IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

Things are entering a new phase here as we’re done with Crossroads, meaning it’s time to get ready for the next big show. While that hasn’t been announced yet, there is at least a hint of the upcoming World Title feud with Alberto El Patron staring down Austin Aries last week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s episode if you need a recap.

Jeremy Borash (flashback time) is with everyone involved in Feast or Fired. The point of this: they’re all in Feast or Fired.

Recap of Crossroads. That really was a good show.

Opening sequence.

Sami Callihan vs. Fallah Bahh

Sami bounces off the huge Bahh and gets knocked into the corner by the power of the belly. The third knockdown has Sami bailing to the floor for a meeting with OVE. Their advice: shout a lot. Back in and Bahh takes him down to put a toe in Sami’s mouth. What’s the massive appeal of this guy again? Granted that could be said of Sami as well.

Callihan finally pulls him down by the head for a breather and some stomping keeps Bahh down for all of two seconds. A belly to belly plants Sami for two as the announcers plug the WrestleCon show. The Samoan drop connects but Sami is back up with a low blow and a Death Valley Driver (not bad) ends Bahh at 5:48.

Rating: D. Standard Yokozuna formula match here and that’s all you can do with someone Bahh’s size. I’m still not big on Callihan so keeping him short here was the right call. At least he didn’t horribly maim anyone this time around so things are looking up. As long as they keep Callihan around this level, everything will be fine. I’m worried that he’ll be moving up soon though and that’s just not a good idea.

Post match OVE loads up the chair and the bat on Bahh but Eddie Edwards runs in for the save with a pipe.

Matt Sydal is ready to unveil his spirit guide.

The hosts talk about the big stories with Josh dressing a little beneath the professional standard.

Classic Moment: Feast or Fired 2008.

Austin Aries has a sitdown interview and talks about having a pretty cool month. He plugs his new book and being vegan but here’s Alberto who needs to talk to Aries right now. Alberto welcomes him to the promotion (or back to it) before shifting to never losing the World Title. He brings in some wine and what looks like a steak but Aries will stick with the banana.

Alberto is offended and Aries tells him to chew with his mouth closed. They have a chew off until Aries stands up and Alberto backs off. He even hands Alberto a free book because he’s making a champion’s money now. Aries: “You remember what that feels like?” Alberto leaves and Aries has some wine.

Kiera Hogan comes up to congratulate Allie on her win and giggling ensues. Braxton Sutter comes in and wants to talk to Allie but she isn’t interested.

Here are Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs for a chat. Jimmy says he loves to hear himself talk because words have power. If you think he and Kong have done a lot to get Abyss back, you haven’t seen anything yet. Cue James Mitchell of all people, who says that he sees a lot of himself in Jacobs. They’re both evil geniuses and Kong is an impressive monster, though James has one of his own. He sold his soul to make Abyss World Champion but eventually the note came due.

Abyss was pushed so far that his personality split into Joseph Park. Mitchell doesn’t like what he’s been seeing done to the Park family (Wait, is Park a real person or a made up personality? How can he have family if the personality isn’t real?) but Jacobs doesn’t want to hear the lecture. Actually, James is here to thank him for bringing the monster back. Cue Abyss and the brawl is on with Kong being knocked to the floor. Next week: Monster’s Ball. Nice segment, but the idea of where Kong is going after the feud with Abyss scares me.

Video on Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary and their fight to be the queen of the Knockouts. Of course this is different than being Knockouts Champion but that goes without saying.

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie

Rosemary wastes no time with a spear and right hands to send Taya outside. That’s fine with Rosemary who spears her off the apron and hits a high crossbody back inside. A charge hits post though and Taya kicks her hard in the ribs to take over. Rosemary snaps back up with a German suplex before biting Taya’s leg.

That earns her a double stomp though and Taya rams the painted face into the corner. Taya makes fun of the ROSEMARY chants and hits a hard faceplant. The Road to Valhalla is broken up but a curb stomp knocks Rosemary silly. A moonsault misses though and Rosemary hits a Cactus Clothesline to send them both outside. They keep slugging it out and that’s a double countout at 7:33.

Rating: C-. I like that ending a lot as there’s no need to have the feud end already or to have one of them get a clean fall. This is the kind of thing that could be done far more often as there’s no definitive winner and the feud should continue. They also have chemistry together and a big, violent gimmick match could be a lot of fun.

Post match Taya gives her another Road to Valhalla on the stage.

An anxious Eli Drake is on the phone and Chris Adonis (never shown) isn’t going to be here tonight. Drake fires him from whatever official role he had. I’m actually surprised that they’re acknowledging Adonis walking out on the company and it’s very nice for a change of pace. All it took was a thirty second segment and Adonis is wrapped up for good.

Ethan Carter III talks about it being his destiny to get the right briefcase and become World Heavyweight Champion again.

Aries vs. El Patron is confirmed for the Redemption pay per view on April 22.

Next week: Allie defends the Knockouts Title against Sienna and Monster’s Ball.

Earlier today, Brian Cage was in the empty Impact Zone when Bobby Lashley came in. Lashley didn’t need the help but if Cage wants a fight, all he has to do is ask. Cage walks away.

LAX is watching Feast or Fired to find out who is up next.

Here’s Matt Sydal to announce his spiritual guide: Josh Matthews. Dutt loses his mind as Josh comes to the ring to talk about how he’s enlightened. He’s spent months trying to enlighten the fans and now wants us to put our hands together and center ourselves. Josh presents him with something like a cat mask, which Sydal calls his spirit animal. Matt says if he’s a champion, so is Josh, and he hands him the Grand Championship. Dutt: “That’s it I quit.” I like the idea of Josh as a heel but….this is a bit out there no?

Feast or Fired

Eli Drake, Tyrus, Petey Williams, KM, Moose, Caleb Konley, Trevor Lee, Ethan Carter III, Rohit Raju, Taiji Ishimori

Dutt is now on commentary by himself. There’s a briefcase above each corner with three title shots (World, X-Division and Tag Team) plus a pink slip. Four people will get cases and the rest get nothing. It’s a brawl to start (as it will likely be all match) until we’re down to Drake and Moose alone in the ring. That’s a bit too much in the ring though as they fight outside, only to be replaced by Raju and Ishimori.

Petey comes back in with some dropkicks as this is firmly in the revolving door period. The Cult of Lee comes in and beats the X-Division guys down for a bit but are dropkicked outside as well. Naturally Ishimori dives onto the floor instead of going up, leaving Petey to hit a Canadian Destroyer on Lee. Petey gets Case #2 and we take a break. Back with Dutt telling us no one got a case during the break (thank you) and Moose cleaning house.

Carter cuts him off with an elbow but Moose makes a save and gets Case #4. Josh rejoins commentary as Ishimori takes his shirt off. The Cult of Lee gets beaten down by Raju but here’s the angry Tyrus to start tossing the suplexes. Carter cuts him off with a low blow though and Case #3 is collected. He even knocks Tyrus silly with a case shot for good measure. Ishimori is alone on top but decides to crossbody Drake instead. A few Gravy Trains and a run up the ropes for a release German superplex allow Drake to pull down Case #1 at 17:50.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches where it’s really hard to give it a grade. The action was nothing to see and since most of the people involved aren’t hurt by their outcome, it makes for a weird match. It wasn’t one of the more interesting Feast of Fired matches, but then again these are hard to make interesting by definition.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s never a good sign when I can barely remember what happened on the show just after it ended. The wrestling wasn’t the point here but you can see a lot of where they’re going for Redemption. At least they started setting stuff up here as they don’t have a ton of pay per views in the first place. Use the time you have and set something up. Not a terrible show here at all, but the lack of people to fill out the card due to the main event hurt things.

Results

Sami Callihan b. Fallah Bahh – Death Valley Driver

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie went to a double countout

Petey Williams, Moose, Ethan Carter III and Eli Drake won Feast or Fired

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 15, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Sonjay Dutt, Josh Matthews

It’s a big night here with Austin Aries defending the World Title against Eli Drake in a rematch from the impromptu title change two weeks ago. While I can’t imagine another title change, I do like the idea of Drake, who was a good champion, getting a regular title match instead of the thirty second version. Let’s get to it.

Austin Aries is ready to show the world the real him tonight. Just in case they’ve forgotten him, he’s the greatest man that ever lived.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Callihan

Lashley is on him before the bell with a clothesline but gets kicked in the face. That just earns Sami another clothesline before Lashley beats up OVE. The distraction lets Sami get in another shot though and he sends Lashley right back to the floor. A tornado DDT on the floor drops Lashley again and OVE grabs his legs on the way back in. Sami dumps Lashley AGAIN as this is getting a little repetitive in the early going.

Outside again and Sami spits in his hand for a chop against the barricade and Lashley is tossed into the apron. One heck of a spear cuts Sami down though and we take a break. Back with Sami charging into a boot in the corner and getting taken down with a running crossbody. The spear is awkwardly caught in a guillotine but Lashley powers out again. Sami ties him up in the corner for a sitout powerbomb but the kicks to the face just make Lashley mad. A Dominator sets up the spear to give Lashley….two as OVE comes in for the DQ at 14:34.

Rating: D. I know Sami is kind of revered but I’m not sure I get it. He’s a better character than in-ring worker (assuming you go for the shouting promos) and that makes for a bit of a rough sit when the match is fourteen minutes long. It wasn’t the worst but Sami isn’t the best option for a regular match. All of the going outside for OVE interference didn’t help either.

Post match the beatdown is on but Eddie Edwards makes the save.

Eli Drake says he’s still World Champion because this is his first match with Aries. He can’t stop being World Champion and he’s not stopping tonight.

LAX has plans for later.

We look back at Braxton Sutter and Laurel Van Ness’ wedding from last year, which was broken up by Allie. As usual, this showcases a lot of people not even in the company anymore. It might have helped if Sutter had done ANYTHING after this.

Allie arrives, hears a crazy laugh, and finds another note from her secret admirer.

Aries has been around the world collecting titles and he’s not about to lose tonight. Drake better have been getting ready for the last two weeks because he’s not ready for what’s coming for him.

Moose isn’t happy with how last week’s four way went down and it’s Alberto El Patron jumping him to trigger a brawl.

Hania the Huntress vs. Rosemary

Rosemary spears her down to start and slugs away in the corner but Hania wins the battle of right hands. A spinwheel kick gives Hania two but the headscissor choke over the ropes has Hania in trouble. Back in and Hania kicks her down again as the announcers talk about the main event instead of paying attention to the match. Hania hits a high crossbody but Rosemary rolls through for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Who is Hania? I know she’s a Huntress and has attacked Rosemary, but who is she? Why did she attack Rosemary? I know she’s not the biggest character in the world but a vignette or promo from her explaining ANYTHING about her would be very appreciated. Of course we’re not going to get that because we need more of LAX talking about tequila, but it would help us know a little something about her.

Post match Hania loads up the reverse DDT on the steps but Rosemary bites the arm and seems to like the taste.

Johnny Impact isn’t sure about Matt Sydal’s stretching but it’s what the spiritual adviser recommended.

Tyrus is back to be Ethan Carter III’s mystery partner. I’m not sure that’s how a mystery works.

Allie goes to where the note said to meet the admirer and finds a box of chocolates and a card. The card says LVN and Laurel Van Ness pops out of an anvil case, earning a very quick shot to the head with the chocolates. Allie beats her up a bit and throws Laurel back into the case, which she kicks for good measure.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Johnny Impact/Matt Sydal

Matt won’t shake Ethan’s hand to start so it’s off to Johnny without any offense. Sydal comes back in and armbars Ethan down but Tyrus runs everyone over. A good looking flip sends Johnny sailing over Tyrus for a tag to Sydal, who is cut off by a headbutt to the chest. It’s back to Carter for a cravate before Tyrus is back in with a running splash in the corner.

Carter gives up the hot tag though and it’s Johnny coming back in for a bunch of kicks. Sydal loads up the shooting star but dives onto Tyrus instead, getting driven into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and the Flying Chuck is broken up and Carter grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: D+. So Tyrus is back. Uh….does anyone have anything interesting to say about this? He’s the same guy he was before he left and that’s not exactly thrilling news. Tyrus can fill in a spot on the roster and be a tag partner for Carter, but it’s not like this is the biggest deal in the world. The match was nothing great but they didn’t keep them out there too long.

Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong go to Joseph Park’s law offices (Which we established didn’t exist YEARS AGO but now they do again for the sake of the story.). Things are destroyed in the name of bringing Abyss back.

Brian Cage vs. John Cruz

Cage throws him around and a wicked powerbomb into a buckle bomb have Cruz in even more trouble. A Steiner Screwdriver ends Cruz at 1:17. Exactly what it should have been.

X-Division Title: Taiji Ishimori vs. El Hijo De Fantasma

Ishimori is defending and we get a long explanation about the champ’s theme song. Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs demanding the return of Abyss. Fantasma gets two off a big boot and grabs a leglock to send Ishimori crawling over to the ropes. We hit a double arm crank and take a break with the champ in trouble.

Back with Ishimori hitting a springboard seated senton as Josh says who is in which colors. Now why does no one else know to do that? Ishimori hits a big flip dive to the floor but gets caught with some knees to the head. Fantasma hits a suicide dive (which is nowhere near as good as he’s done it before) but Ishimori is right back up with a running hurricanrana down the ramp. Back in and Ishimori drops him on his head, setting up the 450 to retain at 13:02.

Rating: B-. The matches are entertaining and if that’s all you’re looking for out of them, you’re going to be fine. The division has long since given up on the idea of anything interesting in the form of characters or storylines so just sit back and enjoy a bunch of high flying. Anything else is wishful thinking and that’s been the case for a long time.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Eli Drake

Aries is defending and comes out with four titles, including the Defiant Wrestling World Title (and the IPW-UK and World Series Wrestling (Australia) Titles). The fact that Impact Wrestling and What Culture have the same champion and that their title is making it onto national TV is either an amazing success story or a sign of how far this company has fallen. The threat of the Last Chancery sends Drake bailing to the floor in short order and it’s time for a breather.

Aries does his bouncing escape from a headscissors and dropkicks the seated Drake. Back up and Drake takes over with a few right hands, followed by some shoulders in the corner as we take a break. Back with Aries hitting a running elbow drop but charging into an elbow to the face. A neckbreaker gives Drake two and it’s time for the comeback with Aries getting the better of a slugout. Aries gets two off a missile dropkick and smacks Drake around the ears.

Drake is right back up and runs the corner for something like a front facelock superplex for two. An AA gets two and Aries is right back to his feet, sending Drake to the floor. The suicide dive takes Chris Adonis down instead and Aries has to make sure he didn’t kill a fan. Back in and the Gravy Train is reversed into the Last Chancery but Aries has to deck Adonis. Not that it matters as another Gravy Train is reversed into the brainbuster to retain Aries’ title at 16:28.

Rating: B. This was your run of the mill big time Impact main event: completely serviceable but not exactly with any kind of drama. You know they’re not going back to Drake, at least not anytime soon. Aries getting a big and definitive win was a good thing and something his reign needed to get off on the right foot. I’m not sure where Drake goes now but he’s earned the right to stay pretty high up on the card.

Overall Rating: C+. Not bad at all but as usual, the lack of any real fire hurt things a lot. The wrestling was up and down all night and while the main event was good, it’s not a match that I’m going to remember in a day or so. That’s a major problem for this entire company: there’s very little that stands out and I don’t feel like I’m connected to any of these wrestlers. Certainly not a bad show, but it’s stuck in the same bubble it’s been in for a long time now.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Sami Callihan via DQ when OVE interfered

Rosemary b. Hania the Huntress – Reversed crossbody

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus b. Johnny Impact/Matt Sydal – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Brian Cage b. John Cruz – Steiner Screwdriver

Taiji Ishimori b. El Hijo De Fantasma – 450

Austin Aries b. Eli Drake – Last Chancery

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for a new fresh taping cycle but also a fresh regime in charge of things. I mean, to be fair it had been a few months since everything was shaken up. This is the start of the taping cycle to take us all the way to the next pay per view in April, meaning it’s likely time to shake up a lot of things. Let’s get to it.

Someone’s legs arrived earlier today. As usual, panning up is out of the question.

Opening sequence.

We look back at last week’s show, showing every result including Matt Sydal winning the Grand Championship, Laurel Van Ness cheating to retain the Knockouts Title, Lashley losing to Moose and destroying Dan Lambert in retaliation and Eli Drake retaining the World Title in a triple threat. Only the triple threat involves someone who hasn’t left the promotion since the matches were taped.

Opening sequence.

The four sided ring is back, thank goodness.

Grand Championship: Matt Sydal vs. Fallah Bahh

Sydal is defending and it’s just a regular match again. Before the match, Matt gives credit to his new unnamed spiritual adviser. Bahh shoves him around with ease to start and knocks Sydal away for daring to throw some kicks. Sydal tries a sunset flip but is smart enough to pull himself up before he can be crushed. A sliding dropkick puts Bahh down and a spinwheel kick does the same.

Sydal starts in on the leg and it’s a YES Kick into a standing moonsault for two. Bahh gets back up so Sydal hits some top rope knees to bring him down again. Back up and Bahh scores with some big fat chops and a Samoan drop despite not being Samoan. That rolling splash gives Bahh two but Sydal kicks him over the top to break up a Banzai drop. Back in and Bahh misses another drop, setting up the shooting star press to retain Sydal’s title at 7:34.

Rating: C-. I still don’t get the appeal of Bahh but he seems to be gaining one of those cult followings. That being said, this wasn’t at all about Bahh as Sydal gets a first title defense under his (newly won) belt and can wait around until he gets a big time challenger. The spiritual adviser screams heel turn, which wouldn’t exactly surprise me given how often TNA likes to go in that direction.

We look back at Lashley turning on American Top Team, including spearing both KM and Dan Lambert. About time but that’s kind of an anti-climactic ending to the story.

Trevor Lee assures Caleb Konley that he’s five steps ahead of everyone so the team will be fine. I just want to know what was up with the semi-Hawaiian shirts.

KM vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley slugs away to start and let’s plug that list of people you can’t see in TNA anymore but CAN see if you buy their Network! KM talks some trash but gets taken down twice in a row. An early spear attempt sees Lashley go shoulder first into the post and we take a break. Back with KM grabbing a chinlock and demanding the referee ask for a submission a few times.

Lashley misses another charge and falls to the floor, allowing KM to actually hit a running flip dive. KM misses a slingshot splash back inside though and gets taken down by a crossbody of all things. Lashley’s powerslam gets two but he walks into a pumphandle slam for the same. Not that it matters as Lashley spears him down for the pin at 11:58.

Rating: C. KM was better than usual here but that’s not exactly covering a lot of ground. The guy isn’t interesting and putting him in American Top Team for a few weeks didn’t do him any good. At this point he’s just a warm body who can’t do anything special and that’s not exactly the kind of thing that this company needs at the moment.

We recap Kongo Kong destroying Chandler Park two weeks back.

Joseph Park is on the phone with Grandma Jenny when Jimmy Jacobs comes up to say he wants Abyss back to face Kong. As usual, Kong is worthless.

Lashley is going to focus on wrestling and MMA but blows off Eddie Edwards.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Kiera Hogan

Non-title. Laurel works on the arm to start and pulls her down by the hair. A right hand gets two, followed by a running forearm in the corner for the same. Hogan actually gets in some right hands and a low superkick for two, only to eat a curb stomp. The Unprettier is loaded up but here’s Allie for a distraction, allowing Hogan to grab a rollup for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. Pure angle advancement here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan looked fine here and it’s always good to get some fresh talent into the promotion. Allie getting another shot makes sense after she was cheated out of the title match last week, and it’s not like there are a ton of options at the moment.

The mystery man is now in the building.

Alberto El Patron thinks he should be in the main event as champion but his partner tonight, Ethan Carter III, says follow his lead.

Here is LAX for their first comments since Barbed Wire Massacre. Konnan says they’re still the revolution and you can’t stop that. As for Sami Callihan (Konnan: “The guy was midway through a sex change operation when the doctor said just leave him like that”), they’re always ready for a fight so here’s OVE. Egads FIND A NEW TEAM ALREADY!

Callihan hits the mic against his own head and says they hate everything. They do respect LAX though and things need to end before one of them winds up dead. Sami promises to get the titles back at some point but for now, they have more important things to worry about. Konnan follows them up the aisle and says there are no bigger fish to fry because “we are the whole d*** tuna”. As I ponder the meanings of that line, Konley and Lee jump LAX and beat them down. They’re not exactly a great team but they’re different at least.

Moose and Johnny Impact (who Moose almost calls by all of his old names) are ready to win the tag match.

This week’s old clip: Drew Galloway debuts and beats up Ethan Carter III. Again: STOP SHOWING THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK HERE ANYMORE BEATING UP YOUR (then) CURRENT TALENT!

Eli Drake thinks Chris Adonis brought the mystery man but Adonis says no. Tonight is all about the life of Eli though.

Cage is coming.

Ethan Carter III/Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact/Moose

Johnny and Ethan start things off with Impact spinning out of a wristlock and into one of his own. Moose does his pose and comes in for a dropkick to keep Carter in trouble. The double teaming begins, setting up Impact’s breakdancing legdrop for two. Alberto gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Carter to get in a knee to the ribs so the villains can take over.

Carter drops an elbow and grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before throwing Moose outside. That means a few rams into the barricade, followed by a double suplex for two back inside. The solo suplex is reversed though and it’s a lukewarm tag to Impact. It’s way too early for Starship Pain so Impact settles for the Flying Chuck. Unfortunately that only knocks Carter into his own corner, allowing Alberto to come right back in.

We take a break and come back with Alberto sending Impact into the corner over and over to keep him in trouble. Carter pulls Moose off the apron before coming in for the TK3 and a near fall of his own. A top rope ax handle gives Alberto two but Johnny reverses a belly to back superplex into a crossbody to put both guys down.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Moose, who comes in with a series of running corner dropkicks for two. Alberto ducks the Game Changer and scores with the Backstabber for two of his own. Johnny gets caught in the Tree of Woe and the top rope double stomp connects. Not that it matters as Moose is right there with a hard clothesline to put Alberto away at 18:53.

Rating: C. Totally standard main event style tag here but it’s nice to see Moose getting a big pin like this. The main event scene needs some fresh names after that three way feud ate up the last several months and Moose would be a good addition. I’m rather tired of Alberto vs. Johnny and it would be a good idea to keep them apart for a long time.

Here are Drake and Adonis for the big closing segment. Adonis has a few facts for Drake, starting with Drake being the greatest champion ever. We see a quick highlight reel, followed by the second fact: Drake is greatest dresser to ever live. Finally, we have fact #3: Drake is the greatest friend that ever lived.

For some reason the clip is from Thanksgiving where Adonis had to wear the turkey suit and he’s not happy. Drake says the pie from Thanksgiving was delicious and Adonis rocked the turkey suit. The champ adds up the facts that Adonis laid out and there’s only one conclusion: Drake is the greatest man that ever lived. I think you know where this is going.

Cue the returning AUSTIN ARIES (with banana) to interrupt, earning a loud WELCOME BACK chant. Aries says he missed the fans too but he heard Drake refer to himself as the greatest man that ever lived. After listing off his own resume around here, Aries throws the challenge out for anywhere anytime. Drake takes off his jacket and says the best thing that Aries has ever done is sit behind a desk and talk about the matches. There’s no match right now but Adonis cheap shots Aries with the belt. That’s enough to change Drake’s mind and the title is on the line RIGHT NOW.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Eli Drake

Drake is defending and covers for a very quick two. After an argument with the referee, Drake misses a charge into the post, setting up Aries’ corner dropkick. The brainbuster gives us a new champion at 50 seconds.

As expected, the announcers soundly undersell the title change to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine enough but egads I didn’t like that ending. Drake has held the title for about five months and he just loses it in no time in an impromptu match because Aries is freshly available. This company has a really bad habit of not building stories up over time and going for the big shock instead of setting something up in the name or proper storytelling. At least Aries has his own history here and it’s not some total newcomer winning the title.

Overall the show was watchable enough but I can’t really go beyond that. For a show that was supposed to be the latest restart, only the title change felt like something new. A lot of the feuds and stories seemed to be taking their next step and none of the felt like a big deal. It’s not a bad show by any means but, last five minutes aside, this really wasn’t eventful.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Fallah Bahh – Shooting star press

Bobby Lashley b. KM – Spear

Kiera Hogan b. Laurel Van Ness – Rollup

Johnny Impact/Moose b. Alberto El Patron/Ethan Carter III – Clothesline to El Patron

Austin Aries b. Eli Drake – Brainbuster

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 25, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

So apparently this is one of their big shows, which was only first mentioned last week. Most of the titles are on the line tonight, including a triple threat match inside a cage with Eli Drake defending against Johnny Impact and Alberto El Patron. It’s hard to say what else they might throw out here so let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard look at the bigger names talking about what their matches mean. It might help if this show had some more build, or if I could tell you what this show had to offer. What we get here is good though as it’s a stylish way to put out a simple concept.

Opening sequence.

Grand Championship: Matt Sydal vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending and there are no judges, rounds or scoring, but rather a standard match. Sydal dropkicks him at the bell and the champ is knocked outside early on. Back in and a pair of basement dropkicks give Sydal two but Carter gets a breather off a running clothesline. A cravate doesn’t work very well for the champ so he whips Sydal into the corner a few times.

Carter can’t hit a Stinger Splash though and the double knees from the top give Matt two. Back up and Sydal’s super hurricanrana misses with Matt’s face slamming straight into the turnbuckle. We take a break to make sure Sydal’s head isn’t broken and come back with Carter hitting a cutter for two. A TK3 over the top rope connects but Sydal is right back up with a spinwheel kick.

They head to the apron with Carter grabbing a DDT, only to have Sydal pop right back up again. That’s getting a bit annoying as he’s barely staying down off these big shots to the head. Sydal knees him in the face but can’t hit the shooting star press. For some reason Carter takes him to the top for a super TK3, only to get shoved down for the shooting star to give Sydal the title at 15:59.

Rating: C. Sydal’s selling issues aside, this was the right call. Sydal has been called a choker who can never win the big match so he got things down to a regular one on one match and won the title here. I’m really hoping the title shifts towards a regular title full time as there’s just no need for the round system. This made for a fine match with a good story and that’s all you could want out of this. It’s a TV Title and that’s all it should be.

Stills on the Barbed Wire Massacre mess from last week.

We look at the still awesome XXX vs. AMW cage match from Turning Point 2004. That cage walk is still pretty easily the greatest spot in the company’s history and it’s never been approached since. To be fair though, how can you follow that?

We recap the Knockouts Title match. Laurel Van Ness won the title a few weeks back but Gail Kim (take a shot) wanted Allie to win. Allie started talking about wanting the shot so here we go, with Allie being a lot more serious.

Knockouts Title: Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Allie is challenging and Laurel leaves the belt on the steps, which is quite the Chekov’s Gun. They lock up and fight to the floor without breaking the lock until Allie takes her back inside for some clotheslines. That’s enough inside as they go to the floor again with Allie being sent into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Laurel in control inside, sending Allie into three straight buckles. A running flip neckbreaker gets two and the counts are getting on the champ’s nerves. Laurel’s chinlock doesn’t do much so it’s a clothesline instead, allowing Josh to plug his podcast. Allie avoids a charge and suplexes Van Ness into the corner for two. A Codebreaker gets the same and a superkick is even closer with Laurel having to put her foot on the ropes. The ref is bumped and a quick belt shot lets Laurel retain the title at 14:03.

Rating: D+. Well that ending was terrible. I know they set it up at the beginning but it felt like the cheapest ending they could come up with as a way to keep things going. Why do I have a feeling that it means we’ll be seeing Gail give Allie another pep talk to really get her ready? It might make Gail look more important and you know that’s what this promotion is all about.

We recap American Top Team vs. Moose, in case you haven’t gotten this story yet. The MMA guys are here to prove that wrestling is fake and they’ve already gotten rid of James Storm. Moose is ready to try his luck again.

Moose vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley has Dan Lambert and KM in his corner. After some early stalling, Lashley sends him into the corner and stomps away as the announcers talk about various other places you can watch Impact. So yeah, go there and watch that now because this show doesn’t matter. Moose’s comeback doesn’t get him anywhere and it’s a snap suplex for two. Some shoulders in the corner don’t get Lashley anywhere as Moose scores with a spinning middle rope crossbody. KM offers a distraction though and Lashley clotheslines him down as we take a break.

Back with Lashley stomping on the arm and seemingly unsure which hold to try. Instead he throws Moose outside to ram him into various things, only to start in on the other arm. Moose dropkicks him off the top and out to the floor but Lashley calmly whips him into the steps as the dominance continues. KM pulls out a completely unnecessary table and Lashley isn’t happy, allowing Moose to crush him in the corner.

The middle rope chokebomb gets two but Lashley is right back with a running hurricanrana. Well of course he is. Seriously that’s not normal. The spear gets two with Moose throwing a boot on the ropes and Lashley is stunned. KM gets on the apron for no logical reason (how typical of him), allowing Moose to ram them together and hit the discus lariat for two. The Game Changer gives Moose the pin at 16:43, making that previous kickout rather dumb.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Moose get the pin, even if this should have been months ago at Bound For Glory. I’m sure this story will keep going because this company has never understood how or when to stop an angle but hopefully we move past this already. It’s not like it has much of a shelf life and we’ve proven that many times over now.

Post match Moose FINALLY lays Lambert out and Lashley does the same to KM. Lashley spears Lambert through a table and they both beat up the MMA guy who is all bandaged up. Did we really just spend all those months setting up a Lashley face turn? That was their big goal?

The announcers recap the show so far.

X-Division Title: Taiji Ishimori vs. Andrew Everett

This is from Pro Wrestling Noah with Everett challenging. Joined in progress with Ishimori hitting some running knees to the chest in the corner. Everett comes back with an enziguri and a Lionsault for two but a shooting star gets two. Back up and one heck of a clothesline takes Everett down for two more and a suplex into a gutbuster gets the same. The 450 retains the title at 4:38 shown.

Rating: C-. The time was a problem here as there’s only so much you can do with so little time. Then again, it’s hard to say how good the match was with all the time it was given. Ishimori is a good champion, but he needs more than just under five minutes shown to have much of an impact. Well that and a more interesting opponent.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact

Drake is defending inside a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. If Drake retains, neither ever gets a title shot at Drake again. Johnny gets stomped down in the corner to start as we have our first soon to be broken alliance. A double ram into the cage drops Johnny and the villains are already slugging it out. Neither can get over the top so Impact is back up for the save.

Drake gets catapulted into the cage and the flip neckbreaker gives Johnny two. Alberto, wrestling in a shirt for some reason, pulls Johnny off the cage and sends Drake into the steel. Impact is tied up in the Tree of Woe with Alberto missing the double stomp off the cage (likely to avoid a bad case of death), only to have Drake drop Johnny with that backwards Big Ending of his. Everyone is down and we take a break after a pretty good start.

Back with Drake low blowing both of them and sending them into the cage. Johnny of course walks the cage wall and sends Drake into the cage for the coolest spot of the match, which gets no reaction. Alberto is back up with a kick to Johnny’s ribs before whipping Drake into the cage over and over. A DDT gets two on the champ and Alberto knocks Johnny into the Tree of Woe.

This time the stomp works but Johnny is still able to break up the armbreaker on Drake. Everyone goes up in the same corner but Johnny knocks them down and hits a double high crossbody…..to no reaction. I even rewound it in hopes that I had just missed it but the sound just isn’t there and that’s very sad. That’s a big time move and the fans just did not care. Like at all.

The Gravy Train gets two on Johnny so Drake climbs with Impact right behind him. Johnny drops down to catch Alberto but an enziguri cuts him off. Alberto tries to go out the door but Chris Adonis slams it on his head. Johnny JUMPS up and sprints over the top of the cage, somehow beating Drake down, only to have Adonis catch him in the air. The delay allows Drake to drop down and retain at 18:05.

Rating: B-. And they’re DONE. I’m tired of this three way feud and it’s long past time to have some fresh talent challenging for the title. Drake looks good and gets his big win (even one in front of the actual Impact fans) but this story wasn’t interesting going into Bound For Glory and waiting several months didn’t make things even better. The blowoff match was solid enough but the story didn’t do anything for me.

Overall Rating: C+. Well that certainly was a big time show. I’m not sure what else to say about it but it is certainly a big time show. The matches had been built up for a while now but they haven’t been done all that well. The Grand Championship match was the best told story and felt like closure, but everything else felt like it was just there or existed to set up something else in the future. It’s fine enough, but I really need more than a week to get excited for a big show.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Ethan Carter III – Shooting star press

Laurel Van Ness b. Allie – Title to the face

Moose b. Lashley – Game Changer

Taiji Isimori b. Andrew Everett – 450 splash

Eli Drake b. Alberto El Patron and Johnny Impact – Drake escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 18, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Dezmond Xavier vs. Taiji Ishimori

OVE promises to take over everything tonight.

Video on American Top Team taking out James Storm and Moose trying for revenge. This show is starting to feel like a pay per view pre-show instead of a regular episode.

Flashback of the week: Aron Rex wins the first Grand Championship.

Video on Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Sydal for the Grand Championship.

Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park

Kong gives Chandler a top rope splash and Joseph throws up the injury X. This is what the world was waiting for: more Kongo Kong.

Johnny Impact wants to take the World Title back to Los Angeles. Drake is from LA too, so does he want Eli to retain?

Alberto El Patron is in Detroit for the sole purpose of taking the Impact Wrestling World Title.

Eli Drake is ready to defend the title anywhere, including Detroit.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact

Rosemary vs. KC Spinelli

Post match Rosemary says she wants to face Laurel but has to wait for our favorite bunny Allie to get her chance. Rosemary wants the next shot but gets jumped by Hania, who has wrestled for Ring of Honor before. Hania lays her out with a reverse DDT on the steps.

Genesis preview.

LAX vs. OVE

The wire is still wrapped around Jake but Santana cuts him free so he can be Death Valley Driven through a barbed wire board for two. Dave spears Santana through a table to the floor, leaving Homicide to be tombstoned onto a chair wrapped in barbed wire for two. Sami loads up two tables in the ring but stops to piledrive Dave instead. A ladder is brought in but Konnan hits Callihan with a barbed wire bat. Ortiz stabs Dave with some wooden spikes and superplexes him through the two tables for the pin at 16:57.

Results

Taiji Ishimori b. Dezmond Xavier – 450 splash

Kongo Kong b. Chandler Park – Sitout Tombstone

Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Eli Drake went to a no contest

Rosemary b. KC Spinelli – Red Wedding

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 11, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

After last week’s stacked card containing four title matches and a loser leaves town match, it should be interesting to see what the company has for a follow up. There’s a good chance that they won’t have nearly as much to offer tonight and you really can’t blame them on that front. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s major events, including the two title changes and James Storm’s career ending. Thankfully they ignore that stupid World Title clip fest.

Opening sequence.

Here are Bobby Lashley and Dan Lambert to get things going. Impact has surprised Lambert as he never thought it would be this resilient. Lambert is here for two reasons. First is to have a moment of silence for James Storm’s career. Since he’s unemployed, maybe the fans can put together a collection and get him some beer money (good line, as Lambert is still one of the best promos in this company).

Lambert is also here to bring out the newest member of American Top Team. This man could do what Lashley couldn’t do when he put Storm down. Lashley isn’t happy and it’s even worse when the new member is revealed to be KM. We get the shirt presentation before KM says he’s proven himself by taking out everyone in front of him, capped off by helping Lambert to get rid of Storm. KM mentions getting rid of Moose, who comes out way faster than he should. The fight doesn’t last long as Moose gets beaten down until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Lashley has to pull Lambert from the ring.

Like I said, Lambert is a great promo but this story has long passed its expiration date. It’s been going for several months now and there’s no real reason to keep it going at this point. They’ve covered the MMA vs. wrestlers thing (with the MMA guys dominating) and now they’re just regular heels. That’s all well and good and Lambert shifting towards being a regular manager is better, but this is living on borrowed time to put it mildly.

Post break, the obvious tag match is made.

The announcers recap last week’s show again.

Here’s Grand Champion Ethan Carter III to issue an open challenge for the title. First though, Carter needs to mock Matt Sydal for choking over and over again every time he has a chance to win the big one. Sydal chokes so much he might as well play forward for the Ottawa Senators. That gets the expected heat from the crowd and now the open challenge is on.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Petey Williams

Carter is defending of course….and there are no judges or any mention of the round system. Could it be true? Did my New Year’s wish come true? Well at least the one regarding the Grand Championship? The fans are way into Petey and a headscissors makes those cheers even louder. He ties Carter in the Tree of Woe as we hear, for the second time in the match, about what a great comeback story Williams was in 2017.

Carter sends him into the corner and chokes on the rope, followed by a knee to the ribs. A waistlock keeps Petey down for a bit but he reverses into a side roll for two. The Canadian Destroyer is countered into a TK3 for two and Petey is sent outside. As Petey holds his knee, Sydal runs in for the DQ at 4:49. There was no mention made of the round system and judges being dropped.

Rating: D. This was too short to mean much but I’m more interested in this seemingly turning back into the TV Title. I’m guessing Sydal’s promo last week where he suggested a regular match for the title is all we’re getting and I’m really fine with that. The round system was a bad idea from the first day and the thing should have just been a regular midcard title. This is the right move and gets rid of a problem that doesn’t need to exist.

Allie isn’t happy with Laurel Van Ness attacking her last week. She’s not the weak little Allie anymore and she’s ready to play if Laurel wants to. Much more serious here, but still with a hint of the old Allie in there, as there should be.

Alberto El Patron isn’t happy.

Sydal says Carter can’t call him out and not expect to pay the consequences. He wants a title shot with a sixty minute time limit and no rounds (“That’s out”) and no judges (“They’re gone). If Carter can beat him there, then he’ll get a handshake and a hug. The challenge makes sense, and PLEASE let that be a permanent change.

We see James Storm winning the World Title from Kurt Angle in less than two minutes on October 20, 2011.

KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness

Non-title. Laurel takes her straight into the corner and knees her in the ribs before yelling at Spinelli for touching her fur coat. Spinelli slaps her right back but gets kicked in the face for her disrespect. A bridging vertical suplex (that’s a new one for some reason) gets two on Laurel and they kick each other in the face at the same time. Laurel is up first and a curb stomp into the Unprettier is good for the pin on Spinelli at 5:22.

Rating: D+. This was fine as a way to get Laurel a win under her belt and that’s always a good idea. Of course it would have been a good idea to have Spinelli work a match on Impact before they showed her in the Canadian promotion but that’s another problem for later. If nothing else, Laurel’s gimmick is really starting to work for her. She looks outstanding in her gear but the shots of her face are nothing short of unnerving.

Post match Allie comes in and beats on Laurel before holding up the title.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for a championship address. Adonis channels a little Rick Rude with a “what we’d like to have right now” to introduce for the champ. Drake calls anyone who lives in this horrible weather year round a dummy before holding up the title. He shifts his attention to Alberto, who came back all upset but then thought he could swim with the big fish.

Drake is standing here with the title and Alberto should have stayed at the bar. He’ll defend the title again next week in Detroit but here’s Alberto to interrupt. Alberto, now a full on face again, says he’d love to beat Drake around the ring next week. He wants to fight now but here’s Johnny Impact to interrupt. Johnny has heard about both of them being in Detroit so he’ll have to join the party. The brawl is on with Johnny getting the better of it. Drake has already beaten both of these guys and I’m really not sure why we need to see these three fight any more, save for the company has nothing else to do at this point.

We look at Raven having his head shaved back in 2003.

Recap of the opening segment.

American Top Team (now just Lambert, Lashley and KM) are in the back and Lambert gives KM all of the credit for getting rid of Storm. Lashley isn’t happy.

Chandler and Joseph Park are glad about Chandler’s win last week. Jimmy Jacobs comes up to ask what happened to Abyss. Jacobs: “You used to be the guy that put people into ambulance and now you’re the guy chasing ambulances.” Chandler, in a nasal voice, stands up to Jacobs because Joseph is family. Jacobs steps aside so Kongo Kong, who Jimmy says is family to him can come in. Chandler: “So scary!” I like the Parks but I could go without seeing Jacobs or Kong ever again, especially the latter.

OVE wrecks LAX’s clubhouse. Good grief ENOUGH BETWEEN THESE TEAMS ALREADY! Post break LAX finds the wrecked clubhouse and says it’s time to go back to their roots. Barbed wire is mentioned.

Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane vs. Dezmond Xavier/Garza Jr./Sonjay Dutt

Garza headbutts Zane around to start and brings in Xavier to trip him up a few times. A dropkick to the back of the head sends Zane outside as everything breaks down. Back from a break with Zane charging into Dutt’s boot in the corner as Lee poses in the corner. Zane actually gets in a few shots to the back and hands it off to Konley for a double arm crank. Lee kicks at the chest as we hear about Ishimori defending the title in Japan.

Even Zane gets to come in for a chinlock until Dutt dropkicks him down. The hot tag brings in Garza to clean house but hang on because IT’S TIME FOR GARZA TO TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! It’s so distracting that Konley and Lee don’t notice Zane’s missile dropkick which hits them by mistake. Dezmond comes in and hits the Final Flash for the pin on Zane at 10:27.

Rating: C-. This was your run of the mill X-Division match and that’s the big problem: even when you get someone like Xavier or Ishimori, they’re stuck with these generic heels who don’t do anything to set themselves apart. Why should I be interested in seeing people defeat weak talents and not get to show off what they can do? It’s a big reason why the division is boring and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Post match Ishimori comes out and holds up the title in front of Xavier. They shake hands before their title match next week.

Also next week: Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park and clips of the triple threat match from Detroit. You know, a match we can’t have HERE. Also, a barbed wire match with OVE vs. LAX.

Moose/Eddie Edwards vs. KM/Bobby Lashley

It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to KM vs. Moose. Some chops in the corner have KM in trouble but he avoids Edwards’ elbow, allowing the beatdown to begin. Back from an early break with Lashley slamming Eddie for two but missing a charge to fall outside. Moose comes in for a double elbow to KM, followed by Eddie jumping on Moose’s back for a double backsplash. Edwards gets posted though and the heels take over again.

Lashley’s neckbreaker doesn’t even get one as Moose is in there IMMEDIATELY for the save. Eddie reverses a suplex to put KM down but Lashley breaks up the tag attempt. Lashley charges into a knee though and a middle rope dropkick puts him down. A crawl through the legs is enough to bring in KM and Moose’s middle rope chokebomb gets two. KM gets low bridged to the floor and Eddie follows him out with the suicide dive. Lambert gets in a cheap shot though and KM’s powerbomb into a Backstabber is enough to pin Eddie at 14:46.

Rating: D+. This was a way to establish KM as a member of the team but it should also help further the wedge between Lambert and Lashley, likely leading to Lashley turning face. I’m not sure why this is considered a big deal when people turn around here so frequently (including Lashley) but that’s certainly better for a conclusion to the story than anything else I’ve seen so far.

A preview of OVE vs. LAX wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. Not a bad show this week as they were advancing a lot of stuff while getting ready for some of the bigger matches down the line. You need that kind of show, especially coming off of a bigger episode like last week. That being said, I have no idea why we can’t have a World Title match in the arena the show is airing from. It doesn’t feel right and comes off like it’s less important than everything else. Fix that up and the title seems more important. Other than that, they’ve got some good stuff going here and it’s not a huge falloff coming out of last week. Not a good show, but it did its job well enough.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Petey Williams via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered

Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli – Unprettier

Dezmond Xavier/Sonjay Dutt/Garza Jr. b. Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane – Final Flash to Zane

KM/Lashley b. Moose/Eddie Edwards – Powerbomb into a Backstabber to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 4, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re back to the regular shows after two weeks of Best of 2017 episodes drew higher audiences than the standard ones. This is a big week as well with multiple title matches, including Eli Drake defending the World Title against Alberto El Patron in a match which might be taped from a WrestlePro event. Let’s get to it.

Dan Lambert tells the American Top Team guys that he has this tonight.

We preview tonight’s big tag match and four title matches. This is a stacked show but it really, really needs to draw.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Taiji Ishimori vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Caleb Konley in his corner. They fight over arm control to start because that’s the kind of exciting stuff this division is built on. Giving this match the level of attention it has earned, the announcers talk about every other big match taking place tonight. Ishimori dropkicks him out to the floor and moonsaults into a pose. Konley trips him up though and the champ takes over with a running kick on the apron.

Back with Ishimori scoring off a handspring kick to the face but missing the 450. Like a finisher is going to hit on the first attempt. Lee backslides him down but picks Ishimori up into a sitout powerbomb for two instead. Destino (Tetsuya Naito’s finisher) gives Ishimori two and the 450 is enough to get the title off of Lee at 13:16.

Rating: C+. There’s no secret that Ishimori is the best in the division but that’s not exactly saying much. The division barely means anything around here anymore and Ishimori isn’t going to be able to do anything on his own. It also doesn’t help that there’s not much setting the division apart. Ishimori has a good looking 450 but most of the division isn’t exactly known for flying around the ring. Give us something that makes them stand out aside from the label of being in the X-Division.

Alberto and Eli are ready to fight at WrestlePro. I know they need more content but this always feels like it’s cheap.

Dezmond Xavier wants a shot at Ishimori’s title. Makes sense after the Super X Cup and it’s better than nothing else.

LAX isn’t happy.

James Storm says tonight is a little different because he’s standing up for Impact Wrestling. I’m a big Storm fan but his “I’ve been here since the beginning” promo is getting old.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Fallah Bahh vs. Matt Sydal

Carter is defending and this is under the same round and scoring system as a standard one on one match. Yes they’re finding new ways to make this title stupid. Everyone brawls to start until Bahh clotheslines both of them down and slams Matt onto Eli. Bahh rolls onto both of them to break up a cover and chops the heck out of Carter in the corner. Carter gets run over again but he rolls away before a Banzai Drop. The first round ends and of course goes to Bahh.

Round two starts after a break with Bahh getting double teamed and knocked out to the floor. Sydal kicks Carter down for two but Eli gorilla presses him onto Bahh. Josh thinks Carter should try to win the match. Keep it up Josh and you’ll get up to Byron Saxton territory in no time. Carter throws Drake into the corner to end the round.

As you might expect, Carter wins the second round but Bahh runs them both over to start round three. Bahh sits on Carter’s chest for two with Sydal having to make a save. The TK3 plants Sydal and Carter breaks up another Bonzai Drop attempt. Bahh is back up and slows down the shooting star press, which Sydal hits just as time expires at 9:00. Carter wins round three and retains the title.

Rating: B-. As usual, the more fun I have with this match, the less interest I have in the whole concept. You could do the exact same thing with a ten minute time limit, which at least makes more sense than a nine minute time limit. I know I harp on these same issues over and over but sweet goodness they just do not learn with this thing. I’m not sure what they see in the whole concept but I don’t think anyone would be complaining if it was just dropped already.

Video on Johnny Impact. He really needs a fresh feud after all this stuff with Alberto, who hasn’t done much for Johnny’s status around here.

KM arrived and jumped Moose. Somehow, this has been quite the upgrade for him as of late.

Allie can’t believe she’s here but Gail Kim (take a freaking shot) told her she’d be here. Crazy Laurel Van Ness attacks her from behind.

Dan Lambert vs. James Storm

Loser leaves town and no holds barred. Lambert talks a lot of trash and here are the American Top Team guys for the beatdown. Lashley’s spinebuster gets two but Storm manages to Last Call everyone down. He hadn’t taken much damage but sweet goodness that’s quite the comeback. KM comes in with a beer bottle to Storm’s head for two. Lashley holds Lambert back, allowing a double beer bottle shot to put Storm away at 3:36.

Rating: F. And that’s it for Storm, who has been one of the longest standing stars of Impact for years now. It does kind of seem appropriate that he goes out putting someone else over, which is always the case for Storm. I could go for him putting over WRESTLERS on his way out but this American Top Team thing is out of hand at this point. It really would have been nice for Storm to get in any kind of important offense but this is how Impact is going to let someone go, because that’s what matters to them.

Post break, Storm gets an ovation from the locker room. Storm calls his family to say he’s coming home and you can barely hear him over the LAX chants while the other match is being taped at the same time. So he gets squashed and beaten down by non-wrestlers and then you can’t even hear his goodbye speech. As mentioned: such is life in Impact.

Video on the debut of Joseph Park, who started off looking for his brother Abyss. I was actually surprised that he was Abyss as I never would have recognized him. The fact that he looks like Penn Jillette made things more complicated.

We see the last few minutes of Joseph Park vs. Bully Ray from Slammiversary 2012.

Chandler Park vs. Jon Bolen

Park is indy mainstay Ethan Page. Bolen drops Park to start and runs him over with a shoulder for two. Josh plugs the upcoming Orlando tapings which will feature a miniature golf tournament. Well it’s better than a match from 2012. Joseph manages to get some cheers going and Bolen misses a charge in the corner. Chandler celebrates a bit too long though and gets the ropes kicked between his legs. For some reason Jon decides to insult Joseph’s Grandma Jenny and gets knocked into a rollup for the pin at 2:39. Park has a good look but this slip on a banana peel winning isn’t going to work for very long.

So to recap: they aired a video package which showed that they’re basically repeating the same idea with one of the participants being the same just five years later. Am I missing something here?

Sydal wants Carter one on one and says tonight’s defeat felt like a victory. He has a radical idea: a REGULAR MATCH for the title. I could certainly go for that idea, which is why I think they’ll manage to botch the thing.

Video on Alberto vs. Eli. Alberto is still mad about being abandoned by the company and makes threats in Spanish. Drake is a paper champion of course but says that the only paper involved with his title is all the paper money he makes. As usual, Eli is the best promo in this company.

From Rahway, New Jersey this past Saturday at a WrestlePro event.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron

Eli is defending and it’s a brawl before the bell. Jeremy tries to explain the low attendance on the horrible snowstorm over the weekend, even though this was taped nearly a month ago. Alberto gets an early two off a dropkick to the back and sends him into the barricade a few times. Drake is rammed into the buckles over and over but we’re clipped (on a show with a MATCH FROM NEARLY SIX YEARS AGO) to Drake choking on the ramp.

They take turns sending each other into the barricade with Drake getting the better of it for two inside. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Alberto gets the cross armbreaker over the ropes. Clipped again to the Gravy Train giving Drake two. Drake misses a belt shot and gets faceplanted onto the title for two more. The ref gets bumped though and a belt shot retains the title at 6:19.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness no. In addition to the lack of the time (six minutes for a World Title match is almost inexcusable in the first place), the clipping of the match (maybe they could only air so much of it) and the REALLY lame ending, there’s the fact that it wasn’t even held under their own brand. If the match being under the WrestlePro banner necessitated the clipping, maybe don’t have the thing under another banner and tape the match at your own tapings. Why is this stuff so freaking complicated for just this company? I’ve seen indy promotions that run once every month that are put together WAY better than this.

Here’s a clip from a Team Canada match in case you had gotten enough of this modern stuff.

Drake brags about his win and says the belt shot was a receipt for the DDT onto the title belt a few weeks back.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. OVE

OVE is defending and this is titles vs. careers. The champs jump LAX during the entrances and the weapons beatdown is on. If this is anything goes, there was no announcement saying such in the arena. The lights finally come up and we get an opening bell with Santana getting superkicked down for two.

We settle down to Dave choking Santana in the corner before it’s off to Jake to choke on the ropes. Santana fights back up but has no partner, meaning Jake can kick him back down for two. The stomping and choking based offense continues with Santana’s right hands having little effect as we take a break. Back with Santana still on his own but managing a cutter on Dave. Ortiz finally manages to get back to the ring, only to be knocked down to the floor again.

Santana has to slap his way to freedom as Ortiz is up on the apron. A DDT finally gets Santana over to the corner for the hot tag so Ortiz can Death Valley Drive Jake into Dave in the corner. Ortiz heads up top for a superplex but Dave reverses it into the Street Sweeper (stealing the finisher) for two more. Santana breaks up the All Seeing Eye and looks for something off the top onto Dave, only to dive into a cutter from Jake in a sweet looking visual. Jake and Ortiz are left to slug it out with Ortiz getting the better of it, setting up the Street Sweeper for the pin and the titles at 14:42.

Rating: B. The story was solid here as you have LAX winning when all the interference goes away despite OVE getting an early advantage. They did this the way they needed to but hokey smoke it’s time for some fresh challengers. I know there aren’t a lot of teams to go around this company but these four can’t feud together much longer, just for the sake of people getting burned out on the match.

Overall Rating: C+. This one depends on how you look at it. The good wrestling outweighed the bad wrestling but egads why can’t this company get the most basic stuff down? I know I mentioned it multiple times but they aired part of a match from 2012 and clipped the World Title match (which aired in another promotion). This is their big return show with FOUR title matches on one show and a gimmick match and it felt like they stumbled to the ground and then crawled over the finish line.

This company doesn’t seem to understand the basics and those major issues are making it very difficult to make any real progress. They built up Alberto vs. Drake and for whatever reason it’s taking place in a small arena in front of a lot of empty bleachers and we don’t even get to see the whole thing. That makes this company seem low level and makes the casual viewers go to another promotion. You need to knock something out of the park once in awhile but I don’t remember the last time they even hit a stand up triple. This was a watchable show but it should have been so much more, which is the case way too often.

Results

Taiji Ishimori b. Trevor Lee – 450 splash

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Sydal and Fallah Bahh via judges’ decision

Dan Lambert b. James Storm – Double beer bottle to the head

Chandler Park b. Jon Bolen – Rollup

Eli Drake b. Alberto El Patron – Title shot to the head

LAX b. OVE – Street Sweeper to Jake

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 28, 2017
Host: Josh Matthews

It’s the second half of the Best of 2017 show and that means a lot more copying and pasting. There are several options that they could choose to air here but the Bound For Glory main event has already been announced. Next week is the show that really matters though so let’s get to it.

We open with a quick video from Slammiversary.

Speaking of Slammiversary.

Unification match and Gail Kim is at ringside. Rosemary has an army of freaks with her. Rosemary goes right after her and here are Laurel Van Ness and KM for the nearly immediate distraction. Sienna gets thrown out onto them and orders them to the back, leaving us one on one again.

From Slammiversary again. This was joined in progress but here’s the full thing.

Jeremy Borash/Joseph Park vs. Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner

From August 24, we see the final five entrants in Gauntlet for the Gold. The match ran over fifty five minutes but we only see about five minutes.

Videos on the international partnerships, including long videos on Eddie Edwards as the GHC World Champion and Johnny Impact as the triple champion of AAA.

Video on Taya Valkyrie.

From September 14, joined in progress again.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Trevor Lee

Dutt is defending and this is falls count anywhere. Lee gets two on the floor off a baseball slide but Dutt sends him into the barricade for a breather. They head inside for the first time with Lee kicking him in the face, only to get dropped again. Dutt throws in a chair but Lee throws it right back out.

They hit kicks to the head at the same time for a double knockdown. Why there’s no count when Dutt’s leg is over Lee isn’t clear, but I’d guess it’s because that’s not in the script and the referee doesn’t know any better. Dutt’s tornado DDT plants Lee but a superplex plants Dutt just as fast. They head outside again with Lee throwing a chair at his head before fighting into the crowd.

We take a break (of course we do) and come back with the fight heading into the back. Caleb Konley jumps Dutt, because falls count anywhere now means No DQ. A trashcan to the head gives Lee two but heel miscommunication lets him get a breather. Dutt is busted open and it’s time to hit Lee in the head with a trashcan lid. A tornado DDT off the wall is countered with a crotching onto a barricade and Lee rolls him up (with tights) for the pin and the title at 13:57.

Rating: C+. It never ceases to amaze me how much they’ve sucked the soul out of this division. This was a fast paced match and I couldn’t bring myself to care about it no matter how hard I tried. It’s just not interesting no matter how hard they try (and the wrestlers are trying) and so much of that is due to how worthless the X-Division is now. They’re treated like an afterthought and have been for years now. Why would I care if the company doesn’t?

From Bound For Glory.

Tag Team Titles: OVE vs. LAX

LAX is defending and this is a street fight. There’s no Homicide, suggesting that he was the one down in the back. Santana and Ortiz dive onto the champs to start in a hurry. The brawl splits in two with Jake kicking a trashcan wrapped around Ortiz as Dave and Santana fight in the crowd. Ortiz fights back and grabs a running Liger Bomb off the ramp through a table to basically kill Jake.

Santana climbs the scaffolding as the fans chant about how they can’t see anything. A big splash from near the roof crushes Dave through a table and thankfully they’re both alive. Back at ringside, Jake fights off a table and pelts a chair at Ortiz’s head to save himself. Some chairs are set up in the ring and it’s Jake superplexing Ortiz through them, banging up his own back pretty badly in the process.

Santana is back inside and the Street Sweeper onto a pile of chairs plants Jake, only to have Dave come back in for the save. Four strikes to the face give us a quadruple knockdown with LAX getting the better of it. Some ladders and tables are set up at ringside but here’s Callihan to throw powder in Konnan’s face. He throws Ortiz onto a ladder and piledrives Santana through a table, giving OVE a double pin to retain at 10:21.

Rating: B-. Fun brawl, though they didn’t exactly hide the ending. It also doesn’t help that OVE was losing a fair fight when Sami came in. That should be a heel turn and given how this company goes, it really wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest. Good match though, with the violence being the focus, as it should have been.

Video on Gail Kim. Now you knew they were getting this in there somewhere.

From November 16. As in we’re skipping the title win, because that might put some focus on ANYONE other than Gail.

Gail comes out for her speech and Allie comes out as an invited guest. Kim talks about wanting to wrestle eighteen years ago and finding a wrestling school so she could do just that. We get the required YOU DESERVE IT chants, even though no one deserves as much praise as Gail gets around here. She thanks the women who helped pave the way to get her here (Trish Stratus, Lita, Molly Holly, Awesome Kong) and she’s at peace with her decision.

She’s vacating the title and can’t wait to see where things go from here. No interruption, nothing for anyone else and just Gail. I’m so glad she got this one last moment to add to her collection of other moments. There’s no denying that Gail is great but this company seems to think she’s Austin and Rock combined. Did I miss it when she became the biggest star the company has ever had?

Video on Moose/Stephan Bonnar vs. American Top Team.

Video on Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake.

And we’ll close it out at Bound For Glory. Joined in progress again, but at least we got to talk about Gail Kim and TripleMania.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Johnny Impact

Drake is defending and has Chris Adonis in his corner. Impact avoids a pre-bell jumping and starts fast with a clothesline. The champ bails to the floor so Johnny is right on him with a slingshot dive. A running flip kick off the apron has Drake in more trouble and a backdrop makes things even worse. Johnny adds a sliding German suplex as Josh says this is the first real test for Drake as champion. Keep in mind that Impact already had a title shot, making Josh sound dumber than usual.

Adonis gets in a cheap shot though and Drake takes over with an elbow off the apron. Drake keeps him outside and throws him into the barricade before choking with a boot. Back in and Drake gets two off a powerslam, followed by some elbow drops. They head outside again with Johnny kicking him in the face, knocking the champ into the post. Johnny’s leg hits post though and Drake takes it back inside.

That’s fine with Impact, who kicks him down and tries a moonsault, only to get elbowed for his efforts. A belly to back superplex drops Drake and another moonsault gets two. The standing shooting star gets the same as that leg seems just fine after hitting the post. Countdown to Impact misses as we’re just waiting on the ref bump/Alberto. Johnny kicks him in the head and goes up again, only to have Adonis offer a distraction.

This time it’s Drake running the corner for a superplex and another near fall. They head up at the same time this time around with Johnny scoring with a super Spanish Fly. That’s not enough either so Adonis throws Drake the belt. Johnny takes it away though and takes Adonis down, followed by Countdown to Impact for two. The Gravy Train is countered into a Shining Wizard but Drake sends him shoulder first into the post.

They head up again (fourth time) but Johnny kicks him down, setting up Starship Pain for two as Alberto pulls the referee out. That’s not a DQ for no logical reason so Johnny dives over the top at Alberto, hitting the referee by mistake. Alberto hits Drake with the belt before breaking a chair over Johnny’s head (Who needs PG?). Drake is pulled onto Johnny to retain the title at 19:49.

Rating: B-. Well Alberto looks like a big deal, Johnny looks like a choker and Drake and the title are now somewhere in the top seven or eight most important things in this company. This sets up Johnny vs. Alberto, but we have no one to challenge for the title. I mean, assuming we don’t get a triple threat out of this, which would be one of the least interesting things they could do. Alberto is clearly the focus of the promotion whether you like it or not, but he should be better now that he’s away from the horrible LAX feud. The match was good, but it was a long exercise in waiting for Alberto.

Josh wraps things up.

Overall Rating: D+. All this show did was show me how messed up Impact’s priorities really are. To recap: we can fit in the entire Gail Kim retirement ceremony and most of a match featuring Shark Boy and Scott Steiner, but we need to clip the main event of the biggest show of the year. Oh and make sure to have that big, long package on the main event of AAA’s biggest show of the year because of course. The lack of ANY kind of hype for next week’s huge show (a graphic or quick announcement wouldn’t have been hard) didn’t help either, making this the mess that I was expecting the Best of TNA to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 14, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

Impact actually has some wrestling competition tonight as WWE is presenting its annual Tribute to the Troops. This week’s big match is for the vacant Knockouts Title as Rosemary vs. Laurel Van Ness wraps up the mini tournament. Other than that we’re likely to get more build between Alberto El Patron, Johnny Impact and Eli Drake for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Laurel and Rosemary arrive.

Recap of Gail Kim vacating the title and the tournament being set up. Again: it was two triple threat matches and a singles match. It’s not exactly some game changer.

Opening sequence.

Sienna vs. KC Spinelli vs. Madison Rayne vs. Allie

#1 contenders match and one fall to a finish. Allie gets triple teamed in the corner to start but Spinelli and Rayne quickly turn on Sienna. A northern lights suplex gives Spinelli two and Madison does the same move for the same result. Spinelli is back with a spinout Rock Bottom but Allie is back in to take both of them down at once. A hair takedown drops Allie though and it’s Sienna coming back in with a big boot to KC.

Sienna tosses Spinelli with a fall away slam for two as Allie makes the save. Back from a break with Sienna faceplanting Madison and throwing Allie down as well. Spinelli and Sienna hit a double clothesline and everyone is down. It’s Allie up first and cleaning house, including a Codebreaker for two on Sienna. Spinelli is loaded up into the AK47 but Allie rolls Sienna up for the pin at 12:39.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one but they got the finish right, especially if we’re heading for Laurel winning the title. Allie is still the most popular name in the division (or second most at worst) and giving her a push towards the title would make sense. That being said, it feels like it’s just being kept warm while we wait on Taya’s visa issues to be resolved, which makes some sense.

Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier/Taiji Ishimori

Lee and Ishimori start things off as we hear about expansion into Italy. Maybe we can see some Italian wrestlers that mean nothing around here for a change. Xavier comes in and uppercuts Lee a few times before dropkicking him in the back of the head. Lee sends Dezmond outside and scores with a running kick to the face as we take a break. Back with Xavier still in trouble as Konley sends him hard into the corner. Lee comes back in for a chinlock and a hard clothesline.

Somehow, during an X-Division match, the commentary manages to bring the discussion back to Gail Kim. We saw her during the opening and we discussed her during the Knockouts match and now we’re hearing about her too. Well of course we are. The hot tag brings in Ishimori to thankfully speed things up a bit, only to have Lee grab a German suplex for two. Everything breaks down and Dezmond gets caught in the Tree of Woe. For some reason they try a spike piledriver in the same corner though, allowing Xavier to make the save. Ishimori rolls Lee up for the pin at 12:49.

Rating: C. This division is so dull and so much of that is due to the villains. You can only do the “I’m the champion and you want the title” story for so long and they passed that point a LONG time ago. Completely average match here as we keep waiting for Ishimori to hopefully save us from the drek that is Lee’s X-Division Title reign.

We recap Dan Lambert pinning James Storm last week.

Alberto El Patron, Petey Williams and Johnny Impact aren’t happy with having to team together tonight. El Patron and Johnny talk a bunch of trash while Petey just stands around like someone who doesn’t belong here. Well you can’t fault him for his way of thinking.

We see the last five minutes of the Knockouts Gauntlet Match to crown the first ever Knockouts Champion at Bound For Glory 2007. The winner of course: Gail Kim.

Chris Adonis and Eli Drake seem to have found their partner for the six man tag in the form of Jimmy Jacobs.

Alberto El Patron/Johnny Impact/Petey Williams vs. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Kongo Kong

Or not actually as Jacobs comes out to say he’s a good guy. He’s here to help, which is why he’s found Adonis and Drake a partner. Quick question: has Impact ever explained who Jacobs is or why he’s here? Or are we just supposed to have a working knowledge of who has left WWE over the last few months?

Alberto hammers on Adonis to start but gets shoved into a tag to Impact. That goes nowhere so Petey chases Adonis into the corner….and earns a shot against Kong. A rolling backsplash crushes Williams and it’s back to Adonis to stomp in the corner. The slow beatdown continues and we’re just lucky enough to see more Kong. Drake comes in after a splash and drops an elbow for good measure.

Adonis almost hits Kong by mistake and the apology allows the hot tag off to Johnny. There’s a Flying Chuck for two on Drake but Alberto comes in to break up some attempted cheating. That’s enough being nice though as Alberto hits a Backstabber on Johnny. Petey gets caught in a double flapjack but Kong misses his top rope splash.

Johnny dives onto Drake but Petey’s slingshot hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb into the crowd. Kong and Petey head to the back, leaving Johnny to deck Alberto. There’s Starship Pain but Alberto DDTs Johnny on the ramp. A frog splash to Drake is good for the pin at 8:32.

Rating: B-. Alberto logic made sense and it’s fine to have the champ get pinned in a tag match, but you really could have done almost the same match without Kong and Williams. This got a lot better at the end and once we got to the storyline stuff, but even the worst part of it wasn’t that bad. Just don’t let Alberto talk.

The Legion of Doom was in TNA for a cup of coffee back in the early days.

Alberto gets a title shot on the January 4 show.

The Park Family is proud of how well business is going but Chandler wants to be a wrestler. Joseph isn’t sure.

Video on the Grand Championship match, which will now be a three way involving champion Ethan Carter III, Fallah Bahh and Matt Sydal. That also takes place on January 4.

Also on January 4, Taiji Ishimori vs. Trevor Lee for the X-Division Title.

The next two weeks will be Best of 2017 specials.

All Storm wants is to face Lambert one on one. Dan goes into his usual wrestling sucks speech and eventually calls Storm the face of the company. Here’s the deal: if they fight each other, Storm’s career is on the line. Storm agrees, but if he wins, the MMA guys are all gone. Lashley and Moose start fighting and here’s KM, who is quickly cut off by a Last Call.

Storm vs. Lambert is set for the January 4 show.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Laurel Van Ness

The title is vacant coming in. Van Ness is sent outside and we take a break less than a minute in. Back (after a good while) with Rosemary hammering away in the corner and Cactus Clotheslining her outside. Laurel is up first and kicks Rosemary face first onto the ramp. That’s only good for two back inside and it’s time to shove each other a lot. Rosemary is up first and grabs her leaning back choke over the ropes.

They fall outside again with an exploder suplex dropping Laurel on the floor. Back in and Rosemary spears her down but has to escape an Unprettier. The Red Wedding doesn’t work either and Rosemary misses the mist. The delay allows Laurel to hit the Unprettier off the top for the pin and the title at 14:04.

Rating: C+. I’m a bit surprised by the ending but at least we have Laurel vs. Allie to look forward to. The match wasn’t bad but treating this like some kind of huge tournament win and a passing of the torch from Kim (who was mentioned almost as much as either finalist leading up to the match) is quite the stretch.

We go to a meeting between Konnan and Sami Callihan. They argue over who is in charge of this company and a match is made with titles vs. careers. Konnan agrees and says after LAX is done with OVE, they’ll be like O’Reilly and Spacey. Callihan throws a fireball at Konnan’s face to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty solid show here as they’re setting up something big for the January 4 show. That being said, I might have liked the show more because it means I get two weeks off from watching the show for the most part. If nothing else this show needs a breather and hopefully they have something a little more interesting when they get to the next taping cycle. This show worked better because it was mainly wrestling and didn’t feature much of Impact’s very sub par writing. Do that more often and the show gets better, though I don’t trust them to pull it off.

Results

Allie b. KC Spinelli, Madison Rayne and Sienna – Rollup to Sienna

Taiji Ishimori/Dezmond Xavier b. Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee – Rollup to Lee

Alberto El Patron/Johnny Impact/Petey Williams b. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Kongo Kong – Frog splash to Drake

Laurel Van Ness b. Rosemary – Super Unprettier

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 7, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

It’s almost time for a new year but first we need to wrap up the old one as we continue Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron. Last week Johnny him in a long showdown but World Champion Eli Drake is looming on the outskirts. We’ll also get more in the Knockouts Title tournament so let’s get to it.

We open with various names, including El Patron, Drake, James Storm and Dan Lambert, promising to take care of whomever they’re mad at this week.

Opening sequence.

Caleb Konley vs. Taiji Ishimori

They hit the mat to start with Konley working a headlock until Taiji throws him outside. The tease of a dive has Konley freaked out but he still manages to send Ishimori face first down for two. A backsplash gives Konley the same and he throws Ishimori outside for some shots from Trevor Lee. Back in and a spinning strike to the face looks to set up a TKO, only to have Ishimori counter into a reverse DDT. The 450 puts Konley away at 6:13.

Rating: C. So the guy from Japan who never talks, has almost no personality and no character other than “he’s awesome and from Japan” (and who does impress in the ring most of the time) beat a boring guy in plain black trunks, likely setting up a match against another boring guy in plain black trunks with longer hair. We don’t have time to learn anything about them though because we might not get to hear about how to make Impact great or Alberto’s half Spanish/half English.

Lee comes in for the post match beatdown but Dezmond Xavier makes the save.

Knockouts Title Tournament First Round: Allie vs. Sienna vs. Rosemary

The winner gets Laurel Van Ness for the title. Sienna bails to the floor to start so the other two go outside and chop away. Back in and Sienna chops on Rosemary before hitting a running hip attack in the corner. Allie and Rosemary are whipped into each other, followed by a clothesline to put Rosemary on the floor.

A kick to the chest staggers Sienna but she’s right back up for a superplex with Rosemary having to make a save. Sienna gets caught in a double armbar for a near submission, only to have Rosemary and Allie let go. That means a slugout (demon vs. Easter egg) until Sienna comes back in and eats a hard German suplex. The Red Wedding gives Rosemary the pin on Sienna at 6:14.

Rating: C-. Just three women doing moves to each other until one of them won. Rosemary vs. Laurel should be fun, even if it seems that Laurel is just a placeholder while Taya Valkyrie has visa issues. Rosemary looked the strongest here so there’s little to complain about, even if it wasn’t thrilling stuff.

Sami Callihan and OVE are in the ring to talk about how much they can’t stand Canada and Mexico. It’s two countries full of nonsense and the feud with LAX continues. This has gone beyond wrestling and is now gang warfare. Callihan brags about Ohio being awesome but some Canadians named TDT (two guys who seem to be from Montreal) come out to issue a challenge. TDT gets the better of it until Sami makes the save with a kendo stick. Some chairs are loaded up in the middle but LAX makes the save. OVE bails in short order.

Allie is upset when she runs into Gail Kim, who says Allie didn’t let her down.

Clip of Christopher Daniels vs. Senshi from Lockdown 2006.

KM beats up a bunch of people in a gym to prove himself to American Top Team.

LAX is ready to get the titles back.

Eli Drake and Chris Adonis are ready for Petey Williams and Johnny Impact tonight.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Sydal

Sydal is challenging. They circle each other to start with little contact in the first thirty seconds. Ethan’s headlock goes nowhere so he shoulders him down to take over for the first time. That earns Ethan a kick to the head, followed by a standing moonsault for two. Ethan hammers him down without too much trouble though and sends Sydal outside. Back in and a delayed vertical suplex ends round one, with Carter getting the win.

Round two stats fast with Sydal stomping and chopping away, only to be sent into the corner for some stomps from the champ. We hit the cravate for a good bit until Sydal fights up with more kicks. A suplex of his own gets two and we wrap up round two with Sydal tying it up.

Carter gets in a cheap shot to end the round though and Sydal starts slowly, allowing Ethan to hit a hard sitout powerbomb for two. Sydal’s double knees from the top give him the save, followed by a side roll and another near fall. Sydal bolts up top but the shooting star is broken up. A superplex is broken up so Sydal tries another shooting star, which only hits mat. They hit a double clothesline and that’s the end of the round. After a break, the third round is…..a draw, meaning it’s a tie at 9:00. Guest judge Fallah Bahh gave the third vote.

Rating: C+. I liked the match more and these two have chemistry together but the round system is still getting annoying. I’m not sure why they’re keeping that system around and it’s not like anything is really being made better because of it. Just let it be a match with a ten (yes ten, not nine) minute time limit like fans want. But hey, let’s be different instead of logical.

Long clip of James Storm vs. Bobby Roode from Bound For Glory 2012. That was a great match.

Park Park and Park ad. The intentionally low budget is awesome.

Bobby Lashley/Dan Lambert vs. James Storm/Moose

Lambert is wrestling barefoot and American Top Team is at ringside. Storm and Lashley start things off with an early Sling Blade taking Lashley down. Moose comes in for a backsplash (because everyone has to use a backsplash these days) but a Lambert distraction lets Lashley take him down.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Moose gets in a spear. That means a hot tag to Storm as Lashley has no one to tag. The American Top Team member in the neck brace comes in so Moose bicycle kicks him down and tosses him onto the pile at ringside. The distraction lets Lashley spear Storm down so Lambert can get the pin at 5:25.

Rating: D. I’m so sick of this stupid feud and the MMA guys being presented as anything more than a novelty. I have no idea why they’re being brought in all the time for the sake of just being warm bodies but I’m sure it’s something about cross promotion or whatever. Bad match too, but that’s the case with these guys more often than not.

Lashley isn’t happy with Lambert but shakes his hand anyway.

Johnny Impact and Petey Williams are ready for the main event. Alberto better keep his nose out of this too.

Ad for the finals of the Knockout tournament, which is nowhere near as epic as they’re making it out to be. It was a pair of triple threats and a singles match, not Wrestlemania IV.

Chris Adonis/Eli Drake vs. Johnny Impact/Petey Williams

Johnny and Chris start things off with Impact being run over but nipping back up. Eli accidentally shoulders Adonis in the corner and we get the drop toehold into the crotch as we take a break. Back with Drake hitting a backbreaker on Williams and bringing Adonis back in for a knee to the spine. The double stomping ensues and Drake gets two off a jumping elbow (with some finger poking included).

Petey finally snaps off a hurricanrana, only to get caught in a belly to back slam to give Adonis two instead. Williams rolls away and makes a hot tag to Johnny though as everything breaks down. A standing shooting star gets two on Adonis and the flip neckbreaker gets the same. Petey comes back in with a slingshot Codebreaker to Drake but gets caught in the Adonis Lock. Johnny makes the save with a Flying Chuck, followed by Starship Pain for the pin on Adonis at 13:23.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag here that continues to show the value of having a lackey like Adonis who can take fall after fall like this and be fine. Drake vs. Impact vs. Alberto isn’t exactly thrilling but at least there’s something there. I hope we don’t have to go with Alberto as champion again though as I don’t think I can handle that level of indifference again.

Post match Alberto runs in and sends Drake into the post. A DDT onto the title ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If I had to sum up this promotion in one statement, it would be lack of effort. So many of the stories here feel like the idea is “you people go out there and do this”. End of direction, end of idea, end of motivation. Maybe if we didn’t have to show classic clips or hear from KM and LAX (Why are so many people on this show either an acronym or initials?) or talk about mixed martial arts being so freaking awesome, we could get some of these people some promo time so we can have a chance to care about them. The show wasn’t the worst but it’s still lacking energy and that’s very bad as well.

Results

Taiji Ishimori b. Caleb Konley – 450

Rosemary b. Sienna and Allie – Red Wedding to Sienna

Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Sydal went to a draw

Bobby Lashley/Dan Lambert b. James Storm/Moose – Spear to Storm

Johnny Impact/Petey Williams b. Chris Adonis/Eli Drake – Starship Pain to Adonis

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6