going to do anything here and I had forgotten he was even with the company at this point.

Post match Edge mocks Cowboy Troy and rolls his own trailer, promising to end Foley for good at Wrestlemania. Back in the arena, Edge says Foley will be his guest on a special hardcore edition of the Cutting Edge at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Big Time Wrestlemania Moment: Roddy Piper vs. Morton Downey Jr.

Trish interrupts Maria’s chest workout (with the Bowflex Extreme) to ask if she has seen Torrie. Maria hasn’t, but Trish finds Torrie out cold with a Playboy on her chest.

Verne Gagne is going into the Hall of Fame.

It’s time for the John Cena/HHH contract signing, with Coach running things. Both guys come out and HHH throws his feet on the table. Before signing, HHH talks about Cena FUing Big Show last week. That should kill a normal man, but not John Cena. At Wrestlemania, that doesn’t mean anything because the match is a formality. The title is coming back home, and HHH signs his side. Cena signs as well without saying anything. HHH: “And just like that, it is over.”

Usually this is the time where HHH hits someone with a sledgehammer, so Cena says bring it on. HHH doesn’t need an advantage this time though, because Cena is already at a disadvantage. Cena laughs it off and threatens to violate HHH if he tries to use the sledgehammer. They both get up but here are Big Show and Kane to interrupt. HHH has the sledgehammer attached to the table but here are Chris Masters and Carlito to jump the monsters. Vince pops up to say not so fast and makes a six man tag main event.

Shawn Michaels vs. Spirit Squad

In a cage with Texas Tornado rules. Ignore commentary saying that it’s Shawn vs. the entire Spirit Squad when only four of the five are in there. The team gets smart by climbing in from different sides of the cage and Shawn can only fight them off for so long. They toss him into the air for a big crash and then into the cage but a big Poetry In Motion misses. Kenny misses the top rope legdrop and Shawn starts slugging away, including the top rope elbow to Mikey. Sweet Chin Music hits but here’s Shane to slam the door on Shawn’s head and put Kenny on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Another angle disguised as a match and that’s fine. They’re doing a nice job of making you want to see Shawn beat the fire out of both Vince and Shane (more the former than the latter) and that’s how you set up a match like this. There isn’t much else that can be done and they have gone with this for months now. Give us a good payoff and it will be fine.

Post match Shane sends Shawn into the cage and asks for it to be raised. Shawn is busted open and Shane hits the Van Terminator.

Trish says Torrie has a concussion and is out of Saturday Night’s Main Event. Mickie James comes in to offer her services as a replacement. After the match, they can go their separate ways. Trish agrees and Mickie has a creepy smile.

Video on Steve Austin, featuring the old Oh H*** Yeah song.

Vince is pleased with Shane and announces that Jim Ross is coming back to call the match. Shane threatens to bloody JR if he doesn’t call the match right.

Smackdown Rebound.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Shelton is defending and Ric Flair is on commentary. There is no Mama Benjamin though because she is having heart surgery, all because of Flair causing her to get even worse. Feeling out process to start with Rob driving him into the corner and hitting a running clothesline. A dropkick puts Shelton on the floor but he comes back in and runs the corner to superplex Rob back down.

We take a break and come back with Rob caught in an armbar as Flair talks about where he wants to be partying in Chicago after winning Money in the Bank. Shelton misses a dropkick and Rob starts striking away, setting up a running splash for two. The stepover kick puts Shelton on the apron and the top rope kick to the face makes it worse. Shelton grabs the title so Flair takes it away, only to be knocked outside by Rob. A rollup with a grab of the ropes retains the title.

Rating: C. The commercial and ending took away from what they had here but it was a nice job of pushing Money in the Bank, which hasn’t had the biggest build so far. Then again it’s not exactly a concept that needs a lot of setup. Flair doesn’t really fit into the idea of a ladder match but the match is set up in a way that he can be used in the right way.

Saturday Night’s Main Event rundown.

Carlito/Chris Masters/HHH vs. Big Show/Kane/John Cena

Show shoves Carlito into the corner to start and it’s off to Kane for a clothesline. The side slam drops Carlito again but it’s a rake to the eyes, allowing the double tag to Cena and HHH. The fans seem to like this but HHH hands it back to Carlito before doing anything. Cena drops him in a hurry and glares at HHH, allowing Masters to get in a cheap shot from behind.

Carlito comes back in to stomp away for two, followed by a lifting Downward Spiral for the same. Cena avoids a charge in the corner though and brings in Big Show to clean house. Everything breaks down and HHH is left alone with the monsters. The double chokeslam is loaded up but Carlito and Masters come in with chairs for the DQ.

Rating: C. Run of the mill main event tag match here and they’re doing a good job of making me want to see Cena vs. HHH. Cena wanting to fight and HHH hiding until Wrestlemania makes sense and that’s a nice way to set things up. Carlito/Masters vs. Big Show/Kane isn’t exactly the same thing but when have the Tag Team Titles been?

Post match the tag teams leave and Cena tells HHH to bring it. HHH teases getting in but Randy Orton runs in for the RKO to Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird one as they are less than three weeks away from Wrestlemania but at the same time they are building towards Saturday Night’s Main Event. They managed to make it work this time though and that’s a nice thing to see, even if the wrestling wasn’t great. Cena vs. HHH is going far better than I remember and it feels like a major match. Just get down to Wrestlemania though and things will feel a lot better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2008 (2013 Redo): When Cena vs. Batista Isn’t Enough

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

For the first time in a few years, it feels like we’ve got a big card tonight. It’s a double main event with Undertaker vs. Edge inside the Cell and Cena vs. Batista for the first time ever. I remember being very fired up for this show when it first aired so hopefully it lives up to the hype after some very lackluster entries the last few years. Let’s get to it.

The theme this year is that this is the ultimate summer blockbuster. I’ve heard worse. This shifts into your standard opening video.

It’s another good song here with Ready to Roll by Jet Black Stare.

We run down the card because you might have ordered the show blind or something?

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is in the middle of the biggest story of his life, as he’s been chasing the world title all year. This resulted in one of the highest number of buys ever for the Rumble, yet he’s opening the show here in a midcard match. Makes sense in WWE world I guess. There isn’t much of a story here other than MVP has been messing with Jeff lately. Hardy starts with two right hands to send MVP to the floor and there’s a whip into the barricade. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two for Jeff and we hit the armbar.

MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.

Jeff is put in the Tree of Woe so MVP picks him up and slams the top of his head into the mat. That’s a new one. MVP loads up something like a Gory Bomb but Jeff slips down the back and neckbreakers his way to freedom. The slingshot dropkick in the corner is countered by two feet to Hardy’s chest but Jeff avoids the Drive By kick in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Jeff and the Whisper in the Wind puts MVP down again. Cue US Champion Shelton Benjamin to distract Hardy from the Swanton, allowing MVP to move. The Drive By kick is good for the pin on Jeff.

Rating: B-. Summerslam almost always has good openers and this is a good example. I never got into MVP like a lot of people did but this was a solid performance from him. Shelton had been involved with this feud as an accessory on Smackdown but it’s not exactly enough of a connection for the run-in here to work. Good match though.

Glamarella (Santino and Beth) is ready for their mixed tag winner take all match with Kofi and Mickie. Santino talks about the unibrow and how the tabloids love the new name for the two of them. Maria, Santino’s ex, is doing the interview so we get a stare down between the girls.

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Glamarella vs. Mickie James/Kofi Kingston

Mickie and Kofi have both belts coming in but the winning team walks out with all the gold. Kofi is still relatively new here and has only won the IC Title once, as opposed to his 89 or so reigns now. The girls get things going with Beth easily overpowering James. Mickie comes back with some quick dropkicks for two before it’s off to Santino. James easily monkey flips him over before it’s off to Kofi for some of his usual stuff. The jumping punches in the corner have Santino on the floor where Beth yells at him.

Kingston loads up a charge but hangs on, only to send Santino jumping into Beth’s arms. Kofi pulls him back in but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for one. Beth beats on Kofi for a bit before bringing Santino back in for his basic offense. A suplex sets up a chinlock but Kofi fights up and butts heads with Santino, allowing for the double tags to the girls. Mickie cleans house and clotheslines Beth down before snapping off her hurricanrana on Beth. Kofi comes in and misses a charge like an idiot but the MickieDT puts Santino down. Beth decks Mickie and hits the Glam Slam for both titles.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special and could have been on any given Raw. I don’t know of a better way they could have gotten the title on Santino though so you can’t fault the for trying. Kofi would begin his long float in the midcard which would last for the next several years other than a cup of coffee in the upper midcard. The girls looked good here but that’s about it.

Santino gets on Beth’s shoulders to celebrate.

Video on Shawn Michaels’ eye injury. He may not be able to continue wrestling due to the eye and for the first time he’s listening to his doctors. If they tell him it’s too bad, he’s walking away.

Here’s Shawn with his wife for the announcement. Shawn talks about how his doctors have re-evaluated his eye and it looks like he’s going to have to walk away. He remembers his first Summerslam and since then the fans have let him become the Heart Break Kid and Mr. Wrestlemania. He’s also the guy who screwed Bret Hart (wasn’t that Hebner?), the man who formed DX, the man who lost his smile and the man who retired Ric Flair. Now though he can be a full time husband and a full time father…..and here’s Jericho, the man who injured Shawn’s eye.

Jericho, currently an awesome heel rocking a suit, says that he’s not accepting this. Shawn isn’t leaving due to an eye injury on his own terms. He wants Shawn to admit that he’s walking away because of what Jericho did to him and nothing else. Shawn gets serious and says to get out of the ring but Jericho wants to hear that Shawn is leaving because of him. Shawn needs to admit it to his wife, his children, himself and to Jericho. All of Shawn’s accomplishments don’t matter because the epitaph of his career will be that he was forced to walk away because of Chris Jericho.

Shawn says he’ll admit it and tell his wife and kids what Jericho wants to hear on one condition: if Jericho goes home to his wife and kids and tells them that he never could be Shawn Michaels. BURN! Shawn goes to walk away but Jericho swings, only to hit Shawn’s wife, knocking her out cold. What a man that Shawn is, ducking when his wife was behind him. You know it’s on at Unforgiven now and the fans are eating this stuff up. This was the feud of the year in 2008 and there’s no arguing that.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Matt earned the title by doing something not important enough to explain to us. These two teamed up on ECW with Mark attacking his partner, injuring his ribs. Mark hits a quick forearm to the back but misses a charge, allowing Matt to hit the Twist of Fate, drawing in Henry’s manager Tony Atlas for the DQ 30 seconds in.

Jeff Hardy comes out to make the save and the Hardys suplex Henry.

We recap CM Punk vs. JBL. Punk cashed in the MITB case a few weeks ago on Raw to bring the World Heavyweight Championship to Raw. JBL bullied Punk and called him a footnote in wrestling. It’s a basic story but sometimes that’s the best idea, which is the case here.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk was basically a glorified midcarder at this point but his time would come. JBL shoves Punk into the corner to start and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Punk comes back with a flying forearm to send him to the outside and a suicide dive fires the fans up even more. Back in and a high cross body gets a one count for Punk but another shoulder block puts him down. Punk tries to go up, only to be taken down by a middle rope fall away slam for two.

JBL goes after the back and we hit the bearhug. This is a basic big guy vs. little guy formula so far but again there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Punk fights out of it as the fans are rather rowdy. We stay on the back as JBL continues his basic power offense. Back to a side grip on Punk’s ribs on the mat before we go old school with an abdominal stretch. Punk fights out and hits the knee in the corner/bulldog combo but the ribs give out on the GTS attempt. JBL takes him back down and drops some elbows for two.

The clothesline misses and Punk starts firing off his strikes, hitting a high kick to the head for two. A springboard clothesline is countered into a powerslam for two and JBL yells at the referee a lot. Another clothesline attempt from JBL is countered with a leg lariat to put both guys down. They hit heads as JBL fell and Punk is busted open from the back of his head. Layfield blocks another knee/bulldog combo by putting Punk on the buckle for a belly to back superplex. There much be something really wrong because Punk pops up and hits a quick GTS to retain. Oh yeah there’s a BIG blood spot from where Punk was laying on the mat.

Rating: C+. This needed a few more minutes but with a legit cut that bad you have to go home in a hurry. Obviously Punk was going to win the entire time so it’s not like the ending was changed that badly. What we did get was good stuff with a basic story that is going to work time after time and did so here.

We recap HHH vs. Great Khali. Again not much to say here: HHH won the Smackdown Title and dominated for a few months until Khali was one of the few challengers he had left. Again it’s your basic hero vs. monster but the question coming in is can HHH Pedigree Khali. He tries for weeks leading up but never could pull it off.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The Game is defending. HHH is a very tall man in his own right and is probably a foot shorter than Khali. The champion pounds away but has to stick and move to not get killed. That doesn’t blow HHH’s skirt up though so he tries the Pedigree. Khali easily grabs HHH and hits his Punjabi Plunge (two handed chokeslam finisher) but doesn’t cover. Instead he loads up his Vice (head squeeze) but HHH kicks at the long legs to escape. A chop block puts Khali down and out to the floor where his manager Runjin Singh tries to calm him down.

HHH, ever the bright guy, charges at Khali again and is chopped down with ease. Back inside and Khali pounds away with some elbows in the corner to drop the champion. The fans tell Khali that he can’t wrestle as he puts one foot on HHH for a cover. Off to a nerve hold by the challenger followed by a slam and legdrop. Back to the nerve hold for a bit before HHH fights up and hits the facebuster. It doesn’t put Khali on the mat but it does tie him up in the ropes.

Khali will have none of this being in trouble though as he lifts up his boot to kick HHH down before freeing himself from the ropes. Back up and HHH tries the Pedigree again, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A hard chop puts HHH down again and as they come back in there’s the vice grip again. HHH almost breaks the hold but Khali gets it back on for a few more seconds. A charge misses the champion in the corner and he FINALLY hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. Cena accidentally punched Batista in a tag match on Raw, triggering a brawl between the two. It became exactly what it should have been: a showdown between the two guys who had carried the company for the last three years. This was one of the few dream matches they had built up for years and belonged as a PPV main event. Cena said he had been wanting this match for six years because he just didn’t know if he could beat Batista.

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista shoves Cena back to start before grabbing a headlock. Cena comes back with a quick slam and Batista stops to take a breather. A big clothesline puts Cena down and a Jackhammer gets two. Cena comes right back with a suplex of his own for two but Batista puts him down with a side slam. A quick FU attempt is countered and Batista goes after the leg. Off to a Figure Four on Cena (just like Flair, he puts it on the wrong leg) who can’t power out so we get a rope grab instead for the break.

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

Batista gets up and escapes another FU to hook a rear naked choke of all things. Cena fights out of a hold as well, only to get caught by a spear for a VERY close two. They’re in full on main event mode here and it’s getting very awesome. Cena counters a powerslam into an FU but can’t follow up due to exhaustion. It’s finally good for two so Cena goes up with nowhere else to go.

Batista is up as well and they slug it out on top with Batista being knocked to the mat. Cena tries the Fameasser but gets caught in a Batista Bomb…..for two, plus a neck injury that required three months off (I seem to remember that happening earlier but WWE said it was here). Not that it matters as Batista goes into Animal Mode and ENDS Cena with a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: A-. This is exactly what it was supposed to be: the two top guys in the company going to war with only one left standing. It’s a great fight in the vein of Rock vs. Austin from back in the day. Almost no complaints here and it felt like a major match on a major stage. What else can you ask for here?

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. They fought for the world title at Wrestlemania with Taker winning the title (duh) before Edge’s wife Vickie Guerrero stripped him of the title for using the Hell’s Gate, which was declared illegal. Edge won the title in a TLC match and Taker left for a bit, but Edge got caught cheating with his wedding planner (Alicia Fox). Vickie reinstated Taker and set up the Cell match here tonight. Edge got Mick Foley to try to find out how to beat Undertaker in the Cell (even though Foley lost) and was told to bring back the Rated R Superstar inside of him. Edge beat up Foley and was back.

Edge vs. Undertaker

It takes two minutes and forty five seconds from Taker’s gong to him slamming the Cell door closed. Edge fires off right hands in the corner but walks into a big boot. We head outside the ring so Edge can be rammed into the steel. A series of headbutts puts Edge down and Taker whips him hard into the steps. Vickie and company (La Familia) is watching in the back.

Back inside now but with steps involved as well. The Snake Eyes drop Edge on the steps but he blocks the big boot and sends Taker into the steps instead. Edge hits a spear to a seated dead man but doesn’t go for a cover. Instead he grabs a table but stops to knock Taker out with the steps to the head. Edge gets another table but doesn’t slide either of them into the ring. The table is set up on the floor instead but Edge has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt instead of sending Taker through it.

Now it’s chair time with Edge dropping Taker again. Here’s a third table but the first one actually brought into the ring. Edge pulls out a ladder as TLCHIAC continues. Another chair shot puts Taker down as we have a ladder, a table and steps in the ring. Three of the four things are used as Edge puts Taker on the table and picks up the chair before climbing the ladder. He drives the dead man through the table in the same spot he used on Foley a few weeks ago. Nice touch.

It’s only good for two though so it’s time for a Conchairto, only to have Taker grab Edge by the throat. Edge breaks free but gets caught in a big right hand to put him back down. A bit boot sends Edge into the cage and Taker crushes his head with the steps for good measure. Edge posts Taker to get a breather and uses the steps as a launching pad to knock Taker through the Cell. Taker’s arm is bleeding a bit.

They fight at the announce table before Edge is sent into the barricade to put him down again. Taker misses a monitor shot to the head, allowing Edge to crack him in the head with it instead. In the big spot of the match, Edge runs the announce tables for a big spear to Undertaker, putting both guys down. Edge can’t follow up so Taker wins a slug out and they head back inside, drawing some moderate booing. Back in and a ladder to the face gives Edge control again and a chair shot gets two.

Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.

Taker loads up a tombstone off the steps but Edge counters into an Edge-O-Matic onto the steps for two. Now Edge loads up Old School but Taker crotches him down and chokeslams him through the tables on the floor. Back in and Undertaker spears Edge down and breaks a camera over his head. A Conchairto crushes Edge’s skull and the tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.

Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.

Overall Rating: A-. This was pretty awesome all around. The opener was good, one match didn’t count, the title matches were both decent to good and the main events both rocked. You could say the tag match wasn’t very good but it’s less than six minutes long and Santino makes it entertaining enough. This is one of the better shows they’ve had in the series and it’s well worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Glamarella

Original: D

Redo: D+

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Great Khali vs. HHH

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Batista vs. John Cena

Original: A

Redo: A-

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Yep, it’s still great.

Here’s the original idea if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/11/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2008-punk-as-champion-thatll-never-happen-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2008 (Original): HHH’s Mane Squeeze

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

Another year and here we are at the final Summerslam before this year’s installment. The main guys are still the main guys, except CM Punk is now the World Heavyweight Champion. The belts have switched again by the way. The real main event here is Batista vs. Cena but the match going on last is Taker vs. Edge in the Cell to finally blow off this feud.

They tried to make this show more of a dream card and I think to an extent it worked. HHH vs. Great Khali is the other title match and it’s gotten a lot of criticism, but I’ve always liked it. Since it’s been such a short time since this show, there’s only so much I can rant on here, but let’s get to it.

The theme of this show is the biggest blockbuster of the summer. This led to some creative ideas of various wrestlers in movie roles, with the best one being Jericho as Indiana Jones. The voiceover guy says there’s never been a box office bust. He never saw Summerslam 1995 did he? They play up Taker and Edge as the main event which is fine as it’s likely the bigger match. I’ll get to that later as it deserves a real tribute for one of the promos that was done about it.

Jeff Hardy vs. MVP

Jeff would be launched into the world title scene shortly after this, eventually getting the title in December. Needless to say, he’s ridiculously over. Ross says that Hardy gets a Michael Phelps like reaction. That’s just funny knowing what we know now about Phelps. MVP is still full heel here as he should be every time he’s in the ring. The set looks cool too as it looks like a movie marquee with the match that’s going on at the moment on it. I like that.

MVP is dominating this. Hardy has had next to no offense the entire match as it’s been all MVP since he hit a belly to belly suplex very early on which messed up Jeff’s neck and back. Since then, that’s all MVP has worked on. What a great concept. Someone hurts something and you go after it. Who would have thought of something like that?

There’s so much back and neck work here that it’s like I’m watching an Angle match. Hardy gets to the apron and tries a springboard move but MVP just punches him in the face. I freaking LOVE that. When all else fails, just hit him in the face.

MVP gets him down in the corner and sets up for the Drive By, but apparently his slapping the mat, posing and yelling allows Jeff to hear him coming and he avoids it. Jeff makes his comeback but as he’s going for the Bomb, Shelton runs out and Jeff dives on him. He misses the Swanton this time and MVP kicks him in the head for the pin. I don’t remember Jeff and Shelton doing anything.

Rating: B. This was a good match. The psychology was right there and MVP got the win which he needed far more than Hardy. Hardy just got beaten up in this match and he got beaten up badly, so that’s a perk. Either way, this was a good match with both guys looking solid. Why they never pulled the trigger on MVP I’m not sure.

Maria is an interviewer tonight I guess and is with Santino and Beth. This was when Santino was I guess at his peak and so of course the company decided to shove him down our throats. Beth looks ungodly hot here.

We have a poll about will Edge and Vickie divorce? Yes they would about 6 months later.

IC/Women’s Title: Mickie/Kofi vs. Beth/Santino

There’s a very simple concept here as Adamle was out of room on the card for both matches so he put them together and the winners leave with both titles. I love Kofi as the IC Champion. He was young, good, popular and in need of the push. What more can you ask for from the IC Champion? Mickie needs to wear white more often. The men can fight the women here. Beth beats up Mickie but she beats up Santino as spellcheck hates this match.

Kofi beats up the Italian so this is getting better all the time. Kofi is one of the few guys that can pull off the all yellow look. This is a lot of stalling until Kofi can kick it into high gear. Santino is pure comedy here, or at least an attempt at it. Mickie beats him up even more, but Beth catches Mickie with the Implant Buster or whatever it’s called to win it. Cole calls Beth he I think by mistake. Beth carries Santino out on her shoulders.

Rating: D. Not only was it boring but the booking was stupid. Oh yeah let’s take the belt off of a great choice in Kofi for the sake of comedy! Yeah the belt will be just fine. This was the beginning of the killing of the IC belt that it took Rey to save. I hated this, but Kofi and Mickie’s figure brings us back to a passing grade.

Buy the Hardy Boys DVD.

We hear about Shawn’s eye injury from the Great American Bash. More or less, he’s going to announce if he’s retiring or not here tonight. Jericho wants him gone. He was wrestling at house shows in between the PPVs, so obviously he wasn’t’ that hurt. Shawn comes out with his very hot wife named ReBECCA for this big announcement. She’s taller than he is. That’s just funny. This is going to be a long segment.

Shawn surprisingly says that he’s going to retire. Shawn thanks the fans and goes through all of his career highlights, including the screwjob and beginning DX. Geez his hair is falling out fast. As he’s thanking everyone, Jericho’s music kicks on. You know for someone that’s gotten rid of everything old, he’s sticking to that music like processed horse. Jericho says that he wants Shawn to admit that he’s quitting because of Jericho and not the eye injury.

Shawn says he’ll sit his kids and his wife down and admit that but Jericho has to sit his wife and kids down and tell them that he’ll never be Shawn Michaels. The crowd pops like crazy over that as this is one of the best segments I’ve ever seen. To up this even further, Shawn turns to leave but Jericho throws a punch that hits Shawn’s wife. Jericho leaves as Shawn is panicking. Everyone runs out to help her as Jericho leaves. The fans are eating this up with a spoon.

She sold it perfectly too so that’s helping a lot. This would lead to Shawn nearly killing Jericho at Unforgiven where Jericho would actually win the title, leading to the ladder match at No Mercy to finally end this feud.

Some movie is sponsoring this show.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Henry is champion here. He came over to ECW and just tore the place up, leading to this match. This is what I guess you could call the Michael Hayes Special. It was around this time that Hayes had used some racial slurs in the back and Henry complained about it. Soon therafter, Kofi won the IC Title, Shelton got the US Title and Henry the ECW Title. You might call it a coincidence, but it’s a bit too much for me to believe.

Henry even got the new belt because it didn’t fit around his overly large gut. He also has Tony Atlas with him here for no apparent reason. I think it was because Henry is horrible as a talker. We get the big fight introductions which never cease being cool. Bell rings and we’re off. Striker tells us who is who and what colors they’re wearing since we couldn’t tell that ourselves. Matt pops him with some punches but Henry just powers him to the corner.

Wait, Matt hits the Twist and goes for the cover? What the heck? Atlas pulls him out…and it’s a DQ in 30 seconds. Um, WHAT THE HECK? I know the Shawn segment was long but DUDE, you couldn’t fit in a three minute match before we do this? Oh that’s right. We had to have Santino celebrate instead.

Atlas beats on Matt but Jeff runs out and helps fight the two muscle guys off. Striker says the Hardys might be the best tag team in the last twenty years. Yeah, I’m not going near that one as it’s too easy to make fun of.

Rating: N/A. Really, what was the point of this? Matt would get the title the next month.

Ad for the Summerslam Anthology.

Same poll question is asked.

We get a recap of JBL vs. Punk. Punk won the title back in June in an epic moment, stealing the belt from Edge with the MITB contract. The problem was Punk was treated badly as champion, just as he was in his second reign. Think about it. This past reign he lost clean to Morrison twice. In the first reign, Batista won or barely lost at least once. Why can they not just give him a clean win? Maybe they will here, but over a weak opponent.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. CM Punk

Punk’s line of “some people like to refer to me as a fluke. I like to refer to myself as world heavyweight champion.” is just great. Punk gets a solid reaction during the intros. It’s not huge but it’s good. They talk about how this is a culture clash and they’re exactly right. I really like that actually as it’s definitely old school vs. new school as they say it is. For once they’re absolutely right. I love that suicide dive that Punk throws out a lot of the time.

They actually call JBL Bradshaw which I haven’t heard him referred to in forever. JBL tries a bearhug but it turns into a reverse waistlock. JBL is pretty bad at this point as his injuries were just getting to be too much for him. The main thing here is Punk’s ribs being worked on, which while a bit generic is something that works just about every time. Bradshaw’s style works well there so it’s not like he is doing something out of the ordinary.

A few submissions follow but surprisingly enough Punk wins a slug out. He hits a leg lariat but in an unplanned spot, JBL’s head slams into Punk’s which busts him open without cutting him. That was just painful looking. They hammer on each other a bit more, but Punk avoids a big power move to hit the GTS for a clean pin. I know that was short, but it wasn’t designed to be an epic match.

It was about 11 minutes and it made Punk look good as it was supposed to. He needed a clean win with the GTS to make himself look at least respectable. Lawler and Cole don’t do him any favors as they still talk about how he’s a fluke champion and a Cinderella story. Why do they need to do that? We get it, but the point of that match was to build him up a bit harder. Why mention what they were trying to overcome here?

Rating: B-. It was pretty generic at times, but it was certainly solid. JBL was doing what he was best at: slow methodical offense that made Punk look good when he came back from it. This was what Punk needed to make his reign a lot more credible: a clean pinfall victory over a big name. He would lose the title without being in the match next month due to the Scramble while JBL would move on to HBK after he got done with Jericho.

Khali is warming up in the back. That leads us to this recap. There wasn’t much of a story here other than Khali wanting a shot. The basic idea of this feud is simple: HHH can’t get the Pedigree on Khali.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The fans pop huge for HHH. Khali’s size is flat out scary. I’ve seen him at house shows and he’s just absolutely massive. We get a cool stat that the WWE Title has been defended 17 times out of 20 Summerslams but it’s only changed 3 times. That’s very impressive actually. One more time we get the big match introductions. Khali is booed pretty loudly. HHH is only 255 here so he’s slimmed down a bit. HHH is the faster guy here which isn’t something you see that often.

He goes for the Pedigree within 30 seconds which doesn’t hit. Less than a minute in Khali hits the double handed chokeslam and the vice. HHH becomes the first guy to escape that hold but it’s not him hogging the spotlight. He’s smart enough to kick the knees out, which plays to his being the Cerebral Assassin. That makes sense, so shut up HHH haters. Ok, we’ve been in this two minutes and Khali has used his three signature moves. That makes sense. MASSIVE you can’t wrestle chant.

Khali busts out a leg drop, so obviously he can wrestle, since that guy was an in ring general. The crowd isn’t convinced though as the chant starts again. It might be the neck grip that he’s using that doesn’t really cause a lot of pain I wouldn’t think. HHH gets the facebuster to lock Khali in the ropes.

Nothing comes of it though as he’s out very fast. Pedigree try #2 doesn’t work either. HHH is smart again as he goes for the knees. That’s the best thing to do against a guy this massive. He uses the vice again as this is very back and forth. The Game forces the hands off but they’re right back on again, and it’s knee time. The third time on the Pedigree works and HHH wins.

Rating: B+. Now a lot of people are going to say this match sucks, but I disagree. This is probably Khali’s best match ever, and I think a lot of the credit for that should go to HHH. The idea here was that HHH just had to survive until he could hit his one big home run move.

Once he got that the match was going to be over and that’s exactly what happened. That makes perfect sense. The whole match was about him trying to hit the Pedigree and when he did it won the match. What more can you ask for out of something like this? There’s only so much you can do with Khali, so they did the best they could, and it worked out very well to me.

We get the recap of Cena vs. Batista, which the more I think about it, the more I like the short buildup. This match was based on two titans clashing and that’s all there needed to be. Cena’s One Day promo is something I really like.

More or less what he says is that despite all the years of him being the supposed biggest thing in the company, Batista got all the accolades and that one day, they would have their showdown. When you hear Cena talk, you have to give him this: he admits he has faults, unlike someone like Hogan who just screams about how great he is. It’s nice to hear both sides of it for a change.

John Cena vs. Batista

Big staredown before the bell and it’s on. This definitely has the big fight atmosphere and it’s working perfectly. You may no like either guy but you can’t argue that this is the biggest match the company had for a long time. Seeing this as one of the main events at Wrestlemania is still just awesome looking. Batista Bomb is avoided early as it’s kind of a long feeling out process to start.

Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for Cena as I have a feeling a strong style is coming. Side slam by Batista gets two. FU is blocked and Big Dave goes for the knee. Batista gets a figure four as the fans all go WOO as you would think two people just kissed on a sitcom. After a rope is grabbed Cena hits the FU on Batista but it’s over the top rope so we kind of hit a break.

Here come the shoulders and the Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Since it’s a freaking punch though Big Dave pops up and kicks Cena’s head off so that both guys are down. Big spinebuster by Batista but the Batista Bomb is countered into the STFU that has ZERO pressure on the neck or upper body at first. The fans boo the heck out of this.

The positioning of the knee in this hold is always freaky looking to me and looks horrendous every time. A rope is almost grabbed but Cena pulls them back to the center. He’s been in it nearly a full minute now but FINALLY the rope is grabbed. FU is blocked again into a rear naked choke of all things by the Animal. The good thing here is you get a closeup of the arm and it’s not fully on so there is a legit reason for Cena not dying.

After elbows get Cena out of the hold a BIG OLD SPEAR puts him down. Sometimes there’s nothing better than a big old tackle. Batista goes for a powerslam but Cena counters like people counter Tombstones into a BIG FU for a long two. Fans are WAY into this too.

Cena goes up top but Batista goes up too and we slug it out on the buckle. Nice place for the boo/yay spot. Cena shoves him off but goes for the leg drop into the powerbomb which more or less snapped his neck after it was already hurt and put him out for three months until the biggest shock in like ever as he was #30 in the Rumble. Somehow it gets two so Batista hits one of the biggest Batista Bombs ever ends this clean.

Rating: A. This was the super match that everyone wanted to see and it was a great one. Both guys were spot on to say the least. Batista gets an unfair reputation as being bad, but when it’s a big match, he brings it. The ending of this match was excellent, with neither guy being able to do it. I don’t like the strong style like that being used that often, but when it’s done right, it’s a thing of beauty.

The ending with Batista just losing it and beating Cena down until there was no way he was getting up was great as it plays up to the Animal theory. This was a showdown that lived up to the hype and left the door open for the Mania rematch that we know is coming one day. This loss does something else: it keeps Cena human.

He’s dominated everyone, but there’s one man that he just can’t beat: Batista. It gives him something to shoot for. He lost the Rumble to him in 2005 and he lost here as well. That’s a great touch indeed.

The poll results say that Vickie and Edge will divorce.

The Cell is lowered and the fans pop huge. This is the newer model of the cell which is less wide but taller, making it look more like a cell than a cage. We get the recap for the feud. It started with Taker going after the title and beating Edge at Mania. Edge cheated on his wife later on, resulting in her punishing him with the Cell match upon Taker’s return from suspension.

The title aspect of the feud was long over by this point, so this was a bit weird for a choice. Before the show though, Edge and Foley cut an in ring promo where Foley said that Edge wasn’t the same guy he used to be and that Edge would get killed if he didn’t change. It was probably the best promo of the year and was absolutely great to say the least.

Hell in a Cell: Undertaker vs. Edge

Both guys are well received, but of course Taker gets the mega pop as he’s beyond legendary status at this point. We start with a fistfight and of course Taker dominates. He hits a SWEET kick to the face to get a real advantage. Taker always gets insane out there and it’s great every time. His most famous moment has to be throwing Foley, so if nothing else consider that for his stuff in here.

They’re already on the floor and have spent more time there than they did in the ring. Stairs are brought into the ring so we’re going hardcore already. Taker hits Snake Eyes onto the stairs but Edge blocks it I guess as he really isn’t hurt by it. Spear is hit into the steps, (granted Taker is sitting up against them so it’s more like a running shoulder block) so they’re saying screw the thought process I guess.

Oh look it’s a table, so I guess this is the hardcore cell now? Another table is leaned against the cage. We have a double stack of tables on the floor. I’m curious to see how that’s going to work as there’s far less room between the cage and the ring than there used to be. Edge gets a chair so we’re up to three different weapons in less than ten minutes. At least they’re staying true to the original concept. I hate changes to a match like this.

You can hear the fans chanting Edge so even back then he had a lot of fans. It’ll be good for him to come back as a face. He’s a great heel, but it’s not going to kill him to change a bit. Sick chair shot to Taker as Edge is completely in control here, which I think I expected him to be. This isn’t your standard HIAC match yet though as it’s been more of a hardcore match in a cage, which I don’t think I like that much. And now we have a ladder.

They had a TLC match already, so I guess they need one in a cage too? We get a ton of weapons shots but it ends with Edge trying a conchairto that Taker just sits up and chokes him to escape and take back over. Back on the outside, Taker just kills Edge with the steps. The sound on this was just great. Edge of course is back on offense in about 8 seconds and he spears Taker through a section of the Cell which crashes down onto the table.

It wasn’t as cool as when Lashley did it to Umaga, but it certainly wasn’t bad. Now they’re on the floor in front of the cage. You know, I don’t remember if there’s ever been a Cell match that stayed in the cage. It’s almost a running joke. Again, there’s only so much I can make fun of here as it’s been an intense, well fought match. Edge runs across some tables and spears him through the ECW table which has replaced the Spanish Announcer Table as the destroyed furniture of choice.

Taker pops up of course and is now dominating. The no selling is getting to be very annoying now. They’re back in the cell now with Edge beating on him with the ladder as the Home Depot main event continues. We see Vickie and the remnants of La Familia, the worst stable in recent history, looking on. The commentators try to figure out if they’re happy or not. Well they’re not clapping their hands, so if they’re happy they don’t know it. Edge brings in a camera so maybe it’s a Staples match.

Taker avoids the spear and chokeslams Edge for a long two. Jim Ross must be the Chris Berman of wrestling with all of these annoying nicknames for people. Also, why does he have to keep referring to the cell like it has thoughts of its own? Is this a wrestling match or a Stephen King story? Edgecution which is called the Impaler, which needs to come back. It’s such a better move than the spear which a lot of people use and he’s not that good at it either.

Taker sets for the Last Ride through the double stack of tables on the outside but takes a spear instead. They say that Taker has had more issues dealing with Edge than anyone else. I think Kane and Foley would disagree. Also the fact that he never beat Bret Hart could be a factor in there. Last Ride gets two. Ross gets the great line of Last Ride means Last Rites. If you thought I was being legit there, you need help.

Edge is pretty much dead at this point but he comes back long enough to hit an Edge-a-Matic on the stairs to make ANOTHER comeback out of the Tombstone. Ross points out that Taker isn’t standing. That’s another line that I don’t even need to make fun of. Edge tries Old School. Now, let’s count how many ways this is going to not work. Well, Taker chokeslamming him through the two tables outside would be the best way I guess, and that’s what he does.

Tazz says that Edge looks like he fell off of a building. Actually I’d say he looks like he got chokeslammed off of the top rope through two tables inside a Hell in a Cell cage by the Undertaker at Summerslam 2008, but keep in mind I’m not a professional. How many buildings do you know of that have tables stacked up on the ground outside of them? Back in the ring, Edge gets speared as Taker shows how you steal a move.

It was B+A while in special mode on No Mercy for those of you interested. He follows this up with a SICK camera shot to Edge’s head. Dang this is more of a slaughter than he should have gotten in the WZ Tournament this year. Conchairto is next, as Edge never should be able to wrestle again. The tombstones finishes this absolute massacre. La Familia is applauding. Taker walks up the aisle but turns around and comes back.

Ok, I’m not huge on Edge, but dang it let the man live. He gets the ladder which isn’t much taller than Taker is actually. He stands Edge up on it so it’s like he was climbing and fell asleep. Taker gets another ladder next to it as I’m not sure what he’s setting for. He chokeslams Edge through the ring to FINALLY end the show.

OR DOES HE???

Taker gets on his knees and raises his arms, as fire stars shooting out of the hole. JR says where Taker sent Edge. Oh man it why did they have to go there? Yeah, that hurt things a LOT.

Rating: A-. I’m not wild on the weapons in there. The idea of the Cell is to have it be enough to hurt people. More or less you had a TLC match in the cage, which both worked and didn’t work at the same time. On one hand, you had an incredibly violent match with a definitive winner of the feud in Taker, but you also had a lot of clutter in there.

I think the weapons could work but they just used FAR too many of them. The fire at the end was just stupid. So wait, Edge is there now? If so, then why was he back on TV a few months later completely fine? See why it makes NO FREAKING SENSE???

Overall Rating: A-. A very solid show here, as there’s just one bad match and one headscratcher in the double title match. Other than that, this is a very good show. Your two non title matches are both great, the world title matches are solid, and you have a solid segment.

The only thing I think that’s missing would be the match with Hardy and Henry. Why not have like 3 minutes worth instead of 30 seconds? Were they running so close to the time limit that they couldn’t spare two minutes or so? Either way, this was a great show and one of the better ones I’ve seen.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6