Raw this week was again about pushing the major stories as we get closer to Extreme Rules. However there was another story aside from the two main events that blew the doors off this week. There wasn’t much wrestling but there was an old drunk guy that embarrassed himself yet again, meaning he’ll be invited back for years. Let’s get to it.

We kick things off with a bang as John Cena comes into the cage opening the ring. Cena isn’t sure what to think as the fans have seemingly turned their backs on him last week when they put him in a three on one handicap match against the Wyatt Family. It was a match he couldn’t win and the fans gave him no chance. Cena wanted to know why the fans supported someone who didn’t have his passion and warns them that if Bray wins on Sunday, his message will soon take over the world. Then the crazy started.

The lights went out and a group of children could be heard singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. The lights came back on and it was indeed a choir of children all in black. Bray came out with the lantern as the children surrounded the ring and kept singing. The lights came on again and they were all wearing the masks and saying Bray had the whole Cenation in his hands. One of the kids sat on Bray’s lap as he evily laughed and the camera zoomed in on the kid’s mask. Cena was completely distraught throughout the whole thing.

Where do I even begin with this? It was a genuinely disturbing sign and potentially opens the door for a lot of ideas. What does Cena do when Bray has power over the group of fans he loves the most turns on him? What does Cena do when everyone is booing him? What do you do with a man has the power to control children? I have no idea, but I’m really curious to see where this goes. One thing is clear though: under no circumstances can Cena win at Extreme Rules. I can defend a lot of Cena’s booking but there’s no real way to say that’s the right move.

The Usos defeated Ryback/Curtis Axel in a Tag Team Title match. The story here was that one of the Usos (by the way, no it doesn’t matter which it was. They’re the same guy for all intents and purposes) hurt his ankle and couldn’t move as well in the second half of the match. That’s fine for a story, but when you tag him in and he’s just fine and can do all the things he normally does, the story doesn’t mean anything. He was throwing superkicks and dives like his ankle was fine, so why even bother doing the angle at all? That’s the kind of stupid thinking that drives me insane.

Adam Rose debuts next week. That should be awesome even if it’s just a squash.

Heyman told Cesaro not to listen to people saying he’s a liar, because he’ll get Cesaro to the top. This is still in the seed planting stages but the harvest will be awesome.

Sheamus beat Titus O’Neal in a 35 second match. This is another good example of how awful Sheamus’ booking has been lately. Titus attacked him and had Sheamus in trouble, but Sheamus just popped up and won with a single move. Would it really kill them to have Sheamus lost a single match or to actually show some weakness? I honestly don’t get this booking at all and I haven’t for months.

The Hugh Jackman/Damien Sandow/Dolph Ziggler stuff just kind of happened. Jackman is cool when he’s out there and I like that they actually tied it into his previous appearance. Sandow as Magneto actually made me chuckle and that’s the idea of the segment. Someone in the WrestleZone live discussion pointed out that Sandow was destined for comedy and the more I think about it, the more I completely agree. Sandow explaining science and math to people has potential though.

Cesaro beat Swagger in a meaningless match. I did like him winning with a German suplex instead of the Neutralizer though. It’s always nice to see people mix stuff up. Heyman pulling Zeb’s mustache for a distraction was long overdue though.

Alberto Del Rio squashed Cody Rhodes to further the Rhodes Brothers split. Nothing to see here as usual but it was fine.

Rusev and Woods had an angle disguised as a match. The squash should work fine at Extreme Rules, just like it did for Brock against the Hardy Boys at Judgment Day back in 2002, and yes I know that was a handicap match but his partner was Heyman so we’ll call it a handicap match.

3MB actually won a match against Los Matadores. The main thing here was the announcement of the Wee-LC match on Sunday’s pre show. I still don’t like the Horny vs. Torito feud but them playing it so over the top actually makes it much easier to sit through rather than them just playing it as a boring match that no one cares about.

Stephanie’s apology to Bryan was about what you would expect it to be. I’m surprised at how natural Brie Bella being out there with Daniel feels. The fact that they’re married in real life helps a lot though as I’m not waiting on them to break up at the drop of a hat for a storyline. Stephanie playing it serious is interesting but I think we all know it’s another ruse.

This led directly into Brie facing Paige for the Divas Title in another angle disguised as a match. Kane interfered about two and a half minutes in and tried to kidnap Brie but Bryan made the save. I liked that he sent Brie to the back like someone logically would do, but she came back and almost got pulled under the ring anyway. Bryan getting laid out again works fine and the match on Sunday should be pretty solid. The post break stuff with Brie screaming at Stephanie actually worked. The Bellas are still annoying but Brie seems far more like a human than her sister.

Cena gave a serious promo (odd line about Bray riding a mule aside) about Bray that made it sound like he’s going to war. This is the Cena I can get behind, but again he has to lose on Sunday.

Barrett beat RVD in a very obvious ending to a better than expected match. The post match stuff sets up RVD vs. Cesaro vs. Swagger on Sunday, which almost has to go to Cesaro.

The big segment to almost end the show was Ric Flair returning to Raw to talk about how great Evolution was. The surprise was that he wound up endorsing Shield before walking out. However, the interesting part here was that Flair was clearly drunk, as is almost always the case. How in the world this is considered ok in WWE’s eyes is beyond me, as anyone else that showed up like this would be fired almost immediately.

The main event was Orton vs. Reigns which didn’t last long and ended with everyone running in for a DQ. Evolution looked do destroy Shield to end the show but Shield fought back and stood tall to end things in a nice surprise.

This was another Raw that would have been a classic if it was only two hours long. The middle hour just crippled it though and even a good third hour wasn’t enough to make the save. It also didn’t help that nothing was going to top that Wyatt segment, which is often the case around WWE anymore. I’m ready for Extreme Rules though and that’s the most important thing a go home show can do.
 

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He’s kind of lost in the shuffle.Watching the Daniel Bryan documentary on the Network (worth checking out if you have an hour to kill) and it becomes obvious that he’s kind of lost right now.  The problem at the end of the day is we got the big moment at Wrestlemania and now everything has changed.  Yeah he’s still a big deal and incredibly over, but we hit the big point that everyone was waiting for.  The match with Kane will be good and the story is rather good, but it’s not the top story.  He’s proven that he’s worthy of being a top guy and will be for a long time, but it’s kind of hard to go anywhere after that huge story we just finished up.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and we’ve got most of the card set. The main stories are of course Daniel Bryan vs. Kane and Evolution vs. Shield with the latter being the bigger match of the two. Things are still solid after Wrestlemania but it feels like something is missing as we head into the follow up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Wyatts vs. Cena last week and Bray cradling Cena’s head to end the show in a disturbing scene.

There’s a cage around the ring in the arena and here’s John Cena to a good reaction. Cena had a disturbed look on his face and wants to know why the fans put him in a 3-1 handicap match last week. He seems hurt by the idea because the fans gave him no chance last week. John believes the statement that you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Ten years ago in this building, John Cena was drafted to Raw (it was nine years ago) and the fans cheered for him.

Now it’s ten years later and the fans aren’t cheering him as much because they’ve moved on to Bray Wyatt. Cena knows that he can’t do this forever and he has to step aside at one point. He loves that idea though because he sees a bunch of people in the locker room ready to take his spot like Reigns, Rollins, Cesaro and Bryan. Cena even knows names like Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn from NXT because they have the same passion that he has to entertain the people.

Bray Wyatt doesn’t have that passion because Wyatt’s passion is Bray Wyatt. On Sunday, the Wyatt Family will be kept out and Bray’s message will be kept in. If Wyatt escapes, his message and corruption will continue to manipulate and the world won’t have a chance. The Wyatts hack the feed but we only hear what sounds like a group of children singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

The lights come back up and there’s a whole choir of children on the stage in black robes singing the song. Bray and the Family come out with the lantern to sing as well and the children follow him to the ring. Bray gets them to sing about having the whole Cenation and the Big Bad Monster in his hands as well.

The lights go out save for the lantern and when they come back on, all of the kids are wearing the sheep masks. Cena has no idea what to do. One of the kids is sitting on Bray’s lap as he laughs like a demonic villain. A closeup of the kid’s mask takes us to a break. This was one of the most bizarre and disturbing things I can ever remember watching.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Usos are defending and the challengers now have team music. We even get Big Match Intros before it’s Axel vs. Jey to start. Cole suggests that the Usos are in trouble here, despite being on fire for months and beating this team before. A quick cross body puts Axel down and it’s off to Ryback who misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. The challengers are sent to the floor and there are the double dives to put them down. Jey is holding his ankle though as we head to a break.

Back with Axel cranking on Jimmy’s arm as the trainer is checking on Jey’s ankle. A running knee to the head puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Ryback for a series of covers and two each. Jey is able to knock Ryback down and suplexes Axel down onto him, allowing for the tag to a taped up Jey. The injury doesn’t seem to matters as Jey comes in with a cross body for two on Axel and a superkick to Ryback. There’s a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack for two but a blind tag brings in Ryback.

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Rating: C-. So what was the point of the injury? It didn’t change a thing about the match and Jey barely sold the thing at all, so why bother having it except for some drama that was broken up about three minutes later? The division is very thin at this point and we have a bunch of talent with nothing to do. Why this isn’t a layup for WWE’s creative team…..really doesn’t surprise me.

Adam Rose debuts next week.

Heyman tells Cesaro to not listen to RVD about Heyman’s morals or business practices. This of course turns into a discussion about Undertaker’s Streak being broken when he messed with Heyman. Paul admits that he’s a ruthless liar and completely unethical but he takes his clients to the top. That’s all Cesaro needs to hear.

We recap Kane attacking Bryan last week. Stephanie will apologize later tonight.

Kane’s mask is in its case.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neal

Titus jumps Sheamus during his entrance and sends him into the barricade a few times. Sheamus tastes the post as well before being sent into the ring for some right hands to the face. He says he’s ready to go though and we have a bell. Titus is on him again and hammers in the corner as Sheamus still has his shirt on….but he hits the Brogue Kick anyway for the pin at 35 seconds. And the annoying booking of Sheamus continues.

You should Bolieve.

Dolph Ziggler is in the ring in street clothes to talk about how this is his favorite time of the year. The weather is nicer, the girls look a little bit better, and the superheroes return to the ring. He’s talking about explosions, things being thrown all over the place and total chaos. But enough about his place on a Saturday night. Here’s a clip from the new X-Men movie. Ziggler brings out X-Men star Hugh Jackman who plays to the crowd quite well.

Jackman talks about how much he loves Raw because anything can happen. Ziggler says that’s true and shows us a clip of Hugh knocking Ziggler out so Zack Ryder could get a pin. Dolph says Jack Swagger has hit him harder than that and they bury the hatchet. This brings out Damien Sandow in a Magneto costume to brag about how a supervillain is now played by someone with intelligence.

They trade some insults and Sandow says tonight the two of them will meet their fate. Jackman touches the cape as Ziggler looks like he’s about to lose it. Sandow displays his “power” by trying to pull the microphone out of Jackman’s hands but gets hiptossed and Zig Zagged instead. I’m not sure what to say about this one.

We look at Evolution reforming and Shield destroying a bunch of people on Smackdown.

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match, Heyman has a joke for us. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Mike. Mike who? Mike lient Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania. Heyman promises to never mention the Streak again before bragging about Cesaro winning the battle royal.

Swagger tries an early suplex but gets countered into rolling gutwrench suplexes. They head outside with Cesaro being sent into the barricade for two before Swagger cranks on a double chicken wing. Swagger loads up the Vader Bomb but Heyman goes after Zeb’s mustache for a distraction, allowing Cesaro to hook a German suplex for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This feud isn’t doing much for me but it’s cool to see Cesaro throw people around like they’re children. Heyman going after the mustache was a great touch and the match was more entertaining than it should have been. I don’t care much for Swagger though and he drags things down when he’s on screen.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena has nothing to say about what happened earlier.

The mask is still in the case.

Cody Rhodes vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio quickly takes him down for two but Cody comes back with a clothesline and slam for two of his own. Not that it matters as Alberto hits him in the head again and gets another near fall off a belly to back suplex. Cody hits a dropkick but walks into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up a chinlock. Back up and the springboard dropkick is countered with a punch to the ribs, setting up the armbreaker from Del Rio for the submission at 3:20.

Rating: D+. I’m guessing this is for angle advancement as it was basically a Del Rio squash. My goodness I can’t remember the last time I actually got to type that. The match was nothing special and I wish it had been Goldust doing the job instead of someone like Cody who might have a lengthy future.

Cody walks away from Goldust again post match.

Heyman and Cesaro have a meeting in the back.

Alexander Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

Squash for about 40 seconds until R-Truth runs in for the DQ. The team knocks Rusev to the floor and stands tall before their handicap match on Sunday.

We see John Cena granting three Make-A-Wishes this morning.

RVD is ready to beat Bad News Barrett tonight. Zeb Colter comes in and suggests an alliance against their common enemy in Paul Heyman but RVD declines.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

McIntyre and Slater here. The pre show match on Sunday is a, I kid you not, Wee L C match involving all of these guys plus the small ones. McIntyre sends Diego into the corner to start before it’s off to Slater. Heath doesn’t do all that well and it’s quickly off to Fernando who cleans house. The announcers of course spend the match making short jokes as Torito Gores Mahal’s groin into Hornswoggle’s head. Back in the ring and Slater hits an elevated DDT on Fernando for the pin at 2:19. JBL: “OH MY GOD 3MB WON! BARRY HOROWITZ IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE AND HE’S NOT EVEN DEAD!”

Post match Hornswoggle misses a dive and crashes on the floor. Torito dives on 3MB.

Here’s Stephanie for the apology to Bryan. She calls out the champ and gets both him in a neck brace (minus belts) and Brie Bella who leads the YES chants. Daniel says he almost believed Stephanie when she was telling Kane to stop last week but she’s full of lies. Stephanie says she deserves that and the truth is she and HHH never wanted Bryan to be WWE Champion. Emotions ran high and got out of control.

Bryan says Stephanie’s emotions ran high, so how do you think his wife felt when the Authority was trying to take him out and had to let him do it on his own. Stephanie apologizes again and says she knows what it’s like for your husband to be in an ambulance. She’s sorry on behalf of the entire family for unleashing the demon and for everything else she’s done. Daniel still doesn’t buy it so she asks him to come down to the ring to convince him face to face.

Bryan says he’s going to see a liar if he gets in the ring and that Kane will be here at the snap of a finger. His head hurts and he can’t move his neck, but he’s never given up in his life. He’s been cleared for Sunday and if Kane takes him down, Bryan is taking Kane with him. Stephanie says she can give them something to make up for what happened last week. She offers Brie a Divas Title match tonight but Bryan says he’ll be there with her. The match is right now.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Brie Bella

Paige is defending. Before the match we cut to the back and see that the mask is gone. They trade some holds to start with Brie taking over with a flying mare and dropkick for two. Paige screams a lot and slams Brie into the mat before getting two off a northern lights suplex. Brie comes back with a kick to the face and a hard running knee. She goes up top but gets punched in the gut, setting up a nice superplex to put both girls down. Not that it matters as we’ve got Kane.

Daniel is waiting for him in the aisle but Kane comes up through the ring and tries to pull Brie down. Bryan tries to make a save but the neck injury slows him down. Kane stalks Brie as Bryan is down on the floor. He drags her to the hole but Bryan comes in with I think a wrench to knock Kane silly. Of course he sits up as Bryan tells Brie to get out. A chokeslam leaves Bryan laying. She gets back in like an imbecile and has to scramble away from Kane as he tries to drag her into the hole. Bryan is helped to the back by medics. The match went to a no contest at about 2:20.

Back from a break and a doctor is checking on Bryan when Stephanie comes in again to apologize. Bryan says he’ll be at Extreme Rules and will make her regret dragging Brie into this. Brie yells at Stephanie and calls her something you don’t say to your boss.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena says the choir freaked him out but he knows the crowd hasn’t turned their backs on him. The crowd was still reacting to him and that gives him hope. Cena is ready for Sunday and will buy Bray a singing mule. The singing ends on Sunday.

Bad News Barrett is on his podium and has some BAD NEWS for RVD. The slogan for the company is Then, Now and Forever. RVD should only be Then, because he’s only living on the past.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Rob Van Dam vs. Bad News Barrett

Winner gets Big E. for the title on Sunday. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking him down to the mat with a headlock. Barrett misses a charge and falls to the floor, setting up a moonsault from the apron to take down Bad News. Back in and Barrett sends Rob out to the floor almost immediately before doing the thumb pointing. They head inside again with Rob getting two off a rollup but getting thrown into a kick to the ribs in the corner.

Back from a break with Barrett holding a chinlock. Winds of Change get two and a neckbreaker gets the same for Barrett. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rob fights up and nails a superkick. Some clotheslines and the step over kick look to set up Rolling Thunder but here’s Cesaro for a distraction. Swagger intercepts Cesaro but Rob has to duck the Bull Hammer. Rolling Thunder connects but Cesaro distracts him from the Five Star, allowing Barrett to get his knees up. Bull Hammer sends Barrett to Extreme Rules at 11:22.

Rating: C-. The match was dull at times but this should set up Cesaro vs. Van Dam to flesh out Sunday’s card a little bit. Barrett is much more interesting in this character and has looked great since Wrestlemania. I can’t imagine Big E. holds the title and that’s the right idea at this point.

Post match Cesaro goes after Van Dam but Swagger lays him out with a gutwrench powerbomb. Van Dam beats up Swagger though and hits the Five Star on Swagger.

We look at Shield destroying people on Smackdown again.

Shield says they’ve passed Evolution by. Rollins holds up his fist and says it’s the new symbol of excellence (the name given to the four fingers of the Horsemen). Reigns says Evolution looks more like the past.

Ambrose has to defend the US Title against Alberto Del Rio, Ryback and Curtis Axel in a handicap match on Smackdown.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton has Batista and HHH with him and comes out to the Evolution theme. Before the match, HHH says Shield is starting to remind him of Evolution. There’s a problem with that though: Evolution is still here and they’ll never be that good. Shield hits the ring….and here’s Ric Flair.

Ric looks bombed and asks if this is St. Louis, Missouri. He’s had a lot of fun in this town but says it’s great to be back in a ring with people who know what this business is all about: dominance. Flair talks about everything coming full circle, including greatness. Tonight he’s surrounded by superstars who exemplify power, style and greatness. By that he means the Shield and shakes all three of their hands. With that he leaves and Evolution is shocked.

We actually get a bell at 11:05 and Reigns hammers away but gets caught by a headbutt and right hands. They head outside and fight over a suplex with Reigns getting the better of it. Orton reverses a whip to send Reigns into the steps before taking it back inside for a chinlock. A hard clothesline puts Reigns on the floor but he fights out of the Elevated DDT.

The running clothesline and a right hand have Orton reeling and Reigns heads to the floor for the apron dropkick. Back in and HHH breaks up the Superman Punch as the brawl is on. The fans are WAY into this as Ambrose is thrown across the anounce table. Back inside and the Superman Punch connects but Reigns goes to the floor to get in on the fight for the DQ at 4:50.

Rating: C. This was a good moment for Reigns as he looked like he was capable of hanging with the guy that was World Champion coming into the main event of Wrestlemania less than a month ago. The match on Sunday is going to be NUTS and it should main event the PPV. I’d love to see a full match between these guys and it’s good to see Reigns getting some solo time.

Post match Evolution destroys Shield with spinebusters and slams. HHH loads up a Pedigree on Ambrose but Rollins makes the save with a springboard knee to the face. HHH is left alone and Reigns lays him out with the spear. Orton and Batista try to break up the Triple Bomb with chairs but get kicked in the face, allowing Shield to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a rollercoaster of a show but the problem was it all had to follow that opening segment. There was just no way they could trump that all night long and it never did. I’m fired up for Sunday and the top three matches all look great on paper. The builds have worked perfectly and I’m looking forward to Sunday. More importantly, things seemed a lot more organic instead of scripted this week and that’s a VERY positive sign for the future.

Results
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neal – Brogue Kick
Cesaro b. Jack Swagger – German suplex
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross armbreaker
Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods via DQ when R-Truth interfered
3MB b. Los Matadores – Elevated DDT to Fernando
Paige vs. Brie Bella went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam – Bull Hammer
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest when Evolution interfered

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This week was the heavy lifting show as we head towards Extreme Rules. We got the big angles taken care of and the World Title match is set with a great push angle on Raw. Other than that it was a lot of big time promos to get us ready for the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

The big segment opened the show as we had Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella celebrating the title win together for one of their few appearances together in the ring. It didn’t last long though as Stephanie and her horrible music interrupted things. This eventually led to Kane coming out and destroying Bryan with three tombstones, including one on the floor, steps and announce table, all while Stephanie’s bad acting reminded us that she was there.

This was the angle that they needed for multiple reasons. First and foremost, it makes Kane look like a monster heading into the title match. No he isn’t going to win of course, but this was the Ivan Drago vs. Apollo Creed moment that Bryan needed for motivation (except it’s Bryan instead of his friend of course). It also plays up Kane as the monster in the mask again which we haven’t seen in awhile now. Third it also lets Bryan get off TV so he can deal with the real life passing of his father, which is what really matters.

One more thing: Stephanie McMahon may look good in a red dress, but DEAR GOODNESS she can be annoying. It wasn’t even in the way it was supposed to be, as Stephanie is supposed to be her telling Kane to tone it down but it came off as her just whining and being condescending. That gets really old in a hurry and took away from the segment, which happens far too often with her.

Barrett beat Sheamus in the tournament in a surprise. That more or less cements Barrett as the tournament winner and I like the idea quite a bit. He’s been on fire since he got back in the ring and has been wiping people out with that Bull Hammer.

Hugh Jackman is guest hosting again next week. I’m cool with that as Jackman actually seems to love being out there which is all you can ask for from one of these things.

The Wyatts continue their creepy promos against Cena. Wyatt absolutely has to win in the cage and I think he’s going to. The thing is I’m not sure where we go after that, but I’m really interested in where it’s going given all those promos.

El Torito vs. Hornswoggle happened. Yeah there were others involved, but that’s the pairing that mattered. I can’t even begin to think of the people we can’t get on Raw, but these guys get their time of course, to hype a movie that has been mentioned I think once. Such is life in WWE.

The Shield vs. Evolution promo was awesome as well with Rollins in particular shining on the mic. It’s reminding me of Cactus vs. HHH to a degree with HHH being backed into a corner and forced to fight against people chomping at the bit to get their hands on him. There really isn’t much to say about this other than I’m far more excited about the match than I was before.

The Rhodes Brothers started their split while we’re getting ready for Ryback/Axel vs. Usos at Extreme Rules. I’m fine with both actually as Cody works better on his own and the magic of Goldust’s return was going to fall apart at some point.

Emma, Layla, Cobras, stupid.

RVD beat Cesaro to advance as well thanks to Jack Swagger. No real shock here as they had to get to this match somehow. The wrestling was better than I expected too. We also got a very nice post match segment where RVD planted some seeds of doubt in Cesaro’s mind regarding Heyman. I have a feeling this will be revisited in the future.

Paige beat Aksana in another not great match. At the end of the day though, I can’t blame Paige for a lot of these issues. We know she can go in the ring, but she’s no miracle worker that can drag a good match out of Aksana. It also doesn’t help that there’s the stigma of her being the best developmental Diva in forever so there’s a big standard to look up to. The finishing move looks awesome though.

Rusev squashed Sin Cara in a match that was more competitive than I was expecting. I kind of like that people are getting in offense on him but he’s just shrugging it off and winning fast. Lana’s legs continue to be mesmerizing.

Cena somehow beat the Wyatts in a 3-1 handicap match as chosen by the fans. I’m not sure why the Wyatts didn’t get the win here but it’s not the biggest problem in the world. The DQ ending made sense but it wasn’t the right choice overall. The post match stuff with Bray hugging an unconscious Cena and singing even more is creepy, but they need to follow up on it.

Overall Raw was entertaining this week but it was all about setting up the future. I’m genuinely curious as to where some of this stuff is going, but at the same time I’m really not sure they can pull off some of the stuff they’re setting up. Bray vs. Cena has potential if they’ll take some chances (no I’m not saying turn Cena) and the Shield rocket push is going strong. There’s hope at the moment but I need to see more before making a real judgment.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 21, 2014
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Things should pick up a bit before Extreme Rules tonight as the roster is back from Saudi Arabia and Daniel Bryan is back from his honeymoon. The interesting question now is what happens with the World Title situation as Evolution vs. Shield is taking over the main event scene and leaving Bryan in the dust. This rings of Chris Benoit back in 2004 but Benoit was nowhere near as over as Bryan is now. It’s going to be a great test either way though. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the champ to open the show and for once, Brie Bellaelson is in the ring for a YES chant. Well she’s certainly a better looking cheerleader than Bryan. They chant together until Stephanie and her horrible song interrupts. Stephanie congratulates Bryan on winning the title at Wrestlemania and getting married in the same week. The newlyweds talk about how amazing and simple their ceremony was but Stephanie has a present for them: a title defense against Kane at Extreme Rules.

Stephanie recommends that Brie get out of the ring because here comes the Big Fried Freak. Or at least his music as there’s no Kane. Bryan slowly backs Brie to the floor and Kane pops up to choke Daniel. Stephanie says that’s enough as Kane stalks Brie. Bryan tries to fight back and sends Kane into the steps but the monster rams him into the barricade.

We actually get a tombstone on the floor and here are EMTs to save Bryan. As usual this is a bad idea with Kane around as he breaks up the stretcher and tombstones Bryan on the steps in a SICK landing. Bryan is put on the stretcher again but Kane picks him up and gives him a third tombstone onto the table which DOESN’T BREAK. Bryan is DONE as we go to a break.

Back from a break and Daniel is being taken out of the ring on a stretcher as Stephanie offers her condolences and holds up the titles. Those replays make things look even more sick.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semi-Finals: Bad News Barrett vs. Sheamus

Barrett does his usual schtick before the match. Sheamus gets pounded into the corner to start but comes back with forearms of his own followed by the rolling fireman’s carry. Some more foreams put Barrett on the floor and Sheamus DIVES off the top with a cross body in a cool looking spot. Back in and Barrett fights out of the ten forearms before kicking
Sheamus off the apron as we take a break.

We come back with the guys still brawling and Sheamus hitting the ten forearms and top rope shoulder for two. Irish Curse gets the same but Barrett grabs the Winds of Change for two of his own. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but Sheamus ducks under and hits White Noise for an even closer near fall. They slug it out and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys down on the floor. Barrett gets back in and Sheamus gives chase, only to charge into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C+. Take two big strong guys and let them beat the tar out of each other for ten minutes at a time. That’s a BIG win for Barrett as well, who is amazingly getting over with a strong character and a good finisher on top of that. Sheamus is going to be fine no matter what happens to him, arguably making him far more valuable than he was as World Heavyweight Champion.

Bo Dallas vignette.

Hugh Jackman is guest hosting Raw next week so we look at him helping Zack Ryder helping beat Dolph Ziggler in September 2011.

Pick Cena’s opponent tonight: Luke Harper, Luke Harper/Erick Rowan, Luke Harper/Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt.

We’ve got Wyatts. Bray says he remembers the first time he was struck with truth. It tasted bitter but he loved the intensity of how real it was. Free will has become man’s biggest illusion. It’s promised to you just in time to take it away again. What has it given you? Nothing but a nation full of sheep led by wolves and owned by pigs. Tonight would be a wonderful night for change though because the power is in the fans’ hands. Tonight free will does exist and John Cena will learn the truth.

The truth is they stand against him, whether it be either of the brothers, in a steel cage, or inside your own mind. At Extreme Rules, two monsters will enter but on this night it will not matter which one has the sharpest teeth or the sharpest claws. One thing will remain the same: they do not love Cena anymore because Bray is taking them with him every single time they cross paths. Bray leads the fans in He’s Got The Whole Worlds In His Hands and tells the brothers to sing. Awesome moment.

Los Matadores/El Torito vs. 3MB

It’s Hornswoggle/Mahal/McIntyre here. McIntyre and Diego get things going but it’s quickly off to the little guys to continue this horribly pointless feud. They slug it out until Torito takes him down with a headscissors followed by a spinning springboard headbutt. Drew breaks up the pin and wants a piece of Torito but it’s Slater taking a gore between the legs for his efforts. Torito gets picked up but kicks Drew low, allowing the masked men to pick him up for a double belly to back suplex plus a seated senton from Torito for the pin at 2:50. For the love of all things good and holy, not at Extreme Rules.

We look back at Evolution beating up Shield last week.

Evolution arrives.

Here’s Evolution with something to say. HHH can barely talk due to what sounds like a bad sore throat so it’s quickly off to Orton to brag about how awesome Evolution is. We get a video on Evolution with a few shots of Flair thrown in for history’s sake. Batista brags about the number of titles the three of them have and says Shield has nothing to brag about. Cue the Hounds of Justice but Evolution immediately bails.

Ambrose says that they’ve lost fights before and they’re not humbled this week. He says there’s a reason HHH hired them to protect HHH and Orton. They are the meanest, nastiest, dirtiest animals in this industry. These dogs are hungry and ready to fight. Rollins says they have every right to be angry after what happened when Evolution had twelve other guys around them. In two weeks at Extreme Rules it’s Evolution vs. the Hounds of Justice in an all out war.

Then there’s nowhere for them to run and all three members of Evolution is going to be looking out for themselves. At Extreme Rules, Evolution is ripped to pieces and the reunion comes to an abrupt halt. HHH put a nail in his own coffin and the Shield is the hammer that drives it home.

Reigns says last week Evolution gave them an ultimatum. This week they have one for Evolution. In a few seconds he’s dropping this mic and coming up the stage for a fight. Evolution can try to fight like men, or they can cower away and hide. Here comes the Shield and here’s the midcard to stand in front of Evolution. HHH says it’s option three: adapt or perish.

We look at the opening segment again.

New Adam Rose vignette.

Network plug.

Usos vs. Rhodes Brothers

Non-title with Ryback/Axel on commentary. Jey and Goldust get things going with a feeling out process and the golden one getting taken down. Off to Cody tho gets taken down as well while Ryback tells a story about his dad tending bar for Curt Hennig and Razor Ramon back in the AWA days. Totally random but interesting.

Back to Goldust who takes over on the arm and rams it into the mat for some control. Ryback talks about how he’s been watching Goldust for nineteen years now which is a totally fair argument against him. In a very sudden ending, a superkick takes down Goldust and another is good for the pin on Cody at 3:10.

Rating: D+. This was much more of a story than a match and it looks like the Rhodes Brothers are wrapping up as a team now. To be fair it’s not like they’ve done anything in a few months now so they might as well be split up with the division actually having some depth now. Ryback was interesting on commentary to say the least.

Cody and Goldust shove each other post match and here comes the split. Ryback/Axel jump the Usos as well.

Emma vs. Layla

A distraction from the guys lets Layla take over quickly and she stomps Emma down in the corner. Layla cranks on both of Emma’s arms and mocks the dance a bit as Fandango leads cheers. Emma takes Layla down as Santino lays out Fandango with the Cobra. Emma pulls out a cobra of her own and layls out Layla for the pin at 2:20. Again, NO MORE OF THIS.

The cobras want each other post match.

The announcers talk about Legends House.

John Cena says it’s up to the WWE Universe tonight. We get the dueling chants and he thinks Bray might have everyone in his hands.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contender Tournament Semi-Finals: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

Before the match we see Heyman talking about his clients and going on about Lesnar conquering the Streak. We take a break and come back with him still ranting about it until RVD’s music cuts him off. Feeling out process to start with Van Dam’s kicks being caught into a big slam for two as the announcers debate how great a manager Heyman really is. A middle rope kick to the face drops Cesaro but he comes back with a nice suplex for two. Rob misses a charge into the post and Cesaro kicks him even further into the post as we take another break.

Back with Van Dam’s sunset flip being countered by a jumping stomp to the chest for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Rob comes back and kicks Cesaro in the head to escape. A hard clothesline and kick to the face set up Rolling Thunder for two. The Five Star is broken up by a STIFF uppercut but another kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault from Rob for another near fall. Yet another spinning kick misses and Cesaro hits a running uppercut to the back of the head and rolls Rob to the mat.

They slug it out and a rolling cradle gets two for Van Dam, only to have Cesaro nail a tiger bomb for an even closer two. Cesaro loads up the Swing but here are Swagger and Colter for a distraction. Van Dam gets in another kick to send Cesaro outside and Swagger comes for a closer look. Rob tries to dive at them but jumps into a sweet uppercut to the jaw from Cesaro. Rob is thrown back inside as Swagger posts Cesaro, allowing for the countout to send RVD to the finals at 13:19.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here with the styles working together perfectly here. The ending was somewhat predictable as you already had Barrett waiting in the finals for the winner. At least the match was good getting there and Barrett should be a lock to win next week. Good match here and far better than I was expecting.

Post match Cesaro goes to swing Colter but has to settle for Swagger instead.

We look at Bryan getting destroyed again.

Cesaro and Heyman come up to RVD in the back and say Colter and Swagger won that match for Van Dam. Rob suggests Cesaro stay as far away from Heyman as possible.

Paige vs. Aksana

Non-title again. The announcers immediately start hyping up Tamina as a tough Diva as Paige throws Aksana across the ring by the hair a few times. Aksana comes back with some choking and throws Paige down as the announcers make fun of Aksana’s very notable tan. She crawls around on the mat but Paige slams her into the mat over and over again to take over. A series of clotheslines has Aksana in trouble but she comes back with a throw, apparently supposed to be a spinebuster. Paige comes back with a guillotine choke and some knees to the head, setting up the Scorpion Cross Lock for the submission at 4:42.

Rating: D+. I’m feeling sorry for Paige as they keep putting her in there with this chick. Aksana is gorgeous and looks great with the dark hair, but at the end of the day she just can’t do it in the ring. The crawling around stuff looks stupid and the whole thing isn’t working at all. Therefore, let’s use HER to get Paige over because that’s playing to Paige’s strengths right?

Alexander Rusev vs. Sin Cara

Truth/Woods vs. Rusev at the PPV which should cement the ending here. Cara fires off his chops but gets caught in mid air, setting up the knees against the ropes and fall away slam to the masked man. Some jumping knees in the corner drop Sin Cara as Lana is very pleased. Sin Cara actually gets two off a sunset flip and staggers the Bulgarian with a Tajiri elbow. A kick to the head and missile dropkick put Rusev in the corner but Alexander just runs him over. An overhead suplex drops Sin Cara and the Accolade gets the submission at 2:59.

The 3-1 handicap match wins the poll with 53%. Harper on his own got a very surprising 39% with the 2-1 getting less than 10%.

John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

The Wyatts surround the ring to start before all three charge the ring at the same time. Cena is down so Bray calls them off as the bell rings. Harper gets us going and drives elbows into the back of Cena’s head to keep control. Off to Rowan who whips Cena into the corner but gets caught in a fallaway slam and it’s off to Bray. The leader of the Family dances with Cena for a bit before screaming loudly.

Back to Harper who gets caught by a Stinger Splash but runs John over with a hard elbow to the jaw. Cena muscles Harper over with a German suplex but Luke tags Rowan back in for more stomping. Harper quickly gets another tag but is almost caught in an STF. Rowan makes a fast save and Harper stays in to send Cena hard into the steps. Bray looks down and we take a break.

We come back to see Cena missing a cross body and falling out to the floor. John comes back in and runs over Harper but Bray easily counters a tornado DDT by PLANTING him with a release Rock Bottom. He hammers away and sends Cena shoulder first into the post. A headbutt rams Cena’s head into the steel again before Rowan comes back in to crush Cena’s skull a bit more.

John fights back but it’s back to Bray who loads up the spider walk. Thankfully Cena realizes how easy this is and runs him over with a clothesline to start his comeback. Cena starts his finishing sequence and hits the AA on Bray, only to have the Family come in for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: C. The match was going fine ubt you knew there was no way this was having a clean finish. I’m not sure why you don’t have Cena take the loss here as it’s not like losing a handicap match here is a big deal. Bray needs to get the big win over Cena and hopefully that comes at Extreme Rules. Not bad but I don’t like the ending.

Post match the Wyatts beat Cena down and Bray hits Sister Abigail. He says in time, all things come to light before singing a bit more with his hand on Cena’s face to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Some stuff got done tonight but the main event has more problems caused by real life. Daniel Bryan being written off TV again to deal with the sudden passing of his father (legitimate story and certainly worth missing some time) hurts things as he’s starting to lose some of the awesome heat he put together with Wrestlemania. That being said, the Shield vs. Evolution match is looking AWESOME and everything is going well there. The midcard scene was solid tonight as well so we’ll go with a good show that has some worrying issues.

Results
Bad News Barrett b. Sheamus – Bull Hammer
Los Matadores/El Torito b. 3MB – Double belly to back suplex/Top rope seated senton to McIntyre
Usos b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Superkick to Rhodes
Emma b. Layla – Cobra
Rob Van Dam b. Cesaro via countout
Alexander Rusev b. Sin Cara – Accolade
Paige b. Aksana – Scorpion Cross Lock
John Cena b. Wyatt Family via DQ when all three members were in the ring at the same time

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This is a good sign for WWE.As I’m sure you know, Evolution (or at least most of it) reformed on Monday.  I actually don’t have an issue with this for one reason: it makes sense in the story.  I can’t count how often I’ve heard people say *insert stable here* should reform for no reason other than there are four or so people with nothing to do.  That’s not going to work and it’s the same problem with turning people for no good reason.  This team makes sense and fits the story as well as serving a purpose.  That’s a good thing and hopefully it works here, which it should.

Raw on Monday was a hybrid between the Ultimate Warrior tribute show which can make for some less interesting shows. We also got the first round of a tournament to find a new #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title. The problem is Daniel Bryan is on his honeymoon so there’s not a lot that can happen. Let’s get to it.

First up was the Ultimate Warrior tribute which worked better than I expected. The video worked very well, the roster on the stage in Warrior shirts and fans with Warrior masks looked great and the ten bell salute was its usual tear jerking moment. There really isn’t much to complain about here because they did everything the way it was supposed to be done.

RVD advanced by beating Del Rio. There’s not much to say here, much like with almost all Del Rio matches anymore. He did his arm stuff and the other guy did the rest. It’s a pattern he’s fallen into and it’s not working for me much anymore. That’s why I liked his face push so much last year. He’s a talented guy and it allowed him to show off a lot of those skills that we don’t often get to see now that his moveset is getting rather short. Note that there’s a difference between limited moveset and being lazy. Del Rio’s offense makes a lot of sense for what he does but he doesn’t go that far beyond.

We got some classic Warrior moments throughout the night including Summerslam 1988 vs. Honky Tonk Man, Wrestlemania VI against Hogan and Summerslam 1990 against Rick Rude. I understand that you can’t show full fifteen to twenty minute matches on Raw, but I was surprised they showed a clip of the FORTY FIVE SECOND Summerslam 1988 match. Seriously, from bell to bell it’s less than a minute and from Honky Tonk Man’s music hitting to Warrior leaving is less than five minutes. You really need to clip something in there?

Ryback/Axel beat the Rhodes Brothers. This is a good example of the problem with the division: the match was ok at best but Ryback and Axel are “on a roll” after winning a grand total of two straight matches. Before then, their last win as a team was over two months ago. It’s REALLY hard to buy them as a hot team when they’re like 4-16 this year. It also doesn’t help that we’ve seen every team against every team so many times now that there’s almost nothing new to see. Have some longer feuds, but give them a story to help us carry them along. Why is this so hard?

Paige squashed Alicia Fox. That Scorpion Cross Lock looks AWESOME and is a great compliment to the Paige Turner. This was a much better performance from her this week.

We got a rematch from last week with the Usos vs. Randy Orton/Batista. The Usos got beaten up again but thankfully they didn’t get pinned or give up. I can live with the champions getting beaten down and the Shield running in for the DQ because there was a chance the Usos could have made a comeback if they were given the chance. Not having champions job clean is all I ask. Having them lose like this doesn’t really hurt anyone though so no real issue here.

Cesaro advanced by Neutralizing Henry. There’s nothing here we haven’t seen a bunch of times but it’s still cool looking.

Rusev squashed Xavier Woods and set up a future match against R-Truth. I didn’t really see the match as it was less than a minute long and I was looking at Lana.

Sheamus advanced over Jack Swagger in a match that is showing the problem with most Sheamus matches. He was in trouble for most of the match but just popped up with a Brogue Kick for the win. I like the guy, but he’s in need of some adjustments in his character. For one thing, it’s ok to have him lose on occasion as it would make him seem more human. On top of that, GIVE HIM A STORY ALREADY!

Big Show knocked out Sandow in a segment that wasn’t even a match. I’m not sure what the point here was but if it’s to push Sandow, they’re going about it in their typically stupid and highly backwards way.

Now we get to the stupid part of the show, as the Wyatts had another good promo about bringing the monster out of John Cena and John responded by showing pictures of the Wyatts dressed as women. This is an old standard “comedy” bit for WWE and it just isn’t funny. It’s not witty, it’s not intelligent, it doesn’t make a point about anything. It’s something a 15 year old can do with an old version of Photoshop and think it’s the funniest thing EVER but instead we’re getting it from the top star in a multi-million dollar company in prime time television.

This is a good example of what scripted promos can do. The Raw script leaked and Cena’s promo was mostly written out in advance. As you can see, there’s a major problem with the WWE’s writing staff: they’re not very funny. Guys like Santino are funny and he’s allowed to do some funny stuff at times. While I’m not a Santino fan at all, at least he mixes things up on occasion.

The writers have a few standard bits they go to when they want to be funny and they just don’t work most of the time. This wasn’t one of them and you would be much better off letting Cena do his own thing out there, as he’s proven he can more than handle a microphone. Oh yeah and Cena vs. Bray in a cage at Extreme Rules. That could be fun.

Speaking of Santino, he and Emma lost a mixed tag to Fandango and Layla. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to care about this feud at all, nor why you would spend a few weeks building Emma up and then have her lose in 80 seconds here.

Stephanie got Kane to put the mask back on for revenge on Daniel Bryan. At first I thought this was stupid but the more I think about it the more I think it could work. It’s very much like Foley becoming Cactus Jack for the violent feuds and that worked well enough to go its job.

Dolph Ziggler lost to Bad News Barrett in the final match. I’m digging the Barrett push, but they’ll need to put him over Sheamus, which would likely set up Barrett vs. Cesaro in the finals and that’s just not happening. In other words, they’re shooting themselves in the foot with this booking again.

The main event was Shield vs. eleven heels which didn’t last long as a brawl broke out and Evolution reunited for a big beatdown of Shield to end the show. See, now THIS is how you bring a stable back. There’s a logical reason for this group to come together again and it’s going to be used to give Shield a big rub. Far bigger than they got from the Outlaws at least.

Raw on Monday really didn’t do it for me. It felt like a totally skippable show which oddly enough didn’t feel like much of a tribute. It was more like “Warrior died and we’re all genuinely sad but we really don’t have time to stop and wait for anything so on with the show!” I can understand that, but would airing a few more people talking about him have hurt? I mean, I know it would have meant no Santino vs. Fandango Part 73 but I think we can all live with a break from that feud.

The wrestling was pretty lame as well with no match being entertaining beyond just a basic level. Evolution is a nice idea but the tournament had the same problems every tournament has: I don’t need to watch anything until the final, because the first matches were nothing we hadn’t seen before. But hey, tournaments rock right?

Finally, it was a good example of why the booking just doesn’t work a lot of the time. Yeah I know it’s Extreme Rules so it’s time for rematches, but Cena vs. Wyatt worked so well the first time because Cena didn’t go for the “comedy”. Now we’ve got pictures of the Wyatts as old women and it’s neither funny nor advancing anything at all. It’s hard to take the feud seriously when Cena has gone from nearly bashing Bray’s head in with a chair to this in eight days. Again, that’s mainly on the writers though, as they have no idea how to do a long form story.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 14, 2014
Location: BJCC Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is going to be an interesting episode as it’s a tribute show to the Ultimate Warrior. However there’s going to be some regular stuff too, including the start of a tournament for the #1 contendership to the Intercontinental Title. In a way that’s good as I’m not sure there’s enough Warrior stuff to fill in three hours. Also given how good things are going for the WWE, it’s nice to see things continue. Let’s get to it.

We open with the roster on the stage and an In Memory graphic on the screen. Most of the people are in Warrior shirts.

First up is a music video set to a song called Catch A Falling Star. We get a highlight video of Warrior with various people, including HHH, Hogan and Stephanie, talking about how awesome he was. It also shows some shots of his Hall of Fame speech and shots of him with his daughters. There are also shots of his speech last week.

Ten bell salute.

The fans have been given Warrior masks. Nice touch. HHH starts a Warrior chant.

Here are the tournament brackets.

Mark Henry

Cesaro

Rob Van Dam

Alberto Del Rio

Sheamus

Jack Swagger

Dolph Ziggler

Bad News Barrett

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Van Dam starts with some kicks to the face and a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. A clothesline puts Alberto on the floor but he comes back in and kicks Rob down to take over. Alberto gets two off a suplex but is sent outside as we take an early break. Back with Del Rio in control and getting two each off a DDT and Backstabber.

Van Dam scores with a kick but gets caught by the enziguri off the top rope for two, frustrating the former aristocrat. Back in and the armbreaker is countered into a rolling cradle for two and Van Dam pulls Del Rio off the top, sending him head first into the buckle. The Five Star sends RVD to the semi-finals at 10:15.

Rating: D+. This really didn’t do much for me as the offense was WAY off with the kicks and punches missing left and right. On top of that a good chunck of the match was spent in the commercial so we only got about two thirds of the thing. RVD is good in the ring but he should be putting over young guys, which to be fair he might do by the end of this.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Shield officially turning face by attacking HHH, Orton and Batista.

HHH, Batista, Orton and Stephanie shake hands and have a meeting we can’t hear in the back.

We look back at a classic Warrior match. From Summerslam 1988 with Warrior winning the Intercontinental Title. Amazingly enough, it’s a thirty five second match and they show a package on it instead of the whole match.

HHH tells Orton and Batista they need to be united. They both want to be champion though, and say HHH is on his own.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Goldust starts with Axel and we’re already on the arm work. The Brothers take turns on Curtis’ arm and Goldust gets two off a knee to the chest. Goldust is taken into the corner for the tag to Ryback and the heel beating begins. A middle rope splash from Ryback and middle rope elbow from Axel combine for two.

Off to a chinlock from Ryback for a few moments until Goldust fights up and makes the tag off to his brother. The moonsault press mostly misses and almost looked like Ryback slammed him down instead. Cody dives off the top to take Ryback down again and a springboard missile dropkick gets two. Everything breaks down and Ryback is able to clothesline the heck out of Cody for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like this for the most part either but the right team won. Ryback REALLY needs to get away from Axel though as Curtis is just dragging him down every time they’re on screen together. Also, can we get a banning on just combining wrestler names to make a team? Be creative, like with Rhodes Scholars. That was at least thinking.

Legends House ad.

Bo Dallas is coming.

We look back at Paige winning the Divas Title last week.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Non-title. Paige easily takes her down to start and sends Fox out to the floor. Back in and Fox shoves the new champion around with ease, only to get chopped HARD out of the corner. A northern lights suplex with a great looking bridge gets two for Fox. Paige comes back with some clotheslines and a running kick, setting up the Scorpion Crosslock for the win at 3:29.

Rating: C-. Paige looked WAY better this week which is probably due to a lack of nerves. To be fair though, last week was only one really bad looking move. Paige is going to be something special though as she’s being given the time to get over with the audience. That finisher is going to help a lot as well.

Usos vs. Batista/Randy Orton

Non-title and the Usos are in Ultimate Warrior themed paint. The Usos quickly send them to the floor for some big dives and the Ultimate Warrior rope shake makes the fans happy. Things start properly with Orton hammering Jey into the corner and the backbreaker keeps him in trouble. Off to Batista who grabs a quick suplex for two before it’s back to Orton. A spinebuster gets the same and they head outside with Orton ramming Jey into the announce table, only to have Shield run in and massacre Randy for the DQ at 4:08.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the Usos not losing clean is a good thing. Yeah they were in trouble but they didn’t get pinned and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. Shield going on offense is interesting as well and the match at Extreme Rules should be awesome.

Batista takes the Superman Punch to send him running.

Another Warrior Moment: winning the WWF Title from Hulk Hogan. I’d have thought they would air that match.

HHH glares at Orton and Batista after a break. Nothing is said.

Paul Heyman says he represents the man that conquered the Streak. If you think he’s going to drive that in until the end of time, it’s because he is. Heyman says it about six times in a row and shows us some photos of Undertaker walking away and of Brock destroying him last Sunday. Here’s the new next big thing: Cesaro.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Cesaro vs. Mark Henry

They lock up to start and Cesaro climbs up the ropes to shove off but still gets thrown to the mat and then to the floor. Heyman says go to plan two so Cesaro fires off uppercuts in the corner. A big running one sets up rights and lefts to the ribs but Henry keeps shoving him away. There’s a clothesline for two but Henry can barely stand up. The World’s Strongest Slam doesn’t work and a middle rope uppercut puts Henry down. Cesaro acutally Neutralizes him for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. At the end of the day, there’s very little more awesome than a strong man lifting up someone very heavy and throwing them around with ease. That’s the kind of stuff you can put on a highlight reel for years and it’s still going to look cool. I’m wondering when the King of Swing will swing people though.

The Thank You video from last week airs.

The Authority sends Brad Maddox to put Shield in the main event but won’t say who their opponents are.

Alexander Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

Woods has been beaten up by Rusev in NXT for awhile. Kick to the chest, spinning slam, Accolade and submission in 47 seconds.

R-Truth tries to make the save post match and gets laid out.

Another Warrior Moment is the main event of Summerslam 1990 with Warrior defending the title inside a cage.

We get a clip of a special on Daniel Bryan’s journey to Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Jack takes him into the corner for some knees to the ribs but gets kicked in the face and dropped with a clothesline. A Colter distraction breaks up the ten forearms to the chest and Swagger catches Sheamus in a powerslam coming off the apron. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two on Sheamus but he comes back with a forearm to the head.

Some running knees and a kick to the back put Swagger down and a knee drop gets two. There are the ten forearms and a top rope shoulder for two. Sheamus misses a slingshot shoulder and gets caught in the Patriot Lock but Jack is quickly kicked away. A shoulder puts Sheamus on the floor and Jack rams the bad leg into the steps. Back in and a Brogue Kick out of nowhere is good for the pin at 6:54. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C. Not a great match again but it did well enough. Sheamus going down into the midcard title scene is a good idea as he’s not big enough to compete for the World Title but he’s too big to beat up jokes anymore. The Intercontinental Title is a great spot in the middle there and he can bring some value to it.

Adam Rose vignette.

Clips from Warrior’s Hall of Fame speech as an advertisement for a four part special on the WWE Network this week.

Damien Sandow is talking but Big Show’s music cuts him off. He rants more anyway and says he won’t be silenced and keeps ranting about how Big Show is only popular because he shakes hands. Everyone should be trying to touch Sandow as he comes to the ring because he deserves it. Show just looks on from the corner until Sandow goes over to him. Big Show doesn’t have anything to say but Sandow says Show knows Sandow is the future of WWE. WMD and we’re done. No match even though there was a referee there.

The Wyatts pop up and Harper is whistling again. They’re next.

Here’s the Family with Bray saying the man wants one thing, but he’s different. The people see a blank canvas but he sees a beautiful painting. He’s been called the seducer, the accuser or the destroyer but know that he’s never once lied to us. John Cena has made a career out of lying to us all though and Bray won’t let that happen anymore. Right now though he wants the monster to come out and play.

Here’s John to do just that but right now he doesn’t need to do anything but have fun. Cena wants to know why so serious. Bray tried to bring the monster out at Wrestlemania but the monster doesn’t exist. Cena looks at the Wyatts and thinks there’s fun waiting inside of them. Harper is the kind of guy that would go streaking through the quad and Rowan must be full of jokes. Wyatt must be the king though because only a real man wears white pants. We need to get them to a happy hour and it’s Roll Tide.

Cena wants to know about the Family though because he’s not sure if Sister Abigail is real or not. He’s found the picture on MySpace and it’s time for pictures of the Wyatts on other bodies. Each guy gets one until Bray cuts him off and says this is typical Cena: a serious threat comes up and he makes jokes.

Cena says Bray knows what happens when he gets serious because it got Bray beaten at Wrestlemania. Wyatt must know that he’s on the defensive now so Cena wants a rematch at Extreme Rules inside a cage. Wyatt loves the idea because one of them is going to get stabbed as they throw knives. Bray sings a bit and I think accepts.

Santino Marella/Emma vs. Fandango/Layla

The guys trade wristlocks to start but the girls come in when Santino loads up the Cobra. Emma gets the Dilemma on Layla but gets slammed off the top for the pin at 1:20.

Stephanie goes off on Kane for messing things up over the last few weeks. He couldn’t stop Shield or Daniel Bryan, so what has happened to Kane? Instead of a monster he’s a screwup so what happened? Kane gets angry and looks at his mask in a case. The case is taken away and Kane holds up the mask.

Bo Dallas is coming.

We see Warrior’s speech from last week.

Adam Rose vignette involving a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. Seriously.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Barrett pounds Dolph down to start and sends him into the buckle a few times. A snap suplex gets two but he misses a knee drop to give Dolph control again. Barrett tries to get Dolph in the ropes but Ziggler comes back with right hands and a nice dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Dolph is posted as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler fighting out of a chinlock and sending Barrett’s shoulder into the post. A cross body sets up some right hands to the head followed by even more in the corner. Ziggler gets caught in Wasteland for two but comes back with a quick Fameasser for the same. Dolph misses a charge into the corner but is still able to run the ropes for the X-Factor. The Zig Zag is countered into Winds of Change but a quick Bull Hammer is enough to send Barrett on at 11:33.

Rating: C-. Just a match for the most part here which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world most of the time. Barrett winning is the right move as well as Ziggler doesn’t really need the wins whereas Barrett hasn’t won anything in years. He doesn’t stand a chance against Sheamus but it’s nice while it lasts.

Barrett says the Bad News is he’s winning the Intercontinental Title.

Kane puts the mask on again.

Shield vs. Alberto Del Rio/3MB/Ryback/Curtis Axel/Jack Swagger/Fandango/Bad News Barrett/Titus O’Neil/Alexander Rusev

Slater gets drawn into the ring osnce and Reigns stomps away before it’s off to Rollins for a quick enziguri. The heels start using the numbers advantage though as Rollins gets attacked by almost everyone on the team. Ryback slams Rollins down and follows him the floor, only to have Reigns nail the spear. The brig brawl breaks out and it’s a no contest at 3:15.

Rating: D+. This was barely a match at all but the idea of having everyone out there worked well enough. I’m glad they didn’t have Shield get a win here as there comes a point where it’s too far. The important thing here is the post match stuff of course so we’ll cut this short to get to that.

The beatdown ensues post match until Evolution’s old music hits. Orton, HHH and Batista hit the arena and you can see bad things coming. HHH instructs everyone else to get out of the ring and the real beatdown is on. RKOs, Batista Bombs and Pedigrees take us out as Daniel Bryan is on his honeymoon and won’t be making a save.

Overall Rating: C-. Tonight was about telling stories but the wrestling they used to tell those stories was pretty lame. The tournament is a nice idea but at the end of the day you could skip the whole thing and wait for Extreme Rules for the payoff. Evolution reforming is a good thing as they’ll be used to put others over and thankfully there’s no Flair there to mess with it this time. The show wasn’t horrible but it really didn’t do anything for me.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Five Star Frog Splash

Ryback/Curtis Axel b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Meat Hook to Rhodes

Paige b. Alicia Fox – Scorpion Crosslock

Randy Orton/Batista b. Usos via DQ when Shield interfered

Cesaro b. Mark Henry – Neutralizer

Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods – Accolade

Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick

Fandango/Layla b. Santino Marella/Emma – Slam off the top to Emma

Shield vs. Alberto Del Rio/3MB/Ryback/Curtis Axel/Jack Swagger/Fandango/Bad News Barrett/Titus O’Neil/Alexander Rusev went to a no contest

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can understand asking for a 2002 Raw, but 2003? Why would you want to subject yourself to that? I don’t get wrestling fans sometimes. Anyway, this is the go home show for Unforgiven which had a main event of……Goldberg vs. HHH I believe? A check of that would say I’m right, as well as saying that I need to get a life. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and HHH are in the back and there’s going to be a going away party for Goldberg tonight because HHH is going to destroy him on Sunday.

Theme song. Across the Nation was as good a theme as they’ve ever had.

As the show opens, Jericho and Christian are in the ring with signs demanding that Stone Cold must go. This is an official protest you see. Jericho does the talking and says that Austin is a menace and a horrible GM. Christian says Austin is a joke because he’s keeping Christian off PPVs. They try to start a Stone Cole Must Go chant and here’s Austin. Austin talks about how Jericho slapped him on the back and eventually hurt his feelings. The idea here is that Austin cannot attack anyone unless provoked and he really wants to beat someone up.

Austin says that Christian will be defending on Sunday (that takes about 30 seconds) but doesn’t name an opponent. Instead he’s interested in getting someone to provoke him but as he pulls his fist back, he tells Christian to do it instead. Jericho gets in Austin’s face again and wants the shot at Christian on Sunday. Austin says ok but Jericho has to win the following match first.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Back in and Jericho puts on a chinlock as the fans chant for RVD. Rob fights up and hits a spinwheel kick and that stepover kick of his followed by Rolling Thunder. A flying kick off the top gets two but Jericho rolls through a monkey flip. The Walls don’t work so Jericho hits a sleeper drop for two. Rob tries a springboard kick but the referee gets kicked in the face. Well of course he does. The Lionsault and Five Star both hit knees so Christian comes in and hits both of them with the title so it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho was really needing to get the to the Trish storyline to get a recharge at this point. Christian would stay at about this level for awhile until he left for TNA for a few years. Van Dam is Van Dam and that’s about all there is to him. The match itself wasn’t bad but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do way better at other times.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Coach and Al Snow suck up to Bischoff but he blows them off as some chick from Tough Enough gives him a note saying there are two women here. I have a bad feeling about this. Regarding Snow and Coach, see they’re the Heat commentators and want to be the Raw commentators so there’s a tag match between the two of them and JR/King on Sunday for the Raw commentary job. Somehow WWE isn’t sure why no one liked 2003.

The two women are of course Moolah and Mae. We’re in South Carolina so you knew this was coming. Moolah wants a match for her 80^th birthday. Austin pops in and says do it and tells Eric to kiss Moolah for luck. Mae Young is there, so you should know what comes next.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Post match Victoria beats both of them up but Randy Orton comes out to save for some reason. Then he realizes they’re legends and RKO’s Moolah.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

This is when Storm was “just having fun” and would come to the ring dancing to hip hop music. Whoever asked me to review this show, I’d advise you to NOT REQUEST ANOTHER ONE LIKE THIS. Teddy Long manages the team you would expect him to manage, which may or may not be called Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises. Storm and Mack start things off and the fans chant boring, which is the idea behind Storm’s new character. See, Austin told him he was boring and to get a personality.

Storm takes Mack down but Henry hits him in the back of the head to take over. A splash crushed Storm and it’s off to Goldust who almost immediately gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. This actually broke 1:50, so we’re getting closer to a match that’s actually long enough to rate (even the first match barely was as a lot of that was in a lot of that was in a commercial). This would be Goldust’s last match on Raw for about three years.

Evolution (minus Batista who is recovering from injury) is in the back planning for the party for Goldberg later. Orton has to take care of something and runs into Shawn who he faces Sunday. Orton says Shawn made his career out of being a stepping stone and Sunday, he’s going to use Shawn as a stepping stone. Shawn slaps Randy in the face and says Orton better step hard.

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Here are Kane and Shane McMahon to sign the contract for their last man standing match on Sunday. Shane says he’s taking Kane down on Sunday and signs. There goes the table and the fight is on. Shane hits Kane low several times and gets in a pair of chair shots. With Kane down, Shane pulls the cover off an announce table at ringside that is apparently only here for this segment (JR and King broadcast from up by the stage at this point). Shane puts Kane on the table and hits the big elbow to drive Kane through it.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

No Holds Barred just because. Trish hits a quick double neckbreaker to start and gets down to one on one with Molly. You know, because they have to tag in a no holds barred match. I will say this: Molly is really good looking with black hair. Trish kicks Molly in the face and hits the Stratusphere before it’s off to Gail. Kim takes over with a clothesline and a middle rope legdrop for two. Some heel double teaming allows for a Molly handspring elbow for two. Apparently Molly is Women’s Champion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Trish rops Molly while trying a spinebuster. The villains double team Trish and the Molly Go Round pins her.

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Post match the beating continues and a chair is grabbed, but here’s the returning Lita to make the save. She’s been gone over a year due to a neck injury. If nothing else she looks great in a black bra and tiny shorts.

Post match Gail and Molly are in the back with Eric. Eric says he fired Lita but Austin comes in and says he rehired her. There’s a tag match for Sunday. Gail: “I slept with the wrong general manager.”

Here are Coach and Snow dressed as JR and King respectively. They go to the broken announce table as they’re going to give us a preview of what Raw is like next week. Yeah, THIS is one of the top matches at Unforgiven.

Test vs. Val Venis

Test has Stacy with him as his reluctant love slave or something like that. Test makes Stacy sit down in a chair after hitting Val a few times. Val escapes the pumphandle slam and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Val loads up the Money Shot but Test kicks the referee into the ropes. There’s the Pumphandle Slam but Stacy pulls Test to the floor. Scott Steiner, Stacy’s alleged savior, comes out to distract Test and Stacy crotches her client on the ropes. Val hits a full nelson slam for the surprise pin. Coach and Snow were very annoying on commentary here. Steiner would turn heel and use Stacy just like Test was soon.

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Here’s HHH for the farewell. He asks the crowd for a Goldberg chant but they’re not interested. We get music and confetti and balloons because this needs to get stupider. HHH says there are no such things as dynasties in wrestling but he’s the one constant. Apparently the one constant isn’t the mic as it goes out yet we can still hear it on TV. With a new mic, HHH shows off a portrait of Goldberg being bloodied by Evolution. This is going nowhere by the way. Now we get VIDEO of the beating! Goldberg finally pops up on screen and says he’ll win the title before coming out and gorilla pressing HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 3, 2003
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re three weeks away from No Way Out and most of the card is pretty clear on the Raw side. The main event will be determined tonight as we have Jericho vs. Steiner for a shot at HHH’s title. Yeah I don’t know who’s going to win either. Other than that we have the official start of something pretty famous tonight which we’ll get to soon enough. Let’s get to it.

Also on a personal note, this was my 15^th birthday.

We open with Bischoff on the phone with Chief Morely and talking about signing Austin back to Raw. This is in Spanish due to WWE screwing things up. Morely can’t hear him at the arena. Bischoff is in San Antonio, Texas to find Austin.

Theme song.

We’re in English so King and JR can intro the show.

Here are Stacy Keibler and Test to open things up with Stacy returning after being hit in the face by a Jericho chair shot two weeks ago. Stacy says she’s trying to put the incident behind her because she needed to be more careful. However, she does want Jericho to apologize so Test calls Chris out to do so. Jericho comes out and says he has more important things to worry about, like going to Wrestlemania as the world champion.

He’s gotten over hitting Stacy in the face and suggests that Test be a big boy and get over it. Test says Jericho has five seconds to apologize and gets ready to go after him, but Christian jumps Test from behind, knocking Stacy down in the process. Test gets up and beats Christian down….and is booed for hugging Stacy. Yeah he’s a jerk but he did the exactly right thing here. Why boo him?

Kane goes into Chief Morely’s office and finds….RVD? Apparently Morely asked both of them to be here and Van Dam plans on asking for a rematch with Batista/HHH. First though, he wants to know why Kane bailed last week. It was because the mask was taken off but that’s not good enough for Rob. “What are you, Spider-Man?” They’re about to brawl when Morely arrives and makes a one on one match between the two of them later tonight.

Test sends Stacy back to the hotel and promises that this isn’t over yet.

Dudley Boyz vs. 3 Minute Warning

Chief Morely (in charge tonight if that wasn’t clear) assigns Rico as guest referee tonight. It’s a big brawl to start with the Samoans taking over but the 400lb Rosey misses a split legged moonsault. Jamal gets caught in a Doomsday Device but Rico counts very slowly. The Dudleys load up a 3D on Rosey but Jamal rolls up Bubba for a fast counted pin.

Spike Dudley comes out and sets up a table, allowing Bubba to powerbomb Rico through the wood.

Bischoff is lost in San Antonio. That’s better than being Lost in Cleveland.

Tommy Dreamer vs. ???

No opponent as HHH, Batista, Orton and Flair hit the ring instead of presumably Hennigan or Cappotelli. HHH has a bad leg due to the Steiner attack last week so Orton and Batista take Dreamer down with ease. After a horrible beating to Dreamer, HHH says this is the greatest evolution of talent you’ll ever see. Flair is the greatest of all time, HHH is the greatest today, and Orton and Batista will be the greatest one day. HHH says that he’s everything Ric Flair is (more like Harley Race) and every woman wants to be with him. On top of that you take his mind and you have the best in the world.

HHH says he’s the only diamond in this business but you have to look to the future. That brings him to Batista who is a monster of unbridled destruction. Then you have Randy Orton who has the business in his blood. HHH says Orton will be a diamond one day which is a nice metaphor. He also drops the name Evolution about five times as the official new name of the team, starting a path of destruction for the next year and a half.

Scott Steiner looks at some footage of the then unnamed Evolution attacking Steiner and then being beaten down again last week. As for tonight, he’s taking care of business with his biceps.

Evolution is in a sky box.

Bischoff goes to Austin’s house but is told Austin is at a bar by a man named Buford.

Clip from last week of Jazz returning and destroying Trish.

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Non-title. There’s a large clock in the corner counting down to Bischoff’s time to fix Raw being up. Molly takes it to the mat for a quick one count before cranking on the arm a bit. Molly spins out of a snapmare before armdragging Victoria down a few times. A spinning side slam gets two on Molly before Victoria spins her down to the mat by the hair. Victoria gets two off a suplex before avoiding the handspring elbow in the corner. Widow’s Peak is enough to pin Molly in a quick match.

Post match Jazz comes out and hits the Jazz Stinger on Molly. Jazz shoves Victoria down as well before laying out Molly with a DDT.

Booker is fired up for his tag title shot but Goldust wants a deal first. If they win, great but if not then they split up.

Evolution has champagne.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Booker T/Goldust

Storm and Goldie start things off with Goldust cranking on the arm. A quick uppercut drops Storm and it’s off to the very popular Booker T for some chops to the chest. Lance comes back with a leg trip before it’s off to Regal who is taken down by Booker. Back to Goldust as the match is still slow paced. Regal comes back in and charges into an armdrag from Goldust.

Regal does some cheating via a knee to the back (he is a villain after all) and the champions take over. Willy comes in for a chinlock before it’s back to Storm for a cravate. Back up and a Boss Man Slam puts Storm down but Regal pulls Booker off the apron to block the hot tag. Everything breaks down and a powerslam gets two on Storm. The challengers are sent into each other and a quick dropkick from Storm is good for the pin on Goldie.

Rating: C-. This was tag team 101 but not a very good example of it. Booker and Goldust were a solid act for a long time and I don’t get the point of splitting them up when the division is such a wasteland at this point. Storm and Regal were solid in the ring but they weren’t the most charismatic team in the world.

Booker says they have nothing to be ashamed of and it’s not Goldust’s fault. He’s enjoyed their time together and they hug it out.

Bischoff goes to the saloon and tries to order a martini. This goes about as well as you would expect and Austin is in another bar elsewhere.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Kane punches him during the finger point which is an idea more people should have used over the years. Van Dam comes back with some kicks and we have a standoff. Rob tries a monkey flip but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Kane can’t gorilla press him and Van Dam goes after the leg like almost everyone else does. Kane is kicked to the floor and taken down by a dive from Rob to fire up the crowd.

Van Dam is sent into the post and a side slam gets two back inside. A kick to the chest sets up Rolling Thunder for two but a big boot puts Rob down. The top rope clothesline connects and Van Dam is down with a hurt neck. He’s channeling his inner Bret Hart by goldbricking though….but here’s Jeff Hardy for the DQ. Huh?

Rating: D+. The match was ok but the amusing part was hearing King and JR talk about Kane being such a bad partner. You could swap the name RVD for Daniel Bryan and this commentary could be used ten years later. This wasn’t much to see but with just over four minutes to work with and a run-in ending what else could they do?

Jeff takes a chokeslam and the Five Star for good measure.

Booker is trying to find Goldust but he’s gone to his hotel.

Post break and Jeff is still down in the ring. Cue Shawn Michaels who was going to talk to Chris Jericho but this will have to do. Jeff is mad at the world right now and Shawn has been there before. Shawn sees wasted potential for Jeff and now it’s time for a decision. Shawn talks about throwing Marty through the glass 15 years ago (more like eleven or so at this point), and even though no one liked the decision at the time, it made him who he is today. Jeff gets annoyed so Shawn superkicks him. There’s something great about just kicking a guy in the face when he gets on your nerves. Shawn shines his shoe afterwards.

Sean O’Haire talks about democracy. This devil’s advocate character still makes me salivate, but we got Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper out of it so it’s all good right?

Maven vs. D’Lo Brown

They trade hiptoss attempts until Maven armdrags him down. We hit the mat with Maven holding a headlock as the fans are bored already. Brown comes back with a kneelift and sends Maven into the buckle as the booing continues. Maven hits what looked to be a spin kick and a backslide for two and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. Maven misses a missile dropkick and the Sky High powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. This match exists. Next.

D’Lo’s manager Theodore Long teaches us about black power post match.

Bischoff arrives at the other bar (thankfully there were already cameras waiting for him) and after the break still doesn’t find Austin. Some guy makes fun of Bischoff and has beer poured on his head.

Evolution comes up to Goldust in the back and throws him into an electrical grid which shoots sparks everywhere. Great, it’s this angle.

Goldust is taken away by EMTs during the break.

Scott Steiner vs. Chris Jericho

The winner gets the world title shot at No Way Out. Steiner shoves him down to start but Jericho rolls him up and poses. Scott takes over and pounds away in the corner before hitting a gorilla press drop. There’s the elbow drop into the push-ups but Jericho grabs the referee to block a belly to belly suplex. A knee to the back sends Steiner to the floor so Jericho can send him into the steps. Steiner: “OW!” They head back inside for a surfboard submission from the Canadian.

Back in and Steiner hits something resembling a belly to belly suplex followed by a backdrop to take over. There’s the belly to belly but Jericho counters a powerbomb into a failed Walls attempt. Now the powerbomb hits for two but Steiner charges into a boot in the corner for two by Chris. Jericho hooks the Walls but Steiner quickly makes the rope for the break. Chris snaps Scott’s neck across the top rope but gets crotched on the top rope, setting up an Angle Slam off the top to send Steiner to the PPV.

Rating: D. Jericho was trying but Steiner was just horrible out there. Thankfully they kept this at about seven minutes instead of having it run 20:00 like the Rumble disaster became. Also did anyone believe Jericho had a chance here? Anyone? I didn’t think so, but then again we have to try to have disbelief right?

Vince comes in to see Morely and laughs about Bischoff running out of time. If Vince isn’t impressed next week, he’s fired.

Overall Rating: D-. Evolution got its name, Bischoff couldn’t find Austin, and we got the match that we knew we were going to get two weeks ago. Someone tell me what the fourth thing of note on this show was. This was two hours of nothing and a good sign of the problems this show would have for the rest of the year. The wrestling was bad, the promos were bad, the fans were baited and switched again on the Austin deal. Another horrible show this week.

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