Impact Wrestling
Date: April 10, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Josh Matthews

This is an interesting time for TNA as they have a bunch of potential challengers for Kurt Angle’s World Title but it seems that Lashley has the most valid claim to a shot. Last week Angle pinned Lashley but the replay showed that Lashley’s shoulder was up. Other than that we have Drew Galloway’s Rising ready to deal with MVP’s Beat Down Clan. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Galloway debuting a few weeks back to try and take back wrestling from the Beat Down Clan. He now has his friends in the Rising to help in his battle.

Tonight, fan Tweets will be airing on screen. This is apparently interesting for reasons that I don’t really understand but WWE does it so it’s a good idea right?

Here’s Kurt Angle to address the end of last week’s show. There’s been a lot of buzz over the match with Lashley so he’d like Lashley out here right now. We look at the tape of Lashley’s shoulder being up and the fans want a rematch. Angle says he won’t back down from a title defense because he knows he can beat Lashley again. They’re ready to fight tonight but Eric Young comes out to crank up the suck.

Eric says he’s #1 contender and the rankings say so. He’s a main event champion and Angle is holding his belt. The fans don’t seem to agree but Young grabs Lashley’s face. Angle goes for Young but Lashley spears the champ down by mistake. Oh the drama. Maybe we can see Eric Young get in a match way over his head again but get to see him survive because he’s Eric Young and has been around forever and for some reason that makes him interesting. I mean, he’s not tall like Big Show but he has been around a long time.

Post break, Angle is still in the ring and says he’ll fight Lashley and Young tonight at the same time.

Video on the history of Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim.

Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

#1 contenders match. They go nose to nose until Gail gets launched across the ring by the hair. Back up and Kin gets in a few unsold shots before being tossed right back down. As the match goes on, I get THRILLING Tweets of fans saying they like the match and that they’re watching the show. You can’t buy journalism like this people. Gail fights up from a camel clutch but runs into a hard clothesline. King rips the turnbuckle pad off and sends Gail outside, only to get dropkicked into the barricade.

Back in and Gail fires off forearms to the chest before getting two off a spinning cross body. Kong misses a charge into the exposed buckle to give Gail two as we get a Tweet from Jim Ross about how good Gail is. See, that’s the kind of thing we need live commentary to point out. Eat Defeat gets another near fall but Kong just grabs her by the throat and sets Kim on the top rope. Gail dives again and goes right into the Awesome Bomb for the pin at 7:18.

Rating: C. This is one of those old, storied feuds in TNA that was indeed cool ten years ago or however long it was, but now it’s more like “hey, I remember when they had matches back then.” Thankfully they didn’t play that up too strong here and it was really just a step above a Kong squash. Taryn vs. Kong could be good if they book it right.

We immediately cut to James Storm and Mickie James. Mickie thanks him for the save last week but that’s just how southerners are raised. This is more like the old Storm. She goes to leave but he asks for a hug. Manik comes up and asks what was up with that but Storm goes back into Revolution mode and tells Manik to never question his motives. He orders Manik to round up the team for a fight. That transition from Kong to Storm was way too fast and something TNA needs to work on. It’s ok to stay on the winner more than two seconds before you get to your next thing.

Back from a break with the Revolution in the ring and Storm sitting in a chair. He’s brought them out here to make things very clear: this is about a revolution, not for him to take care of them. Each and every one of the men in this ring failed him, which is why Sanada is gone. Storm yells at Khoya, saying he brought him out of that horrible country but now Khoya has failed him.

There’s always room for one more, but now there can always be room for one less. He’s going to win this Tag Team Title tournament and one of them is going to be his partner. The fans chant for Manik, but Storm makes a three way to determine who gets the spot. A referee comes out and Storm insists that there must be a winner.

Abyss vs. Khoya vs. Manik

Abyss cleans house but Manik hits him with a chair, which seems to be legal. Khoya picks up a stick that Storm left in the ring but Abyss knocks him into the corner. Apparently the title match is next week in Ultimate X. That’s rather sudden but that’s life in TNA. Manik counters a chokeslam into a standing cross armbreaker (Six Second Magic for you No Mercy fans out there) but Khoya comes in for the save. A Sky High to Manik is enough to get Khoya the spot in the tournament at 2:50.

We go back to James Storm’s barn with the ghost hunters from last week. The results are inconclusive.

Here’s the Rising for a chat. Drew really does fit in this role. He’s so awesome that he can cut a promo and have his LIVE Tweet show up on screen at the same time. Drew says he’d give us the shirt off his back and that’s exactly what he does. He started the Stand Up campaign to bring wrestling back where it belongs and the fans are part of the Rising with them. Drew hands the microphone off for the official introductions.

First up we have Micah, formerly known as Camacho. The BDC is a bunch of bullies and it’s time to punch them right in the mouth. The other member is Eli Drake (you might know him as Shaun Ricker) and he talks about how they’re definitely not Superstars, but professional wrestlers. Drew throws down the gauntlet and here’s the BDC to answer. King thinks they’re rising like a yeast infection and MVP accepts the challenge. Drew counts down from three to one and the brawl is on in the aisle as we go to a break. Drake and Micah are just warm bodies but they were fine here.

Rising vs. Beat Down Clan

This would be the second match made by the wrestlers in the first hour. King grabs a headlock on Drake to start but gets caught in a powerslam. It’s quickly off to Micah vs. MVP with the BDC taking over and stomping away in the corner. MVP comes back in and puts on a chinlock before kicking Micah in the face for two. Micah scores with a Samoan drop and Drew gets the hot tag to clean house. Everything breaks down with the Rising clearing the ring, leaving Micah to dive onto all three of them. Drew and Drake pose but a masked man in BDC gear sneaks in with what looked like a pipe for the DQ at 6:52.

Rating: D+. This match was watchable but I’m really not seeing why I should care. Rising is a bunch of newcomers and Drew stands out, but I’m not really sure why these teams need to fight. The BDC hasn’t actually won anything other than the X Title once or twice. Do we really need a stable to fight against them?

The masked man is Homicide. Oh…..great.

Angle says he’s ready to prove himself again when Eric Young jumps him. After a break, Angle insists he’s fighting tonight.

DJZ vs. Davey Richards

Feeling out process to start with both guys flying around a bit until Davey dropkicks him out to the floor. Davey kicks him in the face from the apron but DJZ comes back with some shots of his own back inside. That’s fine with Davey as he wins a slugout and sends DJZ to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in again and a running kick gets two for Davey but he misses the top rope stomp. Instead he throws DJZ up in the air for the kick to the chest, setting up a spinning kick to the head (Creeping Death) for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C. Well that happened. I guess they’re setting up the tag tournament next week but it was announced as the X-Division match of the night. The match was entertaining enough but having matches for the sake of having a match isn’t the best way to get my interest up. Still though, watchable.

Homicide says the BDC is familia. MVP says they’re the Beat Down Clan and they do what they do because they can. I’ve heard worse catchphrases.

We see some girls playing with dolls. The Dollhouse is coming soon. The girls appeared to be Marti Belle and Mia Yim.

Here are the Hardys to celebrate beating James Storm last week. Next on their list is winning the Tag Team Champions for the first time in TNA. This brings out Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to remind us that Ethan is undefeated for nineteen months, but somehow he hasn’t gotten his title shot. He’s entering the tournament to get a Tag Team Title, but he needs a partner. He wants someone who can hurt people and that man is…..Bram. Now that’s interesting. Bram comes out and says he hates everyone, but he’ll team up with Carter because he hates him the least.

This brings out Anderson, who asks if Carter just said he and Bram are the odds on favorites. Carter: “Yup.” Anderson: “Huh?” “Yeah.” “Huh?” “I do.” “Huh?” “Indeed.” This goes on for about ten more seconds because Carter is rather entertaining on the mic. Anderson’s partner is Spud and they have a quick argument over Spud grabbing Anderson’s microphone. The two of them head to the ring but Austin Aries comes out, talks about loving gold, and announces Roode as his partner.

A preview for next week shows that we have four qualifying matches and the winners going to an Ultimate X match for the Tag Team Titles. It also shows the four teams in the Ultimate X match because these previews aren’t thought out in advance.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young vs. Lashley

Angle is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Young hides on the floor to start and lets the suplex machines fight, but they quickly get together and beat Young back and forth. Lashley plays Bret on a Hart Attack and Young gets beaten up on the floor as we take a break. Back with Angle busting out the suplexes on both guys and clotheslining Lashley to the floor. Kurt ducks his head and eats a piledriver but Lashley makes the save and throws Eric outside.

The running powerslam gets two on the champ and a big spear gets the same with Young making the save. Lashley tweaks his ankle on a leapfrog but is still able to low bridge Eric to the floor due to Eric sucking so much. Both challengers get rolling Germans but Young breaks up the ankle lock (it lasts about 20 seconds, which Josh timed as three minutes) and puts Lashley in the Figure Four. Lashley makes the rope so Eric wedges a chair in the corner, only to get caught in the delayed vertical. The spear hits the chair though and Angle Slams both guys, setting up the moonsault onto Lashley’s bad leg for the pin at 13:43.

Rating: B-. So now we get Angle vs. Young because Young will be CRAZY while saying he never got beat right? You know, because we absolutely, totally and completely need Eric Young in our lives and main events. He’s been around for years you know. The match was decent enough, as long as Young was kept reined in.

Post match Angle leaves so Young goes after Bobby’s leg with the chair and puts on another figure four.

Overall Rating: C+. Decent enough show that set up the tournament next week, but the wrestling outside of the main event was only so good. The stories don’t have the same heat they did a few weeks back, but at least we’ve still got enough good stuff to keep things going. I would however appreciate a top heel instead of a bunch of mid level ones running around. Angle seems to be a transitional champion and that’s the right kind of reign for him at the moment, hopefully with Carter rising up to the top spot soon enough.

Results

Awesome Kong b. Gail Kim – Awesome Bomb

Khoya b. Abyss and Manik – Sky High to Manik

Rising b. Beat Down Clan via DQ when Homicide interfered

Davey Richards b. DJZ – Creeping Death

Kurt Angle b. Lashley and Eric Young – Moonsault to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 3, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re still in Orlando and the big story tonight is who gets to be the #1 contender. A large group of people want the shot at Angle but tonight Lashley gets the World Title shot at Kurt Angle. As far as other in ring action goes, tonight we have Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young in what is being billed as their final showdown. Let’s get to it.

This show is also billed as bell to bell, but it’s not yet clear what that means.

On tap for tonight, Lashley vs. Angle for the title, Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love, Magnus vs. Bram in a falls count anywhere match and Young vs. Roode in a submission match.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Before the match, Young says all good things must come to an end. Tonight, he says he’s ending Roode’s career and tonight it’s the final chapter for Roode. Matthews says this feud has become like Pacquiao vs. Mayweather. No, no it hasn’t. Roode says he’s already won two matches against Young but now Young wants to be the #1 contender. Tonight, Roode is making sure that this story ends forever. Young promises to make Roode tap, so Roode accepts this as a submission match, even though that was announced earlier in the show.

The fight starts on the floor with Roode getting the better of it but coming back inside to get stomped down. Josh talks about an interview with the referee earlier in the week where he talked about this kind of a match, making the pre-match promo sound even more out of place. They head back outside with Young in control and raking the eyes.

Roode can’t get the Crossface as Young makes it to the ropes, which the announcers cover by saying the referee wasn’t going to call submissions in the ropes despite a lack of disqualifications. Not the best explanation but it’s better than nothing. Back in again and Roode gets kicked in the leg but still catches Eric in the spinebuster. We come back from a break with Roode getting thrown out of the corner and jarring his knee again.

Young throws on a leg bar but Bobby is next to the ropes, which gets a count from the referee. It’s time for Young to get psycho again and bend the knee around the post with something like Bret Hart’s Hartbreaker. The referee breaks it up again and Roode gets back up for a quick Crossface. Young has a bad arm coming in but is able to get to the ropes for the break.

Instead Roode puts on a Boston crab but gets kicked to the floor on the escape. Young sends the knee into the steps again and we hit the figure four inside. Bobby turns it over and the referee is bumped, just as Roode puts on the Crossface to make Young tap. No referee though so Young hits a leg lariat and turns his leg brace around to make the Figure Four hurt even worse, forcing Roode to tap at 16:58. So we’re back to Garvin vs. Valentine from 1990 now?

Rating: B-. Gah of course Young wins because WE MUST PRAISE HIS NAME for being all intense and looking like he’s trying to scare small children. See, he’s really crazy and we have to watch him hurt people, likely because he’s one of the only people they know won’t leave. I’m sick of seeing Young pushed and having him trade wins with Bobby Roode isn’t going to make me care about him.

Here’s Davey Richards with both tag belts. Eddie Edwards follows him out on crutches and it looks like the titles are going to be vacated. Eddie says he’s broken his heel in half and the titles are going to have to be held up as the Wolves can’t defend them. JB asks Davey about a replacement partner but Davey says the Wolves aren’t the Wolves without Eddie so no deal. They’ll be coming for the titles when his foot heals.

Lashley promises to get his title back.

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Love says she flaunts what she has but she’s also a great wrestler. She promises to prove it tonight and blasts Gail in the face at the opening bell. A side slam gets two on Gail as the announcers argue over whether being a champion means you’re the best. Josh says holding the belt means you’re the best, which is what the belt used to mean a long time ago before someone decided they were just props you pass around for fun. They head outside with Gail being sent into the apron but coming back with a Russian legsweep to send Love into them as well.

Both girls beat the count back in and slug it out with Gail taking over and scoring with a missile dropkick for two. Eat Defeat is countered so Gail goes up for a hurricanrana, only to have Love just stand there as Gail crashes. It was supposed to be a powerbomb counter I think but Love didn’t actually use her arms. The Botox Injection gets two as Gail gets her foot on the ropes. Another attempt hits the ropes though and Eat Defeat gives Kim the pin at 6:49.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of either of these girls and this didn’t make me care much more. Gail in the title scene has been done so many times that it’s really hard to care, but I have a feeling they’re setting up another Kong vs. Kim match because this company LOVES to recap stuff that was cool ten years ago.

The cast of a ghost hunting show goes to the Revolution’s ranch. Storm asks them to see if an old friend of his is still haunting a barn so the cast investigates. They think there might have been a murder. More on this later.

We recap Bram vs. Magnus, with Magnus wanting to be a family man and Bram wanting him to be back like his old self again. Bram has gone insane over it and attacked Magnus over and over, eventually bringing Magnus’ girlfriend Mickie James into it.

Magnus vs. Bram

Falls count anywhere. Magnus takes it right to the floor to start and sends Bram into the barricade. They head up to the stage where Bram tries a powerbomb like Magnus did last week but Magnus quickly counters out. He can’t piledrive Bram on the stage either and gets dropped by a low blow. Back to ringside with Bram sending him into the apron but getting caught by a missile dropkick back inside. Magnus can’t keep control though and they head outside with Bram sending him into the steps. With an evil smile on his face, Bram comes back in with some right hands but walks into a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Magnus punching from the middle rope as the announcers hype a live Twitter on next week’s show. Both guys are down so here’s Mickie James to cheer for Magnus but he wants her to leave. The distraction lets Bram get a chair to blast Magnus in the back. He sends Magnus into the post as well before laying him on the steps. Now Mickie gets in to distract Bram but James Storm of all people comes out to say you don’t hit a woman.

Magnus gets back up and stomps a charging Bram with a boot, setting up something like a Rock Bottom for two. Magnus can’t follow up though and gets chaired in the head for another near fall. The Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gets two more and Bram is stunned. Back up and Magnus hits a powerbomb, followed by a second powerbomb and the belly to back into a Rock Bottom (the Spineshaker according to Wikipedia) for the pin at 18:55.

Rating: B. I liked this more than I thought I would and I was very relieved that Storm just stopped a single thing and then left. This continues to be one of the best stories TNA has done in a very long time and I didn’t want the Revolution to screw that up. Good brawl here, but the ending kind of came out of nowhere.

Angle says Lashley has never fought anyone like him.

Magnus goes up to ask Storm what that was about. Storm says he was looking out for an old friend. Magnus isn’t sure what to think of that and we can’t see Mickie’s reaction.

We look at Angle vs. Lashley with Kurt winning the title.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging and wearing orange tonight. Angle’s entrance takes place during the break. Feeling out process to start with Lashley knocking him to the mat off a shoulder. Lashley slows things down with a headlock and Kurt heads outside for a breather. Back in and Lashley wrestles him to the mat but the champ fights up and nails a clothesline to send Lashley outside. Back in again and Lashley drives a shoulder into the ribs and puts on a bearhug. He switches over to a waistlock but the fans get Kurt to fight up.

We come back from a break with Lashley still stomping away but getting backdropped to the floor. Lashley gets back in but Angle can’t roll the Germans on him. A spinebuster gets two on the champion and Lashley is getting annoyed. He misses a big swing though and now some Germans connect but Lashley grabs the ropes to counter the third. Kurt gets caught in a running powerslam for two but the third attempt at rolling Germans works better. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s off to the ankle lock but Lashley rolls him to the floor. A limping Lashley follows him outside and sends Kurt into the steps.

They get back in with Lashley smiling, then no selling the ankle lock with a one armed delayed vertical suplex. A good looking spear gets two and Angle is bleeding from the back of his head. With nothing left to do, Lashley goes up top but gets caught in a super Angle Slam for a close two. Angle completely misses the moonsault and now it’s Lashley putting Kurt in the ankle lock. The champ almost taps but rolls Lashley into the buckle for a rollup to retain at 21:19. Lashley’s shoulder was clearly off the mat.

Rating: B+. I liked the match but it didn’t quite hit the mark the previous one did. This felt like they were going for the huge match feel and it worked to a degree, but it felt more like they were just trying instead of achieving. Still though, really good stuff here and more than worthy of a TV main event.

Lashley shakes hands but the replay shows that his shoulder was indeed up.

Overall Rating: B. Really solid show for the pay per view caliber show of the month. The Knockouts weren’t great but Angelina hasn’t been a top shelf worker for a good while now. The main event was good and Bram vs. Magnus continues to be awesome. If they can find some way to maim Eric Young and launch him to Mars, everything will be great in TNA all over again. I’m still not sure what Bell to Bell meant but at least it was still entertaining.

Results

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Figure Four

Gail Kim b. Angelina Love – Eat Defeat

Magnus b. Bram – Spineshaker

Kurt Angle b. Lashley – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 20, 2015
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Taz, Josh Matthews

This is the last show of the European tour and they have a big main event to cap things off: Lashley defending the World Title against Kurt Angle. This is a match they’ve built up very well in the last few weeks and it feels like a match worthy of closing things out. There’s also a triple threat Ultimate X match for the Tag Team Titles, but that’s not important enough to advertise on TV. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. BroMans vs. Manik/Great Sanada

Ultimate X, meaning the titles are hung above the ring where they’re suspended from two ropes in the shape of an X. You have to climb up the structures at the corners of the ring and crawl along the ropes to retrieve the titles. The Wolves are defending and it’s DJZ and Jesse Godderz this time due to Robbie being shaken up by losing to Brooke last week. The champs get quadruple teamed to start but they easily fight off the schmucks and lackeys to clean house.

Jesse gets beaten down by the champs but Angelina offers a distraction to break up a double dive. That’s fine with the Wolves as they throw DJZ over the top onto the Revolution. Nice way to get the best of both worlds, if you consider Angelina the best that is. The challengers finally get things together and beat Edwards and Richards down until Jesse holds Richards long enough to nearly allow Manik to get the belts. Instead he dropkicks Manik down, followed by a double backbreaker for good measure.

The BroMans try to get the belts without climbing and actually get their fingers on them, but the Revolution comes in to turn it into a game of chicken. That brings the Wolves back in for stereo dropkicks and all six guys are down. Richards powerbombs Manik into a Backstabber for a save and DJZ gets shoved into the truss. Jesse gets some mist to the face but Edwards crotches Sanada. A hurricanrana into the double stomp from Edwards has Sanada out of it, leaving the Wolves to take down the belts to retain at 9:23.

Rating: B-. This felt like a really good house show match: they didn’t do much besides the big stuff and the titles were never in any real danger, but it’s entertaining stuff and the crowd got into it. They weren’t going for some masterpiece here and it would have been a stretch for the Wolves to have a major problem dispatching either team. Good stuff here and exactly what it was supposed to be.

The announcers preview the main event.

Here’s Austin Aries with something to say. He hasn’t been around the last few weeks and it’s because of the Beat Down Clan. They beat him up and stole his briefcase, so get out here right now and give it back. Cue Samoa Joe and Low Ki with the briefcase with Low Ki saying possession is 9/10 of the law, so Aries can’t play his games right now.

Aries has two points: Low Ki isn’t Austin Aries because he doesn’t cash in that briefcase. Second, Low Ki isn’t Austin Aries because that briefcase doesn’t have his name on it. Aries wants his X-Division Title back too and is willing to put his briefcase up for a shot at it. Ki agrees, but only if Aries can get through Joe. Joe nails Aries and we go to a break.

Samoa Joe vs. Austin Aries

Joined in progress after a break with Aries in big trouble. His comeback is easily broken up as Joe gets in a shot to the shoulder and throws Aries to the floor. The arm gets sent into the steps before an overhead belly to belly gets two back inside. We hit the chinlock followed by a nerve hold as things slow way down. The backsplash misses though and Aries fires off some left hands in the corner. Joe is too big for the brainbuster though and he takes Aries down for a Fujiwara armbar on the bad arm. Aries makes the rope and sends Joe outside, setting up a big suicide dive, only to have Low Ki nail Aries for the DQ at 6:55.

Rating: C. This was just a match to set up the angle but it still worked well enough. Aries is able to have a good match with almost anyone in the company and I like that Low Ki seemed scared to go after the briefcase but trusted in his numbers advantage to take Aries down. Nice stuff here.

The BDC goes after Aries but Low Ki nails Joe in the head with the briefcase (great shot too) to knock him cold. Aries forearms the briefcase into Ki’s head and leaves with the belt. Cue Rockstar Spud with his X-Division Feast or Fired case and it’s time for a cash in!

X-Division Title: Rockstar Spud vs. Low Ki

Underdog gives Spud the title in seven seconds. Spud deserves something for all the work he’s done lately.

Magnus is beating Bram up in the back and throws him onto a cart. They come into the arena with Bram being knocked down the aisle. Magnus erupts on him with a chair but referees pulls him off. Mickie James comes out and kicks Bram in the ribs. That’s enough of an opening for Magnus to take Bram up to the stage for a powerbomb to leave Bram laying.

The roster is looking forward to the main event. MVP says they’re fighting for his title.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Terrell is defending. The early double teaming of Kong gets her down but she sends Gail into Taryn to take over. Kong lifts Taryn up for a slam but Gail dropkicks Terrell in the back. That doesn’t phase Kong and she drops Taryn on Gail in a cool spot. Taryn gets clotheslined out of the air but Gail counters the Implant Buster.

More double teaming fails and Gail is knocked to the floor. A middle rope dropkick staggers Kong but she shoves off the Taryn Cutter. There go the gloves but she misses the splash, allowing Taryn to hit the second attempt at the cutter for two. Instead a dropkick sends Kong to the floor where Gail nails her with a huge dive. Back in and Gail sunset bombs Taryn for two but gets rolled up for the pin to retain Taryn’s title at 6:16.

Rating: B-. I’d love to see the Divas get a chance to do something like this. Seeing the Knockouts and NXT Girls having matches like this one make me wonder why the Divas aren’t given the chance to pull off something similar. The time helped here but the whole thing wasn’t even seven minutes long, meaning it doesn’t even take a long time to put together a classic.

James Storm flips a coin to determine what happens to Matt Hardy. The decision is to cause him severe pain.

Video on Angle vs. Lashley with a theme of surviving changes in life.

Angle says he’s ready.

James Storm vs. Matt Hardy

No DQ. The brawl starts in the aisle again with Matt getting the better of it and throwing a bunch of chairs into the ring. Storm comes back by wedging a chair in the corner before they trade trashcan shots to the head. Matt gets crotched on the top and kicked in the head, setting up a superplex onto two open chairs for two. Abyss throws in some tacks but Matt knocks James’ back first onto them, followed by a top rope elbow for two.

The Twist of Fate connects but Abyss pulls the referee out at two. The rest of the Revolution gets involved but are easily dispatched, only to have Storm send him into the chair in the corner for a close two. Another Twist of Fate drops Storm but Matt can’t cover. Instead Abyss hands Storm the bell as Sanada mists Matt. A cowbell to the back of the head and two Last Calls are good for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like they were cramming way too much stuff into this. I’m not even sure why the Revolution is going after the Hardys but it’s better than them having nothing to do and just wasting time while adding more people to their ranks. This one missed though and it was due to just not letting the match build and going too hard with it.

James says he put Jeff out of wrestling and has the Revolution hold Matt.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending. We get the old school long walks through the back to the ring to really make this feel like a big deal. After the big match intros we’re ready to go with nearly twenty five minutes for this match. The fans are behind Angle but Lashley throws him into the corner with ease. A big clothesline puts Angle down again as it’s all champ so far. Kurt goes back to basics with rolling Germans and sends Lashley to the floor, but the champ takes over again with pure power.

Back in and Lashley pounds him down in the corner before starting in on the arm and shoulder. Kurt fights up and escapes, setting up a middle rope shoulder to drop Lashley. It’s time to roll some Germans and Lashley is in trouble. Kurt lets go but snaps off five more Germans before taking down the straps. The ankle lock is countered and Lashley nails the powerslam for two as we take a break.

Back with Lashley going shoulder first into the post and getting caught in the ankle lock again. Lashley rolls through but charges into a boot, setting up the Angle Slam for two. Now the spear connects for two but Lashley takes way too much time going up, allowing Angle to avoid a splash. This time it’s Kurt going up for a high cross body but Lashley rolls through into an ankle lock of his own. Kurt grabs the rope and hits another Angle Slam only to get caught in a cross armbreaker. That gets turned over into another ankle lock with the grapevine and Lashley taps at 20:18.

Rating: B+. It’s really good but it’s clear that Angle just doesn’t have the same reserves he used to. I’m ok with the title win as it feels more like one last reign for Angle instead of making him the long term top guy again. Angle more than deserves a reign like that and if he puts over a young star (which he likely will), this is fine. Lashley looks good in a loss, but the match didn’t hit the levels of epic they were hoping for. Still though, really good stuff.

Overall Rating: A-. Really solid show this week in TNA’s form of a pay per view. It’s a great way to blow off the UK tour and it felt like a major show. The big deal next week is the return of Jeff Hardy, and it’s going to be interesting to see if they can keep this momentum back in Orlando. History suggests otherwise, but this has been their best run in years. Really good show though and it’s nice to see TNA deliver when they were supposed to.

Results

Wolves b. BroMans and Manik/Great Sanada – Edwards pulled down the belts

Austin Aries b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Low Ki interfered

Rockstar Spud b. Low Ki – Underdog

James Storm b. Matt Hardy – Twist of Fate

Kurt Angle b. Bobby Lashley – Ankle lock

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Jokers Wild III
Date: March 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

This is the old standard for TNA as this series has somehow reached a third year. Thanks a lot TNA for screwing up your pay per views so I have to sit through even more of these things. It’s another show with a series of qualifying matches for a big gauntlet match for money at the end. Maybe Matthews can save the commentary here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard preview of the show that we’ve come to know and….I can’t imagine anyone looks forward to these things.

JB and Christy are drawing all of the names before each match. I won’t be mentioning any of these unless something of note happens. All matches are qualifying matches for the gauntlet match main event.

Robbie E./Jesse Godderz vs. Mr. Anderson/Al Snow

Hopefully this is the only required “random” pairing of a regular team. Anderson does Snow’s entrance: “WHAT IS EVERYONE INTERESTED IN??? WHAT DOES MR. ANDERSON REQUIRE???” Robbie pauses for a picture after the bell and says he wants Snow. The fans agree and we get Al vs. Robbie…..for five seconds until Robbie tags out. We’re still waiting on any significant contact until Snow slams Jesse a few times.

Off to Robbie who is terrified of Head. Snow takes him down into something like a Regal Stretch (arm trap STF) and pulls on his nipple. Anderson comes back in to crank on the arm (ignoring the nipple. So much for psychology) before it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the double team. It’s already SO much easier here with the announcers focusing on the match instead of talking about anything else.

Snow takes Robbie over to the corner and Jesse, ever the schnook, grabs his partner’s arm by mistake and works it over. The non-Bros (sisters?) steal the selfie stick to show Jesse what he did and tensions are teased. Instead we get a double noggin knocker so Anderson and Snow can stand tall. Back in and Robbie interferes, allowing Jesse to nail a dropkick before E. comes in to stomp on the arm for two. The hot tag brings in Snow and everything breaks down. Anderson sneaks Head in to Snow so he can knock Jesse silly, only to get rolled up by Robbie for a surprise pin.

Rating: D+. This was a decent enough match but hokey smoke does the commentary make it easier to sit through. I used to dread these shows because of how horrible Tenay and Taz were but again, Josh Matthews is his average self and it’s more than a huge improvement. The BroMans winning makes sense here and the less I have to watch Mr. Anderson be his run of the mill standard, the better I am.

The BroMans say they’re winning the $100,000 and spending it in one night.

DJZ/Samuel Shaw vs. Rockstar Spud/Awesome Kong

This could be a trainwreck. Thankfully this was taped less than a month before it aired so a lot of this is up to date, but unfortunately some is also ahead of schedule. For instance, Spud is bald here, a week before the hair vs. hair match took place. TNA goes Back to the Future? Spud is very, very happy with his partner. Spud and DJZ get things going and I really want to see DJZ hit on Kong.

They start with a basic cruiserweight style sequence until Spud dances in front of Kong. She tags herself in and actually gets caught in a headlock from DJZ, only to pull him down by the mohawk. Shaw comes in with a creepy mustache but Spud tags himself in to say that Kong is a lady. He stops Shaw from slapping her in the face and hammers away with some Popeye wind-up punches.

Spud gets double teamed in the corner as, get this, the announcers TALK ABOUT UPCOMING SHOWS TO MAKE US WANT TO SEE THEM. Not football, not references 8% of the audience will get, and not inside jokes. They actually do their jobs for a change and it’s just a step beneath glory. Kong gets the hot tag and cleans house with a crotch claw to Samuel and a chokeslam to DJZ, setting up the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant shoulders splash for the pin on DJZ.

Rating: D+. Again this was fine and a big shorter than the first match. It’s still not a good match or anything like that, but Spud is almost always a highlight of these things, even when he has nothing to work with like he did here. Is Shaw even with the company anymore? I don’t remember the last time he was on Impact and I can’t say I’m complaining. The guy is just one idea that has been played to death.

Spud is terrified of Kong so she kisses him. He seems to like it and faints.

Ethan Carter III says luck is power. Luck is having stroke. Luck is having your aunt own the company. Last year he won the competition and burned the money at Burning Man because he’s awesome like that.

Davey Richards/Eddie Edwards vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

If this isn’t the longest tag match of the night, it’s a crying shame. Josh gets his facts wrong by saying Aries has the record for most X-Division Title reigns with six (Sabin had eight). Aries and Roode both try to go to the apron and then both start try to get in. I saw them team live once and they had the most entertaining match of the night.

We finally get down to Richards vs. Aries with Austin taking him down by the wrist. A series of tags leads to top rope elbows to the arm as the announcers talk about where the Wolves came up with their name. Apparently it has to do with teaming together in Wolverhampton, England. This leads to a quick discussion about JB being in that city before and it’s right back to talking about the match. Why does Taz have a job again?

The Wolves double team Aries in the corner and drop elbows on his back, only to have their double dive broken up by a double clothesline. We settle down to Roode dropping a knee on Richards for two. Aries slaps on the Last Chancery and the fans get behind the Wolves. That lasts all of three seconds before it’s back to Roode for a hard clothesline. Davey fights back out of the corner but the double teaming brings him back down.

The match gets a bit boring, so the announcers make predictions for the gauntlet. I love this new team. Aries and Roode keep tagging in and out for chops and punches in the corner. Davey finally comes back with the eternally stupid “make your opponent DDT his partner” spot and the hot tag brings in Eddie. Everything breaks down and Davey has to save his partner from a double suplex, setting up the German suplex into a jackknife cover for two on Roode.

Aries makes the save and sends Davey to the floor before hitting the running dropkick in the corner to Edwards. The Wolves headbutt out of stereo superplex attempts but miss stereo double stomps. The Roode Bomb and brainbuster are escaped as well, setting up stereo rollups for the pin. Eh I prefer monaural but this was good enough.

Rating: B. I think we can pencil this in for match of the night. Yeah it makes it very clear that the drawings are rigged, but this was so much easier to sit through than another comedy match with WACKY partners. There are better matches out there, but this is a classic by One Night Only standards. Good stuff.

Spud, with lipstick on his face, is with Kong and asks about room rates at Motel 6. Kong puts her arm around his shoulders. Spud: “Sup baby?” This cracked me up.

Ethan Carter III is chosen for the next match but has to say all the jokers here are in the audience. He has a pretty good feeling that he might be paired with Tyrus. “Christy, I’ll tumble for you if you tumble for me first.”

Ethan Carter III/Crazzy Steve vs. Tyrus/Knux

Well what are the odds of that? I’m getting a bit tired of thinking something like that over and over. Steve has a pair of Carter’s trunks on because he’s a painted up thief. He redeems himself a bit by doing Ethan’s pose. JB thinks Tyrus is going to lay down for his boss, which isn’t something an announcer just flat out suggests most of the time. Knux’s beard is now curled to either side like pigtails.

Steve and Tyrus get things going but Carter tags himself in to tell the big man to lay down. Tyrus won’t do it though as he could win $100,000….and it’s one finger to the chest for two as Knux makes the save. Steve comes back in to grab a rollup as this slow motion continues.

Knux picks Steve up and walks him around the ring, accidentally kicking Tyrus in the face. We get the Bushwhackers march until Steve rolls Knux up for two. It’s back to Tyrus (I don’t remember a tag in the last two minutes) who misses a splash in the corner, leaving Knux to punch Carter. A dropkick and cross body put Carter down but Tyrus nails Knux from behind to give Carter the pin.

Rating: D. I really don’t care for this kind of match and unfortunately this show feels like it was made by Vince Russo to get all these wacky finishes into three hours. It doesn’t help that they’re just throwing these matches out there and not even trying to hide that the draw is rigged. I’d love to see an actual random draw, just for the fun of it.

James Storm says tonight is a game of chances so even the Revolution aren’t friends and allies tonight.

Eric Young/Bram vs. Magnus/Tommy Dreamer

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I’ve sat through every show in this series and I get ERIC YOUNG AND TOMMY FREAKING DREAMER IN THE SAME MATCH??? My early guess: this match is going to suck. Magnus doesn’t even wait on his partner to get here (can you blame him?) and the fight is on in the aisle.

Now the double brawl is on in the aisle with Dreamer and Young going at it. It’s like my greatest nightmare come to life. Some people are scared of death. Some are scared of their loved ones getting hurt. I’m scared of Eric Young vs. Tommy Dreamer. Thankfully they switch off and start fighting in the ring for the opening bell with Magnus working on the arm…..and of course tagging out to increase the suck.

Bram comes in and gets caught in a spinebuster before Dreamer does a People’s Elbow. Seriously. If Tommy Dreamer is the People’s Champion, I’m defecting to the leeches and rodents. Eric breaks it up and Bram (in his violent pink trunks) hammers away on the floor before putting on a chinlock. Dreamer won’t let Young cover him so the heels tag behind the referee’s back to trade places. At least they were polite enough to make a tag.

Young hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about what the earlier winners do before they head to the gauntlet. This might be stupid, but it’s better than most of the nonsense I usually have to hear. Dreamer finally hooks an atomic drop and the hot tag brings in Magnus to clean house. Suddenly the match is so much less aneurysm inducing. Young gets thrown to the floor and Dreamer puts on a rooster hat. Well of course he does. Idiot. A fat splash gets two on Bram but Young kicks Tommy low to set up Brighter Side of Suffering from Bram for the pin.

Rating: D. Even though Eric Young sucks and I wouldn’t mind seeing him sacrificed to a pagan crocodile god, he’s much more in his element here with a brawling style and a match that means nothing. I get far more annoyed with him when he’s in the main event and World Title pictures, so throwing him in something like this is more acceptable. Dreamer needs to be thrown into the center of the sun. Maybe his tears about ECW dying can cool things down.

The Wolves enjoy being challenged and Eddie thinks the win was a good sign. That’s some serious insight.

James Storm/Gunner vs. Kenny King/Chris Melendez

Can we get a second match with no screwy booking? It can’t be that hard. Storm and King get things going before it’s quickly off to Gunner, who doesn’t seem to care for Kenny’s antics. They trade leapfrogs until King drop toeholds him down, only to run to the floor from an angry Gunner.

Melendez comes in to face Gunner and they’re nice enough to shake hands. Chris wants Storm but James bails to the floor as the fans tell him he has Herpes. Gunner finally tags out by slapping James in the face. Storm easily takes Melendez down and puts on a Figure Four to really hammer in the evil. If nothing else it proves which leg that hold hurts.

That goes nowhere so Storm and King mock saluting each other, drawing in Gunner to clean house. James tags himself back in but gets cut by some Melendez clotheslines. A tornado DDT gets two on Storm and everything breaks down. Matthews calls King an (uncensored) SOB for a cheap shot to Melendez. Storm sidesteps a horrible spear from Gunner which hits Melendez, giving James the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but for the love of all things good and holy come up with a new way of booking these things. You can almost guarantee that you’ll have a team who has been together before or a team that is currently feuding, but in this case they doubled up on the lame booking.

Young says he and Bram love having extra opportunities to hurt people. Why not go jump on a pile of chainsaws to hurt yourself then?

Tigre Uno/Manik vs. Sonjay Dutt/Gail Kim

Well that’s certainly different. Feeling out process to start with Sonjay and Tigre trading dropkicks but Manik tags himself in. Sonjay cranks on a wristlock until Manik does a way too complicated flipping escape. Gail comes in and slaps Manik in the mask, only to get shoved down. She avoids a springboard missile dropkick though and does a springboard wristdrag with a headscissors to Tigre as a bonus. Back up and Manik throws her down by the hair but Gail puts on something like AJ’s Black Widow.

Everything breaks down and Manik cleans house to a polite smattering of applause. Manik rolls some suplexes on Sonjay as Matthews talks about being a potential X-Division talent back in the day. I think I’ve heard that before and it’s not the most thrilling idea for the division. Sonjay fights out of a chinlock and sends Manik into the buckle as the announcers discuss Grado. I still don’t get it. Kim comes back in and takes Tigre down with a headscissors, followed by Eat Defeat to both guys. Sonjay adds a top rope splash for the pin on Uno.

Rating: D+. Total spot fest here with no flow, direction or anything unique other than Gail being involved. I like it better than just having your standard match and Kim is more than good enough to hang in there with some guys, but the match was just a bunch of spots by guys that don’t seems like they know how to structure a match.

Lashley/Khoya vs. Abyss/Great Sanada

Well that’s one way to push Lashley. This is the last qualifying match. Lashley and Sanada get things started by trading wristlocks until Lashley plants him with a slam. Khoya won’t tag in though so it’s Lashley vs. Abyss. That’s fine with Lashley as he runs Abyss over as well before hitting a nice suplex for no cover.

Khoya drops to the floor to avoid another tag so Lashley hits a delayed suplex for two on Sanada. Abyss comes back in as the announcers talk about Gail Kim’s love of shoes. We get some stable miscommunication as Abyss hits Khoya by mistake and start slugging it out with Khoya getting the better of it. Both guys grab the other by the throat but Storm tells Khoya to come outside and then go to the back.

So it’s a handicap match now with Abyss splashing Lashley in the corner, followed by Sanada choking with some tape. That doesn’t knock Lashley out because this is wrestling, so Bobby gets up and starts cleaning house with clotheslines. Abyss’ chokeslam is no sold and Lashley spears both guys down for the pin.

Rating: D+. That was different and a good way to get Lashley over, but it’s still not a good match for the most part. On the other hand, the Revolution SUCKS. There are far too many people in it and I have no idea what the point of the team even is at anymore. This was another lame match but that’s almost required at this point.

Gauntlet Match

Basically a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals. Awesome Kong in at #1 and Gail Kim in at #2 for another SHOCKING twist. Gail hammers away in the corner but Kong tosses her down with ease. Some right hands drop Gail again and Kong stands on her hair. Jesse Godderz is in at #3 and offers to let the girls keep fighting. Gail forearms him in the jaw and dropkicks him in the corner, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. That earns Godderz a right hand to the ribs but AMAZINGLY, Robbie E. is in at #4.

Kong fights them both off again and no sells Robbie’s chops. The BroMans stand on her hands but Kong goes beast mode to shove them off as Rockstar Spud is in at #5. He cleans house with dropkicks and checks on Kong, who splashes the BroMans in the corner. Spud has to hang on to avoid an elimination but gets thrown to the floor through the ropes. That’s perfect timing as Ethan Carter III is in at #6 and the fight is on in the aisle.

They get back in and Carter sidesteps a charging Spud, sending him into Kong instead. The distraught Spud is eliminated and it’s the BroMans, Carter and Kong. All three guys team up to fail at eliminating her so here’s Gunner at #7. The BroMans double team him down as Kong misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor for an elimination. Eddie Edwards is in at #8 but the heels triple team him as well. There’s nothing to talk about in this match and Davey Richards is in at #9.

The Wolves start cleaning house with their wide variety of kicks. Carter gets splashed by all three good guys and gets thrown over, only to land on the steps for a save. James Storm is in at #10 to give us Storm, Gunner, Richards, Edwards, Robbie E., Godderz and Carter. Storm is fine with waiting at ringside as Carter begs him for help. That story lasts all of ten seconds before Storm gets in and adds to the incredible levels of dullness in this match.

Sonjay Dutt is in at #11 and is quickly Last Called and dumped. That’s probably good as he might have sped things up and gotten them interesting. Gunner gets a Last Call for an elimination as well. Crazzy Steve, still in Carter’s trunks, is in at #12 and tries to dump Carter until Storm makes the save. Eddie pulls Storm’s shirt over his face and chops away as Khoya is in at #13. We’ve got Khoya, Storm, Richards, Edwards, Carter, Steve, Robbie E. and Godderz at the moment.

Steve bites Carters fingers to send him to the steps again but Carter has some Kofi in him and makes a save. Bram is in at #14 and takes his time to stay away from the ring. That goes nowhere so Lashley is in at #15 to eliminate both BroMans and Khoya in short order. Storm chokes Lashley in the corner to slow him down and Eric Young is in at #16. No wonder this match sucks. Eric Young is the grand finale. The final group is Young, Steve, Lashley, Carter, Storm, Edwards, Richards and Bram.

Young piledrives Steve for an easy elimination and the Wolves clothesline Bram to the floor. The Wolves get rid of Storm as well but Young and Gunner dump both of them, leaving us with Lashley, Carter and Young. Bobby clotheslines both of them at once but Carter saves his makeshift partner. A double suplex makes Lashley look strong again but they send him to the apron for more stomping. That goes badly as well as Lashley low bridges Young out, leaving him with Carter. The 1%er is easily countered and Lashley nails a spear for the elimination, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D-. The wrestlers clearly didn’t want to be in there and much like everything else tonight, it went so fast that they didn’t have time to develop anything. This match felt like it went on forever and you knew Lashley was winning (ok maybe Carter could have won it again) pretty much the second his music hit. It’s more boring than bad but that’s not really a big improvement.

Lashley gets the check and a three and a half minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. I had some slightly elevated hopes for the new commentary team, but they couldn’t save this. They’re light years better than Taz and Tenay and made the show a lot easier to sit through, but it doesn’t make what you’re watching really dull. This was two hours of goofy booking instead of just throwing out random pairings and making it a bit more interesting before a REALLY boring main event. It’s a one idea show and that idea is done in about the first half hour. The lack of effort really shows in these things and they lose their charm way too fast, including on this one.

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Rivals
Date: February 6, 2015
Location: Royal Palace Theater, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina
Attendance: 400
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

For the love of all things good and holy don’t tell me that these shows are going to become even more frequent now. These things continue to be some of the least interesting shows produced, but the worst part is they’re just kind of there. Some of the matches are watchable, but they’re clearly just there to fill in requirements based on the lack of effort in setting up the shows. Let’s get to it.

I think the theme here is obvious.

Standard music video opening showing us some of the stuff we’ll be seeing tonight.

JB is walking down the ramp towards the ring to fire up the crowd. If there’s a more under appreciated guy in TNA, I don’t know who it is.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, which is built up over some of their legitimately great showdowns on PPV over the years.

The lights are very low again to make sure you can’t see how small the crowd is.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Both seem to be faces here. Tenay suggests that they focus on the rivalries instead of anything else, which I give about five minutes. Taryn takes her down with a hammerlock but gets caught in a headlock for a counter. The announcers are already onto medical info they’ve found online which has nothing to do with anything going on at the moment. They actually got to about two minutes of staying focused before flying off the cliff.

Taryn gets two off a running flip neckbreaker and the same off a snap suplex. A high cross body misses though as Taz calls Terrell one hot possum. Gail gets in some kicks to the ribs and Taryn is bleeding from the mouth. Off to the knee as Tenay mentions being in dental school at one point. A Brock Lock has Terrell in trouble as the commentary goes from phones to Rollie Fingers (baseball player).

Taryn finally kicks Gail out to the floor and throws her off the stage into the dozens of people in the crowd. She hits a cross body to take Gail down again but bangs up the knee even worse. Taz thinks they’re in Roanoke, Virginia as Taryn gets two off a middle rope clothesline. Off to a dragon sleeper, drawing out a bunch of Japanese wrestling references. Yeah I talk about the commentary on these shows a lot, but there isn’t much to talk about with the wrestling or stories so what else am I supposed to cover?

Gail wraps the bad knee around the post for a four count from the referee but she walks into an RKO for two with the knee slowing up the cover. Kim rolls through a high cross body for two and blocks another RKO, setting up Eat Defeat for a close two. Taryn avoids a missile dropkick and another RKO is good for the pin at 12:33. Taz: “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” It’s not the biggest upset in the world. Taz on the blood in Taryn’s mouth: “Go see Isaac Yankem.”

Rating: B-. These two always have good matches together and this was one of the better matches I’ve seen on this series. The knee work could have played into the finish more but at least it played a factor at all. At least Taryn won, but unfortunately it led to even more of Taz’s annoying commentary. That’s the running problem with most of these shows as they go from boring to insufferable almost every time.

We recap Gunner pinning Mr. Anderson to win a future World Title shot last year with an unintentional assist from James Storm. That led to a really lame feud which gets to continue here tonight.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm

Taz: “Everybody likes bullropes!” In a funny bit, there’s no mic to drop from the ceiling so JB sneaks up behind Anderson and puts a mic in his hand. “If it works it works right?” We’re finally ready to go after some cowboy stalling. By ready to go I mean ready to circle each other for a good bit until Anderson runs him over with a shoulder. Storm comes back with some right hands and chokes on the ropes, only to be sent out to the floor for more stalling.

Now James starts going after the leg because why not do the exact same thing that was done in the previous match? A chop block has Anderson in even more trouble and it’s time to talk about football. Storm mixes it up with an armbar but goes right back to the leg. Now they talk about Ed Sabol, who passed away the week after this show first aired. What it has to do with this match is beyond me but Anderson starts fighting back with right hands to FINALLY bring the commentary back to the match.

Storm misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Cue Sanada for a distraction so Storm get hit a middle rope DDT (cool move actually) for two. Sanada gets a bit more direct by kicking Anderson in the head, setting up the Lat Call for the pin at 8:27.

Rating: D+. I know he’s trying but Anderson’s matches just don’t do it for me. They can be decent if he has the time to get them there, but a basic match like this has never been his strong game. I’ll try to hold back on the commentary rants, but they were worse here than I’ve heard them in a long time. I mean they might have talked about the match for maybe three minutes of about eight and a half. That’s pitiful.

Eric Young says he and Abyss used to be best friends and now they’re going to have a Monster’s Ball match. Well of course they are. Abyss brought out the monster in Young and it brought him the World Title, so tonight Abyss is getting his best.

Kenny King vs. DJZ vs. Great Sanada vs. Samoa Joe

Elimination rules. All three try to jump Joe on the floor to start but he turns around to only see DJZ. Joe eventually kicks DJZ down before staying on the floor with him, leaving Sanada and King to fight inside. King scores with a dropkick as Joe can be seen destroying DJZ. They switch spots but King stops Joe from nailing DJZ, earning him a right hand of his own.

Kenny loads up a suicide dive but runs into King’s boot. Sanada goes after Joe for what could be an interesting match as Taz still can’t remember where they are. Oh yeah we’ve got a running gag. Back in and a triple boot puts Joe down and DJZ adds a Lionsault. A springboard spinning legdrop gets two for King and three straight elbows in the corner have Joe reeling.

The commentary kind of stays on the match by comparing Joe to Andre the Giant in battle royals, bringing them to a discussion of Haystacks Calhoun. Joe starts fighting back and catches DJZ in a Muscle Buster for an elimination. Another double team doesn’t work that well as Joe punches both guys away but walks into a springboard Blockbuster from King for two.

Sanada goes after King but gets caught in the Clutch to get us down to Joe vs. King. King immediately goes up for the missile dropkick but Joe just walks away. I still love that spot. The release Rock Bottom out of the corner looks to set up the Muscle Buster but Sanada mists Joe (with the referee CLEARLY LOOKING AT IT) to give King the pin.

Rating: C. Eh not terrible and I liked the idea of throwing the win to King instead of just having Joe run through everyone in his sight. That being said, HOW DID THE REFEREE NOT DQ KING FOR THE MIST??? Even Taz, the barren wasteland of intelligence on commentary, saw what happened and wanted to know how the referee couldn’t call anything. Stuff like that drives me crazy, especially after a quick enough and decent match.

Roode says he and MVP have hated each other since MVP sat foot in this company because they both want the World Title. Tonight MVP learns why it pays to be Roode.

Recap of Bram vs. Abyss in their hardcore series.

Bram vs. Gunner

When were these two rivals? From what I can find they only had a single match at No Surrender last year which was more about Samuel Shaw and Gunner. Bram bails from Gunner to start before running into a shoulder block for two. A headlock of all things slows Gunner down as the announcers talk about where they’re going for a post show party.

Tenay even brings up the Aces and 8’s but Taz laughs it off. Bram sends him into the buckle for the expected results as they’re still on this after party while throwing in a discussion of Bobo the cameraman. They head outside for a bit with Bram pulling him into the post to take over for the first time.

We hit the chinlock on Gunner until he fights up and rams Bram into the corner as the talk is back to football. They slug it out from their knees until Bram has to escape an F5 attempt. A Rock Bottom works a bit better for Gunner and the fans chant USA. Gunner gets crotched on the top rope but tries a sunset bomb, only to have Bram sit on top of him for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: D+. This would have been so much better if they had let them brawl. Gunner can get in a fight when he needs to and this would have been the perfect option. However, why let a new hardcore guy like Bram showcase himself when you can have Abyss do it again after all those years of doing the exact same thing?

We look back at EC3 injuring Angle’s knee and still being undefeated.

Here are Carter and Spud to say Ethan can’t face his rivals because he’s beaten them all. He goes over the list of everyone he’s beaten and sent away, meaning he’s the greatest wrestler in the world. This brings out Austin Aries, who doesn’t like the sound of that moniker. Carter can’t call himself that until he faces Austin Aries in this ring because he brings greatness out of people. “Let’s start a rivalry right now.”

Ethan Carter III vs. Austin Aries

Aries goes right for the brainbuster but settles for an armdrag and the Last Chancery. Carter bails to the floor and takes a big dive as it’s all Aries early on. He makes the mistake of chasing Spud though and gets caught by a big clothesline to give Carter his first offense. Back in and my goodness the crowd being blacked out is distracting. It’s like they’re wrestling in an elementary school gym with a big black curtain behind the three rows of fans.

Aries is rammed face first into the mat for two and we hit the chinlock. Spud gets in a few cheap shots when Aries is sent to the floor again but Carter follows him out and eats some chops to the chest. Now we’re talking about wrestlers’ real names and football careers. Back in for all of ten seconds before Carter dumps him again. Spud has to adjust the ring skirt so you can’t see the wood underneath the ring.

We hit another chinlock on Austin before he avoids being sent all the way to the floor. Carter gets sent into alternating buckles about ten times in a row but is able to come back with a powerbomb for two. The 1%er is countered but Aries can’t hit the running corner dropkick. Instead he snaps Carter’s neck across the rope and hits the missile dropkick. The brainbuster is loaded up but Spud pulls the foot and plays Bobby Heenan at Wrestlemania V to give Carter the pin at 8:30.

Rating: D. WAY too much stalling in this one as they had to go outside or to the chinlock almost every other minute. I don’t think anyone thought Carter was going to lose here but that doesn’t mean they can’t give the fans something to get excited about anyway. Spud and Carter were such a great pairing and they’re still entertaining now that they’re feuding.

Spud takes a brainbuster post match.

Abyss says Eric Young is his rival. Joseph Park brought out the best in him and then Young won the World Title. Tonight is just a regular match so Abyss can’t hurt him too bad, but it’s still going to hurt.

Video on Abyss embracing his dark side. The Joseph Park stuff feels like an eternity ago.

Eric Young vs. Abyss

Before the match Abyss grabs the mic and just make it a Monster’s Ball match already. Abyss says it’s been a long time and this show is about rivals. He can’t help but think about the time when they were friends. Eric and Joseph Park brought out the best in each other and Young wound up winning the World Title. However, Abyss is Young’s fault and Eric is lucky that this isn’t a hardcore match. Young is tired of being blamed for Abyss’ mess, so let’s get nuts and make this Monster’s Ball. I’m stunned.

Young fires off right hands to start and scores with his spinning forearm to the head. Abyss gets tired of getting punched in the face and throws Eric to the floor before getting some toys. Back to the football stuff with Taz acknowledging that they’re talking about it a lot tonight. Young finds a hockey stick and throws more weapons into the ring but runs into an elbow to the jaw.

It’s already table time as Taz finally remembers the Oakland Raiders line about cheating being encouraged. The table is set at ringside for later as Young is sent hard into the corner. Abyss cracks him in the head with a trashcan lid for a loud smack but the follow up trashcan shot doesn’t sound as good. The fans want tacks but get a chair to Young’s ribs instead. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Abyss crotches himself on a chair. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by what they’re seeing here. Tenay asks if there’s such a thing as Yambag Scrabble to make my headache even worse.

Young scores with a missile dropkick for two and starts swinging the kendo stick. Somehow this turns into a discussion of Paul Bunyan chopping down trees with jujitsu. Taz: “With the edge of his hand!” Abyss throws Young through the table at ringside but only gets two back inside. It’s Janice time but Young crotches him with a cheese grater. The top rope elbow is good for the pin at 10:54.

Rating: C-. Another “well, that happened” match as we’ve seen these two have weapons matches so many times that it’s really hard to get excited about it again. The fact that this was just a by the numbers Monster’s Ball match doesn’t help either, but that’s the case for almost every special match in this series.

Long recap of Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love, dating back to the original Beautiful People days. If nothing else we get to look at Lacey Von Erich again.

Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

Madison cranks on the arm to start and mocks Angelina’s entrance, earning her a forearm to the head. Back in and a quick rollup gets two for Madison, followed by the scissors stomp. Angelina doesn’t appreciate that and takes it outside to send Rayne into the barricade. A big forearm gets another two for Angelina as this is really dull so far. She follows up with a basement dropkick and a second dropkick to send Madison back to the floor.

Back in and Tenay and Taz babble on about whatever their latest stupid topic is. Madison makes her comeback with a forearm and an enziguri, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Rayne Drop is countered into Lights Out (downward spiral) for a near fall. Another Rayne Drop is countered and Love grabs a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:59.

Rating: F+. The only good thing here is how well they look in their outfits. Other than that, this was one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in recent memory. It was clear that neither of them was interested in doing anything outside of just the basics and that’s not a good thing after a show this dull so far.

MVP says Bobby Roode is rewriting history because he wasn’t scared to fight Bobby for the title. The rivalry is because MVP is one of the best of all time and Roode just thinks he is. If Roode wants to test himself against the best then MVP is fine with beating the heck out of him tonight.

We recap Lashley beating Eric Young to win the World Title and hurting his arm until Bobby Roode made the save. This led to MVP being fired as the boss and Kurt Angle taking the job.

And now, just so they don’t have to do even more new stuff, here’s Roode vs. Lashley for the World Title from Impact on October 24, 2014.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode

They have a ton of time for this, Lashley is defending and Kurt Angle is guest referee. MVP and King are nowhere in sight. Lashley powers Bobby into the corner to start and easily takes him down with an amateur move. A hard shoulder to the ribs has Roode in even more trouble but Bobby comes back with a clothesline and tells Lashley to bring it on. The champ is all fired up but his clothesline is countered into the Crossface, sending Lashley out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Lashley holding a reverse wasitlock until Bobby fights up with forearms. A quick Blockbuster gets two but Roode charges into a spinning spinebuster. Lashley ducks another shot but clotheslines Angle (first time he’s meant anything in the match) by mistake. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley nails the spear with no one to count the pin. Another spear hits Angle to knock him to the floor, allowing Roode to enziguri Lashley to the floor.

Bobby follows and avoids a spear, sending a ring attendant flying. A Roode Bomb on the ramp puts both guys down but there’s still no Angle to count anything. Instead Brian Hebner comes in to count the near fall and Bobby is frustrated. Lashley hits Roode low and gets the belt but Hebner says no.

That earns him a knockout clothesline, allowing Lashley to hit Roode with the belt. Angle comes in to count two and is finally back to his feet. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Roode falls on top for the pin and the title at 17:49.

Rating: B. The match got going near the middle but I really don’t see why Angle needed to be out there. Any regular referee could have played his role to the same degree but maybe they’re setting up Lashley vs. Angle down the line? The important part though is Roode being made into a bigger deal than he was before, but now he needs to have a very solid title reign to make it even better. TNA is really needing a top face and if Roode is that guy then so be it.

Bobby Roode vs. MVP

The announcers of course discuss sushi. Roode charges the ring and hammers away before sending MVP into the buckle. Another clothesline sends MVP bailing to the floor but he comes back with a kick to the face. Roode gets punched on the floor as we hear about Masahiro Chono influencing MVP’s offense. Back in and MVP misses a running boot in the corner but Kenny King comes in for the DQ at 2:28.

Eric Young runs out for the save and let’s have a tag match, because WE NEED MORE ERIC YOUNG!

Eric Young/Bobby Roode vs. MVP/Kenny King

Young and King get started with Kenny slugging him down in the corner. Eric comes back with a wristlock and makes the tag to Roode for a double hiptoss. Off to MVP for some shots to Bobby’s ribs and forearms to the head. For some reason this warrants a talk about the original Sheik as Roode scores with a suplex for two. Bobby follows it up by falling out to the floor and getting stomped by King. MVP covers with one finger for two because he’s a cocky heel that knows how to annoy a crowd.

We hit the chinlock on Roode and somehow find more football stuff to talk about. Roode fights up with a sunset flip and the referee has to slow down because MVP misses his save. A good looking spin kick to the head drops Roode and MVP cancels the Ballin Elbow and just covers for two. Back up and the spinebuster plants King and it’s the hot tag to Roode. Eric cleans house and the fans just do not care for the most part. A belly to belly gets two on King but Kenny comes back with a kind of reverse AA to plant Eric. MVP is “injured” but of course is playing possum, setting up the Black Out kick for the pin on Eric at 8:03.

Rating: C-. Who in the world thought we needed to see Eric Young twice in one night? Thankfully it was Roode in there most of the time to keep things from getting horrible, but this really wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. I like that they mixed it up a bit as you can only see so many singles matches in a row, but this really didn’t do it for me. Then again that might be all about Eric Young.

Magnus talks about beating Jeff Hardy to win the World Title for the first time at Final Resolution to win the World Title. Who thought that Jeff Hardy could lose a ladder match? Edge and Christian perhaps? Tonight he gets to face Hardy one more time and he’ll enjoy getting to see the teenage girls weeping. It’s the same story it always is between these two.

We recap the tournament for the World Title with Magnus eventually beating Jeff in a Dixieland match for the title.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus

Jeff goes into the crowd with his home state fans before the match. We even get big match intros to kill even more time. Magnus shoves him down to start and tells the painted one to bring it. Hardy’s arm work doesn’t get him anywhere so Magnus stomps him down in the corner. A clothesline sends Magnus to the floor and Jeff follows him out with a nice dive. Back in and the mule kick gets two and Jeff calls for the creatures. A slingshot is countered with a European uppercut and Hardy falls back out to the floor.

Back in and Magnus gets too cocky and earns a right hand to the face. They head right back outside with Hardy getting rammed into the barricade and ripping down the ring skirt in the process. The announcers debate bad commentators named Mike over the years as Magnus powerbombs Jeff down. Time for some chinlockery until Jeff jawbreaks his way to freedom. He can’t follow up though and gets caught in an abdominal stretch.

Jeff ducks another clothesline and starts his comeback with the legdrop between the legs. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for two followed by the Twisting Stunner. The Twist of Fate gets two but Magnus counters into something like the ProtoBomb for two of his own. Magnus tries a Twist of Fate of his own but Hardy grabs the real thing again, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C. That was indeed a wrestling match. I really don’t know what else I’m supposed to say here. You had a face vs. a heel and the face won with his finishing combination. Magnus isn’t bad but he really needs a character of some sort, which he seems to be getting with Bram. Hardy winning was obvious here and it capped off a thoroughly dull show.

Overall Rating: D-. These shows are really just boring house shows with HORRIBLE commentary. That doesn’t make me want to stick around as these things are becoming more of a chore to sit through every month. When they can’t even keep the concept going (“LET’S START A RIVALRY RIGHT HERE!”) for three hours without using a TV match that has aired on almost every special they air, it’s time for them to retool these things or stop advertising them before they become even more of an embarrassment.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 10, 2014
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Hosts: Christy Hemme, Jeremy Borash

It’s week two of the Best of 2014 which means we should be getting the Tag Team Title series, which is pretty easily the best thing that happened all year in the company. Unfortunately TNA cut so much out of the matches last week that you could barely get to the good parts and I can’t imagine anything else this week. Let’s get to it.

Just like last week, I’ll be posting the full versions of the matches, even though they’re clipped on the broadcast.

After a quick intro, we get right to the tag teams starting on Impact, July 31.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Wolves

Wolves are defending. Eddie and Matt crank arm work to start as the fans are split. The champions take over but Matt sends Richards into the corner to take over. Off to Jeff as the Hardys start working over Davey’s arm. A double suplex gets two and it’s back to a wristlock from Matt. Richards finally gets in a shot to the head and makes a tag off to Edwards to clean house.

A double hurricanrana puts both Hardys on the floor, setting up a double suicide dive to keep the champions in control. Back in and Eddie enziguris Jeff into a German suplex from Davey for two. Matt saves his brother from a double suplex before the Wolves are thrown outside. Poetry In Motion over the top puts everyone down before a regular one hits Eddie in the corner.

The Side Effect sets up the Swanton but Richards sends Jeff outside before a cover. Matt gets two off a moonsault to Edwards before both Hardys put on Ice Picks (double underhook guillotine chokes). Davey breaks Jeff’s hold and makes the save before sending him crashing to the floor.

The kick to Matt’s chest sets up the double double stomp for two on Matt. Back up and a Twist of Fate gets two on Davey and a backslide gets the same for Richards. Jeff is still down, allowing the Wolves to hit their powerbomb/top robe Backstabber for the pin on Matt at 10:08.

Rating: B. This was good but not great. The tagging part went away a few minutes into the match but that’s probably the best thing all around. I didn’t know who was going to win here and that’s a very good thing considering how this could have gone. The Hardys still looked good and Matt hasn’t looked like this in years.

Here’s the main event from that same show.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Lashley

Bobby is defending and it’s a staredown to start. Aries goes to the leg to start but it’s a very slow opening. More kicks have Lashley in trouble and Austin wraps his leg around the ropes for even more kicks. A dropkick to the back sends Lashley to the floor but his dive is caught in midair for a belly to belly suplex as we take a break. Back with Lashley taking over and putting on a reverse bearhug.

Aries fights up but gets caught in a regular bearhug. Austin escapes again but gets caught in a nice gorilla press drop. The Dominator is countered with a discus forearm and a series of regular forearms in the corner. Lashley is sent to the floor and Aries hits the top rope ax handle, setting up a missile dropkick back inside. The corner dropkick is caught in the Dominator though (sweet counter) but the spear is countered into the Last Chancery.

Lashley fights out and lifts Aries for a suplex but just throws Aries forward. Another spear attempt misses and there’s the discus forearm to send Lashley back into the corner. The running drokick sets up the brainbuster but Lashley is up at two. Lashley rolls away to avoid the 450 but Aries misses the suicide dive. Back in and the spear retains Lashley’s title at 16:28.

Rating: B-. Good match here as Lashley piles up another hero. This is basic wrestling booking as we’re waiting on the hero to rise up and take the title back to the good side. Lashley is little more than a dragon, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good story. Nice match here too with Aries playing the hero really well.

We recap Sanada turning on Great Muta after falling under the influence of James Storm as well as the formation of the Revolution.

From the “biggest show of the year”, here’s the main event of Bound For Glory.

Great Sanada/James Storm vs. Tajiri/Great Muta

Storm gives a great speech about turning one of Japan’s own against them. That little bit of storyline actually felt really refreshing. Muta sprays mist to start and gets things going with Sanada. They fight over a leglock on the mat until Muta comes up and works on the arm. It’s back down to the mat and Sanada sprays Mist at Muta but only hits air. Off to Tajiri vs. Storm with James taking a bunch of kicks. Tajiri grabs the beard but it’s quickly back to Sanada, only to have him get low bridged out to the floor.

Sanada kicks Tajiri to the floor and then under the ring as things slow WAY down. Tajiri has taken mist off camera and is blinded back inside. Storm and Sanada start slowly double teaming as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Muta. A dropkick gets two for Sanada and we hit the nerve hold.

Back up and Sanada pulls out a white stick of some kind of nail Tajiri again. Tajiri comes right back with a kick and tags in Muta to clean house. Muta hammers on Sanada and drops an elbow for two, only to get caught in Closing Time. Storm drops a top rope elbow and Sanada’s moonsault gets two. Everything breaks down and Storm is backdropped to the floor. Tajiri superkicks Sanada down and it’s a double mist and the Shining Wizard to give Muta the pin at 10:50.

Rating: D+. I just sat through this whole show for an eleven minute main event. Storm not taking the pin is a good thing, but it’s not like this match means anything at the end of the day. However, there’s one thing that stands out above all this: at the end of the day, the two oldest guys on the show stood tall to end the show. Some things never change.

We see the end of Roode vs. Lashley I on Impact from September 17.

Time for the Hardcore War on August 7’s Impact. We pick it up right before the last man enters but here’s the whole match.

Ethan Carter III/Rhino/Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky vs. Team 3D/Tommy Dreamer/???

This is a hardcore war but entrances are staggered every 90 seconds and the win can’t take place until the last man enters. It’s Carter vs. Dreamer to get things going and both have weapons. They quickly head outside with Dreamer’s knees being sent into the steps. Back in and Dreamer hits a quick suplex with a Singapore cane before driving in a bunch of right hands in the corner. Rhino comes in to make it 2-1 and nails Dreamer with the trashcan lid. A bad looking spinebuster sets up some cane shots but D-Von ties things up with a trashcan. D-Von takes over with a few shots of his own and we take a break.

Back with Snitsky giving the Carters an advantage (and looking to weigh about 400lbs) until Bully Ray runs out to even things up again and clean house. Ray looks up at Dixie and Mo as the ECW guys keep dominating. Stephens comes in to complete Team Dixie and clean house with a chair. The heels destroy everyone until the big mystery partner is Al Snow.

The fans want Head (and have a bunch of mannequin heads of course) as Al beats up everyone again. Ray nails a top rope cross body (didn’t look bad either) to take out the mercenaries. Spud tries to make a save but gets What’s Up from Head. Snow moonsaults onto every heel not named Rhino as this just keeps going. Not that it matters as 3D ends Rhino at 17:37.

Rating: D+. This was just WarGames minus the cage and a lot of the talent. There wasn’t much to see here and Al Snow was about as uninteresting of a partner as there could have been. Also, I didn’t need a second hardcore match in an hour but this show is an ECW tribute show anymore so you have to have it.

From later in the same show.

Here’s all of Dixie’s team but she fires Stephens and Snitsky like the maniac she is. Cue Team 3D and Dreamer with a table but Dixie hides behind everyone she’s paid off. Ray promises to put Dixie through a table and Dreamer says Dixie is everything that’s wrong with this business. Mo nails Dreamer and the brawl is on with the ECW guys taking over. Suddenly Dixie is alone in the ring with 3D but runs when she’s about to take 3D.

Spud swears it’s never going to happen but the entire locker room comes out to throw Dixie to the wolves (Team 3D, not Richards/Edwards). D-Von loads her up (and grabs her in a rather personal spot) and Bully powerbombs Dixie off the middle rope through the table, in what I believe was Dixie’s first bump ever. We even get Bully’s old euphoric look and the announcers are WAY too happy to see this.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I have no problem with a heel, male or female, taking a big bump to end a story. What I’m not wild on is how everything was announced in advance. This is going to cause some issues in the mainstream media given how violent it was, but that’s the nature of pro wrestling. It felt very scripted though and that’s not a good thing, but the ending was exactly what it should have been.

From August 20. Here are the Hardys to talk about wanting to become the top team in tag team wrestling again. They’re back because the fans want them to be, but they need Team 3D out here right now. Bully asks if the Hardys know who they are and the fans want to see them fight one more time. Ray knows both teams want to be Tag Team Champions, meaning they need the Wolves out here right now. Cue the Wolves for the required “we respect you” speech. They’re willing to put up the titles anytime and anywhere.

We see the end of the X-Division Title match on August 7.

From Bound For Glory.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Low Ki

Joe is defending. Hayashi is probably best known in America as a low level cruiserweight guy about fourteen years ago. Ki takes over to start but Joe crushes both guys in the corner and kicks Kaz in the head. There’s the chop to Hayashi’s back but he fires off right hands to the champ’s face and knocks Joe to the floor. The fans are behind Low Ki as he kicks both guys down and gets two on Joe. Both challengers head to the floor and get taken out by a big dive as we see the crowd sitting still yet chanting at the same time.

Back in and Low Ki chops at Joe but the champ busts out his powerbomb into the crab into the STF until Hayashi remembers he’s in this match and puts Joe in a Crossface without breaking the hold on Ki. Hayashi hits a kind of Zig Zag for two on Joe with Ki making the save. A quick Warrior’s Way gets two on Kaz and they head outside so Joe can nail a double dive. Back in and Kaz charges into a Rock Bottom out of the corner but Low Ki breaks up the MuscleBuster. That earns him a Koquina Clutch and Ki passes out to retain Joe’s title at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Not bad for the most part here but it didn’t mean anything for the most part. This was the same three way style match TNA has done a dozen times with Hayashi just being a warm body to fill out the match. The fact that the winner was already spoiled with the TV tapings didn’t help either.

We see Joe vacating the X-Division Title, followed by Low Ki winning it on November 19.

Time for the girls on September 4 (it was the 3^rd but whatever).

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Gail is defending and quickly takes her down to start. A rollup gets two for Terrell and a middle rope clothesline gets the same. Gail comes right back with a top rope hurricanrana, followed by a DDT on the arm. She misses the charge in the corner though and falls out to the floor. Taryn loads up the steps but gets caught in a neckbreaker onto the steel which knocks both girls silly. Back in and Eat Defeat gets two, followed by an RKO for the same for Taryn. Gail is staggered so Terrell goes up for a high cross body, only to have Gail roll through to retain at 6:00.

Rating: C+. The match was decent but the fans chanting THIS IS AWESOME shows how lame womens’ wrestling has been lately. It was entertaining but awesome is a stretch to put it mildly. This was miles beneath the stuff they did a year or so ago but it still wasn’t bad. The division is pretty horrible anymore though as there’s barely a division to speak of.

We might get a solution to that here though as Havok debuts and destroys Taryn with White Noise and Gail with a one arm chokeslam.

Havok would win the title soon thereafter.

We see Taryn Terrell winning the title in a moment that didn’t mean as much as they wanted it to on November 19.

You knew this was coming. From October 8.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves

The Wolves are defending and this is Full Metal Mayhem, meaning TLC. Richards has a somewhat bad leg coming into this but he seems to be fine. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Matt hitting what looked like the Side Effect to Eddie on the apron. Bully hammers on Jeff on the floor as weapons are being sets up on the floor. Matt goes for a climb but Ray comes in for a save with a Rock Bottom.

Davey breaks up Ray’s attempt and DDTs him, only to have D-Von nail Richards a second later. Matt gets enziguried into a German suplex onto a pair of open chairs. Eddie throws Jeff into the air and Ray catches him in a Cutter for a 3D. They chop it out but Matt is back up to take both guys down. We get the Tower of Doom with Ray electric chairing Matt who superplexes Edwards. D-Von bridges a piece of barricade between the apron and some overturned steps but Davey headbutts him onto the barricade.

Ray saves his partner from a dive and powerbombs Richards down, only to miss a middle rope backsplash. He comes right back with another powerbomb to send Richards onto the barricade, giving Richards one of the most shocked looks I’ve ever seen. Back with Jeff taking a ladder to the face and D-Von cleans house with a chair.

Richards comes back with a chair of his own but this time it’s Jeff popping up to take over. The Whisper in the Wind and Swanton have Ray in trouble but he pops right back up for a brawl with Jeff on the floor. The Twisting Stunner has Ray in trouble and Jeff brings out another table. He bridges it between the turned over steps and the apron with the legs up. Jeff misses the legdrop though and crashes through the table, leaving him in a huge heap on the floor.

Back in and Ray goes up, only to have Edwards set up a ladder of his own next to it. Bully kicks him down but Matt comes in with a ladder of his own. All three go up and slug it out with Edwards getting slammed off the top. Mat and Ray grab for the belts but send them swinging around before knocking each other off with Matt flying into a ladder.

Davey and Matt slug it out with Hardy getting the better of it and bringing in another table. Everyone heads outside again with Matt climbing about halfway up a huge ladder to legdrop Davey through a table. Richards has taken one heck of a beating here. D-Von cleans house with the ladder and brings in the big ladder to make thing even more fun. Team 3D loads up What’s Up but Edwards shoves D-Von to the floor.

Davey goes up the big ladder but gets shoved onto the floor and head first into the barricade. The Hardys make another save with chairs and put Ray on two tables. Jeff goes up top of the big ladder but Davey shoves it over, sending Hardy into a HUGE splash onto Ray for a horrible looking crash. Davey and Matt slug it out on top of the ladder but Edwards makes a save and powerbombs Matt through a table, allowing Davey to take down the belts for the win at 23:52.

Rating: A. I came into this show thinking this match wasn’t going to be able to live up to its hype and they got me. This was an AWESOME match with a ton of high spots and some insane looking bumps. The fact that they didn’t save this for Bound For Glory shows you just how much they don’t care about that show this year. Excellent match and one of the best things TNA has done in years.

We see like a minute of Roode beating Lashley on October 29. The celebration gets more time than the match.

Next week: we start counting down the top twenty moments in Impact history. That could be interesting. We’re off the air at 10:58 again.

Overall Rating: B. WAY better this week as they actually showed the good stuff (well for the most part at least) that TNA did this year. It’s far from perfect with the matches being clipped to death and a lot of stuff being shown that didn’t need to be there (Bound For Glory main event for example) but they focused on the best stuff and made me look forward to the series continuing. When TNA has their head on straight and stops trying to reinvent the wheel, they can be a very entertaining show.

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Today we’re looking at a chick who is now one of the focuses of the Divas division. If nothing else it shows you the power of sleeping with John Cena. Today is Nikki Bella.

The Bellas got started in developmental in 2007 and we’ll pick things up on ECW on March 30, 2009 with their first showdown.

Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

Nikki comes out with Miz and Morrison but Brie counters with Carlito and Primo. Brie grabs a quick rollup for two before just hammering away at her sister’s face. Some armdrags put Nikki down but she grabs a quick suplex for two. Brie hooks a bulldog but the tag teams get in a brawl, allowing Nikki to roll up Brie for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow this is going to be even worse when we get the big showdown in a few months. The girls just aren’t that good in the ring and it really shows in these matches. Nikki and Brie try out there but they seem to take things way more seriously than they should and it drags everything down. Just be good looking women and shake your hips.

Nikki didn’t have a lot of success at first so we’ll jump ahead to Raw on August 9, 2010.

Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall vs. Bella Twins

This is a Summer Spectacular or something. They’re all in swimsuits, but of course one pieces. Santino and Kozlov are here too and they come in on a water slide. This goes like 3 minutes and one of the Bellas hits a cross body to beat Jillian. Tamina comes out in a swimsuit as well and slaps Santino’s tights. Yep it’s Glamarella all over again.

Rating: N/A. The girls looked good at least. If you have a thing for legs, FIND THIS MATCH IMMEDIATELY.

Off to Tribute to the Troops 2010, when it still meant something.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Kelly Kelly vs. Alicia Fox/Melina/Laycool

Not on the first show either. Yep the evil ones are definitely hotter. They’re all in Santa outfits of course. Alicia vs. a Bella starts us off and Cole thinks it’s Nikki. Since Cole is a very stupid man we’ll call her Brie. Melina is working as a heel here to play up the whole turn on Raw two days ago. Kelly comes in and we get the headscissors to show off the underwear under her skirt. She beats the tar out of Michelle before Layla saves. Everyone gets in until Kelly hits K2 to beat Michelle. Another nothing match.

We’ll head stateside again for Raw on March 7, 2011.

Women’s Title: Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

The bell is after the break. Gail Kim is here with Eve. Eve starts all fired up and hammers away on Nikki including a bicycle kick. Cole talks about going to be on New Year’s Eve and waking up on Christmas morning. That’s how he feels about introducing his referee tonight. Cole literally gets up on the table and grabs a mic, saying we need to end this because he wants to announce his referee. Eve uses the bottom rope as a springboard to get an enziguri. Twin Magic gets caught and a spinning neckbreaker gives eve the win at 3:12.

Rating: C. Even with the Cole stuff in there the whole time this wasn’t bad for the most part. Eve dominated and thankfully they didn’t manage to make things look stupid with the Twin Magic getting by again. It makes the referee and wrestlers look stupid so I’m glad it failed here. Decent match here and pretty good for the most part. Should be interesting to see where it goes from here too.

Another year, another Tribute to the Troops, this time in 2011.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos

Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it’s off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.

The Twins would go back to the only thing that worked for them on Raw, January 2, 2012.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly vs. let’s say Brie to start and Kelly does her spanking and Stinkface to get on my nerves even more. Eve comes in and does her usual stuff. The moonsault is broken up and it’s Nikki in now. Top rope moonsault gets two and it’s Twin Magic for the pin on Eve at 2:04. Are we really back to this again?

Then things would change in a hurry on Raw, April 23, 2012.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match here’s Eve to say that this is now a lumberjack match. Maxine is one of the divas here so I’m sure she’ll be complaining about not being off NXT yet this week again. Nikki dropkicks Beth down and monkey flips her down. That results in her getting slammed into the corner and gorilla press dropped. Off to a chinlock followed by a backbreaker. Beth throws her to the floor and injures her knee. Brie goes after Beth and the lumberjacks jump on Beth in a dog pile. I think there was a switch in the pile but I’m not sure. Beth’s ankle or leg is messed up, allowing Nikki to roll her up and win the title at 4:11.

Rating: D. The girls looked good, the match was the usual Diva stuff, the whole deal with the Bellas leaving soon is now up in the air, I still don’t care about the Divas. Next. Oh and the leg injury appears to be real. This really was a surprise, mainly due to rumors that the Bellas were going to be leaving soon.

The title reign would last all of six days and the Bellas actually would leave the company for over a year. They would return in 2013 and pick up where they left off. From Raw on October 21, 2013.

Bella Twins vs. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee

Brie takes Tamina down to start but the Twin is knocked to the floor with ease. Back in and a snap suplex gets two on Brie before we hit the cravate. Off to Nikki who is easily slammed down before it’s off to AJ, who gets the biggest reaction of the match. Nikki fights out of a chinlock and makes the hot tag off to Brie, sending the fans back into their coma. Brie speeds things up and dropkicks Brie down, only to get caught in a half crab. Brie hits a bad looking knee to the ribs before accidentally kneeing Tamina in the head. Not that it matters though as the Bella Buster pins AJ at 5:27.

Rating: D. The Bellas look good in their outfits but man alive this face turn isn’t working. The problem is the double turn by the Bellas and AJ depends on if you like Total Divas. If you like the show, you buy the double turn. If you don’t like Total Divas, you side with AJ, even though there aren’t any shades of gray in the story. AJ is meant to be the heel and Brie as the girl who is fighting for what she wants, even though no one seems to care.

Then came Total Divas, which basically starred the Bellas in the early days. This led to a long feud with the True Divas, including this mathc on Raw, December 2, 2013.

Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Natalya

The non-Total Divas are now the True Divas. AJ skips around the ring while Nikki gets two off a crucifix on Tamina to start. Brie comes in with a middle rope dropkick and a running knee to Snuka’s chest. AJ is still skipping around the ring. Summer chokes Brie on the ropes and shows off her flexibility before getting a two count.

Brie finally fights out and makes the tag to Natalya who speeds things up a bit. Tamina is knocked off the apron so Summer shouts at AJ to stop skipping and make the tag. AJ finally comes in and nearly gets caught in the Sharpshooter as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Natalya roll up AJ for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with the Total Divas face push in a nutshell: we haven’t been given a reason to care about them. There was never a moment where they were all turned face, other than AJ’s promo from months ago which was all true stuff. WWE is assuming that fans like the Total Divas because they have a reality show and the Bellas date Cena and Bryan, though I don’t think Cena and Nikki have ever been announced on WWE TV. Other than that, they just started being faces and the announcers started talking about AJ being mean. That’s not enough to build a boring feud on and it’s showing badly.

Off to the blue show on March 14, 2014.

Nikki Bella vs. Tamina Snuka

AJ sits in on commentary as Tamina takes Nikki down by the hair. Nikki is sent to the floor and holds her knee, prompting some amusing fake concern from the champ. Back in and Nikki gets slammed down but still avoids the Superfly Splash. AJ tries to figure out who the #1 contender is as Tamina kicks Nikki’s head off for two. Tamina gets bored with Nikki and throws Brie into the barricade for fun. It doesn’t pay off though as Nikki hits the Rack for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D. Divas, regular match, Nikki’s turn for a push. Next.

Nikki would get a big push over the summer and eventually turned heel on her sister, setting up this match at Hell in a Cell 2014.

Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella

Loser is the winner’s servant for 30 days. They lock up to start with Brie sending Nikki into the corner but missing a charge. Nikki runs her over for two and a facebuster gets the same. The fans start chanting JBL because NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS STORY. Brie plants her face first for two before hitting a few dropkicks. A running knee to the face has Nikki in trouble but she misses a charge and falls out to the floor.

She comes up clutching her knee and heads back inside to take a missile dropkick for two. Nikki pops back up and hooks the Rack for two. Brie slaps on the YES Lock but Nikki gets her feet on the ropes. Nikki comes back with a hard forearm to the face and a second Rack for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: D+. The worst part: the wrestling wasn’t all that bad. The problem with this is it’s one of the least interesting stories in years as I don’t even remember why they’re fighting. I get that it’s about Brie quitting but are we really supposed to care that a woman is dating John Cena (wait, does that relationship exist in WWE?) and had to wrestle some handicap matches against some heels. Also, if Nikki hates her sister so much, why would she want her around for thirty more days?

We’ll wrap it up with Nikki’s title shot at Survivor Series 2014.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

AJ is defending and Nikki has her sister Brie as an assistant. We get big match intros and Brie gets up on the apron with with title in her hand. She kisses AJ, allowing Nikki to get in a cheap shot and the Rack Attack gives us a new champ at 38 seconds in the Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan ending from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

I’ve made no secret out of the fact that I really don’t think much of Nikki Bella. She tries to be all serious and intense and it really doesn’t work. At the end of the day, she’s another Diva who is there because she looks good in tight outfits and has a twin. She’s gotten better over the last year or so, but there’s still just not enough there to warrant the push she gets. There are far worse Divas out there, but at the end of the day my reaction continues to be that I don’t get why I’m supposed to care.

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Today we’re looking at someone a bit curvier in Maryse.

After a few years in developmental, Maryse debuted on the main roster in 2008. Here she is at Unforgiven.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Time for a TV match on Smackdown, September 19, 2008.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Michelle is defending here and is still just the perky blonde. The title is brand new here too. Michelle takes her down to the mat with a front facelock but Maryse takes over with a headlock. McCool speeds things up and frustrates Maryse who can’t keep up with the champ. Maryse heads to the floor but she trips Michelle up and takes over.

A slingshot dropkick puts Michelle down and Maryse pounds away, only to get rolled up for two. Maryse cranks on a chinlock but McCool uses her height to get back out. Things speed up and a running flipping neckbreaker gets two for the champ. Maryse misses a charge into the corner and McCool hits Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings to retain.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely amazing how much more interesting a match like this is than the Divas of today. The main difference is that the girls here are athletes who use their athletic abilities in a wrestling ring. Today, we have girls who are mostly models who get some bare bones wrestling training but they look good in shorts. McCool, a chick who had only been wrestling full time for a few years at this point, looked more comfortable than Kelly EVER looked in her entire career. That’s a big reason why the Divas just stopped being interesting at all.

Off to Armageddon 2008 for the main thing the Divas are known for.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Rating: C+. Don’t bother trying to figure out if the rating is good because it isn’t, but there was a weird energy for this one and I had fun with it. Also Michelle in shorts and Maria with her energetic perkiness are never bad things. The girls looks hot and everyone was having fun in a nice breath of air before the main events. What more can you ask for?

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Night of Champions 2009.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

This is a rematch from The Bash which was brought on by some bad acting. Michelle’s bra is sticking WAY out here. Melina gyrates like no one I’ve ever seen. Michelle is the first person to use her freaking brain and kicks Melina on her splits intro. And there’s your first botch as they mess up an arm drag. We get some kicks that don’t actually connect as I have a bad feeling about this match.

We hit the floor and are told that a slam of the face into the barricade is a DDT. Riiiiiiiight. Melina is laying on the apron and in a coole counter she pulls up onto the bottom rope to avoid a baseball slide. They’re hitting hard but at the same time, they’re botching the hell out of so many things. Michelle reverses a rollup into a rollup for the pin. At least it was short.

Rating: D. They were trying but this was just a mess and a half. They were botching stuff left and right with there being little flow or psychology at all. Michelle has gotten better which to be fair she couldn’t have gotten much worse. This was really bad as the two of them just do not have the chemistry.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Gail Kim

Gail Kim is incorrectly called a two time Womens’ Champion. Gail slides to the corner to avoid a charge from the blonde and gets two off a bulldog. Maryse comes back with a kick to the face for two of her own but gets rolled up for another near fall. Kim goes up top but completely misses a top rope cross body to put both girls down. A victory roll doesn’t work for Gail and a quick DDT gives Maryse the title. This was nothing.

She even made it onto Wrestlemania XXVI.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

Beth is in white here and man alive it REALLY works for her. She’s also a face here which is really rare. Vickie and Gail start with Kim getting shoved backwards. Vickie poses and when she turns around, it’s Beth. All the good girls take their turns on Vickie in the corner so she shouts at them. Michelle breaks up a pin by Kelly and we already begin the parade of finishers (Gail totally botches Eat Defeat), culminating with Beth ENDING Fox with the Glam Slam. Michelle saves Vickie from Beth with a big boot before putting Vickie on the top rope. The “Hog Splash” is enough to pin Kelly.

Rating: D. Laycool and Beth looked GREAT out there so it doesn’t fail for them. No one else was in there long enough to make much of an impression, but again it’s amazing how much better the Divas are at this point. They have personalities and actual emotions instead of just staring at cue cards and botching everything they do.

From Over the Limit 2010.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Eve Torres

This is better than I’d expect it to be actually. This has gotten some great build over the past few weeks and due to a lack of matches they have to give it a lot of time. Maryse randomly starts crying for no adequately explained reason. We actually get some near falls. Eve hits some screwed up face plant into a rollup for the pin. Cole, Striker and Lawler make jokes about Eve and just lose it on commentary.

Rating: C-. For what you had to work with here and given what Divas matches tend to be, this was actually decent. I tend to start most Divas matches at a D or so, meaning this was pretty good. There was some actual drama and Eve won with a nice finisher. Solid little match.

From shortly thereafter at Fatal Fourway.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim vs. Eve Torres

Eve is in blue again so I can’t complain at all. Everyone is in this at once which does little to get my hopes up on this. Yeah I don’t care at all about this. Everyone goes for submissions at once but everyone breaks them up to play up the whole fatal aspect of this. The ropes can’t be used for breaks apparently.

I’d bet that’ll be compromised about a million times here. Eve hooks a camel clutch and Gail gets a Boston Crab on Alicia at the same time. Maryse runs her mouth off and Alicia blasts her. Gail hits a dropkick which Striker of course calls a Jumping Bomb Angel Double Stomp. I hate him at times. Eve hits a very fast neckbreaker on Maryse and doesn’t cover, instead hitting a bad moonsault. And Alicia Fox wins the title by stealing the pin on Maryse. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Seriously, are we supposed to care about Alicia Fox? She’s been on TV like once this year and is now the champion. I don’t get the appeal of her at all, but I guess someone does. I still don’t care about the division at all, but it needs to be merged with the other one to help it survive.

Maryse was on NXT Season 3, including October 26, 2010.

Maryse/Ted DiBiase vs. Goldust/Aksana

Aksana does look sexy in red. I’ll give her that. And just as the bell rings the video freezes. Ah there we go. The girls start us off. They yell at each other and Cole says his producer told him that if they’re talking let us hear them. AMEN! Maryse knocks off the horns and rips off the tail so now Aksana is just in a skin tight red suit. I’m sold.

It’s a mixed tag so the men have to fight each other. Of course we’re just talking about the wedding here which I guess makes sense here. We head to the floor with DiBiase being all ticked off. Why doesn’t he just grab the belt and run if that’s why he’s here? Maryse helps her man as Aksana plays cheerleader.

Goldust plays Ricky Morton for like a minute until the girls come in. The guys go to the floor and Aksana gets a small package out of nowhere for the pin. Is that her first win? DiBiase goes for the belt but Aksana slaps him and gets it back. The good people get away with it, proving that faces can get away with anything. Ventura and Heenan were right all along! Match ran about 6:30.

Rating: C. Not terrible and fine for a TV main event on a show like this one. This wasn’t your standard match where the guys did the majority of the work and the girls were in there for like 10 seconds. The girls were fairly decent out there which is surprising to me. Not a classic or anything but it did what it was supposed to do and didn’t seem that long.

Here’s a quick TV match from Smackdown on February 18, 2011.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Layla/Maryse

After the faces enter we take a break and get a clip of the first regular episode of Smackdown (remember that there was a pilot about four months earlier) from August of 99. Michelle has a bad foot so is out for awhile. Beth vs. Maryse to start. Michelle is on commentary and wants to know why Eve is the Divas Champion when Michelle got a pin also.

Off to Layla vs. Eve with the champion dominating. Michelle seems a bit irritated by Layla here as we continue to push the split. Eve fires away with kicks and Michelle gets off commentary. She limps up the steps and gets in the face of Layla. Beth hits her in the foot to bring her down. In the confusion, Layla and Maryse hit what I think was supposed to be a double superkick so that Layla can pin Eve at 2:27. No rating as this was mainly Layla vs. Eve but this was no worse than your usual Divas match.

We’ll wrap it up on Raw, July 25, 2011.

Maryse/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

At least they all look good. Eve and Maryse start and Eve hits a downward spiral and then dances before trying a standing moonsault for two. Maryse gives her a Stinkface and Kelly comes in. Everything breaks down and Melina misses a charge, allowing the K2 to end it at 2:51. Thank goodness I don’t have to rate it. Match was AWFUL but the girls looked good.

So yeah, Maryse is the definition of a blonde bombshell and that’s all she needed to be. She could have passable matches but she was around to make everyone jealous and do that cool thing with her hand. At the end of the day though, Miz goes home to her every night in one of the most appropriate pairings ever. Maryse was around at a time when you only had to look good and be able to have a decent match to be a top Diva and that’s about as far as she got.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 12, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

And so, it ends. Well at least on SpikeTV. Tonight is the last episode of Impact Wrestling on the major network before it takes two months off and returns on a network in about 40 million less homes. To be fair though, it’s better than no network at all…..in theory. Tonight is about setting up Roode vs. Lashley III so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Roode taking the title from Lashley a few weeks ago, followed by Lashley being driven insane by not being champion.

Here’s Roode to get us going. He talks about having a few real friends in wrestling and two of them are Eric Young and Austin Aries. Now Lashley is going around trying to put those two out of wrestling. If Lashley wants a shot at the title, he can certainly have one, but not tonight. Tonight isn’t about the World Title or professional wrestling. Instead it’s about fighting with no referee and no rules. Roode calls Lashley out right now and the fight is on in the aisle. They fight into the stands and Lashley misses a big chair shot. Security breaks them up after only a few seconds though.

Ethan Carter says he’s giving Spud a chance to prove that he’s a man tonight.

The next show on SpikeTV is in two weeks on December 3 for a best of the year show.

Video on Havok’s dominance, which has spanned about five matches. Taryn and Gail are ready to slay the best.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Havok is defend and this is one fall to a finish. The challengers go right at Havok but get dropped with a double clothesline. Havok throws Gail onto Taryn and then sends her shoulder first into the post. A spinebuster plants Taryn but Gail tries AJ Lee’s Black Widow on the champ. Havok is in trouble and Taryn adds an Indian Deathlock for good measure. Somehow Havok powers out of it and they all fight to the floor with Havok catching Terrell, only to have Gail dive on both of them as we take a break.

Back with Havok still on the floor and Taryn rolling Gail up for two. A running flip neckbreaker puts Gail down again but Havok pulls Taryn from the ring and drops her throat first across the barricade. Gail heads outside also but gets spinebustered onto the floor. Back in and Havok splashes both girls for two but Gail is up first and drapes Havok across the top rope.

A kind of Fameasser from the top puts Havok on the floor but Taryn jumps Gail from behind. Terrell takes her to the top but Havok comes back in to make it a Tower of Doom. The champ stacks them up again but misses a middle rope splash. Taryn and Gail break out of a double chokeslam attempt and hammer away until Gail scores with a DDT. A cross body gets two each before Eat Defeat and an RKO get two for Terrell. Gail rolls up Taryn but gets caught in a sunset flip to give Terrell the title at 14:32.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in awhile but it doesn’t mean what TNA wants it to be. First of all, as mentioned, Havok has won something like five matches in TNA over the course of six weeks with one of those being a battle royal. That’s hardly taking the title off Roode after seven months. Also, Terrell pinned Gail, which likely sets up a showdown later. It’s a good match but nowhere near the moment they were hoping for.

MVP rants at Kenny King about being called a manager. King sounds pleased.

Recap of Joe vacating the X-Division Title last week. There’s a fourway for the title later tonight.

Recap of the opening brawl.

Roode isn’t going to let his friends get taken out or be intimidated by Lashley. Now the champion is challenging Lashley to a fight. Didn’t he do that already?

Kenny King vs. Chris Melendez

Melendez shoves him into the corner to start and King mocks the mechanical leg. Chris finally hammers away but walks into an elbow in the corner. A hiptoss sends Kenny to the floor but he jumps up and kicks Chris in the face. Melendez gets snapped down across the top rope but Chris comes back up with a mechanical kick to the chest. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Chris and he kicks King in the face, only to have MVP come in with a chair for the DQ at 5:05.

Rating: D. I probably should but I just do not care about Chris Melendez. It’s amazing how he’s come this far, but after you get over the shock of seeing someone being able to do this, he’s just a green wrestler that can’t do much in the ring yet. The match was nothing special and just there to set up stuff (likely a tag match) for the future.

MVP goes after Chris’ good leg until Mr. Anderson makes the save.

Spud agrees to meet EC3 tonight.

Melendez is sent to the hospital but Anderson wants revenge. Kurt Angle says he’ll deal with it.

Here are EC3 and Tyrus to address Spud. Carter likes the idea of Spud trying to come across the pond and make himself big. Along the way Spud has picked up some friends like Eric Young, who is now in the hospital and Jeremy Borash, who Carter slapped so hard that the entire Borash family died. Well tonight, Spud can fight Carter for one night only. Cue Spud in a suit that looks like a brick wall (seriously) and Carter even has Tyrus go to the floor.

Spud gets right in his face and Ethan offers a free shot but Spud can’t do it. Instead he kicks Carter low and then hits him in the face as the brawl is on. Carter gets the better of it and takes Spud down as the fans tell him that he can’t wrestle. Spud pulls himself up but Carter lets him go from the 1%er. Spud pulls himself up again but Tyrus comes in for the Tongan Death Grip into a clothesline. Now Ethan (busted open a bit) gets a mic and threatens to rip Spud apart until he decides to stop. First up, Ethan cuts off some of Spud’s hair and holds it up like a trophy. Nice segment here.

Angle yells at King but gets jumped and beaten down by MVP. Even King thinks that was too far.

Bram vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore of course. They start in the aisle as Dreamer looks older than ever. Bram slams him down on the ramp and nails Tommy with a trashcan. Dreamer is already busted open so Bram fires off more right hands, only to get sent into the post. Tommy hits Bram with the old WWE spinner US Title for a bizarre moment. We take a break and come back with Bram sending Tommy face first into the steps.

Back in and we hit a chinlock before Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charge. Some kendo stick shots and Russian legsweep gets two for Tommy and he crotched Bram on an opened chair. A clothesline knocks Bram out of the chair for two and Tommy ties him in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer shouts T-N-A and hits a basement dropkick into a trashcan but Bram counters the DDT with a legsweep.

The top rope elbow with the chair is blocked with a raised boot and Dreamer’s DDT gets two more. Now it’s a barbed wire chair but Magnus runs in with a Rock Bottom to plant Dreamer. The Brits load up something else but Al Snow of all people runs in for the save. Dreamer gets up and grabs the cheese grater as Snow punches Magnus up the ramp. Bram’s cut is grated open even worse but he comes back with a low blow and sends Tommy face first into the barbed wire chair in the corner. An inverted DDT pins Dreamer at 14:54.

Rating: F. It got fifteen minutes, Bram needed help to beat Tommy Dreamer, Al freaking Snow ran in (wearing wrestling gear for some reason) and Tommy Dreamer is STILL ON MY TV IN 2014. I would love to know what Dreamer has on the management of this and all those other wrestling companies he works for because it must be gold.

Angle is going to deal with MVP once and for all.

Sheera asked Manik what he needs to do to get Storm to like him. Manik tells him to awaken.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Low Ki vs. Tigre Uno vs. Manik

The title is vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Tigre and Manik fight to the floor, leaving Low Ki to kick DJZ across the ring but Manik comes back in to jump Ki. DJZ dropkicks both of them down as Tigre comes back in to speed things up. A quick dropkick gets two for Uno but Manik suplexes him down and puts on a surfboard. As he has Tigre in the air, DJZ covered Manik, only to have Low Ki hit a Warrior’s Way onto Tigre, crushing everyone else at the same time for a scary looking landing.

Manik charges into Low Ki’s kick to the face but DJZ elbows Ki in the face. Tigre sends Manik to the floor and hits a huge twisting springboard moonsault to take everyone down. Back in and Low Ki gets Tigre in the Tree of Woe but Manik breaks up a top rope double stomp. DJZ hits a tornado DDT on Ki but Manik dives onto DJZ for the save. Manik covers, looks DIRECTLY AT TIGRE, and stays there while Tigre dives on him. Come on man. Tigre and Ki go up top and a Ki Crusher off the top gives Ki the title at 5:58.

Rating: C+. Of all the multiman cruiserweight spot fests that I’ve seen, this one is the most recent. That’s really all there is to it. They did some spots, there was no flow to the match, they did a lot of stupid stuff that got on my nerves and one guy hit a big move for the win. That’s every almost cruiserweight match in this company for months now and this was just another on the list.

MVP calls someone and leaves a voicemail about burning the place down.

Here’s Angle to call out MVP. He talks about watching MVP cheat his way to the top when he was in charge but here’s MVP to cut him off. MVP is sick of being here but mocks Angle for running to the Board of Directors when something goes wrong. Angle isn’t going to fire him and the fight is on. Kenny King comes out to help but MVP shoves him away and keeps stomping before hitting the Blackout Kick (Drive-By) to send Angle outside. Anderson comes out to get King but Lashley takes him down. This brings out Roode to take out King and brawl with Lashley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show had some decent wrestling but it felt like any other show for TNA. At the end of the day though, you can see one of the things that has held them back for years right there front and center: an old, past his prime guy living on nostalgia got the longest match of the night, including longer than two matches with new champions crowned.

Maybe the time off will do TNA good, but they need to stop doing stupid stuff like having Tommy Dreamer around to score nostalgia points from a tiny number of people they might bring in. They have a big roster but can’t fit them in because of stuff like that. That’s a badly run business and it’s killed them for years. I’m hoping it gets better on the new network, but 12 years have taught me not to get my hopes up for TNA.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim and Havok – Sunset flip to Kim

Chris Melendez b. Kenny King via DQ when MVP interfered

Bram b. Tommy Dreamer – Inverted DDT

Low Ki b. Tigre Uno, DJZ and Manik – Top rope Ki Crusher to Tigre Uno

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Knockouts Knockdown II
Date: November 7, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Somehow this might be one of the last PPVs TNA ever puts on as they only have two more of these taped and have no regular PPV (or TV) dates announced at the moment. The title of this show should tell you everything you need to know. Just like last time, it’s a bunch of qualifying matches and then a gauntlet match for a crown. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package from the biggest names in the competition talking about how they’re the best. A regular music video shows us some highlights from the last few years of Knockouts matches.

Christy Hemme and JB are in the ring to show off the winner’s crown, only to be interrupted by Rockstar Spud. He has a guest host for the night, meaning JB and Christy aren’t needed this evening. The guest hosts is, of course, Ethan Carter III because this was taped way before Spud turned face. Spud is his lovely assistant and is allowed to bring out all of the girls, who don’t get individual entrances. Thankfully they have them line up in the ring for introductions.

We start with Deonna, who is from New Jersey (Spud: “I don’t know what that is.”) and shy. Carter: “Do you want Spud to tickle you?” Next up is Karlee Perez, more famous as Maxine from NXT. Ethan hits on her and Perez says the only position she wants is on top. Havok is third and the fans know her name before she says anything.

Spud knows her name too but he doesn’t think he could take her home to his mother. Next is Mia Yim, a regular on the indy circuit who the fans also seem to know. Ethan: “Mia what’s your sign?” Mia: “The stop sign.” We also have the redhead Veda Scott, who I believe is a regular in ROH. She’s a cat person so Ethan tries to start a cats chant. Matt Hardy’s wife Reby Sky thinks Spud is the only queen in TNA. Spud: “Sir I told you I don’t like girls.” Ethan: “…..moving on!”

Scarlett (Bordeaux) has a drink in her hand and rubs Spud’s face for some reason. Everybody gets a shot if she wins (Ethan: “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!”) but Spud shoots the idea down. We wrap it up with Marti Belle, a chick with big hair who hits on Spud. The Rockstar can barely talk so Spud suggests asking her out. We get a closeup of Spud’s face as he looks into the camera and pops his eyebrows in a hilarious shot.

Spud still doesn’t know what to say but Ethan tells him to get to this so they can get married and have little Spud babies. He finally hits on her but can barely get the words out. Spud finally asks her to be his girlfriend and Marti actually says yes. Ethan suggests we get on with the show and we actually run down the card. By that I mean bring out every main roster Knockout to eat up even more time. Here’s the card, complete with an entrance for every Knockout.

Deonna vs. Brooke

Karlee Perez vs. Taryn Terrell

Havok vs. Madison Rayne

Mia Yim vs. Brittany

Veda Scott vs. Gail Kim

Reby Sky vs. Velvet Sky

Scarlett vs. Angelina Love

Marti Belle vs. ODB

Since we haven’t wasted enough time, here’s the end of last year’s gauntlet match to kill more time. Gail Kim eliminated Mickie James to win in case that memorable moment escapes you.

Wait we’re still not ready to go. Let’s get a package on Kim in there first. I’m assuming all of the regular Knockouts will get one of these so I won’t mention them unless they don’t happen or unless something important happens.

Veda Scott vs. Gail Kim

Taz: “It’s time!” Tenay: “It’s time?” Taz: “IT’S VEDA TIME!” I have a feeling the comedy isn’t topping that all night. Wait, let’s wait for Gail to high five all the fans and kiss her husband. We finally get the opening bell nearly half an hour into the show. Scott is kind of like Bayley from NXT as the biggest fan ever, only to sucker Gail in for a shot to the face. Gail throws her into the corner and gets two off a spinning cross body.

We get a breather as Veda is out on the floor, only to have her snap the back of Gail’s neck across the top rope for two. A middle rope clothesline gets two on Gail as the announcers discuss Veda’s sex appeal. Veda cranks on an armbar for a few seconds before Hebner breaks it up for a hair pull. Now the announcers babble about baseball as Veda pulls on Gail’s hair from a camel clutch position.

Back to a kind of reverse cross armbreaker from Veda until Gail rolls out and grabs a half crab. Scott rolls out and slaps Gail a few times but jumps into a kick to the ribs. Gail bounces back up and nails a quick missile dropkick for two before Eat Defeat sends Gail to the gauntlet at 7:35.

Rating: D+. I have a bad feeling this is what we’re going to see a lot of tonight: the rookies putting up a valiant fight and coming up short more often than not. Veda has a good look and can pull off the sexy intellectual well enough but she seems far more like a character than a wrestler. The match wasn’t bad but it felt like it was just waiting to end.

Scarlett puts her drink down to say she’s more than just a party girl, and if you cross her she’ll rip your throat off and do a body shot off you when she’s done.

The Beautiful People think the newcomers are all ugly. Velvet can’t handle thinking about it and they laugh off their opponents for tonight.

Scarlett vs. Angelina Love

Before the match, the Beautiful People think Scarlett is happy to be here because she’s dressed like one of them. Angelina thinks she could be a good third member and show her how to shake it, only to have Love jump her to get things going. Love keeps the mic and talks trash while stomping on Scarlett but thankfully stops soon. A side slam gets two on Scarlett and we hit the chinlock. Love slowly walks around before throwing Scarlett outside for a stomping from Sky. Back in and Scarlett fight back before “hitting” a Codebreaker. She goes after Velvet though and eats the Botox Injection for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: D. Well at least they had a squash here instead of just doing the same thing they did in the first match. Scarlett again comes off like more of a character than a worker, though in her case she’s only 23 and still needs experience. Nothing special here though and you knew at least one of the Beautiful People was going though.

Reby Sky, who looks a good bit like Trish Stratus, says she’s here to beat the girl to become the girl. Ethan Carter comes up to hit on her again and gets blown off.

Reby Sky vs. Velvet Sky

The bell rings but we have to stop for Velvet to check her hair. She quickly takes Reby down and rubs her face into the mat until Reby comes back with some forearms. She avoid a charging Velvet and there’s the required spank. A baseball slide sends Velvet into Angelina but Love trips Reby up to take over.

Velvet screams in her face a lot and stomps away in the corner for two. Velvet misses a charge in the corner but shoves Reby down into the splits. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down. Reby gets up first and nails a few kicks to the face but Love gets on the apron to distract the referee. Hairspray goes into Velvet’s eyes by mistake though, allowing Reby to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. Better here as Reby is a more experienced girl and they had a different story. It helps that Reby didn’t have a goofy character to drag her down either. Not much to see here and they managed to protect Velvet at the same time by having some shenanigans cause the loss.

Havok is here to dominate. She’s actually talking here and has a full head of hair.

Jessica Havok vs. Madison Rayne

Madison mocks Havok (without the eye paint) to start and is launched across the ring like a feather. Some forearms get Madison nowhere as Havok drops her with a shot to the ribs. Havok rolls outside but easily catches Madison’s dive. Madison is sent into the steps and gets beaten up even more back inside. A bearhug has Madison in even more trouble but Havok makes it even worse by lifting her into the air for a full nelson.

Havok sends her down in the corner again but misses a charge. Madison comes back with some kicks to the ribs and the side of the head to knock her outside. Now the dive off the top takes Havok down but Madison runs into a boot back inside. Madison goes to the middle rope and hits a quick spear for the win at 8:33.

Rating: C. I liked this better than the rest of them as Madison actually had to fight to win instead of getting a surprise win or something out of nowhere. Havok looked like a monster here and it’s easy to see why she got a job out of this performance. She’s actually different than most of the other Knockouts ever and that’s the best thing the division could have.

Taryn Terrell says the Last Knockout Standing and ladder matches were nothing compared to what she’ll do tonight.

Taryn’s video is much more a Terrell vs. Kim video than just about her.

Taryn Terrell vs. Karlee Perez

Before the match Karlee says everything about Taryn is fake and gets slapped in the face to start things off. Karlee drives knees into her back and puts on a chinlock. Off to a full nelson for a bit before Taryn comes back with a sunset flip for two. Karlee kicks her in the head for the same but Taryn grabs the hair for some flips to take over. Perez grabs a crucifix, only to be driven into the corner, setting up an RKO to give Terrell the pin at 4:32.

Rating: D+. Things fell back down here as Terrell just isn’t capable of carrying a match on her own yet. Perez has the attitude to be something special but her in ring work needs more time. Granted most of the time she’s been a character rather than a wrestler, so maybe they should go back to that if Perez is to get a job long term.

Video on the Knockouts swimsuit calendar.

Mia Yim was here last year but promises to make a better impact this year.

Mia Yim vs. Brittany

Brittany grabs a wristlock to start and actually nails a headbutt. Yim grabs the ropes ala Manik and ducks a charge, sending Brittany out to the floor. That earns her a trip from Brittany to send Mia face first into the apron. A suicide dive takes Yim out again for two but she comes back with an ankle lock to take over. Brittany comes back with a Last Chancery which they don’t call a Last Chancery because it’s move infringement and Aries might shove his crotch into someone’s face.

Taz makes more sex jokes as Yim fakes Brittany out and dropkicks her down for two. Some weak looking strikes have Brittany in trouble but she comes back with a Fujiwara armbar to make Mia slap the mat a lot. That’s not tapping out for reasons that are unclear but my guess is that it’s not the finish. A handspring elbow nails Mia in the corner but she counters a Stratusphere attempt with a bunch of forearms and a missile dropkick gets two. Yim gets slammed off the top but avoids a handspring moonsault. A quick rolling cradle is enough to pin Brittany at 6:51.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I thought I would with Yim looking far more polished than a lot of these newcomers. She should probably get a mainstream job in the future but due to being solid in the ring and not a blonde model, she might not be exactly what WWE is looking for. Nice match though and probably Brittany’s best performance ever.

Deonna vs. Brooke

No idea who Deonna is but she looks nervous. We keep up the talking theme tonight with Brooke insulting the crowd and mocking Deonna’s gear, which is basically just shiny workout gear. Deonna admits that Brooke is better in every aspect than her, but at least she isn’t a wench. A quick rollup attempt gets two for Deonna and Brooke bails to the floor, saying she wasn’t ready. Back in and Brooke takes over as the announcers debate the meaning of “wench”.

A slam sends Brooke back to the floor but Deonna goes after her this time, only to get kicked in the face for her efforts. Brooke grabs the mic again and calls herself mama before talking trash. Now the announcers make jokes about throwing each other out, marking the first good idea they’ve had all night. Brooke stomps away in the corner and the Stinkface hits shoulder. Deonna avoids a middle rope elbow and both girls are down. Some low speed Irish whips send Brooke into the corner and a suplex gets two. Brooke’s cheating rollup is caught but the Tesshocker ends Deonna a few seconds later at 7:31.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Brooke looked great but the whole shy rookie thing was done better by Scott earlier in the night. They’re running out of ideas for matches here and it’s getting annoying to sit through. Granted that happens at all of these shows though so it’s nothing new. I don’t want to imagine what it would be like without the filler though.

Gail Kim did a photo shoot for Muscle and Fitness. More filler.

ODB doesn’t know much about Marti Belle but says bring her on. Spud comes in and says he’ll be in Belle’s corner tonight.

Marti Belle vs. ODB

Spud finally brings himself to give Marti a kiss on the cheek. A quick chest bump puts Marti down in the corner and ODB sends her into the buckle. ODB spends too much time yelling at Spud though and gets dropkicked out to the floor. Taz starts singing Like A Virgin as ODB gets knocked back off the apron.

Back in and ODB misses a top rope dive and gets choked on the ropes. An abdominal stretch doesn’t get Marti anywhere as the announcers are talking about Man O War (a famous racehorse in case you’re unfamiliar) for no apparent reason. ODB comes back with a Bronco Buster and the fall away slam connects, only to have Spud hook her leg to give Marti a small package for the pin at 6:14.

Rating: D. Thank goodness ODB is gone from TNA. She’s been doing the same act for years now and it stopped being funny about 18 seconds after she debuted. Marti was nothing special and I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing any more of her in the near future. This show needs to end soon because it’s starting to run out of the little steam it had in the first place.

Belle breaks up with Spud post match in the most interesting thing she’s done all night. Spud: “WE WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER! WE WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP ON FACEBOOK!” ODB cracks up and Spud says he hates women. Spud makes another match right now.

ODB vs. Rockstar Spud

Spud gets shoved down to start but he sends her face first into the buckle to take over. For some reason Spud starts ripping off his clothes, earning him some hard chops to the chest. Another Broco Buster connects and Spud loses his pants, revealing some small, stained underwear. The Bam finally ends Spud at 3:22.

Rating: F. This wasn’t funny as even Spud has his limits. On to anything else please.

We recap the evening to eat up even more time.

Gauntlet Match

Royal Rumble style with two minute intervals. Gail Kim is #1 and Brooke is in at #2. Kim hammers away to start but gets sent hard into the corner to put her on the mat. Gail comes back with more forearms until Mia Yim is in at #3. Mia takes out Brooke but walks into a double clothesline from Gail, allowing the announcers to rhyme Yim and Kim far more often than necessary.

Reby Sky is in at #4 for some clotheslines of her own until Gail tries to dump her over the corner. Angelina Love is in at #5 as this is one of the most boring battle royals I’ve ever seen so far. Gail sends Reby shoulder first into the post and goes right after Angelina as she comes in. Everyone goes after Angelina as the announcers keep rhyming for no apparent reason. Love gets knocked to the apron but hangs on. Instead she dumps Reby to clean the ring out a bit as Madison Rayne is in at #6.

Gail and Mia fight in the corner until Marti Belle is in at #7. All six girls in the ring get knocked down as this match is just dying. Taryn Terrell is in at #8 as there is just nothing going on between these entrances. Taryn throws out Belle and Gail dumps Brooke. Love tosses Terrell as the ring is suddenly a lot more empty. Angelina knocks Gail out and Rayne gets double teamed. The Botox Injection hits Marti by mistake, allowing Madison to dump her as well.

So it’s Love vs. Rayne in a one on one match now with pins and submissions. Love runs to the back because this show WON’T FREAKING END. Madison chases after her and winds up kicking both Beautiful People through the entrance. Back in and Sky trips Rayne down as the announcers start ripping on the referee. Love puts on a full nelson with her legs but gets caught in a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Off to a chinlock from Love before Madison fights out to ram Angelina face first into the mat a few times. Sky grabs the hairspray but blasts her partner by mistake, allowing Rayne to spear Love for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was one of the most boring battle royals I’ve ever seen. The girls came in, they were quickly eliminated, and we had Angelina and Madison have a boring match with the same ending we saw earlier in the night. Madison winning is fine but this continues to mean nothing and bored me half to death.

Madison is awarded the crown with Gail Kim coming out to award it to her to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the weakest entries in this series so far. It’s a one note idea that stopped being interesting after about four matches, especially when the newcomers wound up meaning nothing at all. The Spud stuff was funny for awhile and then didn’t even tie into the ending of the show. The show wasn’t so much bad as much as it was incredibly dull, which is often far worse.

Above the bad wrestling though was all the filler. With nearly half an hour to get to the show and then all the generic videos about the girls, this show pretty easily could have been cut down by 45 minutes to an hour. Why not have the videos about the newcomers? Or would that been putting actual effort into one of these? Bad show here but it was nice to see some fresh Knockouts.

Results

Gail Kim b. Veda Scott – Eat Defeat

Angelina Love b. Scarlett – Botox Injection

Reby Sky b. Velvet Sky – Rollup

Madison Rayne b. Jessica Havok – Middle rope spear

Taryn Terrell b. Karlee Perez – RKO

Mia Yim b. Brittany – Rolling cradle

Brooke b. Deonna – Tesshocker

Marti Belle b. ODB – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ODB b. Rockstar Spud – Bam

Madison Rayne won a gauntlet match last eliminating Angelina Love