Monday Nitro #257
Date: September 11, 2000
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash

It’s the go home show for Fall Brawl and we’re now back to the build for the pay per view after last week’s stand alone WarGames (in name only) show. Unfortunately that leaves the whole card starting from a dead end as last week had nothing to do with Booker vs. Nash or Steiner vs. Goldberg. Instead, we have a big story of David Flair marrying Miss Hancock and a possible Ric Flair appearance in another stand alone story. Let’s get to it.

David arrived earlier and Crowbar, Ozzy and Daffney greeted him to bury the hatchet. No sign of Ric though.

Jeff Jarrett thinks he should offer some entertainment for the wedding.

Opening sequence.

The arena lighting seems dark, probably to hide a low attendance.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Kronik

Rey and Juvy are defending. Before the match, Disqo runs his mouth and ticks Kronik off even more after the Animals were laid out on Thunder. It’s a brawl to start as Konnan talks about throwing Rey in quicksand. We settle down to Adams pounding Juvy in the corner and hitting a quick F5, though the landing looked more like a DDT. Rey gets a blind tag and the Animals actually double suplex Adams. That’s quite the surprise but you can only be so shocked when Konnan is talking about no selling and taking bumps.

Clark comes in and plants Juvy with a full nelson slam but Adams gives Rey an even bigger one. Cue the Harris Twins (of course) for a distraction, allowing Disqo to hit Clark with a chair and give him the Last Dance on the floor. Back in and Juvy’s 450 (he hit the mat first) only gets two. Instead it’s the What’s Up with the legdrop (named the Nutcracker) retains the titles.

Rating: C. Such is life in WCW. I was actually starting to get into this until the Twins came in to screw things up. It’s interference to set up a match that isn’t interesting and most people don’t want to see, but for some reason we’re getting the Harris Twins in the top spot instead of ANYONE else. Also, what was up with wasting the 450 near the end?

Stacy Keibler arrives.

Recap of WarGames, complete with the line of “it’s another Russo swerve!”

Tony promises an update on Vince Russo, who has suffered his third concussion in three months. I understand that concussions are bad, but I’m having issues feeling sorry for Russo when he keeps injecting himself into these big matches. He’s getting all the glory in the matches and that comes with the damage. It’s almost like someone of average size shouldn’t be getting destroyed by people the size of pro wrestlers. Apparently Russo has had to have brain surgery. Tony: “Tonight: a wedding and brain surgery.”

Here’s the Cat to say he’s in charge because Russo’s injunction was thrown out of court. Therefore, Booker vs. Nash on Sunday is now in a cage. As for tonight though, Nash is defending the title against Scott Steiner. That leaves Jeff Jarrett, who Miss Jones wants to fight. Jarrett comes out and promises to win and prove that men are superior to women. He’s even willing to wrestle handcuffed. Cat and Jeff start fighting until Steiner comes out to put Cat in the Recliner.

Booker and Sting (without paint) arrive and don’t seem worried that Steiner and Jarrett are taking over.

Big Vito vs. Reno

Stick ball bat on a pole, which is how things go in the neighborhood apparently. It must be one of the slums of Parts Unknown. Palumbo is here with Reno. Vito starts fast with a Japanese armdrag but has to go after Palumbo. A quick suplex drops Reno but the referee gets bumped. Vito grabs the stick, only to have Reno lay him out with the Roll of the Dice for no count. Cue the returning Johnny the Bull to help stand off with the Thrillers, only to turn on Vito (a full THIRTY SECONDS after coming out to defend him), giving Reno the pin.

The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat Vito down. I can’t get over the fact that this is supposed to be a swerve. It really was just thirty seconds.

Cat yells at Booker and Sting for being late but they leave together.

Steiner/Jarrett/Nash say they’re in charge tonight. Booker/Sting/Cat come in with the latter saying he’s in charge.

Madusa says she doesn’t like the women around here even though she trained them. Therefore, tonight she gets to beat up Torrie Wilson.

Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa

The announcers talk about the history of scaffold matches and we actually get a Jim Cornette reference. Madden: “Cornette fell off the scaffold and ended his career. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Madusa beats on her for about twenty seconds before Shane comes in for the DQ.

Post match Shane puts Madusa in an STF (of course) until Kidman comes in for the save. Yeah these two are feuding in case you forgot. Madusa adds herself and Torrie to make it a tag team scaffold match on Sunday. Did they really forget the lessons from Great American Bash 1991?

Crowbar helps David get ready.

Jimmy Hart hands Miss Hancock an envelope.

Mike Awesome shows up in That 70s Bus.

Nash suggests that Steiner lay down for him tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Miss Jones

Apparently Goldberg is going to be enforcer in the World Title match. Jarrett rants about “broads” thinking they can compete with men in this ring. Remember Jeff is going to wrestle handcuffed. Tony: “That means he can’t use the Stroke or the guitar.” Yeah the guitar is illegal here, meaning it’s legal otherwise. Cat gets in a few cheap shots before the bell and Jones hammers away, only to kick the referee low by mistake. Jeff kicks her in the ribs to break up a guitar shot before knocking her out with it for the pin.

See, if they actually wanted to go with something interesting here, have the trained wrestler Madusa fight Jarrett in what could be an entertaining match. Instead, we get another woman getting beaten up with little to no defense.

Anyway post match, Awesome comes out to beat up the still handcuffed Jarrett.

Nash is drawing his plan on a dry erase board. After some jokes about anatomy, Steiner thinks he should win and throws a marker. Just have them SWERVE us already so they can laugh.

Post break, Jarrett is annoyed at Nash for not coming down to help him (Nash and Steiner had said they were turning off the monitor so it’s not a huge issue). Jarrett tells Nash to deal with their stupid friend.

Here’s Jim Duggan with something to say. Duggan is so thankful to have gotten through cancer and is glad to be back here with the fans. However, in the last few weeks, he’s been realizing that he can’t beat Father Time. He’s been around for twenty years and unlike some people, he’s fine with stepping aside so the young talent can make wrestling into something we can all be proud of.

Duggan announces his retirement before talking about how he needs someone to take up the 2×4 and the American flag. That man is General Rection and there goes the idea. Rection comes out and shakes Duggan’s hand but here are Lance Storm and Major Gunns (now in a Maple Leaf top and white shorts) with the former saying no one cares about this. A non-title match is set up and we’re on.

Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm stomps him down to start as Duggan jumps in on commentary to say “come on Hugh.” A suplex brings Rection over the ropes for two but he powerbombs Storm out of the air for two. No Laughing Matter misses and the Maple Leaf goes on but Duggan points out the arm under the ropes. Duggan gets knocked off the apron so he hits Storm with the 2×4, right into a powerslam for the pin. Well at least Duggan didn’t turn on America. That would have been ridiculous.

Stacy opens the letter she got earlier and freaks out.

It’s time for the wedding with the bride and groom down to the ring in a hurry. Naturally we get a promo with David talking about how he’s let a lot of people down. That means he’d like Arn Anderson to come out here right now. Anderson says it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but his 21 year old buddies are going to call him and ask him to do something. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Also hide some of that wedding money because one day you’re going to come home late and she’s going to get mad, but then she’ll tell you to go get a good night’s sleep. When that happens, take that money and RUN. That’s all the advise from Arn, which is a shame because that was hilarious.

David isn’t done yet though as he wants someone special down here as his best man: his dad, Ric Flair. Cue a smiling Ric, now with hair again (though it’s a bit spiky now instead of the classic style). Ric says he’s a proud father tonight and he can’t wait to have this beautiful woman as part of his family in the greatest city in the world. No drama here so it’s time for the wedding.

As the minister goes on, here are a bunch of security guards and cops to arrest Ric. Apparently Vince Russo has taken out a restraining order against him and Ric has to be arrested for coming within 100 feet of this building. Ric is arrested and taken away, sending Stacy running out of the ring. So in other words, even when he’s not here, HAHA MANLY RUSSO WINS!

After a break, Ric is put in a cop car and driven away. Arn promises to bail him out as soon as possible.

The announcers talk and you can see that the entire section off the floor behind the desk is empty. The whole arena only holds 9,600 people and assuming they have most of the fans on one side of the arena, they MIGHT have 2,000 people there.

We see some of Russo’s beatings and now it’s time for the video of his brain surgery. It’s accompanied by a doctor talking about how hard this has been on Russo and how he’ll be out for a long time. You know, because we need to feel sorry for our top heel. Tony doesn’t buy the story so maybe it’s not as stupid as it seems.

Sting vs. Harris Brothers

If Cat is in charge tonight, why did he book Sting like this? The Brothers have chains for whatever reason but Sting hits the Splash and gets Don in the Deathlock in about a minute. Ron makes the save so here’s Kronik with chains of their own to choke out the twins. The beating goes on for a long time and Sting is put on top for the pin. What was the point here? Sting has a match on Sunday but other than a quick mention, this was all about Kronik and the Brothers.

Steiner yells at Jarrett.

Stacy is still freaking out when David comes in. He doesn’t care about anything that happened tonight because he just wants to marry her. Stacy says no but he talks her into it.

It’s time for another try at the wedding with the minister talking about trust. That’s too much for Stacy because, shock and awe, David isn’t the father of the baby. David freaks and Stacy runs off. The announcers find this funny for some reason.

Post break, Stacy jumps in a limo and David can’t get there. We pan over to Awesome escorting Pamela onto the bus until Jarrett lays him out. The Thrillers come in to keep up the beating.

Steiner yells about his freaks and the Earth rotating on a 47 degree axis. He’ll beat on Goldberg too.

The announcers talk again and fans have been moved in to fill in the gap. I’m stunned that the production staff actually pays attention. Or that they exist for that matter.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Nash is defending, Cat is on commentary, Booker T. is guest referee and Goldberg is enforcer. Before the match, Booker promises to get the title back on Sunday. Steiner (still with a protective mask on) isn’t interested in the fingerpoke so Nash tries to leave. That’s not cool with Scott so they actually start fighting. Nash takes over to start until Steiner scores with a clothesline and the bicep elbow. Booker counts slowly and it’s time to beat up the referee. Goldberg comes in and I’m assuming the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Another referee tries to come in but gets sent to the floor as Steiner suplexes Goldberg. Booker is down on the floor and Cat stays on commentary as the good guys are beaten down. Cat finally takes a chair away from Steiner, allowing Goldberg to start his comeback. It’s Booker beating on Nash as it’s clear that a tag match would have been a decent idea here.

The other referee is circling this stuff like it’s a match for whatever reason….and here’s That 70s Bus down the aisle. The Thrillers come out and start brawling as well, followed by Jarrett with a pipe. Booker gets powerbombed and thrown through the windshield. Now it’s Goldberg being handcuffed to the front of the bus but he breaks the grill off as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F. I know I say this a lot but what a mess this was. Sunday’s two big matches were set up a bit but there was just so much other stuff going on that there’s no way to get behind the show. The ending was a disaster and just another part of all the messiness that bogged the show down. The longest match was about four minutes (the opener) and the rest of the show was a combination of men beating on women, the double wedding and short angles disguised as matches.

I really don’t have an interest in Sunday’s show and so much of that is because I can barely remember most of the card. As usual, one of the major problems of this kind of booking is trying to keep track of why something happened. Why are Goldberg and Steiner fighting? I’m not entirely sure, though I’m sure it was some swerve that came a few weeks ago. The swerves kind of run together after awhile, especially when you can see them coming so far away. Russo really doesn’t have a ton of ideas and once you get a handle on him, any magic he might have goes away in a hurry. Really bad show this week but that’s to be expected.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: September 6, 2000
Location: Reed Arena, College Station, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We’re getting closer to Fall Brawl and we’re now past the big waste of time known as WarGames 2000. In theory that means it’s time to crank up the storylines but who knows what that could mean around here. To be fair though Thunder was actually a really good show last week so maybe I have some hope here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

MI Smooth takes the Natural Born Thrillers to the Power Plant.

Kwee Wee vs. Lieutenant Loco

This has potential and is a #1 contenders match. Before they can get anything going, here are Elix Skipper and Major Gunns for commentary. Kwee Wee grabs a slam to start and stomps Chavo in the corner before throwing him down with a quick suplex. That’s fine with Chavo as he comes back with a quick brainbuster but can’t get the tornado DDT. They’re flying through this. Instead he shoves Kwee Wee away, only to get crotched by Paisley, allowing Kwee Wee to drop him with a hanging DDT for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. As usual, letting the wrestlers wrestle is the best idea they can have around here. Kwee Wee is still working hard in the ring but there’s no way around this stupid gimmick. I mean, what is he supposed to do with a gimmick that is destined to stay a goofy comedy guy instead of anything serious?

Post match the three women (Tygress as the third) get in a fight, only to have Skipper pull Gunns away before the MIA can save her.

The announcers talk about the history between Goldberg and Bret Hart. I don’t know if WCW knew that Hart wasn’t going to be able to get in the ring again but this is pretty close to false advertising by implying that this was leading to a match.

The sitdown interview is with David Flair and Miss Hancock before their wedding on Monday. It’s about time they built that thing up.

We go back to the Power Plant with the Thrillers returning to their old stomping grounds. They offer to give the guys in the ring some training but Mike Graham actually gets Sanders in a Figure Four. The beatdown is on and the Thrillers leave them laying. A guy cleaning the floor gets beaten up too and it’s time for the big showdown with Paul Orndorff. They let themselves into his office and Paul tries to throw them out to no avail. Orndorff asks what happened to them but the Thrillers beat him down as well. Security finally breaks it up but this did its job.

It’s time for the sitdown interview with David Flair and Miss Hancock. Tenay gets right to the point by asking if Ric will be there. Didn’t we cover that on Monday with Arn? David hasn’t talked to his family but they’re welcome to come if they like. Mike calls Hancock a gold digger (she was reaching into David’s pockets for something) before asking if David will be a better father than Ric. They argue over whether that’s personal or not (it kind of is Mike) and that’s it. Mike gives them six months at most. So Gene’s gimmick is that he’s a dirty old man and Tenay’s is that he’s just a jerk while doing interviews? How does this help anything?

Goldberg is looking for Hart.

Clip from before Nitro of the Harris Twins beating Kronik down in a bar.

Kronik vs. 3 Count

Well last week the Dragons were beaten down so I guess it’s 3 Count’s turn. The band calls out the big guys and the beating is quickly on. Helms gets in a quick superkick on Clark but Karagias eats the full nelson slam. Not that it matters as the Harris Twins appear, drawing Kronik up the ramp for a countout. After destroying 3 Count of course.

Post match Tank Abbott comes out and pummels 3 Count to make sure they get nothing out of this show.

Bret is here and has security guarding his locker room. Smart.

Crowbar says he’s ready for Troy Martin (Shane Douglas). Again I ask: how does this help anything? Yeah that’s his real name and how does that make me want to see their match any more?

It’s time to make things even worse as we have the debut of the Lava Lamp Lounge, as in Mike Awesome’s 70s themed talk show. Apparently he isn’t just into fat chicks anymore because there’s enough Vitamin A to go around. His guest tonight: Paula Pamshock (exactly as he said it).

As expected Awesome hits on her with some of the worst lines you’ve ever heard until Jeff Jarrett comes out for the interruption. Jarrett: “You look like a cross between John Travolta in Saturday Night Live and Austin Powers.” That might be worse than Paula Pamshock. It’s the big brawl with the set being destroyed but Okerlund runs out to save Pamela from the guitar shot, which takes Awesome out instead. Predictable but fine, save for the horrible screwing up lines.

Crowbar vs. Shane Douglas

Now remember: real names were used so this is a big deal. Before the match, Shane rips on Goldberg because that’s still supposed to be a thing. Crowbar has taped ribs so Shane goes after them before the bell, only to get punched and bitten in the corner. A baseball slide sends Shane to the floor and Crowbar, with the bad ribs, does his splash off the apron. Maybe it’s because he’s crazy?

Shane gets smart and sends Crowbar ribs first into the barricade a few times before throwing on an abdominal stretch back inside. The hold is broken as quickly as most other abdominal stretches are after 1958 and Crowbar starts whipping him with a belt. The northern lights suplex and Death Valley Driver get two each on Shane but Crowbar goes after Torrie (for interfering) and walks into the Franchiser for the pin.

Rating: D. This could have been good had Crowbar remembered he had bad ribs to start and if I didn’t have to listen to Shane doing his really weak heel stuff before the match. I’m really not sure what they’re going for with Shane at the moment as the feud with Kidman hasn’t been mentioned in a week, though I’m sure it’s supposed to be a big enough deal that we just go with it.

Post match Daffney comes out to brawl with Torrie. Ozzy (the boyfriend) comes out but gets beaten down by Shane. This brings out Madusa of all people to drop Shane with an enziguri.

Goldberg beats up the security guards and there’s no Bret inside.

Here’s Bret with something to say. He wants to know what happened to wrestling with people like Mike Awesome being wasted in stuff like that segment he was just in. Vince Russo has the stroke around here but everyone knows he’s the best in the world. Bret has beaten everyone in the WWF and now he’s beaten everyone here too, including Goldberg. The only person that ever gave him a chance was Vince Russo, who gave him title shots the second he got here.

We see the Bret Killer Kick from Starrcade, which cost him millions of dollars. “I couldn’t even buy that ranch I wanted.” Goldberg claims to be some kind of animal activist but he treated Bret worse than any animal. Cue Goldberg to say if this was the normal version of him, he’d have already taken Bret’s head off. Believe it or not, he has some remorse. There are times where he wishes it was him that got his head kicked off. Bret wishes that every day because all Goldberg cares about is his merchandise being on the shelf.

Goldberg says he was doing his job but every night he has to wonder. When Goldberg was growing up, Bret was one of the people he looked up to. Goldberg is 34 here so the timing doesn’t work here, but he tries to leave because Bret isn’t worth it anymore. Bret says Goldberg isn’t the real thing and that’s enough to get him back in the ring. Cue Scott Steiner with a pipe to lay Goldberg out and put him in the Recliner.

WCW Motorsports, with Vampiro completely out of character.

Steiner leaves the building.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Harris Brothers

The Brothers are challenging while Konnan/Disqo do commentary. Juvy starts fast with a springboard dropkick to we’ll say Ron before it’s off to Don for some no selling and power beating. A sideslam gets two and it’s already Juvy in trouble. It’s back to Ron (like it matters) who gets kicked in the face and taken down by a springboard bulldog.

Rey finally gets the tag as everything breaks down, including Tygress coming in for a Bronco Buster. Juvy gets kicked low but here’s Kronik because we didn’t have enough interference yet. Kronik lays out Disqo for no apparent reason before Clark throws Rey at one of the Brothers for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. I’d still love to hear the pitch meeting where the Harris Brothers got jobs for so long. Was there really any good reason to go with the other than they’re big and look alike? I’m really not sure what the appeal is of them looking alike as they wrestle the same style anyway. At least with a team like the Usos you get something entertaining more often than not. The Harris Brothers are just big generic power guys who happen to be identical. That warrants employment for some reason.

Video on WarGames, which means the whole show.

After the show, Booker and his friends/family promised to get the title back at Fall Brawl. Cool moment, which is why it wasn’t on Nitro but Russo got to talk about 18 times.

Video on Sting vs. Vampiro, which is continuing for whatever reason.

Sting vs. Vampiro

Anything goes and we’re getting the Clowns on commentary to make this show so much better. The Clowns introduce themselves and offer “Tony Zimbabwe” three dollars to shill for JCW. This is also NOT for the JCW Title because Sting hasn’t beaten Mad Man Pondo. They head outside to start with Vampiro sending him into the barricade before taking it into the crowd.

We get the usual punching and walking until Sting takes it back to ringside for a whip into the barricade of his own. Sting goes face first into the announcers’ table so J can get in a right hand to the head. The Iranian Judo Attack (a clothesline) puts Sting down but he pops up and sends the Clowns running away. A lame chair to the head drops Vampiro and they head back inside as the Clowns freak out that Tony has lost his coloring book.

Vampiro comes back with chops but we might have some stolen food stamps. The Olive Loaf Chop staggers Sting but he slams Vampiro off the top for a comeback. Vampiro starts in on the leg (with the Saline Sam Coconut Crunch Lock) before kicking Sting in the face. There’s the Stinger Splash but but Shaggy throws the JCW Title at Sting’s leg. Not that it matters as the Death Drop knocks Vampiro silly for the pin. However, JCW rules say the loser wins and $5 of your ticket cost will go into Violent J’s pockets.

Rating: D+. The commentary was absolutely hilarious and the wrestling was really just there as a backdrop. The Clowns may not be the best wrestlers in the world (or really even close) but at leas they’re good for something around here. I really wish we could get past this Sting vs. Vampiro nonsense, but what in the world could they have for either guy next?

Post match Sting gets beaten down until Great Muta makes the save.

Goldberg is in the ring and calls out Bret Hart for a fight right here. Instead he gets Team Canada because they’re all the same right?

Team Canada vs. Goldberg

Goldberg yawns through the Canadian national anthem and the Canadians argue over who has to start. Storm throws Skipper at Goldberg and it’s a spear to the Cruiserweight Champion in about ten seconds. There goes Storm up the ramp but General Rection cuts him off. Back in and the spear into the Jackhammer ends Storm with ease. So much for the titles meaning anything around here.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a story heavy show but not in the stupid way that Nitro tends to go. I can live with a show that focuses on talking and setting up things for later, but it really doesn’t matter if the stories don’t have the chance to go anywhere when every Monday gets more and more insane. We’ve actually reached the point where Thunder is the bright spot in WCW and I’m not sure how to handle that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: August 30, 2000
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

This is another case where just getting up to a coherent show would be a huge improvement over what they had on Monday. Thunder isn’t usually the best show in the world but at least it has a tendency to make sense. Nash is the World Champion now, which could actually work if he puts Booker over at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Nitro. Normally editing things down to a few minutes works but in this case, the show is still a disaster.

Here’s Team Canada with the captured Major Gunns in the ring. Elix Skipper says “Show me the Canadian money!” Gunns has to hold the flag and rolls her eyes throughout Storm’s speech about how we all want to be Canadians. The Canadian national anthem plays so Gunns drops the flag and rips her top off to reveal an American flag bra. Cue Team Canada’s opponents.

Team Canada vs. Kronik

Storm is sent to the floor and Adams launches Skipper down on top of him. We settle down with Clark stomping away at Skipper in the corner. Tony promises the announcement of a first time ever match this coming Monday on Nitro. A double shoulder drops Skipper and he dives backwards into a full nelson slam, only to have Storm springboard in with a clothesline for two. Tony: “One, two, HE ALMOST BEAT HIM!” Yeah because the US Champion getting a pin would be shocking.

Adams clotheslines both guys down and brings in Clark for the Meltdown on Skipper for two. Storm breaks up High Times and goes for the flag, only to have Gunns jab him between the legs. The full nelson slam and High Times puts Storm away, because why not pin the US Champion in a nothing match?

Rating: C-. Not the worst power vs. speed match as I could watch Storm being that smooth in the ring all day. The guy just looks natural flying around at a level that almost no one else reaches. I didn’t like the ending but at least the match leading up to it was good enough and we’re off to a nice start.

Post match here’s General Rection comes down to try to save Gunns but the Canadians fight back, drawing out the rest of the Misfits for the save. The Canadians get away with Gunns.

The Natural Born Thrillers are ready for a limo but it’s Nash and Steiner. The new champ wants to have fun tonight “and that’s a shoot.”

We see a clip of the Thunder Tailgate Party. Ignore Vito still wearing the Hardcore Title, making this a month old at least.

Here are Steiner, Jarrett, Nash and the Thrillers (you knew the mega heel stable was coming) with Scott going first. Apparently he isn’t allowed to call Goldberg all the names he wants because the corporate sponsors won’t let him. Some villain. He got hit in the face with a pipe on Monday and has the banged up eyes to prove it. After Steiner swears a bit (that’s more like it), he promises to take care of Goldberg at Fall Brawl.

Nash talks about winning the World Title for the fifth time on Monday. Stevie: “And no one remembers the first four.” Well to be fair those, three of those reigns combined to last about two weeks. He’s watched the tape back a few times and sees why Jarrett played it so fair during the match: Jeff wanted Nash to win the title on his own, because Nash wanted to do it for the people. Gee I just thought it was bad writing.

The fans actually cheer the line (save for Daffney and the Crowbar look-a-like, who are in the audience for some reason) and Nash chuckles. All that means is more people willing to pay another $30 at an autograph signing because their picture has the belt in it. Nash touts the Thrillers as the future and says Goldberg is out in the desert so there’s no one to stop them tonight.

Cue Booker to say he has a clique of his own, so here are Vito, Awesome and the Filthy Animals. So the clique known as the Animals are part of an even bigger clique? You think you might be overdoing this faction war stuff? Booker is worried about the guys in the ring taking over WCW and the fight is on until security makes the save.

A few notes here. First, I don’t really see why this is a problem since we’ve established that Cat is more powerful than Russo. Second, this was actually a well done segment with the storyline being laid out right in front of us. That’s one area where Russo excels: he can set up a big story really, really well.

Unfortunately that brings us to the third point: we’re going to have to see where this goes and that’s Russo’s downfall. He can set stuff up but at some point he has to execute those stories and the whole thing collapses. On top of that, if you’ve seen one Russo faction war story, you’ve seen them all. Thankfully this one is off to a good start though and you have to take the little things while you can. Oh and ignore the setup having plot holes the size of Russo’s MANLY biceps of course.

Back from a break and we see Nash taking over the control booth during the commercial. Apparently he’s in charge now and sends Reno to face Mike Awesome.

Rection wants Storm at Fall Brawl. For AMERICA. And Gunns.

Wedding invitation for a week from Monday.

Reno vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome is in ring gear here, which really makes me wonder why the 70s thing existed. He doesn’t wear the stuff to the ring and wrestles the same so why do it other than to amuse the writers? Awesome elbows him in the face to start and throws him down with a German suplex for no cover.

The slingshot shoulder gets two for Mike and we hear about War Games 2000 airing this Monday on Nitro, meaning it’s the first time ever both A, on TV and B, for the World Title. Thanks for giving us a full FIVE DAYS notice for this huge match. Reno gets in a shot to the ribs but stops to go after Daffney’s boyfriend (Ozzie) for no apparent reason. Stevie: “How did they get front row seats in this venue?” Back in and Mike grabs the Awesome Bomb for a quick pin. Stevie: “BUT HOW DID THEY GET THE SEATS TONY???”

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the Ozzie stuff didn’t make much sense. Reno is yet another guy with a great look who could have been something if he was given the chance. Awesome did his usual but he was really just a warm body here, which is yet another waste of talent.

Reno beats up Ozzie and Daffney throws popcorn.

During the break, Jarrett jumped Awesome until Jimmy Hart and Finlay of all people broke it up. I like this attacks during the break stuff. There’s something so fake about having nothing happen until we’re back from a commercial.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Paul Orndorff earlier today in the empty arena. Tony asks about Orndorff being in charge of the Power Plant. Paul calls the students his kids and he’s so proud of all of them. The Power Plant is brutal but he’s looking for the best of the best (I guess Batista isn’t considered that great).

Orndorff keeps the students working hard and has them clean the place because they need to learn that no one is above anything. Tony brings up the Natural Born Thrillers having no respect for Orndorff and claiming that it was their talent that got them here. Mike Sanders called Orndorff a miserable old man and that’s more than enough for Paul.

It’s time for an old school rant with Paul talking about how these kids are ungrateful and how they were nothing before he got hold of them. Tony keeps egging him on by saying how often the Thrillers talk like this and you can see Orndorff getting madder and madder because this is what he gets every time he tries to help someone. Really good stuff from Orndorff here as he gets the role perfectly and nailed it, as most old school guys can.

Back live and here are the Thrillers with signs about Orndorff, including “Your best match was against Vader” and “Aren’t you dead yet?” The signs are turned around to spell out WE RULE.

Steiner hits Reno with a pipe for losing.

Booker says his knee is fine and he’s ready for Mike Sanders tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Jindrak and O’Haire are challenging, as ordered by Nash and company. Before we get started, O’Haire says we’ll make it fair by letting Disqo be on the team. Or we could just have a tag match but that might make too much sense. Konnan sits in on commentary. O’Haire slams Disqo down to start and hits that sweet springboard clothesline of his. Disqo gets in a few shots and wisely brings in Juvy for some quick legdrops.

Off to Rey for the Bronco Buster but he dives into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. It’s off to Jindrak who gets two off a clothesline, followed by a nice Torture Rack neckbreaker for two more. Mark misses a dropkick though and it’s off to Juvy for some dropkicks of his own. In the melee, O’Haire gets in a quick tag, allowing Jindrak to throw Juvy into the air for a powerslam from Sean.

Juvy rolls to the floor so Sean hiptosses him over the top and back inside. There’s something awesome about small people being thrown around like that. Back in and the hot tag brings in Rey as everything breaks down. O’Haire kicks Disqo in the face but Juvy breaks up the Seanton Bomb and pulls Sean down with a hurricanrana. A quick Rey legdrop between the legs retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Now this is how you do the power vs. speed formula. This worked really well back and forth, even if the idea of the champions having the advantage goes completely against face/heel psychology. Jindrak and O’Haire’s good looking tandem stuff makes up for it though, along with Juvy and Rey bumping like pinballs.

Mike Sanders gets Booker T. tonight. Jarrett comes in and says he’s booked himself in a match that could end his career. Just give us the comedy reveal already.

Steiner attacks Jindrak and O’Haire as well.

Mike Sanders vs. Booker T.

Sanders tells Booker to bring it so here’s a livid Mr. T. Booker drops him with an early clothesline and hammers away with right hands in the corner. The ax kick, side kick and Book End put Sanders away in barely a minute.

Post break Booker is limping and Sanders gets beaten down as well.

Jarrett is getting his blood pressure checked before his big intimidating match.

Big Vito vs. Chuck Palumbo

This is the result of a Vito challenge. They trade early slams for two until Vito grabs a suplex and drops the top rope elbow. The top rope headbutt misses though and Palumbo hits a nice top rope shoulder for two of his own. Not that it matters as Vito hits him in the ribs and scores with the implant DDT for another quick win. So much for Nash’s boys being, you know, good.

Steiner beats up Palumbo as well. Good for him as Palumbo should be able to last two minutes against Big Vito.

Harris Twins vs. Misfits in Action

AWOL/Rection here. It’s a big fight to start as is almost always the custom in tag matches around here. The Misfits take over with AWOL working over we’ll say Don as things settle down. Since that’s too calm for WCW, here’s Storm with Major Gunns for a distraction. AWOL goes through a table because what else is he supposed to do. The H Bomb is broken up by Rection, who loads up No Laughing Matter, only to have Skipper come out and hit him with the flag. Isn’t that disrespecting the Maple Leaf? We’re still not done though as Kronik comes in for High Times on Ron, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. Well you knew something like this was coming. Who in the world thought we needed five people running in and a weapon shot on a quick TV match? The Misfits are another team that could go somewhere if there weren’t so many factions on the show that take up space. We’re currently at seven stables and counting (Misfits, Thrillers, Team Canada, Nash’s group, Booker’s group, Filthy Animals, Dark Carnival) so how exactly are the Misfits supposed to stand out?

AWOL saves Rection from Storm.

Leia Meow whips the Dragons for losing so much. If they don’t get better, they have to lick her boots. Ok then.

Steiner and Nash interrupt Jarrett at prayer and offer to have his back out there tonight. Jarrett has to do this himself.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

It’s Kwee Wee. There’s nothing else to say here and if you’ve ever watched wrestling before, you knew a swerve was coming the whole way. Jarrett jumps him at the bell as Paisley sits in on commentary. Kwee Wee gets slugged down as Stevie talks about keeping his yaks intact. A hiptoss and back elbow put Jarrett down but he sidesteps a missile dropkick.

Jeff loads up the Stroke but throws him down when Mike Awesome comes out for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Jeff but the referee gets rid of Awesome, allowing Jeff to….do nothing. Kwee Wee tries what looks like a powerbomb but drops Jarrett for two instead. The Stroke wraps it up pretty quick.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as you could see the joke from the second they announced this in the first place. At least in this case they weren’t really trying to hide it which makes this a lot easier to sit through. Nash and Steiner playing along helped and at least the match was short enough.

Here’s Shawn Stasiak for an arm wrestling challenge. As you might expect, here’s Orndorff to answer as well as scare Stasiak half to death. Paul almost has it won but then punches Shawn in the face like a ticked off veteran should. There’s a piledriver for Stasiak before Orndorff grabs a chair and fights off the rest of the Thrillers. This REALLY hasn’t been their night but Orndorff is already better than most of the people on this show.

Cat and Ms. Jones get here.

Here’s Cat in the arena to call out Nash, who works for Russo who works for Cat. Therefore it’s time for Cat vs. Nash….which doesn’t actually start as Cat has to beat up Steiner and Jarrett. Nash comes in with a ball bat because THE CAT is just so tough. Jones tries to slap Jeff but gets guitared, which finally draws out Booker to help. The Thrillers come out and keep the beating going to end the show. I have no idea why the Animals, Awesome or Vito didn’t come out to help but that’s continuity for you.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the best Thunder in probably a year at least. Well at least the first half was as the rest turned into another goofy mess. The key thing here is they toned down all the ridiculous insanity and just told their big story with wrestling matches. That’s one of the things that drives me craziest about Russo: there’s good(ish) stuff buried deep under the mess, but there’s so much bad to get through that it’s hard to keep trying. Still though, awesome first hour this week and not a bad enough second hour to kill it.

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Monday Nitro #255
Date: August 28, 2016
Location: Pan American Center, Las Cruces, New Mexico
Attendance: 4,588
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

I’m sitting here trying to write an introduction for this show and I honestly can’t remember anything from the last two shows. I watched Nitro a week ago and Thunder three days ago and I have no idea what happened. The big matches are Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg, but none of the details or any of the other details are coming to me. So little of this has any staying power whatsoever and feels like they’re flying from story to story with nothing in between. Let’s get to it.

We actually open with an NWO video. As in the Outsiders/Jarrett/Hart. Why in the world is this airing and why do I have a chill running up my spine at the possibilities?

Scott Steiner, Kevin Nash, Jeff Jarrett and Vince Russo get out of a limo.

Dark Carnival vs. 3 Count

It’s Vampiro and the Clowns here, leaving Muta of all people to do commentary. This goes as well as you would expect it to as Madden “translates”. The band dives onto the Carnival a few times to take over I’m pretty sure Muta’s voice is overdubbed here and you can almost feel the racial overtones from here. The Clowns are knocked to the floor and a double suplex drops Vampiro. Muta screams for some reason and Tony asks Mark what he said. Madden: “He said AAAHHHHHH!!!!” Back in and Vampiro hits a Nail in the Coffin to Moore, setting up a guillotine foot drop from Shaggy for the pin.

Post match Tank Abbott comes out to destroy 3 Count. The Carnival and 3 Count beat Tank down until Demon makes the save. Muta gets in with the mist to Demon, only to have Sting come out for the real save. That would be three people running in, mist and a ball bat as fallout from a 2:40 match. Sting, Tank and Demon pose in a very odd visual.

Here are Russo, Nash, Jarrett, Steiner and the Natural Born Thrillers with something to say, though I have a feeling Nash and Russo will do most of the talking. Russo tells us to cheer him because this is the elite group of WCW. Wasn’t this the same group that wanted to kill each other at New Blood Rising? Now the Band is back together and Goldberg is in trouble. All Goldberg had to do was sign his release but now it’s going to become New York ugly.

Jarrett says he has all the stroke around here no one can touch them. Some of the people here might find it odd that Nash is back on the team. However, Jarrett wants to talk about something personal, like Mike Awesome. Mike cost him the US Title last week so Jarrett wants him in a Bunkhouse Brawl at Fall Brawl. Steiner got his revenge last week and Goldberg found out what payback was. He could walk backwards and look better than Goldberg’s girlfriend and that’s about it.

Nash says he should have called himself the Puppet Master instead of Big Sexy. Every few months he suckers people in so they’ll buy his merchandise but now that it’s all sold out, you get the real him. He doesn’t care about any of the fans and he never will. The people can’t get him title shots or watch his back but the people in this ring certainly can. The fans start chanting for Booker but Nash promises to take the title in Buffalo at Fall Brawl. Russo says not so fast though because Nash isn’t getting the title shot at the pay per view. Instead, he’s getting the shot tonight with Jarrett as referee and Steiner as outside enforcer.

Cue Booker to tell Nash to shut up and to tell Russo to pick a buddy to get beaten up. This brings out the Cat and Ms. Jones with the former wanting his karate gi to give someone else a beating. The Thrillers let the two of them walk by and Cat gets in the ring to tell Russo to get out of town because he’s not the boss. Nash and company beat Cat and Booker down so here are the Filthy Animals to go after the Thrillers.

They get through the line and are destroyed by the big names as well before Russo and company go up the ramp. Goldberg appears on screen in the desert, digging a hole. He promises to come back tonight and take care of all the goons though before bringing Russo to the desert and burying him in the sand. In other words, Russo is next.

Let’s pause here for a second and recap. Here’s a list of people involved in the first segment:

3 Count (Karagias, Moore, Helms)

Dark Carnival (Vampiro, Muta, Insane Clown Posse)

Tank Abbott

Sting

Demon

Here’s a list of people involved in the second segment:

Vince Russo

Kevin Nash

Jeff Jarrett

Scott Steiner

Natural Born Thrillers (Reno, Sanders, Jindrak, Stasiak, O’Haire, Palumbo)

Booker T.

Ms. Jones

The Cat

Filthy Animals (Konnan, Juvy, Mysterio, Disqo)

Goldberg

To recap, TWENTY EIGHT PEOPLE were involved in the first two segments. We’re not even a fourth of the way into this show and we’ve nearly had enough people to run a Royal Rumble. You think they might be overdoing it a little bit???

Cat is taken away in an ambulance.

Russo tells his buddies to keep an eye on him because Goldberg might bury him alive. Jarrett has someone coming in to deal with Goldberg while they get ready for later. So in other words, Russo and Goldberg is the big story instead of the World Title. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. Goldberg calls Russo (thank goodness he knew his number and could get to a phone in the desert) and says he’s on his way.

Tygress vs. Major Gunns vs. Paisley

Paisley kicks Gunns in the back and leaves as Tygress rolls her up for the pin in 20 seconds. The referee says it was only a two so Paisley and Tygress beat Gunns up even more before leaving with no cover. I don’t even know how to call this stupid.

The Animals beat up the Thrillers and Konnan makes fun of Russo. So yeah, again it’s all about Russo.

Jarrett has a truck full of guitars. Ok that’s actually funny.

Mike Awesome is now a fan of the 1970s. I knew this was coming and it really doesn’t help. He just came in for an interview and is wearing a blue leisure suit with disco playing in the background. Awesome wants Rick Steiner in a Bunkhouse Brawl as a warmup later tonight.

Kronik vs. Harris Twins

This is a House of Pain match, meaning a cage where you have to handcuff your opponents to the cage wall, because that makes sense. It’s a slugout to start with the camera jumping around way too often. Clark suplexes Ron and drops a middle rope elbow and Adams plants Ron with a full nelson slam. With enough wrestling having been done so far, Adams throws Ron through the cage wall and they brawl on the floor with Don beating up a fan for no apparent reason. The match, a cage match, is thrown out in less than two and a half minutes.

Preview of The Way of the Gun, an upcoming movie.

Here’s Team Canada to issue a challenge to MIA for a Prisoner of War match. In other words, the winner gets to kidnap a member of the other team and keep them for an undisclosed period of time. Cue the MIA, with Rection saying their name now stands for Made in America. The match is on, as long as it can be a tables match.

Lance Storm vs. Sgt. AWOL

Non-title. AWOL takes him down to start and they’re quickly on the floor with Storm getting kicked in the face. Storm gets back in and Skipper hits AWOL with the flag, allowing Storm to dropkick AWOL off the apron and through the table.

Storm grabs Gunns and bails.

Sting (with the announcers being heard off camera) accepts Muta’s challenge. When did he make that challenge?

Mike Awesome vs. Rick Steiner

Bunkhouse Brawl, meaning no holds barred. Thankfully Awesome is in his regular gear here. Steiner jumps him to start but Mike clotheslines him to the floor and hits a big old dive over the top. Awesome throws in a table but Jeff Jarrett runs in with a pipe, allowing Steiner to German suplex Awesome through the table for the pin.

Ok, stop for a second. To recap, we’ve just finished our fifth match, which has consisted of a six man tag, a triple threat, a gimmick cage match, a tables match and a hardcore match. Total match time: 8:23. That should be the first hour and a half of a pay per view and we haven’t even had nine minutes of action. How in the world did we get here?

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash

Booker is defending, Russo is on commentary, Jarrett is inside referee and Steiner is outside referee. This is your first half main event, meaning that indeed, this show is more about Goldberg and Russo. Nash kicks him in the face to start and they head to the floor with Jarrett actually counting them both out.

Russo is off commentary to yell at Jarrett for throwing Booker back inside, only to have Jeff shove him back to the booth. Back in and Booker hammers away in the corner as Jeff seems to be calling it down the middle. I’m sure that’s going to last until the end of the match too. Nash drops the champ with a clothesline for two. Russo freaks out as Steiner hits Booker in the back, sending Jarrett outside while Nash covers Booker. Jeff shoves Russo as Nash slowly beats on Booker with Russo threatening to fire the referee.

There’s a superkick to Nash, followed by the side kick for no cover. The ax kick sets up the Spinarooni and the missile dropkick. Steiner comes back and we hear the production team doing an audio test. Of course we do. Booker drops Steiner but Jeff hits the champ with a guitar because we needed a swerve of a group set up twenty minutes ago in a seven and a half minute match. Nash gets up and Jackknifes Booker for the pin and his fifth title.

Rating: D-. This is a classic case of WHAT WAS THE POINT. Like I said, the group was announced maybe half an hour ago at most but we had a swerve, teasing issues between them. Then they get to say it’s all a swerve and laugh after Russo acted all freaked out for about three minutes. Again I ask: what was the point? I’m sure it’s more of Russo’s brilliant writing that went over my head, which happens way too often on these shows. Just let the fix be in from the start next time and stop making things complicated.

Tony: “This is the worst thing to ever happen to the WCW World Title. And we’ve seen a lot of bad things happen to it.”

Russo and company celebrate but they still need to worry about Goldberg.

Booker leaves as Goldberg arrives, which gets him to stick around.

Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson are in the crowd with Shane saying he left Kidman alive at New Blood Rising. That’s not a mistake he’ll make again because he wants a scaffold match at Fall Brawl. Of course he does. Cue Crowbar to go after Shane for whatever reason but Daffney is down under the balcony for an unintentional distraction, allowing Shane to throw Crowbar off the balcony and through a well placed table.

Shane goes down after him and shoves Daffney (there’s your required violence against a woman) before heading to the ring with Torrie. That was just a warmup so if there’s a man who wants to give him a real test, come out here now. Cue Goldberg to dispatch Shane with the usual. So we have a match set up, a random Crowbar appearance, a big bump to likely write Crowbar off TV, a woman being shoved, and Goldberg destroying Shane so no one remembers what Shane did. This show makes me need oxygen.

Nash goes into the shower (complete with the censored stuff) but Booker jumps him from behind.

Russo panics so Steiner goes to deal with Goldberg. Why doesn’t Russo go with him?

We get a wedding invitation from David Flair and Miss Hancock (in Charlotte) for two weeks from tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Big Vito

Madden makes Italian jokes and Tony talks about Russo as Vito powerslams Jeff for two. A loud right hand drops Jeff again but Jarrett comes back with some right hands of his own. There’s the Mafia Kick and a legdrop for two on Jarrett as Vito continues to be far more adequate in the ring than you would expect him to be. A top rope elbow gets two more on Jarrett as Madden is freaking out. Jeff’s enziguri looks to set up the Stroke but Vito counters with a good looking belly to back. Vito drops a top rope headbutt for two more but the Big Vito Special (Impaler) is countered into the Stroke for the clean pin.

Rating: C. Write this down because I don’t think there’s going to be another clean finish in this company for probably weeks. This worked far better than it had any right to be with Vito more than hanging in there against the more talented Jarrett. Like so many people on the roster though, Vito can do as much as he wants but with this basic of a gimmick, the glass ceiling is going to leave one heck of a bump on the back of his head.

Jarrett goes outside to get more guitars but Mike Awesome is waiting under the pile and takes Jeff out. Again, that was clever.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. Filthy Animals

This is a ten person elimination tag with Stasiak as the odd man out and Tygress in the ring for the Animals. Palumbo and Guerrera get things going with Juvy kicking at the legs and taking him over with a nice suplex. Juvy tries to go up but gets caught in midair for a fall away slam. Stasiak brings up Paul Orndorff as their trainer but doesn’t seem to think too much of him. Reno comes in to pound on Mysterio but it’s quickly back to Juvy to counter a powerbomb, allowing Rey to drop a springboard legdrop. A suplex puts Rey down and Jindrak comes in for a no hands Lionsault.

Kidman comes in but eats a tilt-a-whirl slam….which he doesn’t quite sell as he pops up with a Chartbuster. The hot tag brings in Konnan to clean house as everything breaks down with a bunch of people fighting to the floor for an eight man countout. We’re down to Sanders vs. Tygress with the latter knocking Mike into the corner for a Bronco Buster. That goes nowhere and the 3.0 gives Mike the easy pin.

Rating: D. Well it was fun while it lasted, or at least the first three minutes or so before we had to get to the trick to get out of having a match go on forever. On top of that, we had another woman getting beaten up by a man so everyone wins. This was another good idea that had to be rushed through because Russo is a nitwit.

Goldberg lays out Scott Steiner.

Russo is looking for any protection he can find (because just LEAVING is out of the question) and runs into Vito. After a quick apology from Russo, Vito gives him the kiss of death.

Here’s Russo in the arena because that’s the best place he could hide. Vito actually comes out with him and you can see the swerve coming from here. What swerve? No idea but you know one is coming. Russo is all MANLY again and calls out Goldberg because this is Russo’s house and these are Russo’s people.

Cue Goldberg as Russo KEEPS TALKING, saying that Goldberg can’t touch him. Wait….he’s been running scared all night and NOW he remembers that??? Tony: “This is real life fans.” Vito blasts Russo with the stick ball bat and stomps away. Goldberg throws Vito something (keys maybe) and tells Vito to take out the garbage. Vito carries Russo off, presumably out to the grave in the desert. I’m sure Goldberg and Vito, great pals of course, talked about where it was and that Vito has a good knowledge of the New Mexico desert’s geography.

Sting vs. Great Muta

They start fighting in the aisle before the bell and we’re not going to have a match are we? Sting takes over and hits Muta with a chair, only to get kicked back. Since this hasn’t gone on long enough, Vampiro and the Clowns cut through the video screen so Vampiro can dive off and hit Sting with a kendo stick. I guess walking out was too passe. Sting fights back and they climb onto the screen. The Clowns pull him through the hole in the screen and pound him down for way longer than this needed to go.

We cut to the desert with Bret Hart of all people getting out of a car to say he hates Russo more than anyone. Bret says he’s never forgotten Montreal and he wants to help bury Russo. Goldberg, like an idiot, agrees, and hands Bret a shovel. Bret blasts Goldberg in the back with said shovel and yells about Goldberg ending his career to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Vince Russo has lost his mind. Like, moreso than usual. This was one of those rare episodes where you sit in awe watching, not sure how to react to anything. I’m sitting here trying to come up with something to say about this show but between all those gimmick matches rolled up into one show and Russo playing the high school scream queen running away from Goldberg the slasher to THE ASSAULT IN THE DESERT (how did Hart know they were there?), I really have no idea how to talk about this.

The worst part though: this show ran unopposed. The night before, the WWF had Summerslam 2000 (Rock vs. HHH vs. Angle, Benoit vs. Jericho in a 2/3 falls match and the first ever TLC) but Raw was preempted by a dog show. Therefore, you had a hot wrestling audience with zero competition (Monday Night Football started in a week) and this is what WCW gave them.

Earlier tonight, I watched JBL interview the Road Dogg on the WWE Network. Russo was brought up with JBL mentioning the theory that Russo was sent to WCW to ruin the company. I’ve never bought that theory but if you watch a show like this, it’s really hard to believe that McMahon fought very hard to keep Russo. He had to know that Russo was insane and wanted to do stuff like this, but my goodness there was no way anyone knew it could be this bad. This is one of those shows you need to see for yourselves as it’s one of the biggest head trips that I’ve ever seen.

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Monday Nitro #254
Date: August 21, 2000
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Attendance: 5,211
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

Dang we’re flying through August. I’m not sure why but it feels like this month is going by faster than any has in months. Maybe I’m just talking about this because I don’t want to talk about what’s going on in WCW at the moment. We’re almost up to Fall Brawl and the main feud is still Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash. Let’s get to it.

Two notes before we get to the show. First of all, of the 5,200 people here, about 3,000 were comped. Second, there was a house show two nights before this show in Sioux City, Iowa. The show’s main event: Stevie Ray vs. Jeff Jarrett. I don’t know if that’s a regular main event for WCW at this point, but add it to the list of reasons this company is on its last legs.

We open with a recap of Russo’s shoot from last week where he wanted to fire Goldberg. Thankfully this turns into a video about Goldberg beating up a bunch of people instead. As in something people might want to watch.

Russo is on the phone with Scott Steiner, who he promises that tonight is the night. Jeff Jarrett comes in and says they need to get rid of Goldberg. Russo assures him that it’s going to work.

We see a clip of Team Canada being awesome on Thunder.

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Lieutenant Loco

Skipper is defending and Lance Storm is on commentary. Rection is outside as well and starts a USA chant to get things going. They start fast (likely due to having almost no time) with Loco uppercutting the champ into the corner. A belly to back suplex looks to set up an early frog splash but Lance breaks it up with a flag shot. Rection and Storm start brawling at ringside as Skipper brings in a chair, only to have it quickly taken away. That’s the point though as Elix slips on his Grey Cup ring to knock Loco out for the pin.

We cut to the back less than five seconds after the pin to see Goldberg arriving.

Russo is on the phone with Scott and asks if he’s ready. For some reason we cut to another camera shot of Steiner saying he’s ready. Why was that camera set up?

Here’s Russo with a bunch of security and something to say. Russo talks about wanting to get off TV but they keep pulling him back in. And wouldn’t you know it, they brought him right back into one of the show’s top stories. Right now his problem is Goldberg, who runs through the crowd to take out security. Since Russo is MANLY though, Goldberg isn’t allowed to touch him due to the contract.

Therefore, Russo has an offer Goldberg can’t refuse. He pulls out a release for Goldberg which will include full payment of his contract and he can show up next Monday anywhere he wants. The papers are quickly ripped up so Russo runs his mouth even more, talking about how Jarrett, Nash and Steiner all want a piece of Goldberg tonight. Russo brings up Goldberg’s girlfriend (Beth, though I doubt I’m going to remember that) and that’s enough for Goldberg to snap. Steiner pops up on screen and he breaks into a hotel room. We see Goldberg’s girlfriend freaking out so Goldberg runs off, naturally leaving Russo posing in the ring.

Wait we’re not done yet though as Booker T. comes out to deal with Russo. You know, because so many people want to. Booker wants Russo to tell Nash that he’ll be waiting all night for the big man. Russo is NO ONE’S delivery service though because Russo made Booker. Booker was at the bottom of WCW, where Russo thinks he should still be.

So wait, is this the real Russo or was it the real Russo when he said Booker deserved to be in the main event at Bash at the Beach? Or am I just stupid for trying to figure all this out? Anyway, Booker kicks him down and gets in an ax kick for one of the few times you’ll see Russo take a beating.

Goldberg rides off on his motorcycle.

Russo yells at the Natural Born Thrillers (now with shirts) and gives Palumbo the World Title shot if Nash isn’t here on time.

Corporal Cajun/Major Gunns vs. Paisley/Kwee Wee

So Papaya is officially gone. Paisley shoves Gunns off the apron to start and Gunns…stares. Ok then. The guys start (thank goodness) with Cajun getting two off a right hand. It’s off to Gunns for one off a middle rope sunset flip before tagging Cajun back in. Paisley comes in to stand in the corner so Cajun can catapult Kwee Wee into her. Everything breaks down and the women are of course horrible. Cajun launches Gunns off the middle rope into a cross body for the pin. The guys were watchable at best and they were definitely the better part. Oh and the wrong music plays when the Misfits win.

The losers beat down the winners post match.

Russo tells Steiner to be ready for Goldberg.

Here are Tank and 3 Count to sing Tank’s new song (including lyrics about tearing out your spleen and chewing on your bladder) but Tank thinks the band screwed up. Tank goes to leave but Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse come out to beat all four of them down. Vampiro says this is the Dark Carnival and says Juggalo Championship Wrestling is officially taking over. He holds up the JCW Title, which is somehow still around in 2016. Vampiro rants about politics and promises that he’s just getting started with Steve Borden. Tank gets back in to clear the ring out and wants a JCW Title match tonight.

Here are the Natural Born Thrillers (minus Palumbo, who is getting ready) for their debut promo. Sanders gets the mic (thank goodness) and talks about spending the last two years watching the A-list stars draw below average ratings. There’s a man at the Power Plant who has been treating them like like garbage. Sanders introduces the team and says Palumbo is going to be champion by the end of the night. Opportunity has been knocking and they’re going to give the kids someone to look up to, the men a reason to get into the gym and the women a fantasy for every night.

Cue the Filthy Animals (because Russo LOVES faction wars) with Konnan saying he thought Tank Abbott’s promos were bad. Konnan rants about them never paying any dues and having no experience in this sport. They’ve never held a title or worked at this a day in their life. Konnan’s verdict: they ain’t got it like that.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. Filthy Animals

Konnan is the odd man out and it’s O’Haire/Jindrak/Sanders in the ring. Stasiak and Konnan are on commentary (talking about Stasiak’s pet gorilla) as Rey fires off rights and lefts at Jindrak. Konnan says the Tag Team Titles are on the line here but for some reason I don’t think that’s accurate. A tilt-a-whirl slam takes Jindrak down as Konnan wants to know how Stasiak hurt his knee when he just stands in the corner and poses.

It’s off to Disqo for an elbow drop as I’m trying to figure out when the Animals turned face. Madden says this is better than watching a bunch of old guys, which Konnan refers to a traveling wax museum doing a legdrop a clothesline and posing. O’Haire and Sanders double team Disqo down to take over before it’s Jindrak coming in with a springboard clothesline. A quick Russian legsweep takes Mark down (Disqo was always totally watchable in the ring) and it’s off to Juvy with a springboard spinwheel kick.

Juvy takes Mark down with a middle rope hurricanrana and it’s time for Rey, who is quickly crotched to change control again. Konnan ribs on the Natural Born Thrillers name in a funny bit as Sanders launches Rey into an O’Haire powerslam for two. A sick Batista bomb gets two more on Rey with Disqo having to make the save.

Rey takes Mark down with a headscissors and the hot tag brings in Juvy to clean house. Disqo DDT’s Jindrak and it’s Bronco Busters all around. Tygress hits one of her own so Konnan can debut FACE FULL OF STUFF. Everything breaks down until it’s Sanders debuting the 3.0 (Randy Orton’s backbreaker) for the pin on Disqo.

Rating: B-. Probably high but I have to take what I can get on these shows. Above all else this got some time (a bit over eight minutes, an eternity on Nitro) and the match was able to go somewhere. Konnan was actually really good on commentary here and made me want to see the Animals win and was making me laugh at the same time. This is the kind of match that WCW needed to have a lot more of, but you would have to be crazy to think any of these guys were getting past the Tag Team Titles, which is where so many of WCW’s problems came from: the introduction was good but it never materialized.

We see Goldb….oh wait make sure to keep the camera on O’Haire hitting the Seanton bomb on Tygress. Ok we’ve got the violence on the woman in so now we can go to see Goldberg arrive at the hotel.

Tygress is helped to the back.

Palumbo is getting the shot tonight because Nash just isn’t here. Well at least they’re finally going somewhere with the “they’re always late” idea.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Chuck Palumbo

Booker is defending and oh sweet Russo is guest referee (naturally not even selling the beatdown from earlier). The champ works on a hammerlock to start and drops him with a quick Harlem side kick. A suplex drops Palumbo but Booker tweaks his knee again. Booker rolls him up for no count and yeah we’re doing this gem again. Palumbo gets in a shot for a very fast two and fires off some of those awesome right hands.

Booker’s sunset flip out of the corner gets Russo crawling around but stopping before one. A powerslam gets a fast near fall but Booker blasts him with a spinning forearm. The champ grabs a flapjack and Spinaroonis up, only to have the Thrillers hit the ring. Reno Rolls the Dice on Booker until Vito runs out with the stickball bat for the save. Now it’s Nash coming in with a chair to Booker’s head for a fast counted three from Booker.

Oh of course not as the Cat comes out to say Eric Bischoff made him the Commissioner and Russo is the writer. That means they’re equal (HUH?) so this match isn’t over. Wouldn’t that mean he’s overriding Russo which doesn’t work if they’re equal? The Thrillers are ejected and Booker is still officially champion because the match never ended. Booker wants to keep the match going so Cat appoints himself as referee. Good thing he had a referee shirt under his regular shirt (of course) as Russo takes over on commentary. Booker does his quick finishing sequence and retains with the Book End.

Rating: D. I lost track of what I was watching here. In other words, it’s another one of WCW’s major problems at this point: things going so fast that you can barely keep track of the match, let alone the show. It also brings up the question of why was Nash late, because apparently he arrived in between the start of the match and the four minute mark, which is quite the lucky timing. Anyway, Palumbo was trying but there was WAY too much going on to showcase anyone.

Goldberg is almost at the room! Seriously that’s how Tony put it.

Post break Goldberg gets in the ring and finds a note on the mirror saying they’re back at the arena. So it’s another movie episode.

JCW Title: Tank Abbott vs. Vampiro

Vampiro is defending and the Insane Clown Posse has taken over commentary, in whatever their over the top characters are of course. One of them dubs Tank “Pink Rabbit” and the other calls him “Hank Sandwich.” I’m not a fan of the Clowns but I remember their commentary being some of the funniest stuff I had ever heard. Vampiro kicks “Frank Rabbit’s” leg as the announcers try to figure out what Tank’s leg is made of. Tank punches the referee by mistake and then goes after Vampiro, drawing the Clowns into the ring. Muta comes in and mists Tank but 3 Count runs in for the save as this is thrown out.

Scott Steiner drags Goldberg’s girlfriend into the arena. As usual, women in a Russo promotion are helpless.

Russo gives Vito a match with Nash tonight.

Hardcore Title: Kronik vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley is the reluctant champion and asked for this match. Adams is in street clothes (I don’t want to see that street) so he sits in on commentary while Clark is left alone in the ring. Smiley, who wants to lose the title, starts swinging a kendo stick until Clark takes it away. I think you can figure out what’s going to happen next so I’ll let you put the pieces together yourself.

Clark kicks a trashcan into his face so Smiley goes outside and slaps Adams. That earns Norman a full nelson slam from Adams and the Meltdown from Clark as we’re just waiting on the Harris Twins. Adams goes to get a table (and finds smoke under the ring for some reason) before sitting back on commentary as the Twins come in and lay out Kronik with a chain. An H Bomb through a table retains Norman’s title, much to his chagrin.

Rating: F. It’s rare that a TV show gives me more than one match where I don’t know what to say but Russo has pulled it off. The match was just a backdrop for the comedy angle and another run-in to set up a match that almost no one wants to see. Kronik needed to get out of the tag division but the Harris Twins were the best opponents they could get? What did I do to get stuck with this?

Cat tells Lance Storm that Carl Oulette’s work visa has been denied so Storm is defending the US Title in a tag match against Mike Awesome and General Rection. Storm’s partner is a surprise. Oh dear.

Steiner tells Goldberg’s girlfriend that she’s a pawn.

Vito goes on a rant about how Russo isn’t his friend but tonight he’s going to fight the biggest guy in WCW.

Kevin Nash vs. Big Vito

Nash pounds him into the corner to start because Vito has been getting a very moderate push tonight so we need to crush him before it gets out of hand. There’s the boot choke but Vito escapes Snake Eyes and scores with the Mafia kick. A suplex and legdrop get two on Nash but he comes right back with a bit boot and side slam for two. Now Snake Eyes works and a chokeslam gets two. The straps go down and Nash scores with the Jackknife, only to have Booker come in (with his music playing for all of a second and a half) for the DQ.

Rating: D. As usual Nash doesn’t let anyone get in anything significant on him, though at least the Mafia kick got to make contact. You knew Vito wasn’t going to win here because he’s a main eventer though and Vito is in his early 30s. Nothing to see here as usual but at least Booker got in a shot on Nash.

Vito won’t get medical attention. I’m guessing that’s his rub.

US Title: Lance Storm/??? vs. General Rection/Mike Awesome

Storm is defending and whoever gets the pin gets the title. The Canadian flag comes out and Storm gets in some shots at the fans, only to be cut off by Jeff Jarrett’s music. Rection and Awesome get no music for reasons that aren’t clear. The production staff is way off tonight. Rection knocks Storm into the corner to start before dropping him with a gorilla press. Jeff is smart enough to kick Rection in the back, allowing Storm to nail a superkick to take over.

Jarrett breaks up a cover by Storm as the match is already getting too confusing. Rection misses a top rope elbow but Awesome tags himself in as everything breaks down. A big powerbomb puts Storm down with Jeff having to make a save, leaving Rection to hit No Laughing Matter on the champ. Cue Skipper to make a save of his own and Jeff adds a guitar shot to Mike (which might have been meant for Storm) to let Lance retain the title.

Rating: D. Another match with a bunch of stuff crammed into less than four minutes, meaning there was almost no way to catch everything. That just should not happen in a match this short, even if it was designed to set up a feud with Awesome vs. Jarrett and continue the Rection vs. Storm feud, which really isn’t of note anyway.

Steiner drags the girlfriend to the ring because she’s there to make men look dominant and powerful. Scott rants about how Goldberg started this before calling her a rather bad name for a woman as well as ugly. Goldberg slowly walks out until Jarrett hits him in the back with a chair. The villains double team Goldberg as the girlfriend watches in fear. Booker tries to make a save but Nash comes in. Goldberg fights back until Rick Steiner runs out with a pipe to put Goldberg down. They handcuff him in the corner and Steiner puts the girlfriend in the Recliner right in front of Goldberg to end the show (two minutes before the hour).

Overall Rating: D-. It takes a lot to make me uncomfortable watching wrestling. When you’ve been watching for nearly thirty years, you really do think you’ve seen everything. However, the way Russo books women on his shows are actually making me cringe. From what I can count, the following women were on this show: Beth, Major Gunns, Paisley and Tygress. Here’s what happened to them:

Major Gunns – Nothing

Tygress – Seanton bomb

Paisley – Splashed by Kwee Wee

Beth – Kidnapped, called an ugly b**** and put in the Steiner Recliner

Keep in mind that Goldberg vs. Steiner is happening because Goldberg (at least off camera) put Midajah through a table. Assuming you believe the plans that were only abandoned because the company went under, Russo was going to get to be announced as the father of Miss Hancock’s baby (no word on whether it would have been consensual).

Watching these shows is like some weird therapy as Russo tries to work out his horrible issues with women. On these shows, women are regularly beaten up, treated like garbage, jump from one man to another (Paisley), breaking a man’s heart because she doesn’t get that he’s crazy about her (Crowbar), or put in mud matches. This stuff keeps happening and it’s getting more and more disturbing to watch almost every single week.

Other than that though, this show was your usual borderline disaster with the stories feeling more like a straight to video movie and the wrestling ranging from not bad to barely worth the time. The baseline problem of this show continues to be having too much going on, leaving little time to actually build anything up. The Thrillers are a nice idea but there’s no reason to believe they’re going anywhere long term. It’s fine to see them get pushed though, even it it means nothing. Bad show overall, even with the talent trying its hardest to shine through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: August 16, 2000
Location: Riverside Coliseum, Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 3,264
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray

With New Blood Rising out of the way, it’s time to crank up the horrible again as this past Monday went insane all over again. We’re building towards a double main event at Fall Brawl with Kevin Nash vs. Booker T. for the World Title and Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner in a battle of the monsters. Let’s get to it.

Kevin Nash is in the back when Rick Steiner comes up to argue about who should be the #1 contender. The solution: Nash vs. Steiner tonight. If Steiner wins, his brother gets the title shot. Well at least they’re not jobbing Scott again.

Team Canada arrives, minus Jacques Rougeau (allegedly over not wanting to do a job). Cat comes up to say it’s going to be Team Canada vs. three Americans. Can one of them please not be the Cat?

Kronik vs. Juggernaut/Ladies’ Choice/Michelle Starr/Rockford 2000

Jobbers of course and Kronik promises to beat them in less than two minutes. I don’t think this requires too much of an explanation as it’s total destruction with Clark taking them to the floor and powerbombing one onto the bodies of the other two. The full nelson slam and High Time pins Juggernaut in a hurry.

Post match the Harris Twins appear on the screen with a challenge before riding away on their bikes.

Mark Madden and Gene Okerlund are getting ready in the back. Yes they’re actually doing this.

Disqo can’t convince the Filthy Animals to let Mike Sanders join. He’d be better at talking than any of them so I don’t see their objection.

Vampiro yells at Muta and throws an ax.

Here’s David Flair to call out Miss Hancock. After a lot of lame lines about how amazing she is, David drops to a knee to propose. Before he can get the question out though, here’s MIA for no apparent reason to destroy him. Wall chokeslams him a few times before the team leaves. Hancock, ever the nice person, yells at David for screwing this up too and leaves, only to stop to dance a bit. Ok then.

The MIA says no one touches Major Gunns like David did on Monday. Tonight they’re going to war with Team Canada and Rection promises to bring the US Title back to America.

Crowbar and Daffney saw what happened to David but Daffney says she’s over him. This gives Crowbar hope but a guy comes up with candy and flowers for her from the secret admirer. She continues to be oblivious to Crowbar’s feelings for her. Given that Russo is writing, can we set a timer before Crowbar snaps and beats her up?

Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

I don’t think the titles are on the line here. Sanders is with the Animals here, or “Above Mike Average” according to Tony. Disqo lets Mike talk for a bit and gets a glare from Konnan. Juvy pounds on Jindrak in the corner to start but he gets caught in the wrong corner. On commentary, Konnan says any combination of the Animals can defend the titles. It’s quickly off to Mysterio vs. O’Haire with Rey charging into a powerslam as Tygress makes it a five person commentary booth.

Everything breaks down and Juvy uses Rey as a springboard to take Jindrak down and a bulldog does the same. Back up and Sean sends Rey in for a tilt-a-whirl side slam, followed by a backdrop to send Juvy outside. There’s the Seanton bomb to Rey and Sanders turns on Konnan (shocking), allowing Palumbo (no Stasiak) and Reno to come in and beat on the Animals for the DQ.

Rating: C-. The match was fine until the obvious and nonsensical ending. Was there any reason to have Sanders out there with the Animals in the first place if he was just going to turn on them a few minutes later? It was actually working because you had talented guys having a match but of course that wasn’t going to last around this time.

Okerlund asks Norman Smiley for help but Smiley is too busy trying to get out of the hardcore division. With no help coming, Gene thinks about doing a hurricanrana.

Tank Abbott is annoyed at 3 Count and tells them to get back to the studio to fix the new song. 3 Count doesn’t seem pleased but are you going to argue with Tank?

Demon vs. Great Muta

No Vampiro anywhere in sight to start. Muta fires off some kicks but charges into a boot in the corner. Demon slowly beats on Muta with his really lame offense, including a snapmare and suplex for two. Thankfully Muta, who is more uninterested here than horrible, comes back with his kicks and starts working on the knee. Cue Vampiro to make sure this doesn’t get interesting as Demon makes his comeback. Vampiro throws Muta a kendo stick, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind, to beat Demon down again. The dragon screw leg whip is broken up by an enziguri, only to have the green mist set up Muta’s moonsault for the quick pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as this story continues to bore everyone half to death. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Vampiro, Demon and Muta having these random matches against each other while Vampiro tries to be a less talented (and shorter) Undertaker. Another dull match though with Muta just going through the motions, though can you blame him?

Post match Demon gets beaten down some more and Vampiro promises to destroy Sting.

Someone knocks on Rick Steiner’s door but there’s no one there.

Madden insults Pamela and promises to beat up her sugar daddy tonight. Who knew Gene was loaded?

Misfits in Action vs. Team Canada

Rection/Loco/Cajun here. The fans go off on the Misfits for interrupting the Canadian national anthem which is still odd to see. Skipper can’t keep up with Cajun to start and gets caught in a quick suplex so it’s off to Loco and Carl (with his hard to spell last name, though apparently he’s now known as the Rage). A headscissors staggers Carl so he grabs Loco and hits one heck of a chokeslam to knock him silly.

It’s off to Skipper for a suplex before handing it to Storm for a great looking dropkick. Loco finally gets in a DDT to Storm and makes the hot tag off to Rection. Everything breaks down as Rection cleans house, including No Laughing Matter on Carl, only to have Skipper nail him with the Cruiserweight Title. Storm grabs the Maple Leaf to make Rection tap.

Rating: D+. Quick and mostly inoffensive here but there really isn’t much to see. Team Canada winning in Canada was the only option but the Misfits really aren’t the most interesting team in the world. Does anyone remember why they started in the first place at this point? Now they’re just a military themed midcard stable which has been done so many times before.

Post match Cat comes out and makes himself vs. Storm with the US Title and commissionership on the line.

US Title: The Cat vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending so Cat elbows him in the face to start, only to dance too much and get caught in a sunset flip. A jawbreaker and shoulder (with Storm landing on his feet) drop Cat but he pops up with the Feliner. The referee takes his sweet time counting though, likely meaning Carl was late running to the ring with the Canadian flag for the DQ.

Cat promises vengeance on Nitro.

Rick Steiner yells at Pamela (why do people hate her so much?) and a piece of the set falls on him. Scott Steiner comes in to yell at people.

Mark Madden vs. Gene Okerlund

Let’s get this over with. Madden is in a Steelers jersey and says when he kills Okerlund, every coroner on the planet will swear it was old age. Gene is in what looks like a local hockey jersey, a Canada hat and sunglasses. They make it a street fight just because. Before the match, we have a posedown with Madden teasing taking his shirt off. A single forearm drops Mark but he comes back with a few chokes.

Cue Smiley but Carl (WAY too much of him tonight) cuts him off. This brings out Vito to fight Carl as Gene gives Madden a right hand for the most awkward two count of all time. Madden loads up a Vader Bomb but here’s Pamela to hit him low and give Gene the pin. Too short to rate but they kept this goofy enough to prevent this from being horrible.

Pamela kisses Gene during the celebration.

Here’s your weekly sitdown interview, this time with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff talks about wrestling being ahead of the curve for years and they’re right in the middle of that at the moment. He sees the problem as people learning to wrestle in six months at the Power Plant and then showing up on Nitro without learning how this business works. Quite true actually. The fans are the only ones that can change that but Jeff goes into a discussion of wrestlers who want it because they’ll put in the effort to learn every time they’re in the ring.

As for leaving the WWF, Jeff hasn’t looked back and knows it was the right decision. Jeff thinks WCW is starting to get it, even though they’re down right now. Tony brings up the New Blood Rising match and calls it the match of the year. Jeff doesn’t agree (good) and thinks he could have done better. The match was good and he respects Booker T., who should be a model of what wrestlers should be. Jeff wants to bring the workrate up in WCW but backstage issues have been causing them a lot of problems. Imagine what could happen if they kept going in the right direction.

This interview, while far less infuriating because Jeff was absolutely right on a lot of things he was saying, continues the trend of having no real point. Jarrett was out of character here, which probably confused most of the fans watching this. It made sense to me because I got what was going on, but most fans would have been wondering why he was so nonchalant about losing to Booker and wasn’t threatening Tony with a guitar.

In other words, these things continue to only entertain people who already know what Jarrett or others are talking about and really offer little to the masses. Hence why it’s longer than any match on the show, because that’s what these shows exist for: to entertain everyone other than the viewers at home.

Kidman tells Vito that he’ll have his back against Carl tonight. Apparently Vito vs. Reno is family business.

Big Vito vs. Carl Ouellet

Carl jumps him to start and gets in a quick slam, only to miss a middle rope legdrop. Vito hits his own legdrop, followed by a top rope elbow (still looks pretty good) for two. Back up and Carl grabs a powerslam but his top rope splash hits knees. A middle rope headbutt gets two more for Vito as they’re moving far better than you would expect here. They chop it out until Vito knees him in the ribs, setting up the inverted DDT for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Much better than I was expecting here, even though I really didn’t need to see Carl involved in three different matches tonight. Vito isn’t ever going anywhere with his generic Italian character but he does seem to actually be working hard with it. Ouellet on the other hand needs to get out of here already as he’s just not that good.

Post match Reno comes in and Rolls the Dice on Vito, only to have Kidman come out and dropkick a chair into Reno’s face. Palumbo, O’Haire, Jindrak and Sanders run in and eventually lay Kidman out, only to have the Filthy Animals run in for the save. Storm and Skipper come in but are held off, only to have Mike Awesome run out to clear the villains away.

Rick Steiner is being taken away in an ambulance, apparently due to being hit with a pipe by Goldberg. Glad to know we didn’t have time to see that.

Here’s Kevin Nash for his weekly non-match. Hall isn’t here because they were out having a good time last night and he’s not recovered yet. So Scott is just traveling around the world, following WCW wherever they go? That’s rather sad. Nash isn’t going to bother calling out Goldberg tonight because he knows Bill is scared of him. That brings him to Booker, who he’ll take the title from at Fall Brawl. Cue Booker to disagree, even though he respects Nash. They’ll give the people what they want at Fall Brawl but Nash promises not to go after Booker tonight. They shake hands and Nash lays Booker out with the usual to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was actually one of the better Thunders in a good while despite the show just being there. Nothing on this show really mattered and they’re just kind of meandering towards Fall Brawl with no real direction. Now that being said, I’ll take a lame show over the horrible Nitros they’ve been airing anytime. Nothing on here was so bad that I didn’t want to keep watching (Madden vs. Okerlund was short and it involved Pamela) and there was very little shooting (angle wise at least) to mess it up. Somehow this passes for better in WCW these days though, which is just sad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #253
Date: August 14, 2000
Location: Skyreach Place, Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’ve gotten through New Blood Rising and now it’s time to get ready for another of WCW’s grand pay per views in Fall Brawl. Booker T. is still World Champion and now gets to defend against Kevin Nash, who survived the totally real triple threat last night. I’m not sure why but I have a feeling this show is going to be bad. Let’s get to it.

We open with Russo and Tank Abbott in the ring with Vince in full on heel mode, ranting about getting rid of someone a month ago. That piece of censored has been gone ever since and now Russo is going to make another example out of another piece of censored on live TV. Russo is here tonight to fire Goldberg on live TV.

However, Brad Siegel won’t let him do that because the fans love him. Well screw the fans and screw Goldberg. Hudson: “He doesn’t need the practice.” Tank is here to beat Goldberg up once and for all and Russo yells at some more fans. Apparently Goldberg doesn’t know the script or the storyline because he doesn’t come out. Since no one comes out, Russo tells production to go to a break. Good grief. I mean….good grief man. This is how they open the show? That’s their best idea?

We come back with a camera on the announcers and Russo demanding that they show the clip. That sends up to a video of Goldberg coming out to fight Tank during the break. Wait or is this live? Goldberg easily gets the better of it and threatens to break Tank’s arm as Russo freaks out AGAIN and demands that we go to a second break inside of twelve minutes.

Apparently Russo has booked Nash vs. Steiner tonight because last night’s match didn’t count. Again I say: whatever. Oh and Booker vs. Jarrett again.

Shane Douglas/Reno vs. Big Vito/Kidman

Before the match, Shane promises to hurt Kidman again. It’s a brawl to start of course with all four fighting on the floor and Madden freaking out over the chance of someone attacking the table. Vito easily fights out of a double team because Reno and Shane aren’t the best fighters in the world. Kidman finally stops chasing Torrie around and cross bodies both of them down. As usual we have no tagging as Vito clotheslines Shane out to the floor. Kidman gets crotched on top but Vito is able to drop a top rope elbow for the pin on Reno.

Rating: D. Total mess here as is almost the case when WCW tries to put together a match. The idea of having two feuds put together into one match is usually a good idea but the Shane vs. Kidman feud is getting tiresome and Reno vs. Vito isn’t really a feud yet. It might be nice if we were told why they were fighting in the first place but I doubt WCW knows yet.

Shane pulls out some handcuffs but gets tied to the turnbuckle for his efforts. This brings out Jindrak, O’Haire and the Perfect Event to beat down Kidman and Vito. Reno leaves with them.

The Filthy Animals want to keep up their relationship with the Cat and offer him a personal assistant named Miss Jones. I think you get the implication here.

David Flair is still covered in mud from last night. Major Gunns comes up to ask if Miss Hancock is ok but David just walks away without saying anything.

We look back at the mud match from last night as David is in the ring. He rambles about what happened last night and how scared he is. Gunns is freaking out in the back while the Misfits play cards. As David keeps going on about being scared, Gunns comes out crying, saying it’s her fault because she kicked Hancock in the stomach. David really should know that already shouldn’t he? He yells at Gunns a lot until Hancock comes out, apparently just fine after last night. Again, shouldn’t David know that Hancock is here and fine? Hancock of course says she’s pregnant and Davis is so thrilled that he struts.

Here’s Lance Storm for a match but first up he gets to address his home country. Storm says it’s good to be home and wrestling in front of some real wrestling fans. WCW has thrown people at him left and right but he keeps making them tap out to the Maple Leaf. Cue the Cat to insult the Canadian fans quite a bit. It seems that a lot of the people in WCW really don’t like Canada. Cat rips on Storm for using the Canadian rule book last night and grants Mike Awesome a rematch tonight with himself as guest referee.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending and Cat is referee in the first rematch from last night. Awesome charges to the ring and gets dropkicked down in the first ten seconds for a very delayed two count. A splash gets two for Mike as the fans are all over the USA. Mike drops a slingshot splash to the back for two more as this is one of the most all over the places face/heel dynamic I’ve ever seen. Storm dropkicks him down again but stops to argue with Cat, allowing Awesome to grab a German suplex.

The Awesome bomb plants Storm but Jacques Rougeau comes in to attack Cat. Mike goes to beat him up too but Carl Ouellet, as in Quebecer Pierre, comes in to double team Awesome. The Cannonball (their old team finisher) sets up the Maple Leaf. Cat gets back up but here’s Elix Skipper of all people comes out and lays him out. Ouellet grabs Mike’s unconscious hand to make him tap out with Rougeau calling for the bell.

Rating: D. So the people who are usually heels cheated to beat the cheating faces who are acting as heels with the help of a bunch of guys who may or may not be Canadian after cheating like crazy to face reactions last night. All this happened during a mostly lame match which featured a newly formed heel stable. You can add Storm to the list of things completely overbooked in Russo’s world.

Post break Storm officially forms Team Canada and hands Ouellet the Hardcore Title. Skipper gets the Cruiserweight Title, which is actually a clever way to get the titles off Storm without jobbing him (again). Cat runs in with a ball bat and says the new champions are defending their titles tonight.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending in another rematch from last night despite there being no real reason for Jarrett to get another title shot. No hype or anything here of course, making it feel less important than a house show main event. Booker starts fast with a clothesline but Jeff kicks him low to break up a sleeper. Jeff’s high cross body is rolled through for two, only to have him kick Booker right in the face.

We hit the chinlock on the champ for a bit before the clotheslines have Jeff in trouble. Booker’s side kick doesn’t hurt the knee (not a factor so far) so he picks up the guitar, only to hit the referee by mistake. Here’s another referee so Booker can hit the ax kick but Jeff hits him in the knee. The Stroke knocks Booker silly but here’s Goldberg to go after Jeff for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Well done on making the champion look like a loser in a match that didn’t mean anything because it didn’t need to be here on a nothing show. This could have been anyone against Jeff, or at least could have come later in the show after a few quick promos from both guys. Why do that though when you can fly through it as fast as you can?

Goldberg says that’s one down and two to go, implying Russo and……who actually?

Scott Steiner literally puts his finger in Pamela’s mouth and threatens to destroy Goldberg tonight.

Hardcore Title: Carl Ouellet vs. Norman Smiley

Carl is defending and Norman wants nothing to do with hardcore anymore. They quickly head outside with Ouellet doing as much stuff as you can do in a hardcore match. Hudson actually tries to keep track of the hardcore rules as Norman stops Carl from setting up a table. Tony one ups him by bringing up Storm’s hardcore rules from last week.

A trashcan to the head puts Norman down again and the table is set up in the corner. Norman’s comeback is quickly stopped as the announcers actually suggest that Goldberg might come out during this match. That’s so stupid I can’t even make fun of it. The table is pulled out of the corner but Norman avoids the cannonball and falls on Carl for the pin and the title.

Rating: F+. Well so much for the false hope of Norman having something new. Instead we now get to see him as the reluctant champion because it’s going to lead to comedy. Heaven forbid someone talented and over gets to move on to something important because he can still get to do something “funny” instead. At least Carl, who looked like he was in sweats sitting around the house, didn’t keep the title that long.

Nash says there’s no second chance for Steiner until Scott Hall gets his second chance.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Dark Carnival

Muta and Vampiro are defending after winning the titles in an impromptu match last night. Konnan challenges Kronik for no apparent reason so here they are to do commentary. Great now we can almost guarantee a Harris Brothers appearance. It’s Juvy and Rey challenging for the titles here. The Twins jump Kronik during the champs’ entrance so we lose commentary.

Rey gets beaten down to start as the Animals take Kronik’s place, allowing Konnan to ramble on about Mexican strategy. Muta kicks Rey into the corner before it’s back to Vampiro so we can keep things dull. A Muta cheap shot stops Rey’s comeback bid and it’s Disqo trying to fire him up. They head outside with Rey staying in trouble until Vampiro kicks Muta by mistake.

The hot tag brings in Juvy to clean house as everything breaks down. Juvy gets misted and there’s the dragon screw legwhip to put him down. We’re not done with the interference though as Sting comes out (Tony to Konnan: “Was this part of your strategy?” Konnan: “Let’s see if it works and then I’ll tell you.”) and destroys Vampiro and Muta, allowing Disqo to put Juvy on Muta for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was actually one of the better matches tonight until the screwy finish. That’s the story of the night: something that could be interesting is ruined by whatever overbooked nonsense that Russo has for us. At least it might mean we’re done with Vampiro and Muta as anything important, at least for the time being. That being said, was there any reason to not have the Animals win the titles last night and cut out a bunch of extra stuff?

Post break Demon wants Sting in a four corners match along with Muta and Vampiro. Cat: “Aren’t you supposed to say trick or treat?”

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Kwee Wee

Skipper is defending and grabs some early rollups for two as Madden promises to deal with Gene Okerlund later tonight. Kwee Wee grabs a nice belly to back and stomps away as he’s already going angry. A suplex into the corner sends Skipper back first into the buckle (that looked good) but he’s still able to sidestep a charge and send Kwee Wee crashing out to the floor. Hudson makes sex jokes about Madden as Skipper does the Matrix move to a big reaction.

The champ gets two each off a dragon suplex and a middle rope cross body as the fans are way into Skipper here. Kwee Wee tries a suplex but Skipper kicks his feet to fall backwards, rolling into a DDT. With the referee conveniently looking away, Skipper loads up a ring, only to get caught in a Blue Thunder bomb for two. Elix finally gets in a ring shot to knock Kwee Wee cold and retain the title.

Rating: B-. Well that was a surprise. Sometimes you find a pairing that just has a good match and that’s exactly what you got here. Kwee Wee is much more character than anything else but at least he had one good match to his name here. Skipper is a great option as a high flier, especially after the division has completely died in the last few months. Match of the night by far here.

Post match Kwee Wee beats up the referee before settling back down into his normal self.

Sting vs. Demon vs. Vampiro vs. Great Muta

Officially a four corners match. During the entrances, Madden issues a challenge to Okerlund for a one on one match. Vampiro and Muta wait on the apron to start as Sting beats on the Demon. Sting takes Demon down so the other two come in with Vampiro stomping the mat, only to have Sting actually sell it. As in there was at least a foot between Vampiro and Sting but he sold it anyway. Sting fights back, gives Muta a Stinger splash and puts on the Deathlock. Demon offers to make the save but hits Vampiro with a kendo stick instead, leaving Muta no choice but to tap. Nothing match but it was more shenanigans.

Vampiro cleans house with the stick and take Sting away.

Post break Vampiro is about to stab Sting because we haven’t ripped off Undertaker’s embalming stuff yet.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

This is yet another rematch but Nash brings out something in a box. We’ve got less than five minutes to go in the show as Nash grabs a mic. He’s seen a lot of Scott Hall signs around here lately and stops for a mostly non-existent Hall chant. Everywhere he goes, Nash has been asked what Hall is up to.

That brings him to the box, which contains a Hall cardboard cutout which says “hey yo.” Nash makes fun of it for wearing an NWO shirt and does a survey about wanting Hall back. Enough of that though as it’s time to call out Booker T. Cue the champ but Steiner runs out and blasts Booker with a pipe. Goldberg pops up on screen, holding Midajah by the hair. He loads her up for a Jackhammer through a table but the screen cuts off. Steiner runs to the back to find Midajah through the table to end the show in another bait and switch.

Overall Rating: F+. So we had a bunch of nothing matches, five title matches, four title changes (two of which actually took place in a match), the setup for Goldberg vs. Steiner and a big SHOOT out to open the show. This was another week with way too much going on because the idea of just letting stories advance as they would naturally is unthinkable around here. I’m running out of names to call the same Russo problems here and I have a feeling that’s going to become an even bigger problems as we get to even dumber stuff.

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Monday Nitro #250
Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

The shows have been a lot better lately but you know the bad has to be coming at some point. In this case the big story has been Scott Steiner going insane, along with the return of Kevin Nash. New Blood Rising is coming soon enough and I’m sure you’ve all heard of the reputation that show has attained. Let’s get to it.

No recap from last week this time as it’s Lance Storm kicking things off. We get O Canada with the Canadian flag being lowered above the ring. Storm gets in a few jabs at America for being weak and promises to defeat Mike Awesome again at New Blood Rising. He needs to be at his best for that match so let’s have a warmup right now. This brings out Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who I guess is now a face. Vito wants a fight but Storm wants to make it title vs. title. Terms accepted and Storm hits him before the bell.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito

Storm takes over to start but Vito grabs a Japanese armdrag and clotheslines Lance down. We get the cone between Storm’s legs and it’s already table time. Vito takes too long though and gets superplexed for two as Madden continues to cheer for Storm. A quick arm trap suplex (and a good looking one too) sends Storm flying and Vito’s top rope elbow gets two. The implant DDT (not jumping Tony) gets a delayed two, which is even more impressive when you consider Vito just grabbed the leg and wasn’t over Storm’s chest. They trade superkicks but Storm grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission and both titles.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here as Vito is totally fine when you have someone there to walk him through everything. Storm being a double champion is interesting and it’s a good sign to see someone showing up and getting pushed to some early gold. Also, how nice is it to start with a match instead of a bunch of talking?

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He thanks the fans for having his back because without them, he wouldn’t be the World Champion. Booker is tired of hearing about Jeff Jarrett running around in the back talking about how he should be the champ, so at New Blood Rising, he’s taking Jarrett to school. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. I still don’t really get how that applies to most of his promos.

Instead of Jarrett, here’s Goldberg to a big face pop because it was really stupid to turn him heel. Last week Booker put his hands on him (it was his foot actually) so tonight, Booker is next. Booker says it’s on so here’s the Cat. It’s not so simple as just handing the title shot to Goldberg, because we’re going to put the vote up to the fans, who can go to WCW.com and vote for Goldberg or Sting. Goldberg lays out the Cat but Booker makes the save, drawing out security. In case you didn’t know who WCW wanted in the title match of course. Cat promises that he owes Goldberg some payback now.

We go to the commentary table, where Mark Madden is billed as “TV’s Best Looking Man.” Kidman is here for some reason and he’s one of TEN options to face Booker for the title tonight. Here are the options:

Goldberg

Sting

Billy Kidman

Lance Storm

Mike Awesome

Positively Kanyon

Buff Bagwell

Shane Douglas

Stevie Ray

Vampiro

Miss Hancock/David Flair vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns

Kidman is on commentary for no apparent reason and has a birthday present for Torrie Wilson: a sex tape of the two of them together. Why he’s here during this match isn’t clear but he promises to play the tape later tonight. The guys start as the announcers change the rules of the ROTC match by making it a Boot Camp match in the mud. I don’t even want to know how that is supposed to work. Hancock slides in a chair so Gunns chases her around the ring as Loco stomps Flair down in the corner. Everything breaks down and Hancock cross bodies David by mistake. A lot of yelling allows Gunns to roll her up for the pin.

Gunns loads up mouth to mouth on Loco but David pulls her away so Hancock can rip off Gunns’ top. Loco gets up to make the save.

Jarrett comes in to Cat’s office and demands that he get his title shot tonight. Cat tells him to get out so Jeff knocks stuff off the desk. Jeff gets a title shot but against Kronik.

Sting, still under a mask, says it’s really him (and it certainly sounds like him). He doesn’t care what the booking committee says because the mask is coming off tonight. Dang it Sting you’re better than that.

Goldberg is sure the fans will pick him but if not, their pick is leaving in a body bag.

Brian Adams is ready to go to the ring but a thud is heard and Brian Clark is found with a guitar broken over his head.

Tag Team Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kronik

Jarrett is challenging and is out here very quickly if he was the one to hit Clark. In other words, this is a singles match for the Tag Team Titles, at least to start. Tony: “We’re going to see action.” Madden: “No. We’re going to see Torrie Wilson DOING IT DOING IT DOING IT!” Jarrett goes right after him to start but Adams punches him down with ease. A very fast piledriver gets two on Jeff but they’re quickly to the floor where Adams is sent into the steps.

Back in and Jeff keeps control by poking an eye (I miss that so much) and gets two off a faceplant. The full nelson slam plants Jeff but Adams opts for a big boot and legdrop (Madden: “That move never wins!”) for two instead. Adams goes after the referee for no apparent reason, allowing Jarrett to poke him in the throat with the guitar.

That’s only good for two though and Adams gets the same off a gorilla press into a gutbuster. Cue Clark with a broken guitar to lay out Jarrett, followed by the Meltdown. Clark isn’t done though as he wants High Times through the table. The referee says no so he takes it instead, drawing the no contest/DQ, whichever it is when the referee is out cold.

Rating: D. Yeah imagine that: Jeff Jarrett vs. Crush isn’t the best match in the world. I thought they were going somewhere with the mystery attacker on Jarrett unless they’re going to pull something else later tonight. I’m not sure what the point was in having Jarrett get back out there so quickly but the match didn’t work. Thankfully they didn’t change the titles though.

Vampiro surprises Cat in his office and wants to take out Great Muta. They’ll do it together because Cat is a ninja.

Torrie admits that the tape is real.

We get an update on the poll: Sting has 35%, Goldberg has 30% and Vampiro is the only other person in double figures with 10%.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta

Cat is referee after Muta sprayed mist in his eyes on Thunder. Vampiro kicks the Cat down so Cat beats up the Insane Clown Posse. Muta kicks Cat and we’ve got a heel stable. Demon runs out and helps in the beating. The Cat fights up and beats up the Clowns because no one can look bad in this company.

Booker promises he’ll retain.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. ???

The challenger is…….Sting. Well in theory at least as Goldberg jumps Sting in the aisle and gives him the Bret Killer kick. Sting is stretchered out and Goldberg says he wants the shot. Booker is in and gets taken down by an early clothesline and World’s Strongest Slam. The champ bails outside and gets kicked in the face again, followed by a ram into the steps to bust him open. A cross armbreaker sends Booker bailing to the ropes but here’s Stevie Ray to throw in the towel. Goldberg throws it out before the referee sees it so Cat comes out and says Goldberg gets the win. The title doesn’t change though since Goldberg didn’t beat him.

So Goldberg just destroyed Sting in ten seconds and squashed the World Champion in three minutes. No he didn’t give up or get pinned, but this was totally one sided with Goldberg not giving up a thing. Booker is still champion because he didn’t give up, but he looks like the biggest lame duck in history. Well done WCW. It only took that much to get GOLDBERG over again. Oh and well done again on dangling a carrot in front of the fans with the poll and then saying HA! We still get what we want! Why do the poll then?

Post break Booker tells Cat to restart the match or he’s out of the company. Cat actually agrees.

Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon

Buff has his mom with him AGAIN. Why do you think this is a good idea? Even Mark Madden (now saying “sex tape” in almost every sentence) thinks it’s stupid to keep doing this. No Kanyon for some reason so Judy swears about wanting him to come out here. Buff declares himself the winner but the cameraman jumps him, revealing himself as Kanyon in a good looking wig. No match, again.

Buff fights him off at first but walks into a Kanyon Cutter. Kanyon chases Judy to the back (she’s not as fast as you would think) and throws her in the back of a car before driving away.

Post break, Bagwell gives chase.

Kidman brags about the tape again.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Before the match, Shane says he and Torrie (Looking great again this week. Like better than she usually does.) are used to the finer things in life so they’re getting out of this town as fast as possible. Mike brings three of his women with him to even things out. I’m not sure how the math works on that but most of WCW doesn’t work at this point. Mike clotheslines him a few times to start and goes to the top for a springboard shoulder out to the floor. Madden: “Break out the Oreos girls! Mike wants to party down!”

Torrie rakes the eyes to give Shane a breather and we hit the neck crank because Shane is already out of offense I guess. It doesn’t last long Awesome fights back and hits the splash (not the Awesome splash but just a splash from Awesome) for two. Now he loads up the Awesome splash (which is also a splash from Awesome) but Torrie grabs the leg, allowing Shane to get in some chain shots to the ribs. He loads up something off the top but it’s time for the sex tape on the big screen. In the distraction, Awesome hits him with a weight (where did he get that?) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Weights, Oreos, Mike’s gimmick and a sex tape. How did we get from Shane Douglas to Mike Awesome to all those things in a single match? This would be another good example of the entertainment (allegedly) overtaking the wrestling (which wasn’t the best in the first place) and neither working.

Kidman comes out with a pair of Torrie’s underwear.

Shane attacks a production guy over the tape.

Here’s Kidman again (third time tonight) to say he made copies of the tape. We cut to the back where various people are watching. The Jung Dragons are having a really good time. Hudson: “I guarantee you they’re not watching Starrcade.” We cut to the truck where Shane promises to kill Kidman when he gets his hands on him. As in the Kidman currently in the ring. Speaking of Kidman, he throws the underwear to the crowd.

And now, Caged Heat is lowered. The build for this earlier in the night: Tony mentioning the cage was above the ring.

Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Filthy Animals vs. Perfect Event vs. Corporal Cajun/General Rection

Remember that this is inside Caged Heat (Hell in a Cell). The idea here is you have to escape the cage but it’s under elimination (I guess?) rules and the last team left in the cage is not in the four way match at New Blood Rising. Let me repeat that: it’s a four team elimination Hell in a Cell match to qualify for another four way Tag Team Title match with only one of them actually not qualifying. Normally I would make a joke here but I think this writes itself.

Palumbo goes for the door to start as Konnan talks about avocados. The Misfits clear out the ring, which would seem to put everyone else on the advantage wouldn’t it? Everyone brawls on the floor with the cameras all in extreme closeups, meaning you can only see a few people at a time. Mysterio and Juvy throw Jindrak and O’Haire out, sending Jindrak and O’Haire to New Blood Rising.

Perfect Event gets away and walks out, finally leaving us with a match that I can keep track of. Juvy breaks up No Laughing Matter so Rey can hit the Bronco Buster….as Perfect Event locks the cage. Never fear though as Konnan just happens to have bolt cutters. Does this surprise anyone? Cue Disco on top of the cage to try and break in, allowing Juvy and Rey to pull out a ladder.

The speculation is that the Animals were in cahoots with the Perfect Event……which makes no sense as the Perfect Event could have just let them out the door when they had the advantage but whatever. This also ignores the BOLT CUTTERS that could have let the Animals get out since they had the advantage. Rey and Juvy dive off the ladder instead of climbing out, only to have the Misfits get up almost immediately.

Rection and Mysterio get on the roof as Juvy and Cajun go through the door at the same time. Tony: “I think Juvy went out first so MIA won it.” Even the announcers have no idea how the rules work. Tony: “Does being on the roof count as being out? We’re completely lost.” Now Konnan sets up a table at ringside as Disco helps beat up Rey on the roof.

Cajun gets Juvy on the table as Rection teases an elbow off the cage, only to have Rey break it up. Konnan and Juvy throw Cajun through the table and the other two get back inside. Rey tries to drop off the roof into a hurricanrana but Rection catches him in a powerbomb and leaves for the win. Well co-win.

Rating: R. For Rube Goldberg Machine. I don’t remember the last time I saw something so complicated for the sake of such an easy task as “get the Filthy Animals out of the pay per view match”. This came out of nowhere and was such a mess that the announcers had no idea what was going on.

I mean……wow. They threw out a huge gimmick match with no warning, no story, no reason for this to be happening, a goal that is far easier to accomplish and a plan that has absolutely no logic behind it. This is also the longest match on the show tonight and the World Title match (as in the second one tonight, in theory at least) is going on with less than six minutes to go in the show, including entrances.

We immediately cut to Booker telling Stevie he has to do this.

With five and a half minutes to go in the show, we need to see Stevie asking Goldberg to not do this and get thrown through a window for his efforts.

Oh and then a replay.

Stevie is loaded into an ambulance with Booker by his side.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Goldberg

Booker is defending for the second time tonight. Goldberg gets the full backstage entrance but thankfully Booker charges down the aisle to jump him from behind, meaning we’ll have 3:16 to go at the opening bell. Goldberg knocks him down but Booker hits a quick ax kick with a brace on his knee as they get inside. It doesn’t seem to matter as Goldberg snaps him down with a powerslam and goes after the cut on the forehead.

Cue Jarrett with a chair to Goldberg (apparently this is No DQ, which the announcers seem to think we knew coming in), earning himself a spear, which he sells almost as well as anyone I’ve ever seen. This brings out the Cat in a referee shirt to knock Goldberg down with a kick to the face (oh please) and the Book End gives Booker the pin at a whopping 2:27.

Goldberg pops up (good) and hits the two moves on Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Oh geez do you think Russo is back in charge yet? We had a match that was so complicated that I was confused before it even started, Booker vs. Goldberg twice with Goldberg getting pinned in less than 150 seconds and a string of matches that either didn’t have a finish or didn’t have time to get anywhere because we needed to give Russo’s big idea ten minutes, or nearly double what anything else had all night. So much for the string of good shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 19, 2000
Location: Breslin Students Events Center, East Lansing, Michigan
Attendance: 5,738
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

This is a rare live Thunder though I can’t imagine it’s going to make the show any better than it usually is. The big story at the moment is Scott Steiner being all insane and breaking various things, only to get beaten down by Kevin Nash, like so many people before him have been. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Nitro. As usual, that was the kind of show that flew by so fast that I could barely remember half of it anyway so for once this was helpful.

Harlem Heat arrives. I know I ask this a lot but what is Russo’s obsession with showing people getting out of cars?

Jeff Jarrett is doing commentary tonight. Oh geez. He gets in two slappy’s before he even sits down.

Crowbar vs. Mike Sanders

Sanders is Above Average and had been on Saturday Night all the way back in 1998. Crowbar looks out at the crowd for some reason, allowing Sanders to get in some forearms to the back for an early two. A German suplex sends Sanders flying as the announcers point out Lenny Lane’s huge USE ME sign. Hopefully that makes him put the thing down because it’s really distracting.

They head outside with Sanders stopping a charge with a superkick, followed by a dancing knee drop back inside. We hit the chinlock for a bit as the USE ME sign is back. I’m sure the handful of fans that paid for seats behind him (as he goes up and down the row) are thrilled to have their view blocked by a lame angle that isn’t going to go anywhere.

Crowbar gets two off a Lionsault and Daffney adds a Frankenscreamer (is she immune to the no interference policy?) to send Sanders outside. Mike is sat in a chair for a plancha from Crowbar (Jarrett: “What kind of rasslin is that?”) but Daffney’s distraction allows Sanders to steal Jeff’s guitar and knock Crowbar out for the pin. Jarrett: “He won the match with Slapnuts.” So is Slapnuts the guitar?

Rating: C. Sanders will soon find his calling as a talker but this was much more about establishing someone new on the roster. There’s definitely a push of some new talent around this time but it’s so far past too late at this point that it’s only more false hope. Still though, it’s always cool to see someone fresh instead of the same horrible acts that have choked the life out of this company.

Lenny Lane is escorted off by security. Thank goodness.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say but Rick Steiner jumps him from behind before anything can be said. Stevie Ray comes out for the save and Jeff joins in on the brawl until security breaks it up.

Daffney screams a lot and runs off with a chair to find Mike Sanders. For some reason I want to see where this goes.

Lane is being taken away when he runs into the Cat. All the Laniacs (I believe they meet in the same room as the Jericholics) want is their leader back. Cat: “You’re not a leader. You’re a jobber.” For some reason Cat has a pebble in his pocket and says Lane can have a match if he can take it from his hand. Lane takes it away easily so Cat shouts that he didn’t say go. The result: a tables match vs. the Wall.

Here’s new US Champion Lance Storm. After the full Canadian national anthem, Storm gets right to the point by listing off some great US Champions. However, that title is dead because he’s renaming the US Title the Canadian Heavyweight Championship and puts a Maple Leaf sticker on the front.

As the announcers freak out (save for Heenan because he’s Bobby Heenan), Storm demands respect from the fans and asks security to bring in a typical American fan. This means an overweight woman, who Storm rips on for not being in shape. Cue Mike Awesome for the save but Kanyon runs out to try a Kanyon Cutter on the woman. This brings in Buff Bagwell and I’m guessing it’s a tag match later.

Jarrett offers to teach Sanders how to swing a guitar and knocks him cold. So much for Sanders meaning anything.

Miss Hancock has gotten David Flair a Cruiserweight Title shot tonight and promises, ahem, some fun to him if he wins.

Lenny Lane vs. The Wall

Tables match because that’s what Wall does. Wall powerslams him to start and throws Lane across the ring with ease. Lane breaks up a superplex attempt and pounds away in the corner, only to charge into something like a backdrop/hot shot, sending him throat first into the middle turnbuckle. They go outside with Lane going throat first across the barricade before Wall sets up the first table. He takes too long though and gets knocked off the apron and through the table to give Lane his job back…..in his last match with the promotion. Only in WCW.

The Misfits are given their assignments.

Mike Sanders is still getting up (that’s quite the guitar shot) when Daffney comes in and hits him with a chair. “How do you like that rookie?”

Lenny Lane is happy in his locker room (because if you show up with no job, you have a locker room) when Wall comes in. It’s implied that Wall took a dive.

The Filthy Animals sneak into Kronik’s locker room.

Cruiserweight Title: David Flair vs. Lieutenant Loco

David is challenging and wearing a suit here. Loco jumps him from behind and gets two off an early side slam. Hancock distracts Loco because……well because she’s Miss Hancock and it’s not that difficult for her to distract someone, allowing David to take over off a suplex. Loco comes right back with basic stuff, including a bunch of chops after ripping off David’s shirt. Hancock tries to bring in a chair but David gets caught in a sunset flip instead. Some cheating backfires as the referee catches Hancock holding David’s hands. Cue Major Gunns to chase Hancock off, leaving Loco to tornado DDT David onto a chair to retain.

Gunns goes to give David mouth to mouth but Hancock starts a catfight. Yep it’s time for this feud.

Cat reinstates Lane and fires Wall for taking a dive. That earns Cat a beating from the big man. Security breaks it up and I’m pretty sure Chris Harris and James Storm could be seen.

Sanders is getting up again when Kanyon runs in for a Cutter. Well if they’re going to treat the guy like a goon, at least it’s funny.

The Jung Dragons beat up the Cat because they finally have an open shot.

Tank Abbott vs. Great Muta

Mike Tenay has had to leave commentary due to some throat issues. Tank forearms a few times but gets kicked down to set up the Power Drive elbow. Cue the Dragons to help with a beatdown so here’s the Cat to help Tank. That earns him some mist to the face, allowing Tank to knock Muta out for the pin. Was Muta REALLY that bored in Japan that he called up WCW and agreed to put over Tank Abbott on live TV?

Major Gunns challenges Miss Hancock to a Rip off the Camouflage (ROTC) match at New Blood Rising. Gene is WAY too happy about this.

Kronik’s locker room has been trashed so they tell a crew member to keep an eye on the door. As soon as they leave, it’s another Kanyon Cutter. He’s getting really good at those things.

Jarrett and Rick Steiner are making plans for the match when Midajah comes in to say she’ll do anything tonight.

Kronik vs. Filthy Animals

Disco/Juvy/Rey here in a handicap match with Juvy and Rey coming out in Kronik’s vest coats. Juvy tries to jump Clark from behind as Konnan babbles in whatever language he uses on commentary. I know it’s not English and I know it’s not Spanish but it involves cherries and potatoes. Kronik gets annoyed at the Animals for getting in their way and chases them out to the apron.

Rey comes in and gets to face Adams, which is one of the most backwards face vs. heel dynamics I’ve ever seen. Mysterio springboards into a full nelson slam and Adams throws Disco into him for good measure. The Animals finally take over on Clark with a Bronco Buster but Clark throws Juvy away with ease. Everything breaks down and High Times plants Disco for two (called three by Tony), followed by the powerbomb/top rope clothesline for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Some of Kronik’s offense looked cool here but the commentary from Konnan took away any of the good this match had going for it. Thankfully the Animals aren’t in the Tag Team Title match at the pay per view because it would have been really stupid to have them lose like this. Don’t worry though because I’m sure WCW will find far more stupid things to do in the coming weeks.

Here are Shane Douglas, carrying a bag, and Torrie, with the latter wearing a dress tighter than should be physically possible. Shane pulls out the Stuff Magazine with Torrie inside and asks about her turn-ons listed in the magazine. Apparently she likes seeing her man work out so Shane pulls out a dumb bell and starts lifting, causing Torrie to rub his chest. This brings out Kidman to dropkick Shane but a Torrie distraction lets Shane hit him in the neck with the dumb bell, likely breaking his neck in the process.

We get the Road Report but the guy doesn’t have his phone. Perfect Event comes up to suggest that he use 1-800-CALL-ATT. Problem solved until it’s another KANYON CUTTER for the best fake commercial I’ve seen in a very long time.

The Artist, who can talk now, issues an open challenge to any champion. I think you know what’s coming.

Hardcore Title: The Artist vs. Big Vito

Vito is defending in case you’re a bit slow. They quickly go into a room with Paisley and Kwee Wee watching……I’m guessing a monitor or something. Artist hits him with an ironing board before doing the same to Kwee Wee for no apparent reason. Pink hater. Vito takes over again and brings him down to ringside, only to get hit with a chair a few times. Artist goes with a low blow because good guys are just less bad in WCW.

The Mafia kick and a suplex set up a top rope elbow from the champ and it’s already table time. Vito sets it up in the middle of the ring for the implant DDT…..and the table breaks as they’re standing on it. The fans boo it out of the building as Vito hits him with a trashcan, followed by the DDT to retain.

Rating: D-. So we’re using the lame Hardcore Title match to set up what’s going to be an even worse Kwee Wee vs. the Artist feud. I can kind of understand Russo’s obsession with Jeff Jarrett but I will never get WCW’s love of Artist. The guy just isn’t that good and it shows worse and worse every time he’s in the ring.

Awesome wants to bring one of his women to the ring but Bagwell doesn’t think that’s the best idea.

Positively Kanyon/Lance Storm vs. Buff Bagwell/Mike Awesome

Kanyon during his entrance: “BUY MY BOOK!” We get the Canadian national anthem again until Awesome runs down to clean house. A clothesline puts Lance on the floor and Awesome nails a nice dive to take him down again. Back in and Bagwell beats Kanyon up as Tony recaps Judy Bagwell’s recent problems. It’s off to Awesome vs. Kanyon with Mike coming in via the slingshot shoulder. A nice suplex plants Kanyon again and it’s back to Storm, who walks into an Awesome Bomb.

The Awesome Splash gets two on Kanyon with Storm making the save and everything breaks down. Storm gets the Maple Leaf on Awesome but Buff breaks it up with the Blockbuster. Kanyon makes a quick save though and pulls the ref in the way of a baseball slide. He hits Bagwell with the book (which I’m assuming he reloaded with a fresh brick) and does the same to Awesome, setting up a Kanyon Cutter for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad little match here but we had to speed through things because we needed to see stuff like the Cat earlier in the night. Storm has somehow been a breath of fresh air for the company despite his character being one of the most boring guys in the history of wrestling. Maybe it’s just that he’s a fresh name or something but he’s working very well here.

Rick Steiner and Jarrett say nothing of note. Jarrett uses the acronym NOFYB.

Cat doesn’t know what that means but is sick of Steiner and Jarrett.

Harlem Heat is ready. Well that’s good for them but it’s time for the real star power.

We get a sitdown interview with Kevin Nash. He thinks the people behind the scenes of WCW are trying to keep Hall out. The only time WCW ever had a spark was when the two of them came down from New York to make the company go somewhere. Hall has been healthy for months now but he’s sitting around because WCW doesn’t want him around.

Nash has seventeen months left on his contract and he’ll honor that deal, but then who knows because it’s not about money anymore. As for Goldberg, WCW gave him too much power too soon. Nash has to keep him in check because he’s never paid his dues and won’t have nine years from now. It’s nice to see guys like Booker make it and he was glad that “they put the strap on him.”

Hudson asks about the three way at New Blood Rising (Nash: “It won’t be a dance.”) which is now a #1 contenders match. Apparently there’s a problem with who is going to come out on top. Nash says he’s coming out on top no matter how the match is booked and he’s not going to lobby for a finish. He’s going over (his words) because he says so and it’s time for him to get his.

These are the kinds of segments that I never know what to say. Nash talking about someone not wanting Hall around was fine because you can pin that on Russo and Bischoff (Is he even still around anymore? I don’t remember seeing him after Bash at the Beach.). Hinting at going to the WWF was even fine, but then you get to him talking about how a match is going to be booked or who is going to go over in a big match because of how the finish was lobbied. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish but I’m sure the internet will be talking about it tomorrow, right Russo?

Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner vs. Harlem Heat

This is the closest we’re going to get to Harlem Heat vs. the Steiners. Cat is out here to make sure things are fair. Booker and Rick start things off with the champ taking over. This brings out Midajah to try to come off the top but Cat calls her down and handcuffs himself to her. Well what did she thing was going to happen with the boss out there and her in bright pink pants?

It’s off to Stevie vs. Jarrett with Jeff getting kicked out to the floor. Back in and Steiner clotheslines Stevie for two and we hit the chinlock after all that grueling work. A belly to back puts Steiner down and the hot tag brings in Booker as house is cleaned. Jeff breaks up the missile dropkick and nails a superplex, only to have Booker tie their legs up for a small package and the pin.

Rating: D+. The Booker comeback was good but Rick Steiner is just killing anything he’s doing at this point. The guy isn’t any good and hasn’t been for a very long time yet for some reason they just won’t get rid of him. Jarrett was Jarrett and Stevie was more energetic than usual but there’s only so much you can do in a five minute main event.

Booker gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Dang they’re on a roll lately. These last few shows have taken out a lot of the nonsense and just let them have their dull wrestling shows. The point though is you can see the stories they’re telling and for the most part, they’re working fine. There’s still a lot of stuff they need to fix but at least there’s some good stuff going here and far less bad, which is the most important thing. Enjoy it while it lasts though because you know this is going to go bad soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Nitro #247
Date: July 3, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Charleston, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

It’s the go home show for Bash at the Beach and I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing Hulk Hogan here tonight to set up the title match because that’s probably not in his contract. Other than that we might get Goldberg eating another contract and then finding a way to make it reappear. He’s like a magician you see. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s shows with almost every show getting a quick feature. Unfortunately this includes Vampiro but it also includes the Cat being all over the show.

Cat is on the phone and says he’s suspended Scott Steiner for a week. I believe this was the suspension over Scott not wanting to do a job on Thunder and being punished by being suspended with pay over the Fourth of July weekend. Mike Awesome comes in and isn’t happy about something.

Four ambulances are waiting outside.

Opening sequence.

Tank Abbott takes over DJ Ran’s booth (I love you Tank Abbott) and plays some 3 Count.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

Shane tries to cut a promo but Tank tells them to shut up and sing. Six man tag here and the Dragons start fast upon hitting the ring. Jamie accidentally splashes Kaz as Shane has hurt his arm and has to be looked at by a trainer. As he leaves, Tank comes down to take his place, making sure to stand next to Shannon on the apron. Evan punches Yang down so it’s off to Shannon, because why tag in the killer? It’s quickly back to Evan, who sends Yang into the post. Everyone tries dives but Yang gets left in the ring with Tank. Madden: “DO THE CRANE DANNY!” Tank knocks Yang out and Shannon gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. The match was barely a thing as it was almost all about establishing Tank as the semi-official fourth member of the team. Like I’ve said though, the Dragons and 3 Count would have a lot of good matches but they would never climb up the card or do anything significant against anyone else. That’s a major area where WCW failed and it was rarely more true than here.

Tank makes them dance, including the returning Helms.

Kevin Nash arrives. I have no idea why his clothes are already in his dressing room.

Cat has a proposition for the Dragons.

Goldberg arrives.

Mike Awesome powerbombs a backstage worker through a table.

Video on the Outsiders. Screw you WCW for hinting that Hall might be coming back when you knew he wasn’t. Goldberg finally comes into the truck and demands that the video gets pulled. Nash isn’t pleased.

Here’s Goldberg to a big pop with something to say. He’s sick and tired of hearing about the Outsiders because they’re some of the biggest pieces of garbage in wrestling. Goldberg has carried this company for the past two years and he’s sick of having to do it. This brings out Nash to say he doesn’t want to wait but security holds him back. Cat comes out and says go to a commercial. Madden: “WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY COMMERCIAL???”

During the break, the locker room had to hold Nash back and Awesome powerbombed a security guard. That would be the second man sent to the hospital tonight.

Cat calls Eric and says he’s going to keep them apart for the rest of the night.

Terry Funk tells Johnny the Bull that he has a real tough opponent tonight before hitting Johnny with a chair.

Terry Funk vs. Johnny the Bull

Madden: “Could the opponent be Terry Funk?” Funk knocks Bull into the arena with a chair and does the same thing in the ring. Johnny gets rammed into the announcers’ table but comes back with a chair shot of his own. They head into the crowd with Johnny piledriving Funk onto a chair.

Back to ringside with Funk bleeding a bit from the eye, only to have Bull springboard from the top to the floor into a legdrop onto the chair onto Funk’s face. Yeah believe it or not, that’s REALLY STUPID TO DO and Johnny would be out for two months with a broken tailbone. Back in and Bull small packages him for two (Madden: “The heck with that! Kill each other!”) and DDT on a chair is enough to pin Funk.

Rating: D. I’ll give the points for having Funk put over some young guys, but at the same time it seems that the young guy is stupid enough to try a springboard legdrop to the floor. This is going to derail the hardcore division but it’s not like it’s hard to set up something new for this waste of time. Bad match, but at least Funk put someone else over.

We see Dale Torborg and Asya rehearsing earlier today when an explosion went off and knocked Asya off the stage.

Torborg is going back to the hospital when a man in a robe gives him the Demon attire. It’s Vampiro of course but there’s another man behind him in a robe of his own.

Goldberg yells at Cat.

General Rection/Corporal Cajun vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

The winners get a title shot next Monday. Jindrak, in pants instead of his trunks, gets punched down by Cajun to start before it’s off to Rection vs. O’Haire (also in pants for some reason). Rection slams him off the top and brings the Corporal back in, only to have him take a double suplex.

Cajun grabs a quick small package for no count as the General has the referee for no apparent reason. Sounds like a plot point. It’s off to Rection for a bunch of clotheslines as everything breaks down. An electric chair on the General sets up a top rope splash from Sean for two. Not that it matters as Rection slams Jindrak down and nails the No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D+. Build a team up one week, have a nothing team beat them the next week. Such is life in WCW because they have to go against what could work best for them for the sake of pushing people like Lash Leroux and Hugh Morrus. The match was good enough but that’s the stupid booking that has WCW in the shape it’s in.

Post match the Perfect Event comes in for the big beatdown with the exercise bars. The rest of the Misfits run in for the save and everyone lays down for CPR from Gunns.

Nash tells Cat to make the match.

Awesome powerbombs another backstage guy. Is there a point to this anytime soon?

Cat is on the phone with Eric again and says he has an idea.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett with something to say. After declaring himself amazing, Jeff talks about how great Hogan is. He talks about his granddaddy paying a nickel to watch Hogan back in the day and wanting to be like Hulk growing up. Now it’s 2000 and Jarrett is going to be the one to put him out this Sunday at Bash at the Beach.

Jarrett brings out fat ladies dressed as vikings to Flight of the Valkyries (Hudson: “Or Kill the Wabbit to some of you out there.”). They praise Jarrett a bit and then sing some of the Goodbye song to keep this going. A guy from standards and practices comes out, only to eat a guitar shot. WAY too long for the point here, aside from it not being funny.

Cat comes out to announce a battle royal with Goldberg and Nash included. If they can survive, they can fight each other. “Or make whoopee, I don’t care.”

The third ambulance leaves.

Jarrett and Cat yell at each other a lot.

Shane Douglas vs. Booker T.

Kanyon jumps Booker in the aisle and now we’re ready to go. Shane starts fast with some quick neck snaps and they head outside where Kanyon does the Diamond Cutter sign. Back in and Booker gets in a running forearm for his first offense. A Kanyon distraction fails and gives Booker a rollup for two, followed by the Book End (not yet named) for the pin.

Rating: D. Short and not good enough to go anywhere but at least Booker is on a winning streak. Shane is fine in this role and Kanyon continues to be funny, but they need more than three minutes to actually make this work. Booker vs. Kanyon should be fun on Sunday, though does anyone remember why they’re fighting in the first place?

Kanyon lays out Booker post match until Page’s music plays. Tony freaks out and then realizes Kanyon has just stolen the song.

The Demon is back.

Cat puts a bunch of people in the battle royal and says their jobs are to hold Goldberg and Nash apart. Bonuses are promised.

We recap Vampiro vs. Torborg/Demon.

The Demon vs. Vampiro

Vampiro’s entrance is interrupted by the Road Report. These editing errors wouldn’t pass on a low level indy company. Vampiro kicks him down to start as the fans want Sting. In a stupid moment, Vampiro sends him into the ropes and ducks, looking at Demon the entire time as Demon kicks him in the face. Demon fights back and we’ve got an army of guys in hoods and Sting masks. They all point bats at Vampiro and the distraction lets Demon grab the Love Gun (cobra clutch slam) for the pin.

Post match the hooded guys surround Vampiro but the lights go out and Vampiro is gone. Did you expect anything less?

Smooth talks to the Filthy Animals.

Cat gives the same speech to the Misfits and some other guys. Johnny the Bull is here despite being sent to the hospital earlier. God bless pre tapes.

David tries to talk Daffney, who now has short, blue hair, out of fighting Hancock. Over his shoulder, Hancock is shown going to the ring in a wedding gown (which stops about a foot above her knees) and David can’t help but look. David opts to sing to Daffney instead.

In the ring, Hancock says she can’t decide what to wear under the wedding gown on Sunday. Maybe she’ll just wear nothing. Since she’ll be winning Sunday, she’ll just give us what we want now. Crowbar comes in to stop the dancing and we cut to David in the back. He claims a stomach ache and runs to the ring as Crowbar has Hancock in a chair. Crowbar pulls out clippers to take Hancock’s hair off. Madden: “SHAVE HER! SHAVE HER!”

David comes out for the save but Daffney catches him and hits David low. Of course she has a bottle of Pepto-Bismol too. A lame catfight starts and Hancock distracts Crowbar until David hits him with a chair. Daffney gets her cut off and David puts the clippers in Crowbar’s hands for Daffney to find. As usual, video doesn’t exist in the wrestling world.

During the break, Crowbar chased after Daffney but got laid out by Awesome and thrown in an ambulance.

Smooth brings Tygress in to see Cat. A proposition is made but Cat wants to keep his shoes on.

Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Lance Storm/Kidman

Before the match, Disco brings out Juvy and Rey dressed as Storm and Kidman for a special interview. They make the expected jokes until the real Storm and Kidman come out for the brawl to start the match. Kidman powerbombs Juvy to start and it’s off to Storm for a gorilla press. Rey makes the save with a dropkick and kicks Storm low. Lance comes right back with a suplex and makes the tag off to Kidman for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Storm powerbombs Rey, only to have Juvy faceplant Kidman on a chair for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’d love to see these guys get a regular tag match instead of having to fly through everything in four minutes because we need to see Mike Awesome powerbomb someone else or whatever STUPID Vampiro and Demon stuff is going on. As usual, WCW has too much going on to keep track of the entertaining stuff.

Cat is getting his clothes back on and missed what just happened.

Vampiro is all annoyed and wants Demon in a Graveyard Match, whatever that is.

Nash says Sunday is about Scott Hall but tonight is about Kevin. He’s ready for Goldberg.

We recap Awesome’s rampage.

Awesome comes to the ring and yells about not being a mullet in the same tone that Owen would say he wasn’t a nugget. Fans: “MULLET!” He wants Scott Steiner right now and demands a bell ring. A referee comes out to count to ten but Rick Steiner runs in and takes Mike out, promising that Scott will do the same on Sunday.

Cat gives the people in the battle royal a pep talk.

Battle Royal

Nash comes out and we cut to the back again where Cat tells the Misfits and Booker to stay out of this. Juvy and Rey come out first and this is looking like a gauntlet match. Nash eliminates both of them with ease and Konnan gets the same. Disco’s sleeper doesn’t work so here comes the Perfect Event to finally slow Nash down a bit.

Nash fights them off but doesn’t throw them out as Big Vito comes in with the stick. Now it’s Kanyon to make it 5-1 as the Misfits are still being held back. Booker shoves him away and the good guys come out, followed by Goldberg. House is cleaned in a hurry and Goldberg superkicks Nash. The Misfits grab Goldberg’s boot though, allowing Nash to kick him in the face for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. It’s another segment called a match where Nash AGAIN gets to run roughshod over half the roster because why else would you bring him out there? They’ve done a good job of building up Nash vs. Goldberg, but this has to lead to them having a match and that’s where the whole thing is going to fall apart.

Security holds them back to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Again one of the best shows in a long time, fat viking women aside. There are coherent stories here and that means more for WCW than anything else. Their key at the moment is attracting new viewers and the Russo shows weren’t doing it. You should be able to tell what’s going on within thirty seconds of turning on the show. The Russo shows needed about a month to make sense (assuming he hadn’t changed the story a dozen times in the first hour) whereas these are simple stories that you can figure out quick. Unfortunately that doesn’t make the stories good, but it’s a step up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6