ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: July 11, 2006
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Welcome to the rest of ECW. After last week, there was no way that this could be considered ECW anymore so we’re now in whatever you want to call this. Big Show is champion and he’s supported by the EVIL Heyman, which is WWE all the way. There isn’t much else to say but the show is going to be old vs. new now. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event from last week.

Flair vs. Big Show for the ECW Title later. This isn’t going to get any easier.

Here’s Heyman who says he made sure RVD lost the title last week. Don’t blame him though, because it’s the fans’ fault. It’s the people’s fault that RVD got suspended for thirty days. It’s their fault that he had such a rigorous schedule and it’s their cheers that made him jump off the top. Heyman talks about the sacrifices he made for ECW and how he’s the savior of the company. He’ll do things like this if it saves the fans and he’ll do it for the good of ECW. That isn’t really an explanation but that’s too much to ask for.

Heyman and his security leave and run into Dreamer. He wants an explanation but Dreamer has a match immediately so Heyman doesn’t have time to explain.

Raw ad, on an ECW show. It’s a different company remember.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Test

Dreamer is in street clothes. Test slaps him so Dreamer goes crazy on him. They go to the floor where Test rams his back into the post to take over. Test whips him into the corner and stomps him down as this is looking like a squash. A backbreaker sets up a bearhug which is broken pretty quickly. Tommy hits a pair of neckbreakers but the DDT is countered into a full nelson slam. The top rope elbow misses and Dremer tries the DVD. Test slips off the shoulders and rolls Dreamer up, putting his feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: D. If they really think this is how the new brand was going to get over, they were idiots. At the end of the day, this is Test, the same guy that wasn’t over from 2001-2005, so they keep pushing him anyway. Nothing to see here and Dreamer was treated like a jobber the whole time of course, which is one of the few things they’ve gotten right.

Candace says her expose will be hot.

Kelly and Candance do a dance together. At least the song is different. Knox does his usual stop but Sandman pops up to hit him with the cane. My goodness it’s an actual story.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn are creepy.

Punk talks about how his tattoos tell a story. Seriously, get to him already. He’s WAY better than this.

Sabu vs. Justin Credible

Sabu was hyped up for the first half of the show so this should be a squash. Sabu goes straight at him and knocks Justin to the floor where he looks for a weapon. That goes badly for him as Sabu hits a flip dive to the floor. Slingshot legdrop gets two back in the ring. Sabu heads to the floor and loads up a broken table, which he puts Justin through after a brief fight for the DQ. Yeah a DQ in ECW. Next.

Balls Mahoney is a little bit nuts. His words not, mine.

Flair says he’ll win his 17th title tonight. Foley needs to grow some balls as well.

Shannon Moore (not named) is freaky looking.

ECW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Big Show

Extreme Rules again. Show throws him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Flair pounding away in the corner. Joey calls this historic. Not exactly the word I’d use but whatever. Show press slams him and Flair is busted open from something. Knowing him it was a stiff breeze. Flair tries chopping him but gets knocked down by one from Show. They head to the floor for another slugout, won by Show.

To keep up the tradition, Flair chops and punches but Show chops him down with one or two shots. Show measures him but Flair hits him low. Keeping with the tradition theme, Flair hits him low a second and third time. Make it four and Show is in trouble. Flair finds a barbed wire ball bat from somewhere and hits Show in the head with it before digging it into Show’s face.

Trashcan shot to the head staggers Show as does a chair to the chest and back. Show goes down but it only gets two. Flair busts out some tacks and knocks Show into them with about five chair shots to the head. That just ticks him off though so he pulls Flair into the chokeslam and a cobra clutch backbreaker. He keeps the clutch on for the knockout win. Show throws Flair into the tacks post match.

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to. Flair is still a master of making you believe that it could happen, which is what he did here. Also, notice that he puts Show over by making it look like Show shrugged off all that offense and won with ease. That’s hot you make someone look good, which Flair made a career out of.

Flair is helped out to end the show. That and replays ate up the last three minutes.

Overall Rating: C. I think this was the best show of the first batch of them, and that’s not saying much. The show was ok with the main event being a highlight, but it’s much better because the idea that this is the rebirth of ECW is forgotten now. Instead the ECW Title is the third WWE Title, making it a much easier show to book. The opening was weak as was the rest of the show other than the main event, but I really dug that match. Watchable show, but nothing great.

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Sin
Date: January 18, 2001
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 6,617
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

Another month into WCW here and this time it’s one of the more infamous endings. This is the fatal fourway for the title with Sid vs. Steiner vs. Jarrett vs. a mystery man. The ending is famous for one of the sickest botches and injuries of all time. Other than that it’s mainly a bunch of Starrcade rematches so let’s get to it.

The opening video lists off the seven deadly sins with various clips of various people. Simple but at least it fits the name, even if the name makes no sense.

Shane doesn’t want Shannon to come to the ring with him.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero

If you remember last month 3 Count both won a title shot. The next night they had a match to determine who won the title shot, which is here. Chavo is relatively freshly heel here and totally awesome. Crowd is hot as they have a crisp technical sequence with Chavo grabbing a full nelson for a few seconds. Chavo chops away and in a NICE nod to history, Shane counters with armdrags. Flair vs. Stemboat anyone?

Shane gets an F5 into a facebuster but Chavo manages a clothesline to send him to the floor. After a brief skirmish on the floor Shane kind of botches a sunset flip but recovers fast enough that it’s easily forgotten, still getting two. Chavo goes low as this is a very fast paced match. Sweet dropkick by Chavo gets two and we hit the chinlock. This is a bit different as they’ve been going strong about five minutes and they needed a 20 second rest. Nothing wrong with that.

Atomic drop by Shane reverses and a neckbreaker puts Chavo down. Shane covers just before the ten count but gets two. Crowd is hot for this. X Plex (German with the arms crossed in front of Chavo) gets two. Shane charges at him in the corner but Chavo sends him to the floor. BIG dive by Chavo takes Helms out on the floor and we go back into the ring.

Chavo gets thrown to the floor and Shane hits his own big old dive to take Chavo down. Chavo’s was better but still that was great. Sunset flip gets two for Shane as does a Samoan Drop. He calls for the Vertebreaker but Chavo reverses. Shane reverses the reversal into the Nightmare on Helm Street (spinning reverse DDT. Look it up as it’s hard to describe) for a LONG two. Tornado DDT is blocked but Chavo reverses another Nightmare on Helm Street into a brainbuster to get the pin and keep the title.

Rating: A-. GREAT match here with both guys moving incredibly well and the crowd responding to every single thing. This is exactly the right thing to do for the opener with the match being fast paced and full of the right amount of spots and counters. Like I said, Chavo was awesome at this point and this was even more proof of that. Excellent match here and worth watching.

And now let’s watch it go downhill from here.

Earlier today Tenay was trying to find out who the mystery man was so he asked Flair. I’d love for someone to just say the surprise to catch everyone off guard for once.

Vito is facing Reno here and has Johnny the Bull with him again, although Johnny can’t be at ringside.

Reno vs. Big Vito

Revenge match here after Reno revealed that he was the guy that was paying Kronik to take out Vito so he could rejoin the Thrillers instead of just you know, taking out Vito and rejoining the Thrillers. They stare each other down and the fight is on. Reno takes over with a powerslam to start and Vito kind of looks weak. Oh and they’re brothers apparently.

They head to the floor for a bit before heading back in and slugging it out. The crowd is staying white hot and already has made more noise than at all of Starrcade combined. Superplex gets two for Vito. Enziguri to the shoulder can’t put Reno down but a belly to back does for no cover. Out to the floor with Reno in control. They are laying into each other here.

Back in now and Reno drops an elbow. Tony talks about the brothers being in high school for some reason as the crowd is popping for clotheslines. Think about that for a minute. Vito grabs a sunset flip for two. Big boot to the head/superkick by Vito puts Reno down and they’re both down. Vito hammers away and here’s the comeback.

Belly to belly sets up a top rope elbow for two. Bad elbow but he tried at least. Reno fights back but can’t Roll the Dice. Suplex gets two for Vito. Spinning DDT fails for Vito so he settles for a T-Bone. I’ll have a round steak if you have one. Out of nowhere Reno reverses a suplex and gets the Roll the Dice for the pin. Another fast paced and decent match, probably a record for WCW post 1999.

Rating: C+. This is a fine example of a match where working hard and having intensity can make up for average in ring work. They were HAMMERING each other out there and while the match was sloppy at times the fans were into it and even I got into it a bit. That’s a great sign and the match was good as a result. We’re half an hour in and I’m rather impressed so far.

Mike Sanders pays off Brian Adams of Kronik but Brian Clark comes up with a better payoff so Adams says let’s take that one. He keeps Sanders’ money anyway of course.

Jung Dragons vs. Noble/Karagis

Told you they would never go anywhere. Noble/Karagis have been having problems apparently. Evan and Kaz starts us off and of course it’s full speed ahead. Kaz cleans house and the Dragons rule the ring. Stereo moonsaults take the non-reptiles out as Leia Meow is happy. Noble and Kaz go to the floor and Noble may have hurt his knee.

Things finally get down into a regular tag match with Noble and Karagis hitting a leg drop/side slam combination for two. Karagis gets two off a World’s Strongest Slam. Noble hammers on Kaz a bit more including something like a cross body for two. Noble is moving insanely fast out there. Apparently he does something called a Singapore. It looked like an elbow to me.

Karagis comes in and gets a nice gorilla press into a spinning spinebuster for two. Cool looking move there. Powerslam sets up a horrible looking attempt at a Lionsault and both guys are down after the miss. He would have hit Kaz in the toes or so if he was lucky. Kaz tries to get the hot tag but Noble drills him as he heads for the corner. Sunset flip attempt by Noble but Kaz rolls through and DRILLS Noble with a kick to the head. That looked sick.

There’s the hot tag and Yang cleans house, getting a dragon screw leg whip and a reverse figure four to Noble. The hold is broken up by Karagis and the big brawl is on. Knoble gets a German for two on Yang and Karagis gets a HUGE dive to take Kaz out on the floor.
Knoble tries a rana from the middle rope but Yang reverses into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Evan goes up and hits a SWEET 450 for two on Yang. Kaz gets a slingshot DDT for two as does Knoble with a tombstone. Yang tries a twisting moonsault which misses completely. After all that, Yang grabs a small package to get the pin on Knoble. AWESOME match to say the least.

Rating: A-. Is it possible that a WCW PPV is one of the best shows I’ve seen in a very long time? We’re only about 45 minutes into it though which is what scares me. Anyway, this was a great fast paced tag match with everyone moving in there and giving us a hot ending where you kept wondering who would wind up getting the pin. Great stuff.

Buff Bagwell and Lex Luger show up in an old purple car. I mean from like the 30s. They say they might have someone run in for a DQ so that Goldberg will lose.

Mike Sanders vs. Ernest Miller

The winner is Commissioner. Sanders says he’s in this for the money and that Ms. Jones is on the line here. WCW: pushing sexual slavery all the way to 2001! At least Jones looks good. For the life of me I have never gotten the appeal of the Cat. He says he’s going to be Commissioner and take WCW all the way to the top. I’ve got nothing for that one. Somebody call his mama. How did they never have her show up?

After a quick fan applause contest won by Miller we’re ready for the match. Cat starts in control and chases Sanders to the floor, only to get drilled by Sanders on the return to the ring. Cat gets a kick to take him down and hammers away. Does this guy know how to do anything but strikes? Sanders gets a snap mare and kicks him in the head. A sunset flip is countered by a crotch chop and an elbow from Miller.

Big kick (yes we get it you can kick him) by Miller puts Sanders down but he manages to send Cat to the floor. Chair shot is broken up by Jones which is stupid because Sanders would have lost if he had hit Cat. Jones chases him with the chair as the Thrillers come down for the big beating. Kronik makes the save and somehow the referee DOESN’T SEE ANY OF THIS, despite being in the ring the whole time. Adams shoves the money in Sanders’ mouth as he channels his inner DiBiase before a big kick to Sanders from Cat ends this, making Miller commissioner again.

Rating: D. Boring match for another authority position which means I have to watch more of Miller. I’m not complaining about seeing Jones dance but at the same time, Miller is annoying beyond belief. Weak match and what a shock: the bigger the names get, the worse the show gets.

Flair and Goldberg watch the Bagwell/Luger arrival from earlier. Flair, the other authority figure makes it No DQ and introduces Goldberg to a friend of his and the friend’s son. No angle or anything to it. Just a fan that wants an autograph and a picture which he gets.

Gene is with Jarrett who says he’ll win the title again and will send Gene back to the retirement home if he keeps implying that Jarrett will turn on Steiner. He’s supposed to sound defensive here.

Team Canada vs. Filthy Animals

Team Canada is Elix Skipper, Mike Awesome (Yes he made a heel turn since the last show) and Lance Storm. The Animals are Konnan, Mysterio and Kidman. This is a Penalty Box match where the guest referee, Jim Duggan, can throw the people in a penalty box if they break a rule. The Canadians come out in a bus for no apparent reason. Oh and Duggan isn’t part of Team Canada anymore, I guess due to the beatdown last month.

Storm talks about Duggan being in the Animals’ back pocket which doesn’t sit well with the Hall of Famer. There’s no time limit given on the penalties so it’s a bit complicated. Duggan looks old. This is an old WCCW stronghold so you can tell they’re running out of ideas. Storm vs. Mysterio to start. Rey starts out flying around as it’s weird to see Storm being the bigger and stronger of the two.

Skipper and Awesome interfere a bit and are sent to the box almost immediately. Apparently it’s 3-1 for one minute. Tony makes a bunch of hockey references which most American fans won’t care about. Konnan powerbombs Rey onto Storm as the box is emptied out. Good thing the advantage meant nothing at all. Rey gets a falling splash and it’s off to Kidman.

Kidman vs. Skipper now as Awesome is sent into the box again. Make that Storm as well. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be the norm for this match? Konnan throws on some hold as they keep tagging in and out. The announcers are making it sound like the only chance the Animals have is when the Canadians are in the box. Back to full strength as Skipper easily out moves Konnan.

Matrix move is easily blocked by simply grabbing a reverse DDT out of it. The Canadians don’t like to tag for some reason. Off to Awesome and I’ll bet money on Storm and Skipper being sent to the box within a minute. Backbreaker gets two for Awesome. Major Gunns and Tygress argue on the floor and Duggan yells at them. Rey tries to cheat but is sent to the box for two minutes as is Kidman.

Powerslam by Awesome gets two. Tygress sprays Gunns with water or oil or something and they go at it. Only Gunns goes to the box though. Ah there goes Tygress too. Skipper drops a springboard leg drop on Konnan as we hit the chinlock. Yes because with a 3-1 advantage it’s the right idea to put a chinlock on. Awesome comes off the top with a clothesline as he comes in.

The box empties out as this is getting rather stupid. Off to Storm who walks into an X-Factor but Konnan is spent from doing two moves so he takes a little nap. Off to Kidman who comes in on fire. Well not literally but you get the concept. We hit the floor and everything breaks down.

Awesome has scissors and tries to give Kidman a haircut for no apparent reason and is sent to the box. Bronco Buster to Storm from both Rey and Tygress. She goes to the box as Storm gets a forearm to Rey, only to get caught in the ropes and hit by a leg drop. Off to Kidman who gets the Unprettier for two. The box empties though and Awesome hits an Awesome Bomb to Rey as Storm puts the Maple Leaf on Kidman for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Total and complete mess here with the rules seemingly added on for the sake of adding rules on. It didn’t help the match or anything but they did it anyway. Not much of a match as it was just a six man with extended faces/heels in peril spots. This feud went on more or less until the end of the company.

The Thrillers say they’ll get the titles back from the Insiders.

The Insiders are getting ready.

We recap the Hardcore Title feud which more or less is Funk is champion, he likes Crowbar who wants to take over and Meng is just a monster that wants the title.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Terry Funk vs. Meng

Meng has the title itself but Funk is champion. Daffney tries to jump Funk which of course fails. Crowbar, no longer a seventies guy (that would be Funk) jumps Funk and the brawl starts sans Meng. They head to the back into the ladies room. Standard bathroom fight as Crowbar is slammed into every stall. Meng is nowhere to be seen here. Ah there he is.

He throws a plastic trashcan over Funk and hammers on it a bit. They head back into the arena and Funk pelts a trashcan at Meng’s head. They double team him for a bit before Funk realizes that makes too much sense so he beats up Crowbar. Luckily there happens to be about six tables stacked up against a wall. WE FOUND THE SOURCE!!!!! Crowbar hits Funk with a laptop as Hudson says Crowbar wants the Cruiserweight Title back.

Crowbar climbs into the crowd and dives on Funk on a table which the camera completely misses. Why do they miss it? Because they accidentally cut to the ring crew fixing the ring ropes. And people wonder why this company went out of business. This is what replay is for I guess as we get to see the Boom Drop for lack of a better term.

Meng pops up to him Crowbar with a trashcan again and take over one more time. They head to the stage with Crowbar hammering away to no effect. Side kick sends Crowbar sprawling down the ramp. Funk gets a snow shovel from somewhere and pops Meng with it to send him down. That’s a rarity. Funk slams Crowbar through the railing which literally almost snaps in half. Good thing WCW upgraded to the barriers made of cotton candy.

Funk and Crowbar go to the ring where Funk takes some chair shots to the knees and gets Pillmanized. Well kind of at least. Funk of course is on his feet seconds later and hammers away. Meng is back now and Crowbar puts a figure four on despite Meng hammering on him. Meng goes up top and crushes Crowbar with a splash. That looked awesome. Piledriver gets two as Funk saves.

Meng hammers away and slams Funk before a middle rope splash gets two. Funk and Crowbar hit Meng literally about 18 times with chairs to take him down. The head shots don’t work as well due to the afro but they’re trying at least. Funk gets Meng in position for a DDT but Crowbar blasts him with a chair. Kick takes Crowbar down and the Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title. He would be in the Royal Rumble a week later.

Rating: C. This got a lot better after the first five minutes or so. Meng as a total monster is a fun character. That’s probably why WWF signed him to a guaranteed deal a day or so after this while WCW was doing a pay per appearance kind of thing and thought there was nothing wrong with putting a title on him (his first actually). Meng would be in the Rumble seven days later as a surprising appearance and kind of as a big SCREW YOU to Bischoff as the Hardcore Division in WCW died with the title never being mentioned again other than I think once on Thunder.

Flair congratulates Miller for winning and says take the night off with caviar and champagne. Miller would prefer neckbone and collard greens. Flair says cool. This might be the most pointless segment I’ve ever seen.

Sid says he’ll win the title back tonight.

We recap the Thrillers vs. the Insiders. The Thrillers, in this case all of them, won a tag team battle royal to get the show.

Tag Titles: Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire vs. The Insiders

Page and Nash are the Insiders and Nash used to coach the Thrillers. Speaking of the Thrillers the rest come out as backup. Sanders has all six Thrillers get in and says that he’s the coach so he’s going to make substitutions when he wants to. Flair comes out and says no. The Thrillers are sent to the back and we’re ready to go. Page and Palumbo start us off.

They spit at each other and slug it out with Page sending Chucky flying. Spinning Rock Bottom gets two. Page clears the ring and gets Palumbo again. And never mind as he tags in Nash to a decent pop. Off to O’Haire who is easily taken down. Nash misses some elbows but a big boot sends Sean to the mat. O’Haire escapes the onslaught and takes Nash down with a superkick.

Palumbo hammers away as I’m glad they upgraded Stasiak to O’Haire. Palumbo beats Nash down which is rather surprising. The former Vinnie Vegas fights out of that with relative ease and Snake Eyes put Palumbo down. Page comes in with a Kane-esque top rope clothesline. Palumbo gets another kick (running theme in this match) to send Page down for two.

Hudson says that was on instinct. It’s instinct to raise your arm when anyone counts to two? That might be a sign you watch too much wrestling. The Thrillers get a double slingshot suplex to Page for two. Page keeps getting close but he can’t bring in Nash. Palumbo keeps taunting Nash but Page fights out of the corner, just like he did last time. Palumbo tries a tombstone which is reversed into one by Page.

Hot tag to Nash and he cleans house. It’s weird seeing him move at more than an hour a year. There go the straps but here come the Thrillers. Of all people, Lex Luger comes through the crowd with a chair. He gets taken down anyway and Page chases Luger into the crowd. Nash tries to powerbomb O’Haire but Bagwell comes in with a wrench to the back of Nash. Seanton Bomb gives the Thrillers the title.

Rating: D+. This was a lot weaker than last month and the heel run in made no sense at all. Was Flair off hitting on some fitness model or something? The ending makes no sense but then again this is the show where that’s the norm. Weak match that was there to set up another angle and change the titles yet again. Moving on.

The Thrillers celebrate in the back.

Flair says it’s Showtime and gets in a car, apparently to go get the Mystery Man. I guess they were hinting at Sting there because they’re not that intelligent.

We recap Rection vs. Douglas which is just a feud where Douglas uses a chain a lot to cheat.

US Title: General Rection vs. Shane Douglas

This is a first blood chain match. Douglas says nothing of note. The chain is above the ring like in a ladder match. Douglas says this is about getting a world title shot. Then he says it’s about a woman. He doesn’t say anything about the US Title but I guess that’s implied. Ok so this is a first blood match and the chain is the only way to bust someone open I guess.

The referee checks for hidden chains on Douglas and actually finds one. Slugout to start with Morrus grabbing a knuckle lock to take over. Arm drag by Douglas as Rection demands that the referee ask him for a submission in an armbar. You know, because that makes sense. The fans want blood so Morrus finally realizes he’s in a first blood match and pounds away on the head.

Douglas fights back a bit but gets caught by a top rope clothesline to put him back down. This is just a match so far with very little emphasis on drawing blood. Shane stomps away and works on the knee. Figure four by Shane who I’m sure will blame Flair for the lack of psychology here. They go out to the floor which at least makes sense and head into the crowd.

After some punches by Shane and a shot to the railing by Rection we head back into the ringside area. Shane uses the figure four on the post but can’t get the leg up that far at all and pushed down on it with his head. Dude, you’re too lazy to throw a leg up there? Seriously? I mean SERIOUSLY?

Back in and Morrus manages a gorilla press because he’s just fine now. He hits the floor and pulls out a ladder which allows Tony to point out the obvious: HIT HIM WITH THE LADDER TO MAKE HIM BLEED!!! I mean dude how hard is that? He gets the chain but the ladder is shoved down to hit the referee. Shane pulls out another chain and busts Rection open with it for the win.

Rating: F. A first blood match was 11 minutes long and had a total of one shot to set up the blood. I mean dude, how hard could this possibly be? Apparently it was too hard for these idiots to figure out as they managed to screw it up. Terribly dull match for a gimmick match, not bad match for a regular match. But it wasn’t a regular match now was it?

Steiner says he doesn’t trust anyone.

General Rection is furious and says it’s not worth it anymore.

We recap Totally Buff vs. Goldberg/Sarge. Sarge is the guy that trained Goldberg. Goldberg has to get to 177-0 to get another title shot or he’s fired and Bagwell got mad because he was tired of being screwed over so he and Luger teamed up to try to get rid of Goldberg in this match.

Sgt. Dwayne Bruce/Goldberg vs. Totally Buff

Sarge has a broken arm and the entrances take about five minutes. Goldberg vs. Luger get us going here. You know, Russo made the deal about Goldberg having to win 176 in a row. Why doesn’t Flair just overturn that? Goldberg throws Luger around and throws him to Bagwell who says “Who me?” “Yeah you!’ For some reason that was funny for me. Bagwell hammers away and no sells a suplex.

Goldberg beats down Bagwell and brings in the career jobber Sarge. Sarge beats on him for a bit with a middle rope elbow. I forgot that this is no DQ. Sarge runs into some double teaming, so why doesn’t Goldberg just come in and destroy them? He can’t get disqualified. Actually he does that and the referee throwing him out. How does that make sense?

Luger hammers on Sarge for awhile and Bagwell adds a double arm DDT. Off to the chinlock now as the fans are still in this. Luger gets one of the worst forearm smashes you’ll ever see for two. Thankfully they remember the plate that is allegedly in there. So it can knock out Bret Hart but it barely puts Dwayne Bruce down for two? Only in wrestling would that make sense.

Double tag brings in Goldberg and Luger. HUGE pop for Goldberg. Seriously how in the world did they manage to mess him up? Now we get to the stupid part here. Remember the kid from earlier with the autograph? He’s like 17 or so and Luger goes after him. Goldberg makes the save and the kid maces him.

Goldberg pulls him over the railing and security dives on the kid…..then just let him go and stand at ringside. Punk was right. Wrestling security sucks. Back in the ring Goldberg fights blind for awhile until Luger pops him with a chair a few times and a double Blockbuster (think a Doomsday Device) ends the career. For the month at least.

Rating: D. Weak tag match that was hurt even worse by the ending. Yes a fan that he signed an autograph before earlier was the big answer. Why Luger or Bagwell didn’t bring the mace in themselves is anyone’s guess but hey why not just let a young looking guy do it instead? Either way at least it’s over and they can quit ruining Goldberg for now. HHH got to do that in 03 which is the next time he would be seen.

By the way the fans are totally dead now.

We recap the main event which is Steiner vs. Sid vs. Jarrett vs. a Mystery Man. Steiner and Jarrett hooked up last month at Starrcade to form the Super Worst Friends as the evil team. Flair tried to tell Steiner he couldn’t trust anyone, so they might as well just say SWERVE right now.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Steiner vs. ???

Flair comes out after the three known people and says the Mystery Man will be here later. Steiner goes after Flair but Jarrett stops him. Sid is in jean shorts here instead of full tights like he was last month. Sid clears the ring and hammers away on both of them for awhile. Jarrett is trying to give up the match apparently. Oh dear. Steiner falls trying to get out of the ring which sums up the whole thing perfectly.

Steiner gets the clothesline, the elbow and the pushups. Sid is sent into the front row and Jarrett adds a Stunner onto the railing. Steiner adds a belt shot to the face as you wonder now why Jarrett doesn’t lay down in the ring and let Steiner get the quick pin to retain. Apparently that would have been a better idea as Sid fights back. Can’t powerbomb Jarrett though and the beatdown continues.

They beat down Sid and Jarrett is told to cover him by Steiner. The announcers think there’s something going on here. Sid fights back and this a double suplex which was rather impressive in theory. He more or less DDTed Steiner and suplexed Jarrett. Here’s the comeback as Sid hits a bunch of clotheslines and a chokeslam on Jarrett for two.

Cobra clutch slam puts Steiner down and Sid follows Jarrett to the floor. Jarrett is sent to the front row and we cut to the back to see Flair bring someone out of the limo from earlier who looks like he’s in a Jason Vorhees mask. We cut back to the arena…..and Sid has broken his leg to the point where it looks like a twisty straw.

The problem now is that they can’t do anything because Sid can’t move and they can’t touch him and since Steiner and Jarrett are friends they can’t do anything. Flair’s music FINALLY comes on and the mystery dude is here. There’s a trainer in the ring already to check on Sid so you can tell how bad it is. The Mystery Man comes in and kicks Sid in the head so Steiner can pin him to end this.

Rating: D. That’s not factoring in the ending because clearly that’s not what they had planned as Sid was injured so badly he wouldn’t wrestle for about a year. The match up to that point was pretty weak though as we were just waiting on the mystery dude to get there, making it a lame duck match. Anyway, weak match to end a weak end of the show.

And the Mystery Man is Road Warrior Animal, making the whole thing a bigger joke than it already was. This resulted in the debut of the next super heel stable: the Magnificent Seven, which was comprised of Flair, the Steiners, Luger, Bagwell, Animal and Jarrett. And you wonder why they went out of business.

Overall Rating: C-. The first 40-45 minutes of this can rival any opening 40-45 minutes of a PPV I have ever seen. It was that good. Then they had the other two hours and the show falls apart. You get to the “draws” and the big matches and it’s more uninteresting wrestling with bad matches between people no one wanted to see but they keep throwing him in anyway just because they were the stars and that was all there was to it. GREAT opening part and well worth watching, but stop it after the Dragons match. The rest is ok, but just ok.

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Uncensored 1995
Date: March 19, 1995
Location: Tupelo Coliseum, Tupelo, Mississippi
Attendance: 5,782
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

So here we are at what managed to win back to back worst show of the year awards from Meltzer: Uncensored. The idea is WCW has washed their hands of the show which is stupid for reasons I’ve gone into already in other rants. Anyway, this is really just a continuation of the last show and not a lot has really changed. The main event is still Hogan vs. Vader and other than that there’s not a lot to talk about on this one. This show does however feature perhaps the dumbest idea in wrestling history that resulted in Goldust, so let’s get to it.

Again, Nitro doesn’t exist yet so this isn’t your traditional show.

Opening video is just about how everything is different now and there are no rules. It’s your standard thing. Apparently we are packed to the rafters here. There aren’t even 6,000 people there so that’s a stretch if there ever has been one. Heenan dates the show by saying Jordan just came back to the NBA and Tyson is about to get out of prison. Oh this is the debut of the Renegade. Oh dear it’s THAT show.

Blacktop Bully vs. Dustin Rhodes

For some reason WCW thought this was a good idea. See if you can figure this out: they’re in the back of a truck driving around Atlanta. The winner is the first person to get to the end of the truck and pull a horn. Both guys bladed which was illegal at the time and were fired for it. There are bales of hay in the back of it also. Yep, WCW isn’t a hick company AT ALL. Oh hey let’s get a police escort and a helicopter too.

This must have been SO fun for the people in the arena. I mean my goodness: SOMEONE GOT PAID FOR THIS!!! The problem here is that no one can actually stand up at all as they’re IN A MOVING TRUCK! Two idiots have to actually sit in the cab and watch this. Seriously, WHO CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA??? Yep there goes the sunlight. Oh I forgot to mention: this has been edited to heck and back so the light changes about every 5 seconds.

Hey, let’s run a stop sign on film and show a shot of the truck driver for no apparent reason. They aren’t even really fighting. It’s them wandering from one end of the truck to another and hitting the other guy with a bale of hay. And all of a sudden Dustin is 8 feet away from where he was a second ago. Not to mention they had to rent the truck. The camera work here is crap as we can’t let anyone see blood. Nothing dumb about this AT ALL.

They actually call this a match. I’m stunned. Hey something good happens for once: the camera in the helicopter breaks up. Someone up there likes me. Oh hey, let’s sit on the side of a moving truck and hang off the side while a guy punches me. Nothing bad can happen from this. This has been going on over 8 minutes and they might have interacted for 50 seconds total. Other than that it’s stumbling around and trying to grab the stupid horn.

It’s also gotten lighter so apparently this has gone on all night. It certainly feels like it. They’re up on the beam together and Dustin gets knocked off, allowing the Bully to pull the horn and win I guess. In the arena fireworks go off. This is a BAD idea already isn’t it?

Rating: H. As in HOLY GOODNESS WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE THEY FREAKING SMOKING TO COME UP WITH THIS????? Do I even need to make fun of this? Dustin took off and put on his shirt twice, yet you never saw him do it once. See what I’m working with here?

We go to the Stud Stable, which is Colonel Parker, Meng and the TV Champion Arn Anderson who for no apparent reason is wearing what would become the Cruiserweight Title. Apparently he has a boxer vs. wrestler match with Johnny B. Badd. Meng is having a martial arts match with Duggan. This could be a REALLY long night.

We recap Meng vs. Duggan. Short version: Duggan ran into Parker and Meng beat him up. This is set to Rey Mysterio’s music for no apparent reason.

Jim Duggan vs. Meng

Ok so even more non wrestling. Good to know. The fans, having sat around over twenty minutes at this point watching a single small screen, are shockingly dead. Duggan is all taped up as this show is giving me a migraine. Sonny Onoo, not yet a stereotyped Japanese tourist that would sue WCW over it, is the guest referee. Duggan is in street clothes. You can win by pin or knockout apparently.

On a random note that is far more interesting, this was one of Austin’s last match with the company before heading to ECW. It was a dark match that I didn’t mention already. There’s no point to it at all. I’m just bored. Another dark match was Stars N Stripes vs. Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater. Can I watch that match instead? They point out that Duggan knows nothing about martial arts. My head hurts.

We’ve been walking around for three minutes now waiting on Duggan to bow. Meng kicks him once and then poses. Duggan’s punching doesn’t work so he takes his boot off to beat Meng with it, which also does nothing at all. The match goes like this: Meng hits him, Duggan walks around, Meng knocks him down, Duggan gets up, Duggan can’t hurt Meng, repeat.

We’re at the third nerve hold of the match. The guy is allegedly a killing machine so let’s have him rub Duggan’s neck instead. Heenan says Duggan has held a lot of titles. Name two. Duggan does the ten punches in the corner, and all of them go into the shoulder. That’s brilliant isn’t it? Meng no sells the Three Point Clothesline. HE GOT UP FROM A CLOTHESLINE! HOW FREAKING TOUGH IS HE??? A kick to the head ends it.

Rating: F-. And that’s being generous. This was a regular match with a guest referee, period. Seriously, whose idea was this show anyway? I freaking don’t get it. This is the closest thing to a match we’ve had and that’s not saying anything at all.

We recap Anderson vs. Johnny B. Badd. Anderson stole the TV Title from him and then cheated (you expected something else) to keep the title. Finally on Saturday Night, Badd interfered in a match Anderson had with Alex Wright. Now you have to remember something around this time: Badd’s character was gay without actually saying he was gay.

This is the character that says he was so pretty he should have been a little girl. So on Saturday Night ha literally sauntered out (think of the run that Sunny used to do) in powder blue tights (WAY too small) and boxing gloves to knock Anderson out. Since you know, THAT HURTS SO MUCH MORE THAN A FIST.

Badd says that tonight is a disadvantage to him. He has a boxing trainer that I refuse to believe is a real human being.

We get a clip of Anderson in the middle of nowhere in a Jeep or something talking. These kinds of promos are the things I based Night Vision on for the three people that got that reference. Anderson looks like a bad teacher from a stereotypical high school.

Arn Anderson vs. Johnny B. Badd

This is billed as boxer vs. wrestler. We have rounds here so this is closer to an MMA fight in a weird screwed up way. In other words, 40 minutes into the show and we still haven’t had an actual wrestling match. The rounds are three minutes with a minute between each. You can win by pinfall, submission or knockout. Oh this is going to be bad isn’t it? This is dumb already as it’s just Badd punching him and making Arn look stupid.

The problem is he would do this all the time in regular matches but doesn’t, and guys get punched all the time and it doesn’t do much at all, yet here Badd is wearing gloves and it’s more effective? This is just stupid. They have random stops like in boxing which is ever stupider. Crowd is DEAD mind you. Anderson has gone down three times this round. It’s been totally one sided. And yep, Anderson jumps him in the rest period and hits his DDT.

Naturally Anderson is in worse shape than Badd is after taking the TV Champion’s finishing move. Since there are no DQs Anderson beats on him some more. Anderson is finally dominating here but using jobber offense for the most part. The stool is used and here’s Badd’s manager to help him which of course fails beyond belief. Third round ends with Anderson beating the heck out of him. And Badd has his glove cut off and the trainer puts a bucket on Arn’s head. A big left hand ends it. I hate this show. I truly do.

Rating: F. Again, why is nonsense like this on a WRESTLING show? We’re 54 minutes into the show and there’s been a thing about blowing the horn of a truck, martial arts and boxing/MMA. What am I watching?

A highlight package of Savage leads to an interview with Savage. He admits he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Holy cocaine Batman!

Randy Savage vs. Avalanche

Earthquake in case you were wondering. Yes, we’re getting a wrestling match, AN HOUR INTO THE SHOW! Something tells me this is going to be very formula based. This is really basic stuff for the most part just like I thought it would be. Avalanche throws a dropkick of all things and to stun me, it’s not half bad. This is about what you would expect: Savage gets beaten up, he makes a quick comeback and it doesn’t work, repeat.

They’ve been fighting ten minutes now and that’s all there is to say about it. Savage jumps from the top to the floor with the double axe to knock him down. And Ric Flair in drag jumps the railing and beats up Avalanche. This ends it BY DISQUALIFICATION, at UNCENSORED, meaning NO RULES. Hogan makes the save.

Rating: D+. Match of the night by about 1000% so far. Know why that is? BECAUSE THIS WAS AN ACTUAL MATCH! There’s nothing at all special here but it’s not terrible I guess. This was a match you didn’t see in WWF so that’s always a perk. Nothing great, but by comparison this was Flair vs. Steamboat.

Harlem Heat have a match with the Nasty Boys and it’s Texas Tornado Rules. Just remember: no RULES tonight. Sherri really was decent on the mic.

We recap Bubba (Boss Man) vs. Sting. Boss Man turned heel because he blamed Sting for him losing a match. Sting, looking very odd for some reason, shouts a lot. I’ll say this: John Cena wishes he had the charisma Sting had. Rip me apart.

Big Bubba Rogers vs. Sting

This is a SUPER CONTEST apparently. Ok then. This should be decent actually. I want Bubba’s hat and Sting drops a leg on it and throws it to the crowd. Apparently being Uncensored allows for Sting to destroy Bubba’s personal property. They badly botch a crotch reversal spot on the post where Sting was supposed to pull his legs in so Bubba went face first into the post but the legs came loose and Bubba had to ram himself.

Sting hurts his leg on a leapfrog so there’s your story of the match. When something works as well as that, why mess with it? We get a rest hold, but at least it makes sense here. Bubba likes to stand around way too much. Sting gets a massive pop for a right hand. He was so over it was scary. We get a Captain Planet reference, making this match awesome. This is more or less Sting has a bad knee, Bubba has generic offense.

Sting hits a splash from the top for two, and I never stop loving those things. That man could JUMP. Sting goes for a slam and Bubba falls on him…for the pin? That came from NOWHERE. Even the guy didn’t expect it as there’s a long gap between the pin and the bell.

Rating: D+. Again boring but again not bad. This wasn’t bad really but it needed a lot more to be worth anything. It’s sad when a boring match is a breath of fresh air. This is already a failure of a show so there we are.

We recap Nasty Boys vs. Harlem Heat. How are the Nastys still on TV today? More or less they just fight each other. There’s not much more than that.

Nasty Boys vs. Harlem Heat

Remember it’s Texas Tornado rules. What does Kerry Von Erich have to do with this? And we have no Harlem Heat. Sherri goes to get them and of course they jump the Nastys from behind. Wait this is non title? Why? Why in the world wouldn’t this be for the belts? Oh I guess it’s the UNCENSORED thing. The no rules thing kind of helps here as it hides a lot of the faults of the Nasty Boys.

One of these faults would be no selling, as Jerry gets kicked in the FACE and just walks away. And here’s Sherri being brought in to make it really intense I guess. We brawl to the concession stand, and any real old school fan gets this instantly. Back in 1975 in this area (mainly Tennessee though), two teams had an EPIC rivalry: the Blonde Bombers (Wayne “Honky Tonk Man” Ferris and Larry “Moondog Spot” Latham) and Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee (Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee).

One night in Tupelo there was a controversial decision over the Southern tag titles where the Bombers, the heels, won the belts but the referee might have blown the call. The faces jumped them to end the show, and then later we saw what happened afterwards. These four fought into the concession stands with ketchup and mustard going everywhere. Now I know it sounds stupid and corny, but this was more or less the standard for violence until ECW came along.

I mean they ATTACKED each other and it felt real almost. Go find a copy of it as it’s well worth seeing, if nothing else from a historical perspective. So anyway, this brawl is a reference/homage to that event. Here’s the problem: that was 20 years earlier and I don’t think many people get the point. To them this is just four guys acting like idiots and it’s a comedy match. Sherri actually does look good in the leather.

See, now we’re getting to the other problem: this is boring. And we get a bell without seeing a pin. The Nasty Boys win apparently. Ok then. A replay shows that it was a powerslam from Knobbs with Stevie kicking out at the last second but the three going down anyway, another Tupelo reference.

Rating: F+. This was just bad. I get what they were going for here but it just didn’t work at all. That’s the problem here: this was just boring. It was supposed to
be a reference to a classic angle but the problem is that it came off as a really bad comedy match.

Vader and Flair yell at Hogan. Flair still has eyeliner on.

Hogan says he has an ULTIMATE surprise. Heaven help me.

Vader vs. Hulk Hogan

This is again non-title. Flair and Vader are both in the ring and the RENEGADE comes out. The idea was let’s have a guy dressed up like Warrior that kind of looks like him run around a lot and maybe some people will really think it’s him. The problem is this guy is like 5’8 or so while Warrior was 6’3. He looks like he’s in a Halloween costume or something. I’m pretty sure this is the four corners version but it’s not really made clear.

For about the 1000th time tonight we’re told IT’S UNCENSORED!!! Yep it’s four corners variety. Vader beats up Hogan for the most part until Jimmy Hart runs out. He had been missing all day in a bad storyline, leading to nothing at all. Renegade beats up Flair for the third time tonight. Vader makes another comeback and beats up Hogan, leading to his powerbomb. And of course Hogan is up in seconds.

He hits all four corners after beating up Vader. OR DOES HE??? He gets three and a masked man runs out (second in about 6 months. Have to love this original booking right?) and blasts Renegade before he gets to the fourth. There’s no referee for this whole thing mind you. Vader misses a front flip from the middle rope and lands on the chair. Where are all these wooden chairs coming from?

Vader isn’t hooked to the strap anymore so Hogan beats up Flair to make sure the universe is in order. He hooks up Flair and drags him instead I guess to win the match. If that was the case, why even tie up Flair? The Masked Man is back with a chair.

We cut to the entrance ramp to see Arn Anderson in the Masked Man’s outfit minus the mask tied at his hands and feet more or less hopping towards the ring. The Masked Man in the ring beats up Flair and Vader before revealing himself to be Savage. The trip of steroid freaks celebrate to end this mess.

Rating: G. Hogan, seriously, how big is your ego? I want to know. Let’s see. Flair: greatest world champion of all time arguably. Hogan has him in drag and being crazy, not to mention jobbing to Hogan twice, one of which was when Hogan hadn’t wrestled for a year or so.

Then we have Vader, who was built up for a year or so as the unstoppable heel and he jobs to Hogan twice in three months. Is there a point coming anytime soon? This is why Hogan wound up getting booed so often: he refused to ever lose. Yes he was the biggest star ever, but you have to lose once in awhile man.

Overall Rating: O. As in oh what do you think I’m going to give this show? This is freaking terrible. The thing is though, the idea actually isn’t that bad: a hardcore PPV. The problem is it was about as thrown together as you could ask for. None of the gimmicks made any sense and the regular matches were boring. Also the main event being non title makes it sound weak.

If the title isn’t going to change hands, why should I want to see this show? Nothing is going to change as nothing is up for grabs, so why would I really want to see this? The point of PPVs are to have big time matches that end feuds, and this didn’t do that. Also, I know I complain about Hogan in TNA a lot, but this right here is a prime example of why I do that. Look at this main event and show as a whole.

The Nasty Boys go over Harlem Heat, the world tag champions. Hogan makes Vader and Flair look like fools. Hogan celebrates the win again, and the crowd is dead. This would be the trend for the next year until at Uncensored 96 the Doomsday Cage Match happened and Hogan was so universally hated for it that the company had no other option than to turn him heel, because, you know, he couldn’t just be taken off TV and have Sting and Flair and Savage and Giant put on the TV show right? That’s crazy talk. Ignore this completely as it’s terrible.
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There are a bunch of matches here which could be considered the main event. What do you think it was?For me it’s Michaels vs. Flair.  The ending was obvious and now it means nothing, but at the time there was something that seemed like it was the biggest moment in a long time.

 

Thoughts?

Wrestlemania 24
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Taz
America The Beautiful: John Legend

Since this Mania is just over a year old, I’m going to assume that most of you already know the main ideas behind it. Your truly big match here was Ric Flair in what was known would be his last match vs. Shawn Michaels. Without a doubt to me, this should have closed the show. World Titles aside, neither match is going to be as emotional as this. Flair was offered the chance to close the show and said absolutely not which I can admire.

Your other big feuds coming into this were Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena and Edge vs. Undertaker. There was also a match between boxer Floyd “Money” Mayweather and Big Show which still boggles my mind to this day. I’ve heard some great and some bad reviews for this, so I guess we’ll have to see how well it holds up a year later.

We get a recap kind of telling us how the entire year has gone which is kind of a cool thing that would help a lot if it was a permanent thing. The open stadium concept is truly awesome and looks great. They have kind of a dome over the ring to keep the rain out which is also smart of them. After America The Beautiful, it’s time for our first match.

JBL vs. Finlay

This is a Belfast Brawl, meaning no DQ I suppose. This match/feud stems from the most absurd storyline I can ever recall as Vince had his illegitimate son Hornswoggle face him in a cage match. Vince beat him up with a belt as Finlay came in for the save. JBL then cuffed Finlay to the cage and beat up Horny.

I remember this buildup being quite good but looking back at it now, I can’t believe I actually thought this was good. Seriously, they’re fighting over a freaking midget. Then we get the DRAMATIC reveal that Horny was Finlay’s song all along. REALLY??? The tiny leprechaun that hangs out with the Irishman who is the only person on the planet that cares about him is his father? I’m stunned.

They start on the floor and the bell hasn’t actually rung yet. Ok so it’s one of those kind of fights. JBL gets a big shot with a trashcan and Finlay is in trouble early on. JBL had lost a ton of weight and actually looked fairly lean by this point. After he takes forever to get some stairs into the ring his Piledriver on them fails though and here comes the older dude.

Nothing all that special here as it’s back and forth but intense for the most part. Well as intense as this match could be that is. Both guys control for awhile and then get hit by something to break the momentum. Is it bad that seeing Horny all scared and nervous makes me laugh and smile?

Finlay busts out a table as JR tries to make this seem all serious and such. It’s set up in the corner as I’m getting into this far more than I should. DOWN GOES THE MIDGET! Finlay goes the heck off on him with trashcan lids and JBL is more or less done on the floor. A suicide dive eats lid though and Finlay is in trouble all over again.

More going off follows as the crowd is into this. I’m not sure why but this is actually working pretty freaking well. It’s not a great match or anything but it’s very fun. JBL finally goes through the table for a LONG two. Finlay comes at him with stairs but JBL gets a kendo stick shot into the knee. The Clothesline From JBL ends it though. Fun match.

Rating: C+. If there has ever been a match where the term “fine for what it was” is appropriate, this is it. This match was designed to get the crowd going a bit and not be anything serious and that’s exactly what they went out and did. Nothing bad here at all but nothing to go out of your way to see. Run of the mill hardcore match but rather fun, and that’s all fine and good.

Kennedy says he’s going to repeat as MITB. Kim Kardashian did the interviews at this show so at least we have something nice to look at.

Money in the Bank: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy

 

You know the drill by now I’m sure. It’s weird to see Morrison as a heel. Morrison is a tag champion, MVP is US Champion and Jericho is IC Champion here. Nice to see the titles being treated so well here. I wouldn’t expect to see much in the area of play by play here as it’s way too much to call move for move.

Everyone not named MVP runs out to grab a ladder so he steals Kennedy’s when it comes into the ring. He and Jericho have a joust with them with the Canadian winning. Morrison grabs a ladder and puts it perpendicular to himself. He then climbs to the top and moonsaults while still holding the ladder to take out just about everyone! Sweet looking stuff!

Kennedy and Jericho are left in the ring with Jericho launching Kennedy into a ladder. Kennedy is like screw that and holds on before scurrying up. Morrison rides a ladder from the corner onto the middle ladder to stop Kennedy in an awesome spot. Kennedy sets for a suplex but Shelton jumps over Kennedy in a sunset powerbomb which pulls Morrison over too in a Tower of Doom spot. This is all in less than four minutes mind you.

With everyone more or less dead Punk goes up but just kind of stops so Shelton can make the save. GTS to Shelton and Punk goes up again. Carlito makes the save as I forgot he was even in this at all. There’s a ladder between the ring and the railing which makes me think nothing is going to go well for the ladder.

And I’m right as Shelton almost makes it up there but gets the whole ladder shoved over and flips onto the bridged ladder, breaking it in the middle. Morrison almost makes it but gets caught in the Walls by Jericho in a spot he and Benoit did at the 01 Rumble. Now Kennedy comes up so Punk has to springboard up. Carlito enacts Puerto Rican Affirmative Action and gets up as well, giving us five guys on two ladders.

Naturally they all fall down and leave Jericho there but Carlito saves it. Total spotfest so far. Backstabber off the ladder to Jericho and everyone is dead until MVP gets his wits about him. With no one in sight, Matt Freaking Hardy runs through the crowd and gets a Twist of Fate off the top to save the match. MVP had hurt Matt a few months ago.

Morrison is under a ladder in the corner and Jericho wedges the top of another into the rungs of the one in the corner, kind of making a big V shape. Morrison shoves the original one forward which allows him to be able to climb the ladder without having to have it open due to the wedge design. This is awesome stuff. Naturally Morrison gets crotched on the top but it’s still cool looking.

Jericho goes up again but Carlito spits apple at him instead. Kennedy drills him and shoves him off but Punk drills Kennedy. Jericho pops up again and hits the Codebreaker with a ladder to take out Punk. Punk more or less no sells it though and climbs up to stop Jericho as everyone else is pretty much dead. Punk knocks Jericho down into the Tree of Woe and grabs the case to win it. Total war the whole way through.
Rating: B. It was a wild brawl, but we just got done with a wild brawl. This was solid and the backflip ladder spot was sweet looking. Other than Matt returning though, there’s not much to hate. This was Jeff Hardy’s to win before he got wellnessed out of it. Another fun match and one of the best MITB matches ever as it was a total spotfest the whole way, which it’s supposed to be.

Hall of Fame Ceremony. This is Flair’s class, but he’s in the back getting ready so his kids accept it. The only ones that truly belong in to me are Flair, Solie, and the Briscos.

HHH is ready.
Snoop Dog is here. He sends Festus after Santino in a dumb segment.

Batista vs. Umaga

This is the Brand Supremacy match that was thrown together because there was nothing for either of these guys. I really wouldn’t expect this to be anything resembling good. Power match to start us off as you would of course expect. The GMs, Teddy and Regal, are here also. Umaga gets a spinwheel kick to take down Batista and take over.

A big boot sends the Animal to the floor. There’s the nerve hold as it’s all Umaga here. Middle rope headbutt misses though and here comes the Animal again. And so much for that as we hit the nerve hold again. This is rivetingly bad if that wasn’t clear. Samoan Drop mostly ends Batista so of course it only gets two.

Batista gets a quick comeback and so much for that as it’s over already. Samoan Spike is blocked though and Umaga’s head eats post. Spinebuster puts him down and the Batista Bomb ends it clean. WOW. That might be the least interesting match I have ever seen, which is saying a lot.
Rating: F+. These two had no chemistry together at all and it showed badly. This match was a waste as you had a multi-time world champion against a top mid carder. These brand supremacy things are rarely good and this was no exception. The other stupid part was Batista went to Raw a few weeks later. Totally bad match and I have no idea what they were going for here, but it didn’t work at all.

Mayweather vs. Show is anything goes and you can win by knockout.

Mayweather and company are here.
ECW Title-Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Kane won a battle royal before the show started to get this shot. By the time I was done typing that previous sentence the match ends. Here’s your match: bell rings, Kane chokeslams Chavo, pinfall.

Rating: N/A. There’s no match here so I can’t rate it, but this was exactly what was needed. Kane absolutely dominated here and it made him look like a monster. Well done actually.

Painfully bad Mania promo for the show that is already on.
Raven Simone does something for Make-A-Wish. Can’t stand her but it’s a cool charity.
Note: the following was written BEFORE Flair signed in TNA and before he came back to WWE in 2009.

And here it is. This is the match that defines this Wrestlemania. Many people, including myself, feel that this should have been the final match of the night. We knew that Flair was going to lose, but it’s the pure symbolism of the match that’s important. Many people have this match because it’s “an old man that should have retired 10 years ago.”

To them I have one thing to say: get the heck over yourselves. Ric Flair was the man that drove the NWA and WCW through the roof in the 1980s. Without him, Sting, Luger and the Horsemen, and therefore DX, the NWO and the Monday Night Wars don’t happen.

Ric Flair means more to this business than all but a very few and if he wants to wrestle until his body falls apart then so be it. When anyone, and I mean ANYONE, can last in the business at a high level for as long as he has, let me know. I’ll be at my wedding to Trish Stratus.

Some people like to talk about how Flair needed to hang it up. Maybe those people need to SHUT it up and let the man do what he wants. Vince didn’t let him go did he? I’m willing to go out on a short limb and say Vince has forgotten more about wrestling than any of us will ever know, so get off your high smarky horses.

As for the other participant in this match, Shawn Michaels may not have been the perfect choice here, but I don’t have a problem with it being him at all. So what if he and Flair are friends in real life? It’s Flair’s last match and if he wants to go out to Shawn, then blast it he should be able to go out to Shawn. Shawn puts on his best this time of year so why should this be any different?
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

The intros for both guys are of course great. You can tell the fans and the entire world knows that Flair is losing here but that’s fine here much like it can be at other times. We exchange hammerlocks to start and no one can get an extended advantage. They shove each other and Flair shouts OLD YELLER HUH?

Flair might have bitten his lip or something as it’s busted open a tiny bit. Shawn goes up but gets slammed off in a nice little touch. Flair goes up and GETS A CROSS BODY for two. That was kind of awesome. Old men flying through the air is cool for some reason. Baseball slide takes down Flair again though Shawn misses an Asai Moonsault and slams into the table, possibly legitimately injuring his ribs.

A nearly perfect suplex gets two for Flair as he’s hitting everything perfectly here. Remember if he loses he has to retire so they’re playing up the fight for survival deal here and it’s working for the most part I think. Shawn gets a neckbreaker to come back and hits a moonsault off the top to the floor to leave both guys laying. When I say hits I mean Flair sticks an arm out which slows Shawn down a bit mind you.

Forearm sets up the nipup and here comes Shawn despite not really being in trouble for the most part. There’s the elbow and Shawn sets for the superkick but can’t do it. Flair is like ok then and double scoops the legs to throw on the Figure Four. Flair has aged about ten years in this match so far. The rope is grabbed soon and we go to the backslide sequence that Flair has done a million times. That being said, Flair can’t really do it due to his age. That’s rather sad.

Flair goes back to the knee and now we get the REAL Figure Four. I guess the other was just a preview edition. Shawn reverses though into a cradle for two. Enziguri misses and THERE is the Figure Four. A rope is grabbed again but this time more damage is done here. However Flair does one WOO too many and gets drilled by the kick for two as Shawn couldn’t cover immediately.

Shawn sets for the kick again but Flair gets a low blow which brings a nice little smile to my face. That only gets two though as this is fairly solid stuff. Shawn gets his disfigured figure four on but like Flair is going to lose to that. He’s Shawn Michaels, not Jay Lethal. A rollup get two for Flair and they chop it out. Shawn is like screw it and kicks his head off. Flair gets up again, and although Shawn is sorry and he loves Flair, the third superkick ends Flair’s career. Well for about a year or so at least.

Rating: A. As I said, this wasn’t about the match. This was about saying goodbye to one of the greatest performers of all time. That night, the titles weren’t important, the atmosphere wasn’t important, and the show wasn’t important. This night was about Ric Flair saying goodbye to being an in ring competitor.

Should this match have gone on last? Yes I think that it should have. Nothing, and I mean nothing, was as important to the industry as the moment when his final match ended. It was a sad day, as Flair didn’t get to go out on his own terms completely, but at least he went out on the biggest stage in the world.

As for the match, it’s not nearly as bad as people make it out to be. Yes, some spots are blown. Yes, we knew what was going to happen. Some find “I’m sorry, I love you” to be corny. That’s fine that you think that way, but this match almost had me in tears all over again.

It’s so sad to see Ric Flair having reached the point where he can’t bridge up for a backslide anymore. This man was once the greatest performer in the entire world and now he can’t do a simple reversal spot. He broke out all of his old classics including the cross body block that made him famous by giving him the world title at the first ever Starrcade. This match isn’t great from a wrestling perspective but it’s more than that. This match is about the end of an era.

Flair gets a big sad moment but the real one would come tomorrow.
Edge says the Streak ends tonight.

So who gets to follow that match? I hate to say it but whoever they are, their match is going to go down a letter grade or so as it’s simply not going to be easy to touch what just happened.

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Oh screw it. I was going to try to be nice to whatever came next and I get “bunnymania”? Well crud. This is a lumberjill match, hosted by Snoop Dog in a pitiful attempt to bring celebrity status to this show. He’s driving something that looks like a golf cart that looks stupid. Santino is here to annoy all of us again as he helps the heels cheat to win.

Well at least Maria looks good. Actually only Ashley doesn’t here. Beth has to sell for this Ashley pest which makes my head hurt quite a bit. Snoop is so stoned he can’t stop smiling. Sweet merciful crap make this end already. Total time in before my head hurts: 34 seconds. Well I lasted longer than I thought I could.

The girls on the floor waste their usual time and no one cares at all. Maria saves Ashley. You can see the issue here with her being the better worker of the team. And there go the lights. Yeah you can’t see anything at all for about a minute or so. Ah there’s a spotlight. Well that helps a little I guess.

Glam Slam is blocked and we get some heel miscommunication. The lumberjacks get involved again and Maria gets two on Beth. Here’s Santino but Lawler attacks him which led to nothing of note. Beth pins Maria after Musclebuster. Snoop attacks Santino and kisses Maria, somehow making me less interested than I was when this started. This led to Glamarella if you’re interested for some reason.

Rating: F. Another waste of time in a bad match. How long is it going to take for the WWE to realize something: someone that is willing to be in a magazine doesn’t mean they can wrestle. The teams should have been switched so Melina can face Beth, as both can actually work. The lights went out during this match, as God himself is showing that he doesn’t care, and neither did I. Such a waste of time.

Recap of the Raw World Title match. Orton was champion, Cena got in by winning the Rumble and challenging Orton at No Way Out but Orton got intentionally DQed, and HHH is in because he won the Elimination Chamber that same night. I have never once liked three way matches for world titles at Mania.

The idea is supposed to be one on one for the heavyweight championship of the world, not three guys with false finish after false finish. I am however glad that this isn’t the main event of the night. It wasn’t the biggest match of the night and it wasn’t billed as such.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. HHH

Cena gets a full marching band entrance here. That’s rather awesome. Everyone goes after each other to start and we’re on the floor already. FU attempt on Orton almost immediately but he gets nowhere with it as HHH apparently fears Cena as he’d rather save Orton than get rid of him. You can tell Cena isn’t taking this seriously: he isn’t in his black jeans.

Orton gets both guys down and covers both of them multiple times which gets him nowhere. He keeps up the advantage though by slowly, and I do mean SLOWLY stomping both guys. Wouldn’t he give them more time to recover by taking so much time like that? Couldn’t he do better by stomping their heads the whole time? Double elevated DDT and our heroes are in trouble!

Cena comes back and hits the Throwback to HHH and the Fameasser to Orton but Orton manages to send Cena into the post on the floor to buy himself some time. Back to Hunter vs. Randall now. HHH works the knee but Cena comes in to distract him. Once John goes down the RKO takes down HHH.

Cena saves of course and the STFU to Orton has him in trouble. This is going by FAST. Cena tells him to tap but Orton doesn’t listen. I guess Cena isn’t one of the voices in his head. Back with HHH now as he hooks a freaking Indian Deathlock on Orton. WOW he’s busting out the way old stuff here. HHH back to the floor thanks to Cena and there’s the STFU again.

HHH literally comes in to pull Cena’s arms off of Cena. I guess HHH wants to cuddle him. He throws a Crossface on Cena for fun. I know he wants the title but I didn’t think he wanted to kill him. The fans are all over Cena here and it’s kind of funny to see. Boo/Yay thing with the punches and here comes Cena.

He initiates the ending sequence on HHH and sets for the FU but gets taken down by a clothesline. Pedigree and STFU are reversed but a facebuster and clothesline set up the spinebuster which sets up the Pedigree. Orton Punts HHH out of nowhere and climbs on Cena for the pin to retain. Nice little ending there.
Rating: C+. It’s ok and that’s all. Like I said, there’s nothing special here whatsoever. It’s not a bad match but it’s just ok. There was nothing Mania-like here at all. It was three men in a standard formula match. Why should I get emotionally invested into this match? There was no reason for me to and simply put, I didn’t.

We recap the boxer vs. wrestler thing. Okay, this feud has been over and done with for a solid year and there’s one thing I’d still like to know: WHO IN THE WORLD WAS THE FACE SUPPOSED TO BE??? This feud was ridiculous.

In case you don’t know, Big Show returned at No Way Out and got in the face of a really good boxer named Floyd “Money” Mayweather, who legitimately broke his nose with a punch. This led to a feud between the two, culminating in this match.

Over the course of the 5-6 weeks, we got terrible promos from Mayweather and Show and it was never once made clear who the face was. Should we cheer for the underdog that is an outsider or for the monster that looks like a bully? That was never answered which is a problem.
Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Mayweather does the whole raining money deal. Naturally Floyd has gloves on. Mayweather dodges a lot and that gets him nowhere as we’re more or less just killing time for awhile. Floyd throws punches which don’t do much. This is going NOWHERE. Out of boredom, Show beats up one of Floyd’s posse.

Show grabs Mayweather’s hand and tries to step on it which doesn’t work. This is about 85% standing around and “jockeying for position”. Show almost gets a chokeslam but Floyd gets on his back for a choke. After nearly a minute and a half of this, Show flips him over and steps on his hands to send Floyd’s posse into a frenzy.

Big chop by Show in the corner as the posse shouts that Show can’t do various things, such as stand on his chest. I hate this match very deeply at the moment. Them shouting THIS IS FOR YOUR KIDS when Mayweather has like 50 million dollars makes me sick. He has money. I don’t want to hear about how he’s doing this for his kids. If they can’t survive off the paychecks he makes already, there’s a major problem.

Show hurts him a lot and drops an elbow. This is AWFUL. The posse pulls him out, Show goes to get him, he beats up the posse, the posse tries to give Floyd a chair, Show beats that guy up again, Mayweather pops Show with the chair and a shot with brass knuckles ends this via knockout, FINALLY.
Rating: D-. This was a mess. These things rarely work and this was following the norm of not working. Mayweather is simply too small to get this to work. He stands 5’8 and while he’s a great boxer, no one honestly believed that he could beat Show.

There’s no way to make this work: if Mayweather wins, Big Show looks weak. If Show wins, he beat a tiny man at Show’s own game on his turf. Either way there’s no way to make this work and they didn’t have one.

The other thing that’s a problem is that Mayweather has no business wrestling. He’s a puncher, but even with that there’s no way to believe that he has a chance here. They tried to make this look competitive, but the crowd was completely behind Mayweather for the simple reason of he’s average sized and Big Show is……well he’s BIG. This did not do it for me at all.

There’s a new attendance record.

Taker gets this title shot from winning the Rumble. That’s all you need to know.
Smackdown Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge brings out Vickie in the wheelchair. Taker’s entrance remains completely awesome. He came out first which is odd yet traditional. What an odd thing to see. Edge is a four time champion here, meaning he’s won a world title every six months since then. Keeping in mind that he hasn’t had one since April of 2009, that says a lot.

Very basic stuff to start as we’re not going anywhere so far. Old School is countered but Taker shifts around in mid air into an arm drag. It gets NO reaction. That’s saying a lot as no one cares after something I don’t remember seeing before. Taker gets a running knee to the head and goes over the top in a nice looking move. Taker may have hurt his arm though.

Edge takes over and almost gets a countout. He goes up and gets caught like any good heel and here comes the Deadman. VERY slow pace so far as each short sequence they’re doing is taking 2-3 minutes each. Lash Ride won’t work as Taker’s back is messed up from various attacks by the evil Canadian. Edge drops Taker’s back over the railing and the Deadman is in trouble.

In the ring again and Edge throws on a half crab as a joke I suppose. Much like everything else in this match, that goes on for two minutes. They slug it out and take a guess who wins that. They FINALLY speed things up a bit as the chokeslam is countered into the Edgecution for two. Spear is avoided and the chokeslam gets two.

Old School is blocked AGAIN for two as Edge pounds away in the corner like an IDIOT. Last Ride is countered into a neckbreaker for two. Taker calls for the Tombstone but Edge counters AGAIN into the Edge-O-Matic for two. The third Old School hits and Edge is in trouble again. And there goes the referee to a big boot. Ok where are the cronies?

Low blow takes down the Deadman as does a camera shot but there’s still no referee. Like an idiot, Edge goes for a Tombstone and is reversed but there’s no referee. Charles Robinson runs down to count two. I don’t think you can count that as Edge doing the same as Batista and Shawn kicking out of all the finishers though so we won’t do it.

Ah I was right. Here are Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder (shut up about him being in the Mania main event) and never mind as a double chokeslam gets rid of them. Spear from nowhere gets two and the fans are into it now. Edge sets for another spear but runs into the whatever that thing is called for the chokeout and submission.

Rating: A-. There’s just something missing from this match and I just can’t place it. All the elements are there as Edge and Taker are both well established main event players, the Streak is on the line and Taker gets a world title at Mania like he should, but there’s just something missing from it. Maybe it’s that these matches were done better later in the year. Either way, it’s certainly good, but not a masterpiece.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s a lot of good stuff here, but there’s only one truly good match. Yet again the tradition of messing things up with the Brand Split comes into play as the best match doesn’t go on last. This show should have been about Ric Flair, not a world title. Not many people can get that honor but it should have happened here.

At the end of the day, no one cared about what happened in the two title matches, or any other match for that matter. Flair going on in the middle of the show hurts it a lot. Other than him, there’s nothing noteworthy here to me at all. The show isn’t bad, but it’s hardly memorable. Mild recommendation but don’t go out of your way for it.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 1, 2004
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Based on what I can find, this is the 600th episode of Raw (again remembering that WWE has issues with numbers at times). I figured I’d do this, #700 and #800 straight through just to get them out of the way. This is part of the buildup to Survivor Series 2004 which was Team HHH vs. Team Orton, so some of the matches tonight are about that feud. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Evolution named themselves as the hosts of the show in Bischoff’s absence. The guys that would become Team Orton stood up to him which he didn’t like. This resulted in Orton vs. Flair which Orton had to win to be able to ever challenge HHH again. HHH interfered to give Flair the win, even though Orton, Maven and Jericho all interfered. A big HHH beatdown ensued.

Theme song.

Gene Snitsky vs. Eugene

Snitsky is the evil monster of the month, having Pillmanized Kane’s neck at Taboo Tuesday. This is a hardcore match and we see Regal in the back and Regal says that he’ll be there with Eugene tonight in this evil match. Eugene says no he has to stand on his own two feet.
Snitsky brought his weapons out in a baby carriage which is pretty awesome. Eugene grabs a kendo stick to control early but Snitsky comes back with a few chain shots.

Here’s the majority of the match: Snitsky beats on Eugene, Eugene gets in a single shot to get a breather, Snitsky beats him down even more. Eugene is about to have his throat Pillmanized so he makes his brief comeback, only to walk into a pumphandle powerslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here, but that was the point with Snitsky. The problem with that was once the Kane feud was over, there wasn’t much left for him to do and he went the way of most monsters. That’s fine though as at least he got his run in the company and that’s all people like him can ask for.

Snitsky sets to Pillmanize Eugene’s neck but Regal with the brass knuckles makes the save.

HhH criticizes everyone that attacked him, as well as the people that threw him into the ring for the beating, because he’s the guy that brings the people into the arena. He’s putting the food on their families’ table. You just know he believes everything he’s saying too. HHH won’t be here in the arena tonight so let’s see how the show does tonight. He’s great and without him, Raw is nothing.

Tajiri of all people is asked what he thinks of HHH so he quotes Network and hits on the very hot Maria. Flair and Batista pop up to massacre him.

Flair and Batista keep walking and head out to the ring. Think they might want to talk about The Game a little? Flair says what happened last week was unacceptable and what happened to Tajiri just now will happen to everyone unless something changes. Bischoff, either fix it or face the consequences. Bischoff comes out and announces the Raw matches for Survivor Series, including Christian vs. Shelton for the IC Title, Lita vs. Trish for the Women’s Title, and Team Orton (Orton, Maven, Benoit, Jericho) vs. Team HHH (HHH, Batista, Edge and Snitsky).

Flair is annoyed about not being on the team but Bischoff says he doesn’t really care. He’s mad at Evolution for not helping him when he got his head shaved at Taboo Tuesday. Eric has gotten nothing out of sucking up to Evolution for two and a half years, so after Survivor Series, Eric is taking a month long vacation. Batista says that’s stupid and threatens Eric, so Eric says get over it, because without the world title HHH is nothing. The winning team gets to control Raw for that month. This was almost a face turn for Bischoff but nothing would come of that.

Hurricane vs. Christian

This is a result of some sneak attack by Christian recently. About five seconds into the match, here’s Edge (I believe debuting Metalingus (the Alter Bridge song)) to promote his book as the match is going on. Hurricane has a headlock on Christian as Edge talks about how he doesn’t like Peoria. It wasn’t nice of those people to not vote him in at Taboo Tuesday but he’ll write an epilogue for that later. JR seems annoyed so Edge offers him a signed copy. The match is nothing and the camera is mostly on Edge during this.

Edge leaves and Hurricane comes back with a clothesline. Neckbreaker gets two as does a top rope cross body. Hurricane is sent into the post and the Unprettier ends this. I’m not going to review this due to the length and the majority of it being about Edge talking about the book and the match being background noise.

Shelton chases Christian off so Christian says he has a new problem solver because Tomko is hurt. Cue Viscera for a double beatdown and a World’s Strongest Slam.

Here’s Edge who says he’s here to defend the titles with Benoit, despite walking out on him at Taboo Tuesday. Benoit pops up and Edge takes one of the belts from him. Edge warns Benoit he might be defending on his own tonight and Benoit is ok with that.

Maven goes into Evolution’s locker room, probably due to those eyebrows weighing down his brain. For the life of me I don’t get why they picked Maven for this spot. He tells Dave and Ric that something is going to happen to Evolution. Flair gets defensive but Orton and Jericho pop up behind them and Evolution backs down.

Here’s Simon Dean in the ring for a promo about his Simon System. Be glad this isn’t in Philly because even though Dean is an ECW guy, he’d get murdered by the crowd. He insults some fans, calls them fat, calls in a “fan”, makes fun of him, fan goes nuts and Simon beats him up. That took about seven minutes.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

Conway and Grenier this time. Edge isn’t here to start so the French Canadians pound on the Canadian whose Canadian partner isn’t here yet, prompting a USA chant. Or are they cheering for Conway? Either way he starts with Benoit who has to fight off both of them. Neckbreaker by Conway puts Benoit down and the challengers take over. Benoit goes off on both of them with release Germans and here’s Edge.

Edge is walking around the ring for awhile. And never mind as he’s on the apron now. Grenier pounds on Benoit but Chris breaks through, only to have Edge walk out on him. Back with no Edge in the ring because he’s on commentary now. This is when the commentary desk was near the entrance. Edge and Jerry are talking about the book at Benoit gets worked over even more.

Benoit hits a clothesline but there’s no Edge to make the tag to. Back to Grenier who stomps away. Benoit comes back and suplexes both of them with ease. He snaps off the Rolling Germans as Jerry talks about a picture of Edge’s puppy. Edge goes down to ringside because he thinks Benoit needs a hand. There’s the Swan Dive and Crossface to Grenier but Edge distracts the referee and Au Revoir (suplex/side slam combo) gives us new champions.

Rating: D+. This was a handicap match and on that front, it was pretty boring. That being said, this was all about the angle instead of a match, which is fine. This was around the time that the tag titles were rapidly dying in importance, and a lot of that is for stuff like this. Edge basically said “here you take this, it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Edge lays out Benoit with a belt and busts him open. A spear puts him Chris down as well. Edge puts Benoit in the Crossface to complete the psycho heel turn. Benoit taps.

Flair rants to Bischoff because that’s all he knows how to do. Bischoff isn’t going to punish Team Orton so tonight it’s Maven/Orton/Jericho vs. Flair/Batista/HHH if HHH shows up. Otherwise it’s a handicap match.

Here are the debuting Muhammad Hassan and Daivari. Hassan says he’s an Arab-American and a Muslim but since 9/11, he’s been branded a terrorist. This had potential…I think, but when you bring in the idea of terrorism you’re asking for trouble.

We run down the rest of the Survivor Series card, including JBL vs. Booker and Taker vs. Heidenreich. Oh…..fun.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Shelton has bad ribs here. Viscera hits him in the ribs and takes the tape off. This goes very slowly because that’s as fast as Viscera can go. Shelton rams him into the middle buckle and splashes him, but the T-Bone isn’t going to work. Choke bomb is countered and Shelton wins with the Dragon Whip.

Rating: F. What in the world was the point of this? Was it supposed to make us want to see Shelton vs. Christian? There’s no history between Viscera and Christian but apparently just saying they work together now means something. The match sucked on top of that and Viscera was gone soon thereafter.

Smackdown ReBound is about Tough Enough, which only resulted in Miz coming in second. He was somehow even goofier looking back then. They had to call out Big Show and then he slammed all of them. Oh and Ryan Reeves was in this too. You know him better as Skip Sheffield.

Here’s Trish who is much hotter when she’s evil. She’s been getting wishes from her family for safety because her career and life might be in danger. We get a video on Lita called the Kiss of Death. Essa Rios disappeared, as did the Hardys and the show Dark Angel. She comes back to be with Matt and Matt gets injured. She marries Kane and starts to like him so Snitsky hurts him. Then after all that, Lita lost her baby. She’s fat too. Cue Lita who is MAD. Lita takes her down and beats the tar out of her but Gail Kim runs in for a 2-1 beatdown. Trish hit a level as top heel Diva around this point that hasn’t been topped since.

Smack Down Your Vote!

Chris Jericho/Randy Orton/Maven vs. Evolution

No HHH so it’s 3-2. Orton and Batista start things off with Batista not quite being his awesome self yet. It was coming very soon though. Batista uses pure power to take Orton down and it’s off to Flair for a slugout, won by Orton. Powerslam puts Flair down and it’s off to Y2J. Jericho takes him down with the usual stuff and sets for the Walls but Batista comes in for the save. Team Orton all stares him down and Big Dave backs off.

Orton suplexes Flair back and Maven adds a missile dropkick. We go back in to Jericho for the sake of talent and it’s a big beatdown. Maven chokes Flair ala Flair as the referee has his back turned in a nice touch. The referee looks at Batista so Jericho hits Flair low. Flair avoids the Walls by kicking him into the corner where Batista can get in a shot. Off to Big Dave who hits a spinebuster for two.

Off to Flair who hammers on Jericho with his usual punches and chops. Jericho comes back with the running enziguri to give us a Flair Flop. Double tag brings in Orton and Batista with Orton cleaning house. Powerslam gets two on Batista. Flair and Batista try to walk and…IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME. And never mind because it’s Tajiri doing a HHH impression. The match breaks down and everyone hits their finishers on Batista, ending with the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was pretty dull and I really don’t get what Tajiri added to it. HHH being imitated is always good and Tajiri is usually funny but it didn’t click here. Anyway, decent match with the Flair stuff being great as he got his own tricks used on him, but the rest was pretty dull.

Team Orton and Tajiri celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very odd show. The show itself worked well but if you’re not into the stories, which a lot of people weren’t in 2004, this didn’t do much for you. The Trish vs. Lita stuff was great and Bischoff’s face turn was promising, but without it ever meaning anything, it’s just a promise that doesn’t mean much. Decent show but nothing memorable.

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SuperBrawl 1999
Date: February 21, 1999
Location: Oakland Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 15,880
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Back to WCW to get three more shows down. This time we’re closing out 1999 which was the year when everything fell apart for these guys. The main event tonight is, wait for it, wait for it……HOGAN VS. FLAIR!!! Other than that we have a double elimination tournament final for the tag titles and Hall vs. Piper in what I’m sure will be a classic. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about various people that have won the world title. We get shots of their heads spinning around and audio of them winning the title. Then there are clips of Goldberg and Bigelow who also fight tonight.

The announcers talk about how Flair has EVERYTHING in wrestling riding on him tonight, whatever that means here.

We get a video on the tag title tournament which is double elimination for no apparent reason other than WCW has to have things be more complicated than needed. We get promos from the Horsemen who don’t have much to say. Windham and Hennig already beat the Horsemen once, because I guess you need to see the match for free before you decide if you want to pay to see it again.

But wait, we’re STILL not ready for the opening match because Gene needs to talk about the Hotline first.

Disco Inferno vs. Booker T

Disco is in the Wolfpac here to give you an idea how far the NWO has fallen. Why are these two fighting? Who cares, it’s not important enough to mention apparently. Ok to be fair we do get a clip from Thunder of Disco getting on Harlem Heat’s nerves because Stevie is in the Black and White so Booker jumped him in defense of his family. That’s better than nothing. Booker is just starting to become a big deal in singles competition.

After almost ten minutes into the show, we get the opening bell. And never mind as it’s time to pose. Booker hiptosses Disco and Tony tries to explain why WCW is still fighting the NWO. There’s a Disco Sucks chant as the crowd seems very hot tonight. Disco comes back with a very nice spinning neckbreaker. Booker slams him but Disco kicks him off. Disco is hanging in there more than you would expect. Oh wait, dance break.

Disco comes back again with some basic stuff and then a chinlock. They’re looking crips here instead of just going through the motions here and it’s really helping. Disco closes him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Disco slams him and drops a middle rope elbow for two. Booker comes back with kicks, resulting in the ax kick but he doesn’t go up yet.

Disco comes back AGAIN (not a bad thing) but jumps into an Alabama Slam. Brain calls it an ax kick and even Tony thinks he sounds crazy. Disco takes him down for about the fifth time but the Chartbuster is countered. Side Kick sets up the Harlem Hangover (top rope flipping legdrop) gets the pin.

Rating: B-. This was WAY better than you would ever expect it to be. Disco got in a lot of offense and the match was really good as a result. Instead of a squash we got a back and forth match with Disco coming close to having a chance, which is way more than you would expect from him. Good stuff and the crowd is still hot.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn lost a loser wears a dress match to set this up. Ralphus is in a dress and Jericho is in something that looks Japanese. They started playing Saturn’s music and then changed it to Jericho, which was the right song as he came out first. Referee Scott Dickinson is involved in this somehow on Jericho’s side. Saturn is in a dress also. Jericho runs his mouth before the match and tells Saturn he looks like an idiot. That ticks Saturn off and we’re ready to go.

They go to the floor and into the crowd almost immediately. Back to ringside and Saturn goes into the barricade. Back into the ring and Saturn shifts between a German suplex into a dragon suplex before settling for a t-bone suplex. Saturn avoids a dropkick and slingshots Jericho to the floor. For no apparent reason, Saturn throws Ralphus into the ring and rips Ralphus’ dress off.

Jericho uses the distraction to pop Saturn in the head, followed by a suplex. Chris tries his posing pin but Saturn takes him down and rams his head into the mat. Jericho knocks him to the floor for a bit but misses a top rope splash back inside. Saturn, with his dress bunching up on him, kicks Jericho down and hits a frog splash. He loads up the Death Valley Driver but Jericho counters into a rollup with feet on the ropes for two.

They exchange control for a few seconds until the Canadian hits a German on the American for two. Jericho hits a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls into the Rings of Saturn. He’s too close to the ropes though and Jericho gets to the ropes. Now Saturn tries a Lionsault but Jericho rolls away and hits one of his own for two. A spinwheel kick misses for Jericho and he walks into the Death Valley Driver. Instead of covering though, Saturn hits a DVD on referee Dickinson and walks out on the match, meaning he has to keep wearing the dress.

Rating: C+. Not a great match here but they picked things up towards the end. Then they got to the end and things got a lot worse. The Saturn dress thing went on for awhile while Jericho just went through the motions for the next few months before he finally got to go to the WWF in August.

Rey and Konnan are giving an interview on the internet. It’s Rey’s mask vs. Liz’s hair in a tag match later.

We recap Page vs. Scott Steiner. Steiner wants Kimberly and I think threw her out of a moving car. That match is later apparently.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Billy is defending. These two were a team in the tag title tournament but have split up obviously. Kidman sends him to the floor and Chavo yells at the fans. Luger is out of the tag match with Nash tonight and Nash has a replacement. Back in for a few seconds but Chavo is knocked right back outside. Kidman follows this time and gets pulled from the apron into the barricade to give the challenger control.

A weak brainbuster gets two. Off to a chinlock by Chavo as Tony and Bobby debate what it means to be aggressive. Chavo knocks him to the floor and hits a gorgeous flip dive to the floor. Kidman comes back with a top rope cross body for two. Chavo starts working on the back to try to slow Kidman down. He tries to powerbomb him but gets backdropped and Kidman gets in a dropkick as Chavo comes off the top. The selling is really quick in this match.

Kidman tries to take him into the corner but Chavo takes over and hits a top rope rana for two. The crowd is DEAD for this which is both not surprising and a bit annoying because the match isn’t that bad. At the end of the day though, it’s not that bad which is probably why they’re so dead. Chavo hits an elevated DDT with Kidman draped over the top rope for two. He tries a powerbomb but Kidman counters into a facejam (one of his signature moves) and the Shooting Star Press gets the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad but we’ve seen Cruiserweight matches so many times before and a lot of them are a lot better than this one. Chavo was never the kind of high flier that was going to make people say WOW when he wrestled which is fine because he’s a heel here, but he didn’t have the heel attitude yet to back that up. Still though, it was fine for a 9 minute match.

Quick video on Bigelow vs. Goldberg.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Since WCW is stupid, in this case if the cowboys get the first win, they win the titles (they’re vacant coming in). If the Horsemen (Malenko/Benoit as it occurs to me that all four have been Horsemen at one point) win the first fall, they have a second match. The cowboys have beaten the Horsemen once already in this tournament. Tony goes into a long explanation of how the teams have motivation to win the match, because WINNING THE TITLES isn’t a good enough reason.

Dean and Barry start things off with Barry running away a lot. They go to the mat and Dean rolls Windham around a bit so it’s a double tag. Tony explains how three of the four guys in here are second generation wrestlers. Heenan: “So is (referee) Mickie Jay.” Tony: “Who is his father?” Heenan: “Well he wasn’t a wrestling referee. He umpired a peewee football league in Moline, Illinois.” Heenan’s on tonight with the comedy.

Hennig gets chopped to the floor and runs from Malenko. Off to Barry vs. Benoit Windham gets thrown around and it’s off to Malenko who hits a dropkick but I think Windham was supposed to hold the rope to avoid the contact. There might have been a tag in there somewhere but it’s Barry vs. Dean still anyway. Even Tony says that was kind of odd. Hennig comes in for a double clothesline which missed but Dean sells it for two anyway.

Dean manages a bridging pin of some sort as the crowd is quiet again. That’s a shame as they were white hot for the opener. Dean rolls through and tags Benoit in after not having much damage done to him. Chris cleans house and backdrops a cheating Windham. Backbreaker gets two on Curt. Back to Dean who gets two off a belly to back suplex. Benoit comes in again and the referee literally has his back to the action for about 20 seconds. Swan Dive hits Hennig but Windham makes the save again.

Now Dean covers him but the referee STILL isn’t paying attention. It’s not even a heel thing. He’s just not doing that well in this match. The fans are booing him now. Curt gets crotched on the top so Dean dropkicks him down to the apron. Everything breaks down and throwing someone over the top isn’t a DQ this time for whatever reason. The referee is with Barry again but turns around to see Hennig hit Dean low. Think that’s a DQ? Nope, as Barry comes back in to suplex Malenko for two.

Now the referee doesn’t pay attention as the Cowboys beat up Malenko on the floor. Barry covers him with one hand for two and it’s back to Hennig. The fans aren’t thrilled with this match. Benoit comes in before he’s tagged but the referee is cool with that. The crowd is dying quickly. Back to Barry who hits the superplex but Dean saves. By “saves”, I mean doesn’t touch him but Barry jumps off Benoit anyway. This is like a comedy of errors.

The Cowboys hit a double suplex (after messing up a bit first of course) for two. Hennig hits his necksnap for two. Heenan wants a flamethrower brought in here. Tony: “You are an idiot.” Dean makes a save off a Windham something that we don’t see. This match is going on WAY too long. Benoit finally breaks through and gets the hot tag. Everything breaks down and on the second attempt, the Cloverleaf makes Windham tap.

We get a thirty second rest period between falls here. The Horsemen hammer on Hennig during the break and Dean goes for the Cloverleaf again. Windham chokes him out with a belt and pins him to win the titles in 20 seconds.

Rating: D. I love the Horsemen but the refereeing was HORRIBLE here. Actually most of the match was horrible here. Aside from that, Benoit still hasn’t won a title at this point. Instead we get a title on BARRY FREAKING WINDHAM??? In 1989 sure but in 1999? Seriously? A boring match and stupid stipulations so that Benoit and Malenko can win and then not get the titles anyway. Stupid all around, but such is WCW. Malenko and Benoit would get the titles in three weeks and lose them in another two weeks.

We recap the US Title feud which somehow involves Hall, Nash, Flair, Hart, Benoit, Will Sasso from MadTV and results in Piper vs. Hall for the title later.

Outsiders vs. Rey Mysterio/Konnan

Hall is substituting for Luger. It’s Mysterio’s mask vs. Liz’s (HOT here) hair. Why? Not really worth mentioning according to the announcers. Luger is with them too. Heenan runs down the idea of lucha libre and the masks Rey wears. Rey and Hall start as Heenan keeps going. Hall throws the toothpick at him so Rey throws it back. Now why hasn’t anyone else ever done that?

Hall shoves him around with ease so Rey speeds things up with an armdrag. The Outsiders aren’t taking this seriously at all because they’re smaller. Also Konnan was recently thrown out of the Wolfpac so there’s your reason for him being in this. Dropkick knocks Rey down and a springboard Fameasser gets two. Seated Senton (called a Thesz Press for reasons of general stupidity by Tony) puts Hall down as well.

Rey tries a third springboard but jumps into the fallaway slam. Off to Nash who gets a pop as well. He literally throws Rey around and it’s back to Hall again. Hall plays the drums on Rey’s head and loads up the Outsider’s Edge but Mysterio escapes and makes the hot tag to Konnan. He cleans house for a bit but gets caught in the back by a knee from Nash and a clothesline from Hall to slow things down again.

The beating goes on for awhile as this is bordering on an extended Outsiders squash. Konnan gets in some right hands and a double clothesline takes both Hall and Konnan down. Double tag brings in Rey and Nash and it’s springboard dropkicks all around. Everything breaks down and Konnan/Rey double team both guys. Luger trips up Konnan and sends him into the steps. Rey hits a moonsault and his knee “hits” Nash in the head to knock him out cold. Liz distracts the referee so Hall can hit the Edge on Rey and put Nash on top for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world and it had the hot ending, but what does this gain? Rey in a mask is a superhero, and without it he’s just another guy. I get that you couldn’t cut Liz’s hair, but maybe that shouldn’t have been up in the first place. I mean, why would you want to have $25 masks of a popular wrestler for sale? Who would want that?

Rey takes his mask off. Nash says put it back on. Rey looks about 13, making him FAR less interesting and making his name (King of Mystery) totally worthless. Such is WCW.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Steiner is Wolfpac and champion here. There’s no transition between the matches as he celebrates with the Outsiders on their way out. Scott brings some plant (and hot) chick into the ring pre match. Page is all serious here. Steiner stalls so Page takes it to the floor. Total brawl for the most part so far with Page pounding on him for the first few minutes. Steiner knocks him into the railing but Page is right back up with a top rope clothesline and a neckbreaker.

Here’s Buff Bagwell because we can’t go five minutes without a run-in here. Bagwell gets in the ring and this is all cool. Page cleans house anyway and knocks Buff to the floor, but Buff hits Page in the back to let Steiner take over. Out to the floor and Page is sent into the barricade and Buff hammers on him some more. Both guys choke Page as Heenan repeats both announcers. This match is going nowhere.

Page gets in a tiny bit of offense here and there but we’re mainly in squash land. Page pulls Steiner’s trunks down so Tony can make his moon jokes. Buff slides in a chair and distracts the referee (why bother?) so Steiner can hit Page with it. Page escapes the Recliner with a low blow (referee was two feet away and looking right at it) as Buff uses boltcutters to take the pads off. This is like a cartoon. Buff actually gets ejected as Steiner has Page covered.

DDP knocks Steiner to the floor and Page dives onto Steiner but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. Back in Scott hits what he calls the Frankensteiner anymore for two. Page hits his jumping DDT (called the Diamond Dream, in the only time I remember hearing it called that) for a delayed two. Page tries the Cutter but Steiner sends him into the exposed buckles. Another shot into them sets up the Recliner for the referee stoppage. By Recliner I mean a chinlock because he can’t even be bothered putting Page’s arms over his knees.

Rating: D-. This was pretty awful. Steiner was pushed like a god for WAY too long, despite not many people caring about him at all. Him putting someone in the Recliner until they passed out was WCW’s version of Flair interferes, Pedigree, HHH retains from 2002-2003. Horribly bad match but they’re old guys in WCW so you know they’re not going to be that good.

Page gets taken out on a stretcher to make Steiner look even stronger. The fans chant that Page sucks.

Mark Madden talks to Bigelow who says this was his plan.

US Title: Roddy Piper vs. Scott Hall

This match alone should sum up most of WCW’s problems from this era (or most eras for that matter) in a nutshell. First of all, this is the third straight match with the Wolfpac theme music in it. Second, WCW has a roster including but not limited to: Hart, Booker T, Benoit, Mysterio, Jericho, Malenko, Saturn, Guerrero, Guerrero Jr. and probably a bunch of people that I’m forgetting, and they have Piper vs. Hall for the title and the announcers treat it like some dream match. That’s WCW for you.

Disco is with Hall here. We hear about Piper winning the US Title for the first time from Flair back in 1981. Why do you need me here? These jokes write themselves. Piper throws the kilt on Hall and pounds away at him. Piper does his usual punching, choking and poking. Oh and slapping too. Can’t forget the slapping. Hall is about to tell him to suck it so Piper hits him in the ribs then tries an actual wrestling move, hitting a neckbreaker for two.

Hall hits the shoulder blocks with the wristlock but Piper pulls the hair to take Hall down. Disco tries to interfere so Piper messes up his hair. There’s Disco’s career highlight. Hall takes a few atomic drops and Piper pokes him in the throat. Out to the floor for Piper to chase Disco but Hall rams him into the steps instead. Back inside and hall punches him down. Piper hits him low but Hall basically no sells it. Piper gets put in the Tree of Woe as Heenan says Hall is one of the top five in the world today. At what exactly?

Piper gets out of the corner and Tony praises him for doing it on his own. Off to the abdominal stretch and Piper is in trouble again. In a moment that gives me a small seizure, Heenan ACTUALLY EXPLAINS SOMETHING, saying that when Disco pulls on Hall’s arm, it’s not so much for the torque on Piper but also to prevent Piper from being able to move Hall around or hip toss him.

Disco lets go and Piper hiptosses out. Piper hooks the sleeper but Disco comes in to break it up. Disco gets beaten up and Nash runs in. Piper hits him too but Hall gets in a shot and covers with his feet on the ropes to win the title. Yeah, because SCOTT HALL is the right choice to give a title too. That gives the NWO the World, US and TV Titles. In 1999.

Rating: F. This match was awful. I mean really, PIPER VS. HALL IN 1999??? Who thinks that’s a good idea other than Piper, Hall and their mothers? Terrible match with neither guy being able to do much other than punches and really basic holds. Matches like these are the reason this company went under.

Piper, ever the sportsman, throws the title at Hall’s feet, gets in a fight with Hall and steals the belt back. Piper runs from the Outsiders and shouts something at them. Was there a point to this at all?

Oh and this match was originally going to be Bret vs. Benoit but WCW decided this was the better choice.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldberg

Goldberg gets the first real pop in an hour and a half. He’s billed from Stone Mountain here instead of Atlanta. Did they owe Jake Roberts a favor or something? I’m still trying to get over the fact that people said Austin and Goldberg looked alike. Stalling to start and they test each others’ power. Bigelow shoulder blocks him down so Goldberg picks him up for a delayed slam, sending Bigelow to the floor.

The announcers praise Goldberg for being able to do basic stuff. Goldberg picks Bigelow up for what we would call an FU. He then applies probably the worst cross armbreaker you’ll ever see. The fans chant ECW and Bigelow gets to the floor and hits Goldberg low a bunch of times. Bigelow works on the knee and goes back inside for more knee work. Now he works on the arm and hooks a chinlock. This isn’t exactly what I expected for a Goldberg match.

Goldie fights out of it and hits a belly to back suplex. Bigelow slams him down and hits the top rope headbutt for two. Moonsault misses and Goldberg loads up the spear. HUGE reaction for that but Bigelow moves. I mean literally, the fans rose up to see it. The second attempt hits and he sets for the Jackhammer but stops. He superkicks Bigelow instead and spears him again. NOW the Jackhammer gets the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah the match was bad but this single handedly brought the crowd back to life. Just to further prove how stupid WCW was, they had decided that this guy getting these kind of reactions wasn’t worth it because they needed to take the title off Nash and have him hand it back to Hogan. The idiocy of this company continues to astound me. The match mostly sucked.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

No video intro or anything, because who would ever want to watch a WCW show years after the fact? Hogan comes out to the Wolfpac music too, putting the total at five matches out of nine having Wolfpac members in them. Hogan is champion. Flair got a long beatdown on Nitro before this that ran like 10 minutes or so. Hogan runs him over to start and does it again. Oh I really don’t like where this is going.

Flair gets in a hard chop as we get the backstory two minutes into the match. Flair was president of the company and made Hogan defend here, then the NWO destroyed David Flair (remember that) so Ric put himself into the match to get revenge and maybe the title. Hogan clotheslines him down for two. He chops at Flair in the corner but Flair comes back with some of his own.

The knee drop hits Hogan, complete with the camera cutting away so that Flair knee dropping the mat is missed. Hogan takes him down again as Flair can’t get anything going. Flair Flip sends him out to the floor. Out to the floor and Flair blades before Hogan hits him with the chair. Hogan wins the slugout (duh) and this is becoming very one sided. Then again that’s how most Flair matches start.

A suplex on the floor keeps Flair down and they go back inside. Flair gets all fired up, basically Hulking Up so Hogan punches him down with ease and whips him with the weightlifting belt. Flair goes for the leg to take Hulk down but Hogan whips him with the belt from his back. This is ridiculously one sided. Flair pokes him in the eye and kicks him low (remember that Flair is the good guy here). He whips Hogan with the belt and Hogan ACTUALLY SELLS IT!!! I’m as shocked as you are.

Hogan is bleeding a bit now too. The fans are looking at something else and here comes the mystery chick from some vignettes over the past few weeks. It’s Torrie Wilson who has been shown talking to an unseen cameraman who she’s been sleeping with apparently. She comes in and stays at ringside as Flair punches Hogan in the corner. Flair suplexes Hogan but Hogan does the power kickout and Flair lands on the referee.

Hogan drops an elbow on the referee and pounds on Flair. Big boot hits but the Legdrop misses. Here’s a masked man who draws David Flair chants. Now remember, David got beaten half to death by the NWO recently, so there would be NO REASON AT ALL for him to beat up Flair. The masked man gets in the ring, stuns Ric with a tazer and lets Hogan keep the title.

Rating: D-. So basically this was a Hogan squash for 8 minutes, then three minutes of Flair getting in some offense, then Hogan coming back and destroying Flair some more, then Torrie came out, then David (oh sorry, the masked man) came out and tazed Flair and Hogan wins. That’s your PPV main event people.

The masked man is the aforementioned cameraman and yep, it’s David Flair.

Overall Rating: D-. It’s another show that sums up WCW’s problems in one night: nonsensical twists (the explanation is that David turned on his dad for Torrie. His father is Ric Flair. Do you really think Ric couldn’t get him about 100 gorgeous women? Oh wait, HE DID THAT SOON AFTER THIS SHOW) bad booking picks (yeah let’s give Scott Hall a title) and the NWO winning all of their matches and holding all of the important singles titles. Also, no face won a major match tonight. Bad BAD show and a good example of why WCW was falling further and further into a black hole.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request. If I had known the other one was three weeks after this I’d have swapped the order. Anyway we’re on the Road to Wrestlemania here so expect a lot of HHH dominating the show. I would assume this show was requested because it has the Rockers’ reunion on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Highlight Reel. Jericho is on a ladder with a briefcase above him due to the debut of MITB at Mania. Jericho talks about how everyone wants to climb the ladder of success but he’s actually going to do it and will win MITB. His guest tonight has nothing to do with the ladder match though: it’s Randy Orton. He talks about how he’s facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania and how Undertaker is a Hall of Famer. Orton wants to be in the Hall of Fame as well and to do that, he needs to end the Streak. He rattles off some of his career highlights and says he’ll surprise Undertaker on Smackdown.

Jericho says that speaking of surprises, he’s got a surprise guest. Now Jericho has never faced Undertaker at a Wrestlemania, but his guest has. The guest is from Georgia, and it’s Jake Roberts, or rather a huge beer belly with a Jake Roberts attached. We get a LOUD Jake the Snake chant and Roberts, sounding like he smoked about 5 cartons of Marlboros a day, talks about Orton’s heritage. However, he doesn’t know much about Randy. Jake says it’s all about timing and talks about Orton not being champion anymore.

He’s rambling here. Jake is here to do a favor to Cowboy Bob. Roberts says to stop running your mouth. Orton says that facing Undertaker isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about leaving with your soul, which Jake should know something about. Orton says Jake knows about losing, and Orton will make more impact in one win than Jake did in his entire career. Jake goes for the snake but clotheslines Orton instead. Jake loads up the DDT but takes an RKO instead. Jericho was just kind of standing around in the background for this segment.

Kane vs. Christian/Tomko

This is due to last week’s match where Kane beat Christian but Tomko ran him over with a ladder post match. Kane goes after Tomko immediately but Christian jumps him. The team has to tag and the Canadian starts things off. Kane throws him around but it’s off to Tomko who has better luck. Back to Christian as we hear about the Pick Your Poison matches with Batista picking HHH’s opponent (Benoit) and vice versa (not yet picked). A reverse DDT puts Kane down and it’s back to Tomko. Kane sends a cheating Christian into the post and the Canadian walks out. Sidewalk slam, top rope clothesline, chokeslam and we’re done.

Rating: D. This was pretty pointless. Christian has now lost twice heading into Mania, but he has a chance at winning the world title shot still? The match was nothing as Kane was never in any danger whatsoever. I don’t get why so many people want Tomko to come back as Christian’s bodyguard. There’s not much to him.

Post match Christian tries to hit Kane with a ladder but gets glared down. Tomko takes the ladder shot.

Flair talks Snitsky into being Batista’s opponent tonight. Flair says an injury to Batista wouldn’t be Snitsky’s fault. HHH gets Benoit and Batista gets Snitsky? That’s not quite a balanced set.

Lita gives Christy a pep talk and has some guest trainers for her: Regal and Tajiri. They’re the tag team champions and this is the best they can do. Tajiri won’t do it without Christy signing his copy of her Playboy. Tajiri demonstrates some kicks and Christy tries them. Regal gets kicked in the balls. I’m looking and I see no point to this at all.

Shawn is in the back when Marty Jannetty of all people comes up. Marty is facing Angle on Smackdown and Shawn thinks Marty needs a match tonight. Tonight, the Rockers are back against La Resistance.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is IC Champion but this is non-title. Edge jumps Shelton during his entrance and throws him into the stage wall. Edge is pretty freshly heel here so he’s venting his frustrations or something like that. Down to ringside and Shelton is thrown into the steps and barricade. They finally get in the ring but Edge pounds on him even more. The referee checks on Shelton and we finally start the match.

Edge immediately knocks him to the floor and Benjamin is in big trouble. We take a break and come back with Edge holding a chinlock and bodyscissors. Shelton tries to fight back but Edge drops him again. Edge tries to load up a superplex but Shelton knocks him off and hits a top rope clothesline for two. They both hit forearms to put both guys down. Shelton goes off on him and makes his comeback.

Clothesline sets up a backdrop which sets up a Stinger Splash attempt, but Edge ducks. Shelton is like screw crashing and lands on the top rope. He comes off with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in a powerslam for two for the Canadian. Spear misses and the Dragon Whip takes out the referee. Impaler and Exploder Suplex are countered and Edge hits the spear but there’s no referee. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, but Jericho runs out and hits Edge with it. Exploder gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as Shelton continued to be completely awesome at this point. Edge was about to become the big time heel that he’s known as, mainly due to the huge Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle feud that would dominate the summer for him. Good match here though as you would expect from these guys.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

This is the Conway/Grenier version. Jannetty and Grenier get us going and after some arm drags by Marty, the EVIL Frenchmen take over. There’s the tag to Shawn and we get some signature Rockers stuff, although Marty can’t do the nip up anymore. Double dives to the floor take La Resistance out but Conway low bridges Shawn to give the heels control. Conway suplexes him for two and it’s back to Grenier. Marty tries to come in and La Resistance hits a Hart Attack of all things for two. Shawn comes back with his forearm and it’s hot tag to Marty. He cleans house and hits the Rocker Dropper on Conway for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t meant to be. This was about having fun and some nostalgia and in that regard, it worked. On top of that, it wasn’t a half bad tag match. Having Marty get the pin was a nice touch because there was nothing for Shawn to gain here. The idea was to have Marty get a warmup for Angle on Smackdown and that worked well here. Good stuff.

Flair tells HHH he’ll make people forget about him tapping out last week when he beats Benoit tonight. HHH gets to pick Batista’s opponent next week.

Maria asks Trish about Lita training Christy for Wrestlemania. Trish isn’t worried and goes off on Maria for it. She says she’ll get Hannibal Lecter to train her because she’s going to eat Christy alive (BIG pop for that). Maria says the Twist of Fate Christy gave Trish was powerful, so Trish massacres Maria.

Flair is with Snitsky again now and gives him a pep talk. Batista pops up and Flair yells at him, so Batista says he’s taking HHH’s title.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

They go to the mat to start and Benoit pulls him off the ropes to slam the Game into the mat. Off to a headlock followed by chops by Benoit. Benoit tries two quick Crossface attempts but HHH gets to the floor. Flair gets the referee’s attention so HHH can throw a right hand (why would that require a distraction?) which doesn’t work either. Benoit fires off more chops and they go to the floor, with HHH going into the barricade.

Now it’s Benoit going into the barricade and we take a break. Back with a slugout being won by Benoit’s chops, but he gets caught in a spinebuster for two. HHH takes over and puts him on the top rope and they slug it out up there as well. Benoit goes off with headbutts to knock HHH down but the Game crotches him. A superplex puts Benoit down for two and HHH is getting frustrated.

HHH loads up the Pedigree but Benoit counters into a slingshot. They slug it out again and once again Benoit wins with the chops. Here are the Rolling Germans and then a second set of them. Swan Dive gets a very close two. Benoit hits his third series of Rolling Germans, getting the total up to eight. Now he pounds away with right hands in the corner but HHH manages to Irish whip Benoit into the corner.

Both guys are down but HHH gets up first. Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter so HHH tries again but is countered into the Crossface. HHH rolls out of it like he did at Wrestlemania but this time it actually works. We get MORE German suplexes, bringing the total up to nine I believe. Pedigree attempt #4 leads to counter #4, this time into the Sharpshooter. Flair tries to cheat and gets ejected but the distraction allows HHH to hit Benoit low and Pedigree him for the pin.

Rating: B+. Again, you give talented guys time and you’ll get a good match. These two destroyed each other with those Germans being very awesome. Great match and both guys got in some good stuff. The idea of HHH constantly being outwrestled and countered and having to resort to cheating to win was a great story too. Very fun match.

Hassan and Daivari come out and whine about not being on Wrestlemania. This isn’t over apparently. They weren’t on Mania anyway.

Lita says she’ll teach Christy how to beat Trish. Lita runs into Snitsky who says evil things.

Batista vs. Gene Snitsky

HHH and Flair come out to ringside for this. They stare each other down for awhile and then Batista takes over with the power. He looks down at HHH though and charges into a big boot in the corner. Snitsky goes after the knee and rams it into the post a few times. Back inside Snitsky works on the knee even more and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two. Batista comes back with a spinebuster and loads up the Batista Bomb but Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Boring match even before we got to the lame ending. Flair became downright annoying in this period as he did nothing but praise HHH and interfere in matches related to HHH. Nothing good here but what were you expecting from a Snitsky match? The just just wasn’t that good.

Flair, HHH and Snitsky all get chairs but Kane makes the save. Batista and Kane clear the ring and HHH names Kane as Big Dave’s opponent next week.

Overall Rating: B+. Not much to complain about here other than a somewhat weak main event. It really should have been Benoit vs. HHH to end the show. Anyway, good mix of wrestling, backstage stuff and nostalgia thrown in as well. It doesn’t quite make me want to watch Mania, but by this point I think most people would have already made their decisions. Good show.

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