Since it’s Memorial Day weekend, Destination America decided not to air a new episode of Impact (EVERYTHING IS FINE!!!).  Instead, they’re airing a completely out of context pay per view from last year.  That’s actually not a horrible idea, but somehow this is the only presentable pay per view they’ve had in the last year.  That’s sad.

Slammiversary 2014
Date: June 15, 2014
Location: College Park Center, Arlington, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Time for another TNA pay per view which at least has been good in the last few years. The show has had some decent build, but due to a combination of injuries and TNA’s horrific marketing skills, the World Title match has been changed and there was no mention of the X Division Title match on television. The show does look good on paper though and we get the newest Hall of Fame announcement. Let’s get to it.

We open with the trio in the back with MVP saying he’s here to make sure Dixie doesn’t screw things up tonight. MVP can’t be out there with them though because of his knee.

Video on the history of TNA up to this point.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik

Sanada is defending and this is a ladder match. Also keep in mind that Destination X and Option C are coming up soon. Manik dives through the ropes to take out Sanada before the bell. The Wolves follow suit with stereo suicide dives and Steve has apparently knocked Tigre Uno down. Steve gets a ladder from under the ring and uses it to climb back to the apron. Tigre dropkicks him down and mostly misses a corkscrew dive to take everyone out.

Sanada and Manik fight over a ladder in the ring with the champion taking over via a springboard chop to the head. Tigre replaces Manik and kicks Sanada in the back of the head but the Wolves double team him into a German suplex onto the ladder in the corner. Edwards throws in a fresh ladder but Manik dropkicks both of them down. Steve (very popular tonight) comes in for the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot, taking down everyone that comes into the ring.

Manik makes a save but Steve shoves the ladder over, only to have Manik land on the top rope and dive out to knock out the Wolves. Steve goes up again and touches the belt but of course loses his hand eye coordination since this is a ladder match, allowing Sanada to make the save. The ladder is busted so Sanada slams Steve onto it to set up the moonsault. The fans think this is awesome as Tigre enziguris Sanada off a better ladder.

Tigre wedges the broken ladder into the standing one to form a bridge, but the Wolves catch him in a powerbomb/top rope Backstabber combo. The Wolves both go after the belt but Sanada makes the save. Edwards Sanada clothesline each other to the floor and Eddie crashes into the barricade, leaving Davey on top. Manik makes the save and powerbombs Davey onto the bridged ladder in a SCARY landing. Sanada climbs up to retain at 9:40 before someone dies.

Rating: B-. The match was fun but some of those spots looked too dangerous for my taste. Richards getting powerbombed was way too scary looking and I didn’t like how he landed. Hopefully everyone is fine, but I question having people go through a match like this without even giving the match hype on TV.

The announcers explain the World Title situation. For once this is totally beyond their control.

Here’s the trio with MVP on crutches to insult Texas A&M and the fans for booing him. They shouldn’t be so angry at him while he’s here against doctor’s orders. Dixie has gone to the Board of Directors in an estrogen filled moment of insanity, resulting in him being censored. MVP explains the World Title situation to the live crowd and says he won’t be involved in either qualifying match. King and Lashley promise to win their matches, unlike Texas A&M.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

Winner goes to the title match tonight. Lashley quickly takes Joe into the corner but gets enziguried in the other corner to give Joe control. Bobby leapfrogs over the Samoan and clotheslines him down, only to have Joe pound him down with strikes. The Facewash is loaded up but Bobby rolls to the floor to get a breather. You don’t go outside on Joe though and it’s the suicide elbow to take Lashley out again.

Joe gets cocky for a split second and Lashley is able to send him into the steps. Back in and Lashley fights out of the corner Rock Bottom with a swinging neckbreaker for two. A snap suplex sets up a nerve hold on Joe and an elbow to the face stops his comeback cold. Another nerve hold is broken up by a kick to the head and the backsplash gets two. Now the release Rock Bottom looks to set up the Clutch but Lashley drives him into the corner. Joe has to stop himself from running into Earl Hebner, allowing Bobby to nail the spear for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad with Lashley getting one of his biggest wins since coming back. Putting Joe in the title match didn’t make a ton of sense after Lashley beat Eric on Thursday so this was the best option all things considered. I’m still not wild on Lashley’s in ring work, especially the spear due to so many people using it, but he could be worse.

The Carters have a party suite above the arena. Dixie thinks Ray will see Ethan’s vicious side tonight. Dixie won’t comment on the meetings she had this week until she’s in the middle of the ring. The only hint she’ll give is that the karma that got to MVP is nothing compared to what’s coming. Spud looks like the Joker.

Magnus vs. Willow

Bram and Abyss are the seconds here. Magnus stomps away in the corner to start and avoids a baseball slide to send Willow into the steps. Back in and a big clothesline gets the same for the Brit. There’s a buckle bomb for good measure and Magnus hammers away on the mask. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Willow fights back with an atomic drop and the legdrop between the legs for two.

The Twist is countered but Magnus runs into two boots in the corner. A middle rope splash gets two for Willow before Magnus avoids the Swanton. Bram tries to interfere but Abyss is right there to hammer away. All four guys start brawling on the floor until Willow goes up top and just jumps backwards onto the Brits.

Now Abyss and Bram fight in the ring with the Monster easily throwing him to the floor. The guys in the match get back in as Bram gets his metal bar, only to be one upped by Janice. They walk up the ramp as Magnus breaks up the Whisper in the Wind, setting up a belly to back suplex into a side slam for the pin on Willow at 10:00.

Rating: C-. This was a mess for the most part but not bad. They would have been better off making this a tag match to get everyone in there, but that seems to be where they’re headed anyway. The Willow gimmick isn’t doing anything for me either as the announcement that it’s Jeff Hardy just killed the whole point of the character.

Here’s Kurt Angle to announce the newest Hall of Fame inductee. Angle talks about how being in the Hall of Fame means you’ve earned respect forever from the boys in the back and the fans. The inductee is……Team 3D in a bit of a surprise. A loud and long WE WANT TABLES chant goes up and we go to a wide shot of the arena for some reason.

Bully can barely get a full sentence out as the fans are chanting WELCOME BACK. They accept the induction because of every single one of the fans. D-Von says he wasn’t going to come back to TNA but if he’s going out, he has to be by Bully’s side after all their history together. Catchphrases and poses close out the segment.

Ethan Carter cuts a good promo about how he’s beaten all the members of the TNA Hall of Fame so tonight he gets to beat the latest. This isn’t Von Erich Country anymore because the Carters have taken over.

Austin Aries vs. Kenny King

Winner goes to the cage match tonight. Aries hits the corner dropkick less than thirty seconds in but King escapes the brainbuster and gets to the floor. The top rope ax handle puts King down again but King crotches him on top to get a breather. A dropkick puts Austin on the floor and King sends him hard into the barricade for good measure.

They head inside again with King hammering away before putting on something like a seated abdominal stretch. Aries fights up and smacks King’s ears to put him on the floor, setting up a suicide dive. King is thrown back inside so Aries can ram him over and over into the buckles, setting up a missile dropkick for two.

King comes back with a cradle suplex and a high kick but gets caught with his feet on the ropes. The Last Chancery can’t get the submission so King comes back with a springboard Blockbuster for a close two. Aries gets tired of dealing with King and takes him into the corner for a super brainbuster to send Austin to the cage at 10:04.

Rating: C+. This is the logical choice as King hasn’t really shown that he can beat a guy of Aries’ level in a one on one match. The ending sequence was really cool and it gives us a more intriguing main event than Eric vs. two members of the trip. Aries is a guy that could be brought up the ranks in TNA to fill in their lack of top faces.

JB introduces some Dallas Cowboys to a VERY mixed reaction. After that mention is over, JB brings out the latest Von Erichs: Ross and Marshall, accompanied by an ancient looking Kevin. The Bro Mans interrupt and say that a lot of things in Texas aren’t tight, including being a Von Erich. Robbie isn’t here for reasons not specified.

Bro Mans vs. Ross Von Erich/Marshall Von Erich

Marshall wrestles barefoot like Kevin did. This is DJZ and Jesse for the team tonight. Marshall cleans house on DJZ to start but can’t hook the Claw. A powerslam puts DJZ back down and it’s off to the older Ross for some dropkicks. Jesse breaks up something off the top rope and DJZ hits a nice flip dive to take Ross down on the ramp.

Back in and Jesse nails a dropkick bur Ross avoids a second one and makes the hot tag to Marshall. Everything breaks down and Ross hits a missile dropkick to put both guys down. Jesse brings in a chair but gets it dropkicked into his face, setting up a series of basic double team moves from the brothers. Not that it matters as DJZ brings in the chair for the DQ at 5:07.

Rating: D+. Well that was a waste of pay per view time. The Von Erichs looked ok at best but it’s clear that they need ring time more than anything else. They didn’t know how to finish a match yet and it looked like they needed to get through a bunch of spots instead of bringing the match to a close. Not terrible, but the ending really didn’t work for me.

Post match Kevin comes in to put the Claw on Jesse, drawing the only big pop from the crowd.

Angelina says she’ll keep the title tonight. JB asks how many time Angelina has won the title without Velvet’s help but Angelina says they’re a team.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love

Angelina is defending and Gail won a triple threat on Thursday to set this up. Gail hits a quick running forearm to start but her top rope huricanrana is countered with a powerbomb. A side slam gets two on Kim and Angelina throws her out to the floor. Velvet interference doesn’t help as Kim sends Love knees first into the steps. Back in and Gail gets crotched on the top, setting up an ugly looking reverse bulldog for two.

Sky uses the hairspray but referee Stiffler ignores it. The Botox Injection gets two and here’s Earl Hebner to eject Sky and make himself referee. Gail speeds things up and gets two off a neckbreaker but gets powerbombed for two more. Kim accidentally dropkicks Earl in the back but nails Eat Defeat. Stiffler ignores the cover to check on Earl and does the same again when Love gets rolled up. Angelina reverses into a rollup of her own and Stiffler counts the pin to retain the title at 6:57.

Rating: D+. Egads this story is getting old. Didn’t we have Stiffler in love with the Beautiful People like five years ago? Nothing to see here for the most part as Gail vs. Angelina has been done on PPV so many times that they ran out of stuff to do years ago. The match was ridiculously overbooked. Also don’t we already have a questionable referee in Brian Hebner?

D-Von has to go back to the hotel for dinner with his kids. Bully cuts a promo on Texas wrestling legends and thinks Ethan is in way over his head. His advice to Ethan: start praying. Ethan gets crucified for the sins of his Aunt Dixie and he’ll be baptized in blood.

Bully Ray vs. Ethan Carter III

Texas Death Match, meaning last man standing. Ray brings out a bullrope ala Stan Hansen for a nice tribute. Carter is thrown to the floor by the rope to start and Ray brings out a pair of tables. They’re stacked next to each other on the floor but Carter recovers from the coma he was in to get in a few shots and take over. Ray fights right back and sets up another table in the corner but the fans want cowbell.

Carter avoids the table but gets his chest ripped off by more chops. Time for the cheese grater to rip up Ethan’s chest (barely), which isn’t something you often see. Carter gets in a few shots to take over and sends Ray face first into a chair on the mat. He goes up top but gets crotched and superplexed onto the chair to put both guys down. Ray grabs a Dallas Cowboys trashcan from under the ring before starting to cut up the mats to expose the wood under the canvas.

Joker Spud comes out with a kendo stick shot to Ray’s back for no effect. Ray kicks him low and knocks Spud silly with the stick but Carter hits a quick One Percenter onto the exposed boards for our first count over twelve minutes into the match. Ray is up at eight so Carter pours out the glass in the trashcan. Carter goes up but dives into a Bubba Cutter, sending the injured chest into the glass for a cool spot. He’s up at eight though so Ray takes the stick outside to knock Ethan silly again.

Ray puts him on the tables and goes up but here’s Dixie for a distraction. Bully goes after her and sends Ethan into Dixie to knock her out cold. Ethan gets punched down and Ray puts Dixie on the table. He takes too long though, allowing Spud to pull her off and Ethan knocks Ray through the tables with a kendo stick shot for the win at 17:05.

Rating: C. It was a nice brawl with some nice spots but NO ONE CARES ABOUT DIXIE. After all this, if she doesn’t go through a table in New York, this whole story has been a huge waste of time. Also, never accept an induction to the Hall of Fame unless you want to lose on a last second fluke the same night. At least D-Von didn’t join forces with Dixie.

We recap Anderson vs. Storm. This started in a qualifying match for a World Title shot before Anderson cheated to win a drinking contest and made fun of cowboys. Why TNA thinks he’s going to be cheered in Texas doing this is beyond me.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm

Storm grabs a mic even though it’s 10:22 and we’ve got another match after this. He rips on the Cowboys because he’s a Titans fan but the booing breaks up his catchphrase. The brawl is on before the bell with Anderson high fiving the Cowboys and spitting beer in Storm’s face. They get in the ring for the opening bell and James goes right for the knee. A few shots have Anderson so banged up that he can’t run across the ring and a Figure Four has him in even more trouble.

Anderson is quickly in the ropes and Storm misses a charge in the corner to give Mr. a breather. Storm gets crotched on the top and slammed down for two, only to send Anderson face first into the middle buckle. Now it’s Anderson going up but getting kicked in the back of the head. He’s still able to pick Storm up for the rolling fireman’s carry off the middle rope but Storm kicks him out to the floor. Storm spits beer at the Cowboys so they jump the railing for a distraction, allowing Anderson to hit the Mic Check for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: C-. The match was short due to time but it was still entertaining enough. Anderson vs. Storm didn’t need the Cowboys for this to work but since it’s a midcard match in TNA, I’m sure we’ll get 19 rematches to keep things going way after its expiration date. The Cowboys might get them some extra media attention if nothing else.

Austin Aries tells Eric Young that the greatest man should win the match tonight. Eric says they’ve flown in crazy people to the show tonight.

We recap the main event, which is just an Eric Young video due to the last minute changes.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young

In a cage with Young defending with wins by pin or submissino, not escape. Lashley takes over to start but gets double teamed down. The smaller guys do a fast paced sequence until Lashley throws Aries into the cage. Young gets the same as well, allowing Lashley to stand tall. Bobby throws both guys around again but misses a charge into the post. Young and Aries go at it again until Eric hammers on Bobby in the corner.

Aries powerbombs the champion down but stops to go after Lashley again, only to be suplexed into the cage for two. We get a bad looking botch as Aries hits a running cross body in the corner but Young just lets him bounce off of him for some reason. Young gets to show off his freakish strength with a double Death Valley Driver but Lashley is up at two. He puts Young on top of the cage as the fans chant please don’t die. Aries goes up top as well to take Lashley down with a hurricanrana, but Eric stands up on top of the cage for the huge elbow to Bobby.

Aries punts Eric in the head though and hits the brainbuster for a very close two. Lashley spears Austin down for two and spinebusters the champion, only to miss the spear and fall out of the cage. Remember that doesn’t end the match though as escape doesn’t count. Young hits the top rope elbow on Aries for another close near fall. The piledriver is countered with a low dropkick to Young’s face and everyone is down. Young and Aries slug it out but both guys miss forearms. Aries hits some discus forearms and the corner dropkick but walks into the piledriver to retain Eric’s title at 12:10.

Rating: B-. This got better near the end but Eric keeping the title made me roll my eyes. The reign has been far better than I expected it to be but he needs to be the focal point of the company instead of the other guy in the major feuds. To be fair though, I’d assume MVP was supposed to take the title tonight before the injuries.

Young helps Aries up after the match.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, TNA puts on a good show for Slammiversary. I really wish they could get their stuff together on TV because if this was what they were putting out there every week, things would be so much easier to sit through. Instead we’re usually stuck with one story dominating a show or 19 Dixie Carter segments with her bad acting talking about whatever war she’s having that no one cares about. Good show but not as good as the last few years’. Nothing blew the doors off but most of the matches were solid and nothing was bad so I can’t complain much.

Results
Sanada b. Crazy Steve, Manik, Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards and Tigre Uno – Sanada pulled down the title belt
Bobby Lashley b. Samoa Joe – Spear
Magnus b. Willow – Belly to back suplex into a side slam
Ross Von Erich/Marshall Von Erich b. Bro Mans via DQ when DJZ used a chair
Angelina Love b. Gail Kim – Rollup
Ethan Carter III b. Bully Ray when Ray couldn’t answer the ten count
Eric Young b. Austin Aries and Bobby Lashley – Piledriver to Aries

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 15, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Mike Tenay

We’re coming off the big live show last week and rolling towards Slammiversary at the end of June. The big story at the end of last week’s show was Angle making Eric Young tap to retain the title, presumably to end their feud. Other than that we have the continuing story of the Rising vs. the BDC as Drew Galloway was beaten down by a pipe last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Angle vs. Young, who tonight will lead two teams in a hardcore war. Good grief just get to Carter vs. Angle already.

Here are Angle and Chris Melendez to start things off. Angle talks about going to war with Young last week, but Eric sided with the BDC. Well now Kurt has backup of his own, including Chris Melendez. He needs a bit more though, so Angle would like the Rising to come out here right now. Kurt calls them a breath of fresh air in this company as they try to eliminate a cancer calling itself the BDC.

Galloway praises Angle a bit but likes the look of that World Title. Angle likes the idea but here’s Eric Young to say he got ripped off last week. Kind of like we’re getting ripped off from having a good World Title challenger. Young was ripped off by the guest referee so he’s owed another title shot. He goes on and on until Angle tells him to shut up because the stupidity caught him last week.

Angle tells him to shut up again and offers Young a title shot in an I Quit match. That’s for the future though because tonight is about hardcore. Cue the BDC to go after everyone in the ring. Young comes in to help with the beat down but Lashley comes out to complete Angle’s team and make the save. So it’s going to be a twelve man hardcore war later tonight? That’s a bit excessive no?

Brooke/Rebel vs. Dollhouse

Marti/Jade here. Rebel is described as a former member of the Menagerie. The Dollhouse cleans house to start with Marti hammering on Rebel in the ring. It’s quickly off to Jade for some knees to the head. The double teaming continues as Matthews confirms that the Menagerie is no more. Dang it I always like that act. Brooke comes in off the hot tag and fires off some forearms as everything breaks down. Rebel misses Christy’s old Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (yep) and a double slam (think a chokeslam but lifting under the arms instead of by the throat) is enough to give the Dollhouse the pin at 3:57.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t much but I’m digging the Dollhouse more and more every single week. Taryn is perfect as the borderline psycho leader, but the supporting cast is cool too as they can both go in the ring. Rebel and Brooke are fine as the good looking jobbers for them and the match was fine for what it was.

Post match Taryn says she has play time scheduled with Gail Kim’s family.

The BDC and Eric Young are texting Homicide but he won’t be here tonight. MVP has a replacement but Young has someone better. King doesn’t trust him but MVP wants the crazy man on his side instead of against him.

Here are Ethan Carter III and Tyrus with the former wondering how he isn’t #1 contender after the former #1 contender lost to the champion last week. He wants answers but gets Mr. Anderson with a chair instead. Anderson is disappointed when they leave because he wants to fight someone tonight. They start to walk but Anderson suggests a match with Tyrus. If he wins, he gets Carter in the future. After some swearing insults at Tyrus, the big man says get a referee out there.

Mr. Anderson vs. Tyrus

Anderson hammers away to start but gets run over for two. A Big Ending gets two and Tyrus slams him down again for the same. Carter tries to bring in the chair but gets ejected, allowing Anderson to play possum and counter the spike into the Mic Check for the pin at 4:36.

Rating: D. Really, really dull match here and yet another instance of stretching out a feud before we get to the beyond obvious Angle vs. Carter feud for the title. This one is far more interesting than the Young version but it’s clearly just filling time because having more than a month build to what is likely the Slammiversary main event doesn’t work.

We take a quick look back at Magnus blasting Storm with the guitar last week.

Magnus wants Storm out here right now but gets Abyss instead. The monster says there are consequences for what you do and this week, Magnus’ consequences are Abyss. It’s a brawl at ringside instead of a match with Abyss taking over only to stop to throw in some barbecue equipment (cross promotion with a Destination America show about barbecuing). Abyss loads up the chokeslam but takes some tongs to the crotch, only to have Manik try to come in. That earns him something like a brainbuster but Khoya comes in with a walking stick to lay Magnus out. Magnus eats a chokeslam for good measure.

Quick recap of the Tag Team Title situation with the Wolves and Hardys having to vacate the belts, setting up a best of five series between the Wolves and Dirty Heels (I’m really not sure how to feel about that name) for the belts.

Wolves vs. Dirty Heels

That’s their official name now and this is match #1 in the best of five series. It’s also Edwards’ first match back from injury. Roode and Richards get things going and for some reason the camera is zoomed in on Roode as they get started. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Richards vs. Aries with the Wolves taking over on Austin’s arm. Aries is driven into Davey’s knee but sends him into the corner, allowing for the tag off to Bobby.

A catapult sends Eddie into a forearm from Aries, followed by the slingshot elbow for two. The running dropkick in the corner is countered and Edwards hits a dropkick of his own to put Roode down. There’s the hot tag to Richards for the “make your opponent DDT his partner” spot (one of the dumbest spots I’ve ever seen) before the powerbomb/Backstabber is countered with a hurricanrana. Aries takes out the Wolves with a suicide dive, followed by the corner dropkick to Richards. Davey is still in it though and counters Roode’s spinebuster into a sunset flip for the pin and the first match at 8:26.

Rating: B. Good match here but they’re still waiting to crank it up in the later matches. These are two of the better teams in wrestling a the moment and seeing them fight five times (perhaps with some gimmicks later on) is going to be really entertaining and likely blown off at Slammiversary.

Galloway picks Micah over Eli for the hardcore war tonight.

Taryn talks about going to see Gail Kim’s stepdaughters earlier today. She’s also going to show us what she’s wearing for Kim’s husband Robert.

Storm yells at the Revolution for going after Magnus without permission. This is between him and Mickie James and no one else.

Here’s the Dollhouse again with Taryn in a robe. Taryn makes fun of Gail for being so serious of a wrestler because the Dollhouse is making something special. She has pictures of her with Gail’s stepdaughters who look borderline terrified. But now, here’s what she’s wearing for Gail’s husband. It’s some very revealing lingerie so here’s Gail, but Marti asks why she’s so serious. Gail wants a match with Taryn but Taryn brings up the husband again, meaning the fight is on with the Dollhouse running.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

Robbie has straightened his hair a bit. This is fallout from their brawl a few weeks ago and they bump fists to start. That’s the highest impact of the match though as Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 24 seconds.

Godderz wants to restart the match so here we go again.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

Jesse throws him down with authority but a majistral cradle is good enough to make Robbie 2-0 at 31 seconds.

Godderz wasn’t ready so let’s do it one more time.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

The fans count the seconds this time and Jesse celebrates a headlock. A dropkick gets two with Jesse driving his forearm into Robbie’s face. Robbie comes right back with a crucifix for the pin at 1:10.

Godderz is livid so he hits Robbie in the head with the mic. He throws Robbie to the floor and puts a chair around Robbie’s neck before driving it into the post.

Angle fires up his team for tonight. Eli Drake still doesn’t look happy.

Eric Young has a fifth guy.

Mr. Anderson is having something built to help deal with Tyrus.

Team Angle vs. Team Young

Hardcore war, which apparently means a gauntlet match, which seems to be Lethal Lockdown minus the cage but with weapons. Low Ki with his pipe and Drew Galloway with a pipe of his own start things up. First fall wins with 90 second intervals and Team Young won the coin toss (duh) to have the advantage. Low Ki loses his pipe early and Drew takes him to the floor for some hard chops instead of laying pipe into him.

Kenny King is in next with a weapon that is knocked out of his hands too quickly to notice. Galloway eats some chops against the barricade as King pulls out a cane to nail him in the back. Micah and a nightstick even things up and the Rising takes over with the usual brawling. Eric Young is in next with a trashcan lid (that is one CRAZY trashcan lid. Like, you know your crazy Uncle Stu who thinks he’s Catherine Zeta-Jones? It’s crazier than him) and he quickly sets up a Tower of Doom, but Galloway sits up out of the Tree of Woe into a German suplex to take everyone down.

Kurt Angle comes in with what looks like another pipe but throws it down for a bunch of Germans. We take a break and come back with MVP (kendo stick) and Chris Melendez (another pipe) involved. Eric’s mystery partner, with another kendo stick, is Bram. Team Young cleans house for a bit until Lashley completes the field, meaning it’s now first fall wins. Lashley avoids all of King’s kicks and plants him with a powerslam.

MVP’s Playmaker is countered but Bram cracks Lashley in the head with a kendo stick, setting up the Brighter Side of Suffering. Micah hits a Big Ending (just like Tyrus earlier) but King springboards in to take him down. That’s fine with Galloway who takes most of Team Young down with a big flip dive over the ropes. Angle dives on everyone not named Young or Melendez, leaving Eric to hit a quick piledriver for the pin on Chris at 17:21.

Rating: D+. Basically this existed so it could exist. There was no real need for this to be a gauntlet match or a hardcore match as a ten man tag would have accomplished exactly the same thing. That’s the bad sign for a gimmick: you can do the exact same thing without the gimmick being in place. The match was nothing special though and really could have done with being cut down to eight people.

Post match Young rips off Melendez’s leg and chokes Angle out with it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show felt really rushed and packed full of stuff. It felt like they were cramming in as much stuff as they could and it brought down the good stuff they were doing. You can see most of Slammiversary from here, but some of it really isn’t that interesting. I mean, the Rising vs. the BDC just keeps going with no real reason to exist. The tag team series is good, but it’s not something that’s going to blow the doors off the place until it gets closer to the end. The show should be good, but the build isn’t great so far.

As for tonight…..meh. The hardcore war didn’t do anything for me as you have ten guys with weapons in a gauntlet format. Clearly that just needs 100 minutes of build. The battle of the BroMans could be good and they got through the whole thing in like eight minutes so points for that. The Anderson vs. Carter and Angle vs. Young feuds feel like they’re just going for the sake of going, but Angle vs. Young seems to be moving towards wrapping up. It’s a decent enough show, but they’ve cooled way off in recent weeks.

Results

Dollhouse b. Brooke/Rebel – Double lifting slam to Rebel

Mr. Anderson b. Tyrus – Mic Check

Wolves b. Dirty Heels – Sunset flip to Roode

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Rollup

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Majistral cradle

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Crucifix

Team Young b. Team Angle – Piledriver to Melendez

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 8, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews

For the first time in weeks, we actually have a special episode. This is airing live from Orlando with the promise of a former World Champion returning in the first five minutes. Other than that we have Kurt Angle defending the World Title against Eric Young to probably blow off their feud. Let’s get to it.

Eric Young is in the ring to start and promises to win the title back tonight. This brings out the returning World Champion and it’s Bully Ray, who will referee Angle vs. Young. Eh cool but it’s nothing earth shattering. It doesn’t help that it’s for Angle vs. Young which is just a placeholder until Cater challenges Kurt.

We get the opening recap video. They’re treating this like a huge show.

Here’s Ethan Carter to talk about the democratic process which has lead us to a gentlemen’s contest: arm wrestling. This brings out Mr. Anderson to show us the results: falls count anywhere wins with 85% of the vote. Shocking indeed.

Mr. Anderson vs. Ethan Carter III

This is billed as falls count anywhere but the rules make it sound hardcore. Anderson quickly sends Carter and Tyrus to the floor but the big man gets in some cheap shots. That’s fine with Anderson who sends Tyrus into the post and chases after Carter as he tries to get away. We get the first weapons brought in as Anderson pulls out a bunch of chairs to pile up on the floor.

A Mic Check onto the chairs doesn’t work so Carter backdrops Anderson onto the ramp for two. Carter makes the mistake of spitting in Anderson’s face, earning him a Regal Roll onto the chairs for two. Back in and Anderson hammers away before planting Carter with a swinging neckbreaker. Tyrus comes back in to earn his check with a t-bone suplex and a corner splash. The spike to the throat puts Anderson down for the pin at 5:39.

Rating: C-. Well that was quick but they were smart to keep this quick given how obvious the booking seems to be. Young is a guy who could bounce right back after all these losses so why not feed him to Carter to get us on the fast track to Angle vs. Carter? Everyone knows that’s where it’s going so why not just keep this quick?

Bully Ray likes the look of Angle’s World Title.

Gail Kim goes up to Awesome Kong and asks if they’re on the same side tonight. Kong walks away.

Quick recap of BDC vs. the Rising.

Here’s the BDC, wearing masks during their entrance, with something to say. MVP holds up his mask and says it belongs to Homicide, but he can’t be here tonight because someone blindsided him on his way back here, sending him to the hospital for surgery shoulder. Now he’s not saying the Rising did it, but they must know something about it. MVP goes on a rant about the American government taking foreign oil fields and being cheered, but when the BDC tries to take something, they’re called thugs. That’s a new word for something censored, which was probably a racial term given how MVP was going.

Cue the Rising, who says they fight in a ring instead of the streets. Think about it though: a man called Homicide isn’t the most endearing person in the world. The Rising had nothing to do with the injury, but maybe it was someone closer to home. Where was Kenny King last night for example? MVP says he doesn’t care about wrestling. It’s all about the money and power that comes with the job. Drew cares about workrate but MVP cares about interest rate. Wasn’t MVP the one who came to TNA to make things better for wrestling? MVP wants a match right now so let’s do it live. The brawl is on and we take a break.

MVP vs. Drew Galloway

Joined in progress after a break with MVP choking on the ropes and bending the arm around the ropes. A slam off the middle rope gets two and they trade big boots with Drew’s knocking MVP outside. Drew follows him and gets slammed head first into the barricade for a loud thud. Back in and the Playmaker is countered into the Futureshock to give Drew the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable but this is one of the least interesting feuds I can remember in a long time. They’re doing the right things, but there’s just nothing to make me care. The (maybe) racist part could be interesting and feels like Corgan’s first story addition. It’s not likely to make me care about the feud, but the wrestling and promos have been fine. I just don’t care.

Post match Eric Young (in CRAZY pink) comes in and helps the BDC beat down the Rising with a chair. Despite Young being an associate of the team when it formed, this is treated as a surprising turn of events.

James Storm is here with a present for a special friend. They should just call him Christmas because he’s always giving.

The preview for next week is all about Kurt Angle and asks who’s next. I know that’s a Destination America ad but it’s almost guaranteeing that Angle retains tonight.

Here’s James Storm with his present. He can talk about being tough and drinking beer, but it’s time to give someone else the spotlight. This brings out Mickie James to a very nice ovation, but Storm wants to talk about her being a mother. Everyone should love their mother, but Storm quickly switches over to Mickie’s music career. She’s an amazing mother, wrestler and singer, but she’s also a great friend. He holds up the box and it’s a new guitar. Storm tries to sing a bit but Mickie politely shakes her head no.

They take a picture together (not a selfie Storm) and here’s Magnus with a forced smile. Storm has a gift for him too: the spiked helmet from the Brutus Magnus days. Magnus and Mickie leave but Storm pulls out a blanket for their son Donovan. That’s too much for Magnus, who comes back in and breaks the guitar over Storm’s head. Like a truly creepy man, Storm starts smiling. They are NAILING this story and Storm is making it awesome. How can he be the same guy that led the worthless Revolution?

Eric Young wants the BDC to have his back to deal with Bully Ray tonight.

We go backstage at Robert Irvine Live (Gail Kim’s real life husband and a celebrity chef) where Taryn Terrell shows up. Gail gets in her face and that’s about it.

Gail Kim/Awesome Kong vs. Dollhouse

Jade jumps Gail to start but gets thrown down by a hurricanrana, so it’s off to Marti vs. Kong. Everyone but Taryn comes in and the Doll House is thrown into the same corner and splashed by the monster. We settle down to Marti hitting a running faceplant on Gail, setting up a cannonball from Jade for two.

Marti slams her down for two but it’s off to Jade, who is very slowly slammed down onto Gail’s knees. Kim’s Black Widow is broken up by Taryn but Gail dives over for the hot tag. The Dollhouse has to save their boss from an Implant Buster and everything breaks down. Jade takes an Implant Buster but Taryn counters the Eat Defeat on Marti with a rollup for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C. This was fine and the right ending as I’m still loving Taryn and the Dollhouse as a whole. They’re setting up the big blowoff with Gail vs. Taryn, but I’m hoping we don’t get another Gail title reign. We’ve been there time after time and I don’t see what else she can do with the title.

We look at Jeff Hardy breaking his leg and see Matt holding both Tag Team Titles.

Magnus asks Mickie to have nothing to do with James Storm anymore. Mickie isn’t thrilled and leaves.

Here’s Matt Hardy to address the Tag Team Title situation. Jeff is going to be healing for a long time, so as of right now, the titles are vacant. That means it’s time for Matt to go home and figure out what’s next for him.

As he leaves, here are Bobby Roode and Austin Aries with something to say. Aries hasn’t forgotten Young putting him on a stretcher to send him out of the Impact Zone on a stretcher. That brings Aries to another piece of gold: the World Tag Team Titles, which seem to have a curse on them. Yeah they’re constantly being vacated, but that sounds like an opportunity. He and Roode have held the Tag Team Titles and didn’t get hurt, so Roode thinks the titles should be defended by two of the best wrestlers in the world today.

This brings out Davey Richards, who says no one has fought more battles for those belts than the Wolves. Aries likes the idea, but there’s no team in front of him. Not quite says Davey, because Eddie Edwards is back. Eddie has been cleared to wrestle and who better to start against than Roode and Aries? That’s fine with them, but Eddie wants to one up it: a best of five series. Hands are shaken and the series is on.

After a break, Matt Hardy goes to leave but Drew Galloway stops him to offer him some food for thought: things are changing a lot and he could use a good man.

Angelina Love is in the ring to talk about being asked everything going on lately. However, she just wants to talk about herself because she’s the only Beautiful Person around and the best Knockout ever. Cue Velvet Sky because these two are cursed to be around each other for all eternity. Velvet looks…..sleepy. Anyway, Angelina sucks up to her but Velvet, now with pink/purple highlights and a left arm tattoo sleeve doesn’t say anything. Instead it’s a spear to start a catfight as the fans are going mild. Security breaks it up.

Recap of Young beating Angle in a stretcher match last week.

Young asks Ray if he’s going to be the next one to stab him in the back. Ray says he’s just here to referee.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young

Bully Ray is refereeing and Angle is defending. Josh on Angle: “If anything ever happened to Captain America, Kurt Angle could easily be an Avenger.” A quick belly to belly puts Young down but he fires off some elbows in the corner to take over. Eric is sent to the apron so he runs to the top, only to have Kurt run the ropes and superplex him down. The BDC is watching from the stage as we take a break.

Back with Young getting two off a neckbreaker and choking in the corner. The chinlock slows Angle down for a bit before Angle fights up and wins a slugout. Now we hit the rolling Germans before the ankle lock sends Eric to the ropes. Kurt won’t let go so Eric rolls Angle out to the floor. A CRAZY low blow puts Ray down and the BDC starts triple teaming Angle.

This brings out Chris Melendez and the Rising to help Angle before fighting to the back. Young loads up a piledriver on Ray but gets backdropped down, setting up the Angle Slam for two on Eric. Why there hasn’t been a DQ called yet isn’t clear. Eric hits a quick piledriver for two but goes up for a cross body, only to have Angle roll through into the ankle lock to retain at 14:33.

Rating: C. The match was ok but the most obvious ending ever and an unnecessary brawl in the middle didn’t do it any favors. Now hopefully we can get away from the Young vs. Angle story and get on to Carter taking the title at Slammiversary because I never want to see Eric get another title shot.

Angle poses on the stage for a long time and no one attacks him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Good enough show this week but it’s really nothing memorable. Ray coming back is cool, but they would have been better off by not announcing it as a former World Champion as Dixie’s clues made it a pretty obvious reveal. The Sky return was the same obvious swerve, which doesn’t leave a lot going on here. This was basically a preview for what they have coming, which is fine as it’s the start of a new cycle, but there wasn’t much to see here.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Mr. Anderson – Pin after a spike to the throat from Tyrus

Drew Galloway b. MVP – Futureshock

Dollhouse b. Gail Kim/Awesome Kong – Rollup to Kim

Kurt Angle b. Eric Young – Ankle lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Al Snow

This is another special episode with Hardcore Justice, which was a One Night Only special in early April. Hopefully this is a bit of a better card as that show was just a step above a nightmare. Kurt Angle is scheduled to defend the World Title against Eric Young, but that was the case last week as well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about making things hardcore tonight.

Davey Richards/Hardys vs. Revolution

Street fight with Khoya/Manik/Abyss here and the fight starts in the aisle before we have time for entrances. Davey hits a nice delayed vertical suplex on Manik but Khoya is laying waste to Jeff on the floor with a trashcan lid. Poetry in Motion hits Manik and Abyss takes one as well but with a chair as a bonus. A Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton on Abyss but Manik makes a save. Khoya muscles Jeff off the top for a slam and pounds away as this is still all over the place. Matt cleans house with a chair and some trashcan shots until Manik takes him down with another trashcan.

Back in and a big Tower of Doom leaves only Abyss standing but Davey flips out of a chokeslam attempt and nails Creeping Death to send Abyss outside. Khoya joins his partner and gets taken down by Davey’s suicide dive. Jeff dives as well, leaving Matt to hit the Side Effect on Manik. Davey hits a top rope double stomp for two but Abyss makes the save with a chokeslam. We get Abyss’ old crotching himself on a chair spot, setting up the Twist and Swanton for the pin for Jeff at 9:43.

Rating: C+. Well that was fun. There’s no sarcasm there as these guys kept it moving for nearly ten minutes and just beat each other up. The built in story of the Revolution destroying Eddie Edwards and Jeff gave the match a purpose and the brawling held up. Good opener here.

James Storm comes out and tells Abyss that he’s failed once too often.

Mr. Anderson liked interrupting EC3 last week and has a campaign sign of his own for tonight.

Package on Billy Corgan coming to TNA. This could be good, but it could also be a disaster.

Here’s Mr. Anderson wearing a tie and behind a podium. He doesn’t care about campaign promises, but he does want to see Ethan Carter III getting a whipping. This brings out Carter with Tyrus holding a campaign sign. Fans: “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!” Anderson: “They think you can’t wrestle.”

Anderson says that if Carter wants the title, then he needs to come take it. Carter mentions being undefeated and that gets Anderson to his point. He unveils his own sign, which says Mr. Anderson to beat the streak. That sounds like a step beneath conquering but close enough. Anderson wants a match on the live show May 8 (first mention of the match being live) but thinks we should let the fans vote. The match is on without any voting but Carter warns Anderson to tread lightly. This election gimmick is money.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Mandrews vs. Tigre Uno vs. Rockstar Spud

Spud, who has injured ribs coming in, is defending in this ladder match. Everyone busts out the dives to start with Mandrews topping them all with a huge shooting star press to take out King and Uno. King makes a quick save as Spud is still down on the floor. Tigre catapults the ladder into Mandrews and King, only to have Spud shove the ladder over for the save. King nails Spud in the bad ribs but walks into a tornado DDT off the ladder. Tigre plants Mandrews with a kind of reverse Samoan drop, only to have Spud shoves him off the top.

King goes back to the bad ribs with a hard ladder shot to the bandages until Mandrews knocks Kenny to the floor. It’s Uno with the save this time as he takes Mandrews down with a C4 off the ladder. Spud wins a slugout with King but Kenny kicks him in the bad ribs. Tigre springs onto the ladder but get slammed down. The distraction lets Spud get back up, remove the bowtie, and bite King’s face. A big right hand knocks King down but Homicide breaks it up, sending the bad ribs down onto another ladder. King gets up and wins the title at 7:54.

Rating: C. What happened to this division? It used to be one of the highlights of the company but I can’t remember the last time there was a story that didn’t involve Option C and Destination X. It’s a title match, a few random matches, then a big multi-man mess with four to seven guys fighting for the belt and maybe one personality between them. Yeah the spots are cool, but I’d love to see someone actually make the division mean something again, even for a little bit.

Quick recap of Angle vs. Young.

We get to the voting for Carter vs. Anderson next week: you can vote for arm wrestling or a falls count anywhere match. The voting idea is cool, but does TNA have an app? You’re not a real wrestling company if you don’t have an app. And if TNA does have one, HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT BEEN DOWNLOADED??? THIS IS VITAL INFORMATION TO MY ABILITY TO BE A WRESTLING FAN!

Here’s Eric Young with a stretcher. Angle has wanted to see the real Eric Young, but the real version of him has been the one that has put everyone on a stretcher just like this. Tonight he has Kurt Angle in a non-title match, but that’s what Young wants. That means he can hurt Angle all he wants and put him out forever. See, Young is crazy because he has big eyes. You know who else has big eyes and is basically the exact same character as Young, but with a lot more energy and presence.

The Beat Down Clan is ready to take Drew Galloway down in the pipe on a pole match.

Rockstar Spud feels like he’s been robbed because his name was on a list with Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles. He’ll get his title back. Spud showed good emotion here and he’s growing on me more every time I see him.

Dollhouse promo with Taryn acting all psycho. She’s not worried about Brooke because it’s playtime. This is their house. The Dollhouse.

Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn is defending but Brooke knocks her into the corner and out to the floor to start. Back in and some neckbreakers get two for Brooke but Jade trips her up, allowing Taryn to take over. She rubs Brooke’s face into the mat, starting a discussion of what the mat feels like. It’s not really funny, but at least it’s not Tazz and Tenay chattering.

A standing Curb Stomp looks to set up a high cross body from the champ but Brooke half dodges half falls out of the way. She nails a middle rope X-Factor but the Dollhouse pulls Taryn outside. That’s fine with Brooke who dives on all of them with a nice plancha. Back in and Marti offers a distraction, allowing Jade to shove Brooke off the top. Taryn’s cutter retains the title at 7:18.

Rating: C. Not bad here but there was no doubt about who was going to win here. They’re setting up a cool idea here with the Dollhouse being unbeatable and saying no one can beat her. That sounds like the calling card for one more match from Mickie James, who might just win the title and have one more run to further the wedge between her and Magnus?

The Dollhouse celebrates but Gail Kim comes out. Taryn points out that it’s three on one but Kong comes out to help even things up. The Dollhouse isn’t so sure now.

Slammiversary will be on pay per view on June 28.

Video on the Rising.

Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway

Pipe on a pole match, the second one I’ve seen Drew in in three days. Galloway has bad ribs coming in. They quickly head outside with the fans holding Low Ki for chops from Drew. Chair shots are exchanged with Drew getting the better of it but not being able to get the pipe. Drew can’t hit a powerbomb onto the chair so Ki fires off kicks to the ribs. It’s not enough to get the pipe down, but Ki kicks Drew onto the chair and hits a Warrior’s Way to drive the ribs into the steel.

That’s only good for two of course, but suddenly Ki remembers the pipe. Drew pops up to his feet and slugs it out on the top with the pipe falling to the floor. Ki knocks him into the Tree of Woe but misses another Warrior’s Way, allowing Drew to get the pipe. A shot to the ribs gets two on Galloway but he hits a quick Future Shock onto the chair (which doesn’t hurt his ribs whatsoever) for the pin at 7:25.

Rating: D+. Other than the story, there was zero need for this to be a pipe match and the pipe didn’t even play into the finish. It’s basically the same problem that killed the other pipe on a pole match, but at least they used the pipe here. I’m still not seeing the point of this feud, but this match didn’t help things.

The BDC and the Rising come out for a big brawl.

We recap Storm talking Mickie James out of her retirement last week.

Mickie James was filmed earlier today when James Storm came up to her at the market. Thankfully they were both mic’d up when Storm asked to hold Mickie and Magnus’ son.

Magnus is in the ring but Storm cuts him off before he can say anything. Storm says he wasn’t the one that said Mickie should have one more match but Magnus is getting annoyed. Mickie isn’t one of the Revolution lost souls and Storm can’t manipulate her. Storm smiles and says it was Magnus who hired a camera crew. He implies that he and Mickie used to be a thing and wonders why Mickie didn’t tell him about running into Storm in the parking lot. Good night how much better is Storm as the devil’s advocate instead of leading the horrible Revolution?

Angle says tonight is about violence and Young is leaving on a stretcher.

Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title stretcher match but you win by strapping your opponent to a stretcher, meaning no line to cross. Angle has a bruised knee and chest coming in. They trade stomps to start with Young throwing Kurt to the floor. Both guys are rammed into the steps with Angle getting the better of it, only to get sent hard into the post as we take a break. Back with Angle reversing a whip but getting punched in the jaw. A release belly to belly puts Young down but Eric sends him outside. Young stomps him onto the steps to put Angle down, allowing him to finally get the stretcher.

Angle can’t hit the German off the apron but he can roll the Germans back inside. The third one causes a turnbuckle pad to be ripped off but they fall to the floor with Kurt still holding the grip. A low blow with Young’s shin guard slows Kurt down but the piledriver is countered into a catapult into the post. Angle hits the Slam on the floor but can’t strap Young onto the stretcher. The piledriver is countered into the ankle lock but Eric rolls him into the buckle. Now a pair of piledrivers connect and Young straps him to the stretcher for the win at 15:21.

Rating: C. And my eyes roll again. There’s no crazy, there’s no reason to believe Young is winning the title in the likely title match next week, there’s no reason for Young to have this spot over his English counterpart and there’s no reason to believe we’re not getting Carter vs. Angle in the actually interesting feud. I can’t stand this story as it’s just killing time until we get to the feud people actually want to see. Again, if Young actually acted crazy, I might care a little bit, but his matches are just standard heel matches with a piledriver as a finisher. It gets old hearing HE’S CRAZY when there’s no actual evidence of him being crazy.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t do it for me as the hardcore stuff didn’t change much. I like a lot of the places they’re going and next week has potential to be interesting, but they MUST get past this Young main event run as he’s just not in Angle’s league. Storm vs. Magnus, Gail/Kong vs. the Dollhouse and Galloway vs. the BDC are all good though and I could go for Spud fighting to get his title back as well. It’s a passable show, but the hardcore stuff didn’t add much.

Results

Hardys/Davey Richards b. Revolution – Swanton Bomb to Abyss

Kenny King b. Rockstar Spud, Tigre Uno and Mandrews – King pulled down the title

Taryn Terrell b. Brooke – Cutter

Drew Galloway b. Low Ki – Future Shock on a chair

Eric Young b. Kurt Angle – Young strapped Angle to a chair

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews

This is a special episode, focusing on the Knockouts. We’ll be seeing new Knockouts debut, a Knockouts Title match with Taryn Terrell defending against Awesome Kong, a four way for the #1 contendership and an announcement on Mickie James’ in ring future. In non-Knockouts news, we have another announcement from Ethan Carter III and Kurt Angle defending the World Title against Eric Young. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes this up as TKO: A Night of Knockouts.

Here’s Angle to call out Eric Young for a talk. Eric comes out in his crazy attire instead of the old version that Kurt wanted to see. Before they fight tonight, Angle wants to know which version he’s getting. Young talks about being called crazy all his life but one day last year, that turned into a World Title. The crazy kept going but last week it stopped when Angle turned his back on him to offer Eric a free shot. Eric says he’ll fight Angle tonight, but it’s going to be the best version of him.

They shake hands but here’s Austin Aries, who says he’s cashing in tonight so Eric can find something else to do. He tells Angle to go get ready because it’s going to be one of the biggest fights of his life. Young doesn’t look pleased and will likely be back around for later in the night. Sidebar: what exactly is crazy about Eric Young? He’s certainly angry and aggressive, but not crazy.

Taryn Terrell says she’s keeping the title.

Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Brooke vs. Madison Rayne

Madison jumps Brooke in the aisle and it’s a big brawl before the bell. We take a very early break and come back with Brooke and Madison fighting over a suplex until Brooke gets sent to the apron, only to snap both Madison and Angelina across the top rope. Gail gets back in it with a double dropkick and a splash to Madison, only to eat Angelina’s spinwheel kick to put her down again. Brooke gets knocked to the floor, leaving Madison to get two off a northern lights suplex.

Gail sidesteps a missile dropkick but Brooke intercepts her charge and hammers on Madison in the corner. A middle rope X Factor gets two on Madison and Love gets dropped by a flapjack. We get the big multi-submission spot which has never gotten a fall ever, followed by Brooke dropping a top rope elbow on Rayne. Gail dropkicks Love down before both good girls cross body each other down. It’s time for the parade of finishers and Brooke hits the Tesshocker on Madison for the pin at 10:40.

Rating: C. If the Divas got time like this, I might be able to care about them a lot more. I also like that there aren’t many perky, happy Knockouts. It helps to have some shades of gray in there and girls with slightly more developed characters. Queen Bee, perky model and serious wrestler aren’t in depth characters, but they’re miles more defined than Alicia Fox, Layla and Natalya.

The Rising wants a fight with the BDC tonight, one on one. I’m still waiting on an explanation for why the Rising needs to exist.

Eric Young isn’t happy.

Micah vs. Kenny King

Rising vs. BDC. MVP says it’s going to be one on one but King jumps Micah in a surprise to get things going. The Rising is quickly ejected as Micah fights back and stomps King in the corner. King sends him to the floor for a beating from the BDC and puts on a chinlock, only to miss a spinning kick to the head. A Big Ending puts King down but MVP distracts the referee, allowing Low Ki to grab Micah’s foot. King kicks Micah in the head for two but springboards into a Samoan drop to give Micah the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but I have no idea why this feud needs to exist. Both teams are pretty generic and they would have been better off just doing MVP vs. Galloway. Not a bad match here but it’s a story I don’t care about because I haven’t been given a reason to care.

The Rising runs in but gets beaten down, including some shots with a pipe.

Post break, Galloway wants Low Ki next week in a steel pipe on a pole.

Jade vs. Laura Dennis

Dennis is better known as indy wrestler Cherry Bomb while Jade is Mia Yim as one half of the Dollhouse. She and Marti Belle skip to the ring to piano music and dance with each other in the ring. Laura kicks her in the side of the head to start as a Cherry Bomb chant starts up. Jade gets more fired up and pounds Laura in the head for two. Marti hands Jade something that looked like a jawbreaker, which seems to fire Jade up even more as she hits Laura in the head. Marti trips Laura up and gets ejected so she nails the referee and helps with a double team on Laura for the DQ at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Well that was creepy. Dollhouse is definitely something interesting and WAY different than the rest of the Knockouts. It’s the kind of different we haven’t seen since Winter, but hopefully this doesn’t turn into something really stupid. Really effective debut though and I want to see more from this team.

Dollhouse isn’t cool with how Christy announces the decision so they beat her up and stick the jawbreaker in her mouth and dropkick her into the steps.

Angle tells Young that he didn’t know Aries was going to do that. Young says history keeps repeating itself but Angle offers him the next shot. That’s not cool with Young, who threatens to leave. Amazingly enough, Angle doesn’t try to stop him. Smart man that Kurt.

Magnus introduces Mickie James for her big announcement. Mickie talks about her history in the ring and how amazing it feels to be in action, but now she has something more important: their son Donovan. She’s very grateful for the fans, but as of tonight, she’s going home to be a mom. This brings out James Storm, who says people know he loves hot women, fast cars and cold beer. He sees a female version of himself in Mickie and knows she loves to hear those chants.

No one wants to see her go, but Magnus says this was too hard of a decision. James keeps going but Mickie asks him to stop because her decision is made. Storm understands the love she has for her son but these people love Mickie James. He’s asking for one more match and actually talks Mickie into it. This was more Cowboy James Storm than Revolution James Storm, which is rather interesting indeed. Magnus looks annoyed at the decision but forces a smile.

During the break, Magnus says he supports the decision but still doesn’t look thrilled. Davey Richards comes up and warns Magnus to stay away from Storm because he’s evil. Magnus appreciates the advice.

Davey Richards vs. Manik

In a case of bad editing, Davey is in the ring three seconds after he was shown walking to the ring and Manik gets an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Davey nailing a dropkick but charging into a hurricanrana with Manik going into a cross armbreaker. A snap suplex into a belly to back puts Richards down for two and we hit the chinlock. Manik puts on another armbreaker over the ropes but dives into a kick to the chest. The double stomp misses so Davey throws him into the air for a kick to the chest, setting up Creeping Death for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: C. Well, that was in fact a wrestling match and I’m kind of struggling to come up with anything else to say about it. The X-Division is just filler at the moment and I actually had to think for a second to figure out who has the title right now. Nothing to see here but the match was fine.

Post match the Revolution comes out to beat on Davey but the Hardys make the save, likely setting up a six man.

Ethan Carter says he debuts a new campaign tonight.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus (in a suit and hat, holding balloons) for the announcement. Josh says we’ve been wondering about this for weeks. I’ve been wondering about it for maybe an hour and a half as I hadn’t heard about it until the beginning of this show. Carter declares himself the next World Champion and brags about beating every member of the Hall of Fame. This brings out Mr. Anderson for some easy political jokes but Tyrus gets in his face. Anderson gives a good speech about the work it takes to win championships but Ethan wants to fight. They start brawling but Carter bails before it gets too bad.

Video on Taryn Terrell wanting to fight Awesome Kong.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell

Terrell is defending. Before the match, Taryn asks to make this No DQ and Kong has no issue. Kong easily knocks her to the floor and giant swings the champ into the barricade. It’s kendo stick time, because those were just laying under the ring in case a No DQ match broke out. Taryn escapes a powerbomb into the steps and avoids a splash back inside.

An ax handle puts Kong down and it’s table time, as per the fans’ request. As she’s setting it up though, here’s the Dollhouse. They stand at ringside as Kong puts Taryn on the table for a splash before getting on the apron for some very weak kendo stick shots. Taryn gets up and a triple powerbomb puts Kong through the table for the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D+. Angle instead of a match here but I’m digging the idea of Taryn leading the Dollhouse. It’s certainly an interesting idea that they haven’t tried before, and the Knockouts division has needed some fresh blood for way too long now. Good idea here and an interesting turn.

Taryn grabs a mic and says everyone told her she couldn’t do it. Well now no one can beat her because her friends don’t play nice. This is their house: the Dollhouse. Jade and Marti dance around her before giving Kong the jawbreaker.

Aries is coming to the ring and runs into Young as he leaves. Austin apologizes and offers Eric the first shot.

Magnus comes up to the production staff and asks them to follow Mickie while he’s working.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending but it’s 10:56 and Angle’s music hasn’t even started playing yet. As you probably expect, Eric Young sneaks in and attacks Aries with the briefcase before Kurt appears and piledrives him on the floor. A second piledriver on the steps FINALLY brings Angle out for some shouting. Young sends Angle into the steps to bust him open and goes after the knee, setting up the Figure Four.

The show ends with a preview for next week’s Hardcore Justice, which was April’s One Night Only and includes at least one match from the show. That’s a new idea and based on the old One Night Only shows, one of the worst possible things they could do.

Overall Rating: B. Other than the Eric Young stuff (more on that later), I really liked this show. The Dollhouse is an interesting idea and a fresh direction for the division and the focus on the Knockouts held up WAY better than I was expecting. As I said earlier, just adding some character to their matches helps it so much and gives you something to cheer for. I also dug the idea of Storm going after the family unit for whatever reason. Him not having the Revolution around him makes him so much more enjoyable too.

As for Young, this was another example of why I don’t like him in this spot. In addition to not liking the CRAZY thing (because he isn’t acting crazy), there are so many other people who could be in this spot. Storm, Carter, Bram, Aries, even MVP or Galloway would be more interesting opponents for Angle. Young comes off as a guy who is in over his head and is just there to get beaten in the end. Why have average when you could have really good? Anyway, really solid show tonight and a very big surprise.

Results

Brooke b. Gail Kim, Angelina Love and Madison Rayne – Tesshocker to Rayne

Micah b. Kenny King – Samoan drop

Laura Dennis b. Jade via DQ when Marti Belle interfered

Davey Richards b. Manik – Creeping Death

Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong – Powerbomb through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 17, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews

Tonight is a one idea show as there will be a full Tag Team Title tournament with four first round matches and the winners advancing to an Ultimate X match for the championships. There may also be some more about Kurt Angle’s World Title, with Eric Young as the next potential challenger due to Angle not pinning him last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a preview of the tournament.

Here are the first round matches:

James Storm/Khoya

Hardys

Low Ki/Kenny King

Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud

Ethan Carter III/Bram

Tigre Uno/Jay Rios

BroMans

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Khoya/James Storm vs. Hardys

The Hardys attack at the bell and it’s a brawl to start. The Revolution gets the better of it with Khoya throwing Jeff around to take over and the fans cheering for Matt. James and Khoya take turns beating on Matt until Storm puts on a chinlock. Khoya gets two off a clothesline but Matt sweeps Storm’s leg and makes the tag off to Jeff. Things speed way up with the legdrop between the legs and basement dropkick to Storm’s face but Jeff has to deal with an interfering Khoya. That goes badly for the Revolution as Storm Last Calls Khoya by mistake, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: C-. This was fine but I’m not wild on either team. The Revolution stopped being interesting months ago and the fact that the Tag Team Titles is the best they can do at this point tells you everything you need to do know about them. They just don’t have anything to do and they haven’t since day one. With no direction, there’s no point to the team being around.

Storm beats up Khoya, hopefully signaling the ending of the group.

The Hardys say it’s time to fulfill their destiny. To be associated with better teams and be considered great by proxy instead of doing anything by yourselves?

Eric Young says he should be #1 contender. We get a CRAZY closeup of his CRAZY face to make sure that his CRAZY voice is clearly heard. He’s CRAZY you see.

Here’s Eric Young in a Kurt Angle shirt. He’s not happy because Angle is ducking him for a World Title shot. Young doesn’t care how many people he has to hurt because he wants his shot as #1 contender. This brings out Kurt, who says if Young wants to say something to him, say it to his face.

Young sees him as someone that can be hurt because the title belongs to him. Kurt says the title match is next week but he wants to know why Eric is doing all these things. Young talks about a hole in his spirit after he lost the title. That’s fine with Angle, but he wants the old Eric Young next week. Kurt turns his back and dares Eric to hit him, but Young says he’ll see him next week. This has been another chapter in “Eric Young sucks and has no business in this spot” theater.

The BDC threatens Spud in the back but Anderson comes in for the save.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Rockstar Spud/Mr. Anderson vs. Kenny King/Low Ki

Spud charges in a bit too fast and gets double teamed to start with Low Ki chopping him down. After both BDC members get in some right hands, King stomps Spud in the back to keep him from lunging for a tag. King ducks an enziguri and kicks Spud in the ribs to keep him in trouble but the fans are entirely behind Spud. Ki puts on an abdominal stretch to stay on the bad ribs for some psychology.

The BDC breaks up another hot tag attempt so Anderson comes in with a double clothesline and drags Spud to the corner before getting back on the apron. That makes the hot tag a lot easier and Anderson comes in to clean house. Anderson throws Spud into a hurricanrana to send Ki to the floor and the Underdog plants King, only to have Ki come off the top with the Warrior’s Way to Spud, giving King the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. Standard tag match here which means it was fine for the most part. They even threw in some basic psychology with the rib work, which is more than you get most of the time. The BDC going in makes more sense as they have the experience together, which is more than enough to take down a makeshift team comprised of an overrated guy in Anderson and a plucky underdog.

Carter says he and Bram will win the titles tonight as a preview for his World Title run. Bram: “I’m going to rip Tigre Uno’s mask off and shove it down his throat!” Carter: “Good! Just make sure we win first.”

MVP and Homicide congratulate Ki and King on the win. Homicide is given the special assignment (RUN! That’s what they told Taz!) of beating up Kurt Angle.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Jay Rios/Tigre Uno vs. Bram/Ethan Carter III

Rios is a masked man who appeared as a jobber in TNA back in the Jeff Jarrett MMA days. He’s certainly no Essa. Carter and Rios trade wristlocks to start before Tigre comes in for a double dropkick. Carter bails to the floor and Tigre makes the mistake of diving at Tyrus like a schmuck, earning him a World’s Strongest Slam on the floor.

Bram gets in some stomps before Carter throws on a chinlock. A leg dive keeps Tigre from making the hot tag but Bram misses an elbow, allowing for the lukewarm tag to Rios. Jay flips out of a backdrop and hits a springboard into a cutter but Carter uses the arm brace to knock Rios silly, setting up the Brighter Side of Suffering, but Carter tags himself in for the pin at 3:50.

Rating: D. I’m really not a fan of matches like these as they make the show feel even longer than it already does. It helps that they kept it so short but this show really hasn’t done much to make me care about the main event so far. The fact that Bram and Carter are already having issues doesn’t help either.

Kurt Angle says Young has gone from genius to crazy but he wants the old Young back. As for Homicide, he better have good insurance.

Christy Hemme brings out the Knockouts (or at least five of them) to announcer that next week is a night of all Knockouts. Love thinks the night should be all about her because she has the most Knockout Titles of all time. The fans chant for Brooke as Gail goes on her usual rant about how awesome the Knockouts are. Madison cuts her off before the entire building falls asleep and says none of them are the Queen Bee.

Christy tries to calm them down with the offer of a fourway between Brooke, Gail, Madison and Angelina for the #1 contendership. Brooke is WAY too excited about this announcement. There will also be new Knockouts and Taryn defending against Kong. Taryn talks about her passion and how she’ll prove herself next week. Kong comes out and cleans house but Taryn dives onto everyone.

The BroMans seem to have issues with each other but Aries and Roode come in to say they’ll focus on Robbie, who is clearly the better BroMan. Methinks shenanigans are afoot. Robbie leaves and Roode thinks he bought it. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries had to cause friction to beat the BroMans? Really?

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: BroMans vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

For the fourth match of the night, the good guys attack to start with Robbie getting beaten down by both former World Champions early on. Aries sidesteps an invading Jesse to send him into his partner, setting up the Hennig neck snap for two on Robbie. The BroMans finally get in some offense but get in an argument over who gets to work on Roode. Robbie hooks a chinlock before a clothesline gets two.

Jesse demands a tag and Robbie isn’t too keen on doing as he asks. Roode comes back with a neckbreaker to drop both guys and the hot tag brings in Austin. He’s quickly stopped by Godderz, but Jesse gets a bit too bossy, allowing Roode to break up the BroDown. Aries knocks Jesse outside for a suicide dive, setting up the spinebuster into the 450 from Aries for the pin on Jesse at 5:20.

Rating: C. This was fine for the most part as Roode and Aries work really well together, but again, they needed to put a wedge between the BroMans? Aries continues to be the most polished guy in the company and pretty easily the best guy around, which hopefully leads him back to the World Title scene soon.

The BroMans fight post match with DJZ coming out to try and break it up.

Homicide is beating up Angle in the back. The fight heads into the arena after a break with Angle getting back into it but eating a cutter in the ring. Angle ducks a boot shot and grabs the ankle lock, drawing in the BDC for the group attack. They bring in a chair but the Rising comes out to get rid of everyone but MVP. Eric Young comes out to stop MVP from bashing Angle with the chair but picks it up himself, only to drop it and leave (in a CRAAAAZY manner of course. Because he’s crazy you see).

Video on Ultimate X.

Dollhouse is coming.

Preview for next week’s Knockouts show.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Ethan Carter III/Bram vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Ultimate X. Huge brawl to start with the Hardys and Roode/Aries throwing the other four outside. Roode and Aries start taking over with Matthews continuing to call them by their old name of the Dirty Heels. The Hardys are tossed outside as well and we take a break. Back with the BDC and Bram/Carter clearing the ring for a change with Bram and Carter throwing the BDC to the floor. They decide to bring in a ladder but that’s the Hardys game, allowing them to come back in and take over.

The BDC and the Hardys go for the ropes but Tyrus shakes the structure to break it up. Tyrus puts Carter on his shoulders but Aries dropkicks them down before Roode hits the Blockbuster on Bram. Roode gets on Aries’ shoulders but Homicide comes in for the save. Now it’s King and Matt on the ladder and Hardy hooking a Twist of Fate to put everyone down. Matt climbs up again but Ki springboards onto the ladder for the save. As they fight, Jeff climbs up above the X, kicks Ki away and pulls down the belts, while standing on a ladder of course, to win at 12:06.

Rating: B-. So we sat through an hour and a half of qualifying matches to see eight and a half minutes of a ladder match that TNA calls Ultimate X? Eh at least it’s not more Eric Young so I can live with it. This was good enough but the Hardys winning doesn’t do much for me. I know it’s setting up a big match with the Wolves when they get back but this doesn’t do much to change the opinion that the Hardys don’t do much outside of gimmick matches.

Overall Rating: C. This felt like an Impact sized version of One Night Only and if you’ve ever seen one of those, you know how bad that is. The problem here is the title match wasn’t good enough to validate the not very good buildup. Other than that we had Eric Young and the BDC tormenting Angle all night, which is about as dull of a one two punch as I’ve seen in years. It doesn’t help that this show felt like it hit the brakes at 9:45 and crawled all the way to the ending, making this far more dull than bad. One final note: Matthews was actually really solid on his own. It was a very nice surprise.

Results

Hardys b. James Storm/Khoya – Swanton Bomb to Khoya

Kenny King/Low Ki b. Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud – King pinned Spud after a Warrior’s Way from Ki

Ethan Carter III/Bram b. Tigre Uno/Jay Rios – Brighter Side of Suffering to Rios

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. BroMans – 450 to Godderz

Hardys b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode, Low Ki/Kenny King and Bram/Ethan Carter III – Hardys pulled down the belts

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 10, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Josh Matthews

This is an interesting time for TNA as they have a bunch of potential challengers for Kurt Angle’s World Title but it seems that Lashley has the most valid claim to a shot. Last week Angle pinned Lashley but the replay showed that Lashley’s shoulder was up. Other than that we have Drew Galloway’s Rising ready to deal with MVP’s Beat Down Clan. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Galloway debuting a few weeks back to try and take back wrestling from the Beat Down Clan. He now has his friends in the Rising to help in his battle.

Tonight, fan Tweets will be airing on screen. This is apparently interesting for reasons that I don’t really understand but WWE does it so it’s a good idea right?

Here’s Kurt Angle to address the end of last week’s show. There’s been a lot of buzz over the match with Lashley so he’d like Lashley out here right now. We look at the tape of Lashley’s shoulder being up and the fans want a rematch. Angle says he won’t back down from a title defense because he knows he can beat Lashley again. They’re ready to fight tonight but Eric Young comes out to crank up the suck.

Eric says he’s #1 contender and the rankings say so. He’s a main event champion and Angle is holding his belt. The fans don’t seem to agree but Young grabs Lashley’s face. Angle goes for Young but Lashley spears the champ down by mistake. Oh the drama. Maybe we can see Eric Young get in a match way over his head again but get to see him survive because he’s Eric Young and has been around forever and for some reason that makes him interesting. I mean, he’s not tall like Big Show but he has been around a long time.

Post break, Angle is still in the ring and says he’ll fight Lashley and Young tonight at the same time.

Video on the history of Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim.

Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

#1 contenders match. They go nose to nose until Gail gets launched across the ring by the hair. Back up and Kin gets in a few unsold shots before being tossed right back down. As the match goes on, I get THRILLING Tweets of fans saying they like the match and that they’re watching the show. You can’t buy journalism like this people. Gail fights up from a camel clutch but runs into a hard clothesline. King rips the turnbuckle pad off and sends Gail outside, only to get dropkicked into the barricade.

Back in and Gail fires off forearms to the chest before getting two off a spinning cross body. Kong misses a charge into the exposed buckle to give Gail two as we get a Tweet from Jim Ross about how good Gail is. See, that’s the kind of thing we need live commentary to point out. Eat Defeat gets another near fall but Kong just grabs her by the throat and sets Kim on the top rope. Gail dives again and goes right into the Awesome Bomb for the pin at 7:18.

Rating: C. This is one of those old, storied feuds in TNA that was indeed cool ten years ago or however long it was, but now it’s more like “hey, I remember when they had matches back then.” Thankfully they didn’t play that up too strong here and it was really just a step above a Kong squash. Taryn vs. Kong could be good if they book it right.

We immediately cut to James Storm and Mickie James. Mickie thanks him for the save last week but that’s just how southerners are raised. This is more like the old Storm. She goes to leave but he asks for a hug. Manik comes up and asks what was up with that but Storm goes back into Revolution mode and tells Manik to never question his motives. He orders Manik to round up the team for a fight. That transition from Kong to Storm was way too fast and something TNA needs to work on. It’s ok to stay on the winner more than two seconds before you get to your next thing.

Back from a break with the Revolution in the ring and Storm sitting in a chair. He’s brought them out here to make things very clear: this is about a revolution, not for him to take care of them. Each and every one of the men in this ring failed him, which is why Sanada is gone. Storm yells at Khoya, saying he brought him out of that horrible country but now Khoya has failed him.

There’s always room for one more, but now there can always be room for one less. He’s going to win this Tag Team Title tournament and one of them is going to be his partner. The fans chant for Manik, but Storm makes a three way to determine who gets the spot. A referee comes out and Storm insists that there must be a winner.

Abyss vs. Khoya vs. Manik

Abyss cleans house but Manik hits him with a chair, which seems to be legal. Khoya picks up a stick that Storm left in the ring but Abyss knocks him into the corner. Apparently the title match is next week in Ultimate X. That’s rather sudden but that’s life in TNA. Manik counters a chokeslam into a standing cross armbreaker (Six Second Magic for you No Mercy fans out there) but Khoya comes in for the save. A Sky High to Manik is enough to get Khoya the spot in the tournament at 2:50.

We go back to James Storm’s barn with the ghost hunters from last week. The results are inconclusive.

Here’s the Rising for a chat. Drew really does fit in this role. He’s so awesome that he can cut a promo and have his LIVE Tweet show up on screen at the same time. Drew says he’d give us the shirt off his back and that’s exactly what he does. He started the Stand Up campaign to bring wrestling back where it belongs and the fans are part of the Rising with them. Drew hands the microphone off for the official introductions.

First up we have Micah, formerly known as Camacho. The BDC is a bunch of bullies and it’s time to punch them right in the mouth. The other member is Eli Drake (you might know him as Shaun Ricker) and he talks about how they’re definitely not Superstars, but professional wrestlers. Drew throws down the gauntlet and here’s the BDC to answer. King thinks they’re rising like a yeast infection and MVP accepts the challenge. Drew counts down from three to one and the brawl is on in the aisle as we go to a break. Drake and Micah are just warm bodies but they were fine here.

Rising vs. Beat Down Clan

This would be the second match made by the wrestlers in the first hour. King grabs a headlock on Drake to start but gets caught in a powerslam. It’s quickly off to Micah vs. MVP with the BDC taking over and stomping away in the corner. MVP comes back in and puts on a chinlock before kicking Micah in the face for two. Micah scores with a Samoan drop and Drew gets the hot tag to clean house. Everything breaks down with the Rising clearing the ring, leaving Micah to dive onto all three of them. Drew and Drake pose but a masked man in BDC gear sneaks in with what looked like a pipe for the DQ at 6:52.

Rating: D+. This match was watchable but I’m really not seeing why I should care. Rising is a bunch of newcomers and Drew stands out, but I’m not really sure why these teams need to fight. The BDC hasn’t actually won anything other than the X Title once or twice. Do we really need a stable to fight against them?

The masked man is Homicide. Oh…..great.

Angle says he’s ready to prove himself again when Eric Young jumps him. After a break, Angle insists he’s fighting tonight.

DJZ vs. Davey Richards

Feeling out process to start with both guys flying around a bit until Davey dropkicks him out to the floor. Davey kicks him in the face from the apron but DJZ comes back with some shots of his own back inside. That’s fine with Davey as he wins a slugout and sends DJZ to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in again and a running kick gets two for Davey but he misses the top rope stomp. Instead he throws DJZ up in the air for the kick to the chest, setting up a spinning kick to the head (Creeping Death) for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C. Well that happened. I guess they’re setting up the tag tournament next week but it was announced as the X-Division match of the night. The match was entertaining enough but having matches for the sake of having a match isn’t the best way to get my interest up. Still though, watchable.

Homicide says the BDC is familia. MVP says they’re the Beat Down Clan and they do what they do because they can. I’ve heard worse catchphrases.

We see some girls playing with dolls. The Dollhouse is coming soon. The girls appeared to be Marti Belle and Mia Yim.

Here are the Hardys to celebrate beating James Storm last week. Next on their list is winning the Tag Team Champions for the first time in TNA. This brings out Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to remind us that Ethan is undefeated for nineteen months, but somehow he hasn’t gotten his title shot. He’s entering the tournament to get a Tag Team Title, but he needs a partner. He wants someone who can hurt people and that man is…..Bram. Now that’s interesting. Bram comes out and says he hates everyone, but he’ll team up with Carter because he hates him the least.

This brings out Anderson, who asks if Carter just said he and Bram are the odds on favorites. Carter: “Yup.” Anderson: “Huh?” “Yeah.” “Huh?” “I do.” “Huh?” “Indeed.” This goes on for about ten more seconds because Carter is rather entertaining on the mic. Anderson’s partner is Spud and they have a quick argument over Spud grabbing Anderson’s microphone. The two of them head to the ring but Austin Aries comes out, talks about loving gold, and announces Roode as his partner.

A preview for next week shows that we have four qualifying matches and the winners going to an Ultimate X match for the Tag Team Titles. It also shows the four teams in the Ultimate X match because these previews aren’t thought out in advance.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young vs. Lashley

Angle is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Young hides on the floor to start and lets the suplex machines fight, but they quickly get together and beat Young back and forth. Lashley plays Bret on a Hart Attack and Young gets beaten up on the floor as we take a break. Back with Angle busting out the suplexes on both guys and clotheslining Lashley to the floor. Kurt ducks his head and eats a piledriver but Lashley makes the save and throws Eric outside.

The running powerslam gets two on the champ and a big spear gets the same with Young making the save. Lashley tweaks his ankle on a leapfrog but is still able to low bridge Eric to the floor due to Eric sucking so much. Both challengers get rolling Germans but Young breaks up the ankle lock (it lasts about 20 seconds, which Josh timed as three minutes) and puts Lashley in the Figure Four. Lashley makes the rope so Eric wedges a chair in the corner, only to get caught in the delayed vertical. The spear hits the chair though and Angle Slams both guys, setting up the moonsault onto Lashley’s bad leg for the pin at 13:43.

Rating: B-. So now we get Angle vs. Young because Young will be CRAZY while saying he never got beat right? You know, because we absolutely, totally and completely need Eric Young in our lives and main events. He’s been around for years you know. The match was decent enough, as long as Young was kept reined in.

Post match Angle leaves so Young goes after Bobby’s leg with the chair and puts on another figure four.

Overall Rating: C+. Decent enough show that set up the tournament next week, but the wrestling outside of the main event was only so good. The stories don’t have the same heat they did a few weeks back, but at least we’ve still got enough good stuff to keep things going. I would however appreciate a top heel instead of a bunch of mid level ones running around. Angle seems to be a transitional champion and that’s the right kind of reign for him at the moment, hopefully with Carter rising up to the top spot soon enough.

Results

Awesome Kong b. Gail Kim – Awesome Bomb

Khoya b. Abyss and Manik – Sky High to Manik

Rising b. Beat Down Clan via DQ when Homicide interfered

Davey Richards b. DJZ – Creeping Death

Kurt Angle b. Lashley and Eric Young – Moonsault to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 3, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re still in Orlando and the big story tonight is who gets to be the #1 contender. A large group of people want the shot at Angle but tonight Lashley gets the World Title shot at Kurt Angle. As far as other in ring action goes, tonight we have Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young in what is being billed as their final showdown. Let’s get to it.

This show is also billed as bell to bell, but it’s not yet clear what that means.

On tap for tonight, Lashley vs. Angle for the title, Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love, Magnus vs. Bram in a falls count anywhere match and Young vs. Roode in a submission match.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Before the match, Young says all good things must come to an end. Tonight, he says he’s ending Roode’s career and tonight it’s the final chapter for Roode. Matthews says this feud has become like Pacquiao vs. Mayweather. No, no it hasn’t. Roode says he’s already won two matches against Young but now Young wants to be the #1 contender. Tonight, Roode is making sure that this story ends forever. Young promises to make Roode tap, so Roode accepts this as a submission match, even though that was announced earlier in the show.

The fight starts on the floor with Roode getting the better of it but coming back inside to get stomped down. Josh talks about an interview with the referee earlier in the week where he talked about this kind of a match, making the pre-match promo sound even more out of place. They head back outside with Young in control and raking the eyes.

Roode can’t get the Crossface as Young makes it to the ropes, which the announcers cover by saying the referee wasn’t going to call submissions in the ropes despite a lack of disqualifications. Not the best explanation but it’s better than nothing. Back in again and Roode gets kicked in the leg but still catches Eric in the spinebuster. We come back from a break with Roode getting thrown out of the corner and jarring his knee again.

Young throws on a leg bar but Bobby is next to the ropes, which gets a count from the referee. It’s time for Young to get psycho again and bend the knee around the post with something like Bret Hart’s Hartbreaker. The referee breaks it up again and Roode gets back up for a quick Crossface. Young has a bad arm coming in but is able to get to the ropes for the break.

Instead Roode puts on a Boston crab but gets kicked to the floor on the escape. Young sends the knee into the steps again and we hit the figure four inside. Bobby turns it over and the referee is bumped, just as Roode puts on the Crossface to make Young tap. No referee though so Young hits a leg lariat and turns his leg brace around to make the Figure Four hurt even worse, forcing Roode to tap at 16:58. So we’re back to Garvin vs. Valentine from 1990 now?

Rating: B-. Gah of course Young wins because WE MUST PRAISE HIS NAME for being all intense and looking like he’s trying to scare small children. See, he’s really crazy and we have to watch him hurt people, likely because he’s one of the only people they know won’t leave. I’m sick of seeing Young pushed and having him trade wins with Bobby Roode isn’t going to make me care about him.

Here’s Davey Richards with both tag belts. Eddie Edwards follows him out on crutches and it looks like the titles are going to be vacated. Eddie says he’s broken his heel in half and the titles are going to have to be held up as the Wolves can’t defend them. JB asks Davey about a replacement partner but Davey says the Wolves aren’t the Wolves without Eddie so no deal. They’ll be coming for the titles when his foot heals.

Lashley promises to get his title back.

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Love says she flaunts what she has but she’s also a great wrestler. She promises to prove it tonight and blasts Gail in the face at the opening bell. A side slam gets two on Gail as the announcers argue over whether being a champion means you’re the best. Josh says holding the belt means you’re the best, which is what the belt used to mean a long time ago before someone decided they were just props you pass around for fun. They head outside with Gail being sent into the apron but coming back with a Russian legsweep to send Love into them as well.

Both girls beat the count back in and slug it out with Gail taking over and scoring with a missile dropkick for two. Eat Defeat is countered so Gail goes up for a hurricanrana, only to have Love just stand there as Gail crashes. It was supposed to be a powerbomb counter I think but Love didn’t actually use her arms. The Botox Injection gets two as Gail gets her foot on the ropes. Another attempt hits the ropes though and Eat Defeat gives Kim the pin at 6:49.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of either of these girls and this didn’t make me care much more. Gail in the title scene has been done so many times that it’s really hard to care, but I have a feeling they’re setting up another Kong vs. Kim match because this company LOVES to recap stuff that was cool ten years ago.

The cast of a ghost hunting show goes to the Revolution’s ranch. Storm asks them to see if an old friend of his is still haunting a barn so the cast investigates. They think there might have been a murder. More on this later.

We recap Bram vs. Magnus, with Magnus wanting to be a family man and Bram wanting him to be back like his old self again. Bram has gone insane over it and attacked Magnus over and over, eventually bringing Magnus’ girlfriend Mickie James into it.

Magnus vs. Bram

Falls count anywhere. Magnus takes it right to the floor to start and sends Bram into the barricade. They head up to the stage where Bram tries a powerbomb like Magnus did last week but Magnus quickly counters out. He can’t piledrive Bram on the stage either and gets dropped by a low blow. Back to ringside with Bram sending him into the apron but getting caught by a missile dropkick back inside. Magnus can’t keep control though and they head outside with Bram sending him into the steps. With an evil smile on his face, Bram comes back in with some right hands but walks into a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Magnus punching from the middle rope as the announcers hype a live Twitter on next week’s show. Both guys are down so here’s Mickie James to cheer for Magnus but he wants her to leave. The distraction lets Bram get a chair to blast Magnus in the back. He sends Magnus into the post as well before laying him on the steps. Now Mickie gets in to distract Bram but James Storm of all people comes out to say you don’t hit a woman.

Magnus gets back up and stomps a charging Bram with a boot, setting up something like a Rock Bottom for two. Magnus can’t follow up though and gets chaired in the head for another near fall. The Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gets two more and Bram is stunned. Back up and Magnus hits a powerbomb, followed by a second powerbomb and the belly to back into a Rock Bottom (the Spineshaker according to Wikipedia) for the pin at 18:55.

Rating: B. I liked this more than I thought I would and I was very relieved that Storm just stopped a single thing and then left. This continues to be one of the best stories TNA has done in a very long time and I didn’t want the Revolution to screw that up. Good brawl here, but the ending kind of came out of nowhere.

Angle says Lashley has never fought anyone like him.

Magnus goes up to ask Storm what that was about. Storm says he was looking out for an old friend. Magnus isn’t sure what to think of that and we can’t see Mickie’s reaction.

We look at Angle vs. Lashley with Kurt winning the title.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging and wearing orange tonight. Angle’s entrance takes place during the break. Feeling out process to start with Lashley knocking him to the mat off a shoulder. Lashley slows things down with a headlock and Kurt heads outside for a breather. Back in and Lashley wrestles him to the mat but the champ fights up and nails a clothesline to send Lashley outside. Back in again and Lashley drives a shoulder into the ribs and puts on a bearhug. He switches over to a waistlock but the fans get Kurt to fight up.

We come back from a break with Lashley still stomping away but getting backdropped to the floor. Lashley gets back in but Angle can’t roll the Germans on him. A spinebuster gets two on the champion and Lashley is getting annoyed. He misses a big swing though and now some Germans connect but Lashley grabs the ropes to counter the third. Kurt gets caught in a running powerslam for two but the third attempt at rolling Germans works better. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s off to the ankle lock but Lashley rolls him to the floor. A limping Lashley follows him outside and sends Kurt into the steps.

They get back in with Lashley smiling, then no selling the ankle lock with a one armed delayed vertical suplex. A good looking spear gets two and Angle is bleeding from the back of his head. With nothing left to do, Lashley goes up top but gets caught in a super Angle Slam for a close two. Angle completely misses the moonsault and now it’s Lashley putting Kurt in the ankle lock. The champ almost taps but rolls Lashley into the buckle for a rollup to retain at 21:19. Lashley’s shoulder was clearly off the mat.

Rating: B+. I liked the match but it didn’t quite hit the mark the previous one did. This felt like they were going for the huge match feel and it worked to a degree, but it felt more like they were just trying instead of achieving. Still though, really good stuff here and more than worthy of a TV main event.

Lashley shakes hands but the replay shows that his shoulder was indeed up.

Overall Rating: B. Really solid show for the pay per view caliber show of the month. The Knockouts weren’t great but Angelina hasn’t been a top shelf worker for a good while now. The main event was good and Bram vs. Magnus continues to be awesome. If they can find some way to maim Eric Young and launch him to Mars, everything will be great in TNA all over again. I’m still not sure what Bell to Bell meant but at least it was still entertaining.

Results

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Figure Four

Gail Kim b. Angelina Love – Eat Defeat

Magnus b. Bram – Spineshaker

Kurt Angle b. Lashley – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 27, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re finally back in America after a pretty awesome UK tour and the main story is Kurt Angle defeating Lashley to win the World Title. As for tonight, the big story is the return of Jeff Hardy from his annual “I can’t go to Europe” leave for a showdown inside a cage against James Storm. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Storm shoving Hardy off the cage a few weeks ago to put him out of action.

Here are Storm and Khoya for a chat to get things going. Storm says tonight is supposed to be about Hardy’s revenge but Hardy isn’t here. A few weeks back, Storm did exactly what he said he was going to do when he put out Jeff and then last week he did the same to Matt. Jeff Hardy is known for diving off cages so Storm just tried to help him. The fans chant for Hardy so Storm pulls out a watermelon and says this is Hardy before throwing it over the cage and out to the floor.

This brings out Jeff who says Storm did what no one else could do and put him out for a bit, but Jeff is still standing. He wants to start now, but here’s Manik to get in a cheap shot and lay Hardy out. Storm orders Manik to break his arm but Jeff hits a twisting Stunner to put Manik down. This brings out Abyss to send Jeff into the cage but Hardy takes the chair away from Abyss and lays him out. Jeff asks someone to lower the roof of the cage, which happens to be full of weapons. The match is later tonight.

We look at Austin Aries getting his Feast or Fired briefcase back, allowing Spud to win the X-Division Title.

The BDC says they can’t replace someone (meaning Joe) but MVP says it’s time for Low Ki to get the X-Division Title back tonight.

Ad for the Sting DVD set. How long has it been since they had a DVD release?

Storm sends Khoya to get rid of Jeff Hardy.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Rockstar Spud

Rematch from last week’s “match”. I’m not the biggest Low Ki fan so hopefully this doesn’t end Spud’s hot streak. It’s a slow start until Ki takes him down to the mat for a hard kick to the ribs. Spud’s chops have no effect but some right hands do. That’s the extent of his offense though as Spud gets dropped again and keeps shaking his head. A double stomp knocks Spud silly and he has to beat a ten count back up.

Back up and Spud snaps off some left hands followed by a dropkick as he tries to speed things up. He plants Ki with a running DDT and takes off the bowtie. Cue MVP and King for distractions to break up the Underdog, but Drew Galloway distracts them, allowing Spud to small Low Ki for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D. Spud got beaten up for most of the match here before a fluke ending. I’ve never been a fan of booking that makes the champion look weak and that’s exactly how Spud came off. He doesn’t have the highest stature in the first place and this isn’t the best way for him to look stronger. Drew vs. the BDC isn’t the most interesting feud in the world either.

Post break the BDC is still in the ring (oh joy) to rant about Galloway and threaten to send him to the hospital. MVP wants Drew out here right now and that’s exactly what he gets. Drew admits that he’s both dumb and crazy because he’s still here after King hit him with a pipe. He wants to know who will stand up with him tonight and asks the fans if they’re tired of the BDC.

Drew says they have a rising going on right now but King turns it into a Braveheart analogy. Ki wants Low Ki right now and it’s on, with two guys (the recently released Camacho and indy wrestler Shaun Ricker) jumping in from the crowd for a three on three brawl. The newly named Rising clear the ring. Great. ANOTHER faction.

Video on Kong wanting to take Taryn Terrell’s Knockout Title.

The BDC is ready to call someone to replace Joe.

Brooke vs. Awesome Kong

Let the squashing begin. Brooke fires off kicks to the leg but gets run over by a standing clothesline. A front slam drops Brooke again before King stands on her hair. Brooke even tries to fight back from the mat but her forearms have no effect. Kong shrugs off some clotheslines but the Awesome Bomb is countered (Kidman!) into a faceplant. A top rope elbow gets two on Kong but she comes back with a chokeslam and the Implant Buster for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. I’m glad that they’re back to having Brooke just be eye candy instead of having her do WACKY COMEDY with Robbie E. At least this match made Kong look dominant instead of having her lose in a triple threat, even though that’s the calling card of the Knockouts division.

Kong hits another Implant Buster and gets a table from under the ring. Taryn comes in to hammer on Kong, eventually putting her down with a missile dropkick and low bridging her to the floor. Kong shrugs all that off though and powerbombs Terrell through the table.

Video on Lashley vs. Angle from last week.

Aries implies he’s cashing in tonight.

Jeff Hardy is talking about the match tonight when Khoya comes in. Hardy fights him off and finds a conveniently placed ladder to get in even more damage. Khoya tries to get up so Jeff breaks bottles over his face. That’s a bit excessive.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his championship celebration. He says this is title #14 (it’s still a huge stretch Kurt) but this one is different. Kurt talks about having to work this much harder to get here and it’s his proudest moment thus far. Cue Ethan Carter III (FINALLY) to talk about how Angle has inspired everyone in the back, even him.

Angle did the impossible last week when he beat Lashley, but it seems impossible to go 18 months undefeated and beat every TNA Hall of Famer (minus D-Von but who cares about him anyway). Angle doesn’t buy it but here’s Roode to interrupt as well. He wants his rematch for the title and Angle doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. Angle deserves this moment but it’s just a moment.

This brings out Eric Young (of freaking course) to say he took the title from Bobby Roode because he’s always been better than Bobby. Young says the title goes through him but Austin Aries comes out carrying the briefcase. After pointing out that Carter hasn’t won the title, he opens the briefcase and reveals a bottle of champagne. The question is who the toast is for. Angle says he’ll fight anyone anywhere anytime. As he goes to leave, Lashley comes out to say it’s his rematch time. That’s fine with Angle but a huge brawl breaks out with all the people in the ring. We’re still not done because Mr. Anderson comes out to join in.

Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson/Bobby Roode vs. Ethan Carter III/Eric Young/Tyrus

Joined in progress after a break with Carter in trouble. Roode catapults Carter into a forearm from Aries for two before it’s off to Anderson to stay on the arm. Off to Tyrus vs. Roode with the big man suplexing Bobby down. Off to Carter to choke on the ropes before putting on a chinlock. Young can’t get the piledriver as Roode counters with a backdrop and makes the hot tag to Aries.

Everything breaks down with Tyrus nailing Aries with a clothesline but Anderson takes out the big man. Aries forearms Carter to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Young posts Anderson. Back in and Roode spinebusters Young down, setting up the 450 but Aries only hits mat. He also bangs up his knee, allowing Young to slap on a Figure Four for the submission at 7:26.

Rating: C-. This match was a good example of a lot of TNA’s problems in a single match: too many people involved in a story and stuff happening WAY too fast. Set this up for next week’s main event instead of just throwing everything together at once. I like the idea of everyone wanting the belt as it’s what wrestling is built on, but let things breathe a bit and build the anticipation.

Here’s Bram to call Magnus a coward over and over. Magnus has been sending his old lady out here to fight his battles, but it makes sense as she’s more of a man than he’ll ever be. A mention of Magnus’ son is enough to bring Magnus himself out to say this is about to become more than anyone can handle. Bram promises to make Mickie cry, but she says they’ll be tears of joy when Bram is beaten all around the Impact Zone.

That’s what Bram wanted to hear, because he thinks Mickie will have to go back to an empty house. Don’t worry though because his door is always open. It’s on now but a low blow puts Magnus down. Bram grabs Mickie and tries to make her kiss his boot before just trying to kiss her instead.

Magnus gets back up and suplexes him down before beating Bram with that wrench Bram carries. They go to leave but Mickie has to get in some shots of her own. This is still an awesome story and the promos are on fire. It also helps that it’s something relatable. Instead of a cult leader messing with a psychedelic daredevil, it’s a man defending his family.

Angle says he beat Lashley once but beating him again will be tough. He won’t be intimidated though.

James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Inside the cage with weapons and Storm blasts him with a trashcan before the bell. Hardy quickly fights back and sends him into some buckles. Poetry in Motion with a chair connects once but misses the second time to give Storm control again. Back with Matthews telling us which guy is which and recapping the events that set this up in about ten seconds. I miss basic announcing like that and it’s so refreshing to hear it again. Storm tells the fans to shut up and gets taken down by a running clothesline. The Swanton hits knees though and the Eye of the Storm gets two.

Closing Time into a Backstabber sets up the Last Call but Storm wants the cowbell. Hardy takes it away and hits Storm with it, setting up the Swanton for two. Back up and Storm goes up top so Jeff grabs the top of the cage for some dropkicks into a hurricanrana for another near fall. They’re just going spot to spot at this point. Some trashcan lid shots to the head and a cowbell shot look to set up the Swanton but Jeff monkey bars across the top into a swinging Vader Bomb (minus the pumping) for the pin at 14:55.

Rating: C+. Fun match but there are some issues here, starting with the weapons. A single moment a few weeks ago really doesn’t warrant a gimmick cage match in the first match back for Jeff. Where is this feud supposed to go? That’s one of TNA’s long running issues: knowing how to end a feud. This is probably going to continue for weeks after the big match happened early on. Still though, it was a fun match, assuming you can ignore the parts that didn’t need to be there.

After a preview for next week, we get a nice In Memory Of graphic for Perro Aguayo Jr. WWE didn’t do that.

Overall Rating: C. This show was a great example of one of TNA’s major problems flaring up again: they don’t know how to calm down and let things breathe. Look at earlier: we have three stables, a gimmick cage match, a falls count anywhere match next week, and a World Title match next week. That kind of stuff should fill up six weeks, not two shows. Let the show take its time instead of firing off everything at once and see how much better the builds are. It’s a good show this week with Magnus and Bram as the highlights, but these shows wear me out more often than not and that’s more like Raw than anything else.

Results

Rockstar Spud b. Low Ki – Small package

Awesome Kong b. Brooke – Implant Buster

Eric Young/Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson – Figure four to Aries

Jeff Hardy b. James Storm – Swinging splash from the roof of the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Jokers Wild III
Date: March 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

This is the old standard for TNA as this series has somehow reached a third year. Thanks a lot TNA for screwing up your pay per views so I have to sit through even more of these things. It’s another show with a series of qualifying matches for a big gauntlet match for money at the end. Maybe Matthews can save the commentary here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard preview of the show that we’ve come to know and….I can’t imagine anyone looks forward to these things.

JB and Christy are drawing all of the names before each match. I won’t be mentioning any of these unless something of note happens. All matches are qualifying matches for the gauntlet match main event.

Robbie E./Jesse Godderz vs. Mr. Anderson/Al Snow

Hopefully this is the only required “random” pairing of a regular team. Anderson does Snow’s entrance: “WHAT IS EVERYONE INTERESTED IN??? WHAT DOES MR. ANDERSON REQUIRE???” Robbie pauses for a picture after the bell and says he wants Snow. The fans agree and we get Al vs. Robbie…..for five seconds until Robbie tags out. We’re still waiting on any significant contact until Snow slams Jesse a few times.

Off to Robbie who is terrified of Head. Snow takes him down into something like a Regal Stretch (arm trap STF) and pulls on his nipple. Anderson comes back in to crank on the arm (ignoring the nipple. So much for psychology) before it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the double team. It’s already SO much easier here with the announcers focusing on the match instead of talking about anything else.

Snow takes Robbie over to the corner and Jesse, ever the schnook, grabs his partner’s arm by mistake and works it over. The non-Bros (sisters?) steal the selfie stick to show Jesse what he did and tensions are teased. Instead we get a double noggin knocker so Anderson and Snow can stand tall. Back in and Robbie interferes, allowing Jesse to nail a dropkick before E. comes in to stomp on the arm for two. The hot tag brings in Snow and everything breaks down. Anderson sneaks Head in to Snow so he can knock Jesse silly, only to get rolled up by Robbie for a surprise pin.

Rating: D+. This was a decent enough match but hokey smoke does the commentary make it easier to sit through. I used to dread these shows because of how horrible Tenay and Taz were but again, Josh Matthews is his average self and it’s more than a huge improvement. The BroMans winning makes sense here and the less I have to watch Mr. Anderson be his run of the mill standard, the better I am.

The BroMans say they’re winning the $100,000 and spending it in one night.

DJZ/Samuel Shaw vs. Rockstar Spud/Awesome Kong

This could be a trainwreck. Thankfully this was taped less than a month before it aired so a lot of this is up to date, but unfortunately some is also ahead of schedule. For instance, Spud is bald here, a week before the hair vs. hair match took place. TNA goes Back to the Future? Spud is very, very happy with his partner. Spud and DJZ get things going and I really want to see DJZ hit on Kong.

They start with a basic cruiserweight style sequence until Spud dances in front of Kong. She tags herself in and actually gets caught in a headlock from DJZ, only to pull him down by the mohawk. Shaw comes in with a creepy mustache but Spud tags himself in to say that Kong is a lady. He stops Shaw from slapping her in the face and hammers away with some Popeye wind-up punches.

Spud gets double teamed in the corner as, get this, the announcers TALK ABOUT UPCOMING SHOWS TO MAKE US WANT TO SEE THEM. Not football, not references 8% of the audience will get, and not inside jokes. They actually do their jobs for a change and it’s just a step beneath glory. Kong gets the hot tag and cleans house with a crotch claw to Samuel and a chokeslam to DJZ, setting up the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant shoulders splash for the pin on DJZ.

Rating: D+. Again this was fine and a big shorter than the first match. It’s still not a good match or anything like that, but Spud is almost always a highlight of these things, even when he has nothing to work with like he did here. Is Shaw even with the company anymore? I don’t remember the last time he was on Impact and I can’t say I’m complaining. The guy is just one idea that has been played to death.

Spud is terrified of Kong so she kisses him. He seems to like it and faints.

Ethan Carter III says luck is power. Luck is having stroke. Luck is having your aunt own the company. Last year he won the competition and burned the money at Burning Man because he’s awesome like that.

Davey Richards/Eddie Edwards vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

If this isn’t the longest tag match of the night, it’s a crying shame. Josh gets his facts wrong by saying Aries has the record for most X-Division Title reigns with six (Sabin had eight). Aries and Roode both try to go to the apron and then both start try to get in. I saw them team live once and they had the most entertaining match of the night.

We finally get down to Richards vs. Aries with Austin taking him down by the wrist. A series of tags leads to top rope elbows to the arm as the announcers talk about where the Wolves came up with their name. Apparently it has to do with teaming together in Wolverhampton, England. This leads to a quick discussion about JB being in that city before and it’s right back to talking about the match. Why does Taz have a job again?

The Wolves double team Aries in the corner and drop elbows on his back, only to have their double dive broken up by a double clothesline. We settle down to Roode dropping a knee on Richards for two. Aries slaps on the Last Chancery and the fans get behind the Wolves. That lasts all of three seconds before it’s back to Roode for a hard clothesline. Davey fights back out of the corner but the double teaming brings him back down.

The match gets a bit boring, so the announcers make predictions for the gauntlet. I love this new team. Aries and Roode keep tagging in and out for chops and punches in the corner. Davey finally comes back with the eternally stupid “make your opponent DDT his partner” spot and the hot tag brings in Eddie. Everything breaks down and Davey has to save his partner from a double suplex, setting up the German suplex into a jackknife cover for two on Roode.

Aries makes the save and sends Davey to the floor before hitting the running dropkick in the corner to Edwards. The Wolves headbutt out of stereo superplex attempts but miss stereo double stomps. The Roode Bomb and brainbuster are escaped as well, setting up stereo rollups for the pin. Eh I prefer monaural but this was good enough.

Rating: B. I think we can pencil this in for match of the night. Yeah it makes it very clear that the drawings are rigged, but this was so much easier to sit through than another comedy match with WACKY partners. There are better matches out there, but this is a classic by One Night Only standards. Good stuff.

Spud, with lipstick on his face, is with Kong and asks about room rates at Motel 6. Kong puts her arm around his shoulders. Spud: “Sup baby?” This cracked me up.

Ethan Carter III is chosen for the next match but has to say all the jokers here are in the audience. He has a pretty good feeling that he might be paired with Tyrus. “Christy, I’ll tumble for you if you tumble for me first.”

Ethan Carter III/Crazzy Steve vs. Tyrus/Knux

Well what are the odds of that? I’m getting a bit tired of thinking something like that over and over. Steve has a pair of Carter’s trunks on because he’s a painted up thief. He redeems himself a bit by doing Ethan’s pose. JB thinks Tyrus is going to lay down for his boss, which isn’t something an announcer just flat out suggests most of the time. Knux’s beard is now curled to either side like pigtails.

Steve and Tyrus get things going but Carter tags himself in to tell the big man to lay down. Tyrus won’t do it though as he could win $100,000….and it’s one finger to the chest for two as Knux makes the save. Steve comes back in to grab a rollup as this slow motion continues.

Knux picks Steve up and walks him around the ring, accidentally kicking Tyrus in the face. We get the Bushwhackers march until Steve rolls Knux up for two. It’s back to Tyrus (I don’t remember a tag in the last two minutes) who misses a splash in the corner, leaving Knux to punch Carter. A dropkick and cross body put Carter down but Tyrus nails Knux from behind to give Carter the pin.

Rating: D. I really don’t care for this kind of match and unfortunately this show feels like it was made by Vince Russo to get all these wacky finishes into three hours. It doesn’t help that they’re just throwing these matches out there and not even trying to hide that the draw is rigged. I’d love to see an actual random draw, just for the fun of it.

James Storm says tonight is a game of chances so even the Revolution aren’t friends and allies tonight.

Eric Young/Bram vs. Magnus/Tommy Dreamer

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I’ve sat through every show in this series and I get ERIC YOUNG AND TOMMY FREAKING DREAMER IN THE SAME MATCH??? My early guess: this match is going to suck. Magnus doesn’t even wait on his partner to get here (can you blame him?) and the fight is on in the aisle.

Now the double brawl is on in the aisle with Dreamer and Young going at it. It’s like my greatest nightmare come to life. Some people are scared of death. Some are scared of their loved ones getting hurt. I’m scared of Eric Young vs. Tommy Dreamer. Thankfully they switch off and start fighting in the ring for the opening bell with Magnus working on the arm…..and of course tagging out to increase the suck.

Bram comes in and gets caught in a spinebuster before Dreamer does a People’s Elbow. Seriously. If Tommy Dreamer is the People’s Champion, I’m defecting to the leeches and rodents. Eric breaks it up and Bram (in his violent pink trunks) hammers away on the floor before putting on a chinlock. Dreamer won’t let Young cover him so the heels tag behind the referee’s back to trade places. At least they were polite enough to make a tag.

Young hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about what the earlier winners do before they head to the gauntlet. This might be stupid, but it’s better than most of the nonsense I usually have to hear. Dreamer finally hooks an atomic drop and the hot tag brings in Magnus to clean house. Suddenly the match is so much less aneurysm inducing. Young gets thrown to the floor and Dreamer puts on a rooster hat. Well of course he does. Idiot. A fat splash gets two on Bram but Young kicks Tommy low to set up Brighter Side of Suffering from Bram for the pin.

Rating: D. Even though Eric Young sucks and I wouldn’t mind seeing him sacrificed to a pagan crocodile god, he’s much more in his element here with a brawling style and a match that means nothing. I get far more annoyed with him when he’s in the main event and World Title pictures, so throwing him in something like this is more acceptable. Dreamer needs to be thrown into the center of the sun. Maybe his tears about ECW dying can cool things down.

The Wolves enjoy being challenged and Eddie thinks the win was a good sign. That’s some serious insight.

James Storm/Gunner vs. Kenny King/Chris Melendez

Can we get a second match with no screwy booking? It can’t be that hard. Storm and King get things going before it’s quickly off to Gunner, who doesn’t seem to care for Kenny’s antics. They trade leapfrogs until King drop toeholds him down, only to run to the floor from an angry Gunner.

Melendez comes in to face Gunner and they’re nice enough to shake hands. Chris wants Storm but James bails to the floor as the fans tell him he has Herpes. Gunner finally tags out by slapping James in the face. Storm easily takes Melendez down and puts on a Figure Four to really hammer in the evil. If nothing else it proves which leg that hold hurts.

That goes nowhere so Storm and King mock saluting each other, drawing in Gunner to clean house. James tags himself back in but gets cut by some Melendez clotheslines. A tornado DDT gets two on Storm and everything breaks down. Matthews calls King an (uncensored) SOB for a cheap shot to Melendez. Storm sidesteps a horrible spear from Gunner which hits Melendez, giving James the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but for the love of all things good and holy come up with a new way of booking these things. You can almost guarantee that you’ll have a team who has been together before or a team that is currently feuding, but in this case they doubled up on the lame booking.

Young says he and Bram love having extra opportunities to hurt people. Why not go jump on a pile of chainsaws to hurt yourself then?

Tigre Uno/Manik vs. Sonjay Dutt/Gail Kim

Well that’s certainly different. Feeling out process to start with Sonjay and Tigre trading dropkicks but Manik tags himself in. Sonjay cranks on a wristlock until Manik does a way too complicated flipping escape. Gail comes in and slaps Manik in the mask, only to get shoved down. She avoids a springboard missile dropkick though and does a springboard wristdrag with a headscissors to Tigre as a bonus. Back up and Manik throws her down by the hair but Gail puts on something like AJ’s Black Widow.

Everything breaks down and Manik cleans house to a polite smattering of applause. Manik rolls some suplexes on Sonjay as Matthews talks about being a potential X-Division talent back in the day. I think I’ve heard that before and it’s not the most thrilling idea for the division. Sonjay fights out of a chinlock and sends Manik into the buckle as the announcers discuss Grado. I still don’t get it. Kim comes back in and takes Tigre down with a headscissors, followed by Eat Defeat to both guys. Sonjay adds a top rope splash for the pin on Uno.

Rating: D+. Total spot fest here with no flow, direction or anything unique other than Gail being involved. I like it better than just having your standard match and Kim is more than good enough to hang in there with some guys, but the match was just a bunch of spots by guys that don’t seems like they know how to structure a match.

Lashley/Khoya vs. Abyss/Great Sanada

Well that’s one way to push Lashley. This is the last qualifying match. Lashley and Sanada get things started by trading wristlocks until Lashley plants him with a slam. Khoya won’t tag in though so it’s Lashley vs. Abyss. That’s fine with Lashley as he runs Abyss over as well before hitting a nice suplex for no cover.

Khoya drops to the floor to avoid another tag so Lashley hits a delayed suplex for two on Sanada. Abyss comes back in as the announcers talk about Gail Kim’s love of shoes. We get some stable miscommunication as Abyss hits Khoya by mistake and start slugging it out with Khoya getting the better of it. Both guys grab the other by the throat but Storm tells Khoya to come outside and then go to the back.

So it’s a handicap match now with Abyss splashing Lashley in the corner, followed by Sanada choking with some tape. That doesn’t knock Lashley out because this is wrestling, so Bobby gets up and starts cleaning house with clotheslines. Abyss’ chokeslam is no sold and Lashley spears both guys down for the pin.

Rating: D+. That was different and a good way to get Lashley over, but it’s still not a good match for the most part. On the other hand, the Revolution SUCKS. There are far too many people in it and I have no idea what the point of the team even is at anymore. This was another lame match but that’s almost required at this point.

Gauntlet Match

Basically a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals. Awesome Kong in at #1 and Gail Kim in at #2 for another SHOCKING twist. Gail hammers away in the corner but Kong tosses her down with ease. Some right hands drop Gail again and Kong stands on her hair. Jesse Godderz is in at #3 and offers to let the girls keep fighting. Gail forearms him in the jaw and dropkicks him in the corner, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. That earns Godderz a right hand to the ribs but AMAZINGLY, Robbie E. is in at #4.

Kong fights them both off again and no sells Robbie’s chops. The BroMans stand on her hands but Kong goes beast mode to shove them off as Rockstar Spud is in at #5. He cleans house with dropkicks and checks on Kong, who splashes the BroMans in the corner. Spud has to hang on to avoid an elimination but gets thrown to the floor through the ropes. That’s perfect timing as Ethan Carter III is in at #6 and the fight is on in the aisle.

They get back in and Carter sidesteps a charging Spud, sending him into Kong instead. The distraught Spud is eliminated and it’s the BroMans, Carter and Kong. All three guys team up to fail at eliminating her so here’s Gunner at #7. The BroMans double team him down as Kong misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor for an elimination. Eddie Edwards is in at #8 but the heels triple team him as well. There’s nothing to talk about in this match and Davey Richards is in at #9.

The Wolves start cleaning house with their wide variety of kicks. Carter gets splashed by all three good guys and gets thrown over, only to land on the steps for a save. James Storm is in at #10 to give us Storm, Gunner, Richards, Edwards, Robbie E., Godderz and Carter. Storm is fine with waiting at ringside as Carter begs him for help. That story lasts all of ten seconds before Storm gets in and adds to the incredible levels of dullness in this match.

Sonjay Dutt is in at #11 and is quickly Last Called and dumped. That’s probably good as he might have sped things up and gotten them interesting. Gunner gets a Last Call for an elimination as well. Crazzy Steve, still in Carter’s trunks, is in at #12 and tries to dump Carter until Storm makes the save. Eddie pulls Storm’s shirt over his face and chops away as Khoya is in at #13. We’ve got Khoya, Storm, Richards, Edwards, Carter, Steve, Robbie E. and Godderz at the moment.

Steve bites Carters fingers to send him to the steps again but Carter has some Kofi in him and makes a save. Bram is in at #14 and takes his time to stay away from the ring. That goes nowhere so Lashley is in at #15 to eliminate both BroMans and Khoya in short order. Storm chokes Lashley in the corner to slow him down and Eric Young is in at #16. No wonder this match sucks. Eric Young is the grand finale. The final group is Young, Steve, Lashley, Carter, Storm, Edwards, Richards and Bram.

Young piledrives Steve for an easy elimination and the Wolves clothesline Bram to the floor. The Wolves get rid of Storm as well but Young and Gunner dump both of them, leaving us with Lashley, Carter and Young. Bobby clotheslines both of them at once but Carter saves his makeshift partner. A double suplex makes Lashley look strong again but they send him to the apron for more stomping. That goes badly as well as Lashley low bridges Young out, leaving him with Carter. The 1%er is easily countered and Lashley nails a spear for the elimination, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D-. The wrestlers clearly didn’t want to be in there and much like everything else tonight, it went so fast that they didn’t have time to develop anything. This match felt like it went on forever and you knew Lashley was winning (ok maybe Carter could have won it again) pretty much the second his music hit. It’s more boring than bad but that’s not really a big improvement.

Lashley gets the check and a three and a half minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. I had some slightly elevated hopes for the new commentary team, but they couldn’t save this. They’re light years better than Taz and Tenay and made the show a lot easier to sit through, but it doesn’t make what you’re watching really dull. This was two hours of goofy booking instead of just throwing out random pairings and making it a bit more interesting before a REALLY boring main event. It’s a one idea show and that idea is done in about the first half hour. The lack of effort really shows in these things and they lose their charm way too fast, including on this one.

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