Monday Night Raw – May 31, 2021: Half And A Better Half

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s Memorial Day, meaning we might be in for a huge show or it might be one that has absolutely nothing because no one is going to be watching. The main event is Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston to crown a new #1 contender to Bobby Lashley, though that was the case last week as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get the annual Memorial Day video.

Jimmy Smith is introduced as the newest member of the broadcast team and we run down the card.

It’s time for MizTV, featuring the return of the un-undead Miz. After the usual intro, Miz talks about how he was hurt in THAT match….but he isn’t sure why John Morrison has garlic around his neck. Morrison says he isn’t going to take any chances with Miz, so he also has his Drip Stick, which is a hand held liquid spraying cannon. Miz: “I love you.” Anyway, Miz knows that it is time to start giving back to superstars, like his first guest this week: Charlotte. After asking about the garlic, Charlotte says that Rhea Ripley has had her time and it’s time to get rid of her.

Cue Ripley, who tells Charlotte to go to h***. Morrison asks her favorite garlic bread recipe to ensure that she is not a vampire but Ripley gets to the point, promising to retain the title against Charlotte. Miz brings up Ripley not being able to beat Nikki Cross in two minutes last week.

Cue Nikki Cross, with Ripley saying she would have won if she had four minutes, but Charlotte says she could do it in one. Cross slaps her and the challenge is accepted. Ripley sounding like a kid with excuses for why she didn’t win and Morrison’s supernatural stuff got annoying in a hurry here and it was all to set up a one minute match after the break? No wonder this show has timing issues.

Charlotte vs. Nikki Cross

Two minute time limit, despite Charlotte saying she could do it in one. Charlotte is sent outside to start and Nikki switches places with her to burn off some time. The chase is on, with Cross hiding behind Rhea Ripley on the floor. Back in and Charlotte hits a knee to the ribs with thirty seconds left. Cross hits a tornado DDT and time expires at 2:00.

Riddle and Damian Priest are ready to go back on the road so Riddle asks him for some Spanish lessons. Randy Orton pops up (Has he always had that mustache?) and, after complaining about the RKO last week (Riddle: “I just kind of hit it out of nowhere.”), says if they’re going to do this tag team, they might as well do it right. Riddle can come be at ringside for Orton vs. Xavier Woods. Riddle gets way too excited so Orton shushes him, prompting Riddle to lock his mouth shut and hand Orton the invisible key. Orton throws it away and leaves, meaning Riddle goes to look for the key. The invisible one.

Randy Orton vs. Xavier Woods

Riddle is here with Orton, who gets chopped into the corner to start. Orton drops him onto the turnbuckle though and they head outside, with Orton slamming Woods face first onto the announcers’ table. A belly to back drop onto the table makes it worse and Riddle is writing notes on his hand because he can’t talk.

We take a break and come back with Orton holding a chinlock but Woods fights up with an enziguri. A discus forearm gives Woods two and he hammers away in the corner. That’s countered into a powerbomb of all things for two but the hanging DDT is broken up. Instead, Woods hits a Codebreaker on the arm and grabs a Fujiwara armbar. Riddle is VERY relieved when Orton makes the rope and now the hanging DDT can connect. Woods grabs a backslide for two but Orton comes back with the Bro Derek for the pin at 8:49.

Rating: C. Orton was trying a few different things here and the ending was a cool thing to see. Riddle and Orton continue to be the most entertaining thing on this show, assuming you can ignore the invisible key level of stuff. Woods has been doing rather well on his own as of late, though I’m not sure where this is leading for him.

Post match Riddle poses in front of Orton, who can’t bring himself to do his own pose.

We recap Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald, the latter of whom keeps costing her matches. This is the dumbest thing going in wrestling today.

MVP brings a new group of women to have some fun with Bobby Lashley (in an orange suit).

Reginald tells Nia Jax he has this, despite her being worried.

Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald

Reginald has to flip away from Baszler to start and even manages a slam to put her down. That’s too far for Baszler, who starts in on the leg to put him in trouble. Baszler stomps on the leg and cranks on it a bit, setting up the ankle lock. That’s broken up and Reginald hits a spinning crossbody, setting up a one legged moonsault. Reginald has to land on his feet when Baszler moves, so the Kirifuda Clutch goes on. Then fire comes out of the corner and Reginald rolls her up for the pin at 4:16 (ignore Baszler’s shoulder being off the mat).

Rating: F. So that just happened. The two time and longest reigning NXT Women’s Champion just lost to Reginald, a comedy character who has a job because he used to be in a circus, because an evil doll made fire come out of the post. This is the latest example of me thinking that WWE is actively trying to troll its fans.

Reginald escapes to the back and gets hugged by Nia Jax.

Drew McIntyre isn’t happy with not beating Kofi Kingston last week. He needs to change his way of thinking, to the point where he has put having children on hold to become WWE Champion again. Maybe one day he can have a Little Drew to teach about Scottish folklore, but for now, he is ready. Tonight, he’s ready for Kofi, like he was ready to beat Brock Lesnar, unlike Kofi.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Lucha House Party

During the entrances, Mace and T-Bar promise to make House Party extinct. T-Bar sends Lince Dorado into the corner to start but a quick choke lets Gran Metalik come in with a splash off of Dorado’s shoulders. Mace comes in for a spinwheel kick to the face and a kind of rough looking suplex drops Metalik again. Everything breaks down and Mace plants Dorado on the floor. T-Bar kicks Metalik out of the corner and a double chokeslam is good for the pin at 2:48. To say Mace and T-Bar did not look smooth here would be a huge understatement, as they seemed ready for a major injury on almost every move.

Alexa Bliss invites Reginald to her Playground.

Here is Sheamus for a chat. He talks about how many people have come up short against him, but that is as close to being champion as they are going to get. We see a clip from last week with Sheamus attacking Humberto Carrillo but Ricochet came in for the save. Sheamus calls that SCUMBAGGERY, which is why he hasn’t defended the title since Wrestlemania. He’ll fight both of them back to back though, and then they can go back to catering where they belong.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Non-title. Ricochet starts fast by sending him outside but a dive is countered into a toss into the barricade. Back in and a top rope clothesline turns Ricochet inside out….and here is Humberto Carrillo for a distraction so Ricochet can get the rollup pin at 1:17.

Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Non-title and joined in progress with Sheamus stomping away at Carrillo in the corner. Sheamus runs him over with an ax handle to the head and pulls Carrillo off the ropes for a crash back down. Carrillo fights back but walks into the Irish Curse to cut that right off. We hit the reverse chinlock to keep Carrillo in trouble but he’s back up with a few chops.

A shot to the nose busts Sheamus open a bit so he clotheslines Carrillo hard to the floor. Sheamus kicks Ricochet in the face for a bonus but the distraction lets Carrillo hit a suicide dive to send Sheamus into the announcers’ table. Back in and Carrillo’s high crossbody is countered into a swinging release Rock Bottom. Ricochet offers a distraction though and Carrillo gets a rollup for the pin at 4:58.

Rating: C-. One of the first lines from commentary told you everything you need to know about this story: “The impossible has happened. Ricochet has pinned Sheamus.” These matches aren’t about elevating Carrillo and Ricochet, but rather making Sheamus look like he slipped on a banana peel (so we could have our third rollup via distraction of the night). I’m rather glad to see Ricochet and Carrillo getting a chance, but this isn’t doing them any long term good.

Eva Marie talks about taking time away from WWE to learn some more about herself. Now she is back because she knows what it takes to get here. She wants to help others now, and the Eva-Lution is coming.

Corey Graves is nearly moved to tears by Eva Marie. Graves: “No, you’re crying.”

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Lana/Naomi

Natalya and Tamina are on commentary. Lana takes Dana down to start so Naomi can come in for a legdrop. A bulldog drops Dana again but it’s off to Mandy, who gets caught in a fireman’s carry Stunner. Everything breaks down and Naomi hits a slingshot corkscrew dive onto Dana. Lana rolls Mandy up for two but gets caught in the corner with a shoulder to the ribs. A fireman’s carry/Samoan drop combination finishes Lana at 3:52.

Rating: F. This was bad and I’m not sure how else to describe it. They weren’t hitting their moves, they weren’t timing things well and the selling was awful. Featuring these same teams in matches every week or two isn’t making them better, but rather reminding us of just how bad they really are. Keep in mind that this is all in the name of giving Natalya and Tamina some competition, because the women’s tag team division just has to exist.

Bad Bunny was on a show with Lebron James and discussed his love of wrestling.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Cedric Alexander

Shelton start fast but Cedric pokes him in the eye. The Neuralizer gives Cedric the pin at 28 seconds.

Elias tries to fire Jaxson Ryker up. Elias: “Have you ever been in battle?” Ryker: “Have you ever been in battle? Because I served in Iraq.” End of segment.

Kofi Kingston doesn’t appreciate Drew McIntyre suggesting that having a family could hold back your career. He respects everything Drew has done over his career but he can’t respect that kind of a cheap shot. Tonight, he’s going to beat Drew and then show him how to do what he hasn’t been able to do in three months (Kofi: “Though it feels like three years.”): beat Bobby Lashley.

Tag Team Titles: AJ Styles/Omos vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias

Ryker/Elias are challenging with Elias jumping AJ to start. A snap suplex sets up a knee drop to AJ’s head but Ryker tags himself in. AJ manages to send him outside and we take a break. Back with Ryker grabbing a chinlock but getting caught with a Pele for the breather. Ryker goes over for the tag…but Elias drops to the floor. Omos comes in and gets to clean house as Ryker is wrecked. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes for Styles at 9:52.

Rating: D+. And there goes another team, as it seems we might be getting a Ryker face push. Why that would be conceived as a good idea is beyond me, but does it matter at this point? Maybe this is just something for Memorial Day, but the idea of breaking up another team in the already barely alive division seems like a really bad choice.

Nia Jax tells Reginald to be careful with Alexa Bliss. She’ll have the champagne on ice though.

Post break Elias is running from Ryker, who he has has lost it. Ryker is a veteran and an incredible athlete but he is unpredictable. The idea of traveling the roads with him makes Elias sick and he’s done.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Reginald as the guest. Shayna Baszler pops up to beat Reginald down, but Alexa Bliss says Lily doesn’t like her. Baszler says this is becoming a problem and she needs to have a “chat” with Bliss. They can see each other next week. Baszler tells Lily that she is just a stupid doll.

The Viking Raiders give Mansoor some advice. Mustafa Ali comes up to say don’t trust anyone around here. Mansoor asks why he should trust Ali, who says Mansoor is getting it.

Bobby Lashley and MVP are having a good time with the women but get interrupted for some questions. MVP talks about how he doesn’t really care who wins tonight, because neither is taking the title. They can’t be at ringside anyway, so they’re going to have some fun.

Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

The winner gets the title shot against Lashley (who, along with MVP, are barred from ringside) at HIAC. Kingston has a Green Ranger look here, because he can make something like that work. They start fast with Kofi grabbing some rollups for two each, earning himself a chop into the corner. Back up and Kofi manages to knock him outside, setting up a springboard trust fall as we take a break.

We come back with Kofi hammering away in the corner but getting knocked down again. A suplex gives McIntyre two but Kofi grabs a guillotine, which is countered into a suplex which is countered into a small package to give Kingston two. Some running forearms in the corner rock McIntyre but he snaps off a belly to belly suplex.

There’s a second suplex but Kofi counters a right hand into the SOS for two. Drew heads outside so Kofi goes onto the top of the post for the trust fall. That’s pulled out of the air though (because you can do that) and Drew sends him over the barricade as we take a break. Back again with Drew getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and cranking on both arms at once. With that broken up, a frustrated Drew takes him to the top but gets reversed into a powerbomb.

Kofi’s middle rope dropkick connects but Drew gets creative with a swinging Futureshock for two. A spinebuster gives McIntyre two more and a superkick gives Kofi the same. Kofi goes up top but Drew hits the choke throw superplex. The Claymore is cut off by Trouble In Paradise for a very close two as Drew grabs the rope. Kofi sends him to the floor and hits the standing double stomp from the apron. Back in and Kingston goes up again but gets Claymored out of the air for the pin at 22:40.

Rating: B+. I really, really liked this one as you had McIntyre wanting to get back to the title match but Kofi was staying on him every step. You could feel Kofi’s efforts to get back to the main event because it has been a pretty long time. This worked very well as a result and they had a heck of a match with a clean finish to send McIntyre to the pay per view. That needs to be his last title shot, but at least he got there in a very good way.

We get a post match handshake and here are Bobby Lashley and MVP for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If I could, I would split this into two different ratings, with the main event being its own section. That match felt like it was from a totally different company, as it was entertaining, well put together and didn’t have nonsense included. That’s what sets it apart from the rest of the show, which was mostly junk.

The biggest problem on Raw is everything but the wrestling. Between the bad creative, horrible storytelling, badly scripted promos and everything moving at such a slow pace, there is only so much anyone can get out of it. There are times where it feels like they are actively trying to make a bad show and that can get really old in a hurry. Some of the parts of this show felt like a joke that got way out of hand but WWE keeps running with it anyway. That has been the case for years now and it has taken a pretty serious toll.

But then there is the main event, which was about as good of a match as you’re going to get on Raw these days. It had none of the nonsense that dragged the rest of the show down and that was so nice to see. McIntyre and Kingston proved that the talent is there and if you cut off so much of the nonsense and bad ideas, Raw could be a totally watchable show. The rest of the night was mostly bad (though not entirely), but the main event bailed a lot of this show out. Again.

Results
Nikki Cross b. Charlotte when the time limit expired
Randy Orton b. Xavier Woods – Bro Derek
Reginald b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup
Mace/T-Bar b. Lucha House Party – Double chokeslam to Metalik
Ricochet b. Sheamus – Rollup
Humberto Carrillo b. Sheamus – Rollup
Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke b. Lana/Naomi – Fireman’s carry/Samoan drop combination to Lana
Cedric Alexander b. Shelton Benjamin – Neuralizer
AJ Styles/Omos b. Elias/Jaxson Ryker – Phenomenal Forearm to Ryker
Drew McIntyre b. Kofi Kingston – Claymore

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 17, 2021: The Fine Print Excuse

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re done with Wrestlemania Backlash, where the Raw side featured Wrestlemania rematches with Braun Strowman and Charlotte thrown in, plus Miz and John Morrison being devoured by zombies. I’m going to assume things will pick up from here, but we are now about a month away from Hell in a Cell, meaning it could be rematches a go-go. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania Backlash if you need a recap.

A group of women escort Bobby Lashley into the arena, where MVP handles the introduction. After a look back at last night’s triple threat match, MVP talks about Braun Strowman having broken ribs and Drew McIntyre not being able to get out of bed. On top of that, Lashley did all of that with a bad hand. Lashley has insisted on working tonight so the open challenge (erg) is on. Cue Drew McIntyre to say he accepts but MVP says McIntyre cut him off: the challenge was to anyone OTHER than McIntyre and Strowman. McIntyre knocks Lashley out to the floor, where MVP has to hold him back.

AJ Styles vs. Elias

Omos and Jaxson Ryker are here too. AJ snaps off the dropkick to start but walks into a suplex to send him into the corner. That means some shoulders to the ribs and forearms to the face to put AJ down, setting up a baseball slide to send AJ into the post. AJ clotheslines him outside though and we take a break.

Back with Elias hitting a backdrop and a spinning spinebuster for two, setting up the chinlock. Elias stops to pose but then grabs the chinlock again, with AJ fighting up to hit the Pele. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Elias’ jumping knee to the face gets the same. AJ gets in a few shots and gets sent to the apron, where he hits Elias in the head. The Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up but Ryker pulls him down for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match here, with Styles being able to get decent out of anyone. AJ and Omos seemed to be faces here, which would not be the worst idea. Then again, it was a match involving Elias and Ryker so being the more popular ones is not exactly a heck of a trick.

Post match Omos stalks Ryker to the back as Elias gets to pose.

Johnny Gargano is ready to defend the North American Title against Bronson Reed inside a cage tomorrow on NXT.

We look back at Randy Orton getting the pin in a tag match last week and the laying out New Day with RKO’s after the match.

New Day got Riddle’s message (via pigeon mail) about how there is a snake to see them (and no, it wasn’t a hallucination). They run into Randy Orton, who was told to come here to see Adam Pearce. It seems that we have a Riddle ruse, because he wants them to be a foursome. Orton isn’t going to apologize though, which Kofi dubs as “a reptile dysfunction.” Orton vs. Kofi is set for tonight. Riddle tries to calm Orton down but gets shushed again. These two are solid silver together.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground, which is now a talk show. The guests are Tamina and Natalya, with the latter talking about how special it was to win the titles. Tamina wants to leave but Bliss has a question: what is their favorite color? Pink for Natalya and black and blue for Tamina, which would look good on Bliss if she tries anything. They have a rematch with Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler tonight, but Bliss would rather talk about Lily collecting the wings of dead insects. The champs leave.

Angel Garza vs. Drew Gulak

Rematch from two weeks ago when Garza won and then violated Gulak with a rose. Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS to start but gets pulled into a quick abdominal stretch. That’s broken up so Garza hits a reverse slingshot suplex, with Gulak landing on his feet. That earns him a basement dropkick as Gulak is rocked early. A delayed butterfly backbreaker sets up the Wing Clipper to finish Gulak at 2:10.

Post match Garza puts the rose in Gulak’s mouth.

R-Truth (hey he’s still here) is trying to hide because he has an Open Challenge tonight. Actually it’s Bobby Lashley, which Truth thinks means Ricky Bobby. He’s a lot happier that it isn’t him, but Akira Tozawa runs in to roll him up for the title. Truth: “THE TURNTABLES HAVE TURNED!”

Eva Marie is a supermodel who wants to be a super role model. The Evalution is coming.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Xavier Woods and Riddle are here too. Orton’s headlock doesn’t last long as Kingston knocks him to the floor. Back in and we hit the armbar to keep Orton in trouble, as Woods talks about how the legend is beating the Legend Killer. Kingston hits whatever he calls the middle of the ropes Vader Bomb for two and goes back to the arm. Orton is back with some choking on the ropes and we hit the chinlock in a hurry. Kofi fights up with a chop but walks into the powerslam to put him down again. Woods is right there with the trombone solo to distract Orton though and Kofi grabs the rollup for the pin at 5:07.

Rating: C-. These two are always worth a look, even if that look ends with another lame distraction finish. I’m curious about where this feud is going though, as they are actually making Orton and Riddle into a team (for the moment at least) rather than people doing something to set up a feud. That’s interesting, and hopefully it continues to be so.

Post match the staredown is on with Riddle shoving Woods down.

Naomi and Lana and Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke aren’t happy with Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler getting an automatic rematch. Charlotte comes in and says she needs to talk to Sonya Deville alone, so there goes everyone else. She wants her title match but is told she has to beat Asuka tonight. Cue Rhea Ripley, to say she would love some new competition. Staring ensues.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Tamina/Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Baszler and Jax, with Reginald, are challenging. Jax runs Natalya over to start and it’s off to Shayna to work on the arm. That’s broken up and the hot tag brings in Tamina to clean house. Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch….but here are Alexa Bliss and Lily for the evil laugh. Then fire shoots out of a post to burn Reginald (who was three feet away). The distraction sets up the Hart Attack to finish Baszler at 3:04.

Rating: D+. This was just an excuse to get Alexa and Lily out there, meaning there wasn’t much to see. I can go with the rematch being burned off if they just had to do one, so it isn’t like there is much to complain about. The match didn’t have time to do anything when so much of the match was spent on Bliss and a demonic doll with fire powers.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Rematch from last night’s Kickoff Show. Before the match, Sheamus complains about Ricochet stealing his hat and coat after losing last night. In the back, Ricochet puts on said hat and coat and mocks Sheamus’ accent before coming to the ring. Sheamus knees him in the ribs in a hurry and sends Ricochet into the corner. The armbar goes on as commentary argues about Ricochet being a thief. They head outside with Sheamus sending him into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a Dublin Smile. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two but Ricochet catches him on top. A super Spanish Fly connects (with Sheamus coming up grabbing his knee) for two and Sheamus can barely stand. The springboard clothesline in to the running shooting star gives Ricochet two more but his Lionsault hits knees.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the ropes, setting up a jumping neckbreaker. Ricochet goes up top so Sheamus rolls outside, meaning it’s a high crossbody to drop him again. Back in and a springboard 450 gives Ricochet two more but Sheamus knees him out of the air….for two. Dang that was a good false finish. The Brogue Kick finishes for Sheamus about ten seconds later at 13:26, making me wonder if that knee was supposed to be the finish.

Rating: C+. I was buying some of those near falls, even if it’s disappointing to have Ricochet lose again. If nothing else though, it’s great to see him getting on television for a change, because that has not been the case nearly often enough. At the very least, it is nice to see some fresh faces on the show, which certainly have been missing as of late.

Post match Sheamus says his other shoulder feels empty, so he might be coming for Lashley’s title tonight.

Mace and T-Bar do their best Ascension impression, saying one of them is coming for Lashley’s Title tonight.

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Asuka starts fast with the hip attack against the ropes but Charlotte elbows her down. A legsweep sends Charlotte to the apron for another hip attack. Charlotte gets in her own legsweep….and here is Rhea Ripley as we take a break. Back (with Ripley watching at ringside) with Asuka fighting out of a chinlock but getting chopped back down.

A pinfall reversal sequence goes nowhere as Charlotte takes her down into a figure four necklock. Asuka tries to fight back but gets kicked in the face for two instead. Natural Selection and the Asuka Lock are blocked so Charlotte elbows her in the face for two. A super Spanish Fly misses and Asuka hits a missile dropkick for her own two.

Asuka pulls her into a kneebar and then a triangle choke, with Charlotte reversing into a Boston crab. That’s broken up and Asuka pulls her into the Asuka Lock. Charlotte makes it to the rope for the break and they head outside, with Charlotte getting distracted by Ripley. Back in and Asuka rolls her up for two, allowing Charlotte to go for the Figure Four, which is countered into a small package to give Asuka the pin at 16:40.

Rating: B. That is probably Charlotte’s best match since the return as they were working out there. It’s nice to see Asuka getting a win, though it felt more like Charlotte lost than Asuka beating her. This is going to set up Charlotte vs. Ripley for the title somehow, as that is the match they have been wanting to do since last year’s Wrestlemania, hopefully with Ripley getting her win back. For now though, very good TV match.

John Morrison is mostly fine after last night’s zombie attack, even though they haven’t been to a dentist in months. Miz may never be the same though, and tonight’s match is dedicated to him.

Damian Priest vs. John Morrison

Lumberjack match, including Nikki Cross making her return at ringside. Priest strikes away to start and Morrison realizes he can’t escape. After some stomping in the corner, Morrison finally escapes to the floor where he sends Akira Tozawa inside. A flip off the apron doesn’t get Morrison very far and we take a break.

Back with Morrison stomping away and hitting a running knee to the face for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Priest fights up and hits a Dominator into a DDT. The lumberjacks get in the fight on the floor, including Cedric Alexander diving onto Shelton Benjamin. Priest superplexes Morrison onto the pile for the big crash (with Morrison landing hard), followed by a super hurricanrana back inside. Hit the Lights finishes Morrison at 12:06.

Rating: C. Now let it be done for good between Priest and Miz/Morrison. This has been going on for about four months now and it is way past the point where it should be finished. Priest wins again and there is nothing left for them to do against each other. The lumberjack stipulation felt like a way to make up for last night and the lack of zombies helped a lot.

Post match Priest says he might accept Bobby Lashley’s open challenge.

Eva Marie wants to be a hero people can look up to.

Shelton Benjamin doesn’t want to talk about Cedric Alexander, so here is Cedric Alexander. Cedric talks about how Shelton is worthless….and gets dropped with a right hand.

We look back at the opening segment.

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. ???

Lashley is defending against…..Kofi Kingston? Never mind actually, as MVP says he never said this should be a title match.

Bobby Lashley vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title and Kofi jumps him at the bell, earning himself a spinebuster for two. Some knees to the head get Kofi out of a delayed suplex attempt, followed by three straight one footed dropkicks to the floor. There’s the big dive over the top to drop Lashley and we take a break. We come back with…..a clip from earlier tonight, with Drew McIntyre answering the open challenge. Now that they have covered that it was not going to be a title match, we get back to the ring where Lashley knocks him into the corner and choked on the rope. Now the delayed vertical suplex connects for two and we hit the waistlock.

Kofi fights up and hits a DDT for two, setting up the Boom Drop. Lashley pops back up for a Downward Spiral but Woods offers a trombone concert. That’s enough of a distraction for Kingston to hit a top rope DDT across the top, sending Lashley head first into the apron. Back in and the SOS is countered into the spinning Dominator. Lashley takes him outside for a posting so Woods yells a lot, earning himself an ejection. The distraction lets MVP load up the cane but here is Drew McIntyre to take it away and hit Lashley. Kingston grabs the rollup pin at 10:50.

Rating: C. I can always go for Kingston fighting his way through a match, even if the ending is likely to set up McIntyre vs. Lashley again rather than Kingston vs. Lashley II. TO be fair, that isn’t much of a pay per view match, but it is something fresh after months of Lashley vs. McIntyre. We’ll probably get a Kofi title match on Raw, but I can’t picture it going much further than that. Kofi getting the shot was certainly surprising and there were worse options, though it wasn’t exactly exciting.

Overall Rating: C-. This was not a great or even very good show, as it still had a bunch of the nonsense that has dragged Raw down for weeks (if not longer). The Lily stuff is annoying and the World Title picture continues to feel repetitive and Priest vs. Miz/Morrison somehow continued, but this was a HUGE upgrade over recent weeks. This was a case where the show was better just because it didn’t have nearly as much bad, and for Raw that is an improvement. They have a long way to go, but this was a watchable enough show and didn’t have anything too terrible (or at least nothing terrible and long). I’ll take that these days.

Results

AJ Styles b. Elias via DQ when Jaxson Ryker interfered

Angel Garza b. Drew Gulak – Wing Clipper
Kofi Kingston b. Randy Orton – Rollup

Tamina/Natalya b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Hart Attack to Baszler

Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick

Asuka b. Charlotte – Small package

Damian Priest b. John Morrison – Hit The Lights

Kofi Kingston b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – May 10, 2021: Magic Tomatoes!

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 10, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania Backlash and that means it is time to push the rest of the card forward in a big way. There are currently two Raw matches set for the pay per view so in theory we are going to need some more stuff announced tonight. You can probably guess those matches from here and now we get to see how dull they can make the show that announces them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Bobby Lashley beating Braun Strowman and then getting Claymored by Drew McIntyre. As a result: Lashley vs. McIntyre this week.

Opening sequence.

Charlotte/Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke/Asuka

Jax powers Mandy into the corner to start so Baszler can choke with the boot. Baszler grabs a standing armbar and takes Rose down without much effort. Asuka comes in and dropkicks Baszler down, with Mandy and Dana dropkicking Shayna and Nia to the floor. After Reginald backflips off the apron…..here is Alexa Bliss on her swing with Lily next to her.

Bliss is here to watch someone and we take a break. Back with Charlotte holding Rose in the Figure Four necklock and then Jax coming in to power her around even more. Rose slips over and makes the hot tag off to Brooke, who gets to clean a bit of the house. Baszler backbreakers her down….and then her knee gives out. It starts shaking and Baszler kind of collapses, allowing the legal Asuka to come in with the Shining Wizard for the pin at 8:40.

Rating: D. Oh boy we could be in for a long night. So the evil doll is now using magical powers to go after Baszler’s leg? Does this count as another story for Nia Jax? Anyway, this is not exactly looking like a great night and the fact that Rhea Ripley was barely mentioned here does not exactly give me hope. It was a bad match and the ending was even worse, which isn’t even that much of a surprise.

Post match Charlotte drops Asuka as Alexa laughs a lot.

Riddle scooters up to New Day in the back and talks about how RKBro is in the process of registering to be an official team. That’s better than AJ Styles and Omos, who aren’t even a real team. Randy Orton comes up and the three of them talk about how great it was when Orton got hit with tomatoes. Orton doesn’t seem to agree but finds the idea of ending careers and kicking people in the head funny. Violence is promised for later.

MVP comes in to see Braun Strowman, who tells him to get out. Strowman isn’t interested in talking business but MVP says that Bobby Lashley would rather lose the WWE Title to Strowman instead of Drew McIntyre (not that he’s losing of course). Tonight, if McIntyre would happen to get hurt, that would leave us with Lashley vs. Strowman on Sunday, with no McIntyre to interfere. Strowman doesn’t like MVP, but seems interested.

We recap Damian Priest beating John Morrison last week thanks to some botched Miz interference. Priest vs. Miz is set for Wrestlemania Backlash.

Priest is in Adam Pearce’s office when Miz and Morrison come in. Morrison seems to blame Miz for the loss last week so a deal is offered: the winner of Priest vs. Morrison tonight gets to pick the stipulation for Miz vs. Priest. Miz doesn’t seem happy, but Morrison knows tonight calls for a light shower of Johnny Drip Drip.

Jinder Mahal is back with Veer and Shanky (formerly Indus Sher in NXT) and is ready to get back on the throne.

Jinder Mahal vs. Jeff Hardy

Rematch from last week’s Main Event of all things and Veer and Shanky are with Mahal. Hardy gets taken down and stomped a lot to start before a suplex puts him down again. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Hardy fights up and hits his spinning mule kick to escape. A middle rope ax handle connects and Jeff gets to take his shirt off but the Twist of Fate is countered into a jumping knee to the face. The Khallas finishes Hardy at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s still Mahal. He has a good look and the eyes look crazy intense but it’s the same boring person who is still one of the all time worst WWE champions. I understand why WWE insists on pushing him but throwing him out there with a pair of lackeys isn’t going to be the big saving grace for his career. Mahal is technically fine, but he’s so uninteresting.

Charlotte, who changed clothes in a hurry, comes in to see Sonya Deville.

Elias and Jaxson Ryker have tomatoes (yes, really) but AJ Styles and Omos come up to ask why they’re doing this. Elias loads up a song but AJ says we’re just going to be more serious. Omos crushes a tomato to prove his point.

RKBro/New Day vs. AJ Styles/Omos/Elias/Jaxson Ryker

Riddle tries an armbar on Elias to start but the rope break is good for an early save. Ryker comes in and gets kicked down by Riddle, which just seems to fire Ryker up even more. Omos tags himself in so Riddle goes after him, only to be shoved down in a hurry. A kick to the ribs is flipped away so Kofi comes in, only to get headbutted down. Orton comes in to try his luck and then rolls outside in a smart move as we take a break.

Back with Riddle getting knocked into the wrong corner for a stomping. Elias elbows him down and Ryker drops an elbow for two. Riddle fights up and gets over to Kofi to pick up the pace, with Woods coming in a few seconds later. Kofi tags himself back in for a high crossbody for two on AJ and it’s already back to Woods. AJ takes him down and hands it back to Ryker to hammer away in the corner. The chinlock doesn’t last long but Ryker plants him with a spinebuster for two.

Elias’ swinging suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Woods’ back. Woods fights out of that just like it’s a chinlock and the hot tag brings in Riddle to clean house. Omos makes a fast save and knocks Riddle out of the air with most of a right hand. Woods dropkicks AJ through the rope and New Day grabs an AJ leg each to run in a circle. Back in and Orton hits the RKO to finish Elias at 14:08.

Rating: C-. That is pretty easily the best thing on the show and it wasn’t really that good in the first place. Too much Ryker and Elias here, though Omos continues to look like a monster. Having Orton be scared of him meant more to him than anything he has done to New Day so they are doing things right with him. Not a good match, but it was an upgrade after the horrible first forty minutes or so.

Post match Orton hits the RKO on Kofi and Woods as Riddle isn’t pleased.

Rhea Ripley (hey she’s on the show) comes in to Sonya Deville’s office and gets in a showdown with Asuka. Tonight, they are going to have a match, which Ripley doesn’t seem to like. She saw Charlotte come in here earlier and she knows what that means. Asuka says she has already had a match but she is ready for Ripley anyway. Ripley says game on.

MVP doesn’t like the idea of Bobby Lashley having to beat Drew McIntyre again because it is like a sequel with a foregone conclusion. Lashley promises to win tonight and MVP won’t have any discussion over ongoing negotiations with Braun Strowman.

Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Non-title. Before the match, Sheamus talks about needing to prove his greatness with the Open Challenge, even if it means someone like Adnan Virk, who is way over his head on commentary, gets a shot. Tonight, Carrillo isn’t getting a title shot but he is getting a Brogue Kick to the face. Sheamus forearms him in the back to start but Humberto gets in a kick to the face. A dropkick puts Sheamus on the floor, where he catches a baseball slide and sends Carrillo into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus hitting the forearms to the chest and grabbing a reverse chinlock. An Alabama Slam gets two on Carrillo so Sheamus takes him up top, only to get pulled down with a super hurricanrana. A sunset bomb to the floor connects, even though Sheamus lands on Carrillo’s knee. It’s actually too much and the referee calls it off at 9:10….with Sheamus winning, despite being down too.

Rating: C-. The ending really took away from this one but all that matters is if Carrillo is ok. That was a nasty landing and you could tell that something was wrong in a hurry. Hopefully everything is ok, as I’m not sure where things are going to go otherwise. Assuming Carrillo can do it, I could see this one getting a rematch on Sunday, though I’m curious to see where Mansoor fits into this, assuming he does.

Video on Lucha House Party. They’re Lucha Lit.

Eva Marie wants to prove herself so she is back where it all began. Coming soon.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Cedric Alexander

Cedric flips around to start but the threat of Paydirt sends him outside. Shelton takes him back inside where he gets caught with a dragon screw legwhip, meaning Cedric can start in on the knee. Benjamin manages to reverse into a modified Sharpshooter so Cedric goes straight to the rope. With Shelton being knocked to the floor, Cedric loads up a dive but runs into a jumping knee to the face. Back in and Paydirt is countered into a rollup, followed by the Neuralizer to drop Benjamin. Cedric takes WAY too long trash talking though and walks into the exploder suplex for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: C. The ending was a bit of a surprise, but then again I’ve long since given up on believing the idea that Alexander is ever going to get a push on his own. I’m not sure what WWE doesn’t see in him, if nothing else as a good hand in the ring. Shelton isn’t likely to get a push either, but at least the match told a story. A short story, but a story nonetheless.

We recap Angel Garza kicking a rose, uh, up Drew Gulak.

Gulak interrupts Garza’s photo shoot and asks if he is going to be serious. Garza doesn’t seem to mind and threatens to do it again, if they have a next time.

Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

Non-title. Ripley drives her up against the ropes to start but has to duck a shot to the face. A standoff lets Ripley stick out her jaw for a free shot, only to have Asuka sweep the leg. Ripley blocks a drop toehold into the corner and then has to go to the ropes to block a cross armbreaker. They head outside with Ripley getting in a shot of her own….and here is Charlotte for a distraction so Asuka can hit a spinning backfist.

We take a break and come back with Charlotte on commentary as Ripley steps on Asuka’s back. Some clotheslines drops Asuka again but she sends Ripley outside. The knee off the apron has Ripley in trouble but she blocks the Asuka Lock back inside. Asuka is knocked outside where she glares at Charlotte, allowing Ripley to nail a headbutt.

Back in and Riptide is countered into a Codebreaker for two. Ripley heads outside to yell at Charlotte, allowing Asuka to hit a hip attack off the announcers’ table. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Asuka two but the hip attack in the corner is pulled out of the air. Ripley kicks Asuka in the head and hits Riptide for the pin at 12:15.

Rating: C. I’m really not sure what it means when I’m relieved that Ripley got a win. The title reign has been a near disaster for her, as Ripley has gone from being the brand new big deal to playing third fiddle to these two (and maybe even fifth fiddle to Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss). It will help a bit if she retains on Sunday, but it isn’t going to matter if we just get another Charlotte story out of the whole thing.

Here’s the same video on Lashley vs. Strowman which opened the show.

Drew McIntyre isn’t worried about Braun Strowman tonight because he’s moving on to Wrestlemania Backlash to get the title back.

John Morrison vs. Damian Priest

Miz is here with Morrison and the winner picks the stipulation between Miz and Priest on Sunday. Priest starts fast with a side slam but Morrison kicks him in the ribs. Morrison can’t pull him quite into a rollup so he hammers away instead. A spinning knee to the face gives Morrison two and we hit the chinlock. Miz turns into a cheerleader, making it clear that in fact, drippin ain’t easy.

Back up and Morrison misses a charge to wind up on the apron, where Priest misses some kicks to the head. Morrison hits his own kicks, but Priest is right back with a pop up forearm to the face. The rope is grabbed for the break and Miz pulls Morrison to the floor for a chat. Miz and Priest tease a brawl and we take a break. Back with Priest being knocked outside again, where Miz gets in a big boot.

Morrison adds in a few kicks to the ribs for two, followed by a Russian legsweep for the same. We hit a neck crank (like Morrison is loading up a neckbreaker but just pulls instead of dropping down) but Priest escapes and hits his own kicks to the head. The Broken Arrow gives Priest two, followed by the top rope spinwheel kick for the same. Miz offers a distraction so there is no count when Morrison grabs a crucifix. Instead Priest hits a clothesline and Hits The Lights for the pin at 12:57.

Post match Miz runs in to go after Priest but he breaks away, sending Miz running. Another Hit The Lights plants Morrison and Miz is terrified. No stipulation is announced yet.

Bobby Lashley and Braun Strowman bump into each other in the back.

Eva Marie talks about looking like a supermodel but wanting to be a role model.

Priest picks a lumberjack match.

Backlash rundown.

Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre

Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. It’s a brawl to start but Lashley can’t get an early Hurt Lock. Instead he snaps McIntyre’s throat across the top and grabs a neckbreaker for two. Some choking on the ropes keeps McIntyre in trouble until he gets in a shot to the face to take things outside. McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly and we take a break.

Back with Lashley puling McIntyre off the middle rope for a crash, followed by the Downward Spiral for two. We hit the chinlock but Lashley’s suplex attempt is countered into one from McIntyre. Lashley runs him over again though and they head outside with McIntyre being posted this time. Back in and McIntyre sends him flying into the corner, followed by a pair of belly to belly suplexes.

There’s a jumping neckbreaker into the nipup and the Glasgow Kiss rocks Lashley again. MVP is panicking as McIntyre grabs a spinebuster for two. Lashley is back with a crossbody but the Hurt Lock is blocked. Instead Lashley suplexes him down, only to walk into the Claymore. Cue Braun Strowman to jump McIntyre from behind for the DQ at 13:27.

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a big clock over the ring here, counting down until Strowman ran in. There was little drama here and the WWE Title match at Wrestlemania should not feel like a tired match thirty days after the show. This feud has been a nightmare for everyone involved, including the people watching it, and this was the latest boring piece added onto the top.

Post match, Strowman gives McIntyre a running powerslam, followed by one to Lashley for daring to hug Strowman. Another powerslam plants McIntyre, and another sends Lashley through the part of the barricade designed for destruction. A third powerslam plants McIntyre to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This show felt so lazy. You had two Wrestlemania rematches tonight, and both matches were designed to make me see two triple threat matches on Sunday, albeit with Charlotte and Braun Strowman added. Throw in that the other Raw match is a stripped down version of the big tag match from Wrestlemania and this doesn’t feel so much like Wrestlemania Backlash, but rather Wrestlemania’s direct to video sequel with the same plot slightly dressed up. In no way does this make me want to see Sunday’s show, but rather it just makes me think there is nothing to the Raw half of the pay per view.

You know what else makes this show look bad? Smackdown, which also has three matches set, but all of them are fresh matches. It makes me think that they are trying over there, which is a heck of a lot more than I get watching Raw. There is nothing here to make me think that Raw is going to be a good show week to week, and that is leaving out the magic and tomatoes. Raw is just horrible at the moment and the mixture of lazy and bad is striking. There were a few minor pieces in here that worked, but the repetitive storytelling and uninspired build have made me want to watch a test pattern instead of Backlash. Do better.

Results

Asuka/Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke b. Charlotte/Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Shining Wizard to Baszler

Jinder Mahal b. Jeff Hardy – Khallas

RKBro/New Day b. AJ Styles/Omos/Jaxson Ryker/Elias – RKO to Elias

Sheamus b. Humberto Carrillo via referee stoppage

Shelton Benjamin b. Cedric Alexander – Exploder suplex

Rhea Ripley b. Asuka – Riptide

Damian Priest b. John Morrison – Hit The Lights

Drew McIntyre b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when Braun Strowman interfered

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Monday Night Raw – May 3, 2021: Better Than 1990 Andre

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 3, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania Backlash and after last week, the Raw main event will be a triple threat match for Bobby Lashley’s WWE Title. The change came as Braun Strowman defeated Drew McIntyre, who was already challenging, to earn a title shot of his own. The show could use some more building this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Strowman being added to the Backlash title match.

Opening sequence.

MVP, Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are in the back when Drew McIntyre and Braun Strowman come in to yell at each other. Pearce flips a coin to decide who faces Bobby Lashley tonight, with Strowman winning. MVP tells Strowman to not be too confident.

Here are AJ Styles and Omos for the first time since Wrestlemania. AJ is happy to be back and it is time for Omos to throw New Day around again like they did a few weeks ago. They have spent the last few weeks in the Caribbean (or in Nigeria, as they said on the Bump) having a good time, which didn’t include throwing tomatoes like New Day.

Cue the New Day to interrupt, with Kofi Kingston saying he wasn’t sure if AJ and Omos still worked here. But hey, well done on having some time off, which is what New Day did for years. There is a reason that they are eleven time Tag Team Champions: they keep getting back up and win the titles back like clockwork every single time. Kofi talks about how he won the WWE Title at Wrestlemania in front of thousands of people with his kinds there with him. He worked so hard to get there, but now AJ and Omos have won one match and they took a month off. Omos cuts them off and promises to do various violent things to New Day.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. AJ Styles/Omos

Styles/Omos are defending and Omos throws Woods down to start. Kofi comes in instead and a kick to the ribs is shrugged off with no effort, meaning Omos shoves him down as well. Woods tags himself back in and it’s a double dropkick to stagger Omos, who blasts both of them with a double clothesline. It’s off to AJ for the first time with Woods knocking him outside in a hurry, though Omos cuts off Woods’ attempt at a dive. Instead, Kofi hits the Trust Fall off the top (and lands pretty hard on his shoulder) to send us to a break.

Back with Woods taking Styles into the corner for some stomping and Kingston grabbing a top wristlock. Kofi hits a jumping knee to the face but it’s back to Omos so wrecking can ensue. A not so great looking backbreaker plants Woods and there’s a release Sky High to Kofi. Woods is back up and kicks Omos in the ribs, earning himself a big boot. AJ comes back in and the Phenomenal Forearm off of Omos’ shoulders retains the titles at 11:34.

Rating: C-. This was a similar version of the Wrestlemania title match and that is not the worst thing. Styles and Omos doing the Colossal Connection formula is something that could work for a good while as Styles is a bit better than Haku and Omos is a bit more mobile than 1990 Andre. They needed to get Omos and AJ back after their hiatus and New Day can make them look as good as anyone else.

Charlotte leaves Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce’s office, with Pearce not being thrilled to see her. With Charlotte gone, Pearce tells Deville that she is overstepping her boundaries.

Eva Marie, now with slightly pink hair, is back. She is laying on a car and asking if she has out attention now. Eva says she wants to make things better and be in a place that challenges her, so the Eva-Lution has begun.

MVP says Braun Strowman’s luck ran out with that coin toss. Strowman could eat a bowl of four leaf clovers and find a lucky rabbit’s foot but his luck would still be out. Lashley says no one is taking his title and MVP certainly agrees.

We look back at Damian Priest and New Day interrupting Miz/John Morrison/Elias/Jaxson Ryker’s live performance last week. Rotten tomatoes are thrown.

Elias and Ryker are waiting to throw tomatoes at New Day but hit…..Randy Orton instead. Riddle comes scootering by and I think we have a tag match for later.

Charlotte vs. Dana Brooke

Mandy Rose is here too. Dana snaps off a headscissors to start but Dana gets sent throat first into the ropes. Charlotte boots her down for two and then tosses Dana outside. Back up and a neck snap across the top rope staggers Charlotte and an enziguri rocks her again. Dana manages to send her into the corner for back to back handspring elbows and the Swanton connects for two (with Graves sounding VERY nervous). Another handspring is cut off with a chop block though and the Figure Eight makes Dana tap at 4:13.

Rating: C-. This was about all you could have asked them to do. Brooke has gotten far better in the ring, but Charlotte is about three levels higher than she is. There was no need for this to be anything more than Brooke getting in a few shots but then coming up short in the end, which is all they did. Sometimes that’s the right move and it’s what they did here.

Post match Charlotte won’t let go but Mandy Rose comes in for the save. Cue Sonya Deville, who, after a break, is in the ring as Charlotte talks about how glad she is to be back. However, she needs to be added to the Wrestlemania Backlash title match because she is a big star. Putting her in the title match is going to make it a bigger deal because she is a big deal. She is an influencer and whether you love her or hate her, the division needs her. Charlotte tells Sonya to be fair to Flair, which is enough to get Sonya to add her to the title match.

Cue Rhea Ripley to say this is nonsense and Charlotte shouldn’t be in the title match again for the obvious reason: nobody likes her. Ripley and Asuka have a purpose in the match, but adding Charlotte is unfair. Cue Asuka to say she’s ready for both of the. Charlotte promises to win the title but Ripley gets in Sonya’s face. Charlotte jumps Ripley from behind and the fight is on with Asuka clearing the ring. I don’t think there was any doubt that Charlotte was going to be added, though it almost feels like trolling the fans.

Humberto Carrillo talks about standing up to Sheamus because he is tired of Sheamus bullying everyone. He is going to answer every one of Sheamus’ challenges…and here is Sheamus to jump him from behind. Sheamus says Carrillo won’t be answering the open challenge for tonight.

Adam Pearce yells at Sonya Deville over adding Charlotte to the match. Sonya says she sent him a text message but Pearce didn’t get it. He also doesn’t get why it was a text when they share an office. Sonya agrees and says they’ll make decisions together from now on. WHY ARE WE DOING THIS STORY AGAIN??? Was anyone asking for Sonya Deville (or anyone for that matter) to be back as another kind of maybe evil GM? Pearce was fine enough if you just had to do it, but enough with this nonsense already.

Here are Miz and Morrison, with Miz talking about how ridiculous it was to have rotten tomatoes thrown at them last week. He lists off his resume and says horrible it was last week to be shown so little respect again. Morrison gets cut off as Miz keeps ranting but eventually gets in some Respect from Aretha Franklin. Tonight, it’s Morrison’s turn for some respect.

John Morrison vs. Damian Priest

Miz is here with Morrison. Priest takes him down by the arm to start and then throws Morrison outside as we take a break. Back with Morrison getting two but Priest is back up with a release flapjack for a breather. Morrison ducks a kick to the head and hits one of his own but Priest kicks him into the corner. There’s the running elbow into the hard clothesline for two. A Miz distraction lets Morrison grab a Spanish Fly for his own near fall but another Miz distraction makes the referee miss a small package. Instead Priest Hits The Lights for the pin at 8:53.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t as into this one as I expected and it wasn’t exactly good either. Priest is someone who can wrestle a high impact and entertaining match but putting him in there with Miz and Morrison for this many months isn’t doing him any favors. The win helps of course, but Priest needs to move on to almost anything else.

Mansoor officially signs when Monday Night Raw when Sheamus comes in. Since there is no Humberto Carrillo tonight, he is going to need someone to accept the challenge…..but first he needs to congratulate Pearce for hiring a new assistant. Mansoor corrects him and says he’s a Raw star just like Sheamus. That sounds like fun to Sheamus, so maybe Mansoor can accept his open challenge tonight. Taking a Brogue Kick could be a great way to let the people get to know him. Sheamus leaves and Mansoor seems interested.

MVP doesn’t like that Braun Strowman is part of the Wrestlemania Backlash main event. He sees similarities between Strowman and Drew McIntyre and thinks they might even team up against Bobby Lashley. That’s cool though, and tonight will be a preview of the triple threat match.

Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander vs. Lucha House Party

Joined in progress with Cedric running Metalik over but getting knocked out of the corner for the same. A Michinoku Driver drops Metalik for two and Shelton comes in to work on Metalik’s back. That includes a backdrop before handing it back to Cedric to hammer away in the corner. A missed charge allows the tag off to Lince Dorado and a tornado DDT plants Benjamin. Cedric is sent outside, leaving Metalik to hit the rope walk elbow to finish Benjamin at 4:30.

Rating: D+. This came and went and it felt like it was just thrown out there. There were some moments that made it feel like they weren’t on the same page and it was a pretty cold match anyway. They did keep it short, but it’s sad to see how far Cedric and Shelton have fallen, despite being a completely acceptable team.

Post match, Cedric grabs the mic and says he’s sick of this losing. He and Shelton were Tag Team Champions and then got fired by the Hurt Business. Actually scratch that, as Shelton was the one who got fired. How long has Shelton been here and how many chances has he blown? Cedric is in the prime of his career and he is tired of carrying Shelton, so this team is done. And I’m sure there will be a heck of a story for both of them after this completely necessary split of a totally competent tag team.

Drew Gulak interrupts Angel Garza from delivering a rose and accuses him of not being much of a ladies man. A match is made, with Gulak promises to come out smelling like roses. Garza promises to put the rose somewhere.

Shelton Benjamin isn’t happy with Cedric Alexander breaking up the team. Cedric was in the Hurt Business because Shelton saw something in him, but if Cedric wants to walk away, he’s a grown man. If Cedric doesn’t want to learn from him, that’s his decision.

Drew Gulak vs. Angel Garza

Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS at the bell and dropkicks Gulak down in a hurry. A double underhook backbreaker keeps Gulak in trouble but he kicks Garza down as well. The chinlock is on in a hurry, with Gulak throwing him around with the hold still on. Garza slips out and hits a running clothesline, followed by the Wing Clipper for the pin at 2:18.

Post match Garza…..actually stuffs the rose down Gulak’s tights and gives it a running kick!

Riddle runs into the Viking Raiders and asks if they’re Raiders or Vikings fans. Ivar explains the concept of the team so Riddle scooters on and runs into Randy Orton, who isn’t interested. Riddle says they’re metaphorical bros and Orton begrudgingly asks him to be his partner again. That’s cool with Riddle, who is very excited, until Orton tells him to zip it.

Video on Braun Strowman.

RKBro vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias

Orton hammers on Elias in the corner to start so it’s quickly off to Ryker, who gets poked in the eye. Riddle comes in for a kick to the chest and a Kimura but Ryker powers out in a hurry. Ryker holds Riddle up for the jumping knee from Elias, who stays in to crank on Riddle’s fingers.

A suplex onto Ryker’s knee gets two and Ryker’s suplex is good for the same. Riddle finally gets up for a ripcord knee and the hot tag brings in Orton. Everything breaks down and Elias gets dropped onto the announcers’ table. The backbreaker connects back inside and it’s the hanging DDT into the Floating Bro (with Riddle landing on Elias’ head). Orton takes out Ryker with an RKO as Riddle finishes Elias at 5:13.

Rating: C-. I know this is setting up the big turn between the two of them (I’m still holding out for Riddle to be the one to turn on Orton) but they’re having a decent enough run as a team on the way there. I’m not sure what would happen but these two against AJ and Omos could be interesting. Besides, it’s not like Elias and Ryker are hurt by the loss.

Drew McIntyre doesn’t care who wins between Braun Strowman and Bobby Lashley because he wants them to beat each other up. He isn’t worried about Mace and T-Bar either, because it’s all about Claymoring Strowman or Lashley and getting his title back. Strowman comes in and we get the same trash talk as usual.

Mansoor vs. Sheamus

Non-title and Sheamus and hammers away at Mansoor to start. A rollup gives Mansoor two but Sheamus puts him on the top rope and blasts him outside with a clothesline. Back in and Sheamus fishhooks the jaws (with Mansoor’s eyes bugging out for a cool bonus) before taking him outside for a toss into the timekeeper’s area. Mansoor beats the count and nails some elbows before dropkicking Sheamus’ knee out. There’s an enziguri into a tornado DDT for two on Sheamus, who comes right back with White Noise. Mansoor is put into the corner but here’s Humberto Carrillo to jump Sheamus for the DQ at 4:38.

Rating: C-. I’ve liked Mansoor a bit more almost every time I’ve seen him and this is about as good of a way as they could have had to get out of this. Mansoor is on a huge undefeated streak but it would be a little much to have him beat Sheamus here. Losing via DQ doesn’t mean anything, though the match does suggest that Mansoor is going to be in a big match at the next Saudi show. That’s not the worst idea either.

Sheamus wipes them both out post match.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Alexa Bliss talking about Lily possibly killing people from time to time. A certain someone may have caught her eye but that’s their dirty little secret. Don’t blame her for what happens next. Bliss sings to Lily, but then seems to get scared of what Lily might have done.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Lana/Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Jax and Baszler, with Reginald, are defending with Jax throwing Naomi into the corner to start. It’s off to Lana for a high crossbody for two on Baszler, followed by a Russian legsweep for the same (with Lana smiling a lot on the cover). Jax gets knocked to the floor and the double X Factor plants Baszler (how they beat her a few weeks back). Naomi gets pulled to the floor and Reginald offers a distraction so Lana only gets two. The Kirifuda Clutch makes Lana tap at 2:05. They really need to stop with Lana getting most of the ring time because it isn’t working.

MVP promises that Bobby Lashley will win tonight.

Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

Non-title and MVP is here too. Lashley’s running shoulder to start just annoys Strowman so he clotheslines Lashley outside instead. Back in and Lashley runs Strowman over with his own clothesline but Strowman is right back up….as Drew McIntyre comes out. The distraction lets Lashley take Strowman down again, allowing him to tease an alliance with McIntyre as we take a break. Back with McIntyre on commentary and Lashley choking on the rope.

Lashley keeps hammering away and hitting a running right hand in the corner as commentary brings up Drew McIntyre taking promo classes back in the day. Strowman is back with an electric chair to Lashley (whose eyes bug out when he goes up) but he slips out of the running powerslam. The Hurt Lock is blocked and Strowman hits a sidewalk slam. They head outside with the Strowman Express hitting McIntyre by mistake. McIntyre gets up on the apron and the distraction lets Lashley hit the spear for the pin at 13:12.

Rating: D+. Good night I’m bored with this feud. It’s just three people attacking each other over and over again on Raw, leading up to them all hitting each other at once (and I bet it doesn’t even turn into a paining to Eye of the Tiger). This three way feud has been so dull and lifeless and it needs to wrap up already. Next week is likely going to be McIntyre vs. Lashley because that’s the most obvious and easy thing that WWE could do, which is why I fully expect it.

Announced for next week: Lashley vs. McIntyre.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was rolling along fairly well (not good, but well enough) until they hit that last half hour. Starting with Alexa, this show went flying off a cliff with Alexa’s nonsense, the bad women’s tag and the next step in this painfully uninteresting triple threat. What makes it all the more annoying is the rest of the show was not half bad. They kept things moving and had a lot of stuff happening without focusing so much on all of the bad stuff (with just ONE Nia Jax segment). It’s still a watchable enough show, but you might want to cut it off with half an hour to go.

Results

AJ Styles/Omos b. New Day – Phenomenal Forearm to Woods

Charlotte b. Dana Brooke – Figure Eight

Damian Priest b. John Morrison – Hit The Lights

Lucha House Party b. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin – Rope walk elbow to Benjamin

Angel Garza b. Drew Gulak – Wing Clipper

RKBro b. Elias/Jaxson Ryker – Floating Bro to Ryker

Sheamus b. Mansoor via DQ when Humberto Carrillo interfered

Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax b. Lana/Naomi – Kirifuda Clutch to Lana

Bobby Lashley b. Braun Strowman – Spear

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 26, 2021: I Must Be Adjusting

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 26, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re getting closer to Wrestlemania Backlash and we need a lot of the card set up. I’m not sure what we are going to have added tonight, but odds are we are going to get more of T-Bar/Mace attacking Drew McIntyre as we wait to find out what is going on. Other than that, probably a lot more of the same. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Drew McIntyre/Braun Strowman vs. Mace/T-Bar last week, with the latter two losing their masks.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Drew McIntyre/Braun Strowman

Before the match, we get an inset promo from Mace/T-Bar, still unmasked but with some streaks painted on their faces, promising to take care of McIntyre/Strowman. In the back, McIntyre and Strowman yell at each other over who is in charge (ignore the production worker walking through the back and dropping down because he isn’t supposed to be in the shot). Strowman says he’s going to show McIntyre how to do this himself so we’ll do that instead.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Braun Strowman

better names (like, say, Dominik Dijak and Dio Maddin), they might get somewhere. It isn’t like the tag division is awash with teams at the moment.

Post match Strowman powerslams McIntyre and shouts about that being how McIntyre repays him for last week.

Post break, McIntyre demands and receives a match with Strowman tonight.

It’s time for MizTV with John Morrison back. After plugging his various things, Miz introduces Elias, with Jaxson Ryker as his guests. Miz takes credit for Bad Bunny selling out his 2022 world tour in record time but they didn’t even get tickets. They are the real musicians though and that means it is time for Hey Hey Hop Hop Unplugged.

After a verse or two (allowing me to understand more of it than ever), the lights go out and we have an interruption. He has a surprise of his own, so here is New Day, with Xavier Woods carrying a very large guitar case. Inside though are…..rotten tomatoes, with the flying fruits taking down all four villains. In short, this was dumb.

New Day/Damian Priest vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias/Miz

Ryker takes Woods down to start so it’s quickly off to Elias. A shot to the face has Woods in more trouble and Miz comes in, only to get beaten down in a hurry. The good guys take turns kicking and elbowing Miz down, so we’re off to Ryker vs. Priest for the power battle. Priest knocks him out to the floor so it’s Elias coming back in and getting taken down, followed by a leg sweep to Miz. House is cleaned and a trombone concert….actually doesn’t take us to a break.

Instead it’s Kofi with a high crossbody for two on Elias, meaning Ryker comes back in. Elias breaks up something else off the top though and Miz kicks Kofi down as we take a break. We come back with Kofi still in trouble and Morrison getting in a tomato to the face. Elias adds a chinlock, followed by a clothesline to drop Kofi again. Ryker grabs his own chinlock before handing it back to Miz for the IT Kicks. Kofi finally manages to knock him down and hands it off to Priest (as Woods is missing for some reason).

House is cleaned but Elias escapes the Broken Arrow. He can’t escape a clothesline from Priest for two and the good looking top rope spinwheel kick connects for the same with Miz making the save. Miz gets caught in the Broken Arrow as Woods is back up to come in, only to be kneed out of the air by Elias. Priest is already back in to hold Ryker for Kofi’s missile dropkick and a forearm puts Miz on the floor, setting up the dive.. Kofi pulls Elias off the top and Woods small packages Ryker for the pin at 16:50.

Rating: C-. This was rather long and not that interesting, though what else were you expecting with Elias and Ryker in there? Priest continues to be the guy with the other people and that isn’t exactly a thrilling place for him. I’m curious to see what he can do on his own, but at least he is getting to do his cool stuff and isn’t getting pinned to promote a reality show.

Smackdown’s Sonya Deville is here and….lets Charlotte in. I’m surprised it took her this long to be back.

Post break here is Deville in the ring to introduce Charlotte (who was suspended last week). The referee that Charlotte attacked last week is here too and we see a clip of the beatdown. Charlotte apologizes, which is enough for Sonya. She thinks the suspension was a little hasty so we’ll just forget about it. Charlotte has the referee apologize to her (Charlotte: “Good boy.”) and she will be wrestling again tonight with this referee calling the match. Sonya and Charlotte head to the back and run into an angry Adam Pearce, who doesn’t buy Charlotte’s apology.

Post break, Braun Strowman comes in to see Pearce and talks about how he didn’t lose the triple threat #1 contenders match. That means that if he beats Drew tonight, the Backlash match should be a triple threat, which works for Pearce. Of note: Strowman said every WWE buzzword, including saying that he was still in contention for a WWE Championship opportunity at WWE Wrestlemania Backlash. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS!

Here’s Sheamus to say how much he enjoyed last week’s open challenge where he beat down Humberto Carrillo. He liked it so much that we can have another open challenge, but not for the title. Cue Carrillo, with Sheamus saying he can’t believe this guy is trying again. Sheamus jumps him again and beats Carrillo down, but some shouting at commentary lets Carrillo gets in a few shots of his own. Some dropkicks put Sheamus on the floor and a suicide dive knocks him over the announcers’ table. Sheamus is furious as Carrillo leaves.

MVP doesn’t like jumping to a conclusion about Braun Strowman being added to anything. Tonight, he and Bobby Lashley have some grievances to address.

Rhea Ripley is glad Charlotte is back, but it was fun watching her lose so much money.

Here are Bobby Lashley and MVP for a chat. Lashley is not happy with Drew McIntyre being back like gum on the bottom of his shoe, but now he’ll beat McIntyre AGAIN. Then there is the chance that it could be made a triple threat match, which offends MVP because that’s how Lashley lost the US Title without being beaten. Tonight is important, so Lashley will be watching the main event in person. Perfectly fine promos here.

We look at Riddle beating Randy Orton last week.

Riddle, on his scooter, says he’s on cloud 12 after last week. He isn’t sure what an apex predator is, but he knows that Orton is a viper. Last week, Riddle beat him like a sexy mongoose, but here is Orton to interrupt. Orton: “I don’t know what planet you’re from.” Riddle: “I’m from earth.” Orton: “Shut up.”

Orton says they don’t have much in common (Riddle: “We’re both from earth.”) but he likes the idea of the RKBro team. They have a tag match scheduled for tonight, if Riddle wants it. Riddle is in and thinks they should get matching snakeskin Speedos. Orton shushes him and if it goes well, maybe they can have a chat. He seems to be regretting this already.

We look at Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke messing with Nia Jax.

Nia Jax rants to Shayna Baszler and Reginald about the disrespect. She also doesn’t like Charlotte being reinstated after a simple apology but Charlotte is a spoiled brat, just like Mandy Rose. Shayna complains about Nia being distracted and says don’t let it happen again in their match tonight. With Shayna gone, Nia gets some flowers….from Angel Garza, who wishes her luck tonight. Nia takes the flowers and hits Mandy in the face with them, which leaves Mandy and Dana Brooke…well just standing there actually.

MVP comes up to Braun Strowman and says Bobby Lashley isn’t happy with the idea of a triple threat. Strowman says if Lashley has a problem, come say it to his face, because he’ll be in the main event at Wrestlemania Backlash.

Randy Orton/Riddle vs. Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander

Riddle takes Alexander down to start but a shot to the ribs gets him into the wrong corner. Shelton comes in and it’s time to start in on Riddle’s knee, including some running shots with the leg tied in the rope. The half crab goes on for a bit until Riddle fights up and hits a jumping knee to the face. The hot tag bring sin Orton to clean house, including the RKO to pull Alexander out of the air. Orton drops Shelton with the hanging DDT and the Floating Bro gives Riddle the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. I liked this a little more than I expected to and the idea of Orton vs. Riddle is interesting. Of course they aren’t going to be a long term team, but this is at least a fresh way to set things up. It’s already going better than Y2AJ, but I’m still waiting on the possible RKBro shirts before passing final judgment.

Commentary is stunned that Orton didn’t turn on him.

Rhea Ripley/Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Asuka/Naomi/Lana

Asuka goes after Baszler’s arm to start and even offers it to Ripley for a tag. Ripley passes, but is willing to come in after Baszler knocks Asuka down. Lana comes in to roll Ripley up for two, earning herself a hard headbutt. A dragon sleeper sets up a bodyscissors on Lana, including some forearms to the back for a bonus. Cue Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke, which is too much for Baszler. She goes after them so they throw a bucket of water at her.

Nia comes in and falls down, meaning Reginald has to drag her away like a turtle on its shell. Back from a break with Asuka coming in to hip attack Baszler, who kicks her in the face. Jax plants Asuka with the Samoan drop but misses a charge in the corner. Naomi comes back in with a springboard crossbody and a headscissors driver gets two on Jax. Reginald offers a distraction though and Jax jumps Naomi from behind.

Ripley (hey she’s in this match too) comes back in for a belly to back faceplant, with Asuka having to make the save. Riptide plants Naomi but Lana is legal and comes in off the top with a high crossbody for two of her own. Nia runs Asuka over on the floor as Lana rolls Ripley up for another two. That’s enough for Ripley, who hits Riptide and hands it back to Nia for the legdrop and the pin at 11:36.

Rating: D+. Just over two weeks ago, Ripley was winning the Raw Women’s Title at Wrestlemania. Now she is playing third fiddle to Charlotte and the Battling Bosses, plus Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke trying to humiliate Nia Jax. That has me worried about her immediate future, but hopefully she gets to beat someone up at Backlash to get her a little more attention. She wasn’t much of a focus here, and that isn’t a good sign. I’m not worried about her long term, but Raw’s priorities for the women’s division are rather pitiful.

Post break, Sonya Deville comes up to Mandy and Dana, who shouldn’t have done that. Deville isn’t surprised because Mandy doesn’t take things seriously, so she can face Charlotte next instead.

Alexa Bliss talks about how Lily the doll has been the angel and demon on her shoulder. You can have your own Lily too and it’s really easy. Bliss tells us to look into her eyes and imagine a calm place, like the pond that we see. As we look at the flowers, Lily pops up and screams at us, with Bliss laughing about how she got us. The problem is Lily is bored back here, so it’s time for her to play with the rest of WWE. Lily bites at the camera again.

Charlotte vs. Mandy Rose

Dana Brooke is here too as Mandy flips out of a wristlock to start. Some shoulders in the corner have Charlotte in more trouble but she knees her way out said corner. Mandy is back with a missile dropkick but the referee gets caught in the corner, allowing Charlotte to hit a big boot for two. With Charlotte yelling at the referee about how to count, Mandy hits a knee to the back for two of her own. That’s enough for Charlotte, who plants her with Natural Selection for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D+. This was a weird one as you had Charlotte being annoyed at the referee but nothing really came of it as it’s still Charlotte vs. Mandy Rose. How much extra help should Charlotte need here? There is something interesting about Mandy giving Charlotte a run for her money and Charlotte being a bit nervous about it, but instead we got a weird setup.

Drew McIntyre vs. Braun Strowman

If Strowman wins, he’s in the WWE Title match at Backlash. McIntyre hits a running shoulder but Strowman literally brushes his shoulder off. With that not working, McIntyre takes him down by the leg and drops some elbows, only to have Strowman knock him to the floor. The Strowman Express is loaded up but here are Bobby Lashley/MVP to interrupt as we take a break.

Back with McIntyre getting a sleeper on Strowman but he gets driven into the corner. A jumping neckbreaker gives Drew two so MVP gets up for a pep talk. The Claymore is countered into a powerbomb (in a smooth transition) for two but McIntyre blocks the big forearm to the chest.

There’s a spinebuster for two on Strowman, who catches McIntyre going up top. A superplex gets two on McIntyre and now the forearm to the chest connects. The powerslam is loaded up so Lashley gets up for a distraction. MVP makes the save, allowing Strowman to hit the Futureshock. The Claymore is loaded up but here are Mace and T-Bar for the real distraction. The running powerslam gives Strowman the pin at 13:21.

Rating: C. I don’t know how surprising the result was and that’s ok in this case. I wasn’t wild on McIntyre vs. Lashley II for the pay per view title match so adding Strowman in at least makes things different. They need some fresh blood in the main event scene and while Strowman has been around, he hasn’t been in a spot like this for a pretty long while now. Mixing it up is a good thing and that’s what we’re seeing here.

The three way staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure if it is just being better than the last few weeks or actually having a point but this felt like a better show than they have done recently. You can see most of the Raw half of the Backlash card from here and that is not a bad thing. This show was not exactly good, but it had a point and didn’t have as much horrible so by comparison to the usual shows, we’ll call it an upgrade.

Results

Braun Strowman b. Mace/T-Bar via DQ when Strowman was double teamed in the corner

Mace/T-Bar b. Braun Strowman/Drew McIntyre via countout

New Day/Damian Priest b. Jaxson Ryker/Elias/Miz – Small package to Woods

Randy Orton/Riddle b. Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander – Floating Bro to Benjamin

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Rhea Ripley b. Lana/Naomi/Asuka – Legdrop to Lana

Charlotte b. Mandy Rose – Natural Selection

Braun Strowman b. Drew McIntyre – Running powerslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – April 19, 2021: I Guess That Counts

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 19, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Things should be a bit more back to normal this week as Wrestlemania season is over. That is probably a good thing after last week’s show was not exactly worth bragging about. This time around we have Asuka vs. Charlotte in a match that has been done quite a few times before so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Drew McIntyre to get things going. We get a recap of him winning a triple threat match last week to become #1 contender to WWE Champion Bobby Lashley. After the win, he was attacked by Mace and T-Bar, with MVP looking on in approval. With the recap of last week out of the way, McIntyre recaps last week. McIntyre gets to Mace and T-Bar, but he doesn’t believe that they are the masterminds here. That would be MVP, which has McIntyre wondering if Mace and T-Bar are going to start wearing those nice suits.

Cue MVP, who implies he didn’t know anything about it, causing Drew to mock him for suggesting he didn’t know anything about it. MVP says Lashley is expecting McIntyre to be a worthy challenger at Wrestlemania Backlash. As for Mace and T-Bar, Lashley recently decided to downsize the Hurt Business, so why would he need those two after he already beat McIntyre at Wrestlemania? Mace and T-Bar have ZERO affiliation with the Hurt Business. McIntyre doesn’t seem to buy it but here are Mace and T-Bar to jump him again. The double sitout chokeslam drops McIntyre and the two walk past MVP, who doesn’t really respond.

In the back, Mace and T-Bar talk about….snakes and saber tooth tigers? Sabre tooth tigers are extinct, just like McIntyre will be when they are done with him.

Post break, McIntyre demands Adam Pearce give him Mace and T-Bar tonight. Pearce says get a partner but Drew is going to fight no matter what.

Viking Raiders vs. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin drives Erik into the corner to start and then wrestles him down to the mat without much effort. Alexander comes in for a running dropkick for no count as Erik powers him off in a hurry. Erik gets taken into the corner again and Shelton drops him with a clothesline. One heck of a shot to the face drops Alexander and it’s Ivar coming in to miss the seated crossbody.

Ivar gets taken into the corner and tosses his way right back out. A quick roll over to the corner allows the tag back to Erik, who is taken down with a snappy tornado DDT from Alexander. Everything breaks down, after a Cannonball against the barricade to Benjamin, the Viking Experience (or Viking Express according to Virk, again) hits Alexander for the pin at 5:16.

Rating: C-. The less than dominant performance from the Raiders made sense here as they have only had one match in about seven months. They shouldn’t be able to run over a team who were recently the Tag Team Champions….even though they did last week. So in other words, they did the last two weeks backwards and it already seems like they are running low on teams for the Raiders to beat up.

Randy Orton talks about how the Fiend is gone for good….and here’s Riddle on his scooter. He talks about how neither of them have a title any longer so they can team up and have matching scooters. Orton walks away, as everyone tends to do with Riddle, who is rapidly losing his charm in these segments.

Post break, Orton asks Adam Pearce if he can face Riddle tonight. Pearce will see what he can do. Given how little of Raw tends to be planned out, I don’t think it should take long to get to a decision.

We recap Charlotte returning last week, promising to be totally and completely different this time, then interrupting Rhea Ripley defending the Women’s Title against Asuka last week.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She is tired of the lack of respect from the women’s locker room. Wrestlemania was taken away from her and that just wasn’t fair. She can beat Asuka and Rhea Ripley on the same night, so tonight Asuka is getting taken out as Ripley sees what Charlotte can do.

Cue Asuka and Ripley, with the latter being willing to take Charlotte up on her offer, even though Asuka is beating her tonight. Asuka goes to say something but Charlotte cuts her off and condescendingly reminds her of the Wrestlemania match. Asuka promises to beat her tonight, “b****”. I would pay a good bit of money to come up with any new way to present Charlotte other than the “I’m better than all of you” heel.

Riddle scooters past Randy Orton on the way to the ring.

Randy Orton vs. Riddle

Orton grabs a headlock takeover to start but Riddle flips over into a choke on Orton’s back. What looks like a tap is written off as a slap at Riddle’s head and Riddle keeps the choke on. Orton finally drops back for the break but Riddle pops back up to slap it on again. They roll out to the apron and this time Orton sweeps the leg out to send him crashing outside.

We take a break and come back with Orton hitting the circle stomp. The snap powerslam gives Orton two and a belly to back suplex drops Riddle again. Orton seems to be favoring his shoulder and Riddle strikes away, only to get poked in the eye. Riddle comes back with chops out of the corner so Orton whips him hard into another corner to take him down. The chinlock goes on, with Orton shouting at Riddle in the process. Riddle fights up and avoids a charge to send Orton shoulder first into the post.

The fired up Riddle kicks him down and there’s the Broton for two. Orton catches him on top and that means the superplex (and a nice one at that). Back up and Riddle gets sent to the apron but catches Orton in a triangle choke. That doesn’t last long due to Riddle hanging upside down, allowing Orton hitting the hanging DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Riddle reverses into a crucifix for the pin at 13:33.

Rating: B-. It’s nice to see Riddle getting his momentum back and it isn’t like Orton losing is going to mean a single thing to him. Riddle can do some very good things in the ring and he was getting to showcase that here. Just keep him away from so many of the backstage appearances and we could be seeing something pretty awesome from him.

Sheamus comes in to see Adam Pearce, who talks about the history of the US Title. We hear about John Cena’s US Open Challenge and it seems that we will be seeing it again tonight.

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Lana/Naomi

Non-title. Naomi staggers Nia to start and brings Lana in for a headscissors into a failed Russian legsweep attempt. Lana takes Nia down with a chop block and kicks her in the head for a bonus. It’s off to Baszler to pull Lana to the mat without much effort and there’s the stomp to the arm. Cue Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke to show us a clip of Nia and Shayna laughing at Mandy slipping at Wrestlemania (now off the WWE Network, because reasons), as the match just completely stops for this flashback.

Now we look at Mandy and Brooke attacking Jax, followed by the match later in the night with Jax slipping off the apron. Mandy and Dana ran off to lose the match, but it was funny you see. We come back to the match (yeah that thing that was going on) where Shayna is armbarring Lana. Nia storms to the back and a double X Factor finishes Baszler at 4:17.

Rating: F. Not only did the finish look bad because Lana can’t manage to jump into the air properly, but about half of this match was spent in a flashback to an angle built around someone falling on the ramp in a stadium that had just been soaked by a bad rainstorm. How this is the best thing they can think of at the moment is beyond me, but such is life in WWE for you these days.

Nia is STUNNED that this happened.

We look at Bad Bunny’s Wrestlemania performance.

Bad Bunny, with Damian Priest, talks about how awesome it was. It meant a lot and he was very impressed with Priest. Speaking of Priest, he was impressed by Bunny and we hear about how much respect Bunny received from everyone.

Bunny’s tour is sold out.

Here’s are Miz and Maryse for MizTV, with Miz fawning over his wife. Miz talks about Wrestlemania and last week before taking credit for Bunny’s tour being sold out. The two talk about how much they love each other and this is their big celebration. The pyro seems to shake Maryse as they kiss and it’s time for a champagne toast. Miz hypes up his WWE 24 special on Sunday but here is Damian Priest to interrupt.

We look at Miz being stripped to his underwear, which is totally different than his trunks. Maryse helped Miz cheat to win last week so Priest says a man shouldn’t be happy with that kind of a win. Priest accuses him of not having much to show in his underwear so the challenge is on. Maryse accepts, though Miz isn’t exactly pleased. That’s what Priest wanted so he has some champagne, which he calls trash.

Riddle comes up to New Day in the back and suggests some changes to their gear. The solution: SILVER DOLLAR PANCAKES! Riddle leaves and Kofi Kingston asks if Xavier Woods understood anything Riddle just said.

Here are Elias and Jaxson Ryker but the performance is interrupted again, this time by Xavier Woods on bass.

Kofi Kingston vs. Elias

Kofi starts fast with a rollup for two but gets knocked down. Elias gets distracted by Woods playing Steve Austin’s theme and Kofi hits a Thesz press (which looked to be a mistimed version of his standard double stomp) for some right hands. A delayed vertical suplex gets Elias out of trouble and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. Kofi gets in a shot to the face but gets knocked off the top again. Elias’ clothesline is countered into a rather sloppy SOS for two. This time Elias goes up but gets caught as well, only to block Kofi’s super hurricanrana. The top rope elbow finishes Kingston at 4:42.

Rating: D+. This was a rather messy match but at least it gave Elias one of the biggest wins of his career. Yes his character is pretty stale and he has been doing the same thing for years now, but at least they are giving him a little something to do. Maybe this goes a little somewhere, and right now it isn’t like they have all that many fresh ideas anyway.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground, with Alexa Bliss explaining that Lily has been around for a very long time. We see some photos of Lily around her as a baby (WWE loves itself some doctored photos) and Bliss talks about shoving a kid at the playground so she could eat her ice cream (even if she didn’t like strawberry). When asked, she said Lily made her do it. Lily will let you know if she doesn’t like something so Bliss warns the entire roster. Lily tries to eat the camera again. Oh yeah they’re running with this.

We look back at the women’s tag team from earlier tonight, because OH YEAH THEY’RE RUNNING WITH THIS TOO!

Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke say that they are not the bullies. Yes Mandy slipped at Wrestlemania but it was Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler who kept watching it. Jax and Baszler come in to chase them off but Baszler yells at Jax for costing them the match. Baszler tells her to get better or else. Jax: “Or else what?” Angel Garza of all people comes in to have Jax’s back. So yes, they are still arguing almost eight months after winning the titles in the first place. Also, I would hope that Garza is not being swapped in for Reginald. He’s too good for that.

Drew McIntyre vs. Mace/T-Bar

No partner for McIntyre, who charges at T-Bar and hammers away to start. A kick to the face sets up a battle over a suplex with McIntyre pulling it off for two. MVP is watching in the back as Mace comes in to unload on McIntyre in the corner. Some running knees put McIntyre down and we hit the chinlock….and go to a wide shot to show off the Thunderdome for some reason (ala Vince McMahon in the mid 90s pay per views). Mace suplexes him for two but McIntyre hits T-Bar with a spinebuster for two. The Glasgow Kiss slows T-Bar down but Mace’s distraction lets the double teaming begin, which is good for a DQ at 5:57.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but at least Mace and T-Bar didn’t get pinned right out of the box. It isn’t a win, but they lost because they were beating McIntyre up instead of a result of the opposite. I’m still curious about where this goes, though I have next to no confidence in it going anywhere positive for them in the long term.

Immediately after the bell, here’s Braun Strowman to clear off not Retribution. Load up the tag match.

Braun Strowman/Drew McIntyre vs. T-Bar/Mace

Yeah you knew it was coming as soon as the music hit. Strowman powers out of a headlock to start and then runs Mace over with a shoulder. Drew certainly likes that and Braun forearms Mace down. T-Bar comes in and is pounded down into the corner as well. A Mace distraction lets T-Bar get in a chop block though and we hit the reverse chinlock.

T-Bar knees him in the back and grabs another chinlock but Strowman backdrops his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in McIntyre to pick up the pace, including an overhead belly to belly to Mace. There’s a jumping neckbreaker into McIntyre’s nip up….and there goes Mace’s mask. Commentary doesn’t seem to recognize him as a former member of their family, even as McIntyre hits him with the mask for the DQ at 5:24.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match here but losing the mask might get rid of a little bit of the Retribution stigma. Again, this is better than the team getting pinned, though it still isn’t exactly the best way to make them seem like big stars either. They went with another tag formula match here and that was fine, though it would be nice to see Mace and T-Bar pin someone. Like, ever.

Post match Strowman rips off T-Bar’s mask and knocks him outside as well. The start of non Retribution’s theme sounds like Neville’s NXT music.

Miz vs. Damian Priest

Miz has Maryse with him and goes outside to kiss her to start. Priest pulls Miz back in for a slam and elbows Miz down, but Maryse offers a distraction. That lets Miz hit a big boot and then a running dropkick puts Priest on the floor. Priest is whipped into various things before a neckbreaker gets two back inside.

The YES Kicks fire Priest up though and he blocks a kick with an elbow to the leg. Priest’s running elbow connects in the corner but Miz slips out of the Broken Arrow. Instead, Priest hits a springboard flip dive to take Miz down again. Maryse’s next distraction lets Miz grab a rollup (just like last week) for two, only for Priest to come back with Hit The Lights for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: C-. What matters here is Priest won, but I’m still trying to get my head around the idea of Miz pinning him last week. I’m assuming it was to promote the reality show, but if you can have Priest get the win back the next week, was there really no one else to take the fall? Priest has some major potential and I would love to see WWE realize some of it.

Asuka is warming up in the back and we go to a break in the middle of Virk’s hype for the main event.

Here is Sheamus for the Open Challenge for a US Title shot and we have a challenger.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Sheamus is defending….in theory at least, as he jumps Carrillo before the bell and throws him outside. Graves thinks Sheamus might be mad about the new European Super League as he whips Carrillo into the barricade and forearms him in the chest. Back in and the Brogue Kick drops Carrillo so Sheamus can say Carrillo isn’t in his league. No match.

Asuka vs. Charlotte

Rhea Ripley comes out to watch as Charlotte grabs a headlock. They fall out to the floor in a heap though and it’s off to an early break. Back with Charlotte hammering away but Asuka scores with a knee to the face. A Shining Wizard (leg kick according to Virk, as the completely understandable learning curve continues) drops Charlotte but what looked like a Codebreaker completely misses. Thankfully commentary doesn’t try to hide it as they slug it out from their knees.

Charlotte is up with a spear for two and then heads to the apron. Asuka’s kick to the ribs is blocked and Charlotte wrenches on the knee as long as she can. Back in and the Asuka Lock sends Charlotte to the ropes so she takes Asuka’s bad leg out again. The Figure Eight goes on but Ripley breaks it up, meaning the fight is on. Asuka kicks Charlotte in the arm and crucifixes her for the pin at 9:16, though Charlotte’s shoulder was a bit off the mat.

Rating: C+. I know Charlotte loses here and it seems to set up Asuka vs. Ripley II, but come on. You know Charlotte is getting in that title match because that is what Charlotte does almost every single time. It’s going to happen no matter what and it wouldn’t shock me to see her win the title again. I would certainly hope not, but it isn’t like it would be unprecedented.

Post match Charlotte yells at the referee and beats him down, even continuing as other referees come out to yell at her.

Overall Rating: D+. I went back and forth on the overall rating as this was a huge upgrade from last week but they are doubling down on so many of the repetitive/dull/stupid ideas. Riddle is still getting way too much time, Mace and T-Bar didn’t exactly look dominant, we’re still living in Charlotte’s world, and Mandy Rose slipping is one of the bigger stories on the show. You would have almost no idea that Wrestlemania was eight days ago and that shouldn’t be the feeling. The show wasn’t the worst and was a big improvement over last week, but it still wasn’t exactly good. Better, but they still need to fix a lot of problems.

Results

Viking Experience b. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin – Viking Experience to Alexander

Riddle b. Randy Orton – Crucifix

Lana/Naomi b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Double X Factor to Baszler

Elias b. Kofi Kingston – Top rope elbow

Drew McIntyre b. Mace/T-Bar via DQ when Mace and T-Bar double teamed McIntyre

Mace/T-Bar b. Drew McIntyre/Braun Strowman via DQ when McIntyre hit Mace with the mask

Damian Priest b. The Miz – Hit The Lights

Asuka b. Charlotte – Crucifix

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 12, 2021: Awful

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 12, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the unofficial season premiere of Raw after the fairly awesome two night Wrestlemania. We’re in the new Thunderdome this week and that shouldn’t make much of a difference compared to the other ones. In theory this should be the big show with all kinds of things going on, but you never can tell these days. Let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania Night One and Night Two if you need a recap

Bobby Lashley arrived earlier and Riddle immediately challenged him. Lashley doesn’t think so because Riddle lost to Sheamus last night. Riddle talks about wearing a tin foil hats because of aliens but Lashley turns him down again. That earns Lashley some quotes about how anyone can have a shot, so Lashley shoves him down and calls him a loser. The match seems to be on.

Bobby Lashley vs. Riddle

Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. Riddle scooters to the ring so Lashley jumps him before the bell and the beatdown is on outside. Lashley posts him and rams him into various things before taking it inside. For some reason Riddle says let’s go and gets sent into the corner for the shoulder to the ribs. The delayed vertical suplex drops Riddle again and Lashley tosses the scooter to make things….well as serious as they can be when they are involving a scooter. Riddle gets in a few shots but gets knocked down again as we take a break.

Back with Lashley working on a neck crank and hitting the Downward Spiral to drop Riddle again. Lashley throws him around again and starts on the arm. Riddle manages to get in a kick to the head and some kicks rock Lashley, followed by the jumping knee. The Floating Bro misses though and the Hurt Lock finishes Riddle at 10:30.

Rating: C. Total squash for the most part here and that’s how it should have gone. Lashley gets to dominate and now we should be on the way to finding out his next challenger. I’m not sure what this is going to mean for Riddle, but it is likely not the best sign with back to back losses. Granted if it means less of his promos backstage, it might be an improvement for everyone.

We look at Rhea Ripley winning the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania.

Ripley says it is time to continue her confidence and welcomes us to the Brutality World Order. And there goes her chances at being the next big thing, as WWE has managed to turn her into a catchphrase machine right out of the box.

Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin vs. Viking Raiders

This is Ivar’s return after seven months off due to neck surgery. Ivar throws Alexander into the corner and hammers away with the forearms. Erik slams Ivar onto Alexander and it’s off to Benjamin in a hurry. Cedric takes Erik’s knee out and Shelton gets two off a knee to the face. Shelton suplexes Erik for the same and Alexander pounds away with forearms. There’s a suplex to give Shelton two but Erik knocks him away and hands it off to Ivar to clean house. Some shoulders set up the cartwheel and double clothesline as everything breaks down. The Viking Experience finishes Alexander at 5:37.

Rating: C-. Just a return match for Ivar and that’s great to see. He had a rather serious injury and it is awesome to have him back. Throw in the fact that the tag team division has been desperate for some fresh blood and this should be a nice upgrade. The team looked fine here and you wouldn’t have realized Ivar had been gone for seven months.

Asuka promises to get the title back.

Here is the returning Charlotte (with Virk seeming rather impressed) for a chat. She isn’t happy with not being on Wrestlemania because she is a franchise player and she wasn’t on the show due to reasons that are not her fault. It wasn’t her fault that Asuka needed a partner or that her dad acted like a fool at Raw Legends or that Asuka didn’t answer her challenge. Asuka accepted Rhea Ripley’s challenge though and now she is the new Women’s Champion.

Charlotte knows that everyone was thrilled that she wasn’t on Wrestlemania because it meant that everyone else had a chance. Now Asuka has another chance at the title but remember that karma is a b**** and Charlotte is that b****. This is the new Charlotte and she isn’t apologizing for being that good anymore. She has given everything to this business and what has she gotten in return? Enjoy your title match that she should be in, and there’s the mic drop.

Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Asuka is challenging and jumps Ripley to start but gets shoved away. The threat of a cross armbreaker sends Ripley into the ropes for the break. Ripley sends her outside and we take an early break. Back with Ripley sending her hard into the corner but Asuka comes back with a middle rope dropkick. Some strikes to the face, including a running basement kick to the face, get two on Ripley.

A few shots put Asuka down again and the Prism Trap goes on. With that broken up in a hurry, Ripley pulls her into an electric chair. That’s broken up as well and we hit the Fujiwara armbar, with Asuka switching into the Asuka Lock. Ripley gets her into another electric chair and drops her face first for another break. They head to the apron with Asuka ramming her into the turnbuckle….and here is Charlotte to jump both of them for the double DQ at 11:50.

Rating: C. They telegraphed the ending with the Charlotte promo and I’m not sure how many people were buying the chance of a second title change in two days. Ripley needed to look more dominant, but something looked a bit off with Asuka. She seemed a lot more sloppy than usual and hopefully that isn’t because something is wrong.

Post match the beatdown is on and Charlotte is rather pleased.

Miz and John Morrison are annoyed at last night but Maryse is here to make Miz smile again.

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler laugh at Mandy Rose falling at Wrestlemania. Rose and Dana Brooke come up and take Jax down as Baszler just isn’t there.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground, with Alexa Bliss talking about how there was once a scared little girl who needs to be saved. Then the darkness came along and saved her, but one day she realized she didn’t need to be saved anymore.

The girl realized she didn’t need the darkness anymore and did what she could do to get rid of the darkness on her own. Now the girl is going to have her own fun. We also meet Lily, a rather disturbing Alexa Bliss doll….who comes to live and bites at the camera. The doll was creepy and then it went into exactly what you would have expected.

It’s time for MizTV with Maryse and John Morrison. They plug their media skills and plug Miz and Mrs., which is back tonight. Morrison thinks he should be added to the cast, but Miz reminds him that he is in tonight’s episode. After a plug for Maryse’s new moisturizer, we move on to Bad Bunny and Wrestlemania, with Miz bragging about making Bunny a bigger star. Cue Damian Priest to say he doesn’t want to hear it. The challenge is thrown out for a handicap match right now, even though Miz and Morrison are in suits.

Damian Priest vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Miz and Morrison are in street clothes and manage to take Morrison down for a slingshot into a forearm. A slingshot elbow gets two on Priest and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Priest kicks Morrison into the corner, setting up the running elbows in the corner. The Broken Elbow plants Morrison and the series of strikes drop Miz. The chokeslam connects but Morrison breaks up the cover, earning himself a clothesline.

Priest dives onto the two of them on the floor and a top rope spinwheel kick drops Morrison for two. Hit the Lights takes out Morrison but Maryse saves Miz from taking the same thing. Then Priest pulls off Miz’s pants, revealing….pretty much trunks, and another Maryse distraction lets Miz grab a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:35.

Rating: D. We just spent two and a half months watching WWE try to give Priest a rub from Bad Bunny and the first thing they do once he is gone is have him lose to Miz and Morrison, in street clothes, thanks to a cameo from Maryse? Hooray for promoting the reality show, but was there no one else who could have been in Priest’s place? Of course there is, but we can’t have creative being creative and spending ten seconds coming up with a reason for someone to interrupt so just have Priest lose here instead.

Nia Jax says Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke orchestrated a cowardly attack on her backstage to distract from Mandy’s Wrestlemania mishap. That’s such a horribly scripted line that no one would ever possibly say in real life that I’m going to sigh and move on.

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Dana Brooke/Mandy Rose

Non-title. Nia goes after Brooke to start and sends her into the ropes to begin the beating. We hit the neck crank for a bit as Brooke isn’t exactly able to do much here (her mind might still be blown by that backstage promo). Brooke finally gets away and hands it off to Rose, who takes over on Baszler in a hurry. Rose manages to send her outside and Jax is tossed as well. Jax starts coming back in but slips on the apron….so Dana and Mandy bail for the countout at 5:35, saying it’s not worth it.

Rating: F. Oh sweet goodness why? We really need to turn Mandy slipping on a wet ramp into an angle where Nia Jax falls down on the apron? This was the latest example of WWE having something inconsequential happening and turning it into a thing, probably because Vince McMahon found it funny. Mandy and Dana aren’t good but there is a place for them. This was a great way to kill off anything they had going for them.

Dana and Mandy’s music plays because none of this matters.

Here is MVP to talk about how Drew McIntyre went out like a gladiator. There is nothing wrong with being second best but he lost to Bobby Lashley on Saturday. No one can handle the pressure of the Hurt Lock, including McIntyre. So who can handle it? Cue Drew McIntyre, who MVP says should be feeling humble. McIntyre says Wrestlemania came down to the Claymore, the Hurt Lock, and whoever made the first mistake. He made that first mistake and yes the Hurt Lock is going to end anyone.

McIntyre gets in the ring to suggest he wants another title shot but MVP says everything has to be earned. Cue Braun Strowman, with MVP starting to get a bit nervous. Strowman says McIntyre needs to go tot he back of the line but here’s Randy Orton (MVP: “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???”) to say say that the Fiend is gone so it’s time for him to go after the title again. Adam Pearce, triple threat, tonight.

Post break, McIntyre runs into Strowman in the back and says it’s a Claymore tonight. Strowman thinks McIntyre is insulting his intelligence and promises to win.

We recap Charlotte’s promo and interference earlier tonight.

Here are Jaxson Ryker and Elias to dedicate a song to Shane McMahon. Elias starts playing but we hear a trombone instead. After Elias manages to be dumb enough to not understand what is going on (there are so many possible reasons for a trombone to be heard around here), cue New Day to say that Elias and Ryker have shamed the tag team division. It is time to restore honor right now.

New Day vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias

New Day clears the ring in a hurry and hit stereo dives to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Woods in trouble and Elias grabbing a chinlock as we go split screen for an ad for the movie Nobody. Back to full screen with Ryker coming in to throw Woods around but an enziguri knocks Ryker silly. The hot tag brings in Kofi to pick up the pace with a dropkick and one footed stomp to the standing Elias. Everything breaks down and the Daybreak finishes Elias at 9:35.

Rating: C-. New Day gets back on track and it isn’t like Elias and Ryker have any value in the first place. New Day is going to be around for as long as they want to be as they are as over as you can get in the tag division and still put on pretty good matches. This was one of the better things on the show, mainly because it was just ok, which is a huge improvement tonight.

Randy Orton is ready to get back in the title hunt because the Fiend and Alexa Bliss are behind him.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House where everyone seems rather happy to be here. This includes Bray Wyatt, who is so glad to be back. Abby the Witch isn’t happy, which Bray says means witches be lyin. Ramblin Rabbit is glad that she, likely meaning Alexa Bliss, is gone. Bray throws him away and says they still have each other. This could be a new start for all of them and a new season for all of them. Maybe even a brand new him, because he could be reborn. Everything will be fine because HE will return and the Fun House will be strong. Bray nearly broke into song on that last part, complete with a rather up tempo beat behind him.

Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Braun Strowman

The winner gets a shot at Bobby Lashley at Wrestlemania: Backlash. Strowman goes after McIntyre to start but Orton helps make the save with a double suplex. Everyone is knocked to the floor but the Strowman Express is cut off by the steps to the face. Orton drops McIntyre onto the announcers’ table and we take a break.

Back with Orton knocking McIntyre down and stomping at the ankle. They head outside with Orton sending him face first into the announcers’ table over and over. Strowman is back up to run them both over but Orton gets in a shot of his own to slow Strowman down. Back in and the RKO hits Strowman but Orton takes forever to get the pin, allowing McIntyre to Claymore Orton in the face for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: C. Completely run of the mill triple threat with almost nothing that I’m going to remember in about five minutes. McIntyre winning isn’t a surprise as Lashley vs. Strowman or Orton is not exactly an interesting match. Maybe they can improve on their Wrestlemania match, but this wasn’t much of an improvement over anything.

Post match here is MVP on the stage and McIntyre waits for Lashley. Instead, T-Bar and Mace run in from behind to lay McIntyre out with a double chokeslam. They stand on the floor with MVP watching on, though they don’t acknowledge each other.

Overall Rating: F. And that’s being as nice as I can. This was HORRIBLE with one dumb idea after another and a grand total of maybe two and a half surprises (I’m not sure if Charlotte really counts). Ivar being back is very nice to see and I’m intrigued by the T-Bar/Mace deal, but other than that, you would have no idea that this was a special show because WWE has managed to suck the fun out of this as well.

Between “HAHA MANDY SLIPPED”, Priest losing to promote a reality show, Charlotte being back in the title picture less than twenty four hours after Ripley won the title and Alexa Bliss’ doll trying to eat us, this was one of the most depressing shows I can remember. It’s like they put all of the effort into Wrestlemania and then just decided that they had had enough of this work and trying stuff and started doing their old nonsense again. But at least now we can get a Wrestlemania rematch out of it so we don’t have to come up with anything new.

WWE is fresh off of their first show in thirteen months with fans and they did pretty well over the weekend. That gives them their first momentum in forever and THIS is what they give us? One of the most boring, cookie cutter by the book shows in months? WWE thought so much of this night that they put out a three hour DVD on the thing, but now this is what we’re given instead?

A women’s match headlines Wrestlemania and what do we get here: Charlotte back in the title picture and HAHA MANDY ROSE FELL DOWN! You have a women’s tag team division so dead that Tamina and Natalya get two Wrestlemania matches but you need to give one of the few regular teams you have a joke match that puts MORE attention on Nia Jax? We don’t get a Ripley squash or Mandy and Dana becoming #1 contenders, but rather the focus being on Charlotte and someone slipping on a wet ramp.

So that’s their follow up to Wrestlemania. We get a show that seems to care more about promoting Miz and Mrs. than the guy who just got a rub from the biggest celebrity willing to do something with WWE and a flashback to last week when Drew McIntyre was chasing Bobby Lashley. No NXT debuts, no major returns and no Bray Wyatt with a response of “maybe this is a good thing” to losing at Wrestlemania. Well done WWE, as you have now managed to cut the legs off another one of the best things that you have available.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Riddle – Hurt Lock

Viking Raiders b. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin – Viking Experience to Alexander

Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka went to a double DQ when Charlotte interfered

Miz/John Morrison b. Damian Priest – Rollup with feet on the ropes

New Day b. Jaxson Ryker/Elias – Daybreak to Elias

Drew McIntyre b. Randy Orton and Braun Strowman – Claymore to Orton

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXXVII Night One: Home Again

Wrestlemania XXXVII Night One
Date: April 10, 2021
Location: Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Bebe Rexha

We’re finally back with fans for the first time in over a year. That’s hard to fathom but for the first time in forever it feels like a WWE show. The card is stacked, but really what matters most is being back to normal, because it has taken a long time to get here. I know it is just for the weekend, but after such a long wait, I’ll take whatever I can get. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and, with the roster behind him, thanks the fans for sticking with them throughout the pandemic. For tonight though, WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA!

The set is awesome, with the pirate ship decorated in WWE flags and sails. I’m a big pirate fan so that’s very cool to see.

Bebe Rexha, with a woman playing guitar, sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is actually a sequel to last year’s, as we have the traditional opening statement about it being the start of a great voyage but the Jack Sparrow impersonator takes over to talk about how we need to correct course after last year. He also thanks the fans for coming out and we get a more traditional finish for the big grand finale. The original narrator approves.

We go to the stadium, which looks great….and there is a weather delay due to lightning. The commentary team says it is just going to be a little bit longer and recaps Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley.

Shane McMahon is ready to finish things with Braun Strowman and is ready to be back in front of fans.

MVP talks about how ready Bobby Lashley is and promises to end Drew McIntyre tonight. Drew McIntyre comes in and tells MVP to do it to his face. McIntyre says Mother Nature can’t save him and we’ll do it right here if we have to. Agents and referees break it up. MVP and Lashley leave and McIntyre talks about how he can’t wait to finally get his hands on Lashley after such a long wait.

The Kickoff Show hosts talk about McIntyre vs. Lashley.

New Day is ready for AJ Styles and Omos and are glad they registered as a new team. Big E. comes in and talks about how blessed we are to see these two do work.

Commentary dubs the show Wrestlerainia.

Braun Strowman says he is going to beat up Shane McMahon for everyone who has ever been called stupid.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about Vince McMahon opening the show.

Kevin Owens talks about meeting Sami Zayn in 2002. They did not know anyone more passionate about wrestling than the two of them and have wrestled each other around the world, from Canada to America to Peru to German and everywhere else. Throughout those twenty years, no two people were talked down to like they were. Tomorrow night (we get a weird buzzing sound over the audio here), they are going to get to do this on the biggest stage of them all, but it is not the Sami Zayn Owens has known for years.

Cole and Samoa Joe are in ponchos and say we are five minutes away. Byron Saxton is off to get another microphone after his died.

Bianca Belair is ready and knows that this is the biggest night of her life.

Seth Rollins, who thinks Kevin Patrick is named Mike, is ready for “Zazzaro” and promises the performance of a lifetime when he gets to trounce him once and for all.

Miz and John Morrison are ready for Bad Bunny and Damian Priest because they will never be as wet as Johnny Drip Drip.

Long video on Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre. Lashley won the WWE Title from the Miz, who cashed in Money in the Bank on McIntyre following a Lashley beatdown at Elimination Chamber. McIntyre is now getting his one on one rematch for the title. Commentary was bleeding over during the video.

Here are Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan to welcome us to the show, and to O’Neil’s city. They hype up the show, with Hogan talking about how amazing the Hurt Lock and Claymore are. You can see the rain dripping off of Titus as they hit the catchphrases to wrap it up.

WWE Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and has MVP with him. Cole says to be a legend of Hall of Famer, you have to have held the title. We’ll ignore how ridiculous that is as they lock up to no avail. A hard shoulder puts McIntyre down but he’s right back up with the belly to belly. Lashley drives him up against the rope but McIntyre clotheslines him to the floor. They fight outside with Lashley sending him into the barricade as you can see all the water on the mats.

Back in and Lashley grabs a swinging neckbreaker for two but the running shoulder only hits post (that is WAY too popular of a spot these days). A cross armbreaker doesn’t work very well for McIntyre but a clothesline and elbow to the face do a bit better. There’s another belly to belly and a third sends Lashley flying again. A bridging northern lights suplex gives McIntyre two but Lashley plants him with the big spinebuster for the same.

McIntyre is right back with the reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner and it’s time to head up. Lashley crotches his way out of a superplex attempt so McIntyre grabs a quickly broken Kimura. Instead McIntyre does his situp out of the Tree of Woe to send Lashley flying again. Another spinebuster cuts McIntyre off again….and he pops right back up to stun Lashley. McIntyre channels his inner Scott Steiner with another belly to belly, followed by three straight Futureshocks for two.

The Claymore is loaded up but Lashley bails to the floor, only to have McIntyre bust out the big no hands flip dive to take out both Lashley and MVP. Back in and McIntyre misses coming off the top, meaning he gets caught in the Hurt Lock. That’s reversed with a ram into the corner and McIntyre grabs a Kimura. That’s broken up as well so McIntyre loads up the Claymore but MVP offers a distraction, allowing Lashley to grab the Hurt Lock. McIntyre tries to flip around but can’t even get out using the turnbuckle climb and Lashley retains at 18:24.

Rating: B-. This started slowly and then picked up a lot of steam near the end. Lashley retaining is absolutely the right call as there is no need for McIntyre to win the title again after most of a year of holding the thing. It would have been ridiculous to have Lashley lost the title after about five weeks so it was nice to see them do the right thing after a pretty hard hitting fight.

Bayley comes up to Hulk Hogan, Titus O’Neil and the NWO in the back but they aren’t interested in her offers of Too Sweet.

Tag Team Turmoil

Five teams and the winners get a Women’s Tag Team Title shot on night two. Naomi/Lana are in at #1 and Carmella/Billie Kay are in at #2 with Carmella hammering on Lana to start. Lana avoids a charge and gets over for the quick tag to Naomi to clean house. Everything breaks down and Billie gets a sunset flip on Naomi with an assist from Carmella for the pin.

The Riott Squad is in at #3 and Billie suplexes Morgan into a low superkick from Carmella for two. They try the same assisted sunset flip but this time Carmella gets caught (Carmella: “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!!!”). A Codebreaker into a top rope backsplash finishes Kay but Carmella drops Riott after the fall.

Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke are in at #4 with Mandy falling down on the ramp. An early Blockbuster gets two on Riott, who has to fight out of the corner and brings in Morgan. A Codebreaker into the Riott Kick (which seemed to miss) gets two on Mandy with Brooke making the save. It’s off to Brooke for a Swanton and a small package but Liv reverses it into one of own for the pin. After the ring announcer says the wrong team name, Natalya and Tamina are in at #5 to complete the field.

The Sharpshooter attempt is countered into a small package to give Liv two so Natalya plants her with a powerbomb. Tamina comes in and gets sent into the corner with Riott sending Morgan into her ribs. Back up and Tamina superkicks the heck out of Morgan and the Hart Attack to Riott set up the Superfly Splash to give Natalya and Tamina the pin at 14:05.

Rating: D. Of course they won. Of course they won. I still have no idea what the heck WWE sees in Natalya and Tamina but I’m sure a goat and a lot of drugs are involved. Now we get to see them again tomorrow for reasons I don’t want to understand. The match itself was nothing due to how fast they had to go and then we have a terrible result. Happy Wrestlemania everyone.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro in the form of a political ad against Cesaro, as paid for by Friends of Seth Rollins. Basically Cesaro has never done anything and Rollins is the kind of a leader we need. Also Rollins is mad because Cesaro Swung him 22 times a few months ago.

Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro

Cesaro jumps him fast to start and hammers away. Rollins tries to get up top but is caught with an uppercut but a gutwrench superplex is countered into a buckle bomb for two. Cesaro is sent to the apron so he goes up (while shaking off his right arm) but gets superplexed into a Falcon Arrow for two more. The uppercuts send Rollins into the corner where more uppercutting ensues.

A clothesline turns Rollins inside out for two and the threat of a Swing sends him to the ropes. Rollins is back up with an enziguri but the Stomp is countered into the Swing, with the crowd counting along. Cesaro stops at nine to put on the Sharpshooter but Rollins is right next to the rope. The Sling Blade sets up a spinning frog splash for two and Rollins can’t believe the kickout.

Cesaro is back up with the Neutralizer for two but a second is countered into the Pedigree for the same. Rollins hits a running kick to the back of the neck but Cesaro counters the Stomp into an uppercut. The no hands torture rack spin sets up the Swing for twenty three swings (or however these people count). The Neutralizer finishes Rollins at 11:23.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here but above all else, the right result, which you never know about with some of these matches. Rollins absolutely did not need to win here while it is a huge moment for Cesaro. I’m not sure I believe that this is the start of a big push for him, but at least he won here and got the big moment for a change.

Cesaro is VERY happy with the win.

We recap Smackdown.

Bobby Roode and Robert Roode are very proud with their win on Smackdown.

Raw Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. AJ Styles/Omos

New Day is defending and has Big E. with them, at least for their entrance. Omos is about to start but New Day talks AJ into starting instead. Kofi gets a quick rollup for one and it’s time to hit that trombone solo. Woods comes in for a chinlock and explains that AJ is not a tag team wrestler because they are effectively cutting the ring in half. The Unicorn Stampede (not Stomp Cole) has Woods in trouble, followed by a headlock takeover from Woods.

A double bulldog gets two on Styles and Woods sends him outside for a dropkick through the ropes. AJ tries to dive over for the tag but gets planted face first by Kofi for two instead. Woods goes up and AJ uses the delay to get over to Omos for the tag to a heck of a response. Kofi: “YOU GOT THIS WOODS!”

A dropkick has no effect on Omos and a crossbody bounces off of him. Kofi gets caught coming off the top and thrown down as New Day realizes they’re in big trouble. Some running elbows in the corner crush New Day and there’s a backbreaker to Woods, with Omos bending him over the knee. Kofi gets a backbreaker of his own and AJ hits a Phenomenal Forearm off of Omos’ shoulders to drop Woods. A release Sky High and the one foot on the chest finishes Kofi at 9:54.

Rating: C+. Yeah that worked. They didn’t try to do anything ridiculous here as Omos did all kinds of basic big man stuff, which mainly involved him standing still or moving minimally. The size and power are enough to make him look devastating and that’s all you need to do. It’s a classic formula and I liked it quite a bit. Good stuff here and it couldn’t have been put together much better.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman. Shane has called Strowman stupid time after time so Strowman wants to stand up for everyone who has been bullied over the years. McMahon also allowed Strowman to pick the stipulation for the match, with Strowman making it a cage match.

Jerry Lawler joins commentary.

Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon

Inside a cage but here are Elias and Jaxson Ryker to attack Strowman with a chair, including various shots to the leg. Shane gets the chair inside and unloads on Strowman even more but it is way too early to escape. Strowman catches Shane going up so Shane pulls off a piece of sheet metal to hammer him down again. That’s good for two so Strowman, with a mouse under his eye, gets up and crushes Shane against the cage.

The big forearm to the chest drops Shane again but the leg gives out on the running powerslam attempt. Shane sends him into the cage a few times and hits the floatover DDT. The Coast To Coast connects for a rather close two so here are Elias and Ryker on the cage. Strowman knocks them both down so he and Shane go up, with Shane finding a tool box to hit him in the head. Shane goes up and over but takes WAY too long, allowing Strowman to grab him.

With nothing else available, Strowman rips the cage wall apart and drags Shane back in (that’s a new one). They both wind up on top of the cage and Strowman tosses him back to the mat (Strowman: “WHO’S STUPID NOW???”). That’s enough for Strowman to climb down….but he climbs back inside instead and shouts about how this is for everyone who has ever been called stupid. The running powerslam finishes Shane at 11:26.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness the former World Champion and professional strong man beat up a 50+ year old executive who doesn’t wrestle more than 3-4 times a year. That’s how you step up to someone. This was the story that wasn’t going to be good no matter how they presented it because Shane has completely outlived his usefulness, especially in a role like this one. At least they kept it relatively short and Strowman won, so it could have been a lot worse.

Bayley interrupts the announcement of the Hall of Fame video package and throws us to the Hall of Fame video package.

Most of the Hall of Fame class is presented:

Titus O’Neil

JBL
NWO (Hogan/Hall/Nash/Waltman)

Bella Twins

Wrestlemania XXXVIII is in Dallas, with Steve Austin making the announcement.

Booker T. joins commentary.

And now, we have an army of bunnies, one of whom loses an ear. Cue Miz and John Morrison for a “live” performance of Hey Hey Hop Hop, which is an improvement over seeing the bunnies holding their heads on.

We recap Miz/John Morrison vs. Bad Bunny/Damian Priest. Bunny is a huge rap star and a die hard wrestling fan who showed up at the Royal Rumble to perform his song about Booker T. Miz and Morrison didn’t like him, so Bunny started hanging out with Priest. They tormented each other for weeks until a match between Bunny and Morrison was set up for Wrestlemania. Miz and Morrison then painted Bunny’s multi million dollar car, which drew in Morrison and Priest to make it a tag match.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Damian Priest/Bad Bunny

Bunny gets a huge entrance of his own, coming into the stadium on a semi truck. Miz and Priest start but Miz wants Bunny instead. That’s exactly what Miz gets and Bunny looks a bit nervous. Bunny drops him with a right hand so Morrison has to remind Miz that bunnies are lucky. Another right hand sends Miz into the ropes again so he takes Bunny into the corner for a change.

A kick to the ribs puts Bunny down but he’s right back with with La Majistral for two. Morrison freaks out, saying Miz needs to start thinking like one of the best of all time. Back up and Bunny slides through Miz’s legs and snaps off a fairly long headscissors. There’s a headbutt to Morrison but he catches Bunny with an elbow. Miz comes back in with a chinlock but Bunny is back up with more right hands. A sunset flip gets two so Miz kicks him in the face to cut off another comeback.

Miz knocks him into the corner again as the fans try to get behind Bunny again. Bunny manages to get a boot up in the corner though and a tornado DDT plants Miz. The diving tag brings in Priest to clean house in a hurry, including tossing Miz at Morrison. The South of Heaven chokeslam gets two on Miz and Bunny comes back in for stereo Broken Arrows for a double near fall.

Bunny goes up top and hits a big dive to take out Miz/Morrison (Saxton: “I knew bunnies could hop but I didn’t know they could fly!”). Miz is right back in for the Skull Crushing Finale for two on Priest with Bunny making the save. Bunny hits a Canadian Destroyer on Morrison on the floor and a high crossbody finishes Miz at 15:01.

Rating: C. Yeah Bunny got in a lot of stuff here, but are you going to tell the biggest star willing to do something with WWE that he can’t do something? Bunny probably got in more offense than any other celebrity in recent memory and he looked fine enough doing it. Miz and Morrison have been treated as clueless putzes for years now so it isn’t that much of a stretch to see them lose here. Priest got in some points by association here so this went about as well as it could have, with Bunny being FAR better than I would have bet on.

Here’s the Sunday rundown.

We recap Sasha Banks vs. Bianca Belair for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Belair won the Royal Rumble and is ready to claim her destiny but Banks doesn’t want to give up the spot. Yeah it isn’t much of a story but that’s what you get when you have two pay per view matches going for the Women’s Tag Team Titles.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Bianca Belair

Banks is defending and they both look to be near tears to start. Feeling out process to start with Banks having to slip out of something close to a torture rack but getting caught in a double chickenwing. Banks manages to send her outside but the suicide dive is caught, allowing Belair to gorilla press her and walk up the steps for a toss over the top. Back in and Belair picks her up, does some squats, and slams her but Banks nails a running knee to take over.

The double arm crank goes on but Belair gets up and powers her into the corner. Banks is sent to the floor where she tries to pull Belair’s braid. That’s fine with Belair, who uses it to pull Banks into the post. Banks misses running double knees into the barricade and the both beat the count. Back in again and Belair muscles her up for a suplex, bounces her off the top, leans Banks forward, and then drops her back for two.

Belair shoulders her down again and then drives in some shoulders in the corner. The 450 hits knees though and Banks tries a hurricanrana, which is countered into back to back powerbombs. Banks sends her into the corner though and it’s a kick to Belair’s face, setting up a double springboard tornado DDT for two. With Belair down, Banks goes up and starts with the Meteora but changes into a splash halfway down.

Belair tries to get up so Banks uses the braid to pull her down into the Bank Statement for a rather clever setup. That’s broken up with a roll into the ropes so Banks hammers away in said ropes. Banks goes up so Belair tries a running hurricanrana, only to get tied in the Tree of Woe.

The top rope double stomp misses and so do the running knees, which go into the buckle. Now the 450 connects for two and Belair screams a lot on the kickout. The KOD is countered and Banks grabs the braid, which is used for a heck of a whip. Now the KOD can connect for the pin and the title at 17:20. Cole shouts about a kickout before switching to Belair winning.

Rating: B. I saw someone give the perfect description of this as brains vs. brawn, which is exactly what it was. Belair is an athletic freak and someone who can do almost everything you ask of her in the ring while Banks is the seasoned veteran who knows how to take on anyone. Banks couldn’t hang with Belair physically so she had to fight smart, but eventually you just can’t get around that kind of power and athleticism. Very good match and an awesome story to wrap things up.

There is a HUGE welt on Banks’ side from the hair whip. Belair celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. All things considered, including the rain, this was a pretty good show with only the cage match being bad. It wasn’t a classic, but after being away from everything for a year, I’ll certainly take what I can get. Above all else it felt like a Wrestlemania and that is what you need after such a long absence. The action was mostly good and they went with the right choices in the winners, so there wasn’t much to complain about here. Good show, and dang is it nice to have Wrestlemania, or at least the fans and the atmosphere, back.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Drew McIntyre – Hurt Lock

Natalya/Tamina won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating

Cesaro b. Seth Rollins – Neutralizer

AJ Styles/Omos b. New Day – Release Sky High to Kingston

Braun Strowman b. Shane McMahon – Running powerslam

Damian Priest/Bad Bunny b. Miz/John Morrison – High crossbody to Miz

Bianca Belair b. Sasha Banks – KOD

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXVI Night One (Original): So Long

Wrestlemania XXXVI Night One
Date: April 4, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Host: Rob Gronkowski

Sweet goodness that does not feel right. I’m not sure what to expect tonight because WWE didn’t feel the need to tell us what was going to be taking place on either night. This show is going to have about a hundred asterisks in the history books and that’s perfectly fine, but it doesn’t make things any less disappointing (not that it’s WWE’s fault). Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cesaro vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak takes him down by the arm to start but Cesaro powers up with a backbreaker to get out of trouble. That earns him a LeBell Lock (which Cole calls a Crossface, missing the point of the move almost entirely) to send Cesaro outside so Gulak dives on him for a bonus. Back in and Cesaro’s arm gets snapped across the top rope and a clothesline puts him on the floor again. Cesaro gets sent into the steps but he’s able to uppercut Gulak out of the air back inside for two. The Neutralizer can’t work but Cesaro uses the left arm uppercut and goes with a (no hands) spinning torture rack slam for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Just a match here and it did well enough with the warmup stuff, though my goodness it’s going to be a rough couple of nights. The lack of crowd reaction is going to hurt things a lot but that was always going to be the case. They were a little more energized than usual, but Cole on his own and nothing else as far as noise is going to make for some tough going.

Stephanie McMahon welcomes us to the show to explain that we are on a closed set with no audience. Tonight, they are going to be making people happy, because this is Wrestlemania. There’s your first WWE pat on the back of the night.

Instead of an original version of America the Beautiful, we get a montage of versions of the song played at previous Wrestlemanias. That’s a good one at least.

The opening video goes into the full pirate theme but the narrator says hang on a second because this is too cliched. Instead, he walks us through everything included, such as shots of heroes and catchphrases. It turns into a regular trailer, complete with the same narrator telling us to forget everything we know coming into tonight. Fate leads the way and fate has a funny way of surprising us. We go into For Those About To Rock for a better intro. I love pirate movies so this worked well for me.

Rob Gronkowski welcomes us to the show and says he’s the right man for the job because he knows how to start a thirty hour party. Mojo Rawley comes in to take some chops and it’s time to go to the ring.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Kabuki Warriors vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

The Warriors are defending for the first time since mid December. Asuka laughs at Bliss to start and it’s off to Sane before anything happens. Kairi knocks Bliss down and messes with her bow so it’s a slap to the face, allowing Bliss to mess with Kairi’s hair for a change. It’s off to Cross for a running basement dropkick but Sane powers her into the corner. Asuka comes in and gets forearmed in the chest as everything breaks down.

Nikki dives off the apron to take out Sane, meaning it’s time for a hug back inside. Back in and Nikki sends Sane to the floor, only to have her dropkick through the ropes cut off. Cross gets taken into the corner but manages a sunset flip for two, setting up the tag to Bliss. That’s fine for Sane, who hits an Alberto top rope double stomp for her own two. Asuka works on an armbar but her bulldog is broken up.

Not that it matters as a kick to the face drops Bliss for two more. Bliss gets up and avoids a charge, allowing the hot tag to Cross to pick up the pace. Sane rakes her eyes but Asuka walks into the Purge. The Insane Elbow breaks up the cover though and they’re both down again. Cross goes for a rollup but gets pulled into the Asuka Lock.

That’s broken up with Twisted Bliss but Sane Intercepts Bliss to put everyone down. Cross catches Sane on top but gets caught in a powerbomb/top rope forearm combination for a rather near fall. Back up and Cross hits the Purge to drop Sane, setting up Twisted Bliss for the pin and the titles at 15:03.

Rating: C. This could have been worse but it went on a good bit too long. The title change was supposed to be a feel good moment but when the titles have never meant anything beyond their first few weeks, the impact isn’t really there. Cross was pushed as the star of the match and it was fine enough, though I have no faith in the futures of the titles.

The Artist Collective have a plan for Daniel Bryan.

Elias vs. King Corbin

Hold on though as Corbin shows us a clip of his attempted murder of Elias last week so Corbin demands a forfeit. Cue Elias to break the guitar over Corbin’s back and a good posting so we can get started. Elias elbows him down for one and a swinging neckbreaker gets the same. Corbin gets in a toss to the floor though and Elias is sent shoulder first into the post. Some elbows to the shoulder keep Elias down as Cole tries to make this story sound intense.

Corbin shouts at commentary a lot and then sends Elias shoulder first into the post again. Elias manages to reverse a whip to send Corbin’s shoulder into the post though and it’s time for a breather. Some clubberin in the corner puts Corbin down but he grabs Deep Six for two. Elias knees him in the face for two more but Corbin rolls away before the top rope elbow launches. An uppercut lets Corbin put his feet on the ropes for two so Elias grabs a rollup with tights for the pin at 8:53.

Rating: D. Raw style match here and that’s not the best thing in the world. It was fine for a revenge match as Elias was aggressive but pinning Corbin is more damaging to him than pin. That being said, Elias being launched off a ten foot high balcony is just an eight day injury now? Come on already.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Shayna Baszler. Lynch has been Raw Women’s Champion for a year now and has beaten everyone there is to beat but Baszler won a triple threat match, also including Bayley, at Survivor Series. Baszler was unstoppable in NXT and bit Becky’s neck to draw a lot of blood. Then she ran through the Elimination Chamber to earn the title shot in the most obvious result in years. Becky has been trying to play mind games but Baszler is such a killer that she doesn’t seem too bothered.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Shayna Baszler

Becky is defending and drives her semi truck to the arena for her big entrance. Baszler wastes no time in going for the Kirifuda Clutch but Becky is outside in a hurry. Baszler follows but Becky sends her into the steps a few times and Baszler is banged up early. Back in and Becky hits her missile dropkick, setting up a beating in the corner. It’s too early for the Disarm-Her though and Becky has to get out of the Kirifuda Clutch.

A spinebuster into a double underhook spinning faceplant gets two and Becky is sent to the apron. They slug it out until a Rock Bottom onto the apron plants Baszler. A powerbomb into the cross armbreaker has Becky in trouble until she stacks Baszler up for two. That’s reversed into the Disarm-Her on Becky, followed by a knee to the face for another near fall.

Becky goes to the apron and gets in a Stunner over the ropes, setting up a quickly broken Disarm-Her over the ropes. Baszler reverses that into an even more quickly broken Kirifuda Clutch to send Becky outside. This time Baszler follows her out and swings Becky head first into the announcers’ table like she did on Raw. Back in and the standing version of the Clutch goes on but Becky flips backwards into a cradle to retain at 8:42.

Rating: B-. Uh….ok then. I have no idea why they need to keep the title on Becky at the moment as she has literally held the title for a year and is getting close to the modern record. I’m not sure what the point is in keeping it on her here as the only thing left is a submission match with Baszler or a one on one match with Rousey, which doesn’t seem likely. Good match, but pretty confusing result.

Undertaker is getting a limited series on the WWE Network. Makes sense given the upcoming 30 year mark.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Daniel Bryan

Zayn is defending with Cesaro, Shinsuke Nakamura and Drew Gulak all at ringside. Sami hits the very long pause button to start and Bryan finally gives chase, allowing Cesaro to cut Bryan off. They do the same thing again but this time it’s Nakamura playing Cesaro’s role. Gulak and Cesaro get into a fight on the floor until Gulak sends Nakamura over the barricade. Gulak nearly gets in a fight with Sami for the DQ but Bryan finally chases Sami down on the ramp.

Bryan starts in on the leg as Sami loudly begs off, only to be sent outside. That means a heck of a suicide dive, followed by a running dropkick in the corner for a bonus. Some knees to the face have Sami rocked but he scores with some forearms to slow Bryan down. Bryan fights back up but Cesaro and Nakamura jump Gulak. That earns them a double suicide dive, allowing Sami to kick Bryan out of the air for the surprise pin at 9:20.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with another surprising finish. Sami is a rather good choice for the cocky champion who keeps surviving and after everything he’s done over the years, I like the idea of letting him have the title for a bit. Throw in the issue of Bryan possibly self quarantining and there was little reason to switch the title here. Well other than the idea of Bryan facing a challenger of the week in one great match after another.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Jimmy Uso vs. Kofi Kingston vs. John Morrison

Morrison is defending for his team in a ladder match. Some monkey flips don’t work to start so everyone goes to the floor to grab a ladder each. Jimmy gets knocked down first and comes up holding his leg. Morrison stomps both of them down on the mat but has to fight off the SOS onto the ladder. Trouble in Paradise misses as well and it’s Kofi vs. Jimmy slugging it out on top.

A running dive over the top takes down Morrison and the ladder and they’re all down on the floor. Back in and Morrison hits the super Spanish Fly on Kofi, followed by the Superfly Splash from Jimmy. Kofi headbutts Morrison off the top of the ladder before diving off the top with the double stomp to Morrison’s chest. Jimmy slides in another ladder and wedges it inside the standing ladder.

A HARD whip sends Kofi face first into the bridged ladder and Morrison gets superkicked out of the air. Jimmy goes up but Morrison shoves the ladder over, sending Jimmy down for the big crash (it was such a drop that he changed directions after landing). Kofi catches Morrison on top for the slugout but here’s Jimmy with another ladder to put all three up at once. They all pull the title hook down at once and it’s a triple headbutt to knock Morrison down with the titles to retain at 18:36.

Rating: B. This felt like a good ladder match that would have made it into a great one had it been in front of a crowd. What we got was good enough though and the dives and landings were rather awesome. I liked this more than almost anything else but my goodness it’s hard to watch them land like this with no one being there to watch. Good match, but sad in its way.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins. Seth has turned into the Monday Night Messiah but Owens doesn’t think much of him. They both had teams built up but the AOP is sidelined due to Rezar’s injury and Samoa Joe is suspended. Therefore, it’s one on one with the idea that Owens has never had a Wrestlemania moment. That’s not quite how history works, but it’s what we’re getting.

Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens

Rollins is in white but the glove has been some king of Tiger King referenced. Owens slugs away to start and hits a backsplash to put Rollins on the floor in a hurry. A backdrop onto the apron has Owens in trouble and a Falcon Arrow onto the apron makes it even worse. The suicide dive is broken up with a right hand but Rollins is fine enough to hit the Sling Blade.

Owens hits a DDT to get a breather and the Swanton connects for two. The Pop Up Powerbomb misses and so does the Stunner, allowing Rollins to hit an enziguri. Owens blasts him with a clothesline though and it’s a double knockdown. Rollins is up first and hits some superkicks to set up the Stomp, only to get reversed into the Pop Up sitout Powerbomb for two. They head outside with Rollins hitting him with the bell….and that’s a DQ at 10:09.

Hold on though as Owens says Rollins isn’t much of a god if that’s the best he can do. Owens wants to continue it No DQ so Rollins is back in to knee him in the head as the bell rings. Rollins throws him to the floor and the steps bounce off of Owens’ head, followed by a chair to the back. Owens bells him in the head a few times (it rings even if you hit someone with the board underneath it) and then climbs the sign for a huge backsplash to send Rollins through the announcers’ table. They stagger back inside for the Stunner to finish Rollins at 17:26 (counting the break in the middle).

Rating: C. I wasn’t big on this match in the first place and the whole Owens has never had a Wrestlemania Moment deal is still stupid but at least they didn’t stick with the DQ. This feud has lost almost all of the steam that it had in the first place so hopefully it’s done here. Granted when you don’t have much of a TV show to lord over, you’re not going to be the best messiah in the world.

Mojo and Gronk talk about how great the show is when R-Truth comes up to complain about how hard everything is. Gronk knocks him down and Mojo gets the title back. Notice the completely fine announcers’ table in the background.

Paul Heyman scares Charly Caruso but says Drew McIntyre is the one who should be afraid. In 24 hours, McIntyre is being exposed as a fraud and he can crawl out of the ring, victimized and conquered.

We preview tomorrow’s matches.

Smackdown World Title: Braun Strowman vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending. Strowman can’t get the powerslam and it’s a pair of spears to drop him in the first minute. Make it three straight for two and then a fourth cuts Strowman down again. Strowman counters the Jackhammer into the powerslam and then another one and then a third and then a big running fourth for the pin and the title at 2:13. You could have gone either way but it’s better to have someone actually active instead of Goldberg. Strowman as champion is about two years overdue, but I can’t imagine this lasts very long.

Wrestlemania XXXVII is in Los Angels.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Undertaker, which is all about AJ not being impressed by the modern Undertaker. He has called out Undertaker’s real life family and Undertaker has been acting more like BikerTaker than the Deadman as they head into a Boneyard match.

Undertaker vs. AJ Styles

They are in a graveyard for this one and there goes the gong as a hearse pulls up to the gate. The casket is pulled out by some druids and it’s AJ inside for a good surprise. Undertaker rides in on the motorcycle to Metallica and AJ talks about Michelle McCool digging the grave. Undertaker goes after him so AJ grabs a rock, only to get sent into an open casket. Undertaker punches through a window and cuts his arm open but throws AJ on top of the hearse anyway.

Some right hands knock him off the hearse and Undertaker has a seat while asking if AJ wants more. After Undertaker quotes Clubber Lang (“You want some more? I got a lot more.”), AJ throws some leaves in his face and gets in a low blow. Undertaker stands up after some right hands and knocks AJ down again, this time into a grave. Cue the OC as this has turned into a western.

A bunch of light comes out of a building and the walls come down to reveal a bunch of masked men. They surround Undertaker and do the eternally brilliant thing of attacking him one at a time. With that taken care of, Anderson and Gallows jump Undertaker but he isn’t about to be hit with a shovel. Instead Undertaker takes it back and beats them down, allowing AJ to break a tombstone over his back.

AJ hammers away and calls him an old man but breaks his fingers on Undertaker’s head. They fight through a wall and both lay on the ground sound like they’re dead. AJ says Undertaker is nothing but Undertaker flips him off and says come on. A shovel over the back puts Undertaker down in a grave and AJ goes to the machine with a barrel of dirt. Then a light shows up behind him and Undertaker pops up to beat on him some more. AJ climbs up a well placed ladder to get on the roof of the barn, so Undertaker makes flames come up to keep him in place.

Anderson and Gallows are up there too, with Gallows being thrown off. Anderson gets Tombstoned onto the metal roof and Undertaker chokeslams AJ off the roof. Undertaker climbs down and asks AJ what his wife’s name is now. They’re just getting started as Undertaker carries him over to the grave. AJ apologizes so Undertaker picks him up and says AJ put up a great fight. Undertaker hugs him and says most people wouldn’t have given him that kind of a fight. Undertaker turns to leave….and then knocks AJ into the grave. Undertaker gets in the machine and pours the dirt on AJ for the win at about 18:30.

Rating: A+. I don’t know what else you could have wanted from this match. This went so far beyond anything resembling sane or rational and went into complete insanity territory, making it one of the most entertaining things I can remember WWE doing in a LONG time. Of course it’s not good but that’s the point. This was entertaining, and that’s a lot more than you are going to get out of most Undertaker matches these days. Watch this and be prepared to laugh quite a bit, because it’s like Final Deletion but with production value.

AJ’s hand sticks out of the dirt as Undertaker gets on his bike. He throws up the fist so more fire comes up on the building and the Undertaker symbol lights up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I’m really not sure how to grade this one but I liked some parts of it well enough. The problem really is in the atmosphere, as the show feels so weak that there isn’t much that can be praised. The people were working hard and I feel so bad for them to not get their big Wrestlemania stadium experience. What we got was fun at points, but the lack of crowd energy or big show feeling made it more of a chore to watch at times. It definitely has its moments though, and I didn’t hate it by any means. Check out the main event for sure though, probably with some friends to watch with you, and have a good time.

Results

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross b. Kabuki Warriors – Twisted Bliss to Sane

Elias b. King Corbin – Rollup with tights

Becky Lynch b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Sami Zayn b. Daniel Bryan – Helluva Kick

John Morrison b. Kofi Kingston and Jimmy Uso – Morrison pulled down the titles

Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins – Stunner

Braun Strowman b. Goldberg – Running powerslam

Undertaker b. AJ Styles – Undertaker buried Styles

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXV (2019 Redo): Special Moment! Special Moment!

Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 82,265
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

We’re back to this show after a year away and I’m not sure what to think about this one. I wasn’t in the stadium for this one and for once that is making me remember the show a little bit better. This whole thing is centered around a few matches, as Wrestlemania always tends to be. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Murphy is defending and this is during Nese’s (who won a tournament to get here) not so great face run. First good thing: there are a bunch of people in their seats already so the place doesn’t look ridiculous. Murphy misses a running knee at the bell so Nese hammers away in the corner and tells the fans that this is his Wrestlemania moment. A cartwheel off the apron lets Nese hit him in the jaw but Murphy grabs a fireman’s carry drop onto the corner (Colt Cabana’s Chicago Skyline) as we take a break.

Back with Murphy holding a chinlock but getting suplexed into the corner to cut things off. Some running elbows to the face rock Murphy and the Lionsault, with Murphy hanging in the ropes, gets two. Nese catches him on the ropes with a palm strike, only to get pulled into a Cheeky Nandos kick. A powerbomb into a spinning faceplant gives Murphy two as we get the “still filing in line” from commentary. Murphy’s Law is countered and Nese hits a reverse hurricanrana to put them both down again.

Murphy wins a strike off but Nese is right back with a sunset driver for his own near fall as the fans are finally getting into this. The running Nese doesn’t get to launch so Nese hits the Fosbury Flop instead. Back in and the 450 gets two in a surprising near fall. The jumping knee connects out of nowhere and Murphy’s Law gets two as Nese gets a foot on the rope. Ever the villain, Murphy tries his own running Nese, which is cut off by a superkick. The real running Nese finishes Murphy at 10:44.

Rating: C. The 205 Live guys had several matches that would blow this one away but at least they had a nice moment in the end with the fans getting into things. Nese as a face didn’t exactly click but beating Murphy felt like a bit deal. It’s a nice mini feel good moment to start what is going to be a long night.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Zelina Vega, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Ruby Riott, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Maria Kanellis, Asuka, Sonya Deville, Candice LeRae, Naomi, Nikki Cross, Lana, Dana Brooke, Mickie James

Only Naomi and Asuka get entrances. Nikki goes nuts to start and it’s a big brawl, as a battle royal should be. Maria is out in a hurry and Asuka knocks out Candice and Nikki back to back. Ember and Naomi trade hurricanranas until the former hits a quick springboard Eclipse on Lana. Another Eclipse gets rid of Naomi and there’s the real version to Mandy. Ember goes up again but Lana (the one in the designated Captain Marvel attire) shoves her out.

Sane hits an Alabama Slam on Lana and goes up like a schnook, only to get shoved to the apron by Logan. Even the bigger schnook, Logan doesn’t eliminate her but rather joins the rest of the Riott Squad to go after Lana. The elimination doesn’t take long but Sane drops Logan. The Insane Elbow connects, only t have the Squad get together and eliminate Sane without much trouble. An assisted flipping Stunner rocks Vega but AGAIN Logan doesn’t get the elimination.

Instead the Squad goes after Asuka and again they don’t eliminate her. Brooke gets to fight off all three of them and manages a slow motion Thesz press on Morgan. Riott goes after Brooke and gets tossed, with Morgan following her out. Brooke’s handspring elbow hits Vega’s knees though and the running knees in the corner make it worse. Rose and Deville get rid of Vega and Brooke, meaning we can get a big hug.

We’re down to Rose, Deville, Asuka, James, Logan and Carmella, the latter of whom seems to be on the floor because that’s something you have to have in battle royals these days. James hurricanranas Rose to the apron and superkicks her out, only to get dropped by Deville. Asuka beats up Logan and Deville at once but she manages to toss Deville. Logan gets rid of Asuka but, say it with me, Carmella is still in and superkicks Logan out for the win at 10:33.

Rating: D. Holy sweet goodness I can’t stand that finish and yet we seem to get it in every few battle royals (including last year’s women’s battle royal). I know Carmella getting the win is for the sake of the New York fans but egads this feels like a waste of a match, which tends to be the case with so many of these pre-show battle royals. In other words: more of the same stuff that wasn’t good in the first place.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Revival is defending and picked the match because they thought it would be an easy win. See, Hawkins hasn’t won a match in two and a half years so of course he gets a Wrestlemania title shot (you have to keep the New York crowd happy you see). Dawson shoves Hawkins down to start and then pats him on the cheek in the corner. We get a recap of the Edgeheads as Dawson headlocks Hawkins down.

Ryder comes in as we hear about how the show in “the shadow of New York”, which is acknowledged as New Jersey, likely for one of the only times tonight. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Wilder down but Dawson low bridges him out to the floor. Something close to a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two and the armbar goes on. Dawson comes back in and rips at the face before working on his own armbar.

That’s enough of that so Wilder grabs another armbar (he’s up 2-1 on Dawson) to keep Ryder down. Ryder fights up again but neckbreakers his way out of a double suplex. With Hawkins being distracted, the champs cheat to set up a hard clothesline for two more. The assisted legdrop gives Wilder two and we hit the chinlock as this keeps going. Ryder finally suplexes his way to freedom and there’s the hot tag to Hawkins.

House is cleaned until it’s a double clothesline to put Hawkins and Dawson down at the same time. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson but Ryder and Wilder crash out to the floor. Wilder saves Dawson at two and tornado DDTs Ryder on the floor. A brainbuster drops Hawkins outside as well and they’re all down for a bit. Back in and Hawkins is dead but manages a small package for the pin and the titles at 13:20. Hawkins slowly realizing that not only is the match over but that they won is kind of awesome.

Rating: D+. This went on too long but the ending was fine after setting everything up for so long with the losing streak. Hawkins and Ryder are a likable team so it’s not like them winning the titles is a bad idea. Besides, WWE has already taken away anything that the Revival could offer (and yet it would still get worse) so the loss doesn’t do a ton of damage to them anyway.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Otis, Karl Anderson, Andrade, Gran Metalik, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, Colin Jost Jeff Hardy, No Way Jose, Lince Dorado, Bobby Roode, Konnor, Tyler Breeze, Viktor, Luke Harper, Ali, Apollo Crews, Michael Che, Titus O’Neil, Tucker, Braun Strowman, Shelton Benjamin, Jinder Mahal, Matt Hardy, Curtis Axel, Rhyno, Luke Gallows, EC3, Kalisto

So the big deal here is Jost and Che are from Saturday Night Live and Strowman doesn’t like them. The two of them bail to the floor and hide under the ring as Axel is out in about ten seconds. Dorado takes a SCARY bump to the floor with Breeze, EC3 and Benjamin following him out. There goes Dallas as well but it’s time for a staredown with Strowman and Harper.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Titus gets rid of Slater. As expected, Titus is out a few seconds later off a missed charge and Ali gets rid of Jose. Ascension sends Strowman shoulder first into the post for a crash to the floor (through the ropes so no elimination). Anderson isn’t so lucky as he gets tossed and the Hardys do the same to Rhyno. Roode and Metalik are out next as the ring is starting to empty a bit.

Andrade tosses Kalisto onto Metalik but Gable rolls Andrade with German suplexes. Since it’s Gable though, Andrade throws him out in a hurry, leaving Otis to hit a double Caterpillar on the Ascension. They’re both out as well but Strowman is back in to get rid of Gallows, Tucker and Otis in a row. There goes Mahal as Harper tries to suplex Ali over the top. With Ali hanging upside down, Strowman kicks Harper out, nearly dropping Ali on his head in a very near miss.

We’re down to Strowman, Andrade, Matt, Jeff and Crews in the ring with Che and Jost still underneath the ring. Andrade and Crews go to the apron and Andrade tries a hurricanrana for no intelligent reason in a double elimination. Strowman puts the Hardys on the apron in the battle of North Carolina as Che and Jost get back inside. They can’t get rid of Strowman, who dumps the Hardys and is ready for the destruction.

Jost grabs a mic though and says this doesn’t need to end in violence. He presents his personal therapist, whose breathing exercises earn him a chokeslam. Che tries to eliminate himself but Strowman punches himself out instead. Strowman misses a charge and almost gets eliminated but powers through it and tosses Jost for the win at 10:27.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s stupid and the SNL guys added nothing to the whole thing but Strowman won in the end and there were some nice spots (granted they went with some scary ones) throughout. It isn’t anything better or worse than your usual “get them all in there” battle royal and it could have been worse. That’s high praise for something like this anymore.

And with that Smackdown length Kickoff Show out of the way, we can get on with the real show. Isn’t modern WWE great?

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful and we get the big helicopter flyover.

The opening video, complete with a WWE Presents, features the wrestlers talking about how Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage. Tonight, this is their stage and they are the players. We get the classic moments of course because this show is built around history. They do a good job of starting this slowly and then building it up into a big feeling. As usual, WWE’s promo videos are nothing short of incredible and somehow they manage to get better a lot of the time. That being said, wrestlers calling themselves storytellers doesn’t sound right.

Maybe it’s how many times I’ve heard the song on highlight packages since then, but that Love Runs Out theme song is really catchy.

Here’s Alexa Bliss, the host for the evening, to open things up. Bliss talks about how this show needs a goddess and if she snaps her fingers, she can make a Wrestlemania moment. A snap of her fingers produces Hulk Hogan, who is happy to be back here in the Silverdome. That gets a chuckle so then he calls it the MetLife Center in a joke that doesn’t go over as well. Hogan and Bliss pose together in a cute moment.

Hold on though as Paul Heyman storms out and says we’re doing the Universal Title match RIGHT NOW. The faster Lesnar wins, the faster he can go to Las Vegas where he is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending after winning the Royal Rumble and gets a big BEAST SLAYER intro. At least BURN IT DOWN gets a big reaction so they’re doing something right. Lesnar jumps him before the bell and knees Rollins off the apron. An F5 plants Rollins on the floor and a hard whip into the barricade makes it even worse. Rollins gets tossed over the announcers’ table as the beating is on in a big way. That’s not enough for Lesnar so he throws Rollins over another table before throwing Rollins inside.

Heyman and Lesnar talk the angry trash but it’s back to the floor before the opening bell. Cole: “Seth Rollins never had a chance!” And there’s your usual WWE line that gives away the ending. Brock throws Rollins over the announcers’ table for a third time and then through the cover of the announcers’ table. They go back in for the opening bell and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar: “SUPLEX CITY B******!” Give him his t-shirt money.

The second suplex sends him flying again as Cole brings up the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in. The F5 is countered though and Rollins gets in a low blow. That means a low superkick and three straight Stomps make Rollins champion at 2:30. It was an exciting start and the whole thing from Lesnar’s first attack ran about 7:00. They had to get the title onto Rollins here (though more importantly off of Lesnar) and this was certainly a memorable way to do it. Certainly more so than when they did it again in a longer form four and a half months later.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

This is your “here are two big names without much else to do” match. Orton eliminated him from the Elimination Chamber and they got in an argument about who built Smackdown. Orton’s big CGI snakes really don’t look great but those things are hit and miss for everyone. AJ headlocks him to start and is promptly driven into the corner. A very early threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the corner and it’s another standoff.

Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick to take over, including a boot across the eye to make it even worse. AJ gets in his own dropkick though as they’re pretty even in the early minutes. With Orton taking a breather on the floor, AJ scores with the slingshot forearm, only to get knocked off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and the chinlock goes on as the fans start chanting something I can’t understand.

That’s broken up so AJ hits the sliding forearm, setting up the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. An early Styles Clash attempt is countered into a powerslam to give Orton his own near fall as the slow pace continues. The Calf Crusher attempt is countered without much trouble but the second attempt is slapped on in the middle of the ring. Not that the fans are exactly interested but AJ did get it on. That’s broken up in a hurry so AJ heads to the apron for the Phenomenal Forearm.

Orton jumps up to RKO him out of the air (as he had done last week) but AJ holds back, leaving Orton to crash. The springboard 450 gets two but Orton is right back with the backbreaker. Orton’s rather good looking top rope superplex has AJ crashing down for two and an uppercut gets a crazy loud pop (that had to be for something else). The hanging DDT gets no reaction but Orton walking around does, as I’m almost scared to imagine what had the fans’ attention.

AJ hits an enziguri to block the RKO, only to walk into it on the second attempt. That’s only good for two as well and Orton is shocked. With nothing else working, Orton loads up a super RKO, which is escaped without a lot of effort. A Pele sends Orton to the floor and the Phenomenal Forearm knock him even sillier. Back in and Orton still can’t hit the RKO, meaning it’s another Phenomenal Forearm to give AJ the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C-. Things got a bit better by the end but it never got going at any intense level. These two are capable of a lot but it was rather slow paced for the most part and when the match is going that long, it can get pretty tiresome in a hurry. It’s not bad in any sense but it wasn’t exciting and you know these two could do a lot better. That makes it more frustrating than anything else, as I kept waiting for them to get going and they never really did.

Here’s Lacey Evans to continue doing her thing of walking around, smiling, and then walking back.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bar vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

The Usos are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. There is something so awesome about seeing the look on Ricochet’s face as he walks onto the stage. You can see what it means to him and there is no faking that kind of a feeling. This also marks Ricochet and Black’s third shot at different titles this week, after Raw and NXT title shots earlier in the week. Jimmy and Black start things off with a feeling out process until Sheamus tags himself in to face Black.

The armbar doesn’t last long as Rusev tags Sheamus and runs Black over. Nakamura comes in for a kick to the back but the rapid fire tags continue, with Jimmy coming in to Samoa drop Black. Nakamura kicks Jimmy into a tag to Ricochet, who does a very spinny headscissors on Cesaro. Since it’s just a headscissors though, Cesaro uppercuts Ricochet down and starts swinging him, as Sheamus forearms everyone else.

After a nearly 40 second swing (geez), the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring. Black makes the save and strikes away, setting up a springboard moonsault for two on Rusev. Nakamura is back in with some running knees to Black, meaning Ricochet has to make a save of his own. That earns him a swinging Rock Bottom from Rusev and it’s time for the nine man Tower of Doom. Just to show off, Ricochet flips out and lands safely in the corner, setting up the 630 for two on Sheamus. We hit the parade of kicks to the face with the Usos superkicking Sheamus down. The Double Us retains the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B. This was almost all action from bell to bell and that’s all you can do with a match like this one. Let them do whatever they want and get in spot after spot for a little while. They didn’t overstay their welcome either, as this match got in the right amount of time. Good stuff here and one of the more entertaining things all night so far.

Hall of Fame recap. Thankfully Bret being attacked isn’t mentioned whatsoever.

Here’s the class being presented in the stadium:

Honky Tonk Man (How was he not in yet?)

Harlem Heat (Perfectly fine.)

Torrie Wilson (The new low benchmark.)

Brutus Beefcake (Again, how was he not in yet?)

Hart Foundation (Should have been earlier so Neidhart could be there but long overdue as well.)

Sue Aitchison (Warrior Award.)

D-Generation X (I’m sure they had to twist their arms to get here. Deserved of course.)

We recap Miz vs. Shane McMahon. Somehow Shane won the World Cup despite not being in the tournament and Miz, the man he replaced in the finals, was jealous. Miz’s dad thought they should team together so they won the Tag Team Titles. The reign didn’t last long though and they split up, with Shane turning on Miz. Tonight, it’s Falls Count Anywhere. This was in the middle of Shane’s RIDICULOUS run near the top of Smackdown where he was all over the show and beating main eventers, including that Tag Team Title win. Of course he gets a big Wrestlemania match, because that’s what makes sense for such a star.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere, but hang on as Shane needs to hear his introduction three times in a row. With that out of the way, Shane bails to the floor at the bell so the chase is on, with Shane hitting his horrible punches. In a smart move, Shane grabs Miz’s dad (in the front row) and again, the chase goes badly for Miz as Shane hammers away. They head outside again with Shane loading up the announcers’ table.

A monitor shot to the head puts Miz on the table but Miz’s dad blocks the big elbow. Shane gets down so Miz’s dad gets inside for the showdown, with Miz’s dad doing the pose that launched a subplot on the upcoming season of Miz and Mrs. Shane takes him into the corner and stomps away, drawing Miz back in for the beating. They fight to to the floor with Shane falling over the barricade but hold on as Miz wants someone to check on his dad.

With the medics doing their job, Miz dives over the barricade to take Shane down again. They fight over towards one of the big pillars that holds up the canopy over the ring but Shane fights out of the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead Shane grabs a DDT for two but Miz kicks him down off the stage. Shane is sent knee first into a barricade and Miz beats on him with a chair to blow off some more steam.

They wreck announcers’ row with Miz throwing him over every chair he can find, plus throwing some chairs around. Shane gets sent through a table for two, followed by a monitor shot to knock him over a barricade and onto the top of a well placed golf cart. That gives Miz a delayed two so he punches Shane up towards a production tower. A Skull Crushing Finale onto the platform gets two, because he’s Shane and Miz is just a former World Champion.

Shane fights back (of course) and climbs up to the top of the tower. Miz pursues so Shane begs off, even dropping to one knee. That earns him some left hands to the head and Miz superplexes him all the way down (after asking if Shane is ready) onto a crash pad. Worry not though as Shane lands on top for the pin at 15:25.

Rating: D-. I knew the ending was coming here and I still shake my head at the ending. Shane is the boss’ son but my goodness how hard can you push him? The worst part is that it is only going to get worse as the summer goes on, but this was a punch to the gut as Shane wins AGAIN, meaning he isn’t going away anytime soon. The superplex was a nice idea but showing the landing on the pad (which just happened to be there) took away all of the impact that it had. That is, whatever was left before Shane won of course.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

Banks and Bayley are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Bret Hart is here with Beth and Natalya (who really feel like fill ins for Trish Stratus/Lita), though he doesn’t go beyond the stage. Tamina shoves Bayley down to start and superkicks Natalya for a bonus. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Nia being sent outside for a ram into the steps. Back in and Peyton rolls Sasha up for two and it’s a double kick to put drop Sasha again.

The Hardys’ Spin Cycle gets two on Banks but she’s right back with a backslide for the same. It’s back to Bayley for a sliding clothesline for two on Beth but Billie tags herself in. The IIconics take over on Beth, who is right back with a suplex to both of them at once. Natalya comes in for two but Bayley makes a fast save. The champs get in a fight with Beth and Natalya and it’s a Bank Statement to Phoenix. That’s broken up but the Glam Slam is countered into a rollup into the corner.

Natalya drops Sasha onto Bayley and they get the always fairly dumb looking double Sharpshooter treatment. This time it’s Tamina making the save and Nia comes back in to wreck everyone else. The IIconics get crushed with stereo Samoan drops but Beth shoves Nia off the top to break up a splash. Sasha takes Beth down as well and Bayley drops the top rope elbow, followed by Banks’ frog splash. The Tower of Doom is broken up so Beth hits a super Glam Slam on Bayley, with Kay making a blind tag. With Beth sent outside, Kay steals the pin and the titles at 10:47.

Rating: D. This went on too long and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. The titles were brand new at this point and they already seemed pretty worthless, which would be proven over the next year. The fallout here is more interesting than the match itself, as you Nia would go away for about a year with double ACL surgery and Sasha (allegedly) threw a fit over losing and took the summer off.

The pilots from the Kickoff Show flyover are in the crowd. That’s always cool.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Kofi replaced the injured Ali in the Elimination Chamber and got down to the final two. That set up one of the most dramatic things that WWE has ever done, as Kofi got inches away from winning the title and the fans ate it up. It was clear that Kofi had to get the title at Wrestlemania or he never would, which sent Kofi and New Day into a crusade to finally get the title shot that had eluded him for eleven years.

After jumping through all kinds of hoops set by Vince McMahon, it took New Day winning a gauntlet match to get the shot, with their longtime rivals the Usos stepping aside in a great show of respect for Kofi. At the same time, Bryan said that Kofi was a B+ player in an awesome role reversal from his legendary run five years earlier.

The match was finally set and it was a heck of a story, as Kofi had put in so many years of building credibility to get here and was finally cashing in. This wasn’t JBL jumping up to the main event scene, as Kofi had pretty much won every title other than the World Title. That’s not a big jump, but it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger here. In other words, this was EXCELLENT and would have headlined any other year.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging and has New Day in his corner, while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a gift for Kofi and promises it for after the match. I had forgotten how nice of a touch Bryan’s eco-friendly belt really was. They stare each other down to start and the fans are behind Kofi, which is almost hard to fathom until you realize that Bryan might be a better heel than face. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get anywhere so they fight over a backslide. Bryan monkey flips him so Kofi lands on his feet, setting up a dropkick to the floor.

The big dive takes Bryan down again and the roster is behind Kofi in the back. Things slow down a bit as Bryan needs a breather with Rowan. Back in and Bryan uppercuts him a few times to set up the surfboard, which always looks awesome. That’s broken up in a hurry as usual, allowing Kofi to kick away in the corner. Bryan’s moonsault into the running clothesline is countered into something resembling the standing double stomp (almost a Thesz press as Kofi can’t hit it properly) for two.

Kofi’s jumping clothesline works a bit better and the Boom Drop connects. Bryan heads outside again so Kofi tries a springboard dive, which lands ribs first on the announcers’ table. You don’t have to ask Bryan twice to go after the ribs like that so he drops Kofi ribs first across the top rope. The ribs get sent into the corner and it’s off to a waistlock, which works a lot better this time around. Kofi fights up and elbows in the corner but a very quick Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Boston crab.

Bryan’s belly to back superplex is broken up with elbows to the face and Kofi hits a top rope splash to the back for two. They slug it out but Trouble in Paradise is countered again, only to countered into a small package to give Kofi two more. Kofi’s crossbody is rolled through though and Bryan pulls him into a failed LeBell Lock attempt so they’re both down for a second. The running knee is countered into the SOS but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock, with Bryan letting go for some more elbows to the ribs.

Kofi finally gets his foot on the rope and you can hear the sigh of relief. Bryan YES Kicks at the ribs even more but Kofi fires up and tells Bryan to kick him even harder. As Bryan backs away, Kofi throws his own kicks and busts out a reverse suplex for two. They head outside again so Rowan can go after New Day, earning himself Trouble in Paradise. The Midnight Hour on the floor takes care of Rowan and Kofi blocks Bryan’s suicide dive.

Back in and Bryan hits the running knee…..for two and a big pop on the kickout. Bryan has had it and unloads with stomps to the head to set up the LeBell Lock. Kofi breaks out again and blasts Bryan with forearms to the face with more aggression than you usually see from him. Bryan won’t let go of the wrist so Kofi stomps him right back, knocking Bryan silly. Trouble in Paradise gives Kofi the clean pin and the title at 23:45.

Rating: A. That is the definition of the Wrestlemania moment and it holds up to perfection a year later. The fans completely bought into the idea of Kofi fighting through everything and winning the title in the end and that’s all it should have been. Kofi is the kind of guy who has been around forever and built up so much good will that when he finally went after the title, everyone was on his side. That made for a special moment and it was amazing throughout as it’s something that I never thought I would see, but here it is. That’s a great thing to see as rare as it can be.

On top of that, this was an awesome match with both guys giving it everything they had. The story here was perfect with Kofi not being the wrestler Bryan was but knowing that this was his one shot and giving everything he had to achieve his dream when he could. The fans believed in him and there was no way he could lose in this spot. Outstanding stuff and if not for the historic main event, this would have headlined in a landslide. Watch this again and smile a lot.

Post match Woods and Big E. pull out the classic WWE Championship and hand it to Kofi for the first time (Kofi kneeling in the ring and waiting to have it presented to him is a great visual). The pyro goes off and Kofi’s sons get in the ring to celebrate with him and one of them holds up the title, which is almost bigger than he is. We’re not done yet though as Big E. brings in the present from earlier. It’s the first New Day shirt featuring Kofi as champion and his kids get to hold them up for a perfect visual. Woods: “THEY SAID WE COULDN’T MAKE IT! WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!” Outstanding.

Che and Jost are banged up so Bliss introduces them to Dr. Scott Hall and Dr. Kevin Nash. Ok then.

Booker T. is the next guest commentator.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and this year’s comic gear is…..well Mysterio appropriately enough. Now how did he never do that one before? Joe kicks him in the face but Rey is right back with the springboard hurricanrana. The 619 connects but Joe pulls him out of the air into the Koquina Clutch and Rey is out at 1:00, which may have something to do with Rey injuring his ankle on Monday. Booker being annoyed at wasting all the time on prep work is good for a chuckle.

Sneak peak of Batista’s new movie Stuber.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns returned from leukemia after a four month absence and he needs a first victim. Drew has run through the rest of the Shield as a bonus. This is your likely layup result of the show and that’s fine.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew gets played to the ring by the New York Bagpipe Band. They trade shots to the face to start so Reigns snaps off a Samoan drop for an early two. McIntyre is right back with a spinebuster into a jackknife cover for two of his own. The Glasgow Kiss knocks Reigns down again and McIntyre throws him into the corner for two. The chinlock/armbar goes on until Reigns powers out and knocks him to the floor. Reigns’ running kick to the face is blocked though and McIntyre suplexes him down.

Back in and the reverse Alabama slam gives McIntyre two so he takes Reigns up top. That earns him a crotching, only to have Drew pull himself up from the Tree of Woe to send Reigns flying with a belly to belly superplex. Reasons of general heelishness cause McIntyre to slap him in the face, meaning the comeback is on. McIntyre gets knocked outside again for the Samoan drop on the floor, followed by the Superman Punch back inside. The spear finishes McIntyre at 10:06.

Rating: D. The fans didn’t care and why should they have? As usual, it was clear that Reigns was going to win and that happens far too often at Wrestlemania. It’s amazing that Reigns got to come back here but it’s Reigns, who almost always wins, winning again in a match where the ending was obvious throughout. Nothing to see here, and the fans were silent throughout.

Post match Reigns gets to pose in a rather emotional moment.

Here’s Elias for his self described greatest performance ever. He’s on screen playing drums, with a second Elias joining him on piano and the real thing in the ring playing guitar. They jam for a bit and guitar Elias says the other two deserve a standing ovation. Elias teases more members of the band and gets in his catchphrase before loading up the song….but here’s a SPECIAL BULLETIN on Babe Ruth calling his shot in the 1932 World Series.

Cue John Cena in Dr. of Thuganomics gear and the fans seem rather pleased. Cena raps about how he’s about to turn heel and how bad his own movies are. WWE doesn’t stand for Walk With Elias because it really means Wasted Wrestling Experiment. We get a nuts joke, followed by the FU to leave Elias laying. They have history together so this was as good as you were going to get. This was funny for a change if nothing else and that’s a cool Wrestlemania feeling.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Back at Smackdown 1000, Batista had mentioned that HHH never beat him but laughed it off. Then in February, Ric Flair was having a 70th birthday celebration but Batista attacked him, while asking HHH if he had his attention. This set up the match, with Batista demanding that HHH give him what he wanted (over and over and over). HHH has put up his career just in case the ending was in the slightest bit of doubt.

Shawn Michaels is guest commentator.

Batista vs. HHH

No holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista goes out to glare at Shawn but here’s HHH, riding in a Mad Max style cart because of course he is. Batista drives him straight into the corner to start so HHH is back with some right hands to the face. A backdrop sends Batista outside but he throws HHH over the announcers’ table in a crash. HHH is right back up with a ram into the barricade and busts out a chain to whip Batista over the back.

The chain is pulled into Batista’s mouth (Shawn: “That’s not going to help his movie career.”) and HHH whips him into the steps. To ramp up the pain, HHH busts out some pliers to bend Batista’s fingers around a bit. HHH isn’t done with the toolbox so he grabs some needle nose pliers and ribs Batista’s nose ring out. To be fair, that thing looked horrible. Cole: “HHH just ripped a nose ring out of the nose of Batista.” So the nose ring in his ear is still intact.

Batista’s nose is good enough to drop HHH onto the announcers’ table and then he does it again onto a different one. A chair to the back sets up the shoulders in the corner for two as things have slowed way down. Batista slams him down for two more and let’s go outside again. The steps are set on the table and another table is cleared off as this is taking quite a long time for one big spot.

The huge Batista Bomb through the table is countered with a backdrop onto (not through) the other table and they’re both down again. HHH gets up, spinebusters him through the table, and we get another breather. HHH pulls out the sledgehammer but it’s a spear to cut him down for two. This time it’s HHH knocking the sledgehammer away from Batista, earning himself a spinebuster in the process. The Batista Bomb, which makes HHH drop the sledgehammer again, connects for two.

With nothing else working, Batista brings in the steps but goes up top for some reason. That reason would be so HHH can powerbomb him onto the steps, setting up a Pedigree for two (Because this MUST KEEP GOING!). They’re both down again so here’s Flair to slip HHH the sledgehammer. HHH gets up and uses the steps as a launchpad to hammer Batista in the head. Since that’s not enough to pin him (or KILL HIM as it probably should have), Batista pops up to take the Pedigree for the pin at 25:45.

Rating: D. Why does HHH do this? They could have had the same match with at least ten minutes chopped off but for some reason we needed to get HHH’s latest big epic match, no matter how much people aren’t interested in seeing it. This was terrible with Batista looking like a shell of his glory days (fair enough) and the match going WAY longer than it should have. Horrible match, and did you expect anything else given this style of match’s history?

The B Team model Daniel Bryan WWE Champion shirts but here’s Ron Simmons for the joke.

JBL is your next guest commentator.

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

This is Angle’s retirement match as he can barely get in the ring without injuring himself these days and needs to limp away for good. Corbin is here because we all did something horrible in a past life. Angle goes after him to start but gets knocked into the corner to put him in early trouble. Corbin takes it to the corner and pounds away before mocking Angle’s family a bit. A missed middle rope ax handle sends Corbin throat first into the rope so Angle snaps off some suplexes for two.

Angle walks into a big boot but is fine enough to grab a quickly broken ankle lock. Deep Six gives Corbin two more but he misses a charge, allowing the Angle Slam to connect for two. The straps come down and the ankle lock goes on until Corbin rolls him into the corner for the break. Corbin throws in a You Can’t See Me so Angle punches him into more rolling German suplexes. The moonsault misses though and the End of Days finishes Kurt’s career at 5:59.

Rating: D. Angle does seem fine with putting Corbin over on the way out but this was another step in the seemingly eternal nonsense that was/is the Corbin push. It’s a lot to take and while I can live with Angle going out on his back, it’s a lot to take because Corbin really is going way above his pay grade every time he’s in a match like this.

Post match Angle thanks the fans and asks for one more YOU SUCK chant for the road.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with Lio Rush, is defending and they’ve traded the title, so tonight it’s the Demon to make the match feel big. Balor gets a special entrance by coming down off a raised platform, though it’s not as creepy as his NXT entrances. Lashley has very bright green contacts in for some reason. Some early dropkicks put Lashley on the floor and Balor takes him out with a dive for a bonus.

A hard drive into the apron cuts Balor off though and there’s a suplex to make it worse. Lashley clotheslines him hard to the floor but a Sling Blade gets Balor out of trouble. Rush’s distraction lets Lashley hit a HARD spear through the ropes though and a regular one gets two back inside. Balor fights out of a powerbomb and hits one of his own, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 4:01.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for something that was going so fast but at the same time, the booking still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Balor has already shown that he can beat Lashley so now he needs to bring up the powers to win? And the extraordinary thing was just a powerbomb? I’m glad to see the Demon again but this wasn’t exactly the most logical thing in the world.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the attendance record of 82,265. Cue R-Truth and Carmella for the Wrestlemania Dance Break (Remember those?).

We recap the main event of Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte defending against Becky Lynch in a winner take all match. Rousey is the unstoppable force, Charlotte is Charlotte and Becky is here because she’s the hottest name in wrestling at the moment and won the Royal Rumble. Tonight the winner leaves with both titles and it’s the biggest women’s match in history.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging both. In a nod to her father and the Four Horsemen, Charlotte lance in a helicopter outside and walks into the stadium. Already inside, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts play Rousey to the ring. There is something so cool about watching Becky walk down the ramp in a wide shot as Cole talks about how she has started a movement. I’m not sure if that is the right term but it looked awesome. The bell rings and even a year later I still can’t believe this happened. The women’s division was a joke just a few years ago and now it’s the biggest match of the year. That’s hard to believe and it’s very cool.

They stare at each other for a good bit to start until Becky goes after Rousey’s arm. Rousey kicks her to the floor without much trouble and that means a Samoan drop into the barricade. Charlotte follows and takes Piper’s Pit but pops right back up for a fall away slam to send Rousey into the barricade for a change. That sets up the required Charlotte vs. Becky fight with Becky getting the better of things but can’t get the Figure Four, allowing Rousey to come and hammer away.

Charlotte breaks up an armbar attempt but gets pulled into a triangle choke over the ropes. Becky hits a running dropkick though and Rousey falls HARD onto the floor in a nasty crash. That leaves Charlotte to knee Becky in the head as the fans get behind Becky in a big way. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees and Becky gets the Disarm-Her but Rousey make the save in a hurry. A double Natural Selection gives Charlotte two each and it’s Becky going outside this time.

For some reason Charlotte tries to slug it out with Rousey, earning herself a knee to the head. Charlotte pulls her into a Boston crab, drawing Becky in for her own save. Becky and Charlotte slug it out again until Charlotte is sent to the apron. Charlotte gets caught up top with a super Bexploder for two but Rousey drops both of them with a high crossbody for a double near fall. The double armbar goes on so Becky and Charlotte powerbomb her for the break. It took three attempts but they finally got out.

Everyone is down for a bit until Becky hits a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte. Rousey goes after Becky and gets pulled straight into the Disarm-Her so she uses the ropes to power up in the corner. That’s fine with Becky, who puts it on again in the corner until Charlotte boots her in the face. Charlotte’s super Spanish Fly gets two but she might have banged up her knee. Rousey’s knee is banged up as well so Charlotte stomps away and grabs the Figure Four around the post.

After sending Becky into the barricade, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but Becky dives in off the top for another save. Just because, let’s bring in a table but Charlotte decks Becky for taking too long to set it up. Rousey shoves Charlotte off the top and turns the table over because she doesn’t need it. A double spear takes down Becky and Rousey so Charlotte sets up the table in the corner.

Charlotte sends Rousey face first into the table and spears Becky for two more. Back up and Charlotte gets hiptossed through the table, leaving Becky and Rousey to have the slugout we’ve been waiting for. They throw some serious hands but Piper’s Pit is countered into a crucifix (with Rousey’s shoulder a good six inches off the mat in a bad botch) to give Becky both titles at 21:28.

Rating: B. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t watch it in one sitting this time around but I liked the match a good bit better on a second viewing. These three beat each other up and while Becky winning was the presumed finish, it wasn’t entirely a lock given who she was in there against. It was a heck of a fight and the three of them all came out looking great. This is much more historic than good, but it’s really rather good and that’s always a positive way to go out.

Rousey is ticked as Becky celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The positives are better than the negatives but not by much. There are some flat out bad matches on here but they are overcome by some great feelings with the faces winning all of the big matches for a change. That felt like an old school style as for the first time in what felt like forever, they didn’t cut the fans off for the sake of dragging things out until later. For once it felt like a season finale and that’s what Wrestlemania should be when it gets the chance. Good show, but it could have been a lot better.

How you ask? CUT THE SHOW DOWN! Look at how long this show is and tell me that it’s well put together. There is no need for a sixteen match card, especially with some of the matches that feel tacked on. All three Tag Team Title matches feel like they’re here for the sake of being here and some of the matches just need to be shortened. Either that or find a way to get people to the ring faster. I know it seems simple but how much of these shows are spent on ring entrances alone? Just find a way to shorten things, please.

Overall there are more good things than bad, but this isn’t a show that you need to watch in one sitting. As soon as you get to the point where the show is five hours plus an episode of Smackdown before it starts (and a Smackdown with more wrestling than usual at that), you’re hitting a firm ceiling of how much you can enjoy this. I know you can’t cut out big chunks, but find a way to get this under six hours. Do that and it’s a lot better, but that has been the case for years now and it keeps getting longer. Either way, at least we had enough nice stuff on here, but don’t watch it all at once.

Ratings Comparison

Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: C+

Redo: C

Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Original: C

Redo: D+

Men’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar vs. Aleister Black/Ricochet

Original: C+

Redo: B

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Original: D

Redo: D

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

Redo: A

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

Original: C-

Redo: D

Batista vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: D

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: F

Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: C

Redo: C

Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same all around, but some of those earlier ones are a good bit off. Still though, too long, despite some of the very good parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxv-so-much-for-no-happy-endings/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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