Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

Maven doesn’t like the suggestion that he doesn’t belong in the main event…and gets jumped by Snitsky. The beatdown is on and Maven is left bloody.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: May 22, 2007
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

Things are staying interesting around here as we have the continuing issues between Bobby Lashley and ECW World Champion Vince McMahon. Their next showdown is set for One Night Stand, but we have a little time to cover before we get there. In addition, CM Punk is rising up through the ranks and seems ready to break through to the other side. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Snitsky vs. Tommy Dreamer

Snitsky powers him around to start and hits an elbow to the jaw in the corner. A hard toss sends Dreamer outside and he seems to have banged up his shoulder. Back in and the shoulder is sent into the post (THUD) and we hit a front facelock of all things. Snitsky misses a legdrop though and Dreamer grabs a DDT for two of his own. Dreamer goes up top but dives into a clothesline. The big boot finishes Dreamer in a hurry.

Rating: C-. This is all it needed to be as there was no reason to believe Snitsky was going to be in trouble against Dreamer. Snitsky is the local monster and having him beat down Dreamer is a good way to keep him moving up. At the same time though, there is only so much that you’re going to get out of a match like this. The result was fine, but it was a little dull to get there.

Post match Snitsky grabs a chair but Rob Van Dam makes the save with a Van Daminator.

We recap Bobby Lashley beating Vince McMahon and company at Judgment Day but not winning the title due to not pinning Vince.

Here is Extreme Expose to introduce the new music video for Timbaland’s Throw It On Me.

Kevin Thorn vs. Wyatt Laura

Ariel is gone with no explanation (commentary isn’t likely to mention someone being released) but Thorn unloads on Laura anyway. A running kick to the head sets up the Original Sin for the fast pin.

Elijah Burke is excited to team with Marcus Cor Von tonight because Cor Von can get it done. That’s different from Matt Striker, who better beat one of the Major Brothers tonight, or things will go bad. Cor Von also suggests Striker win.

Matt Striker vs. Brett Major

Brian (Curt Hawkins) Major is at ringside. Brett works on the arm to start but Striker quickly takes him down into a cravate. A sunset flip gives Brett two so Striker blasts him with a clothesline and the cravate goes on again. Brett comes back with a small package and Thesz press for two each, only to have Striker hit the Golden Rule. A rolling neckbreaker finishes Brett off.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t quite a squash but it also wasn’t the most interesting match. Striker is a good talker and has a punchable face, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him have matches. The Major Brothers have been a nice addition to the show and certainly seem a bit better than your usual run of jobbers.

We look at Bobby Lashley successfully running the gauntlet to earn an ECW World Title shot at One Night Stand.

Rob Van Dam/CM Punk vs. Marcus Cor Von/Elijah Burke

Punk has banged up ribs coming in, and the fans are very behind Van Dam. Cor Von shoulders Van Dam down with straight power to start and then does it again for a bonus. Back up and Van Dam hits a running clothesline so it’s off to Burke to hammer away. A rollup gets Van Dam out of trouble and it’s off to Punk for the springboard clothesline. We take a break and come back with Cor Von working on Van Dam’s knee.

Burke pulls on a leglock and drives a knee into Van Dam’s knee for two. Cor Von actually takes him down with a drop toehold and Burke rubs Van Dam face first into the mat. A kneebar keeps Van Dam in trouble until Cor Von hands it back to Burke, who gets enziguried. The hot tag brings in Punk, who cleans house on Burke. Cor Von comes in sans tag though and it’s the Pounce to Punk, which is enough for a DQ.

Rating: C. Kind of a dull tag match with a long stretch of the New Breed working on Van Dam’s knee. The ending was a good way to make Cor Von look like a monster but that wasn’t the most thrilling way to wrap things up. This felt like a way to stretch things out without actually doing anything, which is fine enough for a one off, but they’ll need to find a way to finish off New Breed sooner than later.

Post match Cor Von Pounces Van Dam as well, allowing the New Breed to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly the most thrilling show as you can tell nothing really matters until we get done with Lashley vs. Vince at One Night Stand. It was far from the worst show, but it was certainly dull, which is often worse. Just get us to the stuff that matters and then we can see where this show can really go in the future.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 22, 2005
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the night after Summerslam and the big stories around here are Hulk Hogan defeating Shawn Michaels and John Cena retaining the WWE Championship over Chris Jericho. With that out of the way, it’s time to get ready for Unforgiven, which could need something fresh instead of a bunch of Summerslam rematches. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last night’s Raw matches. Hogan and Shawn shaking hands so soon was still a little much.

Here’s Shawn to get things going. Shawn doesn’t like admitting it, but Hogan was the better man last night. Hogan was catlike last night and there was too much athletic prowess for Shawn to figure out. With that out of the way, it is time to get back to reality, which is Hogan has flown back to Florida until the fans pay to get him back. Shawn is here tonight though and he’ll be giving the fans what they want.

That would be the Showstopper, but here’s Chris Masters to interrupt, leaving Shawn confused. Masters talks about admiring Shawn since he was a little, little kid because Shawn is old. I’ll give Shawn this: he knows how to play the “who me?” look really well. People like Shawn and Hogan don’t know how to pass the torch but being grouped too far is hitting below the belt BROTHER. Shawn is ready to give him a few lessons because Masters isn’t ready to steal the spotlight. See, kids today don’t know enough to know that they don’t know.

There’s a ladder around here with people like Shawn at the top and people like Masters down at the bottom. It can get a little hard to breathe up here, but Masters makes fun of Shawn’s hair being thinner than the air. Shawn: “It hurts because it’s true!” Shawn slaps him in the face and the fight is on with Shawn forearming him out to the floor. That’s quite the demotion for Shawn but if they want to see what they have with Masters, Shawn is as good of a choice as they can have.

Chris Jericho is upset about last night but is ready to face John Cena tonight. Eric Bischoff makes it even bigger: it’s a YOU’RE FIRED match with the title on the line.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Kurt Angle

Nice mini reunion here. Shelton suplexes him down to start but a waistlock is countered into a wristlock. They go to the ropes so Angle kicks him in the ribs and puts on a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up as well with Shelton getting to his feet and springboard into a roll to escape. Shelton’s armbar is broken up with an armdrag as neither can get that much of an advantage going.

A low bridge puts Angle on the floor and we take a break with the fans waking up in a hurry. Back with Angle putting on something like an STF before switching to a regular chinlock. The comeback is cut off with some stomping and choking, followed by a bodyscissors to mix things up a bit. Back up and Shelton sends him hard into the post, setting up a spinebuster to put them both down.

A Samoan drop gives Shelton two more and the Dragon Whip rocks Angle again. Shelton goes up top but Angle runs the ropes for the super belly to belly. The Angle Slam is countered into a heck of a DDT (JR: “The fat lady’s not singing! She’s eating a doughnut!”) for two more and things slow down a bit. Shelton goes for the exploder but Angle reverses into the ankle lock with a grapevine for the tap.

Rating: B-. Shelton loses, again, and I’m not even surprised anymore. I’m not sure why WWE has decided to let him free fall like this but it’s quite the waste of someone they built up for a long time. Angle seems ready to go up in the world though, which could mean a shot at John Cena.

Post match Angle insists on being awarded the medal again.

Kerwin White is backstage in his golf cart and brags about being the spokesman of middle class America. He just saw Shelton Benjamin lose to polite applause and that’s because racism exists in America. Shelton may be a great athlete but he’s never going to be one of us. White: “Shelton Benjamin is not WHITE! If it’s not white, it’s not right.” Of note: his theme song, talking about how he never thought his life could be this good plays in the background. That’s about the only good thing about this whole thing.

Maria adjusts her shoe but Snitsky comes in to play with her toes. He thinks they look tasty, but here’s Big Show to say that’s a little weird. With Snitsky gone, Maria asks Show what a pervert is. This may be the dumbest back to back pair of angles I have seen in years.

Rob Conway vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is really banged up after last night…and here are Edge and Lita just after the bell. Conway gets in a cheap shot as Edge and Lita climb onto the announcers’ table to watch the match. Conway hammers away and works on a rather harsh headlock as Lawler admires Lita’s back. Matt fights back and hits a running corner clothesline, followed by the forearms to the jaw. A shot to Matt’s head knocks him down again and Edge….yeah he still doesn’t feel sorry over anything. Some right hands knock Matt off the top and Conway drops a top rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah Matt is already done, even if he winds up winning a rematch against Edge. The problem is that the heat he had coming in is all gone and the losses are only going to make it worse. It started great and then went straight off a cliff as the losses pile up. Just like Shelton, as this company enjoys making popular wrestlers lose.

Post match Edge comes down for the brawl and kicks Matt’s head into the steps to leave him laying again.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana and Carlito gets straight to the guest: Ric Flair. Carlito welcomes him to the Cabana but Flair welcomes him to Flair Country. A WOO off seems ready to break out but Carlito says wooing is NOT cool. Carlito remembers his father battling Flair over the years and his father said Flair was great. Now Carlito can see it for himself but being a sixteen time World Champion means Flair has lost it sixteen times.

On the other hand, Carlito is a one time Intercontinental Champion, which is a title Flair has never won. That’s because Flair isn’t cool. Flair says he’s not cool, because he’s the NATURE BOY. Carlito’s father called him the King of the Caribbean and the women know he can go all night long. Carlito spits the apple at him (Flair’s look at Carlito, saying “kid, you’ve got a lot to learn”, is great.) and the fight is on with the fans going coconuts over Flair all over again.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

Snitsky tries to beg off but throws some right hands, only to get chopped hard. Show does it a few more times and they head outside where Show posts himself by mistake. Back in and Snitsky knocks him down but gets suplexed for his efforts. A clothesline puts Snitsky on the floor and he walks out.

Rating: D-. What a waste of time this is. Not only is Snitsky’s new gimmick that he likes feet but now he gets in a match and walks out on it after about three and a half minutes. It’s never a good sign when the best thing you can say about a match is short but….well do you have anything else here?

Bischoff runs into Cena and threatens him with being fired tonight. Cena has headphones in though and doesn’t notice.

Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade like beer and wrestling. Yeah it’s lame but I do like “hi, we’re *insert names here* and we’re coming to WWE” style promos.

Here are Torrie Wilson and Candace Michelle, who have been traded to Raw. Candace demonstrates the Go Daddy dance and they bring out Ashley Massaro for her first full night as a Raw Diva. They don’t like her getting here so easily and the beatdown is on. It takes a special level of bad to make good looking women a waste of time.

Video on Summerslam.

We look back at the Shawn/Masters segment. Next week: Shawn takes the Masterlock Challenge.

Jericho is ready to get rid of Cena.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending, the loser gets fired and Bischoff is at ringside. They go nose to nose to start with Cena driving him into the corner, only to have Bischoff grab the ankle. Jericho gets in a few cheap shots and suplexes Cena down to set up a basement dropkick. The stomping in the corner (and obvious spot calling) are on, allowing Cena to send him into the post.

That means a trip to the floor but Cena goes after Bischoff, earning himself a low blow. Back from a break with Cena suplexing his way out of a chinlock but Jericho hammers him in the corner. Cena gets in a few right hands though and throws him off the top, only to miss a high crossbody. Jericho has to escape the FU and grabs the Walls, but the drama isn’t quite as strong as last night.

The rope is….not grabbed actually as Bischoff pulls it away so Jericho can pull Cena back to the middle. This time Cena makes the other rope (How hard can it be to know which rope to pull?) and manages the FU for the double knockdown. With the referee checking on Cena, Bischoff hands Jericho some brass knuckles (JR: “HOW CAN THAT BE CONDONED????”). Jericho’s right hand gets two and that kickout gets the big crowd reaction. Cena catapults Jericho into Bischoff and muscles Jericho up for the FU and the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Good match here without a ton of the drama as it wasn’t exactly shocking to see Jericho lose and go away. The Cena feud was a boost but it hasn’t been the best time for him as of late so maybe some time away is the best thing. Cena gets his first big feud win on Raw and now it’s time to go on to someone else. I wonder who that could be.

Post match Bischoff yells at Jericho and fires him. Jericho goes after Bischoff but security drags him away. Bischoff isn’t done with Cena though as here’s Kurt Angle to wear Cena out. Oh and he’s the new #1 contender.

Overall Rating: D+. Some good things keep this one from being a disaster but egads some of the character stuff is horrible. Between the nonsense of Snitsky’s foot fetish, Kerwin White and racism and the new Diva welcoming committee, there were a lot of parts of this show that made it into one of the hardest to watch in a long time. Cena, Angle and Shawn are very good on the top, but there’s a limit to what they can make work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 17, 2005
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The focus is on Canada this week with Chris Benoit facing Chris Jericho in a challenge match. Other than that, the big story is likely to be the continuing issues between HHH and Batista, the latter of whom is starting to rebel against his boss. This seems to be leading to the Royal Rumble, where Randy Orton is getting a World Title shot after beating Batista last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Orton beating Batista, though not before planing some seeds in Batista’s mind about HHH using him.

Opening sequence.

We open with the Highlight Reel and you know the fans are going to love Jericho here. Before we get to the guest though, Jericho brings up that he won a match last night and is officially in the Royal Rumble. See how much easier that is than having us sit through a match that had an obvious ending? Jericho has something else to say but here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari to interrupt.

Jericho rants about how they came out before their introduction so Hassan rants about being forgotten. We get a proper introduction (with Jericho being called a creepy little sidekick) before Jericho mocks Hassan for being so serious all the time. Shouldn’t he be happier that we’re in Canada tonight? Hassan says Jericho is right as he’s felt a connection to Canada. See, in the US, Canadians are viewed as second class citizens.

They deserve it though because the REAL terrorists gained access to America through Canada. That’s why everyone here booing him is a hypocrite. See, Canadians are afraid to show their true feelings because they can’t back it up in a confrontation. Jericho tells him to shut the h*** up so Daivari rants at him for a bit.

Jericho has been studying though and offers a translation: Fozzy’s All That Remains comes out tomorrow and Daivari wants an autographed CD! Well he didn’t say please so that’s not happening. Hassan keeps ranting and the fight is on with Jericho putting on the Walls. Daivari breaks it up though and it’s a double beatdown until Chris Benoit comes inf or the save.

HHH and Ric Flair arrive with Ric insisting that everything is cool with Batista. They didn’t actually talk, but Flair has a feeling about it. HHH isn’t impressed.

La Resistance/Maven vs. Shelton Benjamin/Rosey/Hurricane

La Resistance are Tag Team Champions again, having won the titles in a handicap last night over William Regal. Fair enough as they didn’t have many other options with Eugene being out for months. Benjamin and Conway slug it out to start and Maven’s interference is scared off by a single glare.

Hurricane comes in for WHATUPWITHDAT and a thumb to the eye. A cheap shot from Maven lets Grenier throw Hurricane to the floor, followed by the chinlock back inside. That’s broken up with an atomic drop and it’s off to Rosey as the fans don’t seem interested. Rosey sits on Conway’s chest for two with Shelton making the save. Everything breaks down and Au Revoir finishes Rosey.

Rating: D. Just a match here with La Resistance getting their footing back after a quick title win. It’s not like they have anyone to feud with at the moment so this was about as good as they were going to get. Maven is much, much better suited in this role and while he isn’t going to win anything, it’s better than watching him take up a spot he’s not ready to be in.

Stacy Keibler wishes Randy Orton luck tonight and kisses him on the cheek. Orton doesn’t seem to mind.

Steve Austin is having a press conference on Wednesday.

Here’s Orton for a chat. This is a special place for Orton as he won the World Title right here back at Summerslam. Orton cried that night because no one thought he could pull this off. Then the next night, HHH ruined everything by throwing him out of Evolution. Now Orton wants it all back and he’s coming for it all at the Royal Rumble.

This brings out HHH, who says he’s heard this from Orton before. HHH is going to make him suffer because HHH is the greatest wrestler alive today. We hear all the names that HHH has beaten before but Orton says he’s heard this before. He had to hear every day when he was in Evolution, from the car to the gym to the hotel.

HHH says he’s sick of saying it but he has to do it because some young punk kid like him keeps coming out here and trying to take his spot. The fight is teased but HHH says it’s his time. Dang I miss that song. Orton charges up the ramp and the fight is on, with Flair coming out to help. That doesn’t go well as Orton beats up both of them, albeit with the help of a chair. This still isn’t interesting, but points for calling out HHH for his interviews being repetitive.

Post break HHH is livid and bubbly Maria comes up to ask him a question. He shouts her down and storms into his locker room where Batista is waiting. You can see HHH’s mood change because he knows Batista is a big problem if handled wrong. Batista is ok with what happened last week and HHH calms down a bit. Right now though, Batista needs to talk to Eric Bischoff about something.

HHH offers to go get whatever Batista wants, but Batista is talking about getting in the Royal Rumble and getting a shot at the title. HHH: “….my….my World Title?” I watched this story as it airs but watching it back, it deserves WAY more credit than it receives. They’re hitting every point to near perfection and I’m digging it.

Shawn Michaels talks about how he’s tried to apologize to Canada but for now, he’s focused on the Royal Rumble. See, if he wins tonight and wins the World Title, Edge can’t be champion. Bischoff comes up and goes over Shawn’s Royal Rumble history, including winning in 1996 to take the title from Bret Hart. Based on that history, Shawn is in, but he gets to fight Christian tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Christian

Christian, with Tyson Tomko, gets the big hometown hero pop. Before Shawn comes out, we look at his rather good brawl with Edge last week. Edge comes out and we take a break before the bell. We’re joined in progress with both guys getting up for the slugout. A backdrop sends Christian to the floor as the fans just do not let up on Shawn. Edge offers a distraction so Tomko can get in a cheap shot and the Canadians rejoice.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by a backbreaker to keep it on. Shawn fights up and gets in a Thesz press as the fans continue their anti-Shawn tradition. Edge tries to come in with a spear but misses, allowing Shawn to drop the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Unprettier attempt which is countered into Sweet chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a match here as Christian isn’t big enough to give Shawn a real threat. What matters here is letting Edge get out there to mess with Shawn a bit because Edge does feel like he could give Shawn trouble. This was perfectly watchable though and that’s better than a lot of what we get on Raw.

Post match Edge hits the spear and puts on the Edgecator, making him look like a bigger star than he has been in years.

Batista vs. Viscera

Big pop for Batista. Viscera powers him around to start but Batista gets in some shoulders in the corner. A middle rope forearm to the back has Viscera in trouble but he’s right back with a Samoan drop. The big elbow gets two as Flair and HHH are watching in the back. Batista is right back with a spinebuster for the pin. This was a total face performance from Batista and there’s no other way to present him at this point. It’s a perfect rise to the top of the card and it’s been a lot of fun to watch.

Batista comes back in to see HHH and Flair. Next week, he can have a Royal Rumble qualifying match, if he wants it. HHH says “Uhhh…..” as Flair shakes his head no. See, Evolution should have one focus at the Royal Rumble and it should be Randy Orton. It would be a little selfish for Batista to enter the match because it could lead to Batista wanting a title shot. That would make it all about Batista and not Evolution because he would sound like Orton. Batista agrees because no one likes a selfish, self-centered egomaniac. The stare at HHH as he said that wasn’t exactly hidden.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

The fans aren’t sure what to do here as they start with some grappling on the mat. The standoff gets some polite applause and Benoit takes him down into an armbar. Jericho reverses into one of his own but Benoit starts rolling some German suplexes. A cross armbreaker is broken up and another standoff takes us to a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock and catching Benoit on top with a butterfly superplex. Some near falls ensue before Benoit suplexes him to the floor, only to fall outside with him. Back in and a very hard clothesline gives Benoit two as the fans are getting quiet again. The rolling German suplexes have Jericho rocked but the Swan Dive misses. Jericho can’t follow up so Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter but gets small packaged for the pin.

Rating: C+. The crowd hurt things a good bit here as they didn’t want to boo either of them but cheering would mean a knock on the other guy so they sat there quietly for the most part. The wrestling was good stuff of course, but they never cranked it up as these two know how to do. With no issue though, why would they do that?

We recap Gene Snitsky vs. Kane, which is happening again tonight because reasons.

Chris Masters is coming.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Here’s Trish Stratus to another hometown pop for a chat. Trish runs down America for mocking her so often but that’s beside the point. She’s not here to say she told us so, but she told us she would take the title back from Lita, which she did. Trish destroyed Lita’s knee and she’s going to be out for a long, long time. But don’t worry, because there is a locker room full of men who would be more than happy to impregnate Lita. Cue Kane to chase Trish off but he throws her back inside. Kane lets go of the chokeslam though and smiles….before chokeslamming her anyway.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No holds barred. They slug it out on the floor with Kane charging into a big boot. The clothesline off the barricade drops Snitsky though and they go inside for the first time. The threat of a chokeslam sends Snitsky right back to the floor and he gets in a bell shot to take over. It’s time for a weightlifting belt (which just happened to be underneath the ring) and the whipping is on. The fans would rather do the Wave though Kane’s comeback seems to get their attention.

A chair is brought in but Snitsky knocks it out of his hands. The GO LEAFS GO chant starts up as Snitsky wraps the chair around Kane’s throat. Kane gets up and chairs Snitsky off the middle rope though and it’s time for another whipping. They fight up to the stage with Snitsky going into the steel. Snitsky misses the big right hand and gets chokeslammed off the stage with Kane going with him through the table. That’s good for a no contest of course.

Rating: D+. The fans’ reaction isn’t a good sign here as there’s no interest left in this feud. Kane defeated him cleanly at the pay per view so why should it keep going? He has his revenge and Snitsky lost his appeal as soon as someone beat him for the first time. This didn’t need to happen and the fans didn’t care, which tells you a lot about where these two are.

Post match everyone checks on the two of them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Batista is carrying this show right now, but you don’t need to do anything else going into the Rumble. There are some other good things going on at the moment so it’s not a bad show, but there are parts of it that are better than others. Just getting Batista right is all that matters, and it’s working very well right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 8, 2004
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 4,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means we’ll probably be seeing a bunch of singles matches between the people involved in the Win Eric Bischoff’s Job Match on Sunday. HHH still doesn’t have anyone chasing the title and that’s probably by design. HHH’s design that is. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with HHH in mid-promo in the ring, ranting about how he stayed home last week in an effort to teach people a lesson. All he found out was that there are a bunch of thickheaded people around here because they took the chance to attack Evolution. That attack put Ric Flair on the shelf and angered Batista. You won’t like him when he’s angry. That all happened under Bischoff’s watch, with Bischoff cutting him off and coming to the ring.

Bischoff explains the Survivor Series stipulation again but HHH grabs him by the jacket. That’s not a good idea as if HHH doesn’t let go, he might be losing the title. With his jacket now released, Bischoff explains things again so HHH gets in his face, saying a loss would mean a bunch of title defenses. Bischoff thinks it won’t be a problem so let’s have a match.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress after a break with Batista charging into an elbow but blocking the RKO. That’s enough to send Batista outside so he comes back in with the forearms and kicks in the corner. This time Orton takes him outside and sends Batista into the barricade, followed by his own right hands back inside. A thumb to the eye (shoutout to Naitch) lets Orton shoulder Batista to the floor but he’s right back in with a shoulder of his own.

The chinlock has Orton in trouble as Lawler freaks out over the possible handicaps at Survivor Series. Orton finally fights up and runs Batista over but HHH grabs the foot to block the RKO. That means the big clothesline from Batista but the referee ejects HHH. We take a break and come back with Batista getting two each off a neckbreaker and a suplex.

The chinlock goes on again as Batista doesn’t seem to quite know how to work a match this long yet (fair enough as he mainly does short matches or tags). This one doesn’t last as long though as Orton fights up but gets sent shoulder first into the post with a fall onto the steps making it even worse.

Now it’s a chinlock with a bodyscissors (now that’s better because it’s a somewhat different hold) until Batista fights up and hits a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor and a DDT on the floor gets two back inside. The annoyed Orton stomps away and Batista is busted open. The RKO is countered into a spinebuster but Batista misses a charge into the corner, letting Orton get the rollup pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and they gave it a lot of time (about twenty minutes with commercials) with Orton winning clean. Batista got in a lot though and a loss to a bigger star like this, especially when he blocked the RKO over and over, isn’t going to hurt him. Orton needed a win to get him back on track too, though I’m not sure where that track can lead at the moment.

Post break Orton gives his team a pep talk but an enraged Batista runs in to go after all four of them. The whole team can barely stop him but Arn Anderson comes in and drives Batista away single handedly because he enforces order these days.

We recap Edge vs. Chris Benoit, with Edge snapping over having to team with him instead of getting the World Title shot. They lost the Tag Team Titles and Edge put a bloodied Benoit in the Crossface in a good segment.

Benoit promises to take care of Edge tonight with violence instead of catchphrases. Why yes, this is completely missing from the Network.

Tyson Tomko vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and Christian is in Tomko’s corner. Tomko jumps him from behind to start but Shelton is right back with a knee to the face for two. A gorilla press into a fall away slam takes Shelton right back down and it’s time for a trip to the floor for a cheap shot from Christian. Back in and Shelton grabs a Russian legsweep but the Dragon Whip is countered into something like a chokeslam for two. The missed Stinger Splash makes it even worse but Shelton slips out of a powerslam, superkicks Christian, and hits the exploder to put Tomko away.

Rating: C. It didn’t have much time but it was similar to the first match: a talented guy against a monster (albeit a much less talented monster) with Shelton having to overcome the odds. Tomko looked downright competent here and it was probably the best match he’s had to date. Take it with the bag of salt required but it’s better than nothing.

Smackdown Rebound.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Trish Stratus and Lita as guests. Since Jericho seems a little intimidated by them, he has a referee here to keep them apart. With the referee holding them back, Trish calls Lita the Walking Kiss of Death and says that since Lita is here now, this show is getting canceled like Dark Angel. Jericho doesn’t like the sound of that but he’ll cancel his solution to Better Sl**s and Gardens because Trish brought the real thing right here. Trish brushes that off and says Lita has been out of action for too long (action in the ring that is).

While she’s been getting fat, Trish has been making history. Lita snaps and talks about wanting to get her hands on Trish for seven months. If she’s the Kiss of Death, Trish can pucker up on Sunday. This brings out Snitsky and he’s he’s got a baby in his arms. The baby is crying and Snitsky offers him to Lita, but pulls it back because he’s going to do whatever he wants to it….like PUNTING IT INTO THE CROWD. Avowed non-baby punter Jericho knocks Snitsky outside but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. A posting leaves Jericho down and Lita is terrified.

Here’s Simon Dean for a new life commercial. Just like last week, he’s bringing in a fan to try the system in person. The fan is picked, but Simon knows she’s not in great health because she’s so fat that she can’t take a shower. She’s so appalled that he picks someone else on the other side of the ring. This one isn’t happy with having Simon suggest that he needs help cleaning himself so we’ll move on to someone else.

The third fan finally agrees to get in the ring for a test of the Simon System. As Lawler makes jokes about her size, she introduces herself with Simon saying that everything must be bigger in Texas. Simon asks how long it’s been since she’s had sexual relations and knows that her friends just hang out with her because it makes them feel better.

She actually agrees to try the System and takes one of his drinks, which seems to taste pretty good. It helps you lose weight, and for someone her size, it should only take about twenty gallons a day. That means the drink goes onto Simon, who pours the rest onto her to end a long and not very funny segment. They’re trying to push someone but…..yeah I don’t see this one working.

HHH vs. Tajiri

Non-title. Hang on as here’s Snitsky to jump Tajiri in the aisle and kick him in the face. HHH is pleased and offers a handshake, but Snitsky says if they win, he’s coming for the title. You can hear the gulp from here.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari are in a normal suburb with Hassan talking about growing up in a place like this. He was just like any other American and treated the same….until 9/11. All he wants is a chance. Daivari speaks Arabic

Pay per view rundown with Michael Cole and Tazz joining in for the Smackdown side.

Lawler starts up an OU SUCKS chant to annoy JR.

Edge talks about making his debut in this arena and how he wants to get his old feeling back by hurting Benoit. HHH comes in and downs some water to recover from his match. He’s looking forward to having Edge next to him instead of across from him on Sunday. HHH is worried about Snitsky but Edge says they’ll win because of him….and then he’ll come after the title himself. HHH having reality set in on him is always worth a look.

Here’s Edge vs. Benoit in Smackdown vs. Raw 2004. I played the heck out of that.

HHH rants to Batista about Edge and Snitsky, who Batista needs to set straight. He leaves the title behind and Batista takes a nice look at it.

Christy Hemme does the ring announcing for the main event. We spent how many months to get a new ring announcer?

Chris Benoit vs. Edge

Benoit isn’t wasting time and starts fast, knocking Edge outside and then throwing him back inside for a failed Crossface attempt. A belly to back suplex is more of a success as the announcers talk about all the people wanting a shot at HHH. Edge pulls him to the floor to get something going for the first time but a clothesline takes care of that in a hurry. That’s enough for Edge who tries to walk out, though he’s just suckering Benoit in for a smart move. Benoit goes back first into the apron and we take a break.

Back with Edge holding a chinlock and adding some right hands to the face for a bonus. With Benoit in trouble, here are Batista and HHH for a closer look. Now it’s Maven, Jericho and Orton to stare at the two of them because they’re bullies who need a numbers advantage. We actually focus on the match for a bit with Benoit walking into a spinebuster for more right hands to the head.

Edge takes too long going up and gets headbutted into a top rope superplex for a rather nice crash. Benoit gets the better of a slugout and knocks Edge off the apron, giving us another staredown from everyone outside. Not being one to wait, Benoit goes after Edge and catapults him into the steps. The Sharpshooter goes on until Edge makes the ropes so Benoit rolls the German suplexes. Edge is busted open as Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two, meaning the Crossface goes on. Everyone comes in and it’s a no contest.

Rating: B-. These two have always had good chemistry together and that was on display here, even with all the distractions going on around them. The ending didn’t help things but it does make sense with the main story. These two had a reason to be fighting other than just being on different teams on Sunday. That’s so much better than “here’s a preview for Sunday” with nothing else between the two of them.

Post match Snitsky cleans house and Team HHH gets in the ring for a staredown. The other four come back in and take care of the villains to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was good, but outside of the opener and main event, there wasn’t much of it to be seen. The problem at the moment is that the entire show is built around one match on Sunday, which is setting up the next month’s worth of shows. There’s something to everyone coming for HHH’s title, but this show made it clear that I need to watch the upcoming Raw’s instead of Survivor Series. That’s a rather backwards way of doing things and while this show was certainly watchable, I don’t really care to see the Raw half of the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 7, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Tonight is the night. After all the weeks of build, all the hype and all the stories, tonight is when it finally happens. I won’t spoil it for you here because I’m not TNA, but tonight is when something very big takes place. Granted they showed it on Impact last week, but that’s been shown to work in drawing an audience in the past. Let’s get to it.

We get a parental advisory due to mature subject matter for tonight’s show.

Team 3D and Tommy Dreamer talk about how they’re going to war tonight and promise to put Dixie through a table tonight.

We get the IT HAPPENS trailer to open the show.

Bram vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball. The bell rings and we’ve already got an ECW chant. They quickly head to the floor and the fans want tables. The announcers are telling the fans to call their friends for the Dixie stuff. Weapons are brought in and the fans want blood. Abyss wedges a chair between the ropes but takes some trashcans to the head to put him down.

Bram brings in a barbed wire board but gets sent into the corner for his efforts. He brings in the wrench but Abyss grates his crotch. Abyss sends him face first into the chair and it’s time for Janice and the tacks. Bram tries to fight back but gets chokeslammed onto the tacks, only to have Magnus offer a distraction. A spear puts Abyss through the barbed wire board and a Janice shot to the ribs gives Bram the pin at 8:12.

Rating: C+. Picture ANY Abyss Monster’s Ball match and this was about the same. I’m sick of seeing TNA try to rekindle the ECW fire though. That’s clearly what they were going for here and while it was entertaining, I’m totally over it. This was entertaining, but do something new instead of just rehashing everything.

Joe and Low Ki trade words over who will be X-Division Champion.

Team Dixie says they’re ready for the war tonight. Snitsky insists it isn’t his fault.

Here’s the Trio with a bunch of women. MVP rants about how he had issues when he was the boss and how everyone whined to him. As long as they control the World Title, they control this company. Lashley is going to be champion for years to come and he’s run through every hero here. First up there was Eric Young, then Jeff Hardy and last week it was Austin Aries. There’s no one left for him to beat.

This brings out Bobby Roode for a war of words between he and MVP, but Roode wants to talk to Lashley. Roode says that he’s a former World Champion and says MVP is going to manipulate Lashley every chance he gets. Lashley holds up the belt and the Trio attacks, with MVP nailing him with the crutch. Eric Young and Austin Aries come out for the save.

Gunner and Samuel Shaw are walking in the back when Anderson comes up. He wants to talk to Gunner but wants Shaw gone. Shaw leaves and Gunner says Anderson should trust Samuel. Anderson isn’t impressed.

Bully Ray won’t say who their fourth man for the eight man tag is.

Mr. Anderson/Samuel Shaw/Gunner vs. BroMans/DJZ

Anderson and Jesse get things going with the bigger star nailing a slam and elbows for two. Gunner comes in and hammers away for some two counts as I continue to wonder what happened to his big push. Gunner tries to tag out to Shaw but Anderson tags himself in due to mistrust. Anderson beats up the now legal Robbie but still won’t tag Shaw. Instead it’s Gunner again with the heels taking over via some good old fashioned eye rakes.

DJZ nails a missile dropkick and the triple teaming begins. A flapjack puts DJZ down but Anderson steals another tag from Shaw. Jesse and Ion save Robbie from a Mic Check and everything breaks down. Shaw finally comes in and destroys everything in sight, only to have Anderson get in an argument with him, allowing Robbie to roll Anderson up for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D+. Standard six man storytelling here as the BroMans actually get a win for a change. I’m not sure where they’re going with Anderson/Gunner/Shaw but it seems like one of those stories where they’re either going very slowly or have no idea what their end goal is supposed to be.

Dixie has King Mo for protection tonight.

Gunner and Anderson argue about Shaw. Samuel comes in and breaks up the argument because it was his fault. This seems to appease Anderson a bit.

Ethan Carter III/Rhino/Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky vs. Team 3D/Tommy Dreamer/???

This is a hardcore war but entrances are staggered every 90 seconds and the win can’t take place until the last man enters. It’s Carter vs. Dreamer to get things going and both have weapons. They quickly head outside with Dreamer’s knees being sent into the steps. Back in and Dreamer hits a quick suplex with a Singapore cane before driving in a bunch of right hands in the corner. Rhino comes in to make it 2-1 and nails Dreamer with the trashcan lid. A bad looking spinebuster sets up some cane shots but D-Von ties things up with a trashcan. D-Von takes over with a few shots of his own and we take a break.

Back with Snitsky giving the Carters an advantage (and looking to weigh about 400lbs) until Bully Ray runs out to even things up again and clean house. Ray looks up at Dixie and Mo as the ECW guys keep dominating. Stephens comes in to complete Team Dixie and clean house with a chair. The heels destroy everyone until the big mystery partner is Al Snow.

The fans want Head (and have a bunch of mannequin heads of course) as Al beats up everyone again. Ray nails a top rope cross body (didn’t look bad either) to take out the mercenaries. Spud tries to make a save but gets What’s Up from Head. Snow moonsaults onto every heel not named Rhino as this just keeps going. Not that it matters as 3D ends Rhino at 17:37.

Rating: D+. This was just WarGames minus the cage and a lot of the talent. There wasn’t much to see here and Al Snow was about as uninteresting of a partner as there could have been. Also, I didn’t need a second hardcore match in an hour but this show is an ECW tribute show anymore so you have to have it.

Bully tells Dixie that the clock is ticking but Dixie says King Mo will knock him out by the end of the night.

The Beautiful People don’t like Taryn. Love wants her title shot.

Ethan says his partner will protect Dixie tonight.

Bound For Glory is coming to Tokyo.

Here are the Beautiful People to complain about Gail and Taryn getting all the attention. Angelina says they’re hotter and that she’s a better wrestler, so why isn’t she getting all the accolades? Instead here’s Taryn to say that she’s never been champion but has Gail’s respect. Angelina says she’s better than both Taryn, Gail, and every other girl on the roster.

Velvet looks annoyed but here’s Gail to interrupt. She’s been given the choice of her opponent, so it’s going to be a fourway next week. Velvet is asked her opinion but Gail cuts her off and says the title match will determine the best next week. The Beautiful People cleans house but gets sent to the floor for their efforts.

James Storm tells Sanada to win the X-Division Title and bow to him.

Someone whose name starts with an H and ends with a K is coming.

We get a preview for next week: the Hardys vs. Team 3D and a fourway Knockouts match.

Bully promises to put Dixie through a table.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Low Ki vs. Samoa Joe

The title is vacant coming in. James Storm introduces Sanada in a nice touch, even though I still don’t know what he gets out of this. Joe hammers on Sanada in the corner to start before hitting the chop to his back and a kick to his face. Sanada avoids a knee drop and hits a quick basement dropkick before Low Ki comes back in for a slugout. Joe sends Ki out to the floor but Sanada breaks up a dive. Ki and Sanada head out to the floor for a brawl with Joe nailing both of them with a suicide elbow.

Back in and Joe does his powerbomb into the STF on Sanada. Ki makes a save and hits a cartwheel kick to Sanada’s face, finally giving us the big showdown. Joe gets the better of it but Ki counters the MuscleBuster into a dragon sleeper. Sanada breaks the hold but Ki counters the tiger suplex into a double stomp for two. Joe puts Ki in a cross armbreaker before slapping the Clutch on Sanada for the title at 6:51.

Rating: C+. I know a lot of people are going to love this match but it’s never been my style. I don’t care for the X-Division triple threat style most of the time and this was no better than a lot of the other stuff I see. The title isn’t going to mean much again in a few months, as is always the case for the X-Division.

King Mo is warming up as Dixie cheers him on.

Long video on Dixie vs. Bully. This is a really weird way of doing a segment as they’re acknowledging what’s coming but still treating it like it’s spontaneous.

Here’s all of Dixie’s team but she fires Stephens and Snitsky like the maniac she is. Cue Team 3D and Dreamer with a table but Dixie hides behind everyone she’s paid off. Ray promises to put Dixie through a table and Dreamer says Dixie is everything that’s wrong with this business. Mo nails Dreamer and the brawl is on with the ECW guys taking over. Suddenly Dixie is alone in the ring with 3D but runs when she’s about to take 3D.

Spud swears it’s never going to happen but the entire locker room comes out to throw Dixie to the wolves (Team 3D, not Richards/Edwards). D-Von loads her up (and grabs her in a rather personal spot) and Bully powerbombs Dixie off the middle rope through the table, in what I believe was Dixie’s first bump ever. We even get Bully’s old euphoric look and the announcers are WAY too happy to see this.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I have no problem with a heel, male or female, taking a big bump to end a story. What I’m not wild on is how everything was announced in advance. This is going to cause some issues in the mainstream media given how violent it was, but that’s the nature of pro wrestling. It felt very scripted though and that’s not a good thing, but the ending was exactly what it should have been.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a case where the main angle is going to determine your taste in the show. It pays off the angle and hopefully keeps Dixie off TV for a VERY long time but it’s going to draw a lot of controversy. The wrestling was good enough for the most part, though I’m very sick of the ECW tribute stuff. Hopefully this blows it off but I want the energy to stay as it’s been awesome.

Results
Bram b. Abyss – Janice to the ribs
BroMans/DJZ b. Mr. Anderson/Gunner/Samuel Shaw – Rollup to Anderson
Team 3D/Tommy Dreamer/Al Snow b. Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky/Ethan Carter III/Rhino – 3D to Rhino
Samoa Joe b. Low Ki and Sanada – Koquina Clutch to Sanada

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It’s a slightly lesser known name today due to a lack of interesting wrestlers’ parents mating nine months earlier. Today it’s Gene Snitsky.

Gene debuted on Raw after a meaningless run in OVW. His first match on Raw was seemingly as a jobber on the September 13, 2004 episode of Monday Night Raw against Kane.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No DQ so Kane can have extra fun. Lita, currently pregnant with Kane’s baby, is with the big bald here. An uppercut takes Gene down to start and kicks him in the side of the head. Kane drops a leg but charges into a boot in the corner to stop the momentum for a bit. Snitsky hits Kane low and fires off some awkward looking right hands (he punches forward so far that his fist winds up by his knees), only to run into a big boot. Kane gets a chair and wraps it around Gene’s neck but Lita stops the Pillmanizing. An argument ensues, allowing Snitsky to blast Kane with the chair, knocking him onto Lita. Kane freaks out and it’s a no contest.

The story of course was that Lita lost her baby, starting a huge feud between Kane and Snitsky. Over the course of the next few months, Kane never could get the better of Snitsky, even after Snitsky punted a baby doll into the crowd in an awesome moment. Gene also started saying “it wasn’t my fault” as a catchphrase. The two feuded for about four months, eventually leading to a steel cage match on the January 31, 2005 episode of Raw.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

The wars between these two have resulted in Kane having a bad arm and Snitsky having bad ribs. Snitsky is rammed face first into the cage and punched a few times to start before a double clothesline puts both guys down. A hard forearm staggers Kane and Snitsky sends him into the buckle and cage for good measure. Gene goes up to escape but here’s Trish Stratus in a neck brace due to a recent attack from Kane. Snitsky is pulled off the cage but Kane can’t make it to the floor.

Back in and Kane lifts him into the air and slams him down but both guys crash to the mat. Kane sends him face first into the cage and hits the top rope clothesline but Trish slams the door on him. There’s no effect though and Kane brings Trish into the cage for a chokeslam, only to have Snitsky make the save with a big boot. Gene gets out of the cage but doesn’t go to the floor. Instead he tears the door off the cage and throws it inside but Kane kicks it back into Snitsky’s face. Kane crotches Snitsky on the door and chokeslams him for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was mainly punching and kicking but it was a good way to close out the feud. Snitsky got a WAY bigger push than he was supposed to get out of this and lasted for months in the midcard as a result. The Trish stuff didn’t need to exist but she looked great in a low cut top so who am I to complain?

Snitsky would fall down the card for several months before getting a brief resurrgence for a feud with Big Show, culminating in a match at Unforgiven 2005.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

One of the dangers of doing these reviews is running into matches like this one with zero backstory at all. I’m really hoping we get an explanation here because I don’t think I’m going to be able to make myself care about it otherwise. Ok so apparently Snitsky jumped Show with the bell but we get cut off by a brawl so we have to stop the flashback. Show throws him around with ease so Snitsky tries to walk.

Show does the SHHH bit and Snitsky is in trouble. Well it worked well the first time so let’s do it again. Show’s charge into the post misses and he clotheslines the steel. We actually go to the flashback while Snitsky has a hold on Show. It’s an armlock so at least he’s thinking. Snitsky manages a belly to back suplex which was pretty impressive. It only gets two but still it looked good.

Snitsky can’t keep him down so he goes back to the arm because that’s worked so well thus far. Ok so that is actually good psychology but it’s a little boring, especially when we know Snitsky has about as much chance as I do of beating Big Show. Show grabs a spinebuster out of nowhere and both guys are down. Show NIPS UP (holding the rope but still) and I think you know what’s coming now. Splash in the corner sets up the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was under seven minutes and that’s the best thing that could have happened to it. They just did power stuff and the arm worked helped it a little bit. It’s not a good match or anything but it could have been a lot worse, which is why the keeping it short was a great thing. Snitsky was pretty worthless after his debut feud with Kane though.

Snitsky would plummet down the card after this, appearaing primarily on Sunday Night Heat. He would get one brief return to TV on ECW as a monster heel, including a match with Rob Van Dam on the May 15, 2007 episode of ECW on Sci-Fi.

Rob Van Dam vs. Snitsky

The announcers spend the opening of the match talking about ECW Champion Vince McMahon (just go with it) not being here tonight as Rob kicks at Snitsky’s legs. A big boot takes Van Dam’s head off and a suplex gets two for Gene. Choking ensues until Gene grabs a double underhook to crank on Rob’s arms.

RVD comes back with a kick to the head and a spinwheel kick to the jaw. The top rope kick to the face misses and Rob comes back with another kick to the face. You may be noticing a pattern in Van Dam’s offense. Rolling Thunder misses but Rob ducks a big boot. They head outside so Snitaky can take Rob’s head off with a clothesline. A chair shot to Rob’s head is enough for a DQ.

Rating: D. The match was far longer than it needed to be with Rob spending most of the match either in rest holds or kicking Snitsky in the head. Snitsky looked a lot more evil around this time, having shaved his head and put on some additional muscle mass. Unfortunately it didn’t do much for his in ring work.

Here’s a match from May 11, 2008 on Sunday Night Heat so Snitsky can at least win one match in this thing.

Snitsky vs. Phil Atlas

Even the annoucners are saying this isn’t going to last long. Snitsky throws Atlas around as commentator Josh Matthews says change the channel if you expect Atlas to have a chance. Nice advice there guys. A hard clothesline sets up some elbow drops on Phil before putting on that double underhook hold. Atlas tries a middle rope cross body but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. A pumphandle powerslam ends Phil with ease.

Snitsky closed out his WWE tenure in 2008, including a non-title match against World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk on the July 7, 2008 episode of Monday Night Raw.

CM Punk vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him into the corner to start and catches a diving Punk in a bearhug. A slam puts Punk down again and an elbow drop gets two. Back to the bearhug for a bit before Snitsky misses a legdrop. Punk comes back with a series of kicks (man do a lot of Snitsky’s opponents use kicks) followed by the corner knee/bulldog combination and the GTS for the pin.

That’s about it for Snitsky who didn’t have much of a career in WWE. He was around for a long time but there just wasn’t anything there after the matches with Kane. At the end of the day, Snitsky was a big guy with a good look but nothing to back it up. He certainly wasn’t bad but there’s no real reason to get behind him at all.

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Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s another year and the main thing that has changed is a few people rising up the card. For instance, Cena and Batista are about six months away from taking over the company while Orton is currently the top face on Raw, feuding with who else but HHH. Other than that we’ve got JBL as world champion which was pretty dreadful stuff. Hopefully this is more inspired than last year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.

The set looks cool here as it’s made of six screens which I guess will act like the Tron tonight. That’s the annoying thing about WWE today: all of the shows look the same.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Spike is defending and is a heel here. This is one fall to a finish. Kidman hurt Chavo on a Shooting Star Press and seemed to be proud of it, which resulted in a heel turn for him. The other good thing here is that they don’t have to tag. That’s always a waste of time in these things as you just wait for things to break down. Kidman and Spike form a quick alliance, only to have Kidman dropkick the champ out to the floor.

Rey sends Kidman to the floor and it’s off to Rey vs. Chavo who are apparently friends at this point. Oh please, like these two could EVER get along. Rey spins Chavo around with a headscissors before Spike sends Rey into the corner and stomps away while screaming. Chavo comes back in and a double clothesline puts himself and Spike down. With Kidman on the apron, Rey hits a rana to send him out to the floor in a cool looking spot.

Back in and Rey tries the sitout bulldog on Chavo but Guerrero throws him onto Kidman in a seated senton. Chavo dives on both of them, leaving Spike standing ta….short actually. Anyway the champ dives on all of them but they step aside to let him crash. Chavo finally gets his hands on Billy back in the ring but Spike comes back in to break up a pinfall attempt.

Rey misses a moonsault over Spike’s head and gets thrown to the floor as a result. We get a Tower of Doom with everyone minus Rey involved, so Rey comes in and tries to steal a pin. Rey charges at Kidman but gets caught in a BK Bomb (Sky High) for two but Chavo breaks up the Shooting Star. Spike hits a running headbutt to Rey’s ribs but the Dudley Dog is broken up. 619 hits Spike but Billy breaks up the West Coast Pop. Chavo hits the Gory Bomb on Spike but Kidman hits a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes out Kidman and Spike steals the pin on Chavo to retain.

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything here but it was fine for an opener. Rey was insanely popular still but Spike keeping the title was a great way to tick off the fans. There’s nothing wrong with a heel winning, as long as the opener fires up the crowd, which this did. Good choice.

Heidenreich is getting fired up by Heyman when Paul goes to get his jacket. Snitsky, another creepy heel of the day, comes in. He says he likes Heidenreich’s poetry and Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. There’s WAY too much deep breathing here. By the way, this was almost who Taker and Kane fought at Mania before the company woke up and stuck Orton against Taker instead.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Shelton is defending but the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s theme makes him far more awesome. Shelton is at the point in his career when he’s about to get on one of the biggest rolls in years but it never went anywhere past the IC Title. The champ cranks on the arm to start before they head to the mat. Keeping in mind that Shelton was a legit All-American wrestler, he’s just fine being on the mat with Christian.

Christian cranks on the arm but Shelton drops to the mat and immediately nips up which looked great. It didn’t do anything but it looked great. Christian talks trash and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Shelton skins the cat before hitting a great looking springboard clothesline for two. A HARD chop slows Benjamin down and Christian talks some more trash. Shelton counters a monkey flip by casually landing on his feet and grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two.

We head to the floor for a quick distraction by Tomko but Christian gets punched in the face instead. Tomko tries to cheat again and this time the distraction is enough to let Christian get in a shot. Why that creepy little bas…..never mind. A cross body gets two for Shelton but Christian immediately puts him back down with a neckbreaker. Off to a chinlock (Tomko: “BREAK HIS NECK!”) by Christian and he launches Benjamin to the floor as he tries to break the hold.

Shelton comes back with a hard whip into the corner to put Christian down. A Russian legsweep gets two for the champ as does a slingshot reverse suplex (called a reverse fisherman’s suplex by JR for some reason). Benjamin misses a Stinger Splash and gets caught in a reverse DDT for two. Tomko slides the belt in (hitting the referee in the foot in the process) but Shelton kicks Christian in the face.

The referee sees Christian holding the belt, which lets Benjamin hit a top rope clothesline for two. As the belt is being put out, Tomko kicks Benjamin in the face for two. The Exploder Suplex (a snap floatover T-Bone suplex which is Benjamin’s finisher) is countered but Benjamin kicks Tomko down. The Unprettier is countered into the Exploder for the pin to keep the title on Benjamin.

Rating: B. I really got into this match at the end even though Christian didn’t have much of a chance at winning. The Tomko and belt stuff didn’t help anything but they had to try to slow Shelton down a bit. Benjamin was in the beginning of a very long run with the belt that would last until June, which I think was the longest reign in about six years.

Really good match here as Christian put Shelton over strong. There’s a reason this guy basically had the world title waiting for him on a plate whenever he stepped up enough to take it, but that never happened for various reasons. Namely he just stopped trying and coasted on his reputation, but that’s another story.

Angle complains to Edge about something Edge wrote in his book about Angle. Kurt makes fun of Edge for never winning the world title. Just wait another fifteen months or so Kurtski. They trade some insults before Kurt leaves and runs into Eugene. Eugene lists off (slowly) some of Angle’s accomplishments before singing the You Suck version of his theme song.

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak

Eddie Guerrer, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show

Eddie and Angle have been feuding since Wrestlemania, Carlito debuted and beat Cena for the US Title before injuring Cena in a nightclub (or having someone do it. The attacker was never revealed I don’t think but it might have been Carlito’s buddy Jesus. Make your own jokes because Cena destroyed Jesus at Armageddon), Show is feuding with Reigns and Jindrak and Angle for shaving his head, and Van Dam is there as a warm body.

Before the bell, Cena chases Carlito and Jesus to the back and gets in a brawl with them. Carlito and Jesus steal a car and speed away, which is an elimination apparently. Back at ringside there’s a big brawl until Show (on a bad ankle) pulls Jindrak into the ring. Here’s Cena back to the ring to make it 4-3. Off to Van Dam who hits a spin kick before it’s off to Eddie for the slingshot hilo, followed by Rolling Thunder from Van Dam.

Eddie suplexes Jindrak down and armdrags Reigns as he headscissors Jindrak in a cool move. Angle comes in to stop his team’s bleeding but it’s quickly back to Reigns for a bunch of backbreakers for two. Off to Jindrak for a full nelson but Eddie sends him into the buckle. Eddie dives for the corner but Angle literally tackles Guerrero to break it up. Kurt hits a belly to belly before bringing in Reigns for more stomping.

Off to a chinlock from Jindrak but Eddie eventually grabs a jawbreaker to escape. Angle again blocks the tag and puts on a front facelock. One thing to note here: the entire time the hold is on, Cena is reaching out for a tag and encouraging Eddie. It doesn’t mean much, but it helps things from getting really boring. Little things like that can make a big difference. Watch guys like Rock and Hogan when they’re on the apron in tag matches. They’re ALWAYS doing something, even if it’s minor like clapping. It can make a difference.

Jindrak comes in but Eddie knocks him away and it’s off to Van Dam. Rob goes off (Cole: “He’s supple!”) and hits an enziguri on Angle to set up the Five Star but Jindrak pulls him away. The Splash hits Jindrak, allowing Angle to roll up Rob (using the ropes) for the pin. Angle heads to the floor so Eddie rolls up the illegal Jindrak, using the ropes as well, for an elimination to make it 3-2 (Eddie/Show/Cena vs. Reigns/Angle).

Eddie tells Angle to bring it on and there go the straps. Eddie tags in Show, making Angle tag in Reigns. Reigns gets in one or two shots but a chokeslam beats him quickly. Kurt rolls through a chokeslam into the ankle lock but Show sends him through the ropes to escape. Angle starts to walk up the aisle but Van Dam is waiting on him. Kurt backs up while still looking at RVD, and backs into Show. He reaches up to see how tall what he backed into is and shakes his head. Show throws Kurt back in to face Cena (in for the first time legally) and it’s an FU and Frog Splash for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a good match but it was entertaining, which is more than you got from almost all of last year’s show. I’m guessing Cena and Carlito were injured as they didn’t do anything for the most part. Angle was great here and the look on his face when he backed into Big Show always makes me chuckle. Fun match here which is what you need sometimes.

Maven, who for some reason likely related to drug intoxication is in the main event tonight, offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach (the West Virginia accent was a killer for him) but Snitsky jumps Maven and Maven is badly busted open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized OH SNAP WE PUT MAVEN IN A MAIN EVENT!

Video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker, where Heidenreich is the latest guy to try to kill Taker at Paul Heyman’s direction. This was one of those matches where they were trying to make it seem like Undertaker was in trouble but Heidenreich comes off like the villain in the fifth direct to video sequel in a horror series that has overstayed its welcome by two movies.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants. Taker does the big long entrance as is his custom. Taker stares at Heidenreich for awhile before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Taker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Taker against the post again and we head to the floor.

Heidenreich pounds away on Taker against the barricade while shouting that he can beat Undertaker. Taker again shrugs that off and hits the legdrop on the apron for two back in the ring. Old School hits the second time followed by a modified Downward Spiral for two. A big boot misses Heidenreich in the corner and it’s time for more punching on the floor. This isn’t one of those matches where the fans are worried about Undertaker as I don’t think anyone believes Heidenreich is a real threat.

A kick to Taker’s face sets up a chinlock and a clothesline for two. Another clothesline stops Taker’s comeback but a suplex stops the stopping of the comeback. Heidenreich sends him to the apron but Taker stuns him on the top rope. Taker channels his inner Kane (he had the name first) and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back in and Snake Eyes/the big boot takes Heidenreich down again.

The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Taker’s arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Taker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. Chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.

Rating: D. Like I said at the end of the day, did ANYONE buy Heidenreich as a real threat to Taker? The guy just wasn’t that good and he came off as more silly than a serious threat. Not much to see here and Heidenreich never got higher than he did in this match. Taker would move on to a much better feud with Orton soon enough.

Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.

We recap Trish vs. Lita, which is happening because….well who else are they going to fight? Lita got pregnant with Baby Kane but lost it because of Snitsky. Trish made fun of Lita for being a sl**, having a dead baby, and for being fat.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending. Lita is all ticked off and punches Trish as soon as she gets in. Trish gets pounded even more and they head to the floor where Trish goes into a table and gets cracked with a chair 80 seconds into the match. Trish apparently has a broken nose. This wasn’t much, but these two would main event Raw in a few weeks. I don’t mean a match that went on last and then they had the promo that closed the show. I mean they spent the whole show hyping up Trish Stratus vs. Lita as the main event and Lita won the title and celebrated to end the show. It was actually pretty awesome.

Teddy comes in to congratulate Team Guerrero while Show is in a towel. Show hands the towel to Teddy and walks off. Cena: “THAT’S DISGUSTING!” Teddy makes Cena vs. Carlito for the title on Thursday. Why is Cena in his underwear?

We recap Booker T vs. JBL. Booker pinned JBL in a tag match but JBL says Booker isn’t in his league. Booker beat up Orlando Jordan and pinned him to earn the title shot. There really isn’t much to this one.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Booker’s big yellow gloves don’t really do him any favors. Feeling out process to start as they trade really basic stuff for the first minute and a half or so. Booker knocks him to the floor and JBL gets the advantage coming back in. Back to the floor and Booker gets sent over the announce table. As they head back in, Jordan gets in a cheap shot to give JBL two. Still in first gear at best.

JBL hooks in a cobra clutch followed by an elbow drop and a chinlock. After that VICIOUS offense, Booker easily fights back and hits a superplex to put both guys down. Orlando gets in some more cheap shots on the floor but JBL walks into a Book End out there to give Booker his first real advantage. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Booker. They’re into second gear now but it’s just not an interesting match.

Booker goes up but another Jordan distraction lets JBL avoid a Houston Hangover (flip legdrop). Another sleeper by JBL is escaped but Jordan breaks up the ax kick. JBL hits a quick DDT for two and there goes the referee. Jordan comes in and pounds on Booker but Josh Matthews comes out to help Booker for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. JBL destroys Josh but there’s the side kick to JBL. The ax kick takes him down as well but Jordan takes out the referee. Booker hits the Book End on Jordan but JBL clocks Booker with the belt to retain.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. Basically they were redoing the HHH/Flair run from 2003 with Jordan interfering every ten seconds and the matches sucking and the crowd groaning when JBL retains the title. JBL is a hilarious commentator and a solid main event jobber, but as champion the guy was painfully boring.

Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.

We recap the main event which is Team HHH vs. Team Orton. Team Orton has united to oppose HHH’s tyranny and the winning team gets to run Raw for a week each. Snitsky has said that when Team HHH wins, he’s coming for HHH’s world title, as has Edge. Batista has been looking at the title too. This gets the music video treatment for the night. Maven and Snitsky stick out like two shattered thumbs in this video.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

HHH is world champion. Maven isn’t here due to the earlier attack. It’s interesting to think that it would be Batista rather than Orton that would rise up out of this match as the real star. Not that Orton isn’t a star, but Batista was without a doubt the biggest star in the company in 2005 and part of 2006. For some reason Edge comes out last. Benoit vs. Edge to start which is fine with me. Benoit destroys Edge and knocks him to the floor to start but it’s off to Orton vs. Snitsky.

Orton pounds him down with ease before it’s Jericho in off the tag. HHH comes in but Jericho immediately elbows him down and brings in Orton to no response. Orton can’t challenge for the world title because of some stipulation due to losing to Flair. Great way to make sure the fans get behind him there right? Make it clear that no matter how awesome he is, he’s not getting the title shot.

Batista comes in and has some better luck with Randy, firing off shoulders into the corner. Edge is in now and he mocks Orton’s pose in an often done bit. Edge draws in Jericho for no apparent reason, but it allows Orton to clothesline Edge back down. Off to Benoit as the fans are dead for this match for some reason. Benoit cleans house and suplexes everyone in sight. Edge prevents a Swan Dive onto HHH, so HHH suplexes Edge onto HHH and Swan Dives both of them for two.

Everything breaks down even more and HHH gets caught in the Sharpshooter by Benoit. Snitsky makes the save and Edge gets put in the Crossface. This time Batista saves, allowing HHH to Pedigree Benoit and give Edge the pin for the elimination. Jericho comes in to pound away on Edge but HHH and Snitsky get in an argument. Batista comes to HHH’s defense but has to break up the Walls on HHH instead.

Flair trips up Jericho and gets ejected for his efforts. Flair walks up the aisle but comes back a second later to allow Batista to kill Orton and Jericho. There’s the spinebuster to Jericho but Orton hits Big Dave with the belt, allowing Jericho to hit the enziguri on Batista for the pin. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to knock Snitsky onto HHH on the floor but Batista kills Jericho with the clothesline before leaving.

It’s Snitsky vs. Jericho at the moment with Snitsky choking away. Edge comes in and pounds on his fellow Canadian but gets caught in the sleeper drop to put both guys down. Orton gets shoved to the floor and Edge and HHH double team him for a bit. Jericho DDTs Snitsky down….and here comes Maven. He goes right after Snitsky and takes him down with a forearm as things seem to go into slow motion.

Maven bulldogs HHH down and is all fired up, but Snitsky kills him with a chair shot for a DQ. HHH covers the dead Maven for the easy elimination. Edge keeps covering Jericho but can’t get more than a bunch of two’s. It’s Orton/Jericho vs. HHH/Edge if you’re keeping score. A spear puts Jericho out and it’s 2-1 with Orton in trouble. Orton says bring it on and is promptly beaten down in the corner.

Edge suplexes Orton down and holds him while HHH pounds away. Orton punches away at HHH but gets DDT’d down for two. Edge comes back in and gets slammed down before getting dropkicked into HHH on the apron. That gets two off a rollup from Orton but he walks into a HHH spinebuster. We get the required heel miscommunication as Edge spears HHH down and walks into an RKO for the pin. It’s down to Orton vs. HHH with the Game hitting Orton low as Edge leaves. The Pedigree is countered into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. The match was good stuff but as I said earlier, Orton pinning HHH doesn’t mean anything. Somehow Orton would get a title match at the Rumble through means I don’t remember where HHH would destroy Orton once and for all. I think I’m the only person on the planet that liked Orton’s first main event face run so when I watched this I was digging it at the time. It turned out they got lucky with Batista, but the Orton face run could have been more if HHH hadn’t hacked the legs out from under it.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some dull stuff here, but the good stuff really is solid as you can see the new generation ready to burst through. The main event was entertaining stuff and the fans did react to Orton pinning HHH clean. The Smackdown side of things was pretty lame but other than that, this was a solid show and I was digging it at the end. Good show.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle

Original: D

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D

Redo: D

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Original: F

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

Original: B-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2004-eyebrows-huffman-main-events/

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