Smackdown – December 2, 2022: What An Ucey Show

Smackdown
Date: December 2, 2022
Location: KeyBank Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

We are done with Survivor Series and on the long road to the Royal Rumble, as there is somehow no major event between now and the end of January. That is a lot of time to fill and first up we are probably going to be seeing the Bloodline celebrate their WarGames win. Other than that, the World Cup wraps up this week so let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is most of the Bloodline to get things going. After a WarGames recap, Sami Zayn praises the Usos but Jimmy cuts him off, saying tonight is about Zayn. On Saturday, Zayn was the MVP and the fans were chanting SAMI USO (as they do here). Jey says he didn’t like Sami for a long time but now Zayn has earned his respect and they won WarGames because of him. Jimmy asks Sami how he’s feeling and that would be pretty FREAKIN UCEY. We get a three way special handshake between the Usos and Zayn, who even dances a bit. Cue Sheamus to interrupt, saying he hates the idea of beating up a fellow ginger.

Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn

Their respective friends are here too as Sheamus runs him over to start. We get the Dublin Smile before Sami is sent outside, with Sheamus and company glaring at the Usos as we take a break. Back with Sheamus getting distracted by the Usos, allowing Sami to hit a DDT for two. A jumping kick to the face sets up the chinlock to keep Sheamus down, followed by a tornado DDT to give Sami two more.

In what doesn’t seem to be the best idea, Sami tries his own forearms to the chest, with Sheamus blocking them without much trouble. The powerslam and Irish Curse set up the Cloverleaf to put Zayn in a lot of trouble. A rope is grabbed and Sheamus is sent outside, setting up the running flip dive as we take another break.

Back again with Zayn grabbing a sunset bomb out of the corner for two. Sheamus grabs White Noise for two of his own and the ten forearms rock him again. The Usos offer a distraction so Sami can hit the Blue Thunder Bomb and the Brawling Brutes go after the brothers. Solo Sikoa comes in so the numbers came can beat down the Brutes. Sheamus hits the jumping knee and picks up Sami for no logical reason, allowing Jey Uso to superkick Sheamus into a rollup to give Sami the pin at 18:23.

Rating: B. They beat on each other rather well with Sami more than hanging in there until the finish. Sami beating Sheamus isn’t some huge upset but it does give him a win over a credible challenger. This got time and is a match that you don’t see that often, making this a rather nice opener as the fans continue to LOVE Zayn.

Santos Escobar and Legado del Fantasma are ready to prove how amazing they are, starting by winning the Intercontinental Title.

Kofi Kingston officially declares for the Royal Rumble and picks Ricochet to win the World Cup. Imperium comes in to mock Kofi, who is alone tonight but will fight either of them. Gunther pops up to accept that challenge and Kofi gets a bit more serious.

Bray Wyatt talks about how everyone has technology these days but we were all wild animals at one point. We were just creatures trying to survive and that includes him. He is not the man who hurt LA Knight, but if he had been, you would know, because there would be nothing of Knight left.

Emma and Madcap Moss make some googly eyes at each other in the back.

Emma vs. Shayna Baszler

Baszler doesn’t seem to think much of Emma, who grabs a rollup for an early two. A Russian legsweep gives Emma two but Baszler is right there on her arm. Back up and Emma uses the good arm for a clothesline, followed by a hanging neckbreaker for two. The Tarantula has Baszler in more trouble but she is able to catch Emma on top. The Kirifuda Clutch finishes Emma at 4:11.

Rating: C. Short and to the point here with Baszler weathering the storm and beating an opponent she should have beaten. Emma is in a story with Moss at the moment but that isn’t enough of a reason to have her beat someone like Baszler. At some point Emma is going to have to beat someone, but for now, Baszler getting the win makes a lot more sense.

Post match Shayna goes after her again but Shotzi runs in for the save. With Baszler about to break her arm, Raquel Rodriguez runs in for the real save.

Video on Lacey Evans training as part of the United States Marine Corps.

Video on Ricochet training to win the World Cup.

Kofi Kingston vs. Gunther

Non-title and Imperium is here with Gunther. Kofi strikes away to start but gets caught with a backbreaker. There’s a chop to put Kingston down but he low bridges Gunther to the apron. That doesn’t last long as Imperium offers a distraction. Cue Braun Strowman to take care of the two of them and the SOS gives Kingston two. We take a break and come back with Kofi fighting out of a sleeper and dropkicking the knee. A running forearm sets up the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses.

Instead Kofi kicks him in the head and hits a top rope splash to Gunther’s standing back. Kofi tries to go up again but this time gets chopped out of the air. A German suplex gives Gunther two and we hit the Boston crab. That’s escaped as well but another SOS is countered. The shotgun dropkick sends Kofi into the corner and the powerbomb….gets two. A powerslam (the Last Symphony) is enough to finish Kofi at 11:50.

Rating: B. I know Kingston can get some eye rolls for all of the rather goofy New Day stuff, but he can still wrestle a very good match against just about anyone. That is what you had here, as Kingston played a great David to Gunther’s Goliath. Gunther has figured out how to do this match as well as anyone right now, as he sells when he needs to sell and goes into a monster mode as needed as well. This was a very good match and I even bought that Kingston could get the big upset off that SOS.

Sami Zayn is ready to go eat and the Usos sent Solo Sikoa to watch his back. Jimmy and Jey can’t believe he has been accepted, but they’re willing to overlook him lying to Jey’s face last week. Sheamus runs in and beats them down with the shillelagh. Sheamus says he and Drew McIntyre will be waiting for them. Usos vs. Sheamus/McIntyre would be great for a big time TV main event.

Here is Damage Ctrl for a chat. Bayley rants about how they fought in WarGames and complains about how little respect they get for what they did. As for tonight, she isn’t impressed with the roster….but here is Liv Morgan to interrupt. 3-1 seems fair to Morgan so she charges the ring to fight all of them at once. This works for all of ten seconds until the beatdown is on. Cue the returning Tegan Nox for the save, with Morgan grabbing a kendo stick to even things up a bit more. That’s a cool return as Nox is another star who never got a real chance on the main roster.

Karrion Kross and Scarlett use tarot cards to say they’re coming for Rey Mysterio.

Here is what is coming on various shows, but Uncle Howdy interrupts to suggest that Bray Wyatt is a monster.

World Cup Finals: Ricochet vs. Santos Escobar

Legado del Fantasma is at ringside and Zelina Vega is on commentary. An early Legado distraction doesn’t work as Ricochet springboard dropkicks him to the floor, setting up a suicide dive. Back in and another Legado distraction works a bit better, as Ricochet’s springboard is broken up. That’s enough for mass ejections, leaving us one on one.

We take a break and come back with Ricochet fighting to his feel until stereo crossbodies put them both down. Escobar rolls to the floor so Ricochet follows and charges on the barricade. Things start going too fast and Ricochet has to put the brakes on, allowing Escobar to snap off a hurricanrana. Back in and Escobar tries another off the top, only to get shoved down.

Escobar rolls away before Ricochet can launch anything before going up top with Ricochet at the same time. A super hurricanrana doesn’t work on Ricochet as he sticks the landing, allowing him to take Escobar down again. The Lionsault gives Ricochet two and he dropkicks Escobar into the corner. The 630 only hits knees though in a rather nice fake out. Escobar’s poisonrana gets two more so they both go up top, with Ricochet hitting a super poisonrana. That’s enough to set up the 630 for the pin and the title shot at 21:47.

Rating: B+. Now that is a TV main event as you had two guys leaving everything they had in the ring because they were fighting for a prize. Ricochet winning was a strong moment as he plays the underdog so well, while Escobar looks like someone who can give anyone a run for their money around here. This version of Ricochet vs. Gunther could be great and I had a blast with the whole thing. Great match and an awesome end to the tournament.

Post match Ricochet gets the cup and Gunther comes out for the staredown (and the announcement that the title match is in two weeks) to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. You don’t get this kind of a TV show very often as it had three very good matches crammed into two hours. They went with the wrestling heavy show here after weeks of building up Survivor Series and it worked very well. With nothing to build to for weeks they are going to need a show or two like this and the good thing about WWE is they have the roster depth to make that work. Excellent show here and one of the better WWE TV shows in a good while.

Results
Sami Zayn b. Sheamus – Superkick from Jey Uso
Shayna Baszler b. Emma – Kirifuda Clutch
Gunther b. Kofi Kingston – Last Symphony
Ricochet b. Santos Escobar – 630

 

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Smackdown – November 18, 2022: Is He The Fifth Man?

Smackdown
Date: November 18, 2022
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

Survivor Series is next week and odds are we find out what we are going to be getting in the men’s WarGames match. You can probably guess one of the teams but we are going to need another team to oppose them. The rest of the show could use some work too though and we might be getting something like that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are the Brawling Brutes and Drew McIntyre for a chat, likely about their officially announced WarGames match against the Bloodline. Sheamus checks his mic in a callback to last week before asking how many times he and McIntyre have been to war. They have known each other for twenty years and it has created respect between them. Sheamus even had McIntyre as the best man at his wedding three weeks ago.

The fans chant UCEY but Sheamus says they want a Brutey. Drew: “Did you just say Brutey?” Sheamus wants McIntyre to be an honorary Brute in WarGames and McIntyre is down. Cool moment, though it might have been a bit better if they hadn’t shown McIntyre in the graphic when they came to the ring. They’re ready for WarGames, but they need a fifth member. That will be….interrupted by Sami Zayn, calling them “his dogs”.

Sami says the Bloodline is feeling pretty ucey about WarGames because you’re talking to the master strategist, the Honorary Uce and…..Ucey In The Sky With Diamonds. He guarantees that the Bloodline will win WarGames and if Butch is ready, they can go earlier than expected tonight. Sheamus thinks Sami will have a problem with the fifth man, because it’s the last person he’s going to expect. Sami continues to mine gold with Ucey, but they better have someone good for the fifth man.

Smackdown World Cup First Round: Mustafa Ali vs. Ricochet

Ali has taped up ribs after Bobby Lashley wrecked him on Raw and is wrestling against doctor’s/Ricochet’s recommendations. Ricochet takes him down to start and Ali’s ribs are already bothering him. Ali grabs him in the corner but a reluctant Ricochet elbows his way out of trouble. That doesn’t work for Ali, who hits him in the back of the head to take over. A top rope Backstabber sends Ricochet outside and we take a break.

Back with Ali in trouble off a superplex during the break but still managing a headscissors. A running dropkick sends Ricochet to the floor and a good looking sling shot dive….is pulled out of the air. Ricochet Michinoku Drivers him on the floor (ouch) but the Phoenix splash misses inside.

Ali’s Koji Clutch sends Ricochet over to the ropes so he blasts Ali with a heck of a discus lariat. A moonsault gives Ricochet two and he goes to the ribs to cut off Ali’s comeback. The ribs are fine enough to grab a tornado DDT but the 450 takes too long to set up. Ricochet goes up as Ali is getting to his feet and hits a shooting star crossbody (Kind of?) to finish Ali at 11:02.

Rating: B-. Ali was selling the heck out of his ribs here and even teased going to the dark side to compensate for his injury. That being said, there was no reason to have Ricochet even come close to losing here so they went with the smart idea. Ricochet was even mocked by Gunther last week so he has a personal reason to keep moving forward.

Respect is shown post match.

Jey Uso yells at Sami Zayn for speaking for the Bloodline and guaranteeing a win in WarGames. Jimmy finally gets involved and says they need to be on the same page before Roman Reigns arrives. Sami is told to chill and seems ok, complete with a special handshake with Jimmy as Jey glares.

We look at the Usos retaining over the New Day last week.

New Day is disappointed but Imperium comes in to say New Day is everything wrong with wrestling. Woods says they’ll get a partner.

Emma gives Madcap Moss some water as Moss is upset over getting choked out three weeks ago. She seems to believe in him.

Madcap Moss vs. Karrion Kross

Scarlett is here with Kross. Moss goes right after him to start and stomps away in the corner as we get a graphic with both of their names and faces. Simple, effective, tells fans who they are without wasting any time. Do more things like that. Back up and Kross runs him over, setting up a release tiger suplex. Scarlett even gets in a slap, which fires Moss up enough to run Kross over with a shoulder. Some running shoulders in the corner have Kross in trouble but a Scarlett distraction lets Kross get in a cheap shot. The Krossjacket goes on and Moss can’t power out, setting up the tap at 3:45.

Rating: C. This was more about dealing with Moss having troubles lately and needing someone, perhaps like Emma, to help him with those troubles. At the same time, Kross seems destined to move on to something bigger so there was no reason for him to be in trouble here. Moss did his thing but Kross weathered the storm and won, like he should have.

Kross takes his time letting go and Emma runs down to check on Moss.

Here is Bray Wyatt to make amends. Bray talks about being conditioned a certain way and it makes you feel like changing is impossible. Then last week he got a little too violent on LA Knight and wants to apologize. Cue Knight, who says that he might have earned some respect by not being afraid of Wyatt last week. Knight says respect is the most valuable quantity around here and slaps Wyatt in the face. That makes them even but Wyatt looks ready to snap.

Wyatt says ok, they’re even, and he’s going to fight the urges of what he wants to do to Knight. Now though, Knight has a decision to make that will affect the rest of his life. Wyatt extends his hand but Knight slaps him again, saying he has been waiting all week to do that. Wyatt stares him down as the Titantron behind Knight starts to go all wacky. This should work well for Wyatt’s first match back.

We look back at Shayna Baszler and Ronda Rousey beating down Shotzi last week.

The Usos ask Karrion Kross if he is the fifth member but Jimmy doesn’t think so. Kross says he isn’t a follower but he’ll come for Roman Reigns’ titles on his own time.

Shayna Baszler vs. Shotzi

Ronda Rousey is here with Baszler. Baszler knocks her down to start and strikes away until Shotzi fights up. Rousey trips Shotzi up though and the beating is back on. Shotzi fights up again but this time Rousey messes with the hair. An enziguri gets Shotzi out of trouble but she goes after Rousey, allowing Shayna to grab a German suplex.

Shotzi makes her third comeback with the hip attack against the ropes but Rousey offers her fourth distraction so Shayna can knocks Shotzi into the corner. Cue Raquel Rodriguez to even things up so Shayna yells at her. That’s enough of a distraction for Shotzi to avoid the arm stomp and roll Shayna up for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C+. The action here was just ok but they put the match together well. Yes Shotzi won off a distraction rollup, but it was a case of her fighting through a lot of cheating before winning when things evened out a bit. Also note that Rodriguez didn’t do anything to Baszler, who got mad all on her own. This kept Shotzi looking strong, even if she is going to get smashed by Rousey.

LA Knight tries to leave, but he is NOT scared of Bray Wyatt.

Post break and Knight is out cold in the back with a bunch of stuff on top of him.

Imperium vs. New Day/Braun Strowman

The brawl is on before the bell and Kofi tries the trust fall, only to get pulled out of the air. Imperium drops him onto the apron so Woods loads up a dive of his own. Gunther cuts that off with a chop but Strowman comes in and we ring the bell. That’s enough for Gunther to bail as we take an early break.

Back with Woods fighting out of trouble and kicking Kaiser away, allowing the tag off to Strowman. Gunther comes in as well and Strowman chases him around the ring, shouldering various people down on the way. Back in and Gunther has to escape a powerslam, setting up the big chop. A spinebuster gives Strowman two but Gunther slips out of the Monster Bomb. The double tag brings in Kaiser and Kofi but a blind tag allows Woods to hit the Midnight Hour for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C+. This was a fun one with Strowman coming in as the wrecking machine that even has Gunther thinking twice. They are doing a very nice job of tying the tournament in to other stuff so that it feels more important, along with teasing people going after Gunther. Some interference next week to cost Strowman the match wouldn’t shock me and WWE planted the seeds for it here.

Strowman heads to the back where he runs into Ricochet, who doesn’t think Strowman is winning the tournament. Ricochet dubs himself a flippy flipper (Ricochet: “Your words not mine”) and says Strowman will have some trouble with him.

Smackdown World Cup First Round: Sami Zayn vs. Pete Dunne

The respective groups are here too. Butch hammers away to start but charges into a powerbomb. That’s enough for Dunne to be sent outside but he’s right back in with a tornado DDT for two. Sami knocks him outside and we take an early break. Back with Sami hitting the Blue Thunder Bomb as everyone else gets in a fight on the floor. Sami cuts off a comeback with an exploder suplex into the corner but Sheamus throws Jey Uso inside, breaking up the Helluva Kick. The Bitter End gives Butch the pin at 7:49.

Rating: C+. There is only so much you can get when such a big chunk of the match was taking place during the break. Butch winning is going to cause some problems with the Bloodline and that is where things should get interesting. Sami is someone who can lose a match or two and not be hurt, so Butch going forward was the right move.

Post match the big brawl stays on but Roman Reigns comes out to wreck things. McIntyre takes the shirt off and wants the big fight but Solo Sikoa offers a distraction. The spear drops McIntyre so Sheamus wants a fight of his own. The slugout is on with Reigns hitting a Superman Punch….and it’s Kevin Owens (limping a bit) for the staredown with Reigns, apparently as the fifth man.

The knee is good enough to hit a superkick on Jimmy Uso before Owens goes inside for the fight with Reigns. After Roman is cleared out, Sami comes in for the big distraction, allowing Reigns to hit the Superman Punch on Owens. The spear is cut off though and it’s a Stunner to Reigns to end the show. They’re doing a great job of building up an army of people who could take the title from Reigns. The walls might be starting to close in.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show where it was more about setting things up for later rather than what was going on here. That is the kind of show you need at times and they made it work well this week. What mattered here was setting up WarGames but also making the tournament feel that much more important. Tournaments matches are tied into something else or at least build up in some way and now that is paying some dividends. This might not have been the best show, but it was a very well set up one.

Results
Ricochet b. Mustafa Ali – Shooting star press
Karrion Kross b. Madcap Moss – Krossjacket
Shotzi b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup
New Day/Braun Strowman b. Imperium – Midnight Hour to Kaiser
Butch b. Sami Zayn – Bitter End

 

 

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Smackdown – November 11, 2022: The Biggest Change (I Hope)

Smackdown
Date: November 11, 2022
Location: Gainbridge Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

We have just over two weeks to go before Survivor Series and that card has started to come together. We have most of the participants set for the women’s WarGames match so maybe this week we can get someone set up for the men’s. Other than that, New Day is challenging the Usos in the hopes of saving their Tag Team Title record. Let’s get to it.

Here is Crown Jewel if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns retaining the World Title over Logan Paul at Crown Jewel.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

The Usos are defending and they’re starting big here. Jey, with his hand taped, starts with Woods and they stare each other down a bit. Woods grabs a headlock as we hear about the histories between the teams. Kofi springboards in with a crossbody for two on Jey but it’s off to Jimmy with a right hand to the face. Everything breaks down and Kofi hits a Trust Fall onto both Usos as we take a break.

We come back with Jey hitting a suicide dive to send Kofi into the barricade and then whipping him into it again for a bonus. The fans want Sami, who is apparently missing due to a personal issue. We slow down a bit to Kofi being sent into the corner, setting up a wishbone leg split. A middle rope dropkick gets Kofi out of trouble though and Jey gets kicked away, only to have Jimmy pull Woods off the apron in a classic move. The pop up neckbreaker gives Jey two and we take a break.

Back again with Kofi fighting out of a chinlock and making the hot tag to Woods so house can be cleaned. Kofi hits a splash to set up a good looking Woods top rope legdrop for two. The Boom Drop connects on Jimmy but Jey makes a blind tag. That’s fine with Kofi who hits the SOS for two. Frustration is setting in as it’s off to Woods, who gets superkicked down to set up the double Superfly Splash. The 1D is broken up though and the Midnight Hour hits Jey on the floor.

Back in and a tornado DDT to Jimmy sets up the Midnight Hour for two as Jey makes a VERY last second save for two. The four of them stand up and slug it out with Woods being sent outside and superkicked over the barricade. That leaves Kofi to be sat up top where he goes old school with a double noggin knocker. Kofi tries a diving something, only to land in the 1D to retain the titles at 23:47.

Rating: A-. Yeah these guys are awesome together and this was no exception, as they had a long, pay per view quality tag match. I know it’s been done before and I’ve not been wild on seeing them fight again, but this should have been the final match to give the Usos the record. Unless there is some surprise Tag Team Title match on Monday (and there might be), New Day’s record has fallen and it happened after a great match.

Roman Reigns and company are pleased in the back as the Usos show some respect after the match.

Post break the Usos go in to see Reigns, who says it feels good. Now though, Reigns is going to handle something, but he wants the Usos by his side. It is time to handle some business in the ring live tonight. The Usos are with him.

Smackdown World Cup First Round: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Santos Escobar

The rest of Legado del Fantasma is here with Escobar. They run the ropes to start until Nakamura knocks him outside as we take an early break. Back with Escobar working on the knee until Nakamura manages a kick to the head. The sliding German suplex drops Escobar again but Escobar is back with la majistral for two. That’s fine with Nakamura, who is back up with a middle rope knee for two of his own. The reverse German suplex drops Escobar again but Nakamura has to deal with Legado. Escobar catches him on top back inside though and it’s a super Phantom Driver for the pin at 8:19.

Rating: C+. I wouldn’t have bet on that one but it is nice to see Escobar get moved forward, at least a little ways. While I can’t imagine Escobar winning the whole thing, it is nice to see him getting a win like this as Nakamura isn’t going to take any kind of a hit. Good match too, even if it ended off of a pretty basic interference.

Veterans Day video.

LA Knight is mad about not being in the World Cup but the video monitor behind him keeps glitching in a Bray Wyatt style. Then he turns back around and Wyatt himself is waiting on him. Wyatt says now that they have been introduced, they can be friends. For his entire life, Bray has been told that his rage will make a monster out of him, but for the longest time, he has pretended to not be proud of the things that he does. Knight doesn’t care, so Bray drops him with a single shot and leaves. Knight isn’t sure where Wyatt went. As usual, Wyatt was a bit odd, but having him interact with another wrestler is a bit of a step forward.

Liv Morgan vs. Lacey Evans vs. Raquel Rodriguez vs. Shotzi vs. Sonya Deville vs. Xia Li

For a shot at Ronda Rousey at Survivor Series and one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start and Evans blasts Li with a Woman’s Right for two, with Deville making the save with a running knee. Liv makes a save of her own and sends Deville outside, where Liv can start messing with the steps. Deville is back up to send Liv face first into the steps, leaving the other four to fight inside. Rodriguez hits a delayed superplex to Li, with Deville running back in to steal a near fall.

We take a break and come back with Liv hitting a middle rope dropkick on Li and firing off some running backsplashes in the corner. Deville comes back in to send Liv outside but it’s not enough to steal a pin on Rodriguez. Li kicks Evans down but Rodriguez hits Li with the Tejana Bomb.

Deville and Rodriguez take turns trying to get the pin….and let’s have a table, just because. Liv dives off the barricade to hit Rodriguez, who slams into the side of the table (that didn’t look good). The camera stays on Morgan, Deville and Rodriguez down on the floor for a good bit as the fans chant for the table. Back in and Shotzi hits Never Wake Up for the pin on Evans at 11:30.

Rating: C. This was the kind of a mess that you get with six people in the ring at once but that landing with the three of them on the floor was a bit weird. If nothing else, keeping the camera on them for that long was odd and the match ended out of nowhere after the spot. Shotzi is a good pick for a one off title shot though, even if she won it in such an all over the place match.

Post break Emma comes up to Shotzi in the back and offers congratulations. Emma asks if Shotzi has seen Madcap Moss, with Shotzi thinking Emma has a thing for him. With Emma gone, Shayna Baszler comes up to say Ronda Rousey will wreck her at Survivor Series. Shotzi isn’t worried, but Ronda Rousey pops up for a distraction so Shayna can choke Shotzi out. Simple heeling there.

Ricochet has Mustafa Ali in the first round of the World Cup and knows what it takes. Imperium comes in to mock Ricochet for thinking he can win. Gunther hopes Ricochet can win so Gunther can beat him again.

Video on Braun Strowman beating Omos at Crown Jewel.

Smackdown World Cup First Round: Jinder Mahal vs. Braun Strowman

Mahal promises to win, jumps him before the bell and even manages to kick out the knee. Strowman is back up with a shoulder t othe floor, followed by the running shoulder on the floor. Back in and a powerbomb finishes for Strowman at 1:48.

B Fab vs. Zelina Vega

The rest of Hit Row and Legado del Fantasma are here…..and we’re cut off by the Viking Raiders, complete with the still unidentified woman on the stage. The Raiders clean house and the woman is identified as Sarah Logan as she beats up B Fab. Total destruction and no match.

We look at Roman Reigns beating Logan Paul again.

Here is the Bloodline for whatever Roman Reigns needs to say. Paul Heyman talks about being on the private jet with Reigns on the way to this h*** hole….and we now pause for booing. Paul: “Indianapolis, that’s not very Ucey of you.” Heyman talks about all of the great sports rivalries that play out on Fox, such as the United States vs. the UK in soccer and the Cowboys vs. the Packers coming up this weekend. You have the Usos vs. New Day and Heyman can’t keep a straight face as he says that isn’t a rivalry at all.

Reigns talks about how difficult it is to be his cousin and he thought this moment would ever come. He addresses the Usos….and here are the Brawling Brutes to interrupt. Ridge Holland talks about the Bloodline using their numbers advantage very week. Well tonight it’s fight night, and they have backup. Cue the returning Sheamus…and his mic keeps cutting in and out.

Sheamus seems to say this is the start of the end of the Bloodline. Reigns mocks the mic screwing up so Sheamus says he’ll say it to Reigns’ face. The Bloodline beats him down but Drew McIntyre comes in for the save. McIntyre fights off most of them but Reigns kicks him in the face. Sheamus is back up for the slugout with Reigns and the big brawl ends the show. Why is that so rare in WWE? End on something hot, not with everything wrapped up. Anyway, there’s WarGames, maybe with Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn completing the field.

Overall Rating: B. The opener was great and everything else was good enough to make this a breezy two hours. They also had people come back and a big match is all but set for the pay per view. Good show here, as it feels like they have a plan going into a major show other than Wrestlemania. That seems to be a trend about the HHH regime and it is as welcome of a change as I could ask to see.

Results
Usos b. New Day – 1D to Kingston
Santos Escobar b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Super Phantom Driver
Shotzi b. Liv Morgan, Lacey Evans, Xia Li, Sonya Deville and Raquel Rodriguez – Never Wake Up to Evans
Braun Strowman b. Jinder Mahal – Powerbomb

 

 

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Smackdown – November 4, 2022: Taped Very Goodness

Smackdown
Date: November 4, 2022
Location: Enterprise Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Wade Barrett, Michael Cole

It’s time for a taped show as everyone else is already in Saudi Arabia. The main event this week is Gunther defending the Intercontinental Title against Rey Mysterio in a match that has some potential. Other than that, we probably get the final push towards Logan Paul challenging Roman Reigns for the Universal Title, because celebrity. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Liv Morgan vs. Sonya Deville

No DQ. It’s a brawl to start with Deville grabbing some kendo sticks and driving Morgan into the apron. Back in and Deville unloads with the stick but Morgan is smiling. Morgan fights up and sticks her down, meaning it’s table time. That’s broken up and Deville puts the table back under the ring. Back up and Morgan hits a suicide dive to drop Deville and then she does it again. Now we can get the table set up with Liv driving her through it as we take a break.

We come back with a bunch of chairs in the ring and Deville hitting a running knee, followed by a middle rope knee for two. Liv fights back and hits a springboard Codebreaker for two but Deville powerbombs her onto the chairs for her own near fall. Another Codebreaker staggers Deville and Oblivion onto the chairs finishes for Morgan at 13:48.

Rating: C+. Good brawl, though I still can’t get into Hardcore Liv. It’s better than what they were doing with her as champion but it still doesn’t feel like the right way to go. Granted she is still getting reactions and the matches are good enough, so there might be something here if they keep developing the idea. The match was a pretty good brawl, but nothing that hasn’t been done a dozen times this year alone.

We look back at Emma’s return last week as she lost to Ronda Rousey.

Emma is excited to be back but Xia Li interrupts. Li calls her weak and is promptly shoved down.

Logan Paul’s brother Jake Paul will be in his corner at Crown Jewel.

Video on Roman Reigns vs. Logan Paul, including a clip of Jake Paul showing up at the press conference.

The Viking Raiders are still coming back.

Ricochet vs. LA Knight

Before the match, Knight mocks the ring announcer’s intro, allowing Ricochet to take him down. Ricochet throws him in and we get the opening bell, with a kick to the back rocking Knight. A few shots take Ricochet down though and Knight loads up a top rope Lionsault, only to crash hard. Ricochet knocks him to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Knight stomping away in the corner and hitting the jumping neckbreaker for two. Knight goes up but spends too much time talking, allowing Ricochet to jump up for a super hurricanrana. The running shooting star press gets two but Knight rolls him up with tights/the rope for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C-. Hey look Ricochet loses again. That’s just one of those things you have to get used to these days, though I can appreciate Knight getting a boost. Having him cheat in two ways is a good way to go and I like the ending, but the match wasn’t exactly thrilling on the way there.

Sami Zayn hypes the Usos being ready to set the all time Tag Team Title reign but Jey Uso doesn’t like his advice. Jey says they were champions before Sami and they’ll be champions after him. Jimmy: “He’s got a point Sami.” The Usos leave and Sami asks “my dogs” to come back.

Bray Wyatt says he isn’t used to sharing his feelings. It’s new to him and he doesn’t like people playing with him like that. We pause for an interruption from someone with a box and, after the camera gets hacked, Bray talks about getting annoyed at a driver who cut him off. The camera keeps cutting to the Wyatt logo as he rants about how he wants to break things because he can’t handle himself.

Bray wants the guy to reach down into his soul and apologize to him for interrupting. The camera interruption gets a bit longer and the man apologizes, with Bray seemingly accepting and asking him to leave. We see a graphic saying Wyatt will be at Crown Jewel, which was announced on Raw. So are the camera cuts and weird graphics Bray’s inner evil trying to escape as he tries to hold it back?

Here are the Usos for a chat. They are ready to become the longest reigning Tag Team Champions and, after an UCEY chant, we hear about how the next step is getting by the Brawling Brutes. Cue the New Day to say they’re cheering for the Brutes tomorrow but if the Usos retain, the New Day has next. Cue the Brawling Brutes for the beatdown so Solo Sikoa and Sami Zayn come in for the save. Butch comes back up with some shillelagh shots but Sikoa takes him down and the Bloodline stands tall.

Rey Mysterio loves wrestling and is ready to fight back to win the Intercontinental Title.

Shayna Baszler vs. Natalya

Ronda Rousey is here with Baszler. Natalya gets taken down to start but manages to reverse the arm stomp into a rollup for two. Baszler goes right after the arm again though and takes Natalya down, where Natalya is made to scratch her own head. That’s broken up and Natalya hits the discus clothesline, only to get pulled into the Kirifuda Clutch for the tap at 4:09.

Rating: C. This was just a step above a squash for Baszler as she is heated up again. It would not surprise me to see her as the eventual challenger for Rousey, especially with Rousey as her inspiration. It’s a different direction for Rousey and that is something she has desperately been needing. Now just give Baszler some women to crush and we should be fine.

Post match Natalya gets up and is blasted right back down.

Video on Drew McIntyre vs. Karrion Kross.

Here is MVP to introduce five unnamed opponents for Braun Strowman. Cue Strowman to run all five over and then chase MVP off. MVP’s cane shot is shrugged off and Strowman breaks it in half. The running powerslam plants MVP as a way to keep him from being at Crown Jewel. No match.

Gunther is ready to beat Rey Mysterio and nothing will change because he will retain his title.

Legado del Fantasma isn’t impressed by Shinsuke Nakamura helping Hit Row last week so it’s time for some revenge.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Gunther

Gunther, with Imperium, is defending. The champ starts fast by going with the power and knocking Mysterio outside for an early break. Back with Rey being sent stomach first to the floor but coming back in for a crucifix bomb. Mysterio grabs a sleeper and Gunther is in trouble, so he climbs to the middle rope and crashes backwards to free himself and send us to another break.

We come back again with Rey managing a knockdown and hitting the top rope seated senton. A Lionsault gives Rey two and he counters a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for two. Another powerbomb attempt is countered into a Code Red for two more and Gunther has had enough.

The running dropkick in the corner finally lets Gunther hit the powerbomb….for two, and Gunther is livid. Another powerbomb attempt is countered into a 619 attempt but Gunther kicks him away with a heck of a big boot. The big clothesline knocks Rey silly and retains the title at 18:17.

Rating: B+. These two know how to do the big man vs. little man stuff very well and they made it work here. Mysterio started off as an annoyance to Gunther and then became a threat near the end until Gunther went into beast mode to take him apart. That’s a well told story with talented people doing their thing. What more could you ask for in a TV main event?

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped this show a lot but there was only so much that could be done with a taped show before a pay per view that is all but set and not that great in the first place. Crown Jewel needs to come and go so we can move on to something else, which should be the case after Saturday. This show wasn’t all that great, though Gunther vs. Rey was a rather strong main event.

Results
Liv Morgan b. Sonya Deville – Oblivion onto chairs
LA Knight b. Ricochet – Rollup while holding tights and the rope
Shayna Baszler b. Natalya – Kirifuda Clutch
Gunther b. Rey Mysterio – Clothesline

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXXII (2017 Redo): I Think This Show Is Still Going

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We had to get here again at some point. I sat in the stadium last year for the better part of seven hours watching this show and was pretty entertained for the most part. However, since then I’ve thought back on it a few times and it seems to go all downhill from there. I’m not sure what to expect from this one other than it’s going to take a few days to get through. Let’s get to it.

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Kalisto, in some ceremonial bird headpiece, is defending and this is your standard bully vs. smaller guy feud. It’s such a weird visual to see people coming to the ring with so few fans in the seats. I’m not sure if it’s going to make a difference but I expect a three part podcast from Ryback about how unfair it was to his career. We get the big staredown to show the match’s story and to show off Ryback’s new trunks.

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

A running sitout powerslam (kind of like a Michinoku Driver) gets the same and it’s time to slap at the mask. I know Ryback had some issues but he did seem to be trying to mix things up on offense. He deserves credit for trying at least and it’s true that he had some unfair breaks. I just can’t imagine it was as bad as he made it seem.

A delayed superplex is countered into a crossbody for two and the Shell Shock is countered into a quick DDT. The corkscrew crossbody gets two but Ryback plants him again. Kalisto goes to the corner and pulls a turnbuckle pad off. I’m sure you can piece the next step together but in case you’re a bit slow, Ryback goes head first into the buckle and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 8:57.

Rating: C. Despite the surprise when the title didn’t change hands, this was a snappy little match with the power vs. speed working quite well. Kalisto is the kind of guy who can perform well against anyone and Ryback’s power was a perfect foil. Ryback is still one of the more interesting what if’s in recent years but it’s pretty clear that the guy isn’t all there sometimes, which can make for some messy negotiations.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Yes this story is still happening for reasons I’m sure you can figure out for yourself. If nothing else, Wrestlemania is an excuse to see Brie’s legs, which you don’t get for the rest of the year. This is Lana’s only main roster match to date and uh…..yeah this works. Fox elbows the heck out of Summer to start and a sloppy tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. We get the big ten Diva staredown and it’s off to a break because the pre-show is basically Raw.

Back from a break with Eva getting booed out of the stadium and suplexing Emma. A hard tag brings in Natalya and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Neidhart (that must have made her smile) on a Hart Attack. It’s back to Emma for a wheelbarrow suplex on Paige before Lana is brought in to the pop of the match so far. Some good looking kicks drop Paige and we hear some trash talk with nothing resembling an accent.

Brie tries to come in so Lana mocks the YES chant in a nice touch. Tamina grabs a chinlock as the rapid tags continue (that’s all you can expect in something like this). A Tower of Doom is teased but instead Paige dives onto a bunch of the women at ringside. Back in and Emma stomps on Paige in the corner but a rollup sends Emma’s head into the buckle.

The hot tag brings in Brie to clean house and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Naomi: “FEEL MY GLOW!!!” By that she means barely get grazed by a split legged moonsault and have Lana shoves Brie off the top. Not that it matters as Brie gets a good looking roll into the YES Lock to make Naomi tap at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was a mess but there’s only so much you can put on the wrestling here. With so many people and so many of them being there as eye candy, there’s only so much they can do. This is the last night for the old Divas style with people being able to use the most basic moves but mainly being there for the sake of their looks. There are FAR worse versions of this match though and this was actually fine for the circumstances.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are heels and refusing to use tables. It’s a brawl to start with the non-brothers cleaning house as the crowd is really filling in now. D-Von cranks on Jimmy’s neck and it’s off to Bubba for some trash talk about Rikishi. The snap punches take too long though and Jimmy gets in a superkick, setting up the hot tag to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey takes What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but again takes too long, earning a double superkick. 3D is broken up as well and Jey superkicks D-Von for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here as we’re just getting ready for the big show and getting this stuff out of the way. You easily could have cut this match off and no one was going to notice it, especially with so little time. The Dudleys were fine at putting people over but did the Usos really need a win like this? Nothing to see here and it really could have been cut as a way to take some of the time off the main show.

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania and how it’s never been bigger than this. Various legends and legendary moments are shown, as they certainly should be. This transitions into a preview of tonight’s show, including the matches and of course a focus on the Rock’s unspecified role. Nothing out of the ordinary here but as is usually the case with these things, WWE really knows how to make these things look great. Also of note: Kelsey Grammer of all people narrates this.

I’m not a fan of his but Flo Rida’s My House is one of the catchiest theme songs they’ve had in years.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. Originally there were just four people involved but the match fell through with Stephanie making a triple threat for the title shot. That match went to a no contest so LET’S JUST THROW EVERYONE INTO THE MESS OF A MATCH. And people wonder why this title isn’t treated as anything important anymore. Sami gets a very nice pop here but Owens’ blows it away, making him the big crowd favorite.

On the other hand, Stardust (in Dusty polka dots) and Sin Cara come out to near silence, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Finally, Ryder gets to hear his music played at Wrestlemania for the first time ever, which really is a cool moment. Ryder: “I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!”

Everyone drops to the floor to start and it’s Owens left alone in the ring. As you might expect, Sami comes in with a ladder and it’s time for the Wrestlemania slugout that you know means the world to them. Kevin gets the better of it and cleans house with the ladder until Cara gets in a ladder shot of his own to take over. Ryder neckbreakers Stardust onto the ladder and Miz throws a different ladder over the top and onto Cara.

Sami and Ziggler knock Miz’s ladder over and there’s the Blue Thunder Bomb, which thankfully doesn’t have to go through the motions of a near fall. Back in and Owens backdrops Sami onto a ladder. Kevin: “THIS IS KO MANIA! GO BACK TO NXT!” Ziggler and Ryder go up but Stardust makes a save to put both guys down again. Cara does the same to Stardust and it’s Sami vs. Miz in the ring.

That doesn’t last long either as Sami dives through a ladder to take out four people at once, followed by the diving tornado DDT on Owens. Cara gets shoved off the ladder but lands on the top rope into a springboard onto another pile of people. Ziggler starts the superkick party so JBL can talk about Shawn Michaels.

Owens comes back in and it’s a double superkick to put everyone down. Stardust pulls out the polka dotted ladder (The Exo Atmospheric Starbird Mark II. I’d call it Larry.) and spins it around his head, only to get caught in a Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder. Now it’s Sami back in but charging into Kevin’s boot in the corner. A frog splash onto Sami onto a ladder bridged onto the bottom rope crushes everyone (JBL: “That’s the biggest frog I’ve ever seen.”).

Ryder doesn’t quite one up him with the Elbro off another ladder to crush Miz but it still looked cool. I’m not sure why there weren’t more flashbulbs going off either as it was quite the highspot. Ziggler faceplants Ryder off the ladder and comes up favoring his knee. The delay lets Owens powerbomb Ziggler off the ladder and Cara kicks Stardust onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the barricade.

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

Rating: B. It’s a fun match and the spots were great but…..RYDER??? I mean…..HE’S ZACK RYDER! As is so often the case, there were too many people in here with guys like Cara and Stardust just being there to add more bodies to the thing. Cut this down to four people (five max) and it’s WAY better but that might mean the title is treated a bit more seriously and we can’t have that. I still think this was supposed to be Neville’s spot until he broke his ankle but it doesn’t really matter.

Ryder’s dad comes in to celebrate with him for a really cool moment.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. They traded some wins and then formed a short lived team (Y2AJ) but Jericho turned on him when they lost. Jericho was jealous over the AJ STYLES chants and wanted the respect for himself. It’s actually a solid feud and one of the matches people wanted to see, though I could have gone with not having the same match three times before.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: B. Another long match here with an interesting choice for the ending. I know Jericho went on to have one of the best years of his career but at this point he’s just Jericho and Styles hasn’t even been in the company for three months yet. This continues to feel like booking for the sake of the surprise, which is almost never a good thing. Still though, would you expect anything other than very good from these two for seventeen minutes?

Maria Menunos interviews Zack Ryder and talks about getting to take a picture with Razor Ramon and his Intercontinental Title when he was a kid. Tonight though, he and Ramon are taking a picture with RYDER’S Intercontinental Title. I’m not sure if that’s a better line than waiting your whole life for this but Ryder is nailing it tonight.

New Day vs. League of Nations

New Day comes out in a huge box of BootyO’s which tips over….to reveal them in Dragon Ball Z costumes, complete with a tail on Woods. This was originally a Tag Team Title match but was changed to a handicap match before switching to a six man (Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio/Rusev for the League with King Barrett in the corner) for no apparent reason. I mean, other than having New Day lose or something crazy like that. Also, make no mistake about it: New Day was by FAR the most popular merchandise choice of the weekend. You would see that blue shirt all over Dallas and nothing was anywhere near as common.

Kofi and Sheamus start things off as we hear about New Day holding the titles for over 200 days. Somehow they’re not even at the halfway point. Sheamus gets taken down into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede and Woods starts in with some tromboning. Xavier comes in and gets beaten down as JBL has the nerve to compare these two to the Freebirds and the Horsemen.

Sheamus gets in the forearms to the beat of NEW DAY SUCKS and it’s off to Rusev for a running flip senton. Woods sends Del Rio to the floor in a big crash but Sheamus is over there to takes New Day off the apron in a smart move. Not that it matters as Kofi gets the hot tag a few seconds later and house is cleaned again. Trouble in Paradise is broken up and Rusev adds a kick to the head of his own for two.

The fans try to get an UP UP DOWN DOWN chant going and Big E. tags himself in for some suplexes. The spear through the ropes takes out Sheamus, Rusev and Barrett but it does the same to Big E., who thankfully didn’t break his neck. Back in and Woods drops a top rope double stomp for two on Sheamus. Del Rio makes a save and hits a scary double stomp off the apron to crush Kofi. That leaves Woods alone to take the Bull Hammer from Barrett to give Sheamus the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Ok they’re trolling us now right? The League of Nations is one of the most worthless stables in a LONG time and they’re beating one of the most over groups in recent memory? I know it’s designed to set up the post match shenanigans but there are multiple ways to do the same thing without beating New Day. It’s even worse when you consider the group was split less than a month later.

Post match Barrett says there are no three men who can beat them. Cue Shawn Michaels (nearly causing the wife to jump out of the upper deck), Mick Foley and Steve Austin (he’s a bit too big of a star for this group) for the beatdown. The moment is cool but Cole talking about how great of a moment this is feels so stupidly forced. Anyway, house is quickly cleaned (and apparently Austin further injures his already destroyed shoulder in the process). New Day gets back in and dancing ensues with Shawn and Steve getting into it…..until it’s a Stunner for Woods. Beer is quickly consumed.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose. Lesnar is the Beast and needs someone to fight him so Dean was like “eh I’ll do it.” This led to one heck of a beatdown so Ambrose was given some weapons by various hardcore legends (barbed wire bat from Foley and a chainsaw from Terry Funk) because this is a no holds barred street fight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

We hit the third German suplex forty five seconds in and Ambrose is on the floor. A few kendo stick shots annoy Lesnar so he rolls two more suplexes. Brock breaks the stick over his knee and there’s number six. Ambrose can barely move so he gives the referee a thumbs up and there are numbers seven and eight before we’re even five minutes into the match. Dean slaps him in the face….and gets suplexed again.

With nothing else to do, Lesnar offers Dean a free shot with the stick, which Brock then stands on. That earns him a low blow (Ambrose: “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”) and now the stick shots work a bit better. Dean goes outside and finds a chainsaw (Heyman’s eyes bug out) but that means a tenth suplex. A laptop off Lesnar’s face allows Dean to chair him a few times, only to have Brock run the ropes for a belly to belly superplex. Dean’s next trick is a fire extinguisher blast to the face followed by some lame chair shots to the ribs.

A dropkick to send the chair into Lesnar’s face works a bit better and the top rope chair drop gets two. For some reason Dean throws in about ten chairs, which he then goes sailing over off another German suplex. The F5 is countered into a DDT onto (or close to) a chair for two. Now it’s time for the barbed wire baseball bat but it’s another German suplex onto the chairs. An F5 onto them is enough to put Dean away at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I remember it but they made it very clear that Ambrose wasn’t on Lesnar’s level or really close to it for that matter. There’s only so much you can do when Lesnar is out there doing nothing but suplexes (other than those and an F5, I actually can’t think of anything else he did in the match) and Dean ran into that problem here. This could have been a lot worse but a little more offense from Ambrose would have been appreciated.

Ric Flair teaches Ryder how to Woo but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial. Ryder takes a bite….and turns into Charlotte. Yeah I don’t get it either but I think Charlotte is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Big Boss Man (That’s perfectly fine.)
Jacqueline (Fine, just don’t let her talk.)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

We go back to the Kickoff Show with Lita unveiling the new WOMEN’S Title (meaning the Divas era is finally over). Oh and remember that this is completely different than the original Women’s Title, meaning it actually has its own lineage.

We recap the Women’s Title match with a really cool WWE Network themed video. It’s a search for Women’s Champions which shows some famous names before a Women’s Revolution search brings up the three of them (with Stephanie’s screeching narration of course). This gets the music video treatment, which it actually deserves.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

The title is officially vacant coming in though Charlotte never lost the Divas Title. Banks has Snoop Dogg (her real life cousin) rap her to the ring, which should guarantee her winning the title here. She also has Eddie Guerrero inspired gear and actually looks better in the tights than the trunks. Charlotte (still wearing the Divas Title) has Ric Flair in her corner and debuts the blue gear, with the robe being made from the robe Flair wore in his final match. That’s a very good thing as she rocks the heck out of that outfit. Lita is holding the new title and after the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte pulls Sasha outside though and gives her something like a wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron. Back in and Becky (with a lot of eye makeup) grabs an arm trap reverse DDT for two on Charlotte and we hit the cross armbreaker. Flair gets on the apron like a good pop though and it’s time for the Figure Four. That also means that it’s time for Sasha to come in with a frog splash for the save.

Becky grabs something like a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte and rolls Sasha up for the same. In the first big spot of the match, Sasha dives through the ropes to flip onto Charlotte (possibly catching her foot on the ropes but it didn’t seem to change much). Becky TAKES OUT FLAIR, drawing one of the biggest pops of the night. With Becky and Sasha staggered, Charlotte goes up top and moonsaults onto both of them (looked sweet) for maybe the biggest spot in the history of women’s wrestling.

Back in and double Natural Selection gets a double near fall, much to Charlotte and Ric’s collective frustration. Charlotte loads Sasha up into an electric chair but Becky comes in with a missile dropkick for two on Sasha. The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble until Sasha makes the save with the Bank Statement.

That brings Charlotte back in with the Figure Four on Banks, which is upgraded into the Figure Eight until Becky pulls them to the ropes. Charlotte spears Banks down but gets taken to the top for one heck of a superplex. Banks gets up and goes for the Bank Statement, only to be sent outside so Charlotte can grab the Figure Eight (with Flair holding Banks’ foot) to make Becky tap at 16:08.

Rating: A-. Match of the night so far by a good stretch and pretty easily the best women’s match ever on the main roster to date. There were a few botches here and there but the idea that three women could have a match on par with if not exceeding a lot of the better men would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Great stuff here and FAR better than I think anyone could have hoped for (save for the logical Banks title win of course).

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

You know, we’re about two hours and twenty minutes into this show and it’s on pace to be one of the best shows ever. I know there are some booking issues but other than a nothing six man (with a really fun post match segment), nothing has been bad and even that match was fine. However, there are four matches left and nearly TWO AND A HALF HOURS left in the show. I think I know where things are going to start going downhill.

The Cell is lowered for the 33rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker and it’s time for this show to start to unravel. So Shane came back in January and talked about how Vince and Stephanie had ruined everything. There was something about a lockbox with evidence of Vince doing something bad (never specified) and Shane threatened to open it if he didn’t get to run Raw (which he said basically meant WWE). Vince decided to put it up in a match with Shane facing Undertaker in the Cell. Undertaker’s Wrestlemania career was put on the line and that’s about it for anyone buying this as anything serious.

At the end of the day, it’s really, REALLY hard to believe that Undertaker was in any real danger against Shane, who hadn’t wrestled a single match in seven years. It’s kind of hard to buy this as a competitive match, but there’s a very good chance that this was supposed to be John Cena instead of Shane but injuries derailed the plans (a major problem all night). To their credit, this match led to something like tens of thousands of tickets being sold in a hurry so it was definitely a draw and worthy of this kind of a push.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside Hell in a Cell. Shane does the high energy entrance and brings his kids out to dance to the ring with him as Shane Bucks fall from the ceiling in a cool moment. Apparently Shane wants to take Undertaker’s cardio, which you know Shane has in droves due to, you know, everything that works against him. Some right hands have no effect on Undertaker so he punches Shane down with one shot. Remember: best pure striker ever in WWE, which you can add to the list of reasons this should be a squash.

Snake Eyes into the big boot have Shane reeling but he gets Undertaker to chase him and stomps away. That earns him a throw into the cage wall and the apron legdrop as this is total dominance in the first five minutes. The Last Ride gets two and the match is instantly a complete mess at 5:32. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can buy this no matter what WWE wants to tell me. That move has beaten World Champions but SHANE MCMAHON, in his mid 40s and seven years removed from his last match, kicks out of it after getting beaten up? Just….no, period.

Undertaker grabs the steps but gets pulled into a weak triangle choke. That’s countered into a chokeslam onto the steps for another two as Shane is suddenly the offspring of Super Cena and Hulk Hogan. Undertaker misses an elbow onto the steps so Shane sits on them and teases Undertaker into a drop toehold onto said steps. I don’t buy Undertaker as being that stupid, nor do I buy the cover that follows.

Shane punches him in the face off the situp so Undertaker gets him in the Hell’s Gate, which Shane reverses into a Sharpshooter. You know, because anyone can survive THREE UNDERTAKER FINISHERS IN TWELVE MINUTES. Undertaker easily powers out so Shane punches him into the corner, which is totally enough to have Undertaker in trouble. Coast to Coast into a trashcan gets two and Shane grabs….boltcutters.

He cuts the Cell open but Undertaker tackles him through the wall and onto the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head looks to set up a Tombstone onto the table but Shane reverses into a sleeper. That’s reversed with a backwards crash through the table as this is getting even more ridiculous. A toolbox to the head puts Undertaker on a table…..and Shane climbs the Cell.

The big elbow completely misses (because it would have killed Undertaker) and you can see the crash pad deflate as Shane lands. Cole: “FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!” It was a terrifying spot live but now it’s much more silly than anything else, which isn’t the point in a match like this. Then again this stopped being anything serious or really interesting as soon as the Last Ride only got two so it’s a moot point. Shane says bring it again so Undertaker carries him inside for the Tombstone and the pin at 30:06.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

It’s a ridiculous story (both the buildup and the match itself) and a terribly dull match with one big spot not being able to make up for anything. This was more fun live but GOOD NIGHT it does not hold up. Cut it down to twenty minutes at most and this is much better but as it is, this is horrible. On top of that, allegedly Shane was supposed to win until Undertaker shot it down, which he certainly should have done. The show has hit a major wall now and it’s going to need something special to bring them out.

Shane is taken out on a stretcher as the announcers brag about how awesome he is, which is why a lot of people don’t like seeing Shane wrestle. Yeah he’ll do a bunch of stuff but he gets WAY more credit and praise than he deserves. Shane gives a thumbs up on the way out.

Reason #1 this show crashed so hard: from the time the Cell was lowered to the time we cut away from Shane: 50:43. That’s a lot of time to spend on something that…..bleh.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Curtis Axel, Baron Corbin, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

O’Neal is a surprise, or as much of one as you can be when his face popped up on the big screen during the other entrances. We get the big staredown between Shaq and Show but they have to stop and double chokeslam Kane. Everyone else is sent outside (none eliminated) until Fandango comes in and gets eliminated. Sandow (POP) does the same and is eliminated as well, allowing everyone else to come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. Somehow, that means we NEED to see them at Wrestlemania the next year, despite almost no one asking to see it. Everyone stands around until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Viktor and tosses him with ease.

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

We’re down to Corbin, Kane, Young, Breeze, Henry and Dallas with Kane chokeslamming Baron. Henry comes back in after being on the floor for six minutes to eliminate Slater and Breeze to get us down to five. Kane and Young (the oddest couple until….Young and Bob Backlund I guess) get rid of Henry before Kane dumps Dallas and Young. Corbin sneaks in from behind though and eliminates Kane to win at 9:43 and set off the NXT chants.

Rating: D. This was your annual “hey we still have jobs” battle royal but for once they let someone have the win to elevate them up the card. Corbin hits the ground running and odds are he’s going to be challenging for the Intercontinental Title at next year’s show. That’s how you introduce a star and it worked very well. The battle royal itself didn’t though with too many dead spots, but at least they kept the pace up after the first year’s was over thirteen minutes and last year’s was over eighteen.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to perform, which is never a bad thing. They’re followed by something that’s a bit more hit or miss: Rock’s annual Wrestlemania appearance. This time it’s a bit different though because he has a FLAMETHROWER. He lights a ROCK sign on fire and this eats up even more time on a show already over three and a half hours long with the main event to go.

After the long entrance and some standing around, Rock FINALLY says his first words nearly eight minutes after the cheerleaders started. We get some crowd praising and talk of Rock babies as there’s a loud echo on everything Rock says (kind of cool because of just how big the place is) and the new attendance record of 101,763 is announced. Yeah I know it’s probably not quite that high and much like in 1987, I really don’t care that much.

Rock says it’s about to get good…and we’ve got Wyatts. Thankfully this means we get the Fireflies in the stadium, which was one of the coolest visuals I’ve ever seen. It actually lit up the ring, which is pretty impressive for a bunch of phones. Bray introduces himself and says he chose Rock because Rock represents a lie. Rock is supposed to be the People’s Champion but this is Bray’s moment. He’s going to eviscerate Rock on the grandest stage of them all and the people have to watch.

Rock mocks the eviscerating line and thinks Bray has been hitting the bong. We get some jokes about Rowan and Strowman (Is this where Rock buried Bray? I never can tell with these things.) before Rock praises Bray for having it all (BURIAL! HE’S BURYING HIM! SOMEONE GET A SHOVEL TO HELP BRAY!) and getting 100,000 people on their feet. Rock accuses Bray of eating Hot Pockets but Bray says he’s here to kick the door down. However, Rock has an idea: let’s have a match! We get a referee and Rock says pick any Family member as he takes off the workout gear to reveal trunks.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

The Family surrounds Rock and heeeere’s Cena for the save. House is cleaned, signature moves are hit and Rock welcomes Cena back (he would be back in about a month) to FINALLY end this, 28:15 after the cheerleaders came out (I’m keeping time for a reason in case you couldn’t tell).

It’s 11:03pm so let’s recap the main event. Roman Reigns was World Champion but HHH couldn’t get him to go corporate so it’s Austin vs. Vince again. HHH made Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble, which he of course entered and won to set up this match. People really weren’t all that interested but you knew this was going to happen several months back. You know, because THIS TIME FOR SURE it’s going to get Reigns over.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH is defending and here’s Stephanie in what I think is a Mad Max look. It’s a closeup of her face in front of a barren wasteland as she talks about how this is their world and we’re all just living in it. Basically all hope is lost and we need to give up on this ridiculous belief that anyone can save us from the Authority.

Then an army of people in skull masks (NXT wrestlers with Enzo Amore at the front) carrying WWE Titles comes to the ring to set up HHH’s entrance where Stephanie gets to show off her legs. Again, just like the last two years, the big face gets to follow this rather cool (and over the top) HHH entrance. But hey, at least we get the annual HHH is Cool moment right?

As ridiculous (and as much as they’re begging the fans to boo them instead of Reigns) as this is, it’s NOTHING compared to the outright hatred that Reigns receives. The man is booed out of Texas and allegedly the audio had to be turned down in response. If that’s true…..I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Since these two can’t stand each other, they go to a headlock and armbar to start. The fans unload on Reigns when he shoulders HHH, only to get hiptossed to the floor. Back in and HHH works on the arm some more until Reigns shoves him into the corner for more incredible booing. A lockup goes nowhere as this is already starting to look like one of HHH’s disastrous main events.

Some hard forearms to the back of Reigns’ head put him down. The comeback is so soundly booed that it’s almost comical. A Stunner over the top rope sets up the apron dropkick for one on the champ. Stephanie offers a quick distraction so HHH can get in a low blow (FACE POP) and Reigns goes down again. HHH goes with some hard right hands to the face and the spinebuster gets two.

They head outside with HHH sending him face first into the announcers’ table (which he did a few weeks back to break Reigns’ nose). Another comeback is cut off and Reigns is thrown into the German announcers. Back in and Reigns uppercuts him out of the air and hammers away, only to have HHH bail from the Superman Punch. They trade whips into the steps until Reigns spears him through the barricade for almost no reaction. This is basically the same problem as HHH vs. Jericho in 2002: there’s no reason to believe the champ has a chance so there’s no reason to care until Reigns hits a spear in the ring.

Back in again and Reigns is holding his arm but HE’LL CONTINUE! And without a thirty minute nap like at the Rumble! Oh he’s got his working boots on tonight. HHH puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things because the main event of Wrestlemania with a match that’s supposed to be based on hatred is built around a bad arm. See, when Daniel Bryan did that, it was entertaining. When Reigns is doing it, the fans are cheering the evil villain.

Reigns powers out of something like the Rings of Saturn but can’t knock the confetti off of HHH’s head. It’s back to the armbar until Reigns FINALLY gets the break with a powerbomb. That goes nowhere so WE HIT ANOTHER ARMBAR BECAUSE THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE ALL LONG AND EPIC AND STUFF! Another powerbomb breaks the hold again but the spear is countered into a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop to the floor.

The fans start singing to placate their boredom until the spear gets….no count because Stephanie pulls the referee out. Now Stephanie gets in to yell at the referee, earning herself a spear and turning Reigns into the biggest star in the world (for about thirty seconds). If my memory serves me right, she hasn’t taken a bump in nearly a year since then, or really had anything bad happen to her that lasted more than a day or two.

The Pedigree gives us the first hot near fall of the match and it’s the Superman Punch to drop HHH. The second spear is broken up with a knee and Stephanie hands HHH the sledgehammer (She took a spear less than four minutes ago so OF COURSE she’s capable of doing that. This woman is scary.). Not that it matters as another Superman Punch and the spear give Reigns the title back at 27:04.

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

This needed to be about fifteen minutes shorter and we would have had the same result: Reigns winning and getting booed out of the building because people just don’t want to see him in this spot. There was a total lack of hatred and violence here and it really dragged things down, which is far too often the case for any given HHH match. It’s one of the worst Wrestlemania main events ever and there’s really no way around that.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t think of a single show that is so completely different from the first half to the second. The worst thing about the first few matches is the booking with the worst match being a somewhat dull six man tag. If you cut this off after the Women’s Title, this is one of the better pay per views I’ve seen in several years.

Then the Cell was lowered, kicking off the last “four” matches (counting Rock vs. Rowan) and the long segment. When you add up the Cell, the Rock segment and the main event, they all combined for over two hours. That’s two REALLY bad matches and a segment that went on far too long (but was entertaining at times) adding up to an episode of Smackdown. Clip off fifteen minutes from Shane vs. Undertaker (and another five from the intro/post match stuff), ten from Rock’s stuff (say, him playing with a flamethrower) and AT LEAST ten off the main event and this is instantly a less horrible show.

Unlike most pay per views, Wrestlemania is almost exclusively remembered for two to three matches more often than not. Therefore, it’s a major problem when your two main matches are long and rather horrible. It was hard to keep interest in this show even sitting in the stadium and that should not happen. There’s a lot of good stuff in the first half though and switching the order up would have helped out a lot. Unfortunately that’s completely the opposite of what they did as it was all stupid booking overshadowing the good and then REALLY bad stuff covering the rest of the show.

It’s easy to see why this show is remembered so poorly when the second half is just such a wreck. It felt like a huge way to have the fans get annoyed while WWE laughs and says “we’ve got all your money”. You shouldn’t leave Wrestlemania talking about how bad the show was when there was so much good going on. The bad completely outweighs the good here and there was no way anything else was going to be remembered. Awful show that lives down to its reputation.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXII (2017 Redo): Welcome Back

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We had to get here again at some point. I sat in the stadium last year for the better part of seven hours watching this show and was pretty entertained for the most part. However, since then I’ve thought back on it a few times and it seems to go all downhill from there. I’m not sure what to expect from this one other than it’s going to take a few days to get through. Let’s get to it.

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Kalisto, in some ceremonial bird headpiece, is defending and this is your standard bully vs. smaller guy feud. It’s such a weird visual to see people coming to the ring with so few fans in the seats. I’m not sure if it’s going to make a difference but I expect a three part podcast from Ryback about how unfair it was to his career. We get the big staredown to show the match’s story and to show off Ryback’s new trunks.

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

A running sitout powerslam (kind of like a Michinoku Driver) gets the same and it’s time to slap at the mask. I know Ryback had some issues but he did seem to be trying to mix things up on offense. He deserves credit for trying at least and it’s true that he had some unfair breaks. I just can’t imagine it was as bad as he made it seem.

A delayed superplex is countered into a crossbody for two and the Shell Shock is countered into a quick DDT. The corkscrew crossbody gets two but Ryback plants him again. Kalisto goes to the corner and pulls a turnbuckle pad off. I’m sure you can piece the next step together but in case you’re a bit slow, Ryback goes head first into the buckle and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 8:57.

Rating: C. Despite the surprise when the title didn’t change hands, this was a snappy little match with the power vs. speed working quite well. Kalisto is the kind of guy who can perform well against anyone and Ryback’s power was a perfect foil. Ryback is still one of the more interesting what if’s in recent years but it’s pretty clear that the guy isn’t all there sometimes, which can make for some messy negotiations.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Yes this story is still happening for reasons I’m sure you can figure out for yourself. If nothing else, Wrestlemania is an excuse to see Brie’s legs, which you don’t get for the rest of the year. This is Lana’s only main roster match to date and uh…..yeah this works. Fox elbows the heck out of Summer to start and a sloppy tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. We get the big ten Diva staredown and it’s off to a break because the pre-show is basically Raw.

Back from a break with Eva getting booed out of the stadium and suplexing Emma. A hard tag brings in Natalya and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Neidhart (that must have made her smile) on a Hart Attack. It’s back to Emma for a wheelbarrow suplex on Paige before Lana is brought in to the pop of the match so far. Some good looking kicks drop Paige and we hear some trash talk with nothing resembling an accent.

Brie tries to come in so Lana mocks the YES chant in a nice touch. Tamina grabs a chinlock as the rapid tags continue (that’s all you can expect in something like this). A Tower of Doom is teased but instead Paige dives onto a bunch of the women at ringside. Back in and Emma stomps on Paige in the corner but a rollup sends Emma’s head into the buckle.

The hot tag brings in Brie to clean house and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Naomi: “FEEL MY GLOW!!!” By that she means barely get grazed by a split legged moonsault and have Lana shoves Brie off the top. Not that it matters as Brie gets a good looking roll into the YES Lock to make Naomi tap at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was a mess but there’s only so much you can put on the wrestling here. With so many people and so many of them being there as eye candy, there’s only so much they can do. This is the last night for the old Divas style with people being able to use the most basic moves but mainly being there for the sake of their looks. There are FAR worse versions of this match though and this was actually fine for the circumstances.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are heels and refusing to use tables. It’s a brawl to start with the non-brothers cleaning house as the crowd is really filling in now. D-Von cranks on Jimmy’s neck and it’s off to Bubba for some trash talk about Rikishi. The snap punches take too long though and Jimmy gets in a superkick, setting up the hot tag to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey takes What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but again takes too long, earning a double superkick. 3D is broken up as well and Jey superkicks D-Von for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here as we’re just getting ready for the big show and getting this stuff out of the way. You easily could have cut this match off and no one was going to notice it, especially with so little time. The Dudleys were fine at putting people over but did the Usos really need a win like this? Nothing to see here and it really could have been cut as a way to take some of the time off the main show.

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania and how it’s never been bigger than this. Various legends and legendary moments are shown, as they certainly should be. This transitions into a preview of tonight’s show, including the matches and of course a focus on the Rock’s unspecified role. Nothing out of the ordinary here but as is usually the case with these things, WWE really knows how to make these things look great. Also of note: Kelsey Grammer of all people narrates this.

I’m not a fan of his but Flo Rida’s My House is one of the catchiest theme songs they’ve had in years.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. Originally there were just four people involved but the match fell through with Stephanie making a triple threat for the title shot. That match went to a no contest so LET’S JUST THROW EVERYONE INTO THE MESS OF A MATCH. And people wonder why this title isn’t treated as anything important anymore. Sami gets a very nice pop here but Owens’ blows it away, making him the big crowd favorite.

On the other hand, Stardust (in Dusty polka dots) and Sin Cara come out to near silence, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Finally, Ryder gets to hear his music played at Wrestlemania for the first time ever, which really is a cool moment. Ryder: “I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!”

Everyone drops to the floor to start and it’s Owens left alone in the ring. As you might expect, Sami comes in with a ladder and it’s time for the Wrestlemania slugout that you know means the world to them. Kevin gets the better of it and cleans house with the ladder until Cara gets in a ladder shot of his own to take over. Ryder neckbreakers Stardust onto the ladder and Miz throws a different ladder over the top and onto Cara.

Sami and Ziggler knock Miz’s ladder over and there’s the Blue Thunder Bomb, which thankfully doesn’t have to go through the motions of a near fall. Back in and Owens backdrops Sami onto a ladder. Kevin: “THIS IS KO MANIA! GO BACK TO NXT!” Ziggler and Ryder go up but Stardust makes a save to put both guys down again. Cara does the same to Stardust and it’s Sami vs. Miz in the ring.

That doesn’t last long either as Sami dives through a ladder to take out four people at once, followed by the diving tornado DDT on Owens. Cara gets shoved off the ladder but lands on the top rope into a springboard onto another pile of people. Ziggler starts the superkick party so JBL can talk about Shawn Michaels.

Owens comes back in and it’s a double superkick to put everyone down. Stardust pulls out the polka dotted ladder (The Exo Atmospheric Starbird Mark II. I’d call it Larry.) and spins it around his head, only to get caught in a Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder. Now it’s Sami back in but charging into Kevin’s boot in the corner. A frog splash onto Sami onto a ladder bridged onto the bottom rope crushes everyone (JBL: “That’s the biggest frog I’ve ever seen.”).

Ryder doesn’t quite one up him with the Elbro off another ladder to crush Miz but it still looked cool. I’m not sure why there weren’t more flashbulbs going off either as it was quite the highspot. Ziggler faceplants Ryder off the ladder and comes up favoring his knee. The delay lets Owens powerbomb Ziggler off the ladder and Cara kicks Stardust onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the barricade.

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

Rating: B. It’s a fun match and the spots were great but…..RYDER??? I mean…..HE’S ZACK RYDER! As is so often the case, there were too many people in here with guys like Cara and Stardust just being there to add more bodies to the thing. Cut this down to four people (five max) and it’s WAY better but that might mean the title is treated a bit more seriously and we can’t have that. I still think this was supposed to be Neville’s spot until he broke his ankle but it doesn’t really matter.

Ryder’s dad comes in to celebrate with him for a really cool moment.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. They traded some wins and then formed a short lived team (Y2AJ) but Jericho turned on him when they lost. Jericho was jealous over the AJ STYLES chants and wanted the respect for himself. It’s actually a solid feud and one of the matches people wanted to see, though I could have gone with not having the same match three times before.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: B. Another long match here with an interesting choice for the ending. I know Jericho went on to have one of the best years of his career but at this point he’s just Jericho and Styles hasn’t even been in the company for three months yet. This continues to feel like booking for the sake of the surprise, which is almost never a good thing. Still though, would you expect anything other than very good from these two for seventeen minutes?

Maria Menunos interviews Zack Ryder and talks about getting to take a picture with Razor Ramon and his Intercontinental Title when he was a kid. Tonight though, he and Ramon are taking a picture with RYDER’S Intercontinental Title. I’m not sure if that’s a better line than waiting your whole life for this but Ryder is nailing it tonight.

New Day vs. League of Nations

New Day comes out in a huge box of BootyO’s which tips over….to reveal them in Dragon Ball Z costumes, complete with a tail on Woods. This was originally a Tag Team Title match but was changed to a handicap match before switching to a six man (Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio/Rusev for the League with King Barrett in the corner) for no apparent reason. I mean, other than having New Day lose or something crazy like that. Also, make no mistake about it: New Day was by FAR the most popular merchandise choice of the weekend. You would see that blue shirt all over Dallas and nothing was anywhere near as common.

Kofi and Sheamus start things off as we hear about New Day holding the titles for over 200 days. Somehow they’re not even at the halfway point. Sheamus gets taken down into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede and Woods starts in with some tromboning. Xavier comes in and gets beaten down as JBL has the nerve to compare these two to the Freebirds and the Horsemen.

Sheamus gets in the forearms to the beat of NEW DAY SUCKS and it’s off to Rusev for a running flip senton. Woods sends Del Rio to the floor in a big crash but Sheamus is over there to takes New Day off the apron in a smart move. Not that it matters as Kofi gets the hot tag a few seconds later and house is cleaned again. Trouble in Paradise is broken up and Rusev adds a kick to the head of his own for two.

The fans try to get an UP UP DOWN DOWN chant going and Big E. tags himself in for some suplexes. The spear through the ropes takes out Sheamus, Rusev and Barrett but it does the same to Big E., who thankfully didn’t break his neck. Back in and Woods drops a top rope double stomp for two on Sheamus. Del Rio makes a save and hits a scary double stomp off the apron to crush Kofi. That leaves Woods alone to take the Bull Hammer from Barrett to give Sheamus the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Ok they’re trolling us now right? The League of Nations is one of the most worthless stables in a LONG time and they’re beating one of the most over groups in recent memory? I know it’s designed to set up the post match shenanigans but there are multiple ways to do the same thing without beating New Day. It’s even worse when you consider the group was split less than a month later.

Post match Barrett says there are no three men who can beat them. Cue Shawn Michaels (nearly causing the wife to jump out of the upper deck), Mick Foley and Steve Austin (he’s a bit too big of a star for this group) for the beatdown. The moment is cool but Cole talking about how great of a moment this is feels so stupidly forced. Anyway, house is quickly cleaned (and apparently Austin further injures his already destroyed shoulder in the process). New Day gets back in and dancing ensues with Shawn and Steve getting into it…..until it’s a Stunner for Woods. Beer is quickly consumed.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose. Lesnar is the Beast and needs someone to fight him so Dean was like “eh I’ll do it.” This led to one heck of a beatdown so Ambrose was given some weapons by various hardcore legends (barbed wire bat from Foley and a chainsaw from Terry Funk) because this is a no holds barred street fight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

We hit the third German suplex forty five seconds in and Ambrose is on the floor. A few kendo stick shots annoy Lesnar so he rolls two more suplexes. Brock breaks the stick over his knee and there’s number six. Ambrose can barely move so he gives the referee a thumbs up and there are numbers seven and eight before we’re even five minutes into the match. Dean slaps him in the face….and gets suplexed again.

With nothing else to do, Lesnar offers Dean a free shot with the stick, which Brock then stands on. That earns him a low blow (Ambrose: “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”) and now the stick shots work a bit better. Dean goes outside and finds a chainsaw (Heyman’s eyes bug out) but that means a tenth suplex. A laptop off Lesnar’s face allows Dean to chair him a few times, only to have Brock run the ropes for a belly to belly superplex. Dean’s next trick is a fire extinguisher blast to the face followed by some lame chair shots to the ribs.

A dropkick to send the chair into Lesnar’s face works a bit better and the top rope chair drop gets two. For some reason Dean throws in about ten chairs, which he then goes sailing over off another German suplex. The F5 is countered into a DDT onto (or close to) a chair for two. Now it’s time for the barbed wire baseball bat but it’s another German suplex onto the chairs. An F5 onto them is enough to put Dean away at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I remember it but they made it very clear that Ambrose wasn’t on Lesnar’s level or really close to it for that matter. There’s only so much you can do when Lesnar is out there doing nothing but suplexes (other than those and an F5, I actually can’t think of anything else he did in the match) and Dean ran into that problem here. This could have been a lot worse but a little more offense from Ambrose would have been appreciated.

Ric Flair teaches Ryder how to Woo but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial. Ryder takes a bite….and turns into Charlotte. Yeah I don’t get it either but I think Charlotte is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Big Boss Man (That’s perfectly fine.)
Jacqueline (Fine, just don’t let her talk.)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

We go back to the Kickoff Show with Lita unveiling the new WOMEN’S Title (meaning the Divas era is finally over). Oh and remember that this is completely different than the original Women’s Title, meaning it actually has its own lineage.

We recap the Women’s Title match with a really cool WWE Network themed video. It’s a search for Women’s Champions which shows some famous names before a Women’s Revolution search brings up the three of them (with Stephanie’s screeching narration of course). This gets the music video treatment, which it actually deserves.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

The title is officially vacant coming in though Charlotte never lost the Divas Title. Banks has Snoop Dogg (her real life cousin) rap her to the ring, which should guarantee her winning the title here. She also has Eddie Guerrero inspired gear and actually looks better in the tights than the trunks. Charlotte (still wearing the Divas Title) has Ric Flair in her corner and debuts the blue gear, with the robe being made from the robe Flair wore in his final match. That’s a very good thing as she rocks the heck out of that outfit. Lita is holding the new title and after the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte pulls Sasha outside though and gives her something like a wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron. Back in and Becky (with a lot of eye makeup) grabs an arm trap reverse DDT for two on Charlotte and we hit the cross armbreaker. Flair gets on the apron like a good pop though and it’s time for the Figure Four. That also means that it’s time for Sasha to come in with a frog splash for the save.

Becky grabs something like a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte and rolls Sasha up for the same. In the first big spot of the match, Sasha dives through the ropes to flip onto Charlotte (possibly catching her foot on the ropes but it didn’t seem to change much). Becky TAKES OUT FLAIR, drawing one of the biggest pops of the night. With Becky and Sasha staggered, Charlotte goes up top and moonsaults onto both of them (looked sweet) for maybe the biggest spot in the history of women’s wrestling.

Back in and double Natural Selection gets a double near fall, much to Charlotte and Ric’s collective frustration. Charlotte loads Sasha up into an electric chair but Becky comes in with a missile dropkick for two on Sasha. The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble until Sasha makes the save with the Bank Statement.

That brings Charlotte back in with the Figure Four on Banks, which is upgraded into the Figure Eight until Becky pulls them to the ropes. Charlotte spears Banks down but gets taken to the top for one heck of a superplex. Banks gets up and goes for the Bank Statement, only to be sent outside so Charlotte can grab the Figure Eight (with Flair holding Banks’ foot) to make Becky tap at 16:08.

Rating: A-. Match of the night so far by a good stretch and pretty easily the best women’s match ever on the main roster to date. There were a few botches here and there but the idea that three women could have a match on par with if not exceeding a lot of the better men would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Great stuff here and FAR better than I think anyone could have hoped for (save for the logical Banks title win of course).

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

You know, we’re about two hours and twenty minutes into this show and it’s on pace to be one of the best shows ever. I know there are some booking issues but other than a nothing six man (with a really fun post match segment), nothing has been bad and even that match was fine. However, there are four matches left and nearly TWO AND A HALF HOURS left in the show. I think I know where things are going to start going downhill.

The Cell is lowered for the 33rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker and it’s time for this show to start to unravel. So Shane came back in January and talked about how Vince and Stephanie had ruined everything. There was something about a lockbox with evidence of Vince doing something bad (never specified) and Shane threatened to open it if he didn’t get to run Raw (which he said basically meant WWE). Vince decided to put it up in a match with Shane facing Undertaker in the Cell. Undertaker’s Wrestlemania career was put on the line and that’s about it for anyone buying this as anything serious.

At the end of the day, it’s really, REALLY hard to believe that Undertaker was in any real danger against Shane, who hadn’t wrestled a single match in seven years. It’s kind of hard to buy this as a competitive match, but there’s a very good chance that this was supposed to be John Cena instead of Shane but injuries derailed the plans (a major problem all night). To their credit, this match led to something like tens of thousands of tickets being sold in a hurry so it was definitely a draw and worthy of this kind of a push.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside Hell in a Cell. Shane does the high energy entrance and brings his kids out to dance to the ring with him as Shane Bucks fall from the ceiling in a cool moment. Apparently Shane wants to take Undertaker’s cardio, which you know Shane has in droves due to, you know, everything that works against him. Some right hands have no effect on Undertaker so he punches Shane down with one shot. Remember: best pure striker ever in WWE, which you can add to the list of reasons this should be a squash.

Snake Eyes into the big boot have Shane reeling but he gets Undertaker to chase him and stomps away. That earns him a throw into the cage wall and the apron legdrop as this is total dominance in the first five minutes. The Last Ride gets two and the match is instantly a complete mess at 5:32. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can buy this no matter what WWE wants to tell me. That move has beaten World Champions but SHANE MCMAHON, in his mid 40s and seven years removed from his last match, kicks out of it after getting beaten up? Just….no, period.

Undertaker grabs the steps but gets pulled into a weak triangle choke. That’s countered into a chokeslam onto the steps for another two as Shane is suddenly the offspring of Super Cena and Hulk Hogan. Undertaker misses an elbow onto the steps so Shane sits on them and teases Undertaker into a drop toehold onto said steps. I don’t buy Undertaker as being that stupid, nor do I buy the cover that follows.

Shane punches him in the face off the situp so Undertaker gets him in the Hell’s Gate, which Shane reverses into a Sharpshooter. You know, because anyone can survive THREE UNDERTAKER FINISHERS IN TWELVE MINUTES. Undertaker easily powers out so Shane punches him into the corner, which is totally enough to have Undertaker in trouble. Coast to Coast into a trashcan gets two and Shane grabs….boltcutters.

He cuts the Cell open but Undertaker tackles him through the wall and onto the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head looks to set up a Tombstone onto the table but Shane reverses into a sleeper. That’s reversed with a backwards crash through the table as this is getting even more ridiculous. A toolbox to the head puts Undertaker on a table…..and Shane climbs the Cell.

The big elbow completely misses (because it would have killed Undertaker) and you can see the crash pad deflate as Shane lands. Cole: “FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!” It was a terrifying spot live but now it’s much more silly than anything else, which isn’t the point in a match like this. Then again this stopped being anything serious or really interesting as soon as the Last Ride only got two so it’s a moot point. Shane says bring it again so Undertaker carries him inside for the Tombstone and the pin at 30:06.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

It’s a ridiculous story (both the buildup and the match itself) and a terribly dull match with one big spot not being able to make up for anything. This was more fun live but GOOD NIGHT it does not hold up. Cut it down to twenty minutes at most and this is much better but as it is, this is horrible. On top of that, allegedly Shane was supposed to win until Undertaker shot it down, which he certainly should have done. The show has hit a major wall now and it’s going to need something special to bring them out.

Shane is taken out on a stretcher as the announcers brag about how awesome he is, which is why a lot of people don’t like seeing Shane wrestle. Yeah he’ll do a bunch of stuff but he gets WAY more credit and praise than he deserves. Shane gives a thumbs up on the way out.

Reason #1 this show crashed so hard: from the time the Cell was lowered to the time we cut away from Shane: 50:43. That’s a lot of time to spend on something that…..bleh.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Curtis Axel, Baron Corbin, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

O’Neal is a surprise, or as much of one as you can be when his face popped up on the big screen during the other entrances. We get the big staredown between Shaq and Show but they have to stop and double chokeslam Kane. Everyone else is sent outside (none eliminated) until Fandango comes in and gets eliminated. Sandow (POP) does the same and is eliminated as well, allowing everyone else to come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. Somehow, that means we NEED to see them at Wrestlemania the next year, despite almost no one asking to see it. Everyone stands around until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Viktor and tosses him with ease.

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

We’re down to Corbin, Kane, Young, Breeze, Henry and Dallas with Kane chokeslamming Baron. Henry comes back in after being on the floor for six minutes to eliminate Slater and Breeze to get us down to five. Kane and Young (the oddest couple until….Young and Bob Backlund I guess) get rid of Henry before Kane dumps Dallas and Young. Corbin sneaks in from behind though and eliminates Kane to win at 9:43 and set off the NXT chants.

Rating: D. This was your annual “hey we still have jobs” battle royal but for once they let someone have the win to elevate them up the card. Corbin hits the ground running and odds are he’s going to be challenging for the Intercontinental Title at next year’s show. That’s how you introduce a star and it worked very well. The battle royal itself didn’t though with too many dead spots, but at least they kept the pace up after the first year’s was over thirteen minutes and last year’s was over eighteen.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to perform, which is never a bad thing. They’re followed by something that’s a bit more hit or miss: Rock’s annual Wrestlemania appearance. This time it’s a bit different though because he has a FLAMETHROWER. He lights a ROCK sign on fire and this eats up even more time on a show already over three and a half hours long with the main event to go.

After the long entrance and some standing around, Rock FINALLY says his first words nearly eight minutes after the cheerleaders started. We get some crowd praising and talk of Rock babies as there’s a loud echo on everything Rock says (kind of cool because of just how big the place is) and the new attendance record of 101,763 is announced. Yeah I know it’s probably not quite that high and much like in 1987, I really don’t care that much.

Rock says it’s about to get good…and we’ve got Wyatts. Thankfully this means we get the Fireflies in the stadium, which was one of the coolest visuals I’ve ever seen. It actually lit up the ring, which is pretty impressive for a bunch of phones. Bray introduces himself and says he chose Rock because Rock represents a lie. Rock is supposed to be the People’s Champion but this is Bray’s moment. He’s going to eviscerate Rock on the grandest stage of them all and the people have to watch.

Rock mocks the eviscerating line and thinks Bray has been hitting the bong. We get some jokes about Rowan and Strowman (Is this where Rock buried Bray? I never can tell with these things.) before Rock praises Bray for having it all (BURIAL! HE’S BURYING HIM! SOMEONE GET A SHOVEL TO HELP BRAY!) and getting 100,000 people on their feet. Rock accuses Bray of eating Hot Pockets but Bray says he’s here to kick the door down. However, Rock has an idea: let’s have a match! We get a referee and Rock says pick any Family member as he takes off the workout gear to reveal trunks.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

The Family surrounds Rock and heeeere’s Cena for the save. House is cleaned, signature moves are hit and Rock welcomes Cena back (he would be back in about a month) to FINALLY end this, 28:15 after the cheerleaders came out (I’m keeping time for a reason in case you couldn’t tell).

It’s 11:03pm so let’s recap the main event. Roman Reigns was World Champion but HHH couldn’t get him to go corporate so it’s Austin vs. Vince again. HHH made Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble, which he of course entered and won to set up this match. People really weren’t all that interested but you knew this was going to happen several months back. You know, because THIS TIME FOR SURE it’s going to get Reigns over.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH is defending and here’s Stephanie in what I think is a Mad Max look. It’s a closeup of her face in front of a barren wasteland as she talks about how this is their world and we’re all just living in it. Basically all hope is lost and we need to give up on this ridiculous belief that anyone can save us from the Authority.

Then an army of people in skull masks (NXT wrestlers with Enzo Amore at the front) carrying WWE Titles comes to the ring to set up HHH’s entrance where Stephanie gets to show off her legs. Again, just like the last two years, the big face gets to follow this rather cool (and over the top) HHH entrance. But hey, at least we get the annual HHH is Cool moment right?

As ridiculous (and as much as they’re begging the fans to boo them instead of Reigns) as this is, it’s NOTHING compared to the outright hatred that Reigns receives. The man is booed out of Texas and allegedly the audio had to be turned down in response. If that’s true…..I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Since these two can’t stand each other, they go to a headlock and armbar to start. The fans unload on Reigns when he shoulders HHH, only to get hiptossed to the floor. Back in and HHH works on the arm some more until Reigns shoves him into the corner for more incredible booing. A lockup goes nowhere as this is already starting to look like one of HHH’s disastrous main events.

Some hard forearms to the back of Reigns’ head put him down. The comeback is so soundly booed that it’s almost comical. A Stunner over the top rope sets up the apron dropkick for one on the champ. Stephanie offers a quick distraction so HHH can get in a low blow (FACE POP) and Reigns goes down again. HHH goes with some hard right hands to the face and the spinebuster gets two.

They head outside with HHH sending him face first into the announcers’ table (which he did a few weeks back to break Reigns’ nose). Another comeback is cut off and Reigns is thrown into the German announcers. Back in and Reigns uppercuts him out of the air and hammers away, only to have HHH bail from the Superman Punch. They trade whips into the steps until Reigns spears him through the barricade for almost no reaction. This is basically the same problem as HHH vs. Jericho in 2002: there’s no reason to believe the champ has a chance so there’s no reason to care until Reigns hits a spear in the ring.

Back in again and Reigns is holding his arm but HE’LL CONTINUE! And without a thirty minute nap like at the Rumble! Oh he’s got his working boots on tonight. HHH puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things because the main event of Wrestlemania with a match that’s supposed to be based on hatred is built around a bad arm. See, when Daniel Bryan did that, it was entertaining. When Reigns is doing it, the fans are cheering the evil villain.

Reigns powers out of something like the Rings of Saturn but can’t knock the confetti off of HHH’s head. It’s back to the armbar until Reigns FINALLY gets the break with a powerbomb. That goes nowhere so WE HIT ANOTHER ARMBAR BECAUSE THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE ALL LONG AND EPIC AND STUFF! Another powerbomb breaks the hold again but the spear is countered into a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop to the floor.

The fans start singing to placate their boredom until the spear gets….no count because Stephanie pulls the referee out. Now Stephanie gets in to yell at the referee, earning herself a spear and turning Reigns into the biggest star in the world (for about thirty seconds). If my memory serves me right, she hasn’t taken a bump in nearly a year since then, or really had anything bad happen to her that lasted more than a day or two.

The Pedigree gives us the first hot near fall of the match and it’s the Superman Punch to drop HHH. The second spear is broken up with a knee and Stephanie hands HHH the sledgehammer (She took a spear less than four minutes ago so OF COURSE she’s capable of doing that. This woman is scary.). Not that it matters as another Superman Punch and the spear give Reigns the title back at 27:04.

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

This needed to be about fifteen minutes shorter and we would have had the same result: Reigns winning and getting booed out of the building because people just don’t want to see him in this spot. There was a total lack of hatred and violence here and it really dragged things down, which is far too often the case for any given HHH match. It’s one of the worst Wrestlemania main events ever and there’s really no way around that.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t think of a single show that is so completely different from the first half to the second. The worst thing about the first few matches is the booking with the worst match being a somewhat dull six man tag. If you cut this off after the Women’s Title, this is one of the better pay per views I’ve seen in several years.

Then the Cell was lowered, kicking off the last “four” matches (counting Rock vs. Rowan) and the long segment. When you add up the Cell, the Rock segment and the main event, they all combined for over two hours. That’s two REALLY bad matches and a segment that went on far too long (but was entertaining at times) adding up to an episode of Smackdown. Clip off fifteen minutes from Shane vs. Undertaker (and another five from the intro/post match stuff), ten from Rock’s stuff (say, him playing with a flamethrower) and AT LEAST ten off the main event and this is instantly a less horrible show.

Unlike most pay per views, Wrestlemania is almost exclusively remembered for two to three matches more often than not. Therefore, it’s a major problem when your two main matches are long and rather horrible. It was hard to keep interest in this show even sitting in the stadium and that should not happen. There’s a lot of good stuff in the first half though and switching the order up would have helped out a lot. Unfortunately that’s completely the opposite of what they did as it was all stupid booking overshadowing the good and then REALLY bad stuff covering the rest of the show.

It’s easy to see why this show is remembered so poorly when the second half is just such a wreck. It felt like a huge way to have the fans get annoyed while WWE laughs and says “we’ve got all your money”. You shouldn’t leave Wrestlemania talking about how bad the show was when there was so much good going on. The bad completely outweighs the good here and there was no way anything else was going to be remembered. Awful show that lives down to its reputation.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXII (Original): This One Doesn’t Count

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.

The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.

A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.

Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.

Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.

Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.

Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder

Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.

Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.

Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.

Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.

Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.

Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.

Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.

That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.

Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.

Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.

As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.

Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.

Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.

Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.

Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.

The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.

The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.

Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.

Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?

The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.

Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.

There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.

Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.

The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.

Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.

With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.

The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.

Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.

The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.

Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




KB’s Review: The Ballad of Emma

WWE at its finest.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-ballad-emma/




Monday Night Raw – October 17, 2017: All Your Shields In One Basket

I apologize for the delay but the in-laws are in town and I had to pick them up at the airport.  They’ll be around for a few weeks so things might be a big slow.  The shows will be up that night but they won’t likely be on time.  Sorry about that.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 16, 2017
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole, Booker T.

It’s the go home show for Tables, Ladders and Chairs but tonight we’re focusing on a cage match with Roman Reigns facing Braun Strowman. In addition to that though we have Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins defending the Tag Team Titles against the Bar. There’s a good chance of a title change with the TLC match this Sunday. Let’s get to it.

As expected, we open with a four minute recap of last week’s Shield reunion.

Here’s Kurt Angle to open things up. Angle hypes up Sunday’s main event but here’s Shield, through the crowd, to the old music and in the riot gear, drawing a VERY strong THIS IS AWESOME chant. Now why couldn’t they do this last week??? Angle lets them have the ring and it’s Rollins saying he can’t believe they’re back. It’s been five years since they debuted and he couldn’t be happier than to be here with his brothers again.

Ambrose, looking more fired up and charismatic than he has in years, says they divide and conquer like no one else. Maybe he got a bit ahead of himself last week when he said they could fight four, five or six guys but he’d do the same thing again all over. He wants to fight right now so here are the Bar, Miz and Strowman. Angle cuts them off though and says if this fight happens, there’s no cage match later. Tensions cool, at least for now.

Elias is with the Club and has a song but the Club wants to warm up their vocal cords. Gallows sounds like a small dog barking before calling us all nerds. Anderson on the other hand clucks like a chicken….and belts out COOL COCKY BAD! Next up is a song about Jason Jordan, meaning it’s time for a six man tag.

Elias/The Club vs. Jason Jordan/Titus O’Neil/Apollo Crews

Titus and Gallows start things off as we hear about Titus trying to recruit Jordan to Titus Worldwide. A big clothesline puts Gallows on the floor and everything breaks down as we take a break. Back with Gallows kicking Crews in the head and handing it off to Elias for some stomping. Crews kicks him in the face and dives over to the hot tag to Jordan so house can be cleaned. A belly to belly gets two and it’s time for the running shoulders all over the place. Crews makes the tag and hits the Toss Powerbomb for the pin on Anderson at 6:48. Not enough shown to rate but this was fine.

Short pay per view rundown.

Video on Asuka.

Emma is sick of hearing about Asuka but here’s Alexa Bliss to say she feels the pain. Bliss shifts the focus to Mickie James, who body shamed her last week. They’re ready for a tag match later tonight.

Video on Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher tormenting Cedric Alexander.

Cedric Alexander vs. Jack Gallagher

Hang on a second though as here’s Rich Swann to even the odds against Kendrick and Gallagher. Jack wastes no time in slugging away and drops Cedric with a headbutt. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a dropkick to the back has Cedric in even more trouble. Another kick to the chest and it’s off to another neck crank. Kendrick offers a distraction, and gets DDT’d by Swann. The distraction lets Cedric hit a Lumbar Check on Gallagher (with an outstanding sell job) for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see until the ending, though you can see the tag match from here. I’m digging Gallagher and Kendrick as a team as of late and they’re good for opponents in a match like this. Unfortunately I’m not sure if they’re going to go anywhere near the title, which makes this a big of a waste of time. The sell of the ending was great though.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz being flanked by the Bar and Curtis Axel but no Bo Dallas. Miz talked about how they’re ready to destroy the Shield right now but they’ll wait until Sunday night. Sheamus says the Shield will be broken into three pieces. They’re ready to destroy Shield and here’s tonight’s guest: their partner on Sunday, Braun Strowman.

Braun says it’s time to destroy the Shield forever and it starts tonight inside the cage. The fans get in a YES/REALLY battle with Miz, who has a bit of a surprise: there’s going to be a fifth member of the team. The fans want Curtis Axel but here’s Kurt Angle to say this isn’t happening.

Kurt has a deal for Miz though: if Strowman wins tonight, the fifth man can join. If Reigns wins though, Strowman is out and it’s 3-3 again. Miz says it’s on but Angle says everyone is banned from ringside in both the cage match (kind of redundant) and the Tag Team Title match.

Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox

Banks made Fox tap in the elimination match last week. Before the match, Fox says she was scratching her nose last week and deserves more respect. Oh and a t-shirt! Sasha wastes no time in trying the Bank Statement but Fox is in the ropes in a hurry. Fox kicks her down and we hit the chinlock in a hurry. There’s a backbreaker into a second chinlock on Banks but Sasha won’t have any more of this. The comeback takes all of a moment and the Bank Statement makes Fox tap at 2:51.

Fox screeches after the loss.

Post break, Fox attacks Banks in the back and sends her into various things. More screeching ensues.

Here’s Enzo Amore for a chat as Graves wants an air sick bag. He misses his title and we see Mustafa Ali costing him the belt last week. Last week, Enzo got ripped off and Kalisto robbed him of the title. This brings out Kalisto for the trash talk but Drew Gulak, Tony Nese, Noam Dar and Ariya Daivari come in for the long form beatdown. Cue Mustafa Ali for the save until the numbers game gets the better of him. This seems a little Survivor Series-ish.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Ambrose are defending. Sheamus starts with Ambrose with Dean stomping him down in the corner. The champs clean house in a hurry to start and the stereo dives put Sheamus and Cesaro down with little trouble. Sheamus forearms Dean down back inside and we take a break.

Back with Rollins fighting out of Sheamus’ chinlock but getting caught in the Irish Curse for two. Stereo kicks to the ribs get two on Rollins and he can’t power out of Cesaro’s front facelock. Cesaro isn’t taking the risk though and kicks Dean off the apron. The fans chant for Ambrose but settle for Seth striking away. Cesaro gets backdropped to the floor and a diving tag brings in Ambrose.

Everything breaks down and Cesaro avoids the catapult into the post ala the teeth incident. Double dives take the Bar down and the top rope elbow gets two on Cesaro. Something like a Hart Attack gets two on Dean but the double crucifix is broken up. Instead it’s a pair of superkicks to the ribs, setting up Dirty Deeds to put Cesaro away and retain the titles at 12:10.

Rating: B. These teams work very well together and it’s amazing how much more interested I was in seeing them fight when the Club and no one else was around to waste our time. It also helps to have Miz doing most of the talking, which was one of the major issues in the previous part of the feud. Good match here, though nothing was coming close to the previous version.

Post break Axel gives the Bar a pep talk because he wants in the main event. Strowman comes in and the pep talking continues. Axel NEEDS to be in that match and is ready to go fight Reigns right now. Strowman: “Then go find him.” Axel: “You mean now?”

We look back at Bray Wyatt becoming Sister Abigail last week.

Here’s Finn Balor for a chat. He talks about the Celtic festival of Sowen, which sounds like Halloween cranked up to eleven. Last week Finn say Bray’s tricks but he has his own too. This Sunday, the Demon will slay a monster of his own. Finn’s demon has no fear….and the Demon paint appears on his face. It disappears and Finn says his Demon dreams of nightmares (paint on and off again) and it wants to meet Sister Abigail. Run. Never let WWE get supernatural.

Emma/Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley/Mickie James

Mickie armbars Emma to start and it’s quickly off to Bayley for a double back elbow and a Paisan elbow drop. Bliss comes in and takes a kind of Twist of Fate over the middle rope. Emma breaks it up at two and a bunch of yelling takes us to a break. Back with Emma sending Bayley into the buckle a few times for no effect. Emma going into the buckle has some effect though and Emma is all staggered. A knee drop gets two on Emma but she sends Bayley outside and into the barricade to take over.

Back in and Bliss hits a running slap to the face, followed by a chinlock to slow things down again. Bayley finally sends her throat first into the ropes and it’s a hot tag to bring in Mickie. House is cleaned in a hurry and Mickie’s top rope Thesz press gets two with Emma making the save. That’s fine with Mickie who superkicks Bliss for the pin at 11:21.

Rating: C. Just a quick match to set up something for Sunday. It didn’t have anything special to it of course and Mickie isn’t likely to win the title but it’s a simple enough story that isn’t hurting anything. Mickie is great in this role and helps bridge the gap until we get to another big challenger.

Axel goes after the Shield and we cut to a break.

Miz gives his future team a pep talk but asks where Axel is. Braun tells him the news and Miz looks terrified.

Mickie is ready for revenge on Sunday. Those insults hurt but Mickie is proud of her career. She has a three year old at home and can’t wait to bring the title home to him.

Sasha vs. Alicia is the Kickoff Show match.

PPV card rundown.

Miz goes looking for Axel….and finds him hanging unconscious upside down from a forklift.

The cage is lowered.

Miz isn’t worried about losing his fifth man, because Axel was never in that spot.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

Inside a cage and Miz jumps in on commentary. Strowman sends him into the corner to start but it’s way too early for the running powerslam. Reigns slips out and tries to climb, only to get pulled down. Some clotheslines have almost no effect but some big boots have a big more effect. Strowman goes shoulder first into the corner and there are the rapid fire clotheslines. One heck of a spinebuster gets two on Roman and we take a break.

Back with Reigns tasting the cage a few times. Strowman throws him at the cage so Reigns grabs the top for a climb. Now why did he think that would work with Strowman looking at him. Strowman misses a charge and hits the cage though, allowing Reigns to score with some kicks to the face. A Samoan drop gets two with a heck of a kickout so Reigns makes another escape attempt. Cue the Bar to cut Reigns off so Ambrose and Rollins are outside to cut them off. THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT IN BANNING THEM BOTH FROM RINGSIDE???

Braun gets up in time to pull Reigns back inside with a superplex off the cage. Miz: “COVER!!!” Everyone not in the match brawls up to the stage as we cut away from the match entirely. Miz joins them and the fight heads backstage. Again, we’re not even looking at the CAGE MATCH WITH TWO MONSTERS FIGHTING EACH OTHER because we need to see this instead. For all we know there’s a tango contest going on at the moment as Miz closes a metal door, locking the four of them in the parking lot.

Back to the ring with Reigns fighting to his feet after suffering from a bad bowl of soup as served up by Chef Strowman (prove that it didn’t happen). Miz is back on commentary as Reigns goes up top, only to slip down and crotch Strowman. A Superman Punch staggers Strowman and a second puts him down. Strowman throws Reigns in the air but gets Superman Punched again for two.

It’s spear time….and Kane’s lights come on. Strowman splashes Reigns but eats a spear anyway. Kane comes up through the mat though and stares Reigns down, followed by a chokeslam. A second chokeslam sets up the running powerslam, followed by a Tombstone for good measure. Strowman adds another powerslam and Reigns is done at 17:24.

Rating: C-. Let me make sure I have this straight. Angle bans everyone from ringside so we have SIX PEOPLE interfere? And Reigns loses his first match after the reunion (not fairly but it’s a loss)? Here’s the thing: Kane was in Shield’s first match and Reigns retired his brother at Wrestlemania so there’s definitely a connection there. Unfortunately we didn’t hear anything about that and it’s basically just the idea that Miz got Kane to join for no apparent reason. Of course the announcers sold things well here, though there’s a better story to tell.

Miz, on top of a ladder, announces Kane as the fifth member of the team to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Sunday really is a case of a one match card and the more they add to that, the less I’m sure it’s going to work. Putting eight people into one match isn’t often a good idea and it takes away a lot of what you might be able to get elsewhere. Really, what else is there? Sister Abigail vs. the Demon sounds more like a joke than anything else. The women’s match feels standard and I’m not thrilled with two cruiserweight matches. There’s a good chance I could be wrong, but if that main event doesn’t work, they’re in major trouble.

Results

Jason Jordan/Titus O’Neil/Apollo Crews b. Elias/The Club – Toss Powerbomb to Anderson

Cedric Alexander b. Jack Gallagher – Lumbar Check

Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox – Bank Statement

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose b. The Bar – Dirty Deeds to Cesaro

Mickie James/Bayley b. Alexa Bliss/Emma – Superkick to Bliss

Braun Strowman b. Roman Reigns – Running powerslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Main Event – August 3, 2017: Now That’s More Like It

Main Event
Date: August 3, 2017
Location: PPG Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves

With less than three weeks before Summerslam….odds are nothing is going to change around here. We’ll likely have the same kind of Raw moments and highlights to go with the original content. That being said, there’s a bit of hope after last week’s rather strong show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. Drew Gulak/Brian Kendrick

Dorado speeds things up on Gulak to start but eats an elbow to the face to cut him off. A sunset flip gives Dorado two and it’s off to Metalik for a dropkick. Kendrick comes in and runs Metalik down so it’s time for some springboards into an armdrag to drop Brian again. Metalik keeps things going with a springboard elbow to the jaw and a dropkick for two. A moonsault hits knees though and it’s time for the villains to take over.

They start in on the arm until Gulak misses a charge in the corner. Metalik joins the I Use The Sling Blade Club to drop Kendrick and the hot tag brings in Dorado to start cleaning house. Gulak counters a leapfrog with a sunset flip (sweet), only to have the luchadors hit stereo moonsaults (off the same buckle). Back in and Dorado drops the shooting star press for the pin on Gulak at 6:52.

Rating: C+. Dorado and Metalik had some good looking high flying stuff in there with those moonsaults looking awesome. It’s also nice to not have the villains win at the very end after getting beaten down for most of the match. I still like Metalik a lot though Lince leaves a few things to be desired.

We get Roman Reigns’ video to hype Monday’s triple threat.

It’s time for MizTV with the Miztourage out in full. Jason Jordan is brought out as the guest but Miz keeps cutting him off to ask about the fans booing Jordan. Jason says he’s ok with the booing because he’s just going to keep going. Miz likes the attitude and offers him a spot in the Miztourage. Jordan says thanks but he’s good. We hear Miz’s resume but Jordan passes again. That’s cool with Miz, who thinks Jordan is cool with his dad handing him everything.

Jason would rather be chewed up and spit out than be associated with someone like Miz. That’s not cool with Miz, who doesn’t have to latch on to a different Olympian every week or rely on someone who was given a job out of pity. Jordan gets in Miz’s face over the Kurt insults but Miz calls off the Miztourage. A charge at Jason is countered into a belly to belly, sending Miz straight into the Miztourage and Jordan bailing before he gets destroyed.

Also from Raw.

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Before the match, Enzo says he’d rather eat a banana peel before he associates with Cass again. Show jumps Cass during the entrances and hammers away, including the loud chop in the corner. Cass can’t whip him so Show sends him outside instead. It’s too late for a break though so an elbow drop gives Show two. Cass starts taking out the leg though and it’s off to a leglock. A big boot to the jaw just seems to wake Show up though and he chops Cass out of the air. Another big boot drops Show….and Enzo comes in for the DQ at 5:07.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? I guess we’re setting up a handicap match at Summerslam, which could be a good win for Cass though I’m really not needing to see Enzo vs. Cass again. Cass has already proven himself over Enzo and there’s no need to keep doing the same thing over and over again.

Post match Cass throws Enzo down but walks into the KO Punch to end the show.

Samoa Joe’s video hyping the triple threat.

Emma vs. Mickie James

Mickie headlocks her down to start and easily flips out of a headscissors. A pinfall reversal sequence gives us some near falls, followed by Mickie getting two more off a neckbreaker. Emma misses a charge in the corner and gets kicked in the face as we take a break. Back with Mickie not being able to hit the MickieDT but it’s a flapjack into a nipup to keep Emma in trouble. Mickie’s middle rope Thesz press gets two but she gets sent face first into the middle buckle for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: D. That felt like they had to go home REALLY fast as they were starting to roll and then Emma hit one move for the pin. This was more out of the pre-Women’s Revolution playbook and I don’t think anyone wants to go back there. I’m assuming Emma is still being punished for wanting more screen time because Heaven forbid anyone want something like that.

Strowman’s video.

Recap of the triple threat, including Monday’s in-ring segment.

And of course, to wrap things up.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe

Strowman starts running both of them over in the early going, sending both of them out to the floor. Back with Strowman missing a charge and getting kicked in the head for his efforts. Joe kicks Strowman in the head and gets in a fight with Roman, who he pulls down into a Fujiwara armbar. The fight heads outside for a bit with Joe grabbing the Koquina Clutch on Strowman over the barricade.

Strowman is almost out but Joe lets go to fight Reigns inside. The Rock Bottom is broken up and Reigns loads up the Superman Punch, only to have Joe roll outside in a smart move. That’s fine with Roman who hits the Superman Punch off the steps but Strowman is back up to block a spear with a big boot. Strowman LAUNCHES Reigns from the floor back inside but Joe gets in another kick.

The steps are put inside as Joe grabs the Clutch on Roman with Strowman making the save. There’s the powerslam for two on Joe as Reigns has to make a save this time. Strowman is back up with the steps but a Superman Punch knocks them away. The steps knock Strowman outside and the spear ends Joe at 14:38.

Rating: B. I certainly don’t think this means that Reigns wins at Summerslam but MY GOODNESS they have more guts than I thought if they actually go with that. Joe was the only option to eat the pin here (unfortunately) because you don’t want Strowman losing more than he ever has to. Reigns winning is another attempt to troll the fans (in theory) but I’d really hope they don’t mess this up at Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. This was back to business as usual for Main Event as there was almost nothing worth seeing with the original content being very forgettable. That being said, it’s still really hard to complain about a show that covers the big stuff from Raw and gives you two original matches in about forty five minutes. Nothing great of course, but completely watchable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6