Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2016
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s another special show tonight as we have Lockdown, meaning everything is inside a steel cage, even if the feud might not have warranted that yet. The main event is Matt Hardy defending the World Title against Ethan Carter III in Carter’s rematch after the title was stolen away from him a few weeks back. Let’s get to it.

The opening video explains Lockdown and the main event.

Beer Money vs. Eric Young/Bram

In a cage, like all other matches tonight. They start fighting in the aisle with Storm hitting Bram in the head with a beer. The fight goes inside quickly enough but first up Bram gives Storm the Brighter Side of Suffering on the floor. That leaves Roode inside in a glorified handicap match with Roode down two to one. Bram is quickly taken down though, allowing Roode to hit a Blockbuster on Young. Storm climbs in over the top and sends Bram into the cage ten straight times to drop him off the top.

Beer Money starts cleaning house but Bram breaks up a double suplex on Young. Roode is fast enough to catapult Young into Bram for a top rope crotching, setting up a hurricanrana and a top rope splash for two. DWI is broken up and Eric suplexes Roode down. Last Call hits Young but Bram spinwheel kicks Storm to put everyone on the mat. It’s Beer Money up first with the double suplex on Young, setting up DWI for the pin on Bram at 8:30.

Rating: C. Hopefully this makes Bram and Young shut up for a bit though there’s no reason to assume that’s going to happen. Beer Money continues to be their usual solid selves though they’re really not doing anything other than going on a nostalgia run. The match was fine but I still have no desire to see Young and Bram as a team again.

Madison Rayne has been attacked because this is TNA and they only know about three angles for their female wrestlers.

Here’s Ethan to sit on the steps for a promo. He can’t wait to fight here in foggy old London town because Matt Hardy has tried to do whatever he can to mess with Ethan. Whether it’s having Tyrus interfere or cave Ethan’s head in with a chair, it’s just delaying the reality that Matt can’t beat him. However, speaking of being alone, Ethan needs to talk about Rockstar Spud.

After the Rockstar comes to the ring, Ethan talks about their history and admits that he was wrong. They slowly shake hands and Spud says he’ll always do what’s right. Spud isn’t scared of Matt or Tyrus because he’s Rockstar Spud and no one tells him what to do. This brings out Matt and company to say that everything belongs to him. The Matt Hardy Brand has absorbed the Impact Wrestling Brand and if Spud comes anywhere near the cage tonight, his life will be destroyed. Carter says bring it.

A British man (the unnamed Jimmy Havoc) says Rosemary was his before she was Crazzy Steve’s. They’re good for each other and he’s getting her back.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Gregory Shane Helms in his corner. Tigre grabs a quick rollup to start before nailing Lee in the head to put him down. The champ comes right back with some choking on the bottom rope, followed by a release gutwrench suplex. A quick kick to the head staggers Lee and Tigre sends him into the cage a few times.

Uno gets two off a top rope legdrop between Lee’s legs before climbing up the cage. Lee’s save doesn’t work as Tigre kicks him down, only to dive down with a huge high cross body and an equally large crash. The delayed cover only gets two and Trevor gets up with a knee to the head. The fisherman’s buster retains Trevor’s title at 6:16. Josh: “Tigre just wanted to have that Lockdown moment.” Give me a break.

Rating: C-. You remember those first two times where Trevor beat Tigre with the fisherman’s buster? Well this one was inside a cage. Hopefully this lets us move on to something else as there’s really no point to this feud continuing. I’m assuming Helms either isn’t going to wrestle or will be facing Lee at some point in the future, either of which is only kind of interesting.

Maria runs into Gail Kim and talks about leading the Knockouts. Gail is REALLY QUITE SERIOUS and tells Maria to get in the ring if she wants to be a leader.

Havoc gives Rosemary something which he says will make her remember how they are together. Steve comes up and grabs it, resulting in them staring at each other.

Dollhouse vs. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky/???

Lethal Lockdown meaning WarGames with the fall not being allowed to take place until all six (in theory) are in. Gail and Jade start things off by trading hurricanranas and kicking each other off the cage walls. They collide in the middle and we take a break with no one new coming out yet. Back with Marti Bell joining after a “five minute” (read as over seven) period ends. Marti beats on Gail for a minute until Velvet Sky comes in to even things up. Velvet cleans house for another minute until Rebel completes the Dollhouse, meaning it’s time for weapons.

The Dollhouse starts beating up Velvet in the corner until the clock runs down again. Maria comes out to the apron but shakes her head and decides not to come in. Instead she locks the cage door, allowing Gail and Velvet to get beaten down. Velvet fights back by avoiding a charge in the corner and fighting back with a kendo stick. Gail gets a stick of her own and Rebel is pinballed between forearms and stick shots. Marti makes the save with a cookie sheet, only to have Gail hit Eat Defeat for two on Rebel. Jade’s package piledriver onto a chair puts Gail away at 14:50.

Rating: C. Well that happened. The Dollhouse and the Beautiful People will likely keep feuding because that’s how the Knockouts work. Gail will go on to be serious against anyone who comes into the division, even though nothing new ever comes from it. Maria could be interesting, but this was really just more long than good.

Kurt Angle gives Ethan a pep talk. It turns out that Ethan, who made Kurt’s life miserable, is a fan.

Decay video.

Here’s Kurt with something to say to the live crowd. He talks about having so many great matches in this country, including one last year where he won the TNA World Title. Lashley comes out to say the last year has been in his head, but he’s going to get revenge. He wants to have one more match with Kurt where they tear the roof off the house before he gets his revenge. The fans want Kurt to get the final win but Lashley knows he can win on Kurt’s best day. Kurt wants to go right now but Lashley walks away with a smile.

Eli Drake is in the ring and wants to talk about Odarg the Great. Grado was fired a few weeks back and now he’s running around with a mask and singlet on, trying to hide his identity. Cue Odarg, which Josh thinks is Grado spelled backwards and it’s time for a match.

Odarg the Great vs. Eli Drake

Josh complains about how everyone knows what’s going on and how they have to be stupid and sit through it. This coming from the man who called fans idiots for pointing out plot holes in TNA’s stories. Odarg can’t pull himself over the top so he pokes Eli in the face and goes for the door but Jesse Godderz holds it shut. The mask starts to come off so we pause a bit for Odarg to fix things. Drake slams him down and suplexes Odarg into the cage. It’s still too early to climb out though and Odarg brings him down with an electric chair.

Drake can’t crawl out so Jesse tries to help, only to have Mahabali Shera come out to take care of Jesse. The tug of war causes Drake’s trunks to come halfway down, meaning it’s time to censor stuff. Odarg hits a Cannonball in the corner and very slowly climbs over, allowing Drake to come up the cage. He grabs the mask but Odarg falls down and loses the mask for the win at 6:32.

Rating: D. I still like the story, though could they find a way to not have a guy with a Feast or Fired briefcase lose comedy matches? Grado continues to be one of the few really entertaining things around here right now, even though it might be due to how simple and stupid the story really is.

After his face appears on camera for at least fifteen seconds, Grado covers up and runs off, seemingly more worried about people seeing his bare chest.

Jimmy Havoc gets in Decay’s faces and calls himself hardcore. The beatdown ensues and Rosemary leaves his present (which looked like some kind of a mask) on top of him.

Eli Drake tells Billy Corrgan to have Grado (sans mask) thrown out and that’s exactly what the Harris Twins do.

Mike Bennett can’t believe that people think anything of Drew Galloway because he carries around a briefcase.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy is defending. Ethan draws a line on the mat and it’s time to slug it out. Matt’s chops don’t have much effect but Ethan’s splash hits the cage. It’s time for a chair with Matt getting in some good shots, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up as Matt is sent head first into the chair in the corner. Another Twist is broken up so Matt settles for the Side Effect and a two count.

The champ grabs a chain but walks into a TK3 (TKO) to give Ethan a chance. Tyrus blocks the way so Ethan flips him off, drawing the big man in. Ethan runs the ropes and has a free chance to get out but opts to clothesline Tyrus instead. A Big Ending drops Carter but he’s still able to reverse an attempt at being chained to the cage. Instead it’s Tyrus being chained up but Matt grabs a Twist of Fate for two.

Carter is back up in time to pull Matt off the cage to put both guys down. Matt is up first and hits a low blow, setting up a Twist of Fate with Ethan’s neck in a chair. Of course that’s not enough to finish it so Ethan kicks Matt low to even things up. A slow double crawl towards the door draws out Reby with a hammer but Spud comes out for the save. Then, in the swerve that isn’t a swerve, Spud slams the door on Carter’s head to turn heel and help Matt get out to retain at 11:39.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but it’s ANOTHER heel turn as Matt has to get another minion because he’s this iconic power or whatever line TNA is pushing this week. I do however like the fact that Spud didn’t just align with Carter again because Ethan turned. That’s some nice continuity, but sweet goodness I’m tired of these big heel turns when there are already about four faces on the roster as it is.

Post match Spud gives Carter a Conchairto on the chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t remember the last time I was this uninterested in TNA. I don’t know if it’s Josh being more annoying than Matt Striker could ever hope to be, the constant waiting on Kurt’s retirement match, everyone turning heel or the fact that Matt Hardy is on top, but this show is getting harder and harder to sit through. It’s not that the quality is horrible but I’m having a lot of trouble getting into any of the stories.

Overall this show just wasn’t very interesting. They’re trying really hard to turn Matt into this top level heel and for the life of me I don’t get the appeal. Like, are they really that obsessed with doing Matt vs. Jeff at Slammiversary and/or Bound For Glory? We really need to see that match again in 2016? Not a great show here, but that’s just what happens in TNA these days because they don’t have a roster deep enough to pull this off these days.

Results

Beer Money b. Eric Young/Bram – DWI to Bram

Trevor Lee b. Tigre Uno – Fisherman’s buster

Dollhouse b. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky – Package piledriver onto a chair to Kim

Odarg the Great b. Eli Drake – Odarg escaped the cage

Matt Hardy b. Ethan Carter III – Hardy escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2016
Location: MEN Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in England and Lockdown is in a week (not that TNA has bothered to tell us that just yet of course), likely with the returning Ethan Carter III challenging Matt Hardy in one of the new champ’s first title defenses. Other than that we may have more issues between Matt and Dixie Carter over Jeff Hardy’s future. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Tag Team Title situation with Decay stealing the Wolves’ belts and daring the champs to come get them in a Monster’s Ball this week.

Another recap shows us the ending of last week’s show with Ethan Carter III returning to chase off Matt Hardy.

Ethan comes up to Dixie in the back and says it’s now his mission to take the title back from Hardy. Dixie tells him that the rematch will be next week in Lockdown inside the steel cage. That’s fine with Ethan, but tonight he has something personal to take care of.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Ethan in the arena with something to say. He walked into this company two and a half years ago with a chip on his shoulder and he’s beaten everyone in front of him save for one name. That one man is all that matter to him right now and that is Matt Hardy. The one word that matters right now is rematch and Matt is going to be locked inside a cage with all of Ethan’s rage and vengeance.

Right now though, Ethan’s fists need to start punching someone and he can’t think of anyone better than Tyrus. Maybe Tyrus is breast feeding Maxel Hardy but get out here right now and fight. Tyrus comes out to say Ethan doesn’t want this. However, Tyrus thinks Ethan is afraid to be alone and he got to a new level with Tyrus. They were close enough for Tyrus to call him boss, but now Tyrus knows everything about him. Ethan asks if Tyrus is done and now the brawl is on.

Tyrus takes over and punches Carter up the aisle, only to be sent into the barricade a few times. This brings out Matt for the double beatdown and it’s time for a chair. Ethan fights both of them off though and cleans house with a chair. Matt issues the challenge for the tag match later tonight.

Here are Eric Young and Bram with something to say. Young asks if there’s anyone in the crowd tough enough to take his King of the Mountain Title from him. One person who certainly won’t be doing it is Jeff Hardy, but this brings out Beer Money. OF COURSE IT BRINGS OUT BEER MONEY because we haven’t had this story go on long enough yet. Storm accepts the challenge and we’re ready to go.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. James Storm

Young is defending and gets taken down in a hurry with Storm sending him into the corner. Storm gets sent to the floor though, allowing Eric to take over back inside. An elbow to the face gets two and a neckbreaker gets the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Storm fights up with some clotheslines. Roode intercepts Bram and all four guys brawl to the floor for the double countout at 4:07.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness I can’t stand Eric Young. I don’t remember being more miserable when someone comes on my TV. I get that he’s been around for a long time but this feud with Bobby Roode and now Beer Money I guess has been going on for years now. There’s no reason left for them to fight other than “well they’ve been fighting for a while now.” Find something else for them to do or stop putting them on TV because it’s been old for a long time.

All four fight into the crowd.

Drew Galloway offers to be Ethan’s partner. They have common goals but Ethan wants to stand alone tonight.

Back from a break and THEY’RE STILL FIGHTING. Just put them in the cage match like you know you’re going to next week so we can hopefully end this feud already. We cut away as the fighting continues.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria to discuss the people that have come across Mike so far. Kurt Angle hit him from behind and then ran away. Drew Galloway is stuck with a ticking time bomb called a briefcase. Tonight though, Mike wants to face one of the UK’s own.

Mike Bennett vs. Mandrews

Mandrews takes him down with an early armdrag and we’re already at the first shooting star, only to have Mike raise his knees. We hit the early chinlock for a few moments before Mike flapjacks him for two. Mandrews comes back with a spinning DDT and a standing corkscrew moonsault for two of his own. Bennett crotches him on top and hits a hanging Diamond Cutter, followed by the Miracle in Progress for the pin at 3:46.

Rating: D+. I’m not wild on the Miracle gimmick but at least he looked more dominant for a change. Bennett could go somewhere, assuming he can actually outlive Matt Hardy’s World Title reign. Not much to see here but it’s always fun to watch a pest like Mandrews get beaten down for a bit.

Post match Bennett keeps pounding on Mandrews until Drew Galloway makes the save.

Rosemary talks about leaving the Wolves lying in a pool of their own blood with nothing to wear. Abyss promises that she’ll be the most beautiful woman at the ball. The Decay is in a cage when someone comes up to say he remembers Rosemary. He blows a kiss and says he’ll see them soon. Apparently that would be British wrestler Jimmy Havoc.

Post break and Bennett beats down Galloway and Mandrews in the back.

Odarg the Great (notice the spelling) is coming.

Matt Hardy and Tyrus threaten Rockstar Spud to not be Ethan’s partner later.

We look back at Angle vs. Lashley from last year.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Decay

Monster’s Ball (street fight) with the Wolves defending. They brawl in the aisle to start and the weapons are quickly brought in as we take an early break. Such a stupid WWE move. Back with the Wolves in control and grabbing a ladder. Abyss’ ankle gets caught in the ladder but Rosemary mists Davey to break up the top rope double stomp, allowing Abyss to pelt a chair at Eddie, knocking him down through a table.

Abyss pulls out Janice and before I can type “and he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD”, he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD. That means more violence as Abyss piles up chairs until Eddie gets up for the save, setting up sunset bomb onto the chairs.

Steve and Davey get back in and the champs hit the clown in the back with a chair, setting up a top rope double stomp. Abyss starts cleaning house and brings out the bag of tacks. Pope: “We always think it’s the tacks but you never know!” Yeah Pope we do know, because it’s always the tacks. Eddie kicks Abyss out to the floor, allowing Davey to suicide dive the monster into the barbed wire board. Steve blasts Eddie with a chair off camera and puts his head inside a chair.

Rosemary gets in the ring to break up something like a Conchairto though as she pours the tacks (yeah they were tacks, because they’re always tacks) onto Eddie’s head first. The Conchairto misses though because of course it does, allowing Eddie to use Janice to knock a chair into Steve’s face. Richards kisses Rosemary (there’s some sexual assault for you) but it’s a trick to suck the mist out of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s brilliant or ridiculous. Whatever they call Chasing the Dragon onto the chairs puts Steve away at 14:33.

Rating: C+. Much like almost everything else on this show, I’ve seen this so many times before. Like I said a few times here, you knew it was going to be tacks because it’s always tacks. You knew Abyss was going into the barbed wire board because he always goes into the barbed wire board. Finally you knew Janice wasn’t hitting anyone because it never does. The match is still entertaining, but they haven’t changed the formula in so long that it’s beyond stale. Oh and thanks for coming Decay. Can we just release Steve now?

Spud offers to be Ethan’s partner but Ethan still wants to do it alone.

Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs. Jade/Marti Bell

Speaking of things we’ve seen time after time. It’s a brawl to start with Marti scoring off a Samoan Drop to Kim, followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two. Gail gets beaten down a little more until Jade runs into a boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Madison as everything breaks down. Jade’s dive is broken up by Gail’s forearm, allowing Madison to roll Marti up for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. So? The feud is just going to continue because the Dollhouse has the numbers advantage and for some reason they’ll beat everyone down and re-establish dominance that they lose again the next week because they almost never win anything. I’m sure a former Beautiful People member will make the save and set up a six Knockout cage match that only TNA’s hardest of hardcore fans will find interesting because that’s how the Knockouts work.

Post match, the Dollhouse beats down Gail and Madison until Velvet Sky makes the save. Velvet wants Lethal Lockdown next week.

Mahabali Shera is back and has a new friend in Odarg the Great, who says he’s a good guy. It’s clearly Grado as the mask is similar to Vader’s old style.

Eric Young/Bram and Beer Money are still fighting in the back. Pope: “They’ll get tired in a while.” The villains finally start walking away but Beer Money tells the cameraman that they want a cage match next week. So I’m supposed to care about a ten minute match after they just fought for over an hour?

Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake vs. Mahabali Shera/Odarg the Great

Well he was coming an hour ago, then he appeared and now he’s having a match. He even comes out to Grado’s music and doing Grado’s strut, though he’s billed from Parts Unknown. Pope even gets in a Midnight Rider reference as the match begins without a bell that I could hear. Shera drop toeholds Drake down and ties Eli’s arms up to make him do the dance.

Jesse has some better luck by taking Shera to the mat and setting up something like a Demolition Decapitator. Back up and the hot tag brings in Odarg to clean house as everything breaks down. A Sky High gets two on Jesse as Drake goes after the mask. Odarg pulls it off instead and rolls Drake up (looking him right in the face) for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. Maybe it’s how much I’ve disliked this show but I had a good time with this. I can go with comedy much easier when everyone is in on the joke and they’re just having fun with it. I mean, it’s not like the Feast or Fired briefcase has had strict rules before so this is hardly a stretch. If nothing else it’s the most I’ve ever been entertained by Grado and it gives the talented Drake something to do.

Drake’s shocked look post match is great.

Post break Eli wants Grado at Lockdown but Odarg comes up to say he’ll be Drake’s opponent.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus vs. Ethan Carter III

Handicap to start. The fans are doing this awkward wave to Carter’s music and it’s really not working. Tyrus starts for the team but gets knocked back into the corner for an early beating. A t-bone suplex sends Carter flying though and we take a break. Back with Matt dropping a middle rope elbow to Ethan but Rockstar Spud comes out to be Carter’s partner. Ethan scores with a clothesline but stays in to fight Matt as the fans want Spud. A dropkick puts Matt down and the hot tag brings in Spud who actually doesn’t turn on Carter.

There goes the bowtie but Spud beats on Tyrus instead, allowing Matt to take him down with something like Big Show’s Final Cut. The Heart Punch puts Spud down but Tyrus misses a charge in the corner, allowing Spud to grab an Underdog. The real hot tag brings in Carter to face Hardy as everything breaks down. Ethan dives at both guys but they fail to catch him, leaving Carter to crash in an ugly looking landing. Back in and the Side Effect gets two on Ethan, followed by a Twist of Fate to Spud. The 1%er puts Matt away at 12:54.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but I don’t buy the idea of Spud being fine with Carter less than a year after everything that happened. If there’s one thing TNA does well, it’s remember continuity like that so, as predictable as it might be, I’m kind of hoping Spud turns on Carter next week.

Overall Rating: D. This show got better in the second hour but the first hour was one of the least interesting (which is far different than worst) offerings from TNA that I’ve seen in a long time. It showcased so many of their problems: acting like WWE, setting up someone like Decay and then having them lose in their first big match and above all else, a bunch of stuff that we’ve seen before. That’s where TNA loses me: I really have no interest in seeing the same tropes that they’ve covered just a year or so ago. This got better later on, but it really had nowhere to go but up.

Results

James Storm vs. Eric Young went to a double countout

Mike Bennett b. Mandrews – Miracle in Progress

Wolves b. Decay – Brainbuster onto a chair to Steve

Odarg the Great/Mahabali Shera b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – Rollup to Drake

Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Matt Hardy – 1%er to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

http://411mania.com/wrestling/tna-releases-awesome-kong/

No surprise there after the Reby Sky issue.  Maybe, just maybe, this might open a door for TNA to make Gail Kim the featured Knockout.  I mean, it’s been a full hour since we’ve heard about how AMAZING she really is.

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s another big night as we have the final showdown between Ethan Carter III and Matt Hardy for the TNA World Title. This time it’s a last man standing match with Carter defending his title and Hardy putting his TNA career on the line. Other than that we might find out the latest name on Kurt Angle’s farewell tour as he approaches his final match at the end of the month. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Matt Hardy’s rise through the World Title Series, only to slip up in the finals against Carter. This set up their latest match for the title with Hardy offering to put his career on the line.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Jeff Hardy (of course) to call out his brother (of course) for a chat. Jeff talks about how they became famous by being risk takers and diving off ladders. He may be the artist in the family but he would never be where he was without Matt. Tonight feels off though and Matt thinks it’s because his career is on the line. Matt talks about how he’s let everyone down but tonight is the night to gamble. Wrestling is like a game of chess and tonight Matt knows he can checkmate Carter.

Tonight the dream comes true but here’s Tyrus to interrupt. A dream can turn into a nightmare with a single change. Matt will be taken out by Carter tonight but no one has dealt with Jeff yet. Tyrus has done everything in this company for business, but tonight he wants to settle a personal issue with Jeff. Let’s do it right now.

Jeff Hardy vs. Tyrus

Tyrus throws him into the corner to start but Jeff botches something off the top, sending him down and tweaking his knee. The big guy slowly starts working on the knee by wrapping it around the ropes and post. The referee tries to make the save but gets shoved down to DQ Tyrus at 2:58.

Jeff gives Tyrus a Twisting Stunner post match.

Feast or Fired video as this year’s edition is next week. This year the X-Division Title seems to have been replaced by the King of the Mountain Title.

The Wolves have beaten everyone but now they want Beer Money. Crazzy Steve comes in and grabs Davey’s belt but Abyss jumps the Wolves from behind. So now it’s Steve/Abyss as a team? Uh, sure why not.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Kim is defending as we’re flashing back to Bound For Glory. Oh wait it’s ok because Kong has backup now. Kong runs her over to start and grabs a sleeper for a spinning throw. That’s a new one. We hit the neck crank (that’s not a new one) for a bit before Kong headbutts her into the corner. A running splash misses though and Kim puts on something like a Black Widow on the mat, followed by a rollup for two.

Kim drops the giant with a tornado DDT but Jade pulls her out to the floor. Gail gets back in but dives onto the Dollhouse instead of going after Kong but a neckbreaker gets two. Jade breaks it up with a distraction though, which draws out the Beautiful People to go after the Dollhouse. Kong almost hits Jade by mistake and it’s Eat Defeat, followed by launching Jade onto Kong, to retain Gail’s title at 5:45.

Rating: D. So we have Gail Kim, the Wolves, Carter and the Hardys on top. As usual, it feels like these people have been the champions or near the top of the card for the better part of ever. Kim is still entertaining in the ring and as polished as any performer in the history of the division but there’s nothing left for her to do. Nothing. We’ve covered all of this and I really have no interest in seeing Kim vs. Kong all over again, no matter how awesome it was eight and half years ago.

We look back at Jeff getting injured earlier in case you have a really short attention span.

Here’s Beer Money to call out Bram/Eric Young for a fight. Instead they get Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz who say it’s not 2006 and Beer Money’s time is done. Storm semi-quotes Roddy Piper (“I’m all out of beer.”) and the brawl is on.

Beer Money vs. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz

They slug it out on the floor to start until it’s Drake beating on James in the ring. That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Roode to clean house, including a Hart Attack on Drake and a catapult into a DDT on Godderz. The double suplex on Drake sets up the name shouting, followed by DWI to put Godderz away at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Yeah fine. This whole thing is about setting up Beer Money vs. the Wolves and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s going to be a big match and probably really good once it happens but the winners (likely the Wolves) are going to need a fresh set of challengers. If the best they’ve got is Abyss/Crazzy Steve, they’re in big trouble.

We look at Jeff injuring his knee for the third time in forty minutes.

Matt tells Jeff to go to the hospital so the knee doesn’t get hurt even worse.

Here’s Kurt Angle to address his farewell tour. Last week he had a five star match with Drew Galloway (not really but it was good). Now he’s not sure who to face next because there’s a lot of great talent in the back. This brings out Lashley, who talks about Kurt getting him into professional wrestling because he saw something special in Lashley.

They finally had their big showdown last year and it was a great match. It was the best of times and it was the worst of times for Lashley because he was in the ring with Kurt Angle but he lost. Now Lashley needs one more match to get this out of his system. That’s fine with Angle, who says it’s going to be real. This was fine.

Post break a woman comes up to Lashley and whispers that his pain is her pleasure.

Mike Bennett vs. Pepper Parks

This is Bennett’s debut on Impact and Parks gets a jobber entrance. They slowly walk around a bit until Parks shoves him into the corner. Bennett superkicks him down and hammers away as Maria seems to approve. A pair of suplexes puts Parks down again and Divine Intervention (Samoan Driver) gives Mike the pin at 2:59.

Post match Bennett talks about building a kingdom of miracles where everyone says “yes we do.”

Ethan says this ends tonight. Matt has his wife and son but Ethan has his family in Tyrus. This week, Matt Hardy goes home in this, and the camera zooms out to show that they’re sitting in an ambulance.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending and this is last man standing. Matt jumps him during the big match intros but Carter spears him right back and hammers away. Hardy is quickly on the floor (some hero) and Ethan drives him into various objects for an early four. A suplex onto the ramp allows Ethan to set up a pair of tables. Matt puts Ethan on both of them but gets caught on the top with a right hand. Instead Matt suplexes him back inside and we take a break.

Back with a ladder in the ring and Matt scoring with the Side Effect. Matt gets another table but takes way too long setting up the ladder, allowing Carter to grab a Russian legsweep. The fans are split on who to cheer for her as Ethan goes up and splashes Matt through the table. Matt gets up and hits a quick Twist of Fate for about seven, followed by a low blow. Now the fans are booing Hardy and Matt isn’t pleased.

Ethan is up at seven so Matt gives him another Twist of Fate through one of the tables at ringside. That’s only good for a nine though so Matt puts a chair around Ethan’s neck for another Twist of Fate. Carter is bleeding from the mouth but gets up at nine again, only to fall at ten.

With nothing else working, Matt goes to his wife and gets a hammer out of her bag. Ethan ducks the death shot and hits Matt low, setting up a 1%er. Cue Tyrus to turn on Carter with a Big Ending, which gives Matt another nine count. Ok you’ve done the big heel spot and you did the turn. Just change the stupid title already. Ethan goes after Tyrus but Matt blasts him with the belt, finally giving him the win at 19:45.

Rating: C+. It’s a good brawl but yeah, you’re supposed to get hyped about a power alliance between a heel nostalgia act and the former Brodus Clay. I have no idea who they think this is supposed to appeal to but at the end of the day, this is their big idea to get people to watch. Is it any wonder why their audience has shrunk so much?

Post break, Matt says he beat the unbeatable for himself. He came back here to help but he’s done listening to all these people because none of them matter. All that matters is the title and his wife because this is the era of Big Money Matt. With Carter still down (that was one heck of a belt shot), Matt gives him a Conchairto to close the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The future of this company looks less and less interesting every week. So now I have to watch the usual suspects go after Matt Hardy before we get the HUGE, yes HUGE I SAY, showdown between Matt and Jeff, likely all the way at Bound For Glory? The rest of the show was good enough but they’re running through a lot of material in a really short amount of time again and that’s often a problem in wrestling promotions. Decent show, but good night their future looks like a mess.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Tyrus via DQ when Tyrus shoved the referee

Gail Kim b. Awesome – Pin after throwing Jade onto Kongo

Beer Money b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – DWI to Godderz

Mike Bennett b. Pepper Parks – Divine Intervention

Matt Hardy b. Ethan Carter III – Carter couldn’t answer the ten count

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 29, 2015
Hosts: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second half of the Best of 2015 show, meaning this one is likely to focus on Bound For Glory and the tournament. Last week’s show was kind of all over the place so it could be interesting to see what they do with this. There’s always a chance of a lot of promos for next week too. Let’s get to it.

Josh and Pope get right to the point and send us to Matt Hardy challenging EC3 to a Full Metal Mayhem match.

From August 5.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending in Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC. The champ takes over early on with a chair to the back before sitting down so he can punch Matt from eye level. That earns him a Side Effect through the chair and it’s already ladder time, which goes upside Ethan’s face. The ladder is laid across the middle corner so Carter can be rammed face first as Matt is in full control.

It’s time to go up but it’s WAY too early on, allowing Ethan to chair Matt in the leg. Why would you ever go up that early on? Back from a break with Matt breaking up Carter’s attempt at the belt by sending Ethan down into the buckle. Matt isn’t done yet as he drives the ladder into Ethan’s crotch to prevent another generation of Carter’s from populating the earth. That’s still not enough for Matt to get the title so he plants Ethan with the Twist of Fate.

A moonsault through the table is broken up with a quick crotching and a powerbomb through the wood but Matt is up again with a powerbomb of his own to break up Carter’s climb. They head outside with Matt bridging a ladder between the steps and the ring, only to get slammed head first onto the ladder. Since we haven’t had enough near climbs yet, Matt makes another save and hits a Side Effect onto the apron.

A guillotine legdrop drives Carter through the table on the floor but Matt takes way too long to climb, allowing Ethan to chair him in the leg. They already have to repeat spots for the saves? Carter climbs up, shoves Matt down and pulls the title off the hook to retain at 20:10.

Rating: B. Fun enough match but there was no reason for this to involve ladders and weapons other than so TNA could have a match involving ladders and weapons. It’s their first match against each other for the title and they used the big gimmick already. Matt became #1 contender for thrown together reasons and that’s not how you want to have a major match like this. It was fun, but I have no desire to watch it again. At least Carter won on his own for a change too.

We look at Mahabali Shera splitting from James Storm.

From May 29.

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

This is match #2 in a best of five series with the Wolves up 1-0. Roode throws Aries through the ropes for a suicide dive to start but Davey runs inside for a dive of his own on Aries. The Wolves double team Roode inside until Austin gets back in and things settle down a bit. Edwards chops away at Aries but Austin punches him in the face, setting up a tag to Roode for chops of his own.

The Heels (who aren’t heels) load up what looked like a Sharpshooter but Aries gets kicked into his partner, allowing the Wolves to double team even more. Davey puts Rode into a reverse figure four (with Roode facing the mat and Davey facing up) for a unique looking submission. The German suplex into the jackknife rollup gets two as the announcers are overhyping the heck out of this. Eddie puts Roode in a chinlock for a bit until Bobby fights up and makes the hot tag to Aries.

Austin speeds things up and snaps both Wolves’ throats across the top, setting up a missile dropkick to Edwards. There’s the Last Chancery on Davey and a Crossface to Eddie but both Wolves make the ropes. Something like Chasing the Dragon but with a Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster gets two on Aries but he pops right back up for the running dropkick in the corner, followed by the 450 to Eddie with Davey making the save. Another Last Chancery has Edwards in trouble but Richards comes in off the top with a double stomp for the save, setting up the powerbomb into a Backstabber to pin Austin at 11:09.

Rating: B. This was straight out of the indy playbook with the entire match being action from bell to bell. That sounds cool on paper, but between everything going all over the place and Josh telling us about two minutes in that this was a classic and something we were going to remember forever, the match kind of dulled on me very quickly. It’s definitely fun, but I prefer building up to the insane finish instead of just having it run the entire match.

Clips of Jeff Jarrett’s Hall of Fame induction.

Clips of Mr. Anderson beating Bram on August 19.

Recap of the GFW heel turn, setting up the war with TNA.

Very quick clip of Lethal Lockdown with TNA beating GFW.

Clip of Tigre Uno winning the X-Division Title.

Clip of EC3 beating Matt Hardy again to earn Jeff Hardy as his personal assistant.

Clip of the Dollhouse beating up Gail Kim in a cage.

We see Brooke winning the Knockouts Title.

Clip of Team Young winning the Hardcore War and Young stealing Chris Melendez’s leg.

We look at some of the things EC3 has put Jeff Hardy through.

Another video on Storm vs. Shera.

From September 16.

Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Lei’D Tapa vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Brooke is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Gail and Brooke go after the giants to start and are quickly thrown to the side. Tapa and Kong slug it out until Brooke and Gail beat on Tapa for a bit. Kong adds a splash and we take an early break. Back with Tapa dropping Gail face first off the barricade but Kong dives off the apron to crush Tapa with a cross body.

Gail and Brooke fight in the ring until Kong misses a charge at Tapa and takes out the champ. Tapa slams Gail down inside but Kim kicks away at the knee. Kong comes back in with a top rope splash to Tapa. Brooke’s top rope elbow hits Kong and all four are down. The giants are sent to the floor, leaving Brooke to try a sunset flip on Gail, who sits down on it for the pin and the title at 12:21.

Rating: C-. Who else? Who else could it have been but Gail Kim? She fits in so perfectly with the theme of the same tired ideas that we’ve seen dozens of times in TNA as they seem to be on their last legs (the most recent time that is), so why not just put the belt on her again so she can bore the fans to sleep one last time.

We see the ending of Kim beating Kong at Bound For Glory.

Clip of the Revolution finally splitting and Shere beating Storm.

We see the end of Ultimate X from Bound For Glory.

Matt Hardy won the World Title at Bound For Glory.

We wrap things up with a five minute highlight reel of the tournament.

Overall Rating: D. Well that happened. This was even more random than last week with the tournament, as in the last quarter of the year, barely being touched on until the end of the show. I get the idea that it’s a Best Of, but they can’t even show a few matches from the tournament? Josh raved about how great Edwards vs. Richards was for a month and it gets three seconds in the highlight package? This was another bizarre set of choices, but to be fair none of that is going to matter after Tuesday when the tournament wraps up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

TNA World Cup of Wrestling III
Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

Dang it I knew I’d get back to these one day. For some reason (likely because no one likes them) these are getting harder and harder to find online and the best I can do is usually two and a half months after the air date. In this case it’s another team competition, which is usually one of the better ideas they have. There will be four teams of six wrestlers each. All of the teams are going to face each other once, plus a four way with each of the captains. The teams with the most points (1 point per win) meet in an elimination tag for the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

No opening video for a change.

It’s time for Jeremy Borash to waste a lot of time by holding the live draft. We open with the introductions of the four captains:

Bobby Roode

Eric Young

Ethan Carter III

Jeff Hardy

Josh rips on JB for reading off a clipboard but praises Carter despite him carrying one of his own. Also ignore the part where Josh says Carter will make a great World Champion, despite winning the title a month before this aired. ALSO ignore the fact that Hardy was out with a broken leg three months before this aired.

We keep wasting time with an opening statement from each captain. Ethan (with his arm in the big brace) says he’s been thinking about his loss last year at the World Cup and he can’t wait to make it up. Young doesn’t want to hear from the fans because he won this last year. Roode and Hardy keep it more simple by saying they’ll win.

Now here’s the thing: it’s going to take a LONG time to get through the picks so I’m not going to say “this person picked this person” step by step. Instead, here are the teams in full with the captains listed first:

Bobby Roode, Lashley, Austin Aries, Magnus, Mr. Anderson, Taryn Terrell

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, James Storm, Awesome Kong, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E.

Eric Young, Bram, Abyss, Havok, Samuel Shaw, Manik

Jeff Hardy, Gunner, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Rockstar Spud

There were only two funny bits here: Carter picked Jeremy Borash first. Carter: “Just kidding it’s Tyrus.” Second, when Robbie came out, he danced around, kissed Kong, and shouted I’M NOT LAST!!! Also Josh thought Roode was going to pick Hornswoggle when he said from Green Bay, Wisconsin. As usual, Josh isn’t funny.

The picks are done but JB says the opening match still isn’t ready to start.

Quick rules explanation.

Bram vs. Austin Aries

The first opening bell: 28 minutes into the show, leaving us with about two hours and twelve minutes to get through ten matches. Aries is quickly dumped out to the floor and sent into the barricade as the announcers are actually still on topic. I give it ten minutes. Aries gets smart by taking out the knee as Josh is showing JB a photo of him at Manchester United’s stadium. Dang they didn’t even make it three minutes.

The Last Chancery sends Bram going to the ropes for a break and things settle down again. Bram stomps on the chest to break up a sunset flip attempt as about four fans chant ANGRY JESUS. Off to a chinlock on Aries for a bit before he grabs a second Last Chancery. So the first one was the next to Last Chancery?

Back up and Aries goes to the apron to send Bram face first into alternating buckles over and over. A missile dropkick sets up the running corner dropkick but Bram gets a boot up for a block. An Edge-O-Matic gets two for Bram and he starts pounding on Aries’ back for good measure. Bram slowly kicks at him and is quickly rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad match until a pretty slow ending. Aries continues to be one of the best acts in the company’s history and of course he’s now gone because they decided to keep going with Angle and Hardy on top instead of going back to him in the years since he lost the title.

Team Roode – 1

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Team Carter – 0

EC3 lists off the members of his team and promises to win. Kong looks terrified when the BroMans (with DJZ) start talking. This is even more filler.

James Storm vs. Lashley

Storm has Khoya (Mahabali Shera) with him. Feeling out process to start with Storm dropping down for some pushups. He can’t throw Lashley around though so James bails to the floor and meets with Khoya. The instructions seem to work as Khoya grabs the leg, sending Lashley outside after him. That’s about it for the success as Lashley shoulders Storm down inside and rams him into the buckle a few times.

Khoya blocks a spear attempt and Storm finally takes over with a Backstabber. Storm’s enziguri starts a bad cowbell chant but Lashley fires off right hands to make his comeback. Neither finisher can hit and Storm gets two off a neckbreaker. A spinebuster should set up Lashley’s spear but another Khoya distraction….doesn’t matter as the spear connects to give Lashley the win.

Rating: D+. Now we’re getting into the standard One Night Only match formula: short matches that don’t have time to go anywhere and have no heat on them because they’re part of some big show long idea, meaning this really doesn’t mean a ton. You can feel the lack of caring in the crowd though and it’s not a good sign going forward.

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Team Carter – 0

Storm blames Khoya for the loss and demands that Khoya bow to him.

Roode thinks his team will win.

BroMans vs. Magnus/Mr. Anderson

Jesse and Magnus get things going with Magnus taking over off a wristlock. Anderson comes in and works on the arm as well until it’s off to Robbie, who walks into a hiptoss. The announcers debate game shows as Magnus gets two off a suplex. Some heel double teaming lets Jesse take over and he actually wins a slugout against Magnus. As you might expect, the announcers spent the segment trying to figure out what to call Magnus and Mickie James.

Robbie chinlocks Magnus for a bit before some elbows to the BroMans’ faces allow for the tag to Anderson. I can’t really call it hot as the fans didn’t seem to notice but it was in fact a tag. Everything breaks down but DJZ distracts the referee. Anderson goes after him and gets hairspray in the eyes, allowing Robbie to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Worst match of the show so far but a lot of that is due to Anderson and Magnus having gone through the motions for the last year (or several years in Anderson’s case). That being said, the ending makes sense as former World Tag Team Champions should be able to beat a thrown together team with no history.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 1

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Young says his team will win.

Manik/Abyss vs. Rockstar Spud/Davey Richards

This could be decent. Davey and Manik trade some basic stuff to start before it’s off to Spud vs. Abyss. Spud goes right at him and has about as much success as you might expect. A middle rope forearm staggers Abyss but Spud has to bite his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Spud actually puts him down with a missile dropkick and Abyss looks stunned.

Manik tags himself in and gets punched out, only to have Abyss run both good guys over. It’s Spud in trouble now as JB talks about James Storm’s stable. Davey leads a KILL SPUD KILL chant as the Revolution guys take turns on chinlocks. The announcers make their picks for the whole competition. I’m kind of stunned that they’ve stayed on topic this long.

Spud crawls through Manik’s legs to make the tag off to Davey for the rapid fire kicks in the corner. Everything breaks down and the giant is sent to the floor, allowing Davey and Spud to double team Manik in the corner. Abyss takes a suicide dive from Davey, leaving Spud to hit the Underdog on Manik. A top rope double stomp gives Davey the easy pin.

Rating: C. Very simple idea here but the match worked well enough all around. Richards and Spud were a good underdog team and fought off a regular pairing. Abyss is good for a monster who can come in at any time and play his normal role as well as anyone else. Totally watchable match here which is as good as it gets around here.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 1

Team Hardy – 1

Team Young – 0

Hardy says his team will win.

Crazzy Steve vs. Samuel Shaw

I’ve had nightmares about things like this before. Steve comes in with a zombie cymbal playing monkey around his neck. Shawn frames the monkey but Steve won’t let him touch it. The announcers talk about Brian Stiffler’s pierced nipples because of course they do. Now it’s off to a discussion of mall stores because they like Steve’s belt. Shaw shoves Steve down and crawls for the monkey but Steve crawls over as well and shakes his head no. The fans (save for one guy) are silent for most of this.

Steve bites Shaw’s face and it’s time to play hot potato with the monkey. Now Shaw crawls after the referee as Josh sings Taryn Terrell’s theme music. Shaw hates Steve and I hate the horrible punches that Steve uses for his comeback. With Steve down, Shaw picks up the monkey and goes up, only to miss a guillotine legdrop. Fans: “LET’S GO MONKEY!” Steve picks up the monkey but the referee takes it away, setting up a low blow and Shaw’s standing choke for the win.

Rating: F. A little over a year ago, Bully Ray and Rockstar Spud beat the Dirty Heels in the funniest match I’ve ever seen. That match worked because Ray and Spud work really well together as an oddball combination. It felt like they were told to go out there and be funny for ten minutes while being allowed to pick the details themselves. This felt like they were given a bad idea and had no idea how to make it work, which is why comedy in wrestling rarely works.

Team Roode – 2

Team Hardy – 1

Team Carter – 1

Team Young – 1

Havok vs. Awesome Kong

Hardcore (not announced to the crowd) because I don’t think anyone wants to see these two have a regular match. They start fighting in the aisle as you would expect them to as Kong takes over off a trashcan shot. Josh: “No need for Duke Droese here.” Havok’s weapon shots knock Kong into the ring but Kong goes all ninja by spinning a pipe around. That’s the coolest thing I’ve seen on these shows in forever.

Of course the fans want tables as Havok beats Kong down again. Here’s a ladder because these two don’t listen to the fans. Josh starts asking about having water infused with fruit. Seriously where does he get this stuff? Kong “chokeslams” Havok onto the ladder (read as she shoved Havok down) for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can’t call it a failure when it had the ninja stick thing from Kong but this was another match limited by the time. Then again these two have never had the chemistry that people expected from them. Granted that could be due to the fact that big power wrestlers like this ALMOST NEVER WORK WELL TOGETHER but people want to see it anyway for reasons I’ll never understand.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 2

Team Hardy – 1

Team Young – 1

Josh thinks that leaderboard looks like Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy on top of a golf tournament. I’d ask what that means but I’m sure it’s just me being an internet nerd.

Tyrus vs. Gunner

I had forgotten Gunner was a thing. Gunner charges right at the monster to start as Josh talks about Tyrus always being in the gym. I think he meant Gunner but who am I to doubt Josh Matthews? Tyrus slams him down and puts on a bearhug. Announcers’ topic: celebrities who Tyrus has worked for as a bodyguard, including Pete “Marinovich”.

I think Josh meant Maravich but…..dang he’s said so many stupid things tonight that I’m running out of insults. Gunner’s powerslam fails and it’s back to the bearhug. Josh keeps up his stupid namedropping and Gunner finally slams him. Josh: “Like when Hogan slammed Andre.” Not that it matters as the spike to the throat gives Tyrus the pin. Josh: “If Tyrus had been in Ford’s Theater that night, President Lincoln wouldn’t have been assassinated.” JB: “Yeah but he would be really old.”

Rating: D-. Another bad match as Josh has gone from annoying to obnoxious on commentary. I mean…..dang he sounds stupid with so many of the things he says. The commentary on these shows have always been a disaster and that’s the case here too. The match was bad again because they don’t have time to do anything and clearly don’t care in the slightest.

Team Carter – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 1

Team Hardy – 1

Taryn says she’s ready to compete like a champion.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn grabs a headlock and headscissors to start as they seem to actually be trying more than anyone has in the last few matches. Gail gets up and sends her face first into the buckle, which Josh says we can experience by running into a tree backwards. Both women crash out to the floor as Josh talks about subliminal messages based on the IMPACT ring skirts. They can’t even afford a ONE NIGHT ONLY ring skirt to make this seem a bit more important? I mean, it looks like the least important show ever so it can’t be that difficult.

Now we debate whether counting for a DQ should count towards a countout as Taryn grabs a half crab. The silence from the crowd here is borderline eerie. Josh: “What’d you have for lunch today?” Taryn’s middle rope clothesline gets two as Josh writes the foreword to JB’s book. Gail misses a charge and hits the floor again but Russian legsweeps Taryn into the barricade. You would think she would be smarter than that, being a WRESTLER and all. Back in and Taryn fires off some clotheslines, showing some of the better fire all night. Gail ducks a high cross body though and counters the Taryn Cutter into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Maybe it’s Taryn being gorgeous, maybe it’s the idea of Jeremy Borash book actually sounding appealing or maybe it’s the effort put in here for a change but this was one of the more entertaining matches on the show so far. Of course that’s on a sliding scale because this show is another disaster that is clearly just here to fill in a slow but take what you can get.

Team Carter – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Hardy – 2

Team Young – 1

Roode promises he’ll win the captains match.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

One fall to a finish and no tags to start which makes things even better. Josh incorrectly says Team Young is mathematically eliminated from going to the finals as everyone goes after Eric in the corner. Carter and Young are sent to the floor, leaving Roode to work on Hardy’s arm. The taping schedule becomes an issue again here as Josh goes on a rant about how Carter should be World Champion already.

Carter comes back in and switches places with Roode, leaving Josh to insult JB for trying to be British. A belly to belly gets Eric a two count on Hardy and Josh freaks out that Carter is bleeding. With Roode still nowhere to be seen, Carter and Young start arguing over who is going to pin Hardy. In other words, it’s the same uninspired stuff you’ve seen every single time you watch a multi-man match.

Roode comes back in with some running clotheslines but Carter breaks up the comeback. Hardy breaks up a piledriver attempt from Young so Eric piledrives Roode instead. Back up and Eric bites Hardy’s head, actually not drawing any jokes from Josh. With Roode and Carter fighting on the floor, Hardy hits a quick Twist of Fate to pin Young.

Rating: C. The star power helped but this was every multi-man match you’ve seen in a very long time. Hardy going to the finals was pretty obvious and at least the fans reacted a little bit for the pin. Young losing is almost always a good thing to see as well but this was just a dull match that has been covered to death already.

Team Carter – 3

Team Hardy – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 1

Carter beats Hardy down post match.

Long recap of the whole show thus far.

Team Hardy vs. Team Carter

Jeff Hardy, Rockstar Spud, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Gunner

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, James Storm, Awesome Kong

Survivor Series rules, Storm has Khoya with him and Carter has written HARDY on the bandage over his head. The bell rings but Team Carter is still huddling, allowing Khoya to slip Storm a weapon. Hardy and Carter start things off so Carter tags out to Robbie before any contact. That’s another idea that we’ve seen a hundred times and it’s just as tired as it’s always been.

One shot sends Robbie off to Godderz for a tag as we’re already two minutes into this. Gunner comes in and we finally get a lockup. One shoulder sends Jesse bailing to the corner and it’s off to Carter. That goes nowhere either and it’s off to Tyrus because we didn’t see enough of this match earlier. Just like earlier, Tyrus takes him into the corner and it’s off to Storm……who tags Kong in fifteen seconds later.

Before she can even get both feet in the ring, Jesse tags himself back in. Oh and how lucky we are as we get to see Steve. Wristlocks are exchanged and Steve mostly headscissors him over, giving him the move of the match so far. Now it’s off to Richards vs. Tyrus and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY STEVE COMES BACK IN AGAIN. Just freaking wrestle already! Thankfully Tyrus spikes Steve down for the first elimination. Gail comes in and says she wants Kong.

We get the Knockouts showdown and things are instantly more interesting as they do the same stuff they’ve done a dozen times. Kong gets dropkicked to the floor and they brawl up towards the stage for a double countout. It’s Robbie vs. Davey with Richards scoring a modified Crossface for the submission in less than a minute. Jesse comes in and gets headbutted by Gunner and Davey.

A slingshot suplex from Gunner brings in Spud, who is quickly gorilla pressed (read as Jesse lifts him up and moves his arms a bit) about fifteen times in a row, only to have Spud roll him up for the pin. Tyrus comes in for a head vice and the submission from Spud, followed by Hardy rolling Tyrus up for another pin. As you might expect, Josh doesn’t get that Spud was knocked out and thought he tagged Hardy despite not being within ten feet of him. Those eliminations all came in about thirty seconds.

We’re down to Hardy, Davey and Gunner vs. Storm and Carter. Gunner starts working on Storm’s shoulder but Storm hits a quick Last Call to tie things up. Davey rolls Storm up for two and the kickout sends him head first into whatever Khoya had slipped to Carter, giving Ethan another elimination. It’s Hardy vs. Storm/Carter with Jeff pounding away on the captain in the corner.

The Whisper in the Wind mostly misses Storm so Ethan drops Jeff again. Ethan pops up and hits Hardy with the big metal brace on his arm for a DQ elimination. Storm only gets two but he superkicks Jeff on top. It doesn’t knock Jeff out though as he throws Storm down, kicks Khoya away, and drops the Swanton for the pin and the victory.

Rating: D-. As you might have expected, TNA screwed this part up too as they went through eleven eliminations in the span of just over ten minutes because they had to keep up that stupid “no you’re it” nonsense to start. This was yet another uninteresting match with little drama and nothing I’m ever going to remember. Boring stuff, as I think all the fans knew were coming.

As soon as the pin goes down, Josh shouts about how Ethan wasn’t pinned because that’s the most important thing on the show.

The trophy presentation and a recap video wrap things up.

Overall Rating: F-. I know we talk about JBL, Cole and the rest of the WWE announcers being annoying and they’re valid complaints. However, Josh Matthews makes them seem like the patron saints of broadcasting. I cannot remember a time where I sat through a wrestling show wanting to scream at an announcer for all of the stupid, unprofessional, self serving, not funny and downright horrendous things he spent this show going on about.

I get that TNA doesn’t care about these shows, but at least the drivel that the commentators spew serves some purpose other than the amusement of one person. Matthews is following in Tazz’s footsteps on these shows and it’s somehow making them even worse. The wrestling was totally uninspired and dull but Matthews’ commentary made it that much harder to sit through, which continues to make these things the most grueling shows I’ve ever had to sit through. Act like professionals already and maybe you won’t keep getting bounced from one network to another. Or just fire Josh already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 11, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re past the halfway point in the qualifying matches as almost everyone has had two of their three matches. Tonight it’s week six and we’re going to have some people wrap up their round robin stuff, meaning we can actually see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. Let’s get to it.

Opening recap and preview of last week and this week.

The announcers preview things as well.

Before their match, we see Madison Rayne going through some WACKY ninja training to get her ready for Gail Kim. I don’t think this needs any more explanation.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Winner goes to the round of sixteen. Gail takes her down to the mat to start as Pope makes ninja jokes. A pinfall reversal sequence goes how most pinfall reversal sequences go. Madison sweeps the leg for two but Gail’s cross body gets the same as Josh figures out every possible way to say this is winner take all.

Back from a break with Gail missing her running cross body in the corner and crashing out to the floor to give Madison an opening. For some reason she follows Gail to the floor, only to get sent into the steps to change control. Back in and Gail’s dragon sleeper doesn’t go anywhere so Madison hits a basement cross body for two. Madison tries the Rayne Drop but a quick small package sends Gail to the round of 16 at 11:21.

Rating: C. Raise your hand if you didn’t see this coming the second the brackets were announced. Gail Kim is the greatest Knockout of all time and if you don’t know that, listen to Josh for all of half a second because he’s either sounding like a moron, insulting the fans for paying attention or praising Gail Kim. There’s very little in between for him. Gail winning makes the most sense, though I don’t see her doing much in the tournament itself. It’s a cool idea though.

Group Knockouts

Gail Kim – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Brooke – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

We get an interview with Matt Hardy who says it’s going to be trendy when he sweeps the whole Series and proves that he’s the World Champion once and for all. What better way to prove he’s the best than by beating everyone? Both life and a wrestling career are too short to have regrets and it wasn’t fair to anyone to have EC3 drag it out for years.

It wouldn’t be fair to the fans or TNA (“They might not even be on TV anymore.”) so he gave up the title for the sake of the future. He won’t be taking tonight off against Eddie Edwards because Eddie is the future, but tonight Eddie is the next victim of the Matt Hardy formula. Of course he wants to face EC3 in the finals because he wants to take away that undefeated streak.

Group Future Four: Jesse Godderz vs. Eli Drake

Jesse says he wants to win the title so he can be on a cereal box. Very slow feeling out process to start with Drake’s headlock going nowhere. A test of strength goes to Eli with the help of a knee to the ribs. Jesse’s press slam goes nowhere as his knee buckles and Drake starts in on it to show some intelligence.

Some slow kicks to the knee don’t seem to bother Jesse as he comes back with a backbreaker and enziguri, though he’s nice enough to limp after doing the moves with no issue. They trade rollups with handfuls of trunks for no count each so Drake puts him on the top but gets shoved away. That’s fine with Drake as he crotches Jesse down and puts his feet on the ropes for a pin at 6:51.

Rating: D. Bleh match here between two guys who deserve better. I really like Drake as he knows how to be a jerk as well as anyone I’ve seen in a long time. He’s not perfect by any stretch and his in ring work isn’t anything more than average, but he has a heel charisma that makes you want to see him get punched in the face. That’s more than most heels have these days and it makes for entertaining matches.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Micah – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III is at TNA headquarters (which looks like a local pub) to pay the fine in person.

Drake brags about his win.

It’s time for the World Title Series awards to fill in even more time. Pope picks Matt Hardy as MVP, Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards as Match of the Series, Shera as Most Improved, James Storm as Most Disappointing and Lashley vs. Aries as the Best Match To Come.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Eddie Edwards vs. Matt Hardy

Edwards is eliminated if he loses. Matt takes it to the mat to start before they trade wristlocks. A forearm to the back has Eddie in trouble and we take an early break. Back with Matt being sent to the floor for a suicide dive but Eddie chops the post by mistake. There’s no way to fake something like that. Pope: “My lawd it’s got me checking my fingers daddy!” A Side Effect on the apron is broken up and Eddie DDT’s Matt instead.

Back in and Eddie chops with the bad hand but walks into a double clothesline to put both of them down. Eddie has to break a sleeper by falling back onto Hardy and a Backpack Stunner gets two. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate are countered into rollups for two each and a kick to the head gets the same. Eddie goes up top but gets crotched, setting up a super Twist of Fate (minus the twist) for the pin at 11:05.

Rating: C+. This match continues to show me why I like Eddie so much better than Davey. Richards tends to take things way too seriously and comes off as goofy at times while Eddie feels a lot more natural out there. Matt coming into the round of sixteen undefeated is a nice choice but I’m really hoping it doesn’t wind up with him or Ethan as champion again. It would feel like such a waste of time, which is why it’s likely to happen.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Davey Richards – 1 point (1 match remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)

We look at the end of Bound For Glory with Ethan shoving John Gaburick to draw a huge fine.

Ethan comes in to Dixie’s office and accuses her of robbing him of the title. Dixie asks what happened to him but Ethan pays the fine and leaves. This was described as a “major confrontation” earlier in the night.

Matt praises Eddie for his toughness.

Pope decides whose bubbles are going to pop soon.

Group X-Division: Mandrews vs. DJZ

Mandrews quickly takes him to the floor and moonsaults off the steps, followed by an overshot flip dive over the top to the floor. Back in and Mandrews’ standing moonsault takes WAY too much time to set up, allowing DJZ to kick him away with ease. DJZ cranks on an armbar but walks into a very fast hurricanrana for two. Another hurricanrana out of the corner gets two more and Mandrews gets all ticked off, only to charge into a shot to the face. Mandrews kicks him off the top but a shooting star hits knees, giving DJZ the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C-. I really don’t like Mandrews. He’s the definition of a guy who does a bunch of flips and that doesn’t make for interesting wrestling. DJZ at least has a character instead of just having at stupid name to go with his good to decent ability. I’m glad we’re done with Mandrews now though as he gets on my nerves every time he’s in there.

Group X-Division

Manik – 6 points (1 match remaining)

DJZ – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Video of Shera training. If they drop the dancing stuff, he might be interesting eventually.

Preview of next week.

Eric Young wants to break Josh Matthews for saying his bubble is about to burst in the tournament, even though Pope said it. Young is ready for James Storm next week.

Pope changes his pick to Young over Storm.

Clips of Micah pinning Crimson.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Micah – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Ethan Carter III was in India earlier this week and promises to beat Mr. Anderson tonight.

The semi-finals will be in India.

Drew Galloway is in Scotland to prepare for his final match in the group stage.

Another preview of next week.

Video on the history between Mr. Anderson and EC3. As in all those matches where Anderson lost, just like he’s done in every match in the Series so far.

Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson

They chop it out to start with Anderson getting the better of it and sending Carter to the floor as we take a break. Back with Anderson firing off more chops and pounding Carter in the head as Carter tries to cover up. A quick baseball slide takes Tyrus out and a boot to the face looks to set up the Mic Check.

Carter drives him to the floor to counter, which Pope refers to as dinosaur land. Anderson gets sent into the apron and Carter bends his fingers back for good measure. We hit the chinlock as Pope and Josh compare Anderson and Carter’s upbringings in the business. Anderson fights out with less than five minutes to go and easily wins a slugout.

The Regal roll and a swanton get two on Carter and both guys are tired with two and a half minutes to go. Anderson goes up top and counters a super 1%er into a middle rope Regal roll for two more. Tyrus and Earl Hebner argue on the floor (Tyrus: “YOU’RE TOO OLD!”) so Anderson beats Tyrus up with a chair with a minute left. Hebner gets rid of the chair, allowing Carter to kick Anderson low and grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 16:24 as TNA’s clock continues to be off.

Rating: C+. Another good match here as Carter can win something when he has to. Anderson losing doesn’t mean anything and you knew that Carter was going to be in the final sixteen and probably the final two. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was perfectly fine for a big TV main event.

Group Champions

Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Austin Aries – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Lashley – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: C. Much better episode this week as they’re FINALLY getting to the point with some of this stuff. It’s amazing how much more interesting things are when there’s actually something on the line and we’re not just killing time until we get to the big stuff. It also helps that the tournament itself is starting to take shape and we know some of the people in it. That allows you to actually pick some favorites instead of having so many people to go through that you don’t know where to start. Better show this week as they actually go somewhere instead of just being in a holding pattern for weeks at a time.

Results

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Small package

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Matt Hardy b. Eddie Edwards – Super Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews – Pin after a blocked shooting star press

Ethan Carter III b. Mr. Anderson – Jackknife rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in the early part of the World Title Series as we hit week #4. As much as I like the presentation as they treat this like a real sporting event, the lack of stories are making this hard for me to get into. There’s no reason for these people to be fighting other than they have some similar characteristics or backgrounds and they’ve been scheduled against each other. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s matches and see a preview of tonight’s matches.

The announcers do the same things the opening video did.

Ethan Carter III brags about kicking out of Lashley’s spear and promises to win the title.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start with Matt taking him into the corner for some right hands. Pope feels the need to explain why wins are important in this series and Josh talks about Robbie E. challenging Rob Gronkowski in a stupid idea that TNA never learns from. A corner clothesline puts Robbie on the floor but he comes back with a flip dive off the apron to put Matt in trouble.

Now Pope compares Robbie to Leif Cassady and Josh tries to convince me that Robbie might be World Champion, which continues to show the problem with this entire concept. Back in and the Side Effect from Matt and a middle rope clothesline from Robbie get two each but Matt picks it up with a big sitout powerbomb. The Twist of Fate is countered into the Boom Drop for a close two and that’s it for Robbie’s chance. Another Side Effect and another Twist of Fate give Matt the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C+. The match was good but totally uninteresting for a point that I’ve already beaten into the ground despite having probably another two months of qualifying matches before we get to the actual tournament. Robbie is a nice midcard guy but he’s on a long list of people who have no reason to be involved in a World Title competition.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining

Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail promises to fight Awesome Kong hard again tonight. Can they just show us the Bound For Glory match so I can save some time?

Matt says Robbie is tough and he was impressed.

Robbie says he doesn’t feel like a loser because he earned some respect.

Back to Matt when Grado comes up to ask for a picture because he’s a fan. Is this their best version of comedy these days?

Video on Drew Galloway.

Group UK: Grado vs. Drew Galloway

Speaking of wastes of time. The bell doesn’t even ring for this match and Grado starts with a schoolboy trip for two. Drew throws him to the mat and starts chopping in the corner. Grado’s comedy seems to get on Drew’s nerves so he chops away and throws Grado again with a belly to belly for two.

Drew slaps him in the face and Grado comes back with some right hands and an elbow to the head. A Rock Bottom and Cannonball in the corner (called a flippy move by Pope) have Drew in trouble. Grado puts him in the Tree of Woe but Galloway sits up and grabs a German suplex, followed by the running boot (the Claymore according to Josh) for the pin at 4:39.

Rating: D+. Fine enough for a match with the most obvious ending in the whole competition so far. It would be nice if they would just put Spud and Galloway in the next round already because there’s almost no chance of anyone else moving forward. Then again that can’t be done because they’ve taped all this in advance and that’s what we’re getting like it or not. I’m sure I’m too stupid to understand why I want to watch a bunch of average and uninteresting matches though.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Clip of Gail Kim beating Awesome Kong at some show in the past that isn’t important enough to name.

We look back at the final destruction of the Revolution with Mahabali Shera pinning James Storm. Shera dances you know. They’re talking about it on Twitter.

Group Wild Card: Aiden O’Shea vs. Crazzy Steve

Oh come on. I know I probably complain about this Series too much but I’m supposed to want to watch this? They circle each other for about a minute to start until O’Shea slugs him down. O’Shea shoves him into the corner and takes a boxing stance as Steve is down on the mat. They head outside with Aiden punching him in the jaw but then punches the steps and post by mistake. Back in and Steve bites his hand, only to have Aiden take his head off with a clothesline for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. O’Shea is fine for a brawler and it’s a good idea to have him win here but this was such a waste of time. They couldn’t air something old and just give this a thirty second highlight package? This is the perfect example of a match that is making the Series feel like it’s taking forever to get through and a big reason why people aren’t very interested.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Abyss says the only thing that soothes him is gold because he’s a monster. He’ll win and you can take that to the bank.

Package on Storm vs. Abyss.

More clips of an unknown Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match.

Grado is confused after getting kicked in the head and doesn’t remember anything since the end of the match.

The announcers recap Group UK.

Group TNA Originals: Abyss vs. James Storm

Before the match, Storm suggests Abyss turn around and leave so Storm can win by countout. Abyss says he’s a monster and punches Storm in the face to get things going. A chokeslam doesn’t work but Storm charges into a side slam. Back from an early break with Storm diving off the steps and having to escape a chokeslam attempt. Storm loads a chair into the corner but Abyss sends him face first into it instead.

Hebner lets it go and Abyss drops a splash for two. It’s Janice time but it gets stuck in the turnbuckle like it does every single time, setting up Closing Time and a cowbell to the head for two. Storm goes up top and counters a superplex attempt into a powerbomb, followed by a top rope elbow for another near fall. Back up and Abyss no sells the Last Call and chokeslams Storm for two. With nothing else working, Storm spits beer into Abyss’ face and hits two more Last Calls for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C-. Way too many weapons in here and I have no idea why they would let Abyss no sell Storm’s finisher. The match wasn’t the worst in the world but more than that it was nice to see a match where I didn’t know who was going to win. That’s been the big problem with tonight’s show: I either didn’t care who won or I could figure it out as soon as the names were announced. Good enough match here, despite how ridiculous they were with the weapons here.

Group TNA Originals

Bobby Roode – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Abyss – 3 points (1 match remaining)

James Storm – 3 points (1 match remaining

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Shera loves the World Title Series and thinks this is a cool opportunity to his family. He respects everyone else in the group and will do his talking in the ring. The upcoming India tour is a dream come true for him and he wants to return home with the World Title.

We preview next week with Shera vs. King, Brooke vs. Rayne and an interview with Jeff Hardy. A quick preview of the interview focuses on how happy he was to see Matt as World Champion.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young next week in another match we’ve seen way too many times.

Group X-Division: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

Tigre takes him down by the arm to start as the announcers bicker over who is supposed to call play by play. DJZ sends the champ (no belt in sight here) into the corner for a running dropkick. We hit the chinlock on Tigre for a bit until he pops up and dropkicks DJZ outside. A corkscrew plancha connects for the champ (Josh: “Carpet defense!”) and they trade hurricanranas back inside. Tigre’s split legged corkscrew moonsault misses and DJZ’s tornado DDT is good for the pin at 6:43.

Rating: C. Fun enough match and we have yet ANOTHER group where three people have won a match each. Josh suggested that this might lead to an X-Division Title match, even though Tigre isn’t going to be defending the thing until around Christmas. You would think that would mean vacating the title due to a lack of defenses but that’s not the case around here.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Manik – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Clips from Kim vs. Kong at Bound For Glory 2015.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

In case you haven’t seen this one enough yet. Gail goes after the arm to start but gets sent out to the floor. Pope thinks these two are like twins. Because they know each other so well you see. A big clothesline sends Gail outside again and we take a break. Back with Gail fighting out of a camel clutch and scoring with a jawbreaker before kicking away at the legs.

Gail tries a Black Widow but opts to dropkick Kong to the floor and dive off the apron with a flying forearm. Back in and Gail’s cross body is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for two we as have under five minutes to go (meaning their clock is way off this week). The chokeslam is countered into a DDT and a high cross body gets two for Gail. Kong loads up a powerbomb but gets caught in a hurricanrana to give Kim the pin at 13:58.

Rating: C. Well they certainly had another match. This is considered one of the greatest rivalries in TNA history and it’s really just ok. Yeah they had some awesome matches about nine years ago but I haven’t seen them do anything above average in years now. This was a decent enough match but nothing that makes me want to see them fight again.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail Kim – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: D. The show is over and I’m totally numb. I don’t have any feelings about it and I really didn’t for the two hours the show was on the air. The wrestling was adequate for the most part and there were times where I didn’t know who was going to win, but I didn’t care. These shows (and we’re just getting started with them) are offering no reason for me to care and it’s getting worse every week. It’s really hard to drive a show on pure wrestling and this is the proof of why.

For two hours tonight, I sat here listening to Josh and Pope do the same analysis of what it means for someone to be two matches in with no points or how confident they must be to have six points and only one match to go. The groups are the exact same idea with different names included and if you’ve watched TNA for more than five minutes you can pretty much pick the field of sixteen from here. I’m sure the TNA super fans will have some excuse for why the show bombed like the World Series, the Republican debate etc., because there’s ALWAYS something else on that interferes with TNA.

Maybe next week we can cancel all other TV and air Impact on every channel. Then people can be collectively bored by this concept with no individual stories and no real reason to watch until around Christmas because this company spent years putting on boring TV and keep getting canceled but we’re supposed to treat them like some kind of plucky victim that never did anything wrong. This is boring television and the audience tuning out is proving it, no matter what excuses TNA’s diehard fans have.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Robbie E. – Twist of Fate

Drew Galloway b. Grado – Claymore

Aiden O’Shea b. Crazzy Steve – Clothesline

James Storm b. Abyss – Last Call

DJZ b. Tigre Uno – Tornado DDT

Gail Kim b. Awesome Kong – Hurricanrana

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 7, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Bound For Glory has come and gone and not a lot has changed because the World Title is now vacant. Matt Hardy won the title by pinning Drew Galloway, but Ethan Carter III fired an injunction against him for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Therefore, tonight we’re starting a 32 person series to crown a new champion at some point in the future. In other words, we’ll be seeing a lot of matches taped a few months ago cobbled together into a competition. Let’s get to it.

We open with a stills package of Sunday’s main event, which means nothing now.

Dinero and Matthews are in the studio and throw us into a package of everything that has happened since Sunday. Ethan Carter III has gotten an injunction from a judge to prevent Matt Hardy from appearing on Impact. Why? Not important enough to explain but we’ll go with “reasons”.

Therefore, since Matt can’t appear on TNA TV, we see a video of Matt vacating the title. So yeah, we still don’t get any new details and the story is still all muddled and a way to get to the ends they need because just having Carter retain was too complicated. Matt kept talking about a controversy but there’s still no explanation of what exactly happened.

Dixie Carter talks about how the 72 hours since Bound For Glory ended have been insane. It really is insane since 72 hours ago (remember that this was recorded earlier today) would have been since Sunday afternoon, not Sunday night but we’ll just chalk that up to another reason why Dixie isn’t that bright. Dixie and Billy Corgan (who the fans are just supposed to know works for TNA) announce the 32 person series to determine the new champion. Its name: the World Title Series. Dig that creativity!

The men and women will both be involved in the series with eight groups of four each. The groups will compete against each other in round robin style matches with three points for a win, one point for a draw and zero points for a loss. There are fifteen minute time limits and the top two from each group advance to the round of sixteen, which is a single elimination tournament with no time limits.

Here’s the first group (Group UK):

Bram

Rockstar Spud

Grado

Drew Galloway

Group #2 (Group Wild Card):

Aiden O’Shea

Crazzy Steve

Kenny King

Mahabali Shera

Group #3 (Group Knockouts)

Awesome Kong

Madison Rayne

Brooke

Gail Kim

Group #4 (Group Champions)

Lashley

Austin Aries

Mr. Anderson

Ethan Carter III

Dinero and Josh make their predictions on the first four groups.

Drew Galloway talks about Sunday being the hardest night of his life. He’ll be back though.

Group UK: Drew Galloway vs. Bram

Josh says the injunction might be about Jeff Hardy hitting Carter on Sunday. That really should have been mentioned earlier as it almost kind of makes sense, but we’re 20 minutes into the show and FINALLY hearing about that theory. As usual, TNA comes off as disorganized and doesn’t bother to explain something that really should be covered earlier, assuming that’s what’s going on.

They fight into the corner to start and Bram bails to the floor. Back in and Bram bails again as we go split screen to see some clips of a roundtable group discussion from earlier in the day. I can’t stand it when this happens as it’s very distraction. Just do the audio or something as it’s not like they’re hard to tell apart.

As Bram talks about being better than the rest of the group, Drew suplexes Bram to the floor again but this time Bram sends him into the steps to take over. Back in and Bram grabs a chinlock until Galloway gets to his feet and wins a slugout. They head outside again so Galloway can send him face first into the steps over and over. Back inside and Drew’s running big boot is good for the pin and three points at 7:59.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it’s clear that we’re going to see a lot of decent to average matches with no drama until they get to the single elimination stuff. The match was fine enough and it’s a good thing that they didn’t push Bram before he went all crazy. I’m hoping we get Galloway as the new champion too, if nothing else so I can laugh at TNA for making this whole tournament when they could have just put the title on him in the first place.

Group UK Standings

Drew Galloway – 3 points (2 matches left)

Rockstar Spud – 0 points (3 matches left)

Grado – 0 points (3 matches left)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches left)

Gail Kim is thankful for the chance to be in the tournament.

Drew Galloway says Bram’s mistake was going to the floor. They’re treating this like a traditional sports event with analysis and the pre and post match interviews.

Group Knockouts: Brooke vs. Gail Kim

No title with Gail because of the taping schedule which Josh attributes to Gail being focused on the World Title. They keep the split screen stuff to a minimum here and come back to Gail monkey flipping her over, only to get caught in a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls. Brooke grabs something like a reverse Cattle Mutilation but can’t keep the hold on.

Eat Defeat is broken up and they slug it out until Brooke grabs the Butterface Maker (in case you didn’t get the theme of Brooke’s character). She misses a top rope elbow though and Gail bends Brooke’s ribs around the post. Eat Defeat is countered again so Gail tries a leg lock, only to get rolled up for the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C. This was fine again but I’m scared of what’s going to happen if Brooke advances to the next round and someone who is supposed to be serious has to sell for her. I get what they’re going for by putting the Knockouts in but it feels way out of place at the same time. Kong and Kim would be one thing, but the other two feel like complete outliers. Then again they probably aren’t making it to the tournament so it’s not the worst thing in the world.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches left)

Awesome Kong – 0 points (3 matches left)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (3 matches left)

Gail Kim – 0 points (2 matches left)

EC3 wants this to be called the Memorial Screwjob Series. He should be the champion because he got ripped off but it’s motivated him to win this thing. Carter promises to defeat Austin Aries tonight in record time. This series isn’t over until he wins.

The announcers talk about the first two matches.

Group UK: Rockstar Spud vs. Grado

In the split screen discussion, Grado and Spud argue over who the real underdog is. In the ring, Grado sits on Spud’s chest for two and drops a backsplash for good measure. A Cannonball misses though and Spud scores with a dropkick in the corner. Grado comes back with a Pedigree (not a good one either) for two. There go the straps but Grado’s ankle lock is quickly broken up.

Spud hits an overly complicated Worm for two but Grado tops him with a People’s Elbow. The running the ropes (multiple times across the ring) makes him tired though and Pope thinks this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen. Spud hits a decent chokeslam and the Undertaker cover gets two. Matthews calls this a slobberknocker as Grado escapes an AA but walks into a Stunner and the Underdog to give Spud the pin at 5:57.

Rating: D. Thanks for giving us this six minute ad that made me want to turn this show off and go watch the WWE Network. I get the idea they were going for here but I still don’t get the appeal of Grado. As Josh said in the Knockouts match, the idea here is supposed to be everyone is serious about the World Title. Instead though, we had a comedy match which was only funny at times. Pick an idea.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 3 points (2 matches left)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (2 matches left)

Grado – 0 points (2 matches left)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches left)

Pope picks EC3 to lose all of his matches.

Tyrus, with headphones around the side of his head to make him look even angrier, says he’s going to sit back and see who wins the Series because he’s up next. It would be interesting if EC3 wins.

Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Austin Aries

Aries has Thea Trinidad with him for no apparent reason. Josh says the internet nerds are asking why Aries is here after he lost a career match. No Josh, actually we’re wrestling fans who sit around and listen to your mindless drivel as you try to be the cool announcer while coming off as the biggest tool this side of your local hardware store.

Heaven forbid we listen to the rules and stories your company presents and then expect them to follow their own ideas. No instead we’re nerds for trying to make sense of a business that you couldn’t even get into because you couldn’t beat freaking Maven and then no major company wanted to see you get in the ring so you’re stuck with this sinking ship of a company because WWE realized they could get any hack to replace you.

So after the explanation of “HAHA we don’t have to explain why Aries is back” we’re ready to go. Pope starts talking about Jeff Hardy getting involved on Sunday so I guess that’s the official reason for the injunction. Again, not that Ethan ever actually mentioned that but why waste time on something like that? Ethan cranks on a wristlock and then runs Aries over with a shoulder. Aries pops back up and forearms Carter outside, followed by a slingshot hilo to send Carter to the floor again.

Some elbows to the head (am I a nerd for knowing what an elbow is Josh? Or do I need to be a professional like you?) knock Ethan back inside but Aries dives on Tyrus when he gets too close to Thea. We take a break and come back with Aries fighting out of a chinlock until Ethan pulls him back to the mat for the same hold. We’ve got less than five minutes to go and this was the only match to have the time limit announced during the entrances. Aries fights back and gets a neckbreaker across the middle rope, followed by a suicide dive into the barricade.

Back in and another Tyrus distraction lets Carter get two off a TKO. Carter’s superplex is broken up and Aries gets two off the 450 in a surprising kickout. Even Tyrus was freaked out. Aries wins a slugout but Tyrus trips him up, allowing Ethan to grab a sitout powerbomb for another near fall. The Last Chancery goes on with a minute left but since that move never gets a submission, Carter gets to the ropes. Both finishers are countered three times each and Aries can’t get the Last Chancery as time runs out at 15:00.

Rating: B. I had a really good time with this one and it was cool to see Carter kick out of a big move instead of having to be saved as usual. The ending sequence with the counters was really good, but I had a hard time trying to shake off Josh’s lines at the beginning. Aries being back is a good thing, even if he’s just filling in a spot.

Aries gives Carter a brainbuster after the match.

Group Champions

Austin Aries – 1 point (2 matches left)

Ethan Carter III – 1 point (2 matches left)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (3 matches left)

Lashley – 0 points (3 matches left)

Pope says getting a draw and one point is like getting zero points.

Mr. Anderson is glad that he’s in the toughest group. He’s all in against Lashley tonight.

Aries says Carter knows what the brainbuster feels like and it’s his first loss if he ever feels it again.

Group Knockouts: Madison Rayne vs. Awesome Kong

An early Implant Buster doesn’t work for Kong so she throws Madison across the ring. As the split screen gives us some rare talking from Kong (the seas will boil with her rage it seems), Kong throws Madison in a Torture Rack before just dropping her. Madison comes back with a missile dropkick for two but the Implant Buster ends Rayne at 4:12.

Rating: D. Total squash here with Kong looking dominant like she should have. Madison is still good in the ring but it takes a different kind of opponent to give Kong a threat. They were smart to keep this short here and it made Kong look like a real threat, assuming she can stay healthy.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches left)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (2 matches left)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (2 matches left)

Gail Kim – 0 points (2 matches left)

Lashley is glad to be in a tournament because he’s gotten here in tournament style competition. Mr. Anderson is victim #1 tonight.

Matt Hardy talks about what a great moment Sunday night was but now it’s all gone. He’s entered into the Series and will start competing next week. So…..Carter’s injunction didn’t get rid of Matt and now he has to go through a bunch of people instead of someone he’s already beaten twice to get the belt back. Bad business sense is a bad family trait for the Carters.

Group Champions: Mr. Anderson vs. Lashley

Lashley takes him to the mat to start and we’re in a break just a few seconds after the bell. Back with Lashley suplexing Anderson with ease but the spear can’t connect yet. The split screen has Lashley and Anderson saying that they should both move on and then fight in the round of sixteen. Lashley charges into the post to give Anderson two and it’s time to work on the arm.

Anderson dropkicks Lashley’s leapfrog out of the air and it’s time to go back to the arm. A single arm DDT gets two and it’s back to the armbar. Back up and Lashley fires off some clotheslines with the good arm, including a big one in the corner. There’s a spinebuster as we have less than five minutes to go. The spear still can’t connect though and Anderson hits a pair of Regal Rolls. Anderson tries a third but Lashley rolls out and hits the spear for the win at 12:16.

Rating: C+. Not a bad main event style match here and I’m glad to see Lashley get a win for a change. He’s been falling further and further down the card in recent weeks and it’s nice to see that switch, even for one night. You have to think he and Carter are the two moving on from this group as Anderson is little more than a main event jobber.

Group Champions

Lashley – 3 points (2 matches left)

Austin Aries – 1 point (2 matches left)

Ethan Carter III – 1 point (2 matches left)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (2 matches left)

Overall Rating: C+. You know I didn’t hate this. They’ve actually got a good idea going here and the presentation worked well. I could go for them jumping back and forth between the two sets of groups from week to week, as there are going to be six matches per group for eight groups or forty eight matches. That should cover them for seven or eight weeks as there won’t be a twelve minute intro and a full time limit draw every week.

TNA did a good job of presenting this and it should get a lot better once they get down to the final sixteen and a more traditional tournament. This felt like a bigger version of the Bound For Glory Series but more structured and that’s not a bad thing. It could be far worse and I can live with the idea of this getting us to a new champion. Of course that’s assuming you ignore all the flaws in Ethan’s plan and the fact that TNA got themselves into this trouble in the first place. Good show and a good way to get started on the latest tournament they have to run to fix their latest gaffe.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Bram – Running boot

Brooke b. Gail Kim – Small package

Rockstar Spud b. Grado – Underdog

Austin Aries vs. Ethan Carter III went to a time limit draw

Awesome Kong b. Madison Rayne – Implant Buster

Lashley b. Mr. Anderson – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Let’s get this out of the way before they get to Impact tonight and screw it up even worse. I’ll be covering Takeover at first so I don’t get to see how bad things are really going to get, but I can’t wait to see how far down things really go. This is TNA’s biggest show of the year and it amazed me how they managed to screw it up all over again. Let’s get to it.

As usual, they opened with the Ultimate X match for the X-Division Title. This was another match with no story, no reason for the challengers to be in the match other than “we need a bunch of challengers” and no story to the match because it was all about high spots. Tigre Uno successfully defended the title against newcomer Andrew Everett, DJZ and Manik and only separated his shoulder in the process. This was every Ultimate X match you’ve seen before and there was almost nothing setting it apart from the rest of them. I want to like this division but, just like everything else, TNA gives me no reason to and therefore I don’t.

In your first pointless moment of the night, Gregory Helms came out to shake Tigre’s hand. He didn’t say anything about the title, he didn’t attack Tigre, and there’s no indication he’s going to be around anytime in the future. This really could have been saved for Impact….assuming there actually was an Impact taping for Helms to show up on in the future.

In your second pointless moment of the night, Ethan Carter III came out to talk about how awesome he is. This was just a basic promo that accomplished nothing other than killing off a few minutes.

Speaking of killing stuff off, the second match of the night killed off the crowd. It was a 12 man gauntlet match with the winner getting a shot at any title he wanted in the future. Of course this was changed with about two minutes left in the match to being able to challenge for ANY title, because only TNA would think all of its titles are worth anything.

Aside from throwing more people into this match, they decided to give Tyrus the win here. Yes Tyrus, the bodyguard who is most famous as a dancing dinosaur. Tyrus could be played by any given big man but for some reason this is what we’re getting. Not someone interesting. Not someone the fans are going to want to see. Not someone exceptional in the ring. No we’re getting Tyrus, the monster with a cool beard and almost no character whatsoever. The fact that this match was nearly half an hour long made things even worse. There was no way the fans were going to recover from this one and they never did.

It got even better though as Ethan came out and said Tyrus could be the X-Division Champion but Tyrus said he was coming for the World Title. So yes, we’re supposed to care about Tyrus as the next big thing in the main event scene. Let that sink in for a few minutes.

In the match of the night, the Wolves retained the Tag Team Titles over Trevor Lee and Brian Meyers. This was a match with an academic ending but they made sure to keep going with the story instead. I know there’s a logic behind having a rematch for the titles, but the more I think about it the more I wonder if they just did this because they didn’t have anyone else to put in this spot. How bad is it that they actually don’t have anyone else to put into a title match at the biggest show of the year? Who else was going to get this spot? The fact that I can’t answer that is far too telling.

Bobby Roode and Bobby Lashley had a totally decent but totally forgettable match for Roode’s King of the Mountain Title. First of all, they really need to change the name of that belt. The name made sense when there was a King of the Mountain match for the title but now it’s just long and sounds stupid. Lashley lost to Roode again in a feud that isn’t as epic as TNA would like you to believe. I like the idea of Roode as champion but can we get Lashley something? They’re wasting one of the best acts they have and as usual it’s a shame.

Gail Kim retained the Knockouts Title over Awesome Kong and I’m really not sure why. Kong hasn’t had the belt in years and Kim feels like she’s had the belt for years, but for some reason they kept it on Gail. Unless it’s Kong being injured or something, which she allegedly is, I see no reason to not give it to Kong here. Who else is left to fight Gail at this point that she hasn’t already beaten at least once?

Eric Young kept injuring Kurt Angle’s neck but Angle won again because he’s Kurt Angle and therefore he must be pushed at all costs. Angle is indeed a legend but at some point it would be nice to see him put someone over on his back, even if it is Eric Young.

And then there’s the main event. Here’s the thing: I get the idea they were going for but at the end of the day it’s a bad one. Matt Hardy is one of the worst options I can think of to actually put the title on. I read a line Sunday night that summed this up perfectly: “Just because someone deserves something (and Matt does deserve it, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.” That’s exactly what happened here and it wasn’t even a great match to get there.

The stuff with Jeff Hardy didn’t go anywhere and it really felt like they were just catering to the few hundred people in the live audience. It’s a really bad sign when that’s the best you can do for the biggest show of the year but it’s all they could manage. Matt won the title and is added to the list of the 40+ year old champions who made their name in WWE and are way past their prime in TNA. As usual, some things never change in TNA.

Much like what happened after the show when Matt vacated the title, possibly due to needing to use footage of Ethan as champion from other shows to make slap together Impacts. If that’s the case, let this company die already because it’s never going to get any better.  Why they didn’t just have Ethan retain in that case is beyond me, but  I’m sure it makes sense to TNA.

Overall, Bound For Glory was another example of everything wrong with this company. Nonsensical booking, so-so wrestling and a big stupid ending to the whole thing that appeals to the minority instead of the masses that they need to cater towards. Impact is going to be REALLY interesting this week, but we’re likely stuck with a bunch of pre-taped stuff that isn’t time sensitive and that no one is really interested in seeing. But hey, everything is ok because ANYTHING from TNA is worth watching right?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6