Monday Night Raw – June 16, 2008: Mama KB’s Birthday Bonanza

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2008
Location: E-Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s night two of Million Dollar Mania, which is likely going to mean a lot of sitting around while Vince McMahon talks on the phone. Other than that, we’re on the way towards Night Of Champions and things are heating up between John Cena and HHH. We’re also a week away from the Draft and that means things are going to be shaken up soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how much he loves WWE and how there are moments that transcend time. Moments like Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant, Shawn Michaels’ boyhood dream coming true, and the first time Steve Austin beat someone up. We are (less than) two weeks away from another one of those moments, when he defeats HHH at Night Of Champions to become WWE Champion.

Cue HHH to say this isn’t personal but he’s not sure how much he believes that. Last week, Cena cost HHH a match with Jeff Hardy. If that happens again, this is going to get really personal really fast. Cena brings up HHH knocking him off the announcers’ table last week but HHH knew he would fall off on his own anyway. We hear about HHH tapping at Wrestlemania, with HHH pointing out that IT WAS TWO YEARS AGO.

Cena says HHH may be champion, but until he beats Cena, it doesn’t matter. HHH mocks Cena for being a favorite of younger fans and THAT is enough to make Cena want to fight. A referee comes in but here is Vince McMahon to says not so fast, because this is about giving away money. As for the people in the ring, Cena is in a match right now.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Street fight. Cena tries a sunset lip of all things before going for the slam, with Umaga falling down on him instead. Umaga knocks him hard off the apron and we take a break. Back with Cena charging into a Samoan drop on the ramp but the running hip attack only hits post. Cena hits him with the microphone (there had to be better options) but Umaga plants him with the spinning Rock Bottom for two.

Umaga grabs a chair but Cena takes it away and puts him down instead. The Throwback and top rope Fameasser connect, only to have Cena fall down when trying the FU. A whip into the steps keeps Cena down so Umaga brings the steps inside, only to have Cena reverse into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two had some great chemistry together at one point and it was still there to a certain extent, but Umaga has fallen a very long way since the old days. Cena got a little something out of a win over the monster though and that was the point. I’m sure HHH will have a match of his own later on as it’s a good way to make both he and Cena look like stars.

Vince McMahon calls a fan and makes him bark like a dog, which is good for $125,000.

And now, a bikini contest between Maria, Eve Torres, Jillian Hall, Lena Yada, Layla, Melina and Maryse, with Charlie Haas of all people hosting. They all disrobe (well not Jillian, who would rather sing), get fifteen seconds each, and Maria wins.

Vince, money, $100,000, though the fan from North Carolina says Ric Flair is the most handsome man ever from the state. Vince lets him have the money anyway.

We look back at Chris Jericho injuring Shawn Michaels’ eye.

Jim Duggan comes out (both he and the 2×4 are in tuxedos) to help Vince McMahon give away $50,000 but the call goes to voicemail. Vince mocks the fan for blowing it so another fan wins instead.

Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Jeff starts fast by sending him outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and Carlito catches him in the ropes for the hanging swinging suplex. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back but it’s broken up rather quickly. Jeff misses a dropkick to give Carlito two but he’s right back with a jawbreaker to send Carlito flying. The Whisper In The Wind gets two and there’s the sitout gordbuster. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Carlito off.

Rating: B-. Nice match here, though they didn’t have much time to get very far. The interesting thing here though is that Hardy seems ready to move up to the main event scene. Last week he beat HHH and this week he gets a nice win over Carlito. He’s too big to be in the Intercontinental Title scene, so there isn’t much left for him to go but move up the ladder again. That could be a big deal, and we should be on the way.

Vince, $175,000 this time, but the fan has to sing part of the National Anthem.

Here is Chris Jericho to explain attacking Shawn Michaels last week because everyone has been getting on him about it. We see a clip of the attack and then Jericho blames the fans for changing. It wasn’t his fault that any of this had to happen but the fans are blaming him anyway. That means the fans don’t deserve to be saved anymore and he doesn’t need want them to cheer him anyway. They must want Shawn to come out here right now but it’s not going to happen.

Cue Ric Flair to interrupt and get in Jericho’s face to tell him to shut up. No he can’t wrestle anymore, but they can go to the parking lot and have a fight right now. They start heading to the back but Jericho runs into HHH, who thinks Jericho has been doing enough. Ever since Jericho came back, HHH has been wanting to make Jericho his business and now he wants a fight. Jericho backs down though and we take a break. Back with Flair still wanting to fight but Vince McMahon comes in to have him escorted out. Instead, Vince makes HHH vs. Jericho for tonight.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Ted DiBiase comes out to offer a distraction….and Holly rolls JTG up for the pin in about ten seconds. Well at least they didn’t lose again.

Vince, $16 to a North Carolina fan in honor of the 16 time World Champion Ric Flair.

Paul Burchill/Katie Lea vs. Mr. Kennedy/Mickie James

This Kennedy vs. Burchill feud needs to wrap up already if they want Kennedy to be something. Kennedy starts fast with a backdrop and stomps away in the corner. Burchill isn’t having that and pulls him into a chinlock before grinding a forearm into Kennedy’s face. Back up and Kennedy hits a running boot in the corner but Katie tags herself in. The fight with Mickie is on with Mickie’s running basement dropkick getting two. The men brawl to the floor, leaving Mickie to miss the top rope Thesz press. Katie grabs a backbreaker for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Kennedy and Burchill didn’t do much here but this was about Katie getting another win over Mickie to set up a likely title match. It’s nice to see some fresh blood in the title picture and Katie has done well enough in her chances so far. I can’t imagine she wins the title, but so far so good.

Vince, $174,984 to a VERY excited fan.

Vince, $75,000.

Night Of Champions rundown.

John Cena wishes HHH luck.

Vince, $300,000. We’ll be doing this again next week.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. HHH knocks him down a few times to start as Jericho can’t get much going early on. A whip into the post bangs up Jericho’s shoulder and he falls out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jericho choking on the ropes and then standing on HHH’s back to choke some more. Jericho misses a charge though and HHH slugs away, only to have the facebuster blocked. The Walls don’t work either and HHH hits a spinebuster. Jericho can’t get the Walls or the Lionsault and they fight out to the floor. Cue Lance Cade of all people to jump HHH for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Another nice match and that’s kind of the point here. I can go for not having a champion lose clean in a thrown together match and they covered that well here. Throw in Cade joining Jericho out of nowhere and things were certainly interesting. They covered a few things here and that’s nice to see for a main event.

Post match the beatdown is on but John Cena runs in for the save. HHH and Cena get in a fight but Jericho and Cade take them both out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The action was good and they’re turning Night Of Champions into something big, but at the end of the day, the Vince money stuff is getting annoying fast. They’re trying to throw in some jokes here and there but there is only so much that can be done with someone getting a phone call, saying a password, and winning money. Next week is the Draft though and that should change things up more than enough.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 16, 2010: A Very Themed Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was a request for reasons not quite clear. It’s night after Summerslam and the big story is John Cena and company vanquished the Nexus, in a match that saw Cena overcome some rather insane odds. Other than that, Sheamus is still Raw World Champion, having retained the title over Randy Orton. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here is the Nexus to get things going, with commentary saying that the team showed they belong despite losing last night. Wade Barrett (the team’s leader) says they beat SIX of the best that Raw had to offer last night (keep in mind that it was a 7 on 7 tag match) and they are still ready to dominate WWE. They were defeated and that means there will be consequences for Raw.

Cue John Cena, to say that Barrett has the resolve of Winston Churchill and the toughness of Snooki from the Jersey Shore. Cena brings up how Barrett tapped out to cause the team to lose. The reality is that Nexus is expendable and Barrett must be kicking himself in the fish and chips over letting Daniel Bryan go. Then last night Bryan eliminated over half of the Nexus by himself as they proved that Nexus can be defeated.

You have the various members of the team, such as Otunga (an above average male escort), Tarver (looks like a stripper), Heath Slater (the chick from Wendy’s…..so Wendy), Darren Young (a cross between Cena and Buckwheat), Justin Gabriel (he has an “alternative” way of thinking) and Skip Sheffield (who thinks the Meow Mix theme).

All that matters is they are a bunch of humans, with Young tapping out in less than a minute. We get an email from the anonymous Raw General Manager (egads the flashbacks), saying tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a bunch of singles matches, with threats made against Nexus interference.

Barrett doesn’t like hearing that he tapped out, but promises that after tonight, Nexus will be stronger than ever. If any of them lose though, their spots might not be safe. Otunga says that’s fine, but if Barrett loses, someone else can step up and take the leadership. We get another email, saying Nexus can pick their matchups tonight. Except for Barrett that is, because he gets to face Chris Jericho. So there’s your show tonight, and they did it in about fifteen minutes. That’s fairly fast for some Raw opening segments.

Chris Jericho vs. Wade Barrett

Jericho kicks him down to start as the rest of Nexus is shown watching in the back. There’s the triangle dropkick to send Barrett outside but he’s able to knock Jericho off the apron for a breather. There’s a big boot to drop Jericho again and we hit the double arm crank. Jericho fights up and hits a middle rope dropkick, followed by the bulldog. A quick Wasteland attempt is countered into the Walls, sending Barrett straight to the rope. Back up and Jericho boots him in the face again, only to get caught with an enziguri. The Codebreaker is loaded up but Barrett reverses into the Wasteland for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. Jericho can be criticized for a lot of things, but he has a reputation as someone who will put just about anyone over. That is a big win for Barrett, especially after last night’s big loss. Barrett being able to hang with someone at Jericho’s level helps him a lot and they had a good match to show what Barrett can do.

This week’s guest hosts are Jason Sudekis, Charlie Day and Justin Long. They have a new moving coming out and seemingly have no idea what to talk about here so they just make weird noises. We hear some NBA insults before the team introduces the Hart Dynasty (Tag Team Champions).

Hold on though as we get another email. As of tonight, the Unified Tag Team Titles will now be known as the WWE Tag Team Titles, so here is Bret Hart with the new (bronze, because of course) titles. Thankfully that means dropping the dumb four belts for two people idea but here is Nexus on the screen. They have picked Hart’s opponent for tonight: Justin Gable, who promises a 450 to Bret. At least those morons were off quick.

We hear about Daniel Bryan replacing the injured Great Khali on Team WWE. No clip for that?

Michael Tarver vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan goes after the arm to start as Cole goes off about Bryan having no skill or change of becoming a star because he doesn’t eat meat. The rapid fire kicks to the chest in the corner have Tarver in more trouble and a missile dropkick makes it worse. Cue Miz and Alex Riley for a distraction though, allowing Tarver to get the fast rollup pin.

Post match Bryan goes after the Miz but Riley and Tarver take him down. The Skull Crushing Finale onto Miz’s Money In The Bank briefcase leaves Bryan laying.

Post break Miz and Riley talk about how they don’t like Bryan’s popularity, with Miz promising that Riley will be the next breakout star.

Darren Young tells Nexus that he’ll be facing John Cena. Pep talking ensues.

Justin Gabriel vs. Bret Hart

Actually hold on as we get an email saying there is a replacement.

Justin Gabriel vs. Randy Orton

Orton (in his weird bare arms phase) powers him into the corner to start but Gabriel flips over him and starts kicking away. As Lawler tries to figure out what kind of animal Gabriel is poking here (before finally remembering the whole VIPER thing), Orton snaps off the powerslam and the hanging DDT. The RKO is loaded up but cue Sheamus for….not a DQ as Orton brawls with him into the crowd for the countout instead. Well that was a dumb way out of the stipulation.

Post match Orton goes back inside to RKO Gabriel. With that not being enough, Orton grabs a chair and unloads on Sheamus to blow off some steam. That’s not enough so Orton drops Sheamus with the RKO on the floor for a bonus.

Skip Sheffield/David Otunga vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

Morrison works on Otunga’s arm to start before grabbing a Russian legsweep. It’s off to Sheffield to powerslam Truth but Otunga comes back in and gets Downward Spiraled. Cole asks what a Truth/Morrison win would mean for the locker room’s psyche. I’m thinking….not much? Anyway Morrison comes back in to pick up the pace but Sheffield runs him over. One heck of a running clothesline finishes Morrison to keep Nexus undefeated.

Melina/Eve Torres/Gail Kim vs. Jillian/Maryse/Alicia Fox

Gail easily takes Maryse down to start and calls her a gold digger. A crossbody gives Gail two and it’s off to Melina, who is taken into the wrong corner. Fox hits her always nice looking northern lights suplex and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up and Eve comes in with a bunch of dropkicks. Everything breaks down and Eve hits an enziguri out of the corner to drop Jillian. The moonsault is loaded up but Jillian rolls her up out of the corner for the big upset pin.

Edge isn’t surprised that he led Team WWE to victory last night but here is Heath Slater to interrupt. They’re facing each other tonight and Heath tries to get him to back out. That’s not going to work for Edge, who isn’t losing to a Wendy looking Edge wannabe. Heath decks him and leaves.

Edge vs. Heath Slater

Edge knocks him into the corner without too much trouble to start but Heath gets in a cheap shot. They head outside with Edge being sent into the barricade, followed by the armbar back inside. That’s broken up and Edge makes the clothesline comeback for two. Heath gets in his own clothesline for two, with a fan shouting “I HATE YOU HEATH SLATER! I HATE YOU!” Back up and Edge sends him (Heath, not the fan) outside but misses the baseball slide dropkick. The spear against the steps misses….and Heath beats the count back inside for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well that was nothing, but it’s getting more than a little tough to accept that after eliminating all seven members last night, Team WWE can’t beat a single member of the Nexus here. That doesn’t makes the most sense and it’s leading to some rather screwy finishes. This didn’t feel like something Edge would ever fall for and it’s not something I would buy him doing, which doesn’t exactly make for a strong finish.

Post match Edge hits a spear to blow off some steam.

The hosts are in the back with Great Khali and talk about long distances relationships (which is why Khali hasn’t been doing the Kiss Cam). Justin Long sees a picture of Khali’s girlfriend and the other hosts aren’t impressed. They then find out that Khali understands English, but he admits the girlfriend is ugly. Then he leaves with the Bellas. Cole: “WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?”

Video on Summerslam week, including a bunch of charity stuff.

John Cena vs. Darren Young

No entrance for Young and that can’t be a good sign. Hold on though as cue Nexus to watch from the stage and Young gets two off a fast rollup to start. Young grabs a headlock and my goodness you can hear the spots being called despite a fairly rowdy crowd. Cena reverses into a headlock of his own but gets suplexed down, setting up a legdrop for two more. Cole: “Remember Young has to win this match.” Lawler: “I think Cena has to win this match.” Cole: “I agree with you.”

A clothesline and neckbreaker give Young two each and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Back up and Cena….charges into an elbow in the corner as this has been one sided so far. Young drops a leg, Cena says “one more leg”, Young drops another leg. A northern lights suplex gets two more and Young is getting frustrated. With nothing else working, Young tosses him outside and then into the steps for a nine count. Back in and Cena quickly starts the comeback, setting up the Shuffle into the STFU for the tap.

Rating: C+. For someone who almost never got used on his own, Young can wrestle a decent match when he is given the chance. Granted having Cena call spots REALLY LOUDLY might have helped, but it was the best Young ever looked in WWE. At some point someone from Nexus had to lose and Young was the only one left by the end.

Post match the Nexus comes to the ring but let Cena go, instead circling Young. The big beatdown is on, with the Wasteland into the 450 splash destroying Young to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Normally I like the idea of focusing on one thing throughout the show but this was extreme even by WWE standards. Other than the women’s match and some dumb stuff with the hosts, this was all about one storyline. Throw in Nexus dominating most of the show and this wasn’t exactly interesting, with Nexus dominating most of the show despite losing last night. Not a good show, as the Nexus story was instantly a lot lamer after the Summerslam loss. Focusing on a big story is fine, but you have to mix it up a bit.

 

 

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Smackdown – May 16, 2008: She’s In Trouble

Smackdown
Date: May 16, 2008
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Mick Foley, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and, for the third pay per view in a row, the Smackdown main event is going to be Edge vs. Undertaker for the World Title. That doesn’t make for the most exciting result, but that is about all they can do in their current situation. I’m not sure how interesting the final push is going to be but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s Championship Chase, with Vickie Guerrero adding Edge in at the last minute to steal the title shot.

Opening sequence.

Here is La Familia to get things going. Edge brags about earning the title shot last week and can’t wait to beat Undertaker, who can’t win without the illegal choke. Cue Teddy Long, who is sorry he’s late. Vickie Guerrero can’t believe he’s here and says that as her assistant, he needs to be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave (Uh, how can he help her then?).

Actually Teddy says he was meeting with the Board Of Directors today, because Vickie blew off her meeting with them. He has a letter from the board for her: she can either have her first ever match or be fired from her job, with Long suggesting he would take her place. Vickie threatens to fire him but he quits and leaves instead. Oh and one more thing: her opponent is the UNDERTAKER. They had to do something like this at some point, though Vickie getting in the ring sounds more like comedy than anything else.

CM Punk vs. Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo pounds him down into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock takeover. Punk fights up and low bridges him to the floor, setting up the almost required suicide dive. Palumbo gets in another shot though and we hit the chinlock back inside. The elbow misses Punk and he fires off some kicks to put Palumbo in trouble.

There’s the running knee in the corner into the bulldog for two, followed by a springboard clothesline for the same. One heck of a standing clothesline gives Palumbo two and there’s a fall away slam for another near fall. Full Throttle is broken up though and Punk sends him into the post. The GTS finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. That should end this mini feud, as well as Punk’s kind of weird losing streak over his last few matches. I know Punk has the briefcase but that doesn’t mean he needs to lose so often. I’m still not sure why Palumbo got to beat him in the first place but at least they seem to have gotten back on track.

MVP comes in to see La Familia and complains about last week’s Championship Chase. Finlay and then Big Show follow him in but Vickie Guerrero doesn’t like the complaining. MVP can find a partner and face Finlay and Show. With the three of them gone, Chavo Guerrero wants to know why he wasn’t in on last week’s plan. Vickie tells him to shut up because they have planning to do.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

Layla kicks her way out of the corner to start and slugs away, only to have Michelle come back with a leg crank. Commentary talks about how much better Michelle would have been as their science teacher as she gets a heel hook for the rather fast tap.

Here is Batista for a chat. He was watching Raw this week and saw Shawn Michaels admit that he was faking his knee injury at Backlash. Batista is glad Shawn is better….but wait, it was never hurt in the first place. Shawn is going to be at Judgment day, and maybe Batista will be there too. As usual, Batista keeps it simple and to the point, which often goes best or him.

Video on John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield.

Big Show/Finlay vs. MVP/Mark Henry

Henry is the surprise partner and Hornswoggle is here too, as Show is suddenly a nice guy again. MVP and Finlay go to the mat to start with Finlay grabbing a snap suplex for one. Finlay chokes away a bit before handing it off to Show and Henry. Show knocks him down with a shoulder so MVP comes in to be powered straight into the corner. It’s back to Finlay, who has to deal with an invading Henry, allowing MVP to kick him to the floor.

Back in and MVP fires off some forearms to the head. Henry adds a few shots of his own before handing it back to MVP. This time Finlay avoids a charge and brings Show back in as everything breaks down. Finlay low bridges Henry to the floor, leaving MVP to get chokeslammed for the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad here, with MVP vs. Finlay being a nice feud and Show vs. Henry being there for the monster showdown appeal. I do appreciate it when they throw something new out there, as MVP and Finlay makes for a fresh match. You never know when you might find something that works and I could go for the two of them having a longer match.

Vickie Guerrero does not like being treated like this, so she’s making it La Familia vs. Undertaker tonight.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Funaki

The fans chant USA as Kozlov takes him down by the arm and cranks away. More cranking ensues as Funaki is on his feet, where some kicks to the ribs don’t do much. Kozlov knocks him down again and hits the reverse DDT for the win. More dominance, but at least it was against a bigger name.

Cherry vs. Maryse

Deuce N Domino are here with Maryse, who shoves Cherry in the face to start. A neckbreaker gives Cherry a quick two and a rollup is good for the same. Maryse grabs a cravate but Cherry forearms her in the face. A bulldog gives Cherry the upset (I think?) pin.

Video on HHH vs. Randy Orton.

Judgment Day rundown.

Kofi Kingston (with Eve Torres for some reason) shows respect to Matt Hardy when Shelton Benjamin comes in. Benjamin isn’t impressed but Matt brings up that the Gold Standard doesn’t have any gold. And no the bad hair doesn’t count.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. A running shoulder gives Shelton two and he grabs the quickly broken armbar. As Foley talks about Pennsylvania amusement parks, Benjamin takes him into the corner and backdrops him out. Benjamin gets two off a backbreaker and we hit the seated abdominal stretch. Matt fights up but a double leg and headbutt to the ribs cuts him back down. The bodyscissors goes on but Matt fights up for a Side Effect. Benjamin’s Dragon Whip connects but Matt is right back with a Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. Another perfectly watchable match here that had a bit of time. Matt continues to rack up victories, which make him feel like that much stronger of a champion. At the same time, that whole Gold Standard idea continues to feel like one of the worst possible moves, as Shelton’s downward spiral continues.

We recap the opening segment.

Undertaker vs. La Familia

Actually hold on as Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely walk out (apparently over not being in on last week’s scheme). Vickie is so terrified that even Mick Foley thinks this might be going too far. Edge and the Edgeheads swarm Undertaker at once but Undertaker fires the heads into the corner. The two of them come back to save Edge, who is playing defense in front of Vickie. The triple teaming puts Undertaker down, where his attempt at the choke is broken up. Undertaker fights up and sends the three of them to the floor before grabbing Vickie by the throat. Edge makes the save with the spear and the villains take the countout.

Rating: C-. This was more of an angle than a match and not exactly a great one at that. They’re teasing the idea of Undertaker getting his revenge on Vickie but we’re probably a good ways off from that actually happening. For now, we’ll have to settle for Edge doing more hitting and running, as the (third) big showdown awaits on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C-. Much like this week’s Raw, most of the build towards Sunday was already done but in this case, there wasn’t much to see here. We’re getting a rematch in the main event plus Batista likely interfering in the Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho match. That isn’t much to go on, and it didn’t make for a good go home Smackdown on the way there.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – April 8, 2008: The Saving Grace

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 8, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are still starting the new reality around here, with Kane as the ECW Champion and CM Punk as the star who is way too big for this show. Other than that, we have the continuing adventures of Colin Delaney, who is still trying to get a contract. That hasn’t been going well for him and odds are it doesn’t get better this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Miz vs. CM Punk

John Morrison is on commentary. Punk grabs a headlock to start and runs him over with a shoulder to start. Back up and Miz hits his own shoulder, only to have his leg tied up for some hard cranking. Punk gets sent outside though and Miz drives him back first into the apron. Morrison gets caught interfering and gets ejected as Miz grabs a chinlock.

We take a break and come back with Miz snapping Punk’s throat across the middle rope for two. Punk gets out of the double arm crank without much trouble but Miz pulls him into a reverse chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown, followed by Punk making the comeback. The powerslam gives Punk two and it’s the running knee in the corner into the GTS for the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. Punk continues to feel like the biggest star in ECW but Miz has improved by leaps and bounds. He still isn’t exactly polished but he can wrestle a completely watchable match. You can see the effort that he has put in and it is starting to pay off. Just find some actual challenges to go after he and Morrison and you might be on to something.

Colin Delaney and Tommy Dreamer come up to Armando Estrada to ask about Delaney getting a contract. Estrada says sure….if Delaney can beat Dreamer tonight. Oh and if Dreamer goes easy on him in any way or loses, he’s fired. Neither seems pleased.

Here is Armando Estrada in the ring for the Kane/Chavo Guerrero contract signing at Backlash. Guerrero, with the Edgeheads, comes out first, with Kane following. Kane goes to sign first, but Chavo says that means signing away the title. That makes Kane laugh as he signs, but Chavo says he’ll have someone watching his back at Backlash. Cue a bald man in a suit to start the brawl, including a belt shot to Kane. The beatdown is on and Chavo frog splashes Kane through the table. Now Chavo signs.

Elijah Burke vs. Nunzio

Burke works on the arm to start and sends him face first into the apron to keep Nunzio rocked. A hard shot to the face sets up the running crotch attack to the back of Nunzio’s head. There’s a middle rope forearm into a release German suplex before an STO finishes Nunzio off. Total squash.

Kofi Kingston vs. Domino

No Deuce or Cherry here. Before the match, Kofi talks about having a good time in the ring and bringing the good vibrations. Domino even wrestles without his shirt to really make things different. Kofi slides between the legs and takes him down, setting up the armdrag into the armbar. It works so well that Kofi does it again before sending him into the corner. Domino manages a faceplant out of the corner (kind of a reverse powerbomb) for two, followed by a knee to Kofi’s face. The chinlock goes on but Kofi fights out and hits his jumping back elbow. Domino ducks a crossbody but charges into Trouble in Paradise for the pin.

Rating: C. Kofi is still building himself up but this was a win over a slightly bigger name. You need to do something like this over the months as Kingston needs to move up the ladder. He still needs a lot more than beating Domino, but you can tell that WWE is paying attention to him and sees something there.

Eve Torres is in the back with Kelly Kelly when Layla comes in. Layla says there is room for one Diva Search winner around here. She is the top Diva around here and Eve needs to learn that. This stuff continues to be bad.

Colin Delaney vs. Tommy Dreamer

Basically only the winner has a job and Armando Estrada is at ringside. Dreamer wrestles him to the mat to start and grabs a slam. The elbow misses though as they are firmly in first gear here. Delaney gets in a shot or two before low bridging Dreamer to the floor. There’s the slingshot dive and a slingshot hilo gets two on Dreamer back inside. Dreamer grabs some kind of a reverse suplex and avoids a missile dropkick to send Delaney crashing down. The Tree of Woe dropkick sets up the DDT to finish Delaney.

Rating: C-. There was a story here with Delaney wanting a contract and Dreamer having to beat him up despite not wanting to. The problem though is the Delaney matches are only so good as he can’t do much in the ring and is mainly getting squashed. Delaney got in a little more than usual here, but it is still only going so well. They need to go somewhere with this, as I don’t know how much fuel this version has left.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a lackluster show here, as there is only so much that you can get out of this roster. Kane is a star and Kofi feels like he is on the way up, but then you have whatever is left of Elijah Burke, Chavo Guerrero and a somewhat out the door CM Punk. That isn’t going to make for the best show, with the hour long run time being this show’s saving grace.

 

 

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Smackdown – March 21, 2008: GET ON WITH IT!

Smackdown
Date: March 21, 2008
Location: Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’re almost to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what else there is to build around here. Last week’s main event was a weird combination of a Raw and Smackdown match which felt like a weird off ramp match. Odd are the focus will still be on Edge vs. Undertaker, which really doesn’t need it at this point. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recreation of Batista vs. Umaga in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Well that’s a change of pace.

Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

No Cherry this week as she is in the competition later tonight. Batista doesn’t look amused as he drives Deuce into the corner to start. A double team manages to take Batista down but he’s right back with an elbow to Domino’s face. Batista isn’t having that though and sends Deuce outside, setting up the Batista Bomb to finish Domino in a hurry.

Maryse comes up to see Cherry and can’t believe she’s still in the Divas competition. Look at the two of them: Maryse is a Diva but Cherry is a dog.

It’s time for the Divas Competition with Michelle McCool, Eve Torres, Cherry and Victoria left. This week’s competition is an arm wrestling contest so Victoria cheats to beat Eve, Michelle beats Cherry and Michelle beats Victoria. With that out of the way, Victoria is eliminated after last week’s fan vote. Instead of leaving, she gets in a fight with Michelle but gets sent outside.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Michael Buffer and Evander Holyfield talk about Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Big Show vs. Chase Stevens/Andy Douglas/Luke Hawx

Stevens and Douglas were the Naturals in TNA a few years earlier. Before the match, we see Chris Jericho talking about how Show’s right hand is going to make it Wrestlemania RIP for Mayweather. Destruction ensues and the big right hand finishes Stevens in less than a minute and a half.

Raven Symone will be bringing kids to Wrestlemania for Make-A-Wish. Cool.

Edge vs. Funaki

Non-title and the Edgeheads are here with Edge. Funaki seems to be taking this a bit more seriously than Edge, who knocks Funaki down fast. The stomping in the corner keeps Funaki in trouble until he manages an enziguri. Edge hits the spear but pulls Funaki up at two. Instead it’s a Tombstone and arm cross pin (with tongue) to finish for Edge.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick workout for Edge but the Tombstone was a nice touch. Edge knows how to get under people’s skin like no other and mocking Undertaker is the kind of mind game that he would play. Funaki is fine for something like this and they didn’t mess around by letting him get a near fall or anything unnecessary like that. Nothing match, fine use of time.

Post match Edge says he’ll win at Wrestlemania and promises to show us something by the end of the night.

It’s time for MVP’s VIP Lounge with MVP pointing to the Money in the Bank briefcase above the ring. Therefore, his guest this week is Chris Jericho, but first MVP wants to talk about the ladder underneath the briefcase. MVP brags about his career successes and how he has beaten so many World Champions. That means he is the next World Champion because he is better than everyone else in the match. Cue Jericho to interrupt and the fans certainly seem to approve.

Jericho is excited about being back on Smackdown for the first time in five and a half years, but he can’t stand a loudmouthed blowhard who can’t shut up with his own talk show. MVP mocks Jericho and Jericho is right back, pointing out that MVP could have had far worse initials (and yes, he has graphics spelling out some stupid names). That’s too far for MVP, who goes on a rant about how Jericho couldn’t save anyone from anything. He climbs the ladder and gets the briefcase….so Jericho turns said ladder over.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

They fight over the power to start with Palumbo actually taking over off an armbar. Kane fights up and hits the big boot as they head outside. They head back in, where Kane clotheslines him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane charging into an elbow in the corner…and here is Great Khali to go after Kane for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Thankfully they didn’t bother trying to make Palumbo a thing here as he stopped showing much potential a good while ago. Kane winning the battle royal and the ECW Title as a result would make good sense and there is a real chance that is where they are heading. Not much of a match, but what were you expecting with Palumbo in there?

Post match Khali beats both of them down but here is Mark Henry to interrupt. Henry World’s Strongest Slams Khali and stands tall.

Eddie Graham Hall of Fame video.

Tag Team Titles: Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz/Morrison are defending. The bell makes Festus snap and he hits Morrison in the face to start fast. An interfering Miz is knocked out of the air and some headbutts to Morrison’s back set up Jesse’s running neckbreaker. Miz gets in a cheap shot though and works on Jesse’s arm before choking on the rope.

Morrison’s chinlock is broken up as Jesse sends him into the corner, where Festus scares Morrison in a funny bit. Miz grabs another chinlock before Jesse neckbreakers his way out of Morrison’s….something. It’s back to Festus for the house cleaning before handing it off to Jesse again. That lets Morrison send Festus outside and the Reality Check retains the titles.

Rating: C-. We’re now to the point where Miz and Morrison have cleaned out the division, which granted doesn’t take that long when there are about four teams. Jesse & Festus need to either win the titles or find something else to do, as the novelty is kind of wearing off. This was mainly a chinlock match with Festus coming in to do his thing and then Jesse gets pinned. That’s only going to get you so far and we have reached that point.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Edge/the Edgeheads are here with Chavo. Undertaker starts fast and knocks Chavo down without much trouble. Old School connects and Chavo is rocked early on. A distraction from the floor lets Chavo hammer away in the corner, only to have Undertaker LAUNCH him into said corner as well.

The side slam gives Undertaker two but another distraction sends him outside. This time Chavo manages a baseball slide from behind and the likely not very effective beating begins. Chavo grabs a short armscissors but Undertaker powers out in short order. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up a chokeslam and the Hell’s Gate to finish Chavo.

Rating: C. Chavo has to lose the title at Wrestlemania now as his big win in recent weeks has been over Colin Delaney. Other than giving him a win to make him into something a little bigger, his title reign has been pretty much nothing and that was on display here. Undertaker beating Chavo isn’t a bad thing, but the champ just lost in about five minutes in little more than a squash.

Post match Edge and the Edgeheads come in, each with a chair, and the huge beatdown ensues. The Conchairto leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s not a good sign when the best match on the show is Undertaker squashing Chavo Guerrero. The problem is the same as it has been for weeks now: Wrestlemania is set and all that Smackdown can do is fill in time on the way to Orlando. This show was just a bunch of filler with some build towards Wrestlemania, plus the bigger moment at the end. That’s a rough two hours, but none of that is going to matter nine days from now. Not a good show, but it doesn’t mean a thing anyway.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – March 14, 2008: They’re Veering Off

Smackdown
Date: March 14, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,121
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and the focus continues to be on Edge vs. the Undertaker. This time though, Edge is veering off to team with the Edgeheads against Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair in a cage match. That’s certainly a unique enough one to go with so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is hometown girl Maria to get things going. She is excited for Bunnymania but tonight, she is hosting the Smackdown Divas Contest so here are the rest of the women. We waste no time in eliminating Maryse, meaning it’s time for this week’s contest. All four of the remaining women (Eve Torres, Michelle McCool, Cherry, Victoria) run the course….with time not counting, because the fan vote decides who is eliminated anyway. McCool wins as at least this was short.

Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels are ready for the main event.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Show shoves them down without much trouble and tosses Yang into Moore in the corner. The chops rock Moore again and Yang gets tossed so hard that he almost spins around. The big right hand pins Moore in a hurry.

Post match Show tosses Yang ala Floyd Mayweather Jr. on Raw.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: John Morrison vs. The Miz

Morrison doesn’t waste time by grabbing a rollup for a fast two. Back up and Miz hits a middle rope clothesline for one and it’s time for Morrison to bail to the floor. Miz cranks on a headlock before forearming away. That’s fine with Morrison, who sweeps the legs into a jackknife rollup for two more. The flipping neckbreaker is blocked though and Miz faceplants him for two of his own. Morrison isn’t pleased and pops back up with the flipping neckbreaker to finish Miz off.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here and that is about all you could expect from them. Miz isn’t that far along (though he’s coming) and Morrison is the bigger and more successful star. No one would buy Miz as a threat to win the briefcase and while Morrison isn’t that much better of an option, he’s the better option than Miz at the moment.

Video on JBL vs. Finlay, leading to their Belfast Brawl at Wrestlemania.

Finlay joins us via satellite, saying there are no words to describe what it’s like to look at Hornswoggle in his hospital bed. At Wrestlemania, there will be no words to describe the beating he is going to give JBL.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending and this is no holds barred. They go nose to nose to start until MVP bails to the floor to avoid a charge. Back in and Batista sends him face first into the buckle before a big kick to the chest gets two. An elbow to the head gives Batista two more but MVP is right back up with an overhead belly to belly of all things. MVP gets smart by hitting him in the face with a chain and then chokes away with it back inside.

Batista breaks that up so MVP tears off a buckle pad, only to walk into a spinebuster. It’s too early for Batista to follow up though and MVP gets in a chair shot to the ribs. They go outside with MVP being sent into the barricade and Batista being sent into the post. A low blow gives MVP a needed breather and there’s a running boot to the face as we take a break.

Back with both of them still down on the floor until Batista has to spear a chair out of MVP’s hands. That doesn’t keep MVP down very long though as he chairs Batista in the leg to take over again. MVP takes too long (common theme in this one) peeling back the ring mats though and now it’s Batista getting in his own chair shot. Back in and MVP sends him face first into the exposed buckle to knock Batista silly. For some reason MVP goes up with the chair, allowing Batista to get up. Not that it matters though as cue Umaga to Samoan Spike Batista down, allowing MVP to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This should be it for the feud as Batista now has an even bigger reason to focus on Umaga and Wrestlemania. The ending was the logical way to go as you need to keep Batista strong and MVP…well he’s lost so many times already that it’s hard to believe that there is much left for his reign anyway. What matters here is they wrapped up one feud and moved on to another and at least MVP got a pin for once.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Kane/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo slugs away at Kane to start, which goes about as well as you are probably imagining. Noble, with his bad ribs, comes in and is quickly dropped, allowing Khali to come in and go after the ribs. Some shots to Khali have no effect but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot from the apron anyway. The chokebomb finishes Noble fast.

The cage is lowered.

The Brisco Brothers are going into the Hall Of Fame.

Ric Flair/Shawn Michaels vs. Edge/Edgeheads

In a cage with escape only rules. Hold on though as here is Vickie Guerrero to say we’re adding in someone else. Cue Chavo Guerrero and this is going to be 4-2. We’re joined in progress with the big fight on and Edge spears Flair down to make the numbers game even worse. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes and there’s a spear against the cage or him too.

That leaves him to see an already bloody Flair get rammed into the cage but Shawn is untied and stomped in the corner. Flair manages a few right hands but Edge rakes him face first into the cage. Shawn fights up and Flair does the same, only to have Shawn get tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear from Edge. Somehow Flair chops away at Edge and the Edgeheads and Shawn manages to knock a diving Chavo out of the air.

A low blow drops Edge and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up. The villains are sent into the cage over and over and there’s the top rope elbow to Hawkins. Edge spears Chavo by mistake and the double Figure Fours go on. Chavo breaks them up with a double frog splash….and Undertaker is here. Undertaker goes after Edge but a distraction lets him escape the cage for the win.

Rating: C. This was weird as it didn’t really do anything other than put a bunch of people in the cage at once before Undertaker popped in to give them an ending. It felt like they just said “oh do whatever” and moved on, which doesn’t make for the most interesting of matches. That being said, it’s more interesting than a regular tag match and I guess Flair’s loss doesn’t count because he wasn’t directly beaten?

Overall Rating: C. We seem to be entering into the portion of the Wrestlemania build where they have everything set and just need to focus on that instead of anything new. That doesn’t make for the most interesting show, but it’s nice to have a plan and then go forward with it. With only two weeks to go before Wrestlemania, we could be in for some very different shows, but that doesn’t mean they’re all going to be thrilling.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – March 7, 2008: Go The Other Way

Smackdown
Date: March 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Wrestlemania is less than a month away and that means we should be seeing some of the lower level matches starting to come together. Most of the card is already set with Undertaker vs. Edge feeling like a huge match. Other than that we have Batista vs. Umaga in a Raw vs. Smackdown match and Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a match that could go on either show. We’ll need more than that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vickie Guerrero and Edge, with Teddy Long in the corner, on the Cutting Edge. After praising Vickie, Edge talks about how he has never lost to Undertaker, making him the real Phenom. Vickie makes Edge/the Edgeheads vs. Undertaker for tonight, which Edge finds very hot. With that out of the way, there is someone else who is going to be losing his 35 year career at Wrestlemania.

That brings us to tonight’s guest, so here is Ric Flair. Edge welcomes him to the show but wants to know what it’s going to be like when Flair loses at Wrestlemania. Flair promises to beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania but Edge doesn’t exactly sound convinced. Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Flair: “Your fans are talking to her.” Edge asks Flair about losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, which Flair says is something you never forget.

Losing to Undertaker didn’t hurt his career, but he came at it differently. Edge is the one with a sham of a relationship, which sends Vickie into a rant. After calming her down, Edge says Flair needs to watch the handicap match tonight, because he’ll have his own next week. Oh and let’s make that a cage match. Edge WOOs in his face but gets slapped, with Flair bailing from violence.

CM Punk/Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero

That’s quite the good guy team. Festus clears the ring at the bell until we settle down with Miz vs. Punk to start. Miz manages a quick hot shot and brings in Chavo, who gets backdropped just as fast. Jesse comes in for a backdrop and basement dropkick but Morrison shoves him off the top. This has Festus ready to smash but we take a break instead (probably a good idea).

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on Jesse’s arm. That doesn’t last long either as Jesse slips away and hands it off to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down with Jesse and Punk hitting dives onto Morrison and Chavo. Back in and the fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. What else were you expecting here? The good thing is that we didn’t have to sit through too much more of Chavo vs. Punk, as that is a match that has been driven into the ground in recent weeks. Other than that, Miz and Morrison get beaten again, even if it is from a team that is little more than a one off idea. Just find some more interesting challengers for both titles. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Jamie Noble is in the back with Michelle McCool and says he knows she has a thing for him. Noble gets it, but he’s a one woman man. She’s ok with it, and seem to have thought the same thing as Noble.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending. They fight over a lockup to start with Batista powering him outside without much trouble. Back in and Batista knocks him outside again, though this time he follows him out to keep up the beating. They get back in with Batista starting in on the leg for a change, including a half crab. That’s enough for MVP to bail to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting a running corner clothesline but MVP kicks the leg out. A running boot to the head, with the bad leg, gives MVP a bit of a desperation two and we hit the chinlock. Another kick to the leg takes Batista back down and a facebuster, on the bad knee, gives MVP a delayed two. It might not sound logical, but commentary is selling the idea that MVP is desperate to fight Batista so it does make some sense.

MVP kicks him out to the floor for another two and we’re off to a leglock to keep Batista down. Back up and MVP misses the running boot in the corner, allowing Batista to come back with the swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The spinebuster crushes MVP, whose low blow is blocked without much effort. They fight outside with Batista keeping up the beating, but MVP kicks him into the announcers’ table and beats the count to win.

Rating: C+. Well, at least MVP didn’t lose again. This screams setup for another match, hopefully where MVP can retain the title by pinning Batista, likely through some kind of shenanigans. These two got some time here and it was a decent match, though Batista in the US Title scene feels so out of place and it’s hard to fathom in a lot of ways.

We look at Hornswoggle being beaten down again.

Jamie Noble interrupts Edge and Vickie Guerrero, saying he wants a match with Chuck Palumbo. Vickie is annoyed so she gives him Big Show instead.

Mae Young Hall Of Fame video.

Kim Kardashian will be the guest hostess at Wrestlemania.

And now, a Divas swimsuit contest, featuring Eve Torres, Cherry, Maryse, Michelle McCool and Victoria. Apparently this is the first week of a four week competition to determine the Top Diva on Smackdown with one woman being eliminated each week. Not only will the winner get bragging rights but they will also win a….custom motorcycle? They all disrobe (Cherry looks nervous and Victoria dances badly) and we get the results next week because this is another Diva Search style contest. Oh and a fight breaks out because of course it does.

Video on Rey Mysterio being injured and having to undergo bicep surgery.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Palumbo is back with some right hands of his own. A clothesline gives Palumbo two but Kane grabs the side slam. Palumbo tries to headbutt his way out of the chokeslam, only to get chokeslammed for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Palumbo was trying here but we are way beyond the point of him meaning anything. The feud with Jamie Noble worked for a little while and then just went on for so much longer than it needed to that it killed any momentum. Kane is getting back on a roll and there is no reason to have him be in any major threat from Palumbo here.

Big Show vs. Jamie Noble

Show throws him into the corner and gets kicked low for the DQ in short order.

Show shrugs it off and chops Noble down before promising to end Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s career at Wrestlemania.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Edge/Edgeheads

Undertaker beats up Hawkins to start and throws him into the corner, allowing Ryder to come in and get beaten down as well. Edge certainly seems nervous as Undertaker kicks Ryder in the head. A cheap shot cuts Undertaker off though and Edge gets to hammer away for a bit. The Edgeheads take turns splashing Undertaker but Edge’s swinging neckbreaker is countered into a DDT. Old School is loaded up but a distraction means that it has to be switched into a top rope armdrag (ok then). The Edgeheads distract Undertaker again though and Edge hits the spear for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was quick and to the point here but at least Edge finally got something over on Undertaker. You can only have Undertaker beat him up every week for so long before it stops having any real impact. There is almost no way that Undertaker is leaving Wrestlemania without the title, but at least they are putting on a good story on the way there.

Edge and Undertaker glare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were going up and down this week and that wasn’t the most thrilling show. Undertaker vs. Edge is good and Batista vs. MVP, while not a long term story, is doing well enough, but stuff like the women fighting over a motorcycle isn’t exactly thrilling. Get rid of some of the lame parts and the better portions can take over.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Over The Limit 2010: When Punk Gets Mad

Note that this was written live in 2010 and the quality is far, far below what I would have today.  I apologize in advance.

Over the Limit 2010
Date: May 23, 2010
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It seems like we’re STILL on the same angles as we were on at Mania. I’m not sure if that’s good or not. Allegedly tonight is Batista’s last or one of his last appearances with WWE. I’m not so sure if that’s the case or not but with the gimmick match tonight, it’s certainly possible. Also on the card tonight we have Swagger vs. Big Show in a match I truly can’t predict but on instinct it’s Swagger. That all being said, let’s get to it.

We have a Spanish announce team. That’s rather odd for this day and age.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

Could Drew’s music be sweeter? So remember the idea here is that Drew got stripped of the belt and Kofi won a tournament for it. Drew got it put back on him because Vince likes him. This is the big showdown for it I guess. Drew jumps him early as Striker thinks we need to know that it’s been eleven years since the title has changed hands in Detroit. Ok then. The fans are all over Drew who is dominating early.

Apparently most people don’t like working with him which is odd. I guess you can tell more when you’re in the ring though. That makes more sense at least. Smackdown has definitely been having the better in ring stuff lately and this shouldn’t be an exception. Drew does one of those idiotic spots where he jumps into Kofi’s feet when he puts them up. What the heck was that supposed to be? The set might look cool but I can’t tell.

There’s this weird kind of spotlight thing going on from the end of the arena behind the announcers. It’s rather odd and looks like 6 lights coming off of it. Boom Drop in the corner of all places hits. Ok then. Trouble in Paradise misses and the SOS gets a clean pin. Wow did not see that one coming.

Post match Drew gets on the mic and says the show doesn’t keep going until he’s declared champion by Teddy Long. Instead we get Matt Hardy to an ERUPTION. Seriously it’s been like two weeks not 4 months. Twist of Fate puts Drew down.

Rating: B-. Not bad for an opener I guess. Kofi winning is kind of a surprise but I’d bet on Drew being pushed higher up on the card or into something against Christian or someone like that. Anyway, Kofi doesn’t need the title really, but then again neither does McIntyre. This worked well enough I guess and wasn’t bad at all. Not up to their TV stuff but not bad at all.

Punk is looking in a mirror and says he’s awesome. Tonight Mysterio goes straightedge. Luke hugs him which is kind of awkward.

We recap Ted DiBiase vs. R-Truth. This is a simple but effective feud. What more can you ask for? In short, Ted wanted Truth to be his Virgil.

Ted DiBiase vs. R-Truth

Truth’s entrance is awesome. I’m not a fan of him but I have to give him that one. The real Virgil is here with him instead. You can’t beat that for old school guys. Striker says rich people are better. Amen to that brother man. We even get a Virgil chant. WOW. Cole says that DiBiase paid a couple of guys a few weeks ago to take out R-Truth. One was Carlito. That’s rather amusing.

We get a Harley Race impression from about 1983 and the bounty to take out Flair. I love obscure references like that. Truth busts out a Downward Spiral. I hate that move. Virgil looks more or less exactly the same as he used to. That’s either really impressive or bad. This is really sloppy. Truth…kind of hits the Lie Detector (spinning forearm) for the clean pin. That was bad. Virgil gets the Million Dollar Belt and tries to wake up DiBiase, despite the forearm grazing him at best.

Rating: D. Not very good and just SLOPPY. The stuff came off as weak looking and just all over the place. I didn’t like what I was seeing and the Truth pin just came off as from out of nowhere, which isn’t bad I guess.

Drew goes into Teddy’s office and says change the decision. Drew destroys the office and a picture of Martin Luther King. Never mind as he doesn’t wreck the picture.

We recap the Punk/Rey feud. More or less, Punk wants Rey in the SES. Rey says they’re hypocrites. This is one of the matches I have no clue on, which is the point I guess.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

All outside parties are banned here, which makes me think Masked Man messing things up somehow. Rey is in yellow tonight which makes him look stupider than usual somehow. Punk jumps him to start. That’s my boy. We get into a semi-Master/Slave dialectic from Lawler. That was bizarre but an essay on that got me through a college class. In a SICK spot, Rey gets thrown into the barber’s chair at ringside. That seriously HURT.

Punk is cut open too so they have to stop the blood flow. Can we get Linda in the Senate already? Rey looks at something under his wrist tape for some reason. The match stops for like three minutes because of this. We get an EPIC boring chant and Punk goes off. Seriously, a trickle of blood is ok. Stopping a PPV for that long because of a cut like that is idiotic. I’ve never seen Punk snap like that and I loved it.

Rey hits a sunset flip powerbomb for two. They crank it up and they both get a bunch of near falls. We get some weird dueling chants that I can’t quite make out. GTS of course doesn’t work. Punk gets a corner powerbomb though. Nice one. Punk kicks Rey’s head off. GTS is reversed again and Rey hits the 619. Springboard Splash misses though and this is a good match.

And then we get the same pin that HHH beat Jeff Hardy with at some PPV where Rey rolls him up off a sloppy pin. I hate Vince. Punk is busted open again. Here comes Gallows and Serena and I hope I don’t know what’s coming. They have handcuffs. And here’s….KANE? What the HECK? Punk is handcuffed and gets his hair cut. I hate WWE sometimes. I truly do.

Rating: B+. I really liked this match. I hate the booking, but the in ring stuff was great. There were all kinds of great back and forth things going on here with the great near falls. I can’t blame them for the cut thing as that’s a company decision. Also Punk just going OFF after that was great.

Ad for Fatal Fourway with all championships being in the title of the show style of matches.

Jericho makes fun of Show and Miz sneaks up on him which doesn’t work. Show threatens to know Jericho out, wake him up and knock him out again. This was funny.

And now let’s have a trailer for Prince of Persia.

Unified Tag Titles: Hart Dynasty vs. Chris Jericho/The Miz

There’s not much to say here at all. It’s not bad but it’s ok I guess. Natalya is solid as a manager. They say that on Monday when Hart won the US Title he was in his homeland. They make it sound like he came from an island nation with like four people on it. It’s a very standard tag match which is both good and bad I suppose. Kidd takes the Walls and the Codebreaker off a springboard. It just wasn’t a very good one. Somehow that only gets two. Wow.

Jericho goes off and yells at Kidd to stay down. That was kind of amusing. We’re getting a lot of near falls here. Miz and Jericho yell at the referee A LOT. Natalya trips Jericho and Smith hits the powerslam for the LONG two. This started slow but has gotten a lot better.

Skull Crushing Finale is blocked but Miz gets a rollup and the tights for two. VERY good match here. I’m very surprised. Miz does his running clothesline into the corner but Smith catches him to set up the Hart Attack. NICE match with a SWEET ending.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I expected to. Like I said it started slow but it picked WAY up soon after that. The clean retaining surprised me very much actually but it’s certainly a good thing. They needed that for some credibility and I’ve very glad they didn’t do the switch to another random tag team. Nice match and a very pleasant surprise.

We recap Edge vs. Orton which is just that Edge turned heel again and had a great segment on Raw to set this up. This is the most hyped show on the card. Not sure if it’s going to live up to it. I doubt it will actually.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

They try to talk down the pop that Orton gets for no apparent reason. Orton goes for no tape again which is his new look I guess. Nothing wrong with that. Orton dominates early as would be expected I guess. Edge takes ove and the match is decent enough I guess. Edge hooks a body scissors and the fans think it’s boring. Orton reacts and counters with elbows to get a HUGE RKO chant going. Orton hits the elevated DDT to a huge pop.

The lack of tape thing is working for me. Spear is blocked by a kick. This crowd is NUTS for Orton but his arm is hurt from earlier. Hey we got some psychology in there! Orton might be legit hurt. Yeah he must be. We go to the floor and Edge misses a spear. This has to be legit. At least I think it is. Oh dear.

Rating: C-. What we got is what I’m grading it on as it’s pretty clear that wasn’t the planned ending. Orton was doing his mat slap thing and just stopped dead. Also no way that was going to end in a double count out. Until then it wasn’t that good but it did ok.

We recap Swagger vs. Show which you can read the Smackdown review if you want the story on.

Smackdown World Title: Jack Swagger vs. Big Show

This is another one where I don’t know how it’s going to end. Show uses some wrestling here and Swagger’s look is great. SHOW DOES PUSHUPS! Somebody get that boy a Twinkie before he passes out! Swagger goes for the leg and that doesn’t work. Show keeps coming back. After some boring stuff, Show sets for the chokeslam…..and Swagger blasts him in the head with the belt for the intentional DQ. WOW.

Well they went old school with that so I can’t complain. Two belt shots and Show gets up. A chair shot doesn’t work either and Swagger takes a chokeslam. So the world champion can’t put a guy down with two belt shots and a chair. Right. Show drops him with a punch again. Pay no attention to Swagger opening his eyes to make sure things are going right.

Rating: D. It was short and the ending completely sucked. Swagger looks weak after losing to Kofi on Monday. He’s also lost to Morrison and Orton. Is there a point to him being champion? Yes he’s champion, but he’s another weak champion. It’s a good bit annoying but that’s WWE for you. They’ve been awesome lately so I can’t complain much I guess.

We recap Batista vs. Cena and Batista says he’ll make Cena say he quits.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Eve Torres

This is better than I’d expect it to be actually. This has gotten some great build over the past few weeks and due to a lack of matches they have to give it a lot of time. Maryse randomly starts crying for no adequately explained reason. We actually get some near falls. Eve hits some messed up face plant into a rollup for the pin. Cole, Striker and Lawler make jokes about Eve and just lose it on commentary.

Rating: C-. For what you had to work with here and given what Divas matches tend to be, this was actually decent. I tend to start most Divas matches at a D or so, meaning this was pretty good. There was some actual drama and Eve won with a nice finisher. Solid little match.

We recap Batista vs. Cena which is about 3 months old now. Mainly it’s about Batista being mad about getting Duct-Taped to the post to lose last time.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

Batista has a mic and asks Cena if he wants to quit right now. Batista says the words I Quit but for some reason that’s not the end of the match. Cena of course blasts him with the mic. He has a chair within seconds. Some hero eh? Cena gets the split chants again. You can’t argue the guy gets people talking. The problem here is you don’t have to watch the first 20 minutes or so here as nothing is going to happen.

Batista hits the spear if you want to call it that. The fans are awesome tonight. Batista hooks his Rings of Saturn kind of thing but puts far less pressure on it. Cena stands up to get out of it and there’s the STFU. Ropes don’t count for breaks here. Batista passes out in the hold. Some animal indeed. In Austin vs. hart that would be enough. Not here I guess though. Cena gets some water and wakes him up. Ok, now HOOK THE HOLD AGAIN.

Cena won’t quit off a spinebuster. So Batista takes about 9 hours to set up the two tables on the floor and Cena just lets him. I can’t say I blame him though as it’s a breather for him. Batista gets a powerslam through one of the tables and Cena is cut BAD. Let’s get an EMT out there as we can’t have blood in an anything goes match! This is idiotic. We head into the crowd for a bit now and walk forever.

I guess they wanted to get away from the doctors. Cena is told to quit or he’ll be thrown over. Cena has to answer apparently. Or what? He’ll get water thrown on him? Idiotic line if there ever was one. Cena fights out of it and they fight on the barrier up there. Dangerous looking spot and Batista falls all of 6 feet onto some people. Shockingly, that doesn’t end it. I’m glad as if they didn’t it would have sucked to say the least.

They fight up to the entrance near some cars. I wonder if that’s how it ends. Cena won’t quit and the crowd POPS. Batista gets in a car which of course has the keys in the ignition and he runs into Cena and the set which shoots off some sparks. Apparently he didn’t hit Cena as he’s up and fighting. Striker says Cena had to have moved since there’s no other way to explain that. FU onto a 78 Camaro and he won’t quit.

Cena grabs the mic and says he was really hoping Batista would say that. They go on top of the car and Batista quits to avoid the massive FU. Of course he gets it anyway and goes through the stage. Post match Cena celebrates and the graphic in the corner pops up and they say good night but Sheamus kicks his head off as he turns around to really end it. I like that.

Rating: B. This was good. I don’t think anyone believed Cena was going to lose here which is fine. He went over as strong as possible and Batista looks like a defeated man if that’s the end of his run with the company. Either way this was a solid match and a solid way to end the show. It was over the top but that’s fine. Now, KEEP THEM APART.

Overall Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. And before anyone jumps on me and says I overreacted to Punk/Rey, heck yes I did. I don’t like Rey and Punk is my favorite wrestler. It’s part of being a fan so shut up with the whole biased arguments. Heck yes I’m biased. Anyway, this show just wasn’t very good.

The best way I can put it is unnecessary. This show was unnecessary. Nothing of major note happened other than Punk and Rey. There was some solid wrestling on the show, but there was just too much that didn’t work for me. Having literally no heels win is just a weird thing to do. This show isn’t as bad as people are saying, but it wasn’t good.

 

 

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Smackdown – February 29, 2008: When Great Khali Has Match Of The Night

Smackdown
Date: February 29, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We are just over a month away from Wrestlemania XXIV and most of the top of the card is set. That means that the following weeks can be for a mixture of firming up the main events and building up the lower half of the card. That can include quite a few things and we’ll start this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Wrestlemania press conference.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Joey Ryans/Jay Garland

Ryans is….well I think you can guess and this is Show’s first WWE match in over a year. We hear about Show wanting to be a boxer but not being able to get anyone to take his fights. Garland gets chokeslammed and Ryans gets punched in the corner. A right hand knocks Ryans silly for the easy pin.

Post match Show talks about how Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be facing Oscar de la Hoya in September. It’s just a rumor, and Show is here to stop that rumor. Show is going to break everything in Mayweather, including his spirit. There isn’t going to be a Mayweather vs. de la Hoya fight, but Show vs. de la Hoya is possible. That $20 million that Mayweather is getting for the Wrestlemania match (right) isn’t going to be enough for the pain he’ll be experiencing.

Deuce N Domino vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Yang and Domino get things going with Domino missing an elbow drop so Yang can grab a headlock. Moore comes in and gets hit in the face a few times before headscissoring Domino into the corner. Back up and Domino sends Moore HARD out to the floor (that was a scary landing), setting up something like a seated abdominal stretch back inside.

Commentary argues about old westerns and whether Asians can be rednecks (oh dear) as Domino pulls Moore down by the hair and knocks Yang off the apron. Not that it matters as the hot tag goes through a few seconds later, with Yang getting to clean a few rooms. The moonsault press misses though and Cherry pulls Moore off the apron. That leaves Yang to slip out of a belly to back suplex and now the moonsault press can connect for the pin on Deuce.

Rating: C. I’m glad to see Yang and Moore sticking around a bit longer, as they have been a rather nice little bright spot between here and ECW. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for them in the long term, but at least they are doing something for the time being. Deuce N Domino….yeah how long were you expecting a greaser gimmick to last? Maybe having them actually do something as champions might have helped.

Edge and Vickie Guerrero make honeymoon plans, with Edge thinking Canada. Vickie loves Canadians but the Edgeheads interrupt their romance. That’s ok with Edge, who sends Zack Ryder after Undertaker tonight.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, AGAIN and Michelle McCool is here with Noble. Palumbo misses a charge into the corner and Noble strikes away before pulling on an armbar over the ropes. Back up and Palumbo dumps him to the floor without much effort but a McCool distraction breaks up whatever Palumbo has planned (probably some kind of wrestling move).

They head back inside with Palumbo hitting an overhead belly to belly superplex for two, leaving Palumbo stunned. Noble manages a Fujiwara armbar until the rope is grabbed, allowing Palumbo to hit a hard slam. An enziguri sends Palumbo into the corner for a Cannonball but he rakes Noble’s eyes across the top. The Overdrive finishes Noble off.

Rating: C. The more I watch these matches the more I believe WWE has just forgotten where they were going with the story but keep it going for lack of anything better for the two of them. Palumbo is still his old, not that interesting self and now Noble, who has been the good guy in the whole thing, is a loser. What else is there for these two to do? And it isn’t like McCool has gained anything either, making this quite the waste of time.

Vickie Guerrero is in the back with Teddy Long and Maryse, with the latter praising Vickie until Batista comes in. Batista has heard about this Raw vs. Smackdown challenge and wants to face Umaga. Maryse likes the idea (and maybe Batista) so Vickie sets the match.

Batista/Kane vs. MVP/Great Khali

Feels like they pressed the random button in Smackdown vs. Raw. Kane and Khali start things off with Khali pounding him into the corner. MVP comes in and gets backdropped, setting up the basement dropkick, which always feels weird from Kane. It’s off to Batista, who charges into an elbow in the corner.

Kane is right back in to big boot MVP down for two as commentary thinks we’ll be talking about the recent Elimination Chamber match for years to come. I wouldn’t get my hopes up on that one. The spinebuster plants MVP but Khali breaks up the Batista Bomb as we take an early break.

Back with Khali shoving Batista down and sending him outside without much trouble. Khali runs him over again back inside and actually covers for two, showing more mobility than usual. Batista gets over for the tag off to Kane to fire off on Khali in the corner. This lasts all of five seconds before Khali knocks him backwards. MVP comes in so Kane grabs him by the throat, earning a chop from Khali on the apron (makes sense).

The cravate doesn’t hold Kane down for very long as he powers up and slams MVP down for a breather. MVP cuts him off with a kick to the head though as this heat is getting some time. Kane finally knocks MVP down though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. Everything breaks down and Khali chops Batista right back down, only to have the Vice Grip reversed into the spinebuster. MVP makes the save so Batista spears Khali down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a near shockingly good match as they worked the formula and got some time, making it into a match where I wanted to see how it ended. What mattered the most here though was MVP didn’t take the fall, which had me worried throughout. Khali has nothing going on at the moment and thankfully WWE realized he should be taking the pin.

Eve Torres comes out to introduce High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson for the Hall of Fame, with the Rock inducting them. I get that she has to do something, but the Hall of Fame announcement (even one repeated from Raw) doesn’t feel exactly right for someone who has been around for all of a few months.

Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title but before the match, we get a clip from the Dirt Sheet with a completely genuine conversation between the teams, which makes Jesse & Festus sound a bit dumb. The bell rings and Festus jumps Miz and Morrison before sending the former into the corner for a running shot to the face.

A headbutt lets Jesse come in with a middle rope elbow and even knock Morrison off the apron. Miz gets smart by taking a breather on the floor and Jesse gets taken down back inside. That lasts all of a few seconds as an easy escape sets up the hot tag to Festus. House is cleaned and Festus sits on Morrison’s chest and grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. The champs lose again (after losing on ECW to Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney), which is far too common of a trope in WWE. At least Jesse and Festus are a bit better team, but it isn’t like they’re the next great thing. Other than the good looking flapjack, there wasn’t much to be seen here, especially after that rather awesome…Khali match?

Raw Rebound.

Big Daddy V vs. Balls Mahoney

Matt Striker is here with V. Mahoney gets beaten down to start and there’s the swinging Boss Man Slam. The corner splash and Samoan drop crush Mahoney….and there’s the Undertaker’s gong. The lights go out and Undertaker POWER WALKS to the ring (egads) to beat V outside. Mahoney gets chokeslammed too as it’s a no contest because DQ’s are passe or something.

Post match Undertaker says death waits for no man, so Edge needs to send his minion to Undertaker’s yard.

Undertaker vs. Zack Ryder

Edge and Curt Hawkins are here too. Ryder bails to the floor to start and a distraction lets him get in a few cheap shots. That earns Ryder a hard posting and there’s the kick to the side of the head. The beating continues back inside before Undertaker throws him over the top in a heap. Ryder tries to come in off the top but Hawkins has to save him from a chokeslam. Some right hands in the corner just annoy Undertaker so he throws Ryder into the corner to hammer away. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up the chokeslam and choke, which is enough to draw Edge in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. More or less a squash here for Undertaker and that’s all it needed to be. A heel like Edge has minions for a reason and Undertaker got to wreck one of them on the way to Wrestlemania. Ryder is nowhere near ready to be a challenge to Undertaker so this went as it should have gone. It doesn’t make it interesting, but it was logical.

Post match Undertaker is having none of this and beats up the Edgeheads, including the choke to Hawkins. Undertaker holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Undertaker vs. Edge is starting to feel like a big deal and that is how a major Wrestlemania match should come off. The match got another hard push here and when you add in….Great Khali having the match of the night…..it was a pretty decent show. They need something else to build up aside from Edge vs. Undertaker, but they still have a few weeks to make that work.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2012 (2013 Redo): The Future Is Now

Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

I don’t remember much about this show and I think that says a lot about it. The main event is a triple threat with Punk defending against Cena and Ryback because WWE loves their three way matches. The original main event was going to be Team Punk vs. Team Foley in a Survivor Series match but WWE realized no one would pay to see that, so the new main events were made. Team Punk was replaced by Team Ziggler, despite the two of them having no real animosity at all. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

It’s Slater and Mahal here. Ryder starts with Mahal as Matt Striker rips Ryder on commentary. Mahal takes him down with a shoulder block but gets caught in an armdrag. Off to Santino who works on a headlock before it’s off to Slater for another armdrag. Ryder comes back in as the announcers talk about Halloween a good three weeks since it’s been over. McIntyre holds Slater’s belt from the floor to avoids Santino’s dropkick. Tag off to the fun one of the Band (meaning Mahal if that’s not clear) who gets two off a knee drop.

Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see. It isn’t a bad match or anything but how good can a match be when 3MB is getting a clean pin? That’s not exactly a match that’s going to light the world on fire. Also, you’re trying to get a crowd going for a show, you have Santino Marella, and he doesn’t get the hot tag? Really?

The opening video talks about the history that has taken place at this show, ranging from Undertaker and Rock debuting, Montreal, and Rock and Cena teaming up for the first time ever. We then shift over to the main event hype videos you would expect, focusing on the world title matches and….nothing else. Seriously Foley vs. Ziggler isn’t mentioned here at all. There is a nice idea of Punk surviving as champion at various amounts of days into his reign.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio

Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

This is a bonus match to fill out the card. Nothing wrong with that at all. Apparently this is the debut of the three man booth so we’re getting a bit of history here. Why anyone would care about that is beyond me but I need something to talk about during these long entrances. This was also back when Tensai was all evil but was a total joke by this point, just as he had been all along. If nothing else we get to see Rosa Mendes with black hair and those hips of hers.

Kidd works on Epico’s arm to start before taking him down into a headlock. Epico is sent to the floor but manages to send Kidd face first into the apron to take over but it’s quickly off to Gabriel. A sunset flip gets two for Justin and he cranks on Epico’s arm as well. Back to Kidd for a headscissors before putting on another armbar. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio comes in with a low dropkick for two.

Young gets the tag and is almost immediately sent face first into the middle buckle, allowing for a tag off to Sin Cara. The masked men hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two on Young, sending him over to the corner for a tag off to Primo. Cara hits a quick cross body for two and a sunset flip gets the same as this is a very fast paced match. Tensai gets the tag and runs over Cara with a few slams as JBL lists off Tensai’s Japanese accomplishments.

Off to Titus as Sin Cara is in a lot of trouble. Another slam puts Sin down and it’s off to Primo for a camel clutch. Tensai comes back in to work over the downed Cara but goes after the rest of the team instead of covering. Sin Cara gets up for an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Clay. Brodus cleans house and the Players, Epico and Primo are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo dives to take out the cousins followed by Asai moonsaults from Cara and Mysterio to take out the Players. Awesome sequence.

The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Titus comes in to stomp on the spent Gabriel before it’s back to Epico for a chinlock. Epico misses some elbow drops, allowing Gabriel to make the tag off to Tyson. Kidd heads to the apron but gets sent to the floor where Primo gets in a cheap shot. Back inside with Primo now legal but getting forearmed in the face. Cole says Primo has been a general out there. I’d go more like a lieutenant at best from what I’ve seen.

Back to Titus who crotches himself off a missed big boot, allowing Tyson to kick him in the side of the head, setting up a rolling cradle for the pin and an elimination. Young comes in to keep the pressure on Kidd before it’s back to Epico for some rolling belly to back suplexes. Not that they matter though as Kidd sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico. Cole of course talks about Montreal.

Primo comes in now but gets elbowed in the ribs for his efforts. He comes back with a quick belly to back suplex, only to go up top and dive into a dropkick to the ribs. The hot tag brings in Mysterio who rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face for two. A seated senton looks to set up the 619 but Primo moves to the side, only to get caught in La Majistral for the pin. Darren Young is left all alone and it’s finishers a go-go until Rey finishes him with a top rope splash for the win.

Rating: C. The winners were never really in doubt but this was the right way to get a show going. The fast paced stuff worked very well here with all of the smaller guys hitting their dives to wake the crowd up and give them a fun match. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A little trivia for you: that loss makes Tensai 0-5 at Survivor Series, which I’m pretty sure is the worst record ever.

Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring when someone in black attacks her. Kaitlyn fights back to reveal a blonde wig which falls off as the attacker leaves. Eve pops up and acts all shocked even though she’s evil at the moment. I think the attacker wound up being Aksana.

Divas Title: Katilyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and hasn’t gotten much better ever since. Eve was good but her character had hit a ceiling around this time. It’s no surprise she was gone soon after this.

Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.

Team Foley argues over who will survive. Foley unites them in a BANG BANG chant, save for Orton. Foley: “Randy?” Orton: “I hate you.” Foley: “He’s ready.”

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.

A knee to the ribs gets two as JBL lists off some facts about Cesaro’s rugby career. Cole brushes him off and starts listing off rugby facts of his own, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about Cole not listening and asking if Cole is a parrot. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro and an uppercut gets the same. Back to the body vice for a bit before Truth makes his comeback. Some clotheslines take Cesaro down and a spinning kick to the face gets two. A front suplex gets the same for Truth but the ax kick misses and Cesaro Neutralizes him to retain.

Rating: D. Other than JBL’s rant there was nothing to pay attention to here. These kind of title defenses tend to be very dull as someone like Truth isn’t going to take the title off Cesaro. For the life of me I don’t get why Cesaro isn’t a bigger deal than he is today. The guy has everything you would need but he doesn’t get that big push.

Ad for TLC, set up like an ad for David Otunga’s law offices.

We get a clip from Raw of voicemails from AJ, saying that she wants to end her relationship with Cena, but she loses control when she sees him. AJ claims that Ziggler hacked her phone and set those up. Ziggler makes fun of Cena’s, ahem, performance issues, drawing out Cena as backup. AJ slapped Ziggler down without Cena doing a thing.

Here’s AJ with some evidence against someone for something. Over the last month Vickie has been trying to prove that AJ is having an affair with Cena (remember that they’re both single at this point) which AJ thinks means Vickie has something to hide. This brings out Vickie, ranting as always about how much power she has and how she’s being disrespected.

AJ has pictures of Vickie eating with various wrestling personalities and this is SCANDALOUS! I’ve spent a long time trying to block this storyline out of my head but now I’m remembering how dumb it was. Vickie is shown in a one piece leopard swimsuit dancing with Brodus and Vickie shouts a lot. Slapping is threatened but they both get fired for touching the other, so here’s Tamina Snuka to destroy AJ on Vickie’s behalf. This story would keep going for WEEKS.

Promo for the Attitude Era DVD. Just writing that is so wrong.

Paul Heyman talks about how Punk is now #8 on the all time list for longest title reign and will be rising up the ranks even further after tonight because he’s the best in the world. Heyman is just awesome at promoting his guys.

We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. Not much of a story here other than they had a war at HIAC with both guys kicking out of each others’ finishers in a great match. Tonight is a rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show

It’s another brawl to start with Sheamus pounding away but Big Show gets in a few shots of his own to take over. The big chop misses in the corner and Sheamus gets in some more shots to little avail. Finally Sheamus wakes up and goes after the knees before tying Show up in the rpes for the forearms to the chest. Big Show escapes to the floor but Sheamus dives off the apron to get in even more right hands to the head.

Back in and Sheamus goes up top but Big Show spears him out of the air in a cool looking crash. They head outside again with Show sending Sheamus into the steps. Sheamus is thrown back in and can barely move. Big Show steps on Sheamus’ ribs a few times as the match has slowed way down. A huge elbow drop gets two and we hit the nerve hold. Sheamus fights up quickly but walks into a side slam for two as the match stays in slow motion. Since the slams aren’t working, Show just stands on Sheamus’ head. Sheamus fights up and grabs a sleeper but Big Show throws him off.

Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. That was rather awesome indeed. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.

The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of the HIAC match and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.

Post match Show is disqualified and Sheamus lays the thirty one chair shots on him. I never remembered it being that many and that’s because it’s more like 18 and a Brogue Kick. Big Show crawls to the back as WE WANT ZIGGLER chants are ignored.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett

The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton

So as I said, it was supposed to be Punk vs. Foley over old school vs. new school, but Punk was put in the main event and Ziggler was picked despite having no issue with Foley. The match was originally Punk/Sandow/Miz/Del Rio/Rhodes, but Cody got hurt and Miz felt he didn’t deserve the spot, so Miz was replaced by Barrett and Cody was replaced by Otunga. Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO have the tag belts and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course.

Kofi grabs a quick rollup for two on Otunga to start. David avoids a quick Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by a dive on the floor. Otunga’s trunks are pulled up a bit as Bryan comes in with his kicks. Off to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow gets two. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and fires off the kicks to the chest to send Sandow out to the floor. Damien says good luck and walks out but Kane will have none of that. Back in and Bryan’s big kick to the head sets up a chokeslam for a fast elimination.

The tag champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.

Bryan shouts NO a lot but misses a charge into the corner, setting up Barrett’s big boot in the ropes. Otunga comes in again and the YES Lock goes on almost immediately for the submission. It’s 4-3 with Foley in the lead as Del Rio comes in with a chinlock on Bryan. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Bryan to kick him out to the floor. Kofi gets the not very hot tag and kicks Del Rio down, setting up the Boom Drop for no cover. Instead Ziggler distracts Kofi so Trouble in Paradise misses, but Kofi runs up the corner for a cross body and two.

Wade comes right back with the Bull Hammer for a quick pin, getting us down to 3-3 (Orton/Miz/Bryan vs. Barrett/Ziggler/Del Rio). Orton comes in right away and suplexes Barrett down before cranking on the arm. Miz doesn’t seem interested in a tag but Bryan is glad to come in and work on an arm. A middle rope dropkick gets two and Bryan snaps off even more kicks. Barrett avoids a big one and tags in Del Rio but Alberto has to fight out of a quick YES Lock attempt.

Alberto tries a running enziguri in the corner but hits the arm instead, setting up the cross armbreaker for the elimination. Can you imagine the reaction if that happened today? Miz comes in for the first time and scores with some left hands before it’s back to Orton for his traditional stuff. Back to Ziggler who takes over on Randy with a big elbow followed by a chinlock. Orton fights up and launches Ziggler into the air in a nice crash.

A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (which isn’t the Wasteland Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.

That leaves Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio with Alberto starting for his pair. Orton fires off some punches but gets caught by a cheap shot, allowing Ziggler to come in and slow things down. Alberto is back in very quickly with a double stomp to the ribs but goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick. Ricardo trips up Orton, earning him Socko down the throat. Ziggler accidentally dropkicks Del Rio and gets sent into the post. A quick RKO takes out Alberto and it’s one on one now with Orton having that evil look in his eyes.

Orton immediately goes into RKO mode but Ziggler holds the ropes and hits the Zig Zag for a quick near fall. So it can beat Kane after he’s taken no damage at all but Orton kicks out at two after twenty minutes? Score one for the Viper. The Fameasser misses and Orton hits the Elevated DDT despite bleeding from the mouth a bit. Orton loads up the Punt like a schnook though and walks into a superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Here’s the problem again: the match isn’t bad but there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting each other. Yeah they’ve all feuded with each other at some point in the past, but there’s nothing going on setting up this match. It’s really just ten guys fighting each other with a minor feud here or there. There was no reason to care about this match and that’s exactly how the match felt. Decent match, but the absence of emotion held it back.

Tout continues to annoy me a year after it stopped being a thing.

We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution? TRIPLE THREAT OF COURSE!!!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both guys. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena is all like “dude, my arch nemesis” and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first though but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Obviously the three guys were Reign/Ambrose/Rollins which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he hasn’t recovered yet. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

Overall Rating: D. Man alive has time been cruel to this show. Watching it live there was some drama, but looking back you have two LONG Survivor Series matches with no real story behind them and two screwjob finishes in title matches. Shield would become a bigger deal but no one knew that at this point. This was a “tune into Raw tomorrow night” show and that’s not good for the Survivor Series.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Original:

Redo: D+

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-

Redo: C

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Original: D-

Redo: D

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D

Redo: D

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/21/survivor-series-2012-a-filler-ppv-disguised-as-a-major-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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