What do you get when you put a bunch of wrestlers in one place and have people watch them? You get…..well normally you get a wrestling show but what I’m talking about here is a stable. Today we’re looking at the tag team/group of the year but before we get there, I need to write off a few names that will NOT be on the list for various reasons.
First up are the Bullet Club and Los Ingobernables de Japon. I know who both of them are and I’ve seen some of their work but I haven’t seen enough of them to really put something together about them. Now go ahead and tell me how horrible I am for not watching enough New Japan.
Second, the Young Bucks won’t be on here for reasons of I can’t stand them.
As usual these are in no particular order.
1. DIY.
Do I need to do anything else here besides just showing you their matches with the Revival? That match in Toronto is almost a guarantee for Match of the Year (or a tie in my case) and that makes them really hard to overlook. The guys are just flat out awesome and know how to do this tag team thing like almost no one else can today. They’re entertaining guys and that’s all that matters down in NXT.
What’s even more impressive about DIY is the fact that they were able to do this while following American Alpha, who looked like the best team in a long time. What does it tell you when a team has to follow the best team people have seen in years and manage to outshine them and have an even better match? That just does not happen in wrestling and that’s what we got with DIY.
2. Enzo and Big Cass.
Now this is at the entirely different end of the spectrum as Enzo and Cass aren’t exactly the most technically sound team in the world but they’re just so entertaining almost every single week. If nothing else, just look at them as Woody and Buzz Lightyear on the Halloween episode of Monday Night Raw. That brought a genuine smile to my face and that doesn’t happen very often.
I don’t know if Enzo and Cass will ever be a serious tag team but if all they do is serve as a means to make Cass into a singles star, that’s just fine. Enzo is a great talker and gets to showcase that gift of jab as long as he doesn’t keep getting hurt. Cass is the real star of the team though and there’s a lot of entertainment to be had watching him try to do the East River Crossing on big guys.
3. Broken Hardys.
I’ve talked a lot about how amazing the Broken Universe stuff was in 2016 but what a lot of people overlook is how the wrestling has gone. While Matt might not be the best in ring performer, Jeff is still better than most wrestlers in the company and can more carry the team when they’re actually having matches.
I know the Hardys are entertaining but if you have the Tag Team Titles for so many months, you have to be able to do more than just do some weird stuff in the backyard. Let Jeff do most of the match while Matt gets to be a little wacky on the side but I wouldn’t go much further than that. The key to the Hardys is to keep Matt under control and let the great team be great, which doesn’t happen often enough.
4. American Alpha.
You knew I was going to get here at some point. American Alpha absolutely took NXT by storm and looked like one of the best tag teams of all time. They had one of the best opening matches of all time against Revival at Takeover: Dallas and wound up winning the Smackdown Tag Team Titles to end the year.
That’s where the team moves up a spot for me: not only did they have success on the NXT roster but they also pulled off something special on the main roster in such a short time. They’re one of the most entertaining teams I’ve seen in a long time and are basically the modern Steiners. They even used the Steiner Bulldog as a nice tribute and that’s never a bad thing at all.
5. Revival.
Speaking of American Alpha, this team managed to go from one excellent feud to an even better one with a pair of match of the year candidates. I can’t remember the last time that happened and it’s just amazing to watch. This is a team that just gets how to be villains and while I’m not sure that’s going to work so well on the main roster, it’s made for some outstanding stuff down in NXT.
It’s so rare to see a team that wrestles the old school work on a body part style in the vein of the Andersons and that means we got to see Andersons vs. Steiners in 2016. I had a blast watching that American Alpha match but I was blown away seeing them have a completely different style match against DIY. Maybe they won’t do well on NXT but it was more than worthy of being the best team in NXT.
6. New Day.
Oh yeah you knew we were getting here at some point. New Day might be the most over tag team since the Legion of Doom and that’s some very rare company to be in. They were one of the most over teams you’ll ever see and sweet goodness the pops and merchandise sales are unthinkable. Then there’s the whole longest reigning Tag Team Champions in history and all that jazz.
I don’t know what New Day does going forward but they’re some of the most entertaining tag wrestlers in a long time. They managed to take some of the dumbest jokes in wrestling history and turned them into either a t-shirt or a freaking cereal that was sold in stores. How in the world does that even work? Like….THEY HAVE THEIR OWN CEREAL!
Overall though, I’m going with Revival. I just can’t get over how amazing they managed to become in the ring and having two outstanding matches (not counting the other great stuff they did aside from the two title losses). I’d love to see them on the main roster but if they just have to stay down in NXT and be one of the best tag teams in the last twenty five years, so be it.
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Hell in a Cell 2016 Date: October 30, 2016
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s the annual “scary” show as we have three matches inside the Cell. In this case we’ve got Rusev challenging Roman Reigns for the US Title, Kevin Owens defending the Raw World Title against Seth Rollins and, possibly, a main event of Charlotte going after Sasha Banks’ Women’s Title. If that’s true, it’s the biggest match in the history of women’s wrestling. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Lince Dorado/Cedric Alexander/Sin Cara vs. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari
Rematch from Superstars. Cara and Nese start things off and Dorado looks so much like Cara that Mauro Ranallo gets them confused. A couple of backbreakers have Nese’s partners in trouble as we get a Sin Cara chant. Cara moonsaults onto Daivari to set up a double tag to Dorado and Nese with the former cleaning house off a variety of kicks. A shooting star press gets two on Nese and everything breaks down. Nese throws Dorado onto Cara and Cedric to send us to a break.
Back (after that freaky Ziggler vs. Miz chicken ad) with Daivari kneeing Dorado in the face and the fans not going along with Nese’s pleas for a DAIVARI chant. Nese trips Dorado and springboards into a Lionsault which barely grazes Lince but gets two anyway. The hot tag brings in Alexander to a very nice reaction. A triple dive takes the heels out and everything breaks down with a series of strikes and slams all around. Cedric stomps on Gulak and gives him the Lumbar Check for the pin at 9:37.
Rating: C. This is the kind of match you have these guys around for: it’s entertaining, there’s little reason for it to be taking place and the fans freak out because of all the high spots. These guys are great for popping a crowd but it all falls apart when they’re trying to do something serious, which is a problem for a division like this.
The opening video features the Ouija board theme before talking about the three main matches and all the violence that will ensue.
US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Cole says this is the 34th time the Cell has been lowered, which really doesn’t have the same ring to it anymore. Reigns is defending and slugs away to start before heading outside for some failed rams into the cage. Rusev gets knocked off the apron and into the cage before being whipped into the cage. A kick to the head gets Rusev out of trouble and he takes Reigns back inside to start working on the arm.
Rusev misses a charge though and gets clotheslined in the corner, followed by a boot to the face. That just earns Reigns a whip into the steps before Rusev changes the pace a bit by hitting the champ in the face with the steps. They head back inside with Reigns slingshotting into a dropkick through the ropes to send Rusev into the cage again.
It’s already time for a kendo stick and a table as the champ pounds away on Rusev’s back. They head inside again and Rusev gets the cane away before tying Reigns up. Some hard shots to the chest have Reigns in trouble until a spear gets a quick near fall. The Superman Punch connects for two but the second spear is blocked by a loud superkick.
Rusev sends him face first into the steps (on the top rope) for two more and frustration is setting in. The Accolade goes on with Reigns’ shoulders nearly being pulled out of socket. The champ gets out again so Rusev opts for a chain, which is quickly knocked out of his hands. We actually get dueling Rusev chants as he loads the steps back into the ring. Rusev’s kick to the face gets two more and it’s back to the Accolade with Reigns on the steps with the chain in his mouth. Naturally Roman powers out of it into a Samoan drop onto the steps. Rusev stands up and gets speared off the steps for the pin at 24:31.
Rating: B+. And so much for Rusev and the Accolade at the moment. This was reaching Cena levels of taking a beating and surviving over and over no matter what happens, though at least it’s in a match designed to be that barbaric. The other problem is who fights Reigns next. It’s not like there’s anyone really ready to face him on the Raw roster but at least they can just put him on the Survivor Series roster to buy themselves a month.
We look at Seth Rollins winning the triple threat on Monday.
Owens isn’t impressed at Rollins beating him for three seconds out of a match that lasted about 600. Then he powerbombed Rollins onto the apron, just like he did to John Cena. Tonight Rollins wants to get inside a Cell to become Universal Champion to prove he’s the man. That won’t be happening because Owens is going to do in the Cell will make what we just saw look like a cakewalk. After the match tonight, it won’t be clear what Rollins will be but Owens will be the man.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Rematch from a few weeks ago on Raw where Dana won, albeit with the ending looking a bit botched. Bayley gets in a few kicks to the ribs but Dana takes her into the corner to pull on the bad shoulder. Some knees to the should have Bayley in trouble, though I’m not sure why Dana keeps screaming before each knee drop. Dana loads up the ram into the post that won her the first match but gets blocked, only to have Bayley’s bad arm draped across the top rope. A quick suplex from Bayley and a basement clothesline set up the middle rope elbow to the jaw. The Bayley to Belly gets the pin at 6:27.
Rating: C-. Not much to this one but the right person won and that’s the important idea here. Dana is fine for a gatekeeper heel, especially when the division is as weak as it is at the moment. Bayley is probably in line for a title feud at this point and the good thing is there’s enough history for her to go face vs. face with Sasha if she retains tonight.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon play Exposition Theater about Survivor Series when Chris Jericho comes in to ask why he’s not on Team Raw. This leads into a discussion of Foley being put on the List for a third time, a trinity, a triumvirate or tres tiempos. Foley isn’t intimidated by threats of getting IT (“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”) so Jericho gets back to the point: he and Kevin Owens should be the captains of Team Raw. Stephanie doesn’t think so because Owens has a title defense to worry about.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows
Before the match, Enzo has a message for Andy and the Big Gal. Enzo: “You are like Times New Roman s going to go upside Luke’s head like Big Papi. Enzo thinks that after tonight, he’s going to have to start calling Cass Woody because he’s going to have Andy all over the bottom of his boot (if I have to explain that reference to you……yeah I’ve got nothing).
Enzo cross bodies Anderson to start and it’s already off to Cass for some shots in the corner. The bald guys are taken to the floor where Gallows clotheslines Enzo’s head off to take over. It’s a short form beating though as Enzo shoves Anderson off the top and hits his middle rope DDT. That means a hot tag off to Cass to clean house with Karl being sent out to the floor. The Empire Elbow gets two on Anderson but Cass misses the big boot. Enzo tags himself in for a high crossbody and the dancing jabs. Gallows comes right back with a superkick and the Magic Killer puts Enzo away at 6:45.
Rating: D+. Again, not much to this one but this isn’t the match that people are watching the show to see. Enzo and Cass are likely losing here to set up a big road to redemption where they FINALLY win the titles sometime in the new year and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Anderson and Gallows needed a win or two to get them back on track and this is as good of an option as they had.
We recap Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins. Owens won the title a few months back in a fourway with Owens receiving a bit of help from HHH. Rollins then had the title won last month until the referee was taken out and Rollins’ pin wasn’t counted. Seth claimed conspiracy so the solution was to put them inside the Cell.
Raw World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
This means the women are indeed main eventing tonight. Rollins is challenging and is coming in with a bad back thanks to a powerbomb on the apron to end Raw. That means more kinesio tape, which I’m convinced is some kind of product placement. Owens immediately goes for the weapons on the floor but gets chopped for his efforts.
Back inside and Rollins gets two off the Sling Blade before shouting that he’s the man around here. Owens: “Shut up.” A Blockbuster gets two more and it’s already table time. That takes too long though and the bad back is sent into the corner, setting up a backsplash to make things even worse.
Seth is sent into the cage and Owens rips off the tape, which Cole seems to think would hurt worse than the steel. Back in and Seth fires off more chops but Owens sends him through the ropes and face first into the cage. The slow beating continues as the Cannonball sends Seth back outside. That’s fine with Owens as he hits a second Cannonball up against the cage but it’s still too early for the Pop Up Powerbomb.
Instead they trade superkicks, followed by an enziguri to Owens and a BIG clothesline to Rollins as both guys drop. Owens is up first and grabs another table, which he puts on the apron and wedges into the Cell wall at an angle with the original table set up underneath it. Rollins is up with something like a Falcon’s Arrow onto the apron, followed by back to back suicide dives to send Kevin into the steel.
Owens busts out a fire extinguisher but sprays the referee for some reason. The fans want Jericho and here he comes as the original referee is taken out, likely due to a bad case of being cold. Jericho locks himself inside along with a second referee and the key. Rollins knocks Chris into the cage but walks into the package side slam for two more. Fans: “STUPID IDIOT!”
The springboard knee to the face sets up the Pedigree but Jericho makes the save and takes it instead. Rollins powerbombs Owens (after muscling him up) through the double tables and the fans lose it. The frog splash looks to finish but Jericho pulls the referee out to keep things going. That’s enough for Seth who powerbombs Jericho into the Cell, only to walk into the Pop Up Powerbomb for a very close two.
The Canadians start double teaming Rollins with Jericho handing the champ a chair to unload on Rollins’ back. Jericho tries to bring in a second chair and the results are as expected with Seth taking it away and cleaning house. Kevin chairs Seth down again and sets up the two chairs for a big old powerbomb to retain the titles at 23:19.
Rating: B. This was a better story with the good guy fighting through the overwhelming odds until he just couldn’t hang in there anymore. It keeps Rollins looking strong and gives Owens a win, which thankfully he didn’t need HHH to help him earn. It’s still nothing great but at least it was the right ending with no interference from someone who wasn’t involved in the story.
Post match Jericho gives Rollins a Codebreaker.
Pre-show recap.
Cruiserweight Title: Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins
Perkins is defending and Kendrick is getting desperate to keep his career going. They trade rollups to start until Kendrick charges into a hiptoss. A slingshot hilo sends Brian outside but it’s too early for the Wrecking Ball dropkick. Kendrick tries to tie TJ to the ropes using the athletic tape but the champ is right back with another dropkick. A belly to back suplex looks to set up something off the top, only to have TJ dive into a dropkick for two.
The fireman’s carry enziguri sets up the Wrecking Ball but a rollup is countered into the Captain’s Hook. TJ grabs the rope and Brian does the same to escape the kneebar. Brian loads up Sliced Bread #2 but tweaks his knee. Of course he’s gold bricking and, after waiting around for about a minute, TJ goes over to him and gets headbutted into the Captain’s Hook to give Kendrick the title at 10:33.
Rating: D. GAH this was so boring. I’ve tried to care about the cruiserweights but does ANYONE want to see these two and their stupid issues with Kendrick’s mid-life crisis and TJ spouting off video game references? The match was fine but I was just so bored through the whole thing and there’s no way around that.
Cesaro and Sheamus have a bonding moment and say they’re ready to team together after hating each others guts. As expected, this turns into an argument, this time over rental cars.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus
New Day is defending and say Cesaro is on the verge of some major endorsement deals, including shoes. This turns into a discussion of Kofi wearing Rob Gronkowski shoes to start a Patriots chant. Sheamus will get some deals of his own, but only on things like trashcans. The one thing you’ll never see Sheamus around is these titles because NEW DAY ROCKS.
Sheamus clubs on Woods (odd to not have Kofi defending the titles) to start and it’s off to Cesaro for some uppercuts. The Irish Curse gets two but Sheamus charges into some boots in the corner for the hot tag off to Big E. Woods dives onto Cesaro and Sheamus’ Brogue Kick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two.
White Noise gets the same on Woods but Sheamus misses a charge and gets caught by the springboard elbow. Cesaro Swings Woods but Big E. remembers that he’s in this match and makes the save. The Midnight Hour is broken up and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Cesaro by mistake. That’s only good for two as well and the champs are sent outside.
Sheamus goes up top (Byron: “Where is Sheamus going?” Cole: “To the top.”) and dives onto all of New Day for a big crash. The legal Woods and Cesaro are thrown inside and Xavier gets caught in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring. Sheamus hits Big E. with the trombone and gets hit with Trouble in Paradise for the DQ at 10:23. As you might guess, Woods taps at the exact same time as the DQ.
Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting and the right call. If they just have to go with Cesaro and Sheamus as the eventual champions then so be it, but at least let us get through the record. Otherwise, why bother keeping the titles on New Day for the last several months in the first place? The match was fine and I bought some of the near falls so it could have been a lot worse.
Video on Goldberg vs. Lesnar for no other purpose but to extend the show because that needs to happen.
We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, which is culminating in the first ever women’s pay per view main event and the first ever women’s match inside the Cell.
Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is challenging and comes out being carried on a throne. Sasha repeats her Takeover: Brooklyn entrance by being driven out in an Escalade and having four people escort her to the ring. We hit the Big Match Intros and then the Cell is lowered. Charlotte jumps the champ before the Cell reaches the ground so they can fight on the floor and extend the show even more.
The Cell is on the ground and Sasha loads up the announcers’ table….but they both climb the wall. Charlotte drops down and hits a wicked powerbomb through the table. Sasha tries to get up but falls back down and EMTs are called. She’s put on a stretcher and Charlotte is announced as the new champion but Sasha gets up and goes inside to start the match (At 10:52 because screw you if you have a job and need to get up early. If you’re going to watch a WWE show, you better be committed.).
Sasha goes right at her to start but gets monkey flipped into the cage wall. A throw over the top sends Sasha’s back into the apron but she pops back up for a baseball slide as Charlotte gets a chair. Back in and Charlotte chops her down in the corner but stops to set up the chair. That means she’s going to go face first into the steel, only to have Charlotte drop her back first onto the chair.
They head outside with Sasha climbing the cage wall and hitting the double knees to the chest to put both women down again. Back in and Three Amigos set up a frog splash on Charlotte for the big near fall. There’s the Bank Statement but Charlotte powers out and fires off a few kicks. Sasha is right back up to lay her on the corner for the double knees onto the chest onto a chair for a loud crash. Charlotte comes right back by pulling Banks to the floor and sending her face first into the steps.
For the third time tonight we have a table set up at ringside and Sasha kicks Charlotte off the apron for a very weak bump. Thankfully they load up another table, which Charlotte pushes into Sasha’s chest to drive her into the Cell again. The Figure Eight goes on but Sasha grabs a chair and blasts Charlotte for the break. Two backbreakers into a side slam get two on Sasha and Charlotte loads her onto the table for the moonsault. It’s still too early for that though and Sasha crotches her on top, only to collapse when trying a running powerbomb. Natural Selection gives Charlotte the title back at 22:49.
Rating: B. That was quite the anticlimactic ending but it was quite the violent brawl up to that point. I’m really not sure about putting the title back on Charlotte as there’s only Bayley next and it’s probably a stretch to have Bayley win one pay per view match and then move up to the title challenger. Still though, really good, match (weak spots aside) and certainly historic, but the ending wasn’t great.
Overall Rating: B. The big matches all delivered but everything else belonged on Raw or in a dumpster somewhere. I’m really glad the women went on last though as it saves this from being a nothing show that isn’t going to be remembered in more than a week or two. I know people seem to think I’m ridiculous for this but I still can’t stand the overrun and this was the best example of why.
Look at some of the stuff on here to extend the show from the Goldberg promo to various Network ads to the buildup to the main event taking nearly ten minutes. It’s just adding to an already long show and doesn’t help anything. That aside, it’s entertaining and a good pay per view and that’s the best thing you can have most of the time.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Rusev – Accolade
Bayley b. Dana Brooke – Bayley to Belly
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass – Magic Killer to Amore
Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins – Powerbomb through two chairs
Brian Kendrick b. TJ Perkins – Captain’s Hook
Cesaro/Sheamus b. New Day via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks – Natural Selection
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It’s time, once again, for that Halloween spectacle where WWE takes one of their biggest concepts and does it three times in one night before wondering why the thrill and mystique left so very long ago. It’s time for “Hell in a Cell 2016” with three matches taking place inside the Cell, plus a handful of other matches that don’t mean quite as much. Let’s get to it.
We’ll start on the Kickoff Show with Lince Dorado/Cedric Alexander/Sin Cara vs. Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari/Drew Gulak in a rematch from this week’s “Superstars”. Yeah the Kickoff Show is now copying the D show that only airs on the Network. The first match was something that indeed happened and I can’t seem to remember anything else about it despite watching the match yesterday. My guess is that’s due to the lack of personalities, characters or almost anything interesting about any of the six. I’ll take Alexander and company to win on the grounds of a coin flip as there’s not much to care about here.
We might as well get rid of the cruiserweights here with Cruiserweight Champion TJ Perkins defending against Brian Kendrick in the third match in a series that I don’t think most people needed to see go to a second match. They’ve traded wins to set up Kendrick’s second shot at the title, which is becoming less and less important every single week. I’ll go with Kendrick getting the belt here as he already lost to Rich Swann, which would seem to set up Swann as the first challenger to the new champion. That makes enough sense, assuming you think having the cruiserweights around on the main roster still makes sense.
Let’s go to something a little more fun as Enzo Amore/Big Cass face Anderson and Gallows. This is an interesting one as you have the highly entertaining and incredibly popular Amore and Cass, who have yet to actually win a regular tag match on pay per view while Anderson and Gallows came in hot and have floundered since the Draft. The question here is which one actually breaks through and wins something.
I think I’ll take Anderson and Gallows winning here as the whole idea of Anderson and Gallows wanting to crush the silliness out of the division makes sense if you’re building towards Amore and Cass winning the titles at “Wrestlemania XXXIII”. However, the idea of giving a team a new gimmick has never stopped WWE from having them lose on pay per view right out of the gate.
Anderson and Gallows seem to be more gatekeepers than contenders, which is kind of a shame on one hand but at the same time Amore and Cass eventually winning the titles is a better story. I’ll go with the bald guys here with the promise of a bigger payoff for the popular guys later.
Let’s go to one of the biggest matches as we step inside of the Cell for the first time with Roman Reigns defending the United States Title against Rusev. Once you get past the idea that Reigns has been the heel for most of this feud by doing stuff like attacking Rusev’s wife and beating on a defenseless Rusev with a chair, there’s been a very physical feud in there with both guys beating the heck out of each other.
I don’t know why, but I think Rusev wins here. It’s nothing but pure instinct, but I think they’ll give the title back to the Bulgarian here and let Reigns move on up to the World Title scene again. Keeping in mind that my gut instincts are almost never right, take this one with a barrel or two of salt. However, I’m going to stick with that idea and say Rusev actually gets the belt back here, despite how little sense it would make in either the small or grand scheme of things.
Next up we’ll look at something a bit less intense as Dana Brooke faces Bayley. This is another confusing one as Brooke won their most recent match, though it seemed to be a somewhat botched ending. Aside from that, Bayley hasn’t exactly been on fire since she debuted on the main roster as the crowd is still behind her but there’s not much of a spark to her.
I’ll still take Bayley to win though as she has more potential as a challenger to whoever walks out of the Women’s Title match with the belt. Brooke isn’t the most interesting thing in the world and is a good obstacle for Bayley to overcome. I really can’t imagine a scenario of Brooke challenging for the title and unless Nia Jax is reappearing on “Monday Night Raw” to go after the title, this is Bayley’s match to lose and there’s no real reason to go any other direction.
We’ll clear out the last non-Cell match with New Day defending the Tag Team Titles against Cesaro and Sheamus. Several people, including myself, have gone on several rants about how stupid it is to just throw Cesaro and Sheamus together after all those weeks of them fighting each other but ok, whatever. They’re getting the title shot here.
That being said, there isn’t the greatest case for new champions here. Sure New Day has gotten a little more stale over the last month or so, but they’ve held the titles for well over a year and are about six weeks away from setting the all time record. If WWE just MUST go with Cesaro and Sheamus as a team and wants them in the title picture, let New Day break the record and then go with the new champions sometime around Christmas. New Day should keep the belts here, not defend them at “Survivor Series 2016”, and then lose them at some point in the future.
Now we’ll move on to the two major matches, starting with Sasha Banks defending the Women’s Title against Charlotte inside the Cell. This is the first time any women have participated in this particular match and on top of that it’s in Banks’ hometown of Boston. Why they didn’t just wait until this show to do the title change isn’t clear but the match being inside the Cell is a huge milestone for women’s wrestling. If this match closes the show (more on that later), it’s the biggest match in the women’s wrestling history.
This is where I get scared of WWE as there’s always a chance that they’ll have the biggest layup imaginable and screw it up. Banks retaining here should be an easy concept but WWE seems to have no problem crippling their stars’ hometown fans. If Banks loses and this doesn’t go on last, I have no idea how they expect the fans to care about the main event.
But yeah, Banks wins here and goes on to feud with either Bayley or Jax in the first part of the new year as we somehow get to the Four Horsewomen in a match at “Wrestlemania XXXIII”. Charlotte will be fine as she regroups and fights someone else (I’m not sure who though.) but Banks should go over here.
That leaves us with the Raw World Title match as Kevin Owens defends against Seth Rollins. Where do you even start with this one? Owens is being overshadowed by Chris Jericho who doesn’t have a role on this show and Rollins is being overshadowed by HHH, who may or may not show up tomorrow night for the sake of a slight advancement in this glacial paced story which seems to be setting up Rollins vs. HHH because that’s the rub Rollins needs.
Rollins has even come close to saying that winning the title isn’t the point here because it’s all about impressing or showing up the Authority, which is the real title on this brand. Owens has been completely forgotten as champion as he was handed the belt as part of the HHH vs. Rollins feud and has since been turned into a glorified Jericho lackey. But somehow, this is one of the pay per view’s main events.
I’ll go with Owens retaining via HHH interference because you have to have some kind of cheating in a major match like this because that’s how pay per view main events work. Rollins can go on to feud with HHH while Owens and Jericho probably get into it over the title, assuming Jericho is going to be sticking around and not going on tour with Fozzy instead. Owens wins here and is probably a lot worse off as a result because the title means that little anymore.
That leaves us with the big question: what goes on last? There have been stories all over the place about whether Rollins vs. Owens or Banks vs. Charlotte is the main event with “Monday Night Raw” General Manager Mick Foley officially saying it would be the women but then backtracking with the lame excuse of there can be multiple main events.
Here’s the thing: Banks vs. Charlotte main eventing is a major story and a first time ever moment that makes WWE look like they’re trying to do something special. If Owens vs. Rollins goes on last, it’s just not that interesting. They’re in a lame feud and it’s not going to matter to have them go on last. Just let the women, in Banks’ hometown, do something historic for a change so the fans can have some fun.
Overall, this is a moderately interesting show on paper but I’m much more interested in the upcoming “Survivor Series 2016”, which has left this one feeling pretty unimportant. Having three Cell matches waters the concept down but at least there’s going to be a big feeling with something this big taking place…..at least the first time they do it.
Monday Night Raw – September 12, 2016: Third Hour Blues
Monday Night Raw Date: September 12, 2016
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Corey Graves
Raw’s woes begin again this week as there’s a double header of Monday Night Football tonight. The company is countering with Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens and if Reigns wins, he’s added to the Raw World Title match at Clash of Champions. In theory this should involve some Rusev interference but that might be a bit too much common sense. Let’s get to it.
We open with Last Week on Raw with Seth Rollins turning face and getting a title shot at the pay per view.
Opening sequence.
Mick Foley is in the ring to talk about the main event and to introduce Charlotte with Dana Brooke. Charlotte brow beats Dana for the loss to Bayley and is trying to get the records change to say that Dana lost last week. Dana tries to apologize but Mick cuts them off to talk about Clash of Champions. This brings out Sasha to say she’s taking the title at the pay per view.
Before that can go anywhere, here’s Bayley to interrupt as well. She would love to see Sasha get a title shot tonight but Bayley beat the champ last week so maybe she should get a title shot instead. Charlotte laughs this off and says Sasha doesn’t get to pick when the title is defended.
Mick does though and suggests that we need a #1 contender. Dana suggests another best of seven series but Charlotte threatens to slap the taste out of her mouth. That goes nowhere though as Mick makes Sasha vs. Bayley for the #1 contendership tonight. Dana slaps Charlotte before anyone can realize how stupid it is to waste Sasha vs. Bayley here, earning her a spot in the #1 contenders match as well.
Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke
The winner gets the title shot at Clash of Champions and Charlotte is on commentary. Bayley is quickly sent outside and Sasha is sent outside to follow, allowing Bayley to roll Dana up for two. Dana gets beaten down and pulled to the floor, leaving us with a showdown as we take a break. Back with Dana cranking on Bayley’s arms as you can really see that they’re protecting Sasha by letting the other two do the bulk of the work.
Sasha comes back in and loads up the double knees, only to put Bayley underneath her. Bayley moves and Dana takes the full thing, leaving Bayley to go up top for the high crossbody. The Tower of Doom plants Dana and it’s off to the Bank Statement. Bayley makes the save and hits the Bayley to Belly on Dana, only to have Sasha roll Bayley up for the pin at 12:14. Ignore Sasha’s shoulders being down on the rollup and Bayley’s feet being on top of her.
Rating: C+. Sasha hiding and bad ending aside, this was about what you would want out of these three in a triple threat. Well aside from Bayley getting pinned of course. You know maybe I have more problems with this match than I was thinking. I’m not sure why you don’t have Dana take the fall here but at least it wasn’t Sasha vs. Bayley one on one.
Post break Dana apologizes to Charlotte but the champ just tells her to get the bags. Was that slap already erased from existence?
The Shining Stars offer R-Truth a time share in Puerto Rico. Truth: “YAHTZEE!” Goldust comes in before the payment goes through though and here are Enzo and Cass to say last week’s loss wasn’t fair. Spanish is spoken and I think the challenge is accepted.
Kevin Owens calls HHH his mentor and says Roman Reigns doesn’t belong in the same ring as the champ. Tonight he’ll make sure Seth Rollins is all alone at Clash of Champions. Chris Jericho comes in to say he’ll be having Sami Zayn on the Highlight Reel tonight, even though he’s a stupid idiot.
Bo Dallas vs. Brandon Scott
Bo says he can only believe in himself. Brandon is sent into the corner and taken down by three straight gutbusters. A Roll of the Dice ends Scott at 1:13. Why are they making Bo better than he’s been since he debuted after that big ordeal a few weeks back?
It’s time for the Highlight Reel with promises of some hard hitting journalism. Jericho was excited about the idea of interviewing Kevin Owens, who is so handsome that Tom Cruise and/or Brad Pitt could play him in their life story movie. Instead he gets Sami Zayn, who is the lowest of the low. Jericho laughs at Sami for not even having Owens’ new phone number but Sami is amazed that Jericho brought him out here to talk about Owens. Zayn loves the idea that Jericho buys into what Owens says and he only cares about that Universal Title.
That doesn’t fly with Jericho so he takes credit for Sami and Owens wanting to be where they are today. Sami goes into a rant about how it was people like Eddie Guerrero who paved the way for him and now Jericho, a former World Champion, is just Kevin’s lackey. Jericho offers to show Sami a text from Kevin but breaks his phone over Sami’s head, likely setting up a match at the Clash.
Sheamus vs. Cesaro
Match #5 in the Best of 7 Series with Cesaro down 3-1. Sheamus hits him in the bad back to start and sends Cesaro into the corner a few times. A quick running uppercut looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus bails to the floor. More uppercuts give Cesaro two and we take a break. Back with Cesaro having to fight out of an over the shoulder backbreaker and hitting the high crossbody for two.
It’s too early for the Cloverleaf so Cesaro comes back with the springboard corkscrew uppercut for another near fall. White Noise is countered into the Sharpshooter but Cesaro’s back won’t let him get the hold on full. The Swing doesn’t work either and Sheamus gets two off the Irish Curse. The High Cross is broken up and Cesaro grabs a rollup with his foot on the ropes for the pin at 9:57.
Rating: C-. I’m not even going to bother complaining about how long this feud has been going. The cheating really doesn’t do anything for Cesaro other than keeping this thing going even longer but of course no one is going to say anything about it because that would make too much sense. The matches aren’t even bad as much as they’re just there at this point and that’s a lot bigger of a problem.
Seth Rollins comes in to see Mick Foley and accuses him of just being there to do whatever Stephanie wants him to do. Mick is really not happy with that and yells about it, only to have Rollins suggest that Mick is lost in all this.
Alicia Fox vs. Nia Jax
This is over Nia hurting Alicia’s friend last week. Nia says she doesn’t do crazy. Fox is sent into the corner for the required shoulders to the ribs and they head outside. Nia drives her back first into the post and then tosses her into the barricade a few times. A spear sends Alicia through the barricade and the match is stopped at about 2:00.
Here’s New Day to say that last week Gallows and Anderson tried to be entertaining. Woods: “DO NOT TOUCH OUR THING!” They load up the Old Day footage but say there’s no way we’re showing that again. That skit was so bad that it made everyone lose five minutes and thirty seven seconds of their lives. That time could have been spent watching Baltimore Ravens highlights (Big E: “Are we pandering now?”) or poured a big old bowl of BootyO’s. Anderson and Gallows come out to say they’ll win the titles and that’s about it. If WWE is telling you that one of their segments bombed, you can really tell it was bad.
Anderson and Gallows vs. New Day
Non-title with Kofi and Woods for the champs. This is joined in progress with Woods working on Anderson’s arm before it’s off to Kofi for a top rope stomp. Thankfully that lets us ignore the stupid line with the commentators comparing Anderson and Gallows to Demolition. Gallows comes I and throws Kofi to the floor before just kicking him in the face.
We hit the chinlock from Anderson as the announcers say the Smackdown Tag Team Champions aren’t in the same league as these teams. True but I wish they wouldn’t try to set up a brand vs. brand story yet. Kofi finally kicks away and makes the tag to Woods for some house cleaning, including the Honor Roll for two on Karl. The slugout actually goes to Xavier and the bottom rope tornado DDT sets up a top rope elbow. Gallows remembers he’s in the match and makes the save, setting up the Magic Killer to end Woods at 9:29.
Rating: C. This was 100% course correction for Anderson and Gallows as they turn into exactly what they should have been the whole time instead of whatever unfunny comedy they’ve been doing over the last few weeks. Nothing to see here for the most part but they’re going with a simple story instead of something that was embarrassing everyone involved.
Roman Reigns is ready to fight and wants to be at Clash of Champions.
Jinder Mahal vs. Jack Swagger
Mahal is now The Man That Comes In Peace and talks about spending time in monasteries to get rid of his hatred. They slug it out to start with Mahal actually getting the better of it until they head outside with Swagger fighting back. Back in and a running knee to the face gets two on Jack. Swagger runs the ropes a few times before just stopping and elbowing Mahal in the face. The Vader Bomb misses and a running neckbreaker ends Swagger at 3:20.
Rating: D-. I’m trying to figure out if this was a bigger waste of time than last week’s Anderson and Gallows segment. The definition of “we hired him because he’s a warm body” just beat the least intimidating former World Champion this side of Vince Russo and WWE actually thinks we’re going to be interested in seeing where this goes. The cruiserweights can’t get here fast enough.
Connor’s Cure video.
Tom Phillips asks Swagger about his soon to expire contract but Jack walks away.
Enzo Amore vs. Epico
Enzo offers to plant some flowers in Epico’s, ahem, soil, after he knocks Epico out. We hear more about the Puerto Rico resort, which Graves has been able to visit. Sure the hotel is under construction and his room only had three walls but the beaches were nice. Epico rolls some suplexes and gets two off a delayed vertical. Enzo comes back and goes to the top, only to spend too much time dancing. Cass kicks Primo in the face but gets taken down by a suicide dive. That allows Enzo to come off the top with a dive but a suplex over the apron sets up the Bobby Heenan finish with Primo holding the foot so Epico can get the pin at 3:20.
Rating: D. This show always suffers from a really bad stretch in the third hour and this is no exception. We’ve had back to back bad matches featuring stories of people who don’t belong on this show being pushed for the simple reason of the show is three hours long and they don’t have enough talent to fill everything in. A lot of these people need to be repackaged or replaced because this stuff isn’t going to save them against football.
Rollins cuts Owens off in the back and says he hopes this stays a one on one match because he’d love nothing more than to beat up HHH’s little golden boy. Owens thinks that’s funny because Seth probably wants someone to do the work so he can steal the pin. Seth has always had a bunch of people doing his work for him, including HHH. All Seth has done is fail since he came back (Always remember: winning the title doesn’t matter. DEFENDING THE TITLE MATTERS!) while Owens won the title in his first chance.
Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. Owens takes it outside to start so Reigns hits him in the face a few times. A slingshot kick to the jaw makes things worse for the champ but he takes Reigns down and slaps on a chinlock. Reigns fights up and gets booed some more, only to have Owens bail outside to avoid the Superman Punch. The Punch off the apron is blocked with a superkick and Owens sends him into the post as we go to a break.
Back with Owens holding another chinlock as this show somehow loses even more energy. Reigns finally fights out of it and they head outside again, only to have Rollins come out to attack Owens for the DQ at 13:14. Foley sends out the referees to get rid of Rollins but THE MATCH MUST CONTINUE! Back in and they slug it out with Reigns taking over off a Samoan drop. A bite under the arm (that’s a new one) breaks up a superplex and the spinning superplex gets two for the champ.
The Cannonball misses as this match just keeps going. Roman gets two off the Superman Punch but stops to send Owens into the post. The champ comes back with a pair of Cannonballs but Reigns jumps over the Pop Up Powerbomb. Cue Rusev for a distraction though (it’s about time) and the Pop Up Powerbomb ends Reigns at 23:21 (including the time between the DQ and the restart).
Rating: B. The ending was the exactly right call and it made me feel a lot better after not enjoying the match nearly as much as I should have. This was a good back and forth brawl but they were out there too long at the end of an already long show. Rusev vs. Reigns and Owens vs. Rollins are the right calls though and that makes a lot of things better.
Rusev beats Roman up to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. The main event did this show a lot of favors as it rolled over and died at the start of the third hour. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to have Jinder Mahal and the Shining Stars in back to back segments but the show lost everything it had built up in the previous two hours. This wasn’t the worst show in the world but it’s the Raw Special: it would have been a good two hour show but the extra hour ruined whatever it could have been.
Results
Sasha Banks b. Bayley and Dana Brooke – Rollup to Bayley
Bo Dallas b. Brandon Scott – Roll of the Dice
Cesaro b. Sheamus – Rollup with foot on the ropes
Nia Jax vs. Alicia Fox went to a no content when Jax speared Fox through the barricade
Anderson and Gallows b. New Day – Magic Killer to Woods
Jinder Mahal b. Jack Swagger – Running neckbreaker
Epico b. Enzo Amore – Pin with Primo holding Amore’s foot
Kevin Owens b. Roman Reigns – Pop Up Powerbomb
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