Monday Night Raw – February 10, 2003: Sacre Bleu What A Waste Of My Time

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 10, 2003
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on No Way Out, meaning Eric Bischoff is still looking for Steve Austin and we’re still being subjected to Steiner vs. HHH. Evolution is officially around now, meaning the dark days of Raw are now upon us. There’s very little good going on at the moment, meaning this is going to be in for a long episode. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Curt Hennig who died earlier in the day. It’s a shame he had so many substance abuse issues.

We recap Vince’s ultimatum to Eric, giving him 30 days to turn Raw around or Shane McMahon will take his job. Eric’s solution: bring back Steve Austin. He went to Texas to find Austin last week but just found some very strong stereotypes.

Theme song.

Apparently the thirty days are up tonight. How a thirty day countdown can start on a Monday and end another Monday isn’t exactly explained but here’s Eric to open the show. He isn’t sure if Austin will be back at No Way Out or not but Vince might be on the way here to fire him right now. Eric is glad to be back in Hollywood among his own people instead of being stuck in that horrible Texas town from last week. He asks the fans one favor: please let Vince know that they support Eric’s efforts. This turns into a demand but the fans still aren’t pleased.

Eric reminds us that he’s still the boss around here until Vince arrives, so let’s talk to JR a bit. Bischoff demands JR get up and take off his headset so Eric can yell at him over his lack of support for re-signing Austin. It’s all JR’s fault, but JR says maybe it’s because Austin hates Eric’s guts for how he fired Austin from WCW. Eric likes this firing idea and fires JR until Austin signs again.

Evolution arrives.

Christian vs. Test

Christian is Jericho’s buddy so this is a result of Jericho blasting Stacy with a chair a few weeks ago. Test throws Christian around to start and chokes with the boot, only to have Christian rakes the eyes to take over. A boot to the head gets two as Coach comes in to replace JR on commentary. Test comes back with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. The first attempt at a big boot misses but Test counters the Unprettier and kicks Christian’s head off for the pin. Nothing match here.

Post match Christian gets in a cheap shot while Test is talking to Stacy. Christian goes after Stacy but Jeff Hardy of all people makes the save, despite teasing a heel turn for awhile now.

JR is on the phone with someone and trying to get hold of Austin.

We look back and Booker and Goldust splitting after losing their tag title shot last week. This continues to make no sense given how hot they were as a team, but nothing made sense on Raw in 2003. Goldust also got electrocuted by Evolution after the loss, turning him into an epileptic.

Booker T vs. D’Lo Brown

Booker dedicates this one to Goldie but Brown’s music cuts him off. Before the match, Teddy Long suggests replacing Goldust with Brown so that the white man can’t keep the man down anymore. Booker pops Brown in the face and pounds away in the corner but can’t hit the ax kick. Brown leg lariats Booker down but the ax kick connects a second later for the pin. Total squash.

Jericho barges into Bischoff’s office and tries to get out of his match with Test. The match isn’t canceled but Jericho gets a match with Jeff Hardy as a bonus.

Jazz vs. Molly Holly

This is Jazz’s first official match back after being out for about nine months. Jazz easily takes her down to start before cranking on the arm. Molly comes back with a quick Japanese armdrag, only to be elbowed in the jaw for two. Jazz hooks a SICK looking submission hold which can best be described as a half Indian deathlock and half reverse Cattle Mutilation.

She has to let it go pretty quickly to prevent from killing Molly but gets two off a butterfly suplex. Molly tries some chops as the idiot fans are calling this boring. That submission hold alone keeps this from being called boring. Jazz’s half crab into an STF gets the submission.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing great but Jazz looked awesome out there. Yeah I actually said that. We never really got a good submission master in the Divas division so this was a nice change of pace. Unfortunately Jazz had the personality of a slug so she never went anywhere.

Jazz beats up Molly again post match with the double chickenwing and another STF.

JR gets a call from Steve. From Oklahoma. Isn’t it amazing how lucky it was to have the cameras there to pick this up RIGHT AFTER A MATCH? I know this is normal for wrestling, but have this kind of stuff pop up in the middle of a match to make it seem realistic for a change.

Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. 3 Minute Warning

Jamal (Umaga) slams Rob down to start but Rob takes out the legs and gets two off the standing moonsault. Rob goes up top but gets shoved face first into the barricade, allowing Rico to get in a cheap shot on the floor. Back in and it’s off to Rosey for a splash for two. The match keeps going slowly as Jamal comes back in, only to have Rob backflip out of a belly to back suplex.

A clothesline puts Van Dam back down for two but he ducks another clothesline which takes Rosey down by mistake. Kane gets the hot tag to clean house with all of his usual stuff. Rosey breaks up a chokeslam attempt on Jamal so Kane kicks both of them in the face. Rob comes in as well for his usual stuff and Rolling Thunder gets two on Jamal. Everything breaks down and it’s a chokeslam and Five Star to Jamal for the pin.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches where you can only say it existed. There’s just nothing else going on in this match and it showed badly. I have no idea who thought splitting up the tag titles in 2002 was a good idea but it was clear by this point that there was no way to support them. Hence why they went on for about five more years of course.

Vince arrives and wants to know why JR is in the parking garage.

Here’s Vince in the arena after a break. Vince says he has to make a lot of hard decisions but tonight isn’t one of them. He calls out Bischoff and Chief Morely for the firing, despite it being 22 days since he issued the thirty day warning. Morely isn’t going to be fired immediately, but he has to beat all three Dudleys in a match to keep his job.

That leaves Eric alone with Vince. Bischoff says he hasn’t signed Austin for No Way Out and that’s enough for Vince. Before he can fire Bischoff though, Eric brings out some special lesbians. They’re bisexual lesbians and I suddenly have a throbbing headache. Vince says tonight is about business and fires Bischoff anyway. We even get the goodbye song from the boss and a McMahon strut.

Regal and Storm suck up to Vince in hopes of getting the GM spot. Vince promises to name a new GM tonight.

Chief Morely vs. Dudley Boys

Morely gets a jobber entrance and is in street clothes. Remember that this is a three on one match with Spike teaming with the more famous Dudleys. Spike jumps Morely to start and the beatdown is on quickly. Morely has his shirt ripped open as the fans want tables. Apparently the Dudleys don’t have to tag here. A triple stomping sends Morely to the floor and Bubba throws Spike on top of him for good measure. Morely is sent into the steps a few times including once with Bubba holding them in the air. The Dudley Dog and 3D end this destruction.

Rating: D-. The fans liked it at least but there wasn’t anything else to that. This has been a very story heavy version of Raw and that’s not good in large doses. It helps to have Morely gone due to how annoying he could get, but that still doesn’t really make the show all that entertaining. Nothing to see here, again.

The Dudleys put Morely through a table because they can.

Eric asks JR if he’s heard from Austin but JR says he hasn’t. JR isn’t interested in being friends either.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Batista

Spear, Batista Bomb, pin.

Evolution comes in for the beatdown but Booker comes in for the save. He gets beaten down as well but Scott Steiner makes the real save.

Jeff Hardy and Shawn have a moment in the back after Shawn kicked his head off last week.

Stacy has a new marketing idea for Test: GGW. Yes it’s Girls Gone Wild.

Bischoff is cleaning out his office when the Dudleys come in to sing the Goodbye Song again. He’s staying isn’t he?

Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

This HAS to get some time right? Jericho takes him down with a headlock to start but Jeff fights up with some right hands to the head. A headscissors gets two on Chris but Jericho throws him out to the floor. Jericho does the Hogan hand to the ear but misses a springboard dive, allowing Jeff to score with a not great looking Asai Moonsault. A whip into the steps gets two for Hardy and he dropkicks Jericho out of the air to keep control.

Hardy loads up the Swanton but Jericho sends the referee into the ropes to crotch Jeff. This match isn’t flowing well at all but it’s not terrible. Jericho goes up top for a butterfly superplex but Jeff is up at two again. Hardy gets his back bent over Jericho’s knee but he rolls up Jericho to block the Walls for two. A clothesline puts Hardy down again though and Jericho chokes on the ropes. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Hardy avoids a charge to send Chris’ shoulder into the post.

The Twist of Fate gets two but the crowd is just gone. Back up again and Jericho pounds away in the corner but gets caught by the Whisper in the Wind for two. Jericho takes out the legs and puts on the Walls but Hardy quickly makes the rope. Chris goes up top, only to have Jeff run the ropes ala Kurt Angle into a belly to belly suplex. The Swanton gets two due to a foot on the ropes but Hardy’s hurricanrana is countered into the Walls for the submission.

Rating: C. The match was ok but there was no spirit to it. It’s like they were just going through moves instead of having a match if that makes sense. The match wasn’t bad or anything, but Hardy looked like he was just out there to fill in a spot on the card instead of doing anything great.

Vince tells Evolution he’s about to name the new GM. He also makes HHH/Batista vs. Booker T/Scott Steiner for next week. Anyone ever notice we almost never get a match advertised for the next week’s show anymore?

Here’s Vince for the announcement. Lawler: “Pick me!” Instead Vince brings out JR….but he’s not the GM. Bischoff follows him out as JR is guaranteeing Vince that Austin will be here. Since Austin is coming back, JR can come back too, meaning he’s rehired. Bischoff and Morely get to keep their jobs too, making tonight ENTIRELY POINTLESS. Oh wait Vince says Eric has to join his special club so there go the pant. He makes it do tricks but Bischoff refuses. Therefore, Vince makes Bischoff vs. Austin for No Way Out to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This might have been the least important show I can remember in my entire career of reviewing these things. We spent the entire night building up an angle, only to have the whole thing be rendered pointless at the end. On top of that, the matches SUCKED and nothing of note happened as a result of any of them. Horrible show with no redeeming value at all.

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Monday Nitro – June 15, 1998: The Roddy Piper Show

Monday Nitro #141
Date: June 15, 1998
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Laryr Zbyszko

We’re past the Great American Bash and the main development is Sting holds both tag team titles. Seriously, other than that not a ton has changed. Hogan, Hart, Piper and Savage had their match which changed absolutely nothing and Booker is the TV Champion again. There’s not much else to say about the show, which is a good indication of how important that show was. We’re now four weeks away from Bash at the Beach so let’s get to it.

Public Enemy vs. Hugh Morrus/Barbarian

This opens the show as Public Enemy is on their way to the ring as Tony welcomes us to the show. It’s a street fight meaning the weapons are flying as soon as the Public Enemy hits the ring. As usual it’s pure insanity with everyone hitting everyone else in the head and Grunge being sent head first into a garbage can. Even Jimmy Hart gets in a cheap shot with a sheet of medal.

Hugh backdrops Rocco into a powerbomb from Barbarian and a bunch of garbage can shots keep Rocco down. Grunge comes back in with some trashcan lid shots to Barbarian as Morrus loads up a table on the floor. A frying pan to the crotch slows Morrus down but he’s good enough to bulldog Rocco. Jimmy tries some more shots to Rocco’s head, earning him a suplex into the ring. Rocco is eventually suplexed over the top and through the table, but he lands on Barbarian for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can’t stand these matches. I get the idea of appealing to the ECW fanbase but couldn’t they come up with something more interesting than just hitting each other in the head with metal? These matches don’t add anything at all and when it takes a few seconds to determine who won, there’s probably a problem.

We get the opening pyro display and the announcers’ usual recap of the recent events around these parts.

Earlier today Mike interviewed some fans to find out if they were ready for Nitro.

We recap the Wolfpack recruiting Page from last week.

Opening sequence.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s how to get a Nitro Party!

Here’s Savage for an interview. He has a message for Piper and that is….that he wants DDP in the Wolfpack. Savage talks about Wyatt Earp wanting to help the Wolfpack and goes into a sales pitch to Page for a spot on the team. He wants Page in a cage match tonight and if Page can beat him, Page can join the team with Savage’s full endorsement.

We get some stills of the tag match last night.

Chris Benoit vs. Fit Finlay

Tenay suggests that this is a #1 contenders match for the TV Title but I don’t think that’s official. Benoit takes him into the corner to start and this is going to be a physical one. The fans are all over Finlay from the bell and he seems a bit shaken by it. Finlay takes him down with a headlock and cranks on the arm a bit before just kicking Benoit in the face. We hit the chinlock on the Canadian before Benoit fights up and hits a backbreaker to send Finlay to the floor.

Finlay sends him back first into the apron before taking him inside for a reverse chinlock. Benoit stands up and drops Finlay down onto his back for two. We come back from a break with Finlay dropping a knee on Benoit’s face for two. Chris fights up again with some hard boots to the ribs but gets dropped throat first across the top rope. Finlay misses a charge into the post and Benoit hits the Rolling Germans to put both guys down.

Benoit is up first but the Swan Dive only hits mat and Finlay drops another knee to the head. These shots are making me cringe more and more every time. The rolling senton puts Benoit down again but Benoit goes into beast mode, countering the tombstone into the Crossface for the win.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but everything after the break was awesome. These two beat the crap out of each other, but the shots to the head are hard to sit through. It’s good to see Benoit get a win after losing the series though, so maybe there’s hope for him yet. Solid match here for the most part though.

Post match Gene comes into the ring to interview Benoit about the series with Booker. Benoit invites Booker out here to see him face to face for some business. Here’s Harlem Heat and Benoit stares Booker down, only to shake and raise his hand. Booker calls Benoit the best man he’s ever been in the ring with and Benoit says to say the word if Booker ever needs a good man in his corner.

This isn’t cool with Stevie who calls Benoit a pipsqueak. Benoit repeats what he said and Booker offers another handshake but Stevie blasts Benoit in the face. Cue Mongo (dang it) to pull Stevie off but Booker breaks it up. Harlem Heat leaves and Benoit says he’s here for one thing, and he holds up the four fingers.

Post breaks here’s DDP to answer Savage’s challenge. Well in theory at least as Page would rather talk about Hogan and Rodman. They’re both somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you’re really thirsty (direct quote from the movie Con Air). Apparently there’s a tag match at Bash at the Beach with Page having a partner to be named. Oh and Savage is on for the cage match tonight.

We get a clip of Hogan and Rodman attacking Page with chairs last week. Apparently there are rumors that NBA superstar Karl Malone might don the tights and join WCW. I’m guessing that was the major announcement that wasn’t made on Thunder.

Nitro Girls.

Gene is in the ring again and it’s time for Piper’s weekly rambling. Piper: “GOD BLESS FRANK SINATRA!” Sinatra died a month before this, so I’m assuming it was a tribute, but that’s a bit late isn’t it? Anyway, Piper talks about remembering the Statue of Liberty wearing a kilt (I rescind my thought on it being a tribute and vote for Piper is nuts) and says he’s tough enough to make Rush Limbaugh lose weight and put Howard Stern on the Disney Channel. The smark crowd stops him with a loud RODDY chant but Piper confirms the cage match for tonight, but with him as the referee for no apparent reason.

Hiroshi Tenzan/Masahiro Chono vs. High Voltage

The Japanese guys are IWGP Tag Team Champions and are in the Black and White. Robbie Rage gets jumped to start but Kaos comes in off the top with a clothesline to take down Chono. High Voltage clears the ring and we take a break. Yes, this match is getting a break. Back with Rage stomping on Tenzan and putting on a reverse chinlock. Tenzan fights up as the announcers talk about Goldberg being with his sick mom tonight.

Chono comes in off the tag and everything breaks down for a few moments. Things settle back down with Kaos blocking a Chono suplex until High Voltage comes in for a double team. Kaos’ top rope clothesline hits Rage by mistake, allowing Tenzan to drop a top rope headbutt for two. Not that it matters as the Mafia Kick ends Kaos seconds later.

Rating: F. I can’t stand these matches as we’re just supposed to instantly care about people we haven’t seen in months because they’re wearing NWO shirts. Yeah Chono and Tenzan are awesome, but we need more than a few matches a year for the fans to realize that. On top of that the match was horrible with everyone looking sloppy and the match being a big mess. Given what I’ve seen from both teams, I blame this pretty much entirely on High Voltage.

Still shots of Giant vs. Sting last night.

Here’s the Wolfpack to a BIG reaction. Nash talks about how life is full of ironies, such as the last man to join the Wolfpack is the first one to bring home some gold. He brings out Sting for his pick of the partners but Sting wants to suck up to the crowd first. Sting talks about how everyone in the group has credentials, ranging from Konnan coming from a bunch of tough barrios, Luger holding every title there is to hold and Nash being a living, breathing monster. Savage isn’t listed as a possibility for some reason. However, he’s going to wait until the tag title defense tonight to make his announcement.

Kanyon vs. Sick Boy

Kanyon charges to the ring and the brawl is quickly on. Sick Boy is stomped into the corner and punched a lot before Kanyon pulls him down with a neckbreaker for two. Kanyon heads to the floor where a Lodi (in a safari hat because he’s odd like that) distraction lets Sick Boy take over. Back in and Sick Boy goes up but hops down, allowing Kanyon to hit a great looking forward electric chair for two. A faceplant out of the corner puts Sick Boy down again before the Flatliner gets the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but Kanyon continues to look awesome. His offense was so different from anyone else and he had a solid look, but for some reason he never reached that higher level. The feud with the Flock is working though and I’m curious to see where it goes.

Here are Rude and Hennig with Curt now in the Black and White like he should have been all along. Rude talks about how everyone has been asking why they turned on the Wolfpack and it’s the stereotypical answer: money. If it had been Hennig in there with Goldberg, the streak would be over. That’s going to be the case one day because Hennig has won over 3,000 matches. Hennig brags about swerving Konnan and promises no swerves with the Black and White, even though he’s now swerved DDP, Flair and Konnan. He’d never swerve Rude though.

JJ Dillon is here to address the Cruiserweight Title issues from last night. The referee was right to call the match last night so here’s Jericho, already in celebration mode. He sings about being the champion and says there’s dancing in the streets. JJ says Jericho is the champion, but he has to defend against Malenko within 30 days. Jericho rips into Dean’s dad again, but thankfully Dean was about two feet from Jericho to jump him immediately. Malenko beats him into the back and throws Jericho into anything he can find, ranging from what look to be portable bleachers to a cardboard box. Security finally breaks it up.

Chris Adams vs. The Giant

Giant is smoking again. This actually lasts longer than I expected, going a full 20 seconds before the chokeslam ends Adams.

We look at Hogan and Rodman attacking Page again last week.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff for their weekly (or hourly depending on the show) chat. Hogan says that God created Hollywood on the seventh day. Back in the day when he was selling out MSG, the slimy one (Nash?) was wishing he could be like Hogan one day. As for Page, if he wants a piece of himself and Rodman, come get some, even if it means bringing in Karl Malone. Hogan and Rodman have already signed for Bash at the Beach, so make sure to check the show out to see who Page and his partner take a beating. This was short and actually accomplished something. I’m as shocked as you are.

More Nitro Girls and the Nitro Party video.

Hour #3 begins.

Here’s Sting for his decision. He wastes no time and picks Nash. Tony calls this a curveball, even though it was one of four possible options. Nash does a survey of which NWO the fans are here to see, which sums up this company in a nutshell. Lastly, he says Hennig is the Pack’s newest prey.

Tag Titles: Sting/Kevin Nash vs. Harlem Heat

Tony gets the continuity wrong before the bell, saying Sting has been a tag champion for a long time, even though it was clearly stated the titles were vacant coming into last night. Booker and Sting get us going in the best possible pairing for this match. Things start fast with Sting jumping over Booker before taking him down with a hiptoss. Booker bails to the floor for a meeting with Stevie before coming back in with the jumping forearm.

Stevie yells at Booker so T brings him in to try his own luck. Ray stomps Sting down but he comes back with some of those odd shots to the face of his own, allowing for the tag off to Nash. Kev comes in but walks into a slam, only to have Stevie miss an elbow drop. We take a break and come back with Booker missing a dropkick on Sting. Back to Nash for knees in the corner and the big boot to the jaw before the side slam gets two.

Off to Sting again who stomps a mudhole on Booker before actually hitting his jumping elbow drop. A Vader Bomb of all things gets two but a regular splash hits Booker’s knees. Ash comes in before Booker can make the tag though, meaning the match slows down again. Nash powers Booker down but tags back out to Sting before he breaks a sweat. You have to protect that hair at all costs you see.

The Wolfpack keeps up the fast tags with Nash coming back in but Booker escapes Snake Eyes and gets two off a rollup. Booker avoids the Stinger Splash and finally makes the tag off to Stevie. Sting walks into a powerslam but Stevie talks trash, only to get caught in the Death Drop for the pin about 10 seconds after he was tagged in.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible match here and at least Stevie did the job instead of Booker. The match was pretty dull though with Nash seeming to be as bored as you could imagine him to be and Sting just going through the motions as well. Harlem Heat was done as a top tag team but they were still good enough for a spot like this.

The announcers talk about the cage match.

Remember that video of Scott Steiner on a movie set with Hogan where they met Carl Weathers? Well here it is again.

The cage is already set up but first we get Bischoff talking to Scott Steiner in a sitdown interview. Scott says it’s nice to be in New York but it’s nothing compared to Los Angeles. He name drops a bunch of actors who congratulated him for the snow job he put on his brother. Just establishing the new character for Steiner, which I can’t imagine lasts long.

Nitro Girls.

Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page

There’s a top on the cage and Piper is the referee. Page climbs on top of the cage to pose before getting inside. We get the bell and Page goes after Savage’s bad arm, only to have Randy hit him in the bad ribs. Page goes up top but gets crotched down, only to pop up and go after Savage’s own injured ribs. A ram into the cage gets two so Savage sends him into the steel for the same. They ram each other into the buckle before Savage goes head first into the cage.

Back up and they hit heads to put both guys on the mat again. We take a break and come back with Page pounding away and scoring with a clothesline, only to be taken down by a low blow. Savage goes up for the big elbow but hurts his knee on the way down, allowing Page to kick out. Savage and Piper get in a fight over the speed of the count with Savage laying him out via a piledriver. Page comes back with the Diamond Cutter to put all three guys down.

The fans (or the PA system) wants Goldberg as all three guys get back up. Page punches Piper for trying to pull him off Savage, so Piper sends Page into the cage three times in a row. Now Piper beats up Savage, because Heaven forbid a match doesn’t focus on Piper at least once. Piper rams both of them into the cage….and the cage raises up. Cue the Black and White to fill the cage which lowers after they get in. The massive beatdown is on as the match is thrown out.

Rating: D+. This was more about Piper than either wrestler and that’s a big problem in WCW at the moment. Piper is playing WAY too big of a role and I have no idea why WCW thinks he’s the right man for this spot. The match itself was nothing special as both guys were banged up and basically going through the motions out there until Piper did his thing.

The NWO destroys Savage with Bischoff kicking a chair into his knee. The Wolfpack comes out to try for a save but they can’t find a way in. Nash runs (work with me here) to the back and finds the button to raise the cage and we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C-. While not great, this was SO much better than last week as they kept things moving. Rather than focusing on one story, the show focused on different stories at different times which made things a lot easier to sit through. Hogan only having one promo and a run-in at the end is a great example of this as he had something like nine appearances last week. The wrestling was passable and the stories were advanced as well, which is all you can ask for a lot of the time.

 

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On This Day: November 4, 1996 – Monday Nitro: Two Old Guys Argue A Lot

Monday Nitro #60
Date: November 4, 1996
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 7,568
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

We’re into November now and World War 3 is in three weeks. Well 20 days but you get the idea. Ok so it’s really 15 years ago plus a few months but we’ll be here all day if we get into that. Anyway after last week, there’s not much to go on so hopefully we really get things going tonight. Let’s get to it.

Sting is in the rafters. DiBiase, Vincent and Giant are in the crowd and looking up at him.

Tonight we start a tournament for the new WCW Women’s Title.

Eric isn’t here tonight, but rather in Portland trying to get Piper to sign a contract. Remember that. It becomes REAL important in a few weeks.

We get a clip from Havoc where Piper yells at Hogan. Tony says the fans have demanded it, including over the internet. Tonight a word is promised about the signing.

Marcus Bagwell vs. Brad Armstrong

Sting leaves before the match starts. Man even he hates Buff. Riggs it at ringside too. Random question but where have the Steiners been? Are they still out from the car wreck thing? Bagwell does the clap thing and to his credit, the crowd is doing it with him. Technical match for the most part as they’re on the mat a lot. One thing that’s unrelated to the match: there are fans in the front row leaning over people (nice guys) to try to see themselves on a screen. I guess there are monitors or something by the entrance. That helps a lot as far as the videos they play.

We take a break (in the opener? Between Bagwell and Armstrong?) and come back to Armstrong hitting some armdrags (with his strong arms I guess) to frustrate Bagwell. Bagwell hits him in the face and the brawl is on. The fans are getting into this too. A dropkick puts Bagwell down and he gets tossed to the floor. Bagwell does just the same, hitting a dropkick and a clothesline to put Armstrong on the floor. There’s a dive to the floor and Brad is in trouble.

The NWO is in the crowd. They seem to be in the same place we saw them earlier so presumably they’ve been there the entire time. Why we’re looking at them and should be surprised to see them eludes me but a lot of what WCW did eluded me. Ok now they’re leaving. A tornado DDT gets two for Armstrong. There’s a gutbuster for Bagwell and what looked to be a forearm to put Armstrong down. We get the same ending from Fall Brawl 95 with Johnny B. Badd vs. Pillman where they both hit cross bodies and Bagwell lands on top for the pin.

Rating: C+. Marcus Bagwell vs. Brad Armstrong got 15 minutes and a commercial on Nitro and IT WAS GOOD. I’m in an alternate universe here. Brad was almost always at least watchable but Bagwell was a tag team guy and the same wrestler he was five years earlier, so why in the world did this get so much time? I’m not sure but it worked pretty well.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ice Train

We’re reminded of the NWO watching Page last week. Page whispered something to Nick Patrick before this starts. The NWO (Outsiders) are in the crowd watching again. Train easily overpowers Page to start and knocks him to the floor. Page is starting to look a lot like he would during his main run. The Outsiders leave. Page guillotines him on the top and hits a top rope clothesline to take over.

Tony says Teddy has become a role model for young people all over the world. I can see the tag team matches being made on playgrounds all over the world. Sunset flip (and a bad one at that) gets two for Train. Larry says Piper vs. Hogan would be the biggest match of the 20th century. I never thought I’d say this, but Larry has been in bigger matches than that would be. Pancake puts Train down for two.

Swinging neckbreaker gets the same and a huge kickout, sending Page onto Patrick. A powerslam and two splashes get a slow two. Page gets knocked to the floor when the Outsiders come in and destroy Train with the title belts. Patrick is on the floor with Page. The champs leave and the Cutter ends this.

Rating: D+. This was more angle than match, which is something you can usually say about Teddy Long’s clients’ matches. It’s cool to see the Outsiders doing something to pull someone up and it certainly worked with Page. Was there a kayfabe reason why Patrick never went on medical leave? I never got that.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs

Dean vs. Psicosis is announced for the PPV. The bell never rings so technically this is just a big prematch exhibition. Riggs has a bad shoulder coming in. Tony: “Well he’s trying to win. That’s a good sign.” Well what else would he be there for? A pottery class? Syxx pops up in the crowd as Riggs hits the post shoulder first. Riggs doesn’t seem to mind as he turns on the jets and sends Dean to the floor. There’s a plancha and back in a top rope double axe gets two. Scotty goes up again but Dean falls against the ropes and Riggs crashes onto the apron. Bagwell throws him back in and Dean gets an easy pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it foreshadows the troubles that the Males would have. Ok so maybe foreshadows is too big of a word given that they would only last like 3 weeks but you get the idea. Dean looked good here as did Riggs, and that ending fall looked awesome and painful at the same time. Decent little match.

We get a clip from last week with Mongo helping steal a win for Benoit.

Hector Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Hector is Eddie’s older brother and possibly even more talented. He’s also a dead ringer for Eddie if you just glance at him. I’ve often gotten them confused until I took a good look. Flair has had his surgery and Anderson is out with a back injury. On Saturday, Benoit said Sullivan is no longer the man he used to be. Sullivan pops up and says he’ll hurt Benoit in Baltimore. He’s actually talking about a house show.

Hector speeds things up and hits almost a Vader Bomb from the top rope out to the floor onto a standing Benoit. Benoit’s shoulder is still taped up. Hector works on the arm and mixes up the attack on it, because Hector Guerrero is smarter than most wrestlers. He goes to take the tape off and we take a break. After an NWO t-shirt ad, we come back to Benoit hitting a knee to put Guerrero down.

He draped Hector over the top rope with a release suplex and Guerrero is in trouble. Benoit works over the ribs and hooks an awkward abdominal stretch. Hector is basically crouched down and Benoit is bending over. Benoit hammers him down as Tony hypes up how amazing the second hour is. There’s the explosion. Hector grabs a small package for two. Guerrero speeds things up and uses a rolling tumbleweed style cradle for two. Woman breaks it up which isn’t a DQ. Benoit grabs a rollup via the distraction and uses the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another long match which again works. Benoit could move better this week which is a nice perk. Hector wouldn’t be around that much I don’t think so this was really just to avenge Eddie I guess. Nothing that great but they were moving well out there and the psychology worked so big points for that.

We look at Giant and Jarrett from last week. The Horsemen and Jarrett are in the aisle and Jeff says he’s the lead horse right now. Was he ever officially inducted? Benoit protests and says business pertaining to the Horsemen will be dealt with by a Horseman. Jarrett talks about getting WCW together as Sting watches. He just kind of goes on and on while we look at Sting.

The announcers talk about Sting.

Lee Marshall is in Florida for next week’s Nitro.

WCW Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Reina Jubuki vs. Madusa

Jubuki is Akiri Hokuto under a mask. Reina takes over quickly to start and chokes Madusa down. Another female Japanese wrestler comes out and watches. Her name is Zero apparently. Sonny Onoo rants like a heel Japanese man would in pro wrestling. Madusa hits something like what we would call the Stratusphere but Jubuki hits a release suplex and missile dropkick for two. The American grabs a quick German to pin the Japanese for the win. Too short to rate but it was way better than most modern female matches.

Michael Wallstreet vs. Chris Jericho

Wallstreet takes it to the mat quickly but Jericho works on the arm and then grabs a headlock. He tries to speed things up and Wallstreet fires him through the ropes. Tony calls the attorney of Nick Patrick a Schyster. I have a feeling there was a wink in there somewhere. Wallstreet pounds away as the announcers debate what the name Lionheart means.

Off to a chinlock and after awhile we look at the crowd. I can’t say I blame them as things got really boring all of a sudden there. Jericho comes back to break up the boring chants which were coming quickly. Missile dropkick sends Wallstreet out to the floor. Jericho gets sent into the post but as they come back in he grabs a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all but they didn’t have much to go on. Jericho needed the ring time at this point and putting him in there with a veteran like Wallstreet was a good idea. This wasn’t all that bad but it’s nothing interesting at all. Basically just a way to make sure people remember who Jericho is.

Patrick and his attorney are here again and Jericho says there’s nothing wrong with the neck and that Patrick works for the NWO. Somehow this turns into an argument about Jericho’s dad playing in the NHL. Teddy comes out to yell at Patrick too. The attorney brings up Teddy being suspended while he was a referee like 8 years ago. Jericho cuts him off and says that’s the past, what Patrick is doing today.

We get a video from last week with Luger chasing after Sting to end the match with Booker.

Lex Luger vs. Booker T

Before the match we get an inset promo from Luger saying he’ll be waiting for Sting whenever he’s ready to talk. Luger grabs a delayed vertical suplex to start and seems to be more focused than he was last week. An elbow puts Booker on the floor and we take a break. Tony promises that if anything happens during the break, we’ll see it on replay. There’s no replay, so I guess we can assume that they just stayed in the same place during the break.

Powerslam gets two for Lex. Booker grabs a release Stun Gun to take over. Lex gets thrown to the floor where he takes a kick to the ribs from Sherri. Booker works on the back out on the floor. Back in the ring a hooking kick puts Luger down again. Side kick results in Booker crotching himself and Lex makes his comeback. He hits a powerslam and calls for the Rack but Booker grabs the rope. There’s a side kick to take Luger down and Colonel Parker is here to hug Sherri. An enziguri puts Lex down but Parker gets on the apron for some reason. Booker yells at him so Luger rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a chore to sit through. The problem basically was that I don’t think anyone thought Booker was going to get a decisive win here so it was just kind of waiting around until the end of the match. That’s a very boring kind of match to watch and I stopped this whenever I could to do ANYTHING else. It wasn’t bad but it was very uninteresting.

Sting is still watching.

Eric Bischoff calls in and says that things are going well with him and Piper, but there’s no match signed, due to attorneys and agents interfering. He won’t say what’s wrong but he’s going to talk to Piper in Toronto next week. This goes on for awhile. Remember this segment. It becomes very important later.

Remember last week where we saw part of the Hogan vs. Piper showdown from Halloween Havoc but it was clipped for time? Well here’s the FULL version! That eats up ten minutes.

Here’s the NWO to end the show. Hogan demands a spotlight so he feels like he’s in California. Here’s a clip from Santa With Muscles, as we’re actually playing the “my B-movie is better than YOUR B-movie” game between Piper and Hogan. Hogan, as Santa, beats up some goons/thieves in a mall. Back in the arena, Hogan talks about the Cable Ace Awards or something and threatens to come to the ceremony and steal Ted Turner’s award. Is there a point to this at all? Hogan says Piper is scared and hiding out with Savage somewhere. He poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well it was better than last week due to the matches and wrestling being a lot better, but at the same time, nothing happened here. That’s the problem with having a main event like the big battle royal as everyone of note is in there and there might be a few other matches on there, most of which are just midcard matches. Things pick up speed soon enough though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Eric Bischoff Gone From TNA

He’s going to be paid to sit at home until his contract runs out.  I can’t say I’m complaining as the last few years haven’t been the most interesting for TNA.  At the end of the day, they had one really good idea with the THEY ARE COMING storyline and since then it’s been downhill for me.  As usual, back to square one for TNA.




Bound For Glory Count-Up – 2011: Dig Those Old Dudes Fighting!

Bound For Glory 2011
Date: October 16, 2011
Location: Liacouras Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the major show of the year for TNA and I can’t say I’m as excited about it as I was for last year’s. It should be good though as we have two major main events. Now that’s part of the problem: one of them is Sting vs. Hogan. They couldn’t have a good match 14 years ago so what are you expecting from them here? Other than that the rest of the show looks pretty solid. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about exactly what you would expect: a highlight package with everything leading up to the double main event.

The dark match was the tag title match with Mexican America retaining. Well at least the title didn’t change hands on a dark match. To be fair it was streamed free on the website so anyone could see it.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

I’m not sure if I’d have gone with a rematch for Kendrick so soon after Aries too the title from him. They have the garage door style lifting wall for the guys to come through. The fans are way behind Aries here. The crowd looks good here. They fight over a wristlock to start as we get a good feel for the crowd here with the loud Austin Aries chant. Tazz talks about how this crowd isn’t like most and that’s an understatement.

Things speed up a bit as they hit the mat. Aries goes to the floor so Kendrick is like PORKCHOP and dives onto him in a huge spot. Back in Kendrick gets caught in an STO and Aries loads up the Pendulum Elbow which blows the roof off the place. Kendrick counters and hammers away but the fans are all over Brian since this is the ultimate smark town. This could become a problem tonight.

They try what looks to be a rollup but Kendrick falls to the floor. Aries hits a HUGE suicide dive to fire the crowd up even more if that’s possible. Back in Aries tries the brainbuster but Kendrick knees his way out of it. They go up on the ropes but Aries talks to the crowd too much and gets caught in a top rope Sliced Bread for two as Aries grabs the ropes. They head to the apron and Kendrick tries it out there again but gets dropped onto the apron and then the floor. That and the brainbuster in the ring gives Aries the clean pin at 10:27.

Rating: B-. Can’t complain much here band this was what I was expecting for the opener. You can’t ask for much more than a cruiserweight match to start things off, but I’m hoping the show stays hot throughout the rest of the match. The right idea is to have things like this for later on in the show when you need to fire the crowd back up, but in Philly I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Keep that in mind: all rules about crowds are thrown out the window tonight.

The Knockouts are with some kids in the back and Karen comes in and she’s not happy. Oh ok they’re Kurt’s kids. The kids leave and Karen freaks out as always. Karen is refereeing the Knockouts match tonight. That means Madison wins tonight. Traci has to stay in the ring unless Karen is in danger.

We recap RVD vs. Lynn which is over Jerry being jealous or something. It’s Full Metal Mayhem which means TLC with pins. Can’t argue with putting this match on in Philly.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Technical stuff to start but they’ve probably got a lot of time. There are only 8 minutes on this card and I can’t imagine that Hogan vs. Sting will break ten minutes. Rob takes over early and tries Rolling Thunder but Lynn pops up with a kick to the face. Tornado DDT is countered but the suplex is as well. The psychology here is solid and we hit a stalemate. They try a cross body over the top and that doesn’t work right, drawing half boos/half silence from the crowd.

We’re on the floor now and Van Dam tries a moonsault off the apron but misses and might have hurt his knee. Lynn brings in a ladder but Rob sends him in and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Jerry hits a baseball slide to send it into the face of Van Dam. Van Dam gets a spinning cross body onto Lynn onto the chair for two. The surfboard dropkick with the chair in the corner gets no cover. Rob does however get a ladder so the crowd is pleased.

The fans chant ECW and the ladder is splashed with Lynn under it for two. The fans never stay silent for long in this city. It’s something I wish you could hear in more cities too. Rob does a springboard moonsault over Lynn which appeared to be intentional. No idea what the point of that was other than to have Lynn hit him with the chair to take over. Lynn misses a senton backsplash onto the ladder and Van Dam takes over again.

Van Daminator misses so Lynn pelts the chair at him. Lynn gets a German for tow and Lynn is down more from it than Rob is. Lynn gets suplexed onto a ladder which is a lot more effective, so I guess American > Germany. Lionsault onto the ladder gets two for Rob. Rob tries one of his rolling moves but Jerry jumps off the middle rope and they collide at the same time. Lynn goes to the floor to get another ladder and I have the same question as Tazz: how many ladders do you need?

The second ladder is put up against the railing and Lynn tries a sunset bomb, resulting in Rob’s head slamming into the railing. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Lynn has a big bump under his eye. Van Daminator gets two. Rob sets up the Van Terminator with a ladder over Lynn’s face and it’s enough for the pin at 13:16. So Lynn can get up from a Van Daminator after two seconds but he can’t move after about 30 seconds of sitting in the corner?

Rating: B. Good match but it’s going to be overrated because it’s Lynn vs. Van Dam. This was more about the weapons and the violence than the whole psychology which was the standard of their old matches. The fans were of course into it because these guys used to be huge in ECW like 10 years ago. It was entertaining though and that’s the point of these matches.

They hug afterwards, meaning I guess it’s cool to cost Van Dam a title shot. I guess he doesn’t seem to mind or whatever.

We recap the triple threat which is all about getting the world title shot or something. It’s the first I’ve heard of that but they’re talking about it which is the right idea. Joe went crazy and hurt Crimson once Joe was mathematically eliminated from the BFG Series so Morgan went after him for being a bully. Hence the triple threat.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

New music for Crimson. I’m not digging it. Joe tries to get both guys to fight each other but they beat him up instead. Joe is wearing red and blue tights while the others are both in white. Morgan’s continue to be way too small for him. Crimson hits the floor against his wishes and Joe takes down Morgan with ease. Crimson tries to steal a pin off a Morgan side slam but just gets one.

The non-Samoans are sent to the floor so Joe tries a huge suicide elbow. Morgan steps to the side so Crimson takes all of it. As Crimson gets up and brawls with Joe, Morgan goes up and dives onto Crimson from the top. Not a good few seconds for the red one there. Back in Crimson suplexes Joe and Morgan tries to steal the pin. We’re into the triple threat formula here and that’s all fine and good.

The non-Samoans slug it out and Morgan takes him down, only for Joe to trip him up and pull him to the floor. Crimson’s leg injury is fine by the way, despite him having it on Impact. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster on Crimson but Morgan comes in to break it up. I’ve never gotten that. Why wouldn’t he let Joe take Crimson out? Anyway Crimson sends Morgan to the floor and Crimson hits the spear on Joe for the pin at 7:15.

Rating: C. Not much here and this was something you could have seen on any Impact. To be fair though, there was no real heat on this match as it was all about pride or whatever. I mean, we have to have the TV Champion fighting Scott Baio in his underwear so we can’t have the TV out there. It’s TNA though so titles mean less and less all the time other than the world title. This was probably going to be the weakest match on the card and it was certainly watchable.

Ray says he needs no introduction and talks about himself anyway. He buries Philadelphia, talking about how he’s never liked it here and he’s used the idiot fans for years to get where he is. This was really needed because Ray would have been the crowd favorite otherwise.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson charges the ring and we start fast. Remember that this is a falls count anywhere match. Anderson tries to control early but Ray kicks his head off and puts Anderson down. Is there a reason why Anderson wears his shirt in his matches anymore? Ray chops him haRD in the corner (not good enough for all caps but decent) as Anderson’s hair is uh….weird. Anderson goes to the floor and takes a sign which has to be loaded. Yep there’s a metal sign in there and Ray goes down in a heap. Dead end sign and it goes over Ray’s head again.

They fight on the floor and a fan throws a beer on Ray. Anderson gets two on the floor and they go up the ramp. Anderson is infinately more entertaining when you let him stop wrestling. Ray reverses a suplex on the stage for two. Ray grabs the mic and talks about New York but Anderson beats him down and says this is Philadelphia. They head into the back and Ray hits a piledriver onto the concrete for two. Anderson gets choked with a red chair.

Back into the arena and they’re near the Spanish announce area. That has to be a copyrighted brawling area. Anderson takes part of the railing away and slides it into the ring but Ray beats him down and sets up a table. There’s another set up on the floor as well. Ray gets backdropped onto the railing and it’s bent.

Anderson goes up and misses the swanton onto the railing, allowing Ray to hit the Bubba Bomb (why is it not the Bully Bomb?) for two. I thought that was the ending. Anderson gets in a trashcan shot and loads Ray up onto the table on the floor. He goes up and channels his inner Jeff Hardy. There’s the huge Swanton BUT THE TABLE DIDN’T BREAK! FREAKING OW MAN!!! A Mic Check onto the table finally ends this at 14:28.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that was fun to watch. It wasn’t technically good or anything but if you’re expecting it to be you’re totally missing the point. This was a fun weapons match, although I kind of question having two of them on the same show like they did with Lynn and Van Dam. Decent match here and rather entertaining.

Bischoff is talking to a referee and says it’s a big night. It’s implied that the referee is in Immortal’s pocket. Eric says Hogan has to win and Sting has to be taken out for good. It’s revealed that Jackson James, the referee, is the son of Bischoff. This is treated as a shock by the announcers.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Karen is referee and Winter is champion. The crowd is WAY into Velvet. Winter is in a coat of some kind and Angelina is in a pink corset. Karen looks good in her referee stuff and Madison gives her the tiara. They have to tag here and it’s Winter vs. Mickie to start. Winter controls early but Mickie snaps off the slick rana in the corner and a neckbreaker puts Winter on the floor.

Madison comes in sans tag and tries to slap Mickie or throw something in her face but it doesn’t work. They’re playing up the Karen factor a lot here as the fix is in or something like that. Mickie goes to the floor and Velvet comes in. I guess it’s lucha tag rules. Velvet hits a bulldog but Karen ties her shoes instead of counting. Velvet and Mickie have to fight but shake hands first.

Both get rollups but Karen won’t count for either of them. The fans are all over this in a hurry. They slug it out for a bit with no real purpose because Karen isn’t going to count. Winter and Madison pull them to the floor and that’s a tag in a way I guess. Madison is in there finally and make that all four are in now. The good girls take over and the fans aren’t going to stick with this much longer.

Mickie vs. Winter at the moment but Mickie won’t cover because there’s no point to it. She beats Winter down but argues with Karen, allowing Angelina to give Winter blood. It gets loaded up but Mickie ducks, sending the blood into Karen’s eyes. I typed that before it happened. There’s the jumping DDT and here’s Traci. Things totally break down and Velvet hits the double underhook X Factor to win the title at 8:45.

Rating: D+. They wanted Velvet winning to be a huge moment and it just wasn’t. There was so much going on here and most of it wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before so this wasn’t much to see. Winter’s second reign was about as worthless as her first but at least there’s the title reign for Velvet which has taken forever to get to. Not the big moment they were looking for though.

Kaz doesn’t know who to cheer for in the I Quit match but he hopes Daniels sees the light after it’s over.

We recap Daniels vs. Styles #4895 which is about Daniels being way too excited about beating him on a fluke and turning heel on him, setting up an I Quit match.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

It sounds like new music for both guys. AJ has another new remix. This is I Quit. There’s also no pyro for anyone tonight so far. The guys have the mic here and it’s a brawl to start. Daniels is asking if it’s over about 30 seconds in with a choke on AJ. AJ hooks a bridging Indian Deathlock and Daniels says no. We’re in that place in the match where they’re trying for fast submissions but no one believes it’s happening yet.

AJ hits his leapfrog/drop/dropkick spot and we head to the floor. AJ hits a flip dive and both guys are down. They find a tool box and Daniels tries to stab AJ with a screwdriver. The maiming attempt fails and they fight to the apron where they botch some kind of a suplex move. The screwdriver is stuck in the buckle. AJ has pink on his tights for breast cancer awareness month. Nothing wrong with that.

AJ still won’t quit so Daniels busts out the BME to AJ while he’s on his knees, making it more like Shadows Over Hell (Delirious move). Off to a half crab and of course AJ doesn’t quit. A spin kick is blocked and Daniels gets a backbreaker. There’s no eyeliner on Daniels either which is a weird look. He’s in tights instead of shorts too. It’s chair time and Chris sits down on it with the bar over AJ’s throat. Styles is bleeding over the top of the head, right around his hairline.

Daniels says everything AJ has in TNA will belong to him and he never wanted to hear AJ say I qu….”oh no I’m not saying it.” The fans chant for him to shut up and Daniels lets up for some reason. He looks into the camera and talks to Wendy (AJ’s wife) and says take the kids out of the room because they shouldn’t see their father murdered. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

AJ gets fired up and hits the backflip reverse DDT. Styles Clash fails and Daniels misses the BME. He shouts DIE AJ but runs into the Pele and the Clash. So….how does this make Daniels say he quits? AJ picks up the chair but grabs the screwdriver instead. And Daniels quits to avoid the pain ala JBL vs. Cena in 05. He quit at 13:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of these matches because the ending is either the heel giving up after being hurt for a few seconds or giving up before something big happening. I wasn’t into this and the fans weren’t really either. I think they were going for a big ending and emotional moment but it never got to the level they were hoping for.

As AJ is leaving, Daniels jumps him and plants him with Angel’s Wings on the ramp, meaning this is going to continue.

We recap the final two matches on the card but here’s Jeff Jarrett.

He yells about Jeff Hardy and says no one here wants anything to do with Hardy. The fans chant for Hardy as Jarrett buries the city. He calls out Hardy and here he is with new music. They brawl with Hardy only saying a few words and it’s a brawl. This isn’t a match. Security comes out to break it up but Hardy gets free for a bit as happens in most brawls. That happens with both guys more than once. The agents come in and we get a D’lo chant. Hardy is left in the ring and poses to his music.

We recap Hogan vs. Sting. I’m shocked this isn’t the main event. The recap covers like a year and a half which is all about Hogan stealing the company from Dixie and Sting trying to get the control back for Dixie because it’s her’s.

Now the announcers talk about the match and how big it is.

Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

This is a “fight” remember, so Hogan is in an Impact Wrestling shirt and black tights. Dixie Carter is in the audience. If Hogan loses, Sting and Dixie get control of the company. Sting is in his Hogan shirt again. Jackson James, Bischoff’s son, is the referee. Before anything of note happens, Hogan waves out someone and it’s Flair. Dixie isn’t happy. And they lock up. We get a headlock in this “fight”.

Hogan Hulks Up and there goes the bandana. Sting throws off the Hogan shirt too. The fans sound into it so points for that. Hogan puts on a neck crank and we look at Dixie again. It’s in a rest hold so no complaints there. Hogan keeps crotch chopping. All Hogan so far with him sending Sting to the floor so Flair can pound away a bit with chops and a low blow.

All Hulk still as he hammers away on Sting on the floor. There’s some kind of object given to Hogan by Flair and Hulk pounds away with it. Sting is busted and Hogan struts and WOOs. Sting fires back and Hogan is in trouble. He keeps going to the floor to chase Flair and this time gets the object from him. Flair tries to warn Hulk but he can’t get away in time. Hulk is busted.

There’s the splash and down goes Flair. Hogan takes another splash and Hogan is down in the middle of the ring. Here’s the Scorpion and Sting gets it on full. He sits down on it and Hogan taps out right in front of the referee…..and he rings the bell for the submission at 9:49. The fans are not happy….like at all.

Rating: D+. The ending hurt it a lot but the fans were WAY into this. Tis is a fine example of a match where the match wasn’t the important part. However, there was nothing important to see here and the ending didn’t work at all for the most part. Keeping it short was good but Eric’s son wound up meaning almost nothing at all.

Immortal runs out for the beatdown with the chairs and Abyss is watching from behind the stage. Eric sets for a chair shot but his son takes the chair away. Down goes the son and Hulk is getting up. For no apparent reason Hulk turns face and beats up Immortal. Hogan and Sting clean house and Flair takes the brunt of the beating. Bischoff is cowering in the corner.

Hogan and Sting go back to back and stare each other down. They don’t shake hands but Hogan beats up Bischoff. This makes absolutely NO SENSE but the fans are more into it than anything ever in TNA. Hogan says he’s back and kicks Bischoff out of the ring. Hogan and Sting stare it down again and Sting wants Hogan to pose. They play to the crowd and that’s about it.

We recap Roode vs. Angle and I think you know the drill here.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle

It’s 10:36 when the bell rings so they have about 20 minutes or so, barring them going right up to the hour. They head to the floor for a few seconds and Angle kicks him low on the way back in. Angle is coming in with a legit hamstring injury. They go to the mat and Angle works on a gutwrench. The fans are all behidn Roode. The American hits a German on the Canadian and make it three of them, getting a two count.

Kurt sets for the moonsault but Roode suplexes him off and Kurt lands on his head. The fans went SILENT after that. Kurt seems to be ok as they slug it out. Roode hits a forearm and some clotheslines to take over. Blockbuster hits for what looked to be three but they’ll call it two. Belly to belly gets two for the champ as does a DDT. Angle Slam is countered into the spinebuster (no pop at all for it) for two.

Angle does the run up the rope suplex for two. They’re really just using signature stuff here instead of a longer match. Roode grabs the Crossface out of nowhere and Kurt can’t reach a rope. Angle teases tapping but he grabs the ankle to escape the hold. Now Roode is in the submission and teases tapping but reverses right back into the Crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle reverses again and is put in the hold on the other arm this time. Kurt rolls through into the Slam for two.

Back to the ankle but Roode kicks him off and hits the spinebuster to still not much of a reaction. The crowd just does not care after the Hogan vs. Sting stuff. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. The dueling chants start up and Kurt hooks the ankle again. Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag as the fans are starting to get into this a bit. Angle gets the referee in between them and kicks Roode low. There’s another Slam and it only gets two again.

Time for more rolling Germans but Roode reverses into the Crossface again, this time on the left arm which is the one that I think it’s been on more often than the right one. Roode’s face is really bad when he’s got these holds on. Kurt’s arm is under the ropes so the hold is broken. Spear gets two for Angle. I’m so over the move I can’t stand it anymore. Angle goes up for something but jumps into the Crossface. Kurt escapes and tries the Slam but Roode tries the Fisherman’s into another Slam and Kurt grabs the rope….for the pin at 14:20. Oh….oh no they can’t be doing this. Roode’s arm was under the ropes too.

Rating: C. The ending cripples this. It wasn’t a classic before that but the ending hurt it more than I can comprehend. The match was so based on having finishers escaped and kicked out of and all that stuff which was the vast majority of the match. Not horrible but man, that ending is actually standing and it’s over. That CRIPPLED things.

Overall Rating: B+. The ending to this show brings it way down. I mean WAY down. There isn’t a truly bad match on the whole card but there isn’t a classic either. Still, it’s a very good show and worth checking out, but the ending to the main event hurt this like nothing else. There was zero point to having Angle go over there and he was helped out by the trainer post match so maybe he was legit hurt. I’m in awe over that ending. The rest of the show was solid though and Hogan’s illogical heel turn is fun stuff. Worth seeing, but prepared to roll your eyes at the main event.

Results
Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jerry Lynn – Van Terminator
Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Matt Morgan – Spear to Joe
Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check through a table
Velvet Sky b. Winter, Mickie James and Madison Rayne – Sitout facebuster to Rayne
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Daniels said he quit
Sting b. Hulk Hogan – Scorpion Deathlock
Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode – Angle Slam

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On This Day: October 14, 2010 – Impact Wrestling: Why THEY Did It

Impact
Date: October 14, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: THEY Have Arrived!!!

Well this is it. After four days of waiting we can finally get to the explanation from Jeff as to WHY he did what he did. This is something that is very important because you have the entire THEY angle riding on it. The importance of this show can’t be overblown as we begin the next chapter in TNA’s history.

The opening is likely to be about Jeff and THEY as well as set up the fairly obvious RVD vs. Jeff match, although I could see them postponing that one if need be. I’d also be interested in knowing how much actual wrestling we’ll have tonight but we’ll see. Let’s get to it.

We of course open with the recap of the ending of Bound For Glory.

Dixie’s attorney is here and as everyone thought we’re told that Dixie signed the contracts but they weren’t the ones she thought they were.

Hogan (still on crutches) and Bischoff are here to a MASSIVE pyro display. Of course Hogan is acting just like he did as a face. Tenay explains that Hogan and Bischoff now have the majority share of TNA….despite the fact that the attorney never said that.

Naturally Hogan gets a big face reaction with like two signs against him in the whole audience. Oh wait three fat chicks are booing. Well there’s a Hogan sucks chant so there’s something I suppose. Hogan wants Dixie here now. Apparently she promised him everything, much like Ted Turner did in 96. Hogan gets a text or something as he has his phone out and is messing with it.

Here we go: the explanation. It started with Abyss apparently and the Hall of Fame ring. Bischoff and Hogan knew why he randomly turned on Hogan. We bring him out and Hogan declares Abyss his son. THEY’RE HERE! Ok now that my pizzas are here we can get back. What did you think I meant by they?

None of the fans believed Abyss but they are now in control. The fans want RVD. Abyss follows them as Hogan and Bischoff’s soldier now. Hogan declares that Abyss with live forever and is now immortal. I think The Immortals might be the name. Eric brings out Jarrett. Wait was there an actual explanation in there for abyss? If there was I missed it.

Yeah this was no real surprise: he wanted control of his company back. I think that was the easiest of all to understand. And here’s FOURTUNE! Ok this just got good.

Flair talks to Hogan and says that Fourtune runs this company, not Hogan. LOUD Fourtune chant. One of them have to leave apparently. Hogan suggest him vs. Flair and it’s…..not on as they hug. Flair bows down to Hogan and it’s a massive Hogan orgy more or less. The explanation here makes sense though as Fourtune was mad at Dixie for bringing in EV. That actually makes sense. We get a reference to Flair’s five former ex wives and here comes Jeff!

No face paint here either. The fans think Jeff sold out. You can barely see the ropes with so many guys in there with him. He didn’t sell out but sold in. He blames the fans and doesn’t care about popularity. The fans drove him to this because he did everything with all those injuries for what?

And now it’s on to RVD. He’s the whole F’N reason Abyss took RVD out because RVD had to be gone for this to work. They are Immortal. Sting and Nash are watching in the back. Eric and Hogan offer them spots on the team. We go to a break 22 minutes into the show with them coming to the ring.

Security escorts Dixie….somewhere.

Nash and Sting come out and Sting is in street clothes which isn’t something you see that often. Tenay is already annoying. Eric says this is about money and all that jazz. Nash whispers to Sting and says this is perfect for him because it’s always been about money and him in his career. He’s gotten wiser though and quotes the Bible of all things, saying gray hair is a sign of wisdom. He’s passing on the money and if THEY want to run the company into the ground, they can do it without him. I’m surprised.

Sting says this isn’t what he came here for and says he’s here because he loves TNA. He’s shouting the whole time mind you. Sting points to Hogan, Bischoff and Flair (I think) and says this is a no win situation, turning them down. Allegedly both of these guys are leaving TNA with Nash being permanent and Sting possibly being permanent. Bischoff says they can come back anytime. Hogan’s music plays the segment to an end at 9:32.

We cut to the back where Sting and Nash leave but Pope isn’t happy with it. They offer him a place in the car out with them but he’s staying to fight the fight which they’re cool with. Dixie comes up to them and says they can’t leave her. Sting says what everyone thought: if she had listened this wouldn’t be happening. She says he was cryptic. Dixie, he sent crows down at the NWO to demand a title match one night. He’s a weird guy.

Hogan and Bischoff come up to Dixie and she slaps the heck out of Bischoff. She tells Hogan to look her in the eye and tell her he didn’t screw her. He says we’ll talk about this in HIS office as we go to another break.

In the office we have MORE talking. Bischoff smokes a cigar and Hogan flat out tells her that he screwed her out of the company. This is a big Hogan ego trip of course. Hogan and Bischoff both say this is their company. Hogan has had enough and so has Dixie. She tells her security guards to get rid of them but they work for Hogan too. Dixie’s husband SURGE gets knocked out and we take ANOTHER break.

Some hot chick in a BMW shows up. And we’re just not going to talk about this at all. Ok then. Ah ok it’s the Jersey Short chick.

Madison comes out with a referee as I’m guessing this is going to be about Tara. She yells about how Tara has HER title. She wants a match RIGHT NOW. Here’s Tara, looking GOOD. Madison says they had a deal and apparently we’re getting a match….at 9:50pm.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Madison Rayne

And Tara lays down so Madison can pin her. I kid you not.

Madison celebrates and here’s Mickie to talk some more. She wants a title shot RIGHT NOW but Madison sends Tara after her. Mickie sends her running and stares her down.

J-Woww from Jersey Shore comes in and talks to the Beautiful People. Apparently she’s an honorary BP tonight.

Back from break and they’re still looking for Cookie. This results in Eric Young freaking out about J-Woww. Jordan comes up and nothing of note happens.

And here’s Angle for MORE talking. No music, no intro, nothing like that. He talks about how he’s all banged up but wants to know why Hogan and Bischoff screwed him before he officially retires. Angle says what we all expected him to say: he didn’t win but he didn’t get pinned either. Cue Jarrett’s music and here he is.

Jarrett more or less calls bull on what Angle is saying. He takes a jab at Angle being an ex-husband (the real meaning being that Jarrett literally married Angle’s wife and not in kayfabe). Angle says he put TNA on the map. Uh, not quite Kurt. He says Jarrett held down everyone but couldn’t hold Angle down.

Kurt Angle, the man that held the tag titles, X-Division and World titles at the same time is talking about holding others down. Jarrett says taking Angle’s career meant more than destroying his life. Angle goes for him and the security guards take him down and handcuff him. The beatdown is on. Uh, Joe anyone?

TAZ of all people comes out of the broadcast booth and calls off Jarrett and says that he has a censored up (censored of course) neck. Old school Taz chant takes us to another break.

70 minutes in, 6 seconds of “wrestling.”

Joe talks (shocking isn’t it) about Jarrett on a tape from Monday, still in Daytona. He’s coming for Jarrett of course.

GOOD NIGHT IT’S A MATCH! And it’s Abyss. Oh joy.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Yeah they’re officially called Immortal. Well ok then. Joe beats the tar out of him first and beats him into the corner. Chokeslam takes him down and Joe is in trouble. He goes to get a chair but Joe hits a suicide dive into the chair which more or less didn’t hit Abyss’s head at all but he stays down anyway. Sure why not? Bell to the head and we’re done in two minutes. No rating. RVD comes down for the save.

Wait, why didn’t Joe come down and massacre Jeff like 5 minutes ago?

Hey look RVD wants to talk. It’s about Hardy which makes sense. Jeff pops up on the screen and says it was an illusion as he brought RVD as close to him as he could and then destroyed him. Well ok so he told Abyss to destroy him. Hardy says he’s the Anti-Christ of wrestling. WOW.

Bischoff comes out and says if RVD wants Hardy at Turning Point he has to beat Anderson tonight, winner gets the shot.

Back from a break Tessmacher is propositioned by Bischoff for “a meeting later at his place”. He snaps on her and calls her easy. Bischoff knows about Nash and Pope apparently. She’s fired from the Knockouts authority job and can either wrestle or leave. Anderson comes up and declares Bischoff a douchebag and squeezes his hand really hard saying that Bischoff won’t win this war.

D’Angeol Dinero vs. Fourtune

Yep it’s 1 vs. 5 here. Morgan and Flair aren’t in this. Total dominance here of course but it’s better than more talking I suppose. AJ misses the Pele and kicks Kaz which Pope gets two off of. DWI hits him and Kaz gets the pin. Another short match so no grade.

Ad for Turning Point where Angle is named specifically as being there. Nice one guys.

Here’s The Shore to get on my nerves and be booed out of the building. They point out that this is on at the same time as Jersey Shore because that’s how TNA works. Cue up the Beautiful People and J-Woww. Cookie and J-Woww argue as usual and Cookie says go back to the hole you came from. You know, the same one she’s from. Catfight, Shore bails. 15k for a minute long segment and an EY joke.

We recap things to kill time so we can run over into ReAction as always.

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

No mic time for Anderson here as he’s ticked. The bell rings at about 11pm as we just HAD to have a commercial as RVD made his entrance. Make that 11:01. Naturally to see the main event of Impact you have to watch ReAction. So would that mean the winner got the win on Impact or ReAction? Winner gets Hardy at the PPV mind you.

Basic stuff to start as Van Dam hits a moonsault off the apron to kick Anderson in the head, which might have been how he injured his head and Impact is OVER! And now REACTION has started and we didn’t miss a thing and it serves no purpose but screw that who cares? If you want to see the Impact main event, don’t watch Impact!

After I have a psychotic episode over the stupidity of some of the things this company does, it’s still a boring match. Rolling Thunder is countered into a fireman’s carry and the split legged moonsault gets two. Five Star eats knees and both guys are down. And here’s Bischoff to screw us over. He tells the referee to come with him and here’s Hardy, holding his ribs with a chair.

Chair to RVD. Chair to Anderson. Pillmanizer on the arm of Anderson. Anderson curses a lot and rolls to the floor. That’s your ending by the way.

Rating: D+. Match was pretty weak due to the crowd knowing the ridiculous ending was coming. This match never really got off the ground or anything but it could have been worse. The guys knew the ending was coming and clearly didn’t get going until the very end as they were just going through the motions. Nothing bad really, but nothing particularly good.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a VERY subjective grade to put it mildly. This show can be looked at their get out of jail free card. It was the first show after their biggest show ever and a huge angle. The show as a stand alone show was atrocious. However, this was a show where a lot of talking was actually required.

The explanations that they gave needed to be done. I can understand that and I’m mostly ok with it. However there comes a point where you need some wrestling to get you through a show. Having the show revolve around one angle is fine and makes sense, but you really need some wrestling to go with it. As was said in the LD, even a 4 minute throw away match would have helped tremendously. One or two of those thrown in somewhere and this show goes WAY up.

As for doing what needed to be done tonight, they got a lot out of the way. Jarrett, Dixie, Hogan and Bischoff are all explained. Nash and Sting are written off TV, Pope has a new thing to do, Anderson’s loyalty is pretty clear and RVD and Joe will fight on their own. Hardy was explained but to say it felt rushed is an understatement. Abyss wasn’t explained at all but did we really need to hear about him? All you really get from that is the beginning of the story and we can live without that.

This show did explain some things and kind of got things going for the angle, but at the same time this is showing signs of turning into one massive soap opera much like the NWO angle. The problem with that is back then you had some amazing matches on the side to compliment the drama. You’re not getting that in the first week.

That being said, it’s the first week and I can understand a ton of talking here. However if this is now the status quo, there are REAL problems for this company. This was kind of a disappointment but to say it was horrible isn’t fair. They got through a lot tonight, but what scares me are the weeks to come. There has to be some wrestling out there, and I’m not seeing it here so far. I’m neither thrilled nor optimistic, but I’m also not convinced this is bad. Definitely interested in next week’s offering, but I’ll be less lenient on it to say the least.

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Monday Nitro – May 18, 1998: The More Things Stay The Same, The More Things Change

Monday Nitro #137
Date: May 18, 1998
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the night after Slamboree and naturally we’ve got more NWO drama and not much else. The main story is that Sting and Giant won the tag titles due to Hall turning on Nash, apparently aligning himself with Hollywood Hogan and the Black and White, despite them keeping him off TV for months and Nash standing up for him. This would be the third (fifth if you include Konnan and Hennig) yet to be explained turn in less than a month if you’re keeping track. Let’s get to it.

This is a one hour show tonight due to the NBA Playoffs. On Thunder it was announced that we would get an hour before the basketball game and a second hour after, but the second hour was just a repeat of the first. I’m not sure if it was a last second change or WCW just making stuff up to get ratings, but at least it’s less nonsense for me this week.

We open with the stills from last night’s main event. I think that was Nash’s official face turn after being a face for at least a month now.

Here’s Eric in the ring wearing a red velvet crown and siting on a motorcycle. He says it’s good to be king and as he ponders his future in this sport, he has to look back at the past. His television record is 98-2 and now his in ring record is 2-0, having defeated Larry Zbyszko and Vince McMahon. He wanted to beat Vince in the ring, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. Now he has to look to the future which holds a record better than Bill Goldberg’s. He’s going to chase a dream which started last night. What that is isn’t specified but the music plays and he’s done.

Nitro Girls.

We get the video from Thunder with Saturn saying he hasn’t stolen the Cryonic Kick because it’s a basic side kick that has been used for thousands of years.

Saturn vs. Psychosis

Saturn pounds him into the corner to start but Psychosis slams him down for two. A dropkick knocks Saturn out of the air and a second one knocks him out to the floor. Psychosis hits a nice plancha to the floor but gets caught in a release dragon suplex back inside. The superkick and Death Valley Driver set up the Rings of Saturn for the quick submmission.

We get some stills from Bret vs. Savage last night, focusing on Hogan interfering, leading to Savage giving up to the Sharpshooter.

Here’s Piper with something to say. This isn’t likely to go well. He’s ticked off because of how much interference there was and he’d never do that job again. Apparently Liz was swearing a lot and it allowed someone Savage hit him in the back of the head (it was Hart). Piper wants Savage out here right now and here’s Macho himself. For once, Tony is logical here by saying Piper could watch the tape and see that it was Hart attacking him.

Piper says he isn’t a guy to apologize but if he was he’d apologize right now, but since he isn’t a guy to apologize he isn’t apologizing. He’s watched the tape and saw Hart hit him in the back of the head, so as Commissioner he’s naming Savage as the winner of the match via a disqualification. This is treated as the biggest news in the history of WCW but here’s Bret Hart to complain. He wants to fight but doesn’t want to do it two on one. Actually scratch that as he’s ready to go but Hogan and pals come out to stop him. The end result is a tag match at Great American Bash.

Buy the Randy Savage shirt!

Heenan replaces Zbyszko on commentary for the second half of the show.

The announcers talk about the Cruiserweight Title situation for a bit. We get a post match interview with Dean Malenko with Gene saying he can no longer call Malenko a loser. Dean says it’s water under the bridge because tonight was the beginning of his new quest. He isn’t done with Jericho because Jericho insulted his family. This title is for his dad. If Malenko has ever cut a better promo, I haven’t seen it.

Jericho freaked out after losing the belt last night.

Damian vs. Juventud Guerrera

There’s no opening bell but Juvy takes over with a quick spinwheel kick but charges into a boot in the corner for two. A dropkick sends Damian to the floor but he whips Juvy into the steps to take over. Damian dropkicks him from the apron but gets caught in a top rope hurricanrana back inside. Juvy gets crotched on top and Damian gets two off a kneeling Muscle Buster of all things. Juvy almost no sells it and gets two of his own off the Juvy Driver. The 450 totally misses but Juvy gets up and drops a quick elbow for the pin.

Rating: C-. Botched ending aside this was pretty fun. I prefer the elbow drop over pretending the splash worked because it was more or less two feet to Damian’s chest and certainly wouldn’t have kept him down. Also it’s nice that they’re mixing up the matches a bit with new names like Damian, even though he isn’t the biggest star in the world. It’s better than doing the same pairings over and over.

More Nitro Girls.

There seems to be some confusion as to what’s next. Tony says we’re going to Gene but here’s Goldberg for his match.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Glacier

Goldberg blocks a bunch of kicks to start and clotheslines Glacier down. Glacier misses an enziguri and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to make it 89-0.

Here’s DDP for his weekly interview. Gene lauds him for his win last night but Page doesn’t want to think about how he beat Raven. He did it for the fans who always jack him up, but now he has a new target. Page wants to be world champion and hopes he gets to take it off of Hogan because he hasn’t forgotten what Hogan has put him through for the last six months. Not much from DDP this week but it’s a new plot development.

Here’s the Black and White to close the show. Bret is with them but still in street clothes. Dusty is there too, despite ripping into Hogan last week on Nitro. Hogan talks about how great he is and laughs at the idea of anyone following Nash. Everyone is here tonight because of Hogan because he controls the money and the talent.

If there was any doubt to Hogan being great, here’s Scott Hall as the ultimate proof. Hall rubs his fingers together to symbolize money on the way to the ring, which is probably as good of an explanation as we’re going to get. Bischoff calls out Sting for his explanation. Giant comes up to Sting in the aisle and gets spat on, causing Giant to choke Sting down. Nash comes out with a pipe to scare

Overall Rating: C. This show continues to prove that three hours simply aren’t needed at all. This show covered almost every major story and gave us some watchable wrestling at the same time. The ending is all you would come to expect from WCW as we get about two minutes of storyline development which will lead to three hours of talking next week. Bischoff mentioning Goldberg is interesting though as it’s the first mention of him from the NWO. Page going after Hogan might be worth something too.

 

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On This Day: October 3, 2005 – Raw Homecoming: Tell The World We’re Coming Home

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 3, 2005
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 14,387
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

Another request and another three hour show. This is the return of Raw to the USA Network which warranted the debut of apparently the first ever three hour Raw spectacular. As for the card, it’s a two match show but they’re two big matches: Edge vs. Matt Hardy in a ladder match and Shawn vs. Kurt in an iron man match. This should be good so let’s get to it.

The copy has comes with the final five minutes of a special aired before this called Raw Comes Home. Yes, there were four hours of the WWE on this Monday. This part is just a highlight reel and Shawn talks about being at the first Raw. They talk about the Manhattan Center. Sean Mooney makes a cameo. They all knew Raw was special. Shawn is proud of being here the whole time. Vince says the Attitude Era is who they really are. And here’s forty seconds to say that the modern stuff is ok too.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Foley to get things going. The ring is set up for Piper’s Pit. Foley says he’s come back home. He introduces the host because the host is no ordinary man. Here’s Piper whose gut is rapidly growing. Piper says he thought he was crazy but he has nothing on Foley. Foley jumps off roofs for fun. But them Piper read Foley’s new book Scooter and he hasn’t slept with the light off in four days.

This is Piper’s Pit though and the fans want to know when Foley is coming back to the WWE. Isn’t he here already? Foley says he came back last year and got beaten up so to come back again he needs a good reason. Piper says the people are a good reason. Cue the Ortons and Foley cuts Randy off and says he should be worried about the legend that’s going to take Orton out this Sunday at No Mercy (Undertaker).

Orton says he isn’t here to talk to Foley, but rather Piper. Piper greets him warmly but Orton cuts him off, saying without Papa Orton, there would be no Piper. Orton goes off on him, saying his dad did all the work and Piper got all the glory. Orton shoves him so Piper takes him down. Foley and Bob pull them apart but Bob sucker punches Roddy and RKOs leave the legends laying.

We recap Shawn vs. Angle. Angle won at Mania, Shawn won at Vengeance, tonight is the rubber match.

Teddy and Eric meet in the back and Eric yells about Orton, a Smackdown guy, coming in tonight. Teddy doesn’t know anything about it but Eric wants to know who else is coming from Smackdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This is thirty minute iron man match. A TON of legends are in the front row. Shawn charges in and runs into a suplex/powerslam from Kurt. Shawn chops him in the corner to take over. Swinging neckbreaker takes Kurt down for two and they head to the floor. Angle hammers him in the corner so Shawn hooks a sleeper. A suplex gets him out of it and Kurt pounds him down for a bunch of two counts.

There’s a chinlock but they have a ton of time to work with here. Shawn breaks it with a jawbreaker at five minutes in. Shawn launches him to the floor and Angle flips forward to land on his face. Freaking OW man. Baseball slide misses and Angle hits the Slam on the floor. Angle stomps away at Shawn in the corner but Michaels comes back briefly. Kurt kills him with a buckle bomb for two.

A superplex is countered but Shawn takes too long up there so Kurt runs the corner and hits a top rope Angle Slam for the first fall after 8:10. Back with about 18 minutes to go and Kurt hooks a chinlock. Shawn tries a comeback but charges into the post. German suplex gets two. Angle whips him in hard but another Slam attempt is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into the ankle lock. Shawn counters into a rollup for the tie at just before 15 minutes to go. Or is it 15 minutes in?

Out to the floor and Shawn gets his head rammed into the steps. Back in and it’s a body scissors by Kurt. Shawn bites the head to get out of it and they slug it out. With twelve minutes left Shawn gets a rollup for two which is rolled into an ankle lock. Kurt hooks the grapevine and Shawn has to tap with about 11:15 to go, putting him up 2-1 and we take a break.

Back with Kurt working on the leg at seven and a half minutes left. Shawn hammers away but Kurt takes out the leg again. He slaps Kurt for some reason and hits the forearm (Flying Burrito says JR). Here’s Shawn’s offensive sequence and the elbow hits. Sweet Chin Music ties it up with 4:45 to go.

Four and a half minutes left. Kurt rolls to the floor and the replay shows that the kick looked awesome. Four minutes left. Shawn gets flipped over in the corner and the Angle Slam gets two. With three minutes left, Shawn counters a Slam into a DDT. Both guys are down but Shawn covers for two at two and a half minutes left. Two minutes to go.

Angle rolls through a moonsault press into an ankle lock in a cool counter. 90 seconds left. Shawn tries to kick him off but Kurt grapevines it again and we have a minute left. Shawn rolls over which might help a bit. Thirty to go and a kick to the face breaks the hold. I’ve NEVER seen the grapevine broken. Shawn kicks his head off but it’s too late for the pin as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here as they kept things moving. These two had fantastic chemistry together and this worked perfectly. The ending is kind of weak and Shawn holding on that long is a BIG stretch, but when 28 minutes are fine, there’s not much more you can ask for. Good stuff and all iron man matches should be 30 minutes.

Shawn wants overtime but Kurt walks.

We run down the card for the rest of the show. Lita looks great in the graphic.

Cena was at some hip hop awards show last week.

Kevin Von Erich is in the front row. Think he’s cheered in Dallas?

Eric comes up to see Vince in the back and tries to get out of the match with Cena tonight. He wants it to be No DQ. Vince says no. Eric goes into Easy E mode and calls him Vince. He goes off, saying this is just to drive Eric crazy so we can have a Self Destruction of Eric Bischoff DVD. He calls Vince sick and Vince says you have no idea.

Lillian reads a prepared statement about Vince and his accomplishments (“He is strong, he is handsome, he is…..well endowed?”). Here’s Vince who says this is like the old days. He remembers February 8, 1998. That was the night he beat up Steve Austin. We get a clip (the date stamp says 99, which is correct) of Austin getting pinned by Vince which is his favorite moment.

Vince talks about another favorite moment and here’s Austin. He says Vince looks nervous and isn’t sure why. Vince made Austin right? Austin remembers things differently so here are some of his clips. First up: Austin as a doctor attacking Vince in the hospital and anally violating him with an IV. The next clip is of Bang 3:16. Finally it’s the beer truck which somehow was named the #1 moment in Raw history.

Vince wants to start all over again with Austin. He only showed one of the 12 clips he had. Austin doesn’t quite buy it and Vince tries to run. Austin flips him off and Stuns him because that’s how things should be with these two. Before Austin leaves here’s the dancing son. And there’s a Stunner for Shane before he can do anything. Austin has another beer and it’s Stephanie to the rescue.

Stephanie yells about some stuff and wants to know who Austin thinks he is. He says Steph is lovely and asks what fragrance she’s wearing. Stephanie accidentally grabs his hand and Austin says he gets it: she’s flirting with him. Maybe she’s like to give old Stone Cold a kiss? She slaps him instead so there’s a Stunner for Stephanie. Now here’s Linda of all people. I don’t see this ending well.

Linda goes off on Austin for what happened. Why did he Stun Vince? “Your husband is a piece of trash.” Shane? “He’s a chip off the old block of trash.” Stephanie? “She’s a beautiful young piece of trash.” Linda wants an apology for the family but Austin say why? It was just three Stunners. Austin apologizes and Linda goes to leave. Austin stops her and asks for a kiss on the cheek. He almost implies sex but he’s talking about having a beer.

Linda drinks…and Austin’s arm goes up against her head and she falls down as Austin does. There wasn’t any contract on the fall so it looked awful, but she’s not a wrestler. You know, Vince has been unconscious for 12 minutes now. Shouldn’t he get a doctor to look at him or something?

After a break, Vince says someone will pay for what Austin did and someone is getting fired. It would somehow wind up being JR, who had to leave for legit medical issues.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Winner gets the MITB case, the loser leaves Raw. Lita is looking extra great tonight. Edge jumps Matt as he comes through the entrance and sprints up the ladder. It doesn’t work but it was a nice try. Matt turns the ladder upside down and puts Edge in it. He tries to close it which can’t feel good. Edge finally escapes and sends Matt into the ladder.

Edge suplexes him onto the ladder and goes climbing. Matt makes the save but his climb fails also. Edge puts a ladder on the top rope and Matt is sent face first into it. Here’s ladder #2 but Edge takes too long setting it up. Edge gets rammed into it but Matt gets suplexed onto it. There’s the climb but Matt saves and throws Edge into the ladder on the corner. Edge stumbles backwards to knock Matt’s ladder down as we go to a break.

Back with Edge’s suplex attempt through a table being broken up. Matt rams Edge with another ladder to put him in the crowd. Hardy dives into the crowd and the fans are loving this. Matt goes to powerbomb Lita through the table but Edge saves via a kendo stick show. Edge splashes Matt through the table and this is solid stuff again. Edge slowly climbs but Matt gets back in and hits a Twist of Fate off the ladder.

Lita kendo sticks Matt’s leg to break up his attempt so Matt rams her into the buckle. Matt goes up again but Lita pulls the ladder away so he’s just hanging there. Edge drops him onto the ropes and ties him into them. Lita holds his arms there as well in a crucifix position. Edge easily wins.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked this match. These two had a real life issue which made the matches that much more intense. Matt would go to Smackdown and wouldn’t really do anything for awhile while Edge would win his first world title in about three months by cashing in MITB. Can we just look at Lita in those shorts for a little longer?

Matt leaves with security.

Ashley and Trish get ready for later. They talk trash about their bra and panties handicap match later. Mae Young pops up to offer her services. She then flashes some legends and DiBiase offers to pay her to put her shirt back on. Moolah makes the save. Snuka wants to give her the money for something else. Oh dear.

Maria gets hit on by Flair. Flair, the IC Champion, says this is about the return of HHH.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Ric Flair/HHH

This is HHH’s return from the beatings Batista gave him. The former Evolution team is good here and HHH looks a little chubby. It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Flair clearing the ring. Flair and Carlito start us off and it’s chops all around from the partners. We take a break and come back with Carlito stomping Ric. Carlito spits the apple in Flair’s face and puts on the figure four.

Trips comes in to break it up but Carlito keeps up on the knee. He slaps Flair in the face but walks into a HARD chop. Carlito goes up and Flair slams him off for a nice change of pace. Flair Flops and Masters breaks up the tag. Masterlock doesn’t quite go on so Flair hits him low. Double tag brings in Carlito to face HHH and house is cleaned with a high knee for both guys. Now a spinebuster for both guys. HHH goes under the ring and pulls out the hammer. Carlito saves Masters from a shot with it but takes a Pedigree. Flair takes out Masters and it’s over.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here so that Flair and HHH could look dominant. Carlito was never really a guy that never got over and I’m not completely sure what the exact reason was. I don’t know if it was his look of his attitude but it never really clicked. Masters was stuck with a bad gimmick and they would never give him anything different so it’s no wonder he never went anywhere.

Post match HHH and Flair celebrate but HHH turns on him by busting him open with the sledgehammer. He hits Flair again with the hammer and we have a lot of blood. HHH sends him to the floor and beats on him in front of the legends in a nice touch.

During the break HHH kept beating on Flair in the back. It’s still going as we’re live. HHH shouts at him about how Flair is better than anybody and HHH isn’t going to let it keep happening. He yells at all the security to try and do something about it. Now they go to a limo and HHH slaps him. He throws Flair in the limo and then breaks the window with the hammer as it drives away. This would wind up being because HHH thought Flair was a joke and a parody of himself so he did this for his own good. This would result in a very violent old school cage match.

The Legends are all in the ring now. There must be 25 guys in there. I’m not sure Dean Malenko qualifies as a legend but I’ll take what I can get. Dusty talks about how all of them used to have some great times. He wants to talk about Harley Race but here’s Rob Conway who was going after legends around this time, although at a much weaker level than Orton.

Conway asks if this is Homecoming or a nursing home. He says this looks like a funeral and they need to go back to their old folks’ home to make room for the next generation. Dusty goes off on him and says that the Legends built the table Conway eats off of. Conway calls Race fat and that’s enough for the legends. Everyone beats on him and David Von Erich puts him down with the Claw. That of course blows the roof off the place. Snuka even hits the Superfly Splash!

Candace Michelle/Victoria/Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The three chicks are eventually going to be known as Vince’s Devils and they come out to what would become Laycool’s music. This is bra and panties rules and Trish is Women’s Champion. The three of them combine to rip Ashley’s top off quickly. Ashley rips Victoria’s top off and it’s time for a chase scene. Trish kicks Victoria’s head off and we head in. Jerry: “Where are the puppies???” JR: “In the same place they always are King.” Everyone but Trish loses their shirt and she strips Victoria. Candace almost loses her underwear and Torrie is stripped to end it. I’m not rating it because I think you get the idea here.

Angle comes up to Eric in the back and asks if Eric is worried about the Smackdown guys. Eric isn’t worried and also says that since Vince left, he’s in charge. Cena vs. Bischoff is now No DQ. It would be an honor to have Kurt be at ringside with him. It’s for the title and Bischoff implies if Angle helps him win the title, Eric will forfeit the title and name Kurt the new champion.

Eddie Guerrero/Christian/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit/Batista/Rey Mysterio

Benoit is US Champion, Batista is World Champion, Teddy Long is in the ring too, Eddie would be dead in about 5 weeks, JBL dances to the ring, and these are all matches on Sunday (Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Benoit was defending the title against Christian, Booker and Orlando Jordan). And there’s no match. The bell rings but Eric comes out and says hold everything. This is Raw, not Smackdown, so cut the lights. Eric cracks up at this and says go to a commercial. This set up Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series.

After a break, here’s Mean Gene to introduce Hulk Hogan. Gene talks about the reality show and all that and asks what’s next. Hulk asks if you can feel the power of Hulkamania here in Dallas. He says he’d love to face Shawn again at any time but I don’t think that ever happened. As for his next challenger, he saw someone out here tonight and the people reacted to him like no one else. The fans chant for Austin and that’s who Hogan means. He wants to know what these people would do if he climbed in the ring with that Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin. That match would have drawn tens of millions but it never happened.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Eric Bischoff

Angle is here with Bischoff. This was at a period where Batista was the biggest star in the company but Cena was on the rise. At this point, Cena was still pretty much a guy just barely not in over his head. He would grow up a lot over the next six to eight months and become the John Cena that we all know today.

Eric’s kick is countered and remember that it’s No DQ. Cena never takes his eyes off Angle. Angle tries to interfere and Eric gets in some kicks. There’s the Shuffle but Kurt comes in. The Slam is countered but the FU is broken up by a low blow. Angle misses a chair shot and hits himself by mistake. FU ends this clean. This was like two minutes long.

Angle and Cena go at it post match but here’s Teddy to say chill. Teddy says Eric embarrassed Smackdown so here comes the Smackdown guys to beat down Angle and Cena. Raw guys run in and the show ends with Big Show getting in. There’s Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different kind of show. It’s like all of the good stuff was at the beginning and then after that everything slows way down and feels a lot less important. The Raw vs. Smackdown stuff was cool but it was a lead for another show. Cena and Eric’s fight was never given a reason and was pretty boring. This show needed much better pacing but the stuff we got at the beginning was quite good.

 

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On This Day: September 23, 1996 – Monday Nitro: The NWO Runs Things. Into The Ground.

Monday Nitro #54
Date: September 23, 1996
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 4,308
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Eric Bischoff, Mike Tenay

As mentioned on the previous show, this is the one where everyone not named Savage is in Japan. Eric, ever the lunkhead, mentioned this last week and the NWO knows about it. Expect a lot of unusual names on this show and a lot of matches that no one would ever want to see. Oh and a lot of the NWO as well I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Tony holds up an ad that is allegedly in the USA Today, talking about Nitro being taken over by the NWO tonight. Larry talks about parasites.

We get clips of fans tearing up NWO stuff.

Konnan/Kevin Sullivan vs. Brad Armstrong/Juventud Guerrera

The two Mexicans start us off and Konnan takes it to the mat. Juvy is like “screw that in Spanish” and fires off a plancha and slingshot leg to speed things up. And there’s the 187 to stop that quickly. Sullivan won’t tag in so Konnan has to keep fighting. Armstrong comes in and cleans house a bit but there’s a powerbomb. Sullivan finally makes a tag and here are the NWO sign guys. Sullivan gets a pin. That’s literally all he did in the entire match: walk in and get a pin. Pretty much a squash match.

The Dungeon beats down Konnan for no apparent reason post match. And then they stop and help him up. It was an initiation according to Sullivan.

We get some clips from the end of last week’s show where the NWO said they were coming for Savage this week. Savage says he’s a marked man and if that’s what it takes to get at Hogan, that’s cool with him. He’s the last hope for WCW and says he volunteered to stay here tonight on his own. As for Liz, and I quote, “The only thing we have in common is that in a thousand lifetimes, we might be goldfish swimming in the same water.” Kids, don’t do drugs.

Mike Enos vs. Chris Jericho

We’re told that it’s Harlem Heat vs. Outsiders for the titles at Havoc. They start fast and Jericho gets slapped, as does Enos. Enos channels his inner JYD and gets on all fours to headbutt Jericho. Pretty basic match so far as we talk about Savage and the NWO. Larry says there was something else Savage said that Larry didn’t like. He doesn’t bother saying what that is, but I guess that’s an exercise left up to us.

They go to the floor and it’s all Enos. He loads up the steps and suplexes Jericho onto them, which isn’t a DQ I guess. Three minutes after he initially brought it up, Larry says it was the last hope for WCW line that he didn’t like. Off to a bearhug and then a powerslam for two. All Enos so far. Jericho gets put into a Boston Crab which isn’t ironic yet. Over the shoulder backbreaker now but Jericho counters into a sunset flip for two.

Missile dropkick puts Enos down and up to the corner we go. He sets for a super rana but Enos powerbombs him out of it (not as exciting as it sounds) for two. In a pretty cool ending that I don’t think I’ve seen before, Jericho counters a powerslam into something like a powerslam of his own (better than it sounds) for the pin. That looked pretty sweet actually.

Rating: B-. Much better match here than I was expecting. Enos was fine for what he was supposed to be here: a power guy acting as a foil for Jericho to look good against here. The ending was good too and it’s always fun to see a guy like Jericho getting one of his first big breaks on national TV. Fun match that did things simply but well.

Pat Tanaka vs. Glacier

Tanaka comes out to what would become Goldberg’s music. The guy that got the music became one of the biggest stars ever while Tanaka became the referee for Micro Championship Wrestling. It’s snowing again and we hear about Larry being a black belt also. Think they’ll be kicking a lot? Larry explains what the fist behind the hand for the bow means (wanting violence to be the second choice). They avoid kicks for awhile until Tanaka hooks a sitout powerbomb. Ignore that as a spin kick ends this in about 30 seconds. Glacier won in case you’re really stupid.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Public Enemy

Arn vs. Lex is announced for Havoc as well. The champs jump them and double team Rock for a bit. Booker vs. Rock to start but it’s off to Grunge quickly. We take a break and come back with Heat in control now. Booker crotches himself on a kick attempt though and it’s a not hot tag to Grunge. Big clothesline puts Johnny down (it’s Booker T/Stevie Ray vs. Johnny Grunge/Rocco Rock if you’ve been confused so far) and it’s off to Ray.

Time to talk about Savage again and we have a table from nowhere set up on the floor. Grunge is knocked to the floor and hit his back on it on the way down. Well that sucks. A Harlem Side Kick hits Grunge for two and we cut to the back to see the NWO arrive, now in two limos. At least it’s a chinlock that we’re missing which is an old school technique for getting around this kind of stuff. It was usually used when there was a fight in the crowd or something. Whenever you see fans looking elsewhere, you’ll often see a veteran go into a rest hold to make sure the fans don’t miss anything. That’s how a good wrestler thinks.

The hot tag brings in Rocco and he cleans house as well as a dirty man like he can. He fires off a bunch of right hands but runs into the Heat. The Hangover misses for the most part (Booker’s back landed on him instead) and we get a near fall due to Grunge’s foot being on the ropes. There’s a small package on Booker and Rock reverses it for the pin and the shocking title change.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but this was the kind of surprise that was designed to make you think anything could happen. They lost the titles like two weeks later so that Harlem Heat could defend against the Outsiders so it’s not like this lasted a significant amount of time, but it was a good surprise and I was legit shocked when it happened.

Second hour begins.

Greg Valentine vs. Randy Savage

Eric says there’s a new NWO member tonight. I can’t think of who that would be as the next member wasn’t until October and it was nothing of note unless I’m totally overlooking someone. Valentine jumps him and that doesn’t work all that well. They go to the floor with Valentine having his token control period. We hear that Super Calo has injured his elbow in a dark match so he’s out for awhile. Savage clocks Valentine with a chair twice and that’s a DQ. The whole point of this is coming down the aisle though.

Here’s the NWO and it’s beatdown time. A Jackknife puts him down and Savage is in trouble. Giant grabs a mic and introduces Hogan. They beat him down even more and drop a leg on him. They even beat him with a Slim Jim. Hogan talks about Savage being bald and they spraypaint the top of his head.

They storm the announcers’ booth and Bobby runs with Tenay. Eric can’t get away though and the announcers sit down with him. They debut their head of security: Vincent. That would be Virgil from WWF. To be fair, no one cared about him or had heard of him in years so it’s not like this meant anything.

Ok so the NWO will be running the commentary for the rest of the night. Eric keeps trying to leave but can’t get away. They debut the NWO Nascar car which used to be the WCW car. Kyle Petty is the driver.

Jim Powers vs. Michael Wallstreet

Giant is the new announcer. Hall and Nash leave the booth and DiBiase sits down instead. The Outsiders are beating up Powers now so there’s no match.

Randy Anderson walks out so Nick Patrick says he’ll do all the refereeing.

Giant chokeslams Powers again and we cut to Hogan in the back, spraypainting something. He comes down the hall and runs into the Nasty Boys. Hogan gives them his hotel key and says tonight they won’t be fighting the Outsiders because they can talk some business with Hogan later. A defection is implied.

Jim Duggan vs. Syxx

It’s supposed to be Ron Studd but that doesn’t happen as Hogan and Nash beat him down in the aisle. We hear what might be the debut of the NWO theme song. Hogan jumps in on commentary which is something that is very rare to hear. Duggan takes over to start and gets the USA chant going. You know, Syxx is from Minnesota. Wouldn’t a USA chant help him as well? The three point clothesline hits but Giant pulls Duggan out and hits one of the worst chokeslams I’ve ever seen on the concrete so that Syxx can get the pin. He had no other offense.

NWO Sting vs. Bo LaDue

LaDue has never had another televised match as far as I know. Sting does the usual Sting stuff and no one buys it. Splash and Deathlock end this.

Hogan talks about Savage a bit.

High Voltage vs. Outsiders

This is part of the NWO Tag Team Tournament. The French Canadians are supposed to be the opponents but the Outsiders come out next so the French dudes run. I have no idea what there is to say about this. Hall beats on one of them, Nash beats on one of them, we take a break, we come back with more beatings, we get a Brooke/Nick reference, Hall suplexes Rage off the top, a Jackknife pins Kaos. That match lasted about 11 minutes.

Rating: F. Yeah it’s a squash, yeah it’s supposed to be dominant, yeah it was really boring.

The NWO talks for a few minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of the benchmarks where you can see that everything is about TV instead of being for the live audience. Can you imagine how bored they’ve been for the last two hours of this show? Nothing has happened at all. The whole thing was about the NWO and they have no idea that Vincent is the new man either. This was all for the TV show, which is fine but it takes the crowd out of stuff quickly. Not a good show, but a lot of that is due to everyone being in Japan.

 

 

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Monday Nitro – April 28, 1998: More Is Awful

Monday Nitro #138
Date: April 28, 1998
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

Back with the second and third hours of this week’s show, taped just after the first hour and airing on Tuesday. The main story for tonight is Bret explaining exactly why he helped Hogan win the world title. Other than that nothing has been announced but after all the angle advancement we had last night, odds are tonight will be wrestling heavy. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers chat for a bit before looking at Bret giving Hogan the title eight days ago.

Disco Inferno vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit stomps away to start and fires off chops and headbutts in the corner. More chops and a hard suplex put Disco down and a hard elbow to the face gets two. Benoit hits a pair of rolling suplexes but Disco blocks the third into an atomic drop to take over. Inferno stomps him down in the corner and gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. Disco hits a middle rope forearm to the back of the head for another near fall and we hit the chinlock. Benoit rolls away from an elbow as the fans are surprisingly interested in this. A release German suplex puts Disco down and the Swan Dive into the Crossface get the submission.

Rating: C-. Not a bad little match here with Benoit looking good. The crowd responded really strong to Benoit and the Crossface which continues to make you wonder why it took so long to push him. Disco is much better in the ring than he’s given credit for as he looked perfectly fine out there.

Video on Jericho’s trophy case run and how the fans are becoming Jericholics.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Psychosis

Jericho comes out to Dean Malenko’s music and does a great caricature of Dean, complete with slicked back hair tied in a bun to make it look short and wringing his wrists. He even talks in a deep voice for a second before whining that he wants to go home. Referee Scott Dickinson yells at Jericho until Chris takes the belt off so the match can begin. Jericho takes him down with a shoulder block to start but Psychosis comes back with kicks and chops to take over.

A quick Liontamer attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Jericho elbows him in the face to take over. Some chops and kicks in the corner have Psychosis in trouble and elbow drops are good for two. Jericho’s charge in the corner misses and he falls to the floor, allowing Psychosis to hit a big flip dive to the floor. Back in and Jericho comes right back with a release German suplex but Psychosis breaks up the Lionsault. The guillotine legdrop with Jericho in the ropes is good for two but a top rope Frankensteiner is countered into the Liontamer to retain Chris’ title.

Rating: C-. The high spots were nice here but the ending was a bit sloppy. Psychosis was a good choice as the cruiserweight jobber to the stars as he had enough wins to be viewed as a decent threat but he was never going to win anything of note. Nice match here for the most part but it was nothing special.

Nitro Girls.

Barbarian vs. Rocco Rock

Barbarian throws him into the corner to start and powerslams Rocco down for no cover. Rocco slides through the legs but a middle rope ax handle has no effect. Instead he goes after the legs but Rocco has to beat up Jimmy Hart. Not that it matters as Hugh Morrus sneaks in and lays out Rocco, only to have Johnny Grunge come in to beat up Morrus. The match is made a tag match because the referee has that authority.

Barbarian/Hugh Morrus vs. Public Enemy

It’s a big brawl on the floor with garbage can lids all over the place. They head inside with the weapons brought in as well for good measure. Public Enemy takes over but have to beat up Jimmy Hart again. Morrus sacrifices himself to prevent Hart from being put through a table, allowing Barbarian to kick the can into Grunge’s face for the pin. This was as blatant of an ECW ripoff as you’ll ever see.

We see Savage’s rant against Hart again.

Video on Juventud Guerrera.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

Kidman gets taken down with a fast headscissors and a dropkick gets two. Juvy loads up a top rope Frankensteiner but Kidman hits him low, setting up a top rope sitout spinebuster for two. Why even use a huge spot like that when it’s not even going to end the match? Kidman misses a slingshot legdrop and Juvy heads to the apron for a springboard spinwheel kick to the face for two. A clothesline puts Juvy down but gets crotched while trying a superplex. Juvy snaps off a hurricanrana for two and the Juvy Driver and 450 are good for the pin.

Rating: C. Another nice match here with Juvy getting to look good against someone that can hang in the ring with him. They’ve done a good job of pushing Guerrera since he lost his match and the Never Surrender idea works pretty well for him. The wrestling has been consistent tonight which is a good sign.

Post match the Flock comes in and lays out Juvy.

Alex Wright talks about being on vacation in Germany but he had to come back to this pigsty to show everyone how to dance. Dancing ensues and security takes Alex away.

TV Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T

Feeling out process to start with the fans all over Eddie. Guerrero snapmares the champion down but runs into a shoulder block to put Eddie on the mat. Back up and Booker kicks him in the head before firing off forearms. Eddie comes back with a dropkick to the knee and a suplex before hitting the chinlock. Guerrero switches over to a camel clutch as the announcers actually talk about the match. Booker gets up and hits the running forearm to the head but Eddie counters the spinebuster into a hurricanrana for two. Eddie stops to yell at Chavo and gets caught with the side kick and the missile dropkick retains the title.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here but another win for Booker isn’t going to hurt anyone. The Eddie vs. Chavo story needs to take another step before it gets dull but it’s still doing well enough. I was expecting more out of Booker T vs. Eddie Guerrero than I got here but it wasn’t horrible.

Eddie blames Chavo post match.

Hour #2 begins.

The announcers talk about Bret vs. Savage before showing us part of Bret’s promo from last night.

Marty Jannetty vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn pounds away in the corner and kicks Jannetty in the face. Marty is sent out to the floor and comes back in to a superkick to take him right back down. A belly to belly suplex gets two but Marty comes back with a superkick of his own. The middle rope punch gets two but Saturn hits a Death Valley Driver for the pin. Squash.

Here’s DDP with more to say about Raven. He wants Raven to experience the Big Bang Theory but Raven walked away. Page hasn’t seen Raven tonight but thinks he’s in the building, so come get your bang right now. Instead he gets Kidman and Sick Boy who say don’t kill the messengers. They have a video from Raven with Raven asking about the pain Page put his own family through. He talks about Page’s mom sending him to live with his father at a young age and how he’ll get Page later.

Back in the arena Sick Boy takes a Diamond Cutter as Kidman bails. Page heads into the crowd as Kidman gets back in. A “fan” (Kanyon) comes in and clotheslines Kidman to the floor before being dragged off by security.

Video on Goldberg’s streak.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Jerry Flynn

Jerry kicks him down, butterfly suplex, spear, Jackhammer, pin. That’s 78-0.

Nitro Girls.

Sting/Lex Luger/The Giant vs. Konnan/Brian Adams/Scott Steiner

Konnan jumped to the Wolfpack last night but there’s no indication that Adams and Steiner have joined him. Vincent now has two trophies for Steiner, neither of which have actually been referenced by either guy. Sting and Adams get us going and Konnan drops to the floor for no apparent reason. Adams hits a quick atomic drop for two as Konnan is already back on the apron. Sting escapes a suplex and bulldogs Adams down but can’t hook an early Scorpion.

Adams bails to the floor to kill some time so Sting tags in Giant. Konnan comes in, only to be shoved to the mat with ease. Giant lifts him up in a bearhug before bringing in Luger to get some of this easy prey. Luger wants Steiner and the fans are way into the matchup. Scott wants a posedown but settles for trading shoulder blocks with Luger taking over. A Konnan distraction lets Steiner suplex Luger down and pound away with right hands. Off to Konnan but Luger explodes with a double clothesline to put Steiner and Konnan down. Adams walks out on the match and his partners soon join him for the countout.

Rating: F. This was a waste of time and that’s almost all there is to say about it. The only good thing here was Steiner acting like the crazy man that would finally get him over. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to know who is on which side in the NWO civil war here but it certainly wasn’t clear if we were.

Vincent gets chokeslammed.

Gene calls on Bret for the big explanation. Gene asks Bret why he did what he did and is told to shut up. Bret wants Hogan here in person so Gene invites Hollywood out here now. We’re rapidly running out of time and you can smell the TUNE IN NEXT WEEK finish coming from here. Hogan, Bischoff and Disciple take their sweet time getting to the ring to milk this even further.

Eric insists that Bret address Hogan as Hollywood. Bret says he’s looked up to Hogan for a long time and that Hogan is the highest paid and most recognized wrestler ever. Hogan appreciates Bret for setting the record straight….whatever that means. Bret opens up his jacket to reveal a Hogan shirt but here’s Savage as he’s about to explain. Savage is destroyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Decent wrestling in the first hour aside, this fits the WCW profile to the letter: the lower card stuff is entertaining but the stars are boring and you get next to nothing out of them. The big reveal at the end never happened so we still have no idea why Bret did what he did. The longer they wait, the less likely it is that we get an actual explanation. The one hour version, as in the version without the stars, blew this show away and it wasn’t even anything great.

Remember no Thunder this week.

 

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