Smackdown
Date: April 18, 2008
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 17,422
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’ll finish up the England excursion here with the blue guys. These shows can be a cross between a bunch of stuff mainly for the live fans and a show that actually matters so we could be in for either here. Backlash is almost here though and Edge vs. Undertaker II is down for the main event so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel to get things going. Jericho reminds us that he is the guest referee for the Backlash match between Shawn Michaels and his guest this week, Batista. Cue Batista, with Jericho saying he thinks Shawn relished retiring Ric Flair and all of his lies over the years. We look at a clip from Raw where Jericho made such accusations, earning himself Sweet Chin Music.

Back live, Jericho says that kick proved him correct and for that, Jericho says you’re welcome to Batista. That’s not what Batista was looking for because he didn’t need Jericho to speak for him. Batista says this is between himself and Shawn so Jericho has nothing to do with this. Jericho offers some analysis: Batista is upset at Shawn for retiring Ric Flair because he wanted to do it himself. We get a quick fan pole about Jericho’s claims but Batista takes him out with the Batista Bomb.

Tommy Dreamer vs. MVP

Non-title and Matt Hardy is on commentary. Dreamer slugs away to start and grabs an armbar, which doesn’t last long. MVP gets in a shoulder to the ribs before sending him throat first into the bottom rope. Some more knockdowns set up Ballin for two but Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner. The comeback is on including a neckbreaker to give Dreamer two. The DDT gets the same but MVP sends him shoulder first into the post. A running boot in the corner finishes Dreamer off.

Rating: C. Not quite a squash here but it was there to have MVP get a quick win over someone the fans care about. Dreamer got in a few shots here and there but it was done in about five minutes, as it should be. Now they just need to get to MVP vs. Hardy, which is more than a bit overdue.

Hornswoggle vs. Matt Striker

This is revenge for Hornswoggle helping inlay beat Striker last week. Before the match, Striker goes on a rant about how unfair this is when he is far too smart. Hold on because Hornswoggle, with Finlay, starts with some juggling before throwing the tennis balls at Striker. Then it’s some squirt guns, followed by some bigger water guns. Striker finally gets smart by going after Finlay on the floor before finally taking Hornswoggle down and hammering away. The Shillelagh is picked up but the referee takes it away, allowing Finlay to get in his own shot to Striker’s head. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: C. It’s kind of hard to get annoyed at anyone, including Hornswoggle, beating up a goof like Striker. The only reason he is around is to get beaten up like this and it being all goofy made it better. They didn’t waste a ton of time on this and it wasn’t meant to be anything more than a quick joke.

Big Show didn’t care for Great Khali giving him a goat and a chicken last week. Tonight he has Mark Henry, which is going to be a big showdown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble

Bam Neely is here with Chavo. Noble takes him down by the leg to start but Chavo is back up with a running shoulder. Chavo’s headlock on the mat doesn’t last long as they trade rollups for two each until the armbar goes on. Back up and Noble grabs a northern lights suplex for two but Chavo knocks him down and Eddie dances. Noble manages a quickly broken up Sharpshooter attempt so Chavo necksnaps him across the top. The frog splash finishes Noble off.

Rating: C-. Talented people don’t always make for the most interesting matches as this was a good bit of chinlocking before Chavo finished him off. Chavo beating up a former Cruiserweight Champion and having an impressive looking bodyguard isn’t going to make him all that much more interesting. I’m sure he’ll still be near the top of ECW for the time being though because of course he will be, but it’s not quite working.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

They shove each other away from a lockup to start until Henry knocks him away. The bearhug goes on to keep Show in place until a shove and superkick get Show out of trouble. There’s a chokeslam to Henry but cue Great Khali to come out and go after Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it was mainly spent in a bearhug with some shoving included. The idea of getting Show ready for Khali was fine but the match was pretty lame on the way there. Then again the idea of Show vs. Khali in a featured match could be rough, even if it wouldn’t be much bigger than this.

Post match the brawl is on with Khali hitting a chokebomb (with Show pretty clearly doing all of the work).

Backlash rundown.

Video on Batista vs. Undertaker before tonight’s main event.

Victoria vs. Cherry

Natalya and Michelle McCool are here too. Victoria powers her down into the corner to start and then hits a clothesline to cut off the comeback. Cherry grabs a rollup out of the corner for two but Victoria slaps on a reverse chinlock. Victoria keeps up the beating and trash talking but Victoria makes the mistake of yelling at Michelle. In a totally original ending, the distraction lets Cherry grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. So many of these women’s matches are just dreadful as there’s nothing to them since they rarely get any time and often involve someone who really can’t do anything in the ring. It also doesn’t help that there’s nothing on the line, so why should I get invested here? Cherry doesn’t wrestle often, but when your big weapon is a rollup, what are you supposed to do?

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Leroy Kincaid

Kincaid is in pretty good shape. Kozlov works on the arm to start and shoves him away before hitting a headbutt to the chest. An overhead belly to belly sets up the reverse DDT to give Kozlov the easy win.

Video on Edge vs. Undertaker.

Edge and the Edgeheads have front row tickets.

Batista vs. Undertaker

Non-title. Undertaker takes him into the corner to start and gets two off a clothesline. Batista hits the corner shoulders and elbows Undertaker in the face for two of his own. The running DDT drops Batista again and Undertaker stomps away in the corner. Old School is broken up and it’s a double clothesline to leave them both down. We take a break and come back with Undertaker choking on the ropes and staying on the arm.

Old School is blocked again and a superplex brings Undertaker back down for one. Undertaker is right back on the arm and now Old School connects. They go outside with Batista being dropped onto the barricade for two but he’s right back with the spear. That bangs up the arm though and a delayed cover only gets two. Batista dumps him to the floor and they brawl at ringside until it’s a double countout.

Rating: B-. This was a way to get the stars in the ring to continue one of the biggest feuds of the last year or so. The ending was a good way to protect both of them before their major pay per view matches but even the two of them in a match like this feels like something special. There aren’t many options that can make something that work but they got the right one here.

Post match the brawl stays on with Edge and the Edgeheads being drawn in so they can get beaten up too. Edge escapes so here is Vickie Guerrero (with an EXCUSE ME) to say that Edge and the Edgeheads are members of the audience so lawsuits could be filed. No worry though, because their justice will come when it’s Undertaker vs. Batista for the title next week, with the winner facing Edge at Backlash.

Overall Rating: C. Much like this week’s ECW, there wasn’t much to be seen here other than one match. These England shows tend to be more like that but the spectacle does often work. Things will be back to normal next week as Backlash gets closer and we head back stateside, but for now it’s one match worth seeing and little else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Gresham

We are on the road to Backlash and believe it or not, Edge is already getting his rematch after losing the World Title at Wrestlemania. Undertaker isn’t overly pleased and that rarely works out well for anyone else. Other than that, Batista isn’t happy with Raw’s Shawn Michaels, which almost has to be better than the last time he fought someone from Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Great Khali is in the ring with a bunch of dancers and two shirtless guys. Apparently this is a Punjabi Peace Offering to Big Show. One of the men explains the concept and is about to quote Gandhi when Big Show comes out. Show isn’t interested as the ring clears, save for one of the men and the giants.

The offering is some sort of spiritual water, followed by a bottle of the world’s finest scotch. Show drinks it but cringes before being given….a black chicken so he will never be hungry? Finally Show is presented with a goat, so he will never be thirsty. Show says words can’t describe how he feels and he shakes Khali’s hand. Then the big right hand knocks Khali silly. That looked good.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

How many times are these teams going to fight? Non-title but we do see a clip of Miz and Morrison mocking Yang and Moore on the Dirt Sheet. Moore works on Morrison’s arm to start and Yang comes in with a dropkick for two. It’s off to Miz, who can’t get a belly to back suplex, as Yang kicks him in the face instead. Moore comes back in but gets sent throat first into the middle rope to cut him off. The slingshot elbow hits Moore and Morrison grabs the armbar.

Morrison stomps away as commentary questions Miz and Morrison’s ethical standards. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Moore’s back, which is enough to set up the comeback. Moore gets over for the tag to Yang so the pace can pick way up. The missile dropkick puts Morrison down for two but he’s back up with a kick to the face of his own for two of his own. A blind tag brings Miz back in though and a jumping neckbreaker finishes Yang.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and it’s a shame that Moore and Yang didn’t get more of a chance. That’s one of the flaws with having a division that is about two teams at most and there just wasn’t room for a makeshift pairing. Miz and Morrison continue to roll though and I’m not sure who could take the titles anytime soon.

Teddy Long watches Edge and Vickie Guerrero get a couples massage. They’re both been so stressed out and Edge is so happy to be here instead of being at the arena.

Finlay vs. Matt Striker

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and goes underneath the ring at the bell. They grapple against the ropes to start, where Hornswoggle sprays Striker with a water gun. The annoyed Striker kicks Finlay down and starts in on the arm. Finlay fight sup for the Regal Roll, setting up a catapult into the corner. Striker ties him up on the apron and hammers away, as he is known to do. Coach: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use the apron like that.” Cole: “Then you haven’t been watching Smackdown because Finlay does it every match.” Point to Cole.

Now it’s Hornswoggle with a bucket of confetti (Striker: “Get out of here Sky Low Low!”) but it doesn’t work so well. Another bucket, this one of water, works better but Striker avoids a charge into the post. Hornswoggle’s shot with an inflatable hammer (called a shillelagh but it looked like a hammer) just annoys Striker, who is distracted enough for the real shillelagh shot to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly there for the back and forth action, with the commentary being the best part. This was much more about having Finlay get back on track after his Wrestlemania loss and he got as much as he could out of beating Striker. It was a nothing match as expected, but Cole burning Coach was funny.

Post match Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.

Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

Before the match, Victoria introduces us to her new best friend: Natalya Neidhart, so we get a look at Natalya’s father Jim. Natalya says it’s about her and “When you mess with the best, you go down with the rest. Yeah baby.” With that thankfully out of the way, Michelle takes Victoria down and starts hammering away. A basement dropkick sends Victoria outside but she’s right back in with a hard clothesline. Victoria grabs a superplex for two but McCool fights back up. Natalya gets in a jacket shot though and Victoria grabs a rollup, with tights, for the win. Bad ending aside, that was a better women’s match than usual for Smackdown.

Michael Cole is in the ring and talks about how personal the issue between Shawn Michaels and Batista has become. We get a recap of their troubles, which stems from Michaels retiring Flair. Since the wrestling world can’t exist without Flair, Batista is mad at Shawn for not letting Flair win. That’s not what Flair wanted but Batista just wants Flair around (they make it sound like he’s dead). Here are Batista and Shawn to go face to face, with Shawn saying everyone, including Flair, has moved on. Well, except Batista that is, which has Shawn thinking.

Batista’s problem isn’t with Flair, but with Shawn himself. That’s true, and what Shawn did at Wrestlemania opened Batista’s eyes. The blood on Shawn’s hands isn’t getting washed out and Batista doesn’t like how Shawn got to the top. Batista was up front, which Shawn says is a luxury he had at 6’5, 280lbs. Shawn couldn’t do that and yes he did take shortcuts when he had to. He’ll knock Batista’s teeth down his throat at Backlash but for now he has to escape the Batista Bomb. The match will be good but Batista acting like the world is ending because Flair is gone is still a lot to take.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Logan

Kozlov tosses him around and finishes with the reverse DDT in less than a minute. Total destruction.

Back to the spa, where Edge and Vickie have face masks on, complete with cucumbers over their eyes. Teddy Long brings them their drinks and has to take the cucumbers away. They’re even getting matching pedicures! Teddy’s disgusted look is great.

Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo

MVP is on commentary. As MVP calls out Coach and Cole for being ranked the worst commentary team of all time (with Cole no selling it), Matt reverses a headlock into a hammerlock. With that broken up, Palumbo kicks him in the back and cranks on the neck. Matt fights up and enziguris his way to freedom and they both crash out to the floor. That of course means an MVP distraction so Palumbo can jump Matt from behind and take over.

We take a break and come back with Matt fighting out of another neck crank. Palumbo suplexes him down and grabs a third neck crank, followed by a fourth because Palumbo seems a bit limited in the ring. Another comeback lets Matt grab a Side Effect to take over and Palumbo’s missed charge goes into the post. There’s the middle rope elbow to the back of the head but Palumbo plants Hardy for two. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. Palumbo’s usefulness continues to be putting others over as angry biker only has so much of a shelf life. Hardy is on a bit of a roll and is getting somewhere on the way to his US Title shot against MVP. Taking the title is going to be a bit easier said than done, but at least we are FINALLY getting to that point.

Post match MVP poses at Hardy and walks off.

Jesse and Festus are nervous about the latter’s match against Undertaker tonight.

Backlash rundown.

Undertaker vs. Festus

Non-title and Jesse is here with Festus. Undertaker starts fast with a big boot before going after the arm, including Old School. Festus manages a powerslam for two and hammers away in the corner. Another boot to the face and a clothesline give Undertaker two and they fight to the floor. Festus rams him into the barricade a few times and they head inside, where Festus’ right hands send Undertaker outside again.

Undertaker isn’t having that and sends him into the steps, setting up another kick to the head. Back in and Undertaker hits the running DDT and starts hammering away in the corner. They slug it out until Undertaker has to escape a fireman’s carry and grabs the chokeslam for two. Festus fights up and slugs away but the referee gets bumped. With the referee down, Undertaker grabs the triangle choke and, after a good while, the referee comes back in to say Festus is out.

Rating: C+. Undertaker gave Festus a lot more than I would have expected here, as Festus got to beat Undertaker up for a few minutes. The ending was a good way to make Undertaker’s choke feel dangerous, which is quite the upgrade for someone who is already such a monster. Festus showed something here though, and that is how unnecessary Jesse is to his success.

Post match Jesse runs in and breaks it up to protect Festus. Undertaker looks down at them and doesn’t appear happy before posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They kept this show moving despite very little actually happening. Undertaker being in the ring always feels like something special, even if he was facing someone like Festus. Other than that, Backlash is pretty much set and now we need to just get to the show in a few weeks. Some of the stories still need some more polish though and we could be getting some of that until we get to the pay per view. Not a great show here, but it held things in place well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: March 14, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,121
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and the focus continues to be on Edge vs. the Undertaker. This time though, Edge is veering off to team with the Edgeheads against Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair in a cage match. That’s certainly a unique enough one to go with so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is hometown girl Maria to get things going. She is excited for Bunnymania but tonight, she is hosting the Smackdown Divas Contest so here are the rest of the women. We waste no time in eliminating Maryse, meaning it’s time for this week’s contest. All four of the remaining women (Eve Torres, Michelle McCool, Cherry, Victoria) run the course….with time not counting, because the fan vote decides who is eliminated anyway. McCool wins as at least this was short.

Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels are ready for the main event.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Show shoves them down without much trouble and tosses Yang into Moore in the corner. The chops rock Moore again and Yang gets tossed so hard that he almost spins around. The big right hand pins Moore in a hurry.

Post match Show tosses Yang ala Floyd Mayweather Jr. on Raw.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: John Morrison vs. The Miz

Morrison doesn’t waste time by grabbing a rollup for a fast two. Back up and Miz hits a middle rope clothesline for one and it’s time for Morrison to bail to the floor. Miz cranks on a headlock before forearming away. That’s fine with Morrison, who sweeps the legs into a jackknife rollup for two more. The flipping neckbreaker is blocked though and Miz faceplants him for two of his own. Morrison isn’t pleased and pops back up with the flipping neckbreaker to finish Miz off.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here and that is about all you could expect from them. Miz isn’t that far along (though he’s coming) and Morrison is the bigger and more successful star. No one would buy Miz as a threat to win the briefcase and while Morrison isn’t that much better of an option, he’s the better option than Miz at the moment.

Video on JBL vs. Finlay, leading to their Belfast Brawl at Wrestlemania.

Finlay joins us via satellite, saying there are no words to describe what it’s like to look at Hornswoggle in his hospital bed. At Wrestlemania, there will be no words to describe the beating he is going to give JBL.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending and this is no holds barred. They go nose to nose to start until MVP bails to the floor to avoid a charge. Back in and Batista sends him face first into the buckle before a big kick to the chest gets two. An elbow to the head gives Batista two more but MVP is right back up with an overhead belly to belly of all things. MVP gets smart by hitting him in the face with a chain and then chokes away with it back inside.

Batista breaks that up so MVP tears off a buckle pad, only to walk into a spinebuster. It’s too early for Batista to follow up though and MVP gets in a chair shot to the ribs. They go outside with MVP being sent into the barricade and Batista being sent into the post. A low blow gives MVP a needed breather and there’s a running boot to the face as we take a break.

Back with both of them still down on the floor until Batista has to spear a chair out of MVP’s hands. That doesn’t keep MVP down very long though as he chairs Batista in the leg to take over again. MVP takes too long (common theme in this one) peeling back the ring mats though and now it’s Batista getting in his own chair shot. Back in and MVP sends him face first into the exposed buckle to knock Batista silly. For some reason MVP goes up with the chair, allowing Batista to get up. Not that it matters though as cue Umaga to Samoan Spike Batista down, allowing MVP to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This should be it for the feud as Batista now has an even bigger reason to focus on Umaga and Wrestlemania. The ending was the logical way to go as you need to keep Batista strong and MVP…well he’s lost so many times already that it’s hard to believe that there is much left for his reign anyway. What matters here is they wrapped up one feud and moved on to another and at least MVP got a pin for once.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Kane/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo slugs away at Kane to start, which goes about as well as you are probably imagining. Noble, with his bad ribs, comes in and is quickly dropped, allowing Khali to come in and go after the ribs. Some shots to Khali have no effect but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot from the apron anyway. The chokebomb finishes Noble fast.

The cage is lowered.

The Brisco Brothers are going into the Hall Of Fame.

Ric Flair/Shawn Michaels vs. Edge/Edgeheads

In a cage with escape only rules. Hold on though as here is Vickie Guerrero to say we’re adding in someone else. Cue Chavo Guerrero and this is going to be 4-2. We’re joined in progress with the big fight on and Edge spears Flair down to make the numbers game even worse. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes and there’s a spear against the cage or him too.

That leaves him to see an already bloody Flair get rammed into the cage but Shawn is untied and stomped in the corner. Flair manages a few right hands but Edge rakes him face first into the cage. Shawn fights up and Flair does the same, only to have Shawn get tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear from Edge. Somehow Flair chops away at Edge and the Edgeheads and Shawn manages to knock a diving Chavo out of the air.

A low blow drops Edge and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up. The villains are sent into the cage over and over and there’s the top rope elbow to Hawkins. Edge spears Chavo by mistake and the double Figure Fours go on. Chavo breaks them up with a double frog splash….and Undertaker is here. Undertaker goes after Edge but a distraction lets him escape the cage for the win.

Rating: C. This was weird as it didn’t really do anything other than put a bunch of people in the cage at once before Undertaker popped in to give them an ending. It felt like they just said “oh do whatever” and moved on, which doesn’t make for the most interesting of matches. That being said, it’s more interesting than a regular tag match and I guess Flair’s loss doesn’t count because he wasn’t directly beaten?

Overall Rating: C. We seem to be entering into the portion of the Wrestlemania build where they have everything set and just need to focus on that instead of anything new. That doesn’t make for the most interesting show, but it’s nice to have a plan and then go forward with it. With only two weeks to go before Wrestlemania, we could be in for some very different shows, but that doesn’t mean they’re all going to be thrilling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 10, 2008
Location: Bradley Center, Madison, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a special three hour show as we have Wrestlemania Rewind. In this case that means every match will be a Wrestlemania rematch, which could make for some interesting combinations a few years after the original matches. Other than that, either Randy Orton or HHH will be in charge tonight, which isn’t fair to the other two when they get two hours each. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Ric Flair to get things going. Last week, Shawn Michaels came out here and said that he was going to stop Flair’s show at Wrestlemania. That means Flair needs Michaels out here right now in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Cue Shaw, with Flair saying that is the best entrance in wrestling today. When Flair got started, the idea of sympathy did not exist and if he can’t compete in the ring with people like Shawn today, he doesn’t to do this anymore. Flair wants to be a franchise player and someone who can beat someone like Shawn on his best day.

Shawn brings up the “to be the man” line, because at Wrestlemania, he IS the man, and Flair’s career is ending. No matter what happens, the show is going to get stolen. Before Wrestlemania though, Flair has a 3-1 steel cage match against Edge and…uh, his Edge guys. Now Shawn’s Friday nights are usually reserved for Dora The Explorer, but he’ll make an exception this time. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, calling this a touching, touching moment. Orton is in charge tonight, so we’ll have HHH vs. Kane and Shawn vs. the man he couldn’t beat last year at Wrestlemania: John Cena.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Casket match. Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline to continue the fast opening. Old School is loaded up but Henry pulls him into a bearhug. With that not working, Henry clotheslines him to the floor, where Undertaker lands on his feet and pulls Henry outside. A whip into the corner slows Undertaker down again so he rams Henry into the casket. Back in and something close to a World’s Strongest Slam gets Henry out of trouble, only to have Undertaker pull him into the choke. That’s enough to knock Henry out and put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D+. That might be the shortest casket match I can remember and it felt like a way to have Undertaker on the show in some fashion. There was nothing to this one as Undertaker more or less squashed him in a hurry. Granted that’s how it should have been, but this wasn’t the most interesting option.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. and company are here.

Boxing people talk about Big Show vs. Mayweather Jr.

Earlier today, HHH talked about being ready to get the title back because it is two years in the making. Cena, Orton, game on.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay

They were in a Money in the Bank ladder match before so this counts as a rematch. Hold on though as JBL pops up on screen to say he’ll beat up Finlay so bad that he’ll be in a bed next to Hornswoggle. The bell rings and Finlay beats on him with the shillelagh for a DQ in about fifteen seconds.

Post match the beating continues and Finlay knocks him silly.

WWE is doing something with Make A Wish. Apparently John Cena does a lot with the charity. Like him or not, that is another level of work.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending. JR: “One has to wonder what Chris Jericho’s motive is in this match.” Lawler: “To win the Intercontinental Title and be the champion.” They get on with the brawl (based off of some issues on the Highlight Reel a few weeks back) early until Jericho clotheslines him over the top.

We take an early break and come back with Hardy hitting the dropkick through the ropes. Hardy’s barricade running clothesline only hits announcers’ table though and things slow down a good bit. Back in and Jericho bends the back over his knee before kicking Hardy in the head. Hardy finally fights up and hits something like a Sling Blade, plus a Whisper in the Wind for two.

They go to a pinfall reversal sequence until Hardy misses some kind of flip. Jericho’s high crossbody is rolled through to give Hardy two but the Twist of Fate is countered. The Lionsault gives Jericho two but he misses the running enziguri, allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate. Hardy misses the Swanton though and it’s a Codebreaker to give Jericho the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but the last few minutes were what you would expect from these two. Hardy has been on a bit of a downward slide at the moment, as at some point he has to actually win the bigger matches. Winning the Intercontinental Title doesn’t mean much for him, but it does give Jericho a needed boost. Good match too, at least once things really got rolling.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. US Express

Hold on though as Jillian Hall is here for her own version of Born In The USA. That earns her the airplane spin from Mike Rotunda, as we have no match (thank goodness).

Next up for the Hall of Fame: the Briscos. Yeah that works, and as usual the old footage is great.

Video on Big Show.

Kane watches a clip of HHH beating him at Wrestlemania XV. We’re still allowed to talk about that one? Anyway, Randy Orton comes in and wants Kane to hurt HHH tonight but Kane doesn’t want a history lesson.

HHH vs. Kane

Kane slugs him into the corner to start but HHH punches his way to freedom. Back up and Kane takes it outside, where HHH reverses a whip into the post. Kane slugs away back inside and kicks HHH in the face, only to charge into a spinebuster. The facebuster staggers Kane again but the Pedigree is countered. As Randy Orton comes out to watch, HHH slips out of the chokeslam and hits the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this VERY simple and to the point, as HHH gets to beat up the monster clean. Then again it isn’t like Kane is worth much at the moment and has just been kind of going through the motions. What matters here is HHH though, as he gets the big win and builds momentum towards Wrestlemania, meaning they accomplished the goal.

John Cena talks about how important Wrestlemania is. It’s the reason why he worked so hard to come back from his injury so soon, because Wrestlemania is what matters more than anything else. He respects Randy Orton, but it is going to be a fight to be the best. Cena’s time will come again.

Melina vs. Ashley

Beth Phoenix is here with Melina but there’s no Ashley, as she is hurt. We have a replacement though.

Melina vs. Maria

Beth Phoenix and Candice Michelle are here too. Maria charges into a boot in the corner to start as the shrieking is on to start. Now it’s Santino Marella coming out to watch, complete with a copy of Maria’s Playboy. Santino rips it up for a distraction, allowing Melina to hit a reverse DDT for the pin.

Post match Beth helps Melina beat the other two down.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. He has a lot of money.

Here is Shane McMahon for the official Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. weigh-in. Mayweather weighs 159lbs and Show weighs 441. Show isn’t interested in the photo, but he does bring up Mayweather’s posse. Instead he brings out his own posse in the form of the locker room. Show points out that no one here likes Mayweather and promises pain at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pulls out cash, smells it, and talks about how he respects Big Show.

As the WHAT treatment goes on, Mayweather says Show has to catch him to hurt him. Show takes the case and hands it to some of the wrestlers so Mayweather promises to break Show’s jaw at Wrestlemania. Everyone goes to leave, but Show grabs Mayweather and throws him over the top, onto a bunch of the wrestlers. Mayweather comes up favoring his shoulder and runs to the back with everyone else going behind him.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Randy Orton says he’s HHH and John Cena plus more rolled into one. Wouldn’t that get a little cramped?

Edge vs. CM Punk

Non-title and the Edgeheads are here with Edge. Punk kicks him in the face to start but walks into a hot shot for his efforts. Some strikes don’t work very well for Punk but he is fine enough to fight out of a suplex. A knee to the face and some kicks set up the springboard clothesline for two on Edge. That earns Punk a quick DDT from Edge but Punk is back up with the GTS attempt. Cue the Edgeheads for a distraction though and the spear gives Edge the pin.

Rating: C. Punk has taken a few hits as of late and doesn’t seem to have much going in the way of momentum. Granted some of that might just be due to feuding with Chavo Guerrero for weeks on end, but losing to Edge isn’t quite as bad. Punk certainly has the talent, and now all he has to do is put the pieces together to make it work

Here is William Regal to talk about the Raw vs. Smackdown match between Umaga vs. Batista. Regal isn’t worried about Batista, which sends us to a video on Umaga. As Regal talks about how he pities Batista at Wrestlemania, here is Batista to interrupt. The fight is on with Batista hitting the spinebuster to send Umaga running.

Vince McMahon is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

They trade hammerlocks to start as we talk about their history against each other. Neither can get very far until it’s Cena trying to get the STF, sending Shawn to the floor and us to a break. Back with Cena cranking on the arm until Shawn swinging neckbreakers his way to freedom. Cena gets tossed over the top and it’s time to start in on the knee back inside.

A quick AA attempt doesn’t work as the knee gives out, with Shawn chop blocking Cena to damage the knee even worse. Cena is fine enough to kick Michaels into the corner though and the clothesline comeback is on. The Shuffle connects but the FU is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence.

They collide for a double knockdown and a breather, allowing Shawn to hit the flying forearm. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but Cena grabs the foot. That’s fine with Shawn, who pulls him into that reverse Figure Four. With that broken up, Cena is sent outside and Shawn hits a dive, only to have Randy Orton run in to deck Cena for the DQ.

Rating: B-. These two are always going to work well together so the quality was hardly a surprise. It also helps that they got some time, but Orton running in was the best way to go given how strong both of them need to be going into Wrestlemania. It’s no classic, but Shawn vs. Cena in any form is at least worth a look.

Post match the RKO onto a chair is countered into a shove onto the chair, setting up the FU to drop Orton.

We cut to HHH in the back, who is in charge next week. Therefore, next week it’s John Cena and Randy Orton teaming up to face….the entire Raw roster. Oh boy.

Overall Rating: C. The nostalgia was fun, but it was also pretty limited, with some random rematches and cameos, plus some rematches that only kind of took place originally. I can go for an old school show, but this wasn’t exactly their best effort. They’re making me want to see Wrestlemania though so they are getting the big picture right.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally Wrestlemania month and we are less than four weeks away from the show. The big story around here is the triple threat match between Raw World Champion Randy Orton and challengers HHH and John Cena. Other than that, we’re going to be seeing Big Show vs. a professional fighter, because wrestlers are…tap dancers or something. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton, John Cena and HHH are in William Regal’s office and has a great idea: for the next three weeks, one of them will be in charge every week. Tonight it’s Cena, but Orton thinks they should have a pact that says the other two should get the night off every week. Cena has a better idea.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Brandon Hill

This is billed as MMA (win by pin/submission/knockout), as Hill is a boxer and Floyd Mayweather Jr. is watching live from Las Vegas (I’m sure). We get the showdown, with Show towering over the rather small Hill, and in a rare production gaffe, you see the cameramen in the ring (I don’t know if that’s a choice for the match, but it feels WAY out of place in WWE). Hill runs away to start and then panics when Show grabs him by the trunks. Then the chokeslam finishes for Show fast.

Post match Show calls out Mayweather and promises to ruin him at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pops up on screen to yell about how he’ll break Show’s jaw. Oh and he’s coming to the show. Then Show tosses Hill over the top for a nasty landing.

Video on HHH.

Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Flair and Murdoch start things off, with Flair sending him into the corner for some right hands. Shawn comes in for an awkward collision with Murdoch, allowing Cade to grab a belly to back suplex. An atomic drop/big boot combination gets two on Shawn but he gets a boot up to stop a diving Murdoch. It’s back to Flair to strike away, setting up the stereo Figure Fours for the stereo submissions.

Rating: C. Just a quick, nothing match here with Flair and Shawn getting to spend some time together with Wrestlemania on the way. We still have some more weeks for them to be nice to each other before they get personal, which still feels like a bit of a stretch. Cade and Murdoch’s fall continues, as they are now about as worthless as they could be. Because tag teams.

Post match Shawn says he doesn’t want to be the one who ends Flair’s career. He knows Flair is thinking “what makes Shawn think he’s that guy”, but it’s Wrestlemania and he’s Shawn Michaels. At Wrestlemania, Flair’s show is going to be stopped.

John Cena comes in to see William Regal and gets right to the point: tonight it’s Randy Orton vs. HHH, while Cena will face Mr. Kennedy. Oh and since Cena is in charge, Regal can leave the office.

Umaga vs. Super Crazy

William Regal is on commentary as Umaga wins with the Samoan Spike in less than 45 seconds.

Here is Chris Jericho for the return of the Highlight Reel. Jericho talks about how this is the talk show that inspired the others, such as Are You Smarter Than A Snitsky and Cooking With Goldberg. For now though, let’s get our guest out there: Jeff Hardy. Jericho shows us a clip of him beating Hardy last week to qualify for Money In The Bank, even though Hardy is already in there. Of course fans are expecting Hardy to steal the show, but this time Hardy talks about how important it is for him to win here. Then Hardy lays him out with the Twist of Fate.

Mr. Kennedy vs. John Cena

Kennedy’s headlock doesn’t do much to start as Cena is right back with a backdrop. We take a break about thirty seconds in (erg) and come back with Kennedy bailing to the floor, meaning the chase is on. Kennedy snaps him throat first across the top rope to take over, setting up a hard ram into the apron. Back in and Kennedy hits a neckbreaker onto the knee for two, followed by the cravate to stay on the neck. Cena powers out and hits the running clotheslines into the top rope Fameasser. The STFU finishes Kennedy off.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have much time here and that commercial was quite the waste of time. Cena gets some revenge to make up for the night where he was hurt in October so a thread is tied up. I’m not sure how many people were wanting it to be tied up, but getting Cena in the ring on Raw is often a good idea and having him win here without much drama over the winner worked fine.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to emcee the unveiling of Maria’s Playboy cover. Maria and Candice Michelle come out, the cover is unveiled…and Santino Marella has censored it. Cue Santino to complain about Maria being in the magazine, Maria yells at him and Lawler clears him out. The real cover is revealed, Lawler is excited and that’s it. So why did they have the other version ready (a giant banner above the ring) when they were surprised that Santino had messed with the poster size one?

John Cena was at a NASCAR race.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody’s headlock doesn’t go very far to start but he does get two off a backslide. Back up and Carlito sends him into the corner for some shots to the face but the Backstabber misses. A middle rope spinning crossbody gives Cody two and a sunset flip is good for the same. Cody tries a victory roll but Carlito reverses into a backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was quick and to the point, with Carlito qualifying for a match he has no chance of winning. Cody isn’t going to win it either and is way too early in his career to be there either, so maybe just not having these two in a match for a spot would have been better. It’s good to get Cody in the ring, but Carlito means nothing at this point and that isn’t easy to hide.

We get a satellite interview with Floyd Mayweather Jr., who brags about how awesome he is and how he is ready to dominate WWE. He’s ready to break Big Show’s jaw and declares himself the real king, much to Lawler’s….well I’d assume annoyance, but Mayweather promises to turn the company into Money Mayweather Entertainment so we don’t get much of a reaction.

Mae Young is going into the Hall of Fame, meaning we get quite the entertaining video package.

Here is Finlay to confront JBL after Hornswoggle was attacked last week. For now though, here is Vince McMahon to interrupt, with Vince confirming that he is NOT Hornswoggle’s father, but Finlay certainly is. JBL isn’t here, but we do have him via satellite….from Hornswoggle’s hospital room. JBL says it’s fun to prey on the innocent and the challenge to face Finlay is thrown out for Wrestlemania. Then JBL turns out the lights and we hear Hornswoggle screaming. That was an intense scene and JBL is kind of perfect for it, but they rushed through it so fast that it didn’t have quite the impact.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. Orton takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean….stare at each other. HHH does the same thing but punches Orton in the face, which fits him rather well. Some headlock takeovers from HHH are broken up by Orton’s headscissors as Cena talks about everything Orton did to his father.

Orton grabs the backbreaker as the fans are rather behind HHH. The circle stomping ensues until HHH is back up with the facebuster. They fight to the floor with HHH hammering away, setting up the spinebuster back inside. Orton bails to the floor and grabs the title so Cena breaks it up, only to have HHH knock both of them over. Cena comes in and jumps HHH for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here and the match was more about sitting around waiting on Cena to do something to end things. That’s likely what we are going to be seeing for a few weeks to come and that is not the worst idea. The idea is to make fans want to see Wrestlemania and little teases like this could make that be the case.

Post match Cena gives HHH the FU but walks into the RKO so Orton can stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can definitely feel a similar style of build to Wrestlemania on Raw and Smackdown. The main event is the huge focal point with one other big match per show announced. This week saw JBL vs. Finlay all but set up and when you throw in Umaga vs. Batista and Money in the Bank, the core of the show is ready. This week’s show was just ok, but the build to Wrestlemania is what matters most and that is going rather well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 18, 2008
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

No Way Out is out of the way and now we have a clear path to Wrestlemania XXIV in just over a month. It’s time to start the build and the good thing is you can probably see a few of the matches from here. As for this week, Vince McMahon gets to face Hornswoggle in a cage, because this story is still going. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Way Out if you need a recap.

Here is new #1 contender HHH to get things going. HHH talks about how happy he is, because last year he was getting ready to go watch Wrestlemania from a wheelchair backstage. Well now he is back where he belongs and he is going to become a 12 time World Champion, but here is (still WWE Champion) Randy Orton to interrupt. Orton says this title reign started with HHH, who he beat to become the champion. Four years ago, HHH was jealous of Orton because Orton was that much better.

Cue John Cena to interrupt as well because he wants to wait a cotton picking minute (Cena: “Yeah I went there.”). Cena accuses Orton of losing his way into Wrestlemania so tonight, let’s have a rematch for the title with the winner facing HHH. Orton appeals to HHH, who doesn’t really care who he faces at Wrestlemania.

Cue William Regal to say HHH is going to Wrestlemania no matter what, but tonight Orton will face Cena….in a non-title match. If Cena wins, he moves on to the main event of Wrestlemania in a triple threat match. HHH isn’t cool with that because he has already earned his shot, but Regal makes it more interesting: HHH can be guest referee for Orton vs. Cena. This was shorter than I would have expected to come up with something like that.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him down without much trouble to start and there’s the boot choke in the corner. Hardy isn’t having that and sends him into the corner for the slingshot dropkick. A big boot puts Snitsky on the floor in a crash and we take a break. Back with Hardy caught in a bearhug and then getting shouldered down hard. Three elbows give Snitsky two and we hit a crossface choke (minus the arm trap).

Snitsky lets that go and misses a big leg, allowing Hardy to hit the Whisper in the Wind for two. The Twist of Fate is blocked and a big boot drops Hardy for two more. The pumphandle slam is loaded up but Hardy reverses into the Twist of Fate. That’s enough to set up the Swanton to send Hardy to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C+. A smaller hero vs. a monster is something that will always work and they had it going well here. That is all you need in a lot of cases and Hardy being one of the most popular stars in the company helps a lot. They had a perfectly fine story here and Hardy knows exactly how to do a match like this one. Nice job.

Mike Adamle brings out Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn gets right to the point: the greatest wrestler of all time and the man who inspired him to get into wrestling is going into the WWE Hall Of Fame. The fans give a WOO and we see the Ric Flair Hall of Fame video. Your mileage on Flair may vary, but I don’t think this is anything resembling a controversial pick.

Paul Burchill vs. Super Crazy

Katie Lea is here with Burchill (who gets a PAUL THE PIRATE chant) and we get an inset promo where they talk about how attractive the other is. Burchill strikes away to start and curb stomps Crazy for the very fast pin. Total dominance.

Randy Orton comes in to see HHH and hints at an alliance, but HHH says he’s only going to do things that favor him.

We look at Big Show returning last night to attack Rey Mysterio, with Floyd Mayweather Jr. making the save and breaking Show’s nose.

Here is Big Show for a chat. Show was asked to come out here and apologize for what happened last night. He will apologize, even though he thinks Mayweather should apologize. Show asks Mayweather to come out here in person, so cue Mayweather with about six other people behind him.

Mayweather says he has been a WWE fan for many years and he’s sorry things went that way last night. He was called out and had to retaliate. Show says he was just trying to get some publicity and apologizes. They shake hands and Mayweather leaves in peace….but Show says hang on a minute.

Show wants to get something off his chest: the only way Mayweather could hurt him was on his knees and he was STILL bigger than Mayweather. The truth is Show could take him out in two minutes and the challenge is on. Mayweather, and entourage, come back to the ring and sure let’s do it. The tease of a right hand makes Show back up but Mayweather leaves. I think I know where this is going.

Video on Money in the Bank.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Mr. Kennedy vs. Val Venis

Kennedy, with new music, sends Venis shoulder first into the post to start and goes after the arm on the mat. The armbar goes on as JR is smart enough to say that Venis is recently back from elbow surgery. Back up and the Mic Check sends Kennedy to Wrestlemania in a hurry.

Vince McMahon vs. Hornswoggle

In a cage. Finlay comes to the ring and wants to fight for Hornswoggle but is told to get out. Cue JBL to slam the cage door on the back of Finlay’s head and then handcuff him to the top rope. Vince pulls out a belt and whips Hornswoggle as Finlay can’t do anything. Vince leaves and JBL throws Hornswoggle into the cage.

Finlay tells JBL to beat him up instead but Hornswoggle gets kicked in the head. The fall away slam into the cage leaves Hornswoggle laying and even Vince says that’s enough as JBL leaves. This was more intense than I would have bet on, with commentary being silent making it better. No match of course.

Here are Santino Marella and Maria for a chat. We get a poll on if Maria should pose for Playboy, with 94% saying yes. I know it’s a popular concept, but maybe you should wait a bit after such a serious moment? Anyway Santino announces that Maria is posing but Beth cuts him off for a match that Maria didn’t seem to know what was coming. Hold on though as Santino reads the fine print: no Playboy unless Maria wins here!

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Non-title and Beth slams her down with ease to start. Cue the returning Candice Michelle for a distraction though and Maria grabs a rollup. There was no way to do this without pinning the unstoppable champion?

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Non-title but if Cena wins, the Raw World Title match at Wrestlemania is a triple threat, also involving guest referee HHH. Cena backs him into the corner to start but Orton scores with an uppercut. A dropkick has Cena out on the apron and Orton knocks him into the announcers’ table as we take a break.

Back with Cena getting a boot up in the corner and dropping an elbow for a fast two. Orton is right back up and a hanging DDT gets two on Cena, followed by the snap powerslam for the same. The circle stomps set up a jumping knee to the head for two more and frustration is setting in.

We hit the chinlock so Cena is up fast, only to miss a charge into the corner as he still can’t keep anything going. Cena shrugs off a ran into the buckle and initiates the finishing sequence but Orton grabs the rope to block the FU. They head outside with Cena being sent into the steps but the RKO is countered into the STFU. The rope is grabbed so Cena yells at HHH, only to duck a cheap shot from Orton. A quick FU sends Cena to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C+. So there’s one of your Wrestlemania main events as you knew the ending to Orton vs. Cena last night was going to wind up going somewhere. Cena being added to the match does add something fresh to the whole thing, but this wasn’t exactly a classic. The match felt big, but another champion gets pinned, albeit with some shenanigans.

HHH Pedigrees both of them and poses with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’ve got a feeling this is going to be the start of the Wrestlemania season trend, as there was very little here in the way of wrestling. Instead, this was ALL about setting up Wrestlemania in one form or another. I can go for that, as they don’t have very long before Wrestlemania and the rapid fire build has begun. Good enough stuff here, but it’s all about the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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No Way Out 2008
Date: February 17, 2008
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 15,240
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’re on the Road To Wrestlemania and in this case, WWE is embracing the more is more philosophy. We have a pair of Elimination Chamber matches with the winners going on to the World Title matches at Wrestlemania. In addition, we have John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, which should feel quite big. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the Road To Wrestlemania going into a place that has no way out. We shift into a traditional Chamber video, as it continues to seem almost sentient given the descriptions.

We recap CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero for the ECW World Title. Guerrero cheated to beat Punk so Punk threw him in the Gulf of Mexico and is using his rematch here. As all great feuds go.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero is defending and slaps him in the face to start, earning himself a kick to the head. Punk gets sent outside and tripped face first onto the apron to put him in some early trouble. Back in and Chavo hits a suplex, thankfully without an Eddie reference. A bodyscissors (you don’t see that one very often) is countered into a catapult but Punk’s GTS is countered into a hurricanrana.

Punk kicks him into the head and goes into the Eddie Dance/Three Amigos, which is pretty soundly booed, even to the point of the crowd chanting for Chavo in a weird moment. Another kick puts Chavo on the floor so Punk puts him on top. The super hurricanrana is blocked though and a frog splash retains the title.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do much here but this feud needs to wrap up already. There is nothing left for these two to do to each other and this was a pretty clear ending. Chavo needs a fresh challenger and there is nothing left for Punk to do in ECW. Punk is going to be fine moving forward, but I’m not sure who can go after Chavo right now.

We look back at Rey Mysterio hitting a springboard seated senton on Vickie Guerrero this week on Smackdown.

Mysterio said it was an accident but he isn’t apologizing to Vickie. Oh and he has a torn bicep but is wrestling anyway. Floyd Mayweather Jr. comes in for a pep talk, though the fans don’t seem impressed.

The Chamber is lowered.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali vs. Big Daddy V vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Batista

For the Smackdown World Title shot at Wrestlemania (and MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line) and inside the Elimination Chamber. Batista is in at #1 and Undertaker is in at #2 so they’re certainly starting big. They slug it out (duh) to start until Batista gets him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. That earns him a right hand over the ropes and it’s time to go fight on the steel. A face rake across the steel fires Batista up enough to knock Undertaker back inside, where Undertaker chokes in the corner. Undertaker stomps him down but an exchange of big boots gives us a double knockdown.

Big Daddy V is in at #3 to slam both of them down a few times. A headbutt knocks Undertaker out of the Chamber (that’s a new one) and he seems to be favoring his arm as a running splash against the wall crushes Undertaker back inside. Batista manages a spinebuster to V and Undertaker adds a DDT onto the Chamber to get rid of V (as pinfalls are now legal outside of the ring).

Great Khali is in at #4 and strikes away as the fans decide that the wrestler who is currently wrestling can’t wrestle. The chokebomb gets two on Undertaker and there’s the Vice Grip to Batista. With that broken up, Undertaker boots Batista in the face and chokes Khali out for the elimination. Undertaker rakes Batista against the cage until Finlay is in at #5. A missed big boot in the corner lets Finlay Celtic Cross Undertaker for two. Coach: “How is the Undertaker doing this?” Cole: “He’s the Undertaker.”

Finlay sends Undertaker into the cage wall for two but Undertaker knocks the other two down. MVP is in at #6….or at least he should be, as he stays in the pod. That’s not going to work for Undertaker, who drags him back in as Batista is up again. MVP uses a chain to knock down the monsters and Undertaker is busted open. Back up and Undertaker talks MVP to the top of the pod, where a super chokeslam brings him crashing back down. Finlay steals the pin to get rid of MVP and we’re down to three.

Undertaker misses a top rope elbow to Finlay though and here’s Hornswoggle to throw in a shillelagh. The shot to the head gets two on Batista but Undertaker is back up with a chokeslam onto the steel to Finlay for the elimination. Believe it or not, we come down to Batista vs. Undertaker for the title shot and they both have to pull themselves up. Batista is busted open as well and the big slugout is on with Batista hitting a quick Namesake Bomb for two.

For some reason Batista sees no problem with hammering down right hands in the corner, meaning the Last Ride gets two. Undertaker hammers away but gets clotheslined over the top and onto the steel. Batista follows as Undertaker seems to be favoring his arm so Batista tries a ram into the barricade. It’s just try because Undertaker blocks the contact and hits a Tombstone for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. There were two options here so this got a lot more interesting once they got rid of the people who were there to fill in spots. Big Daddy V. and Great Khali were never going to be any kind of a serious threat, but unfortunately the US Champion isn’t anything resembling a threat here. Undertaker vs. Batista was good enough, but they went smart by keeping that part short. Solid enough match here, though it could have used a third potential winner, if there is such a thing on Smackdown these days.

Edge wants the Edgeheads ready to help him with Rey Mysterio, but Teddy Long comes in to ban them from ringside for the title match.

Maria and Ashley are at the Playboy Mansion in an effort to get Maria to pose. I’m sure that is still up in the air at this point.

Ric Flair vs. Mr. Kennedy

Flair is coming in with a bad knee. Kennedy shoulders him down and mocks the strut so Flair hits a chop and shows him how it’s done. That’s enough for Kennedy to smarten up and go after the knee to take over. The half crab goes on and a rather swearing Flair makes the rope, meaning Kennedy puts on the Figure Four around the post. The regular Figure Four stays on the leg but the rope is grabbed again. Back up and a Regal Roll gives Kennedy two but Flair is back with some chop blocks. Flair gets the real Figure Four on and Kennedy taps rather quickly.

Rating: C-. That felt like it could have been on a house show and that is rarely a good sign on TV. Flair gets to keep going and I don’t know if there was much doubt about him losing at No Way Out. They had put together a pretty nice feud on the way here but then the match was just kind of there. I’m actually a bit disappointed for once and that’s not something I was expecting from this one.

Finlay is getting his back worked on when Vince McMahon comes in and promises violence to Hornswoggle tomorrow.

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown World Title. Edge retained the title with help from Vickie Guerrero at the Royal Rumble so the rematch was set. Vickie was taken out on Smackdown, but it might not matter as Rey has a torn bicep, meaning this might not be so great.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge is defending and the Edgeheads are barred from ringside. Rey backs into the corner as Edge certainly knows about the bad arm. A hurricanrana sends Edge into the corner and Rey has to use left handed punches which has to be so awkward. Edge shrugs them off and takes Rey outside for a whip into the steps. Back in and Edge slowly hammers away before a headscissors sends him down for a crotching against the post. A left arm DDT gives Rey two and the 619 connects but the arm gives out. Rey’s springboard is speared out of the air to retain the title fast.

Rating: C. I can’t possibly put this one on them as Rey could barely do anything. They went just over five minutes and that was probably agony throughout. It’s better than no match and they did play into the arm injury to make sense. Rey is probably going to be gone for a long time but he certainly tried on his way out.

Post match Edge leaves and….here is the returning Big Show, for the first time in over a year. Show is glad to be back and says he’ll be a champion again on Raw, Smackdown or ECW. He’s been champion at all of those places and he’ll do it again, but he isn’t here to make guarantees. Since he’s been gone he’s lost 108lbs and now he is a lot meaner. To show this, he goes outside and grabs Rey by the throat while taunting Floyd Mayweather Jr. at ringside.

Mayweather jumps the barricade and gets inside, with security and his entourage right behind him. Show drops to his knee in front of Mayweather, who fires off some crazy fast punches to bust Show’s nose. Mayweather sprints off and Show gives chase, with Shane McMahon of all people having to calm him down. Show leaves, unfortunately not asking Shane “which way did he go”. So there’s your Wrestlemania celebrity match.

Mike Adamle throws us to the recap video for Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title against John Cena. Back in October, Cena got hurt and had to forfeit the title, which Orton somehow got twice in one night. Cena then returned at the Royal Rumble and won the whole thing, but is cashing in his title match here instead of at Wrestlemania (which apparently you can just do).

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is challenging and we even get an old school weapons check. An early small package has Orton a bit nervous and Cena rolls him up for two more to make it worse. The fans are a bit split here as Orton knocks him down and starts the stomping. More stomping puts Cena down in the corner and the referee is actually asking if he wants to give up. Does he not get the whole Cena thing?

Cena hits a bulldog and drops an elbow for two but Orton cuts him off with a clothesline for the same. The fans are split again as Orton punches him out to the apron, only to get caught with the top rope Fameasser for two. The FU is countered into an uppercut (which looked like an RKO setup) and there’s the circle stomp. We hit the chinlock until Cena powers up and initiates the finishing sequence. Orton slips out of the FU again though and bails to the floor.

Back in and Orton grabs the backbreaker before avoiding another Cena top rope Fameasser. Instead Cena grabs the ProtoBomb into the STFU, with Orton having to bail to the ropes. That’s enough to send Orton bailing to the floor, where he grabs his knee and demands a countout. Cena won’t be having that and walks right into the RKO on the floor. Cena beats the count back in….so Orton hits the referee for the DQ escape.

Rating: B-. The ending was there to set up the rematch, as I don’t think anyone is going to buy that Cena’s big moment is coming at No Way Out. It seems ripe for the setup of another match, with Orton getting rather annoyed at his plan not working. The match was good as expected between these two, but the ending might as well have been a To Be Continued sign.

Post match Cena grabs the STFU to choke Orton out.

HHH and Shawn Michaels are going to be cool with each other no matter what happens in the Chamber.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga vs. JBL vs. Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

For the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania and Hardy’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Jericho is in at #1 and Shawn is in at #2, which should make for a nice four minutes. Feeling out process to start before they go with the hard chops into a pinfall reversal sequence. Jericho cuts it off with a clothesline so Shawn hits one of his own. The top rope elbow only hits Jericho’s raised knees but manages to block the Walls. Back up and the collide, with Umaga coming in at #3.

A double clothesline takes both heroes down and Umaga makes it even worse with a double Samoan drop. Shawn gets kicked out onto the steel but Jericho avoids a middle rope headbutt. That lets Shawn go up for the top rope elbow to the back and Jericho grabs the logical Walls. Shawn adds a Crossface but it’s JBL in at #4 to break it up for whatever reason. Some kicks to the face (including Shawn’s bloody one) have the good guys in trouble and Umaga gets up to help JBL with the beatdown (a JBL/Umaga alliance seems odd as Umaga with money would be….weird).

HHH is in at #5 and goes after everyone not named Shawn. A DDT gets two on JBL and Umaga is sent head first (and HARD) into the pod. The Clothesline From JBL drops HHH but Jericho Codebreakers JBL for the pin. Hold on though as JBL grabs a chair and knocks Jericho/HHH/Umaga silly, with Jericho being busted open.

Jeff Hardy is in at #6 to complete the field and starts fast by mule kicking Umaga into the corner. A Whisper in the Wind drops HHH and Shawn but Umaga is back up to knock Hardy down. The swinging release Rock Bottom plants Jericho before hitting a SCARY running hip attack to drive him through the pod. Somehow Jericho isn’t in multiple pieces as it’s a superkick into a Codebreaker into a Pedigree into a Swanton off the top of the pod to Umaga for the pin.

Then Shawn superkicks Hardy to give Jericho the pin, only to have HHH Pedigree Shawn to get us down to Hardy vs. HHH. Hardy starts fast with a DDT onto the steel and a backdrop sends HHH back inside. The Swanton misses though and a Pedigree gets….two. Ok that was a surprise. HHH grabs a chair but has to counter a Twist of Fate. That’s enough to set up the Pedigree onto the chair to finish Hardy (and kill the crowd) for the Wrestlemania title shot.

Rating: B+. This was a good bit better than the first one as it had more violence, better action, more plausible winners (Shawn and Jericho weren’t winning, but they were more likely than MVP and Finlay) and a better pace. HHH winning isn’t a surprise, but dang Hardy was over here and that was a pretty bad loss. The fans going quiet after the pin didn’t help, but like HHH wasn’t going to get his big win at some point.

Overall Rating: B. Obviously this show was all about the Chambers and Orton vs. Cena, all of which worked pretty well. There isn’t much on the rest of the show, but you can see a lot of Wrestlemania from here so they got the important stuff right. This wasn’t a show built around a bunch of small stuff but rather three big things, which is quite the shift, especially so soon after the Royal Rumble. You can see Wrestlemania from here though and that is a good thing to see.

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Smackdown
Date: February 15, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,307
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and that probably means we are going to be seeing more between the people involved in the Elimination Chamber. Other than that, Edge vs. Rey Mysterio II needs more of a build, though I’m not sure how much more there is to do with the feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. MVP

Non-title. MVP gets backed into the corner to start before Batista drops him with a shoulder. That’s enough for a breather on the floor as MVP needs a break. Back in and some slams send MVP right back to the floor, followed by a running boot to the head back inside. Batista switches things up a bit by going after the leg, with commentary debating if that is a callback to MVP going after Ric Flair’s leg or just, you know, trying to hurt MVP before the Chamber. The Figure Four would suggest it’s a bit of both but MVP makes it to the rope as we take a break.

Back with Batista driving the shoulders to the ribs in the corner but MVP sends him shoulder first into the post. MVP stomps him down in the corner before getting smart by staying on the arm. The kick to the head gives MVP two and we hit the armbar. They head outside with Batista being sent into the steps but Batista is back with a ram into the apron. Back in and MVP gets smart by sending him shoulder first into the post again. That’s fine with Batista, who uses the good shoulder for a spear. The Batista Bomb puts MVP away.

Rating: C+. I liked the match layout as they had MVP try to wear Batista down for Sunday, which makes sense, but my goodness can we stop having the US Champion get pinned? It’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling and it feels like it has been happening on a pretty regular basis as of late. You couldn’t have had him walk out of get disqualified here? That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Edge gives the Edgeheads a quick and mostly useless pep talk.

Deuce N Domino/Edgeheads vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jesse and Festus

The bell rings and Festus cleans house, as he is known to do. Jesse knocks Ryder down for two and it’s off to Moore, who gets taken into the wrong corner. The beatdown is on and the villains start taking turns beating Moore up. Moore kicks Domino away though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Everything breaks down and Yang’s moonsault press finishes Domino fast.

Post match the bell rings and the villains beat everyone down….until Jesse rings the bell and Festus gets to wreck everyone again. Another bell rings calms things right back down.

Vickie Guerrero gets her makeup done in the hopes that Edge pops the question later.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Hold on though as here is Chuck Palumbo to watch and Michelle is shaken. Palumbo revs his motorcycle a lot and Victoria chokes in the corner. Michelle’s superplex attempt is broken up as she is distracted again, allowing Victoria to punch her in the face a few times. They crash out to the floor as the revving continues/grows even louder. Back in and Michelle hits a clothesline but more revving lets Victoria hit the Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Post match Palumbo threatens McCool and Jamie Noble some more.

We recap Undertaker choking people, namely Big Daddy V, out in recent weeks.

Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who shoves Undertaker into the corner to start. It works so well that V does it again but Undertaker starts striking away. Undertaker goes to the arm until a Striker distraction lets V get in the rather large clothesline. With Undertaker down on the floor, Striker gets in a kick to the back and V sends Undertaker face first into the steps. After the weird mounting thing, V misses a charge in the corner and gets clotheslined down. Old School connects and a running DDT gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. How many times can Undertaker beat this guy? I think we’ve gotten the point by now, as the video package before the match showed you just how dominant Undertaker has been in this mini feud. I’m not sure why they needed to have V lose clean again here, but it’s not like anyone was buying him as a threat in the Chamber anyway.

Post match Striker yells a lot so Undertaker chokes him out.

Edge is rather nervous.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

No Way Out rundown.

Kane/CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero/Shelton Benjamin

Kane and Chavo start things off and it’s a gorilla press to get things going. I’ll let you figure out who pressed who as Punk comes in to stomp Chavo down in the corner. It’s off to Benjamin, who gets dropkicked down but manages to come right back with a t-bone suplex. Chavo gets launched into a splash on Punk for two and the villains take over. That doesn’t last long either though as it’s back to Kane for the house cleaning. Benjamin saves Chavo from a near fall and gets choked for his efforts, with Chavo having to make his own save. Everything breaks down and the GTS finishes Chavo.

Rating: C. Just a way to get Chavo and Punk in the ring again as that feud continues to exist for reasons of….I guess necessity? There isn’t anyone else for Chavo to defend against at the moment so this is about as good as WWE can do for him. That works for a bit, but the impact falls off when they have fought roughly 184 times so far.

Raw Rebound.

Video on Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon.

Great Khali vs. Finlay

Khali wastes no time in taking him down into the corner for some choking but a neck snap across the rope gives Finlay a breather. Not that it matters as Khali takes him outside and keeps up the beating. Back in and Khali grabs a slam and then a nerve hold, which lasts slightly less long than average. Back up and Finlay avoids a charge in the corner but Khali drops him again. Hornswoggle offers a distraction though and Finlay gets in some shillelagh shots for the pin.

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of a short match like this one and they didn’t exactly do anything good with it. Finlay beating up Khali with the shillelagh is something that has been done more than once and much like V, there was no reason to believe that Khali was going to win in the Chamber. Finlay isn’t likely going to get much higher than this, but I can go for him being a solid midcard hand who gets a win like this every now and then.

The ring is geared up for the potential proposal. There are balloons, flowers, a string quartet and….well nothing more but do you need anything else? Here is Edge, to some nice string music, and he is looking nervous. Edge talks about how he has never been nervous before but he is really in love. He invites Vickie out here, with Teddy Long getting to push the wheelchair again.

With Teddy gone, Edge says the World Title meant a lot to him, but there is something more important. Edge proposes and gives her the ring, which gets him a yes. Cue Rey Mysterio to interrupt and say he hopes that Vickie drops the Guerrero name. Edge threatens to put Rey in the wheelchair if he doesn’t apologize right now so Rey gets in the ring and apologizes in Spanish. Oh and he’ll win the title on Sunday. The fight is on and the springboard seated sent hits Vickie by mistake. Rey is….sorry? Maybe? Eh Vickie getting humiliated is always worth a look.

Overall Rating: C. Oh yeah they need to get past No Way Out fast because this isn’t exactly working. There is only so much that you can do with the same people doing the same stuff over and over, even if it does at least build things up for the Elimination Chamber. Rey vs. Edge is rapidly turning into Rey vs. Vickie and that is only going to get them so far. It wasn’t a bad show, but it’s a show that is going to need a pit stop really soon.

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Smackdown
Date: February 8, 2008
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are getting close to No Way Out and the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match. That should be enough to carry the show, though there is also a Royal Rumble rematch between Edge and Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown World Title. Tonight is likely going to be about building towards those matches so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Michael Cole brings out Batista for a chat to start. Batista says his experience in the Chamber is his strength because he knows what it is like. There is going to be a ton of monsters in that Chamber but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP says Batista has never been in the Chamber with him but Batista promises violence, especially for what MVP did to Ric Flair. Now it’s Big Daddy V, with Matt Striker, to interrupt.

V feels differently about who is going to win the Chamber with Striker promising violence. Yeah yeah V is big and heavy in case you didn’t get the idea. Then Great Khali, with Runjin Singh, comes out with the latter saying Khali will win. Then Finlay, with Hornswoggle, comes in to say he’s here to fight. Then Undertaker pops up and the good guys clear the ring, likely setting up a six man tag. As soon as MVP came out, you knew what the next eight or so minutes was going to be, especially if you watched Raw where they did the same thing.

Wrestlemania is coming.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

Rematch from ECW where Kane won by countout. Before the match, Shelton says there ain’t no stopping him now. Kane hammers him down in the corner and hits a basement dropkick to keep Benjamin in trouble. A missed charge sends Kane into the corner though and Benjamin hits a Blockbuster for a delayed one.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Kane is back up with some shots to the face to start the comeback. The top rope clothesline sends Benjamin outside where Kane gets posted. They head up to the apron with Shelton going up top. Kane uppercuts him back to the mat….and doesn’t beat the count to give Shelton the win.

Rating: C. That’s definitely a creative ending but it came after a pretty standard match. Kane vs. Benjamin sounded like a match that should have been rather good but for some reason neither of their tries have gone very far. It also doesn’t help that they don’t have much going on at the moment so they’re just matches for the sake of filling in time on various shows.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, again, but this time Michelle McCool is here with Jamie. Palumbo kicks him in the face to start and hammers away, only to miss a top rope elbow. Noble knocks him outside but Michelle isn’t sure about having Noble stomp away. A dropkick knocks Palumbo off the apron again but sends a diving Noble into the motorcycle (OUCH). Back in and Full Throttle finishes Noble.

Rating: C-. That crash onto the motorcycle looked good but my goodness it is hard to care about this story in any other way. Palumbo just isn’t that interested but Noble continues to do everything he can to make this work. They need to move on though, as this match has been done to death already.

Post match Palumbo destroys Noble even more, with commentary getting into their serious voices over the brutality. Palumbo even teases running a downed over with his motorcycle as this segment goes on FAR longer than a Chuck Palumbo and Jamie Noble segment needed to last.

WWE has an office in Shanghai!

Jesse and Festus vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here too. This is the new improved Festus, who comes to the ring with a bag over his head. The bag comes off and Festus looks the same, only to go nuts as usual when the bell rings. Deuce N Domino are cleared out but Deuce comes back in to get armdragged by Jesse. Festus keeps rocking back and forth on the apron as Jesse misses a charge in the corner to put him in trouble for a change. A distraction brings Festus in so the chinlock can go on, only to be broken up just as quickly. The hot tag brings in Festus to clean house and a pump kick into a splash knocks Domino silly. The fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin.

Rating: C. So yeah it’s the same Jesse and Festus, meaning they’re fun for a bit before before you realize how little Jesse brings to the team. Festus did his thing well enough and is great as a wrecking ball, but the charm wears off soon. Kind of like anything involving Deuce N Domino mattering, as they have completely collapsed after a great start.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge. He doesn’t want to do it, but he shows us a clip from the Royal Rumble where Vickie Guerrero was taken out by an errant 619. That brings out Vickie, with Teddy Long at her side, as this week’s guest. After the EDDIE chants die down, Edge sends Teddy to the back so he can be alone with his “Vickiekins.”

Edge knows that next week is Valentine’s Day and Edge has a special question to ask her. That’s next week though, but for now, Rey Mysterio needs to come out here and apologize right now. Cue Rey, who tries to explain but gets slapped by Vickie. Berating ensues, followed by Edge beating Rey down. Rey is ready for the Conchairto though and hits a quick 619 to send Edge bailing. With Rey and Vickie alone, Rey apologizes to her. Fine enough segment with the challenger standing…well not quite tall but close enough.

No Way Out rundown.

Raw Rebound.

Edge won’t say what he is asking Vickie next week.

Edgeheads vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Yang dropkicks Ryder down to start but it’s quickly off to Hawkins for a forearm to the chest. The villains start taking turns working on Yang’s arm but he gets a boot up in the corner to cut off a charging Hawkins. Moore comes in for a quick legdrop on Ryder, who is right back up with a reverse inverted DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a match that never had a chance to go anywhere and it seems that Yang and Moore’s completely out of nowhere run is finished. They were a fun enough team, who had no chance to actually do anything because the tag division is that weak. Hawkins and Ryder work well together though and it makes sense to give them a win like this to establish them as something more serious than just Edge’s goons.

Great Khali/MVP/Big Daddy V vs. Batista/Finlay/Undertaker

Matt Striker, Runjin Singh and Hornswoggle are here too. We’re joined in progress with Khali hammering on Finlay before MVP comes in to do the same. Finlay fights out of trouble and hands it off to Batista to start on the arm. V comes in and misses the huge charge into the corner, allowing Batista to hit the shoulders in the corner. Undertaker gets to come in and unload with right hands and headbutts before cranking the arm around the top.

Old School is broken up but the second attempt works just fine. An MVP distraction lets V drop Undertaker with a clothesline though and we take a break. Back with MVP hammering on Undertaker but Batista comes in for a suplex. Finlay gets a chance to stomp on MVP, who manages to send him over the top and outside. Everything breaks down and Undertaker grabs a chair, which can’t possibly end well.

We settle down to Khali coming in and stomping on Finlay before stopping to pose. For once that isn’t a bad idea as it’s off to V for a rather easy slam. MVP’s chinlock doesn’t last long and he misses the running boot in the corner, allowing the tag off to Undertaker. Snake Eyes into the big boot (that’s always smooth) gets two and everything breaks down. The parade of secondary finishes sets up Undertaker’s chokeslam to MVP as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Well good for them for not having Undertaker pin MVP, the US Champion. The result was pretty definitive but they didn’t have someone take an unnecessary fall. It’s almost like WWE was thinking about this for a change. Anyway, you know that the Chamber has two possible winners so the match is going to be a lot of filler before the finish, but at least they did something smart here.

Post match Undertaker, Finlay and Batista stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. We are firmly at the point where No Way Out is set and there isn’t much left to do. WWE has done a decent enough job with half of pay per view that isn’t so interesting so this was about as good as they can do. Hopefully they can come up with something good for next week, because that could be quite the lame show. For now though, this was just barely ok enough, but there is nothing you need to see.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So we are firmly into the build for No Way Out, which will feature John Cena challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, plus an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully we’re only getting the build toward one Elimination Chamber match, which should fill in most of this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton is in the ring to start things off and it looks like we’ve got a contract signing. Orton recaps the setup of his title match with John Cena at No Way Out, which is Cena’s Royal Rumble title shot. That’s not good enough for Orton though, which is why he wants a contract signed so Cena has no way out. Orton’s lawyers have already signed the contract and he has signed it, so get Cena out here to sign it too.

After a quick walk through the back, here is Cena to quite the ovation. Cena wastes no time in signing and Orton is rather pleased, because the match is on no matter what happens to Cena, including in his arm wrestling match with Mark Henry tonight. Cue Henry for a distraction so the RKO can lay Cena out. They certainly didn’t waste time here.

Post break, Henry and Orton deny planning anything in advance. Violence is promised for later tonight.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix/Victoria

Kelly goes after Victoria to start and manages a backslide, which has commentary far too impressed. Mickie comes in to go after Beth but gets pulled off the top, which might be a knee injury. A guillotine works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers her into the corner. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits a tornado DDT to finish Victoria.

Mickie wants the title.

William Regal tells Hornswoggle to get ready to join Vince McMahon’s special club. Regal: “I’m in it!”

Here is Shawn Michaels, with JR saying HHH isn’t here tonight due to a family emergency. Shawn talks about how close he got to winning the WWE Title last year at Wrestlemania but he doesn’t want to be second place. He is ready to go back this year so everyone in the Elimination Chamber is on notice. Shawn: “Friend, family and Umaga….whatever he is, he’s on notice too!”

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt to say he respects Shawn and how much he loved their Wrestlemania match. But then Shawn suggested he is going to win the Elimination Chamber and that’s too far. Jericho has been inside the Chamber three times and knows what it takes to make it to the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt to say that he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania for the first time.

Now it’s JBL interrupting to say he gets what he wants. He has bought Umaga to get him to the main event of Wrestlemania….so here is Umaga to interrupt. After staring down the good guys, Umaga turns to JBL and backs him into the corner, which brings out Snitsky, to say the other five have had their chances. Fans: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Shawn doesn’t care for threats and mocks Snitsky’s teeth before hitting him in the face. The brawl is on and we probably have a six man for later. Indeed as William Regal comes out to make the six man tag. This took a long time to get to the point and was mainly there to get all six of the Elimination Chamber participants out there.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy dropkicks the knee out to start and hammers away at the leg. The knee is twisted back and then around the post but Crazy uses the free leg to kick Kennedy in the head. That’s broken up and Kennedy grabs…kind of an inverted Figure Four for the fast tap. At least the hold was different than just a copy of Flair’s Figure Four.

Post match Kennedy shows us a clip of MVP taking out Ric Flair’s knee last week on Smackdown. Therefore, Kennedy is giving Flair a chance to come here next week and forfeit the No Way Out match and save his leg. They’re taking a different path to Kennedy vs. Flair and it’s more interesting than I would have thought.

Mike Adamle hypes up the Raw Elimination Chamber.

Video on the Chamber itself.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Carlito and Marella. Kendrick dropkicks Carlito for a fast two but Marella low bridges him to the floor. London chases Marella around the ring, leaving Carlito to hit a Backstabber to finish Kendrick. Remember when London and Kendrick were one of the best teams in the company?

Vince McMahon is preparing for Hornswoggle to join his, ahem, special club. This involves a, quote, “Professional a** buffer” and “a** cream”. Vince: “Mr. McMahon’s a** in HD!”

Here’s Vince to humiliate Hornswoggle again. He talks about how you can’t reason with a child, so you have to discipline them. After ranting about children in the audience, Vince says you have to literally make them kiss your a**. Cue Hornswoggle, who Vince blames for the whole thing and it’s going to hurt Vince more than him.

Vince drops his pants and asks for a pardon of the tan lines. Hornswoggle goes to kiss it but Vince demands that he kiss it (that felt like a missed cue). Cue Finlay to ask what is wrong with Vince, who threatens a firing. Actually, Finlay can kiss it instead, but Hornswoggle gives it a bite. That doesn’t work for Vince, who makes himself vs. Hornswoggle next week, No DQ, and if Finlay interferes, he’s fired. This was WAY longer than any segment involving Vince not wearing pants should have been.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Non-title. Holly elbows Murdoch down to start so it’s off to Cade to run Holly over right back. That doesn’t last long and Cody comes in with a top rope ax handle, setting up a bulldog. Everything breaks down and Cody DDTs Murdoch for the pin.

Post match Carlito and Santino Marella come out to challenge for the titles. Egads that’s a rough time for the belts.

No Way Out rundown.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Snitsky/Umaga

Shawn and Umaga start things off with Shawn’s chops having no effect. Umaga misses a sitdown splash so Jericho comes in and gets headbutted down without much trouble. It’s off to Snitsky to miss a big boot, allowing Jericho to triangle dropkick him out to the floor. Hardy comes in (big reaction for that) and gets slammed by Snitsky, allowing JBL to pound away.

A hard shoulder drops Hardy but Snitsky comes in and allows the tag off to Shawn. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Snitsky in trouble but everything breaks down. The good guys hit triple dives and we take a break with the fans sounding rather enthusiastic. Back with Jericho in trouble and getting caught in the wrong corner.

Umaga grabs a bearhug before hitting the Samoan drop for two. Jericho tries to fight out but gets kicked in the back to cut him right back down. An enziguri gives Jericho a breather though and the hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Snitsky.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard, long form six man here with Hardy winning for the feel good moment. Hardy is going to be the fan favorite in the Chamber and giving him some momentum on the way there is the right thing to do. The fans wanted to see him do anything here and it’s not like Jericho and Shawn need to pin Snitsky. Basic six man formula here and it worked just fine.

And now, arm wrestling between John Cena and Mark Henry. As expected, Henry takes forever to start and gets in a cheap shot on Cena’s recently injured chest. They go, Henry is about to win, Cena is about to win, Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena. The RKO and AA are blocked and Orton runs, leaving Cena to AA Henry to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as they had two stories, with the Elimination Chamber stuff and John Cena vs. Randy Orton. That filled in part of the show, but there wasn’t much else to fill in time other than those two stories. Unfortunately the other big story was Vince/Hornswoggle and….yeah that was as Vince of a segment as you could have had. No Way Out is all but set and that has me wondering how bad things are going to go next week when they don’t have much to say. For now though, it was just an ok show without much to fill in the gaps between the big stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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