IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 13, 2004
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The year is starting to come to a close and Eric Bischoff is back to run things again. This time around that means we need a solution to the World Title being vacated, which should mean some kind of big gimmick match for the January’s pay per view. That would be the regular January show and not the Royal Rumble, because January suddenly needs to pay per views. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Eric Bischoff with the World Title to get things going. Bischoff recaps all the changes since he went on vacation and then gets into the meat of things. Two weeks ago, both Chris Benoit and Edge got a fall at the same time, but traditionally a tie goes to the champion. That would be HHH, so all three are standing in the back watching intently. HHH says no one beat him, clearly not understanding how triple threats work.

That starts an argument with Benoit so Edge says this is how it always goes. Edge has had it with waiting and the fight is on. Bischoff has had it and makes HHH/Batista vs. Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit. As for Edge, he can fight Randy Orton RIGHT NOW. The decision on the title can come later tonight. I think you can guess what it is based on the people put in those two matches, but let’s wait a little longer.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

The fans remind Edge that he tapped out and he’s so shaken up that Orton can shove him into the corner. They go with some amateur stuff in a bit of a surprise, followed by an exchange of missed dropkicks for a standoff. Orton goes with the hard clothesline to put Edge on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Orton grabbing a chinlock (he does love his chinlocks) for a bit until Edge gets a foot on the rope. You don’t see that as a counter to a chinlock very often but you don’t often see a heel in one for that long either. Edge gets up and baseball slides him to the floor, followed by a spear off the apron. Back in and the chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on with Orton taking his sweet time getting up.

A crossbody gives Orton two and they’re both down again (that’s happened a lot in this one). It’s Edge up first but Orton dropkicks him out of the air, followed by the backbreaker for two. The Edge-O-Matic gives Edge two of his own and it’s time to yell at the referee. Orton snaps off the powerslam but misses the high crossbody. The spear misses as well and it’s the RKO to finish Edge.

Rating: C+. Good match, but you could cut off the first ten minutes and not miss anything. These two like to go for the big epic match and it really doesn’t work all that well. Edge losing again doesn’t exactly help his case for the World Title, but we have to keep Orton hot for his title push….whenever that actually happens again.

Ric Flair lists off HHH’s accomplishments so HHH can convince Bischoff to make him champion again. Violence is threatened but here’s Batista to say that’s a bad idea. Batista wants HHH to play the game properly and show Bischoff instead of telling him. When they win tonight, Bischoff will know who the real champion is.

Christy, Melina and Maria are here with a t-shirt gun. After the announcers recap the opening sequence, here’s Gene Snitsky to interrupt, with Melina taking a few extra moments to notice him. Since no one will give him a match around here, he’d rather come out here and play with the t-shirt gun….and dance? Thankfully he reverts to monster form by grabbing Christy by the throat, because he has fun when someone is suffering.

This brings out Lita, who says Snitsky must feel like a big man right now. Despite everything Snitsky did to her, Lita is the Women’s Champion. Uh, he did like one thing to you. Anyway, Kane is coming back to deal with Snitsky. The complete non-reaction to that announcement is rather telling. Snitsky goes after Lita, who escaped behind a wall of fire.

Christian rants about Chris Jericho making him dress like a superhero last week while Candice Michelle does his makeup. Eugene comes up and gets on Christian’s nerves by saying Captain Charisma isn’t as good as Aquaman. He even asks for an autograph but gets broken up by a cameo.

Mick Foley of all people pops up and Eugene freaks out because Foley is tied for his four favorite wrestlers. It’s Foley, the Rock (Foley: “That’s a good choice.”), Papa Shango (Foley: “Ok that’s a weird one.”) and Beautiful Bobby Eaton, because he’s from right here in Huntsville, Alabama. Has Eaton ever been mentioned on Raw before? Foley leaves with Eugene, even though he stole his cheap pop. Eugene tells Christian and Tomko to have a nice day, Bang Bang.

Simon Dean is in Eric Bischoff’s office to sign his official Raw contract when Chris Benoit comes in. Dean leaves and Benoit says he worked so hard to get the title. He wants a rematch of the triple threat match for the title but Bischoff says Benoit is already in a tag match. Benoit isn’t happy and says if Bischoff gives the title back to HHH, he’ll just be showing how spineless he really is.

Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs. HHH/Batista

Ric Flair is here with Evolution. Benoit slugs away at HHH to start and the loud chops in the corner follow. HHH gets smart by going with the power to drive Benoit into the corner for the boot choke from Batista. It’s off to Jericho who can’t do anything with Batista either so it’s back to HHH for some more first gear grappling. A shoulder and the jumping knee to the face move things up a bit and take Jericho down, followed by a heck of a whip into the corner from Batista.

The chinlock keeps Jericho in trouble and it’s back to HHH for some choking in the corner. A delayed vertical suplex into the knee drop gives HHH one with Benoit making the save. Flair goes after the referee and gets decked by Jericho, sending him into the trademark rage. HHH calms him down though and we take a break.

Back with Benoit hitting a German suplex on HHH but missing the Swan Dive, even with Batista not being able to grab Benoit’s foot in time. HHH whips Benoit back first into the corner for two and it’s off to the abdominal stretch to cause some screaming. The assist from Batista gets HHH caught so he throws some right hands in the corner while calling spots.

HHH’s jump off the middle rope that is designed to land on a raised boot lands on a raised boot, meaning Jericho can come in. Jericho rolls Batista up for two and slips out of the Batista Bomb, setting up an enziguri. The Lionsault connects and HHH is sent to the floor, leaving Benoit to hit the Swan Dive. The Sharpshooter goes on and the saving HHH is pulled into the Crossface. That’s enough of a distraction for Batista to hit the spinebuster for the pin on Benoit.

Rating: B. This was working the formula rather well and Batista is getting better and better every week. His star power is rising as well as he gets sick of HHH, which is only going to mean great things for him. Giving him the pin like that makes things look even better, as HHH isn’t going to be happy.

Here’s Mick Foley for a chat. After all, what would Christmastime be without a Mick Foley book plug? He’s not telling you to buy it or that it’s a great Christmas gift idea though. Actually he’s here to mention that he’s going to be on Smackdown next week, because he’s going to Iraq for the Tribute to the Troops. We get a look at last week’s show and Foley mentions that he still has some John Kerry bumper stickers in his garage. The fans boo and Foley remembers that this is a red state.

Supporting the troops goes beyond political affiliation though and he’s honored to be going over there and entertain the troops. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for something that is going to go very badly in a hurry. Hassan talks about blindly supporting the troops and the country, but then 9/11 happened.

People like the two of them are the real victims of the war and none of the people here are real patriots. Why would they support a war that causes the unfair treatment of Arab Americans? Hassan feels the “patriotism” around every airport and right now, though Foley disagrees with almost every word. Foley puts over America as the place where you can say any stupid views you want so Hassan calls Americans infidels. That’s too far for Foley, who lists off various people who were hurt or killed defending his rights. Hassan: “YOU SUPPORT AN EVIL AND UNJUST WAR!” Foley: “I SUPPORT AMERICA!”

Those rights don’t apply in the ring (Foley Island) though and if Hassan comes inside, he’ll get a fist in his mouth. Hassan and Daivari walk away again. I know it was a different time, but this stuff is as heavy handed as it gets these days, with the Love It Or Leave It stuff being a lot to take. I get where these debates have an audience, but it’s not the most interesting thing on a wrestling show.

We look back at Lita winning the Women’s Title last week.

Trish Stratus doesn’t care what the interviewer’s name is because she isn’t happy with what happened. She’ll get her title back.

Rochelle (egads another random woman on the roster) is in Bischoff’s office when Edge comes in to say he deserves the title. We hear his usual list of times where he got cheated and is told that the decision is coming tonight.

Christian/Tyson Tomko/Maven vs. Eugene/William Regal/Shelton Benjamin

Eugene backdrops Christian to start and pulls out his own version of Mr. Socko as Lawler insists that Christian could beat Aquaman. Maven and Christian both take airplane spins but Tomko takes Eugene’s head off with a clothesline. The chinlock keeps Eugene in trouble (Regal: “Come on Eug!”) and it’s back to Maven for an elbow to the head. Regal’s overly loud shouting continues as JR sucks up to the troops all over again. Eugene gets two each off a backslide and small package so Christian rips at his face.

Shelton and Regal are knocked off the apron as the announcers talk about Simon Dean. Come on the match isn’t THAT bad. Maven puts on a chinlock of his own with a knee in Eugene’s back until a Stunner breaks things up. Shelton finally comes in to start taking over and an exploder getting two on Maven as Christian makes the save. Christian gets Socko from Eugene but Maven rolls Shelton up and grabs the rope for the upset.

Rating: D. This felt a lot longer than the seven minutes it lasted. Maven’s continued push isn’t helping anything, but at least having it be in the midcard instead of the main event is a little more believable. The match wasn’t even very good as it was Eugene getting beaten until the last minute when Shelton got pinned.

HHH glares at Bischoff and then nearly begs him to return the title. He seems near tears as he talks about how important the title is to him as this is getting WAY too deep into HHH’s psyche than I’m comfortable with being. See, HHH needs to be champion so people can recognize him. Oh and it’s good for business.

Next week: the Best of 2004. Pick your favorite “that’s going to be a short show” joke.

Bischoff comes to the ring and calls for HHH, Edge and Benoit to join him. The three of them do, with Flair and Batista joining HHH. All the team does is win and the World Heavyweight Champion should be a winner. Bischoff liked the idea of another triple threat match but that’s not what he wants to do. Or maybe he could hand the belt to Edge, but that’s not a good move since Edge has never been champion before.

With that WCW philosophical line out of the way, Bischoff gets to his idea: the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution, which was the pretty clear pick the entire time. In addition to the three of them, Jericho, Batista and Orton will be involved as well. Only Batista seems to be happy as Bischoff leaves. Benoit gets beaten down so here are Jericho and Orton for the big six way brawl. Orton RKO’s Batista to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The longer wrestling was nice for a change, but the bigger problem here was how we spent weeks waiting to find out what is going on with the title and the answer is we wait another month. That’s going to make for some very long shows before we get to the title change, but it means they can do very little until we get to the Royal Rumble where things can actually happen. Not a terrible show, but another case of filling time until we get to what really matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 4, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a big show as we’re in the World’s Most Famous Arena for one of the last two shows before a gimmick pay per view on a Tuesday. Last week’s Raw saw Randy Orton try to turn Ric Flair away from the dark side, only to get screwed out of the Taboo Tuesday title match voting. I’m sure you know where this is headed so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Orton and Flair last week with Orton’s very good promo that was wasted by the end of the night.

Opening sequence.

The arena is set up as normal, which takes away some of the MSG charm.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair for a chat. Flair recaps last week and wants to correct himself: HHH isn’t the greatest wrestler alive because he’s the greatest of all time. So isn’t he the greatest alive too? Flair is the only man who can say that because Orton has been barred from the building. I’m not sure how those things go together but Flair keeps going by ripping on people Orton has taken out who certainly aren’t legends.

As for Taboo Tuesday, Flair and Orton are fighting one more time in either a falls count anywhere match, a submission match or a cage match. HHH talks about how Taboo Tuesday is going to be a complete disaster (he’s not wrong) because fans can’t be relied on to make decisions. He’s supposed to rely on people like the ones in the front row to make decisions? These people must like that they get to decide Evolution’s fate. To quote an “overrated Hollywood actor”, “It doesn’t matter what you think.”

Taboo Tuesday is a joke and a sham but here’s Chris Jericho to interrupt. Jericho says that this is NOT a repeat, even though HHH is complaining about Taboo Tuesday again. This is Raw Is Jericho so let’s take a poll here tonight. The fans don’t seem to think that HHH is the greatest wrestler alive today, or the greatest of all time for that matter. What about the biggest horse’s a** that ever walked the face of the earth? Jericho: “It looks like we have a winner!”

Jericho reminds us that he inspired Taboo Tuesday in the first place and he’ll be the one laughing when HHH loses the title. Flair demands that he come out here right now for some respect but Jericho comes to the ring with a chair. Cue Batista from behind though and the beatdown is on until Edge and Chris Benoit makes the save. Sounds like another six man, which is far from a bad idea.

Sidebar: so allegedly the reason why HHH got the title back at Unforgiven was he didn’t think fans would want to vote on three heels for Taboo Tuesday. The voting for the Orton vs. Flair match proves that what he’s saying is completely ridiculous, as you could have had the fans pick a stipulation for Orton vs. HHH and swap Flair in for HHH to face Shawn, Edge or Benoit with everything else being the same. How was that not a viable option? Other than HHH doesn’t get the title back of course.

Christian isn’t that impressed with being in Madison Square Garden because Shawn Michaels gets too much credit for that one ladder match in this building. He had a big match here at Wrestlemania XX and actually won. When he beats Shawn tonight, he’s taking the torch the fans are carrying for Michaels.

Shawn Michaels vs. Christian

Tomko is with Christian of course. They go with the basics to start with Shawn hitting a shoulder and grabbing a headlock takeover. As the hold stays on, there’s a sign in the crowd saying Christian is a Major Punk with C M PUNK in red letters. Subtle but I’ve seen worse. Shawn doesn’t take kindly to being slapped in the face and Thesz presses Christian down for some right hands. Christian sends him into the corner to take over as the announcers talk about the intelligence of the fans.

A missed charge crotches Christian though and Shawn knocks Tomko down for good measure. Sweet Chin Music takes forever to set up as usual so Tomko pulls Christian to the floor. That just earns him Sweet Chin Music of his own and we take a break. Back with Shawn not being able to fight out of a chinlock as Tomko has already been helped out. The reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two, followed by the reverse DDT backbreaker for the same.

Christian hits the chinlock again but this time Shawn is up in a hurry and it’s a double knockdown for a pair of nine counts. Shawn is back with the forearm into the nipup to start the comeback but a quick Unprettier plants him. Christian’s very delayed cover gets two and the fans are very pleased. As they should be since this has been good so far. Christian heads up top but gets backdropped down, setting up the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music hits for the clean finish.

Rating: B. Rather strong match here with Shawn winning clean as he gets some more momentum on the way to Taboo Tuesday. Christian losing might not be the best idea long term but at least he got to hang with one of the best around. That’s going to help him going forward as he’s already an established midcarder/upper midcarder. Just get up the ladder a little higher and stay there longer and he’ll be set.

Earlier today, Lita said that she was in a predicament but is now sad that she lost the baby. You know, the one that was basically the spawn of the devil. Now though, she hates Snitsky and doesn’t buy the idea that it wasn’t his fault. Come on after all those times he’s said it, how can it not be true? She starts shouting and recaps the whole story, which lowers her acting skills by at least 38%.

Eric Bischoff asks an unseen woman if they have a deal and they shake hands. He’ll see her in the ring later tonight. Coach comes in and asks why she is here, because proper nouns are only used when it’s appropriate. Coach is also worried about interviewing Snitsky so Bischoff says JR can do it instead.

JR brings Snitsky out…and he’s got a baby carriage. Snitsky brings it into the ring but we have to pause for a BABY KILLER chant. All that matters is that IT WASN’T HIS FAULT but here’s Kane to disagree. Snitsky throws the carriage at him but not before pulling out a pipe to beat Kane down. See not only is he not to blame, but he’s not stupid. Kane gets busted open and Snitsky chokes him out with the pipe.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Flair is out with Batista, who gets knocked to the floor in a hurry. Back in and Benoit goes after the leg with a dragon screw legwhip and Batista limps around the floor. The knee is fine enough to hit a big spinebuster back inside and it’s time to work on Benoit’s back. Benoit sends him into the corner though and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. With Flair being knocked off the apron, Batista shoves off a Crossface attempt. Flair gets in a low blow and posts Benoit but Orton runs in to break up the Batista Bomb for the DQ.

Rating: C. It was fun while it lasted due to the high levels of intensity you knew were coming from these two but the ending was what mattered. Orton fighting through Evolution to get to HHH again is fine, but there’s only so much you can do when Evolution gets the upper hand on him or Orton has to run away every week.

Post match Orton stays on Batista but Bischoff sends out security to arrest him. Flair and Batista get in a few cheap shots to take Orton down.

Post break Bischoff is in the ring to complain about Taboo Tuesday. Speaking of the show, Snitsky will face Kane in a Fans Pick The Weapon match with a lead pipe, a steel chair or a steel chain being legal. As for Chris Jericho, who laughed at the idea of HHH facing three people, he’ll have to defend the Intercontinental Title against anyone not already in a match, which means nearly twenty options. Bischoff wants to see those people in his office in about fifteen minutes.

That brings him to his match with Eugene, who he wants in the ring right now. Eugene comes out and Bischoff tells him that someone in the back has a crush on him. That would be Carmella, who Bischoff thinks should have won the Diva Search. She also has a match with Christy Hemme at Taboo Tuesday, but for now Bischoff explains that she was in Playboy. He whispers what that means to Eugene, who freaks out.

Carmella talks about how hot she finds Eugene, except for his hair. See, if Eugene loses the hair vs. hair match on purpose, she would find him perfect. Eugene agrees, but he wants a kiss now. That’s not happening so Eugene will settle with Carmella taking her top off. That’s not happening either because Carmella is too good for Eugene or these people. Bischoff likes her style so the match with Christy is still on. Cue Christy to shove Carmella and kiss Eugene.

So now we’re getting more Christy vs. Carmella? Was that really such an awesome feud that it needs a sequel? I know WWE has put a lot into this whole thing but for some reason now we’re stuck with seeing them on pay per view. At least it’s going to be short, but Taboo Tuesday was already looking bad enough as it was.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Rhyno/Tajiri

La Resistance is defending and Grenier actually gets to finish O Canada. After some confusion over whether or not this is for the titles, Conway headlocks Hurricane to start. Rosey comes in for a save and a double legdrop (one between the legs and one on the neck) has Conway in trouble. Hurricane gets knocked off the top though and we hit a front facelock. Conway pulls Rosey off the apron, leaving Hurricane to take Au Revoir for the fast pin.

Post match Rosey keeps going after the champs, who turn his mask around. The blind Rosey lays out Hurricane in what seems to be setting up a rematch. It would help a bit if they hadn’t just lost in two minutes.

WWE received an award from Make-A-Wish.

Simon System ad. Simon: “My name is Simon Dean and odds are, I don’t like you.”

Edge says you should vote for him because he’s never faced HHH, unlike Michaels and Benoit, who have faced HHH over and over in a million title shots. Edge lists off all the titles he’s won and injuries he’s suffered and now he deserves a chance. Fair enough, though his face/heel shifting is getting annoying.

The people who could face Jericho at Taboo Tuesday are in Bischoff’s office. Bischoff has a job for them tonight: they’re going to be lumberjacks when Jericho faces HHH.

Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly

Trish Stratus is on commentary and isn’t too kind to Christy based on what happened last week. Stacy bites Molly’s finger to start (Trish: “Whatever works.”) and there’s the boot choke in the corner. Molly gets in a suplex as Lawler is very pleased by the visuals of Stacy’s skirt. The slapping doesn’t get Stacy very far so we look at Trish on commentary instead. A missed knee in the corner lets Stacy kick Molly down but Trish heads to the ring for a distraction. For once it actually doesn’t work as Stacy blocks the rollup and pins Molly for the upset. They wouldn’t be stupid enough to have Stacy vs. Trish for the title would they?

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title lumberjack match. Jericho jumps him after the posing and hits a backdrop before HHH can even get his belt off. The title falls off when HHH is sent outside and the lumberjacks start hammering away. Back in and HHH throws him outside for the same treatment. Jericho is fine enough to slingshot over HHH into a failed Walls attempt so it’s a catapult into the corner instead.

HHH sends him outside for more stompings, followed by blocking the Walls again so Jericho can get sent outside for the third time in about two minutes. This time Christian jumps him but Jericho thinks it was Rhyno and beats him up instead. Back in (again) and Jericho misses the Lionsault, knocks Batista off the apron, and finally gets the Walls. That’s broken up as Flair has to be dispatched, followed by a big dive onto a bunch of lumberjacks. With the referee distracted, Rhyno comes in for the Gore to give HHH the pin.

Rating: D-. What a waste of time, especially with the lumberjacks. If they don’t want to have either of these two do a job (as they shouldn’t), don’t set the match up in the first place. This was a bunch of throwing each other to the floor and failed finisher attempts until Rhyno came in to finish things off. Another bad main event to cap off a series of terrible matches tonight.

Post match the fight is on with Orton coming in to hit some RKO’s on random people. A big one to Coach (more like a jumping Stunner) finishes the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well that was bad. The usual suspects had their good matches as always but at the same time, we had a bunch of terrible matches and promos that consisted of “Taboo Tuesday is stupid” and heels saying “we hate this” over and over. The problem is we’re coming up on what feels like any given pay per view but we have a bunch of completely acceptable stipulations to pick from. That doesn’t make for an interesting show, which is something this place could really use right now. Hopefully it picks up, but I’m not exactly thrilled with the prospects right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 2004
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the season premiere of Raw and that means….I’m not sure really as wrestling doesn’t have seasons. One thing tonight is the end of the Diva Search, meaning the segments that have managed to make great looking women in swimsuits a chore to sit through are over. Other than that, we’re coming up on Taboo Tuesday, which we don’t know much about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Jim Barnett, a longtime promoter in the NWA and Australia.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up. After a quick welcome, he wants to get to the major announcement promised, which concerns everyone, including Eric Bischoff. This brings out a limping Bischoff (thanks to having a sledgehammer dropped on his fott a few weeks back) and Vince gets to the point. A few weeks ago, Chris Jericho suggested that the fans vote on a type of match. That’s a good idea, but what about doing it on a full pay per view?

Indeed, on October 19, we’ll be seeing a new concept called Taboo Tuesday (yes Tuesday) where the fans get to vote on everything from who gets a World Title shot to what the Divas are wearing. Bischoff loves the idea on paper but doesn’t think these people are capable of making such decisions. Vince is a busy man so maybe he should think about this for a week. Next Monday, Bischoff can have another idea that isn’t involving the fans taking control.

That sounds like patronizing to Vince, and there’s a reason that Bischoff is the GM of Raw and Vince isn’t the GM of Nitro (good line). Maybe Bischoff doesn’t like the idea because with the fans picking things, there’s no need for a GM. Actually, Vince thinks Bischoff should be wrestling that night, against this man. Cue the still injured Eugene and Bischoff isn’t sure what to do.

They’ll be facing off at Taboo Tuesday and the fans get to pick what happens to the loser. Vince even has options: the loser is the winner’s servant, the loser has to wear a dress, or the loser’s head is shaved. Bischoff immediately tries to talk Eugene out of the match because he loves his nephew. They could go out and get some ice cream tonight but Eugene knocks him out instead.

The fans didn’t exactly react to the concept, and I can’t say I blame them. As Bischoff said it’s good on paper, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to go in practice. On a related note though, how much better is it to have Eugene back at a level where he belongs? It’s probably way too late, but this was more charming than annoying and that’s a positive sign for him.

We look back at Randy Orton attacking HHH last week, including the cake. Orton got him at the end of the show as well, but HHH still left as champion so it’s not like it mattered all that much. Shelton Benjamin and Chris Benoit ran in for the save to end the show, meaning we’re probably in for a six man tonight.

Hey look there’s a six man tonight.

Stacy Keibler/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

In case you didn’t get enough of Stacy wrestling last week. Stacy mocks Molly’s dancing from last week because she frowns on culture. Victoria takes Trish down early to start and the standing moonsault (now minus the dancing) gets two. Molly comes in and walks into a powerslam as Lawler talks about getting to dress the Divas at Taboo Tuesday. A giant swing doesn’t work well for Victoria with the announcers mocking her for it, but thankfully it’s not time for a tag to Stacy just yet. The spinning side slam plants Trish and now it’s off to Stacy for two. Molly comes back in and gets caught in a backslide for the quick pin. Yay indeed.

Orton reads Raw Magazine because that’s what wrestlers do. Vince comes in and says “Sucks doesn’t it?” He’s talking about reality, which is what caused Orton to lose the title. Orton promises to win the title back because it’s his destiny. This interests Vince, who tells Orton to give it his all.

Billy Graham is here.

We look back at Gene Snitsky causing Kane to accidentally injury Lita last week.

Snitsky has been blamed all week but it wasn’t his fault. Last week Snitsky was there to do a job and he did that. To repeat, it wasn’t his fault!

Hurricane vs. Tajiri

This is fallout from a tag match on Heat. They fight over a wristlock to start until Tajiri kicks him in the face. Hurricane gets in a clothesline to set up a seated full nelson but Tajiri fights up without much effort. A tornado DDT is blocked and Tajiri gets in a superkick. Hurricane is right back with something like a neckbreaker but Tajiri reverses the cover into a crucifix for the fast pin.

Post match Hurricane is mad and takes the mask back from a fan. That’s quite the nice heel move.

Kane is at a medical facility (thankfully in street clothes instead of his gear) and says there is a 50/50 chance of saving the baby. Upon hearing Snitsky’s name, Kane gets a lot angrier and vengeance seems to be sworn. So this is the start of Kane’s face turn, though it’s still not the nicest of scenarios.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Jericho is defending and has hacked his hair off for a pretty bad look. Christian comes out for commentary as a bonus. As expected, they fight over arm control to start until Shawn takes him down with a headlock. Back up and Shawn gets sent over the top so the cat get skinned, allowing him to come off the top with a high crossbody, which gets rolled through for two. A backbreaker keeps Shawn in trouble as Christian dubs himself the Show Stealer, which is much better than the Showstopper.

Jericho’s superplex attempt is broken up without much effort and Shawn hits the early top rope elbow. That’s enough for Christian, who goes to the ring to steal the show. He manages to get in but Shawn knocks him right back out, only to walk into the enziguri from Jericho. Christian gets ejected (wrestling referees have no jurisdiction over commentators) and we take a break. Back with Shawn starting in on the leg and grabbing the Figure Four. That’s broken up in a hurry so Shawn gets smart and stays on the leg.

Jericho grabs a small package for the break and kicks Shawn down, only to jam his knee on a Lionsault attempt. The rapid fire pinfall reversal sequence gives us some good near falls until Jericho takes him down again and scores with the Lionsault this time around. Jericho goes with the straight right hands this time around but Shawn is right back up with the forearm into the nipup. Shawn nips up and gets caught in the Walls, only to have Jericho let go and dropkick the invading Tyson Tomko down. That’s enough for Sweet Chin Music to connect but a very, very slow crawl over for the cover draws Christian in for the DQ.

Rating: B. It was good while it lasted and I can understand why they went with the DQ finish. It’s annoying, but Shawn isn’t going to be Intercontinental Champion and Jericho isn’t ready to lose the thing yet. Christian and Tomko are almost annoying at this point though, as the match was getting really good when the interference started.

Post match Christian shouts at Shawn and beats him up, which is one of the first times I’ve bought him as a bigger time heel.

Smackdown Rebound.

Kane has freaked out at the medical facility with a lot of screaming ensuing.

HHH complains to Evolution about the fans voting because fans are stupid. Flair tells HHH to calm down because he’s the best ever and all that jazz.

Long recap of the Diva Search, with the eliminated women talking about how much they learned about respecting the business. I’m not sure if I want to laugh or glare over a line that stupid.

Rob Conway vs. Maven

What are we doing here? Conway jumps Maven from behind to start as the USA chants start up in a hurry. Maven fights out of a chinlock and stops a charge in the corner before hitting a high crossbody. That’s rolled through to give Conway two (second time we’ve seen that spot in as many matches) before Maven hooks a small package for the pin. Nothing match and it’s still Maven.

Lita’s doctor says she lost the baby, because a doctor is going to do that on national television ten minutes after the fact. Kane comes out of the room and nearly kills the doctor but beats up a wall and screams instead. Hey the wall didn’t hurt your baby dude.

Simon Dean wants to help you lose weight. Seeing the Simon System advertised on VHS is so strange. Simon: “Remember, you can be fat, unattractive and die alone, or you can do the right thing and pick up the phone.”

JR and King do their somber voices about Lita losing the baby.

And now, the Diva Search finals, because WWE doesn’t know what a transition is. Coach mocks both of them and goes to get the envelope but here’s Trish, looking very out of place in a dress, to interrupt. After making fun of all the tasks the women have had to go through, she promises an official victory party for the winner next week. With Trish gone, Christy wins the contest and cheers a lot. She says it’s all about the energy and that she doesn’t need decaf. Carmella gives the lame “oh well it was fun” response doesn’t care about the booing. After some more lame answers, this whole thing is finally done, thank goodness.

Evolution vs. Randy Orton/Chris Benoit/Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks HHH down to start and thankfully the announcers bring up Shelton beating him a few times. A shoulder block just lets Shelton nip up so HHH tries the right hands. That goes badly as well as HHH gets backdropped, only to drive Shelton into the corner. So strength seems to work on Shelton, which is why HHH tags Flair instead of Batista. Some cerebral. Benoit tags himself in as well and it’s time for the chop off. Flair gets the worse of it and the Swan Dive connects for two as everything breaks down.

Orton loads up the RKO on the floor but gets posted, allowing Batista to hit the big clothesline. That means Orton needs medics and we take a break. Back with Shelton coming in off the hot tag to clean house and hitting a Stinger Splash on Flair. Batista misses a charge into the corner, though he comes nowhere near the post for a bit of a weird visual. HHH finally gets in a knee and Shelton is in trouble for a change.

Things slow down with Flair hammering away in the corner and HHH coming in without a tag, though Lawler is sure he saw one. I’ll take his word for it. The spinebuster gives HHH two and it’s back to Flair for the Figure Four. That’s broken up as well but Batista remembers that he’s in the match and works on the leg as well. The slow motion holds continue until Shelton kicks Batista in the face, allowing the hot tag to Benoit.

Everything breaks down (of course) and Benoit suplexes both Batista and Flair. HHH comes back in and takes one of his own, leaving Flair to get caught in the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up by HHH but here’s Orton to charge down the ramp and tag himself in. A few right hands send HHH running and the RKO finishes Flair.

Rating: C+. And thus it’s another attempt to get Orton a big moment. That’s all well and good, but having him already win and lose the title makes this feel out of place. The fans aren’t exactly enamored with Orton at the moment and having him taken out so Benoit and Benjamin can wrestle most of the match isn’t going to help things. The only thing that can make it better is him winning the title from HHH and being a hero, but that’s not going to happen because it’s HHH’s title and no one is getting over as a hero while that is the case.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was pretty watchable this week but for the most part I kept wondering if this is what we were really doing. A lot of the show just felt like it was there for the sake of doing something with the time as we sit around and wait on the next big story. Orton, at least in this form, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and that leaves us back where we were a year ago. Something needs to be shaken up around here very soon, but it might be a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another big one and it’s also a one sided show. The Smackdown offerings are about as uninteresting as they could be while the Raw side looks at at least marginally better. This isn’t a great show on paper and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to be even worse as it actually takes place. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home episode of Smackdown if you need a recap.

The opening video talks about surviving things such as the game, evolution, and the battles in between. That’s all this needed to be, especially with Austin vs. Bischoff being the real main event.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, Chris Benoit, John Cena, Bradshaw

Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan

Cena is out first and raps about burying everyone, meaning Lesnar and Show need a bigger graves. He’s still new at this team thing because he wonders if he can trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Holly wastes no time and attacks Lesnar before the bell, sending him into the steps and trying a full nelson to break his neck. He also shoves a referee, and gets disqualified before the match even starts.

The bell rings and a Clothesline from Bradshaw ends A-Train in less than thirty seconds to tie it up. The chokeslam gets rid of Bradshaw as we’re not even a minute in yet. Good idea actually, as it’s not like Bradshaw and Holly were anything more than warm bodies anyway. Cena comes in but can’t FU Big Show and gets thrown into the corner as the four remaining members start working him over. A Throwback to Lesnar gets two but more importantly it allows the hot tag off to Benoit.

The chokeslam is countered into a Crossface (always looks cool) with Lesnar making a save. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as things slow down again. The standing legdrop gets two on Benoit and it’s time for some double teaming on the floor. Angle and Cena have finally had enough and go over to make a save but Benoit is beaten down even more. Morgan comes in for some lumbering offense but a suplex allows the hot tag to Angle. That means a series of suplexes as everything breaks down. The Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie us up at three.

Show clotheslines Jones by mistake though and an ankle lock gets rid of Nathan less than thirty seconds later. An F5 gets rid of Angle with the first count coming as Jones’ elimination is still being announced. We’re down to Benoit/Cena vs. Lesnar/Show and Brock goes shoulder first into the post.

A Crossface has Lesnar in trouble but he reverses into a cradle for two. Benoit won’t be denied though and slaps it on again, this time with Lesnar’s feet reaching the ropes. The third attempt makes Lesnar tap and we’re down to two on one. Benoit drops Show with a top rope shoulder for two so Cena adds a chain shot and the FU for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was too fast for the most part but the real problem comes from the fact that so many people were involved in the first place. This really could have been a six man elimination tag (A-Train as the third villain) and it would have been better, but that’s not how these things traditionally work. Cena and Benoit winning in the end is the right way to go as Cena’s rocket push is being assembled, but at the same time there’s a lot of work left to do. Benoit vs. Cena, which could still happen, would be a benefit for both guys and that’s a good sign for the future. Unfortunately it wasn’t the best present, but at least it wasn’t long.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shane and talks about how tonight, father and son are facing two brothers. He thinks it’s almost spiritual and asks Shane how he feels about that. Shane only feels sorry for Vince. The boss leaves and runs into Austin, who starts laughing. Then he stops and gets serious before walking away. These two have great chemistry even if it doesn’t make the most sense.

JR explains the exchange.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match a few weeks back. Feeling out process to start as JR explains that these two have some contrasting styles. Lita gets knocked to the floor so Molly starts in on the back with some ax handles. We hit a dragon sleeper with Jerry liking her intensity. The handspring elbow in the corner keeps Lita in trouble and Molly stomps away.

A running corner clothesline rocks Molly and Lita rains down some right hands for her first real offense. Molly cuts her off with a side slam but Lawler would rather talk about Lita’s thong. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita a breather but the moonsault misses. The Molly Go Round gets two so Molly rips off a turnbuckle pad and sends Lita face first to retain.

Rating: D+. This was mainly Molly doing everything while Lita did a thing or two here and there. That’s not the most thrilling style in the world but Molly can be made into a good champion for a big name to take the title from later. Let her be built up for awhile instead of giving Lita the title immediately. It’s ok to wait now and then.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane went nuts after losing his mask and after struggling to defeat Rob Van Dam, started tormenting Linda McMahon. Shane became the big star out of this because of course he did, including beating himself in a Last Man Standing match. Various attempted murders later set up this ambulance match, which is possibly the second most pushed match on the show.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Ambulance match with Shane charging straight at him for a crossbody to the floor. Shane knocks him onto the announcers’ table and hits him in the head with a monitor, setting up the big elbow to drive Kane through. That’s enough at ringside though so they head to the back, including the camera cutting out. That means we hit the pretape and come back with Shane pounding him down with a kendo stick.

Shane puts him in a security shack and jumps into an SUV to run Kane over again. Finding a well placed walkie-talkie, Shane tells someone to SEND IT, which means it’s time for an ambulance backstage. But is that the designated ambulance? That makes a difference you know. Instead of backing the ambulance up to the shack where Kane is down, Shane grabs a stretcher and wheels it twenty feet over, allowing Kane to grab him by the throat and slam Shane into a wall.

The camera goes out again and we pick it up with Kane knocking him back into the arena. Shane gets knocked into the front of the ambulance but manages to hit Kane in the face with the back door. What a sick sounding thud too. Kane is back up and sends Shane into the ambulance but another ram with the door gets Shane out of trouble. A tornado DDT on the floor plants Kane as they’re now near the grave for the Buried Alive match.

Shane puts a trashcan (good thing one was nearby) and a crashpad (same as before) and hits the Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to smash Kane’s face. That’s still not enough to wrap things up as Kane pulls Shane into the ambulance with him for more brawling. It’s Kane throwing Shane out though and then ramming him back first into the side. He javelins Shane’s head into the other side (you have to match you see) and a Tombstone on the floor is enough for the win.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as I was expecting but again, this doesn’t really do what they were likely shooting for with Kane. It makes two straight matches where Kane has had trouble beating up Shane McMahon. He can destroy Rob Van Dam but Shane gives him trouble? It didn’t work last time and it doesn’t work here. Now that he’s lost all of his heat though, you can pencil him in for a World Title match.

Brock Lesnar says he didn’t lose that match because his team lost it instead. Goldberg comes in for a staredown but Lesnar won’t wish him luck tonight. And so it begins.

Here’s the Coach, in a neck brace, for a chat. He assures his fans that he’s fine after the 3D from the Dudleys on Monday and he’ll be good to go soon. That seems to be it but hang on a second as Coach sees Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. Cuban is ready to see Austin’s team win and insults referees of all kinds (he’s known for heavy criticisms of NBA referees). This brings out Eric Bischoff to invite Cuban into the ring, where a fight breaks out. Bischoff gets shoved down but here’s Randy Orton for an RKO to complete this waste of time.

Evolution is having a party with HHH in the middle of a good looking bunch of women. Ric Flair comes in to say they can have the champ later, which annoys HHH. Orton comes in, hits on the women, and brags about what he just did. Uh, congratulations?

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are defending after Eddie won a handicap match to earn the shot. Eddie and Chavo waste no time in slugging away until Shaniqua offers a distraction to slow things down. That doesn’t seem to matter much to the cousins as Eddie works over Danny to start things off. A dropkick gives Chavo two and there’s a headscissors/armdrag combination from Eddie to put both champs down.

Some double teaming (described by Cole as “classic Bashams”) takes over though and Shaniqua gets in a slam on Eddie for good measure. Back in and Eddie gets stomped in the corner, followed by a double vertical suplex for two. Eddie gets free with a headscissors and hands it back to Chavo, who is double flapjacked in short order. Chavo fights up but Twin Magic takes him down again. Everything breaks down and Chavo slams Shaniqua, followed by a quick spanking. That’s NOT cool with the champs so Doug grabs a rollup with Chavo’s tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here with Los Guerreros coming up short again as we get closer to their inevitable split. The Bashams aren’t a great team (though they have apparently have a classic period) but they’re serviceable for something like this. Get rid of the dominatrix stuff though as it’s not working, isn’t funny and makes Shaniqua look like the important part of the team, which misses the point entirely.

Replays show Chavo kicking Eddie down by mistake, meaning this is far from over.

JR doesn’t think Austin can handle this trusting people stuff and has never seen Austin this angry.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They’re running the show together but Austin isn’t allowed to attack people at will anymore. On top of that, a lot of people are accusing him of ruining the show through his various antics. That doesn’t sit well with Austin, so it’s time for a winner take all match with the winner getting to run Raw on their own. The idea is Austin has to trust people, which goes against everything he believes in.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Dudley Boyz, Booker T., Rob Van Dam

Bischoff: Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Christian, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton

Coach, Stacy Keibler and the two team captains are at ringside. The fans want tables to start but have to settle with D-Von and Christian instead. D-Von shoulders him down to start but gets slapped in the face, triggering a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s not a nice response. Van Dam comes in for some forearms to the face and a kick to the jaw gets the same. It’s off to Jericho for some more luck, followed by Steiner whipping Van Dam hard into the corner to set up some posing.

Van Dam’s comeback is cut off by a belly to belly superplex but he’s able to get over to Booker for the hot tag. Things speed way up in a hurry and the scissors kick into the Spinarooni makes Bischoff face palm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Steiner hits Booker low. The Recliner goes on but Stacy offers a distraction, setting up a reverse 3D. A Bookend is enough to get rid of Steiner and make it 5-4.

The World’s Strongest Slam gets rid of Booker a few seconds later to tie it right back up. Bubba comes in to try his luck and is sent hard into the corner. D-Von’s help doesn’t make things much better as the Dudleys are rammed together. Mark misses a charge though and it’s a 3D into the Five Star for the elimination. It’s off to Orton for a hard clothesline on Van Dam but Rob scores with a kick. Another Five Star is loaded up but Jericho makes a save, setting up the RKO to tie things up at three each. Jericho comes in and missile dropkicks D-Von down as JR and King wonder how things will go tomorrow night.

D-Von shoulders Jericho down for no count as Christian has the referee, setting up the sleeper drop for another elimination. This match is already better paced than the opener and here’s Shawn to pick things up all over again. Shawn pounds on Jericho in the corner and catches an invading Christian without much effort. Orton gets in a dropkick but stays down anyway as I guess he didn’t hit all of it. A double tag brings in Christian and Bubba with a backdrop getting two on the Canadian.

Jericho runs Christian over by mistake but a low blow sets up the Unprettier to get rid of Bubba. We’re down to Shawn vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Austin is starting to see how much trouble he’s in. Shawn punches away at Christian to start but some good old fashioned double teaming has Shawn in trouble again. Like there’s any other way this should go. Shawn is taken outside and catapulted into the post (you can see him blade on the wide shot) to bust open a GUSHER.

That and a suplex are only good for two back inside and Christian even steals his pose. Jerry: “That was a creepy little pose right there.” The Unprettier is broken up and a quick Sweet Chin Music gets rid of Christian. A frustrated Jericho comes in and gets two off a clothesline before handing it back to Orton. Shawn gets in a belly to back suplex but Jericho comes back in to take over again. As usual, JR is perfect at calling this kind of a story and Shawn getting two off a DDT has Jerry trying as hard as he can to believe in Shawn.

The Lionsault hits knees and Shawn pulls himself up but gets pulled into a Walls attempt. That’s reversed into a quick small package to get rid of Jericho and make it one on one (Lawler: “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!”). Jericho isn’t gone yet though and caves Shawn’s head in with a chair shot. Why that isn’t a DQ on Orton isn’t clear but Shawn is done as Orton comes back in.

That’s only good for two and you can see the sigh of relief from Austin. Orton’s high crossbody hits the referee and here’s Bischoff to break up Sweet Chin Music. That’s too much for Austin so it’s a Stunner to Orton but he makes the mistake of beating on Bischoff a bit too much. They go up the aisle and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin.

Rating: B+. I love this match and always have. It doesn’t really pick up until Shawn is on his own but that’s what he’s done best throughout his entire career. He knows how to play the underdog better than anyone I’ve ever seen and you really can get behind the Lawler mindset of trying to believe here. As usual, Shawn is great in this role and it’s never too far to believe that he could pull this off (quick superkick, small package for two eliminations). Great stuff, but you might want to skip the first few minutes.

Austin is stunned at the loss because he placed his career in someone else’s hands and was let down. The bloody Shawn can barely stand and Austin congratulates him for giving it everything he had. Austin grabs the mic and talks about starting here in Dallas and going out here as well. Coach comes out to laugh and gets beaten up one more time with security getting the same treatment. Beer is consumed as a final goodbye. You know, assuming you believe that he’s gone for good this time.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker wants the title one more time but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy. Therefore Undertaker wanted a Buried Alive match here, because that’s where you go from here. Vince then went into this weird spiritual thing, which really didn’t work or accomplish much.

Tazz’s key for Vince’s victory: AVOID THE HOLE! Good advice.

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Buried Alive and Vince drops to a knee in prayer before the match. Undertaker punches him down to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Vince is already bleeding less than thirty seconds in as this is going to be one sided for a long time. The beating continues until Undertaker crotches him on the post to switch things up a bit. More low blows keep Vince in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor with Undertaker choking with a cord. Completely one sided so far, as you probably guessed.

Cole and Tazz try to explain the idea of Vince being punished for his sins, which I’m guessing are mainly about Stephanie. I mean, almost everything else is. Vince is thrown over the announcers’ table and it’s time to go to the grave. Well just Undertaker at this point and he comes back with a shovel. One heck of a shot to the head rocks Vince again and Cole declares it over. So much for Undertaker’s hot streak.

Vince’s ankle gets crushed by the steps and NOW it’s time to head to the grave. Vince finally throws some dirt in the eyes (his first “offense”) and a low blow keeps Undertaker in trouble. A shovel to the head puts Undertaker in the grave….for a few seconds. He pulls Vince in and goes to the front loader to drop the dirt but gets cut off by lightning. Cue Kane to beat up Undertaker and bury him (again) to give Vince the win.

Rating: D-. So yeah LOLVINCEWINS because of course he does. There was nothing to see here unless you like Undertaker destroying people and then having a surprise ending. The announcers treated this like Undertaker’s last match, because if there’s one thing Undertaker is known for, it’s going away for good. It’s more of a match than an angle, and there’s no way that’s how Undertaker is going out. Bad match but moderately entertaining beatdown.

Cole and Tazz are SHOCKED.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Goldberg won the title last month so HHH put a $100,000 bounty on his head. Batista returned and collected by breaking Goldberg’s ankle so tonight it’s about revenge and the title. There’s not much of a reason for this to main event but would you expect much else? Well save for Vince maybe?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle. HHH is looking as out of shape as I’ve seen him in years, probably due to his bad groin injury. Hang on a second though as Goldberg has to quickly dispatch Flair to make it a little more fair. They head outside in short order with Goldberg hammering away but the ankle gives out on a gorilla press attempt.

A chop block takes Goldberg down and we hit the meat of the match. Flair is back up as HHH sends Goldberg outside, meaning a distraction sets up a chair to Goldberg’s ankle. There’s another chop block back inside and the slow leg work continues with Flair getting in a few shots of his own. A knee drop keeps the ankle in trouble and we hit a half crab. At least he knows his low level submissions.

Goldberg grabs the rope and fires off some right hands to little avail. A limping clothesline works a bit better as Flair is beside himself. HHH takes him down again and calls for a Figure Four, only to be kicked into the referee. That means brass knuckles for a very near fall and HHH beats up the referee again. The sledgehammer is brought down but Goldberg kicks him down with the bad ankle.

Flair’s latest attempt at interfering gets him slammed off the top (JR: “It hasn’t worked in thirty years.”) and Goldberg grabs the hammer. A shot to the ribs drops Flair and an invading Batista and Orton are quickly dispatched as well. The Pedigree is blocked and Goldberg picks up the hammer again but throws it down. Instead it’s a spear and Jackhammer to retain the title like a real man.

Rating: D+. Well if you’re a fan of HHH working the ankle, have fun. Goldberg looks strong, but there have been so many other big matches tonight that this isn’t the strongest way to end things. I’ll give them points for giving Goldberg a push, but you’re crazy if you think HHH isn’t getting the title back within the next month. Just a messy brawl, but it could have been much worse. At least HHH didn’t need fifteen minutes of working the leg.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some good and bad stuff on this show but the bad wins out in the end. Between the weak main event, not great opener and pretty terrible Vince vs. Undertaker match, there’s not enough to put with Shawn’s amazing performance. This was better than I was expecting though and that’s a nice relief. Both shows need something fresh on top and it actually seems to be happening on Smackdown. I’ll take one out of two, especially at this point in time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 5, 2004
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re less than two weeks away from Backlash and things are already starting to come together. It’s a rare case of the Raw crew being miles ahead of their Smackdown brethren as the combined forces of Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and Shelton Benjamin fight Evolution. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shelton beating HHH. Still a very nice surprise.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH (with his music only starting halfway down the ramp) to open things up. He’s not happy with some young punk coming over from Smackdown and thinking he can get in the ring with the greatest wrestler alive today. Then the guy (HHH won’t say his name) actually WINS and gets his hand raised. It was just a fluke though and it’s not happening again in a million years.

Just like Chris Benoit beating HHH again in a rematch of the greatest main event in Wrestlemania history. See, this time Benoit is in the same place that HHH was in before: he doesn’t even have to get beaten to lose the title. The odds are stacked so high against Benoit in the first place but when you consider that both triple threat matches include HHH, it’s just impossible.

Cue Shelton Benjamin to brag about winning, much to HHH’s annoyance. Shelton actually challenges him to a rematch tonight but HHH doesn’t sound impressed. He turns the rematch down but it’s him doing a favor for Shelton. No one beats HHH. Shelton: “Correction: I did.” That’s enough for HHH to accept the rematch for tonight. HHH: “It’s going to be the greatest wrestler in the world vs…..what the h*** ever your name is.” Shelton laughs it off because after tonight, HHH can call him Mr. Benjamin. Longer than necessary (as always with HHH) but the no name thing was great and Shelton sounded good.

Video on the recent trip to Mexico.

Chris Benoit vs. Rob Conway

Non-title. Hang on though as Johnny Nitro (now coming out to the old Nitro theme song for a little flashback) is guest referee again, despite his arm being in a sling. Benoit goes straight to the chops but stops to yell at Nitro. Sylvan Grenier grabs the champ’s foot and Conway rakes the eyes. A snap suplex gets two and it’s off to a neck crank.

Benoit powers out and throws more chops, followed by a backbreaker for two. A snap suplex to Conway takes out Nitro so La Resistance comes in for what would eventually become known as the Magic Killer, which gets two from a replacement referee (who apparently saw the bump but not the interference). The Crossface makes Conway tap.

Rating: C-. Conway’s time on offense wasn’t the best but Benoit didn’t have much trouble and beat up a team who wasn’t exactly intimidating in the first place. Nitro makes for a nice little pest and hopefully they leave it at that instead of going with Benoit vs. Bischoff in the same old story.

The returning William Regal comes in to see Bischoff but Eric isn’t sure he can have a job. After a discussion of Regal joining Vince’s club, Bischoff says he’s brought Regal here to manage a special talent. He’s in his 20s, 6’1 and 240lbs and a very “special” talent. His name is Eugene Dinsmore, and Regal thankfully agrees.

Chris Jericho vs. Matt Hardy

Matt has broken his nose three times and never over-orders in restaurants. Trish Stratus and Christian bring a chair to the stage and watch the match, allowing Matt to get in a cheap shot from behind to start. An elbow to the back sets up Matt pulling on both of Jericho’s arms but Jericho scores with the running bulldog. The Lionsault misses and the Walls are broken up so Jericho hits the running enziguri instead. Now the Walls are enough to make Matt tap.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here but it gives Jericho a win for the sake of some momentum, which he really needs after everything that’s happened to him in recent weeks. Matt’s losing streak continues because that’s his lot in life for some reason. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere, but this wasn’t really supposed to be competitive.

Christian kisses Trish to mess with Jericho some more.

Mick Foley is sitting in a rocking chair with a box over his lap and a flower in his hand. As he smells the flower, he talks about never forgetting your first time. During his career, he would pick up a few during the week, use them for a few days, and hand them off to a lucky fan. He means the flannel shirts of course, and he got his first one in 1977. The other day he found the original one, and that brought him back to the hardcore state of mind.

Hardcore isn’t about chairs or trashcans, but about being willing to put himself through unimaginable pain for the sake of the fans. When he went to Japan and took part in some barbaric matches, he did what he had to do for the sake of paying the bills. Foley has sworn that he would never do that again or even watch the matches, but now he’s seen them all fresh. He did some inhumane things but they didn’t catch his eyes.

No it was his eyes that caught his eye because deep down, maybe there was a little part of him that didn’t mind hurting people like that. Maybe deep down he loves it. Foley did those things to people he didn’t hate so what is he going to do to someone like Orton, who has done so many things to him?

Everyone promises to hurt someone, but that’s not what Foley is going to do to Orton. He’s going to use one of his old friends named Barbie (which he takes out of the box) and use it to cave Orton’s skull in, drawing the kind of blood usually reserved for special effects in Mel Gibson Biblical epics. Foley uses Barbie to break the set and promises to love it. This was the Foley that we’ve been needing to see and you believe every word he said.

Orton watches this and is as scared as he should be. Flair’s pep talk doesn’t work this time, nor does HHH talking about beating Shelton.

Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Before the match, Flair is in the ring and demands his own introduction. According to Bischoff, anyone out here must be on official business. Therefore, Flair is your announcer, Batista is timekeeper, and Orton is the official trainer (complete with stool and spit bucket). JR: “This is starting to reek like nine week old cheese.” HHH is all annoyed and punches him into the corner to start.

A crossbody gives Shelton two so JR lists off all of his college accolades. HHH cuts him off with a spinebuster and throws Shelton outside for a drop onto the barricade from Batista. Back in and Shelton scores with some right hands until a facebuster cuts him off again. HHH shouts a lot but charges into a raised boot as Lawler is starting to get a little nervous. The Stinger Splash (which finished HHH last week) sends HHH outside with Shelton catapulting HHH into the post for the countout win.

Rating: D. The wrestling was nothing but that’s not the point here. Shelton gets another win over HHH and even defeats the forces of Evolution to pull it off. He already has the pinfall win so while the countout wasn’t as impressive, it’s a huge relief to have HHH lose again instead of getting his win back. I’m not sure how smart it is to do this before he’s main eventing a pay per view, but this could be more important in the long term.

Post match the Evolution beatdown is on with Shelton being busted open. Benoit, Michaels and Foley (with Barbie) make the save.

After a break, Bischoff storms the commentary booth and says Shelton is going to the hospital. Benoit, Michaels and Foley are getting yelled at later.

Battle Royal

Lita, Jazz, Nidia, Molly Holly, Stacy Keibler, Gail Kim, Trish Stratus

The winner gets a title shot at Backlash. We’re joined in progress…with just Trish, Lita and Jazz left. Really? Like….REALLY? You can’t even keep them around until we’re back from a break? Not even two more of them or something? Anyway, Jazz is eliminated ten seconds later and it’s down to two. They circle each other and we look back at the eliminations, making me wonder why in the world they did it this way. Lita swats away a handshake attempt and slaps her in the face, only to get caught in a fireman’s carry.

That goes nowhere so here’s Jericho to cheer for Lita. You know, the other person involved in his bet with Christian. Trish hangs on as Lawler is worried about her damaged pectoral muscles. Jericho trips Trish though and Lita dropkicks her out (through the bottom two ropes) for the title shot.

Rating: F. Sweet goodness what’s the point? No really, I’d love an explanation of why this was a seven woman battle royal when about three seconds of the four and a half minutes that we saw had more than two people involved. Just do a triple threat match or something but don’t do this, which was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen them air match wise.

Smackdown rebound, looking at the Great American Award Nominee matches.

Regal finds Eugene and let’s just get this over with. Eugene is of course mentally handicapped (you know the word they’re likely going to skirt around) and can barely say anything besides his own name. He does have a nametag saying “Hello, my name is Eugene.” Regal gets a hug and Eugene says “manager”. Regal calls Bischoff a dirty rotten swine.

Coach comes out to commentary to show Tajiri misting him last week.

Christian tells Trish that the match against Jericho at Backlash is actually a handicap match. Trish is NOT happy.

Christian vs. Tajiri

Coach is on commentary. Christian shrugs off some early kicks and it’s already time for Coach to come to the ring. Back up and Tajiri hits the handspring elbow, followed by the Tarantula. The Unprettier is broken up with another kick but Coach breaks up the Buzzsaw kick with a trip. Now the Unprettier connects to give Christian the fast pin.

Backlash rundown.

Regal leaves Eugene outside of Bischoff’s office before going inside to say Bischoff can’t put him with that window licker. Bischoff freaks out because Eugene has been left alone (like he was when Regal found him) and of course he’s gone. Eugene is now on commentary with Lawler saying “special” over and over. Lawler says Eugene’s gear is wacky so Eugene starts walking around like the Bushwhackers and licks Jerry. Regal comes in for the save and gets rid of Eugene, as this is already looking bad.

Kane vs. Rhyno

Rhyno gets jumped before the bell and Kane wraps his arm around the post. Back up and Rhyno slugs away, followed by a flying shoulder which breaks the middle rope. That always looks cool. The Gore gets two but Kane pops up with a big boot and the chokeslam for the pin. I wonder if the broken rope made that one shorter.

Post match here’s Edge, with a cast on his hand, for the brawl. Kane gets the better of it but goes for a chair, allowing Edge to lay him out with a cast shot.

Benoit and Michaels don’t think much of Bischoff’s orders to meet him in the ring. Last week’s near title win was awesome so Shawn has his back anytime. Until Backlash that is. Foley comes in and says they’re united tonight. Johnny Nitro shows up and makes Foley put the bat down. If anything happens to it, Nitro is responsible. Benoit hits Nitro in the bad arm.

Here’s Bischoff for the big show closing yelling. Benoit, Michaels and Foley come in and Bischoff makes an eight man tag with the three of them teaming up to face Evolution next week. Evolution’s music plays and they try to come in from behind so the fight can be on. HHH sledgehammers Shawn in the back and chairs Benoit down. A Pedigree onto the chair plants Benoit and Evolution stands tall with HHH holding the title up to end the show. Nice segment here and it’s going to make Shelton look all the more important when he’s there to even the odds next week.

Overall Rating: C+. They’re actually going somewhere at the moment and that’s a lot more than I was expecting. Benjamin is starting to get a push and putting him in the main event with that level of talent is a good sign for him. Jericho and Christian are still going pretty strong and we’ll see what can come out of the Edge vs. Kane stuff. Some of the stuff isn’t all that great, but there’s clearly a point to most of the stuff (even Coach vs. Tajiri is a story) and that’s WAY better than some the stuff this company was doing just a year or so ago.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 2004
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Things are staying hot around here with the second annual Draft (called a Lottery this year), meaning people are going to be changing shows. Tonight everyone from both rosters are here and they have a chance to go from Raw to Smackdown or vice versa. This could be anywhere between really interesting and a big waste of time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The locker rooms are assembled, of course in their matching show shirts because UNITY!

Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman (in a neck brace thanks to an Undertaker Tombstone) are glaring at each other when Vince McMahon comes in to explain the concept: there will be a tumbler for each roster with six picks from either show. At the end of the night, there can be trades until midnight. Bischoff asks about champions and Vince says EVERYONE is eligible, including Randy Orton, who isn’t here tonight.

Opening sequence.

The GM’s come out for their first picks but Heyman has to give a speech about being attacked on Smackdown. He’ll deal with Undertaker on Thursday, but it’s time for the first pick: Rene Dupree.

After a quick photo op, Dupree comes to the ring to say he doesn’t want his last moment on Raw to be taking a beating from Steve Austin. Therefore, let’s have a match right now.

Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree shoves him into the corner for a slap but gets taken down and smacked in the face over and over. The Walls don’t work so Jericho settles for the springboard dropkick off the apron. Back in and Jericho dropkicks him out of the air, setting up the French Tickler. Dupree tries it twice for some reason and Jericho rolls him up (with trunks) for two. Jericho hits a running crotch attack to the back and the step up enziguri is good for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point is in having your first draft pick lose clean in a short match but then again I’m not sure what the point is in having Rene Dupree as the first pick. The new aggressive Jericho is good and him winning like this would have made sense on any other night, but here it’s kind of questionable.

Post match Dupree yells a lot more so here’s Austin for a Stunner to send him to Smackdown. Beer is consumed.

Bischoff, after insulting Smackdown, makes his first pick to Raw: Shelton Benjamin. I’m still not sure why that team only got two Tag Team Title reigns and both of them in 2003.

Rico is in the ring for a match but it’s not Shelton coming out to face him.

Kane vs. Rico

Chokeslam in about twenty seconds.

Post match Kane makes it clear: he does NOT want to be on the same show as Undertaker. Kane leaves so Heyman makes his next pick: Mark Jindrak.

After a break, Bischoff’s pick is Nidia. This draft has been….interesting so far. Nidia’s graphic bio includes her measurements because what else could it be? Nidia comes out and takes off her Smackdown top to replace it with the Raw one.

It’s Heyman’s turn but here’s John Cena to interrupt again to a rather nice reaction. Cena says Heyman is wearing the neck brace because he’s blowing the whole lottery. Both shows want him but this isn’t a junior high dance so keep your pants on. Cena makes the next pick and hands Heyman one ball, though he still has no…..you can figure that out. Heyman and Bischoff argue over whether or not this counts but Bischoff insists. The pick is HHH, who does a spit take in the locker room. It’s about time we got a big name. The Raw locker room singes the Goodbye Song in a funny bit.

Christian vs. Spike Dudley

Spike charges to the ring and hits the running headbutt to the ribs. Some right hands in the corner draw Trish up to the apron for a distraction, allowing Christian to take over. Spike reverses a slam into a DDT and hits a big dive off the top to the floor. Back in and a top rope double stomp gives Spike two more but he gets sent into the post. The Unprettier gives Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world as Spike was trying. There was no way that Christian was losing this soon though, especially when you have him facing Spike Dudley. They’re going to keep a lot of the matches short tonight though and that’s the right call, especially given how big tonight is. Spike was trying though and that’s not exactly a surprise.

A distressed Bischoff is ready to make his next pick but leaves to find Vince. Post break Vince says nothing can be done but Heyman comes in with an idea: tonight we have Eddie Guerrero defend the WWE Title against HHH. That’s the kind of thing Vince would do so he’s down with the idea.

Back in the arena, Bischoff picks Rhyno and gives him a shot at Chris Benoit tonight.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Evolution vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Ric Flair and Batista are challenging. Booker dropkicks Flair to start but gets chopped down, allowing the double tags to bring in Batista and Van Dam. That lasts all of ten seconds before it’s back to Booker, who is driven into the wrong corner. Flair comes back in and gets punched into a Flair Flop, followed by the required backdrop. A poke to the eye and more chops have Booker in trouble but he scores with a kick to the face.

Van Dam tags himself in and hits the fastest Five Star I’ve ever seen but Batista makes the save as we take a break. Back with Booker fighting out of a chinlock as they’re not exactly having people stay in the ring for very long. A Hart Attack with Van Dam coming in off the top with a kick to the face instead of a clothesline gets two on Batista. Flair chop blocks Van Dam down though and the champs are in trouble again. A few kicks to the leg set up the Figure Four but Van Dam is pretty close to the ropes.

Rob gets up and hits a spinwheel kick (with very little elevation due to the leg) to Flair’s arm (called the nose by JR), allowing the hot tag off to Booker. The Book End drops Batista and we hit the Spinarooni. An ax kick gets two with Flair making the save so Rob gives him Rolling Thunder. Rob tries to break up the Batista Bomb but kicks Booker by mistake, setting up the Batista Bomb to give us new champions.

Rating: D+. Is it any wonder that Booker and Van Dam are forgotten champions? They won the titles, held them for about a month, and lost them back to the same team. Now the question is whether Booker or Van Dam go to Smackdown, though both of them would benefit from the move. Evolution getting the titles back is hardly thrilling, but it’s not like any of the other teams are worth anything at the moment.

Heyman makes his next pick and it’s….Rob Van Dam. So there’s your answer to the previous question. For some reason Van Dam’s bio includes being an ECW Tag Team Champion but not the ECW TV Champion.

Booker and Van Dam promise to get the belts back because they have a rematch clause. Coach comes in to say no rematch because Van Dam is going to Smackdown. This is news to Van Dam and Booker isn’t happy.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Benoit is defending and comes out wearing the title, I believe for the first time. They chops it out to start and Benoit runs him over with a hard elbow. An Alley Oop onto the top turnbuckle gets Rhyno out of trouble and he puts on a pretty good looking Sharpshooter. Benoit makes the rope and can’t get a Sharpshooter of his own. Instead he settles for the rolling German suplexes to set up the Swan Dive but Rhyno plants him with a spinebuster. The Gore is reversed into the Crossface though and Rhyno taps.

Rating: C-. Totally watchable match and there’s nothing wrong with giving Benoit a short win on a big show. Benoit is still getting established as champion and wins like this, where he Crossfaces anyone he faces, are going to help him. It’s not like Rhyno loses anything by tapping out here so everything is fine.

Shawn Michaels comes up to Bischoff and demands a trade to Smackdown so he can fight HHH. Instead, Bischoff gives him a title shot at Backlash, assuming he and Benoit stay on Raw. That’s cool with Shawn, likely along with several other people.

Bischoff gets another pick: Tajiri.

Heyman goes next and gets Theodore Long. Jazz is happy to see him go because he never made her any money anyway.

We keep going as Bischoff picks Edge. It’s about time Raw got someone big.

Smackdown’s last pick is Spike Dudley.

We’ll wrap it up with the final Raw pick, which is….Paul Heyman himself. Heyman panics and Bischoff makes it worse by suggesting that Heyman can wash his car. That’s a big negative though as Heyman refuses to come work for Bischoff and quits instead. Bischoff goes to the ring to celebrate but here’s the returning Edge (to a BIG reaction) to spear him down.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. HHH

Eddie is defending and HHH is still in his Raw shirt….which he tears off to reveal a Smackdown shirt. The early handshake offer is switched into Eddie telling HHH what he can kiss so HHH takes him into the corner. A hiptoss gets Eddie out of trouble and it’s an armdrag into an armbar on the arm that was in a sling last week. The rope gets HHH out of trouble and he heads outside, only to have Eddie ram the arm into the steps. Back in and the jumping knee cuts Eddie off and we take a break.

We come back with HHH whipping him into the steps and various other objects to work on Eddie’s back. A pair of hard whips into the corner stays on the back and a backbreaker plants Eddie again. HHH slaps on the abdominal stretch but gets caught grabbing the ropes. Smackdown referees don’t go for cheating like that. Eddie fights up and gets two off a tornado DDT but the facebuster gives HHH the same.

The Pedigree is countered into a catapult into the corner and Eddie hits the Three Amigos (FINALLY dubbed that by Tazz). Cue Flair and Batista though as JR and King suddenly take over on commentary. Batista hands HHH the title but here are Mysterio and Cena to even things up a bit. The distracted referee misses Shawn Michaels running in with Sweet Chin Music on HHH. Eddie goes up for the frog splash but Christian of all people shoves him off for the DQ.

Rating: B. This is more of a curiosity than anything else but it turned out to be a heck of a match. When you get rid of all the Evolution shenanigans (and HHH winning), you can actually get a very good performance from HHH. Eddie is of course golden right now and they made me believe a title change was possible. Good match, which this show needed.

The locker rooms empty out and it’s a big brawl. Kane and Big Show come out very late but here’s Austin on the ATV to bring out more Raw guys and beat up some goons to end the show. Cool moment, though I doubt it leads anywhere save for maybe a quick bit on Smackdown.

The final Draft moves:

To Raw

1. Shelton Benjamin

2. Nidia

3. Rhyno

4. Tajiri

5. Edge

6. Paul Heyman

To Smackdown

1. Rene Dupree

2. Mark Jindrak

3. HHH

4. Rob Van Dam

5. Theodore Long

6. Spike Dudley

Overall Rating: C. Aside from the main event this wasn’t much of a wrestling show, but at least we got a good main event and some interesting changes. The midcards of both shows need some upgrades so switching things up is a good idea. Now just do something new with those names and maybe we can go somewhere this summer.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 15, 2004
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,148
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the season premiere as we’re past Wrestlemania XX and Chris Benoit is the Raw World Champion. That should open up some fresh doors, but a rematch with HHH is the most likely way to go. It’s time to start getting ready for Backlash, and that could mean a few different things. Let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s HHH (you can’t make up jokes like this) with his arm in a sling and anger levels higher than normal. He can’t even speak and a BENOIT chant makes it even worse. HHH finally manages to talk, saying that one match doesn’t make someone the best. Putting a belt around your waist one time doesn’t mean a thing. It’s about defending the title night after night, month after month. That’s what makes you the best.

HHH has beaten them all every single night, which is why he woke up this morning. Yeah he tapped out and maybe that can make the fans happy. Last night was 2-1 and it took both of them to beat him. That’s how he knew he was still the best when he looked in the mirror. He’s not done with Chris Benoit, because Benoit is the new target. When the arm heals, he’s coming for Benoit, but here’s the new champ to interrupt.

Benoit beat both Shawn Michaels and HHH last night to earn this title. When the arm gets better, HHH can bring on his rematch because Benoit will make him tap over and over. HHH says not on Benoit’s best day, so Benoit hits with the belt to send HHH running. Evolution comes in and Shawn makes the save. Sounds tag matchish. Cue Eric Bischoff to make the 3-2 handicap main event but also to say that Vince McMahon is here for a huge announcement. Good opening though, as Benoit looks like a star and HHH finally gives something up.

Post break Shawn says he made the save because he wants Benoit healthy for a future title shot. Makes some sense, but wouldn’t it make more to have Benoit take a beating and then make the save?

Victoria/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Molly already has the wig on, now sporting hair down to her elbows. The chin strap doesn’t hide much either. It’s a brawl to start with Molly rubbing Victoria’s face in the mat and Jazz coming in for a legdrop. The fans chant MOLLY’S BALD as Victoria comes back with a middle rope moonsault to take Jazz down. It’s already off to Lita for some running clotheslines and a headscissors. Molly kicks her in the back though and there goes the wig, revealing a very round bald head. That sends her running, leaving Lita to DDT Jazz for the pin.

Rating: D. This was nothing but the visual gag and they were smart enough to keep things moving. There isn’t much of a reason to go with some big new angle so soon after last night’s huge show so just go with some lighthearted fallout like this. If nothing else, points to Molly for shaving the whole thing off. Not many people would do that.

Stills of Chris Jericho vs. Christian with Trish Stratus turning on Jericho for reasons that will need to be explained. Evil Trish is always worth a look.

The ticked off Jericho won’t answer any questions.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

I feel bad for Matt, who is ridiculous underrated. Jericho is as aggressive as you would expect and clotheslines the heck out of Matt before choking away. A rake to the eyes allows Matt to hit a belly to back suplex. Jerry: “Maybe Jericho and Fozzy can redo the old Rolling Stones song: I can’t get no Stratusfaction.” Jericho throws him outside and chokes with an electrical cord for the DQ. That’s the best way to go here and Matt doesn’t even lose for once.

During the break, Jericho leaves without saying a word.

Randy Orton wants Mick Foley one on one. How will Foley feel about his son Huey growing up with Orton as a role model instead of his dad? Those are fighting words.

La Resistance is here, now with the returning Sylvan Grenier and Fifi the poodle. Steve Austin comes in to stare at Fifi and gives the French b**** a ticket. He means Rene Dupree, who isn’t happy and speaks French to show off the anger. If this is where Austin is now, he might as well leave now.

Val Venis vs. Kane

Before the match, a fan gets to remove Val Venis’ towel. She’s happy enough that she tries to flash Val but the pyro cuts her off. Side slam, top rope clothesline and chokeslam in about forty seconds.

Hall of Fame ceremony video.

Miss Jackie vs. Stacy Keibler

Jackie shoves her outside before the bell but gets kicked in the face as we actually start. Stacy chokes in the corner, only to get snapmared into a chinlock…and here’s Vince to stop the match because he has something more important to talk about.

Vince says it’s time to shake things up around here because people are getting too complacent. The fans want new superstars, new matches and new rivalries. Therefore, next week, the Smackdown superstars will be here next week for a good old fashioned lottery. Everyone from Steve Austin to Mick Foley vs. Kurt Angle to Eddie Guerrero will be in the lottery and even Vince’s relatives could be changing shows.

Post break Eric Bischoff isn’t sure what to think when Evolution comes in to say they can’t be split up. HHH demands that he stay on Raw but Bischoff says it’s out of his hands.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Van Dam and Booker are defending. Booker declines a handshake from Bubba in a bit of an out of character move. They fight over a lockup to start until Booker’s leapfrog is shoved away in what might have been a slight botch. D-Von comes in and gets clotheslined so it’s off to Van Dam for some kicks to the chest. Rob kicks Bubba down as well and brings Booker back in as the chemistry isn’t exactly flowing at the moment.

An elbow to the jaw gives Bubba….nothing as Rob made a blind tag and come in off the top with a stomp to the back. A suplex takes Booker down as the champs are wrestling as heels for some reason, despite being faces for their entire run now. It’s back to D-Von for some fast right hands and a neckbreaker gets two on Booker. Everything breaks down and the 3D hits Booker, with Van Dam making the last second save. It’s a very bad sign when one of the biggest finishers of all time gets no reaction.

Van Dam comes in and takes a running neckbreaker out of the corner to send him all the way outside. We actually take a break and come back with Van Dam hitting a spinwheel kick. Booker is still down on the floor though so Bubba comes in and smacks Van Dam in the head. Something like a brainbuster gets two and D-Von puts on a neck crank. A reverse chinlock from Bubba keeps this going because going twice as long as they should have just isn’t enough.

Rob finally kicks him away and gets over to Booker for the hot tag. Booker cleans house to very little reaction A spinebuster plants D-Von and there’s the Spinarooni. The scissors kick into the Five Star gets two on Bubba as D-Von makes the save. The Bubba Bomb is blocked and Booker hits the Book End to retain.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? I know some teams don’t have the best chemistry together but egads this felt like they were told to just go out there and fill in about twenty minutes no matter how bad it was. You don’t get to often say this but the match was about three times longer than it needed to be. If you cut this WAY down it might have been ok, but as it is it’s a long mess with the fans not caring in the slightest.

Video on last night’s show.

Spike Dudley comes out for a match but Christian and Trish Stratus jump him from behind. Christian hits an Unprettier on the floor and Trish makes a fast count. What a cheater. Christian introduces Trish for the big explanation, which starts with the big bet from Jericho (Christian’s participation is forgotten, as is Lita’s). Trish: “What kind of a cheap s*** do you think that I am anyway?”

It’s a shame that Chris’ night ended prematurely because she wound up screwing him instead. Well, actually screwing someone else. Christian insults New Jersey and says he won because he got the girl. Trish didn’t want someone who was bringing her flowers and candy because she was looking for something a little more rough. It’s Jericho’s fault that he won’t be getting any Stratusfaction. Kissing ensues.

La Resistance is panicking about being split but Dupree isn’t letting Austin get under his skin. Grenier will be here keeping Fifi company.

Here’s Dupree for a chat. There is a bad perception that the French are nothing but cowards. He raises the French flag to prove otherwise though and the Americans will learn that soon. A French rant brings out Austin to beat the heck out of Dupree without saying a word. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit

HHH is out with the trio. Batista clotheslines Shawn’s head off to start and it’s off to Flair for a little less success. Some chops and a backdrop have Flair in trouble and Benoit comes in to keep it going. One heck of an elbow drops Flair and a snap suplex has him screaming, which to be fair isn’t the hardest job in the world. Benoit gets taken into the corner for some forearms from Orton but you don’t keep a new World Champion down for very long. Instead it’s Shawn coming in and taking the backbreaker (you can keep old Shawn’s down pretty easily)….and we see Foley arriving in the back.

The referee gets bumped and everything breaks down with Evolution taking over due to the power of numbers. Cue Foley to hammer on Orton though and send him into the crowd. With the numbers even, Shawn forearms Flair and nips up for the top rope elbow. HHH comes in with a Pedigree to cut off Sweet Chin Music (so much for the arm) and Flair gets a delayed two. For reasons of pure stupidity and overconfidence, Flair goes up and comes right back down.

We settle back down to Batista hitting the spinebuster for two on Shawn and slapping on the chinlock. Flair comes in to drop a knee and Shawn is busted open again. He’s fine enough to roll Flair up for two but can’t follow up. For some reason Flair is down too, meaning the hot tag can bring in Benoit. The German suplexes start up in a hurry, followed by the Swan Dive for two on Batista, who powers out without much effort. HHH comes in again but a Pedigree to Benoit is broken up with some Sweet Chin Music. Another superkick drops Flair and Batista taps to the Sharpshooter.

Rating: C+. You can see where things are going from here, assuming nothing changes next week in the Lottery. Foley vs. Orton was pretty clearly not over yet and you could guess about Shawn and HHH going after Benoit even more. The match itself was fun, though I question having Batista take the fall when you have Flair available to give up instead.

Overall Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird show as nothing really happened this week (the Lottery announcement is big, but for next week). Instead it felt like a recharged version of the stories continuing, which was fine as a lot of them were advanced last night. That long tag match in the middle ruined things though and there was no coming back from it. The other problem is how everything changes next week, leaving a lot of this rather useless. Not a bad show, but you wouldn’t have guessed it was the post-Wrestlemania show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 23, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 14,752
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania is rapidly closing in on us and that means things are getting serious around here. In addition to the big main event story with Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Title being confirmed, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar is heating up for the interpromotional dream match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Benoit vs. Michaels last week and the announcement of the triple threat.

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria vs. Lita vs. Jazz

Molly is defending under elimination rules. After Lawler gets done putting his eyes back in over Victoria (fair enough), we’re ready to go. It’s a big brawl to start with Jazz lifting Victoria up in the double chickenwing. Lita’s snap DDT gets rid of Jazz in very short order and we’re down to three. Molly hits a handspring elbow on Victoria in the corner but gets caught in a quick jackknife cover to get us down to Victoria vs. Lita for the title. That’s not cool with Molly, who beats the heck out of Victoria after the fall.

We take a break and come back with Victoria grabbing a headlock takeover, which feels very odd two eliminations into a match. Lita comes up and gets two off a clothesline, only to be snapmared into a chinlock. They’re definitely going with a weird layout so far. Victoria misses the slingshot legdrop and Lita botches the counter to the spinning side slam. A reverse Twist of Fate gives Lita two and she sends Victoria throat first into the bottom rope. The moonsault takes too long though and the Widow’s Peak gives Victoria the title.

Rating: D. The first two eliminations were completely worthless and the rest of the match was a sloppy mess. They didn’t seem to know how to lay a match out and the botches didn’t do it any favors. Molly was fine for a champion but Victoria is a bigger star with a better character so the title change makes sense. That doesn’t make up for the bad match though.

Steven Richards comes out for the big celebration.

Vince McMahon arrives and tells the driver to get his wrestling gear out of the back.

Eric Bischoff isn’t happy about the main event but here’s Christian to interrupt. Christian is still trying to get a Tag Team Title match for himself and Chris Jericho. Bischoff rants on Jericho and gives Christian a match with Trish Stratus instead.

Randy Orton vs. Val Venis

Non-title. Orton goes aggressive to start and chokes Venis in the corner but a few chops put him on the floor. Venis is right after him and gets backdropped down to put Orton right back in control. Some knees to the back set up a knee to the back camel clutch as the fans want Foley. Orton mocks the BANG BANG and Venis kicks him in the head for taking too long. Venis grabs a cobra clutch slam and a spinebuster but can’t follow up. With Val going up top, Orton learns from his mentor and slams him off the top for the big crash. The RKO is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Orton is getting some stature here and the feud with Foley should only make that better. A win over a former Intercontinental Champion should help him out even more, which is all you can ask for her. Venis is a great choice for a jobber to the stars and thankfully they’ve cut out the old gimmick stuff save for the hip swivel.

We look back at Bischoff challenging Vince….from Nitro in 1998. That’s tonight’s main event, all in a way to plug the Monday Night War DVD, less than a month from Wrestlemania.

Bischoff is panicking over the video being played. As expected, it was Austin, who recaps Bischoff running his mouth off last week. Austin: “You’re the only man who has made out with Vince’s wife and made out with Vince’s daughter. And he still signs your paychecks!” Wrestling is a very strange place. Bischoff talks about a fantasy he has with Stephanie and Vince is right behind him. A lot of yelling ensues. Austin to Eric: “You’ve got him right where you want him.”

Evolution gives Batista a pep talk for his match with Benoit. First though, HHH has something to say.

Here’s Evolution so HHH can have a chat. HHH wasn’t happy with the announcement of the triple threat last week and it got to him a little bit. Then Ric Flair reminded him that he’s the best in the world today so there’s no reason to worry. He beats opponents one after another so this time he’ll beat two at once. It doesn’t matter who challenges him because he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

Cue Chris Benoit to say bring it on, which is exactly what HHH tells him to do. Benoit grabs a chair and gets in but the numbers advantage lets Batista jump him from behind. Shawn runs in for the save but Benoit puts him in the Crossface to make up for last week. Now it’s Austin to say let’s do Batista vs. Benoit right now.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Joined in progress with Benoit going after the leg but the Sharpshooter is blocked with pure power. Batista clotheslines the head out of him and grabs the bearhug, kneeling to make up for the size difference. The hold goes to the mat but since that doesn’t have the best effect, it’s off to a half crab instead. That doesn’t last long either so Batista blocks a Crossface attempt and blasts him with a clothesline. It’s kind of hard to block a German suplex though and Benoit rolls his way to four in a row. The Swan Dive misses but the Batista Bomb is countered into the Crossface (sweet) for the tap.

Rating: C. This was a rather impressive showcase of Benoit’s selling and ability to walk someone through a competent match. Batista is still very green at this level and while he’s getting better, he needs someone as good as Benoit to get him to a higher level. They’re making Benoit look great with this string of submissions (ignore the loss to Shawn of course) and he’s on a roll heading into Wrestlemania.

Austin gives Bischoff a pep talk, telling him to be the Bischoff that beat Raw for 83 weeks in a row. Bischoff has gotten more out of that than Jericho beating Austin and Rock in one night.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. La Resistance

Non-title. Rob and Rene start things off and it’s an early spinning kick to the face for two on Dupree. A Hart Attack with a side kick gives Booker two of his own but Conway breaks up the ax kick. The chinlock goes on as the announcers make jokes about French coffee. I’ll take it over French military jokes. Booker’s side kick isn’t enough to get him out of trouble so he sends the French guys into each other. That’s enough for the hot tag and everything breaks down with a Book End dropping Conway. The ax kick into the Five Star finishes Dupree.

Rating: D. Total formula tag match here as a way to make the new champs look good. It’s pretty clear that La Resistance’s time on top is over and that’s the best for everyone. They didn’t have the best longevity in the world and now that the anti-French stuff has died down, they can settle into the midcard role where they belong. Van Dam and Booker are fine until a better team comes along.

We see some pictures of Foley’s face after last week’s beating and it’s not pretty.

Trish comes in to see Christian, who agrees to lie down tonight….if she’ll lay down for him. He wasn’t serious though because that was the CLT: the Christian Love Test. All he was doing was seeing if she was loyal to Jericho and she passed with flying colors. Red and white I would assume.

Video on last week’s Orton vs. Foley segment with Foley taking a very hard beating. Apparently Foley told Orton to actually hit him for the sake of realism, which is something only Foley would actually do.

Over the weekend, Foley, with a very black eye, sat down with JR. He’s been in pain for most of his career because it comes with the territory. What he doesn’t understand is why his injuries have caused him this degree of neurological problems (I’m thinking the fists to the head have something to do with it) and for the first time, he’s scared. He’s not sure why he kept getting up last week but it was probably just instinct.

Foley thought it was only about thirty seconds when it was actually six minutes. What he wanted to know was where the help was. He thought he was a little more loved than that but maybe some people aren’t over him walking away back in December. He isn’t happy with what happened and Evolution can say they beat him down last week, but it’s not ok to have them say his career is over.

Foley is longing to be Commissioner Mick Foley again because he can’t laugh. Evolution doesn’t get to be the people who take that away and, as he stands up and starts yelling at JR, he promises to be at Raw next week to get his hands on Evolution. This started slowly and grew into one of those promos that Foley has mastered over the years. You could feel his emotion and I want to see where this goes.

Trish Stratus vs. Christian

Jericho isn’t here due to reaggrivating his knee. Christian lays down but kicks out at two, gropes her a bit, and slaps on the Walls to win in short order.

Christian takes his time letting go.

Post break Trish is helped to the back and can barely stand.

Coach tries to tell Bischoff to calm down but Bischoff isn’t scared. He’s gone head to head with Vince before and beat him at his own game. 83 weeks are mentioned again and he lists off all the stars he stole. Yet his company still somehow managed to go out of business.

Next week: Foley is back and Shawn/Benoit vs. Batista/Orton.

Vince comes out for the main event but before we’re ready to go, he has a Wrestlemania announcement. We’ll have to wait on that as here are Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to interrupt. They want to prove that they’re the hottest Divas on the grand stage of Wrestlemania XX. Vince wants the proof right here so dancing ensues. That’s cut off as an interpromotional evening gown match is made for Wrestlemania.

With that out of the way, here’s Kane to yell at Vince. Kane had been promised that Undertaker would die if he was buried but now he’s back. Vince tries to beg off but Kane won’t have it, saying that Undertaker is here again. Undertaker torments him day and night, so if Vince doesn’t do something about this, it’s his turn to be buried alive. Therefore, it’s Undertaker vs. Kane at Wrestlemania with Vince promising that someone will rest in peace.

That’s enough for Kane, so Vince wants to make his announcement. The fans chant for Goldberg as Vince talks about Brock Lesnar getting on his knees to beg for a match against Goldberg. Vince has thought about it and it would take someone special to control this kind of a match.

Cue Austin before any announcement can be made, sending Vince into a fit. Austin knows the people want to see Lesnar vs. Goldberg and since we need a guest referee, he’ll throw his hat into the mix. Vince wants to know what’s in it for Austin but that’s none of his business. The match is on, giving us our third match set in ten minutes. We’re finally ready for the main event, but Vince thinks Austin needs a tryout so he’s refereeing this match.

Vince McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

They stare each other down and Bischoff offers a handshake. Vince will have none of that (makes sense) and knees him in the ribs but Austin tells him to get off the ropes. Some kicks have no effect so Vince drives him into the corner. Austin breaks it up again and Bischoff kicks him down. That’s it for Bischoff’s offense as Vince takes it to the floor, only to have Lesnar sneak in with an F5 to Austin and the no contest to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think about this one actually. The wrestling was bad but they’ve done a good job of setting up the big matches for Wrestlemania with three matches being added in about ten minutes. I kind of like that rapid fire stuff as you knew some of the matches were coming so just announce them officially and get on to something else.

That being said, the Bischoff vs. McMahon stuff felt like it was out of last century and was thrown together here to sell DVDs. They kept it very short, but was there nothing else that could have gotten Austin and McMahon out to the ring? Not a good show on its own, but a good way to get things ready for Wrestlemania, which is what really matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 29, 2003
Location: SBC Arena, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re FINALLY done with this terrible year with one last show and, of course, it’s focused on HHH, who is defending the World Title against Shawn Michaels in Shawn’s hometown. This will set some stuff up for the Royal Rumble, which is in about four weeks and has barely been discussed yet. Such is life in WWE, which is rarely up for capitalizing on the extra time that they have. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap focuses on Mick Foley walking out on the show instead of fighting Randy Orton two weeks ago. This is treated like the most serious moment in years, which actually works instead of making it feel ridiculous.

Opening sequence.

We open with Mick Foley’s music….and Randy Orton coming out instead. Orton has been thinking about Foley over the holidays and knows that while Foley is a coward, he’s a smart coward. Foley knew what would happen if he got in the ring with Orton but we’re not quite done yet. Orton has Lillian Garcia come inside and announce him as the winner of the match and the NEW Hardcore Legend.

Cue Booker T. to say his New Year’s resolution is to win the Intercontinental Title tonight. That’s going to have to be delayed though as Mark Henry comes out and jumps Booker from behind, sending him into the set. Orton accepts the challenge for later tonight like a good villain should do.

Eric Bischoff stops Henry and Teddy Long to say that was a bad idea. They’re out of the building but Henry cashes in his Survivor Series favor to get to stick around. Instead, Henry can take the night off next week.

Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner

Somehow this is still fallout from Survivor Series. Steiner whips him hard into the corner and we hit the pose. That just earns him some spinwheel kicks and a standing moonsault, followed by the jumping kick to the face. A crotching brings Rob back down and a belly to belly superplex gets two. The spinning belly to belly gets the same, followed by the Push Up Elbow for two more. Rob is right back with a kick to the face, setting up Rolling Thunder and the split legged moonsault for two of his own. The top rope kick to the face sets up the Five Star to put Steiner away clean.

Rating: D+. Just a match here but it’s cool to see someone getting a clean pin like this. Raw needs faces near the top of the card and someone like RVD is as good as anyone else. They’ve never pulled the trigger on either of them and while there’s no reason to believe they’ll do it again here, at least we can get something to bridge the gap between Shawn and whomever is next.

Classic Shawn clip: Royal Rumble 1997. Not really a great match but the huge crowd makes up for it.

Chris Jericho and Christian argue over their friendship ending because of a GIRL. How dare Jericho?

Coach is in Stamford, Connecticut, where Vince and Linda McMahon will be arguing against and for Steve Austin’s return to Raw. We’re now to the point where the McMahons arguing is now one officially one of the biggest plot points on the show. At least it’s not just implied now. Vince comes in and says he’s pretty easily going to win because he owns the company. That’s kind of the line that sums up the last six years.

Video on Tribute to the Troops, including footage from the plane ride over.

Dudley Boyz vs. Eddie Craver/Russell Simpson

Ric Flair is guest referee for the purposes of a screwy finish. Before the match, the Dudleys say they can’t believe it, but Mick Foley turned into a coward last week. D-Von hiptosses and armdrags Craven to start as the fans already want tables. Bubba comes in and hits the Flip Flop and Fly…and that’s a DQ.

Post match Flair gets punched as well but Batista comes in for the save.

Classic Shawn clip: Summerslam 2002.

Bischoff tells the referees that he stands for law an order in a way to suck up to the Board of Directors.

Vince has given his speech and thinks it went moderately well. What he wanted to get through to the Board was that Austin’s time was great but you can’t live in the past. That kind of thing has no place in WWE. As for the million fans signing the petition, Vince gives them what they want at all times and thinks of them as children. You can’t just give them what they want all the time. So yes, Vince did just say he was terrible at dealing with the fans.

Trish Stratus, Lita and Stacy Keibler, all in sexy Santa outfits, imply that they had something special for Christmas. Before Lita can elaborate on that, Steve Austin nearly runs them over with his truck. He’s here to wait on a call from the Board as well.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Booker T.

Orton is defending. Booker drives him into the corner to start and we get a nice clean break. Must be the new refereeing initiative. A headlock doesn’t go very far so Booker takes him into the corner again and unloads with chops. Booker gets two off a kick to the face and a backslide is good for the same. Orton neckbreakers his way out of trouble and it’s time for the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Booker comes back with a spinwheel kick, which Lawler wants to be a DQ. JR: “For what?” This sends JR into a discussion of what kinds of kicks are illegal until Booker gets two off his forearm. We pause for a Spinrooni (Lawler: “That should be a disqualification for taunting your opponent!”) but here’s Kane for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit the RKO to retain.

Rating: D+. Orton going over bigger names like this is a good thing for his title reign as he doesn’t have the biggest resume yet. Kane vs. Booker is far from interesting but it’s better than nothing until Undertaker gets back for their next big match. Also it’s not like Booker has anything going on at the moment, save for being from Texas and odds are this is some form of punishment for wrestling in his home state.

Classic Shawn clip: Survivor Series 2002. I really wouldn’t point out that we’re still watching HHH vs. HBK while people like RVD, Booker, Kane and Jericho are still in the midcard/upper midcard spots they were in about a year ago.

Linda is ready for her speech and says she’s equally passionate about this business. They listen to the people and how can they ignore a million viewers?

Jericho gives Trish a Christmas present but she doesn’t think it’s going to make her forget what he’s done. She recaps everything that has gone on and says Jericho only thought she was worth 75 cents after the exchange rate. Trish got something out of this: a broken heart, which she explains in tears. She fell for Jericho and was the one who made the real mistake.

This was supposed to be some big emotional scene but it’s not quite as effective when she’s still in the Santa outfit. You couldn’t shoot this earlier and have her get changed? Oh of course not, as you just NEEDED that scene with Austin backing in earlier. Why is it so hard to figure out these details in advance to make things not look so stupid and unintentionally funny?

Speaking of so stupid, Austin’s phone rings but it’s not the Board. Just in case you didn’t get that he’s waiting and is impatient you see.

Victoria/Miss Jackie/Molly Holly vs. Stacy Keibler/Trish Stratus/Lita

They’re all in Santa outfits of various levels of revealing. In a moment that Jerry thankfully misses, Stacy does her slow entrance and Lita has a look before shrugging. Stacy misses a spinning kick to Victoria’s head and it’s off to Molly as we hear about Victoria becoming #1 contender. Lita comes in as they’re working a regular six person tag here instead of going for comedy, which is kind of nice given how bad the comedy versions become.

The fans want puppies but have to settle for Jackie breaking up Lita’s rollup on Molly. Victoria pulls Jackie to the floor and sends her into the barricade, leaving Molly to crank on Lita’s arms for a bit. A headscissors gets Lita out of trouble and it’s Trish coming in with a Thesz press and the Stratusphere. Stratusfaction is good for the pin.

Rating: D. They’re not exactly hiding the idea here but like I said, this could have been FAR worse if they had done something like a bad comedy idea or trying to do more of a theme. Trish getting back into the title scene is a little odd given how she has something of her own going on, but there’s always the chance that pinning the champion means nothing.

Post match Victoria shoves Molly down and holds up the title.

Austin gets the call and is officially back on Raw but doesn’t want to be co-General Manager. He hangs up and drives away.

Post break, we see the entire Austin segment again. It wasn’t that impactful but that’s never stopped WWE before.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending against the hometown boy and they have a ton of time here. They trade hammerlocks to start until Shawn headlocks him down. Back up and one heck of an elbow to the jaw slows Shawn down but he skins the cat to take HHH outside. A little strutting brings the crowd up even more and a plancha drops Flair and HHH again. Back in and the arm cranking begins with Shawn getting the better of it off an armdrag.

Shawn wins a slugout and the whip into the corner sends HHH flying over the top. That goes nowhere so they head back inside with HHH backdropping him to the floor in a big crash. Back from a break with HHH stomping in the corner and getting two off a backbreaker. HHH stays on the back (a popular idea for him) before sending Shawn outside and hard into the steps.

Shawn’s shoulder looks to be very messed up (with a noticeable bump that might be something out of place) but he’s still able to get two off a sunset flip. HHH slaps on an abdominal stretch before going even more Harley Race with a jumping knee to the face, which seems to hurt his own knee. Well to be fair Shawn’s face hurts me most of the time.

Naturally Shawn goes to the Figure Four, because there are no other leg holds in the world. Flair finally sneaks in for an eye rake and we’re back to even. The Pedigree is countered with a backdrop and Shawn falls head first into HHH’s crotch ala the old Sting spot. They chop it out with Shawn getting the better of it and forearming his way into the nip up. The fans are way into this as Shawn drops the big elbow but Flair’s distraction prevents Sweet Chin Music.

The referee gets bumped (of course) so Flair throws in the belt for a near fall. We get a second ref bump so here’s Bischoff as HHH takes off a turnbuckle pad. Of course HHH goes face first into the steel for no count until Bischoff comes in to count a fair two. HHH is busted open so some right hands get two. The facebuster gives HHH two more (again, at a fair pace) but Shawn scores with Sweet Chin Music for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: A. When these two have time to work and put something together, it’s some of the best chemistry around. Shawn knows how to make people believe in him and that’s what you got here in front of a crowd begging to see something historic. It’s not as good as their Summerslam match but the fans were into it the whole way and the work was the level that you would expect from Shawn and HHH when they were trying. HHH taking Shawn apart piece by piece was a good story with Shawn fighting back through heart and determination. It’s what got him here in the first place and they were both on fire here. Check this one out.

The big celebration is on but Bischoff announces HHH as still champion because all four shoulders were down. The footage shows that Bischoff is right so he gets a little cocky, sending Shawn into a rage. Flair tries to come in and eats a superkick, followed by a right hand to Bischoff. Shawn goes to leave but Bischoff fires him. Cue Austin though and since he’s now Sheriff Austin, Shawn is rehired and getting a rematch at some point. The Stunner to Bischoff ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. The main event carries this thing a long way but there was a lot to overcome. The stupid corporate stuff that they just love to do and everything being back to where it was before Survivor Series doesn’t help things. Also, are they allergic to getting ready for the Rumble? I don’t think it’s been mentioned once yet and they’re getting close to the show in a hurry. Anyway, great main event and pretty bad everything else but thirty minutes of outstanding more than carries things.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 22, 2003
Hosts: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

It’s the end of the year and thankfully that means we’re having a week off. This week it’s a Best Of 2003 special, which could be a rather short show. Unfortunately this is just a Best Of Raw show, meaning you’re going to be hearing a lot from HHH and a lot about the Eric Bischoff Era, which is still running strong. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Of note: I’ll be posting the full version of each match, even if the versions shown here are clipped.

Opening sequence.

Lawler threatens to kill the injured Coach if he makes one wrong move.

From Wrestlemania XIX.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn tries to fire some confetti cannons on the way to the ring but some of them fail to go off, prompting an “eh what are you going to do” look. Jericho on the other hand just looks down at him in disdain in the perfect response. Some early armdrags frustrate Jericho so Shawn lounges on the top rope.

Back up and Shawn kicks him away without too much effort as they’re still firmly in first gear. Jericho is ready for a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face, earning himself a right hand to the jaw and a trip to the floor. Back in and Jericho scores with a spinwheel kick but a bulldog is countered with a good crotching. We hit a random Figure Four but Jericho reverses pretty quickly.

They head outside again with Shawn hitting a nice plancha, only to get caught in the Walls in the aisle. The bad back is sent into the post as Jericho has a big target to work with now. Back in and Jericho yells about how he’s better than Shawn as he stays on the back in a variety of ways. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back before Shawn grabs a DDT to get him out of trouble.

Jericho nips up and hits the forearm into Shawn’s pose, which you just don’t do at Wrestlemania. Shawn makes his comeback (with two nipups of his own) and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence (as required by a classic like this) for a couple of twos each. Jericho is Lionsault for two more before countering a hurricanrana into the Walls. Shawn grabs the rope so Jericho elbows him in the jaw and tunes up the band.

Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and the fans seemed to buy that as the finish. Shawn teases the Walls but goes with a catapult into the post for two instead. It’s Jericho up first with a belly to back superplex but Shawn reverses into a crossbody in mid-air for yet another near fall.

The top rope elbow gets the same but the real Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Walls again. Just like last time, Shawn grabs the ropes though this time he follows up with more Chin Music for a very delayed two. Both guys are spent so Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex, only to have Shawn flip over and grab a rollup with his legs for the pin at 22:31.

Rating: A. Oh come on like this one needs an explanation. These two were both on fire here and just had an awesome match. It’s the match that made it clear Shawn had more than just a few performances in him as he felt a lot more like the older version here, which is exactly what the match needed to be. Jericho being able to do every athletic thing Shawn could do but not be able to outsmart him is a perfect story in a similar vein to Shawn vs. Shelton Benjamin a few years later. Great match here and one of the best Shawn had in his comeback.

They hug post match but Jericho kicks him low like the heel he is.

Coach and King plug the Unscripted book and Shawn vs. HHH for the title next week in San Antonio.

From Raw, January 27.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Victoria (looking especially good here in pink) is defending in a street fight and jumps Trish from behind with a pool cue. Trish is sent into the steps and Victoria stops to pose in the ring. A Chick Kick drops the champ and a clothesline gets two on the floor (street fights and hardcore matches aren’t the same thing but you can’t expect WWE to keep up with something like rules).

Back in and Victoria misses a charge into the post and gets two trashcan lids cracked around her head. Victoria is right back with a catapult into a trashcan in the corner but a Stratusphere gives Trish two. Steven Richards tries a fire extinguisher but hits Victoria by mistake. Richards comes in for the save so Trish kendo sticks him away. Stratusfaction is broken up and Trish is sent into the barricade…for the pin? What a lame ending.

Rating: C+. That ending really hurt things here as they were beating the heck out of each other and looking more polished as almost any hardcore match you would see from this company. It felt like they were actually trying to hurt each other, which is far more than you can say about these matches most of the time. Just find a new challenger though as the feud is really starting to look stale.

Raw Retro package on the Tenth Anniversary Special. Egads what a wreck.

Stacy Keibler comes in to see Coach and King with Coach saying he’s tired of Lawler drooling over the women every week. She’d pick King and it’s a plug for a body spray.

From Raw, September 29.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

Christian is defending in a ladder match. Rob easily wins a battle of kicks to start but Christian won’t let him set up an early ladder. Instead it’s Christian picking one up so Rob hits a flip dive over the top onto the ladder onto Christian. Well that was rather stupid. Since that did more damage to Rob than Christian, the champ bridges a ladder between the barricade and the steps. Christian is dropped ribs first onto the ladder and the spinning kick to the back makes things even worse.

There’s a ladder set up in the corner so of course Van Dam is whipped hard into it for his efforts. A catapult sends Rob face first into the ladder but he’s right back up with a delayed gorilla press onto the ladder. Rob has always been deceptively strong and the athleticism makes it even less noticeable. Christian gets knocked outside so Rob can make the first climb, only to be taken down by the reverse DDT off the ladder.

That’s not enough to get the title though as Christian is sent into the ladder in the corner, followed by a Cannonball (called Rolling Thunder, which is close enough). Rob uses the ladder for a Van Daminator but the Five Star only hits ladder. A hard running shot with the ladder puts Van Dam on the floor again but he comes back in with a top rope kick to knock it over again. The double climb leads to a slugout with both guys falling, only to have Rob catch himself on the other ladder. A Five Star from that ladder is enough for Rob to go up and get the title for the win.

Rating: B. While it’s no classic, this was the kind of match that Raw has been needing: hard hitting, a lot of fun and with a good guy winning in the end. Oh and a lack of HHH or Evolution helped too. This isn’t the kind of match that anyone is going to remember as anything great, but it was what they should have done on this show, especially as the main event instead of the big tag match.

Clip of Goldberg debuting and spearing Rock the night after Wrestlemania.

From Backlash.

The Rock vs. Goldberg

The entrances take a long time and Rock hits the floor before the bell as they’re hitting the stall button hard here. They stare each other down as the match hasn’t actually started yet. We’re finally ready to go after several minutes of killing time, which isn’t what this show needed. Goldberg shoves him away off the lockup, which isn’t that surprising as Rock isn’t known as a power guy.

They do it again with Rock falling to the floor this time around. Back in and Rock slaps him in the face, only to get run over with a shoulder. Rock bails again as the announcers debate music. We hit another long stall until Rock snaps him throat first across the top. Goldberg grabs a Rock Bottom but takes way too long on the spear, allowing Rock to send him into the post. The Sharpshooter goes on for a bit before Rock goes with a low blow.

That means nothing either and it’s a spear to cut Rock down. No Jackhammer though as Goldberg gets two off a slam instead. Good grief END THIS SHOW ALREADY. Rock hits a spear of his own (called a spinebuster by Coach, which isn’t that far off actually) and the Rock Bottom gets two. Now the spinebuster actually connects and the People’s Elbow gets two more. Goldberg pops up, hits a spear, ignores the GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, adds a second spear, and finishes with the Jackhammer.

Rating: D-. This was about as dumb as they could have gone with Goldberg doing the same kind of match that every WWE main eventer has with the multiple finishers and trading moves instead of doing the formula that got him over in the first place. It was a completely terrible debut match with Rock’s selling alone completely outshining everything Goldberg did.

Compare this Goldberg match to his recent return (true story: he wrestled more in this match than in a match, a Royal Rumble appearance, a title win and a title defense) and look at which got better reactions, more entertaining matches and just more success overall. It’s not hard to figure out why one was better than the other and a lot of it has to do with booking Goldberg like Goldberg and not like any other star.

Another moment: Jericho kisses Trish.

Video on Eric Bischoff being given thirty days to turn Raw around by signing Steve Austin, including his time in Texas.

From No Way Out.

Eric Bischoff vs. Steve Austin

Bischoff, in his karate gear, begs for mercy and offers to help Austin make a fortune. That goes as well as you would expect as Austin, in jean shorts, takes him down and stomps away to quite the reaction. Austin takes off Bischoff’s gloves, allowing Eric to rake the eyes. A kick to the chest has no effect, because former professional martial artists are worthless once they become authority figures. Austin takes him to the floor for another beating and hits three Stunners for the pin. JR, of course, loses it.

Rating: D-. There’s your Raw main event people and it was about what had to be expected. Austin looked good in a short burst like this but he wasn’t very interesting when he left in the first place and that’s not a good sign going forward. Austin vs. just about anyone on Raw at the moment doesn’t sound too appealing (Austin vs. HHH would be their best option and that sounds rather boring) but maybe he’s the shot in the arm that Raw needs, at least in the short term.

Austin hits another Stunner for good measure.

From Confidential, Gene Okerlund thinks Christmas From Iraq is a good idea.

Another moment: Kane unmasks and goes coconuts.

From Survivor Series.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Ambulance match with Shane charging straight at him for a crossbody to the floor. Shane knocks him onto the announcers’ table and hits him in the head with a monitor, setting up the big elbow to drive Kane through. That’s enough at ringside though so they head to the back, including the camera cutting out. That means we hit the pretape and come back with Shane pounding him down with a kendo stick.

Shane puts him in a security shack and jumps into an SUV to run Kane over again. Finding a well placed walkie-talkie, Shane tells someone to SEND IT, which means it’s time for an ambulance backstage. But is that the designated ambulance? That makes a difference you know. Instead of backing the ambulance up to the shack where Kane is down, Shane grabs a stretcher and wheels it twenty feet over, allowing Kane to grab him by the throat and slam Shane into a wall.

The camera goes out again and we pick it up with Kane knocking him back into the arena. Shane gets knocked into the front of the ambulance but manages to hit Kane in the face with the back door. What a sick sounding thud too. Kane is back up and sends Shane into the ambulance but another ram with the door gets Shane out of trouble. A tornado DDT on the floor plants Kane as they’re now near the grave for the Buried Alive match.

Shane puts a trashcan (good thing one was nearby) and a crashpad (same as before) and hits the Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to smash Kane’s face. That’s still not enough to wrap things up as Kane pulls Shane into the ambulance with him for more brawling. It’s Kane throwing Shane out though and then ramming him back first into the side. He javelins Shane’s head into the other side (you have to match you see) and a Tombstone on the floor is enough for the win.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as I was expecting but again, this doesn’t really do what they were likely shooting for with Kane. It makes two straight matches where Kane has had trouble beating up Shane McMahon. He can destroy Rob Van Dam but Shane gives him trouble? It didn’t work last time and it doesn’t work here. Now that he’s lost all of his heat though, you can pencil him in for a World Title match.

Another moment: Hurricane spies on the Rock and has one of the funniest segments of the year.

Video on the wrestlers who have passed away this year, including Stu Hart, Crash Holly, Miss Elizabeth, Hawk, Mr. Perfect and Freddie Blassie.

Another moment: Ric Flair wants HHH to bring it full blast for their match.

From Raw, May 19.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Ric Flair

HHH is defending and has heavily taped ribs. He tells Flair to lay down but Flair just slicks backs his hair as we hit the opening bell. They WOO at each other until Flair pokes him in the eye to take over. HHH tries a suplex but the ribs give out, allowing Flair to send him outside in a heap. Ric can hit the suplex on the floor but walks into a spinebuster back inside.

The champ can’t follow up though and Flair actually hits the top rope shot to the head. JR is selling the heck out of the chance Flair could win here and it’s time to go after the leg. The Figure Four goes on for a good while until HHH makes the rope. The referee gets bumped though and HHH grabs the belt, only to get poked in the eye. A belt shot gives Flair a close two and you can feel the fans gasp. The Pedigree is countered with a backdrop so Flair tries one of his own, only to get countered into the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. They were starting to get going near the end but, alas, HHH needed to go over Flair in Flair Country for the sake of…..I’m guessing his ego or something, even if it took away Flair’s best reaction in at least a year. Throw in the fact that this was designed to help set up HHH vs. Nash II instead of what could have been a great HHH vs. Flair match in an interesting story and this is even sadder.

Another moment: Mae Young does various things to Eric Bischoff during the Redneck Triathlon from Bad Blood. Give me ANYTHING else please.

From Survivor Series.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Dudley Boyz, Booker T., Rob Van Dam

Bischoff: Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Christian, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton

Coach, Stacy Keibler and the two team captains are at ringside. The fans want tables to start but have to settle with D-Von and Christian instead. D-Von shoulders him down to start but gets slapped in the face, triggering a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s not a nice response. Van Dam comes in for some forearms to the face and a kick to the jaw gets the same. It’s off to Jericho for some more luck, followed by Steiner whipping Van Dam hard into the corner to set up some posing.

Van Dam’s comeback is cut off by a belly to belly superplex but he’s able to get over to Booker for the hot tag. Things speed way up in a hurry and the scissors kick into the Spinarooni makes Bischoff face palm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Steiner hits Booker low. The Recliner goes on but Stacy offers a distraction, setting up a reverse 3D. A Bookend is enough to get rid of Steiner and make it 5-4.

The World’s Strongest Slam gets rid of Booker a few seconds later to tie it right back up. Bubba comes in to try his luck and is sent hard into the corner. D-Von’s help doesn’t make things much better as the Dudleys are rammed together. Mark misses a charge though and it’s a 3D into the Five Star for the elimination. It’s off to Orton for a hard clothesline on Van Dam but Rob scores with a kick. Another Five Star is loaded up but Jericho makes a save, setting up the RKO to tie things up at three each. Jericho comes in and missile dropkicks D-Von down as JR and King wonder how things will go tomorrow night.

D-Von shoulders Jericho down for no count as Christian has the referee, setting up the sleeper drop for another elimination. This match is already better paced than the opener and here’s Shawn to pick things up all over again. Shawn pounds on Jericho in the corner and catches an invading Christian without much effort. Orton gets in a dropkick but stays down anyway as I guess he didn’t hit all of it. A double tag brings in Christian and Bubba with a backdrop getting two on the Canadian.

Jericho runs Christian over by mistake but a low blow sets up the Unprettier to get rid of Bubba. We’re down to Shawn vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Austin is starting to see how much trouble he’s in. Shawn punches away at Christian to start but some good old fashioned double teaming has Shawn in trouble again. Like there’s any other way this should go. Shawn is taken outside and catapulted into the post (you can see him blade on the wide shot) to bust open a GUSHER.

That and a suplex are only good for two back inside and Christian even steals his pose. Jerry: “That was a creepy little pose right there.” The Unprettier is broken up and a quick Sweet Chin Music gets rid of Christian. A frustrated Jericho comes in and gets two off a clothesline before handing it back to Orton. Shawn gets in a belly to back suplex but Jericho comes back in to take over again. As usual, JR is perfect at calling this kind of a story and Shawn getting two off a DDT has Jerry trying as hard as he can to believe in Shawn.

The Lionsault hits knees and Shawn pulls himself up but gets pulled into a Walls attempt. That’s reversed into a quick small package to get rid of Jericho and make it one on one (Lawler: “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!”). Jericho isn’t gone yet though and caves Shawn’s head in with a chair shot. Why that isn’t a DQ on Orton isn’t clear but Shawn is done as Orton comes back in.

That’s only good for two and you can see the sigh of relief from Austin. Orton’s high crossbody hits the referee and here’s Bischoff to break up Sweet Chin Music. That’s too much for Austin so it’s a Stunner to Orton but he makes the mistake of beating on Bischoff a bit too much. They go up the aisle and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin.

Rating: B+. I love this match and always have. It doesn’t really pick up until Shawn is on his own but that’s what he’s done best throughout his entire career. He knows how to play the underdog better than anyone I’ve ever seen and you really can get behind the Lawler mindset of trying to believe here. As usual, Shawn is great in this role and it’s never too far to believe that he could pull this off (quick superkick, small package for two eliminations). Great stuff, but you might want to skip the first few minutes.

Austin is stunned at the loss because he placed his career in someone else’s hands and was let down. The bloody Shawn can barely stand and Austin congratulates him for giving it everything he had. Austin grabs the mic and talks about starting here in Dallas and going out here as well. Coach comes out to laugh and gets beaten up one more time with security getting the same treatment. Beer is consumed as a final goodbye. You know, assuming you believe that he’s gone for good this time.

We wrap it up with a video on last week’s ending with Mick Foley walking out, even with Randy Orton spitting on him.

Overall Rating: D+. How can you make a Best Of show this boring? It’s been a very rough year for Raw and this show didn’t even focus on most of the HHH issues. There are some good things in here but for the most part nothing came off like it was important or even all that good. Weak show here, but at least I could watch it in a hurry.

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