Since MVP is injured and can’t wrestle, the main event has been changed to a three way in the cage, because wrestling NEEDS triple threats. Eric Young will still be defending, but his opponents will be determined. Instead of selecting a challenger, the winners of two previously announced matches will be entered in to face Young.

The first qualifying match is Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley. This is the more interesting one of the two and I think they’ll keep Lashley strong, even though Joe presents a more interesting case to be champion. Unfortunately this is TNA, so Joe has to look strong one week and then get beaten a few days later.

The other qualifier is Austin Aries vs. Kenny King. I’ll take Aries here, even though it looks like they’re setting up Young to overcome the odds again and keep the title over the other two members of the Trio.

In case it’s not clear, I’ll take Young to keep the title. Odds are they’ll put the title on someone else at Destination X anyway.

Two of the Von Erich children are having a tag match. This hasn’t been advertised on TV much if at all, but if they did we might have to cut out one of 19 segments a given act got o a show. Their opponents are to be announced, but could it possibly be anyone other than the Bro Mans? Von Erichs win.

Ethan wins the Texas Death Match due to Dixie causing trouble. She has to go through a table in New York. I mean…..she HAS TO.

Magnus beats Willow, setting up a tag match with Abyss joining Hardy to face the Brits in the future.

Storm beats Anderson but they’ll have 97 gimmick matches in the future to keep the feud going way past its expiration date.

Love beats Kim and I don’t care enough to go into why.

The other match that hasn’t been announced on Impact: Sanada vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazy Steve vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards for the X-Division Title. We’re less than two weeks away from Destination X and the X Division Title match can’t even get a backstage promo. Is it any wonder why this company is in such horrible shape?

Overall Slammiversary looks like the most thrown together PPV in a long time. The main event isn’t their fault, but too much of the card is either tacked on or a match that hasn’t been given enough time for people to care about it. The show should set up some interesting stuff in the future with Destination X so soon but instead it feels like they’re just filling time until we can get back to the multi way war for control of the company. Then again, Slammiversary has been a very solid show for a few years running now.

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It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and the big story is of course a war between Dixie Carter and MVP because where would we be without the focus being on Dixie? The problem with Impact’s taping schedule rears its head again tonight and this weekend though as MVP is injured and may not be able to go on Sunday, so everything tonight may mean nothing at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video narrated by MVP, talking about how he’s risen to power.

Here’s Eric Young in gear to open the show. Young says this Sunday is the biggest match of his career but he wants to say something to the trio in person. MVP comes out and explains that he and Dixie don’t see things the same so Eric has MVP’s undivided attention. Eric is ready for Sunday but MVP says he’s still half man and half amazing, so after he takes the title on Sunday, Eric can go back to fishing.

After the plug for Young’s fishing show, Eric asks that Sunday be a fair fight. MVP likes the idea but he can’t guarantee that Lashley and King can control themselves. Young says he has no problem with losing a fair fight, but getting beaten down three on one isn’t wrestling. He’s willing to do anything to make sure it’s even on Sunday and MVP likes the sound of that.

Young can pick the stipulation on Sunday, if Eric can beat all three of them in one night. King says Eric couldn’t beat two of them but Eric is ready to try. MVP is willing to give Eric a break and says Eric can pick the stipulations if he wins 2/3. The deal is made and it’s Lashley up first.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Eric hammers away to start but gets drilled with forearms in the corner. A backdrop puts Bobby down but Eric comes back with a running forearm that appeared to mostly miss. Young avoids a charge in the corner but does a Flair Flip into the sliding sunset flip. Lashley will have none of that though and launches Eric to the floor.

Eric is sent into the steps and comes up holding his back. Lashley is no idiot and puts on a torture rack followed by an over the shoulder backbreaker. Young punches his way out and nails a nice dropkick before stopping a charging Bobby with two boots in the corner. He jumps off the corner into the Dominator powerslam though and Lashley gets the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D+. Basic match here and I already don’t like the booking here. Young went from fresh to pinned clean in less than six minutes three days before a PPV title defense. You have Young beat King before this match and then have him lose to Lashley to protect him and get the same result. Why is that so hard?

Lashley goes after Young again but Samoa Joe makes the save.

Willow says he’s bruised but not broken. He’ll turn the tide tonight because patience is on vacation.

Eric Young can’t stand up but says he has to go back out there.

Samoa Joe says this is the latest sign of a problem with MVP.

Here are Bram and Magnus in street clothes with something to say. Bram talks about how Magnus was treated so badly and turned into someone Bram didn’t know. Magnus says he and Bram are unstoppable and they’ve made Jeff Hardy so scared that he’s gotten a new identity. Willow comes out and says he’s from Jeff Hardy’s Imagin-I-Nation and says he goes where Jeff can’t.

Willow vs. Magnus is set for Sunday and Willow says they’ll (as in himself and someone else) will celebrate. Bram: “You and Jeff Hardy? YOU’RE THE SAME BLOODY PERSON!” Willow admits that he’s Hardy and says someone will be in his corner on Sunday. Bram asks who and it’s Abyss, who comes out to clean house.

Ethan Carter III says his aunt isn’t here tonight but he’ll take care of the family business. They’re the Carters after all.

Robbie E. vs. Knux

The comedy story continues as Robbie is terrified of clowns, including Crazy Steve at ringside. Robbie hits on Rebel but The Freak easily chases him off. Robbie’s right hands are stopped by a Steve distraction, allowing Knux to hit a nice running cross body. E. comes back with a nice middle rope clothesline but DJZ and Steve get in a horn off. Knux splashes Robbie in the corner as the Freak takes care of the other Bro Mans. Back in and a nice Sky High pins Robbie at 3:09.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but that Sky High was really nice, as was Rebel. At the end of the day, the division needs challengers for the Wolves but one of the few teams is being wasted in this comedy feud. To be fair though, the Bro Mans are comedy characters so what else do you expect?

Post match Steve attaches balloons to Robbie’s back to freak him out.

EC3 and Spud are talking in the back when Brooke returns. She doesn’t say anything but she returns.

Ethan and Spud are in the ring with three chairs set up. Ethan brings out Brooke as he plans on exposing the past sins of Bully Ray. He asks Brooke if she was in a relationship with Ray and asks why it’s over. Carter accuses Ray of being an alcoholic and trying to put Brooke through a table but Brooke denies it. Spud says he can’t deal with this anymore because he has the results. Apparently Ray IS the father, even though Brooke hasn’t had a baby. Spud produces pictures of Ray next to an angry looking kid but Ethan is annoyed. He threatens Brooke until Ray comes out and runs them off.

Before he deals with Carter and Spud, Ray wants to apologize to Brooke. He treated her horribly despite her being an amazing girlfriend. Now Ray is in a better place in his life and wants to wish Brooke the best. They hug and Ethan sounds like he’s gagging. Ethan and Ray argue for a bit until Ethan challenges Ray to a tables match on Sunday, because Ray is putting Dixie through a table over Ethan’s dead body. Ray loves the idea of a dead body and starts a chant about it, but he’ll decline the tables match. Instead, since we’ll be in Carter Country in Dallas, let’s make it a Texas death match. Ethan says it’s on.

MVP tells Kenny King to keep focused out there tonight.

Kenny King vs. Eric Young

Second match in Young’s 2/3 challenge tonight. Young gets armdragged down to start and his back is already bothering him. They head to the floor with the champion in even more trouble. Back in and Young shoves him off the top, only to get slammed down for his troubles. Young avoids a springboard Swanton Bomb and nails the piledriver out of nowhere for the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the outcome was already completely clear. I still don’t get why this wasn’t in another order, but it’s TNA so this isn’t the biggest problem that they have to deal with. It also doesn’t help that the fans are already sick of seeing the same people over and over again and now they get to see the same guy three times in one night.

Eric says he’ll keep fighting.

Brittany vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

Winner gets Angelina on Sunday. Brittany and Madison double team Gail to start but Madison won’t high five her. Gail dropkicks both of them to the floor and does it again through the ropes. Cue the Beautiful People as we take a break. Back with the Beautiful People on commentary and Madison hitting a headsicssors on Gail, followed by a slow motion victory roll for two. Gail puts a leg choke on Brittany but gets caught in a cross armbreaker by Madison.

That makes Gail let go of her hold but she rolls Madison up for two. Kim goes up top but gets caught in a double superplex (with her thankfully kicking off the post to make it easier for them) to put all three down. Madison nails Brittany but gets sent to the floor as a result. Gail puts Brittany in the figure four around the post as the Beautiful People come out to ringside. Kim runs Brittany over as Angelina distracts the referee. Velvet sprays Brittany in the eyes by mistake, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat for the pin at 10:09.

Rating: D+. This gives us I believe the 284th title match between Angelina and Gail. That’s the problem with the entire Knockouts division as a whole: it’s the same core group of about five girls having the same feuds and the same matches over and over and over with only occasionally someone jumping into the division, getting a title run, then leaving it back to the core group. Just please find a new direction for the next 8 years so I don’t have to watch the Beautiful People vs. Gail/Madison again.

MVP is talking to Brian Hebner and says it’s going to be a fair main event.

We run down the PPV card. The only added match is King vs. Aries.

MVP vs. Eric Young

If Young wins he gets to pick the stipulation. Lashley and King jump Young in the aisle before the bell and we take a break about five seconds after the match starts. Back with MVP staying on Young’ sback and putting him in a camel clutch before just letting it go so he can get two off an uppercut. A wicked powerbomb gets two and a buckle bomb sets up the running boot to the face in the corner for a close two on the champion. MVP grabs a chair to sit in and talk some trash but Young is starting to get up. Instead MVP picks up the chair to blast Eric in the back for the DQ at 10:14.

Rating: C. The match made sense and at least they didn’t give it a clean finish. MVP being the cocky heel makes sense and going after the back as much as he did makes even more sense, but I’ve over this feud already. MVP almost has to win the title on Sunday, if nothing else to end this over done Eric Young title reign.

MVP says pick whatever stipulation you want and poses with the belt. The trio leaves and Young makes it a cage match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was significantly better than most of their previous shows but it still had its issues. First and foremost, WAY too much Eric Young, which is another incarnation of the same issue they’ve been having time after time now: too much of the same idea, meaning that if you don’t like that one idea, there’s no need for you to watch the show. The stuff they had wasn’t terible and it set up the payoff at the end well enough, but I don’t really want to see Young for a fourth time in three days.

Other than that, the show wasn’t that bad and they did a good job of setting up the show on Sunday. That’s TNA in a nutshell: the payoff is usually decent, but man alive is it hard to get through the buildup. The wrestling was pretty standard tonight, but a lot of angles were advanced and you can see the logical matches coming on Sunday.

However, a five match card with a comedy match, a Knockouts three way and then three Eric Young matches (including the World Title match three days before the pay per view) doesn’t do it for me, especially when there were so many people (Aries, Anderson and Storm to be exact) that didn’t get any time tonight. Also the X-Division is having a multi man ladder match on Sunday and wasn’t mentioned at all here. That’s TNA for you: they do some ok stuff, but it’s at a bad expense of other stuff.

Results
Bobby Lashley b. Eric Young – Dominator
Knux b. Robbie E. – Sky High
Eric Young b. Kenny King – Piledriver
Gail Kim b. Brittany and Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat to Brittany
Eric Young b. MVP via DQ when MVP used a chair

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These things are back again with another random tag partners competition. It’s the same format as the first in the series: take four random wrestlers and put them in a tag match, then have the winners go into a gauntlet battle royal. The winner gets a check for $100,000. I wouldn’t mind if they used money as a motivating factor in wrestling more often. Let’s get to it.

As usual, we open with a package of clips from the show we’re about to see.

Jeremy Borash and Christy Hemme explain the concept for the night. They also do the drawing for the first match, which they’ll be doing before every tag match tonight.

Gunner/Chris Sabin vs. British Invasion

It’s Magnus/Doug Williams, which should tell you a thing or two about how this show is going to go. This is one of Sabin’s final appearances as he’s gone from the company by the time this show airs. Doug and Sabin get things going with the Englishman taking him down by the arm. The announcers are already in their own little world as Williams hangs onto the arm even though a monkey flip. Sabin is sent to the floor for a chase and eats a European uppercut back inside.

Off to Gunner for some nice applause and one off a shoulder block. The tag brings in Magnus to a mixed reaction and the showdown with Gunner. Well it would be a showdown if this were on regular TNA TV and Magnus were still World Champion but there’s only so much for me to work with on this show. A headlock takes Gunner down to the mat but he fights back with a fall away slam for two.

Back to Sabin who gets caught in a double neckbreaker for two. The announcers are talking about tag team wrestling for a change. Granted it’s about Taz’s career but at least they’re getting closer than they were earlier when they talked about wrestling polar bears. A sunset flip from Douglas gets two on Gunner but it’s quickly back to Sabin. Chris chokes Douglas with a rope from his wrist to get some cheating in there but the fans cheer Douglas back to his feet.

Gunner comes in again but charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Williams to come off the middle rope with a European uppercut. Taz’s line during that sequence: “Calculus 202. That was my thing.” He’s talking about math, not the uppercut in case you’re looking for a double meaning or a metaphor there. Everything breaks down and Gunner puts Magnus in the Gun Rack but Sabin tags himself in and gets two on Magnus. Sabin accidentally hits his partner, setting up the snapmare into the top rope elbow from Magnus for the pin to advance.

Rating: C. This was your typical One Night Only match: the wrestling wasn’t bad but the lack of a strong story hurts it. It’s not bad or anything and there was a basic story of having an experienced team against a makeshift team but this was much more for the live crowd than the PPV audience.

The British Invasion both say they’ll win the gauntlet for the money later tonight. Magnus emphasizes that the reunion was indeed for one night only but there are no hard feelings.

Bad Influence says they’ll both carry their partners and then win the gauntlet. The Bro Mans come in and promise they’ll win but Bad Influence says the Bro Mans might not be together tonight. Robbie seems a little more aware of what’s going on tonight. This turns into a discussion of hair gel.

Robbie E./Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe/Bad Bones

By the powers, what a coincidence. And right after they were talking too! Bad Bones is the German wrestler that Joe beat up in like 90 seconds a few weeks back. He looks like a lot like A-Train if he was about six inches shorter and not covered with hair. Joe starts with Daniels as the announcers debate leader boards vs. a list of winners. Daniels doesn’t break clean in the corner but his forearms to the back have almost no effect at all. Joe runs him over and hammers away in the corner to set up the Facewash.

Daniels bails to the floor for a meeting with Robbie as the fans quiet down. Back in and E is tagged in before Joe tags him in the jaw with right hands. Off to Bones for a nice high collar suplex and two. Some running forearms and a running knee to the chest ala Daniel Bryan drop Daniels with ease. E tries to help his partner but Bones double clotheslines them down as well. Robbie trips Bones up from the floor and comes in legally to hammer away in the corner.

We hit the chinlock and the fans are already cheering for Bones. E misses a charge in the corner though and the hot tag brings in Joe to face Daniels. The big boot and backsplash get two on Christopher and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Robbie makes the save but gets speared down by Bones. Joe Muscle Busts Daniels for the pin to advance.

Rating: C. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing that rating a lot tonight. There’s only so much to do in a quick match like this with a basic story of power vs. speed with four guys that have a limited history together. Not a bad match or anything but it was just ten minutes of four guys doing moves to each other with Joe and Bones not really breaking a sweat.

Gunner says the loss wasn’t his fault.

British Invasion says the same thing they said after their match.

Samuel Shaw says he only trusts himself.

We do another draw and there are about twenty fewer pieces of paper in the tumbler.

Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries

This has potential. Spud says he’ll be team captain no matter who his partner is and then Bully is announced for a funny moment. Ray and Spud stare each other down. That goes badly for Spud so he gets a chair to stand on. He talks about being chief of staff…..before quickly agreeing that Ray is captain tonight. The fans chant for Aries but switch to WE WANT SPUD. They get what they ask for but the tag hurts Spud’s hand.

Aries easily takes him down so Bully gives him a huge pep talk and starts a SPUD chant. The Rockstar gets in Aries’ face and slaps him, only to be dropped by a left hand. Ray offers another tag but Spud is scared of the pain so it’s another pep talk. This time Aries takes him down with a clothesline and it’s off to Anderson to take over in the corner. All four get in and Spud starts to dance. Ray walks to the corner and facepalms, allowing Aries and Anderson to double team Spud.

Bully realizes he’s doing this on his own and Spud gets knocked down again. Ray yells at him and gets elbowed in the back of the head by Aries, knocking him face first into….uh….a certain place on Spud. This just makes Ray even angrier so he breaks out of a Mic Check and kicks Anderson in the face. Spud does Ray’s pose so Ray pulls him to the corner by the ear and hits a big elbow drop for two on Anderson. Ray to Hebner: “You know what? You count too slow!”

He yells at Hebner in the corner but Earl gets right in Ray’s face to take him into the other corner. Now it’s back to Spud. Taz: “WHY???” Spud drops the same elbow for two and gets in Hebner’s face so Earl slams him down to give Aries a two count. Anderson hits the neckbreaker on the now legal Bully and it’s off to Aries who dropkicks Ray to the floor. A dropkick from the top to the floor and a regular missile dropkick get two for Aries but Ray slams him down and tells Spud to go up top.

Ray: “WHAT’S UP???” Spud: “I’M UP!” The headbutt connects but Ray knocks Spud down when he slaps him in the chest before GET THE TABLES. Spud falls down trying to pull the table out and Ray is disgusted. “GET THE TABLE IN ALREADY!” Anderson comes over and puts his arm around Ray as Spud is still dealing with the table.

Aries is about to go up for What’s Up but Hebner won’t let him. Spud tries a sneak attack on Anderson but is thrown into Ray’s crotch for his efforts. Ray: “YOU SOB!” The fans rightfully think this is awesome and there’s the running corner dropkick from Aries. He loads up the brainbuster but Spud rolls Aries up and pulls the trunks halfway off for the pin. The look of shock on Ray’s face is priceless.

Rating: A+. This was the funniest match I’ve seen in years and maybe even ever. They kept the joke going the entire time and had a WAY more entertaining match than they would have had if they played it straight. This is something WWE needs to learn from. Rather than just having a guy be designated as a comedy guy and having him do strange things while the commentators tell you it’s funny, this was four guys who can be funny BEING FUNNY.

Instead of just doing the same bits over and over again (like Young stripping or the Cobra), they did different stuff that we hadn’t seen before and had a very funny match as a result. Comedy can be done, but let these funny people come up with it themselves rather than having them perform something a writer came up with. If they were good enough actors/performers to do what a writer came up with, they would be in Hollywood making way more money.

This was a blast and a good lesson in how to do comedy wrestling. The tagline One Night Only applies here too: if they did this every week on TV it would stop being anywhere near as funny in like the third week. Do it every now and then instead of the same bits every week and it’ll work far better.

The following two matches are listed in different orders on various sites. This is the order they aired in on the version I have and I don’t think it makes any real difference.

Wolves vs. Beer Money

Eh sometimes it’s better to screw believability and just let two awesome teams have a match. Roode vs. Richards to get things going with a nice technical wrestling sequence. Bobby gets the better of it and cranks on a headlock but Edwards gets a blind tag and dropkicks Roode in the side of the head for two. Off to Storm who gets dropkicked down, allowing the Wolves to take over on the arm. Storm hadn’t turned heel when this was taped so the fans are way into him.

Back to Roode who gets headbutted into the corner and then forearmed in the face by Richards. Storm gets caught in the same corner and kicked down, giving us the gay sex position spot. Back up and Storm kicks the heck out of Richards from the apron and Beer Money takes over. A double back elbow gets two on Davey and we hit a chinlock with Storm’s knee in his back. In one of the few amusing bits of commentary all night, Tenay asks Taz about his time teaming with Raven. Taz: “What about Raven?” They also get into a discussion of how Taz is always commentating with guys named Mike.

Roode comes back in for a chinlock of his own but Davey easily fights up. We get one of the stupidest spots I’ve ever seen as Richards throws Roode to Storm, who catches Bobby in a front facelock for no apparent reason. Then Davey kicks Storm in the face, causing Storm to DDT Roode. Spots like that where they might as well draw you a picture that says “YEAH, WE PLANNED THIS BEFOREHAND” drive me crazy.

Davey finally makes the hot tag to Edwards who cleans house with chops in the corner. The reverse tornado DDT from Storm is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two. An enziguri into a German from Davey gets two on Storm with Roode making the save. Everything breaks down and Davey takes the Backstabber from James and a spinebuster from Bobby. Beer Money hits the double suplex and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Edwards fights out of DWI though and Richards comes back in with a missile dropkick. Beer Money is sent to the floor for a double dive, followed by the top rope double stomp to Storm for the pin.

Rating: B. That’s probably a stretch. The match was good but it certainly wasn’t as great as you would expect from these teams. It made me think of the Hart Foundation vs. the Brainbusters back in 1989. It sounds amazing on paper but when you see it live it’s just a good but not really memorable match. Also it would have been a better choice to put Roode and Storm in the battle royal as they’re far more likely to win than either of the Wolves.

They shake hands post match.

Spud celebrates his win in the back and says he was the team captain. Ray comes in and Spud immediately shakes his hand and asks how the captain is doing. Ray: “YOUR HEAD WAS IN MY NUTS FOR HALF OF THE MATCH! IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN…..I’LL GIVE YOU A BIG OLD KISS BECAUSE WE WON!” Ray kisses Spud on the cheek and gives him a huge hug.

Aries says he’s speechless.

Kazarian/Curry Man vs. Eric Young/Ethan Carter III

For those of you that don’t remember, Curry Man is a masked man in red and yellow with a plate of curry on his head, based on an ad for curry in India. He’s usually played by Christopher Daniels and I believe he is here as well, even though you can see some hair sticking out of the back of the mask. It’s a brawl to start with Young and Curry Man being left alone in the ring. Curry and Young hug each other before slugging it out. They hug again then trade about six standing switches before hugging a third time.

Kaz gets sick of it and suggests a mid match change: Young and Curry Man team against Kaz and Carter. Apparently it’s going to be allowed but Eric and Curry Man stay on the apron. Carter rolls up Kaz for two but Eric makes the save, despite that not even being his original partner. The referee makes them go back to the original partners and more confusion ensues.

Carter finally chokes Curry Man to take over and a slam gets two. Young comes in to save Curry Man and gets yelled at by Ethan. “YOU’RE MY PARTNER!” Eric: “I KNOW IT SUCKS!” A clothesline puts Curry Man down for two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. Tags bring in Eric and Kaz and we get a crisscross. Young takes over with a flying forearm and a belly to belly as everything breaks down. Carter and Curry Man fight to the floor as Young rolls up Kaz for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not really even a match but it was one of the more bearable Eric Young comedy affairs that I can remember seeing. At least this time the story made sense and it wasn’t the same annoying Young stuff over and over again. It’s also a nice take on the random pairings idea which makes this easier to sit through.

Carter lays out Eric postmatch.

The Wolves are more excited about beating Beer Money than going to the gauntlet.

Abyss/Samuel Shaw vs. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz

Godderz poses for Shaw to start but Abyss tags himself in to scare Jesse to death. Ion comes in and shouts BOOM a lot, much to Abyss’ annoyances. A cross body has no effect whatsoever and Abyss slams him down with one arm. About twenty chops from Ion have about the same effect and Abyss runs him over with a clothesline.

Off to Shaw who the fans call creepy. Back to Jesse who elbows Shaw in the face but gets slammed down with ease. Abyss tags himself back in to a nice reaction and cleans house on Godderz. Samuel turns his back on Abyss but gets dragged back into the ring. Godderz and Ion take over with some double teaming and a jawbreaker staggers Shaw. He takes time to go stare at Christy though, allowing Ion to hit a flip dive for two.

Zema misses a middle rope moonsault and it’s back to Abyss for some house cleaning. Jesse actually stops him with a clothesline but Shaw is busy going after Christy. He gets her in the corner and the referee just lets this happen, only to have Abyss make the save. Christy bails so Shaw hammers on his partner. That goes as well as you would expect but the Bro Mans actually knock Abyss to the floor. Shaw grabs the standing choke on Godderz for the submission a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here but at least they didn’t go for a third comedy match out of six. Shaw and Christy have a limited shelf life and hopefully it’s done after the latest gimmick match between Shaw and Anderson. Jesse and Ion were just there to bounce off Abyss and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Ethan Carter III takes credit for the win. Spud and Magnus (on the phone) come up and say that Dixie is proud. Magnus implies that they should let him win the gauntlet but after he leaves, Carter suggests that he should win. Spud thinks he might be the winner.

Lei’D Tapa/Gail Kim/Alpha Female vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB

Just a filler here in an elimination match. Tapa imitates Velvet’s entrance to a ton of booing but Velvet calms the people down by doing it again. Sky charges at Tapa but is lifted in the air for a choke. Off to Gail for a clothesline but she gets caught by Madison’s mat humper. Gail spanks Tapa for some reason and yells at her for not having her back. The announcers talk about having spotted dick at lunch today and the match just keeps going.

Alpha comes in for a slam and some forearms to Madison’s chest. She misses a bad looking splash though and it’s back to Velvet who finally knocks Alpha down. Madison and Gail fight to the floor as Velvet bulldogs Alpha down. Chris Sabin comes out to distract the referee though and gets in an argument with Velvet. Sky low bridges him to the floor, kicks Alpha in the head and hits In Yo Face for the elimination.

Gail rolls Velvet up for a fast pin but the referee is with Sabin and misses Madison spearing Gail down. Tapa runs Madison over for an easy pin and we’re down to Gail/Tapa vs. ODB. The numbers game quickly catch up to her but Gail wants to get the glory. Tapa gets tired of it and shoves Gail into a rollup to get us down to one on one. Gail nails Tapa and ODB hits the Bam for the final pin.

Rating: D. There was no reason at all for this to be elimination rules. There were a few too many things going on here but they still could have wrapped the whole thing up in a single fall. It also doesn’t help that all of these stories have already been wrapped up two months before this show aired.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Basically it’s a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals and the winner getting $100,000. We start with Davey vs. Eddie because that’s how random draws work. Feeling out process to start until the start slugging it out with strikes. Davey gets the better of it with his kicks until Samuel Shaw is in at #3. The Wolves actually keep fighting until Shawn breaks it up and chokes Edwards in the corner.

Edwards comes back with some chops and the Wolves start double teaming. Davey sends Shaw into a running knee to the face but here’s Rockstar Spud at #4. His strategy: kick Shaw low and wrap himself around the ropes for dear life. The Wolves lock eyes onto Spud before splitting up and stomping on both Spud and Shaw. Spud tries to eliminate Shaw by himself as the Wolves just chuckle from the corner. Shaw comes back with a crotch claw and here’s Douglas Williams at #5.

Spud keeps switching ropes to hold onto as we get into the standard battle royal formula of people pairing off and brawling against the ropes without trying to eliminate each other. The Wolves drop Douglas with a double back elbow as Spud is running out of places to hide. Abyss is in at #6 as these times are very suspect. He clotheslines everyone in sight, which doesn’t include Spud who has disappeared. Abyss easily tosses out Edwards and Davey suffers the same fate about fifteen seconds later. There goes Williams and we’re down to Abyss and Shaw on their feet. There’s a Black Hole Slam to set up the elimination as Spud tries to sneak up on Abyss. The monster chokes him up against the ropes as Bully Ray is in at #7.

Spud tries to interfere again but gets thrown over. He hangs on and skins the cat though, only to fall down when trying a double clothesline. Ray and Abyss have the real fight with Abyss nailing the chokeslam. Ray is right back up though as Spud shakes the ropes like the Warrior. A cross body has no effect either but here’s Eric Young at #8 to distract from Spud’s ineptness.

Eric hammers away on everyone in sight but Ray fights back. The Bully scares Spud to the floor but under the bottom rope so everyone is still in. Ray yells at Spud for not helping him get rid of Eric and here’s Ethan Carter III at #9. Eric goes right for him but Spud gets in a few shots from behind to give Ethan control. Spud tries to jump Bully again and gets shouted down into the corner. The five guys in the ring don’t do much else until Bad Bones comes in at #10.

Bones slugs away at everyone in sight which fits his brawling style. Again this goes nowhere until Samoa Joe is in at #11. Much like everyone else, Joe hammers away on everyone in sight upon entering the ring. A nice suplex puts Carter down before Joe settles in on Bad Bones. That doesn’t last long as Joe easily backdrops Bones out and it’s off to Joe vs. Bully. Spud actually eliminates Bully on his own but Joe wacks Spud in the head to put him on the mat.

Magnus comes out to give us a final grouping of Magnus, Joe, Spud, Abyss, Carter and Young. Joe and Magnus immediately go at it with Joe getting the early advantage but getting low bridged out to the floor to get us down to five. Abyss gets gang eliminated but Spud charges at Young and flies over the ropes to the floor. Eric dropkicks both Carter and Magnus down as things speed up. He gets both of them up for something resembling a double Death Valley Driver but gets crotched on the top and punched out by Magnus. Carter uses the distraction to eliminate Magnus for the win.

Rating: D+. This was almost every battle royal that they’ve ever had on this series. At the end of the day there’s only so much you can do with a show like this as battle royals only have so many stories available. Spud was funny and him eliminating Ray put a good cap on their events, but this show exists in a vacuum so it’s not like this is going to mean anything long term.

Carter gets the money to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was one of the more entertaining One Night Onlys but it wasn’t great throughout. The Ray/Spud tag match was one of the most entertaining matches I’ve seen in years and the Beer Money vs. Wolves match was a very solid match in its own right. The one thing that sticks out to me more than anything though is how different this was from Impact.

Matches had time to play out, there were no swerves or heel authority figures dominating things, and no randomly thrown in gimmicks. It was VERY nice for a change and a good example of what TNA is capable of when they stop taking themselves so freaking seriously. Compare this to Sacrifice where a total of nothing happened and the show was horribly boring.

Also, the fact that this was $15 for the HD version is a big factor. For $15, this was a very solid way to spend two and a half hours watching wrestling, especially if you need a break from the WWE Network. The whole series of shows is far better than anything else you get from TNA and are actually worth checking out if you have nothing better to do.

Results
British Invasion b. Gunner/Chris Sabin – Top rope elbow to Sabin
Samoa Joe/Bad Bones b. Robbie E./Christopher Daniels – Muscle Buster to Daniels
Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries – Rollup to Aries
Wolves b. Beer Money – Top rope double stomp to Storm
Eric Young/Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man/Kazarian – Rollup to Kazarian
Abyss/Samuel Shaw b. Jesse Godderz/Zema Ion – Standing choke to Godderz
ODB/Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne b. Alpha Female/Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – Bam to Tapa
Ethan Carter III won a battle royal last eliminating Magnus

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Sacrifice was this past Sunday and not a lot has changed. Given the card though, that’s not really a big surprise. The next PPV is in June which sounds far better than having it May when TNA won’t be ready for another show. Other than that there really isn’t anything set up as Young is still champion and beat Magnus clean, meaning he needs a new challenger. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bully Ray spray painting something on a table.

Eric Young talks about how real it is that he’s still champion and goes into MVP’s office. The boss congratulates him on his win and says Eric can prove his worth every week. That’s cool with Eric so here are Gunner, Mr. Anderson and Bobby Roode. They’ll draw cards from a deck. The lower two cards will face off and the winner faces the high card, with the winner of that getting a World Title shot. Anderson and Gunner tie while Roode gets an ace, meaning it’s Anderson vs. Gunner first and the winner faces Roode for the title shot. This is all tonight apparently.

Here’s Magnus with something to say. He isn’t cool with not being in the World Title competition tonight and demands that MVP come out here and explain that decision. Instead he gets Abyss through the crowd. The brawl is on and Abyss lays Magnus out with a chokeslam. He pulls out a chair as the fans want Janice. They get what they want but Magnus bails. The announcers play up the idea that Abyss may not have a contract, despite him getting a World Title shot two weeks ago.

Here’s Ray with a table and holding his ribs. He holds the table up and it says DIXIE. Ray says he might not be as big and fat as he used to be but he can promise one thing: if he sees Dixie in this building tonight, she’s going through that table.

Dixie arrives and has nothing to say.

In the back Spud tried to hide Dixie but she’s not afraid.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

Winner faces Roode later tonight for a title shot. Feeling out process to start as they trade some headlocks. Gunner’s advantage doesn’t last long as Anderson shoves him off and puts on a headlock of his own. A hammerlock doesn’t work all that well for Mr. either so he hooks another headlock. Gunner catches a charging Anderson in a fall away slam but James Storm interferes because the feud isn’t over yet. Storm gets knocked to the floor before accidentally kicking Anderson in the back of the head, allowing Gunner to hit an F5 for the pin at 3:47.

Rating: C-. This was a lot of stalling before the finish, but hopefully this transitions to Anderson vs. Storm, because Gunner vs. Storm has been dead and buried for well over a month. I also like that they making the transition naturally instead of just shoving it down our throats because the script calls for it.

Magnus comes in to see someone who looks like former NXT talent Kenneth Cameron. Back from a break and that’s who it seems to be, though he’s going by Bram here. They seem to know each other and Bram wants Magnus to get back to his roots. A fight nearly breaks out but Bram says he’s here for Magnus’ own good.

Ethan Carter III is in the ring and says he’s facing Kurt Angle in the ring next week. Fans: “WHERE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND???” Tonight Ethan is going to have an exhibition with Rockstar Spud. They grapple around for a bit with Ethan of course getting the better of it. Ethan tells Spud to assume the position so Spud gets on all fours. Carter: “That’s a little too much position.” This brings out Angle who says that was stupid. Next week Carter will be facing a new Kurt Angle. It’s one that’s out for blood and revenge because Carter has ticked him off. Next week, the undefeated streak ends.

We see Rebel and Knux’s segment from Sunday, saying they’ll be here with two of their friends named The Freak and Crazy Steve next week.

Bobby Roode vs. Gunner

Winner faces Young tonight for the World Title. Roode takes him down into the corner and stomps away to start but Gunner fights back with power and a backdrop for two. Roode sends him out to the floor and into the steps as he takes over. Back in and Gunner charges into an elbow in the corner and we hit a double arm crank.

A dropkick to the ribs puts Gunner down again but he comes back with ax handles to the chest. Gunner hits a running knee to the chest and loads up the F5, only to be raked in the eyes. Roode’s O’Connor Roll is blocked and Gunner grabs a DDT for two. The Roode Bomb is countered and Gunner hits a slingshot suplex, only to walk into the Roode Bomb for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: C-. The time hurt it here but more than that it’s a waste of a story. This could have been the second week of a competition to set up Young’s challenger but this is TNA so we have to do everything at a million miles an hour while making sure Dixie Carter gets to be on TV every week. It’s rather annoying but it’s the way things work here.

The Beautiful People get a letter saying their clothes are inappropriate. Angelina’s solution: put on evening gowns and strip them off.

Here’s Dixie with security to set up the table with her name on it in the ring. She brags about putting Ray through a table and injuring his ribs in the process. Ray needs to be afraid of Dixie, but here’s the Bully to disagree. The fans want to see her go through a table and Ray likes the idea as well. He tells security to get out of his way because they all want to see her go through a table. They actually listen, only leaving three guards for Dixie. Ray charges the ring and throws them all off before loading up the powerbomb. This brings out MVP, who says both of them are suspended from the Impact Zone for this. Ok then.

Willow vs. James Storm

Storm hammers away to start but Willow escapes the Eye of the Storm and hits a few dropkicks to take over. A mule kick sends Storm into the corner and a cartwheel into a right hand to the jaw drops him down. There’s the slingshot dropkick followed by a Twisting Stunner to send Storm outside. Willow slides through the ropes and drops an elbow to the ribs in a nice move. Storm is stood up next to the barricade for Poetry in Motion off the steps. Willow gets a chair but misses a running Fameasser onto the steps with it to put him down on the floor. Storm pulls out the beer bottle and shoves the referee for the DQ at 4:03.

Rating: D+. This was setting up stuff for the future it seems, which is fine given that they’re coming off of a PPV. Still though, it’s not the most interesting stuff in the world. Willow is only so interesting after they keep shouting that it’s Jeff Hardy week after week, but it’s better than the same guy every week.

Post match Willow hits Storm with the umbrella and stalks him up the ramp, right into a Mic Check from Anderson.

The Bro Mans and Zema blame MVP for losing their titles so he uts them in a six man tag against the Wolves and a surprise partner. The three of them leave and Ray comes in to yell at MVP. He says he gave MVP the job at Lockdown but MVP shouts him down and suggests that Ray do something outside of the arena.

Eric Young says there’s history between him and Roode, but he knows Roode better than anyone.

Zema Ion/Bro Mans vs. Wolves/Sanada

It’s a brawl to start with the Wolves LAUNCHING Ion over the top onto the Bro Mans. They howl, setting up a double suicide dive followed by a plancha from Sanada to take out Zema. Back inside and Robbie’s chops have no effect on anyone as he’s left all alone. Jesse and Ion get back up to take Eddie down as the heels get their first advantage. Edwards nips back up though and enziguris Ion down.

The Bro Mans are sent to the floor again and it’s hot tag to Richards to clean house. Ion is thrown into the air for a kick to the ribs as Tenay announces Bro Mans vs. Wolves for the titles next week in a ladder match. The Bro Mans come back in to break up a cover but it’s a tag off to Sanada as Ion is left alone 3-1. All three good guys go up top, setting up the stomp from Edwards, a moonsault from Sanada and another stomp from Richards for the pin at 3:39.

Rating: C. Now THAT was a squash. I’m not sure what it sets up for the future as Ion got destroyed and Richards beat up the Bro Mans on his own, but at least it was entertaining at the moment. To be fair though, I don’t think TNA knows how to think more than a week in advance anyway so it’s not right to criticize them for it.

Here are the Beautiful People in evening gowns with Angelina saying they’re going to take it all off. They start but stop almost immediately because the people don’t deserve it. This brings out Gail Kim who says they’re making a mockery of the division. She’s going to make sure the Beautiful People get stripped and the attack is on. Velvet bails and Angelina escapes a few seconds later. Gail gets the belt as Madison Rayne and Brittany sneak up and rip the gowns off the Beautiful People.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Roode gets a jobber entrance. Feeling out process to start with Young grabbing an armdrag into an armbar. A dropkick staggers Roode and we take our last break. Back with Roode sending him over the top and out to the floor before a whip sends him into the steps. Roode throws him back in and puts on a seated full nelson. Eric fights back up and takes out a cameraman by mistake before nailing a belly to belly.

Roode bails to the floor and gets taken down by a suicide dive. Back in and Bobby grabs a quick spinebuster for two before the piledriver gets the same for Young. The Roode Bomb gets two as well and they slug it out with the champion taking over. Roode nails an enziguri but can’t hit a Roode Bomb out of the corner. Instead Eric shoves him to the mat and hits the top rope elbow for the pin at 13:23.

Rating: C. Eric getting clean wins over former world champions is a good idea for him with the emphasis on the word clean. I was sick of seeing those title matches with seven or eight people running in and it’s so nice to see a decent wrestling match to close out the show for the title. Not a great match and it should have been given more build, but this worked well enough.

Ray is in the back and says he’s going to Nashville.

Overall Rating: C-. The show set up some interesting stuff for the future, but at the same time all of the old problems were present. First and foremost, TNA feels the need to go through everything they can as fast as they can without letting their stories grow. The Roode vs. Young match could have been interesting but instead they decided to set it up with two matches and do the title match in the span of two hours. How is that supposed to draw an audience when the thing is over by the time they hear about it?

Ray vs. Dixie doesn’t do anything for me as I can’t imagine we’ll ever see the payoff of Dixie going through a table, unless they pull a surprise in New York. The rest of the feuds weren’t bad, but I have a bad feeling they’re just setting up another set of three month feuds that go on WAY too long and wear out their welcome. TNA needs to find a neutral pace and stick with it because this is getting old fast.

Results
Gunner b. Mr. Anderson – F5
Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Roode Bomb
Willow b. James Storm via DQ when Storm shoved the referee
Wolves/Sanada b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Top rope double stomp to Ion
Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Top rope elbow

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This is one of TNA’s rare PPVs and it’s actually coming on the heels of another. That being said, there’s not a ton of interesting stuff happening in TNA at the moment. The big stories are Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode in a tables match and Eric Young vs. Magnus II for the World Title, which isn’t doing much for me as a main event feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is narrated by Eric Young and talks about how Eric isn’t the typical champion and how he’s doing all of this for the people. Magnus says he’s above Eric and the people and was born to be a champion. TNA actually claiming this isn’t taken from Daniel Bryan makes me chuckle.

Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans/Zema Ion vs. Wolves

It’s three on two with the Bro Mans/Zema defending. They’ve cheated time after time to keep the titles using help from whichever member wasn’t in the match at the time so tonight everyone is in the match at the same time. Before the match Eddie gets on the mic and asks Christy to read something. It’s a note from MVP saying this is now No DQ.

The Wolves clean house to start and low bridge the champions to the floor before LAUNCHING Ion over the top to the floor. Stereo dives take the Bro Mans out again before the Wolves take turns mauling Zema with whatever painful looking strikes they can think of. Ion finally gets in a shot with his laptop to put Eddie down and the champions take over. Davey is dropped throat first onto the barricade as we finally get down to one on one.

Jesse gets two on Edwards off a powerslam before Robbie comes in to choke with some tape. Off to Ion who gets slapped in the face but comes back with a hard elbow to keep Eddie in trouble. Back to Robbie for a chinlock before the champions start double teaming Edwards. A nice dropkick from Jesse gets two but he gets caught in a belly to back suplex. The numbers game keeps the champions in control though as Ion pulls Richards off the apron and prevents a tag.

Back in and Eddie takes both Bro Mans down with a double hurricanrana before the hot tag brings in Richards. Davey cleans house and throws Robbie into Zema for a front facelock (as in Ion has Robbie in the hold) before dropkicking Ion down, forcing him to DDT Robbie at the same time. That was so contrived looking I can’t begin to comprehend it. The Wolves dominate the champions and hit the double double stomp on Jesse for the pin and the titles at 10:15. Tenay’s reaction is as unemotional as I have ever heard for a title change.

Rating: C. Very stupid DDT spot aside, this was a nice choice for an opener. The fans love the Wolves and reacted well enough to the title change, but the impact is kind of lost due to this being the second time they’ve won the belts. The No DQ stipulation wasn’t needed at all here and was only used for the laptop spot, which could have easily been a knee to the back.

Samuel Shaw says he’s a perfectly normal man and will send Anderson to the mental institution tonight.

We recap Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson. Basically Shaw is nuts and stalked Christy Hemme so Anderson is fighting for her. Shaw’s mom is named Christy and is straight out of a horror movie, offering everyone pie and acting like her son is perfectly normal.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

Commitment Match, meaning you have to take your opponent outside and put him in a van to win and the loser goes to a mental institution. Shaw runs away from Anderson to start and Christy is at ringside. After hiding behind Christy, Shaw is sent into the post, apron and barricade to give Anderson the early advantage. They head inside with Shaw nailing Anderson in the ribs with a shoulder but missing a charge and falling back to the floor.

Shaw grabs the standing choke on the floor and puts him out in a few moments but now has to drag him to the back. Instead he drags Christy inside and says she’s coming with him whether she likes it or not. Christy slaps him in the face but Shaw seems to like it. The distraction lets Anderson get back up and nail a clothesline and neckbreaker to send Shaw crawling up the aisle. Anderson says no no no and sends him into the barricade before kicking Samuel in the face.

A Mic Check off the stage is countered with some elbows but Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry instead. He says Shaw is going for a little ride but first it’s a chair to Shaw’s ribs and back. Anderson whips him into the barricade again and they head into the interview area.

They find JB and Anderson makes him interview Shaw while holding him in a headlock. Shaw is put on a cart and wheeled into some metal boxes as they find the van. The distraction of opening the doors lets Samuel get in a few cheap shots as Christy comes in. She distracts him before hitting Shaw low and there’s a Mic Check to send Shaw into the van for the win at 10:30.

Rating: D+. Well that….happened. I doubt this is the end of the feud because it’s TNA and things don’t end after a few gimmick matches, but there’s no reason for them to keep going. At least Christy didn’t turn on Anderson to side with Shaw like I was expecting, but there’s still time for her to do something stupid like that.

Ethan Carter says he didn’t do anything wrong by beating Kurt Angle because it was all about making a name for himself. Angle has been in the ring with a bunch of legends and won a bunch of titles, but there’s one man that Angle will never ever (repeat about 15 times) and that’s Ethan Carter. Spud doesn’t like Willow either.

Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III vs. Willow/Kurt Angle

Carter hides in the ropes to avoid Kurt to start before quickly tagging in Spud. Angle just stares as Spud tries to get fired up before threatening to knock Spud all the way back to England. Back to Carter as we’re over a minute and a half in with no contact. Ethan bails to the floor as the stalling continues. Back in and Angle tries an ankle lock but Carter dives over to tag Spud in. The Englishman goes outside too as we’ve had about 15 seconds of action in three minutes.

Willow gets the tag and dives onto both guys who fail to catch him, allowing Willow to crash onto the floor. He was holding the umbrella at the time so the fans chant Mary Poppins. Angle misses a charge into the steps and Willow has to take both heels down with a Whisper in the Wind back inside. Carter gets in a cheap shot though and Spud hammers away to take over. A snap suplex gets two on Willow as Angle is still down on the floor. I’d guess he’s still hurt given how much he’s been laying around.

The double teaming continues until Angle sneaks in for some rolling Germans on Carter. There’s the ankle lock but Spud tries to make the save with a sleeper. That goes about as well as you would expect and it’s an ankle lock on Spud until Carter chop blocks Kurt down. Willow breaks up a leg lock and cleans house until Spud is left alone in the ring against both good guys. Twist of Fate into the Angle Slam into the Swanton is good for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. This could have closed the first hour of any episode of Impact. Angle isn’t ready to come back full time yet after that knee injury and in that case, he needs to sit down again for awhile. It’s obvious that they’re hiding his condition and that’s fine, but it doesn’t make for interesting matches. I’m assuming Carter doesn’t lose until BFG.

Eric Young loves when the fans cheer for him and he’s not losing the title because it makes him feel too good.

Knux and his girlfriend are coming back to TNA. She says he’ll get all the rebel he can handle, which I think is her name. Knux says there will be two other people joining them: Crazy Steve and the Freak. Rebel isn’t pleased.

Video on Sanada winning the X Title and how important it is in Japan.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno

This is the third match in a best of three series for the title. Feeling out process to start and they trade some near falls until it’s a standoff. A hurricanrana puts Tigre down to the floor for a breather before Sanada catches him in a rolling cradle for two. Tigre comes back with a rollup of his own and a kick gets the same. A freaky looking neck lock (think a headscissors on the mat with Tigre cranking on the arm) has Sanada in trouble but he quickly counters into a dragon sleeper.

Tigre escapes again and tries a springboard but gets dropkicked out of the air in a nice counter. Back up and a Jericho springboard dropkick sends Sanada out to the floor. A sloppy flip dive takes out Sanada again but he’s able to get his knees up to block a moonsault back inside.

Sanada hits a pair of springboard chops to the head drops Tigre but he comes back with a release suplex to send Sanada into the ropes. The challenger goes up top but gets pulled down with a top rope hurricanrana. Sanada misses his top rope moonsault and Tigre escapes the dragon suplex. A cradle DDT puts Sanada down again but he avoids a Phoenix Splash, setting up the moonsault to retain the title at 9:40.

Rating: C. Take two guys and let them fly around for a few minutes. They didn’t mean anything at all and it was pretty much every single cruiserweight match ever in WCW that didn’t have Mysterio, Kidman or Guerrera. I also have no idea why this was a best of three series as it meant nothing at all.

James Storm promises to cut Gunner down to size.

We recap the I Quit match. Storm and Gunner randomly teamed up just under a year ago before turning on each other after losing the titles to the Bro Mans. This is I believe their fourth gimmick match of the feud.

James Storm vs. Gunner

I quit match. They slug it out to start with Storm getting the better of it and knocking Gunner out to the floor. Storm whips him into the barricade hard enough to knock it over on top of Gunner. They fight over the steps with Gunner taking over with a hard clothesline. Gunner throws him back inside and finds a trashcan filled with toys. Storm kicks the ropes low into Gunner as they come back inside before an Elevated Stunner (think Orton) but Gunner won’t quit.

A pair of chair shots still won’t make Gunner quit and a cookie sheet still doesn’t do the trick. Storm chokes away in the corner until Guner FINALLY comes back with a running knee to the face to take over. It’s time for the first weapon from Gunner as he grabs a trashcan lid and blasts Storm in the head over and over. Storm finally gets one of his own for a duel but Gunner keeps control.

Gunner nails a swan dive but this time it’s Storm that won’t quit. Instead Gunner tries a charge but goes hard into the post to change control again. Storm sends him into the post one more time and plants Gunner with an Elevated DDT on the floor. Naturally Gunner isn’t ready to quit yet and Storm is getting frustrated.

Storm finds the beer bottle and blasts Gunner in the head to cut him open but of course Gunner won’t quit. Off to a Boston crab of all things but Gunner is quickly in the ropes. Some belt shots to the back have Gunner in trouble and there’s the Last Call to put him down again. He still won’t quit though so Storm just rips at the cut to draw more blood. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle and screams NEVER before hitting three straight F5s.

With nothing else to do, Gunner sets up the two chairs in the ring and bridges the barricade across it. A HUGE superplex puts Storm through the steel and both guys are almost done. Gunner picks up a piece of the beer bottle and drives it into Storm’s head to make him quit at 19:04.

Rating: B-. Now NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. Yeah the match wasn’t bad but I just don’t need to see this match ever again. We get it: Gunner can beat James Storm. Now let us find out what he can do against someone else. Gunner getting the spot instead of Young makes more sense, but I guess Young’s goofiness is just better for business. Or something.

Angelina Love says Madison Rayne is a charity case and tonight she’ll win her sixth Knockout Title.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is defending and quickly knocks Angelina out to the floor with a shoulder. Angelina has a meeting with Velvet Sky and comes back in for a headlock and shoulder of her own. Madison takes her down with a nice trip but can’t use the headscissors face slam into the mat. Instead it’s a baseball slide to send Love back to the floor but she sends a following Rayne face first into the apron.

Back inside and the Beautiful People take turns choking on the ropes and in the corner to little avail. Madison gets a quick sunset flip for two but gets sent to the floor where she beats on Velvet a bit. Back in and the challenger puts on a figure four with her legs in a nice touch. An enziguri puts Love down again though and now the face slam works.

Velvet tries to help her friend but the champ dives on both of them in an awesome visual. They head inside again and it’s the Rayne Drop for two. Angelina’s Botox Injection (Brogue Kick) gets the same and the fit is thrown. Madison comes back with a spear but Velvet sprays her in the eyes with hairspray, allowing Love to roll Rayne up with a handful of tights for the pin and the title at 8:15.

Rating: C-. It’s a Knockouts match so you’ve seen the whole thing before at least a few times. Angelina winning the title again makes sense in storyline terms but it’s still nothing new. I don’t really care about the Beautiful People reunion as it feels like we’ve traveled back in time instead of doing something that might get people to care. That almost never works in wrestling, at least when the past act is the focus.

Bully Ray starts a tables chant and promises to put Bobby Roode through the wood.

We recap Ray vs. Roode, which is fallout from Lockdown where Ray turned on Roode and cost his team the main event. They’ve put each other through tables ever since, setting up this tables match.

Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode

Tables match. They slug it out to start with the Bully getting the advantage and nailing a nice backdrop. A side slam has Roode in trouble and Bobby is bleeding from the lip. The Flip Flop and Fly has Roode down again and it’s already table time. Ray takes too much time though and Roode gets in a shot to take over. Bobby knocks him off the apron but can’t drive Ray through a table.

Back in and Ray hits a dropkick of all things but takes too much time getting a table, allowing Roode to come back with a nice neckbreaker. Bobby sets up a table in the corner and they fight over a suplex with neither guy being able to pull it off. With that not working, Bobby shoves him into the corner and yells a lot before kicking Ray in the chest. He loads up Ray’s powerbomb but gets backdropped down for his efforts.

Roode snaps Ray’s throat across the top rope but Bully chops the skin off Bobby’s chest back inside. Neither guy can hit a powerbomb through the tables and there goes the referee. Of course now Ray is able to powerbomb Roode through the table with no one seeing it but the fans.

Ray goes to get another table but takes too long, allowing Roode to hit a spinebuster. The Roode Bomb through the table doesn’t work so Bobby goes up, only to dive into the cutter. Ray puts Roode on two tables at ringside before going up top, only to have Dixie Carter in a beard (seriously) appear and shove him through the tables to give Roode the win at 13:55.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but the ending made my head hurts. As I said earlier, we’ve seen these two put each other through tables for weeks now and seeing it happen again at a bearded Dixie Carter’s hands (I can’t get over that) doesn’t make it any more interesting. It’s just something else that happened and it’s not much to see.

Magnus says that he’ll show Eric Young what a wrestling champion is tonight. He has no backup so he can prove his biggest criticism wrong. Magnus: “You can call me Wreck-It Ralph because there’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

We recap Magnus vs. Eric Young. Eric won a gauntlet match for a shot at the title later in the night where he won the belt in a shocker. Tonight is Magnus’ rematch which is basically people’s champion vs. man destined to be a champion. This gets a music video treatment which is basically a career retrospective for Young.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Eric Young

We get the big match intros and Eric is defending. The fans of course chant USA for the Canadian champion. Magnus gets in Young’s face to start and shoves him into the corner as we get a SUPER ERIC chant. Young comes back and takes the Brit down before walking over his spine. Back up and they trade headlocks until Magnus cranks on both of Eric’s arms with a knee in the back. Eric rolls out with ease and Magnus heads outside to think about it.

The champ hits a nice plancha to take Magnus down and the fans chant EY. It’s so nice that we look at it again and the background is missing, so instead of a graphic in the back it’s the same video that is on the mini screen in the replay. Eric dives off the apron into a belly to belly (replay again and this one works) to give Magnus control. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Young followed by a knee that might have been low.

Eric tries to fight back but gets caught in a drop toehold into a camel clutch. We get a light dueling “Let’s Go EY/EY Sucks” chant as Eric fights up and they both hit cross bodies. That works so well that they do it again with clotheslines and both guys are down. Eric wins a slugout and scores with a flying forearm followed by a clothesline. Magnus escapes the piledriver but gets caught in a nice belly to belly. The champion misses a moonsault and gets slammed down, setting up Magnus’ top rope elbow for two.

A wheelbarrow suplex into a neckbreaker puts Magnus down and it’s Eric’s elbow connecting for a near fall. Young still can’t get the piledriver as Magnus counters into a Kingsland Cloverleaf. A rope is quickly grabbed though and it’s Eric putting on a horrible looking Scorpion until Magnus makes the ropes even faster than Eric did. Magnus nails him with a right hand on top and a slam down gets two more. The referee stops Magnus from bringing in a hammer, allowing Eric to connect with the piledriver for an even closer near fall. There’s a second piledriver and the elbow to retain the title at 15:44.

Rating: B-. So I guess Eric is the long term plan because…..well because they’ve tried EVERYTHING else and it hasn’t worked. This was actually far better than I was expecting as they told a decent story, though the ending didn’t really work too well. It’s the match of the night for sure though and a good way to close a show.

Overall Rating: C. This just didn’t do it for me. I see no reason for this to be a PPV and it feels like their old Russo shows: gimmicks added for no reason at all (No DQ in the opener and the van stuff with Anderson vs. Shaw), stories that just keep going (Storm vs. Gunner) and a main event that tried but just didn’t feel like a big match because of who was involved.

It’s not that the show was terrible because it did have its moments, but it’s a reflection on how unappealing TNA really is at the moment. It’s a watchable show and the main event isn’t bad, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. Also, where was Abyss? As in the guy that Impact was built around last week. I’d assume he didn’t make the show because they didn’t have time to figure him in because this show had SO much thought put into it right?

Results
Wolves b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Double stomp to Godderz
Mr. Anderson b. Samuel Shaw – Anderson threw Shaw into the van
Willow/Kurt Angle b. Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud –
Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Moonsault
Gunner b. James Storm – Storm quit after being cut with a beer bottle
Angelina Love b. Madison Rayne – Rollup with a handful of tights
Bobby Roode b. Bully Ray – Dixie Carter shoved Ray through two tables
Eric Young b. Magnus – Top rope elbow
 

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We’ll start with the main event. I’ll take Bully Ray to beat Bobby Roode in the tables match with a powerbomb. No seriously that’s the main event. If you watch Impact, this is the match we’ve heard the most of all month long. I don’t quite get the appeal of having people put each other through tables for a month and then pay to see them put each other through one more table but that’s just me.

Eric Young keeps the title because…..well because Eric Young is World Champion in a major wrestling company and according to them it’s not a ripoff of Daniel Bryan.

I’ll take Angelina to take the Knockouts Title because it’s the easiest thing they can do to keep the division as boring as possible.

I’ll actually take Storm to win the I Quit match, presumably through the use of someone else like Gunner’s dad. Why this feud is still going is anyone’s guess as this is about the fourth match that should have blown the thing off.

Angle/Willow over Carter/Spud to give the good guys their revenge. Again there’s no real thinking in this but that’s the case for almost everything in TNA anymore.

Give me Sanada over Tigre Uno in a match that just didn’t need to be a best of three at all.

I have a feeling Shaw wins the Committed match over Anderson with Christy’s help because Russo is back on the creative team as a consultant and that’s one of his favorites.

Oh and the Wolves get the belts back which should be their first reign but we needed them to win in Japan or whatever.

As I’m sure you can tell, I REALLY do not care about this show at all. That was what went through my head the entire show on Thursday and it’s the same case here. TNA is just not very interesting right now and the majority of the show feels like something they remembered doing before and just swapped the names around. It’s not interesting for the most part and there really isn’t much I want to see on this show which doesn’t need to be a PPV in the slightest. Things can turn around, but I don’t see much good going on at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at: