Smackdown
Date: January 14, 2016
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to the Royal Rumble and now it’s clear that Brock Lesnar is going to be in the match itself, making it even harder for Roman Reigns to hold on to the WWE World Title. As for tonight though, we have Alberto Del Rio getting his rematch for the US Title after losing the title to Kalisto earlier in the week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Renee Young is outside waiting on Dean Ambrose to arrive. As luck would have it, Dean arrives in a black truck just as Renee says she’ll keep us posted. Dean says he has a statement to make regarding Kevin Owens but he’d rather make it in the ring. Therefore, here’s Dean in the arena to really get things going. Before he can say anything, we see a clip of Ambrose busting Sheamus open on Monday and getting in another brawl with Owens.

Dean says it’s time to put the kids to bed and pop some cheap champagne because he has an announcement. He asks for and receives a drum roll (“Wow that actually works?”) but says cut because he needs Owens out here for this one. No Owens, so Dean asks for another drum roll and challenges Owens to a last man standing match for the title at the Rumble.

This brings out Sheamus instead, who says Owens is way more tanned than he is. Ambrose is starting to get on Sheamus’ nerves because Dean is living in a fantasy world right now. That earns Sheamus a joke about his hair but Sheamus would rather talk about losing the World Title to Reigns.

To get the title back, Sheamus has to win the Royal Rumble and that’s not to his liking. He also doesn’t like the stitches in his head so he wants to pay Dean back. Dean offers to beat on Sheamus until he cries but here’s Owens to interrupt. Owens likes these odds but is out here to accept Dean’s challenge. As for now though, the beatdown is on until Neville (Dean’s partner tonight) comes out for the save.

Dudley Boyz vs. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan

Tables match because this feud is being picked back up for some reason. This is also the first of three matches in a triple main event. The Wyatts appear out of the darkness and jump Bubba and D-Von from behind as Strowman watches from the floor. D-Von is sent outside and it’s Bubba getting double teamed, only to have Rowan get backdropped out to the floor. There’s a What’s Up to Harper and it’s table time less than two minutes in. Well they’re certainly keeping things moving.

Harper pops back up though and decks D-Von, allowing Rowan to kick Bubba in the face as we take a break. Back with Rowan having issues setting up a table in the ring, allowing Bubba to save D-Von from a double suplex. The reverse 3D drops Harper and it’s time to beat on Rowan with a kendo stick. Strowman comes in and misses a charge into the post, followed by Harper being knocked off the steps and through a table at 8:35.

Rating: D. Huh? What was the thinking here? You go back to a feud that the Wyatts clearly won and then have them lose the nothing match? Also why in the world was this a tables match? If you want to have Harper and Rowan lose then let one of them take a 3D. I mean, Rowan loses almost every match he has to begin with so is another loss going to hurt him? This was just strange all around.

Post match, Strowman gets up and starts wrecking things before putting D-Von through two tables in the corner. Harper beats on Bubba at ringside before a double chokeslam puts Bubba through two tables as well. This is the same thinking that they used with having Owens lose to Neville in thirty seconds and then beat him up after the match. Why not just have them win in the first place and then do the beatdown to make them look even more awesome? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

We look back at Kalisto winning the US Title on Monday.

Kalisto talks about losing hope during his training. Then he saw people like Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio to give him hope for his career. I’m sure the fact that he doesn’t have a name plate on the belt is nothing to worry about.

Social Outcasts vs. Goldust/Damien Sandow/Jack Swagger/Zack Ryder

Slater is sent to the floor by Sandow to start and takes half a victory lap before they’re stopped by their opponents. Back in and Axel takes over on Goldust before Rose comes in for two off an elbow. Goldust kicks him in the face though and it’s a double tag to Swagger vs. Dallas. The Vader Bomb into the Patriot Lock has Bo in trouble but Axel makes a save. It’s off to Ryder for his usual on Dallas including the Broski Boot for two. Rose offers another quick distraction though and the Bodog puts Ryder away at 3:41.

Rating: D+. This did its job though I have no idea how they’re going to go anywhere with the Outcasts. You have to give them a few early wins to make the team mean something though and I’m sure this is going to be one of their biggest ever. It’s better than having them sit around doing nothing and wasting away though so this was fine.

We look at Cena having shoulder surgery.

Long recap of Reigns vs. All on Monday, including Lesnar coming out to destroy him. You would think that’s Wrestlemania but for some reason I’m not sure yet.

Alberto promises to get his title back tonight.

US Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Kalisto is defending and has new black tights. This is the second match in the triple main event. Del Rio runs him over to start and rains down right hands in the corner before a belly to back gets two. It’s already time to go for the mask as Ranallo talks about Del Rio being on the first Pride card that he ever called in Japan. Kalisto knocks Del Rio off the top and scores with a missile dropkick, only to have Del Rio kick him away for two more.

Del Rio is getting a bit cocky in his aggressiveness though, allowing Kalisto to hurricanrana him shoulder first into the post. That still can’t keep him in control though as Del Rio comes back with a Codebreaker to the arm off the middle rope to send Kalisto outside. The bad arm is sent into the steps for two and we hit the armbar. Lawler is actually coming off like a heel here as he keeps making short jokes about Kalisto and laughing at his pain.

Del Rio sends the good arm into the post and avoids a charge to send it in again as we take a break. Back with King Barrett at ringside as Kalisto is tied in the Tree of Woe for kicks to the ribs. The top rope double stomp is broken up with a kick to the ribs though and Kalisto takes him down with a super hurricanrana. I’m so glad someone is starting to counter that stupid move. It really shouldn’t be that hard.

Kalisto still can’t speed things up though as he misses the corkscrew cross body, setting up the low superkick for two. So Kalisto’s head is tougher than Cena’s? It must be the mask. A quick hurricanrana and the hurricanrana driver get two for the champ but Del Rio drops him AGAIN. Alberto talks trash until Kalisto jumps up for a jawbreaker, followed by a snap enziguri.

The Salida Del Sol is broken up by a Barrett distraction and the cross armbreaker goes on (I didn’t know Del Rio still used that). Kalisto finally makes the rope and tries to speed things up again as he sends Del Rio outside. Barrett pulls Del Rio away from a suicide dive though and now the armbreaker gives Alberto the title back at 15:03.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Del Rio barely being on defense for the entire match. Kalisto was cut off at every turn and didn’t even have control at the beginning. The help from Barrett will ensure another match at the Rumble (instead of just having Kalisto win the title there for a bigger moment) but I have a bad feeling we’ll be stuck with Del Rio as champion after that as well because WWE sees something in keeping him as a really boring heel.

Sting Hall of Fame video.

Becky Lynch looks at a video of her recent feud with Charlotte, including her jumping Charlotte on Monday. Charlotte’s recent actions really got to Becky but Monday’s attack makes her want a match for the title at the Rumble. She doesn’t care how many Flairs are around because there will be a lass kicking.

Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella

Brie isn’t happy after Becky broke up her match on Monday and talks trash as she sends Becky face first into the mat. Some elbows to the head set up a chinlock before Brie fires off kicks in the corner. Becky ducks a big one though and runs Brie over before throwing her down with a t-bone suplex. The Bella Buster is countered and the Disarm-Her puts Brie away at 2:33.

Sheamus/Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose/Neville

Here’s the final part of the triple main event, meaning over half of the matches on this show were main events. Sheamus and Neville get things going with the big man being taken down off a hurricanrana. Dean comes in for an Arn Anderson eye rake across the top rope and a clothesline to put Sheamus on the floor. A plancha takes out Owens but Sheamus clotheslines Dean as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose getting choked on the ropes before Sheamus drops a knee for two. Dean finally dives over for a tag off to Neville and things speed up. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t really pick up as Neville can’t German suplex Owens. It’s back to Sheamus who charges into a superkick, only to have Owens break up a shooting star. Owens: “I won’t do it again ref!” Kevin starts yelling at Ranallo (initiation I guess) as Lawler keeps heeling it up with jokes about Neville’s ears.

Sheamus grabs a chinlock because we’re at the point in a WWE tag match where a heel puts on a chinlock. Owens comes in for a chinlock of his own, though at least his has some more pizazz. A suplex sends Neville flying into the corner but he snaps off the German to avoid the Cannonball. Ambrose comes in for his usual, including the tornado DDT on Sheamus.

The top rope standing elbow gets two and everything breaks down. Owens kicks Dean to break up the rebound lariat, setting up White Noise for two more. The Pop Up Powerbomb doesn’t work so Dean suicide dives Owens. Sheamus is back up though, allowing Owens to take the cover off the announcers’ table and blast Dean with it for the DQ at 13:30.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This was every average Smackdown main event that you’ve seen in recent months and that’s not a good thing. It wasn’t bad but it’s just another match that doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t change anything, and just makes me wish that it was time for the Rumble already when a match might be important.

Neville breaks up a powerbomb through the table and Dirty Deeds plants Owens back inside. Owens takes a Red Arrow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It says a lot when a show with a title change can feel this insignificant. I know last week’s show was a big deal but this was right back where we were before Smackdown changed networks, which means Thursdays are going to feel very long all over again. Kalisto losing was deflating and I’m having issues buying him as a threat to get the title back. This wasn’t a bad show but it was mostly uninteresting or unimportant, which is all Smackdown seems to be 90% of the time.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan – Harper was knocked through a table

Social Outcasts b. Goldust/Jack Swagger/Adam Rose/Zack Ryder – Bodog to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Kalisto – Cross armbreaker

Becky Lynch b. Brie Bella – Disarm-Her

Neville/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Someone.Named Chris Jericho.  That’s not Rowan or Kane so I’m happy.

Mild spoiler from Smackdown but it’s not that big of a deal.  Now this is an interesting one.I REALLY like this idea as it’s exactly what the title has been missing.  Booking a title strong is really one of the most basic ideas in wrestling: make it look valuable.  Seriously that’s about it.  If Cena has a line of people waiting to challenge him for the title, it instantly becomes something of value and therefore better than it was before.  The matches are almost guaranteed to be entertaining and a pretty high quality with Cena out there as well.

The other major perk of this is it can elevate people by just having them rub elbows with Cena.  Remember when Sandow cashed in his briefcase and had the best match of his career?  Imagine that from Fandango, R-Truth, Jack Swagger, Neville, Erick Rowan, Adam Rose, Titus O’Neal and I think you get the point.  Wrestling John Cena is instantly going to make people better, much like wrestling Undertaker at Wrestlemania.  No they aren’t likely to win, but it makes for an entertaining match and gives them a big rub.

I completely approve of this and the longer it lasts the better.

So with this show, we had a meaningless show with a main event that no one wanted to see and a bunch of matches in the midcard that are there to set up future rematches, and it’s all free on the WWE Network, making it harder for me to complain about it? What a confusing show I’ve wondered into. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show segment was an interview instead of a match, because somehow the roster is thin enough that they have to have a talking segment on the pay per view and no match to warm the crowd up. Heyman was a bit weak as he said whoever wins between Bryan and Reigns will be the ultimate loser, but he got the point across well enough. The entertaining part though was Mizdow standing up to Miz for a few seconds when Miz told him to face the corner. This is a slow burn, but it would have been a lot better if they had just let Mizdow win a few more matches before the showdown. This was storyline development and that’s fine.

On a side note, why do we need a car themed show? We’ve already had Over the Limit which went nowhere. What is this obsession with cars? Did Thruman Sparky Plugg start a cult to get revenge for being named Thurman?

The Authority beat Ziggler/Ryback/Rowan with Big Show knocking Ziggler out cold to give Kane the pin. This booking has gone beyond the idea of coincidence and has reached the point of WHAT ARE THEY THINKING. Rollins isn’t even involved in the pin and you have to give the loss to Ziggler instead of the already destroyed Rowan? I get the idea that guys like Ziggler are so over that they stay hot despite these losses, but there comes a point where he stops being over and starts being a loser.

On top of that, we still have Kane and Big Show being treated like the second coming of the Mega Powers where no one can ever make them look bad whatsoever, but in this case we’ve seen the match for fifteen years and I still haven’t seen them entertain me. There’s a place for those two on the roster but it’s putting people over in the midcard, not hogging near main event spots and even winning matches there.

You build up monsters to have someone beat them. That’s exactly what happened, but then the monsters just stick around instead of going away for awhile. For some reason, these things just keep happening over and over and it stopped being interesting twelve years ago. I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but somehow it’s reality.

That being said, at least the match was entertaining enough. It makes sense for them to have this match down as they’ve done variations of it on Raw and Smackdown for months now, because THIS STORY WILL NOT END. I know I’ve harped on this for months, but my goodness it’s been going on for months on end now with no ending in sight. Stop tormenting the guys for their Survivor Series actions and move on to ANYTHING else.

Orton ran out post match and cleaned house. It’s about time, especially considering he was crazed enough to stand in the back for fifteen minutes before attacking his hated enemy.

Goldust and Dusty Rhodes had a great exchange with Goldust saying he had to beat Stardust so badly that it brought him back to reality as Cody. Dusty didn’t want it to be that bad but Goldust said there was no other way. As usual, the old guys can talk better than almost anyone today.

However, the match was a pretty bad opposite. The idea was neither guy wanted to do this, but that doesn’t make sense. Goldust may not want to do this but he said he had to, and Stardust has shown no issue with attacking his brother over the last few weeks. It made the whole match feel way off and didn’t accomplish anything they were shooting for. Either have them fight or don’t set up the story so they should be fighting. Goldust won with a crucifix on what looked to be a botched finish. Stardust attacked his brother in the back after the match and blamed Dusty for their issues.

We got a package on Jon Stewart vs. Seth Rollins. See, THIS is a good celebrity appearance. It’s so annoying seeing C and D list celebrities shoved into the shows to try and make WWE look important. That idea stops working when you have to remind us who the celebrity is and why they’re famous. Stewart is one of the top stars in TV today and has a huge following. It makes for some interesting TV, but the timing isn’t great as Wrestlemania is coming up soon. That being said, you can’t really wait when something like this happens, even though WWE likes to drag their feet for months at a time.

Cesaro and Tyson Kidd won the Tag Team Titles from the Usos in a good match that we’ve seen far too many times before. I’m happy with the results though as the Usos can win the belts back whenever and don’t need to change anything about their act. Kidd and Cesaro have worked hard over the last year and more than deserve some recognition.

HHH called out Sting and gave one heck of a promo, walking around Sting and talking about how this is about WCW vs. WWE. I get the idea behind it, but HHH saying he was one of the main reasons WWE won the Monday Night Wars is pretty laughable. That being said, there’s a much bigger issue for WWE here. What are they supposed to do at Wrestlemania? I can’t imagine the WCW guy winning the match, but how in the world do you bring in Sting and have him lose? Doesn’t that defeat the entire point of having him show up? However, the ball bat vs. the sledgehammer was perfect and got a big smile from me.

Paige lost to Nikki Bella in the Divas Title match. This was about what I expected with Nikki grabbing the trunks to retain the title. I know the big idea right now is GIVE DIVAS A CHANCE, but they had five and a half minutes here and I really don’t want to give them much more of a chance after this. The Bellas just aren’t that good in the ring but they’re the focus of the division because of Total Divas. Granted the lack of any interesting story here didn’t help them and Paige having as good of a chance as a snowman on Miami Beach made it even worse.

Bad News Barrett retained the Intercontinental Title via DQ when Ambrose stomped him a lot. The champ spent the entire match trying to run away, which felt WAY out of character for him. Granted it’s also out of character for him to win a match but that’s another story. This really didn’t help either guy as Dean blows what should be another layup and Barrett gets to look like a lame coward all over again. But hey, maybe they can have a rematch and make both guys look awful one more time, just on a bigger stage.

Bray Wyatt came out to Undertaker’s entrance, popped out of a coffin, and challenged Undertaker like everyone knew he would. They had to do this at some point and if they can kill off more time on a bad PPV, so be it.

Cena and Rusev had the match everyone thought they would have with Lana offering a distraction so Rusev could kick Cena low and make him pass out in the Accolade. If there’s one thing Cena can do well (and there are a lot more than that), it’s have the heavyweight slugfest. They did a good job of not having Cena hit the AA until the end, which made the impact a lot stronger. That and we didn’t have to see Rusev kick out of it three or four times as is the custom for Cena matches. Again this was to set up a rematch and there’s nothing wrong with that for the most part. If nothing else, it means looking at Lana some more.

Roman Reigns pinned Daniel Bryan clean in the main event with a spear. This was the match that they needed to have as Reigns goes over the only other person people wanted to see face Lesnar clean, basically giving him the big endorsement. Yeah people wanted to see Bryan, but Reigns hanging in there for nearly twenty minutes, kicking out of the running knee and getting the pin helped him quite a bit. It made him look like a warrior instead of someone being handed the spot and that’s exactly what he needed. At the end of the day, fans will always respond to good wrestling and that’s exactly what they got here.

Unfortunately, the last two matches being good to very good didn’t validate this show’s existence. No matter what they threw out there, this show didn’t need to happen. They would have been better off just setting up a nine week Wrestlemania build and doing these matches along the way to California. It’s a good enough show to pass, but there’s no need for it to be taking place and that outweighs whatever good wrestling they had on the show.

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Smackdown
Date: February 26, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

Wrestlemania is creeping up on us and you can see most of the card from here. The main story coming out of Monday was Randy Orton rejoining the Authority for about two and a half hours but ultimately turning back against them. For some reason he let Seth Rollins off easy, which likely won’t be addressed tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up. The fans chant YES but Bryan shouts NO for a change. That’s what he said a few years ago when he was frustrated at the lack of opportunities. He was wrong though, because the fans were in his corner. The fans gave him the opportunity to climb the ladder to the top and he won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of Wrestlemania XXX. He had to give it up due to injury, but then he had another chance to get it back at Fast Lane.

However, he failed and there’s no Wrestlemania main event this year. Without that motivation, does that mean the YES Movement is dead? NO it does not! He won’t back down because he has big plans this year. Before he can get those out though, here’s Bad News Barrett who has somehow gone a full three days since losing a match.

No one wants to hear Bryan’s sob story because losers like Bryan don’t deserve the spotlight. Neither does a thief like Dean Ambrose, so here’s Dean for the brawl. He and Barrett fight to the floor so Bryan picks up the Intercontinental Title. Barrett demands it back but Ambrose decks him from behind and takes the belt back. Daniel didn’t seem interested in the belt other than keeping it away from Barrett. Cole sounds like he’s begging us to believe that Barrett is still champion.

Dean Ambrose vs. Miz

Is he going to step on Miz’s sunglasses and break his foot this time? No Mizdow because he might be off shooting the commercial he mentioned on Raw. An early rollup gets two for Dean but he gets caught in a neckbreaker for the same. We’re already in the chinlock but Ambrose fights up with rights and lefts. Some running forearms drop Miz again but Barrett comes back out to steal the belt again. The distraction doesn’t work for once though as Dean hits Dirty Deeds for the pin on Miz at 2:47.

We look at stills of Orton returning on Sunday and video of the story with Rollins on Monday. Lawler tries to defend Orton’s lack of action by saying he was worried about Big Show and Kane. I’d be worried about them too if I wanted anyone to stay awake during my matches. Seriously even Bryan couldn’t survive a Kane feud.

After a break, Barrett can’t get Renee’s name right but says Ambrose and Bryan don’t deserve to touch this title.

Naomi vs. Natalya

Say it with me: this officially started on Total Divas, even though there’s been almost no animosity between them on that show. Somehow though, that’s better continuity than you usually get on the main shows. They run the ropes to start and Natalya drops down, only to get rolled up for two. A headscissors drops Natalya again and we hit a chinlock with Naomi using her legs instead of the arms. Both girls hit cross bodies and the guys get into it on the floor. The referee holds Naomi back from a downed Natalya, allowing the Canadian to hit the discus lariat for the pin at 2:48.

Here are the Russians to brag about their win on Sunday. Rusev says this is what a championship looks like and Lana walks us through some stills of Cena’s spirit being crushed over and over again. Lana says Rusev isn’t one to sleep on the job and brags about Putin sending them congratulatory emails. She even shows us one, of course in Russian, which probably has a very funny translation.

Rusev repeats that Cena gets no shot at Wrestlemania so he needs a new opponent. Cue Jack Swagger as we flash back to August. Jack says there’s no such thing as a scared US Champion and the fight is on. Just like happens every single time, Rusev survives a storm and superkicks Swagger into the Accolade. Was there NO ONE ELSE they could have used for this spot? Like……sweet goodness there really isn’t much of anyone is there? Is the roster really that thin? Or are the faces really that lame?

Bad News Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title of course, because even Bryan hasn’t fallen enough to want the Intercontinental Title. Barrett isn’t sure where to put the title. Byron Saxton introduces R-Truth on commentary. Truth: “COACH! I MISSED YOU!” Ok that was funny. Barrett shoves Bryan down to start but gets sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. The surfboard knee stomp sends Barrett back into the corner as Truth thinks a crumpet is a musical instrument.

More kicks stagger Barrett but the Winds of Change connect for two. Daniel bails to the floor as Truth keeps babbling about how he should be Intercontinental Champion. Back from a break with Barrett putting on a chinlock. I really do feel sorry for him. This is at least the second and probably third loser title reign for him and I don’t know what he does to deserve it.

Bryan fights up and hits more YES Kicks for two but Barrett avoids the running dropkick in the corner. The title was knocked to the floor and Barrett is distracted, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat. Truth: “Bryan looks like a chicken dipped in Rogaine.” How do you even respond to that? The YES Lock goes on and Truth sneaks over to the corner and steals the belt but gets back on commentary with the belt under his jacket. Bad News makes the ropes but turns around for the running knee and the pin at 10:31.

Rating: C-. This feud is turning into a battle over who can suck more than the other guy. Somehow though, Barrett is going to wind up leaving with the belt because that’s how WWE works. Then they’ll wonder why no one cares about Barrett, the title, or the losers in the match. Truth was funny on commentary but that doesn’t mean I want to see him in the ring. At least the title is getting some attention tonight though.

Barrett can’t find the title but Truth denies any involvement. This is somehow making Barrett come off like someone we should feel sorry for, because we’re supposed to feel sorry for someone who loses every match he has.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns from earlier today. Reigns praises Bryan for a hard fought match on Sunday and says Bryan knows what it takes to get where Reigns is going. We look at a clip of Heyman’s speech on Monday about how Reigns just can’t do it. Roman is tired of hearing about how he can’t do something and says he’ll have to train harder than ever before. Lesnar has been on this stage before but Reigns doesn’t have any experience at this level. He needs to talk to people in his family to see what it’s like to be there.

Reigns wants Lesnar to be bouncing around the ring and at his very best when he faces a man representing a proud family who is trying to make a better life for himself and his family. My goodness this guy is just not good at making me care about him. That’s the problem with him: he’s just ok at most things other than spearing people in half. He’s great as a heavyweight monster, but as a humanized character, he’s just stuck in the middle of the pack. Five minutes of him talking about what he needs to do didn’t make me care about him any more than I did in the first place, and I can’t imagine it getting better anytime soon.

Truth runs into Ambrose and says he beat Barrett for the title. Ambrose says he’s coming for the belt so Truth just hands it to him. Cole: “HAHAHAHA!” And that sums up the whole thing better than I ever could.

Fandango vs. Curtis Axel

Axel shows us a clock which has him in the Royal Rumble for 32 hours, giving Cole and Lawler something else to laugh about. Fandango jumps him to start so Axel throws him over the top. Curtis: AXELMANIA! Fandango plants him with a release suplex and the Last Dance is good for the pin at 1:03. Again, I care about the loser more than the winner.

Miz interrupts Mizdow’s commercial shoot and mocks him for just ripping Miz off. The director didn’t know Miz was interested in being part of this commercial and gives him the part instead. That’s ANOTHER face who is treated like a loser, but at least he hasn’t……when did he last win a match? This company is really bad at setting up good guys. Of course they have to face adversity, but they really need to win once in awhile. This idea of just letting the fans carry them doesn’t hold up for everyone but it seems to be all WWE is doing lately. Either that or have the champ lose every time.

Barrett will be defending the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania in a ladder match against an unknown number of unnamed opponents. Sheamus returns there maybe?

We get the Sting career retrospective. WWE does a lot of things wrong but they’re awesome at things like this.

Adam Rose vs. Goldust

Rose has entered the Andre battle royal. Before the match we get a recap of Stardust attacking his brother on Sunday. Rose jumps him to start and charges into the powerslam for two. The Final Cut is good for the pin at 1:02.

Stardust is dressed as a monkey Rosebud and jumps Goldust.

Bray Wyatt claims that Undertaker is clinging to his legacy. He’s a snake, but even the cleverest rat can only run from the snake for so long. How long does Undertaker think he can hide? Time is ticking because Wrestlemania is approaching. Come find him.

Seth Rollins/Kane/Big Show vs. Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler/Ryback

We get the Jon Stewart response to Rollins before the match starts. Kane headlocks Rowan to start but gets runs over by a shoulder block. A fall away slam (that’s way too popular of a move these days) and jumping elbow get two for Rowan and it’s off to Ziggler for a nice response. Kane drives Dolph into the corner for a tag to Rollins, who is quickly dropped with a neckbreaker.

Big Show makes a blind tag and throws Ziggler down with a cobra clutch throw as we take a break. Back with Kane holding Ziggler in a chinlock before kicking him in the face to give Rollins two. Big Show comes back in with a headbutt to set up the Vader Bomb. Big Show: “I’M GOING TO HIT MY MOVE!” It’s only good for two though and Dolph scores with a quick Fameasser but he has to add a running DDT to Kane. That’s finally enough for the tag to Ryback and house is cleaned.

An overhead belly to belly sends Rollins flying into the corner and a big powerslam plants him for good measure. The Meat Hook connects but Mercury comes in for a distraction. Big Show breaks up a double Shell Shock as everything breaks down. Rollins dives onto Rowan but his Blockbuster attempt is caught in a Shell Shock. Kane makes a save but eats a Zig Zag, only to get dropped by Rollins. The Stooges are thrown in again and the distraction lets Ryback hit Shell Shock on Rollins for the pin at 11:07.

Rating: C+. Well the booking has been frustrating all night so why not job out Rollins again while trading wins in the never ending feud as well? If there’s one good thing here, it’s Ryback looking like a monster this whole time. However, none of this matters until it actually leads somewhere for him. Odds are he’ll be put into the battle royal though and get lost in the shuffle.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was one of the most head scratching shows I’ve seen in a very long time. Between having the Intercontinental Title literally handed over from one guy to another in what felt like a parody sketch instead of…..whatever that really was supposed to be to faces looking like hopeless losers to somehow making me feel bad for a villain to trading wins with Big Show and Kane continuing to look strong to set up whatever in the world they’re going to do, this show was every problem WWE has going on right now.

The short matches are a confusing point for me. On one hand, I really don’t want to see these matches keep going on and on, but at the same time I’d like to see a match get enough time to not be a huge waste. Throw in Roman Reigns just talking for five minutes and not getting anywhere and this was a really rough show to sit through.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds

Natalya b. Naomi – Discus lariat

Daniel Bryan b. Bad News Barrett – Running knee

Fandango b. Curtis Axel – Last Dance

Goldust b. Adam Rose – Final Cut

Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan/Ryback b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins – Shell Shock to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Fast Lane 2015
Date: February 22, 2015
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final major show before Wrestlemania XXXI and I’ve yet to find someone who really wants to see this show. The big story tonight is finding out who is going to be in the main event against Brock Lesnar, as well as if Sting is going to accept HHH’s likely challenge for a match at the biggest show of the year. Gee I wonder what his answer is going to be. Let’s get to it.

There’s no pre-show match this month but we do have MizTV with special guest Paul Heyman. Before Heyman comes out though, Miz tells Mizdow to go sit in the corner. Miz was supposed to be at the Oscars but the Academy got Dwayne Johnson to fill in for him. He explains Reigns vs. Bryan for later tonight and here’s Heyman. Paul suggests that Miz is terrified of Lesnar being here because he’s not a good enough actor to hide that fear.

Brock is NOT here tonight, but Miz can’t get off that insult to his acting abilities. He brings up his win in the main event of Wrestlemania (he’s going to catch Jericho’s “I beat Rock and Austin in one night” at this pace) as a qualification for being able to ask who Lesnar wants to face this year. Miz talks up Bryan’s wins last year and Heyman understands how hot Bryan is right now, but he doesn’t think Brock would be worried.

Heyman gets freaked out by Mizdow sitting in the corner so Miz makes his employee face the corner. This gets Mizdow on his feet but Miz shouts him down again. Now we get back to the main event of Wrestlemania with Heyman repeating all of his lines about Reigns from the last few weeks.

The fans cut him off with a Mizdow chant so Heyman actually starts all over again. That’s one way to get some heat. Heyman talks about the YES chants at Wrestlemania that will be silenced by Brock Lesnar, and you can believe that Reigns will go down as well. Paul rolls his eyes as he leaves. This felt like total filler since there aren’t enough matches to go around.

The opening video has a computerized car theme, talking about speed and velocity while focusing on the two main events.

Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan/Ryback vs. Seth Rollins/Kane/Big Show

This was announced on WWE.com earlier in the week. Rowan now has a big R on his coveralls. Ziggler and Rollins get things going as the fans chant for Ryback. Dolph escapes a headlock and counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip. Cole brings up Rollins bringing up the Daily Show and Jon Stewart actually responding to him. A nice dropkick staggers Rollins and it’s off to Rowan to work on the arm.

That’s not enough for Rowan so he hooks a pumphandle backbreaker for two. I’ve always liked pumphandle moves and could go for more of them. Kane comes in for the battle of boring big men and Rowan slams him down, followed by a legdrop for no cover. A nice jumping middle rope back elbow gets two on Kane but he drives Rowan into the corner for the tag to Big Show.

The villains take Rowan to the floor where he spinwheel kicks the post by mistake. Another FEED ME MORE chant starts up as Lawler makes easy bald jokes about Big Show. Back in and Kane stomps Rowan in the corner before it’s off to Rollins to stomp on the leg. A Blockbuster gets two more and Big Show comes back in to keep control. He hooks the Lasso From El Paso to actually show some psychology but just lets go for some reason. Rowan counters a chokeslam and plants Show with a DDT but Rollins breaks up the tag attempt.

Erick gets up though and spinwheel kicks Seth down with the bad leg. The hot tag brings in Ryback as things speed up but Rollins avoids the Warrior splash. The Curb Stomp is countered into a powerbomb but Kane takes the Meathook. There’s the low superkick for two on Ryback but another Blockbuster is countered into Shell Shock but Big Show makes the save. It’s off to Ziggler for a jumping DDT on Kane for two but Rollins interference allows Big Show to knock Ziggler cold, giving Kane the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B. The man is Mr. Money in the Bank and possibly the future of the company and he’s now running interference for Big Show and Kane to get the glory as they pin one of the most popular guys in this company. This was your basic Smackdown main event, meaning it was entertaining enough and a good choice for a PPV opener. I’m totally sick of this story, but at least it’s a good enough match.

The beating continues post match (picture any Smackdown……if anyone actually watches that show) but Orton FINALLY returns and cleans house, sending Rollins running away. He goes all the way into the parking lot and presumably drives away though we don’t see him get in a car.

We recap Stardust vs. Goldust, which is due to their issues as a tag team. Their father Dusty Rhodes tried to settle things on Monday but Stardust attacked his brother, setting up this match.

Dusty is in the back with Goldust and asks him not to hurt Cody too badly tonight. Goldust talks about going to the shows with Cody to watch Dusty in the ring. Tonight, he’s facing Stardust though, and he has to beat him so badly that the thought of painting his face and putting on a costume will make Cody sick. He isn’t leaving without Cody tonight.

Stardust vs. Goldust

Stardust is now in star tights and no shirt. Goldust shoves him out of the corner to start and neither guy seems comfortable to be out there. They trade hiptosses and Stardust hides in the corner for some polite applause. An atomic drop and right hand have Stardust in more trouble but Stardust escapes the Curtain Call. We see a nervous Dusty watching in the back. Goldust clotheslines him out to the floor before loading up Shattered Dreams, only to have Stardust bail to the apron.

Back in and Stardust finally gets some energy into the match and stomps away, taking it back to the floor. This isn’t very interesting so far but it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Back in and we hit a bodyscissors on Goldust before a rollup gets two for Stardust. A slap to the back sets up another body vise as the fans can’t decide who to cheer for. Goldust misses a springboard elbow but counters Cross Rhodes into a bad looking crucifix for two, which is called three in what looked to be a botched ending at 10:00. The referee’s hand only hit the mat twice.

Rating: D. I think they were going for Goldust not wanting to do this, but it came off as much more boring and dull than anything else. At the end of the day, these sort of matches don’t hold up for me with neither guy wanting to do much and clearly just being there to set up another match down the line. Nothing to see here other than a good looking change of outfit for Stardust, who wound up losing.

We see Jon Stewart of the Daily Show responding to Seth Rollins. Seth has made a big mistake by coming after the Daily Show and even J and J Security can’t get him out of it. Stewart is coming for him.

Rollins says he’s not hard to find and welcomes Stewart to Fast Lane or any Raw he has time to come to.

Goldust and Dusty are in the back and hope it’s over but Stardust comes in and destroys his brother. He yells at Dusty that he was the black sheep of the family before nailing Goldust again.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro

The Usos are defending after Cesaro and Kidd beat them in a non-title match. Naomi and Natalya are here as seconds. Jey takes Kidd down to start and holds him for a top rope shot to the chest from Jimmy. It’s off to Cesaro via a blind tag and he takes out Jimmy’s knee to take over. Kidd goes after the knee and Cesaro follows suit with a one legged swing.

Back to Kidd with a slingshot legdrop for two. Notice how much they’re mixing up the offense on the leg. You don’t have to take turns doing the same holds over and over again. Jimmy gets over for the tag to speed things up but Cesaro grabs a quick rollup for two. The running Umaga attack gets two on Cesaro but he crotches Jimmy on the top. Cesaro lifts Jimmy off the apron for a superplex, setting up the top rope elbow from Kidd for two.

Jey escapes the Sharpshooter and throws Kidd into the air for a Samoan drop from Jimmy, only to have Cesaro drag Kidd outside. That’s fine with Jimmy as he hits a huge dive. A Samoan drop drives Kidd into the barricade and all four are down outside. Back in and Jimmy’s Superfly Splash hits knees and Kidd slaps on the Sharpshooter. Jey makes the save and slugs it out with Cesaro but they fall to the floor. With Jimmy still shaken up, Kidd hits a quick fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin and the titles at 9:35.

Rating: B-. Another good match here and I’m very pleased with the results. Kidd has gotten a lot better in the last few months and it’s nice to see him get rewarded for all the hard work. The Usos can only do their thing for so long before they need a freshening up and this might be such a chance. Another good result after another good match.

We recap Sting interrupting HHH at Survivor Series and then again on Raw a few months later, setting up their confrontation tonight.

HHH comes out in his leather jacket and jeans for a change. He brings up the meeting with Flair on Raw and calls out Sting right now, so here’s Sting in person. HHH knows why he’s here and thinks Sting is backing the wrong horse. Sting may have been WCW but he went down with the ship.

It was guys like HHH that made the ship go down in the first place because his family is what keeps the WWE alive. So HHH is now taking credit for killing WCW? He wasn’t even in the Winner Take All match. If Sting just walks away now, his legacy goes on. He can continue through DVDs and merchandise, and maybe even the Hall of Fame one day.

HHH takes off the jacket and says we can do it another way. He goes for a cheap shot but Sting lays him out, only to eat a microphone shot to the face. It’s sledgehammer time but Sting pulls out the ball bat. HHH throws the hammer down and Sting points the bat at the Wrestlemania sign. Sting turns away but hits HHH with the bat while he’s trying a cheap shot. The Death Drop leaves HHH laying. This was exactly what people expected but it worked well enough. The hammer vs. the bat was really cool to see.

We recap the pre-show edition of MizTV.

Quick recap of the Bellas embarrassing Paige.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Nikki Bella

Paige is challenging. Lillian screws up again and calls it the Women’s Title. Paige quickly takes it to the mat and Nikki rolls to the floor. A chase gets us back inside but Nikki knocks her right back to the floor. Back in again and we hit the chinlock before an Alabama Slam gets two on Paige.

Nikki charges into a boot in the corner before Paige hits the three straight clotheslines. A dropkick gets two and Paige kicks her in the face for the same. The Rampaige is countered into a facebuster but Paige pops right back up. Nikki counters a superplex into a nice powerbomb for two but has to crawl to the ropes to escape the PTO. In a fast ending, Nikki sends her into the buckle and grabs the trunks for the pin to retain at 5:37.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not, this wasn’t horrible, but I think most of that is due to Paige holding the thing together. The Bellas (they’re the same person in my eyes anyway) know how to do some decent looking moves, but they don’t know how to work a match. That’s a very big difference and it shows badly when they’re in there against well rounded wrestlers.

Cameron and Eva Marie are at the Oscars.

Sting vs. HHH is officially announced for Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett

Ambrose pinned Barrett in a non-title match (join the freaking club) and literally forced him into signing a contract for a title match. Dean goes right after him to start but gets kicked off the top rope and out to the floor. A chinlock doesn’t last long and Barrett kicks him in the face again to stop Dean’s comeback. Back in and Dean scores with a tornado DDT before countering Winds of Change into a small package for two.

The standing elbow drop gets two more but Dean runs into Wasteland. They’re just trading signature moves right now. The Bull Hammer is countered into a rollup for two and Dean kicks him in the face for no cover. Barrett tries to bail but gets caught by a suicide dive. Dean pulls him back from the crowd and stomps away in the corner for the DQ at 7:46.

Rating: D. This felt like a Raw match to set up a pay per view match, reenforcing my theory that this show could have been broken up into a bunch of Raws instead of being its own pay per view. Nothing to see here and it was pretty clear about halfway through that it was going to be a screwy finish.

Dean hits Dirty Deeds and leaves with the title.

The lights go out and Undertaker’s druids come out with their torches. The gong strikes and two hooded men wheel out a casket. The casket opens up and it’s Bray Wyatt inside. He says he will never forget the first time that he saw him. He made Bray tremble with his cold eyes but now he’s just a shell of his former self. His soul is lost and it’s time to go home. Bray’s mission is clear because he doesn’t fear him anymore. At Wrestlemania, he will claim the Undertaker’s soul. Bray lays back down in the casket and the druids close it up.

The pre-show panel recap the evening so far.

We recap Cena vs. Rusev, which is based on the idea of Cena reaching the end of his career and being far weaker than he used to be. The eye injury has been forgotten in the span of a week.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Rusev is defending. They stall to start and the fans think Cena sucks. A big right hand drops Rusev so he kicks Cena in the face for two. The champ chokes him in the corner and nails a spinwheel kick for two more. A Jerry chant starts up as a fan takes pictures of Lana. Cena comes back with a dropkick for two of his own but Rusev hits a slightly worse dropkick for two more.

The fall away slam gets yet another near fall and Rusev slowly stomps away even more. Cena charges into an elbow in the corner and we hit the chinlock. A suplex puts Rusev down but the AA is countered with a DDT. Back up and Cena fires off right hands before starting his usual sequence. Another AA is countered into the jumping superkick for two. The STF doesn’t work either and Rusev hits a swinging Rock Bottom for two more.

Cena goes to the middle rope for a tornado DDT but still can’t put Rusev away. They slug it out and Rusev grabs the ropes to block another AA attempt. Cena pulls him into a Crossface (called an STF by Cole) but Rusev easily powers out and hits the second Alabama (Moscow?) Slam of the night. Some elbows to the back look to set up the Accolade but Cena blocks a stomp (it could have been the shouting of RUSEV CRUSH) and slaps on the STF.

Rusev finally grabs a rope and escapes the AA again but misses the superkick. Now the AA connects for two (I’m as shocked as you are) and both guys are spent. The top rope Fameasser misses though and Rusev hooks the Accolade. Cena has his knees under him though and powers up, only to have Lana offer a distraction so Rusev can kick him low. Another superkick to the face sets up the Accolade and Cena passes out at 19:00.

Rating: B. Good freaking grief STOP USING PAY PER VIEW TO SET UP REMATCHES. They’re making it as clear as they can that this show is just a big preview for Wrestlemania and they can claim “you didn’t have to pay for it.” Unless you’re loyal to WWE of course and actually bought the Network before the free month. This took some time to get going but finally took off about halfway through. Of course it sets up Cena’s big win at Wrestlemania, but this is a good win for Rusev. Granted it’s on a worthless show but at least it’s there.

Cena is dazed post match.

Kickoff panel recaps again.

We recap Reigns vs. Bryan, which is all about headlining Wrestlemania against Brock Lesnar. They started off respecting each other but it’s evolved into a game of topping each other to play mind games.

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

The previous match got big match intros but this didn’t get anything. Good sign in the crowd: PUNCH THAT HIPPIE! Bryan keeps getting down low on the mat to avoid Roman’s power in a smart move. A headlock slows Reigns down a bit but he counters into one of his own. Daniel goes for the leg and takes Reigns down into the surfboard but Reigns easily kicks him away. Roman stomps him down in the corner without showing a lot of aggression.

A nice tilt-a-whirl slam and clothesline put Bryan on the floor but he comes back with kicks to the leg to slow Reigns down again. That’s fine with Roman who just blasts Bryan with a right hand to the jaw as they’re getting a good story going here. Back up again and Reigns hits the jumping clothesline but misses a charge into the corner. Another clothesline turns Bryan inside out and Reigns starts rolling some pumphandle suplexes. The Superman Punch is countered with a kick to the ribs.

Some knees to the ribs have Reigns in even more trouble and the running corner dropkicks stagger him again. Bryan tries a top rope hurricanrana but gets caught in a superbomb for a close two as things are starting to get good. Reigns loads up a top rope superplex but gets crotched down, setting up a belly to back superplex to stay on the weakened midsection. The YES Lock goes on but Reigns gets the rope and bails to the floor.

Bryan hits back to back Flying Goats but tries once too often and gets belly to belly suplexed. The spear hits the steps though and Reigns barely beats the count back in. Bryan dives into something resembling the Superman Punch for two. The spear is countered into a rollup but the running knee only gets a very near fall. The YES Kicks have Reigns reeling but he blocks the big one.

Bryan slaps him in the face on one leg before pulling Reigns down into a YES Lock. Reigns turns it over and hammers away right hands to stun Bryan again. He lifts Bryan up into a powerbomb and both guys are down. Bryan’s legs are over Reigns but the referee doesn’t count it as a cover. Both guys sit up and Reigns hammers away with right hands so Bryan just unloads with kicks to the head to put him down again. Another running knee is countered with the spear though to send Reigns to Wrestlemania at 20:04.

Rating: A-. I actually really like that ending because storyline wise, Bryan has very little claim to a spot in the main event at Wrestlemania. This is the big win that Reigns needed to look like a star and he certainly delivered his half. They were telling a good story out there with Bryan trying to pick Reigns apart but eventually just getting run over by raw power. Excellent main event here and it did what it was supposed to do.

Bryan pokes Reigns in the chest and tells him to take out Lesnar at Wrestlemania. They shake hands and Bryan lets Reigns celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was good in spite of itself because of some really solid wrestling. Unfortunately, the total lack of need to have this show really hurts it though as this simply didn’t need to be a pay per view. Reigns should have eliminated Bryan last from the Rumble and the exact same things could have been accomplished on TV. The wrestling carried this, but there was no way to care about a lot of the stuff on this show. Think about it like this: other than the Tag Team Titles and the Divas, every match on here (or the post match segment) seemed to be to set up a future match. That’s inexcusable for a big time show.

Results

Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler/Ryback/Erick Rowan – Kane pinned Ziggler after a KO Punch from Big Show

Goldust b. Stardust – Crucifix

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro b. Usos – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Jimmy

Nikki Bella b. Paige – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Bad News Barrett b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose wouldn’t stop stomping

Rusev b. John Cena – Accolade

Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It says a lot that I had completely forgotten this show was tomorrow night. Fast Lane is a show that really doesn’t need to exist and most of these matches could have easily been done as big time Raw main events over the course of a few weeks. Instead though they need a way to bulk up the Network subscriptions, and to be fair the free month for Survivor Series was an amazing success. This show really isn’t doing much for me though so let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the match recently added: a six man tag between Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins vs. Ryback/Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan. This match makes sense because the Survivor Series WILL NEVER DIE. It was also odd that you had these six guys all sitting around doing nothing so why not just get a big tag match to put them all on the show? It’s definitely the most logical move they could go with and avoids repeats of singles matches we’ve already seen for a change.

As for the winners, of course it’s the Authority, because we have to keep Big Show and Kane looking strong see. Oh and that Rollins guy gets to get a nice rub too. Rollins hasn’t had much to do since the Rumble and it really goes to show you how up and down the booking is. Yeah he’s beaten Ziggler a few times, but who hasn’t at this point? Rowan is done to say the least, but Ryback has been treated as a pretty big deal since he’s been back. Still though, the Authority wins and they win without much trouble.

I’ll take Stardust over Goldust, likely setting up a Wrestlemania rematch for Goldust’s career. The guy has been around forever and would be excellent for an agent’s job. Stardust needs a win to establish himself as a singles guy, which could be interesting if they let him run with it.

Usos retain the titles because Cesaro and Kidd are just there to give the smarks something to cheer for. Not that it matters anyway as the Ascension is waiting in the wings to take the belts. I wouldn’t mind a more interesting story for the titles, but at least it’s based on something that happened in WWE rather than the stupid reality show.

Ambrose somehow loses the title shot because Barrett has lost almost everything leading up to this match, so why not just let him keep the title? Besides, Ambrose hasn’t won on pay per view since….well since the Shield was around actually. Couple that with him not winning a singles pay per view match since Night of Champions 2013 and there’s no reason to think he should win tomorrow night.

Speaking of horrible stories that make my soul hurt and have no basis in logic or reasoning while involving babbling morons who are a disgrace to their far more talented NXT counterparts but fill out tight tops and shorts better and therefore are more entitled to a spot on the main roster, Nikki retains the title over Paige because TOTAL DIVAS MEANS THEY’RE SO TOTALLY CELEBRITIES and since that show is about the Bellas, they’re more important than Paige. Or something.

I’ll actually take Rusev to keep the title, albeit not in a straight finish. This screams Wrestlemania rematch, which isn’t something I care for most of the time. They also seem to be having some issues with how this match is booked, as the eye injury has been forgotten and for some reason they’re not just going with America vs. Russia, which has worked for the better part of eternity. Instead it’s “Cena is suddenly old, even though no one but Vince thinks that”, which is a pretty lame storyline. Anyway, Rusev retains and Cena gets his big win at Wrestlemania…..in theory. I’d love to see Rusev beat him on the big stage.

That leaves us with Bryan vs. Reigns for the Mania title shot, and I really think they’re going with the triple threat. It would fit perfectly with this show meaning nothing, so why not just have them go with that and put Bryan in the title match? It makes sense (or as much sense as this story can make) and gets us where we need to go. Reigns vs. Lesnar wouldn’t work on its own nearly as well, but it’s clear that this Wrestlemania is going to suffer from them not knowing where they want to go, at least on paper.

Oh and HHH calls out Sting.  They’ll talk, they’ll talk some more, they’ll pretend the Invasion wasn’t a thing, Sting will punch him a few times, a match will be made for Wrestlemania, it will take about three times longer than it should.

Overall, as I’ve mentioned more than once in the preview, this show doesn’t need to exist. It’s there because the Network needs something to hype up and doesn’t make sense with the storylines they have. It’s a weak card which will likely lead us to a weak Wrestlemania, so why would I want to see this? I’ll be watching, but I think the Oscars are going to distract me from this dull show more than once.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 19, 2015
Location: BB&T Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Fast Lane and thankfully the ending to Monday’s show was a bit more interesting than trying to figure out exactly when Bryan turned into a whiny loser who is using his contractual obligations to get back in the title picture instead of just winning matches like he did last year. Other than that we have Rollins vs. Ziggler again tonight because what else could they air? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Reigns vs. Bryan story from Monday with both of them messing with the others match and a big brawl to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Before the match, we see Miz ripping on Mizdow earlier in the night, but he insists it’s just trying to help Mizdow from being a loser. Mizdow of course out pops Miz, earning him a severe tongue lashing. Miz orders him to go get an Egyptian cotton towel for after his match. Apparently Bryan wants Miz to only use American goods and kicks some patriotism into his former mentor.

The running clothesline and corner dropkick set up a top rope hurricanrana but Miz bails to the floor to avoid the running knee. Back in and Miz kicks out the knee before driving knees into the hamstring. You don’t try to match submissions with Bryan though and the YES Lock is good for the submission at 2:54.

Ryback vs. Kane

Ryback hammers him into the corner to start and hits a decent belly to belly. A threat of the Meat Hook sends Kane outside in the same sequence from the first match with the running knee. Back in and Kane hits a running DDT followed by a big boot to send Ryback into the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ryback fights up with a Thesz Press and the Warrior Splash. Ryback gets knocked off the top rope to the floor, which means absolutely nothing as he hits the Shell Shock immediately after getting back in for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D. This was a ten minute power match packed into less than four minutes. Ryback and Kane could have a decent match if they were given a few more minutes but they had to fly through this instead, likely so we can see a bunch of videos from Raw. Also, Ryback can pin Kane but Reigns can only beat him by countout? These are the kind of things that just make no sense and make you wonder if anyone is actually thinking backstage.

We recap Ambrose making Barrett sign the contract on Monday.

R-Truth vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title so just raise Truth’s hand now. Ambrose is on commentary and wants to know why Truth is shouting WHOMP THERE IT IS, even though it’s on his iPod. Barrett stomps away in the corner as Dean talks about the title being the backbone of the company. Truth gives Barrett a pelvic thrust, earning him a beating in the corner.

Cole asks how that contract signing can stand. Dean: “Well there’s a graphic for the match on WWE.com and the internet is always true.” We hit the chinlock on Truth as Barrett talks trash to Dean. Truth fights up with ease and a side kick gets two. Ambrose ignores more trash talk, even as Barrett takes Truth to the floor and beats him up right in front of Dean. Back in and Dean turns his back on Barrett, allowing Truth to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:09.

Rating: D. Egads man I was kidding about Truth winning. Remember the good old days when champions ACTUALLY WON MATCHES??? On top of that, history shows us that Truth isn’t going anywhere after this win because pinning the champion is a plot device instead of a way to elevate someone. I don’t know what Barrett did to deserve this treatment, but he’d have a better future as a shark dentist than as Intercontinental Champion.

Vince is on the cover of Muscle and Fitness.

We look back at Cena and Rusev fighting on Monday. If nothing else, that segment proved that American healthcare is better than Russian, as Cena’s eye went from the focal point of the match to ignored in the span of a week.

Bray Wyatt says find him before he finds you.

Sheamus return video.

New Day vs. Ascension

Kofi is the odd man out here. Viktor and Woods get things going with Xavier planting a knee into the ribs for two. Ascension drags Woods into the corner for a double teaming, featuring a lot of choking in the corner. Back to Viktor for a kick to the ribs but Woods rolls over for an ice cold tag to E. Viktor gets thrown around but gets a reprieve as Big E. wipes away the sweat. A cheap shot from Konnor allows Viktor to send Big E. into the post, setting up Fall of Man for the pin at 2:52. I’m not surprised they’ve already pulled the plug on New Day, even though I like at least two of the members of the team.

Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns

My goodness Harper has cooled down since winning that Intercontinental Title. It really has become a death knell in the last few years. Reigns throws him into the corner and stomps Luke down with ease. More stomping sends Harper outside and Roman nails him with a running clothesline. If Reigns can do one thing as well as anyone, it’s explode with running moves.

Back in and something like the ProtoBomb gets two but they head right back outside where Luke sends him into the steps. Back in and a slingshot hilo of all things gets two for Harper but Reigns fights out of a headlock. A big Samoan drop sends Harper flying but he escapes another and hits a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. Reigns pops back up, no sells a superkick and spears Harper down for the pin at 4:49.

Rating: C. As much as I can’t stand the no selling of hard shots to the face, this is the kind of win that makes Reigns look better. Have him get in there for a hard hitting match and then spear someone in half for the pin. It’s a really basic way of getting him over and to show off his physical abilities instead of whatever the heck the story with Bryan is supposed to be. I’ve watched the entire thing so far and I still don’t get it. What I do get however is Reigns spearing people and pinning them because it looks cool.

Recap of Flair and HHH from Raw for the response to the acceptance for the challenge to talk.

Big Show vs. Erick Rowan

I don’t see this going well. Show kicks Rowan to the floor before the bell and throws him into the steps. He picks Rowan up by the beard and throws him inside where the referee is fine with opening the match despite Rowan taking a horrible beating which should be a DQ but that might make Big Show look weak and this is a Big Show tribute company after all.

Show stomps him down in the corner and plants him with a slam. More stomping sets up the chokeslam for the pin at 2:26. Why in the world did we need a Big Show squash? He beat Daniel Bryan on Raw and now he needs to win a squash? Oh wait, it’s more Survivor Series fallout. Why didn’t I see that coming?

Cameron vs. Paige

The Bellas are on commentary and wearing sunglasses, which actually fit them quite well. Cameron flips her hair at Paige to start and gets the revolving elbows in the corner for her efforts. Paige drives knees into the chest and does her shout on the apron to no reaction from the Bellas. Apparently Nikki is fierce. Good to know. Cameron comes back with her horrible offense and slaps Paige in the face, earning her a series of clotheslines. A kick to the face sets up the PTO for the submission at 2:09.

Paige shouts at the Bellas post match. They were actually far easier to sit through here as they’ve turned up the obnoxious levels to make it more of a character than just half doing everything and coming off like catty teenagers at summer camp. Naturally Nikki is going to retain the title Sunday though, because Paige has won every match leading up to the showdown and the Bellas are evil, meaning they have to get the upper hand.

We recap Goldust and Stardust’s issues with Dusty on Monday.

Stardust knows what it’s like to be considered a freak, so he embraced Stardust. They were on fire as a team and won the Tag Team Titles, but then darkness crept in. He saw it coming because it happened to him, and it took Cody away from him. Now Stardust is a cancer eating Cody alive and he wants his brother back. That means he has to face his brother and beat him at Fast Lane. Stardust appears on the screen behind him and asks to be spared from Goldust’s sentiments. After Sunday, Cody won’t be the only one who has ceased to exist. The universe will forget the name of Goldust.

Jimmy Uso vs. Tyson Kidd

Before the match, Kidd says his decision to team with Cesaro is the best move he’s ever made. Natalya’s face is rather amusing to say the least. Also of note here: Kidd is about a foot shorter than Cesaro. I’ve never noticed that kind of a height difference before. Kidd fires off ROH style forearms to the head to start but Jimmy comes back with right hands in the corner. Not that it matters though as Rusev comes in to beat up both guys at 0:57.

Rusev destroys everyone and rants in Russian about Cena. No Lana here.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

The Stooges are barred from ringside. Feeling out process to start with both guys going for arm holds and Rollins bailing to the ropes. They hit the mat with Ziggler caught in a headlock but he comes back with a nice dropkick. Rollins avoids a Stinger Splash though and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a chinlock (as is almost always the case) but charging into a hot shot for two.

Big Show, Kane, Ryback and Rowan are all at ringside. After what happened earlier, why would you want Rowan out there? Isn’t there an elderly music teacher somewhere that could give you a better fighting chance? Rollins yells at Ryback and Rowan, allowing Dolph to come back with a running forearm to put both guys down.

Now the Stinger Splash connects and Ziggler follows it up with a neckbreaker. Rollins tries the buckle bomb but gets countered into a sunset flip, followed by the Fameasser for two more. Dolph dropkicks him out to the floor where Seth slaps Ryback and Rowan. Back in and Ziggler has to fight off Kane, allowing Rollins to hit the buckle bomb, followed by the Curb Stomp for the pin at 10:23.

Rating: B-. Solid enough match here but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do far better before. Rollins getting a big win is a good sign and I’d assume there’s going to be a six man tag set up for Sunday. If nothing else it would fill out the card a bit and get us beyond six matches for the show. Oh and a big talk, because that’s what I want to pay for: a preview for the next show.

The Stooges come out and it’s time for the big beatdown. Given that Ziggler is done and Rowan is Rowan, it’s basically Ryback getting destroyed, making a decent comeback and then getting destroyed again for the last three minutes of the show, because the Stooges were able to subdue Rowan and we’re still doing the same things we did around Survivor Series time. So much for Kane and Big Show having issues I guess, unless something happens Sunday.

Overall Rating: C-. Now this felt like an alternative to Raw. Monday night tends to be about packing as much stuff as you can into a show, but at the same time it feels like they’re stalling for time. This show flies by with some decent wrestling and VERY few stories. Smackdown is much more streamlined and makes it an easier show to sit through.

However, that doesn’t make it an interesting show. Nothing happens on this show and it was pure false hope when it moved back to Thursdays. This is right back to the same stuff they did for years and there’s no real reason to watch it. Yeah there was some mild storyline development here, but it’s more like the downloadable content for a video game: it might be fun to kill some time, but if you never saw it, you wouldn’t lose anything from the game itself.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Miz – YES Lock

Ryback b. Kane – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Bad News Barrett – Rollup

Ascension b. New Day – Fall of Man to Big E.

Roman Reigns b. Luke Harper – Spear

Big Show b. Erick Rowan – Chokeslam

Paige b. Cameron – PTO

Jimmy Uso vs. Tyson Kidd went to a no contest when Rusev interfered

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Curb Stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Much like last week, this actually feels like a big show. The main event for tonight is again Bryan vs. Kane, now in a No DQ match with Bryan’s Rumble spot on the line. The show had a significantly bigger audience last week compared to the normal audiences on Fridays, so maybe we’re in for more big time shows. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw with Sting helping Cena win the 3-1 handicap match to save Cena’s spot in the Sunday’s title match but more importantly getting Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback’s jobs back.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to get things going. He’s excited to get on the Road to Wrestlemania and would love to talk about his No DQ match tonight and how he won’t let anything stop him from winning the Royal Rumble. He could talk about how obsessed he is with getting the WWE World Heavyweight Championship back. Or he could talk about Sting’s first ever appearance on Raw and how it ruined the Authority’s night.

However, there’s something more important than that, and it’s what John Cena accomplished on Raw. There are three people with something to say about it, so here are Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler for their big returns. Well as big as they can be after just getting a few weeks off. It’s really hard to care about them being fired when they’re back in just a few weeks.

The fans chant FEED ME MORE at Ryback before he compares his firing to Bryan’s injury. The Big Guy is back but doesn’t have much more to say other than catchphrases. Rowan says being gone was sort of a blessing because he had a lot of time to sit back and think. Believe it or not, he used to be a different person. He was naive and someone’s puppet, but these last few weeks have let them (as in he and the sheep mask) know who he really is.

That leaves us with Ziggler, who of course gets the biggest reaction of the three. Ziggler set around eating stuffed crust pizza and watched the HHH and Stephanie fitness DVDs. He’s joking of course and brings up all the momentum he had before getting fired (because WWE loves to build people up and then take them off TV). But the Authority tried to take it away because they’re a threat. He would rather stay here and take a beating like never before than going home sitting on his couch and complaining on a podcast (it had been too long since the last Punk cheap shot).

Cue the Authority minus the actual authority with Rollins saying this is a Survivor Series reunion with a garden gnome replacing Bryan. Ziggler wants to beat Rollins up right now but Rollins has more important things to do than deal with someone who sits on a couch eating stuffed crust pizza. Oh and the fitness DVDs are AWESOME! Ziggler says Rollins must enjoy them because he’s never seen anyone run away from Lesnar that fast.

Kane tells Bryan to calm down because he still has to survive tonight to get into the Rumble. Bryan responds by showing a clip of Lesnar destroying Kane and Big Show to close Raw. That’s not cool with Big Show who promises to win the Rumble on Sunday because the four people in the ring are all losers. Kane promises to go to depraved levels to destroy Bryan but turns his attention to Ziggler. Since he’s a new employee, Ziggler has to start back at the bottom of the ladder and work his way back to the Intercontinental Title. However, Kane is willing to give Ziggler a match against Barrett right now.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title and only Ziggler can qualify with a win. Barrett easily takes him down to start but gets caught in a headlock. A nice dropkick gets two for Dolph but a headscissors is countered with a kick to the ribs. They head outside where Barrett sends him into the apron before cranking on the arm back inside. This is the kind of stuff I’d like to see more of: someone grabbing a body part and cranking on it for the middle part of the match.

A top wristlock has Ziggler in trouble but he avoids a charge in the corner. The running DDT gets two for Dolph and we take a break. Back with Barrett going back to the arm but Ziggler rolls through to send Barrett shoulder first into the post. Dolph nails a big superkick for two more and both guys are down. Back up and the champ kicks him in the ribs but the Bull Hammer is blocked, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:54.

Rating: D+. Barrett losing all the time is officially a running joke. I mean, it has to be. There’s no way they can think this is the logical way to book anything. The match was actually pretty dull with neither guy going out of the ordinary. I’m not sure what the solution is for Barrett, but this stuff is turning him into more and more of a waste every week.

We recap Ascension getting beaten down by the legends on Raw.

Reigns looks at the footage of Big Show going after the legends from Raw and knocking out Flair until Reigns made the save. Roman doesn’t know if Renee Young has heard, but Big Show is a giant. If you haven’t heard, just listen because it’s all he ever talks about. Andre never had to do that because his actions did the talking.

Show also always talks about Reigns wanting his spot, but Reigns wants his own spot. In the Rumble, everyone is all over the place and his fist is cocked, locked and ready to rock. He’s the one vs. all and he’s the one standing at the end. Believe that. This was FAR better than his usual stuff and felt much more natural.

Fandango draws his Rumble number and seems very pleased. As he dances with Rosa, Ambrose sneaks in and steals his number. The referee monitoring the drawing has no issue with this.

Ryback vs. Rusev

Non-title again and only Ryback can qualify. Ryback hits a hard shoulder but Rusev frantically rolls outside before the cover. Back in and Ryback hits a nice suplex, sending Rusev’s legs into the ropes in the process. The champ bails to the floor again but is able to dropkick a charging Ryback to take over. We take a break and come back with Rusev getting two off a DDT.

Rusev wraps the leg around the post, hoping Ryback actually sells it unlike he did in the Big Show match a few weeks back. Ryback takes advantage of Rusev’s trash talking and hits a slingshot belly to back suplex and a powerslam for two. A Backpack Stunner gets two more and Ryback stops to hold his knee (to be fair Rusev didn’t do much to the knee so it’s not as annoying this time).

Ryback’s powerbomb is countered into an Alabama Slam (Siberia Slam?) for two but he just runs Rusev over. For some reason Ryback goes up top, only to be quickly crotched down for two. Rusev tells himself to crush but Ryback fights out of the Accolade and loads up the Meathook, sending Rusev running again. Ryback follows and hammers away before beating the count at 13:47.

Rating: C+. Who would have thought these two would be better than Ziggler and Barrett? There was even a bit of a story told with Rusev running a lot in the beginning and then losing when he tried it once too often. Ryback can do a decent power match and Rusev is finding ways to keep the unpinned streak alive without looking stupid. I’ll call this a pleasant surprise.

Rusev goes after him again but gets dispatched one more time.

Brie Bella vs. Naomi

Paige and Natalya are on commentary. Thankfully the BRIE MODE is gone. The Bellas mock Natalya for loving cats and call Paige a vampire. Paige corrects them by saying she’s a glampire and a black heart. Naomi kicks at Brie’s leg as Paige and Natalya debate if they’re friends or not. Paige calls Tyson Kidd an idiot as Naomi gets her throat snapped across the top rope for two. Brie misses her running knee but hits a jawbreaker on the knee, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 2:20. So much for Naomi meaning anything.

Luke Harper says you can send anyone into the Royal Rumble, but don’t send in anyone you want back. Rowan better not blink or the monsters will get him. Are you scared yet?

Goldust and Stardust draw their numbers and hiss at each other.

Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper

Only Rowan can qualify. They slug it out to start and Rowan runs him over with a shoulder for an early two. Harper busts out a freaking hurricanrana to counter a powerbomb. This guy is not normal. Rowan just throws him into the corner and gets two more off a spin kick. Luke bites the fingers to block I think a full nelson but this time Rowan’s powerbomb connects for two. Erick misses a top rope splash though and a superkick and discus lariat gives Harper the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C. The more I see Harper the more I wonder why he isn’t being pushed to the moon and back. On the other hand, the more I see Rowan, the more I wonder why they even bothered pushing him in the first place. He’s fine in the ring and I like his potential, but he’s just a big jobber at this point and it seems like that’s all he was ever meant to be.

Kane borrows the Stooges for his match with Bryan.

Rumble by the numbers video.

Miz is annoyed at Mizdow for imitating X-Pac without his permission. Mizdow says the fans liked it but Miz says no one cheers for him because they’re all cheering for Miz. Miz also rejects the pumpkin latte for having the wrong amount of foam. He leaves and the Usos come up and tell Mizdow that he can get his hands on Miz in the Rumble. The idea intrigues Mizdow but he still looks conflicted.

Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

No DQ with Bryan’s Rumble spot on the line and the Stooges in Kane’s corner. A cross body gets one on Kane but Bryan has to go after the Stooges, allowing Kane to kick him down to the floor. He stays on the neck with a neckbreaker on the floor before dropping him onto the barricade. It’s kendo stick time with Bryan getting cracked over the back a few times before they head back inside.

Daniel gets the cane to cane Kane before alternating between kicks and cane shots to the back. A big kick to the head is only good for two and Kane knocks him out of the air as we go to a break. Back with Kane holding a chinlock (what else would he be doing?) and cracking Bryan in the back with a chair for two. The chair gets wedged into the corner but Kane low bridges him to the floor. The Flying Goat is countered with an uppercut and Kane takes over on the floor. Bryan gets whipped into the steps and the Stooges load up the announcers’ table. They’re already more useful than Patterson and Brisco.

The tomestone and chokeslam are both countered and Kane gets sent into the post to give Daniel a breather. Back in and a bad looking YES Lock has Kane in trouble but the Stooges come in to break it up. Lawler and Cole are incensed but Saxton correctly point out that they’re not breaking any rules. Bryan fights them off but eats a chokeslam for two. Kane is livid and gets another chair, only to be sent into the one he wedged in the corner, setting up the running knee to send Bryan to the Rumble at 12:18.

Rating: B-. This was as good as you can expect from Bryan vs. Kane, but the feud needs to end here. Kane as the monster hunting Bryan is only going to get you so far and we passed that point back in April. Having Bryan overcome a small set of odds is the right way to use him and getting the big win off his finisher is the right way to go. I can more than live with Kane in roles like this, with him getting pinned by a bigger star who slays a monster. Why can’t we get there with Big Show?

Speaking of Big Show, he drags Bryan back to the ring but Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback come in for the save. The big Rumble brawl is on until Ambrose and Reigns come out to make it serious. Roman cleans house, even though most of the guys were already gone by the time he got in. It gets down to all of the big heroes in the ring (minus Rowan. They’re not even hiding it now) and Kane and Big Show on the apron to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s still not a great show, but the important part of this show is stuff happened. Instead of spending a big segment on Raw bringing back the three fired guys, it was saved for here and we even saw two of them qualify for the Rumble. It’s not exactly Lesnar and Rollins having a showdown, but I’ll take this over the weekly big tag match every day. If WWE can build up momentum for Smackdown, it might get even bigger in the future. Good show this week that felt important.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett – Zig Zag

Ryback b. Rusev via countout

Brie Bella b. Naomi – Bella Buster

Luke Harper b. Erick Rowan – Discus lariat

Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Running knee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Well the Authority is back and I’m not sure what else you’re expecting the show to focus on this week. The previous week Cena agreed to bring them back for the sake of protecting his BEST FRIEND EVER Edge, and of course the Authority just happened to be there that night. This is likely to set up Wrestlemania and the return of Sting, which should be awesome when it finally happens. Let’s get to it.

The roster was in the ring for the Authority’s big return. As in their return from last week when the really came back because of course they were in the back. Screw suspension of disbelief and all that nonsense. They actually kept this one short as the Authority’s only announcements were Rollins being added to the title match at the Rumble, John Cena Appreciation Night later, and Dolph Ziggler defending the Intercontinental Title against Bad News Barrett right now.

First up we’ll look at the PPV title match. I REALLY like Rollins being added to make it a triple threat, as we’ve seen Cena vs. Lesnar far too often now. At the end of the day, why am I supposed to care about seeing the same guys fight each other with Cena getting closer and closer every time? This also opens a door to avoid Lesnar vs. Reigns for the title at Wrestlemania. There are multiple ways out now, and that’s the best news we could have had in a long time.

Bad News Barrett took the Intercontinental Title back from Dolph Ziggler in classic Russo booking. Ziggler pinned him in less than three minutes but Kane came out to say it’s 2/3 falls, with Barrett winning the next two. This is the start of the night’s big idea and it really should have been more obvious after you know where it’s going. I’m not wild on another title change, especially after Barrett looked like a face last week. Then again, you can’t expect something like week to week continuity around here. It’s not like this is NXT or something.

All night had some great John Cena moments, most of which are the same ones you always see for something like this. I really would like to see them bust out some fresh ones every now and then.

Roman Reigns still can’t talk. I’m interested in where this is going though, because on Smackdown he cut a really goofy promo but then said of course it was hard to say and winked at the camera, acknowledging that it’s a badly scripted promo. I doubt that goes anywhere, but it’s an interesting possibility.

Bray Wyatt is still creepy.

The Ascension came out for the promo and reaction from the announcers that I’ve already written far too much about.

Roman Reigns beat Big Show via DQ in the feud that will not die. They’re still dragging this thing out and I’m scared that they won’t blow it off until Fast Lane. Does anyone even remember why they’re fighting? Was there ever a reason in the first place? It’s a boring feud and for some reason it just keeps going. It didn’t help that Show basically squashed him and then lost via DQ.

Nikki Bella beat Natalya for the second time in two weeks. I’m still just waiting for Naomi to take the title and end this ridiculous Bella domination. Or we could just cancel Total Divas already and stop these stupid stories.

Dean Ambrose is violent.

Erick Rowan lost to Luke Harper via a fast count from the Stooges. More angle advancement and thankfully we haven’t had the big showdown between these two. Then again, it’s not like WWE knows how to build a match other than to have them fight each other a bunch, nor do they seem to have any sort of a plan for or interest in Rowan.

Alicia Fox beat up Naomi in the back because Total Divas thinks it’s interesting.

Bray Wyatt beat Dean Ambrose again in an ambulance match to end their feud. As usual, WWE doesn’t know how to pace a feud. We started with a TLC match then had a bunch of street fights and they end it with an ambulance match. Why an ambulance you ask? No clue, as there’s no connection to an ambulance in their feud. They wound up feuding just because they were feuding before and that almost never makes for a good story.

On top of that, the match was nothing interesting. It’s the problem with having a feud based on violent matches: eventually you get numb to what they’re doing. Ambrose has dropped how many elbows through tables now? I don’t know why I’m supposed to care now because the table has a red cross painted on.

Miz/Damien Mizdow/Alicia Fox beat the Usos/Naomi in a six person tag. This feud has run out of steam, meaning we’re likely getting it for another six weeks. The match was nothing special and it didn’t help that it came on a long, draining show.

Ryback’s punishment is a handicap match against Rollins and Kane but his big moment is he wasn’t knocked out by the first Curb Stomp. He was however knocked out by the second Curb Stomp to give the villains the win.

Big E. beat Adam Rose via DQ when two masked men, played by Cesaro and Tyson Kidd, interfered. They just HAD to put this in? The show felt like it had been going on for a year at this point and I really could have used a breather. Air a video package or something but stop cramming everything in every chance they have. It’s ok to let the show breathe for a minute, but WWE insists on jamming in every story and angle they can. It makes the show very tiring and I don’t want to see any more at this point.

The big ending segment was the Authority praising Cena and then bringing out the other members of Team Cena from Survivor Series (the show that will not die). The Authority fired Ziggler, Ryback and Rowan for a big dramatic moment. Things picked up though as confetti and balloons fell and music played to celebrate John Cena to end the show. I’ll give them that one as the look on Cena’s face as the Authority smiled was perfect.

This show was LONG. That’s my big complaint here in case you missed it the first dozen or so times. It felt like they were cramming in every single idea they had and it makes for a very tiring show. The big angle isn’t going to mean anything long term because I’d be stunned if those three weren’t back for the Rumble. The ending scene was about breaking Cena’s spirit…..which is a really questionable idea. Why you ask?

Has Cena even mentioned Lesnar at the Rumble? We haven’t gotten one promo about the match, one reason to think that Cena is focused, or one thing that really makes me want to see him fight Lesnar again. Sure he’ll mention Brock once in awhile, but it’s always broken up by something from the Authority or Rollins. The title match is a complete afterthought at this point and that’s not what we should be having going into the Road to Wrestlemania. I can’t wait for Lesnar to lose the title so we can get back to something resembling normal around here.

Other than Cena and the Authority, this show just didn’t do anything for me. We’ve seen the same feuds and stories for so long now that it’s almost impossible to care about them again. I know we keep saying the Road to Wrestlemania will re-energize things, but nothing ever seems to change. Maybe it’s coming soon, but the Rumble needs to be a home run at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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