Impact Wrestling – September 7, 2017: What’s Spanish For Shut Up About AAA?
Impact Wrestling Date: September 7, 2017 Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
As the company tries to go a week without some kind of controversy, here we are with more continuing adventures of a bunch of MMA fighters. That’s the top story at the moment as American Top Team and Bobby Lashley continue to dominate the show, which seems to be setting up a big deal at Bound For Glory. In actual wrestling news, tonight Eli Drake defends the World Title against Matt Sydal. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams
Dutt armbars Konley to start before it’s off to Petey to speed things up. As assisted Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Konley as everything breaks down early on. The villains are put in the Tree of Woe with Petey standing on both of them and singing O Canada. Petey gets caught in the wrong corner for some double teaming, only to slip away for the hot tag to Dutt a few seconds later.
The tornado DDT gets two on Konley and everything breaks down again. Another tornado DDT (this time with Petey being used as a launching pad) puts Konley down again (bad night for his head) and there’s the Canadian Destroyer. Dutt’s top rope splash puts him away at 7:24.
Rating: C+. Just four guys doing moves to each other but at least it was energetic. The division really isn’t the best in the world right now and having someone like Williams, who was a star nearly fifteen years ago, isn’t the best course of action. Granted the whole thing has been a mess for years now so this is hardly anything new. Nice opener though.
LAX vs. John Bolin/Zachary Wentz
Non-title. The jobbers get stomped down in the corner as OVE is watching from the back. Bolin gets caught in a hanging Stunner/bicycle kick combination, only to have Wentz thrown onto him. The Street Sweeper ends Zachary at 1:37. Total squash.
Post match OVE comes out to challenge for the titles but Konnan says they’ll do it in the Crash. That’s cool with the brothers.
Taryn Terrell/Sienna vs. Gail Kim/Allie
Gail goes after Taryn to start but settles for some clotheslines on Sienna. A flapjack cuts Gail off though and it’s Taryn coming in for a few cheap shots before handing it right back to Sienna. Taryn’s running flip neckbreaker keeps Gail in trouble but she hurricanranas Sienna down and brings in Allie to clean house. Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Sienna as Braxton Sutter and KM brawl to the back. Allie goes up for a high crossbody but Sienna rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 4:24.
Rating: D+. I feel so sorry for Sienna. She’s done what she can but as always, the division belongs to Gail and whomever she’s feuding with because this company is obsessed with pushing her through the roof. Even Roman Reigns probably thinks the push is a bit too much. Hopefully they don’t give her the title as a retirement present as she never needs to be near the thing again.
Post match Allie gets beaten down until Rosemary comes out for the save. Cue the debuting Taya Valkyrie for quite the impressive entrance. Taya gets in Sienna’s face but knocks Rosemary down instead, setting up a double chickenwing faceplant. You can probably book the six Knockouts tag already.
Eli Drake is ready for Matt Sydal.
Here’s Jim Cornette for a chat. Jim praises some of the talent including Johnny Impact before hyping up the main event. Cornette would put his money on Sydal but here’s Impact to interrupt. Impact gets straight to the point: he wants the winner of tonight’s match. This brings out LAX with Low Ki leading the way.
Cornette doesn’t think five against one is a good thing but Konnan gets in Johnny’s face to say Impact’s opinion doesn’t mean anything. What’s up with Konnan overlooking Low Ki for a title shot? Cornette says it has nothing to do with them being Latino and Low Ki is in line just like everyone else. The brawl is on with Johnny holding his own until security breaks it up.
Post break Cornette makes Impact vs. Low Ki for the #1 contendership.
Joseph Park tells Grado that there’s a big problem with Laurel Van Ness being Canadian. Grado hugs Laurel but the wedding is off. He tells her not to cry but Laurel seems to snap again, despite Grado’s high five.
Video on GFW’s involvement in TripleMania. There’s a focus on Lashley and Moose appearing in a battle royal. It was actually a team battle royal and their partner, Jeff Jarrett, isn’t mentioned at all. Moose eliminated Bobby and tensions ran high.
Video on Johnny Impact being so dominant in AAA, where he’s a triple champion. Impact successfully defended his titles in a three way ladder match and says his gold means more than Drake’s.
Video on the Sexy Star/Rosemary incident from TripleMania as we hit twenty minutes of packages on the show. Sexy Star was never mentioned.
Video on how important the talent relationship between the companies is.
Next week it’s OVE vs. LAX for the titles from Tijuana.
Video on Dezmond Xavier, who credits his military training with getting him into wrestling.
Pagano is coming.
Eddie Edwards is the first American to win the GHC (Pro Wrestling Noah from Japan) Title.
Video on Garza Jr.
Richard Justice is still exercising after being hurt last week.
Matt Sydal is ready to win the title in what is his official cash-in for beating Lashley.
GFW World Title: Eli Drake vs. Matt Sydal
Drake is defending and shoves him around to start but Sydal doesn’t seem too shaken. Some kicks to the leg set up la majistral for two on Drake as we talk about TripleMania some more. The champ hammers away to take over again as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far. A pop up Big Ending (with Sydal flipping backwards to land on his back instead of his stomach) gets two and we take a break.
Back with Drake elbowing him in the chest and hitting a powerslam. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Drake’s jumping neckbreaker gets two more. Drake gets posted though and Sydal scores with some chops for a breather. Eli stomps him right back down and grabs a DDT for two.
A kneedrop only hits mat though and Sydal hits a backdrop to put both guys down. Matt’s standing moonsault gets two and an ELI SUCKS chant starts up. The top rope double knees put Drake down for two so Adonis throws in the title. Sydal gets in a jumping knee to the face for another near fall. The shooting star is loaded up but Adonis offers a distraction, setting up a belt shot to the head. Drake adds the Gravy Train to retain the title at 19:28.
Rating: C-. The ending was better but it wasn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Drake getting a title defense under his belt helps though and this felt like a big enough deal. Adonis is fine in his role too and works as some extra muscle. Also, it’s nice to have the main event finish without the MMA guys coming in to take all the attention.
Overall Rating: C. This show was rolling along until it hit the wall that was the TripleMania stuff. That was literally over twenty minutes of just talking about a show where the GFW talents were supporting players, save for Impact. If you cut that WAY down and focus on other stuff that actually deserves some attention (assuming the promotion actually has that), this is a much better show. The fast paced first forty five minutes are good but outside of that, the show fell apart.
Results
Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee – Top rope splash to Konley
LAX b. John Bolin/Zachary Wentz – Street Sweeper to Wentz
Sienna/Taryn Terrell b. Allie/Gail Kim – Reversed crossbody with a handful of tights
Eli Drake b. Matt Sydal – Gravy Train
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Impact Wrestling – August 17, 2017 (Destination X): Enjoy It While It Lasts
Impact Wrestling Date: August 17, 2017 Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
It’s a big night around here as we have Destination X. This show is almost all about the X-Division, but it turns out that we also need a new World Champion. Alberto El Patron is still suspended and has now been stripped of the title. The situation will be handled tonight but we have no idea how. Let’s get to it.
Bobby Lashley and American Top Team (MMA camp) arrive with the leader meeting with Jeff Jarrett.
A video recaps the card.
Opening sequence.
McKenzie Mitchell can’t get an interview with Bruce Prichard but did see someone shocking in his office. Naturally she can’t say who that was but she did see someone.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Sienna
Kim is challenging and the ropes are now green. They look like the tubes of mutagen on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Gail grabs a crucifix to start until they head outside with Sienna dropping her onto the steps. Back in and Sienna knees her down for two, followed by a backbreaker into a fall away slam. A superplex is countered into a sunset bomb to kickstart Kim’s comeback, including a crossbody for two. The AK47 doesn’t work but Gail grabs Eat Defeat, which draws KM onto the apron. Gail forearms him to the floor but here’s the returning Taryn Terrell with a cutter to lay Gail out. Now the AK47 can retain the title at 7:02.
Rating: C-. Better than I was expecting here but I don’t buy for a second that this is it for Kim. This seems to be looking towards Gail winning the title and retiring at Bound For Glory because that’s what someone of her magnitude gets to be awarded. The match wasn’t bad and Taryn being back is a very welcome surprise.
Matt Sydal is ready to show what he can really do because he moves at hyper speed and sees in slow motion.
Here’s Bruce Prichard with the new World Title to announce that Alberto El Patron has vacated the title and wishes him the best in his future endeavors (without ever saying he was released or fired etc.). As head corporate adviser, it turns out that Bruce can return the title to any former champion he wishes. Therefore he’ll give it to Bobby Lashley, but here’s Jim Cornette of all people instead. He and Bruce have a short chat (with Bruce mentioning double cheeseburgers at Dairy Queen to silence) but Cornette has a bit of a surprise.
See, Anthem has a lot of interests but doesn’t know much about wrestling. Therefore, he’s been brought in to take care of some of those issues. Bruce calls security on him but Cornette goes on a rant (I’m as shocked as you are) and yells at Bruce for overstepping his bounds and driving everyone crazy.
Therefore, Bruce is fired and security takes him away. Cornette sets the record straight: Alberto didn’t vacate the title because he was stripped of it. We’re not going to have big stars come in here and say they’re on vacation while being handed things. Instead they’re going to have to fight to earn things or deal with him. Next week we’ll be having a twenty man Gauntlet for the Gold to crown a new World Champion.
Cornette goes to leave but here’s LAX to interrupt. After a break, Konnan says Low Ki should be the #1 and facing the winner of that gauntlet match. Cornette doesn’t agree because he may be a cracker (which Konnan had called him) but he’s not a liar. Low Ki says he smells fear on Cornette but Cornette says Low Ki can be #20 in the gauntlet. Konnan isn’t scared of legal threats and threatens violence. Cornette doesn’t seem to care and leaves.
Super X Cup Finals: Taiji Ishimori vs. Dezmond Xavier
They speed things up to start with neither being able to hit much until Xavier nails a dropkick. Ishimori sends him outside without too much effort though and things slow down a bit. Back in and a gutbuster puts Xavier down as Josh talks about the upcoming GFW Network streaming service. After a waistlock keeps Xavier in trouble, Ishimori hits a springboard seated senton, followed by some double knees to the chest. Xavier is right back up but his hurricanrana is countered into a faceplant. The 450 gives Ishimori two so Xavier enziguris him into the corner, followed by a moonsault Pele for the pin at 5:30.
Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? After hearing about how AMAZING this tournament was for over a month, the finals don’t even go six minutes? This was an amazingly disappointing and completely unnecessary tournament, which really doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Xavier is a good choice to win the tournament but he beat a bunch of people who mean nothing in this promotion. Ishimori never showed me much, though it’s not like he was given the chance in the first place.
Xavier says this means a lot but he’s coming for the X-Division Title.
Bruce and Karen Jarrett shout at each other a lot in a story that hasn’t been explained and no one cares about. Basically Karen is glad to see him gone and is glad he’s out.
Grado’s visa has expired and he has to leave. Joseph Park says he won’t let Grado go out like a mark because he’ll get to say his goodbye in the ring next week.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt
Ladder match with Dutt defending. Sonjay sends him outside in a hurry before grabbing a hurricanrana back inside. Lee gets in a ladder to the ribs to take over and sends the ladder inside. Something like a suplex drops Sonjay back first onto the ladder and we take an early break. Back with Lee loading up the ladder for the slow climb, allowing Sonjay to make the save.
Lee takes him down again and brings in a table, because that’s likely to help him climb a ladder you see. The delay lets Dutt kick him down and put Lee on the table, only to get crotched on top. A hard forearm puts him outside and the announcers recap things instead of talking about the match.
Lee bridges a ladder between the ropes and the standing ladder but Sonjay takes him down again. A springboard splash onto Lee onto the ladder allows Dutt to climb but here’s Caleb Konley to powerbomb Dutt through the table. Cue Petey Williams of all people with a Canadian Destroyer on Konley to put everyone down. Dutt springboards up onto the ladder, knocks Lee down, and retains at 16:03.
Rating: B-. Best match of the night by far with the right ending. Dutt has barely been able to have the title after this whole thing with Bruce allowing Lee to hold the title as long as he did. Williams returning is a nice moment for older fans but I’m not sure how much it does for the modern audience. Good match, though nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times in ladder matches.
Lashley knows his opponent’s name: Loser.
Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz vs. OVE
OVE is Ohio vs. Everything, better known as the Crist Brothers or the Irish Airborne. Wentz knees Jake in the face to start but he charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Dave for a knee to the head, followed a superkick to knock Cade out of the air. A spinning kick to the head sets up a running kick to the leg/running kick to the knee combo (something like High/Low) for the pin on Cade at 2:12. Not the best debut but I’ve seen worse.
Eli Drake, Chris Adonis, Moose and Ethan Carter III annoy Cornette and get put in the gauntlet with Drake going in at #1.
Video on Lashley vs. Sydal with the winner getting a shot at whatever title he wants.
Matt Sydal vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley runs him over to start with a shoulder sending Matt outside. A kick to the head staffers Lashley but he comes right back with a crossbody for two. Sydal can’t hit a pop up hurricanrana and gets thrown outside again as we take a break. Back with Lashley destroying Sydal as the announcers brag about Lashley’s MMA teammates, which really just makes me want to watch UFC.
We hit the face ripping for a bit, followed by a delayed vertical suplex. Lashley misses the spear though and a spinwheel kick puts him down. A tornado DDT drops Lashley again but he breaks up the shooting star. The top rope double knees get two on Lashley but his powerslam gets the same. The Dominator gets two more and it’s chair time. That means a Van Daminator to put Lashley down, which somehow isn’t a DQ. Sydal’s shooting star hits knees but the spear hits post, allowing Sydal to grab a rollup for the pin at 14:50.
Rating: C+. Lashley is a great monster heel but it seems like he loses far more than not lately. Sydal winning is the right call and there’s no reason not to put the X-Division Title on him (unless you do the smart thing by moving him towards the main event scene, even if it would prove that the X-Division means nothing). Lashley will be fine with whatever he does of course and I’m sure he’ll be a force in next week’s gauntlet.
Post match one of the MMA fighters chokes the referee until his teammates break it up.
Johnny Impact (Morrison/Mundo/Hennigan) is here next week. He even mentions all of the titles he currently holds.
Overall Rating: B-. There are still some big problems but this was light years better than the previous shows. While I’m not exactly sold on the idea that everything is better (this company has a long history of starting great and then faltering in a hurry), this was a major improvement and an entertaining show. In other words, once you get to the end of the stories instead of dragging them out forever, things get a lot better. Or maybe it’s a lack of focus on Alberto vs. LAX in the least interesting feud of the year. Anyway, good show tonight and I’m interested in the title match next week.
Above all else though, this show felt like it was changing a lot of the stuff that didn’t work. Prichard was one of the worst on screen authority figures I can remember in a long time and Cornette is a major upgrade. He’s much more well known and a far better talker, though you can expect him to blow up and leave in a matter of weeks. The wrestling was better and some of the bigger names being brought in help. I have no confidence in it lasting but it’s a good sign that a lot of the bad stuff is gone and they went with some stuff that worked.
Results
Sienna b. Gail Kim – AK47
Dezmond Xavier b. Taiji Ishimori – Moonsault Pele
Sonjay Dutt b. Trevor Lee – Dutt pulled down the title
OVE b. Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz – Kick to the head/kick to the leg combination
Matt Sydal b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Impact Wrestling – December 22, 2016 (Best of 2016): This is TNA’s New Low
Impact Wrestling Date: December 22, 2016
Host: Josh Matthews
This is a special show as it’s the Best of 2016. That means a lot of copying and pasting from me as I’m not about to rewatch a lot of these matches, especially when they’re likely going to be clipped to death. I’ll be posting the full versions of the matches instead of whatever hacked up versions that air on the broadcast, assuming we get more than just a few clips. Let’s get to it.
We open with about two minutes of the main event of Slammiversary 2016 with Lashley winning the World Title from Drew Galloway, five minutes of Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards from Impact, July 21 and four minutes of Lashley vs. James Storm from August 11. Lashley won all three matches.
Now we’ll go to January 5 for a few seconds of Kurt Angle’s retirement speech. Angle wants to go out on a high note, including a match against Drew Galloway.
Here’s a clip from that match, which aired on January 12. Angle won by submission and again we only get about a minute and a half.
On March 1, Angle beat Bobby Roode. I know it sounds like I’m flying through this but it’s really just the beginning and ending of each match. We’re twenty minutes into the show and we’ve covered five matches with a commercial in the middle.
On March 8, Angle gave his farewell speech where he talked about how much better of a person he is because of TNA.
On March 15, Drew Galloway cashed in his Feast or Fired briefcase to win the World Title from Matt Hardy in 18 seconds.
On March 28, Drew defended the title against Jeff Hardy. This actually gets more than two minutes so I’ll throw in the full match.
TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Jeff Hardy
Hardy is challenging and gets a headlock takeover out of the corner to take over early. Drew comes back with an overhead belly to belly and Hardy is already in trouble. The champ is sent outside for a dive from Hardy and we take a break. Back with Jeff getting two off a Twist of Fate but taking too much time going up and getting superplexed down.
The Claymore gets two and they head up top for what looked to be a super powerslam from Drew but Jeff reverses into something like a hiptoss. That looked to be a bit botched but it was good enough. Another Twist and the Swanton get two on Drew so Jeff sends it outside and puts Drew on the steps. The Swanton hits knees though and it’s a quick Futureshock to give Drew the pin at 14:18.
Rating: B-. Another pretty good main event here with Jeff being a good first victory for Drew, but they certainly didn’t hit a special level. It’s good that they’re getting Jeff out of the way early though as he’s one of those guys who is always going to be near the top of the roster so thankfully Drew can focus on someone new.
On April 5, Drew successfully defended the title against Matt Hardy.
We get the full Gail Kim Hall of Fame video. Somehow they STILL have the error in there about her holding the title for five reigns (when it was produced) for 232 days. In reality the fifth reign alone was 232 days and she’s held the title over 700 days combined.
We see some of her acceptance speech and about 45 seconds of her winning the Knockouts Title for s sixth time at Bound For Glory.
Since giving them their own show next week (and last week), it’s time to look at the Hardys. We’ll start with Matt vs. Ethan Carter III at Lockdown with Matt defending the World Title.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy
Hardy is defending. Ethan draws a line on the mat and it’s time to slug it out. Matt’s chops don’t have much effect but Ethan’s splash hits the cage. It’s time for a chair with Matt getting in some good shots, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up as Matt is sent head first into the chair in the corner. Another Twist is broken up so Matt settles for the Side Effect and a two count.
The champ grabs a chain but walks into a TK3 (TKO) to give Ethan a chance. Tyrus blocks the way so Ethan flips him off, drawing the big man in. Ethan runs the ropes and has a free chance to get out but opts to clothesline Tyrus instead. A Big Ending drops Carter but he’s still able to reverse an attempt at being chained to the cage. Instead it’s Tyrus being chained up but Matt grabs a Twist of Fate for two.
Carter is back up in time to pull Matt off the cage to put both guys down. Matt is up first and hits a low blow, setting up a Twist of Fate with Ethan’s neck in a chair. Of course that’s not enough to finish it so Ethan kicks Matt low to even things up. A slow double crawl towards the door draws out Reby with a hammer but Spud comes out for the save. Then, in the swerve that isn’t a swerve, Spud slams the door on Carter’s head to turn heel and help Matt get out to retain at 11:39.
Rating: C-. The match was fine but it’s ANOTHER heel turn as Matt has to get another minion because he’s this iconic power or whatever line TNA is pushing this week. I do however like the fact that Spud didn’t just align with Carter again because Ethan turned. That’s some nice continuity, but sweet goodness I’m tired of these big heel turns when there are already about four faces on the roster as it is.
With no transition from normal Matt to Broken Matt, here’s the Final Deletion.
Next up, it’s the Great War from Bound For Glory.
Now we look at some debuts, including Mike Bennett/Maria, Aron Rex, Moose, Cody and Brandi Rhodes. We see clips of Bennett defeating Ethan Carter III and the fairly bad mixed tag with Cody/Rhodes vs. Mike/Maria.
Off to the tag teams now as we see Decay beat Beer Money to win the Tag Team Titles on April 26.
We’ll keep up the Decay theme as Rosemary beats Jade to win the vacant Knockouts Title on December 1.
Due to Lashley vacating the X-Division Title, there was an Ultimate X gauntlet held on September 1 and we actually see a good chunk of it.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud
The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.
A knee to DJZ’s head knocks him silly but here’s Mandrews to break up the title grab attempt. Mandrews gets thrown off the top though and we take a break. Back with a replay package of what we saw before the commercial instead of what we missed. Braxton Sutter entered during the break and here’s Rockstar Spud to complete the field but it’s still too early to get the title with Sutter making the save.
We hit the big streak of dives before people get back in, only to be thrown out or knocked down seconds later. There’s nothing to talk about here as it’s just one move or spot after another with nothing in between. Spud uses a chair to knock Sutter off the cables but it’s the Helms Dynasty going up and grabbing the title at at the same time. No one comes down with it though so DJZ springboards in and pulls the title down to win at 16:23.
Rating: C+. I’m sure this is the revitalization that the X-Division has been needing for years now and that this will be different than the other half dozen times they’ve promised it’s not going to be left by the wayside again. The same problems they always have still apply here: no characters, no storylines other than they all want the title and get thrown together into one match and nothing we haven’t seen before. Fix some of those things and give us an actual story and the division might go somewhere.
On October 6, Lashley chose Eddie Edwards for a World Title shot and we’re graced with the last eight seconds.
We wrap it up with clips from Lashley vs. Edwards II on November 3. I’ll throw this one in even though we get less than a third of the match.
TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley
Lashley is challenging. We get the Big Match Intros with JB calling this the super fight. I’ll give TNA this: they do a solid job of making the big matches feel important. Or maybe it’s that JB is really good at his job(s). The bell rings after the break (thank goodness) and Lashley throws the champ around before elbowing him in the face.
They head outside with Eddie chopping him up against the barricade but getting dropped throat first across the steel. Some choking with a wristband takes us to the last break. Back with Lashley in full control with a chinlock and a knee to the face. The champ fights back and sends Lashley outside for a suicide dive.
A Shining Wizard gets two on Lashley, who comes right back with a Dominator for the same. They head outside for a few moments before Eddie misses a top rope double stomp. Lashley pulls the referee in the way and then hits the spear for two, earning the second referee a right hand to the face. The first referee goes to call for the DQ but the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the fast counted pin at 18:53.
Rating: B. This was more long than good and really illustrated the problem with a lot of TNA: I like Eddie but he’s really just a person who happens to be champion. Lashley is a big dragon for Eddie to slay and that’s what he’s done twice now. I don’t feel any connection to either of them and it’s much more like I’m just on the outside watching something happen.
Overall Rating: D. TNA just managed to screw up a Best Of show. Based off this, I have almost no idea what’s going on in TNA but I know I need a chart to keep track of it all. This felt like taking a guided tour in a bus that was driving 80 miles an hour with the guide shouting various things you can see.
We didn’t see a single match in full and most of the clips showed the opening and the last few seconds. I’d much rather see some full matches (or promos) than cover so much stuff and get nothing out of it. Also, did we really need the Hardys section when two out of three FULL SHOWS will be about them? I can’t even be surprised by this but it was somehow one of the worst executed things TNA has done all year. Just air a Top Ten list or something like that instead of trying to cram in every single thing into two hours. Total mess here.
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Impact Wrestling – December 1, 2016: Old People Rule
Impact Wrestling Date: December 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re down to two regular shows left in the year and the big story tonight is the crowning of a new Knockouts Champion as Gail Kim has vacated the belt due to injury. That leaves Jade and Rosemary inside Six Sides of Steel for the title because it’s not like they have any better options at the moment. Let’s get to it.
We open with a DCC video as they’re focusing on the Hardys. Matt is back to help his brother tonight thanks to a well placed bolt of lightning.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Moose
Rex is defending in an open challenge. Rex: “NO! HIT GRADO’S MUSIC!” We have to wait a minute though as Rex wants to do his warmups. That’s followed by a trip to the floor for a cartwheel from the champ. Back in and Rex rakes the eyes to set up the ring punch, only to walk into the Game Changer to give Moose the title at 1:45.
Moose says he’ll defend against anyone. Rex on the other hand has nothing to say but seems to be crying.
Jeff Hardy arrives and doesn’t know which Matt we’ll be seeing tonight. They’ll have a plan in the title match though.
Here’s the DCC to say they don’t want to delete anyone but they want to erase things. Cue Jeff to say the DCC has no idea what they’re getting themselves into. The beatdown is quickly on and….the DCC video comes on again. The lights go out and Matt returns for the save. Deletion is guaranteed.
Go For Broke is ready to fight each other for the X-Division Title. It’s a challenge for DJZ because his friends know him better than anyone else.
X-Division Title: Braxton Sutter vs. Mandrews vs. DJZ
DJZ is defending and this is one fall to a finish after Go For Broke won last week’s three way tag. They trade rollups to start in that three way style where it’s clear that this has all been choreographed in the first place. Mandrews suplexes the champ down and gets two off a standing moonsault. Another moonsault off the steps takes down Sutter and DJZ but it’s time for the “fun” part with the skateboard.
DJZ elbows him in the face but tweaks his knee back inside. That goes nowhere as DJZ high crossbodies both challengers, only to have Sutter snap off a Flatliner. Mandrews uses a twisting Stunner to get out of a suplex but as soon as he hits the shooting star, DJZ pops back up with a rollup to retain at 5:58.
Rating: C. Another meaningless X-Division match with the whole “we just know each other so well” idea going nowhere. The lack of story continues to destroy this division, but some of that has to do with Mandrews being really uninteresting. Yeah he can do shooting stars and moonsaults. That’s nowhere near enough to make him a complete character but you take what you can get around here.
They pose together but Mandrews goes heel by kicking DJZ’s bad knee out. Mandrews is the least interesting of the three but this is in fact better than nothing.
Laurel Van Ness says that she can make Braxton feel better but Allie wonders why she never sees Laurel and Braxton together.
Here are Maria and Laurel to vent some frustration. Maria gets right to the point by calling Allie out and demanding an apology. Allie is sorry she hit Maria with a pumpkin pie but Maria wants to talk about Allie costing her the title at Bound For Glory. It’s because Allie believes in honesty so Laurel goes on about what she did with Braxton last night. Maria calls Allie stupid and gets slapped in the face, making this the third time Allie has stood up to her. Laurel beats Allie down and AGAIN we haven’t really done anything new in this story.
Rosemary is ready for the cage match.
Tag Team Titles: DCC vs. Hardys
Bram and Kingston are challenging and the champs take over early on with a pair of double suplexes. Things settle down with Bram getting beaten up in the corner, followed by a chinlock from Jeff. You don’t often see that from a face but TNA has never been your normal promotion. Double Poetry in Motion gets two on Bram and we take a break. Back with the DCC working over Matt in the corner until Bram charges into a boot.
The hot tag brings in Jeff but Storm hits him with a belt, meaning the heel beatdown starts up again. Kingston grabs a chinlock and runs Jeff over with a shoulder as this just keeps going. Bram spins out of the Twist of Fate and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The real hot tag brings Matt back in and it’s time to bite Kingston’s arm and hand. Bram breaks up the Twist of Fate so Kingston takes it instead, allowing Matt to retain the titles at 15:54.
Rating: C+. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the Hardys are great when they’re out in their own universe but they’re just boring in the ring. Both guys look old and tired in their matches but at least they’re trying. The bigger story here though is the DCC losing already, which makes me think that it’s yet another stable that isn’t going to live up to its potential because TNA would rather push Matt and Jeff even more.
We recap Gail Kim being attacked, forcing her to vacate the title. If she wasn’t hurt during the Bound For Glory match, I really don’t know of a reason why she needed to get the title at the pay per view.
Ethan Carter III mocks Eli Drake for not being able to talk. When Ethan gets the title back next week, all Eli has to do is say the word and he can have a shot.
Al Snow gives a really intense speech about giving the Tribunal what they have coming to them. This is one of the best things on the show but again, WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT AL SNOW???
Ethan Carter III comes to the ring and has some words for World Champion Eddie Edwards. This brings out the champ to see him face to face with Ethan talking about how much that title changes people. Carter has failed to capture the title twice this year but he won’t fail a third time. Eddie knows the kind of man Carter is but Ethan says that when a title is involved, his mindset is kill em all and let God sort it out. Well that intensified quickly.
Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jade
Inside Six Sides of Steel with the title vacant coming in and Madison Rayne on commentary. Oh and Gail Kim is outside because we just need her presence. You can only win by pinfall or submission so Rosemary knocks Jade to the floor right after the bell. Rosemary throws a trashcan inside but gets knocked down as we take a break.
Back with Rosemary sending Jade into the cage and yelling at Gail for selecting Jade as the future of the division. Jade is thrown into the cage wall again but comes back with a top rope hurricanrana for her first real offense. A powerbomb gets two on Rosemary but let’s stop for a second so Madison can praise Gail some more. Rosemary is thrown off the top rope so Jade climbs to the top of the cage (Madison: “SHADES OF GAIL KIM! 2006!”) for a high crossbody. It’s only good for a delayed two but the yellow mist blinds Jade. An F5 makes Rosemary champion at 14:42.
Rating: C-. Yeah I know we have a new champion. That’s great and all, but can we get a little more about Gail Kim? I mean, how does she feel about this? Did you know she’s the first Knockout in the Hall of Fame? Or that Rosemary basically beat her because Gail picked Jade as the next face of the division? Rosemary winning is the best option as someone else can rise up to beat her but you’re almost crazy if you don’t think Gail is a top contender for that honor.
Rosemary laughs at Gail to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was better this week but the focus on the older talent is getting old. Gail Kim was the focus of the main event, Al Snow got a big promo and the Hardys are about to get their own special. The World Title match next week got a little focus but the rest of the card just doesn’t do much for me right now. At least the wrestling was better though and that’s a positive step for TNA.
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Impact Wrestling – November 10, 2016: Looking at you Through the Glass
Impact Wrestling Date: November 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s another big night here in TNA as the World Title is on the line again. This time it’s Eli Drake challenging as he cashes in his Bound for Gold title shot for a chance at Eddie Edwards’ World Title. Other than that we’ll likely get an update on Broken Matt Hardy, who might have amnesia. Let’s get to it.
We look back at last week’s main event.
Josh previews the show, which will feature the start of some competition to crown a new #1 contender.
Here’s Eddie to open the show. Over his career, he’s had a lot of support but there’s also been a lot of negativity. He’s developed a never say die attitude and is ready for anything, but here’s Drake to interrupt. Drake is Bound For Gold and is ready to lighten Eddie’s load a bit. This brings out Ethan Carter III to say he’ll be #1 contender no matter what. He can see it in Eli’s eyes: Drake isn’t ready to be champion. Now it’s Mike Bennett and Maria coming out to laugh at Ethan for betting on Eddie, just like when he bet and lost his streak. The fight is on but here’s Moose to join in as we take a break.
Mike Bennett vs. Moose
This is the first in a series of qualifying matches for a #1 contenders match. Moose throws him around to start so Maria pulls her husband to the floor, earning an ejection, followed by a lot of screaming. Back in and a chop block slows Moose down and we slow down into a standard “keep the power guy on the mat” match. Moose makes his comeback with headbutts to the arm but can’t do his running charge into the corner.
Instead it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb and a backsplash (becoming WAY too common a move in wrestling) for two, only to have Bennett kick out the leg again. A piledriver gets two because piledrivers are only devastating sometimes. The Game Changer is broken up with even more superkicks but Bennett no sells a pump kick, setting up a cutter for two. They head outside with Moose going head first into the steps, drawing a countout to give Bennett the win at 8:32.
Rating: D+. Standard Bennett match here, meaning nothing all that interesting. I’m glad they didn’t have Moose lose clean here and Bennett is more interesting going forward towards the title, especially if Lashley is involved in this competition. You don’t need two big power guys in the same match so Bennett going forward makes more sense.
Al Snow is here for a surprise from the Tribunal.
We go to the Hardy Compound where Jeff shows up to check on his brother. Apparently Matt has been acting differently since his injury, including wearing sweaters and showing an interest in home improvement. That means building a dining room, but he doesn’t recognize Jeff at the moment. Jeff tries to impersonate Broken Matt, who doesn’t even remember that they’re wrestlers. He’s an engineer now but Reby has an idea.
Here’s the Tribunal for a statement. They quickly bring Snow out and get right to the point: they don’t need him and never did. The beatdown is on and it’s Mahabali Shera for the save. The Tribunal easily beats up the dancer and stand tall.
Jesse Godderz wants to get his hands on Aron Rex and it’s not about the title.
Abyss vs. Ethan Carter III
Qualifying match. Carter misses an early charge but has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Abyss takes it outside and chokeslams Ethan onto the apron (which the announcers don’t point out as the hardest part of the ring). Back in and a hard shot to the face drops Carter again before a comeback is cut off by a chokeslam for two. A chair doesn’t work and Ethan grabs a sleeper for a tap out (Huh?) at 6:36.
Rating: D. A sleeper for a submission? I guess it was supposed to be a rear naked choke but when the announcers call it a sleeper, that’s what I’m going with. Maybe Carter couldn’t get him in the 1%er or something but that’s quite the weird ending. At least we had a fresh match for a change and that’s a good thing.
Eli is ready to take the title.
Back to the Hardy Compound where Reby plays the theme song while Matt eats lobster. A family sing-a-long breaks out but Matt has no idea what to do. To be fair they ask him to remember Jeff’s line. Jeff offers to take him on a ride on the dirtbike. Jeff: “ISN’T THAT EXCITING???” Matt: “No.”
JB is in the ring to bring out Gail Kim, who has an announcement. Gail comes out and says Borash is like family to him. Interesting but not much of an announcement. She asks Jade to come out here and calls Jade the future of the division. Gail sounds like she’s about to retire when Rosemary and Decay cut her off. It’s mist for Gail and Jade gets dropped, leaving Rosemary to choke Gail out. Rosemary isn’t done as she goes coast to coast to drive a garbage can into Jade’s face.
Trevor Lee vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ
Thankfully it’s not a title match but rather another qualifying match. It’s a chase to start with Lee kicking DJZ in the chest but Spud can’t get a cover. Back in Lee throws DJZ around again but gets knocked outside, leaving Spud to take out DJZ’s leg. A springboard legdrop gets two but Lee muscles Spud up and sends him flying with a release German suplex. Spud comes back in for a low blow on DJZ but gets kneed in the face. The fishmerman’s buster gives Lee the pin on Spud at 4:22.
Rating: C-. This was every X-Division match you’ve seen in the last few years and there was no mention of the champion losing or of Lee earning a potential future title shot after winning a match involving the champ. At least DJZ didn’t lose though and he still has that stupid flag to carry around in Team X Gold which doesn’t actually involve gold.
Aiden O’Shea puts Grado and Robbie E. together as a team against Lashley. The happiness quickly ends.
Brandi Rhodes tries to give Allie a pep talk to no avail.
Lashley vs. Grado/Robbie E.
Qualifying match and the team doesn’t get an entrance. Tags are required here as Josh tries to say the team should be favored. Robbie is driven into the corner to start before it’s off to Grado for a top rope ax handle. Robbie’s middle rope clothesline actually puts Lashley down and Grado does his dancing punches. A double suplex just seems to tick Lashley off and it’s time to get serious. Grado’s spine is busted and the spear ends Robbie at 2:56.
We look back at Rex defending the title last week and knocking Godderz out with one punch.
Rex arrives while polishing the belt. Jesse is waiting on him (Rex: “Someone had too much Creatine.”) and we go to a break. Back with Rex saying he’s not interested in this and getting beaten up anyway. The beating continues until Rex gets back into the car and leaves.
Back to the Hardy Compound where Matt is terrified to be on the bike. They go to the lake where Matt is very confused about the idea of talking to a boat. Matt on what’s going on in his head: “It’s just so hard to describe!” Cue the Scribe to confuse Matt even more. Jeff suggests getting in the water but Matt says it’s freezing. Matt won’t do it so Jeff says he’ll go fight by himself. As his brother leaves, Matt suggests counseling.
TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Eli Drake
Drake is challenging and we get Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start until Drake takes over with a hard clothesline. The champ gets beaten down a few more times and a powerslam gets two. Eddie’s comeback sees him throw Drake over the top but a little skinning the cat….doesn’t work as Drake is clotheslined out to the floor.
The suicide dive is overshot as Eddie crashes into the crowd and Drake comes up holding his arm. Back in and a quick Blunt Force Trauma gets two, followed by a quick belly to back suplex for the same. Not that it matters as the Boston Knee Party is enough for the pin to retain the title at 10:21.
Rating: C. The best thing about this match is the time. There’s no reason whatsoever for Eddie to need more than about ten minutes to dispatch Drake and that’s what happened here. Drake is similar to the Miz: mainly talk, but he’s so good at it that he can hang above his in ring levels. This gets rid of Bound For Gold but Drake did well enough that he could be back here someday.
Post match here’s the DCC to go after Eddie. The champ is laid out and the masks come off to reveal someone unnamed (Eddie Kingston), Bram and James Storm, the latter of whom seems to be the leader.
Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine enough but as usual there’s almost nothing to get connected to. Everything in TNA (save for the Hardys) is always so structured with people winning a tournament or a competition or something like that to get a title shot. You never have someone get over on sheer popularity and become a contender because everything has to be earned. I like the sentiment and it’s good for a change but as usual, it’s not a good idea to have everything be the same. I need more emotion and something to connect to as most of the time I’m just watching things happen instead of getting interested in them.
Results
Mike Bennett b. Moose via countout
Ethan Carter III b. Abyss – Sleeper
Trevor Lee b. Rockstar Spud and DJZ – Fisherman’s buster to Spud
Lashley b. Robbie E./Grado – Spear to Robbie
Eddie Edwards b. Eli Drake – Boston Knee Party
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Impact Wrestling – October 13, 2016: Suddenly, A Change
Impact Wrestling Date: October 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
A lot happened last week with the biggest change of events seeing Eddie Edwards becoming the new TNA World Champion by defeating Lashley. Tonight we have Maria Kanellis’ rematch for the Knockouts Title as she challenges Gail Kim in a No DQ match, though there’s always the chance that Maria’s cronies could screw things up again. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of last week’s show, primarily focusing on Lashley losing the World Title.
Here’s Edwards for his first address as champion. Edwards says he’s worked to get here and the fans tell him he deserves it. He’s fought Lashley a few times now but something was different this time around. Edwards promises to be a fighting champion who will defend this title anywhere anytime and that includes facing Lashley again. Cue Lashley who quickly beats Edwards down and demands a referee out here for a rematch. Instead it’s Moose and Ethan Carter III for the save as Lashley leaves. That’s not exactly the best way to showcase the new champion but at least he didn’t lose the title yet.
The Tribunal wants to see Billy Corgan but get Aiden O’Shea instead. The boss hasn’t been impressed with them lately and they’re on the bubble. O’Shea advises them to do something to impress Corgan and soon.
Corgan says Lashley has just lost his automatic title rematch. Now that’s actually interesting. I’m glad we don’t immediately have to sit through Lashley getting yet another shot just because he was champion a week ago.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Jesse Godderz
Rex is defending and Godderz is coming in with a hamstring injury. They hit the mat to start and exchange some early headlocks as Josh and Pope argue over who is closer to Corgan. Jesse’s rollup gets two but he grabs at his hamstring on the kickout. The round wraps up with Godderz working on the arm and that’s enough to win the round.
A frustrated Rex rolls Jesse up a few times to start the second round, only to get caught in the Adonis Lock. Rex grabs the ropes but Jesse works on the arm some more as the round ends. Godderz wins round two and we take a break before the final round. Back with Rex being a bit less aggressive than you would expect and forearming Godderz outside. Jesse is smart enough to sit on the floor and eat up some time, only to have Rex kick him in the hamstring on the way back inside. The Revelator retains Rex’s title at 13:15 (including commercial and time between rounds).
Rating: D+. So they seem to already be teasing a Rex heel turn. To be fair he’s been a champion for a whole eleven days and that’s WAY too long for a face to be a good guy around here. I really don’t need yet another heel around here but it’s not like Rex is interesting as a guy in trunks so maybe it’s for the best.
Lashley tells O’Shea he has a surprise later tonight.
The Hardys talk about getting things back to where they were a year ago, which Jeff thinks means they’re even again. Matt says no because he can only indulge his addiction for one night only. Jeff seems a bit more like his old self here.
Allie gets an e-mail from someone (presumably Corgan) saying everyone is banned from ringside for Maria’s title defense. Maria freaks out and yells at Allie for not telling her.
Lashley interrupts Moose and Ethan Carter III and tells them that they’re in the main event tonight.
Here are the Hardys for a chat. Matt says he set his brother on an odyssey to regain the Tag Team Championships of the World and that debt was repaid at Bound For Glory. They’re the best team in the world, including the Bucks of Youth and the Day of the New. Jeff sings the theme song and Matt makes noises because he’s having a pre-mo-nition: there will be new #1 contenders crowned tonight in the Zone of Impact. Cue the Tribunal to jump the Hardys from behind.
Video on Mike Bennett vs. Cody. Bennett isn’t pleased with Cody showing up and trying to make an impact. Tonight they’ll settle things in the ring.
Cody vs. Mike Bennett
Feeling out process to start with Cody grabbing a sunset flip for two but missing the Beautiful Disaster. With Bennett on the floor, Cody hits a springboard dive to take him out in a big crash. Maria offers a distraction though and Mike gets in an elevated DDT off the barricade. Since it’s 2016, that’s not even enough for a close call though as Cody is back in by eight.
A dropkick gets two for Mike but Cody starts his comeback with some forearms and an Alabama Slam. The Beautiful Disaster connects but Bennett ducks the moonsault press. Instead it’s a Pedigree from Bennett for another near fall, only to have Cody take him down and try what looks like a Figure Four. Maria offers another distraction but Cody comes right back with Cross Rhodes for the pin at 8:45.
Rating: C+. Cody looked like his usual self so that’s all well and good, though I’m not wild on having Bennett lose again. He’s just fallen through the floor lately and while he’s still good, there’s no fire to him anymore. I’m also not sure why they had this match so early, other than giving Cody his title match way too soon.
Moose is ready for Ethan.
X-Division Title: Marshe Rockett vs. DJZ
Rockett is challenging and we get a quick video package on him before the match. Marshe is 6’4 and 250lbs so he’s not your normal member of the division. DJZ goes after him in the corner but gets shoved away by the much bigger Rockett. The champ is launched out to the floor and Rockett hits a good looking dropkick back inside. DJZ speeds things up and sends Marshe outside for a flip dive. The ZDT retains the title at 4:48.
Rating: C. Standard X-Division match here, meaning they bring in someone who could be a big deal and take the division by storm and then he loses in his first singles match because there’s no time to build up a story or interest in a match. DJZ is a good champion but he’s running through the division way too fast.
Bennett says he’ll have Maria’s back tonight but Allie says he’s banned as well.
Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim
Kim is defending, there are no disqualifications and Madison Rayne is on commentary. If Maria loses, she’s out of power in the Knockouts division. Maria tries to bring in some weapons but is quickly thrown to the floor. Gail puts her in a dumpster and sends her flying down the ramp into the post. Back in and Maria uses some trashcan lids to take over, followed by a spinebuster for two. A kendo stick shot puts Maria down but Gail lets her up at two. Instead Gail goes with Eat Defeat into a trashcan lid to retain at 4:57.
Rating: D. I’m really hoping that’s it as there’s no reason for this to keep going otherwise. Maria is out of power and Gail can be our glorious champion because that’s how the world is supposed to work. I’m not sure who is left to challenge Gail unless they can somehow get us to her vs. Allie, who was the biggest deal in the division for a bit.
Eli Drake tells Ethan not to choke tonight.
Cody comes up to see Eddie Edwards in the back and asks if he’ll be ok for their title match next week. Eddie says he’ll be fine and they’re cool.
We get a vignette with a clock spinning. Three men in masks are sitting behind a table covered in masks. They’re bringing clarity and order to Impact and they’re not afraid to take a stand.
Moose vs. Ethan Carter III
The winner of this faces Lashley in a #1 contenders match. They start fast with both guys going for their finishers early on. An exchange of dropkicks goes better for Moose and they head outside with Carter taking over off some forearms to the chest. Moose is right back with a bicycle kick to the face and an AA onto the apron for good measure. Back in and Carter missile dropkicks Moose down and it’s time to chop it out. A pop up powerbomb and senton give Moose two but Carter is right back up with a Stinger Splash. The chokebomb sets up a discus lariat to the back of Carter’s head for the pin at 7:43.
Rating: C+. This was a bit better than I was expecting and it makes sense to have Moose go forward like this. We’ve seen Carter fighting for the title for well over a year now and it’s time for someone else to get a shot in that spot instead. Moose vs. Lashley should be fun, though I would wait a bit longer than a week for that showdown.
Lashley comes out to stare down Moose as the show ends.
Overall Rating: C. That’s one of their better shows in a while as TNA actually did a few things. Unfortunately though they did a lot of things in one week that could have been stretched out for several weeks, which has always been a problem for them. The World Title scene feels hotter than it has in months and there’s some interesting stuff going on elsewhere. This felt a lot more energetic than most of their shows and that’s a good thing.
Results
Aron Rex b. Jesse Godderz – Revelator
Cody b. Mike Bennett – Cross Rhodes
DJZ b. Marshe Rockett – ZDT
Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat into a trashcan lid
Moose b. Ethan Carter III – Discus lariat to the back of the head
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Impact Wrestling Date: October 6, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s the start of a new era for TNA as we’re straight off Bound For Glory with the big story being Lashley holding onto the TNA World Title. Other than that we have new Tag Team Champions with the Hardys defeating Decay in the Great War and the first ever Grand Champion in Aron Rex. Everything starts fresh tonight so let’s get to it.
We open with a montage from Bound For Glory.
Here’s Lashley to open the show with a smirk on his face. Lashley brags about how he beats everyone in the company and is the man around here because of this belt on his shoulder. No one can beat him but here’s Aron Rex to interrupt. Rex used to be smart so he’s going to try to do the math. Grand Champion sounds a lot better than World Champion so Rex sees himself as the man around here.
A fight is teased but here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. TNA would make her World Champion in a heartbeat so I shouldn’t be surprised by this one. Gail says it’s 2016 and the women are changing the game around here so she’s the face of the company. This brings out Matt Hardy with Reby and Maxill (no Jeff and Matt has both belts) to say TNA is now a broken company. Preach it brother.
Matt is always ready to delete (repeat five times) but here’s DJZ to give us all the titles in one ring. DJZ mentions something called Team X Gold but Lashley cuts him off and says he’s got a fight coming up and doesn’t have time to waste with second rate title holders. Now it’s Billy Corgan coming out with Aiden O’Shea (Remember him?) to congratulate all the champions.
All of the champions will be in competition tonight (Matt: “WONDERFUL!”) and Lashley doesn’t care who he’s facing tonight. All the titles will be on the line tonight, except for DJZ because he helped to introduce Team X Gold. Wait are they having X-Division Tag Team Titles? For the love of all things good and holy, WHY??? Anyway Lashley is given three options to face tonight but first up it’s Team X Gold.
Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket vs. DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter
Everett and Mandrews start things off with Mandrews hitting a moonsault into a basement dropkick. Rocket, a good sized guy, comes in and kicks Mandrews in the face to take over. It’s off to Lee vs. Sutter with Braxton getting in a kick to the face until Rocket comes back in with a powerslam. DJZ comes in for some clotheslines on Rocket but the champ gets kicked in the face. It’s quickly off to Everett, who moonsaults into raised boots. A quick tag off to Mandrews sets up a shooting star press to pin Everett at 5:27.
Rating: C. Oh sweet goodness TNA what are you doing? I get the idea here (capitalizing on the success of the Cruiserweight Classic) but my goodness could they come up with something a little better than throwing six guys out there with little to no connection and having a match?
Normally I would ask if they had learned anything from WWE’s mistakes in the cruiserweight division but of course they haven’t because they think it’s a good idea to have a full six man tag division when they can barely do a singles division. Rocket looked impressive here and has star power but this is just more stuff that doesn’t solve the problems the X-Division already has (no stories, no characters etc.)
One of Lashley’s potential opponents is Moose, who says Lashley is scared of him.
It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake and now he’s got a set outside the ring. Drake brings out Ethan Carter III, who had a rocket shoved so far inside him you would think he’d spit out rocket fuel. Eli won’t let Ethan talk as he comes up with ways to call Ethan a loser. Ethan says he lost at Bound For Glory and says his passion has been replaced by anger. If Drake pushes the button one more time, Ethan is going to eviscerate him and he even gets on his knees to beg Drake to hit it again.
Drake shoves the button away and talks about getting into TNA because of something called the Rising. He’s been hearing about how he’s not in Ethan Carter’s league because Carter has been handed every opportunity. That’s it for the interview, which means we don’t get an explanation for how Drake grew a full head of hair and a beard in four days.
Maria Kanellis yells at Allie over screwing up on Sunday. Sienna and Laurel Van Ness talk Maria out of firing her because they need someone to carry their bags. Sienna will get the title back tonight and Allie better not mess it up.
Eddie Edwards says Lashley sees him as the easy match so please pick him to give Lashley the easy title defense.
Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame induction.
Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Gail Kim
Gail is defending and Madison Rayne is on commentary (with her husband Josh Matthews). Sienna knocks Allie into Gail to knock her off the apron before driving the champ back first into the apron. They head inside with Gail escaping the AK-47 but getting caught in a reverse powerbomb for two. Gail ducks the Pounce and rolls Sienna up to retain at 3:04.
Rating: D+. This match sums up so many of the problems in TNA in one match: a lack of emotion. There’s no reason to care about Gail other than she’s been here for a long time. There’s no reason to care about Sienna because she had the title and then lost it after doing a total of nothing as champion. Combine that with a nothing match that gets no time and what is there here to get excited over? The problem is that’s the case with the majority of what TNA does and it gets really tiresome.
Maria and company come out to beat on Gail. With Sienna holding Gail, Maria says her rematch will take place next week in a No DQ match. Madison is downright annoyed over this. I mean, she’s not going to do anything about it but it’s certainly ruffled her feathers.
Ethan Carter III is the third option and doesn’t think Lashley will pick him. If Lashley wants a real fight though, pick him.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay
This is a Wolf Creek Cage Match, meaning a weapons cage match with a win by escape only and a name tied into one of Pop’s shows. It’s a brawl to start with Jeff stapling Abyss in various places. Steve climbs the cage and gets a grappling hook of all things to pull at Matt’s mouth. A kendo stick shot to the back puts Matt down but the Hardys come back with shots of their own.
Matt grabs a CHAINSAW to knock Steve down but Abyss cleans house again. Rosemary stops Jeff from escaping and we get another catfight on the floor. The video freezes for a few moments and comes back on a commercial. We come back from a break with the next segment and no mention of who won. According to TNA’s Twitter, the Hardys won at we’ll say about 9:00.
Rating: D. Lack of an ending aside, this was a really boring cage match with Josh talking about Wolf Creek every few seconds. The problem is when you take away the Final Deletion stuff, Matt and Jeff are two middle aged wrestlers who don’t have anywhere near the spark they used to have, leaving us with really dull matches.
Here are Cody and Brandi Rhodes for their big formal introduction. Cody talks about how the game is changing and lists off some things from Bound For Glory. He talks about the list (a list of things he wanted to do in wrestling) being his guiding light with names like Mike Bennett making him want to keep going.
After a quick Brandi chant, Cody says maybe he should have put the TNA World Title on the list because that’s the Queen’s jewels and the Master Sword. This brings out Mike Bennett and Maria with Bennett not being pleased with Cody being handed a title shot. When Mike got here, he was told that people aren’t just handed title shots so he was ready to earn it. Mike mentions the idea of fighting Cody and that’s enough for the man without a last name. The brawl is on the Bennett bails in a hurry.
Post break Cody says he wants Mike Bennett next week.
O’Shea stops Maria from going into Corgan’s office and calls her toots. Corgan has a message for her though: if she loses her title rematch next week, she’s out of power in the Knockouts division.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Baron Dax
Rex is defending and we’re back to three minute rounds. The champ gets a headlock to start but walks into a pair of neckbreakers. Josh calls this controlling the action because TNA likes to brand the simplest of things because WWE does it and that means it’s a good idea. We hit the chinlock on Rex before Dax hammers away to end the first round. Baron wins the first round and he’s in early control of the second as well. Rex elbows him down and grabs the Royal Arch (Edgecator, though it sounds like a big McDonald’s sandwich) for the submission at 4:18.
Rating: D. So the five minute rounds were just for Bound For Glory and not for the rest of the title matches? But hey, at least we get TEAM X GOLD, which is supposed to be entertaining for whatever reason. This isn’t an interesting concept and I was hoping they would drop it soon enough but let’s just keep it going no matter what because TNA needs to evolve the business by having Rex beat a tag team jobber in four minutes.
Rex says this is changing the business.
Lashley and the three potential opponents come out for the main event. Lashley takes his time and goes over each opponent before picking……Eddie.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards
Lashley is defending but misses a spear at the bell. A release German suplex flips Eddie over though and a delayed vertical suplex makes it even worse. Eddie’s hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb but he gets in a few kicks to the face. Now the hurricanrana brings Lashley off the middle rope and the champ is in trouble. The Boston Knee Party misses but Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dives, only to miss the third one and crash into the barricade. Back in and the Boston Knee Party out of nowhere gives Eddie the title at 7:50.
Rating: C+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s a really entertaining moment and that’s more important. Eddie getting the belt is a good idea, though couldn’t they have done this at Bound For Glory where it would have felt more important? Or, you know, not have had Eddie lose on Sunday? At least it felt important and big though while giving us something fresh. As long as they don’t change the title right back, this should be find.
Next up on Pop: Wolf Creek. Why do I have a feeling the choice for the title isn’t a coincidence?
Overall Rating: C-. Main event aside, this show did very little to fix TNA’s major issues. I still have very few people to care about around here and it’s not really getting much better. Between the new Grand Championship division and apparently an X-Division trios division (because reasons), it feels like they’re just throwing stuff out there. There’s really no main event story and there hasn’t been anything personal around the World Title in a long time. You need something people can connect to because average wrestling isn’t going to cut it these days. It’s not a bad show but very little I can connect to.
Results
DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter b. Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket – Shooting star press to Everett
Gail Kim b. Sienna – Rollup
Hardys b. Decay – Hardys escaped the cage
Aron Rex b. Baron Dax – Royal Arch
Eddie Edwards b. Lashley – Boston Knee Party
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Impact Wrestling – September 29, 2016: So Close Now
Impact Wrestling Date: September 29, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s an interesting show this week for very different reasons. Above all else (at least in theory) this is the go home show for Bound For Glory. However, if the rumors are true, there’s also a strong chance that this is one of the, if not the very, last episodes of the show in general. Let’s get to it.
Jeremy Borash is in the ring to introduce Ethan Carter III and Lashley as the captains for tonight’s Lethal Lockdown. We’re going to get something like a live draft with the following teams announced:
Lashley, Drew Galloway, Mike Bennett, Maria Kanellis
Carter, Aron Rex, Moose, Gail Kim
The captains talk a lot of trash and say this is all that matters to them at the pay per view. Lashley isn’t like the people Carter has beaten because he can end Ethan’s career. Carter has a challenge: the two of them starting Lethal Lockdown one on one. Lashley agrees.
X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ
DJZ is defending after accepting Edwards’ challenge last week. They chop it out to start until DJZ gets in a hurricanrana to send Eddie outside. DJZ’s flip dive doesn’t work though and it’s Eddie sending the champ into the barricade for a suicide dive. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Eddie but he takes too long going for the Boston Knee Party, allowing DJZ to hit a ZDT to retain at 5:34.
Rating: C. Well that happened. This was yet another match that probably should have been at Bound For Glory but instead let’s throw it on here for five minutes with no time to develop. As usual there’s nothing significant going on in the X-Division and there’s no title match announced three days before the biggest show of the year. I’m sure some multi-man match will be added on because that’s how this division works.
Post match the Helms Dynasty comes out and beats up both guys.
Maria yells at Allie some more when Laura comes in. Allie looks like she’s about to cry as Maria says this is what a woman should look like.
Mike Bennett and Moose had a sitdown interview earlier with Moose talking about how he’s dealt with people like Bennett for his entire football career. Bennett says this isn’t football and promises to teach Moose a lesson on Sunday. Moose says after he beats Bennett all around the ring, the fans will be chanting one name.
Madison Rayne vs. Laurel Van Ness
Laurel offers Madison a chance to kiss her hand before the match but Madison forearms her in the face. That means it’s time for a trip to the floor so Allie can check Laurel’s makeup. Back in and Laurel gets in a few slaps as even Josh is sounding bored with this match. Laurel hits a curb stomp for the pin at 3:56.
Rating: D. We’re three days away from the biggest show of the year and TNA is showcasing a newcomer instead of building up the matches they’ve got coming up. It says a lot when Josh Matthews, who can get hyped over whatever latest stupid sitcom he’s shilling for Pop, sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else. Laurel was watchable and the gimmick works but not the right time to debut it.
Allie announces Laurel as the winner, as per Maria’s orders.
Lashley offers a title shot to anyone who takes Ethan out.
Drew Galloway is in the ring and calls out Aron Rex for a chat. Galloway talks about how he made this the place to be (for unemployment checks) so you’re welcome. Rex: “First of all, get your own catchphrase.” Aron promises to beat Drew up like a greasy haired loser so Drew brings up the stuntman. This Sunday there can only be one and that’s going to be Drew Galloway. Security comes out to break up the brawl but both guys get in cheap shots.
Decay promises to destroy the Hardys.
Long recap of Decay vs. House Hardy.
Reby Hardy vs. Rosemary
Reby throws her around to start but gets choked down. Some forearms to the back have Reby in trouble but she grabs a Twist of Fate, only to have Steve get on the apron for a distraction. Reby goes after Steve and it’s the mist to Reby’s eyes for the DQ at 3:10.
Rating: D-. Yeah this was all you could have expected. Neither of them are regular wrestlers and the “match” was your old school Divas catfight instead of anything resembling wrestling. This feud can’t end quickly enough for me as I’m tired of hearing them say the same things for months on end.
Post match the big brawl breaks out and Rosemary gives Reby a Side Effect through a table.
Lashley wins the coin toss for his team.
Back from a break, Decay beats on Matt and Jeff even more. They fight to the back where Matt is electrocuted by a cable and we go to three camera shots at once with Steve shouting DECAY.
Cody Rhodes vignette.
Maria and Gail have another sitdown interview with Maria insisting on being introduced properly. They insult each other a few times and argue over whether the title or the Hall of Fame is more important.
Tyrus is talking about the Bound For Gold match when Eli Drake interrupts. A business partnership is offered but Tyrus isn’t interested. Then what’s the point of his character?
We run down the Bound For Glory card. The X-Division Title isn’t mentioned.
Ethan gives his team a pep talk.
Team Carter vs. Team Lashley
This is Lethal Lockdown, meaning there’s a cage with weapons around the ring. Two men will start for five minutes and then Lashley’s team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up, Team Carter sends in a second man to even things up. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in. At that point the cage roof lowers and it’s one fall to a finish.
Carter is in the ring to start but Lashley sends Bennett out to start instead. They slug it out to start with Carter getting the better of it, only to walk into a spinebuster. A clothesline gets Carter out of trouble and both guys are down until it’s Galloway giving Lashley’s team their advantage. The beating is on and we take a break.
Back with Rex coming in to even things up and the good guys take over, as is always the case in these things. Lashley gives his team another advantage as the clock is all over the place here. There’s nothing to talk about here as they’re just hitting each other over and over during these periods. Moose even things up and hits a spinning crossbody but everything evens out until it’s Maria coming down the ramp.
Bennett tells her not to get in though so the brawling continue until Gail Kim comes out and throws Maria inside. That lasts all of ten seconds as Maria runs out with Gail chasing her up the ramp. I’m SO glad they were added here and not, say, whoever is in the X-Division Title match. Ah right, WE DON’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE FOR THE PAY PER VIEW.
Back from another break with Lashley’s team in full control until Lashley has them stop for a meeting, allowing Rex to come back with a chair shot. Moose and Rex take turns beating Lashley down with various weapons. Bennett gets in a pipe shot on Rex and superkicks a chair into Moose’s face.
Moose does the same thing with a dropkick but walks into the Futureshock. It’s down to Carter vs. Lashley with Ethan winning a slugout and sending him head first into the cage. The TK3 is no sold so Lashley spears him down and grabs the head and arms choke. Carter goes for the ropes but it doesn’t matter inside the cage. Ethan passes out at 29:03.
Rating: C+. The women being a big waste of time aside, this was a standard Lethal Lockdown with an odd ending as Carter probably shouldn’t lose to end the go home show. Lashley continues to look dominant and he probably should drop the title on Sunday. The other people were really just background noise here, which is why this was such a waste of a gimmick. Just do an eight person tag or something.
Lashley’s choice for the main event: no holds barred.
Overall Rating: D+. Bound For Glory, assuming it happens, really isn’t looking that hot on paper and this show didn’t do it many favors. The matches have all been built up well enough but they’re still not interesting. The main event being no holds barred doesn’t do much for me and the X-Division still not having a match isn’t much better. The company certainly isn’t heading in on a high note but that’s pretty standard anymore.
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Bound For Glory 2016 Date: October 2, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s the big night for TNA and the question looming is more about the future than anything else going on tonight. As for this show though, we have Ethan Carter III challenging Lashley for the TNA World Title, the crowning of the first TNA Grand Champion and the Great War between Decay and the Hardys for the TNA World Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.
We open with Matt Hardy and his son Maxell playing the piano. Matt stops to read a story, which serves as our opening recap for all of the matches.
The announcers welcome us to the show.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ
DJZ is defending and this is a bonus match because the TOTALLY IMPORTANT X-DIVISION didn’t have time to get a match announced on TV. Lee gets taken down with a wristlock and we get a breather on the floor. Back in and a dropkick makes things even worse for Lee but he gets in an uppercut to take over. A running kick to the face has DJZ in even more trouble but it leaves him on the floor to frustrate Lee a bit more.
The champ is thrown back in and grabs a flapjack, followed by a top rope hurricanrana to make it even worse. They trade dives with Lee getting the better of it but DJZ reverses a German suplex into a reverse hurricanrana. The ZDT is countered with the double stomp but DJZ reverses a suplex into a Canadian Destroyer of all things. Now the ZDT connects to retain the title at 11:08.
Rating: B. See, this is what’s so frustrating about the X-Division: if TNA will actually give them the time, they can have a fast paced match like this one. However, no one is going to be able to entertain on a regular basis when they’re getting three minutes with no reason for these people to be fighting. Just give them a chance and they can do their job. That and don’t have a main eventer steal the title for the sake of a World Title storyline that cuts the legs off whatever the division has built up for months.
Drew Galloway says he’s out for a long time and he’s very mad at TNA for making decisions for him. He goes into a rant about Billy Corgan not being allowed to tell him not to go on because Corgan would perform if he was told not to. Drew also slips in that Corgan is trying to buy the company.
Bound For Gold
This is a gauntlet match with the winner getting a future World Title shot, albeit with a one week warning. It’s a Royal Rumble to start until we get down to two people when it becomes a regular match. Jesse Godderz is in at #1 and Rockstar Spud is in at #2. Godderz dominates to start and after a minute and a half, Braxton Sutter is in at #3.
Spud’s double clothesline has no effect but he fights off an elimination until Eli Drake is in at #4. Drake throws Sutter out and the fans do his YEAH catchphrase to mess with Eli’s head. Robbie E. is in at #5 and the BroMans start cleaning house, only to have Robbie try to throw Jesse out. Jesse doesn’t take kindly to this and it’s Baron Dax in at #6.
No one is thrown out and it’s Grado in at #7, only to have Drake throw him out in two seconds. The BroMans double team Drake and Basile Baraka is in at #8. The eliminations start speeding up as Baraka, Dax and Robbie are eliminated in very short order. Tyrus is in at #9 and the monster starts cleaning house. Spud tries to hug him, earning himself a quick elimination. Spud: “WHY?????”
Mahabali Shera completes the field at #10, giving us a final group of Shera, Tyrus, Godderz and Drake. Tyrus slams into Shera and throws him out to get us down to three. Drake is sent over the top but hangs on by his ankles, leaving Tyrus to give Godderz a World’s Strongest Slam. A few dropkicks stagger Tyrus but Drake sneaks back in for the double elimination at 15:08.
Rating: D+. It was boring but this was WAY better than last year’s version. Last year this took up nearly twenty five minutes and was won by Tyrus. This year took up nearly ten minutes less and was won by ANYONE but Tyrus, making it better by definition. Drake winning is by far the right call and I’d love to see him move up to the main event. He’s one of the most consistently entertaining people on the roster.
Celebrity chef Robert Irvine is here to watch Gail Kim be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Maria and Mike Bennett come in to say tonight is about them.
We recap Mike Bennett vs. Moose, which is an old standard with Bennett bringing Moose in and then taking him for granted. Moose isn’t going to take orders and is ready to fight for himself tonight.
Mike Bennett vs. Moose
For some reason Moose gets a full special entrance as a football team in full pads comes out to shout that it’s game time. Bennett hammers away to no avail to start, allowing Moose to dropkick him off the top. Mike slides back in for a running flip dive but Moose throws him ribs first into the post. The monster’s knee is sent into the steps though and Mike stomps away to take over.
Moose fights up again and hits some running clotheslines, followed by a very hard clothesline. Mike comes back with a tornado DDT and a piledriver for two. Even more clotheslines have Bennett reeling but he catches a top rope clothesline in a cutter. That goes nowhere as Moose grabs the chokebomb and hits a discus lariat for the pin at 10:10.
Rating: C-. This was just there and Moose uses WAY too many clotheslines but it was entertaining enough. The problem is they never sold me on the personal animosity. It felt like they pulled the plug in a hurry for the sake of setting up a Bound For Glory match even if it wasn’t time yet. The match was watchable (overuse of clotheslines aside) but it never got beyond ok.
Aron Rex has had to change his gameplan for Eddie Edwards. They were trained by the same man and Rex is here to prove he’s a champion.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Eddie Edwards
For the inaugural title and the rounds are now five minutes long instead of three. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to go anywhere in the first two minutes. Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana but gets caught in the Russian legsweep. Rex is sent outside for a big flip dive and both guys are down. A few more shots have Eddie in control and round one ends.
Eddie wins the first round so Rex is much more aggressive to start the second round. Some hard chops have Eddie in trouble and Rex starts in on the knee. Rex grabs an Indian Deathlock and THE LIGHTS GO OUT. Not as in an angle but as in the lights just stopped working. Fans: “PAY THE LIGHT BILL!” They come back on as Rex puts on a modified Sharpshooter for a few moments. Some knees to the back get two and the round ends.
Rex wins the second round (which he dominated) but Eddie starts round three with a knee to the face for two. The fans want Davey as Eddie misses something off the top and tweaks his knee. We hit two minutes to go as Rex is sat on top but he throws Eddie back down. The Revelator misses and Eddie gets in a Shining Wizard but can’t cover as the match ends at 16:28.
Rating: C+. First and foremost, if they just have to keep this round system going, they have to stick with the five minute rounds. You just can’t get anything going in three minutes and the extra time here did them a lot of good. They didn’t have a choice here with the replacement and while it would have been better to have Galloway, Edwards was as good as you were going to get on short notice.
They keep fighting as we go to a judges’ decision with…..Rex winning via a split decision, which was spoiled by the scorecard before the announcement. They shake hands and Rex says Eddie can have a rematch anytime you want. Rex says they made history tonight and stay tuned for the second part.
It’s time for the Hall of Fame induction with special guests Christy Hemme, Taryn Terrell (pregnant but in a dress that hides it very well) and Awesome Kong, who looks like she’s lost about 50lbs. They all say some nice words for Gail until Dixie Carter comes out (getting booed out of the building in the process) for the long introduction.
Gail comes to the ring and introduces a video tribute, with Al Snow, Billy Corgan and Jade doing most of the talking. Gail reads a quick speech and thanks everyone for helping her get here, including a lot of WWE women and everyone backstage. This was nice and it’s hard to make fun of something rather classy.
We recap Decay vs. the Hardys in the Great War. Decay took the titles earlier in the year and the Hardys invited them to North Carolina for Final Deletion II. This is a match with unclear rules with the titles on the line.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay
Decay is defending. Reby Hardy, in a very long red dress, plays her family to the ring on a live piano. The women are in the ring as well to start and there are weapons around the ring. It’s a wild brawl to start of course and Reby is misted early on, meaning she has to go to the back. Steve clotheslines Matt and says he wants to break his back. Matt saves himself from a suplex but Rosemary throws in a trashcan.
Abyss and Jeff are nowhere to be seen as Rosemary comes in with a Van Terminator of all things to give Steve two on the floor. Back in the ring, Abyss staples Jeff in the forehead. Josh: “Somebody is teeing off on somebody on the other side of the Impact Zone.” Thanks for that information Josh. Matt and Abyss fight to the back with Abyss punching out a referee. Steve and Jeff join them with Decay in control. Jeff tries to reach a bucket labeled “Lake of Reincarnation” but Steve hits him with a music stand.
Back to Matt and Abyss, who fight over by a Universal Studios sign before Steve pours the bucket over Jeff…..who has disappeared. There’s no commentary as Jeff (presumably) throws pumpkins at Steve. We see Jeff, who is now some kind of steampunk pimp with a southern accent, and says he’s Jeff’s friend. Matt and Abyss fight in front of a car as Rosemary returns to slap Jeff, earning herself a pumpkin over the head as Jeff shouts like the Joker. Steve takes Jeff down and tells Rosemary to go help Abyss, who is throwing Matt against a truck.
Some “fan” appears and offers to fight Abyss because he’s on Team Delete. That’s fine with Rosemary who takes him out with one shot. Back to Jeff, who pulls out an umbrella and turns into Willow. Abyss has Janice but Matt throws fire from his hands to set it on fire. “Janice you look so hot.” Someone steals a truck with Abyss and Matt fighting in the back but it’s cut off by Vanguard 1, who chases Rosemary off. More shouting ensues and we cut back to the Impact Zone where Willow brings Steve back inside. Willow grabs a ladder as commentary comes back because it’s no longer pre-taped.
Matt and Abyss stagger back inside as well with Abyss suplexing Matt on the ramp. Jeff (no longer Willow) crawls back out from under the ring and baseball slides a table into Steve. The Twist of Fate and Swanton get two on Abyss, who brings out the barbed wire board. Matt takes over and adds in the thumbtacks, followed by a Side Effect onto various sharp objects.
A middle rope elbow sandwiches Abyss between two barbed wire boards for two. The women come back with Reby putting Rosemary through a table. Steve takes Abyss’ place and gets a Twist of Fate with a chair around his neck. Matt sets up two tables and a ladder before stopping to tell Jeff to indulge in his addiction. Jeff Swantons through Steve for the pin and the titles at 22:45.
Rating: C. I have no idea what to think of this but I’ll take the Monster’s Ball part over the Final Deletion part any day. This stuff just isn’t for me and I really don’t know what to say about most of it. The insanity is really creative and you can tell Matt and Jeff have put a lot of thought into the characters but it’s just not my kind of stuff. It’s entertaining but I’d rather watch regular wrestling than whatever this was.
We recap Lethal Lockdown with Lashley picking the main event stipulations.
Lashley is tired of people like EC3 being placed in front of him. Tonight is about teaching a lesson.
Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim
Maria is defending but says she can’t wrestle because her hand is still broken. Allie says she has good news: the doctor said she’s cleared to wrestle. Maria: “You are so stupid!” The bell rings anyway and Maria clotheslines Gail on the floor. They head inside with Maria slamming Gail head first onto the mat to set up a chinlock.
Gail fights up so Mike Bennett throws in the brace for a shot to the head. That’s only good for two and Allie is caught with the brace, earning her more yelling from Maria. Gail picks the brace off and throws it away before starting with the real beating. The Figure Four around the post has Maria screaming and Eat Defeat (after a double middle finger to Maria) gives Gail the title back at 5:18.
Rating: D. Well this was about as boring as they could have gone but that’s TNA and Gail Kim in a nutshell. Gail just wins the title back because that’s what she does and all the stuff with Sienna, Laurel and even Allie means nothing at this point. Allie will probably go somewhere soon but this really, really didn’t do anything for me.
Bennett goes into a tirade against the fans for trying to screw his family over so it’s time to shut this show down. The lights go out (on purpose this time) and here are the debuting Cody (no longer Rhodes/Runnels) and Brandi (who can be called Rhodes). Maria starts yelling at Cody so Brandi gets in her face, earning Maria a knee to the head. The brawl is on with Cody hitting the Beautiful Disaster. This wasn’t much and felt really thrown together.
Quick recap of Carter vs. Lashley. Carter is the latest person to come after the title and Lashley has promised to treat him like everyone who has come before.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley
No Holds Barred with Lashley defending. Lashley spears Ethan during the Big Match Intros and then allows JB to finish his introduction. Why don’t more people do that? Carter says ring the bell anyway but Lashley runs him over with a clothesline. Some clotheslines from Ethan put Lashley on the floor but the champ shrugs off everything Ethan throws at him.
A quick Dominator has Carter in more trouble and Lashley throws him onto the ramp. Back in and Carter throws him with a t-bone suplex, followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Carter hammers away but gets speared again to cut him in half. Lashley gets the title but walks into a snap German suplex for two before rolling out to the floor. A TK3 on the steps knocks Lashley silly but they’re still outside.
Back in and the third spear gets two on Carter before Lashley just unloads on him with a chair. A Rock Bottom into a side choke has Carter in trouble but he grabs the referee’s leg to keep the match going. Ethan fights up and rolls some German suplexes, setting up the 1%er for two. A super 1%er is broken up and a middle rope spear pins Carter at 16:12.
Rating: C+. If that’s their biggest match of the year, they’re in big trouble. The match was fine but this could have been on any given episode of Impact instead of main eventing the biggest show of the year. Lashley winning is acceptable enough but who in the world is supposed to challenge him now? Moose? Good enough match here but really anti-climactic and the no holds barred thing didn’t matter at all.
And….that’s it. No big debut, no special announcement, nothing out of the ordinary. Lashley just poses and the show ends.
Overall Rating: C. Of all the things TNA could have done, this was probably the worst option. They did NOTHING special here, unless you count the X-Division Title getting a standard match with more than ten minutes for once. The wrestling was really just a bit longer than what you would see on a regular Impact and that’s not saying much. I didn’t hate the show but it was just there.
Nothing really stands out (Final Deletion stuff has been done already) and the ending just happened. Why are people so worried about what happens to this company? The show was fine but absolutely nothing beyond that and that’s not good on your biggest night of the year. As usual, TNA does just enough to scrape by and that’s (partially) why they’re in the shape they’re in: they do little more than exist with nothing outside of Matt’s insanity doing anything fresh. This was disappointing and I’m really not surprised by that, which is a major problem.
Results
DJZ b. Trevor Lee – DJZ
Eli Drake won Bound For Gold last eliminating Tyrus and Jesse Godderz
Moose b. Mike Bennett – Discus lariat
Aron Rex b. Eddie Edwards via split decision
Hardys b. Decay – Swanton Bomb through a table
Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat
Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Middle rope spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Impact Wrestling – September 22, 2016: Is It Too Late To Turn Around?
Impact Wrestling Date: September 22, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
There are two weeks left before Bound For Glory and a lot of the card has been filled in. Tonight we have the two semifinal matches in the Grand Championship tournament and more of the build towards Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley for the TNA World Title. We’re to the point where everything is about setting up the pay per view so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Lashley and Moose brawling to end last week’s show until Ethan Carter III came out for the save.
Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Drew Galloway vs. Eddie Edwards
Josh tries to get “Scottish Dragon” over as Drew’s latest nickname. It’s better than the Leonidas of TNA. Drew chops away to start but Eddie backflips out of a suplex and kicks Drew out to the floor. The suicide dive connects, only to have Drew pop back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron. Drew rolls some suplexes for two before getting in some right hands to “break down the guard” to end the first round.
Drew wins the first round so Eddie scores with a running clothesline to start the second round. A super hurricanrana gets two on Galloway and Eddie ties him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a belly to belly superplex. The Boston Knee Party sends Drew outside and back to back suicide dives has Eddie in full control to end the second round.
Eddie wins the second round to tie it up and starts fast by going after the knee. That’s reversed into the Iron Maiden but Eddie reverses into one of his own. Eddie shifts over into some leg holds so Drew kicks him in the face. That’s one way to do it. They chop it out with Drew getting the better of it and hitting a Razor’s Edge buckle bomb. Eddie gets an enziguri but walks into the Futureshock for two as time expires at 10:17.
Rating: B-. And that’s why I don’t like this tournament structure. This was one of the better matches TNA had put on in a few weeks if not months but the stupid rounds and time limit made sure that they couldn’t keep going because we need to end this match at nine minutes. To be fair though, how else are we going to get in more vignettes of Vanguard I and Senor Benjamin playing chess?
The judges give it to Drew on a split decision. Again, the points aren’t actually mentioned and they would have the same result if they just had the judges vote on a winner instead of giving numbers. But hey, why do what makes sense when you can make it more complicated?
Post match Drew says his match will be the real main event of Bound For Glory because nothing can follow him. This brings out Ethan Carter III, who doesn’t like Drew suggesting that he’s the better man. Drew thinks it’s interesting how Ethan comes out on his feet all the time and offers him a Grand Championship shot. As Drew leaves, Ethan says he can beat Drew anywhere anytime but here’s Lashley to interrupt. Mike Bennett runs in from behind to beat on Drew and it’s a double beatdown. Cue Moose but the good guys are left laying.
Allie is trying to find people to help with Maria Kanellis’ public workout but Maria comes up to yell at her again.
Aron Rex and Eli Drake are ready for their semifinal match.
Bennett asks Lashley if they’re friends but Lashley says he has no friends. Mike thinks he can get a title shot by beating Moose but Lashley stares him down.
Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Aron Rex vs. Eli Drake
Before the bell, Drake tells Rex to stay off the mic because he can’t hang at this level. Rex laughs off the insults and says he’s going to tell the tale of Eli Drake. Eli is the offspring of an out of work Chippendale dancer and a Muppet and has bad taste in knee pads. That’s a little rude but not exactly Drake was probably more insulting. Rex needs to stick with being smart and not trying to be a Rock knockoff.
They trade headlocks to start as it’s a very simple first minute. Rex’s Russian legsweep looks to set up the Wind-Up Elbow but Drew bails to the floor. A sideslam looks to set up the Edgecator on Drake but the first round wraps up. Round one goes to Rex but he still can’t get the Edgecator to start the second.
Drake pops him in the jaw a few times and grabs a chinlock, which really isn’t the best idea in a match this short. A jumping neckbreaker gets two on Aron and Drake pounds him down to end the second round. Drake wins the second and Rex is in trouble to start the final round. Not that it matters as Rex hits his discus punch (the Revelator) for the pin at 8:43.
Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad and yet again the time limit really hurt things. We’ve spent the better part of a month setting up a final that’s going to have a nine minute time limit for a big fight between people who want to hurt each other. Drake deserves a bit better than this but at least they’re giving a rub to someone with potential.
Decay promises to destroy the Hardys in the Great War but they catch Vanguard I spying on them. A Senor Benjamin hologram pops up to laugh at them as Vanguard I flies away.
Rex is talking about his win when Galloway pops up to say he’ll win, though Aron disagrees.
We see a man walking to his car and talking about his past being behind. He gets in his car and the reveal is Cody Rhodes (just Cody here), who will debut at Bound For Glory.
Here’s Decay with a message for the Hardys. Rosemary says the Great War will be the end of every last Hardy. More destruction is promised until Matt Hardy appears in the crowd to say this is a world of magic. The battlefield for the Great War will be the entire world so Matt can delete the title reign. Jeff shows up to say they’ll twist Decay’s fate and Abyss will no longer be beautiful, Steve won’t be crazy and Rosemary won’t be rosy anymore. The lights go out and come back up to reveal Steve and Abyss tied to the ropes. Reby shows up to spear Rosemary but she can’t get a Twist of Fate. Reby promises to take care of her soon.
Ethan Carter III and Moose fire each other up.
X-Division Champion DJZ comes out and issues an open challenge for a title match.
X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is challenging and starts fast with a slam to work on DJZ’s back. The champ fights back and sends Lee outside for a big flip dive to take out Lee and Andrew Everett. Back in and a middle rope back elbow to the jaw rocks Lee, followed by a springboard hurricanrana. The ZDT retains the title at 3:45.
Rating: C-. So much for the X-Division being revitalized. This was just like most X-Division matches you’ve seen in the last few years: no reason for it to happen other than “let’s have a match”, nothing special for wrestling, almost no time and the same people fighting for the title that have been fighting for it since I can remember. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s really lazy storytelling.
Post match Everett and Lee (they’re still the Helms Dynasty despite Helms not being around in months) beat on DJZ until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Edwards asks for a title match next week and DJZ says it’s on.
Maria yells at Allie for being stupid like Gail Kim. Allie is crushed, again.
Here are Maria, Allie and Sienna for Maria’s public workout. Maria yells at Allie and tells her to get out of the camera shot because no one wants to see her. Sienna deserves a title shot but isn’t going to get one tonight. An unnamed opponent comes out and gets beaten up by Sienna, allowing Maria to get the first pin in about thirty seconds. Allie doesn’t have a second opponent because she already found the easiest opponent she could. Maria berates her again so here’s a woman in all black, including a mask. Yeah I think you know where this one is going.
The masked woman easily takes Maria to the mat and reveals herself as Gail Kim. Sienna comes in for the save but Gail beats her down too and sends the other heels running. There’s an interesting story here, assuming you completely remove Gail from the match. Every part of this looks to be setting up Allie taking the title from Maria but no, let’s have Gail Kim get the title shot instead. Maybe Maria retains anyway and loses to Allie down the road but that should be at the pay per view, not some TV match later on.
Same Cody vignette from earlier. They really couldn’t film two of these?
We run down the Bound For Glory card.
Ethan Carter III/Moose vs. Lashley/Mike Bennett
Bennett drops to the floor at the opening bell so Lashley gets beaten down by both opponents. We take a break about a minute in and come back with Bennett hitting a cutter for two on Carter. Bennett sends Carter into the corner but punches Lashley by mistake. The hot tag brings in Moose and everything breaks down. Carter grabs a quick rollup to pin Bennett at 8:35.
Rating: D. What the heck was that? Most of this was in the commercial and the ending felt like it was out of nowhere. Carter vs. Lashley and Bennett vs. Moose don’t feel like big matches and that’s a really bad sign for two of the top three matches at the biggest show of the year. Not good here and not a good way to set things up.
Post match Lashley and Carter brawl with wrestlers and referees barely able to hold them back. Cue Billy Corgan to say that’s not how this is going down. Next week we’re starting Bound For Glory early with Team Lashley vs. Team Carter with the winning team getting to pick the stipulations for the title match. Oh and let’s just make it Lethal Lockdown. You know, because THE BIGGEST GIMMICK MATCH TNA HAS SHOULD BE USED TO SET UP ANOTHER MATCH.
Overall Rating: C. This show did its job of helping to build a lot of stuff at Bound For Glory but it’s still not the most interesting stuff in the world. Nothing on the card feels like a must see match and that’s not how you want the biggest show of the year to go. Lashley vs. Carter has been done before and I’m really not excited about seeing them fight again. It’s better than what they’ve done in recent years but this is really not doing much for me right now.
Results
Drew Galloway b. Eddie Edwards via judges’ decision
Aron Rex b. Eli Drake – Revelator
DJZ b. Trevor Lee – ZDT
Ethan Carter III/Moose b. Lashley/Mike Bennett – Rollup to Bennett
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