IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler,

The main changes are Batista and Cena. They’ve more or less taken over the company as the biggest things in the world. Except for Batista because he’s out with an injury. Edge is the current reigning world champion though as he had more or less stolen the title at New Year’s Revolution. He’s got his rematch with Cena tonight. On the other side, Mark Henry is main eventing the show. I give up.

The other main issue is of course the death of Eddie Guerrero, which there’s been more than enough written about already. Other than that, there’s just not a lot going on here. This more or less is the first Rumble of what would be classified as the modern era, so let’s get to it.

The intro is just a recap of the major feuds. For some reason, Angle vs. Henry gets the most hype. Naturally they push Raw vs. Smackdown again. Edge is the Rated R Champion now. Lita’s stomach is the thing that dreams are made of. I’ve always wanted to say that. For reasons that no one will ever comprehend, the theme is Roman or something, which meant nothing and no one wanted to see. Stephanie in Roman clothing was nice though.

Cruiserweight Championship: Cruiserweight Open

This is the standard thing they were doing back in the day as they had completely given up on having any kind of storylines or flow to the division, so they just said screw it and threw everyone into one massive match where everyone is legal at once. In this, you have to be either the current Champion or a former champion. The participants are Kid Kash who is the champion, Paul London, Nunzio, Funaki, Gregory Helms and Jamie Noble.

London is wearing a gold mask for some reason that was never really explained. Helms is a surprise here. Oh geez there’s a Roman theme again where they have guys opening the door where people from out of the back from. It’s kind of like KOTR 96 for those of you that have seen that. Helms is from Raw here so he’s an outsider or something like that. Shockingly, the match is a huge mess to start as there are no tags or anything like that. Screw that order stuff.

London’s dropsault is stupid when it’s just one person but it’s cool when there’s two. It’s completely not effective but it looks good. Heck Rock won a bunch of world titles like that though so who cares? London looks like Tajiri for some reason. This is a pure spotfest here with nothing resembling flow or a story or anything like that, which makes sense I guess. At least they didn’t try as that would have been really stupid.

In a nice spot, Funaki whips Noble in and he launches a suicide dive through the ropes to take out two guys. You can tell a lot of these spots are preplanned but that’s fine as it’s working pretty well for what it’s supposed to be. With almost everyone else on the floor, London goes to the top rope and throws a shooting star press to the floor, more or less missing everyone and just slamming into the floor.

It looked PAINFUL and the fans give him a well deserved hokey smoke chant. In a cool spot that I haven’t seen before, London and Helms are on the top and Helms hits a swinging neckbreaker to get us back on the mat. It looked a lot better than it sounds.

For those of you that don’t know, Kash was a fairly big deal in ECW but other than that he’s been a minor player at best. The steps in the background are orange here so it looks like a bunch of empty seats. They get really fast in a hurry but it gets cut off too fast as Helms hits a Shining Wizard to Funaki for the pin.

Rating: B-. Now before everyone jumps on me, this isn’t the same kind of grade that I would give a normal match because this wasn’t supposed to be a standard match. This was designed to be completely insane and all spots to get the crowd awake and it worked fine. That’s the point of this and it did its job, so it gets a decent grade. There is no story to something like this and there shouldn’t be. Helms would hold the belt over a year.

Vince and Teddy long are around the Rumble drawing and Vince tells Long to leave. Naturally there are three hot women there. Orton and HHH come in and draw their numbers. Orton is happy and HHH hates his. Sex jokes abound as these two continue their eternal battle that never goes anywhere. Victoria looks incredible.

Trish is getting ready to be the referee. Mickie James says she loves her, and we have a lesbian stalker angle.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

For no apparent reason, this isn’t for the title as Trish is the referee and the champion here. They would have a decent match at Mania. This is back when Mickie was not only insane but also wore ridiculously awesome skirts. Ashley was one of the biggest flops in wrestling history as the winner of the Diva search who was just awful on a lot of levels. If nothing else we have Lillian, Mickie and Trish in the same ring. That’s not bad at all.

They have a headlock and actually go to the floor without breaking it up. That’s hard to do. Ashley can’t even lock up right. That’s almost sad. What’s sadder is that Joey has to say she’s a superstar. Oh yeah this was also when Mickie would scream her head off, which I’ve always liked for some reason. Ashley tried at least so I’ll give her that. The crowd is completely dead by the way. Mickie’s figure is flat out mesmerizing.

This is so odd to see someone with so much talent like James and someone with so little in Ashley. The thing here is that Mickie loves Trish but Trish trained Ashley. There are far too many bad submissions being done here to have a coherent match too. Ashley goes on offense and while it’s really bad, she’s trying. You can tell the different between someone that just doesn’t want to be there and Ashley, while bad, is trying.

However, her offense is either so limited or the fans like Mickie so much that they completely turn on her and boo her LOUDLY. Mickie powerbombs her out of the corner and Trish is really hesitant to count it, which is either part of the angle or then just giving up and saying let’s try to save some face here and just ending it early. Either of those would be believable to me.

Rating: C-. And that’s as generous as I can be. Ashley was bad here, but she was trying as hard as she could and I can easily respect that. Now later on when she just didn’t care, screw that. The fans turning on her like that annoyed me, but I can get what their point was. This was really just to set up Trish vs. Mickie, which is fine.

We see Helms at the WWE Interactive area, which means he’s chatting on WWE.com, which WCW had about 10 years prior to this.

More Rumble drawings with Rey and Big Show. It’s preceded by Vince checking the girls’ tattoos which is just annoying and stupid. In a funny bit, Show can’t get his hand in the tumbler to get a number out. Show is pleased and Rey is…oh screw it. They’re talking about Eddie again, which draws a huge chant and gives away the ending to the Rumble. Ok, before this comes up later, let’s just get it out of the way now.

The WWE needs to understand something. No wait, actually wrestling in general needs to understand something. When a wrestler dies unexpectedly, it doesn’t make them better. Eddie was indeed a very good if not great wrestler, but based on the things you hear about him now, you would think he was Ric Flair. He’s more about the level of Randy Orton or so. However, the undisputed champion of this is ECW with Louie Spicolli.

He was the epitome of an ok if not decent wrestler that was all of a sudden great after he died from a drug overdose. He simply was not as good as people made him out to be. For all of you ECW marks out there, show me ONE very good Spicolli match. It doesn’t even have to be great.

Show me one time where he had a great match. What was my point here? Oh yeah. Eddie was very good, but he only became considered great after dying. “KB you don’t know anything. He won the world title!” Yeah well this is 2 days after TLC and Sheamus is world champion so the belt really doesn’t prove all that much does it?

JBL vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is that JBL is terrified of Boogey. Oh and Boogey bit the “mole” off of Jillian’s face. She’s his assistant here or something like that. My goodness JBL has fallen far since winning the world title less than two years before this. It continues to amuse me when someone like Boogeyman is weighed in. And now I’m annoyed. I’ve never liked the Boogeyman character for one reason: he makes a mockery of wrestling.

Now yes, there’s a lot of stupid characters and while I tend to dislike the majority of them, when they can have a decent match, it’s almost acceptable. Boogeyman couldn’t do that, so when he does stuff like eat worms, then spit them up and spit them down into Jillian’s mouth, I have no use for him at all. It continues to have stupidity attached to it as we have to hear about how disgusted the announcers are.

Seriously, the Four Horsemen are in the same business as this guy. That’s just ridiculous. Thankfully, this lasts about a minute and a half, as after a stupid brawl where Boogey sells nothing at all, JBL misses a Clothesline and somehow slams into the post in a completely awful looking spot. A pumphandle slam ends it.

Rating: F-. This would usually be an N/A, but this was just a complete and utter waste of time. Seriously, why did this need to happen? I know it took less than 5 minutes, but really, there was NOTHING else we could have used that for? I hate gimmicks like these, I truly do.

Vince hits on the girls more and you can see they hate it. Shelton’s mama shows up. This was a freaking stupid gimmick where Shelton’s mom showed up to make sure he was taken care of. It was some comedienne that no one has ever heard of in a fat suit. You figure out how well it worked. Melina shows up and gets hit on too. Mama prevents him from hitting on her.

MNM, Joey Mercury and Johnny “Morrison” Nitro show up to draw as well. Both seem fairly middle of the road with their numbers. Melina says they’ll eliminate Shawn. We finish this long segment off with more Vince hitting on the girls. They eventually became a stable called Vince’s Devils. Yeah it went nowhere.

Before the Rumble starts, we have the Spirit Squad. Now for those of you that weren’t around for these guys, they were male cheerleaders that won the tag titles from Kane and Big Show. Amazingly everyone said the only one with talent was Kenny Dykstra. The one known as Nick became known as Dolph Ziggler. What does that tell you? Lillian is jaw dropingly hot here.

Royal Rumble

Lillian flubbing her lines is somehow sexy. How is that possible? HHH is number one and Rey is number two. Well you certainly can’t say they’re using no names to start us out. This is big match that’s never happened before. Oh the intervals are 90 seconds here. Oh here we go Rey is driving a lowrider. HEY, WE GET IT ABOUT EDDIE! I wouldn’t be so annoyed about it, but seriously, he brought up Eddie in the BATISTA feud.

Oh look he draped an Eddie shirt on the car. This is freaking ridiculous because it’s obvious Rey is going to win here for the sake of “honoring Eddie.” Rey’s entrance reaches Taker levels of time. He does the ten punches in the corner and looks up before he does it. This is freaking ridiculous and we’re just hitting number 3 which is Simon Dean. Cole, who is doing the commentary with Lawler, FREAKS because a Smackdown guy is attacking a Smackdown guy.

They team up and eliminate him easily. Have I mentioned that I hate the Bronco Buster? Psicosis of the Mexicools is 4th. They were a team of Mexican stereotypes who rode lawnmowers. I wish I was making that up. Rey counters a Razor’s Edge to put him out with ease again so we stay with those two guys. Number 5 is Flair of all people. He trips coming into the ring as Rey is down for no apparent reason.

Flair and HHH hammer on each other for awhile as I think HHH is a heel here. Oh yeah he would be. That was a stupid comment. He and Flair feuded over the IC belt of all things in some decent matches. You know for a guy that was allegedly the biggest ladies man ever, he used a lot of testicular claws. He’s gone soon after and we’re back at 2 people. Big Show is 6th so hopefully we get people in here for awhile.

He’s mad at HHH also, which is still going on today, which works as it’s been less than five years ago so a feud can easily go on that long. Naturally Show dominates here. With an eyeroll from me, Coach is number 7. Why did he always get spots in the Rumble? Show puts him out in about 30 seconds. Show demonstrates his intelligence by having HHH above his head twice and not even getting close to the ropes.

The announcers say that Coach might have set a record for shortest time in the Rumble. That’s so stupid I’m not even going to bother making fun of it. Lashley is 8th and they say he could be a dark horse. Can I get a rim shot? He’s a rookie phenomenon here, meaning that his career wouldn’t mean much since Vince refused to ever pull the trigger on him, even though he tried. In an impressive move, he gets a backdrop on Show as Kane, who is currently tag champions with Show, is 9th.

He and Lashley square off in a match of two guys that will never win a world title in WWE again. In a very impressive looking spot that wasn’t really that impressive, he hits the Dominator on Kane. Rey has been down WAY too long for no apparent reason. Sylvan, playing a gay character who doesn’t actually say he’s gay is 10th. He’s the fashion consultant or something. Yeah he’s gone in about 30 seconds.

Show and Kane hit a double chokeslam on Lashley and throw him out. So HHH and Rey are more or less just laying on the mat for about 5-6 minutes at a time which is again, stupid. HHH puts Kane and Big Show out, thus reaffirming his theory that he could out fight God if he had to.

Carlito is 11th, as other than the first two guys, no one has lasted 10 minutes yet. I really don’t like this theory of only having a few guys in there for the majority of the match. The Rumble should have about 6-7 guys in the ring for the majority of the match. It’s just right and it allows for things to not be too boring but also not too weak. Benoit is 12th as we’re picking up a bit.

He chops and suplexes the heck out of everyone just because he’s Chris Benoit and they’re not. Carlito gets a crossface for good measure as Benoit is freaking awesome. He and HHH fight over a suplex with Benoit on the apron which was cool looking if nothing else. The Canadian fights out of that and hits the headbutt on HHH so Carlito can get back up. Booker is 13th and the US Champion at the moment.

He’s wearing long tights which looks odd indeed. He would become king in a few months. Yep Booker is gone already, naturally by Benoit as those two were eternally joined at the hip for some reason. Apparently 20 minutes or so is a long time now. So the most we’ve had is what, 5 people I believe?

Mercury of MNM is 14th and since he brings Melina with him, he’s awesome. I love the way they carried the belts as they hung them from their pants so they swung between their legs. It’s original if nothing else. Mercury really is underrated in the ring. He’s a lot better than people realize. Cole brags about setting ratings records on UPN. That’s just hilarious. Tatanka is 15th to ZERO reaction.

He returned for a few months and no one, I mean NO ONE cared at all. His offense has somehow gotten even more generic if that’s possible which I didn’t think it was. The fans do the Florida St. Seminole chant to try to validate his entrance. Nitro is 16th. More commonly known as John Morrison if you’re not familiar. Tatanka beats on him, which somehow validated Matt Hardy and Tatanka vs. MNM on PPV in a non title match. You read that right.

The fans chant Eddie to just tick me off even more. Only Vince would manage to use death to push storylines. Trevor Murdoch is 17th. To recap we have HHH, Rey, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch and for some reason Tatanka. Cole takes a lull to mention that Rey is dedicating this match to Eddie. Eugene is 18th, and is booed out of the freaking building. He’s a classic case of a comedy character being used badly.

Rey hurts him to get a solid pop. For the love of goodness Animal of the LOD is 19th. Seriously, who picked these people? Oh apparently the new LOD are the long time rivals of MNM. You know, the team that’s been around for a few months. There are WAY too many people in there right now. RVD is 20th to a HUGE pop. Thankfully for the first time in history the company listened to the pop and made him world champion in June before he smoked his way out of the main event.

Oh yeah this was the summer that ECW returned. He cleans house of course. MNM is doing the Demolition thing of teaming up on everyone which is smart. Animal is out thank goodness. Orlando Jordan is 21st and I somehow manage to lose even more interest in this match. There are FAR too many people in the ring at the moment. Chavo is 22nd. Ok, him I have no problem with doing the pointing thing. There’s your difference between Chavo and Rey.

Chavo won a match with JBL on the Eddie tribute show, pointed to the sky a few times, and started using the frog splash. He’s mentioned Eddie a few times over the years, but for the most part he’s just said that he’s a Guerrero which he would have been no matter what. He had one angle with Rey over the Guerrero name, which made sense when you thought about it. That’s perfectly fine.

Then you have Rey, who used the splash, drove a lowrider, blew one up, pointed to the sky and dedicated about a year’s worth of matches to Eddie, using him as an angle and getting the world title because of it. He still mentions Eddie for storylines 4 years after Eddie passed away. There’s paying homage then there’s just being freaking ridiculous. What does Chavo get for being more humble about it? He lasts a minute here while Rey lasts an hour.

Of course Chavo shouldn’t have won or been in the last group or anything, but would 10-15 minutes have killed anyone? Seriously, Tatanka can get a long time but Chavo can’t? Matt Hardy is 23rd. There’s like 12 people in there right now and it’s absurd. You can’t see a thing in there at the moment either. Tatanka FINALLY goes out as Super Crazy is 24th. What is the point of half these guys being in here?

Shawn is 25th to a nice pop. He gets pyro when he comes out which is odd in a Rumble match. He ends Murdoch to thin the ranks out a bit. Chris Masters, who is more or less a newcomer at this point, somehow gets pyro also at 26th. I’m not even bothering to try to tell who all is in there at this point. Nothing of note is happening anyway. Viscera, currently the world’s largest love machine is 27th.

He puts out the far more talented Matt Hardy, but not before giving him the Visagra, which is where the other guy is on his stomach and Viscera gets on top of them and gyrates his hips. Yeah it’s worse than it sounds. Shelton is in next along with his mother. This is somehow stupider than I thought it was going to be. Eugene is gone, leaving a huge pool of sweat on the mat beneath him.

They’re really speeding up the intervals here to get through this. Goldust, who is returning for like the 12th time is 29th. That leaves Orton as number 30. Rey puts Crazy out as Orton comes out last. Ok, so your final group is Rey, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Shawn, Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Yeah that’s not too many people at all. Screw the sarcasm. YES IT’S TOO MANY FREAKING PEOPLE!

Geez do you think 14, or just under half of the people being left at the end is enough? Why don’t we just get rid of the whole unique aspect of the freaking match and make it a regular battle royal like the classic World War 3 series that WCW used to do? Those things went great didn’t they? Dang it Vince how hard is it to book a freaking Rumble? You have about 7-8 guys in at the end, 5-6 of them are big names and two or three jobbers.

Three are legit contenders, three are dark horses, and two are jobbers. There, that took 8 seconds to come up with. Orton puts Benoit out which Cole says is a rematch from Summerslam two years ago. More like a year and a half but who cares about facts? Carlito and Masters put out Viscera and then Carlito throws out Masters. Goldust takes forever to set up Shattered Dreams but at least manages to kick that turnbuckle really well.

RVD puts him out just before Orton puts out Jordan. Shawn and HHH go at it to keep the balance of the universe in order. Shawn puts out both of MNM within 5 seconds of each other to further kill the tag division which HHH and Shawn are the current champions of as of this being written. Sweet Chin Music puts out Shelton as Shawn is on a roll. Vince’s music hits as he and Shawn were feuding at the moment. He distracts Shawn so Shane can put Shawn out.

That leaves us with Rey, HHH, Carlito, Orton and RVD. Well I’m glad they took their time getting rid of the people. Shawn goes after Shane but HHH stops him but gets chin music. HBK chases the McMahons out because he’s a face and they’re heels. Van Dam puts Carlito out to give us our final four of Rey, HHH, Orton and RVD. RVD was returning so he wasn’t going to win.

HHH and Orton were possible and Rey was the clear winner so there we go. They split off with HHH vs. Rey and Orton vs. RVD. The faces hit some nice double team stuff to hurt the heels. Van Dam shows how stupid he is by going for a Five Star and gets put out. Orton and HHH get together for no apparent reason other than to beat up a guy that’s 5’5. However, Rey is empowered by the memories of a guy that he feuded with so he takes them both down.

Orton fights HHH. In other news, the sky is blue. Rey puts out HHH and it’s officially inevitable. Rey gets beaten up by HHH to just further make us take note of how awesome Rey is. Orton acts cocky and yeah Mysterio is going to Mania. Orton would get in and make it a triple threat where Rey would win the title and of course, dedicate it to Eddie since that’s all he’s allowed to do.

Rating: D. Eddie oversaturation aside, this Rumble sucked and it sucked hard. The booking was way off here as there were far too few guys in the ring at first and far too few in the end. The Rey thing annoys the heck out of me as people like to say RIP Eddie, yet they have zero problem with his history being exploited for the sake of bad storylines. Rey was passable as champion, but let him get there on his own and not because a guy died. That’s just stupid.

Other than that, WAY too many jobbers and fillers in there, which kind of reflects on the company as a whole. Seriously, why did Booker and Lashley stay in there for just a bit? To be fair, Booker was hurt so that might explain it. Either way, this match was awful in a lot of ways and I hated it quite a bit.

Rey is happy with his win.

We recap Cena vs. Edge, which was a result of the first cashing in of the Money in the Bank in a truly shocking moment. This was a huge thing as Cena was completely dominant and everyone was TICKED when he held the title again after the Elimination Chamber.

But when Vince’s music went on, everyone knew what was coming and it was awesome. Naturally Cena insisted on a rematch and talked about respect and having the title mean a lot to him. This was also the reign with the live sex celebration that apparently made Edge’s career better than Taker’s.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

So the scaffolds from the ceiling begin to lower. Smoke and lights and pyro go off. Styles says it looks like a spaceship. Yep, Cena is getting a special entrance that of course looks awesome. More or less his feet are where the top of his head would be if he was walking normally. Yeah there’s nothing at all that’s being implied about who wins here at all. Lita of course looks completely amazing. If nothing else I’ve heard Edge’s theme live so that’s cool.

For the love of all things good and holy, change the spinner belt. The W is spun almost halfway around and it just looks stupid. It starts off with their standard stuff which is traditionally good. Cena starts off in control but thanks to Lita Edge hits a spear into the steps, which more or less proves that he desperately needs a new finisher. We go into the crowd for just a bit but it goes nowhere. Cena dives in to beat the ten count which if nothing else looked cool.

Edge goes old school with his spinning heel kick. Why is Joey Styles the only commentator that mentions the referee’s names consistently? Cena can sell really well if nothing else. Good night Lita’s chest is amazing. The announcers get into an interesting argument: who is the better technical wrestler? That’s a most interesting question that’s going to get a thread soon. Edge’s facials remain awesome as ever. The crowd is fairly loudly booing John here.

Edge chokes Cena so of course despite being put in a hold that should kill him or would end any MMA fight, he gets up with ease. Both guys are down so we get another few shots of Lita’s chest to fill time. Following some botched interference from the hot chick, the FU and STFU give Cena the belt again. That was abrupt.

Rating: B. Eh, this was what it was. Cena and Edge work together just fine so their matches are almost always passable. Edge was more or less given the title as a test run and that’s fine. He got his name in there and that’s what counts. Cena was definitely the right choice to have the belt going into Mania so I have no issues with the booking here. The match was fine and it came off well. It’s nothing great but it’s fine for a title change that goes 15 minutes.

In case you were wondering, Rey is still happy that he won.

We do a very quick, as in about 10 second long recap of Angle vs. Henry, which consists of Henry breaking the ankle lock, which had been done by about 15 people up to this point, but it’s impressive here because of POWER. Angle was a transitional champion if there ever was one.

He took over when Batista got hurt (shocking isn’t it?) so he’s held the title less than three weeks at this point. Angle does his usual solid promo and then comes back to tell Henry he sucks. That’s what makes Angle better than most. He would head to TNA later in the year and be a huge coup for TNA.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

So Daivari used to hang out with Angle but he dumped him for Henry for no apparent reason. Soon after this Khali would show up. Yeah Angle is introduced as the new World Heavyweight Champion here. That’s the beauty of having guys like Angle or Shawn on your roster.

If something like an injury happens, you can throw the title on them for a quick fix and because they hang around the upper midcard with occasional main event matches, it’s perfectly believable to put the belt on them and no one really had a problem with Angle as champion. We get a fairly long feeling out period, but Henry catches Angle in position for the World’s Strongest Slam. Naturally though instead of slamming him though, he throws him to the floor.

More or less Henry beats the tar out of Angle for awhile as you would expect. Good night Henry you’ve been in the company ten years at this point. Don’t you think it’s time you learned some new offense? I mean really, we know you can slam, club, punch and squeeze. LEARN ANYTHING NEW. Angle gets a bad German, but to be fair, look what he’s working with. Angle Slam gets two. Henry powers out of the ankle lock using the same counter that everyone else uses to knock the referee down.

Angle gets a bad chair shot to Daivari and takes it into the ring. The chair is bent which always looks cool. Angle goes Hogan and cheats but remains a face. Two decent chair shots put Henry down but the fans are more or less dead here. They of course get two which gets a decent pop. I really don’t get the point of the chairs this early in the match. Angle pulls the turnbuckle pad off the middle turnbuckle and sends Henry’s head into it on a reversal for the pin. Really? That’s the best you’ve got?

Rating: D-. I have no freaking clue what they were going for here, but it was just an epic failure. Henry had no business being in there but he came off looking like a far bigger face than Angle did. It was really short, and I have no idea what the point was of this main eventing the show. Oh wait. Now I get it.

A gong goes off and the lights go purple. Ok, Taker has druids and a horse drawn chariot. That makes up for the main event. He signals that he wants the belt and sets off lightning. The ropes fall to the ground and the ring collapses as Angle holds the belt to his chest as we go off the air. Ok, that was freaking cool.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very lackluster show. I know a lot of people will love the Eddie tributes etc. but I HATED them. One or two points to the sky and some frog splashes are just fine but seriously, giving the Rumble and ultimately the world title to a guy over Eddie? That’s WAY too much. Other than that, there’s just nothing special here at all. Edge and Cena is pretty easily the match of the night.

This show really was more about setting up for the future though, as Cena had to get the belt back and Angle had to get set up with Taker, which they managed to accomplish both. This really started setting the table for Mania, so that’s fine, but the show just wasn’t that interesting. Not recommended at all really, although some people might like it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 8, 2005
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the card is looking decent at best. You can see most of if not all of the card, but at the same time they have a few things left to set up or at least push. If nothing else, we need Hulk Hogan to actually respond to Shawn Michaels and that is going to take place tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eric Bischoff trying to stack the deck to get the World Title off of John Cena last week, complete with Carlito and Chris Jericho managing to pull defeat out of the jaws of victory. Jericho did manage to bust Cena open and steal the title though, in a move that almost always works.

Opening sequence.

Here are Eugene and Christy Hemme for the Gold Medal Invitational, but first Eugene, in a Hulk Hogan shirt, needs to talk about how awesome Hogan is. Christy says this is about Eugene though and does the GIVE ME AN E deal, only to have Kurt Angle interrupt. Angle says he’s the hometown hero this week and he’s getting his medals back.

As you might guess, the fans are not happy with Eugene here and Angle saying Pittsburgh doesn’t need Hulk Hogan when they have him makes it even worse. They even get in an argument over whether or not Eugene is a gold medalist because that’s what these fans want to hear. Eugene isn’t happy with Angle swearing so we start in a hurry.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Angle kicks him into the corner to start but stops to yell at the referee. A backbreaker gets two on Eugene, who drives Angle into the corner. The referee takes a shot to the back of the head but Eugene says it was Angle and the referee believes him. A shot to the face drops Eugene as we’re already halfway through. Eugene is sent face first into the buckle and that’s enough to fire him up again. Angle grabs the release German suplex to cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is escaped. Instead Angle charges into the referee and that’s a DQ to keep the medal on Eugene.

Post match Angle destroys Eugene but Hogan makes the save, with Angle, the HOMETOWN HERO, getting beaten up again. Who thought this was a good idea? I mean other than Hulk of course. Posing ensues and the fans don’t seem overly interested.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Masters

Lawler and Coach shushing JR during Masters’ entrance works for some reason. Masters grabs a headlock to start so Benjamin takes him down with a dragon screw legwhip. A slam puts Benjamin down but Masters nearly botches the elbow drop as Shelton tries to roll away. The bearhug goes on as JR is sounding a little uncomfortable with how much Lawler and Coach enjoy looking at Masters. Shelton is back with a jawbreaker and running kneelift to set up a high crossbody for two. A sleeper doesn’t work well though as Masters kicks him low, setting up the Masterlock for the win.

Rating: D. I know I bring this up a lot but WHAT HAPPENED TO SHELTON??? He holds the Intercontinental Title for the better part of a year and then he’s putting over everyone on the roster. Unless there was some sort of a backstage issue, I really don’t get the moves here, but it’s rather annoying and frustrating at the same time.

A very pleased Angle leaves Bischoff’s office. He’s got another shot at the medals at Summerslam but there’s no time limit, so Angle can hurt him as much as he wants.

Rob Conway isn’t worried about Viscera and hits on Maria a bit. Viscera comes in and asks Conway if he’s part of the Village People and belts out some YMCA. A brawl nearly starts but Viscera threatens Visagra before leaving. JR: “Is that what you’re taking King?”

We recap Matt Hardy’s invasions, leading to him being rehired last week.

Edge and Lita think rehiring Matt is brilliant because now he can do whatever he wants to Matt at Summerslam. Matt’s promo last week was pathetic because he should have been able to manage so much more after what he had been through. Edge points to his eyes and says this is passion and intensity. Lita left Matt for him after Matt never proposed in six years.

See, Matt should really be thanking Edge because he had never gotten reactions like this until he rode Edge’s coattails into the main event. Edge was facing main eventers while Matt was defending the Cruiserweight Title. Matt is here now because his girlfriend fell in love with a main eventer. We’re thirteen minutes into Matt’s fifteen minutes of fame and time is up at Summerslam. Very intense promo from Edge, whose facials were awesome as usual. I’m not sure how much the average fan is going to care, but it was some great delivery and much more of an insider’s promo than usual.

Rob Conway vs. Viscera

Conway tries some big forearms in the corner to start so Viscera hits the overhand chop to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a swinging Boss Man Slam, allowing Viscera to hit the hip swiveling. Conway dropkicks the knee and drops some elbows on it, only to get pulled into the Visagra. Back up and Viscera tries a slam, only to have the leg give out so Conway can fall on top for the pin. Conway is good in the role but they don’t have long to waste him in matches like this. He doesn’t have a lot of depth to his character and if it’s all stuff against people on Viscera’s level, fans aren’t going to be interested for long.

Hurricane/Rosey/Stacy Keibler vs. Heartthrobs/Victoria

Antonio punches Hurricane in the face to start so Hurricane takes him down with a fireman’s carry. Romeo comes in for a double Russian legsweep and a jumping elbow gets two. The Throbs miss a double dropkick and it’s Rosey coming in to no reaction. Stacy offers a little shake though and everything breaks down, only to have Victoria slam her into the barricade. A double STO finishes Rosey back inside. I know the Tag Team Titles don’t have the best history but this has to be close to the bottom of the whole lineage. They haven’t been defended in weeks and this is practically the whole division.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with the pyro seemingly going off later than expected as Jericho gets cut off mid-sentence. His guest this week is Eric Bischoff, who of course is Jericho’s close friend. They shake hands a few times, leaving Bischoff to talk about how Cena’s music career (including his music video premiering tonight) is the only thing he’ll have left after Summerslam.

Jericho has his own music video, showing him beating down Cena last week to Fozzy’s To Kill A Stranger. Bischoff isn’t happy with what happened last week though and that is due to referee Chad Patton, who counted the pin when Jericho was taken out. Patton comes out and gets slapped around by both of them, setting this up.

Chad Patton vs. Chris Jericho

Bischoff is referee and Patton actually drives Jericho into the corner to start before the beating is on. Patton loses most of his shirt and here’s Carlito to make it worse. Jericho chokes away and chops Patton against the ropes, leaving Carlito to get in some shots on the floor. A spinebuster into the Walls make Patton tap, with Bischoff taking his time to call for the bell.

Post match Jericho won’t let go so here’s Cena for the save (including a mistimed flying shoulder to Carlito, which hits him in the knee).

Post break Bischoff makes Cena vs. Carlito/Jericho.

And now, in case this show hasn’t been enough of a waste of time, it’s the Diva Search. We do get some good news: this stupid thing is over next week and Kristal is cut. Earlier today, everyone else had the chance to get the fans’ votes but things weren’t going to go according to plan.

Ashley gave her phone number but took a pie to the face to cut things off.

Leyla was holding up a sign and suggesting she was sans clothing when a pie to the face showed that wasn’t the case.

Elizabeth talked about having the fans’ support and didn’t really stop when the pie hit her.

Matt Hardy vs. Snitsky

Hardy starts slugging away early on and kicks Snitsky in the face for the first knockdown. A spinebuster cuts Hardy off and there’s a clothesline to put him down again. There’s a suplex so Snitsky can beat on his chest, setting up a side slam for two. The pumphandle slam is countered though and Snitsky misses a big boot in the corner, setting up a Twist of Fate out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. And that’s it for Matt’s chances at meaning anything as he was just a guy here. He was a bit more aggressive but it’s not like this was any star making performance. The run-ins were good, but I really wouldn’t have had him get in the ring until Summerslam. Not a good match and it killed Hardy’s aura.

Post match Edge runs in to jump Matt but referees break it up.

Post break Matt jumps Edge but gets pulled away again.

Here’s John Cena’s new music video for the song Right Now.

It’s time for the big main event argument as Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels go face to face, with Jerry Lawler moderating. Lawler asks if Shawn is jealous but Shawn talks about Hogan being nice enough to show up here for a change. Hogan’s life offers nothing Shawn could want because Hogan can’t touch him in this ring. All of Hogan’s personality means nothing at Summerslam because Hogan can’t hold a candle to him.

Hogan is asked about the Larry King segment but Shawn cuts him off to say that Hogan has to deal with the truth for the first time ever. Shawn is the first person who won’t buckle in front of Hogan because no one is going to fire him. He’s been fired so many times but WWE keeps bringing him back because this place doesn’t exist without him. Hogan finally cuts him off and says Shawn is making this too personal. If Shawn wanted a match, all he had to do was ask. Instead Shawn cheap shotted him, and all Hogan had to do was call Bret Hart to hear about that.

Shawn smiles at that one and promises that Hogan is next. Hogan: “When you left the WWE for seven years, you said it was because you lost your smile.” I’ll let you try to figure out Hogan’s version of history on that one as Hogan talks about being her for the fans’ smiles. He asks Shawn what he’s going to do so Shawn’s shirt comes off…so he can superkick Lawler. The fight with Hogan is on and it’s a big boot so Hogan can throw Shawn outside. A lot of posing ends the show.

The Bret line was good but Shawn is carrying every bit of these promos and the feud as a whole, which is going to make the reactions at Summerslam rather interesting. It’s almost hard to get annoyed at Shawn here as he is saying a lot of things that are very true, but Hogan is going to do his usual stuff at Summerslam and get cheered because he’s Hogan (fair enough). Shawn is the more interesting one here though and that’s making things a little more interesting.

Overall Rating: D-. The interesting thing here was that while the show could have been worse, it felt like a complete waste of time. There are three big Raw matches taking place at Summerslam but how interesting are they going to be? Hardy lost a ton tonight because he was mostly just his old self, Jericho vs. Cena is a lame Austin clone and Shawn vs. Hogan sells itself. The rest of the show was awful and it remains clear that there is nothing outside of the three Summerslam matches going on around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2005
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are officially on the road to Summerslam and that means it’s time to crank things up. Now granted that doesn’t mean much of a change around here as a lot of the matches have already been set up or at least made clear. Tonight we’re getting a Diva Search segment plus a battle of the bands between Chris Jericho and John Cena, because we’re just lucky that way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s nightmare of a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his Kurt Angle Invitational but he isn’t in the mood to waste time. Therefore, get the opponent out here right now. This brings out….Christy Hemme? Angle is rather confused but likes the idea, suggesting they start in the referee’s position. Christy says don’t flatter yourself because she has another opponent in mind, and he happens to be from Cleveland.

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

It’s Eugene’s first match since January due to the knee injury. Angle doesn’t get it as Eugene isn’t from Cleveland. That means Eugene takes off his jacket to reveal a Cleveland Browns jersey, but Kurt isn’t convinced. A Duck Season/Rabbit Season bit doesn’t work either but Kurt says Eugene is making him mentally challenged too. Angle jumps him from behind and we start fast with Angle ripping off the jersey. Wouldn’t that be an improvement?

Anyway, Kurt chokes with the jersey and hits him with crossface shots to the jaw as the dominance is on in a hurry. The fans get on Angle as he unloads in the corner but a ram into the buckle wakes Eugene up. The comeback is on as we only have thirty seconds left. Angle blocks the Stunner and there’s the Angle Slam but the ankle lock is rolled through, sending Kurt outside and Eugene beats the clock.

Rating: D+. What do you say to this? It’s a squash until Angle slips on a banana peel to lose to a returning comedy guy. Christy being in Eugene’s corner doesn’t fix a lot of his problems, like the fact that he’s still Eugene. It was nice to get a payoff though, even if it might not be the best idea in the world.

There’s a mini Viscera. What else do I need to say to that?

John Cena comes in to see Eric Bischoff and talks about thinking he was Scott Baio for a while. Now though, he knows he’s the WWE Champion. Bischoff wants a more down to earth champion though and calls Cena white trash. Cena: “Ooooh.” Bischoff calls all rappers scum and slime and turns around as the camera zooms in on him. We wait for it to zoom out for the big surprise, so after promising to make Cena miserable, we pan over to see….that Cena has left.

Viscera/Cloacas vs. Antonio/Pocket Rocket

Yes it’s a mixed tag and Pocket Rocket is a mini Heartthrob. Rocket takes over to start and gets in the dancing as Coach and Lawler get in the jokes you would expect. The beating keeps going for a few minutes until the cheating fails, allowing Viscera to come in off the hot tag. Viscera beats up both Heartthrobs, stares at Rocket for punching him, tosses Rocket to the floor and lets Cloacas hit a splash on Antonio to set up the pin.

Rating: F. Nope.

The ambulance arrives, because we need Edge vs. Kane in a stretcher match.

We get a tribute to Lord Alfred Hayes, who passed away earlier in the week. It’s almost strange to see him as a wrestler.

Bischoff puts Shelton Benjamin in a handicap match instead of the No DQ/No Countout match he wanted against Carlito. Shelton has to face Gene Snitsky and Chris Masters, which he says is like Bischoff’s breath: it stinks.

Maria thinks Chris Jericho is here with Fozzie Bear and wants to know if the other Muppets are going to be here. Jericho isn’t pleased and asks what a limp biscuit is and rips on Cleveland. He’s ready for the battle of the bands.

It’s time for the battle of the bands with Cena, accompanied by Trademarc and Bumpy Knuckles, performing Bad Bad Man live.

Post performance, here’s Jericho to say that was awful. This isn’t the crowd for Fozzy to perform in front of though, because this crowd is biased against him. Therefore, Cena wins by default but he’ll lose at Summerslam. Jericho leaves and Cena and company perform My Time Is Now. This is in no way shape or form an excuse to see the Diva Search girls dancing in swimsuits in the back.

Shawn Michaels sees himself in a mirror and screams for makeup.

Bischoff makes Cena vs. Carlito. If Carlito can beat Cena tonight, he can have a title shot next week. Carlito finds this cool, especially since Jericho can be referee

Here’s Shawn, in the heelish suit, for a chat. Shawn promotes Hogan Knows Best to silence (Shawn: “Then you’ve seen it.”) but doesn’t want a reality show. He doesn’t want to be a rapper or a rock star or an actor. No he’d rather be the best in-ring performer the WWE has ever seen. Hogan is living off a reputation he created twenty years ago but Shawn is out there every night proving himself all over again. Hogan lives in a million dollar home built off the sweat of every fan at home.

After all that though, the best Hogan can give you is some posing, which Shawn demonstrates. Shawn says this building is quiet because the people in the back are freaking out. He’s shooting you see, but you can’t fire him because he’s the Summerslam main event. If you wanted the old HBK, you’ve got him. Years from now, people are going to remember him as the icon. So whatcha gonna do when Shawn rolls over you at Summerslam?

We look at Eugene winning again. Next week: the Eugene Invitational.

Snitsky/Chris Masters vs. Shelton Benjamin

Snitsky jumps Shelton during Masters’ entrance but gets clotheslined to the floor in a hurry. That means the big flip dive from Benjamin and both villains are taken down. Back in and Snitsky pounds Shelton down in the corner so Masters can grab a front facelock. Shelton finally kicks him away so Snitsky gets in a cheap shot. Snitsky demands the Masterlock so on it goes….and Shelton is out.

Rating: D. Remember about a month and a half ago when Shelton looked ready to jump up to the next level? I’m not sure if he’s gotten a pin since then and it doesn’t look to be anything better going forward. At least he’s getting a feud away from Carlito, but Masters might not be the brightest future.

Post match the beating continues so Big Show makes the save.

It’s Diva Search time and Cameron is out. This week’s contest is a hot dog eating contest and it takes them the full minute to finish a single hot dog. Since there is a tie, Leyla has to win a thirty second eat off for immunity. I can only hope, but this felt like they knew they needed to pull the plug and didn’t give it much time this week. Please let that be the case because I can’t take much more on this show.

Kane vs. Edge

Stretcher match with Kane jumping him from behind during the entrances. The beating starts around the ring with Kane ramming him into various things, including the barricade and the steps. It’s too early to get Edge across the line though so Kane throws him down the ramp instead.

Back from a break with Kane in trouble for a change but the Edgecution is broken up. Kane hits the top rope clothesline but Lita takes a chair away from him. That means the spear to cut Kane down, only for Edge to realize it’s not that simple. Kane gets back up so Lita kendo sticks him in the knee.

Edge’s hard stick shot to the head puts him back down and gives us the smallest….well it’s not a trickle…..we’ll say dot of blood I can ever remember. Kane sits up to block the Pillmanizing and chairs Edge off the top. A chokeslam drops Edge onto the stretcher but Lita is right there with the briefcase to Kane’s back. Edge saves Lita from the chokeslam onto/off of the stage and a briefcase to the head is enough to give Edge the win.

Rating: D+. This was another example of the same thing that they’ve done a few times now and I don’t need to see it again. It’s beyond clear that this is heading for Matt Hardy vs. Edge but we can’t do that because Kane vs. Edge can’t end already. Just let it end already because it’s completely done at this point.

Post match Kane pops up and Tombstones Lita on the stage. As luck would have it, we have a stretcher right there. As Edge panics, Matt runs down for a few shots but security breaks it up.

Post break Lita is being loaded into the ambulance but Kane pops in again, punches out a cop, and steals the ambulance. Coach: “When is enough enough?” I’d love to hear WWE answer that.

Carlito vs. John Cena

Non-title and Bischoff is watching from the stage. Cena knows he’s in trouble here but backdrops Carlito anyway. Carlito gets in a shot to the face to put Cena on the floor Jericho is willing to count and even takes away Carlito’s chair. The distraction lets Cena hit his clothesline for a fairly slow one count.

Another shot lets Carlito take over in the corner and an elbow gives him two, with the same speed from Jericho. Carlito hits a flapjack for two and the chinlock goes on. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but Cena is back with the fisherman’s suplex. Carlito runs him down again and we’re in another chinlock. The knee to the ribs gets two but Cena fights up. The FU is loaded up but Jericho kicks Cena low and hits the Lionsault to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: D+. The idea here was that Jericho was calling the match down the line and for some reason JR bought it. Jericho yells at Cena as usual earlier in the night, referees fairly with the evil boss watching for eight minutes and then the turn (Was it a turn?) is shocking? I can go with the idea of throwing in the mini feud with Carlito to give them a bridge to Summerslam, but the shock and awe at Jericho being himself is a little much.

Overall Rating: D-. This was a rough one with nothing good in the ring, a bunch of stuff that felt like it was there because no one else was watching, and whatever that Viscera stuff was. Some of the matches could have been worse but with nothing good all night and a bunch of stuff that made my head hurt, the show is as close to a failure as you can get without going all the way over the line.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 2005
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re getting closer to Summerslam and that means things are picking up with some of the bigger stories. You can guess a lot of the Raw matches from here and that means they have a clear directive going forward. Now the question is how well they can make those goals work. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Lilian Garcia announces an Intercontinental Title match but here’s Eric Bischoff to cut her off. We see a clip of John Cena giving him an FU last week and that’s not cool with Bischoff. He’s thought about firing Cena but instead he has some better punishment. Tonight, it’s Cena vs. Gene Snitsky in a lumberjack match. Sounds like punishment to me.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is challenging and the title can change hands via countout. Carlito knocks him into the corner for some stomping to start but Shelton nails a running clothesline and the Stinger Splash. The springboard shoulder puts Carlito on the floor so he considers leaving, only to pause so Shelton can hit the clothesline off the apron. Shelton gets caught on top though and Carlito stomps away in the Tree of Woe. We hit the waistlock to stay on the ribs but Shelton fights back up and hits the Dragon Whip. That’s fine with Carlito, who hits him low for the DQ, because we need to do this AGAIN next week.

Rating: C-. I’m completely over seeing these two fight and now they’ve set up another rematch. Shelton should have come off his huge Intercontinental Title reign and moved up to the main event scene but instead he’s stuck coming up short to Carlito over and over. The match wasn’t even good and you could guess the ending as soon as they mentioned the countout stipulation.

We look at Shawn Michaels’ explanation and superkick to Roddy Piper from last week.

It’s Kurt Angle Invitational time but first, Kurt talks about how he gave us some drama last week. He was never in any danger of losing to Matt Striker but let the clock get down to a second left to make the fans believe they could see a miracle. Like the Eagles winning the Super Bowl! Anyway get the opponent out here. Cue Matt Striker again, who calls himself Matt Martel again, this time claiming to be from Philadelphia. The fans cheer for him because HE SAID THE CITY’S NAME! Angle explains the whole thing and calls out the lies so there’s no match. Or maybe we can, with Angle jumping him from behind.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Striker

Angle hits an uppercut but Striker pulls a choke out of nowhere to put Angle down. That stays on for about a minute and a half until Angle throws him off. The Angle Slam and ankle lock finish Striker at 2:35. I have no idea why they needed to do the exact same deal again but with less drama.

It’s Diva Search time, but before we get to the elimination, we need thirty seconds each to hear who they would vote off.

Ashley: Cameron, because she would be better off on a runway in Paris.

Leyla: Simona, because she doesn’t have what it takes to be a Diva.

Summer: Simona, because she belongs on the cover of Vogue instead of being a Diva.

Kristal: Elizabeth, because she’s too talented of a dancer and actress to be here.

The BORING chants began right around here in case you were wondering.

Elizabeth: Kristal, because she is a great painter and should explore that instead.

Simona: Summer, because she would make a great lingerie model instead.

Cameron: Ashley, because she’s tough and hardcore and would be better as a street fighter.

Simona is voted off as at least these things are getting a little shorter each week.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

Kerwin White, with his golf club, is in Bischoff’s office. Eric suggests that White try Scottsdale, Arizona for all of its golf courses. White: “That’s a little too close to the border.” Chris Jericho comes in so White leaves, allowing Bischoff to thank Jericho for standing up to him last week. Jericho has an idea of how to stick it to Cena: a BATTLE OF THE BANDS next week! So we’re getting concerts and the Divas in one week? And this is their BEST idea of how to draw an audience?

Shawn Michaels isn’t worried about Hulk Hogan being here tonight. He gave the fans what they wanted by having Hogan wrestle one more match so now let’s see what Hogan has.

Masterlock Challenge for $20,000, Rosey accepts and loses, Masters says it doesn’t matter how big you are, Big Show comes out, Masters turns it down, takes about seven minutes total.

Edge isn’t worried about facing Kane in a cage tonight but it’s going to keep all of the other psychotic losers out. He has spent the last six months listening to geeks on keyboards telling them how to live their lives and that’s CENSORED. Of note: Edge refers to Lita as his girlfriend, meaning the whole engagement deal is over. So much for trying the wedding again.

Here is Hulk Hogan to respond to Shawn Michaels’ challenge from last week. We pause for the long form Hogan chants before Hogan can thank the fans for making Hogan Knows Best the highest rated premiere ever on VH1. Last week, Shawn Michaels superkicked him to get his attention. Well now Shawn has it, but if he wants an answer to his challenge, come see him face to face.

Cue Shawn to apologize for stealing just a bit of Hulk’s thunder, but that’s what he’s all about. He would get in the ring to join Hulk but if he did, we would have to wait another two weeks for Hogan to wake up from some more Sweet Chin Music. Shawn has heard people promising to end Hulkamania for years but it has never happened.

So what makes Shawn different? Then it hit him: he has never faced someone with the unbridled passion that Shawn possesses. No one has taken Hogan to that other level because everyone falls prey to the myth of Hulkamania. Shawn doesn’t see it though and thinks if Hogan accepts the challenge, he’s going in there with the main event, the icon and the showstopper.

Hogan talks about paying the price in this business WAY before Shawn started wrestling. When Shawn was graduating high school, Hogan was selling out the Philadelphia Spectrum. The challenge is accepted for Summerslam and Hogan hits the catchphrases. This wasn’t very good, as Hogan vs. Michaels isn’t exactly a match that needs a big, epic story. It kinds of sells itself and they would have been better going in that direction.

Jericho gives the lumberjacks a pep talk, encouraging them to get a little physical with Cena if they’re given the chance.

Kane vs. Edge

In a cage with Lita at ringside. Hold on though as Matt Hardy jumps the barricade before the match and tries to get at Edge but security takes him down. Edge even gets in a kick to the ribs and a lot of beeping ensues. We’re joined in progress with Kane cutting off an escape attempt but getting taken down with the Edgecution. This time it’s only good for two as Kane is right back up with the uppercut and side slam.

Edge is back up to catch Kane on top and they slug it out until Edge hits a spear against the cage. A splash against the cage makes it worse but Edge still has time for a quick kiss from Lita. Kane is busted open a bit but he’s fine enough to throw Edge face first into the cage. There’s another side slam and the top rope clothesline connects, giving us a very bloody smile. Edge tries to get out over the top, earning himself a crotching on the rope.

A running big boot sends Edge head first into the cage again but a low blow breaks up a chokeslam attempt. Another attempt at a climb is countered with a hard powerbomb for two but Edge sends him into the cage again. The spear gets two so Edge crawls to the door, only to get pulled right back in. Lita slips him the briefcase but it’s a chokeslam to put them both down. Kane goes up, leaving his back open for some briefcase shots. A big briefcase shot to the head lets Edge climb out for the win.

Rating: C. They hit each other a lot, they did their signature stuff, and there was no reason to believe that Kane was ever going to win. As soon as Matt Hardy showed up again, Kane became obsolete in this feud, which isn’t much of a fall as he was hardly a big deal for Edge over the last few weeks. Just get on to Matt so Kane can do something else.

Smackdown Rebound.

Maria asks John Cena if he’s worried about fallen trees in his lumberjack match. Cena makes penis references and asks Maria to go get his flannel shirt. Maria leaves and after a confused face from Cena, he makes some gay jokes about Bischoff and Jericho and promises to be violent.

Next week: a Battle of the Bands and Edge vs. Kane in a stretcher match. Why? Well what else are they going to do?

John Cena vs. Snitsky

Non-title lumberjack match. Snitsky gets smart (I’m surprised too) by sending Cena outside for the short form beating. Cena sends him outside for a change and it’s exactly what you would expect. Back in and Cena hits a backdrop, only to be sent outside again for a second beating. Cena is so annoyed that he dives outside again and tries his luck but gets sent into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Cena in a cobra clutch after another beating during the commercial. A spinebuster puts Cena down again but he starts the comeback, only to get pulled outside by Jericho. That means some rams into various things so Snitsky can hit another cobra clutch. Cena comes back again but has to deal with Jericho, meaning it’s a heck of a clothesline to give Snitsky two.

The chinlock goes on so Cena comes back AGAIN, this time with Kurt Angle running in to break it up while the referee is distracted. The lumberjacks beat Cena up again to give Snitsky two so Cena grabs a DDT. Cue Shelton Benjamin and Big Show to lead the charge of some good guys to go after the lumberjacks. With everyone else gone, Cena FU’s Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: D-. They could have shaved off ten minutes or so from this and done almost the same thing. Cena was trying as hard as he could here but Snitsky’s peak ring time is about four minutes. I’m not sure how many times they did the same sequences (lumberjack beatdown, rest hold, Cena gets cut off by interferences) but they had me running out of patience in a hurry. Really boring match that felt even longer than it was.

Jericho is stunned to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show was a really weak effort as they seemed to be repeating almost everything (Carlito vs. Shelton, Striker vs. Angle, the Diva Search, Kane vs. Edge) and nothing was worth seeing. It was almost like they took the week off here and the last half was really hard to sit through. This was one of the weakest shows they’ve had in a long time and I don’t particularly want to see how bad next week is going to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2005
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re a week removed from the earth shattering split of Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan, whose friendship dated back all of two months (with about six weeks off in the middle). Tonight we start the build towards what is almost guaranteed to be a big time Summerslam match, but there is one more important thing to deal with: one of the interchangeable women in the Diva Search is going home! Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shawn superkicking Hogan last week. It may not be the best angle but that really is a dream match and a battle of the generations.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Carlito to start things off with Carlito’s Cabana. Everyone is talking about Carlito and his show and last week, his guest was Hulk Hogan himself. Carlito knows that the fans want answers so here is his guest this week: Shawn Michaels. Well that would be the case if Shawn had turned Canadian, started wearing sunglasses and become Chris Jericho. Carlito isn’t sure what is going on but offers to let Jericho sit back and have an apple.

Jericho isn’t having that because he’s on a roll right now and therefore should be running this show. It’s time to clear things up a bit, meaning Jericho wants the Jeritron 5000 down here so it can be the Highlight Reel. Jericho tries to bring out Shawn instead, but Carlito cuts it off and says Jericho is too fat to be the host of this show. Love handles are NOT cool you see. Jericho calls him gordo and dubs himself Chris Canadian Cool. He refers to Carlito as Sideshow Bob and knows Shawn doesn’t want to be on an amateur talk show like this one. Shawn would want to be on Johnny Carson’s show, not Carson Daly’s.

Jericho tells Shawn to get out here right now but it’s RODDY PIPER instead. Roddy takes us further into the past by calling Carlito Buckwheat before saying that tonight, Shawn is in Piper’s Pit. So we just spent nearly fifteen minutes arguing which talk show someone is going to be on. Shouldn’t the bigger issue be why we have so many talk shows?

Video on the Asian tour.

Chris Masters vs. Tajiri

Fallout from Tajiri misting him two weeks ago. Masters jumps him at the bell to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Tajiri kicks his way out of trouble and the handspring kick to the face puts Masters on the floor. The ECW chants start up as Tajiri kicks him down for two more. A tornado DDT is blocked so Tajiri kicks him in the head for another two instead. The Tarantula is countered into a faceplant and the Masterlock finishes Tajiri.

Rating: D+. Tajiri’s kicks are always worth a look/listen but what else were you looking for here? Masters is just so boring and there is no way around it. It isn’t helping that he has been around here for months now and his big win is over Tajiri. They haven’t done him any favors and it’s getting less interesting every week.

Gene Snitsky comes in to see Edge and Lita as they are watching their wedding video. After a few highlights, Edge asks Snitsky some help with Kane tonight. In exchange, Snitsky can have Lita’s…..feet. He tries to suck her toes as a preview but that’s too far for Edge and Lita. Snitsky has to complete his mission first and then they’re all his. I REALLY don’t want to know who came up with this but I do want whoever it was to stay far away from the writing room.

We see HHH being taken out of the Cell two weeks ago.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Carlito is defending after having beaten Shelton in back to back title matches. Shelton punches him down to start and a suplex gets two. The dropkick is good for the same but Carlito is back with his own dropkick. Shelton is right back up though, meaning it’s time for Carlito to take a breather.

Back from a break with Shelton fighting out of a chinlock so Carlito sends him outside in a heap. The LET’S GO SHELTON chants get on Carlito’s nerves so he stomps away and grabs another chinlock. With that broken up, Carlito chokes away on the ropes for a good bit instead. The third chinlock goes on, which really shouldn’t be the case in a match that has been going for ten minutes.

Shelton finally gets up so Carlito DDTs him right back down for two. A suplex is reversed into a neckbreaker for two on Carlito and Shelton’s backbreaker gets the same. Carlito grabs a rollup with trunks for two, followed by a superplex for the same. That kickout is a bit too much for Carlito so he grabs the title, only to get caught with a Samoan drop. Shelton grabs him by the hair and they fight over a suplex to the floor. A kick to the head sends Carlito outside again…and he’ll just take the countout to retain.

Rating: D+. Too many chinlocks in a short match can hut things a good bit, as can just walking out to retain the title. That being said, it does fit Carlito so it doesn’t come out of nowhere. I’m not sure how this warranted a trilogy either, but odds are we’re going to see it again soon and that isn’t exactly appealing.

John Cena and Eric Bischoff are arguing in the back.

Here is Cena for a chat so we’ll start with the sucking up to the crowd. He’s glad to be here but hang on because we need some cheer soaking. Now though, Cena needs to worry about Y2 Cheap, who was talking about beating Cena up last week. That’s not how Cena remembers it though because Jericho believes he can take the title anytime.

Cue Bischoff, who doesn’t seem happy about….well anything really. Bischoff shrugs off the fans and says Cena will defend the title whenever Bischoff says so. Cena really doesn’t like that tone and thinks he’s being provoked but here’s Jericho to interrupt. Bischoff calms things down in a hurry and gives Jericho the Summerslam title shot. As you might expect, Jericho is rather pleased and calls Cena a thug.

That’s too far for Cena, as tends to be the case for him. Jericho cuts him off and says that he’ll be the biggest star in WWE and sell EVEN MORE RECORDS. Cena knows Jericho is looking forward to living off the cheap sauce in cheap land but he’d rather fight right now. That’s a no, but Jericho does promise to win the title. With Jericho gone, Cena gives Bischoff the AA to blow off some steam (Bischoff holding the mic and begging until he hit the ground was great). It was a good exchange, though Jericho doesn’t exactly come off like a major challenge to the title here.

It’s time for the first Diva Search elimination. That would be Alexis, who is actually a pretty blonde if you can believe that. With that out of the way, it’s time for a talent competition and egads take me now.

Ashley has been training to wrestle so she monkey flips Christy Hemme.

Leyla has to wait for the referee who prevented her wardrobe malfunction last week because she wants to dance for him. As expected, it ends in a low blow.

Summer backflips into the splits, and then does it again because it took about five seconds out of sixty.

Krystal, who is dressed as a French painter, including a mustache, pulls off her clothes to reveal a swimsuit and then pours paint over herself so she can roll around on some paper.

Elizabeth dances, albeit with a police theme so she handcuffs Christy to the ropes and spanks her.

Simona pulls out a sword and gyrates in front of Coach.

Cameron gives Christy a lap dance. Christy: “I think she’s done that a few times.” Coach: “Christy I think you’ve done that a few times.”

Every time I think that they’ve hit the all time low point of wasting time, we get something like this. Sweet goodness this was AWFUL as they continue to manage to make good looking women in little clothing feel worthless.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the debut of the Kurt Angle Invitational on Raw. He explains the rules (three minute time limit, the opponent only has to survive to win the gold medal) and brings out this week’s opponent: Matt Striker, a former teacher who called in sick to be able to go wrestle. Angle has already beaten him once in Philadelphia (in February), though Striker says he’s from New York here. Angle: “Man you lie a lot!”

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Striker

Feeling out process to start until Angle takes him down into a Fujiwara armbar. Angle uppercuts him in the corner and hits a hard belly to back suplex as we hit the halfway point. Striker gets in some right hands but walks into an overhead belly to belly. The straps come down but Striker sends him shoulder first into the post with less than a minute to go. Angle gets back in with about twenty seconds left so Striker hammers away in the corner. A low blow has Angle in trouble but he picks the ankle and makes Striker tap with a second left. I knew the ending and they had me wondering how they were going to pull it off. That takes talent.

Kane laughs at the idea of getting to face Edge.

Edge and Lita are on the way to the ring when MATT HARDY runs in from behind him and gets in a few shots. The fans take a second to realize who it is but then go nuts when they figure it out. Lita screams at Matt, who stares back at her but then runs out the door when security shows up. This was a heck of an angle and one of the best bits of shock value I’ve seen from them in months.

The Boogeyman is coming as the generation’s cast continues to grow.

Kane vs. Edge

The fans start chanting for Hardy as Kane hammers away in the corner. Edge manages to send him outside for some forearms to the back but Kane gets in an uppercut. The fans are still gung ho for Matt, even as Kane hits the good looking side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline but Kane goes after Lita, drawing in Snitsky for the DQ.

Kane and Snitsky brawl into the crowd and it’s Matt running in from the other side to go after Edge. They brawl a bit until referees break it up with Matt heading to the floor. Matt calls Edge a b****** and Lita a w**** before saying something about Ring of Honor until security takes him down. I’m not sure I would have done both segments in one night but DANG this worked and felt like the first must see angle in a long time.

We look at Shawn turning on Hogan again.

Here’s Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pit to wrap things up. He doesn’t waste any time with wacky references before bringing Shawn out for the explanation. Piper asks why Shawn did it last week and hands him the mic for the explanation (alas without a congratulation because turning on Hogan would be a very Piper thing). Shawn talks about spending twenty years trying to give the fans something to remember. No one has left them with more Wrestlemania memories than him or had a bigger impact on the direction of this industry than he has.

Back at the Hall of Fame, Shawn heard the ONE MORE MATCH chants so he knew what he had to do. Shawn sacrificed himself to give the fans what they want. Now he knows Hogan will have one more match and…..pause for the HOGAN chants….that Hogan will be immortal, but Shawn sees it differently. In this instance, perception is not reality because at Summerslam, it’s Shawn vs. Hogan. At Summerslam, Shawn will prove that immortality has a price.

Piper still wants to know WHY though because Shawn can’t fool him. It was the fans who made him a four time World Champion. Piper remembers Shawn asking him for advice when he was coming up and Piper told him how to make the main event because Shawn was worth it.

Now though, Piper is ashamed of him and wants to know why Shawn threw everything away. Shawn says he’s given his answer and is ready to go but Piper says get back in here. Piper says Shawn is a coward so there’s the superkick, allowing Shawn to go into serious mode. The slow walk up the ramp ends the show. This didn’t give a very detailed explanation but I’ll take something like this over “I don’t owe you a thing” every day.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a show where the angles carried things but there was only so much they could do to get around Snitsky’s foot fetish, the Diva Search thing and a bunch of matches that felt like nothing more than filler material. The angles kept things going well enough, but they need to fix up the rest of the show if they really want things to work. The Hardy thing was outstanding though and exactly what they were looking for, as well as something the show needed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 20, 2005
Location: American West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Vengeance is on Sunday and that means it’s time for the final push towards what is looking like a stacked show. There are already several major matches set for the show and that means we should be in for a heck of a card once we get there. That is Sunday though and we need one more final push to get there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena thinks this place is like the wild wild west and he liked the sound of something like that. If Christian and Chris Jericho want a shot at the WWE Championship, Cena completely gets it because this is what matters most. As for tonight, Jericho needs to get out here and take a beating personally. He hasn’t forgotten about Christian either so let’s do it right now.

Instead here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari, with JR thinking they aren’t Christian and Jericho. Hassan can’t believe that Cena has anything to complain about because the people here in Phoenix welcomed him with open arms. Last week he was screwed out of the Intercontinental Title and he deserves some respect.

Cena makes fun of his whining and suggests that Daivari gives him some special spankings. Cena: “These people don’t hate you because you’re Arab American. They hate you because you’re a****** American.” The challenge is thrown out for tonight and Eric Bischoff shows up to make it a title match. Cena is ready to go right now and I think you know how that is going to go.

We look at Lita filing for divorce from Kane, setting up her wedding to Edge tonight.

Bischoff is in the ring to introduce the newest Draft pick: Carlito. Before we get to that though, Bischoff brings out Shelton Benjamin, who was a big deal in last year’s Draft. Shelton has been Intercontinental Champion since October but he beat a champion who didn’t know who he was going to face. That’s what Shelton is going to do tonight, against the new Draft pick.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Shelton is defending and has to fight out of the corner to start. That’s enough to send Carlito outside for a breather so Shelton tries the big running flip dive but catches his foot to make him crash hard, with Carlito just getting underneath him for the save. Back from a break with Shelton fighting out of a chinlock, only to get punched back down. Shelton finally manages a double clothesline for the double knockdown.

The comeback is on with a backdrop and the top rope clothesline gets two. Shelton is a little shaken up from the crash earlier so Carlito plants him with a DDT. It doesn’t do much harm as he goes up top and hits a super sunset flip for two, followed by a Samoan drop for a rather weak cover. Carlito is right back with a rollup though and a grab of the rope is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t exactly impressed here but they told a story and got enough of a match out of things. I’m still not wild on Carlito and that was a heck of a way to just drop Shelton’s lengthy title reign. They did make sure to protect him a bit, but he should be moving up to the World Title scene now, which isn’t happening with Cena around.

Maria asks Carlito how he won and he says he pinned Shelton. He’ll be the greatest Intercontinental Champion WWE has ever seen. But first, he spits some apple on Maria.

Viscera vs. Simon Dean

Lilian is VERY pleased to handle Viscera’s…..introduction. Simon rips on Viscera for his weight (Dean: “Who do you think you are? Hugh Hefner?”) and gets in a few shots to the leg to start. He stops to show off for Lilian a bit though and the destruction is quick, capped off by the Visagra and the chokebomb.

Post match Lilian gets in the ring and says they have been moving fast. She wants to go faster though and on Sunday, he might hit the jackpot in Vegas. Kissing ensues.

Another look at the Raw Diva Search process. I believe this is the same video from last time.

Chris Jericho is ready to get his title shot and doesn’t care if the fans are annoyed with him. The only reason Cena’s albums are doing better than Fozzy’s are because Cena is the champ of course. Christian comes in to suggest that Hassan might win the title tonight, but Jericho always overlooks people. Like he overlooked Christian at Wrestlemania XX. Jericho can want to go platinum but Christian is going gold on Sunday.

Video on HHH’s history in the Cell.

Bischoff is worried when Kurt Angle comes in. Kurt brags about beating Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania and promises to make him tap again on Sunday. This time though, the win is dedicated to Bischoff.

And now, Edge and Lita are getting married. Edge is rather swanky in his black cowboy hat, leather pants, cane, skull and crossbones tie and briefcase. Lita on the other hand is basically wearing most of a sheet (Lawler heartily approves). JR: “Her shoulder tattoo matches her shoes.” The YOU SCREWED Matt chants start up and we get a video on their very speedy romance.

The minister has to stop various things from happening and says a rather large man has insisted on coming down to say something. That would be Snitsky, with a sleeveless tuxedo. It isn’t his fault that they fell in love and it’s not his fault that things went in this direction, just like it isn’t his fault that Kane can’t get in his erection. Snitsky: “It’s not my fault that you had a dead baby in your uterus.”

They read their vows, including Edge saying that he is Mr. Money in the Sack and not a big bald monster. Lita on the other hand says she has never been in love with anyone before and doesn’t care about what the people say. Lita: “I am proud to be the s*** of the century.” The minister says the big line of speak now or forever hold your peace and you can see Edge and Lita get worried.

Matt Hardy’s music hits and Jim Ross does his shocked voice….but no one is here because Edge and Lita can have some fun with us too. The minister is ready to marry them in the name of the…..and here’s Kane through the ring to break things up. Edge throws the minister at Kane and runs off with Lita. The set is destroyed and Kane Tombstones the minister to add to his scrapbook. Edge and Lita are terrified with Edge’s facials being great as always. This had some great moments, with Snitsky’s lines and the Matt Hardy tease being outstanding.

Post break, Kane says he is back.

Christy Hemme looks back at Victoria attacking her three weeks ago and then jumping Victoria in retaliation. Victoria makes her blood boil and Christy wants to rip her head off. Cue Victoria to break something made of glass over her back. Victoria leaves and there is a lot of blood coming from the back of Christy’s head.

Post break, Christy is loaded into an ambulance and can’t remember her name. This has been your filler as they reset the ring.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Muhammad Hassan

Cena is defending. It’s another fast start with a running clothesline putting Hassan on the floor. Daivari gets knocked down as well but he grabs Cena’s feet so Hassan can stomp away. Hassan gets a few twos off boots and a suplex but Cena is right back with the clotheslines. The ProtoBomb and the Shuffle set up the FU to give Hassan his first pinfall loss in less than two minutes. Well that came out of nowhere, but Cena gets more fuel in his rocket.

Post match Christian and Jericho jump Cena on the ramp and the beatdown is on.

During the break, Christian gets out as fast as he can.

Here are the Diva Search finalists: Leyla, Ashley, Kristal, Cameron, Elisabeth, Alexis, Summer and Simona. They’re all good looking and we find out where they’re from. I’m not sure what else there is to say here.

Batista vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Batista elbows his way out of a waistlock to start and hits the shoulders in the corner. Angle is right back with an early ankle lock but that’s broken up with straight power. The missed charge sends Batista shoulder first into the post though and it’s off to a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up with a side slam and Batista clotheslines him to the floor, so it’s HHH and Ric Flair running in to jump Batista for the DQ. That would be their only singles match ever.

Shawn, save, Bischoff, tag.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. Kurt Angle/HHH

Joined in progress with Shawn and HHH slugging it out until Shawn hits the flying forearm. Angle tries to come in so Flair sneaks in to chop Shawn’s block. Another distraction lets Flair wrap the knee around the post and Angle slaps on a Brock Lock. The villains take turns on the knee and it’s an STF to stay on the leg. A belly to back suplex gets Shawn out of trouble for all of three seconds as it’s back to HHH to drop elbows to the leg.

The WOO looks to set up a Figure Four but HHH gets kicked into the buckle. That’s enough for the hot tag to Batista and hammering ensues. Everything breaks down with Angle being sent to the floor so Shawn can throw him over the barricade. They fight into the crowd, leaving Batista to hit the spinebuster (JR: “That rattled my Oklahoma hat!”) but a Flair distraction lets HHH get the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C-. The announcers act like this is some monumental pin and while it is a big deal to have Batista get pinned, I still need a long break from HHH in the title picture. That really needs to come sooner rather than later and just after Sunday would be as good of a time as any.

HHH talks trash and replays take us out.

Overall Rating: C. This was quite the oddball show with stuff like the Hassan loss and the title change coming out of nowhere. They’re not necessarily bad, but when you seem to be going in a direction and then switch gears out of nowhere, it can be a little jarring. The wedding was entertaining and I can go with some build towards Vengeance, but Shawn and Angle didn’t get any significant time to themselves. But hey, at least we got to see the next round of women who stand around backstage for the next few years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

On the other side of the company, the Smackdown main event is Kane defending his Smackdown World Title against Edge. Kane cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase an hour or so after winning it to take the title from Rey Mysterio. He would then turn heel on Undertaker and defeat him in multiple pay per view matches. The next challenger is Edge, who gets his first shot tonight. Let’s get to it.

The usual opening video is the video that opens us. The idea tonight is Cena not wanting to compromise his integrity and give the title to Barrett when he doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t want to quit. A song about being what you believe makes for appropriate background music.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is challenging here because he wants to win his first singles title. Simple but effective I guess. Bryan has Rise of the Valkyries as his new music here but the lack of beard hurts. Maryse is with Ted here too and is rocking a beige dress. Bryan speeds things up to start and there go the lights. Daniel dropkicks DiBiase to the apron but as he goes to get Ted, Bryan gets suplexed out to the floor in a cool bump.

Back in and Bryan fires off the kicks. DiBiase hooks a chinlock to slow the champ down followed by a backbreaker and dropkick for two. Back to the chinlock as the fans are way into Bryan here. This one doesn’t last as long as Bryan fights up and speeds up the pace. There’s the moonsault out of the corner and a dropkick to send DiBiase to the floor. Bryan hits the suicide dive to the floor but he comes up favoring his shoulder.

They head back in and Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two and it’s time for more kicks. The LeBell (YES) Lock can’t go on because of the bad shoulder though and DiBiase clotheslines him down. Dream Street from DiBiase is countered twice so Ted hits a sitout spinebuster for two. DiBiase’s superplex is countered a belly to back superplex by Bryan but he still can’t get the LeBell Lock. A rollup gets two for Ted and Bryan grabs the arm for the LeBell Lock to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like an extended Smackdown match but that’s not a bad thing. Bryan was still a pretty big underdog in a lot of his matches at this point but wins like this were exactly what he needed. DiBiase never got over in this role or really in any other either. He’s a guy who would never do a ton in WWE as he was in his father’s shadow and it crippled his career. A simple name change could have done wonders for him.

As Bryan poses on the stage, Miz and Alex Riley (NXT season 2 rookie and Miz’s lackey) jump him with Miz’s Money in the Bank case. Miz and Riley get in the ring but the lights go out again. Miz talks about how he’s from Cleveland and doesn’t like the Miami Heat that much. He compares Barrett to LeBron James because neither will ever be a World Champion. The fans chant for the Heat and Miz says he’ll cash in soon. That’s true actually.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison. Sheamus is a bully, Morrison is sick of him and that’s about it.

Sheamus says Morrison is jealous of him for being a former and future World Champion because Morrison never will reach that level.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Jerry tells a story of a guy in high school that kept taking everyone’s lunch money and picking on everyone he could but no one ever stood up to him. Striker: “Was his name Judas?” Jerry: “Actually it was Jerry Lawler.” Your lesson for the day kids: beat up other kids and treat them like trash and you could be a multiple time World Champion, get a job on national TV every week and get into the WWE Hall of Fame.

Cole says Morrison described this match as a tank against a fighter jet. Cole: “Of course Morrison the jet and Sheamus the tank.” Thanks Michael. Morrison starts fast and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor followed by a corkscrew dive to take the pale one out. Sheamus sends him into the barricade and runs Morrison over with an ax handle.

Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans aren’t all that into Sheamus. A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and it’s back to a chinlock again, although this one has an armbar added as a bonus feature. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest from a seated position instead of in the ropes. It’s always cool to see the evolution of a move like that. Sheamus puts him on the top and pounds away again but Morrison slugs Sheamus down to the mat. A cross body gets rolled through for two for Sheamus and John is in trouble.

The Brogue Kick misses and Morrison enziguris him down. Morrison is all fired up and hits some clotheslines for two but it’s hard to keep Sheamus off his feat. Irish Curse stops the momentum but it only gets two again. The High Cross is countered into a Russian legsweep to give Johnny a near fall. Sheamus goes after the knee to stop Morrison again. This match really is as back and forth as it sounds. No one has had an extended advantage for the most part.

Sheamus puts the leg over his shoulder and pulls Morrison forward to the mat in a cool looking move that I haven’t seen before. Half crab does more damage for Sheamus but he slaps Morrison in the face a few times to tick him off. John kicks him down but Starship Pain is broken up with ease. The High Cross is countered again and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Morrison to hit the Flying Chuck and a running knee to the face for the surprise pin.

Rating: B-. These two always have this freakish chemistry that really doesn’t make a ton of sense but is always there. Morrison’s flying style was a great compliment to the power stuff from Sheamus and as usual the idea of power vs. speed works as well as anything else. Morrison would never hit a level that they were hoping for him to, while Sheamus would go on to win another World Title at Wrestlemania in a few years. You never know what might happen in wrestling, which is why it’s fun to watch.

R-Truth continues to meddle in Cena’s business and offers to interfere in the main event tonight because you can only win by pin or submission. He offers to attack Orton and Cena will be guilt free. Cena yells at him for suggesting it.

Intercontinental Title: Kaval vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kaval is more famous as Low Ki and won NXT Season 2 to get any title shot he wanted. In his first win, he beat Dolph on Smackdown and picked to challenge for this title tonight. You can see the writing on the wall for him from here. A quick elbow gets two so Dolph takes over with a forearm in the corner. There’s the Hennig neck snap and a mini AA for two for Dolph. A handspring elbow takes Dolph down and Kaval pounds away in the corner until a Vickie distraction lets Dolph take him down.

Kaval comes back with a handspring into an awesome kick to the face in the corner. Kaval goes up with his back to the ring, allowing Dolph to put on a sleeper on the top rope for some reason. Dolph gets knocked back and Kaval misses a big flip dive, allowing Dolph to hit the Fameasser for two. The sleeper gets slapped on again (on the mat this time) but Kaval escapes and is launched to the top rope where he springs off and hits a spin kick to the face in ANOTHER awesome looking move. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two before Ziggler gets a rollup of his own with tights to retain.

Rating: C-. Kaval tried here but this crippled whatever he had as far as momentum was going. He would be gone before the end of the year and I can’t say I blame him. The match here was ok enough but the chemistry didn’t click at all. Also, why would you pick a match for the Intercontinental Title when you can pick whatever you want?

Jack Swagger doesn’t like the idea about being on Team Del Rio, because it should be Team Swagger. Jack says some stuff about the Spanish being spoken here because he doesn’t habla Espanol. Rhodes, who is still Dashing at this point (a gimmick where he was obsessed with self grooming and looking great), comes up and makes fun of Swagger’s shoes. Del Rio says that he won a bet about Swagger getting interrupted. This goes nowhere.

Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio

Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio, Chris Masters, Big Show, MVP, Kofi Kingston

Alberto is the big newcomer here and Mysterio was his first target. Team Mysterio is all in blue for a nice touch. Reks is a decent sized guy with a beard and nothing all that unique about him. Masters is very muscular and that’s about the extent of his character. The fans chant for MVP as he’s the hometown boy.

The captains start things off but there’s no contact as Del Rio tags in Rhodes. We start talking about baseball (Striker: “Rickey Henderson may be the greatest baseball player of all time.” Cole and Lawler: “WHAT???”) as Rey hooks an O’Connor Roll for two on Cody. Cody comes back with a Disaster kick and stomps away in the corner.

Here’s Del Rio again but he gets caught in the corner and hit by a hard running dropkick. Off to MVP who hits a dropkick and ducks an enziguri in the corner. This was right around the time when he was getting good, but he would be gone in less than three weeks. That’s wrestling for you. Here’s Kofi with some bouncing offense but it’s quickly off to Masters. Lawler does his usual talk about the Clowns vs. Kings back in 94 as Reks and McIntyre take turns beating on Masters.

Drew’s middle rope jumps lands on a boot and Masters can tag in MVP. MVP suplexes McIntyre down and hits the Ballin Elbow, only to fall victim to the Ultimate Warrior/Rick Rude ending from Wrestlemania V (MVP suplexes Drew but Alberto hooks MVP’s foot and Drew falls on top for a pin). Masters comes back in again and hits a kind of Jackhammer for two. Del Rio avoids the Masterlock and puts on the Armbreaker for the submission to make it 5-3.

Here’s Big Show as the stopper for his team and Del Rio bails, bringing in Swagger. Jack tries to wrestle him down and is immediately chopped in the chest. A kind of chop block takes Show down and it’s back to Del Rio. Show glares at him again and Alberto tags out to Drew, but before Alberto gets out Show knocks him out cold. With McIntyre down, Show slams Kofi down onto Drew for a two count. Apparently Alberto can’t continue and is eliminated. Cody comes in to face Kingston and Rhodes snaps when he gets hit in the face. He goes on a rant and heads to the floor to check the mirror on the back of his jacket.

Rhodes heads back in and gets hit in the face again. Off to Show who slaps Cody on the back and the KO punch makes it 3-3. It’s Kofi/Rey/Show vs. Reks/Swagger/McIntyre and Reks immediately clotheslines Show down in an impressive move. Swagger comes in to work on the leg and hooks the ankle lock. After nearly tapping, Show crawls over to Rey for the saving tag. Rey speeds things up but Jack kicks his head off for two.

Swagger drills Kofi on the apron before catching Rey’s 619 into the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls through the hold and makes the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house and hits the top rope cross body for two on Reks. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. After Kofi gets down, Reks charges into a double boot in the corner for the fast elimination. Swagger comes in almost immediately and catches Trouble in Paradise into the ankle lock to tie things back up.

Back to Big Show who uses that large body of his to run Swagger over a few times before Swagger has to lay down so Rey and Show can do the on the shoulders splash. McIntyre breaks up the big splash though and Rey is down. Rey gets placed on the top rope but headbutts Jack down to the mat. The 619 sets up that splash off Show’s shoulders to make it 2-1. Future Shock is countered and it’s a chokeslam from Show for the final elimination.

Rating: B-. This was a fine Survivor Series match with both teams working well together. I don’t get the point in having Del Rio eliminated that early, but it allows for Rey vs. Del Rio to happen later on. The match wasn’t a classic but it worked well enough for what it was supposed to be. Decent stuff here and the fans were happy with the ending.

Randy Orton talks about how he’s tired of hearing all of the talk about Cena and Barrett, because tonight it’s either the RKO or the Punt to stop Barrett.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

Handicap match. Laycool are the co-champions here as both have belts in a story that wasn’t that interesting in the first place. The champs have to tag here and it’s Michelle to start. Natalya takes it to the mat early on and Michelle actually takes over with the amateur stuff. Off to the hometown heel in Layla who distracts the referee so Michelle can pull Natalya onto the floor.

Back in and Natalya suplexes both girls at once but her back is hurt in the process. Michelle blasts her in said back on the floor, but Natalya shoves Michelle over the barricade. They all brawl at ringside for a bit before Natalya and Michelle head into the ring. McCool gets rammed into Layla and the Sharpshooter gives Natalya the title.

Rating: D. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Natalya beat up Layla, then Natalya beat up Michelle, then Natalya beat up both of them at once. This wasn’t much of a match but it’s the kind of breather that you have to give the fans before you get to the big stuff later on. Laycool would be around for a few more months but once they split, they fell off the face of the earth.

Beth Phoenix returns to save Natalya from a double beatdown. This would set up a Divas tables match next month.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. Kane beat Undertaker in the Cell when Paul Bearer shocked no one and turned on the Dead Man. Edge got this shot for being on a hot streak, which is a rare thing in modern wrestling. Edge also kidnapped Bearer and tortured him but hasn’t returned him yet.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Kane is defending here. Edge wheels out with an empty wheelchair (representing Paul Bearer) to mess with Kane a bit more. Kane tries a quick chokeslam but Edge punches out of it. Kane sends him to the floor and Edge wheels the chair around a bit more to make Kane mad. A baseball slide sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside where the Canadian takes out the Spaniard’s leg. He wraps the leg around the post and lays on it as the fans aren’t all that interested yet.

Kane gets in an uppercut to take over and slugs away slowly. The champion chokes away and yells about Bearer a bit as the fans still aren’t into the match. To really mix things up, Kane puts on a cravate and yells even more. A low dropkick gets two for the champion and it’s back to the trusty cravate. Edge finally gets up and hits a cross body off the top for two.

Kane slugs him down but Edge dropkicks him out of the air on the top rope clothesline attempt. A side slam gets two for Kane and he goes up again. Edge makes the stop but gets crotched and clotheslined down for two. Something resembling a DDT puts Kane down but Edge’s spear hits boot. There’s the chokeslam for two so Kane tries the Tombstone. Edge slips down the back and spears Kane down for the pin and no title, because all four shoulders were down and it’s a draw.

Rating: F+. The ending until the cover wasn’t bad, but other than that this was dull, slow and horrible. These two just did not work well together at all, so of course they had another title match on PPV. Horrible match here as Kane just stood around and held Edge by the neck for LONG stretches of time. Kane would accidentally kill Paul Bearer soon after this in a stupid segment.

Kane beats up Edge post match. Edge comes back and puts Kane in the wheelchair and sends him through part of the barricade.

Barrett tells Cena if he doesn’t help him tonight, Cena is gone. Cena says he knows what he’s going to do.

Tag Team Titles: Nexus vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella

Nexus is represented by Heath Slater (a country boy) and Justin Gabriel (a South African high flier). Slater and Gabriel are the champions here and have the rest of Nexus with them. Santino and Slater start things off and Marella gets to use some of the martial arts that Kozlov has been teaching him. Off to Gabriel and Kozlov who tags himself in. Remember that two years ago, Kozlov was in the World Title match against HHH and now he’s here. That’s quite the fall. Gabriel dives at Kozlov and gets caught in a kind of spinebuster to give the challengers control.

Gabriel gets in a kick to take Kozlov down and Slater drops a knee for two. Back to Justin for a cravate (really popular move tonight) and then a front facelock. Kozlov is about to get to Santino when Slater draws Marella in illegally. That’s some good old school tag stuff there and it’s awesome. Slater hooks a front facelock of his own but it’s a hot tag to Santino. He hits all of his usual stuff and loads up the Cobra, but the other members of Nexus distract him and Slater hits the sleeper drop for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here that wouldn’t be on Raw on any given week. The Tag Team Titles were absolutely nothing at this point but then again that could go for any show for a good six year stretch or so. The match was fine but it was another breather for the fans, who have had quite a few tonight

Post match the challengers get beaten down again and the Anonymous Raw GM (exactly what it sounds like) says if Nexus interferes in the World Title match, they’re suspended indefinitely.

We recap Orton vs. Barrett. Barrett got the title shot through winning NXT and got Cena to join Nexus through winning at Hell in a Cell. Cena hates it but Barrett made him the guest referee tonight. If he screws Orton over, he won’t be able to live with himself, but if he doesn’t screw Orton over, Barrett will fire him. This gets the music video treatment of course.

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

You can only win by pin or submission. Feeling out process to start with Orton grabbing a headlock. A shoulder puts Barrett down and Orton fires away elbows and uppercuts in the corner. Cena finally does something and it’s correct procedure, but the fans boo because it’s against Orton. He goes the same thing to Barrett and Orton hits a dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor where Barrett hits a kick to the ribs to take over. Orton gets sent into the steps and punched down back in the ring. Barrett covers and gets a fair one count. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Orton fights back with his usual comeback stuff. The backbreaker gets two and Orton glares at Cena. Barrett gets in an uppercut and hits a top rope elbow for two.

Barrett hits his pumphandle slam for two and now Barrett glares at Cena too. This is pretty dull stuff so far. Wasteland is countered and there’s a Boss Man Slam (called a Black Hole Slam by Striker) for another close two. The fans do the usual pro/anti Cena chants as Orton hits the Elevated DDT. Barrett gets in a knee to the head and Wasteland hits but Orton grabs the rope at two. I do love how the idea that Barrett could just win the title on his own is a completely non-factor. Barrett shoves Cena so Cena shoves him back, right into the RKO and the clean pin to fire Cena. Striker: “Cena’s free!” Cole: “Cena’s fired.” Striker: “Oh.”

Rating: D. This barely worked as the focus was entirely on Cena and the match was really dull for the most part. It was someone hitting a move that would be lucky to get two and then glaring at Cena when they didn’t get a pin off of it. Cena was “fired” as a result, but would of course be back on PPV the next month. I don’t think he ever missed a Raw. I like the moment with him counting the pin because that’s him being himself which is the essence of Cena’s character, but the match sucked.

Cena has no idea what to do post match. Nexus runs in and gets beaten down by the Super Best Friends. Cena hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main events sucked but the first half or so of this was fine. The problem with the main event here is the same problem that brought down the whole Nexus angle: Barrett never won the title. Without that, Nexus and Barrett in particular weren’t really big threats but rather guys that annoyed Cena for a few months until he beat them all. Besides, the next night Miz cashed in and won the title after Cena cost Barrett another title shot. This show isn’t really worth seeing but it’s not horrible.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: C+

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Natalya vs. Laycool

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kane vs. Edge

Original: D

Redo: F+

Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked this one WAY better on first viewing. Then again I didn’t know what was coming for Nexus back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/19/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2010-when-did-orton-and-barrett-get-good/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Well this has been built up for a good while now. The main thing here is who does Cena side with: Nexus or the forces of good as it’s Free or Fired. I really don’t know what’s coming here so I’m rather excited for this. We also have a decent build to Edge vs. Kane but I don’t think it ends tonight. Kane is a step backwards now but I think he still pulls it out. On paper this is a decent show. Let’s get to it.

We open with the old school run down of the Survivor Series logos and then we shift over to Cena. Wait I’m watching this on the internet so let me get this out of the way: CZENA SUX HE ONLY KNOWZ FIVE MOVEZ! There now that that’s out of the way we can continue. The people in the LD are right: this video on Cena and Barrett is awesome. Oh and Orton is here too.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

At least Maryse looks hot. Cole is on Bryan for his music this time. Daniel goes for the arm to start which gets reversed. Some submissions master. Nice counter if nothing else and the lights go out for a second. Lawler: I like it when the lights go down. Cole: So do I since I don’t have to look at Bryan. He’s on tonight. DiBiase tries to suplex Bryan to the floor and actually get it in a nice bump.

Challenger controls and hits an elbow from the middle rope to Bryan who is laid on the apron. Think how Taker puts someone for his legdrop. I guess the lights going on for a bit made him channel his inner deadman. Bryan gets some strikes in but DiBiase just pounds him down. Dang Maryse is looking good in a nice little short dress. DiBiase gets a second rope dropkick for two.

Cole jumps down Bryan’s throat again. Apparently Johnny Rodz trained Striker. That explains a lot. Bryan speeds things up but still can’t keep momentum going as DiBiase kicks him in the face. Bryan gets a suicide dive to the floor and may have blown out a shoulder. Not sure if it’s legit or not. There’s the top rope dropkick so he’s doing on enough it seems.

Bryan gets a small package for two but DiBiase gets a clothesline so hard that Bryan backflips for two. Dream Street is countered twice but DiBiase gets a big spinebuster for two. Better match than I was expecting so far. Ted goes way up but gets crotched into a belly to back off the top. Nice job and Bryan’s shoulder is either messed up legit or he’s selling the heck out of it. That gets a nice two and here comes the LeBell Lock but it’s countered into a slingshot. And so much for that as the hold goes on and DiBiase taps.

Rating: B. Solid opener all around here. I don’t think DiBiase was a legit threat for the most part but he was fine for a challenger. This is the kind of thing I’ve been looking for more of with DiBiase giving Bryan a nice challenge but nothing he can’t handle and we got a pretty solid match out of it. What more can you ask for? Nice opener.

As Bryan is celebrating Miz pops him with the MITB case. He and Riley get in the ring and runs down the Heat (remember he’s from Cleveland) which is very true here as the Heat are just doing ok this year and have started badly all things considered. He shifts over to LeBron, saying he should go back to Cleveland. The lights go out again during this. He says he’s tired of carrying the briefcase. It’s a matter of when, not if.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison which should be good if their falls count anywhere match was any indication. Basically Morrison says Sheamus is a bully and is protecting Santino from him. Sheamus says he’s a former and future champion and Morrison is jealous.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

I’ve been looking forward to this one. Morrison starts fast of course and sends Sheamus to the floor with a dropkick, followed by a corkscrew dive over the top to the floor. And so much for that as Sheamus drills him in the head. Striker says he’s enjoying the beating here. All Sheamus for the most part here. Lawler still doesn’t like him.

Lawler talks about the size difference, prompting various jokes. Sheamus is pounding away here and is getting close to that zone of his. Middle rope suplex is blocked though and here comes Johnny Boy. Top rope cross body is rolled through into a powerslam for two. I’ve always been a fan of that counter as it’s simple yet effective. Brogue Kick misses and an enziguri puts both guys down.

Sheamus is up first and we slug it out. Nice job of being an anti-bully by punching the guy in the face. Nice thing to teach the kids there Johnny. He looks all ticked off now and goes on offense. He walks into an Irish Curse for two though. The crowd is into this show so far which is a nice touch. We get our second slingshot into the post of the night and a Russian legsweep gets two on the Irish dude.

Morrison lands on the middle rope off a catapult and Sheamus takes the knee out. Solid back and forth match so far. In a move I’ve never seen before, Sheamus puts Morrison’s leg on his shoulder like he’s going to stun it and then launches him forward just by pulling it forward. That’s a new one on me. Half crab gets Sheamus nowhere. Morrison grabs a rollup for two.

Back to the knee and Morrison is in trouble again. Morrison sends him into the corner but Sheamus gets up before Starship Pain can hit. And there’s the High Cross but it’s countered again and the Flash Kick takes down Sheamus. A running knee gets the three and the WZPC Title is in trouble.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot. Rather solid match for the most part here with both guys getting solid offense in which resulted in me not knowing who was going to win until the end. That’s the sign of a good match and it paid off here. Solid stuff again and these two have a weird chemistry together which isn’t something you can teach. I liked it.

Knucklehead stuff.

Cena is in the back and here’s R-Truth again to complain about nothing in general. He offers a solution and Cena kind of rolls his eyes. Truth offers to interfere and attack Orton which Cena shoots down. Truth doesn’t believe he’ll be fair. More or less this sounded like a heel turn promo.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Basically this is happening because Kaval got his first win over Ziggler on Smackdown and is using his win of his choice. Cole runs Kaval down of course. Vickie does her usual thing. Kaval has some slightly new tights here. And so does Ziggler. Kaval kicks a lot to start and in other news I’m watching wrestling. A snap mare gets one. Who covers after a freaking snap mare?

Ziggler gets some basic grappling to take down Kaval. Striker wants Vickie and Kaitlyn. He must be hardcore. Handspring into a cross body (think Tajiri) gets two for Kaval. Vickie distracts Kaval and down he goes. The title has never changed hands in Miami. I don’t get the point of those things. They don’t really mean much but they’re better than nothing I guess.

The announcers exchange movie and TV references including Cagney and Lacey as not much is going on here. Kaval takes over with strikes of course, some of which aren’t even strikes. Kaval is the World Warrior apparently. NICE moonsault press gets two. A handspring sets up a BRUTAL kick to the face for two. That was awesome looking.

Warrior’s Way is avoided and Ziggler gets the sleeper on the middle rope. He gets knocked off and Kaval busts out a moonsault into a 450. No worries though as he lands on his feet. Well of course he does. Backslide gets two and a Fameasser (NOT THE ZIG ZAG COLE!) gets two. Both guys down now as this show has been SWEET from a wrestling perspective so far. SWEET enziguri from the top gets two.

They slug it out some more and Ziggler can’t put him away. Kaval goes for a school boy but Ziggler grabs the ropes. A small package for Dolph gets two as this is getting very good very fast. Another rollup from Kaval is reversed into a rollup by Ziggler to retain. Nice pinfall reversal into the ending there. May have been some tights grabbed too.

Rating: B-. This has been a SWEET show from a wrestling perspective as this is the third solid match in a row. When’s the last time you get that from a WWE show? Kaval shouldn’t win a title yet so this is a good ending for it. Ziggler is very good in the ring and has been getting to show us that lately. I liked this as I have every match. Good match again.

Team Del Rio talks about beating Rey and there’s a theme of speaking Spanish here. Del Rio wants to see kids cry. I like this guy!

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Kofi Kingston, Chris Masters, MVP
Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger

The crowd has kind of died which is sad as this has been a very solid show so far. Cole says the heel team is the best groomed team ever. That was a good one. The captains start us off here as I love seeing these matches. It would be nice to not have seen it at Bragging Rights but you get the idea. Cody comes in maybe 10 seconds after we start. Team Rey is all in blue.

Striker says Rickey Henderson might be the best ball player of all time. Just….no. Lawler has to get them back on track. You can tell they’re in trouble when he’s the voice of reason. Beautiful Disaster gets two and here comes Alberto again. Rey takes over and needs to tag. Ah there we go and it’s the hometown boy. Drive By kick in the corner and here comes Kofi.

Lawler talks about his mini clowns and mini kings. Here’s Masters now as Alberto is getting beaten up. Drew jumps into Chris’ boot and MVP is back in to beat up Drew. Ballin hits but we get the Mania 5 Rude/Warrior ending to get rid of MVP. Masters vs. Alberto now as Masters hits a Jackhammer for two. Masterlock can’t go on but Alberto gets a Codebreaker onto the arm and then the armbreaker gets the tap to get us to 5-3.

And here’s Big Show which I think everyone saw coming. Off to Swagger and down he goes to some chops. Swagger takes out the knee and brings in Alberto again. Dang he’s been in a lot. He slaps Show’s head and Show shouts HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? Drew won’t tag in so Alberto tags him in. Show knocks Alberto out anyway for fun. Nice shot as Del Rio just crumbled. Something tells me that’s your ending.

Future Shock can’t hit Show who slams Kofi onto Drew for two. Del Rio is taken out and I’d bet on him coming out to get the win, especially since the announcer said completely eliminated. Kofi slaps Cody who LOSES it, destroying the table and kicking anything in sight. He yells at Chimmel to HOLD UP THE JACKET. There’s a blemish so Kofi slams him again.

Show comes in and grabs his face. Show yells at him and Cody hides, so Show just punches him for the easy pin. Reks is in and hits a big clothesline on Show to take him down for two. Back to Swagger as it’s 5-4 Del Rio but he’s out getting checked on. The heels go after Show’s leg but Show kicks him in the head. And so much for that as Show goes for the chokeslam but it’s reversed into the ankle lock. Has no face ever heard of breaking up a hold???

Show drags Swagger to the corner and gets the tag to Rey who goes nuts on Jackie boy. Big boot takes Rey’s head off though for two. Kofi interferes to put Swagger in 619 position but he grabs the legs into a SICK ankle lock. He can’t crawl to the corner so he swings Jack into 619 position but Swagger tags Reks. Kofi comes in but they can’t get Reks out even with a big top rope cross body.

Kofi misses his running leapfrog into the punches in the corner and winds up in the Tree of Woe. Kofi kicks him out of that and gets the pin to tie us up. Swagger grabs the ankle lock which doesn’t work and neither does the powerbomb. Kofi misses Trouble in Paradise and lands in the ankle lock to make it officially 3-2 with Show and Rey against Swagger Drew and Del Rio even though Del Rio is gone.

Show and Rey go for the Rey diving off Show’s shoulders but Drew gets a shot in and Rey crashes. Swagger vs. Rey with the masked dude getting a top rope rana to set up the 619. There’s the Show’s shoulder splash to get us down to just Drew in the ring. Yep I’d still bet on Del Rio coming back. Future Shock is blocked and the 619 sets up a chokeslam to end it. Apparently that’s it as Del Rio is gone. So I guess Del Rio was eliminated first?

Rating: B-. These are hard to grade but this was pretty fun. The ending was about what I expected but Alberto going out first was really weird and I was completely wrong about him coming back. It’s nice to see one of these at the show that’s supposed to have these matches. Rey and Show winning was kind of predictable but that works fine sometimes. Fun stuff.

Ad for TLC which is literally all stick figures. I liked it.

Randy says nothing special.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

Man Michelle looks good in some gold shorts. I can’t imagine Natalya doesn’t get the belt tonight. Actually I could but it involves Beth Phoenix returning soon. Natalya is built. We start with some blonde on blonde action here which is never a bad thing. The announcers point out that both of Laycool are from Florida. That means a total of nothing but whatever.

Heel double teaming puts Natalya out to the floor and has her in trouble. Dang imagine Michelle as your teacher in like 7th grade. Natalya gets a suplex on both girls to send everyone down. They play up the whole this is Natalya’s life thing as she gets beaten down. That would signal foreshadowing and maybe it does as McCool is sent into the crowd. Back in the ring as Natalya sends their heads together and the Sharpshooter to McCool ends it.

Rating: D+. Was anyone really surprised here? This was about what everyone expected it to be and at least the right person won. Not a bad match or anything but a total break between the early stuff and then the real meat of the show which we’re about to get to. This change needed to happen so all is right with the world now. Ok not in the slightest but this was the right result.

Post match Laycool jumps here and I was right as Beth is here to kick their small but shapely figures. She celebrates with Natalya.

We recap Edge vs. Kane which more or less is Edge came back to Smackdown and won a title shot then kidnapped Paul Bearer. That’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Champion comes out first here which is a little weird. Pretty decent pop for Edge. Edge brings out an empty wheelchair to keep up the psychological stuff. Edge fires away to start and pulls Kane not quite to the floor. Top rope something jumps into the chokeslam but a spinwheel kick gets Edge out of trouble as well as two. Edge keeps messing with Kane’s mind and it seems to be working.

Edge goes for the knee and controls for the opening few minutes if not more. Edgecution is blocked and Edge gets draped over the top rope and has his head kicked in. Kane keeps asking where Paul is. Apparently the only way for him to find out is for Edge to tell him and it has to be IN THIS MATCH. Why? Striker makes it seem like Bearer will die if he doesn’t do this just right. This isn’t Bash 04 dude.

This crowd is just boring. We get a Craig Pittman reference of all things as King mentions hearing once that “beatings will continue until morale improves.” Edge gets a top rope cross body for two as this is going VERY slowly. Edge gets a shot in for a counter as this is putting me to sleep.

We get some very basic back and forth stuff with nothing behind it at all. The fans just do not care at all here. The Edgecution hits as I’m just waiting for LONG stretches of time between typing anything here due to boredom. Edge sets for the spear but Kane kicks his head off and gets the chokeslam for two. And then Edge hits the spear to win it. The announcers seem to not notice.

And never mind as both sets of shoulders were down so it’s a tie and Kane keeps the title. I smell a TLC match.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness this was boring. We had to sit here that whole time for THAT finish? Are you kidding me? We had a tie at Survivor Series. This company makes my head hurt so often at times. I guess that it sets up a big gimmick match at the next PPV, but the downside is that it sets up a big gimmick match at the next PPV.

Post match Kane goes to beat up Edge but Edge counters and puts Kane in the wheelchair which Edge sends through the barricade.

Barrett talks to Cena about Nexus which began in this building. We get it.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

All of Nexus is out here for this but they don’t talk. Well other than Barrett of course. Slater vs. Santino to start as apparently Vlad has been teaching Santino Sambo. Oh great now he has offense. Nexus looks like they have more unique tights now. Santino gets the first loud chant in a good while. Oh what are you really expecting here? After Vlad gets beaten down for awhile Santino comes in and cleans house but Nexus interferes so Slater can get the pin to retain. It was maybe four minutes long.

Rating: D. This was the next to last match on a major PPV. Do I need to explain why this was a bad idea?

Nexus beats Santino down afterwards and it’s E-MAIL TIME IN SOUTH BEACH BABY!!! It’s just a reminder to not interfere in the title match and if they do they’re all suspended.

We recap Cena vs. Barrett. Cena is stuck in Nexus and if he gets Barrett the title tonight he isn’t fired and is free from Nexus. If Orton retains then Cena is fired. Short and sweet, so of course they take five minutes to set it up. Sweet video though.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Cena comes out first and is all like come on let’s get this over with. Nice pop for Orton but not as big as for Cena. Immediately after the bell rings a fan shouts out YOU FREAKING PIECE OF GARBAGE! Not sure who that was to but dang it’s weird hearing that on a WWE show. The fans chant RKO and we start very, very slowly.

Clean match a few minutes in. This is going to get 15-20 minutes and no one cares about anything but the ending. Cena is being fair so far. They head to the floor with Barret in control. Barrett throws punches for two as Cena counts fairly. This has been about 80% punches and headlocks and we’re almost ten minutes in.

The one thing no one seems to talk about in WWE is the idea of Barrett just being able to beat Orton. If that happens fairly then Cena wins his freedom and Barrett wins fairly. It tells you a lot when a clean ending is a total and complete impossibility. The match doesn’t matter a bit here as it’s just window dressing for the Cena move, whatever that is.

A Barrett elbow gets two. Cena keeps having to explain that it was a two count and the shoulder was up. Barrett sets for Wasteland but Orton gets elbows to the head. And then he gets a Bossman (Black Hole according to Striker) Slam for two. Dueling Cena chants start up. Back in the ring Wasteland hits and Orton grabs the rope. Cena counted fairly.

Barrett gets in his face and Cena looks scared. Barrett shoves him and Cena shoves him into the RKO and counts the three. Hokey smoke. Everyone is stunned, myself included.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but to put it mildly this was all about setting up the ending angle which is going on as I type this. Barrett’s in ring style is something I like. This wasn’t horrible as the crowd carried a lot of it, but this really was pretty weak. It was all about the ending though, and sometimes that’s fine. Not terrible but just there as a backdrop for the ending.

Nexus runs in and it’s the Super Best Friends to take care of them. Cena hands him the title and he poses to his music and leaves. Cena stands in the ring and lays his wristbands down in the middle of the ring and gets a mostly face chant. He hugs Cole and Sign Guy then comes back towards the ring. He points to a camera and walks up the ramp. I feel like an idiot writing every basic thing he does. The little graphic comes on in the corner as he’s about to leave but he goes into the crowd to high five people. He goes all the way around the arena and the camera stays on him, and then he leaves and we fade to black.

Overall Rating: B. There were some boring parts (Kane vs. Edge springs to mind. Scratch that as springing would imply someone doing something quickly in that match) to this but overall I really liked tonight’s show. The wrestling in the first hour to hour and a half is the best WWE has put on TV in a long time. The drama in the main event was certainly there and while I didn’t like the execution of it that well, the point was to make us want to watch to see what happened and that’s what happened.

This show was high on drama and it felt like a major show. Having four good matches to start and some decent ones to finish on helped a lot too. The show felt like it was something you needed to see and with that all hinging on one moment, the extra stuff at the beginning easily make this a good show and well worth checking out if you get the chance. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

The other major story on the show is Team Orton vs. Team Batista. Randy Orton vs. Batista had always been a match WWE wanted to push on a big stage but this is about as high as they ever got. They would face each other at various other pay per views in singles matches, but none as high profile as this one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the exact same thing it’s been for two years. Literally, they’re the same clips before we get to the stuff about the main events.

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Rey hits a quick hurricanrana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s time for Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Naturally Shawn skins the cat to come back in, as he has for years. At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn gets back inside. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker. Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 victory.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

HHH doesn’t think he needs to give his opinion on the Jeff Hardy situation. Either way, Hardy will be back. Tonight it’s going to be him vs. Kozlov and HHH promises to give the Russian his first defeat.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Candice is a model who wasn’t horrible in the ring, Maryse is a French Canadian bombshell and Natalya is a member of the Hart Family. Beth is the captain of Team Raw (and is dating Santino Marella) and McCool is captain of Team Smackdown. They’re also Women’s and Divas Champions respectively. For the sake of simplicity, only Michelle McCool will be referred to as Michelle. Beth and Michelle start things off with Beth controlling via a top wristlock. Michelle uses some decent chain wrestling to set up a dropkick to send Beth backwards a bit.

Maryse tags herself in and gets in a brawl with her own partner Michelle. Team Raw: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Good thinking. After the brawl is broken up, it’s Beth vs. Maria with Maria avoiding a charge and hitting a slow motion headscissors. Off to Kelly vs. Maria and hopefully this doesn’t last long. Victoria tags herself in and gets caught in a hurricanrana by Kelly for the pin. Kelly tries the same thing on Maryse for two so Maryse hits a backbreaker and gets the pin as well.

It’s 4-4 now and Mickie comes in while swearing a bit. A Thesz Press puts Maryse down and it’s off to Michelle again. They try to bridge into a backslide, fail miserably, and try again to a standoff. McCool hits a Russian legsweep for two and Mickie hits a clothesline for the same. Maria’s save hits McCool by mistake, allowing Mickie to hit the jumping DDT and pin Michelle. Mickie gets in an argument with Beth and gets rolled up by Maryse to tie it right back up.

Off to Candice vs. Natalya and they trade some rollups for two. Natalya busts out a Sharpshooter (it is the Survivor Series after all) but Jillian makes the save. Candice hits a spear for a quick pin on Natalya and it’s 3-2 with Jillian, Beth and Candice vs. Maria and Maryse.

It’s Jillian vs. Maria with Jillian getting two off a Samoan Drop. Maria grabs a quick victory roll to eliminate Jillian and ten seconds later, Candice hits a northern lights suplex to put Maria out. Maryse hooks an inverted figure four on Candice and we’re down to one on one. Maryse gets in a few shots and a rollup but the Glam Slam (double chickenwing slam) gives Beth the final pin very quickly.

Rating: D. As decent as last year’s was, this felt like your traditional Divas match. You had some decent workers but most of the girls are models who are there because of how they look in swimsuits. I’ve seen worse matches and the right choice was the survivor, but this just didn’t work for the most part.

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Show isn’t scared of Undertaker so he’ll win the casket match tonight.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Casket match and the casket gets the full druid entrance. I wonder if those guys hang out at catering after this. They have a nice casket this year too instead of the normally generic ones. Show took all of 2007 off and lost a ton of weight so he’s still kind of slim here. Well slim for him that is. I don’t think the bell rang but Show starts throwing punches anyway. One misses though and Undertaker tries to dump him into the casket to no avail.

They head to the floor and Undertaker’s headbutt has no effect. Show pounds away at the ribs and rams Undertaker face first into the announce table to daze the smaller giant. The announce table gets loaded up but Show headbutts him instead of putting Undertaker on the table. Undertaker grabs one of those big monitors WWE uses and bashes Show’s head in a few times with it. A BIG leg to put Show through the table in the huge spot of the match.

They slowly start heading back to the casket but take a detour into the ring instead. Old School is countered and things slow down again. There’s a side slam from Show as the crowd is a lot less interested than they were when Undertaker was on offense. The casket it opened and Undertaker is put inside but Show has to close the casket himself.

Since Show won’t close the lid, Undertaker comes back with a bunch of punches and the jumping clothesline. Show hits a big elbow in the corner to slow down Undertaker (and the crowd) again. For some reason Show loads up a Vader Bomb when Undertaker is half up and gets chokeslammed down.

The casket is opened again and a big boot to the side of Show’s head knocks him inside, but Show blocks the lid from being shut again. Back in and Show hits the chokeslam….then destroys the casket. Show starts walking away and there’s a wall of fire to stop him from leaving. Well of course there is. Undertaker goes after him and gets punched down again, but here are more druids with another casket.

Show punches Undertaker a bit more and stands the casket up so he can ram Undertaker into it and knock both of them down. The casket is stood up again but it’s open this time. Undertaker punches Show to the edge of the stage before whipping Show into the casket, causing it to fall and shut to give Undertaker the win.

Rating: D. This is considered a horrible casket match by some people but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly a bad match but the ending was kind of creative and what are you expecting from Undertaker vs. Big Show? They’re going to hit each other a lot and it’s going to be slow, so why do people act surprised when any match with either of these two or Kane is the same formula? Not a good match but it’s definitely not terrible.

Carlito and Primo (cousins) hit on the Bellas but can’t tell them apart. In something I never thought I’d have to say again, the Gobbledygooker pops up and the Colons think it’s Charlie Haas, but of course he pops up in the room and the Gooker is played by the Boogeyman. This would be another pointless segment.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to be team captain but his team will win anyway. He implies Cody is the weak link of the team. Cody says that if Randy is eliminated first, it’s addition by subtraction. The team has to hold them apart.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Cody is being mentored by Orton in a group called Legacy, Shelton is US Champion, Matt is ECW Champion and Punk/Kofi are Raw Tag Team Champions. Orton cost Punk the Raw World Title back in October, Hardy and Henry are feuding over the ECW Title, Truth is chasing Shelton’s Title and Regal has been helping Orton against Batista. This is quite the intricate match for a change.

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Henry apparently gets tired after a few seconds so here’s Cody. Matt comes in, does nothing of note, and tags in Truth who pounds away. Striker talks about what a killing Truth is making as we can hear a lot of spots being called here tonight. I don’t know if the ring is mic’d loudly or what but you can hear all kinds of stuff here. Batista comes in and everybody runs until it’s only Cody left to face him. Rhodes quickly tags out to Shelton but Batista takes him down with ease and gets two via a powerslam. Off to Matt vs. Randy as things speed up. A bulldog gets two for Matt but a moonsault misses.

It’s off to Henry who lost the ECW Title to Hardy a few months ago. Cody comes in and chokes a bit but there’s the double tag to Truth vs. Shelton. A victory roll gets two for Truth and he does his backflip into the splits spot. The spinning forearm misses completely and Paydirt (a jumping downward spiral) gets the pin for Shelton. Kofi immediately comes in with a springboard cross body for two and a dropkick to put Shelton down.

The Boom Drop gets another two for Kofi but Henry blasts Kofi in the back of the head. Henry comes in legally now for more quick pounding and it’s finally off to Orton. Orton does his really slow stomp but the knee drop misses. Randy drapes him over the top rope and hits the hanging DDT for the elimination. Punk is immediately waiting on Orton, who gets beaten up for a few moments but gets in a rake to the eyes and tags out to Cody.

Rhodes works on the arm for a bit but gets caught by the knee and bulldog combo for two. Punk goes up but Manu (the other member of Legacy who didn’t last long) distracts him long enough for Cody to shove him off the top. A DDT eliminates Punk quickly and we’re down to 4-2 with Batista/Matt vs. Orton/Cody/Henry/Benjamin. Matt comes in and hits a quick Side Effect for two on Rhodes but it’s quickly back to Henry. Matt hits an elbow to the back of Henry’s head and manages to pull off the Side Effect for two. That’s about it for Hardy as the World’s Strongest Slam takes him out, leaving Batista all alone.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Rating: B. This was a kind of throwback to the old school Survivor Series matches where the numbers finally caught up with the big face and he got beat. Orton vs. Batista was one of the big matches that WWE never really got to do on the scale I think they were hoping for. They would have a long match next month at Armageddon but that’s hardly the second main event at Wrestlemania which they were capable of having. Still though, good stuff here and the best match of the night by far.

Kozlov says he’ll win.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

The recap video is pretty pointless now because the video is mostly about Jeff. Kozlov is here because HHH wanted to have some big epic match with him that no one but him was interested in. Jeff is here because he keeps getting so close to winning the title so EVIL Vickie wouldn’t let him in the match. Jeff invaded the contract signing and beat up a lot of people until he was put in the match.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

HHH is defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans chant USA of course and for once it’s actually appropriate. Kozlov, the amateur wrestler/combat sports expert, takes it to the mat with amateur stuff. Now remember that, because it’ll become important later. HHH gets on the mat with him and hooks a headlock. The fans now chant boring as we hit a standoff. Now they want Hardy.

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Back in and a fall away slam gets two for the challenger and he fires some shoulders to the ribs. A powerslam gets another two and it’s off to a body grip to slow things down even more. Kozlov hits a pair of backbreakers for two and it’s back to that grip. HHH comes back with some right hands but gets powerslammed down for another two. A comeback by HHH is countered into a belly to belly as Taz says Kozlov is going to win, further dooming him to lose. HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and here’s Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero.

She says he’s here and makes it a triple threat, with the third man being the returning Edge. Edge does the psycho eyes on the way to the ring and I think a cameraman fell off the ramp as he was filming. Edge spears down HHH and here’s Jeff Hardy to destroy the Canadian. His chair shot hits HHH though, allowing Edge to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: D. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, as usual I disagree with anyone who said this was the worst match of the year. It’s arguably not even the worst match of the show, but think about this for a minute: are you telling me there isn’t some terrible Divas match somewhere in the year worse than this? Or that Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella at Cyber Sunday was indeed better?

This match was indeed bad, but let’s think about this for a minute. Kozlov is supposed to be a combat sports expert and an amateur wrestler. So what did he do? He wrestled like his character was supposed to. Now was it boring? Absolutely. Was it a REALLY stupid move to put him in a World Title match? Absolutely. Were the fans interested? Not at all. If you want proof, back at Cyber Sunday the options for the title match were HHH vs. either guy, or a triple threat. The results were as follows:

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Based on that alone, it’s clear that almost no one wanted to see HHH vs. Kozlov one on one. The interest just wasn’t there, so they booked a triple threat instead which there was interest in. Then they screw the fans out of their money by taking Jeff out of the match because of whatever their reasoning was. Then they flip the fans off AGAIN by having Hardy run in at the end. Hardy would pin Edge in another triple threat the next month to win the title in a shocker. Why this match didn’t happen here is beyond me, but again it’s screwing the fans out of what was advertised until the night before the show.

At the end of the day though, no one bought Kozlov as a real threat to the title. The guy just wasn’t going to be WWE Champion with the response he got, which is why Hardy was the interesting factor in this match. Without him, you have twelve minutes of your time being wasted until the ending, which should have been Hardy. Anyway, nothing to see here but it’s not the worst match of the year.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. Jericho snuck into the Championship Scramble match last month at Unforgiven and stole the World Title while Cena was on the shelf. Tonight, Cena returns from a neck injury to try and get his title back. In his hometown. Against a guy that has literally only beaten him once. And we’re supposed to expect Jericho to have a chance because we’re supposed to ignore all that stuff.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Jericho is defending of course. Cena almost immediately tries the FU but Jericho bails to the apron. Jericho comes back with a headlock which works on the neck followed by a shoulder block to take Cena to the floor. John holds his neck a lot and looks shaken. Back in and Cena pounds away in the corner as they’re hitting hard but the pace of the match is pretty slow if that makes sense. Jericho takes over and things continue to go slowly.

Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up for the Fameasser, only to come down because that’s the move that hurt his neck in the first place. Jericho takes over again and things go slowly. A kick to the side of Cena’s head puts him on the floor for a nine count. Back in and Cena slugs away but gets sent right back to the floor. Jericho throws him into the steps and heads back in for a neck crank.

After the hold is broken, it’s time for more choking followed by a full nelson. The hold lasts almost a minute and a half but Cena blocks the bulldog. A shoulder puts Jericho down but the second shoulder connects. Jericho misses the Lionsault but the Shuffle is countered into the Liontamer (kneeling Walls of Jericho)! He hasn’t used that in years but it looks awesome. Cena escapes the hold so Jericho puts on the regular Boston Crab instead. Cena, after being in the hold over a minute straight, grabs the rope to escape. Back up and Cena hits an FU out of nowhere but can’t follow up.

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine but there was less drama in this than in a Donald Duck cartoon. At the end of the day, Cena does not lose to Jericho and he does not tap out no matter what. The wrestling was fine and it told a story and all that jazz, but I’d rather have a main event where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen than a match being designed for Cena to have everything come together and win and then everything coming together to win.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been doing so many of these lately, but this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world. It was dull at times and almost felt like a chore to sit through. The first hour or so is WAY worse than the rest of the show, but even the last two thirds aren’t all that great. This didn’t work that well and it’s not something I want to see again.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Matt Striker, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

So here we are at the most recent Survivor Series. This show is built around one thing and one thing only: the return of John Cena. He was coming back from being hurt by Batista, so therefore he’s the #1 contender to Chris Jericho’s title. Considering this is in his hometown, the ending is pretty clear. On the Smackdown side we have the triple threat between HHH, Kozlov and allegedly Hardy, but this was the infamous stairwell angle that I’ve never gotten why it had such a huge backlash.

More on that later though. Anyway, Hardy isn’t there so we have a one on one match allegedly. There’s also three Survivor Series matches so that should be good. They’re going with longer matches this year, which I’m fine with. Let’s get to it and end this review series as even I’m fed up with this show at this point.

The intro is all about Cena and survival. No other matches are mentioned at all. Good to know that the company thinks so much of its other wrestlers. The theme song is by AC/DC though so I can’t really complain. We immediately start talking about the Hardy incident where they claim that ABC, CNN and TMZ have all talked about this.

That would surprise me, but I’d be more surprised if they would flat out lie like that on a live PPV. That’s something that’s a bit hard to cover up, so maybe those outlets did. TMZ I could certainly see doing it. Anyway, Ross’ voice sounds a bit off. Maybe he’s sick or something. Let’s get to it.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

HBK, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali, Rey Mysterio
JBL, Miz, Morrison, MVP, Kane

The feuds here are pretty simple. HBK vs. JBL, the tag teams, Kane vs. Rey and MVP and Great Khali aren’t really feuding but they just didn’t have anything else to do. My goodness Lillian is gorgeous. How can you have multiple sole survivors? The money aspect of JBL vs. HBK hasn’t kicked off yet but they’re fighting a bit. These entrances are taking WAY too long. To say Rey is over is the understatement of the year.

MVP is in the middle of his big losing streak here that would ultimately make him a face. Miz and Morrison are just awesome, plain and simple. We start with MVP vs. Rey which should be a decent little match. If his partner didn’t suck so much, JTG would be a decent wrestler. He’s certainly the more talented member of his team, but dang he’s small. He’s also eliminated by a Drive By from MVP. He literally turns around and is hit by a Khali chop and pinned.

Well that’s a decent way to get rid of two guys I guess. It’s big on big now with Kane vs. Khali. The camera shot they use of looking up at them is really a cool looking thing. With an assist from Khali, Rey takes out Kane with a very high splash. We move on to Rey vs. Morrison here which should definitely be good.

The commentators are getting a lot of little verbal jabs in at each other which are at least being taken well. Good grief Shad is scary strong. Someone finally points out that Shad wears weird boots when he wrestles.

The commentators get into a long and weird debate/joke fest about 80s bands which makes no sense. They’re interrupted by Miz taking out Shad with a Reality Check. It’s 3-3 here as it’s HBK, Rey and Khali against Miz, Morrison and JBL. We get HBK vs. Miz which is a pretty cool match that I’d like to see more of. After JBL and Miz punch the heck out of HBK’s face, his eye is busted open a bit.

I would love to see Shawn vs. Morrison in a 20 minute match once. It would be awesome. Morrison starts using Shawn’s old moves, after having beaten him with a superkick on Raw this past week. That’s a cool angle when you think about it. After a long time of being in trouble, HBK makes the tag and Rey comes in. He goes completely human highlight reel and takes out Miz like he’s a jobber.

The you can’t wrestle chants kick off for JBL, which I’ve always thought was unfair. He’s a big power brawler. It wouldn’t make sense to have him do flips and technical stuff. It’s not in his nature. Rey has been held down his entire career? Really Grisham? He’s a former world champion, the greatest cruiserweight of all time and a surefire hall of fame guy. He’s really been held down. Morrison gets a nice counter to the bulldog move that Rey does.

I like it when people use counters to signature moves. It’s nice to see as it can’t be as hard as it’s implied. I don’t think it’s fair to say that JBL can’t wrestle, but dang his offense was pretty limited. Almost all he’s used are punches, clubbing blows and shoulder blocks. Throw out a powerbomb or a suplex or something buddy. Shawn comes in and after the nip up throws out a crotch chop to Morrison, foreshadowing the inevitable DX reunion number 18,000.

HBK and JBL go to the floor and fight it out resulting in JBL getting counted out but in a way that reminds me of a video game for some reason. Shawn almost walks into what would have been a SICK Sweet Chin Music from Morrison but naturally he ducks and kicks John’s head off for the pin and the victory.

Rating: B+. This was about as good of an opener as we were going to get. All of the eliminations made sense which is a lot more than I can say for some past matches. The feuds were kept alive which is the biggest thing you can ask for also. Everyone but JBL looked on their game out there and the result was solid. This is the epitome of a good Survivor Series match.

We go to the back where Eve, who is about to fall out of her top, is with HHH. HHH says that Jeff will be back, but tonight it’s HHH vs. Kozlov, which is what it should have been all along. HHH says that tonight is Kozlov’s first Survivor Series, his first title match, and his first loss. That’s a very short but good promo that hit exactly what it was supposed to do. There was a real chance that the Russian got the belt tonight, despite everyone on here knowing how much of a disaster that would have been.

Raw Divas vs. Smackdown Divas

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian
Smackdown: Michelle, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

This is Survivor Series rules. Santino is with Beth here. The Divas are wearing their respective brands shirts which they all pull off. Yep, this is all about wrestling ability. Oh yeah Michelle and Beth are the respective champions here. Ok so more or less this is how the first few eliminations go: rollup, move, rollup, rollup, move. That’s the issue with the modern Divas.

So many of them win matches with nothing but rollups, which I can’t accept is due to anything other than a lack of knowing how to do anything else. That’s just sad. To be fair they’re not just school boys, but they’re all leverage moves or jackknife pins or something like that. That’s fine once in awhile but it eventually gets really old really fast. The Smackdown Divas keep arguing over who the captain is since Michelle is eliminated.

After that big rant, Jillian is taken out by a rollup. Within seconds a Northern Lights suplex takes out Maria. That’s another thing: the eliminations are coming WAY too fast. Seconds later, Maryse takes out Candice with an inverted figure four which in essence is a Sharpshooter where you sit on the leg instead of pulling on it. The final two are Beth and Maryse. Beth wins it with a big power move. This was just boring. Santino of course celebrates because he needs to validate his existence.

Rating: D-. This was just a waste of time. The eliminations were like 45 seconds apart, the moves were just repetitive, this accomplished nothing, and no one cared. That’s the main problems I can think of right now and I’m sure there were more in there. I don’t get why these matches happen. I guess to keep pests off of Vince’s back for doing swimsuit contests.

Matt Hardy says he doesn’t know what happened to Jeff. He knows that Jeff got hit in the head but that’s it.

We recap Taker vs. Big Show’s 10,387th feud which was exactly the same as it always had been. This time it’s a casket match. Big Show says Taker has no power over him. That more or less seals the ending of this match.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

Taker comes out first here to his mega entrance, which comes off as odd to me. Not the big entrance but that he comes out first. That’s just odd. Oh apparently that was just a group of random druids bringing the casket down. Yeah that’s just odd. I always love thinking about the druids getting lunch or something. It’s just amusing. Naturally the gong gets a bit pop.

This starts in the ring for about 12 seconds with most of that being Taker having the casket raised up. Immediately after that we’re on the floor with Show in control. I really don’t like these kinds of matches as they’re just so basic and simple that they’re not very interesting for the most part. Thankfully the ECW guys were allowed to leave.

I’ve always felt sorry for them having to sit out there all night long for a single match and then do nothing for the other two and a half hours but watch the show. Dang the announcers have nice chairs. A legdrop puts Show through the table because we’ve never seen that before. Hey we’re in the ring for a change! This is the big problem with feuds like this: we know Taker is going to win and that Show is just there to give Taker something to do until he’s back in the title hunt.

It gets old after awhile, but it’s kept Taker very fresh over the years so I can’t really complain. Show gets Taker down and has him in the casket but wants the referees to shut it, allegedly due to fear. Of course Taker pops up and starts his comeback. Ross calls Show a mastodon and before the word is out of his mouth he goes up for a Vader Bomb. It didn’t work but whatever.

Show gets out of the casket as apparently we need to do even more of the same stuff. The crowd is kind of into it but not really. They react to spots and that’s about all. With Taker down in the ring, Show tips the casket over and starts to leave. A wall of fire stops him and heeeeeeeere’s Taker. A bunch of druids bring out another casket as Taker is back up. They’re really making Show look strong here which is a good thing.

In something unique they stand the casket up. That’s new if nothing else. After the next ridiculous comeback from Taker, he beats on Show a bit and then Irish whips him into the standing casket which falls over and closes to end it. That was actually a cool ending but it got ZERO reaction. I mean no one did anything at all when it happened.

Rating: D+. This was a waste of time. No one cared, mainly due to who was in it. There was no reason at all to watch this and it was just boring. These two have fought so many times and had so many boring matches that there’s just no reason to watch it. The ending was cool if nothing else, which is why it passes.

Buy Armageddon! We promise it won’t suck!

The Colons hit on the Bellas, who are indeed hot despite what some would like you to believe. Of all things, the Gobbledygooker comes in. I wish I was making that up. They think it’s Charlie Haas, but he walks up. It’s the Boogeyman.

Team Orton is in the back. Orton says he’d rather be fighting Jericho, leading to him and Cody arguing. Legacy hadn’t started yet but it was coming very soon.

Team Batista vs. Team Orton

Batista, Matt Hardy, CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth
Orton, Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, Regal, Mark Henry

No recap here, which more or less is the case because there’s very little story. The main thing here is about Orton and Batista. Orton put Batista out with a punt a few months earlier and is ticked off about it, leading to this. Punk and Kofi are tag champions here in the middle of their completely forgotten title reign that would end at the hands of Miz and Morrison soon after this. Matt is the ECW Champion here, in the middle of a pretty good feud with Mark Henry.

As for the other guys, there’s really nothing here. The Draft would change a lot around in 5-6 months, but until then there was just not a lot going on in the midcard. This match really was just kind of thrown together and there wasn’t a lot there for it. Rhodes has Manu with him here. The two of them and DiBiase had been trying to get Orton to join them but that wouldn’t happen for about two more months, forming Legacy.

Oh and Regal is IC Champion here, but he would lose it to Punk very soon. Speaking of Punk, he hits the GTS on Regal inside of 15 seconds to take him out. I’m assuming an injury or something like that there, but whatever. Kofi and Shelton get in there and just tear the place up for a few seconds. Truth really does have a cool look to him. Striker says that he’s making a killing here, which is amusing. The crowd is more or less dead here.

The announcers make sure to let us know that Orton vs. Batista is about Evolution. How can the feuds that came from a stable last longer than the stable itself did? I’ve never gotten that. Oh I think Shelton and R-Truth are having a mini feud here but no one really cared about it.

Like I said the feuds here were more or less thrown together and meant nothing at all. Oh I do remember R-Truth and Shelton. I watched them at a house show for the US Title. It more or less sucked. Shelton is US Champion here in case I forgot to mention that.

Truth is just sloppy. He walks into Paydirt though and it’s tied at 4. Kofi comes in off the top and Striker says the Jamaican is getting high. That’s just amusing. MVP would soon turn face and take the belt from Shelton, although not until just before Mania. Orton comes in and the match just slows down so much it’s insane. The second rope DDT takes out Kofi.

I would have thought the hair would absorb a lot of the impact there. Punk and Orton never got the match or angle that they should have after Orton cost him the world title at Unforgiven. That’s a shame as they would have had a great feud I think, or at least a great match or two. Naturally Punk was given a big thing of nothing like the tag titles. Granted he won the IC Title very soon, breathing some life back into it.

He would also get the MITB and world title again, so maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about. In what can only be called a shocker, Rhodes hits a DDT on Punk for the clean pin which has to be the biggest win of his career. I get the potential in him, but eventually he has to actually do something with it, and the same is true of DiBiase. We’re on to Henry vs. Hardy with the former slamming the heck out of Hardy to take him out.

Less than ten seconds later Henry is speared out by Batista. It’s 3-1 now in case you were wondering. We have Batista against Shelton, Rhodes and Orton. The Batista Bomb on Shelton makes is what would become Legacy vs. Batista. Dave runs through Rhodes but a quick tag from Orton saves him.

Despite Orton gyrating and jumping up and down waiting on Batista to turn around, the Animal doesn’t hear him. The RKO ends this, setting up the complete throw away match between Batista and Orton at Armageddon. Remember that match? I didn’t think so.

Rating: C-. I didn’t really like it. I liked Orton winning the way he did, but the whole thing went too fast. It wasn’t bad for sure, but it certainly wasn’t anything great. The complete lack of feuds hurt things a lot here too. Having so many people that had nothing to do with the main feud or anything like it hurt things. It was ok, but not great.

Kozlov says something that was supposed to be English I think. Never mind it’s Russian.

We recap the three way feud, despite Hardy not being here tonight. I would recap it, but it means nothing since Jeff isn’t wrestling and he’s the focus of the package.

WWE Title: Vladamir Kozlov vs. HHH

We get a bell for the introductions and a bell for the actual match, so technically the match was paused for the majority of the action. That joke has long since passed being funny. Naturally the USA chants start up. Within seconds the fans are chanting boring. More on that later. They’re doing a very mat based technical style here with some submission stuff. The we want Hardy chant is going strong for about 12 seconds.

A TNA chant starts up as they speed up the pace a bit. It’s not bad, but it’s a different style that I don’t think a lot of the people are into at all. It’s really not that bad. HHH is fighting a guy that’s never lost so he’s afraid to use his best stuff. He’s feeling out Kozlov at first to avoid making mistakes. What’s so weird about that? It’s a thinking man style from the Cerebral Assassin.

Why is that bad? I really don’t like the way Scott Armstrong counts. He’s the blonde referee that has that hitch in his count. It’s so annoying. This goes on for awhile, and while it’s kind of boring, it’s certainly not bad. From out of nowhere, HHH gets a Pedigree. He gets ready to cover him, but Vickie appears on the stage, saying that it will be a triple threat and that he’s here!

Naturally it’s not Jeff but rather the returning Edge. He hits a spear on HHH but Jeff runs out and beats up Edge. Ok wait, hang on a second. Jeff was ok to do the run in (this if from kayfabe mind you) but couldn’t wrestle? I thought he was supposed to be extreme or whatever. That makes little sense. Anyway, Jeff hits HHH and Kozlov with a chair but gets speared. Edge covers HHH and wins the freaking title again.

Rating: D+. This is going to be a long rating. Ok, so the match was pretty boring. Was it bad though? Not really. There was indeed a story there though as I outlined earlier on. Kozlov is supposed to be this master fighter and grappler, so what did he do you ask? He used a bunch of grapples and submission holds to wear down HHH. In other words, he did what his gimmick called for him to do.

HHH was wrestling smart, so he did what his gimmick called for him to do. The Edge twist felt cheap, but it’s nothing that he hasn’t done a dozen times or so already. However, Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter called this the worst match of the year. That my friends, is nonsense. The Divas match earlier was light years worse than this.

I would say that’s Meltzer simply continuing his quest to make WWE and Vince seem like the scum of the earth because for some reason he hates them both. He also called the Hardy angle the most tasteless of the year. This is one that I just do not get. Ok, let’s see. The reason the angle was considered in poor taste was Jeff’s past drug issues.

Tell me two things: when was it ever mentioned on WWE television that Jeff had drug issues, and when was it ever mentioned that this incident was drug related? Dang on the freaking broadcast they said he was hit on the head and attacked. It was an angle, nothing more. The drug thing was never mentioned once other than by people on the internet, but of course this is just so tasteless.

We’ll have Vickie Guerrero live off of Eddie’s name and make out with every guy under the freaking sun, but an angle that for all of 16 hours came close to hinting that Jeff might have had a relapse without ever saying it and clearing it up later that night was tasteless? Give me a break. It can be implied that Vince has slept with everything on the face of the earth and has a bastard midget son, but that’s not tasteless.

Women are flat out sex objects and nothing more, but that’s not tasteless. So it’s ok to do all that stuff, but having Jeff Hardy be found unconscious without ever saying what might have happened until on the show where they say he was attacked by a person and not an illegal substance is reprehensible? That’s the most hypocritical thing I’ve ever heard. If Jeff had another relapse, they wouldn’t have mentioned him being found out cold. Vince isn’t that stupid.

This reeked of angle the minute it broke at like 2:30 am the night before a PPV, but of course, it was tasteless right? Give me a freaking break. This is what gives the IWC a bad name: people making a huge deal about absolutely nothing at all when it was so clearly an angle. I said that the night it happened. I said it because it was obvious, but apparently Dave “he is risen again” Meltzer thinks otherwise, so it must be true right?

It doesn’t matter though as he’s barely a wrestling reporter anymore. Sorry I really can’t stand that guy. He does what all of us do and makes a fortune off of it. I’m sure someone will yell at me and tell me how brilliant he is, but no, not really. He’s good, but overrated. Ok, rant over for now at least.

Oh and it was revealed that Matt, Jeff’s brother, was behind everything. Jeff would win the title the next month in a freaking shocker anyway.

We jump from that to a recap of Jericho and Cena, which wasn’t really a feud but WWE kept trying to convince us of that anyway. Jericho had stolen the title at Unforgiven but as soon as Cena was announced as returning, the inevitable was clear. Oh and Batista got the world title for a week for no apparent reason in between. That’s about it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

The ending here is about as obvious as you could imagine. Cena’s pop is massive here. They try to make it sound like Cena has been out for a year when it’s been about three months or less. Jericho works on the neck, which here at least makes sense. I get it three months after an injury, but when they reference it a year and a half later, it loses its effect quite a bit. This is really formula based stuff but it’s working ok.

Cena has an early flurry and then Jericho takes over for the majority of the match, working the neck as much as he can. There’s nothing wrong with that as it’s the same thing that worked for Hogan for years if not decades. Jericho’s three finishers all hit and of course none of them work. This is the longest match of the night but it’s likely going to have the least amount said about it. There’s little drama here and after that initial pop, the crowd has been ok at best.

This crowd has completely sucked all night long. Naturally, Cena survives everything and hits the massive FU to get the title back despite Jericho hitting everything he could on him. That closes the show, which is exactly what it should have been.

Rating: B. This was good enough. There was zero drama, but they didn’t bury Jericho. Cena certainly should have won as Jericho was just keeping the title warm for him for awhile anyway. There’s nothing wrong with that. Jericho was a horrible champion anyway and always has been, so this wasn’t a big deal at all. Cena was clearly going to win, and sometimes that’s how shows should end.

Overall Rating: C-. This had its moments, but overall it’s just not that great. With six matches you run the risk of messing up on one or two of them and screwing the whole show up which I think is what this show did. Having Hardy be pulled probably wasn’t the smartest thing in the world as I guess they didn’t want to take the spotlight away from Cena. I get that, but it’s still a good bit of a bait and switch which is the most annoying thing that a promoter can do.

It’s not as bad as Randy vs. Jake in 91, but it’s far from good. Anyway, this wasn’t a great show at all and it pales in comparison to 07. Still, it’s not awful, but it’s certainly not worth going out of your way to see. Not really recommended.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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