The Show Must Go On
Date: February 17, 2018
Location: 800 Congress Avenue, Austin, Texas
Commentator: Rich Bocchini

So this is from WrestleCircus, which for some reason is a circus themed wrestling promotion because….I have no idea why really. It’s now defunct, but I had hear some good things about it during its day and always meant to check out one of their shows. I have no idea what to expect here but it sounds fun enough. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring some of the fairly big name stars who have been through here before. Granted it feels quite a bit like a lot of independent promotions, but I do appreciate a quick look.

Rich Bocchini runs down the card.

Ring announcer Louden Noxious (I’ve seen him before) welcomes us to the show and introduces the referee, who is not incredibly popular.

Gentlemen Jervis vs. Colin Delaney

Jervis is in a big yellow mask (and is also known as Jervis Cottonbelly, because that’s an awesome name) and you might remember Delaney from ECW On Sci Fi (I looked at the show where he earned a contract earlier this week so this is quite the coincidence). Jervis goes for some grappling to start and Delaney’s frustrations start early. Delaney flips up and stares at him before they trade standing switches.

Back up and Jervis grabs a hiptoss, only to get caught with a springboard armdrag into….some ballroom dancing from Delaney? They load up the lift from Dirty Dancing but Jervis backdrops him instead. They trade slaps to the face until Delaney heads outside and grabs a chair. That’s too far for Jervis, who throws in about six chairs and gets all angry (keep in mind that he’s described as rather friendly and sweet).

Referees break it up and get rid of the chairs but the main referee gets bumped. Delaney grabs a cane and does the Eddie Guerrero “toss it and drop”, only to have it turn into something like a game of hot potato. Then the referee gets back up so they throw it to him and fall down (Bocchini: “The referee is going to have to disqualify himself!”). Delaney elbows Jervis in the back of the head to take over but Jervis is right back with a cradle for the pin at 10:23.

Rating: C. It was pure comedy and nothing more, but that’s all they set it up as being. Jervis snapping was kind of funny and Delaney worked well enough as a relatively generic heel. This was a perfectly fine way to open the show and the fans seemed to like it so they know their audience. Now just learn how to do the lift and they’ll be fine.

Dirty Devils vs. The Boys

The Devils are Andy Dalton/Gregory James (with the Insidious Follower, a masked man) and the Boys are Dalton Castle’s Boys, with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot. The Devils jump them from behind but the Boys come back with a springboard dropkick. Brandon takes James into the corner so Brent can come in. A top rope clothesline hits Dalton and it’s quickly off to Dalton to try his shot.

The Boys are back with a double leapfrog into a double hiptoss but James comes in off a blind tag to take Brent down from behind. The Follower gets in some choking from the floor like a good Insidious one would, allowing James to get in some hip swiveling faceplants. James comes back in for some running shots in the corner before sending Brent face first into Dalton’s raised boots.

The camel clutch doesn’t last long so it’s James coming back in to kick him in the face. Insidious chokes again but gets caught this time, allowing Brandon to pull some Twin Magic. Brandon faceplants him for two as everything breaks down. James manages a double draping DDT to the apron (that only worked so well) and the Follower adds a top rope dive.

Dalton adds a heck of a flipping suicide dive but the Boys are back up with dives of their own as this went up about three gears in a minute and a half. Back in and Dalton is sent outside but he breaks up the cover off Sliced Bread #2. Dalton comes back in and it’s a stomp into a moonsault to give James the pin at 12:37.

Rating: B-. They took their time to start until the last few minutes when everything went nuts. The Devils aren’t exactly a great team but they’re solid enough as heels for a spot like this. The Boys were their usual energetic selves but there is something missing when Dalton Castle isn’t around. Good enough stuff here though and an upgrade over the opener.

Shane Taylor vs. Space Monkey

Monkey is replacing Trent, who isn’t here due to an injury. Since he’s a Monkey, the fans throw in bananas (because they have those) and he offers Taylor one after the bell. Taylor is annoyed but gets caught with a DDT to send him outside. The dive is pulled out of the air though and Taylor abuses him with a banana. Back in and Taylor blasts him with the chops to take over before a kick to the….well somewhere in the upper body area takes Monkey down again.

A heck of a clothesline gives Taylor two but Monkey manages a quick moonsault for a breather. Taylor isn’t having that though and blasts Monkey with a clothesline, followed by a spinebuster for two. The big right hand misses and Monkey snaps off another tornado DDT. Something like a Swanton sets up a tail whip but Taylor knocks him silly with a right hand for the pin 10:55.

Rating: C. Monkey is about as gimmicky as you can get and otherwise he’s just a mostly run of the mill high flier. Taylor is a better power guy though and those shots knocking Monkey around were great. I’m not sure how much the bananas added but at least they had something different here.

Respect is shown post match.

Scorpio Sky vs. Shane Strickland

Strickland is a former Ringmaster Champion but Sky (with Kevin Condron, and what appears to be their version of the Money In The Bank briefcase) cost him the title, meaning it’s time for revenge. Strickland isn’t interested in a rather disingenuous handshake offer but Sky takes him down anyway. It’s too early for the TKO so Strickland hits a nice dropkick. Some shots to the arm set up the House Call and Sky bails to the floor.

Strickland puts him in a chair but a Condron distraction lets Sky plant him hard on the apron to take over. Back in and a running shoulder in the corner gives Sky two and it’s time to work on the ribs. With that broken up, Strickland kicks him in the head as commentary recaps the history between the two, which does a lot to make this feel like a serious feud.

Strickland’s rolling cutter gets two and some kicks to the face knock Sky again. A dropkick is countered into a gutbuster though (that was clever) and Sky sends him outside for a dive. Condron: “SCORPIO SKY IS THE BEST!” Fans: “BULLS***!” Back in and Strickland kicks him in the arm before snapping it back hard. Strickland grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb into a keylock but Condron pulls the referee.

Condron gets decked with a right hand but the distraction lets Sky hit the TKO for two. They head to the apron where Strickland counters a piledriver into the Death Valley Driver before kicking Condron in the face. That sends Condron into a chair into Sky, where a double Swerve Stomp from the apron crushes both of them. The regular Swerve Stomp finishes Sky at 18:49.

Rating: B. This worked on two levels, as you had a pair of talented stars getting the time to have a rather good match, but the story worked well too. Sky is the one who screwed Strickland over and the annoying manager so Strickland got to take them both out. I had a good time with this one and it is by far the best thing on the show so far.

Intermission.

Commentary runs down the remaining four matches.

Before we get back to the show, Noxious thanks the venue, Twitch (for broadcasting), the internet and the fans. Finally, a recently returned soldier and his significant other get in the ring. The soldier talks about how he just got back and how great it is to be here….and then he proposes. Ok that was awesome.

Leva Bates vs. Deonna Purrazzo vs. Chelsea Green vs. Christi Jaynes

Elimination rules and this is Purrazzo’s WrestleCircus debut for a Women’s Title shot. Bates comes out to Zack Ryder’s (Green’s boyfriend) music and in his gear for a great troll moment. They go with the four way test of strength to start before pairing off into the corners. Bates does the WOO WOO WOO and Green isn’t sure what to make of her.

Jaynes enziguris Purrazzo to the floor before armdragging Green down. Green is back up with a missile dropkick to send Jaynes to the floor but Purrazzo is back in. Bates faceplants Purrazzo before she and Bates hit stereo Broski Boots. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of finishers, with Green being knocked to the floor. The other three slug it out until it’s a triple knockdown.

Back up and Purrazzo Fujiwara armbars Jaynes out at 7:04. Purrazzo isn’t done as she rolls some German suplexes on Bates but she avoids a clothesline. Zack Ryder’s old Zack Attack (kind of a Playmaker but with the back of Purrazzo’s head slamming into Bates’ knee) finishes Purrazzo at 8:22. Green comes back in (as Laurel Van Ness, ala her time in Impact Wrestling) and hits an Unprettier for the pin (while seeming to kiss Bates) at 9:00.

Rating: C+. This started off well but then it was like they ran out of time and had to blaze through the eliminations as fast as they could. Green winning is fine enough, even with the alter ego deal, but it was only so interesting with them having to blaze through the last few minutes. If that’s the case, just make it one fall.

The following match is a Death Match and Noxious announces that Space Monkey is outside signing autographs for the kinds in case parents don’t want them seeing this much violence. That is an awesome idea and I would love to see it more often.

Masada vs. Brody King

This is a Death Match with Kevin Condron on commentary and was originally going to include Space Monkey. They fight over arm control to start as Condron talks about being a trainer, which has Bocchini realizing what is wrong with the business today. The fight heads outside and into the crowd, with Masada already busted open.

The fight goes over near the bar and then come back inside with King hitting him with chair. A big boot drops Masada in the corner but he’s back up with a clothesline and chair shot of his own. Masada scores with a powerbomb before whipping out the skewers (just as commentary talked about Masada wanting to be a serious wrestler, which thankfully Bocchini does acknowledge).

A piledriver drives onto the chair drives the skewers further into King’s head, only to have him come back with a heck of a clothesline. King hits a powerbomb for two, followed by a powerbomb onto the chair for two more. Back up and Masada breaks the chair over King’s head before tying up his leg/head (with the chair around said head) for the knockout at 12:48.

Rating: C+. They didn’t go completely insane with the hardcore/deathmatch stuff (save for the skewers) so this could have been worse. Masada is someone I’ve seen before and he doesn’t exactly do much for me, while King would go on to much bigger things in the future. For now though, it was a pretty decent brawl which was pulled down by the excessive violence.

Masada won’t show respect post match.

Matt Cross vs. El Hijo del Fantasma vs. Jordan Len-X

Colin Delaney is in on commentary. Fantasma is better known as Santos Escobar and the winner faces Masada in a #1 contenders match for the Sideshow Title. Len-X is in a Rick And Morty shirt and his theme song sounds like it says “Yummy yummy fruit salad”. Also, while his chyron says “Jordan Len-X, Noxious sounds like he calls him “Cruiser Kong”.

They go with the three way test of strength and Cross monkey flips both of them, though they stick the landing. Instead Cross sends them outside for the suicide dive but can’t get back up immediately. Back in and Hijo hits a running knee on Jordan, only to have Cross come back in with a springboard crossbody. Hijo is back up to take them both down and a jumping superkick hits Cross.

It’s time to throw in some chairs but Fantasma takes WAY too long setting them up, allowing Jordan to come back up and put Fantasma on the chairs. With that broken up as well, the Tower of Doom is broken up and Cross’ super hurricanrana sends Jordan through four set up chairs. Back in and Fantasma gets rolled up for a stomp to the ribs but the Phantom Driver gets the same on Cross. A quick rebound cutter drops Fantasma but Jordan is back in with a Razor’s Edge spun into a knee to the face to finish Cross at 12:26.

Rating: B-. There was good stuff here, but once the chairs were brought in, things started to get a bit repetitive. It felt like they were trying to get in their spots rather than win the match and that is not a road you want to take. The first three fourths were good enough though and it certainly wasn’t boring, but you could almost see the checklist of triple threat spots they were going for here.

Bocchini: “Jordan Len-X, also known as Cruiser Kong!” What is up with that?

Video on Brian Cage (Ringmaster Title, top title) vs. Tessa Blanchard (Sideshow Title, midcard title, in addition to Lady of the Ring (women’s champion), which isn’t on the line here), title vs. title.

Ringmaster Title/Sideshow Title: Brian Cage vs. Tessa Blanchard

Title for title so they’re both defending/challenging. Before the match, Cage sends Scorpio Sky and Kevin Condron, his teammates in the Process, to the back. Cage drops to his knees for a test of strength so Blanchard kicks him away. As Condron joins commentary again, Cage grabs her by the hair and hits a big boot to take over. A headscissors frustrates Cage and a hurricanrana to the floor breaks up a powerbomb.

That’s fine with Cage, who pulls her out of the air and hits an F5 onto the apron. Cage spends too much time posing though and gets kicked to the floor, allowing Blanchard to flip dive off the apron and take him down again. Condron: “Alright, so we’ve got a match.” Blanchard chairs him in the head but Cage is fine enough to throw her into a bunch of chairs. The delayed apron superplex drops Blanchard back inside, setting up the curls into the release fall away slam.

Cage throws her down again and throws in some pushups for a quick exercise demonstration. Blanchard manages a drop toehold into the ropes and a pop up tornado DDT gets two. Back up and Cage unloads on her with shots in the corner, setting up a wheelbarrow neckbreaker for two of his own. Blanchard manages to grab a Canadian Destroyer for another near fall but cage is right back with a pumphandle driver. A super Razor’s Edge is countered into a super hurricanrana and a top rope backsplash gets a VERY close two.

Blanchard can’t get a choke but she can get caught in a gorilla press powerslam. One heck of a toss across the ring drops Blanchard again but she stops a charge with a knee. A not great GTS gives Blanchard two and it’s a Codebreaker into Magnum (middle rope Codebreaker). The top rope Magnum gets two more but another attempt is countered into a powerbomb. The F5 only gets two and now it’s Cage’s turn to be stunned. Blanchard counters the Drill Claw but Cage blasts her with a discus lariat. Now the Drill Claw can make Cage a double champion at 17:47.

Rating: B. Intergender matches are really hard to make work but they kept it moving here and kept Blanchard looking strong throughout. Cage winning in the end with the straight power is the right way to go but it is easy to see why Blanchard was seen as such a prodigy. Heck of a main event here as it felt like a struggle between two top level stars.

Post match Cage (Fans: “NO ONE LIKES YOU!”/”THAT’S NOT TRUE!”) grabs the mic and says the only thing that matters about Blanchard is her chest. Then he compliments a match she had with Britt Baker and that God has a plan for her. They hug and the fans chant for Blanchard as Cage leaves. Blanchard poses with the women’s title before leaving to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show was good and the top matches were worth seeing, but the one question I can’t figure out: what does this have to do with the circus? Other than the names of the titles, nothing about this feels like anything but an above average independent promotion. It was a fun show and I’d watch something else from the promotion, but there was nothing here that made it stand out in any meaningful way. Solid show, but this could have been called WrestleBassProShop and the details could have been the same.

 

 

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TripleMania XXV
Date: August 26, 2017
Location: Arena Ciudad de Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Gabe Ramirez

This is of course AAA’s biggest show of the year and heck if I know why someone requested it. Granted it might have been more than a few years ago that someone wanted me to look at it so there is probably something big that stuck out. I have no idea what is going on here but these shows have been hit or miss to say the least. Let’s get to it.

Keep in mind that I don’t follow the promotion so I have no idea what is going on with characters, backstories etc.

A bunch of men, I believe the broadcast team, is introduced.

The ring announcer (one of the four) introduces a bunch of people in costumes. I’m guessing these are sponsor mascots or something? Wrestlers are with them and handing out things to the fans so they’re certainly supposed to be good.

We get some English commentary from Twitch, which confirms that we are still on the preshow here and yes those are sponsor mascots.

La Parka, Faby Apache and Vampiro seem to be judging the first match. Ignore the arena being mostly empty, with almost no noise whatsoever for an almost eerie feeling.

Pre-show: Llave de Gloria: Dragon Solar/Pardux/Solaris/Ashley vs. Hahastary/Bronco Gonzalez/Chicano/Fetiche

This seems to be the finals of some kind of tournament as independent wrestlers are fighting for a contact. It’s a brawl to start with Ashley’s dive being left short on the floor. She’s fine enough to get back in and hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on…someone commentary doesn’t feel the need to identify (which makes me think they don’t know who is who here). Instead they give a basic explanation of rudos vs. technicos as everyone gets in a shot to just about everyone else. Even commentary points out that there is one winner to the whole thing so the team aspect is pretty much worthless.

Ashley dropkicks Chicano (thank goodness for names on the back of gear) down but Chicano elbows her in the face. Solaris comes in for a save with a hurricanrana but gets dropkicked out of the air. Everything breaks down the Chicano team takes Ashley down, including a slingshot powerbomb.

Solar gets in some hurricanranas for a breather and it’s Ashley coming back in to pick up the pace. Solaris and Pardux come in with stereo missile dropkicks and Ashley hits a big dive onto most of her opponents. Fetiche is backdropped onto a pile of people on the floor, followed by a corkscrew dive from Solaris. Back in and Solar rolls up Gonzalez for the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C. This was a VERY weird one as they didn’t bother trying to do anything more than have a big exhibition of spots. Ashley stood out a bit more than anyone else but commentary clearly had NO idea what was going on here or who was who. That makes things all the more confusing, and I spent most of the match trying to figure out their names. Granted there wasn’t anything more here than having a bunch of people trying to get noticed, which only worked well enough.

Pre-Show: Llave de Gloria: Angel Mortal Jr./Tiger Boy/Villano III Jr. vs. Angelikal/The Tigger/El Hijo del Vikingo

Same idea as the first match but three on three and thankfully there are a lot more fans in the building for the entrances. For some reason we start with music in the background as Tigger and Villano get things going (commentary seems a lot more familiar with this batch). They flip around to start and neither can get anything more than a fast one, as you might have expected.

Angelikal comes in to hurricanrana Mortal as the pace stays fast. Angelikal clears the ring by himself before being pulled outside, allowing Vikingo to come in. Vikingo climbs the rope for an anklescissors out of the corner to Tiger. Mortal comes in and launches Vikingo into a hurricanrana to tiger on the floor.

Back in and Villano and company start taking over on Tiger’s arm. A double electric chair missile dropkick hits Angelikal and a springboard Codebreaker into a wheelbarrow suplex gets two. Angelikal is right back up with a hurricanrana, leaving Vikingo and Tigger to hit running flip dives to the floor. Back in and Tigger and company hit a 450/moonsault/shooting star press for the triple pin at 7:33.

Rating: C+. Much like the opener, this was a bunch of people trying to get in as much as they could to showcase themselves. Unlike the opener, this one didn’t have as many people around and it made things that much easier to follow. If nothing else, commentary knowing who they were watching helped just as much. Do this alone instead of both matches and it’s a much better pre-show.

The ring announcer (as translated by Ramirez) welcomes us to the show and pitches the official program. The Spanish broadcast team is introduced (the matching ties are nice) and so is the president of the company.

The National Anthem is played, with a live military band.

The announcer hypes up the crowd about the main event.

The opening video (with the camera just pointed at the screen) looks at TripleManias past, set to Dream On by Aerosmith.

We get some banners of various deceased legends, including company founder Antonio Pena (whose wife, the president, is holding his urn, because that’s not at least a little creepy).

Hernandez/La Hiedra/Mamba/Mini Psycho Clown vs. Big Mami/Dinastia/Estrella Divina/Mascara de Bronce

This is an Atomicos match, which I believe means a man, a woman, an exotico (man dressed as a woman) and a mini. Bronce starts with Clown (not that much shorter) and sends him outside for a good looking step up flip dive. Mami comes in but gets dropped by Hernandez, only to come back with a kiss. Everything breaks down fast and Bronce breaks up Hernandez’s slam attempt on Mami (and he was struggling).

Clown sends Bronce outside for a bit flip dive, followed by a springboard corkscrew dive from Dinastia. Hernandez cuts off Bronce’s dive and powerbombs him onto the pile, followed by Hernandez hitting his own huge dive. Mami dives off the middle rope to crush everyone and it’s time to head back inside. Hernandez and Bronce fight to the back and Clown rolls Dinastia up for two. Dinastia’s standing moonsault gets two, with Mamba making the save. Hiedra gets in a chair shot to Mami though and Mamba steals the pin at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was all over the place and in this case, that’s exactly the point. These things are designed to be pure chaos with everyone going all over the place and it went well enough. The dives were impressive and the fans were into a lot of it, making it a rather fun opener. Just maybe don’t have the villains win to kick off the show?

The ring announcer again polls the fans about the main event.

Reina de Reinas Title: Lady Shani vs. Ayako Hamada vs. Rosemary vs. Sexy Star

Star is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Of note, Rosemary is from Global Force Wrestling, because that was a thing at this point. Rosemary suplexes Star to the floor to start but Shani and Hamada take Rosemary down. Back up and Rosemary slugs away but Star is right back for some shots to everyone. Hamada grabs a chair and takes out Star, only to have Shani kick the chair into Hamada’s face.

Now it’s a trashcan being thrown…well in the vicinity of the ring, as Hamada doesn’t clear the top rope in a bit of an embarrassing miss. Rosemary grabs a full nelson with her legs on Shani and Hamada cranks on one of Shani’s legs for a tap….but that doesn’t count because it’s a double submission so we keep going (I’ve always thought that should be an elimination or something, as it’s hard to fathom tapping to two people not having some kind of consequence.).

Shani is put in a chair and has a trashcan put on top of her but topples over due to unconsciousness. Star comes back in and gets WHACKED with a trashcan lid. She’s fine enough to powerbomb Hamada out of the corner for two, with Rosemary having to make the save. Shani is back up with some kicks to Rosemary, who pulls her into something of a Last Chancery. That’s broken up by Star, who gets Stunnered by Rosemary. Star is able to Iconoclasm Rosemary off the top and grabs a cross armbreaker to retain at 9:57. She takes her sweet time letting go too.

Rating: C-. It was pretty much just a bunch of weapons stuff while commentary praised Sexy Star as being this huge deal. As for the match, there was little to no flow or story to it other than Star making a comeback at the end. Rosemary and Hamada are capable of more and I’ve seen Star be ok. Shani was billed as a hardcore specialist and that was only kind of on display here. It wasn’t horrible, but the ending was out of nowhere and it felt like they were told “go do stuff and then finish it now”.

Oh and one more thing: the armbreaker that Star used on Rosemary wound up being a shoot, legitimately injuring Rosemary and more or less banishing Star to the indies for the rest of her career. Pretty much, no one of note was going to put up with her attacking a wrestler for no valid reason and that was it. The title would be vacated a few weeks later as Star was done with AAA. If a wrestler legitimately attacks someone else in the ring without just cause, I’m not sure what kind of a future they would be expecting to have.

With THAT out of the way, Martha Villalobos, a legend and former champion, comes out to present Star with the belt in a moment I’m sure AAA won’t want to have back immediately.

The ring announcer shills the program.

Vampiro and someone who seems to be a sponsor are here to announce the winners of the Llaves a la Gloria. Third place is Ashley, second is El Hijo del Vikingo and the winner is….Angelikal. As a bonus, Vampiro has the rest of the contestants get inside, where they are told they will be the first group of students at the new AAA school.

Tag Team Titles: Andrew Everett/DJZ vs. Monster Clown/Murder Clown vs. Aerostar/Drago vs. Dark Cuervo/Dark Scoria

Cuervo/Scoria are defending and this is one fall to a finish. The Clowns whip out a belt to start the whipping but Aerostar and Drago take over on DJZ. An assisted tornado DDT gets two on Everett but the champs are back in to double clothesline Drago. Back in and the Clowns get to clean the ring save for Aerostar, who gets whipped with the belt. Aerostar fights back and sends the Clowns outside for the suicide dive.

Cuervo and Scoria hit dives of their own, followed by the rather large Murder Clown hitting his own big flip dive. Back in and Murder Clown gets caught on top with a Tower Of Doom. Aerostar is raised up the lighting grid and then asks to go even higher. We get some near falls but keep cutting up to Aerostar as they keep going up. He finally hits the dive to clear out the pile and three wrestlers run in for a beatdown.

Commentary doesn’t know who they are and they’re ejected just as fast (Apparently they’re El Poder del Norte, a heel stable. Thanks review from someone else, because commentary is rather worthless on this show.). The champs fight back but a third Clown (he has purple hair) comes in to help take them out. Cuervo and Scoria fight back, only to have Marty Martinez (from Lucha Underground) run in and help the Clowns as well. A top rope splash gives Murder the double pin on the champs for the titles at 13:28.

Rating: D+. The huge dive was impressive looking and there were some cool spots, but this was another match where it felt like they weren’t really doing much of anything until the ending when everything went nuts. The Clowns felt like the bigger deal but the whole match felt like a bunch of teams thrown out there for the sake of having a Tag Team Title match. Well that and so Aerostar could do a crazy dive because he seems to be a little nuts.

Post match the Clowns keep up the beating and Marty leaves with the purple haired clown.

We get a speech from the President of the company (the widow of founder Antonio Pena), who talks about wrestlers who have passed away during the TripleMania years.

We get a video on the wrestlers who have passed away. Nothing wrong with something like that.

BUY MERCHANDISE!

Torneo TripleMania XXV

So from what I can tell this is a ten trios (30 people) battle royal with lumberjacks. It also seems that there are teams from different eras to give it a bit of a theme. We’re also doing staggered entrances ala the Royal Rumble (90 second intervals), so it’s Team Ex-AAA (Heavy Metal/Pirata Morgan/Villano IV) in at #1 and Relevos Incredibles (Australian Suicide/Faby Apache/Pimpinela Escarlata) in at #2 to start. It’s a brawl to start as the lumberjacks (with straps) get into it on the floor.

Los OGT’s (Averno/Chessman/Super Fly) are in at #3 and a lot of stomping/near eliminations ensue. Granted I’m not completely sure who is almost out as, again, commentary seems to have no idea who is who, but why let that stop you? Los Vipers (Histeria/Maniaco/Psicosis), who even I’ve heard of, are in at #4 and Psicosis has a huge snake around his neck. The Vipers start cleaning house as I don’t believe anyone has been eliminated yet. Los Guapos (Decnis/Scorpio Jr./Zumbido) are in at #5 as this is rather hard to keep track of, a statement commentary makes as well.

A high crossbody completely misses for I believe Histeria and Los Perros del Mal (Halloween/Joe Lider/Mr. Aguila) are in at #6. We get some rapid fire pinfalls (no names mentioned and no word on if those individuals or their teams are out) and the Mexican Powers (Crazy Boy/Lanzelot/Nina Hamburguesa) are in at #7. They get to clean house for a bit, including the nearly 400lb Nino coming off the top with a missed Swanton, until La Parka y sus Amigos (La Parka/Argenis/Bengala) are in at #8.

As they come to the ring, everyone gets on Nino for the pin, followed by Los Vipers getting to clean some house. Los Leyendas (Blue Demon Jr./El Cobrade/El Intocable, the Legends) are in at #9 and get to clean more house. Team GFW (Moose/Bobby Lashley/Jeff Jarrett) are in at #10 to complete the field….or at least they should be, as it’s just Lashley on his own.

Lashley gets to wreck some people on the grounds of he’s Bobby Lashley, but the clock starts counting down again. Commentary is confused (it’s not that hard) and it gets even worse when no one comes out. Moose comes out on his own and just kind of stands around awkwardly, which isn’t his style.

Jarrett finally comes out and…..yeah there’s no way around it: Jarrett was very out of it (quite possibly drunk) at this show, to the point where he can barely get down the steps to the ring. To his credit, he would take time away from the ring shortly after this (and at least one other incident) and reportedly got clean, so good for him for dealing with his problems. As for tonight though, Jarrett takes FOREVER to get to the ring, as he is throwing tortillas to the crowd, which isn’t going well whatsoever. For some reason Moose and Lashley are fighting each other on the floor as Jarrett gets inside. Jarrett punches a bunch of people and kicks Parka low, leaving him the only one standing.

Parka finally gets up and slugs it out with Jarrett as we actually have something resembling a match for a second. A DDT plants Jarrett for the pin (POP) and we pause for Parka’s music, even though the match isn’t over. Commentary isn’t sure what is going on (shocking) as Jarrett is yelling at fans. The rest of the OGT’s clear house and go for Parka’s mask….until Chessman shoves Super Fly (his partner) off the top and out. So we’re down to Chessman, Averno and Parka, but Averno hits Chessman (again, his partner) low for a pin. Then Parka small packages Averno for the final pin (thank goodness) at 26:41.

Rating: F. I spent the better part of half an hour watching this and I have no idea what was going on. The problem is that commentary didn’t seem to either, to the point where there might have been five names mentioned here, with most of them being Team GFW. I’m sure this was about getting Parka a moment and having a bunch of names in there, but it’s a case where if you aren’t already a fan, this isn’t going to make things better. The fact that the only reason I knew most of the names was the show’s Wikipedia didn’t help, but it isn’t like there was commentary or a graphic to tell me who was involved.

On top of that, it was a terrible battle royal, where the rules weren’t clear, some people (Lashley/Moose) just left, I had no idea who was eliminated (or how to eliminate someone for that matter) and nothing was clear in the slightest. You can do something like this with the Gimmick Battle Royal, but that was about four minutes, not almost twenty seven (longest of the show so far). Absolutely horrible here and one of the worst matches I’ve seen in a very long time for more reasons that I can count (ok I can count them but I don’t want to waste any more time on this mess).

Post match La Parka, Bengala and Argenis get a belt, with Parka getting all of the glory.

El Mesias vs. Pagano

Street fight and they start in the aisle (as commentary didn’t seem to think this match was scheduled next) with Mesias knocking him into the ring. Pagano scores with a spinwheel kick, as commentary is surprised he included a wrestling move. A springboard bulldog drops Mesias again but he’s back with a shot to the face. Back up and Pagano knocks him into the corner, only to get sent outside.

Mesias gets in some chair shots as we get at least the third arena wide shot of the match (about five minutes in). The beating goes around the ring, with Mesias sending him into a trashcan. They go up the aisle with Mesias getting a suplex but having a beer thrown into his face. Back to the ring they go, with some barbed wire being brought in because of course it is. Pagano gets the better of a slugout and runs him over, setting up a Russian legsweep.

Mesias is knocked outside so Pagano hits a running flip dive, followed by a hanging piledriver back inside. And now the barbed wire, which Pagano puts in front of his chest on a missed moonsault. Pagano is back with a Regal Roll into a Lionsault, which has commentary questioning the impact of the barbed wire. Mesias is knocked outside for an apron dropkick as things slow down.

They get back inside with Mesias whipping out a barbed wire bat, which is kicked away. The fans are rather displeased as Mesias hits a faceplant onto the bat. Back up and Pagano gets in a bat shot to Mesias’ knee….which is enough to warrant a referee stoppage at 16:40, because I guess just covering Mesias was out of the question?

Rating: D. This was slow, plodding, didn’t get overly violent until near the ending and then had a dumb finish on top of that. If Mesias is hurt then it’s understandable, but it was his leg. Have Pagano cover him for a fast pin instead of just stopping everything cold in a street fight. Other than that, this just wasn’t good and both guys appeared to be moving in slow motion for a lot of it. If you want this to be some violent match then go there rather than do something this lame.

Post match Rey Escorpion, in street clothes, comes in to deck Pagano and then go after Mesias, who is on a stretcher.

AAA World Title/AAA Latin American Title/AAA Cruiserweight Title: Johnny Mundo vs. El Hijo del Fantasma vs. Texano Jr.

Mundo (John Morrison/etc) is defending, comes out to Born In The USA, and this is a ladder match. Fantasma would go on to become known as Santos Escobar while Texano would go on to continue to be known as Texano Jr. The challengers chop it out to start and Mundo gets knocked down for trying to bring in some weapons. Texano grabs a chair to blast Fantasma and starts ripping at the mask, allowing Mundo to add a top rope elbow.

Mundo dropkicks a ladder into Texano and superkicks Fantasma for a bonus. A pair of tables are set up at ringside but everyone realizes that there are belts to grab and go for the ladder. Texano clears the ring, leaving Fantasma to load a table against the barricade. Mundo dropkicks Texano off the top but gets knocked off a ladder (which was nowhere near high enough anyway as the belts are WAY up there). Fantasma hits his great dive into Texano into (but not through) the leaning table.

Texano is back up and sends Fantasma through the table, followed by a Swanton onto Fantasma onto the broken table. With Fantasma VERY busted open, Mundo goes up but gets pulled down by Texano. Mundo bridges a ladder on the middle rope but takes too long posing, allowing Fantasma to dropkick him down. Fantasma drops Texano onto the bridged ladder, seemingly busting him open too.

The ladder is set in the middle as the belts come down a bit. Mundo’s climb takes too long as well and Texano shoves the ladder over, sending Mundo down and onto (not through) a table at ringside. Fantasma dives over a ladder bridged into a standing one to forearm Texano, only to get knocked into the ladder. More tables are set up in the ring, with Fantasma backdropping Texano onto the bridged ladder for a nasty crash.

Cue Kevin Kross (Karrion Kross, Mundo’s lackey) to make the save but Mascara de Bronce comes out to stop Kross, who was climbing for some reason. Now it’s Hernandez (another Mundo lackey, or stooge as commentary puts it) to get knocked outside as well, leaving Bronce to hit a heck of a springboard moonsault to take him down.

Kross chokeslams Bronce onto the apron but Fantasma takes him down. Mundo ladders Fantasma in the face but all three wind up climbing. Fantasma knocks Texano down for a big crash, leaving Mundo to get in a low blow to drop Fantasma as well. All three belts are pulled down and Mundo retains at 22:49.

Rating: B. It wasn’t a classic or anything but for a triple threat ladder match with a bunch of interference, this could have been a lot worse. Mundo feels like a star and has the gold to prove it while the other two felt like they had him multiple times, only to come up short. Maybe it was everything else being so bad/horrible, but I had a good time with this one as Mundo feels like a much bigger deal here than in WWE.

Post match Mundo brags about his win and calls out…Vampiro. Mundo throws down the title and here is Vampiro to interrupt. Vampiro won’t look at him, as Mundo demands that Vampiro put the belt on him. Mundo yells at him, spits at him and shoves him, which is finally enough for Vampiro to grab a chokeslam. With Mundo on the floor, Vampiro threatens violence before leaving as well.

With everyone else gone, Fantasma and Texano trade chair shots to the head and both are left laying. Well that was cringe inducing.

Video on Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Psycho Clown, both of whom have been training rather hard. They don’t seem to like each other.

Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Psycho Clown

Mask vs. Mask and this is billed as the biggest lucha match of the decade. Hold on though as a woman has to sing the National Anthem before we’re ready to go. We’re ready to go and Clown misses a dropkick, allowing Wagner to clothesline away as commentary isn’t sure how many falls this is (it’s one). Wagner chokes away in the corner before they go outside, with the brawl heading into the crowd.

Back in and Psycho hits a spinwheel kick as the fans aren’t sure who they like here. Wagner ties him up on the mat but Psycho is right next to the ropes. We get the expected mask ripping before Wagner hits him in the head with the chair. Psycho is busted open so Wagner enjoys some of it on his hand. There’s another chair shot to knock Clown even sillier, as commentary wonders what happens if you rip off a mask in a mask vs. mask match.

They head outside with Wagner slowly beating on Psycho, who can barely stagger away. Clown gets knocked up and back down the apron but manages to make a comeback with some clotheslines back inside. Clown knocks him outside and hits the dive but the running flip dive only hits mat (instead of Wagner’s son, who is ringside as well). Back in and Clown rips at Wagner’s mask for a change before whacking him in the face with a chair.

A hanging DDT gets Wagner out of trouble for two. Clown gets a quick rollup for two, with commentary pointing out how slow the referee has been to get into position (Jesse Ventura would not approve). Wagner knocks him outside and hits the big flipping dive, setting up a Samoan drop into the fans.

Back in and a top rope superplex gives Wagner two, followed by Clown’s Samoan drop getting the same. Wagner shrugs off a kick to the face though and hits the Wagner (Michinoku) Driver for two more. Another Wagner Driver gets another near fall and the fans are rather interested. Clown grabs a superplex of his own into a Backstabber and a Code Red gives him the pin at 28:40.

Rating: B+. What mattered here is it felt like a struggle as these two did not want to lose everything. It made the match feel that much more important and I don’t think anything else could have come close to headlining. Clown is someone who has felt like a star every time I’ve seen him, but Wagner has always felt like a legend. The ending felt like a very big deal and that is how you want your main event to go. The action was more than good enough, but the atmosphere made it feel that much bigger.

We get the big ceremony of the unmasking, but first Wagner has to announce his real name (Juan Manuel Gonzalez Barron) and hometown (Torreon). He praises Clown and talks about being a legend, before unmasking and thanking Clown. There are kids crying in the crowd as Wagner huddles with his family. As Wagner and company leave, Clown stops him to say it was an honor and praise Wagner. Clown celebrates and we get a highlight package of the main event to end the show.

There really isn’t a translation to this kind of thing in America, but egads it comes off like the biggest deal in the world in a situation like this. Wagner is a legend and now everything about him has changed because of one match. That’s a pretty major deal and they treated it as such with the post match time.

Overall Rating: D+. The last two matches are very good and they bring the show up about as high as it can go. The problem is that everything before that was an absolute disaster with one of the weakest stretches I’ve ever seen as there wasn’t a good match to be seen in the first two or so hours of the show show. I’m not sure what went wrong, but if this show didn’t have the two main events, this could have been an all time disaster. As it is, it’s WAY too long and not good, but at least it could have been worse (barely).

 

 

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NXT
Date: June 10, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Mauro Ranallo, Beth Phoenix

We’re done with Takeover: In Your House and the only major change was Io Shirai winning the Women’s Title. Other than that, Adam Cole is still NXT Champion and needs a new challenger. Tonight he faces Dexter Lumis in a match that has me worried. Finn Balor and Keith Lee would seem to be the next big challengers so let’s get to it.

Here’s Takeover if you need a recap.

Takeover recap.

Here’s the Undisputed Era for a chat. Adam Cole talks about how he’s still champion because while Velveteen Dream is a great challenger, but he’s not Adam Cole bay-bay. As for what’s next, what difference does it make? The rest of the team yells about Lumis being weird and stuffing them in a trunk (Strong: “YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE BEING STUFFED IN TRUNKS!”). Strong keeps thinking he seems Lumis in the crowd and Cole is tired of hearing about it. Cole has this tonight, so don’t worry about Lumis. As the team is leaving, Lumis pops up and Strong panics.

Post break, the Era runs into Keith Lee and Mia Yim. Lee likes the look of the NXT Title but Cole says in his dreams.

Keith Lee/Mia Yim vs. Johnny Gargano/Candice LeRae

Back with Yim being knocked into the corner, only to have Mia hit Soul Food. The hot tag brings in Lee to beat up Gargano, including Grizzly Magnum. A crazy high toss sends Gargano flying so LeRae tags herself in. That’s fine with Lee, who carries both of them at once. LeRae’s DDT is blocked with ease so Gargano kicks him in the head to make the DDT work. Yim is back in with a kick to the face and a dragon suplex drops Candice again.

Gargano makes the save so Mia hammers on him as well, including a German suplex. Candice hits Soul Food on Mia though and a Lionsault gets two. Gargano comes back in but Mia low bridges him to the floor, allowing her to kick at Candice. Lee Pounces Gargano right into Mia though, allowing Gargano to hit the slingshot suplex, right onto LeRae. Lee immediately checks on her and picks her up, but Gargano rolls him up for the pin at 10:48, sending Candice flying in the process.

Rating: C+. There’s your setup for the rematch as Gargano looks even more evil than usual. That’s the kind of thing you have to do to make him a heel and it worked well here. It was a good match with the man vs. woman stuff not seeming contrived or ridiculous, which is one of the biggest dangers of trying something like that.

We look at Finn Balor beating Damian Priest at Takeover.

Priest wouldn’t change a thing and wanted the match for a reason. The match was the next step in Priest’s name living forever and he accomplished his progress.

Cameron Grimes is ready for Finn Balor tonight but doesn’t think much of Priest’s loss. Priest comes up and decks Grimes with a forearm to the jaw.

Video on Io Shirai winning the Women’s Title, with Asuka and Shinsuke Nakamura being excited for her.

Indus Sher vs. Mike Reed/Mikey Delbrey

Reed gets kicked in the face to start and a running splash in the corner makes it worse. A side slam/middle rope legdrop combination (with the leg possibly not coming close) finishes Reed at 1:05. Total squash.

Cameron Grimes is claiming a broken jaw and doesn’t think he can wrestle tonight. William Regal wants to hear it from Grimes himself.

Post break Grimes is hitting on some women and doesn’t know that Regal is watching from a tablet. Grimes instantly remembers his injury so Regal says the match is on.

Video on Breezango, who need to take things more seriously. It’s not that they can’t go in the ring, because Fandango debuted at Wrestlemania and won (against someone not worthy of naming). They’re going to be entertaining but take things seriously, starting next week against Imperium for the Tag Team Titles.

We look at Karrion Kross beating Tommaso Ciampa in pretty dominant fashion.

Ciampa stayed late after Takeover was over but didn’t have anything to say.

Rhea Ripley isn’t happy with her loss but here’s the still disheveled Robert Stone to offer a partnership. Ripley doesn’t seem impressed but he thinks it’s a maybe. She hits him low and slams him onto a crate. I’m curious where the Stone deal is going, though it’s not likely to mean much.

Finn Balor vs. Cameron Grimes

Grimes hides in the corner to start before getting his arm caught in a hammerlock. Some uppercuts knock Balor to the ropes but he’s right back with an elbow to the face. Balor kicks him down and we hit the chinlock to slow things down. Back up and some running chops in the corner rock Grimes again and the fans seem to approve. Grimes takes him down by the leg but needs to stop for a rub of his sore chest.

Balor rolls through a sunset flip into a basement dropkick though and they head outside. That’s fine with Balor, who can hit a running chop and a whip into the barricade. Back in and Grimes hits a heck of a clothesline to set up his own chinlock, which seems a bit more appropriate. Grimes runs him over again and we take a break.

We come back with Grimes shouting a lot until Balor kicks him out of the corner. There’s the Sling Blade into the John Woo dropkick but the Coup de Grace misses. Grimes is back with a forearm to the face and 1916 is countered into a small package for two. A spinning slam gives Grimes two but Balor avoids a charge and hits the reverse 1916 for two more. The Coup de Grace into the 1916 finishes Grimes at 12:37.

Rating: B-. These guys beat each other up and they have done a good job of making Grimes into someone with some value. At the same time though, Balor hasn’t looked like this in a long time. He’s coming off as a top star and someone who could beat anyone at the moment. Keep this up and show what Balor really can do as a top star.

Post match Balor calls out Keith Lee for a North American Title match.

Dakota Kai vs. Kacy Catanzaro

Raquel Gonzalez is here with Kai. Kacy takes her down in a hurry for a slingshot hilo and they’re on the floor in a hurry with Catanzaro snapping off a hurricanrana. Back in and a slingshot kick takes Kai down again. This time though, Kai sends her face first into the buckle but charges into a sunset flip for two. Kai is back with the scorpion kick into the GTK for the pin at 2:29. This could have been worse as Kacy is someone who has all kinds of positives but she needs a lot more experience. Kai is getting a lot better as a heel too and I like seeing her beat people up.

Post match the beating continues but Kayden Carter runs out for the save. Gonzalez takes Carter out though and the villains stand tall.

Timothy Thatcher is training some unseen wrestlers and promises to make it barbaric and violent. They will begin next week after their legal clearances are in.

Here’s El Hijo del Fantasma for a chat but before he can say much, here’s Drake Maverick to interrupt. Maverick wants to say congratulations because Fantasma is a phenomenal competitor. People have been talking about Drake’s situation but it should be about Fantasma, who debuted in this tournament and then won it. However, Maverick has been curious what would have happened had his head been clear last week (though he said that it was last week) and now he knows he can beat Fantasma.

The champ is down but here are the masked men from last week….and Fantasma headbutts Drake. The other two come in for the big beatdown, with the masked men unmasking as Joaquin Wilde and Raul Mendoza. Fantasma gives Drake the Phantom Driver and unmasks himself, saying his name is Santos Escobar. Wilde and Mendoza hit stereo top rope splashes and the trio poses.

The Undisputed Era is in their dressing room and Strong finds a drawing from Lumis. Panic ensues but Cole says he’s got this. Cole and Fish leave and Strong sees Lumis looking through the window.

Next week, Tegan Nox and Shotzi Blackheart get a Women’s Tag Team Title shot. Also, Imperium defends against Breezango.

Dexter Lumis vs. Adam Cole

Non-title and Strong/Fish are here with Cole. Lumis takes him into the corner to start so Cole stomps away. That goes nowhere and Lumis kicks away without much trouble. Cole bails to the floor and comes back in to stomp away. Lumis powers him up and throws him away (that looked good), with Cole bailing to the apron. This time Cole kicks him down and we take a break.

Back with Cole dropping him for two and hammering away at Lumis’ head. Lumis is starting to get annoyed so Cole drops him with a neckbreaker. This time Lumis fights up with a bulldog into a slingshot suplex for two. Lumis’ German suplex gets two but Cole snaps off a superkick for two more.

There’s a spinebuster to plant Cole but he sends Lumis to the floor. Lumis crawls underneath the ring though and grabs another spinebuster for another two. The Swanton hits knees but Lumis is right back with the head and arm choke. Fish offers a distraction though and Strong makes the save to overcome his fear. The Last Shot finishes Lumis at 12:20.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t a bad match but there is no reason to be interested in Lumis. Other than he’s creepy and draws pictures, what else is there to know about him? This shouldn’t be anything big and thankfully it seemed to be a one off match against Cole. It’s fine to do something with him on a lower level, but Cole has bigger opponents to face.

Post match Cole talks trash but Lumis pulls him into the choke. The rest of the team comes in, drawing in Velveteen Dream for the save. Cole is left alone in the ring….and there go most of the lights. Cue Scarlet to put an hourglass on the apron. Fans: “TICK TOCK!” Scarlet leaves and Cole is worried to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good fallout show from Takeover and you can see a lot of where things are going from here. I’m not sure how that is going to work as we could be months away from another Takeover, but NXT knows how to set up some big TV shows in advance. This week was about setting up for the future in a hurry and that isn’t a bad idea in this situation.

Results

Johnny Gargano/Candice LeRae b. Mia Yim/Keith Lee – Rollup to Lee

Indus Sher b. Mike Reed/Mikey Delbrey – Side slam/middle rope legdrop combination to Reed

Finn Balor b. Cameron Grimes – 1916

Dakota Kai b. Kacy Catanzaro – GTK

Adam Cole b. Dexter Lumis – Last Shot

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 24, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

We’re back to an old problem that this show has had many times before: not much is really standing out. Sure there’s some good stuff going on, but it’s not exactly sticking as something that leaves much of an impact. The big stories are still Austin Aries vs. Pentagon Jr. and Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards, but they’re both starting to feel a bit long. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long and rather detailed recap of last week’s show. That’s a good idea.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Drago/Aerostar

Drago wastes no time in diving onto everyone with a corkscrew dive and Aerostar adds a springboard trust fall dive. They head inside for the opening bell and Jake kicks Drago in the head. We hit a very early chinlock but Aerostar comes in for the save. A dropkick to the face keeps Dave in trouble but Jake kicks away to take over. We go split screen to show Eddie Edwards arriving with a kendo stick and ignoring his wife’s pleas for him to stop. Cue Eddie with the stick to hit Jake in the back for the DQ at 4:40.

Rating: C-. I was starting to get into this one as OVE was doing the stuff that made them work in the first place. The Eddie goes psycho stuff is interesting but I’m almost worried about where it’s going to go. Eddie as a psycho who eventually goes full heel could have potential and it seems that they’re going that way, though I’d be worried about an attempt to make Sami a face in some twisted way.

Post match Eddie’s wife Alisha pleads with him to stop but six people have to hold him back.

Post break Alisha yells at him but Eddie vows to destroy Eddie. She accuses him of becoming Sami.

The announcers talk about next week’s show.

LAX vs. Cult of Lee

They head outside for a brawl to start as the announcers talk about LAX needing to win to get back on track. Ortiz gets sent into the steps and Santana posts himself by mistake (that’s the kind of problems some good Konnan advice could prevent) as we take an early break. Back with Ortiz in trouble and getting forearmed in the face.

A belly to back gets two but a suplex into a Stunner is enough for the hot tag to Santana. Everything breaks down and a Death Valley Driver/DDT combination (cool) gets two on Konley. LAX loads up some kind of a double team with a wheelbarrow slam but Lee pulls Ortiz to the floor, allowing Konley to roll Santana up (with trunks) for the pin at 11:39.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere with the break in the middle but the downward spiral for LAX continues. I’m curious to see how they get out of this, especially with the chance that Konnan isn’t coming back. LAX is a good team and it’s clear that they have something in mind for them, though they need someone new to feud against.

Jimmy Jacobs says Moose is the problem and Kongo Kong is going to solve that tonight.

KM is giving Fallah Bahh another pep talk. They run into Grado and Katarina with KM asking what she sees in him. Apparently she likes big guys.

To fill in some time, here’s a segment from 2013 with Jeff Hardy and Bully Ray hyping up their World Title match at Lockdown.

We look back at Madison Rayne saving Kiera Hogan from Tessa Blanchard last week.

Madison says the Knockouts Division is built on respect and doesn’t like the bullying she saw last week. Tessa comes in and rants about Madison getting involved in her job. Next time, meet her in the ring. That’s what she did last week.

DJZ and Andrew Everett know they can compete with any team and will face anyone. Scott Steiner and Eli Drake come in for some yelling. This turns into Drake and Steiner arguing.

X-Division Title: El Hijo Del Fantasma vs. Matt Sydal

Sydal is defending. Fantasma offers a handshake so Sydal bows to him and touches the mask. A quick takedown has Sydal glaring up at him before sending Fantasma to the apron. That’s fine with the masked one who headscissors Sydal down for two and the champ begs off. An armbar into something like a one armed cobra clutch has Fantasma in trouble and a standing legdrop gets two.

Fantasma fights up and a baseball slide puts Sydal on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sydal being dropped face first onto the steps but avoiding a top rope double stomps. The Thrill of the Kill is broken up so Fantasma grabs a modified Indian Deathlock of all things. With that not working, he just slams Sydal’s knee into the mat but Matt grabs his stacked up cradle to retain at 13:18.

Rating: C+. I’m still not wild on Sydal as champion with this third eye thing which isn’t fitting him very well. Granted it’s still better than having Josh Matthews there, which didn’t fit him either. Fantasma did well enough here and is fine for something like this, at least with putting on a good singles match instead of a messy four way spot fest.

LAX rants about everything falling apart when Eddie Kingston comes in. He says Konnan is in a good place and that he’s the next in the chain of command. It’s time to get LAX back to where they were before by getting them back to their roots.

Video on Austin Aries vs. Pentagon Jr.

The announcers talk about the World Title match and say they’ve stepped up security to prevent attacks this week.

Dezmond Xavier vs. Petey Williams

The winner gets to face Brian Cage next week. Feeling out process to start with Xavier’s headlock takeover not getting him anywhere. Some standing switches go nowhere so Xavier hits a great dropkick for two. A headscissors to the floor has Xavier down and we take a break. Back with Petey grabbing a chinlock and getting two off a belly to back suplex. Petey takes him to the corner but gets German superplexed back down.

That means a big flip dive to the floor but it’s too early for the Final Flash. The delayed Downward Spiral plants Xavier and a crucifix gives Petey two. Petey’s slingshot Codebreaker isn’t enough to set up the Canadian Destroyer do Dezmond kicks him in the head. The backflip kick to the head sends Xavier on to next week at 12:01.

Rating: C+. They were really starting to turn it up at the end but that wasn’t enough to make it especially good. I’m glad they went with Xavier as he’s more interesting than Williams, who still only has one move for the most part. I need more to a match than hearing him trying for the Destroyer fourteen times in a match.

Allie is in Rosemary face paint (that actually works very well) and says she knows this isn’t what Rosemary wants but it’s how it has to be.

Next week, Allie defends against Su Yung in a Last Rites (casket) match.

Moose vs. Kongo Kong

There’s no Jimmy Jacobs in sight this week. Kong shoves him away to start and hits the big clubbing forearms to the back. Moose’s dropkick doesn’t have much effect so they head outside with Moose being sent hard into the steps. The Cannonball crushes Moose against the steps and gets two back inside.

We hit the nerve hold (as required), which Kong makes look even lazier than usual. A shot to the back cuts Moose off but he wants Kong to hit him even harder. The running corner dropkick finally puts Kong down but the Game Changer is countered into a fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. Kong’s top rope splash misses and it’s three straight bicycle kicks to set up a slam. The spear puts Kong away at 8:56.

Rating: D. Moose was trying here but there’s a firm limit on what you can do with Kong. That nerve hold in the middle looked terrible and it was more of the fat man offense that looks embarrassing instead of anything good. I’m hoping we don’t get another match between these guys because Jacobs wasn’t here. Kong needs to go away for good and hopefully slaying the monster causes just that.

Post match the X logo appears on screen and we see a recap of the attacks. A voiceover talks about death riding with him as we see Jacobs down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a really flat show with nothing really standing out and little of interest. Some of the wrestling was perfectly fine but it didn’t make me want to see more. The X attacker is interesting, though you can pretty easily pencil it in as Brian Cage (not a bad thing). It’s nice to have something to keep you interested, because Drake arguing with Steiner, the same tag matches we’ve seen for a long time and Sydal with the third eye isn’t doing it for me.

Results

OVE b. Aerostar/Drago via DQ when Eddie Edwards interfered

Cult of Lee b. LAX – Rollup with trunks to Santana

Matt Sydal b. El Hijo Del Fantasma – Stacked Up Cradle

Dezmond Xavier b. Petey Williams – Backflip kick to the head

Moose b. Kongo Kong – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 17, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews

Last week’s main event wasn’t the most interesting as it left us without many places to go in the World Title scene. Pentagon Jr. easily dispatched Eli Drake and likely only has a rematch with Austin Aries to go. Other than that, it’s hard to say where things are going to go around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at the big stories, including Brian Cage’s World Tour, the X attacker and Sami Callihan jumping Don Callis last week.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: DJZ/Andrew Everett vs. Eli Drake/Scott Steiner

Drake and Steiner are defending. Everett and Drake start things off but DJZ comes in for an early double spinebuster. Steiner gets in a shot to the back though and a neckbreaker drops DJZ. The belly to belly (not butterfly Josh) suplex gets two and it’s back to Drake to drive DJZ into the corner.

Steiner’s super Samoan drop plants DJZ but not well enough as a kick to the face allows the hot tag to Everett. Everything breaks down and Drake tries the Gravy Train on DJZ but a Codebreaker from Everett sets up a Code Red for a rather creative near fall. Drake breaks up Everett’s springboard but Steiner chairs Drake in the head by mistake. A quick standing shooting star from Everett is good for the pin at 6:22.

Post break the new champs celebrate and say it’s been a long road for the both of them. They’ve been a team for ONE WEEK. I know that’s not exactly what they were going for but it was a bad line.

Madison Rayne is here for commentary for the next match.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Kiera Hogan

Kiera jumps Tessa right after the bell (nothing wrong with that) and Madison approves. Unfortunately that means Madison was doing commentary, which really isn’t her strong suit. Tessa is right back with a forearm and a hanging Downward Spiral to really take over. The trash talking begins but Kiera comes back with forearms and a step up Fameasser for two. That’s it for Kiera though as a cutter and a hammerlock DDT are enough to give Tessa the pin at 4:06.

Rating: D. Just a squash to get Tessa off the ground and likely the start of a setup for Madison vs. Blanchard. That’s not the most thrilling thing but it’s better than having Madison on commentary. She doesn’t have much emotion and is really analytical, which doesn’t make for the best wrestling announcer. Blanchard looked good though.

Post match Blanchard stays on Hogan but Madison comes in for the save.

Earlier today Grado and Katarina accused Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong of being the X attacker. Jacobs threatened Grado with Kong so Katarina set up the match.

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards, focusing on Sami’s series of attacks on various people, which drove Eddie over the edge.

Pentagon Jr. is ready for tonight’s tag team main event because he’s brought the Chocolate Champion (I don’t get it either) El Hijo Del Fantasma.

Kongo Kong vs. Grado

Can they just destroy each other? Oh and we’re never getting an explanation for how Grado is allowed back are we? Grado walks away from him to start before his right hands have no effect. A single uppercut drops Grado and a belly to belly gets two. Grado’s punches and Bionic elbow don’t do much but a top rope shoulder puts Kong down for a second. That’s about it though as a hard slam sets up the top rope splash for the pin on Grado at 3:34.

Rating: F. Imagine that: taking two of my least favorite people on the roster and putting them in a short, nearly comedy match wasn’t something I was going to enjoy. Kong is still a big fat guy who is nowhere near as impressive as Impact thinks he is while Grado is a small, uninteresting guy who is nowhere near as entertaining as Impact thinks he is. And those are their good points.

Post match Katarina bails as Grado gets hit with the steps but Moose comes out to break up another attempt.

LAX runs into the Cult of Lee, who laughs about Konnan being gone. I’m sure a match is coming.

Tommy Dreamer tried to talk Eddie out of the street fight but Eddie won’t hear it. This ends when Sami has no blood left.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

Street fight from House of Hardcore. Eddie wastes no time and attacks him before the bell, including a kick to the face. A suicide dive knocks Sami into the barricade and there’s something metal to the head. Josh gives us a full history of Sami being all evil until Sami gets in a pipe shot to the ribs. Eddie knocks a spike out of Sami’s hands but a Death Valley Driver on the ramp cuts Eddie off. They head to the ring (which they haven’t been in yet) and Eddie DDTs him on the apron, allowing them to finally get inside.

A kendo stick duel goes to Eddie as Josh compares this to Dreamer vs. Raven. At least they’re just saying what they’re doing this time. Sami spits in Eddie’s face and goes low, setting up Get Outta Here for two. Two chairs are set up and a Falcon Arrow onto them gives Sami two more in what I thought was the finish. Back up and the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C. So what’s the next match? I mean, you know that’s not going to be the end of the feud so what do they have next? My guess: something else where Sami is despicable and Dreamer tries to talk Eddie out of doing this because of something that happened in ECW twenty years ago and Sami is the most evil, horrible thing in the world while still not being anything more than someone who can’t get by without bad brawling. Just a hunch of course.

Post match Eddie chokes him with the bat until security comes out for the save. Dreamer comes out to stare at him as I wonder how well an Eddie heel run could go. Just don’t have him join Sami in some nonsensical turn.

From Destiny World Wrestling in Canada.

Brian Cage vs. Facade

Thankfully Josh gives us a quick bio on Facade, which is still more than when Cage beat the Noah World Champion last week. Facade gets thrown around to start and a powerbomb against the post makes things even worse. For some reason the cameras are staying on a wide shot, which isn’t the best look for a wrestling show. Some chops in the corner have Facade in trouble and a swinging full nelson slam gets two. We’re clipped to a pumphandle faceplant getting two on Facade, followed by a sitout Alabama Slam for two. Weapon X is good for the pin at 7:50 shown.

Rating: D+. The match quality was nothing compared to what we got last week but Josh told me something about this guy and Cage won in a squash from what we saw. This was Cage going around wrecking everything in front of him and it was a fun squash. I got more out of this than I did last week and that’s the point of this whole Cage deal.

From No Surrender 2011, Austin Aries beats Brian Kendrick.

Earlier today, KM praised Fallah Bahh on his weight loss. Next up, hair care. And a tie over bare chest. Bahh tried to hit on Kiera Hogan.

We recap the night.

We run down the card for next week and Under Pressure, two weeks from now. Aries will challenge Pentagon Jr. for the World Title in the main event.

We go to a cemetery where Su Yung and the undead bridesmaids are burying Rosemary. They drop the casket and set it on fire as Yung hisses. Nothing else is said.

El Hijo Del Fantasma/Pentagon Jr. vs. Austin Aries/Matt Sydal

Sydal and Fantasma start us off in a preview of next week’s title match. A headlock takeover gets Fantasma out of early trouble and it’s a standoff. Fantasma snaps off a hurricanrana and a double tag gives us Aries vs. Pentagon. The champ says CERO MIEDO and gets bopped on the chin. A kick to the ribs cuts Aries off and it’s time to go for the arm, sending Aries to the floor and us to a break.

Back with Pentagon superkicking Aries from the apron and Fantasma’s suicide dive getting caught on the ropes. Pentagon takes Aries back inside and grabs a chinlock, followed by What’s Up with Pentagon as D-Von and hitting a dropkick instead of a headbutt. A wheelbarrow Codebreaker combination gets two on Sydal but he’s right back up with a jawbreaker/backbreaker combination to both masked guys.

Aries’ slingshot corkscrew elbow keeps Fantasma in trouble and a top rope ax handle rocks him again. Sydal knees Aries in the face though and the hot tag brings in Pentagon for the Sling Blades. Fantasma’s cutter drops Sydal but Matt hurricanranas him off the top. Pentagon Jr. breaks up the shooting star with a superkick and the Thrill of the Kill gives Fantasma the pin on Sydal at 19:05.

Rating: C. Completely standard main event tag match here with two feuds put together to make a tag match. Fantasma pinning Sydal is fine and the right way to set something up for next week. Aries vs. Pentagon still doesn’t feel big no matter what they do, which is part of what’s wrong with Impact as a whole. The World Title should feel bigger than at least almost everything and that’s just not the case right now.

Overall Rating: D+. As usual, the problem with the new regime shines through: they’ve completely stabilized the stories but they’re not the most thrilling. Pentagon vs. Aries feels like nothing special, I forgot that Sydal was X-Division Champion, the comedy stuff isn’t funny and the Tag Team Titles are on life support because there are about three teams and Scott Steiner just lost a title. They need something interesting and big, which hasn’t been the case in a good while.

Results

Andrew Everett/DJZ b. Eli Drake/Scott Steiner – Standing shooting star press to Drake

Tessa Blanchard b. Kiera Hogan – Hammerlock DDT

Kongo Kong b. Grado – Top rope splash

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Boston Knee Party

Brian Cage b. Facade – Weapon X

El Hijo Del Fantasma/Pentagon Jr. b. Austin Aries/Matt Sydal – Thrill of the Kill to Sydal

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6