Wrestling Challenge
Date: November 1, 1986
Location: War Memorial, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

These shows continue to be easy watches and are making me want to see some of the live events where the feuds are blown off. That means they’re doing something right and I could go for seeing more of this stuff to see if they can keep it up in the short term. That’s tricky to do so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Savage, with Elizabeth, is defending and commentary points out how rare it is to a title match on TV, which is rather true. Haynes shrugs off a wristlock to start and grabs a headlock. That’s broken up and Savage sends him hard into the buckle for two. Haynes fights up and hits a clothesline, setting up the full nelson. Savage swings and hits the referee, who calls for the DQ and the bell at 4:55.

Rating: C. Not much to see here, with the biggest story being the crooked referee. That is something that could go rather big if done properly and they seem to be on their way. Haynes could have been just about anyone in the role as Savage could work well with everybody. It wasn’t much of a match, but at least it moved a bigger story forward.

Post match Davis clarifies that Hayes swung Savage into him so Savage wins. Monsoon: “IT WAS SNEAKY!”

We get a Wrestlers’ Rebuttal from Hulk Hogan, who knows the fans believe in him. Orndorff is the one in the wrong and the fans want Hogan to destroy him.

Islanders vs. Mike Sharpe/Terry Gibbs

Gibbs and Tama start things off with Tama knocking him down. The insert promo from the Dream Team talks about how the Islanders are supposed to play hockey. Everything breaks down and Sharpe takes over on Tama, with a double back elbow putting him down. It’s off to Haku to clean house, including planting Sharpe. A top rope splash gives Tama the pin at 2:55.

Davey Boy Smith introduces Matilda, who we’ve already met. Dynamite Kid comes in to say they’re ready for any team, including the Dream Team.

George Steele tried to order fast food but could only say EAT. Well yeah.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik/Hercules Hernandez vs. Lanny Poffo/SD Jones/Corporal Kirschner

Slick is here with the villains. Poffo does not like the Soviet National Anthem and reads a poem about how we should chant USA. Jones hammers on Volkoff to start and hands it off to Poffo to pull on the arm. Slick talks about how Hercules is going to win the WWF Title as Kirschner comes in, only to get suplexed by Sheik. Hernandez grabs the backbreaker (torture rack) for the submission at 1:23. I would have bet on Jones taking the fall there.

The Killer Bees think they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. B. Brian Blair is excited about an upcoming youth amateur wrestling tournament in his hometown. Nothing wrong with that.

Hart Foundation vs. Pedro Morales/Tito Santana

Jimmy Hart is here with the Harts. Neidhart knees Santana in the ribs to start but Santana is back up with a quick dropkick. Jimmy trips Santana down and we get an insert promo from Jimmy talking about how he would NEVER use the megaphone to cheat. Morales comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner, allowing for some assisted choking. A backdrop gets Morales out of trouble and it’s off to Santana as everything breaks down. They all fight to the floor and it’s a double countout at 2:52. That’s a surprise for the Harts, who were quite the up and coming team.

We’re off to the Snake Pit with Jake Roberts saying this is a special week for him. He brings out quite the big deal guest with Roddy Piper, who gets to join the NEW Pit. Piper makes it clear that he doesn’t like either kind of snake (meaning Damien and/or Roberts) but Roberts wants him to touch Damien. With that not happening, Piper decks Roberts and leaves.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Tiger Chung Lee/Barry O

Raymond works on a top wristlock with O to start before they both miss elbow drops. Dino Bravo pops in to say he’s the only worthwhile Canadian wrestler and the Rougeaus make him sick to his stomach. Lee comes in to take over on Jacques as Heenan asks which Rougeau is in the ring. Monsoon: “That’s Jacques.” Heenan: “Who cares?” Raymond comes back in and Le Bombe de Rougeau finishes O at 1:55.

Jack Tunney announces that the company is officially looking into Danny Davis’ ability to referee.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Moondog Rex

Steamboat grabs a headlock to start but Rex powers up and sends him into the corner. A quick rollup out of said corner gives Steamboat the pin at 1:25. Well that was short.

The Dream Team want the Tag Team Titles back and do not like being compared to dogs. Valentine: “WE’RE THE DREAM TEAM! WE’VE GOT DOLLS MADE OF US!” Valentine goes on a rant about how the Bulldogs are going to have to deal with them and the titles are changing.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Roll those highlights.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some weird choices for the decisions on here but the talent alone made it work. This show had appearances or matches from Randy Savage, the British Bulldogs, the Hart Foundation, Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat and more. That is an absolute murderers row of talent and just seeing them do basic matches is a lot of fun in a short span. It might not have been a great show, but it was nice to see all of these people in one place.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: October 25, 1986
Location: War Memorial, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

We’re still going with a look back at this show, which makes for some very fun moments. It’s such a simpler time and yet the storylines are being advanced to make you want to see what happens at live events. I get why things have changed so much today, but it still makes for such easy to watch television. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming on the show.

Bob Orton/Don Muraco vs. Mike Kelly/Nick Kiniski

There’s quite a bit to unpack here actually. Muraco and Orton have Jimmy Hart and Mr. Fuji with them and Orton is in a kilt to mock Roddy Piper, along with coming to the ring to his theme song. Kiniski is the son of Gene, minus anything resembling the talent or interest. Kiniski gets taken into the corner and powered around by Orton, allowing Kelly to come in. Muraco (with an amazing beard) Tombstones Kelly for the pin at 2:11. Kelly would be a bit better when he changed his name to Shane Douglas.

We get a Wrestlers’ Rebuttal from Bobby Heenan and King Harley Race, with Heenan complaining about people not kneeling before royalty. And then the other wrestlers think they belong in the same ring as Race! What rudeness!

Hillbilly Jim vs. Al Navarro

Navarro bounces off of him to start and a hammerlock doesn’t seem to work much better. A big boot and the bearhug finish for Jim at 2:32, a lot of which was spent walking around before they got started.

As Jim leaves, he is given a picture of the new WWF Magazine with Miss Elizabeth, which he kisses. So he’s chosen death.

Jake Roberts says Ricky Steamboat beat him in a fluke and he’s not afraid of anyone. Bring on George Steele, Tito Santana or Koko B. Ware. If you bring Frankie B. Ware around his snake, Frankie B. Gone soon. Roberts isn’t afraid of anyone, and he wants the Intercontinental Title. Once you have that, you can face Hulk Hogan anytime you want. So why not just go after Hogan? Either way, he warns Randy Savage to be ready.

Butch Reed vs. Don Driggers

Slick handles Reed’s introduction and we get an insert promo from Junkyard Dog, who says there is nothing natural about the Natural. Reed shoves Driggers down to start and gets in the posing, which works so well that he does it again. Some forearms put Driggers down again and Reed plants him with a slam. The middle rope clothesline finishes for Reed at 2:41.

The Honky Tonk Man talks about being up for 48 hours and rocking all night. He’s ready to strut n stroll and rock n roll. And his favorite song is Great Balls Of Fire. This was a parody right? It has to be. I would say no one could be that stupid but….yeah.

The Machines tried to buy a compact car but asked about the price in yen. Why they’re in their wrestling gear isn’t clear. Of course they’re not quite able to fit into the car and hilarity…well is teased but it doesn’t ensue.

Dino Bravo vs. Sivi Afi

Bravo, with dark hair, is Johnny V.’s newest star. Bravo takes him down without much trouble and hits a clothesline. A hard chop puts Afi down for a knee to the head as the dominance is on. Afi misses a charge into the corner and a fairly nasty belly to back suplex finishes for Bravo at 2:38.

It’s time for the Snake Pit, with the Honky Tonk Man as the special guest. Roberts asks if he’s a strong and successful man like his mama wanted. Honky Tonk Man isn’t sure what Roberts would know what it means to make a mama happy. Roberts doesn’t see Honky Tonk’s name on any walls so has he ever been this close to a real man? That doesn’t work for Honky Tonk, who thinks anyone who plays with a snake is a sick human being. Honky Tonk isn’t scared of Roberts or the snake but leaves anyway.

Killer Bees vs. Moondog Spot/Jimmy Jack Funk

What a weird heel team. Heenan wants to know why the Bees are introduced in the masks, get their names announced, and then take the masks off. Monsoon brushes it off despite Heenan having a totally fair question. Blair works on Spot’s arm to start as we get an insert interview from Dave Hebner talking about how hard it is to be a referee, which doesn’t make Danny Davis look good.

It’s off to Brunzell, who gets slammed down by Funk as the villains actually take over. A middle rope fist drop gets two as Heenan insists he never makes excuses if his men lose a match. Brunzell’s jumping knee gets two as everything breaks down. An atomic drop/dropkick combination finishes Funk at 3:36.

Rating: C. Not bad here, with the Bees being yet another team added to the already awesome division. It says a lot when the Bees, who would be at the top of almost any tag division, are in the middle of the pack at this point. They’re good at what they do and this was the kind of match that helps them get established as a bigger deal.

Ricky Steamboat, in a sweet Saturday Night’s Main Event hat, says don’t do drugs.

Back in 1984, Kamala, with Freddie Blassie and Kim Chee (called Friday here), was on Tuesday Night Titans with Blassie talking about how brutal Kamala can be. Then Kamala was presented with a live chicken, sending Vince McMahon into quite the rant. Not on THIS show of course. They really couldn’t do something new here and needed to go back two years for such a clip?

Kamala vs. Tony Nando

Kamala, with the Wizard and Kim Chee, chops him down to start and chokes near the apron. A big boot sets up the splash for the pin on Nando at 1:25.

After the match, we see a photo from the previously mentioned Tuesday Night Titans with Kamala looking at the camera with feathers around his face.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for another round with Jake Roberts. When it comes to becoming a champion, just do as Hulk Hogan told you to do and say your prayers, take your vitamins and train hard. Steamboat would love to be the Intercontinental Champion because it makes you a top contender to the WWF Title. Elizabeth is mentioned but George Steele runs in to say Savage is USING Elizabeth. Steele worries about her and Steamboat is going to beat Savage. Maybe Steele will hurt Savage too!

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Roll the highlights.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one more than the previous week, as it felt like it was starting to build to some bigger things. You can see wrestlers starting to talk about each other and that should make for a good slate of house shows down the line. That has me wondering what we’re going to see and these shows are the appetizers on the way to the more important stuff.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Well if you insist. This might be the show that I’ve seen more than any other in history as I regularly put it on to go to sleep, as it’s just such pleasant viewing. It’s one of the biggest shows of all time with the biggest main event in history. Throw in…oh come on. It’s Wrestlemania III. You know what this is all about so let’s get to it.

And in case it needs to be addressed again, the exact attendance of the show is A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Be it 78,000 or 93,173 or whatever it is in the middle, the WWF packed an NFL stadium and it’s a show that is still talked about going on forty years later. If you’re trying to argue that the attendance being ONLY pushing 80,000, you’re probably reading the wrong thing right now.

We open with the first (of a bunch) iconic shot of the show, with the camera near the top of the stadium and panning across to show all of the people. That’s one of those famous shots in the company’s history and it’s no wonder that it’s been played so many times.

Vince McMahon introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America The Beautiful, with just a hint of the Mr. McMahon voice coming out.

We meet commentary, plus special guests Mary Hart (from Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Uecker (famously not very good baseball player who wound up being a great TV personality and broadcaster).

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with the villains and the Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel) are basically the prototype for Strike force. Muraco shoves Zenk away to start and actually gets shouldered down. It’s off to Martel, who blind tags his way out of a headlock, setting up a double monkey flip. A double hiptoss drops Orton as well as they’re off to a fast start.

Back up and Orton gets slammed into an armbar from Zenk as Monsoon says Orton has “excellence of execution”. Orton gets a full nelson but Muraco’s cheap shot hits Orton by mistake to give Zenk two. Zenk comes in to work on the arm as well but a quick knee cuts Zenk down. Back up and a collision gives us a double knockdown, allowing the tag back to Martel. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent into each other, with Muraco backdropping Orton. A double dropkick sets up a crossbody (with a trip) to pin Muraco at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This would have been a dark match in more modern times but for this era, it was a great way to start things off. They didn’t waste time and got out of there pretty quickly with the young, pretty boy team beating the villains. Orton and Muraco were never really in control for any extended period of time and it was just shy of a squash. Fun opener here, even if it doesn’t mean much of anything.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes, which is a battle of the full nelson between two strong guys.

Hercules, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to use his strength to show Haynes that he is the true master of the full nelson. Heenan insists that it is actually Billy “Jerk” Haynes.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Bobby Heenan is here with Hercules and since the teams were in the ring to start the opener, we get the first glimpse of the ring carts here. They go nose to nose to start and Haynes backs him into the corner, where the referee gets between them in something you don’t often see. A cheap shot cuts Haynes off but Hercules has to bail from the threat of a full nelson.

One heck of a clothesline drops Haynes and things slow down. A backdrop and hard whip into the corner have Haynes’ back in more trouble, though Monsoon wonders why he isn’t working on the neck to set up the full nelson. Hercules covers him off a suplex but pulls up at two, which has Gorilla and Ventura mildly freaking out.

Back up and the full nelson, or at least something close to it (the fingers aren’t locked) goes on, with Haynes going down anyway. Two arm drops trigger the comeback so Hercules decks him from behind in a smart move. A double clothesline leaves both of them down before Haynes makes the clothesline comeback. The full nelson goes on but Hercules pulls them through the ropes for a crash outside. Haynes gets the full nelson on again but it’s a double countout at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a fairly slow power match with the result not really giving us anything. It’s still strange to see something like this at Wrestlemania but it’s a rather different era. The good thing though is that they didn’t stay out there very long, which takes away a lot of the issues. Haynes is a guy who had a great look but never went very far in the WWF before bailing (as he did multiple times in various companies).

Post match Heenan knees Haynes in the back so the chase is on, allowing Hercules to get in a chain shot and bust Hayes open (notice Haynes blading on camera). The full nelson goes on as well, likely setting up house show rematches.

King Kong Bundy, with his midgets (that’s what they’re called on this show so we’ll stay with that for now) threatens to crush various people.

Hillbilly Jim promises to protect his smaller friends, who he picks up for a beard pull.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Bob Uecker is on commentary and actually treats it seriously, clarifying that the sizes have to match (not so much the age, as Beaver was 53 here while Tokyo was 58, compared to the 35 year old Jim and the 32 year old Bundy). Tokyo headlocks Kid over to start and it’s a four way criss cross until Beaver and Kid do their rowboat spot. We settle down to Tokyo vs. Beaver as Uecker seems rather happy to be here.

Littlebrook comes in as Ventura wants to see Bundy crush one of the midgets. Beaver runs over to get in a cheap shot on Bundy, who is tagged in from the apron, which isn’t exactly legal. Beaver’s dropkick doesn’t do much to Bundy so it’s off to Jim for a clothesline and jumping elbow. The group pin gets two and Bundy grabs a front facelock on Jim, with Beaver coming in for the save. That’s enough for Bundy, who slams Beaver down and drops the big elbow, which is enough for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches where there isn’t much to get. It’s designed to be comedy or for the kids in the audience, which is fine when they just do something goofy. At the same time, it’s hard to fathom how far Bundy fell after headlining the show the previous year. In something a lot more serious, unfortunately the big elbow to Beaver led to the end of his in-ring career, as he never wrestled again.

Randy Savage isn’t going to let Elizabeth be interviewed by Mary Hart and offers to take any questions Hart may have. Hart to Elizabeth: “Is it always this way?” Savage rushes Elizabeth out of there but tells Hart that his phone number is on his license plate. Hart: “You are a real charmer.” And an incredible star, as the charisma here was incredible.

We recap Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. Race is the King of the WWF and wants the Dog to bow to him but Dog wasn’t interested. Instead, Race, with Bobby Heenan, tried to force him to bow. That’s enough to set up a match, but I’d be more annoyed at the crown having a string to help hold it on. They can’t get something a bit more customized?

Race promises to make Dog bow and the Queen (Fabulous Moolah) is told to keep the crown.

The Dog thinks Race has been on the throne too long.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Bob Uecker runs off commentary because he is apparently in love with Moolah. As….someone must have been. Dog slugs away to start and knocks him outside, followed by a headbutt back inside. Race hits a headbutt to the ribs and they go outside, where Race misses a falling headbutt.

A clothesline sends Race over the top and back inside, followed by another to put him outside again, with Race’s face landing on the apron. Back in again and Race fights out of an abdominal stretch and hits a falling headbutt, which huts himself again. Dog whips him over the corner and hits some headbutts on all fours. Heenan offers a distraction though and Race grabs a belly to belly for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. This was another short one and somehow might have set a record for the most headbutts attempted in any match. The interesting thing here is that it felt like Race was doing something beneath him, but you could still see how graceful he was with some of his bumping. It made Dog, who wasn’t exactly great on his best day, look that much better here, which is quite the feat.

Post match Race puts on the robe and sits in his chair, which is quite the visual. Dog does bow, then hits Race with the chair and steals the robe and crown, because he’s a sore loser.

Hulk Hogan is not happy with people suggesting that he is ready to take his last ride. At some point you have to face the truth, which is what Andre The Giant will do today. Andre is going to have to face every Hulkamaniac. Hogan: “They say if the dirty air doesn’t get you, the politicians will.” After that line that I have not understood for over thirty seven years, Hogan promises to win.

The Dream Team says don’t worry about Dino Bravo being in their corner.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team, with Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo, gets an entrance while the Rougeaus are already in the ring. Ventura praises Greg Valentine’s new robe. To be fair, that is a rather snazzy robe. As usual, Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau is which and asks Monsoon in an exchange that illustrates why they sounded like normal people from time to time. Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau he’s seeing, Monsoon says it’s Raymond (the one with the mustache) and Ventura sounds grateful. How often do you see that in wrestling?

Anyway, Raymond takes over on Valentine to start and hands it off to Jacques, who misses a spinning middle rope crossbody, allowing Valentine to drop some elbows, as he is known to do. Beefcake comes in to stomp away and a top rope forearm to the head/backbreaker combination hits Jacques.

Bobby Heenan joins commentary and says he is 2/2 today as Valentine gets the Figure Four, sending Jacques to the rope. Monsoon calls out Heenan for King Kong Bundy’s loss, but Heenan doesn’t “deal with midgets”. Jacques gets over to Raymond for the tag and Le Bombe de Rougeau connects but Bravo gets in a cheap shot, allowing Valentine to steal the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Another short match which didn’t mean much but hearing Monsoon and Heenan arguing is always worth a look. It’s another match where they don’t have much of a story and it’s just two teams doing things, which is acceptable enough. Anytime you can get Le Bombe de Rougeau, it’s a pretty good day. Well maybe not for the Rougeaus, but at least it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match Beefcake gets left in the ring for some reason with the other villains leaving. No one exactly gets what’s going on with Beefcake and…yeah it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Unless he’s just having a sudden crisis of conscience, it comes out of nowhere, at least with what we’re seeing here.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis in Piper’s farewell match, which is hair vs. hair. Adonis had paid off Piper’s bodyguard Bob Orton and Piper was livid, even more so when Piper’s Pit was turned into the Flower Shop when Piper was gone making a movie. Piper came back and wrecked the place, earning a beating from Adonis and Orton. On top of that, Adonis sprayed perfume in Piper’s face, with Ventura thinking it was due to a bad case of halitosis. This was a heck of a hot feud, as Piper looked like he wanted to kill Adonis.

Piper says he’s not going out like a coward. No defeat and no surrender. Piper was bringing the fire here.

Adonis, with Jimmy Hart, is ready to cut Piper’s hair.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Piper has to walk to the ring (as his cart stalled), which just feels appropriate. They start fast with Piper whipping him with a belt but Adonis takes it away and unloads on Piper as well. A clothesline sends Adonis to the floor so Piper drags him, and Hart, inside for a double noggin knocker. Hart gets whipped into Adonis for a crash out to the floor. Ventura: “THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!”

Back in and Piper unloads on Adonis before throwing Hart onto him again. Adonis rakes away at the chest and drops him with a shot to the face as Hart is barely able to stand on the floor. An elbow sends Piper to the floor and Adonis sends him into a table so Hart gets in a cheap shot of his own. Adonis hammers away so Piper tells him to bring it, only for Hart to spray him with perfume.

Good Night Irene (sleeper) goes on and Piper can’t shake it off or break it with some rams into the corner. The arm drops twice and Adonis just lets go, with the arm not going down yet. Cue Brutus Beefcake (whose hair Adonis had accidentally cut earlier in the year) to wake Piper up so Adonis swings his hedge clippers, which bounce off the ropes and hit himself in the head. Piper grabs his own sleeper for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B. No it might not be good, but this is an absolute blast of a match with Piper being so over the top and having such a good time with Hart and Adonis that it’s just so much fun. Piper was on his way out and gets to do one more entertaining match because he earned the whole thing. It would have been interesting to see him as a good guy for a longer time in his prime but going out on a high note like this is good too.

Post match Beefcake cuts a bunch of Adonis’ hair, with Piper throwing it around. Adonis wakes up and is shown his haircut, which sends Adonis into a frenzy. It doesn’t really get him very far as Piper keeps skipping away, leaving Adonis to crash out to the floor. Piper celebrates and a fan runs into the ring, gets a hug, and is promptly handcuffed while Piper leaves in a funny moment. Of note: the hedge clippers that Adonis used would become Beefcake’s trademark as he became the Barber after the match. Throw in Adonis being the one to give Piper his trademark leather jacket and it’s quite the influential feud.

Jesse Ventura has left commentary to be presented to the crowd, with Bob Uecker accusing him of going to be with Fabulous Moolah.

Ventura is indeed presented to the crowd before the next match, which he would do for the next two Wrestlemanias for some reason.

The Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart are ready for war with DANNY DAVIS as their new member.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Bob Uecker and Mary Hart are on commentary. So this is ALL about Davis, who was a referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles through being all evil. He was promptly suspended “for life plus ten years” (he refereed again later on because wrestling) so Jimmy Hart has turned him into a wrestler, making his debut here.

The fans are desperate to see Davis get absolutely massacred here and he has absolutely insane heat. The good guys get to do their entrance and Uecker AGAIN does a great job of setting up Monsoon to recap the story, treating this totally seriously (in his own fun way) and being as good of a celebrity broadcaster as you’ll ever find in wrestling. Matilda (the bulldog mascot) chases the villains to the floor and Santana jumps Neidhart before we officially get going.

Ventura takes Matilda to the back as Bret is dropped face first out of the corner. Neidhart comes in as Mary Hart goes on a rather annoying rant about how she is NOT related to Jimmy. Santana leapfrogs Neidhart and hands it off to Smith to hammer away. Smith avoids Bret’s elbow and hands it off to Dynamite, who gets headbutted down. Dynamite gets punched in the corner and Neidhart adds a cheap shot as Monsoon says that Bret, just like Bob Orton, has Excellence Of Execution.

Something close to a Demolition Decapitator hits Dynamite and it’s off to Davis for a few stomps. He immediately hands it off to Bret with the biggest grin, because he knows how to be a heel. Unfortunately Mary is asking what Dynamite has to do to get out of the ring in this TAG match. Davis comes back in for two more stomps and gets out again with his big grin. Bret tries a slingshot but Davis lands on raised knees, allowing Santana to come in and hammer on Davis, with the fans going NUTS.

A backdrop sets up the flying forearm before Santana just unloads on him with some right hands. Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four so Smith comes in for a heck of a clothesline and a jumping Tombstone. That’s not enough for the cover so Smith grabs a suplex to drop Davis again. The running powerslam gets two with Neidhart making the save. Everything breaks down and Jimmy slips in the megaphone so Davis can knock Smith out for the win at 8:53.

Rating: B. While it might be stretching the idea of having Davis escape one more time, sweet goodness the crowd reactions here were incredible. Davis was getting absolutely molten heat here and the fans were dying to see him get crushed. I could have gone for seeing the good guys win, but stretching it out wasn’t the worst idea.

Bobby Heenan (now in the famous white tuxedo) promises that Hulkamania is over tonight because Andre The Giant will be the new World Champion. Heenan’s confidence here is even higher than usual as he really feels like this is the be all and end all for him.

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Slick is here with Reed as we have a bit of a Mid-South reunion here. Ware tries to pick up the pace to start by running over Reed and then dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Reed drops Ware to take over and we look at Frankie the parrot trying to eat the camera. Ware comes back with some right hands and a dropkick before a small package gets two. Back up and Ware tries a crossbody but Reed rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here with the two of them just having a quick match without going very far. Reed felt like he could have been something bigger in the company but it never quite panned out. Having him around here was fine, but there is only so much you can do in a match this short with nothing going on.

Post match Slick goes after Ware but Tito Santana pops up to rip off Slick’s suit as he and Ware have been having issues lately. Santana and Ware clear out Reed too.

We recap Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title. Savage injured Steamboat with an ax handle to send Steamboat throat first into the barricade and then crushed his throat with the ring bell. Steamboat returned anyway and wanted revenge while teaming up with George Steele, who had been feuding with Savage for several months.

Savage is ready to beat Steamboat and get him out of the ring because he is the lord and master. “History beckons the Macho Man.” What an amazing line.

Steamboat says they are going to meet like titans and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat, with George Steele, is challenging and Miss Elizabeth is with Savage, who gets a face pop so big that even commentary has to acknowledge it. They lock up to start and Steamboat shoves him to the floor as Ventura says Steamboat was able to come back because he has a lot of throat. The armdrags have Savage in trouble and Steamboat lifts him up with a choke.

Back in and Savage gets in a kick of his own as even Monsoon has to admit that Savage is pretty incredible. Steamboat comes back with a crank on the arm and snaps it over the top but Savage elbows him in the face. Savage drops a knee for two but gets sent face first into the buckle. A crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s another armdrag into some shoulder blocks. Savage comes back with a jumping knee to the back but Steamboat is fine enough to skin the cat.

That just earns him a clothesline over the top because as good as Steamboat is, Savage is incredibly smart in his own right. Another running knee sends Steamboat crashing over the barricade, with Steele having to help him back over while the referee yells at Savage. Ventura gets on Monsoon, who wanted managers to be less hands on. Monsoon: “That’s not a manager. That’s a friend.” I feel terrible for this one but screw off with that nonsense Monsoon.

The top rope ax handle drills Steamboat and an atomic drop gets two back inside. Steamboat flips out of a belly to back suplex and backdrops Savage over the top for a heck of a bump to the floor. Back in and Steamboat dives off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head (I love that shot). Steamboat starts firing off the chops and Savage is knocked outside again. A sunset flip and some rollups get two each on Savage as even Ventura has to admit that this match is incredible.

Steamboat catapults him face first into the post for two but Savage pulls the tights to send Steamboat shoulder first into the post. Back up and a reversed whip takes out the referee and Savage hits his signature clothesline (where he lands on his back for some reason). The top rope elbow connects….and there’s no referee. Savage goes to grab the bell but Steele shoves him off the top, with Savage crashing down onto said bell (close enough). Back up and Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:31 in one of the most famous finishes in history.

Rating: A+. I mean…what do you want me to say? Yeah it might be a cliche to say this is one of the best matches ever but that’s exactly what it is. You have two of the best of all time in a match that was way ahead of its time with the fast pace and near falls. There’s nothing close to bad in the whole thing and it feels like it is one of the biggest showdowns you’ll ever see. In short, this is a classic for a reason, or in this case, multiple reasons.

Savage goes back in the card with his head in his hands, completely destroyed.

Jake Roberts, with Alice Cooper, is ready to get revenge on Honky Tonk Man for hitting him with a guitar.

Honky Tonk Man thinks the fans want to hear his song rather than something by Alice Cooper.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Jimmy Hart and Alice Cooper are here too. Roberts jumps him to start and knocks him outside before the Elvis suit can come off. The beating goes to the floor, with Roberts getting in a slam as the beating is on in a hurry. Back in and Roberts charges into a knee in the corner but he’s right back with the short arm clothesline. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor, where he manages to post Roberts for a breather.

Back in and the middle rope fist drop hits Roberts, followed by an elbow to the face (by “Honk” according to Monsoon). The Shake Rattle And Roll (he couldn’t get past the Shake) is broken up and Roberts is back with an atomic drop. There’s a backdrop to Honky Tonk and he gets tied in the ropes for some right hands. The DDT is teased but Hart grabs the leg, allowing Honky Tonk to get a rollup (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. There was only so much to get out of this one as Honky Tonk wasn’t going to have the best matches and this was more about Roberts’ revenge. That’s not what he got anyway, but it’s not like Roberts was ever going to win many big matches. Honky Tonk Man had something much bigger coming, but you wouldn’t have bet on it here…which is kind of the entire point.

Post match Hart and Cooper get in the ring, with Roberts holding Hart back so Cooper can throw Damien on him. This show has been very full of sore losers.

Gene Okerlund announces the attendance record.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the villains and is still in his torn suit. Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem, which draws out newcomer Jim Duggan (yes the 2×4 has an American flag) to break it up because THIS IS AMERICA. The villains jump them from behind to get started but are sent into the corners to cut them off. Blair comes in to work on Sheik’s arm and the Bees take turns working on said arm. Everything breaks down as the ring is full of trash from the anthem.

Sheik elbows Brunzell down and it’s back to Volkoff for a bearhug (which has Brunzell looking like he’s being tortured to death). A suplex (almost a Jackhammer) gives Sheik two but Brunzell knees him down. The referee misses the tag thanks to a distraction though and everything breaks down. Sheik camel clutches Brunzell so Duggan blasts him in the back with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: D. This is a good example of a match that did not need to be here and served little more than to stretch things out until the main event was ready to go. It really didn’t need to happen and it’s not like there was much going on anyway. If nothing else, it continues to amaze me that Sheik and Volkoff were a team for so long. They won the Tag Team Titles two years ago at the first Wrestlemania and they’re still here.

Post match Duggan says he’ll do that every time Volkoff tries to disgrace America. As Ventura puts it: why are the Bees ok with Duggan costing them a match? Shouldn’t they be mad?

Andre The Giant is ready to be the World Champion and Bobby Heenan agrees.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant. They had been friends for years but then Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and asked why he never got a title shot from Hogan. Andre snapped (well as much as he’s ever going to snap) and tore the shirt off of Hogan’s back (ripping his cross off by mistake in the process), challenging him for the title at “the Wrestlemania.” Hogan agreed and it’s time for the biggest match of all time.

Hogan is ready and poses.

Bob Uecker, the guest ring announcer and Mary Hart, the guest timekeeper, are brought out.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Andre, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging. Hogan’s entrance is rather incredible, with him getting the big spotlight and walking all the way to the ring as Ventura does the tale of the tape (and even admits that Hogan’s biceps are “phenomenal”). Ventura: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That’s pretty accurate, yep. The bell rings and we get the staredown, which is your next iconic shot of the show.

Hogan wastes no time in Hulking Up before hammering away and trying a slam, only for Andre to fall onto him. This gives us a VERY close two, which was controversial enough that it enough for the feud to continue for another year. Andre slowly starts in on the back and hits a pair of slams before stepping over Hogan to keep him down. Some whips into the corner make it worse as Andre is barely having to do much here, mainly because he couldn’t. Andre misses a headbutt and hits the corner, allowing Hogan to hammer away for the hope spot.

Ten straight rams into the buckle have Andre staggered but he gets the boot up to cut off the charge. The bearhug goes on for awhile (I still don’t get the criticism that this kills the match as it’s really not that long) but Hogan slugs away for the break. A running shoulder has Andre staggered again until he hits a big chop. Andre boots him out to the floor but accidentally headbutts the post.

Hogan, ever the hero, pulls back the floor mats and tries a piledriver, which is easily blocked with a backdrop. Back in (I can give you the commentary word for word from here on) and Andre misses a big boot, allowing Hogan to drop him with a clothesline. Heenan is beside himself as Hogan Hulks Up and slams Andre (there’s your other iconic shot) to drop the leg and retain the title at 11:32. Ventura: “UNBELIEVABLE!” If you could sway Jesse, you could get anyone.

Rating: B-. No it isn’t particularly good, no it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done better and no it was never going to much better than that. What mattered here was giving Hogan the win against the biggest (non-Sammartino) name of the previous generation. It’s a VERY simple story (Hogan gets hurt, he gets beaten down, he survives long enough to Hulk Up and uses the power of Hulkamania to slay the Giant) but it was a good enough stadium match to get by. That and the whole “it’s the biggest match ever” kind of helps.

Andre and Heenan leave in the card, with Heenan’s head in his hands as he realizes he’s lost everything. Hogan poses a lot and gets in his cat, which is elevated so more people can see him in a smart move.

Ventura and Gorilla wrap up the show and we get a stills package to end the show, set to Aretha Franklin.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve watched this show more times than I can count for over thirty years and that’s because it just works. It’s a perfect example of a show that flows so well, with only a few spots that drag. The show has twelve matches and two of them break nine minutes. Even the worst matches on the card are out of there quickly enough that they don’t do much damage, which is part of the reason why the show is just over three hours.

At the same time, this was the show that set the standard for what Wrestlemania would become. Rather than a big house show or whatever the second edition was, it was “here’s a huge main event with enough on the undercard to fill a stadium”. That would become the standard for Wrestlemania down the line and it started here, making it one of the most important shows of all time.

Overall, Wrestlemania III is a show that changed the way the wrestling world worked and it still works to this day. You could tell that everyone was wanting it to go as well as it could and for once they actually pulled it off. No the matches aren’t all great, but it has that huge feeling that you cannot fake. It’s a show that will always work and I was enjoying it all over again here, which isn’t something you see very often. Check it out again if you haven’t in awhile, or even if you have really, as it’s always worth the time.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C-

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2025 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Sweet goodness I’ve been all over the place with this show over the years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

So this is something new that I’m trying, as I recently purchased access to an INCREDIBLE treasure trove of wrestling from around the world and throughout history. It’s almost exclusively NOT WWF/E stuff so expect quite the variety. There is all kinds of stuff that I’ve never even heard of before (including a weekly French series from the early 90s for a real twist). I’m not sure how often I’ll be doing these but more wrestling is a good thing (in theory).

WWF Cage Match Compilation Volume I

Ok so it’s mostly non-WWF but they do have a collection of about 70 cage matches from the company, including quite a few fan cam recordings from house shows. That is going to make for quite the look back, though some of these are from major shows that you have probably seen before. I’ll be doing them at random in a series so let’s get to it.

Superstar Billy Graham vs. Butch Reed
Date: October 16, 1987
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,700
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Nick Bockwinkel

This is from Graham’s last run in wrestling and he only had a handful (ok two big handfuls) of matches before he hung it up for good. These two feuded for a good while during this run, though Graham’s body is rapidly deteriorating as he is already wrestling with a replaced hip and it’s only getting worse.

Before the match, we need to put the cage together (a thing that I miss but is completely impractical in the days of just hanging it above the ring). While that is taking place, we get some pre-match promos.

Graham talks about having Reed in the bearhug and now he’s ready to be locked in the cage so no one can interfere whatsoever.

Reed is ready to be in there man against man, and the REAL man is the only one leaving. Guess who that is supposed to be.

We go to the actual match and Reed jumps him on the way in to start fast. Graham is sent head first into the cage as Bockwinkel says this is like a prison cell. What kind of jails do they have in the AWA territory??? Anyway, Reed sends him into the cage and then uses Graham’s own bandanna to tie him to said cage. Reed charges into a knee though and Graham slips out.

This time it’s Reed going into the cage and Graham gets to choke with a shirt. It’s too early for Graham to get out as Bockwinkel thinks Graham’s knee might be his Achilles tendon. You were one word away from a perfect illustration. Reed gets caught trying to escape and Graham grabs a quickly broken sleeper. The ram into the cage lets Reed crank on the leg but Graham pulls him down.

A low blow doesn’t do much to Reed, who goes right back to the bad hip. Reed gets caught trying to climb out and the bearhug has him in trouble. That’s broken up with another ram into the cage but Graham pulls him down again. With the climbing not working, Reed pulls out some brass knuckles but misses a few shots, allowing Graham to use them on Reed instead. Graham dives (work with me here) out of the door to win at 11:04.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t exactly a great technical showdown, but that’s not what they were going for here. This was about Graham getting some revenge on Reed by hitting him in the face/sending him into the cage. The fans were still reacting to Graham and you could see the (super) star power, but the injuries were catching up to him way too fast to really be effective in a bigger way. Reed was good as usual, and for a big house show cage match, it worked well.

WWWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Stan Hansen
Date: August 7, 1976
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 22,000
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Bruno is defending (of course) and this is a rematch from Showdown At Shea, which was a rematch from when Hansen broke Bruno’s neck. We get the ESCAPE ONLY explanation and Hansen looks like a monster during his introduction. Bruno gets a heck of a reception (shocking I know) and after some Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go. Hansen jumps him to start but Bruno fights right back and sends him into the cage to an awesome roar. Some stomping puts Bruno down for a bit but he fights back again and sends Hansen into the cage.

It’s too early for Hansen to escape so he hammers away some more, earning a stomping from Bruno for a change. A shot to the ribs slows Bruno down but Hansen misses the elbow. Bruno grabs a reverse chinlock (or Boston crab according to Vince) before just stepping on Hansen’s face. What looks to be a low blow gets Hansen out of trouble but Bruno is still fine enough to catch him trying to escape.

We get some boots to Hansen’s head (there is something awesome about the way Bruno swings his leg so wide as he kicks someone) so Hansen goes with another low blow (or “foul” as Vince calls it). Another escape attempt is cut off for another ram into the cage, this time busting Hansen open. Bruno ties him in the ropes and unloads on him as Hansen is almost out. One more big right hand drops Hansen and Bruno walks out to retain at 10:43.

Rating: B-. This was a good old fashioned fight as Bruno didn’t so much care about the title as much as he wanted revenge on Hansen. Bruno always looked best when he was ticked off and just wanted to hit someone in the face over and over, which is exactly what you got here. You can feel the emotion when Bruno is in the ring, as even someone like Hansen is just overwhelmed. Very fun match and the crowd’s reaction to Bruno is incredible.

Post match the rather bloody Hansen gets up and poses before collapsing again. Vince: “Hansen, absolute annihilated here.” That’s about the size of it, yeah.

Andre The Giant vs. Big John Studd
Date: September 24, 1983
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,983
Commentators: Dick Graham, Gorilla Monsoon

We see Andre walking through the tunnel in the back and my goodness it’s such an imposing visual. That’s a big part of the appeal and dang does it work. Studd jumps him on the way in and stomps Andre down in the corner (that’s a weird sight) but the ram into the cage is blocked. Andre sends him into the cage a few times and Studd is already busted open.

Some rams into the other cage walls (just to be a completionist) have Studd staggered until he elbows Andre in the face a few times. Studd tries to leave so Andre sits on him for a rather painful cut off. Back up and Studd grabs a front facelock but gets cut off rather quickly for daring to try an escape.

Andre has to dive to cut off another escape attempt as Gorilla isn’t sure what size boot Andre wears. Back up and Andre sends him into the cage a few times but Studd hits a big clothesline. Studd’s next escape attempt is cut off with a legdrop to the back of the head and there’s the slam (good for $10,000). Andre goes nuclear by heading up top for a super sitdown splash. Since Studd is pretty much crushed beyond repair, Andre walks out to win at 10:04.

Rating: C+. Remember how I said the visual of Andre walking to the ring was awesome? The visual of him jumping off the top to crush an innocent human being is even better. I’ve seen him do it before but if there is a bigger ultimate finish in the WWF’s history, it’s a new one on me. Studd was one of the few people who could match size with Andre and he did well enough here, but there was no stopping the force that was Andre.

WWF Title: Bob Backlund vs. Jimmy Snuka
Date: June 28, 1982
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Backlund is defending and it’s escape only again, albeit this time ONLY through the door (As apparently Backlund’s manager Arnold Skaaland thinks Snuka is too good at jumping over the cage. That’s quite a cop out for a heroic champion.) Snuka has Captain Lou Albano with him, like any good villain of the day should. Backlund tells him to get inside before grabbing him by the hair to start fast.

Some stomps have Snuka in trouble and Backlund strikes away, even headbutting Snuka without hurting himself. Snuka fires off some chops and knees as this is much more of a brawl so far. It’s Backlund going into the cage first as Vince talks about how there are TWO opponents each here, getting all philosophical you see. There’s the big whip into the cage and a backbreaker keeps Backlund in trouble.

The middle rope forearm/headbutt connects but it’s way too early for Snuka to escape. Backlund gets all fired up and punches away, setting up the catapult into the cage. Snuka is busted open and you know (at least you should) that a ticked off Backlund is going to go after that. A shot to the chest cuts Backlund off again though and an elbow….does nothing as pins don’t count here. Backlund gets suplexed but the splash off the top of the cage misses, allowing him to escape and retain at 10:25.

Rating: C+. This was just starting to get good when it wrapped up and that’s rather annoying. The splash off the cage looked like the big epic finish and Backlund escaping after it misses worked well enough, but the anger and hatred were just starting to flow here when they wrapped up. This was a huge feud at the time though and it’s easy to see why Snuka was a huge star the second he turned.

Post match Backlund says he kind of liked getting to hurt Snuka like that. He likes going out the door anyway because he wants more of a contest than a fight. Backlund respects Snuka’s power and athleticism and he’s ready for his next challenger, who might be Cowboy Bob Orton.

Vince gives us a quick backstory, saying Backlund and Orton were going to wrestle in high school but Backlund got hurt and couldn’t do it. As a result, Orton thinks he’s a coward but Backlund is ready to prove that he’s the better man. Backlund doesn’t have much say in who he faces but he’s requesting to face Orton. Total “bye golly’s” in this five minute interview: four. Oh and a “hello mom and dad”.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kamala
Date: January 11, 1987
Location: Maple Leaf Gardens, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny V.

Hogan is defending and I’m surprised it took this long to get to one of his matches. In a rare moment, this is described as a ten foot cage instead of the traditional fifteen. Kamala has the Wizard and Kim Chee with him to uneven the odds a bit. Hogan has his face painted up and slaps his stomach on the way to the ring so Kamala uses the belt to beat the racial stereotypes out of him. Hogan fights back and chokes with the bandanna but has to block some cage shots.

There’s the back rake but Kamala sends him into the cage as Monsoon talks about Whipper Billy Watson. A leg dive keeps Kamala inside but he chops Hogan down. The splash connects as Gorilla talks about Kamala’s cannibalistic tendencies but it’s already Hulk Up time. The bloody Hogan sends him into the cage over and over and there’s quite the slam. Hogan drops the leg so Chee and the Wizard jump the referee and come in. That doesn’t work for Hogan, who beats all three of them up and goes through the door to retain at 6:19.

Rating: C. The match was nothing but Hogan came off like an absolute superhero here. He shrugged off Kamala’s biggest stuff, beat up the cheating managers, and walked out to retain in short order. The fans were going nuts for this too and I can’t say I blame them, as this is the Hogan that felt like the strongest force in the universe. How could you cheer for him?

Post match the villains go after him again and get beaten up, again! Posing ensues.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff
Date: January 3, 1987
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

Hogan is defending and this is a famous one, from Saturday Night’s Main Event #9. Before the match, Orndorff’s manager, promises to make Hogan the paper that lines a bird cage. Danny Davis is here as the second referee and yeah that is going to mean shenanigans. In the back, Hogan says the cage is the last resort. They both come out to Real American in a still awesome angle. Orndorff grabs the belt again for some shots but Hogan reaches for the ankle.

Hogan catches him on top as well, with Orndorff having to be dragged back over (Ventura: “Hogan would not be the champion if Mr. Wonderful was bald.” That line has cracked me up for over thirty years now.). Back down and Hogan punches away but Orndorff catches him on top. Orndorff misses some elbows and the comeback (I think?) is on but Davis doesn’t have the door unlocked in time. Some knees to the head rock Hogan again and stereo rams into the cage leave both of them down. They both climb up and get to the ground….at the same time at 6:45, with one referee each saying they both win.

It’s a tie, so we’ll get them back inside and keep going. Back from a break with Orndorff throwing him back inside and getting in some cheap shots. A fist drop triggers the comeback and Ventura isn’t happy. Some rams into the cage set up a backbreaker of all things into the legdrop. Heenan tries to break it up but Hogan shrugs him off, beats them both up and leaves to retain at 16:34.

Rating: B-. This was billed as the first cage match in network television history (accurate) and it felt like a big deal. Hogan vs. Orndorff had been a massive feud so giving them this big of a blowoff made sense. The stuff in the middle added some drama and as usual, the chemistry was rolling between these two. Hogan was off to something bigger though, which Orndorff would have to settle for the end of the biggest run of his career.

In the back, Heenan promises to get the footage of the match and show it to Jack Tunney because Orndorff is the champion. I still want one of those WWF duffle bags.

Hogan isn’t worried about Heenan’s plan.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus
Date: December 27, 1989
Location: Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is The Match from No Holds Barred: The Movie/The Match. Since the movie was falling apart, Vince McMahon tried this idea: get the movie on pay per view and see this match as well, as the big blowoff to the Hogan vs. Zeus feud (which would eventually be available on the original Supertape, which I’ve seen roughly 183 times). Hogan rips off Beefcake’s shirt but won’t let Beefcake do the same. That’s why he has no friends. Sherri, apparently a Beefcake fan, sends the cage door into Hogan’s face to drop him outside, leaving Beefcake two on one.

Since it’s Hogan, that lasts all of thirty seconds before Hogan punches Savage through the bars and climbs over the top to clean house. Zeus gets sent into the cage a few times to take over but he sends Hogan and Beefcake into the cage to drop both of them. Savage goes up but Beefcake breaks that up as well. The sleeper doesn’t last long on Zeus so the villains send Beefcake and Hogan into the cage a few times each. For some reason Savage and Zeus try to climb over the top, earning stereo suplexes back down.

All four are down so the referee tries to go inside (because he doesn’t understand the rules), allowing Sherri to ram him with the door as well. Sherri gives Savage the chain as he goes to the top of the cage but Beefcake manages to punch him out of the air. Savage and Beefcake fight on the side of the cage until Beefcake escapes and Hulk Hulks Up. With Beefcake dragging Savage out of the cage, Hogan sends Zeus into it a few more times. A slam sets up THREE LEGDROPS (GEEZ) for the pin at 9:44. Jesse: “I don’t believe it, he did it again!”.

Rating: C+. Watching this back, it is the definition of a post show dark match to send the fans home happy as other than Savage jumping off the cage, there really wasn’t anything special to this. Hogan dropping that many legs made it feel big, but the match itself is just pretty good. The nostalgia is strong enough though and Hogan was over like free beer in a frat house, so it’s the definition of good, easy fun.

WWF Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson
Date: September 24, 1979
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Backlund, with Arnold Skaaland, is defending and Patterson’s Intercontinental title isn’t on the line. Vince says that this is the fourth time the two have fought at MSG, apparently the first time a match has happened that many times at the Garden. Backlund starts fast and sends Patterson into the cage a few times as the fans are rather pleased. It’s rather too early for either to escape so Backlund cages him again.

Patterson cuts him off for a change and rams him a few times, only to get caught at the door. With that not working, Patterson tries to climb out so Backlund goes up as well. They slug it out on top until Backlund barely makes a save for a double crash back to the mat. In a change of pace, Patterson goes for the door but gets caught, then goes over the top but gets caught.

What appears to be a foreign object busts Backlund open and Patterson hammers at the cut. Backlund gets up for a hard shot of his own and they’re both down again. Patterson pulls him down so Backlund hits a catapult into the cage to bust him open as well. The atomic drop hits Patterson but he catches Backlund on top. The swing with the foreign object misses but they crash back down anyway. Backlund kicks him away and backs out of the door to retain at 16:41.

Rating: C+. This one took some getting into and it was only so good. They did a lot of the same things over and over and it didn’t exactly work. Backlund was trying here and Patterson was usually good but something was holding them back. Maybe they needed to mix it up a bit but this didn’t get beyond pretty good.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele
Date: July 25, 1970
Location: Philadelphia Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Sammartino is defending and this is the earliest match in the set. There is no commentary here and we see the cage put up by a guy in an undershirt for a weird visual. The ring announcer even tells us what the two of them will be wearing in a smart touch. Bruno starts fast and unloads with those kicks in the corner that he made look very good. The choking is on in the corner as it’s all Bruno to start.

Steele cuts him off from an early exit so Bruno unloads with some ax handles to the chest. A ram into the cage cuts Bruno off for once and the stomping ensues. Bruno manages to kick his way up from the mat (that’s awesome) to take over again and Steele is sent into the steel. Steele is allowed to go up but Bruno pulls him right back down for another crash.

A low blow gets Bruno out of trouble but he’s right back up and hammers Steele in the head. Bruno gets in those big stomps to the head and then chokes away until Steele goes to the eyes. Raking of the face has Bruno gyrating a bit and the fans are all over Steele. The blind Bruno swings away so Steele sends him into the corner for more stomping. Finally Bruno has had enough and just erupts, firing Steele into the cage over and over and stomping away. With Steele properly destroyed, Bruno walks out to retain at 14:34.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a few times before and it’s just fun. The crowd carries it a lot as they are absolutely rabid for Bruno and that comeback at the end had them looking like they were ready to kill Steele. It’s a very different era and they aren’t doing anything more than basic stuff, but my goodness the reactions and energy from Bruno are both great.

Jesse Ventura vs. Tony Atlas
Date: May 22, 1982
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,513
Commentators: Dick Graham, Kal Rudman

As usual, Jesse is great at being a heel, as he walks around the ring and yells at various people, like a villain should. Jesse takes his sweet time getting in and immediately tries to escape, only to be pulled back down to start the beating. Right hands and elbows have Ventura down fast but he blocks some rams into the cage. A headbutt puts him down instead but Ventura is back up with a failed ram of his own.

Ventura cheap shots him and sends Atlas into the cage to bust him open. A bite to the arm and an atomic drop keep Atlas in trouble as commentary is a bit stunned. For some reason it takes Ventura way too long to figure out how to get out of the cage, meaning the beating can be on again. Some rams into the cage bust Ventura open and then does it again to make it worse. Ventura hits him low for a breather but again takes way too long to go out. This time it takes so long that Atlas gets up, hops over the cage and escapes to win at 10:36.

Rating: C+. They were having a good fight until the kind of weird ending, as Atlas just suddenly remembered he had maxed out leaping ability and won. Ventura getting outsmarted, or at least outjumped, was kind of a weird way to go, but at least they had a unique way out. Not a great match, but it was getting good there at times.

Bruno Sammartino/Paul Orndorff vs. Roddy Piper/Bob Orton Jr.
Date: October 26, 1985
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Dick Graham, Gorilla Monsoon

Before the match, Sammartino says he isn’t climbing over the top, but rather walking out the door after he has destroyed Piper and Orton. Yes Sammartino is a little older but he is ready to take these two out.

One more thing: before the match, we hear about next month’s card. This will include:

David Sammartino
Corporal Kirchner
Hercules Hernandez
Hart Foundation vs. Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim
Big John Studd vs. Hillbilly Jim (listed as a correction)
Don Muraco/Mr. Fuji vs. Tito Santana/Ricky Steamboat
King Kong Bundy vs. Andre The Giant

Freaking WOOF man, and the show itself would be even worse.

Anyway, all four are in at once here but in a twist, only one has to escape. It’s a brawl to start and Bruno is busted rather quickly. Orndorff slugs back to take over, including taking Orton’s cast and using it to smash Piper in the head. Piper is busted open and panics as he tries to escape, only to be pulled back inside.

Bruno is back up as well and starts unloading on Piper (as only Bruno can) but a cheap shot takes him down. Everyone is busted and we hit stereo chinlocks (that’s a new one in a cage match) but the good guys are up rather quickly. Orndorff and Orton go up and over at the same time, with Orndorff hitting the ground first for the win at 7:33.

Rating: B-. As has been the case, this was getting somewhere and then it ended before it could turn into something really good. What matters here is that Bruno got to look like a killer again as the awesome Piper vs. Orndorff feud continues. I could go for either combination of this again and that is because there was some awesome talent in there. Good stuff here, but it could have been better.

Post match Orton gets right back in and Bruno is left laying. Because THAT’S a good idea.

Intercontinental Title: Magnificent Muraco vs. Jimmy Snuka
Date: October 17, 1983
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Pat Patterson

You might have heard of this one and Muraco is defending. Before the match, a serious Muraco talks about the experience you need in a cage match and how he is still champion because he is the best.

Snuka’s manager Buddy Rogers talks about how Snuka will win because he is the best.

Snuka promises violence in the cage, as only he can bring.

We get the entrances from the backstage, including the famous fan sign “When Snuka Flies, Muraco Dies.” Snuka checks the cage and looks up, with a certain Hardcore Legend Mick Foley clearly seen in the crowd after hitch hiking because he had to see this match in person. Snuka goes right after him to start and chops against the ropes but a catapult sends him into the cage.

Another shot puts Muraco back down and Snuka goes up, but Muraco knows what that means and cuts him off quick. A slam off the top brings Snuka back down, followed by a low blow to keep him down. Back up and Snuka’s chops bust Muraco open to make it even worst. The middle rope forearm to the head sets up a flying headbutt….and Muraco goes sprawling through the door to retain at 6:46.

Rating: C+. Oddly enough, for one of the most famous moments ever in wrestling, the match is pretty much nothing. Muraco was terrified of letting Snuka get up top and then absolutely lucked his way into retaining. Snuka was so obsessed with violence and revenge that he kind of screwed himself over, but you could feel the intensity here, which is one of the places where Snuka often shined.

Snuka isn’t having that and pulls Muraco back in for a suplex. Then he climbs the cage and, in one of the most famous shots in WWF history, dives off with the splash to END Muraco (who sells it perfectly and doesn’t move an inch). Snuka drops the belt on him and poses before leaving.

Post match, Muraco’s manager Lou Albano says that Muraco is hurt but not destroyed. Muraco survived the most dangerous move in wrestling history and Albano goes on a rant about how Muraco fell out of the door COMPLETELY on purpose because he’s that smart.

Overall Rating: B-. The overall rating doesn’t mean much here as it’s just a random assortment of matches but there really isn’t a great one on here. A lot of these are rather short but what matters is how much the energy is cranked up. This was about beating the fire out of each other and it did show just how intense things can get when the cage is involved. Good enough stuff here, and I’ve got more than enough of these for a few extra volumes, which sounds rather appealing.

 

 

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 13, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

It’s the second episode and there is one simple question: how many times can Ernie Ladd use the terms “without a doubt” or “without a shadow of a doubt”? Last time was roughly 47 each in a show that didn’t even last an hour so he could get in his two statements dozens more time if he puts his mind to trying. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick host intro.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Funks vs. George Steele/Junkyard Dog

Unfortunately it’s Jimmy Jack instead of Terry (with Jimmy Hart). Slightly more fortunately, Steele and Dog have Lou Albano with them. After Steele stops to eat a turnbuckle, Dog fires off some headbutts to clear out the Funks again. We actually start with Hoss (Dory) being rammed into the corner as Albano gives us an inset interview to talk about Steele and Dog working together well because they’re so different. He goes on so long that the inset window goes away mid sentence, which might be the best idea.

Steele gets taken into the corner as commentary bickers incessantly. It’s off to Dog for an awkward collision with Jimmy Jack in the corner and let’s try some hogtying! Steele makes the save with a chair and it’s a belly to back suplex to finish Jimmy Jack at 2:19. Somehow this was bad even in such a short amount of time.

Post match Jimmy Jack gets hogtied for fun. Then the winners, including Albano, dance as we get a referee (ignore the one count coming before Dog had the cover).

This week’s Wrestler’s Rebuttal is from the Hart Foundation, who don’t like being called nasty boys. They’ve been called Beer Belly and Greaseball but Bret says they’re the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Dang he got that one in earlier than I thought.

Kamala vs. Mario Mancini

Kamala (or Kamalee according to Lord Alfred Hayes) has Wizard and Kim Chee with him. After taking a good bit of time to get rid of his stuff, Kamala chops away on Mancini, even after he’s already down. The inset promo from the Wizard (identified as Curtis Iaukea by Monsoon) talks about getting a monster in Singapore as the squash continues. A kick to the ribs sets up more chops and the splash finishes Mancini at 1:59.

Captain Lou Albano talks about his psychologists/gynecologists (right) working with George Steele. Intelligence aside, he has the heart of a lion and knows every move. He may not use them, but he knows them you see. Steele grew up with a lisp but had a steel plate put over his tongue in a failed attempt to cure his speech impediment. Now he’s fighting….multiple sclerosis? Well that got serious quickly. Steele says he was told to be vicious, so he’ll do be vicious to Randy Savage.

Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke vs. Jack Kruger/Joe Mirto

The Hillbillies get jumped from behind to start but get cleared out without much trouble. Jim beats on Mirto as we hear from Jimmy Hart, who is sending his boys after the Hillbillies because he doesn’t like country music. Luke slams Mirto but misses an elbow, allowing Kruger to come in. Ladd says Luke’s tennis shoes are called “burglar boots” where he’s from as Luke fights up and brings Jim back in. A double slam sets up a bearhug to finish Kruger at 2:37. Hillbilly Jim was fun but adding in his relatives dragged the act down fast.

Interviewer Ken Resnick talks about how many great teams there are here and brings in the undefeated Rougeaus. They want to face every team to get their hands on the British Bulldogs for the Tag Team Titles. They inspire each other and while they respect the Bulldogs, they like the titles more. Both of them are a bit chatty but they were a fine team.

Honky Tonk Man is coming soon and talks about going out dancing last night with the 57 Chevy top down. He wants Paul Orndorff too. This gimmick as a face is an all time WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moment.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Roger Kirby

Steamboat leapfrogs him a few times to start but gets hiptossed for his efforts. The armdrags into an armbar put Kirby down and that works so well that Steamboat does it again. An atomic drop gets Kirby out of trouble and he kind of awkwardly kicks at Steamboat in what might have been a bit of miscommunication. Steamboat can’t chop out of the corner but he can ram Kirby into the buckle. Kirby is fine enough to knock him into the ropes though and Steamboat’s leg gets tied up. Back in and Steamboat slides between the legs, hits a slam, and finishes with the high crossbody at 4:23.

Rating: C-. This was a bit of a weird one as Steamboat was beaten up more than you would have expected him to be. That being said, I could watch Steamboat all day as there are very few people who can make wrestling look so smooth. That slide through the legs and high crossbody looked great and Steamboat is one of the only few who can pull that off.

We go to the Snake Pit with Hillbilly Jim as this week’s guest. Jake talks about putting together one of his mom’s recipes but Jim isn’t impressed. Instead, Jake tells him to stomp twice if he doesn’t understand him. Jim says he’ll stay quiet and let the fools talk. They trade witty expressions (Jake’s is about a bird and Jim says sometimes the lights are on but no one is home). This was a weird one even by Jake standards.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Billy Jack Hayes/Paul Roma

Hayes can’t get anywhere with Studd so we’ll go with an insert promo from Harley Race, who brags about being a king. Studd has to block some slam attempts and hands it off to Bundy for an elbow to the face. The splash misses in the corner though and Roma comes in to clean house. That must last for a full seven seconds before Bundy hits the Avalanche in the corner for the pin at 2:34.

Corporal Kirchner/Jim Powers/Salvatore Bellomo vs. Hercules/Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Slick and Freddie Blassie are here with the villains. It’s a big brawl to start as the Americans break up the Russian national anthem (which earned some trash in the ring). We settle down to Sheik suplexing Bellomo and Hercules coming in to knee Powers in the ribs. As commentary suggests that Slick has an army of ladies of the evening in his employment, Sheik hits a running crotch attack to the back of the neck. We get an insert promo from Billy Graham, talking about his chimney being made of human skulls. With that out of the way, Hercules torture racks Powers for the win at 2:54.

Jimmy Hart and the Hart Foundation don’t like being called nasty boys. They’ve been accused of cheating and insist it is their skill/muscle that make them great. They’re coming for the British Bulldogs.

Here’s who’s coming next week.

Here is your musical review to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C. They keep this show moving and that is a lot of fun every time. It is great to see the show have so much packed into about 45 minutes as opposed to one thing dominating the show. This was another easy to watch show and we’re inching closer to some of the biggest stuff the WWF will ever do, so it’s just getting started.

 

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Prime Time Wrestling
Date: June 17, 1987
Hosts: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Dick Graham, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon, Bruno Sammartino

Oh boy it’s Prime Time. This was one of the big shows from the WWF, as it featured various matches from major house shows. That might not sound like much, but at the time, this was a pretty awesome deal. What makes it better is Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan as the hosts, giving us the legendary banter that made them one of the best duos of all time. This is from my favorite era in wrestling so hopefully I can have some fun with some of these. Let’s get to it.

This is a special Wednesday edition (as opposed to Monday) and dig that old desk with the old WWF toys!

Gorilla and Heenan (in a neck brace) welcome us to the show and run down the card, with Gorilla saying Brutus Beefcake could give Heenan a trim. Heenan says there is no way he’ll get back in the ring, even after his neck heals. To the ring!

From May 9, 1987 in at the Philadelphia Spectrum.

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Man these guys were fighting more than a year ago at Wrestlemania II. Kirschner charges the ring to prevent the Russian National Anthem and gets hit with the flag pole for his efforts. Kirschner comes back in and hammers away as Graham is already a bit rough to sit through. It’s like his voice is in slow motion. Volkoff gets in a cheap shot and ties him into the Tree of Woe (In 1987?) for a running knee to the ribs.

That’s enough for Kirschner to need a breather on the floor, with Volkoff following for a slam. A running knee keeps Kirschner outside and it works so well that Volkoff does it again. The third attempt earns Volkoff a crotching against the post and we take a break (with Monsoon and Heenan chiming in for a few seconds).

Back with no time having passed and Kirschner dropping a leg between the legs, plus a middle rope elbow for two. Volkoff is back up with a spinning kick to the ribs and a drop across the top like an evil Russian would. Some whips into the corner set up a bearhug (as is Volkoff’s custom), followed by a quick bow and arrow to stay on the back. That’s broken up so Kirschner dropkicks him to the floor and follows him out to hammer away. Back in and an elbow drop gives Kirschner two but he misses a charge into the corner. Volkoff is right back up with the gorilla press backbreaker for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D+. This was pretty rough as they seemed to run out of things to do to each other by the end. It’s not like these two were exactly cut out for a longer match and it didn’t work out all that well in this case. Kirschner wasn’t exactly great in the ring, but he was so tough that no one was going to tell him no. You don’t get many people like that, but he was kind of done when he replaced Sgt. Slaughter but was a lower rank.

Bobby Heenan thinks Kirschner never had a chance but Monsoon doesn’t buy it. Monsoon moves on to Heenan signing the Islanders, which has Heenan rather proud. That makes sense to Monsoon, because Heenan is going to take all of their money.

It’s time for….a segment that doesn’t seem to have a name but tells you what is going on at the moment. We open with the Islanders having a technical match with the Can-Am Connection until Heenan showed up, which caused the Islanders to beat the fire out of them. A headbutt from the apron knocked Tom Zenk silly for a countout and Heenan was rather pleased.

Heenan is all fired up about his new team and wants the Tag Team Titles. Heenan: “I’VE DONE IT AGAIN!”

Back in the studio, Monsoon asks why Heenan has to turn everything into a big deal and why he couldn’t just say he has signed the team. Heenan says he likes the shock value, which sends Monsoon into a video on Superstar Billy Graham trying to learn how to walk again after a variety of injuries. Heenan can’t help it and goes into a series of jokes about how Graham can’t sue anyone because he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

We go to the Arizona desert where Graham is moving around on a walker, as he talks about how he needs to get back. We also see him going through some rather tough physical therapy but Graham has insisted that he’ll be back.

Monsoon and Heenan talk about a FREE calendar you can get….if you’re one of 100 post cards they select. This was a move they would do every now and then to restock their mailing list and it’s kind of brilliant.

I think this is from May 13, 1987 at the Sports Arena in San Diego, California but it’s not clear. It also seems to be from Wrestling Challenge, which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for Prime Time.

New Dream Team vs. Young Stallions

The New Dream Team (Dino Bravo/Greg Valentine) have Johnny V in their corner. Bravo drives Roma into the corner to start but he’s right back up with a dropkick, meaning the Dream Team needs a breather on the floor. We get a quick inset promo from the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers promising to be everywhere the Dream Team goes. Except here it seems.

Back in and Valentine takes over on Roma, including a suplex for two. A middle rope ax handle to the back sets up a jumping elbow for two but Valentine misses his big forearm. The hot tag brings in Powers to clean house, only to have Bravo get in a cheap shot from the apron. Valentine drops an elbow for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. Well that was short. This wasn’t much of a match as it was mainly the Dream Team beating on Roma until Powers got to come in for a few seconds at the end. Commentary was hyping up the Stallions as future stars and then they just lose. I get that the Dream Team was new, but it was a weird way to go given the commentary.

Heenan is glad the Dream Team got rid of Brutus Beefcake but Monsoon doesn’t think Heenan’s memory is quite right.

Ken Patera is happy that he is out of prison and has paid his debt to society. Now all he wants is a second chance but that isn’t going to include Bobby Heenan. While Patera was in jail, Heenan was nowhere to be seen because weasels don’t make it through tough times.

Heenan says he doesn’t feel sorry for Patera (who put him in the neck brace), because Patera is the one who landed himself in jail. That ended their relationship and Heenan doesn’t care what happened to Patera’s family. Now Patera is blaming him, so Heenan will be taking care of him soon.

From the Philadelphia Spectrum on May 9.

Pedro Morales vs. Steve Lombardi

It’s weird seeing Lombardi without a shirt. Said shirtless Lombardi runs away from Morales to start as Pedro is all fired up (as is his custom). Back in and Lombardi forearms away, earning himself a slam from Morales. That’s enough for Lombardi to bail to the floor again as more breathing is needed. Back in again and Morales hits another slam, meaning Lombardi heads outside for the third time in less than three minutes.

Lombardi gets in again and this time claims a sore back to stall even more. Therefore we pause for some stretching before Lombardi misses a right hand and gets atomic dropped out to the floor (again). This time Lombardi comes back in with a rake to the eyes and a ram into the buckle but commentary isn’t buying Lombardi as a threat. On cue, Morales hits him in the ribs and adds a backdrop, setting up a backbreaker for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: D. This was a good example of a match that worked well for the live crowd but wasn’t much if you’re not a big Morales fan. It’s also a lesson in how to get through a match without doing much, as this was more than half Lombardi stalling on the floor. They didn’t bother trying to do anything more than the minimum here, which wasn’t the most thrilling stuff. The live fans seemed to like it though and that was the point of something like this.

Monsoon is glad that Heenan wasn’t around as a manager when he was in the ring. He knows Heenan would dump any of his clients at the drop of a hat, just like Patera. As you might expect, Heenan shrugs off the suggestions and we move on.

From the Convention Center in Anaheim, California on May 12, 1987. This seems to be from the June 6 Superstars.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Tim Patterson

Monsoon and Heenan make Pat Patterson/Terry Garvin jokes about Patterson in their intro for the not so subtle jabs. Brutus gets his own inset promo, promising to give the New Dream Team another cut. Patterson gets punched and slammed down to start as commentary talks about Beefcake’s gear. Vince: “Barbers are a little eccentric in general aren’t they?” The beating continues as commentary talks about Honky Tonk Man getting an undeserved Intercontinental Title shot next week. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere. Patterson fights back with some running shoulders but Beefcake is back with the sleeper at 2:40.

Post match, Patterson gets a haircut, possibly for taking a long time to go down from the sleeper.

Monsoon and Heenan bicker over how legitimate of a neck injury Heenan really has.

Gene Okerlund talks to Slick, who has quite the fashion sense. Slick says Gene has high class opinions of high class people and calls Gene “Holmes” before threatening to smack him in the head. Nikolai Volkoff and Butch Reed come in, with Slick saying they are the best of the best around. Reed thinks there are some jive turkeys running around here like Tito Santana and Junkyard Dog. Those people are trying to take money from him, and he gets mean when he has money. Volkoff thinks Americans should be proud that he is here in America. Buy Russian war bonds! This is still one of the oddest groupings ever and it’s great.

From the San Diego Sports Arena, May 13, 1987.

Don Muraco/Bob Orton Jr. vs. Sivi Afi/Corporal Kirschner

Mr. Fuji is here with Muraco and Orton and why are we getting two Kirschner matches on one show? Afi shoves Orton outside to start and it’s time for an early breather. Back in and Afi no sells some rams into the buckle (he’s foreign so he has a hard head you see) so it’s off to Kirschner. This means a discussion of being drafted, with Heenan saying he was 3Q, meaning too smart for the military. He could have been a six star general if he had actually gone in though, which Monsoon somehow manages to no sell.

Orton sends Kirschner outside and a distraction lets Muraco get in a cane shot to take over. A top rope shot to the back drops Kirschner again as Monsoon talks about how Kirschner has been pretty worthless as of late. It’s back to Afi, who gets taken down with a neckbreaker but comes right back with a high crossbody.

Kirschner gets to come in and glare at Muraco, setting up a clothesline. A dropkick sends Muraco over to Orton, who cuts Kirschner off with an atomic drop as Heenan praises the villains’ intelligence (kind of his thing). Muraco sends Kirschner into an elbow from Orton but it’s off to Afi anyway. The pace picks up for all of ten seconds before Muraco charges into a powerslam. What would become known as the Tombstone finishes Afi at 7:19.

Rating: D+. Muraco and Orton weren’t going to be the top team but they were fine as a pair of villains to give an up and coming team some trouble. That wasn’t exactly what they had here, making this a fairly long and not entirely squashy squash. Then again, what are you expecting from the forces of Afi and Kirschner?

Monsoon likes the new WWF Magazine, including a look at Ken Patera. Heenan wants to know where the prison number is.

Monsoon and Heenan introduce a women’s tag match and Heenan has no idea who they are.

From the Boston Garden on March 8, 1986.

Crush Girls vs. Donna Christianello/Judy Martin

Well this is a surprise. The Crush Girls (normally Gals) are Lioness Asuka/Chigusa Nagayo and in short, Christianello/Martin are going to be in a lot of pain. Nagayo isn’t having any of this getting hammerlocked thing and takes Christianello down into a hammerlock of her own. It’s back to Martin, who has to avoid Asuka’s kick to the head. Asuka gets the better of an exchange of kicks to the ribs and it’s a very fast sunset flip for two.

Christianello comes back in for a front facelock but a forearm sends Asuka over to Nagayo as Hayes can’t keep track of these names. An elbow to the head sends Martin outside and she looks rather scared of what she’s gotten herself into. Back in and Christianello offers a handshake, which of course suckers Asuka in so the villains can take over. We take a break and come back with Martin elbowing Asuka in the face, only to have her nip right back up.

Nagayo comes back in but gets kicked in the chest for a quick knockdown. Some choking in the corner has Nagayo in more trouble as commentary brags about all of the international media here. A few right hands allow the tag off to Asuka though and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. Asuka dropkicks Martin and hits a slam for two as the beating is on.

Nagayo gets on the middle rope so she can be tagged in (you know Monsoon isn’t having that) and it’s a Sharpshooter as Monsoon can’t remember if Nagayo is a tiger or a lioness (with Hayes having to make the save). Asuka accidentally clotheslines Nagayo down but they’re both back up for a double punch (I think?) to Martin’s ribs. A bunch of elbows keep Martin….well not really in trouble as she pops up to hit Asuka in the face. Christianello comes in and gets caught in a giant swing for the pin at 15:31.

Rating: C+. This is such an odd match, not just for the participants but also the fact that it got some serious time. You don’t see modern women’s matches breaking fifteen minutes but here you have this one, in 1986 no less, getting far more time than anything else on the show. Martin and Christianello weren’t exactly a seasoned team like the Girls, but dang this was a fun surprise.

Heenan claims to be on the phone with the Crush Girls before moving on to this week’s main event. Monsoon asks what George Steele has to do to get by Kamala, and Heenan suggests buying a machine gun. Or give up during the instructions. Then the Hogan figure on the desk falls over, which Heenan says is how he’ll be kneeling before King Harley Race. That’s the kind of quick wit that made Heenan a legend.

From the Philadelphia Spectrum on May 9.

Kamala vs. George Steele

Kim Chee and Mr. Fuji are here with Kamala. Steele looks confused (as is his nature) but he knows to avoid a charging Kamala as the bell rings. A few right hands put Kamala on the floor and it’s time for an early breather. Kim Chee gives some instructions (“Don’t look directly at the hairy chest.”) and Steele scares Kamala right back into the ropes. Steele starts poking at Kamala, who runs off again as this isn’t exactly an action packed spectacle.

Back in and Steele destroys a turnbuckle so Kamala runs away from the pieces of padding. Kim Chee’s distraction finally lets Kamala get in a shot from behind and Steele goes shoulder first into the exposed buckle. Since Kamala doesn’t quite know how to follow up, Steele grabs a foreign object to knock Kamala silly. Another Kim Chee distraction, this time in the form of a trip, lets Kamala hit a splash but a top rope version misses. Steele, ever the easily distracted one, chases Kim Chee off and that’s a countout at 6:03.

Rating: D+. I know it wasn’t very good and was little more than a comedy match, but this was the kind of goofy fun that I like from a show like this one. This was a lot better than seeing these two try to have a regular match and it’s nice to see that they understood the limitations they were under. Not a good match, but it was entertaining in a wacky way.

Post match Steele comes back with Kim Chee’s cane and pith helmet. He hits Kamala in the ribs with one and puts another on his head. I’m assuming you know which is which.

Heenan doesn’t think much of Steele but Monsoon isn’t convinced.

Try to get that calendar!

Heenan wants to tell us what’s coming next Wednesday but finds out that they’re going back to the regular Monday time to mess with him one more time.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: C-. Prime Time Wrestling isn’t a show you often go to for classic action, but I had a great time with this. It was the big show of its day and you could see some of the top stars and goings on of the time. I’ll be doing some more of these, just for the sake of having some fun. That’s what wrestling is often supposed to be and that’s what I was getting out of this, despite it not having the best wrestling in the world.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

This is basically three miniature shows combined into one big card. Each city would have its live action and then they would get to watch the shows from the other cities. It’s not the best idea in the world but like I said, there’s only so much they can do with the position they’re in. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

Roddy Piper is ready for his boxing match and has trainer Lou Duva (who trained names such as Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield) in his corner. Piper says he’ll quit everything from wrestling to tiddlywinks to dating girls if Mr. T. can knock him out. He won’t quite Bob Orton of course. However, even if Mr. T. knocks him out, he’ll never, and I quote, “shave his head like an Indian and paint himself black.”

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Muraco is a heel technician who was a very good hand in the ring. This is fallout from last year as Orndorff took the fall in the main event and Piper has sent Muraco to get some revenge. They trade slams to start and the crowd is already white hot. Orndorff is nice enough to make a slant eyes gesture at Muraco’s manager Mr. Fuji. Orndorff takes him down again as Susan St. James (an actress) is staying with this on commentary but clearly has almost no idea who these people are.

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Rating: D. This had no time to go anywhere and I have no idea who thought this was the right way to open a show. I mean, it’s Wrestlemania. It’s ok to actually have a fall here instead of trying to set something up for later. The match wasn’t even any good and that’s not how you want to set the tone for one of the biggest shows of the year.

Mr. T. says he’s fighting for his friend the Haiti Kid, whose hair was cut by Piper and Orton. Fink’s announcement of the double countout drowns out a lot of his words.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Steele, a crazy bald man with an incredibly hairy torso, is challenging and is totally in love with Savage’s manager Elizabeth. Savage debuted last year and has taken the company by storm, including taking the Intercontinental Title from Tito Santana earlier in the year. Randy goes to the floor to start before running again from Steele’s waving arms. He runs again and we’re waiting on the first contact nearly a minute in.

Savage isn’t fast enough this time though and George bites his leg as the champion tries to get back inside. Back in and Steele looks at Elizabeth, allowing Savage to hit him in the back and get two off a high cross body. That’s not a move you often see from Savage. Steele throws him to the floor so the champ crawls under the ring and comes around to the other side for a knee to George’s back. That’s fine with George as he bites Savage’s arm and takes over again.

Randy bails to the floor and finds a bouquet of flowers but George shoves them in his face. This is a really uneven comedy match so far and it gets even worse as Steele goes to eat a turnbuckle but opts to shove the stuffing in Savage’s face instead. Steele goes after Elizabeth at ringside, allowing Randy to ax handle him off the apron. Back in and the top rope elbow gets…..two? That’s a very, very rare kickout but it doesn’t matter as Savage rolls him up and throws his feet on the ropes to retain at 7:08.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts is another newcomer and this is the high point of Wells’ career. George grabs a quick backdrop to start and Jake can barely stand up. They head outside (notice Jake sliding out like a snake) for more punishment to Jake, followed by a nice flying shoulder from George (ex-pro football player) back inside. Wells knocks him into the ropes but opts not to cover. A good looking powerslam gets two on Jake but he comes back with a thumb to the eye. Jake slides to the floor and gets George to chase him back inside, setting up the DDT for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D+. This is probably the best match of the night so far and it’s just a step above a regular TV match. Jake was clearly going to be something interesting long term but he was still establishing himself at this point. Well could have been any given warm body here and that’s still a normal spot to have on these early Wrestlemanias.

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper, which started up again after Mr. T. won a boxing match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Piper wanted to fight him next but Bob Orton helped Piper beat him down instead.

Out in Los Angeles, Hulk Hogan is ready for King Kong Bundy in the cage because he doesn’t like people who take shortcuts. This show is all over the place so far.

We introduce the celebrities for the boxing match. Comedienne Joan Rivers is guest ring announcer and introduces NBA star Darryl Dawkins, singer Cab Calloway and Watergate participant G. Gordon Liddy. Herbert, a character in Burger King commercials at the time, is guest timekeeper. There are no words to describe the drop from Liberace, Billy Martin and Muhammad Ali to…..this.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Boxing match. Piper has Lou Duva as his trainer and Mr. T. has Joe Frazier. They circle each other to start with Mr. T. hiding behind his gloves and bobbing away from Piper’s punches. The referee keeps having to break up their brawls against the ropes and not a lot has happened so far. Both guys get in a few quick flurries before the first round wraps up.

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Between rounds, Orton throws water at Mr. T. in the corner because he’s a villain like that. Mr. T. starts the round well as he basically shoves Piper down into the corner with some punches thrown in as bonuses. Roddy is up at eight so they shove each other, followed by a big left that clearly barely made contact but knocks Piper all the way out to the floor anyway. Back up and the round ends with little else happening.

Piper throws his stool at Mr. T. to start round four and they stand there trading bombs for a bit. Piper starts getting the better of it including a huge right hand that knocks out Mr. T.’s mouthpiece. Mr. T. does the same as St. James wants this to stop. As do the fans now as they’re cheering for Piper. With nothing else working, Piper slams Mr. T. down and it’s a DQ because of course it is.

Rating: D+. As fake as the punches clearly were, this was actually pretty entertaining at times due to how hard they were hitting each other. On top of that, I’ll take this over Mr. T. trying to wrestle again because that could have been an even bigger disaster. This was your standard boxing match on a wrestling show and that’s all they could have done here.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending. McIntyre is an Irish wrestler who was one of the more popular women in the division in the 80s. Moolah hair drags her around to start but McIntyre comes back with some one footed dropkicks. Velvet misses a middle rope splash though and Moolah gets the pin at 59 seconds. It’s not entirely clear why this ended so fast but Velvet’s top might have snapped on that landing. You can definitely see Velvet adjusting her top which looks very loose. She gets out of the ring very quickly as well.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

This is a flag match meaning the winner gets to wave his country’s flag. Kirchner is considered one of wrestling’s all time toughest guys and would wind up wrestling in Japan under the name Leatherface. Volkoff throws him to the floor to start and posts the Corporal before biting his forehead. Back in and Kirchner hammers away (with the ring being VERY loud for some reason, as it was back in the same arena at the Wrestling Classic) but the referee goes down. With the distraction, Volkoff’s manager Freddie Blassie throws in his cane, only to have Kirchner intercept it and knock Volkoff out for the pin at 1:35.

Gene Okerlund does the ring introductions for the battle royal. This match has its own celebrities with Clara Peller (starred in Wendy’s ads) as timekeeper and Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus and Dallas Cowboy Too Tall Jones as guest referees.

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

I’m not going to bother listing off who most of these wrestlers are because most of them aren’t going to mean a thing here. As you can see, the NFL players are a bit outnumbered. Ernie Ladd, former football star and future WWE Hall of Famer, joins commentary in a smart move. It’s a wild brawl to start as is often the case in a battle royal. Covert saves Perry from elimination but is put out along with King Tonga a few seconds later.

Francis thinks it’s a good idea to go after Andre and only barely slides back in from the apron. Bruno dumps Holmes out and it’s Andre vs. Studd to a nice reaction. Someone eliminates Brunzell and the ring is starting to clean out a bit. Perry tosses Atlas to a BIG pop and then goes to fight with Studd. Morales and Martin go out at the same time and nearly get in a fight at ringside.

Arcidi is put out and Spivey is gone a few seconds later. There go Hillbilly Jim and Blair, followed by Fralic a few seconds later. Sammartino throws out the Sheik and we’re down to Andre, Francis, Studd, Sammartino, Hart, Neidhart and Perry. Things can finally slow down after several minutes of just random eliminations. Studd tosses Bruno and actually puts Andre down in the corner.

Perry EXPLODES at the Hart Foundation and knocks them out to the apron. The fans are all excited but Perry charges into Studd’s elbow and gets hiptossed out. Perry offers a handshake but suckers Studd in by pulling him out to the floor to get the people going all over again. Francis tries to fight the Harts by himself but eats a headbutt from Andre. A double dropkick ties Andre up in the ropes and Francis is easily tossed out.

So it’s Andre, Neidhart and Hart and I don’t see this going well for the normal sized guys. Andre kicks both of them out of the corner, grabs Neidhart by the beard, kicks him in the face and puts him out. Bret tries to come in off the top and gets tossed out with ease to give Andre the win at 9:03.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine and are defending. The Bulldogs are Davey Boy Smith (also known as the British Bulldog) and Dynamite Kid, who are managed by Lou Albano and have Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for no apparent reason. Even Gorilla doesn’t seem to know why he’s out there. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey cranking on the arm.

It’s quickly off to Dynamite as things speed up, including a big shoulder to knock Valentine into the corner. Greg comes back with a suplex but Smith comes in to scare Valentine out to the floor. Back in and Valentin gets in a headbutt to the ribs and tags out to Beefcake for the first time. Beefcake is quickly press slammed and it’s back to Dynamite for a hard clothesline.

Brutus finally drags Davey off to the corner and makes the tag off to Greg, who comes in off the top with a forearm to the back. That’s some good heel tag team work and it’s as successful as always. Dynamite comes in anyway though and it’s time for some hard forearms and shoulders in the corner. A backbreaker gets two on Valentine with Brutus having to make the save. It’s not often that you see a tag match stay even this long but this was before the Rock and Roll Express vs. Midnight Express had created the classic tag team formula.

Valentine comes back with a piledriver (where he picked him up for a traditional version but kneeled forward like a tombstone) for two but he crotches himself on the Kid’s knees. Everything breaks down and the powerslam plants Valentine for two. Davey misses a charge into the post though and the champs start in on the arm.

A hammerlock slam and a top rope elbow onto the shoulder have Davey in even more trouble and Valentine gets two off a shoulder breaker. For some reason he pulls Smith up at two and Okerlund thinks it’s going to come back and haunt him. As he says this, Dynamite gets on the middle rope and sticks his head out. Smith rams Valentine head first into the Kid’s head, knocking Dynamite down onto the floor but knocking Greg out cold for the pin and the titles at 12:03.

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Albano and Osbourne celebrate as the Bulldogs remember what planet they’re on. Kid can’t talk or stand as he’s still recovering from having being knocked off the middle rope and down onto the floor with no one to catch him. That’s a scary bump and it’s no shock that his body gave out on him so soon after this.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Hernandez is better known simply as Hercules and is a big power guy as you would expect. Hercules jumps him from behind to start but Ricky comes back with a big chop. It’s time for the armdrags from Steamboat and he cranks on an armbar as is so often his custom. Back up and an elbow to the jaw drops Hercules and it’s off to the arm again. Hercules finally realizes that his name is Hercules and clotheslines Ricky’s head off before driving some hard knees into the side of his head.

There’s a Stun Gun for no cover as Elvira is proving to be the most worthless commentator of all time as she just babbles about how she’s never seen anything like this before. Hercules returns the back elbow to the jaw and gorilla presses Ricky twice in a row. Ricky raises his knees to stop a top rope splash (way out of character for Hercules) and finishes with the high cross body at 7:34.

Rating: D+. This was a standard power vs. speed match which could have been worse but still wasn’t anything worth seeing. Hernandez was a one dimensional wrestler which made him a good foil for someone like Steamboat who could mix up his offense enough to figure out a way around the power. It’s a fine match but really nothing out of the ordinary.

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis is a flamboyant guy in a pink dress and make-up while Elmer is a 400+lb hillbilly. They’re not exactly going with the high brow ideas here. Elmer attacks to start and sends Adrian to the floor with a single forearm. Adrian rips the ring skirt off and manager Jimmy Hart is beside himself. Elmer pulls Adonis to the apron and starts ripping off the dress. You knew they were going here eventually. A big punch to Elmer’s chest puts him down and Adonis takes off the dress to reveal regular trunks. Elmer comes back with a corner splash but he misses a legdrop, allowing Adonis to drop a top rope headbutt/splash for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: F. This is the kind of stuff I can’t stand in wrestling. Adonis and Elmer are two of the most basic, stereotypical characters they could have put together and it looks stupid. This catered to the lowest common denominator and that’s never the kind of wrestling you want to have. It doesn’t help that the match was awful.

Adonis puts a bow on Elmer’s back.

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The Funks are Terry/Hoss (better known as Dory Jr.) and they’re managed by Jimmy Hart. Dog and Hoss get things going but Terry is quickly dragged inside so Dog can slam both brothers. Things settle down to Tito vs. Terry but both Funks are quickly dropkicked out to the floor. Back in again and it’s Dog ramming Terry’s face into the buckle several times as this has been one sided so far. It’s off to Dory vs. Tito with the Funks finally taking over but Tito comes back with the flying forearm for two.

Terry sends him out to the floor for some stomps from Hart and Elvira rants about how Hart needs to be ejected, sounding like someone who has never watched wrestling in her life. Back in and Tito reverses a suplex into one of his own as Elvira wants some trunks ripped off. Terry misses a legdrop and it’s off to the Dog for more headbutts. House is cleaned and Terry gets backdropped over the top. Dog slams him onto a table and busts up Terry’s leg. Everything breaks down and Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin at 11:43.

Rating: B-. Fun match here with the Funks working very well together against the always entertaining Tito and the always charismatic Dog. It seemed that they were setting the Funks up as a potential challenge to the Bulldogs but they wouldn’t be around long. This was a nice tag match though and one of the best things on the card.

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

To fill in some more time, we see King Kong Bundy attacking Hogan on a Saturday Night’s Main Event and injuring the champ’s ribs to set this up. It’s really not much of a storyline and it was only set up about a month in advance. With the talent they had on the roster (Savage, Roberts and Piper), this really is a questionable opponent for Hogan.

The doctor has recommended that Hogan doesn’t wrestle. As his ribs are being taped, Hogan puts a 100lb dumbbell around his neck and does chin-ups.

Bobby Heenan talks about how important a day this is for him because he’s going to get to pack the World Title in Bundy’s suitcase tonight. Bundy promises to send Hogan to the hospital all over again.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

Time for the celebrities. Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda is guest ring announcer, actor Ricky Schroder is timekeeper and Robert Conrad is outside referee, meaning he won’t be doing much of anything.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan is defending inside a cage (the big blue one in one of its earliest, if not the earliest, appearances) of course. Big pop for the champ as you would expect. They slug it out to start with Hogan knocking him into the ropes and nailing the big boot early on. This has already gone on longer than Bundy’s match last year. Hogan fires off a forearm in the corner which I don’t think I’ve ever seen him use before.

Bundy can’t ram him into the cage so he FINALLY goes after the taped up ribs. He slams Hogan to the mat and steps on his head as we go to an overhead shot. Hulk has to dive across the ring to keep Bundy from getting out so Bundy rams him back first into the cage. There goes the tape and Elvira is happy about more clothes coming off. Bundy chokes with the tape. Elvira: “He can’t do that can he?” Ventura is clearly getting annoyed at having to explain basic concepts like “there are no rules” to her over and over.

Hogan comes back with more right hands and sends Bundy face first into the cage to bust him open. Bundy gets choked on the ropes but Hogan, ever the moron, falls backwards trying a slam. That’s still not enough though as Hogan chokes with the tape, only to eat the big splashes that busted up the ribs in the first place.

We get the Hogan “fish out of the water” shaking but he still gets over to save the title again. Hogan gets all fired up again and powerslams Bundy (that’s very rare as it’s almost always a regular slam) before kicking him out of the corner. Heenan’s save fails miserable and Hogan climbs down (Elvira: “All right he’s gonna win!”) to retain at 10:18.

Rating: D+. It’s not a good match and Elvira made it insufferable but Hogan vs. a monster in the 80s is as much of a layup as you’re going to find in these early years. Bundy might have been considered a bigger threat back in the day but this felt like any given house show loop and a match that these two probably had a few dozen times around the country.

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: this is one of the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. That being said, I always give this one a bit of a pass as they had no idea what they had with Wrestlemania or even pay per view in general. This felt like a bunch of house shows clipped down and edited together into one big one and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. Hogan vs. Bundy is a very run of the mill main event but some of the tag matches are entertaining enough. The match is far more dull and lame than bad, but that doesn’t make it something fun to watch.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is one of those ideas that they tried once and only once before never thinking about doing it again. After the success of Wrestlemania, the idea was that Wrestlemania 2 had to be bigger, so Vince came up with the idea of splitting it into three cities. This show is widely considered to be one of if not the worst Wrestlemania of all time and with main events such as Piper vs. Mr. T. in a boxing match and Hogan vs. Bundy in a cage it’s not hard to see why. Let’s get to it.

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Roddy Piper and his trainer for the fight Lou Duva (famous boxing trainer) say Piper is ready. Piper promises to quit wrestling and boxing if he gets knocked out. He’ll also quick playing tiddlywinks and dating girls, but he’ll stick with Bob Orton of course. Those two spent WAY too much time together.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

This is fallout from the main event of Mania last year as Orndorff turned face due to Piper and Orton leaving him behind. Muraco is an associate of Piper so this is kind of a proxy feud for Paul. Muraco has Fuji with him too. Both guys say they’ll win in a voiceover as the match starts. Paul slams Muraco down to start and the crowd is already hot. Orndorff makes a slant eyes face at Fuji which today would get him thrown out of the company. In 1986, he was making $20,000 a week later in the year. It’s funny how times change.

Paul takes him down to the mat with an armbar as Susan St. James clearly has no idea what’s going on. She’s trying but this isn’t something she knows about at all it would seem. Paul cranks on a wristlock before going back down to the armbar. Susan: “He looks like he’s using some ancient Chinese techniques”. Uh…yeah. Muraco finally escapes and sends Paul into the corner, only to have Orndorff go off on him as they brawl to the floor. In something you won’t ever hear again I don’t think, the opening match of Wrestlemania goes to a double countout. The fans chant some expletives.

Rating: D. What do you want here? The match is four minutes long and ends in a double countout. It was hot while it lasted, but the problem is that it didn’t last long enough at all. This was a pretty big feud and it gets a four minute match? That’s all they can spare these guys? Orndorff would have a MEGA heel turn later in the summer which would eventually draw 74,000 people to an outdoor show in Toronto. That’s some drawing power.

Mr. T. says he doesn’t like to do a lot of talking before a fight before proceeding to talk more in 30 seconds than Goldberg said in his entire career. To show you the production values, he’s drowned out by Fink announcing the results of the previous match.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).

The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Wells is a former football player who never did another thing of note in wrestling other than be in this match. Jake is brand new at this point and is promptly run over and backdropped down in the first ten seconds. A flying shoulder takes Jake down and there’s a headbutt for good measure. Wells hits a decent flying headscissors followed by a slam for no cover. A knee lift has Jake draped in the ropes and a powerslam gets two. Roberts comes back with a poke to the eyes and a knee lift followed by the DDT for the fast pin. This was pretty much domination until the last ten seconds.

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Piper vs. T which is allegedly based on a boxing match that happened in Phoenix, as apparently we’re ignoring ALL of the stuff from last year that set up the first Wrestlemania.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

We introduce the “celebrities.” First up is Joan Rivers as guest ring announcer, Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway and G. Gordon Liddy as guest judges and Herb from Burger King commercials (you won’t remember him) is guest timekeeper.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

This is a boxing match with ten three minute rounds. T has Joe Frazier as his trainer and the Haiti Kid to counter Orton. Piper is the aggressor to start as Vince calls T’s defensive stance a peek-a-boo style. Roddy grabs on the ropes and T fires away some body shots. These rounds might only be two minutes rounds. Piper takes him into the corner but T bobs and weaves before popping Roddy in the face a few times. It turns into another brawl on the ropes for the last thirty seconds or so of the round.

Everyone comes in to break up the brawl and we take a break between rounds. T gets in a few shots to the face to open round 2 but Piper apparently has a bunch of goo on his face. There’s an Orton/Piper joke in there somewhere. After the face gets cleaned off Piper starts pounding away and T is in trouble. I’ll change the numbers again because the rounds are indeed three minutes long. Piper gets him into the corner and pounds away, dropping him with a pair of shots to the head after about seven shots that missed BADLY. That gets an eight count and round 2 ends with T going down just after the bell.

Piper gets in a few cheap shots after the bell because that’s the kind of guy he is. We start round 3 with T firing away but they’re clearly getting tired. Piper goes down in his corner but pulls himself up before the count. T pounds him right back down in the corner and this time gets a seven count. This turns into move of a shoving match until T gets in a right hand to knock Piper out of the ring and out to the floor. Round 3 ends with nothing of note going on.

T talks trash in between rounds so Piper throws his stool across the ring as round 4 begins. They slug it out with T finally taking over. Piper DRILLS him with a right hand that knocks T’s mouthpiece out. T comes back with the same kind of a punch….and then Piper shoves the referee down and slams T for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was one of those things that everyone knew was going to be a disaster and the best chance they had was to make it goofy. Thankfully we’re talking about Roddy Piper in the 80s so you know he can bring the goofy. There were some decent punches in here but like all other wrestling boxing matches, you knew it would end with some sort of a DQ. This was pretty much it for Mr. T in the WWF other than a few cameos later on.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending of course and hits about five hair mares in a row to start things off. Velvet comes back with some one footed dropkicks before going up and missing a splash for Moolah to get the pin. This barely lasted 90 seconds which may have been due to McIntyre’s outfit breaking when she came off the ropes.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

This is a flag match which means a regular match where the winner gets to wave their flag. For some reason the ring is VERY loud all of a sudden. Kirchner is a guy you likely won’t have heard of but he’s famous for being VERY stiff which is why he wasn’t around long. Blassie is with Nikolai here and his man hits a spinning kick to start.

We head to the floor where Volkoff rams him into the post and cuts the Corporal open with a piece of razor that he immediately puts back down into his trunks. Blassie yells at Kirchner a bit before they head back inside. It’s a slugout but Blassie throws in his cane which goes upside Nikolai’s head for the pin. This was another very short match.

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

Perry is the hometown boy but once they said Andre’s name there was little doubt as to who was winning. Ernie Ladd jumps in on commentary as a former wrestler and football player. Andre chills in the corner and beats up anyone that comes near him. Perry gets ganged up on a few times in the corner but fights them off as Covert and Tonga go out. Francis goes after Andre like a crazy man and Holmes is gone.

The two giants go at it for a bit and Brunzell is gone. There’s never much to talk about in battle royals as most of it is just a bunch of brawls and the occasional elimination like Atlas going out here. Studd beats up Perry in the corner as Martin and Morales put each other out. Arcidi loads up Blair but Bruno makes the save for some reason. Not that it matters though as Arcidi is put out just a few seconds later. Spivey is gone as are Blair and Hillbilly. We’re down to about eight or so.

Fralic is dumped out by a bunch of people and Bruno backdrops Sheik out. Studd dumps Bruno and we’re down to Andre, Studd, Francis, Perry and the Harts. Perry shrugs off both Harts and sends them to the apron for the biggest pop of the night. He starts firing off tackles at Studd before running into an elbow for the elimination. Perry offers a handshake but pulls Studd out to the floor to another big pop. The Harts get Andre tied in the ropes and easily dump Francis. They pound away on Andre a bit but the big man is like dude please. He grabs Neidhart by the beard and kicks him out before tossing Bret on Anvil to win.

Rating: D. This was another pretty lame match with the football players not being able to do much due to not being wrestlers. Perry was incredibly popular and got a great reaction from the crowd, but other than him the NFL guys didn’t add anything at all here. Andre winning was the only logical choice and there’s not much else to say here.

Vince and Susan talk to Piper in New York and of course he says he’s awesome and didn’t lose at all.

Back in Chicago Jimbo Covert says he got cheated by Fralic. Iron Sheik says he’s proven wrestlers are better than football players.

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.

Both sets of announcers talk about the title change. I’ll give the female celebrities this: they sound like they’re enjoying themselves and they’re trying at least.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Lee Marshall of non-fame in WCW is the announcer. This was supposed to be Steamboat vs. Hart but WWF saw more star power in Hernandez. This wasn’t their best time from a thinking standpoint. Hercules pounds on him to start but Steamboat goes to the arm as is his custom. A kick to the ribs puts Hernandez down and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Steamboat does some leapfrogs before elbowing Herc down.

We head to the armbar again until Hernandez rams him into the buckle and hits a clothesline to take Steamboat down. A hot shot has Steamboat in trouble again but he comes back with a failed slam attempt that gives Hercules two. A pair of elbows get two more due to a very lazy cover. Hercules hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two and there’s a gorilla press slam to go with it. Make it a pair of gorilla presses but Hernandez’s splash hits knees, allowing Ricky to hit the top rope cross body for the pin.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here with power vs. speed, although most of the speed guy’s offense involved an armbar. That’s something you have to get used to in Steamboat matches though so it’s not a disappointment or anything. The match itself was pretty dull stuff but Steamboat in the 80s is never a bad thing.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

We hit the stereotypes now the gay character vs. the hillbilly character. Elmer, weighing roughly 450lbs, runs off Adonis and Jimmy Hart before the match and we get a good shot of Adrian’s pink dress. We finally get inside and Elmer starts pounding away before sending Adonis into the corner for a Flair Flip. Adrian gets sent into the corner two more times in a row with the second time landing him on the floor. Back in and there goes the dress as Adrian gets tied up in the ropes. A single punch to the chest puts Elmer down but he comes back with a corner splash, only to miss the big leg drop. A top rope headbutt gives Adrian a pin.

Rating: D-. What are you expecting here? We’ve got REALLY basic gimmicks (although Adonis wasn’t bad in his day) in a three minute match involving a man wearing a dress. This is what you call filler, albeit terrible filler. Elmer wouldn’t ever really do much in the WWF but he was a pretty big deal in the indies.

Adonis puts a flower on Elmer’s back post match.

We get Hogan’s second promo of the show with him saying he’s ready for Bundy and he begs Heenan to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

It’s Terry and Hoss here, with the latter being more famous as Dory Jr. Hoss and Dog start things off with JYD sending one Funk into another and slamming them both down before the Funks head to the floor for a breather. Off to Tito vs. Terry for a bit now and it’s a short bit as Terry gets clotheslined to the floor. Hoss takes a dropkick to send him out to be with his brother and the heels huddle on the floor again. Oh and they have Jimmy Hart too.

Back to the Dog vs.. Terry and they slug it out with Dog taking over. JYD rams Terry into the buckle so many times that the pad starts to come off. Terry gets thrown to the unpadded floor yet again and it’s back to Hoss. Tito comes in as well and Hoss fires off the famous Funk forearms. Speaking of forearms, the flying variety takes Hoss down and the Funks head to the floor again.

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

Santana finally slides between Terry’s legs and makes the hot tag to JYD. We prove we’re in the 80s with a double noggin knocker to both of the Funks and a punch sends Hoss to the outside. Terry has a rope from somewhere as everything breaks down. JYD throws Terry to the floor and slams him on a table for good measure. Terry’s knee is hurt and he can’t stand up but he gets back inside anyway as Jimmy gets decked. Everything breaks down again and Tito puts Hoss in the Figure Four but Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve said before that the 1980s were the best era ever for tag wrestling and this show proves it again. Most of the show hasn’t been all that great but the tag matches have been by far the best matches on the card. This was a fun and WILD match but not to the point where you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Good stuff here and after two boring matches in the LA section this was a good match to pick things up.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Hogan is lifting weights with bad ribs and we recap Hogan vs. Bundy. On SNME, Hogan defended the title against Don Muraco and after the match, Bundy ran in and destroyed Hogan with a bunch of splashes to injure the ribs. The doctor says Hogan shouldn’t be doing this, so Hulk does chinups with a 100lb weight around his neck.

Heenan and Bundy say they’re going to take the title from Hogan.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Both guys block shots into the cage but King goes to the ribs to stop Hogan cold. There’s a slam to mess with the ribs even more and Bundy goes for the door. You know it’s not ending that fast though so Bundy comes back to choke with the tape a bit. Another attempt to escape goes about as well and Hulk comes back with an elbow in the corner. Bundy gets rammed into the cage to bust him open and Hogan rakes his back a bit. More cage ramming occurs and Hulk climbs to the top to choke away on the ropes.

Hogan goes for the slam but Bundy falls down onto him as you would expect him to. Bundy goes to the door but Hulk grabs him for some choking with the rib tape. The Avalanche splash hits in the corner and a regular one hits as well so Hogan can shake like a fish. Hogan dives to stop Bundy from getting out but takes another Avalanche….with no effect whatsoever. The champion busts out a powerslam of all things and easily climbs out to retain.

Rating: D. It’s Hogan vs. a monster in 1986 so what in the world were you expecting to see here? At the end of the day this was the safe move but with all of the other heels on the roster, this is the best they could come up with? I mean, you have Savage, Piper or even Roberts to be in there, but you pick Bundy? It’s not like this was some huge feud as the SNME that set this up was five weeks before this show. I’ve heard that Vince was trying desperately to get Nikita Koloff to jump and be in the main event but when they fell through, they picked a monster instead. Eh when all else fails, go with the safe pick.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tough one to grade for the same reason that I don’t consider it the worst Mania ever: it was the second one and they had NO idea what they were doing here. The main thing that helps this show is that while most of the matches are worthless, they’re FAST. Of all the non-tag matches, only the cage match and the boxing match break ten minutes and the cage match does so by about 15 seconds. It’s certainly not a good show and if this happened today Vince would be jumping off a building, but for its time this wasn’t completely terrible.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania 2
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Coliseum-New York, Rosemont Horizon-Chicago, Illinois, Sports Arena-Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 40,085 combined for all three venues
Commentators: New York – Vince McMahon, Susan St. James. Chicago – Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Cathy Lee Crosby, Ernie Ladd. Los Angeles – Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Elvira
America The Beautiful: Ray Charles

This show is the classic what the heck were thinking moment from the WWF. They had made Wrestlemania the year before and they hit it so far out of the park that by the time it was Wrestlemania 2 the ball hadn’t come down yet. This was a problem though. Since the inaugural show had been such a success, Vince felt they had to do something to top it. This was his idea: what if we did Wrestlemania from 3 different places??? Think about that for a minute. How weird would that be?

Not to mention, Vince had another idea: let’s put it on a Monday! Again, just awkward sounding. The format used was three locations, each with an undercard and then a featured match, which were a boxing match, a battle royal, and the true main event, Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy in a steel cage.

The idea was odd on paper and worse in reality as it felt like watching three shows instead of one. There’s no rhythm and because it was in three locations, announcers were a rare commodity. Due to this, Vince’s last idea was to put a real commentator together with celebrities to do the commentary. What followed might be the biggest mess in company history.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We begin the show in New York City with Paul Orndorff against Don Muraco. Why are they fighting? I don’t have a freaking clue but they are so here we go. As they begin we hear comments from both and neither have anything to say of meaning.

Orndorff is easily the face here so if he never accomplished anything else in his career, the face turn between Manias one and two was effective. As was predicted, the celebrity commentator is atrocious, with such gems like “I think he’s winning!” Orndorff controls the early part of the match but Muraco breaks it up with some power. They roll outside and we get a double count out as the crowd clearly can be heard chanting bull.

Rating: D+. Fine for what it was, but the fans got it right with their chants. This is the opening match to Wrestlemania? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? This feud more or less never went anywhere at all as Orndorff was about to get the biggest push of his career by far, resulting in him making about $20,000 a week for awhile. This was just an odd choice for an opening match but then again this was an odd choice for a show so I guess it fits.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Next up the intercontinental title is on the line as Randy Savage defends against George Steele. This is a match that I can’t find a standalone version of so I can’t put this one in here. However, this was another chapter in the over year long feud between these two. Savage had been allegedly mistreating Liz and Steele had developed a crush on her. That led to, what else, Savage being jealous and a 15 month feud began.

Mega stall from Savage to start as he seems afraid of Steele. Savage runs again and finally on the third time Steele goes after him. They finally lock up and Steele beats Savage up for a while with power moves and biting but Steele keeps going to talk to Liz. This was a weird period for Savage as they knew they had a gem with him but they didn’t know what to do with him. Yeah he was the IC champion, but where did they go with him from there?

This was all they had until the next year when he and Steamboat stole the show and Savage was launched into the main event. For some reason Savage has a bouquet of flowers that he and Steele try to beat each other up with. After ripping apart a turnbuckle and eating the stuffing (not making that up) Steele gets slammed and elbowed, but he kicks out?

Yes, George Steele is the first man to kick out of the elbow, and he pops up, beats on Savage some more and then gets rolled up and Savage uses the ropes to pin him. Steele eats more stuffing.

Rating: C-. This was a comedy match I think with wrestling mixed in. Savage is the highlight here as he sells like crazy for Steele and it helps a lot. These two had this freaky chemistry that no one has ever been able to really figure out. They would feud on and off for the next year before FINALLY ending it with the return of Ricky Steamboat for that whole greatest match of all time thing he and Savage would have next year.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

We follow up that strange match with another somewhat strange match as Jake Roberts, still a rookie here, takes on some guy named George Wells. This match is little more than a glorified squash. Wells dominates early but doesn’t go for a pin when he has the chance. Jake recovers and DDTs him to win the match. Afterwards he unleashes Damien who causes Wells to look like he’s foaming at the mouth.

Rating: D+. Talk about a weird choice to have on Wrestlemania. Jake was brand new at this point so they needed someone to make him look good and they pick….George Wells? There was a squash on Mania for the first two years and both times they were the least interesting match on the card. I don’t get the selection here for the most part and it’s pretty bad all things considered.

Boxing Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

We now move onto the main event of the New York portion of the show: a boxing match with Roddy Piper and Mr. T. This was built up on SNME about 2 months before hand with Mr. T. beating Piper’s friend Bob Orton in a boxing match before being beaten down by both of them. That came on from what started over a year ago in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, so this truly was a showdown that had been built up for ages.

Factor in that T had been the World Boxing Champion in Rocky 3 just a few years ago and was on a top rated TV show where he was a tough guy. Both men have famous trainers in their corners to make it look more legit. For no apparent reason Joan Rivers does the ring announcing. This is ten three minute rounds. She introduces Orton as the Ace Comedy Bob Orvin. Nice job of handling the reading thing honey.

They actually got Smoking Joe Frazier to be in T’s corner. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood has in his corner a former world heavyweight champion who had three of the best boxing matches in history with Muhammad Ali. He also has a midget. Well of course he does. They treat this like a real boxing match. Oh dear.

T goes for the ribs which doesn’t work all that well for him. Piper hits him on the break which is illegal of course. There has been no mention of judges or anything like that so I guess this is destined to not go the distance. The referee has broken them up about four times now. I think these are three minute rounds. For the most part these punches aren’t landing at all but they sell them anyway of course.

It’s not so much boxing but rather glorified grappling with the occasional punch thrown. The fans are more or less dead if you didn’t guess that. After the first round nothing has really happened. Piper has a bunch of grease on his face for the second round which is keeping the punches from T from being effective.

This is painfully boring if I didn’t make that clear so far. Piper knocks the heck out of T with some big roundhouses and finally drops him to huge cheers because something HAPPENED for a change. The knockdown gets a count of 8. Piper keeps pounding on him as round two ends. They brawl a bit during the break and Orton throws water at T.

Piper does the Ali Shuffle to start the third round. T gets him into the corner and pounds away with more or less open hand shots to the head and Piper is in trouble. That gets a count of 7. T gets a huge punch that I think hit so of course Piper is knocked to the floor. He gets up at 9 and then holds onto T for the last 25 seconds of the fight.

They just trade big bombs to start the fourth round. And then he punches the referee and slams T for the DQ about a minute into the fourth round. It’s a bit brawl and T of course gets the win. Was there a reason for both that ending and also having Piper dominate a round like that? This was awful.

Rating: F. On WRESTLEmania they had a long boxing match. This was just boring beyond belief and the boxing looked awful. They tried to make this seem legit and it failed on more than all levels. T was never seen again and Piper turned face relatively soon after taking time off for knee surgery. Boring match and awful beyond belief.

Chicago

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

We start with the Women’s Title on the line as Moolah defends against Velvet McIntyre. This match is just weird. Moolah dominates, Velvet comes back and then misses a splash allowing Moolah to pin her. It screams botched finish to me as even the announcers seem surprised.

Rating: N/A. Just was nothing at all and might have gone a minute. Little to rate here so I won’t even try to.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

Now we have a flag match with Nikolai Volkoff against the forgotten Corporal Kirschner. Yeah I don’t remember him either. The winner gets to have their flag waved. Other than that it’s a standard one on one match. As usual, Nikolai sings the Russian National Anthem before the match starts. Nikolai dominates early on, ramming Kirschner into the post twice and busting him open. I kid you not, Kirschner lands 7 right hands, catches Freddy Blassie’s cane and hits Nikolai with it to win the match.

Rating: D-. This was supposed to be a brawl but it was a bad match. 7 punches and a cane shot? Give me a break. Kirschner is apparently one of the most legit tough guys in the history of the business and got thrown out of most major companies for being too rough. Based on this and his match at the Wrestling Classic I’d assume it’s due to a high level of suck but that’s just me. This was just barely long enough to warrant a rating and it wasn’t any good at all.

Battle Royal

Now we get the most famous match from this show: a 20 man battle royal with ten pro football players and 10 wrestlers. This is going to go GREAT. Since most of you won’t know half the people in this I’m not going to list them all until the end. The big names are a still rookie Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino. For the most part this is a run of the mill battle royal.

It’s little more than a bunch of punching and kicking against the ropes as we get down to the big names. Oddly enough the celebrity commentator is the only one that gets anything right. Gorilla says stuff like Studd has this guy in the corner when they’re almost in the middle of the ring, or Ernie Ladd who was a wrestler saying no one wants Andre when he’s beating someone up. Amazing.

The only really famous thing in this match is a football player named William the Refrigerator Perry getting eliminated by Studd but then offering a handshake and eliminating him. The Iron Sheik eliminates Hillbilly Jim just as he would in the gimmick battle royal 15 years later at WM 17. The final four are the Hart Foundation, a football player and Andre. Do I need to really give the details on this? Andre beats up the Harts to win the match after launching Bret out in a press slam.

Rating: B. It’s a bunch of football players and 80s wrestlers with a few great workers. Nothing special, but considering what they had to work with this is just fine. The football stuff didn’t lead anywhere which is kind of surprising as they set up a Fridge vs. Studd thing that never happened at all that I know of. This was just ok and at least the right guy won it. Andre would of course be in the biggest match of all time the next year.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team

Now we have what is likely the best match of the whole show. It’s a classic 80s tag match with the British Bulldogs, and Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for God alone knows why to face the tag team champions of the Dream Team Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. You can tell they’re serious here as this has a sixty minute time limit.

The ring looks small here for some reason. Gorilla asks why Ozzy is there too which means he’s confused like I am. There are two referees here which I doubt will mean anything for the most part. Smith vs. Valentine to get up. The ring is all loud here still.

The Bulldogs were so fast with those tags and this is no exception at all. Valentine won’t tag out for no apparent reason. He counters a backdrop though and here’s Beefcake. Small package by Dynamite get two. Fisherman’s suplex by Davey gets two. I guess he’s not perfect. After Davey gets beaten on for a bit Dynamite comes in and slugs it out with Valentine.

The champions cheat a bit and they still can’t take over. I never got the appeal of the Dream Team but to be fair it might be that Brutus was just awful at this point. Valentine gets a Piledriver on Dynamite but falls forward so it kind of looks like a tombstone but with Dynamite’s stomach facing out. That was kind of cool looking.

Bulldogs clear the ring as things speed up a bit. Davey gets the powerslam for two as it wasn’t a finisher but just a signature move at the time. The champions work over Davey as momentum changes hands a lot here tonight. They work over the arm, including with a shoulderbreaker from Valentine.

However he shows his idiocy by pulling Davey up at two. Nice job you lunkhead. And there’s the idiocy coming through as for no apparent reason Dynamite gets on the middle rope and Davey rams Valentine’s head into Kid’s for the knockout shot and falls on Valentine for the pin and the titles. That ending came from NOWHERE and Dynamite is out cold from the shot which is kind of amusing for some reason. That’s Albano’s 16^th title win as a manager. Hokey smoke.

Rating: B-. Fun stuff but the ending was just so freaking random. I don’t get the ending as it was like they looked at the clock and realized they had no time left and were like oh crap we need to finish this. The Bulldogs were a good team and were a huge step up from the Dream Team. They would lose them to the Harts in about 8-9 months so the tag division was starting to roll at this point.

Los Angeles

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

We move to the final and by far the worst of the three locations as we’re now in LA, beginning with Ricky Steamboat against Hercules Hernandez. This was supposed to be Bret vs. Ricky in the big showdown match for Mania. I’m not sure what the showdown would be for since for all intents and purposes they had no feud that I know of but a little face on face action never hurt anyone, even though Bret wasn’t a face at the time so scratch that line.

They start off kind of fast but not fast enough for anything to mean much. This was a different era so matches like these were really commonplace. There’s no feud or anything here and Hercules is just a big power guy that had been given a fairly decent push so he’s getting to fight one of the best guys in the company at one of the biggest shows of the year.

There is almost nothing to say here though as I’ve been watching for a few minutes and nothing has happened at all. Well at least nothing worth talking about that is. Hercules goes for the backbreaker as this is before the Full Nelson made him the original Chris Masters. Relatively standard Steamboat match which means it’s at least passable. Herc is the big powerhouse that beats the tar out of Ricky, makes one mistake and the Dragon makes his comeback. The flying body press ends things as always.

Rating: C-. And that’s almost all for Steamboat. I liked Hercules for some reason but for the life of me I don’t get the point in having him be considered a better prospect than Bret was. This was the epitome of a throwaway match with nothing special at all going on in it and nothing of note to talk about really. I sat there for minutes at a time with nothing of note so I apologize for the most history based match here.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Now for the odd match of the night, we have Adrian Adonis, playing a controversial gay gimmick at the time, against Uncle Elmer, a fat hillbilly character. The crowd chants a certain homosexual slur at Adonis to start the match which he prances around the ring to.

This match is slow and mostly painful as the smaller man in the match weighs about 350lbs. When he’s your agile guy, you know this isn’t going anywhere. Elmer punches him and literally falls off his feet from it. Quite sad actually. Adonis has his dress, yes dress ripped off and it’s just hideous. Elmer beats on him some more but misses a leg drop. Adonis hits a top rope headbutt and gets the pin.

Rating: N/A. I never got the appeal of either of these characters and thankfully Elmer wasn’t around much longer. Naturally he got a tape mainly about him and his family because that’s the way the 80s went.

Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana vs. The Funks

In the next to last match of the night, we have the Funks against JYD and Tito Santana. This is another filler match that had no point at all other than two faces against a heel team. This is a much slower paced match as they do more old school stuff in there. Terry vs. Tito starts us off so we’re certainly getting things started off on the right foot here.

You have three guys that belong in the Hall of Fame and JYD who is in there because he was popular in the 80s making him a LEGEND. I still don’t like him but he’s more bearable than some people I can’t stand. This is definitely a different style than most are used to. I’d like a bit more explanation as to why they’re fighting but I think It’s 1986 is about as close as we’re going to get. Tito dominates for the most part here, hammering away on both Funks. He was completely awesome at this point if you didn’t get that.

Off to the Dog now and we get some boxing. A Texas man lost a fight to a dog. Don’t bother going back to Amarillo I guess Terry. Someone please explain the appeal to me of the Dog as I just don’t get it at all and never have. Dory plays Ricky Morton which just sounds wrong and gets beaten on in the corner for a bit. The forearm gets two as I guess Tito didn’t have it perfected yet.

Control shifts over to the crazy men and they beat down Tito for awhile as he’s really playing Ricky Morton. That still sounds wrong. After a few minutes of basic offense from the Funks JYD comes back in and everything goes nuts. Terry is thrown to the floor where there are no mats. He might have legitimately hurt his knee or ankle there and I’m not surprised at all. With the referee not looking, Terry clocks the Dog with the Megaphone (Jimmy was managing them which I forgot to mention) and the heels steal one.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here with the Funks being all evil and the thrown together face team doing whatever they could to get the win. Granted that didn’t happen but at least they tried. This was a better match than I remember it being and while it’s still mainly formula stuff it worked rather well. I liked it and granted three of the guys being all time greats helps a bit.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall rating: C+. While certainly better in the ring than the first Mania and including some storylines this time, the three venues thing is just a mess. There’s really only two or three very good matches here and I’d call maybe the tag title match Mania worthy. Other than that there’s a lot of filler and it’s more or less 1-2 big matches per location with the rest being all filler.

This show suffers from trying to do something that had never been done before, and while they did indeed do that the overlooked one major point: the new thing they did wasn’t a good idea. It’s really not that good of a show overall. Watch the highlights if you want to, but don’t waste three hours watching it from start to end.

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #10
Date: March 14, 1987
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 21,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This show is all about Hogan vs. Andre and everything else is just kind of going on in the background. The company is rolling right now though and it’s all going to pay off in the Silverdome soon after this. It’s very interesting that they’re running this show basically in the same city as Wrestlemania just about a month before the big show. Let’s get to it.

Hogan has no friends in the battle royal but knows he’s in there himself. All he wants to do is get even with Andre the Giant and that’s the only reason he’s in this match. It’s going to be just the two of them and Hogan will get what he wants.

Heenan says Andre is the best.

Elizabeth explains the stipulations for Savage vs. Steele: the winner gets the title and her.

The Hart Foundation say it’s their first defense on this show but it’s going to be Santana and Spivey’s last time period.

Jake Roberts and Damien will be feasting on 400lbs of King Kong Bundy.

Opening sequence.

Jesse says Vince looks like the Penguin from Batman.

Hogan says he lives in the danger zone and he’ll face Andre anyplace anytime. It doesn’t matter if every member of the Heenan Family comes after him at once, he’s getting his hands on Andre.

We recap Savage vs. Steele, which we covered last time. Steele loves Elizabeth but it’s really just a background story for Savage vs. Steamboat. Of note here, the wrestlers now have customized graphics, such as Savage’s saying Macho Man underneath a picture of his signature sunglasses.

Elizabeth says she’s scared but Savage says he’ll win. Okerlund says Elizabeth has to go out last due to some rules. Savage: “Well rules are made to be broken. LIKE YOUR NECK!”

After Savage’s entrance, Steele comes up to Elizabeth and says “George! Manager! BYE BYE!”

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Winner take all. Before we get the bell, we get our fourth separate segment with Elizabeth in the first ten minutes, with Gene wishing her luck. Elizabeth is sitting in a chair at ringside like a lifeguard. George goes over to her but Savage jumps him from behind to get things going. He immediately tries to take Elizabeth to the back but Steamboat is waiting on him.

The distraction lets George get in a shot from behind as the match really gets going. Savage goes face first into the buckle and takes a blind swing at the referee. Naturally Steele stops to eat a turnbuckle. The champ uses the distraction to knee Steele in the back and nail the top rope ax handle. Steele just bites the arm and chokes Savage in the air but again goes for a turnbuckle. This time he shoves the stuffing in Randy’s face, only to go outside and look at Elizabeth. Savage sends him into the barricade and knocks Elizabeth’s chair onto the Animal for the countout win.

Rating: D. I’m sick of these two fighting as they had a ridiculous three matches on the first ten episodes of this series. Thankfully this would be it for these two as Savage would go after Steamboat full time after this. Steele would have been easier to sit through if he mixed things up every now and then but it was always the same thing.

Steele takes the title belt and finds a poster of Elizabeth as a consolation prize.

Hogan is warming up and keeps saying the name of someone in the battle royal with every other name being Andre.

Heenan and Andre say the Giant will win.

Battle Royal

Hillbilly Jim, Ron Bass, Sika, Haku, Tama, Lanny Poffo, Hercules, Butch Reed, Paul Orndorff, Billy Jack Haynes, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Blackjack Mulligan, Ax, Smash, Honky Tonk Man, Jim Brunzell, B. Brian Blair, Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan

You should know most of these people. Sika’s sons are Rosey and Roman Reigns. Haku and Tama, collectively known as the Islanders, are actually faces here. Reed is a power guy who was around for a few years but never really did much. Billy Jack Hayes was around even less time and accomplished even less. Demolition and Honky Tonk Man are both newcomers. The announcers make no secret of the fact that this is all about Hogan vs. Andre.

Everyone gangs up on Hogan to start but some guys go after Andre instead. Hogan fights back and dumps Honky Tonk Man before Andre does the same to Sika. Andre dumps Sika before hitting a massive headbutt on Poffo to bust him open, followed by a quick elimination. Hogan fights back as Poffo is taken out on a stretcher with pools of blood underneath him. Things settle down a bit as the ring has cleared out a little. Bass gets eliminated by Hogan and Andre does the same to Mulligan.

Hogan dumps Volkoff as we’re just waiting for the clash of the titans. Andre gets rid of Blair before stepping on Koko’s face. Orndorff and Hercules (now minus the Hernandez) whip Hogan across the ring and HERE WE GO. Hogan runs right into Andre and the fight is on. A few right hands stagger Andre but Orndorff and Demolition come over to break it up. Hogan dumps Orndorff but a single headbutt from Andre is enough to knock Hogan out and stun the crowd. We stop for a slow motion replay with a focus on Andre’s sneer at Hogan on the floor.

After a break we come back with Hogan still leaving. Andre tells him to come back for more and literally swats Koko away without even looking at him. Brunzell quickly gets tossed but everyone left gets together and dumps Andre. Hercules dumps Tama and Ax is gone a second later. Smash tosses Jim out and we’re down to Smash, Hercules, Koko, Reed and Haynes. Koko dropkicks Reed out, setting up their Wrestlemania III match.

Haynes goes after Smash and Hercules stomps Ware down in the corner. Pure power dumps Koko and we’re down to three. A double clothesline puts Haynes down but he nails a clothesline of his own to eliminate Smash. Heenan gets on the apron for a distraction and Hercules puts Billy Jack out for the win.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much good here but it’s rare to hear a crowd come to life like they did when Hogan and Andre went at it. It was clear that that match was going to be huge but I don’t think anyone realized just how big. Hercules winning is more of a footnote than anything else as the interest just died after the two big names were gone. To be fair though they wrapped it up in a hurry after Andre was eliminated.

Andre says it took eight men to eliminate him but it took one giant to get rid of Hogan. Heenan comes in and brags about Andre’s success before declaring him the next Heavyweight Champion of the World. Bobby never mentioned Hercules whatsoever.

Jake says he and Damien will always be at the top of the food chain.

Jake Roberts vs. King Kong Bundy

Roberts tries to work on the arm to start and Bundy runs from the snake bag. Things settle back down with Bundy going to a standing armbar but Jake kicks the knee out to escape. Bundy goes to a test of strength and easily takes the Snake down for some near falls, only to have Jake go right back to the knee to get out again. A front facelock has a more lasting effect on Roberts but Jake slithers out and drills Bundy with a knee lift.

Jake goes for the bag, only to have Bundy drag him back to the middle of the ring and Heenan steals the bag. We take a break and come back with Roberts walking down the aisle with the snake bag, making Heenan’s actions fairly pointless. Jake sidesteps a big charge and Bundy hits the buckle hard. Some right hands and clotheslines put Bundy down but the referee stops Jake from going for the bag, earning a knee to the ribs for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was much better than I was expecting until the fairly lame ending. Jake was so smart in the ring and even acted like a snake, right down to the slithering around. I was surprised by how good the chemistry was here, especially when the match was looking like a filler.

Jake plants Bundy with the DDT and tries to get the snake, only to be tackled by the referee. Vince: “Put the snake on the referee!” That’s exactly what Jake does because he listens to his boss.

We see crooked referee Danny Davis costing the British Bulldogs the Tag Team Titles back in January.

The Hart Foundation introduces Danny Davis as their official ringside observer, whatever that means.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Dan Spivey/Tito Santana

The Harts are defending and Davis cost Santana his Intercontinental Title over a year ago in another questionable decision. Spivey is a tall guy who looks a lot like Barry Windham (so much that he replaced Windham when he left the US Express). He takes Neidhart down with a headlock to start but a big clothesline drops Spivey right back. Off to Bret vs. Santana, which should be awesome.

Unfortunately it only lasts a few seconds before Spivey comes back in for a shoulder. The Harts take over on Dan though with Neidhart dropping him throat first across the top rope. Bret chokes against the rope and gets two off a middle rope elbow. Off to a front facelock from Bret, of course drawing in Neidhart so the referee misses Spivey’s tag to Santana.

Bret misses a charge into Neidhart, allowing Tito to come in off the real hot tag. Santana cleans house with his flying forearm to both Harts before putting Bret in the Figure Four. The other two are still fighting though, allowing Davis to nail Santana with the megaphone to give Bret the pin.

Rating: D+. This was decent while it lasted but there was no way we were getting new champions here. Spivey wasn’t much of a partner as he couldn’t even neutralize the likes of Danny Davis. The tag division was about to take off and once the Harts started getting some better competition, they never looked back.

Ricky Steamboat says his fire is getting hotter and hotter, even if people go after his injured throat.

Iron Sheik vs. Ricky Steamboat

Savage comes out to yell at Steamboat before sitting in on commentary. Sheik uses the distraction to hammer Ricky down but the Dragon skins the cat and suplexes Sheik down. As Ricky slaps on a front facelock, Savage stays on a rant about how none of this would work on him because he’s the best in the world. A suplex puts Ricky down and Savage swears he would have gotten a pin right there. Sheik puts on an abdominal stretch but Steamboat hiptosses out and nails a top rope chop for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t have a ton of time but Savage’s commentary carried the whole thing. They’ve done a great job of keeping these two apart before they finally get to destroy each other in about two weeks. Savage’s commentary was great here as he can say all these things but we know he’s capable of backing them up. Fun match but not very good if that makes sense.

Savage and Steamboat yell at each other.

Hogan is distraught about the loss and says Andre cheated. He doesn’t actually say how but he swears it happened. Hogan thinks Andre must have cheated in every win of fifteen years, apparently because Hogan has never watched an Andre match. He has the big man upstairs in his corner and there’s no way Andre can beat him at Wrestlemania III.

Roddy Piper is retiring after Wrestlemania III and is humbled by having a tribute video made for him. Wrestling kept him out of jail when he was a kid, but he’s going to Hollywood to give it all he’s got. We see the tribute video, set to Frank Sinatra’s My Way, which really is an appropriate song.

The standard recap ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the weaker shows in the series, but it’s only there to set up Wrestlemania III, which was already set in stone by this point. Piper’s tribute is good stuff, even though at least half the clips were from the previous Saturday Night’s Main Events. The company is about to explode even more than it already has and the next few months and years will be outstanding stuff.

 

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