Spring Break In Sellersville
Date: March 7, 2020
Location: Forrest Lodge VFW, Sellersville, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Billy Avery, Doc Diamondfire

This is from Star Pro and seems to be another combination of former Chikara and indy wrestlers. These shows can be fun, but it depends on how much they lean into the goofy. The former Chikara wrestlers have some completely insane gimmicks, but you never know what you might be getting. Let’s get to it.

As usual, I have no idea on any characters or plot points coming in so please bear with me if I miss something.

Our unnamed and tuxedoed host welcomes us to the show, though I can barely understand anything he is saying.

Fenix Fury vs. Icarus

Oh yeah it’s a former Chikara crowd alright. Feeling out process to start until Icarus takes him into the corner and comes out with a belly to back suplex. We hit the seated abdominal stretch, followed by a belly to back suplex to drop Fury again. The neck crank goes on for a bit before Icarus chokes away in the corner. Fury finally gets back up for some flying forearms and a tornado DDT gets two. Back up and Icarus ducks a right hand, setting up a quick Wings Of Icarus (Pedigree) for the pin at 7:23.

Rating: C. Nice stuff here, though Fury doing some more high flying might have been a better idea. Icarus is someone who has been around this area for a very long time and it makes sense to start with someone the fans are going to know. I haven’t seen much of Icarus as a heel, but he was certainly getting on the fans’ nerves here. Maybe not the best choice for an opener, but a good enough match.

South Philly’s Finest vs. Shinobi Shadow Squad

That would be Jimmy Konway/Luca Brazzi vs. Eli Isom/Ryan Nova, the latter of whom were regulars in the last few years of Ring Of Honor. Before the match, the Finest want to know why Nova is missing part of his pants. Brazzi takes Nova into the corner to start and it’s an early standoff. Nova takes Brazzi down but lets him go and chills on the top rope. That doesn’t work for Brazzi, who slaps him in the back of the head, causing Nova to…throw a ninja star? Eh it brought Edge and Christian together.

Since that didn’t work (I’m as shocked as you are), it’s off to Isom, who gets elbowed in the face and has his nipples twisted in the corner (yep). Nova is dragged in as well and send into Isom in the corner to put them both down. Another shoulder to the ribs puts Nova on the floor but Isom is back up with a dropkick to send Brazzi outside. Isom chokes Brazzi a bit so Nova can get in a suplex as I’m not sure who the fans are supposed to be behind here.

The chinlock goes on, with Isom even stomping his feet on the mat for…well ok it doesn’t add anything. Other than maybe some percussion. Brazzi fights up and tries to dive over for the tag but gets caught in a release northern lights suplex. Some headbutts to the ribs aren’t enough to get Brazzi over to the ropes and a dive through Isom’s legs is cut off as well. Brazzi FINALLY kicks Isom away….but Nova pulls Konway to the floor. That leaves Isom to hit a release German suplex for a rather arrogant two as the beating continues.

The arrogance wakes Brazzi up enough (make your own Rick Martel jokes) for him to get over to gag in Konway, meaning house can be cleaned. Isom breaks up Sliced Garlic Bread (awesome) but Brazzi punches both of them in the face over and over. A wheelbarrow faceplant with a Stomp gets two on Brazzi with Konway making the save. Konway is sent outside, leaving Brazzi tho hit Sliced Garlic Bread to finish Nova at 13:45.

Rating: B-. This was your straight formula tag match and once I figured out that the Squad were the villains, the match got a lot better. I wouldn’t have bet on the two of them being effective heels but they managed to make it work well enough here. The Finest have been around for a few years but I haven’t seen them before, which is kind of a surprise as they’re not bad.

Isom has to carry Nova out.

Star Pro has a dojo. Well of course they do.

Frightmare vs. Dan Champion

Frightmare is a bit supernatural and Champion is a rather muscular guy. The much smaller Frightmare’s running clotheslines have no effect so Frightmare goes to the eyes to stagger Champion. A running shot knocks Champion to the floor and Frightmare follows him out with some sauntering in between each shot. Back in and Champion cuts off a crossbody, setting up a rather delayed suplex (that’s what you get for sauntering).

The running corner clotheslines work a bit better for Champion, at least until Frightmare kicks him in the shoulder. For some reason Frightmare tries a suplex, even though Champion has about eight inches and a hundred pounds on him. Frightmare goes after the knee to take Champion down and there’s the standing moonsault for two.

A running boot in the corner rocks Champion again and his knee gives out on a whip from corner to corner. The Kneecalepsy (moonsault knees) misses for Frightmare though and Champion low bridges him to the floor. Back in and a heck of a TKO gets two on Frightmare, leaving Champion a bit stunned. Some more kicks to the leg put him down and now Kneecalepsy can finish for Frightmare at 9:20.

Rating: C. Another completely watchable match here, though the smaller Frightmare as the villain was a little odd. Granted that is because Champion is bigger than Drew McIntyre, which makes for some limited options. Frightmare was one of the top heels in Chikara, but it doesn’t work as well without the complete insanity that the company could offer. Champion is an ok big man, but I’m not sure I can imagine him going much further.

Veda Scott vs. Logan Easton LaRoux

LaRoux is a rather obnoxious (and rather rich) heel who I’ve seen good things from before. He is from “a gated community inside a gated community surrounded by a gated community” and is billed as the Champion of the 1% in case you need a better idea. Feeling out process to start, with LaRoux working on the finger for some small joint manipulation.

Scott sends him to the floor, only to have LaRoux snap the throat across the rope. Back in and some arm cranking on the ropes ensues, setting up the chinlock. Scott fights up and kicks him in the head a few times, setting up a bulldog for two. Back up and LaRoux hits a spear for two, followed by Scott hitting one of her own for the same. LaRoux misses a charge into the corner and it’s a fisherman’s suplex to give Scott the pin at 7:03.

Rating: C-. This was one of those intergender matches where you could tell that things weren’t going at top speed and it hurt things a bit. The good thing is that Scott is talented enough to make something like this work. I haven’t seen her in the ring in a bit and I had forgotten how good she can be when she is out there. LaRoux is someone I could go with seeing more of as well, but he might need to change things up a bit in a world where MJF exists.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Billy Avery vs. Jixx vs. Joe Clyde vs. Markus Skyler

Jixx, with his painted face, is defending and it is one fall to a finish. Avery left the commentary booth for the match and appears to weigh about 130lbs. Skyler has a large bag with him and seems to be popular. Clyde on the other hand looks like Trevor Murdoch if you deflated him a bit. Before the bell, Jixx, who seems to be about Rey Mysterio’s height, grabs the mic and insults Sellersville. He then turns around and has all three challengers waiting on him with a triple dropkick.

That’s enough to send Jixx to the floor, with Clyde joining him for…uh, a beer. Avery takes Skyler down but it’s Clyde coming back in to tackle Avery up against the ropes. Jixx is back in with a dropkick to Clyde and it’s a moonsault onto all three challengers on the floor at once. Back in and Jixx gets two on Skyler before they both head back in. That leaves Clyde to suplex Avery for two, followed by a DDT for the same. They switch off again, leaving Jixx to rake Skyler’s eyes and choke in the corner.

A running shot in said corner gets two and Jixx is frustrated, at least partially due to losing his face paint. Clyde comes back in to take Jixx down for a change, meaning it’s time to go up for the required Tower Of Doom. It’s Avery up first and getting to clean house, including a chop off with Jixx. Avery knocks Jixx down but gets F5’d by Clyde, who is taken down by a Canadian Destroyer from Jixx. Skyler is back up as well though and it’s a bridging northern lights suplex to pin Jixx for the title at 11:48.

Rating: B-. It was a fun match with some good high flying, but it’s also the kind of match that you have seen done a hundred times. Skyler stood out a bit here, while Avery is just WAY too small to take seriously and Clyde feels like he should be a heavyweight. Jixx felt like the latest in a long line of spooky/supernatural characters and seeing him lose was kind of nice as a result.

Razerhawk/Green Ant/Wheeler Yuta vs. Young Dumb N Broke

That would be Ellis Taylor/Griffin McCoy/Jordan Oliver with manager Charlie Tiger. Ant sends Taylor running to the floor to start before grabbing a full nelson back inside. A springboard armdrag takes Ant down but it’s quickly off to the technical stuff. That doesn’t go well for Taylor, so we’ll try McCoy vs. Yuta instead. The technical off goes to Yuta again (shocking I know) before they do a weird mirroring sequence.

Yuta rolls him up for two so it’s off to Razerhawk vs. Oliver to complete the trilogy. Razerhawk takes him down by the arm and cranks on the wrist so it can be back to Yuta. Tiger offers a quick distraction though, allowing the villains to collectively drop Yuta and take over. McCoy stomps on the mat and in the corner and it’s Oliver coming back in with a front facelock. Yuta can’t slip through Oliver’s legs but he can catch Oliver’s kick…only to get poked in the eye.

Taylor and McCoy start taking turns on Yuta’s arm, causing Razerhawk and Ant to have to be held back. The chinlock goes on but Yuta fights up and FINALLY dives over to Ant for the hot tag. House is cleaned rather quickly, at least until Taylor knees him in the face. Everything breaks down and Razerhawk hits a missile dropkick on McCoy. A splash off of Yuta’s shoulders gets two and Yuta Angle Slams Oliver for a bonus.

The villains fight up and clear Ant out, leaving McCoy and Yuta to slut it out. Taylor is back in with a kick to Yuta and a brainbuster onto the knee puts him down. Ant grabs a Samoan driver on Taylor but gets Tombstoned by Oliver. Back in and Razerhawk hits a backslide slam for two on Oliver. McCoy gets pulled into Yuta’s Sharpshooter, which draws in Tiger. That’s broken up as well and it’s a running Meltzer Driver (minus the springboard) for the pin on Yuta at 18:01.

Rating: C+. This got some time to make the match work a bit better, but it was a bit much to watch that long of a sequence without anything resembling a tag. I know it’s the style and expected and all that jazz, but couldn’t you at least pay it some lip service? Oliver will be getting better at his size, though the other five are all so small that it is difficult to get that invested.

Ophidian vs. Danny Duggan

During the entrances, Duggan says he hopes the ring announcers gets the Coronavirus so he never has to see him again. Duggan, who looks like an Anderson, bails to the ropes to start but powers Ophidian into the corner. Ophidian misses a spinning kick to the face but is fine enough to take it to the mat for the required arm control exchange. Back up and Duggan grabs a headlock before chopping him into the corner. Duggan grabs him by the throat but Ophidian tries a sleeper of his own.

That isn’t working so some spinwheel kicks rock Duggan instead. The middle rope broke somewhere in there so Duggan is easily sent outside. As Duggan staggers a bit on the floor, Ophidian grabs a chair and has a seat, which doesn’t sit well with Duggan. Back in and Duggan chokes on what is left of the middle rope before slapping on the chinlock. Ophidian fights up and gets a sunset flip, meaning Duggan’s trunks come most of the way down.

Some kicks rock Duggan again but thankfully he gets a clothesline in and fixes the gear. Duggan grabs a spinebuster (again, Anderson) for two and now his arm (which was bandaged coming in) is busted open. A suplex into the corner (which is broken as well) FINALLY finished Ophidian at 13:29, even though the referee didn’t seem to get the count right.

Rating: C-. The fact that the ring literally broke kind of holds this back but it wasn’t a great match in the first place. You can only get so far when things are this limited, though I kept getting bored by the match anyway. Maybe they could do better under the proper circumstances, but dang this wasn’t a great main event.

Post match Duggan thanks the fans for coming out, even if his native Canada is that much better.

Ophidian says something I can’t understand to really wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. As you can clearly see, this show feels like the end of the movie The Producers. After nearly doing everything they hoped for, the main stars’ plan falls apart and they lose everything. That doesn’t stop them from trying the same thing again, at least on a smaller budget. That’s what I was feeling here, as this came off like the latest example of trying to put together a Chikara style show without the Chikara presentation. In other words, you’re left with a pretty ok show that I feel like I’ve seen a half dozen times now, often with a similar lineup. Check it out if that’s your thing, but you’re better off finding Chikara.

 

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War Of The Felines
Date: October 13, 2018
Location: Forrest Lodge, Sellersville, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tim Taylor, Brad Demayo

This is Excellence Professional Wrestling and for reasons I don’t think I want to know, its shows have cat themes. I’m not sure what that is going to mean here but you never know what you are going to find in the indies. I know some of the names on this show and that might not be a bad thing, as this feels VERY Chikara style. Let’s get to it.

A woman is at her desk when a masked man comes in and brings Felina (said woman) her lunch and the posters for upcoming events. She says she knows his secret but she’ll keep it as long as he plays nice with her cats. Ok then.

Chat D’Kroger/Cornelius Crummels vs. Too Many Cooks

I think D’Kroger was the masked man from the opening segment and Too Many Cooks are Sloppy Joe and Assistant Chef Smoothie Blackmon (there’s an indy name for you). The Cooks have very oversized spatulas and the fans seem REALLY happy with them. Granted it might be their snappy theme song, which says Too Many Cooks over and over. Joe mocks Crummels with the spatula before the bell as the referee tries to get two in and two out. Crummels takes his jacket off and apparently smells rather horribly.

Blackmon and Crummels start things off and fight over wrist control, with Crummels handing it off to D’Kroger. That doesn’t go well for D’Kroger, as he gets taken into the corner so Joe can take him into the corner as commentary talks about their love of gumbo. The Cooks double team D’Kroger down so Joe can roll over him (the Rolling Pin, which is rolling but not a pin) but Crummels throws his horrible jacket at Joe’s face.

With Joe panicking over the germs and smell, Crummels gets to come in and stomp away. D’Kroger grabs an armbar before it’s time for some stomping/choking in the corner. Crummels adds a running elbow as commentary tries to figure out if D’Kroger is a wrestler named Buck Gunderson. A leg lariat gives Crummels two but Joe fights up and it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Blackmon so house can get cleaned….which lasts for about two seconds as D’Kroger rakes his chest. Everything breaks down and a Hart Attack finishes D’Kroger at 9:35.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t great but the Cooks were a lot of fun and that is why you put them in the opener. They are an entertaining team with a unique gimmick and the fans liked them. Putting them out there in the opener against some heels is a great way to go and this worked well. Not a great match, but a good start to the show.

Hold on though as here is someone named Blaxstrom to help jump Joe. Cat #2 and Johnny Moran run in for the save and here is Felina to make the six man tag.

Chat D’Kroger/Cornelius Crummels/Blaxstrom vs. Cat #2/Johnny Moran/Assistant Chef Smoothie Blackmon

Cat #2 and Blaxstrom start things off as commentary talks about the cat-like things everyone does. Blaxstrom gets armdragged into an armbar as commentary remembers it is Spanish Heritage Month and starts speaking in stereotypical Spanglish. Moran and D’Kroger come in with the latter being shoved down in a heap. D’Kroger pulls up and then takes down his strap, setting up a lowing effort in a test of strength.

With that going nowhere, it’s off to Crummels vs. Blackmon, with the latter taking him down and hammering away. Crummels gets him into the corner so the villains can start the alternating stomps. Blackmon finally gets an elbow up in the corner but Blaxstrom clotheslines him right back down. That means the stomping can continue, with D’Kroger adding a headbutt for two as commentary dubs him the Nickelback of cats.

Blackmon finally rolls over and makes the hot tag off to Cat #2, who is cut off almost immediately with a jumping knee to the face. A release gordbuster gives D’Kroger two and it’s back to Crummels to slowly stomp Cat #2 down. D’Kroger comes in and….starts playing with Cat #2 like they’re both cats, leaving commentary confused until Crummels gets him out of there.

With that bizarre exchange out of the way, Blaxstrom comes in to work on Cat #2’s arm. That doesn’t last long as Crummels comes in and gets crossbodied down, allowing the double tag to Moran and Blaxstrom. Moran’s sunset flip is countered into a sliding knee to the face and it’s D’Kroger grabbing a crossface chickenwing. Cat #2 comes in to pull D’Kroger’s mask for the save and Moran hits a Widowmaker to finish D’Kroger at 14:20.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work as well as the opener as Blackmon wasn’t a factor, leaving the charisma down. Blackmon could have been dropped here and nothing would have changed, which doesn’t make for the most thrilling match. It also doesn’t help that the cat stuff is already starting to get a little old, as it is the running theme throughout the entire show. Not a terrible match, but it felt long and not that interesting.

Will Goonet vs. Icarus

Goonet is a hockey player and Icarus is a Chikara mainstay who runs around the ring a lot before getting inside. Icarus slingshots into the ring and the fans want him to do it one more time for no apparent reason, though he does it anyway. Goonet jumps him from behind before the bell (maybe because Icarus had to do a dozen things first) but Icarus comes back with a shot of his own for an early two.

That earns Icarus a trip into the corner and there’s a loud forearm to the chest. A suplex gives Goonet two, with commentary wondering why he even bothered to cover after a single suplex. There’s a kick to the back for the same, as commentary is talking about a wrestler named Danger Jameson.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Goonet takes him into the corner for some right hands. The referee actually breaks it up and the beating is on, complete with Icarus pulling Goonet’s jersey over his head to make it worse. A shot to the back of the head takes Icarus down again but he’s right back with a Russian legsweep. Icarus grabs a top wristlock as we hear about Barry Darsow for some reason. A legdrop gives Icarus two (Taylor: “That would have put him away in 84.”) but Goonet’s belly to back suplex gets the same. Goonet puts on a chinlock of his own but Icarus is right back up with Sliced Bread #2 for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C. Goonet was just a gimmick guy and that’s all he needed to be in a spot like this. At the same time, you have Icarus, who is probably going to be one of the more solid performers on this show. Sometimes you need a solid enough match like this one and this worked out fine, as Icarus shrugged off what Goonet threw at him and then won in the end, nice and clean.

Post match, commentary explains that Icarus gets a title shot if Danger Jameson wins a match later tonight. See how easy it is to explain something like that?

Frightmare vs. MC Hardbody

Hardbody seems rather popular with the fans, possibly because he doesn’t even weigh 150lbs. They pose at each other to start before going to the test of strength. You don’t do that with someone named Frightmare, who knocks him down to frustrate Hardbody a bit. This sends us to the required Toy Story discussion as Frightmare grabs an armbar, which is reversed into an armbar.

Hardbody grabs a chinlock, with commentary suggesting that him leaning on Frightmare won’t do much good. Frightmare fights up without much trouble but gets wristdragged into the corner, setting up a slingshot Stunner. A springboard….snapmare leaves Frightmare sitting down, where he covers his eyes. Hardbody sits in front of him for a shot to the face but a 619 is blocked. Instead Frightmare kicks him in the face to send us out to the floor, where Frightmare offers to let some young girls chop Hardbody.

That won’t be happening so they go back inside where Frightmare gets to stand on him n the corner. A slam gives Frightmare two and a standing moonsault is good for the same. Hardbody fights out of a headlock so Frightmare runs him over with a shoulder. There’s a release German suplex for two on Hardbody, with commentary criticizing the cover technique in their best Gorilla Monsoon impressions (minus the impressions).

Hardbody is back up with a kick to the face into the 619 to put Frightmare on the floor. The big dive connects and now some young fans will chop Frightmare in a funny bit. The camera operator gets in a chop before a boy hits Frightmare in the face. Back in again and Hardbody hits a missile dropkick for two but Frightmare plants him with a Pentagon Driver for the same.

The standing moonsault misses though and Hardbody scores with a Death Valley Driver for two more. A running basement DDT…is badly mistimed, as Hardbody doesn’t get his arm around the head so Frightmare kind of DDTs himself. Hardbody misses a Swanton though and it’s the Kneecolepsy (standing moonsault knees to the chest) to give Frightmare the pin at 12:08.

Rating: C. This one falls more into the entertaining but not exactly great category, as there is only so much you can get out of someone as small as Hardbody who isn’t flying all over the place. The stuff with the fans slapping Frightmare was fun, but that’s about the highlight of the match. It wasn’t awful, though I never got into it very well.

Green Ant and Johnny Moran interrupt a chat with Tim Taylor to say they’re not done with Blaxstrom and Hermit Crab.

Green Ant vs. Hermit Crab

Hold on though as there is no Hermit Crab to start so we’ll go with Green Ant instead….but he doesn’t come out either. Then both of them fight through the curtain and the bell rings so Ant can start in on Crab’s arm. A spinebuster gets Crab out of trouble as commentary tries to figure out what kind of a shirt he is wearing. Crab hits a suplex but misses a middle rope crab walk (just go with it) elbow.

Ant can’t quite grab an octopus stretch so he settles for a springboard spinning crossbody for two. A gutwrench powerbomb gets Crab out of trouble but he can’t get a Boston crab. The nerve hold goes on, with Crab not exactly appearing to put on too much pressure. That means it isn’t hard for Ant to get up and hit a superkick for two, only to have Crab come back with a teardrop suplex. Now the Boston crab can go on, though again Crab isn’t great at putting on a hold. Ant slips out and grabs the octopus for the tap at 5:58.

Rating: D+. The match was short (like the two of them) but the bigger problem here was they didn’t exactly seem to be laying it in. That nerve hold was embarrassing and for two guys who started fighting in the back, they didn’t seem like people who wanted to hurt each other. I wasn’t feeling this one and it was pretty disappointing.

Post match Ant keeps the hold on for a bit too long. After letting it go and being joined by Johnny Moran, Ant gets a mic and says it isn’t over between the two of them and Blaxstrom/Hermit Crab. They want a tag match next month.

We see Icarus training when someone in a helmet surprises him with a tap on the shoulder. The helmet guy asks Icarus to train him, but Icarus thinks that’s as good of an idea as running the Boston marathon with one leg. Icarus agrees to accompany him to the ring though, which has helmet guy rather pleased. Apparently Felina has granted helmet guy a title shot next month. Icarus: “WHAT THE F***???” I’m going to assume this is Danger Jameson in a segment that might have made more sense if we saw it earlier in the show.

We go to Icarus training Jameson, who seems to be a bit of a clueless putz. Icarus gives him a training regimen, involving listening to the Lion King soundtrack twice a day. Icarus wants to hear five of Jameson’s holds but isn’t sure what he picks. Two guys come in with their bags and tells Jameson to train hard because they have 61 days left. They leave, so Icarus asks Jameson who the man is. Jameson lists off a bunch of superheroes and Icarus facepalms. After a little help, Jameson gets the idea and they celebrate, with Jameson being knocked out.

Hallowicked (Excellence Champion) praises Blaxstrom for his match but isn’t pleased with Hermit Crab. Hallowicked and Blaxstrom leave so Crab consults a doll.

One note: there were no graphics or recaps or explanations for those segments and I had to figure out who some of the people were. That’s not a good idea as it can get confusing quickly if you are a first time viewer.

Excellence Title: Hallowicked vs. Danger Jameson

Hallowicked is defending and has Blaxstrom, Frightmare and Hermit Crab (apparently they’re part of some kind of a cult) with him. The four kneel in prayer but here is Felina to say Wicked’s Army will do anything to keep the title. Therefore, she is going to even the odds a bit by making this a No DQ match. That works for the Army, who quadruple team Jameson down in the corner until Hermit Crab runs to the back. He comes back to the ring with, I kid you not, Quadruple Strength Poison Powder (that’s what the label on the big jar says) so here is Icarus for the save.

House is cleaned in a hurry and the bell rings, only to have Jameson miss a top rope splash. Hallowicked slowly starts beating on him, setting up a Fujiwara armbar. With that let go, Hallowicked hits a fall away slam as the dominance is on. Jameson grabs a rollup for two but gets knocked down again, setting up a middle rope double stomp. A half crab makes it even worse for Jameson before Hallowicked switches to a chokebomb.

Icarus comes back in to Pedigree Hallowicked but Jameson’s top rope splash is broken up with some powder to the eyes. Instead Jameson hits a double arm DDT and some running splashes in the corner stagger Hallowicked again. A Russian legsweep puts Hallowicked down and the top rope splash finally connects, only to have Frightmare come in for the save. Icarus takes Frightmare to the back so Hallowicked throws more powder at James. A leg trap DDT retains Hallowicked’s title at 7:31.

Rating: C. This could have been worse as it was almost all smoke and mirrors since Jameson isn’t exactly supposed to be a polished star. The majority of the match was spent with Hallowicked and company beating up Jameson until Icarus came in and did a few things to even it up. Not good, but it was entertaining enough while it lasted.

Dan Champion and the Boar of Moldova are leaving when Cornelius Crummels come up. They congratulate Crummels on his match and offer him dinner out of a trashcan. Crummels turns them down and they all decide to go to Applebees. Again: Champion and the Boar, who are scheduled for the main event, are not identified here and the only reason I know them is from shows in other promotions. Also, why are they leaving if they haven’t wrestled yet?

Havoc/Oleg the Usurper vs. Boar of Moldova/Dan Champion

Tables, doors and boards match. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Boar running over Oleg and Champion chopping Havoc up against the wall. Champion can’t suplex Havoc through some chairs as the other two fight around the arena. Instead Havoc gets thrown through the chairs as Oleg is hog tying the Boar. Havoc keeps hammering away as Boar kicks Oleg away.

Champion gets kicked in the stomach as….something loud that we can’t see happen with the other two. Havoc and Champion get inside and set up a door in the corner as Oleg has tied up the Boar’s legs and is dragging him around the ring. As Havoc punches Champion with a fist wrapped in a belt, Oleg has been buried under a bunch of chairs. Boar gets back in to save Champion and slowly stomp on Havoc.

That’s broken up with a German suplex but it’s Champion coming back in to cut havoc off again. Oleg comes back in for the save but here is Cornelius Crummels to go after Oleg and Havoc. That doesn’t go well for Crummels, who gets kicked in the head and thrown outside, as Oleg has something in mind. A double chokeslam puts Crummels through a table and it’s time to go back to ringside for trashcan shots to Champion and Boar.

Oleg puts the trashcan over Boar’s head and adds a superkick, with Havoc smashing the can with the lid. Champion gets back up for the save and Boar is able to side slam Havoc through the trashcan. Havoc’s hands get tied up with a belt and Boar drops a top rope elbow on Oleg. Champion knocks Oleg outside and apparently we miss a door being thrown at Havoc back inside. That leaves Champion and Boar to powerbomb Oleg through a merch table, which is apparently an elimination, because apparently this is a tables/doors/boards ELIMINATION match. Who knew?

Havoc is back up with some trashcan shots but Boar kicks him low. Boar’s spear misses though and he drives himself through the table, meaning it’s Champion vs. Havoc. A Champion Breaker (Irish Curse) drops Havoc and they fight up the ramp with Havoc in trouble. Champion hits him in the head with a belt (the Life Championship, which he brought with him) but Havoc comes back with his own belt shots.

Havoc can’t slam him off the stage though as his back gives out. It’s fine enough for a backdrop though and another belt shot rocks Champion. An Island Driver off the stage puts Champion through a table at 26:19….but it’s a draw because they both went through a table at the same time.

Rating: D+. Oh they can screw right off with that ending. They went the better part of half an hour for a lame draw in a match with no explanation? I get that the teams hated each other but there was no explanation whatsoever for WHY they hated each other. Then you have that ending, which made the lack of a story that much worse. The ending made me mad and that is never the way to go.

The fans are not happy as the wrestlers are checked on/taken out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The show had some fun moments (Too Many Cooks were a blast) but this was one of the weaker shows I’ve seen in this series of indy events. Nothing on here was worth seeing, but the bigger problem was with the presentation. There was very little in the way of explaining what was going on, who these people were or why fans should care. It doesn’t help that this was a bunch of characters from Chikara, which isn’t the easiest thing to get into in the first place. Not exactly a good show and I was disappointed based on how promising some of this seemed on paper.

 

 

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Evolve #1
Date: January 16, 2010
Location: Rahway Events Center, Rahway, New Jersey
Attendance: 500
Commentators: Leonard F. Chikarason, Lenny Leonard

So a good chunk of the Evolve library has been put up on the Network and since the whole thing is being blown up for the sake of Peacock sooner than later, I figured I would take a look at one of their shows. This is the promotion’s debut event so there is not likely to be much in the way of storylines. Let’s get to it.

Kyle O’Reilly is warming up when Davey Richards gets annoyed at the cameras. They’re here to film everything for a documentary but Davey and manager Tony Kozina throw them out anyway. Davey Richards being really serious? Stunning indeed.

Akira Tozawa and Kota Ibushi have a chat that I can’t understand.

Opening sequence, mainly featuring clips from Full Impact Pro.

Various people talk about why they wrestle, with one of them saying he would be dead if he didn’t.

Kyle O’Reilly vs. Bobby Fish

O’Reilly has Tony Kozina with him. They trade kicks to the legs to start and then fight over the wrist, which the fans appreciate. Back up and Fish nails a dropkick and avoids a charge to send O’Reilly shoulder first into the rope. The big dive takes him down and it’s back inside for a t-bone suplex to send O’Reilly flying again. A top rope headbutt gives Fish two but O’Reilly knees his way to freedom. O’Reilly is back with the rolling butterfly suplexes for two of his own and it’s time to trade the hard kicks.

Fish kicks him down into a cross armbreaker, sending O’Reilly straight into the ropes. More big kicks rock O’Reilly but he counters one into a reverse fisherman’s suplex for two of his own. Fish hits a superkick but walks into a discus lariat for the double knockdown. O’Reilly is back up with a tornado DDT for no cover so Fish grabs a Falcon Arrow for his own two. Back up and O’Reilly hits another tornado DDT into a brainbuster for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: C+. This was a good way to start things off as it was all action and the kind of match that an audience like this would appreciate. If nothing else, it was bizarre to see these two looking so young but that’s the point of an opener like this. It was a hard hitting indy style match and that’s what it should have been in this spot.

Chuck Taylor vs. Cheech

No transition between the match and no entrances, which makes the show move a lot faster. Cheech was a regular on the independent scene around this time and Taylor would get more famous later on. This is an official qualifying match for the Evolve singles division. They start fast with Cheech hitting a shoulder but Taylor sidesteps a dropkick.

Cheech takes him down without much trouble and grabs something like a Sharpshooter where he sits down on the leg rather than pulling it back. That lets him get in some posing until Taylor makes the rope and comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A headscissors has Cheech in trouble and an overhead belly to belly sends him flying. Cheech is right back up with a moonsault press for two but Taylor hits a dropkick for the same.

The Awful Waffle is broken up and Cheech grabs some rollups for two each. Cheech superkicks him into the corner and hits a running kick to the face, followed by a 619 from the floor. Back in and Chuck hits his own kicks to the face, only to get caught with a spear. A running elbow in the corner drops Cheech for two and the Awful Waffle finishes Cheech at 6:29.

Rating: C-. It was energetic but this was every stereotype of an indy match you can find. They were doing everything they could all match with no selling and one spot after another. I know that’s the style that they want to have around here but it would be nice to see someone stop for a few seconds just to let something sink in for a change.

Post match Chuck is asked about his win and doesn’t like the idea of having to win a qualifying match. Vengeance is coming.

Ricochet vs. Arik Cannon

Cannon is an indy mainstay and RICOCHET HAS HAIR! LIKE SHOULDER LENGTH HAIR!!! Ricochet flips out of a wristlock to start so the bigger Cannon runs him over with a shoulder. A headscissors sends Cannon to the floor and Ricochet hits the cartwheel flip dive. Back in and Cannon nails a suplex into the corner but Ricochet takes him down for two off a quick rollup.

They trade strikes in the corner until Cannon drops him with a right hand into a brainbuster for two. Ricochet can’t hit a tornado DDT as Cannon reverses into a swinging brainbuster for another near fall. Back up and Ricochet kicks him in the face, setting up a 630 for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: C. Ricochet got to showcase himself a bit here but Cannon was dominating most of the match. That being said, Ricochet wasn’t exactly intimidating with the hair and not exactly filled out physique. Then again he was in his early 20s here and had a long way to go. Not a bad match, but they were flying through it so fast that it could only go so far.

Post match here’s Chuck Taylor to say that he’s from the south where they don’t believe in evolution. He’s into creationism so he’s here to create. The challenge is on, with Ricochet saying let’s do it now but Taylor walking off.

Silas Young is with Jimmy Jacobs and talks about what they want to do around here. Another wrestler (who might have been a very young Adam Cole) comes in to tell Jimmy that his match is coming up, which Jimmy does not seem to appreciate.

Brad Allen writes MOM on one set of wrist tape and MAC on the other, both with some crosses surrounding the names.

Dark City Fight Club vs. Aeroform

The Club is Jon Davis/Cory Chavis and were around the indies for years without ever making it to the big time. Aeroform is Louis Lyndon/Flip Kendrick, another team who would hang around for years. The smaller Aeroform starts fast and hits a double dropkick for two on Chavis. Back up and Chavis blasts Kendrick for two, setting up a modified Hart Attack (side kick instead of a clothesline, which Harlem Heat called the Big Apple Blast). Lyndon gets double teamed down as tags just seem to be a suggestion here.

Davis misses a charge in the corner and Lyndon gets over for the hot tag to Kendrick to clean house. Everything breaks down (Was it ever together in the first place?) and Lyndon has to avoid a brainbuster onto the apron. A springboard DDT Plants Davis and a 540 Spiral Tap gets two with Chavis making the save. Back up and Davis Pounces Kendrick, leaving Lyndon to take Project Mayhem (double hiptoss into a sitout powerbomb/neckbreaker combination) for the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it was just a mess with a bunch of flips vs. a bunch of power stuff. That isn’t quite thrilling stuff but it’s a basic formula that can work in most cases. I know tag team wrestling has basically devolved into two on two matches with tags just kind of being a detail but a little lip service to the idea that they still matter would be nice every now and then.

Mercedes Martinez vs. Niya

Mercedes is introduces as the WSU (Women Superstars Uncensored) World Champion but this seems to be non-title. Niya didn’t seem to wrestle very long and Martinez chops her into the corner to start. Some rolling suplexes set up a fisherman’s buster to finish Niya at 1:11. Yep Martinez is still awesome.

Post match, Martinez says she is here to fight men and women because she is here to evolve.

Brad Allen vs. Silas Young

Allen starts fast with a dropkick to knock Young into the ropes, setting up the big dive to the floor. Back in and Allen misses a high crossbody out of the corner and it’s time to chop it out. Allen gets the better of it and hits a springboard flip dive for two, followed by a gator roll to send Young outside. That means a DDT on the floor to drop Allen for a change, followed by a knee drop for two back inside.

A rolling elbow into a basement clothesline gives Young two more and frustration is setting in early. Allen uses the delay to grab a neckbreaker, followed by a slingshot Swanton for two more. Young gets flipped backwards onto the apron and then the floor, setting up a big moonsault from the top. That sounds good in theory, but Young dropkicking him out of the air made it a bit worse.

That’s good for a nineteen count and then two more for Young back inside. Young is even more frustrated and starts kicking Allen in the head. A hard clothesline gets two but Young misses a springboard moonsault, allowing Allen to hit a springboard spinning high crossbody for two of his own. Allen catches him in the corner and hits a swinging Downward Spiral for the pin at 10:23.

Rating: C+. I liked this a bit better as they had some more time and even sold a thing or two. This was a good deal slower than the previous matches and that’s a smart change after everything else has been so fast paced. It’s no classic or anything but Allen made a bit of an impression and you could see the potential in Young, even if he had to change a lot to become a star. Now why did Allen not have the writing on his wrist tape?

Post match, Allen says he has been fighting for this chance for his entire career and thanks Evolve for the chance. And his mom too. Allen goes to leave but comes back to say he wants Chris Hero at the next show.

Jimmy Jacobs vs. Ken Doane

That would be Kenny from the Spirit Squad. The much bigger Doane shoves him down with ease to start and unloads in the corner but Jacobs is right back up with some stomping of his own. A small package gives Jacobs two but his guillotine choke is broken up in a hurry. Doane ties him up in the ring skirt and hammers away for two back inside. Jacobs’ shoulder being up earns him another beating and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Doane trips him down again with a slingshot elbow getting two.

The chinlock goes on again and the fans think this is awesome. As I try to figure out if that is sarcasm, Jacobs breaks out and hits a quick clothesline. Doane’s slam and running forearm can’t keep Jacobs down so he whips Doane hard into the corner. Some stomps to the ribs get two but Doane is back up with a heck of a spinebuster for two.

A hanging DDT out of the corner gives Jacobs two but the Contra Code is countered into a bridging German suplex to give Doane two more. Doane’s guillotine legdrop (that always looked good) is enough for the pin at 10:07. Hold on though as Jacobs’ foot was on the ropes and TOMMY DREAMER (HOW IS HE ON EVERY SINGLE SHOW EVER???) comes down to point out the referee’s mistake. The match is restarted and Jacobs grabs the guillotine choke for the fast tap at 10:51.

Rating: C+. Doane is someone who was crippled by a horrible gimmick but he was completely watchable once he got away from the nonsense of the Spirit Squad. I’ve never been a Jacobs fan but he was doing a nice underdog deal here, which is more than I would have bet on. Nice match and that’s nice to see.

Post match Dreamer gets in the ring to say he’s back (When did he ever leave?). He walked away from something that he loved but he would never walk away from being in the wrestling ring. He thanks everyone for trying to live their dream and letting him live his. It was his dream to have a midcard match on an indy show restated? Get better dreams. Dreamer goes to leave but Jacobs says hang on a second (it has been a full thirty seconds since Dreamer got some praise).

Jacobs thanks Dreamer for promoting the show but won’t thank him for helping him win his first Evolve match, because Jacobs doesn’t need it. He is choosing to stand alone in Evolve and wants to know why Dreamer is here. Is it because he needs that one more minute in the spotlight? Jacobs wants that look off of Dreamer’s face because he has seen it for the last fifteen years. Dreamer takes his jacket off but Jacobs doesn’t need approval from a washed up has been. Dreamer is just here to have fun though and isn’t even being paid, so he jumps Jacobs. The fight is on with Dreamer getting the better of it because reasons.

Davey Richards is still warming up.

Ken Doane leaves the rest room with his bag over his shoulder and rants about how he is tired of being treated like this everywhere he goes. He storms off.

Chris Dickinson vs. Johnny Gargano

Gargano has long hair for a weird look and has only been wrestling for about five years. Dickinson takes him into the corner to start but Gargano is back with an enziguri into a running clothesline. An Ace Crusher gives Gargano two and it’s time to start trading cradles for two each.

Gargano gets something like the Rings of Saturn but it’s broken up for an exchange of strikes to the face. They’re both knocked to their knees with Gargano blocking a big kick to the ribs. Dickinson is right back with a Falcon Arrow for two and an elbow to the face gets two more. The knee pad comes down but Gargano catches him with a running DDT. There’s the Lawn Dart into a full nelson spun into a faceplant to finish Dickinson at 6:04.

Rating: C. This is one of the best parts about watching a show like this: seeing future stars as absolute nothings who are mainly there to fill in a spot on the card. Gargano looked a little odd with his longer hair but managed to keep his calm against the bigger and more athletic Dickinson. Good enough match here but another short one.

Post match some people show up to the VIP area and Gargano is rather pleased to see them. Again: NAME THESE PEOPLE.

TJP vs. Muneori Sawa

They trade some kicks to start with Sawa taking him to the mat for a quick trip to the rope for a break. A snap German suplex sends TJP flying but he’s right back with a rollup into a standoff and applause. Sawa can’t get the arm so he takes TJP into the corner for a kick to the chest. More rapid fire strikes connect but Sawa misses a running boot. Not that it matters as he takes TJP down by the leg and headbutts away at the knee, followed by an elbow to the ribs.

TJP is right back with a cross armbreaker, sending Sawa straight into the ropes for the break. Some kicks to the arm keep Sawa down but he’s back up for an exchange of strikes to the face. They slug it out from their knees until Sawa pulls him into a kneebar. The rope is grabbed so it’s a dragon screw legwhip, only to have TJP pull him into a cross armbreaker for the break. Back up and TJP’s leg is fine enough to fire off kicks, setting up another cross armbreaker. That’s reversed into a rollup for two and Sawa nails a Shining Wizard for two more. The Octopus goes on and TJP taps at 9:18.

Rating: B-. I’ve always liked TJP and that was the case again here. They were tearing it up with the submissions and holds, which made for a heck of a showcase. That’s the kind of thing you can always go with and it was great to see here. I don’t think I have ever seen Sawa before so it was cool to have someone fresh but still fun to watch. Good stuff here.

Adam Cole narrates his talk with Tommy Dreamer and promises people will remember him. So yeah the guy who looked like Adam Cole earlier was in fact Adam Cole.

Team Frightening vs. Akuma’s Army

That would be Frightmare/Hallowicked/Mike Quackenbush vs. Brodie Lee/Gran Akuma/Icarus and these guys are from Chikara. Mike takes Icarus down by the arm to start and that goes nowhere as commentary tries to explain the story here, which is as much of a downward spiral as you can get. Icarus slips out of an Octopus attempt and it’s quickly off to Hallowicked vs. Lee for an exchange of shoulders.

Hallowicked snaps off a running hurricanrana and brings Akuma back in, with Hallowicked taking him down with a spinning armdrag. It’s back to Icarus so Akuma gets in a cheap shot from the apron but a series of kicks from the ring and apron rock Akuma in a hurry. A victory roll gets two on Icarus and it’s back to Lee for a heck of a powerbomb. Frightmare gets knocked off the top and Lee pulls him back over the top for two.

Akuma comes back in and Frightmare uses him as a launchpad to hurricanrana Lee. The hot tag brings in Hallowicked, who charges into Lee’s swinging Boss Man Slam. The pace picks up and Akuma hits some double knees to the chest for two on Frightmare. Mike comes in for a super hurricanrana into a Swanton with Frightmare adding a standing moonsault for two on Akuma. Frightmare snaps off a tornado DDT to Lee and the Rydeen Bomb (Sky High) finishes Icarus at 11:34.

Rating: C+. This was another fast paced and entertaining match, though egads trying to figure out what the backstories in a Chikara match is harder than something that is very complicated. It was a nice addition on the show from an energy perspective but the costumes and characters do feel completely out of left field here. Pretty high energy match though and that’s all you can ask for out of a showcase.

The documentary filmmaker consoles TJP but then runs away when she realizes she is on camera.

Davey Richards vs. Kota Ibushi

Kyle O’Reilly, Tony Kozina and Michael Nakazawa are here. They waste no time in going with the hard strikes to the face with Ibushi knocking Richards out to the floor. Back in and Ibushi strikes away in the corner until they head to the apron where Richards snaps him down onto the apron. Richards starts in on the arm with a hammerlock suplex into a flipping over hammerlock.

There’s a stomp to the arm, followed by a modified Tequila Sunrise. Richards goes up top but Ibushi is right up there, only to get taken down by a flying armbar. Ibushi fights up with forearms to the face, with Richards seeming to enjoy them as usual. More cranking to the arm ensues and they both go to the apron. A fight over a superplex to the floor is broken up with Ibushi knocking him outside. That means the big moonsault can connect, followed by more rapid fire strikes into a standing moonsault for two.

Richards shrugs them off and hits his own missile dropkick, followed by the handspring kick to the head for two more. A cross armbreaker is broken up in a hurry but Ibushi flips out of a superplex attempt. The rapid fire kicks just wake Ibushi up more and it’s the double moonsault for two. Ibushi goes up but Richards catches him with the release German superplex. Running kicks in the corner rock Ibushi again and a big kick to the face gets two.

Ibushi rolls out of a kimura and snaps off the poisonrana, only to get blasted with a running clothesline. More strikes set up another running clothesline and the DR Driver gets two on Ibushi. They head up top for the exchange of headbutts and Ibushi knocks him down. The Phoenix splash misses and Richards knocks him down for a shooting star press. The Kimura makes Ibushi tap at 18:13.

Rating: B. It was very hard hitting and a very strong style match, but my goodness I had forgotten how annoying Richards could be. The ultra serious and hard hitting/striking stuff gets old fast and it did here again. There is something that seems so ridiculous about being hit in the face and just screaming at someone but that is almost all Richards would do. Good match for the style they were wanting, but I wouldn’t be complaining that this was Richards’ only Evolve match for about three years because of his new deal with ROH.

Brad Allen talks about how he signed with WWE and his mom was killed in a car wreck the next day. Egads that’s rough.

Johnny Gargano, Jimmy Jacobs and the VIP people from earlier try to get Silas Young to go out on the town with them. Young agrees, but gets a phone call as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is the definition of a promotion where if you like it you’ll like it and if you don’t like it you won’t. That might sound really simplified, but there is not going to be much of a middle ground on this stuff. It was a VERY similar style throughout with a good chunk of the roster using a bunch of kicks to the chest/head and submission holds. You know what you are getting here and if you like that style then you will enjoy it, but if that is not your thing, this is not likely to change your mind. The show is far from bad and nothing is overly terrible, but it very well might not be your style.