Smackdown – September 3, 2021: The Garden Awaits

Smackdown
Date: September 3, 2021
Location: VyStar Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s a title show this week as Finn Balor gets a shot at Roman Reigns and the Universal Title. That sounds like something that could headline Extreme Rules so we may be in for some shenanigans. Other than that, we need to get some things going for the pay per view, which is in just over three weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap/hype video for Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor.

Here are the Usos for their Championship Contenders match against the Street Profits. Before we get started, the Usos talks about how the Profits disrespected them last week so come get them because they are the ones.

Street Profits vs. Usos

Non-title. Hold on though as the Street Profits want to know how the Usos are in the ring without their permission slips. Ford admits the Usos are spitting facts and they are the ones. As in the ones about to take a beating. The Usos take the Profits down to start but Jimmy takes too long talking trash and gets caught with a dropkick from Dawkins. Ford comes in for a dropkick of his own, plus one to Jey. A quick shot from the cup sets up Ford’s dive off the apron, which is pulled out of the air for a drop onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Ford fighting out of a chinlock and avoiding a charge to send Jimmy shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings in Dawkins but Jey catches him with a Samoan drop for two. Both Usos take Dawkins up top but he fights his way to freedom and gets over for the tag to Ford. The Anointment sets up the Cash Out for two with Jey making the save. Jey sends Ford into the post twice in a row and that’s a DQ at 7:56.

Rating: C+. I will absolutely take that over the champs getting pinned to set up a title match at Extreme Rules. The ending even gives them a reason to have a hardcore match of some kind and that’s a good thing. Mix this stuff up a bit and the matches are that much better. See how easy it is?

Post match the Usos come after them again and take Dawkins outside. That’s fine with Ford, who hits a SCARY dive over the top, nearly landing on his head and scaring commentary. Thankfully he’s fine enough to get onto the announcers’ table for the posing.

Roman Reigns is watching in the back and sends Paul Heyman to do something.

Heyman is walking when Kayla Braxton scares him. He suggests she enjoy the moment but Heyman’s phone rings…with Brock Lesnar’s theme as the ring tone. Heyman says there comes a time….and it rings again. He answers and tries to say this is a bad time but gets cut off by someone presumably yelling on the other end. Heyman says he’ll do it and gets hung up on. Braxton says she is definitely enjoying this moment, as Heyman told her to. Heyman goes to a janitor and says if he wants to take out the trash, start with Braxton. It’s Big E., who laughs maniacally as Heyman looks like he wants to cry. Heyman was great here.

Here is Becky Lynch for a chat to a heck of a reaction. After a recap of Bianca Belair becoming #1 contender to the Smackdown Women’s Title, Becky talks about knowing how everyone wants to rub elbows with her. Bianca Belair isn’t happy about Becky winning the title at Summerslam but it isn’t Becky’s fault that “ESTher” wasn’t ready. Belair can do all of her flips, but it took one flick of Becky’s fist to become Smackdown Women’s Champion again.

Cue Belair to say she never complained about losing, but last week she proved she is the EST around here when she won the four way. Roman Reigns is defending his title tonight so Becky can do the same. Becky doesn’t care what Reigns does because the match isn’t happening tonight.

Dolph Ziggler introduces himself to Toni Storm and offers her a front row seat…in his corner. Storm says he’s great but she is rooting for Rick Boogs tonight.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rick Boogs

Boogs starts fast with a big gorilla press and Ziggler isn’t sure what to do. The pumphandle slam is cut off but Boogs grabs him again, setting up the pumphandle slam for the pin at 1:28.

Becky Lynch tells Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville that the match isn’t happening tonight. That’s fine with the two of them, as the match can take place at Extreme Rules. Next week, it’s the contract signing at Madison Square Garden.

Seth Rollins talks about how he has watched his match with Edge so many times now and it is time to renew himself like a fine wine.

Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro

Cesaro starts fast by sending him outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Rollins hits a quick dropkick into an Impaler DDT (ala Edge) for two as we take an early break. We come back with Cesaro hitting an uppercut but getting countered into the Buckle Bomb for two. Cesaro fights back again so Rollins grabs the Edge O Matic for two more.

The Stomp is countered into a powerbomb to give Cesaro a breather and he’s back up with a discus lariat for his own near fall. There’s the Swing into the Sharpshooter but Seth is right next to the ropes. They head outside with Cesaro loading up the running uppercut but Rollins grabs a chair for the DQ at 9:43.

Rating: C+. Rollins being obsessed with Edge is an interesting way to go and odds are we’ll be seeing a rematch, maybe as soon as Extreme Rules. It’s a good idea for Rollins, who has been needing something that wasn’t the Friday Night Messiah or anything close to it for awhile now. As for Cesaro…yeah you had to know this kind of thing was coming.

Post match Rollins snaps and puts Cesaro in the Crossface with the chair bar over the mouth ala Edge. The Stomp leaves Cesaro laying. Rollins loads up the Conchairto but Edge runs in for the save.

Roman Reigns tells the Usos to stick to the game plan. They leave so Paul Heyman says they have a problem. Reigns isn’t worried but Heyman says they have a problem with Brock Lesnar. Reigns: “No, YOU have a problem with Brock Lesnar.” Heyman says Lesnar is going to be in Madison Square Garden next week on Smackdown. Lesnar called him earlier for the first time in a year and is watching the show because FOX is really big in Saskatchewan. Reigns wants to now how Heyman knows where Lesnar is, because Lesnar might be here tonight. Heyman seems to panic.

Happy Corbin arrives and thinks the interviewer is the valet.

Edge thinks Seth Rollins has lost it but he would probably do the same. This has to stop though and Edge wants Rollins next week. This doesn’t end well (Edge’s words).

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show, with Owens being happy about wearing a tie. Speaking of Happy, here is Happy Corbin as this week’s guest. As expected, Corbin is very happy to be here and says Owens not helping him is what made Corbin so happy in the first place. Owens wants no part of this but Corbin says he has his own special guest: Logan Paul.

Owens isn’t impressed as Corbin talks about how they’re friends now. They watched Logan’s brother Jake beat Tyron Woodley and then hung out together, which Owens thinks sounds horrible. Owens calls Paul trash so Logan offers him $100. That’s not going to work for Owens, who wants Paul out of WWE. They shove each other and Owens goes after him but gets dropped by a mic shot from Corbin. The beatdown is on as I wonder how it took this long to make Paul an obnoxious heel.

We get a notification that Carmella….exists I guess. Liv Morgan is standing nearby and says “really”.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Sami Zayn

Dominik starts fast with the top rope armdrag but Zayn blasts him with a clothesline. There’s a running hurricanrana to send Zayn into the ropes but it’s too early for the 619. Zayn goes to leave but here’s Rey to cut him off in a hurry. Cue Rey Mysterio to keep Zayn from leaving and Dominik hits the big flip dive. Dominik wants Rey to leave and the distraction lets Zayn hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 2:04. The frustrations continue.

Naomi comes up to Sonya Deville to find out what she’s doing tonight. Sonya is on the phone though and tells Naomi to get with her next week. Maybe try asking before an hour and a half into the show?

Finn Balor wants to know what would have happened if he had not gotten hurt the night he won the Universal Title. Tonight, he gets to find out.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns

Balor is challenging, but here are the Usos to jump him before the bell. The big beatdown is on and Balor is left laying until the Street Profits come in to chase the Usos off. Reigns comes out for the match and we take a break. Back with Balor saying he can go so we get the Big Match Intros. Reigns is smart enough to throw Balor down onto the bad ribs to start as the ribs are banged up again. Balor tries to fight back but charges into an uppercut. A spinebuster plants him again and we take a break.

Back with Reigns missing the Superman Punch, allowing Balor to hit a Pele for a breather. Balor starts the comeback but gets sent outside to cut him off again. Reigns gets pulled down into the ring skirt though and Balor hammers away, including the big flip dive. They head back inside where the Coup de Grace misses, allowing Reigns to hit the Superman Punch for two. Balor is back up with 1916 for two of his own and the Coup de Grace connects for a VERY close two. The kickout includes a low blow and Reigns hammers away on the downed Balor, setting up the guillotine choke to retain at 10:31.

Rating: B-. There wasn’t the most drama here but the Coup de Grace near fall was quite good. They have an out for Balor with the Usos’ attack and that could set up the rematch. What we got here was good though and it felt like a main event, which is what they were shooting for with this one. Balor isn’t going to be hurt off a loss to Reigns, so it isn’t some career stopper for him either.

Post match Reigns and Heyman go to leave, but the lights flicker a bit. Reigns isn’t sure what that was to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another rather good Smackdown, though there were some problems throughout. The character stuff in Belair vs. Lynch is still pretty all over the place and they still didn’t set up anything for Extreme Rules. That being said, the action was good and the two hours flew by with a good main event. That’s about all you can ask for out of this show and it went pretty well.

Results
Street Profits b. Usos via DQ when Jey sent Ford into the post
Rick Boogs b. Dolph Ziggler – Pumphandle slam
Cesaro b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Rollins used a chair
Sami Zayn b. Dominik Mysterio – Helluva Kick
Roman Reigns b. Finn Balor – Guillotine choke

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2019 (Original): Time To Fight Monsters

Summerslam 2019
Date: August 11, 2019
Location: Scotiabank Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

This is finally the end of the parade of summer shows and we’re going out with not quite a bang. The card hasn’t felt the most interesting but that has been the case for a long time now. Since two matches were added to the Kickoff Show earlier in the day, we’re up to a nine match card, which isn’t the biggest lineup in the world. I’m not sure what to expect from the results but the level of interest has some work to do. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Drew Gulak vs. Oney Lorcan

Lorcan is challenging after earning the shot on Tuesday. Gulak dropkicks him in the corner to start and works on a wristlock before being shoved into a standoff. Lorcan does what he does best and chops away in the corner, only to get slammed legs first onto the ropes for two. Back from a break with Gulak holding a chinlock but Lorcan powers out again. The running Blockbuster gives Lorcan a break and they head outside with more chops keeping Gulak in trouble.

They head back inside with Gulak slapping on the Gulock out of nowhere but Lorcan gets a boot on the rope. The Cyclone Crash is broken up and it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. Gulak wins a slugout and slaps Lorcan in the back of the head over and over, setting up the Gulock but Lorcan backflips into a cradle for two. Lorcan is ticked off and grabs him by the face for some shots to the jaw. Gulak gets knocked into the ropes but grabs the ring skirt, with the distraction letting him get in a right hand to Lorcan’s throat. The Cyclone Crash retains the title at 8:46.

Rating: C+. There was something positive to be said about the intensity here as these two beat each other up for a few minutes. A title change never felt likely here as Gulak can be a long term champion and Lorcan isn’t the right choice to take the title from him, despite a hard hitting effort. This would have been fine as the only Kickoff Show match but since this is a big night, we need to go three times as long.

Kickoff Show: Buddy Murphy vs. Apollo Crews

Bonus match. Murphy hits him in the jaw for two to start and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. Crews fights up for a big collision off the double crossbody and they’re both down. Crews’ enziguri sends Murphy into the corner and the standing moonsault gets two. The gorilla press is broken up and Murphy hits a Cheeky Nandos kick, setting up the running powerbomb for two of his own. Crews grabs a rollup for a breather and Murphy rolls outside. A moonsault misses and Murphy sends him into the steps….and here’s Rowan to jump Murphy for the DQ at 5:41.

Rating: C-. Crews was just a means to an end here and that’s better than having him do something of note. The Rowan interference makes sense and is probably only half of what we’ll be seeing from the big Smackdown angle tonight. Murphy getting a spot in a story is nice, but they might want to let him get a win or two so people have a reason to care about him.

Post match Rowan destroys him while demanding that Murphy keep his name out of his mouth.

Here’s Elias for a song because we haven’t done that in at least a week. This time, the song is about how he knows he’s in Toronto, mainly because local sports teams aren’t great. Cue Edge of all people and in a pretty big surprise, he hits a spear to drop Elias. That’s it, but it was a cool moment.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

Cross and Bliss are defending after winning the titles on Monday. Bliss is dressed as Buzz Lightyear and Billie has a Maleficent headpiece. As Bliss points her arm laser at Peyton, Graves lists off every Toy Story reference that he can while threatening to drop his Bliss fan club card. Cross comes in to beat up Peyton, who gets in a blind tag so Billie can get in a cheap shot.

The chinlock goes on as I try to get my head around Bliss and Cross as faces, even for one night. A jawbreaker gets Cross out of trouble and it’s off to Bliss for Insult to Injury. Bliss stops to yell at Peyton and gets kicked in the face but Cross comes in to take care of Billie. Something close to a Widow’s Peak gives Peyton two, sending her into a panic. Bliss punches her in the face to calm her down and Twisted Bliss retains the titles at 6:11.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given episode of Raw but the Toy Story references made it so much more fun. Granted me being a die hard Disney fan might have a lot to do with that but why let it get in the way of a good time? Bliss and Cross aren’t likely to stay faces beyond one night, but it’s not like anything else with these titles makes sense anyway.

The opening video talks about how these moments don’t come around often and you have to seize them. Tonight is about showing the world who we are.

We recap Natalya vs. Becky Lynch. Natalya won a title shot in a four way (which went on for nearly half an hour and was a complete disaster) and then went all evil/witchy in a rather ridiculous twist. Now it’s a submission match with one hold against another.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

Becky is defending in a submission match. Natalya has a Canadian flag for reasons of sucking up to the crowd. Becky knocks her into the corner to start and fires off kicks to the ribs as Renee channels her inner Bobby Heenan by talking about how everyone has been talking about this match. An early cross armbreaker doesn’t do much good for Becky but she shifts to a triangle.

The referee accurately says Natalya getting to the rope means nothing so they roll to the floor with Becky being driven into the barricade. Some kicks to the leg have Becky in trouble and the fans are rather pleased with Natalya. A suplex sends the leg into the rope and Becky’s kick is blocked for another snap across the rope.

Natalya gets the Sharpshooter while sitting on the top rope for a change of pace, even though I don’t think it should count since Becky is halfway outside (which is different than a rope break). That’s broken up and they head outside with Becky sending her into the announcers’ table and then the apron. Back in and Natalya hits a superplex for the double knockdown.

Becky is up first and grabs a Sharpshooter, because that’s how you get heel heat in Canada. Natalya kicks her into the corner for the break and grabs the Disarm-Her. With that not working, Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter but Becky crawls underneath the bottom rope. Back in and Becky reverses another Sharpshooter attempt into the Disarm-Her to retain at 12:25.

Rating: B. I was worried they might change the title there so it was quite the relief at the end. I’m over the stealing the Sharpshooter in Canada spot but it’s something you just have to expect. The problem now is who Becky faces next, because she’s pretty much out of competition on Raw, unless they let Bliss try to be a double champion. The match was the usual well put together Natalya performance but her lack of charisma is still staggering.

Trish Stratus is nervous and excited but she’s a Hall of Famer for a reason and thrives on pressure. The hardest part has been the waiting because she wants to prove to Charlotte that the older generation still has it. If Charlotte is the Queen, she is the Queen of Queens.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Goldberg. Ziggler has decided that legends are taking too much time as of late and superkicked Shawn Michaels. This was treated as a horrible moment so Miz signed to face Ziggler….tomorrow on Raw. Ziggler signed the contract without reading it and gets to face Goldberg here instead. Goldberg not having the best reputation in Toronto back in the day is just a detail that WWE doesn’t care about.

Goldberg vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Ziggler says he’s the best thing in wrestling today and is about to prove why legends are worthless. Goldberg’s entrance is politely received at best, though the chants do start at the bell. A superkick gives Ziggler an early one and then another one but Goldberg hits the huge spear (with Ziggler doing the over the top sell that everyone was hoping for). The Jackhammer finishes Ziggler at 2:10.

Post match Ziggler says that was like getting hit by a baby and Goldberg doesn’t have the guts to fight him man to man. Goldberg comes back down and spears him again, Ziggler runs his mouth again and gets speared again.

Big E. and Xavier Woods fire Kofi Kingston up and bring him a surprise: Drake…..Maverick. Kofi isn’t amused so he turns it into his usual fired up promo.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Ricochet for the US Title. Ricochet won the title from Samoa Joe and then defended it against Styles. AJ lost, sending him to a heel turn and reunification with the OC, who helped him win the title. Tonight is Ricochet’s rematch.

During the entrances, we get the international row of announcers, complete with R-Truth and Carmella included in disguise as the…..Australian Canadians?

US Title: Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending and has the OC with him. Ricochet is in a full body suit, complete with gloves (I believe it’s Nightwing inspired). They start fast with Ricochet sending him outside and walking over the OC’s shoulders for a running hurricanrana. Back in and AJ gets him tied up in the corner to take over with Ricochet banging up his knee. The leg holds and twisting begin but Ricochet is back with a spinning kick to the face.

Ricochet gets to the apron for a springboard and since he’s Ricochet, uses one leg for a clothesline. The running shooting star gives Ricochet two but AJ knocks him off the apron for a baseball slide. Back in and the fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Ricochet manages an enziguri for two. The knee gives out again so AJ goes for the Calf Crusher, which is reversed into an Anaconda Vice of all things.

With that broken up, Ricochet manages a twisting suplex for two but has to take out the OC. That’s fine with Ricochet, who knocks AJ off the top and, after kicking Anderson away, tries a Phoenix splash to the standing Styles. That’s not the best idea though as AJ catches it in the Styles Clash to retain at 11:57 (that was a great looking finish).

Rating: B. Ricochet is a fascinating case as he does stuff that is ridiculous but makes it believable because of who he is. That spot with the one legged springboard just made me shake my head because of course he can do that. It just makes sense and that’s not something that should work, but it just kind of does. I’m sure we’ll get some kind of a gimmick rematch at Clash of Champions and that should be fine with everyone.

Post match AJ sends the OC after Ricochet, meaning this feud must continue.

The Street Profits are fired up with Dawkins taking his shot at hitting on Nikki Cross. That’s broken up by a Ric Flair appearance, with the Profits being in awe. Flair and the Profits fitting together like a glove is both bizarre and completely appropriate at the same time.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Ember Moon vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending with Moon being her handpicked opponent. Bayley takes her down to start and grabs a headlock but Ember starts in on the back. A seated bow and arrow has Bayley in trouble but Ember misses the springboard spinning crossbody. Bayley gets two each off a clothesline and superplex as they’re still going pretty slowly. Ember sends her to the apron but a charge is caught in a front facelock. The twisting Stunner rocks Ember again and the Tree of Woe elbow gets two.

Bayley goes Chicago with the Billy Goat’s Curse until Ember hits her in the knee for a break. A trip to the floor lets Ember load up the suicide dive, which is blocked with a forearm. Back in and Ember hits a super hurricanrana into a powerbomb spun into a Codebreaker (or close enough to one) for two more. Ember’s powerbomb gets another near fall but Bayley is smart enough to charge at the corner before the Eclipse. That means a super Bayley to Belly to retain at 10:04.

Rating: D+. This was just disappointing and felt like a bad Smackdown match instead of something that belonged on Summerslam. There was no reason for them to be fighting other than one challenged the other and that showed here. All of the mind games from the previous weeks were forgotten and it was just a bunch of moves back and forth with Ember showing some fire. Bayley just isn’t the most interesting champion and this showed the flaws badly.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon. Shane is on another power trip and Owens is standing up for everyone who is sick of him. Tonight it’s Owens’ career vs. nothing, because Shane is smart enough to not put anything on the line.

Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens

Owens’ career is on the line. Hang on though as Shane brings out Elias as the special enforcer to ensure fairness. The chase is on early, with Elias offering a distraction for a near countout. They head outside again with Elias getting in Owens’ face again, nearly causing a DQ because Elias is an official.

Back in and Owens hits the Cannonball but another Elias distraction lets Shane strike away in the corner. The fans tell Shane that he sucks as he hits some jumping knees and a Russian legsweep for two. A DDT gets the same and Shane strikes a Bret Hart pose (Velveteen Dream did it better last night and LET’S TRY THAT SHARPSHOOTER! That’s countered into a sitout powerbomb but Elias’ latest distraction means no count.

Elias throws in the chair of temptation with Shane offering Owens a free shot. Shane slaps him but Owens still won’t bite so Shane hits Elias by mistake. A superkick into the Swanton into the frog splash but Elias pulls the referee out. Owens bumps both of them and unloads on Elias with the chair to get rid of him. Back in and the referee sees Owens nearly hit Shane with the chair but doesn’t see Owens kick Shane low. The Stunner gives Kevin the pin at 9:29.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t very good but egads it’s nice to not have to worry about Shane dominating a show or beating a former World Champion every time he’s out there. They seem to have finally figured out that the super push was a bad idea and finally pulled the plug, though you can almost guarantee a rematch, maybe even inside the Cell.

We recap the attacks on Roman Reigns, plus Rowan being named as the attacker.

We look at Rowan attacking Buddy Murphy on the Kickoff Show.

Charlotte vs. Trish Stratus

The best of this generation vs. the best of the previous generation. The fans are behind Trish of course and sing O Canada for her as Charlotte powers things into the corner to start. A way too early Stratusfaction attempt doesn’t work so Trish switches to a springboard hurricanrana instead. Charlotte goes for the leg so Trish kicks her into the corner to start some confusion.

They head outside with Trish hammering away (Fan: “I am very Stratusfied right now!”) but Charlotte sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed by Trish’s neck being bent around the rope. Charlotte tries a belly to back suplex, which is reversed into a crossbody for two.

That just ticks Charlotte off so she….adjusts her boot. Charlotte misses the moonsault and gets caught with a facebuster and some chops. Trish charges into a boot in the corner so Charlotte goes up. You don’t do that to Trish who tries the Stratusphere, which is caught in a powerbomb, which is reversed into a super hurricanrana.

Just to mess with Charlotte, Trish grabs the Figure Four and even bridges into the Figure Eight for some good humiliation. A rope is grabbed but Trish posts her and gets two off Stratusfaction. Charlotte is livid and says this is hers as they chop it out. The Chick Kick gets two but Charlotte takes her down into the Figure Four. The Figure Eight makes Trish tap at 16:41.

Rating: B. Probably the match of the night so far with the very good storytelling as Trish tried to turn back the clock but just couldn’t overcome Charlotte. They started slowly as Trish shook off the rust and eventually got back to where she could hang, but it just wasn’t enough in the end. It lived up to the hype as well as it could have and was the first match of the night that felt like it belonged on a major show.

Trish gets the hero’s sendoff, as she should.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston. Kofi has finally gotten his chance at the top of the company, ten years after Orton held him down before. Orton says he sees Kofi as a fluke and is ready to take his title back. This has been the best part of the build so far because they’ve nailed the story by making you feel for Kofi having to work so hard getting here. Orton is trying and that makes him one of the better performers around.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Kofi is defending. They yell at each other to start with Kofi getting fired up early on. Kofi knocks him into the corner but Orton begs off in a heelish move. A shove sends Kofi outside and Orton sends him into the announcers’ table before taking it back inside for some hair pulling on the ropes.

An uppercut puts Kofi on the floor but he dives off the steps to knock Orton down for a change. Orton is right back up with a drop onto the announcers’ table as the fans are split again. Back in and Orton slowly hammers away but a top rope superplex is broken up. That lets Kofi hit a tornado DDT and they’re both down for a bit. Kofi’s dropkick knocks Orton down but Orton does the same to the champ.

The elevated DDT is backdropped to the floor and Kofi hits the big dive. Back in and a high crossbody gives Kofi two but the second elevated DDT attempt connects. Orton takes too long to go for the RKO and has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi goes up but dives into the RKO….for no cover. Instead Kofi rolls outside in front of his family so Orton glares at them. Kofi snaps and beats the fire out of him as it’s a…..it could be a DQ or a double countout actually, though either one takes place at 16:24.

Rating: B-. This was rather slow paced and it made the ending didn’t do it any favors. Next up is likely a hardcore based rematch at Clash of Champions and that should be fine. Kingston doesn’t have much high level competition so having Orton win the title would make some sense. It might not be the most thrilling, but Orton hasn’t held the thing in years and is fine for a transitional champion.

Post match Kofi unloads with a kendo stick and hits Trouble in Paradise as Graves talks about Kofi’s greatest weakness being exposed.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor. Bray has been out of the ring for about a year now but has been releasing Firefly Fun House videos, showing that he now has a split personality. The evil side is called the Fiend and attacked Balor, who demanded the match. Normal Wyatt warned him against this as the Fiend is hard to control.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Finn is all in white and Bray…..has a lantern with a man’s head around it and the light in the mouth. Broken Out In Love is now sung by a group of women and is even creepier than before. Bray, in the Fiend mask, runs Finn over to start as we get a YOWIE WOWIE chant. A clothesline to the back of the head sets up a neck twist and there’s the release Rock Bottom. Bray looks conflicted and tries Sister Abigail but the delay lets Finn hit a Sling Blade. The comeback is on but the Coup de Grace is countered into the Mandible Claw to give Bray the win at 3:29. That was a great ending with Balor just going limp to end it.

Rating: C+. The match was a squash but the presentation was a complete home run as Wyatt felt like a monster and something other worldy ala the Undertaker the original Mankind. That’s the kind of thing you only get once in a good while and Wyatt nailed it here. Keep this up and you’ve got a special monster on your hands for a very, very long time.

Post match the lights go out and Bray laughs, before we see a closeup of the Fiend. The lights come back up and he’s gone as Balor doesn’t know what hit him.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins. Seth beat him for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania but then Lesnar won Money in the Bank and took the title back at Extreme Rules. Since then, Lesnar has annihilated Rollins and injured him pretty badly, but Seth is willing to fight anyway because he wants his title back.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and he gets PYRO. Brock goes straight for the taped up ribs to start and hits the shoulders in the corner. The German suplex is escaped and the Stomp gets an early two. Brock bails to the floor so Seth hits a running knee from the apron. Back in and Seth flips out of another German suplex. Two superkicks look to set up the Stomp but Brock reverses into the F5 for no cover.

Brock swings him around by the rib tape and declares it punishment time, meaning it’s time to roll some German suplexes. They head outside with Brock hitting another suplex on the floor. Rollins manages to post him a few times and a springboard knee to the head connects. The top rope version misses and Brock hits the release German suplex. Heyman looking so happy is a great bonus.

The gloves come off and a waistlock goes on for a bit. Lesnar’s charge hits the post though and Seth kicks him to the floor. Two suicide dives connects but the third is caught for a hard ram to send Rollins into the post. Lesnar can’t follow up though and Seth knocks him onto the table, setting up the huge frog splash through it for the big crash. Back in and Rollins hits a top rope splash for two more, followed by the Stomp for the same. Another Stomp gives Rollins the title back at 13:26.

Rating: B-. Well I’m rather surprised. Having no titles changing hands until the ending was a bit of a tell tale sign, but I’m certainly not going to say that this is it for Lesnar. WWE likes going with this same idea far too often and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’ll take Rollins as champion over Lesnar though, just for the sake of having a chance of something fresh.

Rollins celebrates, with more pyro, to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The ending helped but it was one of only a few things that felt memorable about the whole show. Charlotte vs. Trish felt like a dream match, the Fiend is one of the best debuts I can remember and then you have the title change. Other than that, it was a rather lackluster show without much in the way of memorable moments. It’s not a terrible show but it’s one that people aren’t going to remember beyond a few more days. That shouldn’t be the case for Summerslam but maybe now we can move fully into the new era, which sounds like a very good idea after a long summer.

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2018 (Original): This Time For Sure!

Summerslam 2018
Date: August 19, 2018
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the second biggest show of the year (I think) and that means we’re in for a stacked card. The big matches include Roman Reigns challenging Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title, AJ Styles defending the WWE Championship against Samoa Joe and, in the match that I think should close the show, Daniel Bryan vs. the Miz. Tonight has some promise so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Zelina Vega/Andrade Cien Almas vs. Rusev/Lana

Thankfully they waited a little longer before starting the first match this year, allowing some more fans to get into the arena. Last year was embarrassing looking but it’s a little better this time. The men start and it’s an early double tranquillo pose, earning Almas and Vega some Bulgarian roaring. We settle down to a RUSEV DAY chant and Rusev hitting a suplex. A missed charge sends Rusev shoulder first into the post and it’s an armbar to send us to a break.

Back with Almas getting two off a reverse tornado DDT. A second attempt is countered with a shove off the top and the hot tag brings in Lana. Vega has to come in as well and Lana kicks her down, setting up a Spinarooni of all things. A kick to the face cuts Vega off again but Lana stops to slap Almas, allowing Vega to roll her up for the pin at 6:55. They botched that one pretty badly as Vega was supposed to put her feet on the ropes but she’s so short that they couldn’t reach. Lana was barely struggling either and it didn’t look good.

Rating: D. I was really disappointed here as this could have been something very fun. What we got was a short match between the guys and then a bare bones match from the women. I don’t know if the stage got to Lana or what but this was the bad match that a lot of people have expected her to have. The finish was even worse though and made the match feel like a joke.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak is challenging and everyone else is banned from ringside. Alexander has held the title since Wrestlemania and Gulak has been on a roll, making everyone tap out. Gulak takes him to the mat and then into the corner to start but it’s way too early for the Gulock (dragon sleeper). Instead Alexander rolls out and dropkicks Gulak down so it’s time to go to the floor. Back in and Alexander’s springboard is blocked with a big boot, followed by a neckbreaker onto the knee.

We take a break and come back with Gulak staying on the neck with a clothesline for two. Gulak cranks on the neck but Alexander is right back up with a bottom rope springboard Downward Spiral. Some right hands keep Gulak in trouble and Cedric followed him to the floor with a big flip dive.

Back in and Alexander catches him on the ropes, setting up a short form Gulock to really mess with the neck. A spinning elbow to the jaw gets Cedric out of trouble for the time being but Gulak smacks him in the face. Gulak reverses the Neuralizer into an ankle lock but gets reversed into a cradle. Back up and Cedric hits the C4 but Gulak turns it over into a rollup for two more. Another rollup gives Gulak two but that’s reversed into a stacked up rollup for the pin on Gulak at 10:42.

Rating: C+. They had a hot finish here with the rollups and I was actually surprised by the finish. That being said, I’m not wild on having Alexander keep the title and would have bet on Gulak picking up the belt here. There’s not much of a reason to keep the title on Alexander as he’s far from the most interesting guy in the world. At least the match was pretty good though.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. B Team

The B Team is defending and get taken down in the very early on with a dragon screw leg whip to Dallas. A Shatter Machine puts the illegal Axel down as well and it’s Dawson starting on in Dallas’ knee. Back from a break with Wilder staying on the knee and handing it back to Dawson, who gets kicked shoulder first into the post. Axel is still down from the Shatter Machine though and there’s no hot tag to be had.

Dallas’ knee is fine enough for the hanging swinging neckbreaker and now the hot tag brings Axel in. Axel cleans house and loads up the PerfectPlex but gets small packaged. The referee is with Dallas and Wilder though until Wilder snaps Dallas across the top. Dallas falls onto Axel and Wilder to turn the small package over for the pin on Dawson at 6:14.

Rating: D+. How can you not at least chuckle at these two schmucks? They’ve embraced the clueless putz characters and that’s all you can ask for. As ridiculous as they are, it’s not like the Raw tag division has anything else going on. Revival is a great team, but that doesn’t matter if they can’t get more than five minutes and a bunch of nothing opponents. This was the right call, which is better than I was expecting.

By the way, the total wrestling time on this year’s Kickoff Show: about 24 minutes, or just over half of last year’s. That’s a BIG improvement as there’s no need to have so much wrestling on a bonus feature before we get to the four hour pay per view.

The opening video features actor Terry Crews outside the arena, rhyming about what it means to be the best on the big stage. This was released earlier in the week.

There’s a big digital Empire State Building over the ring. That isn’t likely visible in the arena.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is defending and has Drew McIntyre in his corner while Rollins has the freshly returned Dean Ambrose in his. The fans are very hot for Rollins here, especially BURN IT DOWN. Feeling out process to start with Seth being driven into the ropes but Dean is right there to cut Drew off. Back up and they run the ropes with Rollins nailing a hiptoss, sending Ziggler outside for a breather.

Seth follows him and it’s time for another big staredown. Rollins gets sent to the apron but stops to stare at Drew, allowing Ziggler to grab two off a neckbreaker. With Rollins seeming to favor his knee, Ziggler talks trash to Ambrose and then sends Rollins into the corner for a Flair Flip to the floor. Back in and the chinlock keeps Rollins in trouble for a good while. The comeback is cut off as Rollins grabs a vertical suplex over the top, only to fall out with Ziggler for a big crash.

Rollins hits a Sling Blade for two back inside and the middle rope Blockbuster gets two more. Ziggler rolls away from the threat of the frog splash so Rollins hits him with the suicide dive. The springboard clothesline sets up the ripcord knee for two and they’re both down for a minute. Ziggler’s sleeper is thrown off so they head to the apron with Ziggler saying this is it. Rollins gets shoved into the post and a jumping DDT drives him head first into the apron. That’s only good for a nine count as Rollins comes back in for the low superkick.

The frog splash hits knees though and Ziggler rolls him up for two more. Ziggler heads up top but Rollins is right there for a reverse superplex into a reverse inverted DDT (now that’s how you mix it up) and a near fall of his own. McIntyre sends Dean into the steps though, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag for the nearest fall yet. Dean is back up with Dirty Deeds to McIntyre and the bloody Rollins to avoid the superkick. The Stomp gives Rollins the title back at 22:01.

Rating: B. I know it won’t be, but I really could go for this feud ending already. It started a little over two months ago and feels like it’s been going on for a year now. At least Rollins has the title back and that’s all well and good, especially with the prospects of Ziggler and McIntyre being able to split up for good now. If nothing else, it’s nice to start the show with a good, long match for a change after last year took forever to get going.

The Bellas are here and are asked about their chances of appearing at Evolution. It turns into a list of plugs for their various projects before Nikki says they want to see Ronda Rousey win the Raw Women’s Title tonight. They’ll be ringside for the match tonight. And so it begins.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Bludgeon Brothers vs. New Day

New Day, Big E. and Xavier Woods here, are challenging after having won a tournament. Rowan runs Woods over to start and gets two each off a big boot and splash. It’s off to the fists around the head crush, followed by a pumphandle backbreaker to keep Woods down. Woods finally kicks Harper to the floor and makes the hot tag to Big E., who drops to the floor to throw some suplexes.

Back in and the Warrior Splash gets two on Harper, who comes right back with the Michinoku Driver. The double spinebuster doesn’t work though and Woods dives over the top onto Rowan. Everything breaks down and Big E. is sent into the steps, though the Brothers look a little banged up. They’re fine enough to hit the double spinebuster for two on Big E. with Woods making the save and getting the tag. Kofi gets taken down so Rowan eats the Big Ending on the floor.

A blind tag brings in Big E. but Harper stuns him with a superkick on the apron. Big E. tries the release Rock Bottom off the apron into the Codebreaker from Woods but the timing is off and it’s more like Harper just landing on Woods. Harper is fine enough to roll away from Woods’ top rope elbow so Woods hits it on the floor instead. The pain is immense but Woods throws him back in for the tag to Big E. UpUpDownDown is imminent but Rowan uses the mallet for the DQ at 9:36.

Rating: C+. They were getting somewhere before the ending to set up a rematch either on Smackdown or in the Cell. It’s a good idea to make the Brothers seem vulnerable against a top team like New Day, who couldn’t quite finish them off. At the moment the Smackdown tag team division is all of four teams so it’s a good idea to not change the titles just yet, along with keeping this match going for another month. Nice match, with an understandable ending.

Jon Stewart is here.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens, which started back in June. Strowman threw him off a ladder at Money in the Bank and then won the briefcase, so Owens tried to be nice to him. Then Strowman destroyed his car, threw him in a portable toilet and off of a cage, meaning it’s time for a rematch with the briefcase on the line.

Money in the Bank Briefcase: Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and can lose the briefcase by any means. The bell rings and Owens is knocked into the corner a few seconds later, followed by the run around the floor to shoulder him down. Strowman has so much fun that he does it again and a superkick just annoys him. A chokeslam onto the ramp knocks Owens silly and the running powerslam ends him at 1:56. Total and complete squash.

There was a Be A Star rally earlier in the week.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match. Becky Lynch beat Carmella to earn a spot but then Charlotte returned and did the same thing, earning her own shot. Charlotte and Becky then got in a bit of a passive aggressive fight over Becky being jealous of Charlotte being added. Fair enough, but WWE loves itself some triple threats.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Carmella vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Carmella is defending and gets double teamed to start. In a smart move, she slaps Becky in the back of the head and blames Charlotte. The wedge doesn’t last long as Becky hiptosses Carmella to the floor and tries an early Disarm-Her on Charlotte. That goes nowhere as Charlotte escapes but gets pulled to the floor. Carmella sends Becky into the steps and reminds us that she is in fact the champion.

Back in and we hit the chinlock on Charlotte for a good while as Graves sings the champ’s praises. Becky has to be knocked off the apron, allowing Charlotte to start her comeback with the chops. Some suplexes make it even worse but Becky is back in with a double missile dropkick. Charlotte gets knocked outside and there’s the Bexploder to the champ. She crotches Becky on top though and gets two off a loose super hurricanrana. Charlotte comes back in with a spear to take them both down for two each and grabs a Walls of Jericho of all things on Carmella.

The Figure Four goes on instead but Becky makes the save with a guillotine legdrop. Carmella is back up and sends Becky outside for a suicide dive, only to have Charlotte miss the corkscrew moonsault (she slapped Carmella and completely missed Becky) to put them bot down. Back in and Carmella has to break up the Disarm-Her, followed by a superkick for two on Becky. Charlotte gets knocked to the floor and the Disarm-Her goes on, only to have Carmella grab the rope. The hold is slapped on again but Charlotte runs in with Natural Selection to Becky for the pin and the title at 14:35.

Rating: C+. Much better than I was expecting here and they better turn Becky heel after that ending. Thankfully they took the title off of Carmella, but at this point either she or Charlotte has been champion since November. They need some fresh blood in there, which hopefully is a ticked off Lynch.

Post match Carmella leaves so Becky and Charlotte can hug, only for Becky to turn on Charlotte and beat the fire out of her to a HUGE YES chant. Becky throws her over the table, leaving Charlotte to take a YOU DESERVE IT chant. That was the only way to go as A, Becky has a legitimate complaint about Charlotte being put into the match and stealing her title and B, there isn’t anyone else for Charlotte to fight.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles has been champion since November, becoming the longest reigning World Champion in Smackdown history. Joe signed the contract to face him, partially because there was no one left aside from maybe Miz. After the match was set, Joe started talking about how AJ was sacrificing his family to be champion. AJ tried to keep things calm, but Joe read a letter supposedly from AJ’s wife Wendy, saying Joe was completely right. In other words, AJ isn’t happy.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is challenging and even introduces AJ’s wife and daughter at ringside. It’s a feeling out process to start as AJ is a little more calm than (erg, especially after Joe’s comments) he should be here, even as the fans chant TNA. AJ grabs a headlock to slow Joe down but a heavy shoulder cuts him off. Some leg kicks have AJ in even more trouble but he’s right back with some forearms. The sliding forearm sends Joe outside and AJ tries to follow him, only to get kicked in the knee to take him off the apron.

A hard suicide dive sends AJ into the announcers’ table and one heck of a clothesline takes his head off back inside. We hit the chinlock, which makes you wonder why Joe doesn’t turn around just a hair and make it the Koquina Clutch instead. AJ gets up and knocks Joe’s block off with a right hand to the floor, followed by the slingshot forearm. Joe charges into an enziguri and the Phenomenal Blitz sets up another running forearm. The moonsault into a reverse DDT gets two on Joe and AJ puts him on top.

That doesn’t go well for the champ, who gets shoved down for a middle rope knee to a standing AJ for two more. The running big boot into the backsplash gets the same but AJ is right back with the fireman’s carry backbreaker. AJ is limping a bit and misses the Phenomenal Forearm, allowing Joe to snap him over with the powerslam for two more. A one armed Styles Clash gives AJ the same and they’re both down. Back up and they slug the heck out of it until a Pele sends Joe into the corner.

AJ makes the mistake of charging into the release Rock Bottom but is still able to put on the Calf Crusher. Joe’s solution: slam AJ’s head into the mat over and over. Joe slips over into the Koquina Clutch but AJ gets his foot on the ropes. It’s Muscle Buster time but AJ forearms him in the head. That’s fine with Joe, who hits one of the loudest enziguris I’ve ever heard to knock AJ outside. Joe sends him into the steps and grabs the mic. He tells Wendy that AJ isn’t coming home but he’ll be her new daddy. A suddenly bloody AJ tackles Joe off the table and through the barricade, followed by a chair to the back for the DQ at 22:46.

Rating: A-. You have to imagine that the Cell awaits these two and for once, the story would seem to fit that. AJ being able to do whatever he wants to Joe fits, but it would also seem to play much more into Joe’s hands. Anyway, of course these two had a great match because that’s all they know how to do. They were beating the fire out of each other and I want to see it again, which is the sign of a well done match. Really good stuff here, as expected.

Post match the beating continues until Wendy says that’s enough. AJ goes over to his family and his incredibly cute daughter says “daddy you’re bleeding”. AJ apologizes and hugs her before walking away with his family. Joe is TICKED as he leaves.

Here’s Elias to plug his album and talk about how awesome his songs are. He even has a new song, which he’s debuting right here in New York City. And then his guitar breaks. That’s too much for Elias, who throws the pieces around and storms off without saying anything.

Miz runs into the B Team and says if Bryan had followed his example, he might have lived off of Miz’s success like they had. For old times sake, they can fetch his limo for the celebration after. Actually they have their own celebrating to do because they’re the B Team and the B stands for Daniel Bryan. Dallas likes Miz and Mrs. (which he pronounces Mers) but they have their own show: Total Fellas. Dallas: “But with a B! Total Bellas!” Miz is stupefied as they leave.

We recap the Miz vs. Daniel Bryan. This one is over eight years in the making as Bryan came into WWE as Miz’s NXT rookie, despite being a top independent star. Bryan eventually defeated Miz a few times but they went on their own paths. Miz won a WWE Title while Bryan became the top star in the company, only to have injuries take him away for a few years. Now he’s back and healthy though, meaning it’s time for these two to FINALLY have the big match on the grand stage.

They’ve done a great job of setting up the culture clash here as Bryan is all about the love of wrestling and Miz is about becoming a star. Those worlds don’t jive and it’s made their feud that much better. The crowd reaction should be interesting, though Bryan is going to be the biggest face that ever faced around here.

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Maryse is in the front row with a baby carriage. Miz hides in the corner for a bit before scoring with some YES Kicks. The running dropkick connects but Bryan grabs him by the throat and hammers away. The real YES Kicks rock Miz and a big one to the chest puts him down. Miz gets in a knee to the ribs and the surfboard goes on. Of course Bryan knows how to get out of that and starts kicking at Miz’s legs.

The REAL surfboard goes on and Bryan even bends back to get two off a bridge. Back up and Miz catches him with a hard clothesline, followed by a cravate with bonus trash talk. Miz starts firing off some knees to the head but Bryan is right back with right hands of his own. The moonsault over Miz sets up the running clothesline and the running corner dropkicks connect. A backdrop sends Miz to the floor and Bryan follows with two boots through the ropes and a top rope clothesline.

Back in and Miz gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which of course means more YES Kicks. One heck of a top rope belly to back suplex puts Miz down for two more but he’s right back with the short DDT. With Miz’s chest blood red, he fires off some NO Kicks of his own, which bring Bryan back to his feet. Bryan dragon screw whips Miz’s leg and hits the big kick to the head but can’t get the YES Lock. Instead a catapult into the post sets up the Skull Crushing Finale for two but Miz charges into another kick for another two.

They head to the apron with Bryan firing off kicks until the last one hits the post. That means a Figure Four back inside and Bryan is in big trouble. As usual, the solution is to punch Miz in the face and then turn the hold over. Miz lets it go and tries the Finale but Bryan kicks him in the back (the leg shouldn’t be able to do that) and goes with the heavy elbows to the head.

The YES Lock goes on and Bryan punches Miz in the back of the head as the aggression continues to come out. Miz makes the rope though and bails to the floor, only to get kneed in the head. That knocks Miz right in front of Maryse, who hands him something. Whatever it is knocks Bryan silly when he tries a suicide dive, giving Miz the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B+. I liked this one as much as I expected to and the ending does set up a rematch. You have to imagine that Bryan is sticking around given that finish as there’s a wide open door for the feud to continue. It was a nice, long match and got the attention that it deserved, but it didn’t feel like the final match throughout. The ending takes care of that though and everything is fine.

Replays confirm the object, with Graves going into full Bobby Heenan mode to talk his way around the cheating.

Video on Undertaker vs. HHH for Super Show-Down in their final match. To be fair they haven’t been ridiculous with the plugging tonight.

Baron Corbin vs. Finn Balor

THE DEMON IS BACK! FOR THIS MATCH??? This is the rubber match after Corbin started being mean to Balor for being small. It’s been a horrible story but the Demon makes up for some of it. Cole gets his Demon history wrong, saying it last appeared two years ago. It was last year Cole. You called the match.

The fans are VERY pleased and Corbin is told he has to face him. The bell rings and it’s the shotgun dropkick into the Sling Blade to put Baron on the floor in the smoke. Balor adds a flip dive and it’s another Sling Blade on the floor. Back in and Balor hits a top rope double stomp to the back, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin at 1:29. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

Bryan is ticked off when Brie finally remembers that they’re married and comes in to see him in his moment of need. He calls his comeback a bust but she gives him a pep talk which seems to work well enough.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jeff Hardy

Nakamura is defending after taking the title from Hardy last month. Feeling out process to start and of course Nakamura is over like free beer in a frat house in New York. Nakamura dodges a few early shots and tells him to COME ON. Jeff does exactly the same and sends Nakamura into four buckles in a row. That earns him a quick takedown and Nakamura slaps on a chinlock.

Nakamura hammers on him a bit more until Hardy, to the tune of a BROTHER NERO chant, comes back up with a Sling Blade. An atomic drop sets up the legdrop between the legs and a basement dropkick gets two. Jeff slips out of the reverse exploder but the slingshot dropkick is countered into Nakamura sitting him on the top. The running knee misses though and Jeff gets two off a Whisper in the Wind.

Nakamura is fine enough to catch him with another kick to the head, followed by the sliding knee for two. Kinshasa is countered into a failed Twist of Fate attempt but Hardy is ready for the low blow. Now the Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton Bomb for a delayed two as Nakamura grabs the bottom rope. A second Twist of Fate sends Nakamura bailing to the apron, so Jeff climbs the post and Swantons the apron because he’s that freaking crazy. Back in and the Kinshasa finishes whatever is left of Hardy at 10:55.

Rating: C. I have no idea how Hardy is still walking and I don’t think he does either most of the time. The match was fine enough and Hardy gave it a run but Nakamura needed this way more than Hardy did. If nothing else Hardy already has Randy Orton sitting around for their big pay per view match so the loss was the only option here. Not a bad match, but nothing great, especially on a long shot.

Post match Orton comes out, smacks himself in the head, and leaves without even getting in the ring. Ok then.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Alexa Bliss. Rousey was about to win the Raw Women’s Title last month but Bliss interfered for a DQ and cashed in her briefcase to win the title. Bliss then made Rousey snap and got her suspended for a month. Rousey’s reward: a match for the title tonight.

Raw Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Alexa Bliss

Rousey is challenging and before the match, here’s Natalya in the same jacket her dad wore at Summerslam 1990. Bliss comes out and sneers at the Bella Twins, who are sitting in the front row. Rousey now has eye paint and her name on her shorts as she does the power walk to the ring. Bliss hides in the corner to start (smart) and a single right hand puts her on the floor. More stalling ensues so Rousey even turns her back and sits down so Bliss can come in with no problem.

Rousey closes her eyes and Bliss grabs a chinlock, meaning it’s time for the scary Ronda face. The hold is broken (Bliss: “No no no no no!” Rousey: “YES!”) and there’s the swinging Samoan drop. A chase lets Bliss get in a forearm and Rousey is just made angrier. Bliss gets flipped on her face and Rousey unloads in the corner, followed by some judo throws. Another swinging Samoan drop (Rousey: “ARE YOU READY???”) connects and it’s armbar time. The arm is twisted in a variety of angles (including Bliss popping it in and out of joint) and one hard crank makes Bliss tap at 4:39.

Rating: C+. What do you want me to say? That was exactly what it should have been as Rousey should be able to destroy Bliss in short order. I’m not sure who is supposed to take the title off of Rousey, but if she can hold it until Wrestlemania (which she likely will), there’s a heck of a dream match to be had with Charlotte. Total squash here and, again, Rousey looked like she’s been doing this for years.

Post match Natalya comes in for the celebration and the Bellas join them because reasons. Rousey goes into the crowd and kisses her husband for the nice moment.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns (again). As is usually the case, Reigns is whining about how Lesnar is lazy and doesn’t like the fans so he should get another title shot. Also as usual, the fans don’t seem to buy it and Reigns isn’t likely to be cheered here. There are a few options for the finish and that makes the ending a little more interesting than usual.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending and gets no reaction (That HAD to be muted. No New York crowd has ever been that quiet). Hang on though as here’s Strowman with the briefcase. He’s not cashing in behind anyone’s back because he’ll be waiting on the winner. The bell rings and Reigns hits two Superman Punches and a pair of spears but the third is countered into a guillotine choke. That’s broken up with a spinebuster but Lesnar puts it right back on.

Another spinebuster breaks the hold again and they’re both down. Lesnar takes his gloves off and it’s Suplex City time. Three straight German suplexes draw a YOU BOTH SUCK chant and Reigns can barely stand. Reigns is back up with a missed charge that hits Strowman so Lesnar goes outside and gives Braun an F5 on the floor. With Reigns back in, Lesnar beats on Strowman with the briefcase, which he then throws from ringside all the way to the entrance, breaking part of the LED board. Strowman gets chaired down but Lesnar walks into a spear to make Reigns champion at 6:16.

Rating: C+. I know they repeat moves and I know the ending isn’t the most popular move in the world, but these two know how to make the matches feel big. I was wanting to see what happened and that’s more than you can say about a lot of matches. Reigns finally getting rid of Lesnar is a good thing, but I really wish they would just get rid of the briefcase already so it doesn’t have to be around.

Reigns poses to end the show with no cash-in.

Overall Rating: A-. That was a heck of a show and above all else it was about the pacing. They did a GREAT job of making this show stay at a steady pace with some hot matches and then a quick match to let the fans get back into it. That took place throughout the night and did wonders for the show, which never felt like it dragged. Compare this to Wrestlemania, which felt like it dragged every few minutes.

On top of that, the wrestling was solid all night long with good to very good wrestling, logical booking decisions and stuff being set up for the future. This was a very entertaining night and notice the crowd not taking the show over at all. That’s a nice change of pace and made the evening that much more enjoyable. Really good stuff here and the best WWE pay per view in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2017 (Original): Hoss Fight Summer

Summerslam 2017
Date: August 20, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s finally time for one of the biggest shows of the year as WWE takes over New York City all over again. This time around the big main event is a four way for the Universal Title with Brock Lesnar defending against Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman and Samoa Joe. The rest of the card is too deep to break down in short order so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan vs. Miz/Miztourage

The idea here is that Miz wants to be defending his Intercontinental Title against Jason Jordan but is stuck in this for reasons that aren’t clear. The section opposite the hard camera is MAYBE ten percent full because we’re about an hour and a half away from the start of the pay per view.

Jeff takes Axel into the corner to start and hands it off to Jordan to work on the arm. Dallas comes in and gets the same treatment, sending the Miztourage outside for a breather as we take a break (with empty sections of seats being shown on camera). Back with Jeff in trouble with Miz hammering away and working on the arm.

Matt comes in and throws some right hands but the Twist of Fate (with Matt shouting TWIST OF FATE) is broken up. Miz gets in some YES Kicks but gets sent into the corner, setting up the hot tag to Jordan. The suplexes send the Miztourage flying as everything breaks down. Jordan hits the running shoulder in the corner to Axel but Miz makes a blind tag, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to put Jordan away at 10:31.

Rating: C-. Ridiculous looking non-crowd aside, not much of a match here. In theory you would have Miz lose the fall to Jordan here to set up the title match but it wouldn’t shock me if they had Miz beat him and then set it up anyway. This match didn’t need to happen and only served as a way to have some of these names on the card.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa is defending after winning the title on Monday. The crowd is looking far better already with the section opposite the hard camera now mostly full. Neville, in white trunks for a change, gets knocked outside so Tozawa can do his shouting. Tozawa follows him out but gets sent into the LED apron as we take a break.

Back with Neville throwing on a chinlock until Tozawa throws him outside for a suicide dive. A hard belly to back suplex drops Neville and an Octopus Hold has him in even more trouble. Neville makes the ropes and cuts off a charge with an enziguri, only to get kicked down as well to put them back to even. Back up and Tozawa rocks Neville with a right hand but it’s still too early for the backsplash. The superplex is broken up but the backsplash hits raised knees. The Red Arrow gives Neville the title back at 11:47.

Rating: C. And that would makes them 2-2 in 50/50 booking on the Kickoff Show so far. Neville lost the title on Monday and gets it back on Monday for whatever reason, despite having no one left to defend the thing against. I’m sure this is going to thrill the fans so far, now that they’re at least in the arena.

Here’s Elias to sing two songs, one of which insults Brooklyn in general and the other of which insults local singers. No match or anything but this is a thing that happened.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day

New Day is defending with Big E. and Woods in the ring. Before the match, Kofi (in Red Lantern inspired gear) talks about New Day’s history in Brooklyn, which is the first place they sang to the crowd and the birthplace of Francesca. Woods forearms Jimmy down to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner. A raised boot cuts him off though and we take a break.

Back with Woods fighting out of a chinlock before coming up with a dropkick to Jey. Jimmy pulls Big E. off the apron though and it’s a Death Valley Driver into the corner for two. A modified Demolition Decapitator gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Back up with Woods getting in a faceplant for the tag off to Big E. as house is cleaned in a hurry. The Warrior Splash hits Jimmy and Big E. powerbombs Woods onto him for good measure.

In a real twist, Woods puts Big E. on his shoulders for a splash. JBL: “That’s what you’ve come to expect from the New Day!” A move they’ve never done before? Jey comes in off a hot tag and a double spinebuster gets two on Big E. It’s back to Woods who sends Jimmy into Big E. for a Rock Bottom/Backstabber combination and a near fall. Everything breaks down with the twins being sent outside for a dive from Woods, only to have Big E.’s stopped by a superkick.

The Superfly Splash gets two on Xavier but he’s back up with a Koji Clutch on Jey. A Shining Wizard gets two more and the Midnight Hour plants Jey with Jimmy diving in at the last second for the save. Woods charges at Jey, who launches him over the top into a Samoan drop on the floor. Big E. spears Jey through the ropes, only to have the Big Ending broken up by a blind tag. Five superkicks and a double Superfly Splash gives us new champions at 19:09.

Rating: B+. Heck of a match here as the three people/teams who won during the week go to 0-3 on the Kickoff Show. I have no idea what the point is in putting the titles back on the Usos as they cleaned out the “division” in recent months, pretty much leaving New Day alone as a good face team. Breezango barely wrestles anymore and we’ve done the two of them vs. the Usos, but that’s never stopped WWE before.

We get a KFC ad featuring various people auditioning to be the next Colonel Sanders. This cuts to the arena where Shawn Michaels comes out in a sleeveless Sanders outfit, dances around, slides over the announcers’ table, and nothing else. This is one of the most random things I’ve ever seen.

The opening video looks at every match under the slogan Go Big.

No pyro again, but let me introduce you to the ridiculous amount of commentary teams and all their equipment to broadcast live in various languages.

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Cena cost Corbin his Money in the Bank cash-in on Monday. For a change of pace, Cena slides to the floor and grabs JBL’s hat while saying Corbin is shaken up. Back in and Cena’s headlock is broken up with some knees to the ribs. Corbin’s slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline gets two and it’s time to yell at the referee.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two and triggers a WHERE’S YOUR BRIEFCASE chant. That earns Cena a chokebreaker as this is mostly one sided so far. Cena fights out of a superplex with a tornado DDT but the AA is broken up. Deep Six gives Corbin two but Cena comes right back with the Attitude Adjustment for the fast pin at 10:18.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I said this about a Cena match but this sucked. This was Cena getting beaten up for eight minutes and then coming back with a single AA for the pin (which NEVER happens). I don’t know if Corbin ran over Vince’s dog or something but he’s been crushed in the last week for no apparent reason. This was really odd and a big letdown, at least partially due to time.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Naomi

Natalya is challenging after winning an elimination match last month. Naomi starts fast and knocks her outside, meaning it’s time to shout a lot. Back in and the champ’s leg gets snapped over the top rope and then over the turnbuckle for good measure. A suplex gives Natalya two, followed by a small package to give Naomi the same.

Back up and Natalya blasts her with a clothesline, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two more. The discus clothesline drops Naomi again but she comes back with a Russian legsweep. Naomi declares it GLOW TIME and does her dancing kicks (the ones that make almost no contact) but Natalya pulls her down to the mat instead. Back up and the reverse Rings of Saturn is reversed into the Sharpshooter for the surprise tap out at 10:49.

Rating: C-. Natalya looked far better out there but sweet goodness this division is getting less and less interesting all the time. The longer we wait for Charlotte and Becky Lynch to be in the title picture, the worse this division seems, mainly because it feels like a big waste of time. This match should have been on the Kickoff Show or not on the show whatsoever, but that might mean someone doesn’t make the card and that would just be unforgivable.

There’s no Carmella appearance.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show. Cass turned on Enzo Amore for running his mouth too much (gee I’m stunned) so Enzo brought in Show to help deal with him. Tonight Enzo is locked in a shark cage and Show’s hand is broken due to an attack by Cass.

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Enzo runs his mouth before the match and sucks up to Brooklyn, furthering his status as my least favorite person in the company. I don’t think I need to explain to you why Enzo is really annoying but he’s been even more so lately. Show slugs away with his left hand as Enzo runs his mouth about how we’re going to work tonight while dancing in the cage, causing it to rattle loudly. Show hurts his hand on a missed Vader Bomb as Enzo is now jumping up and down.

Cass hammers on the hand and grabs an armbar for some psychology. The fans think this is boring as Show fights up with a left handed chokeslam for two. Cass knocks him down again and Enzo is taking his pants off. He pulls out some hidden oil and covers himself with it, allowing him to slip through the bars. Enzo gets down so Cass kicks him in the head but the big boot only gets two on Show. A second big boot sets up the Empire Elbow for the pin on Show at 10:28.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I couldn’t stand someone as much as I can’t stand Enzo. Stephanie maybe? Cass winning helps a lot here and hopefully he can now move on to ANYTHING else. He looked good in his win and now he can move on to a fresh feud. Show is actually really acceptable in this role as he’s just putting people over on the big stage and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Daniel Bryan comes in to see Kurt Angle to say he thinks Smackdown will steam the show. Bryan: “It’s true, it’s true.” Angle thinks Raw will be better and starts a YES chant. This turns into one heck of a YES/NO battle until both guys get winded.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Not much of a story here as Rusev wanted competition and Orton answered him. Rusev jumps Orton during the entrance and beats the heck out of him before the bell. Orton says he can go and it’s an RKO for the pin at 9 seconds.

That right there is the perfect example of why I can’t stand these huge cards. This is obviously, and I do mean obviously, a case of cutting something for time. Why is it being cut for time? It’s so we could have a Cruiserweight Title rematch and a six man rematch on the Kickoff Show. Neither match was good and both matches pretty much advanced nothing (the Cruiserweight Title match actually took us back in time) but they ate up time that could have gone to this match, which could have been interesting. Instead Rusev looks like an idiot and the match barely exists. Just don’t put someone on the card. They’ll be ok.

Sasha Banks is coming to the ring when she runs into Bayley, who gets booed while wishing Bayley good luck.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Banks is challenging as a replacement for an injured Bayley. They brawl into the corner with the fans booing the heck out of Sasha. Bliss hits the hardest right hand she’s ever thrown but gets caught with a crossbody for two. Banks gets caught in the corner and faceplanted down to the mat. The New York fans are of course pleased with the woman from Boston getting beaten up, including having Bliss stand on her hair.

Alexa chokes in the corner and hits some double knees to the back. Some more choking ensues but Banks flips her out of the corner for a breather. Sasha makes her comeback with some clotheslines and a dropkick. Bliss tries a sunset flip out of the corner, only to have Sasha flip her backwards and head first into the buckles.

The Bank Statement goes on but it’s way too close to the ropes. Bliss takes her outside and sends her hard into the barricade, possibly injuring Sasha’s shoulder. Banks is back in at nine so Bliss is right on the arm, followed by Twisted Bliss for two. Some shots to the shoulder break up another Bank Statement, only to have Banks grab it again for the tap and the title at 13:17.

Rating: B-. Bliss did most of the work in the match and looked far better than I ever would have believed just a few months ago. This run has turned her into a completely acceptable worker, which isn’t what you would have expected. Banks winning is the right call long term, but they did a pretty lame job of building the match towards the finish. Still though, best thing on the show by a few miles so far.

We see the Shawn Michaels KFC bit again.

Long recap of Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray seemed to think that Balor was a false idol and promised to destroy him. Wyatt beat him this past Monday and then poured “blood” over him for some extra effect. Balor then said that Bray had his demons, but he did too. I think you know what that means.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

After Bray’s full entrance, a voice starts singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. That means the Demon King returns for the first time since last Summerslam to easily the reaction of the night. Finn crawls around and Bray takes an early breather on the still smoky floor. Back in and Balor hammers away, kicking Bray right back to the floor. Balor jumps over him in the corner so Bray leans over backwards for a scary look of his own.

That’s fine with Finn who sends him outside for a flip dive but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace. A suplex onto the floor knocks Balor silly though and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Balor pops back up and knocks him outside for a kick from the apron, followed by a Sling Blade back inside. Bray boots him in the face for two and declares that he has him. Balor gets in the shotgun dropkick against the barricade and throws him back inside for a quick Coup de Grace at 9:42 in another weak finish.

Rating: C+. As has been the case all night (and ever for the most part), it’s such a waste of a match to do it once on Monday and then again on Sunday. Why should I care that Balor won here when Bray already beat him earlier in the week? Either way, this was hardly a great return for Balor, who was the most obvious winner in the world here. Bray loses on the big stage, again, and it’s time to start his cycle all over again.

We recap Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins, which has very little to do with Cesaro/Sheamus. Ambrose and Rollins were tired of getting double teamed and teased getting back together for weeks. It FINALLY happened earlier this week and they were granted an immediate shot at the Tag Team Titles.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending. Ambrose headlocks Sheamus to start and it’s a blind tag from Rollins to set up a knee drop. A dropkick staggers Cesaro and the champs are knocked to the floor without too much effort. Sheamus pulls Dean outside for a Brogue Kick though and Seth gets slammed on the floor for good measure.

Seth grabs a Blockbuster for a breather but hang on a second as Cesaro is running into the crowd. He grabs a beach ball that a fan was batting around and rips it to shreds, drawing a heck of a YES chant. I certainly love him a lot more now. Cesaro suplexes Seth down for two but seems to have tweaked his knee.

Rollins gets taken outside for a double beating, only to have Ambrose come off the top with the elbow to put everyone down. Back in and the champs are clotheslined over the top, setting up the double suicide dives. A Hart Attack with a Sling Blade (not a Blockbuster Cole) gets two on Cesaro and the rebound lariat puts him down again. Sheamus gets caught on top for a superplex with Rollins tagging himself in for a frog splash and a near fall with Cesaro making the save.

Cesaro breaks up the double bomb out of the corner and Dirty Deeds is countered into the Sharpshooter. Dean is almost in the ropes but Cesaro switches to a Crossface in the middle of the ring. Since that’s not going to work, it’s a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two instead. White Noise is loaded up but Seth hurricanranas Cesaro off the top into Sheamus for the crazy save. A jumping knee to the face knocks Sheamus into Dirty Deeds for the pin and the titles at 18:35.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with the ending looking great. That ending was a great touch as the Shield guys worked so well together. I’m not usually a fan of having two guys put together to become champions but it helps to have such a strong history between them. Now all they need is Roman as a surprise and things should be great all over again.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles for the US Title. They’ve traded the title in recent months but Owens blames his recent loss on bad refereeing. This meant Shane McMahon was appointed as guest referee, so Owens started bringing up Shane’s history as a crooked referee and his issues with AJ. The question is will Shane screw someone over and who will it be.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending with Shane McMahon as guest referee. Owens jumps him at the bell and hammers away with AJ’s comeback being cut off without much effort. The Cannonball gets two and Owens yells at Shane. A chinlock and backbreaker get two more on the champ but AJ says bring it. Styles wins a slugout and hits a belly to back faceplant for two but can’t follow up.

Back up and AJ manages the Phenomenal Forearm, only to hit Shane by mistake. That means there’s no one to count the Pop Up Powerbomb so Owens yells at Shane. As you might expect, AJ gets back up and knocks Shane to the floor by mistake. The Calf Crusher goes on and Owens taps to no avail.

Everyone gets back in and AJ forearms Owens down, only to get caught in the spinning superplex for two. AJ comes right back with the Styles Clash for a close two. Owens grabs the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin but AJ’s foot was on the ropes and Shane calls it off. That means an argument and Shane shoves Owens into a rollup for two. The Pele sets up the Phenomenal Forearm and a second Styles Clash retains the title at 17:25.

Rating: B. This was too much about Shane and they’re not exactly being subtle about the upcoming Owens vs. McMahon match. AJ retaining is the right call here as there’s no need to put it back on Owens if he’s going to be feuding with Shane in the coming weeks. It wasn’t quite the blow away match I was expecting but it was a good, back and forth fight and a definitive ending, which is the most important thing.

Some fans won a sweepstakes and got to go to the show.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Jinder Mahal won the title in May in a huge upset and has continued to defy his critics ever since. Shinsuke Nakamura became #1 contender by pinning John Cena clean. There’s also no Baron Corbin to cash-in his Money in the Bank briefcase any longer.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Jinder is defending and Nakamura is played to the ring by a live violinist. The threat of some kicks brings Mahal close enough to grab a wristlock, only to have Nakamura spin out and send Mahal outside. Nakamura says bring it on so Mahal gets back inside, only to get caught with Good Vibrations. Shinsuke is getting a little too comfortable so the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Mahal to pound him down and grab a chinlock.

Back up and Nakamura gets in a spinning kick to the jaw and a cross armbreaker but Jinder makes the ropes. Some hard kicks to the front and back of the head have Mahal reeling but here are the Singh Brothers for another distraction. This time it allows the Khallas to end Nakamura at 11:25.

Rating: D+. And Mahal retains to bore another day. I have no idea what’s supposed to interest me about Mahal but it’s really missing. Nakamura might not have been ready to win the title but the Singh Brothers distraction into a Khallas is about as lame of a finish as there is in WWE right now. If he had a great finisher or something it would make a big difference, but sweet goodness this let the air out of the place.

We recap the Universal Title match and simply put, this is going to be chaos. Brock Lesnar is defending against Braun Strowman, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns with basically a guarantee of pure anarchy. I don’t think you need much more of an explanation.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman

Lesnar is defending, anything goes, and he leaves WWE if he loses. Naturally Paul Heyman handles Lesnar’s Big Match Intro and we’re ready to go. Joe goes after Lesnar while Strowman and Reigns head outside. The first suplex sends Joe outside but Reigns posts Strowman to set up the first showdown. The first German suplex drops Reigns and Joe comes in to take the second. NOW it’s the real showdown though with Strowman vs. Lesnar and the fans are way into this one.

Joe and Reigns cut it off though and we’re forced to wait a bit more. The wait is only a few seconds though as Reigns and Joe are knocked outside and it’s Strowman LAUNCHING Lesnar into the corner and clotheslining him hard to the floor. Reigns comes back in and clotheslines Strowman, who calmly shoves Reigns away. Joe grabs the Koquina Clutch on Lesnar but sidesteps a spear, sending Lesnar HARD through the barricade.

Joe Rock Bottoms Reigns onto the announcers’ table but Strowman runs Joe over, leaving him as the last man standing. Strowman goes to load up the table as Graves hopes he uses Saxton as a weapon. A running powerslam drives Brock through a table but Reigns dropkicks Strowman down. Joe’s suicide elbow drops Reigns so Strowman throws a commentator’s chair at both of them.

Lesnar is getting back up so Strowman powerslams him through the second announcers’ table. Fans: “ONE MORE TABLE!” Strowman obliges by turning the last table over on top of Lesnar, drawing a bunch of referees and agents to save the champ. Heyman: “NOOOOO!” We get a stretcher for Brock as Heyman is absolutely losing his mind. Lesnar is taken out and Strowman wants to know where the Beast is now.

Strowman picks up some steps and decks both guys but Reigns slows him down with a few shots. A shot with the steps has Strowman reeling and a third sends him outside, only to have Joe come in with a rollup for two on Reigns. Roman gets two off the Samoan drop but the Superman Punch is countered into the Koquina Clutch. Strowman is right back in though and a double chokeslam gets two.

The Undertaker chants start up and here’s Brock again. Strowman gets taken down and a running forearm knocks him to the floor. It’s Suplex City time with both Samoans being sent flying. Strowman, with a bloody ear, breaks out of a suplex attempt so Brock goes with the Kimura.

Reigns makes the save with a Superman Punch, followed by another one to both guys. A weird looking spear (Lesnar didn’t really go backwards) gets two on Brock but Reigns gets caught in the Koquina Clutch. That’s broken up by a Strowman dropkick (Cole: “Is there anything he can’t do?”) for two on Joe. The Pop Up Superman Punch gets two more on Strowman and Reigns is almost scared by the kickout.

Braun gets two more off the powerslam with Lesnar making a save. Lesnar can’t F5 Braun but Reigns spears Braun out to the floor, leaving him alone with Brock. Joe is back in with the Clutch on Lesnar but Brock reverses into the F5 for two with Reigns making the save for his only positive reaction of the night. Three straight Superman Punches drop Brock but the spear is countered into the F5 to retain the title at 21:01.

Rating: A. I need a breather. You can tell they’re setting up something special for Strowman here as he didn’t take the pin, nor did he have anyone really get the better of him all match. Lesnar vs. Strowman is REALLY tempting right now and I’d love to see it happen at some big match. Like at Survivor Series or so.

That being said, WOW what a fight. These guys beat the heck out of each other for a long time and Lesnar looked incredibly vulnerable at times. It’s amazing how much better these matches are when he’s not the unstoppable machine and it looks like WWE is starting to learn that. It was great stuff here and Strowman looked like a monster, which is all he needed to be here. The fallout from this is going to be interesting and Reigns taking the fall hopefully means a bit of a downgrade for him.

Lesnar looks like he just fell out of a building to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The first hour of this show was awful and came as close as you can get to sinking what was an otherwise very good show. For once it helps when you have that much more time after the first hour to save things, but hopefully this shows WWE (it won’t) that four hours is too long for a regular show. If you cut out some of the bad stuff, this is a classic. As it is, it’s just a very good show with a great main event. In other words, good, but WWE gets in its own way again.

That being said, I really liked parts of this with the main event obviously blowing away everything else on the show. They have some serious options going forward, assuming they can manage to get Lesnar to show up more than once every few months. Strowman looks like the star of stars at this point and if they don’t do him vs. Lesnar before the end of Wrestlemania XXXIV, they’ve lost their freaking minds. Good show, but it needs an hour or so shaved off to bring it to that next level.

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2016 (Original): The First Of One

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the second biggest night of the year but there’s a real case to be made that this show is much bigger than Wrestlemania. There are five potential main events with the likely headliner of Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton. Based on the matches alone there’s almost no way this isn’t great so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango vs. American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos

Rematch from Smackdown. Gable takes Breeze to the mat to start and works on the arm before it’s off to Jey. English comes in and gets his arm cranked by Rawley. Ryder comes in with a middle rope dropkick and everything breaks down with Alpha taking down Ascension with a top rope clothesline. Everyone is on the floor as we take a break. Back with Gotch cranking on Ryder’s arm before Viktor comes in with a chinlock.

Breeze gets his turn at a chinlock and Viktor keeps Zack in trouble. A neckbreaker puts Konnor down though and the hot tag brings in Jimmy to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Jordan starts throwing suplexes as only he cans. We get the parade of people hitting each other in the face until Rawley powerbombs Breeze and Viktor. The Usos superkick Ascension off the apron and hit double dives to take out most of the heels. Gotch takes the Grand Amplitude but Jey tags himself in for the Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. This was a much longer version of what we got on Smackdown but at least they’re actually setting up the first major feud. Now that being said, I don’t buy the idea of Alpha winning the titles outright as it seems smarter to have them get really close but let another team steal the belts. That allows Alpha to chase them for a bit and build up the rest of the division in the process. Or they could just give us Alpha vs. the Usos and then wonder why everything after that is a letdown.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

The Dudleys have been having some issues as of late. Neville and D-Von start as Cole confirms that Orton vs. Lesnar is the main event. The good guys take turns on D-Von’s arm until Neville uses Sami’s back as a launchpad for a corkscrew moonsault. Bubba gets in a shot from behind to take over as the fans want tables. D-Von cranks on Neville’s neck and we take a break.

Back with Bubba hitting a neckbreaker out of the corner and telling D-Von to work on that neck. It’s back to Bubba, who shouts at the “English boy” to fight back. The middle rope splash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Sami gets caught in the reverse 3D. Bubba clotheslines D-Von again, setting up the Helluva Kick and the Red Arrow for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C. Remember the last few weeks where Bubba and D-Von can’t win basic matches? Well this was an extended version of that. Sami and Neville are fine for a tag team, though you would think Sami would have been much better suited getting a singles run off that big win over Owens. But nah, we need Cesaro vs. Sheamus in at least six matches instead of giving Sami some kind of a push.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match #1 in a best of seven series to establish dominance, whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. Cesaro has a tear away tuxedo tonight. Cole: “Cesaro set to take on Cesaro tonight.” Apparently these two have been going back and forth. Now normally that would imply that they had both won a match but winning matches is so blasé anymore.

The Brogue Kick and Cesaro Swing are both broken up but Sheamus sends him into the post to take over. Sheamus puts on an armbar and a tilt-a-whirl powerslam takes us to a break. Back with Cesaro in a chinlock and a look at what we saw before the break, a full minute ago. The Regal Roll means we should respect the hawk but Cesaro counters a suplex to send both guys falling out to the floor.

Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the uppercuts to set up the lifting superplex for two. That’s not enough for the Neutralizer though as Sheamus grabs White Noise to escape. A middle rope Regal Roll gets two more for Sheamus but the Brogue Kick is blocked, followed by a very hard clothesline from Cesaro.

For some reason Cesaro stands on the post and jumps down onto the top rope for the high cross body. Not much of a change but it looked cool enough. The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus is right next to the rope. Sheamus is tired of getting beaten on though and thumbs him in the eye to set up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: yes this was a hard hitting, entertaining match but these two aren’t exactly the kind of wrestlers who vary their offense too much. How many different things are they going to be able to do to keep this presumably long series fresh? At least the first match was good and they went with the only option as you can’t have Sheamus lose three times in a row.

The opening video focuses on New York City because Heaven forbid we don’t tell New Yorkers how amazing their city is every chance we get. A good highlight package for most of the matches plays over the narration.

There’s an especially big Titantron to give the show a unique look.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Enzo and Cass suck up to the fans (makes sense) and sing a song I’m not familiar with. That leads to a talk about Frank Sinatra and Cass singing a little New York, New York. Now it’s time to talk about Big E. Smalls because they’re another problem for Jeri-KO. The Canadians jump Cass to start and double team Enzo for some good strategy. The fans chant STUPID IDIOT until Enzo punches Jericho in the face and tags in Cass.

House is quickly cleaned with the big man beating up the villains and sending them outside, only to have Enzo get launched over the top (with his foot almost getting caught on the top rope). Back in and Jericho kicks Enzo in the face to take over, allowing Owens to talk trash as only he can. We hit the ASK HIM chinlock, followed by the running the ropes chinlock from Owens.

Jericho cuts off a hot tag attempt and there’s the springboard dropkick to take Cass off the apron. Owens adds the frog splash for a near fall as you can hear the fans being very much into this. The Cannonball misses and that’s enough for the hot tag to Cass. The Bada Boom Shakalacka is broken up (and that’s a shame), allowing Owens to Cannonball Cass against the barricade. Back in and Owens launches Enzo into a Codebreaker for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C+. Fun opener but the ending is a bit of a headscratcher, assuming this ends the feud. That ending was certainly dominance establishing if anything ever has been but that doesn’t mean enough to end a feud anymore. Notice that they’re still protecting Cass, which is a really good idea. I don’t think he’s actually been pinned yet in WWE and that could mean something special for his future.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan run into Mick Foley for the standard “my show is better”. They run into Jon Stewart, who freaks out about Foley working with Stephanie…..who is right behind Stewart. Stephanie teases abusing her power when New Day cuts them off. Foley steals some cereal as New Day asks if they can borrow Stewart. Stephanie says she’s misunderstood.

We recap Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte for the Women’s Title, which Banks won from Charlotte just under a month ago. The big deal is that Dana Brooke is banned from ringside, despite Banks winning after Dana was ejected in the first match.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and gets right in Charlotte’s face before we can even get the Big Match Intros. Cole again gets the dominance concept in as Charlotte uses her “physical dominance” to put Sasha in the corner. The champ comes right back with an early Bank Statement attempt to send Charlotte into the corner. Charlotte puts her on the top rope for a choke with her boot before trying a backbreaker onto the top, only to have Sasha crash onto the ropes for two instead.

Charlotte stays on the back with a Gory Special and an STO backbreaker for another near fall. A hurricanrana gets Sasha out of trouble for a bit but Charlotte ties her in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the ribs. In the move that has to be countered to avoid death, Charlotte’s super Razor’s Edge is countered with another hurricanrana to put both of them down. They slug it out with Sasha slapping away to take over before putting on a Boston crab in the corner.

The double knees to the back get two before Sasha knocks her to the floor for the double knees to the chest. She’s lucky that didn’t crush Charlotte’s head. The Bank Statement doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte escape again. Now Natural Selection connects for a string of two counts before Sasha grabs another Bank Statement. Charlotte is in trouble until she grabs the leg and rolls Sasha up for the pin and the title at 13:49.

Rating: B. Remember when Sasha won the title and it was a big deal and felt like a change of pace? Yeah forget all that because we’re likely heading for a gimmick match at Clash of the Champions as the title is hot potatoed again. This is another good example of the booking being suited for whatever they have coming up instead of what makes sense, especially when you could do the same thing to set up a third match later on. Not a fan of the booking but the match was the usual good stuff from these two.

Anderson and Gallows are making doctor jokes when AJ Styles comes in for some too sweeting. Finn Balor comes in, looks at them, and leaves as the fans lose their minds.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is challenging after winning a triple threat. These two have had almost no contact to build this up and it’s a pretty forgotten match coming in. Speaking of forgotten, Maryse’s outfit (basically a one piece swimsuit) is likely going to cause a lot of people to forget that there’s a match going on. Crews gets two off a rollup but gets caught in a DDT. Miz gets dropkicked out of the air and Crews slams him hard for two. An overhead belly to belly sets up the standing moonsault (from Crews if that’s not clear) and a rollup gets two. Crews misses a charge into the corner though and the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:40.

Rating: C. Just a Smackdown match here with the Intercontinental Title still not doing much at Summerslam. Crews losing here is fine as it’s not like he’s done anything worthy of being champion yet. That being said, it would be nice if the fans were given something to cheer for on this very long night.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. AJ beat him (with the help of the Club) at Money in the Bank and they’ve actually held off on the rematch since. The idea is an old standard as AJ thinks it’s his time but Cena wants to stand up for what he believes in and isn’t ready to go yet. The promos have more than carried it though and that’s what really matters, especially when the match itself will be great.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This is earlier than I was expecting. The dueling chants being and you can tell Cena is fired up. Feeling out process to start until AJ hits the dropdown dropkick but spends too much time posing, allowing a big right hand to the face. The fans come up with various ways to say John Cena sucks as AJ suplexes him on the apron to take over.

AJ’s strike rush has Cena in trouble but he comes back again with the running shoulders. Styles gets right up and hits the Pele to set up the first Styles Clash for the first kicking out of a finisher. Since this is a Cena pay per view match, an AA hits immediately after for two more. I knew that was coming before they were even off the mat.

A torture rack powerbomb gets two more for AJ before something like a Big Ending of all things gets the same for Cena. The AA backbreaker drops Cena for two more but AJ misses a springboard 450. Cena can’t follow up though and AJ gets two off a belly to back into a facebuster. There’s the STF but Styles reverses into a not great Crossface. Cena powers out but gets pulled down into the Calf Crusher.

That’s reversed into the STF which is escaped for an enziguri from AJ. They’re just trading big moves here. The tornado DDT and top rope Fameasser get two each for Cena so AJ uses his turn for a super hurricanrana. The Phenomenal Forearm gets two more so Cena uses that big clothesline that he uses for a comeback. Cena grabs the super AA for two in a very rare failure for that move. John looks at him in awe and charges into another Styles Clash, followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for the completely clean pin at 23:17.

Rating: A. That’s going to set the bar very high for the match of the weekend. AJ winning clean here is a HUGE deal for him and makes him the pretty much undisputed #1 contender for the Smackdown World Title. It’s really nice to see the trend of “Cena loses, Cena wins, Cena wins again” broken and the fact that it was in such a great match helped a lot. Oh and very good move to have AJ kick out of the super AA and then win. It would have been such a waste otherwise. This was great stuff and the ending made it even better so I’m much happier than I was coming in.

Cena actually gets cheered post match. He takes off the Never Give Up armband and leaves it in the ring before walking away. I doubt it goes anywhere but that could mean something.

Some fans won a contest.

Here’s Jon Stewart to say that was a great match because no one interfered and hit one of them with a chair. Yes he did that last year and he learned that you never take an AA without tucking your shirt in. He’s been asked by New Day to join with them for one night and puts on a unicorn horn. Stewart starts Big E.’s intro but the crowd does the rest for him.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending and Big E. is out hurt. Anderson and Gallows come out in their doctor coats and even have a small jar for Stewart. Kofi starts with Anderson and flips out of a monkey flip as you would expect him to do. The Unicorn Stampede has Gallows in trouble and Kofi dives over the top, poses in the air, and takes him out again.

Anderson offers a quick distraction so Kofi can get beaten down for a bit, only to have Woods get the tag a few moments later. A big elbow from the top (as in the middle of the rope, not the corner) gets two on Anderson as everything breaks down. There’s the Magic Killer but Stewart comes in to yell. Anderson and Gallows go to beat him up, allow Stewart to tuck in his shirt, and go to crotch him against the post. Cue Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: D+. This was just a way to keep the titles on New Day for a year as they’ll likely drop them to Anderson and Gallows at Clash of the Champions. The match was nothing special of course as again this felt like a Raw match to fill in time on a pay per view instead of something that actually mattered. Not bad or anything but just there.

Big E. drinks the fluid in his his ball jar.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose. Dean is carrying Smackdown as the champion but Ziggler won a six pack challenge to earn a title shot here. Ziggler has been getting much more serious lately and superkicked Dean in mid sentence on Smackdown earlier this week.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dean is defending and Shane and Bryan are at ringside to hold them apart before the bell. They slap each other in the face to start until Ziggler takes him down with a nice amateur move. Dean goes outside and sends Ziggler into the steps, followed by a butterfly superplex for two. Ambrose grabs a half crab as JBL goes into a rant about Dean robbing a homeless mannequin.

Back up and Dean gets two off a Glam Slam of all things before tuning up the band, which is now mocking Ziggler instead of Shawn. Instead of a superkick (what a concept), Dean tries Dirty Deeds but gets shoved to the floor. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT and hits back to back Fameassers for two. They hit crossbodies at the same time before Dean takes over with the top rope elbow.

Dean swivels his hips a bit (so he’s ripped off Shawn Michaels, Dolph Ziggler, Dude Love and Rick Rude so far) before they fall out to the floor. Ziggler hits a quick superkick before the Zig Zag gets two back inside. The sleeper doesn’t get Ziggler very far as Dean hits the rebound lariat for two more. Ziggler takes him up for a super faceplant but gets shoved down and caught in Dirty Deeds for the clean pin (and silence from the crowd) at 15:22.

Rating: B-. That was a good midcard title match disguised as a World Title match for reasons that I don’t even want to try to comprehend. Ziggler losing clean like that was rather stupid but you had to expect something close to it. People just don’t buy him as a big deal and it’s really hard to after all these losses. It’s probably the best move though because either of these guys is just keeping the title warm for Styles.

We look at WWE taking over New York.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/???

Eva Marie gets her full entrance but apparently she’s suffering from exhaustion and anxiety brought on by mean WWE fans. Therefore, we have a replacement.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella

Becky and Natalya start things off before it’s off to Naomi for a springboard sunset flip for two. The splits legdrop gets two more and it’s off to Carmella to send Natalya into a raised boot. Natalya takes over and it’s back to Nikki to a shockingly strong pop. A spinebuster gets two on Carmella before Bliss comes in for her moonsault knees to the ribs for two. Carmella finally crawls over and makes the tag off to Becky as things speed up but the crowd stays quiet.

Becky fires off the kicks in the corner and the Bexploder drops Natalya. A hard enziguri hits Natalya again and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. The split legged moonsault misses though and we get Carmella vs. Nikki as everything breaks down. Nikki hits her big forearm and a TKO puts Carmella away at 11:04. Ranallo: “Nikki Bella victorious in her return to WWE!”

Rating: C. Well there’s your first Smackdown Women’s Champion and to be fair, it’s not the worst idea. The only real options they had for realistic potential champions were Becky (fine) and Natalya (save me) as Naomi isn’t interesting and the other three aren’t ready for the title scene. Nikki is a good addition, but egads I was liking not having to hear about how inspirational they are and how much we should admire them.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns for the US Title, which involved Lana going into a wedding cake.

Maria Menunos of all people interviews Rusev and Lana, who say the title isn’t going anywhere.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins for the inaugural Universal Title. Rollins gets the spot due to being the #1 draft pick and Balor won a mini tournament by pinning Roman Reigns to get his place. Seth seems to be laughing off Balor as a challenger so Balor brought out the Demon to make it clear how serious this was.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

The title is vacant coming in. We see the belt for the first time and it’s the same as the Smackdown World Title but with a red strap and a UNIVERSAL CHAMPION plate on the bottom. Balor does the full on Demon entrance (complete with something like a Papa Shango paint design) and the fans are VERY pleased. This has to be won via pin or submission so it’s essentially a street fight.

Balor hits a quick dropkick and loads up the Coup de Grace but Rollins gets to the floor. Finn follows him out and starts going after the leg before diving off the barricade. Back in and Balor works on the leg, only to be taken outside for a powerbomb into the barricade. Rollins chokes away in the corner and it’s off to a chinlock. Things stay slow as Seth works on the back (too common of a target tonight) before ripping at Finn’s face.

The good looking frog splash gets two on Balor but he reverses a clothesline (looked like a Rainmaker, which is still just a clothesline) into a DDT. A knee to the face sends Rollins outside and a Sling Blade knocks him silly inside. 1916 gets two for Finn but the Coup de Grace misses and Seth grabs a triangle choke of all things. Finn gets his foot on the ropes but that’s not a break because there’s no DQ. Uh….that’s not really the same as rope breaks not counting but I get the idea.

Back in and the Buckle Bomb sets up the low superkick for two. A small package driver (fisherman’s driver into a fast small package) gets two more but Balor kicks him down, only to miss the Coup de Grace. The Pedigree only gets two and the fans aren’t even responding to the near falls anymore. Seth rolls through a Phoenix Splash (geez) but runs to the top for a superplex into a Pedigree attempt, only to have Balor dropkick him into the corner. The Coup de Grace makes Balor champion at 19:16.

Rating: B+. This was the only option as they had to pull the trigger on Balor (or someone) after the ratings have been such a disaster. Balor might not be a great champion but they’ve made him feel like a big deal and that’s what they need on this show. Rollins can take the title back whenever if necessary but at least the match was great and Rollins put him over clean.

Cole says Balor is the first person to win a World Title in his first match on a pay per view. No Cole, he’s not.

Pre-show panel recap because screw people having to go to work tomorrow.

It’s 10:26pm and we’ve got two matches left, so here’s a video of Dolph Ziggler dressed up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz in a chicken suit. No this isn’t some fever dream from watching too much wrestling lately. This is really happening and you’re supposed to be entertained by it.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

Reigns is challenging to stand up for America. Rusev jumps him before the bell and sends Reigns into the steps a few times. The bad arm is crushed by some steps but Reigns Superman Punches him off the barricade. Referees come out to pull them apart and the guys fight over a chair. Reigns cracks him over the back with a chair and is finally made to leave. No match due to Rusev not being able to compete.

Rusev is being helped off and Reigns runs back out for the spear. Ok Reigns is the heel now. Let’s see: he showed up to the wedding celebration uninvited, ruined Lana’s dress and then attacked an injured man. Rusev on the other hand was standing up for his wife and defending her honor. Why does that make him a heel here?

Long video on Orton vs. Lesnar, the same one from the last few weeks on TV. They were put together to give Lesnar a big match and they’ve traded finishers since.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

They circle each other to start until Lesnar takes him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. A way too early RKO attempt is countered and we get three German suplexes in the first two minutes. Lesnar hits three more before sending Orton outside for a slam onto the announcers’ table. A throw off the barricade sends Orton through the table as this has been one sided so far. JBL talks about the OVW class these two came out of and says Brock has beaten everyone out of that class save for Orton. Again, no JBL, he hasn’t (never beat Batista on TV, beat Orton in a nothing match).

Lesnar goes to the other table but gets caught in a quick RKO. The DDT off the barricade knocks him even sillier but Orton spends too much time loading up the Punt and gets caught in an F5 for two. Lesnar takes the gloves off and hammers away with punches and elbows. Brock finally gets up and Orton is GUSHING blood. The doctor comes in but Lesnar shoves him away and keeps pounding away as the fans chant for Goldberg. They actually call the match at 12:42 and we’re done.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how to grade this one. If this ended due to a legit injury and they couldn’t stop the blood then that’s perfectly fine and I completely get it. If this was the planned ending, my goodness what are they thinking? After a show this long, you don’t give us a thirteen minute main event with Lesnar winning AGAIN, especially in such dominant fashion. It’s just stupid booking and serves no one but people who think Lesnar is interesting for reasons I’ll never understand.

Post match Lesnar stays at it until Shane McMahon comes out…..and takes an F5 to end the show. They can’t possibly be setting this up for Wrestlemania, right? Like, there’s no way they’re that stupid. SOMEONE TELL ME THEY’RE REALLY NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT INCREDIBLY STUPID!

Overall Rating: B. So as you might not know, I write up a lot of the overall rating before the show ends for the sake of time and occasionally adjust it accordingly. In this case, the show dropped all the way from an A- to a B on that ending angle alone. We’ve spent HOW LONG watching Brock tear through people and be the most dominant thing ever to set up a match against SHANE FREAKING MCMAHON of all people? And for what? To continue this Raw vs. Smackdown feud?

I was thrilled when Shane came back because he was full of energy and all that jazz, but then he gets to have a thirty minute match with Undertaker at Wrestlemania where he kicked out of multiple finishers and now he might get TO FIGHT BROCK LESNAR??? Are you serious? At what point does Shane become more annoying than Stephanie with all this catering to him because he’s a McMahon? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think we passed it months ago.

Now, on to the stuff before WWE lost its mind.

I’d like to point out that they had three matches on a two hour pre-show, nine matches on a four hour pay per view, cut a match out and STILL ran over. At what point do you look at a show and realize that you need to trim things down a bit? Apparently not here but at least it’s better than what they did at Wrestlemania.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like a Wrestlemania card than this year’s Wrestlemania did. There was a great match, a return, new champions and less questionable booking (It should be noted that during the show, news broke that Sasha was injured which completely explains the loss. Oh and save for LESNAR VS. SHANE AGAIN) than the biggest show of the year. If this was trimmed down by about half an hour to an hour, it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just very good and that’s a great sign for them going forward.

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Main Event – August 12, 2021: The NXT Evidence

Main Event
Date: August 12, 2021
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

This show continues to vex me but the last few weeks have taken away some of the fun that it can offer. They are getting back into the funk that has a tendency to stick around for years around here and I’m not sure if we are going to see it broken up anytime soon. At least the Summerslam build should be….let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Aliyah vs. Dakota Kai

Well so much for boring. Kai is suddenly a face here, even with commentary explaining her issues with Raquel Gonzalez. They trade waistlocks to start and Aliyah doesn’t seem impressed, even as she hides in the ropes. Back up and Kai takes her down by the arm, setting up a running dropkick for two. Aliyah gets in something like an Eye of the Hurricane out of the corner for two of her own and there’s a toss into another corner.

The crossarm choke goes on to keep Kai in trouble but she powers up for the break without much trouble. There’s a Scorpion kick to rock Aliyah again and Kai hits the running kicks to the face in the corner. The Kairopractor gets the same but Aliyah is back with a northern lights suplex for two more. Something like a running DDT (I think?) finishes Kai at 5:27.

Rating: D. If you needed any more proof that WWE either has no idea how NXT works or is actively trying to hurt it, here is your big exhibit. Aliyah has never meant anything in NXT but here she is beating the #1 contender in a nothing match on Main Event as both of them make their debut. Throw in the face/heel dynamic being all over and Aliyah not being very good in the ring and this is about as much of a miss as you can get. I’m not convinced it was unintentional either, and that is really sad.

We recap Sasha Banks returning, teaming with Bianca Belair and then turning on Belair, all in the span of about an hour and a half.

From Smackdown.

Bianca Belair vs. Zelina Vega

Non-title. Belair goes right after her to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Vega gets sent to the apron but grabs Belair by the hair to take over. That doesn’t seem to bother Belair, who gorilla presses Vega but here is Sasha Banks for a distraction. Vega slips out and takes Belair down as we take a break.

Back with Belair fighting out of a chinlock but Vega sends her hard into the corner. The choke goes on so Belair drives her into the corner as well for a break. Belair suplexes her down but a delayed suplex is countered into a DDT. With Belair on the floor, Vega tries a hurricanrana from the apron, only to get pulled out of the air and swung into the apron. Back in and the KOD finishes Vega at 9:50.

Rating: C. Vega got in some offense here but ultimately this was never going to be in a ton of doubt. I’m curious to see how Banks vs. Belair goes and that is the right kind of feeling as we come into a match like this. If they can live up to the hype, things are going to go rather well. Vega worked hard here but was in over her head. The problem is I’m not sure how that can change, but a lot of the skill is there.

We look at Finn Balor nearly getting to sign to face Roman Reigns for the Universal Title at Summerslam until Baron Corbin interrupted.

From Smackdown.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin has lost his music but hold on though as he has something to say. He offers Balor an apology for last week but gets punched in the face as Balor DOES NOT accept. Corbin knocks him into the corner and punches at the ribs but gets taken down again in a hurry. There’s the Sling Blade to drop Corbin and the shotgun dropkick puts him into the corner. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 2:46.

Post match Balor says he wants the Universal Title match with Roman Reigns and if he has to go through John Cena to get there, name the place and the time. Cue Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to interrupt though and, after a break, they get in the ring for a chat. Reigns talks about how he was trying to give Balor an opportunity, so keep the Head of the Table’s name out of your mouth.

Reigns drops the mic and goes to leave but gets shoved out to the floor. The fight is teased (with the fans chanting for Cena) but here are the Usos to jump Balor from behind. The Superfly Splash misses though and Balor fights back, drawing Reigns back in for the brawl. Balor takes Reigns down but the Usos lay him out. Reigns guillotines Balor for the tap to end the show. Odds are Balor, perhaps as the Demon, is the fall challenger and there is time to rehab him on the way there.

We look at Charlotte beating Nikki Ash.

From Raw.

Nikki Ash vs. Rhea Ripley

Non-title and Nikki has banged up ribs. Nikki headlocks her down to start but gets faceplanted in a hurry. Ripley sends things outside and Nikki goes ribs first into the apron. We take a break and come back with Ripley planting her down again and hammering on the ribs. A flapjack is countered into a DDT though and both of them are down. Nikki rolls her up for two and counters the Riptide into a crossbody for two. Ripley catches her on top but the superplex is broken up, only to have Charlotte come in to shoves Nikki down for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: C. The match was starting to cook but then it was Charlotte coming in to be the big monster. I can go with the idea of neither of them losing because they both need to win something. However, maybe it would be better if we weren’t at the point where the champ and former champ both need to avoid losses so desperately.

Post match Charlotte takes out Ripley with Natural Selection. Charlotte holds up the title, because she is smarter and better than everyone else.

Summerslam rundown.

Odyssey Jones vs. Austin Theory

Jones is a big monster and Theory is a bit of a prodigy you’ve probably seen before. Theory gets shoved around without much trouble to start and Jones knocks Theory’s running shoulder out of the air with ease. It’s time to get smart for a change (not exactly Theory’s strong suit) as Theory hits a rolling dropkick but gets knocked outside again.

We take a break and come back with Theory grabbing a lengthy chinlock. Some knees to the ribs don’t do much to Jones and an attempt at a fireman’s carry proves to be a bad idea. Theory manages some shots to the face but charges into something like a scoop belly to back suplex. Jones hits a frog splash for the quick pin at 7:04.

Rating: C. It was a better match, but Jones beating an established(ish) name on NXT is a bit weird. That being said, it is clear that WWE sees a lot in Jones and they are going to push the heck out of him as a result. The match wasn’t a classic or anything, but it was certainly an upgrade over the opener.

Video on the bizarre history of RKBro.

From Raw.

Here is the returning Randy Orton (now looking like Dexter Lumis with the mustache) to a heck of a face reaction. Orton grabs the mic but here’s Riddle to cut him off. Riddle is REALLY happy that Orton is back because now they can be a team again. Riddle wants to know where Orton has been because his stepdad left like that too and never came home. Orton asks why Riddle thinks Orton wants to be a team with someone as goofy as Riddle. He talks about how ridiculous Riddle is, prompting Riddle to ask if that means Orton doesn’t want to team with him.

Cue Omos and AJ Styles, with AJ talking about how Orton is a snake and of course he’s done with the team. AJ keeps going until Orton cuts him off, saying the only thing bigger than AJ’s ego is this jackass right here next to him. The challenge is thrown out for tonight and Orton uppercuts AJ. The RKO to Omos is swatted away and Riddle’s attempt doesn’t go much better. A chokeslam (and not a good one) leaves Riddle laying and Orton walks away, with Riddle staggering behind him.

From Raw.

Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles

Omos is here with Styles. Orton takes him down to start and gets in the big stomp before sending Styles outside. An Omos distraction lets AJ send him into the apron though and there’s the slingshot forearm to send us to a break. Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock to start the slugout. The powerslam and backbreaker get two each but Orton comes up favoring his knee.

After blowing a kiss to Omos, Orton loads up the top rope superplex but AJ slips between the legs and pulls him down. The Calf Crusher goes on, sending Orton straight to the rope. The hanging DDT plants AJ but Omos offers a distraction to break up the RKO. Cue Riddle to post and choke Omos, who drives him into the post for the break. The Phenomenal Forearm is countered into the RKO to give Orton the pin at 11:19.

Rating: B-. The ending alone boosts this one up as that was a heck of a finish. Orton got a heck of a face reaction here and that isn’t a surprise given how long he was gone. It helps that he wrestles a style that can change so quickly and that was on display here. Good match, with the post match stuff with Riddle likely to make it even better.

Post match Orton yells at Riddle for coming out here but RIddle wants a hug. Orton tries to leave but eventually gives in to the hug. The fans love it and they pose….until the RKO lays Riddle out. Yeah you knew it was coming, but I’m not sure if that was the team breaking up (assuming they were a team in the first place).

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one and a lot of it is due to that horrible opener. WWE is in such a bad place at the moment and so much of that is due to how Raw is and how NXT is being treated. It is nice to have NXT out here for a change, but it doesn’t help when it is just the NXT roster doing other things instead of having them do what got them here in the first place. Bad show, with only a few highlights helping to carry things.

 

 

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Main Event – August 5, 2021: They’re Still At It

Main Event
Date: August 5, 2021
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

It can always be curious to see how a bit of a harsher crowd might react to a show like this one. Main Event is back to its old self as of late and that is not the most inspiring news. Hopefully this is the show that shakes things up again, as the show could already use another change. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Angel Garza vs. Lince Dorado

Yep, it’s Main Event all right. Garza doesn’t seem to think much of the LUCHA dance so he takes Dorado down by the wrist. That’s broken up with a flying mare and a hurricanrana sends Garza outside. Hang on a second though as Garza needs to hand a rose to a fan, allowing Dorado to get in another takedown. Back in and Dorado grabs a neck crank until Garza backdrops his way to freedom. Garza flapjacks him for two but he has to fight out of a cross armbreaker. A dropkick lets Garza TAKE OFF HIS PANTS, setting up a superkick and the Wing Clipper to finish Dorado at 5:38.

Rating: C-. This was a bit of a weird one as it is hard to get my mind around the idea of Dorado as a heel. It wasn’t a full on heel turn or anything close, but it was certainly more about having Garza as the focal point here. That should be the case on a bigger stage but for now, we’ll have to settle for Garza as the latest Main Event star.

We recap John Cena wanting to face Roman Reigns, who accepted a challenge from Finn Balor instead.

From Smackdown.

It’s time for the contract signing between Roman Reigns and Finn Balor for Summerslam. Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are in charge, with Pearce saying he knows the fighting is coming. Balor and Reigns, with Heyman, come out, with Reigns insisting on sitting at the head of the table. Pearce asks Reigns to sign, but Reign gets cut off by the CENA chants. Reigns: “We’ve already seen Mr. Missionary tonight.” Reigns asks if Balor heard Cena’s opening promo tonight, because Reigns thought it was Cena saying he was better than Balor. Cena has to use old material while Balor is fresh and new.

Reigns signs, but promises to send Balor back to NXT. Balor says he can’t wait to go back to NXT as Universal Champion again. Balor goes to sign but here is Baron Corbin to jump him from behind. The beating is on and Balor is left laying. Corbin grabs the contract but here is Cena to take Corbin out before he can sign. Cena signs the contract with a blue Sharpie (McAfee: “THAT SIGNATURE IS AWESOME!”). Cole and McAfee question the legality of signing a contract like this as Reigns seethes.

From Raw.

Here are MVP and Bobby Lashley for a chat. MVP is glad to have the fans back and knows they are all excited to see Goldberg. A few weeks ago, Goldberg challenged Lashley for the WWE Title but Lashley has yet to acknowledge the challenge. Goldberg is a legend who can destroy any man on any night, but Lashley is not just any man. MVP asks how Goldberg wants to….and here’s Goldberg to cut him off. Goldberg asks Lashley what kind of a gladiator he is. The first time Lashley saw Goldberg, Lashley thought he was a victim. Fans: “WE WANT WYATT!”

Goldberg lives by the spear and at Summerslam, Lashley dies by the spear. Goldberg leaves so MVP goes out to get in the face of Goldberg’s son. That brings Goldberg back out and the spear drops MVP. Goldberg: “You mess with my son, I’ll kill you!” The fans did not care about Goldberg here and it’s kind of hard to disagree. This whole thing feels forced and there isn’t much of a way around it.

Jaxson Ryker vs. Cedric Alexander

Ryker shoves Alexander into the corner to start but Cedric looks like he is going to have some fun. You don’t do that to Ryker, who grabs a spinning slam and hits a running headbutt. Alexander gets tied in the Tree of Woe for some forearms to the chest, setting up a clothesline to the floor. Back in and Cedric manages a clothesline off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Cedric grabbing an armbar and shouting at the fans a lot. Some elbows to the face make it worse but Ryker is back up with a spinebuster. Cedric is right back with his own seated armbar but this time Ryker powers up for the running corner clotheslines. Alexander’s tornado DDT rocks Ryker, who comes back with the swinging Boss Man Slam for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C. This was a better way to go for Ryker, who needs someone like Alexander to bump off of him. The problem for Ryker continues to be the same thing though: other than glaring at people and having an intense stare, there isn’t much to focus on. He can do one thing well and that’s about it, which is not going to last all that long.

From Smackdown.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. She is so proud of her 111 day Women’s Title reign and now she is happy to be back in front of these people. Belair can’t wait to see what the next 100 days have….and here is Carmella to cut her off. Carmella thinks she should get another shot because the lighting at Rolling Loud was messing her up.

Cue Zelina Vega to say Carmella is too pretty to be a three time loser. Vega gets in Belair’s face to say the people want to see a rising star get a chance. Belair accepts the challenge but Carmella jumps her from behind. Cue the returning Sasha Banks (not for the first time since Wrestlemania McAfee) for the save and a big hug to Belair. That’s probably Summerslam.

From Smackdown.

Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair vs. Carmella/Zelina Vega

Belair and Carmella start fast by running Carmella over. Carmella gets in a few shots on Banks in the corner as everything breaks down. They all head outside with Belair gorilla pressing Banks, climbing onto the steps, and then throwing her onto the other two. We take a break and come back with Belair fighting out of a full nelson but getting slammed down anyway.

Carmella stomps away in the corner and Vega cuts off another hot tag attempt. Vega’s Black Widow is broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Banks. House is cleaned, including Three Amigos to Vega. The frog splash gets two with Carmella making the save. Carmella’s X Factor is countered into the Bank Statement for the tap at 8:42.

Rating: C. Just a quick match to get Banks back in the ring with a win. I’m not sure I buy the idea that Banks is going to be Belair’s new best friend, but that is one of the two default stories for women in WWE these days. Hopefully this gets rid of Carmella from the title picture for the time being, as that has been done for a while now.

Belair and Banks celebrate after the match….until Banks jumps her. The beating is on and the Bank Statement makes Belair tap. Banks picks up the title and then puts the Bank Statement on again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. That’s how Main Event tends to go, as there was very little here worth seeing but it was good enough while it lasted. As usual focusing on Smackdown is a lot better than the Raw clips, but it wasn’t like the original stuff was worth seeing. Just another run of the mill Main Event, meaning it did help me remember what happened on the important shows.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 6, 2021: Roman Reigns Is Interested

Smackdown
Date: August 6, 2021
Location: Amale Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

With just over two weeks to go before Summerslam, things are starting to come together. The big story last week was the return of Sasha Banks, who teamed with and then attacked Bianca Belair in the span of about an hour. There are still a lot of things to cover for the pay per view and odds are we’ll get some of that this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Sasha Banks to get things going. She talks about how she attacked Bianca Belair last week and we see a video about the return and beatdown. Banks says that Belair wouldn’t exist without her because she is the best of all time. Cue Belair to say Banks is one of the greatest every but she isn’t the reason Belair if here. If Banks wants the title at Summerslam, come get it. Cue Zelina Vega with a challenge of her own, meaning Banks can mock Belair a bit from the announcers’ table. That’s fine with Belair, who will fight Vega tonight and Banks at Summerslam.

Rey Mysterio tells Dominik Mysterio to keep calm with the aggression because they have their title shot. Dominik is cool with that.

Jey Uso vs. Dominik Mysterio

The other Uso and Mysterio are here too. Dominik slugs away in the corner to start and adds a dropkick. The springboard wristdrag takes Jey down but he’s back up to hit Dominik in the face. Dominik gets knocked outside but manages to jump back in for a dropkick through the ropes. The sliding sunset bomb sends Jey into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Dominik fighting back, including a dropkick to send him face first into the corner. The 619 connects and Rey takes out Jimmy, only to have Jey come back with the superkick. The Superfly Splash finishes Dominik off at 8:29.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to this one but the Usos taking the Mysterios down again isn’t that much of a stretch. They have their upcoming match at Summerslam but I don’t know if there is much doubt about who is leaving with the titles. It’s kind of nice to have them not build up false drama and it’s fun to see Dominik get kicked in the face.

We recap Seth Rollins attacking Edge last week because Edge got the Universal Title shot.

Edge is asked about what Rollins did last week. Edge: “Seth Rollins. What a rotten selfish b******.” He’s ready to meet Rollins tonight to show what a rotten selfish b****** he can be.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Apollo Crews

Non-title with Rick Boogs and Commander Azeez at ringside. Crews shoulders him down to start so Nakamura kicks him in the face. A jumping knee gives Nakamura two so Crews slams him for the same. That doesn’t do much to Nakamura, who hits a running knee to the ribs in the corner for two. Something like a GTS sets up another kick to Crews’ head but Azeez breaks up the cover for the DQ at 2:10.

Nakamura kicks Azeez to the floor.

Long recap of last week’s Finn Balor/Roman Reigns contract signing, with Baron Corbin trying to steal the title shot but getting taken out by John Cena….who stole the contract instead, because that’s how contracts work.

Paul Heyman (Heyman: “WHAT??? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT DO YOU WANT???”) is asked about the contract signing last week. He talks about how John Cena is living off of Roman Reigns’ fame and asks what would happen if he jumped Tom Brady and signed his Tampa Bay “Schmucaneers” contract. That wouldn’t get Heyman $75 million because that’s not how contracts work. Heyman isn’t in the mood to talk about this but here’s a very laughing Big E. with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Heyman leaves, looking rather concerned.

Nox vs. Tamina

Tamina has both Tag Team Title belts here and Shotzi is in Nox’s corner. Nox hammers away in the corner to start but Tamina knocks her straight back down. The Samoan drop is loaded up but Shotzi fires the tank for a distraction, allowing Nox to grab a rollup pin at 1:43.

Zelina Vega is told that her Women’s Title match has been downgraded to a Contender’s Match so she can earn the title shot. That’s fine with Vega because she knows she can beat both Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks.

Here is Edge for a chat. Edge is glad that Seth Rollins isn’t here because he doesn’t want to get arrested. To be fair though, Edge probably would have hit him in the face with a camera just like Rollins did because they’re very similar. Edge will show him that when he gets the chance and this will be finished. Rollins pops up on screen to say that they are alike and everyone should have a Plan B. Edge has a Plan B and throws out the Summerslam challenge. That gets a laugh from Rollins, who wants to know what happens when he stomps on a neck that has been fixed three times.

How can Edge take care of his family when that happens? Edge freaks out over that, calling Rollins a cross between Russell Brand, a televangelist and Colonel Sanders (Rollins: “Hallelujah!”). Edge talks about how Rollins should have finished the job in 2014 (they might want to show that a time or two if they are going to keep referencing it). Rollins wants to follow in his footsteps but can’t fill Edge’s boots. That’s too far for Rollins, who accepts the challenge. They were going to get there somehow and this worked as well as anything else.

A ticked off Finn Balor isn’t happy with Baron Corbin costing him a Summerslam Universal Title shot. Corbin can be dealt with tonight, but then Balor has a bone to pick with John Cena.

Street Profits vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

Montez Ford snapmares Roode down to start but has to bail out of a standing moonsault. The standing dropkick has Roode in trouble but Ford goes after Ziggler, allowing Roode to snap off a spinebuster. Ziggler comes in with a running kick to the face into Roode’s Russian legsweep for two on Ford. A shot to the face lets Ford get over for the tag to Angelo Dawkins but Ziggler Fameassers him down for two. Dawkins is right back with the Anointment though and the Cash Out finishes for Ford at 3:40.

Rating: C. Just a welcome back match for the Street Profits and that was fine. It isn’t like Roode and Ziggler are going to be hurt by a loss so letting the Street Profits get some momentum back makes sense. The Street Profits vs. the Usos would be fine for a fall title program and getting the team reheated is a good way to start.

Bianca Belair vs. Zelina Vega

Non-title. Belair goes right after her to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Vega gets sent to the apron but grabs Belair by the hair to take over. That doesn’t seem to bother Belair, who gorilla presses Vega but here is Sasha Banks for a distraction. Vega slips out and takes Belair down as we take a break.

Back with Belair fighting out of a chinlock but Vega sends her hard into the corner. The choke goes on so Belair drives her into the corner as well for a break. Belair suplexes her down but a delayed suplex is countered into a DDT. With Belair on the floor, Vega tries a hurricanrana from the apron, only to get pulled out of the air and swung into the apron. Back in and the KOD finishes Vega at 9:50.

Rating: C. Vega got in some offense here but ultimately this was never going to be in a ton of doubt. I’m curious to see how Banks vs. Belair goes and that is the right kind of feeling as we come into a match like this. If they can live up to the hype, things are going to go rather well. Vega worked hard here but was in over her head. The problem is I’m not sure how that can change, but a lot of the skill is there.

Roman Reigns says he is interested in Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin has lost his music but hold on though as he has something to say. He offers Balor an apology for last week but gets punched in the face as Balor DOES NOT accept. Corbin knocks him into the corner and punches at the ribs but gets taken down again in a hurry. There’s the Sling Blade to drop Corbin and the shotgun dropkick puts him into the corner. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 2:46.

Post match Balor says he wants the Universal Title match with Roman Reigns and if he has to go through John Cena to get there, name the place and the time. Cue Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to interrupt though and, after a break, they get in the ring for a chat. Reigns talks about how he was trying to give Balor an opportunity, so keep the Head of the Table’s name out of your mouth.

Reigns drops the mic and goes to leave but gets shoved out to the floor. The fight is teased (with the fans chanting for Cena) but here are the Usos to jump Balor from behind. The Superfly Splash misses though and Balor fights back, drawing Reigns back in for the brawl. Balor takes Reigns down but the Usos lay him out. Reigns guillotines Balor for the tap to end the show. Odds are Balor, perhaps as the Demon, is the fall challenger and there is time to rehab him on the way there.

Overall Rating: B-. All in all, this was a solid show with matches being made for Summerslam, good talking and nothing bad. That last part is what often sets Smackdown apart, as they are a pretty steady two hours most weeks. That’s a pretty good place to be and it makes Friday such an easy night of wrestling. It’s not a great show, but it was good enough and I’ll certainly take it at this point.

Results
Jey Uso b. Dominik Mysterio – Superfly Splash
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Apollo Crews via DQ when Commander Azeez interfered
Nox b. Tamina – Rollup
Street Profits b. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler – Cash Out to Ziggler
Bianca Belair b. Zelina Vega – KOD
Finn Balor b. Baron Corbin – Coup de Grace

 

 

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Smackdown – July 30, 2021: It’s Moving Day

Smackdown
Date: July 30, 2021
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re less than a month away from Summerslam and things have been getting interesting around here again. Last week, John Cena challenged Roman Reigns for Summerslam. That was a no, but Finn Balor issued his own challenge and got a yes. There is no word on when that takes place, but it should be pretty soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. We look at a recap of last week with Reigns, Cena and Balor, complete with Reigns’ missionary position line. Cena: “If you can find someone who can keep missionary position interesting for two decades, keep them in your life. It’s going to be worth it, I promise.” Cena talks about how he isn’t going to change anything and it wouldn’t make sense. Steve Austin wouldn’t come back as Sasquatch Steve Houston, or the Rock wouldn’t come back as Too Small Johnson.

Cena: “Roman Reigns has to change every two years because if he doesn’t, people stop caring about him.” Reigns is a guy named Joe, who gets by on every gimmick and is too scared to fail. He refused to fight Cena because of how Cena looks, but it’s really because of how Cena makes him look.

Cue Baron Corbin, but Cena doesn’t even recognize him. Cena: “DUDE! YOU LOOK….” Corbin: “Horrible, I know.” Corbin talks about everything that has gone wrong with him, and now he has had his identity stolen. On top of that, he has suffered an injury to a personal area and can’t perform. His wife took the kids and left, but maybe Cena can help him.

Cena asks the fans if he should help him, and Cena hands him some cash. Corbin: “THAT’S IT???” Corbin asks for a part in the Suicide Squad, but Cena says it’s already wrapped. Cena: “It come out next Friday. Make sure you go see it!” Corbin begs some more so Cena gives him the AA. Cena was feeling it here with the mixture of comedy and bombs on Reigns. The Corbin stuff is still great too, though how much more can happen to him?

We look at the Usos taking the Tag Team Titles from the Mysterios.

Dominik Mysterio tells Rey Mysterio he’ll have his back tonight. Rey says keep an eye on him and another eye on the Usos. They have to step it up to get the titles back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jimmy Uso

Dominik and Jey Uso are here too. Rey sends him into the corner to start and hammers away, setting up the bulldog for two. Jimmy is sent outside but avoids the dive, setting up the superkick to drop Rey. We take a break and come back with Rey kicking Jimmy in the head for a breather. Rey gets sent to the apron and an enziguri drops him again. Back up and Jimmy is sent outside, setting up the slingshot corkscrew dive to take out both Usos. Rey tries the 619 but Jimmy catches him in the fireman’s carry. That’s reversed into a crucifix, with Dominik adding the assist for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C-. Quick match here to get the Mysterios some momentum to get them ready for their next title match. It makes sense to have Dominik do something like that at the end too, as you can only have him doing the same stuff for so long. It wasn’t a great match or even close to one, but it did what it was supposed to do.

We look back at Bianca Belair retaining the Women’s Title over Carmella at the Rolling Loud festival last week. Even McAfee has to acknowledge how the fans didn’t care.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. She is so proud of her 111 day Women’s Title reign and now she is happy to be back in front of these people. Belair can’t wait to see what the next 100 days have….and here is Carmella to cut her off. Carmella thinks she should get another shot because the lighting at Rolling Loud was messing her up.

Cue Zelina Vega to say Carmella is too pretty to be a three time loser. Vega gets in Belair’s face to say the people want to see a rising star get a chance. Belair accepts the challenge but Carmella jumps her from behind. Cue the returning Sasha Banks (not for the first time since Wrestlemania McAfee) for the save and a big hug to Belair. That’s probably Summerslam.

Video on Reginald winning the 24/7 Title.

Reginald talks about doing whatever he needs to do to retain the title. He has been looking everywhere for someone coming after him, even getting a camera on his shopping cart. The title is on the line tonight and while he doesn’t know who is challenging him, they should expect the unexpected.

24/7 Title: Reginald vs. Chad Gable

Gable, with Otis, is challenging and Otis jumps Reginald before the bell. A bridging northern lights suplex gets two on Reginald but he bounces around to avoid the chops. Instead, Gable tiger suplexes him for two but Reginald flips out of a German superplex. Gable is set into the corner to set up the running flipping seated senton, drawing Otis in for the DQ at 1:38.

Post match Reginald is thrown outside but sticks the landing to escape.

Sonya Deville announces Carmella/Zelina Vega vs. Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair for tonight.

It’s time for the contract signing between Roman Reigns and Finn Balor for Summerslam. Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are in charge, with Pearce saying he knows the fighting is coming. Balor and Reigns, with Heyman, come out, with Reigns insisting on sitting at the head of the table. Pearce asks Reigns to sign, but Reign gets cut off by the CENA chants. Reigns: “We’ve already seen Mr. Missionary tonight.” Reigns asks if Balor heard Cena’s opening promo tonight, because Reigns thought it was Cena saying he was better than Balor. Cena has to use old material while Balor is fresh and new.

Reigns signs, but promises to send Balor back to NXT. Balor says he can’t wait to go back to NXT as Universal Champion again. Balor goes to sign but here is Baron Corbin to jump him from behind. The beating is on and Balor is left laying. Corbin grabs the contract but here is Cena to take Corbin out before he can sign. Cena signs the contract with a blue Sharpie (McAfee: “THAT SIGNATURE IS AWESOME!”). Cole and McAfee question the legality of signing a contract like this as Reigns seethes.

Post break, Paul Heyman asks what Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are going to do about Summerslam because that contract situation doesn’t work. They look at the contract, which says Summerslam and has Reigns and Cena’s signatures. That’s good enough for them, so the match is on.

Big E./Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro vs. Apollo Crews/Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Commander Azeez is here with the villains. Rick Boogs handles the intro and McAfee dances as usual. Crews sends Big E. outside in a hurry and it’s a spinebuster/Zig Zag combination to send us to an early break. Back with Big E. getting over for the hot tag to Cesaro, who Swings Ziggler in a hurry. The Sharpshooter is broken up so Nakamura comes in to kick Ziggler down for two.

Kinshasa is countered with a Sling Blade but Ziggler can’t cover. He can however bring in Crews for a standing moonsault to Nakamura. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Azeez tries to interfere but Boogs distracts him with the guitar. The distraction is enough for Nakamura to Kinshasa Crwes for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C. This was a bunch of people not getting a ton of time, but it probably sets up (at least one of) Crews’ next challenger for the title. A big multiman match of some sort wouldn’t surprise me, and at least in this case they have set part of it up. At least they got to the point here without wasting a lot of time, so this could have been a lot worse.

We look at Edge brawling with Seth Rollins last week.

Here is Edge for a chat….but it’s Rollins in the ring when we come back from a break. Rollins attacked Edge during the break, including a camera shot to the face. Rollins rants about how he had to do that and throws us to a video on his history with Edge. He should be the Universal Champion, but if he can’t be, neither can Edge.

We recap the contract signing.

Next week: Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin.

Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair vs. Carmella/Zelina Vega

Belair and Carmella start fast by running Carmella over. Carmella gets in a few shots on Banks in the corner as everything breaks down. They all head outside with Belair gorilla pressing Banks, climbing onto the steps, and then throwing her onto the other two. We take a break and come back with Belair fighting out of a full nelson but getting slammed down anyway.

Carmella stomps away in the corner and Vega cuts off another hot tag attempt. Vega’s Black Widow is broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Banks. House is cleaned, including Three Amigos to Vega. The frog splash gets two with Carmella making the save. Carmella’s X Factor is countered into the Bank Statement for the tap at 8:42.

Rating: C. Just a quick match to get Banks back in the ring with a win. I’m not sure I buy the idea that Banks is going to be Belair’s new best friend, but that is one of the two default stories for women in WWE these days. Hopefully this gets rid of Carmella from the title picture for the time being, as that has been done for a while now.

Belair and Banks celebrate after the match….until Banks jumps her. The beating is on and the Bank Statement makes Belair tap. Banks picks up the title and then puts the Bank Statement on again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was ok for the most part but the angles were what mattered here. You have Cena vs. Reigns made official, Edge vs. Rollins all but official, and Banks returning to set up her rematch. This was the heavy lifting show that Summerslam has been needing and now we should have most of the Smackdown half set. The matches look good too, so hopefully they can live up to the hype.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Jimmy Uso – Crucifix with assist from Dominik Mysterio
Reginald b. Chad Gable via DQ when Otis interfered
Big E./Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode/Apollo Crews – Kinshasa to Crews
Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair b. Carmella/Zelina Vega – Bank Statement to Carmella

 

 

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Smackdown – July 23, 2021: This Was A Fine Wrestling Show

Smackdown
Date: July 23, 2021
Location: Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse, Cleveland, Ohio/Rolling Loud Festival, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We’re into the second week of having fans back and this time the big story is John Cena returning to Smackdown to see Roman Reigns. You can see Summerslam from here but we still need to make it official. Other than that, Carmella is getting another shot at Bianca Belair for no particular reason. Let’s get to it.

Here is Money in the Bank if you need a recap.

We start fast this week with John Cena starting us off in a hurry. He talks about how hyped up the fans are here and knows that Roman Reigns is coming. There is some sports news coming out of Cleveland today, which is why he has changed his middle name to Guardians (as did Cleveland’s baseball team). He has to protect the little respect that WWE has left because Roman Reigns is terrible as Universal Champion. We’re back live and that means we are on the way to Summerslam, which is a place for the fans to show what they believe in. Whose team are you on?

That gives us a loud CENA chant, so he asks if you’re on Team Jorts or Team Cargo Pants? Team Hustle, Loyalty and Respect or on a team no one respects? Cena wants to know where Reigns is, because at Summerslam, Reigns can’t see him. Let’s get Reigns out here, but here is Paul Heyman (McAfee: “Legend.”) instead. Heyman says Reigns isn’t coming out here, but Cena will get an answer tonight. Then, Cena will know that the Tribal Chief is here. Heyman then does You Can’t See Me and sings (I guess?) the tune of Cena’s song in something you have to see to appreciate/believe. Both guys were amazing here.

Finn Balor vs. Sami Zayn

Commentary makes a special point of going over the titles and accomplishments of these two, which is a good idea that could happen more often. Sami takes him down with an armbar and then rakes Balor’s eyes over the ropes. Balor gets sent outside and Sami hammers away, only to have Balor do the same back inside. This time it’s Sami being sent outside for the big running flip dive from Balor.

We take a break and come back with Sami grabbing a chinlock. Sami cuts off a comeback attempt with a DDT but Balor is right back up with a Sling Blade. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two more on Balor, who pulls Sami right back down for a double stomp. The shotgun dropkick sets up the Coup de Grace to give Balor the pin at 8:51.

Rating: C. This was about getting Balor back in the ring to show that he can still win around here. Sami is the perfect choice for that as he can lose and lose while still bouncing right back. I’m not sure what Balor is going to be doing around here but going after Apollo Crews and dealing with Commander Azeez could be interesting.

Baron Corbin managed to lose money with his Corbin Fund Me because the guy who set up the website stole his identity. He has no credit now and had to ride the bus here. Corbin: “What’s happened to me?”

Here is Mr. Money In The Bank Big E. for a chat. After some YOU DESERVE IT chants, Big E. talks about how he did some crazy things on Sunday (Big E.: “I don’t have any business jumping off ladders!”) but here is Apollo Crews to interrupts. Crews mocks him for only having a contract but here are Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode to interrupt as well.

Ziggler says you better be talking about the two of them if you’re talking about the Intercontinental Title (which we weren’t) but here is Rick Boogs to interrupt. Before he can say anything, it’s Cesaro interrupting as well. The brawl is on and Crews gets a quick Swing. There were a lot of people here and they were talking about the same thing, but the briefcase was completely moved to the side.

We go down to the Rolling Loud Festival where Wale leads the fans in a WE WANT THE SMOKE chant and introduces the Street Profits.

Angelo Dawkins vs. Chad Gable

The set is really weird here as the ring is on the stage, with a really long ramp extending out from the ring. There are a TON of people here too, as in several thousands at minimum. Montez Ford and Otis are here too as commentary talks about the other acts performing at the festival.

Gable pulls Dawkins into the triangle choke over the ropes to damage the shoulder again and a top rope clothesline gets two. A suplex gives Gable two more and a German suplex is good for the same. Dawkins avoids a moonsault though and sends Gable outside, only to get caught with a Liger Kick back inside. Gable grabs a backslide for two but Dawkins hits the Anointment for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: C. They were smart to keep this short and sweet as you do not want the people to lose interest. The Profits were here for the big entrance and that worked out well enough, as the feud continues towards a pretty big tag match. Not exactly a great match, but that wasn’t the point of something like this.

Women’s Title: Carmella vs. Bianca Belair

Carmella is challenging for the second week in a row. Belair rolls her up for an early two but Carmella is back with a flying headscissors. The fans want something else as Belair fights up and snaps off a fall away slam. The handspring moonsault gets two as the fans are saying they want….something. A jawbreaker staggers Belair and an X Factor gets two more. Back up and Belair misses a big boot, which means nothing as she grabs the KOD to retain at 4:47.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this was about getting in and out before anyone overstayed their welcome. Carmella was absolutely not a threat to the title here and while the second title match was a little much, it was over and done with in a hurry. Now just find someone new for Belair to face (maybe a debuting Toni Storm) and we should be in for some good stuff.

Back in Cleveland, Shotzi and Nox are having trouble with their tank. Kevin Owens suggests hitting it with a hammer, which is all he can think of doing. Owens runs into Baron Corbin, who apologizes for treating him badly last week. That is how Corbin has been for years now and he asks Owens for forgiveness. Corbin is even wearing the same shirt as last week (complete with stain) so Owens actually gives him $20. Owens leaves and NOW the tank works, hitting Corbin rather low. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode come in to steal the money so Owens chases them off with a chair.

Here is Edge for a chat. Those reactions do something for him and he is so happy to be back. If you saw Money in the Bank, you know he should be Universal Champion but Seth Rollins kept that from happening. Edge thought he had all of his bases covered with the Mysterios, but this was bigger than that. This goes back to when they met in 2014 and Rollins thought Edge would never be back. Well not only is he back, but he is in Rollins’ way. Edge talks about being in the Brood and in the Ministry of Darkness but here is Rollins to interrupt.

Rollins greets Grandpa Edge, who keeps talking about the man he used to be. Edge: “Shut up.” Edge invites him to the ring for a man to man talk but Rollins says Edge knows what can happen to him. As Edge sighs, Rollins comes to the ring and talks about how John Cena and Edge are jumping the line, but the more he thinks about it, the more thrilled he is. Rollins wants the people to give it up for Grandpa Edge because he loves how much Edge wants to talk about him.

If Edge keeps talking about him, the only thing people will say about Edge is how Rollins ended him. Rollins isn’t going to hesitate to pull the trigger the next time he has his boot on Edge’s neck. Edge says he lied about not putting his hands on Rollins so the beatdown is on, including the Impaler. Rollins bails from the threat of the spear, though he does leave his jacket in the ring. This was fine as a way to keep the build going for a match you know is coming.

Toni Storm vs. Zelina Vega

This is Storm’s full time debut. Vega is knocked outside to start but Vega sends her into the announcers’ table. Back in and a headbutt rocks Storm as commentary explains that she is stuck in the 80s. A sunset flip gives Vega two and she rips off Storm’s belt. That is too far as Storm grabs Storm One (starts off like Randy Orton’s backbreaker but flipped over into a cutter) for the pin at 2:34. Vega get in a lot here but Storm felt like a star, which is all that matters.

Jimmy Uso vs. Dominik Mysterio

Jey Uso and Rey Mysterio are here too. Jimmy decks him to start and a hard whip into the corner has Dominik in more trouble. An enziguri cuts off Dominik’s comeback and Jimmy does not seem impressed. Dominik gets in a quick drop toehold to load up the 619 but Jimmy bails to the floor. Rey deals with Jey and Dominik hits a dive as we take a break. Back with Jimmy kicking him down again as Rey gets knocked down. Dominik tries a springboard rollup but they get into completely different pages and seem rather lost. Jimmy finally stacks Dominik up with Jey giving an assist for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D+. The ending really hurt things as it looked terrible and they couldn’t figure out what to do. Thankfully the seemed to improvise enough to get to the finish but it isn’t likely to help Dominik’s already limited reputation. I’m sure we’ll get a title rematch out of this somehow, if nothing else due to the lack of other challengers for the Usos.

Here is Roman Reigns to answer John Cena’s challenge. The fans don’t seem thrilled to see him but he demands to be acknowledged. Cena acknowledged him at Money in the Bank but Reigns did not expect to see it. Reigns was expecting a new Cena but it was the same music, the same run to the ring, the same catchphrases and the same everything, just like it was 2005. Reigns: “It’s like missionary position. The same thing every day!”

That’s not how we do it at the head of the table and that’s not what we’re doing at Summerslam. The answer is no (makes sense, as Bobby Lashley said the same thing to Goldberg this week), but here is Finn Balor of all people to interrupt. Reigns wants Balor to acknowledge him, but that’s not why Balor is here. If Reigns says no to Cena’s challenge, how about Balor instead? Fans: “ROMAN’S SCARED!” Reigns: “Challenge accepted.”

Overall Rating: C+. This was a fine wrestling show, which is some pretty high praise after Raw. There were some good parts and there were some weaker parts, but above all else, there was nothing stupid on here and that made so much of a difference. It wasn’t about doing things that made little sense or seemingly sending some kind of message, but rather about setting things up and getting them done. I liked this show, and while it had some issues, that is a nice feeling to have again.

Results
Finn Balor b. Sami Zayn – Coup de Grace
Angelo Dawkins b. Chad Gable – Anointment
Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD
Toni Storm b. Zelina Vega – Storm One
Jimmy Uso b. Dominik Mysterio – Rollup with a push from Jey Uso

 

 

 

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