Simple question: what is your favorite wrestling theme song?For me it’s Real American.  The song immediately tells you almost everything  you need to know about Hogan.  We get the American aspect and that he’ll never quit.  With today’s rock music for almost everyone, it’s hard to explain anything about them and it takes a lot away from them.

Your picks?

I’ve wanted to do this for a long time and with the cage match on Smackdown this past week and the now annual Hell in a Cell PPV coming up soon it seemed like as good a time as any.

In short, gimmick matches are dying a slow death because they’ve lost almost all of their meaning. Let’s take a look back through time and I’ll show you what I’m talking about.

Let’s begin in the year 1980. Larry Zbyszko turned heel on his mentor Bruno Sammartino by leaving him laying in the middle of the ring after a chair shot. Throughout the rest of the year the two feuded around the northeast before they wound up in front of 36,000 people in Shea Stadium in a cage match, arguably the most famous of all time up to that point (Snuka vs. Muraco was three years later). Cage matches were always about the ending of a feud and would happen after a lot of regular matches weren’t enough to have a finish. These two had feuded for eight months and it lead them here, for the ultimate blowoff. After Larry controlled most of the match, Bruno made a comeback, beat Larry to a bloody pulp, kicked him in the head one last time and walked out to win the match.

Now let’s take a lok at a few things here and see why they made this a great match not only for the time but for all time. First and foremost, there was a great build to it. These guys had feuded all year and there was a reason for it: the student thought he had surpassed the teacher and tried to show he was better and now the teacher wanted revenge for being beaten. Second, it was violent. Larry and Bruno were both bleeding by the end of the match and the final kick to the head is a hard one, signifying that this is over in a brutal way.

Finally, and most importantly, Bruno didn’t pin him but rather left him laying and left. This means a lot more than a simple pin. You can get a pin on a fluke rollup. Bruno beat Larry so badly that Larry wasn’t able to get up and stop Bruno from walking across the cage and out of the door. It’s very symbolic too: one man, the better man, was able to leave the cage while the other was still inside. It gives a feeling of one man being better rather than one man simply pinning the other. We reach a new level of victory and defeat which is what should happen in a match with amplified brutality.

Flash forward with me now to July 4, 1987 and the first of the WarGames matches (trivia note: there were actually 27 WarGames matches (not counting the stupid 98 or 2000 versions). Only 8 of them aired on VHS or PPV. The rest, as in 19 of them, were all at house shows. Think that might draw a crowd today?). The idea is simple: it’s the ultimate in team warfare with originally five men per side (one each was a manager) and you enter at timed intervals. The only way to win was by submission and it was by nature incredibly violent and a bloodbath, especially the 1992 version which for my money is the definitive WarGames match. (If you haven’t seen a WarGames match, check out the first, the 1991 or the 1992 versions. The rest tend to suck and suck hard.) In short, more blood, more violence, more fun.

We now move forward to 1997. The Undertaker has lost the world title to Bret Hart at Summerslam 1997 due to a missed chair shot from Shawn Michaels. In short, the dead man isn’t happy and he wants to take out that anger on Shawn Michaels. Their first major match after this was at In Your House: Ground Zero which was the definition of a war. The referee was knocked out seconds into the match and Shawn tried to run.

The bell didn’t ring for 9 minutes after they started brawling and a total of five referees were used until it was finally thrown out. It took over 15 guys to stop Taker from killing Shawn until he debuted the Taker Dive and nearly destroyed him. This was about hatred and vengeance but Undertaker couldn’t get a clean shot at Shawn due to the constant interferences by DX and the annoying rules that say you can’t kill him. They offered a cage match but Shawn said something like “I’ve done cage matches. Don’t you have anything else?”

Enter Hell in a Cell, the mother of all gimmick matches. If you’ve somehow never seen one, it’s a massive cage that engulfs the ring, allowing room around it on the floor to walk on. The idea was simple: Shawn was entering a nightmare and had to face the Undertaker inside of it. What followed was thirty minutes of bloodshed, violence, brutality, Shawn running away and nothing being able to stop the Undertaker. The match is an undeniable classic and is one of the most violent matches you’ll ever see in a wrestling ring.

Flash forward about 9 months to King of the Ring and the second (important) Hell in a Cell match, this time involving the Undertaker and Mankind. These two had feuded on and off for two years, involving all kinds of brutal fights and betrayals all around. This was a new take on the Cell, in that instead of being trapped inside it was there to attempt to contain the violence. Much like the old cage matches, the idea was to have one person enter and one person leave.

The match began on the roof of the Cell and a few minutes in, Mankind went flying off the top in probably the most repeated clip in company history. Some people fairly believed he may be dead. That of course didn’t end the match as they went back up to the top of the cage and Mankind was chokeslammed through the top, having a chair fall through and hit him on the way down. They somehow managed almost ten more minutes of brutality involving chairs and thumbtacks. In the dressing room after the match, Foley asked Undertaker if he got to use the tacks. Taker told Foley to look at his arm which was full of them.

This gives you two working http://onhealthy.net/product-category/antifungals/ definitions of what the Cell can be used for: we have either the idea of trapping someone in it or the ultimate in brutality. Those were the original two matches and there was a logical story behind both of them. And then it all fell apart. Following those two matches, the vast majority of Hell in a Cell matches were put on for the sake of a cage match and not having anywhere near as solid of a story behind them or time to build up to them. In 2009 WWE began airing the Hell in a Cell PPV, which we’ll get to later on in this.

On the other side of the gimmick spectrum, we have the ladder match. Beginning in 1972 (yes 1972 in Canada), the idea was that you have something, usually a title, put above the ring and the only way to get it is by climbing up a ladder. We’ll skip ahead 22 years to the first well known ladder match at Wrestlemania X between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon (yes I know about the 92 one with Shawn vs. Bret). The idea was that Shawn had been suspended while Intercontinental Champion. Ramon had won the vacant title but Shawn came back with the original belt, claiming to be champion. The answer to the problem: put both belts above the ring and let the first person to grab them be declared undisputed champion.

The match is a well known classic that I’m sure most of you have seen at least once. It’s brutal, filled with drama, still a classic and is considered one of the best matches ever. The key to it though was that there was a story behind it and the match was more about showcasing their abilities rather than the brutality in the match. This is far different than what is usually seen in cage matches as it’s designed for smaller and lighter guys who can use the ladders for better and more spectacular moves.

There was a rematch a year and a half later and then there wasn’t a televised ladder match for over three years. After a classic one (also at Summerslam in Madison Square Garden between HHH and Rock) the floodgates began to open. After one in three years, the next ladder match was three months later. The one after that was only two and a half months later in February of 99. Since then there has been two years, 2004 and 2008, that didn’t have at least two ladder matches in a single year (2006 had four ladder matches, all after August 14 or about one every 40 days). This isn’t counting TLC matches or MITB matches. After having six from 1992 – 1998 (less than one a year), counting three on house shows there have been a total of 36 since, or 3 a year (again not counting MITB or TLC).

If you think that’s bad, TNA is even worse. Not counting King of the Mountain, TNA has had 35 in 9 years or almost four a year. For those curious, WCW’s first was in January 1997 and they had ten total with the last coming in December of 2000, or approximately 2.5 a year.

All of these stats hold true for almost any gimmick match you prefer: last man standing, hardcore/street fight, Ultimate X (26 of those in 9 years or about one every 4 months), TLC matches, MITB matches and I could go on and on. The problem in short is that gimmick matches have become so watered down and overused that they almost mean nothing anymore. A gimmick match is designed to be special and rare, not something you have three or four of a year. It’s the concept of absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Today we have a Hell in a Cell PPV, a MITB PPV, a TLC PPV, an Elimination Chamber PPV and a PPV called Extreme Rules which is all gimmick matches. In July, TNA threw an Ultimate X match on TV with no hype, no build and no particular reason for the match. WWE does this as well, such as with the cage match between Chrstian and Alberto Del Rio a few months ago on Smackdown. Jeff Hardy and when he was still active Edge would have TLC matches or ladder matches simply because they were known for having such matches. The matches sometimes are good, but there’s no reason to get involved in the matches as fans or to be excited going into them. With the right kind of build, these matches can be far more exciting than they currently are.

Anymore the gimmick matches happen because the calendars call for it. Look at the current feuds in WWE and other than maybe Orton vs. Christian, is there anything that seems like it would fit in the Cell? HHH vs. Punk maybe, but it’s not like a single PPV match and a bunch of talking validates going into the Cell. With Orton vs. Christian, Orton has dominated Christian so much that putting them in the Cell to have him do it again would miss the point of the match entirely. There’s not really a valid reason to put Cena and Punk in the Cell either. Violence isn’t what fits those two as it’s been more of a “can you top this” feud, making last man standing or iron man more appropriate stipulations.

In summation, gimmick matches mean a lot less now because they’ve been done too often. We don’t see great cage matches or last man standing matches or ladder matches anymore because we see them so often that they don’t have the same pop to them. The schedule making the gimmicks instead of the feuds making the gimmicks also cripples things, as there’s no way for the feuds to end in a major gimmick match as we can’t have Hell in a Cell in say June because the Hell in a Cell PPV is in October. Until these changes are made, gimmick matches will become more and more worthless every year, meaning more and more will be thrown on the cards until they lose the value they have already. It’s another one of those things that Russo put into place and it’s hurting business more and more every day.

I figured I’d start doing some more editorial style stuff around here so here’s the first one of them.

This is something I’ve been noticing a lot of lately. So often anymore I read about or hear about how much a crowd sucks and they’re killing a show. When I was in college I was taught how to think as well as how to see patterns in things. When I hear people saying over and over again that “this crowd sucks” or “these fans are killing this show”, it occurs to me that the crowd is different every week. What is the same every week is the product in front of them.

The WWE is something that doesn’t come to town all that often. I live in Lexington and I see the show here live about once or twice a year, usually in the very early part of the year and then in the mid to late summer. I haven’t missed a show in my town in years and almost every time I’ve put my money on the table to see a show. I sit in my seat with a container of nachos and an over priced Sprite and I watch the show. That seat is mine and I have paid for it for the night.

Over the course of about three hours, the WWE does their best to entertain me. If I’m entertained I’ll react to it, but if I’m not then I’m not going to react to it. I’ve sat through some of the most boring, uninteresting, mind numbing matches you’ll ever hope to see and haven’t made a move. On the other hand, I was there when Randy Orton caught Evan Bourne in the RKO out of a Shooting Star Press and I almost jumped out of my chair.

Now some people might call me a bad fan for this. Some people would say that I should cheer because otherwise, it makes the show look bad. Here’s the thing though: maybe there’s a reason those fans are so quiet. WWE anymore is so predictable in the format they’re going to use and the way things are done that it’s unbearably boring at times.

Let’s see: big star comes out to talk to open the show, his rival confronts him, a brawl is teased, an authority figure comes out and says chill a minute, the main event is made, a big line ends the segment and then we go to the back to see someone talking or walking to the ring. That eats up the first 15 minutes of the show, or about 1/8th of it.

You tell me: how many Raws or Smackdowns can you think of that have used that exact same formula over let’s say the last year. I’d go low on it and say 80 of them we’ll say 100 total shows have started like that. The rest of the show is just as predictable too: after that it’s a midcard match and then an upper midcard match with a talking segment in the back separating them. Then it’s the beginning of hour #2 and it’s time for either the first of two main events or a confrontation which eats up about 10-15 minutes.

The midcard title feud is next or might be swapped with the upper midcard match if they’re feeling a litle feisty. The Divas come out next at around 10:20 on Raw and they’ll eat up a little time. We get a talking segment/story moving segment occasionally disguised as a match and then it’s main event time where the show either ends in someone that hasn’t been seen for most of the night beating down the winner to end the show or the two main guys staring each other down.

Tell me: how many times have you see that EXACT same show? I’ve seen it so many times that I didn’t need to think about that in the slightest. Now let’s get back to the crowd which is the point of this whole thing. As I said I never miss a live show and I rarely if ever miss a TV show. When you’re in the arena, how many people do you think are like me and hardly ever miss anything the WWE puts on? We’re the fans willing to put our money down to see it live, so we must be pretty dedicated to it right?

We’re all dedicated enough to get out of our houses and pay pretty high prices to come to the arena, so it’s pretty clear we’re at least interested in what’s going on.

Now we get to the whole point of this: how many people in that arena do you think could probably figure out the order of the show like I just listed off? I’d bet a decent amount of money that the majority of them could if pressed. That’s what I’m getting at with this: the WWE product is so cookie cutter and so predictable in its format and the way that it’s presented that the fans have seen it before. There’s nothing anymore than pops off the page and, as Paul Heyman said, “makes you point at it and go yo that’s different.”

When’s the last time there was something that you saw on the show that was legitimately different? Over the past year and a half, I can think of about two: Old School Raw and the Nexus invading. Other than that it’s the same structure but with different people out there doing their absolute best to hide the fact that it’s the exact same thing all over again. Take Punk for instance: when you boil it down, Punk was a heel that is rebelling against the establishment and got over as a face because the fans wanted change. Austin did it, Cena did it with the way he looked and talked (go back to his rapper days and his JBL days. It’s all about being anti-establishment), DX did it by being vulgar. Same stuff, different faces.

WWE programming is so guilty of this that it’s unreal. For YEARS now they’ve had the same structure to their shows. It started in the days of the Alliance and has been the same way ever since. There are moments that are cool and moments that are indeed awesome, but how long do those moments last? How often do guys that catch fire keep it for more than a few weeks or months? It’s very, very rare and it’s because no matter who they are or what they have to say, they get trapped in the exact same cycle that everyone else does and it catches them.

And that’s where the crowds come into play. In short: wrestling fans aren’t stupid. They know they’ve seen this before and they know that it’s the same stuff with different faces out there talking. When you go to a show or watch on TV, who reacts the hardest? Kids. They react the hardest because they don’t realize it’s the same stuff cycling over and over again. Wrestling fans are smart and the crowds of them are getting smarter every week. Punk’s stuff was great at first and it’s still incredibly entertaining, but the unpredictability of it is gone and now he’s just another guy that wants change and is fighting the establishment. Just like Cena, just like Austin, just like DX, just like them all. Same stuff, different faces.

The crowds aren’t what’s killing the shows. The crowds are catching up to the tricks that WWE is putting before them and until WWE figures out that the crowds have caught on, it’s going to continue to be “dead crowd” after “dead crowd” after “dead crowd” while WWE keeps trying quick fix after quick fix. Punk said something earlier tonight on Smackdown that sums up the whole problem: “I want this to be fun again.”

I’m a hardcore fan and I’ll be around until the day they close the doors, but not everyone is like me. You have to treat the fans with respect and give them a reason to want to keep watching or they’ll say “man look at this other show. It’s totally different from anything else on” and they’ll watch that instead while WWE keeps having the same fights over respect and #1 contender triple threats and contract signings and gimmick matches (which I’ll get to next time) for the sake of gimmick matches and tag team main events that mean nothing while the crowds get smaller and smaller.

It’s not the crowds that are dying.

Thoughts on this?

My pick:Uncensored 1996 main event: Doomsday Cage Match.  This was the biggest mess you’ll ever see in wrestling.  There were three cages on top of a ring and the rules were mentioned like halfway into the match.  The pins didn’t matter, no one stayed in the ring, AND YOU COULDN”T SEE ANYTHING!  Just a huge mess and worth looking at so you can say “wow, this really happened.”

Your picks?

More general chat.  Who is your favorite wrestler ever?

My pick is generally well known but here you are:Mick Foley.  I’ve always loved the whole Rocky character and how he’s never been able to be held down.  Also the idea of multiple personalities is a great perk as instead of having a guy have a new character and then just abandon the old one, you have a guy whose gimmick was he had a bunch of gimmicks.  That’s a brilliant reversal of the idea and I’ve always loved it.

Your picks?

What is your favorite group of horses that attracts flies as Bobby Heenan so eloquently put it?

My pick:

Honestly no one stands out for me.  There are a bunch I’ve liked but nothing is really coming to my mind.  I guess I’d go with the Horsemen due to the originality of them and them having the revolving door of awesome.  That pick would probably change at any given time though.

Your picks?

Like I said I’m going to try to do some basic topics like this on days where there isn’t anything significant going on.  They’ll probably be simple like this unless something interesting hits me.

My pick:Demolition vs. Hart Foundation – Summerslam 90.

This was 2/3 falls for the tag titles, held by the now heel Demolition.  They had turned over the summer and were unstoppable monsters.  They had recently added Crush who was going to be the long term replacement for Ax who was suffering from health problems.  The Harts were total underdogs who on paper were going to be crushed.  Oh I made a funny.

Anyway, the LOD are kind of lurking somewhere, promising that they’re next for Demolition no matter what.  The champs cheated through the first fall and went up 1-0, then got caught cheating to get it tied up.  The Harts were more or less dead when Ax came out (Demolition was using the Freebird Rule at the time) and hid under the ring.  He came in because “Ax and Smash look totally alike” (according to Vince at least).

The flaw with this was simple: Ax and Smash aren’t identical.  They’re really not close to being identical.  Smash was taller and a bit slimmer and had a bigger head.  You could easily tell them apart but Vince insisted you couldn’t.  Anyway after some heel shenanigans, the LOD came out and pulled the third man from under the ring and beat him down, allowing Neidhart to hit a slingshot shoulder block to give the Harts the upset of the year.  Vince’s reaction and the pop are great and it’s just a fun moment.  It was also the Harts’ last run with glory as they would drop the belts at Mania and quietly split soon after.

Anyway, what’s your pick?  It can be any form of tag match ever and this is really just for fun.