Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2016
Location: Barclayard Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the final night of the UK tour and also the last night of Kurt Angle’s TNA run. Expect to see a lot about Angle tonight as we wrap up his nearly ten year run with the company with a match against Lashley. Other than that it’s hard to say what else we’ll see here but I have a feeling it’s going to include British wrestlers losing a lot because that’s how TNA keeps the fans excited. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick video on Angle’s final match.

Dixie Carter is in the ring to open things up with the roster and several backstage workers around the ring. She introduces Kurt for his big goodbye and gives him a nice speech without trying to cry. Drew Galloway says he came to TNA for several reasons, including to wrestle the best competition in the world.

Wrestling Kurt is a master class in wrestling and this is a roster that wanted to be professional wrestlers instead of football players or whatever (always get in those shots at WWE guys). Kurt says this retirement has made him better and he’s the luckiest man on this planet. This brings out Lashley to say that while he respects Kurt, it’s going to be a rough last night for him. Lashley thanks Angle for getting him into this business but realizes that Kurt just isn’t ready for tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. Bram vs. Big Damo vs. Will Ospreay vs. Jimmy Havoc

King of the Mountain match with Young defending. This is the reverse ladder match where you have to hang the title above the ring. In order to do that though, you have to become eligible by getting a fall on someone, which also sends that someone to a penalty box for one minute. Josh explains the WAY too complicated rules and finally gets around to actually listing off the challengers. Ospreay pins Havoc with a crucifix and goes up the ladder with Young making a save. Havoc gets out and goes on top of the box for a dive to take out Damo and Bram.

Eric piledrives Havoc onto the steps and gets the easy pin to become eligible as well, sending Havoc back to the box in the process. Bram gets a pin on Damo with the Brighter Side of Suffering a few seconds later, giving us a showdown between Young and Bram over who goes up the ladder. Both guys shove each other off the ladder (allowing Josh to get in even more “playing defense” lines) until Ospreay dropkicks Eric off the ladder as well. Young dives off the top with a neckbreaker to put Will down and hang the title to retain at 6:44.

Rating: D. I’m so glad we had this seven minute gimmick match with all the violence and carnage with Young holding on to the title because that’s what the midcard consists of these days. You kind of knew that they weren’t giving it to anyone new here as they’re likely done after this tour. Above that though, I continue to want to cry every time I see Young and Bram standing next to each other with Young getting the push.

Jeff Hardy will be back next week to deal with Young.

We look back at Angle’s debut at Genesis 2006.

Maria talks to Dixie Carter about Mike Bennett and Dixie agrees to give him a chance. Dixie isn’t as wild on Maria being an asset to the Knockouts without seeing some actions.

Decay video.

Back from a break with Maria and Bennett in the ring with Mike saying this company needs him now more than ever. Angle, who ducked him, is leaving so let’s just name him #1 contender already. Instead it’s Drew Galloway with the Feast or Fired case to say that Bennett needs to actually win something. Bennett is ready to fight and says get Dixie but Drew punches him in the face to start a brawl. Mike is chased off by the threat of a Claymore Kick.

Another Kurt moment saw him winning the World Title at Slammiversary 2007. If nothing else this gives us the sweet tones of Don West.

The Wolves and Angle suck up to each other. Kurt passes the ankle lock on to Richards.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Gail Kim

Kim is defending after Jade attacked her last week. Gail jumps her to start and fires off forearms in the corner but Jade grabs her with something like an AA. That’s it for her offense at the moment as Gail takes her down and puts on a Figure Four around the post. Back in and Jade grabs an Indian Deathlock with a chinlock, followed by a Fujiwara armbar. Gail avoids a missile dropkick and clotheslines her down for two (playing defense according to Josh). Eat Defeat is countered into a German suplex for another near fall. Jade tries a high cross body but Gail rolls through for the pin to retain (of course) at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Well of course Gail retained because if she didn’t, we might have someone other than Gail Kim as Knockouts Champion and that’s just not a world I want to live in. It seems that we’re leading towards Maria taking the title and possibly taking over the Dollhouse because that needs to be a thing for some reason. The match was fine, albeit identical to almost every Gail Kim match in recent weeks.

Video on Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud from last week. Carter gets a shot at Hardy next week on the live show.

Matt is livid about having to defend against Ethan again and claims a conspiracy. It doesn’t matter though as he knows he can beat Ethan again.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Beer Money

The Wolves are defending in this dream match which is so important that neither team gets an entrance. Eddie takes over on Bobby to start and it’s quickly off to Storm who gets taken down for some elbows to the back. Apparently there was no tag in there so Roode stays in, allowing the Wolves to kick both challengers to the floor for a double suicide dive.

Things settle down to Storm working on a waistlock on Eddie, followed by Roode slapping on a chinlock. Eddie can’t get over for a tag so he settles for two off a sunset flip instead. A double hurricanrana drops both challengers and the hot tag brings in Davey as we take a break. Back with Davey putting Eddie in a leg lock and taking Davey down into an ankle lock at the same time.

Beer Money gets to the ropes and everything breaks down, leaving Storm to enziguri Eddie on the top. A hurricanrana drops Eddie to set up a top rope splash from Roode for two with Davey making the save. There’s the double suplex to Eddie but he breaks up DWI. Davey goes up top but dives into Closing Time, only to land badly and tear his ACL, putting him on the shelf for six to nine months. Last Call into a spinebuster gets two on Eddie before DWI gives Beer Money the titles back at 16:14.

Rating: B. Not exactly a classic but it was a really good match that lived up to enough of the hype. It’s always a shame to see someone go down to an injury like that but I can’t imagine it changed much of the match. Beer Money getting the titles back is a good thing as the Wolves are kind of out of stuff to do with them. If nothing else this might let Eddie revitalize the X-Division for a bit.

We see Kurt’s Hall of Fame induction.

Lashley tells Drew that he’s winning tonight.

We also see Mike Bennett getting in Angle’s face and Kurt calling him a punk.

Here’s Grado who claims he has video proof that he was cheated out of his job. Cue Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz to interrupt before the video can be played. Drake talks about Grado getting fired in a fair match and promises to beat Grado with the briefcase until Grado has no idea where he is anymore. Grado gets beaten down until Mahabali Shera comes in for a slow motion save. The villains screw up with the briefcase going off Godderz’s head, allowing Grado to hit Drake with a cutter and steal the briefcase.

Kurt Angle tribute video with various people praising him.

Kurt Angle vs. Lashley

Lashley has that headband on and it’s already distracting. A headlock doesn’t last long so Angle throws him down with some German suplexes. There’s an overhead belly to belly to send Lashley flying again but he drops Angle face first onto the turnbuckle to take over. Lashley chokes away on the ropes but Kurt comes right back with right hands and rolling German suplexes. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Kurt around even more. A bad looking Angle Slam gets two for Kurt and he hits three more German suplexes to set up an ankle lock. They’re not even trying to do anything but the big spots here.

Lashley reverses into a cross armbreaker but Kurt reverses into an ankle lock. That’s reversed as well and Lashley gets two off a spinebuster and spear. Another spear gets another two but Kurt avoids a third and grabs the ankle lock with a grapevine. Lashley hangs on for a long time and escapes before sidestepping a charge, setting up the third spear for the pin at 10:58.

Rating: B-. After all that, it wasn’t even eleven minutes long? The match was fine enough but they weren’t even hiding the fact that this was just a tribute match instead of something really good. I’ve seen Kurt do those same signature spots over and over so many times now that it’s really hard to get excited above them all over again. The match was good and all but nothing special as far as quality goes.

Post match Lashley holds up Kurt’s arm before punching him in the face. Of course it’s a heel turn. It’s ALWAYS a heel turn. Drew Galloway and Eddie Edwards come out for saves but get speared down as well. Ethan Carter III comes out for the staredown but Lashley bails before anything happens to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely the best show they’ve done in a long time and most of that is due to them cutting out all of the nonsense and just having the wrestling carry things. Lashley turning heel is a good idea in theory but TNA currently has three top faces with Jeff Hardy, Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway. TNA relies on the big heel turn way too often as we just had Matt do one about two months ago and now it’s Lashley, who won’t even be the top heel in the company. It’s a good show though and that’s all you can ask for from TNA at this point.

Results

Eric Young b. Will Ospreay, Big Damo, Bram and Jimmy Havoc – Young hung the belt

Gail Kim b. Jade – Kim rolled through a high cross body

Beer Money b. Wolves – DWI to Edwards

Lashley b. Kurt Angle – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2016
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re getting close to the end of the UK tour and we have one more week before Kurt Angle’s farewell match. The big story here is Rockstar Spud turning on Ethan Carter III last week, costing Carter the TNA World Title against Matt Hardy. Tonight is going to be about Ethan’s revenge against Spud. Let’s get to it.

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

Angle starts in with armdrags and works on Roode’s wrist early on. Back up and a knee to the ribs drops Angle for a pair of two’s as they’re clearly going with a main event style formula here. Roode’s front suplex gets two more but Angle suplexes out of a chinlock. We hit the rolling Germans for a bit before the ankle lock goes on for the first time.

Roode kicks away because no one taps out to the first ankle lock and sends Angle into the post to set up the Crossface. Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which is countered into another Crossface, which is countered into the Angle Slam for two. The Roode Bomb gets the same but a second attempt is countered into the ankle lock to make Roode tap out at 8:38.

Rating: B-. Kurt’s Greatest Hits tour continues as he beats someone else who could mean something for TNA because Angle needs this extra dose of praise. That’s been the problem with this whole thing: it’s been about making sure Angle looks as amazing as he can, which is one of the worst things you can do when TNA is in the shape it’s in at the moment. But hey, it’s not like Angle has enough accolades already right? At least the match was good, albeit almost all finishing moves.

Post break, Roode praises Angle and James Storm comes out to do the same. Beer Money gets out the beer but give Angle (and his DUIs) a half gallon of milk instead. They had me worried there for a bit. Angle isn’t done yet either because he wants to see Beer Money vs. the Wolves. Cue the Wolves to praise Angle before accepting the match against Beer Money next week. Storm says polish those belts up.

Here are Matt Hardy and company because this show was actually entertaining for a little bit. Hardy brags about beating Ethan last week and promises that Ethan will never get another shot at the title. Tyrus is just laughably huge behind Matt here. Matt welcomes out Rockstar Spud, now in a leather jacket because he’s a villain and villains wear leather jackets.

Spud doesn’t like the idea of his English fans cheering for Carter and asks for a show of hands of the people there for him when he needed help. We get some praise for Matt, who is the champion this company needs and deserves. Spud says they’ve gotten rid of the cancer but here’s Carter to interrupt. House is quickly cleaned and Spud is left alone with Ethan. The villains runs off but Carter challenges Spud to a fight tonight.

Gail Kim is going to call out Maria.

Post break Dixie Carter yells at Matt and company (that needs a name and I’m sure TNA has 14 of them ready since they haven’t had a heel stable in long enough) and refuses to sanction Ethan vs. Spud for later. They’ll still have the match but it’s going to be unsanctioned. Oh dang they’re fighting without TNA approval. That’s like, scary.

Abyss vs. Jimmy Havoc

No DQ. Havoc goes right after Abyss to start and knocks him to the floor, only to have a trashcan pelted at his head. Abyss sends him into the apron and busts out the cheese grater but Havoc gets his hands up just in time. A table takes too long to set up though and Havoc gets in three trashcan shots to the head for a near fall.

Rosemary offers a distraction though and Abyss throws a chair at Havoc, knocking him off the top and through a table at ringside. The Janice shot misses and Havoc dropkicks Abyss through the table for two. Jimmy brings in the barbed wire board but charges into the Black Hole Slam onto it for the pin at 6:02.

Rating: C-. “Hey! We signed this awesome British wrestler for this tour and we’ve got him in Abyss’ signature match. Let’s put Abyss over!” Such is life in TNA where they manage to make all of the British wrestlers either a heel or a loser because they think people still want to see Abyss doing his hardcore stuff. I’m so sick of these hardcore matches and now they’re not even getting enough time to go anywhere. Bad match and annoying result.

Mike Bennett promises to take care of Drew Galloway tonight.

Carter is going to destroy Spud later.

Here’s Gail Kim to call out Maria. We get the exact same speech about THIS IS WRESTLING and WRESTLING IS SERIOUS that has bored fans every single time over the years but they keep having Gail say the same thing because Gail has no character and is one of the least interesting wrestlers of all time. Anyway she calls out Maria who won’t get in the ring because she has something to say.

Maria talks about Gail wanting to be famous because she married a celebrity chef and had the wedding televised. We hear about Maria being famous for being on Celebrity Apprentice, being in Playboy and working with Donald Trump. However she’s a lady so there won’t be a fight here tonight. Gail goes after her but gets jumped by Jade.

Bram and Eric Young are here for Young’s King of the Mountain Title defense but first of all they have to insult the British fans because none of them know how to fight. Young issues an open challenge.

King of the Mountain Title: Big Damo vs. Eric Young

Damo is a huge hairy man who looks like a cross between Rusev and a lumberjack while weighing well over 300lbs. A running dropkick puts Young on the floor (Josh: “People are already making memes about it!”) and Damo drops an elbow back inside. Back up and Young shrugs off some right hands, only to get slammed down for a backsplash. A powerbomb and another elbow get two on Young, followed by a cross body to crush him again. Damo tries another backsplash but hits knees, setting up the piledriver to retain the title at 3:40.

Rating: D+. Damo looked good but are you impressed with Young yet? I mean he’s crazy and he has a piledriver so that makes him an interesting wrestler and character for sure. As usual, let’s make sure the person who might be a future star for TNA gets beaten by the guy who has been around forever because that will keep the British crowds hot.

Drew promises to make Bennett tap tonight.

Drew Galloway vs. Mike Bennett

Galloway stomps him down in the corner to start but Maria offers a distraction. That goes nowhere though as Mike gets kicked in the face and sent outside for a throat first drop across the barricade. Bennett is sent into the post again but he gets in a shot to Drew’s taped up knee. The more wrestling I watch the more I agree with the “don’t tape it up” announcers because it really is too obvious.

Back in and Drew gets kicked in the face for two and we hit the cross arm choke. Even more kicks to the head have Drew in trouble but he Hulks Up and punches Bennett down. A middle rope clothesline looks to set up the Future Shock but Drew settles for a spinebuster instead. Mike gets in a cutter for two but the Miracle in Progress is countered into the Celtic Cross. There’s the Claymore followed by the Iron Maiden (Drew’s crossface) but Maria breaks it up. Mike grabs a rollup and a handful of trunks at 7:56.

Rating: C. Well at least the right guy won (I think). Bennett could be something interesting but I’m not sure if they should be getting there by having him beat Drew Galloway. Much like WWE, they can’t quite get this whole PUSH SOMEONE NEW right because they knock someone off to get someone else over. TNA is a bit easier to accept though as they barely have anyone left on their roster.

Matt gives Spud a pep talk.

Grado promises proof that he was screwed.

We look back at Angle vs. Lashley I.

Preview for next week’s show.

Rockstar Spud vs. Ethan Carter III

Street fight, meaning our second anything goes match of the night. We see Carter coming to the ring from the back when Tyrus jumps him. Carter beats him back down but Matt runs in as well, only to have Carter shove them into the back of a truck and lock the door. This is joined in progress after a break with Ethan knocking him down the aisle and throwing him into the barricade.

They get inside for the first time with Spud choking with his shirt but Carter kicks him in the shoulder for a comeback. Back to the floor now and Spud tries a running chair shot to the face but Carter stops him with a raised boot. Carter hits the TK3 and loads up a table. Spud can’t crawl away in time and has to settle for a low blow. Some left hands don’t do much for Spud as Carter grabs the hand and powerbombs him through the table. A cobra clutch with a bodyscissors has Spud tapping until he taps out. Referees come out to break it up to end the show as this is a no contest (remember not an actual match) at about 9:00.

Rating: D+. This was as entertaining as Carter squashing Spud for nine minutes was going to be. As usual, the problem here is TNA turning someone heel to advance a storyline and making them a lackey for whoever the big heel is at the moment. Yeah Spud is a heel now and he just got crushed but at least Matt is still World Champion, minus an opponent of course.

Overall Rating: C. Not their best effort tonight but at least it’s a big step up over the previous few weeks. The problem here is the same one they’ve had in a long time now: it seems to be more about setting up either a feud we’ve seen before or about praising the old guard who are either leaving or barely around anymore. Unfortunately, I have no real reason to believe TNA will keep things going as they have almost no ability to maintain momentum.

Results

Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode – Ankle lock

Abyss b. Jimmy Havoc – Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board

Eric Young b. Big Damo – Piledriver

Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2016
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s another special show tonight as we have Lockdown, meaning everything is inside a steel cage, even if the feud might not have warranted that yet. The main event is Matt Hardy defending the World Title against Ethan Carter III in Carter’s rematch after the title was stolen away from him a few weeks back. Let’s get to it.

The opening video explains Lockdown and the main event.

Beer Money vs. Eric Young/Bram

In a cage, like all other matches tonight. They start fighting in the aisle with Storm hitting Bram in the head with a beer. The fight goes inside quickly enough but first up Bram gives Storm the Brighter Side of Suffering on the floor. That leaves Roode inside in a glorified handicap match with Roode down two to one. Bram is quickly taken down though, allowing Roode to hit a Blockbuster on Young. Storm climbs in over the top and sends Bram into the cage ten straight times to drop him off the top.

Beer Money starts cleaning house but Bram breaks up a double suplex on Young. Roode is fast enough to catapult Young into Bram for a top rope crotching, setting up a hurricanrana and a top rope splash for two. DWI is broken up and Eric suplexes Roode down. Last Call hits Young but Bram spinwheel kicks Storm to put everyone on the mat. It’s Beer Money up first with the double suplex on Young, setting up DWI for the pin on Bram at 8:30.

Rating: C. Hopefully this makes Bram and Young shut up for a bit though there’s no reason to assume that’s going to happen. Beer Money continues to be their usual solid selves though they’re really not doing anything other than going on a nostalgia run. The match was fine but I still have no desire to see Young and Bram as a team again.

Madison Rayne has been attacked because this is TNA and they only know about three angles for their female wrestlers.

Here’s Ethan to sit on the steps for a promo. He can’t wait to fight here in foggy old London town because Matt Hardy has tried to do whatever he can to mess with Ethan. Whether it’s having Tyrus interfere or cave Ethan’s head in with a chair, it’s just delaying the reality that Matt can’t beat him. However, speaking of being alone, Ethan needs to talk about Rockstar Spud.

After the Rockstar comes to the ring, Ethan talks about their history and admits that he was wrong. They slowly shake hands and Spud says he’ll always do what’s right. Spud isn’t scared of Matt or Tyrus because he’s Rockstar Spud and no one tells him what to do. This brings out Matt and company to say that everything belongs to him. The Matt Hardy Brand has absorbed the Impact Wrestling Brand and if Spud comes anywhere near the cage tonight, his life will be destroyed. Carter says bring it.

A British man (the unnamed Jimmy Havoc) says Rosemary was his before she was Crazzy Steve’s. They’re good for each other and he’s getting her back.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Gregory Shane Helms in his corner. Tigre grabs a quick rollup to start before nailing Lee in the head to put him down. The champ comes right back with some choking on the bottom rope, followed by a release gutwrench suplex. A quick kick to the head staggers Lee and Tigre sends him into the cage a few times.

Uno gets two off a top rope legdrop between Lee’s legs before climbing up the cage. Lee’s save doesn’t work as Tigre kicks him down, only to dive down with a huge high cross body and an equally large crash. The delayed cover only gets two and Trevor gets up with a knee to the head. The fisherman’s buster retains Trevor’s title at 6:16. Josh: “Tigre just wanted to have that Lockdown moment.” Give me a break.

Rating: C-. You remember those first two times where Trevor beat Tigre with the fisherman’s buster? Well this one was inside a cage. Hopefully this lets us move on to something else as there’s really no point to this feud continuing. I’m assuming Helms either isn’t going to wrestle or will be facing Lee at some point in the future, either of which is only kind of interesting.

Maria runs into Gail Kim and talks about leading the Knockouts. Gail is REALLY QUITE SERIOUS and tells Maria to get in the ring if she wants to be a leader.

Havoc gives Rosemary something which he says will make her remember how they are together. Steve comes up and grabs it, resulting in them staring at each other.

Dollhouse vs. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky/???

Lethal Lockdown meaning WarGames with the fall not being allowed to take place until all six (in theory) are in. Gail and Jade start things off by trading hurricanranas and kicking each other off the cage walls. They collide in the middle and we take a break with no one new coming out yet. Back with Marti Bell joining after a “five minute” (read as over seven) period ends. Marti beats on Gail for a minute until Velvet Sky comes in to even things up. Velvet cleans house for another minute until Rebel completes the Dollhouse, meaning it’s time for weapons.

The Dollhouse starts beating up Velvet in the corner until the clock runs down again. Maria comes out to the apron but shakes her head and decides not to come in. Instead she locks the cage door, allowing Gail and Velvet to get beaten down. Velvet fights back by avoiding a charge in the corner and fighting back with a kendo stick. Gail gets a stick of her own and Rebel is pinballed between forearms and stick shots. Marti makes the save with a cookie sheet, only to have Gail hit Eat Defeat for two on Rebel. Jade’s package piledriver onto a chair puts Gail away at 14:50.

Rating: C. Well that happened. The Dollhouse and the Beautiful People will likely keep feuding because that’s how the Knockouts work. Gail will go on to be serious against anyone who comes into the division, even though nothing new ever comes from it. Maria could be interesting, but this was really just more long than good.

Kurt Angle gives Ethan a pep talk. It turns out that Ethan, who made Kurt’s life miserable, is a fan.

Decay video.

Here’s Kurt with something to say to the live crowd. He talks about having so many great matches in this country, including one last year where he won the TNA World Title. Lashley comes out to say the last year has been in his head, but he’s going to get revenge. He wants to have one more match with Kurt where they tear the roof off the house before he gets his revenge. The fans want Kurt to get the final win but Lashley knows he can win on Kurt’s best day. Kurt wants to go right now but Lashley walks away with a smile.

Eli Drake is in the ring and wants to talk about Odarg the Great. Grado was fired a few weeks back and now he’s running around with a mask and singlet on, trying to hide his identity. Cue Odarg, which Josh thinks is Grado spelled backwards and it’s time for a match.

Odarg the Great vs. Eli Drake

Josh complains about how everyone knows what’s going on and how they have to be stupid and sit through it. This coming from the man who called fans idiots for pointing out plot holes in TNA’s stories. Odarg can’t pull himself over the top so he pokes Eli in the face and goes for the door but Jesse Godderz holds it shut. The mask starts to come off so we pause a bit for Odarg to fix things. Drake slams him down and suplexes Odarg into the cage. It’s still too early to climb out though and Odarg brings him down with an electric chair.

Drake can’t crawl out so Jesse tries to help, only to have Mahabali Shera come out to take care of Jesse. The tug of war causes Drake’s trunks to come halfway down, meaning it’s time to censor stuff. Odarg hits a Cannonball in the corner and very slowly climbs over, allowing Drake to come up the cage. He grabs the mask but Odarg falls down and loses the mask for the win at 6:32.

Rating: D. I still like the story, though could they find a way to not have a guy with a Feast or Fired briefcase lose comedy matches? Grado continues to be one of the few really entertaining things around here right now, even though it might be due to how simple and stupid the story really is.

After his face appears on camera for at least fifteen seconds, Grado covers up and runs off, seemingly more worried about people seeing his bare chest.

Jimmy Havoc gets in Decay’s faces and calls himself hardcore. The beatdown ensues and Rosemary leaves his present (which looked like some kind of a mask) on top of him.

Eli Drake tells Billy Corrgan to have Grado (sans mask) thrown out and that’s exactly what the Harris Twins do.

Mike Bennett can’t believe that people think anything of Drew Galloway because he carries around a briefcase.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy is defending. Ethan draws a line on the mat and it’s time to slug it out. Matt’s chops don’t have much effect but Ethan’s splash hits the cage. It’s time for a chair with Matt getting in some good shots, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up as Matt is sent head first into the chair in the corner. Another Twist is broken up so Matt settles for the Side Effect and a two count.

The champ grabs a chain but walks into a TK3 (TKO) to give Ethan a chance. Tyrus blocks the way so Ethan flips him off, drawing the big man in. Ethan runs the ropes and has a free chance to get out but opts to clothesline Tyrus instead. A Big Ending drops Carter but he’s still able to reverse an attempt at being chained to the cage. Instead it’s Tyrus being chained up but Matt grabs a Twist of Fate for two.

Carter is back up in time to pull Matt off the cage to put both guys down. Matt is up first and hits a low blow, setting up a Twist of Fate with Ethan’s neck in a chair. Of course that’s not enough to finish it so Ethan kicks Matt low to even things up. A slow double crawl towards the door draws out Reby with a hammer but Spud comes out for the save. Then, in the swerve that isn’t a swerve, Spud slams the door on Carter’s head to turn heel and help Matt get out to retain at 11:39.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but it’s ANOTHER heel turn as Matt has to get another minion because he’s this iconic power or whatever line TNA is pushing this week. I do however like the fact that Spud didn’t just align with Carter again because Ethan turned. That’s some nice continuity, but sweet goodness I’m tired of these big heel turns when there are already about four faces on the roster as it is.

Post match Spud gives Carter a Conchairto on the chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t remember the last time I was this uninterested in TNA. I don’t know if it’s Josh being more annoying than Matt Striker could ever hope to be, the constant waiting on Kurt’s retirement match, everyone turning heel or the fact that Matt Hardy is on top, but this show is getting harder and harder to sit through. It’s not that the quality is horrible but I’m having a lot of trouble getting into any of the stories.

Overall this show just wasn’t very interesting. They’re trying really hard to turn Matt into this top level heel and for the life of me I don’t get the appeal. Like, are they really that obsessed with doing Matt vs. Jeff at Slammiversary and/or Bound For Glory? We really need to see that match again in 2016? Not a great show here, but that’s just what happens in TNA these days because they don’t have a roster deep enough to pull this off these days.

Results

Beer Money b. Eric Young/Bram – DWI to Bram

Trevor Lee b. Tigre Uno – Fisherman’s buster

Dollhouse b. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky – Package piledriver onto a chair to Kim

Odarg the Great b. Eli Drake – Odarg escaped the cage

Matt Hardy b. Ethan Carter III – Hardy escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2016
Location: MEN Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in England and Lockdown is in a week (not that TNA has bothered to tell us that just yet of course), likely with the returning Ethan Carter III challenging Matt Hardy in one of the new champ’s first title defenses. Other than that we may have more issues between Matt and Dixie Carter over Jeff Hardy’s future. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Tag Team Title situation with Decay stealing the Wolves’ belts and daring the champs to come get them in a Monster’s Ball this week.

Another recap shows us the ending of last week’s show with Ethan Carter III returning to chase off Matt Hardy.

Ethan comes up to Dixie in the back and says it’s now his mission to take the title back from Hardy. Dixie tells him that the rematch will be next week in Lockdown inside the steel cage. That’s fine with Ethan, but tonight he has something personal to take care of.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Ethan in the arena with something to say. He walked into this company two and a half years ago with a chip on his shoulder and he’s beaten everyone in front of him save for one name. That one man is all that matter to him right now and that is Matt Hardy. The one word that matters right now is rematch and Matt is going to be locked inside a cage with all of Ethan’s rage and vengeance.

Right now though, Ethan’s fists need to start punching someone and he can’t think of anyone better than Tyrus. Maybe Tyrus is breast feeding Maxel Hardy but get out here right now and fight. Tyrus comes out to say Ethan doesn’t want this. However, Tyrus thinks Ethan is afraid to be alone and he got to a new level with Tyrus. They were close enough for Tyrus to call him boss, but now Tyrus knows everything about him. Ethan asks if Tyrus is done and now the brawl is on.

Tyrus takes over and punches Carter up the aisle, only to be sent into the barricade a few times. This brings out Matt for the double beatdown and it’s time for a chair. Ethan fights both of them off though and cleans house with a chair. Matt issues the challenge for the tag match later tonight.

Here are Eric Young and Bram with something to say. Young asks if there’s anyone in the crowd tough enough to take his King of the Mountain Title from him. One person who certainly won’t be doing it is Jeff Hardy, but this brings out Beer Money. OF COURSE IT BRINGS OUT BEER MONEY because we haven’t had this story go on long enough yet. Storm accepts the challenge and we’re ready to go.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. James Storm

Young is defending and gets taken down in a hurry with Storm sending him into the corner. Storm gets sent to the floor though, allowing Eric to take over back inside. An elbow to the face gets two and a neckbreaker gets the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Storm fights up with some clotheslines. Roode intercepts Bram and all four guys brawl to the floor for the double countout at 4:07.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness I can’t stand Eric Young. I don’t remember being more miserable when someone comes on my TV. I get that he’s been around for a long time but this feud with Bobby Roode and now Beer Money I guess has been going on for years now. There’s no reason left for them to fight other than “well they’ve been fighting for a while now.” Find something else for them to do or stop putting them on TV because it’s been old for a long time.

All four fight into the crowd.

Drew Galloway offers to be Ethan’s partner. They have common goals but Ethan wants to stand alone tonight.

Back from a break and THEY’RE STILL FIGHTING. Just put them in the cage match like you know you’re going to next week so we can hopefully end this feud already. We cut away as the fighting continues.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria to discuss the people that have come across Mike so far. Kurt Angle hit him from behind and then ran away. Drew Galloway is stuck with a ticking time bomb called a briefcase. Tonight though, Mike wants to face one of the UK’s own.

Mike Bennett vs. Mandrews

Mandrews takes him down with an early armdrag and we’re already at the first shooting star, only to have Mike raise his knees. We hit the early chinlock for a few moments before Mike flapjacks him for two. Mandrews comes back with a spinning DDT and a standing corkscrew moonsault for two of his own. Bennett crotches him on top and hits a hanging Diamond Cutter, followed by the Miracle in Progress for the pin at 3:46.

Rating: D+. I’m not wild on the Miracle gimmick but at least he looked more dominant for a change. Bennett could go somewhere, assuming he can actually outlive Matt Hardy’s World Title reign. Not much to see here but it’s always fun to watch a pest like Mandrews get beaten down for a bit.

Post match Bennett keeps pounding on Mandrews until Drew Galloway makes the save.

Rosemary talks about leaving the Wolves lying in a pool of their own blood with nothing to wear. Abyss promises that she’ll be the most beautiful woman at the ball. The Decay is in a cage when someone comes up to say he remembers Rosemary. He blows a kiss and says he’ll see them soon. Apparently that would be British wrestler Jimmy Havoc.

Post break and Bennett beats down Galloway and Mandrews in the back.

Odarg the Great (notice the spelling) is coming.

Matt Hardy and Tyrus threaten Rockstar Spud to not be Ethan’s partner later.

We look back at Angle vs. Lashley from last year.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Decay

Monster’s Ball (street fight) with the Wolves defending. They brawl in the aisle to start and the weapons are quickly brought in as we take an early break. Such a stupid WWE move. Back with the Wolves in control and grabbing a ladder. Abyss’ ankle gets caught in the ladder but Rosemary mists Davey to break up the top rope double stomp, allowing Abyss to pelt a chair at Eddie, knocking him down through a table.

Abyss pulls out Janice and before I can type “and he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD”, he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD. That means more violence as Abyss piles up chairs until Eddie gets up for the save, setting up sunset bomb onto the chairs.

Steve and Davey get back in and the champs hit the clown in the back with a chair, setting up a top rope double stomp. Abyss starts cleaning house and brings out the bag of tacks. Pope: “We always think it’s the tacks but you never know!” Yeah Pope we do know, because it’s always the tacks. Eddie kicks Abyss out to the floor, allowing Davey to suicide dive the monster into the barbed wire board. Steve blasts Eddie with a chair off camera and puts his head inside a chair.

Rosemary gets in the ring to break up something like a Conchairto though as she pours the tacks (yeah they were tacks, because they’re always tacks) onto Eddie’s head first. The Conchairto misses though because of course it does, allowing Eddie to use Janice to knock a chair into Steve’s face. Richards kisses Rosemary (there’s some sexual assault for you) but it’s a trick to suck the mist out of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s brilliant or ridiculous. Whatever they call Chasing the Dragon onto the chairs puts Steve away at 14:33.

Rating: C+. Much like almost everything else on this show, I’ve seen this so many times before. Like I said a few times here, you knew it was going to be tacks because it’s always tacks. You knew Abyss was going into the barbed wire board because he always goes into the barbed wire board. Finally you knew Janice wasn’t hitting anyone because it never does. The match is still entertaining, but they haven’t changed the formula in so long that it’s beyond stale. Oh and thanks for coming Decay. Can we just release Steve now?

Spud offers to be Ethan’s partner but Ethan still wants to do it alone.

Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs. Jade/Marti Bell

Speaking of things we’ve seen time after time. It’s a brawl to start with Marti scoring off a Samoan Drop to Kim, followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two. Gail gets beaten down a little more until Jade runs into a boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Madison as everything breaks down. Jade’s dive is broken up by Gail’s forearm, allowing Madison to roll Marti up for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. So? The feud is just going to continue because the Dollhouse has the numbers advantage and for some reason they’ll beat everyone down and re-establish dominance that they lose again the next week because they almost never win anything. I’m sure a former Beautiful People member will make the save and set up a six Knockout cage match that only TNA’s hardest of hardcore fans will find interesting because that’s how the Knockouts work.

Post match, the Dollhouse beats down Gail and Madison until Velvet Sky makes the save. Velvet wants Lethal Lockdown next week.

Mahabali Shera is back and has a new friend in Odarg the Great, who says he’s a good guy. It’s clearly Grado as the mask is similar to Vader’s old style.

Eric Young/Bram and Beer Money are still fighting in the back. Pope: “They’ll get tired in a while.” The villains finally start walking away but Beer Money tells the cameraman that they want a cage match next week. So I’m supposed to care about a ten minute match after they just fought for over an hour?

Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake vs. Mahabali Shera/Odarg the Great

Well he was coming an hour ago, then he appeared and now he’s having a match. He even comes out to Grado’s music and doing Grado’s strut, though he’s billed from Parts Unknown. Pope even gets in a Midnight Rider reference as the match begins without a bell that I could hear. Shera drop toeholds Drake down and ties Eli’s arms up to make him do the dance.

Jesse has some better luck by taking Shera to the mat and setting up something like a Demolition Decapitator. Back up and the hot tag brings in Odarg to clean house as everything breaks down. A Sky High gets two on Jesse as Drake goes after the mask. Odarg pulls it off instead and rolls Drake up (looking him right in the face) for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. Maybe it’s how much I’ve disliked this show but I had a good time with this. I can go with comedy much easier when everyone is in on the joke and they’re just having fun with it. I mean, it’s not like the Feast or Fired briefcase has had strict rules before so this is hardly a stretch. If nothing else it’s the most I’ve ever been entertained by Grado and it gives the talented Drake something to do.

Drake’s shocked look post match is great.

Post break Eli wants Grado at Lockdown but Odarg comes up to say he’ll be Drake’s opponent.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus vs. Ethan Carter III

Handicap to start. The fans are doing this awkward wave to Carter’s music and it’s really not working. Tyrus starts for the team but gets knocked back into the corner for an early beating. A t-bone suplex sends Carter flying though and we take a break. Back with Matt dropping a middle rope elbow to Ethan but Rockstar Spud comes out to be Carter’s partner. Ethan scores with a clothesline but stays in to fight Matt as the fans want Spud. A dropkick puts Matt down and the hot tag brings in Spud who actually doesn’t turn on Carter.

There goes the bowtie but Spud beats on Tyrus instead, allowing Matt to take him down with something like Big Show’s Final Cut. The Heart Punch puts Spud down but Tyrus misses a charge in the corner, allowing Spud to grab an Underdog. The real hot tag brings in Carter to face Hardy as everything breaks down. Ethan dives at both guys but they fail to catch him, leaving Carter to crash in an ugly looking landing. Back in and the Side Effect gets two on Ethan, followed by a Twist of Fate to Spud. The 1%er puts Matt away at 12:54.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but I don’t buy the idea of Spud being fine with Carter less than a year after everything that happened. If there’s one thing TNA does well, it’s remember continuity like that so, as predictable as it might be, I’m kind of hoping Spud turns on Carter next week.

Overall Rating: D. This show got better in the second hour but the first hour was one of the least interesting (which is far different than worst) offerings from TNA that I’ve seen in a long time. It showcased so many of their problems: acting like WWE, setting up someone like Decay and then having them lose in their first big match and above all else, a bunch of stuff that we’ve seen before. That’s where TNA loses me: I really have no interest in seeing the same tropes that they’ve covered just a year or so ago. This got better later on, but it really had nowhere to go but up.

Results

James Storm vs. Eric Young went to a double countout

Mike Bennett b. Mandrews – Miracle in Progress

Wolves b. Decay – Brainbuster onto a chair to Steve

Odarg the Great/Mahabali Shera b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – Rollup to Drake

Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Matt Hardy – 1%er to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2016
Location: MEN Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re out of Pennsylvania for a change as the annual Maximum Impact tour begins. That means the return of Ethan Carter III as he goes after Matt Hardy and the World Title, along with the continuation of the Kurt Angle farewell tour. The UK shows are always energetic so let’s get to it.

We open with a quick video on the UK tour.

Here are Matt Hardy and company with the champ saying the Matt Hardy brand is far more valuable than the TNA brand. He’s the one who the people should be cheering because he’s taken this company to new heights. Tyrus goes on a rant about how Carter reached the title because of his bodyguard’s efforts. Reby talks about how awesome her husband is because he’s talented, sexy and rich.

That brings us back to Matt who talks about his greatness due to beating Carter, his brother Jeff and Kurt Angle. In that whole time though, there hasn’t been a word from Dixie Carter. Therefore, Matt isn’t leaving this ring until Dixie comes out here to face him. That’s not it though as he wants the cancer known as Ethan Carter fired and that’s what Dixie will do if she wants to keep her mega star happy.

The lighting is rather dim again even though the crowd doesn’t seem that bad.

Lashley vs. Bram

We miss the opening bell because we needed to hear Eric Young bragging about ending Jeff Hardy’s career. They slug it out to start and quickly go outside with Bram getting the better of it, only to have Pope talk about Dumb and Dumber. Back in and Lashley’s leapfrog is telegraphed, allowing Bram to kick him in the ribs for two.

We hit a quick chinlock before Lashley fights up and catches him in a running powerslam (nice touch in England). The spear misses though and Lashley goes into the buckle, setting up the Brighter Side of Suffering. That’s not enough for Young though as he gets inside with the King of the Mountain Title, only to hit Bram by mistake. The spear gives Lashley the pin at 5:52.

Rating: C. I liked this better than I was expecting to but as usual the big story here continues to be how horribly Bram is used. The guy has a good look, can go in the ring and has a solid character. The solution: pair him with Eric Young, who gets all of the focus for whatever reason.

Tyrus gives Matt Hardy security to deal with Carter tonight.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say. He talks about being in TNA for ten years (and still being remembered as that guy who used to be awesome in WWE) and is going to be facing Lashley in his final match but here’s Maria to cut him off. After her usual speech, here’s Mike Bennett with something to say.

Bennett grew up watching Angle and beat up his brother with Kurt’s offense. Kurt wants Bennett out of his ring so Bennett says he wants to fight, which earns him a quick dispatch. Angle talks about not wanting to fight anyone that he doesn’t respect, which is why he’s fighting Drew Galloway. This brings out Galloway to point at Angle.

Bobby Roode gives James Storm the Boozer Cruiser back. They might be cashing in the Tag Team Title briefcase tonight.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Tigre Uno

Lee is defending and has Gregory Shane Helms in his corner. Tigre sends him outside really quickly for a big flip dive, followed by a tornado DDT back inside. The champ takes over for the first time and stomps on Tigre’s bad shoulder. Some knees to the back keep Tigre in trouble but he pulls Lee to the floor and snaps off a hurricanrana off the apron. Back in and Helms trips Tigre, allowing Lee to knee him in the face and grab the fisherman’s buster to retain at 5:17.

Rating: C. See, I can live with Tigre losing here after Trevor already showed that he can beat Uno clean last week. It isn’t damaging Uno as he’s just not good enough to beat Lee no matter what, which is likely why we’ll see these guys fight two or three more times. Helms as a mentor is interesting but he needs to get in the ring at some point.

Beer Money comes out and says they want to cash in their briefcase but they get the Decay instead of the Wolves. Rosemary talks about her toys (the titles) and speaks in her rhyming style. Roode wants to fight instead of talk so let’s get a referee out here.

Decay vs. Beer Money

It’s a brawl in the aisle to start until Roode drops a knee on Steve’s ribs. Abyss breaks up a Sharpshooter and slowly pounds on Roode, only to have the chokeslam countered into a spinebuster. A double tag brings in Storm to beat on Steve and Roode throws in a Blockbuster. There’s the double suplex for both Decay villains and it’s time to SHOUT THEIR NAMES. DWI plants Steve but Abyss pulls the referee out for the DQ at 5:25.

Rating: D+. I’m really not feeling Decay as they’re really just a team that goes out there and plays the standard “we’re freaky” team role. It doesn’t help that Steve was a comedy guy who hasn’t change enough to make up for his worthless performances and Abyss is the same guy he’s been forever. Nothing to see here and Decay continues to look worthless.

Post match Decay beats on Beer Money until the Wolves come out to save Roode from Janice. The Wolves say they want their belts back so Abyss challenges them to a Monster’s Ball match next week. The champs agree of course.

Reby and Dixie Carter talk about how proud Matt is.

We’re ready for a Knockouts match but here’s Grado, recently fired, to interrupt. He has proof that he was screwed in Feast or Fired but here’s Eli Drake, flanked by security, to interrupt. Security is an inept as ever and Grado gets away while holding an envelope.

Drew Galloway says tonight is about making himself the present by beating Kurt Angle.

Jade vs. Madison Rayne

Time for more faction wars despite the factions barely being a thing at this point. Rayne spears her to the floor to start and dives onto the Dollhouse. Back in and Madison gets a quick rollup for two but Jade kicks her in the face for the same. The heel choking begins but an enziguri breaks up Jade’s double underhook. Madison scores with a running clothesline but Jade knees her in the head. The Package Piledriver puts Madison away at 4:24.

Rating: D. Is there a point coming to these matches ANYTIME soon? These teams have been feuding for weeks and now that Kong is gone, I’m not sure what else these women are supposed to do? They have no real story until Angelina Love likely returns for one more reunion of a team that was a big deal eight years ago.

Gail Kim runs in to save Madison from an attack with a chair.

Grado rants to Billy Corgan about how he was screwed. Corgan says he can’t understand a word Grado says and here’s security to drag Grado off.

Kurt Angle vs. Drew Galloway

Rematch from a few weeks back where Kurt won. Drew cranks on an armbar to start but Angle suplexes him down with ease. Off to a chinlock from Kurt as Pope thinks Angle could have been Knockouts Champion if he wanted to. Back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down and we take a break.

We come back with Drew getting out of the ankle lock and getting two off a Future Shock. They head outside with Drew walking into an Angle Slam onto the steps for two, only to have Galloway grab a reverse Alabama Slam (not Jam Pope) for the same. Drew takes him up for a super Celtic Cross for two more but he has to escape the Angle Slam. A pair of Claymores drop Kurt but he avoids a middle rope Claymore, setting up the rolling Germans.

The top rope splash gets two on Galloway, who comes right back with the third Claymore for two (so much for that move). There’s a Crossface (with Drew wrapping Kurt’s arm around his neck instead of between his legs) but as you would expect, Kurt reverses into an ankle lock, only to have Drew kick him in the knee. The crossface goes on again and Kurt taps at 15:16.

Rating: B. This is what they needed to do as Galloway can use this win a lot more than Angle. They were totally into the trading finishers style here and it worked well, mainly due to the time they were given. Angle tapping is the right ending and Galloway looks awesome (unlike the Claymore at this point), which is exactly what it needed to be.

Post match Drew bows to Kurt.

Here are Matt and company to demand Ethan’s firing. Dixie comes out but Matt cuts her off and says they’re having this discussion here. If anyone knows how to make this a success, it’s Matt Hardy, because he’s the superstar and the World Champion. The one thing he wants is Ethan Carter III gone because Ethan is the source of every problem around here. Then Matt won the title at Bound For Glory and caused the World Title Series to start up.

This brings out Rockstar Spud who is immediately the victim of short jokes. Matt still wants someone fired but Spud cuts him off to demand that Matt not disrespect Dixie like that. Hardy just wants Ethan fired but Spud won’t insult Ethan to Dixie. As bad as Ethan is, he backs up what he says. Spud thinks Matt is scared so Tyrus lays him out as Matt looks on. Matt screams at Dixie to fire Ethan but here he is for his big return. House is quickly cleaned and we’re really supposed to care about Carter vs. Tyrus.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a good show, but the last ten minutes are built around Matt Hardy vs. Dixie Carter with Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus as the bonus. I know Matt is doing a lot better than people were expecting him to, but it’s Matt Hardy. I really can’t get around that no matter how much I try. At the end of the day, it’s Matt Hardy getting this push that so many others could do just as well. We’ve seen the matches (they’re ok) and we’ve heard the promos (they’re not that ok) and I have no desire to see Matt Hardy in this spot. The rest of the show was good, but Matt Hardy as the centerpiece needs to wrap up soon.

Results

Lashley b. Bram – Spear

Trevor Lee b. Tigre Uno – Fisherman’s Buster

Beer Money b. Decay via DQ when Abyss pulled the referee to the floor

Jade b. Madison Rayne – Package Piledriver

Drew Galloway b. Kurt Angle – Crossface

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s another big night as we have the final showdown between Ethan Carter III and Matt Hardy for the TNA World Title. This time it’s a last man standing match with Carter defending his title and Hardy putting his TNA career on the line. Other than that we might find out the latest name on Kurt Angle’s farewell tour as he approaches his final match at the end of the month. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Matt Hardy’s rise through the World Title Series, only to slip up in the finals against Carter. This set up their latest match for the title with Hardy offering to put his career on the line.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Jeff Hardy (of course) to call out his brother (of course) for a chat. Jeff talks about how they became famous by being risk takers and diving off ladders. He may be the artist in the family but he would never be where he was without Matt. Tonight feels off though and Matt thinks it’s because his career is on the line. Matt talks about how he’s let everyone down but tonight is the night to gamble. Wrestling is like a game of chess and tonight Matt knows he can checkmate Carter.

Tonight the dream comes true but here’s Tyrus to interrupt. A dream can turn into a nightmare with a single change. Matt will be taken out by Carter tonight but no one has dealt with Jeff yet. Tyrus has done everything in this company for business, but tonight he wants to settle a personal issue with Jeff. Let’s do it right now.

Jeff Hardy vs. Tyrus

Tyrus throws him into the corner to start but Jeff botches something off the top, sending him down and tweaking his knee. The big guy slowly starts working on the knee by wrapping it around the ropes and post. The referee tries to make the save but gets shoved down to DQ Tyrus at 2:58.

Jeff gives Tyrus a Twisting Stunner post match.

Feast or Fired video as this year’s edition is next week. This year the X-Division Title seems to have been replaced by the King of the Mountain Title.

The Wolves have beaten everyone but now they want Beer Money. Crazzy Steve comes in and grabs Davey’s belt but Abyss jumps the Wolves from behind. So now it’s Steve/Abyss as a team? Uh, sure why not.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Kim is defending as we’re flashing back to Bound For Glory. Oh wait it’s ok because Kong has backup now. Kong runs her over to start and grabs a sleeper for a spinning throw. That’s a new one. We hit the neck crank (that’s not a new one) for a bit before Kong headbutts her into the corner. A running splash misses though and Kim puts on something like a Black Widow on the mat, followed by a rollup for two.

Kim drops the giant with a tornado DDT but Jade pulls her out to the floor. Gail gets back in but dives onto the Dollhouse instead of going after Kong but a neckbreaker gets two. Jade breaks it up with a distraction though, which draws out the Beautiful People to go after the Dollhouse. Kong almost hits Jade by mistake and it’s Eat Defeat, followed by launching Jade onto Kong, to retain Gail’s title at 5:45.

Rating: D. So we have Gail Kim, the Wolves, Carter and the Hardys on top. As usual, it feels like these people have been the champions or near the top of the card for the better part of ever. Kim is still entertaining in the ring and as polished as any performer in the history of the division but there’s nothing left for her to do. Nothing. We’ve covered all of this and I really have no interest in seeing Kim vs. Kong all over again, no matter how awesome it was eight and half years ago.

We look back at Jeff getting injured earlier in case you have a really short attention span.

Here’s Beer Money to call out Bram/Eric Young for a fight. Instead they get Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz who say it’s not 2006 and Beer Money’s time is done. Storm semi-quotes Roddy Piper (“I’m all out of beer.”) and the brawl is on.

Beer Money vs. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz

They slug it out on the floor to start until it’s Drake beating on James in the ring. That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Roode to clean house, including a Hart Attack on Drake and a catapult into a DDT on Godderz. The double suplex on Drake sets up the name shouting, followed by DWI to put Godderz away at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Yeah fine. This whole thing is about setting up Beer Money vs. the Wolves and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s going to be a big match and probably really good once it happens but the winners (likely the Wolves) are going to need a fresh set of challengers. If the best they’ve got is Abyss/Crazzy Steve, they’re in big trouble.

We look at Jeff injuring his knee for the third time in forty minutes.

Matt tells Jeff to go to the hospital so the knee doesn’t get hurt even worse.

Here’s Kurt Angle to address his farewell tour. Last week he had a five star match with Drew Galloway (not really but it was good). Now he’s not sure who to face next because there’s a lot of great talent in the back. This brings out Lashley, who talks about Kurt getting him into professional wrestling because he saw something special in Lashley.

They finally had their big showdown last year and it was a great match. It was the best of times and it was the worst of times for Lashley because he was in the ring with Kurt Angle but he lost. Now Lashley needs one more match to get this out of his system. That’s fine with Angle, who says it’s going to be real. This was fine.

Post break a woman comes up to Lashley and whispers that his pain is her pleasure.

Mike Bennett vs. Pepper Parks

This is Bennett’s debut on Impact and Parks gets a jobber entrance. They slowly walk around a bit until Parks shoves him into the corner. Bennett superkicks him down and hammers away as Maria seems to approve. A pair of suplexes puts Parks down again and Divine Intervention (Samoan Driver) gives Mike the pin at 2:59.

Post match Bennett talks about building a kingdom of miracles where everyone says “yes we do.”

Ethan says this ends tonight. Matt has his wife and son but Ethan has his family in Tyrus. This week, Matt Hardy goes home in this, and the camera zooms out to show that they’re sitting in an ambulance.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending and this is last man standing. Matt jumps him during the big match intros but Carter spears him right back and hammers away. Hardy is quickly on the floor (some hero) and Ethan drives him into various objects for an early four. A suplex onto the ramp allows Ethan to set up a pair of tables. Matt puts Ethan on both of them but gets caught on the top with a right hand. Instead Matt suplexes him back inside and we take a break.

Back with a ladder in the ring and Matt scoring with the Side Effect. Matt gets another table but takes way too long setting up the ladder, allowing Carter to grab a Russian legsweep. The fans are split on who to cheer for her as Ethan goes up and splashes Matt through the table. Matt gets up and hits a quick Twist of Fate for about seven, followed by a low blow. Now the fans are booing Hardy and Matt isn’t pleased.

Ethan is up at seven so Matt gives him another Twist of Fate through one of the tables at ringside. That’s only good for a nine though so Matt puts a chair around Ethan’s neck for another Twist of Fate. Carter is bleeding from the mouth but gets up at nine again, only to fall at ten.

With nothing else working, Matt goes to his wife and gets a hammer out of her bag. Ethan ducks the death shot and hits Matt low, setting up a 1%er. Cue Tyrus to turn on Carter with a Big Ending, which gives Matt another nine count. Ok you’ve done the big heel spot and you did the turn. Just change the stupid title already. Ethan goes after Tyrus but Matt blasts him with the belt, finally giving him the win at 19:45.

Rating: C+. It’s a good brawl but yeah, you’re supposed to get hyped about a power alliance between a heel nostalgia act and the former Brodus Clay. I have no idea who they think this is supposed to appeal to but at the end of the day, this is their big idea to get people to watch. Is it any wonder why their audience has shrunk so much?

Post break, Matt says he beat the unbeatable for himself. He came back here to help but he’s done listening to all these people because none of them matter. All that matters is the title and his wife because this is the era of Big Money Matt. With Carter still down (that was one heck of a belt shot), Matt gives him a Conchairto to close the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The future of this company looks less and less interesting every week. So now I have to watch the usual suspects go after Matt Hardy before we get the HUGE, yes HUGE I SAY, showdown between Matt and Jeff, likely all the way at Bound For Glory? The rest of the show was good enough but they’re running through a lot of material in a really short amount of time again and that’s often a problem in wrestling promotions. Decent show, but good night their future looks like a mess.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Tyrus via DQ when Tyrus shoved the referee

Gail Kim b. Awesome – Pin after throwing Jade onto Kongo

Beer Money b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – DWI to Godderz

Mike Bennett b. Pepper Parks – Divine Intervention

Matt Hardy b. Ethan Carter III – Carter couldn’t answer the ten count

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second week of Impact on Tuesday nights and Ethan Carter III is the World Champion again. That means it’s time to find a new opponent for him after Matt Hardy was completely dispatched last week in his third loss to Carter in a row. Other than that it’s hard to say what to expect here, though we are getting Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle in a dream match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tournament matches, leading to Carter getting the title back.

Quick video on Angle vs. Galloway.

Opening sequence.

Tyrus tells Ethan that it’s time.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus in the ring with something to say. Ethan talks about how this is more proof of how great he is. He thanks Tyrus for letting him fight on his own last week but Tyrus says he didn’t doubt Ethan for a minute. That’s enough from Tyrus as Ethan takes the mic away from him, which doesn’t sit well with Tyrus. Ethan keeps going about how great he is until Jeff Hardy comes out in wrestling gear. Of course it’s a Hardy because this show is another playground for them.

Jeff thanks Ethan for his effort last week but Ethan says he’s done with both Jeff and Matt. No Ethan, no you’re not, because you can never be done with the Hardys around here. Jeff says Matt can speak for himself and hands Ethan a document. It’s a note from Jeff’s doctor, saying that he’s cleared to wrestle.

That’s fine with Ethan but he doesn’t think Jeff deserves a shot that quick. Ethan thinks we need an opponent from the back right now. Here’s a masked man, with Ethan making sure to play some music for him. The man is named Shynron (a high flier, probably best known in Chikara) and he promises to take care of Hardy right now.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shynron

Ethan sits in on commentary as Shynron grabs a wristlock. Jeff dropkicks the masked man in the back to put him on the floor but something like a 619 over the apron takes Jeff down again. Back in and the Twist of Fate is broken up but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault results in a crash. Jeff throws him up for a powerbomb but drops back for a crash. The Twist of Fate puts Shynron away at 2:23.

The Dollhouse says they’re ready for Gail Kim and Kong promises to come for the title soon. The Beautiful People come in and promises to take down the Dollhouse tonight. A brawl breaks out.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

It’s Kong/Jade vs. Rayne/Sky. This is joined in progress after a break and is officially a street fight. The Dollhouse is in control until Velvet suplexes Jade on the stage. Back inside, Kong is running over Madison like she’s not even there. We get some choking on the ropes as Jade starts bringing in some weapons. Jade misses a Cannonball in the corner and hits a chair by mistake but she’s still able to hit Madison in the back with a trashcan lid while Kong chokes her in midair.

Velvet gets back in and kicks a chair into Kong’s face but Rebel and Marti Bell realize they can get involved. That earns them a double beating with kendo sticks and Kong gets one to match. Not that it matters as Jade comes back with a package piledriver to put Madison away at 6:10.

Rating: D+. My goodness I’m sick of TNA just shuffling the same people into slightly different stories against the same opponents over and over again. This was watchable enough but there was no way Kong or here team were losing after she became #1 contender this past Friday. The match was fine enough but I’m tired of these same names over and over again.

Speaking of the same people being used in the same roles (albeit a bit better this time), here’s Beer Money for a reunion celebration. James talks about how much fun they love to have and how he’s back to make a living for his family, but also to have fun. Roode says the thing that split them up in the first place is the reason they’re back together. One of them is from the country and one is from the city and they’re both sorry for what they did.

Storm is sorry for all the times he kicked Roode in the face and all those bar tabs he left Bobby to pay. Roode is sorry that he broke a beer bottle over Storm’s head, which causes Storm to pour Roode’s beer into a plastic cup. Bobby cuts it off and toasts the fans but says something is missing. There’s not enough fighting going on here so here are Eric Young and Bram to interrupt. Young rants about wanting to hurt Roode even more and says he likes the way Bram thinks. Eric wants the King of the Mountain Title back so Roode says let’s do it right here and right now.

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

Roode is defending and takes Young down with an armbar to start. There’s a big stain from all of the beer before the break. Young quickly takes him down and grabs a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. A belly to back suplex keeps the champ down but he blocks a middle rope…..something by raising a boot. A t-bone suplex sends Young flying, only to have him grab a belly to belly for two.

Roode slaps on a Sharpshooter (he’s Canadian you know), which he quickly drops down into a Crossface. A spinebuster gets two for the champ but Bram pulls the referee out. Storm spits beer in Bram’s eyes and the Englishman is taken down with a double suplex. The distraction lets Eric kick Roode low and piledrive him for the pin and the title at 7:42.

Rating: C-. Here’s ANOTHER feud that they did last year and are still going with it because they don’t have anything new to work with. Instead of Roode vs. Young, you could just as easily do Bram vs. Roode for something fresh, but instead we need to do the feud with the lame history that no one cares about. Yeah they were teammates together twelve years ago. What does it say that neither of them seem to have moved on in the last year?

Mr. Anderson is ready for his new talk show, entitled “Huh?”.

Ethan and Tyrus run into Michael Bennett and Maria in the back. The newcomers congratulate him on the title win but aren’t pleased when Ethan seems to blow them off. Bennett thinks the title looks good on Ethan’s shoulders, for now.

We look back at the Bound For Glory main event and the fallout that lead to the tournament, including Ethan getting the title back.

It’s time for the debut of Anderson’s talk show, complete with cheesy piano music. The first guests are Matt Hardy and his family, minus Jeff that is. For some reason Matt isn’t allowed to sit on the couch next to his wife and son because he gets to sit in a folding chair. Anderson gets right to the point by saying Matt choked last week.

Of course this doesn’t sit well with Matt as he brings up winning at Bound For Glory. He thought he had Ethan last week but Anderson calls him out for making excuses. We move on to Jeff, who Anderson thinks is doing Matt’s dirty work for him. Matt gets to the point: he wants one more match with Ethan and promises to win the title. That’s it for the Hardys with Reby giving a glare back to Anderson as they leave. So we sat through another segment to set up match #4 between Matt and Ethan. As in ANOTHER idea we’ve covered before.

Drew Galloway is in the crowd for storytime. Drew makes a guarantee to all of the fans here and at home: tonight will be an absolute spectacle in celebration of one of the best of all time.

Young and Bram celebrate their win and promise to get rid of Beer Money again.

Wolves/Tigre Uno vs. Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake/DJZ

Tigre and DJZ get things going with Uno grabbing a wristlock. Jesse and Eli are too busy to tag in as Pope complains about all of the confetti from Tigre’s entrance. The Wolves start double teaming Eli and throw Tigre into him to make it even worse. We settle down to Eddie vs. Jesse with Godderz taking over off a nice dropkick.

Off to Drake for a nice powerslam but Eddie hurricanranas both of them down and makes the hot tag to Davey. Everything breaks down Jesse clotheslines DJZ by mistake. The powerbomb into a backstabber is broken up and Jesse puts Eddie in the Adonis Lock, only to have DJZ break it up as payback on Godderz. Davey kicks Jesse in the head, setting up a brainbuster for the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C. This was the first really original thing all night (assuming you don’t count the Wolves fighting Jesse/Eli on Friday) and the match was also the least annoying thing to sit through so far. I’m assuming this turns DJZ face, which makes me wonder who in the world is left to challenge Tigre for the title. I’m sure TNA has a plan for that totally important title though right?

Jeff tells Matt to go for the title again.

Here’s Ethan (again) to ask Matt what he’s got to offer. This brings out Matt (again), who talks about Ethan getting his spot because of his last name. Matt knows he can’t offer any materialistic possessions, so he’s willing to put his career on the line. Ethan agrees, as long as it can be last man standing. The deal is made.

Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle

Feeling out process to start until Kurt suddenly throws it into high gear with an overhead belly to belly. We’re in an early chinlock for a bit before a double clothesline takes us to a break. Back with Drew hammering away in the corner, only to miss the Claymore and walk into the rolling German suplexes.

The Angle slam gets two so it’s off to the ankle. It’s only the first ankle lock though so Drew is quickly out and hitting the Futureshock for two. Off to another ankle lock but Drew rolls him out to the floor. Another suplex gets another two but the Claymore connects out of nowhere for Drew’s second near fall. There’s another Claymore for another two because main events mean you trade finishers for ten minutes.

Drew takes him to the top but gets punched into the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a superplex. Galloway wins a quick slugout but misses a charge into the post, setting up the second Angle slam for two. With nothing else working, Kurt takes him to the top for the super Angle slam and the pin at 15:10.

Rating: B. It was good but I see little reason why Angle needs to win most of the matches on his retirement tour, which really seems to be where we’re going with this thing. If Drew is supposed to be the future (which he isn’t as he needs to gain another ten years or so), then maybe you shouldn’t have him lose here. I get why they did, but it’s not the smartest idea in the world.

Overall Rating: D. I really don’t remember the last time an episode of Impact got on my nerves this badly. We sat through three months of taped shows to get us to the “live” debut on Pop, all of which was time that TNA could come up with something fresh. Their ideas once we get to the new year: Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People again, Hardy vs. Carter again, Young vs. Roode again and a Beer Money reunion. What was TNA’s creative doing during all that time? It certainly wasn’t coming up with something fresh and interesting.

Looking at what we got tonight, I never want to see a Hardy again. It felt like Matt Hardy was in every single segment and now we get ANOTHER Carter vs. Hardy match because the first three weren’t clear enough. My guess is they finally put the title on Matt, likely with shenanigans, because that makes up for all of the previous losses in wrestling logic.

That goes back to the main problem here: we’ve seen so much of this stuff before. It felt like TNA just took whatever ideas they’ve had in the last year and threw them out there again because they worked so well the first time. This show wasn’t a horrible quality, but it was a horrible effort. With the state that TNA is in at the moment, that’s the worst possible thing they could have. I’m sure TNA fans will love it because they love whatever TNA throws at them and seem to love seeing the same ideas over and over again, but this was a really, really tough sit.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Shynron – Twist of Fate

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Package piledriver to Rayne

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver

Tigre Uno/Wolves b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz/DJZ – Brainbuster to Godderz

Kurt Angle b. Drew Galloway – Super Angle slam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at how the new year started for both shows.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-which-way-do-we-go/47599/

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This is a new beginning for TNA as they’re making their debut on Pop TV and crowning a new World Champion to wrap up their three month long tournament. This is in addition to all of their new stories and potentially new talents debuting. In other words, this is their restart point after all that time off. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tournament in case you haven’t heard about it in the last three months.

The new opening sequence has a slower instrumental theme by Billy Corgan. I’m not wild on it as it’s not really doing much to fire me up.

There’s a new entrance with a big screen and an entrance in the middle. It’s very similar to Raw if you lowered the video screen.

Dixie Carter is in the ring with the World Title to open things up. She talks about being on Pop because of several reasons, though she leaves out the fact that they didn’t have many other options. This leads to a discussion of the final four but here are Ethan and Titus to interrupt. Ethan thinks this is a new beginning so we should have a Carter family reunion and an official airing of the grievances.

Ethan goes on a rant about how Dixie can’t handle his success but Dixie cuts him off to say that Ethan needs to take a long look in the mirror. Back at Bound For Glory, Matt Hardy beat him to win the title and now Ethan is using lawyers to rob Matt of his title. This brings out Matt to mock Ethan’s whining but Eric Young runs in to jump him from behind. Lashley comes out for the save but has to deal with Tyrus. They all fight to the floor and it’s Matt diving off the top to take down Carter, Tyrus and Lashley as we go to a break.

We’re about thirteen minutes into the show and I’m really not feeling this show so far. It’s not bad but it feels like almost every wrestling show I’ve seen in a long time: talking leading to brawling to the end of the first segment. None of these four guys are doing anything for me as champion either and that’s not a good thing.

During the break, Young attacked Matt with a chair and tried to piledrive him on a chair until security stopped him.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Eric Young vs. Lashley

Lashley lost to Carter back in the group stage. Carter hides at ringside to start before getting inside, only to be run over by a hard shoulder. Back in and Carter stops a charge with two boots in the corner and Tyrus adds a slam on the floor to earn his paycheck. Ethan slaps on a chinlock as the fans argue over whether or not he can wrestle.

Carter mixes it up with a standing guillotine choke until Lashley suplexes him down with pure power. A TKO drops Lashley for two but he powers out of the 1%er and grabs a powerslam. Tyrus breaks up the spear but Lashley powers Carter onto his shoulder, only to have to deck Tyrus again. The spear misses and Carter grabs a rollup for the pin to advance at 9:28.

Rating: C+. Much like this show as a whole so far, this was just kind of there. I’ve seen better and I’ve seen worse, but it’s nothing I’m really going to remember after tonight. Well at least not until TNA shows us five recap videos of it a week for the next two months. It’s a fine enough match, but Lashley keeps looking like a choker in these big matches.

Bobby Roode misquotes Kid Rock by saying it’s not cocky if you can back it up (the line is “it’s not bragging if you do it and you back it up”). Tonight there’s a challenge to anyone in any promotion to face him for the King of the Mountain Title.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say. He thanks the fans for always having his back throughout his career and all of his accomplishments. Angle talks about what a thrill it is to come out here every single week but now it’s time for him to step aside. After listing off some of the great opponents he’s fought over the years, Angle says his farewell tour needs to have some top talent involved. There is so much talent right behind the screen with guys like Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards, plus his handpicked opponent for next week: Drew Galloway.

Drew comes out to say what an honor this is and how the wrestling fan inside him is freaking out right now. However, here’s Jesse Godderz of all people to interrupt. Jesse brags about his success on Big Brother and how appropriate it is for him to be the star on this new network. Cue Eli Drake to talk about how the fossil in the ring needs to leave wrestling alone. Angle was talking about the Wolves but Drake could team up with anyone, even Jesse, and beat them. Angle considers this a challenge and asks for a fight, resulting in the heels quickly being cleared out.

Jeff Hardy promises that Matt will win the title tonight.

Eric Young comes out and says Matt won’t be fighting tonight. Cue a limping Matt for their match.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Matt Hardy vs. Eric Young

Young goes after him on the ramp and is almost immediately backdropped before the opening bell. They get inside and Matt decks him in the jaw a few times. The limp is fine enough that Matt can run the ropes but an early Twist of Fate attempt is easily broken up. Eric takes it back to the floor and pulls back the floor mats. That goes nowhere so Eric throws him back inside and it’s time for a slugout.

A bulldog and Twist of Fate get two each for Matt before they spill back to the floor. Young actually pulls off the piledriver on the exposed concrete and Matt is done. Cue Jeff to check on his brother but Eric baseball slides him down. Despite being dropped on his head on concrete, Matt is still able to catch Eric diving off the top in a cutter (called a Twist of Fate) for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C. Same reaction as the first match: it’s ok and that’s about it. I don’t think there was any surprise that Matt was winning here, though that doesn’t make Ethan vs. Matt for the title all over again mean any less. Of course there’s always the chance that there could be a swerve, but at least it might be more entertaining than the two just ok matches we’ve seen so far.

Someone whose face we can’t see is walking through the back.

Back from a break, Ethan accuses Jeff of keeping Matt in his shadow. Jeff says no way and promises that Matt wins tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. ???

Roode is defending against…..Bram. It’s a brawl to start and they’re quickly on the ramp with Roode running him over with a clothesline to the back of the head. Bram gets sent hard into the barricade as this is one sided so far. The Roode Bomb and Blockbuster both miss and Bram gets two off a spinwheel kick. Not that it matters as the Roode Bomb retains the title at 4:45.

Rating: D. This was nothing more than a way to add another title match to a card. The name of the title really isn’t working for me but at least they’re giving Roode something to do. Bram continues to be the same guy which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Not the worst match ever here but it didn’t have time to go anywhere.

Post match James Storm’s music starts up before Eric Young runs in to attack Roode. Bram and Young beat him down but here’s James Storm (shock and awe) to clean house. Storm says he’s been asked why he left Impact Wrestling a few months back. Once he left he realized that he didn’t like who he was becoming because that’s not him.

Then he traveled the world (or at least other parts of Florida) and started flipping through the channels when he saw himself winning the Biggest Disappointment Award. That’s not how he rolls because people like him made this company. That brings him to Roode, who he’s drank a lot of beer with and made a lot of money with. Now it’s time to have a little fun so Storm offers him a beer. Roode: “Money.”

Given that this show is taped and not airing live, the fact that a production error like that aired is inexcusable. Like really, find someone to cut that thing out and make this look professional.

The Beautiful People are ready for the Doghouse because they’re the originals.

Beer Money issues a challenge to Bram and Eric Young for this Friday’s live One Night Only pay per view.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

Taryn is out of the company so it’s Marti Bell/Jade/Rebel vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne and a mystery partner due to Angelina Love being pregnant. Now since this is TNA, I’d bet on the partner being Gail Kim. The mystery partner is…..oh of course it’s Gail Kim. Jade and Gail get things going with Kim taking over, meaning it’s off to Velvet vs. Marti.

Velvet starts cleaning house and it’s Madison coming in off a blind tag for a dropkick. Rebel comes in as well and drops Gail with a faceplant before holding Madison in place for a dropkick from Jade. Everything breaks down and we get the parade of finishers, capped off by Jade kicking Gail in the head for two. Since this is TNA though, a quick bodyscissors into a rollup gives Gail the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D+. The girls looked good but there’s nothing here we haven’t seen before. I had Gail Kim written down before her entrance because this division is the same group of women doing almost the same story every single time because it’s all they know how to do. If I had to guess, Kong is next.

Post match the Beautiful People and Gail get beaten down until Kong comes out to make it even worse. Apparently Kong is now the new leader of the Dollhouse. Riveting.

It’s time for the debut of the Miracle. This brings out Maria Kanellis, fresh over from Ring of Honor. Maria talks about how everyone has false hope of getting a promotion or losing that seventy five pounds. Or maybe they keep hoping that someone will come along and save professional wrestling. Tonight, that miracle is coming true and its name is Mike Bennett.

Cue Bennett in a suit and Bray Wyatt style hat to declare himself our new hero. Pro wrestling needs a miracle because it used to be fun and exciting. When Mike was a kid, wrestling was mainstream but now it’s full of a bunch of wannabes who call themselves pro wrestlers. Later tonight, the washed up Matt Hardy is facing Ethan Carter III for the World Title but that’s not the miracle that wrestling needs. The miracle will be when Mike Bennett wins the World Title and the commentators are all asking if we believe in miracles. Good debut here, but as usual Maria outshines her husband.

Matt Hardy tells his wife and son that this is all for them.

The Wolves challenge Kurt Angle and Drew Galloway for Friday. Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz come in so they’ll make it a three way.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

The title is vacant coming in. Jeff and Tyrus agree to leave them alone, the latter of which isn’t cool with Ethan. It’s a brawl to start with Matt taking over on the floor to start and throwing Carter over the announcers’ table. Back in and neither finisher can hit but Carter gets two off a dropkick. A running neckbreaker sends Matt out to the apron and Ethan kicks him head first into the post for good measure.

Matt comes right back with a Side Effect for two though because his head will not die. Two more Side Effects get two more near fall but Ethan comes back with some TKO’s. A third TKO is countered into the Twist of Fate for two and the 1%er gets the same. There’s almost nothing between these big moves. Another Twist gets another two so Matt tries a super Twist of Fate, only to be countered into a super 1%er to give Carter the title back at 10:20.

Rating: C+. After three months, thirty two participants and a ton of hype, the final match isn’t even eleven minutes long. It’s not a bad match or anything and they were doing well with the drama, but after all the time and effort they put into this thing, there’s really no way you can have a ten minute match for the big blowoff. Way too short for what it needed to be here.

Ethan poses as Matt’s wife is more upset than her husband.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that happened. This was a totally middle of the road show with very little interesting. We’re right back where we were before Bound For Glory with Carter as champion and no one interesting to fight him. Are we supposed to care about Tyrus getting a shot? If that’s their big story, they’re in a lot more trouble than they thought. The show certainly wasn’t bad or anything but for their big premiere after all that time off, I was expecting WAY more than what we got here.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley – Rollup

Matt Hardy b. Eric Young – Twist of Fate

Bobby Roode b. Bram – Roode Bomb

Beautiful People/Gail Kim b. Dollhouse – Rollup to Jade

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Super 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 29, 2015
Hosts: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second half of the Best of 2015 show, meaning this one is likely to focus on Bound For Glory and the tournament. Last week’s show was kind of all over the place so it could be interesting to see what they do with this. There’s always a chance of a lot of promos for next week too. Let’s get to it.

Josh and Pope get right to the point and send us to Matt Hardy challenging EC3 to a Full Metal Mayhem match.

From August 5.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending in Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC. The champ takes over early on with a chair to the back before sitting down so he can punch Matt from eye level. That earns him a Side Effect through the chair and it’s already ladder time, which goes upside Ethan’s face. The ladder is laid across the middle corner so Carter can be rammed face first as Matt is in full control.

It’s time to go up but it’s WAY too early on, allowing Ethan to chair Matt in the leg. Why would you ever go up that early on? Back from a break with Matt breaking up Carter’s attempt at the belt by sending Ethan down into the buckle. Matt isn’t done yet as he drives the ladder into Ethan’s crotch to prevent another generation of Carter’s from populating the earth. That’s still not enough for Matt to get the title so he plants Ethan with the Twist of Fate.

A moonsault through the table is broken up with a quick crotching and a powerbomb through the wood but Matt is up again with a powerbomb of his own to break up Carter’s climb. They head outside with Matt bridging a ladder between the steps and the ring, only to get slammed head first onto the ladder. Since we haven’t had enough near climbs yet, Matt makes another save and hits a Side Effect onto the apron.

A guillotine legdrop drives Carter through the table on the floor but Matt takes way too long to climb, allowing Ethan to chair him in the leg. They already have to repeat spots for the saves? Carter climbs up, shoves Matt down and pulls the title off the hook to retain at 20:10.

Rating: B. Fun enough match but there was no reason for this to involve ladders and weapons other than so TNA could have a match involving ladders and weapons. It’s their first match against each other for the title and they used the big gimmick already. Matt became #1 contender for thrown together reasons and that’s not how you want to have a major match like this. It was fun, but I have no desire to watch it again. At least Carter won on his own for a change too.

We look at Mahabali Shera splitting from James Storm.

From May 29.

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

This is match #2 in a best of five series with the Wolves up 1-0. Roode throws Aries through the ropes for a suicide dive to start but Davey runs inside for a dive of his own on Aries. The Wolves double team Roode inside until Austin gets back in and things settle down a bit. Edwards chops away at Aries but Austin punches him in the face, setting up a tag to Roode for chops of his own.

The Heels (who aren’t heels) load up what looked like a Sharpshooter but Aries gets kicked into his partner, allowing the Wolves to double team even more. Davey puts Rode into a reverse figure four (with Roode facing the mat and Davey facing up) for a unique looking submission. The German suplex into the jackknife rollup gets two as the announcers are overhyping the heck out of this. Eddie puts Roode in a chinlock for a bit until Bobby fights up and makes the hot tag to Aries.

Austin speeds things up and snaps both Wolves’ throats across the top, setting up a missile dropkick to Edwards. There’s the Last Chancery on Davey and a Crossface to Eddie but both Wolves make the ropes. Something like Chasing the Dragon but with a Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster gets two on Aries but he pops right back up for the running dropkick in the corner, followed by the 450 to Eddie with Davey making the save. Another Last Chancery has Edwards in trouble but Richards comes in off the top with a double stomp for the save, setting up the powerbomb into a Backstabber to pin Austin at 11:09.

Rating: B. This was straight out of the indy playbook with the entire match being action from bell to bell. That sounds cool on paper, but between everything going all over the place and Josh telling us about two minutes in that this was a classic and something we were going to remember forever, the match kind of dulled on me very quickly. It’s definitely fun, but I prefer building up to the insane finish instead of just having it run the entire match.

Clips of Jeff Jarrett’s Hall of Fame induction.

Clips of Mr. Anderson beating Bram on August 19.

Recap of the GFW heel turn, setting up the war with TNA.

Very quick clip of Lethal Lockdown with TNA beating GFW.

Clip of Tigre Uno winning the X-Division Title.

Clip of EC3 beating Matt Hardy again to earn Jeff Hardy as his personal assistant.

Clip of the Dollhouse beating up Gail Kim in a cage.

We see Brooke winning the Knockouts Title.

Clip of Team Young winning the Hardcore War and Young stealing Chris Melendez’s leg.

We look at some of the things EC3 has put Jeff Hardy through.

Another video on Storm vs. Shera.

From September 16.

Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Lei’D Tapa vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Brooke is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Gail and Brooke go after the giants to start and are quickly thrown to the side. Tapa and Kong slug it out until Brooke and Gail beat on Tapa for a bit. Kong adds a splash and we take an early break. Back with Tapa dropping Gail face first off the barricade but Kong dives off the apron to crush Tapa with a cross body.

Gail and Brooke fight in the ring until Kong misses a charge at Tapa and takes out the champ. Tapa slams Gail down inside but Kim kicks away at the knee. Kong comes back in with a top rope splash to Tapa. Brooke’s top rope elbow hits Kong and all four are down. The giants are sent to the floor, leaving Brooke to try a sunset flip on Gail, who sits down on it for the pin and the title at 12:21.

Rating: C-. Who else? Who else could it have been but Gail Kim? She fits in so perfectly with the theme of the same tired ideas that we’ve seen dozens of times in TNA as they seem to be on their last legs (the most recent time that is), so why not just put the belt on her again so she can bore the fans to sleep one last time.

We see the ending of Kim beating Kong at Bound For Glory.

Clip of the Revolution finally splitting and Shere beating Storm.

We see the end of Ultimate X from Bound For Glory.

Matt Hardy won the World Title at Bound For Glory.

We wrap things up with a five minute highlight reel of the tournament.

Overall Rating: D. Well that happened. This was even more random than last week with the tournament, as in the last quarter of the year, barely being touched on until the end of the show. I get the idea that it’s a Best Of, but they can’t even show a few matches from the tournament? Josh raved about how great Edwards vs. Richards was for a month and it gets three seconds in the highlight package? This was another bizarre set of choices, but to be fair none of that is going to matter after Tuesday when the tournament wraps up.

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