Impact Wrestling
Date: May 15, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Another week has passed and the main story is, say it with me, a heel authority figure corrupted by power. Last week MVP turned heel and announced himself as the #1 contender to the World Title. Other than that we’ve got Bully Ray heading to Texas to go after Dixie Carter. Why he would wait a week to do so is beyond me but maybe they’ll show us footage from the previous week. Let’s get to it.

Eric Young is waiting for MVP to arrive but security pulls him away from the boss’ limo.

Video on MVP turning on Young last week.

Here’s Young (minus the belt) in the arena to open things up. Eric rants about how he thought MVP was something different that’s why he fought so hard for him. Anything would have been better than Dixie Carter but this isn’t good at all. Eric says if MVP wants a fight he can come out here right now. MVP pops up on screen and says he did this for the money and the power. He’s going to do Eric a favor though: Young can keep the title until Slammiversary when MVP takes it away.

Dixie is in Nashville driving around with Spud. They go to her house and see a bunch of tables spray painted with Dixie Fears Bully.

Recap of Bram trying to make Magnus into his old self by sending him after Willow.

Willow is ready for revenge but wants it in his realm.

Bram/Magnus vs. Willow

They start in the dark rafters but are down on the floor in about ten seconds. Tagging is required here and it’s Bram whipping Willow into the corner to start. Bram hammers Willow in the corner and brings in Magnus for some stomping of his own. Back to Bram but he gets reversed into the corner for forearms and the slingshot dropkick. Willow decks Magnus off the apron but can’t hit the Twist. Magnus trips Willow up, allowing Bram to suplex him down. Back to Magnus with Bram sliding in a metal object. Magnus won’t go insane like Bram wants though, allowing Willow to small package Magnus for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D+. This was more storytelling than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Bram wanting Magnus to be all violent and evil again is a good idea for Magnus as his time on the top just didn’t work for the most part. He’s boring as a proper Englishman and all that jazz, so have him be evil instead and get something interesting going instead. Bram looked good.

Young trashes MVP’s office.

Bully Ray calls Dixie and tells her and Spud to come inside.

Gail Kim comes to the ring and says she’s not here to wear an evening gown or to get a makeover. She calls out the Beautiful People and gets what she wants. Angelina says the Beautiful People are what everyone should aspire to be. Velvet jumps Gail from behind and it’s time for a match.

Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim

Gail is in trouble to start but jumps over Velvet in the corner to get a breather. She hits the running cross body in the corner but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Angelina gets in a few shots and throws Gail back inside for a DDT and two. Gail comes back with Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D. It’s the same story with the same ideas and the same people we’ve seen doing this FOREVER now and I don’t care anymore. I’m assuming Gail gets a title shot at Slammiversary, but who cares if she wins? What difference does it make as they’ve all been champion like a million times anyway. Match was nothing.

Gail gets laid out post match.

Ethan Carter brags about injuring Kurt Angle last week and says this is his world now.

Crazy Steve vs. Kazarian

Steve is the Menagerie’s clown. Kaz sends him to the floor to start as we have carnival music and weird lighting. Kaz trips over Steve on the floor as the Freak stares him down. Steve low bridges Kaz to the floor as we’re in full on comedy match mode. The balloons are brought in and Steve breaks them with a top rope splash. Now he’s running around with a horn as Freak poses on the apron. Rebel is in the ring as well, hanging upside down on the ropes. The referee gets pantsed and it’s thrown out at 2:34 with Kaz winning by DQ.

The Menagerie doesn’t seem to mind losing.

Aries tries to get into MVP’s office but security stops him. MVP comes out and gets some cheap shots but Young shows up to jump the boss as we take a break. Back with the two still fighting and MVP in control. He tries to hang Eric with his tie but the champion fights back as they head to the ramp. Young seems to be favoring his arm so MVP hammers away on it back in the ring. Security comes down to break it up but MVP gets in more shots on the arm, including a flying armbar. MVP makes the title match tonight with him getting the title shot.

Spud tries to sneak up on Ray in Dixie’s house but the cameraman gives him away. Spud is captured but Ray tells the camera guys to stay there.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm

The opening bell is after a break and the brawl is already on the floor. Anderson takes him into the barricade but Anderson’s hand is slammed into the steps to give Storm control. Back inside with Storm working over the arm but getting caught in the swinging neckbreaker. Storm tries to run from the Mic Check, allowing him to hit a quick low blow for two, as the referee catches Storm’s feet on the ropes. A running DDT gets two on Anderson and it’s beer bottle time. The referee takes the bottle away but Storm spits in Anderson’s face, setting up the Last Call for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. These matches are starting to get repetitive. The arm work went nowhere here and the match was only ok if you stretch a lot. It’s nice to see Storm FINALLY get a win though. That’s his first singles win on TV in over a year. That simply should not happen to a former World Champion.

Samuel Shaw is in an institution and can only say Christy.

Video on Sanada training and what the X Title means to him.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

DJZ is coming in with bad ribs. Sanada is defending and he teams up with Tigre to take Ion down to start. Tigre tries a quick rollup for two on the champ. There’s a bunch of confetti in the ring from Sanada’s entrance and it’s all over everyone’s back. Sanada misses a standing moonsault on Tigre but snaps up with a dropkick to the back. DJZ comes back in but gets caught in a rolling cradle for two for the champ.

Tigre stays on the floor for a bit as DJZ nails some forearms to Sanada in the corner. Sanada comes back with some chops as Tigre is still on the floor. Tigre finally comes back in with a dropkick to both guys, followed by a spinning Asai Moonsault to the floor. He throws DJZ back inside but Ion breaks up a moonsault. Sanada springboards back in with a chop to DJZ’s head and hits a tiger suplex for the pin to retain at 5:33.

Rating: C. Sanada is still good but these guys are pretty much the entire division right now. It’s the same problem the division has had for years now: you can find one guy that does well for awhile but the division is dead save for the month before Destination X. Nothing much to see here but it wasn’t bad.

Ray calls Dixie from Spud’s phone and tells her she’s all alone.

Gunner comes to see Samuel Shaw in the institution because Shaw needs someone to talk to.

We recap Ethan injuring Angle’s knee last week.

Dixie goes into her house and finds Spud tied up. Bully shuts the door and asks Dixie if she ever though it would come to this. He’s doing it because of what she did at Sacrifice and wants to know if she believes he’s afraid of her. Ray asks if she wants this to end. She does of course but he wants her to say she fears him. She’s about to say it when Ethan jumps Ray from behind. Dixie says she fears no one.

We recap Roode and MVP brawling last week, leading to MVP suspending Roode from Impact for the foreseeable future.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. MVP

Young attacks before the bell but is sent bad arm first into the steps. MVP works it over even more as the match hasn’t actually started yet. Back from a break with the opening bell and MVP staying on the bad arm. Eric fights up and hits some of his usual stuff before loading up the top rope elbow, only to have Kenny King of all people come down and shove Eric off the top for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D. I don’t have a rating in me for this one. Most of it was just arm work anyway.

MVP tells the referee to restart the match or he’s fired. The referee won’t do it so King decks him. King and MVP beat up Eric until Bobby Lashley comes out for the save….before joining up with them to destroy Young. Eric is slammed through some chairs by Lashley and taunted with the belt. The new heel faction stands tall to end the show. Taz: “This is bad Mike.” Preach it brother.

Overall Rating: D. TNA is entering it’s summer lull and they’re diving in head first. There was some watchable stuff tonight but the stories are just killing everything else. As I’ve complained about probably a dozen times before, it feels like we’ve seen every bit of this before. The Beautiful People are dominant and calling people ugly, the heel authority figure(s) are receiving far more TV time than anyone else, and the title picture is about the plucky champion fighting to keep the main evil authority figure from gaining ultimate power.

It’s the same stuff this company has run with for YEARS now and it’s just not working here. We’re coming up on one of the biggest shows of the year and looking at Eric Young vs. MVP for the World Title. I could picture that being a midcard title match, but TNA doesn’t have time for a midcard title. Maybe if Dixie didn’t have to have five segments a show we could, but Heaven forbid she’s not one of the focal points of the show. The more I think about it the more it seems like they want her to turn face, which would be about the dumbest thing they could do. In other words, look for face Dixie to send her guy in to face MVP at BFG.

Results
Willow b. Bram/Willow – Small package to Magnus
Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky – Eat Defeat
Kazarian b. Crazy Steve via DQ when Menagerie interfered
Sanada b. DJZ and Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex to DJZ
Eric Young b. MVP via DQ when Kenny King interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

We’ll head back to Canada for someone a bit better looking than Jacques Rougeau: Gail Kim.

Gail signed with WWE in 2002 and debuted in a battle royal on June 30, 2003. There was actually dome hype for her debut with vignettes reminiscent of the Matrix.

Womens’ Title: Battle Royal

Jazz, Jacqueline, Trish Stratus, Victoria, Gail Kim, Molly Holly, Ivory

Jazz is defending but injured coming in, hence the need for the odd method of defending the title. She’s still able to slam Ivory down but gets kicked in the head by Victoria. This is one of those matches where you can barely call anything because it’s such a big mess. Ivory is quickly thrown out and Jazz lays down because of her injuries. Molly and Jackie are the only ones left on their feet as Jazz is walked out of the ring, apparently eliminated.

Victoria dumps Molly and Jackie and we’re down to Trish, Victoria and Kim. Trish kicks both girls down but Victoria catapults Gail into Trish for the elimination. They go back and forth for a few seconds until Gail counteres a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for the elimination and the title.

Rating: D. The match sucked, just like you would expect a seven Diva battle royal that lasted four and a half minutes to, though the girls looked good in their outfits. You can’t as for a better debut for someone than this and the match quality rarely mattered for the Divas anyway. The fans didn’t mind Gail and that’s not bad for the girls.

Gail would lose the title in a month to Molly Holly, only to join up with her almost immediately thereafter. Molly and Gail would form an alliance over their jealous of Trish and Lita’s popularity, leading to a tag team match at Unforgiven 2003.

MollyHolly/GailKimvs. TrishStratus/Lita

This feud is more or less about Molly and Gail being jealous of Lita and Trish being insanely popular. Standard stuff to put it mildly. Molly is Women’s Champion here and is actually looking good. Lita was out for almost a year because of a broken neck and now wears khaki shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. The non-famous girls jump them early and that doesn’t work at all.

This is Lita’s return match. Oh seriously who do you expect to win this? You have two girls that are about as middle of the road as possible and the first two women to main event Raw. Lita and Gail are the actual starters and Lita nips up as we hear about King having a vasectomy. Molly hooks a Dragon Sleeper on Trish which works about as well as you would expect it to. Gail is gorgeous. That’s all there is to it.

Now Gail does a Dragon Sleeper. Trish walks up the turnbuckles and backflips into a reverse DDT. FREAKING SWEET. Molly looks good as a brunette and in blue. Trish manages to beat up both girls on her own since Lita is bleeding from the mouth. Lita gets the mostly warm but partly cloudy with a 30% chance of showers tag. Trish knocks Gail to the floor and Lita hits the moonsault to get the win which was about as predictable as you could expect.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect here. Lita was indeed a huge deal as she and Trish were just flat out awesome around this point but the injury took her out for over a year. This was nothing more than a welcome home match and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: announce that Lita is still awesome.

Gail would get injured a month or so later before returning in spring of 2004 and being placed in a fourway Womens’ Title match at Bad Blood 2004.

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

All four are too hot for words with Trish somehow possibly being the fourth best looking at the moment. Victoria is champion here. Trish vs. Lita never gets old especially when later this year they main evented Raw. That’s saying a lot and I don’t mean it was the last match and then there was a big angle to end the show.

I mean Trish vs. Lita for the title was the last thing you saw to end the show and it was built up all night. It was a very cool moment and I completely bought into it. Gail gets an AWESOME hold on Victoria. More or less it’s a headscissors combined with a crossface combined with an armbar but cooler than it sounds. Lita and Victoria botch something and we have no Trish for a long time, signaling that she’ll be winning. Yep there she is to roll up Lita for the title out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. They all looked hot and that’s about all there is to talk about here. Other than that it was just your run of the mill Divas match but with four girls that could actually work which is the best case scenario. Gail being back helps and the girls are actually becoming more than eye candy around this point.

Naturally since the division was starting to take off, it was time for Gail to be released. After a year on the indy scene, she debuted in TNA as the new valet for America’s Most Wanted. Her singles PPV debut was at Hard Justice 2006 against Sirelda.

Sirelda vs. Gail Kim

Gail is looking great tonight. She jumps Sirelda to start but gets powered into a corner and slammed ala Ultimate Warrior. Sirelda loads up a chokeslam but Kim easily escapes. She guillotines Sirelda on the top rope and a knee drop gets two. The fourway tag is officially announced as canceled. There’s a Tarantula from Gail but her high cross body misses. A bad looking World’s Strongest Slam gets two and Sirelda loads up a superplex. Gail knocks her back and hits a bad Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really bad but Gail looked smoking out there so I’ll give it some points for that. Sirelda wasn’t around long and given how awful she was in this match I’m not really surprised by that. Nothing to see here and I think this ended the mini feud between these two. If it didn’t then it should have.

Gail spent a few months out of the ring as a valet before facing Jackie Moore in a cage match at Lockdown 2007.

Jackie Moore vs. Gail Kim

Gail does look good in those little sky blue shorts. They start fighting on the ramp and Jackie takes over, sending Gail on top of the announce table. Gail gets water poured on her and they haven’t been in the cage yet even though the bell rang. Ok now they’re inside (with a nice view of Gail on the way in) and the fans do not seem to care. Gail goes to escape about 20 seconds after they’re in but Jackie continues to be annoying by making this continue.

Jackie takes over and I always wonder why she had a job. Either way, the American hits a German on the Canadian but Gail pops up anyway. They exchange worthless attempts to go up and Gail gets a sunset flip for one. I think Gail gets sent into the cage but it really wasn’t clear. Gail goes up and hits a dropkick and both of them are down. Kim gets up and goes for the door, resulting in a brawl on the apron with the door open. Gail slams it on Jackie’s face but stays in. Gail goes up and jumps off with a cross body (hitting Jackie square in the face. At least she couldn’t make Jackie any uglier) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was rather bad and not just because I can’t stand Jackie Moore. The cage slamming onto Jackie’s head did make me smile but anytime someone beats her up it’s a good thing. The cross body was bad looking, because that could have been a bad injury to either of them. Still though, bad match.

The Knockouts Division was starting to take off and it was clear that a title needed to be established. Since a regular tournament is too basic in a Vince Russo company, we got a gauntlet match for the title at Bound For Glory 2007.

Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match

This is a ten girl match where you have a regular gauntlet but it’s over the top until we get to the final two. Yep we’re having two battle royals. Kong debuted at Impact so she’s brand new here. We start with Ms. Brooks and Jackie. Good night WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS STAY AROUND? No one cares about her at all and she was always there. Quit shaking your freaking chest because NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEM.

Brooks gets a big boot to the side of the head of the annoying one but gets caught in a German suplex. Shelly Martinez is in third. Oh…these girls can’t do much. Kong comes in fourth and it’s on. Kong takes like 40 seconds to get to the ring out of a minute.

ODB comes in fifth as Jackie puts out Brooks but Kong just goes off, getting rid of Jackie (GO KONG!) and Martinez. Angelina Love (Angel Williams at this point) has the music, the looks and the stage pose already as she’s 6th. Christy comes in and is still amazing looking Kong beats the tar out of her with a rack where Christy’s feet almost hit her head. A Batista Bomb hits as Gail Kim is eighth.

Everyone gangs up on Kong as the medics take out Christy to eliminate her for the most part. The three in the ring get rid of Kong whose shirt flies up as Talia Madison (Velvet Skye) is ninth. Roxxi who is a voodoo chick with hair at this point is last. Love apparently went out off camera so we have four left: Roxxi, ODB, Gail and Velvet.

Gail puts out Velvet as we get a GREAT back shot of her. ODB is out also and we have our one on one match. Gail gets an insane looking submission hold on Roxxi which was like a sideways Octopus Hold. Gail looks sexy in those shorts to put it mildly. They really make her figure look good. Roxxi botches a jackknife pin for two. Gail hits Finlay’s Celtic Cross to end it and win the title.

Rating: C-. Again, is there a reason to mix things up like they did here that I’m just not getting? Why not have an actual tournament rather than this weird hybrid thing? It wasn’t bad I guess but at the same time this just didn’t work like they wanted it to. This could have been a lot better as a simple one on one match but this just didn’t do it for me like they wanted it to. Not horrible though.

Speaking of Russo, we’ll take a look at Sacrifice 2008 and another of his ideas. It’s a battle royal, but the final two remaining get to have a ladder match. The winner of the ladder match gets a Knockouts Title shot but the loser gets her head shaved. For no reason given, Gail Kim can’t have her head shaved so if she makes the ladder match, it’s the last person out of the battle royal’s head getting shaved. Again, this is why people complain about Russo booking.

Knockouts Battle Royal

Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, Rhaka Khan, Salinas, Christy Hemme, ODB, Roxxi Laveaux, Jacqueline, Traci Brooke, Gail Kim

For absolutely no apparent reason, Gail cannot have her head shaved so if she makes the ladder match, the last person eliminated from the battle royal has her head shaved instead. I’ll give Vince Russo 10 bucks to explain his own stories. Roxxi puts Salinas out (not over the top) less than 30 seconds in. Velvet does some fighting from the apron and yeah it’s only there to have a nice shot from behind her. She’s out a few seconds later.

Traci is gone and the fans chant for ODB. Khan puts Christy out. They’re going out so fast that you can’t really keep track of who is still in there. Jackie and ODB double team Khan and Love joins them to get rid of the tall one. Jackie and ODB go out within seconds of each other and Angelina is out at the hands of Roxxi to put us down to Roxxi and Gail.

Gail Kim vs. Roxxi Laveaux

This is a ladder match and if Roxxi wins, Angelina’s head is shaved. This is officially the same match so I’ll rate it all together. The fans all cheer for Roxxi because Angelina isn’t a nice person. Gail sets up the ladder and goes up quickly but Roxxi makes the save. I see no point whatsoever to this being a ladder match but it’s TNA so what difference does it really make?

Gail puts the ladder in the corner for no apparent reason. She gets taken down and Angelina throws in a ladder of her own. Gail does look good in those TINY shorts. She powerbombs Roxxi off the ladder and might be busted a bit. Angelina interferes again and gets dropped by Roxxi. Roxxi gets a SICK spinebuster to Gail onto the ladder and here’s Angelina again….and she’s gone already. She and Velvet shove Roxxi off the ladder and Gail gets the contract.

Rating: D. Well let’s see. The matches combined to take about 8 minutes, the eliminations were pedestrian and nothing particularly interesting happened. On the other hand, Gail showed off a lot of skin and the other girls looked good too so we can’t call it a total loss. Again though: why was it a ladder match? Can someone explain that to me?

Despite Gail being near the top of the division, her contract was allowed to expire and she went back to the WWE in early 2009. Not a lot happened for her though so we’ll skip ahead to the fall and Bragging Rights 2009 for a battle for brand supremacy.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad.

This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

One of the few high points for Gail in the WWE would be making the finals of a tournament for the vacant Divas Title against Maryse on February 10, 2010.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Gail Kim

Gail Kim is incorrectly called a two time Womens’ Champion. Gail slides to the corner to avoid a charge from the blonde and gets two off a bulldog. Maryse comes back with a kick to the face for two of her own but gets rolled up for another near fall. Kim goes up top but completely misses a top rope cross body to put both girls down. A victory roll doesn’t work for Gail and a quick DDT gives Maryse the title. This was nothing.

Gail stuck around for several more months until an interesting incident took place on August 5. It was a battle royal (shocking) and Gail was told to be out in the first minute. No one was able to do it, so she got out of the ring herself. This didn’t exactly look right and WWE took her off TV as a result and let her contract run out. It was back to TNA where she would team up with Madison Rayne to challenge Tara and Miss Tessmacher for the Knockouts Tag Titles on November 3, 2011.

Knockout Tag Titles: Tara/Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Time for the monthly defense of the titles. Brooke’s outfit is designed like a Texas flag for some reason. She and Madison start us off but it’s off to Tara quickly. The arm work begins as the champions are tagging fast. Gail comes in and is all dominant and evil for a bit. Tessmacher’s corner hijinks don’t really work this time. Gail beats on Brooke a bit more until it’s a hot tag to Tara. Everything breaks down and there’s the Widow’s Peak. Karen Jarrett has the referee though and Eat Defeat gives us new champions at 5:05.

Rating: D+. It’s not like anyone cares about the belts, but this is what you do with the titles here as they’re actually having a division wide angle going on. Karen is evil and trying to have her girls get the titles. It’s not particularly interesting but a dull story is better than a repetitive one on a treadmill like the Divas have so this was fine, just not that interesting.

This is of course TNA, so why give her one title when you can give her two? From ten days later at Turning Point 2011.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Brawl to start and I really can’t complain about seeing Velvet in shorts like those. Gail is knocked to the floor and Velvet totally misses a baseball slide but Gail sells it anyway. Back in a crossbody gets two for Sky. Kim takes over and here’s Karen on the ramp as the fans chant what sounds like Sloppy Seconds. Gail hooks an abdominal stretch and Velvet fights back with nothing significant.

I’m sorry if I seem totally out of it here but I have zero interest in this show for the most part. Eat Defeat is blocked into a facebuster by Velvet but Karen distracts as Madison comes in to lay out Velvet. That only gets two and Gail goes up, missing a missile dropkick but managing a rollup with tights for two. Madison cheats again and Eat Defeat gives us a new champion at 5:54. Really?

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the cheating got old fast. Also, they really took the title off Velvet that fast? I’m really kind of surprised by that as I would have thought they would build to Velvet vs. Angelina in the big showdown that has only kind of happened so far. Not great and not bad, but Velvet in blue is always a good thing.

Gail wouldn’t do much in 2012 so we’ll jump to Genesis 2013 and another gauntlet match for a future title shot.

Knockouts Gauntlet Match

Winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. We start with Gail Kim vs. Tessmacher and they trade rollups to start. Tessmacher can’t hit her Stinkface and Kim clotheslines her down for two. Gail goes up but gets crotched, allowing Tessmacher to hit an X-Factor out of the corner for two. That means nothing though as Gail makes her Eat Defeat for the first elimination.

Next in is ODB who stops a charging Gail on the ramp. Back in and Kim gets spanked because that’s what happens in women’s wrestling. A splash crushes Gail and there’s a bronco buster to hammer in the point. They trade rollups and Gail avoids having her face rammed into ODB’s crotch before rolling her up with tights for the pin.

Mickie James is in next and she takes Gail down quickly, only to get caught by a running shoulder in the corner. A neckbreaker puts Gail down as do an enziguri and a flapjack. We head to the floor for a headscissors from James before heading inside where Gail molests the referee. A rollup on Mickie with another handful of tights gets another pin.

Velvet Sky is the last chick in this so she can beat a weakened Gail which is supposed to make us care I guess. I can live with Velvet in a catsuit though. Gail sends her into the barricade but poses on the ropes instead of covering. A cradle gets two for Gail but she gets caught holding the ropes. Sky hits her sitout Pedigree for the pin at 12:00. Gail had her foot under the ropes so I’m sure a triple threat is coming.

Rating: D. I can’t stand gauntlet matches for one reason: they’re nothing but a collection of short matches that don’t have time to develop at all and usually result in a bunch of stupid finishes. On top of that, this was your usual worthless female wrestling with stupid moves that are supposed to be sexy but come off looking completely stupid. I’m sure a triple threat match is coming because that’s how wrestling works.

The next big story for Gail was a feud with referee Taryn Terrell, due to Taryn allegedly costing her matches. This let to a last Knockout standing match at Slammiversary 2013.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Gail attacks in the corner to start but Taryn comes back with clotheslines to take over. Gail puts on an octopus hold but lets it go early and only gets a six count. Kim goes to the floor for a chair but has it kicked out of her hands. Some hair drags keep Gail down for a few moments but she manages to get the chair up to block a high cross body. Gail is up first and goes after the knee for a bit before wedging the chair between the ropes. Taryn blocks a ram into the chair but gets caught in the Figure Four around the post.

Terrell is up at 8 and dodges Gail’s charge into the corner, sending her head first into the chair in a SICK looking crash. That only gets eight so Taryn puts her in the Figure Four around the post for eight more. Taryn misses a charge and lands on the ramp for nine, only to be caught in a legsweep onto the ramp for nine more. Gail tries a piledriver but gets reversed into a bulldog off the ramp to put both girls down. Taryn beats the count for the win at 9:18.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in YEARS. The bulldog off the stage was a bigger spot but the missed charge into the chair should have been the finish. It looked MUCH more painful and I thought Gail was out cold. Still though, very entertaining match and I was really impressed with Taryn here. I’d bet on her vs. Mickie at BFG for the title in a veteran vs. underdog title match.

Since that was so awesome, the only solution was a rematch about a month later in a ladder match. From July 11, 2013.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

This is a ladder match with the winner getting a title shot at some point in the future. Taryn throws her out to the ramp to start and spears her through the ropes for good measure. The first ladder is brought in and rammed into Gail’s ribs in the corner. Taryn dropkicks the top of the ladder to drive it further into the ribs as Taz is back on commentary. Gail’s cross body is kicked out of the air and the ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. Gail sends her into the side of the ladder to take over but can’t hook the figure four around the post.

Back from a break with both girls climbing and slugging it out on top. They both fall down and land on the ropes with the ladder nearly crushing Gail’s skull in the process. Taryn shoves the ladder face first into a charging Gail but her leg is tied up in the ladder. Taryn has to find a replacement but Gail gets up and climbs, only to be pulled back down by Terrell. The other ladder is bridged between the ropes and the standing ladder but Gail gets off before Taryn can crush her against the bridge.

Gail puts the figure four on Taryn inside the ladder but both of them climb up anyway. Taryn chokes Gail off the ladder and shoves her to the mat, but the knee won’t let her stand high enough. Instead Terrell dives off the ladder with a cross body and both girls are down again. They both climb onto the bridged ladder with Taryn being thrown to the mat again in a big thud. Terrell is up first and hooks a dragon sleeper, but Gail TIES TARYN’S HAIR AROUND THE ROPES. Gail climbs the ladder to get the shot at 15:10.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a creative ending. The match was so good that it makes me get over Gail getting ANOTHER title shot which I don’t think anyone wants to see. Taryn is showing good promise in the ring which goes along with her looks. I liked the last man standing match better but this was certainly good stuff.

We’ll close it out with a win, from Bound For Glory 2013.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Brooke vs. Gail Kim

ODB is defending. Brooke looks GREAT in a leather version of her usual attire. Gail is knocked to the floor to start with Brooke taking over on ODB in the corner. Brooke gives her a Stink Face but ODB pops up and sends her into the corner for a Bronco Buster. Gail comes back in, only to be knocked back to the floor a few seconds later. Brooke works on ODB’s back and gets two off a quick neckbreaker.

Gail pops back up and grabs the figure four around the post, only to have ODB make the save with her chest. ODB chops Brooke but gets rolled up for a quick two. Off to a half crab on Brooke but Gail makes another save. The challengers both go up but have to shove off a double superplex attempt, followed by Gail hitting a missile dropkick on ODB. Brooke adds a top rope elbow (WAY too popular of a move tonight) for no cover.

Back up and ODB gets two on Gail via a delayed vertical suplex. The referee gets taken out as ODB somehow gets both girls up in a fireman’s carry at the same time. Brooke falls off but ODB slams Gail onto her….and here’s Tapa. She runs over ODB and takes her out, only to powerbomb Gail on top of ODB for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Impact and that’s the problem with this show: nothing feels special at all so far. Gail is champion again. So? She’s been champion before, just like everyone else in the division. Nothing to see here other than Brooke looking great.

Gail Kim is a good example of a talented worker whose looks helped her out a lot. She looked great in a tiny pair of shorts but could also work a solid wrestling match. The interesting thing is people remember has as being champion quite often but she only held it once in WWE and three times in TNA. Solid worker, but a step below the other top girls who came before her.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HY4NV7Y

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

We’ll stay in TNA today with someone a bit better looking than Sabin: Madison Rayne.

The first match I have is a rarity, as I have no idea when or where it’s from. It’s from September 2006 at the latest and might be from Ohio Championship Wrestling but I’m really not sure. Madison is of course Lexi Lane.

Lexi Lane vs. Traci Brooks

Both girls appear to be faces here and they’re in a high school gym. Both girls try quick rollups for two each and it’s a standoff. Signs suggest this is Hopewell, Ohio, which apparently is a big city for Ohio Championship Wrestling. They hit the mat with Lane putting on a body scissors and rolling Traci (nearly falling out of her top) around for two.

Traci gets spanked into the corner and the fans are far more into the match all of a sudden. Brooks takes her down for some of her own medicine and the referee gets some as well. Lexi takes her to the mat with a headlock but Brooks fights up and gets two off a backbreaker. The referee is accused of looking at Traci’s chest instead of counting before they trade strikes in the corner. Lexi gets two off a clothesline to the ribs (called a spear) followed by some weak forearms. A bad looking X Factor gets the same and Lane goes up for a cross body, only to have Traci roll her through for the pin with a handful of trunks.

Raitng: D+. It was clear that both of them were brand new here and at that point you can’t blame them for not working so well. When you’re that young the main thing you need is ring time and this is the place to get it. They’re clearly still learning the basics and there’s nothing wrong with that.

After getting her start in Shimmer as Ashley Lane, Madison made her debut in TNA in early 2009. She soon joined the Beautiful People with Velvet Sky and Angelina Love and made her PPV debut in a six person tag at Destination X 2009.

Beautiful People vs. Roxxi/Taylor Wilde/The Governor

Yes, the Governor is the Sarah Palin character that Daffney played. What is up with TNA being all political? There are still three Beautiful People at this point: Angelina, Velvet and Madison. At least Wilde looks good here. Governor (in a pantsuit) vs. Velvet to start. The fans chant yes we can because the Orlando fans are rather annoying.

Off to Roxxi and then to Taylor. The non-beautiful ones are tagging in really fast here. Apparently Madison is just now an official member of the BP. Velvet locks in an Octopus Hold to Roxxi who escapes and kicks her in the face. Sign: “Botchmania 71 = this match.” It’s pretty clear the fans aren’t that into this but that’s to be expected.

It’s one of those matches where stuff is happening but there isn’t anything to talk about. Taylor is called the upset queen still despite that being like two years prior to this. Taylor comes in and cleans house as this is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in years. Everything breaks down and the Governor dives over the top to the floor to take out everyone not named Madison on the other team. Madison gets caught in a bridging German by Wilde to end this.

Rating: D. What the heck was the point of this? You hear the term “TV match” a lot and this is the definition of one. Nothing at all about this match implies that it should be on a PPV in the slightest and yet here it is, opening the show. You can tell a lot about a PPV and how much effort is put into it by the opener and this one was awful. No one cared, nothing happened and it was short. Weak match indeed and I’m not looking forward to the rest of this show at all now.

The Beautiful People would dominate the Knockouts division in the coming years but they needed some gold. One of their attempts to gain some would come at Turning Point 2009 in a six Knockouts tag with the singles and Tag Titles on the line.

Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita

All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think I’ll see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but it’s off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. We’re less than a minute in and they’ve all been in already.

Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.

Madison takes over and it’s off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey can’t wrestle so we’re back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and it’s cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.

Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesn’t get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.

Rayne would get her own singles title at Lockdown 2010 in another six person tag with all titles on the line.

Knockout’s Title/Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love

Ok so it’s your standard two singles wrestlers vs. tag champions. You know the rules I’m sure. Yep Tara is gorgeous. Velvet and Angelina start us off. Taz is rather annoying on commentary to say the least. Some nice double teaming from the BP there. Make jokes amongst yourselves. Tara pulls an Angle and totally misses a moonsault. Good to see that the accuracy is there still.

Angel is better in the ring than she’s given credit for. Madison takes the Widow’s Peak but Velvet makes the save. Lacey gets in somehow and drills Tara in the head with a belt to give Madison Rayne the Knockout’s Title. So that’s two straight title changes with the champion not getting pinned. Ok then. I do love the BP being the focus of the division. That’s intelligent and not sarcastic actually.

Rating: C-. Not terrible actually. Love is underrated in the ring and Tara is always solid. The booking is right here and we don’t get the wacky tag partners which is never any good. Madison being champion is something new that could be worth a try. I’m rather happy for the first near hour of this show. I must be coming down with something.

Madison would win her third Knockouts Title when she made Tara lay down for her on October 14, 2010’s Impact. Since that’s a 4 second match, we’ll look at one of her title defenses at Genesis 2011 against Mickie James.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie is still insanely sexy.  Madison is doing the whole classy chick gimmick thing again after debuting it a few days ago.  Or was it ten days ago?  Does it really matter?  Madison runs away to start but gets caught in an armdrag for two.  All Mickie to start of course as Madison shrieks.  Madison runs as Tazz makes sex jokes.

The fans say Madison can’t wrestle.  I’m so fed up with them it’s unreal.  Madison uses the ropes to get two in the corner.  This is about as uninteresting as it could be but they’re both hot so that helps a lot.  Rana out of the corner by Mickie drops the champion on her head.  Since it’s TNA we change camera angles every 9 seconds.

Cravate by Madison as we’re killing time now.  There’s a chinlock as this is going way too long, nearly at 9 minutes now.  Mickie gets a nice counter and a rollup for two.  Boot to the head gets two for Madison.  Champ tries the head bounce thing she does but Mickie counters into a wheelbarrow slam for two.  DDT is reversed and Madison gets spanked.

Thesz Press gets no cover.  Mickie sets for the DDT but here’s Tara because she and Mickie haven’t spent enough time together already.  Madison plays possum and loads up her arm with something to get the pin to retain the title.  For the love of crap get the title off of her already.

Rating: D. This got nearly 14 minutes.  Do I need to explain to you why this was a bad idea?  It wasn’t any good for the most part as Mickie dominated the whole time.  I’m bored out of my mind with Madison and her reign as she does nothing interesting while Mickie and Tara are definitely the best girls on the roster.  But hey let’s keep pushing through with the same thing the whole time right?  Bad match.

The only thing left for Madison to achieve was a Knockouts Tag Title and she would get a shot on the November 3, 2011 episode of Impact.

Knockout Tag Titles: Tara/Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Time for the monthly defense of the titles. Brooke’s outfit is designed like a Texas flag for some reason. She and Madison start us off but it’s off to Tara quickly. The arm work begins as the champions are tagging fast. Gail comes in and is all dominant and evil for a bit. Tessmacher’s corner hijinks don’t really work this time. Gail beats on Brooke a bit more until it’s a hot tag to Tara. Everything breaks down and there’s the Widow’s Peak. Karen Jarrett has the referee though and Eat Defeat gives us new champions at 5:05.

Rating: D+. It’s not like anyone cares about the belts, but this is what you do with the titles here as they’re actually having a division wide angle going on. Karen is evil and trying to have her girls get the titles. It’s not particularly interesting but a dull story is better than a repetitive one on a treadmill like the Divas have so this was fine, just not that interesting.

Madison would be gone for most of 2013 due to getting pregnant, but she would get the Knockouts Title one more time before the end of the year at Hardcore Justice 2012.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher

Tessmacher is defending. They shove each other around to start and Earl is refereeing. WHY WOULD STING LET HIM DO THAT? Madison takes over by sending Tessmacher into the corner and then launches her across the ring by the hair. That has to hurt like no other. Tessmacher comes back with some clotheslines but walks into a northern lights suplex for two. The real comeback starts with some clotheslines but that mat slam of Tessmacher’s is countered. The champ slams her down by the hair and hits a top rope elbow for two. Out of nowhere Madison grabs a rollup and uses the ropes for the pin and the title at 5:30.

Rating: D. This was your usual Knockouts match: not that good but the girls look good in their little outfits. Hebner didn’t cheat at all in this which makes the sights of Madison kissing him COMPLETELY POINTLESS. Yes I get that it could mean something later, but WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Not a terrible match but man alive I do not care about women’s wrestling at all in either company. It’s just dull all around.

We’ll close things out with Madison’s return to the company in 2013 after having a baby and a title shot against Knockouts Champion Gail Kim from Genesis 2014.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is challenging but is still beaten down from the attack from before the break. Kim beats her down even more by stomping away in the corner but Madison comes back with a rollup for two of her own. Madison can’t shake off all of the punishment from earlier though and staggers down off a forearm to the head. A shoulder block sends the champion to the floor but Tapa runs Madison over and chokes her down. Tapa is finally ejected but Gail does just fine by putting on the Figure Four around the post. The referee breaks it up and Rayne comes back with a flapjack and the Rayne Drop for the pin and the title at 4:00.

Rating: D. Just a match here but at least it ended the less than enthralling Gail Kim title reign. Kim is very talented in the ring but she’s a black hole of charisma, making her title reigns very difficult to sit through. Rayne could be an improvement if she’s actually given the chance to do something different.

I’m kind of surprised by how low most of these ratings are. Madison is a better worker than a lot of the Knockouts but it’s true that she owes a lot of her job to her looks. To be fair though, she can only do so much with limited talent around her. One other thing: you might have noticed the lack of stories here and that’s a big problem for the Knockouts. Almost all they have are title matches with nothing connecting them and that gets old in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HY4NV7Y

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s a big night tonight as we have the semi-finals of the world title tournament. The two matches scheduled are Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode in a tables match and Magnus vs. Kurt Angle in a last man standing match. The winners will face off in two weeks for the title in a gimmick match to be announced. At this point the question is who gets to face AJ Styles when he returns for the champion vs. champion match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like a scene out of a post apocalyptic thriller with a WAY higher budget than TNA usually has. It’s another recap of the tournament.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say. Last week was Thanksgiving and he’s very thankful for his health, his family, and the fans’ support as he tries to get into the Hall of Fame. Winning the title is the path for him to prove himself and Austin Aries gave him the fight of his life in the last round. However, now he has to face Magnus so the Brit needs to come out here.

Angle asks Magnus what happened last week when Magnus left him alone four on one. Magnus talks about getting hurt in a match against Samoa Joe and getting into the tag match anyway. Magnus hurt his knee and that’s all there is to it. Angle says champions fight through injuries and he has a knee injury at the moment to prove it.

Kurt asks Magnus if he has the heart to be a champion. Magnus says he does along with the hunger to go through everyone he has to in order to become champion for the first time. He’ll prove that to Angle tonight. Angle says they may be friends, but he has to go through Magnus, Hardy and Roode to become champion.

This brings out Roode who says he has the killer instinct you need to be a world champion. We’ve already seen what Roode will do to Storm to become champion, so next up is Jeff Hardy. If he’ll do that to Storm, imagine what he’ll do to Hardy. Roode says Magnus will never be a world champion. Magnus goes for Roode but Angle holds him back. Hardy comes out to start the tables match right now.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Tables match. The fans are naturally behind Hardy who starts off with some right hands and the legdrop between the legs. Hardy sends him into the corner and dropkicks Roode in the back before bringing in a table. Bobby uses the breather to get in a shot of his own and sets up the table in the corner. A clothesline puts Hardy down but he stops a charging Roode with an elbow in the corner. The comeback is very short lived though as Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind only hits mat. They fight to the apron and Hardy kicks Roode in the face, putting both of them through the table and sending us to a beak as this is figured out.

Back with the match continuing and Roode in control, only to be caught by a quick Twist of Fate, knocking him onto the table. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but Roode rolls off the table before Jeff jumps. That’s cool with Hardy as he dives over the table and hits the Swanton anyway to keep control. Hardy loads up a superplex but gets crotched on the top rope in a counter. Roode tires to suplex him over the top and through another table at ringside, only to be kicked in the chest to put Roode through the table at 14:00.

Rating: C. This was fine. Roode is pretty solidly in the JBL role as his resume is strong enough to make a win over him mean something but he’s not likely to be the top guy ever again. Jeff is a good face to send into the title match as he’s over with the fans and still able to put on good matches.

Ethan Carter III gets his makeup applied and says he’s calling out a first ballot Hall of Famer tonight.

AJ’s agent has sent Dixie a letter saying the title will be back soon.

Ethan Carter is here to call out a legend who has been in the ring with the likes of Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart. Therefore, here’s his opponent: Earl Hebner. Hebner says he isn’t a wrestler but Carter says his aunt is Earl’s boss. There’s even going to be a special referee: Earl’s son Brian. Carter says Earl is going to lay down so his worthless son can count 1-2-3. Earl won’t do it so Ethan threatens him until he does it.

Ethan Carter III vs. Earl Hebner

Ethan takes his time and puts a finger on Earl’s chest for the pin at 48 seconds.

Carter makes Brian roll Earl out of the ring and raise Ethan’s hand.

We recap the Bad Influence vs. Park/Young feud and Bad Influence trying to convince Park that he’s Abyss.

We see Christy and Sam Shaw on their date. Christy gets up for a second and Shaw is somewhat obsessed with a knife. The waiter comes for the check and Shaw threatens to gouge his eyes out if he catches the waiter looking at Christy again. Christy comes back and they leave quickly.

Video recapping AJ going around the world to defend the title.

Dixie gets a delivery: flowers. The note says it’s from a fan so Dixie yells at the aide who delivered them.

Roode says he should be in the title match because you shouldn’t lose a wrestling match for falling through a table.

Dixie gives a speech to some of the roster. She has a new great idea: Feast or Fired. It’s TNA’s version of MITB. There are four cases: one containing a world, tag team or X-Division title shot each and the last containing a pink slip. You get a case, you win whatever is inside of it.

Here’s Bad Influence with an envelope containing some results. Before they can go into it, here’s Joseph Park to interrupt. Park gets serious and tells them they need to stop because they’ve won. Maybe Park never should have been in TNA and maybe he’s just an attorney. Kaz thinks that’s funny and says they have information. Park snatches the envelope from them and rips it up. Daniels thinks it’s funny and Kaz says all that proves is Park can rip apart an envelope.

We get a video showing Bad Influence at Park’s law offices to find them completely empty. They ask the secretary who says the offices used to belong to a doctor but he moved out months ago. Daniels shows her Park’s business card and apparently the law offices closed about 13 years ago.

Back in the arena, Daniels wants to know what Park has been doing for thirteen years. Park gets nervous and again asks them to drop this. Kaz spits at Park and calls him a liar before the beatdown commences. Eric Young makes the save and tells Bad Influence that if they keep knocking on the devil’s door, the devil is going to answer. Young makes a tag match next week but Park isn’t sure.

Sting gives another of his speeches to Magnus and says he’s looking forward to the main event tonight.

Dixie’s main assistant Spud is told the delivery man is here.

Bromans vs. James Storm/Gunner

Non-title. Zema Ion is DJ for the champions and gets in a great line with “Ladies remember these names because you’ll be screaming them later!” Storm throws Jesse around with ease to start before it’s off to Gunner for the same on Robbie. Zema keeps playing sound effects on the turntables. Gunner pounds away on Robbie in the corner but Jesse’s interference lets the champions take over. Jesse gets two off a dropkick but Gunner pretty easily tags out to Storm. The superkick lays out Jesse but Robbie spits beer at Gunner. The tattooed one goes into a rage and he knocks the referee down for the DQ at 4:50.

Rating: D+. This was about advancing the Gunner/Storm split which doesn’t quite work when they were only a team for about seven months. Storm really needs to get out of the tag division because there’s absolutely nothing left for him to do there. Gunner could get a nice rub out of this though.

Sting tries to go in to see Angle but Spud stops him. Sting makes fun of Spud’s job title and is told that Dixie wants him out. If Dixie wants him to leave, come tell him to his face. Spud goes to see the delivery man and Sting wants to know what’s going on around here.

Gail Kim and her husband say don’t send her any more challengers until you have someone good.

Chris Sabin is looking in a mirror while Velvet Sky checks her hair. It’s Sabin vs. Aries next week for the X Title. Velvet asks if she looks good and Sabin picks up the belt and says they look good.

Gail Kim vs. Laura Dennis

From what I can find, Dennis is an indy wrestler named Cherry Bomb who has worked in Shimmer, CZW and ROH. Gail runs her over to start and sends Laura into the corner for a running cross body. Kim talks a lot of trash but gets slapped in the face. Some clotheslines put Kim down and a running forearm gets two but Gail gets some feet up in the corner. Eat Defeat gets the pin at 3:02.

Rating: D. We need to get to Tapa crushing Kim already so we can stop caring about either of them at all. These one off girls aren’t helping the division’s major problem at all but it’s better than seeing the same matches over and over again. This was just a squash though which doesn’t do anything for anyone.

Post match Gail hits another Eat Defeat but before Tapa can beat up Dennis again, ODB comes out for the save. Tapa is knocked to the floor and ODB slaps her chest.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Magnus

Last man standing. Angle takes him into the corner to start but Magnus counters into an armbreaker followed by a headlock. Back up and Magnus pounds away to drive Angle into the corner, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. They slug it out some more and we take a break.

Back with…..Dixie receiving the package she’s been waiting for all night. We go back to the arena to see Angle taken down by something we don’t see for a five count. Angle comes back with five Rolling Germans but Magnus gets up at five. Kurt spears Magnus to the floor but both guys are up by 8. Magnus tries to get back in but has to elbow out of the German suplex off the apron.

The elbow drop off the apron has Kurt in trouble but he gets up at nine. Back in and Angle hits a quick snap suplex but misses the moonsault. Magnus picks him up and hits a modified Rock Bottom (arm around the ribs instead of the chest) and the top rope elbow gets nine. Angle accidentally takes out the referee before hitting the Angle Slam. Cue Roode with a clothesline to the back of Kurt’s head and an Attitude Adjustment. Magnus gets back up but Angle can’t make the ten count at 15:23.

Rating: C+. Not great here but it could have been much worse. Angle is great in the role of guy you can throw out there for a good match and to put someone over at any time. It wasn’t a great match but it advances Roode vs. Angle which needs to end after the next match. Good match here but not great.

Hardy saves Angle and wishes Magnus luck with a handshake.

Dixie opens the box and finds a toy belt.

We get a video from AJ, saying Dixie needs to come to Georgia if she wants the belt back.

Overall Rating: B-. This was one of TNA’s better shows in a long time. The matches were good, but more importantly than that the stories felt like they were important and got the time that they needed to develop. Nothing came off as stupid or like a waste of time and those are things that have been plaguing TNA for months now.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Hardy kicked Roode through a table.

Ethan Carter III b. Earl Hebner – Hebner laid down for Carter

Bromans b. Gunner/James Storm via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee

Gail Kim b. Laura Dennis – Eat Defeat

Magnus b. Kurt Angle – Angle couldn’t answer the ten count

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 7, 2013
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s a big show this week for TNA as this is the start of their world title tournament, perhaps the final Impact outside of Orlando for a good while and it’s the 500^th episode. However, what has TNA been focused on with their new Impact 365 dead? The fact that Pacman Jones is back in TNA for a show or two.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with him, he’s the guy that was suspended from the NFL for a year and thought he’d make a quick buck “wrestling” (read as standing on the apron and making a cover here or there) in the mean time. Now he’s famous for being a decent football player that hasn’t gotten arrested in a few years. He’s been the focus for TNA in their internet videos late. Let’s get to it.

We open with Dixie in the back with Pacman when Mr. Anderson comes up. He doesn’t want any trouble but just a match with Bully. Dixie says she can make that happen.

We get a recap of AJ leaving and the announcement of the world title tournament via a voiceover similar to a movie trailer.

Pacman Jones and another Cincinnati Bengal are in the front row.

Here’s the Main Event Mafia, which is actually still a thing. Sting says the Mafia has accomplished its goals of keeping Aces and 8’s at bay and taking the world title away from Bully Ray. Today he can say mission accomplished, even though there has been a lot of trials and tribulation along the way. As of today, the Mafia is being put back up on the shelf. All of them have something they’re doing at the moment, such as Sting coming up short in the gauntlet match and the other three all being in the world title tournament.

Sting is going to be dealing with this thing called entitlement. He’s going to be dealing with those people that are trying to come in on top without ever having to pay any dues. Sting has respect for this business and hugs all three members of the team. He says he loves Joe and Angle but only hugs Magnus before walking away. Joe takes the mic and says he’s been denied a world title for far too long. The road to the title starts with Magnus and it’s going to go through Angle. They’re all friends, but Joe is going to remind them why they make far better enemies.

Magnus says that Angle is on a road to redemption but it’s also Magnus’ road to destiny. He loves Angle like a brother, but after he goes through Joe, he’ll mow Angle down if he has to. His goal is to become world champion but the fans don’t seem to have the same vision that Magnus has.

Angle is left alone in the ring and says Sting is right. They all have their own goals and his is to become world champion once again. He also wants to prove he’s Hall of Fame worthy, but last week he suffered a setback. Last week he was told he wasn’t cleared to compete, but since then he’s talked to his personal doctor….but here’s Roode with an interruption.

Roode says he’s embarrassed for Kurt because he keeps having to make excuses. Angle needs to be a man and admit that he’s lost twice in a row to the It Factor. Roode’s goal is the world title as well, and if he has to face Angle in the finals, he has no problem destroying him for a third time. Angle is cool with that but doesn’t want to wait for the finals so the fight is on now.

Angle is still in the ring after the break and says he’ll wait in the ring until he gets Bobby Roode even if it’s until next week. Roode comes right back out at him but security tries to break it up. The guys are finally split up after a few moments but Angle sprints up the ramp to get another piece. Joe, Magnus and Bad Influence come out to try to split them up and both guys are finally taken to the back.

The opening segment somehow keeps going with Bad Influence getting in the Bengals’ faces, only to have them come into the ring and slam Kaz and Daniels down.

Garrett and Knux say the condition of the club is none of the people’s business. Anderson comes up behind them and says that he just wants to talk. He says what they did to him was the best thing they’ve ever done to him. They need to get out of the club though because this isn’t what they started.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB vs. Brooke

Winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. Brooke and Velvet shake it a bit to start so ODB chests them down. A double Bronco Buster has Brooke and Sky in trouble but Brooke rolls ODB up for two. ODB gets knocked to the floor so Velvet can get a neckbreaker for two on Brooke. Velvet gets powerslammed down but Brooke takes her down and drops a top rope elbow to ODB. Everyone is down so here are Gail and Lei’D Tapa to watch as we take a break.

Back with a three way slugout with ODB taking over. Both girls put a half crab on Brooke at the same time. The alliance doesn’t last long as Velvet starts chopping away at ODB, only to be ran over again. ODB slams Brooke onto Velvet but goes to the floor to yell at Tapa and Kim. Brooke hits a dropkick through the ropes before clotheslining Velvet down. Everyone is back inside now and Brooke hits a cross body to take out both girls at once. Gail and Tapa get up on the apron and Gail comes in to break up In Yo Face to Brooke for a DQ at 9:45.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world but the ending sucked. Since when are there DQ’s in a triple threat match? Velvet and ODB were their usual selves but Brooke looked a bit better than her typical performance here. The downside here is how obvious it was that the division is dying for some fresh blood though.

Post match Gail and Tapa destroy everyone (save for some forearms from ODB that staggered Tapa). Gail says it’s clear she has no competition so she’s issuing an open challenge to anyone from outside the company and if anyone beats her, they can have a title shot.

We get a video from AJ Styles of a title defense in AAA in Mexico.

Bully goes up to Knux and Garrett in the back and says he’s tired of being ignored. Knux goes on a rant about how this isn’t their club anymore but all about Bully. Ray says it’s because he’s president but Knux demands a vote tonight from all three of them and Taz. Knux storms off but Ray grabs Garrett and glares at him.

Dixie is on the phone, yelling at someone to fix the person who is humiliating her (presumably AJ). She hangs up when Ethan Carter III comes in. Dixie says he’s done a great job but they need to change their plan a bit. Tonight he gets to pick his opponent which he thinks will mean the end of the streak. Dixie says keep the intensity up.

It’s time for the Aces and 8’s vote. Ray comes out last and says his catchphrase but Garrett cuts him off by saying yes, they do know who he is. Before the vote can be taken, Anderson comes out to watch. Garrett votes that he’s finished and takes off his cut. Ray appeals to Knux but Knux says he doesn’t need Ray or the club. He takes off the cut as well, leaving just Tazz and Ray in the club.

Ray assumes that Tazz is going to vote with him, which Ray says we’re going to a tie, which goes to a president. Ray sucks up to Taz a bit before saying Tazz knows how to do what his president tells him to do. Tazz takes the mic and tells Ray to hit the brakes a little bit. They’ve been friends for a long time but have always done the right thing. The club has been about Bully’s agenda alone for way too long, so Tazz is done too. Ray says put those colors back on but Tazz says make him.

Ray yells at Anderson for ruining everything so Anderson throws out a challenge for a No DQ fight at Turning Point. Bully talks about Anderson looking up to Steve Austin, but Anderson has forgotten the first rule. Garrett and Knux jump Anderson so Ray can whip him with the chain while shouting DON’T TRUST ANYBODY. Ray says the Aces catchphrase and the team is still together. Yes, SERIOUSLY.

Back from a break with Bobby Roode coming up to the announce desk and promising to take Angle out tonight.

Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes

This is another rematch for Carter. Ethan runs him over to start and slams him face first into the mat out of a belly to back suplex. There’s a kick to the ribs but Dewey comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a neckbreaker but his missile dropkick misses. The Bulldog Driver (the 1 Percenter) ends Barnes at 2:25.

Joseph Park is eating candy corn in the back when Bad Influence shows up. Park says they’re bullying him while they suggest he’s Abyss. Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin (NFL players currently involved in a bullying scandal) references are made until Eric Young comes in to make science jokes and set up a tag team match.

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young/Joseph Park

Eric gets double teamed to start but sends Bad Influence into each other. Park comes in for some work on the arm but it’s back to Young for an Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner. Kaz is sent to the floor for a suicide dive from Eric and a cross body back inside gets two. Young is sent to the corner for a Flair Flip plus some strutting on the apron, only to have Kaz knock him out to the floor. Back inside and Bad Influence lays him out with Daniels getting two off a clothesline to the back of the head.

A Kaz distraction prevents the referee from seeing the hot tag to Park but Young ducks a clothesline, sending Bad Influence into each other again. Now the hot tag brings in Park and there’s a Boston Crab on Kaz. Daniels makes the save but everything breaks down. Daniels whips Young knees first into the steps before picking up the bell ringer’s hammer. That goes nowhere so he picks up the Appletini to blind Park, allowing Kaz to crucifix him for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. Just a match here for the most part with nothing significant happening at all. We’ve seen these teams fight several times now and nothing has really been accomplished as a result. The only interesting thing here is the difference in comedy. Young and Park have hammered their jokes so far into the ground that they haven’t been funny for months. Bad Influence on the other hand at least keeps their comedy moving, which keeps them feeling much fresher. It’s a nice breather.

Post break here’s Angle again, saying he’ll be out here if Roode wants a piece. Instead he gets Austin Aries who says he respects everything Angle has done, but if Angle doesn’t bring his best, he has no chance. Dixie pops up on screen and spins the Wheel of Dixie to make it a submission match next week. Aries says good luck and walks away but Roode comes in from behind to jump Angle and beat him down against the steps. Aries makes the save so Angle will be at 100% next week. That’s nice of him. Angle throws Aries to the side to get at Roode but so Aries goes after Kurt until security breaks it up.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin

This is Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC but you win by pin or submission. Sabin is sent into a chair in the corner to knock him to the floor, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron to take Chris down again. Sabin comes back with a ladder to the ribs as we head back inside for a rolling cutter onto the ladder for two on Hardy. Jeff comes back with a backdrop to send Sabin onto the ladder in the corner and blasts Sabin with a garbage can.

Jeff sets up a table in the corner but Sabin hurricanranas out of whatever Hardy was setting up. Hardy gets crotched on the top and is caught in the Tree of Woe so Sabin can rip at his EARS. That’s just painful looking. A baseball slide dropkick sends a chair into Hardy’s face and Sabin stands on his groin in the corner. Hardy is able to blast Sabin in the back with a chair despite hanging upside down in a nice counter.

Poetry in Motion connects in the corner and a clothesline sends Sabin out to the floor. Hardy lays him on a table and goes up top but misses a dive, crashing through the table as a result. Back in and Sabin puts Hardy on a table but his splash hits knees. It still drives Jeff through the table though so I’m not sure how much good it did him. Jeff scores with a quick Twist of Fate and sets up the ladder for a Swanton off the top to send him to the next round at 10:45.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. It wasn’t anything that set the bar any higher, but it was what they advertised it as: complete mayhem with both guys destroying each other and a huge spot to end it. I fear for Jeff’s ability to move when he’s 54 years old, but the entertainment is good while it lasts.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a much better show than what TNA has been throwing at us lately but it was far from perfect. I really liked the Angle vs. Roode stuff which made me feel like they wanted to kill each other. It would be better if they were meeting in the tournament, but there’s always the chance that they could cost one another their matches to set up a showdown somewhere in the future.

On the other hand, we have Aces and 8’s. That’s my problem with them: they’re still around. This group has been around nearly 18 months at this point and shouldn’t have made it half that long. I have no idea why this team is still around and I have no idea what TNA sees in them anymore. It’s Ray and two goons who have never accomplished anything on their own but we’re still supposed to care about them?

Overall the show was decent tonight but there was too much stuff that went nowhere, such as pretty much everything other than the main event and Angle vs. Roode. I liked tonight’s episode, but I have zero faith in TNA to make this last at all. Maybe it’ll be good for a few weeks, but long term planning is TNA’s Kryptonite. Actually scratch that as it would imply TNA is Superman. We’ll say it’s their……whatever the weakness is of Carrotman.

Results

Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Brooke went to a no contest when Gail Kim interfered

Ethan Carter III b. Dewey Barnes – 1 Percenter

Bad Influence b. Joseph Park/Eric Young – Crucifix to Park

Jeff Hardy b. Chris Sabin – Swanton Bomb off the top of the ladder

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

So the big stories at the moment are Hogan possibly leaving after October 1, TNA possibly taking Impact off the road by the spring and Mickie James’ contract expiring and her walking away.  We’ll lump these together into one post and say…..1. This is I believe the third time in four years that it appears Hogan won’t be at Bound For Glory no matter what I believe?  At the end of the day, Hogan is probably more trouble than he’s worth.  I’d assume he’s the highest paid guy in TNA and he’s on TV about five minutes a week anymore.  I doubt Hogan is leaving forever, but I can’t imagine he won’t be at BFG.

2. Impact off the road would probably be a good thing.  It has to cost a good deal of money for them to change venues every other week and with only four regular PPVs a year, the financial burden must be weighing them down.  Yeah it’s annoying to have it in the same place every week, but if it’s what keeps them financially sound, so be it.

3. Mickie James leaving puts them at four active Knockouts: ODB, Velvet Sky, Gail Kim and Tessmacher, who hasn’t been in a match for months now.  Taryn is on maternity leave and will be gone for months.  But remember people: Ivelisse just doesn’t have what it takes to be on Impact.  All she has are looks, ability, charisma and in ring abilities, plus an appeal to the Latino demographic.  Just not worth it.

In short, TNA is in a big state of flux at the moment and it’s hard to say where it comes out.  It should be interesting though.

Knockout Knockdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s time for another one of these shows because having four months between regular PPVs is perfectly fine in TNA. Tonight’s theme is pretty obvious: it’s all about the girls with a bunch of singles matches and the winners going into a battle royal to determine who is the best Knockout EVER. In other words, it’s the same one idea show as the tag team and X-Division shows. Let’s get to it.

The opening video basically says it’s all about the Knockouts and that’s it. Oh and it’s produced by Brooke Hogan so she can get her name on something else.

All of the Knockouts come to the ring to open the show. A lot of these girls are from OVW or have never appeared in TNA before. They’re here for a speech from Brooke to make sure we know she exists. She explains the tournament like it’s a regular tournament despite everything else I can find saying it’s a battle royal at the end with the winners of the previous match.

We get a clip from Bound For Glory 2007 where Gail Kim beat Roxxi Leveaux in the final match of a gauntlet match to become the first champion.

Gail Kim is in the back and lists off her accomplishments and says she’ll be the winner tonight. Madison Rayne pops in and says it would be awesome for Gail to become the new Queen of TNA.

Gail Kim vs. Alissa Flash

Flash is more famous as Cheerleader Melissa and Raisha Saed in TNA. Gail grabs a headlock to start as Taz complains about being ranked too low in PWI one year. Now it’s on to the Cauliflower Alley Club as Flash counters into an arm crank, only to have Gail take her down with relative ease. Flash comes back with a German suplex to send Gail to the outside for a breather.

A quick chase scene goes nowhere until Gail sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and Gail chokes away before getting two off a missile dropkick. Off to an Octopus Hold (AJ’s Black Widow, even though the Octopus Hold is normally the name of a different hold entirely) but Flash counters into something resembling the Edgecator. Gail gets to the ropes and manages to kick Flash in the head to escape.

Flash goes nuts for a second and pounds away before taking Gail down with a Samoan drop. Some clotheslines put Gail down and Flash hits some rapid fire punches in the corner. Something like a curb stomp gets two and a missile dropkick gets the same for Alissa. A dragon screw leg whip puts Gail down but Alissa walks into Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: C+. The abrupt ending aside, this was a nice match. As annoying as Gail has become due to always being on Impact, she can go in the ring when she has someone to work with. Flash was solid out there as well which shouldn’t surprise anyone who has seen her indy stuff. Good stuff here but I have a feeling it’s downhill from this point on.

Video on Lei’D Tapa who has only been wrestling for two years now. She cries because her uncle, the Barbarian, is so proud of her. I think this is her Gut Check video. It still should have been Ivelisse.

We get Ivelisse’s Gut Check video as well. Again, she has more experience, a better look, an MMA background (remember that the Gut Check with her and Tapa was around the time that Ronda Rousey was headlining a UFC show) and is very good looking, but she’s not the Barbarian’s niece so she has no future right?

Ivelisse vs. Lei’D Tapa

Tapa takes her down with ease and sends Ivelisse into the corner. Ivelisse gets all fired up and kicks Tapa back before a kick to the ribs sends Lei’D down. Tapa tries to sit down onto Ivelisse to block a sunset flip but only hits mat. A shot to the ribs takes Ivelisse down and a bad looking slam does the same. Ivelisse chops away but gets clotheslined back down followed by something like an AA for no cover.

Tapa chokes her down and pounds on Ivelisse’s back some more but charges into a kick in the corner. A bad looking rana (since Tapa is a freaking giant) puts Tapa down to the floor and a BIG dive takes her down again. The fans are into Ivelisse, giving TNA even more proof that they screwed up. Back in and Ivelisse puts on a guillotine choke but Tapa swings her forward into a slam for the pin.

Rating: D+. It still should have been Ivelisse. I still see absolutely nothing from her that would make me want to watch another one of her matches. She’s nothing special in the ring, she doesn’t talk that well and the fans don’t care. The ONLY thing she has going for her is her size but she’s not dominant like Kong was. She’s just big and that’s not enough to build a career on. I still haven’t heard a reason I agree with to pick Tapa but it’s another reason to criticize them.

We get a clip from BFG 2012 where Tara won the Knockouts Title and introduced Jesse Godderz as her Hollywood boyfriend.

Tara brags about being awesome and Jesse acts like a jerk of course.

Tara vs. Mia Yim

Yim is another indy chick that I’ve never seen before. Tara shoves her down to start before going to chill next to Jesse. A hiptoss puts Mia down as the announcers ignore the match with one of their stupid conversations about nothing at all. Mia comes back with some hiptosses to send Tara to the floor and a missile dropkick sends her right back outside. We get another chase with Jesse grabbing Mia’s leg to give Tara control.

Tara clotheslines her down for two but Mia Matrixes out of it in a nice counter. We hit the chinlock on Yim but she gets the knees up to block Tara’s standing moonsault. Mia comes back with a bunch of kicks and a Lionsault gets no cover as Mia injures her ribs. Instead a German suplex gets two on Tara but a Jesse distraction causes Mia to miss a corkscrew splash. The Widow’s Peak sends Tara to the battle royal.

Rating: C. Mia didn’t look bad here but there’s only so much you can show in six minutes. That’s part of the problem with this show so far: these matches, other than maybe the opener which has gotten more time than the other matches, feel like they belong on Impact. Granted we’re only 45 minutes in and the show hasn’t been terrible or anything yet.

Video on some campaign called Dare To Be, which is little more than a way to show a swimsuit photo shoot. Nothing wrong with that other than ODB. It basically turns into a music video with a lot of shots of a graphic for the Knockouts website.

Video of Tessmacher winning the Knockouts Title.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana

Santana Garrett is another indy chick who is rather good looking. Both girls pose on the corner to start with Tessmacher being more popular. Santana takes over with a quick clothesline and a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Tessmacher but she rolls through and kicks Santana in the head for two. Santana hits a low kick of her own for two and it’s off to a freaky looking double arm submission.

Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.

Rating: C-. Santana is another chick who looked decent out there and Tessmacher was her usual self. You can take that line to mean whatever you like for it to mean. They probably did the right thing here by keeping things short as Tessmacher isn’t the kind of chick you want in a long match. Just have her look good on camera and get out of there quick.

ODB says she’s tough and doesn’t care who she’s fighting tonight. She’s fighting Trinity and promises to out drink her.

Now, for more proof that these are a waste of time, here’s the ENTIRE ODB and Eric Young wedding. Literally, they spent fifteen minutes showing us the ENTIRE SEGMENT. Are they that strapped for cash that they can’t take one of the girls in the three way tonight and thrown a few hundred bucks at some indy chick to give her the biggest match of her career? Instead we get this entire thing which really has nothing to do with the Knockouts. It’s a comedy angle that came and went and that’s about it. Egads what a waste of time.

ODB vs. Trinity

Trinity still looks good. She talks trash to start so ODB rubs her crotch at Trinity to show how classy she is. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor for our first move in a minute and a half. ODB follows her out and rams Trinity into the apron before a LOUD chop fires the crowd up a bit. ODB uses a handshake to pull Trinity into a clothesline but Trinity takes her down and stomps a bit. This is going nowhere. ODB keeps crawling towards her flask before coming back with another clothesline. She finally gets the flask and goes nuts with a bronco buster for two. The Bam is good for the pin on Trinity to finally end this.

Rating: D. ODB isn’t classy. We get it already. Now do ANYTHING else. Trinity looked great in her attire but was nothing to see in the ring at all. Why I’m supposed to cheer a loud woman who rubs her crotch and can’t function in a wrestling match without alcohol is beyond me, but they’re going to push her forever anyway.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, including their awesome last Knockout standing match.

Taryn Terrell vs. Jackie Moore

In case you’ve never heard my opinion on Moore, we’ll keep it simple and say I wouldn’t mind if she was trampled by stampeding camels. Why she keeps getting spots on shows is beyond me, but I’m sure she can shout really loudly and explain why, because shouting really loudly is just as good as anything else right?

Jackie pounds away but Taryn comes back with an elbow to the face. Terrell pounds away in the corner but Jackie slams her down and calls her Barbie. Some hair drags have Taryn down even more and we hit the chinlock. A back elbow drops Taryn for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down as the crowd isn’t all that interested. Taryn fires off some clotheslines and gets two off a clothesline. A middle rope clothesline puts Jackie down and a spear gets two more. Taryn misses a middle rope bulldog and Jackie dropkicks her down for the pin. Just go with it.

Rating: D. At the beginning of this show, we saw a video of the Taryn vs. Gail match and heard about how great it was. We then got a long video about their entire feud. Instead of having them meet in the main event, WE GET JACKIE FREAKING MOORE BECAUSE SHE’S LOUD AND WRESTLED MEN BEFORE AND THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE INTERESTING. The match sucked because Jackie Moore exists. Moving on.

Video on British Boot Camp to introduce us to the Blossom Twins.

Hannah Blossom is excited to be here even though her sister Holly is still in England.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Sojournor Bolt vs. Hannah Blossom

Hendrix was a Gut Check chick who got released, Bolt wrestled here for a bit a few years back and Blossom is a British blonde with a twin, both of whom wrestled in OVW for years before the Boot Camp show. Taeler looks great here. Before the match Bolt says since she’s been gone, no one has been bigger, better or blacker. Bolt and Hendrix tease an alliance as the fans chant USA.

We get a three way test of strength to start with Blossom getting double teamed. A double hiptoss puts Hannah down and the argument begins between the “friends”. Hannah rams their heads together to take over, only to have Bolt take her down and grab a leg lock. Hendrix adds a chinlock at the same time to make the Brit scream. Taeler takes off her skirt to reveal some shorts, making the crowd love her even more.

Hendrix and Bolt chop it out as Taz and Tenay make stupid Twitter jokes. Bolt is sent to the floor so Hannah can take over on Taeler. Bolt pulls Hendrix to the floor and hits a Death Valley Driver for two on Blossom. Taeler and Bolt get in a shouting match before Bolt holds Hannah, only to have Taeler run Bolt over. A bicycle kick from Hannah takes Taeler down for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a shame that Hendrix is gone as the fans were eating her up with a spoon here. Bolt was fine and could work well in TNA and Hannah looked WAY better than I remember her in OVW. This was one of the better matches tonight but again with just five minutes it didn’t have time to go anywhere. At least we saw the wedding though right?

Another music video on the Knockouts.

Jillian Hall vs. Velvet Sky

You probably remember Jillian from her bad singing schtick in WWE which may or may not have been a Brooke Hogan parody. Jillian does the singing bit here which stopped being funny years ago. The fans are entirely behind Velvet as she accuses Jillian of a hair pull. Some forearms stagger Jillian and she charges into a boot in the corner.

Velvet sends her into the buckle over and over and spanks her for good measure. A bulldog gets two on Jillian but she sends Velvet out to the floor. Sky is sent into the steps so Jillian can ram her head into the mat a few times. A backbreaker gets two on Velvet as Taz shouts about Jillian fooling him or some nonsense like that.

Off to an arm crank from Hall before she stomps on Velvet’s back a bit. Sky blocks a suplex and hits a kind of front DDT to put both girls down. Jillian takes over and pounds away but a clothesline is only good for two. Jillian’s handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll but Hall drops down into a rollup for two (think Bret vs. Owen at WM X). Not that it matters as Velvet wins with In Yo Face a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Jillian was always all looks/gimmick and nothing in the ring, which can probably be applied to Velvet as well. The match was nothing of note but Taz and Tenay’s idiotic talking brought it down even further. There was nothing going on here but at least we got to look at Velvet for a few minutes.

Video on Mickie James’ career in TNA, mainly focusing on beating Madison in a cage at Lockdown in about 30 seconds.

Serena vs. Mickie James

Serena is the chick who used to be in the Straightedge Society but now she has long hair which really works for her. I believe this is before Mickie’s heel turn. They hug it out and shake hands to start. Taz: “WHAT THE HECK IS THIS???” Serena takes her to the mat as Tenay and Taz talk about Lance Russell for no apparent reason. Mickie gets caught in a headscissors on the mat but she bounces out, giving the male fans some nice shots. After some nice mat work it’s off to a wristlock by Serena leading to a standoff.

They shake hands again as Taz loudly shouts HARDCORE COUNTRY over and over. Mickie rides Serena on the mat a bit and Serena can’t armdrag out of it. A Jackknife cover gets two for James and an Oklahoma Roll gets the same. Back up and Serena wants a test of strength but Mickie shouts that she has bigger hands than Serena. Mickie takes her down to the mat but Serena bridges up to take over. Now it’s James with a bridge which Serena can’t even break by bouncing down onto her.

Mickie fights up and hits a basement dropkick to send Serena to the floor as this is by far already the best match of the night so far. Back in and Serena offers another handshake but pulls Mickie into a headlock to take over. A back elbow sends Mickie to the floor just like she did to Serena a few seconds ago. Serena blasts Mickie in the face as she comes back in as we have our mid match heel turn. Mickie is slammed head first into the mat by the hair for two and Serena poses a lot.

We hit the chinlock as Taz scores the match for some reason. Back up and Serena misses a charge into the post and Mickie gets a needed breather. They slug it out with both girls throwing haymakers and Mickie taking over. A clothesline puts Deeb down and the top rope Thesz Press (minus the Press) sets up the MickieDT for the pin on Serena.

Rating: B-. This was much better than anything else we had seen so far tonight. Deeb clearly knows what she’s doing out there and the long hair makes her look better than she did bald. I liked the idea of her turning in the middle of the match as it gave the match a bit of a story. Good stuff here.

We recap the show so far to set up the gauntlet.

Gauntlet Match

So apparently it’s the usual Royal Rumble style until we get to the final two where it’s pin/submission for the win. All of the winners from earlier in the night are involved. Hannah Blossom and Gail Kim get us going for presumably two minutes. Gail goes right at Hannah to start and takes her down with a backbreaker. Some corner choking has the Brit in even more trouble as this is one sided so far. Hannah comes back with a quick suplex and an elbow drop for a cover before realizing how the rules work. Not that it matters as Gail knocks her to the apron and then the floor for the elimination.

Lei’D Tapa is #3 after about a minute and fifty seconds, though they probably sped it up for the sake of time. Either that or it’s an actual gauntlet with the next person coming in after an elimination. Gail pounds on her in the corner to start but Tapa comes back with some power choking and a big boot to the face. Tapa can’t get her out due to a rake of the eyes and here’s Tara at #4. Tara goes after Lei’D but can’t lift her up in a fireman’s carry. Tapa takes her over to the ropes but Gail makes the same and the two normal sized girls double team the monster.

Mickie is #5 as Tapa beats on both other girls. James fires off kicks in the corner to the big girl and the other two help her out, only to be shoved away by Tapa. Tenay makes Andre the Giant comparisons and Taz goes off on him for stupidity, despite the comparison making sense. In a bad looking botch, Mickie tries a hurricanrana on Tapa with the other girls helping, only to see Mickie fall to the floor as well. She gets back in and it’s never acknowledged but it looked horrible. Either way it eliminates Tapa as Tessmacher is in at #6.

Tessmacher goes after Tara as Mickie and Gail fight for the 1000th time. Gail is sent to the apron but gets back in as Tara sends Tessmacher to the apron for the same result. Jackie Moore is in at #7 to bring the match down a few pegs. Gail and Jackie stomp on Tessmacher and Mickie kicks at Tara in the corner. ODB is #8 as everyone is laying around. She and Jackie get into it almost immediately before ODB opts to spank Tara a bit. ODB takes a shot from the flash and spits it in Jackie’s face before eliminating her.

Velvet Sky is #8, giving us a final grouping of Gail, ODB, Tara, Mickie, Tessmacher and Sky. Everyone pairs off as this is in full on traditional battle royal formula. Tessmacher kicks Mickie to the apron but can’t get her any further than that. Velvet and ODB wind up on the apron and slug it out with Velvet knocking ODB to the floor for an elimination. Gail easily eliminates Velvet and we’re down to four.

Gail and Tara throw Tessmacher out before double teaming James in the corner. Tara turns on Gail and hits the fireman’s carry into the side slam, allowing Mickie to get back up and hammer on Tara a bit. Mickie throws Tara out to get us down to two, meaning it’s Gail vs. Mickie, first fall wins. Gail is in early trouble and gets caught by the Thesz Press for two. Gail blocks the MickieDT but gets slammed out of the corner, injuring her ankle in the process. Mickie totally falls for it as the trainer comes out, but it’s a ruse (SHOCKING!) as Gail rolls up Mickie with a handful of shorts for the pin and the Miss TNA crown.

Rating: D. This was every gauntlet match you’ve ever seen: slow for the most part with a few nice moments, but for the most part it’s paint by numbers stuff. The ending was nothing special as the “match” was about a minute long with over half of that being spent on the fake injury. Not much to see here but at least it was longer than anything else.

Post match Madison comes out to give Gail her crown. Gail makes Madison leave after being crowned to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem with the Knockouts in general and this show in particular: the roster is so thin that we’ve seen almost all of the main matches ad nauseum. At the time this show aired, I believe there are four or five active Knockouts. Other than Taryn (who lost to the great and mighty Jackie Moore), almost no one new has been added to the division in over a year. There’s just nothing in the division and the final group of people here were the same girls we’ve seen forever. TNA desperately needs to bring in some fresh blood and the Blossoms, Serena, Flash or Ivelisse would be great places to start.

The show was nothing great with most of the matches just not having the time they needed to go anywhere. Also, there was WAY too much filler. I get the idea of a video here or there, but airing the ENTIRE fifteen minute wedding segment plus a bunch of other videos on a two hour and forty minute show is ridiculous. Again, I’m sure you could find one other girl to bring in and make the triple threat a singles match and pad out the show much better. There’s just nothing to see here and the show felt like it was just trying to fill in time until it was over.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 11, 2013
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Destination X so tonight is going to be all about Sabin vs. Ray next week, which is going to be a decent match but will also have issues drawing in an audience. Other than that we’ve got the Aces and 8’s feuding with the Mafia and potentially having a fight tonight. Other than that it’s going to be all about next week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events with the focus on Sabin winning the title back.

Bully Ray rants about Brooke’s real life engagement, saying he isn’t ready for her to move on yet.

Here are the bikers to open the show. Ray’s first order of business is Chris Sabin, who now has the right to face him next week at Destination X. Later tonight Hogan is going to come out here and ask Sabin to hand over his title. Sabin needs to keep the title he has now because he wants no part of Bully Ray. As for the club business, the Aces and 8’s get to vote in a new vice president. Ray takes a thinly veiled jab at WWE’s fan polls by saying the fans have nothing to do with the pick. As for the Mafia’s challenge to a fight next week, absolutely not because the bikers fight on their own terms.

This brings out the Main Event Mafia with Sting and Angle in suits and the rest in wrestling gear. Angle says their challenge was specifically for that date because the Mafia could kill two birds with one stone. Next week they’re going to take out every member of the Aces and 8’s, leaving Bully alone to face Chris Sabin. Sting promises yet another new member of the Mafia tonight and that he’s a heavy hitter.

As for the BFG Series, tonight there are going to be three Joker’s Wild tag team matches with the six winners going on to a gauntlet where the winner receives 25 points.

Jeff Hardy/Joseph Park vs. AJ Styles/Samoa Joe

Park and Styles get things going with AJ easily taking him down. It’s quickly off to Hardy who hits the sitout front suplex for two and it’s off to Joe with a running elbow to Jeff’s face. The corner enziguri puts Jeff down and it’s back to AJ who puts on the Calf Killer, only to have Hardy make the save. Park gets to face Joe and the lawyer cleans house. It doesn’t last long though as Joe shoves him into the springboard forearm which knocks Park into the Koquina Clutch for the submission at 4:34.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere which is a shame given the talent in this one. Styles and Joe could have been a dream team if given the time together but they would have likely wound up feuding sooner than later. Park continues to just kind of float around at the moment as his development has stalled.

Mr. Anderson/Magnus vs. Jay Bradley/Hernandez

Anderson offers to start against Hernandez but he immediately tags out to Magnus. Bradley comes in as well and hits a nice jumping knee to the chest. Off to Hernandez who gets caught in a wristlock but Anderson won’t tag back in. Hernandez takes over on Magnus with a splash in the corner and the slingshot shoulder for two. Back to Bradley who charges into an elbow in the corner and gets taken down by a boot. Anderson still won’t tag but Bradley accidentally trips Hernandez, allowing Magnus to roll him up for the pin at 3:53.

Rating: D. Well this match happened. Bradley continues to be a screwup with potential while Hernandez continues to be a waste of oxygen. Magnus and Anderson having their issues was a logical story and it’s cool to see Magnus’ push to the stars continue. I’m just not sure where he’ll land in the whole thing.

Aries is annoyed that Roode didn’t help him last week. Roode wants to focus on the BFG Series when Bad Influence comes in. They’re the final four men for the Joker’s Wild stuff and they’re sure the teams will be as expected. Many jokes are cracked.

Christopher Daniels/Austin Aries vs. Kazarian/Bobby Roode

Aries starts with Kaz who go to a quick stalemate. Off to Daniels vs. Roode but Chris quickly brings in Aries for a showdown of partners. Roode sends Aries out to the floor as we take a quick break. Back with Kaz holding Aries in a cross arm choke followed by a clothesline to take Austin down.

The Fade to Black is escaped with a forearm and it’s a double tag to bring in Roode vs. Daniels. Aries tags himself in to break up the BME and lays out Roode with a missile dropkick, only to miss the corner dropkick. Kaz comes in with the slingshot DDT for two on Aries but Daniels makes the save. Kazarian has his eyes raked and rolls up Daniels for the blind pin at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This was a fun tag match but I’m not wild on the dissent between Bad Influence. We need a feud between these teams before the inevitable splits for the comedy of the promos alone. Still though, good match here with the ending being a creative way around screwing over your partner.

The Aces and 8’s are voting for the new VP.

Hulk comes in to see Brooke but Brooke doesn’t want to talk about Bully. She’s more interested in the Knockouts ladder match tonight. Hulk says take care of all your business tonight.

Doc and Anderson are the candidates for VP and Bully abstains from voting. They both vote for themselves, Brisco votes for Anderson, D-Von for Doc, Taz for Doc, Bischoff for Anderson, so it’s up to Knux for the deciding vote. He picks Anderson to give him the position. Doc isn’t pleased with Knux and glares a lot.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

This is a ladder match with the winner getting a title shot at some point in the future. Taryn throws her out to the ramp to start and spears her through the ropes for good measure. The first ladder is brought in and rammed into Gail’s ribs in the corner. Taryn dropkicks the top of the ladder to drive it further into the ribs as Taz is back on commentary. Gail’s cross body is kicked out of the air and the ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. Gail sends her into the side of the ladder to take over but can’t hook the figure four around the post.

Back from a break with both girls climbing and slugging it out on top. They both fall down and land on the ropes with the ladder nearly crushing Gail’s skull in the process. Taryn shoves the ladder face first into a charging Gail but her leg is tied up in the ladder. Taryn has to find a replacement but Gail gets up and climbs, only to be pulled back down by Terrell. The other ladder is bridged between the ropes and the standing ladder but Gail gets off before Taryn can crush her against the bridge.

Gail puts the figure four on Taryn inside the ladder but both of them climb up anyway. Taryn chokes Gail off the ladder and shoves her to the mat, but the knee won’t let her stand high enough. Instead Terrell dives off the ladder with a cross body and both girls are down again. They both climb onto the bridged ladder with Taryn being thrown to the mat again in a big thud. Terrell is up first and hooks a dragon sleeper, but Gail TIES TARYN’S HAIR AROUND THE ROPES. Gail climbs the ladder to get the shot at 15:10.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a creative ending. The match was so good that it makes me get over Gail getting ANOTHER title shot which I don’t think anyone wants to see. Taryn is showing good promise in the ring which goes along with her looks. I liked the last man standing match better but this was certainly good stuff.

Sting and Angle recap the BFG Series stuff from tonight and the fifth member calls.

Bound For Glory Series Gauntlet Match

AJ Styles, Bobby Roode, Kazarian, Samoa Joe, Magnus, Mr. Anderson

The winner gets 25 points. AJ starts with Magnus and we have two minutes before the next entrant. You can be eliminated over the top until we’re down to the final two where it’s pinfall/submission only. Feeling out process to start with both guys cranking on the arm. AJ hits a hard elbow to stun Magnus as Kaz is in at #3. A snap suplex by AJ sends Kaz into the middle rope but Styles can’t eliminate him. Joe is in at #4 as Taz complains about the Mafia having the fix in. Magnus and Joe double team Kaz before they split off to work on both guys. Kaz sends AJ to the apron but gets backdropped out at 5:27 and we take a break.

Back with Anderson already in and Bobby Roode coming in at #6 to complete the field. Magnus is sent to the apron but slides back in with ease. Roode powerslams AJ down and goes for the elimination but it’s Anderson with a running clothesline to eliminate Styles at 11:50. Magnus throws Roode to the apron but Bobby slides back in. Anderson and Joe eliminate each other at 12:50, leaving us with Roode vs. Magnus for the 25 points.

A jumping knee to the face puts Roode down but Magnus walks into the spinebuster for a close two. Roode hooks the Crossface but Magnus rolls over into a cradle for two. Magnus hooks the Cloverleaf on Roode but Bobby gets into the ropes. Roode loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to have Magnus miss the top rope elbow. Roode tries an O’Connor roll but Roode kicks him off and cradles the shoulders for the pin at 16:51.

Rating: C. The one on one part was good but the battle royal part was very uninteresting for the twelve minutes was had to sit through. Magnus’ Superman push is continuing but I can’t imagine him getting the world title shot at the biggest show of the year. Crimson was on fire like this last year and I don’t think he even wrestled at the PPV.

Here’s Hulk to accept Sabin’s title for the shot next week. Sabin talks about being a kid and watching Hogan dominate the world over the years. He heard a lot of people saying he couldn’t do this but now he’s proven them wrong. Sabin goes to hand the title to Hulk but is cut off by the world champ.

Ray says he and his wife has unfinished business, but it’s time to focus on Sabin. He says Sabin shouldn’t hand over the title because Ray is a bad person. There’s no way he could ever beat a man like Bully Ray and the beating next week will be one for the ages. Sabin says Ray should shut up because Sabin has pinned Ray before. It was him that pinned Ray in Team 3D’s retirement match and the only man to kick out of the 3D (in TNA that is).

Most of the time a guy like Ray is going to win but all Sabin has to do is win one time and that’s what he’s going to do next week. Next week it’ll be Sabin asking if people know who he is, and he’ll be the world champion. Sabin hands over the X title to make it official so Ray calls in the bikers. This brings out the Mafia and Sting reveals the newest member: Rampage Jackson. Ray is STUNNED to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was all about the future but it was still entertaining for the most part. Magnus was the star of the show and looked great in the process so points to TNA for trying someone new. The Sabin stuff was a nice push towards next week and the match should be fun. Couple all that with a very good ladder match and it’s hard not to like this show. TNA continues to be on a roll right now and this was another good episode.

Results

AJ Styles/Samoa Joe b. Joseph Park/Jeff Hardy – Koquina Clutch to Park

Magnus/Mr. Anderson b. Jay Bradley/Hernandez – Rollup to Hernandez

Kazarian/Bobby Roode b. Austin Aries/Christopher Daniels – Small Package to Daniels

Gail Kim b. Taryn Terrell – Kim pulled down the contract

Magnus won a gauntlet match last eliminating Bobby Roode

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 29, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the last show of the year and we have one more Impact after this before we get to Genesis. Unless my memory is off (and it very well may be), there are only two matches set: D-Von vs. Pope and the title match. There are a lot of other matches which you can pretty much assume but I don’t think they’ve been named yet. I’d expect a lot of that tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the Knockouts situation.

Gail and Madison come to the ring with the latter demanding Tara and Tessmacher get out here now. She says that she needs to get rid of the diseases that Tara and Tessmacher carry around with them. And they’re both fired. Cue Sting and Madison kind of panics. She says she has this under control but Sting says it’s not over until he says it’s over. Madison doesn’t have a legally binding contract like Karen had so she has no power. They get into a funny shouting contest and Gail has to defend against Mickie tonight.

Steiner tells Abyss that they’re the best team out there. Abyss agrees that they’re a team. Ok then.

Wildcard Tag Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Abyss/Scott Steiner vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian

Kaz vs. Steiner start us off but Scott yells at AJ before the match gets going. Nothing happens there so it’s off to the Grand Slam winners. AJ uses strikes and avoids the power. Steiner cheats a bit and Shock Treatment gets no cover on AJ. Steiner comes in and beats on AJ some more but AJ hits a Pele to counter.

Double tag brings in Kaz vs. Abyss in I guess a rematch from the X Title match earlier this year. Man that sounds like forever again. Kaz fires off whatever he can including a springboard tornado DDT for two. Chokeslam is countered into a victory roll for two. The second attempt at a chokeslam puts Kaz down and Abyss knocks AJ into the barricade. He brings in Steiner…and hits him with the Black Hole Slam to send the former Fourtune guys to the finals at 7:50.

Rating: C-. Not a bad tag match but I couldn’t get into it for the most part. Abyss turning on Steiner isn’t really all that shocking and it’s good to see a team that makes sense going to the finals of this thing, although I have a feeling the wacky team is going to wind up winning the thing, because that’s what TNA thinks is the right idea.

Ray comes out to yell at Abyss post match and we take a break.

Post break Ray yells at him and says he’s tired of Abyss being a bully to him and Steiner. Abyss grabs him by the throat and Ray asks him what it’ll take to get him back into Immortal. Abyss wants Ray one on one at Genesis. If Abyss loses, he’s back into Immortal. Ray goes to leave but Abyss stops him. The match is Monster’s Ball.

Sting is with Kurt in the back and they talk about the incident last week in Tennessee. It’s Angle vs. Storm at the PPV and Kurt is getting a tuneup match tonight. It’s with RVD.

Flair and Gunner say Gunner will be great. Gunner is in action later tonight. Flair looks really old. Gunner is looking to put someone in an ambulance tonight.

Anthony Nese vs. Zema Ion

It’s the final match in the series and it’s contract on a pole. Well what else would it be? Aries is in on commentary here. The winner of this joins Aries, Kash and Sorensen. According to Aries, Ion has pole experience while being an exotic dancer. Both guys tease going for the pole but it turns into your regular “I go for the pole, you stop me then you go for the pole and I stop you.”

They go to the floor where Nese takes over. Nese goes for the contract but Ion saves. Ion goes for the contract but Nese saves. Nese hits a German off the top but hangs himself in the Tree of Woe. He goes for the contract again but gets shoved into the barricade. And then Ion gets the contract at 4:33.

Rating: D+. Ok then. I mean really, ok then, let’s go to the next match. There’s nothing interesting here at all and now we have a new challenger. There’s nothing different about these two other than Ion has messier hair. The matches were ok and that’s about it. I don’t know what the point of this being a series but whatever.

Gunner vs. Douglas Williams

Total dominance for awhile by Gunner and then they go to the floor. Gunner shoves the referee and it’s a DQ at 1:38.

Williams takes the DDT on the concrete post match.

Roode’s family still doesn’t like him.

Here’s Roode who says it’s no shock that he’s selfish. His friends and family have all turned their backs on him, but tonight he’s brought one of his friends here. This name is Tracy and they’ve been friends for over twenty years. Tracy stands up and gets an ovation for some reason. Roode apologizes for not answering his calls and texts lately. Tracy has been brought here tonight to say whatever he wants.

He talks about how everyone is missing him and wondering where Roode has been. His wife wants to know where he is and his kids want to know why Tracy is driving them to hockey practice. Bobby can still come home. Roode says that back in high school, Tracy was his lackey. Roode says his family’s fifteen minutes of fame are up and goes to leave, then he beats Tracy up. Jeff runs out for the save.

Eric and ODB have more “comedy”.

Angle rants about facing RVD later tonight.

Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Magnus/Samoa Joe vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with Tenay on the way to the ring. See it’s funny. Eric and Magnus start but ODB comes in before there’s any contact. There’s no contact as both circle the other in a flirty manner. Tag off to Eric who strips and comes in. Remember when Joe says Eric was all awesome at Turning Point 07? I don’t think this is what he intended. Joe comes in and has a decent mini-match with Eric. ODB gets launched to the floor and the MuscleBuster sends Joe and Magnus to the finals at 5:14.

Rating: D+. The comedy here wasn’t funny, but it’s Eric Young who does the same nonsense every week. To be fair though, the guy can’t get over without a CRAZY comedy gimmick so he has to do this. Not much here and I have a feeling the random pairing will beat the normal team to get the shot because that’s how TNA works. Nowhere near as bad as it could be though so it’s not much of a complaint.

Mickie says the title match will be interesting.

Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam

So the girls are main eventing? Ok then. Basic stuff to start as neither guy has much of an advantage so far. Rob kicks a lot and hits Rolling Thunder for two. Kurt snaps off a belly to belly for the same and a regular suplex gets two also. After a quick chinlock Van Dam takes over again with some clotheslines. Kurt gets in a shot and tries a superkick but Van Dam takes him down. Five Star misses and there’s the ankle lock. And here’s Storm to superkick Angle for the DQ at 5:17.

Rating: C-. Nothing special at all here but the ending was something that needed to happen. That’s going to be a great match once it happens at Genesis and I can live with Storm losing if they have a third match. Not bad here but they needed a few more minutes to get something special going, which to be fair wasn’t the idea here.

RVD isn’t thrilled with Storm coming out there.

Angle isn’t either.

Storm says he’s coming for Angle.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Gail Kim

Mickie grabs a rollup for two almost immediately. Thesz Press hits and Mickie takes over. Mickie sends her to the floor but misses a baseball slide. A neckbreaker hits though and we take a break. Back with a slugout on the floor won by Gail as they go back into the ring. Gail grabs the arm for some cranking.

Mickie fights back but Gail hooks Inoki’s Octopus Hold. I can’t say I’m complaining about the visual. Mickie rolls into the ropes so Gail tries it again but it doesn’t work as well this time. Ok so maybe it does. After she gets done with that, a missile dropkick gets two for the champ. Eat Defeat is countered and Mickie hits a kick of her own to put both chicks down. Mickie makes her comeback and goes up but Gail heads to the floor. Mickie tries a Thesz Press to the floor but leaves it short so it doesn’t look that great. Her knee is hurt so a masked chick runs in, hits the Rayne Drop on Mickie and Gail get the pin at 14:17.

Rating: C. FAR better Knockout match than the Knockouts or Divas have done lately but still nothing all that great. I’ll give them points for having something else in the main event but the ending kind of sucked, especially given what’s shown post match. Not sure why they went with this to end the year but whatever.

Post match, yep that’s Madison with facepaint.

Overall Rating: C-. I won’t say the show was bad tonight, but it didn’t click for me. Things ran well and the storylines are pretty logical, but for the most part they’re not grabbing me which is probably more preference than anything else. The problem is mainly on top as Roode still comes off as a midcard guy in the main event. Not bad, but not something I was able to get into.

Results
Kazarian/AJ Styles b. Abyss/Scott Steiner – Kazarian b. Steiner after a Black Hole Slam from Abyss
Zema Ion b. Anthony Nese – Ion grabbed the contract
Douglas Williams b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. ODB/Eric Young – MuscleBuster to Young
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Pin after a Rayne Drop from Madison Rayne

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall