Impact Wrestling
Date: May 11, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re back in the Impact Zone where the main event is over another promotion’s title. I know GFW and Impact have officially merged so it’s not as odd as it sounds but there’s something weird about the Global Force Wrestling World Title match main eventing Impact Wrestling. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Alberto El Patron beating Eli Drake to earn a shot at the GFW World Title tonight. Magnus is ready.

Opening sequence.

Andrew Everett vs. Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Matt Sydal

One fall to a finish. They start with the rapid fire near falls via sunset flips and rollups until Konley and Sydal put on stereo submissions. Neither of those go anywhere so Sydal drops a standing leg on Konley and gives Xavier a jawbreaker at the same time. Konley comes right back with a moonsault for two on Everett with Matt making a save. That’s enough of the wrestling so Everett and Xavier hit back to back dives onto everyone else. Back in and Konley hits a belly to back fisherman’s suplex (that’s a new one) for two on Sydal, only to have Everett grab the Frankendriver for the pin on Xavier at 6:24.

Rating: C. Starting the show with a match is the right call and I’m glad that they’re actually having Everett keep some of the pace instead of just having him lose and more on the next challenger. That’s how you build a division instead of just a champion and a challenger, which should help things a lot.

JB pesters Josh again.

Ethan Carter III promises that we’ll see the Cowboy tonight. I smell an impression.

KM orders a pizza and says his name is Billy. He takes the pizza from the delivery guy and starts eating but refuses to pay. The delivery guy says the bill says Billy but KM says that’s not his name. KM doesn’t like being called a liar and throws the guy out.

Here’s EC3 now dressed as a rather goofy cowboy. He talks about being a SOB from Boca Raton, Florida but sounds more like Waylon Mercy. Carter rode up on his steed Sebastian and sings a modified version of Friends in Low Places. Cue the real Storm for the beatdown but Carter takes off a boot and hits him in the head. Carter manages to handcuff him to the ropes and give him a whipping with a belt. Sounds like a strap match. The beating goes on for a good while with security taking their sweet time breaking it up.

JB annoys Josh again.

Hakim Zane/Idris Abraham vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Zane wristlocks Kid to start but Laredo puts him on his shoulders for a missile dropkick from Garza. Things speed up with Idris running the ropes until he floors Garza (who has removed his red pants for some reason) with a hard shoulder. Idris’ charge is countered with a powerbomb onto his partner though Zane is sent to the floor. A 450 gives Laredo the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. Sloppy match but they kept things moving fast enough to make this work. Kid and Garza are fine for your run of the mill lucha team and there’s always going to be room for something like that. Abraham and Zane looked good too though and with another tournament coming up for the GFW Tag Team Titles (which can’t just stay vacant and then disappear), it’s nice to actually set something up.

D’Angelo Dinero wants to make Impact great.

Ava Storie vs. Laurel Van Ness

This company doesn’t have a great mental health policy does it? Van Ness is still in the wedding dress and gets two off an early spear. A kick to the face and a running curb stomp is enough for the pin on Storie at 1:36.

Spud still wants to hurt Swoggle.

Here’s LAX, some of whom are sporting white face paint, for a Decay funeral. Konnan wants to show their disrespect and tells the champs to pour the ashes on the mat. This company threw their best team at LAX and now you have a dead clown and a monster eating through a feeding tube. Now it’s time for LAX to win the GFW Tag Team Titles for the sake of Latino pride. A fan waves an American flag and refuses to sit down. Cue the Veterans of War for the save, which is the only logical way to go. A fireman’s carry flapjack into a cutter plants Ortiz and LAX runs. Good segment.

Grand Championship: Marshe Rockett vs. Moose

Moose is defending but Rockett jumps him to start and hits a Harlem side kick for no cover. A dropkick knocks Marshe off the top though and Rockett chills on the floor for the rest of the round. Moose wins the first round and wastes no time, finishing Rockett with the sitout chokeslam at 35 seconds of the second round.

Rating: D. As usual, I have no idea what the rounds are supposed to add here. Moose could just as easily have hit the says thing for a win in about four minutes and I don’t get how a brief break changes anything. Moose dominated most of the match and won clean so what’s the point of the gimmick with the rounds?

Post match Tyrus comes out for a distraction, allowing Eli Drake to come in with some chair shots to Moose. Chris Adonis runs in for the Adonis Lock and more chair shots from Drake leave Moose laying.

More JB and Josh.

Dutch Mantel announces the return of Ultimate X between Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Low Ki for the title next week. This would feel like more of a surprise if the Ultimate X wasn’t above the ring.

Angelina Love vs. Alisha Edwards

Eddie Edwards is in his wife’s corner on crutches. Alisha charges at Love to start and we hear more about JB annoying Josh. Angelina’s comeback is cut off by a Futureshock but Davey Richards gets on the apron. That’s fine with Alisha who kicks the ropes between his legs, only to have Angelina hit Edwards in the back with a chain for the DQ at 2:32.

Eddie goes after Angelina but Davey crutches him in the knee.

Lashley will be watching the main event.

GFW World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Magnus

Alberto is challenging and seems to have the fans behind him. An early armbreaker across the top rope has Magnus reeling and a clothesline makes things even worse. Magnus grabs a suplex and kicks away a bit as the champ is playing the de facto heel here. The back and forth continues with Patron hitting a top rope right hand to the jaw and grabbing a chinlock.

They fight to the top and both guys are knocked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Alberto in control until he walks into a Falcon Arrow (not a sitout powerslam Josh) for two. Josh rants about Jim Ross tweeting him about how awesome he is and complains about JB some more as the guys head outside for nothing of note.

Back in and the Backstabber sets up the armbreaker on Magnus but the champ gets a rope. The Cloverleaf sends Patron to the rope as well and they head up top again. Alberto misses his top rope double stomp and hurts his knee. Magnus gets in a powerbomb but gets pulled down into the armbreaker for the submission at 18:23.

Rating: B. This felt like a main event match but the same problem persists: these two guys weren’t even in the company three months ago and they’re fighting over a title from a promotion that probably hasn’t even held thirty shows in the three years since it was founded (including all the co-promoted ones). Just drop the GFW stuff and let the Impact title be what matters.

That being said, this was quite the main event as they’ve really turned up the focus on the wrestling as of late. It’s not a classic or anything but I had a good time with it and the battle of the submission holds made it feel like a chess match. El Patron winning makes the most sense and should set up a rematch with Lashley at Slammiversary, which makes the most sense.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best rating but they’re certainly moving in the right direction. The wrestling is getting better and the stories are getting tighter. That doesn’t mean the stories are great (or even good at times) but I’ll take a focused direction over random chaos almost any day. If they can knock off some of the nonsense (Josh vs. JB, Swoggle vs. Spud, the GFW stuff), they could be in a very good place in a hurry.

Results

Andrew Everett b. Caleb Konley, Dezmond Xavier and Matt Sydal – Frankendriver to Xavier

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Hakim Zane – 450 splash to Abraham

Laurel Van Ness b. Ava Storie – Curb stomp

Moose b. Marshe Rockett – Sitout chokeslam

Alisha Edwards b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love used a chain

Alberto El Patron b. Magnus – Cross armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 27, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s back to Orlando and of course that means more from the battle of the announcers. Last week’s show ended with Low Ki becoming the new X-Division Champion but the last thing we saw was Jeremy Borash finally punching Josh Matthews in the face. I’m not sure where we go next but I have a feeling this doesn’t end until Slammiversary in July. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. Rewatching it doesn’t make it better.

Opening sequence.

The announcers preview the show….and here’s Josh Matthews. This company will not tolerate bullying announcers and Borash is J. B. Loser because yes, this feud is now a parody/reference to the JBL/Mauro feud. Borash is suspended from commentary and gone indefinitely. Josh takes his place on commentary. So yeah: not only has Impact decided to have this feud keep going but now it’s referencing a feud that caused Mauro Ranallo some mental health issues along with his job.

Trevor Lee vs. Matt Sydal

Sydal is the former Evan Bourne and used to wrestle for the company. Therefore, the announcement of this being his debut is inaccurate as it would be his return, though that’s the least of this company’s problems. Sydal kicks at the legs to start but gets tossed outside. Back in and they trade some kicks with Sydal hitting something like Big Show’s Log Roll (standing legdrop) for two, only to have to deal with Gregory Helms. That goes badly for the Helms Dynasty though as some heel miscommunication sets up the shooting star press to give Sydal the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C-. That would now be two people in the X-Division using the shooting star press as their finisher. Sydal felt like someone out of the Cruiserweight Classic here with a bunch of kicks and then a high flying finisher. The division really needs some fresh blood but I’m not sure how much value Sydal really offers.

Sienna doesn’t think much of Karen Jarrett.

Here’s Ethan Carter III for a chat. After making fun of the “Make Impact Great” line, Carter talks about Bruce Prichard telling him to look in the mirror. Carter did just that and saw a demigod. He’s tired of hearing the fans telling him that they liked him better as a bad guy. Carter is going to Slammiversary to recover the glory that he never should have lost in the first place. That only leaves James Storm, who is all talk and doesn’t need to be in Carter’s world.

Cue Storm to say he’s not here to dance because he hasn’t had enough to drink and Carter isn’t a pretty lady. Storm calls him fugly and asks for a fight but Carter walks out. One more insult brings Ethan back inside for the fight with James easily getting the better of it. Carter hides behind a production assistant though and he gets in a low blow to leave Storm laying. This was a good idea for a segment but Storm was too calm about what happened last week.

KM yells at a waiter who thought the large man called his meal good. Apparently that’s what’s wrong with America today. This was basically a modern version of the Razor Ramon vignettes.

Christina Von Eerie is the GFW Women’s Champion and will fight anyone.

GFW Women’s Title: Christina Von Eerie vs. Ava Storie

Von Eerie is defending and starts fast with a running boot to the face. A few OY OY OY chants look to set up a fireman’s carry but Storie slips out and hammers away. Josh brags about breaking JB’s streak of consecutive Impact’s because he forgets that JB was already on the show. Storie puts her on the middle rope but gets caught in a kind of super Backstabber to retain Von Eerie’s title at 2:58. Von Eerie was fine but forcing the GFW Champions in still doesn’t quite work.

Swoggle comes through the crowd and messes with Spud’s hair.

Low Ki talks about wanting to revive the X-Division, which is always changing.

Video on Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards.

Alberto El Patron thinks he should be #1 contender but here’s Magnus, who says he should get the shot because the GFW Title is a golden ticket. Stephanie Jarrett comes in and makes a GFW Title match for the #1 contendership.

Video on Moose, complete with Monday Night Football music.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Davey Richards

Moose is defending and has NFL Pro Bowlers D’Angelo Williams and Gary Barnidge in his corner. Moose throws Richards into the corner to start but gets superkicked in the leg to bring him off the ropes. Actually hang on a second as Davey stops to kiss Angelina Love. We hit a Figure Four for a long time until Moose grabs the rope with three seconds left.

Davey easily wins the first round but gets caught in an early powerbomb to start the second. Moose’s moonsault gets two but the Game Changer is blocked by more kicks. A hard running clothesline turns Davey inside out for two but he grabs the ropes until the clock runs out.

Moose wins the round to tie it up and dropkicks Davey out to the floor to start the third. Back in and Davey powerbombs his way out of a belly to belly superplex, followed by a top rope double stomp for two. We hit an ankle lock but here’s Eddie Edwards to jump Davey at 9:30 to keep the title on Moose. A previous Grand Championship match was No DQ but I don’t think the company even understands why this is still a thing.

Rating: C. The ending doesn’t help as they can’t even remember the rules for this title but at least it was a good match before we got there. They’re building Moose up as a champion that means something and that’s going to make the title change feel like something a lot more important when it finally happens.

The NFL guys shove Richards down and Barnidge gets in a slam. A few weeks ago he has one of the best brawls the company has seen in months and now he’s taking a bump that Rockstar Spud probably would have taken.

Swoggle rips up Spud’s notes so Spud pulls off Swoggle’s pants.

Matt Sigmon vs. Kongo Kong

Kongo has Laurel Van Ness, Sienna and KM with him. Sigmon’s shots to the ribs have no effect and Kongo gives him a sitout powerslam. The Cannonball sets up the top rope splash for the pin at 2:11.

Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Veterans of War

The Veterans are Mayweather (Crimson) and Wilcox (Jax Dane, former NWA World Champion). Thankfully Mayweather’s previous character is acknowledged but Josh would rather talk about the (admittedly awesome) deals on ShopTNA.com. Mario gets backdropped so it’s off to the huge Bahh. Wilcox hits a very impressive delayed Samoan drop and a High/Low gets two on Fallah. A double suplex has no effect on Mayweather so it’s a Magic Killer for the pin on Mario at 3:30.

Rating: C+. VOW looked good and I’d be interested in seeing how their offense looks on a normal sized opponent. My goodness Bahh and Bokara looked worthless here. They’re the Monster Factory Tag Team Titles because we NEED to acknowledge a training school’s titles. If you’re going to have them lose a match in such short fashion, just use jobbers.

Mayweather says the Veterans of War aren’t just characters because it’s who they are. He says they’d answer the call to go fight again at the drop of a hat but for now, they’re bringing the fight to Impact. They look forward to getting a shot at the Tag Team Titles because together, they are one. That worked very well and this team looks a lot better than most of the recent additions.

Swoggle, now in a towel, beats on Spud with a HAMMER. He hits him probably seven or eight times and is ejected by security. I know Swoggle isn’t full sized but he’s a professional wrestler and presumably lifts weights so shouldn’t these hammer shots break bones or potentially kill Spud?

Eli Drake rants about being ignored and Tyrus doesn’t think much of it.

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. LAX

LAX is defending and this is a street fight. It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) with Decay getting the better of it, including Abyss taking both champs down with a double clothesline. The barbed wire board is thrown in and it’s off to a break. Back with a large selection of weapons in the ring and Homicide hitting Abyss in the back with a chair.

It’s time for the kendo stick shots to the back as the champs keep dominating. Abyss saves Steve from a double superplex and throws him onto both champs. A chokeslam gets no cover so Abyss pelts a chair at Ortiz’s head. Rosemary mists Abyss by mistake though, allowing Santana to spear him through a barbed wire board. Diamante German suplexes Rosemary and Abyss is sandwiched between two barbed wire boards.

Steve comes back in though and gets two off a Death Valley Driver with Konnan making the save. Thankfully Steve doesn’t bother with Konnan but he does have to deal with Homicide. That goes nowhere so Steve puts Ortiz on a table and covers him with tacks, only to have Homicide make another save. The Street Sweeper through the table retains the titles at 13:37.

Rating: C+. Good brawl with the ending looking better than anything else, though it wasn’t much of a surprise to have LAX win. They’re a better team than I thought we were going to get so the tag division is starting to look good for the first time in a long time. Unfortunately that’s it for Decay as Steve is WWE bound but at least Decay was fun while they lasted.

A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show started off really, really bad but the second half was a good bit better. The tag division is going to have to carry the show as the main event stuff with the multiple World Titles is getting already tiresome but that’s the case up and down the card. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that the best division at the moment is one of the only ones with a single title. There’s some very bad stuff on here though with the JB/Josh opening segment being more sickening than anything else and Kongo Kong being an embarrassment but the show somehow worked well enough to pass for another week.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Trevor Lee – Shooting star press

Christina Von Eerie b. Ava Storie – Super Backstabber

Davey Richards b. Moose via DQ when Eddie Edwards interfered

Kongo Kong b. Matt Sigmon – Top rope splash

Veterans of War b. Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Magic Killer to Bokara

LAX b. Decay – Street Sweeper through a table to Steve

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 20, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s a fresh batch of tapings with this episode being billed as live, even though it was taped a few hours ago. The big story coming into tonight is the lack of Josh Matthews on commentary after his team lost the eight man tag last week. In other news, Lashley will defend the World Title against James Storm after a fan vote. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Rosey.

We look at James Storm winning the title nearly six years ago. Now it’s time for him to get the title back though Lashley doesn’t think much of it. Lashley: “I’m not good, I’m not bad. I’m me.”

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Joel Coleman/Jake Holmes vs. LAX

LAX is defending. Ortiz takes over on Coleman to start and it’s a suplex/high crossbody combination for two. Holmes comes in but is quickly sent into the corner for Poetry in Motion into a cannonball. The Street Sweeper (powerbomb/Blockbuster combo) is enough to put Holmes away at 2:36.

Konnan talks about how awesome the team is and mentions everyone by name. Cue Decay for the brawl and we take a break.

Here’s Karen Jarrett for a chat. Karen introduces herself and makes a major announcement: Global Force Wrestling and Impact Wrestling have officially merged. After a very weak “thank you Jarretts” chant, Karen declares this the Night of Champions with three title matches (not counting the Tag Team Titles).

She’s ready to bring someone out but here’s Sonjay Dutt to interrupt. He used to be a big deal in the X-Division so let’s make the X-Division Title match tonight’s main event. Oh and let’s throw him in there and make it a three way so he can win the title for the first time. This brings out Andrew Everett (the original challenger) to say it’s his shot tonight alone. Now it’s Gregory Helms and Trevor Lee interrupting, saying Helms runs the division. As for Dutt, if he never won anything around here, maybe it’s because he sucks.

Bruce Prichard comes out and says, on behalf of Karen and Dutch Mantel (So they all officially have power? Got it.) that the main event will be for the X-Division Title. We can also add three more people to the match to make it a six way. A brawl breaks out with Dutt and Everett standing tall but getting into an argument over the belt.

Anthony Mayweather (better known as Crimson) talks about growing up in a single parent household. He’s lived recklessly but now he’s changing because of his five year old son. He joined the US Army after dropping of college and that helped bring him here.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Rosemary

Rosemary is defending. ODB starts fast with a discus forearm but it’s way too early for the Bam. They head outside with Rosemary clotheslining her onto the ramp, only to miss a top rope backsplash inside. ODB’s rams into almost her crotch sets up a middle rope Thesz press for two but another Bam is broken up. The Bronco Buster doesn’t work either and it’s the Red Wedding to retain the title at 3:44.

Rating: D+. No time to do anything here but Rosemary winning is probably the best option as they seem to be trying to turn her into something special. She’s held the title for six months already and there’s a good chance that she’ll hold it at least until Slammiversary. ODB isn’t the most interesting character in the world so having her lose makes the most sense.

LAX defends against Decay in a street fight next week.

Bruce and Karen say Suicide has been added to the main event. Sienna comes up to Karen and asks where the GFW Women’s Champion is. Karen doesn’t think Sienna should be that excited to see the champ because she’s coming. No name is given.

Long recap of Laurel Van Ness and company vs. Allie/Braxton Sutter.

Chris Silvio vs. Kongo Kong

Kong suplexes him to start and hits the cannonball. A top rope splash ends Silvio at 1:18.

James Storm is ready to leave Lashley flat on his back.

Alberto El Patron is in Arizona and is going to be watching the World Title match.

Magnus says he should be #1 contender because he’s the GFW Champion and he got the fall in last week’s eight man tag.

Impact Wrestling World Title: James Storm vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending and has Josh Matthews in his corner. Josh sits in on commentary while JB does the ring announcing, much to Borash’s dismay. Storm gets backed into the corner to start as we hear about James being here for the first day. Well that’s what JB is talking about at least. Josh on the other hand is saying he’s the Jim Ross to Lashley’s Steve Austin.

Now it’s a talk about upcoming house shows (no dates mentioned) as Storm clotheslines Lashley outside. Cue Ethan Carter III so Josh grabs a beer bottle, only to have James hit Lashley from behind. A suplex onto the steps slows Storm down as we take a break. Back with Lashley still in control until Storm fights out of a chinlock. Storm gets in a few clotheslines and a running neckbreaker for two. Lashley heads up top but gets pulled back down, setting up an ugly top rope elbow.

Closing Time looks to set up the Last Call but Storm settles for two off a powerbomb instead. Lashley’s Dominator gets the same and there goes the referee (of course). Two Last Calls get no count so Storm goes outside and grabs the aforementioned beer bottle. Carter gets in as well though and blasts Storm with the bottle. The spear retains Lashley’s title at 17:07.

Rating: B. Overbooked (of course) but still good with Carter turning like he needed to and Josh switching over to a managerial role, which is easily the best call for him. I’m assuming we’ll now get Magnus vs. Alberto for the #1 contendership and we’re likely heading towards a triple threat match at Slammiversary.

Josh is very happy with the result.

Dutch Mantel says Dezmond Xavier is the fifth man in the X-Division match.

We look at Chris Adonis attacking Moose at a Border City Wrestling show.

Moose is all fired up but here’s Adonis with his arm in a sling. Davey Richards jumps Moose from behind and will be challenging for the title next week.

Josh is still on commentary.

Quick recap of the main event.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Suicide vs. Andrew Everett vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. ???

Lee is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The last entrant is…..Low Ki, who hasn’t been around here for about two years. Low Ki is in the suit and there are no tags here, as is usually the custom. Dutt grabs a tornado DDT on Xavier while walking across everyone else’s chest in something out of the Matrix. A six way standoff sees Lee get dropkicked out to the floor.

Dutt moonsaults onto Suicide and Everett before sending Lee face first into the apron. Xavier avoids a Low Ki charge and moonsaults onto the pile as we take a break. Back with Everett taking the standing chest stomp from Lee. Trevor throws everyone out as Dutt seems to have an eye injury.

Things slow down a bit as Josh clarifies his status: “I said I’d leave. I left for a week and now I’m back.” Lee keeps throwing people out until Everett Pele’s him. We get a parade of kicks, including Xavier hitting a 619 around the post to Ki’s ribs. Dutt’s top rope splash gets two and Suicide does the fall onto everyone else. We’re officially in an overrun because we’re “LIVE” and you don’t know what’s going to happen.

Everett dives onto everyone but Xavier breaks up the shooting star. With Xavier on top, Everett tries a springboard reverse hurricanrana but only gets his legs on Xavier’s back. Thankfully Xavier lands on his feet instead of actually taking the move. Everett hits the Frankendriver on Lee, only to have Ki kick him to the floor. A top rope double stomp to Trevor gives Ki the title at 19:00.

Rating: C+. That would be annual “See, we care about the X-Division” match. I’ve never been a Low Ki fan and I’m even less of a fan of these multi-man cluster matches as they’re just a bunch of people doing spots until the final spot. On top of that, while it’s very nice to see some fresh blood, I’m so glad TNA wasted our time with the Everett vs. Lee story because HERE’S A BIG MULTI-MAN MATCH INSTEAD! The match was fun but it felt like a longer version of something we’ve seen many times before, which isn’t what the X-Division needs.

The announcers bicker again and Pope walks off. JB punches Josh to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a really tricky one as they addressed some of the issues (needing fresh blood, better focus on the X-Division, some better matches) but ran into some new issues (the fresh blood isn’t interesting/very good, going with the short term over the long term and thinking a big multi-person match is good because it’s long and messy).

The big story of the night, the GFW merger, means nothing because GFW means nothing. Coming into tonight they were slightly below the NWA, which at least runs some regular events. GFW and Impact merging doesn’t mean anything and is really just a way to add in some new names who weren’t going to be signed by anyone else. It’s nice to get rid of the GFW (likely with a bunch of unification matches down the line) but it really didn’t need to be treated like a big moment.

All those problems aside, there was a definite energy around here and that’s a very welcome addition. Impact has felt stale and dull for a long time now and hopefully this energy keeps up over the taping cycle. It’s a better show than they’ve done in a long time, though I’m not sure I like a lot of the ideas they seem to be going with for the future.

Results

LAX b. Jake Holmes/Joe Coleman – Street Sweeper to Holmes

Rosemary b. ODB – Red Wedding

Kongo Kong b. Chris Silvio – Top rope splash

Lashley b. James Storm – Spear

Low Ki b. Dezmond Xavier, Sonjay Dutt, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Suicide – Top rope double stomp to Lee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 13, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Tonight is all about the announcers as we have an eight person tag between Team Borash and Team Matthews with the winner getting…..it seems just bragging rights actually. This is the top story in the promotion at the moment as we’re still waiting on most other stories to really take off. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We get a recap of most of last week’s show.

Reno Scum vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Decay

It’s not a good sign when your tag division is the champs and the three teams they beat to win the belts. Josh starts off by insulting “all the marks and idiots on Twitter” as Adam kicks Garza down. It’s off to Crazzy Steve as Josh talks about all the support he has on social media. The Kid gets dragged in so Abyss can hammer away, leaving Josh to insult the fans some more.

Josh officially confirms that he’s off commentary if his team loses, thankfully followed by Pope talking about the match for a few seconds. That’s too long though so let’s plug Fury being unleashed tonight and the Fite Network app. Luster comes in for a spinebuster on Steve but gets chokeslammed by Abyss. It’s back to Kid for a springboard dropkick to send Abyss outside, followed by a suicide dive from Adam. Luster hits a running Razor’s Edge into the corner and an assisted double stomp ends Steve at 6:10.

Rating: D+. This is going to be a really, really long night with the commentary being way more annoying than it needs to be. At the end of the day, it’s a match about arguing commentators instead of the World Title situation or anything important. The match was nothing special and was your usual calamity, which happens way too often in these matches.

Josh leaves for a phone call.

Andrew Everett thinks he’s earned a title shot but the Helms Dynasty comes in to say not so fast. Instead, tonight it’s a four way with Everett vs. Suicide, Marshe Rockett and someone else. Everett has an idea: Helms himself can fill out the match. Helms is eventually talked into it.

Here’s Bruce Prichard to announce the new #1 contender by way of a fan vote. The choices were James Storm and Ethan Carter III with the fans choosing…..Storm. This brings out a ticked off Carter to say Prichard needs to read it again. Bruce says it was Carter’s idea to put the choice in the hands of the people and that one loss to Alberto El Patron probably stuck in the fans’ heads. Bruce’s suggestion is to go find a mirror and see if Carter can find out what happened to the man that used to run Impact Wrestling. Maybe the fans gave up on him for tapping out to El Patron. Carter is off to ponder.

Good segment here as Carter is really starting to sink into his heel turn, which they’ve allowed to build over time. Bruce was solid here too, which isn’t something you normally get from him. I can get where both of them are coming from and that’s not something you see too often.

Karen Jarrett wants to make Impact great.

Allie/Braxton Sutter vs. KM/Sienna

The guys start things off and here’s Josh back from his long phone call. KM misses a charge in the corner and let’s look at the commentators for a bit. Allie drops to the floor so Sienna yells a lot, allowing KM to run Sutter over from behind. As usual, commentary continues to talk about the main event and ignores Sutter slipping out of a powerslam. A suplex sends KM into the corner and Sienna misses a charge into another corner. Allie tags herself in and hits a crossbody with Sienna tripping over KM for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D. Not much to see here again but thankfully Allie and Sutter finally won something. This story is starting to go long but at least they won a match here, which isn’t likely to be the blowoff. Allie pinning Sienna makes sense and hopefully they win a few more matches going forward.

Post match Kongo Kong (the Fury that was to be unleashed, complete with his rather large and saggy breasts) comes in and beats up Sutter. Laurel Van Ness comes out and helps beat Allie down.

Josh to JB on what happens after tonight’s main event: “I’m going to beat you and drag you out of here like United Airlines!”

Rosemary vs. Santana Garrett

Non-title and Santana used to wrestle here as Brittany. Rosemary chokes her over the ropes as Josh says he and his team are going to party in the hotel room and watch You’ve Got Mail on Pop TV. What hotel is he staying in that gets Pop TV? Back in and a clothesline in the corner sets up a t-bone suplex for no cover. A Last Chancery lets Santana do the long crawl to the ropes, followed by a handspring elbow in the corner. Josh: “Shades of Muta. Or Matthews!” Garrett misses a Lionsault though and the Red Wedding is good for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: C-. Slightly better match here and having Garrett back would be a good thing for the division. They’re really needing some fresh blood and having a familiar face (even one who wasn’t the biggest deal) back is a good thing. Rosemary doesn’t really have a top opponent to face at the moment, which isn’t good when she’s had the title for six months now.

Angelina Love stops kissing Davey Richards to say everyone deserves the suffering they’ll hand out.

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide vs. Shane Helms

Helms is in a jacket, Impact t-shirt and jeans with knee pads. Everett goes after him at the bell but Helms bails to the floor and trips Everett, only to run from Suicide. Not that it matters as everyone else hits a dropkick, leaving Rockett in control. Everett slips on a springboard spinwheel kick but takes Rockett down anyway. Helms makes a save and finally takes off his jacket. A Downward Spiral stuns Everett but he knocks Helms outside anyway. Rockett comes back with a gordbuster, only to miss a high crossbody. Everett kicks Suicide to the floor and hits Rockett with the shooting star for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: C. The match was watchable (Everett’s botch aside) and all my normal X-Division complaints stand. They’ve got something interesting here with the Everett feud but the rest of the division (if you can call it that) is just floating along in their multi-man matches because that’s the only thing this company knows how to do with them. At least there’s a feud, though it hasn’t been the best executed.

Trevor Lee goes after Everett and gets laid out.

Matt Morgan wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Davey Richards

Davey kicks him down in the corner to start but stops to kiss Angelina. That earns him a suicide dive but more kicks stagger DJZ. The top rope double stomp misses though and DJZ kicks away before grabbing a jawbreaker. Richards pulls him down with an ankle lock for the submission at 3:22.

Rating: C. Just a squash here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Richards is far more interesting as a singles heel than he ever was as a tag wrestler and I’ve dug his feud with Edwards. DJZ is a talented guy and he’s not going to lose anything from a loss to a bigger star like Richards.

Post match Eddie Edwards and Alisha come out for the brawl but security breaks it up.

The Veterans of War are coming.

The announcers bicker one last time.

Team Matthews vs. Team Borash

Matthews: Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake, Tyrus

Borash: Alberto El Patron, Chris Adonis, Matt Morgan, Magnus

Alberto runs Drake over to start as the announcers are already at it again, though this time it’s a bit more understandable. It’s quickly off to Lashley, who misses an elbow on Adonis as Josh yells about Lashley spearing Pope last year. Bram and Magnus come in and quickly head to the floor for a brawl with Bram getting the better of it.

Drake can’t keep control though and it’s off to Alberto for the house cleaning. Back from a break with Tyrus running Adonis (Josh: “If that’s your real name!”) over from behind. Josh’s team starts taking turns stomping away on Adonis with Drake getting in a good looking slam.

Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb though and there’s the hot tag off to Morgan. House is cleaned and we hit the parade of finishers with Bram breaking up Morgan’s chokeslam. Magnus tags himself in as Morgan adds a Carbon Footprint, setting up the top rope elbow for the pin on Bram at 18:53.

Rating: C+. Pretty good eight man tag and the ending was the right call, which is the whole point of the show. The thing is this match showed the problem with the whole evil announcer idea: it made sense for him to be running his mouth here but it doesn’t mean as much when he’s doing it for the other ninety minutes of the show.

The locker room empties out to bid Josh (who is speechless in a funny moment) goodbye.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more of a relief than anything else. Josh and JB’s feud has ruined a lot of shows in recent weeks but hopefully this wraps it up (assuming TNA doesn’t find a way around it) for good. The rest of the show was…..well it was certainly there. The Carter turn is going to be good but I’m not really sold on a lot of the other stuff. Maybe the new taping cycle will help but they really shouldn’t be running out of steam five weeks into a relaunch.

Results

Reno Scum b. Decay and Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Assisted double stomp to Steve

Allie/Braxton Sutter b. Sienna/KM – Crossbody to Sienna

Rosemary b. Santana Garrett – Red Wedding

Andrew Everett b. Shane Helms, Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. DJZ – Ankle lock

Team Borash b. Team Matthews – Top rope elbow to Bram

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

So we’re still in Orlando….with a regular episode of Impact. One might think they might try to do something special with the wrestling world’s eyes on their hometown but last week’s show ended with Karen Jarrett returning, seemingly to start a feud with heel commentator Josh Matthews. That’s special, right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a board meeting where Dutch Mantel is handing out ideas while Matthews wants to be in on everything. Karen comes in and says she needs one of the bosses to send Sienna to the ring. So wait: does Karen have authority or not? Dutch flat out said he’s not an authority figure yet he seems to be running things, so I guess Bruce Prichard is in charge? Can I get a flow chart? Anyway, Bruce and Dutch call the meeting because Josh and JB keep arguing.

The opening recap looks at the end of last week’s show with Matthews getting in Karen’s face and getting slapped down.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Karen to open things up as the announcers are already bickering. She’s here to talk about Maria Kanellis leaving, especially how Sienna has used the departure to become a huge bully. Cue Sienna (Why did Karen need Dutch/Bruce to get her to the ring if she can just call Sienna out?), who asks if there’s a problem.

Karen has been here a short amount of time and hasn’t heard one nice thing about Sienna. She’s not going to tolerate any bullying from anyone but Sienna wants to know where Karen heard this. Sienna thinks it was Allie and doesn’t think much of Karen because she didn’t marry her way into the show.

Cue a big man who Pope knows but the fans greet with a WHO ARE YOU chant. Karen looks terrified as the guy introduces himself as KM (Kevin Matthews, though not mentioned here) and says he’s Sienna’s cousin. KM shouts about demanding respect and tells Karen to shut up. Braxton Sutter and Allie come out for the save and now Karen has a backbone again. Sutter vs. KM is set for later. This was FAR longer than it needed to be, especially when most of it was just so Karen could do her best Stephanie McMahon impression.

The X-Division wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Andrew Everett

Everett kicks him to the floor to start but it’s time for a flip off, allowing the announcers to talk about AJ Styles. An armdrag sends Everett to the floor for a big flip dive, followed by some kicks in the corner. Speaking of AJ, Everett gets in a quick Pele but his moonsault hits raised feet. The ZDT is loaded up but Everett small packages him for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: C-. Impact Wrestling could go through a million bosses and regime changes and the X-Division would still get about five minutes in a meaningless match with the announcers talking about the good old days and how important it is while ignoring most of what happens in the ring. Such is life in the X-Division of course and I don’t see it ever changes. Either do something with it or scrap the thing already because this is just lip service at best.

Post match Gregory Shane Helms comes out to say that Everett has earned an opportunity of some sort for next week.

Fury will be unleashed on April 13.

We look back at the horrible Rebel vs. ODB match from last week with Earl Hebner kissing both of them for reasons of unfunny comedy. After a break, ODB and Hebner seemed to go on a date. There is no way this can possibly end well.

Here’s Rosemary, who has somehow been Knockouts Champion for five months, is here for the Burial of the Knockouts Celebration. She talks about all the women’s she’s destroyed but ODB comes out to interrupt. ODB calls herself a four time “Knocked Up Champion” and wants a shot at the title. Rosemary says the Hive disagrees and goes to leave but here are Brandi Rhodes and five other women to chase her back to the ring. A huge brawl breaks out and that’s enough to take us to a break.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great again.

Announcers, bickering, nothing of note.

Here’s Carter for a chat. He wants to apologize to Karen for what happened last week but he wasn’t happy with the man he was becoming. This place is changing and he needs to change with it. Carter was the man who beat everyone around here and it’s time for him to get back to that point. He needs to be the real EC3 and become an EC3 time World Champion.

Cue James Storm in regular clothes (and with no music for some reason). He didn’t hear his name mentioned in Carter’s list of former World Champions (maybe because he was listing multiple time World Champions). Storm wants to know where Carter was when Storm was on the first pay per view. Carter: “At my buddy’s house watching the pay per view.” We hear about AMW and Beer Money so Storm wants to know where Carter was back then. Carter: “I was probably drinking a lot of beer and making a lot of money.” Storm: “Ok that’s a really good answer!”

Both of them want to be the World Champion again and, since they’re allowed to do this, they decide that the fans will get to pick which of them will be the new #1 contender. I like the idea of these two wanting to be World Champion and I especially like the idea of Storm being out of the DCC even more. This sounds like a way to turn Carter heel again, which would probably be best all around.

Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid want to win the Tag Team Titles tonight.

Reno Scum want to show everyone that they’re the best.

We recap Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship. Cody wants the title but Moose was in Japan so tonight they can finally have the title match.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Cody

Moose is defending but Cody comes out with his Nex-Gen Title again. Cody gets shouldered into the corner to start but a quick DDT drops Moose. That just earns Cody a powerbomb and a middle rope moonsault for two. A big chop hits the post though and Cody superkicks one of the judges by mistake, because this match didn’t have enough rules already and needed an angle. Cody can’t quite get a cover as the first round ends. Bruce Prichard comes out to replace the injured judge and it’s Moose winning round one.

Round two starts with Cody kicking the knee but missing a big kick to the head. Moose apron bombs him and grabs a chair, only to have Brandi get in his way. The distraction lets another leg shot set up the Figure Four but Moose hangs on to end the round. Cody wins the round to tie it up and round three starts with Brandi yelling at her husband and walking out.

They slug it out with Cody getting the better of it and the announcers bickering over Josh’s wife being a fair judge. I mean, she’s not a judge but she would be a fair one if she was. Moose peppers him with left hands but eats the Disaster Kick for no cover. They slug it out again and the round ends at 9:00 with neither having an advantage. Moose wins via split decision and Josh loses it.

Rating: C. This match showed my major problem with the entire concept: they had a nine minute match with a commercial and another break between the second and third rounds, yet at eight minutes in neither can stand up? You would think they should have a deeper gas tank than that. Nine minutes is a rather odd time limit, but then again so is a round system in general. Also, what was the point in the judge going down? I’m assuming Cody will claim conspiracy, because that’s the kind of original thinking that’s going to get this company to the top.

Video on Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards. Next week it’s a last man standing match.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

We look at Moose vs. Cody again.

Karen brings JB a message about a Knockouts gauntlet battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. I see absolutely no reason for Karen to have been out here for this scene.

KM vs. Braxton Sutter

The much bigger KM (billed at 6’8) drives Braxton into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face. KM dropkicks him down and we’re off to a quickly broken chinlock. Instead it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down, leaving the women to get into a chase on the floor. Sienna grabs Allie though and the distraction lets KM grab a powerbomb into a Backstabber for the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. The time hurt this and I’m glad it wasn’t a clean pin. Sutter hasn’t won a big match in months and I don’t know how much longer the strength of the wedding angle and his relationship with Allie can carry him. Giving KM a victory is a good idea and there’s nothing wrong with establishing new talent, but it might help to further establish your older talent first.

Post match the four of them get in a fight with the forces of good clearing the ring. Laurel Van Ness stumbles out, somehow looking creepier every single week. Sutter and Allie look terrified.

We go to the LAX clubhouse where Konnan talks to the team before the Tag Team Title match. Has anyone brought up that Konnan has brought in a team to fight against the team that works for his own company? Like, wouldn’t it mean more money if Garza and Laredo won? I guess loyalty goes before money? It would be nice to have it brought up at least.

Davey Richards wants to make Impact Wrestling better.

Fury is still coming.

Tag Team Titles: Garza Jr./Laredo Kid vs. LAX vs. Decay vs. Reno Scum

The titles are vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Thornstone and Kid start things off with Scum taking over in a hurry. Ortiz tags himself in for some lucha, capped off with a backbreaker to drop the Kid. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kid dives onto a huge pile of people, followed by Garza doing the same as we take a break.

Back with Garza getting two off a Lionsault but LAX makes the save. Abyss comes in and clotheslines Kid against the ropes but Scum tags themselves in for some corner clotheslines. Kid scores with a DDT so both members of LAX come in to clean house, including a top rope double stomp onto a hanging cutter to Steve. It means posing instead of covering though, leaving Rosemary and Diamante to get into a catfight. Ortiz loads Laredo up for a powerbomb with Santana coming off the top with a Blockbuster for the pin and the titles at 12:13.

Rating: B. I had more fun with this than I was expecting and LAX wining is the right call. We’ve had Decay as champions, Scum really isn’t interesting and the Crash guys are fine but nothing all that memorable. LAX is over and arguably better than any other team here so making them the new champions makes the most sense. Good action here too with a bunch of chaos, which is the best option given how little we know about the teams. Keep things moving and let the action be the draw.

Overall Rating: C+. This show accomplished one major thing above all others: it helped bolster almost everything on the show. We have people fighting to be #1 contender for the World and Knockouts Titles, the X-Division Title got a mention, the Grand Championship was defended and we have new Tag Team Champions. That’s quite the usage of two hours and it’s very nice to see them actually doing something with a lot of the roster instead of just doing the same stuff over and over.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot of bad stuff here to go right along with it. I know I asked this earlier, but who in the world is running this show? I know there are multiple names but various people seem to have authority at some point or another. The worst part is the show doesn’t even need an authority figure (just say the Impact Wrestling bosses have made a decision) but with three being introduced, you’re going to wonder who is running things.

One of the names who might have authority is Karen Jarrett and we saw WAY too much of her tonight. The far too long opening segment really didn’t need Karen as Sienna could have called out Allie to the same result. It really does come off like a Stephanie impression and that’s not a good idea, especially when Karen is supposed to be a face yet she was ready to fight Sienna, who should be able to kill her. So I guess she’s a hybrid between Stephanie and Shane?

On top of that, a lot of the wrestling really wasn’t that great. It was completely watchable but that’s not quite enough. When everyone is putting their best effort out for the biggest weekend of the wrestling year, you need to do something a little better than just a somewhat above average show. The main event is definitely the best thing about the show and it helped things quite a bit.

Overall the show had more good than bad but it needs a lot of work. Getting rid of multiple authority figures (and probably a title or two) would do some good and dropping the MAKE IMPACT GREAT vignettes would give them some more time for the matches. This was a good step in the right direction but since it’s Impact, I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Andrew Everett b. DJZ – Small package

Moose b. Cody via split decision

KM b. Braxton Sutter – Powerbomb into a Backstabber

LAX b. Reno Scum, Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. and Decay – Sitout powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Kid

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 23, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re on to week three of the reboot and hopefully last week’s improvements continue here. Last week’s show was a slight upgrade from the borderline disaster of the first week but it’s not clear where things are going. The big story coming out of last week was the announcement of a Tag Team Title tournament which starts next week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a detailed recap of last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Davey Richards vs. Suicide

Davey, billed as the Lone Wolf, comes out with Angelina Love. Richards is quickly sent to the floor so Suicide can follow him out with a big dive. That’s about it for Suicide though as Davey knocks him around and hits a hard clothesline back inside. Some kicks to the ribs have Suicide in more trouble but Davey stops to kiss Angelina. A springboard missile dropkick sends Davey outside again and, naturally, a suicide dive follows. Back in again with Davey hitting a Saito suplex but missing the top rope stomp. Not that it matters as Creeping Death is good for the pin on Suicide at 6:00.

Rating: C-. Davey and Angelina are a good combination (most married couples are) and I’m digging Richards a bit better this time around. The heel character works better than his long running face character which just felt like a guy in tights who threw a lot of kicks. The next fight with Eddie Edwards should be fun.

Josh yells at JB for saying “she” is here over and over. Josh: “STOP USING PRONOUNS!”

We go to LAX’s headquarters where Konnan talks about bringing violence out of Tijuana.

Laurel Van Ness is still falling apart when Sienna comes in to try and calm them down. She has a surprise for Allie and Braxton Sutter. Sienna also advises a shower but Laurel sings the Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow instead.

Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Bahh and Bokara are the Monster Factory Tag Team Champions and from the Philippines/Croatia respectively. Idris and Garza start things off with Garza armdragging him to the mat and stopping to take off his (as in his own) pants. The 400lbs Baah (looks a bit like Yokozuna) comes in and shoves Laredo around before crushing him with a crossbody. It’s off to Mario to rip at the mask as Josh talks about where we can see Schitt’s Creek on demand. Laredo gets in a cutter on Abraham and the hot tag brings in Shera to clean house. A spinebuster plants Bahh and the Sky High ends Mario at 5:21.

Rating: D+. Uh, sure. I’m not entirely clear on why I should care about five people I don’t know and the worthless Shera but at least we don’t have to watch any of those expensive talents again. The match wasn’t even horrible but those might as well have been the Filler Titles instead of the Monster Factory belts.

A limo is here.

Decay vs. Reno Scum

Adam and Steve start things off with Thornstone hitting a standing moonsault, only to have Abyss come in for the staredown with Luster. That means shouting OY a lot and Abyss’ headbutt has no effect. Abyss gets headbutted into the corner and it’s back to Steve as JB says Reno Scum debuted last week (it was two weeks ago).

Thornstone is sent outside for some shots from Rosemary, followed by a lick from Steve. The beating continues with Abyss choking away and saying how good it feels. The hot tag brings in Luster for a fisherman’s buster as everything breaks down. Rosemary mists Steve by mistake and gets thrown onto Abyss. That leaves Luster to hold Steve up for a leapfrog into a double stomp from Adam for the pin at 6:56.

Rating: D. As I said before: I still have no idea why I’m supposed to be interested in Reno Scum because they don’t feel like anything special. Yeah they’re fine and all that jazz but it was basically “here’s a new team you might know from Future Stars of Wrestling”. What’s Future Stars of Wrestling? Eh, some company that we’re just assuming you know and that we’re not going to elaborate on further. Give us some promos or vignettes on these guys and let us know something about them other than their names and hometown.

Fury is unleashed on April 6.

Grand Championship: Eli Drake vs. Moose

Moose is defending Drake has Tyrus in his corner. And never mind as Cody, in a Bullet Club hoodie, has jumped Moose backstage. Cross Rhodes on the ramp leaves Moose laying and there’s no match.

Here’s LAX (with five members) to say they’re here for the Tag Team Titles. Konnan says they’re here to live and die in LAX and Homicide adds 5150.

LAX vs. DCC

It’s Santana/Ortiz for LAX vs. Storm/Bram. Storm gets double teamed to start and Santana drops an assisted moonsault. The comeback is cut off and we take an early break. Back with Storm getting in a Backstabber on Ortiz but Santana keeps him in the corner. Storm finally gets over for the hot tag to Bram so house can be cleaned. Not that it really matters though as it’s back to Storm just a few moments later. We get the stupid make one partner DDT another spot with Storm grabbing a neckrbeaker on Ortiz who DDT’s Santana. Kingston hits Storm by mistake though and a kind of double team belly to back flip suplex puts Storm away at 11:03.

Rating: C+. This is another case where the brand new team is thrown on TV but at least they have a name and gimmick we’re familiar with (assuming you were around years ago) and they were a bit better in the ring. Hopefully this leads to the end of the DCC as it’s been one of the biggest wastes of time in recent memory around here. Storm was wrestling like a face in the match anyway so you can tell they’re on borrowed time.

Post match Storm gets in an argument with Kingston which should signal the beginning of the end.

Earlier this week, Bruce Prichard sat down with Lashley to talk about his wrestling history. He’s wrestled everywhere and is really good. More on this later. Of all the people on the roster, the multiple time World Champion needs a get to know you interview? He was acting like a face here too so maybe he’s turning. Or they don’t know how to do an interview.

DJZ wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

Moose vs. Cody for the Grand Championship is set for next week.

Braxton Sutter and Allie aren’t worried about Sienna’s threats.

Rebel vs. ODB

Rebel knocks her to the floor to start but misses a top rope splash back inside. ODB takes a hit from the flask and there’s a Bronco Buster. ODB: “I’m a classy broad!” Rebel grabs her cowboy hat so Earl Hebner takes it away and kisses her because sexual assault is totally ok. Earl puts the hat on and takes a hit from the flask, earning himself a kiss from ODB. That means a Flair Flop from Earl and a TKO to Rebel for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: F. Oh just…..no. This is one of those matches where the company decides to beat you over the head with “comedy” and if you don’t like it, that’s just too bad. ODB has never done anything for me and that hasn’t changed here. Rebel looks great but, as usual, that’s not enough to warrant her being around.

More from the Lashley interview. He was about to go to the Olympics but was in a bank when a robbery broke out, which caused a knee injury. He’s here now and ready to work as hard as ever. You mean the World Champion is going to work hard?

Lashley vs. Jake Holmes

Non-title. Lashley stomps him down, stomps him down some more, hits a Dominator for two, delays a vertical suplex and hits the spear for the pin at 1:54.

JB is in the ring for the big return of……Karen Jarrett. Karen is full on face here, signing an autograph on the way to the ring. You know, because time can heal all wounds since she was the evil villain before. We get a bunch of pro-Karen chants as she’s overwhelmed by the reaction. Karen talks about all the positive energy around here but gets cut off by a FIRE JOSH chant. Karen keeps going about how special this is but Ethan Carter III cuts her off.

Ethan talks about how awesome the fans are and calls them all his friends. Everyone around here makes this place great but it’s all about the locker room. We all want to make Impact great and he’s done what he can do to so as the greatest original star this company has ever had. He’s going to do it for his own last name though….and here’s Josh to say stop all this.

Josh yells about being put at the table with the JV squad while Karen assembles this team of authority figures like Bruce Prichard and Dutch Mantel. These people are here because they couldn’t afford a ticket so they need to shut up (they edited out the part where he said “couldn’t afford a ticket to NXT”). Josh talks about his problem being with Karen and being married to Madison Rayne. It’s only a matter of time before the Jarrett Family is gone from Impact Wrestling forever. Karen slaps him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So much for progressing. This was a lot of really uninteresting stuff with most of these new acts being thrown out there with little to no build or set up. I still don’t know who most of them are, nor do I have any real reason to care. Other than that we got to know the four time World Champion a little bit better and then saw a former authority figure come back to yell at the heel announcer. What exactly was accomplished here? I know big stuff can’t happen every week but it’s the third show in a reboot of the company. If they’re already running out of ideas to fill in two hours, they’re in VERY big trouble.

Results

Davey Richards b. Suicide – Creeping Death

Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Sky High to Bokara

Reno Scum b. Decay – Double stomp to Steve

LAX b. DCC – Double team belly to back flip suplex to Storm

ODB b. Rebel – TKO

Lashley b. Jake Holmes – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Take two. Last week’s relaunch of Impact Wrestling didn’t get the best reception but it should be interesting to see where things go this week. The big story coming out of last week is Alberto El Patron winning the World Title, only to vacate it due to the controversial way in which he won the belt. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. I think it might have used to work with WWE and it remembers when things were great before the fans left. The World Title gets more focus than anything else with Josh talking over everything a close second.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alberto for a chat. He loves it here because he doesn’t need to pretend to be something he’s not. Here he can be El Patron and THIS IS HIS HOUSE (that’s one way to get Paige to break up with you). Last week he proved to everyone that he deserves to be the champion. He’s not here to be a talker though because he’d rather fight. That means a challenge to Lashley but it’s Ethan Carter III instead. Ethan knows how difficult it was to relinquish that title but if Alberto wants it back, he needs to earn it. Tonight, let’s make it Si vs. 3.

Alberto says no but Ethan calls him out for not wanting to fight. That’s still a no because El Patron is here to fight the big dog. Ethan shoves him down and a fight breaks out with security breaking it up. That’s FINALLY enough for the match to be accepted. Now why in the world did this not happen LAST WEEK? If El Patron can beat Carter, at least it sets him up as a title contender instead of just throwing in another WWE reject to the main event.

Eddie Edwards talks about how he wants to make Impact great.

We go to a meeting with Bruce Prichard, Dutch Mantel and two other people who seem to have authority. Ignore last week when Mantel flat out said he was NOT an authority figure. Basically they don’t know how Decay got the Tag Team Titles (they don’t know their own stories) but Prichard knows how to figure it out.

JB gets a phone call telling him that EC3 vs. El Patron is on tonight, much to Josh’s annoyance.

Video on the history of Tyrus and Eli Drake. There’s enough between them for a history package?

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Eli Drake/Tyrus

Kid and Garza are from the Crash promotion in Mexico and this is their debut. Drake and the Kid start things off with Laredo snapping off a headscissors. Josh mocks JB for wanting to talk about the international partnerships before it’s off to Garza. Eli misses a charge and falls out to the floor for a suicide dive. That’s followed by a moonsault to the floor from Laredo but Tyrus knocks the Kid out of the air.

Back from a break with Laredo getting thrown across the ring in a good looking Tyrus suplex. Drake drops a jumping elbow but takes too much time talking, allowing Garza to come in off the hot tag. Eli takes him down as well but accidentally hits Tyrus. That means there’s no one to tag, allowing Garza to grab a rollup on Drake for the pin at 11:03.

Rating: C-. Hey, did you know that Garza and Kid are from Crash? Ignore the fact that maybe fourteen people watching this show have heard of Crash outside of the Hardys going there a few weeks ago of course. Garza and Kid were fine but nothing that hasn’t been done several times before.

Josh says that was stupid.

Video on Eddie Edwards, Moose and James Storm appearing for Pro Wrestling Noah as part of the new talent exchange. To TNA’s credit, this is pretty impressive and WAY better than their agreement with Wrestle-1.

Kayci Quinn vs. Brandi Rhodes

Quinn is making her debut. We hear about Brandi’s education, which includes degrees from the University of Michigan and the University of Miami. Not bad. And never mind as Cody comes out to say this isn’t happening. Cody isn’t happy with Impact Wrestling pimping out the Rhodes name because he’s going to do it instead. He tries to give Quinn $45 (“It’s $20 more than they were going to pay you.”) before moving on to Moose. Cody: “Moose claims that he’s in Japan. I AM JAPAN!” Cody wants Moose back here for the Grand Championship. Brandi tries to apologize to Quinn as they leave.

Back from a break with Rosemary destroying Quinn. Thankfully this gives the announcers another chance to argue while Quinn is looked at. JB says law and order is coming soon.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great.

Ethan Carter III vs. Alberto El Patron

I’m surprised this isn’t the main event. Patron gets in a quick dropkick to the back for two and they’re already on the floor. We take a break a minute in and come back with Carter punching him out of the air and stomping away in the corner. Carter says this is HIS house and they head outside again with El Patron sending the arm into the post and steps. Back in and Patron cranks on the arm but has to shove away the 1%er. A backdrop sends Patron to the floor and Carter rams him into the announcers’ table for good measure. Back in and Patron enziguris him off the apron to send us to a second break.

We come back with Carter winning a slugout but getting caught in a Backstabber. Patron misses the top rope stomp though and the TK3 knocks him silly. There’s no cover though as Carter hits a second TK3 for no cover again. Instead he goes to grab a chair but changes his mind, allowing El Patron to grab the cross armbreaker for the tap at 21:50.

Rating: B-. NOW WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THIS LAST WEEK??? Patron wins a long match by beating someone who is still a big star which should put him into the title picture. Now it would feel right to have him face Lashley for the belt but as usual they did the whole thing backwards. Also it would have been nice to have a good match on the relaunch show instead of the messy Alberto vs. Lashley match but again, why go with what makes sense?

Alberto applauds Carter and says that was one of the best matches of his career. Carter takes a few seconds but shakes Alberto’s hand.

Reno Scum says they’re here for the titles and call themselves the perfect combination of athleticism and violence. That took twenty seconds and told me more than I learned about them all of last week.

Ethan is frustrated in the back but Bruce Prichard gets in his face and shouts a bunch of stuff we can’t hear.

Madison Rayne wants to make Impact great again.

JB says “she” is going to be here next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Suicide

Lee is defending and this is one fall to a finish. And yes, they brought back SUICIDE because that character was begging for a revival. Allie is here with Sutter but Shane Helms seems to have lost his Gregory in the relaunch. The champ gets triple teamed to start and we hit the heavily choreographed sequence where no one can make any contact because it’s well rehearsed.

Suicide dropkicks Everett and bulldogs Sutter for two. Pope goes on a rant against Suicide because they had a falls count anywhere match back in the day but the mask kept Pope from knowing when he was hurt. We get a nice fake out with Suicide teasing diving onto Everett but instead falling backwards onto the other two. Everett hits a big springboard shooting star onto all three as we take a break.

Back with Josh plugging Schitt’s Creek and Everett eating a Superman Punch. Lee gets powerslammed so Everett goes up top, only to have Lee get caught on Sutter’s shoulders for a Tower of Doom. Cue Laurel Van Ness (still in the wedding clothes) to distract Sutter though and a jumping knee to Braxton’s head retains Trevor’s title at 12:50.

Rating: C. I am so sick of the X-Division doing the same stuff over and over. How many times have you seen the exact same stuff over and over with the title having no real story to it? Oh and well done on capitalizing on Sutter and Allie being the hottest thing in the promotion by having Allie just be a valet and Sutter taking the fall here when you have freaking Suicide right there.

Post match Sienna comes out to warn Allie and Sutter of upcoming pain. Laurel is very pleased.

Moose wants to make Impact great again. I get what they’re going for here but maybe they should stop talking about how great it’s going to be and actually do something great.

Here’s Bruce Prichard to address the Tag Team Title situation. See, titles are won and lost in the ring, not in space and time (The Hardys won the matches in wrestling rings you nitwit. If you’re going to call a story stupid, at least get the details right.). Josh points out that Bruce too the title from Alberto in a board room on Monday but of course that’s not brought up elsewhere. Anyway the titles will be decided in two weeks but here’s Decay to interrupt. They rescued the titles from space and time so they should just be handed the belts now.

Prichard looks terrified of Rosemary but here’s Reno Scum to cut them off. Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid come out to say they want the belts too and a brawl breaks out. Decay stands tall but here’s LAX (Homicide and Konnan) for the big return, followed by three more members coming in from behind to help in the big beatdown. Konnan says they’re serious “like a late period” to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was better than last week but not by much. Let’s get the good things out of the way first: Josh was WAY less annoying this time around and that makes the biggest difference in the world. He was still doing the heel schtick here but it was far less annoying and felt more like a heel I can get annoyed by rather than one that’s ruining the show. Keep it around this level and he could be valuable down the road.

Second, they had a good match. Alberto vs. Ethan wasn’t anything great or a masterpiece of any sort but it got time, told a story and was entertaining. It gives El Patron some more credibility and should set him up for a rematch with Lashley, though I have a feeling they’ll wait until Slammiversary because a former WWE star (a company they barely mentioned this week for another positive) deserves that kind of a spot you see.

As for the negatives….there are still a lot of them. The X-Division is as worthless as it was before (though the match wasn’t bad) and Allie and Braxton went from the most popular people in the company to just more names on a list but one problem outshines them all: these new people aren’t interesting. Reno Scum are every “we’re violent and a bit crazy” team I can ever remember and the luchadors might as well have been named Uno and Dos. Maybe they’ll grow on me over time but I really see no reason to care about them.

That brings me to LAX, which was an interesting choice for a big surprise reveal. They got a nice reaction from the crowd but do you really want to bring in part of an act that was a big deal ten years ago? It could be interesting to see where they go but I’ve never been a big Homicide fan in the first place.

The show was far less bad but it’s still really not very interesting. Like I said, the company needs to stop talking about how great things used to be/how great they will be and start doing something great. There are interesting things going on but this weird mix of new people who aren’t interesting and the leftovers from the old era isn’t working yet, though it’s still early.

Results

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Eli Drake/Tyrus – Rollup to Drake

Alberto El Patron b. Ethan Carter III – Cross armbreaker

Trevor Lee b. Andrew Everett, Braxton Sutter and Suicide – Knee to Sutter’s head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s Open Fight Night and that means we get to find out who wants what match from their Race for the Case briefcases. Basically, in order of 1-4, everyone can pick a match and stipulation but nothing can be repeated, meaning there can’t be four cage matches or four World Title matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick explanation of Race for the Case.

Recap of the Iron Man match with Lashley regaining the World Title. I still don’t see what was so great about it.

Here are the Hardys to open things up with Jeff carrying the #1 briefcase. The Seven Deities have told Matt that the brothers must win as much tag team gold around the world as they can. Therefore, they have granted the Hardys, I kid you not, a teleportation device to send them on their International Expedition of Gold. Now they want the Bucks of Youth, the Day of New and the Family of Wyatts, all of whom must be deleted. Anyway, Jeff knows who he wants to fight.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley

Jeff is challenging of course and Josh actually does his job by pointing out that the Tag Team Titles can’t be defended or challenged for tonight because Jeff is already wrestling. Uh, what does this have to do with Schitt’s Creek? I was promised Schitt’s Creek updates. We start after a bell with Jeff punching his way out of the corner, only to get his head taken off with a clothesline. Jeff sends him over the ropes and then into the apron, followed by another ram into the barricade. A powerbomb plants Jeff on the steps and the champ chokes with a boot.

Back with Jeff making his comeback with the usual and getting two off the Twist of Fate and Swanton. Another Swanton gets the same with Lashley putting his foot on the ropes. With the wrestling not working, Jeff sends him into the steps but misses a slingshot Swanton to the floor for an even worse than usual crash. The spear retains the title at 14:03.

Rating: B-. This felt like a main event style match but as usual it’s the same problem Impact so often has: there’s no reason for these two to be fighting other than the challenger won a qualifying match. There’s no personal issue and it’s all about the title. It’s cool to have a feud about the title but it feels like that’s the vast majority of what TNA does. Have something personal for a change and it can do you a lot of good.

Post match, Josh says no one has been able to figure Lashley, the FOUR TIME World Champion, out. Before I can explain why that makes no sense, here’s Eddie Edwards because this feud isn’t quite done yet. Eddie wants his rematch and Lashley agrees, but this is Eddie’s last shot.

Tyrus and Eli Drake are ready to shock the world with their briefcase choice.

Earlier today, Rosemary tried to get Brandi to join Decay. Brandi declined so Rosemary licked her face.

In case that wasn’t clear enough, Rosemary invites Brandi to join Decay but gets turned down again.

And now, a day in the life of Aron Rex. This involves riding around in a golf cart and Spud putting down a mat in the back.

Sienna vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Brooke starts fast and gets two off a middle rope X-Factor. A chase goes badly though, allowing Sienna to get in a cheap shot to take. Maria adds a few kicks to the back and distracts the referee so Sienna can choke for a bit. Guest commentator Madison Rayne would rather talk about how great Brooke looks so soon after having a child, continuing the tradition of absolutely worthless TNA commentary. The AK-47 is broken up and Brooke gets a bad looking Muta Lock but Maria offers a distraction, allowing the Silencer to put Brooke away at 5:39.

Rating: D+. Annoying commentary aside, this was fine as a way to set Brooke up as a foil to the Lady Squad. Unfortunately Brooke feels like a relic of the past with the entire character being based on how she looks in trunks. That’s not interesting and doesn’t exactly come off as thrilling. At least it’s a character though, unlike Gail Kim: WRESTLER.

Back to Aron Rex, who is having makeup applied. Spud reads off his appointments on various networks like FOX News and CNN. Rex doesn’t care for being called “bloody good” because he doesn’t like violence. He prefers “rexcellent”.

The DCC wants Decay in a falls count anywhere match.

DCC vs. Decay

Falls count anywhere and I guess a handicap match as well, unless Rosemary is fighting with the guys. It’s a brawl on the floor to start and we’ve already got a table ready. Steve escapes a powerbomb through said table and Abyss takes Kingston into the crowd to expand the violence a bit wider.

Steve dives onto all three members of the DCC for two on Storm. It’s time for the barbed wire board and Abyss rips off Kingston’s shirt. That earns Abyss a low blow but Rosemary mists Kingston, setting up a chokeslam onto some tacks for two. Some beer bottles to Abyss’ head set up a Last Call to put him into the barbed wire. A spike piledriver puts Steve through the table for the pin at 6:34.

Rating: C+. I find this to be false advertising as this was another iteration of the Monster’s Ball instead of a falls count anywhere match. I’ve seen worse versions of this same match and they kept it short, which is a good idea when we’ve seen the same stuff over and over again, especially with Abyss in the matches every single time.

Maria and Mike Bennett come up to Braxton Sutter in the back to talk about the date with Laurel Van Ness. Braxton is glad it’s over but Maria hears wedding bells over the chance of what might happen to Allie if he doesn’t.

Here’s Drew Galloway to say he’s a fighting Grand Champion and will defend against anyone. Cue Moose to ask for a title shot but Galloway has something else in mind.

Grand Championship: Drew Galloway vs. Rob Ryzin

Galloway is defending and kicks Rob’s head off thirty seconds in. This turns into an ad for Rudy, which is airing after the show. An overhead belly to belly has Ryzin in even more trouble and his comeback is cut off by a piledriver. Futureshock retains the title at 2:14.

Trevor Lee wants the injured X-Division Champion DJZ in a ladder match.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

Ladder match with DJZ defending. Trevor gets backdropped to the floor to start and DJZ hits a dive but makes his leg even worse. It’s so banged up that he has to stop Lee from getting the title, earning himself a ladder shot to the leg. Lee crushes the leg in the ladder but gets caught in a ZDT off the ladder. Shane Helms throws in a chair and the leg gets crushed one more time but Lee is smart enough to keep it inside the chair and put the ladder on top, giving us a new champion at 7:30.

Rating: C. Now this one made sense and is a great example of how to use the case to your advantage. Also, it’s long past the point of getting the title off DJZ as the division has died all over again. This wasn’t a great ladder match (the time didn’t do it any favors) but it made sense and that means a lot.

Tyrus wants Drake to have some quiet time to prepare.

Robbie E. interrupts Rex and gets a match next week.

Drake wants Ethan Carter III with his extremely bruised hip/rib.

Eli Drake vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter gets taken down to start with Drake hammering in right hands as we take an early break. Back with Drake sending Carter face first into the apron but missing a baseball bat shot. Drake forearms him in the back/hip and says YEAH a lot. One heck of a clothesline puts Carter down but Drake takes a bit too long following up, allowing Carter to grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 10:47.

Rating: C-. Nothing special to see here but Carter and Drake have had a good enough feud. It’s one of the few that isn’t about a title and that makes things all the better. Unfortunately TNA didn’t do the best job of explaining how Carter got hurt but the match was fine and the talking has been better so I can’t complain too much.

Post match Drake unloads on Carter with the ball bat, only to have the DCC show up and stomp on Carter’s nearly unconscious body. Drake smiles but the DCC beats down he and Tyrus as well. Carter takes a spike piledriver on the chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the best here but I liked the concept a lot more than I was expecting to. They used a formula that made sense here and helped push some feuds here, which is a little better than doing the same thing over and over again. I was never big on Open Fight Night in the first place but that probably had something to do with holding it once a month. Or maybe Hogan. Yeah probably him. Anyway, not a bad show this week and that’s high praise around here.

Results

Lashley b. Jeff Hardy – Spear

Sienna b. Brooke Tessmacher – Silencer

Drew Galloway b. Rob Ryzin – Futureshock

Trevor Lee b. DJZ – Lee pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Jackknife rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second show of the Anthem Era and that means more talking about how Anthem is helping keep the show going. Eddie Edwards is still the World Champion after Davey Richards returned last week to help him retain the title in a triple threat match over Lashley and Ethan Carter III. Let’s get to it.

Josh and Pope welcome us to the show and run down tonight’s card.

The Hardys are ready for the Wolves tonight as the Tag Team Titles will be on the line. With less than one week’s build too.

Here’s Ethan Carter III to talk about Davey Richards costing him his World Title match at last week’s One Night Only Live pay per view. All he wanted was one clean title shot but Richards and a chair kept that from happening. Now he wants to invade Wolves Nation like Liam Neeson in the Gray.

Cue Lashley instead and he’s not pleased with Carter. If it were him last week, he would have caved in Eddie Edwards’ head with a chair and be out here with the title right now. Lashley suggests a last man standing match for the title tonight (assuming he means for the #1 contendership) so Carter asks the Anthem Owl on the turnbuckle. Carter wants the match right now and the fight is on in the aisle but it’s quickly broken up.

Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III

Last man standing with the winner getting the shot at Edwards at some point in the future. They brawl on the floor to start with Lashley hitting a powerslam on the concrete for seven, only to get slammed off the top, followed by a cutter. A suplex on the floor keeps Lashley down long enough for Ethan to set up two tables as we take a break.

Back with Lashley being sent into the corner and getting German suplexed out of it for four. A superplex doesn’t keep Lashley down either so he superplexes Carter for a long count. The spear gets seven on Carter so Lashley spears him again. The count last long enough that Lashley can set up a table in the corner.

Carter avoids a third spear and hits one of his own to put Lashley through the table but both are up at nine. Ethan just unloads on him with a chair but that’s still not enough. With nothing else working, Ethan grabs his rear naked choke but gets dropped off the apron through both tables. Both guys are down and only Lashley can beat the count for the win at 17:15.

Rating: B-. Good brawl but my goodness I’m bored seeing these two and Eddie fighting over the title. Lashley has been in the same spot for well over a year now and that’s not something I want to keep watching over and over again. It’s nice to have a good brawl like this instead of the same match but can we PLEASE get some fresh blood in the title picture?

Next week it’s Race for the Case (Feast or Fired) with the winners getting four matches the following week at Open Fight Night. So they’re having a gimmick match to set up a gimmick show in the span of two weeks.

Eli Drake has Tyrus grab a backstage worker and force him to read a prepared statement since the fans were glad that Eli wasn’t allowed to speak. Drake is going to get his revenge, starting by winning Race for the Case next week. He beats the guy up for not having enough emotion and Tyrus gets rid of the cameras.

Here’s Rockstar Spud in powder blue to introduce Aron Rex, who is now in a white fur coat in something like a Liberace gimmick (which Rex pitched to WWE for years but was never allowed to go through with it). Spud introduces him again once he’s in the ring so Rex can say everyone has paid to see him for years but they should never pay for him to do something as barbaric as fighting. The coat comes off and Rex now has flesh colored trunks so here’s Robbie E. to interrupt. The fight is quickly on and Rex uses the big rings to knock Robbie down. Rex puts the coat back on and says violence is never the answer.

The DCC is ready to take out Decay tonight. Kingston has fifteen years of memories of being told he’s too violent for this business but he knew his time had come when James Storm called him. Storm says DCC is for Death Crew Council.

Allie is in the back when Maria comes up to yell at her. Maria isn’t happy that Allie is still talking to Braxton Sutter but Allie says she’s done everything Maria has told her to do. Haven’t these two broken up like a million times now?

Decay vs. DCC

Storm is the odd man out here. It’s a big brawl to start (as it should be) with the DCC taking over off an Alabama Slam to Steve. Bram comes in for a clothesline as Josh runs through all the advertisements he can squeeze into a single match. The hot tag brings in Abyss and everything breaks down again with Steve diving onto Bram and Kingston. The match is thrown out for a double DQ at 5:11.

Rating: D+. That’s the right call as there’s only so much you can have these teams do before it gets out of hand. I’m glad the DCC didn’t lose here as they have potential, even though they’ve already lost a lot of their steam. But hey, at least they could be in Tag Team Apocalypto for a joke appearance, which is exactly the point of a team like them.

They keep brawling out of the arena.

The Wolves say tonight is special because they can get their titles back.

Brooke is back and thrilled to get back in the ring.

Mike Bennett vs. Braxton Sutter

Mike kicks him in the face to start and a Maria distraction keeps Bennett in control. Sutter makes an early comeback as we get a weak “we want Allie” chant. Maria grabs Sutter’s leg though and the Miracle in Progress connects. Before the cover though, Maria wants a kiss so here’s Allie to cut her off, allowing Sutter to grab a rollup for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D. This was all about the storyline and there’s nothing wrong with that, save for the fact that Maria vs. Allie should have ended a long time ago but it’s still going. Sutter could be something interesting but I’m not sure if this is going to mean anything going forward, which is one of TNA’s biggest issues.

Post break, Maria yells about Allie screwing things up. Mike says Allie works for Maria so Maria can destroy her.

Rosemary comes out and says the Knockouts will all become part of the darkness but here’s Jade, now with short hair, to say they’re just getting started. She wants her rematch and Rosemary is very pleased. The match is accepted, as long as it can be Monster’s Ball. Jade agrees and stops an attack from behind. I’ll take Jade as a challenger, but I don’t believe for a second that it’s not just filler until Gail Kim comes back for another title run.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Hardys

The Hardys are defending. Matt and Davey get things going before it’s quickly off to Jeff for a dropkick. That goes nowhere so the World Champ comes in and gets double teamed to the mat as we take an early break. Back with Eddie getting in a neckbreaker but not being able to make the hot tag.

Instead it’s back to Matt who gives up the hot tag and gets caught in a Richards Figure Four. Jeff’s save is countered into an ankle lock at the same time before Davey cranks on Matt’s knee even more. The Wolves take over on Matt for a bit with some alternating stomps, only to have Jeff come in for another reset (Josh’s words).

A double Whisper in the Wind puts the Wolves down but Jeff gets caught in Chasing the Dragon for two. Davey misses the top rope double stomp and it’s the Twist into the Swanton for two with Richards making a save. Eddie dives onto Matt so there’s no one for whatever Davey wanted to set up, allowing Jeff to roll Richards up for the pin at 16:33.

Rating: B-. The match was fine but it’s the same problem TNA has been having with its booking for so long now: there’s no reason for this match to be happening other than they’re both great teams. There’s no animosity, no major story and nothing more than the Hardys saying DELETE DELETE DELETE over and over again to set it up. I’m sure if you look back to when the Wolves were around full time there might be a story but that has nothing to do with whatever else you can watch on Pop TV so Josh isn’t going to tell us about it. I’ve never been a fan of this booking style and it’s one of TNA’s favorites.

The Wolves argue to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was all over the place and that’s not really a good thing. So many of these stories feel like they’ve been going on for months now (because they’ve been going on for months now) and that makes for some very tedious shows as the angles rarely advance. So now we’re getting Lashley vs. Edwards again because that’s something fresh and new. When you keep hyping up Anthem as the new owners and partners or whatever they’re billed as, it might be a nice idea to actually present something fresh instead of the Wolves reunion and Aron Rex as Liberace.

Results

Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Carter was driven through two tables

DCC vs. Decay went to a Double DQ when all four brawled on the floor

Braxton Sutter b. Mike Bennett – Rollup

Hardys b. Wolves – Rollup to Richards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

This might actually be an interesting show as TNA is under new ownership with Dixie Carter all but completely out of power. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had a full show of new content actually in the Impact Zone as we saw two weeks of Hardy related material plus a very rushed Best of 2016 show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title situation with Ethan Carter III and Eddie Edwards going to a double pin and Edwards vs. Lashley going into the North Carolina woods at Total Nonstop Deletion.

Here’s Eddie to wish us a happy new year and to say he’ll fight anyone anytime. This brings out Lashley to say he’ll be giving out beatings this year, starting with Eddie. Lashley wants a title shot tonight but here’s Ethan Carter III, who makes sure to point out the Anthem logo. Carter was watching these two fight in Matt Hardy’s backyard and thinking about getting his title back. Lashley calls them both cheerleaders and isn’t cool with Carter wanting a rematch tonight too. The champ suggests a triple threat match and promises a special surprise for later. As long as it’s not the Wolves reuniting, I’m good.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Mike Bennett

Moose is defending. The announcers try to act like this was a great friendship before just giving up on the idea. Bennett kicks him down and grabs a chinlock before hammering away to gain favor with the judges. That sounds like it belongs in some lame adventure game. Another hard chinlock ends the first round, which Bennett easily wins. Moose fights back to start the second round and hits a middle rope moonsault for an early two.

Back up and Moose dives into a cutter for two. We hit another chinlock until Moose takes his head off with the Game Changer as the round ends. After a break, Moose wins round two and grabs the chokebomb for two. He misses a top rope moonsault though and Bennett grabs a piledriver for two. They very slowly slug it out with Moose hitting him in the face but getting kicked in the chest. Another slugout is enough for them to take it to the bell at 16:49 (counting breaks). Moose wins via split decision.

Rating: C+. This was one of the best Grand Championship style matches I’ve seen so far but again, this could have been the exact same thing if they just had a regular time limit without the whole rounds system. It feels like an unnecessary detail and that’s not a good thing. At least the match was good and Mike and Maria seem to be around for now.

Swoggle is in the back when he runs into the Hardys. Matt asks if he was sent here by Mc-Mehon to infiltrate the event. Apparently he was and Matt laughs.

Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle

Spud wants to start this year with a win because the winning streak starts now. Swoggle starts fast with a spear, a German suplex and the Celtic Cross for a completely clean pin at 1:09.

Post match Spud quits.

Bennett goes up to Moose again and demands a rematch on the pay per view in a match where anything goes. Moose agrees.

Eli Drake holds up signs that say he gets to talk next.

It’s time for Fact of Life with the once again verbal Eli Drake. He’ll never be done with Ethan Carter III but tonight his guests are the Broken Hardys. Reby plays them to the ring on the piano and Eli says get the camera back on him. He wants to know where his invite was to Tag Team Apocalypto but Matt says maybe Eli was scared like the Day of New or the Bucks of Youth. Drake: “I don’t know what you just said.”

I think they start quoting song lyrics to each other until Eli hits the button over and over. Matt says something about magic and blasphemy so Eli throws out a challenge for tomorrow’s pay per view. We get the dueling DELETE/YEAH chants until Jeff calls it very confusing and hits Drake in the head.

Eddie is about to talk about his surprise when Lashley comes up with a threat.

Video on Total Nonstop Deletion.

Helms Dynasty vs. Decay

Gregory Shane Helms is no longer the Hurricane for no apparent reason. In a quick pre-match interview, Shane says he doesn’t remember being the Hurricane but he’s back now. Sure why not. Decay takes over to start but the Dynasty realizes they can have some more luck against Steve, who is beaten down in the corner. Lee cleans some house but a tag brings in Abyss to wreck the smaller guys. Helms tries to chokeslam Abyss and gets mist from Rosemary for his efforts. A chokeslam off the top ends Everett at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match because there’s no reason to think either of these teams can beat the Hardys. That’s what happens when you put everyone together in one match and have the Hardys go over. But then again I shouldn’t be complaining because we got that WICKED BURNING HHH JAB and that’s what matters.

Post match the DCC jumps Decay from behind.

Maria has something special planned for Allie.

Here are Maria, Sienna and Laurel Van Ness with something to say. Maria talks about being here a year ago and looking forward to another year. First things first though: Allie needs to get down here. Allie comes out and Maria screeches a lot, saying Allie’s plan has two problems. There’s going to be a match right now so Allie gets in her face and says bring it on.

Allie vs. Sienna

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Allie goes right after her but gets taken down by Sienna instead. A one foot cover gets two and a sideslam gives Sienna the same. Sienna keeps getting distracted by Braxton Sutter on the floor but is still able to spit at Allie. That fires Allie up even more and she slams Sienna, only to have Laurel hug Braxton for a distraction. Allie is upset and the Silencer puts her away at 5:05.

Rating: D. Aside from this story going and going, Madison is really getting on my nerves. She adds nothing, she isn’t interesting, she isn’t funny and she’s just there, talking about things that anyone could figure out by watching the match. I’m really not a fan of adding things in for the sake of adding things in and that’s what Madison is right now.

We hear about tomorrow’s pay per view. No I won’t be watching it.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is defending and helps Carter beat on Lashley, who suplexes both of them down without much effort. A trip to the floor doesn’t do much and it’s a double clothesline to put Lashley on the floor again as we take a break. Back with Lashley on the floor as the other two fight over a standing switch. Lashley comes back in and German suplexes both of them at the same time before exposing a turnbuckle.

That goes nowhere (yet) and it’s a double suplex to Lashley instead. Eddie takes over with chops all around and a Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Carter. Something like a Tower of Doom puts all three down and it’s Carter up first with a clothesline to Lashley. The TK3 gets two on Lashley but he throws Carter to the floor. It’s time to grab the title but here’s the returning Davey Richards to take it away. The Boston Knee Party retains Eddie’s title at 19:52.

Rating: B. Another year, another long TNA Title match that was only long for the sake of being long. I still have no reason to care about any of these people and it feels like almost nothing is going to change if any of them becomes champion. It also feels like these same three have been around the title FOREVER and I’m not sure if it would be worse to have Richards vs. Edwards or more of these three.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped this one but it’s still the exact same TNA that it’s been for a long time: too much filler (this show was an extra ten minutes long for the sole purpose of being an extra ten minutes long), not enough interesting wrestling, almost no interesting characters and more of the same stuff over and over again. I didn’t see anything that would make me think this is a fresh start other than ANTHEM being mentioned all the time. It’s not a horrible show but it’s really uninteresting, which isn’t a good sign after all the hype of the ownership issues.

Results

Moose b. Mike Bennett via split decision

Swoggle b. Rockstar Spud – Celtic Cross

Decay b. Helms Dynasty – Chokeslam to Everett

Sienna b. Allie – Silencer

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley and Ethan Carter III – Boston Knee Party to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6