IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 22, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s time to find out what happened last week in Feast or Fired. Tonight is the opening of the briefcases and that means three people are getting title shots while a fourth is getting fired. The firing isn’t the biggest surprise in the world but there’s still some interest elsewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The case holders (Eli Drake, Moose, Petey Williams and Ethan Carter III) arrive as Josh recaps last week’s match.

Recap of Feast of Fired, in case the spoken version didn’t do it for you.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alberto El Patron to say he can fight even if he’s in a suit. He’s ready to fight a real champion in Austin Aries, but Aries doesn’t know who really is the greatest man that ever lived. Cue Aries to talk about how they’re no so different. They’re willing to punch people in the face and they love professional wrestling.

Aries is the truth though and the title match is on for Redemption. Alberto says they both have something to prove so the title match is on. Did we really need to establish that twice? Aries says he’s short but the chip he’ll stand on makes him bigger. El Patron goes to leave as Austin’s music plays, but Aries says to play Alberto’s, because his won’t be playing to end Redemption.

The hosts are in the studio to preview the show with Josh thankfully not holding the Grand Championship.

Trevor Lee vs. Fallah Bahh

Lee makes the mistake of shoving Bahh and falls to the power of the belly. Bahh steps over his back but a Caleb Konley distraction lets Lee knock him to the floor. Back in and we hit a very quick neck crank for two (yes off a neck crank) before Lee thinks it’s a good idea to try a sunset flip. That earns him the sitdown splash so Konley tries to come in. Bahh rolls over both of them in a row but takes too long going up, allowing Lee to roll him up from the middle rope for the pin at 5:28.

Rating: D. Bahh is rapidly falling into the trap of wrestlers his size: he does the same stuff over and over again and the impact goes away. We get it: he’s big, he shouts a lot and he rolls over people. That’s only going to get you so far and Bahh is already there. I’ve never gotten the appeal and while he’s not terrible, if you’ve seen one of his matches, you’ve seen all of them.

OVE is stalking Alisha Edwards (Eddie’s wife) in her hotel. Eddie sees it and runs off as OVE gets to her door.

Petey Williams is ready to open his briefcase and become X-Division Champion again once and for all.

X-Division Title: Rohit Raju vs. Matt Sydal

Sydal is defending and has Josh Matthews in his corner, meaning Sonjay is alone on commentary. Matt takes him into the corner but lets him out with a peace sign. An armbar allows them to turn up the pace a bit until Sydal charges into an elbow. That’s about it for Raju at the moment as Matt takes him down into a Muta Lock.

As usual it’s not enough for a submission so Raju comes back with a neckbreaker as we take a break. Back with Sydal getting two off a standing moonsault but Raju hits a running knee to the head. A German suplex cuts Raju off and the shooting star connects to retain Sydal’s title at 11:24.

Rating: C. Raju is another example of Impact not knowing how to introduce new characters. He just showed up a few weeks ago and the company acts like we know who he is. I’m assuming he had some videos put up on YouTube or their website, but TELL US SOMETHING ABOUT HIM! If he’s good enough to get a title shot and be in Feast or Fired, he’s worthy of an explanation.

Moose is ready to become World Champion and is glad he gambled on Feast or Fired.

Eli Drake is ready to get his World Title back. They can strike him down but he’ll be back even stronger. He’s the Obi-Wan Kenobi of Impact Wrestling.

Knockouts Title: Allie vs. Sienna

Allie is defending and Sienna jumps her before the bell. A crossbody is pulled out of the air and Sienna gets two off a slam. Forearms work a bit better for Allie and a Codebreaker (actually called that) gets two. Sienna gets the same off a discus lariat but Allie slips out of the AK47 and superkicks her down to retain at 3:55.

Rating: D+. What happened to Sienna? She used to be the most dangerous woman in the division and now she’s losing clean in about four minutes. On the other hand, Allie is on a roll and even though it’s a year late, it’s nice to see her getting to showcase her skills. There’s a ton of value in Allie and it’s about time Impact is giving her a chance.

Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to try and reconcile with Allie, only to call her Laurel by mistake. Allie’s sideways glare is great. Sutter proposes and Allie doesn’t seem impressed, but the debuting Su Yung comes in from behind and beats her down. A twisting Samoan Driver leaves Allie laying, much to Sutter’s delight.

Ethan Carter III says he’s going to get the World Title shot but a bunch of people walk by, saying he’ll be fired.

Classic Clip: Abyss vs. Mick Foley in Monster’s Ball from Bound For Glory 2009.

Eddie arrives at the hotel (of course with cameras waiting on him), runs into the room and finds….his wife safe in bed. Then HE LEAVES, only to bump into Sami Callihan (dressed as a maid) so the brawl can break out. Sami gets the better of it and Alisha comes out to check on Eddie, earning herself the thumbs down from Callihan. I’m still trying to get over Eddie LEAVING HIS WIFE IN A HOTEL ROOM WHEN A GROUP OF CRAZY PEOPLE ARE STALKING HER.

The announcers preview the rest of the show.

We recap Jimmy Jacobs/Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park, who has become Abyss again. Tonight it’s Monster’s Ball.

Abyss vs. Kongo Kong

Anything goes and Abyss has James Mitchell in his corner. Abyss wins an early slugout but Kong runs him over and pounds away. A trashcan to the head puts Kong on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Kong getting slammed off the top and Abyss grabbing the bag of tacks.

Rating: D. If this is their big idea to make Kong into the next big thing, they need to go back to the drawing board. By that I mean they need to get rid of Kong and find anyone else because he’s not going to work no matter what they try. Next up likely means a World Title chase because that’s what would annoy me the most.

It’s time to open the briefcases so Williams, Moose, Drake and Carter are in the ring.

First up is Eli who gets….a Tag Team Title shot. Drake: “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Next up is Williams who gets….an X-Division Title shot. He seems happy.

Before we open the final two cases, Moose says he’s winning. Carter says see you never Moose because he’s about to be fired. It’s Moose getting the World Title shot and Carter has reality set in very quickly. He’s frozen in place and can’t open the case, eventually saying that’s not his case. It’s Ishimori’s case but JB opens it instead.

Carter thinks it’s a joke and calls this whole thing a dumb idea. Is King of the Mountain next? He’s held this company on his perfectly symmetrical back for years now. Carter goes into a crazed rant about all of his accomplishments, including being Dixie Carter’s nephew. He finally calms down….and then beats JB up with the briefcase. Brian Cage comes in for the save and it’s a Drill Claw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The two main focal points of this show were the Feast or Fired reveals and Monster’s Ball. That would come down to a major result that was spoiled nearly two months ago and a match with one of the most low rent acts I’ve ever seen in this or any other company. What exactly were they expecting to work about this show? Yung’s debut was good and the opening segment worked well, but other than that, this was a pretty lame show.

Results

Trevor Lee b. Fallah Bahh – Rollup

Matt Sydal b. Rohit Raju – Shooting star press

Allie b. Sienna – Superkick

Kongo Kong b. Abyss – Top rope splash

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

Things are entering a new phase here as we’re done with Crossroads, meaning it’s time to get ready for the next big show. While that hasn’t been announced yet, there is at least a hint of the upcoming World Title feud with Alberto El Patron staring down Austin Aries last week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s episode if you need a recap.

Jeremy Borash (flashback time) is with everyone involved in Feast or Fired. The point of this: they’re all in Feast or Fired.

Recap of Crossroads. That really was a good show.

Opening sequence.

Sami Callihan vs. Fallah Bahh

Sami bounces off the huge Bahh and gets knocked into the corner by the power of the belly. The third knockdown has Sami bailing to the floor for a meeting with OVE. Their advice: shout a lot. Back in and Bahh takes him down to put a toe in Sami’s mouth. What’s the massive appeal of this guy again? Granted that could be said of Sami as well.

Callihan finally pulls him down by the head for a breather and some stomping keeps Bahh down for all of two seconds. A belly to belly plants Sami for two as the announcers plug the WrestleCon show. The Samoan drop connects but Sami is back up with a low blow and a Death Valley Driver (not bad) ends Bahh at 5:48.

Rating: D. Standard Yokozuna formula match here and that’s all you can do with someone Bahh’s size. I’m still not big on Callihan so keeping him short here was the right call. At least he didn’t horribly maim anyone this time around so things are looking up. As long as they keep Callihan around this level, everything will be fine. I’m worried that he’ll be moving up soon though and that’s just not a good idea.

Post match OVE loads up the chair and the bat on Bahh but Eddie Edwards runs in for the save with a pipe.

Matt Sydal is ready to unveil his spirit guide.

The hosts talk about the big stories with Josh dressing a little beneath the professional standard.

Classic Moment: Feast or Fired 2008.

Austin Aries has a sitdown interview and talks about having a pretty cool month. He plugs his new book and being vegan but here’s Alberto who needs to talk to Aries right now. Alberto welcomes him to the promotion (or back to it) before shifting to never losing the World Title. He brings in some wine and what looks like a steak but Aries will stick with the banana.

Alberto is offended and Aries tells him to chew with his mouth closed. They have a chew off until Aries stands up and Alberto backs off. He even hands Alberto a free book because he’s making a champion’s money now. Aries: “You remember what that feels like?” Alberto leaves and Aries has some wine.

Kiera Hogan comes up to congratulate Allie on her win and giggling ensues. Braxton Sutter comes in and wants to talk to Allie but she isn’t interested.

Here are Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs for a chat. Jimmy says he loves to hear himself talk because words have power. If you think he and Kong have done a lot to get Abyss back, you haven’t seen anything yet. Cue James Mitchell of all people, who says that he sees a lot of himself in Jacobs. They’re both evil geniuses and Kong is an impressive monster, though James has one of his own. He sold his soul to make Abyss World Champion but eventually the note came due.

Abyss was pushed so far that his personality split into Joseph Park. Mitchell doesn’t like what he’s been seeing done to the Park family (Wait, is Park a real person or a made up personality? How can he have family if the personality isn’t real?) but Jacobs doesn’t want to hear the lecture. Actually, James is here to thank him for bringing the monster back. Cue Abyss and the brawl is on with Kong being knocked to the floor. Next week: Monster’s Ball. Nice segment, but the idea of where Kong is going after the feud with Abyss scares me.

Video on Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary and their fight to be the queen of the Knockouts. Of course this is different than being Knockouts Champion but that goes without saying.

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie

Rosemary wastes no time with a spear and right hands to send Taya outside. That’s fine with Rosemary who spears her off the apron and hits a high crossbody back inside. A charge hits post though and Taya kicks her hard in the ribs to take over. Rosemary snaps back up with a German suplex before biting Taya’s leg.

That earns her a double stomp though and Taya rams the painted face into the corner. Taya makes fun of the ROSEMARY chants and hits a hard faceplant. The Road to Valhalla is broken up but a curb stomp knocks Rosemary silly. A moonsault misses though and Rosemary hits a Cactus Clothesline to send them both outside. They keep slugging it out and that’s a double countout at 7:33.

Rating: C-. I like that ending a lot as there’s no need to have the feud end already or to have one of them get a clean fall. This is the kind of thing that could be done far more often as there’s no definitive winner and the feud should continue. They also have chemistry together and a big, violent gimmick match could be a lot of fun.

Post match Taya gives her another Road to Valhalla on the stage.

An anxious Eli Drake is on the phone and Chris Adonis (never shown) isn’t going to be here tonight. Drake fires him from whatever official role he had. I’m actually surprised that they’re acknowledging Adonis walking out on the company and it’s very nice for a change of pace. All it took was a thirty second segment and Adonis is wrapped up for good.

Ethan Carter III talks about it being his destiny to get the right briefcase and become World Heavyweight Champion again.

Aries vs. El Patron is confirmed for the Redemption pay per view on April 22.

Next week: Allie defends the Knockouts Title against Sienna and Monster’s Ball.

Earlier today, Brian Cage was in the empty Impact Zone when Bobby Lashley came in. Lashley didn’t need the help but if Cage wants a fight, all he has to do is ask. Cage walks away.

LAX is watching Feast or Fired to find out who is up next.

Here’s Matt Sydal to announce his spiritual guide: Josh Matthews. Dutt loses his mind as Josh comes to the ring to talk about how he’s enlightened. He’s spent months trying to enlighten the fans and now wants us to put our hands together and center ourselves. Josh presents him with something like a cat mask, which Sydal calls his spirit animal. Matt says if he’s a champion, so is Josh, and he hands him the Grand Championship. Dutt: “That’s it I quit.” I like the idea of Josh as a heel but….this is a bit out there no?

Feast or Fired

Eli Drake, Tyrus, Petey Williams, KM, Moose, Caleb Konley, Trevor Lee, Ethan Carter III, Rohit Raju, Taiji Ishimori

Dutt is now on commentary by himself. There’s a briefcase above each corner with three title shots (World, X-Division and Tag Team) plus a pink slip. Four people will get cases and the rest get nothing. It’s a brawl to start (as it will likely be all match) until we’re down to Drake and Moose alone in the ring. That’s a bit too much in the ring though as they fight outside, only to be replaced by Raju and Ishimori.

Petey comes back in with some dropkicks as this is firmly in the revolving door period. The Cult of Lee comes in and beats the X-Division guys down for a bit but are dropkicked outside as well. Naturally Ishimori dives onto the floor instead of going up, leaving Petey to hit a Canadian Destroyer on Lee. Petey gets Case #2 and we take a break. Back with Dutt telling us no one got a case during the break (thank you) and Moose cleaning house.

Carter cuts him off with an elbow but Moose makes a save and gets Case #4. Josh rejoins commentary as Ishimori takes his shirt off. The Cult of Lee gets beaten down by Raju but here’s the angry Tyrus to start tossing the suplexes. Carter cuts him off with a low blow though and Case #3 is collected. He even knocks Tyrus silly with a case shot for good measure. Ishimori is alone on top but decides to crossbody Drake instead. A few Gravy Trains and a run up the ropes for a release German superplex allow Drake to pull down Case #1 at 17:50.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches where it’s really hard to give it a grade. The action was nothing to see and since most of the people involved aren’t hurt by their outcome, it makes for a weird match. It wasn’t one of the more interesting Feast of Fired matches, but then again these are hard to make interesting by definition.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s never a good sign when I can barely remember what happened on the show just after it ended. The wrestling wasn’t the point here but you can see a lot of where they’re going for Redemption. At least they started setting stuff up here as they don’t have a ton of pay per views in the first place. Use the time you have and set something up. Not a terrible show here at all, but the lack of people to fill out the card due to the main event hurt things.

Results

Sami Callihan b. Fallah Bahh – Death Valley Driver

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie went to a double countout

Petey Williams, Moose, Ethan Carter III and Eli Drake won Feast or Fired

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s the week before the big Crossroads show and that means it’s time to build things up a bit. Next week’s main event will see Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact in what could be an awesome match. Other than that though we’re likely in for more build towards Abyss vs. Kongo Kong, because that’s what we need to see. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s review.

The opening video looks at Ethan Carter III and Tyrus reuniting and then splitting up in very short order. That’s the smart move considering Carter is leaving.

Opening sequence.

Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus

Carter runs his mouth (as is his custom) and is promptly shoved out to the floor. Back in and Carter gets shoved outside again as Josh talks about all the other companies they’ll be visiting soon. Carter stalls a lot, including messing with a fan’s phone, before going back in to have his arm cranked.

Chops and running clotheslines have no effect on Tyrus and it’s Carter being crushed in the corner. A charge misses though and Carter gets in a few shots to the back. Carter’s middle rope ax handle drops Tyrus and we hit the cravate. Tyrus shrugs it off and hits a corner splash before hitting his own 1%er. The Tongan Death Grip slam is enough to end Carter at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Assuming this is it for Carter, I’ll give this one a break with him leaving the company for blacker and yellower pastures. It’s certainly a better way to have him go out than having Dixie Carter grab his foot and beg him to stay. I’m not sure on Tyrus being the one to get the rub but it’s better than having Carter just leave.

Joseph Park is going to fight Kongo Kong tonight on his own, but neither he nor his family seems to give him much of a chance.

OVE and Sami Callihan say this is no longer fun and games. Violence takes place tonight.

Josh and Sonjay are in a studio to preview the rest of the show. Better than them saying they’re ringside every week.

El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter

Hijo’s Latin American Championship isn’t on the line and there’s no entrance for Sutter. Hijo shoulders him down to start as Josh plugs the network, featuring a bunch of names that aren’t around anymore. Some clotheslines put Fantasma down for two but the chinlock doesn’t last very long. A backbreaker gives Fantasma two and a jumping superkick puts Sutter on the floor for the hard suicide dive. Back in and Sutter powerbombs him for two with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Fantasma’s Thrill of the Hunt (Samoan Driver) is good for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: C-. This felt like angle advancement more than anything else as Fantasma is now a big deal around here because he’s a big deal in AAA. Sutter on the other hand….what happened? He and Allie should have been moved up several notches last year off the wedding angle but instead we’re here, seeing him losing in five minutes. I’m sure this was the best possible use for him though.

Post match Sutter yells about how Allie isn’t here because she ruins lives. He’s the biggest star in the company….and cue Brian Cage to wreck Sutter in short order.

Matt Sydal wants to share his spiritual adviser with the world.

Sydal is ready to win the X-Division Title next week but Taiji Ishimori comes in with his own scroll, asking if Sydal will make it title for title. No answer is given.

Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park

Park goes after him but gets dropped with a single shot to the chest. Kong hammers away in the corner and Park’s headbutt knocks himself down. The top rope splash puts Park away at 2:14.

Post match Jimmy Jacobs gets in while Kong chokes Park. They still want Abyss and this is just getting started.

The Cult of Lee is having a party when the Mumbai Cats come in. After making fun of the masked men and not letting them have a drink, Konnan comes in to wonder why the Cult of Lee isn’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. They say Konnan is here before and if you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t been watching wrestling long. LAX throws Lee and Konley into the pool.

Alberto El Patron should be #1 contender. Well to be fair he hasn’t had a World Title match in like two weeks at this point.

Rosemary vs. Hania

Rosemary wastes no time in hammering away at the chest and gets two off a clothesline. A very early Red Wedding attempt is broken up but Rosemary is right back up with her figure four neck lock over the ropes. Hania gets dropped with a dropkick and a t-bone suplex for two. A spear into the Red Wedding is good for the pin on Hania at 3:13. Total squash.

Rating: D. Odds are that’s it for Hania and other than a look, I’m not sure what else she had to offer. This was complete destruction with Hania getting in absolutely nothing, which should tell you that she’s either done or not exactly thought of in the first place. Rosemary getting back towards the title is a good idea though and she should be going after the title in short order.

Post match Rosemary says Hania was just a puppy and now it’s time to bring the Knockouts Title back to the shadow. Rosemary dubs herself the Alpha B**** but here’s the returning Taya Valkyrie to disagree. Taya says the only truth in that is the B**** part but it should be Taya’s, not Alpha. They both go to the apron but Taya jumps her from behind. The Road to Valhalla on the ramp drops Rosemary.

This week’s classic clip: Eddie Edwards wins the World Title from Bobby Lashley.

We get a somewhat creepy video on Laurel Van Ness’ rocky road, including her near wedding to Braxton Sutter, going crazy, nearly marrying Grado, and now her commitment ceremony to the Knockouts Title.

KM, the minister for the ceremony, brings the title, with a bow tie, to the ring. Laurel comes out in a dress with the lipstick being all over the place as usual. She wants him to get to the good part, meaning the objections. Cue Braxton, now in a neck brace, to interrupt. He was dropped on his head earlier and Laurel flashed before his eyes. A year ago, he made a huge mistake when he left her at the altar. He proposes, but she screams NO over and over. KM: “EPIC FAIL BRO!” Laurel asks for more objections and even shouts a request for them. Cue Allie, in a black body suit which isn’t really necessary as she’s sneaking in, to jump Laurel and ruin the ceremony.

The announcers preview next week’s show.

Video on Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title next week.

Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive five seconds in but Sami rolls back in to hit one of his own eleven seconds in. Eddie hits another though and we get to thirty seconds on the replays. Some chops rock Sami and OVE is ejected for a distraction. Sami gets in an apron kick to the face though and we take a break. Back with Eddie fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away, but getting caught in a piledriver on the apron. Since this is a regular TV match though, Sami doesn’t even bother to cover.

Eddie fights out of something like a standing Crossface and kicks Sami in the face to catch him on top. A superplex brings Sami back down for no cover as Eddie can’t follow up. The Backpack Stunner gets two but Sami is right back with the running knee in the corner. A slingshot suplex neckbreaker gives Sami two and an exchange of kicks to the head puts both guys down. Sami loads up a powerbomb but Eddie backdrops into a cradle for the pin at 15:04.

Rating: C+. I liked this better than most Sami matches as it actually felt like a match. I’m still not sure why Sami and OVE are going after Lashley and Eddie but I’m guessing it’s something to do with the team being insane. Eddie winning makes sense as it’s not like a member of the team losing a singles match to a former World Champion is a huge blow.

Overall Rating: C. You can see where they’re going with a lot of stuff and they set up next week’s show well enough. The World Title match didn’t need a ton of hype as that’s big enough on its own standing. The wrestling wasn’t anything great here but at least we’re getting towards the big show. If that works, then this doesn’t matter nearly as much. Pretty standard buildup show here and I can settle for that.

Results

Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam

El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt

Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash

Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 22, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

We’re back again after last week’s major main event with Austin Aries successfully defending the World Title against Eli Drake. Johnny Impact is the #1 contender so we have a big match coming up in the near future but for tonight, we have….actually I’m not sure so let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s review in case you need to catch up.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, including a look at the big stories. That’s a very good idea and something they should do more often.

Opening sequence.

LAX vs. Cult of Lee

Non-title with LAX going right after Lee and Konley for the big brawl before the bell. They finally head inside with Ortiz chopping Lee and getting two off a suplex. Konley comes in and gets caught with a basement clothesline for two. Santana adds a moonsault (using Ortiz as a launching pad) for two more and it’s Konley getting double teamed in the corner. That’s not something you often see from faces but LAX aren’t your usual faces.

Lee pulls Santana to the floor though and Konley snaps off a Saito suplex to take over. The announcers try to talk up the cult aspect of the villains and it’s just not working. Don’t you need more than one follower to be a cult leader? Even Bray Wyatt would find that lame. Lee drops a knee to the head as Dutt talks about being a gamer. Ortiz can’t fight out of the corner as we go to a break.

Back with Lee kicking Santana off the apron but Ortiz hits a top rope double dropkick. That’s enough for the hot tag to Santana as things speed way up in a hurry. Konley takes an enziguri and it’s a wheelbarrow facebuster/cutter combination to Lee with Konley making the save. The Street Sweeper is broken up though and Lee grabs a rollup (with a lot of shorts) to pin Ortiz at 13:31.

Rating: C. The ending picked things up a lot and the ending was the right call. The Cult of Lee isn’t the most over team in the world so having them win here should put them up for a title shot. That’s as good of a way as you’re going to have when the division is primarily three teams, the other of which are also heels. This wasn’t anything spectacular but it accomplished its goal.

Brian Cage vs. Hunter Law

Dropkick, gorilla press powerslam, discus lariat, Drill Claw (Screwdriver) to end Law at 1:11.

Eddie Edwards and Bobby Lashley are ready to take out OVE.

From Destiny World Wrestling in Toronto.

Grand Championship: Matt Sydal vs. Petey Williams

Sydal is defending and the camera shot is over a ring post (ala the old Maple Leaf Gardens shows). Matt offers a clean break as the fans are all behind Petey (of course). Petey shrugs off a headlock and scores with a headscissors, followed by a dropkick for two. Something like a reverse Muta Lock puts Petey in trouble for a few seconds and we’re clipped to Petey hitting a lifting Downward Spiral.

Sydal grabs a sliding German suplex but Petey is right back with the slingshot Codebreaker. The Sharpshooter has the fans all happy again but Sydal makes the rope. Sydal’s shooting star doesn’t work so Petey powerbombs him down. The Canadian Destroyer is broken up as well though with Sydal driving him down instead and getting the pin at 5:49 shown.

Rating: C-. And it’s in Canada! Like really, that’s the entire appeal of this match: it’s taking place at a small promotion in Canada. I’m not sure why that’s supposed to be interesting and it’s certainly not just a way to stretch out the shows without having to film more at the Impact Zone. Nothing to see here, other than Canada of course.

Post match Sydal grabs a scroll and talks about his spiritual adviser telling him to wrestle like you’re in a war. On March 8, Sydal wants an X-Division Title match. But will it be in CANADA?

Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong want Abyss.

Here are Jacobs and Kong for a chat. Jacobs declares himself to be a princess and recaps the invasion of Joseph Park’s offices. He’s done being nice though and wants Abyss to come play with the new monster. Cue an older lady, who turns out to be Grandma Jenny Park. She calls the two of them sissies because Joseph is like a son to her.

Jimmy insults her and gets slapped in the face so Kong gets in Jenny’s face. This brings out Joseph who defends his Grandma (after thanking her for a delicious Thanksgiving) but Jimmy threatens her if Abyss doesn’t come back. Joseph decks him but Kong lays Park out. This is a fine story, but egads I can’t bring myself to care about Jacobs or Kong in the slightest.

Sydal is on the phone with his adviser.

We look at Lashley vs. Edwards from Destination X 2016, featuring the debut of Moose.

From Future Stars Wrestling in Las Vegas.

Alberto El Patron vs. Moose

Anything goes with a slightly better lit arena. Moose drives him into the corner to start and Alberto heads to the floor for some water. This time it’s Moose being taken to the floor with Alberto doing the Moose pose and sending him into the barricade. That earns El Patron a pump kick to the face as the announcers mention that Moose’s knee seems ok, likely because this took place before he was hurt.

They fight into the crowd with Alberto sending him out the door and getting in a trashcan shot. Alberto brings the can into the ring and we’re clipped to Moose being cut off by a low blow. A DDT drops Moose again and the top rope double stomp gives Alberto the pin at 6:43 shown.

From the early days: Brian Urlacher beats up Johnny Fairplay.

Video on Rosemary vs. Hania.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus are officially allies again (Carter’s words) and they’re like the Avengers combined. Ethan is ready to win the #1 contendership and then get the title back at Crossroads.

OVE vs. Bobby Lashley/Eddie Edwards

It’s another brawl to start as Dutt gives us Edwards’ career history. Lashley gives Dave a very delayed suplex, followed by a double back elbow for two. Dave manages to drive Eddie into the corner though and it’s Jake hammering away. A big kick to the face gets two and Sami Callihan drops Eddie back first onto the apron.

With Eddie down, Jake needs to shout OHIO VERSUS EVERYTHING into the camera because that’s almost the entire gimmick. Eddie knocks them both down and the hot tag brings in Lashley for clotheslines and suplexes. Jake gets powerslammed and Eddie hits a double Shot of Caffeine. Back in and the Boston Knee Party ends Jake at 8:11.

Rating: C. Ever since the heel turn, OVE has turned into a chore to watch. Maybe it’s Sami yelling every ten seconds or maybe it’s them getting rid of their interesting/cool offense and shifting to a generic brawling style, but they’ve lost anything about them that was remotely interesting. The match was fine, though the tag division still needs A LOT of upgrades.

Video on Aries vs. Drake. Eli promises to get the title back because that’s what he deserves.

The Cult of Lee gets their Tag Team Titles hot in two weeks at Crossroads.

Also at Crossroads, Kong vs. Park.

Ethan Carter III vs. Johnny Impact

Impact’s #1 contendership is on the line and Tyrus is in Ethan’s corner. Just to hammer it in, Tyrus breaks Johnny’s sunglasses. Ethan bails to the floor for a bit before a quick wrestling sequence ends with Johnny’s leglock being countered into a standoff. Johnny gets taken down and chinlocked, only to fight up with the breakdancing legdrop for two. An enziguri looks to set up a springboard but Carter knocks him out to the floor instead.

Back from a break with Tyrus hitting an elbow to Johnny’s chest and Ethan getting two off a suplex. We hit a chinlock followed by a DDT, though Johnny pops up for a superkick for a double knockdown. Johnny’s standing shooting star gets two but Starship Pain is countered into a rollup into a powerbomb for the same. A Spanish Fly gets two on Ethan but he counters Starship Pain again into a super TK3 for another near fall.

The 1%er is broken up (You knew it would be as he wasn’t looking at the camera. Gotta learn that in NXT chum.) but Tyrus trips Johnny up, allowing Ethan to put his feet on the ropes for two. Ethan gets caught up in those ropes and Johnny adds a sliding German suplex. Starship Pain is broken up AGAIN (this time by Tyrus) and the 1%er connects for two. For some reason Ethan blames Tyrus, who walks out in short order. Johnny’s flip neckbreaker into Starship Pain is good for the pin at 18:15.

Rating: B. I liked this one more than last week’s with a very solid back and forth match. There’s also the idea of Tyrus and Carter already splitting, which makes sense as Carter is on his way out. Impact vs. Aries should be a good match and feels like an indy show main event, which is about as accurate as you can get here.

Austin Aries comes out for a staredown with Impact to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The more I watch this promotion, the more it comes off as an independent promotion with a budget. They’re booking show to show (which is fine), people are being brought in or back in and the quick stories that don’t have a lot of long term developments. That’s their best bet at the moment as they start over (again) and it made for an inoffensive yet not exactly memorable two hours.

Results

Cult of Lee b. LAX – Rollup to Ortiz with a handful of shorts

Brian Cage b. Hunter Law – Drill Claw

Matt Sydal b. Petey Williams – Kneeling belly to back piledriver

Alberto El Patron b. Moose – Top rope double stomp

Eddie Edwards/Bobby Lashley b. OVE – Boston Knee Party to Jake

Johnny Impact b. Ethan Carter III – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 15, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Sonjay Dutt, Josh Matthews

It’s a big night here with Austin Aries defending the World Title against Eli Drake in a rematch from the impromptu title change two weeks ago. While I can’t imagine another title change, I do like the idea of Drake, who was a good champion, getting a regular title match instead of the thirty second version. Let’s get to it.

Austin Aries is ready to show the world the real him tonight. Just in case they’ve forgotten him, he’s the greatest man that ever lived.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Callihan

Lashley is on him before the bell with a clothesline but gets kicked in the face. That just earns Sami another clothesline before Lashley beats up OVE. The distraction lets Sami get in another shot though and he sends Lashley right back to the floor. A tornado DDT on the floor drops Lashley again and OVE grabs his legs on the way back in. Sami dumps Lashley AGAIN as this is getting a little repetitive in the early going.

Outside again and Sami spits in his hand for a chop against the barricade and Lashley is tossed into the apron. One heck of a spear cuts Sami down though and we take a break. Back with Sami charging into a boot in the corner and getting taken down with a running crossbody. The spear is awkwardly caught in a guillotine but Lashley powers out again. Sami ties him up in the corner for a sitout powerbomb but the kicks to the face just make Lashley mad. A Dominator sets up the spear to give Lashley….two as OVE comes in for the DQ at 14:34.

Rating: D. I know Sami is kind of revered but I’m not sure I get it. He’s a better character than in-ring worker (assuming you go for the shouting promos) and that makes for a bit of a rough sit when the match is fourteen minutes long. It wasn’t the worst but Sami isn’t the best option for a regular match. All of the going outside for OVE interference didn’t help either.

Post match the beatdown is on but Eddie Edwards makes the save.

Eli Drake says he’s still World Champion because this is his first match with Aries. He can’t stop being World Champion and he’s not stopping tonight.

LAX has plans for later.

We look back at Braxton Sutter and Laurel Van Ness’ wedding from last year, which was broken up by Allie. As usual, this showcases a lot of people not even in the company anymore. It might have helped if Sutter had done ANYTHING after this.

Allie arrives, hears a crazy laugh, and finds another note from her secret admirer.

Aries has been around the world collecting titles and he’s not about to lose tonight. Drake better have been getting ready for the last two weeks because he’s not ready for what’s coming for him.

Moose isn’t happy with how last week’s four way went down and it’s Alberto El Patron jumping him to trigger a brawl.

Hania the Huntress vs. Rosemary

Rosemary spears her down to start and slugs away in the corner but Hania wins the battle of right hands. A spinwheel kick gives Hania two but the headscissor choke over the ropes has Hania in trouble. Back in and Hania kicks her down again as the announcers talk about the main event instead of paying attention to the match. Hania hits a high crossbody but Rosemary rolls through for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Who is Hania? I know she’s a Huntress and has attacked Rosemary, but who is she? Why did she attack Rosemary? I know she’s not the biggest character in the world but a vignette or promo from her explaining ANYTHING about her would be very appreciated. Of course we’re not going to get that because we need more of LAX talking about tequila, but it would help us know a little something about her.

Post match Hania loads up the reverse DDT on the steps but Rosemary bites the arm and seems to like the taste.

Johnny Impact isn’t sure about Matt Sydal’s stretching but it’s what the spiritual adviser recommended.

Tyrus is back to be Ethan Carter III’s mystery partner. I’m not sure that’s how a mystery works.

Allie goes to where the note said to meet the admirer and finds a box of chocolates and a card. The card says LVN and Laurel Van Ness pops out of an anvil case, earning a very quick shot to the head with the chocolates. Allie beats her up a bit and throws Laurel back into the case, which she kicks for good measure.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Johnny Impact/Matt Sydal

Matt won’t shake Ethan’s hand to start so it’s off to Johnny without any offense. Sydal comes back in and armbars Ethan down but Tyrus runs everyone over. A good looking flip sends Johnny sailing over Tyrus for a tag to Sydal, who is cut off by a headbutt to the chest. It’s back to Carter for a cravate before Tyrus is back in with a running splash in the corner.

Carter gives up the hot tag though and it’s Johnny coming back in for a bunch of kicks. Sydal loads up the shooting star but dives onto Tyrus instead, getting driven into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and the Flying Chuck is broken up and Carter grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: D+. So Tyrus is back. Uh….does anyone have anything interesting to say about this? He’s the same guy he was before he left and that’s not exactly thrilling news. Tyrus can fill in a spot on the roster and be a tag partner for Carter, but it’s not like this is the biggest deal in the world. The match was nothing great but they didn’t keep them out there too long.

Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong go to Joseph Park’s law offices (Which we established didn’t exist YEARS AGO but now they do again for the sake of the story.). Things are destroyed in the name of bringing Abyss back.

Brian Cage vs. John Cruz

Cage throws him around and a wicked powerbomb into a buckle bomb have Cruz in even more trouble. A Steiner Screwdriver ends Cruz at 1:17. Exactly what it should have been.

X-Division Title: Taiji Ishimori vs. El Hijo De Fantasma

Ishimori is defending and we get a long explanation about the champ’s theme song. Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs demanding the return of Abyss. Fantasma gets two off a big boot and grabs a leglock to send Ishimori crawling over to the ropes. We hit a double arm crank and take a break with the champ in trouble.

Back with Ishimori hitting a springboard seated senton as Josh says who is in which colors. Now why does no one else know to do that? Ishimori hits a big flip dive to the floor but gets caught with some knees to the head. Fantasma hits a suicide dive (which is nowhere near as good as he’s done it before) but Ishimori is right back up with a running hurricanrana down the ramp. Back in and Ishimori drops him on his head, setting up the 450 to retain at 13:02.

Rating: B-. The matches are entertaining and if that’s all you’re looking for out of them, you’re going to be fine. The division has long since given up on the idea of anything interesting in the form of characters or storylines so just sit back and enjoy a bunch of high flying. Anything else is wishful thinking and that’s been the case for a long time.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Eli Drake

Aries is defending and comes out with four titles, including the Defiant Wrestling World Title (and the IPW-UK and World Series Wrestling (Australia) Titles). The fact that Impact Wrestling and What Culture have the same champion and that their title is making it onto national TV is either an amazing success story or a sign of how far this company has fallen. The threat of the Last Chancery sends Drake bailing to the floor in short order and it’s time for a breather.

Aries does his bouncing escape from a headscissors and dropkicks the seated Drake. Back up and Drake takes over with a few right hands, followed by some shoulders in the corner as we take a break. Back with Aries hitting a running elbow drop but charging into an elbow to the face. A neckbreaker gives Drake two and it’s time for the comeback with Aries getting the better of a slugout. Aries gets two off a missile dropkick and smacks Drake around the ears.

Drake is right back up and runs the corner for something like a front facelock superplex for two. An AA gets two and Aries is right back to his feet, sending Drake to the floor. The suicide dive takes Chris Adonis down instead and Aries has to make sure he didn’t kill a fan. Back in and the Gravy Train is reversed into the Last Chancery but Aries has to deck Adonis. Not that it matters as another Gravy Train is reversed into the brainbuster to retain Aries’ title at 16:28.

Rating: B. This was your run of the mill big time Impact main event: completely serviceable but not exactly with any kind of drama. You know they’re not going back to Drake, at least not anytime soon. Aries getting a big and definitive win was a good thing and something his reign needed to get off on the right foot. I’m not sure where Drake goes now but he’s earned the right to stay pretty high up on the card.

Overall Rating: C+. Not bad at all but as usual, the lack of any real fire hurt things a lot. The wrestling was up and down all night and while the main event was good, it’s not a match that I’m going to remember in a day or so. That’s a major problem for this entire company: there’s very little that stands out and I don’t feel like I’m connected to any of these wrestlers. Certainly not a bad show, but it’s stuck in the same bubble it’s been in for a long time now.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Sami Callihan via DQ when OVE interfered

Rosemary b. Hania the Huntress – Reversed crossbody

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus b. Johnny Impact/Matt Sydal – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Brian Cage b. John Cruz – Steiner Screwdriver

Taiji Ishimori b. El Hijo De Fantasma – 450

Austin Aries b. Eli Drake – Last Chancery

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 8, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s a new era around here and that started last week with some big time changes. Well mainly one as Austin Aries returned to the company and won the World Title in a big surprise last week. Now we head towards the next pay per view in April, but there’s a lot of stuff to get through first. Let’s get to it.

We look back at Aries returning and winning the title last week, including a quick bio for those of you unfamiliar with him.

El Hijo de Fantasma/Rohit Kaju vs. Taiji Ishimori/Matt Sydal

Kaju is a newcomer. Fantasma and Ishimori get things going as Dutt (who has a very good voice for announcing) talks about the new Indian faction the Desi Hit Squad. They feel each other out to start without much happening early on. Instead it’s off to Sydal to work on Kaju’s arm, followed by some shots to the leg.

Ishimori comes in and works on the leg as well, only to get caught in a neckbreaker to put both guys down. Back from a break with everything breaking down and Kaju hitting a suicide dive onto Sydal. Back in and Ishimori gets caught in an armbar, only to get up without much effort and bring Sydal in again. Matt fires off the chops in the corner but Fantasma throws Sydal into a knee from Kaju for two. Everything breaks down (again) and Ishimori’s top rope double knees sets up Sydal’s Shooting Star to pin Kaju at 15:45.

Rating: C. Another match here with a bunch of people being thrown into the ring at once without much particular rhyme or reason. There should be more to a match with three champions involved (Fantasma is AAA Latin American Champion) but that’s how things work in Impact: just throw people out there and hope for the best. Kaju was pretty average but nothing terrible.

Austin Aries was having a press conference after winning the title and said he doesn’t have a contract. So he’s Cody from Ring of Honor last year. He’s not worried about losing the title at a non-Impact event because, come on, he’s Austin Aries. Eli Drake storms in and wants a rematch so it’s on for next week.

We see a very long portion of Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries from Destination X 2012 with Aries winning the World Title for the first time.

Cult of Lee vs. Tech

Yes Tech, comprised of Monroe and Reed. The Cult has LAX’s bandannas around their faces and the beating is on in a hurry. Lee throws Reed around and it’s already time for the Cult to start taking turns on him in the corner. They’re not wasting time tonight. A double elbow gives Konley two but it’s heel miscommunication to set up the hot(ish) tag to Monroe. That’s cut off in short order though and a spike piledriver is enough to give Konley the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match here to keep the Cult of Lee going. They’re not exactly interesting but it’s much better to move them away from the X-Division. There’s nothing else they can do there and the tag division needs them far more. Maybe they can do something and maybe they can’t but they need a chance and that’s what they’re getting.

Post match Konnan pops up on screen to say LAX is coming for the Cult.

Allie gives Kieran Hogan a pep talk when someone brings her a big envelope. It’s a massive Valentines Day card, inviting her to meet whoever sent it next week.

Knockouts Title: Laurel Van Ness vs. Kieran Hogan

Van Ness is defending after Hogan got a fluke pin last week. Laurel wastes no time in throwing Kieran into the corner to start and some hair mares give the champ two. A twist of the wrist puts Hogan down on the mat and a curb stomp makes things even worse. The Unprettier is broken up and Hogan grabs the same rollup she used for the pin last week, only to get two this week. Instead it’s a bicycle kick to the face before the Unprettier can retain Laurel’s title at 4:10.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would have expected it to be as Hogan didn’t do anything to win the previous match. It’s fine to have her get a hope spot with the rollup but it’s not like anyone was really expecting her to win the title here. Laurel can move on to her big match with Allie and that’s where she belongs.

Post match Laurel stays on Kieran until Allie makes the save. Makes sense.

Cage debuts next week.

Someone is filming Lashley.

Ethan Carter III is ready to win the #1 contenders match and go on to become an EC3 Time World Champion.

Video on Aries vs. Drake.

Jimmy Jacobs says he’s not a bad guy but he wants Abyss here. If Joseph Park won’t bring Abyss, they’ll make him do it.

Sydal talks about his spiritual adviser bringing out what it took to win the match earlier. Ishimori is with him and Sydal wishes him luck in next week’s title defense against Fantasma. I’m still not feeling any of these people.

OVE jumps Lashley and puts him in the trunk of a car.

Hania the Huntress vs. Amber Nova

This is Hania’s in-ring debut. Amber tries a quick crucifix for two but gets take into the corner by the bigger Hania. A sunset flip gives Nova two and some bad looking dropkicks keep Hania in trouble. Amber grabs a hurricanrana but uses it to pull Hania face first into the buckle in a cool move. Another hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb though and a reverse DDT gives Hania the pin at 3:27.

Rating: D. Another quick match here to establish Hania, who has a great look and got to show off a lot here. Nova wasn’t bad either though and that’s a good sign for the future of the division. They need some fresh blood to fill in the lack of Gail Kim (oh I’m sure we’re not done with her yet, at least in some form) and these two work well enough.

Post match Rosemary jumps Hania in revenge for a few weeks back.

Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Moose vs. Ethan Carter III

The winner gets a World Title shot at some point in the future. Everyone fights to the floor to start and it’s an early double teaming to keep Moose in early trouble. Impact is put down as well and it’s Moose being taken back inside for a double whip into the corner. Johnny comes back in to beat on the villains but gets thrown down again.

As is always the case, Carter and El Patron get in a fight over who gets to go for the pin, allowing Impact to come in with a corkscrew dive to take them both down. Moose is back up to throw everyone around, only to have Impact drop him as well. Everyone slugs it out and we take a break. Back with the brawl heading into the crowd with Moose being thrown into a fence. He comes up holding his knee, leaving the other three to fight on the other side of the crowd.

Johnny steals someone’s crutches and beats on both guys, which he doesn’t even give back. Instead Alberto throws Johnny into the trash but he comes back with what looked like a can to the head. Back in and Johnny gets DDT’d, only to reverse a double superplex. Johnny can’t powerbomb both guys but Moose limps back in and takes Cater, allowing Johnny to powerbomb Alberto.

Moose throws people around but the knee is keeping him from running. Johnny reverses a powerbomb into the hurricanrana though and Carter plants Moose with the 1%er. The flip neckbreaker gives Johnny two on Carter but Alberto comes back in with the Backstabber on Impact. The cross armbreaker has Carter in trouble until Moose makes another save. Moose goes outside with Alberto, leaving Johnny to roll Carter up for the pin at 20:33.

Rating: B-. Moose’s knee injury (which is apparently legitimate) considered, this was about as good as it could have been. You’re only going to get so far with the same four way tropes and the same match that we’ve done so many times. It was energetic but the spots were the same and that doesn’t make for anything all that exciting. Impact winning is the best call as Impact vs. Aries feels like a big deal.

Overall Rating: D+. While not a terrible show, there really wasn’t much to see here. They were trying to do some new stuff but it felt a lot like the Canada tapings: they’re just throwing new people out there and not really giving us time to get to know them. Now this was nowhere near as bad because the new names weren’t getting big spots, but it still feels like they’re restarting again. When you do that this often, it gets old in a hurry and that’s what happened here. Not the worst and not boring, but there wasn’t much of a spark.

One more note: Dutt was very good on commentary, sounding both knowledgeable, excited and interesting at the same time.

Results

Taiji Ishimori/Matt Sydal b. Rohit Kaju/El Hijo de Fantasma – Shooting star press to Kaju

Cult of Lee b. Tech – Spike piledriver to Monroe

Laurel Van Ness b. Kieran Hogan – Unprettier

Hania the Huntress b. Amber Nova – Reverse DDT

Johnny Impact b. Alberto El Patron, Moose and Ethan Carter III – Rollup to Carter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for a new fresh taping cycle but also a fresh regime in charge of things. I mean, to be fair it had been a few months since everything was shaken up. This is the start of the taping cycle to take us all the way to the next pay per view in April, meaning it’s likely time to shake up a lot of things. Let’s get to it.

Someone’s legs arrived earlier today. As usual, panning up is out of the question.

Opening sequence.

We look back at last week’s show, showing every result including Matt Sydal winning the Grand Championship, Laurel Van Ness cheating to retain the Knockouts Title, Lashley losing to Moose and destroying Dan Lambert in retaliation and Eli Drake retaining the World Title in a triple threat. Only the triple threat involves someone who hasn’t left the promotion since the matches were taped.

Opening sequence.

The four sided ring is back, thank goodness.

Grand Championship: Matt Sydal vs. Fallah Bahh

Sydal is defending and it’s just a regular match again. Before the match, Matt gives credit to his new unnamed spiritual adviser. Bahh shoves him around with ease to start and knocks Sydal away for daring to throw some kicks. Sydal tries a sunset flip but is smart enough to pull himself up before he can be crushed. A sliding dropkick puts Bahh down and a spinwheel kick does the same.

Sydal starts in on the leg and it’s a YES Kick into a standing moonsault for two. Bahh gets back up so Sydal hits some top rope knees to bring him down again. Back up and Bahh scores with some big fat chops and a Samoan drop despite not being Samoan. That rolling splash gives Bahh two but Sydal kicks him over the top to break up a Banzai drop. Back in and Bahh misses another drop, setting up the shooting star press to retain Sydal’s title at 7:34.

Rating: C-. I still don’t get the appeal of Bahh but he seems to be gaining one of those cult followings. That being said, this wasn’t at all about Bahh as Sydal gets a first title defense under his (newly won) belt and can wait around until he gets a big time challenger. The spiritual adviser screams heel turn, which wouldn’t exactly surprise me given how often TNA likes to go in that direction.

We look back at Lashley turning on American Top Team, including spearing both KM and Dan Lambert. About time but that’s kind of an anti-climactic ending to the story.

Trevor Lee assures Caleb Konley that he’s five steps ahead of everyone so the team will be fine. I just want to know what was up with the semi-Hawaiian shirts.

KM vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley slugs away to start and let’s plug that list of people you can’t see in TNA anymore but CAN see if you buy their Network! KM talks some trash but gets taken down twice in a row. An early spear attempt sees Lashley go shoulder first into the post and we take a break. Back with KM grabbing a chinlock and demanding the referee ask for a submission a few times.

Lashley misses another charge and falls to the floor, allowing KM to actually hit a running flip dive. KM misses a slingshot splash back inside though and gets taken down by a crossbody of all things. Lashley’s powerslam gets two but he walks into a pumphandle slam for the same. Not that it matters as Lashley spears him down for the pin at 11:58.

Rating: C. KM was better than usual here but that’s not exactly covering a lot of ground. The guy isn’t interesting and putting him in American Top Team for a few weeks didn’t do him any good. At this point he’s just a warm body who can’t do anything special and that’s not exactly the kind of thing that this company needs at the moment.

We recap Kongo Kong destroying Chandler Park two weeks back.

Joseph Park is on the phone with Grandma Jenny when Jimmy Jacobs comes up to say he wants Abyss back to face Kong. As usual, Kong is worthless.

Lashley is going to focus on wrestling and MMA but blows off Eddie Edwards.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Kiera Hogan

Non-title. Laurel works on the arm to start and pulls her down by the hair. A right hand gets two, followed by a running forearm in the corner for the same. Hogan actually gets in some right hands and a low superkick for two, only to eat a curb stomp. The Unprettier is loaded up but here’s Allie for a distraction, allowing Hogan to grab a rollup for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. Pure angle advancement here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan looked fine here and it’s always good to get some fresh talent into the promotion. Allie getting another shot makes sense after she was cheated out of the title match last week, and it’s not like there are a ton of options at the moment.

The mystery man is now in the building.

Alberto El Patron thinks he should be in the main event as champion but his partner tonight, Ethan Carter III, says follow his lead.

Here is LAX for their first comments since Barbed Wire Massacre. Konnan says they’re still the revolution and you can’t stop that. As for Sami Callihan (Konnan: “The guy was midway through a sex change operation when the doctor said just leave him like that”), they’re always ready for a fight so here’s OVE. Egads FIND A NEW TEAM ALREADY!

Callihan hits the mic against his own head and says they hate everything. They do respect LAX though and things need to end before one of them winds up dead. Sami promises to get the titles back at some point but for now, they have more important things to worry about. Konnan follows them up the aisle and says there are no bigger fish to fry because “we are the whole d*** tuna”. As I ponder the meanings of that line, Konley and Lee jump LAX and beat them down. They’re not exactly a great team but they’re different at least.

Moose and Johnny Impact (who Moose almost calls by all of his old names) are ready to win the tag match.

This week’s old clip: Drew Galloway debuts and beats up Ethan Carter III. Again: STOP SHOWING THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK HERE ANYMORE BEATING UP YOUR (then) CURRENT TALENT!

Eli Drake thinks Chris Adonis brought the mystery man but Adonis says no. Tonight is all about the life of Eli though.

Cage is coming.

Ethan Carter III/Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact/Moose

Johnny and Ethan start things off with Impact spinning out of a wristlock and into one of his own. Moose does his pose and comes in for a dropkick to keep Carter in trouble. The double teaming begins, setting up Impact’s breakdancing legdrop for two. Alberto gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Carter to get in a knee to the ribs so the villains can take over.

Carter drops an elbow and grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before throwing Moose outside. That means a few rams into the barricade, followed by a double suplex for two back inside. The solo suplex is reversed though and it’s a lukewarm tag to Impact. It’s way too early for Starship Pain so Impact settles for the Flying Chuck. Unfortunately that only knocks Carter into his own corner, allowing Alberto to come right back in.

We take a break and come back with Alberto sending Impact into the corner over and over to keep him in trouble. Carter pulls Moose off the apron before coming in for the TK3 and a near fall of his own. A top rope ax handle gives Alberto two but Johnny reverses a belly to back superplex into a crossbody to put both guys down.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Moose, who comes in with a series of running corner dropkicks for two. Alberto ducks the Game Changer and scores with the Backstabber for two of his own. Johnny gets caught in the Tree of Woe and the top rope double stomp connects. Not that it matters as Moose is right there with a hard clothesline to put Alberto away at 18:53.

Rating: C. Totally standard main event style tag here but it’s nice to see Moose getting a big pin like this. The main event scene needs some fresh names after that three way feud ate up the last several months and Moose would be a good addition. I’m rather tired of Alberto vs. Johnny and it would be a good idea to keep them apart for a long time.

Here are Drake and Adonis for the big closing segment. Adonis has a few facts for Drake, starting with Drake being the greatest champion ever. We see a quick highlight reel, followed by the second fact: Drake is greatest dresser to ever live. Finally, we have fact #3: Drake is the greatest friend that ever lived.

For some reason the clip is from Thanksgiving where Adonis had to wear the turkey suit and he’s not happy. Drake says the pie from Thanksgiving was delicious and Adonis rocked the turkey suit. The champ adds up the facts that Adonis laid out and there’s only one conclusion: Drake is the greatest man that ever lived. I think you know where this is going.

Cue the returning AUSTIN ARIES (with banana) to interrupt, earning a loud WELCOME BACK chant. Aries says he missed the fans too but he heard Drake refer to himself as the greatest man that ever lived. After listing off his own resume around here, Aries throws the challenge out for anywhere anytime. Drake takes off his jacket and says the best thing that Aries has ever done is sit behind a desk and talk about the matches. There’s no match right now but Adonis cheap shots Aries with the belt. That’s enough to change Drake’s mind and the title is on the line RIGHT NOW.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Eli Drake

Drake is defending and covers for a very quick two. After an argument with the referee, Drake misses a charge into the post, setting up Aries’ corner dropkick. The brainbuster gives us a new champion at 50 seconds.

As expected, the announcers soundly undersell the title change to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine enough but egads I didn’t like that ending. Drake has held the title for about five months and he just loses it in no time in an impromptu match because Aries is freshly available. This company has a really bad habit of not building stories up over time and going for the big shock instead of setting something up in the name or proper storytelling. At least Aries has his own history here and it’s not some total newcomer winning the title.

Overall the show was watchable enough but I can’t really go beyond that. For a show that was supposed to be the latest restart, only the title change felt like something new. A lot of the feuds and stories seemed to be taking their next step and none of the felt like a big deal. It’s not a bad show by any means but, last five minutes aside, this really wasn’t eventful.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Fallah Bahh – Shooting star press

Bobby Lashley b. KM – Spear

Kiera Hogan b. Laurel Van Ness – Rollup

Johnny Impact/Moose b. Alberto El Patron/Ethan Carter III – Clothesline to El Patron

Austin Aries b. Eli Drake – Brainbuster

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 25, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

So apparently this is one of their big shows, which was only first mentioned last week. Most of the titles are on the line tonight, including a triple threat match inside a cage with Eli Drake defending against Johnny Impact and Alberto El Patron. It’s hard to say what else they might throw out here so let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard look at the bigger names talking about what their matches mean. It might help if this show had some more build, or if I could tell you what this show had to offer. What we get here is good though as it’s a stylish way to put out a simple concept.

Opening sequence.

Grand Championship: Matt Sydal vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending and there are no judges, rounds or scoring, but rather a standard match. Sydal dropkicks him at the bell and the champ is knocked outside early on. Back in and a pair of basement dropkicks give Sydal two but Carter gets a breather off a running clothesline. A cravate doesn’t work very well for the champ so he whips Sydal into the corner a few times.

Carter can’t hit a Stinger Splash though and the double knees from the top give Matt two. Back up and Sydal’s super hurricanrana misses with Matt’s face slamming straight into the turnbuckle. We take a break to make sure Sydal’s head isn’t broken and come back with Carter hitting a cutter for two. A TK3 over the top rope connects but Sydal is right back up with a spinwheel kick.

They head to the apron with Carter grabbing a DDT, only to have Sydal pop right back up again. That’s getting a bit annoying as he’s barely staying down off these big shots to the head. Sydal knees him in the face but can’t hit the shooting star press. For some reason Carter takes him to the top for a super TK3, only to get shoved down for the shooting star to give Sydal the title at 15:59.

Rating: C. Sydal’s selling issues aside, this was the right call. Sydal has been called a choker who can never win the big match so he got things down to a regular one on one match and won the title here. I’m really hoping the title shifts towards a regular title full time as there’s just no need for the round system. This made for a fine match with a good story and that’s all you could want out of this. It’s a TV Title and that’s all it should be.

Stills on the Barbed Wire Massacre mess from last week.

We look at the still awesome XXX vs. AMW cage match from Turning Point 2004. That cage walk is still pretty easily the greatest spot in the company’s history and it’s never been approached since. To be fair though, how can you follow that?

We recap the Knockouts Title match. Laurel Van Ness won the title a few weeks back but Gail Kim (take a shot) wanted Allie to win. Allie started talking about wanting the shot so here we go, with Allie being a lot more serious.

Knockouts Title: Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Allie is challenging and Laurel leaves the belt on the steps, which is quite the Chekov’s Gun. They lock up and fight to the floor without breaking the lock until Allie takes her back inside for some clotheslines. That’s enough inside as they go to the floor again with Allie being sent into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Laurel in control inside, sending Allie into three straight buckles. A running flip neckbreaker gets two and the counts are getting on the champ’s nerves. Laurel’s chinlock doesn’t do much so it’s a clothesline instead, allowing Josh to plug his podcast. Allie avoids a charge and suplexes Van Ness into the corner for two. A Codebreaker gets the same and a superkick is even closer with Laurel having to put her foot on the ropes. The ref is bumped and a quick belt shot lets Laurel retain the title at 14:03.

Rating: D+. Well that ending was terrible. I know they set it up at the beginning but it felt like the cheapest ending they could come up with as a way to keep things going. Why do I have a feeling that it means we’ll be seeing Gail give Allie another pep talk to really get her ready? It might make Gail look more important and you know that’s what this promotion is all about.

We recap American Top Team vs. Moose, in case you haven’t gotten this story yet. The MMA guys are here to prove that wrestling is fake and they’ve already gotten rid of James Storm. Moose is ready to try his luck again.

Moose vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley has Dan Lambert and KM in his corner. After some early stalling, Lashley sends him into the corner and stomps away as the announcers talk about various other places you can watch Impact. So yeah, go there and watch that now because this show doesn’t matter. Moose’s comeback doesn’t get him anywhere and it’s a snap suplex for two. Some shoulders in the corner don’t get Lashley anywhere as Moose scores with a spinning middle rope crossbody. KM offers a distraction though and Lashley clotheslines him down as we take a break.

Back with Lashley stomping on the arm and seemingly unsure which hold to try. Instead he throws Moose outside to ram him into various things, only to start in on the other arm. Moose dropkicks him off the top and out to the floor but Lashley calmly whips him into the steps as the dominance continues. KM pulls out a completely unnecessary table and Lashley isn’t happy, allowing Moose to crush him in the corner.

The middle rope chokebomb gets two but Lashley is right back with a running hurricanrana. Well of course he is. Seriously that’s not normal. The spear gets two with Moose throwing a boot on the ropes and Lashley is stunned. KM gets on the apron for no logical reason (how typical of him), allowing Moose to ram them together and hit the discus lariat for two. The Game Changer gives Moose the pin at 16:43, making that previous kickout rather dumb.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Moose get the pin, even if this should have been months ago at Bound For Glory. I’m sure this story will keep going because this company has never understood how or when to stop an angle but hopefully we move past this already. It’s not like it has much of a shelf life and we’ve proven that many times over now.

Post match Moose FINALLY lays Lambert out and Lashley does the same to KM. Lashley spears Lambert through a table and they both beat up the MMA guy who is all bandaged up. Did we really just spend all those months setting up a Lashley face turn? That was their big goal?

The announcers recap the show so far.

X-Division Title: Taiji Ishimori vs. Andrew Everett

This is from Pro Wrestling Noah with Everett challenging. Joined in progress with Ishimori hitting some running knees to the chest in the corner. Everett comes back with an enziguri and a Lionsault for two but a shooting star gets two. Back up and one heck of a clothesline takes Everett down for two more and a suplex into a gutbuster gets the same. The 450 retains the title at 4:38 shown.

Rating: C-. The time was a problem here as there’s only so much you can do with so little time. Then again, it’s hard to say how good the match was with all the time it was given. Ishimori is a good champion, but he needs more than just under five minutes shown to have much of an impact. Well that and a more interesting opponent.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact

Drake is defending inside a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. If Drake retains, neither ever gets a title shot at Drake again. Johnny gets stomped down in the corner to start as we have our first soon to be broken alliance. A double ram into the cage drops Johnny and the villains are already slugging it out. Neither can get over the top so Impact is back up for the save.

Drake gets catapulted into the cage and the flip neckbreaker gives Johnny two. Alberto, wrestling in a shirt for some reason, pulls Johnny off the cage and sends Drake into the steel. Impact is tied up in the Tree of Woe with Alberto missing the double stomp off the cage (likely to avoid a bad case of death), only to have Drake drop Johnny with that backwards Big Ending of his. Everyone is down and we take a break after a pretty good start.

Back with Drake low blowing both of them and sending them into the cage. Johnny of course walks the cage wall and sends Drake into the cage for the coolest spot of the match, which gets no reaction. Alberto is back up with a kick to Johnny’s ribs before whipping Drake into the cage over and over. A DDT gets two on the champ and Alberto knocks Johnny into the Tree of Woe.

This time the stomp works but Johnny is still able to break up the armbreaker on Drake. Everyone goes up in the same corner but Johnny knocks them down and hits a double high crossbody…..to no reaction. I even rewound it in hopes that I had just missed it but the sound just isn’t there and that’s very sad. That’s a big time move and the fans just did not care. Like at all.

The Gravy Train gets two on Johnny so Drake climbs with Impact right behind him. Johnny drops down to catch Alberto but an enziguri cuts him off. Alberto tries to go out the door but Chris Adonis slams it on his head. Johnny JUMPS up and sprints over the top of the cage, somehow beating Drake down, only to have Adonis catch him in the air. The delay allows Drake to drop down and retain at 18:05.

Rating: B-. And they’re DONE. I’m tired of this three way feud and it’s long past time to have some fresh talent challenging for the title. Drake looks good and gets his big win (even one in front of the actual Impact fans) but this story wasn’t interesting going into Bound For Glory and waiting several months didn’t make things even better. The blowoff match was solid enough but the story didn’t do anything for me.

Overall Rating: C+. Well that certainly was a big time show. I’m not sure what else to say about it but it is certainly a big time show. The matches had been built up for a while now but they haven’t been done all that well. The Grand Championship match was the best told story and felt like closure, but everything else felt like it was just there or existed to set up something else in the future. It’s fine enough, but I really need more than a week to get excited for a big show.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Ethan Carter III – Shooting star press

Laurel Van Ness b. Allie – Title to the face

Moose b. Lashley – Game Changer

Taiji Isimori b. Andrew Everett – 450 splash

Eli Drake b. Alberto El Patron and Johnny Impact – Drake escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 16, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re still in Ottawa, as will be the case for several more weeks. Tonight is about some followups to Bound For Glory as Gail Kim will be in the house for her first comments after winning the Knockouts Title, plus the return of American Top Team. I’m sure these won’t be bad segments that accomplish nothing and get us nowhere. Let’s get to it.

Gail Kim and American Top Team arrived earlier today.

Johnny Impact and Alberto El Patron have been banned from the building.

Eli Drake is ready to face Petey Williams, who should stick with the X-Division.

Taiji Ishimori/Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Dezmond Xavier/Garza Jr.

Lee uppercuts Dutt to start and Ishimori comes in to spin out of a wristlock. Dutt dropkicks Konley down so it’s back to Lee for the heel dominance. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Garza who cleans house and TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! Xavier hits a dive of his own but Ishimori hits running knees in the corner. Konley gets kicked in the ribs and Xavier’s Final Flash gives him the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C-. I’m running out of ways to say the X-Division guys aren’t interesting. This was your run of the mill match with some dives and nothing much else. I still have no reason to care about any of these people and Lee continues to be champion for no adequately explored reason. It’s good to start the show with a match though, especially something a little more entertaining than the other options.

OVE is ready to continue the fight against LAX.

Grand Championship: Fallah Bahh vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending as I try to remember that the Grand Championship is a thing. Ethan tries some technical stuff to start before slapping Bahh in the back of the head. The huge Bahh sends him into the corner before easily shouldering him down. For some reason Carter tries a slam and gets slammed down for his efforts. A really bad rolling splash (as in Bahh gets a jogging start, drops, and rolls over Carter) puts Carter in the corner to end the first round. Bahh wins round one and runs Carter over to start the second.

A second charge only hits post though and Carter kicks him in the head. While Bahh regains his senses, Josh says you can go back sixteen years on the Global Wrestling Network. No Josh, you can’t. We hit a chinlock for a bit before a Stinger Splash has Bahh in more trouble. Another chinlock keeps Bahh down to end the round, which is won by Carter.

The third round starts after a break with Bahh winning a slugout until Carter hits a clothesline. It can’t take the big guy down but Bahh is barely standing. The required Samoan drop is enough for Josh to give the first minute of the round to Bahh. A belly to belly gets two on the champ, followed by a crossbody for no cover. Bahh goes to the middle rope but gets pulled down, allowing Carter to grab a rollup with his feet on the ropes to retain at 15:14.

Rating: D+. As usual, there is no reason whatsoever to have the rounds save for fake drama. Bahh is every fat monster who can’t do anything out of the ordinary while Carter is stuck waiting around for a better story. I’d be thrilled if they just turned the title back into the TV belt, assuming they’ll actually do anything with it. The specifics mean nothing if you can’t get anyone wanting the thing, which has always been the problem around here.

OVE/Sami Callihan vs. LAX

It’s a brawl to start with Ortiz hitting a cutter on Callihan and a backbreaker on Dave Crist, only to have Sami come back in to send Ortiz outside. That means a suicide dive and the brawl continues on the floor. Back in and Homicide can’t hit the Gringo Killer on Callihan, who kicks him low for a breather. Jake actually bothers with a tag as we take a break.

Back with Santana getting pummeled in the corner but fighting over for the hot tag to Ortiz. Everything breaks down again with LAX making the face comeback, including a Tower of London out of the corner to Dave. Callihan comes back in to help with a Stunner on Santana, followed by Jake’s tombstone for two. Ortiz comes back in for the Street Sweeper and the pin on Dave at 13:16.

Rating: C. So they can get rid of the Veterans of War (another team with a three letter nickname) because the tag division is just so deep at the moment. It certainly feels like LAX has turned face but without much of a moment to get them there. It also isn’t much of a face group when they have the numbers advantage, though why bother making sense when you can do a double turn for the sake of a double turn?

Here’s Dan Lambert with an envelope. He brags about how awesome MMA fighters are and how pathetic wrestlers are before going into a rant about the company moving to Canada. See, Canada has weak currency and Impact Wrestling wants some of that lame money. As for the point, Lashley was granted a release but for some reason the company never signed onto it.

Lambert has drafted a new release and just needs an executive to come sign off on it, otherwise the destruction will continue. Cue Moose to call Lambert dumb for giving his boys the night off, leaving him all alone here. Lashley comes out for the save, along with American Top Team, who you would have thought Moose would have noticed in the back. Cue James Storm to clean house without much effort, including a beer bottle over the head of one of the MMA fighters.

Storm grabs a mic to say he’s been training since 1996 and was told he would never be here. His mama told him to never give up and that’s what professional wrestling is. He mentions some of the tag teams he’s been in and that’s what wrestling is too. Storm talks about how awesome this place is to wrap it up.

Post break, KM wants to be part of American Top Team. Lashley tells him to prove himself.

Chris Adonis and Eli Drake tell Williams to try to make himself a Canadian hero. If Petey can last three minutes with the champ, he’ll be a Canadian hero. He won’t be World Champion though and that’s just a fact of life.

Allie thanks Gail Kim for being awesome.

Long video on Kim’s career. They’re really going to just send her out there, have her give a speech, and get no one else over aren’t they?

Gail comes out for her speech and Allie comes out as an invited guest. Kim talks about wanting to wrestle eighteen years ago and finding a wrestling school so she could do just that. We get the required YOU DESERVE IT chants, even though no one deserves as much praise as Gail gets around here. She thanks the women who helped pave the way to get her here (Trish Stratus, Lita, Molly Holly, Awesome Kong) and she’s at peace with her decision.

She’s vacating the title and can’t wait to see where things go from here. No interruption, nothing for anyone else and just Gail. I’m so glad she got this one last moment to add to her collection of other moments. There’s no denying that Gail is great but this company seems to think she’s Austin and Rock combined. Did I miss it when she became the biggest star the company has ever had?

Joseph Park comes up to catering and scares everyone off, save for Grado. Park begs forgiveness and blames Abyss. He gives Grado his visa because TNA doesn’t understand the idea of immigration either. A Mountie comes up to say Grado’s visa only counts in America so he’s being deported. Well that happened.

JB is in the ring to announce the main event so Jimmy Jacobs pops up on commentary. He takes a selfie with Josh and says he’ll stay as long as he feels welcome.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Petey Williams vs. Eli Drake

Drake is defending. Feeling out process to start with Drake bailing from the threat of a Canadian Destroyer. Back in and a headscissors takes the champ down, followed by the O Canada spot in the corner. We come back from a break with Drake getting two off a belly to back suplex and Adonis choking on the ropes.

A tilt-a-whirl powerslam and a jumping elbow get two on Petey and we hit the reverse chinlock. Drake cuts off a comeback with a clothesline, only to miss a middle rope knee drop. The slingshot Codebreaker gives Petey two and a running knee to the face drops Drake again. The Canadian Destroyer doesn’t work so we hit the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring instead.

Rating: B. Good match, albeit one without much drama. As soon as Drake kicked out of the one weapon Petey had, any doubt went flying out the window. I’m fine with Williams getting a one off title match but I really don’t need him getting a spot in the main event scene because “hey, he’s Canadian”.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some problems here and there but this was one of their best shows in a long time. First of all, everything was about Impact, as in there was no footage from other promotions to pad things out. Couple that with a good main event and some angle advancement (Storm as Moose’s partner is completely acceptable) and Grado being gone and it’s a good night. Unfortunately I have no reason to believe this will last but I’ll enjoy it while I can.

Results

Sonjay Dutt/Dezmond Xavier/Garza Jr. b. Taiji Ishimori/Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee – Final Flash to Konley

Ethan Carter III b. Fallah Bahh – Rollup with feet on the ropes

LAX b. OVE/Sami Callihan – Street Sweeper to Dave

Eli Drake b. Petey Williams – Gravy Train

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re closing in on Bound For Glory and fresh off another show that ended in chaos with the American Top Team guys cleaning house. World Champion Eli Drake actually got to do something though as he and Chris Adonis got to beat down Johnny Impact and Garza Jr., who is now involved in the main event scene for some reason. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Lance Russell.

We get a Pray For Vegas graphic.

We open with a recap of Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake last week with Impact getting cheated out of the title. Johnny wants a fair rematch.

Opening sequence.

Here are Drake and Adonis to open things up. Drake talks about driving down Victory Road last week and pulling straight into Slam Town. He turned the ghetto into a parking lot and built Eli’s Cakes on top. Eli: “YUMMY! YEAH!” Johnny isn’t here tonight and there’s a good chance he won’t get back after that Gravy Train he took last week.

Drake turns his sights to Jim Cornette, whose golden boy couldn’t get the job done. Cornette has brought up every challenger he can and next week he’s sending the champ to Japan. Since he has to go halfway around the world next week, he’s getting the night off tonight. As for Adonis though, he wants to fight so let’s get an opponent out here right now.

Chris Adonis vs. Garza Jr.

Adonis is in street clothes and Drake joins commentary. Garza scores with a series of kicks for two but Adonis takes over on the arm. Back up and a hurricanrana takes Adonis out to the floor but he drops Garza onto the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Garza fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a butterfly suplex.

Adonis cranks on both arms as this match just keeps going. Seriously it’s Chris Masters vs. the local luchador. Why is this getting ten minutes? A spinebuster plants Garza but we cut to the back where Johnny Impact arrives. The Adonis Lock doesn’t work as Garza sends him into the corner. Drake bails to feed the parking meter and THERE GO GARZA’S PANTS!!! The Lionsault misses and Impact runs in for the DQ at 12:00.

Rating: D-. We just sat through Chris Masters vs. the luchador whose big spot is taking his pants off for twelve minutes with a run-in DQ. That’s the best thing they have to open the show? Horrible stuff here as Adonis really isn’t interesting and hasn’t changed a bit since he was in WWE. Find something more interesting than this.

Post match Impact beats up Adonis but gets in a fight with Garza. Cue Jim Cornette to make Impact vs. Garza Jr. for next week (yay). He throws in a bonus: the winner will be facing Drake for the title at Bound For Glory. So Garza goes from a midcard tag guy to possibly #1 contender for the World Title in the main event of the biggest show of the year in a few weeks? Even Jinder Mahal would think that’s extreme. Garza and Impact brawl some more. By the way, the total time between Cornette coming up and the music playing after his announcement: 87 seconds.

Recap of Moose vs. Bobby Lashley, which of course features the American Top Team guys. Good grief why do they think we care?

Moose is in a parked car looking for Lashley. He’s heading for the American Top Team headquarters.

Wrestlers are ready for Bound For Glory.

We look at OVE winning the Tag Team Titles last week.

Konnan yells at LAX for losing so Santana gets in his face. The card table is turned over.

OVE vs. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill

Non-title. Jake starts with Bolen but gets waistlocked for his efforts. A high crossbody and neckbreaker drop Bolen and McGill is sent outside as well. Jake drops both of them with a double suicide dive, followed by Dave’s Asai moonsault. Back in and OVE kicks McGill in the head a few times and let’s plug those Pop TV sitcoms. A High/Low puts Bolen away at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Just a quick win here to further establish OVE as stars. It would be nice if they established some other teams though as I’m not sure who OVE is supposed to feud with after they presumably defeat LAX in the rematch at the pay per view. The tag division is one of the company’s weakest points and that’s really covering a lot of ground.

We recap James Storm/Ethan Carter III vs. the AAA guys, who completely hate this company because the script tells them to.

Here are KM and Sienna with the latter complaining about not having a match on Bound For Glory. No one has a match on the show yet you nitwit. She says she’s going into the Hall of Fame this year so here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. Gail wants her show at the Knockouts Championship Title (still such an odd way to word it) at Bound For Glory.

Cue Taryn Terrell to say she was the longest reigning Knockouts Champion in history and wants a chance to get the title back. Now it’s Allie coming out with Josh seemingly liking her look this week. The other three might be former Knockouts Champions but she’s Allie and deserves another chance to become champion. Cue Karen Jarrett to say Sienna isn’t going into the Hall of Fame. Yes, they actually felt that we needed that explained to us. It’s also a four way for the title at Bound For Glory.

Joseph Park has a meet and greet scheduled for Grado but Grado thinks the prices are a little high. Park says you can charge these marks anything. He pays Grado what seems to be a small amount of money but Grado again seems happy with it.

Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams/Matt Sydal

Remember like three weeks ago when Sydal was getting a World Title shot? Or remember like fourteen years ago when people cared about Petey Williams? I mean you should, as it’s the only reason he’s in this spot at the moment. Everything breaks down just a few seconds in with the villains taking over early on, only to be sent into each other. A triple dropkick sends them outside, followed by an apron moonsault and a double suicide dive.

Back from a break with Dutt and Sydal legsweeping Lee and Konley to set up stereo standing moonsaults. Dutt gets kneed in the back and kicked in the face as the beating begins. Konley works on the arm as the announcers talk about the villains’ unity for wearing all black gear. Or they want to make sure no one recognizes them on this show.

Dutt grabs a tornado DDT while dropkicking everyone else, setting up the hot tag to Petey so house can be cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Sydal’s top rope double knees takes Lee down. Matt throws Lee into Everett on the top, followed by the shooting star to end Everett at 14:31.

Rating: C. I’m not even going to bother with the sarcasm here. It was a completely watchable cruiserweight match that means a grand total of nothing because they’re going to be thrown into an Ultimate X match for the title where no one gets to showcase any individuality and the whole thing is about crazy spots that we’ve seen before and we hear about how important the X-Division is despite it never getting any focus. We’ve heard the same thing for the better part of ten years now and I’m tired of pretending it’s going to change.

Dutt wants the title shot at Bound For Glory and the winners get in an argument over who should have the chance. Just announce Ultimate X already so it can be over hyped.

Here’s this week’s Global Forged.

Laurel Van Ness is back in the audience looking a husband.

Moose arrives at the gym and shoves Dan Lambert away. He gets in a cage but a fighter punches him in the face so the beatdown can be on. They throw Moose out of the building.

Ethan Carter III/James Storm vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano Jr.

In what is becoming a trend, this is getting nearly half an hour. Storm takes Texano down to start as JB hypes this as main eventers vs. main eventers. Carter and Storm get in an argument over a tag though and it’s Fantasma sneaking in for a cheap shot to take over. Storm slips over and makes the tag to Carter for a flapjack on Texano.

The TK3 gets two but Fantasma gets the same off a dropkick. Carter is taken into the heel corner for some stomping, followed by a hard kick to the chest for two. It’s off to the chinlock for a bit until Carter fights up, only to have Pagano come strolling down. Back from a break with Carter still in trouble via some more choking on the ropes.

Texano adds in a jawbreaker and shouts in Spanish for Fantasma to go up. That means a missed splash though and a cutter allows the hot tag to Storm. Everything breaks down again and Storm starts to clean house. It must not be a very big house though as Fantasma superkicks him down, only to get crotched on top. He hasn’t had much luck up there.

The Tower of Doom takes everyone down and thing slow a bit. Carter is thrown outside and then into the post by Pagano as Eddie Edwards not being here to even things out is likely going to be a plot point. Storm loads up a suplex, only to have Pagano trip him up and hold the leg so Fantasma can get the pin at 19:50.

Rating: D+. This one boils down to whether this story interests you or not. It doesn’t in my case as I still have no reason to care about any of the AAA guys, nor do any of them have any motivation to be heels other than they’re from another company. That’s not enough of a story for my taste and I really didn’t need to see a completely average at best tag match going on for twenty minutes.

We go back to the LAX club house where Konnan has a big idea: a street fight at Bound For Glory. Everyone leaves to party and Low Ki is shaking his head.

Overall Rating: D. The show still feels completely flat as almost nothing interesting happened all night long. A big part of that is the roster being filled by so many outsiders, be they from MMA or AAA. It’s one thing if the matches are tearing the house down or something (like the lucha libre in ECW where they were a bunch of outsiders but stealing the show in a way no one had seen in America before) but that’s not what we’re getting here.

Instead it’s a bunch of average matches with very weak stories that aren’t drawing in any special interest. Odds are the MMA guys get in the ring at Bound For Glory, which hasn’t been interesting before and won’t be this time either. Either way, I’m sure we’ll be told that it’s the most thrilling thing we’ve ever seen and how the company is changing wrestling.

What GFW doesn’t seem to get is that changing wrestling isn’t always a good thing and just being different for the sake of being different doesn’t work. They need a focus and I really haven’t seen that in a long time. Figure out what you want to be and go with it, but just bringing in a bunch of people from another promotion whose entire characters are “this person is from this promotion and they’re awesome” isn’t enough. The show wasn’t terrible by any stretch but it also was one of the least interesting ones they’ve done in a good while, which is the case way too often around here.

Results

Chris Adonis b. Garza Jr. via DQ when Johnny Impact interfered

OVE b. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill – High/Low to Bolen

Matt Sydal/Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett – Shooting star press to Everett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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