Battle Of The WWF Superstars II
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Host: Sean Mooney

This is another Coliseum Video and much like a good many of them, it really doesn’t have a theme. The previous edition was only notable for Sean Mooney doing a really bad Patton impression so hopefully they have something better this time around. You never can tell with these things though so let’s get to it.

This is from the summer of 1991.

We open with a preview of some WrestleFest 91. Randy Savage jumps in to say he’ll be hosting the tape, which wasn’t very good.

Sean Mooney is indeed the host again and the Patton stuff continues, thankfully without the voice.

We see Mooney driving up to meet his troops, promising them a lot of action.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Roddy Piper

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and this should be good. They take their time to start with Perfect spitting gum into Piper’s face, earning himself a beating out to the floor. The chase gets Perfect back inside so Piper puts the referee in the corner to start the fight. That has Perfect bailing out to the floor again before coming back inside to lose a slugout. Piper even grabs Perfect’s singlet to hold him in place for more right hands.

The singlet is ripped off, leaving Perfect in regular trunks for a weird look. Piper gets up for a double clothesline but can’t follow up, allowing Perfect to putt he singlet on again. Back up and Perfect starts choking before kicking away at the ribs. A dropkick puts Piper on the apron and it’s time to remove a turnbuckle pad. That’ll be for later apparently as they go to the pinfall reversal sequence, before a kickout crushes the referee.

Piper is sent into the exposed buckle, allowing the PerfectPlex to (eventually) get two. Another ram into the buckle is blocked and they go outside, with Piper ramming him into the steps a few times. Piper finds a belt for some whipping but Perfect sends him into the barricade. Perfect goes up top but gets crotched back out to the floor, allowing Piper to beat the count for the win at 12:18.

Rating: B. This is a case where it wasn’t about the action, which was just ok, but rather having a hot crowd and playing along with them. Piper and Perfect knew exactly what to do here and it wound up working so well. Piper could got so much out of so little and when he had someone as good as Perfect to boost it up, things got even better. Very fun match here, even if it was mostly goofy.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning a fan requested it, and for once I can kind of believe that. Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys as Luke and Knobbs start things off. Knobbs bails into the corner to start and everything breaks down in a hurry. The brawl sees the Nastys cleared to the ring so whacking can ensue. Back in and Sags takes over on Butch to slow things down a bit. It’s quickly back to Luke and some Battering Rams clear the ring and it’s time to march.

We settle back down to Sags getting in a chair shot to Luke so the villains can actually take over for a change. Butch is drawn in, allowing some elbows to keep Luke down. The big elbow in the corner misses for Sags though and the tag brings Butch in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Luke makes a save, only for Sags to elbow Butch and give Knobbs the pin at 7:48.

Rating: D. And then we go back in the other direction with this drek. This was every bit as bad as you would have expected, with the Bushwhackers doing their comedy and the Nastys doing their best to sell it. The problem is neither team can do much other than brawling and this was more about the comedy, which made for a rough match.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart is half of the Tag Team Champions at this point and it feels like these two fought a dozen times on Coliseum Video. Barbarian powers him down to start and kicks him in the head. Hart’s attempt at a comeback sees him tossed into the corner but he avoids the rope walk elbow. That lets Hart’s middle rope elbow connect and there’s the running clothesline for two more. Barbarian is right back with a powerslam before he blocks a piledriver. Instead he sits down on Hart and poses, allowing Hart to get the sunset flip for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C. You could more or less guarantee that was going to be the finish, if nothing else due to how many times they did the EXACT SAME THING. The match itself was fine, but what are you supposed to do with a match this short? This felt like “get Hart on the card on his own” more than anything else, which was fine.

And now, trivia, asked by wrestlers! Well some of them at least.

1. What was the official symbol for Hulk Hogan’s return against Earthquake?

2. What tag team was known as the “Pink & Black Attack?”

3. Why was the Big Boss Man mad at Bobby Heenan?

4. What is Mr. Perfect’s finishing move?

5. What caused Jake Roberts to lose his vision?

Not exactly tricky here.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Jake Roberts vs. Kato

Mr. Fuji and Tanaka are here too. Roberts is in some weird blue/yellow tights and that’s a very strange look for him. An early wristlock sends Kato bailing over to the ropes but Roberts stays on the arm, even lifting him up by said arm. Kato fights up and is elbowed in the face, followed by another takedown by the arm. The threat of the DDT sends Kato bailing out to the floor, only for his cheap shot to be cut off.

Another attempt at the DDT has Kato on the floor again but he’s back in a bit faster this time. Roberts runs into a knee in the corner and gets sent outside for a cane shot to the back. Tanaka gets in a shot of his own and Roberts finally gets back inside. Some left hands and the short clothesline drop Kato but Tanaka sneaks in to break up the DDT. The DDT connects a few seconds later but Tanaka comes in for the DQ at 7:04.

Rating: D-. Freaking KATO? There is something to be said about protecting wrestlers, but not only was Kato beaten, but Roberts fought all three of them off and had the match won. This was a one sided match against a villain who was in way over his head and he can’t even take a fall. I have no idea what the thinking was here but there was no reason for it to go this way.

Post match Roberts fights the team off and chases Fuji to the back with the snake.

We get a profile on Jim Duggan, meaning the soldiers now have 2x4s.

We start with Duggan in a building made of wood, where he gives us a tour of his collection of 2x4s, one of which is autographed by people with wood related named (Woody from Cheers, James Woods and the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra). Ok that’s at least clever.

From New York City, New York, March 15, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Non-title flag match and General Adnan and Hulk Hogan (in camouflage) are here too. Duggan slugs away to start and Slaughter is down in the corner early. Actually we’ll make that out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and they lock up, with Slaugher backing him against the ropes. That earns him a big shove and the right hands, which Duggan always made look good.

Slaughter manages to get in a kick to the face though and some choking on the ropes has Duggan in more trouble. Duggan slugs up again but gets caught in a sleeper to slow him back down. That’s only good for two arm drops before Duggan gets up and sends Slaughter into the buckle. Slaughter knocks him down again and actually goes up for a top rope knee. Hogan even gets jumped from behind, which is enough to let Slaughter go up again but get shoved down for the crash.

Hogan and Adnan just come on in, with Slaughter going outside to beat on Hogan some more. Some cable choking has Hogan down and now it’s back inside for some knee drops to Duggan. The camel clutch goes on so Adnan gets on the apron for the sole purpose of allowing Hogan to hit Slaughter with the board. Duggan eventually gets up and covers Slaughter, which draws in Adnan for the save and DQ at 14:12, because after everything else before that was fine.

Rating: C-. The match itself wasn’t good, but the heat did help a lot. At the same time, it’s rather clear that Hogan is going to win for America at Wrestlemania and Slaughter didn’t even get to look strong here. It was a long match and did feel important, but there was no hiding the fact that Slaughter was on borrowed time and everyone knew it even more this match.

Post match Slaughter and Adnan beat up Hogan and Duggan, allowing them to wave the Iraqi Flag. Slaughter leaves but forgets the title, with Adnan coming back to get it and….yep that’s going to be a beating for him. At least the American flag is waved. Wrestlemania was in 9 days so America would be avenged soon enough.

Duggan goes to a lumber yard to get some fresh 2x4s. And yes, the man who cuts his wood is named Woody. And yes, we watch the board be cut.

From Cedar Rapids, Iowa, April 16, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Smash

Mr. Fuji is here with Smash, who was mostly a singles wrestler at this point. They take their time to start, with Duggan of course knowing how to play to the crowd to keep them going. Smash backs him into the corner but gets clotheslined down a few times. The third sends him outside but he comes back in to take over on Duggan in the corner.

Some forearms in the corner set up a neck crank, followed by a legdrop for two. We’re back to the neck crank, which allows Duggan to fight up and slug away in the corner. That means Duggan gets to tell the referee to LAY OFF MY BACK, as was his custom. Fuji’s distraction doesn’t work and it’s the three point clothesline to finish Smash at 6:11.

Rating: C-. Well at least Duggan got the pin. It was just over Smash, who was kind of hanging around until he got something fresh at this point, but at least Duggan got the win. That’s not much of a focus on Duggan, but that’s oddly the case with a lot of these Coliseum Video profiles, which was always a weird way to go.

Mooney is lost but finds his way to the next match.

From Ft. Wayne, Indiana, October 30, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Queen Sherri, is challenging and this is a dark match from after the fourth Main Event. Warrior runs in, clotheslines him down, hits the usual, and it’s the gorilla press into the Warrior Splash to retain at 1:32. Warrior didn’t even have his face painted and commentary pointed out that something had to be wrong with Savage.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Ted DiBiase vs. Tugboat

Ok then. DiBiase tries to jump him to start but gets clotheslined outside instead. Back in and a rake to the eyes just makes Tugboat mad so he whips DiBiase into some corners. DiBiase needs a timeout on the floor and comes back in to get elbowed in the face. The elbow drop misses for Tugboat and DiBiase bails again, this time with Tugboat giving chase.

That goes as well as you would expect, with DiBiase catching him on the way back inside. Some choking has Tugboat down again and they go outside, with DiBiase choking against the barricade. Tugboat manages to post him and they go back inside for some splashes in the corner. DiBiase gets in a shot of his own and tries the Million Dollar Dream, which is broken up rather quickly. Tugboat misses a charge into the corner though and DiBiase gets a rollup for the clean pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. Another rather lame match as Tugboat is the biggest example of “I liked him when I was a kid but wow he does not hold up.” There’s just nothing to him here and DiBiase had nothing to work with, which is why they got out of there pretty quickly. The change to Typhoon would help, but there was only so much that Tugboat in any form was going to be able to do.

Mooney uses binoculars to see….the Tag Team Match Of The Month logo. Are we sure that’s not a Viewmaster?

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Power & Glory/Warlord vs. British Bulldog/Legion Of Doom

Slick is here with the villains. Hawk glares around a lot to start before punching Roma in the face a few times. The top rope clothesline misses though and Roma stomps away in the corner. Something resembling a dropkick sends Roma outside, where he actually takes over. Back in and Roma hits a much better looking dropkick but Hawk pops back up with a neckbreaker.

Animal and Warlord come in for the power off, with an exchange of shoulders going to a standoff. Animal’s flying clothesline (which almost goes over the head) drops Warlord and it’s off to Hercules for a clothesline of his own. Bulldog comes in and gets knocked down as well, with Warlord adding the elbow drops. Warlord ducks his head so Bulldog can get in a leapfrog but Roma cuts off a powerslam attempt. The villains take turns stomping on Bulldog until Warlord gets most of a full nelson. Bulldog starts to power out and everything breaks down….for a double DQ at 7:17.

Rating: D+. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Power & Glory were about to lose to the LOD in less than a minute at Wrestlemania but they can’t do a job here in a six man tag off a fluke rollup or something? After the rest of this wretched tape, you would think we could have one more actual win for the good guys but nah, let’s just keep doing weak stuff like this to wrap up the tape.

Mooney wraps it up and is driven away in a jeep (or tank, according to HHH), but isn’t pleased with his driver’s abilities. Yeah seriously that’s all they have for the big closing. You’re surprised?

Overall Rating: D. Piper vs. Perfect aside, this was one of the worst tapes I can remember coming from Coliseum Video. It’s one pitiful match after another with people not being able to take a pin for whatever reason, despite this being released months later. Some of these finishes actually had me getting mad, which came after seeing some of what we were watching (Roberts vs. Kato actually being booked is amazing in its own right). Absolutely horrible stuff here, though Piper vs. Perfect is definitely worth a look.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 1991
Date: January 19, 1991
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

It’s been a minute (or about eleven years) since I’ve done this show so we might as well take advantage of it being uploaded. It’s the height of the WWF using the Gulf War as a top story, which is why the evil Sgt. Slaughter is getting the WWF Title shot against the Ultimate Warrior. And there’s that whole Royal Rumble thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of a massive American flag because it’s going to be one of those shows. This takes us to the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video hypes up some potential Royal Rumble winner, though thankfully we do hear about the rest of the card.

Roddy Piper gives quite the promo about how much he cares for the military.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express (Tanaka/Kato version), who jump the Rockers to start but are quickly cleared out. The Rockers go up so Kato pulls Tanaka to the floor, meaning it’s time for stereo suicide dives (a really big spot back in the day). We settle down to Jannetty headlocking Kato down, which doesn’t last long.

Instead Kato takes him into the corner, where Jannetty’s leapfrog leaves the Express crashing into each other. Michaels comes in to start on the arm but Tanaka is back up with a leg lariat. The chinlock keeps Michaels down, which doesn’t last long either as he’s on his feet for the jumping knee. Now it’s Michaels grabbing his own chinlock, followed by a sleeper to mix it up a bit.

That doesn’t last very long and everything breaks down, with the Express actually getting the better of a do-see-do. The Rockers backflip out though and stereo dropkicks have the Express on the floor. The big planchas take them out again and it’s a double back elbow for two on Kato. Jannetty slaps on the chinlock for a bit before handing it back to Michaels, who is taken into the wrong corner.

The nerve hold goes on for a good while before a double clothesline gives Tanaka two. Michaels kicks Tanaka down so the Express tries to use their belt…which Michaels dives onto sent them into each other. See he’s not just good, but he’s smart. Jannetty comes in to clean house, even with some not great dropkicks.

Everything breaks down and Tanaka kicks Jannetty into a backslide for two as we slow back down. Michaels trips Kato down for two but Jannetty gets catapulted into a chop. Back up and the catapult is loaded up again but Michaels makes a save, allowing Jannetty to sunset flip Tanaka for the pin at 19:13.

Rating: B. Good stuff here, with the Rockers getting to show just how talented they really were. Their eventual split is what gets the attention but they could do some great stuff in the ring as well. It’s nice to see a match like this getting some time and it made for an awesome opener. Throw in the underrated Express getting their chance to showcase themselves and it made for a heck of an opener.

Randy Savage says he’s the best WWF Champion of all time and it’s time for Queen Sherri to bait the Ultimate Warrior into giving Savage a title shot.

We go to the arena where Gene Okerlund is on the platform with Sherri, who wants to challenge the Ultimate Warrior. She knows Sgt. Slaughter would give Randy Savage a title shot because he’s brave, but she’s not sure in Warrior’s case. Sherri calls Warrior out for a chat but he won’t say anything about the challenge. She then talks about his lips, chest and hair while walking around him.

With that not working, she opens his jacket and kneels before him, asking if Warrior will be honorable and a great champion by giving Savage a title shot. Warrior starts shaking and screams NO in her face and we cut to the back where Savage is livid and swears revenge. He runs into the arena but Warrior is gone. This segment has always been kind of cringey and that was the feeling again here.

Big Boss Man vs. Barbarian

This is part of Boss Man’s march through the Heenan Family (meaning Bobby Heenan is here too) to get revenge on Heenan himself. Barbarian bails to the floor to start and walks around a bit, getting inside for the lockup about 1:45 in. Boss Man boots him in the face and hits an elbow which has Barbarian out on the floor and Boss Man spinning in circles. You can criticize Boss Man about a few things, but in this era, he was never phoning it in.

Back in and Barbarian gets in a shot to go up top, only for Boss Man to knock him out of the air. A Cactus Clothesline sends Barbarian outside for another breather, with Boss Man rather fired up (shocking I know). Back in and Barbarian muscles him up with a suplex and hits a clothesline as commentary talks about how strong these two really are. Well, yeah, they’re power wrestlers.

They head outside, with Boss Man’s back being sent into the post to leave him down for a bit. Even Heenan can get in a few shots before Boss Man is sent inside for a bearhug. The comeback doesn’t last long as the bearhug goes right back on. Boss Man fights out again and manages a knockdown to get a bit of a break.

A clothesline gives Boss Man two as the foot is on the rope, meaning it’s a collision to leave them both down again. Barbarian gets up top for the clothesline but walks into the Boss Man Slam….for two, as he gets a hand on the rope. Boss Man is knocked back again so Barbarian goes up for a high crossbody, with Boss Man rolling through for the pin at 14:15.

Rating: C+. Boss Man was doing some of his best work around this point and it was interesting to see him face someone who could match him with power. This was just another step in the Heenan Family story for Boss Man and that’s not a bad way to go. The fans were behind him here and that isn’t a surprise given the effort he was putting in every time he was out there.

Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan promise to create even more turmoil. The people here need a leader and he will provide that, as Ultimate Warrior’s time as champion is no longer even measured in hours.

Ultimate Warrior isn’t so convinced.

WWF Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is challenging and Piper goes off about the love of the military again. A cheap shot with the flag pole doesn’t work as Warrior knocks Slaughter outside and rips up the Iraqi flag, sending Piper into overdrive. The flag is shoved into Slaughter’s mouth (that isn’t sanitary) and there’s his big bump over the corner.

Cue Sherri to watch at ringside as Warrior sends him back inside for the running shoulders. Sherri trips the leg so the chase is on, with Savage jumping Warrior near the entrance. A shot with a light stand leaves Warrior down and he takes his sweet time getting back to the ring. Thankfully Slaughter is smart enough to keep breaking up the count, as otherwise he can’t win the title.

Back in and Slaughter hits a backbreaker and spits on him before sending Warrior face first into the curled boot. A double clothesline gives them a double breather, with Slaughter popping up first…and falling right back down. Warrior gets up as well and walks right into a bearhug. That’s broken up so Slaughter drops him again, this time for the camel clutch. The feet are underneath the ropes though and Warrior starts another comeback, only to have to pull in the invading Sherri. Cue Savage with the scepter to shatter it over the Warrior’s head (because this referee is blind), giving Slaughter the pin and the title at 12:45.

Rating: C. They had to do it. Slaughter was the top heel in the company, but more importantly, Warrior just wasn’t clicking as champion. It was clear that there was nothing going on there and while you could put part of that on things beyond Warrior’s control (Hogan still being around), he wasn’t working in the spot. Yeah the result is there to set up Hogan triumphing for America, but what choice did they have?

Warrior chases after Savage and Slaughter is announced as champion, sending Monsoon and Piper into some awesome rants about how he didn’t earn it.

The Mountie vs. Koko B. Ware

Jimmy Hart is here with Mountie. They start slowly with Ware chasing him out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and Ware takes him down by the arm and cranks away, earning himself a right hand. Mountie avoids a charge and sends him out to the floor, followed by what looks like a claw back inside. Naturally Hart goes over to mock Frankie the bird, because Hart is amazing.

The piledriver is loaded up but Ware backdrops his way to freedom. Ware fights back and hits the missile dropkick (sticking the landing of course) but he makes the mistake of going after Hart. The distraction lets Mountie grab something like a chokeslam (uh, ok then) for the pin at 9:12.

Rating: C-. This was the filleriest of filler matches you could ask for, with pretty much nothing of note happening, saves for Ware’s always awesome dropkick. That being said, Hart yelling at Frankie was one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time, as Hart was always fine with looking goofy. Somehow, Mountie would be Intercontinental Champion a year later. The biggest surprise? The gimmick lasted for A YEAR.

Randy Savage isn’t sorry for costing Ultimate Warrior the title. Then he and Sherri run away at the sound of someone at the door.

Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan are proud of their victory because they told you so. Unlike the rest of the military, he has no boundaries. We must be in intermission.

Piper goes on another rant about Slaughter. If there was a February PPV, Piper getting a title shot would have been ALL the money.

Jake Roberts, Earthquake, Greg Valentine, the Texas Tornado, the Legion Of Doom, Undertaker (with Brother Love), Jim Duggan, Rick Martel, Mr. Perfect and Tugboat are ready for the Royal Rumble.

Roddy Piper doesn’t think much of Virgil being Ted DiBiase’s servant.

DiBiase says Virgil does everything for him for the almighty dollar. Virgil looks ready to kill him.

Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes

No polka dots for Dusty here. The villains are cleared out to start and DiBiase tells Virgil to go take them out. Back in and Dustin takes over on Virgil without much trouble, followed by a clothesline out to the floor. Virgil gets sent outside again and now DiBiase is willing to do it himself. That means taking over on Dustin, so it’s quickly off to Dusty for the elbows in the corner.

The sleeper has DiBiase in more trouble so Virgil has to make a save. Dustin comes back in and gets his knee taken out, allowing Virgil to actually take over for once. DiBiase wraps the knee around the post and it’s time for some double teaming…but Virgil clotheslines DiBiase by mistake. That’s too much for DiBiase, who beats Virgil up and sends him outside, only for Dusty to miss a charge and get rolled up (with trunks) for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C. The match was pretty much just a backdrop for Virgil finally having enough of DiBiase, to the point where it got physical between them. They had a great run but you had to do the turn at some point and this made sense. At the same time, this was pretty much it for Dusty and Dustin, with the former heading back to (kind of) run WCW, where he was much better suited.

Post match DiBiase berates Virgil again and orders him to put the Million Dollar Title around his waist. Instead, Virgil throws it down, with DiBiase telling him to pick it up. Virgil does so, and blasts him with the belt for the big turn and monster pop. And then after Wrestlemania, they never could follow up on it.

Hulk Hogan promises to win the Royal Rumble for the troops. We’re told that Sgt. Slaughter is planning to deface the American flag and you might as well just make Wrestlemania right now. Then Hogan forgets Sadaam Hussein’s name and the whole thing goes off the rails.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals and Bret Hart is in at #1 (second time in four years) and Dino Bravo is in at #2. Piper does his job as a commentator and makes sure to go over the rules (remember that this is only the third time with the 30 man variety so it was still pretty new) as Hart takes over with an early atomic drop. Bravo knocks him down and starts stomping away but misses the elbow as Greg Valentine is in at #3. Valentine goes after Bravo as we’re still in his bizarre face run. That works as well as…well as well as Valentine’s face turn, though he does toss Bravo out.

Hart goes to toss Valentine out but it’s Paul Roma in at #4 (with Slick running after him for a weird visual) to break it up. The three slug it out until Kerry Von Erich is in at #5, giving us a tag match which would leave Hart wondering what in the world he’s supposed to do. They pair off for a bit until Rick Martel is in at #6. That means more general brawling until Saba Simba is in at #7 to add some muscle.

Even more brawling ensues with no one even getting close to an elimination until Butch is in at #8. Martel dumps Simba to clear the ring out a bit and it’s Jake Roberts (who cannot stand Martel) in at #9 to go right after him to a huge reaction. The short arm clothesline sends Martel under the ropes to the floor, with Valentine cutting Roberts off on the way back inside. Roberts can’t quite knock Martel off the apron and it’s Hercules in at #10. That gives us Hart, Valentine, Roma, Von Erich, Martel, Butch, Roberts and Hercules for rather unique midcard lineup.

That means more standing around on the ropes and brawling until Tito Santana is in at #11. Roma misses a charge and crashes out to the floor and Von Erich grabs a Claw on I believe Hercules. Undertaker is in at #12 and immediately gets rid of Hart before doing the scary faced choking. Jimmy Snuka (with his crazy afro) is in at #13 and Undertaker tosses Butch as they’re doing a better job of keeping things moving. Davey Boy Smith is in at #14 and the ring is starting to get full.

There’s nothing else going on at the moment so we’ll stop to look at fans who realize they can get on TV near the front row, leaving the security guard to clear them out. There’s nothing in particular about these fans, but it’s talking about them or talking about Hercules and Von Erich in the Royal Rumble. Smash is in at #15 and the nothing continues. Roberts is tossed out and Hawk is in at #16, with a bunch of people going after him.

That’s broken up and it’s Shane Douglas (looking like Brian Pillman) in at #17. Von Erich and Snuka are out back to back and #18….is no one, as nobody comes through the curtain. More on this later so we’ll go with Undertaker hitting Smith low without doing much damage. The person who didn’t enter is officially eliminated and Animal is in at #19. The LOD gets rid of Undertaker but Hawk is thrown out as well, with Crush coming in at #20.

That gives us Valentine, Martel, Hercules, Santana, Bulldog, Smash, Douglas, Animal and Crush. Demolition double teams the Bulldog and Jim Duggan is in at #21. Animal’s bearhug on Martel doesn’t last long and it’s Earthquake in at #22. Animal fires off some running clotheslines but misses a charge and gets dumped. Mr. Perfect is in at #23 and takes a heck of a bump off Duggan’s whip into the corner. It might not make sense from a physics standpoint but it looked good. Duggan’s missed charge puts him out as well and none of that matters as Hulk Hogan is in at #24.

A bunch of people jump him but Smash is the first one out. Some right hands rock Earthquake but Perfect comes over to cut Hogan off. Smith makes a save of his own and it’s Haku in at #25. Hogan tosses Valentine to little fanfare after almost 45 minutes and Jim Neidhart is in at #26. Santana is out and Luke it in at #27, lasting a then record 4 seconds before marching right back to the back (and it’s still funny).

Brian Knobbs is in at #28 and things are slowing down a big. Hogan sends Perfect into the corner, likely jealous over Perfect wearing the yellow singlet. Knobbs actually tosses Hercules and it’s Warlord in at #29. Hogan tosses Crush and gets pummeled by Knobbs, with Perfect coming over to help. Perfect chops Warlord by mistake so Hogan is back over to go after Warlord as well. A clothesline gets rid of Warlord and it’s Tugboat to complete the field (meaning Randy Savage was #18 who didn’t show up, likely out of fear of the Ultimate Warrior).

We have a final grouping of Martel, Bulldog, Douglas, Earthquake, Perfect, Hogan, Haku, Neidhart, Knobbs and Tugboat, which isn’t exactly great. Douglas is tossed and Tugboat actually splashes Hogan in the corner, which is good for a toss to the apron. Back up and Hogan dumps Tugboat, which is actually deserved for once. Bulldog dropkicks Perfect out and Martel actually dumps Neidhart.

Bulldog backdrops Haku out as the ring is clearing in a hurry. That leaves us with five, as Martel goes up, which just seems dump. Bulldog crotches him on top and hits a clothesline, leaving us with Bulldog, Hogan, Earthquake and Knobbs. Earthquake and Knobbs get rid of Bulldog and Earthquake splashes Hogan, which means it’s time to celebrate.

The Earthquake crushes Hogan, who pops up and kicks Knobbs out without much trouble. The big boot drops Earthquake and Jimmy Hart’s interference is easily cut off. Hogan tries a slam but Earthquake falls on top of him and the big elbow crushes Hogan again. Earthquake powerslams Hogan, which triggers the Hulk Up. Hogan hits the slam and knocks him out to win at 1:05:18.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly a thrilling Rumble, but it was best known as the one where Brian Knobbs was there at the end. What else do you really need to know about it? The last two years have ended with Hogan facing a pair of villains. Last year it was Rick Rude and Mr. Perfect, while this year it was Earthquake and Knobbs. There were a few ok parts to the match, but Hogan had to win after the big soul crushing loss from Warrior. They were still figuring out the Rumble formula here and this didn’t work very well.

Hogan poses a lot, including holding a bunch of signs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It was not a good time for the WWF and this show was a good illustration of why. You had a good opener, but the rest of the show is just totally mediocre, with something of a transition from the Golden Era taking place. Things wouldn’t get much better anytime soon, though Savage vs. Warrior would be rather excellent. Unfortunately that didn’t happen here, as instead we got a bunch of matches which were just kind of there, plus the good opener. Skip this one, as you probably have.

Ratings Comparison

The Rockers vs. The Orient Express

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2026 Redo: B

Big Boss Man vs. Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: C
2026 Redo: C+

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C

The Mountie vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2026 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C

Royal Rumble

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2026 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C-

Geez and I thought I was being harsh on the show this time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Mega Matches
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Jimmy Hart, Honky Tonk Man, Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love
Host: Sean Mooney

It’s another Coliseum Video and that means exactly the usual: likely a bunch of nothing matches with one or two gems in there to spice it up a bit. Most of these tapes aren’t very good, but it’s still fun to revisit them and see just what was going on. This is from early 1991 so let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney, in the studio, welcomes us to the show and promises us some good matches.

Tito Santana is ready to show Earthquake what he can do. Arriba!

From Cape Girardeau, Missouri, October 10, 1990.

Tito Santana vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Santana tries a top wristlock and is shoved down just as fast. Earthquake powers him into the corner but misses a big forearm. That lets Santana work on the arm and actually take him down to one knee. Earthquake isn’t having that and grabs a slam but misses the big elbow.

Santana works on the arm again and is quickly sent into the corner so the slow beating can ensue. A bearhug keeps Santana in trouble, only for him to bite the head for an escape. The dropkick sets up the flying forearm for two, though Earthquake is rocked. Back up and the powerslam sets up the big elbow, followed by….well actually Tugboat coming in to go after Earthquake for the DQ at 7:41.

Rating: C. This could have been a lot worse, which isn’t a surprise as Santana can make almost anything work. Earthquake was the top heel in the company at this point and having him beat up someone like Santana was only going to help him. It might not have been a classic and there was only so much Santana could do, but at least it could have been a lot worse.

Post match the brawl is on until Dino Bravo and Rhythm And Blues run in for the beatdown. Jim Duggan, with his 2×4, makes the save. That’s quite the angle for a Coliseum Video and it worked rather well, with a pretty terrible six man tag being a possibility.

Big Boss Man is really not happy with Bobby Heenan insulting his mother. She’s one of his “prized possessions”, which has quite a few issues. Either way, Boss Man promises to beat some respect into Heenan.

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Big Boss Man vs. Bobby Heenan

This is a Ball And Chain match, with Boss Man bringing out the object in question. Before the match, Heenan begs for mercy and promises to send Boss Man’s mother a bunch of flowers. The bell rings and Heenan begs for forgiveness, saying he doesn’t know Boss Man’s mother and didn’t mean anything he’s been saying.

The groveling continues, with Heenan saying they both know he can’t fight Boss Man and says Boss Man’s mother is on the phone in the back. He begs for his life and tells Boss Man to go talk to his mother and he’ll wait right here. Boss Man doesn’t fall for that but Heenan hits him with the microphone. That’s the extent of his offense as Boss Man knocks him down and hits an ax handle for the pin at 2:40. Basically just an angle rather than a match.

Post match Boss Man drops the ball onto Heenan but Mr. Perfect runs in for the save. Boss Man dispatches him just as quickly. I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania.

It’s time for the fan requested match.

From Tampa, Florida, December 11, 1990.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jim Duggan

General Adnan is here with Slaughter, who jumps Duggan on the way in. Duggan fights back and slugs away, much to the fans’ delight. An elbow to the face drops Duggan though and Slaughter get sin his assortment of stomps. Some elbows miss though and Duggan hits a backdrop, only for Adnan to break up the three point clothesline. The chase is on and Duggan gets counted out at 3:06.

Rating: D. This was pretty much nothing, which was the point in having Duggan out there to pop the crowd while Slaughter doesn’t get the big win. Slaughter was on his way up, but there was only so much he could do in the ring. At the same time though, Slaughter was getting solid enough heat from the fans. I’m just not sure it was “top heel” level heat, which is why it didn’t go so well.

Post match Duggan clears Slaughter out and does inappropriate things with the Iraqi flag.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart tries a hiptoss to start but gets knocked down to start the slow beating. Barbarian sends him into the corner for some slow stomping but the middle rope elbow misses. Hart’s right hands in the corner set up the Russian legsweep and middle rope elbow for two. Back up and a quick powerslam gives Barbarian two and he blocks a sunset flip. As usual though, he strikes a double biceps pose and gets rolled up at 4:09 (these two did that finish A LOT).

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here but the finish was something that worked rather well for them. I’ve said this a lot Barbarian is someone who can’t do much in the way of variety, but he knows how to do his style rather well. That’s what we got here, and Hart gets to beat a midcard monster. They could do more with extra time, but there was only so much to be done in such a short match.

From Cape Girardeau, Missouri, October 10, 1990.

Bushwhackers vs. Rhythm And Blues

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains, who jump them to start fast. Back up and the villains are sent into each other and we settle down to Valentine getting in a clothesline to cut Luke off. Honky Tonk Man comes in to slowly hammer away and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Valentine comes in to knock Butch off the apron, meaning double teaming can ensue. They stomp on Luke even more until Butch grabs the guitar and runs in for the DQ at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was about what you would have expected, as neither team was exactly worth seeing on their best day (well at least in the WWF). As usual, the fans were into the Bushwhackers due to their usual wackiness. That only gets you so far though, especially with how little of it they actually did here.

Post match the Bushwhackers wreck the guitars.

From Providence, Rhodes Island, August 8, 1990.

Hulk Hogan vs. Dino Bravo

Earthquake and Jimmy Hart (in the rare no sunglasses look) are here too and yeah Hogan is still over (ignore the whole BIG RETURN at Summerslam later in the month). Big Boss Man comes out to be in Hogan’s corner and that should even things up a bit. Hayes says Boss Man can prevent the planned SKULLDUGGERY from the villains, earning his paycheck for the night.

They circle each other for a good while to start until Hogan shoves him into the corner, about two minutes into the match. Hogan cleans out the villains, showing that the Boss Man really doesn’t need to be here. Bravo works on a wristlock, which is reversed, but Earthquake gets in a cheap shot. That lets Bravo choke on the ropes and he sends Hogan outside, with Earthquake beating Hogan up again. Geez Boss Man is kind of terrible at this job. Back in and we hit the bearhug, which stays on for a good while until we get the two arm drops. Hogan fights out and it’s the usual stuff until the legdrop finishes Bravo at 8:25.

Rating: C-. You know what you’re going to get with a Hogan match around this time, though he did at least have a bit more energy with the stuff before the bell. At the same time, what are you expecting out of a big time match against someone like Bravo? Earthquake was right there as a monster, but Hogan fighting the less than intimidating monster was hardly thrilling.

Post match the villains comes in but Boss Man FINALLY does something by knocking Earthquake to the floor. Posing ensues.

Sean Mooney recaps the beginnings of Hillbilly Jim’s career before sending us to…Mudlick, Kentucky. Oh dear.

We go to Jim’s farm and now it’s time to look at some home movies. It’s the middle of winter and Jim invites us into the house, where Granny is watching an old WWF show. She’s a big Hulk Hogan fan but tells Jim to take his hat off. Jim is VERY excited about his first match so Granny stops for a drink of moonshine. Then Jim stops to play the guitar and sing, including a closeup of the family dog.

Jim goes over to light up a stove and put on his overhauls so he can demonstrate some holds on a tire (in the kitchen, of course). Then he drops an elbow on a stained mattress and goes after the dog, which brings Granny in to break it up. For some reason, I remember this from when I was a kid, even down to the dog.

Jim thanks us for watching and goes back to shoveling.

From New York City, New York, October 19, 1990.

British Bulldog vs. Haku

Joined in progress with Haku fighting up but getting taken back down by the arm. Bulldog misses a charge in the corner though and Haku hammers away. A crossbody and crucifix get Bulldog out of trouble but Haku grabs a hard piledriver for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by a knee to the ribs to cut off a comeback attempt.

We hit another chinlock before Bulldog is sent outside for a crash. Back in and Haku pulls the braided hair before grabbing another chinlock. Monsoon goes off on Haku’s lazy cover as only he can, with Hayes suggesting that Haku is hurt and Monsoon…thinks that’s a good observation. Bulldog suplexes his way out of trouble for two and they need some time to get up.

With Haku still down, Bulldog grabs a SHARPSHOOTER of all things (which is hard on someone wrestling barefoot) but Haku is in the ribs rather quickly. Haku’s shoulderbreaker gets two but he misses a charge into the corner. The powerslam finishes for Bulldog at 15:55 (out of 19:34 total).

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness that was a long match and that is going to hurt things. At the same time, Bulldog was pretty much brand new as a single star at this point after a stretch away from the company. It made for a dull match, but at least Bulldog won and the fans reacted, so something went right.

Mooney’s clothes are getting messed up due to….well they needed something. Then he picks up a giant crayon. Are his clothes too big because everything is large on MEGA Matches? Geez that’s stretching even for around here.

Randy Savage, with Sensational Sherri, brags about his greatness and is ready to prove what he can do again.

From New York City, New York, October 28, 1989.

Randy Savage vs. Jim Duggan

Macho King’s Crown is on the line so Queen Sherri is with him. Duggan slugs away in the corner to start and drops him with a clothesline, which has Sherri trying to get Savage out. Instead Duggan gives him a big atomic drop but Sherri low bridges Duggan outside. Can you imagine Elizabeth doing that? Of course not, which is why Savage made the right switch. Sherri even gets in a posting and a purse shot as this referee is even worse than usual.

Savage goes after Duggan, which is enough to distract the referee so Sherri can kick Duggan in the face. Monsoon is rightfully losing it as Savage goes out to the apron for another shot to the face. A top rope ax handle hits Duggan for two back inside, followed by the top rope neck snap across the top for the same. The running crotch attack in the ropes misses though and Duggan has a breather.

Duggan is fine enough to knock Savage out of the air and then send him outside as the comeback is on. Savage is sent into various things and Duggan drops him inside again, only for Sherri to distract the referee. Duggan yells at her and runs Savage over again but Savage comes back with a clothesline out of the corner. The top rope elbow misses though and Duggan hits some clotheslines of his own.

The three point clothesline sends Savage crashing to the floor, where Sherri rakes Duggan’s back. This time Sherri is sent outside for some grabbing, allowing Savage to knee Duggan into the referee in the corner. Duggan small package gets no count as there’s no referee so he clotheslines Savage down again and counts his own three.

Sherri uses the distraction to hand Savage the loaded purse and Duggan is knocked cold for….the…..any day now…..one….two….and Duggan kicks out, thankfully as otherwise he would have been legally dead. Duggan pulls him down in the corner but Savage puts his feet on the ropes, with Sherri holding the legs for ANOTHER ridiculously slow count and the pin at 17:01.

Rating: B-. Duggan winning wasn’t the most likely result here, but dang it’s easy to get behind pretty much anything he’s doing. He’s one of the best good guys from this era, even if he was limited in the ring to say the least. That being said, the ref bump and slow counts at the end were ridiculous and killed the flow they had going. These two did have chemistry though, which shouldn’t be a surprise given how amazing Savage was at this point.

Post match Duggan decks Savage with a 2×4.

Savage and Sherri are on Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous, with Savage cheating to win at croquet. That’s a very Savage thing to do.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

In a cage, Sherri is with Savage, and this is two days after Savage cost Warrior the WWF Title at Wrestlemania. Savage tries to jump Warrior during his entrance and the brawl is on outside. They get inside with Warrior taking over, including an atomic drop and the big right hands. Sherri offers a distraction, which just earns Savage another clothesline. Back up and Savage manages to send him into the cage for a needed breather.

Warriors gets up and they both hit clotheslines to leave them down again. Savage covers for a delayed two (as the referee has to climb in before counting) but Warrior blocks a ram into the cage. Sherri’s distraction lets Savage ram him in though and it’s time to choke. Some more choking on the ropes has Warrior in trouble and the top rope elbow gets two, with Savage FLYING off the kickout.

Warrior makes the big comeback but the splash hits raised knees. Savage tries to escape and gets most of the way there, only to forget about the “jump three feet” option, allowing Warrior to make the save. Sherri decks the referee and goes inside to cut Warrior off. Some choking with her removed top lets Savage get out for the win at 10:34.

Rating: B-. Yeah they beat each other up rather well and it made for a good match, though I was expecting Warrior to be a bit more aggressive and livid after what happened two days ago. That could have been better, but it was nice to see Savage win this kind of a match, even with shenanigans. Otherwise, it was a good, back and forth fight, which felt like a main event.

Post match we’re clipped to Savage going to the top of the cage but getting punched out of the air. Warrior fights back and unloads on Savage, even shoving some referees as a bonus. The Nasty Boys come in to try to hold Warrior back, which doesn’t work either. More referees come in and Sherri gets in a scepter shot to FINALLY allow Savage to get out. So Sherri is tougher than the Nasty Boys. That fits. Warrior catches Sherri alone in the cage though and drops her with the gorilla press. Now that was a lot more like it with the aggression and Warrior looked like a monster.

Mooney’s copy of the tape and comb are now huge too. This was dumb. Again.

Overall Rating: C-. There were a few good matches near the end, but the majority of this tape was far from interesting. The “everything is big” deal made it even worse, as you had that between Bravo vs. Hogan and a heck of a lot of Jim Duggan. Granted that was one of the best matches on the whole thing, which was likely more due to Savage and Sherri. It’s not the worst tape, but you shouldn’t spend two hours hoping that things are going to get better.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a show that almost no one remembers other than one match. The main event is Hogan/Warrior vs. Slaughter/Adnan/Mustafa, which would have been a much better match a few months ago when Slaughter was still a threat. Other than that we have the wedding of Savage and Miss Elizabeth who reunited at Wrestlemania VII in one of the best moments in company history. Let’s get to it.

We open with Savage in the back getting ready while Alfred Hayes asks him questions. Savage says that he’s ready and in the danger zone, but HAYES’ TIE IS CROOKED. “NOW YOU’RE OK AND IT’S TIME TO GO CHECK MY BABY BLUE EYES!”

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.

Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Mr. Perfect says he’s an awesome champion.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”

Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.

Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD comes out for the save. This was Andre’s last appearance for the company.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA World Title to issue a challenge. “Hogan” (you never see him) opens the door and slams it in Heenan’s face. For the life of me I can’t get over seeing that belt in the WWF.

Virgil recaps his feud with DiBiase. You’re probably familiar with this one: Virgil was his bodyguard for years but at the Rumble, DiBiase pushed him just once too often and Virgil snapped. DiBiase lost to Virgil via countout at Wrestlemania and tonight it’s a rematch with the Million Dollar Title on the line.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.

Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

DiBiase goes on a huge rant about the title, saying that Virgil stole it and he’ll get it back.

Bret says this is the best day of his career and he waited a long time to prove how great he is. I’m pretty sure we’re in intermission.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Boss Man asks Sean Mooney what kind of bird can’t fly. A jailbird of course. He brags about winning a bit more.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, here’s the phone number again, complete with a countdown clock for a five minute intermission. Seriously they just count down five minutes of dead air time. AND THIS WAS ON THE HOME VIDEO.

Mountie arrives at the jail and shouts that the cops can’t do this to him because HE’S THE MOUNTIE! He tries to read the cops their rights and gets thrown in a cell.

Jimmy Hart is panicking while his Nasty Boys are read for the LOD. It’s a street fight later tonight.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

The Legion of Doom wants the tag titles. Hawk says once they win the belts they’re going to chew up the Natural Disasters and spit them out “like the tartar that sticks to your teeth.”

Mountie yells about having being fingerprinted. These bits are so overblown that they’re hilarious.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Sid Justice, the referee for the main event tonight, says that he’ll call it down the middle. Gene shows us a video of Slaughter and company offering Sid a spot on the team but Sid says they stopped him but he turned them down.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Uh…..sure. Feeling out process to start so Gorilla recaps the show so far. Valentine takes over with a quick shoulder block and a clothesline. Somehow we’re nearly two minutes into the match with this much action. IRS rolls to the floor as Gorilla says Undertaker and Jake Roberts might be here. Back in and Valentine slams him down, sending IRS right back to the floor.

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it had no business being on a pay per view. This would be the equivalent of the Divas match on a modern show to give the fans a breather between the big matches. Valentine was long past his point of being a star but he could still put people over like he did here.

Buy Hulk Hogan’s PPV, which is a Best of Hogan show. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

The ring is set up like a chapel for the wedding. Savage comes out in a shiny tux with a big feather on his hat. Heenan: “Why is the second most important guy called the best man?” From what I’ve read this is a legit renewal of vows as the two were already married in real life. There isn’t much to say here other than it’s a wedding and no one interrupts it. This takes like ten minutes.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

First off, “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” Savage freaks out as only he can as you would think he just got the WWF Title instead of a blender. Liz goes to open a present…..and there’s a cobra inside. She freaks out and Savage tries to pull her back, but Undertaker comes in and bashes him in the head with the urn. Jake Roberts comes in and holds the cobra in front of Liz’s face until Sid makes the save with a chair to end the show. This would set up Roberts vs. Savage in the feud of the year which resulted in Undertaker’s face turn.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show in that the first half is a much higher quality than the second half. The second half has all predictable matches where the winners were never in doubt, but that doesn’t exactly make it terrible. The show is definitely entertaining and set up a lot of stuff down the road while launching Bret Hart up to the next level. It’s worth a watch if you can find it in full but I wouldn’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Supertape 4
Host: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Bobby Heenan

It’s time for another in this series and that could mean just about anything, as this series likes to stretch the definition of “super”. You never know what you’re going to get on this thing, though I’d assume on some wrestling from the WWF. Other than that, it could be quite the variety of quality so let’s get to it.

This is presented in the most complete form, which is a weird thing for a home video.

Opening sequence, which is likely just a preview of what we’ll be seeing.

Sean Mooney is tasked with delivering the master tape of Supertape 4 to Coliseum Video and he has a cooler, van, driver and tour guide. The van is labeled with a piece of paper and the driver is Lord Alfred Hayes…who doesn’t let the food or driver inside. Hayes already doesn’t know where they’re going but the cooler is left outside.

Mr. Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, has the Intercontinental Title back and insists he is perfect enough to beat the Texas Tornado.

From West Palm Beach, Florida, December 12, 1990.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Perfect, without Heenan, is defending. Tornado tries to slug away to start but takes too long taking off his robe, allowing Perfect to knock him outside. Tornado pulls him outside as well and gets in some shots of his own before throwing Perfect back inside. That means Tornado can throw him right back outside, as Tornado doesn’t have the clearest strategy. Back in (again) and Tornado hammers away before grabbing the Claw…on the stomach. With that broken up, Perfect grabs the sleeper until Tornado powers into the corner.

Tornado misses a charge into the post though and Perfect pulls a turnbuckle pad off. A quick Tornado Punch sends Perfect outside but another one hits the post by mistake. Back in and Perfect sends him into the post for two but the PerfectPlex only gets two. Tornado gets the Claw so Perfect pulls the referee in, only for the Tornado Punch to connect for a delayed near fall. Back up and Tornado hits another Tornado Punch….but NOW the referee calls for the DQ at 7:45. What a ridiculous ending.

Rating: C-. Perfect was trying here but there is only so much that can be done when Tornado is in this kind of shape. Tornado was clearly not right out there, which was becoming an issue more and more frequently. The guy looked great, but it didn’t matter if he couldn’t have a coherent match most of the time. Throw in a screwy ending and there was only so much to be done with this.

Post match Tornado sends him into the exposed buckle for the big spinning sell.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Koko B. Ware vs. Tito Santana

This is a very rare face vs. face match and even Heenan thinks this will be good. They shake hands and then go to a lockup to start, with Heenan saying that his Family could have a better match. An armdrag takes Ware down and Santana does it again as they’re certainly in first gear so far. Santana snapmares his way out of a hammerlock and actually suggests a hair pull. A shoulder block into an armdrag puts Ware down and they seem to be getting a big agitated.

We get an exchange of shoves (Heenan: “I LIKE IT!”) before Ware punches him in the face as things get a lot more aggressive. They go outside where Ware sends him into the post before going back inside to hammer away. Ware slugs him down and drops an elbow for two, setting up the nerve hold. Some snap jabs have Heenan rather pleased, with Mooney thinking Ware might belong in the Heenan Family. The top rope fist drop misses though and Santana makes the comeback. They both miss clotheslines but Santana hits the flying forearm for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was so strange to see and oddly enough, it worked well. Ware knows how to work this style and Santana is as good of a face as you’ll find, but dang this does doesn’t feel right in the WWF. I’ll take something going this way for a change though, as it was cool to see a fresh take on a match instead of more of the same.

Believe it or not, Hayes is lost.

We look at wrestlers who have gone from wrestling to broadcasting (From The Mat To The Mike), including Gorilla Monsoon, who talks about making the transition and promises to be around more often.

Roddy Piper gets a look as well and insists he is NOT retired. He makes some jokes about Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper before saying it’s better to not get beaten up.

We also have Gene Okerlund, which is an excuse to show his match with Hulk Hogan against Mr. Fuji and George Steele.

Finally Randy Savage talks about going against the best of all time and giving everything he had. Naturally he’s as intense as a broadcaster as he was as a wrestler.

The van has engine trouble.

From West Palm Beach, Florida, December 12, 1990.

Undertaker vs. Tugboat

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning someone actually requested to see it. We’re VERY early in Undertaker’s time as he still has Brother Love as his manager. Undertaker slugs away to little effect as Tugboat shoves him back. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere so Undertaker tries a leapfrog but Tugboat just stops, resulting in a knee to the head instead.

Back up and Tugboat elbows him down, which is quite the big deal for Undertaker at this point. Another elbow drops Undertaker but Tugboat misses the elbow drop. Undertaker hammers away but misses a charge in the corner, with Tugboat falling down as he tries a slam. Some shots to the back have Tugboat down again but he’s back up with a powerslam. A kick to the face rocks Undertaker again but Tugboat misses a charge in the corner. Undertaker’s top rope forearm to the chest is good for the pin at 5:43. Mooney: “What a great match this turned out to be!” LIAR!

Rating: D. I was a fan when I was a kid but my goodness Tugboat was HORRIBLE. He was big, he was slow, and those are his good points. Other than that, Tugboat just did not have anything to offer in the ring and that was on display here. Things would get a bit better when he would turn into Typhoon, but this was not a good time for him whatsoever.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Shawn Michaels vs. Crush

Marty Jannetty and Mr. Fuji are here too. Crush pounds away to start and blocks a sunset flip. Michaels hammers back and hits a flying shoulder but the kickout sends him flying outside. Back in and Michaels goes simple with a front facelock, which Crush powers into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

A torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker keeps Michaels in trouble, followed by the required bearhug. With that broken up, Crush switches over to a bodyscissors but misses a top rope knee drop to leave them both down. Fuji gets on the apron as Crush catches Michaels, only for Jannetty to add a high crossbody to knock Michaels onto Crush for the pin at 7:19.

Rating: C+. Crush was little more than a monster for Michaels to slay here, as you could see Michaels’ singles star power trying to break through. That’s a great sign for his future and he is getting better before your eyes at this point. It’s no surprise that he is getting this kind of a singles push and it was working well enough.

Hayes and Mooney work on the van, with Hayes using Mooney’s jacket to clean up. They know the problem….but don’t know how to fix it.

From Huntsville, Alabama, January 7, 1991.

Mr. Fuji/Orient Express vs. Legion Of Doom

For some reason Fuji starts for the team but then switches out with Kato, while also playing pass the salt. Animal shoves Kato around and then does it again for a bonus. With that not working, Kato slaps him in the face and gets a chase going, allowing Kato to strike away back inside. Tanaka comes in and gets knocked down, where it’s time for a meeting with his cohorts.

Back in and Tanaka teases going after Hawk, who growls him away. Hawk fights off a double teaming and Kato bails out to the floor, where Animal picks him up for a gorilla press toss back inside. A running clothesline puts Kato on the floor again though and Animal clotheslines him there as well.

This isn’t going so well for him at the moment. Animal runs Tanaka over so Kato offers a distraction, with the salt to the eyes taking Animal down. That has Animal in trouble for all of a few seconds before he clotheslines his way to freedom. Hawk comes back in clean house and the Doomsday Device finishes Kato at 8:00.

Rating: C-. There was only so much you could get out of this kind of a match and there was no way around it. The LOD more or less squashed them here, with even the salt not being able to do much. That was part of the problem with the LOD: you could only put so many teams against them and that was the case at this point, as they didn’t have much in the way of competition.

And now, Gourmet Cooking Tips with the Bushwhackers. We start with a salad, which is thrown everywhere, then the mashed potatoes, which has a special ingredient, then broccoli, which results in bodily function jokes, and then walnut surprise cake, which is shoved into faces. We also get a flashback to Gene Okerlund becoming a Bushwhacker in the first Supertape thanks to some Bushwhacker Buzzard. Back in the kitchen, an apple goes into Okerlund’s mouth and the Bushwhackers want him for dinner. This was about ten minutes of not funny.

Hayes says he knows a good repairman and Mooney shows us to a profile on the Big Boss Man.

Boss Man talks about being the law and order around here and promises us three matches.

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, September 16, 1990.

Earthquake vs. Big Boss Man

Jimmy Hart is here (minus the megaphone for some reason) with the non-Canadian Earthquake. They take their time circling each other to start and finally lock up, with Earthquake shoving him hard into the corner. For some reason Hayes finds this hilarious, though it might be Earthquake doing the posing. Back in and Boss Man does his weird bouncing headlock before punching him into the corner.

Boss Man gets powered into the corner but knocks Earthquake down, followed by chasing Hart around the ring. Earthquake misses a charge into the corner and gets low bridged down for two, only for Earthquake to hit him in the throat. Boss Man gets sent into the corner so Earthquake can sit on him, which doesn’t go well.

Back up Earthquake wins a slugout and an atomic drop has Boss Man in more trouble. Boss Man gets up with a shot to the back of the head and a kick to drop Earthquake, setting up the running clotheslines. That means Earthquake gets tied up in the ropes, but Boss Man goes after Hart and an invading Dino Bravo. Earthquake gets out and hits him in the back, setting up a big elbow for the pin at 10:04.

Rating: C+. I liked the match, but it’s a bit weird to see Boss Man losing in a match designed to be part of his profile. That being said, it was a good brawl, as Boss Man was always good at slugging it out at someone bigger than him. It worked very well against Vader and this was a similar enough idea.

Post match Earthquake goes after him again but Tugboat makes the save.

From Syracuse, New York, November 20, 1990.

Bobby Heenan vs. Big Boss Man

So Heenan has spent weeks insulting Boss Man’s mother so it’s time for payback. Before the match, Heenan brings out a Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy (that’s worth some cash these days) as a gift to Boss Man’s mother, along with roses that he has already sent to her. Boss Man comes to the ring and shoves the wrestling buddy into his face. Heenan gets in a shot with the microphone so Boss Man hits him with the nightstick for the win at 31 seconds.

Post match Haku comes in and gets beaten down just as fast. Boss Man handcuffs them together but Mr. Perfect runs in to go after Boss Man as the other two leave. That’s broken up as well and Boss Man clears the ring, with Mooney declaring it a “great matchup.” Again, LIAR!

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, November 25, 1990 (I believe, as I’ve seen multiple dates and locations for this one).

The Barbarian vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man slugs away to start and hits a big boot, followed by a running elbow to send him outside. Back in and Barbarian strikes away for a change, only to get clotheslined out to the floor. Barbarian gets back in but has a big boot blocked, allowing Boss Man to hit the running crotch attack against the back. That doesn’t last long as Barbarian knocks him down for some ax handles to the back.

The bearhug goes on for a good while but Barbarian lets it go. The middle rope elbow misses for Barbarian though and they slug it out, with Boss Man doing his always rather awesome “out on his feet” selling. Boss Man kicks him in the head and grabs a hot shot for two but can’t hit a piledriver. Instead Barbarian backdrops him down…and right into a sunset flip to give Boss Man the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C. There is something cool about the way Boss Man sells and it was working again here. At the same time, Barbarian continues to be the perfect choice for a spot like this as he can make someone like Boss Man work but doesn’t lose any status whatsoever in defeat. This wasn’t anything special, but it could have been far worse.

Post match Haku runs in to help Barbarian with the double team. And no one makes the save. What a great way to wrap up a profile.

Mooney pulls up his pants to cross a stream. Hayes uses the footbridge about twenty feet away, which Mooney somehow didn’t notice.

From Huntsville, Alabama, January 7, 1991.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is challenging. They take their time to start until Slaughter takes him into the corner and chokes/kicks/hammers away. Warrior kicks right back though and a right hand sends Slaughter over the top, with his massive chin getting caught on the bottom rope (that’s a new one). Back in and Slaughter gets knocked out to the floor again, this time allowing Warrior to send him back inside for the hard chops.

Slaughter manages to knock him outside and send him into the timekeeper’s table before hammering away back inside. A catapult into the corner gives Warrior a breather though and a double clothesline puts both of them down. Slaughter grabs a backbreaker for two and puts on the camel clutch, with Warrior getting to the ropes for the break. Warrior Warriors Up, hits a flying shoulder and drops the splash to retain at 9:57.

Rating: C. Yeah you could only expect so much out of a match like this, as it was a dark match from a TV taping to send the fans home happy. The problem with that is there was only so much joy to be found in a Warrior match. He was mere days away from losing the title to Slaughter, so it was almost weird to seeing him win clean like this.

Mooney and Hayes realize they’re walking around in circles. Hayes walks off on his own, presumably leaving Mooney to die in the woods.

Overall Rating: C-. These compilations can be a lot of fun, but at the same time, they can also be rather dreadful. Unfortunately the latter was the case here, as nothing on here was worth seeing, with even the profile on Boss Man only being so good. Total waste of a tape, which fits the era rather well.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a show that almost no one remembers other than one match. The main event is Hogan/Warrior vs. Slaughter/Adnan/Mustafa, which would have been a much better match a few months ago when Slaughter was still a threat. Other than that we have the wedding of Savage and Miss Elizabeth who reunited at Wrestlemania VII in one of the best moments in company history. Let’s get to it.

We open with Savage in the back getting ready while Alfred Hayes asks him questions. Savage says that he’s ready and in the danger zone, but HAYES’ TIE IS CROOKED. “NOW YOU’RE OK AND IT’S TIME TO GO CHECK MY BABY BLUE EYES!”

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.

Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Mr. Perfect says he’s an awesome champion.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”

Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.

Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD comes out for the save. This was Andre’s last appearance for the company.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA World Title to issue a challenge. “Hogan” (you never see him) opens the door and slams it in Heenan’s face. For the life of me I can’t get over seeing that belt in the WWF.

Virgil recaps his feud with DiBiase. You’re probably familiar with this one: Virgil was his bodyguard for years but at the Rumble, DiBiase pushed him just once too often and Virgil snapped. DiBiase lost to Virgil via countout at Wrestlemania and tonight it’s a rematch with the Million Dollar Title on the line.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.

Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

DiBiase goes on a huge rant about the title, saying that Virgil stole it and he’ll get it back.

Bret says this is the best day of his career and he waited a long time to prove how great he is. I’m pretty sure we’re in intermission.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Boss Man asks Sean Mooney what kind of bird can’t fly. A jailbird of course. He brags about winning a bit more.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, here’s the phone number again, complete with a countdown clock for a five minute intermission. Seriously they just count down five minutes of dead air time. AND THIS WAS ON THE HOME VIDEO.

Mountie arrives at the jail and shouts that the cops can’t do this to him because HE’S THE MOUNTIE! He tries to read the cops their rights and gets thrown in a cell.

Jimmy Hart is panicking while his Nasty Boys are read for the LOD. It’s a street fight later tonight.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

The Legion of Doom wants the tag titles. Hawk says once they win the belts they’re going to chew up the Natural Disasters and spit them out “like the tartar that sticks to your teeth.”

Mountie yells about having being fingerprinted. These bits are so overblown that they’re hilarious.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Sid Justice, the referee for the main event tonight, says that he’ll call it down the middle. Gene shows us a video of Slaughter and company offering Sid a spot on the team but Sid says they stopped him but he turned them down.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Uh…..sure. Feeling out process to start so Gorilla recaps the show so far. Valentine takes over with a quick shoulder block and a clothesline. Somehow we’re nearly two minutes into the match with this much action. IRS rolls to the floor as Gorilla says Undertaker and Jake Roberts might be here. Back in and Valentine slams him down, sending IRS right back to the floor.

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it had no business being on a pay per view. This would be the equivalent of the Divas match on a modern show to give the fans a breather between the big matches. Valentine was long past his point of being a star but he could still put people over like he did here.

Buy Hulk Hogan’s PPV, which is a Best of Hogan show. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

The ring is set up like a chapel for the wedding. Savage comes out in a shiny tux with a big feather on his hat. Heenan: “Why is the second most important guy called the best man?” From what I’ve read this is a legit renewal of vows as the two were already married in real life. There isn’t much to say here other than it’s a wedding and no one interrupts it. This takes like ten minutes.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

First off, “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” Savage freaks out as only he can as you would think he just got the WWF Title instead of a blender. Liz goes to open a present…..and there’s a cobra inside. She freaks out and Savage tries to pull her back, but Undertaker comes in and bashes him in the head with the urn. Jake Roberts comes in and holds the cobra in front of Liz’s face until Sid makes the save with a chair to end the show. This would set up Roberts vs. Savage in the feud of the year which resulted in Undertaker’s face turn.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show in that the first half is a much higher quality than the second half. The second half has all predictable matches where the winners were never in doubt, but that doesn’t exactly make it terrible. The show is definitely entertaining and set up a lot of stuff down the road while launching Bret Hart up to the next level. It’s worth a watch if you can find it in full but I wouldn’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Obviously it’s a year later and there’s few differences. The main one is that Hogan is once again the world champion (stunning isn’t it?) and the Deadman has arrived. Other than that, there are very few differences. Hart is a singles wrestler now, so that’s the last major difference that I was forgetting. This card is really forgotten over time if you look at it from an historical standpoint.

The main event is Hogan and Warrior against Slaughter and his two cronies in a handicap match, meaning that Sheik Adnan al-Kaissie and the Iron Sheik are supposed to be equal to Hogan or Warrior? Remember Adnan? Neither do I. He was a manager in the AWA and that’s about it. The other big deal is tonight is the marriage of Savage and Elizabeth, because marriage, the most holy of unions, has to be on PPV right???

Other than that, this card is really forgettable. The main interesting point in this is what the Warrior did. He allegedly threatened to no show the PPV unless Vince paid him some obscene amount. He pulled this a few days before the PPV, and Vince really had no choice but to do what Warrior said.

This is where the “I couldn’t wait to fire him” line came from. Warrior got to the back after the match and was fired immediately. Other than that, there’s next to nothing of interest here, but I’ve seen worse cards be watchable, so maybe this one will be as well. Let’s find out.

Very standard opening with the song playing and the announcers talking about the big stuff that evening. Standard, but fine I guess.

Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just called the Dragon here, and this is the famous scene where he’s dressed as a human lizard that breathes fire into the air. That’s a shame that he’s fallen this far this fast. He’d be back in WCW in just a few months where he was at least given some decent feuds and no stupid costume. Commentators completely ignore the match to talk about the matches later on in the show. Wait, they mentioned the six man.

You know I think these six…no it was just a quick thing about it. I feel like I’m watching a Nitro taping. Tornado comes in and all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about the match. I think that’s a bit of a shot at Steamboat by Vince. Literally, he was in there two and a half minutes and got one line about him. He leaves and the commentary is all about the match. We’re about 5 minutes into this and I’m still looking for a point to it.

I think it’s supposed to be Warlord vs. Bulldog, but I’m not sure really. It’s just a random group of faces vs. three heels with the same manager. I’m so utterly bored by this match that I can’t actually think of the words to explain it. It is just so standard and basic that I could see it at an FCW show. The wrestling is fine, but there’s no thought here at all. Faces win.

Rating: D. This was just so boring. Like I said, the wrestling was fine, but dang it was just there. There’s no thought, no story, no reason for this to take place. It’s an ok opener, but I would have wanted to see anything else.

Hey kids! Call this number if you want to hear a prerecorded comment from Savage or Liz about their fake wedding! Your parents won’t mind!

Mr. Perfect says he’s a great champion.

IC Title: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Dang this was on second? This is by far and away the best match on the card and a lot of people, including Norcal, says that it’s one of the best matches ever. These two had such a magnificent chemistry together and it’s hardly ever been topped. I defy you to find a better pair of guys to have such consistent matches with. Stu and Helen are there…again. Has there ever been a match with Bret that they haven’t been at?

You don’t see them at Owen’s matches. No wonder Owen was the bitter one. Coach is there with Perfect, and sadly enough his death got NO coverage due to Misawa dying a day later. They start with a great set of back and forth stuff with no one being able to get an advantage. It’s one of those types of openings where you have a guy in control but he’s not dominating at all. Hart does that here by just having on a basic headlock.

Heenan continues to show why he’s as important as anyone on the roster as his lines about Bret’s parents make you want to cheer for Bret more than anyone else could. Perfect gets his singlet literally ripped apart by Hart which makes him look almost crazed about the match. He looks like he’s in a war despite this having been going about 7 minutes at this point. This is a great dynamic for a match as you have the young lion Bret facing the established veteran in Perfect, who has the exact same style.

Crowd is way into this one too, which is making it better. Perfect’s hair looks like he got a bad shock as his perm has practically exploded. He takes over though as Heenan is singing his praises. We get a hair toss, which isn’t something that you see that often in a men’s match. That would hurt like heck too. Imagine being tossed by your hair. If that’s going to happen to me I better be getting paid for it. There’s a good story playing out here as Perfect counters everything that Hart has.

Hart kicks out of the Perfect Plex as the fans and Heenan lose their minds. Heenan says that no one has ever done that, which is ridiculous as Warrior did it in 1990. Hart brings up the original 5 moves of doom to put Perfect in “a whole heap of trouble.” Coach breaks this up though so Perfect has control again. He drops a let between Bret’s legs and backflips out of it which is cool looking.

He does it again, and in one of the SWEETEST counters I’ve ever seen, Bret grabs his leg, puts the Sharpshooter on him on the mat from his back, spins him over and then pulls back on it for the tap out. That was freaking sweet. Bret runs over to his family to celebrate. We get to hear Stu’s voice, which I never recall hearing other than this.

Rating: A+. These guys were spot on the whole time. It was a nearly 20 minute match and I didn’t see a single botch or anything resembling a botch at all. That counter at the end was absolute perfection and it played so well into the rest of the match. These two had so much chemistry they might as well be a magnet high school. Great match all around.

Hulk Hogan has a special PPV coming up, which is nothing but his “biggest” matches. Forerunner to 24/7 I guess.

We cut to the back to see the Bushwackers and Andre the Giant, which has to the weirdest pairing of all time. Andre was completely gone at this point with big crutches holding him up. This is explained by Earthquake being the guy that injured him. This was his last major WWF appearance save for popping up at a battle royal in London a few months later, which wasn’t televised until on 24/7 and some special releases.

Bushwackers vs. Natural Disasters

It’s so sad to see the Bushwackers have to walk so slow to let Andre keep up with them. He just didn’t need to be out there at this point but you can see it in his eyes that he’s having a ball out there. His love for the business was so obvious and it’s a shame he wasn’t around for the big boom in the 90s, at least to see it if nothing else. Now in case you’re an idiot and can’t figure it out, this is a comedy match.

GREAT line by Piper. Heenan says if he were the manager of the Bushwackers he’s kill himself. Piper says go apply for the job. Piper was a freaking riot when he didn’t like someone. To further make this stupid, the Bushwackers beat them up to start. Can someone explain to me why this makes sense? Piper says that two guys from New Zealand are Americana personified. He can be a riot but he can also be a moron.

Heenan with a Larry, Darryl and Darryl joke to take the lead in the best commentator of the night race. Andre continues to point and grunt about various things. Heenan leaves to interview Hogan as the ND finally take control and the match gets boring in a hurry. Did the Wackers EVER do anything of note? I can’t remember anything.

Anyway, as expected, this ends with a Bushwacker, the one that licked me at a house show, getting pinned. Afterwards the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD run out for the save and the showdown that I’m not sure ever occurred.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match. What do you really expect here? It was however, pretty short so it could have been far, far worse.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA title to continue what should have been the biggest showdown of all time, but they somehow screwed it up. Heenan’s unveiling of the NWA Big Gold Belt in 91 still ranks in my top five most awesome moments in wrestling history. Hogan (never seen or heard) slams the door in his face.

More Savage/Liz phone line ads. Macho is shown on the phone line. This is just stupid.
DiBiase and Mooney recap the Virgil/DiBiase history. As bad as Virgil was, this match was actually kind of epic as the pop for Virgil finally turning was pretty big. This is the rematch from Mania 7 where Virgil won by countout.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

The wrestling here isn’t the appeal. Virgil has had very few matches at this point while DiBiase is one of the best in ring workers of all time. Surprisingly enough, DiBiase dominates early on. It’s pretty basic with punches and kicks with a roll-up here or there. There’s just not a lot to say about the first half of this match. Both guys are going pretty light out there which is fine I think, as it’s really more about the storyline than the match itself.

Piper was Virgil’s mentor so he’s cheering wildly for him. Heenan gets in a great line about Virgil being so dumb he’ll try to bronze the gold belt. After about 5 minutes of Virgil getting beaten up, he catches DiBiase in a Million Dollar Dream until Sherri runs in to cause the DQ as Piper absolutely snaps.

HOWEVER!

The referee decides that’s not fair and sends Sherri to the back while ordering the match to continue. Now we get a better match as they’re going a bit harder but Virgil is hurt after being hit by the loaded purse. DiBiase proceeds to kick his body guarding self from one side of the ring to the other, but the ref was bumped so we have no one to count the pin.

A piledriver (which is what love feels just like sometimes) puts him nearly out as DiBiase takes off the turnbuckle. Virgil counters and rams him in twice. I don’t like the ending though as it takes Virgil about 20 seconds to get the cover and the win. Piper goes insane over this.

Rating: B. As I said, this was all storyline and it was a very fun one. Virgil rising up to face DiBiase and say that he’d had enough, leading to the big blowoff of him winning the title that literally was DiBiase’s was just perfect. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the emotion makes up for it.

The Mountie says he’ll win tonight.

Big Bossman says he’ll win tonight.

Jailhouse Match: Big Bossman vs. Mountie

The loser spends a night in a New York jail, which is kind of an interesting idea. This was around the time that Mountie was using this stupid shock stick to attack people. Monsoon says this will be a classic. That’s just comical. Piper would finally beat Mountie as he had a vest or something that absorbed the electricity, which is actually brilliant. There’s all kinds of bad prison jokes by Heenan here as this is supposed to be a huge match.

Apparently the loser also gets arrested and will have a criminal record. Dude, seriously, this is absurd. I still can’t get over the fact that Mountie beat Bret Hart and Hogan. You’d think he was Edge or something. This is a pretty boring match as once again it’s all about storyline as the match really just doesn’t live up to the hype.

Gorilla says that Hart is the best advertisement for birth control he’s ever seen. It just kind of happens slowly and no one cares about this match. Bossman wins and they take Mountie to jail, in one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D. I can’t believe I liked this as a kid. The styles just didn’t mesh. Mountie was better when he wrestled as a light weight, not this. Boss Man was outliving his usefulness at this point, but that can be attributed to them never really giving him a serious push. This whole gimmick as just dumb and the match was even worse.

DiBiase is mad that he lost the title, which was stolen from him.

Hart is happy about winning the title.

Jimmy Hart is with the Natural Disasters and is FREAKING OUT over Mountie. This is a pretty funny bit from him. The Disasters want the LOD. That’s not a good idea.

Boss Man makes fun of the Mounite as we must be on an intermission.

Gene is talking to Savage who is nervous, so let’s plug his phone call thing.

Holy

Freaking

Goodness

They actually put the intermission clock on the screen! It’s 5 minutes of dead silence, with the Savage phone number on the screen. You can hear the crowd cheering something. Boy it would be fun to actually SEE what they’re cheering for wouldn’t it? This is freaking stupid. I’m sitting here for 5 minutes waiting on a clock to count down. Why in the world was this left on the home video? I don’t want to look at a countdown.

Right now I’d rather read a book or something like that. We would have had to pay for this back in the day. After turning off my Best of Starrcade DVD which is more interesting to look at the box of than this countdown, we come back…to the Summerslam logo! My goodness people wonder why no one bought wrestling PPVs back in the day. At least give us some promos or something. Is it really that hard to do?

We go straight to the jail, where Mountie is arriving. My goodness, WHY WASN’T THIS USED DURING THE BREAK? If you want to have a live intermission that’s cool but don’t waste the money of the people paying by making them watch a freaking clock. That’s just stupid. Yeah this isn’t funny.

The Nasty Boys are in the back and Jimmy is still losing it. This is going to be a street fight for the belts against the LOD. The champions leave but first, we go back the jail where Mountie is panicking over everything, this time being photographed which is apparently like taking his soul.

Gene is with the LOD who say this is right up their alley. This promo is more about the Natural Disasters than the title match they have next. But before that silly thing like a tag title match, we go back for more “comedy” as Mountie is offended by getting his fingerprints taken.

MORE promos as I’m just sick of these now. Slaughter and company say they’ll win. This is just freaking ridiculous as we’ve gone 20 minutes since the end of the last match.

Screw it I give up. Sid has to do a promo now since he’s the referee for the main event. Did we really need the 5 minute clock with all these promos? Was this intermission half an hour? We see a video of Sid being offered a spot with Slaughter’s team.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

What the heck, you mean you don’t want to interview the caterers? Like I said this is a street fight for the belts. It’s kind of funny hearing Gorilla have to play babysitter between the two commentators. LOD is WAY over. Piper says that stands for look out dummy. Actually I believe it stands for Legion of Doom there Roddy. Big brawl of course to start us off.

We talk about Sid a lot as the referee tries to get people to tag in and out. I will never get the point of that in a street fight. And after the first few minutes it becomes a regular tag match. Well sure why not. Hawk plays Ricky Morton in a weird casting decision. Sags hits a top rope elbow on Hawk for two as Animal saves.

Animal comes in off the fairly hot tag and yeah this is going to be dominance. The Nasties get in a helmet (Jimmy’s trademark with them for some reason) shot to Hawk which does nothing for the most part. Hawk hits both guys with it and the Device on Sags gives them their first WWF Tag Titles.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak for the most part. It started and ended fairly hot but the middle is just dull. It’s a tag team match for about 5 minutes and the rest is nothing at all. There’s nothing here worth anything other than the LOD getting their first tag titles which took them forever to get. Pretty weak here but it was quick. One thing though: did ANYONE not see the title change coming? Anyone? Nah I didn’t think so.

Uh oh. I think that crazy Mountie might be up to more hijinks. Let’s see what kind of shenanigans he’s gotten himself into this time, that little rascal. Oh look at this! That hilarious Mountie got put inside a cell! What kind of improbably circumstances could he find himself in there? Wait and see!

Survivor Series promo.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Yep, it’s a filler on a show with a 5 minute intermission. I wonder if this qualifies for the worst booked show of all time. Valentine was completely done at this point and this was to do nothing but put over Irwin. Both guys here are great workers though so if you can ignore the stupidity of putting this on next to last after the ridiculous amount of filler we’ve already had, this could be a good match.

Apparently Roberts and Taker are in Madison Square Garden which is a huge deal. Yeah it’s not like those two could be on the card or something like that. Oh hey, did you hear that Mountie is in jail? Not sure if I made that clear, but Mountie is in jail for the night. About five minutes into this match, we address it. Remember what I said about this might be ok? I was wrong, this match sucks.

Valentine puts the figure four on him but he gets to the ropes without really selling it at all. He goes for it again and gets rolled up with a shoulder up and kicking out before the three, but I guess the referee says end this suckage now and I’ll buy you an Air Supply album. That’ll keep Valentine distracted for hours.

Rating: D+. I feel so bad for guys like this when the commentators aren’t the least bit interested in the match. At least give them something to work on. No one wanted to see this and it would have been better being much earlier in the show. It was pretty bad, but if the announcers had actually tried, it would have been at least watchable.

Hogan says to buy his PPV in the fall.

Hogan and Warrior are feeling patriotic apparently. The big problem with the whole Iraq storyline was this: the war had ended 6 months ago. There’s a running story/joke that Vince was hoping the war went until May so the main event of Mania would have made sense. Of course, since the writers were lazy even back then, which I believe the writers consisted of Vince back then, let’s just keep it going for another 6 months instead of having a real main event at Summerslam.

Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan vs. Hogan/Warrior

Let me make this clear: no one cares. Sid is the referee instead of having him face Warrior in what could have been a big match, or a Warrior/Hogan vs. Slaughter rematch which also would have been an interesting match. Ok no it wouldn’t have been but it would have been a real main event. The world champion is in a freaking handicap match at Summerslam. This is so stupid. Let’s get this nonsense over with please.

In case you can’t tell, I freaking hate this show. The faces dominate early as the fans cheer and no one is surprised. The only interesting thing here is to watch Warrior as he knows it’s his last match. Nothing special from him as Hogan gets beaten down and has to get beaten up by a couple of 50 year olds. He even takes the camel clutch from the man he beat for the world title 7 and a half years ago. That’s just weird to think about.

Hulkamania was born less than 8 years before this. They actually acknowledge that he’s the Sheik which I didn’t remember them doing. Hogan makes his comeback and tags Warrior, who beats up the heels but then gets beaten down himself. My goodness where do they come up with this brilliant storytelling? I’ve never seen anything like it (tonight at least)!

Warrior with his comeback and then it’s a brawl, no one is interested, Warrior grabs a chair and chases the two near senior citizens to the back because he can’t beat them on his own where he’s promptly fired. Hogan uses some powder and pins Slaughter with Sid doing absolutely nothing of note the entire match. Posing ensues as Sid joins him. This was a BIG waste of time.

Rating: D. There is absolutely no thought in this match at all. It’s two faces against three heels. I don’t think there was any buildup, and if there was it’s not mentioned here. Hogan was about to drop the title to Taker in two months, and Taker isn’t even on the card.
There was a home video released where this same match happened, but Taker was in it instead of the old guy not named Iron Sheik. Now wouldn’t that have been better here? This was called the Match Made In Hell. That’s a perfect title, because it would be perfect in the 8th circle of eternal torment. Horrible match and I’m glad it’s over.

And one more time, we see the Mountie in jail, this time being hit on by a fat biker. See, it’s funny because the biker wants to screw Mountie. See why that’s funny? I want to make sure it’s known that this is designed to be a joke, because I don’t think they made it clear enough. That’s a bit risqué for 1991.

We get the whole promo of Savage proposing to Liz, as this is the match made in heaven. See what they did? Match made in heaven and its opposite? See how intelligent Vince was to imply one was good and one was bad? Oh yeah that’s awesome indeed. In case that’s not enough emotion for you, we get a 4 minute music video, highlighting their entire history. The thing at Mania was amazing stuff and for the simple reason of it was spontaneous. This is just overkill.

The wedding is of course in the middle of the ring, which is of course set up to look like a chapel. Savage comes out first, in his hat, which has a, I’m not making this up, two foot high feather on it. We even have stupid flower girls and ring bearers. Could this get any sappier? Liz comes out looking stunning of course as the only thing that’s appealing about the whole thing. They say I do and the show ends.

Now for the actual good part: the reception. This was a bonus on some versions of the tape that has some of the best comedy I’ve ever seen. We get the standard stuff: toast, first dance, cake, etc. One thing that’s funny here is Gene says Mr. and Mrs. Macho. Shouldn’t it be Mr. and Mrs. Savage? Now we get to the really good part, as they open their wedding gifts.

Savage opens one and finds a blender. “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” For some reason this is just freaking hysterical to me. He sounds like he won the WWF Title or something. Anyway, they get some candlesticks to which Savage shouts that next time they should send money. Liz looks at him, wondering what’s this about next time. Savage turns back and yells KIDDING! Then it kicks off as Liz opens a box to find a King Cobra.

Taker appears out of nowhere and blasts Savage in the head with the urn. Did no one see the SEVEN FOOT TALL GUY IN ALL BLACK AND A COWBOY HAT??? Jake comes in with a snake handler’s glove and another snake, yet no one stopped him either. Sid comes in with a wooden chair to run them off as we end with me laughing my head off at it.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked. It has ONE good match. The rest is bad comedy and a horrible main event. I literally couldn’t remember what the main event was at this show when I was trying to think of it the other day. That should happen at Judgment Day or something, not freaking SUMMERSLAM.

Half the show was dedicated to an unfunny angle that was a waste of time. There is one match that’s bringing this up to a D from an F-. Watch that, and that’s it. This might be the worst of the big four that I’ve ever seen, including WM 11.

 

 

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Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a show that almost no one remembers other than one match. The main event is Hogan/Warrior vs. Slaughter/Adnan/Mustafa, which would have been a much better match a few months ago when Slaughter was still a threat. Other than that we have the wedding of Savage and Miss Elizabeth who reunited at Wrestlemania VII in one of the best moments in company history. Let’s get to it.

We open with Savage in the back getting ready while Alfred Hayes asks him questions. Savage says that he’s ready and in the danger zone, but HAYES’ TIE IS CROOKED. “NOW YOU’RE OK AND IT’S TIME TO GO CHECK MY BABY BLUE EYES!”

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.

Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Mr. Perfect says he’s an awesome champion.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”

Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.

Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD comes out for the save. This was Andre’s last appearance for the company.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA World Title to issue a challenge. “Hogan” (you never see him) opens the door and slams it in Heenan’s face. For the life of me I can’t get over seeing that belt in the WWF.

Virgil recaps his feud with DiBiase. You’re probably familiar with this one: Virgil was his bodyguard for years but at the Rumble, DiBiase pushed him just once too often and Virgil snapped. DiBiase lost to Virgil via countout at Wrestlemania and tonight it’s a rematch with the Million Dollar Title on the line.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.

Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

DiBiase goes on a huge rant about the title, saying that Virgil stole it and he’ll get it back.

Bret says this is the best day of his career and he waited a long time to prove how great he is. I’m pretty sure we’re in intermission.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Boss Man asks Sean Mooney what kind of bird can’t fly. A jailbird of course. He brags about winning a bit more.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, here’s the phone number again, complete with a countdown clock for a five minute intermission. Seriously they just count down five minutes of dead air time. AND THIS WAS ON THE HOME VIDEO.

Mountie arrives at the jail and shouts that the cops can’t do this to him because HE’S THE MOUNTIE! He tries to read the cops their rights and gets thrown in a cell.

Jimmy Hart is panicking while his Nasty Boys are read for the LOD. It’s a street fight later tonight.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

The Legion of Doom wants the tag titles. Hawk says once they win the belts they’re going to chew up the Natural Disasters and spit them out “like the tartar that sticks to your teeth.”

Mountie yells about having being fingerprinted. These bits are so overblown that they’re hilarious.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Sid Justice, the referee for the main event tonight, says that he’ll call it down the middle. Gene shows us a video of Slaughter and company offering Sid a spot on the team but Sid says they stopped him but he turned them down.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Uh…..sure. Feeling out process to start so Gorilla recaps the show so far. Valentine takes over with a quick shoulder block and a clothesline. Somehow we’re nearly two minutes into the match with this much action. IRS rolls to the floor as Gorilla says Undertaker and Jake Roberts might be here. Back in and Valentine slams him down, sending IRS right back to the floor.

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it had no business being on a pay per view. This would be the equivalent of the Divas match on a modern show to give the fans a breather between the big matches. Valentine was long past his point of being a star but he could still put people over like he did here.

Buy Hulk Hogan’s PPV, which is a Best of Hogan show. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

The ring is set up like a chapel for the wedding. Savage comes out in a shiny tux with a big feather on his hat. Heenan: “Why is the second most important guy called the best man?” From what I’ve read this is a legit renewal of vows as the two were already married in real life. There isn’t much to say here other than it’s a wedding and no one interrupts it. This takes like ten minutes.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

First off, “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” Savage freaks out as only he can as you would think he just got the WWF Title instead of a blender. Liz goes to open a present…..and there’s a cobra inside. She freaks out and Savage tries to pull her back, but Undertaker comes in and bashes him in the head with the urn. Jake Roberts comes in and holds the cobra in front of Liz’s face until Sid makes the save with a chair to end the show. This would set up Roberts vs. Savage in the feud of the year which resulted in Undertaker’s face turn.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show in that the first half is a much higher quality than the second half. The second half has all predictable matches where the winners were never in doubt, but that doesn’t exactly make it terrible. The show is definitely entertaining and set up a lot of stuff down the road while launching Bret Hart up to the next level. It’s worth a watch if you can find it in full but I wouldn’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Obviously it’s a year later and there’s few differences. The main one is that Hogan is once again the world champion (stunning isn’t it?) and the Deadman has arrived. Other than that, there are very few differences. Hart is a singles wrestler now, so that’s the last major difference that I was forgetting. This card is really forgotten over time if you look at it from an historical standpoint.

The main event is Hogan and Warrior against Slaughter and his two cronies in a handicap match, meaning that Sheik Adnan al-Kaissie and the Iron Sheik are supposed to be equal to Hogan or Warrior? Remember Adnan? Neither do I. He was a manager in the AWA and that’s about it. The other big deal is tonight is the marriage of Savage and Elizabeth, because marriage, the most holy of unions, has to be on PPV right???

Other than that, this card is really forgettable. The main interesting point in this is what the Warrior did. He allegedly threatened to no show the PPV unless Vince paid him some obscene amount. He pulled this a few days before the PPV, and Vince really had no choice but to do what Warrior said.

This is where the “I couldn’t wait to fire him” line came from. Warrior got to the back after the match and was fired immediately. Other than that, there’s next to nothing of interest here, but I’ve seen worse cards be watchable, so maybe this one will be as well. Let’s find out.

Very standard opening with the song playing and the announcers talking about the big stuff that evening. Standard, but fine I guess.

Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just called the Dragon here, and this is the famous scene where he’s dressed as a human lizard that breathes fire into the air. That’s a shame that he’s fallen this far this fast. He’d be back in WCW in just a few months where he was at least given some decent feuds and no stupid costume. Commentators completely ignore the match to talk about the matches later on in the show. Wait, they mentioned the six man.

You know I think these six…no it was just a quick thing about it. I feel like I’m watching a Nitro taping. Tornado comes in and all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about the match. I think that’s a bit of a shot at Steamboat by Vince. Literally, he was in there two and a half minutes and got one line about him. He leaves and the commentary is all about the match. We’re about 5 minutes into this and I’m still looking for a point to it.

I think it’s supposed to be Warlord vs. Bulldog, but I’m not sure really. It’s just a random group of faces vs. three heels with the same manager. I’m so utterly bored by this match that I can’t actually think of the words to explain it. It is just so standard and basic that I could see it at an FCW show. The wrestling is fine, but there’s no thought here at all. Faces win.

Rating: D. This was just so boring. Like I said, the wrestling was fine, but dang it was just there. There’s no thought, no story, no reason for this to take place. It’s an ok opener, but I would have wanted to see anything else.

Hey kids! Call this number if you want to hear a prerecorded comment from Savage or Liz about their fake wedding! Your parents won’t mind!

Mr. Perfect says he’s a great champion.

IC Title: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Dang this was on second? This is by far and away the best match on the card and a lot of people, including Norcal, says that it’s one of the best matches ever. These two had such a magnificent chemistry together and it’s hardly ever been topped. I defy you to find a better pair of guys to have such consistent matches with. Stu and Helen are there…again. Has there ever been a match with Bret that they haven’t been at?

You don’t see them at Owen’s matches. No wonder Owen was the bitter one. Coach is there with Perfect, and sadly enough his death got NO coverage due to Misawa dying a day later. They start with a great set of back and forth stuff with no one being able to get an advantage. It’s one of those types of openings where you have a guy in control but he’s not dominating at all. Hart does that here by just having on a basic headlock.

Heenan continues to show why he’s as important as anyone on the roster as his lines about Bret’s parents make you want to cheer for Bret more than anyone else could. Perfect gets his singlet literally ripped apart by Hart which makes him look almost crazed about the match. He looks like he’s in a war despite this having been going about 7 minutes at this point. This is a great dynamic for a match as you have the young lion Bret facing the established veteran in Perfect, who has the exact same style.

Crowd is way into this one too, which is making it better. Perfect’s hair looks like he got a bad shock as his perm has practically exploded. He takes over though as Heenan is singing his praises. We get a hair toss, which isn’t something that you see that often in a men’s match. That would hurt like heck too. Imagine being tossed by your hair. If that’s going to happen to me I better be getting paid for it. There’s a good story playing out here as Perfect counters everything that Hart has.

Hart kicks out of the Perfect Plex as the fans and Heenan lose their minds. Heenan says that no one has ever done that, which is ridiculous as Warrior did it in 1990. Hart brings up the original 5 moves of doom to put Perfect in “a whole heap of trouble.” Coach breaks this up though so Perfect has control again. He drops a let between Bret’s legs and backflips out of it which is cool looking.

He does it again, and in one of the SWEETEST counters I’ve ever seen, Bret grabs his leg, puts the Sharpshooter on him on the mat from his back, spins him over and then pulls back on it for the tap out. That was freaking sweet. Bret runs over to his family to celebrate. We get to hear Stu’s voice, which I never recall hearing other than this.

Rating: A+. These guys were spot on the whole time. It was a nearly 20 minute match and I didn’t see a single botch or anything resembling a botch at all. That counter at the end was absolute perfection and it played so well into the rest of the match. These two had so much chemistry they might as well be a magnet high school. Great match all around.

Hulk Hogan has a special PPV coming up, which is nothing but his “biggest” matches. Forerunner to 24/7 I guess.

We cut to the back to see the Bushwackers and Andre the Giant, which has to the weirdest pairing of all time. Andre was completely gone at this point with big crutches holding him up. This is explained by Earthquake being the guy that injured him. This was his last major WWF appearance save for popping up at a battle royal in London a few months later, which wasn’t televised until on 24/7 and some special releases.

Bushwackers vs. Natural Disasters

It’s so sad to see the Bushwackers have to walk so slow to let Andre keep up with them. He just didn’t need to be out there at this point but you can see it in his eyes that he’s having a ball out there. His love for the business was so obvious and it’s a shame he wasn’t around for the big boom in the 90s, at least to see it if nothing else. Now in case you’re an idiot and can’t figure it out, this is a comedy match.

GREAT line by Piper. Heenan says if he were the manager of the Bushwackers he’s kill himself. Piper says go apply for the job. Piper was a freaking riot when he didn’t like someone. To further make this stupid, the Bushwackers beat them up to start. Can someone explain to me why this makes sense? Piper says that two guys from New Zealand are Americana personified. He can be a riot but he can also be a moron.

Heenan with a Larry, Darryl and Darryl joke to take the lead in the best commentator of the night race. Andre continues to point and grunt about various things. Heenan leaves to interview Hogan as the ND finally take control and the match gets boring in a hurry. Did the Wackers EVER do anything of note? I can’t remember anything.

Anyway, as expected, this ends with a Bushwacker, the one that licked me at a house show, getting pinned. Afterwards the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD run out for the save and the showdown that I’m not sure ever occurred.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match. What do you really expect here? It was however, pretty short so it could have been far, far worse.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA title to continue what should have been the biggest showdown of all time, but they somehow screwed it up. Heenan’s unveiling of the NWA Big Gold Belt in 91 still ranks in my top five most awesome moments in wrestling history. Hogan (never seen or heard) slams the door in his face.

More Savage/Liz phone line ads. Macho is shown on the phone line. This is just stupid.

DiBiase and Mooney recap the Virgil/DiBiase history. As bad as Virgil was, this match was actually kind of epic as the pop for Virgil finally turning was pretty big. This is the rematch from Mania 7 where Virgil won by countout.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

The wrestling here isn’t the appeal. Virgil has had very few matches at this point while DiBiase is one of the best in ring workers of all time. Surprisingly enough, DiBiase dominates early on. It’s pretty basic with punches and kicks with a roll-up here or there. There’s just not a lot to say about the first half of this match. Both guys are going pretty light out there which is fine I think, as it’s really more about the storyline than the match itself.

Piper was Virgil’s mentor so he’s cheering wildly for him. Heenan gets in a great line about Virgil being so dumb he’ll try to bronze the gold belt. After about 5 minutes of Virgil getting beaten up, he catches DiBiase in a Million Dollar Dream until Sherri runs in to cause the DQ as Piper absolutely snaps.

HOWEVER!

The referee decides that’s not fair and sends Sherri to the back while ordering the match to continue. Now we get a better match as they’re going a bit harder but Virgil is hurt after being hit by the loaded purse. DiBiase proceeds to kick his body guarding self from one side of the ring to the other, but the ref was bumped so we have no one to count the pin.

A piledriver (which is what love feels just like sometimes) puts him nearly out as DiBiase takes off the turnbuckle. Virgil counters and rams him in twice. I don’t like the ending though as it takes Virgil about 20 seconds to get the cover and the win. Piper goes insane over this.

Rating: B. As I said, this was all storyline and it was a very fun one. Virgil rising up to face DiBiase and say that he’d had enough, leading to the big blowoff of him winning the title that literally was DiBiase’s was just perfect. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the emotion makes up for it.

The Mountie says he’ll win tonight.

Big Bossman says he’ll win tonight.

Jailhouse Match: Big Bossman vs. Mountie

The loser spends a night in a New York jail, which is kind of an interesting idea. This was around the time that Mountie was using this stupid shock stick to attack people. Monsoon says this will be a classic. That’s just comical. Piper would finally beat Mountie as he had a vest or something that absorbed the electricity, which is actually brilliant. There’s all kinds of bad prison jokes by Heenan here as this is supposed to be a huge match.

Apparently the loser also gets arrested and will have a criminal record. Dude, seriously, this is absurd. I still can’t get over the fact that Mountie beat Bret Hart and Hogan. You’d think he was Edge or something. This is a pretty boring match as once again it’s all about storyline as the match really just doesn’t live up to the hype.

Gorilla says that Hart is the best advertisement for birth control he’s ever seen. It just kind of happens slowly and no one cares about this match. Bossman wins and they take Mountie to jail, in one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D. I can’t believe I liked this as a kid. The styles just didn’t mesh. Mountie was better when he wrestled as a light weight, not this. Boss Man was outliving his usefulness at this point, but that can be attributed to them never really giving him a serious push. This whole gimmick as just dumb and the match was even worse.

DiBiase is mad that he lost the title, which was stolen from him.

Hart is happy about winning the title.

Jimmy Hart is with the Natural Disasters and is FREAKING OUT over Mountie. This is a pretty funny bit from him. The Disasters want the LOD. That’s not a good idea.

Boss Man makes fun of the Mounite as we must be on an intermission.

Gene is talking to Savage who is nervous, so let’s plug his phone call thing.

Holy

Freaking

Goodness

They actually put the intermission clock on the screen! It’s 5 minutes of dead silence, with the Savage phone number on the screen. You can hear the crowd cheering something. Boy it would be fun to actually SEE what they’re cheering for wouldn’t it? This is freaking stupid. I’m sitting here for 5 minutes waiting on a clock to count down. Why in the world was this left on the home video? I don’t want to look at a countdown.

Right now I’d rather read a book or something like that. We would have had to pay for this back in the day. After turning off my Best of Starrcade DVD which is more interesting to look at the box of than this countdown, we come back…to the Summerslam logo! My goodness people wonder why no one bought wrestling PPVs back in the day. At least give us some promos or something. Is it really that hard to do?

We go straight to the jail, where Mountie is arriving. My goodness, WHY WASN’T THIS USED DURING THE BREAK? If you want to have a live intermission that’s cool but don’t waste the money of the people paying by making them watch a freaking clock. That’s just stupid. Yeah this isn’t funny.

The Nasty Boys are in the back and Jimmy is still losing it. This is going to be a street fight for the belts against the LOD. The champions leave but first, we go back the jail where Mountie is panicking over everything, this time being photographed which is apparently like taking his soul.

Gene is with the LOD who say this is right up their alley. This promo is more about the Natural Disasters than the title match they have next. But before that silly thing like a tag title match, we go back for more “comedy” as Mountie is offended by getting his fingerprints taken.

MORE promos as I’m just sick of these now. Slaughter and company say they’ll win. This is just freaking ridiculous as we’ve gone 20 minutes since the end of the last match.

Screw it I give up. Sid has to do a promo now since he’s the referee for the main event. Did we really need the 5 minute clock with all these promos? Was this intermission half an hour? We see a video of Sid being offered a spot with Slaughter’s team.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

What the heck, you mean you don’t want to interview the caterers? Like I said this is a street fight for the belts. It’s kind of funny hearing Gorilla have to play babysitter between the two commentators. LOD is WAY over. Piper says that stands for look out dummy. Actually I believe it stands for Legion of Doom there Roddy. Big brawl of course to start us off.

We talk about Sid a lot as the referee tries to get people to tag in and out. I will never get the point of that in a street fight. And after the first few minutes it becomes a regular tag match. Well sure why not. Hawk plays Ricky Morton in a weird casting decision. Sags hits a top rope elbow on Hawk for two as Animal saves.

Animal comes in off the fairly hot tag and yeah this is going to be dominance. The Nasties get in a helmet (Jimmy’s trademark with them for some reason) shot to Hawk which does nothing for the most part. Hawk hits both guys with it and the Device on Sags gives them their first WWF Tag Titles.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak for the most part. It started and ended fairly hot but the middle is just dull. It’s a tag team match for about 5 minutes and the rest is nothing at all. There’s nothing here worth anything other than the LOD getting their first tag titles which took them forever to get. Pretty weak here but it was quick. One thing though: did ANYONE not see the title change coming? Anyone? Nah I didn’t think so.

Uh oh. I think that crazy Mountie might be up to more hijinks. Let’s see what kind of shenanigans he’s gotten himself into this time, that little rascal. Oh look at this! That hilarious Mountie got put inside a cell! What kind of improbably circumstances could he find himself in there? Wait and see!

Survivor Series promo.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Yep, it’s a filler on a show with a 5 minute intermission. I wonder if this qualifies for the worst booked show of all time. Valentine was completely done at this point and this was to do nothing but put over Irwin. Both guys here are great workers though so if you can ignore the stupidity of putting this on next to last after the ridiculous amount of filler we’ve already had, this could be a good match.

Apparently Roberts and Taker are in Madison Square Garden which is a huge deal. Yeah it’s not like those two could be on the card or something like that. Oh hey, did you hear that Mountie is in jail? Not sure if I made that clear, but Mountie is in jail for the night. About five minutes into this match, we address it. Remember what I said about this might be ok? I was wrong, this match sucks.

Valentine puts the figure four on him but he gets to the ropes without really selling it at all. He goes for it again and gets rolled up with a shoulder up and kicking out before the three, but I guess the referee says end this suckage now and I’ll buy you an Air Supply album. That’ll keep Valentine distracted for hours.

Rating: D+. I feel so bad for guys like this when the commentators aren’t the least bit interested in the match. At least give them something to work on. No one wanted to see this and it would have been better being much earlier in the show. It was pretty bad, but if the announcers had actually tried, it would have been at least watchable.

Hogan says to buy his PPV in the fall.

Hogan and Warrior are feeling patriotic apparently. The big problem with the whole Iraq storyline was this: the war had ended 6 months ago. There’s a running story/joke that Vince was hoping the war went until May so the main event of Mania would have made sense. Of course, since the writers were lazy even back then, which I believe the writers consisted of Vince back then, let’s just keep it going for another 6 months instead of having a real main event at Summerslam.

Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan vs. Hogan/Warrior

Let me make this clear: no one cares. Sid is the referee instead of having him face Warrior in what could have been a big match, or a Warrior/Hogan vs. Slaughter rematch which also would have been an interesting match. Ok no it wouldn’t have been but it would have been a real main event. The world champion is in a freaking handicap match at Summerslam. This is so stupid. Let’s get this nonsense over with please.

In case you can’t tell, I freaking hate this show. The faces dominate early as the fans cheer and no one is surprised. The only interesting thing here is to watch Warrior as he knows it’s his last match. Nothing special from him as Hogan gets beaten down and has to get beaten up by a couple of 50 year olds. He even takes the camel clutch from the man he beat for the world title 7 and a half years ago. That’s just weird to think about.

Hulkamania was born less than 8 years before this. They actually acknowledge that he’s the Sheik which I didn’t remember them doing. Hogan makes his comeback and tags Warrior, who beats up the heels but then gets beaten down himself. My goodness where do they come up with this brilliant storytelling? I’ve never seen anything like it (tonight at least)!

Warrior with his comeback and then it’s a brawl, no one is interested, Warrior grabs a chair and chases the two near senior citizens to the back because he can’t beat them on his own where he’s promptly fired. Hogan uses some powder and pins Slaughter with Sid doing absolutely nothing of note the entire match. Posing ensues as Sid joins him. This was a BIG waste of time.

Rating: D. There is absolutely no thought in this match at all. It’s two faces against three heels. I don’t think there was any buildup, and if there was it’s not mentioned here. Hogan was about to drop the title to Taker in two months, and Taker isn’t even on the card.

There was a home video released where this same match happened, but Taker was in it instead of the old guy not named Iron Sheik. Now wouldn’t that have been better here? This was called the Match Made In Hell. That’s a perfect title, because it would be perfect in the 8th circle of eternal torment. Horrible match and I’m glad it’s over.

And one more time, we see the Mountie in jail, this time being hit on by a fat biker. See, it’s funny because the biker wants to screw Mountie. See why that’s funny? I want to make sure it’s known that this is designed to be a joke, because I don’t think they made it clear enough. That’s a bit risqué for 1991.

We get the whole promo of Savage proposing to Liz, as this is the match made in heaven. See what they did? Match made in heaven and its opposite? See how intelligent Vince was to imply one was good and one was bad? Oh yeah that’s awesome indeed. In case that’s not enough emotion for you, we get a 4 minute music video, highlighting their entire history. The thing at Mania was amazing stuff and for the simple reason of it was spontaneous. This is just overkill.

The wedding is of course in the middle of the ring, which is of course set up to look like a chapel. Savage comes out first, in his hat, which has a, I’m not making this up, two foot high feather on it. We even have stupid flower girls and ring bearers. Could this get any sappier? Liz comes out looking stunning of course as the only thing that’s appealing about the whole thing. They say I do and the show ends.

Now for the actual good part: the reception. This was a bonus on some versions of the tape that has some of the best comedy I’ve ever seen. We get the standard stuff: toast, first dance, cake, etc. One thing that’s funny here is Gene says Mr. and Mrs. Macho. Shouldn’t it be Mr. and Mrs. Savage? Now we get to the really good part, as they open their wedding gifts.

Savage opens one and finds a blender. “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” For some reason this is just freaking hysterical to me. He sounds like he won the WWF Title or something. Anyway, they get some candlesticks to which Savage shouts that next time they should send money. Liz looks at him, wondering what’s this about next time. Savage turns back and yells KIDDING! Then it kicks off as Liz opens a box to find a King Cobra.

Taker appears out of nowhere and blasts Savage in the head with the urn. Did no one see the SEVEN FOOT TALL GUY IN ALL BLACK AND A COWBOY HAT??? Jake comes in with a snake handler’s glove and another snake, yet no one stopped him either. Sid comes in with a wooden chair to run them off as we end with me laughing my head off at it.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked. It has ONE good match. The rest is bad comedy and a horrible main event. I literally couldn’t remember what the main event was at this show when I was trying to think of it the other day. That should happen at Judgment Day or something, not freaking SUMMERSLAM.

Half the show was dedicated to an unfunny angle that was a waste of time. There is one match that’s bringing this up to a D from an F-. Watch that, and that’s it. This might be the worst of the big four that I’ve ever seen, including WM 11.

 

 

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Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a show that almost no one remembers other than one match. The main event is Hogan/Warrior vs. Slaughter/Adnan/Mustafa, which would have been a much better match a few months ago when Slaughter was still a threat. Other than that we have the wedding of Savage and Miss Elizabeth who reunited at Wrestlemania VII in one of the best moments in company history. Let’s get to it.

We open with Savage in the back getting ready while Alfred Hayes asks him questions. Savage says that he’s ready and in the danger zone, but HAYES’ TIE IS CROOKED. “NOW YOU’RE OK AND IT’S TIME TO GO CHECK MY BABY BLUE EYES!”

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.

Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Mr. Perfect says he’s an awesome champion.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”

Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.

Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD comes out for the save. This was Andre’s last appearance for the company.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA World Title to issue a challenge. “Hogan” (you never see him) opens the door and slams it in Heenan’s face. For the life of me I can’t get over seeing that belt in the WWF.

Virgil recaps his feud with DiBiase. You’re probably familiar with this one: Virgil was his bodyguard for years but at the Rumble, DiBiase pushed him just once too often and Virgil snapped. DiBiase lost to Virgil via countout at Wrestlemania and tonight it’s a rematch with the Million Dollar Title on the line.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.

Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

DiBiase goes on a huge rant about the title, saying that Virgil stole it and he’ll get it back.

Bret says this is the best day of his career and he waited a long time to prove how great he is. I’m pretty sure we’re in intermission.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Boss Man asks Sean Mooney what kind of bird can’t fly. A jailbird of course. He brags about winning a bit more.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, here’s the phone number again, complete with a countdown clock for a five minute intermission. Seriously they just count down five minutes of dead air time. AND THIS WAS ON THE HOME VIDEO.

Mountie arrives at the jail and shouts that the cops can’t do this to him because HE’S THE MOUNTIE! He tries to read the cops their rights and gets thrown in a cell.

Jimmy Hart is panicking while his Nasty Boys are read for the LOD. It’s a street fight later tonight.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

The Legion of Doom wants the tag titles. Hawk says once they win the belts they’re going to chew up the Natural Disasters and spit them out “like the tartar that sticks to your teeth.”

Mountie yells about having being fingerprinted. These bits are so overblown that they’re hilarious.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Sid Justice, the referee for the main event tonight, says that he’ll call it down the middle. Gene shows us a video of Slaughter and company offering Sid a spot on the team but Sid says they stopped him but he turned them down.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Uh…..sure. Feeling out process to start so Gorilla recaps the show so far. Valentine takes over with a quick shoulder block and a clothesline. Somehow we’re nearly two minutes into the match with this much action. IRS rolls to the floor as Gorilla says Undertaker and Jake Roberts might be here. Back in and Valentine slams him down, sending IRS right back to the floor.

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it had no business being on a pay per view. This would be the equivalent of the Divas match on a modern show to give the fans a breather between the big matches. Valentine was long past his point of being a star but he could still put people over like he did here.

Buy Hulk Hogan’s PPV, which is a Best of Hogan show. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

The ring is set up like a chapel for the wedding. Savage comes out in a shiny tux with a big feather on his hat. Heenan: “Why is the second most important guy called the best man?” From what I’ve read this is a legit renewal of vows as the two were already married in real life. There isn’t much to say here other than it’s a wedding and no one interrupts it. This takes like ten minutes.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

First off, “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” Savage freaks out as only he can as you would think he just got the WWF Title instead of a blender. Liz goes to open a present…..and there’s a cobra inside. She freaks out and Savage tries to pull her back, but Undertaker comes in and bashes him in the head with the urn. Jake Roberts comes in and holds the cobra in front of Liz’s face until Sid makes the save with a chair to end the show. This would set up Roberts vs. Savage in the feud of the year which resulted in Undertaker’s face turn.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show in that the first half is a much higher quality than the second half. The second half has all predictable matches where the winners were never in doubt, but that doesn’t exactly make it terrible. The show is definitely entertaining and set up a lot of stuff down the road while launching Bret Hart up to the next level. It’s worth a watch if you can find it in full but I wouldn’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6