Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,133
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and now that the Smackdown main event has been announced, you have to expect the Raw counterpart will be set up soon. The big story tonight is a one night reunion of D-Generation X, as HHH needs some help deal with Randy Orton and Umaga. Sounds Survivor Seriesish to me. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Fabulous Moolah.

Opening sequence.

Here is D-Generation X to get things going. After a fairly long entrance, HHH says this is for one night only and asks if we’re ready. The catchphrase is loaded up but a crotch chopping Hornswoggle interrupts. HHH: “Well that’s…different.” HHH tells him to get back under the ring but Hornswoggle doesn’t listen. Shawn is asked for a run sheet and, after going through all of his merchandise, finds said sheet in his boot (Shawn: “In case I forget what I’m supposed to do.”).

The sheet says DX PROMO in segment one at 9PM (HHH: “East coast time.”) and Hornswoggle isn’t on until the short segment. Hornswoggle then armdrags Shawn into an armscissors (with HHH pointing out that it is the SHORT armscissors). Shawn: “I’m going to make a judgment call here: for tonight, he’s in.”. Hornswoggle doesn’t want to go under the ring because there’s a monster under there.

Shawn goes to look….and is pulled under. He comes back up with worms in his mouth so here is the Boogeyman. HHH hands him a mic, with Boogeyman saying “I’M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I’M COMING TO…..see if I can join DX.” Shawn makes another executive decision and lets Boogeyman in again so here is Great Khali as a bonus. Shawn: “To keep me from turning into a human Slim Jim, let’s pretend he isn’t here and move on.” HHH goes into an Indian impression that would get him thrown off the air today but now it’s Coach interrupting.

HHH isn’t having this and tells Runjin Singh what Coach said about Khali earlier. Shawn, who CAN’T LIE, backs HHH up and Khali chases Coach to the floor. Everyone else leaves, with Shawn saying he doesn’t know who writes this anymore but this is the worst thing he’s seen since that Katie Vick thing. HHH: “I don’t think anyone writes this crap. They’re on strike.” Catchphrases are hit to wrap up the wackiness.

Actor Luke Perry is here. There are some kids around him, and if one of those is his son, we have seen the wrestling debut of the future Jungle Boy.

We look back at Kelly Kelly winning last week’s Halloween battle royal and getting destroyed by Beth Phoenix after.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Non-title and Phoenix grabs a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin in less than a minute. Well so much for Kelly for the time being, which is how it should go in this situation.

Santino Marella knows that Steve Austin will be here tonight and mocks Austin’s acting abilities. He even throws in a paper bag, so Austin can act his way out of it.

Carlito vs. Joey Munoz

Hold on though as Carlito says he isn’t wrestling so here is a replacement.

Snitsky vs. Joey Munoz

Pumphandle slam finishes Munoz in about thirty seconds.

Post match Snitsky kicks Carlito in the face and gives him the pumphandle slam too. Time for another Snitsky push it seems.

We get a Jeff Hardy video set to Rooftops by Lostprophets. This is actually on Peacock despite it being a music video and the Lostprophets singer being a monster. That aside, this is a heck of a video, with the lyrics about screaming and dropping bombs being timed to shots of fans screaming for Hardy and Swantons. You can tell something big is coming for him and that is a very good idea. Ignore Jerry Lawler being heard asking “how long is it” after the video starts.

For Survivor Series: Team HHH (HHH/CM Punk/Kane/Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy) vs. Team Umaga (Umaga/MVP/Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/Big Daddy V).

Mr. Kennedy/Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio/Jeff Hardy

JR dubs Hardy and Mysterio as the WWE Air Force. Hardy and Finlay go to the mat to start until a Kennedy distraction lets Finlay hit a clothesline to the floor. We take a break and come back with Mysterio hitting a springboard crossbody on Kennedy, only to have him run Mysterio over.

It’s Finlay coming back in to go after the knee, including a half crab. The legdrop onto the knee makes it worse and Kennedy adds a right hand for two. Mysterio is back with something like a DDT, allowing the hot tag off to Hardy to clean house. The Whisper in the Wind hits Kennedy but Finlay makes the save. Rey 619s Finlay to the floor, leaving Hardy to hit the Swanton for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard midcard tag match here with the wrestlers involved being good enough to make almost anything work. Mysterio vs. Finlay is set up for a blowoff on Friday while Hardy vs. Kennedy seems to have run its course. That being said, throw in the video package before the match and it is hard to imagine they are waiting much longer on giving Hardy the main event push, which seems to have been set up for a few weeks now.

Maria tries to tell Santino Marella that Steve Austin is here but he doesn’t buy it.

Here are Maria and Santino Marella for a chat. Santino mocks the Condemned, then he mocks the Condemned’s director, then he mocks the Condemned again, then Steve Austin comes out. Austin corrects Santino’s errors in his catchphrases and then asks about the Condemned again. Santino really did hate the movie and turns down a beer, saying he would rather have a glass of red wine. Austin hands him a copy of the Condemned but Santino can’t watch it again.

There’s the Stunner, allowing Austin to put the DVD in Santino’s mouth. Austin thinks Santino is thirsty and goes to the back before coming out driving a beer truck. Santino gets sprayed down and, despite her begging, so does Maria. Beer is consumed to wrap up a segment that wasn’t funny and felt pretty out of character for Austin. I know he needs to promote a DVD, but that just doesn’t feel like an Austin thing.

SAVE US!

Vince McMahon is in the back with Hornswoggle and takes the blame for the trouble Hornswoggle has had with Jonathan Coachman. McMahon even has a way for Hornswoggle to prove himself at Survivor Series…..when he faces Great Khali.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is in the back and has been asked to talk because they need to fill in time while Steve Austin’s mess is cleaned up. Shawn Michaels comes in to say he has it set, so here are the DX Dancers….which is Big Dick Johnson. HHH isn’t impressed but Shawn says he’s a father of two so the only cool thing he knows is Dora the Explorer. Don’t worry though as HHH has The Girls Next Door (from a Playboy reality show, meaning Shawn leaves with his eyes covered). Dancing ensues and it’s very strange to see HHH…..I guess it’s dancing but I’m not sure.

Lance Cade sends Mickie James away for talking to Trevor Murdoch.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Cody Rhodes

Ignore Lilian Garcia saying Lance Cade (at ringside) is in the match by mistake. Hardcore Holly is here too and Rhodes is sent to the apron to start, where he gets in a shoulder to the ribs. Murdoch breaks that up and takes him down for a chinlock as Lawler and JR make as many redneck jokes as they can. Rhodes fights up and hits a bulldog into a knee drop for two but Cade’s distraction fails. Murdoch misses a charge into the corner though and Rhodes grabs a sunset flip for the pin. Not much to this one but Rhodes wins again.

Tribute video to Fabulous Moolah. This includes a rundown of her career highlights, such as becoming the first woman to wrestle in Madison Square Garden. I guess she wrestled herself that night.

Jim Duggan/Super Crazy vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Before the match, Duggan and Crazy chant SI/HO over and over. Haas knocks Crazy over to start and hits a slam before handing it off to Benjamin. More slamming abounds as Duggan continues to play cheerleader on the apron. Benjamin knocks Duggan off the apron but Crazy grabs a rollup (with trunks) for the pin. Duggan never tagged in but he does pat Crazy on the head after the win.

Umaga/Randy Orton vs. D-Generation X

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Orton being sent into the announcers’ table before being thrown inside. Umaga comes in to miss a sitdown splash on Michaels, allowing HHH to grab a surprisingly effective DDT. HHH gets knocked outside though and we take a break. Back with Umaga missing a charge in the corner, allowing the tag off to Orton. That’s fine with HHH, who drops Orton almost immediately.

Michaels comes back in for the usual comeback, including the forearm and top rope elbow. Umaga isn’t having that and runs Shawn over, allowing Orton to bring Umaga in for real. Some right hands keep Shawn down in the corner and it’s back to Orton for a dropkick. The circle stomp sets up the running Umaga splash and we’re off to the nerve hold.

The middle rope headbutt misses and an enziguri to the shoulder (not sure that’s how that works) allows the hot tag back to HHH. Everything breaks down and Umaga saves Orton from the Pedigree with the Spike, setting up the running hip attack in the corner. The RKO is countered with a shove into Umaga though and Shawn comes in for a quick superkick to pin Orton.

Rating: C+. Much like the other tag match, they played the formula here and it still works, as everyone involved can do this style rather well. Shawn vs. Orton II should be a good showdown at Survivor Series, while Umaga vs. HHH at least has the team format to keep things a little more fresh. The DX reunion was good for a night, but I don’t need to see it again going forward.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what this show was but it didn’t exactly work. Maybe it is due to Survivor Series coming up so soon, but this felt like a weird side trip rather than a show designed to help set up the pay per view. There were so many short matches that didn’t add much and it was a weird night all around. The DX reunion was fun but the Austin cameo fell pretty flat, leaving this as a not very appealing two hours. Much more strange than good this week and that isn’t a positive thing.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: November 2, 2007
Location: Nassau Coliseum, New York City, New York
Attendance: 12,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are done with Cyber Sunday and the big story on the blue side is Batista FINALLY defeating the Undertaker to retain the World Title. It is time to get towards Survivor Series and that could go in more than a few directions. They don’t have a ton of time to set it up though so hopefully we start getting somewhere this week. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

Here is Batista to get things going. He talks about growing up in a rough neighborhood and having to fight for everything. Now he has done the same thing here, with every kind of fight you could imagine. Then on Sunday, he finally accomplished something he thought he would never do when he defeated the Undertaker. Their rivalry has been a war and now they are 1-1-2 and that makes them even.

Tonight they’re partners, but their differences have not been settled. He has Undertaker’s back but wants to know if Undertaker has his. There go the lights and Undertaker appears in the ring. Undertaker says he has Batista’s back because Batista still has the one thing that he wants. Batista asks if that means he wants a rematch, so the match is on. As Batista goes to leave, Undertaker says let’s do it in the Cell. Well that escalated.

In the back, Vickie Guerrero comes up to Jamie Noble, who panics and says he wasn’t hurting anyone. Vickie doesn’t have time for this because she has to work on the Cell match. Jamie thinks he’s being put in the match with them but she has a gift for him: a Rey Mysterio DVD, because he is facing Rey tonight. That works a lot better for Noble, who thinks Vickie is sweet on him. Oh and maybe later they could watch, ahem, some different DVDs.

Festus vs. Domino

Their respective partners are here too as Batista vs. Undertaker in the Cell is set for Survivor Series. Festus starts fast with a backdrop and some shots to the face for two. Domino goes to the eyes to escape and hits some knees to the face. That earns him another kick to the head as Jesse takes out an interfering Deuce. A fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin without much trouble.

Video on Eve winning the Diva Search.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Finlay, who is facing Rey next week, comes out to watch at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Jamie flipping him over by the arm and barring it for a bonus. That’s fine with Rey, who climbs up Noble and grabs a sunset flip for two. Back up and Noble hits a running knee to the ribs to cut Rey down but he’s fine enough to load up the 619. That sends Noble bailing to the floor, where Rey gets in a kick to the legs to put Noble in more trouble.

Noble gets back in and hits something like an over the shoulder backbreaker spun into a cutter over the top (that’s a new one) to take over. A northern lights suplex stays on the banged up arm and the armbar goes on again. Noble drops him face first onto the mat and puts on the armbar for a third time. That’s broken up and Rey headscissors him down into a Fujiwara armbar. Noble slips out so Rey hits a springboard seated senton, only to charge into a powerslam. The tiger driver is loaded up but Rey reverses into a hurricanrana for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where you can have two guys do just about anything get a good match out of them. Noble has been used as a goon in recent weeks but he is capable of doing something like this if he is given the chance. Rey vs. Finlay sounds like it should be a good blowoff match next week too, as they have had a solid feud over the last few weeks.

Post match Finlay calls Rey a quitter and a loser, which he’ll prove next week.

Raw Rebound.

Matt Hardy is still healing and he’ll be ready to go next week. That’s cool with MVP, because he survived at Cyber Sunday and they need to get back to dominating. Matt agrees, and wishes MVP luck in his match tonight. MVP doesn’t know anything about a match, but it’s next…and Kane’s pyro goes off.

MVP vs. Kane

Non-title. Kane punches him down to start and a hard whip into the corner bangs up MVP’s ribs. Back up and MVP gets in a few shots of his own but a backbreaker gives Kane two. Some shots to Kane’s bad ribs (you might want to come up with something different) slow him down though and a running shoulder to the ribs gives MVP two of his own.

Kane rocks him with an uppercut but MVP is right back on the ribs as they aren’t making this very complicated. That’s reversed into a bearhug on the mat but MVP reverses into a seated abdominal stretch. MVP kicks him out to the floor and we come back with Kane having to fight out of a bodyscissors. Kane gets in a faceplant out of the corner and the top rope clothesline connects, setting up the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure who put this together but they could have done a bit better than an exchange of working on the ribs over and over. Have Kane’s shoulder hit the post or something but find a way to mix it up. Also, the US Champion gets pinned again, which probably doesn’t set up another title match, but at least they had this happen again because of course they did.

Post match Big Daddy V comes in to drop Kane and crush the ribs again. Cole: “He is a mean man!”

Mick Foley vs. Jonathan Coachman

Foley is the hometown boy and this match needs a guest referee in the form of Hornswoggle. Coach realizes he’s in trouble and Foley shoves him over Hornswoggle to make it worse. Foley rakes his eyes over the top and drops an elbow, setting up the green Mr. Socko. Hornswoggle adds the Tadpole Splash so Foley can get the pin. Just a quick way to make the live fans smile.

Next week, ECW World Champion CM Punk comes to Smackdown.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Chuck Palumbo

Victoria and Michelle McCool are here too. Palumbo hits him in the face to start and grabs a belly to back suplex for an early two. They head outside with Palumbo being sent back first into the apron as JBL talks about what a great future Dykstra has. Back in and Palumbo snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Michelle cuts off Victoria’s interference and Palumbo hits a top rope shoulder. Full Throttle finishes Dykstra off.

Rating: D+. Palumbo’s total stall continues and that is due to having him face people like Kenny Dykstra and Chris Masters. WWE has presented him as nothing more than a lower level guy and there is no reason to care about him. You’re only going to get so far with this and Palumbo has hit that point.

Rey Mysterio’s DVD went on sale last week.

Great Khali and Mark Henry shout at each other in a strategy session.

Great Khali/Mark Henry vs. Undertaker/Batista

Undertaker starts fast on Henry but Old School is broken up. Some shots to the arm put Henry in the corner though and now Old School connects. Henry gets knocked off the apron and we take an early break. Back with Batista driving Henry into the corner as well, allowing Undertaker to come in for a headbutt.

A running knee in the corner gets two (and has Batista impressed) but Henry powers Undertaker into the corner to bring in Khali. Since you don’t want Khali doing much more than kicking away in the corner, Henry comes back in and gets taken down with the running DDT. Batista comes in and gets elbowed in the face by Khali, setting up the big chop for two.

The Vice Grip goes on and makes Undertaker pace on the apron before eventually making the save. Batista spears Khali down and it’s back to Undertaker to unload on Henry. Everything breaks down and Batista spinebusters Henry, followed by Undertaker big booting Khali. The Batista Bomb is loaded up….but JBL runs in to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C. This worked in a bit of a weird way, mainly because no one is going to buy Henry and Khali as a threat to the top two forces on the show. They didn’t bother having Undertaker and Batista in that much trouble, but the ending was a bit of a surprise. JBL is pretty clearly getting ready to make some kind of a comeback, though I’m not sure how much interest there is in having another big guy on a show with so many monsters.

Henry and Khali wreck Batista and Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was all about the Undertaker vs. Batista Cell announcement and a grand total of nothing else. The second biggest thing on this show was finding out that Rey Mysterio has a new DVD out. Maybe it’s fallout from the pay per view or not needing much for Survivor Series, but this was a weak show and I was pretty bored.

 

 

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Cyber Sunday 2007
Date: October 28, 2007
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 10,094
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles

This show can’t come fast enough, as the build hasn’t exactly been great. The good thing is there are enough interesting matches on the show and some of the stipulations could work out. The voting is enough of a hook to make the show, which includes Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title against someone and Batista vs. Undertaker with a referee to be determined, work. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has an election theme, as the wrestlers have been trying to gain the fans’ votes. Giving the fans a direct say is always a good idea.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

Stretcher Match – 40%
No Disqualification Match – 36%
Shillelagh On A Pole Match – 24%

There is a stretcher at ringside and you have to put your opponent on it and move over a line. Finlay starts fast by getting Rey into the corner and sending him shoulder first into the post. A toss sends Rey under the ropes and onto the stretcher before Finlay drops him ribs first onto it again. It’s way too early to send Rey over the line though so he heads back inside for a change.

A headscissors takes Finlay down and a basement dropkick staggers him again, meaning it’s time to go outside again. Finlay fights off of the stretcher though and kicks Rey in the chest…before going up the pole that has the Shillelagh in case the other stipulation was picked. Rey powerbombs him out of the corner and grabs the Shillelagh himself but Finlay takes it away and starts going after Rey’s knee.

Finlay rams the stretcher into Rey, who manages a 619 on the apron to send Finlay onto the stretcher. A splash is almost enough to get him over the line but the stretcher gets caught on a TV cord. With that out of the way, a flapjack onto the stretcher is enough to give Rey the win.

Rating: C+. The stretcher was a bit of a weird way to go but it was a unique enough of a way to go. These two have had a nice feud over the last few weeks and Mysterio gets a win to keep him in the thing. Finlay continues to be a perfectly solid midcard villain and he should be able to keep things going for a pretty long while to come.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP is off the card because Matt busted his head WAY open on Smackdown. He looks like he was in a car crash as MVP comes in to offer condolences. Matt says that MVP gets to face someone the fans pick for the US Title, with the options being Mark Henry, Great Khali or Kane. MVP’s panicked face is great as he’s off to talk to Vickie Guerrero about this.

JBL begs fans to vote for him to referee the main event.

We see the Divas in their Halloween costumes, including

Maria (cat)
Victoria (sumo wrestler, with Kenny Dykstra as Mr. Fuji, setting up the Ron Simmons cameo)

More on this later I’m assuming.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. ???

The Miz – 39%
John Morrison – 33%
Big Daddy V – 28%

That’s about as expected, as ECW had been pushing Miz as the challenger and he’s a fresh match. Punk takes him down with a front facelock to start before taking him down into a headlock. Miz reverses into a headscissors and they get up to their feet for a slugout. There’s a slingshot suplex to give Punk two but Miz gets in a few shots of his own. Punk catches him on top, only to get pulled down for a crash.

The running corner clothesline gets two and Miz grabs a cravate. The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle and Punk comes back with a suplex for two. Miz is right back with a neck snap across the top and we hit the chinlock. With that not working, Miz goes up but Punk runs the corner for a super armdrag. The springboard clothesline gives Punk two and, after avoiding a running knee, he hits the GTS to retain the title.

Rating: C. I like Miz getting the shot but this was a TV match and nothing more. Miz isn’t ready to take the title but it is a nice way for him to get his feet wet on a higher stage. He has done well so far and getting a pay per view title match of his own shows you what he might be capable of doing. Punk needs some bigger challengers soon though, and this was another stop gap.

More costumes!

Mickie James (Native American)
Torrie Wilson (Washington football player)

We recap the Raw World Title situation. Randy Orton is the champion but needs a challenger. The options include Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels and here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 59%
Jeff Hardy – 31%
Mr. Kennedy – 10%

Therefore, we need a bonus match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Kennedy driving him into the corner but Hardy walks the corner with a headlock takeover. That’s reversed into one from Kennedy but Hardy sends him outside and hits the big dive off the top. Back in and Hardy rains down right hands in the corner but Kennedy knocks him outside. A running boot to the head gets two on Hardy on the way back in and we hit the neck crank.

There’s a DDT for two on Hardy and we hit the chinlock. With that let go, Kennedy goes up top but gets super hurricanranaed back down. Jeff hits a heck of a clothesline into the Sling Blade for two. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same but the slingshot kick in the corner misses and Kennedy steals the pin.

Rating: C+. That was a rather weird ending as Kennedy pinned him clean off the miss and Hardy wasn’t even close to kickout out. If they were working a fake injury there, Hardy sold it very well as he looked a bit stunned when he hit the mat. The match felt like it could have been on any given Raw, though it worked out pretty well as a bonus match, odd ending aside.

Michael Cole votes for Kane to face MVP.

More Halloween costumes, with Michelle McCool as Eve from the Garden of Eden and Melina as a Las Vegas showgirl.

Mick Foley is in the back to talk about possibly being the guest referee tonight but JBL cuts him off. JBL goes on a rant about how Foley is just here to sell some book so we see a very pro-JBL/anti-Austin/Foley campaign style video. After the video, Foley says it’s interesting that he is between Fatheads (big wall decorations) of Batista and Undertaker when JBL is the biggest fathead around. Foley has been a referee before and he can do it again.

US Title: MVP vs. ???

Kane – 67%
Great Khali – 24%
Mark Henry – 9%

Kane is challenging and that is a pretty definitive pick. MVP bails to the floor to start and asks for an early time out. Back in and MVP slugs away but gets dropped with a single shot to the face. A big boot into the side slam gives Kane two but MVP goes after Kane’s bad ribs to take over.

Some stomping to the ribs set up the running boot in the corner for two and we hit the abdominal stretch on the mat. Kane fights up and goes after MVP’s ribs for a change, including standing on them in the corner. A backbreaker sets up a quickly released abdominal stretch on MVP before Kane bends the ribs around the post. That’s enough for MVP who takes the countout to retain.

Rating: C-. Speaking of TV matches, they didn’t even have a good one here, as Kane mauled him for the most part and then won via countout, likely setting up a rematch. This was also rather short, with the two of them not having time to get very far. MVP escapes to continue holding both titles though and that is the right way to go in the long term.

SAVE US!

Back to the Halloween costumes, with Layla as a cop and Kelly Kelly as a gangsta (her term).

Randy Orton says be careful what you wish for. He sends us to a recap video of the bad things he has done to Shawn Michaels, including putting him on the shelf.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Orton is defending and we get started after some fairly lengthy referee’s directions. Shawn starts fast with a knee to the ribs and some chops to send Orton to the floor. That means a slingshot flip dive to drop Orton again and they head back inside to slug it out. Orton takes him down and grabs a front facelock but gets sent shoulder first into the post to break that up.

That means it’s time to start going after Orton’s arm, including a short armscissors. With that broken up, Shawn goes to the headlock with the arm trapped but Orton fights up and drops him onto the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the dropkick, setting up the rear naked choke.

With that broken up, Michaels reverses a belly to back suplex into a crossbody for two. The backbreaker gives Orton two more though and Shawn is down again. The superplex is broken up with some right hands and Shawn…misses the top rope elbow. Since it’s Shawn, he chops his way out of trouble and hits the running forearm into the nip up. Now the top rope elbow can connect but Shawn’s superkick is cut off by a low blow for the DQ

Rating: B-. While a better match, this was rather similar to MVP vs. Kane, as it felt designed to set up something else down the line. Orton wasn’t about to lose the title so soon but they also didn’t want to have Shawn lost on his first pay per view match back. That left this as about the only choice and it came off well, as the two of them are talented enough to make anything work in any situation.

Post match Orton loads up the Punk but Shawn is back up with the superkick to leave Orton laying (after a great sell as he staggers a bit and then collapses).

Back to the costumes, with Brooke as a jungle girl and Jillian Hall as Brittney Spears.

We recap HHH vs. Umaga, with Umaga serving as HHH has been mocking Vince McMahon over being Hornswoggle’s father. Therefore it is time for some violence, with the fans getting to pick the stipulation. This time though, there are three viable options and it could go any way.

HHH vs. Umaga

Street Fight – 57%
Steel Cage – 26%
First Blood – 17%

I’m a bit surprised it’s that one sided. HHH goes straight for him in the aisle and they fight on the keyboard set. The Samoan drop is escaped so HHH spears him through part of the set. They fight into the crowd with HHH being knocked down the steps but being able to backdrop Umaga over the barricade.

Some right hands inside stagger Umaga and a trashcan shot to the head gives HHH two. Now the Samoan drop can connect and Umaga starts in on the ribs. It’s back to the floor with HHH being sent into the steps, setting up the bearhug back inside. With that not working, Umaga hits the running hip attack in the corner for two so the referee gets scared out to the floor.

Umaga grabs a chair but HHH uses it to hit him low. A DDT onto the chair gives HHH two but Umaga plants him with the swinging Rock Bottom. Umaga starts loading up a bunch of announcers’ tables but HHH knocks him over them to get the brawling going again. That means HHH is laid out on the table for a running splash from one table and through another. The top rope splash misses back inside though and HHH grabs the sledgehammer. After ducking the Samoan Spike, the sledgehammer to the head sets up the Pedigree to finish Umaga.

Rating: B. Match of the night here so far, as HHH got to slay the dragon, albeit after the dragon put up a heck of a fight. That is where Umaga plays a rather important role, as he is able to do this against almost anyone. The fact that he is in there against HHH makes it better, as he certainly knows how to do this kind of thing. Odds are they probably did this at a few dozen house shows so they had the practice down too. Good fight.

Halloween costume results! JR: “Let’s just cancel the whole thing.”

Mickie James – 21%
Kelly Kelly – 17%
Torrie Wilson – 15%
Melina – 12%
Maria – 12%
Layla – 7%
Jillian Hall – 5%
Victoria – 4%
Brooke – 4%
Michelle McCool – 3%

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker, which is one of the bigger and better feuds in recent years. They have gone back and forth over a good chunk of the year (without Batista actually being able to beat him) and now it is time for their latest round. That means it’s time for a special guest referee….but first we need to hear about 13 million people voting. We also need to hear from JBL, who knows everyone has voted for him. Cue Mick Foley for the results:

Steve Austin – 79%
Mick Foley – 11%
John Bradshaw Layfield – 10%

JBL and Foley get in a brawl but here’s Austin too. JBL beats Austin down in the corner but the Clothesline From JBL is cut off with the Stunner and does his posing so we can get it out of the fans’ systems.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Steve Austin is guest referee. Batista misses the spear at the bell so he tries a headlock, which is broken up in a hurry. Another headlock is countered into a big boot to give Undertaker two and he sends Batista’s arm into the buckle. Batista fights back and hits a few shoulders to the ribs in the corner. That’s broken up and Undertaker grabs a triangle choke before taking him to the apron for the big boot to the side of the head.

The arm is wrapped around the top rope again but Undertaker misses a running big boot to put him down again. They head outside with Undertaker being sent into various hard objects, only to come back with his jumping clothesline. Old School is broken up and Undertaker misses another running boot in the corner, sending him crashing to the floor. Back in and Undertaker drops onto Undertaker’s back a few times for two and they’re already on the outside again.

The apron legdrop has Batista in more trouble and Snake Eyes makes it worse. The big boot is cut off with Batista’s big clothesline for two as this is all high impact so far. Undertaker drives him into the corner to break up the Batista Bomb though and the bad arm is sent into the post. Batista manages a spinebuster for a delayed two but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke.

In a smart move, Batista stacks him up for two and Undertaker has to let go. The chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is escaped, allowing Batista to hit a spear for two of his own. Batista hammers away but gets caught in the Last Ride for another close two. Another spinebuster gives Batista another two..,and Undertaker sits up, scaring the heck out of Batista. The Batista Bomb is only good for two and Batista is shocked all over again. One more Batista Bomb finally puts Undertaker away to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is another one of those pairings that is going to work no matter what. Batista finally gets to beat Undertaker and that is what he needed to do at some point, especially if they are going to fight again someday. They followed their standard formula here of letting both guys beat each other up for a long time and it still works. Austin was a complete non-factor here, which was rather nice for a change.

Overall Rating: B+. Despite a not great build with the campaigning stuff, this was a pretty sweet show with one good match after another. There might not be a classic on the card but having a string of pay per view quality stuff mixed in with some solid TV level matches made for a good three hours. They got this right, though it is something that could only work once a year or so.

 

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: October 26, 2007
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Cyber Sunday and if Raw and ECW are any indication, this show might be a bit rough. You can only get so far with the focus being on setting up a stipulation or decision that you don’t find out until the pay per view, but at least with the World Title match it is only about the referee. Maybe this one will work a bit better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with the VIP Lounge with Matt Hardy as his co-host (Matt: “What’s up homie?”) and Finlay and Rey Mysterio as his guests. MVP asks for things to stay calm but Finlay talks about beating Rey up time after time. He brings up the possible stipulations at Cyber Sunday, including stretcher match, No DQ or Shillelagh on a Pole. Rey brings up MVP having to face Matt Hardy in an MMA fight, a boxing match or just a wrestling match. MVP doesn’t want to hear it and talks about the upcoming tag match tonight. Rey and Finlay, partners tonight, get in a fight though and we wrap it up.

Batista looks at a clip of his interview with JBL last week where JBL called him a coward and got beaten up. He’s cool with anyone as referee as long as they stay out of his way. He is NOT afraid of Undertaker and there is a first time for everything, including him beating Undertaker.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane has bad ribs coming in thanks to Big Daddy V on ECW. Henry drops him with a headbutt to start so Kane tries a slam. That just leaves the bad ribs open so Henry can hammer them down and the bearhug goes on. The ribs are driven into the corner but Kane is right back with the chokeslam for the fast pin.

You can vote for Mick Foley to referee Undertaker vs. Batista so here’s a look at him.

We look at the final Diva Search competition and here are both women to tell us why you SHOULDN’T vote for the other one. Apparently Eve Torres looks too much like a man and there is only room for one Brooke in WWE.

SAVE US!

MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio/Finlay

Non-title. Matt and Finlay start things off with Finlay being driven into the corner. That means a tag off to Rey so Matt works on his wrist. MVP comes in and gets taken down with a running headscissors and it’s right back to Matt vs. Finlay. It’s Matt being put on the mat this time and Rey comes back in, only to get stomped in the corner. MVP kicks Rey to the floor where Rey comes up limping, meaning Finlay has a target back inside.

Rey is fine enough to kick him down, allowing Finlay to come back in and sit on MVP’s back. MVP faceplants Rey so Matt can come back in but both teams get in a fight as we take a break. Back with MVP and Finlay squaring off but Rey won’t take Finlay’s tag. Rey comes in a few seconds later and hits the running legdrop as JBL brings up the Killer Bees for the first time in about twenty five years.

Matt comes in and gets caught with a hurricanrana, which busts him WAY open. The Side Effect plants Rey but he’s able to bring Finlay in to go after Matt’s busted head. On the other hand, Rey can’t bring himself to hit him but he can go after MVP. A double 619 drops Matt and MVP, only to have Finlay hit Rey with the Shillelagh. The Playmaker gives MVP the academic pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as the match was designed to set up the two singles matches at Cyber Sunday, though since they are going to be happening no matter what and the stipulations don’t tie in here. Then they tried to have a regular match on top of that, making this a bit hard to pull off. It wasn’t bad, but I was hoping they would pick something and stick with it instead of doing everything.

Video on Batista vs. Undertaker.

Armando Estrada is happy with Vickie Guerrero’s efforts on the Smackdown/ECW working relationship. Tonight, it’s an ECW triple threat and he has to get things ready. Jamie Noble comes in and begs for an easier night. He suggests Vickie is, ahem, lonely and she seems into it…before giving him Batista tonight. Noble: “YOU’RE VIOLATING MY BODY!” Then he imitates Batista’s pyro and yells a lot.

Batista vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Spear, spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish in about a minute.

Post match Batista goes after JBL and slams his fist on the announcers’ table but JBL no sells it.

You can vote for Steve Austin to referee Undertaker vs. Batista so here’s a look at him.

Batista has a book.

Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who throws them into the corner for the big double splash (JBL: “THE RING MOVED!”). They head outside where Miz and Morrison avoid a charge to send V into the post for a change. That leaves Morrison to kick Miz in the head for two but Miz snaps him throat first across the top. V is back up with a clothesline to take Miz’s head off, setting up a Samoan drop on Morrison. The spinning Boss Man Slam plants Miz and the big elbow is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. What is there to say here? The match wasn’t good and it wasn’t long but the monster crushed the other two as he should have. V shouldn’t be breaking a sweat against almost any two and he did well here, though ECW has made Miz the favorite for the title shot by default.

Raw Rebound.

Jesse and Festus vs. Joe Hennig/Steve Fender

It is the genesis of Hennig’s WWE career. Festus runs over Fender to start as JBL tries to figure out what might have happened to Festus during his childhood. A Rocket Launcher finishes for Jesse in less than a minute.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

JBL is in the ring to explain why we should vote for him in a landslide. He brags about how rich and powerful he is and asks about why you would want a stuntman or a beer drinker as referee. We get a campaign style ad on why we should vote for him, because he has never pulled a gun on his boss like Steve Austin, or thrown himself off a rooftop like Mick Foley.

Some lackeys bring out VOTE FOR JBL shirts, which are given out to Michael Cole, Lilian Roberts and the ring announcer, whose name JBL can’t remember. As for now though, Undertaker can come out here and get his own shirt. After JBL chants his own name, here is Undertaker to cut him off. Undertaker takes his time but eventually JBL offers him a shirt. JBL hits his catchphrase and gets chokeslammed but here is Batista to spear Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t working for me again and that comes from the same problem that has been around for the last few weeks: we’re focusing on the things that don’t change much about the match rather than the matches itself. This show was more about JBL being the referee with the Undertaker vs. Batista stuff being added in at the end. The rest of the show wasn’t exactly interesting either and they really need to move on to a traditional build soon, because this doesn’t work very well.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: October 19, 2007
Location: NEC, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Cyber Sunday is in less than ten days and that means it is time for WWE to hammer home the matches that they want picked. Last week’s show featured a bit ending as Undertaker interrupted a #1 contenders match and signaled that he wanted the title. World Heavyweight Champion Batista seemed interested so I think we have a pay per view main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We look at Undertaker interrupting Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio from last week before signaling that he wanted Batista’s World Title. The match is officially set for Cyber Sunday and YOU can pick the referee!

Great Khali vs. Kane

Wrestlemania rematch and Runjin Singh is here with Khali. Kane slugs away to start but gets punched down. The big boot sets up the nerve hold and Khali powers him down for daring to try a comeback. Kane has to go to the ropes to break the Vice Grip so Khali elbows him in the corner. The right hands get Kane out of the corner/trouble with the top rope clothesline taking Khali down. Khali knocks him outside for daring to try the chokeslam and some choking with a camera cord is enough to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This was short and to the point with Kane not being able to get very far against this kind of power. Khali gets some of his heat back by dominating someone like Kane, who is heading to ECW sooner or later anyway. Sometimes some dominance like this is a good thing and that is what we had here.

Post match Kane fights back and takes Khali down with a bell shot but here is Big Daddy V (with Matt Striker) from ECW to interrupt. V crushes Kane with a Ghetto (Samoan) drop and stands tall.

Post break, Striker talks about how awesome V is and declares him the rocket to the top.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Rematch, because WWE wants to ruin Palumbo (here with Michelle McCool). Masters gets taken to the mat with a headlock takeover to start and Palumbo takes him to the floor for a brief chase. Back in and Palumbo counters a suplex into a delayed version of his own. That doesn’t get him very far so Masters cranks on both arms, which fires Palumbo up for the comeback. A top rope shoulder drops Masters but here is Victoria to jump McCool. The distraction lets Masters grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Why does WWE think this is the way to go? Masters’ biography is two lines long: he’s strong and he uses a full nelson. That doesn’t make him interesting, and I’m not sure why WWE insists on giving him one feud after another. Giving him Victoria as a sidekick isn’t some saving grace, but rather just window curtains over a brick wall. Palumbo was iffy at best but putting him Masters is like cutting the wheels off of his motorcycle. Nothing to see here, other than Masters continuing to exist around here for whatever reason.

MVP comes up to Matt Hardy in the back and says they have become champions but also friends. Like Michael Jordan and Steve Kerr or Tiger Woods and his caddie! Matt says they are going to have a wrestling, boxing or mixed martial arts match at Cyber Sunday but for tonight, he’s good on going out there on his own. I don’t think Matt’s heart is in this team.

Raw Rebound.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay runs him over for an early two to start so Matt is back up with a headlock. The fans seem to approve of said headlock as the HARDY chants start up until Finlay drives him into the ropes. Some kicks send Finlay to the floor for the dropkick through the ropes from Hardy. Finlay is fine enough to drive him back first into the apron and it’s a half crab going on back inside.

After escaping “that leg hold” (as Cole puts it), Hardy gets clotheslined down and put in a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Matt starts the comeback, including the running bulldog out of the corner. The Twist of Fate is blocked so Matt goes up, only to get knocked out of the air. Finlay covers and grabs the turnbuckle pad, which is pulled off during the kickout. Cue MVP to prevent Finlay going for the Shillelagh though, allowing Hardy to grab the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. Another short match here, with Finlay being his usual brawling self, which is always worth at least a look. The more interesting story here though is Hardy and MVP starting to come together after a long time, which I’m sure will last forever. Still though, it is a story that is somehow still keeping my interest after several months. That’s pretty impressive.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brian Major

Dave Taylor and Brett Major are here too. Feeling out process to start with McIntyre going after the arm but getting taken down into an armbar. Back up and Major’s cross body is countered into a throat first drop across the top rope. McIntyre’s cravate is broken up but Major misses a slingshot dive onto Taylor. After an uppercut, Taylor throws him back in for a Downward Spiral to give McIntyre the pin.

Rating: C-. McIntyre continues to not exactly impress to start but there is only so much to be gained from needing help against the Major Brothers. That being said, they seem to be doing something with him and that is better than nothing. Taylor as the manager is fine for now, but I don’t think he is going to be the best way to go for McIntyre for that much longer.

Video on Undertaker vs. Batista, which makes it feel quite epic. As it should.

JBL is in the ring for an interview with Batista. After hyping up the rivalry with Undertaker and plugging himself as the best choice for referee, JBL brings out Batista to quite the reaction. Batista: “I’m sorry, you’re still talking?” JBL says he’s leading the voting right now but Batista warns him to stay out of the way. That’s fine with JBL, who plugs Batista’s autobiography, which suggests that Batista is afraid of Undertaker. That isn’t true and Batista goes to leave, with JBL calling him a coward. Batista comes back in and shoves him down, leaving JBL looking angry/stunned.

Post break, JBL goes on a very JBL style rant against Batista.

The Diva Search girls do their best Baywatch impression, including running in slow motion. Next week: interrogation.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino and this is fallout from the two of three of them beating up Yang last week. Domino and Yang start things off with Yang chopping him to the floor and hitting the big slingshot dive. Moore comes in for some grappling but gets driven into the corner. A side slam gets two on Moore and Deuce grabs a chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Moore escapes and rolls over for the tag off to Yang. Everything breaks down and Moore pulls Domino out to the floor. Yang’s moonsault press finishes Deuce.

Rating: C-. And that’s going to be it for Deuce N Domino. I’m sure they’ll be around for a little longer, but you don’t come back from losing clean to a thrown together cruiserweight team. Deuce N Domino have been steadily falling down the card and now they are about as long as you can be while still being a team. You know, because the Smackdown tag division has so much depth to waste an established team like this one.

Jamie Noble comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and is in pretty rough shape after facing Great Khali last week. Noble suggests that Vickie’s hormones made her make such a decision last week, but he’s willing to help her with anything around here. That sounds good to Vickie, who makes Noble vs. Undertaker for later tonight. Noble’s reaction is the pure panic that you would expect.

Jamie Noble vs. Undertaker

Oddly enough, Undertaker comes out first. Noble hammers away in the corner to start and is promptly chokeslammed. The Tombstone finishes in less than a minute and a half.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

SAVE US!

MVP vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Rey starts fast and loads up an early missed 619. MVP runs him over for an early two but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. The slingshot dive hits MVP but bangs up Rey’s knee at the same time. MVP is fine enough to hit a gorilla press drop over the top and onto the mat as we take a break. Back with Rey fighting out of a front facelock but charging into an overhead belly to belly. Rey’s springboard spinning crossbody gets two and the 619 connects, only to have MVP kick him out of the air for two. Cue Finlay to go after MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C. They were starting to get going when Finlay ran in. That’s a good choice though, as you don’t want either of these two losing before they go into a big match at Cyber Sunday. It also ties into the story from earlier tonight, making this a rather logical match. Maybe not the most satisfying as I wanted to see more of the match, but it did make sense.

Post match Rey takes Finlay down and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The British shows can be a bit off and that was the case again here. Nothing major seemed to happen here as it’s more about pushing fans to vote for certain choices at Cyber Sunday. It leaves some of these shows being a bit less than enthralling, but hopefully they can push things a bit harder next week.

 

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: October 12, 2007
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with No Mercy and Batista is still the World Champion, having vanquished Great Khali in the Punjabi Prison. That leaves a vacancy in the #1 contenders slow and there is a good chance we’ll get it covered this week, as Cyber Sunday is coming up. I’m just not sure who it is going to be. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Punjabi Prison match, with Batista retaining the World Title over Great Khali.

Opening sequence.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo has Michelle McCool with him and this is fallout from Masters attacking Palumbo last week. Masters gets driven into the corner to start and some forearms to the back set up a big clothesline. A suplex drops Masters again as this is one sided so far. Masters avoids an elbow though and hits his own suplex for two. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Palumbo is back up, only to get slammed right back down for two more. The Masterlock attempt doesn’t work and Palumbo hammers away. Masters misses a clothesline and gets rolled up for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I know they’re trying with Palumbo but he’s not exactly stealing the show and a feud with Masters isn’t going to do much better. You’re only going to get so far with such a low level opponent as it makes Palumbo feel like someone who doesn’t matter that much. Palumbo is ok enough, but this feels like such low stakes and it isn’t working.

Post match Palumbo gets back on his motorcycle but Masters jumps him and puts on the Masterlock. Great. A rematch.

The Brothers of Destruction are back tonight.

Video on Big Daddy V.

Jesse And Festus vs. Jay Adams/Conrad Carnes

Jesse explains the idea behind Festus again before locking up with Adams to start. Cole compares it to Spider-Man and Peter Parker, which doesn’t go well with JBL. Jesse takes Adams down rather easily and it’s off to Festus to knock Carnes down. Carnes tries some forearms to the back and gets knocked down with a big boot to the face. It’s back to Jesse for a sunset flip as we cut to Deuce N Domino and Cherry watching in the back. A few shots put Jesse down but get gets over to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down and a Rocket Launcher top rope shoulder gives Jesse the pin on Carnes.

Rating: C-. Festus is a good idea idea and he looks good when he gets the hot tag but Jesse is just kind of there. What matters here is that there is a new team, as the division has been all of two teams for far too long now. Just having someone fresh in there helps and maybe they can help pick things up a bit.

Deuce N Domino mock Jesse and Festus when Jamie Noble of all people comes in. He isn’t trying to cause any trouble but he heard Jimmy Wang Yang making some suggestive comments about Cherry. Noble whispers them to Deuce and it’s off to Vickie Guerrero’s office, with Noble being dragged off with them.

Brett Major vs. Drew McIntyre

There’s your historical moment. This is McIntyre’s debut and he has Dave Taylor with him, as Brian Major is here with Brett. We get an inset interview with McIntyre, who is applying for dual citizenship and would love to hear some USA chants. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start and grabs a front facelock. Brett reverses into one of his own and takes McIntyre down. An elbow into a legdrop gets two but Taylor hits Brian on the floor. That’s enough of a distraction for McIntyre to grab a rollup pin to complete a rather lackluster debut. McIntyre was just there and had nothing to make himself stand out here, making this pretty dull.

We get some rapid fire questions with the final four Diva Search girls. Next week: Search And Rescue as this stuff gets dumber week after week.

MVP and Matt hardy make sure that they’re both ready for the Brothers of Destruction tonight. They seem to be good.

Brothers of Destruction vs. MVP/Matt Hardy

Non-title. Matt’s waistlock on Kane doesn’t exactly work as Kane elbows him in the face to drop him fast. Undertaker comes in but Old School is broken up, allowing MVP to get in a clothesline from the apron. This goes as well as you would expect, with MVP and Hardy being sent outside as we take an early break.

Back with Kane coming in to beat on MVP but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing MVP to hammer away in the corner. There’s the running big boot and it’s Matt coming back in. Kane seems to like this better as Matt is driven into the other corner for the tag off to Undertaker. It’s back to MVP, who gets dropped by Old School for two before Kane adds the side slam.

The top rope clothesline gives Kane two, setting up Undertaker sending him into the steps (leaving MVP’s eyes bugging out at the pain). The apron legdrop gets two but Kane charges into a knee in the corner, allowing Matt to hit the middle rope elbow. Kane isn’t having this Twist of Fate stuff though and kicks Matt in the face. The second attempt works better for Matt but MVP tags himself in. That’s enough of a delay for Undertaker to come back in and wreck some more things. For some reason MVP decides to kick Undertaker in the face, earning Matt a right hand off the apron. The Tombstone gives Undertaker the pin on MVP.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash, as Matt and MVP seemed to be more annoying to Undertaker and Kane than anything else. That being said, while they’re the Tag Team Champions, Matt and MVP don’t get along and are hardly a dominant team in the first place. I’m not wild on the champs losing, but getting beaten up by Undertaker and Kane is hardly some stunning upset.

SAVE US!

Raw Rebound.

New interviewer Anastasia Rose talks to Rey Mysterio, who gets to face Finlay in a #1 contenders match tonight. Rey got played by Finlay at No Mercy and he didn’t like that, but he’s down to play dirty too. He and Batista are friends, but he wants the title. If he has to go through Finlay, Rey is ready to fight too.

We recap Teddy Long’s heart attack, though he is now out of intensive care.

Vickie Guerrero tells Jamie Noble that Teddy should be home by next week. Jamie brags about what he did to Jimmy Wang Yang earlier. As a result, Vickie gives him a match of his own….against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Jamie Noble

Noble looks terrified to start and gets shoved down with as much effort as you would expect. There’s the big chop and Noble gets tossed away again. The Vice Grip finishes Noble in a hurry.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Deuce

Deuce is annoyed to start and kicks him in the face before choking on the ropes. Yang comes back up with some chops though and a moonsault press gives him the face pin.

Post match Deuce N Domino beat down Yang.

Another video on the Punjabi Prison match. Batista’s leap from one cage to the other is still awesome.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

The winner gets Batista, on commentary, for the title at Cyber Sunday. Hold on though as JBL announces that the fans get to pick the guest referee for the Cyber Sunday title match. The choices are Mick Foley, Steve Austin (pause for the reaction), or JBL himself! Rey hammers Finlay into the corner to start but for some reason he turns around so Finlay can knock him down. Finlay loads up the Shillelagh shot but Rey knocks him down and we take an early break.

Back with Rey going to the apron and turning his back on Finlay AGAIN, earning himself a posting. Finlay grabs a Boston crab with Rey going to the ropes, earning himself something like a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. A headscissors takes Finlay down though and a middle rope DDT gives Rey two of his own. Things get a lot more serious and it turns into a brawl on the mat with the referee not being able to break it up. Said referee is tossed down and that’s a double DQ.

Rating: C+. This feud has been working pretty well so far and I’m curious to see how they move forward at Cyber Sunday. I can’t imagine they go with a triple threat for the title as wedging Batista into this feud doesn’t really feel right. We should be in for a violent showdown at the pay per view and that could be a good one.

That leaves us with no #1 contender….so here is Undertaker to knock both guys down. Undertaker signals he wants the title so the staredown with Batista ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event stuff was just about all that mattered on the card as the rest was mainly about people who don’t matter all that much. McIntyre debuting is little more than a footnote and MVP/Matt Hardy, one of the only interesting stories on the show, was there to make the Brothers of Destruction look good. Smackdown hasn’t been that great in recent weeks and Undertaker vs. Batista is going to need some help to make things that much better.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Houston worked very well back in 2001 and nothing has changed since then right? In addition to the Undertaker vs. Michaels showdown, we also have World Title matches of Randy Orton vs. HHH and John Cena vs. Big Show vs. Edge. It might work better in execution but this really isn’t the most inspiring show in the world. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Unified Tag Team Titles: Primo and Carlito vs. The Miz/John Morrison

This is another lumberjack match but it means something for a change. In this case we have the Smackdown Tag Team Champions Carlito and Primo and the Raw Tag Team Champions Miz and Morrison fighting to FINALLY unify the two titles into one, as they should have been years ago. Primo and Morrison get things going and John has to slide in through his legs to avoid being knocked into the lumberjacks. That’s fine with Primo as he pulls off a handstand in the corner into a headscissors to send Morrison outside.

Off to Miz vs. Carlito with the latter being sent out to the floor. Some left hands knock the lumberjacks back but Morrison pulls Carlito off the top and down onto the other set of lumberjacks. Miz grabs a chinlock followed by a HARD running knee to the face from Morrison. Carlito finally comes back with an electric chair drop and it’s hot tag to Primo.

Some dropkicks have Miz and Morrison in trouble and everything breaks down. Miz and Carlito head outside, leaving Morrison to roll through a high cross body for two of his own. Back up and Morrison loads up a reverse suplex but Primo catches him in a Backstabber on the way down for the pin and both titles at 8:21.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and made sure that it did didn’t get boring as the show was just getting started. Above all else, it’s nice to have something on the line again in one of these things. The Colons winning was a surprise and it was a good idea to give the good guys the win, even if Miz and Morrison were popular in their own right. One last thing: notice the amount of time spent on the match. That’s going to come up later.

The opening video has a bunch of people talking about their Wrestlemania moments for the big anniversary show. As usual, this turns into a discussion of their matches tonight and how they all want to steal the show.

We see the crowd for the first time. The ring looks like a drop of water in the middle.

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane

MVP is US Champion again, Henry has Tony Atlas (you might remember him from Wrestlemania II), Finlay has Hornswoggle and Shelton is still golden. Christian and Shelton go outside for ladders and it’s Henry and Kane ruling the ring. The big ladder is quickly brought in to take the giants down but Kofi dropkicks the ladder down to drop Christian and Shelton. He tweaks his knee though and it’s Kane and Henry climbing the ladder.

The normal sized people get together to take care of the giants but are quickly shoved down, leaving Kane and Henry to keep fighting. Kane’s advantage is short lived as Henry breaks it up and throws the big ladder over the top for reasons that aren’t clear. Finlay gets back in and takes out Kane and Shelton with a suicide dive, followed by Christian doing the same. MVP does the same thing, leaving Punk and Kofi to nail stereo suicide dives. Shelton isn’t going to be outdone and climbs a ladder for a BIG flip dive down onto everyone else. That certainly got the crowd going.

With nothing else left, Henry starts to climb in the corner. Finlay doesn’t want an earthquake and smacks him with the shillelagh, allowing Hornswoggle to climb his stepladder for a tadpole splash onto everyone but Finlay and Henry. It’s Finlay setting up a ladder Kofi dives through the middle to drop kick him back down. Kofi takes too long going up though and Finlay throws the stepladder at him for a save.

Henry is back in now and picks up the ladder, only to have Kofi run up one side. He can’t fight that much gravity though and falls into Henry’s arms (great hand speed there by Mark) for a World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder. MVP takes Henry down and there’s a ladder bridged between the top rope and into the standing ladder. Shelton dives into a powerbomb from MVP but Punk makes a save.

Christian breaks that up and stands on the bridged ladder for a Killswitch (new name for the Unprettier) to take Punk down (mostly botched as Christian fell first but it must be terrifying up there). To make things even worse, another ladder is set up on the floor next to the bridged ladder, giving us a three ladder structure.

Every the daredevil, Shelton runs up the ladders to catch MVP with a sunset bomb but botches it even worse (understandable this time I would think) by not pulling MVP down and sending him face first into every rung of the ladder. The fans make sure to rip on him for it because their expectations are ridiculous. Shelton gets their attention back by powerbombing MVP over the top and down onto Henry and Atlas. Benjamin isn’t done yet as he knocks Finlay off a ladder and onto the bridged one.

The bridged ladder is set up next to the already standing one and it’s a double climb by Christian and Shelton. Christian knocks him off and climbs back up, only to have Punk springboard onto the other ladder. Punk gets knocked backwards and hangs on by a foot, leaving Kane to come in and pull Christian down. Punk pulls himself up though and kicks Kane down, leaving Punk to win for the second year in a row at 14:24.

Rating: B. This year tried to build up some more high spots but they got a bit too big and dangerous with some of them and couldn’t quite pull them off. Kane and Henry were interesting additions but Henry never got close to the briefcase and both were more roadblocks than anything else. Punk winning again is a cool idea and the fans were surprised when he pulled it off. Good stuff here, but a step below the others and a lot of that is due to how many people were in the match.

Video on Axxess and Wrestlemania week in Houston.

Here’s one of the reasons this show isn’t remembered very fondly: a TEN MINUTE KID ROCK MEDLEY. There’s no story, there’s no music video, there’s nothing but Kid Rock and his band performing for over ten minutes. After about nine, the 25 Divas in a battle royal come out, many of which are here for the first time in years but none of them are introduced because Kid Rock is still playing. This goes on longer than the pre-show Tag Team Title match. He FINALLY wraps up at about ten and a half minutes.

Divas Battle Royal

Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Jackie Gayda, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria Kanellis, Maryse, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Santina Marella, Sunny, Terri Runnels, Tiffany, Torrie Wilson, Victoria

Maryse is Divas Champion (a new title created last previous year) and Melina is Women’s Champion. You can be eliminated through the ropes as well as over the top. They’re already fighting during the introductions and Mae Young is shown as guest timekeeper (not introduced of anything). Layla and Joy are eliminated in the first twenty seconds with no acknowledgment. Rosa Mendes is out as well and warrants some attention. Alicia Fox goes out with no mention as well.

Cole mentions that you could see who is in the match in a special photo shoot on WWE.com. That’s the extent of the entrance list you’re going to get here. I had to find a list online because the camera was on Kid Rock during most of the entrances. Lawler is stunned to hear that Sunny is in here. Sunny is tossed and there goes Torrie Wilson (takes about fifteen seconds for the announcers to figure out who it was). Gayda is eliminated and Maria is forearmed out by Victoria. Lawler: “Hey Victoria is back!” Gail and Jillian go out together, followed by Eve and Tiffany at the same time.

Beth eliminates Kelly, Molly, Maryse and Katie in about twenty seconds. The Bellas put Victoria out so Beth puts both of them out back to back. We’re down to Beth, Mickie, Michelle, Melina…..and Santina, which is Santino in drag because he thought it was unfair to have an all Divas battle royal. Mickie and Michelle fall off the top to eliminate each other in the most entertaining part of the match so far. Melina dives on Beth in an awkward looking landing but Santina eliminates both of them to win at 5:58.

Rating: F-. WOW. So the entrances were cut off for Kid Rock, the announcers had no idea who was in this, and the ending is the start of a stupid angle that eventually saw Vickie Guerrero win the crown from Santina. This was on the level of some indy company in a high school gym and it aired at Wrestlemania. Totally unacceptable and one of the biggest screwups I’ve ever seen.

Santina introduces herself and the fans chant for Santino. Candice Michelle gives him a sash and crown as Beth is livid. Santina dances to make it even worse.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. the legends. Mickey Rourke’s movie The Wrestler came out earlier in the year, telling the story of an old wrestler trying to hang on. Jericho hated this idea and called out names such as Ricky Steamboat, Jimmy Snuka and Roddy Piper, eventually challenging them to a match at Wrestlemania. With Ric Flair in their corner, the three agreed. Jericho beat up Flair to prove his point.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat/Jimmy Snuka/Roddy Piper

This was originally a gauntlet match but has been changed into an elimination match instead. Mickey Rourke is at ringside. At this point, Steamboat is 56 and last wrestled in 1994, Snuka is 65 and Piper is 12 days away from turning 55 (though considering he was diagnosed with Lymphoma just two years before this, he looks great). Flair comes out with them and oh sweet goodness he is WASTED.

Piper starts and JR says it’s going to be bowling shoe ugly right out of the gate. They go outside with Piper sending him into the announcers’ table before trying a dropkick and kind of grazing Jericho’s shoulder with one foot. Snuka comes in with a headbutt and some shots to the ribs. It’s off to Steamboat for by far the biggest reaction of the match. He looks like he’s about 40 here and comes in off the top with a chop to the head. The armdrags have Jericho in trouble and we get a STEAMBOAT chant.

Back to Snuka who misses his half of a double chop and gets caught in a quick Walls of Jericho for the submission. Piper and Steamboat have to break the hold and it’s Piper kicking Chris in the ribs. Jericho reverses a quick sleeper and nails a running enziguri to get us down to one on one. Steamboat comes in with a high cross body for two and a HUGE reaction before it’s time to chop it out. We hit the chinlock (Jericho: “ASK HIM!”) for a bit before Jericho throws him over the top for to skin the cat (which the camera missed on the original broadcast as it was on Jericho punching Flair).

Steamboat sends him to the floor and hits a plancha as the fans are totally behind the Dragon. A top rope chop has Jericho in trouble and Ricky jumps off the bottom rope for a leapfrog into a rollup for two. Jericho scores with the bulldog but misses the Lionsault. A powerslam gets two for Steamboat but he gets caught in the Walls. We’re not done yet though as he slips out and grabs a small package for two (and a massive sigh of exasperation on the kickout). The Codebreaker puts Steamboat out at 8:57.

Rating: B. Of course that’s on an adjusted scale. This match had absolutely no reason to go anywhere and Steamboat put on the best performance someone his age and that far removed from wrestling could dream of to make it work. The crowd was with him the entire way and it’s a moment that worked so perfectly. Obviously you don’t want Jericho going down here but they took what could have been an embarrassment and turned it into one of the most entertaining things all night. If you need more proof of Steamboat’s natural talent, check this out and then the singles match he and Jericho had at Backlash. Just remarkable.

Flair charges the ring because he has to get some screen time and eats a Codebreaker. Jericho gets on the mic and brags about his victory before calling out Mickey Rourke for a fight. Rourke gets in and knocks him out (Rourke was an undefeated professional boxer so this wasn’t totally insane, even if he hadn’t boxed in 36 years. The punch missed so badly that it was laughable though.) before celebrating with Flair.

We recap the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. Jeff won the Smackdown World Title at Armageddon 2008 and was defending at Royal Rumble 2009 but Matt turned on his brother. It was then revealed that Matt was behind an attack on Jeff in a stairwell back in November, trying to run Jeff and his girlfriend off the road, burning him with fireworks and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN AND KILLING HIS DOG. Now in the real world, the attempted murder and arson would probably result in Matt going to jail (especially with a confession on film), but why do that when you can have an extreme rules match?

Side note: allegedly it was going to be the returning Christian as the attacker instead of Matt but they went with this instead. I’m thinking this wasn’t the best idea.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Extreme rules. Jeff takes him down to start and hammers away before taking it to the floor for a framed Wrestlemania poster to the face. Poetry in Motion against the barricade has Matt in even more trouble. Back in and a Poetry in Motion misses in the corner, allowing Matt time to knock Jeff out of the air with a chair to the knee. Well at least someone is trying to be violent here.

A shop vac to the head gets two on Jeff as the announcers talking about Matt not taking a phone call from his dad for four days. Again, MATT BURNED JEFF’S HOUSE DOWN AND KILLED HIS DOG! WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT A PHONE CALL??? Matt bends Jeff’s back around the post before loading up a table at ringside. Jeff comes back with a running clothesline off the apron before pulling out a crutch and kendo stick for alternating shots to the back.

Now it’s time for a garbage can around Jeff’s head for a slingshot dropkick. The swanton misses but Jeff pops back up for a superplex. A chair shot puts Matt on the floor so Jeff puts him on one table, puts a chair on top of Matt, then puts another table on top of the first table, setting up a huge splash off the top.

That’s only good for two back inside and it’s time for the ladder because there had to be one of them here. Make that two ladders, with one regular sized one and one huge one. Jeff climbs the small one and jumps over the bigger one, only to miss a legdrop. Matt puts a chair around Jeff’s neck and hits a Twist of Fate for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: D+. What was that? Like, what were they going for here? Matt played his role well enough with a big spot at the end to hurt Jeff and get his moment. That’s all well and good, but what in the world was Jeff doing? Again: attempted murder, arson, burning him with fireworks and more but he’s setting up ladders for a big legdrop? This would have been good in a regular blowoff match for say, the Intercontinental Title, but it did not match the story they were going for in the slightest. Matt got the idea but Jeff was just way off.

Randy Orton stares off into the distance.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

JBL is defending and brags about returning to Texas as a conquering hero and the only champion this state has. He talks about Texas needing hope, which is where he can come in as their hero before he goes back to New York on his private plane. Mysterio is the Joker from The Dark Knight this year for a very bizarre look that seems to go over JR’s head. We actually get some big match intros and JBL kicks him in the face before the bell. Rey says start it and there’s an enziguri, a dropkick, the 619 and a springboard splash for the pin and the title at 21 seconds.

JBL is stunned and can’t speak. He finally gets it together and says he quits, which actually was his retirement. As Bradshaw said, this was the perfect way for the JBL character to go out: beaten, humiliated and leaving in a huff.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. the Undertaker. Shawn was free from JBL (after a long story where Shawn was broke and had to work for him) and decided he wanted the biggest challenge there was: the Streak. While he did respect Undertaker, he certainly didn’t fear him. The theme of the feud was light vs. darkness, featuring Shawn wearing all white and quoting from the Bible about God separating the light from the darkness. Undertaker said all of his usual stuff about the darkness and taking Shawn down with him, but you knew this was going to be special.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn’s entrance: all in white, descending down from the ceiling with a Heavenly chorus singing. Undertaker’s entrance: rising up through the floor all in black and bringing fire up from the stage. Well those work. Shawn speeds around to start and scores with some chops. Forearms in the corner just get on Undertaker’s nerves and he easily blocks a right hand before throwing Shawn over the top rope, only to have Shawn fake a knee injury to take Undertaker down with right hands. A huge backdrop sends Shawn flying as they’re still in first gear. Old School connects but Shawn avoids a running boot in the corner.

Shawn slaps on the reverse Figure Four until Undertaker powers out, only to take a dropkick to the knee. Undertaker shakes it off and comes back with right hands, followed by Snake Eyes and the big boot for two. Things start to speed up so Shawn grabs a Crossface of all things until Undertaker powers up into a side slam for two. It’s time to chop it out until Shawn scores with the forearm into the nipup.

Shawn goes up top but dives into a chokeslam, only to counter with a kick to the leg. The reverse Figure Four is countered into Hell’s Gate but Shawn is in the ropes fast enough for the save. Very good sequence there. Undertaker takes him down again but misses the apron legdrop, setting up a baseball slide from Shawn.

With Undertaker down on the floor, Shawn tries for the moonsault but Undertaker swats him away, sending Shawn down to the mat with a sick thud. The referee checks on Shawn but he says don’t stop it. As he’s down, Undertaker does the situp and tries the Taker Dive, only to leave it short and basically leave Undertaker to do a swanton out to the floor. Shawn tried to pull a cameraman into the way but he didn’t get far enough, meaning Undertaker only kind of landed on him.

Shawn drags the referee back in and demands a countout. The fans are REALLY not cool with that but Undertaker beats the count at nine and a half. Shawn’s eyes change but the chokeslam is countered with a HUGE chokeslam for two. Undertaker blocks a superkick and tries another chokeslam, only to have Shawn slap the hand away and score with a great looking Sweet Chin Music for two. Shawn nips up again so Undertaker grabs him by the throat and tries the Last Ride, counters Shawn’s counter and PLANTS HIM with the Last Ride. The fans are starting to lose their minds on these kickouts.

Undertaker goes up top (!) for the Shawn Michaels elbow (complete with the arm gesture) and only hits mat. Shawn gets sent over the top but skins the cat, only to get caught in the Tombstone for the closest two of the match. Undertaker’s look of shock as he lays on Shawn’s side makes it that much better. There go Undertaker’s straps and he tries another Tombstone, only to get countered into a tornado DDT (with Undertaker’s head hitting Shawn’s ribs but close enough).

Shawn’s top rope elbow connects for no cover before hitting Sweet Chin Music for one of the most dramatic near falls I’ve ever seen. That’s the first time I ever believed the Streak was over. It’s time for another slugout with each shot knocking both guys halfway off their feet because they’re so spent. Another Tombstone is countered and Undertaker charges into a boot to the jaw. Shawn goes up for another moonsault but gets caught in the Tombstone to FINALLY end this at 30:43.

Rating: A+. This is a match that people raved about live but then began to sour on in later years. Simply put, I’d call those people crazy. This was a WAR with both guys beating the tar out of each other and taking each other to a place that neither had ever been taken to. That sequence where they used each other to get to their feet and slugged it out near the end was everything you needed to see as they were so broken down and destroyed that they could only do the most basic moves.

The story, the build, the execution and the selling during the match made this work so perfectly. It came off like two warriors who gave everything they had for one last shot but only one of them could pull it off. On top of that you had some of the best near falls of all time with the fans eating up every single bit of it as fast as they could have. Outstanding match here and an all time great.

We recap Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena, which gets to follow that. Edge won the Raw World Title in the Elimination Chamber after losing the Smackdown World Title in the other Elimination Chamber earlier in the night (my go to example of how stupid having two World Titles really was). This was going to set up Edge defending the title against Big Show (who had been having an affair with Vickie Guerrero (now Edge’s wife and GM of both shows) to get into the title match) at Wrestlemania but John Cena, the former champion, wanted his rematch. The match was turned into a triple threat after Cena revealed Show and Vickie’s affair.

Vickie is wheeled to ringside.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Edge is defending. Cena’s entrance this year is old school as an army of John Cena look-a-likes comes out to Basic Thuganomics before Cena comes out to My Time Is Now while the look-a-likes do You Can’t See Me. We get the big match intros and we’re ready to go. Cena starts fast with a bulldog to Edge and a shoulder to Big Show. Only one of these is successful and I’ll let you figure out which is which.

Show crotches Edge on the top rope and superkicks Cena to break up an AA (Attitude Adjustment instead of FU now) attempt on the champ. The big man misses a running boot though and Edge dropkicks the steps into his knees. Cena adds a dangerous top rope Fameasser to the floor to take Show down again, leaving us with Cena vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets crotched on the top as Vickie is freaking out on the floor.

Show comes back in with a side slam to John, followed by Vickie’s nephew (and wheelchair pusher) Chavo pulling Cena to the floor. That earns him an AA before Cena goes back inside and ties Show in the ropes. Cena initiates his finishing sequence on Edge but Vickie gets out of her chair for a distraction, only to take a spear from Edge. JR: “Edge accidentally speared his wife. AGAIN!” While this is going on, Show gets annoyed at his ropes predicament. Show: “HEY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

Cena and Edge knock each other down and Show gets free, meaning it’s time for pain. Show crushes both of them in the corner but can only chokeslam Edge. Cena is the lucky one and only takes the KO Punch, which JR calls malignant. For no apparent reasons, Show goes after Edge on the floor, allowing the champion to get up and tackle Show through the barricade and into the crowd for a big crash.

Edge is up first and tries a spear on Cena, only to get caught in the STF to furious booing. Show makes the save by grabbing Cena by the throat and throwing him to the floor. A Vader Bomb to Edge only hits the mat though and now it’s Edge and Cena working together for probably the only time ever to that point. Show gets suplexed and then clotheslined out to the floor, only to have Edge kick Cena in the face for two.

The Throwback (not a Blockbuster JR) puts Edge down but Show shoves Cena off the top and into a spear. Back up and Edge tries a sleeper on Show…..until Cena PUTS THEM BOTH ON HIS SHOULDERS AT THE SAME TIME, which gets nowhere near the reaction that it should. Cena just put at minimum 700lbs on his shoulders and the fans reacted to Santina dancing better than this. Edge gets flipped first before Cena AA’s Show, followed by another one to Edge onto Show, giving Cena the pin and the title at 14:44.

Rating: B-. Considering what they had to follow and how spent the crowd was (there’s still no excuse for no selling that double AA), this couldn’t have gotten much better. The stupid love triangle didn’t help anyone because people were burned out on Vickie by this point. She was a great heel but it was pure overkill. Cena getting the title back makes sense, even if he wound up being a transitional champion before it became part of a great feud between CM Punk and Jeff Hardy. Good match here but it wasn’t as good as it could have been, at least partially due to the story.

Hall of Fame time with Steve Austin as the headliner, giving us a rare glimpse of him in a suit.

The Class of 2009 is brought out with everyone standing on their own star. We have Terry and Dory Jr. Funk, Bill Watts, Howard Finkel (imagine the stories he could tell), Koko B. Ware (the low point of the Hall of Fame), the Von Erich Family (represented by Kevin because he’s the only one left alive), Ricky Steamboat and Steve Austin. After the introductions, Austin slips away and rides back to the ring on his ATV (now in a t-shirt instead of suit) for a beer bash, including sharing one with JR. That makes this feel right.

Wrestlemania XXVI is in Phoenix.

Attendance announcement, which isn’t listed as a record.

We recap Randy Orton vs. HHH. Orton won the Royal Rumble to earn his shot at HHH, who won the title in the first Elimination Chamber. They’re treating this like a culmination of their feud that started back in 2004 so Orton attacked HHH’s family (including laying out Stephanie and kissing her while she was unconscious), which he blamed on some mental disorder (which of course he later admitted that he made up). HHH then invaded Orton’s house and threw him through a window.

So this whole feud is built on violence and HHH wanting to get his ultimate revenge. Therefore, the stipulation was that HHH could lose the title via DQ or countout. Yeah instead of a street fight or some match where you can have a ton of violence, the rules made sure that they had to tone the violence down as much as they had. Remember how screwy Jeff Hardy was in his match when he wouldn’t be violent and it didn’t make sense? Well here they’re doing the same to HHH on purpose.

HHH runs into Vince and Shane on the way to the ring. Nothing is said.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and throws his sledgehammer through a mirror for his entrance. Well it’s better than a screwed up Motorhead performance. We get a really cool visual of Orton looking up from the floor as HHH does his signature pose in the corner. In a normal situation, HHH would be on him before the big match intros can even start but he stands his ground instead. Thankfully he doesn’t start posing again.

HHH hammers away to start and the referee almost disqualifies him for not breaking. The RKO hits the distracted champion less than two minutes in but instead of covering, Orton loads up the Punt. HHH moves away and scores with a Pedigree maybe two and a half minutes in and both guys are already down. Out to the floor so HHH can steal someone’s water to revive himself and post Orton.

Back in and Randy’s begging off doesn’t work and HHH starts driving knees into the back of Orton’s head. They head outside again with HHH being sent into the steps as this continues to be more like some weird performance art instead of a match. It’s almost like they’re trying to do a street fight without weapons because SOMEONE SCREWED THE MATCH UP WITH A STUPID RULE!

The champ gets thrown over the barricade but is still able to beat the count. At least Orton is getting smart and trying to win by countout. If only he had hit his finisher out of nowhere earlier and had the chance for a pin. Now it’s Orton dropping knees of his own until HHH grabs a belly to back suplex. Orton comes back with a powerslam and chinlock to slow things down even more.

HHH fights up (because it’s a chinlock about than ten minutes in) and scores with the high knee, only to have the Pedigree countered into a catapult into the buckle. Another Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two before HHH grabs a rollup for his own near fall. FEEL THE HATRED! The spinebuster is a bit more like it but Orton countered ANOTHER Pedigree attempt (come on dude you know more moves than that) into the backbreaker for two. Back up and HHH heads to the top so Orton can dropkick him out of the air.

Another Punt is blocked and HHH shoves him out to the floor. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table as the referee reminds him of the DQ rule. You know, because EVERY main event has a DQ when someone uses weapons. HHH doesn’t hit him in the head with a monitor but instead tries a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop onto the table. So where’s Orton’s threat of DQ? The elevated DDT on the floor knocks HHH silly but he gets back in at nine again.

Back in again and Orton stomps away in the corner, making Lawler ask why the referee isn’t threatening a DQ. See, Lawler gets it. Orton whips HHH into the referee before hitting the RKO but let’s bring in a sledgehammer. You knew that was coming at some point because these two love symbolism. Orton takes his time getting back in though and HHH Punts him (JR said it was THUNDEROUS so you know he’s serious). The sledgehammer hits Orton in the jaw and HHH hits some big right hands, followed by another Pedigree to retain at 23:35.

Rating: D. Oh wow did they miss here. As I said roughly 19 times, this should have been a violent street fight instead of trying to have a match where the rules didn’t make a ton of sense in the first place. They spent most of the match building up the Pedigree…..which HHH already hit about a minute in to make that story even more head scratching.

This felt like HHH and Orton trying to go out and have some big epic moment, which is the main reason this failed. Well aside from the rules not fitting the story. It felt like they were forcing this to be something it wasn’t. On top of that it doesn’t help that Orton and HHH really don’t have the main event chemistry that you would expect them to have. You would think they would have learned that after their four pay per view matches in 2008 and before the three more they had after this in 2009. Bad match and a HORRIBLE main event.

HHH stands over him as the great conqueror.

The highlight package returns after a one year hiatus.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a really hard one to pin down as it’s trying to balance the really good vs. the really bad. The extreme rules match, the battle royal, the Kid Rock stuff and the main event are a bit heavier than Money in the Bank, the triple threat, Steamboat and Undertaker vs. Shawn. The problem is, aside from Shawn vs. Undertaker, the good stuff is only pretty good but the bad is REALLY bad.

Now that being said, this show is much better than what a lot of people remember it as. That main event is indeed horrible, but Shawn vs. Undertaker balances it out with room to spare. Unfortunately, people remember Orton vs. HHH and the Kid Rock performance more than they remember the other good stuff on the show.

The best thing this show could have done is swap the main events. I know you want to end on a title match, but they had to know that Shawn vs. Undertaker was going to be impossible to top. The story was much stronger there anyway and if that’s how you end it, the memories of this show are so much more positive. There are way worse Wrestlemanias out there, but few that are more disappointing than this one through a lot of weird decisions.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: F-

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

I might have been trying to make up for lost ratings.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxv-the-difference-between-live-and-later/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

So this was going to be Wrestlemania XXX but then I remembered I did that show last year so I picked one I remember being a lot of fun. It’s from one of the forgotten periods of the company’s history as things were mostly good, but this era really runs together for me. This show is well received and kind of a hidden gem though so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Jim Duggan, Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang, Val Venis, Cody Rhodes, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Festus, Stevie Richards, Jamie Noble, Tommy Dreamer, Kofi Kingston, Brian Kendrick, Kane, Great Khali, Miz, Mark Henry, Deuce, Domino, Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky

This show is so old it pre-dates Kickoff Shows. This is your usual get everyone on the card match, which would go completely off the rails years later. There is actually a prize as the winner gets an ECW Title shot later tonight. The brawl is on to start (as it should be) with Festus (Luke Gallows) throwing out Deuce N Domino without much trouble. Khali gets rid of Duggan (to a lot of booing) and Burke knocks out Richards.

Burke makes the eternal mistake of celebrating too much though and gets shoved out by Kane. You would think people would learn at some point. It’s Miz out next and the announcers talk about how cool it would be for young Kofi Kingston to get a title shot at Wrestlemania. Henry eliminates Moore and Yang and it’s Jesse following them out.

Festus is put out, meaning I don’t have to get him confused with Snitsky anymore. Kofi gets rid of Cade and Kendrick as the ring is clearing out a lot. Henry tosses Kofi onto the pile and Palumbo (He made it to 2008?) kicks Noble out. Actually Noble hangs on so Palumbo throws him out again, though this time Noble climbs onto the pile and stays on. I’m sure Kofi Kingston was watching that one.

Not that it matters as Khali gets rid of Noble and Palumbo but everyone gangs up to get rid of Khali. Snitsky gets rid of Holly and we’re down to Kane, Snitsky and Henry, meaning there were quite a few eliminations off camera. Henry eliminates Snitsky and we’re down to two. Kane has to escape a gorilla press and a big boot gets rid of Henry to give Kane the win.

Rating: D. They got in, they did their thing, they had the right winner and they got out in less than seven minutes. It’s not a good match or anything more than what it was supposed to be and that’s fine. Believe it or not you don’t need three matches before the show starts to warm the fans up. Something like this is a perfect choice and it worked just fine.

We get the big airplane flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet in person.

John Legend sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features wrestlers talking about how big Wrestlemania is and how much they want to steal the show. Remember when wrestling was about how you didn’t like someone or wanted the title and not to just get on a show or steal said show? It shifts into a talk about everything that can happen in a year, including title changes, injuries, or your boss saying your career was over the next time you lost. Tonight, everyone is going to steal the show.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

This is a Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight. It’s also part of a VERY long and complicated story as Vince McMahon was told that Hornswoggle was his son, which didn’t sit well with Finlay. JBL beat Hornswoggle up one night until it was eventually revealed that Finlay was really Hornswoggle’s dad. This is Finlay’s chance for revenge. Hornswoggle is here with Finlay because….well why wouldn’t he be?

Some forearms knock Finlay off the apron to start but he whips JBL into the steps and takes it inside for the opening bell. Finlay throws in the standard assortment of weapons, with JBL getting in a trashcan to the head. The alternating trashcan lid/cookie sheet shots to the head keep Finlay in trouble and it’s time for some steps. The piledriver onto said steps is blocked and this time it’s JBL taking the metal sheet shots. Hornswoggle comes in for a kendo stick shot, allowing Finlay to grab the club for a few swings to the jaw.

Since Finlay would rather have revenge (makes sense), he puts a trashcan on JBL’s face and grabs a table. You know, because we need tables. JBL gets back up so it’s a hard clothesline to knock him right back down. Since Finlay isn’t working so well for him, JBL goes outside and slaps Hornswoggle around, earning himself a beating from Finlay.

For some reason Finlay tries a suicide dive, which is knocked out of the air with a trashcan lid shot. JBL PELTS a trashcan at Hornswoggle but the Clothesline is broken up with another can. There’s the Regal Roll and JBL gets thrown through the table in the corner for two. Finlay takes a little too long picking up the steps though and gets them sent into his head. The Clothesline From JBL is good for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly watchable brawl and that’s all it needed to be. There was no need to put this on later in the night either as JBL winning was a bit deflating and you don’t want to kill the crowd off later in the show. Get it out of the way and let the fans have a fun garbage match. Smart opener and a good little warmup.

We go to host Kim Kardashian (just go with it) for an explanation about Money in the Bank. Mr. Kennedy comes in and gets in her face, which I’m sure is completely beneath her stellar career.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP

Money in the Bank with Kennedy technically defending, though that’s not really a thing in a match like this. Morrison is a Smackdown Tag Team Champion (with Miz), Shelton is in his awful Gold Rush period, MVP is US Champion and Jericho is Intercontinental Champion because of course he is.

Everyone but MVP goes to the floor for an early ladder with MVP being smart enough for one to be thrown in and then kick Morrison off the apron. MVP picks up the ladder and starts using it as a weapon but Jericho brings in his own and knocks MVP’s away. Morrison throws a smaller ladder at Jericho’s before taking it up top for a moonsault with the ladder to the floor. It’s rather early for something that insane but it looked great. Everyone but Jericho is down on the floor until Kennedy runs back in and sets a ladder up.

That’s broken up by Jericho, who for some reason catapults Kennedy onto the ladder so Morrison has to ride a ladder out of the corner to get up top for a save. Benjamin is back in with his own ladder and it’s a superplex from Kennedy to Morrison with Benjamin adding a sunset bomb for your second crazy spot of the match. Carlito shoves Shelton’s ladder over….so Shelton lands on the top rope and jumps right back, though the ladder breaks. Punk goes up with Kennedy making another save so Punk gives Shelton a GTS.

Carlito cleans house next and crushes MVP’s leg in a ladder. That earns Carlito a Dragon Whip so Shelton can climb but Carlito and Kennedy turn the ladder over, sending Shelton down through a ladder bridged between the apron and the ring. The stunned looks on Carlito and Kennedy’s faces make up for the clearly wooden ladder being broken. MVP shoves Kennedy, Carlito and Jericho down and it’s Morrison going up, with Jericho being right there for the Walls on top of the ladder (that always looks cool).

Jericho has to let go to stop Kennedy though, allowing Punk and Carlito to springboard in from either side. Punk and Kennedy go down so Carlito hits the Backstabber off the ladder to bring Jericho down. JR: “A WRESTLEMANIA BACKSTABBER!” MVP is all alone so he goes up, only to have Matt Hardy run in as a surprise for a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Jericho gets back up and knocks Morrison into the corner where he interlocks two ladders upside down into a V shape.

Carlito gets sent into one side, meaning a ladder is instantly stood up. Morrison climbs up but gets it shoved back down, crotching Morrison on the top with Punk taking a ladder to the head. Jericho climbs up and gets Carlito’s apple spit in his face. Kennedy shoves Carlito into a ladder in the corner with Punk making another save. There’s a Codebreaker with a ladder to Punk, who is up fast enough to shove Jericho off the ladder and pull down the briefcase for the win at 13:54.

Rating: A-. They didn’t go with drama here and instead went with the wild series of spots, one after another. One very smart thing they did here was to get rid of someone so they only had six. That seems to be the magic number for these things and it worked well here. Punk winning the briefcase was the smart move as he’s hot at the moment and someone who could use this as a springboard to the main event scene. Heck of a match and the spectacle that belongs on Wrestlemania.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony. This is way better than having everyone come out and get a big presentation. If nothing else for the sake of time.

Here’s Howard Finkel to introduce the Hall of Fame class:

Jack and Gerry Brisco (Jack should have been in years ago)

Gordon Solie (perfect choice in Florida)

Rocky Johnson

Peter Maivia

Eddie Graham (represented by Mike Graham, who probably invented Wrestlemania)

Mae Young (who has to be kept from stripping)

Ric Flair (Charlotte has short hair here and it’s REALLY weird to see her like that)

And yes, there were just seven inductees and no one lame. It’s like this can be well done without any jokes.

Snoop Dogg, the emcee of the Playboy match tonight, is a big Festus fan. Santino Marella comes in to interrupt and doesn’t like the idea of the Playboy match. Snoop rings a bell and sends Festus running after Santino. Mick Foley shows up and apparently is cool with Snoop.

Batista vs. Umaga

Smackdown vs. Raw with Teddy Long and William Regal (show bosses) at ringside. No story here other than a battle of brand supremacy and a few brawls. Some right hands to the head have little effect on Umaga so Batista shoulders him out to the floor for some more success. Back in and Umaga goes kind of aerial with a spinwheel kick and Batista is knocked outside this time. Some hard whips into the corner have Batista in trouble and an uppercut makes things worse.

The nerve hold goes on as the fans certainly seem to approve of Umaga. The middle rope headbutt misses but Batista’s back gives out on a slam attempt. We’re right back to the nerve hold before a Samoan drop gets two. Batista fights back with right hands and is loudly booed. He’s fine enough to block the Samoan Spike and Umaga’s charge goes into the post. The spinebuster sets up a Batista Bomb (with Batista falling down) for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: D. Well that certainly clears up which show is better. This was a lame power match that didn’t get much time, which might be the best solution in this case. Batista was in need of a freshening up at this point and Umaga was just the resident monster. It’s this year’s version of “get them on the show somehow” and they didn’t exactly click.

Tale of the Tape for Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

ECW GM Armando Alejandro Estrada handles the introductions. Kane won a battle royal on the pre-show to earn this shot and comes in from the crowd to win here with a chokeslam in twelve seconds. Exactly what it needed to be, but please tell me Joey Styles and Tazz didn’t have to sit at ringside for everything before or after this match.

And now, Maria and Carlito with an ad about…..Wrestlemania?

Raven Symone is here because of a disabled kids’ charity.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels with Flair’s career on the line. Late last year, Vince McMahon decided that Flair would have to retire the next time he lost (partially because Vince is Vince and partially because Flair said that he would never retire). Flair went on a long winning streak but asked to face Shawn at Wrestlemania. Shawn made it clear that he didn’t want to finish Flair’s career but would do what he had to do, even if it meant putting Flair down like Old Yeller. There was little hiding the fact that this was going to be Flair’s last match, but it was his chance to go out with one more classic.

Ric’s plan for tonight: to be the man.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair has the blue robe one more time and while I’m still a fan of the black and white one, I can’t help but smile at seeing the classic look again. Shawn shoulders him down to start and it’s clear that they’re going to have all the time they want here. They trade some hammerlocks with Shawn getting the better of it on the mat. That’s broken up as well and we get the first WOO.

The chops in the corner let Flair yell about Old Yeller but Shawn slaps him in the face and asks if that’s all he has. An exchange of chops in the corner goes to Flair (as it should) but Shawn elbows him in the jaw and goes up. This time Flair slams him off the top and goes up…..for a crossbody into a near fall! You would think that would get more of a reaction but he has to fail at an early Figure Four attempt.

Shawn kicks him to the floor and tries an Asai moonsault, which only hits the announcers’ table, with his ribs landing on the edge which doesn’t break (I’ve seen that many times and it draws a very real cringe). That’s only good for a nine count and Shawn can barely move because of the ribs. A belly to back suplex gives Flair two and he manages a delayed vertical for the same. Note: Charles Robinson (Little Naitch) is referee here and for some reason he’s in a Smackdown shirt. Yeah he’s a Smackdown referee, but you can’t just throw him in a Raw shirt for the occasion?

Flair’s neckbreaker gets two more but Shawn sends him outside. That means a moonsault to the floor which takes Flair out and bangs up the ribs even more. They chop it out back inside and it’s Shawn’s forearm into the nipup as the pace picks up a bit. A slam drops Flair and Shawn’s top rope elbow connects, meaning it’s time to Tune of the Band. Shawn can’t bring himself to do it though and Flair grabs the legs and slaps on the Figure Four in the middle of the ring.

The hold is turned over and they load up the bridge into the backslide….but Flair just can’t do it anymore so they go into a rollup instead. It’s time for the chop block and NOW the Figure Four is on for real. Shawn crawls to the rope so Flair stomps away some more until the referee drags him away. That’s enough of a delay for Shawn to hit Sweet Chin Music for a very close two and the fans go nuts on the kickout.

Shawn loads it up again but stops to tell Flair to get up. That means a low blow (again, you knew he was getting that in somehow) for two more and the fans really bought the near fall. To mix things up a bit, Shawn sweeps the legs and tries a reverse Figure Four (thank goodness it wasn’t a Sharpshooter) to send Flair bailing to the ropes this time.

A rollup with tights gets two and they chop it out from their knees. The chops bring them to their feet and Shawn hits another superkick to put Flair down. There’s no cover though as Shawn goes into the corner and Flair slowly gets up. Shawn says the now legendary I’m Sorry, I Love You and superkicks Flair one more time, this time for the pin at 20:34.

Rating: B+. I don’t remember truly liking this one before and that’s because there are different ways to look at it. It’s hard not to look at a match like this through the emotional lens but if you take that away (which you kind of have to given that Flair wound up wrestling again), it’s actually a heck of a match with all of the old Flair tropes thrown in. Those worked for so long because it’s a great formula that can work against anyone. When you add in Shawn’s second to none abilities, there was no way this wouldn’t be outstanding.

The problem though is that Flair just can’t do a lot of this stuff anymore. He’s trying as hard as he can and what he could still do was good, but seeing him not be able to bridge up anymore was rather sad because it’s something he’s done for so many years before. I don’t remember liking this match that much but it really is a strong one, even ignoring all the other things added to it.

Post match Shawn leaves the ring and a crying Flair gets to his feet for one of the best standing ovations you’ll ever see. This is more than deserved and while he should have retired a long time ago (you could argue all the way back in the 90s), he was far from embarrassing himself and someone as influential, successful and downright talented as he was should absolutely get this kind of a sendoff. And for those who are wondering why, this was originally going to close the show but Flair refused and insisted it go in the middle.

Smackdown World Champion Edge talks about sitting in the crowd at Wrestlemania VI as the biggest Hulkamaniac in Canada. Then Hulk Hogan lost, and Edge lost his innocence with it. Undertaker has been the conscience of WWE for years but tonight Edge is bringing a cold hard dose of reality to the fans. There’s probably a kid in the audience who believes that anything can happen, even 16-0. Tonight, Edge is taking that kid’s innocence and walking out as the new Phenom and still World Heavyweight Champion.

Pyro signals the start of the second half of the show.

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley Massaro

This is the Playboy match with the rest of the women’s division as lumberjacks. Snoop Dogg is the master of ceremonies and of course he comes to the ring in a leopard print Mercedes golf cart. Snoop handles the introductions, but first throws in a couple of WOO’s in Flair’s honor. Santino is here with Beth and Melina as he doesn’t like Maria posing.

Ashley hurricanranas Beth to start and the fans are rather quiet. Some double teaming has Beth in more trouble but it’s off to Melina, who gets kneed by Maria. A lot of spinning around and screaming sets up a Bronco Buster (without the running start) to Melina. Ashley hits a middle rope X Factor but gets sent outside for a beating from the lumberjacks. We settle down to a bearhug from Beth before she puts Melina in an electric chair and flips her backwards into a moonsault.

Ashley kicks out at two and Maria dives in for the save a full second later, making things look even worse. And then the lights go out because everyone is sick of this match. A spotlight lets us see Maria kicking Beth in the head and reversing the Glam Slam into a bulldog for two. Everything breaks down and Maria dives onto Beth for two with Santino making the save. That brings Lawler to his feet to knock Santino down, leaving Beth to hit a fisherman’s buster to pin Maria at 5:59.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting here? The wrestling was terrible and the villains had to tone it WAY down for this not to be a disaster. The fans didn’t care and they couldn’t even see parts of the match, though I don’t think they particularly cared. It just wasn’t good but it served its purposes of eye candy and a breather from the emotional moment.

Post match Santino poses with Melina and Beth but gets laid out by Snoop.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Randy Orton is champion, HHH is feuding with him for the title, and John Cena, who never lost the title, won the Royal Rumble in a shocking return after being stripped of the title due to injury.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is defending. Cena’s big introduction this year is via a high school marching band, which is a pretty cool idea. After Cena’s entrance, we get a poll on who will win with Cena getting 52% and Orton finishing dead last at 8%. HHH gets a regular entrance, though it includes one of my favorite Wrestlemania shots: the closeup and the camera swinging around to show the sheer size of the stadium with all the people. Orton belts HHH in the face to start so Cena bulldogs the champ and grabs a release fisherman’s suplex.

HHH is right back in with a sleeper to Orton, allowing Cena to try a double FU, though it’s way too early and they both slip off. Orton takes both of them down and alternates with the stomping a they’re certainly starting fast. A jumping knee to each gets two each for the sake of symmetry as the fans are actually into this, meaning they are in fact alive after the women’s match. Cena is up and puts Orton on top but gets caught in a Doomsday crossbody…which he rolls through anyway with HHH having to break up an FU.

A pair of clotheslines leave Orton as the only one on his feet so he grabs a hanging DDT to both of them at once for another pair of twos. The RKO to Cena is countered with Orton being knocked onto HHH and it’s a top rope Fameasser to the champ. It’s too early for the STFU (yes U) though as Orton bails to the floor and posts Cena to take over again. That’s enough for HHH to start in on Orton’s leg but he has to deal with Cena, allowing Orton to nail a quick RKO.

Cena is back up with the STFU and Orton has the hand up to tap, only to have HHH guide the hand down onto the rope instead. HHH sends Cena into the steps and continues the torture of Orton continues with an Indian Deathlock. Cena makes the save and sends HHH outside this time, setting up another STFU on Orton.

Back in and HHH can’t pull Cena off of Orton so he puts Cena in a Crossface for the break instead. That’s broken up as well and it’s a big time slugout between HHH and Cena. HHH walks into the flying shoulder and the Shuffle but the STFU is kicked away. The spinebuster plants Cena and HHH cuts Orton off before hitting the Pedigree on Cena….but Orton Punts HHH and pins Cena to retain at 14:09.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two matches with HHH and Cena having a Wrestlemania match and Orton running in and out as much as he could to mess with things. Orton just does not feel like he’s on this level (which has often been the case) and it was the case again here.

You could feel the crowd deflate when he won the match, which makes sense as a heel and it does make him feel more definitive as a champion, but it came off like we were waiting on some big moment and instead got Orton. Again. These title matches and reigns completely run together over the years and this is just another (good) match in a very long series.

Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Big Show returned at No Way Out after over a year off. Mayweather was at No Way Out as well and came over the barricade to hit some crazy fast punches to a kneeling Show, one of which broke his nose. Now we’re having the freakshow match, which could be highly entertaining. However, with that out of the way, eleven years after the angle, I still have no earthly idea who I’m supposed to cheer for. Is it the wrestler? Is is the loudmouthed guy who is in way over his head from a physical standpoint? Is it the guy who was attacked and wants revenge? Is it the guy who is one of the best fighters of all time? Why is this so complicated?

Anything goes here and you can win by pinfall, submission or knockout. Money rains down for Mayweather’s entrance and he has seven people with him. Mayweather is smart enough to dodge around to start and he peppers Show with some fast shows to the ribs. A right to the jaw makes Show mad and Mayweather punches him a few more times to make it even worse. Hang on though as we need to stop so Mayweather can have a drink from…..a jewel chalice?

Show beats on the entourage as the smoke and mirrors begin. Mayweather looks on as Show chops a bodyguard and starts dancing around again. A right hand is caught and Mayweather slips away before Show can stomp on it. Show sits him on top but that just lets Mayweather get in a much better right hand, setting up the required sleeper/choke on the back. Show finally realizes that Mayweather is the size of a teenager and throws him off, setting up the stomp on the hand. Mayweather’s manager: “YOU CAN’T BE DOING THAT!”

Mayweather takes the SHH chop in the corner and the pain is intense. Apparently Show can’t do that either and a side slam (which brings the fans to their feet) probably isn’t approved either. Show legdrops the arm and stands on the stomach and it’s time for the entourage to pull Mayweather out, saying they’re done because this isn’t what they signed up for.

They head back to the ring where one of the bodyguards chairs Show in the back. Mayweather gets in a few more shots and a low blow, followed by more chair shots to the head. One of the gloves comes off and Mayweather steals some brass knuckles from the down handler for the knockout win at 11:34.

Rating: B. Yeah this is still a blast. Confusing as I have no idea who to cheer for (seriously, try to figure that out), but it’s so much fun with all the wackiness that only makes sense in wrestling. Mayweather would be a much bigger heel today (and someone that WWE couldn’t afford) but what we got here was all kinds of entertaining and one of the most fun things on the show.

Wrestlemania ad, featuring Batista.

Kim Kardashian announces the attendance and sounds miserable again.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. The video starts with a look at the Streak, which morphs into a video of Edge costing Undertaker the title multiple times, including by cashing in Money in the Bank. Edge is going to make it 15-1 and it turns into the standard “I’ll break the Streak/the Streak will live on” video. In other words, another well done package.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Undertaker is challenging and we’ve got druids with torches. Teddy Long wheels out Edge’s fiance Vickie Guerrero, who kisses him for luck in a story that felt like it would never die. Some early clotheslines put Edge on the floor and Undertaker gets in his Stunner over the top rope. The jumping clothesline (more like a shove here) gets two and it’s time for Old School, with Edge pulling him down, only to have Undertaker armdrag Edge down instead. I’ve never seen that otherwise and it’s rather out of place for Undertaker.

Edge avoids a charge though and Undertaker goes outside, with Edge knocking him into the barricade for a bonus. A swinging neckbreaker across the top rope has Undertaker in more trouble and a running shoulder in the corner makes it even worse. Edge goes up and gets knocked off the top, setting up a Taker Dive that doesn’t get as much of a reaction as you would expect.

There’s the apron legdrop (Coach calls it a dropkick) but Undertaker’s back is bothering him. It’s bad enough that he can’t hit the Last Ride, allowing Edge to boot him back to the floor. Back in and it’s a half crab to work on the weakened back, followed by Edge laying next to Undertaker and pulling on both legs at once. A rope is grabbed and that means it’s time to slug it out, which you don’t do against undertaker. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is cut off by a dropkick for another near fall.

The chokeslam is countered into the Edgecution for two but another chokeslam connects just fine. Old School is broken up again with a crotching and it’s a top rope superplex for a delayed two. For some reason Edge hammers away in the corner so it’s the Last Ride…with Edge slipping out because he’s still several steps ahead of Undertaker. Another Last Ride attempt works this time (with Edge almost landing on his head) for two more as they’re trading bombs now.

The Tombstone is broken up and the Edge-O-Matic drops Undertaker. He’s fine enough to pop back up and FINALLY connect with Old School but Undertaker kicks the referee down by mistake. That means a spear to put Undertaker down but, like many great ones before him, Edge takes too long running his mouth and gets grabbed by the throat. Unlike many other great ones before him, Edge gets in a low blow and steals a camera (which he used at Survivor Series).

The running shot to the head connects but the referee falls to the floor. The camera cuts away from the situp for no apparent reason, followed by the Tombstone to Edge. Charles Robinson sprints down the crazy long ramp to count two after a funny sprint. Cue the Edgeheads (Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins) for a distraction but Undertaker gets rid of them, only to walk into a spear for two. The second spear connects but this time Undertaker pulls him into Hell’s Gate for the tap at 23:49.

Rating: A-. This is a forgotten classic that almost never gets the respect it deserves. Edge having all of the counters and making you believe that he could have just enough tricks up his sleeves to pull off the upset was a great story and the action more than lived up to the hype. This match never gets old, but it also never gets remembered, which is quite the shame as it’s awesome.

Undertaker poses and the long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. Why don’t more people talk about this one? The only two bad matches are Batista vs. Umaga and the women’s tag and those don’t even combine for fifteen minutes. This is another well paced show (clocking in at less than three hours and fifty minutes) with one great match after another. I always have a good time with this one and if you tweak it just a bit, it’s on the all time list. Excellent show and worth another look if you haven’t checked it out lately.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: A-

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B+

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: F+

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A

Was I just in a really good mood or something this time?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/02/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-the-underrated-classic/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-2015-redo-one-woo-for-the-road/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s the biggest night of the year and this time the show does indeed feel big. You can feel how things have been going strong on the way here and I want to see how it goes. That takes some work when I have already seen the show multiple times. It is a stacked card and the biggest is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga in the Battle of the Billionaires, which is really Donald Trump vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, let’s do the pre-show match for a bonus.

Pre-Show: Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match to get more people in front of the crowd. The entrance is a little weird here as there is a huge curtain in front of the set, which does make this feel like a bonus. Flair and Helms start things off with Helms taking him into the corner for a slap to the face. A hiptoss into some chops slow Helms down and it’s Carlito coming in to knee lift Chavo.

Carlito dropkicks Chavo off the apron to little avail but Helms kicks Carlito off the apron to take over. Back in and Chavo belly to back suplexes him into a chinlock but Carlito fights up in a hurry. The hot tag brings in Flair to clean house as everything breaks down. Helms breaks up the Figure Four but Chavo misses the frog splash. Guerrero is back up and tries the Three Amigos but Carlito escapes and hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing but a standard Raw match here (if you ignore the Smackdown wrestlers involved) and that is perfectly fine for the spot they were in. This was about warming the crowd up and having Flair out there is going to do that just fine. Sometimes you need someone to set the stage for later and these four did it just fine in a very simple tag match.

The opening video looks at a history of the show, including some major moments. We also get a special look at Wrestlemania III, with the famous Vince McMahon introduction swinging into this year’s America the Beautiful, once again sung by Aretha Franklin.

We go to the regular opening video, featuring a bunch of wrestlers talking about how they have always dreamed of being here as children. Now they are all grown up and it is time to take the stage themselves. This campaign has grown on me a lot over the years and I like it a good bit more than I used to.

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Mr. Kennedy

Money in the Bank as they’re starting big this year. Everyone looks up at the briefcase to start and then it’s already time to head outside for the fight. It’s a brawl to start and Finlay dives off the top onto almost everyone else. Matt has to cut off Edge’s climb, leaving Orton and Finlay to climb the ladder to no avail. Booker goes to pull out another ladder but finds Hornswoggle’s stepladder instead, allowing Punk to knock him down.

Edge bridges a ladder between the apron and the barricade but Booker starts cleaning house. There’s the Spanarooni, only to have the Hardys run Booker over with ladders. For some reason Finlay saves Edge from the see saw ladder treatment and Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder. Kennedy’s Kenton Bomb onto hits ladder (with Kennedy landing HARD on the back of his head) and it’s a Hardy slugout on top of the ladder.

Finlay breaks that up but gets speared down by Edge. More spears drop just about everyone else but Punk wraps the ladder around his head to knock out various people. Edge slides in the big ladder and climbs, at least until Orton shoves him over the top and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge over the bridged ladder and Jeff dives onto him, breaking the ladder to get rid of both of them. Both guys are taken out on stretchers and we’re down to a six way.

Now it’s time for the parade of RKOs and Orton climbs, despite not being underneath the briefcase. Punk breaks that up and climbs as well, only to get taken down with a super RKO for the huge spot. Booker grabs the Book End and goes up but Matt is there to catch him. Cue Queen Sharmell to grab Matt’s leg but Booker gets distracted by Matt and walks into the Twist of Fate.

Finlay gives Matt a Celtic Cross onto the ladder, busting himself open in the process. Now it’s Hornswoggle going up the ladder until Kennedy catches him for a super Regal Roll off the ladder. Punk dropkicks the ladder down to cut Finlay off and it’s Punk vs. Kennedy on top of the ladder. Kennedy gets knocked down but comes back up and kicks Punk down, allowing him to grab the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. I never know how to rate these things but it was another blast with everyone flying around and having one crash after another. This was a lot of fun and one of the right people won, which is what matters the most in a match like Money in the Bank. Everyone got a chance to shine here, even in a complete car crash match like this one. Rather fun opener.

We look at the premiere of the Condemned. It wasn’t that good.

Mr. Kennedy congratulates himself and says any champion needs to have eyes in the back of his head because he’s coming with the briefcase.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Interpromotional battle of the monsters, though Kane doesn’t even have his big hook here. Khali shoves him down to start and adds a shoulder to drop Kane again. There’s a clothesline to set up a slam as it’s all Khali so far. The nerve hold doesn’t last long so Khali starts stomping away in the corner as JR gets in the bowling shoe line. Kane is back with some right hands and the top rope clothesline, which doesn’t knock Khali down.

Instead, Kane knocks him into the ropes for the tie up and NOW it’s time for the big hook. That takes too long though and the slugout is on with Khali getting the better of things. Khali rips the turnbuckle pad off but Kane gets in a low blow into the slam (for the Hogan/Andre callback). It’s just a slam though so Khali is back up with the double chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? They had five minutes and the whole thing was about making Khali look like a monster. The hook never meant anything (as it would have killed Khali) but the slam was a cool moment. Sometimes you need a bit of a cool down match and that’s what you got here after the crazy opener.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme try to cheer Eugene up so here is Extreme Expose for the dancing. Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come up in the same outfits to dance but Slick (get him in the Hall of Fame already) comes in to show them up. Dusty Rhodes, IRS, Jimmy Hart, Gerald Brisco (in a suit of course) and finally Ricky Steamboat come in. Say it with me: Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

MVP is challenging and has his own cheerleaders for some Wrestlemania flavor. Benoit drives him into the corner to start and grabs a headscissors on the mat. That’s reversed into a headlock as they’re going technical early on. MVP has to block the German suplex and the Crossface but Benoit sends him outside. Back in and MVP has to go to the rope to break up another Crossface attempt, which has Cole impressed. With the holds not working, Benoit chops him into the corner and loads MVP up on top, only to get knocked back down.

MVP starts in on the arm, including with some kicks and driving shoulders. The confidence gets a bit too high though as Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex. It’s too early for the Swan Dive though and MVP catches him on top with a superplex. MVP stays on the shoulder by sending it into the post and a belly to back suplex onto the arm gets two. We hit the armbar for a bit but Benoit pops up and snaps on the Crossface. The bar arm gives out though and MVP plants him with a slam. Ballin gets two but the running boot misses in the corner. Benoit rolls more German suplexes and the Swan Dive retains the title clean.

Rating: C+. This was always a weird one for me as they set up MVP to win the title but then Benoit just retains clean. I’m still not sure what the point of this one was other than to give us a surprise. The match itself was like a good Smackdown match so it isn’t out of place, but this felt like a curve ball for the sake of a curve ball, as it isn’t like Benoit is some kind of amazing champion.

Donald Trump is in on the phone in his dressing room and complaining about things. Boogeyman comes in and Trump no sells it, asking for some food.

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. William Shatner still seems to have almost no idea who Jerry Lawler is.

Official attendance: 80,103.

Howard Finkel introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2007 (I still love that song):

Jim Ross (quite the reaction)
Curt Hennig (represented by family)
Jerry Lawler (also quite the reaction)
Nick Bockwinkel (Fans don’t seem to know him, but is this guy ever not impeccably dressed?)
Mr. Fuji (I would never have recognized him, though it’s Don Muraco of all people wheeling him out)
The Wild Samoans (Not much of a reaction but how were they not in already?)
The Original Sheik (represented by his wife)
Dusty Rhodes (your headliner)

We get a fan poll on Undertaker vs. Batista, with Undertaker winning 82%-18%. That’s a heck of a squash.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot and Batista is all BRING IT ON as we have the monster fight for the title. This feels like a Wrestlemania World Title match and that’s kind of a hard trick to pull off.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Teddy Long handles the introductions for a bit of a weird moment. We get the full druid entrance for Undertaker, which will never stop being awesome. Batista spears him down at the bell and it’s time to trade right hands in the corner. It’s actually Batista getting the better of things and the fans are not too thrilled with that. Undertaker pulls him outside for a ram into the apron but Batista is right back for a hard whip into the steps.

Back in and Batista nails a top rope shoulder (dang) for two and a heck of a clothesline cuts Undertaker off again. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and punches Batista into the corner for the running clotheslines. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the legdrop for two as we’re back to mostly even. Old School looks to set up the chokeslam but Batista powers out and knocks Undertaker down.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind as he sends Batista to the apron for the legdrop. There’s the Taker Dive and they’re both down on the floor. Back up and Batista drives him HARD through the barricade and hammers away as things have cranked up in a hurry. The announcers’ table is loaded up and a running powerslam drives Undertaker through it for the big crash. That’s only good for two back inside so Batista punches away even more.

The Batista Bomb is broken up with a drive into the corner but Batista is right back….with right hands from the middle rope. I guess HHH didn’t teach him that one and it’s the Last Ride for two. The frustrated Undertaker gets caught in a spinebuster but pops back up with a chokeslam for two. Batista slips out of the chokeslam and hits the spear into the Batista Bomb for two as the fans are WAY into these near falls. Undertaker backdrops his way out of another Batista Bomb and sends Batista into the corner. The Tombstone is enough to give Undertaker the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania level title match between two monsters. These two beat the fire out of each other and didn’t bother with anything other than the big power moves. They were trading bombs throughout the whole match and it was a question of who would survive, which made the whole thing world. It helps when Undertaker was motivated by being put in the middle of the card and cranked it up a notch, as both guys felt like they were on another level here.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Stephanie McMahon brings her daughter in to meet Vince McMahon and we get the baby carriage cam, with Vince talking trash about Donald Trump. Jokes about a smell, at Trump’s expense, ensue.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

That would be Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Kevin Thorn/Matt Striker, with Ariel in the New Breed’s corner. The Originals come through the crowd for a nice bit of flavor. Sabu starts fast with the springboard elbow and body block to drop Striker. Sandman comes in so Cor Von makes a fast save and stays to beat on Dreamer. A hard elbow drops Dreamer and it’s Burke coming in for the Elijah Express.

The mocking of Dreamer’s pose delays the near fall and it’s Thorn coming in for a chinlock. A spinebuster gives Thorn two with Sabu making a save of his own. Cor Von’s chinlock stays on Dreamer’s back but he lets go to knock Sandman off the apron. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and, after kicking Burke away, it’s a hot tag to bring in Van Dam. House is cleaned, including the monkey flip and Rolling Thunder to Striker. Everything breaks down and Dreamer DDTs Striker as Sandman runs over people on the floor. The Five Star gives Van Dam the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t a good match or really anything close, but what matters here was giving ECW ANYTHING to do on the show. They didn’t need to do anything more than the basics here and Van Dam winning is a perfect way to go. You can all but guarantee that this feud isn’t over, especially with an Extreme Rules rematch out there.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires, which is more about asking celebrities who they want to see bald. To keep it simple, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon got in a stupid argument over who is richer/invented YOU’RE FIRED/walks funnier so it’s time for a match between their handpicked representatives with the billionaires’ hair on the line. Throw in Steve Austin as referee and it’s the real Wrestlemania main event.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Non-title, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon are both here, with Steve Austin as guest referee and Armando Alejandro Estrada in Umaga’s corner. Everything, including the barber’s chair, gets its own entrance (JR: “All we need now is a barbershop quartet.”). They stare at each other before colliding, with Lashley driving him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley away because Umaga is in the ropes so Lashley goes up for a middle rope clothesline.

Estrada puts Umaga’s foot on the rope so Lashley powerslams Estrada and sends him outside. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor as well but Lashley misses a charge to send himself flying outside as well. Back in and Umaga gets two off a splash and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Austin doesn’t like that either and breaks it up, just to keep things even. The near explosion lets Lashley elbow Umaga in the face but Umaga runs him over again.

Some sitting down onto Lashley’s chest sets up a Samoan drop and Trump….looks about the same as he has all match. Lashley knocks Vince off the apron but Umaga is right back with a Downward Spiral. A trip up top takes too long as Lashley slams Umaga off the top for a double nine count, though Austin just won’t count the ten. Cue Shane McMahon to help Vince up as Umaga uppercuts Lashley down to cut him off again. Austin goes after Umaga’s eye to break up the choking so Shane offers a distraction, allowing Umaga to Samoan Spike Austin to the floor.

The double beating is on and Shane, after pointing at Trump (who points back), hits the Coast To Coast. Shane has a referee shirt (because of course he does) and Umaga’s top rope splash connects. Austin is back up to pull Shane to the floor and take him out (Trump, sounding calm: “What’s going on over here?”). Umaga drops Austin again but Trump clotheslines Vince (there’s your entertainment show highlight), leaving Austin to Stun Umaga. The spear gives Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was expecting some kind of amazing match here and that’s not what you got. Instead, this was the crazy brawl surrounding the not very great power match. They kept this relatively short too, as there was no need to stretch this out any longer than needed. There was no way Trump was getting his head shaved so just get to the good stuff, which they did.

Post match Austin drags Vince inside for the shaving, but has to beat up Shane first. Vince tries to escape but Lashley chases him down without much trouble and drags him back to the ring. Back in and Vince bumps into Austin (as identified with a rub of the bald head), meaning it’s a Stunner to get Vince in the chair. The shaving is on (with Austin holding Vince for old times sake), even as Vince screams to not do this to him. JR: “It was Mr. McMahon’s real hair all along!”

They even whip out the shaving cream and razors to REALLY shave it off. JR: “Wrestlemania XXIII may be all grown up, but Mr. McMahon’s hair is all shaved off.” Vince looks eerily calm but then loses it all over again when Lashley holds up the mirror. As usual, Vince will do anything asked of him to make a moment like this. Beer is consumed and Austin Stuns Trump (the worst of all time, but he tried) to wrap it up.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

We look at the pre-show match as the ring is cleared out.

Commentary recaps the night so far.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

Melina is defending and it’s a lumberjill match, with all of the lumberjills being named during the group entrance. Melina starts fast with the boot choke in the corner as JBL says the women look good enough to even impress Cole. Ashley gets knocked into a short giant swing and it’s off to a double arm crank with Melina’s boots in Ashley’s back. The comeback is on with Ashley whipping her into the corner and grabbing a monkey flip. Starstruck (middle rope elbow) misses though and Melina grabs a bridging cradle to retain.

Rating: D. Did you expect anything else? Ashley isn’t a wrestler and Melina isn’t good enough to carry her to anything great. They were very smart to keep this short as there was no way they could do anything long term here. Ashley did as much as she could, but this was nothing more than a way to promote her Playboy, as is the tradition for this spot.

Post match the big brawl is on and the good ones clean house in a hurry.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

John Cena beats Shawn Michaels in another fan poll 59%-41%.

We recap John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels won a triple threat match to earn the spot and has since decided that he wanted to protect Cena until Wrestlemania. They wound up winning the Tag Team Titles but Shawn finally superkicked Cena, as is his nature, on the final Raw before Wrestlemania. Cena winning seems likely, but it’s Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, and that is always going to give him a shot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and comes out to the DX theme, which still doesn’t feel quite right. You would think his already iconic theme song would work, though he’s pretty famous for this song too. Cena’s big Wrestlemania entrance this year involves driving a Ford Mustang into the arena, right through a glass wall. They happen to be Tag Team Champions as well but it doesn’t mean as much here.

Shawn sits on the top turnbuckle as we’re ready to go. After hopping down, Shawn tells Cena to bring it and finally slaps him in the face to pick up the pace in a hurry. Cena gets knocked down into the corner and that means a crotch chop from Shawn. A backflip gets Shawn out of a belly to back suplex and Cena is frustrated early on. Shawn headlock takeovers him down and then does it again for a bonus. Back up and Cena cuts him down with a clothesline as the fans are firmly behind Shawn here.

Shawn enziguris him to the floor, setting up the springboard moonsault onto Cena onto the announcers’ table for the really nasty crash. Back in and Shawn goes for the leg, including stomping it down and wrapping it around the post. More stomping has the referee asking if Cena can continue and Shawn bends the knee around the rope. Shawn chops away so Cena punches him in the face for a simple yet effective counter.

A missed charge sends Shawn hard into the post and he’s busted open (thanks to one of those lightning quick blade jobs). Cena starts the comeback, including the ProtoBomb and Shuffle, but Shawn slips out of the FU. A quick Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake (it seems early for that) and the FU is countered into a DDT to put them both down. With no referee, Shawn takes Cena outside for a piledriver onto the steps. Cena is busted as well as Shawn pulls him back inside, where a second referee comes in for the near fall.

The forearm sets up the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is cut off with a hard clothesline. They’re both down again (as you might have guessed) for a bit before it’s time for the big slugout. The FU is countered into a sunset flip to give Shawn two but the next attempt connects. Cena can’t cover at first so it’s a very delayed near fall. Shawn breaks up the super FU and tries the superkick but has to counter the STFU (over and over) before getting two off a small package.

Cena is back with the STFU but Shawn realizes he is about a foot away from the rope and they’re out again. Back up and Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music for a delayed near fall of his own. They pull themselves up and Cena snaps him right back into the STFU to make Shawn tap and retain the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania main event and that shouldn’t surprise anyone. They went with the epic match here and by the end, it felt like either of them could pull this off. It made everything feel that much better and it felt like an incredible main event. Again, I’m not sure how much drama there was over who was going to win here, but they still had an outstanding match with Shawn making Cena look like a killer and Cena hanging with Shawn well enough to feel like the biggest star in the company when he retained the title.

Shawn walks away post match, but Cena offer the salute.

The Ladies And Gentlemen highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The big matches delivered and the bad stuff was mostly short. While it isn’t quite a classic, this is firmly in the higher tier of Wrestlemanias. What mattered here was the feeling, as you had a pair of great World Title matches, Money in the Bank delivering, and the big song and dance match with the Battle of the Billionaires. The rest of the show was watchable at worst and as a result, it felt like a Wrestlemania. That’s more than you could say about last year’s edition so they are trending in the right direction.

 

 

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No Mercy 2007
Date: October 7, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s time for a special show as John Cena is no longer the WWE Champion due to suffering an injury on Raw. Therefore we are guaranteed a new champion, though it is not clear how the title will be decided. Other than that, the Smackdown side features Batista defending the World Title against Great Khali in a Punjabi Prison match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the story of Noah, including sending out a dove, which led to Noah and his family being shown mercy. That won’t be the case tonight, as we will have a new WWE Champion.

Here are Vince McMahon and William Regal with the WWE Title underneath a covering in the ring. McMahon recaps John Cena’s injury (the fans don’t seem crushed) and promises that we will see a WWE Title match right here tonight. Vince talks about giving the fans the power and what they want, which leads to a big Y2J chant. Vince: “I’m not going to give you that!” Instead, he gives us the new WWE Champion: Randy Orton!

We get a long celebration from Orton, who still has to defend the title tonight. Regal even lets him pick his own opponent (Fans: “Y2J!”), so Orton makes it clear that he will NOT be facing Cena tonight (the fans approve). Orton talks about all the people he has put on the shelf and says there is no one that comes close to him.

Cue HHH in his gear and the fans approve of this one. HHH issues the challenge but Orton says no, with HHH thinking that’s a good idea. Orton wouldn’t want his second World Title reign to be shorter than his first. The fans seem to want HHH to get the show, so he goads Vince about it a bit and asks if Orton is scared. HHH accuses Vince of being scared and having no guts, or perhaps even any grapefruits. That’s finally enough to get the match so let’s do it right now.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is defending and a Vince distraction lets him jump HHH at the bell. An elbow to the face sends Orton outside but HHH isn’t going to let him walk out. Back in and Orton gets to stomp away but HHH nails the running knee. Orton’s backbreaker gives him his own two and it’s time to hammer away on the mat as this is pretty basic offense so far.

The powerslam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock. HHH fights up again and hits a heck of a running clothesline, followed by an even bigger superplex for two. The spinebuster gets two more and HHH throws him outside, only to get caught with the hanging DDT on the way back in.

The RKO is countered but so is the Pedigree, leaving them both needing a breather. Orton misses the knee drop so HHH grabs a Figure Four, sending Orton straight to the ropes. Back up and Orton sends him to the floor so HHH comes in off the top, only to get pulled back down. Orton misses a charge into the post though and HHH grabs a rollup to give him the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. Yeah it’s hot shotting the title change but this is a bit of a special circumstance. HHH winning the title is a nice feel good moment as he is the undisputed top good guy on the roster right now. Let the fans have their nice moment to get them over Cena, even if it means that Orton had the title for about twenty minutes. Good match too, as evil Orton vs. heroic HHH hadn’t been done very often at this point.

HHH celebrates for a pretty long time.

Orton runs into Vince McMahon backstage and the boss walks away without saying a word.

Jeff Hardy/Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy

Bonus match, with Cade and Murdoch introducing Kennedy as their surprise partner. Cade and Kendrick start things off with Kendrick hitting a running crossbody. London comes in with a sunset flip for two and it’s off to Murdoch, who gets headlocked over almost immediately. Jeff uses London as Matt in Poetry in Motion but the sitout jawbreaker is shrugged off.

That lets Kennedy come in to stomp away but Jeff shrugs it off and hands it back to Kendrick. Cade gets forearmed and dropkicked, only to have Murdoch low bridge Kendrick to the floor. Murdoch gets dropped onto Kendrick for a legdrop and some knee drops make it worse. That lets Kennedy choke away in the corner and the cravate goes on. With that not getting him very far, it’s back to Cade, whose superplex attempt is cut off.

Instead, Kendrick comes back with a flying DDT and a VERY diving tag brings in Jeff to start cleaning house. The sitout gordbuster is dropped and Murdoch lands on his face but Hardy goes up for the Swanton anyway. Cade makes the save as everything breaks down, leaving Kennedy to hit the Green Bay Plunge to finish London.

Rating: C+. I can always go for the idea of throwing six people into one match and letting them do their thing like this. You can probably pencil in Kennedy as Hardy’s next Intercontinental Title challenger and that is the kind of place that would suit him well. Cade/Murdoch vs. London/Kendrick is a pairing that always works well enough so this was a fine use of pay per view time, especially for something unadvertised.

HHH and Batista admire their titles but HHH bumps into Vince McMahon. Vince doesn’t like to let his fans down, so HHH vs. Umaga is still on and the title is on the line.

ECW World Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V, with Matt Striker, is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match against Tommy Dreamer, who was already the #1 contender. An early lockup goes badly for Punk as V shoves him outside. Back in and V mounts him for some shots to the face but Punk is back up with some kicks and forearms. V misses a charge into the corner though and Punk hits a missile dropkick, only to have Striker come in for the fast DQ.

Post match V destroys Punk with a Samoan drop and a bunch of elbow drops. V leaves and Punk has to be helped out of the ring as this will continue.

Long recap of MVP and Matt Hardy’s various sports contests over the last ten (egads) weeks.

And now, a pizza eating contest, as hosted by Taz and scored by Maria and Melina. After some long entrances, MVP complains about eating this many calories, like so many people from Chicago clearly are. Maria says she’s from Chicago, so is she fat? MVP says deep dish pizza doesn’t help your IQ, so he and Matt get into it over all of these competitions again. They finally sit down and have two minutes to eat the most slices, with the women keeping score. After two minutes, Matt somehow wins 2-0 and then vomits on MVP. This was longer than any match on the show so far.

We recap HHH vs. Umaga, which stems from HHH mocking Vince McMahon for being Hornswoggle’s father. Vince brought Umaga back and sent him after HHH, setting up this match. Thanks to HHH winning the title earlier tonight, it is now a title match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga

HHH is defending and they go right to the slugout to start. A DDT has no effect on Umaga so HHH low bridges him out to the floor. HHH’s ram into the steps has no effect so HHH gets sent into them for some more impact. Back in and Umaga hits a superkick before sitting down on his chest. The middle rope headbutt misses though and HHH is back with the facebuster, again to no avail. The Samoan Spike is countered into a Pedigree attempt, which is countered as well.

HHH pops back up with a spinebuster but another Pedigree attempt is countered into the Samoan drop. They head outside with HHH being sent ribs first into the apron, followed by the bearhug inside. Even wild Samoans have psychology. Umaga’s swinging Rock Bottom gets two more and Umaga stays on the ribs. The running hip attack misses though and so does a charge into the post. That’s enough to set up the Pedigree to retain HHH’s title.

Rating: C+. This felt like the match before intermission at a house show as they ran through it rather quickly, which is understandable as it’s HHH’s second match of the night. Umaga wasn’t going to win the title and they weren’t going to give him a big win so soon after he was back from a major suspension, but he is fine as a dragon for HHH to slay.

SAVE US video.

We look at the Punjabi Prison.

Great Khali is meditating and Runjin Singh talks about the evil that Khali is channeling for this match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

Finlay isn’t having this wristlock stuff to start and uppercuts Rey up against the ropes. A crossbody gets Rey out of trouble though and he hammers away in the corner to stagger Finlay for a change. Rey sends him outside but the baseball slid gets him caught in the ring skirt so the beating can be on again. Back in and Rey gets sent into the post, setting up the Fujiwara armbar.

A very hard clothesline takes Rey down again and Finlay grabs a hammerlock. Rey gets back up and sends him into the corner for the break, followed by another crossbody for another two. The springboard seated senton into a basement dropkick gets two but the 619 is cut off with another clothesline.

With the usual stuff not working, Finlay pulls off the turnbuckle pad. That’s a bit too obvious so Finlay grabs the Shillelagh, only to get hurricanranaed into the ropes. Finlay ducks the 619 (that’s a smart one) but Rey hits a top rope Fameasser instead, knocking Finlay off the apron straight onto the floor with a loud THUD. That looked horrible and the sound was even worse. It’s so bad that Finlay is out cold and the match is stopped as he is taken out on a stretcher.

Rating: C. There is always room for someone like Finlay against a fan favorite like Rey, though that ending is a rough thing to see. It’s always weird to rate a match that ends without a winner like this, but it was about what you would expect from these two. I could go with another from them when they get the chance to wrap it up properly.

Post match Finlay jumps off the stretcher and destroys Rey. That one got me so nicely done.

HHH is in the trainer’s room getting his ribs treated when Vince McMahon comes in. Vince guaranteed a new WWE Champion tonight and that is what we had. He guaranteed a WWE Title match and we did. The thing is, he also guaranteed a Last Man Standing match….so that is what HHH is getting, because Randy Orton has requested his automatic rematch. Vince: “If you can stand at all, champ.”

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and gets powered straight into the corner to start. A rollup out of the corner gives Michelle two but Beth hits the running shoulder to the ribs to cut her off. Michelle dropkicks her way out of trouble and grabs a short armscissors of all things. That’s broken up as well and Michelle dives into a World’s Strongest Slam for two.

The cobra clutch of all things goes on but Michelle does her best Bret Hart and climbs the corner for the backflip for two, with Beth not letting go as she kicks out. Candice drives her into the corner for the break and there’s a spinwheel kick. A high crossbody gives Candice two more and so does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth has had it and hits a backbreaker into the fisherman’s DDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This was one of the flatter pay per view matches I can remember in a while as it just came and went. Candice losing the title is the right call, as there comes a point where her surviving against a monster like Phoenix is too much to accept. Phoenix is a different breed and should be a big thing in the division for a long time to come.

Post match Beth says this is the ushering in of the era of the Glamazon.

The Punjabi Prison is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Batista won the title from Khali at Unforgiven in a triple threat and now it is time for the big showdown rematch. It’s basically “can Batista slay the monster” with some bells and whistles.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending inside the Punjabi Prison. There is a bamboo cage around the ring and then a much bigger one outside the ring. The inner cage has four doors that you have to call to be opened, which will have it opened for sixty seconds. After that, it stays closed permanently. You have to get out of the inner cage and then get over the bigger one to win. In other words, it’s more complicated than it needs to be and kind of hard to see through the big bars too, which is why it was only used a few times ever.

Khali goes after him with the chops to start but Batista knocks him back in the ropes to tie up the giant’s arms. JBL points out that Batista should be calling for a door but instead he charges into a boot like a moron as Khali gets his arms out. The big chop knocks Batista silly so Khali has a door opened. Batista makes the save though and the first door is officially closed for the rest of the match.

Some elbows in the corner have Batista in trouble but he comes back with a spear. The second door is open but Khali cuts him off this time and chokes against the cage until the door is officially closed. Khali pulls a strap off the cage and whips Batista down before calling for the third door to be opened. Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster though and crawls for the door, only to have Khali pull him back, meaning the door is officially closed.

That doesn’t work for Batista, who uses the same strap to beat on Khali but gets knocked down again with a single shot. The vice grip goes on so Khali calls for the last door to be open. Batista is back with a low blow to drop Khali, who is up in time to slam the door onto Batista’s back. The fourth door is officially closed so they have to go over the top to get out of the first cage.

Batista starts to go up but Khali pulls him back down for a crash. Khali manages to climb over the top of the first cage (that is some strong bamboo, mainly because it is supported by steel, because steel supported bamboo is a thing) to the floor. Batista is climbing up the inner structure and gets to the top as Khali gets to the top of the outer structure. In a pretty impressive move, Batista jumps from the inner cage to the outer and then beats Khali over the top and to the floor to retain.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse, but the problem is pretty obvious: this whole concept is so big and more complicated than it needs to be that it isn’t even fun. Also, I’m not sure how much of a signature match it can be for Khali when he hasn’t actually been in one of them before this. The ending was cool though as it felt like something out of the end of a movie and showed Batista was smart, which he has been before. Not a good match, but a clever ending.

Long recap of the WWE Title situation.

HHH is ready to fight one more time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH, with bad ribs, is defending in a Last Man Standing match. They stare at each other to start until Orton gets smart by going after the bad (and untaped) ribs. More shots to the ribs sent HHH outside, where his quick Pedigree attempt is countered with a legsweep to send the ribs into the ramp.

Back in and more shots to the ribs set up a belly to back drop onto the barricade for a six count. A whip into the steps gets six more so they head back inside. HHH manages a much needed facebuster for a breather but Orton’s backbreaker puts him down for eight more. That just has Orton frustrated so he grabs a TV cord and chokes HHH into some nasty spitting.

HHH gets up at nine so the annoyed Orton sends him outside. The ECW announcers’ table (with Joey and Tazz still there after their minute and thirty seven second match earlier) is loaded up and a monitor to the head rocks HHH. The RKO through the table is shoved off though and Orton crashes through the table hard. Orton is up at nine as well so HHH hits a spinebuster on the floor for another nine.

Some steps to the head get another nine count and they roll back inside. Orton manages a DDT onto a chair to stun HHH though and the RKO onto the open chair leave a bloody HHH down. The ropes get HHH back up and he throws in the crotch chop before falling to the mat again. Orton’s Punt is blocked though and HHH makes the fired up comeback by taking Orton outside and sending him into various objects.

Orton cuts him off though and a catapult sends HHH head first into the post for another near fall. The steps are picked up but HHH cuts him off with a low blow. That leaves Orton’s heads in the steps and it’s a chair shot to crush him again. Orton gets up again and the Pedigree is loaded up, only to have him counter into the RKO onto the table for the ten count and the title.

Rating: B. They picked it up in the end but this was a lot of standing around waiting after someone does something big. In other words, it’s a Last Man Standing match but it’s a Last Man Standing match without a reason for these two to hate each other. I do like that they gave us the kind of match they advertised, but it was a weird position to be in after the Cena vs. Orton feud got so personal and HHH was just a last minute substitute.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of the weirder shows that WWE has ever presented and I’m not really sure what to think of it. The wrestling is mostly good, save for the Punjabi Prison mess, but it felt like a better version of a Russo era Raw with the three title matches in one night. They were in a tough spot here though and they did a pretty good job so well done with this, though it’s a pretty weird one.

 

 

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