The winner literally beats the entire division.We’ve been saying AJ loses the title in the big finale to Total Divas for months now, but for once I think it doesn’t happen.  Instead I see AJ hanging onto the title so Paige can win the title on Raw.  The Total Divas would rather yell at each other over their latest drama and the title has only been mentioned occasionally.  AJ winning and issuing an open challenge on Raw is a great way to go, but this is going to be completely insane no matter what happens so why bother trying to talk about the match itself?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just .99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under at:

Smackdown
Date: November 15, 2013
Location: Phones4u Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re still over in England for the final TV show of the tour. Things are finally starting to shape up for Survivor Series and not a moment too soon. We’re nine days from the PPV and there are only three matches announced so far. Raw hinted at a traditional Survivor Series match between Shield and perhaps Bray Wyatt vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Usos which could be entertaining if not a bit lopsided. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw and the big twelve man brawl.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos

As the Family is on on the way to the ring, Cole announces the Family vs. Punk/Bryan for Survivor Series which should be a good rub for the monsters. Jey charges at Rowan to stat but takes a knee to the ribs. Off to Harper who charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Jimmy for a running forearm in the corner. Jey makes a blind tag and Jimmy superkicks Harper to stagger him back. Harper shrugs it off and punches Jimmy in the mouth to take over.

Rowan comes in for a neck crank as JBL and Cole talk about Rowan wearing the mask so “he can be anybody he wants to be.” Jimmy escapes a belly to back suplex and tags out, only to walk into something resembling a high collar suplex for two. Jey avoids a seated senton and hits a low dropkick, only to be launched upside down into the corner. We take a break and come back with Harper Gator Rolling Jey into a chinlock.

Back to Rowan for a backbreaker as the announcers debate if the Wyatts are related. Rowan tries a clothesline but walks into a quick enziguri to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Jimmy who scores with some clotheslines to Harper and a running forearm in the corner. A top rope clothesline sets up a Samoan drop and Harper is in trouble. He explodes out of the corner to clothesline Jey down but Jimmy makes the save. A double superkick gets two on Harper and Jimmy dives over the top to take out Rowan. Jey loads up a dive of his own but walks into the discus lariat from Harper for the pin at 7:53 shown of 11:23.

Rating: B-. I really liked this as it was your basic power vs. speed match but well done. The Usos are rapidly becoming the Kofi Kingstons of the tag division. You can have them lose as many times as you want but their matches and gimmick are solid enough that they never lose their heat. The Wyatts looked good as well with Rowan being fine in the generic monster roll.

Post match the Wyatts circle the Usos for the beatdown and the monsters are just too much. Bray comes in as well and destroys Jimmy, shouting that no one judges him. He says at Survivor Series, they’ll show the world how to leave a scar and teach their victims to never forget tragedy.

We go back to Raw where Heyman ranted about how stupid Ryback was and blamed him for the beating at HIAC.

Axel and Ryback are in the back with the monster saying he has no intention of being in a team with a Paul Heyman guy. If Axel is still sucking up to Heyman, not only is he teaming up with Axel but he also has a big problem with him. Axel says he isn’t a Heyman guy anymore but tonight he needs Ryback.

R-Truth practices his rapping when the Prime Time Players come in to rap with him and practice the Millions of Dollars dance. Ok then.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

Tamina cost Natalya her Divas Title match on Main Event to set this up. Natalya charges her into the corner to start but walks into a boot in the corner. A powerslam puts Tamina down but AJ gets on the apron for a distraction. Tamina runs into her boss though and the Sharpshooter gets the submission for Natalya at 1:20.

We look at Orton being chokeslammed through the table on Raw.

The GM’s are in the back with Brad playing Exposition Man to recap the events from Monday. Vickie tries to explain the power structure which is made even more confusing when their authority is all secondary to the Authority.

Prime Time Players/R-Truth vs. Union Jacks

The Jacks are 3MB and described by JBL as Austin Powers crossed with the Mean Street Posse. Titus and Mahal get things going as Cole calls Jinder a “Jack-ette”. Titus throws Mahal around but Drew makes a blind tag and kicks O’Neal down. Back to Mahal with a jumping knee to the face for two before it’s off to Slater for some forearms to the back. We hit the chinlock until Titus fights up and runs Slater over, allowing for the hot tag to Truth. Cole: “Truth getting jiggy with it!” Everything breaks down and Little Jimmy gets the pin on Slater at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Apparently this was a rematch from Main Event where the Band won. Not that it matters much but at least we had a reason for the match to exist. This was another match where the fans got to have some fun with the rapping and dancing and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Post match the winners dance in Union Jack flags.

Time for some arm wrestling! Alberto has challenged Cena to one of the all time stupid contests which has gone the same way every time in wrestling history. Cena agrees to the challenge and says let’s do it while turning his hat around backwards. A guy in a Superman outfit approves so we’re ready to go. Cena, with the good right arm, wins in about half a second. Del Rio wants a rematch and loses just as fast. Alberto punches Cena while the hands are still locked and puts Cena through the table. What a waste of time this was.

Funkadactyls vs. Bella Twins

Cameron elbows Nikki down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam (surprising pop for that) for two. Cameron gets up two feet in the corner and gets two off a middle rope cross body. Off to Naomi who pounds on Nikki until she tags out to Brie. Not that it matters much as the Rear View is enough pin pin Brie at 2:34. I’m almost positive that Chimmel called the winners the “Funky Jiggles.” I went back and listened to it twice and it was definitely two words. Might have been a rib of some kind.

Daniel Bryan and CM Punk are with Renee Young in the back and answer every question with YES. Bryan refers to the team as the Beard and the Best which Punk says Bray will hate. Punk says they’re going through the Family at Survivor Series then cutting off the snake’s head.

Great Khali vs. Hunico/Camacho

Hunico still has a job??? Camacho gets clotheslined down to start and there’s the loud chop in the corner. Hunico comes in as well and gets destroyed with ease before the Punjabi Plunge ends Hunico at 1:15. Complete squash.

The Raw ReBound recaps the opening segment with Orton going through the table.

Daniel Bryan/CM Punk vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Axel and Punk get us going and Cole sums up Axel’s title reign in a single statement: “Axel’s victory over Dolph Ziggler on Raw was a career changer.” The Intercontinental Champion’s career was defined by beating a jobber to the stars clean in a meaningless, non-title match on Raw. Let that sink in for a minute and it sums up the state of the midcard and a lot of WWE as a whole.

Axel grabs a headlock to get things going but gets sent into the ropes for a hard knee to the ribs. Off to Bryan who cranks on the arm but Ryback gets the tag and takes Bryan into the corner. Bryan catches him with a drop toehold into the middle buckle and the good guys double dropkick Ryback down for less than a one count. A slam puts Punk back down though and it’s off to Curtis for a two count.

We hit the chinlock until Punk suplexes his way out and hits the running knee in the corner. Ryback pulls Axel to the floor before Punk can launch a Macho Elbow. Instead the good guys hit stereo suicide dives/FLYING GOATS to take them both down. We take a break and come back with Axel charging into Punk’s boot in the corner. Ryback comes in again with a delayed vertical suplex and a legdrop for two. Back to Axel who gets caught in a small package for two but cranks on an armbar before the hot tag can go through.

Punk is dragged back to the heel corner and pounded down but he comes out with the swinging neckbreaker, allowing for the hot tag off to Bryan. Things speed up with Ryback being taken down by the running clothesline. Bryan goes after Ryback’s leg and fires off the kicks to the chest. The big kick to the head gets two as Axel saves, only to be taken down to the floor by Punk. There’s the YES Lock on Ryback and we lose the lights. We’ll say that ends the match at 9:40 shown of 13:10.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending was pretty obvious given that Smackdown is just a blue version of Raw anymore. Axel continues to be decent in the ring but there’s no way to buy him as a threat to anyone given how many times Punk beat him. Ryback would be fine if he was allowed to be himself and win some matches for a change. Punk/Bryan vs. the Wyatts should be good, but Punk and Bryan don’t have as much chemistry as you would expect.

The lights come back on but Bryan and Punk are nowhere to be seen. The Wyatts look around but it’s just an out cold Ryback and Axel left in the ring with the monsters. Ryback gets up and shoves Axel into Harper, earning the Intercontinental Champion a beatdown. Even when he doesn’t job he gets beaten down. Ryback gets back up and tries to save his partner but two power guys are better than one, leading to another beatdown. With Bray stomping on the former Heyman guys, Punk and Bryan sneak out from under the ring and gets in some cheap shots before running to the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t great but it was far less painful than some of the stuff we had to sit through on Monday. That being said, we still barely have anything new for the PPV as the tag match had been announced earlier in the week. As usual, the show wasn’t necessary viewing but it isn’t the worst use of two hours. At least we didn’t have to waste a bunch of time on recaps this time, which is a major step up from Raw.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jimmy

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Sharpshooter

Prime Time Players/R-Truth b. Union Jacks – Little Jimmy to Slater

Funkadactyls b. Bella Twins – Rear View to Brie

Great Khali b. Hunico/Camacho – Punjabi Plunge to Hunico

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel went to a no contest when the Wyatt Family interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Odds are most of you haven’t seen every episode of Total Divas.  If they make the Total Divas the faces in this, here’s what they’re going to have to overcome from the “reality” show.Nataya – The most insecure, whiny person of all time.  Every episode so far has seen her complain about something, ranging from not getting on Wrestlemania to having to babysit the new girls to her love life.  Some of it is indeed justified, but GET OVER IT already.  For someone who was raised to be in the business and is clearly the best in ring worker from the show, she has a lot of things to whine about.

Trinity/Naomi – She’s the second best in the ring and one of the more likeable girls on the show, but at the end of the day she’s a cheerleader and little more.  At the end of the day though she’s loud and a bit annoying without enough personality to really stand out.  She’d be ok to push on her own and that’s about as good as I can say about her.

That more or less ends the good stuff to say about the cast.

Jojo – Uh…..she exists.  Seriously, she has no personality because she has no screen time on the show.  She seems nice but there’s nothing to her.

Eva Marie – The epitome of what’s wrong with the Divas’ division: she’s annoying, she can’t do a thing in the ring and she’s loud, meaning she’s being pushed.  The first few episodes focused on her bucking authority and lying to get to the top of the division.  She looks good and the red hair helps a lot, but we’ve seen her as a lying manipulative witch who got engaged and then was flirting with Fandango to get a spot on the main roster later that night.  Quite a hero.

Bella Twins – Yeah they’re different on the show but on Raw they might as well be the same person.  These two are EVIL on the show but the worst part about them is they seem very materialistic.  For instance, we spent a full episode with the Bellas going to Cena’s Tampa mansion and then Daniel Bryan’s childhood home in Washington.  While Cena’s place could have been a stand-in for Wayne Manor, Bryan lived in a modest house.  By modest, I mean a house that almost any sane person would be fine spending forty years of their lives in.  Brie Bella’s recommendation: TEAR IT TO THE GROUND because it’s not big enough.  You know, because everyone should be able to afford a multi-million dollar mansion with its own water slide.  Brie is also the person moving to Arizona to spend more time with her dog.

Ariane/Cameron – This is the one that drives me the craziest.  She’s loud, self-obsessed, cares about her looks more than anything else, whines about EVERYTHING, and talks like a stupid 15 year old girl.  For instance she wanted to get breast implants and spent the entire episode referring to them as her *cue stereotypical California valley girl accent* bewwwwwwwwwwwwwbies.  Basically she’s Laycool but FAR less charming.

These are the people that we might have to cheer against AJ.  For the love of all things good and holy, please let that be the case.  It would be GLORIOUS.

If you can, make sure to catch the replay of this.  It’s one of the funniest shows I’ve seen in years and is far more of a train wreck than the previews made it out to be.  Find a copy of it and kick back for an hour because it’s the funniest thing a wrestling fan has seen in a long time.

NXT
Date: April 10, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Brad Maddox

Things have changed a bit down in NXT now as Conor O’Brian has been vanquished by Big E. Langston, leaving us without a number one contender. On top of that we’ve still got Bo Dallas feuding with the Wyatt Family and Summer Rae feuding with Paige. Also if I remember correctly tonight is Regal vs. Ohno in the culmination of along simmering feud. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Ohno vs. Regal, which is based on Regal training Ohno and Ohno wanting to have a bigger legacy than Regal. It’s the classic teacher vs. student story and it still works to this day. Both guys have attacked the other at the announcers’ desk in the past two weeks.

Percy Watson/Axl Keegan/Scott Dawson vs. Shield

That’s quite an opener. Shield clears the ring before the bell and head to the floor to keep beating up their prey. We actually get a bell as Reigns is pounding on Dawson in the ring. Ambrose and Rollins both come in to beat on for dropkicks and it’s Dean stomping away on Dawson. Scott finally slides away to bring in Keegan, who is immediately put in a surfboard by Ambrose with Rollins dropping a top rope knee onto Axl’s chest. Reigns clears out the corner and Seth hits a standing Sliced Bread for the pin on Keegan at 2:17. Complete and total squash.

Dawson gets hit with the TripleBomb post match.

Shield talks about how awesome they are when Corey Graves pops up on screen. He says he doesn’t believe in the Shield because NXT is his own personal wasteland. Next week, he want any one of them one on one. Rollins says next week Ambrose and Reigns can take the night off because he’ll fight Graves on his own.

Summer Rae says she ran away last week because she left her curling iron on and didn’t want to burn the building down. If she hadn’t run back there, it would have been Paige’s career burning down instead of the building.

Emma says she’s like Lady Gaga and stops talking. She changes it to Madonna and the interviewer isn’t sure what to think. The fans think Emma is a klutz but Emma thinks those crazy kids with their Macarena are confused. She trips as she leaves.

Bellas vs. Funkadactyls

During the entrances we get one of the problems with NXT being taped: this is described as a Wrestlemania rematch because of what happened there. This is a problem because the match that it’s a rematch of didn’t happen at Wrestlemania due to time constraints. Naomi and Brie start things off with Naomi being sent into the corner. She comes out with a standing Stinkface and the Rear View, showing off the extent of her offensive skills.

Off to Cameron for a double legdrop but Nikki breaks up the cover. The Bellas choke away on Cameron in the corner and it’s off to a chinlock by Nikki. Cameron fights up and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both girls down. The hot tag brings in Naomi but the Bellas immediately take her down. The twins both wrap up one of Naomi’s legs like they’re setting up a Sharpshooter and roll her forward into a mat slam for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D. Once again, the main roster shows why they have no business being in NXT. The match was nothing of note and the ending was very weak with Naomi getting the hot tag and being pinned fifteen seconds later. The NXT girls are so far ahead of these models who know how to do a few moves that it’s unreal.

Kassius Ohno is in the back in a William Regal REAL MAN’S MAN shirt, making him far more awesome than he ever has been before. Ohno talks about how he’s watched everything there is to watch about Regal, but after tonight, no one is going to hear Regal’s voice again.

In two weeks it’s a Night of Champions with four title matches.

We look at Wrestlemania week.

Regal is ready for Ohno.

Next week it’s Graves vs. Rollins in a lumberjack match.

Kassius Ohno vs. William Regal

They lock up to start with Regal shoving Ohno back. Brad’s stupid joke of the week is to call Dawson Jerry every few moments. Back to the lockup until Regal takes over with an armbar. Ohno is taken to the mat by the arm as Regal cranks away even more. Now it’s a hammerlock and after a drop toehold Ohno still can’t get back up. Regal lets him back up and Ohno grabs a wristlock, only to be easily sent into the corner and stomped down by the old villain.

A forearm puts Ohno down as this has been one sided so far. Ohno finally gets in a shot to the ribs to send Regal to the floor. A baseball slide puts Regal into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kassius getting two off something we didn’t see and firing off some HARD kicks in the corner to Regal’s head. Now it’s a full nelson to stay on the neck and upper body of Regal. William uses a nice counter to escape and stomps on Kassius’ fingers for good measure. He bends them back around the ropes as momentum changes again.

Regal stays on the arm and hand and drives some knees into Ohno’s face. Ohno comes back with a hard kick to the head to take Regal down as the ear is hurt even more. Another kick crushes Regal’s head against the post but Ohno can’t hook his cravate hold. Kassius kicks Regal again for two but he still can’t hook the Kassius Clutch. Off to a quick chinlock instead but Regal rolls out and hits a quick exploder suplex. His balance is WAY off though so he can’t hook the Regal Stretch.

A belly to back suplex puts Regal on his head again for two more and Kassius is getting frustrated. William is getting all fired up and gets to his feet, only to have his head kicked off for two. Ohno loads up the rolling elbow but Regal nails him in the ribs to set up the Knee Trembler for the pin at 14:06 shown of 17:36.

Rating: B+. This was a match based on emotion and the injury to Regal which worked very well. The story of teacher vs. student is one that always works and it did the job again here. The good thing here is that Regal didn’t look dominant at all at the end, which keeps Ohno from looking weak. Really good and physical match here with a solid story throughout.

Overall Rating: B. Another solid show here as NXT does what it does best: make any feud feel like the biggest thing going on in the promotion at the time. Regal vs. Ohno was a well built feud with a classic story and the resulting match worked out very well. What more can you really ask for than that? Good show here and more compelling TV with a match set up for next week.

Results

Shield b. Axl Keegan/Scott Dawson/Percy Watson – Standing Sliced Bread to Keegan

The Bellas b. The Funkadactyls – Rolling mat slam to Naomi

William Regal b. Kassius Ohno – Knee Trembler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

I wouldn’t be surprised to see this get bumped to the pre-show as well.This is the big return of the Bellas in what is supposed to be part of the resurgence of the Divas division by giving the Funkadactyls a rub.  The problem with that theory is that no one is going to care about any Diva if they’re treated like schmucks like Kaitlyn.  As for the male counterparts…..eh.  Tons of Funk are a glorified comedy team with the dancing stuff but the kids like them a lot in the same vein of Rikishi and Too Cool back in the day.  The Scholars on the other hand are back together and still losing almost every time they’re out there.  I’m hoping the team is done for good after this so we can get them doing something worthwhile.  Given that the tag division reboot is dead, having them as singles guys is the only thing left for them.

As for the match, I think it goes to the dancing team, presumably with Naomi getting the win.  It’s clear that WWE sees them as the next big thing in the Divas division.  She got a spot in a PPV title match late last year and was showcased in the tag match on Monday.  She’s much better in the ring than Cameron, but Cameron is better in the looks department which tends to be the bigger deal anymore.  This isn’t going to be much of a match and it might get eight minutes at most.  I’d bet on the dancers to win though, if nothing else for the big dance party post match.