Unforgiven 2005
Date: September 18, 2005
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the return of the Unforgiven series and we have a match that people would be drooling over today in the main event: Cena vs. Angle for the title. The idea is simple: Cena is champ, Angle went on a tear as the best in the world and the question is can Cena beat him. Why we’re in Oklahoma City for a PPV is beyond me but I guess it’s a JR thing. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect: no one is forgiven, tonight we’re all unforgiven, whatever.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Carlito

They gave away the ending of this weeks in advance, talking about how this was the one title Flair had never won. Carlito spat apple on Flair to set this up. Feeling out process to start and Flair takes him over with a headlock. Coach and Lawler argue hair and Carlito struts a bit. Flair really likes that hammerlock as he’s used it three times now. DANG that was a loud chop.

Flair chops away some more and this really isn’t that entertaining of a match. Could it be that one of the people in it was born in the 40s? Carlito sends him to the floor and goes after the arm. The shoulder goes into the post on the floor as we’re told Flair left dinner last night at 9pm. Hey I need something to fill in this space. Back in the ring it’s more arm work and Carlito pounds away with left hands.

There’s the backdrop and Flair lands on his shoulder as always. Single arm DDT gets two. Flair fires back and drops the knee. There’s another LOUD chop and Flair goes up. Dude, seriously, you’re smarter than this. IT ACTUALLY WORKS!!! Flair hits the chop (JR calls it a clothesline for some reason) and the fans give him a standing ovation. That’s hilarious. Flair goes up again and gets caught in a dropkick to keep the universe from exploding. Carlito goes off and gets the apple and we get a unique ending. Flair punches Carlito, making him choke on the apple so that the Figure Four can give him the title.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here and the majority of it was fun, but Flair winning a title at 56 or however old he is here isn’t something I can really get behind. There are so many people that could have won it but instead we get a tribute to him for….what exactly? It’s not horrible but I really don’t get this decision at all.

Flair gives an acceptance speech. He says it means as much as any of the 16 world titles. He gets two plants out of the audience to party with him.

Carlito has nothing to say and Flair gets more women.

Lita is in the back with Edge and they talk about how long she was cheating on Matt. Sex is implied.

Torrie Wilson/Victoria vs. Ashley Massaro/Trish Stratus

Torrie and Victoria are in some stupid Diva heel stable with Candace Michelle who would hook up with Vince for like 5 minutes. Trish is returning from an injury that kept her out for five months. Naturally they let her keep the title that whole time. Ashley is making her PPV debut here and we start with Trish vs. Victoria which is easily the best possible pairing. Off to Ashley and things get bad quickly.

Torrie and Candace cheat and Victoria hits a slingshot legdrop. Thankfully we’re letting Trish get the hot tag later which is by far the best possible idea. Off to a chinlock for a bit and then it’s time for Torrie vs. Ashley, which I don’t think anyone wants to see. Well, no one under the age of 22 that is. The nice girls do the unseen tag thing and Victoria beats on Ashley a bit more. She goes up and gets crotched before it’s hot tag to Trish. Trish does her usual stuff but throws in a spinebuster to mix things up. The Chick Kick ends Victoria.

Rating: D-. Trish in shorts is always a good thing but the match was just worthless. Ashley just wasn’t any good but was here because someone thought she looked good or whatever. The match was nothing and I’m sure everyone knew that was going to be the case. The heel Diva team never did anything and again, I don’t think anyone expected them to do anything.

Flair, who hasn’t even had a shower, has a bottle of champagne and is getting into the limo with the girls. They get in but Flair stays behind and pulls out some pills, and yes…..Naitch has discovered Viagara.

ZZ Top is here.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

One of the dangers of doing these reviews is running into matches like this one with zero backstory at all. I’m really hoping we get an explanation here because I don’t think I’m going to be able to make myself care about it otherwise. Ok so apparently Snitsky jumped Show with the bell but we get cut off by a brawl so we have to stop the flashback. Show throws him around with ease so Snitsky tries to walk.

Show does the SHHH bit and Snitsky is in trouble. Well it worked well the first time so let’s do it again. Show’s charge into the post misses and he clotheslines the steel. We actually go to the flashback while Snitsky has a hold on Show. It’s an armlock so at least he’s thinking. Snitsky manages a belly to back suplex which was pretty impressive. It only gets two but still it looked good.

Snitsky can’t keep him down so he goes back to the arm because that’s worked so well thus far. Ok so that is actually good psychology but it’s a little boring, especially when we know Snitsky has about as much chance as I do of beating Big Show. Show grabs a spinebuster out of nowhere and both guys are down. Show NIPS UP (holding the rope but still) and I think you know what’s coming now. Splash in the corner sets up the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was under seven minutes and that’s the best thing that could have happened to it. They just did power stuff and the arm worked helped it a little bit. It’s not a good match or anything but it could have been a lot worse, which is why the keeping it short was a great thing. Snitsky was pretty worthless after his debut feud with Kane though.

Show clocks Snitsky with the bell post match in a pretty heelish move. Then he does it again.

There’s steam on the windows of Flair’s limo.

We recap Masters vs. Michaels. Masters was new at this point and did the Masterlock Challenge and Michaels couldn’t break the hold.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Kerwin White

White is Chavo Guerrero who is a golfer and I kid you not, a guy that is very proud of being a middle class white guy. His theme song is about picket fences and soccer moms. He would soon get a caddy named Nick Nemeth who is currently known as Dolph Ziggler. Kerwin’s catchphrase during this period: “If it’s not White, it’s not right.” I mean….WOW. Also, I kid you not, he’s fighting Shelton because Shelton isn’t white. Are you starting to get why people weren’t thrilled with this era?

Shelton rips the sweater off White and the beating is on for the blonde Guerrero. Yes he’s blonde here. Nothing going on to start until Shelton misses a shot and White goes after the knee. Kerwin hooks what we would call the Brock Lock and we intentionally cut to Spanish commentary for some reason. More leg work gets a two count and a Chavo Sucks chant. White charges into a Samoan Drop and both guys are down.

A slugout is won by Shelton who gets two on a backbreaker. Shelton’s leg is ok enough to go up now but he gets crotched. Even the announcers point out how stupid going up there was. Kerwin hits a superplex for two. There’s a half crab to eat up a few seconds. Shelton rolls through into a catapult and White grabs the golf club (wasn’t this a PG show?) but walks into Shelton’s T-Bone Exploder suplex for the pin.

Rating: C-. Shelton was awesome at this point and was probably on the roll of his life but would get lazy and stuck in the midcard forever. Not bad here but the White gimmick was just freaking horrible. I have no idea who thought it was a good idea but they need to be dragged outside and put into that gimmick themselves. That’ll teach them.

Matt says mean things about Lita and recaps the feud with Edge. Matt and Lita dated in real life and she had a real life affair with Edge, setting up this feud. It’s pretty easily the high point of Matt’s singles career and this is probably his biggest match ever. He kept running in on Edge in the back and beat him up, even mentioning Ring of Honor on Raw once as he was being arrested.

A video says what I just said.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

This is a cage match. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Edge is Mr. Money in the Bank at the moment. They lock it up to start and slug it out with Edge almost going into the cage. Edge takes over with right hands and this feels epic. He goes for the top of the cage quickly but Matt makes the save. Edge goes for the door but Matt takes him down and hooks a headlock. In a cage match?

Edge takes over with a bunch of right hands and Matt is in trouble. Another escape attempt fails and a clothesline puts Edge down. Twist of Fate is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Escape attempt #4 in less than 5 minutes doesn’t work and Matt almost hits a Side Effect from the top rope. Instead Matt is shoved off and a missile dropkick puts Matt down. The idea is that in their previous match at Summerslam, Matt took so many shots to the head that he couldn’t continue.

Edge works on the back of the head and mocks Matt with the V.1 hand sign. Matt looks out of it but that’s a normal day for him so maybe there isn’t much to worry about. There’s a DDT and Matt is in trouble. Edge powerbombs him into the cage and then drops him on his back. This is domination at this point. There’s a Buckle Bomb and Matt looks like he ate some bad fish. Edge adds a big boot and Matt is looking a little dead.

Matt gets in a shot and tries for a quick escape, but gets caught in a top rope powerbomb to kill him even further. This has been a great beating so far. Edge crawls over for two and the fans are shocked. Matt tries whatever he can think of, this time in the form of biting the hands of Edge. Gee Matt I know you like eating but come on now. Matt drops him on the top buckle and dodges a spear, sending Edge into the middle rope. A Side Effect gets two.

Edge goes again but Matt saves one more time. Lita slides in the briefcase but Matt ducks and Edge is tied in the ropes. Matt GOES OFF and the fans erupt. There’s a slingshot into the cage and there’s a bulldog onto the case. Edge gets rammed into all four sides of the cage and is busted open. Lita tries to climb in and Matt shoves her off to the floor. The blood is flowing out of Edge.

Matt picks up the MITB case and goes up but Edge shoves the referee into Matt to crotch him. A spear puts Matt down and Edge climbs. Matt pops up and hits a HUGE Side Effect off the top to put them both down. Lita tries to get in with a chair but Jack Doan keeps her out. Matt covers but Lita comes in anyway and breaks things up.

With Edge down, Matt gets the big shot in on Lita with a Twist of Fate. Edge pops up with a spear for two and the place goes NUTS. Edge goes up but Matt makes the save. He climbs to the top and like a true Hardy, gets way too high and messes up his push while blaming everyone from his employer to his butcher for his problems.. Or he drops a leg on Edge from the top of the page to pin him. You pick which it really was.

Rating: A. Like I said, it’s Matt’s best match ever. By that I mean it’s his best match ever, not the best match he’s ever been in (translation: TLC 2 doesn’t count because it was a tag match). Great storytelling here but it still wasn’t the blowoff as they had a ladder match on Raw that Edge won to send Matt to Smackdown. If this had ended it though, Matt would have been a world title contender.

Cena is getting taped up when Bischoff, Angle’s boss/whatever, comes up and says Angle will win tonight. The idea was Eric kept trying to find his guy to screw Cena over while WWE tried to find a way to recreate Austin vs. McMahon. Cena tapes Eric’s mouth shut.

Edge tries to stagger out but can’t quite do it.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Rosey/The Hurricane

Earlier today the southern boys say they’ve beaten the champions before and they’ll do it again. Cade and Murdoch are a brand new team, forming like ten days before this. Naturally they’re the #1 contenders. You can see a bunch of fans going to get popcorn during this one. Hurricane vs. Cade gets us going and the champs clear the ring quickly. Hurricane headscissors Murdoch to the floor as we talk about country music.

Hurricane hits a missile dropkick and it’s off to Rosey. Lawler points out the stupidity of having a place that loves country music asked to boo a pair of country boys. Cade takes over on Rosey as Murdoch goes to hit on Lillian. Well to her credit she looks great tonight. Hurricane saves her but Murdoch gets a SICK elevated DDT to the floor on storm boy.

Rosey takes over but misses a splash in the corner to put him down. We finally get a trainer down here as the match falls apart. Cade cheats some on the floor as Hurricane is carried out. Like an idiot he comes back and tags in, only to get clotheslined a few seconds later for the pin.

Rating: D. Isn’t this what Raw is for? The tag titles were far less valuable back then than they are now and the country boys would break up like a month later. This was nothing but that DDT on the floor looked great. This was probably better than most tag title matches around this time, but it was still terribly uninteresting which might as well be printed on the belts.

The girls get out of the limo in Flair’s robe. She flashes him and gets back in.

Maria can’t get Chris Masters’ name right but he says it’s because he looks like something made by Michaelangelo. And yes, that draws a rendition of the TMNT theme song from her.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters

Masters is undefeated here. Shawn does his in ring entrance but Masters grabs him in the Masterlock (full nelson) before the bell rings. See, why don’t more people get that idea? The bell rings and Shawn counters this time. Shawn takes over and dives to the floor, hitting a bunch of right hands after a plancha connects. Masters is sent into the steps as the idea is he’s shaken up from never being tested before.

Shawn grabs a chair but gets it taken away, allowing Masters to get a shot in to take over. Masters is put into a powerbomb position and rammed back first into the post twice. Back in the ring Masters takes over and drops a leg for two. A delayed vertical gets two. Michaels can’t get anything going because of his back and the power of Masters. Off to a backbreaker but Masters holds Shawn over the knee for a submission attempt.

Shawn tries a crucifix but Masters counters into a full nelson attempt. Instead here’s a torture rack and the referee goes old school by checking the arm. Shawn counters into a sunset flip for two. Masters is bleeding from the nose. Here’s the Masterlock but Shawn goes rudo and kicks Masters low while he’s got the referee distracted. A slugout is won by HBK and there’s the forearm (called the Flying Burrito by JR) followed by the nipup.

The top rope elbow hits and it’s time to stomp the mat loudly to let my opponent know that his finisher is coming. Like clockwork Masters ducks and hooks the Masterlock. Shawn fights to the corner and gets over the top rope somehow, forcing a break. Masters tries the hold again but Shawn escapes and there’s the superkick for the pin. Shawn collapsing after getting the pin is always a nice touch.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as Shawn does his usual stuff but still pulls out a good match. He knew timing, which is what so many wrestlers have no clue about. He knew how to make his comebacks mean stuff and played everything to perfection. Good stuff which you never see from most young guys because it’s not important to learn in the eyes of the trainers today.

Flair gets out of the limo with his tights half down. He tilts his head back for the WOO and collapses in a Flair Flop. Funny stuff.

We recap Auscena vs. McBischoff. Cena had already beaten Jericho to get rid of him so Bischoff brought in Angle next. Angle destroyed Cena time after time and this is the big showdown.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Cena has a bad ankle coming into this. Angle takes over to start but Cena grabs a hip toss to send Angle to the floor. Angle takes it to the mat which is exactly what you would expect. Off to a headlock to fill in some time. Kurt bails again and the fans are getting into this. Back in Cena gets a slam and two elbows for two. Sidewalk slam gets two. Angle wakes up and snaps off a release German to take over.

There’s a camel clutch by Angle but Cena fights out and gets most of a sunset flip for two. Angle grabs a belly to belly and Cena is in trouble. Kurt goes with a waistlock and then a body scissors to work over the ribs. A DDT gets Cena out of it and both guys are down. They slug it out which is won by Cena. That makes sense as they’ve been pushing the fighter vs. the wrestler here.

A suplex gets two for the champ. Angle rolls through the FU into the ankle lock but Cena rolls through into a spinebuster for two. The FU is countered into a belly to back suplex but it’s called the Angle Slam because Kurt spun about 80 degrees. That gets two and it’s time for the ankle lock. Cena rolls through again and there’s the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle gets two.

Angle gets sent into the referee and the FU gets no count as a result. Kurt kicks Cena low and hits Cena with the medal. Instead of covering he hits Cena in the ankle with the gold and hooks the ankle lock as Eric comes out. Eric puts the title in Cena’s face and Cena gets to a rope because he’s kind of stupid at this point. Anyway Cena rolls through and sends Angle into Eric as Eric is about to call for the bell. Cena clocks Angle with the belt and it’s a DQ win for Kurt. Weak.

Rating: B-. The match was ok but the ending hurt it. Also at this point Cena just wasn’t ready for a match this big. He was really young and he just wasn’t good enough to hang with a guy like Angle yet. In a year or so he would be but at this point it just wasn’t there yet. The ending hut it a lot too as it was weak. Kurt vs. Cena would happen two more times with Cena finally winning the feud at Survivor Series.

Post match Eric says it doesn’t matter what the rules says because…and there’s an FU as Cena shrugs off being in the ankle lock for about two minutes. Angle attacks Cena but Cena gets the better of it and puts Angle through the table with an FU.

Overall Rating: B-. Nice surprise here as these B shows are usually awful. We got a good show out of it though with a great cage match and some other good stuff. A lot of it is your usual dreck on these single branded shows though so if you watch it, make sure you have a remote in your hand to skip some of the really dull stuff, of which there’s a good deal. The big matches are good though, which is all you can ask for.

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Unforgiven 2002
Date: September 22, 2002
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show I forgot existed. It’s in a pretty weak time for the company as the world title had split less than three weeks before this. The main events are RVD challenging HHH and Taker challenging Brock for the Smackdown title. Other than that we have Stephanie performing Hot Lesbian Action and Benoit vs. Angle. I can’t wait to get to that Benoit and Angle so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how cool it is to have two world title matches. Man would that voiceover chick be disappointed today.

The theme song is Adrenaline from XXX so I can’t complain there.

Un-Americans vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Kane/Booker T/Goldust

Just an 8 man tag here to make the fans be all happy to see evil foreigners (is Dudleyville in America?) lose. I guess Spain isn’t an evil foreign country anymore. Storm and Christian are the Raw tag champs here. Goldust is the hometown boy here and he starts with Christian. Goldie cleans house and it’s off to Bubba vs. Storm. Bubba has no issues abusing some foreigners and a flapjack gets two.

Test comes in to beat on Goldie a bit so JR talks about having breakfast. Booker comes in to a big pop (he was on fire at this point) and beats up Test. Regal has about the same luck, getting caught in What’s Up. And it’s table time! I wonder what would happen if Bubba didn’t have an underling to tell to get the tables.

Booker gets beaten down again as we’re just waiting on the hot tag to Kane who is on a huge roll at this point. That shows why he’s in the opening 8 man tag I guess. How dare he get on a roll like that? Christian comes in for a chinlock but Goldust makes the save. Booker grabs the sweet spinning sunset flip out of the corner and a spinebuster for two.

Here’s Kane who looks a lot slimmer than I remember him. He destroys everything in sight like any good monster. Everything breaks down and everyone snaps off their finishers (including a Spinarooni and Shattered Dreams to Christian) and a chokeslam to Storm ends this after Kane knocks the brass knucks out of Regal’s hand.

Rating: C+. Just an 8 man tag here but the ending was fun and the fans are into things now. There’s very little you can do that will get fans going more than playing to their patriotism and this did that in droves. Wrestling fans are a very patriotic bunch and if you don’t believe me, just as the Real American.

Stephanie gives Billy and Chuck a pep talk. The idea is that if they lose, Stephanie has to make out with some chick. If they win, Eric has to kiss her….uh…..yeah you get the idea.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Flair beat him last month to set this up. Jericho is champion and is the heel. Flair isn’t a total mess yet and could still have a mostly watchable match at this point. In order to set this up. Flair lost to Rico on Raw. What that has to do with this is beyond me and how it makes him look like a challenger to Jericho is beyond me too but whatever. Figure Four is countered quickly and a baseball slide puts Flair down on the outside.

Missile dropkick gets two and I’ll leave it up to you to figure out who hit that. JR and Lawler are talking about how Flair has to be about ready to retire. How scary is it that Flair is still technically active while Jericho has retired for all intents and purposes? Abdominal stretch goes on but Flair escapes and turns it into a brawl, sending Jericho into the railing and then back inside. He can still do his basic stuff which is enough to keep things going well enough.

It’s time for the knee but the Figure Four is countered into a small package for two. Lionsault misses and Jericho might have jammed his knee. Jericho says he’s injured and asks Flair for mercy but of course he’s fine. He grabs the Walls and Flair has to give it up for the pretty surprising submission. A heel just won a match with a submission against a big name opponent. That’s not something I was expecting.

Rating: C-. The idea here is that Flair has lost a step which I think everyone knew coming in. That’s an old Flair trick but Flair fell for it here, which is to say he’s not thinking as much out there. Now why did we need to have a title match on PPV for that? Also, Flair actually tapped out to a move? That just doesn’t fit at all.

Bischoff tells 3 Minute Warning to win tonight for Bischoff’s sake. Rico will be in their corner tonight.

Shaq is here.

Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is about respect or something. Also Edge caused Rikishi to give Eddie some Stinkfaces. Eddie runs to start and suckers Edge in to take over. And scratch that as he walks into a powerslam for two. Eddie tops that with a SWEET tornado DDT for two. He hooks on a unique submission where he’s in the position for a victory roll but hooks the arms back on the mat and works on the neck.

Belly to back gets two for Eddie and he hooks a front facelock to keep the attack on the neck. Simple psychology but it works. Eddie pounds away but Edge knocks his block off with a right hand and both guys are down. That was quite a right hand as it keeps both guys down for a count of six. A spear attempt eats corner and Eddie is all fired up. Edge gets a pair of rollups for four and a neckbreaker to put both guys down again.

Edge starts his comeback with his usual stuff but it’s a lot more crisp as he hasn’t injured his neck for the first time here so he’s a lot faster than you might be accustomed to. Eddie grabs a jawbreaker and the fans seem to be behind Edge here. Latino Heat tries a springboard rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two. Another spear misses but Edge grabs the Edgecution for two. Edge misses a missile dropkick and Eddie loosens a buckle. Eddie gets sent into said buckle and speared into the corner. They go up and Eddie hits a sunset bomb with the tights for the pin.

Rating: B. This was very fun stuff and the ending was the right move with Eddie cheating to win the match also. There are arguments to have either guy win here but Edge losing was a nice surprise and the match was excellent fast paced stuff that is probably going to be the best match of the night until Benoit vs. Angle.

HHH goes to see RVD and says Rob doesn’t have the fire in him or something. Flair is there too and gets made fun of as well. Trash talking isn’t RVD’s strong suit.

We recap 3 Minute Warning vs. Billy and Chuck. This was one of those things that only happens in wrestling and soap operas. So Billy and Chuck were going to have a “commitment ceremony” (and yes it’s exactly what it sounds like) and the justice of the peace was really old. He started talking about how this could last and said it could be three minutes. He then changed his voice and pulled his face off, revealing that it was Bischoff in a prosthetic mask. The fat guys (Jamal and Rosey) beat up Billy and Chuck after that. Stephanie did the same on Raw and the match happened as a result.

Billy and Chuck vs. 3 Minute Warning

Here they’re just Rosey and Jamal but the 3 minute idea was still around. Jamal is more famous as Umaga. The fight starts immediately and Rico kicks Chuck in the head to take over. Rosey vs. Chuck starts us off. Cole talks about all of the people that 3 Minute Warning has beaten up, calling them a who’s who of wrestling: Shawn Stasiak, D’Lo Brown, Mini-dust, lesbians, Mae Young and Moolah just to name a few. I’m not here any more. I’m over there. That blew me away.

This is the fat boys’ debut and the fans make gay chants at Rico. A middle rope moonsault misses Chuck and this isn’t an incredibly interesting match. Billy comes in and cleans house but then tries to ram the Samoans’ heads together. And people wonder why he gets made fun of. Anyway, Rosey goes up for a splash but Chuck saves….by throwing him off the top with the hopes that Billy isn’t there anymore I guess. Jamal cleans house and superkicks Chuck but walks into a Fameasser. Rico comes in for a distraction and a Samoan Drop ends Billy to set up HLA later.

Rating: D. Well this was uh…..pointless? Why did this need to happen on PPV again? The match wasn’t very good at all and was just here to set up an angle later on in the night, which I’m sure won’t have any shenanigans at all. Billy and Chuck would split very soon after this after losing in the first round of the Smackdown tag title tournament.

Bischoff is very happy and various lesbians want to kiss Stephanie. They just all happen to be young and attractive. Most lesbians I know really aren’t.

We recap HHH vs. RVD. HHH was awarded the first World Heavyweight Championship and Van Dam won a fatal fourway elimination match to get the shot.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. HHH

HHH is clean shaven and the look isn’t really working for him. Feeling out process to start and Jerry implies RVD is high. Jerry makes more pot jokes as HHH takes over using power moves. HHH heads to the floor so RVD gets a bottle of water from somewhere and does the HHH spit. They’re still in the opening part here as it’s back and forth stuff with no one really trying anything big yet.

Van Dam uses his kicks to get two and we’re back on the mat with the headlock again. Rob tries a big dive to the floor but HHH just steps to the side and Van Dam crashes HARD, giving us our first major advantage. HHH beats on him out there a bit which gets two back in the ring. They go to the floor and RVD takes over by ramming HHH into the table. High knee gets two for the champ.

HHH goes up top and gets caught. Well he is a Flair student after all. HHH hooks up a sleeper which he was using a lot more often at this point. Van Dam gets a kick in to take over and they slug it out a bit. Modified rolling thunder gets two. Van Dam does his rolling monkey flip out of the corner and a middle rope kick out of the corner sets up Rolling Thunder for two.

Van Dam dives out to the floor and HHH is in trouble. A top rope kick (it’s that one footed dropkick that he hits all the time) gets two. Trips grabs a facebuster but down goes the referee. RVD takes him down but there’s no referee. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot and RVD is feeling froggy. What exactly is froggy? Does he want to eat bugs? The splash hits but there’s no referee again. A low blow puts Rob down and it’s sledgehammer time. Here’s Flair, the guy HHH called old and worthless earlier…and of course he hits Rob with the hammer and a Pedigree keeps the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. It’s ok but that’s being generous. There’s just nothing going on here and the turn makes almost no sense at all. This would be the beginning of the Evolution period and it feels like the show should end here, but we’ve got well over an hour to go. That shot of HHH standing tall with Flair would be the scene for about a year and a half and it got really dull really fast.

D’Lo Brown and Kidman are in the back when a guy from the Young and the Restless comes up. Brown is a soap opera geek apparently. He wants to know if there’s something going on on the side but the actor says he’s a married man. Dawn Marie comes up and takes him away. This might be the most pointless scene in WWE history. Let that sink in for a minute.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

It’s not Time to Rock and Roll yet and Molly is probably going to be cannon fodder to give Trish another reign. Typical Diva stuff to start with Trish being 26 and mostly awesome at this point. This is during the Molly is a Virgin thing and Jerry implies he’d like to pop her. Molly takes over and rams Trish’s head into the steps. The announcers take a chance to talk about where the show is airing, which is a giveaway that the match is just filler.

Molly puts on a chinlock and we’re running with an anchor. JR isn’t happy that Stephanie is going to have to perform HLA. Small package gets two for Trish. A bulldog out of nowhere gets two. It didn’t use the ropes though so I guess kicking out of it is ok. Chick Kick gets two. Molly hits a handspring corner smash for two. Trish gets sent into the ropes and comes off with the Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog for the pin.

Rating: D-. It doesn’t fail because Trish looks good in tight pants. This was so boring I could barely stand sitting through it. The whole division was pretty awful until it got to Trish vs. Lita every month and we added some more girls like Gail and Mickie (who really helped it). Still though, this was boring filler.

Trish is happy.

Bischoff and Rico party with the lesbians. Rico leaves with 3 Minute Warning and the girls. Weren’t they lesbians? Two of the chicks stay behind to do the stuff with Stephanie later.

We recap Angle vs. Benoit and does this really need a recap? Angle got a Stinkface and Benoit thought it was funny so Angle got mad. Another feud began. Benoit got a Stinkface thanks to Angle and the match was made.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

The YOU SUCK chants are extra loud tonight. They go to the mat quickly after hitting the floor and you know I can’t keep up with these two. A Crossface attempt doesn’t work and it’s a standoff. Ankle lock attempt has the same result. We get an INCREDIBLE pinfall reversal sequence that ends in a Crossface attempt and Kurt hits the floor to a round of applause from the fans.

Kurt finally is like screw this and throws Benoit to the floor. Back in and Kurt hooks a body vice but Benoit grabs the leg into a submission of his own. Benoit avoids a charge and Kurt goes into the post twice. As you might expect him to do, Benoit goes right for the bad shoulder but walks into a belly to belly to break the momentum. This is a chess match as you would expect from these two. The question is how high can it get on the classic scale.

The Canadian hits some Germans on the American but the American counters the Canadian’s German to hit some American Germans on the Canadian but the Canadian counters into a German on the American but the American counters the Canadian to hit three Germans on the Canadian and everyone is down. That gets another round of applause.

Angle Slam is countered but Chris gets a release German to send Angle flying onto his face to put both guys down again. Benoit sets for the swan dive but Angle runs the corner and hits the belly to belly for two. AWESOME stuff here. Ankle lock is countered quickly and Benoit gets him into a tombstone position but drops into a shoulderbreaker. See, THAT is smart.

Swan dive hits but Benoit can’t cover immediately. Kurt kicks out so Benoit throws the Crossface on…..but Angle grabs the ankle lock WHILE HE’S STILL IN THE CROSSFACE! WOW. Ankle lock goes on but Benoit reverses into the Crossface which is reversed into the ankle lock but Benoit grabs the rope. Angle hooks a Crossface on Benoit and pushes the rope away with his foot. Benoit rolls through the Crossface and rolls Kurt up, putting his own feet on the ropes to steal the pin. He was still a tweener/heel at this point so it’s ok.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Benoit vs. Angle. Were you expecting anything less than this? This was a very fun match and some of the counters and thinking they were using out there was incredible, especially the ankle lock while in the Crossface. This was their usual masterpiece and somehow their match in January was even better which blows my mind every time I think about it.

Lesnar and Heyman say it’s been personal with Undertaker and it started when Taker tried to take the title from him in the first place.

Time for HLA! Fink: “Accompanied by THE LESBIANS”. And again, most lesbians do not look like this. The girls are about to kiss but Eric says he’s changed his mind. He brings out Stephanie who looks good here too. The song talking about her coming from the grime and grit takes away from it though. Bischoff implies a threesome with the two lesbians and the crowd is happy. Lawler is losing it. Stephanie has her jacket taken off and Eric says she should need a massage. The blonde goes to kiss Stephanie and Bischoff changes his mind again, sending the girls to the back.

Stephanie has to stay because Bischoff has a special lesbian in mind. He brings out “the fattest, ugliest, most repulsive I could find.” Lawler: “Not Rosie!” Ok point for a funny line. Here’s the chick and yeah it’s Rikishi in drag. You know, because Bischoff is so blind that he just didn’t notice right? The announcers don’t recognize him because good people in wrestling are idiots. Her name is Hildegard. I give up. She’s been in prison too. Can we just get to Bischoff’s Stinkface already?

By the way, this is what we mean when we say insulting to the fans’ intelligence. Stephanie kisses him hard and Bischoff freaks. Superkick to Bischoff and the makeup/prostheics/wig come off. There’s the Stinkface and oh good night he’s wearing a bra. We got Benoit vs. Angle cut off for this? Tell me, who finds this kind of stuff funny or witty? So let me get this straight: either Stephanie planned ALL of this (and to say that requires a lot of stretching is an understatement) or Bischoff is the stupidest man of all time. I’m going with somewhere in the middle.

Brock vs. Taker gets the music video treatment. Taker is Brock’s first challenger after Brock took the title from The Rock at Summerslam. Taker’s wife (Sara, not Michelle) got involved and Brock stalked her to make this personal. This included the worst chair shot ever as the chair might have come within a foot of Taker’s head It looked awful. The point of the video is Brock destroys legends and Taker has been around for ten years (12 at this point but with a company that put on that previous segment, counting might be a bit much to ask). At least the song is catchy.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock goes right up to Taker and Taker shoves him back. They exchange power displays to start and Taker wins early. Brock is hot on the floor after a headlock gets broken. They have a lot of time here. Taker busts out an armdrag of all things and they keep up their power match. Old School puts Brock down and Taker kicks Heyman off the apron, but it lets Brock get in a shot to shift momentum again. Not much to see here so far.

The champ hammers on the ribs and does it for awhile. Taker is wearing white socks which kind of takes away the intimidation factor. Powerslam gets two. It’s nice to see a power guy hitting a powerslam for a change. Brock puts on a waistlock and for some reason Taker tries it take it to the mat. Taker can’t get out of it and Brock is totally cool with having it be a wrestling match instead of a fight.

Taker sends him to the floor and starts hammering away and a right hand sends Brock outside. They head to the floor and Heyman distracts the referee so Lesnar can hit Taker with the belt. Taker is bleeding. Back inside, Taker fires back with the clothesline/splash in the corner. Heyman: “WATCH OUT!!!” Chokeslam is broken up but a big boot gets two. Snake Eyes set up another big boot for two.

There goes the referee because what would a main event be without a ref bump? Chokeslam hits but, say it with me, there’s no referee. Here’s Matt Hardy to jump Taker (he was working for Brock or against Taker or something at this point. Not that it’s explained or anything) and he takes a Last Ride. Spinebuster gets two for Brock as does a DDT for the challenger.

Tombstone is loaded up but Brock escapes and the referee goes down again. Heyman sends in a chair but Taker kicks Brock in the face to make him drop the chair. Brock gets his head caved in and the chair looked diseased. Brock is busted now and the referee is up now. Taker drops a leg for two and a big pop. Last Ride is countered as is the F5. They slug it out and the referee gets caught in the middle….and it’s a double DQ. Oh my goodness the fans aren’t happy.

Rating: D+. The ending crippled this as the fans were fired up by the match and then the ending crippled it. Taker allegedly didn’t want to job to Brock so he had to job to him at the next PPV inside the Cell in one of the most bloody and gruesome matches in there. This wasn’t horrible but man that ending sucked. Have Heyman cheat to win or something like that but dude, not that ending.

Post match they fight up the aisle and Brock is thrown through the Unforgiven sign to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Well Angle vs. Benoit is excellent and Edge vs. Guerrero is very good. That alone makes it a worthwhile show but other than that, there isn’t much to see. Nothing is all that horrible but the HLA stuff is dumb and the ending to the main event sucked. Good show overall but the ending huts it a lot.

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 2011
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Booker T

It’s the final show before Night of Champions and other than the IC Title I think we’re all set for Sunday. I haven’t heard anything announced for tonight but it almost has to be better than Raw was. Orton vs. Henry will get pushed even more and to their credit I’m kind of interested in seeing how that match plays out, which is something I never would have bet on when it was announced. Let’s get to it.

We open with the return of Edge who gets the monster hometown boy pop. He’s here tonight to host the Cutting Edge with Henry and Orton. Edge talks about missing coming through the curtain and it feels good to be back. It feels better to be back here in his hometown of Smackdown. He misses being in the ring and competing and being in the back with his friends however more than anything he misses the fans.

Edge talks about having the Cutting Edge tonight and he won’t pull any punches. That’s later though. Right now….and here’s Cody to cut him off. Cody says Edge is probably here to talk about Haven which airs tonight on SyFy after Smackdown (Cody’s plug, not mine) but since Edge didn’t do that, it sounds like he’s sucking up to the people. He suggests the fans all need paper bags.

Edge says maybe it’s Cody that needs a bag instead of the people. Maybe it’s Cody that is ugly and disfigured. Cody says the last time he saw Edge he was walking out of Mania as world champion but Cody has become IC Champion since then and has gotten rid of DiBiase. Also he beat Orton on Monday. Cody pulls out a bag for Edge and says to take it home and put it in his office because it’s a reminder that Cody is the new face of Smackdown. Edge hands it back, saying Cody needs it more.

Cody says that makes no sense. Edge says no it doesn’t and neither does the idea that Dusty fathered him. That’s rather true. Edge goes to leave but Cody screams to have the music cut off. Cody FREAKS, shouting about how he’s better than the crowd and he’s going to give the crowd paper bags. “You need a bag. You need a bag. You need two bags.” Then a fan with a bag punches him and takes his bag off to reveal Ted DiBiase. Ted beats him up and beats down the baggers as well. Ted’s music plays as Cody leaves. I guess that’s the IC Title match. Good intensity from Ted.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This is the rematch from a few weeks ago where Cara beat down Bryan post match. Bryan says Cara can be all aggressive tonight and he’ll be fine with it. Bryan charges straight at him with a flying knee and Cara is in trouble early. He tries another charge though and Cara gets a shot in to block the suicide dive. Cara sends him to the floor and Bryan is holding a lot of parts in pain.

After a break we have Cara holding a leg lock on Bryan. A flying headbutt to a standing Bryan gets two. Booker: “You can see the anger in Cara’s eyes.” Cole: “HE’S IN A MASK!” Cole 1, Booker 0. Cara tries another dive but jumps into a knee and here comes Danny. Big kick gets two. They go to the corner and Cara gets him in the tree of woe where he stomps away. I mean he stomps a lot. He stomps so much that it’s a DQ at 5:00 shown of 8:30.

Rating: C. Not their best but this was still pretty good. The idea was that Cara was out to injure him instead of being a competitor which is a good change in his heel turn. Bryan at least has something to do but I’d like him to move on to a feud with someone a bit higher up on the card. Maybe that’s coming though.

Cara keeps up the beating until….Sin Cara comes down for the save. There are two Sin Caras and one leaves, I think the imposter.

Ryder doesn’t think Henry can stand next to Orton without attacking him. Teddy implements another no contact order for the Cutting Edge. Ryder has to go tell them. He leaves and Aksana comes in. She gives Teddy a massage, involving him bending over and saying how good it feels. Trish comes in and says she’s been there before. And that’s it.

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Total squash, Glam Slam ends it in 1:15. There’s nothing else to say here. Beth says the time is ticking on Kelly.

Video on Sheamus who is Irish and awesome. This is set to a song which says Too Many Lies but in a slower/more rock style.

Edge and Trish are having a chat about MMA/yoga gloves or something like that. Christian comes up to make it a more Canadian party. Christian has been calling him a lot and Captain Charisma says Edge might have cost him the title. They hug and everything seems cool. He asks Edge to put in a good word with Teddy to get one more match for the title and Edge is like dude, seriously? Edge says Christian is whining again and Christian storms off. Ryder pops up and tells Edge to pass along the messages to Orton and Henry.

Wade Barrett/Christian vs. Justin Gabriel/Sheamus

Barrett has the coat again. Sheamus has new music which is a rockier song. Wait maybe he doesn’t. It sounds different at the beginning but maybe I’m crazy. Sheamus runs them both down pre match with his now usual Irish folk stuff. The former Nexus guys get us going. We talk about Gabriel going bungee jumping as he speeds things up. He tries a springboard move but jumps into a Bossman Slam (Booker: “Big Bubba Rogers!”).

Off to Christian who pounds away on Gabriel and gets a small package and clothesline for two each. Back to Barrett while Cole makes fun of Booker for being a boxing fan. Booker is going to be getting his own WWE.com show soon. Gabriel fires off the kicks but Barreett powers him down again. Sheamus hasn’t been in yet. Christian whips Gabriel back into the heel corner as we take a break.

Back with Gabriel getting beaten down again but grabs an STO on Christian. A double tag brings in Barrett and Sheamus to a big reaction. The Great White (again their terms and not mine) goes up but Christian grabs his foot. That doesn’t work long either as Barrett takes the big shoulder. Christian escapes the Celtic Cross and a Brogue Kick takes Barrett down so that the 450 can end him at 7:05 shown of 10:35.

Rating: C+. This was fine and a nice way to make Sheamus look dominant while not having him really get his hands on Christian yet. That seems like a smaller version of when HHH kept trying to Pedigree Stephanie or when 911 kept wanting to chokeslam Fonzie for you ECW fans out there. Granted it’ll be a much smaller scale.

Sheamus calls Christian into the ring but he bails. Sheamus’ music is the same here so I guess I was hearing things earlier.

Great Khali vs. Heath Slater

I’m really not seeing the One Man Southern Rock Band going anywhere. Much like the Divas earlier, what are you expecting here? Mahal comes out partway through it and speaks whatever language that is and then comes in for the DQ at 1:12.

Khali fights them off but can’t hit the Plunge on Mahal. He beats up Slater instead.

Raw recap eats up about 4-5 minutes.

Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth

Miz and Truth freestyle on the way to the ring. Ok Truth does and Miz shouts YOU SUCK at the right times. They start fast with Truth beating Bourne down pretty easily. Kofi and Miz are on commentary here. Miz makes fun of Kofi wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Kofi gets a good comeback with “You see this championship title right here? Because of this, this is how a champion dresses.” That’s something that needs to be done more often: talk about how the title means you’re the best.

Bourne fires off some kicks and a low hurricanrana which drives Truth’s head into the mat. He sets for Air Bourne but lands on his feet. Truth kicks the leg and hits that jumping downward spiral for the pin at 1:54. That’s a pretty definitive loss for a champion two days before a title match but it makes the challengers look like a real threat. I’ve heard that move is called What’s Up so we’ll go with that.

Time for the Cutting Edge and Edge doesn’t even get a full entrance? Whatsupwitdat? Edge talks about how important Toronto is to him and how he was at Mania 6 and how he won his first title in WWE here in Toronto also. The guests are Henry and Orton so here they are. Remember that while the Cutting Edge is on, there’s no contact allowed or the match is off.

Edge says that’s probably a good thing for Orton to be honest because Henry has been running through people. He asks Orton if Orton believes he can beat Orton. Orton brings up a good point in that Henry has never attacked him when he’s fresh and maybe that’s because Henry knows his best isn’t good enough. Randy doesn’t think he can beat Henry. He knows he can.

Edge says that’s the truth and brings up that Henry has never won a world title and doesn’t know how that’s possible. Getting to a world title means reaching a new level and Edge isn’t sure if Mark can reach that level. Henry says the only reason he’s letting Edge walk out is because Edge is right. He’s seen smaller guys, such as Edge, win countless titles. I thought 30 was a very countable number but that’s just me.

Henry is done smiling and showing personality and is here to take what Orton has. Orton says the match Sunday will sum up Henry’s career: he’ll look good but he’ll be the world’s strongest failure. They stare it down but Edge says to remember the no contact rule. He leaves and Edge says the Cutting Edge is now over.

Orton jumps Henry and gets him down to one knee but Teddy sends out the locker room to break it up. Henry gets in some shots and both guys break free of the others at one point. Orton fights them off (they’re holding him, not attacking him) but runs into the World’s Strongest Slam. Henry adds a splash and make it a pair. He stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This grade is going to fluctuate considering how you look at the show. If you looked at it as a regular show, it was pretty weak. If you looked at it as a go home show, this was pretty solid stuff. I really want to see Orton vs. Henry now because while I have a hunch who will win, I’m really not sure and it could go either way.

On the Raw side, I flat out do not care about Cena vs. Del Rio because they haven’t given me a reason to care. Beth looked dominant, the tag champions are in trouble and I think it’s pretty safe to assume Ted gets the IC Title shot. That’s a pretty good use of two hours so I’ll call this a solid go home show.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Sin Cara via DQ when Cara wouldn’t let Bryan out of the corner
Beth Phoenix b. AJ – Glam Slam
Sheamus/Justin Gabriel b. Christian/Wade Barrett – 450 to Barrett
Great Khali b. Heath Slater via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered
R-Truth b. Evan Bourne – What’s Up

Rebellion 2001
Date: November 3, 2001
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,612
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

I continue my war on Europe here with the next to last European PPV, Rebellion 2001. This is at the very tail end of the Alliance era so the main event is Austin vs. Rock for the title. Well you can’t say they’re giving us a weak main event. This card actually looks great on paper, but I’ve been fooled by stuff like that before. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about Austin vs. Rock. Could it be about anything else? A lot of the audio clips are from the Mania buildup also which is fine. Ross doesn’t exactly seem huge on being here tonight. There’s a WCW Title match tonight with Angle, who just joined the Alliance, challenging Jericho.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Edge

This is in a cage. Well you can’t say they’re starting slowly here. Christian is European Champion here and Edge is IC Champion. Christian won his title the Tuesday before this in America. In other words, the Canadian won the European Title in America but isn’t defending the European Title in Europe against a Canadian but will when he gets back to America. Well it was the WORLD Wrestling Federation.

They’re still brothers at this point. Christian tries to run early on which gets him nowhere. Why couldn’t this be on that Inside the Steel Cage thing I watched recently? Edge misses a spear and his shoulder hits the post. It’s pin, submission or escape here. Back breaker gets two for Christian. It’s weird seeing him in the shirt and with long hair still.

Ross says Edge has spent more time on the canvas than Rembrandt. The match has been going on less than five minutes and he’s already busting out the metaphors. Christian almost gets out but Edge makes the DIVING, yes DIVING I say, save. Almost all Christian here. And of course as I say that Edge gets a release Gordbuster from the middle rope and a cross body for two.

And we hit the chinlock for awhile now. Ross: we would never be argumentative. Paul: I disagree with that. Funny stuff. Another good one: Ross: you never praised Christian this much before he joined the Alliance. Paul: we weren’t paying him then. These two are awesome together. Edge gets a spear out of NOWHERE to put Christian down but he can’t capitalize.

Edgecution gets two. I still like that better as a finisher than the Spear. Edge-O-Matic gets less than three as well. They slug it out and Christian eats cage. Christian gets one leg over the top and that’s about it. In a very fun ending, Christian gets most of the way out as in he needs to drop to get out.

Edge grabs his boots and crotches him against the cage. He takes the tape off his wrists and ties Christian’s boots together and climbs out to win it. That was a nice little ending and it worked much better than most of the other generic endings you usually get. Also nice to see an escape rather than a stupid pin or something.

Rating: C. Pretty basic stuff here but the crowd was into it and things went pretty well here, especially considering it’s not like this is anything special outside of a big house show. The ending really helped it out a lot. A good ending like that can work wonders for something like this and it certainly did here.

We recap Angle joining the Alliance which wound up being a ploy by Vince to make the WWF Team win at Survivor Series.

Chavo is interviewing the Divas tonight. Bill DeMott comes up and says that HE is doing that tonight. These two were fired from the Alliance and were doing some weird fired angle that went nowhere. They’ll do the interviews tonight apparently. Trish has no shirt on and they get all nervous. She suggests they talk to Lita. More on this later I guess. Great.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Hurricane

Heyman’s intro for Hurricane is great stuff. Basic stuff to start so far with nothing really going on early on. Hurricane (Gregory/Shane Helms) is in the Alliance here. This is just going nowhere at all. The bulldog to set up the Worm is blocked. Crowd is more or less dead here. Helms gets a Blockbuster for two.

We get what’s called a Ne-Han in No Mercy from the Hurricane. You cross the other guy’s arms in an X shape and pull back on them like a camel clutch. And then Hurricane lets it go to put on his cape. And so much for that as Scotty gets a DDT and both guys are down. and both guys are down. Kick by Scotty gets two.

Hurricane does a Worm of his own which doesn’t work. Chokeslam gets two. A rollup with ropes gets two. Eye of the Hurricane is blocked into the bulldog and there’s the Worm. I hate that move. Since it’s a chop to the neck after the other guy has forever to get better, it gets the in.

Rating: D. This match sucked. It was just boring on all accounts and the fans could tell. This should have been a dark match so of course they let it go on the actual show. Scotty was over for absolutely no apparent reason. This went nowhere at all and was boring beyond belief. Also, the freaking Worm got the pin. Get on to something else.

Trish tries to get the fired dudes the interview with Lita. She’s in her underwear and looks VERY good in her yellow thong. She throws them out.

DDP is the way too happy guy at this point. He thinks England is way too depressed. Sweet goodness Vince never got this guy at all.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Big Show

Make this quick. The only good thing about their match at Starrcade was the ending. It has to be better here right? Also get Page his Nirvana knockoff song. Show is in the one piece swimsuit here. Show goes straight at him and Page is in trouble. Heyman wants to know why Show doesn’t pick on someone his own size. That would be because there is no one his own size according to JR.

Ross talks about Show’s weight in stones. Heyman says at least as much as Richards and Jagger combined. The commentary has been awesome tonight. DDP goes for the leg to take him down for a change. He gets kind of a jumping fist off the top which is supposed to be a clothesline. Figure four is blocked by Show. Chokeslam is blocked into the Diamond Cutter for no cover because Page is down but eventually gets two. Chokeslam ends it soon thereafter.

Rating: N/A. Boring match that was more or less a squash. When the Diamond Cutter gets two, you know DDP is dead. This went nowhere at all for the most part and at least it was short.

Post match Page says that wasn’t a bad thing but rather a good thing because now he gets to leave England.

The fired dudes go in and Molly has no mask but is in her superhero outfit. She’s mad that they saw her without her cape. These segments suck and hard.

Shane is talking to Austin, Angle and Debra. They shouldn’t be worried about Survivor Series bur rather tonight. The table they’re at is round and you know the lines Angle is going to use. Shane is Merlin. When Angle got way into stuff he was hilarious.

WCW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boyz vs. APA

The Dudleyz have the belts here. And remember, D-Von is the weak one. This is under elimination rules. No Stacy here with the Dudleys which is a shame as she looked awesome in those camo shorts. The Hardys were on the verge of having some problems. Bubba vs. Matt starts us off. Ok so there is more or less ZERO reason for the APA to tag in to start right?

Bubba looks odd for some reason. I think it’s the lack of wrist tape. Bradshaw in now vs. Matt. The fans boo which they claim is due to Matt getting beaten down but I’m not so sure on that one. Are you sure it’s not due to the show kind of sucking? The APA beats up Jeff as the fans want tables. It should be noted that one of the six guys here ever wrestled in WCW and he’s also the one that has most recently appeared on WWE Television.

They’re just killing time here to get one of the teams, likely the APA, out. Fallaway Slam to D-Von from the middle rope gets no cover. The Hardys go to the floor for a bit leaving Farooq in trouble. They run in just in time to hit a Twist of Fate on Farrooq to end him and get us down to the predictable tag match.

D-Von gets out some tables to a huge face pop. Jeff gets a nice baseball slide to take him out as the table is driven into his face. It turns into the basic match between these two which while ok isn’t anything special. They talk about Lennox Lewis fighting D-Von or something like that. Heyman really likes talking about the Dudleys and their resume.

Now we’ll talk about Angle vs. Jericho as there is nothing that hasn’t been said about these teams already I suppose. Jeff crotches Bubba on the top and gets a rana for two. D-Von and Matt both come in with Matt naturally taking control. Poetry in Motion to Bubba and then to D-Von. The Swanton misses D-Von though and Matt walks into a bad 3D to retain.

Rating: D+. And so what? I mean seriously, who cares at this point? These teams feuded for so long and so many times that it got boring beyond belief to watch them fight again and again. I think the Dudleys beat them in a cage match at Survivor Series which was the final match between them. APA had no business being there so they were there anyway. Nothing special here at all.

Don’t try this at home. Try it away from home though.

Heyman is in Dudley glasses.

We see some stuff of Jericho accidentally hitting Rock which cost them a tag match. It’s not like this match is happening anytime soon or that they’re fighting tonight. We’re just trying to waste some time.

Vince is talking to Jericho and Rock is apparently on the other side of him. He wants them to bury the hatchet so they can beat the Alliance. They need to get along tonight. Why do they need to get along tonight? Who cares I guess, but Vince orders it so be it. They shake hands and Jericho says try not to lose another big one. Rock says he has something Jericho can take to the ring with him and drills him before a bunch of suits break it up.

Tajiri vs. William Regal

Before we get started Regal says he’s their role model. He makes fun of David Beckham and Man U. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion at this point. DANG Tajiri could throw some kicks. Regal gets into a grappling match where of course he’s going to dominate. This isn’t much more than a midcard match but at least they had been feuding recently so this makes sense. Regal gets a modified Tazmission more or less on Tajiri who comes back anyway.

Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Tajiri gets crotched on the top rope as Regal keeps control. He chops the living heck  out of Regal as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. Missile dropkick gets two. Handspring elbow hits to pop the crowd a bit. Tarantula hooks Regal and Tajiri goes up for the moonsault and crashes. Regal Stretch ends it immediately afterwards.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here with Tajiri having maybe a minute of offense total. This was more filler which they’ve been spacing apart pretty badly so far tonight. This went nowhere as did the feud due to the whole Alliance thing dying off soon after this. They were better as a comedy tag team.

Tajiri spits mist in his face post match.

Angle runs down British fans and makes fun of the name Y2J. This involves singing the Mickey Mouse Club song.

WCW World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle

Well this should be awesome. That big old WCW belt looks great on Jericho. Angle is the US Champion apparently. It’s still the old belt design which I actually like less than the current one which isn’t typical for me. They hit the mat almost immediately with Jericho throwing punches and forearms, making this almost like an MMA fight, at least in spirit.

Spinwheel kick takes down Angle for no cover. Three Amigos hit before they have a name. Walls can’t hook on so Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to send Angle to the floor. Jericho follows and chops the heck out of Angle. Back in the ring and Angle almost gets the ankle lock. Angle’s shoulder eats post. Well not really as there’s no opening there or anything but you get the concept.

Angle gets the momentum and starts busting out the suplexes. He goes for the Walls as we begin the countdown to Jericho hooking the ankle lock on him. Angle can’t get it anyway so it’s not like it really matters. We hit the chinlock as the fans are WAY behind Jericho here. How un-American they are indeed. Jericho gets a rolling cradle for two.

And then back to the chinlock as they’re kind of wasting time here. Enziguri counters the ankle lock and everyone other than the referee is down. Jericho cranks it up a bit and gets a rana for two. Yep I was right. Jericho rolls through a victory roll and grabs the ankle lock. A rope is grabbed shortly thereafter anyway so it’s not like it meant anything. Rolling Germans have Jericho in trouble.

There’s the real ankle lock but Jericho counters into the Walls. Lionsault eats knees though and it’s Angle Slam time. So much for that though as Angle gets rolled up for the pin and Jericho retains. How often do you see a clean finish between these two? I can’t think of one with about as limited thinking as possible.

Rating: B-. Nothing that special here but it was ok for the most part. These two always work well together for the most part and they had a decent match here. I still don’t like the way it sounds when they say this was for the WCW Title as that always sounded really odd. Decent match but they’ve had better.

Angle beats up Jericho after the match.

Cole asks how Rock can focus on Jericho. Rock calls him a great journalists. Thank goodness he doesn’t remember that line. And so much for that as Rock implies that Cole is gay. To be fair he says it doesn’t matter. Solid Rock promo here as always and dare I say, vintage?

Mighty Molly/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Torrie Wilson

Trish is referee here due to reasons of hotness. It says a lot when Molly is the least attractive person in a match. Stacy in camo top and leather skirt works to put it mildly. Heyman says he and Lita wear the same style of underwear. Oh dear. Stacy and Torrie start us off. This is more or less about what you would expect. Trish can’t do much in the ring yet so Lita and Molly are going to be carrying this one.

Apparently over 50,000 tickets were sold in an hour for Mania 18. Molly comes in as we’re waiting for Lita to come in and clean house. Stacy does the leg choke to a pop. Lita gets knocked down and the heels double team for a bit. Make your own orgy jokes. Molly does what she can but Torrie is kind of uncarryable. There’s Lita and it’s over in less than a minute with the Twist of Fate to Molly.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the girls looked good. That’s all there is to this and that’s all there was ever going to be on this.

Post match Trish hits Stacy with a horrible bulldog.

We recap Rock vs. Austin which is more or less billed as a Mania rematch which isn’t true but whatever. It’s more Alliance vs. WWF stuff in short. One thing I never got: Austin says he’s leaving the WWF to find better competition. If he’s fighting WWF guys isn’t he fighting the same competition he’s always been fighting? They clip a good portion of this from the Mania package.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Not a bad main event I wouldn’t think. Austin jumps Rock as he’s posing on the ropes. You don’t interrupt the Rock’s posing! Rock chops away and hits a swinging neckbreaker before the vest comes off the champion. Rock Bottom doesn’t hit as Austin goes over the top. On the floor now and water is spit into Austin’s face.

They fight up the ramp and you can’t see a freaking thing. Ah there’s a spotlight. Much better. Rock reverses a suplex on the stage and Austin bounces off the steel. Austin wants a Piledriver but he winds up bouncing off the stage again. Back towards the ring now and it’s still mostly Rock. That is until he takes a slingshot and bounces head first off the post.

Austin flips off the crowd and almost gets caught in a rollup. It only gets two though and right back onto offense for Austin. They head to the floor even more and onto the announce table. Rock blocks another Piledriver and gets off. WHAT IS THE FREAKING DEAL WITH THE AIRHORNS? Do you British people think those are cool or something? Knock it off!

They’ve been in the ring about two minutes out of maybe ten. Austin chokes him with the cables and then they chop it out. He drops Rock on the table again and might have hurt his knee. Back in the ring for a change and Austin lands the Thesz Press. The screw you elbow gets two as there’s a good deal of time left in this. Austin wastes time by yelling at the crowd and Rock comes back with some of Austin’s stuff, including the elbow for two.

We get a sleeper by the bald one. Doesn’t it amaze you that the rear naked choke takes like a few seconds to get a submission but a sleeper can last like a minute and the guy is fine? Naturally Rock’s arm goes up at the third drop like the hero that he is. Naturally Rock gets a sleeper on Austin because that’s just how things work. Also just how things work, his lasts like four seconds.

Austin gets a Boston Crab for no apparent reason. It’s more like a Liontamer than anything else which makes it more awesome. The look on Austin’s face is downright creepy looking. Rock gets about his 9th wind and takes over again with a belly to belly for two. And there goes the referee of course. Stunner is blocked and Austin walks into a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter which doesn’t make Austin tap but there’s no referee.

Austin puts Rock in the Sharpshooter on Rock and it’s somehow better than Rock’s. Ok scratch that it sucks. And now Rock has it on Austin until Angle runs down and pops Rock with the chair. Cue Jericho who I’ll bet is going to hit Rock with the chair. Jericho gets Angle out and Rock sees him with the chair, thinking it was him that popped him with it. And there they go.

Rock Bottom hits Austin and there’s still no referee. Angle is back in now and takes care of Rock again. DANG that referee can stay down through a lot. That didn’t last long as another spinebuster takes Austin down again. Angle breaks up the elbow with a belt shot though and a Stunner keeps the title on Austin.

Rating: B. These two have great matches time after time and this wasn’t their best but still was solid. This felt like a major match like it was supposed to be and that’s really all you can ask for at a show like this. Pretty good match and long with over twenty minutes. This was solid enough stuff but the ton of run-ins and the long ref bump kind of hurt it. Solid main event.

Overall Rating: C+. This was better than most of these shows but still nothing great. There is some solid stuff here but the problem is that it’s all been done before and been done far better than it was here. I’m not a fan of these shows at all as they never are much of anything but this was better than the majority of them. Nothing really worth seeing specifically but I’ve seen far worse shows. This was ok.

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, JBL

So a few things have happened since last year, but a lot of the show is the same. DX is back, feuding with the McMahons, Edge has risen to prominence and is the WWE Champion, and Booker is now a British guy. Your main events are Booker vs. Batista and Cena vs. Edge, along with the DX vs. McMahon tag match. The other major difference is the return of ECW, which as usual has one match. This is far different than the ECW you see today, as the title match is Big Show vs. Sabu.

Hogan is here again, this time against Orton, while Flair and Foley are having an I Quit match, which would be Foley’s last big angle as he would leave for awhile very shortly after this, returning in about 9 months for a few appearances here and there before becoming commentator for about a month before leaving for TNA. That’s enough recap from me, so let’s do this. Oh one last thing. Angle would be released 5 days after this show and would debut for TNA about 5 weeks after this.

The opening video is generic to say the least. It’s just promos and clips from the three major feuds. I’m really disappointed in this.

The 6 announcers welcome us to the show which takes a few minutes. Lawler says that he’s the WWE’s original party animal which just amuses me.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Remember how I said I was disappointed? That’s nothing compared to this. This contest is being held because these two have been fighting over who was closer to Eddie. This is nothing short of disgusting to me. Eddie passed away less than a year ago, and this isn’t even the first angle that was because of him. I get that he was a huge star, but you don’t need to use him to further storylines.

Chavo says that Rey is living off of Eddie’s legacy, which in reality he likely was as he got the world title at Mania, but that’s a different argument for a different time. They show video packages of both men’s relationships with Eddie as I feel like I’m in 5th grade. Seriously, this is like two 8 year old girls arguing over who someone’s real best friend is. However, the other friend just happens to be dead. See? No matter how you say that it’s not respectful or paying tribute. IT’S CREEPY.

Also, the whole Dominick storyline is completely omitted. In other words, thanks to the magic of WWE, the whole angle about Eddie trying to destroy Rey’s family and steal his son has been completely forgiven. And people wonder why WWE is criticized so much. Apparently Chavo is retired or something but this is a one night only event. If only that were true. As much as I can’t stand JBL in the ring, he’s pretty good on commentary.

It’s nice to have him out there as he was a wrestler far more recently than Tazz was. Chavo cost Rey the title. Thanks for mentioning that 3 minutes into the match. JBL makes an Arturo Gatti reference which is just weird to hear at this point. Chavo is complaining that Rey is trying to make a name off of Eddie. Yeah, I don’t need to criticize that. JBL calls Chavo’s comeback the biggest one since the resurrection. Again, don’t even need to make fun of that.

JBL goes on to say that these are two of Smackdown’s best. If this is one night only, wouldn’t that mean he’s not on Smackdown at the moment? Rey is having mask issues so we take a short break. Ok I like JBL. He’s actually really good at this. They both stand on the top rope and…just kind of jump off. Yeah that spot looked really stupid. Bradshaw keeps calling him Shavo which is getting annoying.

Yeah JBL is already getting annoying. If he says “He’s a Guerrero!” one more time I’m going to scream. Eddie was a groomsman at JBL’s wedding? How much do they want to break down the walls between reality and kayfabe? 619 but Chavo avoids the senton and they go to the floor. Vickie, now with about another 50 pounds on her and in full annoying mode heads to the ring and goes after Chavo for no apparent reason, slapping him.

The three amigos get Chavo booed out of the building. Cole calls a hurricanrana a headscisscors. Since Chavo got booed out of the building for the triple suplexes, Rey does them as well as everyone is being booed now. Rey goes up for a frog splash and Vickie tries to stop him, resulting him in him getting crotched. Chavo hits a suplex which is called a brainbuster, leading to the frog splash as Vickie screams to win it. Post match, they still won’t shut up about how it’s about family etc.

Rating: C+. The match was fine, but the rating is hurt a lot as this storyline is just flat out horrid. It’s completely disrespectful, and while it got both of the Guerreros jobs, it just wasn’t needed. There were about a dozen other ways to do this that wouldn’t be disrespectful at all, nor would they have ticked off the crowd. I hated this, but the wrestling was ok I guess. It would have been better if I had watched it muted.

Booker and Sharmell are in the back with Booker still being British, which is oddly a far better gimmick for him. He was completely generic as Booker T, but this is quite memorable. Edge and Lita come in and they argue about who the most powerful couple in wrestling is. That would be Vince and Linda.

This would lead to the triple threat challenge at Cyber Sunday which was all three championships on the line at the same time and was ended by Kevin freaking Federline. They make a bet about their title matches that didn’t mean anything at all in the end.

Ad for the best managers DVD. That’s a lost art in wrestling anymore.

It’s time for the ECW title match. The story is pretty simple: Big Show is ECW Champion and Sabu wants to be. Sabu won a ladder match against Van Dam on ECW to get this match, albeit with help from Show. Styles screams that this was VINTAGE ECW. Is this a running joke that we just never caught on to?

ECW Title: Sabu vs. Big Show

This is extreme rules, and for the ECW WORLD Title. Yes it was called a world title back then. For those of you that haven’t seen Sabu before, consider yourself lucky. He’s the epitome of everything that’s wrong with hardcore wrestling as his skills were limited at best and dangerous at worst. However, he was an extreme icon, so it’s all good. The ECW belt looks like a toy on Show. Within 5 seconds of the bell, Sabu has hit Show 4 times with a chair. That’s a good way of foreshadowing the match.

Show steps on it and crushes the chair which looks cool. This is more or less just Sabu using weapons and Show beating him up. It’s a simple formula but it’s working to an extent. The chair shots sounds SICK. If you think Hardy botches moves, he’s Bret Hart compared to Sabu. It’s table time, as Sabu is the guy that made them famous, far more so than the Dudleys who are more known for them.

Sabu gets him through the table which the more I think about it the more I think that it is nowhere near as great of a spot as it’s built up to be. A Vader Bomb pretty much kills the Arabian. Big Show brings in a table and stairs which is a cheap indy show name if I’ve ever heard one. Show sets up a tiny bridge with a table over two sets of stairs.

Sabu climbs on it and of course it falls over, so he sets it again as Show just looks at him. Naturally, he’s booed for it. Chokeslam through the table ends this, even though Sabu is on the table and therefore his shoulders are technically up, but why am I trying to use logic on a match like this?

Rating: C. It was a hardcore match with good chair shots. What are you really expecting here? It was fine for what it was, but it’s nothing special. Sabu as usual was just flat out horrid and Show didn’t have to do much. It was ok, as long as you don’t take it too seriously.

We see Layla winning the Diva Search. Yeah I don’t care either. In the divas locker room, Layla shows off her horrible acting skills while Trish yells at her for saying she doesn’t belong here. Truer words have never been spoken. Three years have passed and Layla still can’t do crap. Of course, in the end Trish is fine with it and everything is cool. They take her into the shower and spray her down with water. Yeah, it’s stupider than it sounds.

A band called the Teddybears did the theme song. Is there a point to these things that I’m missing?

We get a recap of Hogan vs. Orton, which is billed perfectly as legend vs. legend killer. These Hogan highlight packages are always cool. More or less all this happened for was to get Hogan’s reality show pushed and to promote Brooke. Orton hit on her and Hogan stopped him, resulting in Hogan getting RKOed on a car.

We also get highlights of all the legends that Orton hit with the RKO, which is a decent list I guess. We even got a parody complete with impersonators. More or less, this is Orton replacing Shawn, but lower on the card, as it should be.

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Wow Hogan goes on third? That’s very surprising. Unless I’m overlooking something, this is Hogan’s last match to date in WWE. He appeared once other than this at the 15th anniversary where he fought off Khali, but other than that he’s been gone. You know it’s a good thing Vince is rich. He has to pay a lot of money for roofs. Hogan of course gets the legendary pop that he deserves. Ross of course mentions that Hogan has a bad knee. Hulk Hogan doesn’t get hurt you idiot.

Hogan definitely is looking smaller here, but he’s still muscular. The reaction for Hogan really is awesome. I love the old school merchandise like the towel and shirts. The entrance goes on forever just like the old school ones did. This is always fun and this is no exception. This is a much better reaction than he got last year and I think it’s because they got the formula right: Hogan vs. evil. That was the problem with Shawn.

He was still a face so why would we want to see Hogan beat him up? The fans didn’t buy it so while it worked, it wasn’t great. It’s weird seeing someone being taller than Orton. In a head scratcher, Hogan gets put in a headlock and goes down to one knee in just a few seconds. Everyone goes a bit blind as the headband goes off. They use an overhand wristlock and it looks decent. I’m quite surprised. Other than shoving Orton at the beginning, it’s been all Orton.

Dang it why is it that every time I say that the comeback begins? Hogan gets on the second rope and punches him, which for some reason surprises JR. It’s not like this is a new thing for him. He hits a clothesline with authority, which is another term that’s never made sense. How can a clothesline have authority? Can it give you an infraction while you try to start a resistance? The bias for Hogan and his rule breaking will never cease to amuse me.

In a weird time, they mention that the fans from the old AWA days remember the times when he refused to obey the rules. Why not just go with the time he was a heel in the far more famous WCW? Maybe there’s something to that theory of WWE never mentioning WCW because they know it’s better. Orton finally goes for the knee which is what makes sense all along, as given away by the massive knee braces on both legs.

They finally mention that Hogan was the main event of Summerslam 90, which I’ve long since theorized. Apparently Orton is craving to be loved. Thank you Sigmund Ross. Orton slides under the big boot just like Shawn did last year and hits the picture perfect dropkick. Screw Bob Holly. Orton’s dropkick is perfect. Now here we have something that makes me change my mind about a lot of the criticisms that Hogan gets.

Randy hits the RKO and covers, and Hogan doesn’t kick out. He puts his foot on the rope. That’s very subtle but when you think about it, that’s a huge show of respect to Orton. Of all of the big finishers that Hogan has been hit with over the years, I’ve never seen him not kick out of it with that big power move. He didn’t power out of the RKO. He had to use the weaker kickout. That’s a huge show of support for the young kid and it makes him look dominant.

The thing is they never mentioned it as a big deal, despite it being one of the biggest rubs that Hogan has ever given anyone. Anyway, Orton celebrates because he thinks that he’s beaten the legend himself and maybe he has a right to, but Hogan’s foot didn’t go unnoticed by the referee despite the announcers being completely oblivious to it.

Hogan staggers to his feet and limps around in a circle shaking his head which is a truly sad sight to see in my eyes as he just doesn’t have the physical strength anymore to do it the way he used to. We all know how this is going to go. Hogan circles Orton, shakes a finger in his face, kicks him in the head and after about 15 seconds, drops the leg for the pin.

I love how nonchalant Hogan is after the legdrop, as if to say yeah I know he’s not getting up for a month. Lawler marks out like an 8 year old for this and I love that. If this were anyone else I’d hate it but in this case it’s fine as this is Hulk Hogan. He’s the greatest ever and he should be treated as such. As Hogan celebrates we see a guy with a tattoo of Hogan all over his entire back. That’s either creepy or awesome.

Rating: B. This is exactly what a modern Hogan match is supposed to be. You have a young guy that is kind of proven but not quite and he just can’t beat Hogan despite getting close. Now some of you again might say that Hogan didn’t give Randy the rub here, but on a closer look he did.

That lack of a kickout of the RKO was in reality was huge. It made Orton look like a monster because it was enough to stop the super kickout from Hogan, which no other move has ever done in history. That’s about as big of a rub as you could give.

We see a big party that was held yesterday announcing the debut of 24/7. Kennedy is there, which amuses me.

Foley is in the back and Melina comes up and hugs him. Now this was a very interesting storyline that I wish had been given more time to develop. Flair had run down Foley in his book and Foley did the same. There was a real life feud between these two but they’ve since patched things up. Melina was a real life friend of Foley who was stuck in the middle of this for some reason. They had agreed to an I Quit match here after having a pretty bad one at Vengeance.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

Sweet goodness Lillian is amazing looking. Foley brings in some weapons with him. It’s weird seeing Foley more or less as the heel and Flair as the face. There is legit animosity between these two which always helps things get better. Foley jumps him and it’s on. Running knee to the face in the first ten seconds from Foley. And then he does it again with the garbage can.

Mandible Claw goes on and Flair is down. This is more or less a squash almost but Foley grabs the mic and says make it easy on yourself and say it’s over. Naturally it’s not over and Foley gets barbed wire. On his alternate commentary from his DVD, Foley says he felt he didn’t have aggression here and he felt bad about it. Flair wraps barbed wire around his hand and CHOPS FOLEY. This left a HUGE scar on his chest that he shows on the DVD and it’s awful looking.

Barbed wire board is rammed into the face of Flair and he slides under the ring to blade I think. Oh yeah he’s busted open. The fans want tables. Something I’d like to do here is time how long between that chant starting and the amount of time before they’re introduced. Teasing them like that is a great idea as we have to wait for awhile instead of instant gratification.

Barbed wire board dropped on Flair results in him shouting obscenities to Foley. Foley busts out the tacks as there hasn’t been much of anything from Flair here. Flair is slammed onto the tacks for the second time in about two weeks after Show did it to him on ECW recently. Dang there are a ton of tacks in Flair’s arms.

Time for the barbed wire bat here. Flair is bleeding like crazy at this point. And now Flair sends him into the post and beats his arm with the bat. Foley is apparently wearing a Japanese Cactus Jack t-shirt. BIG bump as Foley is on the apron and Flair gets a running start with the bat and sends Foley to the floor and he bangs his head on the concrete. Cue Melina down to the ring to check on Foley who is out and the referee stops it.

Ok never mind as Flair decides that’s not enough so we’re going to keep going. Flair says he didn’t say I Quit so we keep going. He beats on Foley even more until Melina throws the towel in for him and says he quits. Foley still didn’t say I Quit so I don’t get why Flair would accept that either. Oh ok he didn’t. Foley quits seconds later I think after Flair threatens to hit Melina.

Rating: B-. On Foley’s DVD he does commentary for this match and he says that it wasn’t a very good match despite having a massive scar on his chest from the barb wire spot. He said that he never really took this as far as he could have to make it a truly bloody classic, but he thought it was ok. I would have to disagree with him to an extent though as it was at least decent.

Having Melina play into the equation at the end was a great move, despite her turning on Foley and having him fired less than a week later. I also really like the false ending as it makes you wonder how far they’re going to take this one.

Vince and Shane are in the back with Estrada. They more or less say that Umaga will be backing them up tonight. JBL gets in one of the best secretive lines you’ll ever hear as he calls him Armando Ali Baba Estrada. Back in OVW, Estrada played an Iranian character named Osama. That’s a very nice little inside joke.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Batista

There’s no buildup here other than Booker is champion and Batista never actually lost the title but had to drop it due to injury. Booker’s wife just does nothing but shout “All hail King Booker!” over and over. JBL’s sucking up is quite humorous. She’s at 11 times already. After 15 of them, we finally get Booker’s entrance. Isn’t that in essence a jobber entrance? He’s already in the ring when his announcement is made. Yep, Booker gets no respect.

Batista gets a solid pop but nothing mind blowing. This was one of three consecutive Smackdown PPV main events involving these two, so you really don’t have to think that hard about why there were jokes about how repetitive these shows were. If I remember right these two had a legit fight backstage at some point and Booker beat up Batista with relative ease.

They botch a spinkick spot but I’m not sure who is to blame. Booker throws the kick but Batista wasn’t there so they had to have him keep spinning. It didn’t look that good. We get a loud and long boring chant as the first 2-3 minutes of this is primarily Booker having Batista in a chinlock. Batista is quite rusty here which is certainly playing a role here. Booker hits him with the scepter on the floor, which means Batista is moving even slower than he was before and that’s saying a lot.

Back in to an arm hold, which is the same thing as a chinlock in essence. The crowd chants she’s got herpes at Sharmell. This is just amusing. Booker gets crotched by missing a kick, so Batista, ever the strategist and in ring general, picks him up and drops him the same way over another rope. What’s the point of that? Couldn’t he do something more original than that?

Booker hits a missile dropkick which used to be his finishing move in WCW, yet here is just a run of the mill move and the same thing happens with the Book End. JBL makes a bowling analogy which makes me shake my head. Batista hits a jackhammer which Booker pops up from. I love how neither of these guys have an original move to save their life.

Batista hits a bad full nelson slam to set up the power bomb. Sharmell runs in and slaps Batista for the DQ. Yes that’s actually the finish they went with. Post match Batista beats up Booker and BADLY botches the Batista Bomb. He barely got him up and it looked like he was trying to use it on Khali.

Rating: D. For the second year in a row Batista has the worst match of the night. It was barely over 10 minutes long, it was about 4 and a half minutes of rest holds, and the finish was completely stupid. Batista botches so much out there that it was just horrid. If you want to know where the stigma of Batista sucks comes from, I present to you Exhibit A. This was just flat out awful all around and felt like it belonged on Smackdown.

Jeff Hardy is coming to Raw.

DX is talking to someone who we can’t see and they tell him that Vince said Umaga is the biggest monster in the company.

Recap of DX vs. the McMahons and the feud that Satan is afraid of. This feud went on ALL summer and produced only a handful of decently funny moments. It was way too long and was stupid, primarily as it was DX vs. the Spirit Squad, who were tag champions at the time.

Despite beating them about 5 times, DX never won the tag titles. Why that’s the case is beyond me. It might be because they couldn’t have two major stars as champions. That couldn’t happen. We need our male cheerleaders blast it!

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. DX

In case you’ve forgotten it, Shawn made his Summerslam debut in a 6 man tag in 1989. Just thought I’d remind you because JR has only said it at the last three Summerslams. We get the traditionally way too long DX intro. Good night Lillian looks great. HHH says that we need to get ready to suck it. Shawn says if you’re not down with that, they’re going to tell you to suck it. Well I’m glad we’ve got so many choices to pick from.

To say JR doesn’t like Vince is an understatement. Apparently one day Vince will run a hostile takeover of the afterlife. Spirit Squad runs out and uses their trampoline to come in. Two backdrops, a toss over the ropes, Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree later they’re gone and HHH has a new sweatband. Finlay, Regal and Kennedy run out to beat on DX. The McMahons haven’t even left the stage yet in case you were wondering.

While the club from Finlay would usually drop Khali, since it’s used on DX, it has little effect at all. Big Show is here now and as they try to fight him, we finally have some logic as the other EIGHT GUYS that DX beat up finally wake up and help out, so it’s 9 on 2 here with the McMahons still to come. See, this is the first time ever that I can recall where Vince finally had a brain and realized he owned an army of guys to beat up whomever he was feuding with at the time.

He’d always send one at a time. You own the company Vince. Send out 10 guys at once or something to beat the other dude up. See how effective it can be? I really feel sorry for Styles and Tazz as they’ve been sitting there all night doing nothing after calling a single match. That’s just stupid. Why not have them sit up near the entrance so they can at least go sit in the back after their match? HHH goes through the ECW table as Vince and Shane finally are in the ring.

JR is really getting annoying with this running Vince down. We finally have a bell. It’s Vince against Shawn to start. Ross calls the heels the money maniacs. That’s like the main event of Summerslam 88 from my nightmares. HHH is still on the floor from the chokeslam through the table. HHH tries to get up but Shane hits a baseball slide to knock him onto JR and King. Ross flips HHH over as he’s ticked off about being covered by a big sweaty man.

The way it looked was just quite funny. Demolition Decapitator or whatever that move was called lands on Shawn. The McMahons hit a Hart Attack which is just appropriate being used on HBK. This is followed up by a Doomsday Device. This is actually kind of cool. Of course HBK kicks out though and this isn’t even surprising to the announcers. You have to love the power of kayfabe don’t you? Shawn finally gets a tag and HHH looks perfectly fresh.

Even Hulk Hogan thinks a comeback like this is stupid. JR says it’s adrenaline. I say it’s nonsense. As if 9 run ins weren’t enough, we make it a perfect ten as Umaga comes out. Oh wait it’s 11 since Estrada is with him. We now have 15 people in this match, not counting the referee and 4 announcers, all of which have been involved in this match. Counting Lillian, that’s 21 people that have been at ringside that we know the names of and have been involved in this match somehow.

Anyone else think that’s a lot? It turns out that the person DX was talking to was Kane who chases Umaga off to start their feud which, shockingly enough, Kane jobbed in. Shane sets up for Coast to Coast but Shawn…knees him in the leg I guess, to stop it. Of course it’s called Sweet Chin Music. It’s probably good that he did that as Shane would have been about a foot short. Vince takes both finishers to end this mess.

The recaps and celebration goes on for about two and a half minutes just to make sure we know that this was really a huge win for our triumphant heroes. Somewhere around JR’s 8th sports analogy for how amazing DX’s win is, the faces are finally about to leave the arena. Oh wait, we have MORE replays for you. To begin with, they set for their double pose but I think Shawn’s elbow is hurt as he can’t do the double bicep. He was holding it earlier after going ove the top rope with Shane.

They do a very good job of changing the camera angle for the Shane kick as it’s from behind Shawn now and therefore looks like he actually got the kick. That’s very smart and well done so points for that. Some big fat guy comes out about a foot and Shawn sort of acknowledges him, which I’d assume is someone saying to wrap this up as it’s over. I don’t think he was supposed to be on camera.

Rating: C-. This was a very hard one to grade as it’s just a mess. With more than ten people running in that aren’t involved in the match at all, it’s a hard one to grade. However, I’ll give them credit for FINALLY getting the idea behind Vince as the evil owner right. However, at the end of the day, there was too much going on here for it to be taken seriously. The flaw with this feud is simple: DX are former world champions, and Vince and Shane are businessmen.

There’s no reason to believe that the McMahons would have a chance at all here. Granted they got the theory correct by adding in a lot of people that know what they’re doing to make the feud more interesting. It was better than I’m making it sound, but it wasn’t great.

Kane actually helped out a lot here as he took away some of the ridiculous odds for DX. JR needs to shut up though, as for about 20 minutes he did nothing but talk about how great DX was and how evil the McMahons were. It’s one thing to mention it a few times, but he must have cracked the 20s in times he complained about it. It was completely annoying and WAY overdone.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

Time for the final recap of the night as we look at Cena vs. Edge. They tried as hard as they could to make this an epic feud and they got as close as possible without actually getting there. Edge won MITB in 2005 and shocked the world by stealing the title in January after an Elimination Chamber win by Cena. I remember watching that match and texting a former friend of mine that was a diehard Cena mark. I told her the next day that Cena lost the title to Edge and she almost fell over.

The reaction was great. Cena got the title back soon enough but Edge won it from RVD on Raw in July. Edge beat up Cena’s father 6 days prior to this, and Cena is the hometown boy here. We cut to the theme song of the show to get more clips from this feud, including the live sex celebration that as I’ve said a dozen times, was nothing special. It truly wasn’t. It was them moving around under a blanket and nothing more. Big freaking deal.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Apparently if Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena gets a VERY mixed reaction. The main selling point here is Cena’s father, which makes a lot of sense actually. Lita needs to freaking cut her bangs. You have a hot face. Show it off. She’s Women’s Champion here which was her final reign I believe. Correction it’s her next to last reign as she would lose to Trish next month in Toronto so Trish could retire as champion.

Lita was gone in November, leaving the whole division completely destroyed, the issues of which are still being felt to this day. This is more or less standard stuff with Edge getting close to a bunch of count out wins. On one of these, Edge knocks Cena to the floor and Cena’s eyes are just hilarious. They’re bugged out all over the place as he looks like he just remembered that Christmas is tomorrow or some other cliché from a bad movie.

For some reason I have My Immortal by Evanescence stuck in my head. As you can tell, this match isn’t holding my attention that well. Fans are solidly behind Edge it would seem. You have to love that in Cena’s hometown he’s still not popular. This was the era that Cena was beginning to be truly despised by a lot of fans in, as he was just constantly shoved down our throats, and it would only get worse as the year long title reign was coming.

However, I think those criticisms are unfair for one simple reason: who else was the title going to go on? HHH would be injured in just a few months, HBK lost to Cena at Mania before feuding with Orton and would leave for knee surgery (which had to be legit. It’s an HBK knee injury after all), and Cena was feuding with Edge right here. In short, who was there left to put the belt on, Umaga? See what I mean? There were no other choices other than for Cena to hold the title.

We get a Cena chant that is a lot stronger than I think it actually was if that makes sense. Cena starts his huge comeback of all his standard stuff, complete with an STFU. Lita sets up with the belt to hit Cena but Edge says no as it would cost him the title. She slips him some brass knucks after he makes the ropes though. FU is countered and Edge nails him in the back of the head with the brass which sounds awesome to end it and the show.

Rating: C+. This was fine, but just fine. It’s nothing epic at all despite what the announcers would like you to believe. There really wasn’t a solid main event this year and it showed bad. This would probably be the best choice for it though, as there’s not a lot that would have topped this.

Either way, the match was just ok, but it felt like the title should have changed here. It would change the next month in Toronto as Cena was booed out of the building, so why wait? Why not have Cena get the big win here in his own hometown? Either way, this was ok but nothing great.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is the epitome of slightly above average. Everything on it is just ok. There isn’t a big moment or a big match that makes it jump off the page at you, as Flair and Foley or Cena/Edge is probably the match of the night by pure default. It’s an ok show and watchable, but it’s nothing great at all.

DX vs. McMahons was ok, but just ok. That’s the only thing I can think of to describe any of the matches on here: ok, but just ok. It’s nothing special at all and because of that, it’s right in the middle of recommended and not recommended. Some might like it but others will be bored out of their minds.

King of the Ring 2001
Date: June 24, 2001
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,777
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Well, we’ve hit a new era, as there is no more WCW. Back in March, Vince bought them out and now owns the wrestling world. This allows for the company to more or less do whatever they want, meaning they can play around a bit more. Also, Austin is back, which is obviously a huge deal.

The InVasion hasn’t started just yet but it begins tonight in the main event. Aside from the tournament, we have Austin vs. Jericho vs. Benoit for the title and an awesome street fight with Shane vs. Angle. This, at least on paper, is about 100x better than the previous two years. Let’s get to it.

Here are your brackets:

Kurt Angle
Christian

Rhyno
Edge

The intro shows a ton of clips of the matches while throwing in shots of a throne. I think I kind of like that but I’m not sure. There’s also a showdown between DDP and Taker because DDP was stalking Taker’s hot wife Sara. This led to DDP being the biggest botch of a character in recorded history but we’ll get to that in another review.

The set is completely awesome as it’s a massive throne that looks like an electric chair and when I say massive, I mean taller than the Titantron is now. DDP comes to the ring through the crowd to bad music. He’s a WCW contracted wrestler so keep that in mind as it means nothing at all. He had been stalking Taker’s wife and filming her all the time, including in the shower etc.

He says he has a big collection of it, and I marvel at how much they would manage to screw this up. They turned him into a motivational speaker character. Think about that for a minute. He has a ticket, which apparently entitles him to his own entrance music, a microphone and ring time. I want a ticket like that.

Apparently either Benoit or Jericho could defect to WCW. That’s a HUGE possible storyline that they just completely failed on as neither did and then other than Austin and Angle, no one that I can remember of any note ever did.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Christian

Edge and Christian have outgrown the tag division at this point and are rapidly moving up the ladder in the singles ranks. Ok more Edge than Christian but they’re certainly becoming more popular and more talented. Angle beat Hardcore Holly and Jeff Hardy while Christian beat Kane and Big Show. See what I mean? Angle is the defending tournament winner so he could become the first repeat winner.

Also he’s a lot more like his normal self as he’s far more intense and less silly, and the muscle mass is there now so he looks much better too. You can see that there’s a bit more intense style now too as they’re wrestling a more crisp style and staying in the ring more, as the Attitude Era is either dead or close to being dead. They list off Angle’s rookie accomplishments and it’s just freaking ridiculous how hard this guy was pushed.

Angle keeps looking up which implies a run in to me. Christian is hanging in there if nothing else. And yep there’s Shane, who is fighting Angle later on tonight. The moonsault misses as Angle is yelling at Shane and Christian gets two off of it. The crowd is rather hot tonight too. Angle counters the Unprettier into the ankle lock, but after some counters Christian hits the Unprettier, but Shane pulls Christian out.

That does a few things. One, it makes Christian look strong as he had Angle pinned off a clean Unprettier, which would have been the biggest win of his career. Two, it makes sense for Shane to do it, as he wants Angle to have to wrestle twice before the street fight. That’s mentioned later, but it’s a brilliant move here. Christian is getting back in and Angle grabs him from the apron and hits the Angle Slam for the pin. I like that ending.

Rating: B. This was a great choice for an opener. It was hard hitting and fast paced with both guys being over. Like I said it sets up something for later on which is fine as that’s one of the big matches tonight. This was decent enough and it certainly got the crowd going. Shane looks freaking tiny.

Austin is in the back and Coach comes in. The Rattlesnake is looking for Vince and no one has seen him. This is the period where Vince and Austin were best friends which was always weird. Coach mention the Jericho/Benoit to WCW rumor and Austin is stunned. Get it? He’s STUNNED. Oh I kill myself!

We recap DDP and Taker. The thing here was rather interesting, as the angle was cool but six days prior to this we got the reveal, and the reaction was OH CRAP it’s DDP. Then we all said oh….it’s DDP. The initial shock is cool but then you realize it makes NO sense. He says he’s using Taker to get to the top, but still it just isn’t working at all. For some reason this recap is set to Rey Mysterio’s old music from 1996.

In the arena, Heyman interviews DDP, who says he wants Taker. This becomes stupid then as we see a video of DDP ordering lunch in a diner and reading the paper. They try to play this up as DDP being stalked, but it kind of falls short of filming Sara in a pool.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Edge vs. Rhyno

Well at least it’s just the final four again. Edge beat Test and Saturn while Rhyno beat Tazz (in his last real match, as in not against Lawler) and Tajiri. This was when Rhyno was still a monster and not a complete jobber. This match kind of makes the spear look weak. As I’ve said before, two people should be allowed to use that move: Rhyno and Goldberg. Edge is also now a far more serious character.

While I think Edge vs. Christian would have been better, Edge vs. Angle would be fine as well as the point was to elevate Edge and Christian so it works fine, especially given what came from it. They’re on the floor for the most part here, but just as I type that they hit the ring again. At least I still have my timing. Rhyno slips the padding off a buckle and Edge’s back slams into it.

They say that’s setting for the Gore which strikes me as pointless since it’s hardly a move that requires a lot of setup to be effective. This match is going by fast which is a good thing. Rhyno goes WAY old school by throwing on a full body scissors. See, this is what we mean when we talk about psychology. Rhyno’s finishing move hits the ribs, so Rhyno is working on the ribs.

He’s using a variety of moves and offense to hit Edge’s midsection and back, such as a powerslam and a top rope splash. These moves make sense for his finishing move. So many wrestlers work on parts of the body that make no sense. For example if Rhyno worked on the leg, what would the point be? It’s not softening up anything at all for Rhyno other than to maybe slow him down? It’s a little something but it’s a stretch.

Again here, Edge can’t get up to the top because his ribs are hurting. That’s something good by Edge as it sticks to the work Rhyno did earlier. It’s not exactly Steamboat vs. Flair, but for a nine minute PPV match it’s certainly passable. Both go for a spear at the same time which looked kind of cool I thought. After a rollup, Edge dodges the Gore and Rhyno hits the exposed turnbuckle (PSYCHOLOGY AGAIN!!!) and hits the Edgecution which he desperately needs to bring back as a face.

Rating: B. I liked this again. Edge goes over and beats Rhyno at his own game. There’s not a thing wrong with the mentality of this. Rhyno used his head but the cheating catches up with him. It’s no classic, but it’s certainly good, which is all you can ask for here. I’m well pleased.

We get a clip from earlier on Heat where Lillian (hot) interviews Spike and his girlfriend Molly (somehow hotter) who says that he’s challenging the Dudleys for the tag titles with a partner that he’s picking later. We go to a live shot of Spike who is confronted by the Dudleys after he says he won’t reveal his partner until later.

We go to Tazz with Jericho who asks him about the defection rumors. He says that it doesn’t sound so bad, but when asked about if he’s going, he turns in the awesomeness that is Jericho and keeps twisting the lines around. His jersey is sweet.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike and ???

So we needed the interview to bridge the gap of 45 seconds? Well alright then. The Dudleys just won the titles three days before this by beating Benoit and Jericho thanks to Austin hitting Benoit with the title belt. And the mystery partner is Kane of all people. He’s IC Champion here and the pop is great. I’m loving this crowd. No Molly though which is a shame as she was freaking beautiful around this time.

In a cool spot, Kane and Bubba throw Spike back and forth like a ball until Bubba finally goes to the ground. This was one of the few periods when Spike was bearable. He’s still annoying, but not as much as. He’s like X-Pac. When he was against guys that were average size like D-Von he could put on a passable match, but with guys like Bubba who are bigger, there’s just no validating him having a chance at all.

The fans, to the shock of no one, want tables. That’s something that’s simply never going to die. Heyman goes into one of his legendary anti-women rants that never get old. He’ll never top the Medusa one though. Spike is of course getting the tar beaten out of him. At least some things never change. He goes for a rana and gets the tar powerbombed out of him. He takes that move better than anyone I can ever remember.

D-Von is so far ahead of Bubba that it’s scary. He’s actually a decent worker and has had better characters over the years. He got rid of all the stupid Dudleys in ECW if nothing else. Kane comes in and hits a sweet sounding punch to D-Von. Bubba actually jumps into a sidewalk slam which looks really bad as Kane can’t get him all the way up.

He makes it up with a nice powerslam but they botch the living heck out of it as D-Von misses his cue to make the save so Long has to just stop his count at a long two while Bubba isn’t moving at all. The fans boo it out the building as no one is fooled at all. Spike gets thrown over the ropes in a reenactment of the Bigelow throw. With both Dudleys on the floor, Kane gets on the top on the opposite side of the ring.

He’s never been that smart. Acid Drop hits Bubba but this time D-Von gets the timing right. I types this time D-Von at the exact same time that Ross said it. Kane takes What’s Up, which according to past storylines meant nothing. Spike takes a 3D (for no apparent reason called a DDT by Ross. Heyman corrects him and Ross wakes up) for the pin. They set up a table but Kane stops them, hitting a diving powerbomb of all things on D-Von and Bubba goes through it. Well that was kind of pointless.

Rating: D+. Eh this was about as safe of a match as you could have asked for. That botch on the count was the worst I’ve ever seen though and it’s why this isn’t a C or so. I mean it completely made things look fake. No one expected new champions here and that’s fine and I’m glad they didn’t make the stupid switch. The match was ok at best but it filled in ten minutes, so that’s all well and good I suppose.

Buy Break Down the Walls on the Fanatic Series, which was the forerunner to 24/7.

Christian wishes Edge luck. Thanks for that.

More video of DDP doing nothing of note which makes no sense unless we got an explanation.

Billy Gunn is at WWF New York, which has a big Tough Enough ad, which debuted three days before this. Gunn doesn’t care about the tournament and no one cares about him.

KOTR Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Edge

This show is going by fast, and that’s a good thing. I’m surprised this is going on in the middle of the card though. Oh and Angle has his pyro now. We’re told no one has ever won it twice which isn’t true since Hart won at least two but we’re not told that. Edge and Christian actually had their own WWF site back in the day, as many wrestlers did. The company was just freaking huge back then.

Angle offers a handshake before the match and says that since Edge isn’t going to win anyway, Edge should just lay down for him. I love Angle at times. Edge impresses me by holding his ribs, selling the injury from earlier. That’s just greatness. Angle stomps Edge in the corner and as the referee is counting and gets to three he picks up the pace a lot which is a very nice touch. Heyman says maybe Shane interfered so that if he wins KOTR then the WCW owner could beat the WWF KOTR.

Not bad actually. Angle hits an AWESOME overhead belly to belly to put Edge on the floor. The camera shot was great there too as Edge just disappeared. That was very cool. Also, it works on the ribs which are hurt. I love smart wrestlers. We’re getting too many chinlocks here. This is almost all Angle here as they’re trying to play this up as heel vs. heel for absolutely no apparent reason considering Edge is clearly over with the crowd as a face.

Here’s Edge’s comeback as I’m liking this match. Again it’s no classic but it’s fine for what it it’s supposed to be. And now the referee keeps looking at the entrance like Angle did in the opening match, as they play up that the run in is coming. Here’s Christian but he’s preventing Edge from getting a cover. There goes the referee. Ankle lock makes Edge tap but here’s Shane with a spear of his own. I really hate that move. The Edgecution ends this. That wasn’t bad.

Rating: B-. Edge certainly should have gotten the win here. The match was pretty good and Shane makes sense here too. I guess it’s not right to have Edge win clean, but the spear was weak. At least Edge’s finisher ended it. This wasn’t bad at all and it got Edge over which was the point. Not bad, but it could have been better. Edge would get a trophy that resembled the Stanley Cup which Christian would keep taking, leading to a feud between them.

Benoit is with Tazz who is wearing shorts. The other Chris gets asked the same question as Jericho got and he gets upset about it but says it’s a good question.

We go to the back with Edge and Coach, who is as tall as Edge at 6’4. They have a brief moment of tenseness that was foreshadowing.

Ad for Tough Enough.

Angle is ticked off and says no one from WCW is interfering tonight.

Light Heavyweight Title: Jeff Hardy vs. X-Pac

Thankfully they went to the Cruiserweight belt later in the year. Jeff, the champion, comes out first for no apparent reason. No one remembers this reign anyway but whatever. This was during the time that X-Pac actually led a faction called X-Factor. It was him, Albert and Justin Credible. If nothing else their theme song was decent. We talk about Fully Loaded which never happened as I was trying to recall it.

That show would become InVasion in case you were wondering. This was when this title somehow meant less than it used to but they got the idea right by this point. It didn’t hurt that there was no Cruiserweight Division to make it look stupid though. At least you have two good lightweights here. Thankfully the Bronco Buster misses. They botch the living heck out of something and I have no idea what it was supposed to be.

That rarely happens so you can tell it was bad. Jeff pulls the shirt off to get the female fans moist. X-Pac gets the three but Jeff’s foot is on the rope. One day that’s going to be messed up and it’s going to cost them. Jeff hits the Swanton and gets a weird cover for the pin. They say X-Pac dominated this. Uh, not really.

Rating: C-. This was nothing but a way to give Angle a breather between his second and third match. I get that the idea is to make it easier on Shane, but why does he need to do that? It’s asking a bit much of Angle to go three times, especially when the third is a brutal match. They couldn’t do a sneak attack in the back and have Edge vs. Christian? Anyway, this was fine for what it was but that botch was just awful. Granted it’s a Jeff match so that comes with the territory.

Regal and Tajiri are in the back (Regal is Commissioner mind you) and Austin comes in to use the phone. He calls Vince and says Benoit and Jericho might defect. I love that they imply that the owner hasn’t been watching the show. This Austin and Vince angle was nothing short of surreal.

Lita is in London in Raw magazine. That’s one of my all time favorite photo shoots.

More DDP stalking videos, which somehow have DDP’s voice on them which makes no sense. Yeah because normal fans have mics on them. So he just jumps the railing again and gets in the ring which is fine again apparently. I love storylines. He calls out Taker and we get ANOTHER video and this is just stupid now. And Sara is filming him. Oh good night she has a man face.

The rest of her looks great but I can see why he picked Michelle a bit more now. Taker comes out to Rollin, which is at least better than Kid Rock. Taker, looking very fat, walks slower than he does today. That can’t be a good sign. He has no gloves on and it’s an odd sight. Oh there they are. This would be a dream match three years prior.

I do kind of like that it’s not a match, as Austin put it with Rikishi, “I don’t want a match, I want to kill him (paraphrased)” Sara comes out with a camera and magically we’re hooked up to it. She looks great from a distance but close up it makes me shiver. Taker punches Page a lot and eventually he runs. That was too long but whatever as it filled in time and there was a point to it.

Austin is in the back and wants to know how long it takes to get from Greenwich, Connecticut, since Vince can get there in time for the end of the show I guess.

We recap Shane vs. Angle, which started when Shane interrupted Angle reenacting the Olympic ceremony. The build for this was good for one reason: Shane could win. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility which is something that you don’t get with Vince.

Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle

It should be noted that this is one of my favorite matches ever so I’ll be biased in it. Wait, they’re my reviews so I’m biased towards myself, so it’s fine. Angle throws his medals down on the way to the ring so you know this is serious. Again, JR says that after I typed it so I win again. Angle is just beating the tar out of Shane to start here. And just as I say that Shane starts throwing lefts and fights back.

With Shane on the floor, Angle gets on all fours and wants to go amateur, which is more popular that pro in certain areas other than wrestling. Naturally Angle easily gets out and beats on Shane even more. In a nice looking move, Angle hits a gutwrench but it’s overhead instead of to the side. It looked cool. Angle is just throwing Shane everywhere. It looks like a squash but don’t worry. It’ll get better. Shane has had three punches and an armdrag.

He offers Shane another amateur attempt but this time Shane just punts him in the ribs. That’s followed by a jumping back elbow making him awesome. On the floor now, Shane gets on the railing behind JR and Heyman and jumps over both them and the table to hit Kurt with a clothesline in a sweet spot. The guy was athletic and no one can ever argue that.

It’s certainly more entertaining than seeing Vince out there making a fool out of himself. And we have a kendo stick which Shane can swing really well. He actually breaks it over Angle’s back which has to feel like the dickens. Shane uses armdrags on the floor to send Angle into the railing which is a nice spot. Shane goes for a cover and Angle bridges out of it. Think of the Matrix move.

Shane does the smart thing and just hits him in the stomach. Angle does this three times, showing off his stupidity. It’s weapons time now and Shane is dominating. Ankle lock by Shane and Kurt just kicks him in the face. Nothing wrong with that. We get a Sharpshooter attempt and Shane botches it but gets it eventually. It looks bad but it’s ok I guess. Granted almost no one gets it right so it’s fine.

Shane is just beating the tar out of Angle here. He puts a trash can on his stomach and goes to the top for a shooting star press which misses but looked solid. The fans get a holy crap chant going as they’re impressed here. We hit the floor again and Shane hits a suplex, which breaks Kurt’s tailbone. He’s legit hurt which makes the rest of the match even more impressive. His solution to Shane fighting back: slam Shane’s head into a wall.   I like the simple ideas.

In the sickest bump you’ll see in years, Angle suplexes Shane over his head into one of the glass walls with KOR (what, no love for the?) on them. The problem is that it doesn’t break and Shane lands on his head which goes THUD. It sounded and looked SICK.  Shane is more or less out of it.

Angle, ticked off that it didn’t work, picks him up and does it AGAIN, this time having it work, drawing another holy chant. Angle’s arm is bleeding. We’re under the stage now and Angle suplexes him again and AGAIN it doesn’t break. Shane is busted. Angle goes for another suplex and it doesn’t break. In essence, Shane is being thrown into a wall. Kurt is MAD and just picks him up and launches him through a glass wall.

Shane looks like he’s been beaten by an army and raped by a bear while being run over by a train. Angle is spent too. Everyone is just bleeding like a stuck pig. Angle gets an anvil case and puts Shane on it to wheel him back to the ring. That’s a good idea as he’s just dead weight at this point. We’re back in the ring and Angle covers Shane. For two. The place pops like a freaking teenage girl for that. We get a replay where we can see Kurt’s face and he looks like he wants to cry.

A low blow connects and Shane isn’t dead yet. He gets a trash can lid and just pops the skin off of Angle and hits an Olympic Slam for two. Both guys are just freaking spent. Shane gets catapulted into the corner where he just kind of collapses. Angle gets a board from somewhere and just beats Shane about the back and shoulder with it. There’s something awesome about that.

He sets it up on the copes and climbs to the top where he this the Olympic Slam from the top rope. I would say Shane lands in the middle of the ring with a thud, but as they said in Con Air, “the word ain’t land. It’s crash.” They show a bunch a replays and the slam looks cooler and cooler ever time. I mean Shane just explodes on the mat and it looks amazing. Shane’s best match ever by about 1000 miles. They carry him out and he’s just gone.  The Slam off the top got the pin if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: A. This was just freaking brutal. It’s a great street fight where you never really believed Shane was completely out of it. That’s a great thing to be able to say, but Shane took the best beating I can recall anyone taking in a long time. Find a copy of this match as it’s right up there with any beating I’ve ever seen.

Buy Fully Loaded!

Austin is still looking for Vince and tells the guys in the back to tell Vince to come to the ring when he gets here. This was just such a strange angle but it kind of worked.

We recap the triple threat match, which came from the EPIC tag match between Austin and HHH (the one where he got hurt) against Benoit and Jericho for the tag titles. Austin blamed HHH for the loss and says he can beat both of them in the ring, so Linda made the match.

They worked together to beat him and had him in both their submissions at the same time in a great looking moment that I stole about a dozen times in OCW. Austin says Vince needs to pick between Austin and Linda, which is as surreal of a line as you could ask for. Vince says keep the title or they’re through.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit is very hurt here as he got injured in TLC but wrestled here anyway. After this he would immediately go and have neck surgery but miss over a year because of it. The idea here is simple: the faces beat on Austin a lot. Neither of them were on Austin’s level but combined they certainly were. More or less it’s Austin going back and forth from singles match to singles match but both guys are capable of beating him, which makes this more or less impossible for him to pull off.

That turns out to be the case actually, as for fifteen minutes we have Austin vs. both guys, which I would love to see both matches of. Neither guy ever had a real feud with Austin which is a shame as Austin can certainly work a style that would mesh with both of them very well. I know that when Benoit was a heel they had a match on Raw and Austin wrestled nothing but technical and hung with Benoit every step of the way.

His in ring skills were certainly overlooked due to all of his injuries, which is a shame. He would have been one of the most complete wrestlers of all time had it not been for that botched piledriver. Jericho and Austin are another group that could have been awesome in a feud. Can you imagine just the promo wars alone? They keep trying for the double submission but Aust keeps getting out. They’re taking their time here and it’s certainly paying off.

After a very long match, going maybe 20 minutes, they finally hook it and Austin taps out. The problem though is that both made him tap, so it doesn’t count? That makes no sense, as if nothing else Austin should be out of it. The Canadians go at it now with both going for their submissions. Austin grabs a chair after being out forever but Benoit hits a baseball slide to put him down again. Booker freaking T debuts and hits the axe kick on Austin on the floor.

It should be noted that Austin complete no sells it after being dead forever. Booker throws him through the, say it with me, Spanish announce table as we have more hot Canadian action in the ring. Austin finally gets back in and after being knocked down again, Benoit hits a belly to back from the top on Jericho, but everyone is dead. Austin covers Benoit for a kind of weak finish. No Vince surprisingly.

Rating: B+. While not as good as the street fight, this was a very solid match. The story made perfect sense, but Booker running in didn’t do much at all since Austin was beaten half to death already anyway. I with something else had finished Benoit off but that’s a moot point I guess. This was solid and ran almost half an hour, which helped a lot as it gave them plenty of time to get something good together.

Overall Rating: B. While the last two matches are by far and away the best part of the show, it’s not like the rest sucked. The last two were just completely awesome. Edge winning was a great touch and the right choice as he would eventually become a mega star.

It could have been better, but the Invasion changed everything, making this show kind of pointless. It started the next night though, so all is right with the world. Good show and worth seeing, but go out of your way to see Shane and Angle as it’s just awesomeness personified.

Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Tonight Alberto Del Rio is going to have a going away party for Edge who apparently will be in attendance tonight.  Things are all leading to the Draft on Monday where things are going to get turned upside down as they typically do.  This should be fun as Smackdown was pretty good last week.  They’ve changed their style to more of a squash heavy show which works in a different way than the style they had used before.  Let’s get to it.

We open with the 3 Doors Down video from Raw which works for me as they’re my favorite band.  This is a clipped down version, as in like 45 seconds long.

We also get a recap of the ending of the battle royal last week with Christian winning the spot in the match against Del Rio.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine at the moment is people that can’t understand what “no lettuce” means.

The world title belt is hanging above the ring.

Big Show and Kane vs. Corre for the tag titles later as well as Kofi vs. Barrett for the IC Title.  Didn’t he get a rematch already?

Cole gets a big introduction as Sir Michael Cole.  Wouldn’t he be subservient to King Booker?

Cody Rhodes comes out with a paper bag.  There are also people in suits with a shopping cart.  Cody says his mask is for protection but Rey’s is for hiding his fears and hatred for the fans.  He talks about how the fans are all wearing masks as we’re getting philosophical here.  He has a remedy though at his own expense.  In the shopping cart are paper bags with faces cut out of them.  Not quite the cars that Oprah gives away but a nice gift I guess.  Cody has a bag saved for Rey.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey gets a kick in early and we head to the floor.  Rey gets a seated senton off the apron as we take a break.  Back with Cody knocking Rey off the top and taking over.  Cody tries a powerbomb which is reversed for two.  Big old clothesline gets two for Rhodes as Cody is being all psycho.  Dropkick looks to set up the 619 but Cody reverses with a backdrop to the apron.  They fight on said apron with Cody sending Rey into the post as we take ANOTHER break.  We’ve had two breaks with three minutes of actual wrestling to watch.

Back with Cody hammering away as Booker and Cole get into it again.  Rey does the Bret Hart chest into the buckle bump so Cody can ram the mask into the head of Rey.  Booker thinks Cody has amnesia.  What in the world is Booker on anyway?  Rey fights Cody off of the top and gets some high flying stuff including a cross body for two.  The swinging kick to a seated Cody misses as he rolls Rey up for two.

Top rope….something….jumps into a dropkick by Cody for two.  It might have been a cross body but it wasn’t actually cross.  Cody sets for Cross Rhodes but Rey fights out of it.  Another powerbomb is attempted but Rey counters again, this time into a rana for the pin at 7:10 shown of 14:10.

Rating: C+. Well what we saw of it was good.  This will likely be setting up the tiebreaker match at Extreme Rules which I really hope Cody wins.  He has the potential to be a decent main event jobbing heel and I hope they let him do that rather than having him job to Rey like so many others have done in the past.

Cody keeps beating on Rey post match and they go into the crowd for a bit.  They get bored out there I guess as they head back to ringside.  Cody sends Rey into the steps and they fight on the barricade.  Rey sends him into the crowd again and takes over.  Rey LAUNCHES Cody over the railing to send him back towards the ring.  Cody looked like a mannequin flying through the air.  Cody takes over again and hits Cross Rhodes on the floor.  He puts a paper bag over Rey’s head and leaves him laying.

Gabriel and Barrett are in the back and Gabriel says it wasn’t personal when he eliminated him.  Barrett says it was personal and Slater says they both would have sold their mother down the river to get ahead.  Jackson comes up and says calm down because he’s the leader.  Barrett glares at him so Jackson says he’s just kidding.  Barrett and the tag champions still aren’t happy.

We recap Laycool’s therapy from last week.  They had more therapy earlier today and McCool says Layla wouldn’t be here without her.  They argue even more and yell at the therapist.  McCool says maybe they should split because Layla might not be flawless.  Michelle apologizes and they hug to a nice pop.  And never mind as McCool grabs her by the hair and throws her onto the couch.  I’ll let that image sink in for a few moments before I point out it was to hurt Layla.  She cries as McCool leaves.

Cole is in the ring and we see a clip of the knighting and feet kissing thing from Raw.  He brings out Swagger for the following squash.

Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta

Total squash as Swagger beats him up with ease, hitting the Vader Bomb.  An enziguri hits and Trent tries a springboard, only to get caught in a powerbomb.  Angle lock ends clean at 1:13.

Big Show was at the Kids Choice Awards.

Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Big Show/Kane

Slater vs. Kane to start as we’re talking about John Kennedy for some reason.  Cole says Booker is jealous because he’s not a King anymore.  Maybe he’s an 8 or 9 but not a King.  Show comes in for some pounding and it’s back off to Kane.  Slater gets a shot to the knee and immediately tags out.  Gabriel comes in and before he takes two steps takes a right hand from Kane to take him down.  That looked great!

Kane goes up but Jackson shoves him off to set up the Ricky Morton stint.  Slater grabs a chinlock and tags out again to Justin.  Gabriel at least makes it more than a few seconds before getting drilled this time that’s an upgrade for him.  Kane pops him with another hard sounding shot and tries the side slam.  Gabriel reverses into a spinning DDT for two.  Slater comes off the top and Kane pops him as well.  He’s been sharp with those punches in this.

Hot tag to Show who cleans house.  Slater gets sent to the floor onto Jackson and Kane hits that uppercut on Jackson as well.  He must have been following his brother with only big right hands or uppercuts.  Anyway Slater runs into Big Show and we remember who is who here, meaning the chokeslam gives us new champion at 4:04.  Kane and Big Show were never once in anything resembling jeopardy here.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but Kane’s uppercuts, while basic, were cool looking as they made every member of the Corre go flying.  Also they didn’t make things ridiculous by having the two small guys fight against the monsters which would have been a good bit realistic.  Not much here but the right ending and it gives the English fans something special to remember.

The Corre argues in the back with Jackson blaming Slater for getting pinned and Slater shoving Gabriel and walking away.

Drew McIntyre vs. Chris Masters

When is the last time Masters won a match that wasn’t on Superstars?  Masters shoves him into the corner to start and sends Drew to the apron.  Masterlock out there doesn’t work so Chris blasts him to the apron.  Back in and Drew wakes up a bit as he hammers away for two.  Futureshock is reversed into a small package for two.  Sky High gets two for Masters as he makes a nice comeback.  Middle rope shoulder gets two and he goes for the Masterlock again.  Drew walks up the corner and slams back onto Masters to reverse.  Futureshock ends this at 3:35.  Nice pop for McIntyre.

Rating: C. Better match here with Masters looking competitive again but eventually he has to beat someone.  He really needs a move that is a pinning move like a powerbomb or something as most heels simply aren’t going to give up to end a match.  That Sky High of his could work.  If he gets some pins with it then it makes him a far better threat to anyone else he fights, which he really isn’t at the moment.

Raw ReBound is the R-Truth heel turn from Raw.  The video they have is the one from NXT which is much better than the actual turn itself.  Eats up about 4:30.

We recap the Rhodes/Mysterio match and post match stuff from earlier.  The match at the PPV will be falls count anywhere.  That fits with the crowd thing earlier I guess.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Jackson is with Barrett.  Kofi hammers away to start as Booker says Kofi worries about the fans too much.  Barrett gets a boot in to take over.  Kofi sends him to the floor and hits a BIG cross body to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Barrett holding a bow and arrow hold on Kingston.  During the break Barrett sent Kofi into the steps to take over.

Back to the floor again as Barrett might have a bad wrist or hand.  Jackson accidentally takes Barrett out and we head back in.  Barrett yells at Jackson and sends him to the back.  Small package gets two for Kofi and it’s comeback (was he ever in trouble) time.  Boom Drop hits and Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise.  Wade catches him in a fireman’s carry and puts Kofi on top.  Kofi tries a victory roll/rollup off the ropes but Barrett kneels down and grabs the ropes for the pin at 4:24 shown of 7:54.  Well that was short.

Rating: C-. Kofi’s big spots were nice but he needs to go to Raw.  There is nothing left for him to do on Smackdown and it’s very clear.  He hasn’t had any direction in forever and he needs a change of scenery.  This was a pretty weak match overall but the time is to blame for that.  Even though the whole thing was almost 8 minutes, just seeing about four and a half didn’t work.  Not a fan of this one but it was ok from a technical standpoint.

Time for Alberto’s party for Edge.  Clay and Rodriguez are there with him of course.  There are presents apparently and they’re under sheets.  Alberto pulls the first sheet off and it’s a grandfather clock.  Gift number two: adult diapers.  Make you own jokes there.  The third gift is her.

Cue LITA of all people….and it’s a fat chick.  Yeah I think we all saw that coming.  Del Rio says she never looked better.  Edge can go on a romantic stroll with her because he has this: a walker.  Time for the final gift which is a motorized scooter driven by Ricardo.  He does the Edge pose for the pyro to go off.  Oh and it comes complete with a handicap parking pass.

Cue Edge, looking a bit more like himself in jeans and a t-shirt with sunglasses.  Edge RSVPed on Facebook (that was on the graphic every time they showed it tonight) and this party sucks.  After some bad insults, Del Rio sends Brodus after Edge.  Christian pops up from nowhere with a ladder to drill Brodus and Del Rio as Alberto charges.  Christian sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring and pulls down the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Considering this was one of the England show, this worked pretty well I though.  They let it be a regular show instead of a boring one like they tend to have on the British episodes.  Things are kind of on hold until the Draft which is a problem as we have the PPV right around the corner.  Cody was good tonight and the PPV is a good place to blow that feud off at.  Solid show overall and it worked rather well.  Good stuff.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Hurricanrana

Jack Swagger b. Trent Barreta – Ankle Lock

Big Show/Kane b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Chokeslam to Slater

Drew McIntyre b. Chris Masters – Futureshock

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Smackdown
Date: April 15, 2011
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Well all of a sudden this is a far different looking show.  As of Monday, Edge, the current World Heavyweight Champion, has to retire immediately due to neck problems.  Obviously this changes everything for both Extreme Rules and Smackdown as we’re going to have to crown a new champion.  I’d bet we’ll find out something about that tonight.  Let’s get to it.

This is a version where the commercials haven’t been edited in yet, so when they go to a break the match continues right where it left off so the traditional 3:30 won’t be added.  The show also has a long post main event segment which I’d bet is after the cameras went off and since the whole video is two hours, I doubt it’ll air on TV.  This is a bonus for you I suppose.

The opening video is of course about Edge and how he has to relinquish the title after retaining it at Wrestlemania.  The line used is destiny can change in the blink of an eye.

No theme song this week as Ricardo Rodriquez brings out Alberto.  The car of the night is a 1950 Rolls Royce.  He says his name but tonight isn’t about him.  WWE lost a hero on Monday.  He’s held more titles than anyone ever in company history, which is surprising for some reason.  It was Alberto’s destiny to be champion but he didn’t expect it like this.  He does however think it’s fair that the title be surrendered to him.

After a long delay, here’s Teddy.  No one is going to present Alberto with anything tonight.  Teddy says that Del Rio did win the right to fight in a ladder match at that PPV and that’s what he’s going to do.  The opponent for Alberto will be determined in tonight’s main event: a 20 man over the top rope battle royal.  Alberto says it’s a conspiracy.  This is in WWE, not TNA dude.  Del Rio takes credit for retiring Edge and Teddy says shut up and leaves.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Kofi Kingston

The rest of Corre is on commentary here.  Barrett says he won the title on his own and Slater isn’t sure he agrees.  Jackson shoves Kofi away to start and Barrett says Jackson isn’t all that smart.  Jackson is a scary looking man.  We talk about the battle royal a bit and Barrett says the Corre is going to work together to make sure Barrett gets the title shot.  Slater and Gabriel both disagree.

Booker says the back of Jackson’s head looks like a tsunami hit it.  Not the best choice of words there former King.  We hit the floor and Jackson press slams Kofi onto Corre, wiping them out.  Back into the ring, Kofi tries the SOS but Barrett tries to get in.  Jackson takes advantage of the distraction and hits his release Rock Bottom (and no I won’t call it a Uranage) to end this at 2:22.  Short and mostly dominant here.

Jackson says he’s going to dominate the battle royal tonight.  Well according to his own song everything he does in life he dominates.

We see Laycool’s couples counseling with a therapist that looks like Paul Giamatti.  Layla is holding Michelle’s hand for some reason and says they’re like Bert and Ernie or Thelmer (yes Thelmer) and Louise.  “So now you’re comparing us to two puppets and two characters that drove off a cliff?”  The bluntness in that made me chuckle.  Layla asks Michelle how her back is and Michelle says it’s hurt since she’s been carrying Layla since day one.  The doctor is shushed and Michelle rips into Layla and is a total jerk to her before leaving.  Layla was borderline face here.

Back to the arena with Cody in the ring with a hood over his face.  He doesn’t feel anything anymore and tonight he’s going to hurt Rey tonight in the battle royal.  Rey is a father and there may not be any monsters in his kids’ closets but he wants Rey to become the monster they’re afraid of.  He’s going to make sure that happens but here’s Rey to interrupt and start a brawl.  619 misses but Rey eventually manages to get one in the ribs and send Cody running.

Kong vignette which is rather awesome.

Rey Mysterio vs. Drew McIntyre

How in the world did Drew fall so far in just a year?  Also I guess the whole Kelly thing is just going to be abandoned?  Drew absolutely towers over Rey.  He grabs a powerslam for two on Rey as we talk about the battle royal a lot.  Booker thinks Drew can be a world champion.  That’s so cute.  Snap suplex gets two for McIntyre.

Rey fights him off and uses some of his speed/high flying stuff to fight Drew off.  The fans really don’t seem to care as we head to the floor.  Drew rams him into the railing in a swinging powerbomb motion as we take a break.  Back with Drew holding Rey in an armbar.  Booker thinks Drew is Wade Barrett for some reason.  I thought it was Thomas Tallahassee Jefferson or something but whatever.

Drew counters a headscissors into a backbreaker and we hit the chinlock.  Booker messes up the name again and it’s back off to the armbar.  Rey avoids a corner charge to send Drew’s shoulder into the post.  Seated senton off the top and here comes Rey.  Springboard cross body gets two.  Big boot nearly takes Rey’s head off for two.

Powerbomb is blocked so Drew shifts to a hot shot.  Rey escapes and lands on the middle rope and hits a nice tornado DDT for another two.  In a very odd looking finish, Rey reverses a clothesline into a 619 and goes up for the splash.  The odd looking part is that Rey jumps for the splash while McIntyre is still on his feet.  Drew falls quickly and the splash hits to end this at 9:20.

Rating: B-. This started pretty boring but the stuff after the break had a lot more near falls and better looking moves, making it a better match.  I don’t think the ending was ever in doubt, but that’s what the position of jobber to the stars was invented for and that’s exactly what Drew is at this point.  That’s kind of a shame too but it is what it is.

Edge is walking to the ring and various people applaud him and hug him.  He runs into Kane and gets a handshake, I guess which says “sorry for the whole causing your dad’s death thing.  His….3^rd death I believe.”

Here’s Edge in his suit and sunglasses to surrender the title.  The fans chant thank you Edge and he says he’ll never get tired of hearing that.  He says this has made him think about a lot of things, like his entrance and how insane some of the matches he’s been in have been.  Wow Edge has been in a lot of gimmick matches.  Edge thinks his music is the coolest in WWE and he thanks Alter Bridge for it.  He wants to do his entrance one more time.  He’s going to go up the ramp and come out to the song one more time.  And that’s exactly what he does.

Edge does his full entrance again, complete with pyro and heads back to the ring.  Cool moment there.  He says he’s out of shape already because that tired him out.  Edge talks about how good it was that the doctors caught this early before he got hurt even worse and couldn’t get up.  He’s happy about everything he gets to do now, including wearing one of his two suits.  He bought it for $100 at JC Penny.  Well at least he’s honest.

His first world title came here in Albany so this place is special to him.  He also came up with the name Edge in Albany.  Edge’s mom is here tonight too.  What’s her name?  Cliff?  The fans chant “Thank you mom” which is rather funny.  Edge thanks her for everything and says that without her he wouldn’t be here.  Well yeah there was that whole giving birth thing.

He shifts over to the title and says that everyone holds a piece of it.  But now it’s time to do what he came here to do: relinquish the title.  Edge thanks the fans again and puts the belt down in the middle of the ring before leaving to go hug his mom.  That’s a sad moment at first but at the end of the day, it’s for his own good for the sake of his neck and his health.  Classy speech too.

That’s What I Am trailer.

Rosa Mendes says something to Edge in Spanish and Edge says he has no idea what she just said but she had him at quiero.  Alberto pops up behind him and offers a handshake but Edge leaves.

Kelly Kelly vs. Layla

On the way to the ring we recap the tag match last week with Michelle’s bad back.  Josh says he doesn’t buy it and asks Michelle about it.  She says no one ever accused him of being smart.  Layla goes off on Kelly to start but gets taken down and hammered on.  Cole and Michael chat a bit as Booker asks about the back injury.  Out to the floor and Kelly rams Layla’s face into the floor.  Layla is almost sent through the Cole Mine and is almost counted out before Michelle throws her back in.  Kelly gets the easy pin at 2:08.

Laycool argues post match and Michelle drills her.

The Raw Rewind is the announcement of the tag match at the PPV.

Booker wants to know how Cole could be that stupid.  Cole apologizes to Jack which I doubt will get him anywhere.

We get the same video from Raw talking about how awesome HHH vs. Undertaker was.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Brodus Clay, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Masters, Christian, Cody Rhodes, Curt Hawkins, Drew McIntyre, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, Jack Swagger, JTG, Justin Gabriel, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Trent Barreta, Tyler Reks, Wade Barrett, Yoshi Tatsu

There is a TON of time left for this so it’s getting the big match treatment.  Alberto is on the floor also.  Kane comes out last when most people came in during the commercial.  Booker says someone has to make a pact with someone else.  There we go and I’m not going to try to call this for the most part.  Show throws JTG out to get us down 5% already.  Barreta tries to get Show out and guess what happens.  Yeah we’re down to 18.

Something I’ve always wondered: other than the final guys, is there a set order to the eliminations?  I mean I know the big stars have marching orders, but for guys like say Chavo (assuming he doesn’t make it to the final few people) is he supposed to stay in for like 8 minutes and then go when he has an opening to be eliminated, or is he told that he goes out say 7^th via Trouble in Paradise for instance?  I’ve always been curious about that.  Anyone know anything regarding that?

Anyway, Show gets the knockout punch to put Slater out and get us down to 17.  Slater is a great seller.  Show charges at Jackson and BOTH go out!  Wow I wouldn’t have bet on that one.  Del Rio applauding that is a nice touch.  Swagger and Reks can’t get Kofi out as we take a break.  We come back and nothing has changed.  They’re in the exact same place with maybe 3 seconds of time going by.  Ok then.  For the sake of timing at the end of the match I won’t be adding the 3:30 for that.

We get to the part of the show where everyone hammers on everyone and nothing is really happening.  Kofi fires some kicks at Swagger as Cole sucks up to Swagger.  Cody goes over the top but catches himself on the apron, only for Rey to hit him in the face and put him down.  Rey doubles up and gets Hawkins out with a forward roll out of an electric chair.  Kind of like a victory roll minus the pin.

Brodus takes out I think McIntyre as Chavo jumps on Clay’s back.  Chavo is gone and yes it was McIntyre.  Kane and Clay have our battle of the monsters and Kane beats him down with ease until like an idiot he tries a chokeslam.  Headbutt to the chest stops Kane but the big fried freak manages to fight back and send the big fat tub of goo up and over as we take a break.  Nothing changes again so we don’t add in 3:30 here either.  That’s really weird to see.

Barrett tries to throw Kofi but Kofi hangs on and tries to skin the cat.  I say tries to because he gets tossed out by the IC Champion.  We’re down to roughly 8-9 at this point.  There goes Reks at the hands of Christian and we are indeed down to eight.  The remaining competitors: Swagger, Mysterio, Kane, Christian, Tatsu, Gabriel, Masters and Barrett.  As I type that Christian tosses Yoshi and we’re down to seven.

Booker says everyone should go after Kane which isn’t a bad idea.  Kane goes after the members of Corre but they manage to toss him to get us to six.  They’re the only two standing as well.  Barrett goes after Masters who fights back with some valor.  Masters is sent to the apron and like an IDIOT puts the Masterlock on while on the apron.  Barrett breaks it with relative ease and kicks Masters in the face to eliminate him.  Gabriel sneaks up on Barrett and we’re down to four!  It’s Christian, Gabriel, Mysterio and Swagger.

Rey vs. Gabriel and Swagger vs. Christian are the pairings.  Rey sends Gabriel into the 619 position but can’t connect.  Gabriel charges, only to get caught in a headscissors and put out.  Christian has put Swagger down but not out and squares off with Rey.  Christian is put down but not out and Swagger tosses Rey but Rey holds on.  Rey comes back with a rana off the top that sends Swagger into 619 position.

Cole jumps up on the apron and takes the brunt of the move to score points with Swagger I guess.  Rey goes after Swagger when he realizes what’s going on and tries what can best be described as a monkey flip position to get him out.  Swagger holds on though and tosses Rey to get us down to Christian vs. Swagger.  Vader Bomb is countered but Christian can’t shove him out.

Back to Swagger in control as Cole is more or less dead on the floor.  They’re both on the apron and Christian tries the pendulum kick, only for Swagger to catch the ankle in the ankle lock for a nice counter.  Christian tries to toss him but Swagger kicks him in the chest to break that up with ease.  Christian is tossed to the apron but like an idiot heel, Swagger stops looking and Christian gets back up.  Del Rio tries to pull Christian off but can’t do it either.  Swagger charges and Christian puts him out at 17:00.

Rating: B-. Good match here with Swagger vs. Christian being a nice ending to it.  I don’t think anyone doubted who would win but it’s the right choice given who he’s replacing.  Battle royals are hard to grade but this one certainly was pretty good.  Nothing was bad and it didn’t get boring, so this worked fine.

Edge comes out to celebrate and Del Rio stares them down.  This is where I’d bet the show goes off the air.  I’m sorry if this is confusing but this is the version I found at the site I use and I can’t watch it as it airs.

Christian gets a mic and it’s time for a 5 second pose!  They even do the hands at the sides which is very cool to see.  The locker room comes out and everyone, faces and heels alike, applaud Edge.  That’s always cool to see.  Edge starts crying as he and Big Show hug.  Chavo and Rey come in and hug him also.  And here comes HHH!

He’s getting the Vince walk going so you can tell he’s waiting to get in charge.  The ring clears out other than Edge.  He goes to the apron but climbs back in and picks up the mic.  He says he didn’t know this was coming and it was the ultimate show of respect.  Edge talks about how this is great and he loves being respected by his peers.  He especially talks about Taker (not there) and Kane who he calls one of his best friends in the business.

He talks about everyone that sets up the show, down to the production people and the graphic designers and the catering.  If he goes into the Hall of Fame he can thank all of them too.  He even thanks the writers (yes he said writers) and names a few them individually.  He thanks Vince, specifically saying it’s not Mr. McMahon.  Vince apparently was the one that thought he could run with the World Title.  He’s afraid to thank Booker because it would mean an Edge-a-Rooni which hurt the only time he tried it at Wrestlemania.

The fans chant Hall of Fame and Edge says he wants to thank people he’s worked with over the years.  He says Vickie and the people boo.  Edge says that’s a sign of how great she is.  He thanks Lita for all the fun they’ve had over the years.  “Hey get your minds out of the gutters…..even though we did.”  And now, he thanks Christian.  He talks bout them growing up together and wanting to be tag champions and at Wrestlemania 16, that’s exactly what they did.

Christian has been there all the time for him and Edge wants to see where he goes.  The Edgeheads should get behind him if they could.  He says he’s said enough and the fans boo slightly.  He says he doesn’t have any spears left in him and he’s gotten to live his dream.  He has no complaints and he’s had an amazing life and a lot of that is due to the fans.  If anyone sees him come up and talk to him.

He’ll always be part of the WWE in some respect so we’ll probably see him again.  He’s going off the radar for awhile though so he can be with his dogs.  A fan shouts to give his mom a hug and he says like you have to tell me to do that.  A huge thank you Edge chant takes us back to Alter Bridge.  Edge goes out to thank the commentators and high five some fans.  He hugs his family and goes up the ramp, throws his arms up and walks to the back, ending the show.  I really hope this is put on DVD somewhere at some point as it’s awesome stuff.

Overall Rating: B. Good show here and the rating isn’t including the post show stuff.  They had to throw this together at the last minute due to the injury and we got good stuff out of it.  The post show stuff was a nice treat that you should track down as it’s a very classy exit for him.  Good show that handled a surprising change very well and left you with a good feeling.

Results

Ezekiel Jackson b. Kofi Kingston – Release Mat Slam

Rey Mysterio b. Drew McIntyre – Top Rope Splash

Kelly Kelly b. Layla – Kelly pinned Layla after ramming her into the Cole Mine

Christian won a battle royal by last eliminating Jack Swagger

I saw this in the comment section and thought I’d throw this out there for you guys.  The debate was over where Edge ranks as an all time great.  I figured this might get some people talking, so here are my (thrown together off the top of my head) top ten greatest ever.  Also I’ll throw in approximately where Edge would rank.

1. Hulk Hogan

2. Steve Austin

3. The Rock

4. Shawn Michaels

5. Ric Flair

6. Harley Race

7. Sting

8. Andre the Giant

9. John Cena

10. HHH

Edge I would put in the high teens, probably around 18-19.

Your lists?  And also that list is off the top of my head remember, so I’d likely change things on it that I had forgotten about later.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 2011
Location: Webster Bank Arena at Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

Tonight we’ll likely begin the build to Extreme Rules.  We didn’t have much time last week as the focus was on Mania fallout and of course next year’s Wrestlemania main event being set up.  It should be interesting to see what Cena does to fill the next 50+ weeks.  No matches on the Raw side have been announced for the PPV so we should get something tonight.  Let’s get to it.

On Tough Enough there was a teaser that Edge says his career might be over.  That came out of left field.

Cole gets a special introduction as the only undefeated superstar in the WWE.  “What’s up Jerry?”

Here’s Cena to open the show properly.  He talks about how this is a great time to be in the WWE Universe because last week there was an announcement made that turned WWE upside down.  Cena talks about the announcement that was so big it takes a year to digest.  The match can’t just be a match though, so that match needs to be for the WWE Championship.  Therefore Cena needs to win the WWE Championship, so he issues a challenge for right now.

Instead he gets Randy Orton.  Orton says that Cena may want a title shot but he had his already and lost.  Orton says Cena should step aside and let someone that won their match at Wrestlemania get a shot.  Cena gets ready to reply but here’s John Morrison.  He says we’ve seen this show (referring to Cena vs. Orton) before but now it’s better because John Morrison is involved.

Before that though here come Vickie and Dolph.  Vickie says she should get the shot because she pinned Morrison.  But if not her then Dolph.  Ziggler says he isn’t here on Raw to waste his time on Cena.  He’s never faced Miz for the title so the line starts with him.  Don’t worry though because everyone will get title shots when he’s champion.

We’re not done yet because here’s R-Truth.  He says that the gospel truth is that he’s never had a WWE Championship match.  I think there’s a reason for that Truth.  An e-mail says that there’s a new cobncept match.  It’s a 5 man gauntlet match.  Tonight (presumably) there will be two starting and another enters at a preset interval.  You can’t get a win until all five are in and the winner meets Miz at Extreme Rules.  I think those are the rules at least.  It was a bit hard to keep track of.

Lawler vs. Swagger later.  If Lawler wins he gets a rematch with Cole.

There’s a video of a baby doll with its head taken off.  You can see the person holding it, clearly the soon to be debuting Awesome Kong.  She laughs crazily.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Brie Bella

Brie allegedly won a Divas battle royal to win this shot.  Wasn’t that weeks ago and she got the shot already?  Eve brings a marker to have an X put on Nikki’s hand so we know she’s on the floor.  That’s rather intelligent.  Brie takes her down to start but Eve makes her comeback with a dropkick and the standing moonsault for two.  Eve gets her in the Tree of Woe and when she’s being taken off there’s a switch.  While Nikki is being taken out Brie sneaks up on her and an X-Factor gives Brie the title at 2:20.  Weak match but all the girls looked good from a looks perspective at least.

Sin Cara debuts next.

Back with Eve being all upset about losing and Gail comes in to say she knows how it feels.  Eve says all the Divas are the same.  Natalya gets the same response.  Tamina walks up to get something and just keeps walking.  Ok then.

Sin Cara vs. Primo

The fans cheer for Sin Cara as Primo hammers away.  He tries to toss Cara into the air so Sin Cara lands on his shoulders and backflips off.  Out to the floor and a slingshot rana sends Primo flying.  Primo is thrown back in but gets a baseball slide to send Cara back out.  We hit a modified chinlock as Primo is getting way too much offense in here.

Cara chops away and gets another rana to get the crowd going a bit more.  Powerbomb is countered into a very fast and hard sunset flip.  Primo goes up but gets kicked in the head.  They stand on the top rope and Primo falls, sending Cara to the floor.  A C4 2000 (Downward Spiral with a backflip off the top) ends Primo at 4:30.

Rating: D+. I haven’t seen this big of a blown debut in a long time.  Primo controlled the majority of the match and whenever Cara got something going, Primo would hit something to slow him down.  You couple that with the botch at the end and this was a glorified train wreck.  At least the ending was good.

We get a clip from the end of Raw last week with Corre running in.  During the live chat on NXT last week Howard Finkel said that was very stupid of them to do.  When the Fink comes down on someone, that’s not a good sign.

Corre is in the ring and Barrett says he used to see them as equals, but if they can’t hold up their end of the bargain then there’s no point in continuing.  Gabriel takes offense to it and says the 450 has taken out more people and he’s a 3 time tag champion.  Slater says WE are three time tag champions.  Jackson says he made Corre legit.  He gets cut off by Santino’s music though.

Here are Santino, Henry, Bryan and Bourne.  Santino says if they’re the Corre then they’re the A.P.P.L.E.: Allied People Powered (by) Loathing Everything (you stand for).  This fight is for Kozlov so APPLE POWERS UNITE!  And yes Santino really said that.

Corre vs. Apple

This is joined in progress as we come back.  The Apple name is hilarious if nothing else.  Corre is in control hammering away on Daniel Bryan.  I wonder if he regrets leaving being the king of the indies yet.  Gabriel gets a hilo for two.  After a nice long beating it’s the hot tag to Santino who cleans house.  Cole makes apple jokes the whole time.  Everything breaks down and Bryan throws out a suicide dive to take out Barrett.  Cobra is loaded up and a reverse DDT ends Santino at 3:37.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here other than to show that Corre is mostly united at least.  Bryan sells very well so the match was about as good as it was going to get given what they had to work with.  Not a terrible match but all things considered it was just ok.  At least the right team won.

We talk about Lawler vs. Swagger and here’s JR to be in Lawler’s corner.  Cole makes fun of Ross so JR tries to break into the Cole Mine.  When that fails he hits Cole with his hat.  Jerry gets up to take out Swagger and we go to a break.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

If Lawler wins he gets a rematch with Cole at Extreme Rules and gets to pick the stipulations.  If Swagger wins then Cole never has to face Lawler again.  Cole and Ross are at ringside and are on microphones.  Swagger controls with basic stuff to start, namely hammering on Jerry.  Cole keeps talking trash as Jerry makes a brief comeback, including taking a brief victory lap around the ring.

Headlock by Swagger is reversed by a belly to back suplex.  Ankle lock goes on and Jerry does as Ross says by getting to the ropes.  Cole shouts MOMMY at Jerry during the hold.  Josh isn’t talking during the match.  Swagger grabs an armbar and cranks on it a bit.  Ross: “Your guy had you in an ankle lock and now has a wrist lock.  Show’s how stupid he is!”

Cole calls Swagger Jackie as he rams Jerry into the buckle.  Lawler Lawlers Up and hammers away.  Cole keeps running his mouth so JR finally blasts him.  The distraction allows Jerry to grab a rollup for the pin at 5:18.  Swagger’s face after it is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: C-. A lot of that is for the commentary/talking alone.  JR’s line is one of the most obvious yet brilliant lines I’ve heard in a long time and shows the basic lack of psychology that is present in wrestling today.  Not a great match or anything but given who was in there, this was solid.  And no, I’m not saying this was better than the previous two matches.  They’re not on the same scale and shouldn’t be.

Cole rips into Swagger post match, blaming him for everything and saying he paid good money for his help.  It was all Swagger’s fault that he lost.  Then he slaps Swagger and runs.  Jerry grabs the mic and says we need to talk about Extreme Rules.  He picks the obvious tag match: JR/Lawler vs. Swagger/Cole.  Smart thinking actually.  Jerry reminds Swagger that Cole just slapped him in the face.  Cole panics as Swagger looks like he’s about to eat him.

We get a video package of wrestlers both past and present talking about how great Undertaker vs. HHH was.

Edge is talking to Cena and will be heading to the ring next.

Here’s Edge as JR, King and Matthews are doing commentary now.  Please, I beg of you, pick a team and stick with it.  This rotating lineup in the middle of the show is getting annoying.  Anyway Edge says he’s going to ramble a lot in this.  He says a lot of people thinks WWE doesn’t hurt and he wishes that wasn’t true.  8 years ago he had a neck injury and had spinal fusion surgery to correct it.

He knew he was wrestling on borrowed time but recently he’s been losing the feeling in his arms.  He’s taken some tests and managed to make it through Wrestlemania, but the tests tell him he has to retire.  The doctors have said he has no choice but thankfully they’ve found out now and he’s not going to be in a wheelchair.

Edge breaks down into tears as I’m thinking this isn’t a storyline at all.  The fans chant thank you Edge and he says thank you guys.  Edge talked to Christian who has been his best friend for 27 years.  Edge was mad at himself but he’s still a fan of the WWE.  He talks about going to Maple Leaf Gardens with Christian and seeing guys like Demolition, the LOD and Hogan.

Then he went to Wrestlemania 6 and saw Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior and said he’d be doing that.  Fast forward 18 years and it was him in there against the Undertaker.  Now he’s won more titles than anyone in WWE history and had his last match in a main event at Wrestlemania and gets to retire as World Heavyweight Champion.

Edge has been in this business for 19 years and he grew up in front of these people.  He runs through his career from running through the streets of New York to doing posing for the benefits of those with flash photography to a live sex celebration (“luckily with Lita and not Vickie Guerrero”) and he hopes that he’s earned the fans’ respect.

He’s going to miss this and tomorrow he doesn’t have to wear tights and now he gets to eat ice cream.  He says he’d do it again, even getting hired by JR.  He drops the mic and gets a standing ovation.  No Alberto, no interruptions, nothing else.  If this was a work, give this man an Emmy right now.  He does his pose on the stage and his music plays him out.  Heavy stuff man.

We’re back and everyone, faces and heels, is applauding Edge.  Even Vickie, Dolph, Corre, everyone.  Dustin Rhodes is there in a shirt and tie.  Still no Alberto or Christian.  No word on the title situation yet but I’d assume Christian will take his place in the ladder match for the vacant title.

Cue Miz to a nice pop actually.  He’s on commentary here.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Two will start and then it’s a standard gauntlet match, last man standing wins.  Ziggler locks on a chinlock after some back and forth stuff.  Lawler asks Miz who he’d prefer to face and Miz says he can’t hear him over his awesomeness.  Josh is reading something and not seeming to pay attention.

Orton fires off some offense and looks down at Miz.  Ziggler hides in the ropes to avoid the RKO.  He can’t avoid the elevated DDT though and Orton sets for the RKO.  The Nexus returns though and distracts Orton, allowing him to be pinned at 2:43.  Well I didn’t see that one coming.  Orton has to fights off the Nexus but Ryan takes him out.  Orton is left laying as we take a break.

Back with Truth vs. Ziggler.  Miz runs down Truth, wondering which version of him would come up.  Lawler asks who Miz would rather face and Miz says he’ll face either of them.  Chinlock goes on by Ziggler as Miz talks about not getting respect.  If Cena wanted icon vs. icon he should have challenged Miz.  Miz says he’s not a talker.  Lawler responds with a facepalm.

The in ring stuff is rather boring, mainly because everyone knows Truth doesn’t have a chance here of winning the whole thing.  Truth hammers away with right hands and gets a sitout gordbuster for two.  Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this.  Out of nowhere Truth gets a jumping downward spiral to put eliminate Ziggler after 4:00 (all times other than the final are of the two in the ring, not overall time).

Morrison is next and will face Truth after the break.  They exchange a bunch of pinfalls to start us off until Morrison hits a breakdancing legdrop and throws on a chinlock.  Miz keeps bashing everyone and is sounding like a less insulting version of Mystery Science Theater.  They hit the floor and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  Both guys slide back in at nine and we keep going.

Morrison gets all angry and takes down Truth with some running offense, including a leg lariat.  Truth reverses into a suplex/Stunner.  He picks Morrison up for a suplex but shifts him to the side and catches him in a Stunner.  Cool looking move.  Morrison gets up and hits his kick off the middle rope but misses Starship Pain.  The jumping Downward Spiral sends Truth to the final two at 4:51.

Cue Cena as it’s him vs. Truth for the shot at Miz.  I didn’t see this one coming.  We’re going to start this up after a break.  During the break we’re told Edge will surrender the title on Friday.  This looks more real every second.  Back and we’re ready to go.  Miz comments on the dueling chants and Cena hits a dropkick to the champ’s shock.  Cena hammers away and hits a new move: a combination powerslam/side slam for two.

Release fisherman’s suplex gets two and Cena goes up top.  Top rope Fameasser gets two and I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as easy as it seemed.  Truth makes the comeback and “hits” (read as it misses by about 8 inches) his spinning forearm for two.  The downward spiral (that needs a name) can’t hit and Cena initiates his ending sequence.  Cena sets for the FU but Miz and Riley run in and hit both guys at the same time for a double DQ I guess.  The last pairing ran 5:36 and overall counting commercials it ran 30:40.

Rating: C+. The grade is for the whole thing rather than any individual segment.  Hard to really grade this as there isn’t much of a precedent for it and the whole match was choppy.  Luckily this had a lot of time as the matches where people are eliminated in about a minute are rather annoying as they’re ridiculous any other time of the year.  Not bad, but hard to grade.  Ending was good though.

Miz says there’s no #1 contender and we get an E-Mail.  There are now 2 #1 contenders: Cena and R-Truth, and there will be a triple threat match at the PPV.  Odd choice but ok then.  Cena and Truth have a weird bromance moment for a bit as they slap each other on the back rather fiercely and Truth glares at Cena as he leaves.

Overall Rating: B. Well it can’t be said nothing happened here.  We have a new stable (and yes I know it’s a joke), a new #1 contender, a new champion and one of the biggest stars of all time retired.  The wrestling here clearly wasn’t the point and for a show with this much going on that’s more than understandable.

Results

Brie Bella b. Eve Torres – Sitout Facebuster

Sin Cara b. Primo – C4 2000

Corre b. Apple – Slater pinned Marella after a reverse DDT

Jerry Lawler b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison went to a double disqualification when Alex Riley and the Miz interfered