Last week’s major development made me feel like I’m experiencing deja vu. Yet again there’s a group teaming together, seemingly to take over TNA. This time it’s MVP, Bobby Lashley and Kenny King hooking up with reasons left to be explained tonight. The main idea tonight is Dixie Carter coming to confront MVP and see where all this is going. I’m sure this is going to be thrilling. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap shows MVP turning a few weeks ago and then being joined by Lashley and King.

The three villains arrive and run into Kazarian. He’s on the phone and doesn’t seem impressed so King beats Kaz down. MVP: “Was that necessary?” King: “No.”

MVP, Lashley and King hit the ring with MVP offering to give the people a history lesson. He’s a brilliant individual and it was because of his brilliance that he was able to bring in his friends and take power. Sometimes when you take power, blood must be spilled. Never again was he going to ask for permission to do anything because this is a business. At the end of the day, it’s all about power, money and respect. MVP is now in control and everyone just has to accept it. Yes he has sold out arenas and he’s done it again tonight.

King says he couldn’t believe it when MVP asked him to do this and takes credit for the exhibition match from a few weeks ago. Everyone was shocked and the same thing happened when he fought Lashley. Then MVP brought Lashley in at Lockdown because Lashley knew politics were a waste of time. MVP calls himself a god but here are the Wolves to interrupt.

Davey quotes the money, power and respect line and says they don’t have any respect for MVP anymore. MVP told them it was about heart and that’s why they followed him at Lockdown. MVP gets them confused (King: “It don’t matter!”) before saying he gave them this chance to get out of taking 15 hour bus rides in Japan to eat Ramen Noodles.

They may have heart but to be where MVP is today, you have to be heartless. MVP threatens to send them back to the indies and the brawl is on. The Wolves are outnumbered and Lashley hits a big spear on Edwards. Davey is dragged up to the stage and speared off and through a table. King cackles like a witch.

A ticked off Eric Young arrives.

The Carters arrive.

Davey has been taken to a hospital.

Here’s Eric Young to vent a bit. MVP cuts him off almost immediately and brings out Lashley and King. Young says the shame should be on him and then asks Lashley how he’ll be able to explain this to his son. MVP holds Bobby back and says Lashley’s son will be behind the wheel of a very expensive car then and won’t care what Lashley did. The trio gets into the ring and Eric is ready to fight. It goes as badly as you would expect until Austin Aries runs out and helps Young fight them off.

Aries grabs the mic and says he’s one of the few that saw MVP for what he really was: a liar in cheap suits. Austin calls MVP out for a match and MVP accepts for later tonight. That’s not all from MVP though as he’s going to give Eric Young a match tonight. No opponent given but MVP says it’s coming.

Bram has gotten Magnus a falls count anywhere match with Willow tonight. Magnus says he’s getting sick of this and punches Bram in the jaw. Bram laughs and says that’s what they want. Magnus says he’s crazy.

Angelina is issuing an open challenge for a title shot. Gail Kim comes up to accept it but she’s not allowed. Kim lays Angelina out and beats her up a bit.

Here are the Beautiful People with Angelina saying all former Knockouts Champions are excluded from accepting.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Brittany

Love jumps Brittany during her posing and takes over quickly. Brittany gets knocked down again but shoves Love out of the corner. A handspring elbow runs into Angelina’s elbow but Brittany comes back with an O’Connor Roll, only to be distracted by Velvet. The distraction lets Angelina hit the Botox Injection for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D. Points for having someone new in there like Brittany, but the match was nothing to see at all. The Beautiful People are getting less and less interesting every week, especially with them getting what they wanted so easily. This whole division is just worthless to me anymore and it’s not getting any more interesting at all.

Gail Kim comes out to prevent the makeover.

Dixie is going to address MVP tonight. We knew that already.

James Storm comes to see Mr. Anderson at a bar and a drinking contest begins.

MVP vs. Austin Aries

Aries jumps him from the apron but MVP sends him into the barricade to take over. They get inside with Aries in control and hitting a running elbow in the corner followed by raining down some right hands. MVP shoves him over the top and out to the floor before slapping Aries down. Back in and MVP misses a running kick in the corner and Aries goes for the leg. MVP blocks the brainbuster but gets caught by the running dropkick in the corner. Aries nails a second but Lashley runs in to break up the 450 for the DQ at 3:48.

Rating: C. This was fun while it lasted but you knew there was no way it was getting a clean finish this early in the feud. Aries is a good choice to have in this spot but he and Young need a third guy to make this a better fight. The match wasn’t much wrestling but they fought the entire time which is always a nice touch.

Aries gets beaten down until Young comes out as well. The champion gets beaten down until MVP announces Lashley as Young’s opponent for later. Dixie comes out for the showdown because this story hasn’t gotten enough TV time tonight. After a break Dixie yells at MVP for ignoring her and says she’s never hurt anyone. “Except shoving Bully Ray through two tables….and breaking two of his ribs.”

MVP says she’s been banned from the Impact Zone but here’s Bully to chase Dixie and Ethan off. MVP says Bully was banned from the building too but Ray gets in his face and says MVP is here because of Ray. Bully wants to know why they’re picking on Eric Young, who has been here since day one and worked his way to the top to become World Champion.

MVP asks when Bully started caring but King jumps Ray for the three on one beatdown. The trio leaves and the Carters come back. Dixie: “Ethan, get the tables.” Ethan: “Ok.” Ray tries to fight back but gets planted through the wood. Dixie gets to say she fears no one again. I really hope this is just a one off confrontation between MVP and Dixie, because the last thing I (and I think most TNA fans) want is another power struggle.

Post break Ray limps after the Carters but they escape in a limo.

Magnus vs. Willow

Falls count anywhere. We get a quick video about Bram trying to unleash the beast inside Magnus, just in case this wasn’t enough like Cena and Bray Wyatt already. Magnus misses a charge to the floor but blocks a dive with his knees. They fight in the aisle with Magnus still turning down the use of something metal. Back inside and Willow takes over with some legdrops but misses the Swanton.

The Whisper in the Wind connects for two and a clothesline puts Magnus on the floor. Willow’s slingshot splash lands for two more but Magnus clotheslines him down onto the ramp. Bram offers him the metal again and this time a shot to the ribs has Willow in trouble. Magnus can’t bring himself to hit Willow in the back of the head though, allowing Willow to hit a Twist of Fate on the ramp for the pin at 4:58.

Rating: C. Not a bad brawl here but Willow was up WAY too fast after that shot to the ribs. He might have been down fifteen seconds and then is able to hit his finisher and pin a World Champion? That’s a bit too much of a stretch for my taste but with as little time as they had they couldn’t do much else.

Gunner tells Samuel Shaw he’s been in an asylum before too.

Eddie Edwards is back.

After a break, Gunner is still in the asylum with Shaw. Gunner tells him a story about a friend of his who went through basic training with him. The friend went through something that sounds like PTSD and Gunner was the one there to help him get into a place just like this. That’s why he understands what it’s like for Shaw to be in here. In the end the guy got better and found himself. Gunner believes there’s good inside Shaw and that he can get better. Shaw asks why he should trust Gunner. That’s a good question, and Gunner says he’ll prove his trustworthiness by trying to get Shaw out of the straitjacket.

Here’s Edwards to call out any member of the trio for a fight right now. King comes out and the brawl is on immediately. Edwards chokes him with a shirt and hammers away before they get in the ring. Kenny gets in a few shots with the mic to take over but Edwards avoids a moonsault. Edwards hits a suicide dive and rips at Kenny’s face but gets sent into the steps. A high collar suplex puts Edwards down on the ramp and Kenny walks away. Eddie is holding his shoulder.

The drinking contest is continuing and it appears that Anderson is cheating by drinking something without alcohol. Storm is on about his 12th beer.

MVP comes up to Brian Hebner. He apologizes for King attacking Hebner recently and Brian accepts. MVP gives Hebner the main event match tonight and implies that Brian needs to help him. Hebner doesn’t say anything.

Back to the bar where Storm can barely talk and Anderson says he’s totally sober. He’s been drinking Near Beer and proceeds to beat Storm up. Anderson takes Storm outside and throws him into a trash can before putting the $100 bet in Storm’s mouth.

Eric Young says he’s banged up but he learns from his mistakes. Tonight Lashley will learn that his biggest mistake was letting Young get up.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title. Eric starts fast but gets taken down and thrown to the floor, into the barricade. Back in and Lashley hammers away before bending Young’s back over the ropes. A hard palm strike to the chest drops Young again and we take a break. Back with Lashley hitting a delayed vertical suplex for two before putting on a bearhug.

Young fights back with a missile dropkick and the piledriver. No cover though as Young goes up, only to have to fight off King and MVP. It’s not a DQ yet as Young gets crotched on the top. Lashley gets up and a spear sets up the powerslam for the pin at 10:33. Well at least it wasn’t clean.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here again, other than about the 857th time that the trio has been on screen tonight. It’s the same old problem that TNA has always had: if they’ve got a top story, it’s going to DOMINATE a show until you’re either hooked on it or totally sick of it. Heaven forbid anything else get anytime.

Aries tries to make a save with a kendo stick but gets triple teamed as well. The trio stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Why can’t TNA learn anything? Why do they insist on going back to the EXACT SAME THING over and over and over and over and over again? Tonight was ALL about this new trio and if you don’t like them, WELL SCREW YOU BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GETTING LALALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU! That’s what it’s like to be a TNA fan. If you don’t like what you’re getting, deal with it because they’re going to use the same story over and over again.

Other than the trio stuff, the Dixie angle continues and unfortunately we’re probably not going to get her being put through a table. That’s the ONLY payoff to the whole thing but if it never happens, or happens anywhere other than Slammiversary or the New York tapings, it’s yet another waste of a story and our time by TNA.

The rest of the show wasn’t anything to remember. The beer drinking contest was fine but they made it clear where it was going halfway through. Gunner and Shaw is somewhat interesting, but it’s a BIG step down for Gunner after months of beating Storm time after time. The Beautiful People are still the same act we’ve seen for years from them now, making this show feel like it’s stuck on replay.

Results
Angelina Love b. Brittany – Botox Injection
Austin Aries b. MVP via DQ when Bobby Lashley interfered
Willow b. Magnus – Twist of Fate on the ramp
Bobby Lashley b. Eric Young – Powerslam

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Another week has passed and the main story is, say it with me, a heel authority figure corrupted by power. Last week MVP turned heel and announced himself as the #1 contender to the World Title. Other than that we’ve got Bully Ray heading to Texas to go after Dixie Carter. Why he would wait a week to do so is beyond me but maybe they’ll show us footage from the previous week. Let’s get to it.

Eric Young is waiting for MVP to arrive but security pulls him away from the boss’ limo.

Video on MVP turning on Young last week.

Here’s Young (minus the belt) in the arena to open things up. Eric rants about how he thought MVP was something different that’s why he fought so hard for him. Anything would have been better than Dixie Carter but this isn’t good at all. Eric says if MVP wants a fight he can come out here right now. MVP pops up on screen and says he did this for the money and the power. He’s going to do Eric a favor though: Young can keep the title until Slammiversary when MVP takes it away.

Dixie is in Nashville driving around with Spud. They go to her house and see a bunch of tables spray painted with Dixie Fears Bully.

Recap of Bram trying to make Magnus into his old self by sending him after Willow.

Willow is ready for revenge but wants it in his realm.

Bram/Magnus vs. Willow

They start in the dark rafters but are down on the floor in about ten seconds. Tagging is required here and it’s Bram whipping Willow into the corner to start. Bram hammers Willow in the corner and brings in Magnus for some stomping of his own. Back to Bram but he gets reversed into the corner for forearms and the slingshot dropkick. Willow decks Magnus off the apron but can’t hit the Twist. Magnus trips Willow up, allowing Bram to suplex him down. Back to Magnus with Bram sliding in a metal object. Magnus won’t go insane like Bram wants though, allowing Willow to small package Magnus for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D+. This was more storytelling than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Bram wanting Magnus to be all violent and evil again is a good idea for Magnus as his time on the top just didn’t work for the most part. He’s boring as a proper Englishman and all that jazz, so have him be evil instead and get something interesting going instead. Bram looked good.

Young trashes MVP’s office.

Bully Ray calls Dixie and tells her and Spud to come inside.

Gail Kim comes to the ring and says she’s not here to wear an evening gown or to get a makeover. She calls out the Beautiful People and gets what she wants. Angelina says the Beautiful People are what everyone should aspire to be. Velvet jumps Gail from behind and it’s time for a match.

Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim

Gail is in trouble to start but jumps over Velvet in the corner to get a breather. She hits the running cross body in the corner but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Angelina gets in a few shots and throws Gail back inside for a DDT and two. Gail comes back with Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D. It’s the same story with the same ideas and the same people we’ve seen doing this FOREVER now and I don’t care anymore. I’m assuming Gail gets a title shot at Slammiversary, but who cares if she wins? What difference does it make as they’ve all been champion like a million times anyway. Match was nothing.

Gail gets laid out post match.

Ethan Carter brags about injuring Kurt Angle last week and says this is his world now.

Crazy Steve vs. Kazarian

Steve is the Menagerie’s clown. Kaz sends him to the floor to start as we have carnival music and weird lighting. Kaz trips over Steve on the floor as the Freak stares him down. Steve low bridges Kaz to the floor as we’re in full on comedy match mode. The balloons are brought in and Steve breaks them with a top rope splash. Now he’s running around with a horn as Freak poses on the apron. Rebel is in the ring as well, hanging upside down on the ropes. The referee gets pantsed and it’s thrown out at 2:34 with Kaz winning by DQ.

The Menagerie doesn’t seem to mind losing.

Aries tries to get into MVP’s office but security stops him. MVP comes out and gets some cheap shots but Young shows up to jump the boss as we take a break. Back with the two still fighting and MVP in control. He tries to hang Eric with his tie but the champion fights back as they head to the ramp. Young seems to be favoring his arm so MVP hammers away on it back in the ring. Security comes down to break it up but MVP gets in more shots on the arm, including a flying armbar. MVP makes the title match tonight with him getting the title shot.

Spud tries to sneak up on Ray in Dixie’s house but the cameraman gives him away. Spud is captured but Ray tells the camera guys to stay there.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm

The opening bell is after a break and the brawl is already on the floor. Anderson takes him into the barricade but Anderson’s hand is slammed into the steps to give Storm control. Back inside with Storm working over the arm but getting caught in the swinging neckbreaker. Storm tries to run from the Mic Check, allowing him to hit a quick low blow for two, as the referee catches Storm’s feet on the ropes. A running DDT gets two on Anderson and it’s beer bottle time. The referee takes the bottle away but Storm spits in Anderson’s face, setting up the Last Call for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. These matches are starting to get repetitive. The arm work went nowhere here and the match was only ok if you stretch a lot. It’s nice to see Storm FINALLY get a win though. That’s his first singles win on TV in over a year. That simply should not happen to a former World Champion.

Samuel Shaw is in an institution and can only say Christy.

Video on Sanada training and what the X Title means to him.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

DJZ is coming in with bad ribs. Sanada is defending and he teams up with Tigre to take Ion down to start. Tigre tries a quick rollup for two on the champ. There’s a bunch of confetti in the ring from Sanada’s entrance and it’s all over everyone’s back. Sanada misses a standing moonsault on Tigre but snaps up with a dropkick to the back. DJZ comes back in but gets caught in a rolling cradle for two for the champ.

Tigre stays on the floor for a bit as DJZ nails some forearms to Sanada in the corner. Sanada comes back with some chops as Tigre is still on the floor. Tigre finally comes back in with a dropkick to both guys, followed by a spinning Asai Moonsault to the floor. He throws DJZ back inside but Ion breaks up a moonsault. Sanada springboards back in with a chop to DJZ’s head and hits a tiger suplex for the pin to retain at 5:33.

Rating: C. Sanada is still good but these guys are pretty much the entire division right now. It’s the same problem the division has had for years now: you can find one guy that does well for awhile but the division is dead save for the month before Destination X. Nothing much to see here but it wasn’t bad.

Ray calls Dixie from Spud’s phone and tells her she’s all alone.

Gunner comes to see Samuel Shaw in the institution because Shaw needs someone to talk to.

We recap Ethan injuring Angle’s knee last week.

Dixie goes into her house and finds Spud tied up. Bully shuts the door and asks Dixie if she ever though it would come to this. He’s doing it because of what she did at Sacrifice and wants to know if she believes he’s afraid of her. Ray asks if she wants this to end. She does of course but he wants her to say she fears him. She’s about to say it when Ethan jumps Ray from behind. Dixie says she fears no one.

We recap Roode and MVP brawling last week, leading to MVP suspending Roode from Impact for the foreseeable future.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. MVP

Young attacks before the bell but is sent bad arm first into the steps. MVP works it over even more as the match hasn’t actually started yet. Back from a break with the opening bell and MVP staying on the bad arm. Eric fights up and hits some of his usual stuff before loading up the top rope elbow, only to have Kenny King of all people come down and shove Eric off the top for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D. I don’t have a rating in me for this one. Most of it was just arm work anyway.

MVP tells the referee to restart the match or he’s fired. The referee won’t do it so King decks him. King and MVP beat up Eric until Bobby Lashley comes out for the save….before joining up with them to destroy Young. Eric is slammed through some chairs by Lashley and taunted with the belt. The new heel faction stands tall to end the show. Taz: “This is bad Mike.” Preach it brother.

Overall Rating: D. TNA is entering it’s summer lull and they’re diving in head first. There was some watchable stuff tonight but the stories are just killing everything else. As I’ve complained about probably a dozen times before, it feels like we’ve seen every bit of this before. The Beautiful People are dominant and calling people ugly, the heel authority figure(s) are receiving far more TV time than anyone else, and the title picture is about the plucky champion fighting to keep the main evil authority figure from gaining ultimate power.

It’s the same stuff this company has run with for YEARS now and it’s just not working here. We’re coming up on one of the biggest shows of the year and looking at Eric Young vs. MVP for the World Title. I could picture that being a midcard title match, but TNA doesn’t have time for a midcard title. Maybe if Dixie didn’t have to have five segments a show we could, but Heaven forbid she’s not one of the focal points of the show. The more I think about it the more it seems like they want her to turn face, which would be about the dumbest thing they could do. In other words, look for face Dixie to send her guy in to face MVP at BFG.

Results
Willow b. Bram/Willow – Small package to Magnus
Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky – Eat Defeat
Kazarian b. Crazy Steve via DQ when Menagerie interfered
Sanada b. DJZ and Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex to DJZ
Eric Young b. MVP via DQ when Kenny King interfered

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These things are back again with another random tag partners competition. It’s the same format as the first in the series: take four random wrestlers and put them in a tag match, then have the winners go into a gauntlet battle royal. The winner gets a check for $100,000. I wouldn’t mind if they used money as a motivating factor in wrestling more often. Let’s get to it.

As usual, we open with a package of clips from the show we’re about to see.

Jeremy Borash and Christy Hemme explain the concept for the night. They also do the drawing for the first match, which they’ll be doing before every tag match tonight.

Gunner/Chris Sabin vs. British Invasion

It’s Magnus/Doug Williams, which should tell you a thing or two about how this show is going to go. This is one of Sabin’s final appearances as he’s gone from the company by the time this show airs. Doug and Sabin get things going with the Englishman taking him down by the arm. The announcers are already in their own little world as Williams hangs onto the arm even though a monkey flip. Sabin is sent to the floor for a chase and eats a European uppercut back inside.

Off to Gunner for some nice applause and one off a shoulder block. The tag brings in Magnus to a mixed reaction and the showdown with Gunner. Well it would be a showdown if this were on regular TNA TV and Magnus were still World Champion but there’s only so much for me to work with on this show. A headlock takes Gunner down to the mat but he fights back with a fall away slam for two.

Back to Sabin who gets caught in a double neckbreaker for two. The announcers are talking about tag team wrestling for a change. Granted it’s about Taz’s career but at least they’re getting closer than they were earlier when they talked about wrestling polar bears. A sunset flip from Douglas gets two on Gunner but it’s quickly back to Sabin. Chris chokes Douglas with a rope from his wrist to get some cheating in there but the fans cheer Douglas back to his feet.

Gunner comes in again but charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Williams to come off the middle rope with a European uppercut. Taz’s line during that sequence: “Calculus 202. That was my thing.” He’s talking about math, not the uppercut in case you’re looking for a double meaning or a metaphor there. Everything breaks down and Gunner puts Magnus in the Gun Rack but Sabin tags himself in and gets two on Magnus. Sabin accidentally hits his partner, setting up the snapmare into the top rope elbow from Magnus for the pin to advance.

Rating: C. This was your typical One Night Only match: the wrestling wasn’t bad but the lack of a strong story hurts it. It’s not bad or anything and there was a basic story of having an experienced team against a makeshift team but this was much more for the live crowd than the PPV audience.

The British Invasion both say they’ll win the gauntlet for the money later tonight. Magnus emphasizes that the reunion was indeed for one night only but there are no hard feelings.

Bad Influence says they’ll both carry their partners and then win the gauntlet. The Bro Mans come in and promise they’ll win but Bad Influence says the Bro Mans might not be together tonight. Robbie seems a little more aware of what’s going on tonight. This turns into a discussion of hair gel.

Robbie E./Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe/Bad Bones

By the powers, what a coincidence. And right after they were talking too! Bad Bones is the German wrestler that Joe beat up in like 90 seconds a few weeks back. He looks like a lot like A-Train if he was about six inches shorter and not covered with hair. Joe starts with Daniels as the announcers debate leader boards vs. a list of winners. Daniels doesn’t break clean in the corner but his forearms to the back have almost no effect at all. Joe runs him over and hammers away in the corner to set up the Facewash.

Daniels bails to the floor for a meeting with Robbie as the fans quiet down. Back in and E is tagged in before Joe tags him in the jaw with right hands. Off to Bones for a nice high collar suplex and two. Some running forearms and a running knee to the chest ala Daniel Bryan drop Daniels with ease. E tries to help his partner but Bones double clotheslines them down as well. Robbie trips Bones up from the floor and comes in legally to hammer away in the corner.

We hit the chinlock and the fans are already cheering for Bones. E misses a charge in the corner though and the hot tag brings in Joe to face Daniels. The big boot and backsplash get two on Christopher and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Robbie makes the save but gets speared down by Bones. Joe Muscle Busts Daniels for the pin to advance.

Rating: C. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing that rating a lot tonight. There’s only so much to do in a quick match like this with a basic story of power vs. speed with four guys that have a limited history together. Not a bad match or anything but it was just ten minutes of four guys doing moves to each other with Joe and Bones not really breaking a sweat.

Gunner says the loss wasn’t his fault.

British Invasion says the same thing they said after their match.

Samuel Shaw says he only trusts himself.

We do another draw and there are about twenty fewer pieces of paper in the tumbler.

Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries

This has potential. Spud says he’ll be team captain no matter who his partner is and then Bully is announced for a funny moment. Ray and Spud stare each other down. That goes badly for Spud so he gets a chair to stand on. He talks about being chief of staff…..before quickly agreeing that Ray is captain tonight. The fans chant for Aries but switch to WE WANT SPUD. They get what they ask for but the tag hurts Spud’s hand.

Aries easily takes him down so Bully gives him a huge pep talk and starts a SPUD chant. The Rockstar gets in Aries’ face and slaps him, only to be dropped by a left hand. Ray offers another tag but Spud is scared of the pain so it’s another pep talk. This time Aries takes him down with a clothesline and it’s off to Anderson to take over in the corner. All four get in and Spud starts to dance. Ray walks to the corner and facepalms, allowing Aries and Anderson to double team Spud.

Bully realizes he’s doing this on his own and Spud gets knocked down again. Ray yells at him and gets elbowed in the back of the head by Aries, knocking him face first into….uh….a certain place on Spud. This just makes Ray even angrier so he breaks out of a Mic Check and kicks Anderson in the face. Spud does Ray’s pose so Ray pulls him to the corner by the ear and hits a big elbow drop for two on Anderson. Ray to Hebner: “You know what? You count too slow!”

He yells at Hebner in the corner but Earl gets right in Ray’s face to take him into the other corner. Now it’s back to Spud. Taz: “WHY???” Spud drops the same elbow for two and gets in Hebner’s face so Earl slams him down to give Aries a two count. Anderson hits the neckbreaker on the now legal Bully and it’s off to Aries who dropkicks Ray to the floor. A dropkick from the top to the floor and a regular missile dropkick get two for Aries but Ray slams him down and tells Spud to go up top.

Ray: “WHAT’S UP???” Spud: “I’M UP!” The headbutt connects but Ray knocks Spud down when he slaps him in the chest before GET THE TABLES. Spud falls down trying to pull the table out and Ray is disgusted. “GET THE TABLE IN ALREADY!” Anderson comes over and puts his arm around Ray as Spud is still dealing with the table.

Aries is about to go up for What’s Up but Hebner won’t let him. Spud tries a sneak attack on Anderson but is thrown into Ray’s crotch for his efforts. Ray: “YOU SOB!” The fans rightfully think this is awesome and there’s the running corner dropkick from Aries. He loads up the brainbuster but Spud rolls Aries up and pulls the trunks halfway off for the pin. The look of shock on Ray’s face is priceless.

Rating: A+. This was the funniest match I’ve seen in years and maybe even ever. They kept the joke going the entire time and had a WAY more entertaining match than they would have had if they played it straight. This is something WWE needs to learn from. Rather than just having a guy be designated as a comedy guy and having him do strange things while the commentators tell you it’s funny, this was four guys who can be funny BEING FUNNY.

Instead of just doing the same bits over and over again (like Young stripping or the Cobra), they did different stuff that we hadn’t seen before and had a very funny match as a result. Comedy can be done, but let these funny people come up with it themselves rather than having them perform something a writer came up with. If they were good enough actors/performers to do what a writer came up with, they would be in Hollywood making way more money.

This was a blast and a good lesson in how to do comedy wrestling. The tagline One Night Only applies here too: if they did this every week on TV it would stop being anywhere near as funny in like the third week. Do it every now and then instead of the same bits every week and it’ll work far better.

The following two matches are listed in different orders on various sites. This is the order they aired in on the version I have and I don’t think it makes any real difference.

Wolves vs. Beer Money

Eh sometimes it’s better to screw believability and just let two awesome teams have a match. Roode vs. Richards to get things going with a nice technical wrestling sequence. Bobby gets the better of it and cranks on a headlock but Edwards gets a blind tag and dropkicks Roode in the side of the head for two. Off to Storm who gets dropkicked down, allowing the Wolves to take over on the arm. Storm hadn’t turned heel when this was taped so the fans are way into him.

Back to Roode who gets headbutted into the corner and then forearmed in the face by Richards. Storm gets caught in the same corner and kicked down, giving us the gay sex position spot. Back up and Storm kicks the heck out of Richards from the apron and Beer Money takes over. A double back elbow gets two on Davey and we hit a chinlock with Storm’s knee in his back. In one of the few amusing bits of commentary all night, Tenay asks Taz about his time teaming with Raven. Taz: “What about Raven?” They also get into a discussion of how Taz is always commentating with guys named Mike.

Roode comes back in for a chinlock of his own but Davey easily fights up. We get one of the stupidest spots I’ve ever seen as Richards throws Roode to Storm, who catches Bobby in a front facelock for no apparent reason. Then Davey kicks Storm in the face, causing Storm to DDT Roode. Spots like that where they might as well draw you a picture that says “YEAH, WE PLANNED THIS BEFOREHAND” drive me crazy.

Davey finally makes the hot tag to Edwards who cleans house with chops in the corner. The reverse tornado DDT from Storm is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two. An enziguri into a German from Davey gets two on Storm with Roode making the save. Everything breaks down and Davey takes the Backstabber from James and a spinebuster from Bobby. Beer Money hits the double suplex and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Edwards fights out of DWI though and Richards comes back in with a missile dropkick. Beer Money is sent to the floor for a double dive, followed by the top rope double stomp to Storm for the pin.

Rating: B. That’s probably a stretch. The match was good but it certainly wasn’t as great as you would expect from these teams. It made me think of the Hart Foundation vs. the Brainbusters back in 1989. It sounds amazing on paper but when you see it live it’s just a good but not really memorable match. Also it would have been a better choice to put Roode and Storm in the battle royal as they’re far more likely to win than either of the Wolves.

They shake hands post match.

Spud celebrates his win in the back and says he was the team captain. Ray comes in and Spud immediately shakes his hand and asks how the captain is doing. Ray: “YOUR HEAD WAS IN MY NUTS FOR HALF OF THE MATCH! IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN…..I’LL GIVE YOU A BIG OLD KISS BECAUSE WE WON!” Ray kisses Spud on the cheek and gives him a huge hug.

Aries says he’s speechless.

Kazarian/Curry Man vs. Eric Young/Ethan Carter III

For those of you that don’t remember, Curry Man is a masked man in red and yellow with a plate of curry on his head, based on an ad for curry in India. He’s usually played by Christopher Daniels and I believe he is here as well, even though you can see some hair sticking out of the back of the mask. It’s a brawl to start with Young and Curry Man being left alone in the ring. Curry and Young hug each other before slugging it out. They hug again then trade about six standing switches before hugging a third time.

Kaz gets sick of it and suggests a mid match change: Young and Curry Man team against Kaz and Carter. Apparently it’s going to be allowed but Eric and Curry Man stay on the apron. Carter rolls up Kaz for two but Eric makes the save, despite that not even being his original partner. The referee makes them go back to the original partners and more confusion ensues.

Carter finally chokes Curry Man to take over and a slam gets two. Young comes in to save Curry Man and gets yelled at by Ethan. “YOU’RE MY PARTNER!” Eric: “I KNOW IT SUCKS!” A clothesline puts Curry Man down for two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. Tags bring in Eric and Kaz and we get a crisscross. Young takes over with a flying forearm and a belly to belly as everything breaks down. Carter and Curry Man fight to the floor as Young rolls up Kaz for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not really even a match but it was one of the more bearable Eric Young comedy affairs that I can remember seeing. At least this time the story made sense and it wasn’t the same annoying Young stuff over and over again. It’s also a nice take on the random pairings idea which makes this easier to sit through.

Carter lays out Eric postmatch.

The Wolves are more excited about beating Beer Money than going to the gauntlet.

Abyss/Samuel Shaw vs. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz

Godderz poses for Shaw to start but Abyss tags himself in to scare Jesse to death. Ion comes in and shouts BOOM a lot, much to Abyss’ annoyances. A cross body has no effect whatsoever and Abyss slams him down with one arm. About twenty chops from Ion have about the same effect and Abyss runs him over with a clothesline.

Off to Shaw who the fans call creepy. Back to Jesse who elbows Shaw in the face but gets slammed down with ease. Abyss tags himself back in to a nice reaction and cleans house on Godderz. Samuel turns his back on Abyss but gets dragged back into the ring. Godderz and Ion take over with some double teaming and a jawbreaker staggers Shaw. He takes time to go stare at Christy though, allowing Ion to hit a flip dive for two.

Zema misses a middle rope moonsault and it’s back to Abyss for some house cleaning. Jesse actually stops him with a clothesline but Shaw is busy going after Christy. He gets her in the corner and the referee just lets this happen, only to have Abyss make the save. Christy bails so Shaw hammers on his partner. That goes as well as you would expect but the Bro Mans actually knock Abyss to the floor. Shaw grabs the standing choke on Godderz for the submission a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here but at least they didn’t go for a third comedy match out of six. Shaw and Christy have a limited shelf life and hopefully it’s done after the latest gimmick match between Shaw and Anderson. Jesse and Ion were just there to bounce off Abyss and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Ethan Carter III takes credit for the win. Spud and Magnus (on the phone) come up and say that Dixie is proud. Magnus implies that they should let him win the gauntlet but after he leaves, Carter suggests that he should win. Spud thinks he might be the winner.

Lei’D Tapa/Gail Kim/Alpha Female vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB

Just a filler here in an elimination match. Tapa imitates Velvet’s entrance to a ton of booing but Velvet calms the people down by doing it again. Sky charges at Tapa but is lifted in the air for a choke. Off to Gail for a clothesline but she gets caught by Madison’s mat humper. Gail spanks Tapa for some reason and yells at her for not having her back. The announcers talk about having spotted dick at lunch today and the match just keeps going.

Alpha comes in for a slam and some forearms to Madison’s chest. She misses a bad looking splash though and it’s back to Velvet who finally knocks Alpha down. Madison and Gail fight to the floor as Velvet bulldogs Alpha down. Chris Sabin comes out to distract the referee though and gets in an argument with Velvet. Sky low bridges him to the floor, kicks Alpha in the head and hits In Yo Face for the elimination.

Gail rolls Velvet up for a fast pin but the referee is with Sabin and misses Madison spearing Gail down. Tapa runs Madison over for an easy pin and we’re down to Gail/Tapa vs. ODB. The numbers game quickly catch up to her but Gail wants to get the glory. Tapa gets tired of it and shoves Gail into a rollup to get us down to one on one. Gail nails Tapa and ODB hits the Bam for the final pin.

Rating: D. There was no reason at all for this to be elimination rules. There were a few too many things going on here but they still could have wrapped the whole thing up in a single fall. It also doesn’t help that all of these stories have already been wrapped up two months before this show aired.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Basically it’s a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals and the winner getting $100,000. We start with Davey vs. Eddie because that’s how random draws work. Feeling out process to start until the start slugging it out with strikes. Davey gets the better of it with his kicks until Samuel Shaw is in at #3. The Wolves actually keep fighting until Shawn breaks it up and chokes Edwards in the corner.

Edwards comes back with some chops and the Wolves start double teaming. Davey sends Shaw into a running knee to the face but here’s Rockstar Spud at #4. His strategy: kick Shaw low and wrap himself around the ropes for dear life. The Wolves lock eyes onto Spud before splitting up and stomping on both Spud and Shaw. Spud tries to eliminate Shaw by himself as the Wolves just chuckle from the corner. Shaw comes back with a crotch claw and here’s Douglas Williams at #5.

Spud keeps switching ropes to hold onto as we get into the standard battle royal formula of people pairing off and brawling against the ropes without trying to eliminate each other. The Wolves drop Douglas with a double back elbow as Spud is running out of places to hide. Abyss is in at #6 as these times are very suspect. He clotheslines everyone in sight, which doesn’t include Spud who has disappeared. Abyss easily tosses out Edwards and Davey suffers the same fate about fifteen seconds later. There goes Williams and we’re down to Abyss and Shaw on their feet. There’s a Black Hole Slam to set up the elimination as Spud tries to sneak up on Abyss. The monster chokes him up against the ropes as Bully Ray is in at #7.

Spud tries to interfere again but gets thrown over. He hangs on and skins the cat though, only to fall down when trying a double clothesline. Ray and Abyss have the real fight with Abyss nailing the chokeslam. Ray is right back up though as Spud shakes the ropes like the Warrior. A cross body has no effect either but here’s Eric Young at #8 to distract from Spud’s ineptness.

Eric hammers away on everyone in sight but Ray fights back. The Bully scares Spud to the floor but under the bottom rope so everyone is still in. Ray yells at Spud for not helping him get rid of Eric and here’s Ethan Carter III at #9. Eric goes right for him but Spud gets in a few shots from behind to give Ethan control. Spud tries to jump Bully again and gets shouted down into the corner. The five guys in the ring don’t do much else until Bad Bones comes in at #10.

Bones slugs away at everyone in sight which fits his brawling style. Again this goes nowhere until Samoa Joe is in at #11. Much like everyone else, Joe hammers away on everyone in sight upon entering the ring. A nice suplex puts Carter down before Joe settles in on Bad Bones. That doesn’t last long as Joe easily backdrops Bones out and it’s off to Joe vs. Bully. Spud actually eliminates Bully on his own but Joe wacks Spud in the head to put him on the mat.

Magnus comes out to give us a final grouping of Magnus, Joe, Spud, Abyss, Carter and Young. Joe and Magnus immediately go at it with Joe getting the early advantage but getting low bridged out to the floor to get us down to five. Abyss gets gang eliminated but Spud charges at Young and flies over the ropes to the floor. Eric dropkicks both Carter and Magnus down as things speed up. He gets both of them up for something resembling a double Death Valley Driver but gets crotched on the top and punched out by Magnus. Carter uses the distraction to eliminate Magnus for the win.

Rating: D+. This was almost every battle royal that they’ve ever had on this series. At the end of the day there’s only so much you can do with a show like this as battle royals only have so many stories available. Spud was funny and him eliminating Ray put a good cap on their events, but this show exists in a vacuum so it’s not like this is going to mean anything long term.

Carter gets the money to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was one of the more entertaining One Night Onlys but it wasn’t great throughout. The Ray/Spud tag match was one of the most entertaining matches I’ve seen in years and the Beer Money vs. Wolves match was a very solid match in its own right. The one thing that sticks out to me more than anything though is how different this was from Impact.

Matches had time to play out, there were no swerves or heel authority figures dominating things, and no randomly thrown in gimmicks. It was VERY nice for a change and a good example of what TNA is capable of when they stop taking themselves so freaking seriously. Compare this to Sacrifice where a total of nothing happened and the show was horribly boring.

Also, the fact that this was $15 for the HD version is a big factor. For $15, this was a very solid way to spend two and a half hours watching wrestling, especially if you need a break from the WWE Network. The whole series of shows is far better than anything else you get from TNA and are actually worth checking out if you have nothing better to do.

Results
British Invasion b. Gunner/Chris Sabin – Top rope elbow to Sabin
Samoa Joe/Bad Bones b. Robbie E./Christopher Daniels – Muscle Buster to Daniels
Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries – Rollup to Aries
Wolves b. Beer Money – Top rope double stomp to Storm
Eric Young/Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man/Kazarian – Rollup to Kazarian
Abyss/Samuel Shaw b. Jesse Godderz/Zema Ion – Standing choke to Godderz
ODB/Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne b. Alpha Female/Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – Bam to Tapa
Ethan Carter III won a battle royal last eliminating Magnus

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Today we’ve got someone that I’ve never gotten the mass appeal of but maybe I’m missing something. It’s Jay Lethal.

Super Indy 2004 First Round: Jay Lethal vs. Jerelle Clark

Clark is a flippy guy that was around in the earlier days of TNA and is the NWA Wildside Junior Heavyweight Champion coming into this non-title match. Feeling out process to start as they trade armdrags with Lethal being sent to the floor. Back in and Lethal gets caught in a headscissors followed by some armdrags and a dropkick, sending him right back to the floor. Lethal comes back with a sunset flip and running dropkick for two of his own. A Swan Dive gets two more for Jay, followed by a release dragon suplex for the pin on Clark.

Rating: D+. This was a short match and neither guy really showed me much. I’m not sure about having a champion get pinned clean in about five minutes but indy wrestling is strange sometimes. Clark didn’t show me much here but he was more known for a very big flipping splash than anything else.

Lethal would spend a good deal of time in ROH around this point, including this match from Joe vs. Punk II on October 16, 2004.

Delirious vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is 19 here and is VERY young looking, probably because he is young. Delirious starts off with his usual insane stuff. Wait. DELIRIOUS WAS THE LIZARD MAN??? I heard about this for years about how ROH had a lizard man and it was Delirious? I’ve wondered who that was for years. Delirious hasn’t won a singles match yet so this is a big deal for him. Lethal takes him to the corner but is knocked off and takes a rana for two.

They exchange forearms which is a required sequence in ROH. There are the chops and the WOOs. Out to the floor and it’s kind of cool to see them using handheld cameras. Delirious hits a front flip dive to the floor to take Lethal down again. Lethal reverses a rollup for two. Delirious shouts a lot but gets caught in a neckbreaker but catches Lethal coming off the top in a Cutter. That’s not worthy of a pin though. Well to be fair Delirious is supposed to be insane. Shadows Over Hell (splash to the back and not called that yet) gets two. Delirious yells some more and gets caught in a dragon (full nelson) suplex for the pin.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t much of a point to it but for the opener this was fine. Lethal would get a lot better and Delirious would get a lot funnier so this is one of those matches that would be much better about 3 years later. Nothing great here but they were trying and for guys who didn’t have much experience, this worked well enough. Just not that interesting though.

We’ll jump ahead to TNA, where Lethal is probably best known. Here’s a random multiman match from Against All Odds 2006.

Alex Shelley vs. Matt Bentley vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams

One fall to a finish here. Bentley has Traci with him and we get the eternally stupid Bentley Bounce. Can we just watch Traci bounce instead? Bentley and Williams start things off as the fans chant for Lethal. It’s a feeling out process to start with Williams taking over. He goes to do the O Canada deal but Traci offers a curvy distraction. Lethal and Shelley come in and the fans get loud for the first time tonight.

We get a gymnastics routine resulting in them both trying dropkicks at the same time. They chop it out and Lethal hits a dropkick to the back of the head for two. A modified northern lights suplex gets the same for Jay as Shelley tags out with his foot. I guess that doesn’t count so Alex hooks a modified Koji Clutch on jay to take over. Shelley hits a slingshot hilo for two on Jay but Williams tags himself in to face Lethal.

Petey hits a dropkick to the back and slams Jay down. Off to a camel clutch but Shelley comes in to argue about Williams getting the win. That allows Jay to tag in Bentley as this is coming off more like a tag match than a fourway. Bentley cleans house but gets crotched by Petey. A Tower of Doom is broken up and Lethal grabs a bridging German for two on Shelley, but Bentley drops a top rope elbow to break it up. Williams counters a suplex and hits a rolling neckbreaker for two on Bentley.

Lethal comes back in and goes off on Shelley but Alex gets a drop toehold to break it up. Bentley comes back in and things speed WAY up as he and Shelley do a too fast to call sequence. Jackie Gayda comes out and goes after Shelley (Shelley filmed the tape that has been brought up multiple times tonight). She beats him up in the aisle as Bentley backdrops out of the Canadian Destroyer. Lethal dives on Bentley and steals the pin while he’s still down.

Rating: C+. This was fine but after we already saw one match similar to this, there wasn’t as much interest in seeing another one. Still though it was fine and a good use of about ten minutes. Also the fans were into Lethal which is more than can be said for anyone in the opener, save for Aries when he did the suicide dive. Decent match here but nothing that I’ll remember in about ten minutes.

Lethal would get involved in the bizarre Paparazzi Championship Series as Black Machismo Jay Lethal, a character based on Macho Man Randy Savage. This somehow resulted in an X-Division Title shot at Slammiversary 2007.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin has been champion for like five months at this point. Nash comes out for commentary because he’s molded Lethal into Black Machismo recently. Nash’s headset goes out almost immediately after the bell rings and the fans are split. Lethal gets a pretty sweet headscissors to send him to the floor, followed by an ok suicide dive. Sabin spits in Lethal’s face and hits a jumping knee to the face to take over.

Sabin fires off something like a Garvin Stomp but does it fast enough that I don’t have to think of Garvin. The announcers are talking about Nash beating Backlund in MSG. How exactly can you analyze a match that lasted 8 seconds? We go into a standard match formula with Sabin beating Lethal down until we get to the Lethal comeback and then go to the finish.

I’m not sure what it means when you can more or less call the formula for a match about halfway through it, but I don’t think it’s anything good. Lethal makes that comeback with a few hip tosses and a spinning cross body for two. Nash: “This place used to be called Jonesville. Then I got here.” Lethal hits a unique move which can only be described as a reverse fisherman’s suplex into a reverse powerbomb. Looked good but too complicated at the same time.

Sabin takes over with some rapid fire kicks which is what he would get more famous as soon enough in the Motor City Machine Guns. Lethal grabs a full nelson but can’t hit the Lethal Combination. The second time works a bit better and the big elbow gives Lethal his first of I believe six X-Titles.

Rating: C. Just ok here and nothing all that great. Lethal wasn’t exactly over yet and he wouldn’t be for a long time. At this point he was just a goofy 22 year old who did nothing but imitated a much better guy. Nothing to see here but for a big show they needed a title change so that’s all fine and good.

Eventually Kurt Angle would win all of the titles in TNA at one time, meaning he had to defend them all in one night. Lethal got the X-Division Title shot at No Surrender 2007.

X-Division Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jay Lethal

Fans are totally behind Lethal who has about zero chance, which means he’s likely to win. They try some speed stuff to start until Angle wakes up and uses his power and wrestling advantages. Double axe off the top by Lethal gets two. Angle is like boy I’m Kurt Angle and hits a buckle bomb to take over. Dang Angle vs. Savage would have been completely epic.

Down to the mat now and it’s almost all Angle. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Off to a chinlock but Lethal fights up and takes Angle down. Lethal speeds things up and gets an enziguri for two. This is all about Angle with Lethal just being there to fill in a place. HUGE release German changes the control with ease. I love those suplexes Angle throws. They’re things of beauty.

Lethal counters a slam into a DDT for two. He looks like an idiot with his hair going all over the place. He’s far better now and has filled out a bit too. Lethal goes up for the elbow but Angle climbs the ropes to get the suplex for two. Ankle lock goes on for a second but Lethal counters and gets a small package for two. Rolling Germans go on but Lethal kicks out. These near falls are getting very close.

Angle goes for the Slam but Lethal counters with an arm drag. Lethal Combination (sets for a downward spiral but drops the guy forward into his knee and then the downward spiral) gets….nothing as instead he drops the elbow for two. Dude you hit a move with your name in it. It was over!

Angle tries a powerbomb but Lethal reverses and gets a rollup for two. Angle drills him with another German for his trouble. There go the straps but the Slam is reversed. Ankle Lock is reversed into a rollup, and in what is probably the biggest upset in TNA history up to that point (and still one of the biggest ever), Lethal gets the pin and the title. The X-Division guys come out to celebrate as Lethal is shocked that he did that.

Rating: B+. Surprisingly enough this was very good. Something to keep in mind here: Lethal was an X-Division comedy guy and he just got a clean pin on the world champion. This was an excellent example of how you put someone over. Lethal won with a rollup, but he wasn’t dominated at all.

This was back and forth and they looked like equals. That’s how you put someone over: you make them look like they belong in the same ring as you. Just a pin out of nowhere after getting destroyed for ten minutes doesn’t prove anything. This was very good and a rather fun match. Check it out if you’re really bored as it might be Lethal’s best match ever.

After losing the title, Lethal would get a semi-rocket push up the card, landing in a feud where he teamed with the Motor City Machine Guns against Team 3D and Johnny Devine. Here’s one of their shotdowns at Against All Odds 2008.

Jay Lethal/Motor City Machineguns vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine

This is a hardcore street fight and Lethal had been rapidly rising through the ranks recently. I’d expect a showcase match for him here. It seems that any X guy can pin any evildoer to win the title because that’s how wrestling titles are supposed to be right? As expected it starts in the aisle. It’s Lethal vs. Ray on the table. Now those two are in the ring. The other four are off fighting…somewhere.

Lethal in control as the Guns are in the ring now. There’s a sign that says USE MY SIGN. Lethal takes it and it’s a Dead End street sign underneath the paper. Triple plancha by the X guys to take out the heels on the floor in a cool spot. Everyone in the ring now as the X guys have controlled the whole time. Triple Tornado DDT get 2’s all around. Someone brings in the weapons including an inflatable woman. Oh dear.

The kitchen sink is brought in of course because that’s been funny the last 19 times it’s been done right? Another triple cover gets two. The Dudleys get a double suplex on Lethal. The heels take over and the fans want tables. The X Guys take over again for a bit. This is one of those messes of a match which has no flow at all and is just a big fight that goes back and forth.

3D to Sabin and one for Shelley as well. Lethal takes D-Von down but Ray kills him with a clothesline. The fans still want tables. So Cal Val is crying over Lethal. This is before she turned on him I guess. Lethal flips off Ray as Val tries to intervene. Ray grabs her by the hair and whips out a cheese grater. He licks her face for no apparent reason until Lethal can make the save.

Big chair shot to the head of Ray by Lethal but D-Von pulls the referee out just in time. Remember what I said about Lethal doing this on his own? It’s literally 3-1 at this point and Lethal is getting near falls out there. Lethal Combination gets two on Devine and then he gets two on D-Von. He walks into a Bubba Bomb though which somehow only gets two. Dude the Guns have been down what, five minutes now on those 3Ds?

D-Von sets up the tables and the Dudleys are suddenly faces. Lethal fights off the Dudleys again but here’s Devine with that street sign. Jay gets it and pops Devine over the head with it, sending him to the table. Top rope elbow through the table and through Devine saves the X-Division. This match ran twelve and a half minutes and I kid you not it was 3-1 for at least four of those.

Rating: C+. Lethal dominance aside this was ok. The ending is completely absurd and Lethal looks way too good here, but the main issue is that this went on too long. The match was too wild and the first half is very hard to follow. Still though, not bad although I wasn’t bored at all with it. Exciting but not good for the most part, but I think that was the point so I’ll let it slide.

Next up was a feud with Sonjay Dutt over Lethal’s girlfriend So Cal Val. Since Russo used to book TNA, it was time for a gimmick match with a stupid name: a Black Tie Ball and Chain match at Hard Justice 2008. It means they’re in tuxedos and it’s a strap match.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal

Val has her wedding ring here which she didn’t have recently. They’re tied by a chain. Like any good heel, Dutt doesn’t want to put the chain on. While Dutt has his put on him, Lethal slips his off and chains his part to the rope. Lethal gets in some free shots and the tuxedos are making this look stupid. Lethal is in a white tux and Dutt is in black. Nice symbolism no?

Dutt manages to get the chain and slams it into the balls of Lethal. West: “You talk about a chain burn in the wrong place.” Dutt starts ripping off clothes but can’t hit a fist drop with chain wrapped around his fist. Lethal pounds away and rips off a sleeve. That must not be a well made jacket. Lethal throws him over the top and his arm shoots out which looked funny.

Lethal is in total control and Val isn’t happy with him. Dutt has been chained around the post and there goes his jacket and shirt. Scratch that as Dutt manages to get them back on. This is like a board game instead of a wrestling match. Dutt gets a cool move in as Lethal is standing on the floor and has his face on the apron. Dutt slides in and swings his feet around to kick Lethal in the face like a 619.

Jay keeps choking away and Val is freaking. She’s up on the apron begging him to stop and now is throwing her hands up and leaving. Dutt uses the distraction to pull Lethal shoulder first into the post. Lethal is in the Tree of Woe and is down to his pants and cummerbund. Lethal’s family is freaking out (it’s his home state remember). There’s a very light fire Russo chant. Now there’s a loud boring chant.

Dutt tries a springboard move but Lethal whips the chain down to send Dutt flying. That looked pretty cool. Lethal whips him from corner to corner and Dutt is in trouble. Lethal Combination is blocked so Jay hits an inverted powerbomb for two. Dutt gets him in a Stunner position and then jumps backwards, flipping over Lethal’s shoulders and slams his head into the mat. LOUD fire Russo chant now. Dutt tries something off the top but Lethal moves and hits a suplex for two. Lethal Combination hits and the top rope elbow (he’s the Macho Man character) gets the pin. Yes after all that, the clothes meant NOTHING.

Rating: C. The match was ok but the clothes thing got really old really fast. The problem is you already have a gimmick in place with the chain. Having two gimmicks in a single match is too much and it overly complicates things which it did here. Not a bad match but the gimmick got in the way of the match, which is Russo 101 when he’s not on his game.

Lethal would become part of a tag team with Consequences Creed called Lethal Consequences. They would cash in Feast or Fired (TNA’s Money in the Bank) to win the belts three days before Genesis 2009. Here’s a title defense from that PPV.

Tag Titles: Lethal Consequences vs. Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

Abyss has some wicked cool blue fire for his entrance. Morgan and Abyss are arguing apparently lately. This was supposed to be a regular tag match but we threw in another team just for the heck of it. The Boozer Cruiser debuts here. Roode might have a slight knee injury. Very slow to start us off here with Storm and Creed starting us off. That sounds like the opening lineup for a concert.

This is really boring with nothing of note going on about two minutes in. I still don’t get the point in making this a threeway. It just doesn’t help at all as far as I can tell. Everyone beats up Beer Money, which tells me they’ll win. Stereo dive/flip by the champions to take out Beer Money. Morgan and Abyss haven’t done much at all here.

Morgan goes up top and takes out all four of them with a BIG dive off the top. Sweet one. The best team in this misses a double bulldog on Abyss and then do their shot which they haven’t perfected yet. West talks about how great the tag division is and he’s more or less right. The division is indeed better than WWE’s, which isn’t saying much really. Creed takes out Beer Money again which has been a running theme so far.

This is just kind of dragging along here. It’s not particularly bad and the high spots are helping it out, but this just isn’t getting going. Then again it might be that there’s no real drama here. I really would have preferred a standard match as the third team is just cluttering things up out there. Storm has a cowboy hat on now for no apparent reason.

What is the obsession in wrestling with cowboys? There are cowboy characters everywhere and there almost always have been. What is the deal with that? Cowboys are cool I guess but why do we have to have at least one in every promotion? Lethal comes in and cleans some house as Morgan and Abyss stay on the apron for about 80% of the match so far. Morgan saves a pin though.

Lethal can’t hurt Abyss with punches so Abyss grabs him and gives him a chokebreaker which looked sick. It’s a big mess now as everyone goes for their finishers. Roode hits a Blockbuster on Morgan for two again. Belt is tossed in and Abyss misses a shot with it so that Roode can cover him. Since it’s TNA though that’s too simple so we do like three more things and THEN Roode gets the pin on Morgan.

Rating: D. This was ok but sweet goodness it was just boring at times. I still don’t get why they had to have three teams in there. The match was ok but it just never clicked at all. This was more about Morgan and Abyss splitting up which they more or less do after the match, but why did we need Lethal Consequences in there to do that? They were thrown in less than a week before, so what’s the point? Match was just too crowded.

Lethal would start falling down the card soon after this, only being able to get a random six man tag at Sacrifice 2009.

Eric Young/Lethal Consequences vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir/Motor City Machine Guns

Hey look it’s a totally pointless cruiserweight match! The Guns are heels here and have the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles. You know, because two small guys like them could never hold the REAL tag titles right? Bashir is in World Elite at this point and is of course the EVIL Muslim. Young is just Eric Young here and isn’t a coward or crazy etc. His partners are a parody of Savage and Apollo Creed’s idiotic nephew. Sure why not.

We’re 20 seconds into this match and West is already on my nerves. Sabin and Lethal start us off. Rollup by Sabin gets two on Young as the Canadian is in trouble. We talk about the main event because no one cares about these twerps in the ring right? It’s just a bunch of random moves at a slightly faster than average pace. Shelley starts his series of kicks and tags in the Sheik.

I know I’m not saying a lot here but there’s just nothing of note. It’s a six man match with no real rhyme or reason to anything. The match isn’t bad or anything but it’s just a meaningless 15 minute match that goes nowhere and proves nothing. Big old double dive by Creed and Young to pop the crowd pretty well. Diamond Cutter by Sabin takes out Young. There’s a lot of high spots and double team moves going on with tagging being completely forgotten but it’s nothing spectacular. It’s good though.

Creed hits a DDT and Lethal gets two off of it, making one of the funniest faces appear on Lethal’s face. Sabin takes down with a hard spank. I wish I was making that up but it’s TNA so did you expect something else? Bashir hits a move similar to what Kaz was using recently with that Piledriver move on Lethal for two. In our unhyped move of the match, Young gets a Death Valley Driver on both Guns at once. Naturally this is treated like a basic chop because TNA’s announcers have to shout later on about basic moves. A sunset flip from Lethal to Bashir ends it seconds later.

Rating: B-. Fun match but again it’s just random cruiserweight stuff. Definitely good, but at the same time it kind of makes me say so what? Them dropping the whole tagging aspect a few minutes in was definitely the right idea as since this was supposed to be totally insane having them tag would have been dumb. This was a great choice for an opener as the crowd was into it and the faces won.

We’ll jump ahead a little over a year. Lethal would win and lose the X Title a few more times, eventually challenging Robbie E. for the belt on Impact from December 16, 2010.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Robbie E

At least Cookie looks good. Lethal jumps him for a fast start. Cookie trips Lethal seconds into it and his nose slams into the mat. Here comes Christy bouncing down the ramp with a pair of handcuffs to hook herself to Cookie. It’s a new zany comedy coming this Fall! We take a break with Robbie hammering on Lethal in the corner.

Back with Lethal getting a small package for two. Robbie gets a nice Russian leg sweep for two. The girls start fighting at ringside which means Christy beats on her. ReAction starts at 11:30 tonight only. Hopefully that’s a permanent thing. Lethal gets a suplex to take over again. We cut to Christy jumping in excitement. I regain consciousness as Lethal gets a nice top rope elbow for two.

Robbie gets a rollup with the ropes for two but gets caught as he goes up top. Superplex by Lethal has Robbie and the title in big trouble. Cookie tries to slip the spray in to Robbie get it winds up in her own eyes. Lethal Injection gives Jay his 6th title reign at 7:00 shown out of 10:30 total. Jay kisses Christy post match.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here but all the interference and focus on the girls hurt a bit. This wasn’t terrible and Lethal should have the title again. At least we don’t have to see Robbie on TV as much anymore. Pretty good match and the longest Impact match I can remember in awhile.

Lethal would leave TNA soon after this and hit the indies, including a promotion called FWE. Here’s a match from their Meltdown show on May 14, 2011.

Eric Young vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is doing a Jeff Jarrett imitation tonight, though he’s in regular attire. Eric has the original TNA World Title belt with him here as part of a stupid gimmick he was doing in TNA. Before the match, Lethal thanks the fans that have stayed through the long show and promises that he and Young will put on a great show. They start fast by running the ropes and trading leg trips into two counts each for a stalemate.

Back up and they run the ropes a bit more until Lethal hits a Tajiri handspring elbow for two. They hit the ropes even more until a back elbow puts Lethal on the floor. Jay stops again and asks a fan for a coin. Everyone knows he can do a pretty good Macho Man and Ric Flair impression so here’s his plan: if it’s heads he’ll wrestle as Ric Flair but if it’s tails he’ll wrestle as Randy Savage. Young looks at the coin and gets chopped down, setting up the strut from Lethal.

Some right hands put Young down for two and a knee drop gets the same. Young comes back with chops of his own followed by a big clothesline to put Jay on the floor. Eric puts the coin in his pocket in a funny bit. Lethal grabs the mic again and says he’s going to snap into Young and comes back in with a knee to the ribs followed by a top rope ax handle for two. A clothesline puts Young on the apron and he does a Flair strut of his own.

Back in and Jay walks into a running forearm for two but gets his boot up to stop a diving Young. They hold the poses for about 30 seconds with Young standing there as Lethal gets to his feet. Jay puts on some local sports jersey as Young literally lays down for the Macho Elbow and a two count. Eric steals the jersey and this time it’s Lethal laying down for the elbow and two. A superplex puts Jay down but Lethal kicks his legs into the air to tie up Eric’s legs for a pin on Young.

Rating: C-. Eh it’s an indy show so I can give this a break. FWE stands for Family Wrestling Entertainment and a lot of younger fans probably got a kick out of this match. It wasn’t meant to be anything epic andit didn’t come off as such. Lethal was amusing for the most part and Young kept it serious out there save for that standing still bit so it was much more lighthearted than anything else.  THe Jarrett impression didn’t go anywhere.

Lethal would head to ROH soon after this and get into the TV Title hunt. Here he is challenging champion El Generico on ROH TV from October 1, 2011.

TV Title: Jay Lethal vs. El Generico

Well they have a lot of time for this one at least with over 20 minutes to go. And never mind as Kelly tells us there’s a 15 minute time limit. McGuinness wants to know why he’s more tanned than Generico who is from Mexico. Generico speeds things up to take over early. Lethal is like “I can do moves that are flashy but don’t really hurt that much either!” Backbreaker gets two for Lethal but Lethal hooks on some weird surfboard variation with a Texas Cloverleaf leg grip.

Dropkick gets two for Lethal. Generico speeds things up with arm drags and hits a huge swan dive over the top to take Lethal out as we go to a break. Back with Lethal in control after Generico hit a moonsault off the guardrail. Ok scratch that as Generico gets two off something we missed while watching a replay. Lethal gets a sunset flip for two. This isn’t much of a match but indy fans would love it.

They slug it out and Lethal is sent to the top for a missile dropkick. With three minutes remaining in a 15 minute time limit we’re heading for a time limit draw (at the 12 minute mark that is). Lethal Injection gets two. Generico walks the corner and hits most of a tornado DDT for two. There’s a minute left. Blue Thunder Bomb (go play No Mercy for a description) gets two and we have thirty seconds left. Time expires at 12:40 which is including the commercial time.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one as well as I was supposed to I don’t think. There wasn’t much of a story to it other than two not very high fliers doing their thing. It wasn’t bad or anything but it wasn’t this epic confrontation that they were shooting for. Still though, pretty good although the ending is kind of stupid. Oh of course that isn’t the finish.

At 2:54 Jim Cornette comes out and says we have three minutes left in the show so put three minutes on the clock and get to it.

They slug it out like crazy after being all respectful. Generico hits the Yakuza kick and a half nelson suplex for two. Generico loads up the Brainbuster but Lethal escapes and goes up for a top rope elbow but Generico moves and the Brainbuster is blocked again. There’s the elbow for two. A snap suplex sets up a second Yakuza kick but Lethal counters with a superkick and the Lethal Combination (called the Injection here) for the pin and the title at 2:24 of overtime. The overtime was better than the regular match.

Lethal would start a feud with the undefeated Tomomaso Ciampa and face him at Border Wars 2012.

Jay Lethal vs. Tommaso Ciampa

Ciampa is part of the Embassy, a heel stable. He jumps Lethal to start but gets pulled out to the floor for a brawl before the bell. Lethal pounds away on Ciampa but Tommaso comes back with a hard chop to send him against the railing. Ciampa lowers his knee pad and charges at Jay, only to slam his own knee into the barricade. He shakes the pain off though and sends Lethal into the barricade a few times but the fans chant for Kevin Steen for no apparent reason. This is all still before the bell.

Lethal comes back with a catapult to launch Ciampa face first into the entrance to shift control again. Jay finally heads inside with Ciampa down on the floor but one of the Embassy guys breaks up a suicide dive bid. The distraction lets Ciampa get in a quick to Lethal’s head for a two, a few seconds after the bell finally rings. Tommaso chokes away on the apron before putting on a very modified dragon sleeper.

Ciampa pounds away in the corner including going after Lethal’s eye for a bit. This is slowing way down and it’s not exactly entertaining stuff at this point. Apparently Ciampa is undefeated for like two years coming into this. Jay gets in a shot to the head and they slug it out very slowly. You really shouldn’t be at a last man standing slugout just four minutes into a match.

Lethal takes over and Ciampa is in trouble. Again just four minutes into the match, which is too little for being so tired. Yeah they brawled, so maybe it was ten minutes in total to make them that exhausted. As usual, I don’t care for the psychology in Ring of Honor. Lethal has to beat up the other Embassy guys, allowing for Ciampa to hit a lariat for two. Jay counters a sunset flip into a rollup for two of his own before being caught by a HARD knee to the head for a near fall.

Another knee to the head in the corner puts Lethal down and there goes the knee pad for several more knees to the head. Lethal counters a powerbomb into an Alabama Slam into the corner but again has to deal with the Embassy leader. A small package gets two for Ciampa (I think) and now Lethal is getting fired up. He goes off on Ciampa and hits a handspring into the ropes into a cutter, apparently called Lethal Injection, for two.

Yet another Embassy guy (these are just guys in suits and not important enough to identify properly) interferes but Lethal slugs him down and gets two off a top rope elbow. Ciampa tells Lethal to come at him, so Jay hooks him in a Rock Bottom position and drives him down onto Lethal’s knee in ten straight backbreakers followed by a downward spiral for Ciampa’s first loss.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s the entirety of my thoughts on the match. Lethal has never been a guy I’ve cared about at all and Ciampa didn’t show me anything of note here. The ending was just stupid with Ciampa telling him to come for him and Lethal just doing the same move over and over again before getting the win. Also the guys being spent just a few minutes into it still doesn’t work for me at all.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Lethal’s most recent (as of May 2014) big moments. From Supercard of Honor VIII in the culmination of an on again off again two year feud.

TV Title: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jay Lethal

Ciampa is defending and this is 2/3 falls. This is where the fans were getting restless as you could see a lot of them looking at their phones and the chants started to die a bit. Ciampa takes off his knee brace for the first time since his injury in a symbolic move. Feeling out process to start as they trade headlocks and rollups for two each. A hiptoss puts the champion down and Lethal cartwheels over to a standoff.

They chop it out in the corner but Lethal misses a springboard dropkick. Jay kicks him into the barricade and nails a suicide dive followed by a second one for good measure. A third puts Ciampa into the crowd and the fans chant for ROH. Why they don’t chant for Lethal is beyond me, but it’s happened since the ECW days. Lethal is whipped into the barricade and Ciampa hits a running knee so fast that he falls right back into the crowd. The referee restarts the count for no apparent reason before Ciampa throws Jay back inside.

Jay comes back with some kicks to the head and a dropkick in the corner for two until Ciampa bites Jay’s hand to escape. Lethal tries a Tajiri handspring elbow but gets caught in what was supposed to be a Backstabber. They fight over a suplex until they both go over the top in a big crash. Neither guy gets the better of a slugout and they both slide back inside at the 19 count, which didn’t please the fans in my section. Another Tajiri handspring is countered but Lethal grabs a German suplex for the pin and the first fall.

There’s no rest period so gets in a quick shot to the head and they trade near falls. Lethal Combination (backbreaker into a Downward Spiral) sets up a Koji Clutch on the champion but he counters into a Rings of Saturn Crossface. Jay gets his feet into the ropes though and it’s time for another slugout. Again neither guy can get the better of it so Jay tries another Tajiri handspring but gets caught in a Diamond Cutter, which apparently is the finish to the handspring.

Lethal busts out Ciampa’s finisher (powerbomb into double knees to the back) for two but ANOTHER Tajiri handspring hits the referee. Ciampa rolls some Germans and hits a discus lariat to put both guys down. This brings out Truth Martini who throws Jay the knee brace. He nails Ciampa in the face for two before nailing the top rope elbow, only to have Ciampa Hulk Up. Some superkicks have no effect but Lethal FINALLY hits the handspring into the cutter for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be as the second fall could have been cut out to the same result. The ending really didn’t work for me either as Lethal knocked Ciampa out but they did another minute or so, making the entire knee brace thing seem completely worthless. Just too long here, but I’ve never been a Jay Lethal fan in the first place.

Lethal is a case where I just don’t get it. He’s not horrible but I really don’t see why so many people like the guy. Part of it is I see the guy who used to imitate Macho Man and that’s a really hard gimmick to get away from. He just comes across as a guy who shouldn’t be as big a deal as he is, though he’s certainly not bad in the ring.

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Slammiversary is looming and Eric Young doesn’t have a challenger yet. The problem with having a champion that defends every week is you quickly run out of fresh matchups, so TNA is either going to have to turn someone or bring someone up the card in a hurry. Other than that we get to see Bully want to put Dixie through a table in about 19 segments tonight. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today Bully Ray was driving to Nashville at the TNA offices to find Dixie Carter, thereby complying with MVP’s wishes to not go after her at the Impact Zone.

We recap Eric Young defending the title every week.

Speaking of Eric, here he is in street clothes to get things going. He talks about how awesome the reign has been but there’s one hiccup. Eric promised to defend the title every week but since MVP hasn’t booked him in a match, he’s going to book himself in one. We have an open challenge for tonight and here’s Bobby Roode.

Bobby goes on a LONG rant about how great he is before Eric says that Roode got a shot last week and got pinned. Roode says it wasn’t fair because he had to wrestle twice last week and goes on another rant about their history together in Team Canada. If Young gives him another shot and wins, Roode will never ask for another match. Young says ok as this segment took about eight minutes longer than it needed to.

MVP tells Young that he can’t do that and suggests Young take a few weeks off. If Young will, MVP guarantees that his opponent at Slammiversary will be someone Young has never faced before.

Madison Rayne/Brittany vs. Beautiful People

Evening Gown match under elimination rules. The Beautiful People are in black and their opponents are in white to make sure the alignment is clear. Velvet and Angelina double team Brittany in the corner to start as they’re actually treating this like a real match so far. Brittany fights up and makes the tag off to Madison who does moves that make sure her skirt flies up. Madison can’t strip Velvet’s gown though, allowing Love to trip Brittany up so Velvet can strip her for an elimination as we take a break.

Back with Madison down 2-1 and getting double teamed. It doesn’t last long though as Madison fights off both girls and is able to quickly strip Velvet to get us down to one on one. Madison has control for a bit until Velvet flashes the referee, allowing Angelina to spray her in the face and get the win at 11:00.

Rating: D+. They looked good, this was barely wrestling, next.

Dixie is in a bad mood and walks away from Spud, who is in a leopard print coat.

We recap Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle.

Bram tells Magnus to become his old self again.

Kurt Angle vs. Ethan Carter III

Angle goes after the arm to start but Ethan backs off. A snap suplex sets up the Rolling Germans to Ethan but Angle falls down holding his bad knee. Angle tries to fight back with a German suplex but the knee is just gone. Ethan gets in a quick chop block and pins Angle at 3:27.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the injury took up a good chunk of the match. I’ll give them points for keeping Ethan so strong and I kind of like not having Angle beat him with ease. It’s making Ethan look like a much bigger deal which is something TNA really needs to do.

After a break, Angle says he felt the knee pop.

Here’s MVP with something to say. He talks about how demanding this company is and how the fans are even more demanding. However, he can’t have Eric Young making his own matches because wrestlers are supposed to wrestle so TNA can abide. “And hey, the Dude abides right?” MVP says he has a major announcement about who Eric will face at Slammiversary but here’s Bobby Roode to interrupt. Roode says the same stuff he said to Eric and demands the title match tonight. MVP has the same reply that Eric did (you lost last week) and the brawl is on. The fans want to see it but referees break it up.

Bully is in Nashville but Spud says he’s not welcome here. Bully goes into her office anyway, yells at Spud for wearing green socks and sits in Dixie’s chair. He gets on the phone and tells the secretary to get the staff together for a meeting. Oh and a sandwich.

Knux and company are here. Rebel is in a rather revealing outfit and dancing with fire. A wooden crate comes up and Knux says it’s someone’s home.

Roode is ejected by security.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Bro Mans

It’s a ladder match and the challengers (Bro Mans) get a jobber entrance. Zema shoves the ladder over in the aisle to distract the champions, allowing the Bro Mans to jump them from behind with the ladder. Back inside and we get the bell but the Wolves are right there for the save. The Wolves load up the baseball slide into the ladder but the Bro Mans lift it up like a gate. The champions go back inside and set up a double suicide dive, only to hit the ladder faces first.

Jesse drops Davey chest first onto the barricade as the Bro Mans take over. They set up a ladder between the ring and some steps in the aisle but Davey escapes a suplex onto said ladder. All four climb a pair of ladders in the ring and a set of headbutts put all four back on the mat. Jesse makes a save by jumping up the ladder to stop Davey before Eddie suplexes Jesse over the top and out to the floor, only to fall out himself as well. Davey puts Robbie on the bridged ladder for the double stomp from the top as everyone is down again. The Wolves climb up, throw Zema over the top and onto the Bro Mans, and retain the belts at 7:00.

Rating: C+. There were some big spots in there but it’s another gimmick match that doesn’t really mean anything and doesn’t have the time to go anywhere because TNA flies through their shows as fast as they can. Much like the Ascension in NXT though, there aren’t many teams to challenge for the belts now and it’s going to get repetitive watching them beat up the Bro Mans over and over again.

Crazy Steve and the Freak (Rob Terry in a mask) break out of the crate.

Spud has lost Bully Ray.

Kazarian vs. Knux

The Menagerie is a carnival themed stable comprised of Knux, his good looking sister Rebel, two men on stilts, Crazy Steve (a clown) and the Freak (a masked muscle man). Kaz jumps Knux from behind to start but is easily thrown down. He does score with a top rope missile dropkick and a kick to the jaw but stops to yell at Crazy Steve. Kaz turns around and runs into the Freak, allowing Knux to throw him back into the ring. A Sky High powerbomb is enough for the pin on Kaz at 2:16.

Spud goes into the staff’s office and runs down Ray, only to turn around and see Ray behind him. Ray: “Get us a case of beer!” Spud: “It’s 11am!” Ray: “You’re right. Get us two.” Spud leaves and the staff says the new motto is Bully Fears Dixie. Ray has an idea of how to fix this.

As a result of the incidents last week, Anderson faces Storm next week.

Gunner tells Anderson that Storm is lying whenever he talks.

Dixie’s staff is now all drunk and in Bully Ray shirts. Spud panics and gets on the table to calm everything down. Ray says he’ll let Spud have the drones back if he tells Ray where Dixie is. Spud says he doesn’t know so Ray offers to leave if Spud will have one beer with him. Spud drinks it and gets powerbombed through a table. Ray steals his phone and gets Dixie’s address.

Willow talks about getting screwed over in the Dixieland match which started the evolution into what he is now. He wants revenge on Magnus.

Magnus vs. Willow

Willow gets jumped during his entrance as Bram looks on approvingly. A hard elbow drop gets two for the Brit but Willow fights up with a Whisper in the Wind and the flying forearm. The seated dropkick and mule kick put Magnus in the corner but he rolls outside. That’s fine for Willow as he kicks Magnus down and hits that sliding splash. As they head back inside though, Bram sends Willow into the steps for the DQ at 2:32.

Post match Willow is handcuffed to the ropes and attacked with a turnbuckle hook.

Angle has a broken bone in his leg and a torn ACL.

MVP calls out Eric for the announcement of the Slammiversary opponent. The boss asks the fans to cheer for the champ and says there’s nothing Eric can’t accomplish. He says Eric deserves the best competition there is, so here’s the opponent. Eric looks at the stage and MVP lays him out with a chain around his fist. He says he’ll see Eric at Slammiversary to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked tonight’s show for the most part but there are still problems. First of all they are setting up stuff for the future, but at the end of the day it’s still for Eric Young defending against the latest heel power figure. Actually he’s one of two current heel power figures as Ray is off in Nashville chasing after Dixie. That being said, there was some interesting stuff here and some fresh matches, so the good outweighs the bad. I just really hope the MVP stuff doesn’t dominate the show, which is about as stupid of a hope as I can have at this point.

Results
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Brittany – Love ripped off Madison’s dress
Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle – Chop block
Wolves b. Bro Mans – Wolves pulled down the belts
Knux b. Kazarian – Sky High
Willow b. Magnus via DQ when Bram interfered
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This is one of TNA’s rare PPVs and it’s actually coming on the heels of another. That being said, there’s not a ton of interesting stuff happening in TNA at the moment. The big stories are Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode in a tables match and Eric Young vs. Magnus II for the World Title, which isn’t doing much for me as a main event feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is narrated by Eric Young and talks about how Eric isn’t the typical champion and how he’s doing all of this for the people. Magnus says he’s above Eric and the people and was born to be a champion. TNA actually claiming this isn’t taken from Daniel Bryan makes me chuckle.

Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans/Zema Ion vs. Wolves

It’s three on two with the Bro Mans/Zema defending. They’ve cheated time after time to keep the titles using help from whichever member wasn’t in the match at the time so tonight everyone is in the match at the same time. Before the match Eddie gets on the mic and asks Christy to read something. It’s a note from MVP saying this is now No DQ.

The Wolves clean house to start and low bridge the champions to the floor before LAUNCHING Ion over the top to the floor. Stereo dives take the Bro Mans out again before the Wolves take turns mauling Zema with whatever painful looking strikes they can think of. Ion finally gets in a shot with his laptop to put Eddie down and the champions take over. Davey is dropped throat first onto the barricade as we finally get down to one on one.

Jesse gets two on Edwards off a powerslam before Robbie comes in to choke with some tape. Off to Ion who gets slapped in the face but comes back with a hard elbow to keep Eddie in trouble. Back to Robbie for a chinlock before the champions start double teaming Edwards. A nice dropkick from Jesse gets two but he gets caught in a belly to back suplex. The numbers game keeps the champions in control though as Ion pulls Richards off the apron and prevents a tag.

Back in and Eddie takes both Bro Mans down with a double hurricanrana before the hot tag brings in Richards. Davey cleans house and throws Robbie into Zema for a front facelock (as in Ion has Robbie in the hold) before dropkicking Ion down, forcing him to DDT Robbie at the same time. That was so contrived looking I can’t begin to comprehend it. The Wolves dominate the champions and hit the double double stomp on Jesse for the pin and the titles at 10:15. Tenay’s reaction is as unemotional as I have ever heard for a title change.

Rating: C. Very stupid DDT spot aside, this was a nice choice for an opener. The fans love the Wolves and reacted well enough to the title change, but the impact is kind of lost due to this being the second time they’ve won the belts. The No DQ stipulation wasn’t needed at all here and was only used for the laptop spot, which could have easily been a knee to the back.

Samuel Shaw says he’s a perfectly normal man and will send Anderson to the mental institution tonight.

We recap Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson. Basically Shaw is nuts and stalked Christy Hemme so Anderson is fighting for her. Shaw’s mom is named Christy and is straight out of a horror movie, offering everyone pie and acting like her son is perfectly normal.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

Commitment Match, meaning you have to take your opponent outside and put him in a van to win and the loser goes to a mental institution. Shaw runs away from Anderson to start and Christy is at ringside. After hiding behind Christy, Shaw is sent into the post, apron and barricade to give Anderson the early advantage. They head inside with Shaw nailing Anderson in the ribs with a shoulder but missing a charge and falling back to the floor.

Shaw grabs the standing choke on the floor and puts him out in a few moments but now has to drag him to the back. Instead he drags Christy inside and says she’s coming with him whether she likes it or not. Christy slaps him in the face but Shaw seems to like it. The distraction lets Anderson get back up and nail a clothesline and neckbreaker to send Shaw crawling up the aisle. Anderson says no no no and sends him into the barricade before kicking Samuel in the face.

A Mic Check off the stage is countered with some elbows but Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry instead. He says Shaw is going for a little ride but first it’s a chair to Shaw’s ribs and back. Anderson whips him into the barricade again and they head into the interview area.

They find JB and Anderson makes him interview Shaw while holding him in a headlock. Shaw is put on a cart and wheeled into some metal boxes as they find the van. The distraction of opening the doors lets Samuel get in a few cheap shots as Christy comes in. She distracts him before hitting Shaw low and there’s a Mic Check to send Shaw into the van for the win at 10:30.

Rating: D+. Well that….happened. I doubt this is the end of the feud because it’s TNA and things don’t end after a few gimmick matches, but there’s no reason for them to keep going. At least Christy didn’t turn on Anderson to side with Shaw like I was expecting, but there’s still time for her to do something stupid like that.

Ethan Carter says he didn’t do anything wrong by beating Kurt Angle because it was all about making a name for himself. Angle has been in the ring with a bunch of legends and won a bunch of titles, but there’s one man that Angle will never ever (repeat about 15 times) and that’s Ethan Carter. Spud doesn’t like Willow either.

Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III vs. Willow/Kurt Angle

Carter hides in the ropes to avoid Kurt to start before quickly tagging in Spud. Angle just stares as Spud tries to get fired up before threatening to knock Spud all the way back to England. Back to Carter as we’re over a minute and a half in with no contact. Ethan bails to the floor as the stalling continues. Back in and Angle tries an ankle lock but Carter dives over to tag Spud in. The Englishman goes outside too as we’ve had about 15 seconds of action in three minutes.

Willow gets the tag and dives onto both guys who fail to catch him, allowing Willow to crash onto the floor. He was holding the umbrella at the time so the fans chant Mary Poppins. Angle misses a charge into the steps and Willow has to take both heels down with a Whisper in the Wind back inside. Carter gets in a cheap shot though and Spud hammers away to take over. A snap suplex gets two on Willow as Angle is still down on the floor. I’d guess he’s still hurt given how much he’s been laying around.

The double teaming continues until Angle sneaks in for some rolling Germans on Carter. There’s the ankle lock but Spud tries to make the save with a sleeper. That goes about as well as you would expect and it’s an ankle lock on Spud until Carter chop blocks Kurt down. Willow breaks up a leg lock and cleans house until Spud is left alone in the ring against both good guys. Twist of Fate into the Angle Slam into the Swanton is good for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. This could have closed the first hour of any episode of Impact. Angle isn’t ready to come back full time yet after that knee injury and in that case, he needs to sit down again for awhile. It’s obvious that they’re hiding his condition and that’s fine, but it doesn’t make for interesting matches. I’m assuming Carter doesn’t lose until BFG.

Eric Young loves when the fans cheer for him and he’s not losing the title because it makes him feel too good.

Knux and his girlfriend are coming back to TNA. She says he’ll get all the rebel he can handle, which I think is her name. Knux says there will be two other people joining them: Crazy Steve and the Freak. Rebel isn’t pleased.

Video on Sanada winning the X Title and how important it is in Japan.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno

This is the third match in a best of three series for the title. Feeling out process to start and they trade some near falls until it’s a standoff. A hurricanrana puts Tigre down to the floor for a breather before Sanada catches him in a rolling cradle for two. Tigre comes back with a rollup of his own and a kick gets the same. A freaky looking neck lock (think a headscissors on the mat with Tigre cranking on the arm) has Sanada in trouble but he quickly counters into a dragon sleeper.

Tigre escapes again and tries a springboard but gets dropkicked out of the air in a nice counter. Back up and a Jericho springboard dropkick sends Sanada out to the floor. A sloppy flip dive takes out Sanada again but he’s able to get his knees up to block a moonsault back inside.

Sanada hits a pair of springboard chops to the head drops Tigre but he comes back with a release suplex to send Sanada into the ropes. The challenger goes up top but gets pulled down with a top rope hurricanrana. Sanada misses his top rope moonsault and Tigre escapes the dragon suplex. A cradle DDT puts Sanada down again but he avoids a Phoenix Splash, setting up the moonsault to retain the title at 9:40.

Rating: C. Take two guys and let them fly around for a few minutes. They didn’t mean anything at all and it was pretty much every single cruiserweight match ever in WCW that didn’t have Mysterio, Kidman or Guerrera. I also have no idea why this was a best of three series as it meant nothing at all.

James Storm promises to cut Gunner down to size.

We recap the I Quit match. Storm and Gunner randomly teamed up just under a year ago before turning on each other after losing the titles to the Bro Mans. This is I believe their fourth gimmick match of the feud.

James Storm vs. Gunner

I quit match. They slug it out to start with Storm getting the better of it and knocking Gunner out to the floor. Storm whips him into the barricade hard enough to knock it over on top of Gunner. They fight over the steps with Gunner taking over with a hard clothesline. Gunner throws him back inside and finds a trashcan filled with toys. Storm kicks the ropes low into Gunner as they come back inside before an Elevated Stunner (think Orton) but Gunner won’t quit.

A pair of chair shots still won’t make Gunner quit and a cookie sheet still doesn’t do the trick. Storm chokes away in the corner until Guner FINALLY comes back with a running knee to the face to take over. It’s time for the first weapon from Gunner as he grabs a trashcan lid and blasts Storm in the head over and over. Storm finally gets one of his own for a duel but Gunner keeps control.

Gunner nails a swan dive but this time it’s Storm that won’t quit. Instead Gunner tries a charge but goes hard into the post to change control again. Storm sends him into the post one more time and plants Gunner with an Elevated DDT on the floor. Naturally Gunner isn’t ready to quit yet and Storm is getting frustrated.

Storm finds the beer bottle and blasts Gunner in the head to cut him open but of course Gunner won’t quit. Off to a Boston crab of all things but Gunner is quickly in the ropes. Some belt shots to the back have Gunner in trouble and there’s the Last Call to put him down again. He still won’t quit though so Storm just rips at the cut to draw more blood. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle and screams NEVER before hitting three straight F5s.

With nothing else to do, Gunner sets up the two chairs in the ring and bridges the barricade across it. A HUGE superplex puts Storm through the steel and both guys are almost done. Gunner picks up a piece of the beer bottle and drives it into Storm’s head to make him quit at 19:04.

Rating: B-. Now NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. Yeah the match wasn’t bad but I just don’t need to see this match ever again. We get it: Gunner can beat James Storm. Now let us find out what he can do against someone else. Gunner getting the spot instead of Young makes more sense, but I guess Young’s goofiness is just better for business. Or something.

Angelina Love says Madison Rayne is a charity case and tonight she’ll win her sixth Knockout Title.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is defending and quickly knocks Angelina out to the floor with a shoulder. Angelina has a meeting with Velvet Sky and comes back in for a headlock and shoulder of her own. Madison takes her down with a nice trip but can’t use the headscissors face slam into the mat. Instead it’s a baseball slide to send Love back to the floor but she sends a following Rayne face first into the apron.

Back inside and the Beautiful People take turns choking on the ropes and in the corner to little avail. Madison gets a quick sunset flip for two but gets sent to the floor where she beats on Velvet a bit. Back in and the challenger puts on a figure four with her legs in a nice touch. An enziguri puts Love down again though and now the face slam works.

Velvet tries to help her friend but the champ dives on both of them in an awesome visual. They head inside again and it’s the Rayne Drop for two. Angelina’s Botox Injection (Brogue Kick) gets the same and the fit is thrown. Madison comes back with a spear but Velvet sprays her in the eyes with hairspray, allowing Love to roll Rayne up with a handful of tights for the pin and the title at 8:15.

Rating: C-. It’s a Knockouts match so you’ve seen the whole thing before at least a few times. Angelina winning the title again makes sense in storyline terms but it’s still nothing new. I don’t really care about the Beautiful People reunion as it feels like we’ve traveled back in time instead of doing something that might get people to care. That almost never works in wrestling, at least when the past act is the focus.

Bully Ray starts a tables chant and promises to put Bobby Roode through the wood.

We recap Ray vs. Roode, which is fallout from Lockdown where Ray turned on Roode and cost his team the main event. They’ve put each other through tables ever since, setting up this tables match.

Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode

Tables match. They slug it out to start with the Bully getting the advantage and nailing a nice backdrop. A side slam has Roode in trouble and Bobby is bleeding from the lip. The Flip Flop and Fly has Roode down again and it’s already table time. Ray takes too much time though and Roode gets in a shot to take over. Bobby knocks him off the apron but can’t drive Ray through a table.

Back in and Ray hits a dropkick of all things but takes too much time getting a table, allowing Roode to come back with a nice neckbreaker. Bobby sets up a table in the corner and they fight over a suplex with neither guy being able to pull it off. With that not working, Bobby shoves him into the corner and yells a lot before kicking Ray in the chest. He loads up Ray’s powerbomb but gets backdropped down for his efforts.

Roode snaps Ray’s throat across the top rope but Bully chops the skin off Bobby’s chest back inside. Neither guy can hit a powerbomb through the tables and there goes the referee. Of course now Ray is able to powerbomb Roode through the table with no one seeing it but the fans.

Ray goes to get another table but takes too long, allowing Roode to hit a spinebuster. The Roode Bomb through the table doesn’t work so Bobby goes up, only to dive into the cutter. Ray puts Roode on two tables at ringside before going up top, only to have Dixie Carter in a beard (seriously) appear and shove him through the tables to give Roode the win at 13:55.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but the ending made my head hurts. As I said earlier, we’ve seen these two put each other through tables for weeks now and seeing it happen again at a bearded Dixie Carter’s hands (I can’t get over that) doesn’t make it any more interesting. It’s just something else that happened and it’s not much to see.

Magnus says that he’ll show Eric Young what a wrestling champion is tonight. He has no backup so he can prove his biggest criticism wrong. Magnus: “You can call me Wreck-It Ralph because there’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

We recap Magnus vs. Eric Young. Eric won a gauntlet match for a shot at the title later in the night where he won the belt in a shocker. Tonight is Magnus’ rematch which is basically people’s champion vs. man destined to be a champion. This gets a music video treatment which is basically a career retrospective for Young.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Eric Young

We get the big match intros and Eric is defending. The fans of course chant USA for the Canadian champion. Magnus gets in Young’s face to start and shoves him into the corner as we get a SUPER ERIC chant. Young comes back and takes the Brit down before walking over his spine. Back up and they trade headlocks until Magnus cranks on both of Eric’s arms with a knee in the back. Eric rolls out with ease and Magnus heads outside to think about it.

The champ hits a nice plancha to take Magnus down and the fans chant EY. It’s so nice that we look at it again and the background is missing, so instead of a graphic in the back it’s the same video that is on the mini screen in the replay. Eric dives off the apron into a belly to belly (replay again and this one works) to give Magnus control. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Young followed by a knee that might have been low.

Eric tries to fight back but gets caught in a drop toehold into a camel clutch. We get a light dueling “Let’s Go EY/EY Sucks” chant as Eric fights up and they both hit cross bodies. That works so well that they do it again with clotheslines and both guys are down. Eric wins a slugout and scores with a flying forearm followed by a clothesline. Magnus escapes the piledriver but gets caught in a nice belly to belly. The champion misses a moonsault and gets slammed down, setting up Magnus’ top rope elbow for two.

A wheelbarrow suplex into a neckbreaker puts Magnus down and it’s Eric’s elbow connecting for a near fall. Young still can’t get the piledriver as Magnus counters into a Kingsland Cloverleaf. A rope is quickly grabbed though and it’s Eric putting on a horrible looking Scorpion until Magnus makes the ropes even faster than Eric did. Magnus nails him with a right hand on top and a slam down gets two more. The referee stops Magnus from bringing in a hammer, allowing Eric to connect with the piledriver for an even closer near fall. There’s a second piledriver and the elbow to retain the title at 15:44.

Rating: B-. So I guess Eric is the long term plan because…..well because they’ve tried EVERYTHING else and it hasn’t worked. This was actually far better than I was expecting as they told a decent story, though the ending didn’t really work too well. It’s the match of the night for sure though and a good way to close a show.

Overall Rating: C. This just didn’t do it for me. I see no reason for this to be a PPV and it feels like their old Russo shows: gimmicks added for no reason at all (No DQ in the opener and the van stuff with Anderson vs. Shaw), stories that just keep going (Storm vs. Gunner) and a main event that tried but just didn’t feel like a big match because of who was involved.

It’s not that the show was terrible because it did have its moments, but it’s a reflection on how unappealing TNA really is at the moment. It’s a watchable show and the main event isn’t bad, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. Also, where was Abyss? As in the guy that Impact was built around last week. I’d assume he didn’t make the show because they didn’t have time to figure him in because this show had SO much thought put into it right?

Results
Wolves b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Double stomp to Godderz
Mr. Anderson b. Samuel Shaw – Anderson threw Shaw into the van
Willow/Kurt Angle b. Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud –
Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Moonsault
Gunner b. James Storm – Storm quit after being cut with a beer bottle
Angelina Love b. Madison Rayne – Rollup with a handful of tights
Bobby Roode b. Bully Ray – Dixie Carter shoved Ray through two tables
Eric Young b. Magnus – Top rope elbow
 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We’ll start with the main event. I’ll take Bully Ray to beat Bobby Roode in the tables match with a powerbomb. No seriously that’s the main event. If you watch Impact, this is the match we’ve heard the most of all month long. I don’t quite get the appeal of having people put each other through tables for a month and then pay to see them put each other through one more table but that’s just me.

Eric Young keeps the title because…..well because Eric Young is World Champion in a major wrestling company and according to them it’s not a ripoff of Daniel Bryan.

I’ll take Angelina to take the Knockouts Title because it’s the easiest thing they can do to keep the division as boring as possible.

I’ll actually take Storm to win the I Quit match, presumably through the use of someone else like Gunner’s dad. Why this feud is still going is anyone’s guess as this is about the fourth match that should have blown the thing off.

Angle/Willow over Carter/Spud to give the good guys their revenge. Again there’s no real thinking in this but that’s the case for almost everything in TNA anymore.

Give me Sanada over Tigre Uno in a match that just didn’t need to be a best of three at all.

I have a feeling Shaw wins the Committed match over Anderson with Christy’s help because Russo is back on the creative team as a consultant and that’s one of his favorites.

Oh and the Wolves get the belts back which should be their first reign but we needed them to win in Japan or whatever.

As I’m sure you can tell, I REALLY do not care about this show at all. That was what went through my head the entire show on Thursday and it’s the same case here. TNA is just not very interesting right now and the majority of the show feels like something they remembered doing before and just swapped the names around. It’s not interesting for the most part and there really isn’t much I want to see on this show which doesn’t need to be a PPV in the slightest. Things can turn around, but I don’t see much good going on at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at: