Wrestlemania 22
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

Now this is an interesting show. We’re now fully into what I guess you would call the modern era of both the company and Mania. Cena is the dominant world champion, Orton was his evil self, Taker’s Streak is at full power and Shawn is his Christian self. This show is much like 19: it’s solid, but easily forgettable for some reason. The wrestling is good but at the same time nothing jumps off the page at you.

This is also Kurt Angle’s more or less swan song in WWE as far as major angles go. He was drafted to ECW a few months later and after that did little to anything of note until his release and arrival in TNA. Jeff Hardy was about four months away from his comeback. The card looks somewhere between good and better than good so let’s get to it.

An added factor to this show is that I went to the follow up Raw exclusive PPV, Backlash, the next month. Since I remember it fairly well, I’ll be able to throw in some post show stuff leading up to Backlash.

After America the Beautiful it’s the standard history package to start with I Dare You by Shinedown playing which is a very good song here. The recap videos are something that WWE has always done very well. I don’t remember much of this buildup as it was three years ago but the packages help a lot. The theme song here is Big Time which is a bad pop song. Wrestlemania is supposed to have a freaking ROCK song with it, not a bad pop song.

A video runs us through the main matches and I have to think of the stupid Rey main event tour. Also tonight it’s Cena vs. HHH and Shawn vs. Vince. This is one of the weaker Manias as far as cards go if you didn’t get that.
Raw Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

This was around the time that the two giants were just crushing everyone in their paths with reckless abandon. Carlito and Masters were two young guys that weren’t quite thrown together to face them here. As usual the Chicago crowd is white hot. Kane and Show come out together and weigh over 800lbs. How in the world is Kane the lightweight on a team?

Masters vs. Kane to start us off here. This is the first time in seven years that the titles have been defended at Mania in a traditional tag match. That’s kind of pathetic when you think about it. Show comes in and drills Masters a bit. Big chop in the corner makes people say WOO even though it’s a different kind of chop than Flair threw.

Show slams him and steps on the chest of Masters who tags out to Carlito. The Puerto Rican tries a wristlock and is promptly lifted up into the air and crotched with ease. Show launches Carlito onto Masters on the floor. Kane throws out a clothesline to both but lands between them resulting in a massive THUD on the floor but is up first. Total and complete dominance so far.

Somehow the challengers got the buckle off and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee to send Show’s head into the buckle. Off to Masters now but like idiots they try a double suplex and get launched for their troubles. Kane comes in and a huge backdrop takes down Carlito.

Carlito gets a boot up and that more or less ends his offense. Masters manages to get the Masterlock on Kane but Show kicks him in the face to break it. Backstabber to Kane but Carlito walks into a chokeslam. Masters saves but Kane gets up. There’s no end to these guys. Chokeslam to Carlito ends this.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a classic but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was little more than a glorified squash and that’s just fine for an opener. Both teams would be split up within a month though as the heels argued over who cost them the match here, leading to the Backlash opener which the newly face Carlito would win with a Backstabber. Kane and Show would lose the tag titles to the Spirit Squad of all people and Kane would begin to go insane.

They began a weird tweener vs. face feud where Kane’s voice would play throughout the arena as somehow not only could we hear his thoughts but they were wired around the arena. It tied in somehow to Kane’s See No Evil movie, but it was still pretty bad. It culminated with a fake Kane, apparently from Kane’s past, beating Kane at Vengeance. It made no sense and was a total waste of about three months.

Masters and Carlito argue post match with the fans supporting Carlito.

Shawn says he doesn’t regret telling Vince that Vince needed to grow up because it was the truth. He talks about how he’s always stealing the show at Mania but not to expect a five star classic out of HBK. Tonight is about violence because tonight it’s Vince that needs to pray as tonight Vince is enduring his own personal torment.
Money in the Bank

Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Ric Flair, Lashley, Rob Van Dam
Lillian in that dress with the cut down to her stomach made me lose consciousness for a bit there. Shelton is IC Champion here so no defense of it again. All four commentators are talking here. Van Dam is pretty clearly the most popular guy here. Lashley is a freaking beast. Flair comes out last because I guess he’s the most exciting one with a ladder? That pink robe kind of makes me think he’s not very extreme.

This is only the second of the matches so there isn’t really a track record. RVD chant to start as Lashley destroys everyone with power. Matt brings in the first ladder but Van Dam hits a baseball slide to stop it from coming in and dives on the ladder onto Hardy. No one is in the ring at the moment until Finlay vs. Shelton goes on there. Shelton hammers him with a ladder which is set up in front of the ropes like a ramp. Shelton gets a running start and hits a big flip off of it onto everyone not named Flair.

Finlay and Flair go up but the ladder isn’t in the right place for Flair. Matt goes up and suplexes the young 57 year old down. Flair is in agony and the referee throws up the X for him. Hey, did you know he broke his back in a plane crash in the 70s? Didn’t know if the first million or so times we told you that got it through or not. RVD drops Shelton onto the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder on it. There are only five people in there still at the moment.

Lashley goes up very slowly of course but Shelton runs up only to get popped in the head. Shelton fights him off but can’t get a sunset bomb to take him down. Matt and Finlay help him out and down goes Lashley finally. Another big RVD chant starts up. Matt takes over on offense but when he puts a ladder in front of Finlay to charge at him Finlay throws the ladder at him for a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

Here comes Flair because he hasn’t been on camera for almost five minutes. Did he need to be oiled or something? Since the ring is empty he sets up a ladder but is stopped by Matt. Flair chops some people away and touches the case. Finlay pops up with the club that no one can spell and takes Flair down. The case is swinging though so Shelton is able to stop him or at least slow him down.

Shelton knocks him down and tries to go up but Lashley shoves it down. Van Dam hasn’t been seen in a good while. Oh there he is with a chair on the top. He jumps off and dropkicks the chair into the ladder and everyone is down. Hardy, the idiot that he is, sets up a ladder in the corner. Oh instead he’s doing a signature move instead of trying to win. What a shock.

He goes up and gets a hand on it, drawing a ton of boos. Finlay makes the save and we’re told he’s not a ladder specialist. Dude you go up. How hard can it be? Side Effect to Finlay off the ladder takes down Finlay, Hardy and the ladder. Van Dam climbs the ladder in the corner and drops a regular splash on Finlay. It’s good that he didn’t do the Five Star version as he would have killed himself.

In one of my all time favorite spots, Van Dam goes up top but Shelton springboards from the apron to the top rope to the ladder to catch Van Dam. That’s simply incredible and beats everything I’ve ever seen. Matt puts up another ladder but he and Shelton go down. Van Dam is alone and is like dude that’s awesome and wins the match by pulling down the case. He would win the title in June but lose it in three weeks due to getting high with Sabu.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here of course but WAY too short to be a great match. This was less than twelve and a half minutes long to give you an idea of how short it was. This was good but at the same time they needed more to it. Also with only Lashley and Van Dam being legit contenders out there it was a bit weaker than last year. Good match though.

Josh Matthews, with a lot of hair, is with Gene Okerlund who has no hair. Orton interrupts and says he’ll win the title tonight. Batista pops up and says he’s returning soon, which is true. Just three short months later he did return.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class to come out. Bret Hart isn’t here which is understandable I guess. The rest is Mean Gene, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas (they’re all accompanied by Divas here if that means anything), Verne Gagne, William “Refrigerator” Perry (he couldn’t get a suit for this?) the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (represented by Vickie who wasn’t a TV character yet) and of course Bret who isn’t here.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit
No real storyline here as it’s really just JBL challenging him for the belt. In a really cool looking visual, the entrance ramp rises up like a garage and JBL’s limo drives out of it. Good lord Jillian Hall looks amazingly hot as a cowgirl. JBL has a hand injury here. JBL grabs a headlock to start and takes Benoit down with a shoulder. Benoit tries the Crossface out of nowhere but can’t lock it in.

Instead Chris settles for some hard chops in the corner. Out to the floor and JBL hides behind Jillian to take over. Benoit tries to chop back so JBL KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Why mess with what works? Rolling Germans by Benoit must have JBL wanting to throw out some Nazi salutes. Benoit goes but get crotched. Eh with all those steroids in him the balls didn’t feel anything. JBL does Eddie’s dance to draw big heat and hits a superplex for two.

In a stat that I find almost impossible to believe, Cole says that only 5 matches in Mania history have ended in submission. I had to stop the match and go back to check on that. I found 7: Angle vs. HBK (21), Benoit vs. HBK vs. HHH (20), Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware (6), Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega (12-sleeper) Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin (13-Austin never tapped so I’m not sure if that counts), Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis (3-sleeper) and Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund (11).

Even with Cole being wrong, that’s still amazing. 7 in the first 21 shows meaning just one every three years. That’s either really impressive or really bad. Anyway JBL dances a bit more and hits Three Amigos. Benoit counters the third one but gets kicked in the face for two for his troubles. Off to a chinlock by JBL as things slow down a bit.

Benoit fights back and does Three Amigos of his own with Cole saying “this is how it’s done”, despite Benoit getting up differently than Eddie did. JBL did the same thing Eddie did. Flying headbutt by Benoit gets a long two. Clothesline misses but JBL grabs the referee to avoid the suplex. Clothesline attempt #2 is caught into the Crossface but JBL casually rolls him over and grabs the rope for the title. That’s the ending? Really?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s all there is here? The ending was flat out terrible. It made no sense at all and came from nowhere. JBL literally wasn’t in the Crossface for two seconds, and I timed it, before he rolled out. This match felt like it didn’t have a beginning and started at about 5 minutes in if that makes sense. Really not that good at all.

We recap the hardcore match between Edge vs. Mick Foley. Now this is the match this show is remembered for and with good reason. The story is that Edge stole the WWE Title from Cena using his MITB contract. Foley was the referee for some reason during the rematch, won by Cena. Edge of course says it was biased officiating. That leads to Edge challenging Foley, but Foley saying it’s hardcore. We get this.
Edge vs. Mick Foley
Joey Styles is on commentary here as he freaking well should be. Lita looks INSANELY hot here with the Edge vest, bra and jeans. Good freaking lord. Edge has a ball bat with him. Edge’s facial expressions as Foley comes to the ring makes this match already. That’s his best asset and always has been. When he gets in a big match, Edge’s face is just amazing. Foley has his (blue) flannel shirt on so you know he’s serious here.

Styles actually analyzes Foley’s choice of flannel which is a bit odd. Styles really is a great choice for commentary here as his voice just fits this. Edge swings away with the bat almost immediately which gets him nowhere. Tree of Woe by Edge early as Foley drops an elbow on him. Edge gets a shot in and has Lita hand him a cookie sheet.

These shots are LOUD. Foley takes a street sign to the head and rubs hit stomach. Do the sheets smell like cookies? Edge hits the spear after maybe two minutes and is writhing in pain from it. Foley gets up and rips off the blue flannel to reveal a belt made of barbed wire and the RED FLANNEL SHIRT!!! Foley whips him with the barbed wire and Edge is bleeding from the arm.

Edge is now tied up in the rope and the crowd pops for it. Foley hits the floor and finds Barbie, the barbed wire baseball bat. Lita comes in for the save by jumping on Foley’s back (seriously is there anyone she won’t hit on?) so Foley is like screw it and we get a Cactus Clothesline to the floor. That and a neckbreaker outside both get two.

It appears Foley has become Cactus Jack but when he tries a running knee into Edge into the steps he gets hip blocked into the steps which looked awful. Again the knees go into the steps. Does anyone wonder why Foley can barely walk anymore? Chair time by Edge. Sorry that there aren’t many jokes in this but there’s not much to make fun of. Edge hits the floor again and busts out a table.

Foley rolls off before Edge can put him through it so instead he just rams him into the steel of the ramp. That sound made me cringe. Back in the ring now and Edge has…oh blast it he has lighter fluid. He pours it on Foley but Mick is able to get a Piledriver to save his own life. Using a cookie sheet instead of a second chair Edge almost takes a Conchairto. He manages to get up and give Foley a DDT (not) on the cookie sheet.

Edge with Barbie now (is Lita Ken?) and he hammers Foley with it to draw blood. A bulldog onto Barbie gets two. Out to the floor goes Edge and he finds a bag of tacks. Oh dear. Apparently he had a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the stairs. Foley manages to reverse though and suplexes Edge onto the tacks. Considering Edge wasn’t wearing a shirt that was awesome.

Here’s Socko but Foley wraps it in barbed wire. Claw to Lita as well and now Foley has Barbie (make sure to use protection since Edge already had her). Edge takes a shot to the head and is busted open as well. Oh man he’s cut BAD. Foley, the nice guy that he is, rips the barbed wire deeper into the skin of our Canadian villain.

Foley finds the lighter fluid and holds it up like a treasure in a Zelda game. The table gets soaked in it and yep they light it on fire. In the famous spot from this show, Edge dives through the ropes and spears Foley into the flaming table, burning both men in the process. The pin is academic.

Rating: A. They wanted to make Edge look awesome and they certainly did it here. Foley looked great too as once in awhile he can break out a great match and that’s what he did here. This was exactly what they needed and was enough to let Edge get back into the main event. Great match and the Mania moment that both guys were looking for. In true WWE style, they would be partners weeks later.

Foley gets a standing ovation to leave.
Booker and Sharmell are in the back and Sharmell is freaking over Boogeyman. Booker says he’s not a freak magnet. He then runs into Pirate Paul Burchill and then Ted DiBiase and Eugene doing the basketball thing as I mark out. The basketball thing was where DiBiase would say that if a guy could bounce a basketball 100 times in a row he would give them 1000 dollars.

On about 97 he would kick it away. He laughs and offers Booker a chance at it, saying everybody’s got a price for the Million Dollar Man. Seriously people, go look up his old stuff. In my opinion, he is still the greatest heel that ever lived. One more note about the basketball trick, back in the 80s, a young man from Battle Creek, Michigan named Rob was swindled by DiBiase. He eventually changed his name to Rob Van Dam.

He also finds Snitsky licking Mae Young’s toes and Goldust dressed as Oprah. I love these kinds of segments. Goldie says Booker has to accept the freak in him to beat the Boogeyman. There’s talk of worms in mouths and in a place that Booker is angry over having Goldust whisper to him. DiBiase’s laugh takes us off.

Ad for Backlash. Hey I was there!

We see some sweepstakes winners that no one cares about.

Joe Theisman and Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is Booker keeps faking injuries to get out of matches and is threatened with being fired if he doesn’t wrestle. He was found out anyway and here’s your result. Oh and they’re both terrified of Boogey. Yes Booker, a five time world champion, is terrified of the Boogeyman. Booker wants Sharmell to start us off. It’s weird to hear Cole as a normal announcer at this point.

Booker comes in and hammers away. This is about what you would expect: Booker pounds away, it doesn’t work, Boogey dances a lot and Booker still can’t hurt him. Book End hits and Boogeyman gets up at two. Booker is sent into the post and Boogeyman pulls out a pocket full of worms. He has a snack and Sharmell tries to hit Boogey with his staff. She gets kissed by a mouth full of worms and runs. Chokebomb ends this with Boogeyman winning.

Rating: F. If I need to explain this, you’re an idiot. Did Booker get caught screw Stephanie while giving TNA inside information and choking out Vince at the same time or something?

We recap Trish vs. Mickie. In short, Mickie was psycho and wanted Trish. This involved seeing Trish in the shower and kissing her. I think they dressed up as each other a few times also. Trish finally has enough and Mickie loses it. Trish has been champion for like a year at this point so the title change was long overdue. Watching this video, the build to this was pretty awesome.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

The main perk here would be their looks. Mickie would wear these really loose skirts which would often fly into the air. To the shock of no one, Trish looks incredible. It’s so ridiculous to see how far the Divas have fallen today. These girls have personality and are interesting and I want to see them fight after what felt like a somewhat epic storyline built around them.

Trish goes right after her and gets a Thesz Press to take her down. Big chop puts Mickie down. Trish knocks Mickie down into the splits and then kicks her in the head. Out to the floor and the Chick Kick hits the post to set the story for this match. Mickie works the knee because she’s intelligent despite being psycho.

She DDTs the leg for two as the fans are almost ALL behind Mickie here. Lots of knee work here which is the main thing involved in Trish’s finishers. She pulls Trish’s hair and slams Trish’s face into the mat in a painful looking move. Mickie jumps onto the leg and spins around, looking for praise.

Mickie is mixing up her offense on the leg between holds and strikes to it. See, THAT is important. It makes things far more interesting as instead of just sitting around with one thing we get a variety. She puts a leg bar on but Trish wraps her legs around Mickie’s head and gets a headscissors out of it. That was rather good actually.

They slug it out a bit more with neither girl having a real advantage. Mickie goes up but Trish catches her in the Stratusphere. Mickie counters that though and drapes the leg over the top rope again which gets two. Half crab is rolled up into a small package which gives us two and a great back shot. Mickie goes up again but is caught by a sitout powerbomb for two.

Trish hammers away and the Matrish avoids a kick of some sort. She sets for Startusfaction but Mickie rubs Trish’s crotch to break it up and then licks the hand that was down there. See, little things like that get the gimmick over. They set for the ending which is Mickie using the Stratusfaction but Mickie TOTALLY misses the rope and botches the heck out of it. A weak kick to the head ends it instead. JR’s line of THE NUTJOB HAS WON THE TITLE sums this up perfectly.

Rating: B. This would have been an A if not for the finish. I’m not sure which is better: the tiny outfits and how sexy both were in them or the fact that this was really a great match. The botch at the end almost kills this though, but aside from that it’s great and one of the best women’s matches I’ve ever seen. More importantly than anything though: I cared about it because there was an interesting storyline with developed characters. DO THAT MORE OFTEN!
All four McMahons are in the back and they pray. What do you really expect here?

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This match came about after Henry was for some reason pushed as top heel on Smackdown, feuding with Angle for the title. Angle beat him clean at the Rumble and then Taker had Angle beat for the title on Smackdown but Henry attacked the dead man. Taker than challenged Henry to a Casket Match for some reason and we get this. No buildup video for this either as they’re not even trying to convince us the Streak is in jeopardy. Henry is of course not afraid of the dark.

Taker gets the big entrance with the druids. Oh wait that’s just for the casket. Hey we do get a brief recap. I see why it didn’t get a full one. Daivari is Henry’s manager at this point but isn’t here. This would lead to the debut of Great Khali. Henry jumps Taker during his entrance, more or less sealing his fate. Taker gets a big boot and clothesline but can’t take Henry down.

Clothesline by Henry shifts momentum a bit. Can you believe that this is the same guy that was able to have classics with Shawn and then on the other hand you have Henry who had been there ten years at this point and has gotten worse after starting bad? If you can’t tell I’m trying to not have to talk about the match. Henry goes into the steps, Taker goes into the steps, Old School is blocked and the casket is open.

No one in the world thought Henry had a chance here and the fans are more or less accepting that. When Henry is on offense there’s no heat at all. Taker gets a boot to the shoulder and hammers away on it. Old School hits this time and Henry still won’t go down. Taker tries a Downward Spiral but is blocked, drawing a Henry Sucks chant.

Henry goes after Taker but misses, landing in the casket. Taker winds up in there also and they fight in there for a bit. Taker reaches up and chokes away as this is already needing to end. Back in the ring with Taker striking but he jumps into the World’s Strongest Slam for no cover as Henry isn’t that intelligent. Taker stands up in the casket and gets out rather easily.

Taker gets beaten down in the corner and then like the moron that he is, Henry climbs up to pound down punches. When do you see Taker try cross bodies or Henry do that? Not a fan of moves like those. Taker doesn’t get a Last Ride but more or less falls forward to put Henry down. Henry goes onto the casket so Taker dives over it to take him down. Tombstone in the ring and the ending is academic.

Rating: D. This was bad for one simple reason: there was no drama to it at all. Taker matches at Mania can work very well but at the same time there are matches where there’s no point to him being there, such as this one. I mean dude, Mark Henry? This was a joke and everyone knew it. Boring match and nothing happened at all.

There’s a Divas Lingerie show coming up or something.

We recap Shawn vs. Vince. There was a Raw in Montreal and Shawn apologized to the fans, who kind of accepted it. Vince comes out and laughs about it. Shawn says he needs to grow up, then throws a super kick at him, intentionally missing by as little a margin as he can. This launched a feud which mainly consisted of Vince trying to get Shawn hurt.

Marty Jannetty returned to try to help Shawn but was fired after something like two weeks. Shane faced Shawn on SNME in a street fight and they redid the Montreal finish. Somewhere in there Shawn was forced to kiss up to Vince. It was an ok feud but nothing great. The blowoff was supposed to be here, so let’s take a look. This was supposed to be Bret but he didn’t do it for four years.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Shawn comes out first which is kind surprising. Vince is demonic according to JR as he comes out. McMahon is very proud of his physique and can you blame him? He has a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness magazine at ringside which might as well have an X on the middle for the part that goes on his head. Shawn goes straight to the floor and we head to the tables quickly.

JR loses his headset which makes this match more enjoyable. Shawn grabs the framed cover and cracks it over Vince’s head. JR is completely one sided here because of Vince treating him badly over the years or something. The Spirit Squad hits the ring to make it 6-1. Who would have thought that Dolph Ziggler (Nicky!) would be a world champion before Shawn?

They hit their finisher which is where they all grab the other guy and throw him into the air as high as they can. Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop and Mikey grabs the bullhorn which is applied to the sides of their heads. Vince is able to recuperate during that time and hammers away a bit. Off comes the belt and the whipping begins.

Vince sets for Sweet Chin Music which is caught. Maybe he should have tuned up with a little Stand Back before he did that. Shawn fires away with the forearm and nip up so he can whip Vince a bit. Top rope elbow hits and it’s time to Tune Up the Band. Cue Shane with a kendo stick to crack Shawn in the head.

With Shane standing guard, Vince takes down his own pants. Yep it’s time for the kissing spot but Shawn gets his momentum back and sends Shane’s face into his dad’s back. Shawn pulls handcuffs out of somewhere (Vince maybe?) and ties Shane to the rope. After doing Shane’s dance, Shawn beats the tar out of him with the stick.

Chair time and a HUGE shot puts Vince down. Shawn sets for chin music but stops as Vince collapses. Instead he hits the floor and pulls out a ladder. A shot to the head puts down Vince as I think you know what’s coming here. Vince is dripping blood here. Chin Music is stopped again as Vince is almost lifeless.

Shawn pulls out some garbage cans and a table. Shane is still cuffed mind you. The table is set up after a can shot. Shawn goes up the ladder with Vince on the table and then climbs down. He had a scary look on his face before he came down. Out to the floor again and it’s the BIG ladder. Lawler says it’s 30ft high, meaning Shawn is about 15 feet tall. Shawn fires a crotch chop from the ladder and drops the biggest elbow ever to kill Vince. Sweet Chin Music finally ends this with Vince just collapsing from it. The pin is academic of course.

Rating: C+. Well this was supposed to be a beating and that’s exactly what it was. Vince can take one heck of a beating when he has to and this was no exception. Shawn looked great here with the whole letting the old Shawn sneak in as his mind was being affected by Vince. Good beating but Vince had literally nothing for about 8 minutes at the end. Granted he wasn’t supposed to so that’s easily forgivable. Fun stuff but not great.

Vince flips off Shawn from the stretcher which is just classic.

WM 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Angle is the champion. Rey won the Rumble in honor of Eddie Guerrero and last eliminated Randy Orton to win. Orton went insane heel by saying Eddie was burning and managed to get Rey vs. Orton at No Way Out for the Mania title shot. Orton won and Teddy just made it a triple threat because he could. You knew there would be a triple threat in there somehow. This gets the music video treatment tonight, set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Love that song.

Smackdown Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

POD plays Rey to the ring which is always awesome to see. This would be cool but Rey has a massive headdress on which I think is taller than he is. Dang it Rey does no one look at you before you go out there? Orton is very cocky here and therefore awesome.

Kurt got the title when Batista was injured and Kurt won a battle royal. See, that’s the perk of having guys like him or Shawn. Got an injury? Need a totally credible main eventer to throw in there? How about Kurt Angle or Shawn Michaels as world champion? I think most people would be cool with that. I would be.

Orton jumps Kurt and the fight is on. Kurt is on the floor and Orton gets a dropkick on Rey for two. Angle gets back in and grabs a German on Orton. Then he suplexes both at once and Rey goes FLYING. That was awesome looking. Angle is all fired up here. Belly to belly to Orton as Kurt is killing it. Rey hammers away at baldie and the fans audibly boo. But it’s about EDDIE!!!

In a great spot, Orton is sitting on the ropes and Rey charges at Angle. Angle grabs him and launches him over Kurt’s head and Rey lands in a perfect rana on Orton for two. Angle suplexes Orton back into the ring and the fans are behind him. Rey gets a kick to Kurt’s head to take him down for two. The fans chant 619 and Rey gets a headscissors to Kurt who crawls into the 619 position like an idiot.

Ok maybe not so much of an idiot as Kurt grabs the ankle lock out of nowhere. Orton distracts the referee so the tapping by Rey isn’t seen. Kurt and Orton slug it out but I guess Kurt gets bored so he suplexes everyone in sight and hits the Angle Slam to Rey to the floor. Ankle lock to Orton and Kurt gets the grapevine. Rey pulls the referee out as Orton taps so Kurt has won twice in theory.

Kurt throws it on again but this time Rey drops the dime to break it up for two. Fans aren’t thrilled by that at all. Rey is sent into the post but Orton counters the Angle Slam and hits the RKO for two. Randy goes up so Kurt pops up the corner and gets the belly to belly. Rey botches the 619 then does it right.

Seated Senton gets two on Kurt. Orton kicks Kurt to the floor and gets a slick backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. He sets for the RKO but Angle hits the Slam on him for two. Rey avoids the Slam and sends Kurt to the floor via an armdrag. 619 sets up the West Coast Pop to Orton to give Rey his first world title in less than ten minutes. Seriously, that’s it?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s it? The match was ok but for a world title match at Wrestlemania, that’s it? How many world title matches have you seen at Wrestlemania that don’t crack nine and a half minutes? The title reign was awful, namely due to him being booked like a joke but that’s another story. The match was ok but I thought it was clipped as it was so ridiculously short.

HHH and Cena are getting ready. The fans are clearly behind HHH here, openly booing Cena. Ross says most of the fans are traditional as he’s clearly out of stuff to talk about. Maybe a match ran short? LOUD Cena Sucks chant.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

This is a Playboy Pillow Fight and the reason they were stalling I guess. Candice is introduced from the wrong city. JR says the gate tonight is over $2 million dollars. That’s insane to say the least, especially considering this isn’t a stadium and has less than 20,000 people. Torrie’s music was recycled and is now used by Laycool. She has a freaking dog with her. Ross makes my head feel better by saying the next show is in Lexington. That made me smile.

These two had both been in Playboy. There’s a bed in the ring and pillows and all that jazz. You win by pin or submission. Do I need to explain what’s going on here? They’ve in evening gowns, they don’t stay on long, Torrie wins and they’re in very little clothing. We’re done. This got nearly 4 minutes. Yes, this got almost half as long as the world title match. This couldn’t have been added to that match perhaps? I guess not.

Rating: F. Long, dull, and a waste of my time.

We see some clips from the Wrestlemania press conference. Cena and HHH cut basic promos about being champion post show.

No real backstory here. Cena was champion and HHH won some worthless tournament.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH comes out looking like Conan’s mostly metrosexual brother. He’s wearing a fur pelt and a crown and a breastplate. He rises from a throne to play up the King of Kings bit. He looks absurd but at least after a few seconds we switch over to All About The Game which is a better song I think.

We then see…a newsreel about the Great Depression? Yes indeed, as we hear about the rise of Capone and organized crime in Chicago. The stage rises again as a 1930s era car comes out and fake gangsters armed with Tommy guns ride out. As a geek note, the one on camera side is clearly none other than CM Punk! Total mark out moment for me there as the gangsters surround the ring.

Even the fans are confused here. Cena’s music finally hits and he is booed out of the freaking building. He comes out in a black suit and fedora which would have been awesome had it not been for him wearing shorts and making the trench coat look like a bathrobe. He fires some blanks (honey it happens to a lot of guys I swear) and throws off the coat to reveal his t-shirt and the main event black shorts. We get the big match introductions which will never get old.

HHH is introduced as the Cerebral Assassin, the King of Kings, the Game, the 10 Time Champion. Cena is introduced as the Dr. of Thuganomics. They even get checked for weapons. That’s not something you see anymore. After a long staredown process they lock up and HHH grabs a headlock into a hammerlock. Technical stuff to start here.

Back to the arm stuff as we’re in a feeling out process here. The fans are all over Cena with a huge F YOU CENA chant. Cena tries an FU early but HHH reverses and DRILLS Cena with a right hand to take him down. Cena has to reset a bit as a HHH chant starts. The Game throws him to the floor as they definitely haven’t gotten going full speed yet.

HHH plays to the crowd but Cena sneaks up on him and hammers away. Back drop gets two. Fisherman’s Suplex with a floatover gets two also and we hit the chinlock. YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant starts up which is just hilarious at this point. Cena throws him into the corner and HHH goes over the top and out to the floor. Out onto the aisle and HHH wants a Piledriver but is backdropped onto the steel instead.

Cena’s main offense has been the right hand and I can’t blame him at all for that. HHH fights back and chokes away. Out to the floor for a bit and Cena’s shoulder goes into the steps. Now why would HHH let the referee count? It’s giving Cena a chance to breathe and he won’t win the title that way. I guess you could argue it lets HHH rest.

Back in and HHH hits a suplex and Flair knee drop. Facebuster gets a big pop and a clothesline puts Cena down for two. HHH is covering after almost every move or two that he does which is a very nice thing for him to do. It makes him seem like he wants to win every time which is the idea. They slug it out but another neckbreaker takes Cena down for two.

Modified chinlock/neck vice goes on and Cena is in trouble. Cena fights up but walks into a sleeper. He hasn’t had a steady string of offense all match other than a brief one about 8 minutes ago. John fights out and takes HHH’s head off with a clothesline and both guys are down for a bit. Powerslam puts HHH down and Cena is in control.

Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. The shot of Cena looking at the crowd before he goes for it is great. HHH gets up and catches him in a spinebuster for a long two. Nice move there. Right back to the sleeper but Cena reverses quickly into the Shuffle which hits this time. He pumps the shoes and grabs the STFU out of nowhere.

In a nice show of strength though HHH crawls to the ropes and we’re not done yet. FU is reversed and the referee is crushed in the corner. HHH throws a low blow and hits both guys. Crotch chop to Cena as we have more DX foreshadowing. There’s the sledgehammer but Cena blocks it and hammers away (no pun intended) until a shot to the head takes him down. THAT somehow gets two.

Pedigree is reversed and here comes Cena. FU hits and gets two which results in an eruption from the crowd. Dang good match here so far. Cena has no idea what else to do as both of his finishers have more or less failed. A splash of all things misses but the Pedigree is countered into another STFU and the referee checks the arm. HHH keeps it up (Stephanie says yay!) but then after almost a minute in the hold HHH taps and Cena keeps the title.

Rating: A-. Great match here and definitely Mania main event worthy, but the problem comes down to this doesn’t feel epic. It’s a great match but at the same time it looks like just another title defense for Cena. This would have been a lot better if HHH had come in with the title and Cena had taken it here, but at the same time this worked fine.

Overall Rating: B. If there was a rating between B- and B this would get it. The whole thing is good overall but there are some spots that make you shake your head. For instance the Booker match, the pillow fight thing, the World Heavyweight Championship match, the MITB being so short etc. It’s a good shot, but it’s nothing I’d want to see over and over. It’s good for a rainy day but that’s about it. Recommended but not incredibly highly.

 

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Smackdown
Date: October 13, 2006
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We are done with No Mercy and King Booker is still the World Champion. With that show out of the way, Booker has a new issue to deal with in the forms of John Cena and Big Show as we move towards Cyber Sunday and the Champion of Champions match. We still have some stuff to get through first though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a No Mercy recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to get things going. A month ago, he asked to be sent to Raw because he is out of competition around here. The only one left was the Undertaker and Kennedy beat him at No Mercy. Long still won’t give him his release so tonight he’s defending the US Title, and if he wins, he’s off to Raw.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is defending and gets knocked into the corner in a hurry to start. Benoit hammers away and gets one off the snap suplex. The threat of the Crossface sends Kennedy over to the rope so Benoit chops him in the corner. Benoit is bleeding from the mouth as he fires off some knees to the ribs. The release German suplex sends Kennedy out to the floor but this time he gets in some shots to the back.

That’s about it for the offense though as Benoit slams him back inside and tries the Sharpshooter. With that not working, Benoit settles for a side suplex for two instead. Benoit drops him ribs first onto the top rope and then slams Kennedy off the top. The Swan Dive connects and now the Sharpshooter goes on but Benoit switches to the Crossface, allowing Kennedy to make the rope.

We take a break and come back with Benoit hitting a headbutt in the corner. Kennedy manages to send him shoulder first into the post though and then does it again for two. The logical armbar goes on but Benoit is back up with another failed Sharpshooter attempt. Kennedy goes back to the arm so Benoit kicks him in the head (the simple escapes are often the best) but the armbar goes on again. Then the gong sounds and Benoit uses the distraction to grab the German suplex. Cue Undertaker as Benoit rolls the German suplexes into the Crossface for the tap and the title.

Rating: C+. I’m not wild on the distraction setting up the finish but at least it wasn’t just a rollup for the title. Kennedy losing off the bat like this was a surprise but continuing a feud with Undertaker is a bigger deal than having the US Title at the moment. Kennedy can talk his way up the ladder as well as anyone so he’s going to be fine no matter what he does. Benoit is always good as the midcard champion so this works out for everyone.

This Week In Wrestling History: Steve Austin fills Vince McMahon’s Corvette with cement.

We look at Vince McMahon announcing the Champion of Champions match.

Teddy Long reminds King Booker that he will defend the World Title next week on Smackdown, which Booker does not like. Tonight it’s Batista vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley for next week’s title shot.

Vito vs. William Regal

Vito has a fur wrap to go with the dress. Regal hammers away in the corner as Cole says Vito and Regal shared a shower at No Mercy. They’re out on the floor in a hurry where Regal kicks him in the face, much to JBL’s delight. Back in and Vito fights out of a full nelson so Regal settles for a half nelson suplex instead.

A crossface has Vito bailing to the rope as JBL continues to take every shot he can at Vito. Regal gets kicked in the face so Vito can pull the dress up, only to miss a top rope elbow. As JBL complains about the closeups of Vito and the far shots of Michelle McCool, Vito sits down on a sunset flip attempt for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if it is a good or bad thing that Vito is being moved up the ladder but it’s better than having him do the same things over and over again. This time he’s doing the same things against better opponents, or at least opponents who can play off of the comedy a bit better. JBL’s rants would not fly today, but they are still fairly funny, just for how much he freaks out every time.

Bobby Lashley is ready for the triple threat tonight and loves the pressure.

Here is MVP to say there is no competition for him here. He beat a world renowned fighting machine at No Mercy and the fans call him a Power Ranger (MVP: “That’s cool.”). MVP wants an opponent who will make him break a sweat tonight so here’s Teddy Long to introduce said opponent.

MVP vs. Kane

This is Kane’s Smackdown debut after losing a Loser Leaves Raw match. MVP stretches a lot and JBL yells at him to get on with it already. Kane hammers on him before the bell and beats him so badly that MVP bails, meaning no match. JBL getting on MVP is a different way to go and I kind of like it.

John Cena trained with some Marines and it was hard.

Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to watch and we are joined in progress after a break. Jamie knocks him down in the corner as the EDDIE chants are out in full again. Some forearms and knees to the face set up a chinlock on Rey as the chants switch to 619. Back up and Rey counters a sunset flip into a kick to the head and nails a Lionsault for two. The hurricanrana out of the corner sets up the springboard seated senton but Noble is back with a rollup for two of his own. Not that it matters as Rey hits the 619 and Drops The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C. These two are going to have a good match against almost anyone and they were fine here. It was clear that they were just setting up whatever was going to take place after the match with Chavo but they didn’t fly through it for the sake of getting to the angle. Noble continues to be a good hand in a tag team or on his own and that is a good thing to have on the roster.

Post match Chavo mockingly praises Rey’s win but blames Rey for bringing him out of retirement. These two cannot survive on Smackdown so let’s have an I Quit match next week. Rey isn’t sure as he has already beaten Chavo twice. Vickie questions Rey’s manhood so the match is on.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. KC James/Idol Stevens/Sylvan

Ashley and Michelle McCool are here too. Kendrick and Sylvan start things off but everything breaks down in a hurry with London and Kendrick hitting the stereo dives to the floor. Back in and Sylvan blasts Kendrick with a clothesline as JBL talks about McCool holding a yard stick. Everything breaks down in a hurry with London diving onto James. That leaves Yang to hit a moonsault press to finish Sylvan.

Rating: C+. This was a rather short match but it was all action, as you might have expected from most of the people involved. London and Kendrick can work well with anyone but they need some fresh opponents after beating the Pitbulls and James/Stevens over and over. I’m not sure who that is going to be, but it’s nice to have such skilled champions.

Raw Rebound.

Finlay doesn’t like Cole suggesting he might not win tonight. He’ll win tonight and become World Champion next week.

Batista promises to win too.

Batista vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

The winner gets a shot at King Booker, on commentary here, next week. Finlay doesn’t like being left out of the early staredown so they both deck him. That lets Batista take Lashley into the corner but Lashley whips him into the corner as well. A collision gives us a double knockdown so Finlay comes back in and sends Batista outside. Lashley is back up with some clotheslines for two, with the Leprechaun coming in for a distraction. That sends Lashley out in pursuit and we take a break.

Back with Finlay chinlocking Lashley while Batista is down after being posted while we were away. Batista gets back in and cleans house, including a running clothesline to put Finlay on the floor. The Batista Bomb is broken up and they all head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table. Finlay and Lashley jump Batista in a smart move and then put him through the table in a smarter one.

Booker is VERY pleased by this as Finlay (Booker: “He’s a turncoat!”) clotheslines Lashley down for two. Lashley is back with some shots to the ribs but Batista makes the save. Finlay beats Batista up on the floor again, including a good looking kick to the face. Batista is back up with a spear to Lashley, leaving Finlay to take the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb (Booker: “NO!!!!!!”) for the pin.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t a ton of doubt on the ending here as Batista vs. Booker is the big showdown that needs to happen again. The good thing here though is the other two are more than capable of having a power match like this and they all beat each other up rather well. Throw in Booker’s hilarious panicking on commentary and they had a nice match here.

Booker is told that Big Show and John Cena will be here for the title match next week. The champ is rather upset to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the show moving here and it was one of their better ones in a bit. It felt like everything mattered here (some more than others) or at least had the energy to make it seem like it mattered. This was a nice way to build off of the pay per view, though it could be a while before we get to anything important with Cyber Sunday being the next big Raw show. At least they have a title match set for next week and then the Champion of Champion match as a bonus. Rather solid show here.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 9, 2006
Location: Columbia Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special three hour show this week with Raw Family Reunion. A bunch of people who have not appeared in a long time will be back and that could make for some interesting moments. We are also in for the start of some new stories as John Cena finally vanquished Edge for good last week inside a cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

New opening sequence, featuring To Be Loved by Papa Roach. I always liked that one.

All of the commentators welcome us to the show, which does give it the pay per view feeling.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. He’s hyped up to be here on this special edition of the show, which is also the 698^th episode. Before he gets going though, he has a message for Edge, after the chairs, the cages, the violence and the carnage, the champ is still here. Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell from Smackdown with Booker bragging about how he retained the title in a four way last night at No Mercy. He also brings up his last appearance on Raw, when he made Cena kiss his feet.

Cena does a better British accent and talks about coming to Smackdown where he beat Booker’s team in a six man. The fight is almost on but here’s Big Show to say he’s the Champion Of Champions. Show: “You’ve got a white guy who talks like he’s black.” Show: “What you talking about Willis?” Show says Booker is a black guy who talks like Prince Charles so Cena calls him the Michelin Man. Cena doesn’t think much of Show calling himself the most dominant giant ever. Cena: “There’s another giant. Andre, The. Look it up.”

Show says he’s heard that before and if Andre was here, Show would beat him up too (that sounds so wrong). Booker asks what the point is and then they argue over whose movie was best, with Show bringing up the Waterboy. Booker talks about being in Ready to Rumble and….the other two crack up laughing (I mean…..ok yeah it was that bad). Cena thinks they should figure out who the best is and hammers on Show, who clears the ring in a hurry.

Teddy Long, Paul Heyman and Jonathan Coachman (the bosses) argue in the back over what we just saw. Three matches are made for later: Show vs. Jeff Hardy, Booker vs. Rob Van Dam and Cena vs. Undertaker. Well that just escalated.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada (carrying a long wooden stick) is here with Umaga and the loser leaves Raw. Kane slugs away to start but Umaga hammers him into the corner. Umaga misses a charge into the corner though and eats an elbow, only to knock Kane outside in a hurry. We take a break and come back with the running hip attack being cut off with a grab of the throat.

The chokeslam is broken up though as Umaga knocks him down and hits a top rope splash. The Samoan Spike is blocked as well and now the chokeslam connects. There’s the top rope clothesline but Estrada hits Kane with the board, setting up the Samoan Spike to give Umaga the pin.

Rating: D+. I wouldn’t expect any long matches tonight and that is not the worst thing in the world. This was all about wrapping up their rivalry (at least for now) and it worked out well enough. Beating Kane is almost a required merit badge for a monster so at least they got it out of the way again here. Kane really needs a change of scenery anyway.

Post match Kane gets the big sendoff round of applause.

South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier is here and gets an introduction from Lilian Garcia.

Kane goes to leave but the Highlanders stop him to say it was an honor to be here with him. The beating doesn’t take long and Kane walks out.

DX has to give a formal apology for everything they did last week when they ran the show, which apparently they weren’t allowed to do. HHH doesn’t let Shawn finish any of them though because none of them were their fault. Shawn apologizes for beating Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in a street fight, but that isn’t until later this evening. They realize they’re live so it’s time for a quick merchandise plug. These things are horribly corny but they make me chuckle.

Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start as Tazz actually mentions that Show is from South Carolina in the kind of trivia that most commentators wouldn’t think to include. Show shrugs everything off and slams Hardy down, only to miss the Vader Bomb elbow. The Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope.

The Whisper in the Wind sets up the Swanton for two, only to have Show grab the cobra clutch backbreaker (dubbed the Big Sleep). Now it’s the chokeslam for the pin. Too short to rate, but Joey citing the Hardcore Title as proof that Hardy was extreme was funny. They really didn’t have anyone from Raw other than the new Intercontinental Champion though? Like, Carlito wasn’t available?

Post match Johnny Nitro runs in to beat on Hardy but gets laid out by Show as well.

The Marine trailer.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Street fight, but first, HHH has to say Vince isn’t here because he can’t find one big enough in South Carolina. HHH mentions Cocky, the University of South Carolina mascot, who appears on the screen. He isn’t here though, because apparently he has representation. Fans: “GAME! COCKS!” HHH: “No no. I’m the Game, he’s the cock.” HHH makes every joke about the name you can imagine and Shawn looks ready to bite through his lip.

Anyway, the match starts fast with HHH being sent outside, where he sends Cade face first into the announcers’ table. A double whip sends HHH into the steps and an atomic drop into a running big boot to the face drops Shawn. The whipping is on, which makes things a lot more difficult as Shawn and Cade look a good bit alike here. HHH comes back with the chair and Cade is busted open off a shot to the head. The table is set up at ringside and Shawn elbows Murdoch through it in a hurry. Back in and the superkick into the Pedigree finishes Cade.

Rating: C+. This was short and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt but it was intense while it lasted. DX needed to break a bit of a sweat and while Cade and Murdoch aren’t the biggest opponents, so this was a nice little surprise. At least they got violent in a street fight, which isn’t the case often enough in these things.

In the back, Edge blames DX for costing him the World Title last week. Tonight, it’s the Cutting Edge.

We look back at Kane losing.

Here’s Shelton Benjamin to say this is almost his hometown so he isn’t leaving without some competition from any brand.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit takes him into the corner to start but Benjamin manages a quick shot to escape. A drop onto the ropes sets up the chinlock but Benoit fights up with the running forearm to the head. The German suplex connects on Benjamin, though the Swan Dive only connects with the mat. Not that it matters as Benoit grabs the Crossface for the fast win.

Paul Heyman tries to give ECW credit for Benoit but Teddy Long isn’t having it. Coach brings in Super Crazy and asks which brand is the best. All three try to get Crazy to say their brand is the best but the only thing Crazy can do is say all three brands are great. Long: “YOU SPEAK ENGLISH???” Crazy: “Si.” The bosses are all stunned.

Chavo Guerrero/William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio

Chavo starts with Rey and is quickly hurricanranaed out to the floor. Finlay and Regal have to bail to the floor to avoid a double 619 and the big brawl is on as we take a fast break. Back with Cole telling us not to adjust our sets because this is indeed Raw. Has anyone in the world ever thought they were on the wrong channel (or night in this case) and actually adjusted their set? Maybe turning the sharpness up and the contrast down makes it ECW?

Anyway, we’re back with Finlay hitting a shoulderbreaker on Rey so Chavo can hammer away in the corner. A big kick to the head allows Rey to bring tag Batista….but the referee doesn’t see it. The sitout bulldog plants Chavo and allows the real tag to Batista for the house cleaning. The Jackhammer gets two on Chavo as everything breaks down. Rey hits the top rope hurricanrana into the 619 into the spinebuster into the frog splash for the pin (as Lashley just gets to look on for some reason).

Rating: C. Nothing but a showcase match here and that’s all it needed to be. There is something nice about taking six of the best a show has and throwing them out there for a pretty easy night’s work and that’s all they did here. They had some star power and it keeps Chavo vs. Rey going (assuming they want to) and the fans had some fun. Not too bad.

Eric Bischoff has a book.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young get to come out to the stage for a quick wave. Nothing wrong with that.

John Cena trained with Marines at Paris Island, South Carolina.

Booker doesn’t think much of Cena and promises to dominate RVD tonight.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Melina walks up the steps and Lawler is livid about the lack of splits entrance. Actually we’ll make this a lumberjack match, with the Extreme Strip Poker participants at ringside. They both get sent outside to start and then get sent back inside because yes, this is a lumberjack match. Back in and they slug it out until Torrie gets two off a suplex. A Kristal distraction lets Melina grab a rollup with trunks to win.

Post match Torrie gives Kristal a Stink Face.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference. Edge is WWE Champion here so this is a bit out of date.

King Booker vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Booker misses a kick to the face to start and gets rolled up for two as JBL and Tazz bicker about announcing prowess. Van Dam gets sent shoulder first into the post and Booker hits the hook kick to the face as the arguing continues. Cole: “I’M BEGGING ANYBODY TO LET ME CALL A NEAR FALL!” Van Dam fights up and elbows Booker in the face but Sharmell crotches him on top, allowing Booker to hit a spinning kick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short match but they did what they were supposed to do. Just let them get in and out while keeping Van Dam protected. It’s not like the champions are likely to lose here and they didn’t waste time trying to make us believe otherwise. These two can have a better match if they are given the chance, but that wasn’t the point here.

Cryme Tyme debuts next week.

The Spirit Squad’s Mitch admits that he sucks but he’ll beat Ric Flair tonight because Flair has no friends.

Vince McMahon returns to interrupt the bosses and has an idea: a triple threat Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion match at Cyber Sunday with the fans voting on who gets to defend their title. Yeah they like the plan.

Clip of the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

Mitch vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here so Ric brings out Roddy Piper, Arn Anderson, Ted DiBiase and IRS. That’s a collection of great legends and IRS! If nothing else the Horsemen theme is great to hear every time. The Squad runs off in fear and Flair shrugs off the forearms to the back, setting up the Figure Four for the win in less than a minute.

Here are Edge and Lita for the Cutting Edge. They don’t waste time and bring out Randy Orton in the guest. Edge talks about how Orton impressed him two years ago when he won the World Title but since then, he has done absolutely nothing. Orton doesn’t like that and it’s even worse when Edge talks about all of Orton’s big losses. We see a clip of HHH throwing Orton out of Evolution and beating him down and Edge says it was all HHH ruining his career. Now history is repeating itself and HHH cost him the title last week. Someone has to stand up to DX and it should be the two of them. Hands are shaken and we have an alliance.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

Non-title again. They circle each other to start until Cena hammers away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner so Undertaker can show him how it’s done. Old School is countered though and it’s a superplex to give Cena two. Undertaker grabs the bearhug but Cena is out in a hurry for the flying shoulder. A running DDT gives Cena two and the sit up freaks him out. The FU is countered and Undertaker hits the chokeslam but here are Big Show and Booker to jump Undertaker.

Rating: C. Another match that didn’t matter much but the atmosphere was certainly there. You don’t see two actual titans of WWE going at it very often and while Cena was still climbing, he was the top star in the company here and putting him in the ring with Undertaker feels important. There was no one anyone was taking a pin here so for once, the run in was the perfect call.

Post match Mr. Kennedy comes in after Undertaker as well and the two of them go up the ramp. The champs are left alone and Cena drops Booker, setting up the STFU on Show. An FU plants Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As you can probably guess, this wasn’t about the wrestling itself and for once it wasn’t even about the legends. This was about making people care about all three brands on one night and putting a new coat of paint on Raw (or at least giving it a new theme song). That worked out well and it felt like an important show without anything that dragged the show down. It’s not a masterpiece but it felt energized and I had fun, which is the point of a big special like this. Nice show and they did well when they were trying to.

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No Mercy 2006
Date: October 8, 2006
Location: RBC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back to the pay per views and this time around it’s another pretty low level one with one of the weaker Smackdown shows. The main event, as of two days ago, is now a four way with King Booker defending his title against Finlay, Batista and Bobby Lashley. Other than that we have Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in a Falls Count Anywhere match as the second biggest thing on the card. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the four way, with everyone saying it is time for no mercy. It’s not a good sign when there is nothing else to talk about.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Still non-title because the Cruiserweight Title still doesn’t matter. Helms is the hometown boy and Cole goes over their history and tries to put over the idea of the match being the battle of North Carolina. They fight over a headlock to start until Hardy shoulders him down. Matt’s takedown gives us back to back standouts as the fans are behind Hardy. Helms takes him into the corner and stomps away but Hardy is right back with a clothesline.

They head to the floor with Matt hitting a quick slingshot dive to take him out again. Back in and a neckbreaker into a backbreaker puts Hardy down and a super Russian legsweep gives Helms two. Helms grabs a Codebreaker for two more and it’s time to crank on the arm some more. Hardy fights up with a reverse DDT before winning the slugout to take over. Some clotheslines set up the bulldog out of the corner for two and the middle rope legdrop gets the same.

Helms comes back with a reverse Unprettier and then hits it twice more, only to get punched out of the air. Back to back to back Side Effects get two but Hardy’s moonsault hits knees. The Shining Wizard gets two so Hardy gets in a shot to the face and heads up top. That earns him a crotching and running Shining Wizard for two but Hardy is right back with the Twist of Fate for the quick pin.

Rating: B. This was a very nice surprise as I had no interest coming in and they had a heck of a match here. Ignoring everything about the title and how many times we have seen the match now, this was a rather good opener and I dug everything about it. Call it a hidden gem as this was one of the bigger surprises I have seen in a long time.

King Booker needs to focus but also tells William Regal that he needs help tonight. Regal is willing to help and is tasked with getting Finlay to help Booker in the four way. He’s up to the crusade.

Tag Team Titles: KC James/Idol Stevens vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

London and Kendrick are defending and Michelle McCool/Ashley Massaro are here too. Stevens hammers London in the corner but London is right back with a headscissors. Kendrick comes in to crank on the arm as JBL actually compares London and Kendrick to the Simpson Brothers. It’s off to James, who is taken down with a double clothesline and the champs hit stereo dives to the floor.

Back in and McCool offers a distraction, allowing James to shove London off the top and put him in trouble. James hammers away and hands it back to Stevens for a double underhook crank on the mat. London breaks free and goes for the tag but Stevens pulls Kendrick to the floor. The second attempt works a bit better though and it’s Kendrick coming in to clean house.

London hits a dive onto Stevens, leaving James to superplex Kendrick down for a near fall. McCool offers a distraction so the illegal Stevens can hit a chokebreaker to give James two on Kendrick. London breaks up a double suplex and launches Kendrick for a double dropkick. Sliced Bread into a step up shooting star press finishes James to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. These guys work well together and London/Kendrick have turned into the latest awesome young high fliers. That’s the kind of thing that is always going to have a place in the wrestling world and they have looked great for a long time now. They could use some fresh competition but they have earned a spot on a pay per view like this one.

William Regal goes to find Finlay but finds Vito in a dress jumping rope (Regal: “You’re sweating like Vince McMahon in a church.”). Vito pulls up his dress to reveal the thong, freaking out Regal (who is jumping rope and singing London Bridge) and making him fall into the concession stand.

Teddy Long is in the ring with a cake and a huge birthday present for the birthday boy…..The Miz! Cue Miz, who shouts a lot of HOO-RAH’s, but Long has something for him: that would be Layla, who is barely concealing her rather limited clothing. She has Miz sit down and the lap dance is on, then blindfolds him (with Miz talking about whips and chains). Cue the most obvious payoff in the world, freaking Miz out as he sees who is dancing in front of him next. Layla and Big Dick Johnson dance together as Miz runs.

MVP vs. ???

This is MVP’s in-ring debut and he has the big inflatable tunnel for his entrance. Before the match, MVP talks about how great he is, though the fans chant POWER RANGER at his offense. The opponent is a rather skinny man named Marty Garner, who is slapped down before the bell. MVP takes him down and rides him a bit, followed by a snapmare of all things for two. The fans call this boring and MVP snaps a bit, setting up the yet to be named Playmaker for the fast pin. JBL really doesn’t seem to like him.

Regal is in a towel after the shower but Vito comes in to freak him out again. That sends Regal running off with the towel falling off. Teddy Long isn’t pleased and puts Regal in a match for later. This was a bit of a problem as Regal’s penis was accidentally exposed for a split second during the segment and WWE had to apologize.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy isn’t scared of Undertaker’s power, as we put a completely fresh spin on an Undertaker feud.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Non-title and for some reason we wait about thirty seconds for the referee to ask if they are ready. Undertaker charges at him to start and sends the arm into the corner. That’s enough to send Kennedy outside for a breather so Undertaker sends the arm into the post this time. Back in and Old School is countered with an armdrag, which commentary is sure has never happened before.

Kennedy stomps away in the corner but walks into a Downward Spiral for two. Undertaker is knocked to the apron though and Kennedy drives him into the apron to take over again. Another shot knocks him off the apron again and a DDT out of the ropes catches Undertaker on the way back in. The running crotch attack to the back of the neck gets two and Kennedy slowly pounds on him.

Kennedy grabs a piledriver, which freaks commentary out, partially because they call it a Tombstone. That’s good for a pair of twos so it’s off to a chinlock to keep Undertaker in trouble. Undertaker is right back up to win the slugout and there’s the jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot gets two but Kennedy grabs the referee to block the chokeslam.

Kennedy’s neckbreaker gets two but Undertaker is right back with the chokeslam for two. Back up and Kennedy sends him into the exposed buckle, setting up the Kenton Bomb for two more. Kennedy goes to get his title and leave but Undertaker takes it away and hits him for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the fairly weak ending, but I will absolutely take that over a champion losing again. They could come back with a rematch in a few weeks, though it isn’t like the title is doing anything for Kennedy in the first place. Undertaker did give him a good bit here and that’s always nice to see when there is a chance to put someone over.

Post match Undertaker beats up the referee to blow off some steam.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Chavo claimed that Rey was sponging off of the Guerrero name (fair) and cost him the World Title. The feud ensued and this time it’s Falls Count Anywhere.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo and it is Falls Count Anywhere. Chavo elbows him down to start but Rey slips out of a rollup and hammers away. The EDDIE chants begin as they head up top and then both crash down for the double knockdown. That’s enough of the ring so they fight up to the entrance with Rey having to hurricanrana his way out of a powerbomb.

Rey knocks him into the barricade but is quickly Gory Bombed onto the same barricade to put them both down again. Chavo is draped over another barricade for a clothesline to the back of the head but Chavo sends him head first into some hockey boards for two. There’s a head first swing into a chair and it’s time to fight into the crowd.

Rey gets in a few shots to the face and runs off the barricade to hit the seated senton for two more. They fight towards the ring, with the camera being knocked around quite a bit each time. It’s finally into a bit of a clearing for a 619, setting up a crossbody off of a tunnel to give Rey the pin.

Rating: C-. This was only so good though they needed to have a more violent match/brawl like this one. Chavo is somehow managing to overcome a career that has not seen him as a major player for the most part so it was nice to see him working this well in such a role. That being said, it was a lot of walking around and punching, so they were only going to get so far.

Post match Vickie is REALLY not pleased.

William Regal vs. ???

The mystery opponent is….Chris Benoit, who is making a rather long awaited return. Benoit drives him into the corner to start so Regal start in on the arm. A headlock takeover has Regal down but Benoit fights up and wristlocks his way to freedom. Back up and the test of strength lets Regal bridge on his neck and then flip backwards, only to get caught in a bodyscissors.

Regal steps on the arm to get out so Benoit chops him into the rolling German suplexes. A headbutt busts them both open and Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two. They head to the apron to tease the super German suplex but Regal knocks him out to the floor instead. That’s fine with Benoit, who tries the Sharpshooter but gets kicked in the face for the block. Something like a hybrid dragon sleeper/abdominal stretch has Benoit in more trouble but he slips out and hammers on Regal’s cut.

Some suplexes send Benoit flying but the Regal Stretch attempt is countered into a Crossface attempt, which sends Regal to the ropes. Back up and Regal ties the legs up to put on a dragon sleeper for some hard neck cranking. That doesn’t last long as Benoit grabs a dragon suplex and puts on the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: B. These two beat each other up for a long while and it if had some more time, it could have been a classic. Benoit hasn’t missed a beat and I don’t think anyone was expecting anything else. These two have always worked very well together and they made it work here again. Heck of a match and it’s very nice to see Benoit back.

In the back, King Booker yells at Regal for not finding Finlay and doesn’t want to hear excuses. Finlay comes up to say he’s here to fight for the title so Booker yells at him as he leaves. Booker yells at Regal and tells him to get out, including a slap to the face. Regal drops him with one left hand.

We recap the main event. King Booker is World Champion and was scheduled to defend against Bobby Lashley. Then Teddy Long added Batista and Finlay to make it a four way earlier this week.

Batista and Bobby Lashley will see each other out there.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Batista

Booker, with Queen Sharmell, is defending and it is one fall to a finish. Finlay gets knocked outside to start so Booker gets double teamed in the corner until Finlay runs back in for the save. Lashley is tossed as well, leaving Batista to take the double teaming for a change. Finlay and Batista head to the floor so Lashley comes back in with a spinebuster for two on Booker.

Batista takes Lashley’s place so Finlay and Booker double team him down again. An elbow to the face drops Batista but Finlay jumps Booker, sending JBL over the edge. Finlay sends him face first into the apron and then sits on his chest for two back inside. Batista comes back in and gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar. A Samoan drop doesn’t get Batista out of trouble though as Finlay switches to a keylock, followed by a half crab to Lashley.

That’s broken up as well and Booker kicks Finlay in the face for two. It’s Lashley up with a gorilla press gutbuster for two on Finlay. That draws out the Leprechaun for a low blow, setting up Finlay’s Shillelagh shot to Lashley. Batista is back in with a Jackhammer to Booker but has to knock Finlay down. We’re down to Batista vs. Lashley, with the former nailing a fast spear for two.

Batista is busted open off of what might have been an accidental collision so Lashley hits him with a spinebuster. Finlay pulls Batista to the floor, leaving Booker to grab the Book End for two on Lashley. A kick to the face gets two more but it’s Batista back in for spinebusters all around. The Batista Bomb hits Finlay but Lashley spears Batista, allowing Booker to pin Finlay to retain.

Rating: B-. It was a smart move to let them all get in there and do their things in shorter bursts than trying to have something coherent for all four of them. Booker retaining is fine, even if it seems pretty clear that he is just keeping the title war for Batista. This was a well put together match and they went with the best way out of it that they had available. Nice job here, especially for a match with about two days’ announcement.

Overall Rating: B. Where the heck did this come from? This was in and out in a hurry at just over two and a half hours with three very good matches included. WWE has a strong track record of surprises when it comes to shows like this, as the card looked terrible coming in. Maybe it is the lack of expectations but what we got here worked rather well and that was a great surprise.

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Smackdown
Date: October 6, 2006
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Attendance: 5,585
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and I’m not sure what else there is to set up for the show. The card has been set in stone for a good while now and while there are still a few things that could be firmed up, everything else is ready. Hopefully they keep the interest up, though a boost would certainly help things out a lot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

King Booker, with Queen Sharmell, is ready to make Bobby Lashley pick Batista as his poison tonight.

Bobby Lashley is cool with that and picks Finlay as Booker’s poison. No matter what happens though, nothing changes for Sunday.

Rey Mysterio/Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

Take two feuds and mix them together. Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo. Rey wants Chavo to start but gets Helms instead, meaning it’s quickly off to Hardy to hammer away. A springboard ax handle to Helms’ shoulder connects but he spinebusters Rey down to take over. Now Chavo is willing to come in for a few cheap shots before handing it back to Helms. That means a drop toehold into the corner and everything breaks down in a hurry.

Helms hits a Codebreaker on Hardy and grabs a triangle choke, followed by some stomping from Chavo. The Side Effect gets Matt out of trouble and it’s the lukewarm tag to Rey to clean house. There’s the big kick to Chavo’s head and Poetry in Motion sets up the hurricanrana into the 619. Rey Drops The Dime and pins Helms, with commentary not even throwing out a token mention of the Cruiserweight Title.

Rating: C. Totally run of the mill tag match here but it worked out fine for what it was supposed to do. I’m still not thrilled with the Cruiserweight Title being the most worthless belt I’ve seen in years. Hardy can’t go after the thing and there is no mention of someone wanting to be champion, so the little value it already has goes lower and lower every day.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show, which is a rather obvious excuse to show off….yeah I think you get this one.

Elijah Burke vs. Tatanka

Sylvester Terkay is here with Burke, who praises himself before the match. Terkay offers a distraction and Burke gets in a cheap shot, only to get chopped down in a hurry. Burke gets in a knee and hits a dropkick in the corner, followed by a driving shoulder to keep Tatanka in trouble. The running Vader Bomb elbow gets two and the chinlock goes on. Tatanka fights up with a flapjack and the Papoose To Go, followed by the top rope chop to the head for two more. Terkay offers a distraction though and Burke hammers away, allowing Terkay to get in a cheap shot. Burke hits a Stroke for the pin.

Rating: D+. They’re doing the right things with Burke and Terkay here but nothing is clicking. Burke has the charisma and Terkay is the muscle, which is a formula that has worked for years but it isn’t working for them. Granted having to cheat to beat Tatanka isn’t going to make things better for them. This Tatanka gets cheated story needs to wrap up too, as it is approaching a few months now.

Trailer for the Marine.

King Booker asks Finlay if he will lay down for the king, but Finlay asks William Regal if he would do the same. Regal says of course he would, but Finlay isn’t going to do it. Booker: “DON’T DO THIS! DON’T DO THIS!”

King Booker vs. Finlay

Non-title and Queen Sharmell is here too. Sharmell offers an early distraction so Booker can jump him from behind for an early two. Booker hammers away but Finlay shows him how it’s really done and grabs the chinlock. Some forearms keep Booker down and there’s a stomp to the ribs, followed by an elbow to the jaw.

Booker gets sent shoulder first into the post and Finlay grabs another chinlock as he continues with the simple yet effective offense. They exchange forearms until Booker drops him with a side kick. Cue the Leprechaun with a mouse to scare Sharmell and the distraction lets Finlay get in a Shillelagh shot for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one but that wasn’t the point. This was about showing Booker as a bit weaker than you might expect and they had a short match to prove the point. You don’t need to do much more than that here, though Finlay continues to look completely comfortable against anyone in there. I know he isn’t going to be a long term main eventer, but he’s really good in the brawling enforcer role.

Bobby Lashley vs. Batista

We get the big staredown and handshake to start. They shove each other around and the test of strength goes nowhere. Lashley backs him into the ropes to escape a headlock and then runs Batista over with a shoulder. Batista hits a shoulder of his own but it’s way too early for the Batista Bomb. Instead Batista pulls him down into a chinlock with a bodyscissors, followed by the shoulders in the corner. A big boot cuts off Lashley’s comeback attempt but a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. Cue Finlay to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was a bit more fun but it was exactly the same as the previous match: there was no point in trying to do anything here because the entire point was to get them in the ring and then do the DQ. There is nothing wrong with that and they did things as they were supposed to. Good enough stuff here, and Lashley hanging in there with Batista makes him look better.

Post match the beatdown is on with King Booker coming in to go after Lashley. Cue Teddy Long to say enough of this, because we’ll just make Sunday’s match a fatal four way. Dang that’s rather unfair to Lashley.

Post break Booker and Sharmell yell at Long but Batista, Finlay and Lashley come in to yell/thank Teddy as well. Long doesn’t want to hear it and makes the tag main event.

Sylvan vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Yang talks about how he likes NASCAR, cold beer and beating people up. There are no fast cars or beer around here, so that leaves a bad Roddy Piper knockoff line instead. Yang kicks him down for an early one as JBL freaks out about everything Yang related. Sylvan is back up with a clothesline and a bearhug, which is broken up in a hurry for the clothesline comeback. A missile dropkick gives Yang two and a kick to the face gets the same. Yang tries a victory roll but Sylvan stacks him up and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D. It says a lot when even WWE seems to have given up on the Yang gimmick so soon. There is nothing to the whole thing other than a one note joke and it wasn’t that funny in the first place. Sylvan isn’t much better, but at least they have dropped the ambassador thing and are going with him as a generic foreign heel, which fits him a bit better. Not much better mind you, but it is an improvement.

Clip from the No Mercy press conference.

Here is MVP for a chat on the platform. He talks about how everything is changing but no one is ready for his debut. JBL loses it because MVP hasn’t even gotten in the ring yet.

Mr. Kennedy is in a black shirt in a black room and talks about how successful Undertaker has been through his mind games over the years. Last week Kennedy came face to face with it but he wasn’t scared. All of those plans mean nothing to him and nothing will prepare Undertaker for the devastation coming for him at No Mercy.

Michelle McCool, KC James and Idol Stevens are ready for Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Ashley Massaro.

Michelle McCool vs. Ashley Massaro

Both tag teams are here too. They trade shoulders to the ribs in the corner to start as JBL is in quite the bit of lust. Ashley hits her in the back and puts on an abdominal stretch, followed by the Boston crab. KC James pulls McCool to the ropes so Ashley tries a high crossbody, only to have Michelle roll through and grab the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, I think you get the point here and they aren’t exactly trying to hide that fact. That makes all the sense in the world but points to Ashley for being able to hang in there well enough. I know she isn’t a career wrestler but she is trying out there and you can see it even in such a short match.

Clips from the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

No Mercy rundown.

King Booker/Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley/Batista

Finlay jumps Batista to start but Batista takes him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. They head outside with Batista hitting a clothesline and bringing it back inside so Lashley can come in. Booker gets the tag and walks into a suplex for two with Finlay having to make the save. They head outside again with Booker sending him into the steps, allowing Finlay to grab a chinlock. A knee to the ribs gets two on Lashley and Booker adds a basement dropkick to the face for the same.

Lashley suplexes his way out of a front facelock (Booker’s stunned face is great) but Finlay is back in with some elbows to the face. Booker takes Lashley outside again and starts striking away, followed by a crossface from Finlay back inside. Lashley powers over for the tag to Batista but Booker has the referee so we keep going (still a classic spot). A spear gets Lashley out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Batista, only to have William Regal come in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Much like the two singles matches, this wasn’t about the action itself but rather having the wrestlers in the ring before Sunday. It’s coming off like WWE has no confidence in the title match as you don’t often see two more people thrown in two days before. It should be fine, but they aren’t really hiding how B level show the four way is starting to feel.

Post match Batista cleans house and Lashley doesn’t look happy to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was the hard sell show for the pay per view and while they hit all of the bases, it still isn’t the most interesting show. No Mercy doesn’t feel like a major pay per view and there isn’t much they can do to get around that. The show wasn’t the worst and it did its job, but No Mercy isn’t an interesting show no matter how much they do on the go home effort. They were trying, but there is a limit to what can be done.

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Smackdown
Date: September 29, 2006
Location: Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less two weeks away from No Mercy and most of the card is set. That’s a good situation to be in as it means the next two weeks can be spent firming everything up and adding something here and there. This week is about the guest star though, as John Cena is here for a six man main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at King Booker’s Court invading Raw and making John Cena kiss Booker’s foot. Of course you know this means match.

Here’s Cena, with a banged up arm, to get things going. Before he gets into dealing with Booker and company, he is glad to be back on Smackdown because it’s like hosting Saturday Night Live. He’s the WWE Champion again and now he has a new movie coming out. Cena: “Go and see it a million times.”

Cena is glad to have the big fist and Tony Chimmel as the ring announcer. Then there’s JBL, who Cena remembers taking a beating the last time they saw him. Next to JBL is Michael Cole, the Whitney Houston to his Bobby Brown, and Cena has a gift for him. After handing Cole some balls, Cena talks about King Booker’s Court being here, but so are Batista and Bobby Lashley. Tonight, the odds are even.

Video on Vickie Guerrero joining forces with her nephew Chavo.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sylvester Terkay

Elijah Burke is here with Terkay….who tells Burke to take his place.

Rey Mysterio vs. Elijah Burke

Rey snaps off a headscissors to start as JBL goes into a rant about how Mysterio’s success in Mexico means nothing in the USA. Burke knocks him into the corner as we see the Guerreros being rather pleased in the back. That’s leg to in a hurry but Burke misses the top rope elbow. As JBL again called Terkay and Burke the best interracial team since the APA, Mysterio hits the spinning springboard crossbody to put Burke down. The 619 lets Rey Drop The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one other than Burke taking a loss that he probably didn’t need to lose. Terkay continues to be the star of the team, but that doesn’t mean his partner needs to be losing. Mysterio needed the boost on the way towards his match against Chavo at No Mercy, but I would think there is someone better to take the loss than Burke.

Post match Terkay jumps Mysterio from behind and lays him out with a Muscle Buster. We see the Guerreros seeming rather pleased in the back.

Ashley Massaro introduces a video on Brian Kendrick and Paul London.

Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at No Mercy and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. Stevens gets pounded down to start so it’s off to James to get taken into the wrong corner. A kick to the chest gets two on James as JBL gets on Cole for playing soccer. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kash’s moonsault press gets two on James. A small package has James in trouble but McCool turns it over to give James the pin.

Rating: C. Again, not much time to go anywhere but it could have been a lot worse. The problem is we’ve already seen Kendrick and London beat both teams so there is only so much interest in watching either of them get another shot. The lack of time might be annoying, but it was the right move here.

Marine video. Just have the thing come out already.

Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero

They trade some standing switches to start until Hardy drops him with a right hand. Back up and Chavo pulls Matt off the middle rope for a crash and it’s off to a seated armbar. That’s broken up as well and Matt hits some clotheslines into a backdrop. The bulldog gets two and there’s the middle rope legdrop. Vickie Guerrero gets on the apron for a distraction though, allowing Gregory Helms to come in for the real distraction. That’s enough for Chavo to grab a tornado DDT into the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Two talented guys getting to do their thing for a few minutes is almost always going to work and the interferences both made sense. Chavo is starting to feel like more of a player than Eddie’s sidekick and while I’m not sure how far up the ladder he can go, it’s nice to see someone as talented as he is finally getting a chance of his own outside of the Cruiserweight Title.

Post match, Helms hits Hardy with a Shining Wizard.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant knocked out Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to bid farewell to Undertaker. There is a black wreath in the ring as Kennedy talks about how this is a tribute. Undertaker has taken on and beaten some of the all time greats and we see a video package on his career. All of those accolades leave him with nothing to prove though, which makes Kennedy feel bad about No Mercy. He doesn’t want to end Undertaker’s legacy, so he certainly doesn’t want to face him at Wrestlemania.

Therefore, as a man of good conscience, he cannot wrestle Undertaker at No Mercy. Cue Undertaker and, after about a five minute entrance, he promises to show no mercy and make Kennedy rest in peace. Then Kennedy goes to hit him with the microphone but it blows up in his hand to send him running.

King Booker’s Court is ready to make John Cena, Batista and Bobby Lashley hail the king tonight.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book.

Miz vs. Tatanka

Miz sings his version of Sexy Back on the way to the ring. JBL: “I hate him.” Tatanka whips him into the corner to start but Miz gets out to the apron. A slide between the legs lets Miz hit the warpath as JBL makes every Native American joke he can think of in the first minute. Miz’s Russian legsweep gets two but Tatanka is back with his own for one. Now it’s Tatanka going on the warpath but Miz rolls him up with trunks for the fast win.

Rating: D+. The best thing about the way they are pushing Miz is he is racking up wins while not overstaying his welcome. I don’t think any of his matches have gone more than about five minutes or so and he is out there almost every week. Keep him warm, give him something to do and build him up a bit. This isn’t rocket science and what they’re doing is working well for an early stage.

Teddy Long is proud about last week’s debut being the second highest viewed show among adults on Friday night. Next week, Bobby Lashley and King Booker will pick each other’s poisons and you can find out their picks over the weekend on WWE.com.

Jimmy Wang Yang is a redneck and ready to face Sylvan.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Sylvan

Yang has the Confederate flag on his vest (JBL: “Who is he sponsored by? George Wallace?”) and comes out to I Might Have To Punch Someone Tonight. Sylvan hits him in the face to start but walks into a headscissors into a dropkick. A toss sends Sylvan out to the floor for a crash as Cole compares Yang to Dick Murdoch to needle JBL in a funny bit.

JBL: “I hate you. I hate everyone in the ring. The referee is Canadian so I hate him too.” Yang jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock and hammers away, including a spinwheel kick. Sylvan catches a charge in the corner though and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case tonight, not much in the way of a match but at least the JBL rants were funny. Yang losing doesn’t matter in the slightest as he is nothing more than a goofy one note character who was never going to be a big star. Sylvan isn’t either, but that reaction in Montreal last week probably earned him one more win, which is fine.

Vito says it’s the man that makes the dress.

MVP has signed with Smackdown and we get clips from his signing press conference. He debuts at No Mercy.

No Mercy rundown.

King Booker/Finlay/William Regal vs. John Cena/Batista/Bobby Lashley

This does feel like a big match and we see a clip of Cena getting beaten down on Raw during the entrances. It’s a big brawl in the aisle to start before the bell and we take a break. Joined in progress with Batista shouldering Regal in the corner and nailing the spinebuster, which draws Finlay in for an early save. Booker comes in to hammer away on Batista, who is right back with the Jackhammer.

It’s off to Lashley, who gets kicked in the face by Booker. That’s fine with Lashley as he counters a leapfrog into a powerslam to plant Booker for two. Finlay comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press gutbuster but Lashley misses a charge into the post. He’s fine enough to make the tag to Cena and everything breaks down with Cena cleaning house. The STF to Booker is broken up and the Leprechaun slips Finlay the Shillelagh to hit Cena in the bad arm.

We take a break and come back with Regal working on the arm as only Regal can do. The villains take turns working on the arm until Cena suplexes Finlay away. Finlay pops back up with a clothesline though and the armbar goes on again. Another clothesline gives Finlay two and it’s back to Booker, who (after a bit of mistiming) misses the side kick to hit the ropes. Lashley gets the hot tag to clean house as everything breaks down. Batista almost gets caught with the ax kick but Lashley spears Booker down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty long match for a TV main event but it felt like it was something that mattered and that makes up for the problems. Above all else, the star power was here as you had this week’s version of the Super Best Friends against the top Smackdown villains and his cronies. That sounds like an important match and it worked out rather well, even if it was that long.

Post match Edge runs in to spear Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Cena brought the star power to the main event and that’s what mattered the most here, but the rest of the show was a bunch of quick matches (similar to this week’s Raw but not that bad). That made it feel more like a show that wasn’t designed to be a big deal on its own but rather a way to build towards the future. That’s not a bad thing, but it doesn’t make for the most thrilling show.

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Smackdown
Date: September 22, 2006
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re now officially on the way to No Mercy and we even have a main event for the show. Last week Bobby Lashley became the new #1 contender to King Booker, but tonight Booker has to face Vito. That’s what we’re getting on a Season Premiere as the show moves to a new network with the CW. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell come in to see Teddy Long. They don’t like that Booker’s hands are going to be sullied by a match with Vito because everything they have is the finest. After a look at Sharmell’s gown, Teddy has good news for them: Vito has stepped aside and Undertaker will face him instead. The accents are dropped in a hurry and panic sets in. So why advertise Vito when you could advertise Undertaker?

New opening sequence, featuring the wrestlers turning into comic book style caricatures.

William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley

Batista wants to start with Finlay but gets jumped by Regal instead. That goes as well as you would expect for Regal, who gets sent into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Finlay runs away from Batista on the floor so Batista settles for a spinebuster to Regal instead. Lashley comes in for a double delayed vertical suplex (not bad) and a snap suplex gets two on Regal. It’s off to Finlay, who gets caught in a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker but a low bridge puts Lashley on the floor.

Regal nails a clothesline and the villains (you know they’re villains because Regal’s trunks say “villain”) take over with Finlay dropping some elbows. It’s back to Finlay, who mocks Lashley for not being able to make the tag and kicks him in the ribs like an evil one would do. Regal’s t-bone suplex gets two as JBL talks about how much he can’t stand the French, Canadians or French Canadians. Regal jumps Batista on the apron so Batista comes in sans tag and cleans house. The Shillelagh is taken away from Regal so Lashley can nail the spear for the pin.

Rating: C. Nicely done here as they give Lashley a bit of a boost and let Batista vs. Finlay stay on the burner, likely for a showdown at No Mercy. They didn’t have much time here but the formula can work out well in short bursts too so this worked out fine. Good choice for an opener on the new network too, with a star like Batista and a hard hitting fight to give Lashley some nice exposure.

Here’s Layla, who promises to make Smackdown hot and dances a lot. Cue Krystal to say not so fast because she’s the hot one, meaning the brawl is on. Jillian Hall runs in for the save and rips off Krystal’s top. Then she rips off Layla’s top, followed by her own. And we move on.

Long video on Rey Mysterio and Chavo Guerrero being friends/family and then splitting up over Chavo and Vickie Guerrero not liking Rey cashing in on the Guerrero name. Still a totally fair point.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. They go straight at it with Helms being backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Helms slips out of something off the top and snaps Hardy throat first across the top. A swinging neckbreaker gives Helms two and an elbow drop gets the same. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Helms hits what would eventually become the Codebreaker for two more.

Hardy jawbreaks his way out of another chinlock and grabs the Side Effect for two. A moonsault press gets two on more on Helms, who is right back with the Shining Wizard for the same. Helms goes for the turnbuckle pad so the referee puts it back on, allowing Hardy to hit a low blow into the rollup pin (ala Helms last week).

Rating: C. Hardy doing the same thing to Helms as the previous week was a nice touch, but I’m still not sure what the point of this feud is if Hardy can’t (and doesn’t seem interested in) win the Cruiserweight Title. The wrestling was fine enough, but it feels like we’re going in circles here. I know the title doesn’t mean anything, so why is it even a thing at this point?

Miz promises to win his next match.

Jimmy Wang Yang thought about debuting tonight but doesn’t feel very comfortable in Montreal. Not too many rednecks you see, so we’ll do it in Oklahoma next week.

Miz vs. Funaki

They fight over wrist control to start with Miz wristdragging him down. Another takedown sets up a suplex, followed by the Mizard of Oz (which lands in a reverse DDT this time instead of a neckbreaker) to keep Miz undefeated. Keeping Miz short is the right idea at the moment.

Rey Mysterio has had it with the Guerreros and today is the first day of the rest of his life.

Video on the Marine.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo. They start fast again with Rey hammering away to take it to the floor. The fight goes into the crowd with Rey still getting the better of things until his hurricanrana is sent into the barricade. Things go back into the crowd and Rey sends him into the barricade over and over. Rey doesn’t seem to notice that the referee is telling him it’s over and they get back to ringside with Chavo getting kicked in the ribs. Vickie throws Chavo a chair, which Rey dropkicks off his face. Vickie’s interference doesn’t work as Rey hammers away again and referees come in to break it up. I’m not sure this was a match.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match as it was much more of a brawl than anything else, but I want to see these two fight again, which is a lot more than I could say coming in. You could feel the anger and hatred here and that’s the best thing that could happen in a segment like this. Good stuff and I’m sure No Mercy waits for them.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show. I think you can get why she has a job.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

London and Kendrick are defending and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. It’s a brawl to start with James, Kendrick and Noble getting things going. The Pitbulls beat on Stevens and Kash pounds him down for two. Stevens breaks that up and Kash gets knocked down into the corner, including a snapmare for two more.

Kendrick comes back and hammers away, allowing the hot tag off to London to pick the pace way up. A dropkick gets two on Stevens with the Pit Bulls making the save. Michelle gets on the apron for no apparent reason as Kash brainbusters London. Sliced Bread takes Kash down but Stevens hits a heck of a spinebuster on Kendrick. Noble sends him outside and rolls London up, only to get reversed into another rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. As the champs tend to do, they got in and out without wasting time and had a high energy match. They really have become one of the most consistently entertaining things on Smackdown and this should be the blowoff to the three way feud. I’m sure it won’t be because there aren’t any other teams to come after them, but at least they had a nice match here.

Elijah Burke introduces Sylvester Terkay. Sylvester: “I’m Sylvester Terkay.” End of segment.

Video on Batista visiting the Philippines.

Here’s Sylvan to a crazy hero’s welcome and he seems fired up to be here. After saying something in French, we’re ready to go.

Sylvan vs. Tatanka

Sylvan chops away to start but Tatanka comes back with some right hands and is booed out of the building. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock but Sylvan is back with a spinebuster. There’s a dropkick to put Tatanka down again and a spinning belly to back slam gets two more. Tatanka tries a sunset flip but Sylvan sits down and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was nothing to see here but WOW that crowd was behind Sylvan. That is the kind of thing that has never happened before and will probably never happen again, but thankfully WWE was smart enough to capitalize on it once. Let the fans have something to cheer and let a scrub like Tatanka take another loss. This was nice to see and I don’t get to say that very often.

John Cena visits Teddy Long and thanks him for the contract offer that was ready had Cena lost at Unforgiven. Long has an idea: Cena visits Smackdown next week and teams with Batista and Bobby Lashley against William Regal/Finlay/King Booker. Cena is in and leaves so Long dances in celebration.

No Mercy rundown with Batista vs. Finlay and Mysterio vs. Guerrero announced.

King Booker vs. Undertaker

Non-title, Sharmell is here with Booker and Mr. Kennedy is on commentary. Kennedy gets freaked out by Undertaker’s entrance and JBL isn’t much better. Undertaker strikes away to start and knocks Booker to the floor early on. We take a break and come back with Undertaker hammering away even more, setting up the knuckle lock lift to have Booker in more trouble. The arm is wrapped around the top rope but Old School is broken up.

A Sharmell distraction lets Booker grab a superplex and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Booker knocks him outside for a ram into the steps, followed by a DDT for two. The side kick misses though and Undertaker hits a jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot gets two but Booker is back with the jumping kick to the face. Undertaker is right back to load up the Tombstone but Booker slips out and hits a low blow for the DQ.

Rating: C. As has been the case almost all night, this was all about making an appearance rather than the match itself. Undertaker being in the ring is still a treat and it was a good idea to have him on a special show. These two haven’t always had the best chemistry but they weren’t out there very long and it’s not like the bad finish came after a pay per view title match.

Post match here’s Bobby Lashley to throw Booker back inside, meaning it’s a chokeslam and Tombstone. Undertaker stares down at Kennedy to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show where the wrestling did not really matter but the presentation was very good. For a season premiere on a new network, they did a great job of keeping things moving and having all of the big names come in and out throughout the show. They set up things both for the pay per view and next week so some fans might want to come back again. I don’t get impressed by WWE very often but they did a rather nice job here and that’s great to see.

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Smackdown
Date: September 15, 2006
Location: DCU Arena, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re on the way to getting ready for No Mercy and the big story coming out of last week was Finlay attacking Batista to cost him the World Title. The post match beatdown would suggest a hoss fight between Finlay and Batista, which could make for one heck of a brawl. I’m not sure what else to expect from this one so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Finlay, with the Leprechaun (under a sheet), to get things going. Finlay reminds us that he loves to fight and we see a clip of the end of last week’s show with Batista being left bloodied. Back in the arena, Finlay talks about taking Batista’s manhood…but here’s Bobby Lashley to interrupt. What Finlay did last week was an act of cowardice and the luck of the Irish has just run out. Cue Teddy Long to make the main event with the winner facing King Booker at No Mercy for the title. The brawl is nearly on with the Leprechaun attacking Finlay by mistake. Finlay throws him to the floor.

Post break, William Regal fires up Finlay before the main event.

Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and Matt comes in through the crowd to jump Helms from behind. The Side Effect sends Helms out to the floor but he’s right back in with an elbow to the face. Matt is bleeding from the nose as a result and Helms grabs a half crab. That’s enough to make Matt crawl over to the rope so the chinlock goes on. Matt suplexes his way to freedom and hits the middle rope legdrop for two. The referee gets bumped off the kickout though and Helms hits Hardy low for the DQ.

Rating: C-. I’m glad to see the champ actually win a match but I’m not sure where this is going to go. I don’t need to see Hardy feuding with the Cruiserweight Champion when he isn’t a cruiserweight, but who else is supposed to feud with Helms for the title at this point? The match was fine, though I’m not sure where Helms is going next.

Rey Mysterio and his rather young son Dominik are here. Dean Malenko says hi.

Jimmy Wang Yang is tired of the “Orientals” straight off the boat not being able to pronounce things. He’s a real redneck from Georgia though.

The Miz vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty knocks him down to start but Miz is back up with a running shoulder. Miz flips out of a hiptoss and snaps off a good armdrag. The stomping ensues in the corner and a neckbreaker lets Miz choke. JBL freaks out over Cole comparing him to Miz, especially when Cole lists off Miz’s reality shows as accomplishments. JBL: “SO WAS HULK HOGAN’S SON NICK!” Scotty fights up with a flying forearm and the Worm is loaded up but Miz bails to the apron before Scotty…..whatever it is that he does. Miz snaps his neck across the top and hits a swinging neckbreaker (the Mizard of Oz) for the pin.

Rating: D+. I know it’s not that big of a deal but Miz got in a few moves here and looked a bit more polished than usual. Miz has a very long way to go but there is a charisma to him that makes me want to keep watching him. If nothing else, hearing JBL lose his mind over everything Miz does is worth a laugh.

Remember John Cena being in the Marine? He’s still in it.

Brian Kendrick vs. Kid Kash vs. Idol Stevens

Paul London, Ashley, KC James, Michelle McCool and Jamie Noble are all at ringside. Kash and Stevens slug it out to start but commentary ignores the match to talk about King Booker being invited to ECW next week. Kash and Stevens start double teaming Kendrick but get in the required fight over the cover. Kendrick fights up and dropkicks them both down but Kash’s release suplex cuts him off. Stevens is sent outside though and it’s a tornado DDT to give Kendrick the pin on Kash.

Rating: C. It was a short match but the time was spent on nothing but action, which is all you can hope for in a match like this. Kendrick and London continue looking good and it’s nice to have a few teams challenging them for a change. I’m not sure I can imagine them losing the titles, but it’s nice to have something going on instead of having the champions floating around.

William Regal is talking to King Booker and Queen Sharmell. Finlay comes in and Booker wants to talk about the #1 contenders match. The Court cannot be shaken up but Finlay is fighting tonight.

Rey Mysterio leaves Dominik in the locker room to watch his match. Oh Rey, you glorious moron.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Kennedy

Non-title. During Rey’s entrance, Chavo and Vickie Guerrero go into the locker room to watch the match with Dominik. Kennedy takes him to the mat and grabs a chinlock as Cole goes into a rant about the Guerreros. Rey’s springboard crossbody is broken up and Kennedy slams him down, setting up a reverse chinlock. Back up and a hard whip into the corner gives Kennedy two more, followed by a spinebuster to cut Rey off again.

Kennedy keeps mixing things up (thank you) with a seated abdominal stretch. Mysterio gets up again and this time it’s the wheelbarrow bulld….actually a DDT for a change, followed by a kick to the head for two. Back up and Kennedy catapults him chest first into the buckle (which Cole sees as head first into the post, despite the foot and a half between the two). Rey is right back with the 619 to send Kennedy outside and a springboard corkscrew dive takes Kennedy down again.

We take a break and come back with Kennedy stomping away in the corner. Rey’s back is sent hard into the corner with his back bending around the post for a nasty landing. The standing abdominal stretch goes on this time as JBL explodes about dealing with problems while in the ring and yells at Cole for defending Mysterio. Those rants are still great. Kennedy puts Rey down but misses the Kenton Bomb, allowing Mysterio to get two off a springboard seated senton. Cue the Guerreros with Dominik for a distraction though and Kennedy grabs the rollup pin.

Rating: C+. This was kind of a weird one as they were building to a good match but it was pretty clear that something was going to happen with the Guerreros and Dominik. That’s what should have happened but I was into the match and the ending is a bit annoying. Still though, good stuff here as they continue the idea of Rey being distracted and don’t have a champion lose.

We get a special message pair for by MVP’s worldwide fan base.

MVP talks about how he is not scared to sign a contract with Smackdown. Teddy Long needs to bring the check and sign him up.

Vito vs. William Regal

Regal is so angry at Vito’s actions last week that he dropped the lawsuit to set up this match. Vito grabs a headlock so Regal rolls him up, meaning it’s time for the blurry censoring. JBL loses it again over what he is having to watch as Regal forearms Vito down without much effort. JBL: “WHY CAN HE NOT KEEP HIS DRESS DOWN??? HE’S LIKE HALF OF OUR DIVAS!” Vito makes the comeback and pulls the dress up, only to get taken down into a hammerlock. Back up and Vito sends him outside so Regal tries a sunset flip, only to have Vito sit down on it (with the dress going over Regal’s face) for the pin.

Rating: D. Regal and JBL made this a lot easier to sit through and I guess it’s an upgrade over having Vito beat up jobbers in the same way over and over again. At least he’s sticking with the lower level stuff and it’s not like this is taking up any serious time week to week. It’s not funny, but it could be a heck of a lot worse.

Regal’s stunned face makes up for a lot of this.

Raw Rebound.

King Booker isn’t happy with Teddy Long, who isn’t overly worried. Booker promises to beat everyone but here’s Vito to interrupt. That doesn’t please Booker, so Vito says try him. Teddy makes the match for next week so Vito raises the dress. So much for everything I said a few minutes ago.

Sylvester Terkay vs. Todd Smith

Smith grabs a headlock to start and gets shoved down for his efforts. Terkay knees him in the ribs as we hear about how awesome Terkay is at everything. A belly to back suplex puts Smith down for some forearms to the face (JBL on Terkay and Elijah Burke: “We have not seen an interracial team as good as this since the APA.”) and an armbar makes Smith tap. Smith would do a bit better when he bulked up, grew a heck of a beard and changed his name to Ivar.

Fit Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

The winner gets King Booker, on commentary with Queen Sharmell (and William Regal off headset), for the title at No Mercy. They take their time to start with Lashley backing him into the corner. A shoulder puts Finlay down and the cover sends him bailing out to the floor. Back in and Finlay sends him outside for a change but gets run over again.

We take a break and come back with Finlay working on the leg, which he damaged during the break. The leg is sent into the post and we hit the half crab as Cole accuses Booker of sweating Crisco. For some reason this is deemed racist so we’ll cut back to Lashley kicking Finlay in the face to start the comeback. A clothesline to the back of the head gives Lashley two and a torture rack goes on.

Lashley drops down into a backbreaker for two so Regal throws in a chair for a distraction. Finlay grabs the Shillelagh but can’t swing it, as Lashley gorilla presses him instead. Regal offers another distraction so the Leprechaun throws Finlay the Shillelagh again but this time the referee sees him hit Lashley for the DQ.

Rating: C. These two know each other rather well and they had a nice match here, as Finlay stays strong and Lashley gets to move on to something bigger and more important. What we got here did its job well enough and could set up some issues with Booker and Finlay going forward, even if it’s a little early to consider breaking up the Court so far.

Post match the beatdown is on but here’s Batista (from his car in the parking lot, with his music playing) with a pipe to go after Finlay. Lashley spears Booker to the floor (Booker: “I’M GONNA BUST YO A**!”) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s more of the same from Smackdown as there are enough things going on around here to make me like the show but at the same time, a lot of the stuff just makes me want to move to anything else. The show was far from terrible, but at the same time, the lower card still has some major holes. Fix those things up and this is probably the best show going at the moment, assuming it isn’t already.

Smackdown
Date: September 8, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We have a major match this time around as Batista is challenging Booker T. for the World Title in a rematch from Summerslam. In other words, this is the big special edition episode since there is no Smackdown pay per view this month. These things have hit and miss results but hopefully they can live up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

JBL and Cole are on their feet for their intro this week. I don’t remember the last time I saw that. Anyway they preview the main event.

Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey is a bit shaken up after what Chavo and Vickie Guerrero have been up to as of late. The Leprechaun is seen looking from underneath the ring skirt during Rey’s entrance. Eh fair enough as it’s not like he’s a surprise most of the time. Finlay powers him around to start so Rey kicks at the knee in a smart move. That earns him a hard atomic drop to cut him down again, allowing Finlay to wrestle him down without much effort. The headlock goes on for a bit, followed by a gutwrench suplex for two on Rey.

We take a break and come back with Rey still not all there and getting put into a nerve hold as a result. That lasts all of five seconds as Rey is back up with a headscissors for two, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe. A backbreaker out of the corner gets two and Finlay drives him back first into the corner again.

The some city in Ireland crab goes on but Rey gets a leg out and kicks Finlay in the face. That doesn’t work on someone as mean as Finlay, so he switches to a kneeling half crab. Rey fights up again and starts kicking at the leg for the real comeback, including the springboard seated senton for two. Another springboard doesn’t work though as Rey slips and it’s the Celtic Cross for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was an interesting way to go as Rey was messed up in the head and Finlay was good enough to take advantage of what happened. Rey vs. the Guerreros seems like it could be a long form story but it is also nice to see Finlay getting a boost out of it. He has had a nice run in WWE so far and I could go for seeing a lot more of it soon.

Post match JBL gets in the ring to ask Rey what’s wrong (or asking why the Guerreros think Rey is a piece of garbage) but Rey leaves without saying anything.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Danny Giamondo

Non-title and Kennedy says Giamondo is a former Olympic silver medalist in power lifting and a six time NCAA Champion. Cole can’t find any of that information anywhere, even as Kennedy takes him into the ropes and chokes on the rope. The neck crank doesn’t last long as Giamondo fights up and hammers away in the corner. That’s about it though as Kennedy blocks a superplex attempt and hits the Green Bay Plunge to win.

Post match Kennedy calls out Teddy Long to say he might go to Raw if John Cena comes to Smackdown. Long doesn’t like that, so Kennedy can face the Undertaker at No Mercy. It’s a meme for a reason.

Video on the Marine.

Michelle McCool/Teacher’s Pets vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Ashley Massaro

Stevens and London start things off with neither being able to get very far off a headlock. James comes in and gets his arm cranked, with everyone getting a shot in on said arm. Stevens low bridges London to the floor though and it’s a chinlock back inside. London grabs a rollup for two and gets over for the hot tag to Kendrick. Everything breaks down with the women getting in a fight, with the focus being on the skirts flying up. Kendrick comes off the top with a sunset flip to James, with London adding a dropkick so Kendrick can get the pin.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time here but the women being there does keep the match feeling different enough. The tag team division is hardly deep at the moment but there are enough teams out there for London and Kendrick to face for the next few….ok maybe not months but they should be fine at least through No Mercy. If nothing else, London and Kendrick are fun to watch.

Video on King Booker.

Vito comes out to do commentary for William Regal’s match. Regal comes out to say this was supposed to be against Vito, but after last week, Regal was considering a sexual harassment lawsuit. As Vito shows off his legs, we have a replacement.

William Regal vs. Bobby Lashley

Vito is on commentary as Lashley powers Regal into the corner to start and then pulls him back inside. Regal is sent outside and Vito pulls up the dress to show off the thong. That’s enough to have Regal panicking again so he pulls Lashley face first into the steps instead. Back in and Regal slugs away in the corner, only to charge into a boot to the face. Lashley can’t hit the powerslam but he can hit the spear for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was more about Vito, so at least he’s doing something other than beating up jobbers. It’s still not exactly a story that has any kind of legs to the whole thing but I’ll take any kind of a change over the same stuff if it has to be around. I’m not sure how long this is going to go, but Regal and Vito could have some comedy possibilities.

Post match JBL runs away from Vito’s handshake. Lashley shakes his hand though and there’s your endorsement.

The Miz vs. Matt Hardy

Miz insults the crowd before the match, including the local Little League World Series Champions. JBL classes things up by making all kinds of gay jokes about Cole and Vito before switching to something a little better by saying it’s stupid to brag about Miz being undefeated when he’s 1-0.

Matt starts fast by pulling Miz out of the corner into a powerbomb but Miz knocks him down in a hurry. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Miz fights up and hammers away as JBL is ranting about reality TV. Matt’s middle rope elbow to the head gets two and he sends Miz outside for a slingshot dive. Back in and the referee gets bumped, allowing Gregory Helms to run down and shove Matt off the top. Miz grabs a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. The action worked while it lasted and Miz getting to brag about being undefeated is going to be rather entertaining. I’ve been a fan of the guy for years and it’s fun to see one of the most improbably rises in the history of wrestling. Miz isn’t very good in the ring but he’s a great character and personality and that’s what matters here.

Jimmy Wang Yang is still coming and doesn’t like people think Asians are smart. He got straight B’s!

Chavo Guerrero vs. Tatanka

Vickie Guerrero handles Chavo’s intro and says he is dedicating this match to the Guerrero legacy. Tatanka works on the arm to start but Chavo dropkicks the knee out for a knockdown. Leg cranking ensues as JBL rants about everything Guerrero related he can think of. Tatanka fights back with the chops, including the top rope version. The Papoose To Go connects but Chavo gets his foot on the rope. That’s enough to make Tatanka yell at the referee, allowing Chavo to jump him from behind. The frog splash is enough to finish Tatanka.

Rating: D+. Does Tatanka have photos of Vince with a sheep or something? He’s far from the worst thing around but is there a reason he’s getting on TV week after week? Nothing match of course, but I’m not sure why you would expect anything else. Chavo and Vickie should be fine as a team and odds are they are going to be a focal point for a long time to come.

MVP runs into Teddy Long and says he wants John Cena money to come to Smackdown. Long is tired of dealing with MVP’s lawyers so MVP gets serious, meaning Long has to wipe the spit off of his face.

Video on Batista.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Booker is defending and Queen Sharmell handles the ALL HAIL KING BOOKER’s this week. Before the match, Booker gives Batista a chance to bow down or take this whipping. The bell rings after the break with Batista unloading in a hurry. Batista hammers away in the corner and grabs a keylock of all things.

The shoulders in the corner send Booker bailing to the floor but Batista rams him into a few things for two back inside. Booker gets in a kick to the face for two and is stunned on the kickout. We take a break and come back with Batista unloading on the floor and glaring at Sharmell for daring to get involved. An ax kick to a hanging Batista drops him to the floor and the side slam gets two back inside.

Batista fights back again and hits his own side slam for two more but Booker uses the trunks to send him outside. After decking William Regal in the crowd, Batista comes back in with the spinebuster. Sharmell grabs a chair so the referee deals with her, allowing Finlay to come in with the Shillelagh shot to the head to retain the title.

Rating: C. One of the good things about these major shows is they build things up well enough to make you believe that something could happen. I’m not sure they need to do Batista vs. Booker III at No Mercy but Batista vs. Finlay could be a heck of a power match. Booker will likely have to face Batista again but I’m not sure if that happens so soon.

Post match Finlay unloads with the Shillelagh to bust Batista open. A shot into the exposed turnbuckle and a chair to the head leave a pretty bloody Batista laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird one as there was nothing overly great on the show but they had enough stuff going on to keep my interest. In other words, it is a show that felt like it had a lot of good things to pick from but it didn’t wind up working out in the end. Smackdown continues to trot out some fresher, younger wrestlers though and that makes for a pretty quick two hours. Not a great show, but an easy one to watch.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: September 1, 2006
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are a long way off from No Mercy but it seems that we are going to be moving towards Batista vs. King Booker II for the World Title. I’m not sure how much interest there is going to be in seeing that match again. Other than that….uh…..well last week was the post Summerslam show so we don’t have much to build towards. Does Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero count? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vickie Guerrero officially joining forces with Chavo Guerrero (I guess it does count) and helping him in the beatdown of Rey Mysterio last week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s is an upset Rey Mysterio for a chat. Rey apologizes for not being himself but he doesn’t understand what Vickie did last week. Maybe he doesn’t want to know why but he wants Vickie and Chavo out here right now. Cue Vickie sans Chavo to say Rey is one of the people who cause her to cry every day.

It’s time she thought of herself, even though Eddie Guerrero saw Rey as his brother. She sees Rey as part of her past, so he isn’t included going forward. From now on, she is going to be Chavo’s business manager, which draws the required EDDIE chant. Vickie slaps Rey in the mask to cut off said chants and storms up the aisle. Chavo joins her on stage for the posing.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. Matt shoulders him down and grabs a headlock takeover but has to fight out of a cross armbreaker attempt. Back up and Helms sends him into the corner but gets pulled out into a sitout powerbomb for two. Matt goes up top so Helms catches him with a kick to the ribs, meaning it’s a crash out to the floor.

Back in and a swinging neckbreaker drops Matt again so we hit the chinlock. Make that a figure four necklock but Matt fights up again, only to get driven into the corner. A heck of a clothesline drops Helms and the Side Effect gives Matt two. There’s a middle rope elbow to the top of the head but Matt misses the moonsault press. Instead Matt ducks a title shot to the head and grabs a jackknife rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was fine enough, but I’m not sure what the point is in having a feud like this when Matt isn’t even a cruiserweight. What exactly is this building towards other than making the Cruiserweight Champion look weaker? Matt winning by avoiding some cheating was fine, but the title has been weak for a long time and now it is getting worse.

Mr. Kennedy asks Finlay for a US Title shot and Teddy Long is willing to make the match. He wants it to be bigger though, so Finlay says let’s make it a cage match. Kennedy says let’s make it a barbed wire steel cage match. Finlay: “How about I take you out back and beat the h*** out of you right now?” The match is on for later tonight.

Miz vs. Tatanka

This is Miz’s debut, sending JBL into a rant over his weird shorts. After a quick intro from Miz, he drives Tatanka into the corner but spends too much time HOO-RAHing, allowing Tatanka to switch places with him. Granted Tatanka doesn’t do anything to follow up, but he does switch places. Miz hits the stereotypical war dance for this week’s mockery so Tatanka chops him down.

The arm work begins, but JBL thinks he has it worse for having to watch Miz. Tatanka goes shoulder first into the post and Miz’s belly to back suplex gets two. The cobra clutch goes on so Tatanka is up in a hurry to slug away. Now the war dance sets up more chops to keep Miz down, including one to the floor. Back in and Miz sends Tatanka into the referee and grabs a backslide, with feet on the ropes, for the win.

Rating: D. This is one of those moments that kind of blows your mind when you know what it is going to mean. If nothing else, the idea of hearing JBL’s reaction to knowing where Miz’s career would go is hilarious. Miz wouldn’t get good in the ring for a LONG time, but he has a weird charisma that makes me want to see more of him.

John Cena is in the Marine.

US Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay

Kennedy is challenging….but hang on because here’s Teddy Long to make it a triple threat (Pla…..actually that doesn’t work here so we’ll move on.).

US Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Finlay is defending but it’s Kennedy trying to get an alliance going, earning himself a belly to belly from Lashley. Kennedy and Finlay do get together to beat Lashley down but Kennedy sends Finlay shoulder first into the post. The Kenton Bomb gets two on Lashley so Finlay puts Kennedy in the Boston crab. That’s broken up again so Finlay kicks Kennedy outside to brawl with Lashley.

Finlay gets sent outside in a hurry though so Lashley throws Kennedy inside instead. A suplex gets two on Kennedy with Finlay making the save. Lashley hits a gorilla press gutbuster to drop Finlay again, only to get jumped by Kennedy. Finlay sends Kennedy throat first into the bottom rope and pulls Lashley outside. Kennedy gets caught in the ring skirt so Finlay can pummel away but Lashley breaks that up. A delayed vertical suplex drops Kennedy on the floor but the Leprechaun pokes his head out from underneath the ring.

We take a break and come back with Lashley getting double teamed in the corner, with the alliance lasting all of thirty seconds. Finlay shoves Kennedy down so Kennedy punches him in the face, allowing Lashley to come back, only to get stomped down in the corner. The double teaming has Lashley in more trouble but Finlay turns on Kennedy again, which makes me chuckle for a change.

Cue the Leprechaun to beat up Kennedy as well, allowing Finlay to get two on Kennedy back inside. Lashley is back up and cleans house on Finlay, who can’t even get in a Shillelagh shot. The running powerslam connects for Lashley but Kennedy sneaks back in and rolls Lashley up with trunks to win the title.

Rating: C. They went a bit longer on this one than they needed to and I’m not wild on the stolen ending pin, but it makes sense to get the title on Kennedy. WWE has treated him like a big deal for a long time now so putting the title on him is one of those things that had to be done. Putting Lashley in there was a good idea as they needed to keep Finlay strong and they got the ending right, so well done.

We look at King Booker escaping Summerslam with the World Title over Batista.

Raw Rebound.

MVP, surrounded by his women, come to their ringside seats.

Vito vs. William Regal

Regal (rocking the red white and blue robe) looks disturbed by Vito, and says King Booker wants Vito to know that he isn’t the toughest man to ever wear a dress. Some shoulders put Regal down to start so Vito pulls the dress up to scare the heck out of him. That earns Vito some shots to the back of the head but Vito fights up again. The dress goes over Regal’s head so Regal, looking TERRIFIED, bails for the countout.

Jimmy Wang Yang is enjoying some ribs and doesn’t like being asked about Japanese restaurants. I’m kind of liking these things.

Michael Cole talks to MVP, who insists that he is not hiding behind his agent and would gladly beat up Batista and Bobby Lashley. He’s a world class athlete and no one here deserves to be in his presence.

Pitbulls vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Non-title and the Pitbulls jump the champs from behind to start. Some double dropkicks put Jamie Noble on the floor and it’s time to start in on Kid Kash’s arm. A top rope double stomp to Kash’s standing back gives London two and he knocks Noble off the apron for a bonus. Noble pulls London outside though and hammers away, allowing Kash to hit a release vertical suplex for two.

A double clothesline drops London again and they even draw Kendrick in to keep up the beating. Noble gets in some trash talk in the corner but London manages to send him face first into the buckle. That’s enough for the tag off to Kendrick and the pace picks up in a hurry. Everything breaks down and London shoves Kash off the top, leaving Kendrick to roll Noble up for the pin.

Rating: C. Hokey smoke the champs won a match! I know they’re smaller guys but they have some really good chemistry and look like a team who are thinking as one out there. The young high fliers are always going to work as a concept and that is what we have here. The Pitbulls work well in the ring too but they have a lot of size issues to overcome due to the style they’re using. It works, but it could go south rather easily.

Post match here are KC James and Idol Stevens to drop the champs and stare the Pitbulls down.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

Here is Teddy Long to call out King Booker (with Sharmell) and Batista to sign the contract for their rematch next week. They both come out (Batista can always rock a suit) and Booker thanks Thaddeus (JBL: “Thaddeus?”) before saying Batista couldn’t beat him at the Summerslam Games.

A King shouldn’t be breathing the same air as a peasant like him. Batista says Booker (Booker: “THAT’S KING BOOKER!”) kept the title via a technicality so Booker calls him a peasant again. They both sign but Booker takes a swing, earning a spinebuster….ok not quite through the table, but the second one puts him through it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty flat show and the wrestling didn’t help things very much. I’m a bit surprised at the title match taking place next week instead of at No Mercy but at least they aren’t stretching it out far longer than they should. I’m liking the pushes/debuted of Miz, MVP and Kennedy, as it’s nice to see a new generation coming together. There is something of a future coming together, but it’s still kind of off in the distance at the moment.

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