Impact Wrestling
Date: June 21, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re coming off one of the most entertaining nights Impact has put on in a long time but there was a small bump in the road just afterwards as they aired their regular show. The big news coming off that: we get ANOTHER Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy match this week as they fight inside a cage. I doubt they can top the commercial marathon from last week but let’s get to it.

We open with dueling promos from Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy as they both talk about how this is the final battle. I’m so sure.

Here’s Drew Galloway for an opening chat. Galloways isn’t going to whine and complain but he wants Ethan Carter III out here right now. Carter apologizes for what happened last week but Drew wants a fight. He thinks Carter was on commentary because Carter thought he deserved the title shot instead.

Ethan says he shouldn’t have been in the title match because he was burned out. They yell about how hard both of them worked as champion but Ethan rescinds his apology and says he should be champ. Drew thinks Ethan got where he was by talking instead of fighting so it’s about to be on.

Cue Lashley to laugh about them arguing before both guys think they should have a #1 contenders match. Instead Lashley has set up a tag match where Drew and Ethan will team together. If they win they get a title shot (not clear if it’s one at a time or a triple threat) but if they lose they go to the back of the line. If Lashley’s team wins, his partner gets a title shot so here’s Eli Drake to offer to be the partner. Lashley agrees and it’s on right now.

Lashley/Eli Drake vs. Ethan Carter III/Drew Galloway

Lashley goes after Ethan to start but a standoff means a double tag. Drake gets taken into the corner as the good guys keep tagging themselves in, much to each others’ annoyances. Ethan backdrops Drake but Eli grabs a quick neckbreaker. It’s off to Lashley for a quick choke before Eli punches Ethan in the face a few times.

The bad guys keep taking turns stomping away before Eli slaps on a chinlock. A double clothesline drops Ethan and Lashley but Drake knocks Drew off the apron to break up the tag attempt. The TK3 allows the hot tag to Drew as everything breaks down. Blunt Force Trauma is broken up and the 1%er plants Eli, only to have Lashley spear Ethan down. That’s fine with Drew as he pins Drake at 8:17.

Rating: C. Well I’m glad they solved that issue in the span of twenty minutes. As usual, TNA has no idea how to let something build up because it can’t be the main event since that’s Matt and Jeff’s designated territory and the idea of waiting a week just isn’t in TNA’s lexicon. I like the story and I love the fact that these guys are being built up but let the stories progress over time, not all at once.

Decay wants to know who Rosemary has been talking to but she says to trust her. They’ll get an answer tonight.

Lashley comes up to Drew in the back and says he holds all the cards. He might give Ethan the first shot but Drew wants to step outside right now.

Here’s Decay to reveal who Rosemary has been talking to. They’re the death dealers but tonight they want to offer life to….Bram. She asks everyone to trust each other and thinks Bram is fed up with everyone trying to fix him. Bram lost the King of the Mountain Title because he was alone and they don’t want him to be like that anymore. The answer is decay. Bram: “I guess you’re kind of hot, I don’t know.” Bram declines the offer though and the beatdown is on.

Lashley congratulates Ethan on getting his title shot but it’s still on his terms. Ethan will know who gets the shot by the end of the night. As I said earlier: SLOW DOWN WITH THESE THINGS.

Marti Bell vs. Jade

Jade goes right after her to start as a fan tries to start dueling chants. Marti takes over and sends it to the floor while yelling a lot. That’s fine with Jade who picks up Marti’s baton, only to be told to put it down. You don’t argue with Earl Hebner so they head inside, sans baton. A German suplex looks to set up Jade’s package piledriver but Marti escapes and slaps her in the face. Jade faceplants her hard and Marti bails to the floor to grab that baton for a knockout shot for the pin at 5:49.

Rating: D-. The wrestling was nothing, the story was nothing, and the ending was predictable. I really don’t think anyone was looking forward to this match and I have no idea why it’s going to continue other than they have a lot of time to fill and think these two are interesting because they’ve been on TV before.

Maria Kanellis and Mike Bennett will respond to Dixie slapping Maria in the ring.

Lashley laughs at Dixie about the slap so she says he’ll face both Ethan and Drew next week. That’s fine with Lashley, who is way too cool with this.

Here are Mike and Maria with something to say. Josh says they’ve gone radio silent on social media since last week. Just out of curiosity I checked both of their Twitters and couldn’t find the end of their tweets from the last 24 hours. In other words, Josh Matthews continues to have no idea what he’s talking about. Anyway, Maria says she hasn’t slept in a week and the slap last week was assault. They demand Dixie is out here right now so here she is, along with Billy Corgan.

Maria screeches that Dixie needs to step down but Dixie thinks it’s crazy. Mike threatens to sue TNA for so much money that Dixie would lose everything. Eh true but small claims courts are backed up for months. Corgan suggests that Dixie take a leave of absence for about a week. Yes a week. Dixie panics but agrees before leaving. Mike wants an X-Division Title shot because Destination X is coming up soon. He can wrestle any style, no matter what the keyboard warriors think. Billy thinks Mike needs to earn that so he can have a title shot right now.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Mike Bennett

Eddie is defending and Josh starts things off by talking about everything Eddie has accomplished as champion. He’s held the belt NINE DAYS and has had one successful title defense. As usual, Josh Matthews continues to be stupid. Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana to start and avoids a Bennett knee drop. Maria offers a distraction as the announcers talk about bullfrogs. A quick cutter gives Mike two and we hit the chinlock on the champ. Eddie fights back and sends him outside for a pair of suicide dives.

Back in and a Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Bennett and Eddie heads up top. Mike tries a superplex but Eddie smacks his ears to break it up. Josh: “How appropriate in an X-Division match.” Josh Matthews, stupid, you know the drill. Anyway the Miracle in Progress is broken up and Eddie tries a sunset flip, only to have Mike kneel down and hold the ropes (while Maria holds his hands) for the pin and the title at 8:32.

Rating: C-. This was your standard “it’s that time of the year so the X-Division Title means something to the main eventers” match but I really can’t get over all the stupid things Josh was saying. He got on my nerves last year when he called fans stupid for bringing up Austin Aries losing his career because they were paying too much attention and now he just says stupid stuff. I’m sure I’m just overthinking it though because wrestling fans are stupid people who overthink thinks.

Robbie E. plugs Big Brother After Dark and sees Jesse and Raquel talking about doing something behind Robbie’s back.

Braxton Sutter vs. Balam

Actually not so fast as Rockstar Spud comes out and says he’s taking Balam’s place because he’s sick of the Braxton Sutter show. Spud runs his mouth and gets punched in the face to start things off.

Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

Sutter sends him into the corner but gets caught in a tornado DDT for two. Spud’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere as Sutter kicks him in the face and hits a Downward Spiral for the pin at 2:40. There’s no reason for them to do so, but I’m sure these two will fight again.

Post match Spud kicks Sutter low, hits him in the back with a belt and spits on him.

Video on Sienna, talking about how hard she trains and how she wants to destroy Gail Kim. Until she mentioned Kim, this was a face promo.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Cage match with pin or submission only to win. Jeff doesn’t even waste time by throwing in tables, a ladder and a chair before Matt can even come out. Reby Hardy introduces Matt and insists that no one call him crazy. Matt brings in his own chair and somehow doesn’t notice Jeff on the top, waiting to dive on him at the bell. Matt comes back by shoving Jeff into the cage for two. Another whip sends Jeff into the cage and us to a break.

Back with Matt still in control as the announcers try to make sense of the story. Matt takes too long setting up a table though and eats a chair to the face. Poetry in Motion only hits the cage though and Matt bites the leg. A Side Effect through a chair only gets two for Matt but Jeff comes back with Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down.

Some Twists of Fate keep Matt down but the Swanton only gets two. The fans aren’t reacting to any of this. Another Twist of Fate puts Matt on a table so Jeff puts a chair on top of him. A second table is stacked on top of that before Jeff puts a ladder on the ropes for a splash through the top table but not through Matt. Not that it matters of course as it’s enough to pin Matt at 14:13.

Rating: B-. Ok now what’s next? I mean, I have no reason to believe this wraps up the feud so what are they doing next? It’s clear that these two are going to feud for months on end while the fans get quieter and quieter because they’re desensitized to these huge spots after seeing them for years. It’s a good cage match and all but the big spot is the only thing that’s going to matter.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a better show than they’ve done recently and a lot of that was due to having the Hardys contained to the last twenty or so minutes. They’re going to get in their stuff no matter what happens so just let them have their time while the rest of the show is mostly strong. It’s not a great show or anything but if they can get this pacing stuff down, everything will get better in a hurry.

Above all else though, the most frustrating thing about TNA continues to be that they clearly know how to create new stars (Sutter, Carter, Galloway etc.) but those people are typically stuck underneath the Hardys’ nonsense. It’s gotten better in recent weeks but I can’t help think that whichever Hardy comes out of this on top is next in line for the title after pushing everyone else out of the way to less of a reaction because we’ve seen that so many times.

Results

Drew Galloway/Ethan Carter III b. Lashley/Eli Drake – 1%er to Drake

Marti Bell b. Jade – Baton to the head

Mike Bennett b. Eddie Edwards – Rollup while holding the ropes

Braxton Sutter b. Rockstar Spud – Downward Spiral

Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy – Swanton Bomb through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 7, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and the big question is what the heck Matt and Jeff Hardy are going to do after last week’s bizarre video from inside Matt’s barn with the fake baby and difficult to destroy table. Good or bad, it’s been a hot topic in wrestling ever since so they’re doing something right. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Matt attacking Jeff.

Here’s Matt in the arena to a JEFF IS BETTER chant. Matt talks about how Jeff was jealous of Matt being World Champion so he had to be destroyed. That’s why you won’t see Jeff here tonight, tomorrow or on Sunday. However, before Matt can be whole again, he needs his World Title back. This brings out Drew Galloway, who Matt says would never be champion without Jeff’s help. Matt wants to be added to the main event of Slammiversary but Drew says no. Hardy calls him a coward so Drew agrees to defend the title tonight against Matt.

Madison Rayne vs. Sienna

Winner gets Jade (at ringside here) for the title on Sunday. Allie offers an early verbal distraction, allowing Sienna to get in a few cheap shots from behind. Sienna starts working on the back but can’t hit the AK-47 (that spinning faceplant as dubbed by Dinero). Madison gets in a dropkick but a few shots to the back sets up the AK-47 for the pin and the title shot at 2:33.

Post match Jade saves Madison from a beating. Can we just get the title on Sienna so Gail can get it back in the big special moment at Bound For Glory? You know, for a change of pace.

Maria and Mike Bennett say they’ll win tonight.

Eli Drake is on a mountain and tells Bram to come get him.

Here’s Eli Drake for Fact of Life. Drake’s guest is….himself. Yeah last week he beat Bram because Bram is a dummy. He’ll be champion as long as he wants but tonight he wants to recognize some other champions so here’s Decay. Drake compares them to a basketball team and thinks Rosemary might be the hottest Knockout around under all that makeup. He asks how they’re going to take the BroMans apart on Sunday so Steve talks about all the evil inside them. Abyss says the BroMans aren’t beautiful and they’ll decay at Slammiversary.

Cue the BroMans and Raquel to say they want a fight tonight. A match is teased and it’s Grado and Mahabali Shera coming out because we were starting to get a bit serious. Drake says they should be worried about the Tribunal and presses the DUMMY button a lot. The Tribunal comes out for the big brawl and Bram attacks Drake from behind as we go to a commercial.

Eli Drake/Decay/Tribunal vs. Mahabali Shera/Grado/BroMans/Bram

Shera works on Drake’s arm to start and Eli bails from Bram in a hurry. Abyss comes in and hammers away on Bram before Steve bites his forehead. It’s off to Robbie for a beating from Steve and then another one from Baron Dax as Al Snow continues blowing his whistle. He’s a coach now you see. Basile chinlocks Robbie for a good while but Robbie gets up and brings in Robbie.

A quick BroDown drops Steve but Abyss makes the save as everything breaks down. Robbie gets in a nice dive before Bram starts cleaning house with knees and clotheslines. Grado gets in a Bionic Elbow on Drake but a frog splash only gets two. The referee is distracted though so Drake hits Grado low and does that knee lift/clothesline combo for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: D+. Just too much going on here and nothing had a chance to focus. You had three feuds in one here and that’s a little too much at once. The Tribunal vs. Grado/Shera is one of the weakest feuds in a long time because it revolves around Al Snow. Bram vs. Drake could be good but it’s really not a feud that has any steam going into Sunday. The BroMans are as added on of a set of challengers as I’ve seen in a good while.

Gail Kim does her basic promo about how she wants to show Maria how serious this is. Ethan Carter III talks about how he wants to use the sword of redemption on Bennett this Sunday.

Lashley isn’t pleased with Matt getting a title shot tonight and promises to make sure things go right tonight. Matt says the title is his and Lashley just needs to understand that.

We see Ethan Carter III and Mike Bennett having a weigh-in. A fight broke out of course.

Gail Kim/Ethan Carter III vs. Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett

Not so fast yet as Maria is going to have Allie take her place. Allie screeches a lot until Ethan actually begs her to stop. Gail comes in to run Allie over but Maria trips her up to give Allie an opening. A double faceplant drops both women though and it’s a double tag to bring in the guys. The 1%er is broken up but Bennett is sent to the floor. Allie goes after Ethan to no avail so the guys run up the ramp. Back inside and Eat Defeat is broken up but Allie’s brainbuster is countered into a small package to give Gail the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. Nothing to this one but they’re very wise to have Maria not wrestle as it’s really not her strong suit. Allie is in a weird place as she’s certainly talented in the ring but she’s playing a character who doesn’t have much of a wrestling background. The dynamic is working but Maria is going to have to wrestle at some point.

Post match Sienna runs in and Gail gets a Conchairto on her leg.

Willow hijacks a feed. Great.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Shane Helms in his corner. Eddie starts the fight on the floor but a Helms distraction lets Trevor stomp him down. A comeback is cut off by another distraction and Trevor stomps away again. Trevor’s atomic drop doesn’t do much as Eddie sends him outside for a plancha followed by a suicide dive.

Back in and Lee uppercuts him in the back of the head before a lifting German suplex gets two. Cue Andrew Everett for a distraction but Lee’s jumping knee only gets two. DJZ comes out for a save but Helms hits Eddie in the head with the title belt to give Lee the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C+. The match was a good technical display but how far have they buried this title? There’s no mention of a title match on Sunday but I’m sure we’ll get some big multi-man match because that’s what the thing is all about. Well at least when they have time to feature the thing between the same people getting four segments a show.

Lashley comes up to Galloway and says he hopes Drew keeps the title tonight. Galloway talks about making Kurt Angle tap out so he’s ready for Lashley.

Gail Kim’s knee is hurt. Uh, thanks as I wouldn’t have gotten that otherwise.

Braxton Sutter vs. Billy Callis

Callis powers him down in to the corner to start but Sutter punches him back. A few kicks to the ribs set up a jumping Downward Spiral to pin Callis at 2:10. Sutter looks good but the name sucks.

Sutter says he’s worked hard to get here and he’s going to take over. That’s no BS.

Willow talks about Jeff Hardy’s war with Matt.

Ethan gives a fired up promo about the showdown with Bennett on Sunday.

We run down the Slammiversary card with Trevor Lee defending the X-Division Title against Andrew Everett, DJZ and Eddie Edwards added. Well that was obvious.

Video on Galloway vs. Lashley.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending. Josh isn’t sure if Matt vs. Jeff will be happening because no one has seen Jeff, though we’ve seen Willow. They quickly head outside with Drew catching a charging Matt and tilt-a-whirl slamming him on the apron. A Side Effect onto the steps puts Matt in control though and a neckbreaker gets two back inside.

Matt bites the champ’s forehead and puts on his guillotine choke. Drew flips him over for the break and it’s time for some chops to make Matt’s chest red. The Celtic Cross drops Matt but he counters a superplex attempt, only to have Drew lift himself up and throw Matt off the top. The Claymore is loaded up but Lashley comes in for the DQ at 6:15.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but again you knew the ending before they even started. Lashley vs. Galloway is a good enough feud but this company is all about the Hardys and everyone knows it. Lashley basically said he was going to interfere here and that’s not the way you want things to go, especially in a big match like this designed to make you want to buy a pay per view.

Post match Galloway and Lashley fight to the back and the lights go out. They come back on and most of the fans (at least in the lower arena) are wearing Willow masks. Cue a bunch of Willows on the stage when the real Willow appears on screen to say Jeff will be free on Sunday to end Matt once and for all. Here’s Jeff to come out and stare at Matt, who is shocked by this for some reason. They brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Why does this company have to do some good stuff to give me hope for their post Slammiversary stretch? The World Title feud and Bennett vs. Carter are both good but sweet goodness that Hardy vs. Hardy feud is death. It’s a rare situation where all you can do is look at it and pretty much be in awe because there’s nothing that needs to be said about it. Yeah the match is probably going to be a spectacle because both guys are insane but the story building up to it is pure dreadful.

The rest of the show felt crammed together but that’s TNA: focus on one or two things and if there’s time for the rest, those stories are just lucky to get the consideration they receive. Slammiversary is going to be a very up and down show that I’m really not looking forward to but there are parts that could be quite good.

Results

Sienna b. Madison Rayne – AK-47

Decay/Eli Drake/Tribunal b. BroMans/Bram/Grado/Mahabali Shera – Clothesline to Grado

Gail Kim/Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett/Allie – Small package to Allie

Trevor Lee b. Eddie Edwards – Pin after Shane Helms hit Edwards with the X-Division Title

Braxton Sutter b. Billy Callis – Jumping Downward Spiral

Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Lashley interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re getting closer to Slammiversary and the card is set for the most part. After last wee’s Hardy centric episode, tonight is about the World Title as Lashley and Drew Galloway get to choose each other’s opponents in a Pick Your Poison series. Other than that it should be interesting to see what gets some focus heading into the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, mainly focusing on Matt Hardy.

Dixie Carter is putting a mystery man in charge tonight.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis (hokey smoke) to open things up. Mike knows that he’s not in charge because he didn’t hear from Dixie on AOL Instant Messenger or MySpace so he wants the boss to get out here right now. Of course it’s Ethan Carter III and Bennett freezes. Ethan thinks Mike should have the night off tonight and Bennett doesn’t seem to mind.

Actually what Ethan meant was a night off from wrestling because Mike will be cleaning the toilets all night. Maria freaks out but Ethan tells her to put a sock in it. Apparently she’s gotten on management’s nerves so tonight Ethan is reviewing her decisions to see if she’s fired. Bennett threatens violence but Ethan throws them out anyway. Now it’s time for Lashley, who teases a fight with Ethan but just wants to talk about Pick Your Poison with Drew Galloway. This brings out Galloway as we take a break.

We come back to see Ethan showing Mike the toilets he’s in charge of and apparently there’s quite the stench.

Back in the arena, Drew introduces Lashley’s opponent.

Bram vs. Lashley

Non-title. Bram hammers away to start but Lashley pounds him down and takes it to the floor with Bram being sent into the barricade. Lashley takes too much time messing with his headband though and Bram comes back with a few shots to the face. The Brighter Side of Suffering is broken up so Lashley catches him with a spinebuster. Some clotheslines look to set up the spear but instead Lashley heads outside for a chair and that’s a DQ at 6:19.

Rating: D+. This is a match that could have been something interesting but instead it’s a champion looking like a second rate loser. Bram is someone who could be an important talent going forward but why go with that when you can push someone else in his place? At least it wasn’t a clean pin though.

Post match Lashley spears Bram a few times until Galloway comes out for the save with a chair. Cue Eli Drake with his briefcase and you know what’s going on.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake

Bram is defending and kicks out at two at the bell. They slug it out in the corner until Drake hits a knee to the face and clothesline for the pin and the title at 1:01.

Raquel’s latest lesson to the BroMans is to focus, which in this case means watching her walk around the pool in a swimsuit.

Mike Bennett is still cleaning toilets when Earl Hebner walks out of a stall. After a bit of swearing, Bennett is now a referee.

Drake drinks champagne and abuses people backstage.

We go to the Hardy Family Estate where Matt has invited Jeff for the contract signing.

BroMans vs. Tyrus/Rockstar Spud

Bennett is referee and the winners here get a title shot at Slammiversary. Robbie punches Spud to start and it’s off to Tyrus without a tag but Bennett says it’s fine. Jesse gets beaten down by both villains as the announcers talk about how Tyrus and Spud have nothing to do without Matt Hardy being around. A Raquel distraction lets Jesse come in and beat up Spud, setting up the BroDown. The Adonis Lock makes Spud tap at 4:03.

Rating: D+. I can’t imagine they give the BroMans the titles at Slammiversary, even with the good looking manager. Tyrus and Spud being all depressed without Matt around is a really stupid story and doesn’t fit Tyrus whatsoever, but that’s never been a major issue for TNA so I doubt it’s going to change here.

Maria, in a different outfit, is on the phone with Billy Corgan about how Ethan is screwing this place up. Ethan comes up and hangs up the phone. They’re about to head to the ring where he’ll settle this whole ordeal between Gail and Maria.

Clip of Jeff Hardy driving his motorcycle to Matt’s estate.

Ethan is in the ring as Maria, Allie and Sienna come down. The other two (Girl A and Girl B according to Ethan) are asked to leave as Ethan brings Gail Kim down. The result is going to be a match between the two of them at Slammiversary, which is what Gail has wanted from the beginning. As for tonight though, Gail has a partner and since Maria has two women on her team, we’ll have a tag match right now.

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Sienna/Allie

Allie screeches a lot as Gail and Sienna slug it out to start. A shot from Allie lets Sienna take over as the screeching continues. Sienna and Allie hit a double slam on Gail for two before it’s off to Jade to kick Sienna down. A missile dropkick gets two on Sienna but Allie tags herself in and tries to talk her way out of getting beaten up. That earns her forearms and a kick to the head as Sienna comes back in, only to Eats Defeat, followed by Jade package piledriving Allie in the face for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: D. Allie’s screaming is a big detraction here but this continues the theme of “let’s have good looking women on the show.” I know the Knockouts are a big deal but tonight has been a lot more about making the women into eye candy, with Allie’s short skirt here being a prime example.

We go back to the estate where Matt is playing the piano when Jeff comes in. Matt talks about this place being their genesis and walks away.

Back in the arena, Bennett freaks out on Ethan because he’s not a janitor or a referee. Bennett: “And my wife isn’t a wrestler.” Ethan gives him a match tonight and hopefully his opponent is sober.

James Storm vs. Mike Bennett

Joined in progress with Bennett in street clothes and getting two off a clothesline. We’re already off to a chinlock for a bit before Storm makes his comeback with right hands and clotheslines. Storm hits the Eye of the Storm and looks to set up the Last Call but Maria distracts him with a beer. Somehow this works on a former World Champion and a slap to the face lets Bennett grab a rollup for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and since there was no real reason for them to be fighting it was a pretty worthless six minutes. It also doesn’t help that a former World Champion is easily pinned by a slap and rollup but they had to come up with some way out of this for Bennett.

Post match Ethan says he’s coming for Bennett at Slammiversary.

Here’s Al Snow to a BORING chant to talk about how he’s looking for talent over in England. This brings out Baron Dax and Basile Baraka (Marcus Louis and Sylvester LeFort), now collectively known as the Tribunal. Both of them talk about how they’re bringing talent and class back to wrestling. Snow yells about wanting to get rid of weapons unlike Grado, who he beat with a single wrestling move last week.

We see him pinning Grado after a Snow Plow, but here are Grado and Mahabali Shera to show us the full footage, including Snow using a trashcan lid. Snow goes off about how kids these days can doctor footage on any computer. Somehow parents are brought into this and Snow says Shera’s mom loves him. The fight is on and Snow hits Grado and Shera with a chair so the beatdown can be on.

Braxton Sutter (Pepper Parks) talks about how most people get their big break earlier but the day he was offered a contract was one of the best days of his life. He doesn’t have a story of when he started watching wrestling because it’s always been there for him. His goal is to be World Heavyweight Champion and he’ll start anywhere. This was a serious speech but had some emotion to it in a nice moment.

We run down the pay per view card.

Back to the Hardy estate where Matt says this must all end where it began. Jeff follows him into a barn where there’s a ring set up. Josh says stay tuned to find out if the match was signed. I’m sure that’s why they just advertised it on the pay per view rundown.

Lashley comes out to announce Drew’s opponent.

Drew Galloway vs. Decay

As in all three members. Drew fights both men at the same time but can’t bring himself to punch Rosemary. That allows the numbers game to take over with Drew being sent to the floor for a big beatdown, including a whip head first into the post. Back inside and the guys take turns hitting Drew in the face until Galloway starts his comeback. Rosemary comes in and almost eats the Futureshock. The Claymore is caught in a chokeslam for two so it’s Janice time. Cue Lashley to spear Abyss by mistake, allowing Galloway to Claymore and Futureshock Steve for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: D+. So Decay is off TV for weeks and then comes back to get beaten in a handicap match? No it wasn’t clean but you couldn’t drag out any two heels for this to work? Or have Lashley knock/choke Drew out for the pin? No apparently the best they have is Drew going over all of them at once because that’s how TNA thinks.

Enough of the World Title though as it’s time to go back to the Hardys. Matt says this must end where it all began, which apparently is the ring in the barn. Jeff goes to get in but Matt rolls outside to a small table. Jeff wants this to end but here’s Reby to throw a fake baby at him. Matt hits Jeff with something made of glass and gives him a Side Effect (IN FREAKING SLOW MOTION) through the table. Matt promises that this will end at Slammiversary.

Overall Rating: D. While still not good, this was WAY better than last week as they actually didn’t focus on just Matt vs. Jeff. This week it was about all three big stories but unfortunately we now have to sit around and watch Matt praise his own brilliance or whatever it is that he’s doing now because no one in TNA will ever tell him no. The rest of the show was more watchable due to more wrestling and less stupid talking but it still was a pretty boring show as TNA runs through what could have been weeks of stories in a night because they don’t have the roster to make anything else work.

Results

Bram b. Lashley via DQ when Lashley used a chair

Eli Drake b. Bram – Clothesline

BroMans b. Rockstar Spud/Tyrus – Adonis Lock to Spud

Gail Kim/Jade b. Sienna/Allie – Package piledriver to Allie

Mike Bennett b. James Storm – Rollup

Drew Galloway b. Decay – Futureshock to Steve

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 17, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re getting closer to Slammiversary and one of the big questions coming out of last week is who is behind the Willow mask. Someone attacked Jeff Hardy last week while dressed as Jeff’s old alter ego in an attempt to take him out for good. Presumably this is the same person who sent Decay after Jeff two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley attacking Drew Galloway a few weeks back. They fight for the World Title tonight but a fight broke out in the empty arena as they arrived earlier.

Here’s Willow to get things going. Josh: “The creation of the imagination of the mind of Jeff Hardy.” After the announcers talk about how Willow has come to life, he cackles about how he’s finally free. Cue Jeff Hardy to ask if Willow loves or hates before hammering away on him.

Jeff Hardy vs. Willow

Some right hands stagger Willow but he comes back with a Twist of Hate. The Twist of Fate puts Willow away at 39 seconds.

Jeff goes for the mask but here’s a bigger (though only average size) Willow to attack Jeff with the umbrella. A third Willow, clearly bigger than the other two, comes down the ramp to say something about giving Jeff his worst nightmare (the audio was very hard to understand).

Post break, Willow takes his mask off to reveal Matt Hardy. Matt talks about how Nero (Jeff’s middle name) got over because of Matt’s genius. A few weeks back, Jeff didn’t finish the job when he took Matt out so now it’s time to put Matt through his own personal nightmare. Matt chokes him out again and we’re finally done. If Matt being Willow surprised you in any way, shape or form, you haven’t been paying attention.

Velvet Sky is in the back where she was supposed to meet Maria. Instead there’s a newcomer named Allie, who is Maria’s bubbly new personal assistant (played by indy wrestler Cherry Bomb). Apparently Velvet is facing Sienna tonight and if she loses she’s fired.

Dixie Carter makes the World Title match a lumberjack match.

Velvet Sky vs. Sienna

Sienna rolls her up for a quick near fall before beating her into the corner. Velvet gets the same result off the same move before a running neckbreaker gives her another near fall. Not that it matters as Sienna puts Velvet on her shoulders for the spinning faceplant and the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D. Well uh, see you Velvet. That was quite the unceremonial ending to her TNA run as this was nothing more than a squash. Sienna is a good monster heel for Maria to hide behind and we’ve already gotten to the point of her character, which is about as simple of an idea as it needs to be. Nothing match here.

Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis are sitting by their pool with Maria getting up and diving in for a swim. After the very gratuitous shots of her, she sits back down with Mike talking about how he wants to be the best of all time in TNA. Maria is going to get some sun and then they’re going to head to the Impact Zone.

Here are Mike and Maria in the ring for a chat. Mike talks about how Ethan Carter III needs his road to redemption and if he loses once, there’s no rematch. Tonight, Ethan has an opponent who has been around the world and is very well known for his black and white. Therefore, get out here EARL HEBNER! Earl comes out and Mike wants to fight him tonight, Hall of Famer vs. future Hall of Famer. Another referee comes out and Mike begs Earl to fight him, eventually getting himself a punch to the face. The bell rings.

Mike Bennett vs. Earl Hebner

One punch drops Earl and Mike takes his shirt off…..for a two count. Yes Earl actually kicked out and for some reason it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen on TNA in months. Earl hits the worst low blow in years but Maria goes after him. Earl actually takes his shirt off, earning himself a boot to the face for the pin at 1:49. I really shouldn’t be laughing at this but it was HILARIOUS.

Post match Ethan Carter III runs out for the save but Mike has an opponent for him. That would be Tyrus, who attacks Ethan from behind, kicking off a last man standing match.

Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus

Last man standing and joined in progress with Tyrus holding a nerve hold. Tyrus goes outside to get a chair but makes the mistake of wedging it in the corner, which means he goes head first into it instead. A trio of Stinger Splashes in the corner don’t do much damage to Tyrus so Ethan avoids a splash in the corner, setting up a high cross body. Carter hits him in the back with a chair for a nine so it’s time to set up two chairs.

Tyrus suplexes him through them for a close call and it’s table time. Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb and only hits table but still gets up. Ethan grabs a chair but gets sent flying off a suplex. A spike to the neck sends Carter to the floor for an eight and a Big Ending on the ramp gets nine. With nothing else working, Ethan grabs a piece of the barricade but Carter elbows him in the head and drops Tyrus onto the barricade. Ethan puts the steps on him and then beats the steps with a chair for the win at 10:48.

Rating: B-. This was more entertaining than I was expecting as they didn’t bother wasting time with wrestling and just started beating on each other with metal objects. Carter winning was the obvious way to go but hopefully this ends things with him and Tyrus. I know there’s some value in Tyrus as a heavy but he’s really not working as a wrestler, which to be fair is almost always the case with him.

Mike Bennett comes out and looks at Ethan.

Lashley training video.

Jeff Hardy says Matt took his own creation and promises to finish this at Slammiversary.

Eddie Edwards/DJZ vs. Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee

It’s all over the place to start until we settle down to DJZ sending Everett into the corner. A chase on the floor ends with Lee kicking DJZ in the face to take over with a near fall inside. It’s off to Edwards as things break down with Eddie’s Backpack Stunner getting two on Everett. Andrew’s moonsault hits a raised boot and Eddie takes the champ down on the floor, leaving DJZ to hit a jumping DDT for the pin on Everett at 5:13.

Rating: C. The match was fine, albeit completely meaningless. That’s the problem with this division: it’s here one week and then back a few weeks later with one vague story of Helms creating a stable and Edwards fighting against it but there’s very little to care about. The champion has taken a big backseat to Helms and if Helms never wrestles, it’s a big waste of time.

Galloway training video.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake. After calling some people dummies, Drake says he can change the world with this Feast or Fired briefcase. This brings him to his guest tonight, the future former King of the Mountain Champion, Bram. The champ says the briefcase may be dangerous but Drake himself isn’t. That earns him a DUMMY, YEAH as Drake talks about how he’s going to win the title one way or another so Bram could just hand him the title right now. Bram thinks he should just rip out Drake’s throat so Eli leaves. Bram questions Drake’s manhood and a fight breaks out with Bram standing tall.

Ethan wants his match with Bennett tonight but Bennett says there’s one more match for Ethan first. That would be against Matt Hardy next week and Matt is a lot more nuts than when he took the title from Carter in the first place.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging and this is a lumberjack match. They lock up to start with Lashley taking him into the corner until a big boot puts Lashley down. The spear out of nowhere sends Drew outside though and we take a break. Back with Galloway being sent out to the floor before Lashley suplexes him again.

We hit a quickly broken chinlock before Drew starts slugging away, followed by a neckbreaker for a breather. A top rope clothesline drops Lashley but the Future Shock is broken up. Something like a chokeslam gets two for Lashley but Drew grabs the Celtic Cross. The Claymore is loaded up but the lumberjacks pull Drew outside for the DQ at 11:53.

Rating: C+. The match was fun while it lasted but it was clearly just a way to set up a rematch at Slammiversary. You could tell they were going for something screwy as soon as they put the lumberjacks out there and that makes for a less than thrilling main event. Drew vs. Lashley is a good enough match but the story is only hit or miss.

Post match the lumberjacks fight with DJZ hitting a dive to take out a bunch of them. Trevor Lee does the same thing before Eddie Edwards superplexes Everett onto the pile. Bram knees Lashley but Drake hits him in the back with the briefcase. Cue Jeff Hardy to take Eli down but Matt breaks up the Swanton. Bennett throws Drake to the floor but here’s Carter to chase him off, only to eat a spear. Drew gives Lashley the Claymore and flips onto the lumberjacks to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The ending was good but so much of this show felt like it was just sitting around waiting on the Hardys to do more stuff. Matt vs. Jeff is really dragging down what is an otherwise rapidly improving show with some feuds that make me want to see more of the show. The problem is Matt vs. Jeff is by far the biggest story going on and it wouldn’t shock me if they main evented the pay per view. There’s good stuff here but TNA’s standard problems keep holding it back.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Willow – Twist of Fate

Sienna b. Velvet Sky – Spinning faceplant

Mike Bennett b. Earl Hebner – Big boot

Ethan Carter III b. Tyrus when Tyrus couldn’t answer the ten count

DJZ/Eddie Edwards b. Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett – Jumping DDT to Everett

Drew Galloway b. Lashley via DQ when the lumberjacks interfered

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re about a month away from Slammiversary and for the most part the show hasn’t been brought up yet. Save for maybe a mention here or there, nothing yet has been announced. I’m sure you can figure out most of the card by this point though and things are ranging from interesting to not all that great. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about Lashley being the new #1 contender to the World Title.

We recap last week’s triple threat main event with Decay beating down Jeff Hardy so Lashley could get the win and the title shot.

Here’s Jeff Hardy to get things going by calling out Decay. Cue the whole team with Abyss talking about how Jeff’s devotion to the fans have made him weak. Steve says the same things so Jeff thinks the only way you can decay is when you die. “And that’s ok because I’m about to kill you.”

Rosemary implies that they were paid off to take out Hardy (well someone has to pay for that face paint) and that person will reveal themselves at the right time (It’s going to be Matt Hardy. Just save time and say it’s Matt Hardy already. Everyone knows it’s going to be Matt Hardy so just say it’s Matt Hardy and get us to the TLC match they’re going to have at Slammiversary, likely in the real main event.).

For now the brawl is on until James Storm comes out for the save. Abyss is willing to destroy both of them for free tonight. Jeff: “Let’s pretend I’m the weatherman.” No Jeff, I don’t want to pretend you’re a weatherman. It’s something about a charismatic storm after the break.

Tag Team Titles: Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Decay

Decay is defending and this is Storm’s guaranteed rematch since Roode is gone. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Storm for some clotheslines on Abyss before a Sling Blade gets two. Abyss drops Storm though and chokeslams Steve onto him for a near fall of his own. Storm raises a boot to stop a charging Steve and brings in Jeff for a Twist of Fate on Abyss. The Swanton is loaded up but the lights go out and Willow (Jeff’s old character) appears on stage. Gee, I wonder who is under the mask. A double mist from Decay sets up the Black Hole Slam on Jeff to retain the titles at 6:15.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s going to be Matt Hardy. As usual this is one of those ideas that really doesn’t need to be this in depth but TNA feels the need to build up the Hardy vs. Hardy feud, which really should be the biggest story in the history of wrestling because the Hardys are totally huge deals who have NEVER had a major violent feud before.

Remember how we looked at the triple threat match from last week? Well now we’re going to do that again, for the second time in about twenty minutes.

Drew Galloway doesn’t like Lashley.

Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis were at a Smashing Pumpkins concert last week and hung out with the band after the show.

Here’s Galloway for a chat. Drew is sick of Lashley and wants him out here right now. Lashley comes out and we get the traditional exchange of respectful greetings. We hear about how Lashley got into Kurt Angle’s head, which Drew says is Lashley’s game. He’ll try to get inside your head and then break you down physically, but Drew wants to fight tonight. Lashley says we can wait a week and leaves but Drew is going to fight tonight.

Cue Eli Drake to say it’ll never be over between the two of them. Drake is here to win gold and he’s going to win it all, even if he has to learn to do flips and win the Tag Team Titles on his own. Tonight though he’ll take that World Title and it’s time for a fight with a title match starting after a break.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake

Drew is defending of course. Drake starts choking and drops a leg for two before they head outside with Drew firing off chops. Back in and the Future Shock is broken up so Drew settles for a snap powerslam for two. Drake tries to bring in the briefcase but the referee takes it away. Instead it’s the Claymore to the face and the Future Shock to retain the title at 5:42.

Rating: C-. As usual Drake isn’t much beyond competent in the ring but at least we got to hear some of his sweet mic work earlier in the night. I’m really not wild on the World Title being on in the first hour, especially given what is likely going to be happening in the main event slot. This was fine enough though.

Ethan Carter III wants a rematch with Mike Bennett and isn’t leaving the ring until he gets it.

Jade and Gail Kim are in Maria’s office and are going to be facing each other tonight. Maria wants a five star match like the ones that Davey M. guy is always talking about.

Here’s Ethan Carter, who makes sure to soak in some of the cheers before getting to his point. For over two years he was unbreakable, unbendable and unbeatable but now he’s just a man with a vendetta. Therefore, Bennett needs to fetch his wife and get out here to talk business. I’m sure there’s a reason Maria changed outfits between segments. Maria loads up her name but Ethan dubs her Toots McGee and cuts her off.

Mike says he has a huge ego because he was the first man to beat the unbeatable. Ethan wants a rematch right now but apparently Maria has talked to Billy Corgan and there’s a new idea. Apparently Mike has a challenge for Ethan in the form of a road to redemption. We’ll start tonight inside Six Sides of Steel with Ethan facing…..someone.

We look back at Willow distracting Jeff Hardy earlier tonight.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Jade

Jade is defending and Sienna is at ringside. Gail takes it to the mat for an early headlock but Jade comes back with one of her own. A crucifix is countered but Gail counters the counter into an armdrag, followed by an exchange of hurricanranas. They shake hands until Jade gets in a German suplex for two. A cross armbreaker over the ropes has Gail in trouble but Kim sends her outside for a suicide dive. Sienna offers a distraction so Jade can get in a suicide dive of her own, only to have Sienna beat Jade down for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was clear that they were doing the mirroring story, which almost guaranteed the interference for the DQ ending. It’s a really good idea to have Sienna as an enforcer for Maria because no one is going to buy Maria as someone who can beat Gail or even hang with her. There was nothing to the match of course but there was no reason for there to be one here.

Sienna beats both of them down post match.

We go to Al Snow’s Wrestling Academy with a trainer torturing a student, which is how things used to be. Snow rants about how this is now the exception because it’s all about how the young guys get to come in and live their dreams without putting in any effort. Snow wants to be the Donald Trump of wrestling and make it great again, starting with Grado and Shera.

Ethan wants to know his opponent.

Al Snow vs. Mahabali Shera

Snow gets him into a chase around the ring before grabbing a wristlock back inside. They head outside with Snow pulling out a foreign object for a shot to the throat. Pope: “The Sheik just texted me.” That’s only good for two so Snow chokes with wrist tape for two more. The fans chant for Grado as Snow hits the Snow Plow for two more. Cue Grado to break up another foreign object shot, allowing Shera to hit the Sky High for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: D-. What in the world is the point of this story? They really don’t have anything better to do than doing an Al Snow vs. two comedy guys feud? As in that’s how weak the rosters have gotten at this point? I don’t know who this is supposed to be appealing to, but it’s certainly not me.

Jeff Hardy attacks Willow in the back and beats him down. After a break, Jeff is still at it until two more Willows attack him with the third giving him a Conchairto.

Video on Lashley vs. Galloway next week.

Ethan Carter III vs. ???

Inside a cage and the opponent is……Rockstar Spud. Carter hammers away to start and sends him into the cage a few times. Spud gets in a quick shot and chokes with his belt but he still can’t get out. Back in (after Spud looks like he’s being dragged under the bed in a slasher movie) and Carter keeps beating him up until Spud tries a fast climb. Carter is actually kicked off the cage and Spud drops a top rope elbow for two. The beating continues with Spud going into the cage over and over before gorilla pressing him off the top of the cage. The 1%er puts Spud away at 8:24.

Rating: D. Nothing to this one but it was entertaining enough. This was designed to be a squash so it worked on that front, but there’s only so much you can get out of a match with a clear ending and Spud getting squashed on less than an hour’s notice. It’s a cool idea for a story, even if it’s the same thing Sami Zayn did in NXT in 2014. At least they’re copying good promotions this time.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it was almost all about three stories: Jeff Hardy vs. Willow (it’s Matt Hardy), Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett and Lashley vs. Drew Galloway. My problem here is that the weakest of these stories (Hardy vs. Hardy) is getting the most TV time and attention. I wouldn’t be surprised that’s the main event of Slammiversary either, or at least the real main event of the show. This one really didn’t work all that well though and that’s going to be the case until they spread the focus around a little bit.

Results

Decay b. Jeff Hardy/James Storm – Black Hole Slam to Hardy

Drew Galloway b. Eli Drake – Future Shock

Jade b. Gail Kim via DQ when Sienna interfered

Mahabali Shera b. Al Snow – Sky High

Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud – 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 3, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

For the first time in a long time, we’re coming up on a pay per view with Slammiversary airing in June. The big stories at the moment are Drew Galloway wanting to fight Lashley, probably in the pay per view main event, and Mike Bennett being the first man to defeat Ethan Carter III which likely sets up a rematch at Slammiversary as well. Now take all of that and forget most of it because it’s time to put the focus back on the Hardy Boyz. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Lashley attacked Drew Galloway at the gym and beat the champ down. They wound up in an MMA cage and Lashley knocked him down with one punch but couldn’t choke him out. Eventually some other wrestlers broke it up.

We look at Bennett pinning Carter last week.

Mike and Maria come out with the former bragging about being the one man to finally pull something off that no one else ever could last week. No one in the back can beat him and now he deserves to be World Champion. This brings out Jeff Hardy because of course it does, though at least it’s not so he can yell at Matt. Jeff doesn’t think much of Bennett beating Carter because it just makes him a joke. The fans say Jeff is better and a match is pitched for later tonight. Bennett says he’ll go ask Dixie but Jeff cleans house, prompting Mike to say we’ll do it.

Mike Bennett vs. Jeff Hardy

Joined in progress with Bennett slapping on a chinlock. Jeff fights back with an atomic drop and the legdrop between the legs but here’s Lashley to spear Jeff for the DQ at 1:48.

Bennett gets speared as well because Lashley is going to run through the entire roster until Dixie Carter gives him what he wants. Here’s Dixie who is indignant that Lashley wants to be handed a title shot. She makes Hardy vs. Bennett vs. Lashley for the #1 contendership as tonight’s main event with Drew as guest referee.

Rosemary asks Crazzy Steve is he’s ready for his transformation. He certainly is so she spits something into his mouth. Abyss takes off his mask and gets the same treatment. The stuff seems to burn both of their faces.

Here’s Decay for a chat. Rosemary talks about the team taking the titles from the people’s heroes last week and their transformations. Steve can now speak and talks about how Rosemary has changed him. Rosemary talks about how many people have tried to control Abyss, including his father and brother. Now though he can show his true self, which means he wears paint instead of a mask. Abyss says he’s beautiful and the fans seem to agree. Cue James Storm to say he’s a cowboy who drinks a lot of beer. It’s time for a fight and Decay is quickly dispatched. We’re not done yet though as Storm wants Abyss right now.

Abyss vs. James Storm

Joined in progress as well with Storm getting in a baseball slide to take the brawl outside. Rosemary and Steve go after Storm but neither draws a DQ, likely because of plot convenience. Storm fights back inside with his shots to the face and a bulldog for two. Abyss gets the same off a chokeslam but Storm puts him back down with a Sling Blade, setting up a top rope elbow for another near fall. Steve’s mist doesn’t work but Abyss’ blinds Storm so the Black Hole Slam can put him away at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This was what you would expect and the right ending with Abyss getting a win to confirm the Decay’s new power. I’m starting to like the stuff they’re going with after a long time of feeling like they were just another goth gimmick. If nothing else it’s actually getting more mileage out of Abyss which continues to astound me.

Maria wants Dixie to look at some papers. Jade better be smarter than Gail Kim was.

Jeff Hardy is more concerned about winning the title tonight than Matt.

Here’s Maria to call out Jade for a chat. Maria sees Jade’s star on the rise but thinks she needs to just hand over the title now because Jade wouldn’t be anywhere without her. Jade says no so Maria brings out her friend Sienna to fight the champ. Sienna throws her around to start but Jade gets in a few kicks. They head outside with Jade being sent hard into the steps. Back inside and Sienna gives her something like a spinning Big Ending to leave Jade laying.

Bram says he’s been called a lot of things and now he’s being called champion.

And now, in case you haven’t heard enough talking yet, we have a sitdown interview with Ethan Carter III. Well at least we would if he was here but Bennett comes in to say that Ethan is missing because he’s scared. Tonight he’ll get his title shot no matter what.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake vs. Andrew Everett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Jesse Godderz

Bram is defending in a King of the Mountain match, meaning you have to get a pin to become eligible to hang the title. If you pin someone, they’re sent to a penalty box for a minute so there’s some strategy involved. Jesse and Eli trade rollups to start as Everett hides on the floor with Shane Helms. Bram plants Everett with a powerbomb for the pin to become eligible early on.

Eddie grabs a half crab on Drake but Everett breaks it up for no logical reason. Edwards sends him out to the floor and hits a big dive, only to have Drake get in a cheap shot from behind for a rollup and pin to become eligible. Bram sets up a ladder and gets the belt but Jesse dropkicks him down. Drake slams Jesse but the champ comes back in for a Cactus Clothesline.

Everett misses a moonsault and gets caught in the Adonis Lock for a quick submission to make Jesse eligible. Edwards and Everett brawl to the back to leave us with three people. Godderz goes up but Drake pulls him down and hits him in the head with the Feast or Fired briefcase. He takes too long going up though and it’s Bram dropkicking the ladder down, allowing him to hang the title to retain at 7:25.

Rating: D+. I’m just not a fan of these matches and this didn’t change anything. It’s four guys getting title shots for no logical reason and this week the title is defended in a King of the Mountain match after last week’s title change was in a regular match. Just call the thing the TV Title and get rid of this stupid gimmick already because it’s way more complicated than it needs to be.

Drake tries to cash in post match but Bram gets up and chases him off.

Galloway says he’s had a rough day so he’d love to see Lashley try to put his hands on him.

Matt Hardy sits in the shadows and accuses Jeff of trying to remove him from this dimension. Their war isn’t done.

Before the main event, Ethan Carter III comes out to congratulate Bennett on the win. Carter isn’t like the rest of those people who lost to him over the years and then came out here to complain about it. He accepts this loss but it’s changed him. Bennett needs to go and win that World Title because he wants to take the title back from Mike one day. Carter rants about how the loss made him incomplete and kept him from becoming the best wrestler on the planet. He’ll be back for Bennett soon enough.

Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett

For the #1 contendership with champion Drew Galloway as guest referee. Drew promises to call this down the middle and we’re finally ready to go. It’s a slow start with both guys going after Lashley who easily powers them away. The big guy is sent outside though and Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind as we go to a break.

Back with Jeff still fighting off both guys but eating a powerslam from Lashley. A long delayed vertical suplex, complete with a point to Galloway, plants Bennett. The spear hits Galloway though, followed by Bennett hitting the cutter on Lashley. Jeff dropkicks Bennett to the floor and adds the Swanton on Lashley for no count.

Bennett is sent face first into the steps over and over, followed by a Swanton onto Bennett on the steps. Cue the Decay for no apparent reason to go after Hardy, including a chokeslam onto the steps. Decay leaves so Lashley spears Jeff into the post for a great looking crash. Another spear gives Lashley the pin and the title shot at 14:02.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough at times and I’ll take Decay vs. Jeff over Hardy vs. Hardy any day. Lashley was the obvious winner here and that’s fine but this needed more time instead to really get good. If you take out the commercial and the Decay interference, this was under ten minutes long and that’s really not enough for a big epic match.

Lashley and Drew brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t do it for me as they didn’t even have thirty minutes of wrestling in a two hour show. There was just WAY too much talking on here and even though there was some good stuff built up, you have to actually have something in there instead of just setting up stuff for six weeks from now. I wasn’t feeling this one and the pacing issues really need to be fixed, including less than eight minutes of wrestling in the first seventy five minutes of a show. Big miss this week and that’s not a good sign on the first show of a new taping cycle.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Mike Bennett via DQ when Lashley interfered

Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam

Bram b. Eli Drake, Andrew Everett, Eddie Edwards and Jesse Godderz – Bram hung the title

Lashley b. Jeff Hardy and Mike Bennett – Spear to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This is a special live(ish) episode with some major matches taking place. We have Jeff Hardy returning (as he does every single year after the company gets back from the UK) to go after Eric Young but not for the King of the Mountain Title, as well as Matt Hardy defending his World Title against Ethan Carter III (again). Let’s get to it.

Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title but before the match, Young finds Dixie Carter in the back and yells about how he’s going to destroy the golden boy tonight. The fight starts fast with Jeff trying an early Twist of Fate but Eric bails to the floor. Dixie cuts off the match and says the winner of this is going on to the main event for the World Title. The fans get behind Jeff as Eric pounds away and shoves Jeff off the top for a big crash.

Back in and Eric stomps Hardy in the corner before crotching him again to break up a Whisper in the Wind attempt. A choke out of the corner and a neckbreaker give Eric a near fall but he dives into a raised boot to give Jeff a breather. Another Twist of Fate is broken up as Eric gets crotched, only to shove Eric down and hit the Swanton for the pin at 10:02.

Rating: C-. Just a basic match here but that announcement sealed the ending. You knew they were going to try to get Jeff into the title hunt as soon as possible as they really don’t have anyone else to thrown out there. The match was nothing interesting either but that’s to be expected with these two.

Post match here are Matt Hardy and company with something to say. After the break, Matt says he would have been there to help Jeff but he had to take care of his family. Reby thinks that Jeff is Maxell’s second favorite wrestler and lets him hold the baby. Matt offers his brother a long build towards a Bound For Glory match but Jeff doesn’t buy it. He’ll take that match tonight and counters a Twist of Fate attempt into one on the champ to stand tall.

Earlier today, Eddie Edwards was attacked by the Decay.

Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis promise to destroy Gail Kim and Drew Galloway.

Eddie Edwards says he’s ready to fight Beer Money on his own but they’re willing to join forces with him to fight Decay tonight.

Mike Bennett/Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim/Drew Galloway

The women start but Maria bails to the corner for a tag before anything can happen. Drew comes in and kicks Mike in the face before bringing Gail back in for a few shots of his own. Back to Drew as the announcers talk about the sitcoms airing on POP. Drew tells Bennett to bring it so Maria slaps him in the face.

That just makes Drew chop Mike even faster but he gets pulled off the top for a crash. Maria comes in and tries to keep Drew away from Gail, which goes about as well as you would expect. The tag brings in Gail for Eat Defeat to Bennett followed by a Claymore but Maria grabs a rollup on Gail with a handful of trunks for the pin at 5:07.

Rating: D+. This was a way to get Maria in the ring and at least Gail lost for a change. Of course that doesn’t mean anything because she’s always going to wind up getting the title back for a long reign because TNA thinks she’s the most amazing thing on the planet. The fact that everything Maria says is accurate doesn’t help things either. This division really needs a breath of air and Gail near the top isn’t going to do that any good.

We look back at Lashley turning heel to end last week’s show.

Here’s Lashley in the ring for an interview about his actions last week. He waited a long time to fight Angle because he’s the best and strongest around this company, which he proved last week. So why does he get overlooked for the Drew Galloways and the Jeff Hardys? Politics maybe? Not that it matters as Lashley came after Kurt to prove he belonged here. Lashley has no friends and wants no friends because he needs no friends. However, Josh Matthews is in his ring right now, so Lashley throws him into the corner. Dang I thought they wanted him to be a heel. Pope comes in for the save and gets beaten down as well, which the fans actually don’t like.

That’s their best idea to make him a heel? Have him beat up the most annoying announcer this side of Cole as a Miz fan? As usual, anytime Lashley talks, things go badly for him as there’s no charisma or any kind of an intimidating voice. The idea here is good but the execution was a disaster of course.

The Decay welcomes us to their black hole and promises a third person to fight against Beer Money and Edwards.

Jeremy Borash has replaced Pope on commentary.

Ethan Carter III congratulates Jeff Hardy for getting into the World Title match but Jeff says he’s winning the title for the Creatures.

Decay vs. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money

The partner is Rosemary, which should make for some interesting action. Steve jumps Storm from behind to start but it’s quickly off to Roode for two off a release gordbuster. Abyss comes in to start cleaning house by slamming Roode down, allowing him to chokeslam Steve onto Roode’s body for two. Rosemary gets the tag and hammers away for a bit before Roode avoids a Cannonball from Steve. The hot tag brings in Storm for his chance to clean house but Steve pulls Rosemary away from the double suplex. Instead Rosemary mists Edwards, allowing Steve to get the pin at 7:17.

Rating: D+. This did nothing for me as it was just two teams doing moves to each other for a few minutes until the ending. Decay is an idea but it’s something we’ve seen enough times before that it’s a bit hard to get behind. They’re definitely entertaining and freaky enough to get noticed but losing that title shot a few weeks back crippled their push.

Billy Corgan (You know him. I mean, you all read the internet so you know he has power here. It’s not like we ever need to TELL YOU THAT or anything.) tells Grado that TNA has come to a decision and will let him know the fate of the Feast or Fired case in the ring.

Matt and Reby accuse Dixie of adding Jeff to the match because she’s jealous. This earns them a new stipulation for the title match: no countout and no DQ. Aren’t all triple threats like that already?

We recap the King of the Mountain Title briefcase issue with TNA finally showing the footage of Eli Drake switching the briefcases. This was released on TNA’s Youtube page so of course TNA assumed we had all seen it. Corgan comes out and says it’s Drake’s case but Grado gets a new contract. Oh but it’s going to be above the ring in a ladder match after the break. BUILD THIS STUFF UP!

Eli Drake vs. Grado

The announcers try to figure out what’s on the line here as Drake hits Grado in the back with the ladder. A hard whip sends Eli into the ladder and Grado starts his comeback, only to have Jesse Godderz come out for the save. Cue Mahabali Shera for a save but the heels hit him in the back with the briefcase. Grado goes up the ladder but dives onto the pile for an unnecessary chance. Another attempt at the case is stopped by Drake so Grado takes him down with a huge electric chair, which is enough for Grado to pull down the contract at 7:07.

Rating: C. Ok and now what? Grado is back on the roster after never really being off and they blew off the thing in a ladder match on five minutes notice. This is the kind of stuff that gets on my nerves about TNA: they have all these matches and stories and they blow them off on the live shows to pop ratings but then they go to eternal rematches afterwards because they have nothing left to air. That’s way too hasty and it gets them in trouble a lot of the time.

Eric Young tells Bram that everyone is out to get him so they have to work together.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Matt is defending and we don’t even get big match intros. The challengers beat Matt down to start but it’s Ethan grabbing a rollup for two on Jeff. Carter drops both Hardys and sends them both to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ethan down on the floor after a Side Effect and but Jeff blocks a Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up but here are Bram and Eric Young to pull Jeff down and piledrive him on the concrete. Jeff is taken out as Carter gets back in and hits his Stinger Splash, drawing out Spud and Tyrus for another save.

They’re quickly dispatched though, allowing Matt to kick Ethan low. The Twist of Fate is countered into the 1%er but Mike Bennett comes in (ENOUGH ALREADY!) to chair Carter in the back. That’s only good for two and the Twist of Fate gets the same. Bennett throws Carter to the floor and fights into the crowd with Bennett getting in another chair shot. Matt is ready to leave and shouts at the fans that he’s leaving as champion…..but here’s Galloway to cash in his briefcase as the triple threat is a no contest at 18:30.

Rating: D+. The run-ins were driving me insane here as they took away anything this could have gotten going. The major bright spot here though is that Carter didn’t get pinned. That should be a major moment and wasting it in a triple threat would have been a big waste. I’m really not a big fan of having people added to matches to make them a triple threat but TNA is in love with the idea and that’s what we were stuck with here.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Matt Hardy

The Claymore and Future Shock give Drew the title at 18 seconds.

Drew celebrates with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is TNA’s major TV problem showing its head again: there’s WAY too much being burned off in a single show and not enough over the coming weeks. You could have had Grado vs. Drake announced for next week, Jeff vs. Young go on last (assuming Jeff is healthy enough to compete) and the World Title match at a later date. Instead they threw all that together and didn’t even get a good show out of it. It’s not bad but WAY too much in a single night, which isn’t a good thing.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Eric Young – Swanton Bomb

Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway/Gail Kim – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Decay b. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money – Steve pinned Edwards after mist from Rosemary

Grado b. Eli Drake – Grado pulled down the contract

Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest

Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy – Future Shock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2016
Location: Barclayard Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the final night of the UK tour and also the last night of Kurt Angle’s TNA run. Expect to see a lot about Angle tonight as we wrap up his nearly ten year run with the company with a match against Lashley. Other than that it’s hard to say what else we’ll see here but I have a feeling it’s going to include British wrestlers losing a lot because that’s how TNA keeps the fans excited. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick video on Angle’s final match.

Dixie Carter is in the ring to open things up with the roster and several backstage workers around the ring. She introduces Kurt for his big goodbye and gives him a nice speech without trying to cry. Drew Galloway says he came to TNA for several reasons, including to wrestle the best competition in the world.

Wrestling Kurt is a master class in wrestling and this is a roster that wanted to be professional wrestlers instead of football players or whatever (always get in those shots at WWE guys). Kurt says this retirement has made him better and he’s the luckiest man on this planet. This brings out Lashley to say that while he respects Kurt, it’s going to be a rough last night for him. Lashley thanks Angle for getting him into this business but realizes that Kurt just isn’t ready for tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. Bram vs. Big Damo vs. Will Ospreay vs. Jimmy Havoc

King of the Mountain match with Young defending. This is the reverse ladder match where you have to hang the title above the ring. In order to do that though, you have to become eligible by getting a fall on someone, which also sends that someone to a penalty box for one minute. Josh explains the WAY too complicated rules and finally gets around to actually listing off the challengers. Ospreay pins Havoc with a crucifix and goes up the ladder with Young making a save. Havoc gets out and goes on top of the box for a dive to take out Damo and Bram.

Eric piledrives Havoc onto the steps and gets the easy pin to become eligible as well, sending Havoc back to the box in the process. Bram gets a pin on Damo with the Brighter Side of Suffering a few seconds later, giving us a showdown between Young and Bram over who goes up the ladder. Both guys shove each other off the ladder (allowing Josh to get in even more “playing defense” lines) until Ospreay dropkicks Eric off the ladder as well. Young dives off the top with a neckbreaker to put Will down and hang the title to retain at 6:44.

Rating: D. I’m so glad we had this seven minute gimmick match with all the violence and carnage with Young holding on to the title because that’s what the midcard consists of these days. You kind of knew that they weren’t giving it to anyone new here as they’re likely done after this tour. Above that though, I continue to want to cry every time I see Young and Bram standing next to each other with Young getting the push.

Jeff Hardy will be back next week to deal with Young.

We look back at Angle’s debut at Genesis 2006.

Maria talks to Dixie Carter about Mike Bennett and Dixie agrees to give him a chance. Dixie isn’t as wild on Maria being an asset to the Knockouts without seeing some actions.

Decay video.

Back from a break with Maria and Bennett in the ring with Mike saying this company needs him now more than ever. Angle, who ducked him, is leaving so let’s just name him #1 contender already. Instead it’s Drew Galloway with the Feast or Fired case to say that Bennett needs to actually win something. Bennett is ready to fight and says get Dixie but Drew punches him in the face to start a brawl. Mike is chased off by the threat of a Claymore Kick.

Another Kurt moment saw him winning the World Title at Slammiversary 2007. If nothing else this gives us the sweet tones of Don West.

The Wolves and Angle suck up to each other. Kurt passes the ankle lock on to Richards.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Gail Kim

Kim is defending after Jade attacked her last week. Gail jumps her to start and fires off forearms in the corner but Jade grabs her with something like an AA. That’s it for her offense at the moment as Gail takes her down and puts on a Figure Four around the post. Back in and Jade grabs an Indian Deathlock with a chinlock, followed by a Fujiwara armbar. Gail avoids a missile dropkick and clotheslines her down for two (playing defense according to Josh). Eat Defeat is countered into a German suplex for another near fall. Jade tries a high cross body but Gail rolls through for the pin to retain (of course) at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Well of course Gail retained because if she didn’t, we might have someone other than Gail Kim as Knockouts Champion and that’s just not a world I want to live in. It seems that we’re leading towards Maria taking the title and possibly taking over the Dollhouse because that needs to be a thing for some reason. The match was fine, albeit identical to almost every Gail Kim match in recent weeks.

Video on Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud from last week. Carter gets a shot at Hardy next week on the live show.

Matt is livid about having to defend against Ethan again and claims a conspiracy. It doesn’t matter though as he knows he can beat Ethan again.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Beer Money

The Wolves are defending in this dream match which is so important that neither team gets an entrance. Eddie takes over on Bobby to start and it’s quickly off to Storm who gets taken down for some elbows to the back. Apparently there was no tag in there so Roode stays in, allowing the Wolves to kick both challengers to the floor for a double suicide dive.

Things settle down to Storm working on a waistlock on Eddie, followed by Roode slapping on a chinlock. Eddie can’t get over for a tag so he settles for two off a sunset flip instead. A double hurricanrana drops both challengers and the hot tag brings in Davey as we take a break. Back with Davey putting Eddie in a leg lock and taking Davey down into an ankle lock at the same time.

Beer Money gets to the ropes and everything breaks down, leaving Storm to enziguri Eddie on the top. A hurricanrana drops Eddie to set up a top rope splash from Roode for two with Davey making the save. There’s the double suplex to Eddie but he breaks up DWI. Davey goes up top but dives into Closing Time, only to land badly and tear his ACL, putting him on the shelf for six to nine months. Last Call into a spinebuster gets two on Eddie before DWI gives Beer Money the titles back at 16:14.

Rating: B. Not exactly a classic but it was a really good match that lived up to enough of the hype. It’s always a shame to see someone go down to an injury like that but I can’t imagine it changed much of the match. Beer Money getting the titles back is a good thing as the Wolves are kind of out of stuff to do with them. If nothing else this might let Eddie revitalize the X-Division for a bit.

We see Kurt’s Hall of Fame induction.

Lashley tells Drew that he’s winning tonight.

We also see Mike Bennett getting in Angle’s face and Kurt calling him a punk.

Here’s Grado who claims he has video proof that he was cheated out of his job. Cue Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz to interrupt before the video can be played. Drake talks about Grado getting fired in a fair match and promises to beat Grado with the briefcase until Grado has no idea where he is anymore. Grado gets beaten down until Mahabali Shera comes in for a slow motion save. The villains screw up with the briefcase going off Godderz’s head, allowing Grado to hit Drake with a cutter and steal the briefcase.

Kurt Angle tribute video with various people praising him.

Kurt Angle vs. Lashley

Lashley has that headband on and it’s already distracting. A headlock doesn’t last long so Angle throws him down with some German suplexes. There’s an overhead belly to belly to send Lashley flying again but he drops Angle face first onto the turnbuckle to take over. Lashley chokes away on the ropes but Kurt comes right back with right hands and rolling German suplexes. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Kurt around even more. A bad looking Angle Slam gets two for Kurt and he hits three more German suplexes to set up an ankle lock. They’re not even trying to do anything but the big spots here.

Lashley reverses into a cross armbreaker but Kurt reverses into an ankle lock. That’s reversed as well and Lashley gets two off a spinebuster and spear. Another spear gets another two but Kurt avoids a third and grabs the ankle lock with a grapevine. Lashley hangs on for a long time and escapes before sidestepping a charge, setting up the third spear for the pin at 10:58.

Rating: B-. After all that, it wasn’t even eleven minutes long? The match was fine enough but they weren’t even hiding the fact that this was just a tribute match instead of something really good. I’ve seen Kurt do those same signature spots over and over so many times now that it’s really hard to get excited above them all over again. The match was good and all but nothing special as far as quality goes.

Post match Lashley holds up Kurt’s arm before punching him in the face. Of course it’s a heel turn. It’s ALWAYS a heel turn. Drew Galloway and Eddie Edwards come out for saves but get speared down as well. Ethan Carter III comes out for the staredown but Lashley bails before anything happens to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely the best show they’ve done in a long time and most of that is due to them cutting out all of the nonsense and just having the wrestling carry things. Lashley turning heel is a good idea in theory but TNA currently has three top faces with Jeff Hardy, Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway. TNA relies on the big heel turn way too often as we just had Matt do one about two months ago and now it’s Lashley, who won’t even be the top heel in the company. It’s a good show though and that’s all you can ask for from TNA at this point.

Results

Eric Young b. Will Ospreay, Big Damo, Bram and Jimmy Havoc – Young hung the belt

Gail Kim b. Jade – Kim rolled through a high cross body

Beer Money b. Wolves – DWI to Edwards

Lashley b. Kurt Angle – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2016
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s another special show tonight as we have Lockdown, meaning everything is inside a steel cage, even if the feud might not have warranted that yet. The main event is Matt Hardy defending the World Title against Ethan Carter III in Carter’s rematch after the title was stolen away from him a few weeks back. Let’s get to it.

The opening video explains Lockdown and the main event.

Beer Money vs. Eric Young/Bram

In a cage, like all other matches tonight. They start fighting in the aisle with Storm hitting Bram in the head with a beer. The fight goes inside quickly enough but first up Bram gives Storm the Brighter Side of Suffering on the floor. That leaves Roode inside in a glorified handicap match with Roode down two to one. Bram is quickly taken down though, allowing Roode to hit a Blockbuster on Young. Storm climbs in over the top and sends Bram into the cage ten straight times to drop him off the top.

Beer Money starts cleaning house but Bram breaks up a double suplex on Young. Roode is fast enough to catapult Young into Bram for a top rope crotching, setting up a hurricanrana and a top rope splash for two. DWI is broken up and Eric suplexes Roode down. Last Call hits Young but Bram spinwheel kicks Storm to put everyone on the mat. It’s Beer Money up first with the double suplex on Young, setting up DWI for the pin on Bram at 8:30.

Rating: C. Hopefully this makes Bram and Young shut up for a bit though there’s no reason to assume that’s going to happen. Beer Money continues to be their usual solid selves though they’re really not doing anything other than going on a nostalgia run. The match was fine but I still have no desire to see Young and Bram as a team again.

Madison Rayne has been attacked because this is TNA and they only know about three angles for their female wrestlers.

Here’s Ethan to sit on the steps for a promo. He can’t wait to fight here in foggy old London town because Matt Hardy has tried to do whatever he can to mess with Ethan. Whether it’s having Tyrus interfere or cave Ethan’s head in with a chair, it’s just delaying the reality that Matt can’t beat him. However, speaking of being alone, Ethan needs to talk about Rockstar Spud.

After the Rockstar comes to the ring, Ethan talks about their history and admits that he was wrong. They slowly shake hands and Spud says he’ll always do what’s right. Spud isn’t scared of Matt or Tyrus because he’s Rockstar Spud and no one tells him what to do. This brings out Matt and company to say that everything belongs to him. The Matt Hardy Brand has absorbed the Impact Wrestling Brand and if Spud comes anywhere near the cage tonight, his life will be destroyed. Carter says bring it.

A British man (the unnamed Jimmy Havoc) says Rosemary was his before she was Crazzy Steve’s. They’re good for each other and he’s getting her back.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Gregory Shane Helms in his corner. Tigre grabs a quick rollup to start before nailing Lee in the head to put him down. The champ comes right back with some choking on the bottom rope, followed by a release gutwrench suplex. A quick kick to the head staggers Lee and Tigre sends him into the cage a few times.

Uno gets two off a top rope legdrop between Lee’s legs before climbing up the cage. Lee’s save doesn’t work as Tigre kicks him down, only to dive down with a huge high cross body and an equally large crash. The delayed cover only gets two and Trevor gets up with a knee to the head. The fisherman’s buster retains Trevor’s title at 6:16. Josh: “Tigre just wanted to have that Lockdown moment.” Give me a break.

Rating: C-. You remember those first two times where Trevor beat Tigre with the fisherman’s buster? Well this one was inside a cage. Hopefully this lets us move on to something else as there’s really no point to this feud continuing. I’m assuming Helms either isn’t going to wrestle or will be facing Lee at some point in the future, either of which is only kind of interesting.

Maria runs into Gail Kim and talks about leading the Knockouts. Gail is REALLY QUITE SERIOUS and tells Maria to get in the ring if she wants to be a leader.

Havoc gives Rosemary something which he says will make her remember how they are together. Steve comes up and grabs it, resulting in them staring at each other.

Dollhouse vs. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky/???

Lethal Lockdown meaning WarGames with the fall not being allowed to take place until all six (in theory) are in. Gail and Jade start things off by trading hurricanranas and kicking each other off the cage walls. They collide in the middle and we take a break with no one new coming out yet. Back with Marti Bell joining after a “five minute” (read as over seven) period ends. Marti beats on Gail for a minute until Velvet Sky comes in to even things up. Velvet cleans house for another minute until Rebel completes the Dollhouse, meaning it’s time for weapons.

The Dollhouse starts beating up Velvet in the corner until the clock runs down again. Maria comes out to the apron but shakes her head and decides not to come in. Instead she locks the cage door, allowing Gail and Velvet to get beaten down. Velvet fights back by avoiding a charge in the corner and fighting back with a kendo stick. Gail gets a stick of her own and Rebel is pinballed between forearms and stick shots. Marti makes the save with a cookie sheet, only to have Gail hit Eat Defeat for two on Rebel. Jade’s package piledriver onto a chair puts Gail away at 14:50.

Rating: C. Well that happened. The Dollhouse and the Beautiful People will likely keep feuding because that’s how the Knockouts work. Gail will go on to be serious against anyone who comes into the division, even though nothing new ever comes from it. Maria could be interesting, but this was really just more long than good.

Kurt Angle gives Ethan a pep talk. It turns out that Ethan, who made Kurt’s life miserable, is a fan.

Decay video.

Here’s Kurt with something to say to the live crowd. He talks about having so many great matches in this country, including one last year where he won the TNA World Title. Lashley comes out to say the last year has been in his head, but he’s going to get revenge. He wants to have one more match with Kurt where they tear the roof off the house before he gets his revenge. The fans want Kurt to get the final win but Lashley knows he can win on Kurt’s best day. Kurt wants to go right now but Lashley walks away with a smile.

Eli Drake is in the ring and wants to talk about Odarg the Great. Grado was fired a few weeks back and now he’s running around with a mask and singlet on, trying to hide his identity. Cue Odarg, which Josh thinks is Grado spelled backwards and it’s time for a match.

Odarg the Great vs. Eli Drake

Josh complains about how everyone knows what’s going on and how they have to be stupid and sit through it. This coming from the man who called fans idiots for pointing out plot holes in TNA’s stories. Odarg can’t pull himself over the top so he pokes Eli in the face and goes for the door but Jesse Godderz holds it shut. The mask starts to come off so we pause a bit for Odarg to fix things. Drake slams him down and suplexes Odarg into the cage. It’s still too early to climb out though and Odarg brings him down with an electric chair.

Drake can’t crawl out so Jesse tries to help, only to have Mahabali Shera come out to take care of Jesse. The tug of war causes Drake’s trunks to come halfway down, meaning it’s time to censor stuff. Odarg hits a Cannonball in the corner and very slowly climbs over, allowing Drake to come up the cage. He grabs the mask but Odarg falls down and loses the mask for the win at 6:32.

Rating: D. I still like the story, though could they find a way to not have a guy with a Feast or Fired briefcase lose comedy matches? Grado continues to be one of the few really entertaining things around here right now, even though it might be due to how simple and stupid the story really is.

After his face appears on camera for at least fifteen seconds, Grado covers up and runs off, seemingly more worried about people seeing his bare chest.

Jimmy Havoc gets in Decay’s faces and calls himself hardcore. The beatdown ensues and Rosemary leaves his present (which looked like some kind of a mask) on top of him.

Eli Drake tells Billy Corrgan to have Grado (sans mask) thrown out and that’s exactly what the Harris Twins do.

Mike Bennett can’t believe that people think anything of Drew Galloway because he carries around a briefcase.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy is defending. Ethan draws a line on the mat and it’s time to slug it out. Matt’s chops don’t have much effect but Ethan’s splash hits the cage. It’s time for a chair with Matt getting in some good shots, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up as Matt is sent head first into the chair in the corner. Another Twist is broken up so Matt settles for the Side Effect and a two count.

The champ grabs a chain but walks into a TK3 (TKO) to give Ethan a chance. Tyrus blocks the way so Ethan flips him off, drawing the big man in. Ethan runs the ropes and has a free chance to get out but opts to clothesline Tyrus instead. A Big Ending drops Carter but he’s still able to reverse an attempt at being chained to the cage. Instead it’s Tyrus being chained up but Matt grabs a Twist of Fate for two.

Carter is back up in time to pull Matt off the cage to put both guys down. Matt is up first and hits a low blow, setting up a Twist of Fate with Ethan’s neck in a chair. Of course that’s not enough to finish it so Ethan kicks Matt low to even things up. A slow double crawl towards the door draws out Reby with a hammer but Spud comes out for the save. Then, in the swerve that isn’t a swerve, Spud slams the door on Carter’s head to turn heel and help Matt get out to retain at 11:39.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but it’s ANOTHER heel turn as Matt has to get another minion because he’s this iconic power or whatever line TNA is pushing this week. I do however like the fact that Spud didn’t just align with Carter again because Ethan turned. That’s some nice continuity, but sweet goodness I’m tired of these big heel turns when there are already about four faces on the roster as it is.

Post match Spud gives Carter a Conchairto on the chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t remember the last time I was this uninterested in TNA. I don’t know if it’s Josh being more annoying than Matt Striker could ever hope to be, the constant waiting on Kurt’s retirement match, everyone turning heel or the fact that Matt Hardy is on top, but this show is getting harder and harder to sit through. It’s not that the quality is horrible but I’m having a lot of trouble getting into any of the stories.

Overall this show just wasn’t very interesting. They’re trying really hard to turn Matt into this top level heel and for the life of me I don’t get the appeal. Like, are they really that obsessed with doing Matt vs. Jeff at Slammiversary and/or Bound For Glory? We really need to see that match again in 2016? Not a great show here, but that’s just what happens in TNA these days because they don’t have a roster deep enough to pull this off these days.

Results

Beer Money b. Eric Young/Bram – DWI to Bram

Trevor Lee b. Tigre Uno – Fisherman’s buster

Dollhouse b. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky – Package piledriver onto a chair to Kim

Odarg the Great b. Eli Drake – Odarg escaped the cage

Matt Hardy b. Ethan Carter III – Hardy escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2016
Location: MEN Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in England and Lockdown is in a week (not that TNA has bothered to tell us that just yet of course), likely with the returning Ethan Carter III challenging Matt Hardy in one of the new champ’s first title defenses. Other than that we may have more issues between Matt and Dixie Carter over Jeff Hardy’s future. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Tag Team Title situation with Decay stealing the Wolves’ belts and daring the champs to come get them in a Monster’s Ball this week.

Another recap shows us the ending of last week’s show with Ethan Carter III returning to chase off Matt Hardy.

Ethan comes up to Dixie in the back and says it’s now his mission to take the title back from Hardy. Dixie tells him that the rematch will be next week in Lockdown inside the steel cage. That’s fine with Ethan, but tonight he has something personal to take care of.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Ethan in the arena with something to say. He walked into this company two and a half years ago with a chip on his shoulder and he’s beaten everyone in front of him save for one name. That one man is all that matter to him right now and that is Matt Hardy. The one word that matters right now is rematch and Matt is going to be locked inside a cage with all of Ethan’s rage and vengeance.

Right now though, Ethan’s fists need to start punching someone and he can’t think of anyone better than Tyrus. Maybe Tyrus is breast feeding Maxel Hardy but get out here right now and fight. Tyrus comes out to say Ethan doesn’t want this. However, Tyrus thinks Ethan is afraid to be alone and he got to a new level with Tyrus. They were close enough for Tyrus to call him boss, but now Tyrus knows everything about him. Ethan asks if Tyrus is done and now the brawl is on.

Tyrus takes over and punches Carter up the aisle, only to be sent into the barricade a few times. This brings out Matt for the double beatdown and it’s time for a chair. Ethan fights both of them off though and cleans house with a chair. Matt issues the challenge for the tag match later tonight.

Here are Eric Young and Bram with something to say. Young asks if there’s anyone in the crowd tough enough to take his King of the Mountain Title from him. One person who certainly won’t be doing it is Jeff Hardy, but this brings out Beer Money. OF COURSE IT BRINGS OUT BEER MONEY because we haven’t had this story go on long enough yet. Storm accepts the challenge and we’re ready to go.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. James Storm

Young is defending and gets taken down in a hurry with Storm sending him into the corner. Storm gets sent to the floor though, allowing Eric to take over back inside. An elbow to the face gets two and a neckbreaker gets the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Storm fights up with some clotheslines. Roode intercepts Bram and all four guys brawl to the floor for the double countout at 4:07.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness I can’t stand Eric Young. I don’t remember being more miserable when someone comes on my TV. I get that he’s been around for a long time but this feud with Bobby Roode and now Beer Money I guess has been going on for years now. There’s no reason left for them to fight other than “well they’ve been fighting for a while now.” Find something else for them to do or stop putting them on TV because it’s been old for a long time.

All four fight into the crowd.

Drew Galloway offers to be Ethan’s partner. They have common goals but Ethan wants to stand alone tonight.

Back from a break and THEY’RE STILL FIGHTING. Just put them in the cage match like you know you’re going to next week so we can hopefully end this feud already. We cut away as the fighting continues.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria to discuss the people that have come across Mike so far. Kurt Angle hit him from behind and then ran away. Drew Galloway is stuck with a ticking time bomb called a briefcase. Tonight though, Mike wants to face one of the UK’s own.

Mike Bennett vs. Mandrews

Mandrews takes him down with an early armdrag and we’re already at the first shooting star, only to have Mike raise his knees. We hit the early chinlock for a few moments before Mike flapjacks him for two. Mandrews comes back with a spinning DDT and a standing corkscrew moonsault for two of his own. Bennett crotches him on top and hits a hanging Diamond Cutter, followed by the Miracle in Progress for the pin at 3:46.

Rating: D+. I’m not wild on the Miracle gimmick but at least he looked more dominant for a change. Bennett could go somewhere, assuming he can actually outlive Matt Hardy’s World Title reign. Not much to see here but it’s always fun to watch a pest like Mandrews get beaten down for a bit.

Post match Bennett keeps pounding on Mandrews until Drew Galloway makes the save.

Rosemary talks about leaving the Wolves lying in a pool of their own blood with nothing to wear. Abyss promises that she’ll be the most beautiful woman at the ball. The Decay is in a cage when someone comes up to say he remembers Rosemary. He blows a kiss and says he’ll see them soon. Apparently that would be British wrestler Jimmy Havoc.

Post break and Bennett beats down Galloway and Mandrews in the back.

Odarg the Great (notice the spelling) is coming.

Matt Hardy and Tyrus threaten Rockstar Spud to not be Ethan’s partner later.

We look back at Angle vs. Lashley from last year.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Decay

Monster’s Ball (street fight) with the Wolves defending. They brawl in the aisle to start and the weapons are quickly brought in as we take an early break. Such a stupid WWE move. Back with the Wolves in control and grabbing a ladder. Abyss’ ankle gets caught in the ladder but Rosemary mists Davey to break up the top rope double stomp, allowing Abyss to pelt a chair at Eddie, knocking him down through a table.

Abyss pulls out Janice and before I can type “and he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD”, he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD. That means more violence as Abyss piles up chairs until Eddie gets up for the save, setting up sunset bomb onto the chairs.

Steve and Davey get back in and the champs hit the clown in the back with a chair, setting up a top rope double stomp. Abyss starts cleaning house and brings out the bag of tacks. Pope: “We always think it’s the tacks but you never know!” Yeah Pope we do know, because it’s always the tacks. Eddie kicks Abyss out to the floor, allowing Davey to suicide dive the monster into the barbed wire board. Steve blasts Eddie with a chair off camera and puts his head inside a chair.

Rosemary gets in the ring to break up something like a Conchairto though as she pours the tacks (yeah they were tacks, because they’re always tacks) onto Eddie’s head first. The Conchairto misses though because of course it does, allowing Eddie to use Janice to knock a chair into Steve’s face. Richards kisses Rosemary (there’s some sexual assault for you) but it’s a trick to suck the mist out of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s brilliant or ridiculous. Whatever they call Chasing the Dragon onto the chairs puts Steve away at 14:33.

Rating: C+. Much like almost everything else on this show, I’ve seen this so many times before. Like I said a few times here, you knew it was going to be tacks because it’s always tacks. You knew Abyss was going into the barbed wire board because he always goes into the barbed wire board. Finally you knew Janice wasn’t hitting anyone because it never does. The match is still entertaining, but they haven’t changed the formula in so long that it’s beyond stale. Oh and thanks for coming Decay. Can we just release Steve now?

Spud offers to be Ethan’s partner but Ethan still wants to do it alone.

Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs. Jade/Marti Bell

Speaking of things we’ve seen time after time. It’s a brawl to start with Marti scoring off a Samoan Drop to Kim, followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two. Gail gets beaten down a little more until Jade runs into a boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Madison as everything breaks down. Jade’s dive is broken up by Gail’s forearm, allowing Madison to roll Marti up for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. So? The feud is just going to continue because the Dollhouse has the numbers advantage and for some reason they’ll beat everyone down and re-establish dominance that they lose again the next week because they almost never win anything. I’m sure a former Beautiful People member will make the save and set up a six Knockout cage match that only TNA’s hardest of hardcore fans will find interesting because that’s how the Knockouts work.

Post match, the Dollhouse beats down Gail and Madison until Velvet Sky makes the save. Velvet wants Lethal Lockdown next week.

Mahabali Shera is back and has a new friend in Odarg the Great, who says he’s a good guy. It’s clearly Grado as the mask is similar to Vader’s old style.

Eric Young/Bram and Beer Money are still fighting in the back. Pope: “They’ll get tired in a while.” The villains finally start walking away but Beer Money tells the cameraman that they want a cage match next week. So I’m supposed to care about a ten minute match after they just fought for over an hour?

Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake vs. Mahabali Shera/Odarg the Great

Well he was coming an hour ago, then he appeared and now he’s having a match. He even comes out to Grado’s music and doing Grado’s strut, though he’s billed from Parts Unknown. Pope even gets in a Midnight Rider reference as the match begins without a bell that I could hear. Shera drop toeholds Drake down and ties Eli’s arms up to make him do the dance.

Jesse has some better luck by taking Shera to the mat and setting up something like a Demolition Decapitator. Back up and the hot tag brings in Odarg to clean house as everything breaks down. A Sky High gets two on Jesse as Drake goes after the mask. Odarg pulls it off instead and rolls Drake up (looking him right in the face) for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. Maybe it’s how much I’ve disliked this show but I had a good time with this. I can go with comedy much easier when everyone is in on the joke and they’re just having fun with it. I mean, it’s not like the Feast or Fired briefcase has had strict rules before so this is hardly a stretch. If nothing else it’s the most I’ve ever been entertained by Grado and it gives the talented Drake something to do.

Drake’s shocked look post match is great.

Post break Eli wants Grado at Lockdown but Odarg comes up to say he’ll be Drake’s opponent.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus vs. Ethan Carter III

Handicap to start. The fans are doing this awkward wave to Carter’s music and it’s really not working. Tyrus starts for the team but gets knocked back into the corner for an early beating. A t-bone suplex sends Carter flying though and we take a break. Back with Matt dropping a middle rope elbow to Ethan but Rockstar Spud comes out to be Carter’s partner. Ethan scores with a clothesline but stays in to fight Matt as the fans want Spud. A dropkick puts Matt down and the hot tag brings in Spud who actually doesn’t turn on Carter.

There goes the bowtie but Spud beats on Tyrus instead, allowing Matt to take him down with something like Big Show’s Final Cut. The Heart Punch puts Spud down but Tyrus misses a charge in the corner, allowing Spud to grab an Underdog. The real hot tag brings in Carter to face Hardy as everything breaks down. Ethan dives at both guys but they fail to catch him, leaving Carter to crash in an ugly looking landing. Back in and the Side Effect gets two on Ethan, followed by a Twist of Fate to Spud. The 1%er puts Matt away at 12:54.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but I don’t buy the idea of Spud being fine with Carter less than a year after everything that happened. If there’s one thing TNA does well, it’s remember continuity like that so, as predictable as it might be, I’m kind of hoping Spud turns on Carter next week.

Overall Rating: D. This show got better in the second hour but the first hour was one of the least interesting (which is far different than worst) offerings from TNA that I’ve seen in a long time. It showcased so many of their problems: acting like WWE, setting up someone like Decay and then having them lose in their first big match and above all else, a bunch of stuff that we’ve seen before. That’s where TNA loses me: I really have no interest in seeing the same tropes that they’ve covered just a year or so ago. This got better later on, but it really had nowhere to go but up.

Results

James Storm vs. Eric Young went to a double countout

Mike Bennett b. Mandrews – Miracle in Progress

Wolves b. Decay – Brainbuster onto a chair to Steve

Odarg the Great/Mahabali Shera b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – Rollup to Drake

Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Matt Hardy – 1%er to Hardy

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