I’m watching a One Night Only show and the announcers are actually making it sound like the lower level guys have a chance against the bigger names. THis is something that gets on my nerves about WWE. If you have say Damien Sandow against John Cena, the announcers will spend half the match basically laughing at Sandow and saying he has almost no chance at winning. Today, ROH is great at making you believe anyone can beat anyone on any given night.

This is something Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing right. No matter who was in the ring, he would make you believe that either guy could win. He’d play up the successes that the lower guy had been having lately and talk about how they have that one big move that would end a match against any opponent. Today’s wrestling sees so many finishers being made to look worthless that there’s no reason to believe they’re going to end a match.

Back in the day when I played No Mercy on a daily basis, (and I’m assuming it’s the same with these newfangled games) the strategy would be to get to Special Mode as soon as possible and hit your finisher three times in a row. It wouldn’t end the match, but it would soften your opponent up enough to give you a big advantage. The thing is, wrestling doesn’t work that way outside of a game. Just hitting the same finisher over and over again doesn’t make something look interesting. It should finish a match, and back in the day it would. Between that and the commentators treating big names like jobbers half the time, you can guess almost any match result anymore.

There are some names that are going to work no matter what because they just sound cool or strong or intimidating. The name John Cena for example works this way. No it doesn’t describe him or give you a mental picture, but it’s a solid name that doesn’t make you laugh or write him off because you see him. The same is true for someone like Randy Orton. Not great, but it’s not bad enough that it makes you roll your eyes. Adding The Viper to it helps a lot.

Then there are names like Edge or Batista or Undertaker. THose names are enough to catch someone’s attention or make them think that someone is cool just because of their name. Imagine if Undertaker had this entrance:

Coming down the aisle, from Death Valley. Weighing in at 327 pounds…….DARREN YOUNG! It just doesn’t work well at all, because Darren Young sounds like a name you would see on an accountant’s office at tax time. The name Darren Young doesn’t make me think of a wrestler or someone intimidating. It makes me think of an average guy, which isn’t what I watch wrestling to see.

A name needs to be interesting instead of something generic. It can make a huge difference in a career.

We’re jumping across the pond today with the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith.

Fit Finlay vs. Young David

Finlay is Irish Middleweight Champion. As is traditional with British wrestling, this is under a round system (eight five minute rounds here) and it’s 2/3 falls. The ring is fall smaller than most that you would see in America. David cranks on the arm to start and gets a quick one off a sunset flip. They hit the mat for some arm work until Finlay grabs a wristlock. David spins around and grabs one of his own as we’re firmly in technical mode here.

Finlay comes back with a leg lock as the well dressed crowd looks on intently. David grabs a wristlock but Finlay bridges out and snapmares David down. Off to an arm lock by Finlay as this is being treated as something serious. It’s very interesting to see something as different as we’re getting here. Finlay goes back to the wristlock and even a David slam can’t break the grip. A snapmare puts Finlay down and the first round ends.

The match is clipped to the start of round four (every version I can find of this has the clip) and they stare each other down. Finlay takes over with some elbows to the back of the head before bending David’s leg around Finlay’s neck. David escapes by KICKING HIM IN THE FACE but it’s right back to the hold. Finlay drops a leg on David’s leg and cranks on it even more until the Young one spins out to escape.

Not that it matters as Fit grabs the leg again and we can hear some fans shouting boring. David escapes again and, say it with me, it’s right back to the hold. The round ends and they actually shake hands while going back to their corners. No clipping here so it’s straight to round five. They put their heads together and try to ram the other for a few moments until Finlay grabs a front facelock.

A hard whip across the ring has David in more trouble and Finlay puts him over his shoulder for a backbreaker submission hold. David won’t give up because he’s a good blue eye (British term for face) but Finlay clubs him down and pins him for the first fall. Apparently the sixth round automatically begins after the previous fall.

Finlay cranks on the arm but David falls on top of him in a slam attempt for two. Now it’s David slamming Fit down as the fans get into it a little bit. A cross body out of nowhere is good for a pin on Finlay to tie things up. Due to the fall we automatically start round seven and it’s Finlay tripping David down to the mat. David reverses to a chinlock before hitting his powerslam (impressive as he’s TINY here) for one.

Finlay goes right back to the armbar before David kicks him in the chest to escape. They slug it out and a quick suplex gets two for David. Back to the leg hold by Fit but David reverses into a body scissors. Finlay pushes off the mat but can’t break the hold, even as he’s standing on his feet. He finally flips David down and grabs a standing arm hold, only to be backdropped down for two. Finlay does the same thing to him and the round ends with Finlay throwing David down.

Last round now and both guys are clearly tired. Finlay cranks on the arm again before they slug it out with forearms from their knees. David grabs a headlock and cranks on it so much that Finlay can’t slam him for the break. A piledriver, the high spot of the match, gets two on Finlay but he comes right back with a suplex for the pin and the match.

Rating: C+. This is an entirely different kind of match and I would understand why most fans today would find this boring. That being said, it’s actually entertaining when you get down to the style here. You had two guys working on each other’s bodies for thirty seven minutes until any big move was going to beat the other. Well other than the piledriver but you get the idea. It’s not my style of wrestling but it’s definitely worth checking out if you’re interested in something that is as pure as you’re going to find.

Smith would head to Japan in 1983 and chase the NWA Junior Heavyweight Title. Here he is challenging Cobra for the belt on November 11, 1983.

NWA Junior Heavyweight Title: Davey Boy Smith vs. The Cobra

Smith is actually in a mask here to start but takes it off before the bell. He throws Cobra to the floor to start and slams the champion down onto the concrete. A suplex brings Cobra back inside before Smith LAUNCHES him back of the top with a press slam. They head back inside for the big match intros, as apparently that was all before the bell. Smith throws him into the corner to start but Cobra does the same thing to Davey. I think Bulldog is the heel here but it’s not really clear.

A wristlock has Cobra in trouble again but Cobra does the Owen Hart flip out to escape. Smith does a modified version to take over again but Cobra grabs the wrist just a few seconds later. Cobra flips out of a monkey flip and dropkicks Smith down as we get clipped what seems to be WAY ahead to Cobra getting two off a backdrop. His knee is hurt but he’s still able to avoid a Smith backsplash and score the pin off a running headbutt. I won’t rate it due to the clipping but what we saw wasn’t bad.

I have to cover something from Stampede so here’s a tag match from the late 70s/early 80s.

Davey Boy Smith/David Schultz vs. Bad News Allen/Great Gama

Joined in progress (about ten minutes in according to commentary) as is the custom in Stampede with Gama kicking Smith down to the mat. Apparently Allen (Bad News Brown) won’t tag in and has made Gama wrestle the whole match so far. That goes nowhere as Allen comes in to hammer away and nail a big backdrop. A backbreaker gets two and it’s back to Gama for a knee to the ribs. Allen, looking much thinner here than he did in the WWF, nails a Russian legsweep for two.

We get the classic face makes the tag but the referee doesn’t see it spot. Smith misses a dropkick and is sent right back into the heel corner. He finally dives between Gama’s legs and makes the hot tag to David. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped. Allen hits Schultz with a foreign object and throws Smith to the floor, drawing in David’s friends for the no contest.

Rating: D+. The clipping didn’t help things here but it felt like your modern TV main event. That being said, it still wasn’t all that interesting as the hot tag sequence only went on for a few moments before Allen and Gama dominated again. The fans were trying to get into it but they never had the chance to get going.

Smith and his partner the Dynamite Kid would head to the WWF in 1985. Here’s a match of theirs from Wrestlemania Sunday on the syndicated All-American Wrestling from March 31, 1985.

British Bulldogs vs. Barry O/Rene Goulet

The announcer messes up Barry’s name by calling him Bobby. Dynamite and Barry start us off and Dynamite uses the speed to escape whatever is thrown at him. Off to Davey and this must be near their debut. Jesse says he’s never seen the Bulldogs before so you know it’s early in their run. Back to Davey who hooks a crucifix for two. Off to Goulet and both guys get missile dropkicks from Dynamite. Goulet hits a clothesline to bring in Barry. Davey cleans house and the Bulldogs use their stepping stone headbutt spot to pin Barry. BIG pop for the Bulldogs.

Rating: C+. Just a squash, but man the Bulldogs were great when they started out. They were pulling off stuff that had never been seen in America so everyone reacted to them very strongly. Dynamite was so far ahead of his time it’s unreal. Can you imagine him against Jericho or Mysterio in 1996? It would have been incredible.

The Bulldogs would win the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania II. Here’s a defense from MSG on July 12, 1986.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Moondogs

MSG again. Rex and Spot for you Moondog aficionados here. Davey vs. Spot to start us off. Off to Dynamite who runs him over with ease so it’s time for Rex (the original Smash in Demolition if you care). The Moondogs were uh…out there. Wristlock by the Kid but Rex overpowers him for a bit. Off to Davey now who gets caught in the wrong corner and it’s off to Spot.

Slam gets two for Davey but some double teaming shifts momentum again. Rex gets a splash for two and the same off a neckbreaker. Gorilla and Hayes wonder why Smith isn’t tagging, thinking Dynamite could be hurt. Could it be THE FREAKING MOONDOGS KICKING HIS FREAKING HEAD IN? Dynamite isn’t paying attention so Spot drills him, cracking the commentators up for no apparent reason.

Rex keeps a front facelock on and we get the tag that the referee doesn’t see. I love that bit. Spot comes in (sans tag which is the icing on the cake of that spot) and the Moondogs are dominating. Rex goes up but lands on knees. Both guys go for tags but only Spot comes in. Davey gets a cross body for two and that ends this offensive streak for him. He reverses a suplex and there’s the tag finally.

Gorilla and Al are surprised that Dynamite is fine. Gee who would have guessed that a guy in a match was perfectly fine? Fist drop from the middle rope gets two and it all breaks down. Dynamite and Spot are legal here. A top rope cross body by the Kid gets the pin to retain in a quick finish.

Rating: C+. Basic formula match here with a surprisingly decent match out of the Moondogs who were only good once in awhile. Not a bad little match and for a house show tag title defense this was just fine. It’s amazing how deep the division was at this point as we have heel jobber tag teams. Think about that in modern wrestling.

The Bulldogs beat the Dream Team for the belts at Wrestlemania II but since I posted that match yesterday, here’s a rematch from SNME VII.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

To the shock of no one this is 2/3 falls. We start with Dynamite and Valentine. Oh yeah it’s Valentine and Beefcake making up the Dream Team. Somehow this is a higher profile match for Beefcake than the main event of Starrcade 94. The Bulldogs are hard to tell apart but Davey is bigger if nothing else.

Not by much though. You can definitely see Dynamite in Benoit. Valentine can’t decide if he wants to work on the arm or the knee. Your finishing move is the figure four. Use your blonde head buddy. Dynamite gives up in the figure four, making it two straight matches on SNME where the Bulldogs have tapped out.

We cut to the locker room where Gene says that Adonis might have a separated shoulder and we go to a replay showing how it likely happened.

After a commercial we have fall 2. This is more or less heel dominance even though they have as much of a chance of winning here as X and I do. Davey gets the hot tag and dominates. I love that vertical suplex. The powerslam puts Valentine down and then Brutus comes in for the save.

He gets caught in a fireman’s carry and after a tag, Dynamite jumps on top of his back and hits a super diving headbutt for the pin to tie us up. After a commercial we have Dynamite and Valentine. Dynamite’s knee was hurt for the better part of a year as steroid abuse just went crazy. Adonis has a shattered elbow apparently. The heels are completely dominating here until we get a brawl as Davey makes the save after a high knee. With Dynamite on Valentine, Davey gets a fisherman’s suplex for the pin.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here with the psychology of the knee working through the entire match and the great balance here. It was another win for the champions which is never bad. This worked pretty well though and it was four good workers so there we are. The Dream Team wouldn’t mean much from this point forward.

The Bulldogs lost the belts to the Hart Foundation due to cheating referee Danny Davis. The screwjob sent the Bulldogs looking for revenge, including at Wrestlemania III.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Davis is a crooked referee that cost both the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Apparently this is Davis’ debut as a wrestler. Mary Hart (no relation) is on commentary along with Uecker here as well. Tito beats up Danny before the match before we get going with Bret and Santana. Jesse steals the Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda as he leaves. Off to Davey vs. Anvil and Smith pulls him by the beard. That’s a bit rough even for Neidhart.

Tito comes back in to work on the arm but gets sent to the heel corner for some high quality choking. That goes nowhere so here’s Smith vs. Neidhart again. Jim takes him down with a suplex but Bret misses a middle rope elbow. Dynamite comes in for the chest to buckle bump from Bret but Hart comes back with some punches. Tito tries to break up some interference but only allows even more cheating by Neidhart.

Jim hooks a modified camel clutch on Dynamite before it’s back to Bret. I don’t think we’ve seen Davis in yet but before I can finish that sentence he’s in for a few stomps. That’s the extent of his offense as it’s already back to Bret for some actual skill. The sun is starting to go down so the arena looks dark now. Back to Danny for one kick before it’s time for the Hitman again.

The Harts slingshot Davis right onto Dynamite’s knees and it’s off to Santana for the beating on Davis that the fans have been waiting for. Tito destroys Danny and hits the forearm but Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four. Off to Smith who rams Davis’ head into Dynamite’s. A jumping tombstone (not yet named) kills Davis even more but Smith doesn’t want the cover. There’s the delayed vertical followed by the powerslam but everything breaks down. Davis pops up and hits Smith with the megaphone for the pin in the melee.

Rating: C-. As fun as the beating Davis took was, the ending is really stupid as he popped up like nothing and was able to knock out a power guy with a single shot? The guy was a referee a few months ago but he’s able to do that with one shot? Bad ending aside, this was fun stuff and the fans were WAY into it.

The Bulldogs would fall down the card soon after this but would still be in the first match ever at Summerslam 1988.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. British Bulldogs

These two teams could not stand each other behind the scenes, eventually reaching the point where the Bulldogs left the company as a result. Davey jumps Jacques to start and rams him into turnbuckle after turnbuckle to put him down. Smith throws Jacques over to Raymond for a tag in a nice display of bravado. Off to Dynamite for a quick headbutt and a slam to keep Raymond in trouble.

Off to an armbar by Dynamite Kid before Davey comes back in for one of his own. Dynamite comes back in with a wicked clothesline to take Raymond’s head off. Chris Benoit idolized Dynamite and you can see so many of Benoit’s moves when you watch Dynamite’s matches. Davey comes in and trades some snappy rollups before it’s back to Dynamite to continue cranking on the arm.

Davey comes in again but Jacques trips him up to shift control to the Canadians. It’s off to some leg work now as Jacques kicks away at Davey’s hamstring. The Rougeaus start tagging in and out with Ray coming in to drop some knees on the hamstring before Jacques comes back in to pull on the leg. Ray comes back in sans tag to pull on the leg before Jacques puts on a spinning toehold. Davey finally gets back up and monkey flips Ray down, allowing for the tag to Dynamite.

The Kid speeds things way up and sends Ray out to the floor, triggering a brawl between Davey and Raymond. Back inside and Davey hits the powerslam but Jacques breaks it up before a one count. Dynamite comes back in for the headbutt but Jacques drills him with a belly to back suplex for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Jacques followed by a camel clutch from both Rougeaus. Kid fights up and rams Ray into the buckle to escape but it’s right back to the abdominal stretch by Jacques.

Dynamite finally fights up again and headbutts Jacques down to bring in Davey. Jacques immediately grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick but gets caught in a gorilla press onto the top rope. Everything breaks down and Davey picks up Dynamite to launch him into a headbutt on Jacques, but the time limit expires before there can be a cover.

Rating: C+. This was a solid opener as the fans were staying hot throughout the extended rest holds. The parts with both teams brawling and getting to move around made for a much better match, but you can’t do that for twenty minutes when you’re going for the draw. Draws were much more commonplace back in the 80s so this was nothing that odd to see.

The aforementioned friction between the Rougeaus and the Bulldogs caused Smith and Dynamite to leave the company after Survivor Series 1988. Smith would return a few years later as a singles wrestler. One of his major feuds was with the Warlord, who he fought at Wrestlemania VII.

Davey Boy Smith vs. Warlord

This is about whether or not Davey can break the full nelson. We start with our standard power stuff as they ram into each other a few times, only to have Bulldog knock Warlord out to the floor. A crucifix doesn’t work for Bulldog so Warlord drops some elbows for no cover. We hit the bearhug but Bulldog punches out, only to get caught in a hot shot to keep him on the mat.

A BIG belly to belly (kind of) puts Bulldog down but again Warlord won’t cover. We hit the chinlock until Bulldog fights up and hits a dropkick to send Warlord into the corner. Punches in said corner can’t drop Warlord but a cross body is finally enough to get him off his feet. Warlord counters a piledriver but Bulldog counters the counter into a sunset flip for two. Bulldog misses a charge into the corner and Warlord hooks the full nelson. It looks like all hope is lost but the fingers aren’t locked. Bulldog finally flips out of it and hooks the powerslam out of nowhere for the win.

Rating: C+. This would be filed under the category of “shocking the world” as it was actually a pretty solid match. Bulldog would get a lot better all of a sudden while Warlord would fall further down the card than he already was. This was way better than I was expecting and it turned into a pretty decent power match.

This brings us to the big one. Smith was named #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title and received his shot against his brother in law at Summerslam 1992. The match was in London at Wembley Stadium, making Bulldog the home country favorite. Here’s that masterpiece.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Bulldog has British Commonwealth boxing champion Lennox Lewis leading him to the ring and carrying the Union Jack. The place comes unglued for Davey but Bret isn’t booed at all, as his style is perfect for a crowd like this. Bulldog shoves him into the corner to start before hitting a hard shoulder to send the champion to the floor. Back in and they head to the mat with Bret grabbing a headlock to take over. Bret gets a few near falls off some rollups and it’s right back to the headlock.

Back up again and Davey grabs a hammerlock but Bret hits a HARD elbow to the face to escape, drawing the ire of the fans. Davey takes him down with basic technique and cranks on the armbar. The hold stays on for a good while with the fans getting louder and louder the longer Smith has control. Bret finally sends him into the ropes to escape and drives a knee into Smith’s ribs. The fans boo Hart out of the stadium for a basic move like a knee and boo even louder for a chinlock.

An atomic drop (called a reverse piledriver by Vince) puts Smith down and Bret blocks a crucifix (which worked earlier) in a Samoan Drop for two. Another chinlock is quickly broken but Davey charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. A bulldog puts Bulldog down but he slams Bret off the top a second later. Davey misses a top rope splash and is sent to the outside, drawing a ton of heat for Bret.

The champion tries a dive to the floor but lands on Davey’s back, nearly breaking several bones in the process. Bret sends him into the post before heading back inside pounding away with European uppercuts. Hart hooks a chinlock for a good while before loading up the Five Moves of Doom. He pulls Bulldog up by the hair to show how evil he is and it’s off to a sleeper. This stays on for a LONG time as well but Smith rams him into the corner to escape again.

They slug it out but Davey drops him out of a gorilla press into the ropes. Three straight clotheslines get two for Smith and a gorilla press gets the same. The delayed vertical and the chest first bump into the buckle get the same. Bulldog hits his powerslam finisher but Bret gets out at two, with far less of a reaction from the crowd than you would expect. Bret rolls through a suplex for two of his own, only to get superplexed down for a near fall.

Back up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down, giving the fans a needed breather. While laying on his back Bret hooks the Sharpshooter ala last year against Mr. Perfect, terrifying the fans. Smith gets the rope so Bret tries a suplex, but Davey drops to his knees and hooks both legs for the pin and the title. The place ERUPTS on the three count.

Rating: A+. This took awhile to get going but once those near falls started it turns into an instant classic. Davey had to win here and it was a perfectly clean pin in the middle of the ring. Bret, ever the critic, doesn’t like this match and basically blames the whole thing on Smith for being spent five minutes in. Those of us in the real world see it for what it is: a masterpiece.

Davey would drop the title in November to Shawn Michaels before being released over human growth hormone issues. He was in WCW very soon thereafter and challenged Vader for the World Title at Slamboree 1993.

WCW World Title: Vader vs. Davey Boy Smith

Dude, Rule Britannia is copyrighted? Basically the idea is that Vader is unhurtable and everyone has been trying to find someone to stop him. He would beat Sting, Cactus, break the back of a jobber (literally) and more or less just rampage through the company. Then he fought this guy named Flair. Anyway they’re just showing off power to start here so there isn’t much to say.

Vader gets him in the corner and mauls him as he is known to do. Out to the floor and Vader pulls a Sting, crashing into the railing on a splash attempt. Smith gets a solid slam and the champ is in trouble. Davey even manages the DELAYED vertical on Vader. My jaw literally dropped at that one as he had him up there for like five or six seconds. Smith runs into a boot which does nothing as he slams Vader again.

Smith sends him to the floor and the crowd is actually getting into this. The fans of course chant Whoomp There It Is for some reason. Crucifix is countered into something like a Samoan Drop to put Davey down again. Vader Bomb hits a few moments later but Smith kicks out to a solid reaction.

Vader cranks it up and hits the thing where he jumps into you off the middle rope. Davey slams him off the top and gets a headbutt off the top but can’t get anything going for more than a few seconds. Rollup gets two. Whenever Vader is in trouble he fires a big right hand to get out of it. Why mess with what works I suppose. Top rope splash gets no cover for the champion.

This match needs to end, like NOW. Vader throws on a chinlock and Smith scares me again by picking him up on his shoulders and dropping back. Someone got the GOOD steroids this week. Smith catches a charging Vader in something resembling the powerslam but Race breaks up the count. Race gets beaten up on the floor…and then Vader hits Smith with a chair for the ultra lame DQ.

Rating: D. This was ridiculously boring as no one cared. The power moves by Davey were great but at the same time that’s not enough to carry a match. They did what they could but the clashes of styles just killed it. Vader needs a guy that can move around out there because Vader can sell quite well for them. Not the worst I’ve ever seen, but totally uninteresting especially with that ending.

The feud continued in this six man tag at Clash of the Champions #23.

Sting/Dustin Rhodes/British Bulldog vs. Sid Vicious/Rick Rude/Vader

Sid is managed by Colonel Robert Parker, a stereotypical rich southern man based on Elvis Presley’s manager Colonel Tom Parker crossed with Colonel Sanders. Rude has a metal briefcase with him, containing his US Title. He never lost the belt in a match but was stripped due to injury. Dustin won the title in a tournament and defended against Rude but the match went to a draw so the title is vacant. Vader and Sid have given Bulldog and Sting an offer to retire to avoid facing the monsters at Beach Blast but the heroes don’t seem interested.

Sting and Rude get things going and the fans are immediately into the match. A headlock has Rude in trouble but it’s quickly into a top wristlock with neither guy being able to get the advantage. Rude drives him into the corner to escape a hammerlock and takes over with a back elbow to the face. Sting comes right back with a gorilla press but Vader and Sid catch Rude in mid air.

For some reason Dustin and Bulldog let Sting fight all three on his own before it’s off to Dustin to hammer on Rude. Vader tries a save but splashes Rude by mistake. Bulldog comes in to face Sid in a battle of power with Sid being knocked to the apron. Sting gets in a cheap shot and Bulldog nails Sid with a big shoulder block. Dustin and Vader get tags and it’s Rhodes hammering the champion down in the corner. He lifts him up for a nice suplex and drops some elbows before a seated clothesline drops Vader again.

Dustin goes up top but misses an elbow, allowing Vader to take his head off with a clothesline of his own. The Vader Bomb gets two and it’s back to Rude who works on the back. Rhodes blocks a suplex and drops Rude face first to the mat but it’s right in front of Sid. Vicious comes in and works Dustin over in the corner. The nearly seven foot Sid takes Dustin down with a headlock takeover and nips up to get back to his feet.

The crowd isn’t sure what to think until Vader comes in and destroys Dustin with rights and lefts. He goes to the middle rope but dives into a powerslam. Rude breaks up a tag attempt and tries a tombstone, only for Dustin to counter into one of his own. Everything breaks down and Sting takes Vader to the floor but misses the Splash against the barricade. Vader cracks Dustin in the head with the briefcase, allowing Rude to fall on top for the pin.

Rating: B. Really fun six man tag here with both teams looking great. The Dustin vs. Vader sequence was awesome and I’d love to see them fight in a regular match later on. This was another good example of putting a bunch of feuds together into one match and it almost never fails. The whole thing worked very well and the cheating makes more sense here than it did in the previous show’s Tag Team Title match. This was a much more violent feud and had been a more violent match whereas the title match was a technical match and about the titles rather than the hatred.

Bulldog would come back to the WWF in 1994 and get a WWF Title shot against Bret Hart at In Your House #5.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

The much stronger Bulldog shoves the champion into the corner to start but Bret grabs an armbar to take over. Davey flips around a lot but ultimately takes Bret down by the hair like a true villain should. Back to the armbar by Bret as we take a look at Cornette’s tennis racket cover which looks like Santa Claus’ face. Bret gets two off a cross body and goes right back to the arm. Smith comes back with another hair pull before tying Bret up in the Tree of Woe (hanging him upside down in the corner) to stomp away.

Off to the chinlock as the fans are solidly behind Bret. They soon get bored of cheering for him though and start chanting for the then upstart promotion ECW. Vince informs us that the Undertaker has challenged the winner of this match for the Royal Rumble. After a Cornette tennis racket shot we’re in the third chinlock less than ten minutes into the match before the required chest first bump into the buckle gets two on Hart.

A backdrop puts Bret down for two more and we hit the chinlock again. At least this time he makes it a headlock as the fans chant USA, in theory for the Canadian champion. Bret comes back with a monkey flip and a bulldog to the Bulldog for two. A piledriver lays Smith out for two more but Bulldog crotches Bret on the ropes to break up a superplex. Bret falls to the floor and the fans want a table. Instead they get the champion being sent into the steps as Bulldog is in control.

Smith sends him hard into the barricade and Bret is busted wide open. Back in and Bulldog piledrives Bret down for a near fall before pounding at the cut on the forehead. The delayed vertical suplex gets the same and there’s a gorilla press slam for good measure. Bulldog channels his former partner the Dynamite Kid with a headbutt to the back for two. Smith seems to have hurt his knee though so Bret tries a quick Sharpshooter, only to have Smith break it up just as easily.

A hard shoulder puts Bret onto the floor so Smith can try to get some feeling back into his knee. Bret counters a suplex back inside into a rollup for yet another near fall before a double clothesline puts both guys down. They’re quickly back up and a backdrop puts Smith on the floor. Bret is ticked off now and dives over the top to pound away on Smith even more. Davey will have none of that though and powerslams Bret down on the floor to suck the life out of the crowd.

The protective mats are peeled back but Bret blocks a suplex by crotching Davey on the barricade in a nice callback to earlier in the match. Bret clotheslines him off the barricade and heads back inside where a backbreaker gets two. Now the superplex connects for two and an O’Connor Roll gets the same. In a really sudden finish, Bulldog charges into a boot in the corner and Bret cradles him for the pin. The look on Diana’s face makes the ending even better as it almost says “HOW DARE YOU KEEP THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This got WAY better in the end but the first ten minutes or so of this were pretty dreadful. Also the ending didn’t do it any favors as I was expecting a callback to the Summerslam 1992 match but we didn’t get anything close to it. Still though, good match and by far the best thing we’ve had on one of these shows in the last two shows.

The next year saw Davey head into the tag team scene along with brother in law Owen Hart. They would get a shot at the belts at In Your House #10.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Smoking Gunns

The Gunns are defending and the challengers have no Cornette with them due to the beating he received earlier. We see Cornette in the back with attorney Clarence Mason having him sign something. Also I have no idea why Owen left ringside after the previous segment when his match was next. Billy walks behind Bart with his arm around Sunny which probably isn’t a good sign. Sunny had a tradition of having a huge poster of her fall down from the ceiling but this time the challengers have painted a beard on it. Nice touch.

Clarence Mason comes to ringside, apparently replacing Cornette for tonight. Owen hits a few cross bodies for two each on Billy before it’s off to a headlock. A small package gets two more for Owen as JR is still playing the heel on commentary, ensuring Vince that the REAL Diesel and Razor are back. Remember that line because it becomes important in a few months.

Off to Bart vs. Davey with the Bulldog hitting a few dropkicks to take over before cranking his arm for a bit. Owen comes back in for a chop block as the target shifts to Bart’s knee. Owen and Bulldog take turns working on the leg with Owen putting on a modified Indian deathlock. A Boston crab doesn’t last long as Bart quickly makes the rope but Bulldog comes in for a vertical suplex to put him down again. Bulldog even throws in a front flip to show off his athleticism a bit.

Back to Owen for more leg work but his spinning toe hold is countered into a small package for two. Owen comes right back with an enziguri for two of his own but Billy finally interferes, pulling Bulldog out to the floor and sending him into the steps. Back in and Bart is able to make the tag off to Billy. The champions take over but Billy almost immediately tags back to Bart.

The Sidewinder connects but Mason distract the referee, allowing Owen to come in off the top with a shot to the back of Bart’s head. Bulldog can only get two though and it’s back to Billy who again only hits a few stomps before tagging out to the weakened Bart. Bart loads up a powerslam on the Bulldog but gets rammed into Billy who wasn’t paying attention. Davey hits the real powerslam for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. The title change was the right idea but this was one of the longest eleven minute matches I’ve ever seen. Both teams were heels here so the fans didn’t have anyone to cheer for and the Gunns were boring in the first place. It wasn’t terrible but the match didn’t do anything for me at all.

The team would hold the belts for months, during which both would make the finals of a tournament for the first European Title. From Raw in Germany on March 3, 1997.

European Title: Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog

They’re tag champions but have been having a lot of problems lately. This is the finals of a tournament with the first title going to the winner. They go to the corner to start with no one having an advantage. They exchange wristlock counters and it’s Davey with some very early control. He counters a monkey flip with a cartwheel and both guys nip up to a standoff.

They shake hands and things reset. Owen grabs the wrist and climbs the ropes but gets caught in a powerbomb. Davey catapults him to the floor and invites him back in. Rollup gets two for Owen but an armdrag puts him on the mat where Davey takes over with a headlock again. Owen tries the same wristlock counter as before but Davey drops him right on his back and arm to counter.

We take a break and come back with Davey working on the arm some more. Davey’s old crucifix gets two. Delayed vertical is countered into an enziguri attempt which Davey ducks. There’s a surfboard but Owen grabs the referee to escape. Bulldog speeds things up but Owen avoids him to toss him out to the floor. Davey is holding his knee but gets back in pretty easily.

Back in Owen tries a leapfrog but injures his own knee. He’s channeling his inner Bret though and is goldbricking so he can get the advantage. Now they’re ticked off and the Sharpshooter is broken up. Things speed up and Owen kicks his head off for no cover. Owen drops a leg for two and hooks a chinlock as they get a breath. Davey is knocked to the floor and a sunset flip back in gets two.

We take a second break and come back with Davey ramming elbows into Owen’s ribs but a belly to belly suplex stops him cold. Off to a camel clutch but Davey stands up and hits an electric chair to break the hold. Owen tries a Flair cover with his feet on the ropes for two. Middle rope elbow gets the same. This is already very good and is getting great. Up to the corner and Davey falls onto him to counter a superplex for two.

Davey comes back with clotheslines and the fans are getting into it. Suplex puts Owen down for two. Smith gorilla presses him but crotches him on the top. The Canadian grabs a German on the Englishman for two. Davey loads up the powerslam but Owen grabs the ropes to escape. There’s the enziguri and Davey is down. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Bulldog makes the rope. Owen loads up a tombstone but Davey reverses into the Powerslam for two. The victory roll that Owen beat Bret with at Mania X is countered into a rollup of Davey’s own for the pin.

Rating: A+. Just a total classic here as they countered each other perfectly the entire time and we got a great false finish with Owen kicking out of the powerslam. Do you ever remember that happening? This is easily one of the best matches you’ll ever see, especially on free TV. Great stuff and probably their second best matches ever each.

Smith would hold the title for several months, eventually defending it in England against Shawn Michaels at One Night Only.

European Title: Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog

Now if you want to talk about a mixed reaction, Shawn gets a mixed reaction. I mean it’s right down the middle. Davey of course gets the big old hero pop that you knew he would get. While it may seem obvious as to who is going to win here, this wasn’t as in the bag as it appeared to be. Smith losing here would have caused about as big of a riot as Bret losing in Montreal.

Smith is about as over here as Vince would be in a “Who’s got the biggest ego contest”. Shawn walks up the ramp for no apparent reason before coming back to the ring. Smith starts off by completely overpowering Shawn who again walks up the ramp. In a cool looking spot, with Shawn on the apron and looking away from the ring, Smith hooks him for a reverse suplex and just drops him back into the ring. It looks a lot better than it sounds.

Vince says he’s surprised Shawn didn’t break in half. Say that again in about four months Vinny. How many freaking big time matches have these guys had? They have the final SNME match, they have KOTR 97 and now this. That’s a lot for a series of big matches when you think about it, especially over that long of a stretch of time. Bulldog is ridiculously popular and is dominating.

Apparently he’s dropped about 20 pounds or so, which is about 2 stones. Vince says Shawn is in his prime. I don’t know about that, but it’s close enough. As Bulldog beats on him for a good while, here’s Rick Rude, who was the insurance policy for Shawn in what would form into DX. They had been hanging out lately but nothing concrete had happened yet.

We hit the sleeper now to kill off a bit of time which is fine by me. Lawler says not to adjust the TV. Who does that? I mean really, have you ever adjusted your TV? I certainly haven’t. The pace slows a lot with Shawn working on the arm, which means you know what’s coming. Yep, there it is, as Smith shows incredible power and picks up Shawn while he’s in an arm lock.

Here’s HHH and Chyna as I wonder WHERE ARE THE FREAKING HARTS??? Shawn starts his finishing sequence and goes for Chin Music in the corner of all places but Smith counters into the powerslam. Rude grabs the foot and we hit the floor where the kick connects. Rude and HHH beat on him as somehow the referee sees none of this which is just completely ridiculous but whatever.

HHH even hits the Pedigree on the floor. Apparently Davey is wearing a knee brace for a bad knee which hasn’t been mentioned until just now. Well alright then. HHH and Chyna help Shawn and pull him about 6 inches. Seriously, how can the referee not freaking notice this??? Now Rude interferes again as this is beyond stupid now. Oh apparently Bulldog slipped off the platform that the ring is on and hurt his knee.

Well that’s something I guess. The referee stops the match to give Shawn the title and the Grand Slam. There are rumors that Smith was supposed to win but Shawn and HHH played politics to get the win as close to two days before this show. Somehow, I could completely buy that. There was zero need for Shawn to win here, especially in a show never mentioned on American television.

I really don’t…oh you have got to be screwing with me. Shawn puts the hold back on and Smith’s wife gets in to help but is picked off by Chyna and BRET AND OWEN HART RUN IN FOR THE SAVE. WHERE IN THE HOLY FREAKING GOODNESS WERE THEY FIFTEEN FREAKING MINUTES AGO??? COME ON VINCE WILL YOU THINK ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE??? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

If they’re going to run in for the save NOW why not do it when there were three people cheating to help Shawn? DX poses forever to end this. Yeah, after that stupidity, I’d totally buy the HHH and Shawn politics thing.

Rating: B-. The ending here is just so stupid that it makes my head spin, which makes me really think Shawn and HHH had something to do with it. Honestly, what did Shawn gain here? Does anyone remember anything about his European title reign that had to do with him defending the belt? I certainly don’t.

Actually, I remember him losing it on the Christmas show to HHH after Slaughter made them fight because he hadn’t defended it in over two months. What in the world was the point of him getting it here other than to help his own ego? That makes zero sense. Other than that bringing this match WAY down and the Harts looking like idiots, this was a kind of slow match and overly long with the interference sucking the life out of it at the end. It’s not bad, but not great at all.

Smith would bail to WCW after Montreal but that run was so horrible that we’ll pick things up at Unforgiven 1999 when Smith came back as a heel and was put in a six pack challenge for the WWF Title.

WWF Title: HHH vs. British Bulldog vs. Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mankind vs. Kane

Remember this is two in the ring and tagging in and out with Austin as guest referee. Oh ok Austin is enforcer and Korderas is the regular referee. That helps a bit. Entrances of course take a LONG time as you would expect them to here. Kane is rocking the mainly black outfit with red mixed in. Always loved that. So Chyna is a face on her own and a heel here. Ok then. She turned more than Team 3D does now if that tells you anything.

Rock gets a nice pop but not epic like he would get after Austin left. He’s walking a lot slower than he usually does too. That’s just odd. THERE’S your big pop for Austin. That’s more like it. The crowd is alive at least. Ross gets a solid shot at WCW by saying he’s never heard an ovation like this in Charlotte for any athlete. Austin does commentary. Rock and Bulldog start us off. Thankfully Smith is wearing long tights here.

It’s weird hearing Austin cursing every other word in today’s wrestling environment. It’s Kane and HHH here as I’m not going to try to keep up with all the tags here. I like the tagging ideas here as we don’t have to deal with the massive chaos. That’s just annoying otherwise. Austin wants to finish his six pack before the Six Pack match ends. They’re starting slow here which is fine as they have a good deal of time, over twenty minutes, to work with.

Austin is so freaking entertaining it’s scary. He wants to know where you mail the paychecks to a guy in Parts Unknown. That’s a very good question. How do you get a flight there? We get Kane vs. Big Show which is an epic rivalry. I mean think of how long those two have feuded for.

And we’re back to the beginning pairing as we have Bulldog vs. Rock. Solid stuff so far and having Austin on commentary is helping. He would be leaving in a few months to have neck surgery so I’m guessing he’s on commentary to give him time off. Smart if nothing else.

How weird is it to think that Austin wouldn’t have the world title for over a year and a half from this point? As great as he was, he didn’t hold the title for like 20 months in the Attitude Era. That’s often forgotten. Foley and HHH are in the aisle and there goes Rock with them. Ross calls a low blow on HHH a unique form of birth control. Considering Stephanie was just announced as pregnant again, that’s rather funny.

Naturally they’re all on the floor now. SICK Texas Piledriver on the stairs to HHH from Mankind. That sounded AWFUL. This has been really good so far in case you were wondering. Foley tags Rock in so he can have a chance to win the title. Foley’s character was so far ahead of everyone else’s no one could see him. And the referees cross their picket lines to complain about Korderas crossing the picket lines. This is freaking stupid. Rock beats up Big Show as some things never change.

Rock steals Austin’s beer to a BIG pop. Odd. Foley is up from a Kane tombstone in like 8 seconds. Not good Mick. It’s finishers a go-go here as it’s a mess that you knew it would come down to. Mandible Claw to Rock which gets Austin fired up. Show goes off and just beats the heck out of everyone. He chokeslams Foley and the other referees pull out Korderas. Dang it how stupid can you freaking get??? Austin takes over as referee.

Thankfully he beats up the referees as he should since they’re freaking morons. It’s Rock and HHH in the ring and Rock goes for the People’s Elbow which gets two as Show pulls Austin out and Rock takes a chair shot. HHH gets a Pedigree on Rock 10 seconds after the Rock Bottom and Elbow for the title. Ok then. At least Foley isn’t the only one not selling today. Austin beats him up and beers all around ends it.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here. I really liked it as they gave them time and it never felt like it was out of control or anything like that which is a very nice touch. Other than Taker or Austin you couldn’t ask for a bigger lineup either. This was a solid and very entertaining match that didn’t feel anywhere near like the twenty minutes it got which is a very good sign. Very fun and solid match which works very well to close the show.

We’ll wrap it up with one more title win. From Insurrextion 2000 in England.

Hardcore Title: British Bulldog vs. Crash Holly

To say the crowd erupted is an understatement. Crash chokes him to insane booing. This is by far the biggest reaction that Crash has ever gotten. Bulldog is just destroying him here as you would expect. Crash has a kendo stick broken over his back. The Powerslam gets the title. This was REALLY short.

Smith was one of those guys that kind of hit his ceiling and there’s nothing wrong with that. He had a lot going for him and would have been champion in the world of two titles, but he was never quite good enough to be the top guy in the organization. The prime of his career was one heck of a run though and he’s pretty easily the most famous wrestler to come out of Europe because of that time among other things.

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Today is the man of a million gimmicks, but his most famous is Brutus Beefcake.

Ed Boulder/Dallas Montgomery vs. Ron Bass/Pete Austin

This is Boulder’s debut in Memphis. Bass makes fun of Ed’s long blond hair before the match gets going to give us a bit of a story here. The heels jump Ed and Dallas to get things going with Bass cutting Boulder open before the bell. The dominance is on quickly with the heels taking turns on Boulder. There isn’t much to talk about here as Boulder and Dallas have gotten in no offense so far and Bass is just mauling Ed. The match is finally stopped due to brutality.

Like most wrestlers of this era, Boulder had a cup of coffee in the AWA. Here’s a match from Super Sunday 1983.

Wahoo McDaniel vs. Dizzy Ed Boulder

Boulder is more famous as Brutus Beefcake and has long blonde hair here. He looks to be roided out of his mind also. Feeling out process to start and Wahoo chops him down hard. Jerry Lawler jumps in on commentary. Test of strength goes to Wahoo and he grabs a top wristlock. Down to the mat and Wahoo drops knees onto the arm. Boulder takes him down and drops some knees onto Wahoo. To be fair that’s a large target so it’s hard to miss.

Lawler talks about winning his match and being glad it didn’t end in a DQ. Boulder slams him down and drops another knee and then ANOTHER. He must have dropped about seven so far. Now to mix it up he chokes with the knee as well. Wahoo gets whipped into the corner and Boulder goes after the knee a bit. The announcers talk about the main event as Wahoo comes back with chops and a right hand to the ribs. Wahoo rams him into the corner a few times and goes on the warpath. A big chop sets up a big elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really boring. Wahoo was a guy who got over for his character and toughness, but his in ring work never quite worked all that well. Either way, this wasn’t very interesting at all but at least it was short. Also having Lawler on commentary makes a wrestling match feel right for some reason.

Beefcake would become his most famous gimmick in the WWF, with one of his first matches coming at MSG on October 22, 1984.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Tony Garea

Brutus struts to start before shoving Tony into the corner. Tony comes back with some right hands and a headlock to slow things down one more time. Back up and a cross body gets two for Garea and it’s back to the stupid headlock. Beefcake counters into a headscissors to really crank things up before choking away. Brutus pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Tony to get in some right hands of his own. Back up again and Garea gets two off an O’Connor Roll, only to get caught by a knee to the head for the pin.

Rating: D+. Garea is a good guy but Brutus wasn’t worth much at this point in his career. The match was kept short to prevent Brutus from looking weak which was a good idea, but it didn’t make it an easy sit. If it sounds like I’m rambling to fill in space here, it’s because this show has dulled my brain very badly.

Brutus would be on the first Wrestlemania card, facing the son of a legend.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Sammartino was the son of a legend and had a good way into the business as a result. He had a good look on top of that, but he had one thing holding him back: he had no talent. His “career” was really just a way to keep Bruno around for a few more years to draw in some extra crowds and that’s the only reason this match is happening. Beefcake is new at this point and is nowhere near what he would become so this is going to be pretty bad.

David’s height doesn’t help him either as he’s about 5’8 or so. They head to the mat to start and Brutus has to bail to the floor for a breather. Back in and Sammartino takes it right back to the mat with a front facelock. A legdrop to the arm has Beefcake in trouble and it’s time to talk to the managers a bit. Beefcake comes back with a headlock takeover but David grabs the legs to work them over a bit.

Off to a leg lock as we keep things very basic so far. Brutus fights up with his leg seeming fine all of a sudden. He drops some forearms to David’s back and there’s a hard whip into the corner by Beefcake. David comes back with a backdrop and they slug it out a bit. Sammartino strikes like his daddy. A suplex gets two for David but Brutus sends him to the floor. The managers get into a fight and both guys run in for a double DQ.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s a competitive match and not completely terrible, but the problem is how low level of quality this was. Neither guy was terrible but you could tell they were trying which makes a big difference. This could have been WAY worse but it just wasn’t that good in the first place.

Here’s a match from less than a month later from Best of the WWF Volume 4. No story to it but with this matchup, you don’t really need one.

Dream Team vs. Tito Santana/Ricky Steamboat

This is in Toronto. My goodness that’s quite a face team. Ricky vs. Beefcake starts us off. The ring is quickly cleared and Ricky hits what we would call a springboard forearm to take over. Off to Tito as the camera stuff is really all over the place here. Jesse sounds like he has a sore throat. Valentine and Santana stall a lot so Brutus slams Tito and then brings in Greg.

Valentine misses an elbow and it’s back to more stalling. I can barely recognize Jesse’s voice. That’s how messed up it is. Big clothesline puts Valentine down but the Figure Four is broken up. Greg takes over and works over the arm. Off to Bruti who can’t do much more than choke at this point. This is before the Expresses established the tag team formula so things are a bit different here.

Tito grabs an armbar but his back is to the wrong corner so he can’t get anything going. Back to Beefcake in control via a headlock. In a nice sequence, Beefcake points at Steamboat to distract the referee and Valentine gets in a shot to the back of Santana. With Ricky trying to get in, Santana gets on all fours and tries to bob and weave, eventually diving through Beefcake’s legs for the HOT tag to Steamboat.

Sleeper goes on Beefcake but he pretty easily breaks it up. Valentine comes in to hammer on Ricky and an eye rake slows the Dragon down. The Dream Team (not sure if they’re named that yet or if Steamboat is the Dragon) works him over and Valentine starts loading up the Figure Four but Steamboat small packages him for two. Steamboat fights out of the corner and makes ANOTHER hot tag to Santana. The forearm gets two on Valentine and everything breaks down. Ricky is sent to the floor but he comes back off the top to take Brutus out. Santana counters an atomic drop, hooks the leg and the Figure Four ends this.

Rating: B. Great old school tag match here and more proof that you don’t need some big long back story to have a great match. These four had no history together outside of Valentine beating Santana for the IC Title and that was like 6 months prior to this. Very fun wrestling match here and we didn’t need Teddy Long to book it.

Since he’s teamed with him about a million times, here’s Beefcake against Hogan from August 17, 1985.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Brutus Beefcake

This is from Landover, Maryland which I think is just outside of Baltimore. Hogan is in white again as the yellow wasn’t quite finalized yet. This is the Dream Team Brutus so he’s just a tag wrestler for the most part. This would be just a step ahead of Edge vs. Justin Gabriel today. Brutus struts a lot. This is from August of 85 apparently. Basically every time Hogan goes for a punch Brutus struts away so Hogan finally does the same thing for a nice reaction.

Clothesline by Hogan puts Brutus down and an atomic drop puts him on the floor. Back in and Brutus lands some forearms and Hogan goes flying. You would think he had been shot or something. Hogan rams him into the buckle and chokes away, showing off that extensive offensive repertoire. Hogan throws a headbutt for the third match on this tape with the commentators saying they’ve never seen it before. This is the earliest chronologically here so maybe they haven’t seen it at this point.

Brutus takes over again and sends Hulk to the floor. Hogan fights back with his usual stuff and bites Brutus’ head. Brutus is like boy you don’t bite the Booty Man and sends him into the railing. That gets two back in the ring. Powerslam by Beefcake gets two. There’s a bearhug which is an odd move as Brutus isn’t a very muscular guy at this point. This eats up a good minute and a half to two minutes.

Hogan fights out of it and hits a big clothesline to take Brutus down. An elbow sets up a bunch of left hands (it was 1985 so he didn’t have the routine down just yet). There’s the big boot and then a slam to set up the legdrop….for two? Oh ok Johnny V, the manager of Brutus that I may not have mentioned, distracted Hogan. A high knee from Brutus takes Johnny down and Hogan rolls up Brutus to end it.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t anything great at all. The problem at the end of the day is that Brutus meant nothing here and didn’t have any real history with Hogan. Heenan’s guys had a history against Hogan but Johnny V was a nothing manager with like one tag team to his name that meant anything. Boring match and not Hogan’s bread and butter which hurt it a lot.

Beefcake would team up with Greg Valentine as the Dream Team and win the Tag Team Titles in late 1985. Here’s a title defense from Saturday Night’s Main Event #5.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team has Beefcake and Valentine and are the champions. If you’ve seen Mania 2, you know the ending here. The Dream Team comes out to We Are the Champions. That’s very awesome. Johnny Valiant, the manager for the champions talks about how losing in a non-title match means nothing.

Smith and Valentine start us off which should be good if nothing else. They’re going fast paced which is always fun. The 80s were the glory days of tag team wrestling and this is no exception. I love this kind of stuff so don’t expect a lot of play by play here. Albano and Valiant are about to fight on the floor and the teams join them as we hit a commercial. And now the heels take over.

Valentine even goes to the middle rope so you know he’s into this one. Dynamite comes in and cranks it up. He’s like Benoit so you know he’s going to be intense out there. In a creative ending, Valentine and Kid ram heads and Valentine lands on him for the pin to retain. I like that.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here. They went with the formula and it worked quite well and when you throw in a solid finish, what more can you ask for? Like I said, this was the best time for tag wrestling ever so this was light years ahead of the best you see today. This is real tag stuff, not four singles guys having a 2-2 match.

Here’s a rematch between those teams from Wrestlemania II, in what is arguably Beefcake’s best match ever.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.

The team would split up at Wrestlemania III with Beefcake turning face. Brutus would feud with Valentine for awhile afterwards, including this match from June 23, 1987.

Rougeau Brothers/Brutus Beefcake vs. Dream Team/Johnny Valiant

This is a dark match from a Superstars taping in Indianapolis. Ray vs. Dino to start us off. Dino keeps running as you would expect him to. Valentine tries to cheat by holding Ray but Ray avoids the jumping knee. The place ERUPTS on something that simple. It’s amazing how you never see that anymore. Beefcake comes in and goes for Greg’s hair, resulting in the heels congregating on the floor.

Valiant, a manager remember, hides on the floor. Beefcake gets caught in the corner and even Valiant gets in some time on offense. Beefcake grabs a sleeper on Valentine but Valiant makes the save. Both Rougeaus come in and pound on Bravo as the place loses its mind. Boston Crab by Ray is broken up by Valentine, which draws Ray into the bad corner.

Back to Greg who gets a shoulderbreaker for two. In a pretty impressive power display, Ray counters a piledriver into the position for an Alabama Slam, but instead he walks towards his corner with Valentine on his back. Greg doesn’t let him get the tag but still it was impressive. Ray is on the floor and we’re clipped to a later point of him on the floor. Bravo drops another elbow and we’re clipped to Valentine in there instead.

Back to Bravo and Dino hammers away. This is the WWE 24/7 version so the big WWF Superstars of Wrestling banner is censored. Off to Johnny V and they just kind of let Ray tag in Brutus. He and Jacques clean house and it all breaks down. The heels are all thrown together and a pair of dropkicks send the non-managers to the floor. Valiant is put in the sleeper and we’re done.

Rating: C. This was fine. You never see stuff like this in modern wrestling and that’s a shame. There’s nothing too bad here and it was just a six man tag. The fans get to be happy and the faces get a win. There’s no bigger plan here and none of the guys really seem to be all obsessed about moving up the card. All that matters here is getting a win. Why can’t we see more of that?

Beefcake would start flying up the card, receiving an Intercontinental Title match at Wrestlemania IV.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Brutus Beefcake

Sherri Martel is with Honky as Peggy Sue here which is a pretty amazing character change for her. This is during Honky’s insanely long run that drew a ton of money and is pretty awesome all around. Brutus hits a quick atomic drop and messes with Honky’s hair to play with his mind a bit. Honky bails to the floor as Jesse and Gorilla debate crooked referees. Back in and Beefcake rams Honky’s head into the buckle a few times as this is one sided so far.

A high knee sends the champion back to the floor but once back in, Beefcake gets caught by a shot to the stomach. Honky takes over and stomps away which is about the extent of his offense. He loads up the Shake Rattle and Roll but drops it and goes back to stomping. Honky tries it again but Brutus grabs the rope to block it. Beefcake pounds away a bit and grabs his sleeper but Jimmy knocks out the referee. Honky gets knocked but but there’s no referee so Brutus celebrates like an idiot. Brutus cuts Jimmy Hart’s hair for fun and Honky walks out. It’s a DQ I think.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as this show is just going WAY too long at this point. We’re only about two and a half hours into it and we’ve got four matches left. Brutus was just another guy in there to not get the title off Honky, which adds him to a list of about 10 guys who couldn’t do it. Honky would get his soon enough though.

We’ll jump ahead a bit more to Summerslam 1989 where Beefcake teamed up with Hulk Hogan to face Zeus and Randy Savage in the main event of the second Summerslam.

Zeus/Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake/Hulk Hogan

Before we get going, Liz gets her own full entrance as the secret weapon. It’s a brawl to start but Hogan can’t hurt Zeus. He goes to the eyes but can’t slam Zeus down so the monster chokes Hulk down. Beefcake tries to dive on Zeus but gets caught in midair. Now it’s a bearhug on Hogan but here’s Savage off a tag. Why in the world would you change when you had Hogan in trouble like that? A top rope ax handle gets two for Randy and it’s off to the sleeper.

Hogan elbows out of it and hits some shoulder blocks but Zeus knees him in the back to slow him down. Back to Zeus for another bearhug which takes Hogan down to the mat for some two counts. It’s back to Savage to snap Hogan’s throat over the top rope and a suplex gets two. Savage misses some elbow drops and there’s the hot tag to Beefcake. A high knee gets two on Savage and Beefcake hooks his sleeper. Savage rams him into the middle buckle and it’s off to Zeus, but Brutus puts him in a sleeper as well.

Randy breaks up the hold with Sherri’s loaded purse but he suckers Hogan into the ring instead of covering. Hogan stops Savage from attacking Liz but Beefcake is still in big trouble. Back to Zeus for some choking on Beefcake until the referee makes the save. Savage comes back in but walks into a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house but Sherri trips Hulk up to give Savage control again.

The big elbow hits but Hogan is up before there’s any cover. Savage runs away and it’s time for the showdown with Zeus. Hogan pounds away and finally puts Zeus down to one knee. Liz takes out Sherri and Beefcake intercepts Savage, causing him to drop the loaded purse. Hogan blasts Zeus in the face with the purse, slams him down and drops the leg for the pin.

Rating: D+. Amazingly enough, a non-wrestler like Zeus wasn’t capable of having a good match on any size of a stage. Beefcake and Savage were just window dressing here, but in this case the window dressing carried the match for his team. Zeus was just horrible here and was basically the original promotional stunt for a wrestling movie, which never works.

Beefcake’s next feud would be against the undefeated Mr. Perfect, who attacked him at Royal Rumble 1990. This set up a showdown at Wrestlemania VI.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

This is one of the biggest matches on the card. Beefcake starts fast and punches Perfect to the floor with a single right hand. Back in and another punch sends Perfect flying over the top rope again. Brutus pounds away some more and Perfect gets to do his over the top bumping. A running clothesline puts Perfect down and Beefcake calls for the sleeper as Mary Tyler Moore of all people is here.

Perfect’s manager the Genius (the original Damien Sandow. They both even did cartwheels) slides in his metal scroll to Perfect and a shot to the head gives Mr. control. Perfect pounds away with some slow shots to the chest but the fans are staying into this. Beefcake comes back with the required slingshot into the required head first into the post bump by Perfect which is enough for the win out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. The crowd carried this one as Beefcake wasn’t a great worker but he had more charisma than he knew what to do with. Perfect was a leading candidate to face Hogan here so he was certainly a top heel. The match wasn’t great but it was more than enough to fire the crowd up again here. Granted the crowd is already white hot so no complaints here.

Post match Brutus goes to cut Perfect’s hair but Genius steals the clippers. Beefcake chases down the worthless Genius for a sleeper and a haircut. Brutus’ SWEET music is playing the whole time on top of that.

Soon after this, Beefcake’s face would be destroyed in a boating accident, putting him on the shelf for several years. He would return in early 1993 and team up with Hulk Hogan as the Mega Maniacs. Now I’m sure you’ve seen the match against Money Inc. for the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania IX, so here’s a different match from March 8, 1993.

Beverly Brothers vs. Mega Maniacs

The Mega Maniacs would be Hogan and Beefcake. Someone thought THIS was a good idea? This would imply early 93 to me. Beefcake and one of the Beverlies start. Does it really matter? Before any contact is made Hogan comes in instead. The commentary is clearly after Mania as he’s credited as a 5 time champion but had no belt when he came in.

Pure dominance to start of course. Hogan is MUCH smaller than normal here as this was around the time of the steroids trial. Heenan explains why he hates Hogan: Hogan can get away with things that Heenan never could. That’s 100% true but of course no one but Heenan and Jesse would point such a thing out. Beefcake has a messed up face at this point but of course he’s just fine after getting it rammed into the top buckle.

Beefcake gets beaten down for a bit and I think you already can see the ending coming from a mile away. Were the Beverly Brothers supposed to have a gimmick? If they did I’ve never been able to get what it was. It’s a shame as they were very good in the AWA. Beefcake makes the I guess you could say hot tag to Hogan and you can fill in the blanks yourself. A Megaphone shot ends the match for Hogan of all things rather than the usual stuff. That was weird.

Rating: D. For a 6 minute match this was rather boring. The Beverlies were the jobbers of the tag division so it’s not like this was a shock in the slightest. The Hogan/Beefcake team would be done just after Mania as Hogan headed to retirement for about a year after King of the Ring. This was fine for what it was, but it was just bad overall. At least the people got to see Hogan though, even though he was more or less done at this point.

Hogan would leave for WCW soon after this so of course it was off to Atlanta for Beefcake as well. He would be called Brother Bruti but soon betray Hogan. Somehow Beefcake got to main event Starrcade 1994 as the Butcher, challenging Hogan for the belt.

WCW World Title: The Butcher vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan’s music stops for the big match intros then starts up again after his introduction. Commissioner Nick Bockwinkel sends Sullivan and Avalanche to the back. Hogan (the champion of course) shoves Butcher away but Butcher goes to the eyes to take over. The announcers talk about these two being longtime friends, with Heenan saying this is like watching Andy beat on Aunt Bea. They head to the floor with Butcher ramming Hogan into the barricade and choking away with a cable.

Jimmy Hart steals a chair from Butcher as Heenan cheers Butcher on. Hogan comes back and sends Butcher into the post before hitting him with a chair. Now Hogan chokes with a cord as well before we head back inside where Butcher hits a running knee to the face. A powerslam gets one for Butcher as he pulls off of Hogan. Butcher misses a middle rope elbow and Hogan comes back with right hands to the head. The champion bites Butcher’s head and pounds away in the corner as Hogan is in full control.

Butcher comes back with some throat shots before we hit the nerve hold. Hulk fights up and hits a shoulder block, only to be knocked back into the ropes. There’s Butcher’s sleeper but Hogan is almost immediately fighting up. Butcher takes him back down and lets Hogan go, but Hogan is playing possum. The challenger covers and Hogan of course shoves him off at two. As is Hogan’s custom, he fires off right hands, beats up the other invading Faces of Fear and hits the legdrop to retain the title.

Rating: F. At the end of the day, this is Hulk Hogan beating up a guy who has done absolutely nothing of note over the years but is Hogan’s good friend. In other words, this had nothing to do with the Butcher’s ability or anything like that, but rather that he was friends with Hogan. The match was horrible with Hogan never being in anything resembling danger, making this a horrible choice for the Starrcade main event. Other than maybe 1992, this was probably the weakest main event to date.

Beefcake would get yet another gimmick as the painted Zodiac, who would face Randy Savage at Halloween Havoc 1995.

Randy Savage vs. Zodiac

Zodiac has what would become Rey’s music soon. It’s Brutus Beefcake being able to only say yes or no. Yeah it didn’t work. I’m stunned too. Ok so apparently Luger and Savage have to win their matches earlier in the night to get a match with each other tonight. If just one wins then…nothing happens I guess. Well ok then. I love that rock version of Pomp and Circumstance.

Savage jumps him early and is dominating. A fan runs into the ring and stays in there for like 20 seconds with the referee just owning him. Security gets rid of him as Savage wins with the elbow in less than two minutes. This was supposed to be Kamala but he left the company. No one else noticed. Total squash so no rating.

Things would be a bit better when Zodiac became Booty Man and fought Diamond Dallas Page at Uncensored 1996.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booty Man

Oh where do I even start here. Ok, Booty Man is Brutus Beefcake first of all, who is freshly face again, having been a heel in the Dungeon of Doom, only to be thrown into this match with the explanation that he was sent in by Hogan as a spy and was really a good guy all along. That….actually could work. I mean think about it: is that really such an insane plot idea?

I certainly wouldn’t think so. I mean it’s certainly not great or fleshed out or anything, but considering it was likely thrown together at the last minute it’s fine by me. Now, you might be wondering why we’re even having to talk about Brutus here. Well, this was supposed to be Johnny B. Badd fighting DDP for the 12th time in a week or something like that, as they had been feuding forever.

Why were they feuding? Well, DDP was this poor guy that got some money together and went to play Bingo with Kimberly. He bought her ticket and she won $12 million dollars at a freaking Bingo game. I want to play in that game! Anyway, they went to court over it and the judge gave it to her. The thing was, he had already spent a ton of it, and Johnny was the only guy that would defend her.

The TV Title got involved in there too but it wasn’t important. Anyway, this is money vs. career so there we are. Badd had jumped ship about two weeks before this to WWF as Marc Mero and debuted 7 days after this. So with no one at all to go to, they turned Brutus into the Booty Man of all things and we have this.

Think about that story for a bit: that’s pretty much the main midcard feud: a feud over a game of Bingo, and people wonder why this company sucked so much at this time. DDP is allegedly penniless here, but he has enough to get tights and boots. He’s doing some almost biker gimmick or something here too. Oh and Kimberly is called the Booty Girl now. Page looks awful here. Brutus is wearing the same tights he wore as the Barber but now he’s wearing a headband and has a REALLY bad song.

They bury Badd before the match, saying he decided he just couldn’t compete in WCW anymore. Ouch. Dang shame he had about 5 times as big of a career in WWF than he ever would have in WCW where he would have been swallowed by the NWO in six months and gone to WWF for half the money later on. Yep, his life sucked. Sadly, we haven’t even started the match at this point.

We start with Page hiding and smoking a cigar as Brutus is apparently a Hulkamaniac. The way his tights are cut Brutus looks like he’s wearing a really big thong. They haven’t actually made contact yet. HE LOCKED UP WITH HIM! HE LOCKED UP WITH HIM!!! After that, we waste some more time. We’ve been going for almost three minutes before they actually do any real wrestling.

We get a great line of after the money came in, the Diamond Doll (Kimberly) got built up with Page. Think about that for a minute and you’ll get it. Anyway, they finally get going here and in a funny bit, Heenan starts talking about the angle and Dusty talks over him. Bobby starts getting upset and complaining, saying that he won’t talk anymore and it’s now the Tony and Dusty Show. BOBBY, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THINGS GOOD AND MADE OF PORK TALK TO US!!! DON’T DO THIS TO US!

Thankfully he’s back a few seconds later. Dusty actually says Brutus is a skilled mat wrestler. Yep, that’s what he said. Anyone want to place a bet on him topping that one later on? As Dallas is on the floor, Kimberly comes out looking like a roller disco cheerleading French maid. Trust me, you would describe her the same way. This is just horrible. It’s more or less a dance recital with some arm work in there.

That was the absolute worst mistiming thing I’ve EVER seen. DDP reverses an Irish Whip and then I have zero clue what they were planning as Page lays down on his back and Brutus bent forward after running like he was going to back drop Page. I really don’t know what that was supposed to be but even the announcers can’t hide the fact that it was horrible looking.

I mean TONY FREAKING SCHIAVONE says “Oh what was that?” in a very sarcastic tone. They try to say it was a botched arm drag but that doesn’t work. OH! They repeated the spot (dingbats) and it was supposed to be Brutus goes for a cross body and Page ducks. The problem was that the first time I think Brutus was thinking shoulder block or something. It was so obviously a repeat of the spot and it just looked awful.

You can tell that Page, who likes to map stuff out, has no clue what to do here. He liked to have his whole matches scripted beforehand, something Randy Savage was notorious for in his best days, but this was thrown together so there we are. Also, this is nowhere NEAR the DDP that you’re used to. Kimberly wants Brutus to be her boyfriend. That’s her exact line. Is she wanting to participate in a drug intervention or something?

In another jab at Badd, they say that Page signed to fight bad and the announcers unanimously agree Page would have won. They say a heel would beat a face, which sums everything up. Heenan says if she’s looking for a boyfriend to put an ad in the paper. Bobby says that in that outfit the only person she could get is a fellow acrobat. Page kisses Kimberly, leading to a high knee for the pin.

Brutus “keeps” Kimberly due to the stipulation. WCW: a slave trader’s paradise! Brutus kisses her. I’d recommend about a week in a dentist’s office along with a high dose of antibiotics. She’s the Booty Girl now. I’m out of jokes here so post amongst yourselves. Page would of course be back and somehow wrestle THREE MATCHES at the next PPV. Good to see they’re keeping their promises.

Rating: D. This went WAY too long. To be fair, Kimberly looked pretty good so it gets points for that. It also launched DDP’s career as he became this guy that despite being fired still was filmed by WCW cameras and shown on WCW TV. He would get some mystery benefactor that was never revealed due to the NWO. He would return and become the character we all know and at least like, launching him into the stratosphere in WCW.

Hey look! Another gimmick! From September 28, 1998.

Disciple vs. Sick Boy

No sunglasses for Disciple here and he comes out to the NWO music though he’s wearing an OWN vest. Sick Boy jumps him to start but Disciple no sells a suplex and chokes away. This time it’s Sick Boy no selling a gutwrench suplex but Disciple immediately no sells a neckbreaker and hits a big boot “to the face” (clearly missed) and the Apocalypse is good for the pin. I wonder how many people knew that was Brutus Beefcake. The only direct reference to it was a one off line from Warrior calling him a barber and he looked so different that it might not have been clear.

We’ll wrap it up with a one off show from Australia called I-Generation Superstars of Wrestling in 2000.

Barbarian vs. Brute Force

Force is Brutus Beefcake and this is a hardcore match for no apparent reason. Brutus pulls Barbarian away from posing for a trashcan shot to start things off. Some broomstick choking has Barbarian down in the corner but a low blow stops Force’s force. Yeah I know that was bad but this show is dumbing me down and we’re not even half an hour into it. A headbutt low gets Barbarian yelled at for no reason but a trashcan to the head is fine. The announcers talk about a popcorn machine as Barbarian stomps him down in the corner. I could go for a hot snack to keep me awake too.

We head to the floor with Barbarian being rammed into the table and hit with the trashcan again. Barbarian fights from his back with trashcan lid shots but has to avoid a shot with the steps. Back in and Brutus is hit with a 2×4 and punched in the head a lot. Some choking with a chain does no good for Barbarian as Brutus comes back with an atomic drop and a low headbutt. A Stunner, a DDT and a piledriver get two each for Brutus but a single kick to the chest/ribs is good for the pin for Barbarian.

Rating: D-. This is a good example of the problem with gimmick matches: there’s no reason for this to be a hardcore match so it’s just two people hitting each other with trashcans for ten minutes. That doesn’t make for an interesting match but rather a boring waste of time until we get to a very stupid finish that made Barbarian of all people look tough instead of the hero.

As you can see, Beefcake had a ton of names, once being called the Dizzy Booty Disciple Zodiac Clipmaster Barber Without a Face, Brutus Beefcake. That being said, Beefcake never was all that great in the ring and was best known as being one of Hulk Hogan’s closest friends. That being said, he certainly didn’t do that badly for himself and kept a job for about twenty years plus. That’s not bad all things considered and he was awesome around 1990 or so.

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Today we’ve got someone that I’ve never gotten the mass appeal of but maybe I’m missing something. It’s Jay Lethal.

Super Indy 2004 First Round: Jay Lethal vs. Jerelle Clark

Clark is a flippy guy that was around in the earlier days of TNA and is the NWA Wildside Junior Heavyweight Champion coming into this non-title match. Feeling out process to start as they trade armdrags with Lethal being sent to the floor. Back in and Lethal gets caught in a headscissors followed by some armdrags and a dropkick, sending him right back to the floor. Lethal comes back with a sunset flip and running dropkick for two of his own. A Swan Dive gets two more for Jay, followed by a release dragon suplex for the pin on Clark.

Rating: D+. This was a short match and neither guy really showed me much. I’m not sure about having a champion get pinned clean in about five minutes but indy wrestling is strange sometimes. Clark didn’t show me much here but he was more known for a very big flipping splash than anything else.

Lethal would spend a good deal of time in ROH around this point, including this match from Joe vs. Punk II on October 16, 2004.

Delirious vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is 19 here and is VERY young looking, probably because he is young. Delirious starts off with his usual insane stuff. Wait. DELIRIOUS WAS THE LIZARD MAN??? I heard about this for years about how ROH had a lizard man and it was Delirious? I’ve wondered who that was for years. Delirious hasn’t won a singles match yet so this is a big deal for him. Lethal takes him to the corner but is knocked off and takes a rana for two.

They exchange forearms which is a required sequence in ROH. There are the chops and the WOOs. Out to the floor and it’s kind of cool to see them using handheld cameras. Delirious hits a front flip dive to the floor to take Lethal down again. Lethal reverses a rollup for two. Delirious shouts a lot but gets caught in a neckbreaker but catches Lethal coming off the top in a Cutter. That’s not worthy of a pin though. Well to be fair Delirious is supposed to be insane. Shadows Over Hell (splash to the back and not called that yet) gets two. Delirious yells some more and gets caught in a dragon (full nelson) suplex for the pin.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t much of a point to it but for the opener this was fine. Lethal would get a lot better and Delirious would get a lot funnier so this is one of those matches that would be much better about 3 years later. Nothing great here but they were trying and for guys who didn’t have much experience, this worked well enough. Just not that interesting though.

We’ll jump ahead to TNA, where Lethal is probably best known. Here’s a random multiman match from Against All Odds 2006.

Alex Shelley vs. Matt Bentley vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams

One fall to a finish here. Bentley has Traci with him and we get the eternally stupid Bentley Bounce. Can we just watch Traci bounce instead? Bentley and Williams start things off as the fans chant for Lethal. It’s a feeling out process to start with Williams taking over. He goes to do the O Canada deal but Traci offers a curvy distraction. Lethal and Shelley come in and the fans get loud for the first time tonight.

We get a gymnastics routine resulting in them both trying dropkicks at the same time. They chop it out and Lethal hits a dropkick to the back of the head for two. A modified northern lights suplex gets the same for Jay as Shelley tags out with his foot. I guess that doesn’t count so Alex hooks a modified Koji Clutch on jay to take over. Shelley hits a slingshot hilo for two on Jay but Williams tags himself in to face Lethal.

Petey hits a dropkick to the back and slams Jay down. Off to a camel clutch but Shelley comes in to argue about Williams getting the win. That allows Jay to tag in Bentley as this is coming off more like a tag match than a fourway. Bentley cleans house but gets crotched by Petey. A Tower of Doom is broken up and Lethal grabs a bridging German for two on Shelley, but Bentley drops a top rope elbow to break it up. Williams counters a suplex and hits a rolling neckbreaker for two on Bentley.

Lethal comes back in and goes off on Shelley but Alex gets a drop toehold to break it up. Bentley comes back in and things speed WAY up as he and Shelley do a too fast to call sequence. Jackie Gayda comes out and goes after Shelley (Shelley filmed the tape that has been brought up multiple times tonight). She beats him up in the aisle as Bentley backdrops out of the Canadian Destroyer. Lethal dives on Bentley and steals the pin while he’s still down.

Rating: C+. This was fine but after we already saw one match similar to this, there wasn’t as much interest in seeing another one. Still though it was fine and a good use of about ten minutes. Also the fans were into Lethal which is more than can be said for anyone in the opener, save for Aries when he did the suicide dive. Decent match here but nothing that I’ll remember in about ten minutes.

Lethal would get involved in the bizarre Paparazzi Championship Series as Black Machismo Jay Lethal, a character based on Macho Man Randy Savage. This somehow resulted in an X-Division Title shot at Slammiversary 2007.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin has been champion for like five months at this point. Nash comes out for commentary because he’s molded Lethal into Black Machismo recently. Nash’s headset goes out almost immediately after the bell rings and the fans are split. Lethal gets a pretty sweet headscissors to send him to the floor, followed by an ok suicide dive. Sabin spits in Lethal’s face and hits a jumping knee to the face to take over.

Sabin fires off something like a Garvin Stomp but does it fast enough that I don’t have to think of Garvin. The announcers are talking about Nash beating Backlund in MSG. How exactly can you analyze a match that lasted 8 seconds? We go into a standard match formula with Sabin beating Lethal down until we get to the Lethal comeback and then go to the finish.

I’m not sure what it means when you can more or less call the formula for a match about halfway through it, but I don’t think it’s anything good. Lethal makes that comeback with a few hip tosses and a spinning cross body for two. Nash: “This place used to be called Jonesville. Then I got here.” Lethal hits a unique move which can only be described as a reverse fisherman’s suplex into a reverse powerbomb. Looked good but too complicated at the same time.

Sabin takes over with some rapid fire kicks which is what he would get more famous as soon enough in the Motor City Machine Guns. Lethal grabs a full nelson but can’t hit the Lethal Combination. The second time works a bit better and the big elbow gives Lethal his first of I believe six X-Titles.

Rating: C. Just ok here and nothing all that great. Lethal wasn’t exactly over yet and he wouldn’t be for a long time. At this point he was just a goofy 22 year old who did nothing but imitated a much better guy. Nothing to see here but for a big show they needed a title change so that’s all fine and good.

Eventually Kurt Angle would win all of the titles in TNA at one time, meaning he had to defend them all in one night. Lethal got the X-Division Title shot at No Surrender 2007.

X-Division Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jay Lethal

Fans are totally behind Lethal who has about zero chance, which means he’s likely to win. They try some speed stuff to start until Angle wakes up and uses his power and wrestling advantages. Double axe off the top by Lethal gets two. Angle is like boy I’m Kurt Angle and hits a buckle bomb to take over. Dang Angle vs. Savage would have been completely epic.

Down to the mat now and it’s almost all Angle. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Off to a chinlock but Lethal fights up and takes Angle down. Lethal speeds things up and gets an enziguri for two. This is all about Angle with Lethal just being there to fill in a place. HUGE release German changes the control with ease. I love those suplexes Angle throws. They’re things of beauty.

Lethal counters a slam into a DDT for two. He looks like an idiot with his hair going all over the place. He’s far better now and has filled out a bit too. Lethal goes up for the elbow but Angle climbs the ropes to get the suplex for two. Ankle lock goes on for a second but Lethal counters and gets a small package for two. Rolling Germans go on but Lethal kicks out. These near falls are getting very close.

Angle goes for the Slam but Lethal counters with an arm drag. Lethal Combination (sets for a downward spiral but drops the guy forward into his knee and then the downward spiral) gets….nothing as instead he drops the elbow for two. Dude you hit a move with your name in it. It was over!

Angle tries a powerbomb but Lethal reverses and gets a rollup for two. Angle drills him with another German for his trouble. There go the straps but the Slam is reversed. Ankle Lock is reversed into a rollup, and in what is probably the biggest upset in TNA history up to that point (and still one of the biggest ever), Lethal gets the pin and the title. The X-Division guys come out to celebrate as Lethal is shocked that he did that.

Rating: B+. Surprisingly enough this was very good. Something to keep in mind here: Lethal was an X-Division comedy guy and he just got a clean pin on the world champion. This was an excellent example of how you put someone over. Lethal won with a rollup, but he wasn’t dominated at all.

This was back and forth and they looked like equals. That’s how you put someone over: you make them look like they belong in the same ring as you. Just a pin out of nowhere after getting destroyed for ten minutes doesn’t prove anything. This was very good and a rather fun match. Check it out if you’re really bored as it might be Lethal’s best match ever.

After losing the title, Lethal would get a semi-rocket push up the card, landing in a feud where he teamed with the Motor City Machine Guns against Team 3D and Johnny Devine. Here’s one of their shotdowns at Against All Odds 2008.

Jay Lethal/Motor City Machineguns vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine

This is a hardcore street fight and Lethal had been rapidly rising through the ranks recently. I’d expect a showcase match for him here. It seems that any X guy can pin any evildoer to win the title because that’s how wrestling titles are supposed to be right? As expected it starts in the aisle. It’s Lethal vs. Ray on the table. Now those two are in the ring. The other four are off fighting…somewhere.

Lethal in control as the Guns are in the ring now. There’s a sign that says USE MY SIGN. Lethal takes it and it’s a Dead End street sign underneath the paper. Triple plancha by the X guys to take out the heels on the floor in a cool spot. Everyone in the ring now as the X guys have controlled the whole time. Triple Tornado DDT get 2’s all around. Someone brings in the weapons including an inflatable woman. Oh dear.

The kitchen sink is brought in of course because that’s been funny the last 19 times it’s been done right? Another triple cover gets two. The Dudleys get a double suplex on Lethal. The heels take over and the fans want tables. The X Guys take over again for a bit. This is one of those messes of a match which has no flow at all and is just a big fight that goes back and forth.

3D to Sabin and one for Shelley as well. Lethal takes D-Von down but Ray kills him with a clothesline. The fans still want tables. So Cal Val is crying over Lethal. This is before she turned on him I guess. Lethal flips off Ray as Val tries to intervene. Ray grabs her by the hair and whips out a cheese grater. He licks her face for no apparent reason until Lethal can make the save.

Big chair shot to the head of Ray by Lethal but D-Von pulls the referee out just in time. Remember what I said about Lethal doing this on his own? It’s literally 3-1 at this point and Lethal is getting near falls out there. Lethal Combination gets two on Devine and then he gets two on D-Von. He walks into a Bubba Bomb though which somehow only gets two. Dude the Guns have been down what, five minutes now on those 3Ds?

D-Von sets up the tables and the Dudleys are suddenly faces. Lethal fights off the Dudleys again but here’s Devine with that street sign. Jay gets it and pops Devine over the head with it, sending him to the table. Top rope elbow through the table and through Devine saves the X-Division. This match ran twelve and a half minutes and I kid you not it was 3-1 for at least four of those.

Rating: C+. Lethal dominance aside this was ok. The ending is completely absurd and Lethal looks way too good here, but the main issue is that this went on too long. The match was too wild and the first half is very hard to follow. Still though, not bad although I wasn’t bored at all with it. Exciting but not good for the most part, but I think that was the point so I’ll let it slide.

Next up was a feud with Sonjay Dutt over Lethal’s girlfriend So Cal Val. Since Russo used to book TNA, it was time for a gimmick match with a stupid name: a Black Tie Ball and Chain match at Hard Justice 2008. It means they’re in tuxedos and it’s a strap match.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal

Val has her wedding ring here which she didn’t have recently. They’re tied by a chain. Like any good heel, Dutt doesn’t want to put the chain on. While Dutt has his put on him, Lethal slips his off and chains his part to the rope. Lethal gets in some free shots and the tuxedos are making this look stupid. Lethal is in a white tux and Dutt is in black. Nice symbolism no?

Dutt manages to get the chain and slams it into the balls of Lethal. West: “You talk about a chain burn in the wrong place.” Dutt starts ripping off clothes but can’t hit a fist drop with chain wrapped around his fist. Lethal pounds away and rips off a sleeve. That must not be a well made jacket. Lethal throws him over the top and his arm shoots out which looked funny.

Lethal is in total control and Val isn’t happy with him. Dutt has been chained around the post and there goes his jacket and shirt. Scratch that as Dutt manages to get them back on. This is like a board game instead of a wrestling match. Dutt gets a cool move in as Lethal is standing on the floor and has his face on the apron. Dutt slides in and swings his feet around to kick Lethal in the face like a 619.

Jay keeps choking away and Val is freaking. She’s up on the apron begging him to stop and now is throwing her hands up and leaving. Dutt uses the distraction to pull Lethal shoulder first into the post. Lethal is in the Tree of Woe and is down to his pants and cummerbund. Lethal’s family is freaking out (it’s his home state remember). There’s a very light fire Russo chant. Now there’s a loud boring chant.

Dutt tries a springboard move but Lethal whips the chain down to send Dutt flying. That looked pretty cool. Lethal whips him from corner to corner and Dutt is in trouble. Lethal Combination is blocked so Jay hits an inverted powerbomb for two. Dutt gets him in a Stunner position and then jumps backwards, flipping over Lethal’s shoulders and slams his head into the mat. LOUD fire Russo chant now. Dutt tries something off the top but Lethal moves and hits a suplex for two. Lethal Combination hits and the top rope elbow (he’s the Macho Man character) gets the pin. Yes after all that, the clothes meant NOTHING.

Rating: C. The match was ok but the clothes thing got really old really fast. The problem is you already have a gimmick in place with the chain. Having two gimmicks in a single match is too much and it overly complicates things which it did here. Not a bad match but the gimmick got in the way of the match, which is Russo 101 when he’s not on his game.

Lethal would become part of a tag team with Consequences Creed called Lethal Consequences. They would cash in Feast or Fired (TNA’s Money in the Bank) to win the belts three days before Genesis 2009. Here’s a title defense from that PPV.

Tag Titles: Lethal Consequences vs. Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

Abyss has some wicked cool blue fire for his entrance. Morgan and Abyss are arguing apparently lately. This was supposed to be a regular tag match but we threw in another team just for the heck of it. The Boozer Cruiser debuts here. Roode might have a slight knee injury. Very slow to start us off here with Storm and Creed starting us off. That sounds like the opening lineup for a concert.

This is really boring with nothing of note going on about two minutes in. I still don’t get the point in making this a threeway. It just doesn’t help at all as far as I can tell. Everyone beats up Beer Money, which tells me they’ll win. Stereo dive/flip by the champions to take out Beer Money. Morgan and Abyss haven’t done much at all here.

Morgan goes up top and takes out all four of them with a BIG dive off the top. Sweet one. The best team in this misses a double bulldog on Abyss and then do their shot which they haven’t perfected yet. West talks about how great the tag division is and he’s more or less right. The division is indeed better than WWE’s, which isn’t saying much really. Creed takes out Beer Money again which has been a running theme so far.

This is just kind of dragging along here. It’s not particularly bad and the high spots are helping it out, but this just isn’t getting going. Then again it might be that there’s no real drama here. I really would have preferred a standard match as the third team is just cluttering things up out there. Storm has a cowboy hat on now for no apparent reason.

What is the obsession in wrestling with cowboys? There are cowboy characters everywhere and there almost always have been. What is the deal with that? Cowboys are cool I guess but why do we have to have at least one in every promotion? Lethal comes in and cleans some house as Morgan and Abyss stay on the apron for about 80% of the match so far. Morgan saves a pin though.

Lethal can’t hurt Abyss with punches so Abyss grabs him and gives him a chokebreaker which looked sick. It’s a big mess now as everyone goes for their finishers. Roode hits a Blockbuster on Morgan for two again. Belt is tossed in and Abyss misses a shot with it so that Roode can cover him. Since it’s TNA though that’s too simple so we do like three more things and THEN Roode gets the pin on Morgan.

Rating: D. This was ok but sweet goodness it was just boring at times. I still don’t get why they had to have three teams in there. The match was ok but it just never clicked at all. This was more about Morgan and Abyss splitting up which they more or less do after the match, but why did we need Lethal Consequences in there to do that? They were thrown in less than a week before, so what’s the point? Match was just too crowded.

Lethal would start falling down the card soon after this, only being able to get a random six man tag at Sacrifice 2009.

Eric Young/Lethal Consequences vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir/Motor City Machine Guns

Hey look it’s a totally pointless cruiserweight match! The Guns are heels here and have the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles. You know, because two small guys like them could never hold the REAL tag titles right? Bashir is in World Elite at this point and is of course the EVIL Muslim. Young is just Eric Young here and isn’t a coward or crazy etc. His partners are a parody of Savage and Apollo Creed’s idiotic nephew. Sure why not.

We’re 20 seconds into this match and West is already on my nerves. Sabin and Lethal start us off. Rollup by Sabin gets two on Young as the Canadian is in trouble. We talk about the main event because no one cares about these twerps in the ring right? It’s just a bunch of random moves at a slightly faster than average pace. Shelley starts his series of kicks and tags in the Sheik.

I know I’m not saying a lot here but there’s just nothing of note. It’s a six man match with no real rhyme or reason to anything. The match isn’t bad or anything but it’s just a meaningless 15 minute match that goes nowhere and proves nothing. Big old double dive by Creed and Young to pop the crowd pretty well. Diamond Cutter by Sabin takes out Young. There’s a lot of high spots and double team moves going on with tagging being completely forgotten but it’s nothing spectacular. It’s good though.

Creed hits a DDT and Lethal gets two off of it, making one of the funniest faces appear on Lethal’s face. Sabin takes down with a hard spank. I wish I was making that up but it’s TNA so did you expect something else? Bashir hits a move similar to what Kaz was using recently with that Piledriver move on Lethal for two. In our unhyped move of the match, Young gets a Death Valley Driver on both Guns at once. Naturally this is treated like a basic chop because TNA’s announcers have to shout later on about basic moves. A sunset flip from Lethal to Bashir ends it seconds later.

Rating: B-. Fun match but again it’s just random cruiserweight stuff. Definitely good, but at the same time it kind of makes me say so what? Them dropping the whole tagging aspect a few minutes in was definitely the right idea as since this was supposed to be totally insane having them tag would have been dumb. This was a great choice for an opener as the crowd was into it and the faces won.

We’ll jump ahead a little over a year. Lethal would win and lose the X Title a few more times, eventually challenging Robbie E. for the belt on Impact from December 16, 2010.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Robbie E

At least Cookie looks good. Lethal jumps him for a fast start. Cookie trips Lethal seconds into it and his nose slams into the mat. Here comes Christy bouncing down the ramp with a pair of handcuffs to hook herself to Cookie. It’s a new zany comedy coming this Fall! We take a break with Robbie hammering on Lethal in the corner.

Back with Lethal getting a small package for two. Robbie gets a nice Russian leg sweep for two. The girls start fighting at ringside which means Christy beats on her. ReAction starts at 11:30 tonight only. Hopefully that’s a permanent thing. Lethal gets a suplex to take over again. We cut to Christy jumping in excitement. I regain consciousness as Lethal gets a nice top rope elbow for two.

Robbie gets a rollup with the ropes for two but gets caught as he goes up top. Superplex by Lethal has Robbie and the title in big trouble. Cookie tries to slip the spray in to Robbie get it winds up in her own eyes. Lethal Injection gives Jay his 6th title reign at 7:00 shown out of 10:30 total. Jay kisses Christy post match.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here but all the interference and focus on the girls hurt a bit. This wasn’t terrible and Lethal should have the title again. At least we don’t have to see Robbie on TV as much anymore. Pretty good match and the longest Impact match I can remember in awhile.

Lethal would leave TNA soon after this and hit the indies, including a promotion called FWE. Here’s a match from their Meltdown show on May 14, 2011.

Eric Young vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is doing a Jeff Jarrett imitation tonight, though he’s in regular attire. Eric has the original TNA World Title belt with him here as part of a stupid gimmick he was doing in TNA. Before the match, Lethal thanks the fans that have stayed through the long show and promises that he and Young will put on a great show. They start fast by running the ropes and trading leg trips into two counts each for a stalemate.

Back up and they run the ropes a bit more until Lethal hits a Tajiri handspring elbow for two. They hit the ropes even more until a back elbow puts Lethal on the floor. Jay stops again and asks a fan for a coin. Everyone knows he can do a pretty good Macho Man and Ric Flair impression so here’s his plan: if it’s heads he’ll wrestle as Ric Flair but if it’s tails he’ll wrestle as Randy Savage. Young looks at the coin and gets chopped down, setting up the strut from Lethal.

Some right hands put Young down for two and a knee drop gets the same. Young comes back with chops of his own followed by a big clothesline to put Jay on the floor. Eric puts the coin in his pocket in a funny bit. Lethal grabs the mic again and says he’s going to snap into Young and comes back in with a knee to the ribs followed by a top rope ax handle for two. A clothesline puts Young on the apron and he does a Flair strut of his own.

Back in and Jay walks into a running forearm for two but gets his boot up to stop a diving Young. They hold the poses for about 30 seconds with Young standing there as Lethal gets to his feet. Jay puts on some local sports jersey as Young literally lays down for the Macho Elbow and a two count. Eric steals the jersey and this time it’s Lethal laying down for the elbow and two. A superplex puts Jay down but Lethal kicks his legs into the air to tie up Eric’s legs for a pin on Young.

Rating: C-. Eh it’s an indy show so I can give this a break. FWE stands for Family Wrestling Entertainment and a lot of younger fans probably got a kick out of this match. It wasn’t meant to be anything epic andit didn’t come off as such. Lethal was amusing for the most part and Young kept it serious out there save for that standing still bit so it was much more lighthearted than anything else.  THe Jarrett impression didn’t go anywhere.

Lethal would head to ROH soon after this and get into the TV Title hunt. Here he is challenging champion El Generico on ROH TV from October 1, 2011.

TV Title: Jay Lethal vs. El Generico

Well they have a lot of time for this one at least with over 20 minutes to go. And never mind as Kelly tells us there’s a 15 minute time limit. McGuinness wants to know why he’s more tanned than Generico who is from Mexico. Generico speeds things up to take over early. Lethal is like “I can do moves that are flashy but don’t really hurt that much either!” Backbreaker gets two for Lethal but Lethal hooks on some weird surfboard variation with a Texas Cloverleaf leg grip.

Dropkick gets two for Lethal. Generico speeds things up with arm drags and hits a huge swan dive over the top to take Lethal out as we go to a break. Back with Lethal in control after Generico hit a moonsault off the guardrail. Ok scratch that as Generico gets two off something we missed while watching a replay. Lethal gets a sunset flip for two. This isn’t much of a match but indy fans would love it.

They slug it out and Lethal is sent to the top for a missile dropkick. With three minutes remaining in a 15 minute time limit we’re heading for a time limit draw (at the 12 minute mark that is). Lethal Injection gets two. Generico walks the corner and hits most of a tornado DDT for two. There’s a minute left. Blue Thunder Bomb (go play No Mercy for a description) gets two and we have thirty seconds left. Time expires at 12:40 which is including the commercial time.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one as well as I was supposed to I don’t think. There wasn’t much of a story to it other than two not very high fliers doing their thing. It wasn’t bad or anything but it wasn’t this epic confrontation that they were shooting for. Still though, pretty good although the ending is kind of stupid. Oh of course that isn’t the finish.

At 2:54 Jim Cornette comes out and says we have three minutes left in the show so put three minutes on the clock and get to it.

They slug it out like crazy after being all respectful. Generico hits the Yakuza kick and a half nelson suplex for two. Generico loads up the Brainbuster but Lethal escapes and goes up for a top rope elbow but Generico moves and the Brainbuster is blocked again. There’s the elbow for two. A snap suplex sets up a second Yakuza kick but Lethal counters with a superkick and the Lethal Combination (called the Injection here) for the pin and the title at 2:24 of overtime. The overtime was better than the regular match.

Lethal would start a feud with the undefeated Tomomaso Ciampa and face him at Border Wars 2012.

Jay Lethal vs. Tommaso Ciampa

Ciampa is part of the Embassy, a heel stable. He jumps Lethal to start but gets pulled out to the floor for a brawl before the bell. Lethal pounds away on Ciampa but Tommaso comes back with a hard chop to send him against the railing. Ciampa lowers his knee pad and charges at Jay, only to slam his own knee into the barricade. He shakes the pain off though and sends Lethal into the barricade a few times but the fans chant for Kevin Steen for no apparent reason. This is all still before the bell.

Lethal comes back with a catapult to launch Ciampa face first into the entrance to shift control again. Jay finally heads inside with Ciampa down on the floor but one of the Embassy guys breaks up a suicide dive bid. The distraction lets Ciampa get in a quick to Lethal’s head for a two, a few seconds after the bell finally rings. Tommaso chokes away on the apron before putting on a very modified dragon sleeper.

Ciampa pounds away in the corner including going after Lethal’s eye for a bit. This is slowing way down and it’s not exactly entertaining stuff at this point. Apparently Ciampa is undefeated for like two years coming into this. Jay gets in a shot to the head and they slug it out very slowly. You really shouldn’t be at a last man standing slugout just four minutes into a match.

Lethal takes over and Ciampa is in trouble. Again just four minutes into the match, which is too little for being so tired. Yeah they brawled, so maybe it was ten minutes in total to make them that exhausted. As usual, I don’t care for the psychology in Ring of Honor. Lethal has to beat up the other Embassy guys, allowing for Ciampa to hit a lariat for two. Jay counters a sunset flip into a rollup for two of his own before being caught by a HARD knee to the head for a near fall.

Another knee to the head in the corner puts Lethal down and there goes the knee pad for several more knees to the head. Lethal counters a powerbomb into an Alabama Slam into the corner but again has to deal with the Embassy leader. A small package gets two for Ciampa (I think) and now Lethal is getting fired up. He goes off on Ciampa and hits a handspring into the ropes into a cutter, apparently called Lethal Injection, for two.

Yet another Embassy guy (these are just guys in suits and not important enough to identify properly) interferes but Lethal slugs him down and gets two off a top rope elbow. Ciampa tells Lethal to come at him, so Jay hooks him in a Rock Bottom position and drives him down onto Lethal’s knee in ten straight backbreakers followed by a downward spiral for Ciampa’s first loss.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s the entirety of my thoughts on the match. Lethal has never been a guy I’ve cared about at all and Ciampa didn’t show me anything of note here. The ending was just stupid with Ciampa telling him to come for him and Lethal just doing the same move over and over again before getting the win. Also the guys being spent just a few minutes into it still doesn’t work for me at all.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Lethal’s most recent (as of May 2014) big moments. From Supercard of Honor VIII in the culmination of an on again off again two year feud.

TV Title: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jay Lethal

Ciampa is defending and this is 2/3 falls. This is where the fans were getting restless as you could see a lot of them looking at their phones and the chants started to die a bit. Ciampa takes off his knee brace for the first time since his injury in a symbolic move. Feeling out process to start as they trade headlocks and rollups for two each. A hiptoss puts the champion down and Lethal cartwheels over to a standoff.

They chop it out in the corner but Lethal misses a springboard dropkick. Jay kicks him into the barricade and nails a suicide dive followed by a second one for good measure. A third puts Ciampa into the crowd and the fans chant for ROH. Why they don’t chant for Lethal is beyond me, but it’s happened since the ECW days. Lethal is whipped into the barricade and Ciampa hits a running knee so fast that he falls right back into the crowd. The referee restarts the count for no apparent reason before Ciampa throws Jay back inside.

Jay comes back with some kicks to the head and a dropkick in the corner for two until Ciampa bites Jay’s hand to escape. Lethal tries a Tajiri handspring elbow but gets caught in what was supposed to be a Backstabber. They fight over a suplex until they both go over the top in a big crash. Neither guy gets the better of a slugout and they both slide back inside at the 19 count, which didn’t please the fans in my section. Another Tajiri handspring is countered but Lethal grabs a German suplex for the pin and the first fall.

There’s no rest period so gets in a quick shot to the head and they trade near falls. Lethal Combination (backbreaker into a Downward Spiral) sets up a Koji Clutch on the champion but he counters into a Rings of Saturn Crossface. Jay gets his feet into the ropes though and it’s time for another slugout. Again neither guy can get the better of it so Jay tries another Tajiri handspring but gets caught in a Diamond Cutter, which apparently is the finish to the handspring.

Lethal busts out Ciampa’s finisher (powerbomb into double knees to the back) for two but ANOTHER Tajiri handspring hits the referee. Ciampa rolls some Germans and hits a discus lariat to put both guys down. This brings out Truth Martini who throws Jay the knee brace. He nails Ciampa in the face for two before nailing the top rope elbow, only to have Ciampa Hulk Up. Some superkicks have no effect but Lethal FINALLY hits the handspring into the cutter for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be as the second fall could have been cut out to the same result. The ending really didn’t work for me either as Lethal knocked Ciampa out but they did another minute or so, making the entire knee brace thing seem completely worthless. Just too long here, but I’ve never been a Jay Lethal fan in the first place.

Lethal is a case where I just don’t get it. He’s not horrible but I really don’t see why so many people like the guy. Part of it is I see the guy who used to imitate Macho Man and that’s a really hard gimmick to get away from. He just comes across as a guy who shouldn’t be as big a deal as he is, though he’s certainly not bad in the ring.

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It’s Roddy Piper and that’s all the introduction you need.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Roddy Piper

We get a bagpipe recital before the match but Chavo breaks it up. Uncultured pest. They slug it out to start with neither guy moving an inch. A right hand to the face puts Chavo in the ropes and some elbows to the back of the head have him in even more trouble. Guerrero fights back with uppercuts in the corner but has to beat up Piper’s unnamed manager whose name sounds like Dr. Rivera.

Chavo beats him up for a good while and sends him into the corner as Piper is on the floor with an object in his hand. He slips it to the manager but it winds up knocking the referee down, allowing Piper and Rivera to destroy Chavo with what looks like a pipe. Rivera covers Guerrero and Piper counts a pin before Roddy accidentally hits Rivera with the pipe. A second referee comes out but gets shoved down as well as Rivera is back up. Hector Guerrero FINALLY comes out to help his brother as Piper is somehow named the winner. That doesn’t even make bad sense. No rating as the match barely happened but it was wild.

Piper would head north to Portland where he again would become a big star, though this time as a face. His biggest feud was against Buddy Rose and here’s one match between them from May 12, 1979.

Buddy Rose vs. Roddy Piper

This is 2/3 falls with two guest referees, one inside and one outside. Piper is Pacific Northwest Champion but the belt isn’t on the line here. The brawl starts on the floor with Rose being whipped into the barricade. Back in and Piper whips him into the buckles as Rose is begging for mercy on the floor. Buddy slides back in and nails some left hands to almost no effect. Instead it’s off to a chinlock and Piper is busted open somehow.

The fans chant for Roddy as he fights up after two arm drops. Back up and Piper freaks out after seeing his own blood but Rose bites the cut to put him back down. We hit another chinlock and Piper actually goes down as Rose drives a knuckle into his head. Roddy finally scores with a knee to the head but Rose pokes him in the eye to stop him again.

Piper loses it again and nails a series of right hands. A shot to the throat puts Rose down as the recently face Piper still has some heel mannerisms about him. Rose gets hammered in the corner and suplexed down but Piper picks him up at two. A swinging neckbreaker gives Roddy the first fall.

Fall #2 begins after a break and Rose is walking to the back. That goes nowhere as he comes back in with a few seconds to spare and Piper fires off elbows to the head. A hard whip into the corner puts Rose down again and we hit the neck crank from Piper this time. Piper lets go and snaps Rose’s throat across the top rope instead but misses a dropkick in the corner as the turnbuckle breaks.

Rose chokes with the rope before taking him outside to ram Roddy’s back into the post. The crew tries to fix the buckle but the ropes are flying all over the place now. Rose grabs a backbreaker for two but pulls Piper up instead of going for the pin. A second backbreaker is enough for the pin on Piper though to tie things up.

We start the final round with Rose jumping Piper from behind and getting two off an atomic drop. Off to a bearhug on Piper but he fights out with a stiff right hand to the face. Rose backs off but gets beaten down in the corner, only to come back with a headbutt to the ribs. They fight outside with Rose hammering away but Piper takes over with an even bigger beating. A guy named Wisgowski runs out and posts Piper, allowing Rose to try to claim a countout. The other referee doesn’t buy it though and Piper wins by DQ.

Rating: C+. This worked well while it lasted and the double referee makes sense here. These two feuded for over a year in Portland and drew some awesome crowds over how much they hated each other. Rose would be more famous as a comedy guy in the WWF, as well as being in the first match at Wrestlemania.

Piper would head to Jim Crockett and Mid-Atlantic about a year later. After a feud with Ric Flair, Piper would set his sights on Greg Valentine and the US Title. Their most famous match was a dog collar match at Starrcade 1983.

Roddy Piper vs. Greg Valentine

Greg is US Champion but this is non-title because it’s a dog collar match. The idea is they both have collars around their neck and there’s a chain attaching the two collars, meaning neither guy can run away. Anything goes and you can win by pinfall. This match came about because Valentine injured Piper’s ear in the match where he won the title. They immediately start by pulling on the chain with their necks in a painful looking tug of war. Neither guy can get an advantage so they both start pulling on the chain to get closer to each other.

Piper gets in the first shot with the chain and Valentine is mad. They back up again but Valentine misses some swings and Piper gets back to the corner. Both guys come to the center of the ring for a slugout but no one can take over. Roddy gets in some shots with the chain and Valentine is in trouble. Greg goes for the bad ear and start choking away with the chain but also wrapping the chain around Piper’s face for extra torture.

Piper comes back with some shots to the eyes of his own before choking away in the middle of the ring. Valentine is sent into the corner and Piper keeps pounding away on the head. Piper takes it to the floor for some HARD shots with the chain as they head into the barricade. Greg gets in some shots to the bad ear and Piper is bleeding from the side of his head.

Back in and Valentine pounds away but Piper blocks a suplex. A hard elbow gets two for Valentine but Piper is in big trouble. Greg tries to hit the ropes but Piper pulls the chain to bring him down. Piper goes NUTS on Valentine and pounds away on him, busting the champion open in the process. Valentine goes right back to the ear but Piper comes back with some straight left hands to the jaw. A BIG right hand drops Valentine but Greg goes after the ear again to take over. Greg gets two off a knee drop as both guys are tiring.

A chain shot to Piper’s ear gets two but Roddy comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. Greg grabs a quick sleeper but Piper’s arm only drops once. Roddy wraps the chain around his hand but the hold slows him down again. A jawbreaker gets Piper out of the hold but it’s Valentine going up first. Roddy pulls him off the ropes and beats the tar out of him with the chain before tying the legs up to pin Valentine. Solie says that was for the title but corrects himself a few seconds later.

Rating: B+. This is a very hard hitting brawl but it can be a bit slow at times. This is the match that made people realize how insane Piper could be as he went out there and took an insane beating before coming back time after time and trying to hurt Valentine. He would jump to the WWF soon after and become the top villain in the world, which is what he deserved to be.

Piper would be in the WWF very soon after this. His first feud came against Jimmy Snuka, due to Piper breaking a coconut over Snuka’s head. Here’s one of their many matches from MSG on August 25, 1984.

Roddy Piper vs. Jimmy Snuka

Ok, this MUST be better than anything else tonight. I mean, by pure talent alone it has to be. This is just after the coconut attack by Piper so this is a really hot feud. Piper bails to the floor to start (popular move tonight) before coming back in for a hot slugout. Snuka easily chops him down and adds a headbutt for good measure. Piper tries a headbutt of his own and looks like he has a concussion. Roddy goes to the eye instead and pounds away at the head but Jimmy comes back with a chop to send Piper to the floor.

As they come back in, Snuka gets Piper caught up in the ropes and pounds away before hooking a sleeper. Piper gyrates his way out to the floor again and finally breaks the hold. Jimmy rams him into the post and into a chair for good measure to bust Piper open. They head back inside and Roddy looks TERRIFIED. Another headbutt puts Piper down but he counters the top rope cross body and sends Jimmy into the ropes. Snuka falls to the floor and is counted out in record time.

Rating: C+. This was BY FAR the best match of the night so far as it felt like these two wanted to kill each other. Piper charging in to fight Jimmy was a good idea as he looked more crafty than cowardly, which is a nice thing to see given how lame heels are booked in modern wrestling. These two feuded for a long time, with the feud being incorporated into the main event of the first Wrestlemania.

Piper would soon move on to his biggest feud ever with Hulk Hogan. Roddy had attacked pop star Cyndi Lauper with Hogan coming in for the save. This set up the War to Settle the Score in February of 1985.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

We’re on MTV now for the next thirty minutes. Piper does the whole pipe and drums intro thing. Piper wears a Hulkamania shirt and brings in a guitar. Orton has a sling for his arm as the injury is very slow healing already. Bob Costas is doing the ring announcing here to show how big this is. Piper breaks the guitar saying this is what I think of rock and roll.

The place EXPLODES for Hogan and Eye of the Tiger. This really should have been the main event of the first Mania, perhaps with Hogan challenging for the belt. They go right at it to start with Hogan DRILLING in right and Piper collapsing from the force of a whip into the corner. Big elbow drop has Piper reeling early on. A ton of celebrities are here. This really was a huge deal.

Clothesline in the corner gets two as the fans are rabid here. Piper gets the sleeper which is actually a choke. We get two arm drops and Hogan shakes his finger no on the third one to a huge reaction. Hogan rams him into the corner to break it up and here’s Orton for the interference that isn’t seen.

His arm goes into the buckle and Hogan fights back with….left hands? Really? It’s on now and here comes Paul Orndorff to replace the hurt Orton. There goes the referee and Orndorff gets a top rope knee and it’s thrown out somewhere in there. The heels beat down Hogan, and then we get to the REAL reason this show happened: Mr. T. jumps the guard rail and gets in, only to be beaten down as well. Hogan comes up for the save, and ladies and gentlemen, I give you Wrestlemania.

Rating: D+. Match sucked and if you think that means anything then stop reading as you have no business here. The match was simply the backdrop to set up the biggest event in wrestling history (yes Starrcade that includes you) and the show that would make WWF mean something. This would lead to Hogan vs. Orndorff which set up Hogan vs. Heenan which set up Hogan vs. Andre and I think you can see where this could get awesome in a hurry. Bad match, EPIC moment as the WWF had arrived.

They would have another match at the Wrestling Classic.

WWF Title: Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan, in white tights, is jumped by Piper during the music. This is more or less a token title defense here as it’s pretty much fallout (8 months later) from Mania. It’s of course a brawl from the start as nothing else would work for these two I guess. This reminds me of a UK game as it’s blue and white. That automatically makes this awesome. Hogan is dominating early so all is right with the world.

The referee stops a punch though, allowing Piper to punch Hogan. God bless sensible officiating. In something you don’t see often from Hogan, he uses a bearhug. His weight and size was rarely talked about as he was always against monsters, but he was bigger than about 90% of wrestlers ever. That’s saying a lot. This is about as standard as you can get as I feel like I’m watching a house show.

The sleeper is the submission hold of choice here and there’s the arm popping up on the third try. In a cool spot, Hogan runs at the ropes and dives over to break the hold. Yes you read that right, Hogan jumped. I’ll give you a minute to recover from that. Uh oh we have a ref bump. Piper drills him with a chair and of course being hit by a professional athlete with a large and heavy object made of steel isn’t enough to hurt Hogan at all.

Hogan gets Piper in a sleeper (yes you read that right) but Orton runs in for the DQ in another cheap finish. Orndorff makes the save. Gorilla says that Orton was effective. How? He caused his man to get a DQ and therefore it’s the same result as him getting pinned, but then again what do I know?

Rating: C-. This was generic, but then again it wasn’t bad at all. These two had a great chemistry together as there’s such a perfect natural rivalry that you can’t plan or script here. I always wanted for Piper to win the title, even for a month or two. Can you imagine the money that the rematches would draw? Heck that would have been FAR better as the main event of Mania 2. Anyway, this wasn’t bad or great, but it was more bad than good because of the ending.

No real reason for this one but it’s Piper being a jerk as always, culminating in a match between Jesse Ventura/Piper/Orton and the Hillbillies.

Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim

Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.

Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.

Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. This just didn’t work and felt weak, but that’s part of the problem with the hillbillies in general: they’re nothing but comedy characters and putting them in a match like this isn’t going to lead anywhere.

Piper would leave to make They Live soon after this. He came back to find that the Pit had been replaced by the Flower Shop, and that meant he was out of bubble gum. From Wrestlemania III in Piper’s retirement match.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

The loser gets their hair cut and is probably the third biggest match on the show if not the second biggest. Piper walks to the ring instead of taking the cart to soak everything in a little bit more. The fans go NUTS for Piper who is still somewhat freshly face. Adonis is rather plump here, giving us a great line from Jesse: “We’re either going to have a bald Scot or Humpty Dumpty.” Piper takes off his belt and they whip each other a few times with Adonis taking over.

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Now it’s Adonis in control as they head to the floor. Piper gets sent into the announce table and Jimmy adds a spray of perfume into his eyes. There’s Adrian’s sleeper (Good Night Irene) and Piper is almost out, but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Brutus Beefcake runs out to wake Piper up and after a missed clipper shot from Adonis, Piper puts him in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: C+. This was the exact kind of wild brawl that you would expect it to be. The ending was the right move as Adonis had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it made sense given the haircut stuff. This is the right way for Roddy to go out though and the fans were way into it. Fun stuff here.

Piper would actually leave the ring for over two years, eventually coming back in late 1989. He and Bad News Brown eliminated each other from the 1990 Royal Rumble, setting up a bizarre match at Wrestlemania VI. In what I think was some kind of a nod to Michael Jackson, Piper came into the match with half of his body painted black. It didn’t make sense but it was certainly memorable.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

An interesting point here is that both guys are legit black belts in judo with Brown being an Olympic bronze medalist in the sport. They immediately take it to the mat in a fist fight until Piper gets two off a cross body of all things. The referee (former heel wrestler Danny Davis) keeps separating them so Brown takes over by sending Piper’s head into the buckle. He yells at Piper for trying to be black and it’s off to a nerve hold.

Brown slugs him down a few times and drops an elbow for two. Somewhere in there a buckle pad is ripped off and it’s Brown going chest first into said buckle. Piper pulls out a single white glove (Brown wore a single black one) and a bunch of punches send Brown to the floor. Piper swings a chair but hits the post and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D. Instead of a brawl or something entertaining, this was much more of a bizarre spectacle than anything else. Brown would be gone soon after this while Piper would shift into the broadcast booth to take over for Jesse. The fight was a lot weaker because of how much stuff there was to distract from the action which is never a good thing.

Piper wrestled very sparingly for awhile as he did commentary for the second half of 1990 and injured his knee in a motorcycle crash. After squashing some jobbers in late 1991, he earned an Intercontinental Title shot at Royal Rumble 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper slowly removes his kilt and Mountie cracks jokes. When the champ turns his head, Piper shoves the kilt in his face and takes over quickly. We head to the floor with Mountie quickly reeling. Back in the ring and Mountie chokes a bit before getting punched in the face. A very delayed bulldog puts Mountie down and Piper easily wins a slugout. He misses a dropkick though and Mountie puts on a half nelson. A jumping back elbow gets two for Mountie as does a sunset flip for Piper. Piper atomic drops him to the apron but Mountie skins the cat. He also collides with Jimmy Hart and the sleeper gives Piper the title.

Rating: D. The match itself sucked but there was never any doubt about this match at all. Mountie is about as textbook a definition of a transitional champion as you’ll ever see and the place went NUTS when Piper won the title. This would be Piper’s only singles title in the WWF and his only title period (other than those before he got to the WWF in the first place) until he won the US Title in WCW for less than two weeks.

Roddy would basically retire again for several years after this, before eventually becoming the WWF President. That didn’t last long either though as he debuted at Halloween Havoc 1996 and had a match against Hogan at Starrcade 1996.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

The whole idea is that Hogan has never definitively beating Piper one on one. Hogan has a fleet of people with him here but he still wants time out before we get going. He’s already on the floor before the bell rings and it’s time to stall. After a minute of waiting on the floor he heads back inside for a lockup and takes Piper into the corner. Piper shoves him into the other corner and finally fires off some right hands, sending Hogan out to the floor and up the aisle. Back in and Hogan pounds away as this is very dull stuff so far.

Hogan throws a lot of punches but Piper comes back with a thumb to the eye and a clothesline. Hollywood heads to the floor and it’s time for more stalling. Back in for a main event headlock which Piper uses to drag Hogan down to the mat. Hogan finally knocks him out to the floor for more brawling, which means single right hands knocking Piper three feet backwards.

They head back in with Piper punching him down again as we head to the floor for the fifth time or so. Piper rams him into the barricade over and over before whipping Hogan in the back with a belt. Back in and Piper slams him down, only to be tripped by Ted DiBiase, meaning WE GO OUTSIDE AGAIN. Hogan knocks Piper into the crowd for a second as this is REALLY boring so far. Back in yet again and Hogan kicks away at Piper’s recently replaced hip before putting on an abdominal stretch.

Piper fights out of it and pounds him in the head before getting two off a small package. They slug it out a bit and Tony is thrilled by this for some reason. Piper hooks a suplex and you would think he had just reinvented sliced bread. Time for more laying around but Hogan misses his legdrop.

Piper gets up and hops on one foot (what was with that???) and here’s Giant for the save. He picks up Piper for the chokeslam but after holding him in the air for seventeen seconds (including Hogan having to stop a fan from running in), Piper kicks Hogan down and bites Giant to escape the hold. Piper shoves Giant to the floor and puts Hogan in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: F. For the main event of the biggest show of the year, this was awful. For a match in general, this was a disaster. The fans didn’t react at all until the end and even then it was NOTHING compared to the pop when Luger beat Giant. It was clear that neither guy was capable of working a match this long with no one to help them and it made for a terrible ending to the show.

WCW goes nuts for Piper and the NWO runs in to beat down Piper. He fights them off and bails before Giant and Hogan are furious with each other. Giant asks Hogan where he was when he needed Hogan. Oh by the way: this wasn’t for the title. WCW never said it was but never said that it wasn’t either, correctly assuming that fans would think the main event of the biggest show of the year was a title match.

We’ll jump ahead again as 1997 and 1998 didn’t have much for Piper. Those years were spent either in matches about respect or bringing up his rivalry with Hogan that no one wanted to see in the late 90s. Instead here’s a match from Slamboree 1999 as Piper and Flair are fighting for the presidency of WCW because Flair is insane.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

The winner is the president. Before things get going, referee Johnny Boone is fired and Charles Robinson replaces him. Flair runs his mouth and gets slapped to get us going. Piper knocks him to the floor and let’s take a break after that. He boxes Flair, seemingly hitting him in the chest and neck, but Flair falls anyway. He hits a low blow to take over and Robinson yells at Piper for choking.

Flair yells at Anderson to beat on Piper when he throws him outside. Flair throws Piper outside and Anderson beats on him. Asya comes in for a low blow and this is about as far from serious as you could want it to be. Flair chops away in the corner and Piper chops back. Robinson cheats on a cover and says Flair keeps getting his shoulder up. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and they go to the outside.

Piper rams Flair’s head into Flair’s arm but we’ll say it was the post anyway. Back in the ring they ram heads and both guys are down. After about 2 seconds of leg softening here’s the Figure Four. Piper tries a sunset flip and there go the trunks. He hooks Flair in the Figure Four and Flair screams that he gives up but Robinson ignores it. Anderson breaks it up but gets thrown in a sleeper. Now Flair in the sleeper. Asya runs in and gets kissed and put in a sleeper as well. The referee gets decked and Flair hits Piper with an illegal object for the pin.

Rating: The chipmunk has pneumonia. I better take him to the embassy before he deletes the remote control of reality and I run out of apple juice. If he does that, there will be a great and mighty feast in the great archway of the flippyflook.

And that was more logical than putting this match on PPV. But wait: there’s more.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who hasn’t been seen in awhile and has no authority whatsoever in this company. He says Piper is the winner and that Flair can bite him. Somehow this stands. Eric and Piper hug to a face pop (intentional I’d assume but who knows with this company?) and Piper fires Flair. Just….yeah.

Thankfully we’ll get out of WCW after that as Piper entered into another retirement, only to return at Wrestlemania XIX to reignite his feud with Hogan. They would meet at Judgment Day 2003. Er, actually it was Mr. America but whatever.

Mr. America vs. Roddy Piper

Get this over with. FAST. Sean O’Haire is with Piper here and Gowen is with Hogan. The joke is an old one here but still kind of funny. Piper, in regular trunks, jumps Hogan along with O’Haire to take over early. O’Haire, in wrestling gear for no apparent reason, hammers away on Hogan a bit too. Here comes Mr. America with the “24 inch Patriots” and the beating is on.

Out to the floor and Hogan chokes O’Haire with the weight belt. Hogan whips Piper with it a bit as we haven’t had a single wrestling move other than a punch or whip in this whole thing. Sleeper goes on and it’s AWFUL. Piper is almost poking him in the eyes. Hogan fights that off and gets taken down by an axe handle to the back. American hammers away again and it’s Vince to the rescue! Low blow by Piper but a pipe shot from O’Haire hits Piper and the leg drop ends it. Gowen kept Vince from saving it.

Rating: F+. Why in the world is Roddy Piper in trunks in a featured match on PPV in 2003? Hogan….eh I guess you can stretch to let that be here, but put him against O’Haire and let HIM get the rub. He was a cool character and he gets fed to Hogan instead of growing a bit. That’s the criticism you get for Hogan and at times it makes sense. Granted this one isn’t Hogan’s fault, but it’s the stereotype of him. This one is on the company though.

Piper would be gone again but would come back in 2006 to team up with Flair in an effort to teach the Spirit Squad respect. From Cyber Sunday 2006.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

We’ll wrap it up with a match from Raw on June 13, 2006.

Roddy Piper vs. The Miz

Piper is in tights and a t-shirt while Miz is in street clothes.  Miz hammers away and Piper gets a sleeper.  Riley pulls him off and here they go.  Piper grabs a schoolboy for the pin at 1:06.

Oh come on it’s Roddy Piper. He could have an entertaining match in the ring if given the chance but his greatest glory came on the microphone. Piper is one of the best talkers of all time and there’s a case to be made that he’s the best ever. Yeah he thinks a bit too highly of himself, but to suggest he’s anything but outstanding is ridiculous.

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Today’s wrestler stayed active for a ridiculous amount of time and completely changed his character over time: George Steele.

Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele

Gorilla Monsoon, the host of the tape this is from, says this is from sometime in the 60s but isn’t sure exactly when. That would likely be because it’s from the 1970s but he’s close enough. Back then Steele was a top heel so this would have been a big time fight. The cage is weird looking as it’s more or less wire walls rather than a traditional cage. Steele has riot gear police officers bring him out. This is still escape rules. Naturally the commentary is from the 80s rather than back in the day as there likely wasn’t commentary done for this originally.

This is clipped to an extent. Bruno hammers him as this is probably the culmination of what was a major feud. Steele looks identical to what he would for the rest of his career. Steele actually gets a low blow before eating a turnbuckle. He rubs the stuffing into Bruno’s eyes which blinds him but George won’t just leave. Apparently Styrofoam stuffing is blinding. This is in Philadelphia according to Monsoon.

Bruno gets rocked by Steele for a good while as the camera and lighting is really different here but of course at the time no one knew what to do from a production standpoint as this was a very new idea back then. Bruno Hulks Up as Steele pounds away and then runs as Bruno can’t be hurt. Sammartino destroys him by ramming him into the cage a bunch and then climbs out.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but seeing something from this far back in time is always cool. Steele didn’t change a bit in about twenty years and was still completely awesome the whole time. This was a pretty ok match but the clipping didn’t help. Bruno was completely awesome in cages and this worked ok but at six minutes shown, how into a cage match can you get?

Steele would continue getting title shots for years, including this one against Pedro Morales on June 30, 1973.

Pedro Morales vs. George Steele

This was back when Steele was still able to speak like a human. He looks almost exactly the same as he did in the 80s and 90s. Steele tries to jump Pedro to start but gets thrown into the corner and out to the floor by the champion. Back in and Steele gets in a shot to the ribs with a foreign object to put Morales in deep trouble. Another shot with the object has Pedro reeling. There’s a slam and a third shot, this one to the throat, has Pedro writhing in pain on the mat.

Morales comes back with some lefts as Steele tries to hide the object. They circle each other for a bit until the champion puts him down with an armdrag. Steele tries to hide in the corner but with a chest like that (covered with hair) it’s kind of hard to hide. The challenger goes to the floor for a bit before coming back in and knocking Pedro out to the apron. Morales is rammed into the turnbuckle and falls to the apron.

As Steele tries to ram Pedro’s head in, the champion slips in a left hand and sends Steele into two turnbuckles. I’m not skipping stuff in between here either. The action really is that slow. Now it’s George on the apron with Morales pounding away at his bald head. The champion takes a big bite out of Steel’s forehead before pounding away at it even more. The beating is so bad that the referee stops the match, awarding the win to Pedro due to the blood on Steele’s forehead.

Rating: D. This was a pretty lame match with not a lot of action in it at all. Steele was a game challenger but the foreign object bit comes off as dated now. The blood flow wasn’t even all that strong and it made for a weak ending for the match. On the good side though, Pedro got a great reaction from the crowd and it was clear that he was a strong champion.

We’re going to jump WAY ahead here as Steele would only appear on occasion. Actually we’re going to jump all the way to August 10, 1984 as Steele has become his trademark wildman persona and is again challenge for the title, this time against Hulk Hogan.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. George Steele

Steele has Fuji in his corner and Hogan is in the rare blue trunks tonight. Steele flails around the ring to start but Hogan does the same thing, sending the Animal to the floor. That’s fine with the champion who follows him out and goes to work but let’s stop to look at the fans for some reason. Inside again and Steele backpedals as the match stops cold. Steele finally goes to the eyes to take over before raking at the face some more.

Hogan comes back with some biting of the face but Steele hits him in the throat with a foreign object. Another shot with the object has Hogan in big trouble and Steele stomps away at the arm. We hit an armbar (to set up Steele’s flying hammerlock finisher) on Hogan but Steele lets go for consultation with Fuji. It’s Hulk Up time and Steele’s shots have no effect. A big back elbow puts George down but Fuji breaks up the legdrop attempt. Hogan goes after Fuji and gets salt thrown in his face, sending him to the floor for a countout.

Rating: C-. This was your standard match to set up a rematch while keeping Hogan looking strong. That’s fine all around though as it was still early in Hogan’s reign and he needed to get some big wins when it was in doubt to keep things interesting. The fans went nuts on Steele for his cheating and that’s the exact idea.

And then there was a rematch with some seconds added. Let’s get this over with. From 16 days later.

Hulk Hogan/Gene Okerlund vs. Mr. Fuji/George Steele

August of 84 in Minneapolis. This is when Fuji still wrestled on occasion so he’s not horrible. It’s all Hogan for the most part of course and by that I mean he wrestles most of the match. Gene in trunks and no shirt is something I NEVER need to see again. Clipped to Steele cheating and taking over on Hogan. Hogan sends him to the floor and struts a bit. Gene high fives Hulk and that counts as a tag. Gene, ever the idiot, tries his luck with Gene….and then dives through George’s legs for the tag. That’s better.

Clipped again to Hulk pounding on Fuji. Fuji tries to throw some salt but Hogan messes that up. Gene puts a knee into Fuji (or something like that) and then Hogan slams Gene onto Fuji for the pin. Yeah I think we all knew that was the ending that was coming here. Gene gets to kick both guys post match.

Rating: D+. Ok yes it’s bad, but at the same time what were you expecting here? I mean, you have to keep in mind what you’re watching when you look at something like this. It’s not going to be a masterpiece and yes it’s very bad, but you have to give it a big bit of slack as there’s a manager and an interviewer out there.

Steele would drop down to the midcard soon after this, including appearing in the first match ever on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (great DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

Steele would turn face after the match and stay that way for the rest of his career. He would soon start a LONG against with Randy Savage with the first major match taking place at SNME #4.

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

This is about a month and a half before Savage won the IC Title and held it for over a year, losing it to Steamboat at Mania 3 when Steele helped him win it. You could argue that this is the first match in a year and 3 month long feud. We get some chasing outside on the floor and then he eats a turnbuckle. A double axehandle…gets the pin. Ok then.

Rating: N/A. Total comedy match and a bad one. This got them nearly a year and a half. WOW.

There was a rematch for Savage’s Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania II.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).

The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.

Steele would become Hulk’s buddy of the week for a tag team match on August 9, 1986.

George Steele/Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage/Adrian Adonis

This is going to be a comedy match I’d assume. Steele tries to bite Adrian after their entrance before we get going. He also rips his shirt off ala Hogan in a funny for some reason bit. Hogan eats a turnbuckle and everything is insane. We finally get down to a match with Steele vs. Savage in the ultra rare dark red boots and tights.

Savage runs to the floor and Hogan scares him right back in. Back to the floor again as you can see that Savage cut his teeth in Memphis. That’s pure old school Lawler/Jarrett stuff and it works very well. We shift off to Hogan vs. Adonis with the ring covered in the turnbuckle stuffing. Corner clothesline to Adonis and it all breaks down again. Adonis is kind of crotched on the railing outside but it kind of missed.

Back in and it’s Hogan with a big boot to Adonis but he makes a blind tag to bring in Savage. Hogan beats up Savage too because he can and it’s off to Steele. Steele is sent into the corner and Adrian hammers away on him. Off to Savage who does exactly the same. He tries a sleeper but Steele bites his arm instead. Off to Hogan and Adonis with Adonis hitting a suplex for two.

Another suplex hits for the same result. According to Hayes ONLY Hogan could kick out of that. Sweet goodness did they suck up to him way too much. Sleeper, Adonis’ finisher, goes on until Adonis just drops him and throws down Hogan. Middle rope splash eats knees and it’s off to Savage. Everything breaks down again and Savage accidently backdrops Adonis and the leg drop ends him.

Rating: C. Just a glorified comedy match for a house show main event. Not a thing wrong with that as the whole thing worked for its purpose. The fans loved it and we got some slightly funny spots out of it also. What more can you ask for from a match with Adrian Adonis and George Steele in it?

Back to Savage for a match at SNME #9, but this set up something bigger.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Vince wanted Liz like no other. To be fair she does look great here. George again says he has a surprise and comes out with an action figure of himself. He gives it to Liz but Savage takes it and throws it down. Soon thereafter he’s flying through the air as Steele throws him all over the place. Savage comes back and sets for the elbow but some music hits and the roof gets blown off. RICKY FREAKING STEAMBOAT makes his return and stares down Savage. Macho loses his mind and no one can get Steamboat back. Steele gets the advantage as they finally get Ricky back to the locker room.

Steele kidnaps Liz and carries her away before he finally comes back. A buckle gets ripped open which was always a weird thing. Vince: “He’s only salivating on him.” It was a different time I guess. Steele bites his arm a bunch of times for some reason as Jesse asks why isn’t he being better fed. Savage gets hit by a foreign object but clocks Steele with the bell to retain. A post match beatdown is attempted but Steamboat comes down for the save.

Rating: D+. Match was a glorified comedy match but most of the encounters for these two were. The main thing here obviously is that it set up Savage vs. Steamboat in the legendary showdown at Mania III. Back in the day they built up shows from a far longer away time which made them feel more epic. That and Mania was the only PPV of the year so it really was the huge show to build up to.

We’ll go with one more SNME match so Steele can get a win. From SNME #13.

Danny Davis vs. George Steele

Davis was the referee that went heel and became a bad wrestler with an interesting gimmick. Steele is way over and Davis is way hated. This should be decent from a crowd perspective. The wrestling will suck though. Davis tries to sneak up on Steele and he does a SWEET jumping reverse drop toehold. That’s the best description I can give it but he did it without turning around. It was awesome. Let’s go with that.

That was what was great about Steele’s character: he was the original Eugene more or less. There was a freaking hilarious bit on Tuesday Night Titans once where he got electrocuted and started talking like a normal person for a few seconds and then another shock turned him back into his usual self.

It was better if you saw it I guess. Davis has a foreign object and it gives him the advantage. Steele gets the flying hammerlock (don’t ask) off a missed punch and Davis kicks the referee for the odd DQ. Why not just give Steele the submission? I don’t get that but for a four minute match to end an incident from six months ago I can’t blame them that much.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t supposed to be serious so I’ll go easy on it. You simply can’t grade every match the same and I try not to in cases like this, although that doesn’t always work. This was fine for what it was as Davis cheated to get the limited offense in that he could, but at the same time he got caught and everyone was happy in the end.

Steele would retire a littler over a year later due to his Crohn’s Disease but would come back for a few occasional appearances. One of those was at Heroes of Wrestling.

Greg Valentine vs. George Steele

Valentine says he’s the son of the legend Johnny Valentine. That’s an old school idea which was done with guys like Shane Douglas as Paul Orndorff’s nephew and Bruno Sammartino had a “cousin” as well. He says he’ll leave with Sherri tonight whether she likes it or not. Seriously, this is some very basic but great heel stuff tonight and it’s making things a lot better than they have any right to be.

Sherri comes out with Steele as she’s already standing by her man. George looks exactly like he did over 20 years before this, as does Valentine. That’s quite the testament to their training regimens. Valentine hits the floor and goes after Sherri like any good heel going after the weaker person. Randy keeps things simple by saying it’s stalking. Sounds like a reason for Steele to stand up and stop Valentine if you ask me. George eats a turnbuckle and you can practically see Sherri’s eyebrows go up.

Steele bites Greg’s arm which is probably a bit more nutritious. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Sherri isn’t looking bad here. Back inside and George tries to take his shirt off but Valentine jumps him with the shirt over his head, almost like a cheating hockey player. Now we get to the climax of the match as Sherri turns on Steele and helps Valentine, playing up on George’s stupidity as he won’t be able to see her and will think it’s one of Valentine’s friends.

Back up and with the shirt off, Valentine pulls out a foreign object to get in a cheap shot and keep his control. We’re hitting all of the 80s high spots here and the crowd is reacting to it exactly as they should be. Dutch has gotten up to try and talk some sense into Sherri which might be going a bit too far. Do your job Dutch. The talk doesn’t even work as Sherri gets in a chair shot to give Valentine the pin.

Rating: D+. Not as good of a match here but they hit everything the needed to hit. Steele was a great choice of a sympathetic face, much like Kane with Tori over in the WWF around this time. You wanted to see him succeed and they did a great job of having everyone else involved screw with him and set up a rematch later on.

Steele would also appear on Nitro on January 10, 2000 as a special legend to face Jeff Jarrett that night.

George Steele vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning anything goes. Chris Benoit is guest referee to continue his feud with Jarrett. Steele brings out a dumpster full of weapons with him but Jeff sidesteps most of them. Animal finally connects with a trashcan shot to the head and a second one sends Jeff to the floor. While George eats a turnbuckle, the Old Age Outlaws (seriously) sneak up on Jarrett. They’re a bit late as Jeff blasts Steele with the guitar, only to walk into an Arn Anderson spinebuster. Steele is put on top for the easy pin.

George Steele was, shall we say, an interesting one. He was far better known for his character than his in ring work and there’s nothing wrong with that. Steele wrestled for a very long time and only retired because of his illness. No his matches weren’t all that great, but he scared me to death as a kid and that’s what a guy like him was supposed to do. Well at least when he was a heel. Still though, he was a likeable guy if you were old enough to not be terrified by him and that’s a valuable asset to have. Also the shock therapy segment his hilarious if you have time to look it up.

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