I think you get the idea here.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-evolution/

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 9, 2004
Location: Rose Garden Arena, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania is just over a month away and tonight we get one of the required moments on the road to the big night: the contract signing, this time with HHH and Chris Benoit making their title match official. Shawn Michaels is still lurking around though and there’s almost no way that’s going to end well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Goldberg for a match but there’s no opponent as Vince McMahon interrupts instead. Vince talks about how weird it is to see these two together and he’s got a point. This is some weird pairing that you almost never see together. Vince cancels Goldberg’s match so here’s Steve Austin to interrupt. Austin wants to know why Vince is here (well so far it’s to cancel a match) because he’s already ticking Austin off. It turns out that Vince is here because of Austin giving Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out because Vince knows what Goldberg is capable of.

It’s time to listen to the voice of consequence so here’s Paul Heyman to join us. Heyman doesn’t want Goldberg showing up but there’s nothing he can do to stop it. However, he can order Goldberg not to/threaten him with Brock Lesnar taking care of things. Goldberg takes the mic and say Lesnar is next before spearing Heyman. Another spear is loaded up for Vince but hits Austin by mistake, giving the fans their OOOOOO moment.

Post break Goldberg tells Austin that it was a mistake but wants to know if he should expect a Stunner. Austin isn’t sure but if he does Stun Goldberg, it won’t be a mistake. Goldberg can live with that.

Vince yells at Eric Bischoff and suspends Goldberg as punishment.

Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho vs. Matt Hardy/Molly Holly

That’s quite an odd pairing for Matt, who loves getting things for free and has status on five airlines. The men start with a friendly exchange of hammerlocks so the announcers immediately start talking about Goldberg. Can you at least wait a few minutes? An early Walls attempt sends Matt bailing to the ropes so Molly comes in and gets spanked for her efforts.

Trish gets armbarred down but pops back up for a headscissors out of the corner. The hot tag brings in Jericho to clean house but his plancha to the floor misses, aggravating the knee injury Jericho suffered last week. Cue Christian to post Hardy though, leaving Trish to roll Molly up for a fast pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad while it lasted but what does it say that they might have been in trouble if they had just gone a few more minutes? Four people who seem pretty talented shouldn’t be worried that a match is going to fall apart after going five minutes. Unfortunately that’s the way Raw matches tend to go as they tend to go overboard after a certain amount of time.

Post break Trish leaves the trainer’s room and runs into Christian. He doesn’t think there’s any reason the three of them can’t be friends. Trish agrees and Christian goes to check on Jericho, not before saying she looks really good tonight.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade are enjoying Torrie and Sable’s Playboy and wonder if they ever….and here are Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to interrupt. They’re annoyed about not being in the magazine and are going to prove something. Or a PG-13 version of such.

Coach cuts off Mick Foley from coming in. Foley is here to embarrass Randy Orton or maybe cost him his Intercontinental Title. Coach steps aside, unfortunately.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

In a good move, JR announces that Mark Henry will be out for four months thanks to the Crossface last week. Now why can’t today’s wrestling attribute more injuries to wrestling? Nah, we’re better off telling the truth and getting nothing out of it. Benoit wastes no time with a German suplex so Flair bails outside, setting up a chop battle. That actually goes badly for Flair, who bails into the floor for a change to even less success. More chops rock Flair again but he gets an elbow up to stop a charge….and flops for a good visual.

It’s already time to go up and already time to get superplex back down from the top as Flair is bumping early and often. The Swan Dive misses though and Benoit is down as well. Back from a break with another chop off until Benoit sends him face first into the buckle. It’s time to roll some German suplexes until Flair gets in a low blow to save his neck. That means the Figure Four goes on but Benoit is in the ropes just a few seconds later. Flair stays on the knee but gets pulled straight into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here and that’s not exactly shocking. Benoit getting another clean win is exactly the right call and should do him a lot of good going forward. Beating the man that HHH idolizes and emulates so often is a great visual and while there is still a lot of time before Wrestlemania, they’re setting things up well.

Post match HHH says the contract signing is right now.

Back from a break and Bischoff is in the ring with a table and Benoit as HHH comes out for the signing. HHH wastes no time in signing but has something to say before Benoit can do the same. He sees the nerves in Benoit’s eyes because Benoit is standing at the edge and thinking of jumping off. What happens if Benoit jumps? Does he survive or is it all over? We’re coming up on Wrestlemania XX with all the lights on bright.

Benoit will be wrestling in the main event for the chance to become the man in the industry. That means all the pressure will be on him to defend the title all over the world. From American to Europe to Japan and all points in between. If Benoit can do it, then everything becomes worth it. Then the fans will chant BENOIT and he has arrived. That’s a nice dream, but reality is going to sit in.

Benoit is going to be sitting in the back after Wrestlemania and look at the big empty space in his bag. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity but is it worth it to risk losing it all? This is reality and that reality is HHH. Benoit goes to sign but here’s Shawn Michaels to interrupt. HHH leaves as Shawn says he doesn’t want to rain on Benoit’s parade but he can’t let this go.

Shawn’s issues with HHH far eclipses anything that Benoit is doing and he has to finish it. Shawn has to end this on the grandest stage of them all and that’s what he’s going to do. Benoit finally gets to talk and says he respects Shawn, but Wrestlemania is his night. As he’s talking, Shawn superkicks him and signs the contract. I really don’t think that’s how contracts work but that’s always been a gray area in wrestling.

Shawn came off as a huge jerk here, saying that his issues were all that mattered, despite having already had two shots at the title, which he blew both times. Throw in that Shawn has already beaten HHH at Summerslam and beaten him for the title at Survivor Series, this is the whiniest Shawn has ever been, which is covering A LOT of ground over the years. I know how great the match is eventually going to be, but I’ve never liked this story as Shawn didn’t need to be there and felt like he was as wedged into an angle as anyone could have been. The promo was great, but Shawn’s stuff was really forced and annoying.

Kane vs. Hurricane

Hurricane strikes his pose and runs out to the floor. Back in and a side slam followed by a chokeslam gives Kane the pin in short order.

Post match Kane can’t get the pyro to go off twice in a row. The third time works but Undertaker’s video comes on, followed by a video saying “the dead will rise in 34 days” (Wrestlemania of course).

Bischoff catches up with a ticked off Benoit, who wants to know what’s up with that. Apparently Shawn signing the contract is legally binding but he’ll have his lawyers on it. Next week: Benoit vs. Michaels.

Randy Orton isn’t happy with Foley being here and accuses him of being behind a conspiracy. A conspiracy to do what isn’t clear, but a conspiracy nonetheless.

We recap the opening sequence.

Goldberg tries to leave and doesn’t care to talk to Coach. He still has his No Way Out ticket and Lesnar is still next.

Video on the recent Japanese tour. This is edited off of the Network, likely due to a music issue.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s not here to interrupt tonight’s Intercontinental Title match but rather for an explanation of why he walked out in December. This turns into a discussion of Reverend Jimmy Swaggart, who was a major pastor but was then caught with a bunch of women. Or Rush Limbaugh, who ranted about drug abuse and was then caught abusing drugs. So what does this have to do with Orton?

Well at one point he was a member of the Marine Corps (complete with picture) but this isn’t a great story about a hero. It’s the story of a man who went AWOL for 82 days and was dismissed from the military (MAJOR heat for that one). Maybe Orton was projecting some of his guilt onto Foley when he was talking about Foley being a coward.

Foley throws down the challenge for Wrestlemania and maybe we can call it the battle of the cowards. Orton pops up on screen and says come to the back for a fight, Foley does just that, earning a beating from Evolution, capped off by a Batista Bomb through a table, due to sheer stupidity. Seriously Sting would have seen that coming. Orton slaps him around a bit for good measure.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Orton is defending. All three head outside in a hurry with Rob throwing Orton back in for a kick to the face. Booker doesn’t seem interested in running in for the save, instead watching from the apron until two. Van Dam kicks Booker down instead and we’re already in the two in/one out formula. Booker kicks Van Dam down to switch things up a bit but gets pulled outside by Orton.

Back in and Van Dam flips Booker as I’m still waiting on all three to be in the same place at the same time again. The announcers bicker over whether what Foley said about Orton was true, with Lawler accusing JR of being prejudiced. JR: “Well it ain’t easy.” Another kick to the face sets up Van Dam’s cartwheel moonsault for two but Orton is back in with a DDT on Booker. That sends Booker outside so Van Dam kicks Orton down for a change. A forearm to Van Dam’s back gets two but he kicks Orton in the face again, because that’s almost all of Van Dam’s offense these days.

Booker comes back in to play Bret to Van Dam’s Neidhart (with a kick instead of a clothesline) on a Hart Attack. Van Dam hits a bottom rope Five Star for two on Booker and Rolling Thunder gets the same, this time with Orton making a save. We’ll switch off to Orton vs. Booker now with the RKO being broken up.

A belly to back suplex/high crossbody combo with Van Dam flying back in crushes Orton again and all three are down. Rob gets dumped to the floor and there’s the ax kick to Orton but the very delayed cover allows Van Dam to flip back in for the save. The Five Star hits Booker but Orton steals the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. I really, really didn’t like this one as it was a full match of Van Dam kicking them in the face and one of them heading to the floor so the others can have a short singles match. The ending was slightly better as Orton stealing a pin to retain the title fits him perfectly. It was a lifeless match though and a positive ending isn’t enough to fix the bigger problems.

Evolution comes out to celebrate so here’s Foley limping to the ring, earning another beating. Van Dam and Booker get taken out as well to end the show. HHH comes out to watch as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. Awful main event aside, they did a good job of setting up the biggest pieces for Wrestlemania. The show is rather early this year (March 14) so it’s not like they have much time to really set everything up. Therefore it’s a great idea to have a lot of that out of the way early, and that’s what Raw has done here. There are still a lot of problems (contracts don’t work that way being a big one) but you can see a good card emerging in there. Just make the build work a little more smoothly and no more bad triple threats.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 5, 2004
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a new year and my goodness it couldn’t come soon enough. While the last match of 2003 was an instant classic, it was a very rare sight to see on the red show. With two shows left to go before the Royal Rumble, it’s time to hit the gas but I’m worried about how much we’ll be hearing about Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff complains to Coach about Steve Austin being the new Sheriff. This would be the recap for the fans who weren’t watching last week. Teddy Long and Mark Henry come in with Mark saying he has his Survivor Series favor picked (Hasn’t he cashed that in twice already?): Teddy Long gets to be GM for tonight only. Teddy isn’t worried about Austin because he has Johnny Cochran on speed dial.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Teddy to say fans are uncomfortable with a black man in charge. He goes into a rant about the Mayor of Memphis being black but the city still being racist. As expected, Jerry Lawler gets offended and grabs the mic, only to take the RKO from Randy Orton right before he gets his hands on Teddy.

In the back, Orton brags to Long about what he just did but Henry comes in and says he wants the Intercontinental Title tonight. Teddy makes the match but they run into Austin, who says not so fast. It should be Rob Van Dam getting his rematch, though Teddy says he’s already made the match. Instead, Austin makes it Henry vs. Van Dam for a title shot next week. As you might have guessed, it’s Austin vs. Bischoff all over again, but with less hair.

Coach comes out to replace Lawler, complete with an LSU (who defeated Oklahoma in a bowl game over the weekend) chair.

Spike Dudley vs. Rene Dupree

This is Spike’s return after La Resistance dropped him head first onto the edge of a table a few months back. Rene throws him around to start and drops him with a delayed suplex for a delayed two. We hit the neck crank as this is one sided so far, meaning Spike is likely to win the thing. As expected, Spike fights to his feet and gets a rollup pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D-. The whole match was spent talking about college football, which isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world on a wrestling show. That being said, it’s a lot better than talking about Spike vs. Dupree, which is one of the worst things they could have put on the show here. You’re on the first show of the year and your opening match is Spike Dudley? It’s not a good sign for the year.

Post match the Dudley Boyz come out to celebrate but Evolution, who is defending against the Dudleys later tonight, lay them out on the stage and ramp.

Trish Stratus sings on the WWE Originals album.

Christian comes in to make amends with Chris Jericho over the Trish ordeal and wants to be friends again. Jericho actually accepts and Christian actually has a tag match set up for them next. That sounds swervish.

Video on HHH vs. Shawn from last week.

Lawler wants his spot back but Long comes out and makes it a three man booth to prevent the unfair removal of another black man.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Rosey clotheslines Christian to start as Coach suggests that JR become a Superhero In Training. Hurricane comes in and gets to speed things up on Jericho but some kicks in the corner cut him off. A low bridge sends Hurricane outside and he throws himself into the steps (it looked horrible) to really put the Canadians in trouble.

Back in and we hit the choking until a double DDT gets Hurricane out of trouble. It’s off to Rosey for a Samoan drop on Christian and a double clothesline to both Canadians, even as he loses his mask. Hurricane dives onto Jericho and a swinging belly to belly gives Rosey two. Christian sends him into the post though and Jericho posts Rosey’s head, setting up the reverse DDT to give Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick way to establish that the Canadians are on the same page again. It’s not like Hurricane and Rosey are the most important team in the world and given that there’s no way Evolution is going to lower themselves to face the two of them, it’s not like this means anything.

We look back at the Dudley Boyz beatdown earlier.

Steven Richards vs. Test

Richards has beaten Test a few times on Heat. Test wastes no time in hitting on Victoria before sending Richards shoulder first into the post. We hit the armbar and Victoria turns into a cheerleader, which has Coach and King agreeing to the fact that she’s good looking. Victoria breaks up the pumphandle slam but a hard full nelson slam drops Richards. Test tries the running big boot on Victoria but crotches himself, allowing Richards to roll him up for the pin. Not bad while it lasted actually.

Post match Test boots Victoria in the face and gets beaten down by a livid Richards.

Here’s Sheriff Austin for a chat. Austin wants to talk about the Royal Rumble but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks Austin has lost his mind (fair) and mocks the whole Sheriff concept. We get some references to old TV sheriffs and deputies in the required southern yokel accent. HHH sees Austin’s badge and that’s just too much for him. Where are the little cap guns and the big hat?

Austin cuts him off with the threat of a Stunner or stripping him of the title or even mocking his clothes. The Stone Cold law will be upheld and that means it’s time for Shawn Michaels to get a rematch after having HHH pinned last week. HHH wants to know what it’s going to take to get it through his head but here’s Shawn to interrupt. The fans are VERY pro Shawn as he wants HHH to prove it one more time. Austin makes the rematch at the Royal Rumble and let’s make that Last Man Standing, just for fun. A quick Pedigree lays Shawn out.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Victoria was scheduled to challenge Molly here but the big boot meant we needed a replacement (with Teddy saying we need two white girls fighting) and now it’s non-title. Molly knocks her off the apron to start and hits a low dropkick for two back inside. It’s already off to the chinlock for a bit until Trish fights up with some forearms. The Stratusphere sets up a rollup for two and Trish goes up, only to have Jazz come out and shove her off for the DQ.

Jazz beats Molly up too but Jericho runs in for the save. Trish isn’t happy and leaves alone because she’s not falling for this again.

And now, a paid announcement from Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton, who think Mick Foley is a coward. It’s almost a political ad and that’s kind of funny.

Wrestlemania moment: Kane and Pete Rose.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mark Henry

The winner gets Orton for the Intercontinental Title next week. Henry shoves them around to start so it’s time to start in on the knee. A sliding dropkick to the head stuns Henry but he’s right back up with a powerslam. Henry gets kicked to the floor and that means the moonsault from the apron. That’s enough for Long, who hands Henry a chair for the knockout shot and the DQ.

Long says it’s a No DQ match so we restart things. Cue Austin on an ATV (with Long doing a hilarious face as if to say “I can’t be seeing this. Playa.”) to chase Long around the ring and up the ramp. Then the image is ruined as they go to the back with Austin driving through the entrance and Long being seen standing there.

Back from a break with Rob getting choked on the ropes and Henry hitting a running crotch attack. Henry puts Rob on top but gets caught in something like a triangle choke to really cut him down. Rolling Thunder sets up another Rolling Thunder for two and Rob skateboards the chair into Henry’s face. That just ticks Henry off so Rob goes with the Van Daminator into a Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. Not counting the commercial, this might have been five and a half minutes long with the break in the middle. Van Dam winning was the obvious ending and the Austin vs. Long stuff wasn’t really necessary. The break in the middle really hurt what could have been a decent high flier vs. power match as Henry is starting to settle into his role, even if he almost never wins anything.

Post match Austin chases Long back to the ring and gives him a Stunner. That’s a little excessive but beer is consumed anyway.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, but she’s in the shower. He talks about how much he really cares about her and yeah it started as a bet, but he fell for her along the lines. Jericho has real feelings for her….and it’s actually Mae Young, who of course is in a towel, which is opened. I believe they know where they want to go with this story, but they’re taking some very questionable roads to get there.

Here’s Kane for a chat. He talks about the Royal Rumble (oh yeah that’s a thing) which he has never won. Over the years he should have won them all but he was always worried about being cheered by the insects. Then last year he trusted someone, which gives us a clip of Undertaker throwing him out last year. That will never happen again because Undertaker is gone. Last week he attacked Booker T. because Booker got Kane’s World Title shot at Wrestlemania. This year he’ll win the Rumble but here’s Booker for the fight to clear Kane out. Booker enters the Rumble as well and promises to get rid of Kane in the process.

Tag Team Titles: Batista/Ric Flair vs. Dudley Boyz

Evolution is defending and the Dudleys are coming in banged up. D-Von slugs away at Batista to start but gets powered into the corner. Bubba comes in for a running corner splash and a middle rope crossbody of all things gets two. Some right hands drop Flair and that means a WOO and a strut, just to rub some salt in the always possibly soon to open wounds. There’s another corner splash into the side slam for two but it’s quickly off to Batista to take over.

It’s time to start in on the knee and the Figure Four goes on. Batista cranks on the leg with Bubba crawling to the corner for the tag….which isn’t seen thanks to a Flair distraction. A single kick to the ribs allows the real tag to D-Von, who wastes no time in powerslamming Flair to take over. Everything breaks down with Batista being sent the floor, leaving Bubba to punch Flair several times. What’s Up and the 3D connect but here’s HHH for a distraction, allowing Batista to powerbomb D-Von. The unconscious Flair get the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. They made Batista look like a bigger deal and Flair can do the wrestling while the Dudleys are always good for at least a solid performance. If nothing else we might get some fresh challengers now, even if there aren’t any major teams ready to go after the titles.

Post match Shawn comes back in to superkick HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. While not as boring as the shows from last year, this wasn’t exactly thrilling stuff. With almost no focus on the Rumble with less than three weeks to go, we got a lot of Austin vs. Long stuff which is just filler until we’re back to Austin vs. Bischoff, which was the longest running story of 2003. They need to find something fresh and Shawn vs. HHH, which good enough, doesn’t fit that description.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 15, 2003
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on the end of the year and to the shock of no one, it’s all about HHH again. This time though he’s nice enough to allow the rest of Evolution to join in as they swept the titles last night at Armageddon. That means we’re on the way to the Royal Rumble, where I’m sure HHH will give a rub to some young whippersnapper. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Armageddon results if you need a recap.

Here’s Evolution with all of the titles to open things up. HHH brags about claiming all of the gold last night because Evolution was always going to change the industry. Goldberg’s fans wanted to believe the hype but he’s HHH and with him there is no hype necessary. Tonight, the golden rule of Evolution begins: they have all the gold so they make all the rules. You know they didn’t have to ask HHH twice to do that speech.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Rematch from last night. Trish isn’t exactly as fired up as usual here and Lawler hurt his voice screaming at last night’s match. Jericho and Trish start things off and again, Jericho isn’t thrilled with having to do this. Instead he tags Christian, which is a great way to show how he feels: bring in someone willing to beat the heck out of Trish.

Thankfully there’s no broken neck or anything and it’s off to Trish for two off a high crossbody. Christian clotheslines the heck out of both of them for two, pulling Trish up before three. Instead it’s an Unprettier for one as Jericho breaks up the cover. Jericho shoves Christian down and the match is stopped due to Trish being banged up.

Rating: D. That botch was terrible and the ending was a storyline advancement instead of anything noteworthy. Jericho getting closer to the face turn is interesting as this is starting to get a lot better. They could use this to change a lot about Jericho and that’s a good thing, especially considering how long he’s been a heel at the moment.

Post match Bischoff comes out and yells at Jericho. Chris yells right back and says this was a horrible idea. Jericho goes to leave but Bischoff makes Jericho vs. Kane for later tonight. With Jericho gone, Bischoff says he has an idea to reshape Raw forever (yes another one) and wants Foley out here for it. Post break here’s Foley who wants to talk about Steve Austin returning. Two weeks from tonight, he’ll be pleading his case with the Board of Directors and Austin will be there as well.

Bischoff calls Foley a disappointment because the fans want him to be the Hardcore Legend. We see a video on Foley’s career (I believe the old Desire video), which focuses heavily on Foley being beaten up. Bischoff wants Foley back in the ring and Foley has actually been thinking about returning. Say, against Bischoff for example. He’ll be back in the ring one day, but on his own terms.

Bischoff has his own idea though: Foley vs. Randy Orton tonight with Foley and Bischoff’s jobs on the line. Foley wisely says no because he knows what Bischoff is going to try. He knows Evolution will be out there, so Foley wants to get to pick the referee. Foley picks….Earl Hebner, but also wants Evolution and Bischoff banned from ringside.

Next week: the Best of 2003. So it’s a five minute show?

Booker T./Maven vs. Mark Henry/Matt Hardy

The Huffman Brothers unite. Matt, who always utilizes toilet seat covers, has to deal with Maven’s right hands and dropkicks to start. Maven’s charge misses in the corner though and it’s off to Henry to take over. A few hard shots have Maven down again and Matt comes back in to crank on both arms at once. More right hands in the corner keep Maven in trouble but a Russian legsweep is enough for the tag to Booker. Some forearms and a spinebuster get no cover because it’s Spinarooni time. Henry is low bridged to the floor and the ax kick finishes Matt.

Rating: D. Just a match here with Maven being as uninteresting as he could possibly be. He doesn’t have a look, he doesn’t do well in the ring and he can’t talk but he won a reality show about three years ago so we get to see him on Raw. Hopefully Booker vs. Henry is done as there’s not much of a point in continuing the thing when Booker pinned him clean last night.

Coach tries to interview Goldberg but gets beaten up behind a closed door. He is then thrown through said closed door.

Here’s La Resistance to mock Rock calling them, ahem, Fifi last week. That’s not the case but here’s Goldberg to destroy both of them. La Resistance was introduced for a match but there wasn’t even a referee in the ring. Goldberg breaks a French flag and waves an American one. WE GET IT ALREADY! FRANCE SUCKS AND AMERICA IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER! NOW MOVE ON! Cue Bischoff to suspend Goldberg for thirty days.

Post break: JR: “I DESPISE ERIC BISCHOFF!” He rants about Goldberg being suspended for showing his patriotism and thankfully Lawler calms things down.

Foley is talking about wrestling being an addiction and asks someone if it’s something you can do once. He’s talking to Shawn Michaels, who says Mick is preaching to the choir. This business is like the mob: every time you think you’re out, they pull you back in. Shawn says it’s all worth it. Foley asks for his flannel shirt.

Shawn Michaels/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Ric Flair/Batista

Batista and Van Dam starts but Batista wants Shawn instead. That’s fine with Michaels and thankfully Batista doesn’t tag out like so many others would do. Shawn speeds things up and decks HHH and Flair, drawing them in for a standoff. Batista powers him into the corner though and it’s off to HHH, who gets punched down without much effort. Van Dam comes in to work on the arm so it’s off to Flair, who gets kicked in the face.

A poke to the eye cuts Shawn off (he never was that bright) and a right hand from HHH from the apron makes things even worse. Now it’s HHH coming in again and it’s amazing how much more energetic he seems here than in any Goldberg match. It’s back to Batista for the hard clothesline but let’s hear more from JR about Goldberg’s patriotism and Bischoff being a jerk. I bet he’s a commie too.

Shawn finally gets away from Batista and makes the hot tag to Van Dam for a bunch of kicks. The referee gets crushed in the corner though and Van Dam’s running shoulder makes it even worse. Rolling Thunder hits Batista and there’s the Five Star but Flair makes a save. The Pedigree plants Van Dam for a very delayed two (something tells me they had to beg HHH to allow that kickout). Flair grabs the Figure Four and we take a break. Back with HHH staying on the leg and JR apologizing for the abrupt break (I blame France. They’re not AMERICANS.).

Flair comes in for some chops and let’s plug the heck out of the main event again. I mean, they only have an hour and a half to hype it up. Some kicks to the face drop HHH and another to Flair are enough for the hot tag off to Shawn as things pick up again. The atomic drop sets up the top rope elbow to HHH for no cover. Everything breaks down with Rob knocking Batista outside, followed by a dive onto Batista and Flair. Sweet Chin Music finishes HHH, meaning it’s time for another Shawn World Title feud.

Rating: C+. The really annoying bits of commentary aside, this worked well enough, even if you have Evolution lose their first match after getting all the gold the night before. Shawn getting the World Title feud is annoying as we were there just a year ago but at least it seems to be just for the Rumble and the match should be good. Rob vs. Batista could be interesting too if that’s the way they go.

Rico vs. Jon Heidenreich

Rematch from last night on Heat where Rico won thanks to Miss Jackie interference. JR: “You gotta keep your eye on the ball there, though that may not be the best term to use with Rico.” Heidenreich slaps on an early bearhug but Rico kisses his way to freedom. A hip swivel into an elbow drop gets two on John and let’s talk about AMERICA some more.

We go a little more conventional with the chinlock as Lawler is rather impressed by Jackie’s outfit. Ok fair enough. The BORING chants begin so Heidenreich powers up with a backdrop for two and Jackie is panicking. The referee nearly gets bumped so Jackie gets in a cheap shot, allowing Rico to hit a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can go with pushing someone but the ceiling on Rico is very low with this horrible character. Jackie is a great addition and plays the manager role well but there’s nowhere to go with Rico in this character. Heidenreich isn’t exactly doing well, mainly due to being left off of TV for a few weeks after debuting. At least there’s still time to tweak him though as he doesn’t have a character to speak of.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, who says she now sees the real him. She doesn’t want him to talk to her again.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Jericho gets smart by dropkicking the knee as Kane comes in but a few more shots don’t get him very far. Kane punches away in the corner as the announcers actually talk about stuff related to the match. I’m as shocked as you are. A raised boot in the corner cuts Kane off and a missile dropkick gets one. You can hear JR starting to sympathize with Jericho being up against such odds here, meaning the face turn is starting to work, even in small increments. The Walls are broken up with ease and Kane sends him outside for a whip into the steps. That’s enough for Jericho, who hits him in the head with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t great but these two have never had the best chemistry. I’m interested in the face turn but I’ve always been a bigger fan of Jericho as a face than a heel. Having him try to be a good person to change Trish’s mind has long term potential, especially if WWE actually does it the right way for a change. In other words, don’t change course because they can’t be patient.

Post match Kane destroys him, including choking with a cord and a chokeslam. Christian comes out after Kane leaves but shoves Jericho down instead.

Earlier today, some Raw wrestlers were at an Air Force base.

Orton comes in to see Bischoff, who gives him a pep talk and tells him to think smart tonight. Bischoff wants Foley to chase Orton to wear him down. Ignore the locker room rumors that Orton can’t live up to his potential too. Orton freaks out at the idea of such rumors and is ready to step out of everyone’s shadows.

People wish Foley luck, including Shawn. Foley gives Shawn a World Title shot in two weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley

Orton is defending and this is billed as Winner Take All. Before the bell, Foley heads outside and slaps himself in the head a few times. Foley walks around for a bit….and leaves with his head down. No match.

Orton chases after Foley, who is leaving with his stuff. Bischoff catches up to Foley and asks what’s going on. If Foley leaves, he’s out of power. Foley keeps walking so here’s Orton to yell at him. Orton notices a tear in Foley’s eye and says legends don’t cry. He spits on Foley, who leaves without saying a word to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And so, evil wins again. To recap, Goldberg is suspended and Foley walks away due to being a coward or whatever they’re going for there, all while Evolution reigns on high. Oh but wait: Shawn is getting a World Title shot and Austin might be back. That puts us right back where we were a few months ago, albeit with Shawn as the latest unlikely challenger to take the title from HHH.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Goldberg’s run was a nice breather, but HHH is the star of this show and there’s no way around it. This show is run by the villains and we’re lucky to get a month or so off from the status quo. Even when Goldberg was champion, he was injured and off the show for awhile while HHH dominated the show despite not even wrestling. Not a bad show this week, but a change from the HHH Show would be nice.

IMG Credit: WWE

Armageddon 2003
Date: December 14, 2003
Location: TD Waterhouse Centre, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 12,672
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the pay per view schedule for the year here with another show that is hardly inspiring. The main event here is a triple threat match between Raw World Champion Goldberg, HHH and Kane, because why have one challenger who can’t bring out the best in Goldberg when you can have two? I’m almost scared of how lame this could be so let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home Raw if you need a recap.

The Fink opens us up. Fink: “Would you please rise TO HONOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA???” Lillian Garcia does her usual great rendition but I don’t have the urge to punch a French guy, meaning it’s kind of a failure on WWE’s part. This is the day after Saddam Hussein was caught so it’s not as random as it seems.

The opening video is your standard collection of Bible verses about Armageddon and as expected, it’s all about the triple threat.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker goes aggressive to start with a long series of right hands and is shoved down just as fast. We even get a rare Booker T. chant until Henry clotheslines him to the floor to calm them right back down. A whip sends Booker into the steps but he’s right back up with a slingshot dive to take Henry out. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Henry down again as the fans are sticking with this one early on.

Teddy Long offers a distraction though and Henry runs Booker over to cut him off and the pace slows right back down. We hit a modified bow and arrow for a bit before a running crotch attack to Booker’s back has him in even more trouble. Back in and we hit the chinlock as Henry isn’t exactly known for his varied offense. He mixes things up (by his standards at least) with a bearhug. See now he’s squeezing a different part of Booker so it’s a completely different style.

A hard clothesline cuts off Booker’s comeback but the legdrop misses. Booker’s bicycle kick sets up an ax kick for two in what might have been his big shot. Henry grabs a spinebuster and nearly collapses when covering for two. Dude it’s eight minutes into the match. You shouldn’t be that tired. Now the legdrop is good for two and Henry hits a jackknife of all things, which looked more like Booker slipped than being intentional. Possibly out of fear of his safety, Booker hits another ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry has been wrestling for going on eight years at this point and somehow he’s still not getting better. The power moves look good in spurts but the powerbomb looked horrible (not to mention dangerous) and you can only do so much squeezing in a nine minute match. At least Booker won though and Henry can drop back down to the midcard (at best) where he belongs.

Eric Bischoff is livid and gives Christian and Chris Jericho a pep talk for their mixed tag later tonight. Jericho looks hesitant but here’s Mick Foley in the arena to cut them off. Foley talks about how he’s here in Orlando to deliver his first pay per view as co-manager (I’m sure he’ll be yelled at for getting the title wrong.) of Raw. The Steve Austin petition has now broken one million signatures and that means it’s time for a celebration. Cue Stacy Keibler as a cheerleader for a series of cartwheels and the obvious visual appeal.

With Foley picking Stacy up, here are Randy Orton and Ric Flair to interrupt. Orton holds that Foley didn’t pull anything because he’ll need to be ready to count the pin in the Intercontinental Title match. Austin is gone because Orton got rid of him at Survivor Series so it’s time to crown a new champion. Foley says Orton wants to go so let’s have the title match right now.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Orton is challenging and Foley is guest referee. Rob sweeps the leg to start and Orton is already taking a breather on the floor. Back in and they hit a technical sequence with Orton not being able to do anything and leading to a standoff. Rob goes with what he does best and kicks Orton down. Another kick sets up a running flip dive to the floor as Orton can’t get much going so far.

Rob gets caught on top and shoved into the barricade though, which happens to him far too often. Then again it’s not like wrestlers are people who learn very well in the first place. Flair gets in some choking from the floor and Foley yells at him, which just lets Orton hammer away even more. We hit the chinlock (requirement fulfilled) for a good while until Rob gets two off a rollup.

Orton throws him onto his shoulder for a powerbomb but takes a step forward into a neckbreaker for a cool move. That means another chinlock until Rob fights up with a spinwheel kick. Rob (with his ponytail nearly out in a rare look) slugs away in the corner and gets two off a northern lights suplex, sending Orton bailing to the floor again.

The breather works as Orton grabs the hanging DDT back inside and yells at Foley on the two count. As you might guess, Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder but has to kick Flair away. There’s the stepover kick to set up the Five Star but another Flair distraction lets Orton crotch Rob. The RKO gives Orton the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is the perfect role for Rob: he can keep the title warm and give you a good match to make a bigger and better name champion. Orton had to win here as it’s high time to make him look like he has more than potential. Evolution looks better here too as the team has a second champion instead of HHH and three lackeys. Good match, even with Rob being his pretty usual self. Then again, it’s not like he cranked it up to another level most of the time in WWE.

Orton’s post match celebration makes the title seem like a huge deal as he seems blown away by winning it. You don’t see that often enough.

We recap the battle of the sexes with Jericho and Christian romancing Trish Stratus and Lita to some success. It turned out to be a bet between the guys though, which crushed both women and broke their hearts. Now though, Jericho seems to be having second thoughts, even as Bischoff has set up this mixed tag.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Jericho tries to talk his way out of trouble with Trish but gets slapped, setting up the forearms that you would expect from Sapphire instead of a multiple time Women’s Champion. That earns Trish a spanking so she kicks him away and slaps him in the head. Some bad dropkicks have Jericho in trouble so it’s off to Lita vs. Christian. Lita slaps him as well and then runs away, followed by some equally lame forearms.

A headscissors puts Christian down but Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron in a good heel move. It’s off to Jericho for some trash talking and some standing on Lita’s hair. A powerbomb is countered into a loose hurricanrana for two and Lita loses her top to the delight of both Lawler and the fans. Lita finally gets smart with a low blow, allowing the tag to Trish who thankfully throws the forearms that she would throw in matches instead of like she’s a terrified schoolgirl.

The Chick Kick rocks Christian and Jericho gets crotched on top. He’s fine enough to block the Stratusphere but Christian gets sent into Jericho. That’s enough for two off a rollup but a hard clothesline takes Trish’s head off. Lita comes back in with a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho make a save. Jericho checks on Trish and seems to show some sympathy until Christian rolls Trish up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was two different matches in one as the first half felt like something out of Memphis in 1974 and the second felt like it could have been interesting. In other words, once Trish and Lita realized they were Trish Stratus and Lita rather than fans in over their heads, it got a lot better. If that was the case throughout, this could have been a fun underdog match but for what we got, it was too little two late.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn was trying to survive for Team Austin at Survivor Series when Batista interfered and cost him the match. Batista wasn’t done though and beat Shawn up some more, setting up the match tonight. In other words, they’re hoping Shawn can pull off a good match to make Batista look better than he is. I mean, it’s not the worst idea in the world.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Shawn goes with the speed to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner to annoy Batista. More punches get the same result and a slide between Batista’s legs allows Shawn to punch Ric Flair out. Things reset a bit and this time Batista goes with power in the form of some knees in the corner.

Flair goes into cheerleader mode as Batista starts in on the back with a hard whip, followed by just driving an elbow into the side of Shawn’s head. Shawn blocks a belly to back superplex though and gets two off a moonsault press (which was a foot or so off center). There’s the nip up so Batista takes it outside for a whip into the steps to put Shawn down again. They’re doing well with the power vs. heart/experience idea here.

Some backbreakers get Batista back to where he was going before with Flair losing his mind that the referee hasn’t stopped it yet. Back up and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up before countering a chokebomb into a DDT. The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a spinebuster. That means it’s Batista Bomb time but Shawn slips out and nails Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a shorter version of Orton vs. Michaels from a few months back and that’s the right way to go. I can live with Evolution not winning every match and Shaw using the experience and intelligence to win over a muscle head like Batista makes enough sense. If nothing else just have Batista power through some nitwit and he’ll be fine.

Post match Batista is so out of it that he thinks he won and here’s Maven for a match added on Heat. One beatdown later and Maven is done, meaning Matt Hardy (whose fingernails grow very quickly), his opponent for tonight, can get a forfeit win. That’s the fast track version of getting Batista back to normal.

In the back, a very sweaty Flair has to calm Batista down and say that Batista is better than Shawn. Everyone trips, but the good ones get back in the game. Flair has an idea and says they’re both leaving with titles. Thanks for the spoiler Naitch.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

Gauntlet match for the titles with the Dudleys defending. La Resistance vs. Rosey/The Hurricane starts things off with Conway slugging at Hurricane to start. A low bridge puts Hurricane on the floor as the USA chants begin. As usual, the fact that two Americans are currently wrestling goes completely over their heads. Dupree comes in and now that the chants are more appropriate, they starts dying down.

Hurricane gets in an X Factor and tags in Rosey to as much of a reaction as a tag to Rosey is going to draw about two minutes into a match. Rosey splashes Conway and dumps Dupree over the top before getting on the middle rope. Hurricane gets on his shoulders for a big splash to pin Dupree. Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in third and roll Hurricane up for the pin in about four seconds.

Lance Storm and Val Venis are in fourth with Venis and Jindrak starting things off. That goes nowhere so Garrison and Lance trade armdrags and headlocks. The BORING chants begin and you can see the empty seats from people hitting the concession stands. One heck of a left hand breaks up a springboard and Jindrak come in to crank on Storm’s arms. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Venis as everything breaks down. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Jindrak so Venis tries a suplex but falls victim to the Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior finish for the pin.

It’s the Dudley Boyz in fifth to clean house with Cade getting caught in the Tree of Woe and Bubba abusing his chest. Jindrak comes in for one heck of a clothesline on D-Von and it’s off to the chinlock. A top rope elbow hits D-Von but “misses” and the hot tag brings in Bubba. Everything breaks down and Jindrak rolls D-Von up for two, only to have the 3D send the Dudleys on. Cade decks both Dudleys as Scott Steiner and Test are in sixth. The villains come in with little resistance and Steiner’s push-up elbow gets two.

It’s off to a Fujiwara armbar of all things before Test comes in for some stomping. A regular armbar has as much effect so Bubba throws him down for a breather. The middle rope backsplash ACTUALLY connects for two on Test and it’s back to D-Von to pick things up a bit. A rollup gets two on Test but he’s right back with the full nelson slam for two. With the wrestling not working, Test does the old throw in the belt so you can use a chair spot for two on D-Von. The Bubba Bomb hits Test though and D-Von gets the pin to retain.

Well hang on a second as here’s Bischoff that we have a seventh team. In case you’re really slow, it’s Flair and Batista as evil bosses are still evil bosses. The beatdown is on with Flair putting Ray in the Figure Four and the Batista Bomb pinning D-Von. Evolution was in there for about thirty seconds.

Rating: D. This was long and uneventful until the screwy finish. The problem was the same as usual with most gauntlet matches: there’s nothing to the matches because they have to go so fast and in this case, most of the teams are so lame that it’s not exactly something worth watching. This could have been much worse with less time but still, just a screwy way to set up the ending of the show.

Video on the Tribute to the Troops announcement.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending in a match that I don’t think was even mentioned coming into the show. Ivory sends her out to the floor to start as the announcers debate sexual frustration. A dropkick to the leg knocks Ivory face first into the apron so the champ can take over. It’s off to an armbar and the discussion is off to Molly drinking prune juice. There’s a handspring elbow to Ivory as you can see even more empty seats now than during the tag match. Ivory sends her face first into the buckle for two but Molly reverses into a rollup with the tights for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. There’s no story and they had four minutes. What else can you expect from a match like this? It’s not their fault here as they were put in a match to fill in time and given nothing to work with, meaning the deck was entirely stacked against them. The division needs some fresh blood and Ivory isn’t the right person to challenge for the title.

We recap the World Title match. Goldberg is defending, HHH is HHH and Kane decided to attack Goldberg so HHH could say it was a different match when he gets the title back again.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Goldberg

One fall to a finish. The bell rings and they stand around staring at each other for a long time. After a minute of standing there, Goldberg walks to HHH and Kane walks to Goldberg, allowing HHH to jump the champ from behind. The double teaming is on as we’re waiting on who gets to cover Goldberg. A clothesline takes HHH down and a powerslam does the same to Kane as the fans are trying to get into this.

Kane sits up so Goldberg knocks him down again, followed by doing the same to HHH. Goldberg slams Kane off the top for a bonus and powerslams HHH for no cover. The distraction lets Kane get in a big boot and some right hands to Goldberg as I’m not expecting much of a story to break out here. A double suplex drops Goldberg and HHH covers for two, much to Kane’s annoyance.

Kane clotheslines HHH to the floor by mistake so HHH chairs him in the back, breaking up a chokeslam to Goldberg in the process. Goldberg takes the chair from HHH and wraps it around his ankle but Kane breaks up the Pillmanization. They head outside with Goldberg trying a Jackhammer through the table, only to be broken up with a chair to the ribs from HHH. You know, because why would you want Goldberg to get rid of Kane and then wear him out with the chair in your hands and a free shot?

HHH elbows Goldberg through the table but winds up in front of Kane while holding the chair that he used to put him down. Kane beats on HHH a bit as this just keeps going. They head inside with HHH getting beaten up some more, including the side slam for no cover. The chokeslam is blocked by a poke to the eye and a DDT plants Kane. That’s enough for the ring so they head up the ramp with Kane chokeslamming him there instead. Goldberg is finally back up and spearing Kane as they come back inside for two with HHH making the save.

It’s a three way slugout with Goldberg getting the better of it, including a double clothesline to take both guys down. There’s another spear to Kane and one to HHH, drawing in Evolution for a distraction. They’re quickly dispatched so Goldberg and Kane choke each other until HHH hits Goldberg low. Kane chokeslams the champ but Batista pulls him to the floor, allowing HHH to get the pin and the title. Merry Christmas to us.

Rating: D+. Much like the whole show, this was much more dull and boring than bad. There was a grand total of zero doubt that HHH would win as you have the Evolution title dominance to go with HHH not being World Champion in a few months, which is completely unacceptable. This was as good as “you hit me, I hit him, he hits you, now we switch” for twenty minutes was going to be, which should tell you everything you need to know.

Evolution celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There are worse shows, but this was 2003 Raw in a nutshell: a lot of Evolution, a good match here and there, but the whole thing is just so slow paced that nothing is really exciting. Also, much like a lot of the shows on the year, it barely broke two and a half hours, including the National Anthem. These one brand pay per views aren’t ready yet and that’s getting more and more obvious every single time they’re out there. These things need to be closer to two hours than three, but then they couldn’t charge as much and that wouldn’t be good, much like this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 8, 2003
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Armageddon, which has really snuck up on me this year. The big story coming out of last week was Mick Foley being named the new co-General Manager of Raw and balancing out Eric Bischoff’s power mad rampage. I’m sure this will be a new and innovative story that has never been done before in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, which saw Foley firing a bunch of people but then revealing that he was just joking to end the show. That’s quite the use of two hours.

Opening sequence.

Here are Chris Jericho and Christian with flowers to beg Trish and Lita’s forgiveness. Cue the ladies with Trish holding up a Canadian dollar. Jericho is shocked that this is what’s wrong because it was just a stupid joke. They recap the feud with Jericho trying to sweet talk his way out of things and Jericho begs forgiveness until she slaps him in the face. Trish and Lita beat the heck out of them with the flowers and it’s time for a match. Well with Christian and Jericho’s scheduled opponents.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Jericho/Christian are challenging and we’re joined in progress with D-Von elbowing Christian in the face and nailing a powerslam. It’s off to Jericho to stomp on Bubba and the Canadians start in on the leg as Trish and Lita glare from the floor. A chinlock sets up more stomping as they’re not exactly going deep into the heel offense playbook here.

Rating: C-. Kind of a boring match for the most part but anything with ticked off Trish and Lita at ringside is a good thing. There’s more to this story and I’m still interested in where things are going. Bubba and D-Von are good for this role as you could have them hold the titles for a long time and it’s not a stretch to have Christian and Jericho lose to them here. Good story for a not that bad match.

Evolution recaps the plans to get the World Title back on HHH. Randy Orton is cool with that but promises to leave Armageddon as the Intercontinental Champion.

Christian and Jericho rant to Bischoff so he makes a mixed tag at Armageddon.

Batista vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Rob doesn’t bother with the feeling out stuff and kicks Batista to the floor early on. Back in and the shoulders in the corner are shrugged off with Batista’s hard clothesline. Rob gets shoved outside as Lawler keeps singing Evolution’s praises. Back in and Rob is put upside down in the Tree of Woe to no avail as he’s right back with more kicks.

A dropkick puts Batista down and the stepover kick does it again. It’s too early for the Five Star though and the ref gets bumped. The Batista Bomb is countered into a fairly botched hurricanrana but Flair breaks up the split legged moonsault. Now the Batista Bomb can connect for the pin.

Rating: D+. Batista is being brought along slowly but he can hit a great looking powerbomb. Rob losing here is fine as it sets up the numbers game problem on Sunday and the loss wasn’t clean. This was all it should have been and Rob’s botches didn’t even hurt it that badly.

Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Val Venis/Lance Storm

Before the match, Cade and Jindrak make it clear that they were NOT whining last week. Jindrak jumps Storm from behind and stomps away in the corner as Lawler is hoping that Storm and Venis’ ladies will be in one of Val’s films soon. A double suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock. Storm fights up and hits a dropkick, allowing the tag off to Venis so everything can break down. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Jindrak but Cade’s distraction sets up a rollup (with trunks) to pin Venis. They didn’t have much time here and the match was really rushed.

Kane talks about killing his dog and leaving the carcass to rot in the woods. Every day he would go to see what was left of it, which made him feel good about himself. Goldberg being World Champion annoys him too so he’ll change that on Sunday.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s named himself guest referee for the Intercontinental Title match on Sunday, after several hours of consulting with himself. That brings him to Steve Austin, who needs to be reinstated. There are now over 500,000 signatures that want Austin back on Raw. We need more though so let’s pass this one around too. Before that can happen, here’s La Resistance to interrupt. They’re not cool with Foley humiliating him last week on national TV because Foley is a joke, JUST LIKE AMERICA!

We talk about Iraq some more (egads here we go again) and now it’s time to humiliate Foley. That’s why he’s going to salute the French flag or violence will ensue. Foley likes French fries, French toast and French’s mustard but he doesn’t like La Resistance. He’s not saluting the flag tonight so it’s almost on…..AND HERE’S THE ROCK! That wakes the fans up for the next year or so.

Rock isn’t sure what’s going on here because he knows Foley, he knows the people, he knows JR and King and he knows Lillian Garcia (“You still like the strudel?”) but he doesn’t know the two French guys. I think you know his reaction to their names and Rock wants to know if they were going to French kiss Foley to death. He accuses them of being a little Fifi themselves and threatens to smack their lips off their faces (that one never caught on). Dupree calls him Rocky and that doesn’t sit well with Rock.

They’re not going to win the Tag Team Titles on Sunday because one, they’re French and two, they suck. The French Army sucks too (and for some reason sounds like a Japanese stereotype) and would have surrendered to anyone. A tag match is teased until Foley calls the team the Sock N Rock Connection, which doesn’t sit well with Rock. The French guys jump them as they argue over the name but Rock remembers that he’s the Rock, meaning it’s time to nip up and beat the heck out of Dupree.

Mr. Socko sets up the spinebuster and People’s Elbow. Conway gets an Elbow of his own (from Foley this time) and Foley loads up Rock’s catchphrase. That is NOT cool though so Rock shows him how the tongue is supposed to go. Posing ensues and Rock even signs the Austin petition. This was a lot of fun and exactly the kind of a surprise that we needed after the boring stuff that goes on around here most weeks. Rock and Foley are always fun together and this was a blast all over again as it’s so rare to see Rock respect someone.

Bischoff has had Rock escorted from the building and makes Goldberg vs. Kane a lumberjack match with Bischoff himself picking the lumberjacks.

Booker T./Hurricane/Rosey vs. Mark Henry/Scott Steiner/Test

No Stacy Keibler in sight. Rosey runs Test over to start and drops a splash for two. It’s off to Hurricane for a rather positive reaction but Test tilt-a-whirl slams him down for some right hands. Steiner comes in for the push-up elbow and threatens Rosey with the same. A missed elbow allows the hot tag to Booker so house can be cleaned. The Spinarooni looks to set up the ax kick on Test but Henry comes in and runs people over as we take a break. Back with Henry dropping some big elbows and grabbing the chinlock.

Booker fights up but his rights and lefts have no effect. Henry’s clothesline gets two with Hurricane making the save and Steiner comes back in to some major booing. A forearm to the back keeps Booker down and Test slaps on a bearhug. Booker gets out with a spinebuster and brings in Hurricane to clean house. Hurricane’s neckbreaker drops Test but Henry comes in and runs him over, setting up the bearhug to knock Hurricane out for the win.

Rating: D. This was longer than it needed to be at nearly fifteen minutes, which didn’t help anyone but Henry. I know they’re going for the big monster push, but coming right after he lost to Goldberg isn’t the best strategy. He’s fine for what he is, but the bearhug and the monster offense feels like it’s out of the Hogan of the 1980s playbook.

Post match Booker gets bearhugged out as well.

Sign the petition!

Bischoff makes Evolution and Henry the lumberjacks.

The announcers recap the evening and run down the pay per view card.

Molly Holly/Victoria vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Joined in progress with Trish chopping Molly in the corner as Jericho and Christian are watching from the ramp. A dropkick gives Trish two but Victoria gets in a knee from the apron. The spinning side slam gives Victoria two as Jericho wants Trish to show him what she has. It’s already back to Molly who powerbombs Trish to break up a hurricanrana attempt. Trish avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Lita for a monkey flip and an STO (there’s a combination you don’t often see). Cue Matt Hardy for a distraction though, allowing Molly and Victoria to hit a side slam/belly to back combo to pin Lita.

Rating: D+. Another uninspired match, as you probably guessed given how fast it had to go. Molly and Victoria have nothing going on, to the point where I completely forgot that Molly was Women’s Champion. Trish and Lita were the story of course here, and I’m almost scared to see what’s going to happen in the mixed tag.

Kane vs. Goldberg

Non-title lumberjack match. Goldberg goes right for him with heavy right hands and a shoulder but Kane sends him over the top. The obligatory lumberjack beatdown is on with JR saying they’d be in jail if not for Bischoff making them lumberjacks. Back in and Goldberg hammers away but gets thrown out again, meaning it’s time for Evolution to beat on him some more.

Kane nearly drops him on a side slam and it’s off to a sleeper. Goldberg gets up and counters the chokeslam into an FU, allowing him to send Kane outside. JR is INCENSED that the lumberjacks don’t beat on Kane so Goldberg goes outside and throws Kane back in himself. The spear is loaded up but Orton comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Sloppy and not much to see here but at least they stuck with the formula that makes sense for the match. Keeping it short was the right move though as Goldberg is best used in short bursts. Sunday’s title match doesn’t do much for me but the triple threat lets HHH (who has managed to miss a good portion of the build while filming a movie) get the title back again without repeating the same match for what, the fourth time? Who cares if it’s not interesting for the fans?

The beat down is on so here are Rob Van Dam and Booker T. to get taken out as well. Shawn Michaels is in for the save with a “straight martial arts kick” (better known as Sweet Chin Music to everyone but JR) to Flair. Sweet Chin Music (JR got it that time) to Kane sets up the spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Rock’s segment came close to shaving this show but there’s only so much you can do on the go home show for a pay per view as lifeless as Sunday’s. This show is dying for someone with some energy near the top of the show as Goldberg is pretty obviously just holding the title for HHH and after that it’s a bunch of midcarders trying to be next in line to lose to HHH. That’s been the case for way too long now and it’s dragged the rest of the show down.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 1, 2003
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the final month of the year now and last week’s Raw Roulette….didn’t change much. At the moment we’re STILL on HHH vs. Goldberg, but the Trish/Lita/Chris Jericho/Christian story is still charging strong to keep the show interesting. Well mildly interesting but that’s better than nothing. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff is in the dark to start and announces Randy Orton/Batista/Kane vs. Rob Van Dam and Shawn Michaels for tonight. The evil boss continues.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a ticked off Goldberg to start things off. As he poses, we see a group of fans holding up the individual letter signs to spell out G-O-L-D-B-U-R-G. They have that many people in a group and no one knows how to spell? Goldberg talks about getting jumped from behind out here every single week and he’s tired of it. He wants HHH and Kane right now but here’s Bischoff instead, because we haven’t done a corrupt boss vs. top face story in a few weeks.

Bischoff yells at him for trying to create mass chaos on his show and threatens him with a firing, champion or not. This is the Eric Bischoff Show and Eric is all that matters. No one can stop him, but here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to interrupt. Foley introduces himself to Goldberg and says there’s something he can do about Bischoff. See, Linda McMahon thinks Vince is a little nuts at the moment, so Foley has been hired as an outside consultant with the power to make any necessary changes to this show. I’m not sure this company knows what “consultant” means.

Anyway, tonight Goldberg is going to be with Van Dam and Michaels in a six man tag instead of a handicap match. That’s it for Goldberg but Foley isn’t done. Next up is Steve Austin, who needs to be back on Raw. Foley has a petition to bring Austin back, which starts with Lillian and gets to go around the arena. Oh and Foley is the new Co-GM. So to recap, we’re right back where we were three weeks ago but with Foley instead of Austin. I’m so glad we’ve spent all that time getting so far.

Post break Bischoff calls Linda, who hangs up on him.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Jindrak and Cade are challenging of course. Cade tries to talk trash to Bubba to start s Bubba slaps him in the ribs (that’s a rare one) and demands respect. D-Von comes in for a powerslam and everything breaks down. Cade’s rollup with tights gets two so D-Von does the same thing (properly this time) to retain in a hurry.

Post match Cade demands we see the cheating on the screen so we see him cheating first. D-Von’s is shown second and that means they deserve a rematch. Well it’s not like the face run was working in the first place.

Al Snow is with Coach and says “Jade and Kindrak” (if I remember right, Snow did this on purpose to get people talking about the team, which is more than WWE did for a long time) could win the titles with another shot. Foley comes in and says he wants to relive the old days. People ask about his worst injuries and while losing the ear and the Cell dive hurt, nothing was as bad as Coach and Snow on commentary. Therefore, tonight it’s Coach vs. Lawler with Coach’s job on the line.

Booker T. vs. Test

Booker wastes no time in hammering away in the corner. Test drops him face first onto the turnbuckle but Booker punches him back again. A bicycle kick to the face (you don’t see Booker use that one very often) gets two but Test is right back with the pumphandle slam. Stacy Keibler shoves the feet off the ropes though and the distraction lets Booker hit the ax kick for the fast pin.

Post match Booker has Stacy do the Legarooni. The schoolgirl outfit is now even more popular but here’s Mark Henry to jump Booker and give him the World’s Strongest Slam.

Lita gives Trish Stratus a Chris Jericho action figure and Trish talks about how she’s never felt this way before. Trish tries to ask about Lita and Christian but Lita asks about last week. Apparently it was very special and they talked about their feelings all night. Tonight is going to be special too because she made him a Canada hockey jersey for him. She’ll give it to him tonight and have something special underneath it. Tonight might be “the” night.

JR and King tell us how we can sign the Austin petition online.

We look back at Batista destroying Shawn Michaels last week.

Batista wishes he had done more.

Here are Scott Steiner, Test and a distressed Stacy for a chat. Steiner thinks Stacy is forgetting her place, which is why she needs to join a special club. Vince McMahon founded it but it’s time for Steiner and Test to start their own chapter. The pants come down (only Steiner has anything underneath) but here’s Foley to interrupt. He’s got some more orders, including Stacy coming up to the stage to consult for him. As for her future, it’s not a problem because Test is fired. Steiner protests because they need to win the Tag Team Titles. Ok then, Steiner is fired too.

Post break Steiner and Test rant to Bischoff a lot. They leave with nothing fixed so Eric says he’ll take care of this himself.

La Resistance vs. Val Venis/Lance Storm

Foley is on commentary and openly admits that he’s drunk with power and loving it. Lawler is very confused as Foley says he sees some white meat babyface potential (his words) in La Resistance. Dupree dropkicks Venis out of the air to start as JR talks about being proud to be an American. A back elbow drops Venis for one and it’s off to the chinlock. Venis fights up and brings Storm in as everything breaks down. While Foley talks about Tag Team Turmoil returning at Armageddon, a quick Hart Attack ends Dupree in another short match.

Post match, Foley praises La Resistance despite their high levels of being French. He offers them a chance to be back on the good side with the Pledge of Allegiance. Conway kind of goes along with it but Dupree has nothing to do with it (because he’s not American). Therefore, Dupree is fired. Foley: “Oops I did it again.”

Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho vs. Miss Jackie/Rico

Trish can’t stop smiling at Jericho. Rico shoves Trish down at the bell and that’s not cool with Jericho at all. The guys start and it’s Rico poking him in the eye to take over. JR hopes Jericho and Trish “write a novel together”. After that odd line, Jericho chops away but can’t get an early Walls attempt. It’s off to the women with Trish firing off some forearms and chopping Jackie up against the ropes.

Jericho distracts the referee by mistake so Rico can get in a cheap shot, setting up Jackie’s suplex for two. It’s off to something like a dragon sleeper as Jerry questions Rico’s gender. A shoulder takes Trish down for two and it’s time for a botch with Jackie missing a clothesline but looking down at Trish, who falls without contact. Hey, all things considered between these two, that’s not half bad!

Trish gets in a spinebuster to set up the hot tag to Jericho as things speed up again. Rico SMACKS Jericho in the head with a springboard kick but gets punched out of the air. The bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho has to bail out. Instead it’s a slingshot dive to hit Rico on the floor, leaving Trish to hit the Stratusphere and Stratusfaction on Jackie for the pin.

Rating: C. All things (including that bad botch) considered, this was a minor miracle. Jericho is Jericho (and I love the face version more than the heel, at least in the ring) and Rico is underrated, but who knew that Jackie could have a pretty watchable match? Sure she wasn’t in there very long but she only botched one move, which is probably a record for her.

Eric recaps the night to Kane, who he wants to take care of Foley.

Matt Hardy vs. Christian

Matt, who is more handsome than Christian, has Mattitude Facts back. Lita is in Christian’s corner so she can keep up with Trish and Jericho. They slug it out to start and head to the floor as Lita looks on with a bit of a smile. Christian snaps the back of Matt’s neck across the top rope for two but gets caught in a suplex for two more. It’s almost weird seeing face Christian vs. heel Matt.

We hit the abdominal stretch as Lawler tries to find out what color thong Lita is wearing. Back up and Matt shoves Christian off the top to set up the middle rope legdrop for two. Matt grabs the double arm crank as Lawler wants to know what happened to the midget JR caught last week. The Side Effect cuts off another Christian comeback but Matt goes outside to yell at Lita. That goes nowhere so Matt crotches himself on the middle rope instead. The Unprettier gives Christian two but here’s Molly Holly to send Lita into the steps. Christian is distracted and gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you just need a nice match to spruce up a show. So much of the show has been built around the short matches and that’s not the most thrilling thing in the world. Let us have something a little more interesting, like this, and the show gets a lot better. Christian is an awesome face and it’s still strange to see this face/heel dynamic between these two.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Right hands, belly to back suplex, fist drop and pin in less than a minute. So that’s it for Coach.

You know the song that Lawler sings because IT’S THE SAME THING THEY DO EVERY TIME SOMEONE IS FIRED. The singing lasts as long as the match.

Pay per view rundown.

Jericho and Christian are in the back to talk about the moment that Christian and Lita just had. Chris laughs it off because Trish has been falling for everything he’s been saying for weeks. Something seems to be afoot as they talk about how close they are to, ahem, sealing the deal with their respective ladies. It turns out that they have a bet for a Canadian dollar of who can score first. As you might expect, Trish is right outside the door with the jersey she made. This is another example of wrestlers somehow not noticing the camera there for a REALLY IMPORTANT TALK.

Randy Orton/Batista/Kane vs. Goldberg/Rob Van Dam/Shawn Michaels

No HHH in sight. Orton and Van Dam get things going with Rob kicking away to start and loading up a far too early Five Star. That sends Randy bailing to the floor so Rob dives onto him, leaving Orton in a heap. Back in and Batista runs him over with a clothesline as the beating begins. Flair adds some choking so JR adds a plug for the awesome Flair DVD, followed by Rob kicking Batista in the face.

That’s enough for a tag off to Shawn so things can speed up again. The big elbow connects but a Flair distraction lets Kane chokeslam Shawn. Back from a break with Kane uppercutting Shawn down and handing it off to Batista. The fans want Goldberg but get Batista grabbing a chinlock instead. Batista switches to a choke so Shawn kicks him low (pretty out of character) to escape for the tag off to Goldberg. Orton is crushed in short order and Goldberg wants Kane.

The brawl is on with Goldberg pounding Kane down in the corner with a rather frenzied attack. There’s the spear but Evolution breaks up the Jackhammer. That sends Goldberg and Kane over the barricade to keep fighting and Orton takes Rolling Thunder. Flair pulls the referee out so Rob adds a Five Star with Foley running in to count the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill six man main event here with three feuds in one. I’ve always been a fan of that style and it’s the best thing you can do in a situation like this. I’d rather do something like this than try to squeeze in three short segments to hype up the matches individually. It’s also smart to have Rob get something on Orton because it’s been pretty one sided so far.

Post match Bischoff comes out and wants to talk to Foley one on one. Bischoff says Foley has killed Raw and Foley nods a bit. The thing is though, Foley never signed any release papers so everyone is still around. He just wanted to show Bischoff what happens when you get drunk with power like Bischoff. Foley is a man of the people and therefore, next week it’s Kane vs. Goldberg. For the people tonight, Foley brings out Mr. Socko to take care of Bischoff to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Foley being there helped but it feels like this show could have taken us to the middle of January instead of through two hours. Have Foley fire a person or two a week and THEN bring them back later when Bischoff is about to snap. Or have him bring them back in exchange for Austin being allowed to come back or something big like that. It’s still a good show and they made me more interested in the pay per view but I’ve going to need more than what I’m getting here. And just slow down a bit. That’s been a problem for WWE for years and it’s still one in 2003.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 17, 2003
Location: SE Texas Arena, Beaumont, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Survivor Series and that means we’re on the way to Armageddon to end the year. Eric Bischoff is back in full control of the show as Steve Austin’s team lost last night. I’m sure we’ll NEVER see him again. Goldberg is still the Raw World Champion too, having dispatched Evolution on a bad ankle. Why do I have a feeling that the HHH feud is far from over though? Let’s get to it.

Here’s Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Austin’s face comes up at the end of the opening and Bischoff spray paints it out. Not bad for a chuckle.

We hear Austin’s post match speech from last night, complete with photos and clips of his career, all the way back to 1989. The shot closes on the two beer cans Austin left in the ring.

In the arena, Bischoff and his team from last night look down on the same beer cans, which Eric stomps on. Those who have supported him are in for some good times but for those against him, it’s the beginning of the end. Each member of his team gets a special favor, good for anything anytime (within reason).

Cue the rest of Evolution with HHH congratulating Bischoff on his victory last night. The thing is though, it was Evolution that gave Bischoff the win. Without them, Austin would still be in charge. Bischoff agrees, so HHH can have a rematch with Goldberg any time. In a bizarre line, HHH says that’s “very white” of Bischoff (HHH to Long and Henry: “No offense guys.”). HHH blames the sledgehammer for the loss and instead of a title match tonight, we’ll have a 3-1 handicap match with Goldberg facing Evolution minus Flair. Bischoff says that’s the bottom line.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker wastes no time in hammering away but some hard forearms knock him backwards in a hurry. A kick to the chest rocks Henry but one heck of a clothesline takes care of that. They’re already doing things right with Henry here: have Henry stand in the middle while the more talented guy does his thing and bounces off of Henry. A sleeper brings Henry down to a knee until he powers Booker into the corner. Booker gets run over for good measure and Henry stands on his chest. Again: using the power game in simple, effective way is what serves Henry best.

We hit the neck crank for a bit until Henry misses a charge in the corner. Booker kicks away and the ax kick FINALLY puts Henry down. The missile dropkick does it again but Henry counters a third kick into a powerslam for two. Henry tries another charge into the corner, only to get rolled up with Booker putting his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too shabby at all here with Booker knowing how to get the best out of Henry. I know he gets a lot of flack and a lot of it is deserved but Henry has a role that few can play. Let him do his thing like this (maybe winning a match here or there) and it might get him somewhere. That’s a good asset to have when you need to give someone a rub down the line.

La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

There’s no graphic behind Cade and Jindrak’s names for some reason. The Americans clean house to start and for some reason, Cade is allowed to talk. He brings up his fellow Texans and dedicates the match to the armed forces (well to be fair it’s been like a week). Those are fighting words so we’re ready to go.

Back in and Conway scores with a hurricanrana as JR recaps the night. We’re not even half an hour into the show so it’s a bit early for a recap. A throat snap across the top rope gives Conway two on Jindrak but he suplexes Dupree out of the corner. Cade comes in to clean house and a very hard clothesline gets two on Dupree. The dropkick/spinebuster combination puts Conway away. The match was barely long enough to rate and the promo was after the bell. Not much to this one of course, but at least the rookies got a clean win for a change.

Shawn Michaels has something to say about the loss last night but Bischoff cuts the interview. Shawn talks about everything that went down last night and said it was about doing the right thing. All Bischoff cares about is the power but Bischoff says he didn’t lose last night like Michaels did. For tonight, Shawn is ejected from the building.

Stills of the ambulance match, which again made Shane look like a bigger star than most of the roster.

Kane will be on Smackdown to eulogize the Dudleys.

Scott Steiner has used his favor to get himself and Test a Tag Team Title shot. In exchange, he’s no longer Test’s property. Test agrees but makes it clear that Stacy is still his property and will do what he wants.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair

Flair is challenging, Orton is on commentary and as per Bischoff’s orders, the Five Star is banned. They pose at each other to start until Rob kicks him down and gets two off a standing moonsault. A spinning legdrop sends Flair bailing and it’s time for a slugout on the floor with Rob getting the better of it.

JR complains about the Five Star being banned, saying it would be like banning the RKO. Orton warns them to watch it because he seems them as a legendary announce team. Lawler gets the threat and says JR is a legend but says nothing about himself. As expected, it seems to go sailing over JR’s head. Flair sends him knee first into the steps to take over but the knee is fine enough for a spinwheel kick.

The Figure Four goes on until Rob turns it over so there’s a chop block for even worse measure. Rob pops back up with a middle rope spinning crossbody and superkicks Flair down. That’s enough to bring Orton to ringside but Rob kicks him down as well. Ric’s low blow only gets two and Rob loads up the Five Star, drawing in Orton for an RKO off the top and the DQ.

Rating: C. They were getting going here and that’s a good sign for when Orton takes the title from Van Dam. This seemed to exist for the sake of making Orton the next challenger and that’s the right call. Orton needs something like that to establish himself more as for now, he’s just a bunch of potential without a big win.

Orton puts the title on and drops it on Rob.

Coach makes fun of Hurricane and Rosey before going into Bischoff’s office. Eric has a big surprise for next week: Raw Roulette! In Salt Lake City, Utah! Bischoff is holding it there because the city is boring and they need something to make the show interesting.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho saying it’s not his fault that Austin was in over his head. Jericho wasn’t the sole survivor last night but he was the one who got the match off the ground in the first place. So he deserves a H*** YEAH for helping get rid of Austin! That brings him to his guest this week: Lita. She doesn’t seem happy to be here and doesn’t want to hear anything about Jericho or especially Christian.

Instead here’s Matt Hardy to return to Raw, drawing a big smile from Lita. Matt quickly kisses her and has a question that he has to ask from one knee. Before it can be asked though, here’s Molly Holly to interrupt. She has a question of her own: what does she have to do to get some respect around here? She’s the Women’s Champion and beat Lita at Survivor Series but who is out here getting the attention? Jericho likes the animosity and thinks we should have a mixed tag tonight. Molly agrees, but with Bischoff as her partner. Matt and Lita don’t know what to think.

Post break Bischoff asks what Molly is thinking. She thought this could be the beginning of the end for Lita, so Bischoff adds some stipulations: if they win, Lita is fired for good. If Matt and Lita win, Lita gets a rematch for the Women’s Title.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Scott Steiner/Test

Steiner/Test are challenging. The fans want tables but have to wait through D-Von and Test starting things off. Lawler: “They don’t have tables here in Beaumont, Texas? Do they eat off the floor?” Test powers him around to start but walks into a jumping elbow to the jaw. Steiner comes in and gets punched in the head for his efforts, before it’s off to Bubba in his hardcore shorts.

Stacy cheers as Bubba hits a side slam but then sits back down in her chair so Test can yell at her some more. We actually hear about the Duchess of Dudleyville, with Lawler bringing up the history. I’m as confused as you are. It’s back to Test for a running clothesline in the corner, followed by jumping jacks for a little exercise. You have to get it in when you can.

We hit the chinlock and Stacy slaps the mat to get Bubba back to his feet. That means a Bubba Bomb for a break and the hot tag brings in D-Von to clean house. Everything breaks down and a thumb to the eye looks to set up Test’s pumphandle slam. That’s escaped as well and What’s Up Test. He’s right back up (make your own joke) with a full nelson slam to D-Von but now he wants Stacy to throw him a belt. She says no, and that means a 3D to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. Actually a good match here with both teams getting to look good out there. Test and Steiner are fine for a power team and I would have tolerated them a lot more over the last several months had they just done this rather than the whole feud and owning Stacy thing. They need another few teams but the tag division is starting to put some pieces together for a change.

Matt and Lita are in the back with Matt saying he wanted their first kiss to be in front of the world. Haven’t they done that already? Anyway, now it’s about getting her a shot at the Women’s Title. Matt leaves and Trish comes in for the rapid fire giggling.

Lita/Matt Hardy vs. Molly Holly/Eric Bischoff

They all get jobber entrances for some reason and genders can mix. Lita throws Molly down to start as the announcers point out Bischoff wrestling in a suit. That’s rather nice for a change as there’s no reason for him to have gear ready. Molly pulls Lita into the corner for two and we hit the chinlock. A Reverse DDT gets Lita out of trouble as Jerry keeps talking about the suit. Eric comes in and gets slapped, allowing Matt to….drop to the floor instead of coming in. Bischoff pulls Lita down by the hair and gets a really bad rollup (there’s no way I’m buying Lita couldn’t kick out of that) for the pin.

Post match Matt says he was going to ask Lita how she could be so selfish. All she had to do was come join him on Smackdown but instead she had to come back to Raw for the Women’s Title. She couldn’t even do that right though and it’s clear that the title and her career mean more than him and their relationship. They are THROUGH and Matt walks out. And that’s the end of any drama between them for the rest of time.

Val Venis vs. Rico

Venis has the women and Lance Storm to counter Miss Jackie. An early shoulder puts Rico down as the announcers start talking about Matt and Lita as this is pretty clearly just background noise for their chatter. Rico escapes a suplex and grabs a Backstabber to take over as the announcers talk about the ratings.

We get back to the match with Rico hitting a knee lift and a discussion about which section of the closet Rico is in/coming out of/was in. Rico drops an elbow and gyrates the hips as the discussion moves to JR being put on the Roulette wheel next week. This is reaching WCW levels of ignoring the match.

Rico grabs the chinlock as Jerry thinks JR could be in an inferno match and JR reacts accordingly. Val fights up and hits some clotheslines as JR says Rico wouldn’t fit in down in Muskogee. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two and Val’s big boot gets the same. The Money Shot is loaded up but Val has to kick Jackie to the floor (in a big crash). She gets up to look at Storm, which isn’t noteworthy on its own but does include probably the longest nip slip in WWE history (edited but still visible on the Network). Rico gets shoved down as well and now the Money Shot is good for the pin. Storm wasn’t a factor.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t the worst (though it could have been about three minutes shorter) but the commentary here was what got the most focus. It was clear that the match was just there because they didn’t have anything else to do and I feel sorry for the wrestlers then. It’s nice to have them get out there and get to show off what they can do (in a watchable enough match) but egads can the announcers pretend that it matters?

Post match, Val and Storm dance with the ladies.

Lita (with her dog in her purse, which always looks dumb) is leaving when she runs into Christian. He has good news for her: he used his Bischoff favor to get her job back. Christian even picks up her bag and offers a shoulder to cry on, which she accepts.

Same Austin video as the opener.

We look at Orton RKOing Mark Cuban. Why that wasn’t a dark segment eludes me.

Orton has cashed in his favor for an Intercontinental Title shot at the next (unnamed) pay per view. He lists off some great Intercontinental Champions, forgetting HHH until the boss points it out. That’s fine enough because all that matters to HHH is getting the pin tonight in the handicap match.

Jericho asks Trish out for another date but she turns him down for being in on the Matt/Lita shenanigans. He denies all involvement and somehow offers up enough charm to get a kiss out of the whole thing.

Evolution vs. Goldberg

Orton starts for the team but his partners are quickly knocked to the floor with Randy being tossed on top of them. It’s off to Batista for the big power showdown but Goldberg knocks him down with one shot, followed by a powerslam for two. The ankle seems fine so far. HHH comes in and gets hammered in the face and suplexed.

Flair breaks up the spear though and HHH’s jumping knee to the face takes over. Orton’s dropkick rocks Goldberg but he spears the heck out of HHH. Batista and Orton get clotheslined down, only to have HHH come back with the facebuster. There’s the RKO (JR: “You gotta get up Billy.”) and a Batista Bomb, followed by the Pedigree to end Goldberg.

Rating: D. So to the shock of no one, last night’s win over HHH means nothing because we’re still waiting on him to get his title back from Goldberg. The normal question would be “well if that match didn’t count, why should I watch the next pay per view?” but that’s answered because everything gets important as soon as HHH gets the title back. This was all about rebuilding HHH, because Heaven forbid we go a DAY without him getting the upper hand on Goldberg.

Post match HHH says he’s cashing in his rematch next week. Tonight isn’t over though and he wraps a chair around Goldberg’s neck, drawing out Kane for the unlikely save. A sloppy chokeslam plants Goldberg to end the show instead.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the worst here but the important thing was the storytelling. HHH aside, this show moved a lot of the stories in new and/or positive directions. Trish/Lita/Jericho/Christian in particular is really shaping up and there are several ways they could go with it. Throw in a lot of people having issues with Bischoff and the need for some fresh names to rise up and fight him and I’m actually interested in where some of this stuff goes. Better show than recent weeks, and I’m curious to see where a lot of it goes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 27, 2003
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Evolution is back to full strength and Goldberg is down to one ankle after last week. Batista made his return from a long injury layoff to collect the bounty on Goldberg. That sets HHH up very well as we head towards Survivor Series, though we don’t have much set up for the show just yet. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the bounty being cashed in last week. Batista’s return went as well as it could have and makes him look like a killer in the process. This is set to what used to be Rey Mysterio’s WCW music, which must be public domain as it pops up every so often.

Opening sequence.

There’s a cage above the ring. Lawler: “Why is the cage here?” Maybe because there’s a cage match scheduled?

Here’s Evolution minus HHH and of course the fans are very happy to see Ric Flair. We get right to the point (how nice for a change) with Flair saying Goldberg won’t be here tonight. The fans seem rather indifferent, or at worst happy with the news. Batista was the man who did that and says that Goldberg shouldn’t see that as a negative. Instead he should think of it as an honor because HHH was impressed enough to want him taken out.

Batista is that much better than Goldberg and it was him who had all those near misses over the last few weeks. Orton wants to know who the champion is now because Goldberg is DONE. In all fairness it should go back to HHH but here’s Eric Bischoff instead, carrying a bag. Bischoff rants about losing Goldberg, the man he depends on to defend the title around the world. Do you know what losing him does to Bischoff? It makes him the happiest man on the planet.

Flair is livid, despite what should be the biggest layup in the world. Austin: “Settle down before you blow your pacemaker.” That’s the bottom line and Austin goes to leave but Batista says hang on a second. That kind of disrespect sounds like Austin is looking for physical provocation. A fight is teased but here are Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade (because WWE doesn’t learn lessons) to attack Orton and Flair.

Trish Stratus and Lita, in their underwear for obvious reasons, talk about Chris Jericho and Christian’s recent changes of heart. Lita is going to go see what she can find out.

Booker T. vs. Rico

Miss Jackie grabs Booker’s foot to start and Rico fires off the kicks to start. A chinlock goes nowhere as Jerry wants Rico to go back in the closet. The ax kick misses, Rico’s big kick misses and the ax kick finishes Rico in short order.

Post match here’s Jericho to yell at Booker for being on the wrong team at Survivor Series. He brings out the rest of Team Bischoff, now including Christian and Scott Steiner. Jericho wants the cage lowered and the big beatdown is on. Rob Van Dam comes in for the save and declares himself the newest member of Team Austin. That match is really starting to take shape.

Post break Jericho is yelling at Bischoff over Van Dam interfering. Jericho’s solution? Let him win the Intercontinental Title tonight. Bischoff agrees.

Mark Henry vs. Lance Storm

Teddy Long and Henry aren’t happy at losing the $100,000 last week and it’s time to get some payback. Henry throws him around for a few moments until Shawn Michaels runs in and superkicks Henry for the DQ. So much for Storm’s push.

Heidenreich is ready to team with Hurricane in his tag match. Hurricane mentions Little Johnny but he couldn’t be here tonight. Rosey comes up to take a picture of them and Hurricane mentions Johnny being Heidenreich’s son. Actually that’s not right and Heidenreich whispers the real story in Hurricane’s ear. The jaw drops and Rosey takes the picture, leaving Hurricane to say “and people say I’M weird for wearing a cape?”

Lita goes up to Christian in the back and wants to know what happened last week. Christian was reading her book and there’s a picture of the two of them holding hands. Apparently there was a bit of history but Lita acts like it’s nothing now. She leaves for her match, a bit flustered.

Shane McMahon has a match with a mystery opponent tonight and hopes it’s Kane.

Hurricane/Heidenreich vs. La Resistance

Conway jumps Hurricane as he tries to give his mask away but something like a backslide into the Eye of the Hurricane puts Conway down instead. Hurricane isn’t done and hits a big flip dive over the top to take Dupree down as well. Back in and Conway scores with a hanging swinging neckbreaker to really take over as Heidenreich tries to come in for the save.

We hit the USA chants (from the Army, Air Force and Marines members in the crowd) until a clothesline cuts Hurricane down for two more. It’s off to the chinlock as the announcers start with the FRANCE SUCKS jokes. A neckbreaker gets Hurricane out of trouble and it’s Heidenreich coming in to clean house. Conway eats a bicycle kick for two and a Rock Bottom is enough to put him away.

Rating: D+. Fairly boring here but good grief I’m sick of the RAH RAH RAH USA USA USA matches. I know Vince loves that kind of stuff but it’s getting a little hard to take. If nothing else, have someone better than La Resistance as the evil anti-Americans. They’ve lost most of their last few matches and it’s getting harder and harder to care.

Post match Heidenreich breaks up an attempt to wave the French flag.

Shane McMahon vs. ???

No DQ and the mystery opponent is…..Test? Well maybe not as he has a broken foot and is on crutches while wearing street clothes. He’s here to introduce the mystery opponent tonight and it’s….Test. Uh, ok then. Shane peppers him with left hands and stomps on the bad foot, sending Test to the floor to call for backup.

Shane goes up top and loads up a dive but Test pulls Stacy in front of him. With Test shouting for Kane (by name), Shane hammers away until Test sends him into the steps. But now, let’s wait for Test to shout for Kane again. A full nelson slam plants Shane but rather than covering, TEST SHOUTS FOR KANE.

It’s weapons time with Test in control until Stacy slows him down. The distraction lets Shane get in a few shots and load up the Van Terminator. Kane’s pyro goes off and Test gets in a crutch shot for two. The pumphandle slam is countered into a DDT onto the trashcan for two more and they’re both rocked. Shane chairs him into the corner and now the Van Terminator connects for the pin.

Rating: D. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: we spent months on Test vs. Steiner and the next step is Test getting to job to Shane on Raw? I still have no idea why this needs to be Shane when he could be any given wrestler. He’s better than Stephanie due to the more logical motivation and having better matches but still, this could be anyone else who needs the spotlight.

Post match Shane accuses Kane of being scared. He should be scared, but he should be showing his face. If Kane won’t come out, he’ll offer a demonstration. That means beating Test up even more and crushing his foot on the steps with a chair. This brings Kane to the stage but no further. Shane announces that Survivor Series will be an ambulance match, which is even dumber than what they’ve been doing so far.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

#1 contenders match. Lita knees Victoria in the corner and Trish gets two off a spinebuster. Molly, in jeans, a leather jacket and a low cut top (by her standards) is watching from the stage. That’s a rather nice look for her. Trish’s rollup gets two on Victoria and takes her down with a headscissors out of the corner.

Stevie Richards takes Trish down though and Lita gets double teamed. A powerbomb gets two on Gail and the Widow’s Peak gets the same on Lita. Victoria and Gail get in a fight with Kim being sent outside, leaving Lita to grab a DDT for the pin. Too short to rate, but it’s as rushed as you would imagine a four way that doesn’t even last three minutes to be.

Coach is getting his makeup done while reading Austin’s new book.

Video on Hawk.

Here’s Coach to review the book. He even has a podium with The Coach’s Book Review on a sign. Coach calls most of the statements in the book lies, focusing on Bischoff firing Austin from WCW. Cue Austin to offer Coach a free shot but Coach offers him the same thing. Austin has to decline but after his team wins at Survivor Series, he’d like Coach to do the post match interview because it’s the first face Austin wants to see.

Jindrak and Cade are ready to win so here’s Shawn to give them a pep talk. They go off for their match when Teddy comes in to yell about Shawn superkicking Henry. Teddy wants Henry vs. the “Heart Break Cracker” next week. Shawn says he could have cut off the rhetoric “you feel me playa?” Teddy: “Holla.” Teddy leaves so here’s Bischoff to have security escort Shawn from the arena.

JR and King thank the fans for their viewership as Raw was the highest rated cable show of the week.

Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade vs. Ric Flair/Randy Orton

Orton and Jindrak start things off but hang on a second as MAVEN, the definition of inspiration, is here to cancel out Batista. Make your own jokes, but that speaks for itself. Cade comes in and gets stomped down before it’s off to Flair (in red, meaning he’s likely losing) for an elbow to the jaw. Orton’s dropkick gets two but a double clothesline allows the hot tag to Jindrak.

Some very nice dropkicks have Evolution in trouble but Flair rolls Jindrak up. The referee is busy though so Maven comes in, runs at Flair with his arm extended, BARELY grazes Ric’s hair, and somehow turns the rollup over to give Jindrak the pin. I had to rewind the video a few times to see how Maven could have possibly missed that. Flair didn’t duck, so yes, Maven managed to miss a still target on a running clothesline.

Rating: D. The ending is absolutely the right call (though Maven needs target practice) as the young guys getting a pin is a good thing. However, they’re just so boring and uninteresting that their win is only going to get them so far. Give them a team name (or better names in general) or some matching gear or a gimmick of some sort. Just do SOMETHING because they’re putting me to sleep.

Evolution wrecks the boring guys post match. Batista looks very good dominating people here.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob is defending and wastes no time with a spinning crossbody out of the corner. Jericho blocks a charge with a raised boot and a jumping enziguri gets two. They’re not exactly wasting any time here. We hit the double arm crank on the champ but Rob is quickly out and avoiding a charge into the post to send Jericho’s shoulder into the steel. Back up and the Five Star misses so Jericho can sneak in a low blow. The Walls go on but here’s Bischoff to distract the referee. As you might expect, Van Dam’s rope grab isn’t seen and Jericho pulls him back to the middle of the ring for the tap.

Rating: C-. It was fun while it lasted but it didn’t last long at all. I know Van Dam was in the ropes but he’s tapping out in less than five minutes? That’s quite the stretch and while I can buy it, you know this is going to be setting up a rematch and that’s not the worst thing in the world. These two work well enough together that I’d like to see them go at it again.

Hang on a second as Austin comes out and makes the rematch RIGHT NOW….inside of that steel cage. Bischoff runs up the ramp to yell at Austin but trips into him by mistake, meaning the chase is on.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is defending inside a cage. Joined in progress with Rob in trouble thanks to the weakened back. A missed dropkick makes things even worse and Jericho drops an elbow for good measure. It’s off to the backbreaker with Jericho bending the back over his knee (thank goodness for mixing up the holds) as the back is banged up even worse.

Rob sends him into the cage a few times for his first offense but it’s too early to go over the top. Instead Jericho pulls him down and slams him off the top. This time it’s Jericho going up but Rob pulls him back down and they fall down to the mat in a double heap. Rob pulls him in again and superkicks him off the ropes before going over the top. Jericho goes for the door but Rob kicks it into his head and wins the title back.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. I guess the idea here is to show the power struggle between Bischoff and Austin, just in case the last four months didn’t explain that in enough detail. The match was, again, too short to mean anything but at least they both get a second reign out of the thing. That Jericho reign is probably shorter than Dean Douglas’ though, so at least we got some history out of the thing.

Post match Christian and Steiner come in to destroy Van Dam. Cue the Dudleys through the crowd to even things up but Mark Henry comes in as well. Teddy locks the cage as the beating is on so here’s Booker T. to dive off the top of the cage. Henry shrugs it off and hits a bunch of World’s Strongest Slams to end the show. They certainly added to that match in a hurry.

Overall Rating: D. This is a give and take show. While there’s nothing good in the way of wrestling, there is a clear plan for where most (if not all) of these stories are going. You can see a lot of Survivor Series from here and that’s a major upgrade over the meandering stories that basically came down to “how can we make HHH look good”. While not a good show, it’s actually a positive sign for the future and that’s not something you get too often on Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena sticks and moves to start but Show throws him to the floor with ease. Still mostly uneducated, Cena tries to come back in with a high cross body and gets powerslammed to teach him a lesson. Cole describes a headbutt from Show as being hit in the head with a typewriter. Are there a lot of reports of being hit in the head with typewriters and comparisons to headbutts from large wrestlers?

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Bubba tries a little Flip Flop and Fly but gets kick in the face for his troubles. Van Dam adds one to D-Von and we settle down to Jindrak beating on Booker. Dupree tags himself in and La Resistance takes over with stomps and a bow and arrow from Conway. After far too long in the hold, Booker gets up and grabs a spinebuster, allowing the tag to Van Dam. House is quickly cleaned as everything breaks down. Cade breaks up 3D on Booker but Booker nails the scissors kick on Conway, followed by the Five Star to retain at 7:57.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. This was an awesome story as the two were tag partners who made a bet over who could “nail” Lita or Trish respectfully for $1 Canadian. Lita dropped out of the story pretty quickly but Jericho started to actually fall for Trish. She started to have feelings for Jericho too but Christian hated the fact that she was breaking up the team. Christian beat her up in an intergender match to teach Jericho (a full on good guy by now) a lesson. This started a feud between the two and the big showdown is at Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

The aggressive Jericho controls to start and backdrops Christian from the apron out to the floor in a unique spot. A springboard plancha puts Christian down but he comes right back with something like a belly to back suplex to send Chris out to the floor in a huge crash. A chinlock keeps Jericho down for a bit before they ram heads to keep him down even longer.

Jericho counters into the Walls though and holds on even as Christian crawls through the ropes to the floor. This brings Trish out to ringside as Christian plants Jericho with a DDT. Trish gets up on the apron so Christian drags her in. Jericho goes over to check on her and gets elbowed in the face by mistake, knocking Jericho into a rollup for the pin at 14:56.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but this was much more about the story than the action. This story worked really well all around and everyone comes out of it looking better, mainly because they took their time and let the story build instead of wedging it into a month and then doing one match followed by a gimmick rematch. It makes for a better story and the whole thing works.

Post match Jericho goes after Christian again but Trish holds him back, only to slap him into the Unprettier. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage. This gives us evil Trish which, in a word, worked.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Rating: B. This was great fun with Rock and Flair being the hams that only they can be. They knew they were in the big arena for the smart fans and they played right to them. The real star here though was Foley, who made Orton look like a star here, just as he was supposed to do. They would do that again the next month at Backlash in their big showdown where Foley put Orton over and made him look like a star. Orton would be World Champion in August and these two matches played a big role in getting him there.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony, which made its return after an eight year absence. The line of the night came from Bobby Heenan. After thanking everyone: “One thing is missing. I wish Monsoon was here.” That gets me every time.

The Class of 2004 is brought out for the audience and each gets an introduction: Bobby Heenan (playing to the crowd the entire way through), Tito Santana, Big John Studd (represented by his son), Harley Race (the fans start cheering before Gene can start talking), Pete Rose (celebrity induction and said to be incredibly humble and thankful for the honor), Don Muraco, Greg Valentine (much bigger reaction than I was expecting), Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter), Billy Graham (loudest ovation of the group in a bit of a surprise), Sgt. Slaughter (USA chant) and Jesse Ventura.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Clips of fans coming from around the world to see Wrestlemania.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a gauntlet match with Chavo Guerrero (with his father Chavo Sr.) defending and going in last at #10. Shannon Moore and Ultimo Dragon (a Japanese legend who trips twice during his entrance) start things off fast with some near falls until Shannon scores with a belly to back suplex. Dragon avoids a corkscrew moonsault press and grabs the Asai DDT (kind of a standing sliced bread #2) for the pin at 1:17.

Jamie Noble (a country redneck) is in at #3 and blasts Dragon from behind, only to take some rapid fire kicks to the chest. Noble comes right back with a guillotine choke for a submission at 2:15. Funaki comes in at #4 with a high cross body but Noble rolls through into a pin at 2:23. Nunzio (a stereotypical Italian) is in at #5 and lasts a bit better as the fans want their pizza. A quick rollup gets two on Noble and Nunzio gets the same off a middle rope dropkick.

This set up a showdown here with Austin as guest referee to try to hold things together. The problem is word leaked that both guys were leaving as soon as Wrestlemania was over and the fans all knew about it. This could go bad in a hurry, especially in the smarkiest of all smark strongholds.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Another big shoulder apiece puts both guys down as we hit six minutes. Brock gets in the first strike with a kick to the ribs at just under seven minutes. A gorilla press into a spinebuster drops Lesnar but Goldberg misses a spear in the corner. The fans are all over Goldberg now as Brock hits two straight suplexes.

Off to a side choke from Brock to eat up time before they have the nerve to do a double clothesline. Goldberg comes back with more clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a spear for two. Austin and Goldberg argue a bit and Brock grabs an F5 for two. Back up and Goldberg hits a big spear but is booed out of the building. The Jackhammer ends Lesnar at 13:48.

Lesnar throws up two middle fingers (which he later said were to Vince and not the fans) and gets Stunned. Austin throws Goldberg a beer, then throws him two more after he drops the first one. Goldberg is booed out of the building and takes a Stunner, followed by Austin consuming a lot of beer.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

Fireworks go off from the roof of Madison Square Garden.

Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for making Wrestlemania what it is on behalf of everyone who has ever performed for him and his entire family. Nothing else said here but this was a very nice moment.

The champs dance a bit.

Edge is returning from his neck surgery soon.

Molly Holly is ready for her title shot.

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair. Feeling out process to start with Molly taking over in the corner, only to be sent out to the floor. Back in and a quick basement dropkick gets two on the champ and we hit a neck crank. A powerslam gets two for Victoria but Lawler keeps trying to talk about the evening gown match. Molly mostly powerbombs Victoria out of the corner for two but a quick backslide retains the title at 4:56.

Rating: C-. This needed more time as they were flying through the match because they only had five minutes instead of a realistic length. If only there was some other stuff they could have cut out from the show that meant absolutely nothing and just ate up parts of the show. These two were both very talented women and they could have a good match if they were given the chance.

After the long video, Molly is still being shaved and is completely bald. The fans are impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending of course and rides out in a low rider truck. They hit the mat to start with Eddie hanging with Angle at first until Kurt grabs a headlock. A top wristlock goes well for Angle and he shoulders Eddie down for good measure. Back up and Eddie nails a hard shoulder of his own but is still feeling the effects of the arm work.

Angle is FURIOUS.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. Kane hated Undertaker for abandoning the dark side and becoming the biker so Kane helped Vince bury Undertaker alive at Survivor Series 2003. This brought back the Undertaker Kane wanted, but this Undertaker wanted revenge for being buried alive. People tend to do that at times.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Side note: so was that stuff with Bischoff sending Coach to find Undertaker just to set up the Heenan/Okerlund bit? Sounds like a bit of overkill.

Backlash ad.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. HHH

The champ gets rolled with some Germans but Shawn crotches Benoit on top. Sweet Chin Music misses the champ and Shawn gets caught in a DDT. That earns HHH a Crossface until Shawn makes the save. Shawn actually tries a German on Benoit and the fans ROAR when Benoit reverses into a trio of them. The Swan Dive gets two on Shawn and all three are down. Benoit is knocked to the floor so we can get the Shawn vs. HHH quota out of the way. Sweet Chin Music is good for two with Benoit making a last second save.

The Vince dark room video and part of his speech take us to the highlight package.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2015 Redo: F

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6