IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown 1000
Date: October 16, 2018
Location: Capital One Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

This is a milestone show as we’re hitting the 1000^th episode in the show’s history. The big deal here is a variety of cameos and appearances from some of the biggest stars the show has ever seen. I’m not sure what to expect here, but WWE’s record with important shows like this has been hit and miss. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

One more note: between each match and coming back from breaks, we get classic stills from Smackdown’s history. That’s a very nice touch.

We open with a long montage of the show’s history, which is of course awesome. WWE does these things better than anyone else and this is no exception.

Here are R-Truth and Carmella for Truth TV, which is also celebrating its 1000^th episode. Carmella explains things to him so Truth pauses for a dance break. Since their guest needs no introduction, let’s have another dance break! That brings them to their guest….who of course is Stephanie McMahon. She soaks in some booing and brags about her time as Smackdown General Manager but here’s Shane McMahon to a much stronger introduction. Stephanie: “How come I don’t ever get any love?”

Shane actually sounds a little choked up as he thanks the fans for being here for 1000 episode. Stephanie: “And just like that, they buy it.” After a bickering session, Stephanie says we should be starting a little bigger than Truth TV, which gets a Truth TV chant. And now, here’s Vince McMahon to really interrupt. The YES chants start up but Stephanie says that he’s got his hearing aid in tonight. Vince gets straight to the point: he wants a dance break! Everyone starts dancing and that’s that. How nice of Stephanie to rip the show we’re celebrating and then dance because she’s Stephanie and no one can stay mad at her.

Usos vs. Daniel Bryan/AJ Styles

Oh hey the Usos are still alive. Jey and Bryan start things off with Jimmy coming in to take Daniel down with a double elbow. It’s quickly off to AJ for some kicks to the leg but Jey stomps him down in the corner. The Calf Crusher goes on Jey and Daniel gets the YES Lock on Jimmy but a rope is grabbed to send us to a break. Back with Bryan kicking away and moonsaulting over Jimmy, setting up the suicide dive onto Jey. There’s a missile dropkick to Jimmy and the YES Kicks have him in even more trouble. Everything breaks down and Bryan forearms AJ by mistake, setting up a double superkick to pin Bryan at 9:08.

Rating: C. This was angle advancement instead of a match and that’s perfectly fine. Bryan and Styles aren’t the kind of people to hate each other so building tension over wins and losses is the most logical path to a match that they have. It’s also nice to give the Usos a win as they’ve barely been a factor in a long time now.

Vickie Guerrero, Johnny Ace and Teddy Long join Paige for some dancing.

Here’s Evolution for their Smackdown debut. HHH talks about the show reaching 1000 episodes by evolving over the years. Flair says he’s more used to that 10,000 number but seems happy to be here. Orton says it was a great way to start his career with these men and he’s never stopped evolving. Now HHH runs the show, Flair lives vicariously through his daughter and Batista spends more time in a makeup chair than in the ring but Orton is still cementing his legacy.

Batista says he’s nervous but he’s going to enjoy his time, including ignoring what Orton said. The last place he wants to be is here with a microphone in his hand. He’s come up with four things to say though. First, he wanted to be here because this is 1000 shows. Second, we’re here in his hometown, where he bounced in clubs and saw more violence than he could ever imagine but now he’s made it.

Third, he’s here for the people, no matter what they said to him over the years because he worked hard for them every night. Finally, and definitely not the least, is the three other members of Evolution. This was an army of World Champions that will never be assembled again.

Orton was special the moment everyone laid eyes on him. Flair is…..well he’s Ric Flair and that sums it all up. Batista to Flair: “You keep that thing in your pants.” And they’re all cracking up. Finally there’s HHH, who has done everything there is to do in this business…..except beat Batista. Tensions are teased but everyone hugs, with HHH giving a very long stare at Batista. This was the Batista show and you can tell the Hollywood stuff has helped him quite a bit.

World Cup Of Wrestling Qualifying Match: The Miz vs. Rusev

Neither gets an entrance and Kurt Angle is on commentary. Aiden English runs down for a distraction and Miz grabs a rollup for the pin at 41 seconds. The spoils of a dance break I guess.

Post match Rusev destroys English.

In the back Curt Hawkins and Edge give us a quick Edgehead reunion.

Here’s Edge (with Tony Chimel doing his intro for old times sake), with the shoulder length hair again, for the Cutting Edge. This has always felt like his show because this is where some of his greatest achievements took place. He cashed in Money in the Bank on the Undertaker and had a No DQ match against Eddie Guerrero that people still talk to him about to this day. He even married and divorced Vickie Guerrero. However, he’s been watching the show for the last few weeks and now he needs to be Smackdown’s moral compass.

Therefore, his first guest is Becky Lynch, who Edge sees a lot of himself in. Becky says she modeled her career after him so that means a lot. Edge talks about not being someone who was supposed to succeed and having to scratch and claw their way to the top, just like Becky. The thing is though, Becky didn’t make the right choice.

If there was a friendship that got in Edge’s way, he crushed it, leaving a trail of burnt bridges. That’s not the right way, no matter how many titles you win. The path that Becky is on will lead to her sitting alone, looking at all of her titles on the wall, by herself. The bigger problem is she won’t even like herself.

Becky says it’s true that she doesn’t like herself because she loves herself. She tells Edge to get out of the champ’s ring and make sure you don’t hurt your neck again going through the ropes. Cue Charlotte to say that it’s not cool to go there. The fight is on with agents and referees having to break it up in short order.

Rey Mysterio is back and runs into Jeff Hardy.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. The Bar

New Day is defending and since they’re wrestling, Booker T. and Jerry Lawler are running New Day’s commentary booth. Woods headscissors Sheamus down for a basement dropkick and an early near fall as we cut to Lawler and Booker for more analysis than the regular team gives in a week. Cesaro takes over on the arm and it’s off to Sheamus for a double elbow as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus missing a charge into the corner and the hot tag off to Big E. Cesaro comes in as well and gets Rock Bottomed out of the corner, landing on his head. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and gets speared through the ropes, leaving Woods to hit a Shining Wizard for two on Cesaro. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up but Cesaro makes a blind tag. Big E. hits the Big Ending on Sheamus but gets Neutralized for two with Woods making the save as we take a second break in less than seven minutes.

Back again with Big E. missing a charge and getting caught in a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two with Kofi Kingston breaking up the cover due to feet on the ropes. The Bar loads up the announcers’ table but here’s Big Show to chokeslam Kofi through it instead, leaving Sheamus to Brogue Kick Big E. for the pin and the titles at 13:38.

Rating: C. This was the Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff “do something to make it memorable” title change and that’s fine. The tag division means nothing on this show so switching the titles doesn’t change a thing anyway. Hopefully the Usos can get back in there now as they’re more than overdue to be in the title scene again.

John Cena sends in a video about the history of Smackdown creating new superstars. There is no John Cena without Smackdown and he owes the fans a great deal of thanks.

World Cup Of Wrestling Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title and this is Rey’s first singles match for WWE in four and a half years. Nakamura takes him down to start and drops a knee for an early one. A front facelock has Rey in some more trouble but he’s right back out with a headscissors. Rey knocks him outside for the sliding splash underneath the bottom rope. Back in and Rey gets caught in the Tree of Woe and we take a break.

We come back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton and a top rope hurricanrana getting two. Nakamura kicks him in the head but misses Kinshasa, allowing Rey to headscissor him again. After Nakamura crawls over to the ropes, it’s a 619 into the springboard frog splash for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was watchable enough but some of the spots weren’t exactly hitting and Nakamura was his usually uninspired self. Mysterio looked good in spots but it certainly wasn’t a match that would make you thrilled to see him back. It’s more like he’s lost some weight and come back after not being around for a bit. I’m glad he’s back, but it wasn’t exactly anything major.

Post match here’s Undertaker to say “At Crown Jewel, I have three worlds for DX: Rest In Peace” to end the show. His music stopped for less than thirty seconds.

Overall Rating: D+. So we’re going to put this one in the “miss” category as it pretty much stopped being a historical show in the last 45 minutes and turned into a regular episode of the show with Booker T. and Jerry Lawler popping in for about sixty seconds of commentary. The long segments took up way too much of a two hour show (Evolution and the opening segment added up to a half hour) and the rest was the Cutting Edge and focus on Crown Jewel. I could go for a Best Of Smackdown show, but this was trying to have both a regular show and a nostalgia show and neither won.

Results

Usos b. Daniel Bryan/AJ Styles – Double superkick to Bryan

The Miz b Rusev – Rollup

The Bar b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Big E.

Rey Mysterio b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Springboard frog splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 3, 2004
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a big night here with Chris Benoit defending the World Title against Shawn Michaels. HHH is still lurking around though because he doesn’t know how to do anything else. Other than that we have the continuing adventures of Eugene, who has turned out to be quite the charming fellow, especially with William Regal as his handler. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Benoit vs. Michaels, billed as the Showdown in the Desert. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Opening sequence.

JR welcomes us to Memphis.

Evolution vs. Tajiri/Shelton Benjamin/Edge

Flair is the odd man out here. HHH and Shelton start things off but Randy tags himself in before anything can start. Orton catches a kick to the ribs but is smart enough to not spin the leg around for the Dragon Whip. A clothesline drops Orton and it’s Tajiri coming in, only to be taken into the Evolution corner. As he comes in, the fans remind HHH that he tapped out. Edge, now with a more stylish black cast, gets in as well and it’s a rather nice looking staredown.

HHH eventually gets the better of it and brings Orton in for some choking in the corner. Evolution keeps taking turns on Edge with Batista slamming him down and HHH stomping away in the corner. The bad hand goes into the steps and HHH slugs away, followed by the facebuster for two. Edge scores with a spinwheel kick and it’s off to Tajiri for some slightly better kicks. A tornado DDT gets two on HHH until Batista breaks up the handspring with a shot to the back.

We come back from a break with Tajiri still in trouble, including HHH elbowing him to the floor. Batista chokes a bit and HHH adds an elbow to the chest as the dominance continues. Lawler: “Is it true that if you turn an Oriental upside down, they become disoriented?” Orton even gets in some pounding of his own and grabs a long chinlock. Back up and Tajiri kicks the head out of Orton, allowing the hot tag off to Edge. Everything breaks down and Edge hits Orton with a top rope clothesline. Batista breaks up the spear attempt and HHH clotheslines Benjamin. Tajiri mists Batista though and the spear is enough to put Orton away.

Rating: B-. Good old fashioned six man tag (which we need a lot more of) here and that’s exactly what this story needed. Evolution vs. a rotating cast of faces is a perfect way to book the show as you can do all kinds of combinations. The win should give Edge the inside track to an Intercontinental Title shot and there’s nothing wrong with that. Good booking and fun action to start the show.

Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade are insulting the women of Phoenix (and promising two good looking midwest women, who better not be Moolah and Mae Young) when Vince McMahon comes in to say he’s here for the big main event. That’s a nice cameo and Vince put Benoit over very strong.

Smackdown ReBound.

Last night at a Smackdown show, Eddie Guerrero brought his family into the ring when “something” happened, possibly involving JBL. I don’t see this going well.

HHH rants to Bischoff about being in the World Title match. Batista wants Tajiri and Johnny Nitro tries to calm things down. HHH: “Take it easy Johnny Oversell.” For next week: Batista vs. Tajiri, Orton vs. Edge for the Intercontinental Title and HHH vs. Benjamin.

Hurricane vs. Rob Conway

They fight over a neckbreaker to start with Conway getting the better of it and hammering away. It’s off to a modified cravate to keep Hurricane in trouble but he pops up for a missed Shining Wizard. Conway is right back up with a hanging swinging neckbreaker for the clean pin.

Rating: D. Not enough time to mean anything here but at least they’re doing something to set up next week’s match. That’s been the norm as of late and that makes for some fun television: set up things for next week and keep giving the fans a reason to come back. Why is that so hard to grasp?

Post match Conway promises a special beating for Eugene.

Video on Kane’s renewed evil, including forcing a kiss on Lita last week. You know, in case you haven’t seen enough from Kane in recent months.

Kane vs. Steven Richards

Chokeslam in about thirty seconds.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel. Before the guest comes out, Jericho talks about tonight’s World Title match. What are his thoughts? It’s been far too long since he’s had a World Title match of his own so he wants the first shot at the winner (making sure to point out that it’s someone other than HHH challenging for a change in a nice touch).

As for the show though, his guest is Matt Hardy, who believes in karma and is not afraid of pain. Jericho asks him about Kane and Lita but Matt gets right to the point: he wants Lita in the ring right now because he needs to ask her something. Lita shows up on the screen and says Matt has to listen to her. In what sounds like a forced statement, she says she never loved him and has found someone else. She never wants to see him again and needs him to stay away from her.

Lita finally snaps and says she can’t do this before screaming that she’s in the basement, revealing that Kane has her hostage. Matt runs out and Jericho says that’s kind of an abrupt end to the show. Cue Christian, Trish Stratus (all in black and…..well dang) and Tyson Tomko to chat a bit before coming in and laying Jericho out, including a low blow from Trish.

During the break, Matt went to save Lita but Kane was gone. Hugging ensues. Again: logical stuff there. There was no reason for Matt to wait until the break was over if it was that important, so just say it happened in real time and show it later.

Gail Kim vs. Victoria

Non-title and Molly, now with long, curly blonde hair, is with Gail. Before the match, Gail says no one feels sorry for Lita. Gail jumps her to start but gets half gorilla pressed up with Victoria dropping her part of the way through. The dancing moonsault gets two with Molly making the save and earning herself a stern lecture.

Back up and Gail clotheslines her into a chinlock, followed by a dragon sleeper. That works so well that Gail does the same sequence of moves again, this time causing Victoria to fight up and scream a bit. Three straight shot to the face have Gail knocked down (ignore Gail falling before the contact on at least one of them) but she’s right back with the Black Widow….and actually gets the tap.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here but Victoria does need a new challenger. I can’t say fresh because we’ve seen every combination of these women for the better part of ever but at least we’re getting somewhere different with these people. Gail isn’t exactly polished at this point and hopefully we get to Trish instead of her instead.

William Regal is ready to train Eugene in what he calls a torture session. This might be his way to get out of this once and for all.

Vince is alone in a sky box to watch the main event.

It’s time for the training session with Eugene, who is very excited by an armdrag because Ricky Steamboat did them. Regal does a bunch of moves but Eugene does them all (set to what would become his music) and then taunts him with toys and a HHH water bottle. Regal switches to chain wrestling (as Ride of Valkyries starts up)….and is almost immediately taken down into a Regal Stretch with Eugene making him tap.

That’s EXACTLY how this character should work as he’s a goon in over his head everywhere but the ring, where he’s an idiot savant. That’s a good character and something that plays to both WWE’s creativity (which can exist) and Eugene’s in-ring skills. Everyone wins and I’m looking forward to the match next week.

Preview for next week. Again: give them a reason to tune in because they want to see matches instead of asking them to tune in and find out that it’s a good show. It also helps when you have the show planned that far in advance.

Before the main event, Bischoff makes Christian vs. Jericho in a cage for next week.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

Shawn is challenging and they have a lot of time, as they should. An aggressive Benoit goes straight at Shawn in the corner but the referee makes a bit of a forced break. They do it again and now it’s time to start slugging away for a few moments. A headlock doesn’t keep Benoit down long as he’s right back with a backdrop and a clothesline to put Shawn on the floor. The announcers talk about Shawn being born here, with JR pointing out that not many people are going to notice, or likely care.

Shawn gets in a neckbreaker, followed by the flying forearm into the nipup. Benoit can’t get the Crossface in either of two attempts so Shawn hits him in the head again. Back from a very abrupt break with Shawn holding an abdominal stretch, allowing Lawler to plug next week’s matches again. One heck of a whip into the corner just wakes Benoit up as he rattles off some rollups for near falls.

Shawn atomic drops him down again, which Lawler thinks has the fans cheering because Shawn is from Phoenix. The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is countered into the rolling German suplexes. Benoit hits four in a row but misses the Swan Dive to put them both down. Shawn goes up again, only to get caught with chops and some very angry stomps to put him in trouble.

Benoit loads up a suplex but gets suplexed out to the floor instead. The moonsault to the floor takes Benoit down again and Michaels’ tights coming down far lower than they need to be. He’s fine enough to whip Benoit knees first into the steps and head first into the post to bust him open as we take another break. Back again with Benoit fighting out of a sleeper and getting two off a bridging German suplex.

Shawn grabs the Walls of all things but Benoit makes a rope as we keep going (not a bad thing). The Crossface goes on and Shawn is in trouble until he gets his foot on the rope. With that not working, Benoit tries the Sharpshooter but gets kicked into the referee. Of course Sweet Chin Music connects a few seconds later but there’s no one to count. Cue HHH (erg) for a Pedigree to Shawn (Benoit didn’t see it) to give Benoit the retaining pin.

Rating: B+. Dang it they had me believing that HHH might actually stay out of the main event scene for a few weeks. This is either leading to HHH vs. Shawn (again) or Shawn wanting ONE MORE TITLE MATCH (again) because that’s the only way the World Title scene seems to be able to go for Benoit. HHH and Shawn need to just stay far apart for a long time but that’s not going to happen anytime soon, because they need to take over the show again and again.

HHH laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. What more can you ask for? The very good Eugene sequence, two very good to great matches and setting things up for later on. There’s very little that they’re not doing anything at the moment and it’s almost hard to believe that this is Raw. I’m not used to having a show where I can’t make fun of that much but they’re managing to do it as of late.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 26, 2004
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

They don’t have to go far to beat Smackdown this week. We’re still a week away from the big Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit title match so you can probably bet on a lot of hype for that one tonight. Other than that Edge and Benoit are the new Tag Team Champions and Evolution won’t be happy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shawn challenging Benoit last week and Benoit and Edge winning the titles.

Opening sequence.

Lita/Victoria vs. Gail Kim/Molly Holly

Lita is especially smiley this week while Molly’s hair is now longer, brown and curly. Victoria and Gail start things off and it’s a very early dancing moonsault (again with the camera facing Victoria’s front) for two. Molly comes in for a quickly broken cravate so it’s off to Gail to keep beating on Victoria. An elbow knocks Lita off the apron and Gail grabs a Black Widow to take Victoria down. That’s broken up pretty quickly and the hot tag brings in Lita to clean house. A spinning belly to back suplex gets two on Gail and Molly loses the wig. Molly sends Victoria into the barricade, leaving Lita to DDT Gail for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible as they take care of the issue from Backlash. It’s not like the women’s division means anything at the moment (and it hasn’t for years) so having the women trade wins don’t exactly help or hurt anything. They kept it short here and nothing was terribly botched so that’s about all you can ask for.

Post match Molly beats up Lita some more but here’s Kane of all people to interrupt. Just like last week Lita isn’t smart enough to roll under the bottom rope and get out so Kane strokes her cheek and smells her neck. She finally runs away and, after a break, runs into Matt Hardy in the back. Matt says he’s facing Kane tonight and he’ll take care of her. Kane shows up and beats Matt down as Lita wisely runs for a change.

Post break HHH goes into Bischoff’s office and yells at a plant (as in a potted plant) about wanting Tajiri tonight. Eric leaves and HHH yells at the empty room. Because he can’t see.

Rob Conway vs. Rhyno

Eugene and William Regal show up at commentary. Eugene: “French Canadians! Pat Patterson first Intercontinental Champion Rio de Janeiro 1979!” JR to Lawler: “You didn’t even know that.” The USA chants begin and Eugene joins in before heading down next to the Titantron for some cartwheels. Rhyno gets two off a belly to belly but gets thrown over the top.

Conway chokes on the ropes as Eugene has stolen some popcorn and come back to commentary. Regal: “No don’t put that in your ear!” Conway gets two off a kick to the ribs and the referee is nearly jumping as he counts the two. Eugene is over in the tech area as Conway whips Rhyno into the corner and gets two off a clothesline. Some pyro goes off thanks to Eugene pushing buttons, allowing Rhyno to hit a Gore (the only significant offense of the match) for the pin.

Rating: D. The wrestling was just a backdrop for the Eugene stuff but it feels like innocent, harmless fun. That’s the way they should be treating him and Regal as the funny straight man is the perfect foil. This was a lot of fun and I’m starting to remember why I was a big fan of the guy back in the day.

Post break La Resistance wants to fight Eugene tonight but Regal says that can’t happen. Johnny Nitro makes Eugene vs. Conway in two weeks.

Edge and Benoit are cut off by Shawn, who reminds him of their match next week. Shawn leaves and Edge wants Benoit to stay focused on tonight.

Here are Christian, Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko for a chat before a match. Christian talks about Jericho being a problem and needing a problem solver.

Christian vs. Grandmaster Sexay

Sexay gets jumped to start as JR goes back to the 1800s for insults about Trish. A flapjack lets Sexay dance a bit and a middle rope dropkick gets two. The reverse DDT is broken up and a cactus crossbody puts them both on the floor. Back in and Tomko offers a distraction to break up the Hip Hop Drop. The Unprettier gives Christian the easy pin.

Post match Tomko kicks Sexay in the face but Jericho’s music hits. Tomko is sent into the aisle but Jericho comes in through the crowd and gets Trish in the Walls for all of two seconds.

HHH vs. Tajiri

HHH, with a somewhat green face, is still wiping his eyes and hammers away to start. Tajiri gets choked on the mat as the fans remind HHH that he tapped out. Some kicks knock HHH down and the handspring elbow gets two as the fans are already into this one. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather but Tajiri smacks him in the face and sends him head first into the steps. HHH gets back in at nine and the Buzzsaw kick is blocked.

Tajiri kicks away even more but walks into the spinebuster as Lawler makes more and more jokes about Tajiri’s accent. A hard whip sends Tajiri into the corner but he’s right back with a spinwheel kick. The Octopus Hold is countered by a HHH hiptoss and the Tarantula doesn’t go on full. Instead Tajiri goes with a missile dropkick that knocks HHH into the referee. The mist misses though and the Pedigree finally finishes Tajiri.

Rating: C+. This was much better than I was expecting with Tajiri working hard and HHH actually giving him a lot. You don’t see a midcarder going move for move like this with a top star very often and it makes for a very refreshing match. HHH didn’t lose anything here and Tajiri looked better than he has in a long time. Now why can’t we get something like this a little more often?

We recap the Lita/Kane/Matt Hardy stuff.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who always meets his deadlines, can barely walk to the ring. Kane wastes no time in beating him down and chokes on the ropes. A whip sends Matt chest first into the buckle and there’s the chokeslam. Kane chokeslams him again but Lita runs in to save Matt from the Tombstone. Lita lets him kiss her and Kane walks out. Angle instead of a match.

Victoria tried to get people to vote.

Lawler is in the ring to promote the Divas Magazine, because he’s the only one you could get to talk about the thing. We see some shots on the Titantron and here’s Stacy Keibler to help things out. What is she doing here you ask? Meeting Harley Race, sitting in the front row, of course. Therefore cue Randy Orton as JR panics. Orton says he’s the only real legend around here and has already accomplished more than Race has in his whole career. Race shaking his head is worth a chuckle and Orton goes out to spit on him. That draws Race over the barricade but Shelton Benjamin (hey he’s still here) to jump Orton for the save.

Smackdown Rebound. That show needs no more attention.

Batista and Flair want their titles back. Apparently Batista hasn’t been able to sleep since losing the titles and that will NEVER happen again. He screams everything he says here but does earn himself a WOO.

Tag Team Titles: Ric Flair/Batista vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Edge are defending and Edge still has a cast on his hand. Flair and Benoit hit the mat for an early standoff with Flair slicking the hair back. With the technical stuff not interesting him, Benoit chops in the corner and hits a backdrop. Flair goes for the leg (well duh) and it’s already off to Batista. Edge comes in as well and stomps the big man down in the corner until the running clothesline takes his head off.

Flair comes back in and gets taken down into a weird looking half crab (Edge is turned halfway around instead of facing backwards), followed by a Figure Four as tends to be required in Flair matches. Of course Flair knows the counter so it’s back to Benoit for more chops and a Flair Flop (earning some appreciative applause). Benoit chops him so much that it’s a second Flop but Edge walks into an atomic drop.

A knee to the back sends Edge hard into the corner and Batista sends the bad hand into the steps as we take a break. Back with Edge sending Batista face first into the buckle and the hot tag bringing in Benoit. They’re not wasting time with this one. Everything breaks down and Flair is clotheslined to the floor, leaving Batista to take the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but Flair is back in for the save.

We settle back into the standard operating procedure here with Flair tossing Benoit into the corner and Batista adds a suplex. The half crab keeps Benoit in trouble and Flair gets two off a chop. You don’t chop with Benoit so Flair takes him down by the legs to bring Batista back in. An enziguri gets Benoit out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Edge. Everything breaks down again and Batista spinebusts Benoit. That allows Flair to load up the Figure Four, only to eat the spear to retain the titles.

Rating: B. Hot tag match here with a clean finish, which is a lot more than I was expecting. They’re rolling with the idea of longer wrestling matches at the moment and that makes for a very fun ending like this one. Edge and Benoit’s roll continues and Edge’s feud with Kane is forgotten more every week, thank goodness.

Post match HHH comes in to beat the Canadians down but here’s Shawn for the save with a chair. He hits Benoit by mistake (dun dun dun) and that’s not cool with Edge. They calm down but Benoit is up with the Sharpshooter to Shawn to end the show. Good way to set up next week’s title match.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some stuff on here that isn’t as entertaining as the rest but it’s such an easy show to watch and they’re making it a lot of fun every single week. Above all else they’re not just focusing on one or two things and leaving the rest out to dry. Build up the entire show and the good parts will look even better as a result. If you happen to get something fun like Eugene as a bonus, it’s even better. Another good show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 19, 2004
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Backlash and that means it’s time to start the long road to Bad Blood in June as May is Smackdown’s turn. Chris Benoit retained the World Title in another classic triple threat match while Randy Orton survived against Cactus Jack in the match that should elevate him to the next level. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Backlash if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

Now that’s how you open things up. Lilian Garcia adds another town to Jericho’s list of homes, billing him from Winnipoga, Manitoba, Canada. Christian has Trish Stratus with him and….egads man. That’s one of the better looks she’s ever had, which is quite a list to top. They fight over a lockup to start but shove each other away for a staredown. Christian slaps him in the face so Jericho punches him in his, which seems to be a little more effective.

A middle rope dropkick gives Jericho two and it’s off to the pinfall reversal sequence. You don’t do that to Jericho, who tries for the Walls. Trish comes in for the save and that means another spank. As Lawler calls that sexual harassment, Jericho dives onto the two of them as we take a break. Back with Jericho going face first into the steps, allowing Trish to slap him in the face.

The Chick Kick knocks Jericho into a chinlock until the standard comeback gets him out. A running crotch attack to the back looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho settles for the Flashback instead. Christian’s reverse DDT (not the Unprettier JR) gets two and he heads up top.

That takes a little too long though and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two of his own. Christian is right back with a super reverse DDT but the Texas Cloverleaf doesn’t work. Trish gets in a cheap shot but her slap hits Christian, setting up the enziguri. Now it’s Trish getting in to break up the count so Jericho loads up the Walls, only to have a big bald tattooed man come in and kick Jericho in the face to give Christian the pin.

Rating: B. Nice match here and the addition of a monster can help advance the feud. Jericho won last night so it makes sense to have Christian get his win back here. It’s a good idea to bring in some more people to keep the feud going, which is something that modern wrestling just doesn’t understand a lot of the time.

Post break, Christian introduces Trish to her new problem solver: Tyson Tomko. Chris Benoit’s music cuts off the end of the segment, which really shouldn’t be the case for a pre-tape.

Here’s Benoit to celebrate retaining the title. Benoit talks about every wrestling fan and historian knowing about the Dungeon right here in Calgary. Eighteen years ago, Stu Hart springboarded his career into professional wrestling and that’s why he’s here today. Benoit wishes Stu was here so he could thank him and we pause for a STU chant. Ever since he left the Dungeon, Benoit has been told that he can’t win the big one and he’s proven them wrong.

Then he won the Royal Rumble and went on to become World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania XX by making HHH tap out. Then he was told it was a fluke so last night he made Shawn Michaels tap too. Cue Shawn because this still isn’t over. The fans remind him that he screwed Bret before Shawn talks about how he’s always believed in Benoit. We see a clip of Shawn pinning him clean two months ago so he wants another title shot.

Benoit says let’s do it right now but here are Eric Bischoff and Johnny Nitro to cut them off. Calgary doesn’t deserve that match so let’s do it in two weeks instead. Therefore in two weeks in Phoenix (with Johnny pulling out a PDA to make sure of where the show is taking place), much to the fans’ annoyance. They shake hands and talk some trash. There’s your non-pay per view main event.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and Molly’s wig now has short hair. An early clothesline gives Molly two but she gets monkey flipped down. The apron clothesline drops Molly again as they’re certainly starting fast. Back in and the dancing moonsault gets two….and there goes the wig. A lot of her hair has grown back to the point where she looks like she just got a very short haircut and is in no way bald anymore. That’s too far for Molly, who chokes Victoria down and gets disqualified.

A white limousine arrives and it’s….Evolution, with Batista throwing his belt over his shoulder and hitting Flair in the head. HHH hears about Shawn getting the World Title shot in two weeks and says that’s his match.

Kane says there has been a problem of late. He’s shown compassion and it has made him weak. Tonight, he feasts on fear and suffering and someone will be sacrificed. This might be better if he hadn’t lost last night.

Bischoff and Nitro are scared about Kane when William Regal comes in. He’s already tired of being stressed over Eugene and isn’t a glorified babysitter. Bischoff is more worried about where Eugene is now but Regal says he hasn’t seen him since a game of hide and seek went awry earlier today (seriously). That’s not cool with Bischoff, who says Regal either take care of Eugene or Regal gets to face Kane tonight.

Here’s a cut up Randy Orton for a chat. Mick Foley promised to shut him up last night but that didn’t happen. Last night was the biggest win of his career and he wants to thank Foley for what he did. We get a quick RANDY chant before Orton talks about all the things that Foley did to him last night that the fans loved.

Everyone loved it when he was thrown into the pile of tacks but then it was the RKO onto the barbed wire bat that put Foley away. After Orton won though, he turned into something new. Last night he entered the ring as the Hardcore Legend and the Legend Killer (So he wants to kill himself?) but left as a living legend.

Cue Edge to interrupt and he’s tired of hearing Orton run his mouth for the last fourteen months. Edge doesn’t like Orton and wants him to spit on him just like Foley. That’s a big no, because Orton is tired and sore, but Edge isn’t worth it anyway. The fight is on but Batista and Flair come in to take Edge out.

Benoit makes the save but HHH comes in to beat him down as well. Evolution leaves them laying and poses on the stage but here are Bischoff and Nitro to make Edge/Benoit vs. Flair/Batista for the Tag Team Titles tonight. Orton looked like a star here and that’s exactly the point of last night’s match.

Garrison Cade vs. Tajiri

Coach introduces Cade and sits in on commentary. Cade takes him into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face. The handspring elbow is broken up with a boot to the back as Coach brags about Cade’s expensive cowboy boot. Tajiri’s back gets bent around Cade’s knee and Cade slowly walks around. The delay allows Tajiri to hit the handspring elbow this time around and a superkick gets two. A Lionsault misses though and Cade drops a top rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D+. Cade wasn’t terrible here but he wasn’t exactly thrilling either. Giving him the clean pin over Tajiri at least suggests a short term push for him, though I don’t know how far he’s going to be able to go. At least they’re trying something new and as soon as they can come up with a better name for him, he might have a chance of going somewhere.

SmackDown Rebound looks at Big Show losing his job, followed by losing his mind and threatening to kill Torrie. Instead he chokeslammed Kurt Angle off a balcony and left him in a pool of blood.

Eugene is in the arena with a t-shirt gun so let’s cut to the announcers to talk about the Tag Team Title match. Regal comes out to collect him and takes a shirt shot between the legs. Of course the selling is hilarious and the EUGENE chant is a good sign.

Benoit and Edge fire each other up before the title match.

Val Venis/Lita vs. Gail Kim/Matt Hardy

Fallout from both Heat and Backlash. No match as Matt, who has 44 different action figures and doesn’t like wasting time making his bed, gets followed to the ring by Kane, who beats up both guys as his sacrifice. He goes after Lita but Matt dives on her and takes the beating instead. Lita cowers in the corner like a nitwit instead of, you know, RUNNING AWAY FROM KANE.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending. Benoit and Flair take turns driving each other into the corner to start until some chops have Flair in the corner. Edge comes in for a backdrop and fires off his own chops in the corner. It’s off to Batista who gets dropkicked into the ropes but Edge can’t knock him down. Instead Benoit comes in and takes him down with a snap suplex, which annoys Batista so much that he takes Edge’s head off with a clothesline.

Flair comes back in and works on an armbar for a bit. Edge spinwheel kicks his way out of trouble and it’s back to Benoit for more chops. Another snap suplex sets up the Sharpshooter but Benoit has to let it go to suplex Batista. With Batista gone, the Crossface has Flair in trouble but HHH comes out for a distraction. Batista spinebusters Benoit and we take a break.

Back with Batista hammering away on Benoit and slapping on a bearhug. Flair distracts the referee and HHH manages to get inside and choke away. We hit the rear naked choke from Batista until a belly to back suplex drops Benoit. Flair comes in and takes a German suplex, allowing the double hot tags to Edge and Batista. Everything breaks down and Edge punches his way out of the Batista Bomb. The Swan Dive hits Batista but HHH pulls Benoit out. Cue Michaels to superkick HHH as Edge spears Batista for the pin and the titles. JR: “Stu Hart has gotta be smiling!” Like Stu would ever let a long match air in full on TV.

Rating: C+. The ending continues the story they have going here and Edge felt much more like his pre-injury self here than what we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. Let him be all fired up and clean house, which is what he does better than anything else. Benoit being a double champion in his hometown is a nice idea and a great way to send the fans home happy. Not a bad match either.

Overall Rating: C. Nothing great here but a perfectly watchable show that advanced the stories forward and let us have a pretty fun night of wrestling. The problem with the main event scene would be that Shawn and HHH won’t leave Benoit alone but it’s not like there’s anyone else to fight him. Orton and Batista aren’t ready and Flair wouldn’t feel like a threat. That doesn’t leave many options, but it’s pretty clear who is up next. Anyway, nice show as they leave Canada with a fun evening. Oh and where was Shelton Benjamin? Not seen once all night and only mentioned in passing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 12, 2004
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Backlash and we’ve actually got a big time main event this week. Last time, we had a huge closing angle to set up an eight man tag main event with Evolution facing off with Mick Foley/Shelton Benjamin/Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit. The question now is can they live up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the eight man tag being set up, starting with HHH being counted out against Shelton.

A bandaged Shelton yells at Eric Bischoff (with Johnny Nitro in the background, somehow still with Barbie) for letting everything happen last week. Threats are made but Shelton’s partners come in to get him out before it gets bad. Foley takes Barbie back and violence is promised later.

Here’s Foley for the opening chat. Foley tells us to be very very quiet because he’s hunting Randys. Barbie is back where she belongs but tonight, he has to hand her over to someone, just not a nimrod like Johnny Nitro. Tonight he’s going to have to follow a few rules that won’t let him do what he wants to Orton. This is going to be his first match on Raw in four years and with his incredible partners behind him, he’s going to do some Mick Foley romping and stomping.

This is one of the reasons Foley is my favorite wrestler of all time. Instead of playing multiple characters and rarely acknowledging the previous versions. Foley however is the real person who can turn into whatever he needed at the time. It’s such a different way of doing different characters and rather fascinating.

Kane vs. Grandmaster Sexay

Well there’s a surprise return. This would be Sexay’s first match on Raw since May 2001. Kane looks disgusted by his mere presence and shrugs off the early right hands. A missed elbow lets Sexay get two and an enziguri staggers Kane again. The big boot (which didn’t connect) puts Sexay down and it’s the side slam into the chokeslam for the pin. Not as much of a squash as you would have expected.

Trish Stratus is annoyed at having to face Chris Jericho on Sunday. Eugene comes up and recognizes the makeup lady but calls Trish s***. William Regal comes in for the save and Christian calms her down. He’ll do the work on Sunday and Trish can get the pin.

Tajiri vs. Five Star Ninja

Feeling out process to start with Tajiri getting the better of a wristlock battle. The Ninja strikes away but gets kicked in the arms, followed by the handspring elbow. Tajiri goes for the mask but gets kicked in the back of the head. King: “Don’t tug on Superman’s cape and don’t ever try to unmask a ninja.” The referee gets poked in the eye and doesn’t see Coach break up the Tarantula with a cheap shot. That’s only good for two as JR makes fun of Coach’s screaming. Tajiri kicks him twice in a row for the fast pin.

Rating: D. I’m fine with them setting up something like this as it’s an actual story with a reason for the two to be fighting and a way to get to the match. That’s more than you get with a lot of the things around here so somehow, this is better than a lot of the current stories. Not bad, especially considering how low level this is.

Of course it’s Snow.

Ric Flair yells at Bischoff about Shelton and gets a match with him at Backlash. He opens the door and is immediately punched out by Shelton, who seems to become the only wrestler in history to actually watch the show live on a monitor. A beatdown ensues and Flair is left laying.

HHH talks about how the main event of Wrestlemania was great but now they all have something to prove. Benoit needs to prove that it wasn’t a fluke. Shawn needs to prove that he’s still the Showstopper. HHH will prove that he’s still the best in the world.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with JR mentioning that this is the arena where Jericho debuted. Jericho can’t wait for Backlash because he’ll finally be getting the match he’s wanted since Wrestlemania. What a long wait it must have been. He rips on Trish some more, saying it’s Y2J vs. CLB vs. FDDBBTH and once he gets the W, their careers will DOA and they’ll be MIA, just like DDP, forced to sell DVDs of the OC from HBO on AOL and QVC at the DMV and all the while, Trish will wish she had a little Vitamin C baby.

Jericho knows Trish likes it rough, so he starts barking. That brings up the clip of Trish barking for Vince three years ago, complete with some added sound effects. You can imagine the name that Jericho calls her as a result and brings up last week’s loss in the battle royal. That brings him to Lita, his guest for the week. Lita comes out but Trish jumps her, drawing out Bischoff to make a match.

Lita vs. Trish Stratus

Joined in progress with Trish hammering away and Jericho still at ringside. That means Christian comes out to even things up as Trish gets two off a bicycle kick. The chinlock keeps Lita down for a long time until Lita fights up with a knee in the corner. Stratusfaction is countered into a belly to back suplex and some HORRIBLE right hands keep Trish in trouble. A Russian legsweep gets two and Trish misses a charge to send her outside. Lita suicide dives onto her but Christian whips her into the barricade for the DQ.

Rating: D. Just a mess of a match and Lita’s comeback wasn’t exactly strong. I know these two are considered the greatest women ever until the Women’s Revolution but they really leave a lot to be desired more often than not. To be fair though, compared to some of the other women of their era, they were leaps and bounds ahead and I get why they’re beloved.

Post match Jericho beats the heck out of Christian but takes too long going for the Walls on Trish, allowing Christian to beat him down. Trish slaps Jericho in the face, allowing Christian to hit back to back Unprettiers. The Chick Kick wraps it up.

La Resistance wants to show the United States the error of their ways and they’ve moved to Quebec to be closer to their mission. As Conway goes on a rant against America, Eugene comes in behind them and plays with the Quebec flag. Regal makes the save.

Here’s Johnny Nitro for a chat. Nitro isn’t happy with what Edge did last week and would like Edge out here right now. Cue Edge, with his hand still in a cast. Nitro gets to the point: if Edge uses the cast against Kane, he’s suspended. Edge doesn’t care and spears Nitro down.

Sylvan Grenier vs. Hurricane

Feeling out process to start with Hurricane scaring him down off the superhero pose. A cheap shot in the corner doesn’t work for Grenier but he drops Hurricane ribs first across the top rope. Grenier knees him in the ribs a few times and sends Hurricane into the corner to stay on the ribs. We hit the abdominal stretch as Lawler thinks JR should steal Hurricane’s mask and be the Lone Ranger. A gutbuster gets two….and here’s Eugene with a stuffed bunny for Conway. That’s a no so he tries Grenier instead, with the bunny being ripped in half. The distraction sets up the Eye of the Hurricane to end Grenier.

Rating: D-. While Trish vs. Lita wasn’t very good, this was just really dull and there’s no other way to put it. La Resistance as the evil French (Canadian) guys isn’t interesting and putting them with Eugene isn’t going to make that any better. It’s a case of characters not working and WWE chugging away with them anyway because they don’t know when to give up, which is never a good idea.

Shawn Michaels has been asked how he’s going to top the Wrestlemania triple threat. It’s easy: He’s Shawn Michaels and that’s what he does. Three men are going to try to top what they did, but only one is walking out World Heavyweight Champion. “Why? Because I’m Shawn Michaels.” is the most Shawn answer ever and also rather accurate.

Smackdown Rebound, looking at JBL becoming #1 contender because there’s nothing else going on around there.

Video on Mick Foley’s history of violence, including clips of the Japanese death matches. This is just a way to catch the newer fans up and that’s fine.

Orton is very scared as he realizes what he’s gotten himself into.

Backlash rundown.

Chris Benoit talks about Wrestlemania being the biggest night of his life. It wasn’t about luck because it was all the hard work paying off. He’s going to do it again at Backlash and luck will have nothing to do with it. These short promos have all been very good.

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit/Shelton Benjamin/Mick Foley

Shawn and Flair get things started in a good idea, though there aren’t many bad combinations to be found here. Flair gets sent into the corner and Shawn gives us a strut and WOO. A slap to the face sets up the Flair Flop, which still gets a reaction because it’s a funny spot. Some chops set up the backdrop and it’s off to Foley for the running knee lift. A right hand knocks Flair into the falling tag to HHH….which doesn’t count for whatever reason. The announcers sound confused as well and I can’t blame them.

Anyway, Benoit comes in to fire off some chops to Flair, who crawls over to tag HHH. This one counts, despite the referee’s back being to them this time. I know he’s been around forever but come on Chioda. Benoit throws HHH from corner to corner, including a trip to the good corner for some shots to the head. The jumping knee gets HHH out of trouble but it’s way too early for the Pedigree. It’s not too early for the Sharpshooter though and everything breaks down (BIG pop for that). Evolution is cleared out and Shawn dives onto everyone but Orton.

Back from a break with Benoit in trouble and HHH coming in sans tag (it doesn’t really matter) to choke away. Some chops to Flair allow the first hot tag to Foley for a right hand to knock Orton off the apron. The running knee in the corner rocks Flair and Shelton springboards in with a clothesline. A low bridge sends Benjamin to the floor though and HHH whips him into the corner for bad measure.

Back in and Shelton fights out of the corner until a spinebuster plants him all over again. The abdominal stretch goes on (with Orton pulling from the apron) for a bit until Foley comes in for a save. That’s not enough for the save though as Flair hammers away to keep Benjamin in trouble. We haven’t seen much from Batista so he gets to stomp on Benjamin’s ribs until a Dragon Whip finally allows the hot tag to Michaels. Shawn cleans house and hits the flying forearm on Orton, only to nip up into Batista’s big clothesline.

Everything breaks down and Shawn drops the top rope elbow on Orton. Sweet Chin Music hits Flair but Shawn walks into an RKO. It takes a long time to cover though, allowing Benoit to make the save with a Swan Dive. Foley backdrops HHH to the floor to break up a Pedigree and grabs the Mandible Claw on Orton. Batista makes the save but Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music on Orton for the pin.

Rating: B+. Who knew that putting eight highly talented wrestlers, including some of the best ever, in a long match with some very good young guys and letting them all do something would result in an awesome match? The crowd ate this up and the fact that they had so many Backlash matches in one showcase was all the better. This was a blast and flew by with a great ending to make it even better. Check this out if you get the chance.

Benoit and Shawn stare each other down as HHH pulls himself up between them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, this did what matters most for a go home show by making me want to see the pay per view. They built things up, even if the stories aren’t that great in the first place (Coach vs. Tajiri). The big matches look awesome though and the show has the potential to be outstanding, with this being the last big push that it might have needed. The main event is the only thing worth seeing, but the show did its job.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 5, 2004
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re less than two weeks away from Backlash and things are already starting to come together. It’s a rare case of the Raw crew being miles ahead of their Smackdown brethren as the combined forces of Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and Shelton Benjamin fight Evolution. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shelton beating HHH. Still a very nice surprise.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH (with his music only starting halfway down the ramp) to open things up. He’s not happy with some young punk coming over from Smackdown and thinking he can get in the ring with the greatest wrestler alive today. Then the guy (HHH won’t say his name) actually WINS and gets his hand raised. It was just a fluke though and it’s not happening again in a million years.

Just like Chris Benoit beating HHH again in a rematch of the greatest main event in Wrestlemania history. See, this time Benoit is in the same place that HHH was in before: he doesn’t even have to get beaten to lose the title. The odds are stacked so high against Benoit in the first place but when you consider that both triple threat matches include HHH, it’s just impossible.

Cue Shelton Benjamin to brag about winning, much to HHH’s annoyance. Shelton actually challenges him to a rematch tonight but HHH doesn’t sound impressed. He turns the rematch down but it’s him doing a favor for Shelton. No one beats HHH. Shelton: “Correction: I did.” That’s enough for HHH to accept the rematch for tonight. HHH: “It’s going to be the greatest wrestler in the world vs…..what the h*** ever your name is.” Shelton laughs it off because after tonight, HHH can call him Mr. Benjamin. Longer than necessary (as always with HHH) but the no name thing was great and Shelton sounded good.

Video on the recent trip to Mexico.

Chris Benoit vs. Rob Conway

Non-title. Hang on though as Johnny Nitro (now coming out to the old Nitro theme song for a little flashback) is guest referee again, despite his arm being in a sling. Benoit goes straight to the chops but stops to yell at Nitro. Sylvan Grenier grabs the champ’s foot and Conway rakes the eyes. A snap suplex gets two and it’s off to a neck crank.

Benoit powers out and throws more chops, followed by a backbreaker for two. A snap suplex to Conway takes out Nitro so La Resistance comes in for what would eventually become known as the Magic Killer, which gets two from a replacement referee (who apparently saw the bump but not the interference). The Crossface makes Conway tap.

Rating: C-. Conway’s time on offense wasn’t the best but Benoit didn’t have much trouble and beat up a team who wasn’t exactly intimidating in the first place. Nitro makes for a nice little pest and hopefully they leave it at that instead of going with Benoit vs. Bischoff in the same old story.

The returning William Regal comes in to see Bischoff but Eric isn’t sure he can have a job. After a discussion of Regal joining Vince’s club, Bischoff says he’s brought Regal here to manage a special talent. He’s in his 20s, 6’1 and 240lbs and a very “special” talent. His name is Eugene Dinsmore, and Regal thankfully agrees.

Chris Jericho vs. Matt Hardy

Matt has broken his nose three times and never over-orders in restaurants. Trish Stratus and Christian bring a chair to the stage and watch the match, allowing Matt to get in a cheap shot from behind to start. An elbow to the back sets up Matt pulling on both of Jericho’s arms but Jericho scores with the running bulldog. The Lionsault misses and the Walls are broken up so Jericho hits the running enziguri instead. Now the Walls are enough to make Matt tap.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here but it gives Jericho a win for the sake of some momentum, which he really needs after everything that’s happened to him in recent weeks. Matt’s losing streak continues because that’s his lot in life for some reason. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere, but this wasn’t really supposed to be competitive.

Christian kisses Trish to mess with Jericho some more.

Mick Foley is sitting in a rocking chair with a box over his lap and a flower in his hand. As he smells the flower, he talks about never forgetting your first time. During his career, he would pick up a few during the week, use them for a few days, and hand them off to a lucky fan. He means the flannel shirts of course, and he got his first one in 1977. The other day he found the original one, and that brought him back to the hardcore state of mind.

Hardcore isn’t about chairs or trashcans, but about being willing to put himself through unimaginable pain for the sake of the fans. When he went to Japan and took part in some barbaric matches, he did what he had to do for the sake of paying the bills. Foley has sworn that he would never do that again or even watch the matches, but now he’s seen them all fresh. He did some inhumane things but they didn’t catch his eyes.

No it was his eyes that caught his eye because deep down, maybe there was a little part of him that didn’t mind hurting people like that. Maybe deep down he loves it. Foley did those things to people he didn’t hate so what is he going to do to someone like Orton, who has done so many things to him?

Everyone promises to hurt someone, but that’s not what Foley is going to do to Orton. He’s going to use one of his old friends named Barbie (which he takes out of the box) and use it to cave Orton’s skull in, drawing the kind of blood usually reserved for special effects in Mel Gibson Biblical epics. Foley uses Barbie to break the set and promises to love it. This was the Foley that we’ve been needing to see and you believe every word he said.

Orton watches this and is as scared as he should be. Flair’s pep talk doesn’t work this time, nor does HHH talking about beating Shelton.

Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Before the match, Flair is in the ring and demands his own introduction. According to Bischoff, anyone out here must be on official business. Therefore, Flair is your announcer, Batista is timekeeper, and Orton is the official trainer (complete with stool and spit bucket). JR: “This is starting to reek like nine week old cheese.” HHH is all annoyed and punches him into the corner to start.

A crossbody gives Shelton two so JR lists off all of his college accolades. HHH cuts him off with a spinebuster and throws Shelton outside for a drop onto the barricade from Batista. Back in and Shelton scores with some right hands until a facebuster cuts him off again. HHH shouts a lot but charges into a raised boot as Lawler is starting to get a little nervous. The Stinger Splash (which finished HHH last week) sends HHH outside with Shelton catapulting HHH into the post for the countout win.

Rating: D. The wrestling was nothing but that’s not the point here. Shelton gets another win over HHH and even defeats the forces of Evolution to pull it off. He already has the pinfall win so while the countout wasn’t as impressive, it’s a huge relief to have HHH lose again instead of getting his win back. I’m not sure how smart it is to do this before he’s main eventing a pay per view, but this could be more important in the long term.

Post match the Evolution beatdown is on with Shelton being busted open. Benoit, Michaels and Foley (with Barbie) make the save.

After a break, Bischoff storms the commentary booth and says Shelton is going to the hospital. Benoit, Michaels and Foley are getting yelled at later.

Battle Royal

Lita, Jazz, Nidia, Molly Holly, Stacy Keibler, Gail Kim, Trish Stratus

That goes nowhere so here’s Jericho to cheer for Lita. You know, the other person involved in his bet with Christian. Trish hangs on as Lawler is worried about her damaged pectoral muscles. Jericho trips Trish though and Lita dropkicks her out (through the bottom two ropes) for the title shot.

Rating: F. Sweet goodness what’s the point? No really, I’d love an explanation of why this was a seven woman battle royal when about three seconds of the four and a half minutes that we saw had more than two people involved. Just do a triple threat match or something but don’t do this, which was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen them air match wise.

Smackdown rebound, looking at the Great American Award Nominee matches.

Regal finds Eugene and let’s just get this over with. Eugene is of course mentally handicapped (you know the word they’re likely going to skirt around) and can barely say anything besides his own name. He does have a nametag saying “Hello, my name is Eugene.” Regal gets a hug and Eugene says “manager”. Regal calls Bischoff a dirty rotten swine.

Coach comes out to commentary to show Tajiri misting him last week.

Christian tells Trish that the match against Jericho at Backlash is actually a handicap match. Trish is NOT happy.

Christian vs. Tajiri

Coach is on commentary. Christian shrugs off some early kicks and it’s already time for Coach to come to the ring. Back up and Tajiri hits the handspring elbow, followed by the Tarantula. The Unprettier is broken up with another kick but Coach breaks up the Buzzsaw kick with a trip. Now the Unprettier connects to give Christian the fast pin.

Backlash rundown.

Regal leaves Eugene outside of Bischoff’s office before going inside to say Bischoff can’t put him with that window licker. Bischoff freaks out because Eugene has been left alone (like he was when Regal found him) and of course he’s gone. Eugene is now on commentary with Lawler saying “special” over and over. Lawler says Eugene’s gear is wacky so Eugene starts walking around like the Bushwhackers and licks Jerry. Regal comes in for the save and gets rid of Eugene, as this is already looking bad.

Kane vs. Rhyno

Rhyno gets jumped before the bell and Kane wraps his arm around the post. Back up and Rhyno slugs away, followed by a flying shoulder which breaks the middle rope. That always looks cool. The Gore gets two but Kane pops up with a big boot and the chokeslam for the pin. I wonder if the broken rope made that one shorter.

Post match here’s Edge, with a cast on his hand, for the brawl. Kane gets the better of it but goes for a chair, allowing Edge to lay him out with a cast shot.

Benoit and Michaels don’t think much of Bischoff’s orders to meet him in the ring. Last week’s near title win was awesome so Shawn has his back anytime. Until Backlash that is. Foley comes in and says they’re united tonight. Johnny Nitro shows up and makes Foley put the bat down. If anything happens to it, Nitro is responsible. Benoit hits Nitro in the bad arm.

Here’s Bischoff for the big show closing yelling. Benoit, Michaels and Foley come in and Bischoff makes an eight man tag with the three of them teaming up to face Evolution next week. Evolution’s music plays and they try to come in from behind so the fight can be on. HHH sledgehammers Shawn in the back and chairs Benoit down. A Pedigree onto the chair plants Benoit and Evolution stands tall with HHH holding the title up to end the show. Nice segment here and it’s going to make Shelton look all the more important when he’s there to even the odds next week.

Overall Rating: C+. They’re actually going somewhere at the moment and that’s a lot more than I was expecting. Benjamin is starting to get a push and putting him in the main event with that level of talent is a good sign for him. Jericho and Christian are still going pretty strong and we’ll see what can come out of the Edge vs. Kane stuff. Some of the stuff isn’t all that great, but there’s clearly a point to most of the stuff (even Coach vs. Tajiri is a story) and that’s WAY better than some the stuff this company was doing just a year or so ago.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 29, 2004
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first week with the new cast of characters and hopefully we can get something a little better than having the new wrestlers in completely run of the mill (at best) matches like last week’s Smackdown. HHH is already back on Raw, having never actually gone to Smackdown in the first place. You can’t have the company’s diamond on the B show or something like that. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s Draft Lottery and the trade that brought HHH back to Raw while sending Booker T. and the Dudley Boyz over to Smackdown.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Evolution, minus HHH, to open things up. Flair talks about being thrilled to defend the Tag Team Titles against Chris Benoit/Shawn Michaels tonight but they’re much happier about HHH being back in the Raw locker room. That’s it for the good stuff though, as Flair is tired of the lack of respect around here. There’s no respect for HHH and there’s no respect for Randy Orton, who defeated the hardcore champion (little slip there) Mick Foley at Wrestlemania.

More respect is demanded and Orton, who had a tonsillectomy last week, says he knows that Foley is a coward. Cue Foley to say Orton proved himself at Wrestlemania. That match showed that in a 3-2 situation, Orton can defeat a Hollywood actor and a guy who writes children’s books. That’s why Foley wants a one on one chance to face Orton at Backlash for the Intercontinental Title in a street fight with Evolution banned from ringside. In other words, if Orton agrees, he gets hurt. Orton actually agrees and Flair starts the pep talking.

La Resistance and Garrison Cade (Huh?) tell Tajiri to mist the next guy who comes through the door as his welcome to Raw. Eventually Coach comes in so screaming and flailing can ensue. The French guys say he’s in trouble because Coach is Eric Bischoff’s boy.

Nidia vs. Molly Holly

Let’s see how good Molly, who now has curly brown hair, really is. Molly takes her down with a judo throw and sends Nidia to the apron. That means a hard posting and Molly wraps the banged up arm around the ropes. The arm gets wrenched down some more but it’s fine enough to catapult Molly into the corner. A northern lights suplex gets two so Nidia pulls off the wig, setting up a rollup for the surprise pin. Nothing wrong with this one, though I don’t think anyone is buying Nidia as anything of note.

Clip of Edge returning last week and spearing Bischoff.

Bischoff isn’t happy with the clip being aired, Edge not being here, or Johnny Spade calling him EB. Edge gets Kane at Backlash.

Hurricane comes out for a match but HHH jumps him from behind. HHH doesn’t think much of the locker room being glad he was traded last week. Those people meant so little that Bischoff traded three of them to get him back. Bischoff wants this show to be the biggest in the world, which is why he needs HHH right here.

Now that he’s back on Raw (after being gone a total of zero weeks), Bischoff is going to come out here right now and give him the World Title shot at Backlash instead of Shawn Michaels. Bischoff comes out for some sucking up but since he’s already given Shawn the title shot and doesn’t want to annoy Steve Austin, he’ll just make another triple threat match. I’m really not sure that they should be running a rematch just a month later with no changes. But hey, we wouldn’t want to be without HHH.

Post break Batista yells at Shelton Benjamin for laughing at HHH last week. HHH knocks him into a cabinet and welcomes him to Raw.

Here’s Lance Storm for a chat. Storm says cut his bad music because he can’t stand it anymore. The having fun hasn’t gotten him anywhere because everyone is still mocking him. Last week he could have been drafted to Smackdown and gotten a new beginning. Cue Rhyno and it’s time for a match.

Lance Storm vs. Rhyno

Spinebuster and the Gore finish Storm in about thirty seconds.

Tajiri tries to apologize to Coach and Bischoff but Coach adds a few details to the story to get Tajiri a match with Kane instead. You kind of deserve it dude. Tajiri’s panicking is funny.

The WWE received an award from the USO.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending. Actually hang on as we have a guest referee in the form of Johnny Spade. Actually hang on again as that’s now Johnny Nitro. The threat of an early superkick sends Batista bailing to the floor, leaving Flair to have the Figure Four reversed into the Crossface. Batista makes a fast save so Shawn dives onto the two of them as the hot start continues. Somehow Batista is legal as Benoit starts in on his leg, followed by Shawn coming in for some splashes to the knee.

It’s off to Flair but Shawn takes him down into a quick Figure Four. With Nitro not knowing what to do, Flair grabs the rope for the break. Benoit chops him down in the corner and it’s already back to Batista. That doesn’t go well either as Shawn hammers away in the corner, knocks Flair off the apron, and continues punching Batista. A spinebuster finally gets Batista out of trouble as JR talks about Trish Stratus.

Flair butterfly suplexes Shawn and now it’s time for JR to complain about Nitro wearing a big belt buckle, suggesting that he’s heading to a rodeo after the show. I’ll let that one sink in for a second as the champs start in on Shawn’s ribs. Shawn gets in some chops though and it’s a double shoulder for a double knockdown. Flair goes up (JR: “Flair thinks he’s in Kentucky somewhere.”) and gets slammed down, allowing Benoit to come in and clean house.

The Sharpshooter to Flair is broken up in a few seconds so Shawn jumps Batista. A staredown with Nitro takes us to a break pretty late in the match and we come back with Benoit hitting an enziguri on Flair. Shawn comes in and everything breaks down again, with the legal Batista being knocked to the floor. The Swan Dive sets up Sweet Chin Music on Flair for the pin and the titles. The celebration doesn’t last long though as Nitro says Flair wasn’t legal so the match restarts. Shawn wastes no time in punching Nitro down for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Kind of messy at times but at least they didn’t go with the Tag Team Champions heading into a World Title match in a few weeks. The fans popped hard for the title change as you would have expected them to, though the match was nothing that hasn’t been done better before.

Post match, Nitro gets beaten up before.

Shelton comes in to Bischoff’s office and, thanks to an intervening Steve Austin, gets a match with HHH instead. I didn’t realize this was so soon after the Draft. Unless there’s a small cameo later, that’s Austin’s last appearance until next Wrestlemania.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Trish Stratus as the guest. Before she comes out though, Jericho has to promise revenge. See, he can’t do anything or he’ll get fined and suspended, but tonight is all about an explanation. This brings out Trish, doing the Jericho pose first. Trish says that Jericho can’t touch her, even if he wants to. She talks about the knee injury that kept Jericho from saving her, even though “Hello, I’m Trish Stratus.”

Christian was there for her at her hotel room though and he explained everything. Jericho just tried to use her like he used Christian. Trish is a three time Babe of the Year and he’s not even in her league. She and Christian planned all night long, plus did something else all night long. I hope not at the same time. Jericho calls her the s*** of the century and Trish freaks, as she should.

Jericho: “All I did was put my foot in my mouth, and that’s nothing compared to what you put in your mouth.” Kurt Angle isn’t the one who really sucks and Trish may be a three time Babe of the Year, but wasn’t Babe a talking pig? Jericho congratulates the CLB and the FDDBBFTBH (filthy, dirty etc.) and even starts a chant of the second, which is enough to get Trish to leave. Trish’s stuff was fine, even though it didn’t really explain anything new. Jericho’s response though was great as he had some hilarious lines and had Trish looking like she was going to kill him.

Post break Trish freaks out to Christian, who has gotten another match with Jericho at Backlash.

Tajiri vs. Kane

No DQ. Tajiri strikes away to start but the handspring elbow only knocks Kane back a step. The big boot puts Tajiri down but he ducks the top rope clothesline. The Tarantula attempt works as well as you would expect and they head to the floor. A posting has no effect so Tajiri mists him and dives back in for the countout win.

Post match Kane chokeslams Tajiri, taking away whatever limited benefit Tajiri got from the win. Edge runs in to spear Kane.

Benoit tells Benjamin to take HHH down because no one likes him. Hurricane and Mick Foley want him to do the same.

Smackdown Rebound, looking at Kurt Angle being announced as GM and the new talent making their debuts. JBL also gets a focus, because that’s the world we live in.

Flair gives HHH a pep talk.

Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Shelton now has his own generic rock music. HHH takes him into the corner to start and offers a polite slap to the face for the break. Shelton easily wrestles him down twice in a row, with a little slap of his own after the second. A shoulder drops Shelton but he pops up before HHH can even try the knee drop. The Pedigree is escaped but HHH says it was that close. A backslide gives Shelton a very close two and he does the “that close” gesture right back to HHH (which was in Shelton’s Titantron video for a long time).

HHH chops away in the corner as the fans remind HHH that he tapped out. The dragon whip gives Benjamin two and it’s off to an armbar. Cue Flair to back HHH up but Benoit follows him out and we take a break. Back with Shelton holding another armbar until HHH sends him in for the jumping knee. Shelton goes shoulder first into the post twice in a row and you can hear the relief in Lawler’s voice.

Right hands and the knee drop give HHH two and it’s time for the sleeper. You can hear Benoit playing cheerleader (there’s an image) until Shelton sends HHH face first into the buckle for the break. A jumping back elbow puts HHH down as he just can’t put Shelton away. Lawler is starting to panic a bit but HHH suplexing his way out of a sleeper calms him down a bit.

HHH dives into some raised boots (still the least believable spot in wrestling) and falls to the floor, allowing Shelton to hit a clothesline from the apron. The top rope clothesline gets two back inside and a powerslam is good for the same. A Pedigree attempt is countered into a jackknife cover for two more but Flair gets in a cheap shot. Benoit goes after Flair to distract HHH and it’s a Stinger Splash into a rollup to give Shelton the big upset.

Rating: B. So he won’t work Tuesdays but he’ll do the job on Mondays. This is the way you make someone look like a star and that’s exactly what they did here. Shelton is a great choice for a major push and it’s not like HHH is going to lose anything by putting him over here. It was even mostly clean with HHH getting distracted on his own and not being able to put Shelton away earlier. They did a good job here at making Shelton look good here though and that’s the right idea.

Overall Rating: C+. There were two good matches on the show and while I’m not wild on the triple threat rematch at Backlash, it’s hardly the worst decision in the world. Some of the weaker stuff here wasn’t great but it was mostly fast enough that it wasn’t that hard to get through. They’ve gotten rid of a lot of the worst stuff and that’s always an improvement.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 15, 2004
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,148
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the season premiere as we’re past Wrestlemania XX and Chris Benoit is the Raw World Champion. That should open up some fresh doors, but a rematch with HHH is the most likely way to go. It’s time to start getting ready for Backlash, and that could mean a few different things. Let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s HHH (you can’t make up jokes like this) with his arm in a sling and anger levels higher than normal. He can’t even speak and a BENOIT chant makes it even worse. HHH finally manages to talk, saying that one match doesn’t make someone the best. Putting a belt around your waist one time doesn’t mean a thing. It’s about defending the title night after night, month after month. That’s what makes you the best.

HHH has beaten them all every single night, which is why he woke up this morning. Yeah he tapped out and maybe that can make the fans happy. Last night was 2-1 and it took both of them to beat him. That’s how he knew he was still the best when he looked in the mirror. He’s not done with Chris Benoit, because Benoit is the new target. When the arm heals, he’s coming for Benoit, but here’s the new champ to interrupt.

Benoit beat both Shawn Michaels and HHH last night to earn this title. When the arm gets better, HHH can bring on his rematch because Benoit will make him tap over and over. HHH says not on Benoit’s best day, so Benoit hits with the belt to send HHH running. Evolution comes in and Shawn makes the save. Sounds tag matchish. Cue Eric Bischoff to make the 3-2 handicap main event but also to say that Vince McMahon is here for a huge announcement. Good opening though, as Benoit looks like a star and HHH finally gives something up.

Post break Shawn says he made the save because he wants Benoit healthy for a future title shot. Makes some sense, but wouldn’t it make more to have Benoit take a beating and then make the save?

Victoria/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Molly already has the wig on, now sporting hair down to her elbows. The chin strap doesn’t hide much either. It’s a brawl to start with Molly rubbing Victoria’s face in the mat and Jazz coming in for a legdrop. The fans chant MOLLY’S BALD as Victoria comes back with a middle rope moonsault to take Jazz down. It’s already off to Lita for some running clotheslines and a headscissors. Molly kicks her in the back though and there goes the wig, revealing a very round bald head. That sends her running, leaving Lita to DDT Jazz for the pin.

Rating: D. This was nothing but the visual gag and they were smart enough to keep things moving. There isn’t much of a reason to go with some big new angle so soon after last night’s huge show so just go with some lighthearted fallout like this. If nothing else, points to Molly for shaving the whole thing off. Not many people would do that.

Stills of Chris Jericho vs. Christian with Trish Stratus turning on Jericho for reasons that will need to be explained. Evil Trish is always worth a look.

The ticked off Jericho won’t answer any questions.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

I feel bad for Matt, who is ridiculous underrated. Jericho is as aggressive as you would expect and clotheslines the heck out of Matt before choking away. A rake to the eyes allows Matt to hit a belly to back suplex. Jerry: “Maybe Jericho and Fozzy can redo the old Rolling Stones song: I can’t get no Stratusfaction.” Jericho throws him outside and chokes with an electrical cord for the DQ. That’s the best way to go here and Matt doesn’t even lose for once.

During the break, Jericho leaves without saying a word.

Randy Orton wants Mick Foley one on one. How will Foley feel about his son Huey growing up with Orton as a role model instead of his dad? Those are fighting words.

La Resistance is here, now with the returning Sylvan Grenier and Fifi the poodle. Steve Austin comes in to stare at Fifi and gives the French b**** a ticket. He means Rene Dupree, who isn’t happy and speaks French to show off the anger. If this is where Austin is now, he might as well leave now.

Val Venis vs. Kane

Before the match, a fan gets to remove Val Venis’ towel. She’s happy enough that she tries to flash Val but the pyro cuts her off. Side slam, top rope clothesline and chokeslam in about forty seconds.

Hall of Fame ceremony video.

Miss Jackie vs. Stacy Keibler

Vince says it’s time to shake things up around here because people are getting too complacent. The fans want new superstars, new matches and new rivalries. Therefore, next week, the Smackdown superstars will be here next week for a good old fashioned lottery. Everyone from Steve Austin to Mick Foley vs. Kurt Angle to Eddie Guerrero will be in the lottery and even Vince’s relatives could be changing shows.

Post break Eric Bischoff isn’t sure what to think when Evolution comes in to say they can’t be split up. HHH demands that he stay on Raw but Bischoff says it’s out of his hands.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Van Dam and Booker are defending. Booker declines a handshake from Bubba in a bit of an out of character move. They fight over a lockup to start until Booker’s leapfrog is shoved away in what might have been a slight botch. D-Von comes in and gets clotheslined so it’s off to Van Dam for some kicks to the chest. Rob kicks Bubba down as well and brings Booker back in as the chemistry isn’t exactly flowing at the moment.

An elbow to the jaw gives Bubba….nothing as Rob made a blind tag and come in off the top with a stomp to the back. A suplex takes Booker down as the champs are wrestling as heels for some reason, despite being faces for their entire run now. It’s back to D-Von for some fast right hands and a neckbreaker gets two on Booker. Everything breaks down and the 3D hits Booker, with Van Dam making the last second save. It’s a very bad sign when one of the biggest finishers of all time gets no reaction.

Van Dam comes in and takes a running neckbreaker out of the corner to send him all the way outside. We actually take a break and come back with Van Dam hitting a spinwheel kick. Booker is still down on the floor though so Bubba comes in and smacks Van Dam in the head. Something like a brainbuster gets two and D-Von puts on a neck crank. A reverse chinlock from Bubba keeps this going because going twice as long as they should have just isn’t enough.

Rob finally kicks him away and gets over to Booker for the hot tag. Booker cleans house to very little reaction A spinebuster plants D-Von and there’s the Spinarooni. The scissors kick into the Five Star gets two on Bubba as D-Von makes the save. The Bubba Bomb is blocked and Booker hits the Book End to retain.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? I know some teams don’t have the best chemistry together but egads this felt like they were told to just go out there and fill in about twenty minutes no matter how bad it was. You don’t get to often say this but the match was about three times longer than it needed to be. If you cut this WAY down it might have been ok, but as it is it’s a long mess with the fans not caring in the slightest.

Video on last night’s show.

Spike Dudley comes out for a match but Christian and Trish Stratus jump him from behind. Christian hits an Unprettier on the floor and Trish makes a fast count. What a cheater. Christian introduces Trish for the big explanation, which starts with the big bet from Jericho (Christian’s participation is forgotten, as is Lita’s). Trish: “What kind of a cheap s*** do you think that I am anyway?”

It’s a shame that Chris’ night ended prematurely because she wound up screwing him instead. Well, actually screwing someone else. Christian insults New Jersey and says he won because he got the girl. Trish didn’t want someone who was bringing her flowers and candy because she was looking for something a little more rough. It’s Jericho’s fault that he won’t be getting any Stratusfaction. Kissing ensues.

La Resistance is panicking about being split but Dupree isn’t letting Austin get under his skin. Grenier will be here keeping Fifi company.

Here’s Dupree for a chat. There is a bad perception that the French are nothing but cowards. He raises the French flag to prove otherwise though and the Americans will learn that soon. A French rant brings out Austin to beat the heck out of Dupree without saying a word. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit

HHH is out with the trio. Batista clotheslines Shawn’s head off to start and it’s off to Flair for a little less success. Some chops and a backdrop have Flair in trouble and Benoit comes in to keep it going. One heck of an elbow drops Flair and a snap suplex has him screaming, which to be fair isn’t the hardest job in the world. Benoit gets taken into the corner for some forearms from Orton but you don’t keep a new World Champion down for very long. Instead it’s Shawn coming in and taking the backbreaker (you can keep old Shawn’s down pretty easily)….and we see Foley arriving in the back.

The referee gets bumped and everything breaks down with Evolution taking over due to the power of numbers. Cue Foley to hammer on Orton though and send him into the crowd. With the numbers even, Shawn forearms Flair and nips up for the top rope elbow. HHH comes in with a Pedigree to cut off Sweet Chin Music (so much for the arm) and Flair gets a delayed two. For reasons of pure stupidity and overconfidence, Flair goes up and comes right back down.

We settle back down to Batista hitting the spinebuster for two on Shawn and slapping on the chinlock. Flair comes in to drop a knee and Shawn is busted open again. He’s fine enough to roll Flair up for two but can’t follow up. For some reason Flair is down too, meaning the hot tag can bring in Benoit. The German suplexes start up in a hurry, followed by the Swan Dive for two on Batista, who powers out without much effort. HHH comes in again but a Pedigree to Benoit is broken up with some Sweet Chin Music. Another superkick drops Flair and Batista taps to the Sharpshooter.

Rating: C+. You can see where things are going from here, assuming nothing changes next week in the Lottery. Foley vs. Orton was pretty clearly not over yet and you could guess about Shawn and HHH going after Benoit even more. The match itself was fun, though I question having Batista take the fall when you have Flair available to give up instead.

Overall Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird show as nothing really happened this week (the Lottery announcement is big, but for next week). Instead it felt like a recharged version of the stories continuing, which was fine as a lot of them were advanced last night. That long tag match in the middle ruined things though and there was no coming back from it. The other problem is how everything changes next week, leaving a lot of this rather useless. Not a bad show, but you wouldn’t have guessed it was the post-Wrestlemania show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 2004
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that likely means a slower than average night. In this case we do have the return of the Rock, which almost guarantees at least some energy. There’s a good chance that there won’t be much wrestling as WWE isn’t going to want to risk an injury six days before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The arena is full of smoke and Gregorian chanting while a dirty casket is in the ring. I’m thinking the return of Mantaur too.

Opening sequence.

Back in the arena, Lawler thinks Kane might have something to do with this and here’s Kane to prove Lawler right. How nice of them to not keep us waiting. His music is replaced by the chanting as he gets in the ring and turns the casket over, revealing the Urn inside. Kane throws the casket out (breaking the lid off in the process), leaving the mat covered in dirt and mud. He wants to know if this is the best Undertaker can do after weeks of teasing his return. An empty casket and an urn full of ashes?

The Urn is thrown out as well because it’s going to take more than empty promises to defeat him. At Wrestlemania, Undertaker’s Streak and his legacy are done, for good this time. Kane is NOT afraid of him….and there’s the gong. Lightning goes off and the ring starts rising off the ground (you don’t see that every day) and panic ensues. The screen says “This Sunday, it all begins again.” The impressive part: even though it hasn’t been full time in a good many years, the run that would begin on Sunday has gone on longer Undertaker’s entire WWE run up to that point.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T./Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak/La Resistance

The Dudleys qualified for Sunday’s title match after beating Lance Storm and Val Venis last night on Heat. Conway hits Bubba in the back to start as the fans already want tables. It’s off to Dupree, who gets taken down by a neckbreaker because Bubba doesn’t like French guys. Rolling Thunder gets two as JR and King list off other big shows to describe Wrestlemania.

Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and Jindrak comes in for the armbar. A pair of kicks to the head eventually get Rob out of trouble and over to the corner for the hot tag to Booker. That means even more kicks and a Book End to Jindrak with everyone coming in for the save. Dupree gets in a shot to the back of Booker’s head and Jindrak gets the pin with a clothesline. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania, not Survivor Series.

Rating: D. I get what they were going for here but I’m not going to buy Jindrak and Cade as threats to anything, let alone the Tag Team Titles. I know Evolution wasn’t exactly great with the titles but they were better than most of these goofs. This whole match shows how weak the division is as while the teams are at least different, I have no reason to care about most of them. This whole thing could be left off of Wrestlemania and the only people who would care are these eight guys.

The winners argue over who should get credit for the win.

Chris Jericho is on the phone with Trish Stratus and does that weird kind of talking where he repeats everything the other person is saying that you would never do. He’s going to take out some aggression on Christian this Sunday but Christian jumps him from behind. Christian says he left her boyfriend in Trish’s favorite position: flat on his back.

During the break, Christian bailed in a waiting car.

King has a Wrestlemania pizza delivered as part of a sponsorship deal. Unfortunately they never actually say the name of the company that delivered the pizza so it’s kind of missing the point.

Booker and Van Dam are upset about losing, but Van Dam manages to get in his pose.

Tonight: This Is Your Life Mick Foley. Therefore, we get a clip of This Is Your Life Rock. That still holds up, just from the chemistry between these two.

Rock arrives and runs into his biggest nemesis: Hurricane and Rosey. Hurricane brags about beating Rock, but that was just the Scorpion King. Tonight live though, it’s the Rock. It’s all cool though because he Hurricane liked Walking Tall. Rosey on the other hand got lost and wound up seeing Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.

Hurricane isn’t wild on Rock’s goatee because it reminds him of Coach, who is right behind Rock. Coach, whose height always surprises me, thinks Rock is stealing his look but Rock goes into a rant about Coach kissing up to Bischoff. Eventually Coach gets shoved away and Rock gives Hurricane and Rosey a pep talk.

Evolution vs. Hurricane/Rosey

That better be a heck of a pep talk. Flair punches away at Hurricane in the corner and hits a quick belly to back suplex. Orton comes in to kick at the knee and it’s off to Batista for a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Hurricane before Rosey is ever tagged in.

Evolution beats up Rosey post match. Orton says this is Rock and Foley’s life: two pathetic comebacks that end in embarrassment on Sunday. There is no stopping Evolution.

Video on the issues between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit, which resulted in HHH standing tall again.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy

I wonder if Matt, who never irons his clothes and occasionally cheats on his diet, can last as long as Rosey and Hurricane. Matt talks trash and says Benoit winning the title doesn’t matter because he’s V1. That earns him a backbreaker and a snap suplex so Matt tries bailing to the floor. Back in and Matt grabs a Side Effect for two but gets caught in the rolling German suplexes. The Crossface makes Matt tap in a hurry. To recap: Jindrak and Cade are on Wrestlemania but Matt is stuck in this role?

Post match JR gets in the ring to talk to Benoit about how long he’s worked to get here. Benoit is getting in the ring with two of the best ever and he’s coming out on top. Cue Shawn to say he appreciates what Benoit has accomplished more than anyone, but for Shawn, it’s about end a “nearly ten year grudge with HHH”.

Oh come on. HHH debuted in WCW in February 1994, didn’t start hanging out with Shawn until the summer of 1997, and if you REALLY stretch and say their issues started the day HHH took over DX, it’s less than six years. It’s more like a year and a half, which is still way shorter than Benoit’s 18 year path to the title.

Benoit doesn’t want to hear it (good man) because Wrestlemania is about walking out as World Heavyweight Champion. Violence is teased but Shawn eventually wishes him good luck. They shake hands but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks this whole thing is ridiculous because he shouldn’t have to defend the title against two men in one night. The two of them made a pact to take the title from HHH so they need to get used to disappointment.

HHH always overcomes the odds and manipulates the situation to always be in his advantage. He’s always found a way to have an edge and this Sunday that’s their egos. Shawn’s ego isn’t going to let him leave with the title because he’ll have to be the best, which is all the edge that HHH needs. I know it’s the main event of Wrestlemania but HHH almost didn’t need to be here. The Shawn/Benoit section alone was quite good.

Foley runs into Spike Dudley for a preview of tonight’s This Is Your Life. I have no idea why this needed to be included.

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Molly is extra aggressive to start and chokes on the rope and gets two off a backbreaker. We’re already in the chinlock as JR hypes up Wrestlemania as being over four hours long. I pine for those days. Lita fights up with a sloppy headscissors and the reverse Twist of Fate for a pair of twos. Back up and Molly gets a rollup, grabbing the rope for the fast pin.

Post match Molly goes for Lita’s hair but Victoria runs in for the save as the rapid fire last second pushing continues.

We look back at Austin running over Vince’s limo last week.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg. It started at the Royal Rumble when they stared and sneered a lot, followed by Brock causing Goldberg to be eliminated. Goldberg cost Lesnar the Smackdown World Title next month and the Wrestlemania match was made. Steve Austin was added as guest referee to try and keep things interesting, at least partially because Goldberg is only showing up for the big match and not TV. Lesnar must have been taking notes. With Goldberg gone until Wrestlemania, Lesnar F5’d Austin last week and stole his ATV.

Here’s Austin for a chat and a beer. Austin has been speared and taken an F5 so he really doesn’t care what happens. He’ll be playing by the rules on Sunday but if someone wants to get physical, Austin is read to hand out knuckle sandwiches. Before we get there though, he needs to go to Atlantic City for some drinking and gambling but he’s also heading to Smackdown to get his ATV back. A quick recap wraps things up as Austin really didn’t have anything to say here.

We look back at Christian attacking Trish two weeks ago to put her on the shelf.

Chris Jericho vs. Steven Richards

Before the match, we see Christian’s attack earlier tonight, including him leaving after. Jericho has a cut on his head as a nice souvenir. Richards gets knocked down as he gets in with Jericho needing to blow off some steam. He’s a little too hotheaded to start and gets sent into the post twice in a row, followed by a quite logical armbar from Richards. The comeback doesn’t take long and Jericho tries the Walls but here’s Christian to Trish’s music. The distraction lets Richards grab the cheap rollup pin.

Post match Jericho sends Richards into the steps.

Hall of Fame video. It’s still an interesting class but lacking a top name.

Wrestlemania rundown with Michael Cole and Tazz joining us for the Smackdown matches.

Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda are in the back to talk about their Playboy match (when you can’t get in the arena on the go home show, it shows where you are on the card). After singing about bringing milkshakes to the yard (hence why this is off the Network), Johnny Blaze comes in but calls himself Johnny Spade (The multiple last names begin. Also of note: Johnny Spade was the name of a longtime Ohio Valley Wrestling mainstay so it’s not exactly an original name.). He’s willing to be their manager and even gives them a card. Johnny leaves and Eric Bischoff comes in, saying Johnny is made for this. And moving on.

Here’s Rock for This Is Your Life. Rock promises to win on Sunday so let’s get Foley out here right now. After a quick introduction, confetti falls and we get the famous video of Foley diving off of a house. The first guest: the woman who owned the house, Mrs. Doris Snyder! Foley: “I remember her!”

It’s a little old lady and Foley remembers eating milk, cookies and pie from her porch. A misunderstanding ensues with Foley saying all the kids, including the girls came up for pie. Foley: “Stray dogs too.” Rock: “STRAY DOGS???” Snyder is no longer opening her porch for pie but she is leaving her back door open for strudel. Rock panics again and tells her to stand in the corner so she’ll stop checking him out. I remember this one live and Rock’s reactions are incredible.

Next up: the Snuka vs. Muraco cage match, with Foley hanging out with the other 184 future wrestlers who were all in the building that night. Therefore, our second guest is Jimmy Snuka himself. Foley is thrilled to see his idol and offers Snuka to come to Wrestlemania. Rock talks about Snuka’s crazed 80s promos (the word he uses) where no one knew what Snuka was saying.

Snuka doesn’t like that, but Snyder grabs Rock’s arm. Rock: “Tell the Rock you are not looking at the Superfly’s a**!” Snuka: “Brother Rock, the Superfly loves pie!” Foley: “This is excellent!” Rock tells them to go get a room at Holiday Inn on her with Foley saying she was quite a gymnast in her day.

With the two of them gone, Rock talks about Foley’s writing career. The third guest: Bob Thompson, the first person to ever review Have A Nice Day. Foley says cut the music because Thompson found the book boring because wrestling, and wrestling fans, were idiots. The fans are all over the guy (as they should be) but Rock says Thompson represents everyone who has ever told Foley no.

The critics have been wrong, just like the people who say they can’t beat Evolution at Wrestlemania. Thompson criticizes Walking Tall and yeah there’s the sock in his mouth. Dude had it coming. Cue Evolution for the brawl (without talking first, as it should be) but Rock breaks up the triple powerbomb. That’s it for the comeback though as the Batista Bomb lays Rock out to end the show. This was long but Rock more than carried it, with his facial expressions over Snyder and Snuka being hysterical. Check this out if you have the time.

Overall Rating: C+. The Raw before Wrestlemania is always a different kind of show and that has to be taken into account. This is a night where the wrestling isn’t the point because it’s all about hyping you up for the big show. They actually did that too, as I came into this not really looking forward to Sunday and came out wanting to watch it again, at least a little bit more than I did earlier.

The big stuff with Rock and Foley was great, the first half of the Shawn/HHH/Benoit segment was good and everything got a little time (save for Goldberg of course, but that match and story has been such a mess that it’s not even a surprise anymore). As a stand alone show it doesn’t work, but for a go home show it did what it was supposed to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 1, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Last week saw three matches added to Wrestlemania, which makes sense given how soon the show is actually taking place. There are still a few things to hammer out though and that can be done in the next two weeks. Maybe they can find a better way to do things than by just having Vince stand in the ring and make matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince making Undertaker vs. Kane, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar and the Playboy tag match last week. That’s certainly a way to set up a show in a hurry.

Opening sequence, which is cut off by Austin’s entrance to deal with La Resistance, who are protesting in the ring. You don’t see that very often and it’s a cool way to open the show. One Stunner drops Rob Conway and Sylvan Grenier runs away. Austin wants to deal with Lesnar and still isn’t happy with Goldberg spearing him a few weeks back. He’s going to call the match right down the middle but he’s ready to beat either one of them up at a moment’s notice.

Before he can get to the closing catchphrase, here’s Vince McMahon for a flashback showdown. Vince thinks Austin is a lousy referee and is going to get beaten up by both guys at Wrestlemania. Wouldn’t that make Vince very happy? Vince makes fun of Austin’s ATV so Austin runs down its specifics and thinks Vince has a 15-20 yard head start.

The chase is on and Vince bails to the parking lot where his limo is waiting. Austin drives over that (with a convenient camera inside the card) and Vince gets away. This was a big long ad for Goldberg vs. Lesnar without having Goldberg or Lesnar because things are getting a little screwy behind the scenes. When all else fails, go with Austin vs. Vince again because warming it up again six years later can’t hurt.

Victoria/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Molly and Jazz get in an argument before the bell so Jazz walks out on the match. Victoria rolls Molly up for the pin in about thirty seconds. Jazz leaving didn’t change a thing.

Post match Molly beats the heck out of Victoria and pulls out some of her hair.

We look at the issues between Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels over the last few weeks.

Michaels doesn’t think he and Benoit can get along.

John Hennigan comes in to see Eric Bischoff and dubs himself Johnny Blaze. Some sucking up works as Bischoff makes him his apprentice. Austin comes in and stares Bischoff down as Bischoff says he had nothing to do with Lesnar last week. Now it’s Molly coming in demanding a rematch at Wrestlemania. Since she has Victoria’s hair in her hand, Austin makes it title vs. hair.

Molly panics at the idea of being bald. Austin: “You got a problem with bald headed people?” Hennigan tries to offer a handshake and gets a hard stare before Austin leaves. Apparently Molly and Victoria were told they couldn’t have a regular match but jumped at the chance for a hair match as it was the only way they were getting on the card. That’s some dedication to your craft.

Rosey/Hurricane vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

The winners are in the four way for the title at Wrestlemania. Hurricane spins out of a wristlock to start and stops Cade with the superhero pose. It’s already off to Rosey for a kick to the chest and some superheroic arm cranking. The young guys try to pound Hurricane down to no avail so it’s a backbreaker for some more success.

A slam gives Cade two, showing off those developmental skills. Cade puts on a reverse chinlock but the power of a finger bite gets Hurricane out. It’s back to Rosey for the big Samoan drop but Jindrak hits a LOUD left hand to knock him off the top. A rollup with tights gives Cade the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D-. That’s one of the least necessary Wrestlemania appearances I can think of. You can almost guarantee a three way for the titles but the world was waiting for the thing to become a four way. Cade and Jindrak are a nothing team that barely ever even gets on the roster but they’re getting a Wrestlemania title shot? Why? Just to expand a match? That’s not exactly the best idea in the world.

Benoit only trusts himself, including in the tag match tonight.

Clip of Mick Foley’s great interview from last week where he got upset and promised to be here for revenge tonight.

Here’s Rico in the ring to introduce Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to showcase their evening gowns. Rico: “These ladies are so hot they even make Rico melt.” I have no idea why I’m supposed to be more interested in seeing them in long gowns than the usual very revealing outfits they were but WWE has some weird notions. Rico talks about how gorgeous they are over and over again until Kane finally comes out (seemed like a missed cue).

In a surprising display of chivalry, Rico charges at him and then gets back up to save the women again. He gets chokeslammed for it but at least he tried. Kane promises to persecute Undertaker at Biblical proportions at Wrestlemania. I’m not sure what that means but Kane knows how to make it scary. The gong goes off and the blue lights come on, followed by an Undertaker symbol bursting into flames. JR thinks Kane might be afraid. Thanks for clarifying that the guy who looks terrified is actually scared.

Shawn and Benoit are in the back and nearly come to blows before their match. Benoit acts kindly by allowing Shawn to go first, though it might be due to Shawn’s music playing.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Benoit gets to start with Batista and drop toeholds him into the buckle. With Batista staggered, Benoit just launches himself for a forearm to the face and a knockdown. Shawn comes in and crotches Batista against the post (with Batista’s face freezing in a funny visual. He’s fine enough to try a Batista Bomb but Shawn punches his way to freedom. A whip into the corner works a bit better and it’s off to Orton for some stomping in the corner

Evolution starts taking turns on Shawn with a wide range of kicks and punches to the face. The HBK chants begin and like a good face, Shawn slugs away to little avail. Batista’s chokebomb is countered into a DDT (nice one) and it’s off to Benoit. A dragon screw legwhip takes Batista down and it’s time to roll some German suplexes. The Crossface goes on but Orton knocks Shawn into the hold for the break.

That’s enough for Benoit, who shoves Shawn but gets punched in the jaw. All four are down and we take a break. Back with Orton holding Benoit in a bow and arrow before switching to a bodyscissors with a pull of the face. JR: “Orton with those powerful legs. Who does he think he is? Joe Stecher?” Orton sticks with the legs by dropping one for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. Batista comes in for a half crab but Benoit fights up and scores with an enziguri.

Shawn doesn’t stick his hand out for a tag though, meaning Benoit has to suplex Orton and get about a foot away to bring Michaels in. Shawn cleans house and drops the elbow on Orton but Batista breaks up Sweet Chin Music. Everything breaks down and Benoit hits a German suplex on Orton, only to have Shawn accidentally crotch him on top. Shawn covers Orton but Benoit comes off with the Swan Dive anyway. The real fight is on and Orton rolls Shawn up for the pin.

Rating: B. This was much more storytelling than action, though the action was good. It’s also a weird way to do things as Benoit and Michaels look weak before the biggest match of the year. I guess you want to tease that HHH could win because of their issues, but HHH has looked strong long enough. Let Benoit and Shawn catch up to him a bit (Benoit needs it far more than Shawn) and don’t have them lose less than two weeks before Wrestlemania.

Post match Shawn and Benoit go at it until HHH runs in and Evolution beats the two of them down. The FOLEY chants go nowhere as HHH Pedigrees both guys.

Post break Foley arrives and Evolution isn’t happy, though they think it’s time to give Foley his weekly beating.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, even though Chris Jericho is injured. Instead here’s Christian and we’ll be having the Peep Show. Last week Christian was a little rough with Trish and had her screaming in pain, but after that he had her in his hotel room and she was screaming in pleasure. Both things were a little rough but sometimes it’s the only way to go.

See, Christian did all of this in the name of tough love, and there is going to be more tough love at Wrestlemania when he faces Jericho one on one. This brings out Jericho to no music and Christian is scared, despite Jericho’s noticeable limp. Jericho charges in and the fight is on with Christian getting away off a kick to the knee.

We look back at the ATV deal.

Wrestlemania rundown. Another team will be announced for the Raw Tag Team Titles on Heat because IT MUST BE A FOUR WAY!

A tow truck steals Austin’s ATV. So he just left it sitting there?

HHH leaves because Evolution can handle Foley by themselves. Orton has something in mind.

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy/Test

Non-title, meaning Test and Matt, who paid cash for his home and has more money than you, can’t win the titles. During the entrances, JR, asks why someone isn’t calling the cops about the ATV. Fair point, which isn’t likely to ever be addressed. As things get started, JR says that Jindrak and Lance Cade have already qualified, making me wonder again why they ever bothered with Garrison.

Van Dam dives onto Matt to start but gets taken outside for a whip into the steps. Back in and Test mocks Van Dam’s finger pointing and gets rolled up for two as JR suggests Lawler would get mad if he wore a crown. Rob kicks Matt down and the lukewarm tag brings in Booker. Everything breaks down and the Book End gets two on Test. Booker kicks Test down but stops for a Spinarooni, because Booker never learns. Matt gets in a cheap shot but Test kicks him down by mistake. The ax kick sets up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick tag match here as Booker and Van Dam continue to gain momentum, even though it’s not like they’re on top of a tough division in the first place. That being said, it’s not like either of them have anything better to do anyway so this is as good as anything else they could be doing. The match was nothing, but did you expect anything else?

Here’s Foley for the big show closing chat. He promised to be here tonight but here’s Evolution to cut him off. JR: “It’s time to pay Satan.” Well that’s a jump up in intensity. Orton doesn’t get why Foley is here because the weekly beatdowns are starting to hurt Orton’s hand. Foley can have the one on one match at Wrestlemania if he wants one but Foley knows that it’s too good to be true.

There is never going to be a one on one match because Evolution (Foley: “You watch your step Flair. I’ll knock you out!”) is always going to be around. Foley has something else in mind: a 3-2 handicap match (POP for that) with a special partner. Orton knows where this is going and tells Foley to go find a payphone and call Mr. Big Shot. Go tell Mr. Walking Tall that neither of them is watching after Wrestlemania.

Foley leaves to go make the call but has a better idea. How about Orton tells him to his face? Foley never said he was coming back to Raw alone, so cue the Rock at a full sprint. Orton looks terrified (well duh) and the Rock N Sock Connection cleans house with the Claw, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to Orton. Rock, with a goatee, says Evolution’s days of beating on Foley are over because Evolution is invited to a one of a kind beating at Wrestlemania. Catchphrases are hit to end the show on a hot note.

Overall Rating: C-. The Wrestlemania build is starting to suffer as there is so much stuff going on that they’re trying to cover everything at once and it’s starting to collapse. The triple threat is getting the attention it deserves but other than that, it feels like they’re throwing in a bunch of people onto the show instead of trying to build the stories up into something interesting. That pay per view card video felt really heavy and that’s not what you want going into one of the biggest shows of all time.

This week’s show wasn’t bad but there’s very little that I really want to see. Goldberg vs. Lesnar is in a weird place (mainly due to contract issues) where neither can show up and the best story is over on Smackdown. That leaves you with HHH standing tall for the moment and Austin vs. McMahon again, at least for the time being. It leaves the build feeling somewhere between weak and messy, and that’s not a good place to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6