Impact Wrestling – May 11, 2017: Doth My Eyes Deceive Me?

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Date: May 11, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We open with a recap of Alberto El Patron beating Eli Drake to earn a shot at the GFW World Title tonight. Magnus is ready.

Opening sequence.

Andrew Everett vs. Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Matt Sydal

JB pesters Josh again.

JB annoys Josh again.

Hakim Zane/Idris Abraham vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Ava Storie vs. Laurel Van Ness

Spud still wants to hurt Swoggle.

Grand Championship: Marshe Rockett vs. Moose

Moose is defending but Rockett jumps him to start and hits a Harlem side kick for no cover. A dropkick knocks Marshe off the top though and Rockett chills on the floor for the rest of the round. Moose wins the first round and wastes no time, finishing Rockett with the sitout chokeslam at 35 seconds of the second round.

Post match Tyrus comes out for a distraction, allowing Eli Drake to come in with some chair shots to Moose. Chris Adonis runs in for the Adonis Lock and more chair shots from Drake leave Moose laying.

More JB and Josh.

Angelina Love vs. Alisha Edwards

Eddie goes after Angelina but Davey crutches him in the knee.

Lashley will be watching the main event.

GFW World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Magnus

Alberto is challenging and seems to have the fans behind him. An early armbreaker across the top rope has Magnus reeling and a clothesline makes things even worse. Magnus grabs a suplex and kicks away a bit as the champ is playing the de facto heel here. The back and forth continues with Patron hitting a top rope right hand to the jaw and grabbing a chinlock.

They fight to the top and both guys are knocked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Alberto in control until he walks into a Falcon Arrow (not a sitout powerslam Josh) for two. Josh rants about Jim Ross tweeting him about how awesome he is and complains about JB some more as the guys head outside for nothing of note.

Back in and the Backstabber sets up the armbreaker on Magnus but the champ gets a rope. The Cloverleaf sends Patron to the rope as well and they head up top again. Alberto misses his top rope double stomp and hurts his knee. Magnus gets in a powerbomb but gets pulled down into the armbreaker for the submission at 18:23.

Results

Andrew Everett b. Caleb Konley, Dezmond Xavier and Matt Sydal – Frankendriver to Xavier

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Hakim Zane – 450 splash to Abraham

Laurel Van Ness b. Ava Storie – Curb stomp

Moose b. Marshe Rockett – Sitout chokeslam

Alisha Edwards b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love used a chain

Alberto El Patron b. Magnus – Cross armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – April 27, 2017: They Have No Shame

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Date: April 27, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Trevor Lee vs. Matt Sydal

Low Ki talks about wanting to revive the X-Division, which is always changing.

Video on Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards.

Video on Moose, complete with Monday Night Football music.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Davey Richards

Matt Sigmon vs. Kongo Kong

Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Veterans of War

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. LAX

A lot of posing ends the show.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Trevor Lee – Shooting star press

Christina Von Eerie b. Ava Storie – Super Backstabber

Davey Richards b. Moose via DQ when Eddie Edwards interfered

Kongo Kong b. Matt Sigmon – Top rope splash

Veterans of War b. Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Magic Killer to Bokara

LAX b. Decay – Street Sweeper through a table to Steve


Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – April 20, 2017: More Tapings, More Problems

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Date: April 20, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero

In Memory of Rosey.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Joel Coleman/Jake Holmes vs. LAX

Konnan talks about how awesome the team is and mentions everyone by name. Cue Decay for the brawl and we take a break.

Bruce Prichard comes out and says, on behalf of Karen and Dutch Mantel (So they all officially have power? Got it.) that the main event will be for the X-Division Title. We can also add three more people to the match to make it a six way. A brawl breaks out with Dutt and Everett standing tall but getting into an argument over the belt.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Rosemary

LAX defends against Decay in a street fight next week.

Long recap of Laurel Van Ness and company vs. Allie/Braxton Sutter.

Chris Silvio vs. Kongo Kong

Kong suplexes him to start and hits the cannonball. A top rope splash ends Silvio at 1:18.

James Storm is ready to leave Lashley flat on his back.

Alberto El Patron is in Arizona and is going to be watching the World Title match.

Impact Wrestling World Title: James Storm vs. Lashley

Josh is very happy with the result.

Dutch Mantel says Dezmond Xavier is the fifth man in the X-Division match.

We look at Chris Adonis attacking Moose at a Border City Wrestling show.

Josh is still on commentary.

Quick recap of the main event.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Suicide vs. Andrew Everett vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. ???

Dutt moonsaults onto Suicide and Everett before sending Lee face first into the apron. Xavier avoids a Low Ki charge and moonsaults onto the pile as we take a break. Back with Everett taking the standing chest stomp from Lee. Trevor throws everyone out as Dutt seems to have an eye injury.

The announcers bicker again and Pope walks off. JB punches Josh to end the show.

Results

LAX b. Jake Holmes/Joe Coleman – Street Sweeper to Holmes

Rosemary b. ODB – Red Wedding

Kongo Kong b. Chris Silvio – Top rope splash

Lashley b. James Storm – Spear

Low Ki b. Dezmond Xavier, Sonjay Dutt, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Suicide – Top rope double stomp to Lee

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – April 13, 2017: Our Long Orlando Nightmare Is Over

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Date: April 13, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Reno Scum vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Decay

Josh leaves for a phone call.

Karen Jarrett wants to make Impact great.

Allie/Braxton Sutter vs. KM/Sienna

Post match Kongo Kong (the Fury that was to be unleashed, complete with his rather large and saggy breasts) comes in and beats up Sutter. Laurel Van Ness comes out and helps beat Allie down.

Rosemary vs. Santana Garrett

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide vs. Shane Helms

Helms is in a jacket, Impact t-shirt and jeans with knee pads. Everett goes after him at the bell but Helms bails to the floor and trips Everett, only to run from Suicide. Not that it matters as everyone else hits a dropkick, leaving Rockett in control. Everett slips on a springboard spinwheel kick but takes Rockett down anyway. Helms makes a save and finally takes off his jacket. A Downward Spiral stuns Everett but he knocks Helms outside anyway. Rockett comes back with a gordbuster, only to miss a high crossbody. Everett kicks Suicide to the floor and hits Rockett with the shooting star for the pin at 6:11.

Trevor Lee goes after Everett and gets laid out.

Matt Morgan wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Davey Richards

Davey kicks him down in the corner to start but stops to kiss Angelina. That earns him a suicide dive but more kicks stagger DJZ. The top rope double stomp misses though and DJZ kicks away before grabbing a jawbreaker. Richards pulls him down with an ankle lock for the submission at 3:22.

Post match Eddie Edwards and Alisha come out for the brawl but security breaks it up.

The Veterans of War are coming.

The announcers bicker one last time.

Team Matthews vs. Team Borash

Matthews: Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake, Tyrus

Borash: Alberto El Patron, Chris Adonis, Matt Morgan, Magnus

The locker room empties out to bid Josh (who is speechless in a funny moment) goodbye.

Results

Reno Scum b. Decay and Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Assisted double stomp to Steve

Allie/Braxton Sutter b. Sienna/KM – Crossbody to Sienna

Rosemary b. Santana Garrett – Red Wedding

Andrew Everett b. Shane Helms, Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. DJZ – Ankle lock

Team Borash b. Team Matthews – Top rope elbow to Bram

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – March 30, 2017: That’s….Not Bad

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Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

The X-Division wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Andrew Everett

Post match Gregory Shane Helms comes out to say that Everett has earned an opportunity of some sort for next week.

Fury will be unleashed on April 13.

We look back at the horrible Rebel vs. ODB match from last week with Earl Hebner kissing both of them for reasons of unfunny comedy. After a break, ODB and Hebner seemed to go on a date. There is no way this can possibly end well.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great again.

Announcers, bickering, nothing of note.

Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid want to win the Tag Team Titles tonight.

We recap Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship. Cody wants the title but Moose was in Japan so tonight they can finally have the title match.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Cody

Round two starts with Cody kicking the knee but missing a big kick to the head. Moose apron bombs him and grabs a chair, only to have Brandi get in his way. The distraction lets another leg shot set up the Figure Four but Moose hangs on to end the round. Cody wins the round to tie it up and round three starts with Brandi yelling at her husband and walking out.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

We look at Moose vs. Cody again.

Karen brings JB a message about a Knockouts gauntlet battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. I see absolutely no reason for Karen to have been out here for this scene.

KM vs. Braxton Sutter

Post match the four of them get in a fight with the forces of good clearing the ring. Laurel Van Ness stumbles out, somehow looking creepier every single week. Sutter and Allie look terrified.

Davey Richards wants to make Impact Wrestling better.

Fury is still coming.

Tag Team Titles: Garza Jr./Laredo Kid vs. LAX vs. Decay vs. Reno Scum

The titles are vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Thornstone and Kid start things off with Scum taking over in a hurry. Ortiz tags himself in for some lucha, capped off with a backbreaker to drop the Kid. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kid dives onto a huge pile of people, followed by Garza doing the same as we take a break.

Back with Garza getting two off a Lionsault but LAX makes the save. Abyss comes in and clotheslines Kid against the ropes but Scum tags themselves in for some corner clotheslines. Kid scores with a DDT so both members of LAX come in to clean house, including a top rope double stomp onto a hanging cutter to Steve. It means posing instead of covering though, leaving Rosemary and Diamante to get into a catfight. Ortiz loads Laredo up for a powerbomb with Santana coming off the top with a Blockbuster for the pin and the titles at 12:13.

Results

Andrew Everett b. DJZ – Small package

Moose b. Cody via split decision

KM b. Braxton Sutter – Powerbomb into a Backstabber

LAX b. Reno Scum, Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. and Decay – Sitout powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Kid

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – March 23, 2017: That’s a Really, Really Bad Sign

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Date: March 23, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

Davey Richards vs. Suicide

Josh yells at JB for saying “she” is here over and over. Josh: “STOP USING PRONOUNS!”

Laurel Van Ness is still falling apart when Sienna comes in to try and calm them down. She has a surprise for Allie and Braxton Sutter. Sienna also advises a shower but Laurel sings the Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow instead.

Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

A limo is here.

Decay vs. Reno Scum

Fury is unleashed on April 6.

Grand Championship: Eli Drake vs. Moose

LAX vs. DCC

Post match Storm gets in an argument with Kingston which should signal the beginning of the end.

DJZ wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

Moose vs. Cody for the Grand Championship is set for next week.

Rebel vs. ODB

Lashley vs. Jake Holmes

Non-title. Lashley stomps him down, stomps him down some more, hits a Dominator for two, delays a vertical suplex and hits the spear for the pin at 1:54.

Results

Davey Richards b. Suicide – Creeping Death

Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Sky High to Bokara

Reno Scum b. Decay – Double stomp to Steve

LAX b. DCC – Double team belly to back flip suplex to Storm

ODB b. Rebel – TKO

Lashley b. Jake Holmes – Spear

 

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/


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Impact Wrestling – March 16, 2017: Can We Make It Good First?

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Date: March 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Eddie Edwards talks about how he wants to make Impact great.

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Eli Drake/Tyrus

Josh says that was stupid.

Kayci Quinn vs. Brandi Rhodes

Back from a break with Rosemary destroying Quinn. Thankfully this gives the announcers another chance to argue while Quinn is looked at. JB says law and order is coming soon.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great.

Ethan Carter III vs. Alberto El Patron

Madison Rayne wants to make Impact great again.

JB says “she” is going to be here next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Suicide

Suicide dropkicks Everett and bulldogs Sutter for two. Pope goes on a rant against Suicide because they had a falls count anywhere match back in the day but the mask kept Pope from knowing when he was hurt. We get a nice fake out with Suicide teasing diving onto Everett but instead falling backwards onto the other two. Everett hits a big springboard shooting star onto all three as we take a break.

Rating: C. I am so sick of the X-Division doing the same stuff over and over. How many times have you seen the exact same stuff over and over with the title having no real story to it? Oh and well done on capitalizing on Sutter and Allie being the hottest thing in the promotion by having Allie just be a valet and Sutter taking the fall here when you have freaking Suicide right there.

Post match Sienna comes out to warn Allie and Sutter of upcoming pain. Laurel is very pleased.

Results

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Eli Drake/Tyrus – Rollup to Drake

Alberto El Patron b. Ethan Carter III – Cross armbreaker

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/


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Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2017: They Managed an Upgrade

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Date: February 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a quick explanation of Race for the Case.

Here are the Hardys to open things up with Jeff carrying the #1 briefcase. The Seven Deities have told Matt that the brothers must win as much tag team gold around the world as they can. Therefore, they have granted the Hardys, I kid you not, a teleportation device to send them on their International Expedition of Gold. Now they want the Bucks of Youth, the Day of New and the Family of Wyatts, all of whom must be deleted. Anyway, Jeff knows who he wants to fight.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley

Back with Jeff making his comeback with the usual and getting two off the Twist of Fate and Swanton. Another Swanton gets the same with Lashley putting his foot on the ropes. With the wrestling not working, Jeff sends him into the steps but misses a slingshot Swanton to the floor for an even worse than usual crash. The spear retains the title at 14:03.

Tyrus and Eli Drake are ready to shock the world with their briefcase choice.

Earlier today, Rosemary tried to get Brandi to join Decay. Brandi declined so Rosemary licked her face.

And now, a day in the life of Aron Rex. This involves riding around in a golf cart and Spud putting down a mat in the back.

Sienna vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Brooke starts fast and gets two off a middle rope X-Factor. A chase goes badly though, allowing Sienna to get in a cheap shot to take. Maria adds a few kicks to the back and distracts the referee so Sienna can choke for a bit. Guest commentator Madison Rayne would rather talk about how great Brooke looks so soon after having a child, continuing the tradition of absolutely worthless TNA commentary. The AK-47 is broken up and Brooke gets a bad looking Muta Lock but Maria offers a distraction, allowing the Silencer to put Brooke away at 5:39.

The DCC wants Decay in a falls count anywhere match.

DCC vs. Decay

Grand Championship: Drew Galloway vs. Rob Ryzin

Trevor Lee wants the injured X-Division Champion DJZ in a ladder match.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

Tyrus wants Drake to have some quiet time to prepare.

Robbie E. interrupts Rex and gets a match next week.

Drake wants Ethan Carter III with his extremely bruised hip/rib.

Eli Drake vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter gets taken down to start with Drake hammering in right hands as we take an early break. Back with Drake sending Carter face first into the apron but missing a baseball bat shot. Drake forearms him in the back/hip and says YEAH a lot. One heck of a clothesline puts Carter down but Drake takes a bit too long following up, allowing Carter to grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 10:47.

Results

Lashley b. Jeff Hardy – Spear

Sienna b. Brooke Tessmacher – Silencer

Drew Galloway b. Rob Ryzin – Futureshock

Trevor Lee b. DJZ – Lee pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Jackknife rollup

 

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Impact Wrestling – January 12, 2017: The New Beginning of More of the Same

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III

Last man standing with the winner getting the shot at Edwards at some point in the future. They brawl on the floor to start with Lashley hitting a powerslam on the concrete for seven, only to get slammed off the top, followed by a cutter. A suplex on the floor keeps Lashley down long enough for Ethan to set up two tables as we take a break.

Decay vs. DCC

They keep brawling out of the arena.

The Wolves say tonight is special because they can get their titles back.

Brooke is back and thrilled to get back in the ring.

Mike Bennett vs. Braxton Sutter

Post break, Maria yells about Allie screwing things up. Mike says Allie works for Maria so Maria can destroy her.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Hardys

The Wolves argue to end the show.

Results

Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Carter was driven through two tables

DCC vs. Decay went to a Double DQ when all four brawled on the floor

Braxton Sutter b. Mike Bennett – Rollup

Hardys b. Wolves – Rollup to Richards


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Impact Wrestling – January 5, 2017: No More Happy New Year

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Date: January 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a recap of the World Title situation with Ethan Carter III and Eddie Edwards going to a double pin and Edwards vs. Lashley going into the North Carolina woods at Total Nonstop Deletion.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Mike Bennett

Moose is defending. The announcers try to act like this was a great friendship before just giving up on the idea. Bennett kicks him down and grabs a chinlock before hammering away to gain favor with the judges. That sounds like it belongs in some lame adventure game. Another hard chinlock ends the first round, which Bennett easily wins. Moose fights back to start the second round and hits a middle rope moonsault for an early two.

Back up and Moose dives into a cutter for two. We hit another chinlock until Moose takes his head off with the Game Changer as the round ends. After a break, Moose wins round two and grabs the chokebomb for two. He misses a top rope moonsault though and Bennett grabs a piledriver for two. They very slowly slug it out with Moose hitting him in the face but getting kicked in the chest. Another slugout is enough for them to take it to the bell at 16:49 (counting breaks). Moose wins via split decision.

Swoggle is in the back when he runs into the Hardys. Matt asks if he was sent here by Mc-Mehon to infiltrate the event. Apparently he was and Matt laughs.

Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle

Spud wants to start this year with a win because the winning streak starts now. Swoggle starts fast with a spear, a German suplex and the Celtic Cross for a completely clean pin at 1:09.

Post match Spud quits.

Bennett goes up to Moose again and demands a rematch on the pay per view in a match where anything goes. Moose agrees.

Eli Drake holds up signs that say he gets to talk next.

Eddie is about to talk about his surprise when Lashley comes up with a threat.

Video on Total Nonstop Deletion.

Helms Dynasty vs. Decay

Post match the DCC jumps Decay from behind.

Maria has something special planned for Allie.

Allie vs. Sienna

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Allie goes right after her but gets taken down by Sienna instead. A one foot cover gets two and a sideslam gives Sienna the same. Sienna keeps getting distracted by Braxton Sutter on the floor but is still able to spit at Allie. That fires Allie up even more and she slams Sienna, only to have Laurel hug Braxton for a distraction. Allie is upset and the Silencer puts her away at 5:05.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Results

Moose b. Mike Bennett via split decision

Swoggle b. Rockstar Spud – Celtic Cross

Decay b. Helms Dynasty – Chokeslam to Everett

Sienna b. Allie – Silencer

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley and Ethan Carter III – Boston Knee Party to Lashley

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