Impact Wrestling
Date: February 20, 2015
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

It’s another UK show this week with a double main event. This week we’re seeing Al Snow face British Boot Camp cast off Grado, as well as a twenty man gauntlet match for the #1 contendership to the World Title. As expected, it looked like the Beat Down Clan will be working together to take over the match. Let’s get to it.

The opening sets up the gauntlet and shows us the top 5, which will determine the order of the last five entrants. Angle is #1, despite Roode being #1 last week and winning while Angle lost. Roode isn’t even in the top 5, meaning this whole thing lasted two weeks before it stopped making sense.

Angle comes out and says he’s back to win the World Title.

Lashley wants to talk to Angle.

Matt Hardy/Eddie Edwards/Davey Richards vs. Revolution

It’s Storm/Abyss/Manik here and the brawl starts in the aisle. Manik gets triple teamed in the corner to start and we even get something like Poetry in Motion. Khoya pulls Matt to the floor and Storm sends him into the steps to take over. It’s off to Abyss for a running corner splash, which is as athletic as I’ve seen him in years. Storm comes in with a Hardy pose on the middle rope but Matt grabs a Side Effect on Manik. They’re going with the fast forward version of the standard formula here and it’s not bad so far.

Storm can’t break up a tag to both Wolves at the same time and it’s time for the kicks. Everything breaks down and Richards backflips into an attempt at Shock Treatment but Edwards makes a save and sends Storm into a DDT from Abyss. I still hate that spot. The Wolves hit stereo dives to take out most of the Revolution. Manik is left alone for a top rope double stomp from Edwards for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. This is becoming TNA’s standard operating procedure in recent weeks: basic, well done matches that don’t go too far and just get the job done that they’re supposed to accomplish. That’s a VERY nice change of pace over what we usually get in TNA and even though I don’t believe they can keep it up, it’s a nice start.

The winners get destroyed post match and Abyss Black Hole Slams Manik. Storm orders Abyss to carry Manik out.

Here are Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to rant about Mr. Anderson stop the hair cut party last week. Ethan even jumps up and down in anger for a funny moment. Cue Anderson to ask a very sweaty Carter why he’s obsessed with cutting hair. Maybe Carter should get his head shaved and Anderson has his own clippers. Anderson comes to the ring but Tyrus gets right in his face. The distraction allows Spud and Mandrews to sneak up on Carter and the beating is on. Tyrus saves his boss from a haircut but Anderson plants him with a Mic Check and tape him to the ropes, allowing Spud to shave Tyrus’ hair. Spud says Carter is next.

MVP and the Beat Down Clan are going to be standing tall at the end of the night.

Mickie James comes into the arena and is here for some important business involving Magnus. I’m glad Josh mentioned that Mickie and Magnus are married, as it was coming off like something TNA just expected us to know. That’s not something you should ever do as you don’t want any potentially new fans to be confused.

Al Snow vs. Grado

We get a few more details on Grado, who missed a meeting on British Boot Camp and was eliminated, only to come back and get eliminated again. It would be nice if TNA actually SHOWED us this stuff instead of just telling us but at least it’s something. Snow destroys him to start and hits the Snow Plow for two, followed by a moonsault for the same. Grado is really over with the fans here and you can see that cult following showing through. Grado avoids a second moonsault and hits a boot to face, followed by a Cannonball in the corner and another big boot for the pin at 4:33. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. The match was nothing but it gave the fans a feel good moment. I still have no reason to care about Grado due to living in America and not being able to watch British Boot Camp, but this was much more for the fans than nothing else. I’m not sure how much Grado can get over outside of Scotland but that natural charisma will get him a long way. Granted I would have said the same thing about Joey Ryan the first time they did this story.

Snow shakes Grado’s hand as he promised to do if he lost but the BDC runs in for the attack. Drew Galloway (McIntyre) runs in with a pipe for the save and shows about 100x more energy and fire than he has in the last three years plus. He’s a good hire if he’s around for more than just this tour.

Angelina Love and the BroMans are their usual selves but Kong is shown watching with her usual scowl.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Taryn Terrell

Love is challenging and jumps Taryn to start, knocking her out to the floor. A fall away slam gets two but Angelina takes too much time going up and gets slammed down. Taryn gets two of her own off a middle rope clothesline but walks into the Botox Injection. Love takes too much time going after her though and eats a Taryn Cutter for the pin at 2:37.

Kong comes out and Implant Busts Taryn but Gail Kim comes out for the staredown.

We get Royal Rumble style interviews on who is going to win the gauntlet.

Robbie is ready to win the Grand Slam.

Ethan Carter can beat twenty men in his sleep.

MVP has been fighting all his life (but is he trouble trouble trouble trouble trouble?) so this is nothing.

Low Ki says the BDC runs this place.

Samoa Joe says 20 men will enter and a Clan will leave victorious.

Here’s Tommy Dreamer for a chat. Dreamer says he’s here to fight because Young dropped him on his head last week. No Young though, so Dreamer goes to the back and gets jumped. They fight back into the arena and Tommy wants a referee out here for an old school fight.

Eric Young vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer spits a fan’s beer into Young’s face but gets crotched on the barricade. Young apparently may be insane and violent but he’s not a thief. He also bites Dreamer’s forehead and draws some VERY solid blood before Tommy gets out a table and we get the opening bell. They head inside but Tommy is able to backdrop out of a piledriver attempt.

The DDT onto the chair is countered with a leg sweep but Eric takes too long setting up a table. Dreamer superplexes himself through the table with Young barely grazing it. A chair is wedged into the corner but Dreamer pops back up. Eric low blows him to take over, sends him into the chair and plants him with a good looking piledriver for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D. Two of my least favorite wrestlers in the world right now in a needless gimmick match which didn’t even get five minutes. That bite was SICK though and the piledriver looked really good too so I can give it a pass, but my goodness I never want to see these two on TV ever again. Well maybe Young if he drops way down the card but Dreamer is as welcome as something very unwelcome at a place you wouldn’t want that something to be at.

We recap Magnus vs. Bram, which is due to Magnus taking a Feast or Fired briefcase from Bram.

Here’s Mickie James to talk about her fiance’s feud with Bram. She’s had a great year, including having a beautiful son and getting engaged (fans: “BOO!” Also Josh was wrong when he said they were married. Don’t get into Tenay territory Matthews), but she’s here to call Bram nothing but a coward. Cue Bram with a cueball but Mickie immediately rips into him for all the things Magnus has done for him over the years. Magnus was beaten up so badly that he can’t even hold his own son.

Bram starts talking but it’s so quiet that I can’t understand him over the WE WANT MAGNUS chants. The chants aren’t even that loud but the microphone is so quiet. Bram says Magnus could have any girl in the world but he’s stuck with her. Mickie is a needy redneck who ruined his life. That’s why Bram battered him, but Mickie says it’s because he knows he’s only half the man Magnus is. Bram gets all ticked off so Mickie slaps him in the face. Referees come out to hold Bram back and he leaves peacefully. This is already about a million times better than any Magnus story.

Lashley and Angle are in the back (with HARDCORE COUNTRY playing) and Lashley reminds him that he’s the champ. Angle says Lashley is next, so Lashley will be watching tonight.

Gauntlet Match

Basically a twenty man Royal Rumble for a title shot next week. Kenny King is in at #1 and Austin Aries is in at #2 with King sending Austin to the apron, only to have Aries run back in and hit the Pendulum Elbow. King hammers him back down though and Craazy Steve is in at #3. Steve and Aries team up but the clock gets a lot faster and it’s Jesse Godderz in at #4. Jesse goes right after Steve but has to skin the cat to avoid an elimination.

Bram is in at #5 and people start pairing off for fights in the corners. The clock gets even faster as Khoya is already in at #6. Steve rakes Khoya in the eyes but is easily backdropped to the floor for an elimination. Chris Melendez (where has he been?) is in at #7 and goes after Bram until Mr. Anderson is in at #8. Anderson is back in trunks and hammers away until we take a break.

Back with Tyrus entering at an unlisted number. During the break, Samuel Shaw, DJZ and Great Sanada all entered, putting Tyrus as #12. Also during the break, Melendez was the only man eliminated. Everyone’s attempts to get at Tyrus result in Godderz, DJZ and Shaw being eliminated. Spud is in at #13 and goes after Tyrus, only to get sent to the apron and spiked out to the floor. Robbie E. is in at #14 as Tyrus puts out Khoya.

Sanada mists Tyrus from the apron but Anderson knocks Sanada to the floor and sends Tyrus to apron as well. Tyrus hangs on and tries to skin the cat but Anderson bites his hand for the elimination. Gunner is in at #15 and goes right after Bram. We have Gunner, Bram, Anderson, Robbie E., King and Aries in there at the moment. Ethan Carter III is in at #16 as Robbie is dumped out.

There go Bram and EC3 as Samoa Joe is in at #17. That goes nowhere so here’s Low Ki at #18. It’s already announced that MVP and Angle are the final two, meaning Roode isn’t in it due to the attack by Young last week. We’re running out of time so MVP is quickly in at #19. Joe throws out Anderson and it’s all four members of the BDC, Aries and Gunner at the moment. The BDC dumps Gunner and it’s Angle in at #20 for a final grouping of Aries, MVP, Low Ki, Joe, King and Angle as we take a break.

Back with Aries being eliminated to get us down to five. Lashley comes out to watch as the Clan takes their time beating Angle down. Kurt gets in something like a hot shot on Low Ki but Joe Rock Bottoms him out of the corner to stop Kurt cold. Kurt low bridges Joe to the floor and the odds are a bit better.

Low Ki gets backdropped to the floor and it’s down to three. King gets the same treatment, leaving us with Angle vs. MVP. Kurt is still in trouble though as he gets caught with the Ballin Elbow but MVP can’t get him out. A baseball slide misses though and the Black Out does the same, only to have King trips Angle, allowing MVP to kick him out for the win at 32:25.

Rating: C. Keeping this fast was a good idea as it became a pretty boring battle royal once the BDC was in full control. MVP winning makes the most sense as you have to give him a title shot at some point. Angle can have his shot later but the BDC is the big thing right now and giving its leader the win was the right call.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling here wasn’t the best but that’s not the point of this show. Tonight was a good example of logically moving stories forward and not doing anything incredibly stupid (save for putting Tommy Dreamer on TV in 2015 but that’s a different story entirely). This is a MAJOR step forward for TNA as their product is getting better, even though their business is pretty horrid at the moment. At the end of the day though, getting some positive word of mouth is the best thing they can have right now and shows like this will get them a long way in doing so.

Results

Matt Hardy/Wolves b. Revolution – Top rope double stomp to Manik

Grado b. Al Snow – Al Snow – Big boot

Taryn Terrell b. Angelina Love – Taryn Cutter

Eric Young b. Tommy Dreamer – Piledriver

MVP won a gauntlet match last eliminating Kurt Angle

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Rivals
Date: February 6, 2015
Location: Royal Palace Theater, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina
Attendance: 400
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

For the love of all things good and holy don’t tell me that these shows are going to become even more frequent now. These things continue to be some of the least interesting shows produced, but the worst part is they’re just kind of there. Some of the matches are watchable, but they’re clearly just there to fill in requirements based on the lack of effort in setting up the shows. Let’s get to it.

I think the theme here is obvious.

Standard music video opening showing us some of the stuff we’ll be seeing tonight.

JB is walking down the ramp towards the ring to fire up the crowd. If there’s a more under appreciated guy in TNA, I don’t know who it is.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, which is built up over some of their legitimately great showdowns on PPV over the years.

The lights are very low again to make sure you can’t see how small the crowd is.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Both seem to be faces here. Tenay suggests that they focus on the rivalries instead of anything else, which I give about five minutes. Taryn takes her down with a hammerlock but gets caught in a headlock for a counter. The announcers are already onto medical info they’ve found online which has nothing to do with anything going on at the moment. They actually got to about two minutes of staying focused before flying off the cliff.

Taryn gets two off a running flip neckbreaker and the same off a snap suplex. A high cross body misses though as Taz calls Terrell one hot possum. Gail gets in some kicks to the ribs and Taryn is bleeding from the mouth. Off to the knee as Tenay mentions being in dental school at one point. A Brock Lock has Terrell in trouble as the commentary goes from phones to Rollie Fingers (baseball player).

Taryn finally kicks Gail out to the floor and throws her off the stage into the dozens of people in the crowd. She hits a cross body to take Gail down again but bangs up the knee even worse. Taz thinks they’re in Roanoke, Virginia as Taryn gets two off a middle rope clothesline. Off to a dragon sleeper, drawing out a bunch of Japanese wrestling references. Yeah I talk about the commentary on these shows a lot, but there isn’t much to talk about with the wrestling or stories so what else am I supposed to cover?

Gail wraps the bad knee around the post for a four count from the referee but she walks into an RKO for two with the knee slowing up the cover. Kim rolls through a high cross body for two and blocks another RKO, setting up Eat Defeat for a close two. Taryn avoids a missile dropkick and another RKO is good for the pin at 12:33. Taz: “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” It’s not the biggest upset in the world. Taz on the blood in Taryn’s mouth: “Go see Isaac Yankem.”

Rating: B-. These two always have good matches together and this was one of the better matches I’ve seen on this series. The knee work could have played into the finish more but at least it played a factor at all. At least Taryn won, but unfortunately it led to even more of Taz’s annoying commentary. That’s the running problem with most of these shows as they go from boring to insufferable almost every time.

We recap Gunner pinning Mr. Anderson to win a future World Title shot last year with an unintentional assist from James Storm. That led to a really lame feud which gets to continue here tonight.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm

Taz: “Everybody likes bullropes!” In a funny bit, there’s no mic to drop from the ceiling so JB sneaks up behind Anderson and puts a mic in his hand. “If it works it works right?” We’re finally ready to go after some cowboy stalling. By ready to go I mean ready to circle each other for a good bit until Anderson runs him over with a shoulder. Storm comes back with some right hands and chokes on the ropes, only to be sent out to the floor for more stalling.

Now James starts going after the leg because why not do the exact same thing that was done in the previous match? A chop block has Anderson in even more trouble and it’s time to talk about football. Storm mixes it up with an armbar but goes right back to the leg. Now they talk about Ed Sabol, who passed away the week after this show first aired. What it has to do with this match is beyond me but Anderson starts fighting back with right hands to FINALLY bring the commentary back to the match.

Storm misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Cue Sanada for a distraction so Storm get hit a middle rope DDT (cool move actually) for two. Sanada gets a bit more direct by kicking Anderson in the head, setting up the Lat Call for the pin at 8:27.

Rating: D+. I know he’s trying but Anderson’s matches just don’t do it for me. They can be decent if he has the time to get them there, but a basic match like this has never been his strong game. I’ll try to hold back on the commentary rants, but they were worse here than I’ve heard them in a long time. I mean they might have talked about the match for maybe three minutes of about eight and a half. That’s pitiful.

Eric Young says he and Abyss used to be best friends and now they’re going to have a Monster’s Ball match. Well of course they are. Abyss brought out the monster in Young and it brought him the World Title, so tonight Abyss is getting his best.

Kenny King vs. DJZ vs. Great Sanada vs. Samoa Joe

Elimination rules. All three try to jump Joe on the floor to start but he turns around to only see DJZ. Joe eventually kicks DJZ down before staying on the floor with him, leaving Sanada and King to fight inside. King scores with a dropkick as Joe can be seen destroying DJZ. They switch spots but King stops Joe from nailing DJZ, earning him a right hand of his own.

Kenny loads up a suicide dive but runs into King’s boot. Sanada goes after Joe for what could be an interesting match as Taz still can’t remember where they are. Oh yeah we’ve got a running gag. Back in and a triple boot puts Joe down and DJZ adds a Lionsault. A springboard spinning legdrop gets two for King and three straight elbows in the corner have Joe reeling.

The commentary kind of stays on the match by comparing Joe to Andre the Giant in battle royals, bringing them to a discussion of Haystacks Calhoun. Joe starts fighting back and catches DJZ in a Muscle Buster for an elimination. Another double team doesn’t work that well as Joe punches both guys away but walks into a springboard Blockbuster from King for two.

Sanada goes after King but gets caught in the Clutch to get us down to Joe vs. King. King immediately goes up for the missile dropkick but Joe just walks away. I still love that spot. The release Rock Bottom out of the corner looks to set up the Muscle Buster but Sanada mists Joe (with the referee CLEARLY LOOKING AT IT) to give King the pin.

Rating: C. Eh not terrible and I liked the idea of throwing the win to King instead of just having Joe run through everyone in his sight. That being said, HOW DID THE REFEREE NOT DQ KING FOR THE MIST??? Even Taz, the barren wasteland of intelligence on commentary, saw what happened and wanted to know how the referee couldn’t call anything. Stuff like that drives me crazy, especially after a quick enough and decent match.

Roode says he and MVP have hated each other since MVP sat foot in this company because they both want the World Title. Tonight MVP learns why it pays to be Roode.

Recap of Bram vs. Abyss in their hardcore series.

Bram vs. Gunner

When were these two rivals? From what I can find they only had a single match at No Surrender last year which was more about Samuel Shaw and Gunner. Bram bails from Gunner to start before running into a shoulder block for two. A headlock of all things slows Gunner down as the announcers talk about where they’re going for a post show party.

Tenay even brings up the Aces and 8’s but Taz laughs it off. Bram sends him into the buckle for the expected results as they’re still on this after party while throwing in a discussion of Bobo the cameraman. They head outside for a bit with Bram pulling him into the post to take over for the first time.

We hit the chinlock on Gunner until he fights up and rams Bram into the corner as the talk is back to football. They slug it out from their knees until Bram has to escape an F5 attempt. A Rock Bottom works a bit better for Gunner and the fans chant USA. Gunner gets crotched on the top rope but tries a sunset bomb, only to have Bram sit on top of him for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: D+. This would have been so much better if they had let them brawl. Gunner can get in a fight when he needs to and this would have been the perfect option. However, why let a new hardcore guy like Bram showcase himself when you can have Abyss do it again after all those years of doing the exact same thing?

We look back at EC3 injuring Angle’s knee and still being undefeated.

Here are Carter and Spud to say Ethan can’t face his rivals because he’s beaten them all. He goes over the list of everyone he’s beaten and sent away, meaning he’s the greatest wrestler in the world. This brings out Austin Aries, who doesn’t like the sound of that moniker. Carter can’t call himself that until he faces Austin Aries in this ring because he brings greatness out of people. “Let’s start a rivalry right now.”

Ethan Carter III vs. Austin Aries

Aries goes right for the brainbuster but settles for an armdrag and the Last Chancery. Carter bails to the floor and takes a big dive as it’s all Aries early on. He makes the mistake of chasing Spud though and gets caught by a big clothesline to give Carter his first offense. Back in and my goodness the crowd being blacked out is distracting. It’s like they’re wrestling in an elementary school gym with a big black curtain behind the three rows of fans.

Aries is rammed face first into the mat for two and we hit the chinlock. Spud gets in a few cheap shots when Aries is sent to the floor again but Carter follows him out and eats some chops to the chest. Now we’re talking about wrestlers’ real names and football careers. Back in for all of ten seconds before Carter dumps him again. Spud has to adjust the ring skirt so you can’t see the wood underneath the ring.

We hit another chinlock on Austin before he avoids being sent all the way to the floor. Carter gets sent into alternating buckles about ten times in a row but is able to come back with a powerbomb for two. The 1%er is countered but Aries can’t hit the running corner dropkick. Instead he snaps Carter’s neck across the rope and hits the missile dropkick. The brainbuster is loaded up but Spud pulls the foot and plays Bobby Heenan at Wrestlemania V to give Carter the pin at 8:30.

Rating: D. WAY too much stalling in this one as they had to go outside or to the chinlock almost every other minute. I don’t think anyone thought Carter was going to lose here but that doesn’t mean they can’t give the fans something to get excited about anyway. Spud and Carter were such a great pairing and they’re still entertaining now that they’re feuding.

Spud takes a brainbuster post match.

Abyss says Eric Young is his rival. Joseph Park brought out the best in him and then Young won the World Title. Tonight is just a regular match so Abyss can’t hurt him too bad, but it’s still going to hurt.

Video on Abyss embracing his dark side. The Joseph Park stuff feels like an eternity ago.

Eric Young vs. Abyss

Before the match Abyss grabs the mic and just make it a Monster’s Ball match already. Abyss says it’s been a long time and this show is about rivals. He can’t help but think about the time when they were friends. Eric and Joseph Park brought out the best in each other and Young wound up winning the World Title. However, Abyss is Young’s fault and Eric is lucky that this isn’t a hardcore match. Young is tired of being blamed for Abyss’ mess, so let’s get nuts and make this Monster’s Ball. I’m stunned.

Young fires off right hands to start and scores with his spinning forearm to the head. Abyss gets tired of getting punched in the face and throws Eric to the floor before getting some toys. Back to the football stuff with Taz acknowledging that they’re talking about it a lot tonight. Young finds a hockey stick and throws more weapons into the ring but runs into an elbow to the jaw.

It’s already table time as Taz finally remembers the Oakland Raiders line about cheating being encouraged. The table is set at ringside for later as Young is sent hard into the corner. Abyss cracks him in the head with a trashcan lid for a loud smack but the follow up trashcan shot doesn’t sound as good. The fans want tacks but get a chair to Young’s ribs instead. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Abyss crotches himself on a chair. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by what they’re seeing here. Tenay asks if there’s such a thing as Yambag Scrabble to make my headache even worse.

Young scores with a missile dropkick for two and starts swinging the kendo stick. Somehow this turns into a discussion of Paul Bunyan chopping down trees with jujitsu. Taz: “With the edge of his hand!” Abyss throws Young through the table at ringside but only gets two back inside. It’s Janice time but Young crotches him with a cheese grater. The top rope elbow is good for the pin at 10:54.

Rating: C-. Another “well, that happened” match as we’ve seen these two have weapons matches so many times that it’s really hard to get excited about it again. The fact that this was just a by the numbers Monster’s Ball match doesn’t help either, but that’s the case for almost every special match in this series.

Long recap of Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love, dating back to the original Beautiful People days. If nothing else we get to look at Lacey Von Erich again.

Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

Madison cranks on the arm to start and mocks Angelina’s entrance, earning her a forearm to the head. Back in and a quick rollup gets two for Madison, followed by the scissors stomp. Angelina doesn’t appreciate that and takes it outside to send Rayne into the barricade. A big forearm gets another two for Angelina as this is really dull so far. She follows up with a basement dropkick and a second dropkick to send Madison back to the floor.

Back in and Tenay and Taz babble on about whatever their latest stupid topic is. Madison makes her comeback with a forearm and an enziguri, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Rayne Drop is countered into Lights Out (downward spiral) for a near fall. Another Rayne Drop is countered and Love grabs a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:59.

Rating: F+. The only good thing here is how well they look in their outfits. Other than that, this was one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in recent memory. It was clear that neither of them was interested in doing anything outside of just the basics and that’s not a good thing after a show this dull so far.

MVP says Bobby Roode is rewriting history because he wasn’t scared to fight Bobby for the title. The rivalry is because MVP is one of the best of all time and Roode just thinks he is. If Roode wants to test himself against the best then MVP is fine with beating the heck out of him tonight.

We recap Lashley beating Eric Young to win the World Title and hurting his arm until Bobby Roode made the save. This led to MVP being fired as the boss and Kurt Angle taking the job.

And now, just so they don’t have to do even more new stuff, here’s Roode vs. Lashley for the World Title from Impact on October 24, 2014.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode

They have a ton of time for this, Lashley is defending and Kurt Angle is guest referee. MVP and King are nowhere in sight. Lashley powers Bobby into the corner to start and easily takes him down with an amateur move. A hard shoulder to the ribs has Roode in even more trouble but Bobby comes back with a clothesline and tells Lashley to bring it on. The champ is all fired up but his clothesline is countered into the Crossface, sending Lashley out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Lashley holding a reverse wasitlock until Bobby fights up with forearms. A quick Blockbuster gets two but Roode charges into a spinning spinebuster. Lashley ducks another shot but clotheslines Angle (first time he’s meant anything in the match) by mistake. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley nails the spear with no one to count the pin. Another spear hits Angle to knock him to the floor, allowing Roode to enziguri Lashley to the floor.

Bobby follows and avoids a spear, sending a ring attendant flying. A Roode Bomb on the ramp puts both guys down but there’s still no Angle to count anything. Instead Brian Hebner comes in to count the near fall and Bobby is frustrated. Lashley hits Roode low and gets the belt but Hebner says no.

That earns him a knockout clothesline, allowing Lashley to hit Roode with the belt. Angle comes in to count two and is finally back to his feet. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Roode falls on top for the pin and the title at 17:49.

Rating: B. The match got going near the middle but I really don’t see why Angle needed to be out there. Any regular referee could have played his role to the same degree but maybe they’re setting up Lashley vs. Angle down the line? The important part though is Roode being made into a bigger deal than he was before, but now he needs to have a very solid title reign to make it even better. TNA is really needing a top face and if Roode is that guy then so be it.

Bobby Roode vs. MVP

The announcers of course discuss sushi. Roode charges the ring and hammers away before sending MVP into the buckle. Another clothesline sends MVP bailing to the floor but he comes back with a kick to the face. Roode gets punched on the floor as we hear about Masahiro Chono influencing MVP’s offense. Back in and MVP misses a running boot in the corner but Kenny King comes in for the DQ at 2:28.

Eric Young runs out for the save and let’s have a tag match, because WE NEED MORE ERIC YOUNG!

Eric Young/Bobby Roode vs. MVP/Kenny King

Young and King get started with Kenny slugging him down in the corner. Eric comes back with a wristlock and makes the tag to Roode for a double hiptoss. Off to MVP for some shots to Bobby’s ribs and forearms to the head. For some reason this warrants a talk about the original Sheik as Roode scores with a suplex for two. Bobby follows it up by falling out to the floor and getting stomped by King. MVP covers with one finger for two because he’s a cocky heel that knows how to annoy a crowd.

We hit the chinlock on Roode and somehow find more football stuff to talk about. Roode fights up with a sunset flip and the referee has to slow down because MVP misses his save. A good looking spin kick to the head drops Roode and MVP cancels the Ballin Elbow and just covers for two. Back up and the spinebuster plants King and it’s the hot tag to Roode. Eric cleans house and the fans just do not care for the most part. A belly to belly gets two on King but Kenny comes back with a kind of reverse AA to plant Eric. MVP is “injured” but of course is playing possum, setting up the Black Out kick for the pin on Eric at 8:03.

Rating: C-. Who in the world thought we needed to see Eric Young twice in one night? Thankfully it was Roode in there most of the time to keep things from getting horrible, but this really wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. I like that they mixed it up a bit as you can only see so many singles matches in a row, but this really didn’t do it for me. Then again that might be all about Eric Young.

Magnus talks about beating Jeff Hardy to win the World Title for the first time at Final Resolution to win the World Title. Who thought that Jeff Hardy could lose a ladder match? Edge and Christian perhaps? Tonight he gets to face Hardy one more time and he’ll enjoy getting to see the teenage girls weeping. It’s the same story it always is between these two.

We recap the tournament for the World Title with Magnus eventually beating Jeff in a Dixieland match for the title.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus

Jeff goes into the crowd with his home state fans before the match. We even get big match intros to kill even more time. Magnus shoves him down to start and tells the painted one to bring it. Hardy’s arm work doesn’t get him anywhere so Magnus stomps him down in the corner. A clothesline sends Magnus to the floor and Jeff follows him out with a nice dive. Back in and the mule kick gets two and Jeff calls for the creatures. A slingshot is countered with a European uppercut and Hardy falls back out to the floor.

Back in and Magnus gets too cocky and earns a right hand to the face. They head right back outside with Hardy getting rammed into the barricade and ripping down the ring skirt in the process. The announcers debate bad commentators named Mike over the years as Magnus powerbombs Jeff down. Time for some chinlockery until Jeff jawbreaks his way to freedom. He can’t follow up though and gets caught in an abdominal stretch.

Jeff ducks another clothesline and starts his comeback with the legdrop between the legs. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for two followed by the Twisting Stunner. The Twist of Fate gets two but Magnus counters into something like the ProtoBomb for two of his own. Magnus tries a Twist of Fate of his own but Hardy grabs the real thing again, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C. That was indeed a wrestling match. I really don’t know what else I’m supposed to say here. You had a face vs. a heel and the face won with his finishing combination. Magnus isn’t bad but he really needs a character of some sort, which he seems to be getting with Bram. Hardy winning was obvious here and it capped off a thoroughly dull show.

Overall Rating: D-. These shows are really just boring house shows with HORRIBLE commentary. That doesn’t make me want to stick around as these things are becoming more of a chore to sit through every month. When they can’t even keep the concept going (“LET’S START A RIVALRY RIGHT HERE!”) for three hours without using a TV match that has aired on almost every special they air, it’s time for them to retool these things or stop advertising them before they become even more of an embarrassment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 6, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

As is going to be the case all year it seems, pay per view is no longer an option (save for One Night Only because who can forge that series) so for the first time ever, Lockdown is being offered as a free TV broadcast. The main event is Team Angle vs. the BDC with Angle’s team being down a man as Lashley turned down his offer to join. Let’s get to it.

The opening video starts off by focusing on the cage itself before shifting to Roode vs. Young and the Lethal Lockdown main event.

All matches are inside a cage.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. James Storm/Abyss

Storm and Abyss are defending and it’s tornado rules. Matthews says he and Taz are ringside and then they’re shown in their studio in Nashville. So Matthews is a liar. Good to know. The Hardys start fast with Poetry in Motion to both guys but they have to stop to deal with the interfering Manik. They just happen to have a pair of handcuffs to tie him to the top rope but the distraction lets the champs take over. Matt and Jeff are sent into the cage over and over with Matt getting the worse of it as we take a break.

Back with Storm hitting a top rope elbow for two on Matt as frustration is starting to set in for the champions. The Hardys quickly fight back for a double two count but Matt misses a moonsault to Storm. Matt doesn’t seem to mind as he hits a top rope Twist of Fate to drop Storm. Khoya ignores the cage as well and pulls Matt through the camera hole to the floor, which doesn’t count as a win because it wasn’t over the top. Back inside, Jeff hits a Twist on Abyss but Sanada Mists him to break up the Swanton. Storm’s Last Call retains the titles at 13:36.

Rating: C. This was more of a spot fest than a coherent match but that’s what you have to expect for a tornado style match. It’s not that easy to get much of a story going without the need for tags and all those other people interfering in the match. Still though, it had enough big spots to open a show and it’s always good to see the Revolution get a win.

Post match the Revolution puts Matt through a table outside and sets up another in the ring. They unhook Mania, though where they got the key isn’t really clear. Manik misses a top rope splash through the table and Jeff fights off most of the Revolution and climbs up, only to get crotched on the cage door and knocked off onto the steps. This is Jeff’s annual “I can’t go to England” injury angle.

MVP has a special offer for Angle tonight. After a break, MVP, King and Young are in the ring with MVP talking about how dangerous this cage really is. They’re ready to face anyone who stands in their way tonight and Young promises to make Roode bleed tonight. Bobby is offered a chance to walk away but MVP switches to Angle. He wants Kurt to come out here and talk to him face to face for a proposal.

Cue Angle, Gunner and Aries as MVP talks about how all three can walk out of here (they just walked in here though) without getting beaten up again. MVP has talked to Angle’s doctor and that knee is being held together by tape and gum. Has this doctor never heard of privacy laws??? Angle and company say they’re not walking away and the brawl is on. Joe and Low Ki come out to give the BDC an advantage and they crush Gunner’s arm in the cage door. The Clan runs away instead of taking advantage of their numbers advantage.

Video on Havok and Kong dominating the company. I still don’t buy Havok as anywhere near Kong’s level after winning like five matches.

Gunner is checked on in the back but he insists he’s starting the match tonight.

Havok vs. Awesome Kong

They start fighting on the ramp with Kong getting the better of it but being sent into the steps. The bell rings before they’re even in the cage with Kong down on the floor. Kong fights out of the spinebuster slam and sends Havok into the steps for her efforts. The fans think this is better than the Divas, which really isn’t covering a lot of ground.

They finally get inside (the girls, not the fans, in case you’re really thick in the head) and ram heads before Havok kicks her down. It just seems to fire Kong up though and she no sells a chokeslam for good measure. A chokeslam puts Havok down and sets up the Awesome Splash for the pin at 5:48.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting, even though the ending was exactly what I expected. There was no reason to think Havok could go toe to toe with Kong, especially given how short Havok’s run in TNA has been. She debuted what, four months ago, which includes the month they were off TV? Kong looked dominant though and that’s the right idea.

Video on Roode vs. Young. They have to have someone bleed in this.

From two weeks ago, Velvet told Angelina that she was fired and starts crying. Love hugs her and smiles at the news.

Lashley is told Angle is looking for him and the champ says he isn’t hard to find.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Pin or submission only. Roode runs him over to start but eats an elbow to the jaw. The fans already want blood as Eric sends Roode back first into the cage a few times. A belly to belly sets up a chinlock on Roode before a powerslam gets two. Cue MVP with a chair but Roode ducks a big swing. The piledriver is countered into a catapult to send Young into the cage and you can see Eric blade. I really shouldn’t like seeing him in pain this much.

The spinebuster gets two for Bobby and he puts Young on top. A super Roode Bomb is countered with a cage shot and Young’s top rope elbow gets two. Young loads up another elbow onto the chair but Roode gets up and blasts him in the back. The Roode Bomb onto a chair is good for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: D. Well that happened and I still don’t care. At the end of the day, Eric Young isn’t interesting, intimidating, tough, worthy of being in a major story or anything positive that I can think of. This “12 years thrown away” story made my head hurt as these two barely associated for years and the whole “Roode owns Young and makes his life miserable” period is conveniently forgotten. Just get Young back to the comedy jobber guy he’s been for years so I don’t have to put up with this any longer.

Lashley turns Angle down again so Kurt throws him against the wall and tells him to wake up.

The announcers debate the upcoming Top 5.

Mandrews/Rockstar Spud vs. Tyrus

Tyrus easily shrugs off a double teaming to start and shoves both guys into corners. A double Tongan Death Grip has them in trouble but they come back with a double dropkick to the face and then more to the chest. An enziguri is good for one but Spud escapes a powerbomb and climbs all the way to the top of the cage. With a middle finger to Carter, Spud hits a HUGE flip dive to take Tyrus down and Ethan is stunned.

Carter gets up and spits at Mandrews, tricking him into coming out of the cage. Carter trips him up on the way out, sending Mandrews’ head into the steps to make this one on one. Spud is distracted from covering and gets the cage door slammed on his head, setting up a Tongan slam and Asiatic Spike to the neck for the pin on Spud at 5:44.

Rating: C. That big flip and Carter’s facials make this match work better, even though Mandrews really didn’t need to be in the match. I’m digging this feud way more than I was expecting to and I’m actually believing Spud could pull off the upset and beat Carter, even though that wouldn’t make a ton of sense.

Carter goes to shave Spud’s head but JB unplugs his clippers.

We look at Hardy being hurt “moments ago” and say there’s no update.

Roode talks about the fifteen years he’s known Eric and says he made Young bleed, just like he promised. They were best friends but now it’s all gone and it’s time to move on.

Earlier tonight, Robbie E. challenged Brooke to a competition to determine who lost the Amazing Race. They had a dizzy bat challenge before climbing the cage and getting back out with the winner crossing a finish line. Robbie almost won but spent too much time taking a picture, allowing Brooke to hit him low and win. This was heavily clipped instead of showing the full thing.

Team Angle vs. Beat Down Clan

Kurt Angle, Gunner, Austin Aries, ???

MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe, Low Ki

Lethal Lockdown, meaning two men start for two minutes and then a team (determined by a coin toss) gets to send in its second man. After two minutes the team that lost the coin toss gets to send in its second man to tie things up for two minutes. The teams continue to alternate until all participants are in when it’s first pinfall or submission wins. There are weapons provided inside the cage for the duration of the match this year, as opposed to them not coming down until the last man enters in previous editions.

King and Gunner get things going with Kenny going after the injured arm. Gunner whips him into the cage and blasts him in the back of the head with a trashcan lid to keep King in trouble. He chokes King with a nightstick but Low Ki comes in to make it 2-1. They’re already going quickly through this match.A big trashcan lid shot to Gunner’s head gives the BDC control and King holds him for kicks to the chest. The beating continues until Austin Aries comes in for the tie. Austin immediately starts speeding things up and blasts King in the ribs with the nightstick.

Gunner opts for a tennis racket (cue the Jim Cornette reference from Taz) but it’s Samoa Joe to give the BDC another advantage. More weapons shots have Team Angle in trouble as this is getting very repetitive, just like almost all Lethal Lockdown matches. Angle ties it up again and takes a hockey stick to his ribs upon entry. Kurt doesn’t seem to mind and German suplexes Joe before rolling Kenny up out of instinct. Team Angle gets beaten down with more weapons shots until MVP completes the BDC.

Pins and submissions are allowed now as all the announced wrestlers are in. Back from a break with the BDC destroying everyone in sight with quadruple teaming. Angle finally gets back up and blasts them with the trashcan lid. The comeback is short lived though as the BDC destroys them again….and here’s Lashley. This would be more exciting if TNA hadn’t shown him appearing four times now in their previews for next week.

He extends his hand to MVP but doesn’t let go, pulling the leader into a clothesline. Lashley cleans house but gets taken down into the corner and choked out by MVP. Angle counters Joe’s Muscle Buster into the ankle lock as Gunner Gun Racks King and Aries puts Ki in the Last Chancery. Lashley spears MVP down for the pin at 20:23.

Rating: C+. Bobby Lashley is exactly what Roman Reigns should be. He’s big, he’s strong, he runs through people, and he barely ever speaks because his actions do all his talking for him. I’ve had a lot of fun watching Lashley break people in half over the last few months and he’s far more entertaining than Reigns more often than not. Put Reigns on a roll like this and build it as a clash of the titans against Lesnar and I’d want to see it. Some guys just don’t need to have a really detailed character and both Lashley and Reigns fit that mold.

The rest of the match was just there and followed the format of almost every single Lethal Lockdown match in history, minus the big spot on top. You knew it wasn’t going to really crank up until the end of the match which makes the first seventeen minutes or so pretty dull stuff. I can only see a trashcan lid to the back of the head to change momentum so many times.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a decent enough show but as usual, most of these matches don’t need to be inside a cage. This is very similar to the Elimination Chamber or Hell in a Cell PPV: the calendar alone said these matches had to be in cages and there really wasn’t a reason for a lot of them to be under these rules. Look at Kong vs. Havok and see that the cage didn’t change a thing. The Hardy bump could have been done off the top rope for the same ending and Spud could have hit the same move off the top rope. Only the main event required a cage and it didn’t really change much. Decent show but not necessary.

Results

James Storm/Abyss b. Hardys – Last Call to Jeff

Awesome Kong b. Havok – Awesome Splash

Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb onto a chair

Tyrus b. Mandrews/Rockstar Spud – Asiatic Spike to Spud

Team Angle b. Beat Down Clan – Spear to MVP

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 30, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

The World Title picture is starting to pick up again as Bobby Roode, Kurt Angle, Austin Aries and MVP all have their eyes on Lashley’s title. It’s hard to say what’s coming up next week at Lockdown as nothing has been announced yet. You can guess what some of those matches will be but the main event hasn’t been set in stone so far. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at MVP taking Lashley’s title belt after a brawl.

Here’s Bobby Roode with Lashley’s title, which he picked up on the street after chasing off the BDC, to open the show. Roode talks about how he wishes this title belonged to him but it doesn’t right now. It was stolen from him a few weeks ago and he’s going to get his hands on Eric Young to pay him back for what he did.

As for the title, the only two people with a claim to it are he and Lashley, so here’s the real champ to get his belt back. Roode says this title belongs to Lashley but he wants a rematch tonight. Lashley agrees and starts to walk away but Roode asks why wait. This brings out Austin Aries with his Feast or Fired briefcase. Do you remember wrestling before briefcases? I miss those days. The fans are pleased to see him (Aries: “You know my name!”) and he thinks he should cash in his briefcase here in New York City.

He isn’t sure if he should do it now or wait until later on after these two have fought. This brings out MVP who says he’s disappointed in Lashley for saying the title is his. That title belongs the BDC and MVP wants to fight Lashley for the title right now. Lashley tells Aries to hold onto the briefcase for now, because he’ll fight all three of them for the title tonight. This would be yet another major match announced with next to no build that could have been the culmination of about five weeks instead of fifteen minutes.

A voiceover announces Team Angle vs. Team BDC next week in Lethal Lockdown. The clips show who will be in the match. Well that’s one way to set up one of the biggest matches of the year.

Angle says he’ll assemble his team tonight and know who is fighting in Lethal Lockdown next week. And it might be surprising if you tuned back in from commercial thirty seconds late.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

One fall to a finish and Taryn is defending. We get some stills of Will Ferrell hitting her in the face with a basketball in a scene from Ferrell’s new movie. It’s a fast start with Taryn going for a fast pin before hair dragging Gail down. She misses a charge into the corner and gets hit with a running cross body to the ribs as Madison is on the floor. Madison comes back in and gets suplexed for two but elbows Taryn in the jaw for the same.

Gail runs back in and gets caught in a neckbreaker (called a Diamond Cutter by Josh) from Madison at the same time Rayne catches Taryn in a DDT. Kim takes Madison down in something like Konnan’s Tequila Sunrise but she pulls forward on the leg instead of backwards like a half crab. That’s quite a different version and looked good at the same time.

The champ breaks it up by adding a dragon sleeper to Kim and all three head to the floor. Madison flapjacks Terrell onto the steps and sends both girls face first onto them for good measure. They head back inside with Madison escaping Eat Defeat and avoiding a cross body, only to walk into an RKO to retain Taryn’s title at 6:00.

Rating: B-. This was far better than I was expecting as they didn’t stop for a second in the whole match. Making Taryn the fighting champion who goes up against anyone she can is a good way to get her over and the fans seem to be responding to her. They still need some fresh blood in the division and Kong would be a good option.

Announced for Lockdown next week: Havok vs. Awesome Kong and Abyss/James Storm vs. the Hardys for the Tag Team Titles.

Magnus is walking the street and says he and Bram are going to have a drink and talk about their problems.

Rockstar Spud is showing Mark Andrews around New York City but doesn’t quite know the names of some landmarks (the Empire State Building is the Washington Monument for example). The point is they’re challenging Tyrus and Ethan Carter III for a tag match tonight.

Here’s Tommy Dreamer to say he hasn’t lied to the fans in 25 years and he isn’t going to tonight. He calls out Eric Young to say something to his face. Oh good grief seriously? These two together is what I get for watching these guys for years??? Young says this isn’t Dreamer’s business but Dreamer talks about his history with Roode and Young in TNA. Tommy has watched him go from a nothing joke to the World Champion.

He tells Young not to turn his back and burn bridges with Roode or the fans. Eric: “You’re a fat loser from this dump.” He wants to blow the bridge up so Tommy takes his jacket off. Tommy says this is all about a title shot, but did Young ever ask Roode for a shot? That earns Dreamer a piledriver but Roode comes out for the save.

The Hardys are ready for their title shot next week but Jeff has a Monster’s Ball match with Abyss first. He’s brought some friends named kendo, cookie and barbed wire.

Magnus goes into a bar and finds Bram.

Kurt Angle goes into Gunner’s locker room and asks him to be in Lethal Lockdown next week. Gunner isn’t sure so Angle slaps him in the face.

Magnus and Bram are in the bar where Bram says that briefcase was his. Magnus points out that he won a Tag Team Title shot and who else is going to be his partner? It’s Bram’s temper that has held him back over the years and he’s gotten Bram a job here. They’re not 18 years old anymore and they can’t just get in fights when they don’t get their way. This is about Magnus’ family and putting a roof over his son’s head and food on his table.

Bram asks to see a picture of Magnus’ son and says he has Magnus’ eyes. They toast to their future and leave. Bram shows Magnus the way out and says he’ll handle the bill. Magnus realizes he’s in a dead end and Bram jumps him from behind, ramming Magnus into a few doors and punching him in the back of the head. This actually worked really well.

Josh and Taz discuss what Bram just did.

Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball and they’re shown fighting in the back before coming into the arena for the opening bell. Jeff is in control early and rams Abyss into whatever he can as they get down to ringside. He takes too long to set up a table though and gets kicked away, allowing Abyss to start loading up weapons in the ring. That takes too long as well though and Jeff hits a running forearm and basement dropkick for two.

The Twisting Stunner sends Abyss into the corner for Poetry in Motion (chair instead of Matt), knocking the monster out to the floor. Jeff tries a dive but crashes through the table to change momentum. Abyss brings in the tacks but takes a cheese grater between the legs. He’s still able to sidestep a charging Jeff though and sends him face first into the chair wedged in the corner. That was one heck of a crash. Is it any wonder Jeff is such a mess? It’s Janice time but as always it gets stuck in the buckle, allowing Jeff to hit the Twist of Fate but the Revolution comes in.

Cue Matt Hardy to cane everyone he can but Storm cracks him with a trashcan. The Last Call knocks Matt out but the Wolves come in for another save. Double suicide dives take out the rest of the Revolution but Abyss pours out the tacks. He takes too long with it again though and Jeff sunset bombs him onto the tacks, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C-. You know, if I remember right, these two had the exact same match with the exact same ending whenever they last did this match. I’m completely over Monster’s Ball as it’s nothing interesting anymore and is just the same weapons spots with the same guy (as Josh said, Abyss has been in 95% of the Monster’s Ball matches. Even if that’s not true, it certainly seems like it). It was passable, but by this point there’s nothing interesting in these things.

Storm is mad at Abyss for losing. I really hope they’re not teasing a split already.

Matt says he’ll always have his brother’s back.

We recap the fourway being set up.

Aries appreciates Lashley being a fighting champion and implies he’s cashing in if he loses.

Rockstar Spud/Mandrews vs. Ethan Carter III/Tyrus

Yes his name is Mandrews because there are no British wrestlers who aren’t skinny guys with bleached blond hair. Carter comes out and says the request for this match is denied. However, they have a replacement.

Rockstar Spud/Mandrews vs. BroMans

Yes his name is still Mandrews because wrestling names make my soul hurt. The BroMans jump Andrews to start and plant him face first, drawing in Spud so the BroMans can hit a double knee to the head. Robbie charges into a boot in the corner and the hot tag brings in Spud for some kicks to the leg and punches to the jaw. A double crotch claw has the BroMans in trouble and he takes off the bowtie, setting up a Dudley Dog on Robbie and a Shooting Star from Andrews is good for the pin at 2:39.

Robbie jumps Spud post match and sets up Andrews/Spud vs. Tyrus in a cage next week.

After a break Spud goes on a rampage about how he’s going to get Ethan because he isn’t a loser.

The announcers preview Lockdown.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode vs. MVP

Lashley is defending and this is one fall to a finish. MVP bails to the floor but Roode and Aries force him back inside. He realizes what that means and tries to fight Lashley, only to get punched by all three guys. Everyone pairs off with Lashley stomping Roode in the corner but Roode comes back with a Blockbuster. He gets to his feet and eats Aries’ missile dropkick but Roode sends Austin to the floor. MVP goes after Roode’s knee but charges into a spinebuster to leave Roode as the only man standing as we take a break.

Back with Lashley powerslamming Roode for two with Aries making another save. Lashley powers out of a brainbuster attempt but gets low bridged out to the floor, setting up Aries’ suicide dive. MVP hits his running boot to Roode’s jaw, followed by an exploder suplex for two. Here’s a sign of things changing in TNA: Taz started stumbling over all the three letter names involved in the match (it happens), made a quick joke about it, and got right back to commentary. If this was still he and Tenay, they would still be making fun of it ten minutes later.

The Ballin Elbow gets two on Roode but Lashley comes back in with a Dominator to MVP, sending him to the floor. Aries nails a top rope ax handle to deck MVP again before Roode puts MVP in the Crossface. This time it’s the champ making the save and a Tower of Doom sends everyone not named MVP down. Cue Eric Young with a chair to Roode, leaving Aries to counter the spear into the Last Chancery. MVP breaks it up but gets sent to the floor with a discus forearm. Aries loads up a dive but gets speared in half to retain Lashley’s title at 13:11.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but I would have liked to see it go on longer. Lashley retaining here is a good sign as they’re clearly going with Lashley vs. the BDC for the next few weeks if not months and that should have some interesting stories. I’m still not as high on MVP as a lot of people are but he did fine here. As usual, Aries stole the show.

The BDC and Young (again, why is he not a member?) comes in post match but Angle and Gunner make the save.

After a break, everyone is still at ringside. Roode challenges Young to a cage match next week and the challenge is accepted because Roode wants to make him bleed. Aries comes in with his briefcase and says he should be on Team Angle next week. Angle accepts and now it’s Lashley’s turn. Kurt asks him to join the team so he doesn’t have to deal with MVP for the rest of his career. Lashley turns him down and walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked the show this week, even though they had to fly through everything to set up Lockdown in a hurry. The wrestling, when it actually happened, was good for the most part and they kept things moving fast. This was about setting up stuff for the future and they accomplished that quite well, with some decent wrestling to go with it. Solid show this week and their best since they’ve been on Destination America.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim and Madison Rayne – RKO to Rayne

Jeff Hardy b. Abyss – Swanton Bomb

Rockstar Spud/Mandrews b. BroMans

Lashley b. Bobby Roode, Austin Aries and MVP – Spear to Aries

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 23, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Tazz, Josh Matthews

The big story tonight is Feast or Fired, TNA’s big Money in the Bank style match with three potential title shots up for grabs, plus a lone pink slip. This is usually a huge mess but the fallout can change a lot of things going forward. The other situation is the Beat Down Clan walking off with Lashley’s World Title. Let’s get to it.

Feast or Fired

Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards, Samuel Shaw, Magnus, Bram, Rockstar Spud, Austin Aries, Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, DJZ, Gunner, Crazzy Steve

It’s a ladder match with briefcases hanging over every corner. Only four people win and everyone else walks away with nothing, which isn’t the worst outcome. The lights are very low again, likely covering up the low attendance. Again, this is in New York City. There really shouldn’t be an excuse to not draw a thousand people to a wrestling show, assuming the tickets aren’t outrageous.

The match is a huge brawl to start and Steve goes for an early briefcase, only to have Velvet Sky offer a distraction to break it up. She winds up going up and getting a case for Robbie, meaning he gets to leave early. Steve chases Robbie and the Beautiful People off to clear out the ring a bit. Spud goes up but isn’t tall enough to grab the case. Everyone but Shaw and Spud fight to the floor but Gunner pops back in to crotch Shaw. Aries dropkicks Gunner in the back of the head, only to be sent to the floor by Spud. Using Gunner as a platform, Spud climbs up and pulls down a case.

Robbie E. knocks Aries down again but stops to get a kiss from Angelina, allowing the Wolves to kick him down. The Wolves load up a dive but stop due to an Angelina distraction. Aries has the ring to himself and takes down the third briefcase, THEN hits the dive to take everyone out. Bram and Gunner get back in for a brawl on the pole but it’s Magnus powerbombing both guys down, leaving Magnus to take down the last case at 7:41. Bram isn’t pleased with Magnus taking the case.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry for all the play by play in this but there’s almost nothing else to do in one of these things. It’s almost all about the aftermath and if you’re lucky enough to get something fun in the middle like Spud climbing up onto Shaw’s back then so be it. There just wasn’t much to see here but there rarely is in Feast or Fired.

Lashley is coming to the ring.

Magnus says the pressure is on with the case when Bram comes up and says that was his. Magnus isn’t impressed and says calm down because he got Bram his job here. Security has to break them up. You knew this split was coming eventually and it makes perfect sense.

We look back at the BDC beating Lashley down and leaving with the title last week.

A bandaged Lashley calls out the Beat Down Clan to bring him his title. He gets Kenny King minus the belt, who says Lashley is too ungrateful to make it in the BDC. Lashley couldn’t beat Roode without the BDC, where everyone is a potential World Champion. Without blinking, Lashley still wants his title. King says get a referee out here but doesn’t want to wrestle in front of a bunch of people who won’t appreciate him. Cue the BDC to surround the ring for the match.

Kenny King vs. Lashley

Non-title and Lashley is wrestling in an American Top Team (his MMA team) shirt. King hammers away in the corner to start but Lashley throws him down with a delayed vertical suplex and takes off the shirt. Kenny misses a springboard and gets speared down, drawing in the BDC for the DQ at 2:37.

MVP says if Lashley wants his title, come get it in the streets.

Havok vs. Gail Kim

Gail jumps her in the aisle to start and hits a nice cross body off the apron. They head inside for the bell with Havok taking her down in the corner and driving forearms in the corner. Some kicks don’t get Kim anywhere and a bearhug spinebuster gets two for Havok. A hard running knee to the face knocks Gail silly and she’s holding her eye. The announcers say this is a message to Awesome Kong, which would be better than Havok’s current resume. The referee calls Havok off but gets shoved down, drawing the DQ at 4:06. Total destruction otherwise.

Rating: C-. Well they accomplished the goal of making Havok look like a monster, but I’m still not interested in seeing her vs. Kong. At the end of the day, Havok has only been around a few months and probably lost almost as many matches as she has won. It just doesn’t add up to the year plus of dominance for Kong.

Post match Havok grabs Kim by the throat but here’s Kong for the showdown. Havok’s forearm has no effect and Kong clotheslines her to the floor.

We recap Ethan Carter III challenging Jeremy Borash to fight him last week.

Tigre Uno vs. Khoya

This is Khoya’s debut as part of the Revolution. Tigre kicks at the legs to start, drawing Storm up to the apron to slap him in the face. It fires Khoya up to hit a bad looking fall away slam, followed by a Sky High for the pin at 1:04.

Storm says he’ll be facing Matt Hardy tonight and he’s stronger than any demon Jeff has ever faced. He’s stronger than any pill Jeff has taken and any bottle he’s ever drank. There’s always room for one more in the Revolution. That’s quite the promo.

Roode comes in to see Angle and says he doesn’t care about their tag match tonight because he wants Eric Young one on one. Angle says Roode has to focus to win the title back, because if he goes in alone, he’s going to lose. I’m having a hard time getting behind the idea of Roode vs. Young again when Young beat him in the big showdown last week. But hey, why build to a match when you can have it with no build, right TNA?

We recap Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode with Josh saying they’ve been best friends for twelve years. That’s some creative history to put it mildly.

Very quick recap of Feast or Fired.

Spud says he used to be a gopher and now he feels like he’s moved forward in his career. Even if he’s fired, he’s going to punch Ethan Carter right in the face, but it’s worth the gamble.

Eric Young/Low Ki vs. Kurt Angle/Bobby Roode

Angle and Low Ki get things going in a match that might never have taken place before. Ki gets taken down to the match and it’s off to Roode vs. Young. Josh tries to figure out the relationship between Young and the BDC, asking the same question I’ve had: if he has the same enemies and associates and teams with the BDC, why don’t they just add him to the team? Low Ki comes back in and hammers away in the corner for two but gets caught in a superplex, allowing for the hot tag to Angle.

Everything breaks down and the Angle Slam plants Low Ki, setting up the ankle lock but Eric makes the save. Roode puts Low Ki in the crossface but Angle brings in a chair. Joe and MVP come out on the stage for a staredown, allowing Roode to break up the hold with another chair, giving Low Ki the pin at 5:11. Our heroes ladies and gentlemen.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere because we have to get 194 other things in on every episode. However, the faces lose again because that’s what happens in TNA. It’s the same story we’ve gone through time after time now, leading up to what is probably going to be a long, drawn out story of the faces being downtrodden until someone rises up to win a single big match, leading to the heel stable implode over several months. How do I know this? Well seeing it a dozen or so times with almost nothing changes gives you a good idea.

MVP is outside the arena on the street, telling Lashley to come and get his title.

We recap Rockstar Spud splitting from Ethan Carter III and Jeremy Borash being dragged into it by saying he supports Spud.

Ethan Carter III vs. Jeremy Borash

Carter introduces himself because he’s fighting the announcer. JB comes out with Spud and shakes hands with Mark Andrews, the winner of British Boot Camp 2. Carter still has the mic in his hand and does commentary for the match. Borash finally shoves him away and takes the mic. The fans like to tell Carter that he can’t wrestle, but he can’t announce either.

Borash actually nails Carter in the jaw and knocks him into the corner, only to get taken down with a tackle. The beating is on but Carter yells at Spud, drawing in both Spud and Tyrus with the big man dropping him with a heart punch. Andrews comes in with a springboard dropkick as the match is thrown out at about 2:00.

A double dropkick puts Tyrus on the floor and Andrews hits a nice shooting star to take everyone out.

Matt Hardy vs. James Storm

Matt hits a quick running clothesline in the corner to start and they’re quickly on the ramp. Hardy stays on offense by sending Storm into the steps over and over, followed by an elbow from the apron to the back. Back in and Storm puts him on the middle rope for a Backstabber (now called the Lung Blower) to take over. A quick Side Effect gets two for Hardy as the darkness over the crowd is even more noticeable than before. The people there are making noise but the visual is horrible. Closing Time sets up the Last Call but Matt ducks and counters the Eye of the Storm into a small package for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: D+. This really didn’t do anything for me and felt like they were just doing moves to each other until one of them won. I’m really not caring to see Hardys vs. Revolution, but then again I’m not wild on Storm as a Tag Team Champion again. At least it’s better than some of the stupid teams they could have had.

Post match Hardy turns down a handshake offer, drawing in Abyss to help Storm hit a Last Call. Abyss gets out Janice but Jeff Hardy makes the save with a chair. Jeff challenges Abyss for Monster’s Ball next week. Again?

A preview for next week shows Lashley with the title in a pretty big spoiler.

Samoa Joe comes up to MVP on the street but MVP says he has this.

It’s time for the reveal of the briefcases. There’s a World, Tag Team and X-Division Title match and a pink slip. Robbie E. has a camera on a stick to record himself and Velvet Sky’s every move. Rockstar Spud goes first and has…..an X-Division Title shot. Magnus’ case contains…..a Tag Team Title shot. So it’s Robbie E. or Austin Aries with the pink slip or World Title shot.

Back from a break with Aries getting in a Stuart Scott reference by saying he feels as cool as the other side of the pillow. Robbie points out that Velvet Sky grabbed the case and has the footage to prove it. In other words, the case belongs to her. As luck would have it, Velvet is the one getting fired, meaning Aries gets the World Title shot. Robbie gets on the table and dances, shouting that he still has a job, leaving Velvet in tears.

Lashley goes outside and beats up MVP on the street. MVP punches him back and they head inside, likely to avoid getting arrested. The rest of the BDC jumps Lashley and beat him back outside until Roode and Angle make the save with a pipe. Roode picks up the belt and stares at it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show goes by so fast that it’s hard to tell if it’s good or not. They keep it moving so fast that it’s almost impossible to remember everything that happens, but as usual they’re flying through almost everything they have in a week or two. It’s not a bad show, but they really need to slow down instead of just burning through everything they have. For instance, Lockdown is in two weeks and while you can see most of the card coming from here, the show hasn’t even been mentioned yet because we have to get everything else in. Decent enough show this week but it’s typical TNA.

Results

Magnus, Rockstar Spud, Austin Aries and Robbie E. won Feast or Fired

Lashley b. Kenny King via DQ when the BDC interfered

Gail Kim b. Havok via DQ when Havok shoved the referee

Khoya b. Tigre Uno – Sky High

Eric Young/Low Ki b. Kurt Angle/Bobby Roode – Ki pinned Roode after a chair shot from Young

Ethan Carter III vs. Jeremy Borash went to a no contest

Matt Hardy b. James Storm – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 16, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

This is the debut on Fridays which will be their regular night. The big story coming out of last week is Lashley taking the World Title back from Bobby Roode and what appeared to be the formation of another heel stable as Eric Young turned on Roode and seemed to join forces with MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe and Low Ki. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s four title matches with Aries and Lashley winning the X-Division and World Titles respectfully.

Josh is in the control room and says we’re going to see this show in a way we’ve never seen before. It’s going to be more interactive and behind the scenes than ever before. Taz thinks the idea sounds cool. The two of them will be in various locations throughout the night.

Roode says nothing is more important than the title and Eric Young cost him the belt last week. He doesn’t know why, but he wants Eric Young one on one tonight. They kept this simple and Roode sold the intensity very well.

Here are MVP, Joe, Low Ki, King and a woman I don’t recognize. Taz and Josh are in a booth and are shown on a split screen. MVP says you can’t keep a good man down and after a quick lane changes, he’s right back in the driver’s seat. He’s always known it was him against the world since the day he started wrestling. He knew he had to surround himself with people he knew, so he went to the family. These men traveled the roads with him 500 miles a day for a hot dog and a handshake. They are known as the Beat Down Clan and they’re “nobody to F….mess with.”

MVP introduces Young but emphasizes that he is not part of the BDC. The fans tell Eric that he sold out, but he’s all serious and says that doesn’t matter. Young, with a haircut, says MVP did something for his family that made Eric change his opinion. Eric had a brother once. He took care of Roode and even gave him one of the first title shots. Where was his title shot when Roode won the belt? Maybe Roode was afraid of losing again, because Young is a world class man and friend. When Young was laid up, he only got a text message from Roode, but MVP called him up and told him the truth.

MVP says he planted a seed in Young and it grew to a sequoia. Now it’s time for the World Champ, but Lashley doesn’t come out to his music. MVP introduces him again but gets Kurt Angle in wrestling gear, sporting a big knee brace. He says Young is going to pay for his sins tonight when Roode gets his hands on him. Angle promises to make every one of them tap. Joe gets out of the ring and gets right in Kurt’s face but gets a punch to the jaw. The entire BDC gets in his face but security breaks it up. Angle wants Joe right now and apparently that’s good enough.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

This is joined in progress after a break with Joe working on the knee and slapping on a leg bar. He switches it up to something like a figure four as we go split screen to see a producer trying to find Lashley but there’s no one in his dressing room. Angle escapes the hold and starts rolling the Germans. Joe shrugs it off and hits the corner enziguri, only to have the Clutch countered into the ankle lock. That’s quickly escaped as well but the Angle Slam (what knee injury?) gets two. There’s the ankle lock again but this time the roll through takes out the referee. A low blow sets up the Clutch and Angle taps at 6:15 shown.

Rating: C-. It really amazes me how fast TNA can go from establishing a new hero (well as new as Angle can be) to having him lose in the middle of the ring. No it wasn’t clean, but couldn’t they have made this wait a bit longer? TNA seems terrified of the idea of building up a hero and this felt like even more of the same for yet another heel stable.

The BDC comes in to beat down Angle but Roode makes the save with a chair.

Back from a break with Roode sitting in the ring in the chair. He says this has already gone too far, which the fans agree with due to their ROODE GOT SCREWED chant. He’s been here a long time and this ring is his home. Roode may live for wrestling, but tonight in New York City, this is about payback. Another short but intense promo from Roode.

Taz and Matthews are in the booth again to talk about Impact: Unlocked tomorrow morning about 10am. This is a behind the scenes look at TNA, including power rankings and special features like this. We see an interview with Magnus, talking about doing this to provide for his family. His son looks up at him and he wants to make him proud. Another clip says he’d be fine with being a free agent in a market like this.

We look at JB getting his hair shaved last week.

Spud apologizes to JB but Borash isn’t really upset. He knows Carter will get what’s coming to him one day.

The Revolution is in a balcony to watch the next match.

Hardys vs. Wolves

Winners get a title shot against the Revolution. Matt and Eddie get things going with the Hardys quickly taking over, allowing for a tag to Jeff (big reaction). A nice headscissors takes Davey down and a double belly to back suplex gets two. The Hardys hit clotheslines from either side but everything breaks down and the Wolves send both Hardys into opposite corners with Matt getting tied in the Tree of Woe.

A drop toehold from Eddie sets up an elbow to the back from Davey for two. Davey fires off the kicks in the corner but misses the top rope stomp, allowing Matt to hit the Side Effect. It’s off to Jeff vs. Eddie as everything breaks down again. The Wolves throw Matt to the floor but he DDTs both guys down. Jeff is next to a different corner so he walks across the top rope (think Old School or Elix Skipper’s cage walk) to get to the other corner and dive on everyone else.

Back in and the Swanton hits Eddie’s knees and ReDRagon’s Chasing the Dragon (with a Falcon’s Arrow instead of a brainbuster) gets two on Jeff. The Hardys make a blind tag and Eddie takes another Side Effect. Jeff gets crotched on top and Eddie hits a Twist of Fate for two but Jeff Swantons in for the save. Poetry in Motion hits Eddie and the Twisting Stunner sets up an elevated Twisting Stunner for the pin at 10:00.

Rating: B. This was really entertaining and good if you don’t mind your tag match having almost no tagging. It got a lot better near the end but I could go for other teams besides the Hardys getting title shots. I can live with it though as long as it doesn’t lead to Jeff vs. Matt again.

Next week is Feast or Fired and Bram says he’s going to feast.

Eric Young is worried about Roode coming for revenge.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus take over the production booth. Carter: “Ground control to major bald please.” They want the cameras on Jeremy Borash and we see his mostly bald head. Carter knows JB thinks he’s Heisenberg and tough now, so how about they have a match next week. JB has thirty minutes to decide.

Lashley has arrived.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

No DQ and it’s a brawl in the aisle to start. Taz sums up the feud in simple terms: “The guy in the green screwed over the guy in the black and the guy in the black is ticked.” Back from a break with the fight in the crowd and a split screen showing Lashley going into his dressing room with no comment. Young takes it back to ringside and stomps on Roode’s head before chopping him against the barricade. Eric Young just looking all stoic doesn’t make me care about him TNA.

More forearms stop Roode’s comeback attempt, because Heaven forbid a good guy gets the crowd going. Two chairs are brought in and Young puts one in the corner. Back in and Roode fires off some right hands before nailing a nice spinebuster. The Roode Bomb onto a chair is countered and Young sends him head first into the corner chair. A piledriver onto the chair is enough to pin Roode at 10:11.

Rating: C. I could barely see a good chunk of the match but more importantly, TNA WILL YOU FREAKING LET A HERO LAST MORE THAN A FEW WEEKS??? Stop turning everything over to the heels over and over and over and over and over. It’s been nearly thirteen years of this same stuff and it’s gotten them onto the same network as Bathroom Kings (yes that’s really a show). Is a hero that doesn’t have to job to Eric Young so much to ask for?

MVP comes out and says maybe someone will visit Roode in the hospital.

Aries says it’s a battle to keep his X-Division Title tonight. If you back him into a corner, he’s going to get really dangerous.

We recap last week’s battle royal with Awesome Kong returning for the showdown with Havok. Again, Havok winning like five matches doesn’t make her Kong’s equal.

Brooke is mad about what Robbie said after how he performed on the Amazing Race.

Brooke Adams/Taryn Terrell vs. Beautiful People

All three BroMans are at ringside. DJZ takes a quick picture and we instantly see it on screen. He’s no Tyler Breeze. Adams hammers away on Angelina to start before taking Velvet down by the arm. Terrell comes in for a suplex and the Beautiful People are “dropkicked” to the outside, setting up Taryn’s bit dive to take out everyone on the floor. Back in and a middle rope clothesline drops Velvet, but Robbie gets on the apron to distract Brooke, letting Velvet grab a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 2:30.

Post match Kong appears to destroys the Beautiful People and DJZ. Havok comes out for the showdown but security breaks it up.

JB turns down Carter’s challenge but Carter says JB is TNA. He should take the challenge because no one respect him. JB snaps and says he’ll fight Ethan next week.

Taz and Josh are going to preview something for next week. I’m not sure about this studio thing as it makes me feel like I’m watching a recap show. It’s not bad but it’s going to take some getting used to.

Manik tells a camera to follow him. They go to see James Storm, who tells Manik to leave them. Storm says it’s time for the world to be introduced to his newest disciple: Koya (formerly Mahabali Shera). Koya means lost in Hindi, but now Koya has been found. Next week, the world will see what he is capable of. The guy looks good if nothing else.

Video on Feast or Fired. It’s something like Money in the Bank with four briefcases, one for a shot at every title (other than the Knockouts) and one with a pink slip.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Austin Aries

The BDC is at ringside. Aries took the title from Low Ki last week. The champ starts fast by backdropping Low Ki over the top but Ki’s feet get caught in the ropes to make the crash even worse. Back in and Aries gets two off the Pendulum Elbow and the Last Chancery sends Ki running for the ropes. Low Ki bails to the floor for a breather and meeting with the BDC. Why not just have them interfere now to give Ki the title? You know it’s coming because they’re a heel stable and therefore they have to win titles.

The advice works as Aries’ suplex is countered with Low Ki dropping him over the ropes. A big chop gets two but also ticks Aries off, causing him to fire off even harder chops of his own. The discus forearm sets up the running corner dropkick, but Ki knees out of the brainbuster. Austin crushes the knee and hooks the Last Chancery, only to have the BDC get on the apron. The referee misses Ki tapping out and the BDC gets on the apron, with MVP crotching Aries. Ki gets up and Ki Crushes his way to the title at 6:48.

Rating: C+. Why would you want to be a face in this company? You might get to hold a title for a few weeks, but at the end of the day, this company is about heels ruling everything around and long stories with them on top instead of letting anyone stand up as a hero. Also, well done on throwing titles around again. That’s always a good idea.

The BDC is still in the ring (of course) and call out Lashley. The champ comes out this time and MVP takes credit for everything Lashley has done. He makes the mistake of saying the title belongs to the BDC but Lashley isn’t cool with that. MVP says Lashley owes the team some thanks but Lashley turns to walk away.

MVP goes to stop him but Lashley tells Hassan (MVP’s real first name) to let him go. That’s ok with MVP, who brings up their time together in WWE. He wants one hug for the road though, which Lashley reluctantly gives. MVP kisses him on the cheek and the beatdown is on. Lashley gets hit in the face with the belt and MVP leaves with the title.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m getting really, really sick of heel stables, especially when you can almost guarantee they’ll be in power by March. This is all TNA does and it’s almost all they’ve done since they debuted. I’m tired of being told to wait and see where it goes, because it ALWAYS GOES THE EXACT SAME WAY.

Look what we had here: one story dominating about 80% of this show, the heels completely dominating the entire show, and most of the heroes getting beaten down. This is after Dixie’s reign of terror, which came after the Aces and 8’s, which came after Immoral. It just never ends and TNA makes it harder and harder to want to stick with them every single week.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Kurt Angle – Koquina Clutch

Hardys b. Wolves – Elevated Twisting Stunner to Edwards

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver onto a chair

Beautiful People b. Brooke Adams/Taryn Terrell – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Low Ki b. Austin Aries – Ki Crusher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 7, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Taz, Josh Mathews

It’s a new era in TNA as they’re off SpikeTV and onto Destination America, meaning they’ll be lucky to have half the audience they had before. However, they seem to actually be trying to have a new beginning, which may help them a lot in the long run. The main story here is Roode vs. Lashley III for the title, which should be a solid main event. Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, remember that next week the show will move to its regular time slot on Friday at 9pm EST.

We open with a very cool video showing the roster coming to the arena and looking over New York City. Roode, Storm and MVP give the roster pep talks before we get a Lashley vs. Roode staredown. Kenny King throws a punch at Roode and the brawl is on outside the arena. I mean the entire roster is brawling and being recorded by handheld cameras. They head into the arena and it’s just a massive war. After about five minutes, TNA boss Kurt Angle comes out and asks the fans if they want this fight to continue. He asks where all the champions are and says all titles are on the line tonight.

Angle has one more announcement to make but MVP gets in the ring and cuts him off. The fans tell MVP to shut the F up and the censoring is just a big off. MVP turns his back on Angle to offer him a free shot but Angle just spits. This isn’t the same Angle who used to make people tap out and threw people everywhere, because his in ring career is over. Angle says he’s stepped down as executive director, but he’s been reactivated as a wrestler, meaning it’s him vs. MVP tonight in a street fight. Starting NOW, even though both guys are in street clothes.

Kurt Angle vs. MVP

Both guys are in street The bell rings and Kurt knocks him to the floor as we go to a break eight seconds in. I really wish they would cut that out and just start the match after the break. Back with MVP kicking Angle in the face and no commentary. Kurt rolls some Germans but gets caught in something like Lesnar’s Kimura.

Angle counters with a headscissors and grabs more Germans, only to have MVP go after the knee that put Angle on the shelf for so many months. The commentary here is light years better than with Tenay and Taz as there aren’t any lame jokes and they’re actually focusing on the match. It’s nothing great but I’ll take average over whatever TNA had before any day. Back in again and Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to be pulled down into a side choke. MVP is wrestling a submission styles here and it’s only kind of working. Kurt counters into the ankle lock again but MVP gets up, only to take the Angle Slam for the pin at 11:20.

Rating: D+. This was quick and didn’t need to be a street fight. I understand the idea of bringing Angle back in but I really hope he wraps up his in ring career soon. He just gets hurt way too easily and I really don’t want to see him get hurt even worse next time. The match was too short though and the stipulation wasn’t necessary.

MVP rants to Kenny King after a break and wants to talk to Lashley.

Taz and new commentator Josh Mathews welcome us to the show. The new idea is there are cameras everywhere and they’re pulling the curtain back. I can hear Cornette’s rants from here.

Ethan Carter III (with Tyrus) doesn’t like not being on the show yet. He’s a man of honor and doesn’t break commitments he made. His first commitment: to take Rockstar Spud apart piece by piece, starting tonight. Tyrus is sent to secure the target.

Matthews is glad to be here and throws it to Tenay, who is hosting a new show called Impact Wrestling Unlocked, which sounds like Impact with stats and facts etc.

Tenay had an interview with James Storm about the Revolution and how surprising it’s been to him. Storm says that was the idea, because he’s knocked everything this company has given him out of the park. The group’s members just flock to Storm because he’s preaching the truth to them. Tenay loved the Feast or Fired cash in but wants to know about the future. Storm gets in his face and talks about the devil being less scary than he is before whistling a lot. I still really like this idea and I want to see where it goes.

Tag Team Titles: James Storm/Abyss vs. Wolves

The Revolution took the titles from the Wolves back in late 2014 using a Feast or Fired contract (TNA’s version of Money in the Bank). Actually we’re not done though as the Hardys come out in street clothes as we go to a break before the bell. The match starts with the Hardys just on the floor as spectators as Edwards backdrops Storm onto Abyss, setting up stereo suicide dives. They work so well that the Wolves hit them three more times in a row as the rest of the Revolution (Manik and Sanada) just stand around watching.

Back in and the Wolves start double teaming Storm until Abyss pulls Richards to the floor and chokeslams him onto the apron. I love stuff onto the apron. Richards is in trouble for a good twenty seconds before he rolls over and tags in Edwards to fight off both champions. Storm misses a charge into the corner but gets kicked in the head and caught in a backpack Stunner for two. They’re keeping a very fast pace here and it’s working quite well. The Wolves’ painted claw marks on their chests are working as well.

Abyss tries a double chokeslam but the Wolves backflip out for a cool counter before a top rope double stomp gets two on Storm. Richards is pulled to the floor and Abyss catapults Edwards into a Storm DDT for two. Sanada and Manik try to come in but the Hardys make a save to prevent the DQ. Jeff and Abyss get in a tug of war over Storm’s noose and the distraction lets Storm superkick Edwards to retain at 6:13.

Rating: C. Nice fast paced match here but it didn’t have the time to go anywhere. I’m not sure why we needed the Hardys out there and I really don’t care to see them in the tag division. Storm has something here with the Revolution but does he need to be stuck in another tag team? Let him go after something on his own for a change.

Package on Roode vs. Lashley I.

Carter tells a camera to come with him.

Back from a break with MVP yelling at Lashley about not having his priorities straight. He takes credit for all of Lashley’s success and says he leads this team. Lashley pins him up against the wall and says this is about getting the title back. This calms MVP down a bit.

Jeremy Borash tries to bring out someone for an interview but gets cut off by Ethan Carter III. He brags about his accomplishments and does Tyson’s Kidd’s FACT bit. Carter does one up him a bit though by going to some fans with a mic to do the dueling chant lines. Carter apologizes for slapping JB a few weeks back and asks Spud to get out here right now. Tyrus drags Spud through the entrance and throws him into the ring, where Carter says it’s time to cut the rest of Spud’s hair. His SCALP chant doesn’t quite get off the ground.

JB tries to intervene and actually slaps Carter, earning him a splash from Tyrus. Spud tries to cover him up, but Carter has another idea. It’s going to be Borash getting his hair cut and Carter busts out the clippers to shave off a big chunk of JB’s hair. Spud freaks out but this didn’t have the emotion they were going for.

King talks to MVP in the back but the audio is so low I can’t make out what they’re saying. MVP holds up his phone and that’s enough for King.

Video on Lashley vs. Roode II with Roode taking the title.

Package on the history of the X-Division and the sound quality is lacking again. The voiceover is barely audible unless I turn the volume up far higher than it needs to be on the rest of the show. The video turns into a focus on Low Ki, who has been in the division since it started.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Low Ki

Ki is defending. Feeling out process to start as Mathews mentions Low Ki being the first ROH Champion and plugging WWE Hall of Famer Edge being on Taz’s debut podcast in the span of ten seconds. They trade headscissors as Taz lists off some Brooklyn landmarks. Aries kicks Ki to the floor but charges into a kick to the head for a nice counter. Back up and Aries fires off forearms to send Ki to the floor for a suicide dive. That’s a move they need to tone down as it’s the fifth use of it in less than an hour.

The missile dropkick looks to set up the brainbuster but Ki counters into a kind of dragon sleeper. Aries grabs the ropes and heads up top, only to get kicked in the head again. Not to be outdone, Aries kicks Ki down from the top and plants him with a brainbuster to win the title for a sixth time at 6:18.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match here and I’m not wild on Aries getting the title back. Again, it’s something we’ve seen before and nothing I really need to see repeated. The matches are going to be entertaining, but they need some fresh talent in that division. Swap some of the roster around and give Aries some fresh competition, because they can only do the same matches so many times.

Knockouts Title: Battle Royal

Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, Taryn Terrell, Madison Rayne, Gail Kim, Havok, Rebel

Taryn Terrell is defending. Before the match, Robbie E. is welcomed back to TNA after competing on the Amazing Race. He didn’t win a million dollars due to his horrible partner, but at least he still looks like a million dollars. Robbie rips on Brooke a bit more until Taryn’s entrance cuts him off. Gail goes after Havok to start before the Beautiful People put Rebel out. Madison saves herself on the apron but get dumped by Havok.

Velvet eats defeat and Taryn knocks Angelina out as this is a very lame battle royal. Like even lamer than most battle royals. We’re down to Havok, Terrell, Kim and Sky with Havok taking a double dropkick. Brooke comes in through the crowd and jumps Robbie. Terrell and Kim dump Velvet before Havok throws out Gail, only to get thrown out by Terrell to retain at 4:58.

Rating: D-. This was REALLY dull stuff and just there to get to the ending. I know they’re trying to make Havok out to be a monster, but I don’t think she’s had ten matches in TNA so far. How dominant of a monster can she be with such a short resume? I mean, it’s not like she’s Kong or anything.

Post match Havok jumps Terrell and puts her in a bearhug but the lights go out. They come back up…..and KONG IS BACK! She stares Havok down and chokeslams a referee for old times’ sake.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode

Roode is defending and starts fast, only to be driven into the corner for some hard shoulders to the ribs. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on the champ but he comes back with the Crossface to send Lashley to the ropes. I hope they’re not going with the idea of using the same hold over and over again until the other guy taps out. Mix things up a bit and build to a finisher instead of just starting it at first.

They head outside with Roode being sent into the barricade but coming back with a hard clothesline. We get an inset camera shot of MVP and King in the back with two masked men. Security won’t let the masked men come in so the security guy gets beaten down as we go to a break. Back with Roode in a chinlock followed by a bearhug. Taz and Mathews actually explain how Lashley is softening up the midsection for the spear later on. I haven’t heard actual analysis from TNA since I don’t remember when.

Roode fights out and they stare each other down for a cool visual. The champ takes over with a clothesline and a big spinebuster for two, only to jump into a Davey Boy powerslam (to go with the delayed vertical suplex from earlier. Nothing but good can come from watching British Bulldog matches) for the same. Lashley hammers away in the corner but gets powerbombed down for another near fall. Now we get to something new as they hit each others’ finishers for two each.

Cue MVP, King and the masked men as Roode grabs the Crossface. Lashley just stands up for the break, only to walk into the Roode Bomb for two. Back to the Crossface (cross forehead actually) but King pulls the referee out and decks him with a right hand. Angle comes out to brawl with him but gets beaten down. The masked men unveil themselves as Low Ki and Samoa Joe. Eric Young comes in with a chair….and turns on Roode with a bunch of chair shots. Lashley spears Roode down for the pin and the title at 20:00.

Rating: B-. I liked the match utnil the ending, which feels like yet another heel stable. Eric Young as a potential big bad drives me insane because…..how do I put this…..NO ONE CARES ABOUT ERIC FREAKING YOUNG! The match was good and I’m assuming this sets up Lethal Lockdown with Team Roode vs. Team MVP or Lashley. Not the worst idea but I’m terrified of another heel stable, especially if there’s going to be a leader with authority.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m torn on this one as I really liked the energy and some of the tweaks they made (commentary was WAY better tonight), but it feels like they’re resetting a lot of what they did back in December. Aries is X-Division Champion again and Lashley has the World Title back? So why put it on Roode in the first place other than to just give it a feel good moment?

The ending…..erg. This is the frustrating part about TNA: they can’t help but go back to the same ideas that we’ve seen so many times before to diminishing results each time. The idea might work for awhile at first, but then it overstays its welcome and turns into the same idea they’ve always had. Hopefully that’s not where they’re going with this, but TNA doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.

The rest of the show worked pretty well though as they focused on the wrestling and advanced stories where they needed to. The Revolution is still awesome and Storm is nailing the cult leader character, especially with that creepy whistling. They also did a good job of introducing a lot of the new people. I’d call this a good first effort on a new channel, but the ending makes me nervous.

Results

Kurt Angle b. MVP – Angle Slam

James Storm/Abyss b. Wolves – Last Call to Edwards

Austin Aries b. Low Ki – Brainbuster

Taryn Terrell won a battle royal last eliminating Havok

Lashley b. Bobby Roode – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Best of Motor City Machine Guns
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Don West
Host: Jeremy Borash

On the other side of the spectrum from the technical brawlers of Beer Money, we have the fast paced high fliers in the Guns. This is one of the most popular teams the company has ever had, but unfortunately just like the other set, a lot of great stuff happened after this was filmed. This actually includes a lot of singles stuff too. Let’s get to it.

Borash does a quick intro to try and tie this into the Beer Money part, even though it’s completely separate.

The Guns talk about how great the tag team division is in TNA right now.

Brutus Magnus vs. Chris Sabin

From Against All Odds 2009 and Magnus is issuing an open challenge. This is when Magnus was a Roman gladiator, based on his character on the UK show Gladiators. This was referenced by Tenay except for one thing: he never actually said what Gladiators actually was. That’s kind of important to mention no? Magnus easily shoves him down to start as the fans chant USA. They stay on the mat with Magnus holding a horrible armbar until Sabin fights up for a kick to the ribs. He escapes a gorilla press and goes after the legs until Magnus just ends him with a clothesline.

A delayed vertical suplex gets no cover on Sabin but a slingshot elbow has him in trouble. After a chinlock goes nowhere, Sabin fights up and nails a springboard clothesline for two. He tries to get too fast though and has his hurricanrana countered with a powerbomb. Magnus misses a charge and falls to the floor, only to get taken down by a big plancha. Back in and Magnus grabs the referee, earning him a shove into the ropes to crotch Sabin. Tormentum (a spinning Samoan drop) is enough to give Magnus the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s how you open a DVD about how great the Guns are? With a dull match ending in a loss? The gladiator character really didn’t do much for me and Magnus would be far more interesting once he just became a British guy. I still can’t get over this loss though. What’s the thinking here?

The Guns talk about having experience all over the world and how it’s made them a stronger team.

X-Division Title: Alex Shelley vs. Eric Young

Also from Against All Odds 2009 and Shelley is defending. For some reason they aired these matches out of order, meaning that this match was spoiled by the commentary in the previous match. Alexis is the villain here here and Eric hammers away to start before clotheslining him out to the floor. They keep trading places with no contact until Alex gets dropkicked off the apron, setting up a slingshot plancha from Young.

Shelley comes right back by sending Eric into the barricade, only to be sent into it as well. That’s fine with Alex though as he sidesteps a dive, sending Eric into the steel a second time. Back in and Alex kicks him out of the air before putting on a bow and arrow hold. A top rope knee to the back has Young in even more trouble as they head out to the apron.

Alex tries a catapult out there but can’t send Young anywhere. He can however duck a charge, sending Young crashing over the post. Back in and Shelley nails some running elbows to the face and a low dropkick for two. Off to a cobra clutch for a few moments before Young grabs a quick flapjack to get a breather. A discus lariat gets two for Eric but Alex hits a top rope jawbreaker of all things. Young’s Death Valley Driver is countered but he nails a springboard Fameasser for two.

The champ avoids a moonsault and nails what would become known as Sister Abigail for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 gets the same and Shelley takes him up top. Young tries to counter but winds up eating a Mysterio sitout bulldog, followed by a nice Frog Splash for an even closer two. They head back up again with Eric countering something into a hot shot onto the buckle. For some reason Young stops to argue with the referee, allowing Shelley to grab a rollup to retain.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Young barely got in any offense after the first few minutes. It wound up being an extended squash with an odd ending, as Young didn’t even cover before he went over to yell at the referee for no apparent reason. It’s not a bad match or anything but it was oddly worked.

The Guns name the Midnight Express as their greatest influence and say they have to rely on their minds rather than their physical abilities.

Steel Asylum

Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Curry Man, Jimmy Rave, Jay Lethal, Johnny Devine, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt, Super Eric

From Bound For Glory 2008. You should know who everyone is here. Super Eric is Eric Young as a superhero and is part of the Prince Justice Brotherhood along with Shark Boy and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian curry company mascot). This is inside a big red cage with a dome on top. There’s a hole in the top of the dome and the first person to climb up and out gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future. Since there are ten men in the ring, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on.

Everyone goes after everyone to start with the Brotherhood and the Guns taking over early on. Shark Boy gets beaten up in the corner and then Devine gets the same treatment. The abused start fighting now as Sharky stomps on Johnny in the corner. We get a six man suplex with the Brotherhood all getting suplexed at the same time. Naturally they sell way too long for a suplex but that’s what you get in big spots like that.

Petey hooks his Russian legsweep on Dutt but gets pulled down when trying to escape. Curry Man goes up but Shelley makes a save. Alex’s climb goes just as well with Shark Boy leg sweeping him down. Super Eric drops Devine with a neckbreaker off the middle rope before Lethal and Dutt slug it out on the top rope. Curry Man takes Sonjay down with the Tokyo Dangerous backbreaker off the ropes. Lethal hurricanranas Rave off the top and Shelley adds a frog splash for good measure.

Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on both Devine and Dutt at the same time but the Guns stop him from leaving. The Guns take everyone down until Petey nails Shelley with a Canadian Destroyer. Shark Boy hits a double Stunner off the top to plant Shelley and Petey at the same time. The parade of finishers begins and Devine is the last man standing. Dutt gets up to stop his escape attempt though and Curry Man takes everyone down so he can do his dance. Curry almost gets to the exit but Dutt pulls him down. Lethal hammers Dutt in the ribs and climbs out for the win.

Rating: C. These matches are fun but they get really tiring after awhile. You can only see these spots for so long before you want some kind of storytelling or coherence after awhile. The match was entertaining but I’d much rather have like five guys in there at most. It would make things flow so much easier instead of being the mess that it was.

The Guns talk about not getting opportunities for about fifteen seconds.

Rock and Rave Infection vs. Kaz/Eric Young vs. Rellik/Black Reign vs. LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Petey Williams/Scott Steiner

From Lockdown 2008. This is one of the dumbest ideas TNA has ever had: Cuffed In A Cage. It’s an elimination match but you only eliminate a team by handcuffing them to the cage. I’ve never gotten Russo’s obsession with handcuffs but I have a feeling it’s rather disturbing. On top of that, we don’t even have tags so it’s everyone fighting to start. The Infection is a bad rock band (complete with Rock Band guitars) made of Jimmy Rave and Lance Rock. Before the match we see Young getting laid out by Rellik (Johnny the Bull) and Black Reign (Dustin Rhodes) to continue their stupid monster feud, leaving Kaz to go it alone.

It’s a huge brawl to start of course and there’s almost no way to call anything. Steiner gets taken down and stomped by the monsters and Rock before they quickly cuff him. Eric Young stumbles out to make sure have TWELVE people in the ring at once. Thankfully the monsters keep him out because Eric is afraid of them. Young walks out and heads to the back, leaving Kaz all alone.

The match is still a huge mess where you can barely tell what’s going on, even with things slowing down. Kaz sidesteps Sabin to send him into the cage before cuffing him to the cage. Shelley gets cuffed as well, eliminating the Guns. Williams gets beaten up by the monsters and cuffed to the cage. This is almost like a battle royal as there’s nothing going on between these eliminations.

A Doomsday Cutter from LAX drops Rave and Hernandez just LAUNCHES him into the steel. Rock makes a save with a clothesline as Kaz hits the Flux Capacitor (top rope C4) to knock Rave silly. The monsters are on him almost immediately and LAX has been cuffed. So we’ve got Kaz, Rock and Rave, Reign and Rellik still in it. Rock and Kaz head up top with Lance chokeslamming him down, allowing the monsters to cuff Kaz.

The fans are screaming for Super Eric and get him almost immediately. It’s Eric Young as a superhero which keeps him from being afraid of the monsters. Young dives onto all four guys left in the match and quickly cuffs the Infection. So it’s Young vs. Reign/Rellik as everyone else is still in the ring, cuffed to the side of the cage. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a handicap match where you can barely reach the side of the cage? Rellik tries to cuff Eric but gets cuffed instead, leaving Eric to piledrive Reign and cuff him for the win.

Rating: D-. There was barely any wrestling, the match was such a mess because there were so many people in it, and the whole thing was a disaster. Young being afraid of the monsters worked if you didn’t think about it, but Reign and Rellik were pretty horrible in the roles, which didn’t make things any better.

The Guns talk about the idea behind the team: two bodies, one mind.

Steel Asylum

Sonjay Dutt, Curry Man, Consequences Creed, Shark Boy, Jimmy Rave, Kaz, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Johnny Devine, Jay Lethal

From Sacrifice 2008. It’s the same concept as earlier, meaning everyone is in the ring at once and the first man to climb out wins a shot at the X-Division Title. By the way, this is the fifth match on the set and the Guns have only been a team in the cuffed match, where they were eliminated first. This isn’t much of a Best Of set. TNA boss Jim Cornette comes out and offers the winner a spot in tonight’s World Title match due to Angle being unable to compete.

Again it’s the big red cage with ten guys inside at once so you can barely keep track of what’s going on. Creed takes Curry Man (Daniels) down with a flip clothesline but gets nailed by Rave. Sharky dropkicks Kaz but gets double teamed by the Guns’ speed offense. Sonjay’s piledriver attempt on Shelley is countered into a reverse powerbomb (that’s a finisher waiting to be made).

We get our first attempt at an escape with Creed going up, only to dive down onto Kaz instead. The Guns beat up Curry Man again before Sonjay throws Sabin into Shelley, causing Chris to DDT Alex when Sonjay takes Sabin down with a neckbreaker. It’s as stupid as it sounds. Back up and we get a ridiculous six man Tower of Doom, capped off by Devine hitting a hurricanrana off the top of the cage.

Rave stops Lethal from escaping before taking him down with a freaky spinning Angle Slam kind of move. Sharky hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Shelley followed by the Dead Sea Drop (Diamond Dust) on Sabin. Curry Man takes Dutt up top for a powerbomb onto everyone else for a huge crash. Rave and Curry slug it out until Curry Man hits a top rope Spice Rack (upside down AA) as this just keeps going. Kaz takes Curry Man down with a Flux Capacitor but Creed stops him from escaping. Devine piledrives Creed down and goes up, only to have Kaz throw him onto the pile again, allowing Kaz to climb out for the win.

Rating: C+. The match is a total spot fest but man alive it gets annoying to have these big messes. It was like they were trying to come up with stuff to fill in time instead of having any kind of flow to the match. On top of all that, the Guns continue to barely be a factor in their own DVD set. What’s up with that?

The Guns talk about what it means to face Team 3D.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal/Motor City Machine Guns vs. Johnny Devine/Team 3D

From Against All Odds 2008. Believe it or not, this has a bunch of stipulations. Team 3D and X-Division Champion Devine have gone to war against the X-Division and if they win here, the division disbands. If Lethal and the Guns win, Team 3D has to weigh less than 275lbs to wrestle and the person who gets the fall wins the X-Division Title. Got all that?

It’s a huge brawl to start as you would expect and thankfully we go split screen to see most of it. I say most of it because there’s a huge AGAINST ALL ODDS logo covering the top half of the screen. Is that there in case you’ve bought all the PPVs that night and are flipping through the channels to pick something to watch? They finally start heading inside with Lethal nailing Ray in the head with a Dead End sign. The good guys hit stereo dives to the floor to take out everyone else in a nice visual.

Now we get the big weapons, including Sabin throwing in an inflatable doll. We also get the now clichéd kitchen sink, which makes West far too excited. Team 3D takes some sink shots to the face as Devine chokes Lethal on the floor. The Guns put sleepers on 3D and Lethal gets back in, only to take a double suplex from Team 3D, driving the Guns into the mat in the process. The villains take over with Devine nailing Lethal in the head with a keyboard for two.

Sabin saves Lethal from a big kendo stick shot and the Guns start speeding things up again to take over. High/Low gets two on D-Von but he pops back up to nail 3D on Sabin. Shelley eats one of his own but Lethal nails a springboard dropkick to drop D-Von. The fans want tables as Ray nails Lethal to take over again. Jay’s girlfriend So Cal Val is begging them to stop but Lethal flips Ray off, earning him a trashcan shot to the head. Ray pulls Val in as Tenay freaks out, because the idea of Team 3D attacking a woman is just sick right Mike?

Lethal saves Val from a cheese grater to the head and takes Ray down with a top rope hurricanrana. D-Von pulls the referee out at two so Jay dives onto him as this has basically turned into a handicap match. Jay’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ray and the Lethal Combination gets the same on Devine. A huge Bubba Bomb puts Jay down for two as it’s table time. Jay fights off all three guys again and blasts Devine with the Dead End sign. A Macho Elbow through Devine through the table gives Jay the title. The Guns weren’t seen for the last four minutes of the match.

Rating: C. The match was fun, if not TOTALLY RIDICULOUS. I mean, I’m supposed to believe that Jay Lethal can beat Team 3D and the X-Division Champion on his own in a street fight? The Guns continue to mean nothing on this set, which is really starting to get old. Can we see them featured in a single match already? They certainly weren’t here, as this was all about Jay Lethal.

The Guns talk about Generation Me being younger versions of them. Generation Me (the Young Bucks) aren’t on the set but it’s nice to hear about them.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. No Limit

From Lockdown 2009 and inside a cage with the Guns defending. No Limit is a Japanese team comprises of Naito and Yujiro. No tags again here as we have to make sure everything is as big of a mess as possible. Naturally it’s a brawl to start and I have no idea which member of No Limit is which. I believe Naito goes up for a cross body but Shelley breaks up his second attempt by tying him into the Tree of Woe.

Hernandez yells at the referee as Homicide elbows Yujiro in the jaw to take over. Yujiro powers Homicide up into a powerslam for two. Sabin kicks Hernandez in the head but has his Octopus Hold easily broken up. Hernandez just LAUNCHES Sabin into the cage in an awesome looking crash. Shelley chops away at SuperMex but Sabin has to break up a delayed superplex. That’s fine with Hernandez as he suplexes both of them down with ease.

No Limit takes the Guns down as well but LAX runs them over like the generic foreigners that they are. A middle rope knee drop gives Homicide a two count on Yujiro but the Guns get back up to crotch Homicide on the ropes. They bust out the kicks on Hernandez before putting Homicide on his shoulders for a missile dropkick, driving both members of LAX into the mat.

No Limit gets back up and hits a kind of Poetry In Motion on Shelley, setting up a big splash from Hernandez. A middle rope dropkick to the ribs gets two on Yujiro but Hernandez easily blocks a sunset flip attempt from Sabin. Chris gets LAUNCHED into the cage again as Hernandez is just way too strong for everyone. Shelley gets Border Tossed into the cage but No Limit slams down both members of LAX with Hernandez kicking out at two.

Sabin avoids a swan dive from Yujiro and a corkscrew moonsault from Naito as the Guns take over again. LAX gets back up though and takes Yujiro down with a Doomsday Cutter. The Guns bust out the kicks on Hernandez and nail a sitout powerbomb/Sliced Bread #2 (Made In Detroit) on Naito to retain the belts.

Rating: C. This was the first somewhat traditional match we’ve had on this entire set and it was only so good. Naito and Yujiro were just warm bodies out there and barely did anything for the entire match. LAX vs. the Guns would be a far better match, assuming you can overlook Hernandez not being a junior heavyweight.

The Guns talk about some international teams that they think would be great opponents, including Apollo 55 from New Japan.

Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team TNA vs. Team International

Team Mexico – Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno
Team Japan – Milano Collection A.T./Masato Yoshino/Puma
Team International – Alex Kozlov/Doug Williams/Tyson Dux
Team TNA – Curry Man/Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin

From Victory Road 2008 and this is part of the World X Cup, which was something like a World Cup for X-Division wrestling. This is a four corners elimination match with the winners getting three points, second place getting two points and third place getting one point. Also this isn’t the final, as there’s an Ultimate X match later on in the show.

Curry Man starts with Yoshino and eats a quick dropkick that might have just needed some sauce (I apologize for that joke already). The Guns quickly come in and hammer away on Yoshino, firing off some incredibly fast kicks in the process. Dux tags himself in to work on Sabin before handing it off to Williams for a running knee in the corner. This is moving incredibly fast so far.

An inverted Gory Stretch/Dragon Sleeper combo has Sabin in major trouble before it’s off to all three members of Team Mexico to clean house on Williams. Dux takes a spinebuster/neckbreaker combination before Guerrero hits a big flip dive to take out Douglas. A quick rollup gives Bucanero a pin on Dux as this ring needs to be cleared out a bit.

Yoshino and Bucanero fight on the floor before Yoshino throws him back inside for a double team from the other Japanese guys. Off to Bucanero vs. Puma with Ray hitting a kind of reverse sitout powerbomb for two. Mexico and Japan have an insanely fast sequence ending in Puma kicking Milano by mistake, allowing Averno to faceplant Puma down for the pin.

Milano flips Averno to the apron but gets kicked in the head, followed by a low superkick for two with Ray making the save. Sabin tries a springboard forearm but Milao Matrixes down to avoid any contact. Shelley comes in at the same time but both guys get taken down into a single half crab from Milano. Curry Man makes a save but Milano pretends to take a low blow, only to have a second referee say Sabin didn’t cheat. Instead Sabin kicks Milano in the head, setting up the Cradle Shock for an elimination.

So we’re down to all three TNA guys, Kozlov and Williams for International, all three Mexico guys and just Yoshino for Japan. Yoshino grabs a kind of double leg Fameasser for two on Sabin but Shelley comes in off a hot tag to kick Yoshino in the head. The Guns speed things up again with some hard kicks to the head for two more but Yoshino comes back with an Octopus Hold on Shelley. Sabin makes a fast save but Averno tags himself in to hit a kind of reverse spinout powerbomb (popular move tonight) for two on Yoshino. They trade rollups until Yoshino cradles Averno down for the pin.

Kozlov comes in to powerslam Curry Man but stops for his dancing kicks spot. Williams slides in for Rolling Chaos Theory on Sabin with Curry making a save. It’s Williams and Curry Man slugging it out now until Team Mexico double teams Curry Man in the corner. Guerrero throws Bucanero onto Williams’ back before powerbombing Curry Man down for an elimination. Guerrero puts Williams over his knees for a corkscrew plancha from Bucanero for the pin.

We’re down to the Guns for TNA, Bucanero and Guerrero for Mexico, Kozlov for International and Yoshino for Japan. The Guns dropkick Team Mexico to the floor but miss their dives. Kozlov tries to start a RUSSIA chant in the ring so Guerrero counters with a MEXICO chant. He might actually have a chance as this show is in Houston. Kozlov kicks Guerrero low and puts on a kind of cobra clutch crossface for the submission. Bucanero comes right in and faceplants Kozlov for two, sending Kozlov off to tag in Sabin.

Bucanero goes up top but takes a huge hurricanrana from Sabin, followed by a double kick from the Guns for an elimination, finishing off Team Mexico. Yoshino eats some kicks to the face as well before the Guns but out some insane double teams, including a dropkick into a Downward Spiral, for two on Kozlov. The Russian dives into a dropkick to the ribs and eats an RKO followed by a wicked clothesline for two. Kozlov is almost done but still grabs a rollup on Sabin with his feet on the ropes for the pin.

It’s Shelley vs. Kozlov vs. Yoshino now with Kozlov hitting a huge dive to take out his fellow Alex in a big crash. Yoshino fires off strikes to Kozlov’s face, followed by Sin Cara’s La Mistica mat slam for two. A kind of armbar makes Kozlov tap and we’re down to one on one. Shelley comes back in but takes too much time setting something up, allowing Yoshino to nail a dropkick for two.

A quick Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Yoshino but he blocks a Frog Splash with raised knees. Shelley puts him on top for a superkick, only to get caught in a kind of springboard spinning Zig Zag to give Yoshino a VERY close near fall. Yoshino says that’s it and takes him up top, only to take a top rope atomic drop, followed by Sheamus’ White Noise to give Shelley the pin.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but once they got going it was nothing but fast paced action the entire way. Some of those near falls were excellent and they kept the match moving fast enough that you couldn’t keep up with what was going on. Keeping it up for over twenty four minutes is very impressive and the match was a blast.

Interestingly enough, the rest of this DVD isn’t on the video TNA put up on its official YouTube channel and I had to find it myself. That’s rather odd, especially when the Beer Money disc was there in its entirety.

The Guns talk about singles competition and how it means a lot to them, just like teaming together.

X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley

From Bound For Glory 2008 and it’s Ultimate X with Red defending. Red is a guy that was around near the beginning of TNA and did some very impressive flips, earning the adulation of Don West. Don is now managing the champ and was known to climb on the announcers’ table and cheer for him. Sabin and Shelley won a match on the preshow to get in this match. Suicide is a video game character who started appearing on TV, portrayed by Daniels or Kazarian (the latter here). Homicide is part of the World Elite stable, which is a group of international wrestlers, led by Eric Young, who feel they haven’t been treated right.

It’s a mad scramble to the corners to start but no one can get anywhere. Everyone goes after everyone with Homicide getting the biggest advantage by taking down Shelley and diving through the ropes to take out Daniels. Suicide rolls the champion over and dives onto Homicide but the Guns work together to set up a suicide dive on…uh Suicide actually. Red kicks Shelley but gets dropped by Daniels, who goes for a climb. Red isn’t done yet and hurricanranas Daniels onto everyone else in the match.

Back in and Sabin busts out a giant swing on Red but Shelley adds a dropkick to the champ’s head to make it even worse. Daniels attacks both Guns and Homicide goes for a climb, only to have Suicide springboard up to the ropes and make a save, only to get pulled down into a Gringo Cutter. Sabin holds Daniels and Homicide for a top rope double stomp from Shelley.

The Guns continue their control by working over Red but the champion escapes a Doomsday Device with a Sliced Bread #2 instead of a clothesline and takes Sabin down with a hurricanrana. Suicide comes back in but Homicide suplexes him down. Homicide drops the champ and goes up but Daniels pulls him down and nails a Death Valley Driver. Red goes for the ropes but slowly comes back down for some reason, only to go back towards the belt until Suicide pulls him back down.

Now it’s Daniels and Sabin going up and kicking at each other while hanging in the air, eventually knocking each other down for a big crash. Sabin nails a tornado DDT on Daniels and Shelley nails a Sliced Bread #2 on Suicide. We get the Parade of Secondary Finishers, followed by Shelley, Red and Suicide hitting a huge Tower of Doom out of the corner with Suicide taking the worst of it (and kicking Daniels in the face on the way down).

Suicide throws Daniels down but Red kicks him in the face and gets caught by a corkscrew dive. Sabin goes nuts until Suicide kicks him off the top rope. Suicide goes right back up and hits the Flux Capacitor on Sabin, setting up Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Daniels and Suicide climb onto the top of the structure above the cables and Red follows after them.

The fans ask them not to die so Daniels and Suicide tease suplexing each other off. They slap each other until Daniels carefully climbs down onto the X but Suicide does the same and they both fall with Daniels landing on his head. Tazz rightfully shouts CHECK HIM as Red slips down through the treeses as well and grabs the title before someone dies.

Rating: C+. That Daniels bump had me terrified when I saw it live and it doesn’t get any easier here. Thankfully he was ok for the most part. I can’t emphasize how much better this was than last year’s opener with just six men involved. It gives the match a chance to breathe and you can keep track of what’s going on. This was a good opener but the Daniels fall made it hard to sit through at the end.

What would happen if they fought each other? We would find out at Genesis 2009.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley

From Genesis 2009 and it’s a tournament final. They circle each other to start until Alex grabs an armbar. Sabin grabs one of his own but gets kicked off and they nip up to a standoff. Back up and Sabin cranks on the arm a bit more until Shelley takes him down by the leg. They get up again and speed things WAY up with armdrags and flips into another standoff.

Sabin gets in the first major shot of the match with a kick to the face before cranking on an armbar with his leg around Shelley’s head. Chris sends him out to the floor for a big suicide dive, driving Alex’s head into the announcers’ table. Back in and Sabin drapes Sabin over the middle rope, setting up a Harlem Hangover into a Fameasser for a close two. They trade chops with Shelley getting the better of it before hitting a Lionsault for two. Off to an abdominal stretch from Alex with an additional arm crank for good measure.

It doesn’t last long though as Sabin tries Cradle Shock, only to have Alex escape and send him face first into the mat. That’s fine with Sabin who pops up and kicks Shelley’s head off for two. They slug it out again with Sabin knocking him into the corner for a running elbow to the jaw.

A big springboard tornado DDT gets two on Alex as Sabin is getting frustrated. He goes for another springboard but dives into a Crossface which Shelley spins into an attempted tiger suplex, only to have Chris send him into the corner for a break. Sabin snaps off the tiger suplex for two and White Noise gets the same for Shelley. Alex blocks a top rope hurricanrana and plants Sabin with a slam, only to have his Frog Splash hit knees.

Sabin misses a kick of his own and Alex nails two straight Frog Splashes for two. Back up and Sabin nails a clothesline and Cradle Shock gets two. A middle rope Cradle Shock is countered into a super Sliced Bread #2 for another near fall and Alex is STUNNED. He loads up another Sliced Bread but Sabin throws him off, only to have Shelley come up limping. Sabin checks on his partner and gets rolled up for the pin to give Alex the title.

Rating: C+. I liked most of this and the idea was decent enough, but the opening was kind of a stretch. The idea is that they think the exact same way, but there comes a point where it’s clearly choreographed and there’s almost no way around it. The rest of it worked well enough with a bunch of near falls, and they probably did the right thing with a shifty ending instead of letting one member get a fair pin.

The Guns talk about how the future is more important to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D+. What the heck was that? I’m really not sure how this can be described as the Best of the Motor City Machine Guns when there’s a single match where they’re a regular team and the rest is almost all about them either in a big gimmick match or as afterthoughts in a multiman singles match. They said the fans picked these matches, which makes me think the fans don’t like the Guns all that much. This set needed to be released about three years later, when the Guns had built up a big catalog of matches to pick from. Like a title win for example.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 3, 2014
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Hosts: Christy Hemme, Jeremy Borash

This is a special Best Of 2014 show as TNA is out of new material to use and still has a month’s worth of shows to air to wrap things up on Spike. The solution is a highlight show covering their best moments from the year. That could actually work well as TNA can have good material when they cut out the nonsense. Let’s get to it.

I’ll be posting the full reviews of the matches, even if only clipped versions were showns.

JB and Christy welcome us to the show and start things off with the safe bet of Kurt Angle from Genesis on January 16.

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

Roode has a new sleeveless full body vest. It’s pin/submission/escape here. There’s no bell after the break so we’ll say this is joined in progress. Roode goes after Kurt to start but walks into a belly to belly suplex to give Angle control. He stomps Bobby down in the corner but his right hands are countered with a powerbomb into the cage. A suplex gets two for Roode and more choking ensues.

Angle grabs the legs and catapults Roode into the cage, setting up the Rolling Germans. The Angle Slam is countered and Angle is sent into the cage. A spinebuster gets a fast two for Roode but a Roode Bomb attempt is countered by Angle ramming Bobby into the cage. Now the Slam connects for two and there go the straps. Ankle lock goes on but Roode fights to his feet and takes Angle down with an enziguri.

We go old school with Roode’s Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) for two. Roode goe sup but Angle makes a save and rams Roode into the cage over and over again until he falls down. Kurt is still on the ropes and goes to escape before looking back at Roode. Oh no. Angle busts out the moonsault but only hits mat in a HUGE crash. Roode crawls out the door but Angle grabs the ankle to pull him back in. Kurt is kicked away so they do the same thing again but this time Kurt puts on the ankle lock, only to have Roode whip him into the cage.

The Roode Bomb gets two and Bobby climbs the cage, so Angle runs the corner and hits the Angle Slam to put both guys down again. Kurt crawls over for a slow two before making a very slow climb to the corner. He gets a leg over but Roode pulls him back in onto the top rope. They slug it out until Roode is crotched on the top, allowing Angle to climb out for the win at 14:17, seconds before Roode makes it out the door.

Rating: B. Angle is going to die in a wrestling ring at some point and there’s no way around it. This was a good but not classic cage match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Above all else, this match was given time to develop and it worked much better as a result. I’d buy this as the ending of the feud but there’s a chance they could get one more match out of them.

We jump back in time a week for this match on January 9, 2014.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Magnus

No DQ and both guys are champion coming in. Magnus immediately goes to the floor and does it again for a second time in less than ninety seconds. No contact yet. Magnus gets back in but here are Ethan Carter and Spud to jump AJ before any contact is made. AJ fights them off and superkicks Magnus in the ribs but Carter breaks up a Styles Clash attempt. Sting finally comes out for the save but doesn’t do anything as AJ saves himself. Magnus bails to the floor and we take a break.

Back with the two champions still not making contact as the Bro Mans and Zema Ion come out to jump Sting and AJ and giving us six run-ins in less than eight minutes. Zema DDTs AJ and the Bro Down gets a delayed two on Styles. Sting comes back in as Magnus just chills at ringside. The Brit finally comes back in and AJ quickly loads up the Clash, only to have Bad Influence make the save and lay him out with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo.

Earl Hebner refuses to count so Dixie and Brian Hebner get us to ELEVEN people coming out for this match. Bad Influence goes High/Low on AJ for two and Brian gets yelled at. Sting lays out the Bro Mans with a double Death Drop on the floor before putting Ion in the Deathlock. AJ fights back against Bad Influence as Sting comes in to help even more. We’re down to Magnus vs. AJ with Styles getting the Calf Killer, only to have Kazarian take out the referee.

Kazarian monkey flips AJ into Daniels but AJ clotheslines him down and Peles Kaz. Now the Styles Clash takes out Magnus but there’s no referee. Earl Hebner hobbles back out (we’ll call that #12) to count two before AJ dives over the top to take out Bad Influence yet again. AJ goes up top but Bobby Roode makes it #13 by shoving Styles into the ropes. Three AA/DVDs lay AJ out for about the fifth time, giving Magnus the pin (thanks to referee #3 and the fourteenth person added to the match) and the undisputed title at 15:47. Sting was being held back by most of the heels in case you were wondering.

Rating: D. So they spent all night hyping up the match before going full Russo on it. That’s what we spent months and months building to? The match was definitely energetic but we really had to spend all this time setting up Dixie with her corporate champion? Assuming AJ leaving isn’t a HUGE swerve, this was one of the biggest wastes of time I can remember in years.

Video on Willow.

Video on Ethan Carter III.

From May 8, 2014.

Kurt Angle vs. Ethan Carter III

Angle goes after the arm to start but Ethan backs off. A snap suplex sets up the Rolling Germans to Ethan but Angle falls down holding his bad knee. Angle tries to fight back with a German suplex but the knee is just gone. Ethan gets in a quick chop block and pins Angle at 3:27.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the injury took up a good chunk of the match. I’ll give them points for keeping Ethan so strong and I kind of like not having Angle beat him with ease. It’s making Ethan look like a much bigger deal which is something TNA really needs to do.

We recap Gunner vs. Storm with James turning heel and attacking Gunner’s father, setting up this match from March 27, 2014.

Gunner vs. James Storm

This is an Unlocked match, which is another name for a street fight. The fight is on in the aisle again and Gunner quickly sets up a table. Storm gets in a right hand before the table is completely set so he finishes Gunner’s job. Gunner is whipped knees first into the steps as Tenay tells us we’ll see Ethan and Willow’s confrontation before the show ends. A running knee to Gunner’s head knocks him from the apron to the floor. They haven’t been in the ring yet.

Storm suplexes Gunner onto the ramp but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. Gunner nails him in the ribs with a chair and they finally get inside. The Cowboy comes back with a middle rope DDT of all things for no cover as we take a break. Back with Storm loading up a chair in the corner but getting reversed by Gunner. They slug it out with trashcan lids before Storm gets speared down for two.

Storm counters a sunset flip into a catapult, sending Gunner face first into the chair. A Backstabber sets up a VERY long top rope elbow to give Storm a near fall. Storm pulls out a beer bottle but the distraction lets Gunner spear him through the ropes and through the table on the floor ala Edge and Mick Foley. That only gets two so Gunner sets up two chairs (one of which is broken) in the middle of the ring.

A superplex through the chairs (Storm barely hit them) is enough for two in a nice throwback to the ending at Lockdown. Storm comes back with a Closing Time and a pair of Last Calls for two. James gets the beer bottle but Gunner finds his own to lay out Storm. An F5 is enough to pin the Cowboy at 15:03.

Rating: B+. This was one heck of a fight with both guys beating the tar out of each other. There’s something awesome about two men just hammering each other until one of them can’t get up. I don’t like the story here though as the match was tacked on to the feud after the previous match should have ended things. Still though, awesome stuff.

Video on MVP debuting and promising to make it about the fans.

We see the very end of Lethal Lockdown at Lockdown 2014 where Bully Ray turned on Dixie Carter to give Team MVP the win.

From Slammiversary 2014.

Bully Ray vs. Ethan Carter III

Texas Death Match, meaning last man standing. Ray brings out a bullrope ala Stan Hansen for a nice tribute. Carter is thrown to the floor by the rope to start and Ray brings out a pair of tables. They’re stacked next to each other on the floor but Carter recovers from the coma he was in to get in a few shots and take over. Ray fights right back and sets up another table in the corner but the fans want cowbell.

Carter avoids the table but gets his chest ripped off by more chops. Time for the cheese grater to rip up Ethan’s chest (barely), which isn’t something you often see. Carter gets in a few shots to take over and sends Ray face first into a chair on the mat. He goes up top but gets crotched and superplexed onto the chair to put both guys down. Ray grabs a Dallas Cowboys trashcan from under the ring before starting to cut up the mats to expose the wood under the canvas.

Joker Spud comes out with a kendo stick shot to Ray’s back for no effect. Ray kicks him low and knocks Spud silly with the stick but Carter hits a quick One Percenter onto the exposed boards for our first count over twelve minutes into the match. Ray is up at eight so Carter pours out the glass in the trashcan. Carter goes up but dives into a Bubba Cutter, sending the injured chest into the glass for a cool spot. He’s up at eight though so Ray takes the stick outside to knock Ethan silly again.

Ray puts him on the tables and goes up but here’s Dixie for a distraction. Bully goes after her and sends Ethan into Dixie to knock her out cold. Ethan gets punched down and Ray puts Dixie on the table. He takes too long though, allowing Spud to pull her off and Ethan knocks Ray through the tables with a kendo stick shot for the win at 17:05.

Rating: C. It was a nice brawl with some nice spots but NO ONE CARES ABOUT DIXIE. After all this, if she doesn’t go through a table in New York, this whole story has been a huge waste of time. Also, never accept an induction to the Hall of Fame unless you want to lose on a last second fluke the same night. At least D-Von didn’t join forces with Dixie.

We breeze past Eric Young winning the title back in April and jump to the main event of Slammiversary.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young

In a cage with Young defending with wins by pin or submissino, not escape. Lashley takes over to start but gets double teamed down. The smaller guys do a fast paced sequence until Lashley throws Aries into the cage. Young gets the same as well, allowing Lashley to stand tall. Bobby throws both guys around again but misses a charge into the post. Young and Aries go at it again until Eric hammers on Bobby in the corner.

Aries powerbombs the champion down but stops to go after Lashley again, only to be suplexed into the cage for two. We get a bad looking botch as Aries hits a running cross body in the corner but Young just lets him bounce off of him for some reason. Young gets to show off his freakish strength with a double Death Valley Driver but Lashley is up at two. He puts Young on top of the cage as the fans chant please don’t die. Aries goes up top as well to take Lashley down with a hurricanrana, but Eric stands up on top of the cage for the huge elbow to Bobby.

Aries punts Eric in the head though and hits the brainbuster for a very close two. Lashley spears Austin down for two and spinebusters the champion, only to miss the spear and fall out of the cage. Remember that doesn’t end the match though as escape doesn’t count. Young hits the top rope elbow on Aries for another close near fall. The piledriver is countered with a low dropkick to Young’s face and everyone is down. Young and Aries slug it out but both guys miss forearms. Aries hits some discus forearms and the corner dropkick but walks into the piledriver to retain Eric’s title at 12:10.

Rating: B-. This got better near the end but Eric keeping the title made me roll my eyes. The reign has been far better than I expected it to be but he needs to be the focal point of the company instead of the other guy in the major feuds. To be fair though, I’d assume MVP was supposed to take the title tonight before the injuries.

In some actual storyline development, James Storm watches Veera train and looks impressed. He promises to take care of Veera and then attacks him.

We recap the Beautiful People reuniting and then going to war with Madison Rayne.

From Sacrifice 2014.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is defending and quickly knocks Angelina out to the floor with a shoulder. Angelina has a meeting with Velvet Sky and comes back in for a headlock and shoulder of her own. Madison takes her down with a nice trip but can’t use the headscissors face slam into the mat. Instead it’s a baseball slide to send Love back to the floor but she sends a following Rayne face first into the apron.

Back inside and the Beautiful People take turns choking on the ropes and in the corner to little avail. Madison gets a quick sunset flip for two but gets sent to the floor where she beats on Velvet a bit. Back in and the challenger puts on a figure four with her legs in a nice touch. An enziguri puts Love down again though and now the face slam works.

Velvet tries to help her friend but the champ dives on both of them in an awesome visual. They head inside again and it’s the Rayne Drop for two. Angelina’s Botox Injection (Brogue Kick) gets the same and the fit is thrown. Madison comes back with a spear but Velvet sprays her in the eyes with hairspray, allowing Love to roll Rayne up with a handful of tights for the pin and the title at 8:15.

Rating: C-. It’s a Knockouts match so you’ve seen the whole thing before at least a few times. Angelina winning the title again makes sense in storyline terms but it’s still nothing new. I don’t really care about the Beautiful People reunion as it feels like we’ve traveled back in time instead of doing something that might get people to care. That almost never works in wrestling, at least when the past act is the focus.

From Slammiversary 2014.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik

Sanada is defending and this is a ladder match. Also keep in mind that Destination X and Option C are coming up soon. Manik dives through the ropes to take out Sanada before the bell. The Wolves follow suit with stereo suicide dives and Steve has apparently knocked Tigre Uno down. Steve gets a ladder from under the ring and uses it to climb back to the apron. Tigre dropkicks him down and mostly misses a corkscrew dive to take everyone out.

Sanada and Manik fight over a ladder in the ring with the champion taking over via a springboard chop to the head. Tigre replaces Manik and kicks Sanada in the back of the head but the Wolves double team him into a German suplex onto the ladder in the corner. Edwards throws in a fresh ladder but Manik dropkicks both of them down. Steve (very popular tonight) comes in for the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot, taking down everyone that comes into the ring.

Manik makes a save but Steve shoves the ladder over, only to have Manik land on the top rope and dive out to knock out the Wolves. Steve goes up again and touches the belt but of course loses his hand eye coordination since this is a ladder match, allowing Sanada to make the save. The ladder is busted so Sanada slams Steve onto it to set up the moonsault. The fans think this is awesome as Tigre enziguris Sanada off a better ladder.

Tigre wedges the broken ladder into the standing one to form a bridge, but the Wolves catch him in a powerbomb/top rope Backstabber combo. The Wolves both go after the belt but Sanada makes the save. Edwards Sanada clothesline each other to the floor and Eddie crashes into the barricade, leaving Davey on top. Manik makes the save and powerbombs Davey onto the bridged ladder in a SCARY landing. Sanada climbs up to retain at 9:40 before someone dies.

Rating: B-. The match was fun but some of those spots looked too dangerous for my taste. Richards getting powerbombed was way too scary looking and I didn’t like how he landed. Hopefully everyone is fine, but I question having people go through a match like this without even giving the match hype on TV.

Storm tells Mania to throw Veera into something with just enough water to survive. He gives Manik what looks like a paper to give Veera when he wakes up. Storm leaves and Manik tells Veera that it’s going to be ok before closing a door.

We see the ending of the Von Erich’s match at Slammiversary.

From June 19, 2014.

TNA World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young

Young is on his own while King and MVP are in Lashley’s corner. A clothesline puts Lashley to the floor and a big cross body off the top puts Lashley down again. Back in and Eric’s cross body is caught in mid air but he rolls Lashley up for two. A HUGE backdrop puts the champion down again and Eric is sent to the floor. Back from a break with Eric in trouble and getting suplexed down with one arm.

The champion makes his comeback and gets two off his third cross body of the match. Lashley stomps him in the corner but misses a charge, only to come back with a kick to the ribs. Eric nails the piledriver out of nowhere but King pulls the referee out at two. Lashley nails Kenny by mistake and Eric hits a quick DDT. The top rope elbow misses though and Lashley spears him down for the pin and the title at 8:45.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash for Lashley and WHY DID THIS NOT HAPPEN ON SUNDAY? I’m sure there’s some reason for it but given that it’s TNA I doubt they can explain it to you. Thankfully Young doesn’t come off as a worthless champion, but he’s only a step above transitional.

We look at MVP being stripped of power and attacked by Roode. Kurt Angle replaced him as boss and asked Willow to bring Jeff Hardy back. Willow agreed and performed as Jeff Hardy later in the night.

We see the end of the battle royal from the same night with Hardy winning a World Title shot.

From July 17, 2014.

TNA World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Jeff Hardy

Lashley is defending. Hardy tries to hammer away to start but realizes he has to speed things up. He sends Lashley out to the floor and hits a big dive, only to have Lashley trip him up on the steps and send Jeff face first into the steel as we take a break. Back with Lashley in control and choking Jeff on the middle rope. He puts Hardy in a torture rack but some right hands get Jeff free.

A running forearm drops Lashley and a dropkick does the same as the fans chant for CM Punk. Hardy’s headscissors out of the corner is caught in the powerslam but Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner and Twist of Fate. The Swanton get two and Jeff takes it back to the floor and rams Lashley’s head into the steps. Hardy goes up for a Swanton to the floor but lands on the steps. Jeff is done and the spear retains Lashley’s title at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This was a win that Lashley needed to get as Jeff Hardy is the guy that is always hanging around the main event and could take the title at any time. They’re actually building Lashley up as a major force and he’s coming off like a monster instead of a guy just keeping the title warm for MVP. That Swanton the steps was insane too.

We’re off the air at 10:58.

Overall Rating: C-. This special showed me one major thing: TNA really wasn’t all that memorable in 2014. There’s a part 2 next week though and I’m sure it’s going to focus on the tag team series which really was excellent stuff. One thing here stood out to me more than anything else though. On and off throughout the show, the dates on the graphics were wrong.

I know it’s rather minor, but think about this for a second: this is a best of show, meaning they had all of five minutes of new material to shoot and they get something as simple as a date wrong? They had to find the footage for the matches, so you would think the dates would be RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM, but somehow they got them wrong anyway. The worst part though: it wouldn’t have felt right if TNA didn’t have a mistake like that somewhere. It’s the perfect way to sum them up: the wrestling isn’t bad, the action is entertaining for the most part, but the people working behind the scenes are incompetent.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Today is Orlando Jordan. Let’s get this over with.

Allegedly Jordan got started in 1999 but I can’t find anything on him until 2002 in OVW. However we’ll start on Smackdown, July 31, 2003.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Cena is still heel here and raps about almost beating Undertaker at Vengeance recently. He even makes gay jokes about Undertaker and Jordan, which would be far more interesting later on. Jordan charges the ring and blasts Cena in the face to take over early. John will have none of that though and chokes Jordan down onto the mat. He goes after Jordan’s ribs and just grabs his face to block a sunset flip. Jordan fights out of the corner with right hands but walks into the FU for the pin.

Jordan would become JBL’s Chief of Staff in 2004, earning him this match on August 12, 2004.

Undertaker vs. Orlando Jordan

That’s not a bad way to start a second hour. The big man dominates to start with shoulders and a backdrop. Old School is countered with rights and lefts in the corner but Undertaker hammers away, knocking Jordan senseless. Undertaker avoids a charge in the corner and nails the chokeslam but JBL offers a distraction. That’s fine with Taker as Old School plants Jordan again.

A running DDT gets two on Orlando but he slips out of a tombstone attempt and hits Undertaker low. They head outside with Orlando managing to whip Undertaker into the steps. Back in and Jordan hammers away with more punches (actually fits because he used to be a boxer) but Undertaker nails him and loads up the tombstone, only to get nailed by the Clothesline From JBL for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Shockingly good match here with both guys working hard, even though the match was short. Jordan would of course never amount to anything while Undertaker was still getting his wheels back under him after becoming the Dead Man again. Not a great match or anything but it was a big surprise.

JBL would enter his last feud as champion against John Cena. As a loyal minion, Jordan took Cena on in a US Title match on Smackdown, March 3, 2005.

US Title: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Champion Cena powers him down for two to start and a release fisherman’s suplex gets the same. A big side slam sets up the Shuffle and Jordan is in big trouble. Orlando bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with a hiptoss putting Jordan down for another two before we hit the chinlock. Jordan’s cross body is countered into a slam for three straight near falls as this has been one sided. John stomps him down in the corner and we’re back in the chinlock.

Orlando FINALLY goes to the eyes to get a breather and a rollup with feet on the ropes gets two. Cena rolls through a high cross body for about the tenth near fall of the match. Ten right hands in the corner have Jordan in even more trouble but he comes out with a powerbomb. The amateur boxer (Jordan) hammers away even more and now it’s the champ in a chinlock. A legdrop gets two on Cena and we’re right back to the chinlock. Cena fights out but walks into a powerslam for two.

Back up again and Cena hits a flying shoulder but misses the second to put both guys down. Jordan is up first and grabs Cena’s chain, only to have Cena throw it out to the floor. The Throwback (a running flip faceplant) gets two more on Jordan and there’s the ProtoBomb. There’s the FU but the Bashams (more JBL lackeys) run in for a distraction, allowing JBL to grab the title belt. JBL clocks Cena upside the head and Jordan has the biggest upset in like, ever.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t great but they had to get the title off Cena somehow so they could head to the big moment at Wrestlemania. At the end of the day though, it’s Orlando Jordan pinning John Cena for a title. There’s no real way this can be right. The match was a lot of Cena dominating before Jordan got in some actually decent power stuff.

Here’s a title defense at Judgment Day 2005.

US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Heidenreich

Jordan got the US Title in JBL’s Cabinet from Cena and just kind of kept it. He was never anything special at all but he kept it for like 6 months. For those of you that haven’t seen Heidenreich, he’s uh…..different. And remember who he’s in there against when I say that. First up though, he needs to find a friend.

This was his thing at the time: he would pick a kid out of the audience to be his friend and would read them a poem. He chants WHERE’S MY FRIEND as he looks around for one. The girl is named Alex and she’s like 10. She can’t say the word Minneapolis. She’s REALLY excited about being sat in a chair and having a big tattooed man read her a poem. Also, chant and champ do not rhyme. This is one of those characters we would describe as out there.

Oh hey we have a match now. Cole talks about the Preakness winner being named Alex like the girl. That’s a very stupid man. Heidenreich beat Jordan on Smackdown to set this up. Belly to belly suplex gets two for Heidenreich. Out to the floor and they slug it out a bit. When Heidenreich hits him you can hear him say POW. I’m not sure if I should make fun of this or not. He might ask me to go get an espresso.

The fans chant Buckwheat Sucks which is rather appropriate for Jordan. You figure out what I mean by that. Heidenreich does his walk (don’t ask) and hammers away. Big boot gets two. Jordan gets a swinging neckbreaker for two as Alex is panicking. Jordan gets his WEAK DDT to end this abruptly.

Rating: D-. No idea why they thought Jordan should be champion but somehow he’s the best option here. Jordan was really bad at what he did and yet he kept winning for no apparent reason. Benoit beat him in like 30 seconds at Summerslam which was a breath of fresh air to everyone.

Another at Great American Bash 2005.

US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Jordan is champion and has been since March, beating Cena for the title. Yes, this guy kept the title like six months for absolutely no apparent reason. He has stupid looking puffed up hair here too. Benoit hammers him down to start as Orlando isn’t all that talented. Jordan tries to kick him in the knee and Benoit just chops him down. The champ tries working on the arm but Benoit leg drags him down and we go to the floor.

Benoit goes into the post and Jordan takes the buckle off. That lets the Canadian hit a German on the American to take over. There was no story to this other than Benoit beat Booker to get this shot. Jordan works on the neck for a second and then fires off punches. He used to be a boxer apparently. Ok so now Jordan is on the arm. PICK A BODY PART AND STICK WITH IT!!!

A dropkick puts Benoit down which Tazz tries to pass off as a big impressive move. Back to the arm and this match needs to end already. I’ve been thinking that a lot in this show. Benoit grabs a Sharpshooter attempt to try to get something going but Jordan would rather bore us to death. Jordan hooks something like a crossface chickenwing and then off to the neck because he worked on it for a few seconds earlier.

Jordan goes up but Benoit chops him down and hits a superplex off the top to put both guys down. Another Sharpshooter attempt fails but here are the Rolling Germans. I’m still not sure what popping your hips means. Swan dive gets two after a delay. Benoit chops away but Orlando’s head smacks into Benoit’s to put Chris down. Jordan finishes taking the pad off the buckle and a charging Benoit hits that for the pin to keep the title on Jordan. Yes they really did this. Benoit would win it at Summerslam in like 30 seconds.

Rating: D. Again the problem here is that Jordan is just boring. He’s as generic as anyone could ask for and I don’t think he had an actual finishing move. He might have used a DDT once in awhile. Imagine Honky Tonk Man’s offense, minus anything resembling charisma or ability in the ring. And he held the title for SIX MONTHS!

Benoit had another shot in the opening match at Summerslam 2005.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan, the most worthless wrestler I can think of at the moment, is defending. He took the title from Cena of all people and defended it over the course of the summer. In some of the smartest booking you’ll ever see to open a show, Benoit shoves him into the corner, snaps off a German suplex and puts Jordan in the Crossface for the submission and the title in 25 seconds.

When a guy is so bad that you can’t trust Chris Benoit with him on live TV, this is the right move. Benoit would go on to show how fast the match was by timing how long it took him to do things like go to the bathroom or have a cup of coffee, each of which lasted longer than the match. Brilliant stuff here and the crowd is instantly on fire.

Here’s the rematch at No Mercy 2005.

US Title: Booker T vs. Christian vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending, Booker gets a big pop as the hometown guy and this is one fall to a finish. Benoit beat Jordan in like 25 seconds at Summerslam to win the title. Why he’s in this match is beyond me. Jordan goes after Benoit and takes him down so the heels (Christian/Jordan) can double team Booker. Booker knocks Christian to the floor and kicks Jordan down but Christian pulls him to the outside.

Benoit pops up out of nowhere with a Crossface on Jordan but Christian saves. With Booker on the floor, Benoit cleans house on the other two. Suplexes all around and Christian is put in a quickly broken up Sharpshooter. Booker comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take Christian down as it’s his turn to be in control. Jordan and Christian are knocked to the floor so we get a staredown between Booker and Benoit.

They don’t really do much though as Christian comes in and is suplexed over the top with ease. Benoit goes to the floor to fight his fellow Canadian as Booker and Jordan clothesline each other down. Christian breaks up the Swan Dive by fighting Benoit on the top. Jordan is whipped into them and the Canadians hit the floor. Booker rolls up Jordan for a VERY close two. Benoit comes back in and walks into a side kick.

Cole reminds us that everyone is legal at the same time. Thanks Cole. The first seven minutes of this match didn’t tell me that. Axe kick gets two on Jordan. Christian throws Benoit into Booker to knock Booker to the floor but Christian can’t hit the Unprettier on Benoit. Benoit tries Rolling Germans but Orlando breaks it up.

Orlando is thrown out onto Booker, leaving the Canadians in the ring. After four Germans Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Christian tries a rollup but Benoit reverses into the Crossface. Orlando seems to miss his cue on the save as he takes forever. Jordan is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter makes Christian tap.

Rating: C. This seems like a match that belonged on a house show. It wasn’t that bad but I don’t think anyone was really expecting a new champion here. Benoit was on a roll at this point and would hold the title for about six more months. It’s not a bad match but it was more of a Benoit showcase than a competitive match.

Jordan wouldn’t do much until he was released in the middle of 2006. After spending 2007 in Japan and the first half of 2008 in Europe, he somehow had this match for the NWA World Title in Spain on June 25, 2008.

NWE Championship: Orlando Jordan vs. Ultimate Warrior

It’s more of an awkward looking jog than a run. Orlando jumps Warrior during the rope shaking and hammers away in the corner, only to have the painted one comeback with kicks and chops. A backdrop puts Jordan down and he bails to the floor. Warrior’s paint is already peeling off. Back in and Orlando gets in a few shots, only to be rammed into the corner. A running clothesline puts the champion on the floor again and Warrior hammers on his own chest a bit.

Orlando stalls on the floor for a long time before coming back in to trade some hammerlocks. Jordan can’t keep a rear waistlock on for very long as Warrior powers into one of his own. They hit the mat for a bit as the match is quickly breaking down. Another backdrop puts Jordan outside and Warrior is clearly gassed. He follows Orlando outside and they fight in the confetti with Jordan in control.

Back in and Jordan mocks the chest beating, only to get taken down by a shoulder block. A powerslam gets two and a superplex to Jordan brings both guys down to the mat. Orlando is up first but Warrior starts shaking the ropes and hits the clotheslines. Warrior actually goes up for a nice cross body but the splash hits knees. He pops right back up though and hits some clotheslines and a bad shoulder for the pin and the title. No slam or splash?

Rating: D. This just wasn’t very good. I have no idea who thought giving this match 17 minutes was a good idea when Warrior barely made it through 14 minutes back in 1998. There was a lot of standing around but it didn’t really help. Warrior was clearly out of energy about five minutes in and it was becoming more sad than anything else.

Jordan would get signed by TNA because they would take anyone at the time. Here he is with a title shot at Sacrifice 2010.

Global Title: Rob Terry vs. Orlando Jordan

We’re told that Terry has never turned down a title defense. What has he had? Two of them? They call this a battle of the freaks. Ok then. Jordan is lowered from the ceiling into the ring. Taz says it’s better than walking to the ring with a black towel on your head. Ok that was a funny line. Terry is called the Global Champion of the World.

So don’t pay attention to that Venezuelan Global Champion. He’s got JACK on Terry. Terry has come a long way in the last few months. Who would believe him having passable matches (given who he is) a few months ago? They list off the people he’s defended against. Wow they sound pitiful. This has been all Terry here. Jordan goes for the knee which makes a bit of sense I suppose.

Jordan can’t even drop a knee properly. That’s hard to do. It truly is. Oh and the flamboyant and bizarre guy is wearing gold. Nothing stolen there at all. The fans thing Terry Wants It apparently. WOW I want to smack those people. And there’s the spinebuster (Not calling it the Freakbuster or whatever Tenay called it) for the pin. That came out of nowhere. I SAID IT FIRST TAZ! SHUT UP!

Rating: D. Why in the world do these two get a decent amount of time on PPV? Again, Jordan is shock value for the sake of shock value. I defy anyone to say he’s valuable to the company or worth any kind of money he gets. What has he ever won that anyone (who doesn’t read my stuff) going to remember?

Here he is at Bound For Glory 2010 in a COMEDY team.

Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. Ink Inc.

Ink Inc. is a tattooed team comprised of Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal. This is the result of an Xplosion match and Eric is carrying a rulebook and has drawn on tattoos for some reason. Oh this is during Young’s latest crazy period. Jordan and Jesse get things going but Young quickly puts the referee on the apron and takes his place. Things settle down and Jesse gets two off a spinning cross body and it’s off to Shannon for a kick to the face and two.

Young comes in and gets rolled up for two so he congratulates Shannon for his success. He high fives everyone, including a tag to Jordan. Ink Inc. kicks Jordan in the corner and Eric wants to join in, only to get crotched on the top rope. Jordan gets crotched right along with him as comedy abounds. Back in and Orlando grinds on Shannon before planting him with a spinebuster. The fans want Eric but get a Jordan suplex for two on Moore.

Young breaks up Jordan’s cheating to give Moore another two count and now Orlando doesn’t want to tag. Instead Jordan nails Jesse and holds Moore open for a cheap shot but Eric goes over and takes Jesse’s place on the apron. Moore tags Eric in because why not and Young cleans house on Jordan. In the confusing, Shannon loads Jordan up in a fireman’s carry so Neal can hit a top rope neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. If you like Eric Young’s comedy, this was gold. If you’re like me and he makes you want to pound a rusty spike into your eye, this was the longest eight and a half minutes of your life. I will however give him this: at least this was something different than the same four things he would do for years on end.

Here’s a four way for the sake of a four way on Impact, April 14, 2011.

Jesse Neal vs. Douglas Williams vs. Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan

Winner gets….a win I guess. All of the partners are at ringside and Moore gets after Steiner. Orlando looks to be in a purple dress for lack of a better term. Neal vs. Williams to start but the British dude tags in Jordan quickly. Side slam gets two and it’s off to Crimson vs. Neal. T–Bone suplex gets two but Neal hits his spear on Crimson. Moore keeps making fun of Steiner and distracting Neal. Moore finally pushes him and the fight is on. Steiner goes out to help him so we’re down to a three way.

Crimson goes off to help but here’s Abyss to jump Crimson. Magnus and Young fight on the floor as Abyss rips up the railing. Chokeslam onto the guardrail leaves Crimson laying as the match is down to Jordan vs. Williams for all intents and purposes. Jordan grinds on Williams and gets a clothesline for two. Young and Magnus come in which goes nowhere as Jordan hits something like Cross Rhodes (called the Gender Bender) to end it at 3:35.

Rating: D. Considering the fact that about seventy five percent of this match was spent on the stuff outside and what you saw in the ring was nothing special at all, what are you supposed to say here? Weak match to build to a match that really shouldn’t be in a cage. It’s always a problem with Lockdown but rarely a big one. Weak match though.

We’ll wrap it up with Jordan’s last major match to date at Lockdown 2011.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal. I think this is one fall to a finish. Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning. Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff. Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly. Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up. Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again. The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two. Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough. Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either. After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar. Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around. He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys. Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in. He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner. Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights. And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t–bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again. Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win. I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR! Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute. The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd. Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best. Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

At the end of the day, Orlando Jordan just isn’t that good. His in ring work wasn’t very good, his character was a disaster, his feuds are forgettable and there’s nothing about him worth remembering. There are definitely worse guys out there, but his stuff in TNA was just so ridiculous that it drags a relatively average guy through the floor.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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