WWF World Title: Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

This should have headlined Mania 15. Vince slaps Austin while the Stooges and Slaughter are there for backup. Vince grabs the mic and mentions the one arm tied behind your back line that Austin said earlier. He insists it’s the right arm, the Stunner arm. After a ton of stalling, heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Dude!

Dude Love comes out and says he doesn’t feel much love here tonight. He says he has to protect Vince because Vince signs the checks. Vince shoves Dude after he talks nice about Foley so Dude loads up the Claw. Austin comes over out of boredom. Love is the new big bad from Vince and is the opponent at Unforgiven. Again, Foley is used to make the new megastar look good.

Since this is Vince, we’ll have a lot of jumping to do. From Raw on Febraury 13, 1999.

Steve Austin vs. The Corporation

It’s a gauntlet match and Shamrock is up first. Slugout to start of course with Shamrock taking him down. The fans tell Vince that he screwed Bret. Austin escapes the ankle lock and hits the Stunner, but here’s Test for the DQ. He’s the next man as well and is Stunned in less than a minute, but Kane runs in for the seconds DQ. Kane chokes away in the corner but gets caught by the Thesz Press.

Austin pounds away but Kane gets a boot up to stop Austin. There’s the chokeslam but Austin kicks out at two. The Tombstone is countered into a Stunner but Chyna comes in for the DQ. I think the match only ends in a pinfall which is why they keep running in. Chyna comes in and takes a Stunner so here’s Boss Man. Austin hooks a sleeper but Boss Man escapes and gets the nightstick for the DQ. Austin is dead so Vince comes in and pins him.

Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was really just a way for Vince to get one up on Austin. The longest of the falls lasted about 80 seconds, so what are you expecting this to be? Nothing to see here but Vince’s charisma is incredible when he’s out there with Austin which makes up for some of the flaws. Also it’s less than seven minutes long so how annoyed can I get?

The main event from In Your House XXVII, the only time this happened on PPV.

Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

This had to headline a pay per view at some point. Austin gets in the cage first so Vince makes him wait a bit longer. Steve gets tired of waiting and chases Vince around the cage but the boss gets inside to hide. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Austin tries to climb up the cage but Vince punches from his high ground. Steve slips off the side of the cage and seems to have twisted his knee. Like an idiot, Vince comes out to check on it and gets clotheslined by a healthy Austin.

McMahon is sent into the side of the cage and choked with a cord. They fight into the crowd with Austin in complete control. Austin hits him in the head with the bell, making it ring the hard way. The match still hasn’t actually started yet. Back to ringside with Vince being sent into the steps and running into the crowd to try to get away. The beating continues until Austin knocks Vince back to ringside. Vince tries to climb into the cage where there’s less to cause him pain.

Austin won’t let that happen though and rams Vince face first into the cage over and over. Vince tries to climb again but this time Austin follows him up and slams Vince’s head into the top of the cage, sending him flying off the cage and onto the Spanish announce table. McMahon’s head bounces off a monitor, knocking him out cold for a bit in a scary landing. Everything stops as Vince is taken away by medics and Austin chills in the cage.

The Fink is about to announce Austin as the winner but Austin isn’t cool with that. He guaranteed to take Vince apart tonight, and since the bell never rang that’s not good enough for him. Austin asks the doctor if Vince is still breathing, because if he is the fight isn’t done yet. Vince is pulled off the stretcher and hit in the back with a backboard before finally being thrown into the cage for the opening bell.

Austin hits a quick clothesline and a middle rope elbow before going to leave, but Vince makes the eternal mistake of flipping Austin off. Steve climbs back inside and stomps a mudhole in the corner. Somehow Vince fights out with a low blow to get himself a breather before climbing up the cage. Austin pulls Vince down off the cage and leaves him in a heap. The boss is busted open and Lawler is losing his mind.

Steve can’t help but smile and climb the cage but Vince looks up at him and flips him off AGAIN, bringing Austin back to the ring. Austin stomps on him even more, leaving Vince crumpled down in the corner. There’s the Stunner but as Austin talks trash, a monster called Paul Wight breaks through the ring and throws Austin into the cage before helping Vince to his feet. Wight throws Austin against the cage but the wall breaks, allowing Austin to drop down for the win.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade because it was again a story rather than a match. The ending was very smart though as Wight got to debut but also look strong with Austin winning due to Wight’s strength. Austin got to give Vince the beating he needed to and win a the same time, but Vince gets to continue the feud with his new monster. In case you didn’t recognize the name, Wight would soon be called The Big Show Paul Wight.

Vince and Shane would join forces to fight Austin at King of the Ring 1999.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Steve Austin

Oh of course Shane is in it. This is a ladder match for control of the company, which is of course logical: the future of a billion dollar company and its ownership is being decided by a ladder match. Shane is announced as the replacement…for himself…making the whole thing earlier tonight about Shane being too hurt and a replacement being needed, you guessed it, COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

That should be Russo’s middle name: Vince Completely Pointless Russo. The problem with Shane being the partner is that it’s exactly what it was supposed to be in the first place, so the whole idea of having a replacement and the whole idea of having him not compete gets the crowd into it. Then that night it’s announced that it’s still him, which makes perfect sense. The partner is actually announced as Steve Blackman but GTV pops up to show that Shane is ok.

Shane and the Posse try to get out of the arena but Shawn stops him and says go to the ring. We’ll ignore the fact that Shane has 25% of the company and could just fire Shawn and appoint one of the Posse to his spot and let Blackman do his thing but whatever. Shawn brings Shane to the ring and says it’s the original match, again living up to Russo’s name.

The set is really cool as it’s a bunch of ladders holding up a canopy of ladders. It really is awesome looking. Austin’s music sets off a freaking eruption. I don’t care what anyone says: Hogan was never this hot, period. Austin would be gone for neck surgery in about six months, taking a year off to FINALLY get fixed after Owen hurt him. The Corporation is barred from ringside in case you’re wondering.

Lawler brings up the obvious point that Austin is going to dominate every one on one match here so the McMahons need to double team him. I know it’s basic, but that’s what an analyst is supposed to do. This has been all Austin to the shock of no one. Shane has a McMahon 6:32 jersey on which is kind of clever. Shane hits a clothesline to finally change things a bit. We get a Home Improvement reference to really date the show a bit. We’re up at the entrance now and Shane climbs up into the display of ladders and Austin, ever the genius, follows him.

After knocking Shane back to the floor, he stops to throw up two fingers for the crowd. See what he did right there? He took about three seconds and got the crowd into it all over again. Any wrestling crowd will love nothing more than to be acknowledged. That is one of the few universal truths in wrestling. Look at guys like Rock, Austin, Hogan and Flair.

They’re four of the biggest names ever and every one of them gets the crowd involved in their promos and matches. Flair shouts at fans and says he’ll make women out of people’s mothers, Hogan does the hand to the ear, Austin flips them off, and Rock gets them chanting his name. They directly talk to the crowd rather than saying something about the crowd like mentioning a team, which isn’t directly at them.

See what I’m getting at here? The big stars are the ones that interact with the fans and it always works as it always will. Austin puts Vince through two of the ladders holding up the set which doesn’t fall, completely defying the laws of physics. In other words, the top of a ladder which is maybe two feet by six inches is holding up a ladder display that’s about 12 feet long.

They knock it out and the whole thing crashes down on Vince and Shane. That’s a great looking spot. Since they own the company though, they’re fine and catch Austin as he’s setting up the ladder. Who cares that they should be dead or severely injured? Austin goes airborne and puts Shane through the Spanish announce table which is one of the few classic bumps that will never die in my mind.

Vince knocks Austin onto the English table which doesn’t break at all. That has to be some kind of a joke. King’s microphone is broken. Ah he’s back. Austin now has a bad leg and stops Vince with a low blow. Austin is just beating the tar out of them now. Shane starts tapping out which is funny to me for some reason, which apparently means it’s good that he’s wearing black pants as Ross continues to just be freaking stupid.

Vince stops Austin from getting the case and the heat is great. The ladder is broken so they try to boost Shane up. Of course it doesn’t work and Austin is up. The look on his face more or less says chick are you crazy? Both guys get stunned. Ross says it’s in the book and you can see it coming.

Austin goes up and the briefcase goes up higher. This was another thing that went absolutely nowhere as the person that controlled it was never revealed. Vince gets his hands on it as Austin goes after everyone. Shane shoves both guys down and Shane goes up for the briefcase.

Austin, knowing he might get screwed, would announced tomorrow night that while still CEO he had booked a title shot the next night on Raw against Taker, which is still to this day the highest rated wrestling match in cable history, drawing an insane quarter hour of something like an 8.4.

Rating: C-. It’s ok, but that’s all. The screwjob ending was about as much of a given as you could ask for, yet somehow this might have been the best match all night since the tag match got less than five minutes. This was just a way to make you watch Raw the next night, which is what it’s designed to do I guess. They really should have had HHH in there acting for Vince and had the McMahons interfere instead so that the match would have been more solid. This just wasn’t that interesting as it was about 80% Austin which is exactly what was expected.

HHH would become the Big Bad of the WWF and Vince would get a WWF Title shot on Smackdown, September 16, 1999.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

Say it with me: Shane is guest referee. Vince jumps HHH to start and the fight is on. McMahon is in a suit here and gets stomped down by the world champion himself. HHH easily punches Vince down and this is pure domination so far. Shane taunts his father but Vince comes back with a low blow. It’s not enough to stop HHH though and Vince gets stomped down even more.

With McMahon on the floor, the champion chokes away with a camera cord. Vince is beaten onto the announce table and Shane is begging with HHH to not beat on his father anymore. HHH drops an elbow off the barricade through Vince through the announce table. Back in and HHH grabs a chair, but Shane takes it away from him. That works for about two seconds as HHH shoves Shane down and hits Vince with the chair, busting him open.

Shane goes after HHH but Chyna makes it 2-1 and Shane is beaten down as well. A chair shot to his back keeps Shane down and here come Linda, Patterson and Brisco. The old men get beaten up and Chyna holds Linda while HHH punches Vince even more. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Austin comes in through the crowd to beat up the Game (HHH’s nickname). HHH and Chyna both get Stunners and Austin puts Vince on top of HHH for the pin and the title, blowing the roof off the crowd.

Rating: D. This was barely a match but it was entertaining enough. Having Vince as champion obviously wasn’t going to last but to call it a fun moment is an understatement. That being said, it really wasn’t all that smart of a moment as HHH had only won the title about three weeks earlier. That doesn’t exactly make a questionable champion look all that strong.

And another match at Armageddon 1999.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

There are over 35 minutes to go when the music starts. That’s just not a good sign at all. Stephanie comes out first in a leather jacket and a pink top. She was ridiculously hot with straight hair. Sweet goodness that’s an awesome song. This is of course under hardcore rules. This is about the best HHH has ever been as a heel as he was having great matches and was as evil as you could ask him to be.

You really felt like he was the horrible man he was built up to be. That’s always a great sign. Wow it’s weird hearing that he’s 28 here. HHH runs at him with the hammer but Vince has powder. So what if it completely missed his face? Vince just throws punches, all of which sound painful as all goodness.

We get a joke from Ross saying they’re from Idaho. In case you don’t get that, the term for hitting someone harder than you should or legit is called potatoing them. I love how they just left the Spanish announce table in pieces like that. We’re in the crowd now and it’s all Vince.

They’re in the area just outside the arena and you can’t see anything. We’re back at ringside now and it’s basic stuff so far. And here’s Mankind with a shopping cart full of weapons. Ok then. The weapons of choice are a garbage can and lid. HHH gets knocked into the audience and wouldn’t you know it he lands in front of Stephanie. What a coincidence! She can’t act. That’s all there is to it.

Vince goes into the cart of weapons as someone is shouting in Spanish. I think it translates to GET US A NEW FREAKING TABLE! We’re up by the set now which is a military theme. HHH hits him in the head with a sandbag. Yeah it’s that kind of a match. SICK shopping cart shot to the head. I had a flashback to Supermarket Sweep there so this show rocks now. And yet Vince’s hair is still perfect. That’s very impressive. Vince gets slammed into a helicopter.

In a SICK spot, a machine gun on a pivot is swung around to slam into his head. Freaking OW. I can’t really criticize the lack of wrestling here as there’s only one wrestler in it. We’re in the back now with HHH dominating. Vince can’t find HHH. That sounds like a really boring game.

We’re outside now and Vince is just walking around looking for him. HHH tries to pull a Rikishi and run him over. For some reason the announcers sound surprised that HHH was driving. They fight on the car for a bit as Ross is of course freaking out. We fight on a limo now and Vince gets slammed on it.

Back in the arena and HHH climbs up a scaffold. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vince falls and while it’s ok it’s not great. Holy chant comes out of course. Finally we get some blood. My goodness we’re near the ring! HHH gets a mic and talks to Stephanie. This is rather amusing actually. Vince comes back like a Night of the Living Dead zombie.

WE GO BACK INTO THE RING!!! HHH raises a pipe over Vince’s head but stops to use a hammer. Good. I’m glad the hammer didn’t have to feel left out. That wouldn’t have been nice. HHH does Suck It to Stephanie. Nice imagery. A low blow saves Vince. Vince gets the hammer and has HHH in the corner and here’s Stephanie saying she wants to hit him.

Naturally Vince winds up getting it as Stephanie still can’t act. She’s still face here until they hug. Oh HHH got the pin. This was the start of the McMahon-Helmsley Era which dominated the storylines until the end of 2000. Crowd reacts to the hug. I have no clue how they’re reacting but they’re reacting. Seriously why is JR surprised about this? They’re the freaking McMahons. Dang she looks great here.

Rating: B-. All things considered, this was good. When I say that, you have to remember that Vince isn’t a wrestler so this more or less had to be a massive freaking brawl the entire time. Now when I say time, keep in mind this went HALF AN HOUR. This needed about ten minutes cut out to really be good as it just got repetitive at the end. Still though, this was solid brawling throughout and entertaining so I’ll give it that. Too long though.

King of the Ring 2000 would see a six man tag for the WWF Title.

WWF Title: HHH/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Rock/Kane/Undertaker

Yeah those sides are fair. Like mentioned earlier, if HHH or either McMahon is pinned, HHH loses the title to whoever gets the pin. If HHH’s team wins, HHH fights Angle. There’s no explanation of how this came about but HHH was feuding with Rock and Taker showed up to get at Vince and Shane was with Vince and Kane was just there for the sake of being there. All of the faces get their own entrances. Shane is a pussy apparently.

The pussy starts with Kane. And that’s more or less the high point. This match goes on nearly TWENTY MINUTES and I stopped caring after about two. It’s just filling in the time the whole way rather than anything actually of note going on. The faces keep fighting amongst themselves while the heels keep getting in a few shots here and there. One major problem here is that they never actually explain why Take hates Vince.

Now if you followed wrestling well enough around this time, it’s not that hard to figure out, but dang man, give us something at least. The match just goes on and on and it’s boring as any and all goodness. We get that the faces don’t get along. You don’t need to remind us a dozen times per minute. Everyone beats on everyone as we’re in the orgy mode here. Nothing of note happens as it’s all just one big mess as everyone beats on everyone with no particular rhyme or reason.

FINALLY we get to the point as most everyone goes outside and given the amount of time left we know that someone is going to get a pinfalll soon and end this. Since Vince is alone in the ring, I’m willing to bet that it’s him. And yep, there’s a Rock Bottom and a new champion to celebrate. And yep that’s all there is.

Rating: D-. Oy thank goodness this is over. No one cared about the thing but since we had seen Rock vs. HHH a half dozen times they needed to shift things, and since there’s some law against Kane getting a title shot on PPV, this is what we got instead. It was a weird idea and seriously, did anyone thing there wouldn’t be a new champion? I’m just glad this is over.

Vince would hook up with Trish Stratus because….well look at her. Here’s one of the resulting matches from Raw on February 26, 2001.

Vince McMahon/Trish Stratus vs. William Regal/Stephanie McMahon

Vince brings out that bucket of sewage. Apparently Stephanie shoved Trish into manure on Smackdown. Trish kisses Vince to start and the girls go at it first. All Trish to start as I guess Stephanie and Regal are the faces here. Steph gets a suplex for two. They had the best match you could ever imagine they would have the previous night. DDT gets two for Stephanie.

They botch….something as Stephanie goes down. It looked like a clothesline I think but I’m not sure. Vince comes in and Steph has no idea of it. Regal backs off to huge boos. Vince gets a mic and Regal brings in the bucket. He says that what Vince wants, Vince gets. He tells Trish to get in here and tells the referee that this match is over.

Stephanie and Vince are apparently all cool and Regal takes Trish down with a neckbreaker. With Vince’s direction, Stephanie covers her with the mop in the sewage and shoves her face in the bucket. Vince says that there’s one Daddy’s Little Girl and Trish was just a toy, a toy Vince is tired of playing with. Trish would be back with Vince like next week. This was barely a match so no rating.

Another Vince vs. Shane match from Wrestlemania X7.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.

We’ll jump ahead to Royal Rumble 2002 for another street fight.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Hey look: a street fight. From Wrestlemania XIX.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

This is a street fight because that’s how Vince rolls and if Hogan loses he has to retire. Hogan pounds away to start before pounding away on the mat. Vince is knocked down into the corner and stomped down for good measure but he gets in a thumb to the eye to give himself a breather. A clothesline takes Hogan down and Vince Pounds away in the corner. He drops some knees into Hogan’s shoulder as we actually get an attempt at psychology here. Seriously, why?

Vince wraps the arm around the post before hooking a test of strength grip with Hulk in trouble. Hogan tries to fight up but gets kicked right back down. That works so well that they do it again before Vince throws Hogan out to the floor. With Hogan in trouble Vince picks up a chair but the swing only hits post. Hogan pounds him down and hits a chair shot to Vince’s head for good measure, busting Vince open.

They head back in, only for Hogan to punch him out to the floor. Another chair shot to the back puts Vince down as does a third. Hogan swings again but knocks out the Spanish announcer by mistake. Vince hits Hogan in his Real American testicles as the slow brawling continues. A chair shot puts Hogan down and Vince pulls out a ladder, making me think this ends badly.

Hulk is busted open too as Vince lays him onto the announce table. In the big spot of the match, Vince climbs the ladder and drops a “leg” through Hogan and through the table. Hogan is thrown back in as Vince gets a lead pipe. He looks up from under the ring apron and has a hilariously evil grin on his face. Vince loads up a pipe shot but Hogan hits him low. Cue RODDY PIPER of all people to blast Hogan in the head with the pipe. This surprises Cole and Tazz because….they’re not that bright. Seriously, Piper and Hogan HATED each other and they’re surprised he attacked Hogan? Why?

Piper leaves and Vince gets two off the pipe shot. This match needs to end like NOW as it’s well past the point of entertaining and is reaching stupid. Vince goes for the pipe but is stopped by the referee, causing the referee to go flying out to the floor. The EVIL French referee from earlier today comes out as Hulk is hit with another pipe shot and a Vince legdrop for two. It’s Hulk Up time though and he lays out both Vince and the crooked referee before hitting the big boot and THREE legdrops to kill Vince dead for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but going twenty minutes completely misses the idea of something like this. Again I’m not sure what this accomplishes other than setting up Hogan vs. Piper in a feud that didn’t exactly light the world on fire in 2013. Fun but pretty awful match here.

We’ll stay in 2003 with this match from Vengeance.

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

For the life of me I have never gotten the point of this angle at all. At least Gowen had a good Seether song for his theme music. Vince dominates early on to the shock of no one. Gowen busted out an Asai Moonsault. His character and angle was annoying as all goodness but to say it’s impressive is an understatement. One of the interesting things here is that Zach is like 150lbs so it’s like wrestling a woman as far as the weight goes.

Vince beats the tar out of him for a long time including a Boston Crab. Again, I don’t get the point to this but it’s Vince in the ring so what do you expect? Gowen makes his comeback and very few people care. Zach goes up top and hits a bulldog. When I say hit I mean miss and when I say bulldog I mean his arm almost touches the back of Vince’s head.

This just isn’t as impressive as it could be, but we get it: he can wrestle on one leg. He doesn’t need 15 minutes to prove it. We get a chair and Vince gets beaten with it and bleeds. Oh dang he’s bleeding a lot. Gowen misses a moonsault and Vince pins him. Yeah seriously that’s the ending. Gowen stands in the ring and gets cheered. Mostly at least but there’s a good deal of booing in there.

Rating: C-. The problem here became evident very quickly: yes, we know he can wrestle on one leg, but after that the appeal goes away and it gets stupid. It’s cool to see, but it gets old fast. If this is cut in half time wise, it’s FAR better and one of the coolest matches ever. It’s still cool and impressive as all goodness, but this went on too long. Decent match though but the ending sucked.

And another from No Mercy 2003.

Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon

I Quit match and Stephanie can win by pin as well. It’s also no holds barred and no one can interfere on her behalf. Linda is here too to make sure this match is acted even worse. Sable is with Vince. Vince jumps Stephanie to start. He’s evil you know. Stephanie jumps on his back and screams a lot. She kicks him into the corner so he runs her over. Vince throws her around and Cole is up to about 20 “THAT’S HIS DAUGHTER” lines a minute.

Sable slaps Stephanie so Linda chases her around. Vince hooks a half crab and Stephanie screams a lot. Off to a bow and arrow and Stephanie can’t even sell her face properly. Sable slides in a pipe but Linda stops her. Vince grabs Linda so she slaps him and Steph hits Vince low with the pipe for two. She pulls the pipe back and hits him in the ribs and the back and in the face but Vince doesn’t go down. A shot from the middle rope to the top of the head gets two.

This match has been going on about four minutes and I already hate it. Sable gets in a fight with Stephanie so Stephanie rams Vince into her and bulldogs him for two. She gets the pipe again but Vince grabs her by the throat and shoves her down. Now Vince has the pipe and hits her in the ribs. He chokes her with the pipe and Linda shouts to quit because it’s not worth it. Linda throws in the towel because Stephanie can’t give up. You know, to protect her reputation and all that.

Rating: F. This got more of a build than the world title match, the US Title match and the Angle vs. Cena match. You figure out why this was a failure.

And one more from this year at Survivor Series 2003.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

I have to do this one. From Raw on February 23, 2004.

Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon

Austin is guest referee. They stare each other down to start and Bischoff offers a handshake, only to get kneed in the ribs. Bischoff comes back with some strikes but Austin breaks it up. Vince makes the mistake of going after Austin and gets decked for old times’ sake. Bischoff gets chased around the ring and choked on the floor as JR drops the bowling shoe line. Brock Lesnar sneaks into the ring and lays out Austin as the match is thrown out. No rating and much more of an historical curiosity than anything else.

We’ll jump ahead to Wrestlemania XXII.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.

Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.

McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.

Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.

There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.

And the rematch at Backlash 2006.

Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince introduces God and we get a spotlight. His tron video is clouds and he comes out to harp and piano music. Vince stops and criticizes God before challenging him to a dance contest. I kid you not, this is really happening. The spotlights gets in the ring and Vince tells the referee to check him out. Vince makes the match no holds barred because the idea of Vince wrestling an actual match isn’t pleasing. Sexy Boy finally hits to end this stupidity.

Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.

Shawn comes back but here’s Vince with a chair as they’re all on the stage now. Shawn blocks the shot and takes Shane down again before hitting a cross body on Vince off the stage. This looked like nothing live but it looked good on camera. Shawn climbs back up to the stage but gets hit in the face with the chair by Shane. Michaels is busted which I never noticed in the arena.

Shane and Shawn head back to the ring and Shawn goes into the post. Shawn gets sent into the barricade and then back into the ring as Shane is in complete control. The top rope elbow misses and both guys are down. Vince is on the apron now and apparently they have to tag. Shane DDTs Shawn down and it’s off to Vince. Vince takes his belt off and whips Shawn’s back because he’s that evil. Shane throws in a garbage can and Shawn gets his head caved in.

Vince wants a mic and taunts God a bit. God walks out and Vince says come back. Vince declares that God has left the building, but Shawn hasn’t. He stands Shawn up and tries a superkick but the kick gets caught. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the forearm and nip-up. Shane misses a chair shot and caves in Vince’s head by mistake. It’s a forearm for Shane followed by an atomic drop and some clotheslines. Shawn’s top rope elbow hits and both McMahons taste superkicks.

Shawn, ever the genius, doesn’t go for a cover but rather goes to the floor for a table. Make that two tables. My fellow Lexingtonians (yes that’s what they’re called) want ladders because much like other wrestling fans, they’re greedy people. Both McMahons are put on tables and here comes the ladder. It’s the jumbo sized ladder too. Shawn climbs up but has to dive on the invading Spirit Squad. That was incredible live but the camera didn’t get a great shot of it. The main problem was you didn’t see them until the dive so Shawn looked crazy.

The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.

Rating: D. The match was boring, but JR put it best during the match: this was uncomfortable. On top of that, the whole thing was stupid. This would set up a feud that ran for the whole year which didn’t work all that well either. It did lead to the reformation of DX which was pretty interesting, but dang this first part was torture to sit through. Not a horrible match but dang this was a chore to sit through.

And another rematch from Summerslam 2006.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Time for another feud, this time with fallout from Wrestlemania XXIII. From Backlash 2007.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is champion and whoever gets the fall is champion. Shane starts us out and is promptly destroyed. Lashley throws him around and suplexes him down before throwing him to the floor. Bobby wants Vince but Shane staggers back in instead. Off to Umaga who is sent into the corner but Lashley charges into a boot to the face. Well foot tape to the face but you get the idea.

Bobby sends him into the corner again and hits some clotheslines including a big one to send him over the top rope and out to the floor. Down goes Shane so there’s only Vince left on the apron. Instead Shane gets back in and takes a delayed vertical suplex. Umaga tries a headbutt but it hits the Boy Wonder by mistake. Shane finally does something effective by pulling the top rope down to send Bobby out to the floor.

Umaga sends Lashley into the steps as we continue the filler until Vince comes in. Lashley is in trouble but Vince still doesn’t want the tag. Shane puts on a Fujiwara Armbar followed by a hammerlock with knees. Off to a cross armbreaker/triangle choke hybrid which Lashley can’t quite power out of. Scratch that as he hits a kind of powerbomb for two. Back to the Samoan for a headbutt followed by a bearhug.

Bobby escapes for a second but gets caught in a Samoan Drop to put him down again. Shane hooks a camel clutch for longer than should be humanly possible to survive. Lashley gets out of that too with pure power and hits a Torture Rack backbreaker (Shock Treatment ala Abyss) to Shane. Umaga gets speared and it’s a Dominator to Shane but Vince finally comes in for the save. In the confusion Shane gets a belt shot in for two from Vince. Vince is ticked off now and brings in Umaga for a top rope splash. That gets two for Vince as well so Umaga does the exact same thing again to give Vince the title.

Rating: C. This was fine I guess but it would start a huge ordeal with ECW fans saying that Vince was killing the legacy of ECW. You know, because it was SO healthy after guys like Big Show was champion and we got a single ECW Rules match a week if we were lucky and guys like Matt Striker and Elijah Burke and Mike Knox and Test were featured on the show every week. Lashley would get the title back in a month or so before the title fell into the midcard level it would stay at until it was axed.

A match that I still defend, from Wrestlemania XXVI.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Vince says he’s bought a lot of lumberjacks: the Hart Family (including the Hart Dynasty), with the idea being that they all hate Bret just like Vince does. Also Bruce Hart, Bret’s brother, is guest referee. Bret asks his family if they all agreed to this and says they must have all gotten paid up front. If there’s one thing he’s learned from Montreal, it’s that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. Tonight, the Harts are united because they came to Bret and agreed to sucker Vince in.

Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.

Back in and Bret knocks it away from McMahon before picking up the pipe. Seven shots with that look to set up the Sharpshooter but instead Bret hits him with the pipe a few more times. There’s a hard kick to the balls and a few more for good measure. Natalya: “MAKE EM BLEED!” A chair is sent in and Bret takes a seat. Vince slowly gets up so Bret hits him with the chair EIGHTEEN TIMES and it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: A+. I said that when I first did this and I say it here. Now while I shouldn’t have to explain this, I will anyway because a lot of people are slow. Am I saying it was a match on the level of say Shawn vs. Razor? Of course not. I’m saying it’s the perfect match for what it was supposed to be. This was Bret DESTROYING Vince for a long time and doing it as well as he could given his condition. If you thought it was going to be anything but that and Vince tapping to the Sharpshooter, you completely missed the point of this match.

We’ll wrap it up with Vince’s last match to date which shocked everyone. Raw, October 8, 2012 and it’s not really a match but it’s close enough.

Vince McMahon vs. CM Punk

Vince comes out for the match but Punk jumps him on the way to the ring and beats the tar out of him before the bell. Vince spears him down but Punk beats him in the head. The high kick puts Vince down and I don’t think the bell every rang. They head to the floor and Punk puts on a headset. “WHAT A MANUEVER!!!” I laughed out loud.

Vince sends Punk into the post after escaping the GTS. He sends Punk FLYING over the announce table and grabs a mic. Vince DIVES OVER THE TABLE and beats up Punk! He rams a chair into Punk’s crotch and we head back inside. Vince is bleeding from the eye but he grabs a kendo stick. I think Vince’s ear is bleeding also. Punk bails and tells Heyman to bring the title, but Vince stops him and lays out Heyman with a shot to the head. Vince gets the title and stands in the ring with it and the kendo stick, challenging Punk to come fight him.

Punk finds a kendo stick and gets in. They BEAT THE TAR OUT OF EACH OTHER with the sticks and Vince knocks the stick out of Punk’s hands, sending Punk to his knees to beg. Punk hits Vince low and beats on him with the sticks. He loads up the GTS but FEED ME MORE hits and the fans LOSE IT.

Punk runs but Cena comes out and sends Punk back in. Ryback kills Punk with the clothesline but Punk escapes Shell Shock. Punk bails and Vince gets the mic. He says it’s either Punk vs. Ryback or Punk vs. Cena in the Cell. If Punk doesn’t decide, Vince makes up his mind for him. Punk is TERRIFIED to end the show. This wasn’t a match but man it ROCKED.

He’s one of the best villains of all time and will still do whatever he needs to do on camera. His matches weren’t any good but it was all about the build instead of the matches anyway. To be fair, the matches weren’t the worst in the world and considering that it’s the boss out there, all can be forgiven. He’s hard not to like at least a bit despite being totally evil.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We’re going old school today with a man I met three times over Wrestlemania weekend: Bob Backlund.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Ivan Koloff

Bob is defending and Ivan has Captain Lou Albano, an old heel manager with him. Backlund has only been champion about six months at this point. The name graphic leaves the A out of Backlund’s name. Backlund backdrops him to start as the crowd goes very silent for some reason. A headscissors puts Ivan down and Backlund holds on with a leg vice around Ivan’s head. They go to the mat and Backlund bridges up in a nice power display.

Ivan puts him on the top rope but gets kicked away. Off to another standoff and it’s test of strength time. Backlund goes down but comes back with a top wristlock, only to get caught in a headscissors. This goes on for a few minutes until Bob does a reverse nipup to escape. He dropkicks Ivan down and hooks a headscissors of his own as this is getting repetitive. Then again this is the way a lot of these matches went back then so this would be considered a big deal back then.

Backlund takes him back down again but gets caught in headscissors #4 of the match so far. Backlund finally gets out of that one as well and works on the knee a bit. Somehow we’re over fifteen minutes into this despite almost nothing happening other than headscissors so far. Bob stays on the leg and hooks a hold on for a few minutes. That’s another sign of the times: holds stay on FOREVER. I mean this one has been on for nearly four minutes at this point.

It finally gets broken up and Ivan suplexes him down for two. The idea of selling an injury must not have been invented yet. Or maybe it just doesn’t translate into Russian. Ivan hooks a short arm scissors but Bob shows off his surprising strength by lifting Ivan up into the air and over his head, slamming him down onto the mat back first to break the hold.

Bob puts him on the top rope to counter and hooks something like a spinning toehold. Thankfully this one lasts less than the usual two hours with Ivan kicking him in the ribs. Ivan sends him into the ropes but they ram heads, sending Bob to the floor. Koloff is smart and breaks up the count so he can still win the title. Backlund gets rammed into the post and a backbreaker gets two.

Ivan goes up top for the biggest pop from the crowd(and possibly the only one so far) of the match but his top rope knee drop misses. Backlund sends him in but gets kicked down again, this time back to the floor again. Koloff breaks up the count again, this time by going up top and jumping down onto the apron, kicking Bob in the head on the way down. That would be considered a big spot back then.

Backlund is busted open and we have to have the doctor look at it. That doesn’t work so the fight continues. Backlund goes off as he is known to do and Ivan is in trouble. A backdrop puts the challenger down…and the match is stopped because of the cut. Trash fills the ring and I can’t quite say I blame them for that.

Rating: C-. The ending was stupid but it had more to do with the athletic commission rather than the booking or anything. That being said, it made no sense to say Backlund can’t continue when he was beating the tar out of Koloff but whatever. Also, this match was fairly boring as I was looking for things to talk about during those rest holds which went on forever. I know it’s a different era, but that doesn’t make it any less dull.

Backlund wants to keep going but Ivan walks away. The title doesn’t change hands for some reason even though Ivan wins.

Against the first Intercontinental Champion in a cage on September 24, 1979 in MSG.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson

This is from September of 79 apparently. Patterson is the IC Champion here and is a cage match expert but Backlund has never been in one. Patterson was more or less the top heel in the company by default here. They start off fast as Backlund is all fired up here. Patterson tries to get out early and that goes nowhere.

Both guys get incredibly close but can’t get all the way out. Patterson almost gets out with Backlund literally dragging him back over the top by a single leg. They keep fighting to try to get out as this is definitely more about winning than violence which is fine. We clip the match to them being on the mat and Patterson hammers away on a cut on Backlund’s head. From what I can find only about three minutes out of 16 total were clipped so we get the vast majority here.

Patterson is busted too. Vince calls the WWF Champion a gallant lad. That’s sweet. Patterson goes into the cage and Backlund goes for the kill. He winds up going into the cage though so forget about that I guess. Backlund gets the atomic drop which was one of his signature moves at the time. I guess Lombardi will have to be gentle tonight.

Patterson finds some brass knuckles and they go up. Pat can’t get a shot with them and both guys go down. And then Backlund kicks Patterson in the head and the force of the kick launches Backlund backwards through the cage door and out to the floor. Patterson FREAKS in the ring after that even though he did nothing but lose cleanly. I guess that’s why he’s a heel.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys beating the tar out of each other. Backlund was at this best at the end of a feud where he had to go off to beat someone and that’s what he did here. This was either their fourth or fifth match against each other and Patterson had beaten him before. This was fun stuff though and it worked very well.

Time for an assortment of Backlund defenses, most of which will be in MSG. From December 17, 1979.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bobby Duncum

This is a Texas death match but I’m not sure if we’re going by what that traditionally means or if it’s just a No DQ match. In a traditional match you pin the guy and they have ten seconds to get up. Think last man standing but you have to pin to get a count started. The President of the WWF, Hisashi Shinma, holds up the title. This is where things get confusing: the WWF didn’t acknowledge the title ever leaving Backlund so the fans have no idea what is going on.

It appears that this is just a No DQ match. LONG feeling out period to start as we just wait around for something substantial to happen. Backlund gets a headlock and holds onto that for awhile. So DEADLY. This is a regular match so far as we hit the headlock one more time for fun. Backlund is put together which is really surprising considering how basic he would be known for looking like.

He CRANKS on that thing though and it looks painful if nothing else. The problem is that it’s just a headlock. Backlund goes over the top and over the rail as this picks up some much needed steam. No count outs either here. And then a sunset flip ends this. WHAT THE HECK? That’s it??? The crowd pops like crazy but I have no idea why as this was REALLY boring.

Rating: D-. As a regular match this was pretty good but as a death match this is about as close to a failure as you can get without being one. The pop of the crowd is the only reason I popped it up a bit. The big spot was a backdrop over the top rope. I have no idea why this was supposed to be a big deal but it just didn’t work at all. If it was a regular match it would have been decent but as a death match match it was horrible.

Still in New York on May 19, 1980.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Ken Patera

Pater is defending Intercontinental Champion and this is officially a death match, which means anything goes. Patera allows his manager, the Grand Wizard, to remove his warmup gear. Backlund is immediately sent to the floor and stomped down as Patera stands tall. The champion (only Backlund will be referred to as champion for the sake of simplicity) comes right back and sends Patera out to the floor before pounding him on the way back in. Backlund punches him in the head and chokes away with the ropes a bit.

Ken comes back with a front facelock which he transitions into a chinlock to keep control. Backlund fight up but has his shoulder sent into the post to stop the comeback dead in its tracks. Paters tries to send the shoulder in again but gets sent face first into the buckle instead. A backdrop puts Bob on the floor and the champion is in trouble. Back in and Patera drops a top rope double ax handle for two.

Off to a bearhug by Ken who is a very strong man in his own right. Backlund finally escapes with a right hand and the atomic drop to send Patera into the ropes. A jumping piledriver gets a close two count on Patera and a suplex gets the same. Backlund is whipped into the Tree of Woe (hanging upside down in the corner) where Patera chokes away. The champion is dropped throat first on the top rope for two but he comes back with a fast rollup for two.

A suplex by Patera gets a delayed one count and both guys are exhausted. Backlund avoids a charge in the corner and hooks an abdominal stretch. The hold stays on for awhile but Patera makes the rope. It doesn’t matter in this kind of a match though so Ken hip tosses Backlund up and over to the floor. Once outside Patera hits Backlund in the head with the title belt to knock the champion silly. The champion is busted open and after he gets back in, Patera pounds him right back to the floor.

Back in once again and Backlund gets in a kick to the chest to put both guys down. The champion is back up first and is all fired up. He throws Ken out to the floor and sends him into the steel barricade and then into the post. Now Patera is busted open and Backlund pounds away at the cut. The challenger comes back with a low blow to get himself a breather and now it’s Backlund in trouble. Patera goes up top but gets slammed back down to the mat. A middle rope punch by Backlund gets two but Patera sends him back to the floor.

Backlund gets hit in the face with a chair and we head back inside, only for Patera to miss a chair shot in the corner. Now Backlund gets the chair and smashes it over Ken’s head twice in a row, but THAT only gets two. Bob goes up to the top rope again and a high cross body is FINALLY enough to keep Patera down and retain the title.

Rating: A. Yeah it was just the other opponents. This was a GREAT match with two guys beating the tar out of each other for over twenty minutes. The weapons used made the No DQ rule mean something which is what the previous death match was lacking. Backlund was pushed to the limit here and when he snapped, Patera was trying to survive rather than win, which made for a good story. The match won Match of the Year in the prestigious Wrestling Observer Newsletter and it’s not hard to see why.

Post match Patera calls Backlund a cheater and gets dropkicked to the floor as a result.

Here’s a fairly well known match from MSG on October 19, 1981.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Greg Valentine

The Grand Wizard has yet another new client in Greg Valentine. Backlund has Arnold Skaaland with him, who has managed both Sammartino as well as the current champion. This is a regular one on one match rather than the death matches we’ve been looking at. It’s a feeling out process to start with Valentine hooking a quick armdrag for not much effect. A slam puts Backlund down again and Bob isn’t sure what to do. Backlund comes back with an armdrag and hip toss of his own to stagger Valentine and Greg wants a breather.

Greg comes back with some right hands to the ribs in the corner but it results in a standoff instead of an advantage. A quick shoulder to the ribs of Valentine staggers him a bit so they try a test of strength. Valentine fires off some shots to the ribs to take over before going to work on the champion’s knee. There’s a half crab from Valentine and Backlund is in some trouble. Backlund fights up and escapes the hold via a monkey flip but Greg gets in a shot to the back of the head to take over again.

The challenger goes back to the leg by cranking on the ankle before shifting over to the ribs via an abdominal stretch. Bob reverses into one of his own but Valentine goes back to the knee to take control once again. Valentine cranks on a leg lock before dropping some elbows on the bad leg. A spinning toe hold works on the leg even more but Bob kicks him away. They trade forearms to the face but both guys collapse down to the mat.

Backlund is up first but a slam attempt fails, giving Valentine a two count. Greg hits him in the knee again but still can’t put on the Figure Four Leg Lock. Instead Valentine kicks him to the floor before pounding away at Backlund on the ring apron. Back in again and Bob is getting fired up as the blows from Greg are having less effect each time. The champion starts hammering away on Valentine’s leg now, wrapping it up in the ropes and kicking at the inner thigh.

Bob knocks him down again but can only get two. A suplex gets the same for Valentine but Backlund comes back with one of his own for a delayed two count. A cross body gets two for the champion but Valentine chokes him down with the ring rope. Greg goes for the leg again and hooks the Figure Four but it’s not on that well. Backlund is easily able to roll into the ropes to break the hold but some damage has been done. Bob comes back with a piledriver out of nowhere and Valentine is in trouble.

Greg gets into the ropes to avoid being covered before going back to the knee. Backlund fights out of another Figure Four attempt but can’t avoid the shots to the knee in the corner. A middle rope elbow drop misses Backlund though and the champion has an opening. They trade headbutts from their knees before Backlund hooks a belly to back suplex to put both guys down again. Valentine gets back up and puts Backlund in an airplane spin during which the referee is accidentally kicked in the head by the champion. Greg is dizzy from spinning Backlund around though and Bob falls on top of him for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was another good match as Backlund is starting to find his rhythm as champion a mere four years into his title reign. The idea here of Valentine trying to get the Figure Four time after time but never being able to hook it properly was a good story throughout the match but the fact that it didn’t play into the finish hurt things a bit. The finish however is the most important part of the match for reasons yet to be explained.

Time for a little change of scenery. From Philadelphia on February 22, 1982.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bob Orton Jr.

This is Orton’s return it seems. This is called the main event despite three more matches after this. Backlund outmoves him to start and trips Orton easily. Orton, a very good scientific wrestler in his own right, can’t keep up with Backlund at all and almost gets sent to the floor because he can’t even stand up when Backlund goes after him. There’s an abdominal stretch by the champ but Orton escapes.

Backlund hooks a top wristlock so Orton braces against the referee to backflip out of it. The champ trips him immediately but it was a cool visual. We get a test of strength and Backlund monkey flips him over but maintains the grip. Off to a bodyscissors as this is all Backlund so far but he’s not doing much damage. Instead he’s getting in Orton’s head which is a lot more interesting.

Backlund fakes him out on two monkey flips so Orton tries an elbow. Backlund avoids THAT and Orton is ticked off so he heads to the outside to cool off a bit. Backlund looks awesome so far. Orton tries an armdrag and is IMMEDIATELY taken into a headscissors. Backlund is so fast. I just realized they’re both named Bob so I had to go back and edit that name out. Pinfall reversal sequence results in a backslide for two for Backlund.

Orton wants a handshake and actually doesn’t sucker Backlund in. They go to the ropes and Backlund gives him a clean break but the Cowboy doesn’t, smashing Backlund with an elbow. Out to the floor and Backlund goes into the steel as Orton takes over. Backlund gets whipped over the railing and may have hurt his back. Somehow he’s not counted out so Orton stomps on him some more.

Here comes the superplex which is Orton’s finisher. Why can’t more people use basic moves like that and have them be built up as finishers? Anyway Backlund breaks that up and hits a middle rope forearm to knock Orton into the corner. Backlund hooks a suplex and pounds on Orton. Orton is in big trouble and rolls to the floor. Back inside and Backlund hits a not that great piledriver for two.

Orton comes back with a belly to back suplex and both guys are down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton gets his knee up in the corner to take Backlund down. Orton goes lucha and tries a Vader Bomb but it gets knees. Backlund knocks him to the floor which doesn’t last long as Backlund knees him in the head and dropkicks him right back to the floor. Now Orton is running which is where we get to the interesting part of Backlund which I’ll get to later. Out to the floor and Orton finds a rope from somewhere to choke Backlund with and the champ misses the count, giving Orton the win.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match as Backlund was the guy who was rather uninteresting until he was pushed to the edge when he would blow everyone away like he did here with Orton. He’s a fun guy to watch and would be even better in stuff like Texas Death Matches where his back was to the wall and he had to fight for everything he had, which he could do quite well. Fun match and by far the best of the night so far.

Back to MSG one more time on October 17, 1983.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Masked Superstar

Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition so there’s a chance I’ll call him Ax from time to time. They go to the mat quickly and Backlund is more than fine with that. Backlund takes him back down again with a headlock. Superstar runs him over and tries another headlock on the mat but Bob breaks that up with ease. We hear about Eddie Gilbert being injured by Superstar, which is a show I’ve actually seen.

The champion controls with a headscissors on the mat to frustrate the big guy. Now it’s an armbar as Backlund is picking him apart with whatever body part he cares to work on at the moment. For some reason Superstar keeps trying amateur stuff on Backlund and it fails more and more each time.

Backlund runs over the bigger guy and we get a botched sequence as Superstar tries what looked like a cross body but Backlund didn’t drop at first. It looked like Superstar was trying a jumping tornado DDT but since the regular version didn’t exist yet, he fell on Backlund after spinning around a bit. Really bad looking move but it’s more on Backlund than Superstar, which is rare to see from him.

They slug it out a bit and Backlund goes right back to the arm to keep control. This time it’s a hammerlock so at least he’s mixing things up somewhat. We’re almost ten minutes into this and about six of those have been arm work. Superstar knocks him to the floor to get his first I guess you would say advantage of the match. Backlund finally gets back in and a high knee to the shoulder (supposed to be the face) gets two.

Time for a chinlock as Superstar isn’t much for offense I guess. Backlund fights out of it with punches as this becomes a slugout. Flying headbutt gets two for Superstar. Another attempt at it hits the mat though and Backlund is getting all fired up. He pounds on the arm and tries the chickenwing but Superstar makes the rope very quickly. A clothesline sets up Superstar’s neckbreaker finisher but he won’t cover. Instead he takes Backlund outside and hits the neckbreaker out there which gives him the countout win.

Rating: C. This was basically a Backlund squash for the first ten minutes and then a pretty uninteresting match for the remaining five minutes. Superstar didn’t really do anything until the end with the neckbreaker, which goes to show you how devastating any move can be if it’s sold right. Why he wouldn’t go for the cover is beyond me but whatever.

Backlund would disappear from mainstream wrestling for about for about ten years, only appearing in the indies. He would return to the WWF in late 1992 for one last run. From December 21, 1992 on Prime Time.

Bob Backlund vs. Skinner

Feeling out process to start as Gorilla starts talking about the Bushwhackers. Backlund easily counters a headlock into a drop toehold to send Skinner outside. Back in and Skinner wins a test of strength before trying a rollup, only to have Backlund reverse into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: D. This was actually kind of horrible with almost no chemistry and both guys looking on completely different pages. Skinner was nothing special around this point and had long since past his peak. To be fair this was one of Backlund’s first matches in a good while so you have to cut him some slack.

Backlund would get back into the swing of things at the Royal Rumble. I don’t usually do this but he was in this one for awhile. From the 1993 Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

DiBiase tosses out Knobs and we’re down to four in the ring again. Here’s the pretty new Jerry Lawler at #7 in a HUGE cape. I think he’s a heel here but Flair grabs him for some chops almost immediately. Flair goes to the floor through the middle ropes so Virgil goes after Lawler. Flair gets back in and Jerry immediately goes after him. Oh never mind as Heenan is praising Lawler. He’s a heel alright.

Max Moon (presumably played by Konnan) is #8. He hits a few moves and is dumped by Lawler before anyone else shows up. Lawler’s attire is really intricate here with lots of writing on it instead of the usual two color design. I kind of like it for a change. Japanese legend Genichiro Tenryu is #9 and he starts a chop-off with Flair as you would expect them to do.

Things slow down a bit until Mr. Perfect is #9 at a full sprint. Heenan: “OH NO! OH DEAR GOD NO!!!” Perfect immediately goes after Flair so Ric goes to the top. There’s the slam off the top and the Hennig Neck Snap as Heenan is having a heart attack. We hear about the loser leaves the WWF match tomorrow on Raw between the two of them, which is a very rare match for some reason.

Skinner is #11 and he does nothing before Perfect shoves Flair out to a HUGE pop. Lawler (looking very different here for some reason that I can’t place) pounds away on Hennig as we’re back down to six people in there. That’s usually the right amount so thankfully they’ve gotten through the first third without things getting too hectic. Koko B. Ware and those big green pants of his are #12. Heenan: “Koko B. Ware could go to Wrestlemania to face Bret Hart. Gorilla: “What’s wrong with that?” Heenan: “IT SHOULD BE RIC FLAIR!!!”

Perfect dropkicks Skinner out and not a lot is going on again. Here’s Samu at #13, giving us a group of Backlund, DiBiase, Tenryu, Virgil, Perfect, DiBiase, Lawler and Ware. Lawler and Perfect keep going at it in a feud that could have been AMAZING in Memphis. Berzerker is #14 as we need to get rid of some people in there. Lawler misses a charging punch on Perfect and there he goes. With Perfect distracted, DiBiase and Ware team up (you’ll NEVER hear that again) to kick him out with an assist from Lawler. Virgil was thrown out during that melee, getting us down to just six again.

The Undertaker is #15 to a BIG pop. Gorilla calls him the odds on favorite. I’m not sure I’d go that far but whatever. Berzerker goes to the floor and beats up Backlund (not eliminated) with a chair. Taker puts Samu out and no sells a lot of Tenryu’s stuff before dumping him as well. We’ve got Backlund (mostly dead on the floor), Taker, Berzerker, DiBiase and Ware in at the moment. Terry Taylor (he still had a job at this point?) is in at #16 and he’s gone in less than thirty seconds thanks to DiBiase, as is Ware.

There’s a chokeslam to DiBiase and Taker dumps him, leaving Berzerker against Taker. In one of the biggest “oh great it’s this guy” moments ever, Giant Gonzales debuts as Taker dumps Berzerker. Gonzales, a legit 7’7 tall, stares down at Taker as Damien Demento (don’t ask) is #17. Gonzales chops Taker out for an illegal elimination. In case you’re not familiar, Gonzales is a monster who makes Great Khali look like Lou Thesz. Speaking of Khali, he was literally the same character as Gonzales in a repeat of the same exact story the Undertaker was involved in in 1992. In short, both of them sucked and were really tall.

Gonzales destroys Taker for a bit as Demento still won’t get in. IRS is #18 as the Giant is still beating up Taker. It’s IRS, Backlund and Demento at the moment with Taker out cold in the corner. Tatanka is #19 as Paul Bearer uses the Urn to revive Taker. This of course is all the fans focus on, making the match in the ring look even less interesting than it already is, which is saying a lot when you think about it. Lots of choking ensues until Jerry Sags is #20.

There is NOTHING going on here and I don’t think Typhoon at #21 is going to help things at all. Fatu is #22 and my goodness I have never heard more silence for an entrance. NOTHING is going on here and Earthquake is #23. He immediately goes after….Typhoon, his partner. They have a fat man brawl for a bit until Quake dumps him out. Carlos Colon, aged 44 and called a youngster by Monsoon is #24.

Colon dumps Demento as the eliminations are keeping the crowd on life support. Quake can’t put Backlund out as Tito Santana is #25. Fatu misses a charge at Backlund and eliminates himself. We’ve got Quake, Backlund, Santana, IRS, Tatanka, Colon and Sags in there at the moment. Rick Martel is #26 who is STILL feuding with Santana. Why did they never have a big match to blow off that feud? It went on for like four years or so.

Earthquake dumps IRS and now we get to the first interesting part of the match in WAY too long: Backlund is sent to the apron and the crowd collectively gasps until he gets back in. Gorilla actually swears at how big the reaction is. Yokozuna is #27 and it’s time to clear some space. Yoko and Tatanka chop it out and there goes the guy with red hair (figure out which is which).

Colon is out and it’s time for the fat man showdown with Quake vs. Yoko. They collide a few times and no one moves so Quake pounds him into the corner. Owen Hart is #28. Quake splashes Yoko in the corner but the second attempt misses. Yoko suplexes Quake out and that more or less seals the winner. Repo Man is #29 and is immediately dropped by Yoko. Everybody gangs up on Yoko and it doesn’t work at all.

Randy Savage is #30, giving us a final group of Savage, Yokozuna, Repo Man, Owen, Martel, Santana, Sags and Backlund. They’re not even trying to hide the winner at this point. Yoko dumps Tito as Owen dropkicks Sags out. Owen skins the cat to save himself before being dumped by Yoko and possibly injuring his knee. Repo is out and we’re down to four. Backlund actually picks up Martel to sit him on top and punches him out. The place is WAY into Backlund here, so he goes after Yoko. A pair of dropkick put Yoko against the ropes but Backlund charges into the elimination, drawing a standing ovation.

So it’s Savage vs. Yoko and the beating of the small man begins. Yoko flattens him over and over again until Savage fires off a bunch of kicks out of the corner. The fans are trying to get behind Savage and there’s a top rope ax handle. One to the back gets Yoko down to one knee. Uh…why would you want to knock a guy this big DOWN in a battle royal?

Either way he superkicks Savage to knock him down again and there’s the belly to belly. The legdrop crushes Savage but the Banzai Drop misses. In one of the STUPIDEST endings ever to the Rumble, Savage hits the elbow and COVERS, getting launched over the top rope on the kickout to send Yoko to Las Vegas for the title shot.

Rating: D. This was one of the worst Rumbles of all time. The main problem here is the period after Taker, the only guy you could actually see eliminating Yoko, was eliminated. From then until the time Backlund got close to the longevity record (which he got), there’s NOTHING. It’s a bunch of lame midcarders standing around lifting each others’ legs in the air. Why would I want to see that at all? Anyway, nothing to see here and a BAD Rumble.

Backlund’s roll would continue on Raw, March 15, 1994.

Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango

Backlund trips him up a few times as I have to listen to the horrible Rob Bartlett on commentary. He was a comedian who was given this spot for no explained reason. Shango takes over with a test of strength but Bob grabs the arm and drives an elbow into the nose. Papa comes back with a backbreaker as Rob goes into a horrible Vince impression. Papa chokes with a boot in the corner, making Backlund look shocked that someone would cheat. We hit the chinlock for a LONG stretch as Gorilla wants to beat up Heenan and Bartlett. A slam gets two on Backlund but he grabs a small package for a surprise pin.

Rating: D. That chinlock just would not end. Shango is the kind of guy that was a nice contrast to Backlund but it didn’t work here. Interesting bit of trivia: Shango was rumored to be brought back and be revealed as the reason Backlund went nuts in 1994. Thankfully this didn’t happen and was never mentioned at all but it would have been different.

Eventually Backlund would go insane and insist on being called Mr. Bob Backlund. This new insane character would get a WWF Title shot at Survivor Series 1994 against Bret Hart. The idea is someone has to throw in the towel to end the match.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and this is a submission match. This is a special kind of submission match though as both guys have seconds and you have to throw in the towel to end the match. Bret has British Bulldog and Backlund has Owen Hart. Backlund was making a comeback in his 40s and was a plucky face before going completely insane and claiming that he was still champion from when his reign ended in 1983 because his manager threw in the towel and he never gave up. Bret and Owen’s parents are in the crowd. Remember that.

Backlund charges at Bret but gets hipblocked down a few times. Bret headbutts him to the floor and elbowed upon return. Hart hits something like an elevated bulldog (think Orton’s hanging DDT) to take over on the mat. Off to a chinlock which evolves into a headlock. Gorilla talks about how Bulldog beat Bret for the IC Title in 92 to try to draw in some tension. Backlund tries to take him to the mat but Bret puts the headlock back on. Bob tries to get the chickenwing on but Bret suplexes him down.

Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Bret goes with a front facelock instead. Off to an abdominal stretch by the Hitman but Bob escapes and goes after the left arm. The chickenwing is escaped again (Backlund’s finisher is a Cross Face Chicken Wing) so Bob bends the arm around the ropes. Off to an armbar on the mat but Bret nips up. Backlund drills Bret to the floor but Hart gets the advantage out there.

Back in and Backlund puts the arm on as the fans all chant LET’S GO BRET. The armbar stays on for a good while (as in like five minutes) before Bret escapes with an atomic drop. He can’t get the Sharpshooter but he settles for the Figure Four. This hold stays on for awhile also and Bob gives up but Owen has to throw in the towel. Backlund tells Owen to throw it in but Owen won’t do it.

Backlund finally turns it over and Owen tells Bulldog to throw it in. Bret reverses it back but Backlund gets to a rope. Bret stays on the leg but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Backlund grabs a piledriver out of nowhere and momentum shifts again. Bob goes for the Chicken Wing but Bret gets to the ropes. We’re about twenty minutes into this and it feels like about half of that. The fans are WAY behind Bret here still too which is a good sign.

Back to the arm but Backlund misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Bret blocks another piledriver attempt but hooks a sleeper, which is broken pretty fast because it’s not really a submission move. They hit head to head and both guys go down. For a guy who was about 45 at this point, Backlund has looked great. Now Bret piledrives Bob and hits a bulldog to take over.

The Five Moves Of Doom culminate with the Sharpshooter but Owen runs in to deck his brother and break up the hold. Now we get to the turning point of the match as Davey charges at Owen but misses and rams his own head into the steps. He’s out cold and there’s no one to throw in Bret’s towel. Owen panics and the distraction lets Backlund put on the full Chicken Wing even though Bret had his hand on the rope at the beginning of the hold and a rope break was used earlier in the match but I digress.

Backlund has the hold on in the middle of the ring as Owen begins to get concerned about Bret. He says he’s sorry and Backlund takes Bret down to the mat with the hold. Smith still hasn’t moved and Bret is trying to fight up. Bret gets to his feet but can’t get the rope as Backlund pulls him down and puts on the bodyscissors along with the hold. Owen starts crying which Vince declares the TRUE Owen.

Vince says you can lose if you say you quit, which goes against what we saw earlier with Backlund but it’s the WWF so you can’t count on continuity. We go split screen to look at Bret’s parents as Bret has been in this hold for over four minutes. Owen goes over to plead to his mom (not Stu because Stu is smarter than this) as Bret is in agony. Bret taps but that doesn’t mean anything yet. The hold has now been on for six straight minutes and the fans are still behind Bret. The maniacal look on Bob’s face is great.

Owen begs his mom for help again and opens the barricade to bring his parents to ringside. Stu still doesn’t seem to buy anything Owen is saying. Owen picks up Bret’s towel and says for Helen to throw it in but Stu says no way. Owen gets the fans to cheer for Helen to throw in the towel and after nine and a half minutes in the hold, Helen takes the towel from Stu and throws it in, giving Backlund the title and STUNNING the fans. Owen throws his arms in the air and celebrates, sprinting to the back in triumph, because it was a SWERVE.

Rating: A. This match definitely isn’t for everyone, but if you’re a fan of old school matches and psychology, you’re going to love this match. The whole thing is a massive story with the execution being done perfectly (or with excellence if you like plays on catchphrases). Bret and Backlund are both master technicians so the in ring stuff is as close to flawless as you’re going to get. The stuff with Owen is great too and the whole match is almost perfect. It runs about thirty five minutes though and if you’re not a fan of mat stuff and building to a big finish, you’re going to hate this.

One other thing: I’d like to point out that Davey Boy Smith has been out cold for almost eleven minutes now, hasn’t moved an inch, and is likely clinically dead yet hasn’t received any attention at all. Owen stepped over him about four times in the whole sequence.

The rematch, also a submission match, from Wrestlemania XI.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Bret pounds away to start and sends Backlund hard into the corner. An early Sharpshooter attempt is blocked so Bret drops an elbow. Bret keeps pounding on him and Piper asks if Backlund quits way too often. Another Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so here’s a Figure Four by Bret instead. Backlund turns it over but Bret lets go before it goes badly for him.

Off to a leg lock by Hart as the match slows down a bit. We hear about Bret hating Japanese people which was an angle that didn’t go anywhere. Backlund grabs at Bret’s face to escape before finally just kicking Hart in the face. Bob starts going after the arm but Bret avoids the chickenwing. Instead it’s a Fujiwara Armbar and the fans are getting restless. Bob pounds on the arm even more with an armbar as Piper asks Bret if he gives up for about the dozenth time.

Bret finally fights back and hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work but Bret misses a charge into the corner, going shoulder first into the post. Bob hooks the chickenwing but Bret reverses into one of his own. Backlund yells incoherently which apparently counts as a submission, giving Bret the win.

Rating: D+. I love the original version of this but the rematch didn’t work at all. For one thing, a match about making someone quit with guys of this caliber should probably be longer than ten minutes. On top of that, it was really dull stuff. This didn’t work at all and even Bret has said it’s one of his least favorite matches ever.

After retiring and actually running for Congress, Backlund would be referenced over and over again in Kevin Nash’s Paparazzi Championship Series in TNA, which is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. I have no idea what it was supposed to do or mean but it cracked me up. Anyway, Backlund actually appeared and wrestled some matches, including this one at Slammiversary 2007.

Bob Backlund vs. Alex Shelley

Backlund is one of those cases where I have no idea what they were thinking when they brought him in. We hear the stories of Backlund not signing autographs unless you can recite all of the presidents in order. Backlund takes him down with ease and the fans are mostly on Shelley’s side. They slug it out a bit and Backlund takes him into a short armed scissors. Backlund uses the British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels counter (which should be called the Backlund counter but whatever).

Backlund hits a gorgeous butterfly suplex and then an atomic drop which used to be Backlund’s finisher. Sabin runs in to trip him up but gets crotched on the top. Shelley gets dropped into Sabin’s balls and a bridging O’Connor Roll beats Shelley clean. Yes, Bob Backlund just destroyed the Motor City Machineguns by himself in less than four minutes.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but this is a great example of “what were they thinking”. I mean don’t get me wrong, Backlund is a legend, but this is the year 2007. Who are they really appealing to with him? This one isn’t about me being mad about him being there, but more of genuine confusion. I don’t get this one at all.

And one more from Victory Road 2007.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jerry Lynn/Bob Backlund

The Guns have Nash with them. This is another of those bizarre angles that only happens in a company like TNA. For a 57 year old guy, Backlund is in great shape. Apparently Backlund was a problem for TNA as he disappeared from his hotel on the morning of the PPV. The reason: he walked the five miles from the hotel to the Impact Zone and left earlier than everyone else.

He’s an odd one, but if I can look like that at his age I’ll be happy. It’s weird seeing Sabin just getting out wrestled by Backlund. Both guys tag and we get dueling geriatric/LET’S GO JERRY chants. Shelley does all these flips and twists and Lynn just stands there and watches him until he stops so he can throw a hold on him. That was hilarious. I love when people do that.

One of my favorite moments ever was just after Joe debuted he was fighting Puma and Puma went up top for this big flip and Joe just took a step to the side and let him crash. Why over complicate things? This has been more or less ALL old guys so far. Shelley spits water in his face to take over. West declares that you can’t prance. Good to know.

Heat grabbing 101 (missed tag) allows more beatings on Lynn. Backlund storms the ring and just beats the tar out of everyone in sight. And then Nash comes in to kick Backlund in the head to set up the AS/CS Rush for the pin on Jerry. Now remember boys and girls, as good as they are, they’re not allowed to win the tag titles.

Rating: C-. Entertaining, but again I ask, so what? This put the focus on Nash more than anything else. I just do not get the point in doing this ending other than to protect the old guys and let the new guys say they won. It’s either really basic or really stupid and I’m leaning towards the second given the track record here.

Bob Backlund is one of the most interesting wrestlers in history. The guy could get on a mat with anyone but he’s also borderline insane. The problem was he didn’t have the right kind of charisma to work in the new generation, but he was perfect for the transitional period between Sammartino and Hogan. His Mr. Backlund period was a completely different side to him and while winning the title was too far, he would have been great as an Intercontinental Champion around that time. He’s very entertaining though and as skilled on the mat as almost anyone you’ll ever find.

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Today is maybe my favorite ECW wrestler: Tajiri.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. El Gran Apache

They shake hands to start and we’re ready to go. Apache takes him down to the mat and does a headstand to escape a wristlock. They stay on the mat with Apache holding him in a leg lock. Armdrags don’t get Tajiri anywhere as he keeps getting thrown down. Instead a kick puts Apache down but he chops the skin off Tajiri’s chest. Tajiri goes to the corner for a wrist drag, only to get hiptossed back down.

Apache is just outclassing Tajiri right now. Both guys nip up and it’s Tajiri cranking on a headlock. Gran reverses into a headscissors before they speed things up again with Apache nailing a high cross body. Tajiri is sent outside and gets taken down by a big plancha. Back in and Tajiri escapes another armbar and nails a dropkick for two.

Apache easily fights out of a chinlock and hits a backsplash before punching Tajiri down in the corner. A suplex gets two for Gran but Tajiri comes back with some running dropkicks in the corner. Apache avoids a moonsault and grabs a bad looking reverse sunset flip (as in he starts like you usually would but falls back instead of going forward) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting and it worked really well. The problem here is Tajiri hasn’t figured out a character yet so he was just a guy in trunks doing what he could. Apache is a veteran who had forgotten more than Tajiri had ever learned at this point so it wasn’t much of a contest. Tajiri was trying though.

Tajiri would get a one off appearance in the WWF on Raw, April 22, 1996.

Godwinns vs. Tajiri/Ken Patterson

Tajiri, who looks to be about a foot and a half shorter, starts with Phineas. A cross body doesn’t work but Phineas misses an elbow drop. Henry and Patterson come in and here comes Sunny with the Tag Team Titles. Hillbilly Jim runs her off with his hound dog as Henry slams Patterson. Back to Phineas for some headbutts before Henry ends Ken with a Slop Drop.

Rating: D. This was a preview for Sunday’s title match when the Godwinns would challenge the Body Donnas. The match was nothing more than a squash with an angle involved, which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. However it’s what Raw consisted of back in the day so you had to get used to it.

Back to Japan for the January 4, 1997 NJPW Dome Show.

Shinjiro Otani vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Tajiri pulls his hand back on a handshake before kicking Otani in the face to start. More kicks in the corner have Otani in trouble and Tajiri stays on the arm. A German suplex gets two on Otani and Shinjiro is reeling. He comes back out of nowhere with a dropkick to the knee and Otani has a target. We hit a leg lock for a good bit until Tajiri crawls over to the ropes. Otani takes him into the corner for a facewash, followed by a spinning kick to the face.

They slap it out and both guys go down in a sudden fall. Otani is up first but misses a missile dropkick and gets caught in a German suplex for two. Tajiri throws him outside and nails an Asai moonsault to put both guys down. They head back inside and Otani counters a kick into a quickly broken ankle lock.

Tajiri rolls him around in a sunset flip for two and hooks a top rope hurricanrana for the same. A second hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb, followed by a sitout powerbomb from Otani. He lets Tajiri up though and hits a springboard spinwheel kick (the same kind of kick that Tajiri hit him with at the beginning) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff with both guys nailing each other. The fact that I have no idea what was going on here but I could figure out what kind of story they were telling is a very impressive thing. Tajiri disrespected the bigger star in Otani and the veteran wasn’t going to stand for it. Good stuff.

It’s off to ECW at this point with Tajiri starting around Guilty As Charged 1999.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Both guys are new to the company. These two fought roughly 90,000 times and this is one of the first. Super Crazy is a high flying luchador and Tajiri is a hard striking wrestler from Japan. He’s clean shaven here but would eventually grow a beard and become one of ECW’s better workers. This is the kind of a match that ECW needed to fill out their pay per view cards and have exciting, non-hardcore matches. Feeling out process to start and Crazy won’t throw a closed fist. We get a very fast paced sequence with both guys taking the other to the mat for arm trap cradles for two each.

A tornado DDT drops Tajiri but he comes back with some very hard kicks to the head to take over. Back up and they trade chops to the chest before Tajiri kicks the knee out. Off to a leg bar on Crazy but he gets to the ropes and bails to the floor. That’s fine with Tajiri who nails a HUGE Asai moonsault. They fight to the apron and Tajiri hooks the Tarantula (a Boston crab over the ropes) but as always it doesn’t last long.

Crazy comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to send Tajiri to the floor followed by a HUGE flip dive to keep Crazy in control. A moonsault off the barricade crushes Tajiri before sending him back inside for a surfboard. Crazy keeps the hold on and bends Tajiri back into a dragon sleeper with the legs still bent back for a PAINFUL looking hold. Back up and Tajiri dropkicks the knee out and hits a huge dive to the floor (with Crazy nice enough to stand there with his arms open so Tajiri could hit him).

Tajiri slowly gets up first and kicks Crazy in the head. Back inside and a spinwheel kick to the face gets two for Tajiri but he comes back with a majistral cradle for two but Tajiri comes back with one of his own for the same. Crazy flips out of a German suplex attempt and hits a moonsault press for two. Tajiri heads outside again and another dive takes him down. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Tajiri down but he rolls through a tornado DDT.

Tajiri gets caught in a reverse tornado DDT but is able to counter a powerbomb into a DDT of his own. Tajiri blocks a moonsault by raising his boots before nailing a sunset bomb for two. Back up and Crazy hits a sitout powerbomb for another two so Tajiri does the same to him. As Crazy is kicking out though, Tajiri keeps his legs around Crazy’s arms and rolls him around the ring. They slug it out until Tajiri hooks a dragon suplex (full nelson suplex) for the pin.

Rating: B+. Yes it was a spot fest, but here’s the difference between this and the other spot fests that I’ve complained about so far: this was all them. There wasn’t a table and chair being brought in every five minutes and there weren’t a bunch of spots that had almost no effect at all. It was two guys doing whatever they could think of with just their bodies and the ring (plus the occasional barricade) to beat each other. Also it was only about twelve minutes instead of double that, meaning it didn’t overstay its welcome. This was very entertaining stuff and the best match ECW has had in awhile.

Another match from Hardcore Heaven 1999.

Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Guido comes to the ring sitting on Big Sal’s shoulders. Tajiri spits at Big Sal in some rare emotion before the bell. He’s back to hailing from Yokohoma, Japan. The now serious Guido catches an incoming kick and takes Tajiri to the mat for some ground and pound. He works on the leg but gets flipped over, allowing Tajiri to fire off kicks to the head. Guido comes back with some stomping in the corner and puts on a Fujiwara armbar.

A missile dropkick sends Tajiri out to the floor but he sidesteps a dive over the ropes. Tajiri dives onto the Italians and takes Guido down but Sal only loses his sunglasses. Back in and Guido loses half of his trunks when Tajiri grabs a sunset flip. The Tarantula has Guido in agony but Sal makes a save. Guido tries a headscissors but gets sent to the ramp. He comes back with a slingshot legdrop to drive Tajiri’s head onto the ramp, good for two back inside.

Back in and Tajiri gets caught in another Fujiwara armbar but lets it go and distracts the referee so Big Sal can powerslam Tajiri. We hit a keylock (arm hold) on Tajiri but he breaks it up with a low blow. Guido wins a chop off and gets two off a legdrop. A powerbomb gets the same but Tajiri counters the Boston crab. Dropkicks to the knees put Guido down but Tajiri can’t hook the dragon suplex. Instead he bends Guido over his back and spins him around before slapping the taste out of Guido’s mouth. Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide before a kick to the head and brainbuster put Guido away.

Rating: C+. Tajiri got to show some personality this time and he was more interesting as a result. This was a solid match and again, it was different from the stuff that Tajiri and Crazy had been doing. It’s a good sign for the future as these guys are getting more and more developed every time they’re out there. Solid match.

Tajiri would turn heel around this time and get a World Title shot at Heat Wave 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Tajiri

Taz kicks Tajiri in the head as security comes to help Francine to the back. Tajiri comes back with the handspring elbow and a spinwheel kick sends Taz outside. A huge Asai moonsault over the top rope takes Taz down again. Back in and Taz counters the Tarantula with a whip spinebuster. Tajiri tries a sleeper but gets taken down in a belly to back Tazplex. There’s a head and arms Tazplex for good measure, drawing a shot at Perry Saturn at the same time.

Tajiri comes back with a hard kick to Taz’s weak neck but takes too much time going up, allowing Taz to super Tazplex him down. The hard kicks to the head stagger Taz and a low dropkick to the head gets a near fall. Some hard chops in the corner have Taz in more trouble but he shoves Tajiri off the top and onto Rhino on the ramp. Victory gets shoved down the ramp but pops to his feet, so Taz throws the wheelchair at his face.

Tajiri nails a superkick but runs into a sitout powerbomb on the ramp. Rhino has set up a table on the ramp against the ropes as Taz dares Tajiri to kick him. It’s a trap though as Taz catches a kick coming in and Tazplexes him through the table. Taz chases Corino to the back but Taz comes back with what looks like barbed wire. Joey says go to a wide shot so we can’t really see what Taz is doing. He strangles Tajiri with whatever he brought out and puts on the Tazmission until referees come out and ring the bell. Tajiri apparently tapped out on the ramp which is just as good as in the ring I suppose.

Rating: D+. This was another mess but it worked better than most of Taz’s recent matches. The idea of him having to fight off a whole team of guys worked well enough and even though Tajiri wasn’t going to get the title, he was a solid choice for a one off challenger. The money would seem to be in Corino but we’re likely to get more of that later. Rhino didn’t get physical at all here.

Tajiri would get another shot on the second episode of ECW on TNN on September 3, 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Taz is world champion but would be gone very soon. He would be in the WWF in January. Tajiri has Corino and Victory with him in his corner. You can barely understand the announcer. I think this is non-title. Taz pounds on him to start but walks into the handspring elbow.

Tajiri kicks him in the head and this is for the title. Ok then. Tajiri tries the Tarantula but gets countered into what we would call the Alabama Slam. Head and arms Tazplex and Taz spits in Tajiri’s face. They slug it out and Taz hooks a capture Tazplex to kill Tajiri. Taz hits the crossface shots but gets kicked in the head for two. Tajiri tries a big kick but Taz ducks and the Tazmission ends this quick.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but the crowd LOVED Taz. That being said, he would lose the title at the PPV to Mike Awesome and would say goodbye to ECW. That’s not good because the Dudleys would be leaving really soon also. Tajiri is a guy I’ve been liking more and more lately as those kicks were SWEET.

Here’s a match that was done about a million times in ECW so I have to bring it up. From Anarchy Rulz 1999.

Little Guido vs. Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

This would become a staple of ECW shows for a long time. Tajiri doesn’t have anyone in his corner here. The fans are mostly behind Crazy, who now has Mexican flag inspired attire. Feeling out process to start until Crazy hits a top rope cross body on Guido for two. Tajiri kicks both of them down and goes after Crazy’s knee to take over. Guido gets sent to the ramp, allowing Tajiri to hook a headscissors on Crazy. Super comes back with a springboard missile dropkick but Guido comes in with a springboard cross body for of his own.

Guido and Tajiri make a short lived deal to work on Crazy but Tajiri quickly turns on Guido with a dropkick to the face. More kicks to the legs send Guido to the floor and Crazy puts him in the front row. Crazy dives over the barricade to take him down but Tajiri takes both of them down with a huge Asai moonsault. Sal is in the ring and crushes the non-Italians. Guido nails a middle rope Fameasser to Tajiri and covers Crazy for two.

Tajiri grabs a German suplex for two of his own on Guido before they both head to the floor again. Guido gets dropped ribs first onto the barricade and Tajiri takes him back into the crowd. This time it’s Crazy hitting a huge top rope Asai moonsault over the barricade to take both guys down again. Sal misses a charge and flies through a table to take him out for awhile. Back in and Tajiri puts Crazy in the Tarantula, leaving Crazy wide open for a hard dropkick to the face from Guido.

Crazy pops right back up and puts Tajiri in a surfboard with a dragon sleeper added in. He switches it up to a camel clutch and Guido adds on a Sicilian crab at the same time. Somehow Tajiri doesn’t give up so the hold is broken. Guido hits a quick Tomikaze for two on Crazy but Tajiri puts Guido in the Tree of Woe. A hard baseball slide to the face followed by a top rope moonsault from Crazy is enough to eliminate Guido.

It’s down to Tajiri vs. Crazy as soon as the referee is able to roll the unconscious Guido to the floor. Crazy kicks him down and nails a springboard moonsault for two before hammering away in the corner. The fans are nice enough to count to ten in Spanish as he fires in the right hands.

Tajiri comes right back with the handspring elbow, only to have Crazy nail a quick sitout powerbomb. The fans chant Super Loco but Tajiri counters another powerbomb into a spinning DDT. Crazy is back up first though and nails a reverse tornado DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the three moonsaults but Tajiri gets his knees up to block the second one. A hard kick to Crazy’s head sets up a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was your usual spotfest but well done. There’s nothing wrong with sending three good high fliers out there to fire up the crowd for awhile. It’s not a great match or anything and the first Crazy vs. Tajiri match was more entertaining, but this was a very fun match and a much better choice than a lot of the nonsense ECW puts on pay per view at times. I wouldn’t mind if Tajiri and Crazy got some higher profile matches after this. Guido is a comedy character and shouldn’t be elevated.

Another three way, this time for the TV Title on ECW on TNN, April 14, 2000.

TV Title: Little Guido vs. Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Elimination rules. Crazy is defending but the Network has promised the title to both challengers. It’s a brawl to start with Crazy being knocked to the floor. Guido kicks Tajiri down for two but gets sent to the floor a second later. Crazy comes back in but gets tossed as well by Tajiri. Guido gets kicked in the face by Tajiri but Big Sal crushes Tajiri on the floor. They’re flying around too fast to keep up with right now.

Sal misses a splash against the barricade and Tajiri bails into the crowd. Crazy uses Sal’s back as a launching pad to dive at Tajiri before pounding away on Sal in the ring. Tajiri comes back in to kick a chair into Crazy’s ribs but Guido is back in again to kick Tajiri down as well. A suplex gets two on the champion before he and Guido head to the floor. Crazy is dropped face first onto the concrete but Tajiri sends Guido over the barricade for a superkick to the jaw.

Crazy is busted BAD as Tajiri blasts Guido in the head with a chair, busting him open as well. Tajiri brings in a table but kicks Guido to the floor instead of putting him through it. Sal interferes again to give Guido control again. Crazy continues to stagger around at ringside as the challengers are back inside. Tajiri kicks Sal through a table at ringside before putting Guido in an inverted Gory Special. Even Tajiri is busted open now but he kicks both guys in the head to keep control.

Another table is brought in and placed over Guido who is already under a chair. Crazy is laid on the table but avoids Tajiri’s top rope double stomp, sending it through the table and onto Guido for the elimination. So it’s Crazy vs. Tajiri for the title now with Tajiri blasting him in the face with a chair. A German suplex puts Crazy down for two and here’s the Network. Crazy powerbombs Tajiri down for two and slides in another table.

Tajiri comes back with a crowbar of all things and blasts Crazy in the ribs. The champion kicks him down and gets the crowbar but has to duck the green mist. Another powerbomb puts Tajiri through the table but there’s no one to count. Cue Rhyno for a Gore on Crazy and a piledriver from the apron through the table at ringside. Tajiri covers the corpse that used to be Super Crazy for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This had to happen at some point as Crazy always felt like a placeholder until we got to the important stuff. That being said, it was nice for the 485th edition of this match to actually be worth something. The carnage here was more than they needed, especially when you had three talented guys in there. At least it was exciting though.

Tajiri would have a blood bath at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Corino is completely different now, having abandoned the cowardly character and becoming a serious old school style wrestler who can brawl with anyone. Tajiri has been thrown out of the Network after refusing to hand the TV Title to Rhino, thus turning face in the process. Corino is fighting for the Network here but offers to let Tajiri off. This turns into a racist tirade and Tajiri is ready to fight.

Tajiri misses a big kick to the head and Corino nails him with an enziguri. A hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb to give Steve two but Tajiri comes back with the Tarantula. They head to the ramp where Tajiri nails him with a kick to the ribs and a brainbuster to send Corino to the floor. Corino is already busted so Tajiri bites at the cut as is the custom in ECW. Back in and Steve is put in the Tree of Woe for the sliding kick to the face. There is a pool of blood under Corino’s head.

Tajiri loads up another baseball slide with a chair over Steve’s face but Jack Victory makes the save. Corino comes back with a superkick for one but his long blond hair is now almost entirely red. Steve can’t follow up so Tajiri sets up a table but kicks the edge of it, driving the other end into Steve’s ribs. You can’t see the blond in Corino’s hair anymore. Tajiri clotheslines Corino and Victory down but Corino pops back up with a backdrop through the table for two.

Corino gets two off a fisherman’s suplex and a northern lights gets the same. Steve sets up a table in the corner but gets kicked down to the mat. Tajiri puts on the Octopus Hold and Victory gets the green mist. The distraction lets Steve escape and grab a powerslam for a near fall. Tajiri goes INSANE with some of the fastest kicks and punches I’ve ever seen, followed by a big kick to the head. Corino is laid out on the table and a big double stomp from the top drives him through for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a really solid match with both guys looking great and Corino looking like a warrior out there. It’s a good example of two talented guys being able to have their skills shine through instead of getting bogged down by all the weapons and nonsense. Corino would gain a lot of respect very soon, partially because of this performance.

Tajiri would hook up with Mikey Whipwreck as the Unholy Alliance and challenge the FBI for the Tag Team Titles at November to Remember 2000.

Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Unholy Alliance

The Italians are defending again and there’s no Minister at ringside. Mikey and Mamaluke get things going and hit the mat for a nice technical sequence before Tony gets caught in a spinning side slam. Tajiri sneaks in for a hard kick to Tony’s head and it’s off to Guido to renew an old rivalry. We get another nice technical sequence with Tajiri cranking on the arm and rolling Guido over for two.

Off to Mikey who holds holds Guido’s leg while his throat is over the rope. Tajiri tries to jump over Mikey and onto Guido’s back but mainly just lands on his partner. Instead they both place a chair next to his head and kick the chairs together to crush Guido’s head. Back in and Mikey hits a double Whippersnapper off the middle rope but hurts his shoulder in the process. The match stops for a bit as Mikey has to be taken out on a stretcher.

The fans want Super Crazy but no one comes out to help Tajiri. He helps himself with the green mist but Guido ducks. The Italians take Tajiri down into a Sicilian crab/camel clutch combo but now Crazy comes out to even up the odds. Crazy cleans house until the match settles down with Tajiri stomping a chair onto Guido’s head. Crazy holds up the chair for a dropkick against Guido’s head and the Italian is busted open.

Guido finally escapes for a tag to Mamaluke and the Italians start working on Tajiri’s arm. He’s able to counter the Kiss of Death and nails Guido in the head with a superkick but Mamaluke makes the save. Tajiri finally nails both Italians with the handspring elbow, allowing for the hot tag to Crazy.

The sitout powerbomb gets two on Mamaluke and a running DDT get sthe same on Guido. Everything breaks down again and Sal sends Crazy into the crowd. Tajiri puts Guido in a keylock as Crazy moonsaults off a sign onto Sal. The camera cuts right as contact is made, making the whole thing look stupid. Back inside and Guido grabs a bulldog on Tajiri to break up the Tarantula for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but the Italians as champions just isn’t working. There are other teams that deserve the belts more than they do and the fans aren’t interested in what they’re being given. Crazy or Whipwreck and Tajiri would have been good champions but instead we’re stuck with the same guys holding the belts. They’re good, but they’re not interesting.

It was off to the WWF soon after ECW closed with Tajiri becoming part of the Alliance. Here he is challenging for the Light Heavyweight Title on Raw, August 6, 2001.

Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Tajiri

First of all, Pac has both titles but this is just for one because having one less title means the end of the world as we know it I guess. Second, this is for a WWF Title between two WWF guys, so there’s an Alliance referee. The fans all think X-Pac sucks. They trade kicks and Tajiri takes over with his signature stuff. Pac sends him to the floor and mostly misses his dive. We can hear a voice which I think is the director. Back in, Pac tries something off the top but jumps into Mist and a Buzzsaw Kick to give Tajiri his first title. Too short to rate but Paul says that’s his first major title in the WWF. What’s a minor title then?

Another title shot, this time on Raw from September 10, 2001.

US Title: Tajiri vs. Kanyon

Kanyon takes him into the corner to start but Tajiri gets behind him and fires off the strikes. They go to the corner and the Flatliner gets two for Kanyon. They go to the floor where nothing happens and Tajiri tries a sunset flip coming back in. In a SWEET counter, Kanyon stands up and hooks a northern lights suplex out of the sunset flip attempt for two. Kanyon picks up the belt but Torrie grabs it and swings, hitting Tajiri in the head for two. Kanyon gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Green Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick give Tajiri the title.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match I guess and Torrie looked smoking hot as always, but giving them a total of three and a half minutes didn’t do them any favors. Both of these guys were good in the ring but their characters weren’t going to get them any further than they got here, and that’s ok.

We’ll jump ahead about a year to No Mercy 2002 for yet another title shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is champion here. Tajiri was the referee in a Noble/Nidia match on Smackdown for no apparent reason so Noble kicked his teeth in afterwards. Tajiri gets a baseball slide before the bell rings as that’s a running theme lately. Asai Moonsault hits and that’s about the extent of Tajiri’s offense for awhile.

Nice electric chair by Noble gets two. Pretty much domination by the champion so far. Tazz and Cole imply these three are in a three way relationship or something but that never went anywhere. The commentary is far more sexual in nature than what you would be used to in WWE today.

Jamie gets knocked off the top rope as he tries a suplex so Tajiri gets to miss a moonsault now. He does get a tornado DDT but doesn’t cover for no apparent reason. Both guys down now. Both guys up now. Tajiri unleashes that martial arts rush which is always awesome. Handspring elbow has Jamie in big trouble. German suplex gets two.

There’s the Tarantula and Jamie is reeling. Big kick misses and the Tiger Bomb is countered. There’s the kick and Nidia kisses the referee so he can’t make the count. And there’s the Tiger Bomb for two which is surprising. Tajiri goes for a victory roll but Nidia trips him so Jamie can dive into it for the Owen Hart at Mania X pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and at least they allowed Tajiri to get in more offense than it looked like he was going to get. It’s nothing great or anything like that but this was definitely watchable and the whole thing worked pretty well. It’s a shame no one cared about this or it might have been interesting.

Yet ANOTHER title match at Judgment Day 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri

Ladder match and Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) are champions here. The brawl starts in the aisle as this should be rather good. Benjamin throws Eddie into a ladder and Tajiri takes his medal off. Team Angle beats Tajiri down with Eddie having been slammed into the ladder earlier. Ah there’s Eddie. And so much for that as he gets dropped on Haas’ knee to take care of that. Apparently Team Angle not knowing where a ladder is makes them inexperienced.

Tajiri and Eddie botch the heck out of something as they drop Tajiri onto the floor instead of a ladder. That looked awful. A handspring elbow by Tajiri to the ladder takes it and the champions down. Ladder goes into Charlie’s balls and the look on his face is priceless. Another ladder comes into the ring and Haas gets sandwiched between them as Eddie hits the hilo onto the ladder onto Charlie onto the ladder.

Shelton pulls Tajiri off the ladder and Tajiri’s face hits the rung on the way down. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Shelton powerslams Eddie into the ladder and the challengers are in trouble. This is one of those matches where there are just spots happening with very little going on in between. Not bad but kind of tiring. Team Angle does that jump on the back thing but from a ladder onto the ladder with Tajiri in between. That was awesome looking.

Haas almost gets up there but Eddie pops up to send Haas flying to the floor. The ladder gets wedged between the top and middle rope and Eddie is sent flying into it. Time for the Tajiri kicks and a ladder shot. Tarantula goes onto Haas which gets a big pop. Shelton saves his partner by driving the ladder into the head of the Japanese man. The champions take over again with Eddie in trouble.

The idea here is supposed to be that Team Angle doesn’t know how to win a ladder match due to inexperience. The problem with that is simple: you climb the thing. That’s how you win. See the belts? Go get them! How hard is that? Eddie goes up but Charlie keeps slowing him down.

Shelton goes after him too but Eddie knocks him down and drops a Frog Splash on him in a cool spot. Eddie vs. Charlie on top of the ladder and Charlie takes a sunset bomb to the mat. Always loved that move. Tajiri is finally back and his Mists Shelton to let Eddie grab the belts as we have new champions.

Rating: B-. This was good but the problem is that we’ve seen all this before. The MITB match coming up would make everything else done not called TLC seem weak. This was a good match and belonged on the PPV but it feels pretty worthless all things considered now. Good match, nothing we haven’t seen before though.

In other news, Tajiri gets a title shot at Summerslam 2003.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Rhyno hits a running shoulder to Eddie’s ribs in the corner and powerslams him down for two but Benoit comes back with a German suplex. A belly to back gets two on Tajiri but Eddie makes another save. Benoit is suplexed to the floor and Eddie is left alone with Tajiri, only to have the challenger monkey flip Eddie down for two. Rhyno comes back in and sends Tajiri to the floor but Benoit wants to beat up Eddie himself, triggering a brawl between challengers.

Rhyno gets control again and superplexes Eddie down for two but Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head. Tajiri snaps off the handspring elbow for two on Chris but Rhyno sends Tajiri to the floor, only to have Eddie headscissor him out to the floor. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner for two and it’s Tajiri in again for some hard kicks. Eddie hooks the Lasso From El Paso (Liontamer crossed with the Texas Cloverleaf) on Tajiri but Benoit stops Rhyno from making the save with the Crossface.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Tajiri catches a charging Benoit in the Tarantula and the distraction lets Eddie get the US Title to shield himself from Rhyno’s Gore. Tajiri breaks up the Frog Splash but gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Benoit Swan Dives Rhyno but Tajiri makes a last second save. Tajiri and Benoit fall to the floor and Eddie frog splashes Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B+. This was non-stop action for about eleven minutes and incredibly entertaining as a result. It’s a great example of how wrestling and action can be so much more interesting than whatever drama the McMahons have going on at the moment. Watching these four make save after save is WAY more fun than hearing about Bischoff forcing himself on Linda or Stephanie being FURIOUS with Sable over whatever affair her dad is having this month.

Raw Tag Team Titles this time. From Unforgiven 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Tajiri/Rhyno

Conway/Grenier here. Conway vs. Tajiri starts us off and Tajiri speeds around a lot to take over. Off to Grenier who hits the floor to avoid a Gore. Tajiri comes back in and takes over with a semi-botched tornado DDT. Conway beats on Tajiri and the fans just do not care. Off to a reverse chinlock as the fans chant USA for a Japanese comeback. Rhyno comes in and beats on both French dudes a bit.

This match needs to end like five minutes ago. It’s just boring but you could say that about every tag title match in this period. We hear about Rhyno looking everywhere for a partner as he walks into a double flapjack for two. The flag goes into Conway’s balls but a Gore only gets two. And there’s a flag to the face of Rhyno for the cheap pin.

Rating: F+. This had zero point in being on PPV. It wouldn’t even be a good Raw match, mainly because it went on way too long, getting almost ten minutes. La Resistance would be the heel team of the year for awhile as no one cared at all and it went nowhere at all. The tag division sucked BAD around this point and this is a fine example of it.

One last title shot and this time it’s in Japan. From Raw on February 7, 2005.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen here. Conway and Grenier here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

That’s about it for Tajiri in America as he went back to Japan to wrestle for Hustle and NJPW. He even started his own company called Smash which for some reason had ties to Finland. We’ll wrap it up with one more match from Pro Wrestling Noah on July 22, 2012.

Tajiri vs. Maybach Taniguchi

This appears to be a hardcore or death match as Tajiri comes in holding a barbed wire baseball bat. They’re quickly on the floor with Tajiri being very aggressive and sending Taniguchi into the barricade. He throws a short ladder into the ring and whips the masked Mayback into the ladder in the corner. Tajiri throws the ladder over the ropes to try and hit Taniguchi again but only nails the concrete.

Now we get the opening bell and Taniguchi chokes away back inside. More choking ensues in the corner as this is nowhere near as violent as it seemed it would be. A chokeslam plants Tajiri but he escapes a powerbomb, only to be shoved into the referee. Mayback grabs the ball bat but Tajiri takes it away and drives it into the masked man’s ribs. He rips Taniguchi’s mask open, but it allows Taniguchi to blow red mist into Tajiri’s face. The referee gets up just in time to see Taniguchi blast Tajiri with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was an odd match as it came off looking like a blood feud but turned into a slow paced match for most of the middle. The ending picked things up a bit but it still wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Tajiri going insane could be something interesting to see if he had time though.

Tajiri is a guy who is known for doing one thing but is capable of doing a lot more on top of that. Those kicks are insane though and sound a lot worse than they actually are. Still though, he’s entertaining to watch and still looks good even much later in his career. It’s a shame he couldn’t talk or he could have been a bigger deal.

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Today is one half of the best tag teams in the Biz-A-Ness: Kazarian.

Frankie Kazarian/Keiji Sakoda vs. Kaientai

Funaki and Kaz get things going with the jobber nailing a springboard back elbow to the jaw. The announcers try to get the fans to call their local media and ask for more on the XFL because the thing is already in major trouble. Sakoda comes in and runs Funaki over but walks into a shot to the face from Taka. Kaientai takes over with a camel clutch from Funaki to set up a low dropkick to the face from Michinoku. Sakoda comes back with a clothesline to Funaki and makes the tag to Kazarian as everything breaks down. Funaki sends Sakoda to the floor and a Michinoku Driver gets a fast pin on Kazarian.

Kaz would head to the WWA promotion and open the Retribution PPV.

Kazarian vs. Shark Boy

TNA is around at this point but it’s still in its very early days, so there’s a chance these guys have both been there. It’s a smart move to have guys like these open the show as they should be able to fire up the crowd. Kaz looks almost identical to how he does ten years later, just with longer hair here. The lighting has a blue tint to it here and it sounds like the audio is coming through like normal commentaries do instead of through the arena speakers.

Disco gets the comedy going fast by suggesting that Shark Boy was conceived on the set of Jaws and may be the son of Richard Dreyfuss. Kaz is the heel here and gets caught by an early hiptoss and some chops in the corner. Sharky sends him to the floor and gets caught by a plancha. Kaz is pulled back in but sends Shark Boy into the middle buckle to take over. An atomic drop puts Kaz down and Sharky bites him on the trunks for good measure. The referee gets one too and the fans are way into Shark Boy.

Kaz comes back with a quick leg lariat to take over before getting two off a snap belly to belly suplex. We hit a quick chinlock but Sharky fights up, only to be backdropped out to the floor. Back in and a leg sweep takes Shark Boy down for two but Kaz misses a guillotine legdrop to give us a breather. Shark Boy comes back with right hands and a one knee Codebreaker for two.

Kaz has his head pounded in the corner and there’s a bite by Sharky for good measure. A top rope rana brings Kaz down for two but a SWEET bicycle kick takes Shark Boy down again. Kaz, still “The Future” at this point, hits Back to the Future (a bridging electric chair drop) for two, only to have Shark Boy take him to the corner for the Dead Sea Drop (dragon sleeper flipped over into a Stunner, more commonly known as Diamond Dust) and the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and the perfect kind of match to open a show like this. You take two fast paced guys and let them go out there for six minutes of high spots. It’s nothing great but it didn’t need to be. These are two young guys getting a shot and they did a good enough job with it so it’s a good start here.

It’s off to TNA now with Kaz appearing on Weekly PPV #47 on June 4, 2003. I believe this is his TNA debut.

CM Punk/Frankie Kazarian/Matt Stryker vs. Damian Dothart/Johnny Swinger/Kid Romeo

No not that Striker. Stryker and Romeo get things going with Romeo grabbing an early headlock. Kazarian comes in and gets taken down by a slam for two as the heels (Romeo’s team) triple team for a bit. Swinger comes in legally and gets dropkicked and armdragged before it’s off to Punk. It’s armdrags a go-go until it’s Dothart in to trade headlock takeovers.

Off to Swinger vs. Stryker and more heel cheating gives the bad guys the advantage. Romeo chops on Matt in the corner but has a monkey flip countered into a kind of belly to belly suplex. Dothart grabs a northern lights suplex for two and it’s back to Swinger. He slams Matt down but takes too long walking around, allowing for the hot tag to Kaz. A double clothesline drops Swinger and Dothart as everything breaks down.

Kaz hits a huge dive to take out Swinger on the floor, only to have Damian thrown onto both of them. Punk dives on all three, Romeo dives onto all four, and Stryker adds an Asai moonsault to take everyone down. Back in and Swinger hits a jawbreaker on Matt, only to get caught in a Gory Bomb from Punk. Romeo hits something like White Noise on Punk but gets caught by a DDT from Matt. Kaz comes back in and hits a spinning downward spiral on Dothart for the pin.

Rating: C+. It’s your standard X-Division flying match with everyone going everywhere near the end. That’s a solid idea as it opened the show and got the fans fired up for the rest of the card. It wasn’t the best match in the world but it was entertaining, and that’s all this match needed to be.

Kaz would win the X-Division Title and defend it on Weekly PPV #97 on June 9, 2004.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Frankie Kazarian

From June 9, 2004 with Kaz defending. This is one of the first matches in the six sided ring which debuted six days earlier on the first episode of a show called Impact. It’s strange to see Kaz in Antonio Banderas form nowadays. Feeling out process to start with AJ taking the champion down into a front facelock. Kaz counters into an armbar as the fans tell him that he still sucks. An armdrag gets AJ free and they stare each other down again. Styles grabs the arm for a wristlock but Kaz gets in a shot to the jaw to escape.

Another armdrag sends Kaz out to the floor but he comes back with a wristlock of his own. AJ starts firing off some kicks to the thigh before peppering Kaz with forearms. Kaz sends him into the ropes but AJ drops down to set up the dropkick but the champion wisely heads outside. Back in and Kaz has to escape a Styles Clash attempt so now AJ hits the dropkick and a knee drop for two. Kaz gets sent out to the floor again and the frustration sets in for the champion.

Things start to pick up with AJ throwing Kaz back inside but getting caught by a slingshot DDT onto the apron. Back inside and Kaz suplexes Styles down and pounds away with right hands to the head. AJ tries a sunset flip but Kaz rolls through into a nice spinning neckbreaker for two. An ax handle to the back has AJ in trouble but he comes back with a running forearm in the corner but only hits turnbuckle on the second attempt. Kaz scores with a slingshot dropkick in the corner to knock the wind out of AJ after the miss knocked the senses out of him.

We hit a chinlock for a bit before going outside again with AJ being sent ribs first into the apron. Back in and Kaz snaps AJ’s throat over the top rope but misses his slingshot splash. This has been very good back and forth stuff so far which doesn’t leave me much to talk about. Both guys go to the corner and AJ superplexes Kaz down to the floor for a sick sounding thud.

Both guys are slow to get up and back inside but it’s Styles getting all fired up for forearms to the head. Kaz loads up a spinning downward spiral but AJ spins out and nails him with the Pele. The Styles Clash is countered with a kick to the head into a rollup for two and a kind of jumping superkick gets a very close two. Kaz puts him on the top rope but has to escape a middle rope Styles Clash. Instead it’s Kaz with the downward spiral (his finisher) for another near fall.

Kaz loads up a Clash (popular idea against AJ) but AJ gets free and takes the champion down with a discus lariat. Styles goes up again but another jumping superkick puts him down. AJ shoves him down and TOTALLY misses the Spiral Tap but covers anyway. Since there was literally no contact Kaz kicks out at two but the referee counts the pin anyway. The announcers are as confused as I was but we have a new champion.

Rating: B+. This was REALLY good stuff until the ending screwed things up. I mean there were literally nine inches of mat between AJ and Kaz on that Spiral Tap attempt but the pin counted anyway. Still though, I can easily accept nineteen minutes of awesome in exchange for thirty seconds of horrible.

Kaz would get on regular pay per view around this time, including a match on the third TNA regular pay per view, Against All Odds 2005.

Kazarian/Michael Shane vs. BG James/Jeff Hammond

Yeah, the old racer is wrestling here. He’d be about 49 or 50 here. BG makes some bad racing jokes before the match. Wait…according to what I can find, Hammond is a CREW CHIEF. He isn’t even a driver! Anyway, BG and Shane start us off. No wait Hammond wants to fight. Hammond grabs a wristlock and thankfully tags off to a wrestler. The non-X Division guys work over Shane and BG does most of the work.

BG takes Shane down and drops a knee on him for two. Kaz knocks him to the floor and hits a huge dive to take over. He hits a slingshot dropkick in the corner ala Hardy and Shazarian double teams BG. Neckbreaker gets two. Hammond comes in and can’t do anything BECAUSE HE ISN’T A WRESTLER. BG is knocked to the floor and Shane superkicks Kaz by mistake. Hammond drops an elbow for the pin. Screw this.

Rating: F. The match sucked, the guy isn’t even a driver, but his name is on TV so five people might know who he is. Twelve days later Kaz left TNA and signed a developmental deal with WWE. GEE, I WONDER WHY HE WOULD WANT TO DO THAT??? When the best thing you can say about a match is that it was short, that’s a bad sign.

Kaz would sign with the WWE around this time as centerpiece of the Cruiserweight division. Here’s one of his matches, from Velocity in August of 2005.

Frankie Kazarian vs. Paul London

They trade wristlocks to start and we actually hear about them meeting in the ECWA Super 8 tournament, a very prestigious indy wrestling tournament. London hits a Mushroom Stomp (double stomp) but charges into a belly to belly suplex into the corner. Back up and Paul gets two off an electric chair suplex, followed by a dropsault for the same. London nails a spinwheel kick and a wheelbarrow faceplant for an even closer two. He loads up another electric chair but Kaz falls forward into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as Kaz never went anywhere in WWE due to them making up the idea of revamping the Cruiserweight division. London was fine in a spot like this, but there was no future for these guys when the division almost only existed on a show like Velocity. Kaz was fine but didn’t have a platform to do anything on here.

Kaz would come back to TNA where he belonged, including this match at Genesis 2006.

Kazarian/Maverick Matt/Johnny Devine vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia

The three guys that would become Serotonin are in their new look now but have only been talking about their redeemer who would later be revealed as Raven. The Mafia is now at WAR with WWE. Tenay flat out says they’re going after Vince and it would only get worse. The fans chant that DX sucks. Anyway, Roadie, the guy only famous for being in DX, starts off with Matt.

BG (Road Dogg) gets taken into the corner and the heels alternate on him to take over. They tease the white shirt wearing Kip to allow more triple teaming. They’re flying through this match so it’s not going to last long. BG gets in a shot and hot tags Kip. Kip cleans house and uses a Pedigree as Tenay talks about the War. Devine jumps off the top but gets caught in the cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but anything that furthers this idiotic angel isn’t a good thing. As I said in the Turning Point review, I have no idea what they thought they were proving with this thing, but it would result in them “invading” a house show which they claimed was the same thing as DX invading WCW in 1998.

Serotonin didn’t do anything and Kaz eventually rebelled, setting up this match at Hard Justice 2007.

Kaz vs. Raven

Raven had some freak show team around this time and Kaz rebelled. This is the revenge match. Raven offers Kaz a chance to return to the team but Kaz pops him. They head to the floor quickly and Seretonin (the team) gets involved but screws up, giving Kaz control early on. Raven hits the Russian legsweep into the rail spot that he often does. In the ring, Raven busts out a victory roll of all things for two.

A Million Dollar Kneelift puts Kaz on the floor. Raven beats on Kaz but Kaz fires back with punches. I don’t know what it is but I can’t get into this show at all. I think a lot of it is the lack of storylines and context for these matches and angles, but I don’t think they’re going to be interesting no matter what you do with them. Kaz takes out the other Seretonin guys but Raven cracks him with a kendo stick to the head. Kaz escapes a DDT, hits a one footed dropkick….and gets the pin. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. Just a messy brawl that wasn’t anything to see. There were some cool spots, but Raven was just annoying Kaz here more than being a threat. This was another of those feuds that I have zero interest in but have to sit through for the purposes of writing this. That being said I wasn’t interested in this feud four years ago either.

Kaz would get a push around this time, including this ladder match at Genesis 2007.

Christian vs. Kaz

Winner gets a shot at the champion at some point in the future. Remember that it’s a ladder match. Kaz hammers away with some kicks and there’s the first ladder. Christian picks it up so Kaz hits a spinning dive over the top onto said ladder which hurts him more than the Canadian. Christian is bleeding right around the eye. Here’s ladder junior and it’s bridged between the ring and the barricade.

Kaz gets laid out on it and Christian goes up top. He drops a frog splash on Kaz, but the ladder is all like IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? THAT AIN’T GONNA BREAK ME BOY! That eye of Christian looks bad. Kaz moves out of the way and spins Christian into the ladder in the corner. He sandwiches Christian behind a ladder in the corner but on a charge Christian PELTS the ladder at Kaz, sending him down. The crowd is already way into this.

Christian does a few more painful things to Kaz but his attempt at the contract doesn’t work. Kaz gets in a nice looking shot as he swings the ladder like a bat. They both go up ladders and Christian manages to hit a reverse DDT off the top. Kaz gets up again and puts Christian on the ladder with a backdrop and then the spinning legdrop that he uses. The fans think it’s awesome and I can’t really disagree.

Kaz suplexes the ladder onto Christian and then goes up for the scary spot of the matc. He climbs to the very top of the ladder and drops a leg on Christian onto the ladder, but the middle part moves so Kaz’s leg hits the ladder square on. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Christian goes up so Kaz hits a springboard dropkick into the ladder which knocks the ladder into the ropes, knocking the cameraman off the apron.

AJ and Tomko come out but Christian calls them off. Both guys go up the ladder but it topples over. Christian goes flying down to the floor where he lands on the tag champions. The look on his face is great as it says “I just want to go home and have a grilled cheese.” Kaz was able to get his foot onto the rope to stop the fall and shove himself back up. He pulls down the contract to win it.

Rating: A-. Now THIS was fun. This is the third time tonight that the X-Division guys have been allowed to go out there and have fun and it’s the third very good match they’ve had. What else can you ask for other than that? Great match here with both guys beating each other up and taking some HARD shots.

Kaz and Eric Young would team up, setting up this stupid match at Lockdown 2008.

Rock N Rave Infection vs. MCMG vs. Eric Young/Kaz vs. LAX vs. Scott Steiner/Petey Williams vs. Black Reign/Rellik

This is Cuffed in the Cage: all 12 in the match at once and it’s elimination by being cuffed to a rope, last man standing gets his team a shot at the tag titles at a future date. Reign and Rellik (Killer backwards. Clever huh?) beat up Eric backstage before they can come out. The entrances take a few hours or so. Oh and Black Reign (Goldust but a cheap knockoff that no one bought) and Killer are supposed to be monsters. This is idiotic.

How in the WORLD have the Guns not been tag champions yet? There are two sets of tag titles in TNA (don’t even get me started on how freaking stupid that is) and they can’t get one of them. That’s just stupid. Oh LAX already have a title shot, so they’re getting a chance to get a second one here, because it would make NO SENSE to take two people out of here to, oh I don’t know, unclutter the match thing a tiny bit???

This was back when Petey was Maple Leaf Muscle, as in a tiny version of Steiner. Is this supposed to be Mexico or something? Steiner just beats the tar out of everyone until LAX takes him down. About four people get him cuffed to eliminate him. What would be smart here? Perhaps having him leave? Nope, that would make too much sense, so he just stays in the cage cuffed to the cage. Someone was actually paid to think of this. That’s just sad.

Young comes down and gets scared by the monsters. You can’t tell a thing that’s going on because THERE ARE ELEVEN PEOPLE IN THERE AT ONCE. Sabin and Shelley get cuffed at the same time. Petey is put out and I just couldn’t care less. The problem here is that you get some decent stuff and spots but there are just so many people in there and the camera jumps around so much that you can’t see anything at all. LAX are both out.

Kaz is out as we have Killer and Rock N Rave and Black Reign left. The fans already get the idea as they chant Super Eric. The idea is this: Eric Young puts on a shirt, a mask and a cape and all of a sudden he’s not scared anymore and is an awesome fighter. This is making me lose intelligence very rapidly. He does a HUGE dive off the top of the cage to put four guys down. Ok that was pretty cool looking. Hoyt (Vance Archer) is put out.

The other problem becomes that no one can move anywhere as there are people on so many parts of the cage. Oh Jimmy Rave is out too. Young gets the two monsters to win the stupid thing. To further drain my intelligence, here’s how this played out. Eric and Kaz won the tag titles (why they’re not being defended here and why the X Title isn’t being defended here is beyond me.

Tomko and AJ FREAKING STYLES were the tag champions, yet they’re not on the PPV. Upon further review they’re in the Lethal Lockdown match so that makes it a bit better) at the next Impact but because Super Eric wasn’t the guy Kaz entered the match with they didn’t get the titles.

Instead they were held up and a whole PPV, Sacrifice, was dedicated to getting new champions with LAX and 3D fighting in the finals of the Deuces Wild tag tournament where you had random partners fighting established teams but the random partners WON NO MATCHES. THIS WAS PRAISED by TNA fans. They thought this was a good idea.

Rating: F-. This was just so freaking stupid that I can’t believe it exists. Seriously, TWELVE PEOPLE in the cage at once and you handcuff them to eliminate them. I wanted wrestling, not some screwed up sex fantasy that even Vince McMahon would say slow down when offered. Seriously, screw Dave Meltzer. He said that Edge vs. HHH vs. Kozlov was worse than this? Dave is a brilliant guy, but his anti-WWE bias gets out of hands at times.

Kaz was hot enough at this point that he would be in a cage match at Sacrifice 2008 to get a World Title shot later in the night.

Curry Man vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Consequences Creed vs. Shark Boy vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Kaz vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Jay Lethal

Sure we can put TEN PEOPLE in a cage and expect it to be coherent in any way, shape or form. TNA: redefining overdoing it every night. Winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future against I think Petey Williams. Shark Boy is Stone Cold here and it’s just so stupid. Cornette comes out and says the winner gets to be in the main event in Angle’s place. For the record, the total time of the entrances and Cornette’s announcement and lowering the ceiling on the Dome: 7:31. Longest match so far tonight: 8:45.

Everyone but Rave and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian/Japanese curry company mascot) go onto the cage walls and try to escape. The six sided ring is bigger so there’s some extra room but since everyone is on the walls it’s hard to call anything. The Guns take over with speed and Creed makes a run for the top. Kaz, ever the scholar, uses Creed’s arms as a slingshot to drop a leg on someone instead of pulling him down. Creed, also the lunkhead, drops down to beat up Kaz.

Another problem is that everyone is wearing black tights except for the people that aren’t so you can barely tell most of them apart. They mess up the Tower of Doom pretty badly and Dutt escapes the Spice Rack to Dutt. You can’t really call anything but spots here and it’s really annoying because of that. Creed hits a DDT on Rave. Shelley takes a Chummer (Stunner) from Shark Boy.

Sabin and Shark Boy mess something up badly but Kaz takes him out with a spinning downward spiral. Dutt has been chilling on the roof for awhile so Curry Man takes him down. Rave takes a Spice Rack off the top rope. There’s nothing else to report here other than these random spots. They’re flashy looking and cool but there’s no coherence or flow to it at all.

Curry shoves Kaz off the top rope and goes up, only to have Kaz come stop him. Rave pulls him off the top with a Codebreaker and Devine hits a Devine Intervention (double underhook piledriver) to Creed. Shouldn’t the afro shield him from that? Rave goes up and Kaz pulls him off. It’s certainly good that 8 people were in the middle of the ring and no one was going after Kaz who escapes to advance to the title match later.

Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fun but there’s no way you can tell what’s going on for the most part here. This needed to be about 5 guys at most and they could have gotten something going. It’s a nice change to the cage match formula so of course TNA never used it as anything resembling that since they’re not incredibly intelligent at times. This was fun but it really needed to be tweeked.

And the title match from the same show.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Kaz vs. Scott Steiner

Frank Trigg is on commentary because wrestling companies think we watch wrestling to see MMA. Joe gets a big tribal dance thing. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Kaz grabs a rollup on Steiner 10 seconds in and a second one 20 seconds in. Joe is like screw this and runs them both over, unleashing some kicks. He cleans house and puts a half Liontamer on Kaz.

Steiner runs over for the save and is immediately put in a Fujiwara armbar. Now Kaz is in a Texas Cloverleaf. See, this is what I like Joe doing: throwing on random holds because that’s what he’s supposed to be good at. A clothesline puts Steiner on the floor and he hits his face on the apron. Kaz tries that spinning springboard legdrop but Joe moves. Trigg is actually offering ideas and strategy, suggesting that Steiner and Kaz should join up and double team Joe to take him out. I have no problem with someone that wants to be there and is trying. Trigg is doing both.

Steiner sends Joe into the railing outside and it’s Kaz vs. Steiner with the roided one in control. Scott hits a Samoan Drop off the middle rope for two on Kaz. Is that gimmick infringement? Joe is beating him like he stole something so maybe it was. Steiner busts out the suplexes and puts Joe in the Recliner. He does what no one could do in 2000 and stands up, letting Kaz hit a dropkick in the form of a Doomsday Device to put Steiner down for a full 5 seconds.

Steiner charges into the release Rock Bottom in the corner from Joe. Joe tries a suicide dive but jumps into a pipe Steiner is holding. It looked like the shoulder took most of it. Back in a slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz. Petey gets involved and crotches Kaz and a Frankensteiner gets two as Joe makes a very last second save. Why is it that a single shot to the leg can cause a guy to go flying off a cover?

Joe goes insane and is holding his shoulder. It would be good selling if it was the same shoulder that the pipe hit but left and right might be a bit too complex for Joe. A superkick puts Kaz down but he gets up in time to kick Joe onto the apron. Kaz tries something off the top on Steiner but it looks like a bad DDT. Steiner gets a cover out of it if that gives you any idea. With Steiner still on top Joe grabs the MuscleBuster and retains.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and they had a decent match. Steiner vs. Joe would have been bad so adding in the high flying of Kaz was a nice touch. It’s not a great match or anything but it was fine for Joe’s first major title defense. The pipe never went anywhere but it wasn’t supposed to I don’t think. Not great but not bad here so just over in the middle sounds good.

Kaz missed a good while due to an injury and return as the masked Suicide character. This set up a match at Sacrifice 2009 against Daniels, who had been accused of being the character.

X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. Suicide

Suicide is defending. Christopher is just called Daniels here but screw that. Suicide pops up behind Daniels after the lights come back up. Feeling out process to start as West compares this to Area 51, Lee Harvey Oswald and if man walked on the moon. West starts talking about Curry Man, another guy that Daniels portrayed. The fans chant suicide. Yeah that’s not weird at all. The main thing going on so far is West rambling about his conspiracy theories.

Daniels gets a rather weak crossface chickenwing on the mat for a few seconds. Enziguri completely misses but it’s sold anyway. Release Rock Bottom sets up the Best Moonsault Ever which is avoided. They can’t get a tombstone reversal sequence as this hasn’t been much from a quality standpoint. West keeps going with his theories and they get more and more annoying each time.

They go to the ramp a bit and Suicide counters into one of those fireman’s carries into a front flip but hurts some part of his leg or foot on. Daniels gets a nice slingshot move into a rollup for two. Sabin of all people comes out to distract the referee so Shelley can sneak in to hit a Codebreaker to give Daniels the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much here. It was decent enough but it just never got out of the blocks. I have never been a fan of Daniels as his matches just come off as boring beyond belief to me. This was no exception as it just kept on going until the Guns came out to set up the finish. Can someone please explain the appeal of this guy to me?

Daniels grabs the mic and says he didn’t have anything to do with the Guns being there so Daniels wants five more minutes and I guess Suicide is still champion here. Ok so the match is going to continue. By the way, this isn’t overbooking as it fits in with the whole Daniels/Suicide conspiracy angle they’re using here. Suicide takes over for awhile here which is a change of pace from the previous match. Or earlier in the match or whatever the right term is.

Koji Clutch goes on Suicide as Daniels gets the advantage but ropes are of course grabbed since the draw is more or less a given at this point. In something you’ll hardly ever see in this arena, the fans chant boring. We get the clock as we have less than a minute. Don’t let Samoa Joe see it! Standing BME is blocked as Suicide gets two off the counter. Codebreaker gets two at the bell.

Rating: C. That’s for the extra five minutes which was much better than the first twelve but not by much. Suicide is a guy I could get into more than Daniels and this is a great example of that. Not a great match at all but for a shorter thing like this it worked fine I guess. Still not wanting to see any more of Daniels though.

More Suicide, this time at Bound For Glory 2009.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Homicide

This is Ultimate X and the Guns got in by winning a tag match earlier. Suicide is played by Kaz here. Dinero was supposed to be in this too but had a legit family emergency. Red has Don West with him. This is Red’s first Ultimate X match. That’s rather surprising. And there’s a rather scary close up of Homicide. Red and Suicide (how did he and Homicide never team together?) go to the floor as the spots begin.

Daniels stops a huge dive by Red to kill the crowd. Daniels has won four straight of these matches apparently. Red hits a SWEET Rana off the top to Daniels to the floor, taking out about 3 other people. The Guns take over with some of their awesome team stuff. No real attempts at going for the belt until Homicide heads up there. Suicide trumps Homicide though and everyone crashes.

This turns into the Guns vs. everyone else as Daniels takes a missile dropkick Doomsday Device. Everything goes insane again and you can’t really follow much of anything. Homicide, a heel here, goes up but Daniels stops him. Daniels and Sabin play a little chicken but both crash as well. SICK tornado DDT by Sabin. Red gets a leaping Downward Spiral to take out Daniels as this has been rather fun.

There’s the required Tower of Doom spot that never gets old with the big move being Suicide hitting a moonsault on Daniels. To give you an idea, Suicide was on the top rope. Red got behind him for a German. Red was powerbombed off by Sabin. Red suplexed Suicide off and Suicide flipped into a moonsault press onto Daniels. Ok so onto is a stretch but you get the concept.

The crowd isn’t really feeling this outside of big spots, which isn’t great but it’s also not horrible. They know their chants though I suppose. Best Moonsault Ever to Sabin. Daniels, Suicide and Red go up to the top of the structure, as in 7 feet about the X, getting a please don’t die chant. They’re above the height of being on top of the Cell. Daniels almost falls as this is terrifying.

Daniels thankfully drops down as does Suicide. Red is laying on top as the Guns go for the traditional way. Suicide and Daniels go down and Daniels lands on his head. Tazz half kayfabe shouts CHECK HIM, and I couldn’t agree more. Red drops down and gets the belt. I’m legit worried about Daniels after that fall. Don West comes out to celebrate.

Rating: B. I was trying to figure out if it should be minus or plus but this is fine. I’ve never been wild on having big gimmick matches like this to open the show. I get having an X match here but not the big gimmick matches like these. Save these for the middle of the card where the crowd needs a boost. Still though this was solid and the spots were great. Daniels’ fall was scary, though he would be ok. Fun match here and it did its job perfectly.

Kazarian would return and take part in another #1 contenders match at Destination X 2010.

Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Christopher Daniels

Winner is #1 contender to the X Division Title. Oh and it’s a ladder match. This was when Daniels had some weird thing on where it wrapped around his neck and then down to his arms. It just looked weird. Make your own Antonio Banderas jokes. We get going and Kendrick hits the floor. Smart. Red launches himself of the ropes to hit everyone not named Kendrick.

There’s your first ladder. Everyone goes for the contract in a row but no one gets it. I love that STO Daniels does. Taz knowing the real name of it might be the only thing of worth from him. The ladder has an ad for TNAwrestling.com. There’s something amusing about that. TNA gets the idea here at least: have a spot fest.

That’s what a match like this is supposed to be and that’s what they’re giving us. Red hits a SWEET hurricanrana to the floor. In a spot that I thought was stupid Kazarian has Red in position for the Flux Capactior on the ladder. The setup is like a Rock Bottom. His left arm is free. WHY DIDN’T HE GRAB THE PAPER??? He makes up for it a bit with a slingshot Fameasser to a ladder on Daniels. Nice.

Kendrick gets his fingers slammed in a ladder. FREAKING OW! Daniels and Kaz are the only ones left in there. And there’s Kendrick so never mind. Crowd is totally behind Kendrick here in case you’re wondering. That five clap sequence the audience does needs to freaking die. It truly does.

In a nice spot, Red goes for a springboard something but jumps into a Diamond Cutter from Kazarian. I like it. Ladder number two is in and Red and Daniels have a race. Kazarian does the Shelton Spider-Man spot to get onto the ladders and knocks Daniels off to win the  thing.

Rating: B+. It was a spot fest and that’s all it had to be. This was a great way to open the show and the match was solid as it could be. Even in a TNA crowd you have to get them fired up and what better way than this? Kaz will win the title soon and after this he deserves it. Fun match and a great opener.

Here’s a title shot, from Genesis 2011.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal

Hey look the X Title is opening the show again! It’s new! It’s exciting! It’s exactly what was expected! They start before the bell rings and Lethal hits a rana and rams in right hands. To be fair a fast paced match is a good way to get a crowd going so I can’t make too much fun of it. Lethal gets a dive to the floor and hits a moonsault to the floor to continue establishing his dominance.

Kaz takes over again and we chop it out. Things speed up somewhat with Lethal taking over after a series of counters. I’m surprised Kaz is moving this fast as he hasn’t done that much recently. Kaz takes over again as this has been very back and forth. It’s the first internet broadcast for TNA also. Lethal gets the handspring elbow to put both guys down.

This is personal of course. Has there ever been a professional fight in professional wrestling? In a very cool spot Lethal was on the apron and Kaz pulled him in using the ropes but moved over in a split second to catch Lethal in a cutter. Flux Capacitor is blocked into a sunset bomb by Lethal for two. Good stuff so far. Apparently Kaz is in trouble if he doesn’t get the title here.

Reverse tombstone is blocked as Kaz rolls through. Kaz gets a slingshot DDT for a close two. He slaps Lethal to fire him up so Jay rifles off chops to the chest. Where else would they go I guess. Lethal sets for the top rope elbow but gets caught by a running enziguri. When did that become the most popular move in the world as everyone seems to use it anymore. Kaz can’t get the reverse tombstone off the top but gets it a few seconds later in the ring for the pin and his fourth X Title.

Rating: B-. Pretty decent match here but this wasn’t much of a surprise at all. I really hope they don’t go with the Immortal domination tonight though. This was a fun match and definitely got the crowd into it. I have a bad feeling though that this will be the high point of the card which certainly isn’t a good thing. Still though, at least we got a good match out of the opener.

Daniels and Kazarian would join forces to make AJ Styles’ life miserable. Here’s a match from the feud at Against All Odds 2012.

AJ Styles vs. Kazarian

Kaz is in a shirt which he tries to remove but Daniels says no. AJ controls with a headlock and rips the shirt off himself. They fight over the arm as the fans are all over Daniels. Kaz gets sent to the floor and AJ is in control. Backbreaker puts Kaz down as Styles is working on the back. A flying forearm puts Kaz on the floor for a minute but AJ gets it back inside to avoid Daniels.

A bridging Indian Deathlock with a facelock cranks on Kaz’s back even more. Kaz comes back and slams AJ down so that the spinning springboard legdrop (Wave of the Future maybe?) can get two. Spinwheel kick gets two. Now Kaz works on AJ’s back with a hard whip in and a jumping Russian Legsweep for two. Leg lariat gets the same. Kazarian hooks a double chicken wing on the mat but AJ fights up to his feet.

They slug it out and AJ takes over with a pair of clotheslines and an enziguri. Styles sets for an atomic drop but slams Kaz face first instead, getting two. Styles Clash and Fade to Black are both countered and Kaz hits a dropkick to regain control. AJ grabs a jawbreaker but can’t hit the Clash. Kaz kicks him to the apron and hits a slingshot DDT onto said apron as we hit the floor. Slingshot cutter gets two back in. This is getting good.

AJ is sat up on the top and Kaz hits a running superkick to almost send him to the floor. Kaz goes up for the Flux Capacitor (C4) but AJ knocks him down with a headbutt. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets a very close two. AJ tries a suplex into a neckbreaker but Kaz reverses into a hard Downward Spiral to put everyone down. They go into a pinfall reversal sequence which gets two for both guys and ends with a Pele to put Kaz down. AJ is sent to the apron and loads up a springboard forearm but instead hits a gorgeous Asai Moonsault to take out Daniels. He tries to springboard at Kaz but jumps into Fade To Black for the pin at 18:37.

Rating: B. Can’t argue with this one either. AJ is always awesome to see when he has time and the ability to be himself. Kaz can do great stuff too, but I could do without Daniels ever being near AJ Styles again. At the end of the day, AJ is going to win the feud with him again, just as he has every time they’ve feuded.

We’ll take a break from PPV for a bit to look at an Xplosion match from March 20, 2012.

Eric Young vs. Kazarian

Young and ODB recently won the Knockouts Tag Titles which they still hold as of this writing. There are blue lights in the arena for some reason, making it look like a more laid back Sin Cara match. Eric locks up with the referee to start before things speed up. It’s a crisscross but Kaz rolls out of the ring. Young keeps running until Kaz gets on the mic and calls him a buffoon. Kaz wants none of this tomfoolery so he heads back inside, only to be caught in an armbar.

Young gets thrown to the floor as the fans loudly cheer for the bizarre one. We take a break and come back with Kaz holding a chinlock. Young fights up with some shots to the ribs, only to get caught by a spin kick to the face. Off to a front facelock for a bit until Eric comes back with a jawbreaker. For no apparent reason Young takes his pants off and comes back with a belly to belly suplex. A slam puts Kaz down again and there’s a top rope elbow for two. Kaz comes back by putting Eric’s pants on his face (just go with it) but Eric hits a missile dropkick for two. A low blow and rollup with feet on the ropes gives Kaz the pin.

Rating: D-. I do not like Eric Young. His “comedy” isn’t funny and it only has been once or twice in his entire run in TNA. Seeing a man put his pants on his head and seeing him enjoy it doesn’t make me care about this guy and I have no desire to see his schtick anymore. Hopefully he stops it now that he’s come back to TNA.

Kaz and Daniels would get a Tag Team Title shot on Impact, June 28, 2012.

Tag Titles: Kurt Angle/AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Daniels and Kaz are challenging but Kaz doesn’t like Daniels all that much right now. He and AJ start and AJ takes him down followed by a kick to the back. Off to Angle and Kaz tags out, almost by slapping the taste out of Daniels’ mouth. Kurt charges into a boot and Daniels hits his slingshot elbow. Off to Kaz who covers off that elbow for some reason. Daniels yells at Kaz and tags himself back in but runs from AJ. The challengers argue on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Daniels in control of AJ and hitting his running STO for two. Angle comes in and cleans house. He fires off Rolling Germans on Kaz and does the same to Daniels. Kaz grabs a TKO for two on Kurt but gets caught in the ankle lock. That gets broken up quickly and everything breaks down. AJ clotheslines Kaz down but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb. Angle gets sent into the referee by Daniels so Chris grabs a chair. Kaz pulls it away and lets AJ hit the Pele. Kaz tells AJ to finish this, but then hits AJ in the back with a chair, giving Daniels the pin and the titles at 11:34.

Rating: B-. So Kaz is evil for the sake of being evil. I guess that works, but would this count as two turns in the same show? Eh it’s fine as it’s better with AJ and Kurt not being champions again as the titles weren’t really fitting on them. This was nowhere near as good as the Slammiversary match but it was fine for a TV main event.

Now called Bad Influence, Kaz and Daniels would compete at the first X-Travaganza One Night Only.

Bad Influence vs. Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt

Williams and Daniels get things going with Petey being sent in the corner but coming out with a headscissors and a smack to the face of Kazarian. Off to Dutt for a double elbow for a two count and some shoulders into Daniels’ ribs in the corner. Kaz comes in and ducks a kick, only to be caught by a standing moonsault for two. A dropkick gets the same for Dutt and it’s back to Petey.

Williams hooks a Sharpshooter on Kaz while Dutt hooks an Octopus Hold on Daniels. Petey hits some slick combo moves on both guys by hitting both guys at once before shrugging off a double leg drag. Kaz finally comes back and drapes Williams over the top rope to send him to the floor and take over. Off to Daniels for his slingshot elbow drop followed by the slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels hooks a test of strength on Petey and climbs the rope to drive a knee into his chest for two.

We hit the nerve hold by Daniels for a bit before Petey is driven into the corner to break up a comeback. Kaz comes in for a front facelock as things slow down a bit as you would expect them to at some point. Petey finally fights up and gets to the corner for the hot tag to Sonjay. Dutt hits a cool bulldog into the middle buckle and a springboard legdrop onto the back of Daniels’ head for two.

Sonjay misses a springboard clothesline to Daniels and gets caught by a tornado DDT for Kazarian as Taz rips into Earl Hebner for being old. Dutt escapes Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two. Williams comes back in for his headscissors into a Russian legsweep for two on Daniels but Kaz breaks up the Canadian Destroyer.

Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bread on Kaz for two more but Daniels makes the save. Petey sends Daniels to the floor and hits a sweet slingshot rana to take him down. Dutt kicks Kaz in the head and loads up the moonsault double stomp, only to have Daniels break things up. Fade to Black puts Dutt down and the BME is good for the pin for Daniels.

Rating: B. Good fast paced formula based tag match here and that’s really hard to screw up when you have talented guys like these people. Dutt continues to look awesome since his comeback to the company but unfortunately TNA feels the need to focus on bland guys like Zema Ion for reasons I can’t fathom.

Another One Night Only, at Hardcore Justice II.

Bad Influence vs. Generation Me

Ladder match as mentioned and Generation Me are Max and Jeremy Buck. They all shake hands to start but but everyone turns on everyone like true heels should. Generation Me takes over with some quick neckbreakers but Bad Influence takes them down with strikes. We get the first ladders brought in as this is moving very fast so far. Jeremy starts climbing but Kaz pelts another ladder at him for the save. The fans seem to be behind the Bucks as Kaz hits a TKO on Max from the top of the ladder.

Daniels gets backdropped onto a ladder and Kaz gets the same via a monkey flip. A ladder is bridged between the ring and the ladder so Max can spear Kaz down under said ladder. Daniels is dropkicked off the apron onto the ladder but Kaz saves his partner from being splashed through the ladder. Jeremy suplexes Kaz from the apron onto the ladder in a very painful looking landing.

Daniels is stuck in the ring with both Bucks but manages to shove Max off the ladder onto the top rope but Max lands on his feet on the rope and springboards down to take out Kaz. AWESOME bit of balance there. Jeremy goes up but Kaz pops back in with a springboard dropkick to make the save. All of the ladders are down now and a sliding dropkick from Kaz sends Max to the floor. Jeremy makes another save on Daniels by slamming him face first into the mat to put him down. Kaz and Max go up but Daniels throws the Appletini into Buck’s face, allowing Kaz to pull the check down for the win.

Rating: B-. This was the kind of pickup the show needed. Sometimes a good spotfest is the solution to your problems and that’s what we got here. This was also a good example of what happens when you put something on the line in a match like this. The $20,000 isn’t a great prize, but it’s worth more than bragging rights or whatever else you want to say the first two matches were worth. Allegedly Kaz is undefeated in ladder matches in TNA. If so that’s rather impressive.

Back to Impact for Hardcore Justice 2013 on August 15.

Bound For Glory Series: Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

This is for 20 points and it’s a ladder match. The clipboard hanging above the ring has a piece of paper with the number 20 on it. Keeping it simple I guess. Kaz goes to the floor to get the first ladder but the other three block him from coming back in. Aries and Kaz fight for the ladder on the ramp with Austin letting go of the ladder to send Kaz to the floor. A top rope ax handle puts Kaz down but AJ knocks Hardy to the floor as well. AJ dives onto Hardy to take him down again and leave Styles as the only man standing.

Kaz gets in a ladder shot to put AJ down before climbing the ladder. Aries comes back in and crotches Kaz against the ladder, leaving Austin vs. Jeff in the ring. Jeff sends him to the floor but AJ pulls the ladder away for a showdown. Hardy tries a quick Twist of Fate but gets shoved off and sent to the announce table on the floor. Kaz comes back in with a slingshot DDT to AJ but has to have a forearm duel with Aries. Styles dropkicks the ladder into the back of Kaz’s head but Aries backdrops AJ to the floor. The company is living up to its name for a change as this has been nonstop action since the bell.

Aries runs interference to stop Jeff and AJ from going up the ladder before sending Kaz head first into the post. Austin tries a climb but gets pulled down by Hardy and Jeff knocks down the other two as well. Jeff and Austin both go up but Kaz and AJ make the save, sending all four guys down as we take a break. Back with Aries going up but being pulled down by Kaz before he gets too far. AJ stops both of them and hits the springboard forearm to send Austin to the ramp. The ladder appears to be bent or broken.

Kaz brings in another ladder to clean house but can’t climb up fast enough. All four guys go up at the same time and AJ gets his fingers on the contract but Aries shakes everything up with a sunset bomb to Hardy. Kaz and AJ are left alone on the ladder and they fight over a suplex off the ladder. Kaz rakes AJ’s eyes to put him down but Styles shoves the ladder over, putting everyone down again.

Aries hits his running dropkick in the corner on Styles and goes up but Hardy makes another save. Styles pulls Aries off the ladder and loads up the Styles Clash but Kaz pulls in a downward spiral on AJ at the same time. Kaz goes up but it’s Jeff making another save. Aries comes out of the corner with a missile dropkick to take them both down and goes up as well, but here are Roode and Daniels for a distraction.

Styles plays Shelton Benjamin by springboarding up to the ladder but Hardy shoves the ladder over, sending both guys to the floor. Roode pulls Hardy down as Daniels distracts the referee but Jeff kicks him off. Daniels slips the appletini to Kaz and Jeff gets blinded, allowing Kaz to get the win at 17:35.

Rating: A-. This was the simple formula of take four guys and let them dive off stuff for fifteen minutes or so. I’m not big on another faction in TNA because they’re already on overload with them, but at least they’re not involved with the other two. The action here was great though and they couldn’t have picked a better opener.

We’ll wrap it up in Japan at One Night Only: Global Impact.

Bad Influence vs. Junior Stars

The Junior Stars are Koji Kanemoto and Minoru Tanaka. Kanemoto wrestled at Starrcade 1995 and invented the Koji Clutch. Tanaka was in TNA for the 2006 World X-Cup. I’m assuming the Junior part is for their weight class and not for their ages. Daniels and Tanaka get things going with Christopher being taken into the corner, where he shouts CLEAN BREAK about fifteen times in a loud voice. Daniels does the same to Tanaka, who shouts the same thing and is granted his request. They hit the mat for a bit before Tanaka dropkicks Daniels’ knee.

Off to Kanemoto vs. Kazarian with Koji taking over, using something like Joe’s Facewash. Taz says Koji invented that move which really wouldn’t surprise me given Joe’s work in Japan. Kaz comes back with a dropkick and is hiptossed onto Koji by Daniels for two. Back to Daniels as Taz makes jokes about photographers. They’re firmly in the “let’s make jokes instead of calling the match” mode tonight.

Bad Influence starts some fast tagging to keep Kanemoto in trouble but he avoids a charge from Daniels to get a breather. A suplex puts Daniels down but there’s no tag to Tanaka. Instead Koji misses a moonsault and a double big boot puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Daniels to face Tanaka with Minoru taking over with shots to the face. Everything breaks down and Tanaka dives off the middle rope to take Daniels down to the floor.

A half butterfly suplex gets two on Christopher and Koji gets two off a 450. Kazarian pulls the referee out to really get the fans’ attention. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combination gets two on Tanaka but he pops up and puts Kaz in an ankle lock. Kanemoto puts Daniels in a cross armbreaker at the same time but Kaz crawls over to save his partner. Why Tanaka lets go of his hold when Tanaka’s is broken isn’t clear. Bad Influence goes High/Low for the pin out of nowhere on Kanemoto.

Rating: C+. The match was fine for an opener as Daniels and Kazarian can wrestle without having to do all their comedy stuff. That fits in better for a more serious show like this, and the match was entertaining as a result. It wasn’t anything spectacular but not every match has to be.

Kazarian may never have been the star of the X-Division but he was always good at what he did. He found a niche in ladder matches and was one of the most successful performers ever in the gimmick. I love his stuff with Daniels as they’ve found something absolutely hilarious and are allowed to have fun out there.

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Get your cameras ready, because today is Edge and Christian.

I’m already cheating on the first match as it’s a six man tag from In Your House XXVI, the team’s first match on pay per view.

Brood vs. J.O.B. Squad

The brood is Gangrel, Edge and Christian while the J.O.B. Squash is Bob Holly, Scorpio and Al Snow, who have united together after getting sick of constantly losing to bigger stars. Edge pounds on Holly to start but walks into a powerslam and a falcon’s arrow for two. A clothesline puts Holly down and it’s off to Christian, who lost the Light Heavyweight Title to J.O.B. Squad member Duane Gill with help from Snow.

Scorpio comes in to kick Christian in the face and get a two count off a middle rope flipping legdrop. Off to the Squad’s leader Al Snow for some headbutts to the chest but getting caught in a reverse DDT. Gangrel gets the tag and pounds away in the corner before clotheslining Snow down. They’re not exactly getting out of first gear here. Snow comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex but Gangrel DDTs him down and brings in Edge. Off to a chinlock on Snow but he quickly fights up and a double clothesline drops both guys.

Scorpio and Christian come in to speed things up but everything quickly breaks down. Holly and Christian are left in the ring with Christian being dropped long enough to allow Snow to blast him with Head. Scorpio hits a moonsault legdrop for two as Edge makes the save. Edge follows that up by diving over the top to take out Holly and Snow before Christian hits what would become the Unprettier and then the Killswitch for the pin on Scorpio.

Rating: D. This really didn’t do much for me as it was a very dull match with a wild ending. Also, this makes the heels 0-4 on the show tonight which isn’t the right way to get the crowd into things. The Brood would get better in the future while the J.O.B. Squad would never amount to anything, meaning they’re living up to their name.

We’ll jump way ahead to Summerslam 1999 where Edge and Christian are in a Tag Team Turmoil match.

Tag Team Turmoil

As mentioned, Edge and Christian start against the Hardys which is a layup for a good start. The Canadians are good guys here and we have six teams involved with the winners getting a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Naturally it’s a brawl to start until we get down to Edge vs. Matt. A DDT puts the Hardy down and it’s off to Christian for a double hiptoss for two. Christian BADLY misses a spinwheel kick but it’s Gangrel interfering to give the Hardys control.

The Hardys take their shirts off to almost no reaction so you know they’re evil here. Jeff hits a slingshot springboard moonsault for two followed by Poetry in Motion to crush Christian in the corner. Matt takes forever to cover and brings in Jeff for a senton (not yet the Swanton) Bomb for two.

Edge makes the save and allows Christian to hit a double reverse DDT to set up the hot tag. Everything breaks down and it’s Edge and Jeff running the barricades to set up a spear in midair. Christian dives onto them both followed by Matt mostly missing a moonsault to take everyone else out. Back in and Edge pulls Matt off the top, setting up a top rope elbow to give Christian the pin.

The third team in is Mideon/Viscera and the big man is starting with Christian. Viscera hits a quick Samoan drop for no cover and it’s off to Mideon for a double elbow drop. A knee drop gets two but Christian avoids a middle rope elbow. Off to Edge who speeds things up but gets drilled by a spinwheel kick (again it barely connected but it’s more excusable with Viscera). Edge avoids a charging big man and a double shoulder puts Viscera outside. Mideon is speared down for the pin.

Droz/Prince Albert (Tensai) are the fourth team and it’s Albert quickly throwing Edge into the corner. JR gets on Jerry for not knowing anything about Albert but Lawler makes a great point: “Look at him and you know everything you need to know.” Albert gets two off a neckbreaker as the announcers argue whether football careers matter in wrestling (Hint: most of the time they don’t). Christian chop blocks Albert and the Downward Spiral sends Edge and Christian to the next match.

The Acolytes are here before the three count and it’s Bradshaw working over Edge to start. Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker and a missile dropkick as JR is whiny because Lawler pointed out how stupid the football stats were. Bradshaw powerbombs Edge out of the corner for two and it’s off to Faarooq. ANOTHER spinwheel kick barely connects (the production staff isn’t on their game tonight) but Bradshaw gets a tag before Christian does.

A belly to back suplex gets two for Bradshaw and it’s back to Faarooq for more basic power offense. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the Faarooq spinebuster sets up an arrogant cover for two. Edge gets up for a DDT and it’s a double tag to Christian and Bradshaw. Everything breaks down and Christian gets two off a tornado DDT. Edge drops Christian onto Bradshaw as the Hollys come out before the pin. The distraction lets Bradshaw kill Christian with the Clothesline to get us down to the final two teams.

Faarooq hits a quick Dominator on Crash but Hardcore makes the save. The cousins get in an argument over who gets to fight Faarooq but it’s the Acolytes getting to beat up Hardcore. It’s back to Crash who has no effect on Faarooq so the announcers bicker some more to entertain us. Hardcore finally gets the tag and dropkicks Faarooq, triggering a brawl between the cousins. Faarooq hits a quick spinebuster on Hardcore for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This match had the same issues that almost all gauntlet matches have: if these teams can get wins this fast, why don’t they do it all the time? The matches are just quick segments instead of actual matches with the longest being a slightly longer version of a TV match. However there was hope on the horizon as Edge and Christian and the Hardys would have a rematch with ladders in two months. Also, a team is coming from Dudleyville in about two weeks. The magic approaches.

Here’s what may be their first Tag Team Title shots, from Unforgiven 1999.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. New Age Outlaws

Edge and Christian are young faces here and asked for a title match on Heat. How weird is it that Edge and Christian would be light years ahead of the Outlaws at the end of the day? The Outlaws are freshly reunited here and the pop is noticeably quieter. And I’m wrong as they’re WAY into the Road Dogg entrance stuff. Edge and Gunn start us off. Korderas is refereeing again which is good as there shouldn’t be any drama here.

This was when Gunn was still bearable in the ring so this is decent to start off with. Edge and Christian were young and awesome at this time so this is a fun match on paper. More or less no way they were going to win though as the Outlaws had just won the belts recently. Lawler asks Ross if he likes it doggy style. That’s just wrong. The Outlaws are showing off here which you NEVER see. It’s not bad actually. Edge is WAY into steroids here as he’s ripped as a rock.

I don’t know if I believe this but I think the Outlaws are having a good standard tag match here. What in the world am I watching? You could tell that the challengers were going to be awesome at some point in the future. What would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it misses.

Gunn gets the hot tag and he just starts whipping everything in sight. NICE powerslam. This is a solid as all goodness match actually. And here are the Hardys and Gangrel. They beat up Edge and Christian so the Fameasser ends it. Screw this good match thing! We want RUN INS! Russo was gone but still being felt at this time I guess.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here as they went back and forth with the Outlaws showing that they could go when they wanted to. This of course makes me want to know: why didn’t they do it more often? It’s a shame they didn’t as this was awesome. Of course Edge and Christian would have their time.

You know what sounds good right now? Edge and Christian vs. the Hardy Boys in a ladder match. From No Mercy 1999, for the first time ever.

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

They’re the New Brood here but you get the idea. The winner gets $100,000 and Terri. This is the night where these four broke through to the other side and changed the company for more or less ever. Keep in mind, none of the spots you’re about to see have ever been seen in the company before so this is all new stuff. What you have here is four guys being told to go out there and just do it. I’ve long since thought this WWF’s answer to the cruiserweights.

This is the Terri Invitational Tournament. Spell it out for yourselves. We start on the floor and this should be awesome. It’s a fight to get to the ladders. I’ve never gotten why you need to get to the ladder first. It’s not like that means you win or anything. I remember in War Games 2000 in WCW you had to get the belt down and leave with it. Kevin Nash just stood at the door. He didn’t have to do anything but leave with the belt, so why risk getting hurt to go up there and get it?

Let someone else do the work. First ladder is brought in and down goes Edge. The reactions to this are great. The fans are gasping at every spot which is what you want: to get the crowd excited. We’ve been in this match maybe four minutes and it’s already way ahead of the rest of the show. Oh Gangrel was thrown out. Swanton to Edge onto a ladder. Looking back this isn’t that great by comparison but it’s still very fun.

You have to keep in mind that there is nothing to compare it to at the moment. This is the first multi-man ladder match so this is just mind blowing. Also it’s the first time that there isn’t a big man like Ramon in there. These guys are designed for matches like this and it’s working really well. Edge is almost there and Matt just chucks a ladder at him. That was cool.

Matt’s crotch gets crushed. You know, it occurs to me that in storyline, Matt and Edge dated Lita, in the Christian/Jericho and Lita/Trish angle it was Christian and Lita and Jeff and Lita had a small thing once Matt was gone. Dang that girl gets around. Everyone is down now as Christian takes a Twist of Fate. Second ladder is set up. Jeff takes a Downward Spiral from the ladder.

The great thing about a ladder is that while most of the spots are from about the level of the second rope, having a ladder involved makes it seem cooler. The see-saw spot debuts and Christian and Matt get slammed in the face with it. These things never get old. The look on Edge’s face with him laying on his back with his eyes open is great. All four go up at once and all four come down with all four landing on the ropes.

Crowd is going nuts mind you. The roof camera view is pretty awesome actually. Edge climbs one ladder, Christian and Jeff climb another. Matt slams the ladder with two guys into the other ladder so Edge falls. Jeff jumps from one ladder to the other and knocks Edge off to grab the money. SWEET ENDING.

Rating: A. Just yes. This is the reason to see this PPV. This match just changed the WWF forever as they set the standard for awesome matches with ladders. The fans ate this up like no other and it still definitely holds up today. Just a great match and a prelude to everything that’s coming later.

Another title shot at the Outlaws, from February 7, 2000 on Raw.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Edge/Christian

Edge and Christian are challenging. As soon as the bell rings the Dudleys come out to watch. They’re in the middle of a feud with the Canadians (no really) and are at the moment the hottest tag team act since the 80s. Billy and Christian start us off and Christian speeds things WAY up, sending Billy into a near fit. Christian dives off the top onto both Outlaws on the floor but we missed part of it due to looking at Bubba looking at JR.

Billy avoids another Christian dive and it’s off to Road Dogg, but Christian gets in a shot of his own to bring Edge back in. A spinwheel kick gets two on Roadie and Edge is sent to the floor. Billy sends him into the steps and the most famous and successful guy out of all these four is in trouble. D-Von is going off on whatever comes to his mind on commentary, showing more emotion than I’ve heard from him in about ten years combined. Billy hits a Jackhammer for two.

Bubba wants to put JR through a table and Jerry actually claps. Edge hits a double neckbreaker on the Outlaws and the place erupts. Dallas has always had good crowds. There’s the hot tag to Christian and everything breaks down. Billy and Edge are sent to the floor and Christian counters the shaky punches into the reverse DDT for two. Edge spears Billy down for two but Bubba hits a cutter on Christian on the top rope, allowing Roadie to hit the pumphandle slam (his finisher) on Christian to retain the belts.

Rating: B-. It’s amazing how hot a good tag match can get a crowd. This was back when the tag division had been the Outlaws and whatever random teams were thrown together to fight for the tag titles. Then all of a sudden you have the Dudleys (who would basically squash the Outlaws for the titles later this month), the Hardys, Edge and Christian, the Outlaws to an extent and Too Cool and they were having some rocking matches. Unfortunately it only lasted a year and a half, but man alive it was a great year and a half.

We need tables. From No Way Out 2000.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. New Age Outlaws

So the Outlaws are more or less the biggest team ever at this point and this is just another title defense against the Dudleys who took the company by storm. Think Sheamus vs. Cena from TLC. Lawler randomly barking at Road Dogg is rather funny for some reason. After the normal intros we start with a big brawl of course.

The crowd is pretty hot but you can tell they’re saving themselves for the main event. Billy beat Bubba on Thursday and put him through a table. Road Dogg does his dancing punch and Bubba does what someone with intelligence would do (the irony of that stuns me) and DUCKS.

We get a What’s Up but it’s not named yet. This match is very short, as in like 5 minutes long. The Dudleys dominate for the most part until the required big brawl at the end. On the floor, Bubba blasts Gunn in the arm with a pipe. That legitimately injured him, putting him out of action for about 8 months.

When he got back Road Dogg was with K-Kwik (R-Truth) and Gunn got a singles push. Therefore unless there was some random reunion, this is the last New Age Outlaws match. Bubba realizes something is wrong and runs into the ring for 3D and the tag titles. This was a legit shock as more or less NO ONE thought the Dudleys had a chance.

Rating: D+. Way too short to be much of anything which I’m pretty sure was because of the injury. That happens so you do what you have to do. This would set up the triple ladder match at Mania and the first TLC match at Summerslam as wrestling started the INSANE period of gimmick matches. Yes I know ECW did them first but theirs were far sloppier and became clichéd as all goodness. Ok to revise it so I don’t get complained at: the insane period started in the mainstream. There.

I think I can skip the introduction to this one: it’s the triangle ladder match from Wrestlemania XVI.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.

Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.

D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.

Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.

Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

Too Cool would take the titles a few months later, setting up a four way Tag Team Title match at King of the Ring 2000.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Too Cool vs. Hardys vs. Too Cool

The champions, Too Cool (just take me now) are out last. Edge and Christian do the 5 second pose which is of Buckner and the Mets in 86. Lita and Trish look amazing. For some reason Too Cool is popular which I’ll never understand for the life of me. What was cool about them? Scotty’s belt is on upside down. This is elimianton rules by the way so it’s kind of like three matches in one which isn’t bad at all. Jeff has the rainbow hair now and starts with Albert.

Jeff is put in a gorilla press but flips out of it and hits a dropkick in a sweet little sequence. He and Matt beat on Albert. They really were a great team. Matt and Jeff keep getting out of the power moves from T&A as Lita and Trish get into it in foreshadowing of their epic future rivalry. The redhead is in the ring for no apparent reason and gets a nice cheer, and it allows Matt to pin Test after a Swanton.

It’s Jeff and Scotty now, who is apparently happy that he managed to get dressed all by himself this morning. Now let’s stop to dance a bit. They’re going really fast out there for no apparent reason. Jeff and Edge, who would eventually main event PPVs which I don’t think anyone really expected, go at it in what is of course a solid encounter. Lita, pink thong flying, throws a hurricanrana to get two on Edge for Jeff.

She’s still kind of annoying despite being hot. Everyone goes for or hit their finishers, resulting in Christian putting Matt out. Oh apparently Too Cool is still here. They had nothing at all to do with that so no one even remembered they were there. We just had to have Too Cool as champions too because we couldn’t let Edge and Christian and the Hardys go out there and just show off or anything good like that right?

Naturally Too Cool is just doing comedy stuff because it’s all they’re capable of. After a few minutes of Scotty getting beaten on, we get the epicness, yes EPICNESS I say of the hot tag to Grandmaster. It’s a comedy match for the most opart here for the tag titles. Too Cool seem like the guys that don’t realize they’re champions and couldn’t care less if they lost them.

Edge and Christian start a double worm but Scotty, despite being late and causing Christian to not know what he’s supposed to do, makes the stop. He does the worm, which of course takes about 30 seconds to do the whole thing, making it completely stupid. The champions hit a Trash Compactor but the referee is busy so Christian gets a shot with the belt to get the belts again.

Rating: C. This is the epitome of average. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just there. It’s about 15 minutes long or five minutes per elimination and Too Cool lost the belts to edge and Christian. That’s all there is to it. It’s not bad or great, but perfectly average, meaning it’s not really a good sign but Too Cool aren’t the champions anymore so I’m happy.

Again, no introduction needed: it’s TLC at Summerslam 2000.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Edge and Christian are defending coming in. The Boyz all battle in the ring to start but the Canadians bring in chairs. The Hardyz take them away but Bubba knocks one back into Jeff’s face. Edge and Christian get in some shots with the chairs to put everyone down and it’s ladder time. Bubba slams the ladder into Edge’s face and DDT’s Christian down as the fans want tables. Matt and Jeff come back in to powerbomb Bubba down and a second ladder is brought in.

Matt and D-Von climb up but it’s Edge climbing up as well to bring them down with a double Russian legsweep. Bubba and Christian climb up and it’s a Bubba Bomb to bring the champion back down. The fans LOVED that one for obvious reasons. Matt shoves down both ladders but Jeff sets one up and climbs for the gold. Edge pulls him down and drops him onto the other ladder, sending it flying up into Matt’s face in a painful spot.

The Conchairto misses Jeff and it’s Bubba picking up the ladder to run everyone over. What’s Up to Edge off the ladder pops the crowd a lot but the GET THE TABLES line gets them even louder. A 3D puts Christian through the table and Bubba wants to kill someone. He and D-Von stack up four tables (two by two) outside the ring and Jeff is their target. Edge saves him with a chair for some reason but Matt lays out Edge with the Twist of Fate.

Both Hardys drop legs from the ladder and Matt lays the ladder down next to Edge. Matt puts Edge inside the ladder and crushes him inside of it before throwing Christian off the top and onto the ladder, destroying Edge even worse. Jeff climbs a ladder outside the ring and tries a Swanton to Bubba but only hits the tables, knocking Jeff out cold. Christian knocks Bubba silly with a chair on the floor to put him down.

Back in the ring and the big ladder is set up with everyone but Bubba and Jeff going up. Christian hits the reverse DDT to pull Matt down and the other two go down at the same time. It’s a drunk looking Bubba coming back in and climbing the ladder but Edge and Christian gets up and shoves him through the four tables at ringside. The champions both climb but here’s Lita to shove the ladder over, crotching them both on the top rope.

Matt goes up but D-Von shoves the ladder backwards, sending Matt back first through a pair of tables in a SCARY bump. Edge spears Lita down, drawing a bad swear from JR. D-Von is climbing but somehow Jeff is on the other side. Both guys grab a belt but Edge moves the ladder, leaving both guys hanging. D-Von is knocked down and the Canadians spear Jeff in the ribs with a ladder to bring him down. Everyone else is dead so Edge and Christian go up and get the belts to retain.

Rating: A. These six guys have a great match involving ladders. Imagine that. This match holds up incredibly well but the sequel would somehow be even better. That’s the biggest problem with this match: people remember the sequel instead of this one. The table bumps in this were great with Bubba and Matt destroying anything they landed on. It’s a great carnage match and is worth checking out if you haven’t seen it in awhile.

Another fourway from Armageddon 2000.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Right to Censor vs. Dudley Boyz vs. K-Kwik/Road Dogg

K-Kwik is R-Truth and the RTC (Buchanan and Goodfather) are the champions here oddly enough. The Dudleyz had pretended to join the RTC but wound up putting Richards through a table. This appears to be one fall to a finish. Truth and Dogg do a rap to the ring and it’s awful. Buchanan and D-Von start us off and the champion dominates. I’d expect more or less a mess here for the most part.

Yep there’s nothing close to a structure here other than two guys in there at once more often that not. Bubba does Road Dogg’s dance in a funny bit. The fans want tables already and a very fast moving K-Kwik beats up Edge. This isn’t much at all. Everything breaks down and Truth goes for an over the top rope dive but gets caught in a shoulderbreaker.

What’s Up to Edge and it’s Table Time. This time though they just hit RTC with it. They TOTALLY mistime 3D as it ends in a downward spiral instead of a cutter. The one on Goodfather isn’t much better as the cutter barely connects. Spear to Bubba gets two as D-Von is down on the floor thanks to Steven. Unprettier gives Edge and Christian the tag belts.

Rating: D+. Total mess here with no need to have Road Dogg and Kwik in there as they just made things too complicated. Four teams are just too many and this never went anywhere. The tag titles hopped around all the time back in this era and it didn’t really matter what happened who had them here. Nothing that bad I guess but it just never got going at all.

Time for Edge and Christian vs. the Dudleys in a regular match, from Royal Rumble 2001.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boys

The Canadians have the titles and the Dudleys have concussions. It’s a brawl to start with the champions trying to bail very quickly. We wind up with Edge vs. D-Von to start as the challenger gets two off a neckbreaker. Off to Christian who is elbowed down for two of his own. Bubba comes in as Jerry makes fun of the Dudleys’ injuries. A side slam gets two on Christian and it’s off to D-Von vs. Edge again.

Christian finally goes for the back of D-Von’s injured head to give Edge control and we get into the meat of the match. Christian gets the tag and starts pounding away on D-Von’s head, followed by a neckbreaker from Edge for two. After a quick chinlock Edge hits a neckbreaker for two more as Bubba looks like he’s about to cry. Since it’s a Dudleys match, the fans want tables. Lawler wants gumbo.

D-Von breaks up a spike piledriver for reasons of wanting to stay alive, catapulting Edge into Christian. Edge and D-Von clothesline each other and the referee misses the ensuing hot tag. A Conchairto misses D-Von and there’s the seen hot tag to Bubba. A pair of hot shots takes down a pair of Canadians and there’s a Bubba Bomb to Christian. What’s Up hits Edge but wouldn’t that hurt D-Von’s head even more?

D-Von goes to get a table and the distraction lets Edge get a title belt. Bubba ducks the shot and gets a VERY close two off a rollup. 3D is broken up by a spear to Bubba and a DDT to D-Von but Bubba kicks out again. The champions try What’s Up but the Dudleys escape and the 3D on Edge gives us new champions.

Rating: B. This is one of those annoying matches where it’s really good and therefore there’s nothing to make fun of. These guys had some of the best tag matches the WWF has ever seen and this was no exception, with all four guys looking great out there. Notice something about Edge and Christian and the Hardys: they came from tag teams but they were allowed to grow up in said tag teams, meaning once they made the transition to singles matches they had a far easier time. That NEVER happens today which is why tag teams don’t make good singles wrestlers anymore. The crowd is white hot tonight too.

TLC II at Wrestlemania XVII.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are the champions coming in. There’s no story to it, but was there ever to one of these things? Edge and Christian get double teamed to start and the Dudleyz hit a double flapjack on Christian. Both sets of Boys fight in the corner with Jeff hitting Poetry in Motion on both at once. Cue Edge and Christian again with the ladder before Edge brings in a chair. The Canadians put Matt in the Tree of Woe and stand on his crotch. No wonder Lita left him for Edge.

Edge stats to climb but Matt makes the stop and goes up himself. That goes badly for him of course as Edge uses the chair as a stepping stone to take Matt down with a clothesline. Jeff dropkicks Edge off the ladder before joining with his brother to dropkick a ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. There are two ladders in the ring now in opposite corners. Christian is slammed down and hit with a stereo splash/legdrop from the Hardys. The Dudleys are back in now and there’s What’s Up.

It’s Table Time with Edge being placed on the first one, but Jeff tries a hurricanrana to Bubba, only to be powerbombed through Edge through the table. This is nonstop action so far. The Dudleys set up four tables at ringside as Paul tells us of Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Currently there’s a table in the corner and three ladders in the ring. Bubba picks up a ladder and CRACKS Matt in the head with it before setting it up next to the other two. All three are set up in a row in the middle of the ring so here’s a six way climb.

Matt and Christian go flying first with Matt landing on the ropes and Christian falling all the way to the floor. Jeff and D-Von fall into the opposite ropes and Edge and Bubba fall backwards, to put all six guys down. Edge is the only one halfway standing and Christian sets up a table on the floor. Bubba dumps a ladder to the floor to clear the ring out a bit as Spike Dudley, Bubba and D-Von’s cousin, runs in. He hits Edge low and puts Christian through a table with the Dudley Dog off the apron.

Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno runs in and destroys everyone in sight before sending Edge up the ladder to get the belts. Cue Lita to jerk Edge off. The ladder. Anyway with the thong sticking WAY out, Rhyno picks her up but gets hit low by Spike. Lita goes up for a rana on Rhyno and Spike cracks him in the head with a chair, sending Rhyno into the ladder, knocking Edge into the ropes. A Doomsday Device puts Rhyno down again but Lita CRACKS Spike in the head with a chair. She then takes off her top, giving us the biggest pop of the night. Not that it matters as she walks into a 3D and is now done for the match.

The Canadians come back in with chairs to take the champions out before Christian brings out the huge ladder. It’s on the floor but it’s still taller than the ones in the ring. Jeff, ever the crazy man, goes ALL THE WAY to the top and hits a Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (read as Rhyno barely gets hit and Spike takes every bit of it). The super ladder is set up in the ring now and it’s a race between D-Von and Christian. Matt moves the ladder away, leaving both guys hanging from the cord holding the belts.

Both guys fall down, but Jeff gets up on a regular ladder and tries to walk on the other small ladders like a tightrope. Jeff loses his balance though and has to hang from the cord as well. Bubba grabs the ladder and walks away with it while Jeff’s feet are still in it, pulling Jeff’s body back. The feet pull away and Jeff swings forward, right into a spear from Edge off the super ladder, drawing a BIG gasp from the crowd. That’s the spot that made everyone realize Edge was going to be something VERY special.

Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.

Rating: A+. If you’re looking for pure insanity and non-stop violence, this is the pinnacle of the genre. These nine people went for over fifteen minutes and never once stopped beating on each other. The spots are insane and the big spots still have you in awe. This match holds up incredibly well and is just as impressive as it was twelve years ago. Absolute masterpiece that blows away every MITB match that I can remember.

One more match from the glory years. From Raw on August 13, 2001.

Edge/Christian vs. Lance Storm/Justin Credible

We get an Impact Players pose on the stage which is always cool. Why? Because it happened in the past and is therefore inherently awesome. Heyman immediately starts talking about the history of the Alliance team. Christian takes over on Storm to start, hitting an atomic drop and it’s off to Justin. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Justin as the evil ones take over.

Christian takes Storm down and makes the tag to Edge. He cleans house but throws Justin into Christian, sending the latter into the barricade ala Shawn and Owen at Survivor Series 93. There’s no one for Edge to tag and a superkick gets two on him. Edge fights them both off and the Impaler ends Justin. Too short to rate again but this was another entertaining match.

Now we hit reunion special time, starting on November 15, 2004.

Edge/Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chris Benoit

Christian hammers on Benoit to start and they chop it out in the corner. It’s off to the freshly heel Edge and the white hot Shelton Benjamin with the Canadian hammering the kid down. Shelton charges into a boot in the corner before it’s back to Christian for some choking. Benjamin hammers away so it’s back to Edge who gets faceplanted onto the mat. Benoit comes in off the tag and the former brothers get in an argument on the floor. That’s fine with our heroes who hit stereo baseball slides to put Edge and Christian down.

We come back from a break with Edge holding Shelton in a cross armbreaker. A big boot gets two on Shelton and a double hiptoss gets the same. Edge snaps Benjamin’s throat across the top rope and gets that cocky smirk on his face. Shelton tries to fight back but Christian takes him down with a DDT on the arm. Back to Edge as Shelton avoids a charging Christian and nails Edge with the Dragon Whip.

The hot tag brings in Benoit as everything breaks down. Benoit starts rolling Germans on Christian and Edge spears Tomko by mistake. Now it’s Edge getting rolled in German but Christian breaks up the Swan Dive. Shelton nails Christian with a Stinger Splash and hits his t-bone suplex, setting up a Swan Dive and the Crossface to make Christian tap.

Rating: B-. They’ve still got it. Edge and Christian are the kind of guys that know each other so well that there’s almost no way they can screw up a match together. Shelton was on fire at this point and would become a big deal very soon. Benoit was his usual self, just a few months removed from dropping the World Title to Orton.

Speaking of Orton, he would team up with Shawn Michaels of all people to take on Edge and Christian on Raw, February 21, 2005.

Edge/Christian vs. Randy Orton/Shawn Michaels

The Canadians are heels here if you couldn’t guess. Orton and Christian take turns hammering on each other in the corner to start until Orton takes him down with a headlock for two. Off to Edge who gets caught in a rollup before Shawn comes in to a very high pitched squeal. It’s back to Christian who gets chopped into the corner again before Shawn just rams him into the buckle over and over. Christian finally gets evil and pokes Shawn in the eye to slow him down.

Back to Edge who has been more aggressively evil around this time. Shawn comes back with a Thesz press, sending Edge crawling over for a tag. Christian gets caught in a headlock takeover for some two counts as it seems we’ve got a lot of time for this one. After about five near falls, Christian finally sends Shawn to the floor where Edge can get in a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Shawn still in trouble and kicking out at two from an Edge clothesline. Shawn runs into Christian’s elbow in the corner but catches him coming off the top with a right hand to the ribs. A swinging neckbreaker drops Christian again and Shawn finally makes the hot tag to Orton. Randy hits a high powerslam on Edge followed by ten forearms to his kneeling chest.

A high cross gets two on Edge but Christian gets in a cheap shot, setting up a side slam/reverse DDT combo for two. Christian comes in legally but runs into an elbow just like his partner did earlier. Orton DDTs both Canadians to put all three guys down. Randy gets up first and makes the second hot tag to Michaels who cleans house, including an Angle Slam (Remember that this is about six weeks before Angle vs. Shawn) for two on Christian.

Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped. Edge spears Orton but there’s no one to count. Shawn drops the elbow on Christian but Edge breaks up Sweet Chin Music. The Conchairto fails and Sweet Chin Music is enough to pin Christian. How lucky that the referee woke up at that exact time.

Rating: B. Another long and good match here with both teams looking great throughout. Edge and Christian continue to be the team that never ages as they keep looking good together every time they’re out there. Shawn and Orton were more like two singles guys who happened to be working together but that’s often the case in modern tag wrestling.

One more from this era, exactly a month later on March 21, 2005’s Raw.

Edge/Christain vs. Chris Jericho/Shelton Benjamin

Jericho forearms Christian to start but Edge nails him from the apron to stop Chris’ momentum. Christian gets sent to the floor and Edge almost gets in a fight with him, only to have Jericho baseball slide the two of them into Tomko. Shelton follows him with a HUGE flip dive as we take a break. Back with Edge still in trouble but Christian snaps Benjamin’s neck across the ropes to take over.

Christian puts on a chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Edge for a dropkick and two. A kind of backbreaker stops Christian cold and there’s the tag to Jericho. He bulldogs his fellow Canadians down and hits the Lionsault on Christian. Jericho loads up the Walls on Edge but has to dropkick Tomko instead. We take another break and come back with nothing having changed for some reason.

Benjamin comes in and hammers on both Edge and Christian as things speed way up. A powerslam gets two on Edge and the Dragon Whip gets the same with Christian making the save. Jericho counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker but he dives into a big boot from Tomko. Shelton is back up with a Stinger Splash for Christian and a kick to a charging Edge. The referee gets distracted though, allowing Christian to nail Shelton with the Intercontinental Title, setting up the spear from Edge for the pin.

Rating: B-. Shelton continues to blow my mind with his jumping abilities and pure athleticism. It’s a shame that he never had the motivation to be the next guy in the company because he could have been a modern day Shawn Michaels. Other than that the match was as good as you would have expected these four to be in about fifteen minutes.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Edge’s last matches ever, from March 28, 2011 on Raw.

Edge/Christian vs. Brodus Clay/Alberto Del Rio

Edge vs. Brodus to start us off here and it’s off to Christian quickly. Christian knocks Clay to the floor and dives on him, only to get caught. Edge gets a baseball slide into the back of Christian to send Brodus down and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the arm of Christian. Off to Clay who gets two as Lawler and Cole argue about hair. Del Rio gets a middle rope elbow for two.

Tornado DDT out of the corner puts Del Rio down and here comes both Edge and Clay. Nice pop for the tag to Edge. Cross body fails for Edge but he avoids a powerslam to get an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio breaks up the spear and Christian breaks up Del Rio. Brodus misses a charge and the spear ends him at 5:42 shown of 8:12.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent tag match here with them having a nice way to get everyone in the ring at once. Christian and Clay have been nice additions to this feud as we’ve been able to avoid the stupid staredowns and debates and various other things like that. Not a bad match here and it keeps there from being any real contact between Edge and Del Rio before the PPV.

I don’t know what you want me to say about Edge and Christian. They’re an awesome tag team and one of the most successful pair of singles guys ever. Their stuff with the Dudleys and the Hardys is as entertaining as you’ll ever find and those ladder matches will be talked about for years to come. The fact that their reunions were as good as they were says a lot about them too.

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This man could have a future as a furniture mover: D-Von.

We’ll start things off with a singles match from the night ECW invaded the WWF. From February 24, 1997 Raw.

Tommy Dreamer vs. D-Von Dudley

We get Beaulah if nothing else. Dreamer looks YOUNG here and for some reason didn’t wrestle at the PPV. They lock up immediately as everyone is FAR more impressed with Beaulah than the match which I can’t blame them for. Heyman rightfully kisses up to Vince for this. Dreamer breaks out some weapons to make things interesting for a change. Lawler hating on violence is funny considering one of his most famous things is the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl (look that up if you’ve never heard of it).

All Dreamer so far here. Naturally we plug the stuff later on in Raw but again ECW needs to be happy with what they got, which I’m sure they were. Lawler goes on a total shoot, talking about how he’s been in wrestling for 20 years and has never been ashamed to be a wrestler but is now because this stuff is in his ring. He also didn’t mind showing up on ECW shows at least twice and getting a big paycheck for it.

Dreamer with a Piledriver next to a chair as Lawler is reaching Austin levels of ranting here. Taker cuts a split screen promo and while he’s talking about Sid (it was the main event of Mania 13 so first of all it’s more important than the match, but second, THIS GETS A PROMO WHILE WE HAVE A MATCH?) Dreamer hits the DDT for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Just a quickie here as the highlight was Lawler’s insane rant against Heyman and ECW. Based on what I’ve heard most of that was legit as Lawler wasn’t a fan of ECW at all. There are few people more old school than Lawler so that doesn’t surprise me, but considering how many Memphis companies he’s been apart of he doesn’t have a ton of room to talk about anyone else’s failing. Granted he had a national TV spot every Monday night so maybe he can talk about them.

We’ll pick things up about three years later on Raw, February 14, 2000 with the winner’s team getting a Tag Team Title shot at No Way Out.

D-Von Dudley vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

D-Von is quickly flapjacked down and double teamed in the corner, followed by Poetry In Motion with Edge playing Jeff for some reason. D-Von finally sends Edge to the floor to leave him alone with Jeff. A slam gets two on Hardy but Edge dropkicks D-Von into Jeff, knocking both guys down. The partners get in a fight on the floor as Jeff hits a Swanton for two on Dudley. Edge spears Hardy down but gets caught in a reverse inverted DDT for a pin. Too short to rate but it was fun while it lasted.

We’ll jump ahead to Survivor Series 2000 where D-Von is on a team with his brother and a few others.

Team Dudley Boys vs. Team Edge and Christian

Dudley Boys, Hardy Boys vs. Edge and Christian, Bull Buchanan, Goodfather

Buchanan and Goodfather are the RTC and they’re actually tag champions here instead of one of the other three teams. Bubba and Bull start things off but the crowd is kind of dead so far. Bubba elbows him down for two and it’s off to D-Von. A big boot puts D-Von down and it’s off to Goodfather for another boot to the head but no cover. Off to Christian who pounds away at D-Von but walks into a reverse inverted DDT. This match isn’t exactly taking off.

Matt comes in to clean house as everything breaks down. The Hardys take off their shirts to reveal camo shirts that match the Dudleys. In the melee, the Edge-O-Matic (actually called that here) pins Matt. D-Von vs. Edge now with the former hitting a swinging neckbreaker for no cover. D-Von takes down both Canadians with a double clothesline but a Buchanan distraction lets Christian hit the Killswitch for the elimination to make it 4-2.

Bubba comes in and throws Christian around a bit before it’s off to Jeff. The fans want tables but they get Jeff sent to the floor and a tag to Buchanan. Back to Bubba who runs over the Bull a few times and beats up Goodfather a bit too. The Canadians get backdropped a few times before Edge accidentally spears Buchanan down, giving Bubba an easy pin. Christian accidentally splashes Edge giving Bubba another easy pin. It’s Jeff/Bubba vs. Christian/Goodfather.

They botch something but Goodfather hooks a Death Valley Driver for the pin on Bubba. Jeff gets to start with Christian but knocks Goodfather off the apron first. Christian misses a charge and hits post. The Swanton eliminates Christian and about twenty seconds later Val Venis (also RTC) clotheslines Goodfather by mistake, giving Jeff the winning pin.

Rating: C-. Much like the rest of the show, this wasn’t bad but it was nothing interesting for the most part. The tag division would get going again soon with TLC 2 which was somehow even better than the first edition. Having Jeff win here is fine but without Matt at this point, the fans didn’t really care. Granted that could be said about the rest of the show too. Again, another acceptable match but nothing I’ll remember in an hour.

Another triple threat, this time from Raw on February 19, 2001.

Undertaker vs. D-Von vs. Christian

Uh….ok? Oh that’s right there’s the tag team triple threat on Sunday. The Dudleys have the belts coming into Sunday. Only Edge comes out with his partner and Lillian botches the intros, saying that Edge and Christian are champions here. D-Von hammers on Taker to start us off while Christian chills on the floor.

Edge goes into a rant about how awesome his family is rather than the others, such as how at family reunions they play hockey rather than putting people through tables. Also he got Christian a spaghetti strainer for Christmas and didn’t burn him to the point of needing a mask. Edge was hilarious at this point as you can tell.

Taker grabs an armbar on Christian until D-Von makes the save. Double suplex to Taker as this turns into a handicap match for a bit. D-Von gets a lifting sitout reverse DDT for two as Taker makes the save. The tall dude gets in Edge’s face and the Canadian is shoved down. Edge gets on the apron, allowing Christian to hit a low blow. That gets no one anywhere though as everything breaks down again and the Last Ride kills Christian dead to end this.

Rating: C. Just a mess but not bad really. That was the point of matches like these back in the day so this was fine. Taker somehow jumped over to face HHH and got out of this weak tag team thing he was stuck in. Just a fun match here for the most part that set up the tag title match on Sunday which is fine.

D-Von would get a Hardcore Title shot on Raw, November 26, 2001.

Hardcore Title: D-Von Dudley vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and D-Von is a tag champion. D-Von immediately hits him with a stop sign, which in real life would be grounds for near death but here it puts Van Dam down for about 6 seconds. D-Von goes to the floor where Van Dam moonsaults him for two. Back inside and D-Von hits a big powerbomb to take Van Dam down for no cover.

A HARD trashcan lid shot to the head puts Van Dam down but again Rob won’t sell very long and superkicks D-Von down. Rob goes up but get neckbreakered down onto a chair for a delayed two. Van Dam goes up but gets crotched again. Sell that? Nah. Instead he shoves D-Von off the ropes and hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: C-. Van Dam’s non selling was really annoying but D-Von’s offense looked good. I always liked him better than Bubba but Bubba has about 10,000x more personality so Bubba got the probably better deserved push. Anyway, the match was fine given that it lasted about three and a half minutes and was a forgone conclusion.

The team would be split due to the Brand Split, meaning D-Von was sent to Smackdown. D-Von became a reverend for no apparent reason but he did have an impressive deacon who collected money. The deacon’s name: Batista. Here’s Batista’s debut at ringside on Smackdown, May 9, 2002.

Reverend D-Von vs. HHH

The Game hammers away to start but gets caught in a hot shot onto the buckle. There’s actually some psychology there as HHH has a bandaged forehead. HHH fights back with right hands but is sent to the floor for a beating from Batista. Back in and D-Von drops the big elbow as Batista keeps an eye on the building fund box. D-Von nails a top rope forearm to the head for two more but misses the swan dive. HHH bails to the floor for a minute and avoids a Batista charge, sending him into the post. The distraction lets Jericho come in and nail HHH in the head with the money box to give D-Von the big upset.

Rating: D. This is more noteworthy for the major upset and the debut of a future World Champion. The Reverend character was brand new at this point and a win over HHH showed that they might be going somewhere with it. The fact that it was D-Von kind of threw a wrench into those plans though.

Here he is on August 29, 2002 against a hotshot rookie. Oh and he’s now a reverend.

Reverend D-Von vs. John Cena

Cena nails a dropkick and something resembling a bulldog for a fast two count to start. D-Von avoids a second dropkick and stomps away before dropping an elbow for two. More hard shots to the face have Cena in trouble but he comes back with a kind of swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker. A series of forearms have D-Von in trouble but he comes back with a clothesline. D-Von misses a top rope headbutt and gets rolled up for two more. Cena hamers away in the corner, only to get caught in an atomic drop, setting up Saving Grace (reverse inverted DDT) for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work as the chemistry wasn’t there and Cena had only been around a few months at this point. Cena was very aggressive though, which fit the Ruthless Aggression era that they were shooting for. The Reverend gimmick was fun but clearly a dead end for D-Von.

Batista would split from D-Von soon after this, setting up a match between the two on Smackdown, September 5, 2002.

Reverend D-Von vs. Batista

D-Von hammers away as Batista hits the ring, shouting that he made Batista. That’s the extent of his offense at first as a big chokebomb sends D-Von out to the floor. A chair to Batista’s back….doesn’t draw a DQ for some reason. Back in and the elbow drop gets two on Batista but that’s about it for D-Von being in control. Batista shrugs everything off and plants D-Von with a Batista Bomb for a very fast pin.

The Dudleys would reunited in late 2002 so we’ll skip ahead a bit. Here’s an ECW reunion match from Smackdown on May 13, 2004.

D-Von Dudley vs. Rob Van Dam

Bubba offers an early cheap shot to give D-Von the early advantage but Rob comes back with the usual strikes. A spinning kick to the face drops D-Von and a leg lariat gets two. Bubba offers a second distraction though, allowing D-Von to pull Van Dam out of the corner with a neckbreaker to take over. D-Von chokes with a bandage and hammers away in the corner before we hit a neck crank.

Back up and a VERY hard clothesline gets two on Rob before it’s back to the chinlock. Rob fights up again and takes over with kicks (of course), including a nice one off the top for two. Bubba interferes AGAIN but this time gets kicked in the face and taken down with a flip dive off the apron. Rolling Thunder connects but Bubba puts D-Von’s foot on the ropes. Rob kicks D-Von in the face again but the referee gets poked in the eye. More interference lets D-Von DDT Van Dam out of the corner for the big upset.

Rating: D+. Actually not terrible here with D-Von looking crisp while he was on offense. Bubba’s interference went on too long though and it got annoying after the first two times. That being said, there’s no reasonable way to have D-Von get a win over someone the level of Van Dam.

We’ll wrap up WWE with this match from Smackdown on August 19, 2004.

D-Von Dudley vs. John Cena

This is a result of Cena having words with Spike in the back earlier tonight. US Champion Booker T., Cena’s current rival, is on commentary. D-Von hammers away in the corner but gets slammed down for two. A spinning back elbow nails Cena for two and a big elbow drop gets the same. Cena takes his head off with a clothesline as Booker compares Cena to Vanilla Ice. Not that it matters as John initiates the finishing sequence, takes out Bubba, and nails the FU for a fast pin.

We’ll jump ahead to TNA now but a few years into Team 3D’s run as there aren’t many singles matches to pick from at first. We’ll pick things up at Against All Odds 2009 in a glorified tag match for the World Title.

TNA World Title: Brother D-Von vs. Brother Ray vs. Sting vs. Kurt Angle

They do the long intros where we see them coming from the locker room and everyone gets a hype video. In other words, entrances take about ten minutes. The Dudleys come out together and are Japanese tag champions. JB does the big match intros in jeans, which doesn’t work at all. The Dudleys take over to start, working together because they’re you know, a team.

Angle rams them together though but the Mafia guys get clotheslined down. Bubba and D-Von face off and Bubba lays down for D-Von to pin him. It only gets two but that’s rather brilliant. Why not go with a submission though? Double flapjack takes Sting down. Now they actually slug it out with D-Von taking over. Ray gets a slam as this is more of an exhibition than a competitive match. Double clothesline leads to a stalemate.

Angle and Sting are back in now and everything goes out to the floor in a big brawl. Let’s make fun of Vince a bit because that’s what we need to do right? Bubba gets put in the ankle lock and D-Von is in the Scorpion. Angle gets kicked off and into Sting, causing some issues with the Mafia. Bubba tries a Figure Four on Sting and it’s a total failure.

Kurt’s eye is busted badly. Bubba gets the figure four (close enough I guess) and Angle is in a Boston Crab. In a NICE touch, Kurt crawls over onto Sting while still in the hold and gets two. That was really creative and psychology if I’ve ever seen it. The holds are broken and Kurt hits an enziguri to Bubba. The blood is off Kurt’s eye and it looks a lot better. The Mafia squares off and trade finisher attempts.

The Dudleys break up an ankle lock attempt and the fans are behind them. Angle Slam to Sting gets two. Ray gets a Rock Bottom (called that by West) gets two on his partner. Angle tries ten corner punches on D-Von but gets caught in a Doomsday Device for a long two. 3D is loaded up but Sting avoids it. Stinger Splash misses but Angle breaks up What’s Up. And never mind as Sting grabs a really quick Death Drop on Bubba to end it.

Rating: C-. At the end of the day, the Dudleys were in the main event of a PPV and it was for a world title. Why in the world am I supposed to think that they have a chance here? The match itself wasn’t anything special as it was really a glorified tornado tag match. No idea why they didn’t go with a tag with the title on the line but it’s TNA so I’m probably thinking too hard.

Team 3D would start feuding with Ink Inc., setting up this match at Victory Road 2010.

Brother Ray vs. Brother D-Von vs. Jesse Neal

Let’s get this over with. Ray comes out first and hides behind the set. He jumps Neal and there’s no D-Von. We cut to the back where D-Von is locked in his dressing room, presumably by Bubba. Clearly the cameraman has no arms because he doesn’t let him out which would involve moving a board. Oh look: more kind of false advertising as it’s the same match from last month.

Again we hear about how much Neal’s life has sucked. We get it already guys, let it go. No one cares about Neal and that’s all there is to it. This is nothing but basic stuff as we’re all just waiting for D-Von to come running out for the big save or beatdown or whatever. Ray of course uses the big boot because that’s all anyone uses for a big strike anymore. The ECW guys are here.

They distract Bubba a bit and Neal gets a spear for two. Shannon Moore comes down for a save which lets Ray hit Neal with a chair. D-Von finally comes out and there’s a staredown. They both look at Jesse and then slug it out. Neal accidently spears D-Von and a Bubba Bomb ends it. D-Von was in the ring for maybe a minute total.

Rating: F. This was false advertising if nothing else. This was a one on one match with two run-ins. What was the point to this? Just do 3D vs. Ink Inc like you want to do. No one cares about this feud and no one wants to see Bubba vs. D-Von, so of course that’s what we’re going to get.

Team 3D finally split up and started their feud, including this match at Genesis 2011.

Bully Ray vs. Brother D-Von

They can’t just call him D-Von? Ray pulls Val up to hide as D-Von comes at him on the ramp. Val slaps him and the fight is on. They slug it out on the floor to start with D-Von dominating. They brawl for three or four minutes and then we get a bell. Dang it they have even more time to waste here. Ray begs off from D-Von and can’t hit his low blow.

Thesz Press leads to punches by D-Von. Back to the floor again as they’re thankfully not trying to make this a match. They’re up in the stands now as somehow this isn’t a countout yet. A fan throws what looks like a shoe to D-Von. Ok then. Back to the ring and Bubba finally takes over. Ray is busted. He slaps D-Von in the corner and then runs when D-Von Dudleys Up.

Bubba misses an elbow as I try to think of what I’d trade to not have to watch this. Bubba Bomb doesn’t work and D-Von gets two. LOUD chops by Bubba in the corner set up a suplex off the middle rope for a long two. Ray picks up a chain from nowhere in particular. D-Von stops it and picks up the chain and whips Bubba for the DQ. Are you freaking kidding me?

Rating: D. It was boring, it wasn’t particularly good, and it’s Bubba vs. D-Von in 2011 on PPV in a grudge match. Do I need to explain to you why this was completely awful? I didn’t like this in the slightest and of course it means we’re going to have another match between them because they’re draws right?

D-Von would be in the 2011 Bound For Glory Series and had this match on August 4, 2011’s Impact.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Devon

Basic stuff to start with AJ avoiding various offense using speed. Pope is with D-Von’s kids again. D-Von gets a back elbow for two and spots Pope. AJ grabs a rolling cross armbreaker but D-Von makes the floor. Styles Clash is blocked as in D-Von’s reverse inverted DDT. Pele gets two as Daniels is seated at ringside cheering AJ on. AJ goes to yell at him and misses a springboard, letting Devon rolling him up for a pin at 3:35. Yes that really happened.

Rating: C. Nothing here at all as it’s almost too short to grade. D-Von is nothing of note at all as he’s just D-Von. The Pope and Daniels things could be interesting eventually but at the moment it doesn’t look like anything is coming from them. I wasn’t impressed here but the stuff that they did was ok I guess. Not a fan of the same ending to two matches in a row though.

D-Von would team up with D’Angelo Dinero and get a Tag Team Title shot at No Surrender 2011.

Tag Titles: D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mexican America

Remember when TNA had the best tag division by far? Man that seems like forever ago. Can we watch Sarita and Rosita dance instead of watching this match? D-Von vs. Anarquia starts us off. The fans chant for the USA. Off to Pope very quickly as they work on the arm. Ok back to D-Von as the challengers are tagging in very fast. SuperMex comes in and D-Von is all cool with that too.

A clothesline puts Hernandez down for a bit and it’s off to Pope, who according to the audience is pimping. If anyone knows what it means to be pimping, it’s a town famous for having a Mouse theme park in it. Anarquia comes in again and this is firmly in first or second gear. The challengers hit something resembling a Hart Attack but with a shoulder instead of a clothesline and D-Von playing the rope of Bret.

Pope kisses Rosita and then holds her by the air above the floor off the apron. FREAKING OW MAN!!! D-Von and Pope set for What’s Up but Sarita breaks it up. Despite looking nothing like him at all, D-Von lands the role of Ricky Morton. Anarquia hits a back elbow for two. Mexican America hits a pair of splashes and Rosita adds a dropkick. Hernandez takes forever to set up a charge and is taken down by a spear from D-Von.

A double tag brings in Anarquia and Pope with Pope cleaning most of the rooms in the house but not all of the house. Top rope cross body gets two on Anarquia and the champs take down Pope with Hernandez hitting a top rope headbutt but there’s no cover from either of them. Everything breaks down and a double shoulder block puts down Hernandez. The girls come in and get stereo spankings. D-Von takes down Hernandez and we go back to Wrestlemania V as Pope suplexes Anarquia back in but one of the chicks hooks his leg for the fall on top pin at 9:53.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but I could see how some people would. The girls got involved about five times and the ending was so cliched it’s almost unbearable. That’s what this show has been: one cliched ending after another. Also, D-Von and Pope are the best tag team they could get for this? At least the Brits are a regular team that gets along more than a week before the PPV. Not into this at all.

At Victory Road 2012, TV Champion Robbie E. issued an open challenge.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. ???

This is another open challenge because we don’t have time to get the TV Title on TV since Garrett Bischoff needs to get his five minutes every week. Robbie says that there’s no open challenge tonight because everyone is afraid of him. The fans want RVD. Oh apparently the invitational is going to happen tonight but now fans can take him up on it. They go around the ring and Robbie makes fun of fans, including three overweight women. He asks Val, but says they’ll be “wrestling” later. Big Rob says she’s not on the list. This goes on forever. The open challenge is officially canceled so they’re going to pose instead. We have a challenger.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

Yes, this is what’s on PPV. He comes through the crowd for some reason. Robbie backs off so Brian Hebner says we’re doing this. D-Von is in street clothes. There’s another Tweet. One man flapjack puts Robbie down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Matt Morgan is trending. Robbie tries to get a chair but BROOKE HOGAN stops him. I kid you not, she’s in the front row and grabbed the chair from him. Back in and D-Von runs him over with clotheslines and shoulder blocks. A splash in the corner sets up a clothesline for two. A spinebuster gives D-Von the title at 3:02. Just retire the title. Now.

Rating: F. D-Von Dudley is a singles champion. Never mind that it’s 2012. D-Von freaking Dudley is a singles champion. That doesn’t need any more explanation. Oh and Brooke Hogan was involved in this. They did fire Russo didn’t they? I mean….D-VON JUST WON A TITLE. With the roster they have, they pick him? Who thinks that’s a good idea?

Then D-Von would feud with Robbie E. Then Robbie T. Then BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE. From Sacrifice 2012.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Robbie E vs. Robbie T

Officially it’s a triple threat. D-Von punches T to the floor and then punches E down. A Rock Bottom gets two on E but T pulls the champion to the floor. E gets back up and tells T to stand down because he’s got this. Powerslam gets two for E. D-Von comes back and knocks E to the floor but T catches him with a shot to the back. Powerslam gets two as E makes the save. Extra and Terrestrial get in a shoving match, allowing D-Von to roll up T to retain at 5:40.

Rating: D+. This feud MUST be over now right? It’s been going on for like four months now and for the life of me I don’t get why it’s continued this long. Are there really no other people that can get in on the TV Title hunt? Nothing to see here but hopefully it ends this feud once and for all.

D-Von would defend his title on Impact, July 5, 2012.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Crimson

Crimson grabs a pair of quick two counts and make it three, the third try having his feet on the ropes. That gets him nowhere so he hammers D-Von into the corner. A low clothesline gets two and D-Von starts his comeback. Crimson takes his head off with a clothesline for another two which was really sloppy. Crimson walks into the spinebuster for the pin at 2:02. As usual, D-Von comes, he goes, the match ends and we move on to the next week.

D-Von would leave the company due to his contract expiring, still as TV Champion. He would return to the company and join the Aces and 8’s, setting up a match at Turning Point 2012.

D-Von vs. Kurt Angle

D-Von is here alone. We stall for a good while before the bell as D-Von won’t get in the ring to fight Angle, which is probably a good idea. After wasting about two minutes, D-Von gets in and uses his wide array of punches to take over. D-Von hits his shoulder block to put Kurt down but Angle suplexes D-Von in return. The momentum doesn’t really build though as Kurt misses a charge into the post and we head to the floor.

That goes nowhere so we head back in for the D-Von spinning back elbow for two. Off to a chinlock as this is exactly what you would expect so far: D-Von is using really basic stuff because that’s about all he’s good at on his own. When he’s facing Kurt Angle, that’s hard to buy as an effective offense. Taz goes into a way too long explanation of how D-Von and Doc wear the same belt but we can’t see it because D-Von’s shirt is out.

Anyway, Angle hits a missile dropkick and a flying forearm to put D-Von down followed by a belly to belly for two. The Angle Slam is escaped and D-Von clotheslines Angle down. D-Von goes up for the swan dive but Kurt runs up the ropes and hits a belly to belly superplex off the top for two. The ankle lock goes on but D-Von kicks him away and hits a Rock Bottom for two. They botch a powerbomb counter and Kurt rolls some Germans for two.

Angle goes to the corner for what would have been a moonsault that Rey Mysterio in his prime would have had issues hitting. D-Von powerbombs him out of the corner to prevent Kurt from having to try it but it only gets two. D-Von is limping around badly because of the ankle lock so at least the selling is good. The swan dive misses but the Angle Slam only gets two. Seriously? D-Von gets to kick out of the Slam? Aces and 8’s surround the ring and D-Von spears Angle down for two. Not that it matters as the ankle lock gets the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. It’s D-Von vs. Kurt Angle. Seriously that should up everything you should need to know about this match. There is no way on earth you can validate D-Von as a realistic threat to Kurt Angle. D-Von does not have the skills to hang in a nearly fifteen minute match with Kurt Angle and that’s all there is to it. That makes the match very dull and shows the need for a main event level guy in Aces and 8’s.

D-Von had his chance to get the TV Title back on December 6, 2012’s Impact.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. D-Von

Joe is defending and takes over to start by running over D-Von. A knee drop keeps D-Von down for a bit but D-Von low bridges Joe to take him to the floor. A pair of splashes get two for D-Von but the middle rope headbutt misses. Joe comes back with a kick to the chest and a backsplash for two. A Rock Bottom out of the corner puts D-Von down again and there’s the Koquina Clutch. Some blonde chick gets on the apron, allowing Doc to hit Joe win the back with the hammer to give D-Von the title back at 3:55.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here at all but it was pretty clear that D-Von was getting the belt back here. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s has to have SOMETHING right? They now have a title, albeit the lower midcard belt. This still does nothing to make me care about them at all, but there was no other option here.

Aces and 8’s targeted Joseph Park, setting up this match at Genesis 2013.

D-Von vs. Joseph Park

Non-title here. The fans are all behind Joseph of course…and then they split into dueling chants because the Impact Zone is annoying. D-Von yells at Park for messing up basic stuff and then goes behind Joe to mess with his hair. In something I never thought I would say, D-Von uses chain wrestling to take over and takes Park down to embarrass him. D-Von gets down in an amateur position but Park does some of the same chain stuff that D-Von did earlier and slaps D-Von in the back of the head. Funny stuff.

After D-Von rants on the floor for a bit, he charges into a hip toss, an armdrag and a one armed slam. D-Von knocks him to the floor in retaliation and rams Park into the steps. Back in and the buckle gets ripped off as Park is in trouble. Park blocks a shot into the buckle and pounds away, only to walk into a jumping back elbow. A clothesline puts D-Von down and Park hooks a double leg takedown and pounds away before going to the corner. Oh this isn’t going to end well.

Joseph goes to the second rope and hits a splash for two but D-Von sends him into the exposed buckle. It busts Park open and it’s Abyss time. A Black Hole Slam out of nowhere puts D-Von down and he loads up a chokeslam before snapping back into reality. D-Von grabs a rollup with a handful of tights for the pin at 11:40.

Rating: C+. The character is still funny, but they’ve been doing this same thing for months now and while the wrestling training is a step in the right direction, they need to something substantial with him before the charm wears off. It’s clear they’re building to a huge Abyss return, but I’m not sure when it’s actually going to happen. Fun stuff here though.

D-Von was entered into the competition at Joker’s Wild.

D-Von/Doc vs. Alex Silva/Hernandez

Well that’s quite a coincidence. D-Von and Silva start things off and after about two minutes of circling each other we get some actual contact. Silva gets pounded down in the corner and D-Von is toying with him. A one footed dropkick staggers D-Von and it’s off to Hernandez to give him a real challenge. Off to Doc for the power vs. power match with both guys getting to show off their strength.

A delayed vertical suplex puts Doc down and it’s off to Silva who is promptly destroyed. D-Von crotches him against the post and it’s off to a chinlock by Doc. Off to D-Von again for a knee drop and a two count as Silva continues to be beaten down. Doc comes in with a legdrop for two and some elbows to the chest. A big splash gets another two as Silva’s destruction continues. D-Von puts on a front facelock but Silva escapes for the tag off to Hernandez. SuperMex cleans house but Alex tags himself back in like an idiot. A missile dropkick gets two on Doc but he gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. So a team that regularly works together is better than a thrown together team with a rookie for a member. It took ten minutes to get that point across? There’s nothing special to see here and if I have to hear about Taz’s sidecar one more time I’m going to lose my mind. The commentary on this show is absolutely horrible and it’s driving me insane.

More Aces and 8’s, this time against Sting on March 7, 2013’s Impact.

Sting vs. D-Von

This is match #1 in a three match series with the winner getting the advantage in Lethal Lockdown. Sting jumps D-Von to start but gets clotheslined down for two. D-Von hooks a neck crank and pounds away in the corner for a bit. The top rope headbutt misses though and the fight heads to the floor. Some fan throws something in Sting’s face which looks to be red paint of some kind, allowing D-Von to hit a big boot back in the ring for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D. I’m still trying to get over the D’Lo thing. This was another worthless match that doesn’t prove anything because the team is led by D’Lo freaking Brown. What in the world is the point of this team anymore? It’s like the bottom of the barrel of wrestling getting together to form a stable, but we’re supposed to take them seriously.

Here’s a big blowoff match between TNA and Aces and 8’s (one of many) with the person taking the fall being fired.

Aces and 8’s vs. Main Event Mafia

Aces and 8’s: Wes Brisco, Garrett Bischoff, Knux, D-Von, Mr. Anderson
Main Event Mafia: Sting, Samoa Joe, Rampage Jackson, Magnus

The loser of the fall is gone from TNA forever and the Mafia comes in down a man due to Angle going to rehab. Before the bell Anderson calls out Ray to sit on the stage and watch. Anderson goes on to say that the Mafia can pick someone to lay down without a fight. Sting says no way because they want to fight. There go the lights for some reason and here’s AJ Styles. He throws the hood back and the music changes to Get Ready To Fly, meaning the Phenomenal One is back and part of the Mafia tonight.

It’s a huge brawl to start until we finally get down to Magnus vs. Wes to start. Magnus throws him into the corner and brings in Joe to pound Brisco down. Joe hits the enziguri in the corner for two before it’s off to Garrett. AJ comes in for the fireman’s carry flip into a backbreaker as we take a break. Back with Magnus in trouble in the Aces corner. The bikers take turns on the Brit with everyone getting in shots.

Garrett gets two off a clothesline as the fans chant YES. Anderson comes in for a suplex before it’s back to D-Von for a neck crank. The fans tell him he sucks and Taz rants about Hogan a bit. The back elbow puts Magnus down again and D-Von Spinaroonis up. Back to Knux for some choking but Magnus scores with a quick DDT for a breather. There’s the hot tag to Sting and everything breaks down. Jackson starts cleaning house but Knux gets in a cheap shot.

Sting takes Knux down with the Death Drop and puts on the Deathlock but D-Von makes the save. Knux can only get two though and things settle down again. AJ gets the hot tag and hits the springboard forearm to D-Von. A backfist and a standing enziguri get two for Styles but everything breaks down again. Styles loads up the Clash on D-Von but has to hit the Pele on Anderson. D-Von spears Styles down but AJ comes right back with the Clash to get rid of D-Von at 16:16.

Rating: C+. The match was ok because it actually got some time. The fans were pleased for AJ’s return to form which has been needed for a long time. Getting rid of D-Von is fine as he doesn’t really do anything other than say TESTIFY. Hopefully it leads to the end of the Aces as they’re so far past their expiration date it’s unreal.

D-Von would return to TNA as a member of the Hall of Fame and help Bully Ray in a hardcore war on Impact, August 7, 2014.

Ethan Carter III/Rhino/Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky vs. Team 3D/Tommy Dreamer/???

This is a hardcore war but entrances are staggered every 90 seconds and the win can’t take place until the last man enters. It’s Carter vs. Dreamer to get things going and both have weapons. They quickly head outside with Dreamer’s knees being sent into the steps. Back in and Dreamer hits a quick suplex with a Singapore cane before driving in a bunch of right hands in the corner. Rhino comes in to make it 2-1 and nails Dreamer with the trashcan lid. A bad looking spinebuster sets up some cane shots but D-Von ties things up with a trashcan. D-Von takes over with a few shots of his own and we take a break.

Back with Snitsky giving the Carters an advantage (and looking to weigh about 400lbs) until Bully Ray runs out to even things up again and clean house. Ray looks up at Dixie and Mo as the ECW guys keep dominating. Stephens comes in to complete Team Dixie and clean house with a chair. The heels destroy everyone until the big mystery partner is Al Snow.

The fans want Head (and have a bunch of mannequin heads of course) as Al beats up everyone again. Ray nails a top rope cross body (didn’t look bad either) to take out the mercenaries. Spud tries to make a save but gets What’s Up from Head. Snow moonsaults onto every heel not named Rhino as this just keeps going. Not that it matters as 3D ends Rhino at 17:37.

Rating: D+. This was just WarGames minus the cage and a lot of the talent. There wasn’t much to see here and Al Snow was about as uninteresting of a partner as there could have been. Also, I didn’t need a second hardcore match in an hour but this show is an ECW tribute show anymore so you have to have it.

D-Von is a guy that has had some success on his own but was much better in the tag team scene. He’s got a good look and was the member of the Dudleys I liked best until Bubba became Bully. I didn’t care for him as TV Champion, but I was always a Dudleys fan. An often bored fan, but a fan nonetheless.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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HIS NAME IS KID……Kash.

David Jericho vs. Steve Skyfire

Jericho is doing a Ricky Morton thing. Oh wait that actually is Ricky Morton in his corner. The heel commentator says this is going to be boring because the fans like both guys. Jericho grabs an early headlock before Skyfire falls out of the ring on what appeared to be an armdrag attempt. Back up and Jericho is holding his shoulder but goes after Steve’s leg to take over. A legdrop gets two for David and he nails some loud chops. Skyfire snaps off his own loud chops and plants him with a powerbomb.

The announcers talk about IPW having very lenient DQ rules and no countouts. So it’s an ECW ripoff? Skyfire puts on a surfboard followed by a backbreaker and a middle rope forearm for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jericho is sent into the buckle. After a little slip, Steve hits a middle rope moonsault for two. Jericho comes back with a Frankenjericho for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was just a basic cruiserweight style match and nothing all that special. To be fair though this is just an indy company down in North Carolina so they need ring time to get better at what they do. Skyfire was nothing special but the commentator was kind of funny so there was something here.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to early 2000 as Kash was becoming a bigger deal in ECW. From Living Dangerously 2000.

Mike Awesome vs. Kid Kash

Kash hammers away to start but Awesome launches him with a release belly to belly suplex. They head outside with Kash taking some hard clotheslines, only to backdrop Awesome into the crowd. Kid runs back inside back hits a huge dive to take both guys out. Kash lays out Jones with a sitout Pedigree but walks into a slingshot shoulder from Awesome. A nice hurricanrana out of the corner has Mike in trouble but he takes Kid’s head off with a clothesline. The Awesome Bomb plants Kash and a super Awesome Bomb through a table gives Mike the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here though the high sports were good. This match didn’t need to happen for the most part and felt more like filler than anything else. Awesome is already wrestling later, so why do we need to see this happen here? Kash would become a bigger deal in the upcoming months.

From a few months later at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

C.W. Anderson vs. Kid Kash

Kash quickly sends Anderson to the floor and hits a big dive to take him down before the bell. Anderson nails a big left hand right after we get going but walks into a dropkick to put him on the floor. Kash dives off the apron to take Wiles down with a hurricanrana. Back in and Kash tries a hurricarana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen one of those. C.W. hammers away in the corner and knocks Kash to the floor, only to have Wiles drop Kid across the barricade.

Back in and Kash climbs the corner for a cross body and two, only to walk into a big clothesline. A reverse suplex gets two for Anderson and a powerslam gets the same. Kash avoids a charge in the corner but has to deal with Wiles. Lou E. misses a phone shot and hits Billy, only to have C.W. nail Kash with a superkick for another two. Anderson goes up but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a decent enough power vs. speed match but the interference got annoying fast. Wiles and Dangerously become more and more useless every time they appear but Anderson seems to have something special to him. He could use someone to talk for him but Lou isn’t quite up to that level either.

We’ll stay in the same year and look at a tag match at Heat Wave 2000.

Simon Diamond/Swinger/C.W. Anderon vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring/Kid Kash

Diamond has dropped most of his entourage and is part of a tag team with Swinger (a muscular guy with long hair and that’s about the extent of things that differentiates him from others). Anderson is on his own now as well and recently broke Kash’s four month undefeated streak. The other four guys are decent teams but the Tag Team Titles remain vacant.

Simon and Kash get things going with a technical sequence and the fans already declare it boring. Kash nails a hard chop in the corner before they kick each other away to give us a standoff. Anderson comes in but is quickly taken down and nailed with a middle rope elbow drop. Doring and Roadkill crush Swinger and Diamond in the corner before clearing the ring. Kash nails a slingshot hurricanrana over the top to the floor to take Anderson down.

Back in and Kash hits a springboard clothesline to Anderson before another hurricanrana sends Simon back to the floor. The numbers finally catch up to Kash and Swinger takes over. Anderson comes in but charges into an elbow in the corner, followed by a moonsault press to put him down. It’s off to Doring vs. Swinger with Danny cleaning house with jawbreakers.

Simon comes back with a cobra clutch legsweep to drop Doring before Diamond plants him for two. Anderson blasts him in the jaw with the left hand but Doring slams him face first into the mat. The fans are going NUTS for Roadkill here and they get exactly what they want. Roadkill comes in and cleans house, sending all three villains to the floor for a big dive from Doring.

Kash hits an even bigger one but Roadkill tops them all by taking out all five guys. Back in and Roadkill gets crotched on the top, allowing Simon and Swinger to double team Doring with a backbreaker/reverse DDT combination. The Anderson spinebuster plants Kash for two but Roadkill breaks it up with a legdrop to the back of the head. Kash breaks up the Problem Solver (double team elevated DDT) to Doring, who nails the double arm DDT on Diamond. The Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gives Kash the pin over Swinger.

Rating: B-. Nice six man tag here but the booking is a little confusing. If Simon and Swinger is supposed to be the new big team, why would you have them lose here? It’s a shame that the tag team division is starting to pick up some steam, just as there are no belts for anyone to win.

Kash was a big enough deal that he would get a TV Title shot on ECW on TNN, September 8, 2000.

TV Title: Kid Kash vs. Rhino

This is the result of a HUGE brawl (as in like 30 people) that opened the show until Kash ran out for the match. The ring finally clears out so the match can start, only to have Sandman’s music hit. Rhino is stomping Kash down in the corner until Sandman FINALLY gets to the ring to cane Rhino over and over.

Not that it matters as a Gore puts him down a few seconds later. The roster is still at ringside so Kash hits a dive and puts down about 20 people at once. Back in and Kash hits a double springboard hurricanrana for almost no effect, setting up a Gore from Rhino. Cue RVD for a Van Daminator as we finally get a referee. There’s a Van Terminator and a Five Star as Kash adds a guillotine legdrop for the pin and the title. I’m not rating this insanity as it wasn’t a match in any sense of the word.

The title reign only lasted two weeks so we’ll go with more ECW at Massacre on 34th Street.

Unholy Alliance vs. Super Crazy/???

Crazy is bringing in a mystery partner after Mikey lured him into a beatdown recently. The Alliance beats Crazy down before Crazy’s partner comes out. Kid Kash shows up about thirty seconds later and we’re ready to go. Kash rolls up Mikey for two to start before taking him over with a hurricanrana. They stop to look at each other before slowly tagging in their partners. Tajiri hits a dropkick but Crazy nips up, only to hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker with Tajiri nipping up.

The fans are entirely behind Tajiri here as they fight over a test of strength and trade monkey flips. It’s Tajiri taking over with a hurricanrana before they trade armdrags for another standoff. Tajiri kicks at the legs and puts on a Sharpshooter with Crazy’s throat across the ropes so Mikey can drop a leg across the back of Crazy’s head. They do the chair crush around Crazy’s head for the dropkicks.

Kash finally tries to help and is tied in a Tree of Woe. Crazy is tied up as well but both members of the Alliance crotch themselves on baseball slide attempts. Kash and Crazy hit huge dives to the floor before Kash hits something like a Whisper in the Wind to put both Alliance members down. Tajiri and Crazy brawl on the floor until Tajiri comes back inside for a double rolling flip to put Kash down. The Alliance hit stereo kicks to Kash’s face before putting two chairs in the middle of the ring. Thankfully Kash is able to fight out of a slam through the chairs but he can’t avoid a Whippersnapper through the chairs and Kid is in trouble.

Another Whippersnapper puts Kash through the table and Crazy hits the triple moonsaults on Tajiri for no cover. Tajiri and Crazy head to the floor but Tajiri pops back up onto the ropes, only to be slammed face first onto the mat. A chair to the head gets Tajiri out of a sunset flip and he puts Crazy in the Tarantula. Kash finally comes back in but gets kicked to the floor as Mikey loads up another table.

Tajiri takes his sweet time setting it up in the ring so Mikey sets up his own on the floor. Kash gets up and hurricanranas Whipwreck through the table in a huge crash. Back in and Tajiri kicks Crazy down before covering him with a pile of chairs and a table. Tajiri climbs the ropes and a top rope double stomp through the table onto the chairs onto Crazy is enough for the pin.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here but again it doesn’t really mean much of anything. The Alliance winning a match is a good thing, but this needed to be about five minutes shorter. Kash disappeared for WAY too long during the match and it basically made this Tajiri vs. Crazy. That’s not a bad thing but it’s something we’ve seen several times before.

After ECW went under, Kash was one of many wrestlers that went to the XWF. Here he is in a battle royal for their Cruiserweight Title on November 13, 2001.

Cruiserweight Title: Battle Royal

Psychosis, Billy Fives, AJ Styles, Juventud Guerrera, Tongan Prince, Quick Kick, Kid Kash, Christopher Daniels

No one gets an entrance and you can be eliminated by pinfall, submission or over the top. Tongan Prince is Prince Iaukea and Quick Kick is Low Ki (they might as well have just called him that all the time. It makes more sense). Daniels has short blonde hair here. It’s a big brawl to start with everyone going after everyone and Tony having no idea who half of these guys are. Styles dumps Billy Fives as Josh Matthews (yes THAT Josh Matthews) is sitting in the crowd. Psychosis is dumped and AJ is LAUNCHED over the top onto Psychosis and Fives.

Low Ki hits some loud kicks to Kash’s head as Daniels kicks Iaukea down in the corner. They trade off with Kash and Low Ki going up top, only to miss stereo dives and collide (kind of) in midair. Daniels and Iaukea try to get in cheap shots but clothesline each other down. Low Ki misses a charge and eliminates himself before Kash (Krash according to Tony) hurricanranas Iaukea out. Kash’s tornado DDT mostly doesn’t connect but it staggers Daniels enough that Kash can hit a springboard kick to eliminate him for the title.

Rating: D. If you ever want an example of a spot fest, this is where you would look. Nothing more to say than that.

Off to TNA at Weekly PPV #11 on August 28, 2002.

Amazing Red vs. Kid Kash

This is back when Kash could still be called Kid and it didn’t sound stupid. Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get an advantage going. Kash shoves him and gets slapped in the face as a result. Red takes him to the mat via a drop toehold and things speed up. They go into a sequence that belongs in a gymnastics class rather than a wrestling ring, finally coming back to wrestling with some armdrags.

Kash flips Red off so Red pounds and kicks away at him before sending Kash to the floor. There’s a BIG flip dive to take Kid out and they brawl a bit. Kash sends him into the barricade to take over and we head back inside where a flying clothesline takes Red down for two. Red gets put in something like a Liontamer which doesn’t go anywhere, so they head to the corner where Kash eats a boot. Well not literally but you get the idea.

Red goes up for I think a rana but has to come down because Kash is WAY out of position. A standing rana and a spinwheel kick get two instead and Kash is placed on the top rope. This goes badly for the placer (Red) as Kash comes back with a clothesline off the middle rope for two. A powerbomb attempt by Kash is countered into a sunset bomb and Red kicks him down again for two.

Red gets slammed off the top for two for Kash, followed by Red firing off kicks to the chest in the corner. A charge misses and Red crotches himself, allowing Kash to hit a slingshot legdrop for two more. Kash cross bodies him for two before running into an elbow to slow him down. Red goes up but Kash shoves the referee into the ropes (not a DQ for some reason) and hits a kind of MuscleBuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m really not a fan of spotfests and I’m REALLY not a fan of matches where guys don’t sell almost anything. On top of that, they were missing a lot of spots in this or badly mistiming them. The crowd reacted to most of it, but the match just wasn’t that good and certainly wasn’t anything memorable. That’s most cruiserweight style matches though.

Kash would stay in the X-Division Title hunt through the end of the year and get a shot at Weekly PPV #27 on January 15, 2003.

X-Division Title: Sonny Siaki vs. Kid Kash

Kash has Trinity with him to counter Siaki’s chick named Desire. It’s a tag brawl to start until Kash and Trinity dropkick both villains to the floor. Some bad looking armdrags put Siaki on the floor but Kash’s dive only hits barricade. Kash comes back with a whip of his own into the barricade and gets two off a guillotine legdrop. Siaki nails a wicked pumphandle slam into a piledriver for two of his own but there’s no selling in the X-Division. Kash pops back up and hits a double springboard hurricanrana but Desire breaks up a cover. Desire trips Kash up again and gets caught in a wicked neckbreaker to keep the title on Siaki.

Rating: C-. The dives weren’t bad and I’ve always liked Siaki so the match wasn’t all that bad. You couple that with the very good looking Trinity and this was far more entertaining than I was expecting. I’m getting a chuckle out of people casually standing up after the double springboard hurricanrana as it’s just a flippy move that shouldn’t be sold.

We’ll move ahead to Weekly PPV #107 on August 18, 2004 for one of Kash’s biggest feuds in TNA.

AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash

From August 18, 2004 and this is a street fight. Kash smacks AJ in the face to start but gets thrown to the floor, setting up a big flip dive from Styles. AJ sends him into the barricade and kicks at the ribs before heading inside so Kash can beg for mercy. The breather lets Kash score with a jawbreaker and the fight heads back to the floor. Some chair shots put AJ down and Kid talks trash.

AJ slides under the guardrail and launches himself at Kash before throwing him into the crowd. A chair shot to the back sets up a backbreaker on the bleachers but Kash comes back with something resembling a DDT to get a breather. They head over to an opening next to the bleachers where a table just happens to be waiting. Kash goes into the scaffolding but AJ follows him as the camera has troubles keeping up.

They slug each other back and forth in front of a group of fans before Kash tries to throw AJ over the scaffolding. AJ hangs on but Kash follows him down before both guys fall about eight feet through the table onto the concrete. After some laying around they get back up for a trashcan shot to AJ’s back.

AJ headbutts Kash through the crowd and throws him into a wall. Back to the ring now where Kash escapes the Styles Clash and gets two off a standing hurricanrana. AJ comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex for two but his neckbreaker is countered into a suplex to give Kash his own near fall. Kash’s goon Dallas shows up to interfere but accidentally sends Kash into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: B-. This felt like a better version of an ECW brawl but it doesn’t make the match great. Kash is a guy that has never done anything for me other than the time he threatened to stab various people. The idea was to show physicality in the X-Division which worked, but it kind of takes away the aspect that made the division special.

We’re into PPV now with Against All Odds 2005.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Kid Kash/Lance Hoyt

Storm and Kash start things off. They trade hammerlocks to start and fast twos and we get a standoff. Off to Hoyt and Harris who immediately start brawling. Everything breaks down and AMW picks up Kash and throws him at Hoyt. That doesn’t work so in a funny bit they pick up Hoyt and throw him at Kash to send him to the floor. Cute spot. Back in Hoyt slams Kash onto Storm for two.

Hoyt comes in and hits a huge chokebomb for two on Storm. James is playing Ricky Morton here if that wasn’t clear. Off to Kash who launches a frog splash but it eats knees. Both he and Storm try cross bodies and they’re down. Harris comes in and destroys Hoyt. It’s so strange to see Harris in great shape. Kash hits a sweet rana after running the corner. Storm is back up and hits the Eye of the Storm on Kash. He tries a reverse tornado DDT out of the corner on Hoyt but Lance counters.

In a move I’ve never seen before, Hoyt hits a side slam off the top for two. That looked awesome actually. That’s a great lesson: when all else fails, make the move from the top and it looks better. Storm takes Hoyt down and Harris hits a top rope elbow for two. Kash brings in a title belt but as the referee takes it out, Kash hits Harris with the other belt for two. Now Kash brings in handcuffs but Harris cuffs him up. Death Sentence to Hoyt keeps the titles on AMW.

Rating: C+. This started slow but got better at the end. When you take guys like Hoyt and Kash and get an entertaining match out of them, that’s a sign of a good team. Then again AMW is probably the best team ever in TNA, and yes I’m including them over Beer Money. This was better than I expected.

It was off to WWE after this, including this debut match on Heat, June 13, 2005.

Tajiri vs. Kid Kash

Kash grabs a headlock to start but gets spun around on the math in a freaky looking rollup. The Kid jumps over him in the corner and gets two off a slam. We hit a bow and arrow hold on Tajiri followed by an abdominal stretch, only to have Tajiri fight out with some elbows to the head. Kash comes back with a moonsault press for two and a suplex slam gets the same. Tajiri kicks him out of the air and fires off some chops followed by a big kick to the back. There’s the handspring elbow for two and Kash charges into the Tarantula. The Buzzsaw Kick misses but Kash misses a frog splash, setting up the Buzzsaw to give Tajiri the pin.

Rating: C-. Tajiri is another guy that I like a lot so the match was fun to sit through. Those kicks were freaking awesome every single time and the sounds they made were even better. Kash would get to stick around in WWE for awhile but he wouldn’t do all that much. Tajiri’s best days are behind him at this point but those kicks still work well enough.

Kash would get a Cruiserweight Title shot at Armageddon 2005.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Kid Kash

Just Juventud now and he’s champion coming in here. Yes, they’re really just going on like nothing happened at all. Another pointless Cruiserweight match here with no real story. By no real one I mean Kash probably pinned him recently or something like that. All Juvy to start and he gets a standing rana for two. Fujiwara armbar goes on for a bit so Kash hits the floor. Juvy hits a plancha to keep up his advantage.

Kash manages to ram his shoulder into the post a few times to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two. Kash hammers away for a bit but misses a charge into the corner. Juvy can’t capitalize though and Kash keeps the advantage. Shoulderbreaker gets two. A springboard moonsault by Kash eats knees and here comes Juvy.

The champ chops away and uses really basic offense. Sunset flip doesn’t work for Kash and Juvy kicks him in the face for two. Loud END THIS MATCH chant starts up. You can tell that’s not a good sign. They go up to the top rope and Juvy hits a super rana but might have hurt his knee. Kash wants time out but gets caught by an enziguri for two. They trade some escapes and Juvy hits the Juvy Driver for two. 450 misses though and the Dead Level (brainbuster) gives Kash the title.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly bad, but dude no one cared at all. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a crowd beg for a match to end like that. This is what you get when you have no story to speak of and use guys that are just there instead of having characters or stories or anything like that. Just not interesting at all, but it was fine from a technical standpoint.

After losing the title at the Royal Rumble, Kash had another chance at the belt at No Way Out 2006.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Funaki vs. Kid Kash vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London vs. Psicosis vs. Scotty Hotty vs. Super Crazy

Yeah it’s a 9 way match. Helms is champion and ran his mouth so this is his punishment. The intros take nearly five minutes. Thankfully some guys come out together. No tagging here and it’s one fall to a finish. Who wants to bet that Helms escapes with the title? He won it last month so yeah I’m thinking he’s keeping it. Helms hides on the floor while the other eight guys pound on each other.

The Mexicools hits stereo planchas to take out London and Kendrick. Helms finally gets in and they all jump him as he more or less said he was better than all of them. Obviously I can’t go through every spot and type it up here as it’s a huge mess the whole way through. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s just wasting time until we get to the ending sequence.

Helms and Kash go at it for a bit which gets us nowhere. Helms is sent to the floor as this continues to be six or seven guys lay down while two or three do stuff. Kash gets a sweet rana to take down Psicosis on the floor. Londrick takes out Nunzio and Funaki and then do it again off the top to those same two plus Scotty. Helms misses the Shining Wizard and Crazy gets a big spin kick for two.

London hits Helms with a senton back splash that crushes Helms’ face. London gets kicked in the face by Scotty who then has to do the Worm on Helms. The long wait allows Psicosis to break it up. That should teach Scotty but it won’t of course because he’s a stupid man. Dead Level (brainbuster, but looks like a suplex here) from Kash hits Psicosis but Crazy hits a moonsault out of nowhere. Helms steals the pin to retain. Wow how shocked I am at that.

Rating: C-. Total meh match here. These multi-man matches are supposed to be insane and all that jazz and for the most part they are, but dude, NINE PEOPLE? There’s no way to follow is and it’s the living definition of a match with no flow because you can’t have any. It was ok, but WAY too many people out there which brought it down a lot.

Kash would hook up with Jamie Knoble in a tag team, earning a Smackdown Tag Team Title shot at Great American Bash 2006.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Pit Bulls

The Bulls are Jamie Noble and Kid Kash. They were a team that was around when I really wasn’t watching Smackdown so this is a new thing for me. London and Kash start us off with Kash taking it to the mat. For some reason we’re talking about the Rock N Roll Express now. Kash keeps running him over so London speeds things up to take over. Off to Kendrick and they use a modified rocket launcher for two.

Kendrick works on the arm and we hear about the Crockett family starting up the Bash in the 80s. Off to Noble who apparently likes having men on the ground. I love wrestling but the gay jokes are really hard to avoid at times. Back to London who keeps Noble’s arm in trouble. This has been one sided so far and Londrick sends them to the floor. You know that means stereo dives.

FINALLY Noble gets in a shot to take over and gets a pair of two counts. Back to Kash who slams Kendrick into the mat by his hair. Kendrick dodges a charge and brings in London. Things speed way up and we talk about Ivan Putski. They go to the apron and London tries to skin the cat, but Noble gets in a shot to the back. I guess this is the official face in peril part.

London may have hurt his back on the way down onto the apron. Noble hooks on a chinlock for a few seconds and there’s a leg lariat for two. The Pit Bulls do some good old fashioned heel tag team work to keep Kendrick out. More double teaming follows but London fights out of the corner. He kicks Noble into Kash but Kash makes the save to break up the tag. Cole says London was minutes away from making the tag. Well at least he was close.

London backflips out of a suplex and falls into Kendrick for the tag. Springboard missile dropkick takes out Kash and things speed WAY up. He hits leg lariats to everyone but Noble makes the save on the cover. Noble tries something like a double underhook piledriver on Kendrick but London saves again. There’s a huge dive to the floor by Kendrick to take out Noble. Kash can’t get the brainbuster to London so Kendrick dives off the top with a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: B-. This match right here has already had more energy in it than the entirety of the previous two shows in this series. Londrick would spend the next 9 months or so as champions which is still the longest tag title reign in the WWE/F in about fifteen years. Very fun tag match with all kinds of old school heel tag work to make things very fun and get the crowd into it.

Kash would leave soon after this and hit the indies. We’ll pick things up at Hardcore Justice 2010, the ECW reunion show put on by TNA.

FBI vs. Kid Kash/Simon Diamond/Swinger

It’s Tony, Tracy and Guido. Yeah because Kash was SO important to ECW. Sal is somehow even fatter if that’s possible. Smothers looks AWFUL. It’s Tony Luke now instead of Mamaluke. Guido looks about the same. The lights are all dark and there’s this weird blue tint to it. Guido and Kash start us off. They point out that they can’t say certain names or letters. WOW.

Simon is HUGE and even Tazz suggests different attire. He stops halfway through the match and cuts a promo to which he gets a LOUD Shut the F Up chant. He challenges them to a dance off. It’s somehow worse than it sounds. The non-FBI team breaks it up but Sal crushes them. Kash does a big dive to do something. Keep in mind we’re 20 minutes into this.

We get to a normal match now and it’s not bad. Seriously, we would have had to pay 45 dollars for this. Mamaluke is getting destroyed here and Diamond does something close to Three Amigos. Guido hits the Kiss of Death (Killswitch) to end it.

Rating: D. Once this got going it wasn’t bad but ten minutes of crap to get to the good stuff isn’t how this is supposed to go. This didn’t work at all for me though as three of these guys meant next to nothing at all in the original ECW. This was watchable I guess but the lighting and the other stuff just isn’t doing it so far.

Jesse Sorensen vs. Kid Kash

This is #2 vs. #3 (X-Division rankings) respectively but I doubt those numbers are going to mean much for awhile. Kash looks old and Sorensen is a face, carrying a football with him because he’s from Texas. Well I guess a weak gimmick is better than no gimmick. Kash dominates early, hitting a suplex into a release slam.

Moneymaker is blocked and Sorensen starts his comeback with a HHH leaping knee and a pretty sweet dropkick for two. Something resembling the McGillicutter gets two and Jesse goes up. Top rope cross body gets a very close two and I’m liking this Sorensen a bit. And never mind as Kash reverses a rollup and uses the tights for the pin at 3:01.

Rating: C. I liked Sorensen a lot more than I thought I would. The guy can jump pretty well and was trying to play to the crowd a bit also. The football thing doesn’t mean much but it needs time to develop obviously. Kash I don’t see the appeal to as he just looks old. He’s not bad or anything but he’s about as the same as you can be after many years.

Another X-Division Title shot, from Genesis 2012.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen

I didn’t know this but it’s elimination rules. The fans seem to like Jesse the most. Aries chills on the floor to start and Sorensen cleans house. A northern lights gets two on Ion and Aries comes in. This is one of those matches where there’s no point in trying to keep track of everything that’s going on. Kash and Aries are sent to the floor and after Ion is put up top it’s the Tower of Doom! That hasn’t been used in awhile.

Aries goes up top but Ion shoves him down to the floor onto Kash. Ion hits a big corkscrew plancha to the floor to take the two of them out. Sorensen of course follows in the customary series of dives. Still gets a great reaction from the crowd too. Jesse gets two on Aries back inside. Ion gets sent into the corner so Kash tries a superplex, but Aries is whipped into the corner to send Kash crashing. Ion stands up and hits the 450 on Kash to put him out first.

Aries busts out the 450 on Sorensen for just two. The fans are WAY behind Jesse here. Top rope cross body gets two on Aries. A suplex into a cutter kind of move gets the same as Ion breaks up the pin because he’s an idiot. Ion goes after Jesse but walks into a small package for the second elimination to get us down to one on one. Aries rolls up Sorensen but Ion has the referee.

Brainbuster is countered into the Game Changer (Test Drive into a DDT) but Ion’s distraction keeps it at just two. Aries breaks up something off the top but runs into a boot in the corner. Ion is ducked out of sight on the floor. Sorensen goes up but Ion crotches him, letting Aries dropkick him and a middle rope brainbuster keeps the title on Aries 10:59.

Rating: C+. I was really liking this until the ending. Sorensen has been built up for awhile now and the fans are clearly behind him, but they need to pull the trigger on him if they’re going to. Restocking the division is a good idea, but if all the guys keep losing it’s not really going to do them any good. The match was fun though and a high flying match to open the show is a tried and true idea.

How about another title shot, from Impact on November 15, 2012.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kid Kash

Van Dam is defending of course. Kash jumps him as he comes into the ring and they start fast. This would have been way better in ECW but it’s over eleven years since that company closed and Kash is still a Kid somehow. They ram into each other a few times before Kash ranas RVD to the floor. Tenay says Kash is also an MMA fighter which would be hilarious to see. Kash dives onto the floor onto Van Dam which doesn’t look bad.

Back in and Kash hits a clothesline out of the corner but misses a moonsault. Rob kicks him down and hits Rolling thunder for two as Tenay talks about Rob being a three time world champion, talking about the ECW Title, the WWE Title and the TNA world title. You know, because that ECW Title was the same as the WWE Title and all that jazz. Monkey Flip sets up the Five Star to retain at 4:08.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than a quick title defense for Van Dam. To say this division is worthless at the moment is an understatement as other than Van Dam, Kash and Ryan I guess, is there anyone else around? Ion I guess, but dang that’s not much as far as depth goes. Just a match here really.

Kash would hit the One Night Only circuit, starting at X-Travaganza.

Rashad Cameron/Anthony Nese vs. Kid Kash/Douglas Williams

Williams and Cameron start things off with Doug looking older than usual. Doug takes him down by the leg and puts on a kind of reverse Boston Crab where Kash can kick Cameron in the face. Cameron and Williams run the ropes a bit until Rashad dropkicks Doug down. Off to Kash as this could be a trainwreck in a hurry. Thankfully Nese comes in quickly and things speed WAY up as they trade controlling holds on the mat. We get some sweet chain wrestling until Kash takes over with knees and chops.

Nese comes out of the corner with a spinning cross body for two and a clothesline to send Kash to the floor. Anthony loads up a dive, only to be taken down by Williams. Doug heads to the floor with Kash and there’s a big dive by Cameron, followed by an even better one by Nese. Back in and Nese jumps into a forearm from Kash as Taz is talking about investment banking and area codes.

Williams knocks Cameron off the apron as the old guys take over on Nese. Kash comes in for some solid stomping before it’s back to Williams. The old guys do some old school double teaming on Cameron who has no idea how to deal with it. Kash and Earl Hebner get into it a bit in the corner before Kash hits a hard chop on Cameron. Back to Williams for a kick to the back and a nice snap suplex for no cover.

Kash comes in to work on the knee in a vain attempt to add some psychology here. Some hard kicks by Kash to the chest keep Cameron down as Taz starts talking about Aces and 8’s. Well we made it through forty minutes so it was bound to happen soon. Kash breaks up a quick comeback with a forearm but his moonsault hits knees. Hot (I think?) tag brings in Nese as things speed up again.

Back to Williams who misses a clothesline and gets kicked down by Nese. A nice pumphandle powerbomb gets two for Anthony as everything breaks down. Nese hits a running knee to Williams’ head for two as Rashad dives on Kash on the floor. A quick rollup gets two for Anthony but he gets caught in the Rolling Chaos Theory for the pin by Williams.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work for me. I’m not a fan of most of the guys in this match and the ending was just kind of there. That’s one of the major problems with this show: there aren’t going to be any in depth stories and barely any stories at all. That’s fine if the matches are really good, but this was only decent at best.

Again at Joker’s Wild I.

Jesse Godderz/Mr. Anderson vs. Douglas Williams/Kid Kash

No Tara unfortunately. Anderson comes out like normal to his own music and without the biker gear. Kash and Anderson start things off but Jesse tags in before anything can happen. A quick shoulder sends Godderz into the corner and it’s off to Anderson who might not suck as much. Anderson hits a quick dropkick to put Kash down and it’s back to Jesse for some arm work. He asks for a tag and Anderson isn’t sure if he wants back in or not. The announcers would rather talk about Aces and 8’s rankings and British terminology instead of calling the match.

Williams comes in and gets caught by a hiptoss and backdrop from Anderson. Jesse is jumping up and down to get in the match so it’s off to the rookie for some arm work. He cranks it once and already wants Anderson back in. Since Anderson is getting annoyed he takes more time, allowing Williams to suplex Godderz down. Off to Kash for a release belly to back of his own as the announcers continue to talk about stupid things like the “Pre-Tazz Era” of TNA.

Williams puts a cravate on Jesse for a bit, only to be taken down by a nice leg trip. Godderz still can’t make a tag though as Williams comes in with a clothesline to put him back down for two. Off to Kash again who helps out Williams with a double backdrop as Jesse continues to be picked apart. Back to Williams for a few slams as this gets more and more boring every few seconds. Kash kicks Jesse low and rakes his back a few times as we talk about roulette to keep up the announcers’ trend.

Off to a chinlock by Williams as we talk about gumption, moxie and tomatoes. I know I’m talking about the announcers a lot but it’s by far the most interesting thing in the match so far. Tazz actually says that Aces and 8’s don’t do losses. Jesse sends Kash into the corner but gets kicked in the face and caught with a moonsault out of the corner for two. Godderz is stomped around even more as Tazz talks about getting a furry sidecar on Bully’s bike. The commentary must have been recorded later as Bully wasn’t revealed as part of Aces and 8’s when this was taped.

A clothesline out of the corner takes Williams down and it’s FINALLY off to Anderson to clean house. Anderson hits his rolling fireman’s carry on Williams and loads it up on Kash, only to have Jesse pull Kash down to load up his own finishing move. Anderson kicks Kash down and Mic Checks Godderz before rolling up Kash for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember what I said about the wrestling being the main thing to go off on this show? In this case it was hindered by Jesse, who is WAY too green to be in there as long as he was. There was a story being told here, but the match was so dull throughout that it didn’t make much of a difference. Anderson looked like a star though.

Kash was a guy that was good for flips and not much more. That being said, he’s been around for a long time (and somehow is still a Kid) and can still work a decent enough match. He was better at flying all over the place and doing BIG flips in ECW than anything else and sometimes that’s all you need a guy to do. The fan reactions validated his existence if nothing else.

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