Monday Night Raw – October 11, 1999: As 1999 As You Can Get

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 11, 1999
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 33,375
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well this is an upgrade. We’re in a huge stadium and it happens to be the last Raw before No Mercy, where HHH will defend the WWF Title against Steve Austin. Other than that, the Terri Invitational Tournament continues with Edge and Christian facing the Hardy Boyz in one cool match after another. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

We open with a tribute to Gorilla Monsoon, who passed away last week. That’s a big one, especially for people who grew up in the Golden Era.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon, who is very happy to be here in Atlanta (WCW’s hometown of course) and wastes no time in bringing out Steve Austin for a chat. Austin says he’s been gone for a few months and it’s because of HHH and that’s all changing tonight. For the last few months, HHH has been attacking Jim Ross and a rattlesnake in a bag.

Neither of those are Austin though and he isn’t scared of anything HHH is doing. Austin wants HHH out here right now so here he is, with the fans not being happy to see him. They argue over the fans getting on HHH, who says that Austin knows he can’t win at No Mercy. No one here can beat HHH…and yeah sure he’ll fight Austin right now.

Or instead he’ll go outside and shove JR’s hat off. This time JR actually gets up and hits him with a fan, allowing Austin to come outside for the real fight. They get back inside, with JR hammering on HHH some more until Chyna makes the save. Austin lays Chyna out so HHH issues the challenge for the tag match tonight. And of course Austin and JR are in.

There are a bunch of bulldogs in the back. Georgia bulldogs?

An annoyed Mankind is pacing in the back.

We look at Mankind and the Rock getting into a fight/argument on Smackdown.

Billy Gunn vs. Crash Holly

Road Dogg and Hardcore Holly are here too, with Dogg calling out the Hollys for not being real super heavyweights. Gunn hammers away in the corner to start and grabs a Jackhammer (or Jackknife according to JR) for two. The other two get in a fight on the floor and Gunn hits a Fameasser for the pin at 50 seconds. I don’t think Crash got in a single bit of offense.

Post match Hardcore brings in the scales to hit the Outlaws in the face.

Mankind is rather proud of his guest appearance on G vs. E last night but he wants to talk about the Rock on Smackdown. Maybe he wanted to hit the Rock with a chair because one of them isn’t a team player. There is no I in team, Rock or Sock and he needs a commitment from the Rock before he can move forward with the team’s endorsement deals.

Mae Young vs. Ivory

Non-title. Before the match, Ivory complains about how annoying Young and Fabulous Moolah have been, even threatening to beat the regularity out of her. Ivory hits her in the back with a belt before the bell, right in front of the referee, who says the bell can ring anyway. Moolah runs in and jumps Ivory for…well I guess a no contest at about 30 seconds as the bell didn’t ring.

Post match Moolah beats Ivory up until she runs off.

Jim Ross calls the Rock and tells him about Mankind’s issues from Smackdown. Rock doesn’t really care and he’s on his way to the show, where he’ll turn the Georgia Dome upside down. Wouldn’t that make it a Georgia Pit?

British Bulldog has no idea why those dogs are here and doesn’t care about the Rock and Mankind tonight. At No Mercy, he’s beating the Rock to get closer to the WWF Title.

We look at Stephanie McMahon getting hit in the head at Rebellion and seemingly losing her memory.

Earlier today, Stephanie (with Shane McMahon) sat down and said she can’t remember anything happening to her in the short term. She can’t remember any of the feelings she has for Test and Shane has to calm her down.

Val Venis and the British Bulldog jump Mankind and leave him laying.

Mark Henry and a woman arrive in a limo.

Edge & Christian vs. New Brood

This is the fourth match in the Terri Invitational Tournament (Edge & Christian are up 2-1) and Lilian Garcia describes this as a “non…..tag team match.” Also can we please just get to them being the Hardys already and drop the New Brood stuff? It’s a brawl to start with the Hardys getting sent into the corners for some running shots.

Matt fights back and stomps Christian down in the corner, with Jeff hitting a springboard moonsault. The flipping splash/falling punch combination hits Christian, with Jeff adding a legdrop in the ropes. Jeff: “DID YOU SEE ME???” Uh yeah, yeah we did Jeff. Back in and both Hardys miss something off the top, allowing the tag off to Edge. Matt grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for two but Edge gives Matt a Downward Spiral.

It just happens to be right in front of Jeff, who comes off the top with a Swanton for the save. Christian Unprettiers Jeff (Lawler: “Can you do that JR?”) and Matt dives off the top to take Edge out. Jeff dives onto the two of them and Edge’s running flip dive hits both Hardys. They all brawl on the floor and it’s a double DQ at 4:56. Kind of odd to see that instead of a countout but it’s the same thing for all intent and purpose.

Rating: B-. That’s probably going to be the match of the night and that shouldn’t be a surprise. These guys are clearly giving everything they have now that they are getting the chance. As it turns out, it’s working very well, which is saying a lot when this was one of the lesser of their series.

X-Pac demands Kane not come out to the ring during his match no matter what.

The Rock finally arrives and post break, says he doesn’t care Mankind feels about the team. As for the British Bulldog, Rock isn’t just another nobody and no one cares about Bulldog anyway. Bulldog is nothing and apparently Rock has brought those dogs to the show for whatever reason.

He can’t seem to remember his catchphrase, going through some Flair, Savage and Hogan before getting it right. Cue Mankind who wants an answer right now. Rock tells him what to do with his gear and where to put it but here is Vince McMahon to give them a match against Val Venis and the British Bulldog. Rock says tonight is about winning one for the scooper, which has Mankind confused.

X-Pac vs. Faarooq

During the entrances, we get a statement from the Drozdov family, thanking the fans for wishing Droz well. That’s kind of random but it’s still nice to hear. There’s no Kane here but Bradshaw is here with Faarooq, who gets kicked in the corner to start things fast. Faarooq is right back up with a whip into the corner and gets two off a backbreaker.

The powerslam gives Faarooq two and we hit the bearhug as Kane is watching backstage. X-Pac gets out and kicks away before avoiding an elbow in the corner. Bradshaw gets up for a distraction but X-Pac escapes the Dominator and sends them into each other. The X-Factor finishes Faarooq at 3:20.

Rating: C+. This is about as far as I can go with X-Pac hanging in there against a powerhouse, with Faarooq being someone who can lose to him without it going too far. The good thing is that X-Pac is a rather talented star and someone who could get fans behind him. At the same time, the X Factor still doesn’t feel like a great finisher and that isn’t helping things here.

Post match the beatdown is on but Kane comes out…to stay on the stage, even as X-Pac is double powerbombed. Bradshaw puts X-Pac on top but Kane finally runs in for the save. The ungrateful X-Pac is mad at Kane for helping him out. You know, Kane has a match on Sunday too so stop being a selfish jerk.

We look at the setup for the tag match and JR heads to the back to get ready.

We look at Mark Henry’s second sex therapy session, with the therapist (the woman from earlier) saying we need to go extreme to make it work, even starting tonight. Henry likes the idea and busts out some handcuffs, but the therapist isn’t happy.

Michael Cole replaces JR on commentary.

Chris Jericho/Curtis Hughes vs. Headbangers

This is the Headbangers’ reunion after a pretty horrible attempt at a solo run for Mosh. Jericho and Mosh start things off, with Mosh launching him into a hot shot. Jericho gets hung up in the ropes for a jumping splash from Thrasher. Back up and a butterfly backbreaker plants Thrasher to put him in trouble for a change.

It’s off to Hughes, who gets clotheslined by Mosh, followed by a double clothesline for a double down. Mosh comes back in and has to be saved from the Walls. Hughes runs Jericho over by mistake so Jericho hits him right back and walks out. The Stage Dive (and a bad one at that) finishes Hughes at 3:21.

Rating: C. So that’s it for the Hughes/Jericho partnership and that’s about how it should have gone. Hughes felt like he was dragging things down for Jericho and it’s good to see Jericho getting away from him to be free. The Headbangers being back was nice to see as well, but it’s not like they were ever a great team in the first place.

Big Show is upset in the back when D’Lo Brown comes up to check on him. Show’s father has terminal cancer and Brown says he’s there for him anytime. Well that got a lot more serious.

Rock has Mankind sweep up the dogs’ waste and put it on a big tray.

Godfather vs. Mark Henry

Godfather has about thirty women with him this time…because this is a Ho Jack match. Apparently this is the sex therapist’s idea of extreme measures to cure Henry of his addictions. Sweet goodness how 1999 can a show be? Henry is sent outside where he seems to enjoy the women’s company. Back in and Henry gets beaten up, only to be distracted by the women again. The Ho Train sets up a rollup to pin Henry at 1:28.

Post match Henry is jumped by the women and Henry couldn’t seem happier.

HHH, with Chyna, says Steve Austin should always be worried about him and it’s going to be a good piece of business for JR. HHH doing a JR impression is a rather disturbing thing.

Big Boss Man vs. Big Show

Before the match, Boss Man says he doesn’t care about Show’s problems because Boss Man is the real problem. Even Lawler thinks that’s too far and here is a rather emotional Show. A superkick drops Boss Man in the aisle and the bell rings, with Show hitting a flying shoulder inside. Boss Man hits him with the nightstick for the DQ at 36 seconds.

Post match the beatdown is on until Al Snow runs in for the save but gets beaten down as well.

Mankind has collected quite a bit of waste.

HHH/Chyna vs. Jim Ross/Steve Austin

Lawler loses it over JR having his wrists taped. Austin, in street clothes, finally bothers coming to help and brawls on the stage with HHH. They fight back to ringside, where Chyna and JR are nowhere to be seen. HHH gets whipped into the steps and Austin even dives off the steps with a right hand. They fight out into the crowd as Chyna is beating JR up back in the ring. Austin and HHH brawl out of the back of the building as Lawler loves JR getting stomped by Chyna (Lawler: “He always had a foot fetish!”).

Chyna gives JR a Pedigree but here is Jeff Jarrett to hit her with a toaster. Miss Kitty wheels down a laundry cart and Jarrett throws Chyna inside before wheeling her away. Austin and HHH brawl back into the arena, with Austin throwing him into a beer stand. Naturally Austin stops to have a beer and then goes to celebrate at ringside as I guess the match just ended. I’m not sure it ever started but when has that ever stopped them?

Rating: C-. I guess there was a match in there? Maybe? Somewhere? This felt like a way to get Austin officially on the card for a stadium show without having him have to really wrestle. That’s about all you can do if he’s that banged up and you don’t want to risk him getting hurt even worse. JR was barely a factor here, with Chyna’s weird status as a hero at some points and a villain at other times is still weird.

In the back, Jarrett shoves the laundry cart off a ledge and into the parking lot. Post break, Chyna is helped by medics.

Oh and I guess Jim Ross was eaten by rabid ferrets or something.

Val Venis/British Bulldog vs. Rock N Sock Connection

Naturally Mankind brings out the dog waste and I think you know where this is going. Cole: “This should be a good one.” Based on what? Nothing about this seems good, and Mankind almost being knocked onto the tray to start isn’t changing my mind. They get inside where Venis hammers away in the corner with Bulldog getting in his shots as well. A running faceplant puts Venis down for two and it’s off to Rock to hammer away in the corner.

Rock hits his big clothesline to cut Venis off again and it’s already back to Mankind. The general clubbering continues until Rock comes back in and gets elbowed by Venis. Rock fights back on Bulldog in the corner but the Rock Bottom is broken up. That means Venis’ fisherman’s suplex gets two so Rock gives him the Samoan drop to even things back up.

Mankind comes back in with a double arm DDT to Venis as everything breaks down. The brawl heads out to the floor and Mankind loads up Mr. Socko to chase Venis up the ramp. That leaves Rock to grab the tray and throw it inside, where Bulldog is Rock Bottomed onto said tray. Well onto what is on the tray. The People’s Elbow is loaded up…but Rock just stops and poses instead as I guess we’re done at around 8:15.

Rating: C-. Well, it was in fact a match and they had more time than any other match on the card, but how good was this going to be? They were mainly focusing on the tray and teasing the big spot with the thing. It’s also another match without an actual fall, because Venis is getting a singles match on pay per view in six days so he can’t take a pin here.

HHH jumps Austin in the back but Austin has a rattlesnake waiting on him.

We get some Extra Attitude, meaning a clip from after the show, which is Austin coming out to drink beer (and pour some of it on the dog waste). JR comes out and drinks some as well. The only thing I get out of this: Austin’s ability to catch beers with one hand is still incredibly impressive. This really didn’t do much whatsoever and didn’t need to be included.

Overall Rating: D+. There were some ok matches on here, but the focal points were two tag matches which didn’t end with an actual fall and the big deals at the end were dog waste and a snake. That’s in addition to a Ho Jack match and Ivory feuding with Moolah and Mae Young. While Vince Russo is officially gone, there are still a lot of remnants of him hanging around (though the dog thing had to be a Vince McMahon idea) and this show was a rough watch as a result.

 

 

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Velocity – June 8, 2002: Enough With The Tough

Velocity
Date: June 8, 2002
Location: Cox Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Al Snow

This popped up on the Vault and while it’s billed as the Full Episode, it would appear that something has been taken out. That doesn’t leave much, but it’s a rather different era from the company and a rather forgotten one at that, so it’s definitely worth a look. This is only the third episode of the series so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. My that’s a lot of green.

Test vs. Randy Orton

Orton has only been around for about a month and a half here. Test jumps him from behind to start and hammers away in the corner as we get the opening bell. Orton is back up with a dropkick to the back but Test gives him a running clothesline in the corner. Test does it again but Orton manages a quick DDT. A high crossbody gets two, only for Test to grab the pumphandle slam for two. Orton’s Overdrive gets the same but Test is back with a Roll of the Dice (I believe he called it the Test Drive) for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: C+. This actually turned into a decent match, with Test being on a roll at the moment and picking up another win. Orton was still just the big prospect and had a very long way to go, but you could see the potential in there. It would take time for him to put it together, but the way commentary was hyping him up made his future pretty clear.

We look back at Ivory getting annoyed at Tough Enough winners Linda Miles and Jackie Gayda introducing themselves to Vince McMahon. Vince put them in a match on Velocity, marking the only time that he would ever mention the show.

Godfather vs. Hugh Morrus

Godfather does not look happy to be out here and jumps Morrus in the corner to start. Morrus shrugs that off and hammers away, only to get shoved HARD out of the corner in a great visual. A running clothesline gives Godfather two and Morrus’ powerslam gets the same. Godfather goes to get the bell, which distracts the referee (one Teddy Long) enough for Godfather to hit Morrus with his cane for the win at 3:18.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what the point is in having a heel Godfather, as the whole point was him being the fun, energetic opening match star. Instead he just looks like he’s doing something of an Undertaker knockoff and that makes for a less than thrilling match. Then again he’s in there with Morrus so it’s only going to be so good in the first place.

We look at Edge having a heck of a cage match with Kurt Angle but injuring his shoulder in the process. That puts him out of the King Of The Ring and Chris Jericho comes in to mock him, demanding that Edge raise his hand for winning their match via forfeit. Instead Edge tried to fight and got beaten up even worse. Jericho crushed his bad shoulder on the steps with a chair until the Big Valbowski made the save…and the show just ends abruptly mid brawl. This is billed as the “full show” but there is quite a bit missing. Anyway, Valbowski throws Jericho out and stands tall.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Funaki kicks away to start but makes the mistake of turning his back on Guerrero. That earns a ram into the corner and a dropkick to the back. Funaki’s comeback is quickly cut off but he sends Guerrero outside for a slingshot dive. Back in and an enziguri gives Funaki two but Guerrero backbreakers him for the same. The brainbuster finishes for Guerrero at 4:35.

Rating: C+. As usual, you can take two talented wrestlers and let them do their thing. It’s not like this match was ever going to be anything more than two guys doing moves for a few minutes. Funaki could work well with anyone and the same was true of Guerrero, who just happened to be a much bigger star.

Jackie Gayda gives Linda Miles a pep talk before the match with Ivory. Gayda would love to be in her corner, which works for Miles.

We look at HHH and Hulk Hogan winning a battle royal to become the new #1 contender to the World Title. HHH beat Hogan later in the night to get the title shot. They posed after the match and got beaten up by Undertaker (the reigning champion) and Kurt Angle (who is certainly NOT bald).

We look at Linda and Jackie winning Tough Enough.

Linda Miles vs. Ivory

Jackie Gayda is here with Miles. Ivory grabs a headlock takeover to start fast so Miles reverses into a headscissors. Back up and a running shoulder puts Ivory down but she sends Miles throat first into the bottom rope. Miles fires off some clotheslines and a suplex before going up…where Gayda shoves her down. A facebuster gives Ivory the pin at 3:54.

Rating: D+. I remember watching this show as it aired and Gayda turning on Miles was obvious the second she asked to be in Miles’ corner. They were barely trying to hide it and that doesn’t make for a good moment here. Throw in that Miles was still a rookie and would never get much better and there was hardly much to see here.

Overall Rating: C. This was only the third episode of the show so WWE still cared about it for the time being, which was apparent here. This had some big enough names involved and a turn at the end, though there is only so much you can get out of a show like this one. That being said, it’s almost a breath of fresh air just to see something out of the blue like this. I have no idea why it was cut off, but the other half is easily available to find elsewhere.

 

 

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Heels Have Eyes Four The Culture: The Real Supershow

Heels Have Eyes Four The Culture
Date: April 18, 2025
Location: Palms Casino Resort, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Ernest Miller, Kazeem Famuyide, David Otunga

This is the annual For The Culture show, which features Black wrestlers from around the world. The series has featured some good stuff and I’ve liked the shows well enough so far, though this one is a bit different as it is a co-promoted event between GCW (the regular promotion) and 4th Rope. That could make things different enough so let’s get to it.

Commentary and the ring announcer welcome us to the rope.

Rapper Westside Gunn comes out, apparently the person in charge of 4th Rope, and raps a song about hurting people…and the Hurt Syndicate is here. MVP is happy to be here because this is wrestling meets hip hop. He welcomes us to the show and tells us to have a great f****** time.

Mustafa Ali vs. Leon Slater vs. Trevor Lee

Lee, with far shorter hair, shoulders Ali to start and we get some early near falls. Slater sends both of them outside and tries the big running flip dive over the post, only to have his head hit the post (GEEZ) on the way down. Thankfully he’s fine and Lee takes him down for two back inside. A pop up hurricanrana sends Lee back outside though, leaving Ali to neckbreaker Slater down.

The standing phoenix splash gives Ali two as commentary can’t believe the speed. Lee comes back in to help Ali beat Slater down but he’s back up with a double handspring elbow. Slater’s spinwheel kick drops Ali but Lee knocks Slater silly with a clothesline. Back up and Slater gives Ali a spinning powerbomb before he gets whipped hard into the corner. That leaves Slater to roll Lee up for the pin at 5:50.

Rating: B-. Good, fast paced match to start here and that’s what it should have been. Slater is the young up and comer here as Lee and Ali are far more established. They all looked good here and thankfully they didn’t spend a lot of time out there, which made the match that much easier to watch.

Moose vs. Oni King

Moose’s TNA X-Division Title isn’t on the line. King apparently “woke up this morning and chose violence” and Moose flips the fans off at the bell. Moose knocks him down to start but King sweeps the legs and starts up some rhythmic strikes in the corner. Some right hands have Moose staggered but he’s able to block a suplex and hit a big boot. King runs him over for two but a suplex doesn’t work. Moose’s spear finishes at 3:40.

Rating: C. This wasn’t anything close to the opener but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was about two good size guys beating each other up and a spear from someone the size of Moose is always going to work. Having Moose on the show is a big deal and the match was fun enough while it lasted.

Justin Roberts comes out to be the guest ring announcer and has a quick chat with commentary, who he apparently knows.

4th Rope Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. TNT

TNT (Terrell/Terrance Hughes, the sons of D-Von Dudley, who brings them to the ring) are challenging and ignore the Hardys bringing out the TNA titles rather than the 4th Rope titles. Matt (who does not look thrilled to be here) starts with Terrance (commentary isn’t sure which is which) and takes him into the corner for some opening posing.

Terrance takes him down and does the Jeff Hardy dance so Jeff comes in for the double elbow. The flipping splash/fist drop combination sets up Poetry In Motion as everything breaks down. Terrell comes in for a cheap shot and D-Von gets in some choking from the floor (to quite the reaction). Terence monkey flips Terrell into a Cannonball to Jeff in the corner and we hit the front facelock.

Terrell Death Valley Drivers Terrance onto Jeff for two and it’s back to the facelock. Jeff mule kicks his way to freedom and brings Matt back in to give both of them the ten rams into the buckle. The Side Effect gets two on Terrance but a springboard Hart Attack (back elbow rather than clothesline) drops Matt for two more. Back up and the Plot Twist into the Swanton retains the titles at 7:14.

Rating: C+. You could tell the Hardys weren’t overly thrilled to be there but it was cool to see the two generations deal here. The Hardys have all kinds of history with the Dudleys and this was a fun idea. TNT isn’t a great team yet but they had some nice double teams and certainly didn’t look bad.

Some unnamed people are talking about their numbers in the battle royal but no one will tell much of anyone anything. This includes Vix Crow, better known as Alicia Fox.

Mike Santana vs. Raj Dhesi

Dhesi is better known as Jinder Mahal. We get a bit of respect before the match, with Miller wanting one of them to throw a right hand, just like he would. I’m thinking that would have been a kick, but that’s why Miller didn’t win much. Dhesi shoves him away and Santana realizes he needs to think twice about this. They go to a stalemate so Santana hits him in the face, only to get dropped with a shoulder.

Santana knocks him outside and keeps up the beating near the crowd, setting up the chops against the post. Back in and Santana catches him on top with a superplex for two and it’s already time to get frustrated. Dude, you hit one move. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Santana fights up and hits a rolling cutter for two. Dhesi’s Death Valley Driver gets the same but the Khallas is blocked. The referee accidentally gets superkicked though, allowing Dhesi to kick him low. A chair is loaded up but here is JBL to lariat Dhesi down. Spin The Block gives Santana the win at 10:14.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this one before the JBL ending, which is the whole Sheriff deal or whatever it’s supposed to be. That’s not the most interesting ending, but at least the two of them were both protected. Santana feels like someone who is ready to become a star, though Dhesi has done well enough since leaving WWE. I’m still annoyed he didn’t get at least a chance, but he needed to get away from WWE after how things went for him there.

Hollyhood Haley J/Vix Crow vs. Alexis Littlefoot/Masha Slamovich

I haven’t seen Littlefoot before but she’s from Lexington, Kentucky so we’ll give her some bonus points. Slamovich kicks J in the face to start and then brings in Littlefoot to face Crow. They slug it out with Crow getting the better of things as J has gone into the crowd to dance, while being paid in dollars. Crow grabs the chinlock and looks rather confused by whatever J is doing. J finally gets on the apron but Littlefoot rams Crow into her (that should be a tag) and rolls Crow up for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: D. Yeah what else is this supposed to be? It was nice to have Crow back in the ring after being away for so long but it wasn’t like she got to do much here. Slamovich was barely involved in this, but given how much she has done over the weekend, I can forgive the shorter match. Nothing to see here.

Post match J whips out a sock and knocks Crow cold, revealing a rock inside.

The Infantry vs. Culture Inc.

That would be Carlie Bravo/Shawn Dean vs. Eli Knight/Malik Bosede and this is a street fight. They go straight to the brawling (as they should) with the Infantry taking over and heading outside. A running boot knocks Knight out of a chair and it’s time to go back inside, with the Infantry bringing in some chairs. That takes too long though and they’re quickly dropped with baseball slides, allowing Culture to grab the chairs. Back in and Bravo gets knocked outside, leaving Dean to get caught with a double superkick.

The beating continues, with the Infantry being sent into the set a few times. Back in and Bravo gets thrown onto a raised chair for two (ouch) and it’s right back to the floor. Dean is back up with a heck of a big dive and everyone is wiped out. The fight goes into the crowd and this can’t end well. They go into a dark corner and the camera misses something that draws a HOLY S*** chant. We go back inside with Bravo in trouble but Dean comes in with a top rope clothesline. Knight is staggered enough that a running double stomp onto a chair finishes Knight at 9:04.

Rating: B. It was a wild brawl for the most part and the big spots were certainly good. The problem was not being able to see some parts, but that’s more on the production than the wrestlers. It felt like they were having a fight though and that’s the point, with the anger coming through here.

One of the people asking about the numbers earlier (Joe Alonzo) finds someone we can’t see behind a door.

Tiara James vs. Maya World

James wastes no time in taking her down and throws in some pushups. A running shoulder takes World down but she’s back up with a shoulder of her own. And yes, she does include some pushups. James is right back up with a Backstabber for the win at 1:53, as World might have gotten banged up there. The referee didn’t seem to think that would be the ending and was checking on World after it was over.

Justin Roberts gets in the ring and wants to try an experiment. He’s heard that if….say his name he will appear, so here is Joe Hendry. We get the pose and catchphrase before Hendry talks about how great this weekend has been. Cue the Godfather, with the ladies, for one of the most random pairings I’ve ever seen.

Godfather offers Hendry the women, but says it should be called the Nice Lady Train. We can call it the NLT! The fans aren’t sure about that, even with Haley J coming out to join in. Godfather offers to put Hendry on the “Lovely Lady Train”. The fans try to chant it, but they’re more into the idea of Godfather doing Hendry’s pose. This was bizarre fun.

Cha Cha Charlie is ready to win the battle royal to become Flyweight Champion.

4th Rope Flyweight Title: Battle Royal

This appears to be a Royal Rumble with 20 entrants for the inaugural title. Real1 (Enzo Amore) is in at #1 and does his greatest hits while looking even worse than usual. Joe Alonzo is in at #2 and apparently no one can stand him. Real1 sits on the top and Alonzo yells at the crowd as they decided to wait on #3, which is quite the troll job. Apparently we have one minute intervals (or less) and it’s Mo Jabari in at #3.

Real1 and Alonzo jump him before he can even get in, with Real1 hitting a running Razor’s Edge into the post (though it looked more like the crowd). Jabari is thrown inside for Jordunzo and the elimination. Sidney Akeem (Reggie from WWE) is in at #4 and picks up the pace, managing to knock Alonzo down. A Downward Spiral into the buckle cuts him off though and Jordunzo lets Real1 toss him out.

Richard Holliday is in at #5 and says he wants in on what Real1 and Alonzo are doing. If his Steiner Math is correct, the three of them together gives them 100% chance of success. They seem to agree and everyone shakes hands…and Holliday is tossed out as John Wayne Murdoch is in at #6. Yeah that tracks. Murdoch jumps Alonzo but gets knocked outside (not out) for a posting from Real1. The Razor’s Edge into the post knocks Murdoch silly and Mance Warner is in at #7.

That gives us something of a tag match, with Alonzo quickly being knocked down for a running knee from Warner. Real1 gets beaten up but manages to hang on as Cha Cha Charlie is in at #8. A frog splash hits Alonzo and Charlie tosses him out without much trouble. Charlie clotheslines Warner and Murdoch down as Rich Swann is in at #9. Swann and Charlie immediately dance together, until Charlie suplexes him to cut off the music. AJ Francis is in at #10 as I wonder what exactly the flyweight class is supposed to be.

Francis beats up Real1 on the ramp before coming in to throw Murdoch out. A splash hits Warner and Francis is dominating as Bryan Keith is in at #11. Francis runs over Keith and Real1 with a double shoulder but they muscle him up for a double suplex. We settle down into a more traditional battle royal with some elimination attempts until Tommy Dreamer (of course) is in at #12.

Dreamer hammers away on various people until he runs into Francis. The chokeslam is broken up with a bite to the hand and Kevin Blackwood comes in to clean house. Well until he gets poked in the eye and cuttered by Dreamer that is. AJ Gray is in at #13 and hammers away until we settle back down. Kenny King is in at #14 as the ring is getting full. Said ring gets more full with Odyssey (Jones) in at #15.

Odyssey knocks down a few people and goes after Francis, who pulls him off the top and tosses him without much trouble. Well that was disappointing. For some reason Francis goes up and gets ganged up on to no avail. Isaiah Broner is in at #16 and muscles Francis up for an impressive F5. An even bigger F5 hits Swann and Dreamer gets punched down as well. Keith and Broner chop it out until Elijah is in at #17.

A big guitar shot hits Broner and another hits Blackwood as the guitar is wrecked. Blackwood and Broner are out, followed by Gray as Elijah does some good work in clearing the ring. Elijah goes Old School (that’s stupid) but eliminates Dreamer anyway. Francis goes up again to pose, earning himself a low blow from King. That doesn’t go well either as King, and then Swann, are tossed by Francis. Real1 and Keith send Francis to the apron as Kevin Knight is in at #18.

Knight slams Charlie as almost everyone else is down on the ropes. Nic Nemeth is in at #19 as the star power in this is impressive. With Ryan Nemeth at ringside, Nic fires off superkicks, including a pair to get rid of Francis. Nic superkicks Elijah and just about everyone is down as EJ Nduka is in at #20 to complete the field. Nduka kicks a bunch of people and gives Knight a heck of a powerbomb.

Real1 gets one of his own as commentary chants about Nduka not being a flyweight. After Dreamer is in the match too, the weight limits go out the window. Nduka gets a running start and hits a crossbody on Keith and Knight, with all three of them being eliminated at once. We’re down to Real1, Nic, Elijah and Charlie. Elijah and Nic wind up on the apron with Ryan helping pull Elijah out…but Nic goes out as well. So we’re down to two with Charlie hitting a splash but Real1 skins the cat and wins at 34:25.

Rating: C+. I liked this a bit more than I was expecting to, as there is something very fun about seeing who is coming through the curtain next. That’s what we had here and it worked pretty well, with quite the lineup. It would have been better if it was pretty much anyone but Real1, but I’ve long since given up on the hope that we’ll be rid of him anytime soon.

Madusa of all people comes out to present the title. Real1 does a Shawn Michaels pose and of course wants a mic. He goes on a rant about how much he deserves this because no one has put up with more than he has. This is what he was made to do and there is no man in wrestling he would ask for advice. Madusa believed in him though and he has no problem asking a woman for advice. This is the first family of 4th Rope and that was for Windham and Brodie. Can’t stand the guy but that was a sweet thing to say.

And now we get extra emotional as here is Chris Bey (in an Evanescence shirt). He’s glad to be back but these people are sick. It’s 3am and these people are at a wrestling show! They’re here because of 4th Rope and for the culture. Bey is having a great weekend and even though he wasn’t able to be on the promotion’s first show, he’s been watching what has been going on. After hitting the promotion’s catchphrase, he sends us to the next match. This is always great to see.

Matt Riddle vs. Gabe Kidd

Kidd drops down to chill for a bit and then does the crane pose from Karate Kid. They go to the grappling with Riddle taking him down for a kneebar before letting it up for the chop off. Kidd hits a corner clothesline into a slam for two before putting Riddle in a chair at ringside. That means more chops but Riddle pops up and fires off his own strikes.

Back in and they fight over a suplex until Riddle gets two off a small package. Riddle’s fisherman’s buster plants Kidd again for a near fall but he catches Riddle up top for a superplex. A brainbuster gets two but Riddle knocks him down again. The Floating Bro connects for two and a running knee gets the same as frustration is setting in for Riddle. Back up and Kidd grabs a victory roll for the fluke pin at 6:52.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and it was nowhere near the other stuff I’ve seen from Kidd. Riddle losing clean is weird enough, but the good thing is that Kidd’s rise continues. He’s going to be a big deal somewhere and this is the kind of win outside of a major promotion that gives him an even brighter future.

Post match respect is shown but Riddle gives him an RKO. Sore loser.

Here is MVP, apparently the Commissioner, to ask if the fans are still with him. After starting a F*** THAT GUY chant for a fan who say something mean, MVP introduces the Flatbush Zombies for some music as the cage is set up for the main event. Points for not just asking the fans to sit there at about 4am.

Then a DJ plays some music.

Then another live performer performs. This eats up quite a long time, closing in on half an hour. I get the idea, but that is a long wait if you’re here for the wrestling.

4th Rope Title: Zilla Fatu vs. Josh Bishop

Fatu is defending in a cage (Justin Roberts gets the name of the title wrong). Fatu headbutts away to start and sends him into the cage a few times, with Bishop already being busted open. The Samoan Spike is blocked though and Bishop grabs a suplex. The slow beating begins and a fall away slam sends Fatu into the cage. A running dropkick does it again for two but Fatu knocks him down again and heads up.

That earns him a crotching on the top, with Bishop following to ram Fatu’s head into the cage. A nice superplex brings him back down for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. Back up and Fatu hits a backdrop and the flying shoulders. A DDT sets up the Superfly Splash for two but Fatu misses a charge into the cage. They both go up top, where Fatu grabs a super Samoan drop. The running Samoan Spike retains the title at 10:09.

Rating: C+. It was nice while it lasted, but it didn’t last that long. Granted it was probably close to 5am local time here, but you would kind of hope for a longer main event, especially in a cage for a title. Zilla feels like someone who could go somewhere if he gets the chance to develop, though that is going to take time. Bishop wasn’t bad either, though this didn’t feel like a big time main event.

Post match a bunch of wrestlers from Reality Of Wrestling, including Journey Fatu, run in to beat Zilla down. Bishop is beaten down as well and Reality Of Wrestling owner Booker T. pops up on screen to say this is just the beginning for 4th Rope. And we seem to have an invasion angle.

Overall Rating: B. It’s very long and the music part wasn’t the most thrilling time (though I’m sure it had its fans), but my goodness what a lineup. You had the Hardys, the Hurt Business, Nic Nemeth and a bunch of other TNA stars. This felt like something closer to the annual WrestleCon Supershow with all kinds of big names. The wrestling was good enough and it had the cool moments with Bey and Hendry. I had a lot of fun with this and it was WAY better than I was expecting.

Results
Leon Slater b. Trevor Lee and Mustafa Ali – Victory roll to Lee
Moose b. Oni King – Spear
Hardys b. TNT – Swanton to Terrell
Mike Santana b. Raj Dhesi – Spin The Block
Masha Slamovich/Alexis Littlefoot b. Hollyhood Haley J/Vix Crow – Rollup to Crow
The Infantry b. Culture Inc. – Double stomp onto a chair to Knight
Tiara James b. Maya World – Backstabber
Real1 won a battle royal last eliminating Cha Cha Charlie
Gabe Kidd b. Matt Riddle – Victory roll
Zilla Fatu b. Josh Bishop – Running Samoan Spike

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 13, 1999: They’re Trying To Get There

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 11,186
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on Unforgiven and the big story continues to be HHH vs. the world. Steve Austin returned last week on Smackdown to nearly kill HHH with a semi truck and that means we might have the challenge for the pay per view in sight. Other than that, the rest of the company is as wacky as usual and that should make for an eventful night. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown is you need a recap.

We look at Steve Austin attempting to murder HHH, who has quite a few people after him.

Opening sequence.

A bunch of people (Undertaker, Big Show, Kane, Mankind, Steve Austin) all seem to be looking for HHH.

Speaking of HHH, he gets a full police motorcade escort.

Here is Linda McMahon, with the Stooges, for a chat. Linda wastes no time in making a five way match tonight for the #1 contendership at Unforgiven. For now though, HHH has to remain champion and if Steve Austin wants a title shot, he can have it. Tonight. Cue HHH and Chyna (with security) to interrupt and things are not looking positive. HHH goes on a rant about how Linda is screwing him over but HHH tells her how things go. Cue Big Show, Undertaker, Rock, Mankind and Kane for a brawl, with HHH escaping.

We recap Jeff Jarrett attacking Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young on Smackdown.

Jarrett issues an open challenge to any woman.

The Rock, with Mankind, talks about how he is back in Anaheim and is ready to face anyone to get to HHH. This includes Mankind, even if they are friends. Mankind is ready to have feelings but he’s ready for Rock to beat him up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

Miss Kitty and Debra are here with Jarrett and it’s….Luna Vachon answering the challenge. Luna charges in and gets stomped down to start, followed by a shot to the face. Jarrett hammers away in the corner but cue Ivory to hit Luna with a guitar for the DQ.

Post match Jarrett does not like Lilian Garcia announcing Luna as the winner so he puts Garcia in the Figure Four.

Chyna is not impressed with Jarrett and threatens Steve Austin with a sledgehammer.

Faarooq vs. D-Von Dudley

Strap match, just because. Faarooq starts fast and snaps off a powerslam before choking with the strap. D-Von fights back and chokes away, followed by some nasty whipping. Back up and the spinebuster gets Faarooq out of trouble, only for Bubba to hit a nasty chair to the head to give D-Von the pin.

Post match Bradshaw gets taken out with the steps but comes back with a chair to clear out the Dudleyz.

Undertaker and Big Show are ready to take out HHH, who is now the hunted instead of the hunter. Even the Crocodile Hunter can’t save them now. As for Rock, they’re going to be on him like the leather pants on the girl in the front row. This is a weird version of Undertaker and hopefully it doesn’t last long.

Jim Ross brings out the British Bulldog for a chat. Last week he gave Al Snow the Hardcore Title back because Snow deserves it. He’s also back because he wants to show that he can still do this after his injury. There is only one belt that he has left to win and that is the WWF Title. That’s the one thing he wants to win before he retires, which won’t be for a long time.

Cue the Big Boss Man to interrupt because he did not like Bulldog interrupting him last week. Before this is over between them, Bulldog is going home in a doggy bag. Cue Al Snow (he’s barking) to sing about where oh where has his Boss Man gone. Snow: “There you are Ray!” Snow recaps the Pepper saga and challenges him to a match, which will involve a cage inside the Cell, but Boss Man is only interested if the Hardcore Title is on the line. Snow says sure, so Boss Man is in, but also ready to fight tonight.

One more thing though: Snow introduces some rottweilers who will be in between the two cages. Bulldog jumps Boss Man from behind and they fight at ringside with Boss Man getting the better of things, only to be chased off by the dogs. You could hear them trying to make sense of this as they were explaining the concept and it was showing badly. No one could make this sound good, as it’s a total mess.

The Mean Street Posse, with Terri, doesn’t like Test so they’re going to beat him up, even if Shane McMahon doesn’t want them to. Oh and Stephanie McMahon is a tramp.

Someone has attacked Shane McMahon.

Tony Chimmel comes out to take over for the Fink.

Joey Abs vs. Test

The rest of the Posse is here too and they all ump Test before the bell, allowing Joey to grab a suplex for an early two. Test gets in a shot of his own though and the comeback is on. A full nelson slam puts Abs down but the Posse comes in again. That’s broken up and Test grabs a powerbomb for the fast pin.

Post match the beatdown is on again but Shane McMahon runs in for the save. The Posse is chased outside with Shane and Test giving chase in their car.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. HHH

Austin, in street clothes, is challenging. Hold on though as HHH is in street clothes as well and has some cops (and Chyna) with him. HHH brings up the aggravated assault from Smackdown and has personally signed a warrant for Austin’s arrest (I don’t think that’s how warrants work). The cops handcuff and arrest Austin, with HHH getting a cheap shot because of course. No match if that wasn’t clear.

Post break Austin is put in a police car and HHH takes Linda McMahon’s phone and throws it down.

Godfather vs. Chaz

Apparently Chaz and Marianna have amicably ended their relationship, so Godfather isn’t going to offer him the ladies this week. Chaz takes him down with a drop toehold to start and works on the arm as the ladies dance and shout a lot on the floor. Some arm cranking ensues but cue Marianna (wit a black eye) to ask Chaz why. Godather isn’t happy and kicks him into the corner, setting up the Ho Train (but an angry one you see), followed by the Pimp Drop for the pin. That’s not a place you want to go with a wrestling storyline and it doesn’t feel great here.

The Stooges try to get Linda McMahon to leave but she’s staying because it’s family business.

We recap X-Pac and Kane going their separate ways.

A cage is lowered and here is Chris Jericho, but believe it or not he has something to say. Jericho calls out Ken Shamrock, who is certainly a SHAM, but he certainly doesn’t work. This is the Jericho Prison and he is ready to prove himself against one of the most proficient fighters in the world. This brings out GOTCH GRACIE, a masked man who has trained everywhere (Lawler: “JR, you probably know where he played college football!”).

Chris Jericho vs. Gotch Gracie

Gracie is in a mask and all black, with his shirt saying GOTCH. Jericho (“Here goes nothing!”) takes him down for a bow and arrow beore grabbing the mic and saying that could have broken his back. Jericho puts on an Octopus Hold and muscles him over for a suplex, with Jericho saying that’s enough. Gracie fights back with a clothesline but gets pulled into the Liontamer for the fast pin.

Post match Jericho goes for an ankle lock but Ken Shamrock runs in. Jericho and Gracie beat Shamrock down and Gracie is unmasked as….Curtis (Mr.) Hughes. That’s not the best reveal but you know exactly what you’re getting with Hughes.

D’Lo Brown and Godfather have a business transaction.

Chris Jericho shows he just proved that he is the most dangerous man in the WWF. He went out and got Curtis Hue to protect Shamrock from Jericho himself.

Kane vs. Mankind vs. Big Show vs. Undertaker vs. The Rock

For a title shot at Unforgiven and for some reason Undertaker and Show are introduced with a combined weight. The two of them jump Mankind before everyone else get here but argue over the pin. Rock and Kane come out as well with Kane hitting the top rope clothesline on Mankind.

Cue Mideon and Viscera to jump Mankind as this is just a big brawl rather than much of a match. Mankind manages a double arm DDT on Kane but Undertaker drops the referee. Rock gives Undertaker a DDT into the People’s Elbow as another referee comes in, only to get taken out by Kane.

More referees and agents come in and get decked as well, followed by Earl Hebner, who throws up his hands and leaves. Cue the Godfather to go after Undertaker (it goes badly), Crash Holly to go after Big Show (it goes worse) and more people who are beaten up just as quickly. The locker room empties out and everyone starts fighting with everyone as this is thrown out.

Rating: C. What is there to say about something like this? It’s barely a match and is much more about a bunch of people brawling before even more people come in to brawl as well. That doesn’t get you very far, but it was certainly energetic. And we still don’t even have a #1 contender as the lack of organization continues.

And no, that isn’t the main event, because it’s 1999.

The referees tell Earl Hebner to do something about these beatings they’re taking.

Val Venis/D’Lo Brown vs. Mark Henry/Steve Blackman

This feels like it belongs on a Lethal Lottery show. Well hang on as Henry isn’t here so Blackman bets up Venis on his own. Venis fights back and hands it off to Brown, who misses an elbow and gets caught with a dropkick. It’s back to Venis for a spinebuster but Blackman hits an enziguri for two more. Venis is right back with a fisherman’s suplex into the Low Down for the fast pin. It’s almost weird to see a straight match with nothing screwy going on.

The screwiness is after the match as GTV pops on to show Henry getting a lap dance from Godfather’s ladies.

A limousine, with a police escort, arrives.

WWF Title: HHH vs. ???

HHH, in street clothes and with Chyna, is defending and calls out Linda McMahon of all people. HHH wants Linda to say that Steve Austin has forfeited his title shot and has to start all the way at the bottom again. Linda: “No.” That has HHH ready to go after Linda but cue Vince McMahon to make the save. Vince says he gave his word that he wouldn’t interfere in business, but this is personal.

They’re ready to fight so here is Austin (also in street clothes and again, I don’t think this company knows how the legal system works) to start the brawl, and apparently the match, with HHH. Austin beats him around the ring and into the crowd, setting up a suplex on the floor. A bunch of chair shots and a right hand to Earl Hebner are enough to get Austin disqualified.

Rating: C. This was an angle rather than a match (I’m shocked too) and that’s all it needed to be. Austin being back in the arena so soon after a big angle earlier means it should have been a brawl like this, but that’s quite the match to just burn off in three minutes. Either way, the fans were going nuts and I guess that’s what matters the most?

Post match the cage is lowered and Austin beats HHH up both inside and outside to end the show.

We get about five extra minutes, called Extra Attitude, of Austin beating on HHH even more and drinking beer. Real revolutionary stuff there, though the cage is kind of swinging back and forth for a weird feeling.

Overall Rating: C. They were trying to have something coherent here but it was just enough of a mixture of the Russo style of insanity with something more focused. The overarching story of “everyone is out to get HHH and tonight is Austin’s chance” is fine, but there are so many moving parts that you need a scorecard. It kept my interest, though it had the usual problem of feeling like they had three weeks piled into two hours. Calm the heck down and see how much better the show can be. You can even keep the matches short, but let something sink in for once.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 23, 2023 (Raw XXX): They Know This Stuff

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2023
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Corey Graves, Kevin Patrick

It’s Raw XXX as the company celebrates thirty years on the air. As usual with the big Raw milestone episodes, we’ll be seeing a bunch of legends for special appearances. In addition, there are two title matches and a cage match so the card is stacked. If that isn’t enough, it’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart to get things going. Hogan talks about Raw debuting in 1993, pauses because the mic doesn’t work, praises the Philadelphia Eagles and is all done.

We look at some of the cities the show has taken place in over the years before switching into the big highlight package. The hit a lot of the big names, including a bunch of AEW names, debuts, title changes, reveals and almost anything else you could want. WWE has absolutely not forgotten how to montage.

Here is the Bloodline with their long form entrance for the Trial Of Sami Zayn. After having Philadelphia acknowledge him, Reigns hands the mic to Paul Heyman so we pause for an ECW chant. Heyman: “ECW is dead and I wish the same for Sami Zayn.” Heyman accuses Zayn of being in a conspiracy with Kevin Owens since day one (that was only last January).

Zayn has been trying to lure the Bloodline into a false sense of security, just like the Philadelphia Eagles. Heyman brings up BROCK….Purdy, the quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers, who will beat the Eagles next week. We see some clips of Sami not exactly helping in fights, capped off by Zayn BUMPING INTO REIGNS while going on a rant. Heyman says that should be enough for Zayn to be GUILTY AS CHARGED (nice).

Zayn gets his chance to talk and he wasn’t sure how he was going to feel when he came out here. He can’t believe that he is on trial here, but his defense is that he has no defense. Reigns is disgusted at the disrespect and tells Solo Sikoa to take care of him. The Samoan Spike is loaded up but Jey Uso cuts Sikoa off.

Jey has his own footage, showing a montage of Sami helping the Bloodline over the last few months, including taking out Kevin Owens in WarGames. Jey talks about how Sami saw the good in him the entire time and that’s what family does. Fans: “UCEY!” We get a fan poll of whether Sami should stay and the fans seem pretty unanimous.

Jimmy even agrees and Reigns gets to his feet. Reigns finds Zayn not guilty…..for now. In the meantime, Sami can finish out tonight by making the Bloodline proud. After that, Reigns doesn’t want to see or hear from Sami until the Royal Rumble, where Sami delivers his final test. There’s your drama for Owens vs. Reigns on Saturday as this story takes a pretty big step forward.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Judgment Day

The Usos are defending and have Sami Zayn in the corner to counter Finn Balor/Rhea Ripley. Jimmy and Dominik start things off but Jimmy has to kick Priest to the floor. Priest Pounces Jimmy over the announcers’ table and the champs are in trouble. Back in and Dominik chokes a bit, only to have Jimmy get over to Jey without much trouble. The running Umaga attack gets two on Dominik but Priest is back in with a superkick.

Priest hits the step up flip dive to take the Usos down again. Back in and the Usos fire off some superkicks to drop Priest and Dominik, but Balor offers a distraction. The referee catches Balor crotching Jey and gets ejected, leaving Priest to get superkicked down. Jimmy’s Superfly Splash gets…..two and everyone can breathe a bit. Jimmy takes Priest down on the floor and hold on as Jimmy has hurt his knee.

The referee throws up the X and Jimmy is taken out, with Adam Pearce saying if Jimmy is out, the match and titles are forfeited. Sami says not so fast, as Sami USO is ready to go, with Pearce saying let’s go. We get back to the match with Sami diving on Dominik and Priest on the floor. Dominik grabs a quick rollup with his feet on the ropes for two but Sami suplexes him into the corner. Ripley breaks up the Helluva Kick though and it’s South Of Heaven from Priest to give Dominik two.

The 619 is broken up by Jey’s superkick but Jey can’t bring himself to superkick Ripley. The distraction lets Dominik hit the 619 on Jey and the frog splash gets two as Sami makes a diving save of his own. Priest goes shoulder first into the post so Dominik dumps Sami, who is back in with a blind tag. The superkick into the 1D retains the titles at 14:06.

Rating: B+. I needed a breath after that one as those were some crazy hot near falls. They had me believing that Judgment Day could have taken the titles more than once and it was one close two count after another. This was one of the best Raw matches WWE in years and one of the better things WWE has done anywhere in a good while. Everything was laid out so well and the wrestlers executed it to near perfection.

In the back, Roman Reigns says he still doesn’t want to see Sami until the Royal Rumble.

JBL and Baron Corbin ask the Godfather to put him in the poker game. Godfather will have to ask the host. Said host happens to be Ron Simmons, who is happy with a payoff to get Corbin’s name on the list. They go into the APA’s office and it’s pretty much a full on casino with all kinds of wrestlers and wrestling personalities included.

Here is LA Knight who says he is all man and doesn’t want to wait for the Pitch Black match. He calls out any legend…..and the gong sounds. And then it’s the American Bad***, with song and motorcycle. Knight talks about how he’s going to have everyone chanting his name….and then the lights go out. Bray Wyatt, with lantern, pops up to back Knight into Undertaker, who grabs him by the throat. Bray gets inside and Undertaker tosses Knight over for Sister Abigail. Fans: “HOLY S***!” Undertaker goes to leave but stops to whisper something to Bray before riding off.

We go back to the poker game, where Madusa (with Women’s Title belt) seems to win but loses to Diamond Dallas Page.

Bayley vs. Becky Lynch

In a cage with pinfall, submission or escape. Hold on though as Becky has to beat up the rest of Damage Ctrl on the floor. All of Damage Ctrl gets inside to beat on Becky before the bell rings. Adam Pearce finally gets inside as Damage Ctrl sits on top of the cage. No match.

Here is D-Generation X, with Kurt Angle. Road Dogg does the catchphrase but asks why Angle is here. Kurt says he always wanted to be in the team and pulls off his own shirt to reveal a DX shirt. Hold on as Kurt will have to pass a test. HHH: “Are you ready?” Kurt: “Was that the test?” They load up the bigger catchphrase but Imperium of all people interrupts. Imperium doesn’t like these degenerates and a fight is teased. HHH: “I’m retired.” Shawn: “I’m too old.” Dogg: “Who am I kidding?”

We get a DX huddle and HHH volunteers Kurt to fight. Kurt: “No I won’t.” Dogg: “We’re in a pickle.” Cue Seth Rollins and then the Street Profits and we seem to have a six man. Dogg thinks we need to make it official and looks at HHH for an announcement. HHH: “Why does everybody look at me for something like this? This booking stuff isn’t easy!” We need someone body out there to make sense of this. Cue Teddy Long for the only possible payoff, but we also need a guest referee. Kurt just happens to have a referee shirt on too (red white and blue stripes of course) and we’re ready to go after some funny stuff.

Imperium vs. Seth Rollins/Street Profits

Kurt Angle is guest referee and Jerry Lawler is on commentary. Vinci’s headlock on Rollins doesn’t last long so it’s off to Ford, who gets clotheslined down. Kaiser comes in and strikes it out with Dawkins for a double knockdown. That means the tags to Gunther and Rollins with Gunther taking over and knocking Rollins out of the air.

We take a break and come back with Rollins fighting out of a chinlock and backflipping out of a belly to back suplex. The hot tag brings in Ford and the Profits grab stereo ankle locks. That’s too far for Gunther, who comes in and breaks them up. Gunther stares Angle down and pokes him in the chest, with Rollins coming in for the save. The Profits hit the flip dives to the floor, leaving Rollins to get dropkicked and powerbombed to give Gunther two. Rollins is back in with an Angle Slam and the Profits hit a Doomsday Blockbuster on Kaiser. A Pedigree sends Gunther outside and it’s a frog splash into the Stomp to finish Vinci at 13:03.

Rating: C+. It was a good six man, with the most important part being Gunther not taking the fall. They had me worried that Rollins would pin him to set something up between them (which might be the case anyway even without the pin) as it wasn’t the time for Gunther to get beaten. The Profits and Rollins winning works well and they had a good match on the way there, though DX and Angle were the stars of the whole deal.

Back to the poker game where Ted DiBiase loses a fortune….but IRS wants JBL and Baron Corbin to pay their taxes and takes the money back. Well save for $100. Ron Simmons, catchphrase.

Bobby Lashley promises to get the US Title back when MVP interrupts. MVP again offers the reunion but Lashley isn’t in.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat. He hits the catchphrases and introduces Charlotte for the big family moment. Charlotte thanks the other women for making her such a decorated champion but this will always be her show. Cue Bianca Belair to interrupt, saying she goes here now and this is her show. Cue Sonya Deville to ask about her recognition for working so hard. Charlotte owes Deville but offers Belair the chance to deal with Deville. Deal.

Sonya Deville vs. Bianca Belair

Non-title. Belair flips over her to start but Deville gets in a shot to the face. Back up and Belair is sent into the corner, where she backflips over Deville and hits a backbreaker. A running boot knocks Deville outside but Belair gets sent into the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Deville dropping her again for two but Belair pops up and hits the KOD for the pin at 8:33 (it’s as sudden as it sounds).

Rating: D. That was a weird ending and it wouldn’t shock me if something was cut for time. In addition to that though, the match was quite the mess as it felt like a complete lack of chemistry. Deville feels in way over her head and it doesn’t help that she seems to be there as a filler challenger to Charlotte until we get to the important stuff. Not a good match whatsoever, but at least it didn’t take up too much time.

Post match Belair says that was just a preview for what she is going to do to Alexa Bliss. Cue Bliss on screen, talking into a mirror about how violent she can be with no one helping her.

Video on Cody Rhodes’ 2022 before he returns this weekend at the Royal Rumble.

John Cena is the cover star for WWE 2K23.

Here is Miz to ask where his special time on this show is. Cue Kevin Owens to Stun Miz and leave him laying, promising to take out Roman Reigns at the Rumble.

Royal Rumble rundown.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Austin Theory

Lashley is challenging and this is No DQ. Lashley goes with the power to start and clotheslines him out to the floor. The posting rocks Theory and we take an early break. Back with Theory slipping out of the delayed suplex and catching Lashley with the rolling dropkick for a stagger.

Lashley is fine enough to send him to the apron for a running forearm and the table is sent inside. The Hurt Lock is broken up but Lashley sends him face first into a chair in the corner. Lashley loads up the table, only to get sprayed with a fire extinguisher. A whip into the steps keeps Lashley in trouble and we take a break.

Back with Lashley hitting a superplex, leaving both of them down. The spear through the table in the corner is broken up and Theory kicks him low. Lashley is fine enough to put Theory through another table….and Brock Lesnar is here. The F5 plants Lashley and another one to Theory puts him on top of Lashley to retain at 14:23.

Rating: C+. You almost have to expect that Lesnar is going to show up somewhere in there on these shows and going after Lashley again isn’t a surprise. Given that Lashley mentioned a rematch with Lesnar was coming soon, they were kind of telegraphing the whole thing. That should be a heck of a fight, though this one was only pretty good, with Theory retaining in the right result.

Overall Rating: B. This was kind of an all over the place show, but the biggest problem was the first hour, as nothing was touching that Bloodline segment and the Tag Team Title match. Other than that, you had a few random cameos from the legends and a bunch of classic stills, but the majority of the show was just an amped up Raw. I liked more than enough of it for the show to be a success, but it wasn’t quite as much of a nostalgia trip as I was expecting.

Results
Usos b. Judgment Day – 1D to Dominik
Seth Rollins/Street Profits b. Imperium – Frog splash to Vinci
Bianca Belair b. Sonya Deville – KOD
Austin Theory b. Bobby Lashley – F5

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – XVI (2020 Redo): McMahamania

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was one of the shows that tied for the most votes for a redo but I’ve seen Wrestlemania X, the other option, more times than I really need to and this sounded more interesting. It’s kind of an infamous Wrestlemania as there are no singles matches on the entire show but it is the biggest show of the year in the best year WWE has ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner. Sweet goodness she can knock that out of the park.

The opening video is a quick “hey it’s Wrestlemania” before looking at the four way main event with a McMahon in each corner. That’s all that really matters here, but it’s quite the big deal.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice T. raps Godfather and Brown to the floor with an original song, including telling the fans to “GRAB YOUR B******!” Brown slugs away at Buchanan to start and it’s off to Godfather in a hurry. That means a slam into the spinning legdrop, only to miss the big elbow (which would have missed by three feet anyway). Boss Man comes in and the fans aren’t pleased, mainly because this is their opener.

It’s back to Buchanan, who hits that perfect top rope spinning clothesline so Boss Man can come in for the running crotch attack to the back. A big boot into the ax kick gets two as Lawler can’t help but freak out over Godfather’s ladies. Buchanan whips Brown into the steps and it’s back inside for the bearhug.

The fans get on Boss Man again as Brown fights out, only to get caught with a backbreaker as JR makes XFL references. Buchanan goes up so Godfather shakes the rope for the crotching. A hurricanrana allows the hot tag to Godfather and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Everything breaks down and it’s a Boss Man Slam to Brown, followed by the great looking guillotine legdrop for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. What a completely bizarre opener. This would have been a filler match on any given episode of Raw and it’s the first thing you see on Wrestlemania? With the heels winning? It’s a really weird choice here and serves no major purpose, so why go this way? The crowd was surprised and a bit deflated, which is a rather stupid choice to open the show. Totally weird one here.

HHH and Stephanie, the Women’s Champion, are rather chill before the huge main event.

We see Crash handing over the Hardcore Title so it can be defended in the Hardcore Battle Royal.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Crash, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Hardcore Holly, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Mosh, Thrasher, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending and this is a big free for all with falls counting anywhere. Whoever gets the final fall leaves as champion, with no limit on the title changes allowed. It’s a brawl to start and Tazz suplexes Crash for the pin at 24 seconds. Viscera grabs Tazz for a posting and a World’s Strongest Slam gives him the title at 56 seconds.

A bunch of people brawl around the ring but another bunch go after Viscera. The Acolytes can’t put him down, though Hardcore can bust Crash open with a shot to the head. The weapons shots continue with no one getting any serious advantage until Hardcore hits Viscera with a cookie sheet for two. More violence ensues as we hit five minutes, though Viscera is starting to slow down.

Back in and Viscera hits various people with the cookie sheet….before going up top. The Acolytes slam him down and Faarooq breaks a 2×4 over his back. A top rope shoulder drops Viscera and the Acolytes put Kai En Tai on top so….Funaki can win the title with 7:37 to go. Taka immediately turns on Funaki, who sprints to the back in a smart move indeed. The Mean Street Posse catches him in the back and Rodney whips Funaki into a barricade to win the title with 6:51 to go.

Abs suplexes him for the title at 6:37 to go but gets sent into a door so Thrasher can pin him with 6:18 to go. Back in the arena and the bloody Pete Gas sprays Thrasher with a fire extinguisher for the title with 5:32 to go. They go back to ringside and Tazz suplexes Pete for the title with 4:44 to go. In the confusion, Tazz even rolls Thrasher up for one, with the referee counting out of insanity. The Hollys double team Tazz inside until he trashcan lids his way to freedom, including a shot to Crash’s head for two.

We have two minutes left as the Hollys fight over who gets to pin Tazz, as you might have seen coming. Hardcore’s dropkick gets two with a minute left but he gets suplexed out, leaving him alone in the ring. Crash comes back in for a cookie sheet shot for the title at 37 seconds left.

Tazz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore busts a jar of candy over Tazz’s head for the pin and the title at 1 second left to win the thing at 15:00. That was a botched ending as the referee stopped counting at 2 because Hardcore came in too early and shouldn’t have gotten the pin. Also, allegedly, Tazz was supposed to get a run as Intercontinental Champion (possibly in the role that went to Chris Benoit) but the glass got in his eye and he was out of action for a few months as a result.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to say about this one, but the biggest problem is it goes on a bit too long. Cut this down to ten minutes and it’s better, as what they have loses its charm a bit near the end. The ending being botched didn’t help things either and there is no big moment that makes you chuckle. It’s not a disaster or anything, but it’s nothing memorable either.

We look at Axxess, which was still a new thing back then. Chris Jericho thinks everyone is here to him, and he might be right. It’s so weird seeing it still be what looks to be a smaller function, compared to the insanity that it is today. This goes on for a good while, likely to clean up the arena.

We look at the battle royal ending again, because it was that much of a mess.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall because he has some idea. Steve Blackman comes in and tells him to be serious.

We cut to a closeup of Trish Stratus’ chest, just in case you thought the next match meant a thing.

Al Snow/Steve Blackman vs. T&A

Hold on though as Snow, who has dubbed his team Head Cheese, brings out……CHESTER MCCHEESETON, a man in a cheese suit, as a mascot. Blackman slides between Test’s legs to start as JR’s microphone has gone out, much to Lawler’s delight. Snow comes in and gets kicked in the face in the corner as Lawler isn’t even trying to do play by play (makes sense).

An enziguri takes Albert down so it’s back to Blackman, who gets shouldered down. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Test gets sent outside. That leaves Albert to get suplexed and Snow slowly hammers away as the match somehow grinds to more of a halt. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Chester starts hitting on Trish. Lawler: “It’s like Chester the Molester.”

Albert knocks Blackman away and brings in Test to pick up the pace in a weird near hot tag from the heels. A powerbomb gets two on Snow because this needs to keep going, including the bowling shoe line from JR. Snow is back up with a backbreaker/guillotine legdrop combination for two on Test. Albert gorilla presses Test onto Blackman for two with Snow making the save. He gets knocked down, leaving Blackman to get press slammed again, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: F. Other than Trish, this is one of the most irredeemable matches I’ve seen in years. There was no heat, there was no good action and there was no reason to keep this going. I’m not sure what the thinking was going into this but it was a disaster in every sense of the word. This is up there with some of the worst Wrestlemania matches ever and the only reason it’s not higher is the stakes are so low.

Post match, Snow and Blackman beat up Chester because the loss was his fault. Somehow, this made things even worse, if that’s possible.

Kat is sans clothing in the back with Mae Young and we get an Austin Powers style gag with Mae holding up various objects at rather opportune times to cover various things.

The Dudley Boyz aren’t happy with being in a ladder match but they’re ready to walk out as champions. This is when Bubba still had the southern accent and it’s bizarre to see these days.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

The Dudleys are defending in the first ever triangle ladder match. There isn’t exactly a story here, because that would be missing the point in a match like this. Edge and Christian jump the Hardys before the bell and the fight is on with the champs still in the aisle. As usual, the three brawls break out at the same time and they wind up all around the arena. Bubba gives Jeff a Bubba Bomb and Christian throws in the first ladder.

Everyone winds up inside with ladders crushing the Dudleys in the corner. Edge gets laddered down as well and Jeff hits a DDT on Bubba. Jeff’s 450 hits ladder though, leaving Bubba to put the ladder on him and Bubba Bomb said ladder. Another ladder is put on top of Matt so Edge rides a ladder down, Shawn Michaels style, to crush him again. Back up and Bubba puts the ladder on his head for the Terry Funk helicopter spot until the Canadians dropkick him down.

The double flapjack puts D-Von into the ladder in the corner, followed by Christian climbing a ladder and diving down onto Bubba and Matt. Jeff climbs up so Edge spears him off the top rope in a big crash. Multiple ladders are set up in the middle and it’s Bubba cuttering Christian off for the next double knockdown. The Hardys are back up with the splash/legdrop combination to Bubba, followed by a superplex to bring D-Von off the ladder.

Edge and Christian and the Hardys climb but take each other back down and it’s a huge double crash. A third ladder is set up and all six climb, with the Hardys taking a crazy bump over the top to the floor, with Christian and Edge being shoved onto the ropes for a nice crash of their own. Back in and Christian gets crushed with the ladder, leaving Edge to take 3D (the old version, with Bubba getting a running start). Some tables are thrown in and the Dudleys bridge one up on top of a pair of ladders like a scaffold.

The Hardys make the save because that took a long time but the Dudleys are right back up too. Bubba sets up a table at ringside and climbs onto a table (JR: “Not the Spanish announce table!”) and powerbombs Matt through it. D-Von’s splash misses Jeff and only hits table so Jeff runs the barricade at Bubba, who throws a ladder at him for the nasty crash.

Just to make it worse, Bubba sets up the huge ladder in the aisle with a table for a bonus. Christian pops back up and saves Jeff with a bell shot though, leaving Bubba on the table. You know what that means, as Jeff goes up and hits the CRAZY Swanton to crush Bubba (who sells it like death). Back in and Matt goes up, only to get shoved off the platform and through the table, leaving Edge and Christian to win their first (of a freaking ton) Tag Team Titles at 22:31.

Rating: A. I could watch these every day, but egads they are some violent matches. They beat the heck out of each other and it’s some of the most exciting things you’ll see. One of them was once told that they weren’t supposed to be telling stories in these matches but they were managing to pull it off. That’s absolutely the case, as the series of matches that started here would just get better. It’s almost impossible to believe they would wind up being so amazing, but this was quite awesome in its own right, with the ending being a pretty cool visual. Check this out if you haven’t in awhile.

Linda McMahon tells Mick Foley to go get it tonight. Foley talks about how this is the biggest show of the year and it’s the biggest match ever, so it’s the biggest match of all time. Tonight, he’s proving that fairy tales come true for him. I’ve watched a lot of Foley over the years and you can hear it in his voice: this means the world to him.

The Kat vs. Terri

Mae Young and Moolah are the respective seconds, Val Venis is refereeing and you win by throwing the other woman to the floor. Val gets in his usual jokes about how this is the big show and only comes once a year, but…..yeah you get the joke here. The catfight is on in a hurry but Kat stops to kiss Val. A few hair tosses let Terri pose but Kat nails a spear. Mae gets on the apron and tries to take off her clothes, meaning Val misses Kat throwing Terri out. Moolah goes after Terri so Mae can kiss Val, allowing Moolah to pull Kat to the floor, giving Terri the win at 2:23. This was somehow worse than the usual women’s match of the day.

Post match Mae hits Moolah and gives her the Bronco Buster. Kat strips off Terri’s pants for a bonus.

The Radicalz are ready for their six man match but Eddie Guerrero is more worried about his hair. And Chyna.

Chyna is disgusted.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

The Radicalz (minus Benoit here) have only been around about two and a half months here. Eddie and Scotty circle each other to start until Eddie’s headlock makes Scotty lose his hat. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Eddie so Scotty dances over to Chyna, meaning Eddie needs to crawl to the corner in a hurry. As JR talks about Chyna looking great, it’s a double suplex to drop Dean, allowing Chyna and Grandmaster to dance a bit.

Grandmaster slams Malenko and makes that weird noise of his, followed by a belly to back suplex to Guerrero. Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop though and it’s the Radicalz taking over for the first time. Just to make it personal, Saturn STEALS GRANDMASTER’S HEAD THING and stomps away even more. Grandmaster doesn’t like the hat stealing and gets over for the tag a few seconds later, only to have Scotty get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Lawler: “Chyna starting to feel the heat. She’s starting to perspire and get moist!”

Eddie gyrates at her a bit before sending her into the turnbuckle, earning himself a Grandmaster suplex to the floor. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Worm (JR: “Not the double Worm! Well it is Wrestlemania!”) to Saturn and Malenko. The referee grabs Chyna to keep her from killing Eddie and Saturn superkicks Scotty.

The always great looking top rope elbow mostly misses so Scotty can superplex Eddie down. Chyna comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, including a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie tries to powerbomb Chyna but she slips out into one of her own (with almost no elevation), setting up the gorilla press for the big spot. A sleeper drop finishes Guerrero at 9:39.

Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t anything great but they did an awesome job of firing up the crowd. The people wanted to see what they were doing here and it was a lot of fun as a result. They pulled me into this and I was having a good time with the whole thing. Chyna wasn’t what she used to be but the stuff with Eddie was awesome and would get better the next night when they got together.

Some fans won a contest and were flown to Wrestlemania on the day of the show.

Shane McMahon is ready for Big Show to win the WWF Title.

We see Kurt Angle laying out Bob Backlund for getting him in a two fall triple threat match. Angle didn’t need him anymore and never really did in the first place so good job on splitting them up.

Kurt Angle tries to get extra security after he retains his titles tonight. He’s willing to sign autographs for the guard’s kids! Maybe. Goofy, delusional Kurt is one of my all time favorites and always has been.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and this is a two fall match, with the Intercontinental Title on the line first and the European Title second. Jericho can’t guarantee walking out as a champion but he’ll walk out as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah. As for Kirk Angel and Mr. Roboto, they can have a shirt remind them of their trip to Anaheim and a Y2J beating. Jericho was still finding his footing with the signature promos in the WWF but they would get way better in a hurry.

They start fast with Benoit getting the better of it until Jericho triangle dropkicks the two of them to the floor. Jericho goes up but gets shoved down onto the announcers’ table, leaving Benoit to suplex Angle for two. Back in and Jericho dropkicks Angle down for two more but has to break up Angle’s cover on Benoit for the same. Angle suplexes Jericho for another two and a dropkick puts Benoit on the floor. The crossface chickenwing has Jericho in trouble but Benoit makes the save. A Swan Dive finishes Jericho for the first fall and the Intercontinental Title at 7:54.

Benoit gets smart by going for the cover on Jericho again but Angle comes in with a suplex for his own two. Jericho catches Angle on top but Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho, leaving Angle to miss the moonsault. Everyone is down until Benoit has to save Angle from the Walls. The spinwheel kick puts Benoit on the floor and it’s the double powerbomb to Angle. Benoit is right back in with the rolling German suplexes for two on Jericho as Angle makes another save.

There’s a dragon suplex for two on Angle, with the most ridiculous count I’ve seen in a long time as Angle’s shoulder is on top of Benoit’s. The ref gets bumped (maybe it can fix his eyes), meaning Benoit making Jericho tap to the Crossface doesn’t mean anything. A belt shot drops Jericho as the referee is back up, just as Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Jericho gets back in and Lionsaults Benoit for the European Title at 13:47.

Rating: B. This is always a weird one as it’s some pretty intricate booking (with Angle being very protected in losing both titles) but it didn’t feel urgent for a lot of the match. They were just going from move to move a lot of the time, but it’s still one of the best things on the show. It’s not like these three could ever do badly, so the match was entertaining and almost non-stop action, so it’s a lot more good than bad.

Vince McMahon promises to be a factor and guarantees to make it right.

HHH doesn’t care about what Vince says because tonight he’s going to show everyone who the man is.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Kane/Rikishi

X-Pac and Dogg have Tori with them, along with the awesome Run-DMC theme. Kane on the other hand has Paul Bearer and the always cool inverted red and black attire. Tori slaps Bearer to start so Kane grabs her by the throat as Rikishi gives Road Dogg the Stinkface. X-Pac and Dogg fail to run away and we settle down to X-Pac kicking hitting the Bronco Buster on Rikishi.

Dogg’s dancing punches set up the shaky knee for two but Rikishi grabs a pop up cutter (that’s an awesome move and someone should use it as a finisher). It’s back to Kane and the pain begins in a hurry. X-Pac gets away from the threat of a Stinkface so Tori takes it instead, giving the fans what they had been waiting on. The Tombstone finishes X-Pac at 4:16.

Rating: D. The match was just a means to an end here as you needed a way to get to Tori taking the Stinkface and X-Pac getting dropped on his head. That’s fine from a storyline perspective, though I’m not sure I would have had it second from the top of Wrestlemania. Not a good match, but what were you expecting given this lineup?

Post match Too Cools out, meaning it’s time to dance. Hold on though as the San Diego Chicken, as in the disguise that Pete Rose wore last year, is here as well. Dancing ensues and the Chicken is far too good of a dancer to be Pete Rose. Kane grabs the chicken (there has to be a joke there somehow) but Rose runs in with the baseball bat. Rikishi takes that away so Kane chokeslams Rose, setting up the Stinkface to end the Rose saga for a good many years.

Rock is ready for the final battle and of course he would do it all over again. This is Wrestlemania and it’s not about the McMahons (oh please) because it’s all about the WWF Championship and tonight is the night.

Some celebrities are here.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. HHH

HHH is defending, elimination rules, and there’s a McMahon in every corner, with Vince, Linda, Shane and Stephanie here respectively. They might as well have just had the McMahons working the match as they’re the only things that matter here. JR: “Not Mankind, not Dude Love, not Mankind, but Mick Foley is in the main event of Wrestlemania!” That made me smile so much. Foley and HHH pair off as Rock punches Show in the corner to start in a hurry. HHH gets hammered down to start up the running knee but Show runs them both over with a double clothesline.

Rock gets gorilla pressed and there’s one for HHH as well. Foley tries choking Show, who drops down hard onto him to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a side slam to Rock but Foley kicks Show low to break up a chokeslam to HHH. It’s time to triple team Show, including a series of clotheslines to finally knock him down. The Cactus Clothesline takes HHH to the floor, meaning Foley can beat on HHH with a chair. Shane gets knocked off the apron and a chair shot to Show lets the Rock Bottom get the first pin at 4:48.

Show and Shane both leave, meaning ringside is a little less crowded. HHH gets smart by offering a deal with Foley and that’s a big negative. Rock on the other hand says sure, before punching HHH in the face as you might have seen coming. They head outside with HHH getting double teamed even more as Stephanie tries to learn how to emote. Foley whips HHH into a Rock clothesline but a bell shot knocks Foley silly. HHH sends Rock into a few things, but the delay lets Foley find the barbed wire 2×4.

It winds up going into Foley’s ribs though, meaning Rock had to make a save from even more violence. A double arm DDT sets up the Mandible Claw and Rock adds a belt shot. That means the People’s Elbow, but Foley grabs the Claw on the Rock in a smart move. HHH low blows both of them (maybe not the brightest move) and everyone is down for a bit. Foley hammers Rock a bit and gets two off the DDT, with the fans being rather relieved by the kickout.

Rock kicks the chair into Foley’s face and a DDT gets two, with HHH making a rather illogical save. NOW Foley is willing to team up on Rock and the fans really aren’t sure what to think of this one. The running knee gets two on Rock and this time HHH doesn’t make a save. There’s a double suplex for two more and the ROCKY chants start up again.

A steps shot puts Rock down and Foley loads up the middle rope elbow, only to slam HARD ribs first into the side of the announcers’ table (it’s sad seeing that he just can’t do it here). HHH drives Foley through the table and Pedigrees Foley for two, with a big reaction from the crowd. A chair to the head sets up a Pedigree onto the chair to get rid of Foley (for good I’m sure) at 19:40.

Foley gets the hero’s sendoff…..but he’s not done yet. He comes back and hits HHH with the barbed wire 2×4 before leaving with a BANG BANG. Rock gets two and it’s time for the big slugout, followed by the clothesline to send HHH outside again. They fight up the aisle and Rock suplexes him on the stage. HHH is sent into the set and they fight through the crowd to get back to ringside. Rock grabs the steps but HHH chairs them into his face and then unloads on the steps with the chair for a bonus.

A hard piledriver onto the steps has JR demanding/begging that the match be stopped and gives HHH a rather delayed two back inside. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top so they fight into the crowd again. After knocking Rock over the barricade, HHH knocks a fan’s hat off to be extra nasty. Rock gets in a shot of his own and they’re both down at ringside again. A suplex sends HHH through the announcers’ table and it’s another double knockdown.

HHH sends Rock inside so Vince posts HHH, drawing Shane back out to jump Vince (you knew this stuff was coming). A monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly and gives us one of the funniest stunned expressions I’ve ever seen from Stephanie (look that one up if you get the chance). Vince fights up and beats on Shane, because the main event of Wrestlemania can be ignored for the sake of more drama between these two. A chair to the head drops Vince and Shane even threatens the massive Michael Clarke Duncan at ringside.

Cue Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco to get the busted open Vince out of here so we can go back to the actual match. Rock DDTs HHH for two but a shot to the face puts Rock right back down. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult to cut off an interfering Shane and the Rock Bottom connects. There’s no cover due to exhaustion so here’s Vince again (a full two minutes after he left) to go after Shane yet again. Vince grabs the chair….and of course turns on Rock with a shot to the head for two. Another chair shot from Vince retains the title at 36:26.

Rating: C-. It’s too much. There were so many instances here where I kept wondering how many more times we were going to have the McMahons get involved or have the guys fight into the crowd. Storyline wise, this would have been WAY better as a run of the mill singles match, but I can go with having Foley in there for the sentimental moment. Show….well they had an extra McMahon. At the end of the day though, it was all about the McMahons instead of Rock winning the title like he should have, with the family stuff being more of the same stuff we had seen for years. It’s not terrible, but cut out the nonsense and it’s better.

Post match Vince and Stephanie hug because all is well in part of the McMahon Family again. Shane comes in to look at Vince but gets Rock Bottomed. Vince gets one as well and Stephanie takes the third in a row, followed by the People’s Elbow.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it missed pretty badly. The problem here comes down to the fact that most of the matches just aren’t very good. TLC Beta and the triple threat are both great to rather good, but no one cared about the ladder match after TLC debuted five months later and the trio would have one great match against each other after another on higher levels. This doesn’t really feel like a Wrestlemania as there is way too much stuff that serves as little more than filler. It’s not the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it’s rather close to the bottom of the pile.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

2020 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

2020 Redo: A

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2020 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: B-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

2020 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Where did that six person tag one come from? And have I ever been that all over the place like I am on the Hardcore Battle Royal?

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-2015-redo-time-to-play-the-game/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Smackdown – September 21, 2007: The Wedding Show

Smackdown
Date: September 21, 2007
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Unforgiven and that means we have a new World Champion as Batista defeated the Great Khali and Rey Mysterio to win the title back. Batista might be in some fast trouble though as he has to deal with the returning Undertaker, who has defeated Mark Henry and wants the title as well. On top of that (maybe), it’s time for Kristal and Teddy Long to get married. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

It’s the season premiere and Maria is our guest host, including some guests: the Ying Yang Twins, plus Coach and Vince McMahon. Maria congratulates Vince on his son Hornswoggle, who is NOT here tonight. Coach would rather talk to the Twins, who he thinks are country singers. Yang: “I like Hornswoggle more than I like him.”

Opening sequence.

Here is Batista for a chat and he is very excited about his new suit and his new title. He congratulates Rey Mysterio and knows Rey will be World Champion again, but for now, Great Khali is cashing in his rematch clause so there will be a Punjabi Prison match at No Mercy. Cue Mark Henry to say he is going to end Undertaker’s career next week but he can take Batista’s title whenever he wants. Batista: “You are as stupid as you are ugly.” The challenge seems to be accepted.

Maria is dancing with the Ying Yang Twins when Jeff Hardy comes in. The Twins seem to like the Intercontinental Title, which Yang gets to hold. Then Jeff dances.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie takes over to start but Yang is right back up with a standing hurricanrana. Noble knocks him down again and goes after the arm before elbowing Yang in the head. The armbar goes on but Yang is back up with an enziguri, only to get pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. The rope is grabbed but hold on as Noble sees Hornswoggle’s hat at ringside. The hat is on Shannon Moore though, and the distraction lets Yang hit the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well that was quick and mostly harmless, at least until they got to the Noble Hates Hornswoggle of course, because that is the kind of dumb idea that WWE keeps obsessing over. That being said, it isn’t like there is anything else going on in the cruiserweight division so this is about all we can get. That should explain the problem with the division as well as anything else.

Matt Hardy and MVP’s latest competition is throwing footballs through a tire. MVP has to cheat to survive so Matt says he can win at anything, including wrestling. We’ll worry about that later though as they have a tag match next.

Undertaker is back next week.

MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Matt tags MVP in to start and it’s a suplex to put Deuce down. A double elbow is loaded up but MVP switches to a solo clothesline instead. There’s a double suplex for the same but the fans seem to be more about Hardy than anyone else. Deuce takes MVP down into the corner though and we take a break. Back with MVP having to fight out of a chinlock but getting knocked into the corner to keep up the beating.

A side kick misses though and MVP is back with a faceplant for a breather. Domino can’t cut off the hot tag again and it’s back to Matt to clean house. The middle rope elbow to the back of the neck drops Domino and a corner bulldog/clothesline combination takes both of them down for two. The Side Effect drops Domino but Matt loads up the Twist of Face and, after walking into the corner so MVP can tag himself in, gets rather annoyed. MVP gets knocked off the apron so Matt hits a neckbreaker, only to get rolled up to give Domino the pin.

Rating: C. The struggles continue as the story continues, which is not a bad thing. Matt and MVP don’t get along in the first place and it is good to see a regular team managing to beat them. You can only get so far with a team that can’t stand each other beating regular teams so this was the smart way to go.

Post match, arguing ensues.

Teddy Long’s family and friends are ready for the marriage, with Butch Reed not being sure how Teddy got a woman like Kristal. And how is she in various situations? That’s too far for Teddy, because his grandson and the reverend are here too. Actually it’s not that bad, because the reverend would like to know too. Teddy says he is going to make Kristal holla, holla holla.

Here is Rey Mysterio for a chat in the ring with Michael Cole. Rey says he’s glad to be back in the ring with the Smackdown fans and he congratulates Batista on winning the World Title. We see a recap of the Rey vs. Chavo Guerrero feud but John Bradshaw Layfield gets up to yell at Cole and Rey.

JBL doesn’t want Rey to be asked a bunch of lame questions like this while he pays homage to the 619. Rey brings up that he ended JBL’s career and is ready to fight right now. That seems to work for JBL but he can’t do that with his broadcasting contract. He does know someone who loves to fight though, so here is Finlay. A cheap shot leaves Rey laying and Finlay leaves as JBL returns to commentary.

Raw Rebound.

Maria is still hanging out with the Ying Yang Twins when Jimmy Wang Yang comes in and seems to know who they are. Carlito comes in but before he can say anything, Chuck Palumbo comes in to rev his engine, which Maria seems to like.

The Diva Search girls play beach volleyball for a long time. Naomi is the first girl cut, even though they haven’t actually been in the arena yet. Next time: limbo.

The bridal party meets Jagged Edge, who will be performing at the wedding. Autographs are given out and we get a preview of the song, with Kristal getting chills.

Mark Henry vs. Batista

Non-title. Henry powers him into the corner to start but Batista is back with a running clothesline. Back up and Henry sends Batista into the corner again and this time it’s a running splash to put Batista down. We hit the chinlock with a nerve hold, which is at least a slight twist on the norm. Batista fights up and hits a middle rope shoulder, setting up the spinebuster….and here is Great Khali. Batista goes after him but stops to spear Henry on the floor, drawing the double countout.

Rating: C-. This was about as good of a match as they were going to be able to have given the situation, as you don’t want Henry to lose again and Batista can’t be losing as the new champion. Khali interfering makes sense too and now we get to set up their singles title match, even in the wacky Punjabi Prison. They didn’t have time to get too bad here either, and that’s about as smart of an idea as they could have had.

Post match Khali beats up Batista without much trouble.

Undertaker is still back next week.

It’s time for the wedding, with the reverend (Bruce Bruce) and a bunch of guests, including Vince McMahon, in attendance. With all of the wrestling guests sitting down, Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring with a chair and a phone book to sit on. Post match, Teddy Long comes to the ring and the bridesmaids/groomsmen come out as well. Kristal comes out and, after falling on the steps, gets in the ring for the ceremony.

Jagged Edge comes out to perform a song, which everyone seems to enjoy (including a bunch of hands waving, though Vince just bobs back and forth). Hold on though as here is Jillian Hall for a song of her own, which goes on despite everyone’s protests. Eventually some women pick her up and carry her out (Reverend: “Praise Jesus.”) but hold on again as Hornswoggle starts beating up Coach.

With that under control, the reverend is ready for the vows but here is the Godfather, with his ladies, to interrupt. Godfather offers Teddy one more good time on the Train but Teddy is happy here. Ron Simmons pops in with an annoyed version of the catchphrase before Godfather leaves….with JBL joining him in a funny bit. Then all of the guests go too, which raises a few questions.

Teddy says his vows and Kristal is about to do the same but Hornswoggle runs into the ring. Coach and Vince chase him to the back, leaving Kristal to say I Do. Teddy is about to do the same…and falls over holding his heart. Everyone panics as medics come in to give Teddy oxygen to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty meh show overall, as the big ending is only so interesting. I remember watching this live and not being overly impressed or interested in where it was going. It probably means Vickie Guerrero takes over, which should make for the latest lame boss. Other than that, we get a few more weeks of build towards the Unforgiven rematches, meaning more Batista vs. Khali. Lucky us.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999 (2012 Redo): So Long Steve

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,735
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a BIG show (pun intended) as a lot of stuff happens here. We’ve got a hall of famer debuting, a new world champion, and Austin getting run over by a car, putting him out of action for about a year. Everyone remembers it for the ending and the car stuff, so maybe there’s other good stuff in here too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the world title match tonight which they promoted knowing that it wasn’t going to happen. Stay classy WWF.

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Godfather, D’Lo Brown, Headbangers

Dudley Boys, Acolytes

The Dudleys are brand new, having been around maybe a month or two. This is the debut of Brown as Godfather’s partner in pimping. The Headbangers are dressed as pimps as well which is pretty funny. Bubba still has a bad stutter here which was his whole gimmick for a few months. Godfather makes fun of him to even further tick the Dudleys off. The Acolytes are freshly out of the Corporate Ministry which has broken up and are just big tough guys now.

Bubba vs. Mosh (in afro) start things off. Bubba steals said afro but things speed up and the Dudleys are in trouble. A HARD clothesline takes Mosh down and it’s off to D-Von. The Dudleys were awesome at this point and were like nothing anyone had seen in years. Even their look was totally different and it worked very well. Off to Thrasher who has an afro held on with a chinstrap.

Bradshaw comes in and pounds away on Thrasher a bit before pounding him upside the head. Thrasher misses a corner charge and the Clothesline eliminates him quickly. Off to Mosh vs. Farrooq with the latter missing a charge in the corner but not being affected by it that badly. Back to D-Von as Jerry talks about wanting ho’s for Christmas. Mosh hits the running crotch attack to D-Von’s back but it’s off to Bubba via a blind tag and the 3D puts out Mosh, making it 4-2.

Brown comes in with a forearm to the head of Bubba and a legdrop for two. For absolutely no apparent reason, Bradshaw blasts Brown with the chair for a DQ, and does the same to Bubba as well, knocking him out cold. D-Von and Farrooq both want the pin and get in a fight over it, resulting in a double countout for a double elimination despite neither of them being legal. That would be the Dudleys’ first real feud.

Back in the ring Bubba gets two on Brown as it’s apparently 2-1 now. A suplex gets two for Bubba and it’s time for the bouncing punches from Ray. Brown comes back with a Sky High for two and loads up a top rope rana, only to get caught in a middle rope sitout powerbomb for two which looked awesome. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s hot tag to Godfather. The Ho Train sets up the Low Down for the final elimination.

Rating: C. I remember reading someone say that Godfather was the perfect opening act because you were guaranteed a good pop whenever he was out there. The more I see of him in matches like this, the more I agree with that statement. The guy wasn’t that great or anything, but the fans loved him and he was always a fun character that you didn’t have to take too seriously. That kind of fun character is a great choice for an opener and this was a fine opener here too.

Remember that future hall of famer debuting tonight? We get a video telling us how awesome his name is and how awesome his life has been so far. His name: Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak is most famous for being an idiot in the Alliance and being the son of the most forgotten world champion ever in Stan Stasiak. Never heard of him? I think that proves my point. Angle has the Patriot’s old music which would become far more famous with its new owner. Angle immediately hits a fireman’s carry takeover and the boring chants start about fifteen seconds in.

They head to the mat with Angle hooking a hammerlock. The fans chant for the Redwings because someone actually wrestling in a wrestling match is an evil idea to fans in 1999. Stasiak comes back with a clothesline and a vertical suplex for two. Off to a chinlock which Kurt escapes pretty quickly. Angle comes back with a clothesline and goes to get the mic. He demands not to be booed because he’s the best in the world.

Back in and Kurt hits something like a dropkick but is put right back into the chinlock. The hold is broken again and Angle comes back with a powerslam for two. Stasiak hits a lay out F5 but misses a top rope cross body. The Olympic Slam gets the pin and starts the hottest rookie year ever in wrestling.

Rating: D+. For a debut, this wasn’t great. However, this would be the start of one of one of the best careers of all time. Angle being serious wasn’t the right choice for him and it wasn’t until he became a total goof that took himself WAY too seriously while being stupid at the same time that he became the awesome Kurt that we know and love. It helped that he could go with anyone in the ring too.

We get a clip from earlier on Heat where HHH called Austin and Rock to the ring in an attempted ambush but the combined forces of Road Dogg and X-Pac didn’t stop two of the biggest stars ever. He wasn’t quite the Cerebral Assassin yet.

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel, Steve Blackman

British Bulldog, Mean Street Posse

Even JR says that Val’s team has nothing in common at all. The Posse is a group of three guys from Greenwich, Connecticut who wear sweater vests and never won a match that wasn’t a hardcore match that they won by mistake. I have no idea why this match exists but my guess is “we have no idea what else to do with these fifteen minutes.” Bulldog is European Champion here which is likely a title Val wants.

The captains start things off and after some quick offense from both, it’s off to Pete Gas (the Posse was Rodney, Pete Gas and Joey Abs). Pete is scared to death of having to actually wrestle so it’s back to Bulldog. Once Venis is down it’s off to Pete who hits a slingshot to send Val chest first into the buckle. A belly to back suplex gets two for Pete as Jerry asks where JR would get nice clothes in Oklahoma. JR: “Arkansas.” Off to Blackman for the only thing he could do: martial arts. A bicycle kick gets the quick elimination for Blackman.

Off to Rodney who has even less luck against Blackman, immediately getting taken down. Gangrel comes in who gets caught in a crucifix for two before Gangrel realizes he’s fighting Rodney. He pounds on the Posse dude, shrugs off a cheap shot from Joey, and plants Rodney with the implant DDT (Edgecution) for the elimination. Joey, by far the best of the three Posse members, comes in and gets to face Mark Henry. Joey actually hits a hot shot on Henry but crotches himself on the middle rope. Mark does about what you would expect him to and splashes him for the pin.

So it’s 4-1 now and Bulldog comes in to fight Henry. Mark runs Bulldog over with ease and it’s off to Gangrel. Gangrel goes up top and is immediately crotched and superplexed down to make it 3-1. Blackman is in next but he misses a middle rope headbutt. He argues with the referee and gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex to make it Henry/Val vs. Bulldog. Val gets to start but it’s quickly a double team. Jerry: “Hey what’s this?” JR: “Well it looks like Mark Henry and Val Venis double teaming the Bulldog King.” Val gets sent to the floor but Henry splashes Bulldog, allowing Val to come in off the top with the Money Shot for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was as worthless as it was advertised. The Posse is one of those groups that is funny in retrospect but at the time they were wasting PPV time when there had to have been better options for this spot. Venis would have been a bigger deal a year ago so I’m not quite sure why he was in this spot either. Little trivia note: this is the shortest four on four Survivor Series match ever, breaking the record set about 20 minutes ago.

Michael Cole walks in on the Divas locker room and has to rub oil on Ivory’s stomach. Next.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline

Thank goodness this isn’t an elimination match. For some reason Moolah and Mae were wrestling in 99 with Moolah even winning the Women’s Title at one point. Jerry’s face when Debra comes out is hilarious. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point. Moolah jumps the champion in the aisle to start but gets shoved down for her efforts. We officially start with Tori vs. Jackie but Luna comes in for some double teaming.

Keep in mind that Tori is a wrestler in name only, Mae and Moolah combined to be over 150 years old, and Terri and Debra are there as eye candy. After less than two minutes, a double clothesline from the old chicks gives Moolah the pin on Ivory. This may have been the worst idea this side of the birth of a hand. This is what Raw is for people.

Moolah and Ivory “brawl” post match.

X-Pac lists off everything wrong with Kane and says he’ll win tonight. Short and simple here.

X-Pac vs. Kane

Pac turned on Kane when they were partners, starting a feud that went on for MONTHS. X-Pac eventually stole Kane’s girlfriend Tori as well, turning her into a smoking hot slut instead of a smoking hot bad wrestler. Earlier today, Tori and Kane said they don’t take what X-Pac has done personally. Kane has the awesome inverted tights colors tonight. Pac jumps Kane during the entrance and we start fast.

Kane no sells all of the shots to his head. I’ve always wondered if the mask is supposed to absorb the offense from the other guy. Kane chokes away and uppercuts Pac down for no cover. Kane goes up but Pac dropkicks him in the head on the way up in a nice counter. We head to the floor for a bit where Pac sends him into the post to take over. Kane comes back with an uppercut but gets kicked in the head to take him back down.

More kicking slows Kane down but the Bronco Buster is countered by a hand around the throat. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Pac down and there’s the top rope clothesline. There’s the chokeslam but Road Dogg comes in to break up the pin. Kane stalks the Dogg to the floor but walks into the X-Factor for two. The tombstone is loaded up but HHH comes in with the world title shot to the head to draw the DQ.

Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than most matches that X-Pac had going on at this time. The problem was that Pac would win all of his matches against monsters and it would get more and more unrealistic every time. Here though Kane took a lot of offense from Pac but it didn’t really hurt him, which is what made this much better. The feud would go on WAY too long though.

Post match Kane gets beaten down until Tori comes out. Pac kicks Tori in the face and Kane snaps, sending DX “scattering like quail” according to JR.

The Rock says nothing because HHH shows up and they brawl.

Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert

This was supposed to be Big Show and Kaientai and Blue Meanie but Show beat them up so he could do this himself. This is during Boss Man vs. Big Show, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Big Visc. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.

Austin is in the back but HHH comes up to attack him too. HHH runs away with Austin chasing after him. Austin winds up in a parking garage and is run over by a car which speeds away. This was the way that Austin was written off TV for the better part of a year to have major neck surgery. He had needed it forever but it wasn’t until now when the company could afford to let him off for that long.

The question would eventually be who ran him over, and it would eventually be revealed as Rikishi in one of the biggest WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moments ever. Test, Stephanie, Vince and eventually HHH show up to look at Austin with most of them being concerned. JR goes to see him as well. Vince accuses HHH and DX but they deny any involvement.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho has only been around a few months and is challenging here. Chyna has Miss Kitty here who isn’t even hiding that she’s T&A here, coming out in a bikini and that’s it. Oh and boots. It’s a brawl to start and Kitty is shoved down because Jericho is a jerk. They head to the floor with Jericho’s knees going into the steps, but Chyna misses a dive off said steps to give the Canadian control.

Back in and Jericho gets hot shotted onto the ropes and put in the Tree of Woe. Chyna tries a German but Jericho kicks her low….with no effect because Chyna isn’t a guy. A standing rana takes Jericho down but he pops back up and clotheslines her to the floor. The springboard dive takes Chyna out again as JR talks about not being into the match due to what happened to Austin. For once this is an acceptable statement.

Jericho throws Chyna over the announce table and pours water over her head because Jericho is a jerk. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Jericho as does a small package for Chyna. Chyna tries to make a comeback but Jericho bulldogs him down for two and a BIG face pop. A spinwheel kick puts Chyna down and Jericho is swaggering. A clothesline puts Chyna on the floor and Kitty gets kissed.

Chyna comes back with a spear and posts Jericho as the crowd noticeably gets quieter. Back in and Jericho hits a layout powerbomb for two and Jericho is getting frustrated. Lionsault misses and Chyna hits the springboard elbow and a DDT for two. With about two minutes left, Lawler mentions a stipulation that Jericho will get a sex change if he loses. Keep those priorities straight guys.

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the submission being broken. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took a bit to get going but they hit a groove in that ending sequence. The most important thing here though was Jericho wrestled her like any other opponent rather than making a spectacle out of her being a woman. These two would stay at it for awhile until Chyna went nuts and eventually started wrestling women, which was the downfall of her career. Well that and being nuts and HHH breaking up with her, but that’s another story.

HHH comes in to see Shane, Stephanie and Test. He still denies having anything to do with it but wants to know if the match is now one on one. Shane says he’ll think of something. Note that Test is there with Shane.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, The Hollys

Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

This is just after the Hardys and the Canadians had the first tag team ladder match which would launch them into stardom soon after. Too Cool is still stupid here, as opposed to later on when they would be stupid and WAY over. The Hardys have Terri with them which wouldn’t last long. Edge and Scotty get things started as Jerry talks about Scotty’s pants. They chop it out in the corner before things speed up a bit and Edge spinwheel kicks him down.

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to hits a big dive to take out everyone that was already on the floor with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Crash Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

We’re promised an update on Austin at the end of this match because THIS MATCH of all things is more important than a guy being hit by a car. Off to Grandmaster whose bulldog is countered and he goes flying so far that he kicks the camera, giving us a cool visual. Off to Hardcore vs. Edge who starts spearing a lot of people. Grandmaster stops to dance and is immediately speared down. In the big melee, Hardcore rolls up Edge for the pin. Fifteen seconds later, Scotty hits a top rope DDT to eliminate Matt, making it 4-2.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match which gets two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

So it’s Crash/Grandmaster/Hardcore Holly vs. Jeff and Christian. JR goes on a rant about Austin as Christian and Jeff try some Poetry in Motion, but Hardcore comes off the top with a missile dropkick in a SWEET looking counter. Grandmaster adds a guillotine legdrop for the elimination. Christian immediately hits a reverse DDT on Grandmaster to get us down to Christian vs. the Hollys.

JR continues to brood and want an update about Austin. Jerry needling him makes me chuckle as he’s awesome at being a jerk. Crash beats on Christian for a bit before it’s off to Hardcore again. Back to Crash who gets caught in the Unprettier/Killswitch for the pin. Christian tries a victory roll on Hardcore but Bob (Hardcore for you schmucks out there) falls on top for the final pin.

Rating: C+. The problem here was that the pairing that this should have been based around, Edge and Christian and the Hardys, were on the same team rather than getting to tear the house down against each other. The other two teams didn’t mean anything and the ending of this sucked. Once the Dudleys got involved with the brother teams, it was all gravy for almost two years.

Shane says that Vince is at the emergency room with Austin. Austin never lost consciousness but is still undergoing tests. Shane says there will be a triple threat tonight, but Austin won’t be in it. Test is there once again.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

The Outlaws are defending. Jerry accuses Billy of being the driver but Lawler doesn’t care at all. Mankind says Austin will get through this. Gunn and Mankind get things going with Billy getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit a sleeper like a minute in and then we look at the Head. JR and Jerry are arguing again as the guys in the ring go to th efloor, making them guys no longer in the ring.

Roadie accidentally hits Billy in the face and it’s off to Snow vs. Road Dogg. JR talks about Snow having his action figure pulled off the shelves at Wal-Mart because some stupid professor said that having a severed head included in a toy would send the wrong message to her kids about violence to women. This is going to be a quick sidebar.

First and foremost, it’s not a severed head. It’s a mannequin head and simply LOOKING AT THE FREAKING THING would tell you that. Second, if you’re concerned about what kind of impression a toy would give to your kids, either A, don’t buy it for them, or B, TELL THEM WHY YOU DON’T LIKE IT. Heaven forbid you have to tell your kid he can’t have something he wants because you deem it inappropriate. Third, and this is the part that I like best, Snow mentioned in a promo that clearly the stores care about their customers because they pulled the figure from the shelves, but the guns, bullets and knives are still on the shelves.

Anyway, now that the stupid people who can’t think before they run their mouths and have to decide how people should live their lives because apparently people aren’t smart enough to make decisions for themselves are out of the way, let’s get back to this dull match. Mankind pounds on Roadie in the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Snow pokes Road Dogg with a chair in the ribs which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Neither is the shot to Road Dogg’s back from Mankind.

Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock back in the ring followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

Snow gets beaten on for awhile before clotheslining Roadie down and it’s not hot tag to Mankind. Mankind pounds away for a bit but gets caught by the Fameasser for two. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Road Dogg and here’s Socko. Both Outlaws get Clawed but they both hit Mankind low to escape. Snow hits Billy with Head to give Mankind a two count, followed quickly by the Outlaws hitting a spike piledriver on Mankind to retain.

Rating: D. This got better at the end but the twelve minutes before that were way too dull to be considered good at all. Mankind and Snow were there to fill in spots and while that’s ok, it doesn’t make for an interesting match. It didn’t help that the crowd was deader than Billy Gunn’s career for most of the match. Nothing to see here.

Since Vince is at the hospital, he won’t be refereeing the main event tonight.

We see Austin get run down again.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. ???

The third man is…..shockingly not Test but rather the Big Show. I mentioned Test over and over again tonight because every sign on the planet pointed to him being the guy but they went with Show instead. That’s not to say this is a horrible idea or that it doesn’t make sense because there were no clues or anything beforehand, but it was certainly a surprising pick.

Rock and HHH attack Show to start but to no avail. Show shoulder blocks them down but Rock breaks up a chokeslam on the Game. HHH is defending if that’s not clear. Rock and HHH team up to clothesline Show to the floor but Rock is quickly pulled to the floor. All three guys wind up on the floor with HHH getting dropped on the barricade. Back in and Show misses a splash in the corner and gets caught in a Russian legsweep for no cover.

The People’s Elbow gets one on Show as HHH saves. This is one fall to a finish in case you were wondering. HHH chokes Rock in the corner but Show gets back up and side slams Rock for two. Show kicks HHH to the floor and knocks the Game up the aisle. The fans don’t seem to be sure what to think of Show in this spot but they’re not bored. Rock charges up the aisle to clothesline Show down before going after HHH again.

HHH gets knocked through a production table and Rock is in control. Scratch that theory as Show comes in and beats the tar out of HHH, only to have Rock hit Show with a fire extinguisher. Rock and HHH start heading back to the ring but HHH suplexes him in the aisle. Show is back because the guy can’t be kept down. Show drops HHH on the announce table but Rock drills Show in the head with the bell. Rock and HHH hit a double suplex on Show through the table for the WHOA spot of the match.

Rock and HHH head into the crowd to brawl as this has been a wild fight for the majority of the match so far. Back to the ring and the referee gets clotheslined down by Rock by mistake. The Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered, the latter being countered into a catapult into the buckle. There’s the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane runs out in a referee’s shirt to count two.

Another Rock Bottom hits but Show pulls Shane out of the ring. Rock goes after Show on the floor which goes about as well as you would expect. Actually scratch that as you might expect Rock to beat Show up. Show puts him on the table and goes back into the ring to knock HHH down before going back to beat on Rock some more. Rock gets thrown into the steps and HHH has the belt, only for Shane to take it away. HHH Pedigrees Shane and they’re all back inside again. Here’s DX to go after Big Show and Rock but here’s Vince as well. He knocks HHH out with the belt and a chokeslam makes Show champion.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work that well for me at all. Show has no connection to the feud at all which hurts things a bit, but at the end of the day there was no real flow to the match at all. Show winning is a good pick as it gives some closure to the week for him where his dad died and all that, but his title reign wouldn’t work all that well due to him mainly feuding with Big Boss Man. Still though, decent moment but a bad match.

Show celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a very back and forth show as the stuff that was interesting was interesting (although not necessarily good) and the stuff that was bad and dull was VERY bad and dull. This show is much more about setting things up for the future, which is ok, but it doesn’t really do much for those of us watching this. Not really recommended, but there are some far worse shows out there.

Ratings Comparison

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Original: B-

Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Team Mae Young vs. Team Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Team Big Boss Man

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Original: B

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: D

Big Show vs. HHH vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked most of the matches better the first time and the overall rating was higher. Simple and easy, as usual.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/08/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1999-a-lot-happens-here/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999 (Original): We Need Someone New

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,375
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now this is a show where a year really does make a difference. There’s two major issues with this show. Number one, Kurt Angle is debuting here. He’s been talked about for months and tonight he’s fighting Shawn Stasiak. If we had vbookie back then, that match might set a record for biggest amount of money ever won on a single match. Also, this is the last PPV Austin was on for nearly a year, as he FINALLY took time off to have his neck fixed.

The problem simply was that his neck was destroyed by then and the surgery only helped to a certain extent. Had he had this done two years ago when he should have, he might still be wrestling today. Granted it likely would have been for WCW as Vince would have been out of business without Austin, but that’s whatever. The main event here was supposed to be the showdown we all had been waiting for with HHH vs. Rock vs. Austin for the title, but obviously that couldn’t happen.

HHH is champion here, having won it the night after Summerslam from Foley. A lot of the now familiar faces are here now, such as Angle, the Dudleyz, Chris Jericho and Chyna. The Radicalz would debut in January, more or less crippling WCW once and for all (for those that don’t know, the Radicalz were Perry Saturn, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero, four of the young studs in WCW that were fed up with never being given a chance in WCW and finally saying screw this and leaving as a unit). Anyway, the card looks fairly good, so let’s do it.

Naturally the intro is about the triple threat that would never come. I’m not sure if I like Vince doing this big of a buildup when he knew that Austin wouldn’t be in it. That’s not quite as bad as Jake and Savage from 91 because 2/3 were in the match, but it’s something you would kind of give a look at. Vince was guest referee for it also. After a very short discussion from Lawler and Ross, we’re ready to go.

Godfather/D’lo/Headbangers vs. Dudleyz/Acolytes

Dang that’s a heck of a heel team. This was when the Dudleyz had just debuted and therefore they were the biggest tag team in the world because the 3D was unlike any move that anyone had seen in forever. At this point Godfather for some reason is one of the most over guys on the roster, which no one will ever get. He has the hos with him and makes his weed references which would NEVER be safe today. Brown is dressed like him too. Oh my stars and garter belts.

Of course the Headbangers are dressed the same way. Oh just take me now. They get ZERO reaction, thank goodness. This was still when Bubba was a stutterer with a big southern accent and D-Von wore overalls, so it’s the best they’ve ever been. Bubba is incredibly funny asking the Godfather for the hoes instead of a match. Godfather is incredibly stupid sounding telling him no. I don’t remember that Acolytes music.

The APA gimmick was coming soon, but not quite here yet. We start with Mosh against Bubba, which spells the whole match in a nutshell. Apparently Mosh has an amateur background. Did that blow anyone else’s mind but me? You can clearly see fans leaving the arena to get popcorn or beer or something, so you can tell how good this match is. After a Clothesline From JBL, Thrasher is gone and it’s 4-3.

Who would have thought that in five years Bradshaw would be world champion? Immediately after Bradshaw turns around Mosh hits a top rope cross body which gets a two. What, did you actually think that was going to work? Teddy Long is a referee here. That’s just humorous. If nothing else, Mosh is trying. He’s not very good, but he’s trying at least. I’ll give him credit for that.

Not everyone can have a 5 star classic, but I’ll give big credit to people that are working hard out there trying to do something, and that’s what Mosh was doing. I say was doing because the 3D makes it 4-2. That leaves us with D’lo and Godfather against four guys. Brown does something very simple but also very smart. He hits that legdrop he does and covers Bubba, but he looks straight at his opponents’ corner. That’s very intelligent when you think about it.

If you’re trying to sell this match, then you want to cover the intelligence factors of it. By making sure that he’s not going to get jumped, D’lo is doing that. It’s a tiny thing but it makes a big difference. Now let’s get to the stupid stuff because you know it’s coming. Bradshaw pops Brown and Bubba with some SICK chair shots to be DQed. Farrooq and D-Von now fight over who should get the pin.

In the stupidest part of this, D-Von covers him and Farrooq drops a leg on him. He looks at D-Von who is up and then covers as well. Yeah that’s going to go well. They brawl to the back and are apparently counted out, which just like in 1994, DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. Neither guy is legal, so it’s exactly the same thing as standing on the apron. That’s just stupid, but anyway it’s 2-1 now. I’ve always loved Bubba’s side slam. It just looks sweet all around.

Bubba is completely destroying him here, but Brown escapes long enough to tag in…and I hate having to say this…the former Intercontinental Champion, who dominates for a bit before hitting the crappy splash in the corner to set up the Low Down for the pin. I really hate these guys. Make that I hate Godfather. At least Brown had some cool moves. Only here in this time frame would this be the intelligent booking to go with. The ho dance takes us to the next segment.

Rating: B-. The booking makes ZERO sense from modern perspective, and there really was no point to the Headbangers being there. They split up soon enough anyway. Godfather was for some reason considered a somewhat big deal for reasons that mere mortals like myself can’t comprehend. The Dudleyz would soon be where they belonged, but here they were rookies to the company. It was an ok match with everyone working hard, so I’ll take it I guess as a decent opener.

We get a video package on Kurt Angle. This is pure greatness as he is this arrogant jerk but he acts like the all American boy. It’s just awesome. His resume really is awesome when you think about it. I’m so used to seeing him bald that it’s weird seeing him with a full head of hair. Also, this was back when Angle had that pleasant little thing called sanity.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kurt Angle

Let the jobbing begin. I have never heard more generic music in my life. Apparently his big claim to fame is being the son of a transitional world champion. Oh dear. Angle’s introduction is all impressive and a listing of his accomplishments which is just comical. He’s so clean cut that it’s great considering what he was going to become. Angle had a great advantage to him just as all other “real” wrestlers have.

They need less seasoning and training because they have the amateur background to fall back on. He can learn as he goes but can just go out there and do basic suplexes and holds etc. while not really having learned a lot. It can be called adjusting to the new style, which is actually true. They describe Stasiak as no slouch, and you know what that means. They go onto the mat, and in something that shocks me, Stasiak keeps up with him. That’s very surprising.

Angle hits a textbook overhead belly to belly and gets NOTHING. The fans are chanting for the Redwings because they’re idiots. This is proof of everything that’s wrong with the Attitude Era. Angle and Stasiak just did a very fast paced and crisp mat sequence and then went into a standard wrestling sequence with Angle playing to the crowd very well. However because no referee got bumped and no cursing was done and no weapons were used, the fans hate it. That to me is hogwash.

I was impressed by what I just saw, but apparently it’s boring. And that my friends is why the Attitude Era sucked. It was about drama and not wrestling. That’s just awful all around. Angle and Benoit and Jericho saved the sport more than anyone else because they got in there and just put on classic after classic after classic and it got the fans more interested in the athleticism they were seeing.

Angle has a great look to him with the red white and blue being the most basic outfit you can have and it simply doesn’t fail. Oh he also came out to what used to be Patriot’s music that is now known as his. The fans are DEAD other than a boring chant. In the middle of the match, Angle hits the floor and cuts a promo about how you don’t boo an Olympic gold medalist because he’s the best in the world.

That’s simple but effective. JR brings up a point that’s been argued many times over on these forums: the fans paid their money and can cheer or boo for whomever they want. At the risk of starting a page long debate, I’ll go with I agree with him. People love and cheer for Darth Vader. That doesn’t mean he’s a horrible character. Anyway, Stasiak whispers spots to Angle while in a chinlock.

Angle has a SWEET counter to what I think was a scoop slam from when he came off the ropes as he spins around completely and lands on his feet. It’s hard to describe but it looked awesome. Stasiak could have been decent if pushed right. That’s the big issue: he was just boring. He hits what we would call a slightly modified F5 with the only difference being he throws his body backwards and lands on his stomach instead of next to next to Angle on his back.

It worked fairly well for him though. This is his PPV debut as well apparently. He hits the rotating belly to back suplex for the pin. He gets booed and just doesn’t understand it which is a great character to say the least.

Rating: C+. For a future superstar making his debut, this was ok, but it needed to be maybe a minute shorter. Stasiak being on offense for the most part makes sense here, as he’s more experienced so it makes sense that Angle takes a bit to adjust to him. Also, it makes sense that he carries the match since Angle is a rookie. This was fine, but the fans disappoint me with how jaded they are.

We get a clip from Heat where HHH tried to get Austin and Rock beaten up which failed completely.

Val Venis/Gangrel/Mark Henry/Steve Blackman vs. British Bulldog/Mean Street Posse

Other than Blackman, the first team might as well be called Team Porn. You have Val, Henry was Sexual Chocolate, and Gangrel directed porn movies. Blackman…eh he’s there. The Posse was a group of Shane’s friends that won I think a combined four matches in the company. Venis is the embodiment of everything that was wrong with the Attitude Era, and he’s one of the most remembered stars of it.

Despite how over the top his character was, he really was a solid wrestler and there are rumors he was the official test run for new wrestlers. Allegedly, Vince would have Venis wrestle new guys to see if they had anything. A lot of jobs could have been won or lost based on his recommendations. Granted that’s just a rumor so it very well could be false, but it makes sense when you think about it. I have no clue what the point of this match is, but whatever.

My best guess would be to get Val more over. Ross says that they have nothing in common, so at least it’s not something I’m missing. Henry is the Hershey Bar of Love at this point. Gangrel, despite being completely and utterly awful at anything wrestling related, does have one of the sweetest entrances of all time. I’m still not sure if I like Blackman or not. I used to hate him but the more I see of him the more I think I like him.

For no apparent reason after the faces come out we see a graphic for the match which JR sums up quite well: “There’s your match.” Bulldog was gone in about 6 months after this. He’s European Champion at this point. The Posse is comprised of Pete Gas, Joey Abs and Rodney. They’re as generic as their names imply. We start with the two most talented guys in the match, Bulldog and Venis. Actually they might be the only two talented guys in the match.

Since it’s the Survivor Series, we get a Montreal reference. Lawler of course asks for details. That delayed suplex is just a thing of beauty. That’s real strength. Pete comes in and naturally gets his head handed to him. He gets some decent stuff in to be fair, but the gimmick was just never going to work in the end. Blackman comes in and ends Pete with a bicycle kick. That was short and sweet I guess.

Ross simply does not like the Posse. “He looks like he went to a barber college and went to the guys with bad grades.” Where in the world does he come up with these things? Oh dear it’s Rodney vs. Gangrel. This could set wrestling back 100 years. It only sets it back 50 or so as Joey misses a shot to Rodney and Gangrel hits the Impaler to end him. Edge really needs to go back to that. It just looks awesome on so many levels.

It’s 4-2 for those of you that are wondering. Joey is in now, and he’s by far the most talented of these guys as he had some wrestling experience before coming to the WWF. Joey actually picks up Mark Henry to drape him over the top rope. That wasn’t bad. Joey is gone soon after though due to a massive splash. As I’ve said on so many occasions: if you use a splash that’s not from the top rope as a finisher, you likely suck.

Henry catches Bulldog coming off the ropes in a press slam, but doesn’t get him all the way up and kind of throws him. Not only did that look bad, but it was fairly dangerous. Henry probably expected a raise for it. Bulldog is up holding his shoulder so apparently I might be right. He catches the incredibly agile Gangrel on the top and suplexes him down for the pin. We get a Cleveland Indians reference, which Lawler quickly corrects.

In one of the DUMBEST refereeing moves I’ve ever seen, Bulldog hits a PerfectPlex on Blackman for the pin. That’s fine on paper, but Blackman’s arm is AT LEAST 6 inches off the mat and right in front of the referee. Ok, I can understand missing something minor but that was just horrendous. My mouth actually opened at the sight of that. After that horribleness, we’re back to Val and Bulldog. The faces double team him as Lawler asks what they’re doing.

Ross’ response: it looks like Val and Mark Henry are double teaming the Bulldog. Just a guess.” That was funny. Dang I just thought JR was funny. I need more sleep. Val hooks a small package, which there has to be a joke about somewhere. Naturally JR becomes a jerk a few seconds later so I knew it wasn’t going to last. Both guys hit splashes on him to end this. The sex jokes start up as I wince at them.

Rating: D+. This was a big step down from the earlier match. It just seemed pointless as even Ross said there was nothing in common between the faces. I fail to see the point in this match, but it’s the late 90s so that’s likely the point. Val and Bulldog were the only decent wrestlers out there, so yep, we have an Attitude Era match. This just wasn’t really needed.

Michael Cole more or less barges into the Divas (not called that yet) locker room where Ivory throws herself at him. Naturally, Cole leaves. This was pointless.

Mae/Moolah/Debra/Tori vs. Ivory/Luna/Jackie/Terri

This isn’t Torrie Wilson mind you, but the original psycho fan Tori that was rather hot at times, but set a new record for how bad a women’s wrestler could be. This is one fall, thank goodness. This was two months before the legendarily creepy moment where Mae was topless on PPV somewhere in her 80s. Naturally, Wrestlezone had a link up where you could see the pics. Ok I only looked twice. It’s not that big of a deal.

Yep, Tori looks insanely hot. She’s Kane’s girlfriend at this point. Debra gets a MASSIVE pop. We cut to a shot of Lawler which is cracking me up with how big his eyes are. Lawler’s jokes about Moolah and Mae are quite funny. Ross says Moolah used to have a figure like Miss America. According to Lawler she’s lost a lot of Canada and gained a lot of Mexico. Think about that one for a minute and you’ll get it. I’ve never liked Jackie. She’s just annoying.

Luna is apparently a few sandwiches short of a picnic. All of these girls’ music sounds exactly the same. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point, having both amazingly and pathetically beaten Moolah for the belt a few weeks before this. Moolah and Mae would both be 76 at this point. Yeah it’s pathetic. Why would Vince allow them to wrestle? That’s just stupid. Sadly, they’re the 2nd and 3rd best workers out there regardless of age, and they’re just behind Luna.

Jackie might be better but I hate her so she’s out. Terri is managing the Hardys right now, as they won the Terri Invitational Tournament. It was just them vs. Edge and Christian in a best of seven series culminating in a ladder match, but it did what it was supposed to do. This is a pure T&A match here. Good grief they’re STILL on the introductions. Even money says they’ll go longer than the match. We get the standard warning from JR that this might not be pretty. Please just make it short.

They actually throw Mae through the ropes to the floor. This is just ridiculous. I don’t care if they say they can do this or not. They’re in their 70s and don’t belong anywhere NEAR a freaking ring. Thankfully we move on to Tori vs. Jackie. Reread that and let it sink in. That’s something you may never read again, period. The level of sloppiness in this match hasn’t been invented yet.

Jackie and Luna botch a tag. You read that correctly. They missed a FREAKING TAG. How is that possible? You slap the other person’s hand. It’s really not that complicated. I’ve seen monkeys that can do it. I’ve seen infants that can do it. I’ve even seen mods that can do it, yet they botched it. Tori slows down to duck a double clothesline, and now Moolah (accidentally called Lillian) is back in.

After slamming Ivory (rather impressive actually), they hit what was supposed to be a double clothesline to pin her. They put their hands together and dropped to their knees for it. It’s worse than it sounds. No one gets that it’s over which I think was because they just ended it while it was only embarrassing. Terri gets her top ripped off to end this idiocy. Apparently not as we have a brawl. Just end it, please.

Rating: N/A. To allow two women in their late 70s into a wrestling ring and have them try to compete is completely and utterly appalling. It’s irresponsible and ridiculous to say the least and Vince should be ashamed of himself for it. I’m disgusted by this.

We get an ad for WWF.com. It’s a blind guy walking around and another guy shifts him so that he gets hit by a bus. That…was stupid.

Lillian Garcia, who looks a heck of a lot hotter here if that’s possible, talks to the now heel X-Pac. He says he carried Kane. He sounds drunk.

X-Pac vs. Kane

I’ve always loved X-Pac’s music. We get a quick interview from earlier in the night where Tori talks for Kane. Naturally, Tori references something that X-Pac wouldn’t talk about for about two hours so there we go. Kane is rocking the alternate costume tonight with mostly black and a bit of red. I’ve always liked that one better. The basic story here is X-Pac and Kane were tag champions, they lost two matches and Pac split.

X-Pac had been mainly wrestling giants and it was around this time that he became completely hated. I wonder if there’s a connection there. By jove I think there is! Naturally Kane starts off by dominating but Pac lands a kick to the face to slow him down. Shockingly enough, Tori is blamed for this. Pac hits a sweet kick as they debate Kane’s alleged impotence. Who feeds them these lines?

He goes for the Bronco Buster and gets choked into a backbreaker. When Kane hits that top rope clothesline right, it is an absolute thing of beauty and one of my favorite moves ever. Kane hits the chokeslam and assumes the position to be pulled out and there’s Road Dogg to do so. To do so is fun type. X-Pac hits the X-Factor and Kane uses the power kickout because that move is just garbage of the highest quality. Or would it be lowest quality? Eh whatever.

Kane sets for a tombstone but HHH runs out and hits him with the belt for the DQ. Now that’s the kind of heel stable leader that children can be proud of: one that runs in and nails a guy with a belt to save his teammates. Learn something Orton (assuming Legacy is still together in two months’ time). Lawler says that Kane has always wanted to be the WWF Champion.

I know it was short Jerry, but can you at least remember who has been World Champion and who hasn’t? DX sets him up for the dreaded Bronco Buster because you know, it’s deadly and painful, but Tori runs, or bounces I guess, to the ring. X-Pac kicks the heck out of her, allegedly by accident.

This awakens Kane to kill Pac but he bails. Naturally Tori would leave Kane soon enough to become X-Pac’s girlfriend in about a week despite him kicking her in the face. JR says that DX is scattering like quail. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS JR ON?

Rating: C+. This was barely over four minutes so it’s hard to grade. Kane beat on Pac, so that’s a good sign I suppose. It was a brawl (in the Attitude Era? YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!) for the most part with Kane just beating the living tar out of him for the most part. The run in was pretty stupid, but I guess it was required to keep the feud going. I hate it, but it had to be done I suppose.

They show a replay of the kick, and it’s so far off that Lawler slips up and can’t finish his line of how solid that kick was without a pause. It’s that bad. This is why they need to screen those replays. That was abysmal.

Cole is with Rock as we cue the big pop. Before he can talk though, HHH shows up and the brawl is on.

Send in your cable bill and get a free Rock pendent. Again, this is a good idea that they should bring back. It’s not going to kill them to throw out some Cena wristbands or something like that.

Big Show vs. Prince Albert/Mideon/Viscera/Bossman

Mideon has his face painted which looks very odd. Boss Man and Show were in the middle of an angle where Boss Man was tormenting Show because Show’s father passed away. It would lead to a match on PPV which was horrible. It eventually led to the great line of “Big Show, you’re a bastard and your mama said so!” That’s a great line, period. We see Boss Man reading a sympathy card for Show’s dad and with the deadpan delivery, it’s awesome.

We get another great scene where Boss Man interrupts Show’s father’s funeral (for those that don’t remember, Show was said to be the son of Andre the Giant, so in other words it’s taken 6 and a half years to bury Andre. I love the redoing of storylines.) and tying the casket to a car. Show gave chase and is dragged off on top of the casket. It’s out of a bad comedy movie and cracks me up every time. Boss Man is hardcore champion at this point.

Also, Show was supposed to have Kai En Tai and Blue Meanie as partners, but he beat them up so this would be a handicap match. At least they didn’t really let them do that match as it would have made less sense than the Val/Bulldog team. Naturally, we have a replay of it. Heat used to be awesome. Stuff actually happened on it which never happens anymore. The people pop for Show fairly well, which turns out to be a good thing.

Show also has long hair here, which takes a bit of getting used to. Show knocks down Albert (A-Train) and then spins around looking for someone else to hit in a funny spot. After that, Show hits three chokeslams and the best big man bodyslam I’ve ever seen on Viscera inside of 30 seconds to eliminate three guys not named Big Boss Man, who runs for the count out.

Rating: N/A. I can’t grade a minute and a half match, but Show was AWESOME here. This is how Show should have been booked his entire career as he just ran through three good sized men with absolute ease. He picked up Viscera and slammed him with absolute ease. I mean he looked like he was slamming X-Pac or something. The booking was there, the pops were there, and this was the time to do something with Big Show. Alas, nothing would come of it.

Buy Armageddon. Steve Austin will be there.

Kevin Kelly is with Austin, but before he can talk HHH jumps him. In a funny looking spot he punches Austin and takes a sip of water. That just looked odd. Austin chases him while putting his hat on. Road Dogg and X-Pac are running as well, and Austin is in the parking garage. He looks up, and THAT CAR JUST RAN OVER AUSTIN!

Yes, this is the infamous car angle where Austin was hit by a speeding car in a hit and run that put him on the shelf for nearly a year, paving the way for Rock and HHH to rise up to the top of the company. Note: Rock only got as big as Austin when there was no Austin there. This became the top angle in the company next summer as the hunt was on for who ran him down. This was the height of the Attitude Era and their true life angles.

Vince is seen sprinting to the garage to check on Austin, as do Stephanie, her boyfriend/fiancé Test and eventually HHH. Vince sees HHH and immediately accuses him of being the driver which he denies. Ross has gone to the back as well, so Lawler asks the question that would become the million dollar question for the next year or so: who was driving the car? Like I said, this was the excuse used for Austin to go off and have neck surgery that he desperately needed, albeit back in 1997.

HHH and DX keep saying they had nothing to do with this. This angle was fairly well hidden from the IWC, but they knew that Austin would not be wrestling in the main event that night. Now that brings up another question that I’ll get to when we get to the main event.

Anyway, the main thing here is the angle of who was driving. We would find out in the fall of 2000. I can’t remember who it was, but someone mentions that the driver had blonde hair. Commissioner Mick Foley plays detective and eventually deduces who it was based on something Scotty 2 Hotty says. Scotty said something along the lines of he and Grand Master were with Rikishi partying that night.

Mick uses this information to deduce that it was Rikishi that was driving, based on the fact that Rikishi hadn’t debuted yet. This was an issue for two reasons. Number one, so what if he hadn’t debuted yet? Too Cool can’t have non-wrestling friends? Number two, Rikishi already had debuted on Jakked, which aired the night before Survivor Series. The second one I can excuse, because the show came on at 2am and it wasn’t something everyone got.

Also, it was a year ago and not a lot of people are going to remember a specific Saturday night at 2am a year ago, so that’s ok. The explanation of how Foley knew it was Rikishi never made sense to me, but whatever. He claimed that he did it for the Rock, his cousin, because Rock was being held down by the white man. Yes, that’s what they went with. Austin came back and Rikishi was the number two heel in the company. The story BOMBED.

This happened for about a million reasons. First of all, it made zero sense. Just reread the storyline and tell me how it’s a good idea. Second, all signs pointed to HHH. It made sense for it to be HHH. It should have freaking been HHH. Finally, IT’S FREAKING RIKISHI! What in the heck can Austin do with someone like Rikishi? That became the problem. He was just too fat to do anything with.

After about eight seconds the company figured this out and switched it up so that Rikishi was just working on HHH’s orders. That at least made sense. It led to a short HHH vs. Austin feud, but in the end it was really a short length feud, which I guess was ok as those two have always hated each other. Either way, this blew the doors off the hinges for awhile as it was the hottest story in the sport. I think the main reason it failed was because of Rikishi.

It just made zero sense as he went from being a fat midcard guy that was a comedy character to a criminal mastermind helping his cousin because of race overnight. That just doesn’t work. HHH would have been perfect for the master villain, because it’s totally something he would have done.

It was still ok, but it could have been light years better. They at least tried though and I’ll give them credit for that. I can’t imagine they had Rikishi planned the whole time, as they had about 10 months before they had to explain it.

They really handled this part of the show well as this looked very real. You have to factor in that this was the first time that something like this had been done, so it blew our minds. It wasn’t something like Vince having the set fall on him or something stupid like that. This was a huge deal at the time and it came off perfectly.

And with no transition, let’s keep going.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Chyna is the first ever female IC Champion. Now at the time, this was a HUGE deal. This was one of the biggest angles of the year as I think it even got some mainstream coverage. It really is a big deal when you think of it. Can you imagine today say Mickie James feuding with John Morrison and having a legit chance of beating him?

That’s absurd sounding right? This worked, and was a big deal on so many levels. On top of that, the matches were good. And on top of that, Chyna and Miss Kitty looked hotter than any two humans should be allowed to be. Oh yeah the match.

Jericho is getting bigger and bigger pops every time he comes through the curtain. JR is back and clearly is a good bit shaken up. They go at it immediately and Jericho shoves Kitty down. Jericho was more or less replacing Jarrett in this feud. I think that’s a major upgrade for them. Loud Jericho chant starts up.

Chyna winds up on the floor as this is starting kind of slowly. Jericho hits a dive to take her out as Ross talks about Austin more. I can accept it this time though as it’s a major deal. Lawler tells him to be a professional. That’s rather unfunny. Jericho sends her into the table and the announcers get chivalrous all of a sudden.

Missile dropkick gets two. More Austin talk from Ross as Jericho is dominating. Jericho does the foot on chest cover for two. The fans boo Chyna a bit and pop big for Jericho and they actually reference it on commentary. Lawler says they booed the gold medalists here for Christ’s sake. It’s weird hearing that on commentary in WWE no matter what era.

Clothesline puts Chyna on the floor as impressively this isn’t getting boring. He kisses Kitty which ticks off Jerry a bit. Chyna finally wakes up a bit and takes down Jericho to even more booing. Jericho gets a powerbomb for only two. We reference a boxing match from last night as Vince couldn’t be happier than to be bigger than boxing.

Apparently Jericho has said he’ll get a sex change if he loses. Handspring elbow and DDT get two. Down goes the referee and Jericho pops her with the title which was in the corner ala a WCW belt. Never been a fan of that. That only gets two though as Jericho is stunned.

Pedigree gets two. It’s not everyday he can kick out of that so he better use the opportunity while he has it. The Walls go on and the title is in trouble. She gets close to the ropes but is dragged back into the middle before crawling back and getting them the second time. They fight to the corner and Chyna gets a Pedigree off the middle rope for the pin. Dude, did Punk copy Chyna?

Rating: B. Now that’s more like it! That right there is the biggest reason why the feud worked: the matches were good. You could see very clearly though that Jericho would have to turn face soon though as his pops were just off the charts. It makes me feel better to know that at the end of the day, no matter how many stupid angles or whatever is going on, the crowd will react best to solid wrestling, and that’s what they got here.

At no time during this match did Chyna’s gender make it seem like she was weaker, not once. That’s a big vote of confidence in Chyna as well. Not only was she given the Intercontinental Title, but she had a decent run with it. I think she held it three times, and she defended it on PPV. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Vince has a huge midcard and he picked her to be the champion of it. That’s saying a lot. Solid match.

Test, Shane and Stephanie are in the locker room and DX comes in. Once again they deny doing anything. I think everyone knew that HHH had something to do with it, but we weren’t sure what. HHH asks if it’s a triple threat still and gets thrown out.

Hardy Boys/Edge and Christian vs. Hollies/Too Cool

Holy one sided match Batman! Or at least it should be, but since it’s four wrestlers against four gimmick guys, I’d be willing to bet on how this is going to go. Everyone knew that the more famous teams here were going to be something very special, but no one knew what was coming. Edge and Christian come through the crowd which is just always cool looking. Scotty just looks flat out stupid. Edge of course looks cool.

Ross says he can’t get his mind into the match. That makes sense. Lawler saying that it’s not a big deal is a lot funnier than it sounds. I certainly wouldn’t believe that three of the four would become world champions within ten years, and arguably all four have. That’s impressive. It’s so strange to see these guys being the young studs that steal the show instead of being the names put on the signs that sell tickets to the shows.

Ross keeps talking about Austin, which for once doesn’t bother me. When Schiavone and Heenan would talk about everything but the match all of the time it would drive me insane. Here, it’s at least mainly about the match and then a few moments about Austin. I will never forget a Nitro where the TV Title changed hands and literally, the first mention of the 8 minute match was to say there was a new champion.

Other than that, it was ALL about the main event. That’s just disrespectful. I can understand it when a major thing happens like this, but not for a TV main event. Lawler is just flat out mean here and I’m loving it. He’s talking about Grand Master the whole time, and this is before it’s revealed that it was his son. I think it’s more like the worst kept secret in wrestling at this point, as Lawler is making little jokes here and there about it.

For the second time tonight we lose a cameraman. Edge spears all three heels other than Scotty. I think Too Cool are heels, but I’m not sure. It’s not a heel gimmick if nothing else but whatever. I think the more famous team are supposed to be tweeners at this point.

Edge misses a spear and hits Matt with it instead, leading to him being rammed into by Jeff, which leads to Edge getting rolled up and pinned. Scotty hits a move that I’ve always thought would be cool. He gets on the top rope and dives forward like a front dropkick, but catches Matt’s head on the way down to pull him into a DDT to eliminate him, making it 4-2 all of a sudden. The Worm gets ZERO reaction, as Too Cool are indeed heels here. I thought so.

Yeah the famous guys are faces indeed here. I guess having Terri made me think they were heels. What am I saying? She had boobs so she must have been popular back then since that’s all that mattered. Ross doesn’t know what a hippie is. Oh come on now JR. It’s Oklahoma not Iceland. Ross threatens to give Lawler one finger which causes an audible chuckle from the King.

Ok, I can almost buy that Ross has never heard of hippies. But to imply that he’s never heard of Roy Rogers? Oh I don’t think so. What kind of man that wears a cowboy hat doesn’t know who Roy Rogers is? The Hollies start fighting which allows Jeff to hit a 450 on Scotty for the pin. He hadn’t started using the Swanton yet so that was his big move. I don’t get why he changed it. It’s not like the 450 was bad or something.

Maybe there was an injury along the way or something. Either way, he should have stuck with the 450. If nothing else it looks better. Just to be amusing, Lawler talks about how Ross has no sympathy for his best friend Austin because he keeps talking about the match. That’s just great stuff. When Lawler is on his game there’s no one better on the mic than him.

Christian and Jeff go for Poetry in Motion but Hardcore is waiting on the top rope to nail a dropkick onto Jeff in midair in a sweet looking spot. That was really cool. Grandmaster hits a legdrop from the top onto Jeff’s body to pin him, which should make him a world title contender I suppose. May the wrestling gods perish the thought. As he dances Christian grabs him and hits the reverse DDT to make it 2-1. That was quick.

Christian still doesn’t belong at the top of the food chain though. It’s the Hollies vs. Christian. JR asks King why he’s such a jerk. I’ve always wondered that myself. Tim White tells Crash to get out which makes me chuckle. After a short mini match, Christian pins Crash with the Unprettier, known to you rookies as the Killswitch Engaged.

I wonder why they named it after the band that does CM Punk’s song. Lawler will just not let up on Ross. Holly stops a victory roll to pin Christian about 30 seconds later in a very surprising win in my eyes. Granted that may be hindsight.

Rating: B. This was the spotfest match of the night and it worked very well. Those four guys were the future of the company, but I don’t think people thought it would take as long as it did for that to happen.

Either way, they were the hottest acts in the world and once they were paired with the Dudleys, they went through the roof. As for the match, it was fast paced and full of big spots, but that’s what these guys were best at and it was on display here in a good but not really deep match if that makes sense.

Shane, Test and Stephanie say that Austin didn’t lose consciousness, despite Ross saying he did when he was with him. Shane says there will still be a triple threat match, but it won’t have Austin in it. There’s a short rant/explanation coming on that later.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

What a great tag match before we get to the main event. The Outlaws are just past their height of popularity here, but they’re still way up there. The more I see of Road Dogg the more I like him I think. He’s just great on the mic every time you hear him talk and his in ring work wasn’t bad at all. The speculation of who the third man will be begins as Lawler wants to know who was driver. Lawler thinks it was Billy.

It wasn’t, but that would have made more sense than Rikishi. These arguments sound like something out of South Park. Mankind says that Austin is a tough son of a gun and after the match they’ll be going to check on him, but until then all they’ll be thinking about are the New Age Outlaws. This was around the time also that a Snow action figure was banned from Wal-Mart because one of those stupid parent’s groups decided that Head was a severed woman’s head.

You know because there’s so much blood and everything on it. Wal-Mart pulled it because they didn’t want to hear a bunch of whiny old women complaining and moaning about something else. Snow was thrilled by it for some weird reason. Mankind returned Head to him on Smackdown, which Ross of course describes as “Mankind gave Snow Head on Thursday”, because gay jokes are the funniest thing in the world right?

I mean that’s what commentators are for right? To crack stupid jokes. I really hate this era. Foley’s book had just come out too, which really was a good read. Lawler is in top form here with his insults and needling of Ross. Snow hits a pretty sweet looking jumping Downward Spiral as they discuss the Wal-Mart thing. Apparently they even mentioned it on SNL. That’s not bad.

Snow pops Road Dogg with a special Survivor Series chair. Only in professional wrestling is a souvenir steel chair a perfectly reasonable idea. The fans are really bored with this and I can understand that completely. There’s just nothing going on here. Foley was just about done here, with only the big feud with HHH left to end his career. Billy wrestling with a shirt on just looks odd for some reason.

Ross says that the Outlaws might be the best tag team ever. That’s just freaking stupid, but whatever. The tag tournament will be over by the time this is posted, so there we are. They blame Snow’s ineptness on the Wal-Mart thing instead of the fact that he just wasn’t that good at this point in his career. Billy gets the Fameasser which gets two.

Mankind gets up and hits the double arm DDT (called a suplex by JR, continuing his time honored tradition of only the best commentary that has ever been uttered by deities like himself) as Snow hits the Snow Plow, but after hitting both of their finishing moves, there’s no cover because Foley needs to get the sock.

I hate excesses like this. There’s just no point to them at all. To be fair it does get the crowd awake a bit. Billy gets out of it and Snow pops him with Head, but no pin. The Outlaws get a spike piledriver on Foley to end this.

Rating: D+. This was just boring until the end. I mean nothing happened for the most part. It was just random bad offense between four guys that just weren’t into this at all. This certainly shouldn’t have been the second to last match of the night as the fans are just a bit dead. This was nothing of note and the ending was just there.

They tell us the same things we heard earlier about Austin and we see it again. Oh another note that I forgot to mention: allegedly it was Rock’s car that hit him, but Rock said his car was stolen earlier in the night. That makes sense at least.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH vs.???

Rock comes out to bring the fans back to life which should be considered a miracle. Vince isn’t here to be guest referee either so this is screaming for Montreal 3. That big belt really looks awesome on a ton of levels. It’s more or less a given here that whoever the mystery guy is will become the new champion. That’s just how wrestling works. Now, as for the who it would be, every, and I mean every, sign on the face of the planet pointed to this being Test.

Think about it. At the time he had been moving higher and higher up the card, he had been feuding with HHH to a certain extent so the story is there, he was Stephanie’s fiancé (the infamous wedding was two weeks after this), and he was seen with Shane when Shane said it would still be a triple threat. Putting the title on Test for a two week run or maybe even a one day run, as ridiculous as it sounds now, would have made a lot of sense at the time actually.

He was one of the hottest young guys in the company, he was having solid matches, it fit with the storylines and he was very popular. Everything on the planet would have made you believe it would be Test. It’s not Test. It’s the Big Show. I remember seeing this and being confused but excited. Show at the time was young, new and awesome because they booked him right.

They rarely let him be in a match very long and it made him look unbelievably dominant. HHH is PISSED. Rock isn’t sure what to do. Naturally they jump him early which makes perfect sense. He hits an awesome looking diving double clothesline to take them out. I’m liking this. Show was the big monster at this point and this was working really well. He’s also a lot slimmer at this time so he looks like the monster that they always build him up to be today.

Show is throwing HHH around which is just impressive. Amazingly enough, we hit the floor less than three minutes into the match. At least they gave the in ring stuff a real chance this time. They say Show is the biggest man in WWF history at 7’2 and 500lbs. That’s just completely wrong but whatever.

They get him down and Rock hits the People’s Elbow which apparently would have been a three if HHH hadn’t made the save. Yeah I’ll buy that one. Show and HHH double team the Rock for just a bit. Never mind we’re back to Show vs. HHH on the floor of course. Le sigh we’re going back to the entrance way for more brawling. HHH gets slammed through some random table that was just sitting there for no apparent reason.

My video freezes a bit in the middle of a JR line that I just knew would end in HHH should burn. Yep I’m right. I think I watch too much wrestling. This brawling is ridiculous. Rock is about to be chokeslammed but HHH breaks it up, because of course you need two threats instead of just one right? They cover it by saying HHH needs Rock’s help to beat Big Show.

Based just on the way they’re building up Show, you could pretty much tell he would be taking the title tonight. We brawl a bit more because we haven’t hit our quota yet so we go to the announce tables for awhile. Show takes a bell to the head, leading to both other guys managing to suplex him through the Spanish Announce Table. Oh how I love running jokes. Dang it Rock and HHH are fighting in the crowd now.

I really hate this style. It’s not even a style. It’s just wild fighting with no rhyme or reason to it, but it sold tickets and drove up ratings I guess, so there we are. Since there hasn’t been enough stupid stuff in this match, we lose a referee. Rock hits the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane apparently just happened to have a referee’s shirt laying around so he sprints to the ring and counts two.

Another Rock Bottom gets two as Show makes the save. Lawler calls him the Giant which really isn’t a copyright issue because he is indeed a giant. Show puts Rock on the table and just beats the holy crap out of him before going back into the ring. Instead of trying to you know, pin HHH he goes back to beating on Rock on the floor. HHH gets the belt because he just felt lonely without it I guess.

HHH pedigrees his future brother in law for no apparent reason other than he’s a heel. Here’s DX because we haven’t had enough of them tonight. This was another big criticism of the Attitude Era as everything ended in a big brawl, much like WCW and the NWO or TNA today. Vince is back though, and business isn’t about to pick up. JR you disappoint me. He pops HHH in the head with the belt and HhH is up before Vince is in a stupid looking moment.

The chokeslam gives us the shocking new champion and a good pop from the crowd. Rock and Show would start a feud soon enough, as this would be the original main event for Mania but Foley was added in for no apparent reason other than letting him main event a Mania. Show dedicates the win to his father which if his father had legitimately died recently would be awesome but it’s not so whatever.

Rating: C+. WAY too much brawling here. I get that they didn’t want to expose Show as a bit limited so they did what they could, but this was over half on the floor in a fifteen minute plus match. It was ok, but the massive amount of run ins and brawling hurt it for me. It’s ok, but it’s nothing special. The surprises at the beginning and the end help it a lot, so we’ll call it just above average.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty solid show, but there’s no great match on it anywhere. Jericho and Chyna is easily the best match here, but that’s not saying a lot. This is far more important for Austin of course, but that wouldn’t be touched on for nearly a year.

Show would hold the title for about a month and a half before losing it back to HHH on Raw and then turning heel to join up with Shane, leading to the McMahon in every corner main event at Wrestlemania. This is an ok show, but it’s just ok. I don’t think I’d recommend it, but I wouldn’t recommend to avoid it either, if that makes sense. It’s better than just being there, but not by much.

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVI (2020 Redo): Before TLC Wasn’t TLC

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was one of the shows that tied for the most votes for a redo but I’ve seen Wrestlemania X, the other option, more times than I really need to and this sounded more interesting. It’s kind of an infamous Wrestlemania as there are no singles matches on the entire show but it is the biggest show of the year in the best year WWE has ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner. Sweet goodness she can knock that out of the park.

The opening video is a quick “hey it’s Wrestlemania” before looking at the four way main event with a McMahon in each corner. That’s all that really matters here, but it’s quite the big deal.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice T. raps Godfather and Brown to the floor with an original song, including telling the fans to “GRAB YOUR B******!” Brown slugs away at Buchanan to start and it’s off to Godfather in a hurry. That means a slam into the spinning legdrop, only to miss the big elbow (which would have missed by three feet anyway). Boss Man comes in and the fans aren’t pleased, mainly because this is their opener.

It’s back to Buchanan, who hits that perfect top rope spinning clothesline so Boss Man can come in for the running crotch attack to the back. A big boot into the ax kick gets two as Lawler can’t help but freak out over Godfather’s ladies. Buchanan whips Brown into the steps and it’s back inside for the bearhug.

The fans get on Boss Man again as Brown fights out, only to get caught with a backbreaker as JR makes XFL references. Buchanan goes up so Godfather shakes the rope for the crotching. A hurricanrana allows the hot tag to Godfather and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Everything breaks down and it’s a Boss Man Slam to Brown, followed by the great looking guillotine legdrop for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. What a completely bizarre opener. This would have been a filler match on any given episode of Raw and it’s the first thing you see on Wrestlemania? With the heels winning? It’s a really weird choice here and serves no major purpose, so why go this way? The crowd was surprised and a bit deflated, which is a rather stupid choice to open the show. Totally weird one here.

HHH and Stephanie, the Women’s Champion, are rather chill before the huge main event.

We see Crash handing over the Hardcore Title so it can be defended in the Hardcore Battle Royal.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Crash, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Hardcore Holly, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Mosh, Thrasher, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending and this is a big free for all with falls counting anywhere. Whoever gets the final fall leaves as champion, with no limit on the title changes allowed. It’s a brawl to start and Tazz suplexes Crash for the pin at 24 seconds. Viscera grabs Tazz for a posting and a World’s Strongest Slam gives him the title at 56 seconds.

A bunch of people brawl around the ring but another bunch go after Viscera. The Acolytes can’t put him down, though Hardcore can bust Crash open with a shot to the head. The weapons shots continue with no one getting any serious advantage until Hardcore hits Viscera with a cookie sheet for two. More violence ensues as we hit five minutes, though Viscera is starting to slow down.

Back in and Viscera hits various people with the cookie sheet….before going up top. The Acolytes slam him down and Faarooq breaks a 2×4 over his back. A top rope shoulder drops Viscera and the Acolytes put Kai En Tai on top so….Funaki can win the title with 7:37 to go. Taka immediately turns on Funaki, who sprints to the back in a smart move indeed. The Mean Street Posse catches him in the back and Rodney whips Funaki into a barricade to win the title with 6:51 to go.

Abs suplexes him for the title at 6:37 to go but gets sent into a door so Thrasher can pin him with 6:18 to go. Back in the arena and the bloody Pete Gas sprays Thrasher with a fire extinguisher for the title with 5:32 to go. They go back to ringside and Tazz suplexes Pete for the title with 4:44 to go. In the confusion, Tazz even rolls Thrasher up for one, with the referee counting out of insanity. The Hollys double team Tazz inside until he trashcan lids his way to freedom, including a shot to Crash’s head for two.

We have two minutes left as the Hollys fight over who gets to pin Tazz, as you might have seen coming. Hardcore’s dropkick gets two with a minute left but he gets suplexed out, leaving him alone in the ring. Crash comes back in for a cookie sheet shot for the title at 37 seconds left.

Tazz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore busts a jar of candy over Tazz’s head for the pin and the title at 1 second left to win the thing at 15:00. That was a botched ending as the referee stopped counting at 2 because Hardcore came in too early and shouldn’t have gotten the pin. Also, allegedly, Tazz was supposed to get a run as Intercontinental Champion (possibly in the role that went to Chris Benoit) but the glass got in his eye and he was out of action for a few months as a result.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to say about this one, but the biggest problem is it goes on a bit too long. Cut this down to ten minutes and it’s better, as what they have loses its charm a bit near the end. The ending being botched didn’t help things either and there is no big moment that makes you chuckle. It’s not a disaster or anything, but it’s nothing memorable either.

We look at Axxess, which was still a new thing back then. Chris Jericho thinks everyone is here to him, and he might be right. It’s so weird seeing it still be what looks to be a smaller function, compared to the insanity that it is today. This goes on for a good while, likely to clean up the arena.

We look at the battle royal ending again, because it was that much of a mess.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall because he has some idea. Steve Blackman comes in and tells him to be serious.

We cut to a closeup of Trish Stratus’ chest, just in case you thought the next match meant a thing.

Al Snow/Steve Blackman vs. T&A

Hold on though as Snow, who has dubbed his team Head Cheese, brings out……CHESTER MCCHEESETON, a man in a cheese suit, as a mascot. Blackman slides between Test’s legs to start as JR’s microphone has gone out, much to Lawler’s delight. Snow comes in and gets kicked in the face in the corner as Lawler isn’t even trying to do play by play (makes sense).

An enziguri takes Albert down so it’s back to Blackman, who gets shouldered down. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Test gets sent outside. That leaves Albert to get suplexed and Snow slowly hammers away as the match somehow grinds to more of a halt. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Chester starts hitting on Trish. Lawler: “It’s like Chester the Molester.”

Albert knocks Blackman away and brings in Test to pick up the pace in a weird near hot tag from the heels. A powerbomb gets two on Snow because this needs to keep going, including the bowling shoe line from JR. Snow is back up with a backbreaker/guillotine legdrop combination for two on Test. Albert gorilla presses Test onto Blackman for two with Snow making the save. He gets knocked down, leaving Blackman to get press slammed again, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: F. Other than Trish, this is one of the most irredeemable matches I’ve seen in years. There was no heat, there was no good action and there was no reason to keep this going. I’m not sure what the thinking was going into this but it was a disaster in every sense of the word. This is up there with some of the worst Wrestlemania matches ever and the only reason it’s not higher is the stakes are so low.

Post match, Snow and Blackman beat up Chester because the loss was his fault. Somehow, this made things even worse, if that’s possible.

Kat is sans clothing in the back with Mae Young and we get an Austin Powers style gag with Mae holding up various objects at rather opportune times to cover various things.

The Dudley Boyz aren’t happy with being in a ladder match but they’re ready to walk out as champions. This is when Bubba still had the southern accent and it’s bizarre to see these days.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

The Dudleys are defending in the first ever triangle ladder match. There isn’t exactly a story here, because that would be missing the point in a match like this. Edge and Christian jump the Hardys before the bell and the fight is on with the champs still in the aisle. As usual, the three brawls break out at the same time and they wind up all around the arena. Bubba gives Jeff a Bubba Bomb and Christian throws in the first ladder.

Everyone winds up inside with ladders crushing the Dudleys in the corner. Edge gets laddered down as well and Jeff hits a DDT on Bubba. Jeff’s 450 hits ladder though, leaving Bubba to put the ladder on him and Bubba Bomb said ladder. Another ladder is put on top of Matt so Edge rides a ladder down, Shawn Michaels style, to crush him again. Back up and Bubba puts the ladder on his head for the Terry Funk helicopter spot until the Canadians dropkick him down.

The double flapjack puts D-Von into the ladder in the corner, followed by Christian climbing a ladder and diving down onto Bubba and Matt. Jeff climbs up so Edge spears him off the top rope in a big crash. Multiple ladders are set up in the middle and it’s Bubba cuttering Christian off for the next double knockdown. The Hardys are back up with the splash/legdrop combination to Bubba, followed by a superplex to bring D-Von off the ladder.

Edge and Christian and the Hardys climb but take each other back down and it’s a huge double crash. A third ladder is set up and all six climb, with the Hardys taking a crazy bump over the top to the floor, with Christian and Edge being shoved onto the ropes for a nice crash of their own. Back in and Christian gets crushed with the ladder, leaving Edge to take 3D (the old version, with Bubba getting a running start). Some tables are thrown in and the Dudleys bridge one up on top of a pair of ladders like a scaffold.

The Hardys make the save because that took a long time but the Dudleys are right back up too. Bubba sets up a table at ringside and climbs onto a table (JR: “Not the Spanish announce table!”) and powerbombs Matt through it. D-Von’s splash misses Jeff and only hits table so Jeff runs the barricade at Bubba, who throws a ladder at him for the nasty crash.

Just to make it worse, Bubba sets up the huge ladder in the aisle with a table for a bonus. Christian pops back up and saves Jeff with a bell shot though, leaving Bubba on the table. You know what that means, as Jeff goes up and hits the CRAZY Swanton to crush Bubba (who sells it like death). Back in and Matt goes up, only to get shoved off the platform and through the table, leaving Edge and Christian to win their first (of a freaking ton) Tag Team Titles at 22:31.

Rating: A. I could watch these every day, but egads they are some violent matches. They beat the heck out of each other and it’s some of the most exciting things you’ll see. One of them was once told that they weren’t supposed to be telling stories in these matches but they were managing to pull it off. That’s absolutely the case, as the series of matches that started here would just get better. It’s almost impossible to believe they would wind up being so amazing, but this was quite awesome in its own right, with the ending being a pretty cool visual. Check this out if you haven’t in awhile.

Linda McMahon tells Mick Foley to go get it tonight. Foley talks about how this is the biggest show of the year and it’s the biggest match ever, so it’s the biggest match of all time. Tonight, he’s proving that fairy tales come true for him. I’ve watched a lot of Foley over the years and you can hear it in his voice: this means the world to him.

The Kat vs. Terri

Mae Young and Moolah are the respective seconds, Val Venis is refereeing and you win by throwing the other woman to the floor. Val gets in his usual jokes about how this is the big show and only comes once a year, but…..yeah you get the joke here. The catfight is on in a hurry but Kat stops to kiss Val. A few hair tosses let Terri pose but Kat nails a spear. Mae gets on the apron and tries to take off her clothes, meaning Val misses Kat throwing Terri out. Moolah goes after Terri so Mae can kiss Val, allowing Moolah to pull Kat to the floor, giving Terri the win at 2:23. This was somehow worse than the usual women’s match of the day.

Post match Mae hits Moolah and gives her the Bronco Buster. Kat strips off Terri’s pants for a bonus.

The Radicalz are ready for their six man match but Eddie Guerrero is more worried about his hair. And Chyna.

Chyna is disgusted.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

The Radicalz (minus Benoit here) have only been around about two and a half months here. Eddie and Scotty circle each other to start until Eddie’s headlock makes Scotty lose his hat. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Eddie so Scotty dances over to Chyna, meaning Eddie needs to crawl to the corner in a hurry. As JR talks about Chyna looking great, it’s a double suplex to drop Dean, allowing Chyna and Grandmaster to dance a bit.

Grandmaster slams Malenko and makes that weird noise of his, followed by a belly to back suplex to Guerrero. Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop though and it’s the Radicalz taking over for the first time. Just to make it personal, Saturn STEALS GRANDMASTER’S HEAD THING and stomps away even more. Grandmaster doesn’t like the hat stealing and gets over for the tag a few seconds later, only to have Scotty get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Lawler: “Chyna starting to feel the heat. She’s starting to perspire and get moist!”

Eddie gyrates at her a bit before sending her into the turnbuckle, earning himself a Grandmaster suplex to the floor. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Worm (JR: “Not the double Worm! Well it is Wrestlemania!”) to Saturn and Malenko. The referee grabs Chyna to keep her from killing Eddie and Saturn superkicks Scotty.

The always great looking top rope elbow mostly misses so Scotty can superplex Eddie down. Chyna comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, including a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie tries to powerbomb Chyna but she slips out into one of her own (with almost no elevation), setting up the gorilla press for the big spot. A sleeper drop finishes Guerrero at 9:39.

Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t anything great but they did an awesome job of firing up the crowd. The people wanted to see what they were doing here and it was a lot of fun as a result. They pulled me into this and I was having a good time with the whole thing. Chyna wasn’t what she used to be but the stuff with Eddie was awesome and would get better the next night when they got together.

Some fans won a contest and were flown to Wrestlemania on the day of the show.

Shane McMahon is ready for Big Show to win the WWF Title.

We see Kurt Angle laying out Bob Backlund for getting him in a two fall triple threat match. Angle didn’t need him anymore and never really did in the first place so good job on splitting them up.

Kurt Angle tries to get extra security after he retains his titles tonight. He’s willing to sign autographs for the guard’s kids! Maybe. Goofy, delusional Kurt is one of my all time favorites and always has been.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and this is a two fall match, with the Intercontinental Title on the line first and the European Title second. Jericho can’t guarantee walking out as a champion but he’ll walk out as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah. As for Kirk Angel and Mr. Roboto, they can have a shirt remind them of their trip to Anaheim and a Y2J beating. Jericho was still finding his footing with the signature promos in the WWF but they would get way better in a hurry.

They start fast with Benoit getting the better of it until Jericho triangle dropkicks the two of them to the floor. Jericho goes up but gets shoved down onto the announcers’ table, leaving Benoit to suplex Angle for two. Back in and Jericho dropkicks Angle down for two more but has to break up Angle’s cover on Benoit for the same. Angle suplexes Jericho for another two and a dropkick puts Benoit on the floor. The crossface chickenwing has Jericho in trouble but Benoit makes the save. A Swan Dive finishes Jericho for the first fall and the Intercontinental Title at 7:54.

Benoit gets smart by going for the cover on Jericho again but Angle comes in with a suplex for his own two. Jericho catches Angle on top but Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho, leaving Angle to miss the moonsault. Everyone is down until Benoit has to save Angle from the Walls. The spinwheel kick puts Benoit on the floor and it’s the double powerbomb to Angle. Benoit is right back in with the rolling German suplexes for two on Jericho as Angle makes another save.

There’s a dragon suplex for two on Angle, with the most ridiculous count I’ve seen in a long time as Angle’s shoulder is on top of Benoit’s. The ref gets bumped (maybe it can fix his eyes), meaning Benoit making Jericho tap to the Crossface doesn’t mean anything. A belt shot drops Jericho as the referee is back up, just as Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Jericho gets back in and Lionsaults Benoit for the European Title at 13:47.

Rating: B. This is always a weird one as it’s some pretty intricate booking (with Angle being very protected in losing both titles) but it didn’t feel urgent for a lot of the match. They were just going from move to move a lot of the time, but it’s still one of the best things on the show. It’s not like these three could ever do badly, so the match was entertaining and almost non-stop action, so it’s a lot more good than bad.

Vince McMahon promises to be a factor and guarantees to make it right.

HHH doesn’t care about what Vince says because tonight he’s going to show everyone who the man is.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Kane/Rikishi

X-Pac and Dogg have Tori with them, along with the awesome Run-DMC theme. Kane on the other hand has Paul Bearer and the always cool inverted red and black attire. Tori slaps Bearer to start so Kane grabs her by the throat as Rikishi gives Road Dogg the Stinkface. X-Pac and Dogg fail to run away and we settle down to X-Pac kicking hitting the Bronco Buster on Rikishi.

Dogg’s dancing punches set up the shaky knee for two but Rikishi grabs a pop up cutter (that’s an awesome move and someone should use it as a finisher). It’s back to Kane and the pain begins in a hurry. X-Pac gets away from the threat of a Stinkface so Tori takes it instead, giving the fans what they had been waiting on. The Tombstone finishes X-Pac at 4:16.

Rating: D. The match was just a means to an end here as you needed a way to get to Tori taking the Stinkface and X-Pac getting dropped on his head. That’s fine from a storyline perspective, though I’m not sure I would have had it second from the top of Wrestlemania. Not a good match, but what were you expecting given this lineup?

Post match Too Cools out, meaning it’s time to dance. Hold on though as the San Diego Chicken, as in the disguise that Pete Rose wore last year, is here as well. Dancing ensues and the Chicken is far too good of a dancer to be Pete Rose. Kane grabs the chicken (there has to be a joke there somehow) but Rose runs in with the baseball bat. Rikishi takes that away so Kane chokeslams Rose, setting up the Stinkface to end the Rose saga for a good many years.

Rock is ready for the final battle and of course he would do it all over again. This is Wrestlemania and it’s not about the McMahons (oh please) because it’s all about the WWF Championship and tonight is the night.

Some celebrities are here.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. HHH

HHH is defending, elimination rules, and there’s a McMahon in every corner, with Vince, Linda, Shane and Stephanie here respectively. They might as well have just had the McMahons working the match as they’re the only things that matter here. JR: “Not Mankind, not Dude Love, not Mankind, but Mick Foley is in the main event of Wrestlemania!” That made me smile so much. Foley and HHH pair off as Rock punches Show in the corner to start in a hurry. HHH gets hammered down to start up the running knee but Show runs them both over with a double clothesline.

Rock gets gorilla pressed and there’s one for HHH as well. Foley tries choking Show, who drops down hard onto him to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a side slam to Rock but Foley kicks Show low to break up a chokeslam to HHH. It’s time to triple team Show, including a series of clotheslines to finally knock him down. The Cactus Clothesline takes HHH to the floor, meaning Foley can beat on HHH with a chair. Shane gets knocked off the apron and a chair shot to Show lets the Rock Bottom get the first pin at 4:48.

Show and Shane both leave, meaning ringside is a little less crowded. HHH gets smart by offering a deal with Foley and that’s a big negative. Rock on the other hand says sure, before punching HHH in the face as you might have seen coming. They head outside with HHH getting double teamed even more as Stephanie tries to learn how to emote. Foley whips HHH into a Rock clothesline but a bell shot knocks Foley silly. HHH sends Rock into a few things, but the delay lets Foley find the barbed wire 2×4.

It winds up going into Foley’s ribs though, meaning Rock had to make a save from even more violence. A double arm DDT sets up the Mandible Claw and Rock adds a belt shot. That means the People’s Elbow, but Foley grabs the Claw on the Rock in a smart move. HHH low blows both of them (maybe not the brightest move) and everyone is down for a bit. Foley hammers Rock a bit and gets two off the DDT, with the fans being rather relieved by the kickout.

Rock kicks the chair into Foley’s face and a DDT gets two, with HHH making a rather illogical save. NOW Foley is willing to team up on Rock and the fans really aren’t sure what to think of this one. The running knee gets two on Rock and this time HHH doesn’t make a save. There’s a double suplex for two more and the ROCKY chants start up again.

A steps shot puts Rock down and Foley loads up the middle rope elbow, only to slam HARD ribs first into the side of the announcers’ table (it’s sad seeing that he just can’t do it here). HHH drives Foley through the table and Pedigrees Foley for two, with a big reaction from the crowd. A chair to the head sets up a Pedigree onto the chair to get rid of Foley (for good I’m sure) at 19:40.

Foley gets the hero’s sendoff…..but he’s not done yet. He comes back and hits HHH with the barbed wire 2×4 before leaving with a BANG BANG. Rock gets two and it’s time for the big slugout, followed by the clothesline to send HHH outside again. They fight up the aisle and Rock suplexes him on the stage. HHH is sent into the set and they fight through the crowd to get back to ringside. Rock grabs the steps but HHH chairs them into his face and then unloads on the steps with the chair for a bonus.

A hard piledriver onto the steps has JR demanding/begging that the match be stopped and gives HHH a rather delayed two back inside. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top so they fight into the crowd again. After knocking Rock over the barricade, HHH knocks a fan’s hat off to be extra nasty. Rock gets in a shot of his own and they’re both down at ringside again. A suplex sends HHH through the announcers’ table and it’s another double knockdown.

HHH sends Rock inside so Vince posts HHH, drawing Shane back out to jump Vince (you knew this stuff was coming). A monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly and gives us one of the funniest stunned expressions I’ve ever seen from Stephanie (look that one up if you get the chance). Vince fights up and beats on Shane, because the main event of Wrestlemania can be ignored for the sake of more drama between these two. A chair to the head drops Vince and Shane even threatens the massive Michael Clarke Duncan at ringside.

Cue Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco to get the busted open Vince out of here so we can go back to the actual match. Rock DDTs HHH for two but a shot to the face puts Rock right back down. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult to cut off an interfering Shane and the Rock Bottom connects. There’s no cover due to exhaustion so here’s Vince again (a full two minutes after he left) to go after Shane yet again. Vince grabs the chair….and of course turns on Rock with a shot to the head for two. Another chair shot from Vince retains the title at 36:26.

Rating: C-. It’s too much. There were so many instances here where I kept wondering how many more times we were going to have the McMahons get involved or have the guys fight into the crowd. Storyline wise, this would have been WAY better as a run of the mill singles match, but I can go with having Foley in there for the sentimental moment. Show….well they had an extra McMahon. At the end of the day though, it was all about the McMahons instead of Rock winning the title like he should have, with the family stuff being more of the same stuff we had seen for years. It’s not terrible, but cut out the nonsense and it’s better.

Post match Vince and Stephanie hug because all is well in part of the McMahon Family again. Shane comes in to look at Vince but gets Rock Bottomed. Vince gets one as well and Stephanie takes the third in a row, followed by the People’s Elbow.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it missed pretty badly. The problem here comes down to the fact that most of the matches just aren’t very good. TLC Beta and the triple threat are both great to rather good, but no one cared about the ladder match after TLC debuted five months later and the trio would have one great match against each other after another on higher levels. This doesn’t really feel like a Wrestlemania as there is way too much stuff that serves as little more than filler. It’s not the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it’s rather close to the bottom of the pile.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

2020 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

2020 Redo: A

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2020 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: B-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

2020 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Where did that six person tag one come from? And have I ever been that all over the place like I am on the Hardcore Battle Royal?

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-2015-redo-time-to-play-the-game/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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