Royal Rumble 2018
Date: January 28, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Booker T.

The big night is finally here and for the first time ever we have two Royal Rumbles in one night. This time around we have a women’s version to go with the standard men’s version and that opens up the doors for a lot more surprise entrants. Of course it also opens the door for a lot more boring action if the last few Rumbles are any indication. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Drew Gulak/TJP/Jack Gallagher vs. Kalisto/Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado

Drew takes Kalisto down by the arm to start as the announcers talk about the upcoming 205 Live General Manager. That just earns a few chants from the crowd, which Gulak of course can’t stand. It’s off to Gallagher vs. Metalik with Gran working on the knee until Lince and TJP come in to complete each trio’s ring time.

The announcers discuss dabbing until the villains are all sent outside. The three masked men hit stereo moonsaults from the same turnbuckle (very cool) to the floor as we take a break. Back with TJP kicking Lince in the ribs and handing it off to Gulak, who drops Dorado’s partners off the apron. Now the announcers speculate on the next General Manager, which is much more focused than you would expect from these guys.

Jack cranks on Dorado’s leg as about half of the HUGE group of empty seats opposite the hard camera is filled in. But hey, at least we have a meaningless match going on an hour and a half before the rest show starts. Gallagher goes to the middle rope, pauses to listen to Gulak telling him not to jump, and then misses a dive anyway. The hot tag brings in Metalik for the rope walk into the dropkick to put Gulak down. The rope walk elbow works just as well for two as everything breaks down. Stereo dives take Gallagher and Gulak down, leaving the Salida Del Sol to finish TJP at 13:13.

Rating: C. Take any match between some combination of these guys that you might have seen on 205 Live and add five minutes to get this match. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to entice me to watch a pay per view but I’m sure WWE is smarter than I am on that front. Nothing special here, outside of that triple moonsault that is. This would have been fine as the only dark match but with two more, it could have been cut.

Kickoff Show: Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows

Rematch from Monday where Anderson and Gallows won, followed by the Revival getting destroyed by DX and Scott Hall. The Brian Pillman style trunks don’t really suit Revival but anything is better than Monday. Dawson gets sent outside to start for a breather before it’s Gallows tossing both of them around. Back from a break with Dawson working on Anderson’s knee with a string of elbow drops.

Wilder comes in to crank the knee even more but Anderson keeps kicking him away. Therefore, in a good tag team idea, Revival double teams him to keep the advantage. Now why is that so hard to figure out? Of course the hot tag goes through a few seconds later but at least they were trying. Everything breaks down and Gallows scores with a splash for two. Everything breaks down and the Magic Killer is broken up. Dawson sidesteps a charge to post Gallows and Dash’s chop block is good for the pin on Anderson at 9:11.

Rating: C. Well, it was better than Monday. I’m glad Revival won and now of course we’re likely to have the rubber match tomorrow night because WWE loves their trilogies. The leg stuff was fine here but the break in the middle didn’t do it many favors. At least the right team won though and that helps a lot.

Kickoff Show: Bobby Roode vs. ???

Roode is defending in an Open Challenge answered by….Mojo Rawley. The fans think Mojo sucks as he sends Roode into the corner and actually hammers him down as we take a break. Back with Mojo driving knees in the corner and grabbing a chinlock. Roode fights up and hits a running forearm, followed by a neckbreaker for two. There’s the Blockbuster but the Glorious DDT is countered into a spinebuster. Back up and another Glorious DDT is countered into a backdrop but the running punch is blocked. Instead it’s a regular DDT to retain the title at 7:37.

Rating: D. This could have been on any house show and that’s not good as the Kickoff Show main event. Roode doesn’t have a ton of challengers and a lot of that is due to how so few people were treated as important for the sake of Jinder Mahal. They need some kind of a feud going here and Rawley isn’t the kind of person to do that.

The opening video doesn’t say much out of the ordinary but it does a very good job of setting up the big matches while treating the Rumble win as a big deal. It’s very nice that they gave the match some shine for once because they haven’t exactly treated it like it matters up to this point.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

AJ is defending in a handicap match. The challengers do have to tag and it’s Sami starting for the team. No contact and it’s off to Owens, who hangs on the ropes instead of going after the champ. Sami is already back in as there’s almost no contact in the first minute and a half. AJ wrestles Sami down but it’s already back to Owens, who takes AJ down, runs to the floor and tags Sami back in.

That means a drop down into a dropkick for Zayn as Byron and Graves have ANOTHER stupid argument that completely ignores the match. There’s a backdrop for two on AJ as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Owens comes back in and unloads with right hands before sending AJ into the barricade. Almost all challengers so far. Owens gets in a double stomp and brings AJ into the corner for more right hands. An electric chair faceplant is good for two more and it’s off to the chinlock.

AJ fights up again and gets in a shot to Owens’ ankle, which was banged up on Smackdown in the first place. The Pele is enough to bring Sami back in but the Helluva Kick is blocked with a raised boot. Everything breaks down and Owens monkey flips Styles, who hurricanranas Zayn to the floor instead of crashing to the mat. The Calf Crusher has Owens ready to tap until Sami dives back in for the save.

Owens kicks AJ in the back of the head to knock him into the Blue Thunder Bomb, which of course only gets two (once in a lifetime you see). Another kick to the head puts Sami down this time and the springboard 450 is good for another near fall. They slug it out with AJ throwing Sami to the floor, only to eat a superkick from Owens. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a rollup though and AJ retains (pinning the illegal man) at 16:08.

Rating: B. About what was expected here as there’s only so much you can do when the participants have been treated as background characters. I’m glad Bryan and Shane were left out but the match has been booked to make them the stars, meaning this is likely to continue. Some good action here, but it wasn’t the most thrilling match in the world.

Wrestlemania XXXIV ad.

Sami and Kevin ask Shane what he’s going to do. They can’t have another referee screw Owens out of another title. Shane says that yep, he did indeed see that. Nothing else is said.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

The Usos are defending and this is 2/3 falls after Gable pinned the wrong Uso a few weeks back. In other words, the same ending as the previous match, again showing the limited creative abilities of WWE. Gable can’t hit a German suplex on Jimmy to start so it’s some chops to the chest in the corner. A distraction lets Chad get in a chop block though and Jimmy is in trouble early on.

Benjamin drives knees into the bad knee as the challengers start cutting the ring off for an old NWA feel. Shelton stops to yell at the crowd though and it’s an enziguri to cut him off. The hot tag brings in Jey, who dives through the ropes to take out both challengers in a row. Back in and Gable gets two off a tiger suplex (I haven’t seen that one in years), followed by a powerbomb to send Jey into Jimmy.

Pay Dirt gives Shelton two and the bug eyed look on the kickout is funnier than it should be. It’s back to Gable who moonsaults onto both champions on the floor but Gable can’t pin the illegal Uso. That means a superkick into the Superfly Splash for two in a surprise near fall. The double Superfly Splash is broken up so Gable loads up Rolling Chaos Theory.

That’s broken up as well and four straight superkicks end Gable at 12:21. Gable and Benjamin beat the heck out of both champs to start the second fall. A rolling Liger Kick hits Jey and Chad goes up, leaving Shelton to get small packaged to retain the titles in two straight falls at 13:47.

Rating: B-. That was kind of a surprising ending but it’s not like it really matters. The Bludgeon Brothers (who have kind of disappeared in recent weeks) are pretty clearly the next challengers and it should be a fun match when we get to it. I’m not sure what happens to Benjamin and Gable at this point but they’ve proven to be a good team who deserve more time.

Rumble by the Numbers video.

Jerry Lawler joins commentary for the Rumble.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals this year. Rusev is #1 (with Aiden English singing him to the ring) and Finn Balor (in red here) is in at #2 to a very strong reaction. Balor gets sent to the apron early on but gets back in without too much effort. Rhyno is in at #3 and gets in a showdown with Rusev that doesn’t go much of anywhere. Balor is back up and it’s Baron Corbin in at #4 to quickly eliminate Rhyno.

Finn is right behind Corbin though and gets rid of him as well, sending Corbin into a rage. That means Balor is pulled to the floor for a whip into the barricade (shoulder first) and End of Days on the floor to Rusev. Heath Slater is in at #5 and gets run over on the ramp. Everyone is down and it’s Elias in at #6, playing the guitar (and kicking Slater in the head) on the way to the ring.

It’s time for a song about spitting in the Rocky statue’s face but the countdown clock cuts him off. NXT Champion Andrade Cien Almas is in at #7 (running Slater over again as we have a running joke) and a running elbow puts Elias into the corner. The running knees rock Elias again but the hammerlock DDT is broken up. A hard clothesline drops Almas and it’s Bray Wyatt in at #8.

Naturally Slater gets laid out again and there’s a release Rock Bottom to Elias. Balor comes back in to break up Sister Abigail (again, thank goodness). Big E. is in at #9 and gives Slater some pancakes instead of beating him up. Bray is waiting on him with Cole saying Bray has been so dominating since entering. IT’S BEEN LIKE TWO MINUTES!

Rusev is back in but can’t get rid of Almas. Tye Dillinger is in at #10 (again), giving us Balor, Rusev, Slater (still not in the ring), Elias, Almas, Wyatt, Big E. and Dillinger. Actually hang on a second as we cut to the back to see Dillinger getting beaten down by Owens and Zayn. Sami is taking his place and continues the tradition by jumping Slater.

Sheamus is in at #11 and throws Slater in….who immediately eliminates Sheamus (on his BIRTHDAY). Bray dumps Slater almost immediately and it’s Xavier Woods in at #12. Woods and Big E. double team Sami and a wheelbarrow slam into a splash hits Elias. Rusev can’t get rid of Big E. and it’s Apollo Crews in at #13. Apollo gets in a good looking jumping enziguri on Bray as Byron is now anti-Zayn as he tries to show a personality.

Balor escapes Sister Abigail and it’s Shinsuke Nakamura in at #14. Sami is waiting on him in a Takeover: Dallas flashback as the fans sing Nakamura’s song. There are WAY too many people in there and some eliminations are needed. Nakamura fires off some kicks and it’s Good Vibrations for Elias. The running knee in the corner gets rid of Sami and Cesaro is in at #15, giving us Balor, Rusev, Elias, Almas, Wyatt, Big E., Woods, Crews, Nakamura and Cesaro.

Uppercuts abound without much happening and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #16 to put New Day at full strength. Cesaro cuts him off with an uppercut but Crews gorilla presses Cesaro….to the apron at least but he gets back in. Instead a shot to the back gets rid of Crews to thin the ring out a bit. Jinder Mahal is in at #17 and goes after Woods, who dropkicks him into the corner. Woods is dumped a few seconds later though and Mahal gets rid of Big E. as well.

Seth Rollins is in at #18 (now with flames on his tights) and gets rid of Cesaro in short order. Mahal sends Kofi over the top but he lands on Xavier….and then on a plate of pancakes. Big E. and Woods launch him from the floor over the ropes and over Mahal, who gets caught with Trouble in Paradise for the elimination. As the rest of New Day throws pancakes at Mahal, Almas hits the hammerlock DDT and eliminates Kofi in a pretty big upset.

Matt Hardy is in at #19 for a standoff with Bray, which is broken up by Rusev. Bray and Matt actually start working together and get rid of Rusev (the fans are NOT pleased) before fighting each other. They eliminate each other and it’s John Cena at #20, giving us Balor, Elias, Almas, Nakamura, Rollins and Cena.

Everyone jumps Cena at the same time in a smart move but then let him up, allowing him to AA Elias out. The Hurricane of all people is in at #22 (which Cole calls a superhero persona which was a huge hit with kids years ago) and tries a chokeslam but gets tossed out by Cena. Hurricane lands on the pancakes, nearly slips, and then does his pose over and over again on the way to the back. Aiden English is in at #22 and goes after Rollins before switching to Balor.

Adam Cole (with taped ribs) from NXT is in at #23 to a very nice reaction. Balor kicks English off the ropes for an elimination and it’s Randy Orton in at #24. An RKO drops Almas and there he goes after a strong performance. Things settle down a bit and it’s Titus O’Neil in at #25. Cole gets sent to the apron but slides back in, leaving Titus to chop Nakamura in the corner. Miz is in at #26 and starts fast with the YES Kicks, followed by a Skull Crushing Finale on Cena.

Lucky #27 is the returning Rey Mysterio to get rid of Cole in a hurry. The Miz takes 619 and it’s Roman Reigns in at #28. You can feel the pain from the booing. Reigns goes after Miz and hits the jumping clothesline, followed by the clotheslines in the corner. Titus gets eliminated but the Miztourage saves Miz from the same fate. Rollins Curb Stomps Miz but gets into a showdown with Reigns. A DoubleBomb gets rid of Miz but Reigns turns on Rollins to get rid of him as well.

Goldust is in at #29 and hurts himself headbutting Reigns. Cena gets beaten up as well and it’s Dolph Ziggler (POP) in at #30, giving us a final group of Balor, Nakamura, Cena, Orton, Mysterio, Reigns, Goldust and Ziggler. Goldust is out in a hurry and Balor kicks Ziggler out, making him one of the most inconsequential #30s in recent memory. Rey, Cena and Orton get together in one corner, Nakamura and Balor are in another and Reigns is on his own (how appropriate).

Balor takes a quick AA followed by the 619 to Reigns. There’s an RKO to Nakamura but Cena blocks another attempt. A Superman Punch lets Reigns get rid of Orton and a double 619 hits Reigns and Cena (with Cena loudly talking to Reigns while they wait). Balor throws Mysterio out to get us down to four meaning everyone goes to a corner.

We get the big staredown as the fans are behind Nakamura. Cena throws a You Can’t See Me at Balor and hammers on Nakamura while Reigns beats on Balor. That gives us the big showdown as the fans think they both suck. No one throws a punch as Balor and Nakamura get back up, giving us a much better received showdown. The running knees in the corner put Balor on the apron but he kicks a charging Nakamura in the head. Another kick to the head rocks Balor but he scores with a basement dropkick.

Reigns and Cena are back up again with Cena charging into a Samoa drop. The Superman Punch is countered with a ProtoBomb but the Shuffle is broken up with a Sling Blade. Balor hits the shotgun dropkick on Reigns but Nakamura kicks Balor in the face. Balor’s standing double stomp cuts off Kinshasa and Cena tosses Balor to get us down to three. Reigns slips out of an AA and hits the Superman Punch on Cena. The spear is cut off by the AA and Nakamura puts Cena on the apron.

A running kick to the face gets rid of Cena and we’re down to Nakamura vs. Reigns. That means COME ON and Reigns does so with a Superman Punch. Reigns sends him to the apron but gets kicked in the head but Nakamura grabs a hanging triangle over the apron. A powerbomb brings Nakamura back in and they’re both down again.

It’s Reigns up first but the spear is cut off with a kick to the face. A middle rope knee to the face drops Reigns but Kinshasa is hit with a spear to put them both down again. Nakamura grabs the ropes to hang on and another running knee drops Roman, setting up the elimination to give Nakamura the win at 65:32.

Rating: A. Best Rumble in years, though that’s not exactly saying much. The important thing here was they went with a popular name to win the Rumble, which has been lacking in recent years. Nakamura winning really surprised me as I never thought they would actually do it but I’ll take what I can get.

They laid the match out nicely here as things took a little time to get going but the final ten to fifteen minutes were excellent with the final six all being solid options. I wasn’t dreading this one at all and it made the match that much better. This was a lot of fun and the way the Rumble should go, with one of the best endings in a long time. Great match.

The Smackdown bosses are celebrating in the back when Stephanie McMahon and Kurt Angle come in to say Raw will win later. Daniel and Shane (buddies again) don’t seem to care.

Post match Nakamura is asked who he wants to face at Wrestlemania. Fans: “PLEASE SAY STYLES!” Nakamura: “AJ STYLES!”

There was a Royal Rumble to determine the next Colonel Sanders with Ric Flair winning. He has the wrinkles for it.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins

Rollins and Jordan are defending with Seth and Sheamus starting things off. Seth gets driven into the corner with Cesaro offering a distraction to keep Jordan away from interfering. Jordan is ready for the hot tag but Cesaro pulls him down (I thought that was the heel turn) and posts him into near unconsciousness. Back in and Sheamus’ top rope clothesline gets two as the double beatdown is on, made especially worse by Seth’s long Rumble run.

Seth finally sends Sheamus into the post to get it back to even, followed by a Sling Blade and Blockbuster. Sheamus comes back in for the save but Rollins drops both of them for a double frog splash. As Seth gets up, Jordan is STILL sitting on the steps, leaving Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick. The super White Noise gives us new champions at 13:03. Jordan was never in the match.

Rating: C-. This was an angle instead of a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. For some reason we seem to be waiting on Jordan vs. Rollins at Wrestlemania, even though that doesn’t quite blow my skirt up. The match was stuck in the cool down spot after the great Rumble and that was the right spot for it.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Basically you have three monsters fighting each other and breaking things to hurt each other, meaning it’s time to get violent.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Brock is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Strowman wastes no time in cleaning house, including a hard knee to Brock’s head. That’s fine with Brock who starts throwing punches, only to have Kane score with a chokeslam. Brock grabs a chair but Braun punches it away and drops everyone.

Shots with the steps clean house and it’s time for a pair of tables. Strowman chokeslams Kane for two with Brock making the save and it’s time for Suplex City. Braun pops up like a daisy and powerslams Brock through a table with Kane making the save this time. Kane is tossed away again (it’s almost like he’s completely unnecessary in this match until the ending) and it’s time for the announcers’ table.

Braun takes too long though and it’s an F5 to drive him through instead. Brock turns the other table over Braun (Corey: “I’m about to throw this German guy in front of me!”) and F5’s Kane through another. Braun gets up again and sends Brock into the steps, followed by the powerslam. Kane makes the save and sends Braun outside, setting up an F5 onto the chair to retain Brock’s title at 10:12.

Rating: B-. Well duh. The world knows that Braun is ready to be World Champion and should have been like six months ago but Vince McMahon and seemingly Vince McMahon alone wants to see Reigns take the title from Brock. Again, as has been the case many, many times: none of this is important because we’re just sitting around waiting on Reigns to take the title like we’ve been waiting for for nearly a year now. After that, I have no idea where they go and I’m not sure WWE does either. This was fun, but exactly as expected.

Trailer for Andre the Giant’s HBO documentary.

We get a video on the women’s Royal Rumble with a focus on the Revolution (and Stephanie of course) with everyone talking about how important this is.

Maria Menunos is guest ring announcer and Stephanie McMahon is guest commentator, with Cole reading off her resume (and saying Stephanie will tell you about her trailblazing). Alexa Bliss and Charlotte come out to watch at ringside.

Women’s Royal Rumble

Sasha Banks (in Wonder Woman gear) is in at #1 and Becky Lynch is in at #2 to give us a good start. Becky blocks an early elimination attempt and we talk about how nervous Stephanie is. The Bank Statement is broken up and it’s a double clothesline as Sarah Logan is in at #3. Logan clotheslines Becky down but Sasha makes a questionable save. Becky gets stomped down in the corner and it’s Mandy Rose in at #4. Mandy can’t get rid of Sasha and it’s LITA in at #5.

Sasha and Becky aren’t sure what to do so they opt with kicking her in the stomach. Mandy jumps Lita from behind and gets placed on the apron, followed by a hard shot for the first elimination. Kairi Sane is in at #6 and chops Lita into the corner as Cole talks about her “yacht persona”. She’s not Ashley Remington (bet you didn’t think I knew that one) because SHE’S A FREAKING PIRATE! Sane kicks Sasha down and drops the Insane Elbow, followed by another to Becky as Tamina is in at #7.

Lita starts hitting the Twists of Fate and hits a double moonsault onto Sasha and Becky (more like her falling backwards instead of any kind of jump but give her a break). That means the YOU STILL GOT IT chant before she eliminates Tamina, only to get dumped by Becky. That’s all this needed to be from Lita and it worked to perfection. Dana Brooke is in at #8 and actually dumps Kairi before stomping on Sasha in the corner.

Torrie Wilson is in at #9 (oh give me a break) and it’s time to prove why she wasn’t a wrestler. Logan dropkicks her down but Torrie pops up and eliminates Dana. Sonya Deville is in at #10, giving us Banks, Lynch, Logan, Wilson and Deville. Sonya starts firing off knees and gets rid of Torrie (thank goodness). Liv Morgan is in at #11 so the Squad can start getting together. No one is tossed though and it’s Molly Holly in at #12.

Molly gets rid of Logan and hits the Molly Go Round on Sasha. Lana is in at #13 and is immediately taken down by Morgan and Deville. She actually gets fired up and slaps her way to freedom as Michelle McCool is in at #14. That means an UNDERTAKER chant as she gets rid of Logan, Morgan and Holly. Sasha and Becky are down on the floor (not eliminated) as Michelle gets rid of Lana as well. With Michelle alone, Becky and Sasha get back in and it’s Ruby Riott at #15, giving us Michelle, Becky, Sasha and Ruby.

Vickie Guerrero is in at #16 and shouts EXCUSE ME over and over but everyone stares her down. She tries to bail and is tossed with ease (I guessed that as a comedy spot and it’s as perfect as I thought it would be). Carmella is in at #17 but Vickie takes the Money in the Bank briefcase to knock her silly. Natalya is in at #18 and throws her gear on Carmella, who pulls Natalya off the apron. That’s enough for Carmella to get in for some superkicks and it’s Kelly Kelly in at #19. Kelly fends off an early elimination as Natalya gets rid of McCool.

Naomi is in at #20, giving us Banks, Lynch, Riott, Carmella, Natalya, Kelly and Naomi at the moment. Becky goes up for some reason and gets dumped by Riott. Jacqueline is in at #21 and goes after Kelly. Nia Jax is in at #22, meaning it’s time to clear the ring. Jacqueline is out first, followed by Kelly with ease. Natalya is sent outside (through the ropes), leaving Nia to press Riott onto the top turnbuckle and then out to the floor. Naomi goes after Nia’s legs but tries a hurricanrana.

Nia knocks her off the apron but the pile catches her, allowing Naomi to land on the barricade. NXT Women’s Champion (with a bad arm) is in at #23 with a springboard kick to Nia’s face. Nia sends her flying as Naomi is walking across the barricade to steal Maria’s chair on wheels. She then crawls across the floor using her hands and the wheels on the chair….only to have Nia catch her coming back in and toss her out. I smiled at the irony. Beth Phoenix is in at #24 and this could be a lot of fun.

Phoenix is a lot closer to Nia’s size than I expected and manages a fireman’s carry but can’t eliminate Nia. Natalya’s help doesn’t work very well as they knock Nia through the ropes. That means a hug and of course Natalya turns on her and gets rid of Beth. Carmella (never eliminated) comes back in to jump Natalya from behind….and it’s Asuka at #25. There’s the hip attack to Carmella and it’s time for the showdown with Ember Moon.

Ember actually hits a one armed Eclipse but Asuka goes after the bad arm and gets rid of her. Sasha (also never eliminated) gets back in and it’s Mickie James in at #26. That goes nowhere and it’s Nikki Bella getting lucky #27 (well duh). That means the JOHN CENA SUCKS song but Carmella takes Nikki into the corner for the Staten Island Shuffle (not the Moon Walk Stephanie). Nikki powers her up though and a neck snap across the top rope gets rid of Carmella.

Brie Bella is in at #28 to save her sister from a big beatdown. The Bellas get their big moment (their latest one for those of you who have lost track) and knock Nia off the apron. A double suplex puts Natalya down and it’s Bayley in at #29. Asuka kicks Bayley in the head in short order but can’t get rid of her. It’s Trish Stratus in at #30 (not exactly shocking and that’s not a bad thing) to give us a final group of Sasha, Natalya, Nia, Asuka, Mickie, Nikki, Brie, Bayley and Trish.

Stratus gets to clean house and hits a double Stratusfaction before getting into a showdown with Mickie. James misses a charge and gets tossed, meaning it’s time for everyone to go after Nia. She shrugs them all off but the Bellas choke her on the ropes, allowing everyone else to join in and get rid of Nia. Sasha of course turns on Bayley for the elimination and we’re down to six.

Natalya puts Trish in the Sharpshooter for some reason and is broken up just as quickly. The Chick Kick eliminates Natalya but Trish mocks Sasha’s Boss pose, meaning the Stratusfaction is broken up to get rid of Stratus. Sasha turns around to meet Asuka but they decide to get rid of the Bellas….for all of three seconds until Sasha decks Asuka from behind. Sasha calls the Bellas off so she can beat on Asuka in the corner but the Twins dump her out as she tries the double knees.

So we’re down to the Bellas and Asuka and it’s time for the YES Kicks to both Twins (there’s a joke there that I’m not touching). Brie gets sent to the apron but Nikki decks Asuka, followed by the Rack Attack 2.0. Nikki decks Brie to get rid of her though and it’s down to two. Asuka is on the apron and hits a missile dropkick but Nikki’s spinning middle rope kick catches her in the face. Nikki puts her on the apron for the big forearm….which doesn’t end it. Instead Asuka grabs a headscissors to put Nikki on the apron but Asuka kicks kicks her in the leg for the elimination to win at 58:47.

Rating: B. I know a lot of people are going to be annoyed about the amount of legends (and the amount of botches) in there but my goodness what else were you expecting? The women’s division is about twenty people deep and I’d rather have people like McCool, Lita and Trish in there to give us either a good performance or appearances from people who are legitimate trailblazers (not McCool obviously but she did quite well). I was surprised by the lack of NXT names but what we got was fine, save for the Iconic Duo still not appearing.

The match itself was fine, albeit a bit predictable. You knew Asuka was the heavy favorite and really, it’s not like there were many other solid options. Aside from Jax, who really else was there? Banks or Lynch? Well maybe, but Asuka getting the title needs to be a big deal and one of those two can take the other title. Either way…..uh, back in a minute.

The champions get in the ring……AND BAD REPUTATION HITS AS RONDA ROUSEY IS HERE!!! Rousey, in a Roddy Piper shirt, points at the Wrestlemania sign and offers Asuka a handshake but Asuka slaps it away. Ronda also shakes Stephanie’s hand and high fives fans to end the show.

Oh and Stephanie’s commentary was annoying but acceptable.  She didn’t need to be there and added nothing at all but she could have been worse.  Sounded very much like a fan who wasn’t the most polished but it was fine.

Overall Rating: A-. I loved the heck out of this show as they made the Rumbles FUN. That’s been sorely, sorely lacking in recent years and they made up for it tonight. The Rumbles are interesting by definition but above all else, these matches were a good time as I kept waiting to see who was coming out next. I was actually worried about Reigns and Nikki winning so well done on some false drama. This did everything it needed to do, including setting up a major Wrestlemania match. I had a great time with this show and that’s what the Rumble is supposed to be. Well done all around and a great show.

Results

AJ Styles b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Rollup to Owens

Usos b. Chad Gable/Jason Jordan – Small package to Benjamin

Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Roman Reigns

The Bar b. Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan – Super White Noise to Rollins

Brock Lesnar b. Kane and Braun Strowman – F5 to Kane

Asuka won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Nikki Bella

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

YES!  YES!  YES HE IS!By that I mean Shinsuke Nakamura of course, who last eliminated Roman Reigns to win.  John Cena and Finn Balor filled out the final four.  The big surprise was Rey Mysterio with Hurricane as a comedy joke.  Andrade Cien Almas and Adam Cole were the NXT representatives.  No Daniel Bryan.

Also, Nakamura said he wanted to face AJ Styles, so the match seems to be made for Wrestlemania.

I was completely wrong about this as I never would have guessed Nakamura to win.  Some people said he would though and it turns out they were right.

Main Event
Date: January 18, 2018
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

It’s effectively the go home week for the Royal Rumble as next week is the big 25^th Anniversary of Monday Night Raw. Smackdown could still offer a few changes, but at this point there isn’t much more to be done aside from adding a few names to the Rumble matches. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Curt Hawkins vs. Rhyno

Rhyno runs him over with a shoulder to start and does it again with a clothesline but Hawkins…lays down. He knows he’s going to lose anyway so let’s just get it out of the way. That’s a trick of course and the small package only gets two. The chase goes a bit better for Hawkins as he stomps away, only to have the chinlock fail him. A TKO gives Rhyno a breather but Hawkins is right back with a clothesline of his own for two. Hawkins charges straight into a spinebuster though and the losing streak continues at 5:33.

Rating: D. This is the latest Rhyno vs. Hawkins match. Hawkins might not be anything great but his intros are funny and it could be a nice plot development for someone to lose to him. Either that or he loses to the Brooklyn Brawler on Monday and rage quits, which would be amusing enough as well.

We look at Braun Strowman ripping the set down to crush Brock Lesnar and Kane.

We see all of Strowman’s rampage from Raw, packed into one set of videos. He was fired, then he beat people up, then he flipped over a production truck, then he launched Michael Cole off a stage, then Stephanie McMahon solved everything in ten seconds.

Royal Rumble card rundown.

We look at Tuesday’s semifinal matches in the US Title Tournament.

From Smackdown.

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal

The title is vacant coming in, Roode’s ribs are banged up, there are no Singh Brothers and Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan are at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Mahal’s cheap shot to the ribs being cut off. They head outside with Mahal driving the bad ribs into the barricade and getting in a few more shots as we take a break.

Back with Mahal bending the ribs around the post and then slapping on an abdominal stretch (take notes Mojo). Some knees to the ribs keep Roode down and Mahal puts a knee in the back. You can’t fault the psychology here but you can fault the fans being dead bored after this lame show.

Roode gets two off a sunset flip but a superkick gives Mahal the same to keep him in control. Bobby finally sends him outside for a clothesline from the apron as the crowd is just gone here. Back in and Mahal rolls through a high crossbody for two of his own, followed by a Blockbuster for the same. Roode’s spinebuster plants Mahal again and the Khallas is reversed into the Glorious DDT to make Roode the champion at 15:44.

Rating: C. This was as exciting as Mahal working the ribs for about thirteen minutes was going to be. Roode winning was the only way they could go here with the story they were telling though and it’s nice to see Mahal fall further down the card. This win gives Roode a big marquee thing on his resume, though you can probably pencil him in for a defense against Ziggler at the Rumble. The match was watchable, but they had killed the show a long time before.

The bosses present Roode with the title to end the show.

TJP vs. Mustafa Ali

We start fast with an exchange of takedowns and reversals with TJP countering everything to very little avail. Ali misses a big kick and TJP nips up, only to be taken back down with a springboard armdrag. A spinwheel kick (good one too) drops TJP for two but he sends Ali into the corner and goes with the simple stomping. Ali is sent into the barricade and we take a break.

Back with Ali coming back with a few headbutts and the rolling X Factor for two. Ali puts him on top but gets missile dropkicked in the knee for a clever counter. The kneebar goes on in the middle of the ring but Ali makes the rope to fulfill the kneebar requirements. TJP charges into the post though and gets rolled up for the pin at 8:47.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting with both guys working hard and putting on a decent match when no one was going to be paying attention to it in the first place. Ali is another guy who can do a lot of good things in the ring and TJP is a talented guy, though I’m really not sold on the current losing streak deal.

Goldberg Hall of Fame announcement.

From Raw.

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Jordan, Gallows and Anderson are at ringside. Balor armbars him to start but gets armdragged away, followed by a kick to the back. Seth gets sent outside though and a kick to the chest puts him down as we take a break. Back (after a Raw moment of the 1-2-3 Kid pinning Razor Ramon in a huge upset) with Rollins hitting the Blockbuster but hurting his knee. It’s fine enough to try the suicide dive though and Balor is down again.

They get back inside with Rolling hitting a forearm to the back but having Balor slip out of the Falcon Arrow. The Sling Blade takes Rollins down, only to have Seth come back with his own. Balor gets in another Sling Blade but charges into a superkick for two. I really wouldn’t emphasize how they both use the same move like that but have it their way. The Wind-Up knee is countered with a forearm so Rollins enziguris him down. Seth has to roll through the Phoenix splash and gets caught with the shotgun dropkick in the corner.

The Coup de Grace is broken up with the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two more and both guys are down. Seth’s frog splash hits the knees though and Balor rolls him up for….two apparently but here’s the Bar to interrupt. The brawl is on at ringside with Anderson and Gallows fighting the Bar until Balor hits a flip dive to take all four out. Another kick to the head sets up the Coup de Grace but Rollins rolls away. Cesaro’s distraction allows Jordan to trip Balor and Rollins hits the curb stomp (WHERE IN THE WORLD HAS THAT BEEN???) for the pin at 15:18.

Rating: C+. Seth’s eternally present knee selling issues aside, this was the kind of main event match that always works. They were pushing the idea of the messed up fall quite a bit here and that leads me to think we’re heading for a rematch. I’m really not sure about the idea of Balor losing so soon after his renewed push but that’s WWE for you.

Overall Rating: C+. The stuff from the week’s show was good and felt eventful while the original matches weren’t bad at all. As usual, this show is up and down every single week and it’s really a guess about whether or not the show is going to be good. At least there was something this time though and that’s more than you get most of the time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Mixed Match Challenge Episode #1
Date: January 16, 2018
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Beth Phoenix

This is a new concept for WWE as they’re airing on Facebook for the first time ever. In this case we have a tournament of mixed matches with the winners earning money for a charity. There will be twelve episodes with twelve teams vying for the money with one match a week. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

No opening sequence here, which is quite the jarring difference.

Renee Young and Byron Saxton are on the floor as hosts.

We get quick vignettes from both teams, basically saying they’re going to win. They’re definitely assuming you’ve watched WWE before so this definitely isn’t treating the fans like a new audience.

We get some rapid fire vignettes from other teams, including Carmella eating pancakes and Nia Jax being presented with some lucky underwear.

First Round: Finn Balor/Sasha Banks vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Natalya

Nakamura has an old Jim Neidhart Hart Foundation jacket, complete with the big shoulders. The women start things off and Natalya bails into the corner. It’s quickly off to the men and Phoenix is already coming off as the best analyst WWE has had in years. They fight over a technical sequence and it’s an early standoff as they’re playing this as even. Neither can get much control off an armbar so Nakamura tells him to COME ON.

That means another standoff and Balor throws up the Too Sweet sign. The women come in again and Sasha hits her pose before slapping Natalya in the face. Something like an atomic drop and a basement dropkick give Natalya two but Banks is right back with the double knees in the corner (haven’t seen that one in awhile). Natalya bails to the floor so Sasha dives onto…Nakamura, who calmly puts her back on the apron. The second dive takes Natalya down but Sasha walks into the discus forearm, followed by the chinlock.

Hang on a second though as we need to look at Sami Zayn and Becky Lynch talking about the show. We hit the abdominal stretch with Natalya lifting the foot off the mat for some bonus pressure. Eh she’s a Hart so she should know this stuff. Sasha flips her away without too much effort and brings Balor back in to speed things back up.

Nakamura kicks Balor in the head though and hits the running knee for two. Kinshasa is countered with the Sling Blade but Natalya breaks up the Coup de Grace. Sasha throws Natalya outside but Kinshasa is countered again, this time with Nakamura being sent into the post. Stereo basement dropkicks set up the Bank Statement to make Natalya tap at 12:48.

Rating: C. And that’s the problem: there’s no real animosity here and they’re just having matches for the sake of having a match. It doesn’t help that it’s not exactly a thrilling concept and the match wasn’t anything we haven’t seen done better before. Balor and Banks winning makes sense as they’re a more popular combination, mainly because Banks actually has some charisma.

Next week: Big E./Carmella vs. Asuka/The Miz.

New Day is fired up and Carmella is in a washing machine.

Miz speaks English and Asuka shouts in Japanese before they both speak English (BECAUSE ASUKA CAN FREAKING SPEAK ENGLISH!).

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show well enough, but I’m not sure how long of a shelf life this is going to have. It’s not the most thrilling thing in the world, though there might be some interesting matches going on later in the brackets. The fact that it’s only about twenty five minutes an episode will do it A LOT of favors though as it’s more like something to do on Tuesday instead of something really important. Not bad, but totally skippable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 25, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

For reasons of “USA Told Us To Do It”, WWE presents a three hour Monday Night Raw on Christmas night. As a bonus, the first hour will feature no commercials, because if there’s one thing I think of when I watch Raw, it’s that there’s not enough material. John Cena is back for another one night shot so let’s get to it.

Speaking of Cena, here he is to open things up. Actually hang on a second as Cena says there’s something that needs to change. Cena goes outside and says someone is wearing the wrong colors. He takes off his hat and shirt and hands them to a kid with some sort of a disability who is wearing his old orange gear. And that is why Cena comes off as a superhero and is just flat out awesome to boot.

That earns a MERRY CHRISTMAS chant and Cena talks about how WWE is like a family. However, he wants to say cheers to the good and bad times, but cheers on a special day like today. Cue Elias to interrupt for his big spot of getting a rub from Cena. John actually agrees to walk with him but they get cut off by a CM Punk chant. Elias: “CM Punk ain’t gonna interrupt me.”

Cena says we need to have some fun tonight and grabs a chair so Elias can perform. The lights go down and Elias is about to play but the CM PUNK chants cut him off again. The song starts and of course it insults Chicago so Cena cuts him off and says hit the lights. Cena thinks Elias is the real jerk because he keeps insulting every city he’s in.

Elias thinks Cena might be right and offers to do the song again if Chicago will give him a second chance. He sings again and this time sings a rather nice version before handing it off to Cena for “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. Cena starts off but gets punched in the face for his efforts. Elias goes to leave but comes back to stomp away and challenges Cena to a match right now. A referee is fine with this and we’re ready to go.

John Cena vs. Elias

Cena, whose shorts look shorter than usual, gets hammered down to start but grabs a desperation headlock. Elias gets two off a release slam before tying Cena in the Tree of Woe. An Alberto Del Rio top rope double stomp gets another near fall but Cena avoids a second attempt.

Cena gets taken down again though and a Batista Bomb gives Elias another near fall. We hit the chinlock to eat up some more time with Elias even flipping forward to get Cena away from the rope. Back up and a hard clothesline gets two on Cena, which does so well that Elias does the same thing again for the same result.

Cena has to pull himself up using Elias’ body, earning himself another right hand to the face for two more. A quick STF has Elias in trouble but Cena doesn’t have it in full. Elias crawls to the ropes so Cena tries to grab it again, only to have Elias pop up for a jumping knee to the face.

That doesn’t even get a cover as Cena rolls outside before grabbing the STF again. This time Elias makes the rope but the damage seems to have been done. Something like a slow motion Drift Away gets two but Elias takes his sweet time posing. Cena pops up and initiates his finishing sequence. The AA is good for the pin on Elias at 16:08.

Rating: C+. Elias got in most of the offense here and that’s all you can ask for him here. No Elias shouldn’t have won here as it’s just a way to give the fans a feel good win and there’s nothing wrong with that. You have to imagine Cena will be around for the Rumble and he’s going to be a favorite so let him have a win to get some of his mojo back.

Cena salutes the kid in the crowd.

Samoa Joe video.

Jason Jordan comes in to see Kurt Angle but Seth Rollins cuts them off, saying he wants to face Samoa Joe tonight. In a repeat of the same thing he does every week, Jordan says he wants his match against Joe. Angle suggests that they team up to deal with the Bar first but neither seems interested. Kurt makes the match anyway and puts the titles on the line.

The two of them leave and Roman Reigns comes in. Angle gives him Joe tonight, with the Intercontinental Title on the line.

Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher are in the ring before Kendrick faces Hideo Itami. Kendrick laughs off the idea of being scared of Itami because the two of them are some of the finest competitors around.

Hideo Itami vs. Brian Kendrick

They forearm it out to start with Itami getting the better of it and demanding respect. Back up and a jumping knee to the face gives Kendrick two. We hit a cross arm choke on Itami but he’s back up without much effort. The tornado DDT into the neck snap across the top has Kendrick in trouble and a running corner dropkick makes it even worse. The GTS ends Kendrick at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Itami is a great striker but he doesn’t have the best fire in the world. Just shouting RESPECT ME over and over isn’t exactly going to make him the most popular guy, but at least he’s trying. Let him show off more of his strikes and see what he can do and maybe that’ll get him somewhere. As it is though, nothing all that special here.

Video on the announcement of the Women’s Royal Rumble, naturally with Stephanie getting most of the focus. Thankfully we do get some reactions from some of the women.

Mickie James, Sasha Banks and Bayley run into the very Christmas themed Miztourage. They sing some Miz themed Christmas carols. The ladies bail in a hurry.

Bayley/Mickie James/Sasha Banks vs. Absolution

Paige forearms Sasha in the face to start before it’s off to Mandy. Mickie comes in for a running forearm and it’s off to Bayley, who gets a heck of a reaction. It’s off to Deville who gets in her hard strikes, only to have Bayley take her back into the corner. The fight heads outside with Sonya hitting a heck of a clothesline to drop Banks and take over. The fans are happy to have Paige back in but it’s quickly back to Sonya for a hard knee.

We hit a bodyscissors for a bit before the villains take turns beating on Banks. The announcers continue to drool over Mandy (they have good taste) as she knocks Bayley and James off the apron to break up a hot tag attempt. As is so often the case though, Banks shoves her away a few seconds later, allowing the hot tag off to Bayley so house can be cleaned. Bayley starts throwing suplexes and even knocks Deville off the apron for good measure. A Bayley to Belly gets two on Paige as everything breaks down on the floor. Back in and the Rampaige ends Bayley at 10:14.

Rating: C. Absolution winning is the right call and they’re starting to establish themselves with more defined characters. I could go for Rose as more than the eye candy character but to be fair, what else is she supposed to do? Paige is a good leader and Deville is made to be the tough one so it’s not like the team needs many changes. Then again almost none of this matters until we get to the Rumble but at least the right team won.

We look at Dean Ambrose’s arm being destroyed last week. The injury may keep him out up to nine months.

Renee Young isn’t happy to interview Samoa Joe, who has no remorse for what he did to Dean last week. Joe is ready to take the Intercontinental Title when Reigns comes seeking vengeance.

Video on Kane and Braun Strowman becoming #1 contenders to Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble.

Kane vs. Heath Slater

Apparently Rhyno got Slater this match to toughen him up a bit. Merry Christmas buddy. Kane takes him into the corner for some knees to the ribs and there’s the side slam for good measure. Slater bails to the floor for a breather and a pep talk from Rhyno. As you might expect, Kane throws him right back to the floor and it’s time for more pep talking. Back in and Slater’s offense is shrugged off, setting up the chokeslam for the pin at 2:13.

Kane goes after Rhyno post match and a quick flurry is cut off by a chokeslam.

Here’s Curt Hawkins who has to tell himself to face the facts. 2017 hasn’t been his best year but the year isn’t over yet. How about a little Christmas miracle tonight? The open challenge is on.

Finn Balor vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins grabs a quick rollup for two and gets the same result off the same move. Balor calmly kicks him down and hits the Coup de Grace for the pin at 1:30.

The Miztourage sings to Goldust and throw in a DVD of Santa’s Little Helper. Titus Worldwide comes up and Goldust gives them the DVD.

Bray Wyatt talks about how Sister Abigail always hated this time of year. He’s ready to face the Woken Warrior because Matt Hardy is surrounded by the fireflies. Bray is here.

Wyatt heads to the ring but Matt runs in and the fight is on. A Twist of Fate misses and Bray bails to the floor. After threatening to DELETE Bray, Matt throws in some maniacal laughter.

The Bar isn’t happy with having to defend their titles but they’re ready to fight. Sheamus has a gift for Cesaro, including a char containing their catchphrase. The gift: a Dean Ambrose action figure with a missing arm! Cesaro has a gift for Sheamus as well: a Seth Rollins action figure which Sheamus can break just like the real one tonight. There’s more in the box too as Cesaro has gotten him a Jason Jordan figure too. Sheamus: “I don’t want this.” Cesaro says no one wants Jordan so it’s perfect.

Cedric Alexander gets his Cruiserweight Title shot next week.

Enzo Amore/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari vs. Akira Tozawa/Mustafa Ali/Cedric Alexander

Miracle on 34^th Street Fight but first Enzo (as Santa, with the other two as his elves) has to run his mouth about Cedric not getting a present on Christmas morning. Even though it’s a street fight, Daivari and Cedric start things off with Alexander cleaning house in short order. Tozawa and Ali take out Daivari and Gulak with dives as we take a break.

Back with Enzo whipping Tozawa back first into a Christmas tree. Tozawa remembers that he’s only fighting Enzo though, meaning the hot tag brings in Ali a few seconds later. The rolling X Factor gets two and there’s the 054 for two with Gulak making the save. Enzo’s candy cane kendo stick is taken away from him and begging off ensues. Gulak runs into Enzo by mistake, setting up a few stick shots to his back. The Lumbar Check ends Daivari at 7:49.

Rating: D+. So, again, why were the tagging in a STREET FIGHT? The match was about what you would expect here and the wrestling really wasn’t all that good. That being said, they did a decent enough job of setting up the title match with Alexander looking strong. This really didn’t do much for me though and felt rather forced, which isn’t the best idea during a comedy match.

Post break Enzo isn’t happy but runs into Nia, now with red and blue hair. It turns out they’re underneath the mistletoe and are about to kiss but Alexa Bliss runs in and needs Nia. Enzo doesn’t look happy.

Reigns is ready to hurt Joe for what he did to Ambrose last week.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe

Reigns is defending and punches Joe in the face at the bell. Joe gets knocked into the ropes and it’s the apron boot for good measure. Back in and Joe grabs a belly to back suplex for two but Reigns snaps off the corner clotheslines. A big boot drops Joe again but he’s right back up with right hands to take us to a break.

We come back with Reigns getting two off a Samoan drop but getting punched in the face some more. It’s already off to the Koquina Clutch but Reigns is just too close to the ropes for the break. Joe takes him outside and the suicide elbow drives Reigns into the barricade. Reigns comes up holding his elbow so we hit the armbar in a logical move. The hold is broken and Reigns unloads in the corner before shoving the referee for the DQ at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This feels like a way to set up a rematch at some point in the future, likely at the Royal Rumble. Joe vs. Reigns is a good feud and it’s made even better when you have two people who can beat the heck out of each other. Working on the arm made sense and tying it back to Ambrose’s injury is a nice idea. Good brawl here, but it’s clear that they’re setting up for something in the future.

Post match Reigns beats on Joe even more, including a steps shot to the arm. Joe avoids a heck of a chair shot and looks a bit shaken up while bailing.

Rollins tells Jordan to bring it tonight and Jordan is ready.

The Miztourage is in the ring to sing about their Secret Santa match. I think you know where this is going.

Braun Strowman vs. Miztourage

The goons are thrown around with ease and the running powerslam ends Dallas at 58 seconds.

Powerslam to Axel, powerslam to Dallas, powerslam to Axel.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat. She’s here tonight to give us the Gift of a Goddess because this has been her year. Bliss has dominated his year like a Jedi from Star Wars (unlike one from the DMV). That brings us to the announcement of the Women’s Royal Rumble, which Bliss takes credit for taking place. Cue Asuka to say she’s entering the Rumble because no one is ready for her. Bliss gets kicked down.

Brock Lesnar is back next week.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan

Cesaro and Sheamus are defending. Jordan wrestles Sheamus to the mat to start but the champs take him down with a double hiptoss. Rollins comes in off the hot tag and hits a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Rollins in trouble as the champs take turns beating him down.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Rollins fights up with some forearms to Cesaro’s head. That’s not enough for the hot tag though as it’s Sheamus cutting him off. A middle rope legdrop gives Sheamus two and we’re back in chinlock. Sheamus gets frustrated at Rollins fighting up again so Seth is sent outside for a clothesline from Cesaro. Jordan actually makes a save, earning himself a hard trip into the barricade.

Seth gets in a few shots but there’s no one to tag. Instead it’s the Irish Curse for two on Seth, followed by a hard knee to the face for the same. Jordan charges in for a save and the hot tag brings him back in. Everything breaks down and a pair of something like the Demolition Decapitators get two on Jason.

Cesaro unloads with right hands and a Brogue Kick takes Rollins down. The Cloverleaf sends Jordan scurrying over to the ropes and the champs are frustrated. Super White Noise is broken up though and Rollins takes Cesaro out to the floor. Back in, Jordan’s wheelbarrow neckbreaker is good for the pin and the title at 15:24.

Rating: C+. Well that was unexpected. I get the idea that it’s the first Christmas episode in twenty five years but that’s still not exactly something I would have guessed. It’s interesting to see where it’s going though and Jordan FINALLY has a win, albeit as a tag wrestler again (it’s almost like he shouldn’t have been moved out of his team in the first place). This is one of those things where I’m going to need more information, but at least it worked at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was a weird hybrid between a stand alone show that felt like something special and a show that actually advanced the stories. Then again, we have to get ready for the Rumble and they really don’t have time to burn off a show, even if it’s something like this. Hopefully people actually watched the show, but they’re going to be in a stretch to get much of an audience. Not a bad show though and better than I was expecting.

Results

John Cena b. Elias – Attitude Adjustment

Hideo Itami b. Brian Kendrick – GTS

Absolution b. Bayley/Mickie James/Sasha Banks – Rampaige to Bayley

Kane b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam

Finn Balor b. Curt Hawkins – Coup de Grace

Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali b. Enzo Amore/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari – Lumbar Check to Daivari

Samoa Joe b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns shoved the referee

Braun Strowman b. Miztourage – Running powerslam to Dallas

Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan b. The Bar – Wheelbarrow neckbreaker to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: November 30, 2017
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

Things have been changing around here lately with both Raw and Smackdown clips airing instead of just the ones from the red show that had been the case for so long. We’re also back to a normal week in WWE after the huge Survivor Series weekend last time around. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Apollo Crews vs. Curt Hawkins

Crews shoves him down a few times to start and grabs a headlock takeover for good measure. A slingshot hilo gets two but Hawkins sends him throat first into the ropes. We hit the reverse chinlock with a knee in the back until Hawkins heads outside to yell at Titus O’Neil. Hawkins gets two off a top rope elbow, only to get caught with an enziguri. The Toss Powerbomb gives Apollo the pin at 5:15.

Rating: D. I’m not sure how many times you can watch this match and still get anything out of it. We get the idea already but that’s not going to stop WWE from running the thing over and over again around here. Now that being said, it’s just Hawkins so does it really matter that much? I can’t imagine there was that much thought put into the thing, which should be the case.

From Raw.

Here’s Reigns to open things up. Last week was a big week for him as he and the Shield beat up New Day. Then he had an opportunity and we see a clip of him winning the Intercontinental Title. After the show was over, Shield came back out and put Miz through a table. This is his yard and this is the title so if you want it, come get it. Cue the Miztourage to say they know someone who wants the title. This brings out Elias of all people to say he wants the title. Reigns thinks it sounds like Elias wants to walk with the big dog, but after tonight he might have a neck brace like Curtis Axel.

And from later in the night.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. Elias

Elias is challenging. They trade shoulders to start with Elias getting the better of it and slapping on a reverse chinlock. Elias gets two off a clothesline and we hit a regular chinlock. Back up and the Miztourage offers a distraction so Elias can get in a hard knee for a near fall.

We come back from a break with Elias getting kicked in the face, only to have Reigns stop and take out the Miztourage instead of following up. The distraction lets Elias take Reigns down and drop a top rope elbow for a rather near fall. A sitout powerbomb gets the same but Reigns is right back with a Superman Punch for two of his own. Back up and the spear retains the title at 14:48.

Rating: B-. While the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt here, it was still a good, hard hitting match. They’re certainly protecting Elias at the moment and I’m not sure what to make of that. It would be nice if they had him actually win something but with the Intercontinental Title now basically the show’s World Title, he’s kind of stuck. But at least it was a good match.

Post match Samoa Joe sneaks in and chokes Reigns out. No Rollins for the save either, mainly because this was a Reigns singles match and not a Shield match. That determines who comes out for a save you see.

And again from Raw.

Paige/Mandy Rose/Sonya DeVille vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James

Alexa Bliss is on commentary……and there’s no Mickie or Bayley. Paige and company come out and laugh off the idea of Sasha having no partners. We cut to the back where Mickie is holding her shin and Bayley is holding her neck. Paige laughs this off and says she’s tired of hearing about her interfering last week. Last year, she was THE woman in WWE and helped erase the word Diva from WWE (we could have a tournament for everyone who takes credit for anything like this).

Now she and her friends, named Absolution (sounds like a bad perfume) are here to take things back. Rose and DeVille talk about how everyone has tried to be the next big thing but they remember how Paige started all of this. Paige offers Sasha a spot on the team but she forearms Paige off the apron. The beatdown is on in a hurry with everyone hitting a finisher. No match of course.

Now from the Smackdown counterparts.

Charlotte/Natalya/Naomi vs. Riott Squad

Yes Riott and no I don’t know why. During Charlotte’s entrance we see clips from Starrcade, WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN FREAKING BROADCAST ON THE NETWORK! Logan takes Natalya into the corner to start and scores with a clothesline. It’s off to Charlotte but that’s enough for Natalya, who walks out on the match less than a minute in. Back from a break with Charlotte fighting off the trio but getting caught by the numbers game on the floor. Morgan gets two off a floatover suplex and it’s off to Ruby for a chinlock. That leaves the other two Squad members to take Naomi down on the floor.

They send her hard into the steps and then bridge them over the barricade, catapulting Naomi face first into the steel. The best the referee can do is glare at them, making me wonder HOW IN THE WORLD THIS ISN’T A DQ. Seriously do they need to break out a pair of nunchuks and beat the stuffing out of Naomi before the match is called off? So it’s now three on one with Charlotte actually managing to fight them off for a bit. A spear hits Morgan in those impressive abs but Logan hits a knee from the apron, setting up the Riot Kick to the face for the pin at 9:12.

Rating: D+. The beatdown was impressive enough though none of them seemed capable of hanging with Charlotte or Naomi on their own. That already puts them a few steps back of Absolution (I can feel my brain melting as I write these names over and over) but at least they’re looking a bit more polished than people like Mandy Rose. Not a great match or anything but the divide and conquer strategy worked just fine.

Kalisto/Gran Metalik vs. Brian Kendrick/Jack Gallagher

Metalik headlocks Kendrick to start but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Kalisto comes in and cranks on the arm so it’s off to Gallagher. A whip sends Metalik outside in a heap and we take a break. Back with Metalik breaking away for the hot tag as everything breaks down. The Salida Del Sol is broken up but Metalik tags himself in and kicks Gallagher in the head. The rope walk elbow is enough to end Jack at 3:34.

Rating: D+. There’s not much to say about these things, though I still like Metalik more often than not. They have entertaining matches, even if it’s a match you can write out before it even starts. It’s also the standard Main Event idea: Gallagher and Kendrick would win this 9/10 times on 205 Live but they’re dead in the water on this show. Again it’s predictable but not the worst thing in the world.

Back to Smackdown.

Singh Brothers vs. AJ Styles

Before the match, Jinder Mahal attacks AJ, sending him ribs first into the post. After a break (and Mahal doing his standard promo), the match is on with AJ getting double teamed. The Brothers get in some shoulders to the ribs in the corner but AJ kicks them away without much effort. AJ knocks the two off them off the top, kicks Mahal in the face, and blocks a super hurricanrana attempt. He’s not done yet though as it’s a SUPER STYLES CLASH with one Singh landing on the other for the easy pin at 3:56.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much to see but it was exactly what it needed to be, especially with an awesome ending like that. Really, what else was AJ supposed to do against a couple of goons like this? Styles vs. Mahal isn’t an interesting story but at least Mahal has goons to send out there instead of having us watch the same match over and over.

Post match Mahal lays out the Singh’s, including a TERRIBLE looking Khallas to the second one. The guy’s head and back never came close to the mat as he basically bounced off his elbow (it looked even worse in slow motion). As I’ve said many times: Mahal just isn’t very good and that finisher makes things even worse.

And then to Raw to wrap things up.

Jason Jordan vs. Kane

Before the match, Jordan talks about how he’s an athlete and knew his knee was banged up last week. Kane actually gets powered into the corner a few times to start but the suplex is broken up. A hard toss sends Jordan outside where he comes up holding the knee again. That’s enough for a countout at 1:42.

Post match Kane stays on the knee until Finn Balor comes out for the save. They stare each other down and we take a break.

Finn Balor vs. Kane

Kane wastes no time in whipping Balor into the corner and we’re into an early chinlock. Balor dropkicks him outside and hits a dive as the announcers talk about what a big deal a win over Kane would be. Kane hits him in the ribs with a chair for the DQ at 2:44.

Kane beats on him with the chair and wraps it around Balor’s throat until Braun Strowman comes out for the save. A chair to the back has no effect on Strowman and the beatdown is on. Strowman destroys him with the steps and a chair, including a powerslam onto the steps. Kane gets his throat crushed on the chair and staggers into the crowd (probably looking for registered voters) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. All this show did was make you remember how hit and miss some of these shows can be. Raw and Smackdown weren’t exactly great this week and cutting them down to the clipped versions of the matches and ignoring some of the better stuff (Rollins vs. Cesaro from Raw for instance) isn’t the best idea. I do like them adding in more stories though as it makes the show feel more like a full on recap than anything else, which is a good idea. It really might be better to cut out one of the original matches though, just so the recaps don’t feel as crammed together.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I think you get this one as I look at why Balor isn’t working, which really makes no sense.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-balor-problem/

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 20, 2017
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re finally past Survivor Series and that means it’s time to start the build towards Royal Rumble. Unless there’s another show to be announced, the only pay per view between now and the Rumble is the Smackdown exclusive Clash of the Champions. That could make the next few weeks slightly uninteresting but that’s never stopped WWE before. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a happy, dancing Stephanie to open things up. Graves: “At least she’s humble too.” She recaps the siege and says Kurt Angle’s job as GM is secure. With that, she brings out the man who lead the team to their win last night: HHH! Before HHH can say anything though, here’s a livid Kurt Angle to interrupt. He’s not talking as the General Manager but the man who can beat HHH up. Stephanie gets all serious and reminds HHH that he’s talking to the COO.

The staredown continues and here’s Jason Jordan to interrupt as well. Booker: “Oh come on.” Jordan gets in HHH’s face but Angle holds him back. Jason wants to face HHH tonight but Stephanie warns Jordan that he’d get killed in a match like this. Stephanie: “HHH isn’t afraid of anyone in that locker room.” This of course brings out Braun Strowman to get right in HHH’s face as well. HHH stares him down but backs off and leaves. Stephanie makes Jordan vs. Strowman for later. She didn’t cut Braun’s balls off here and at least they kept this relatively short, even if Stephanie didn’t need to be out there.

Samoa Joe vs. Finn Balor

Joe wastes no time with the right hands to the jaw before dropping the backsplash. We’re in a very early nerve hold as the fans are split here. Joe heads up top but gets kicked in the head to take him back down. Of course that means a flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Joe slapping on another nerve hold until Balor gets in a kick to the head. That’s fine with Joe, who drops Balor back first onto the apron.

A suicide elbow sends Balor into the barricade as this is mostly one sided so far. Back in and Balor can’t hiptoss him so he’ll try a Sling Blade instead. Joe is right back with a backsplash for two but the Koquina Clutch is countered into a regular double stomp. That means the Coup de Grace but Joe pulls him right back down, setting up the Koquina Clutch for the knockout at 12:03.

Rating: B-. So what is Joe supposed to do? He’s not getting back in the World Title picture because Lesnar isn’t likely to be wrestling until January and he’s kind of too big to go after the Intercontinental Title. The same is kind of true for Balor, which makes the next month or so kind of a big waste of time until we get to the Rumble.

Video on the Wrestlemania Kickoff Party with tickets going on sale. I picked mine up last week and get to go to my third in a row and fourth in five years. There really is nothing like it.

Video on AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar from last night.

Angle and Jordan talk in the back with Kurt saying he won’t cancel the match with Strowman. Jordan agrees, because he’s the only man on Raw that can beat Braun.

Asuka vs. Dana Brooke

Dana kicks her in the ribs to start but some hip attacks send her outside. A charge only ears Dana some kicks to the face and for some reason she slaps Asuka in the face. Some HARD spinning elbows to the face set up some harder kicks tot he head for the pin at 2:35. Total squash, as it should have been.

It’s time for MizTV with the Miztourage having Miz’s back and Roman Reigns as the guest. Miz introduces Reigns three times before the music hits and it’s the entire Shield. Miz isn’t cool with the bonus guests but Seth Rollins talks about being the most dominant trio in the history of WWE. That’s cool with Miz, but he wants a thank you. Reigns says no so Miz goes into a story of Ambrose needing help fighting off the Miztourage. Miz isn’t cool with this….and the lights go out for a second.

That goes nowhere (seemed to be a glitch) so Rollins starts talking about winning the Tag Team Titles back. Reigns doesn’t want to be the only one without a title so Seth points out the Intercontinental Title on Miz’s shoulder. That sounds good to Miz and the fans are WAY into this idea. The Miztourage gets in front of Reigns and the beatdown takes all of one punch and a Dirty deeds. They throw in a TripleBomb to Dallas for fun as Miz protests from the aisle.

We recap the opening sequence.

Strowman is ready to face Jordan because Jason isn’t scared of him, unlike HHH.

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean armdrags him into an armbar to start but has to block the forearms to the chest. For a change of pace, Dean hits some forearms of his own. A big boot sends him outside though and we take a break. Back with Sheamus grabbing a Brock Lock and getting two off a powerbomb. A missed charge sends Sheamus into the post but he’s still able to fight out of Dirty Deeds.

Sheamus blocks a suicide dive, only to miss the Brogue Kick and get knocked outside. NOW the dive works and Dean heads up top but has to kick Cesaro away. A super Regal Roll gives Sheamus two but Seth charges into the ring and dives onto Cesaro. That’s enough of a distraction for Ambrose to grab Dirty Deeds for the pin at 11:49.

Rating: C. I’m a bit sick of seeing these teams fighting, though it does make sense to have the Shield guys get another title match after the way they lost the belts. Sheamus and Cesaro have grown on me as a team as well and I actually don’t mind watching them most of the time. This match was acceptable enough, though nothing we haven’t seen before.

Jordan asks Matt Hardy for advice against Strowman. Hardy has fought a lot of monsters over the years and none of them were like Braun. Basically, it’s not Jordan’s night.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat. She’s disappointed in losing to Charlotte last night but this is still her year. There isn’t a single person alive who can beat her….so here’s Mickie James. After the usual insults (about biscuits), here’s Bayley to interrupt, saying the year isn’t over yet. Sasha Banks and Alicia Fox come out to say the same thing. Kurt Angle, four way, let’s go.

Alicia Fox vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Mickie James

One fall to a finish and the winner gets a title shot at some point. Joined in progress with Fox running Bayley over but getting caught in the Bank Statement. Bayley makes the save….and PAIGE IS BACK. She says she’s not here to interrupt (Then what was she doing???) but she’s not alone. Cue Sonya DeVille and Mandy Rose from NXT to interrupt and jump Bayley, drawing the no contest at around six minutes. There was barely two minutes of action though so no rating, but this was a heck of a debut and a MUCH needed face lift for the division.

The villains clean house with ease as Fox bails.

Post break Paige introduces us to her new friends. Alexa Bliss comes up, says a nervous hello, and gets destroyed.

Jason Jordan vs. Braun Strowman

Jordan tries to go with the wrestling stuff to start but gets caught without too much effort. He manages to lift Strowman off his feet but Strowman takes him down and tosses him outside. Jordan’s knee is banged up again…and here’s Kane to go after Strowman for the DQ at 1:44.

Kane destroys him with a chair and crushed Strowman’s throat with it. Strowman can’t breathe but walks off under his own power.

Here’s Enzo Amore, flanked by a quartet of cruiserweight villains. We’re coming up on Thanksgiving so Enzo wants to know what each member of the Zo Train is most thankful for. Enzo answers for them: Noam Dar gets more women, Tony Nese has more abs, Ariya Daivari has more money and Drew Gulak has more people viewing his PowerPoint presentations!

Drew talks about infrastructure but here are Rich Swann, Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali and Akira Tozawa to interrupt. Enzo thinks they want on the Zo Train but Cedric says not so fast. What they want is a shot at the Cruiserweight Title and they’re willing to earn it. Enzo says get out of his way but Swann says without his boys, Enzo is just a catchphrase and a t-shirt. The brawl is on with Enzo bailing as we take a break.

Drew Gulak/Noam Dar/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari vs. Rich Swann/Cedric Alexander/Akira Tozawa/Mustafa Ali

Joined in progress with Swann fighting back on Drew but not being able to hit his version of Rolling Thunder. A near brawl on the floor sends Enzo running through the ring and allows Gulak to knee Swann in the face to take over. Daivari comes in for a chinlock before it’s off to Dar. Swann gets in a kick to the face and it’s off to Tozawa for a suicide dive. Ali tags himself in as Cedric hits the Neuralizer, setting up the 054 for the pin on Dar at 4:16.

Rating: C-. So you know how you’ve seen these people have the same match on 205 Live for months now? Well you just got an eight man version of it here. Really there’s nothing to talk about with this one as it’s the five heels vs. the four heroes for a shot at Amore’s title, which may or may not take months to reach. I was hoping for a new name to debut here, or at least set up an official challenger. The match was fine, but 205 Live’s storytelling leaves a lot to be desired.

We recap Strowman vs. Kane.

Angle says Strowman has left the building without receiving treatment. He goes to check on Jason but Miz interrupts. Miz complains about the match with Reigns and wants the title match dropped. The match won’t be canceled and Miz leaves. Jordan seems scared of Strowman.

Here’s Elias, who calls himself the reaper of souls. He has a song about Raw winning last night but the fans cut him off with a LET’S GO ASTROS chant. The song insults Matt Hardy a bit so here’s Matt, with a banged up elbow. The fight is on before Matt can say anything with Elias bailing from the threat of a Twist of Fate.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and seems willing to take an early countout. That’s not cool with Reigns, who chases him to the floor and hits an uppercut to the jaw. A Batista Bomb gets two on the champ and we take an early break. Back with Reigns hitting his running clothesline, followed by a big boot to the jaw. Miz is smart enough to bail again and catches Reigns diving off the steps.

A DDT on the floor is nearly good enough for a countout but Reigns dives back in. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Miz hits a corner dropkick. Another is countered with a big boot, only to have Miz knock him down a few more times. It’s off to the YES Kicks until Reigns fights up without much effort. The Superman Punch is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale but Reigns slips out.

Miz sweeps the leg for two though and Reigns is favoring his knee. The Superman Punch knocks Miz out of the air for a VERY close two though as the fans are impressed with the kickout. The spear is loaded up but cue the Bar for a distraction, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale to connect….for two. Ambrose and Rollins run out to even things up, allowing Reigns to hit a spear for the pin and the title at 16:26.

Rating: B-. They were doing some good stuff out there and I like Reigns winning the title. Earlier on I mentioned people like Balor and Joe having nothing to do because they were bigger than the Intercontinental Title. They’re not bigger than Reigns though and that gives them a bigger target to go after. Good move here, even if it’s two to three years after Reigns should have won the thing in the first place.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some rocky points here but above all else, WWE did what they needed to do by having some important changes. The women being added helped a lot and, assuming they don’t botch it immediately, there’s a good idea in having Reigns as Intercontinental Champion. I’m not sure what they’re going to do with the Angle/HHH/Braun stuff but we can worry about that when we get to shows a little more important. This week did its job and I like what they’re going for at the moment, even if I have no confidence in it lasting.

Result

Samoa Joe b. Finn Balor – Koquina Clutch

Asuka b. Dana Brooke – Kick to the head

Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus – Dirty Deeds

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox vs. Mickie James went to a no contest when Paige, Sonya DeVille and Mandy Rose interfered

Braun Strowman b. Jason Jordan via DQ when Kane interfered

Mustafa Ali/Cedric Ali/Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa b. Tony Nese/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari/Noam Dar – 054 to Dar

Roman Reigns b. The Miz – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Tables Ladders and Chairs 2017
Date: October 22, 2017
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

Now this one has my attention as the card has almost been thrown out the window due to a string of medical issues. AJ Styles is replacing Bray Wyatt to face Finn Balor, but in a bigger story it’s Kurt Angle’s first WWE match in over eleven years as he replaces Roman Reigns in the show’s namesake match. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Alicia Fox vs. Sasha Banks

Rematch from Raw. Fox bails to the floor to start before taking her down and grabbing a way too early chinlock. Sasha fights up and knocks Alicia outside and we take a break without much having happened so far. Back with Fox messing with Banks’ hair and shoving her off the top in a heap. Alicia pulls at her hair a bit and it’s mostly one sided so far. Back in and Fox slams Sasha right back to the floor but there’s no immediate count. Fox to the fans: “EVERYBODY HELP THE REFEREE DO HIS JOB!”

A backbreaker gives Fox two and Booker compares her to the Missing Link of all people. Sasha kicks her to the floor without much effort and a headscissors takes Fox down back inside. Another backbreaker has Banks in trouble but only for two, meaning Fox screeches a lot. Not that it matters as the ax kick misses and it’s the Bank Statement makes Fox tap at 10:12.

Rating: D+. So we had a short match on Monday and now a longer match tonight. I still have no reason to believe that Fox is in Banks’ league and it’s kind of a waste of time to make this work at all. Fox isn’t going to beat Banks anytime in a competitive match but the fans went nuts for Sasha’s entrance, which is the point here.

The opening video looks at all of the changes to the card with a focus on Angle, as you would probably expect. The rest of the card gets a shorter look.

Emma vs. Asuka

Asuka is making her main roster debut and the fans are VERY excited for her entrance. An early cross armbreaker has Emma in early trouble and the hip attack puts her down again. Asuka can’t get the ankle lock and Emma kicks her down for two, meaning it’s time for the confidence to start. A hard shot to the back gives Emma two more and the fans are all behind Asuka.

Emma slaps on a seated full nelson but makes the mistake of slapping her in the face. That earns Emma a sliding knee to the face, only to have Emma hit a sliding kick of her own for two. It’s time for the pain though as Asuka snaps off a German suplex, only to have Emma head outside and pull Asuka outside by the hair. Not that it really matters as Asuka kicks her in the head and slaps on the Asuka Lock for the tap out at 9:21.

Rating: B-. That’s the most obvious ending of the whole match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Asuka was a killer here and, despite Emma getting in more offense than I was expecting, she looks like someone who is going to be a star for a long time. Now if only I could believe that WWE won’t manage to screw her up.

Miz gives the Bar a pep talk until Strowman comes in to yell at them. Kane comes in as well and promises to turn the main event into a nightmare.

Here’s Elias to talk about how awesome he is and play a little song. As he’s playing though, vegetables are thrown into the ring by….Jason Jordan. This goes nowhere and is as fillerish as you can get.

Jack Gallagher/Brian Kendrick vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann

Kendrick has turned Gallagher evil and they targeted Alexander. Swann came in to help out his buddy. Cedric and Gallagher start things off but it’s already off to Swann to speed things up (not the worst idea when you need a shot of adrenaline) with his flips. Jack is sent outside where he trips Cedric, only to be taken down by a Swann flip dive from the apron. Cedric isn’t about to be outdone and hits a flip dive of his own over the top.

Back in and Kendrick cravates Swann to slow things down and Rich is sent head first into the buckle. Swann escapes a belly to back and brings Cedric in off the hot tag. Cedric cleans house, including a spinning kick to Gallagher’s head. Kendrick takes him outside and scores with a northern lights suplex, to put Cedric in trouble. Back in and the Captain’s Hook is broken up as Swann drops a Phoenix splash. The Lumbar Check ends Kendrick at 7:57.

Rating: C+. It was fun, but this was something you could see on almost any given episode of 205 Live. They flipped around and did their thing for about eight minutes but that doesn’t make it anything too fancy. The story is standard and that’s really all there is to say about it. It’s not going to help 205 Live that much but these guys deserve a little spotlight.

Alexa Bliss thinks Mickie James is only mad at her over the age jokes, but the truth is that Bliss idolized Mickie growing up. Mickie has gone toe to toe with Hall of Famers, but after tonight the good old days will just be old.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and headlocks Bliss to start, much to the champ’s annoyance. Bliss pulls the hair to escape a few times before snapping Mickie’s arm across the top rope. That means it’s time to rip at the arm and slap on an armbar for good measure. You can feel Bliss’ confidence here, which is exactly how this story should go. A near fall only frustrates Bliss more and Mickie fights out of the corner with a good looking hurricanrana.

They slap it out until a forearm from Bliss and a high kick from Mickie connect at the same time. It’s Mickie getting the better of it and hitting some running forearms. Bliss goes to the arm again but Mickie slugs her down and nips up. Mickie gets crotches on top but Twisted Bliss only hits mat. A bad looking missile dropkick gives Mickie two but Bliss seems to be hurt. Mickie goes for it of course and gets pulled shoulder first into the corner. Bliss adds the DDT to retain at 11:30.

Rating: B. I liked this one more than the opener and I’m only somewhat surprised by that. Bliss is getting better in the ring and she’s getting that DDT over as a finisher. Of course I can’t imagine her holding the title by the end of the Royal Rumble as Asuka should win the belt in the near future but we can enjoy Bliss while she lasts.

Post match Mickie says she’s disappointed but she’ll be back. We get a thank you to the fans and Mickie is out.

Angle is getting ready in the back when Ambrose and Rollins come in. They’re ready for the match but have a gift for Angle: his own riot squad gear. Angle says he’s in all the way.

Here’s Elias to try his song again but one more time he’s delayed by Jordan throwing vegetables, this time from a shopping cart. Even Graves mentions that we’re filling time.

We recap Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto. Enzo won the Cruiserweight Title last month but Kalisto won it in a big surprise. That wasn’t cool with Amore, who said that he was the only real star in the division. Tonight is the rematch.

Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto

Kalisto is defending. Before the match, Enzo, with a hoarse voice, does his usual shtick and says he’s not going to be one of those people who stands around while everyone else gets whatever they want. Enzo bails into the corner to start and the chase is on with Kalisto grabbing a headscissors for his first big offense. Another spin sends Enzo bailing to the floor and we hit the stall button. Back in and Enzo sends him head first into the top turnbuckle to take over for the first time.

A hard kick to the ribs keeps Kalisto down and there’s the baseball punch for two. We hit the chinlock with Enzo grabbing the mask to pull Kalisto right back down. Kalisto finally fights back up and sends him hard into the corner, followed by a springboard seated senton. Enzo gets two off a middle rope DDT but the Jordunzo is broken up. Not that it matters as Enzo pokes him in the eye and hits the Jordunzo for the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D+. Well duh. This was only slightly less obvious than Asuka winning as they were just trying to make Enzo sweat a bit before becoming a two time champion. Hopefully they can have other people get title shots now but otherwise, we could be in for some stretchy booking to keep him defending the title. Enzo remains a necessary evil, but that doesn’t make him any easier to sit through.

Post match Enzo thanks himself.

The announcers give all the preview they can for AJ Styles vs. Finn Balor. There’s no story here but they had to give us a huge match with so many last minute changes. For once, this actually lives up to the term Dream Match and that’s a nice change of pace.

Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles

Balor is the Demon and the fans are split here. A lockup goes nowhere so they trade shoulders for no advantage either. They try a technical sequence and it’s a standoff as the fans are very pleased. Balor goes to the apron and scores with a kick to the head, setting up a kind of awkward sequence where Balor didn’t seem to realize that AJ was on his stomach and tried to cover.

It’s a surfboard instead though with Balor starting in on the leg. Back up and AJ catches him with a hard forearm, followed by a slingshot Phenomenal Forearm for two. The fans are split as Balor comes back with a series of shots in the corner, including a hard shot to knock AJ off the top and to the floor. That means a big flip dive, which the fans think is awesome. Back in and Balor scores with the Sling Blade but AJ grabs the fireman’s carry backbreaker to cut him off.

The Styles Clash is broken up so it’s a belly to back faceplant to give AJ two of his own. Now it’s Balor back up and stomping away in the corner, followed by a running kick to the face. That just earns Balor the Calf Crusher until he has to grab AJ’s head and slam it into the mat for the break. The Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up again but this time it’s Balor shoving him off the top for a big crash to the floor.

Balor follows him up with a running dropkick to send AJ into the barricade, only to have AJ drive him over the announcers’ table. They dive back in at nine and stereo crossbodies put them both down. The Phenomenal Blitz staggers Balor but he’s right back with the Pele to give us another standoff. A reverse implant DDT takes AJ down but a Pele cuts off the Coup de Grace. AJ isn’t about to be outdone so it’s a super springboard hurricanrana. He misses the springboard 450 though and the shotgun dropkick puts AJ in the corner. The Coup de Grace ends AJ at 17:54.

Rating: B+. This was the only option they had with all the changes. WWE had to deliver something special and that’s what they did with something that actually lived up to the dream match moniker. Balor winning was the right call as there’s no point in not giving the Raw guy a rub on the Raw show. It’s also a very good match with both guys looking like stars the whole way through. WWE did what they could here and that’s very nice to see for a change.

They shake hands post match and we get the TOO SWEET that will be talked about to a completely unnecessary degree.

Elias is out here a third time and this time he’s in the ring. At least there’s a match this time around.

Jason Jordan vs. Elias

Bonus match. Jordan wastes no time in powering Elias down to the mat so Elias shoves him in the face. Elias bails to the floor for a breather, followed by a headlock back inside. Something like a powerslam takes Elias down but Jordan gets sent hard into the post. Elias grabs a seated abdominal stretch as Booker changes his mind on Elias in the span of a minute. A regular abdominal stretch keeps Jordan in trouble until he powers Elias into the corner.

There’s the belly to belly and a swinging Saito suplex gets two more. Jordan can’t hit the belly to belly superplex so Elias slams him into the corner instead. Elias tries a suplex but gets reversed into a small package. Jordan lets him go at two but the referee counts the pin anyway at 9:54. It looked like Elias’ shoulder was up and Booker is borderline livid.

Rating: D. Standard Raw match here but they had to fill in the time with something. Jordan winning that way seems to set up another match down the line (by which I mean tomorrow night) but at least they seem to be pushing someone. Now of course watch them have Elias win the rematch and make this a big waste of time.

Quick video on Angle’s career, followed by a recap of the main event. The Shield members were dealing with Miz and company and decided there was strength in numbers. Ambrose made the mistake of saying the team could face three, four or five men so Miz took him up on it. Then Reigns got sick so Angle is taking his place.

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins/Kurt Angle vs. Miz/Braun Strowman/Kane/The Bar

Tables, ladders and chairs but you win by pinfall or submission. Angle is in Shield gear for a nice touch and it’s Rollins diving on the pile, allowing his partners to grab some chairs and take over to start. Strowman gets chaired down and Kane gets the same treatment, allowing Ambrose and Rollins to hit stereo dives. Sheamus and Cesaro remember that they’re in the match and save Kane from going through the announcers’ table.

The Shield guys take over again though and Kane is set on the table, only to have Strowman fight back. Rollins saves Kurt from going through a table and Strowman is chaired down again. It’s double ladder time with Strowman and Kane being laid on the tables, setting up a splash and elbow drop for the first big spot of the match. With everyone else down, Angle throws Miz back inside but gets met by Cesaro and Sheamus. Ambrose and Rollins get back in to break up the TripleBomb, leaving Angle to roll some German suplexes on Miz.

Cesaro and Sheamus take one each as Angle is all fired up. Speaking of fire being up, Kane sits up but gets taken right back down with an ankle lock. Strowman makes the save and it’s a running powerslam through a table to knock Kurt silly. The villains come back with chair shots and it’s Angle being taken to the back by medics, only to fall to his knees in the aisle. Booker actually rants about how selfish Angle was as Rollins is thrown head first into a chair in the corner.

The beating continues for a good while as the fans want Lesnar. Ambrose and Rollins try to fight back and Kane accidentally chairs Strowman. For some reason the Shield guys break it up, which is enough to end the brawl. It’s table time but the double Razor’s Edge sends Ambrose bouncing off the table in a SICK crash. Miz has the Bar take Rollins up the ramp and it’s a garbage truck backing into the arena. Ambrose and Rollins fight out of the truck though and hit dives onto everyone but Miz in the big hope spot.

Kane gets beaten down but Strowman is back up to stop a suplex through a table. For some reason Kane slugs away at Strowman, setting up a chokeslam through the stage. Strowman is still getting up so Kane grabs the chairs hanging from the ceiling and pulls about eight of them down, burying Strowman on the floor. Kane isn’t done yet and chokeslams Ambrose and Rollins onto tables (neither breaks AGAIN). The Bar helps carry them to the truck…and Strowman is up.

Miz begs him to stop but Strowman takes out all of his partners, setting up the fight with Kane. Everyone gets together and Strowman is thrown into the truck, which turns on. Rollins is thrown back into the ring and it’s Miz/the Bar doing the Shield entrance. A springboard assisted White Noise plants Seth but Dean makes the diving save at two. Kane calls for a chokeslam….and here’s Angle back again.

The Bar takes Angle Slams on the floor but Kane takes him down with a clothesline. Ambrose and Rollins come back in with chairs before driving Kane through the barricade. The Skull Crushing Finale takes Angle down from behind for a heck of a near fall. The ankle lock has Miz in trouble but Miz sends Kurt outside for the break. Rollins gets back in for the wind-up knee into Dirty Deeds into the Angle Slam and Miz is basically done. The TripleBomb is good for the pin at 35:23.

Rating: A-. WOW. I’m really not sure what to say about this but I think we can call it the most ridiculous, insane, over the top and crazy entertaining match that will mean a grand total of nothing in recent history. I mean…..THEY PUT A MAN IN A GARBAGE TRUCK AND CRUSHED HIM! LIKE SHREDDER IN TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! And that’s not even the first time someone has used a large truck to try and destroy him this year!

The match was a complete over the top mess and that’s all they could do here. Instead of trying to have a match (which would have been ridiculous given how one sided it was on paper), the whole thing was just a chaotic mess and that’s the best possible outcome. I could have gone with Sheamus, Cesaro or Kane taking the fall but at least it was after a lot of offense. Angle looked fine and I get the break he took, though it makes me wonder if Reigns would have taken that break as well had he been in there (probably not of course but it’s not out of the question). Insanely fun main event and really all they could have done.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to think of this one, but it’s safe to say that they weren’t able to put forth their best show given all the last minute changes. That being said the matches we got were probably a lot better, which brings up the fact that a horrible disease is booking the pay per views better than the Raw creative team (I wish I could take credit for that but I saw it elsewhere). It’s not a show that anyone needs to see again (though the last two matches were a blast in different ways) but all things considered, this was good stuff.

Oh and by the way: they added two segments, a bonus match, admitted they were filling in time and STILL MANAGED TO GO OVER! I don’t know if that’s really impressive or pathetic but it made me chuckle.

Results

Asuka b. Emma – Asuka Lock

Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann b. Jack Gallagher/Brian Kendrick – Lumbar Check to Kendrick

Alexa Bliss b. Mickie James – DDT

Enzo Amore b. Kalisto – Jordunzo

Finn Balor b. AJ Styles – Coup de Grace

Jason Jordan b. Elias – Small package

Kurt Angle/Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins b. The Miz/Braun Strowman/The Bar/Kane – TripleBomb to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Let’s get this in as fast as I can before another performer is taken off the card due to illness. In a rare case, two top level wrestlers scheduled to appear on this show have been taken off the card due to medical issues. That changes the whole dynamic of the show, but that doesn’t mean the show is worse as a result. It should be interesting to see where the card goes from here so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox

So this might have been scheduled to be Nia Jax in Fox’s spot but Jax not getting to face Asuka was enough to make her leave the promotion for the time being. Banks already made Fox tap out earlier in the week on “Monday Night Raw”, which makes me wonder what the point is in having the match all over again. Maybe they’re trying to convince us that there will be a surprise ending?

If that’s what they’re going for, I’m certainly not buying it. I have no reason to believe that this won’t end with another Bank Statement and there’s really no reason for Fox to win the thing. Fox is nothing more than a warm body for Banks to defeat and there’s nothing wrong with that. Banks is someone who is going to fire the crowd up as soon as she comes into the arena and that’s exactly what you want a dark match to do. Good choice for a match, but not exactly a questionable ending.

Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto(c) vs. Enzo Amore

Over the last few weeks of “205 Live”, I’ve been finding Amore more tolerable than I have in recent months. However, that doesn’t mean he’s any less annoying that he’s been for the last…well ever actually. Kalisto won the title a few weeks back and it seems that we’ve just been counting down the time until Amore gets the title back for the sake of making “205 Live” interesting again.

In other words, of course Amore gets the title back here as Kalisto is little more than a quick way to make Amore a two time champion. It helps that they let him keep the belt for more than a few days, though it doesn’t make things any better. Amore dominates any show he’s on and that can get old in a hurry. I get why he’s around and he’s a necessary evil, though that doesn’t make him getting the title back any easier. So yeah, Amore wins, much to the rise of my blood pressure.

Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles

This is the first of the two lineup changes we’ve had to undergo as Styles is replacing Bray Wyatt, who has been taken off the show due to medical reasons. That’s a major problem as Wyatt was supposed to debut Sister Abigail and Balor was supposed to bring back the Demon character. It seems that Balor will still be the Demon in what is now a glorified dream match.

I’ll take Balor to win as “Monday Night Raw” shouldn’t have one of its top stars lose, especially with a potential World Title challenge in the next few months. That’s a problem when Styles seems to be up next for Smackdown World Champion Jinder Mahal. However, the tie goes to the wrestler with home roster advantage so I’ll take Balor winning in a heck of a classic.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss(c) vs. Mickie James

This is the classic “I’m young and awesome and you’re old and lame” story which could very easily be set up for the sake of giving James the big feel good win, only to have Bliss get the title back in very short order. On the other hand, it could be little more than a way to give Bliss a quick win and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’ll take Bliss to retain here, though the idea of giving James a win is tempting. James has been teasing tying Trish Stratus’ record for the most Women’s Title reigns in company history though I don’t think they’ll actually pull the trigger. Bliss can move on to facing someone else (hint: her name rhymes with Shaska) later on and James isn’t going to lose anything if she doesn’t pick up the title. So yeah, Bliss retains, even though I’m not feeling as sure as I was just a few days ago.

Asuka vs Emma

Did you now that Jesse Ventura and Roddy Piper filmed a pilot for a cop show back in the 1980s? The show was called “Tag Team” and it was looking strong to be picked up but that never quite came together. Now what does this have to do with the match? Well nothing, but what else am I supposed to talk about for the build towards this one?

Of course Asuka is going to destroy Emma and of course that’s what should happen. Asuka hasn’t lost since she came to WWE and Emma is little more than an appetizer before she gets on to someone more important and/or a bigger challenge. Emma was the obvious option for this as she can get destroyed and lose nothing, mainly because she has no value in the first place. Asuka wins here and it’s a glorified squash at worst.

Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann vs. Jack Gallagher/Brian Kendrick

To paraphrase a certain song: “This is filler. Filler night. And no one’s gonna save you from this match actually being on pay per view.” Yeah there’s no hiding the fact that this is taking place because the main event if featuring eight people and they need something else to fill in part of the card. It’s nice that the cruiserweights are getting another spot on the card but it’s the popcorn match of the night.

I’ll take Alexander and Swann to win here and I’m not particularly sure why. Neither of them is interesting and while the story worked well enough, they’re just showing how unimportant the rest of the division really is. There’s a story to the match (revenge, basically) and that’s all well and good, but if the participants feel so unimportant, the match isn’t likely to be worth watching.

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Kurt Angle vs. Miz/Kane/Braun Strowman/The Bar

Hokey smoke what a match this has turned into. The original idea, and the match the entire show was built around, was the Shield vs. these five, though Roman Reigns was taken out due to another medical issue. That leaves Angle to fill in and….I have almost no idea what to think of the change. Angle is a special attraction and I’d like to see him get built up for a lot longer, but desperate times call for bad builds.

I’ll definitely take Rollins/Ambrose/Angle as there’s just no reason to have any other option. Angle is probably a one off appearance and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hopefully he doesn’t die or something in the ring, though that’s almost par for the course whenever Angle gets in the ring. The match should be violent, but Kane, Cesaro and Sheamus are all there to take a fall for any of the winners and that’s the way to go.

Overall Thoughts

This is an interesting show as the whole thing has been turned upside down in the span of a few days. The top two matches have been thrown out (well only somewhat in the main event’s case) yet somehow the show is even better on paper than it was just a few days ago. I could go for a long Balor vs. Styles match and Angle…well let’s just hope he’s ok. The show’s gimmick has gone from interesting to something I only remember because of what the show is called, which isn’t the best sign. This show really is a once in a long time situation and it could be interesting to see how WWE handles things.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6