Monday Night Raw
Date: July 28, 2003
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally past the final single brand pay per view before it’s time for Summerslam and that means the build begins tonight. Last week saw Goldberg come out to face off with HHH so odds are we’ll have a title match set up in the very near future. Other than that, Kane is still a monster and there’s not much that can be done to stop him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Linda McMahon’s appearance last week, including getting Tombstoned by Kane.

Here’s Vince (in a rather hideous shirt) to open things up. He’s here to confront Kane’s lack of manhood, not because he’s a good husband (Vince: “Everybody knows better than that.”). Before tonight, everything is going to break loose against Kane.

Booker T./Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Test

Egads these feuds just won’t die. Booker and Test start things off by trading some shots to the face until Christian’s cheap shot lets the dastardly Canadians take over. Steiner comes in and Test actually runs to the floor to hide. Back in and the push-up elbow has Christian in trouble and a gorilla press makes things even worse.

The reverse DDT gives Christian a breather and of course Test is ready to come in and stomp away. A running clothesline in the corner allows Test to do his own pushups, though Stacy really isn’t impressed. The hot tag brings in Booker and everything breaks down with Steiner suplexing Christian over to the floor. Lawler, I guess thinking this is the NWA for some reason, says that should be a DQ.

That confusing idea takes us to a break and we come back with Steiner fighting out of Test’s chinlock. Another suplex allows another hot tag to Booker as things pick up again. House is quickly cleaned and Test kicks Christian by mistake, allowing Booker to ax kick Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m thoroughly sick of both of these feuds but for some reason both just keep going. Test vs. Steiner is likely leading to another big gimmick match but I’m not sure Booker vs. Christian needs to be anything more than over. While this wasn’t terrible, it was a pair of feuds that didn’t need to continue and for some reason that’s what we’re stuck with.

We see a clip of the press conference with HHH vs. Goldberg being announced as the Raw main event for Summerslam.

Goldberg vs. Steven Richards

The usual finishes Richards in just over a minute.

Rico vs. Val Venis

Rematch from a few weeks ago where Rico beat Venis on Heat. Rico disrobes to start and it’s an early spank for Val. A waistlock just makes Rico bend over as I think you can get the joke. Don’t worry if you can’t though as WWE will make sure to beat you over the head with it in short order.

Rico flips up to his feet and gets dropkicked in the back, which only seems to set Rico off. A middle rope ax handle gives Rico two and he gets in some right hands to the head as this is going WAY longer than it needs to. Val comes back with a spinebuster and the Money Shot is good for the pin, despite Miss Jackie’s failed interference attempt.

Rating: D. WAY too long here (and it was only about five minutes) as there was no need for this match to have any kind of time whatsoever. Rico did his nonsense at first but after that it was just Rico vs. Val Venis for longer than it needed on Raw. I know they need to build midcard characters but they really need something better than this.

Bischoff instructs security on how to handle the arriving Kane. The solution: keep him locked in a van until the time is right.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho in a great mood after making Shawn Michaels tap out last week. Jericho calls that the first time Shawn ever tapped out, which almost has to be an exaggeration. Anyway, after looking at the clip a few times, here’s Randy Orton as the official guest. Orton talks about Evolution loving the Highlight Reel and they even have a gift for Jericho: an Evolution t-shirt. Jericho is touched and would love to give Orton a Highlight Reel shirt but they’re all sold out.

Anyway, Jericho asks about the RKO, which he calls majestic. That brings Jericho to the big question though: why did Orton interfere in the match last week? It’s not like Jericho needed it you see. Orton says he was trying to make a name for himself and what better way to do it than by killing another legend. Shawn says Jericho is the kind of guy who has made him a millionaire over the years and he’s ready to face Jericho one more time right here tonight. Jericho declines and the fight is on in a hurry with the numbers game getting the better of Shawn. Kevin Nash makes the save and says he’ll fight Jericho right now.

Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

Joined in progress with Nash forearming Jericho in the corner but Chris takes the knee out to put Nash down. Jericho stomps away on the bad knee in the corner as the announcers get in every possible nickname they can think of for either guy. Nash comes back with a side slam but Jericho hits him low for a DQ.

Rating: D-. Nothing to see here and it might as well have been attached to the previous segment. I was liking Nash being stuck in the lower midcard but you knew he wasn’t going to lower himself down to that point for very long. There was nothing to see here, but you can pretty much guess that it’s just a way to advance to another point in the story.

Post match Nash snaps and destroys Jericho, dropping him face first into an exposed buckle to bust him open. Nash does it again but Jericho bails into the crowd before Nash can hit him with the steps.

We look back at the opening sequence.

Hurricane thinks something is wrong with Rosey and wants to know whatsupwithdat. Rosey, the Superhero in Training, said that he was at the airport (must have been with Kevin Nash) today and someone called him a big piece of…..yeah. Maybe Rosey can have half a match and a beach towel, but one day he’ll have hurri-powers. Rosey tries to fly but goes and sits down instead. This was basically saying “yeah this is still going.”.

Bischoff yells at the guards for opening the van doors to give Kane some air.

Rob Van Dam has a severe concussion and JR is out of the hospital.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak

La Resistance is defending and the Dudley Boyz are on commentary. Jindrak and Cade won a non-title match on Heat to set this up, because the tag division is so deep that you can have the champs lose clean falls. Cade shoulders Dupree down to start and a second version sends him to the floor. Back in and a double dropkick gets two on Rene and Jindrak hits a regular version to keep him in trouble.

Cade comes in for some right hands as the fans want tables. A hot shot (to the middle rope) cuts Cade off though and the champs take over. The threat of a flag shot brings the Dudleys down for a save and we take a break. Back with Jindrak coming in for more dropkicks and one of the highest backdrops I’ve seen in a long time. Maybe if he did that more than just dropkick everyone, he could have stayed in Evolution. Everything breaks down and the double spinebuster puts Jindrak away to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. The French guys are rapidly hitting their ceiling but there’s only so much you can do when you have the Dudleys and virtually no one else to face. It also doesn’t help that your whole characters are “we’re French”. Jindrak and Cade are fine for some pretty boys, but you have a limited amount of chances with the first name Garrison. Was someone watching South Park and got pressed for a name?

Post match the beatdown is teased but the Dudleys come in for the save. That lasts all of five seconds before some flag shots leave the good guys laying.

Kane is let out of the van but isn’t in a good mood.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly

Gail is defending after Molly pinned her in a tag match last week. Kim armbars her to start as Lawler goes straight into the “all women hate each other” speech. The rope walk armdrag is broken up as Molly shoves her out to the floor in a heap. It’s off to a bow and arrow hold for a few moments until Kim snaps off a headscissors. Some rollups give Gail two and she gets in the required hurricanrana for the same. The top rope hurricanrana is broken up though and the Molly Go Round gives Holly the title.

Rating: D. They didn’t have a choice here as Kim was bombing out there as champion. I know she would get better in later years but it REALLY wasn’t working at this point and there’s no way around that. Somehow, Kim would never win another title in WWE. You really would think they would have gone back to her at some point but it just never happened. The match was nothing of course and just a way to give us the necessary title change.

Here’s Vince to address Kane face to face. Kane is brought out in shackles but Vince wants them removed. They go face to face in the ring with Vince insulting him but then shifting to the idea of having a monster in the palm of his hand. Before he can get too far though, here’s Austin to interrupt, giving us that amazing look that only Vince hearing Austin’s music can bring.

Austin gets straight to the point: he’s continuing as General Manager, which means he can’t beat people up without being physically provoked. Therefore, he wants Kane to provoke him RIGHT NOW. Austin insults him a few times and literally sticks his chin out while begging Kane to hit him. Kane backs up instead but here’s the returning Shane McMahon to beat Kane up instead. Shane hits some chair shots to knock Kane up the ramp and a big one sends him off the stage. Kane sits up and laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Well that didn’t work. With no good matches in sight and almost nothing that makes me want to see Summerslam (at least on the Raw side), this show did little more than make me want to watch Smackdown. Somehow HHH vs. Goldberg might be the most interesting thing on this show and that’s really not saying much. Shane vs. Kane makes my head hurt as you have Rob Van Dam, as in an actual wrestler, there to face Kane instead. Really bad show here, which you knew was coming sooner or later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 21, 2003
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

So Kane is still the big monster, even though we already have HHH as the evil World Champion. As usual, this show seemingly has no idea how to push a face other than Steve Austin, who might be in line to be fired tonight. The good thing is we should be starting the build towards Summerslam soon, meaning we can get away from these big TV shows. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane setting JR on fire last week, because that’s the kind of thing going on around here. More importantly though, Austin might be fired by Linda McMahon, because we don’t have enough of that family.

Opening sequence.

Eric Bischoff is in the ring and brags about Austin being fired tonight but Linda cuts him off. She needs Eric to listen up because she’s only going to say this once (I’m sure there will be half a dozen replays though so he’s covered): Kane and Kane alone is responsible for his actions. JR hasn’t pressed charges against Kane but Kane will have to undergo extensive psychological counseling and is under house arrest. That being said, he can still come here and earn a living, which is why he’ll be facing Rob Van Dam tonight. I’m…..really not sure that’s how that works.

Anyway, Bischoff still wants Austin fired so here’s Austin in person. He won’t apologize for anything he’s done in this role because he’s always thought it was the right thing to do. If JR doesn’t want to press charges, Austin will beat Kane up himself. I’m sure there’s a rule against beating up someone under house arrest.

Linda doesn’t think either of them have done anything wrong but Austin can’t keep beating people up. If he wants to keep his job, he won’t be putting his hands on anyone anymore, unless he’s physically provoked. Austin says he has a lot to think about but Linda says if Austin steps down, Bischoff is in full control. He’ll think about it, but Linda can only give him a week. As for tonight, they both have the week off. The Goodbye Song is sung and beer is consumed.

Trish Stratus/Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly/Victoria

Molly and Gail start us off but thankfully it’s off to Trish a few seconds in. Lawler talks about being distracted due to JR. Just to be clear, JERRY LAWLER is talking about not paying enough attention to women’s wrestling. While that one settles in, Molly hits her handspring elbow on Trish to what sounds more like a golf clap. Victoria’s slingshot flip legdrop gets two but an enziguri drops Molly.

Gail comes back in with a high crossbody for no cover, instead botching the run up the corner. Maybe she’s slippery due to the big beer stain on the mat? Or she’s just not that great yet? Everything breaks down and Gail gets one off the hurricanrana. Victoria rips Gail’s top off but Trish kicks Gail in the head by mistake, giving Molly the pin.

Rating: D-. Maybe it’s just too early in her run but Gail is almost shockingly limited and flat out bad so far. Her offense is limited and she has no character to speak of, which somehow puts her on the low end of the division. Bad and sloppy match here, but that’s what you have to expect from a women’s match around this time.

Terri is waiting for Kane to arrive when Chris Jericho comes in to ask why she’s not talking about his match with Shawn Michaels. Because that’s not her assignment? He sings a bit, which is likely why this is missing from the Network version.

Austin and Bischoff run into each other in the parking lot. An argument over what ended WCW ensues.

Here’s Evolution for a chat, debuting the Motorhead version of their theme music in the process. Orton talks about Mick Foley wanting him to make a name for himself, which Orton did by throwing Foley down a flight of stairs. He officially dubs himself the Legend Killer.

Randy Orton vs. Val Venis

HHH is on commentary. Venis takes over with a hammerlock to start and ties the arm up with his feet. Orton shoves him back as HHH wonders why JR didn’t stop, drop and roll. Back up and Flair grabs Venis’ foot, allowing Orton to hit his dropkick. Val makes a comeback after a full ten seconds on defense, including a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. HHH panicking for a split second on the near fall is a nice touch. The Money Shot misses and it’s the RKO for the pin.

Rating: D. Just another quick win for Orton and that’s what this should have been. Orton gets to look good (albeit not too good) in a showcase match, which hopefully leads to something in the future. Having him out there showcasing his athleticism and the good finisher is all he needs right now though and this is a lot better than having him on the losing end of tag matches.

Post match Evolution gets in the ring with HHH bragging about their high level of awesome but Goldberg returns for the first time in a few weeks. Goldberg talks about HHH not looking invincible but just another victim. So now he’s Taz? Goldberg says HHH is next, thankfully keeping his talking short and to the point. Evolution bails of course.

Post break, Evolution has a plan, which seems to focus on Orton.

Wrestlemania Recall: Michaels vs. Jericho.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They go technical to start with Shawn getting in a hammerlock before tossing Jericho outside. Back in and Jericho headlocks him down as the slow pace continues. A pinfall reversal sequence leads to a Shawn headlock as the announcers talk about Kane and JR some more.

Jericho finally gets in a backbreaker and blocks skinning the cat, only to get low bridged out to the floor. A springboard crossbody drops Jericho again and Shawn decks an invading Flair for good measure. The Walls of Jericho go on though and we take a break. Back with Shawn hammering away in the corner, making me think they wasted a bit of a moment with that break. A big backdrop puts Shawn on the floor and it’s Flair getting in a few cheap shots as only he can.

Back in (again) and Shawn dropkicks him out of the air for a double knockdown. It’s Shawn up first with some clothesline and a catapult into the corner for two. Jericho is right back with a suplex and Lionsault for two. A top rope superplex is broken up though and Shawn drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music misses and the referee turns his head for no reason other than allowing Jericho to get in a low blow. Jericho grabs a chair but gets it superkicked into his face but the referee was with Flair. The nitwit referee goes to yell at Flair, allowing Orton to come in with an RKO onto the chair. It’s only good for two but Jericho grabs the Walls and Shawn (eventually) taps. That’s certainly better than the RKO getting the pin.

Rating: B-. This was more long than good as the interference took away too much focus from the match. If this leads to Orton beating Shawn then things are a little better, but for not it feels like they’re just wasting what could have been a major pay per view match. Now that being said, what we got was good, but these two are capable of so much more and it’s disappointing that they didn’t approach that level. At least Jericho got the win though, which should do him some good in the near future.

We look back at the opening segment.

Here’s Lance Storm to show off his talents to all the Hollywood elite tonight, including Rob Reiner in the front row. Storm reads off a statement about why he would be a great box office attraction but we cut to Kane, in shackles, arriving.

Ivory and Terri entertained some troops earlier this week.

Intercontinental Title: Test vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending and slugs away to start as Christian is shown watching in the back. A knee to the ribs cuts Booker off and Test gets in a few right hands. Test stops for some exercises because the Scott Steiner feud is still a thing. Booker elbows him in the face as Lawler AGAIN asks about JR pressing charges against Kane. This is probably the tenth time tonight and I have no idea how much more there is to say about it.

Test charges into a spinebuster but runs Booker over. Cue Steiner with a chair but it’s only so Stacy can come out and give him a lap dance on the stage. The distraction (with a great view) lets Booker grab a rollup for two. Not that it matters as the Bookend connects to retain the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. I had no issues with Stacy here but egads why is this feud continuing? Weren’t we supposed to get Nash vs. Test? Booker winning is the right idea and it’s nice to see him getting some success but even he can’t get much out of Test. Hopefully this story wraps up soon as it’s really not getting any better.

Some wrestlers are talking about Kane in the back while Hurricane and Rosey talk about Kane going insane. Hurricane thinks Rosey is a superhero in training and Goldust comes up to explain the joke.

Video on Kane vs. Rob Van Dam.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Kane has to be unshackled. Van Dam charges to the ring and kicks Kane outside for a big dive before the bell. Kane takes over and beats Van Dam up the aisle before loading up a chokeslam off the stage. Agents come out for the save and break it up but here’s Linda to really make things serious. Kane grabs her by the throat with Lawler failing to make a save. Everyone else is knocked down and Kane Tombstones Linda on the stage to end the show. The bell never rang so no match.

Overall Rating: D. So the Kane Show continues and that part is working fairly well actually. There’s a story there (and if you don’t know it, give Lawler five seconds and he’ll talk about it again) and Kane is selling the heck out of it, but where is it supposed to lead? He’s not getting the World Title and the top face on Raw (and really the only one who hasn’t been destroyed) is busy with HHH. There’s really just squashing Van Dam or Booker T. and neither of those are going to mean anything. Kane needs someone to destroy and Linda isn’t going to be enough.

As for the rest of the show, it was the usual Raw drek. The wrestling ranges from Shawn vs. Jericho being underwhelming (but still good) to everything else being pretty disastrous. There’s some stuff on here which could be good but they need to actually have some watchable matches for a change. A hot midcard feud would help too, though we seem destined for Evolution dominating and Kane running through the already damaged face pool. Maybe Summerslam can help, but not if it’s just more of the same.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2016
Date: November 20, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,143
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, David Otunga

I say this every year but it’s always hard to believe that it’s been a full year since this show. This was the first time that a Survivor Series was expanded to four hours but thankfully there’s a good chance that they could make it work, mainly due to the elimination matches. The main event though is Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, which I’m sure will be completely uneventful. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese vs. Noam Dar/TJ Perkins/Rich Swann

This is a preview match for something called 205 Live, which debuts next week. I know it hasn’t gone great but the division really has evolved into a better place than when it started. Swann gets a nice reaction and then starts with Nese, who gets chopped in the corner. They do their regular flips with Swann’s jump over Nese’s feet getting a good pop (as always) before it’s off to Perkins.

Some suplexes set up an Octopus Hold but Nese reverses into a kind of gutwrench suplex. Gulak comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner with everyone working him over. We actually get a TJ PERKINS chant as he slaps on the kneebar to keep Gulak in trouble. Everything breaks down and we take a break.

Back with Daivari in trouble this time as Dar gets two off a running kick to the face. Nese offers a distraction though and a spinebuster takes Dar down. A superkick gives Daivari two and it’s back to Gulak to crank on the leg. If this sounds rather uninteresting, it’s only because that’s what it is.

Dar dropkicks his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Swann to very little reaction. A good looking jumping hurricanrana takes Daivari off the middle rope as everything breaks down again. That means we hit the dives but the referee CUTS PERKINS OFF. Now you know that’s not working so Perkins dives over the referee to take out some villains. Back in and Swann’s standing 450 ends Daivari at 11:48.

Rating: C-. I forgot how uninteresting these earlier cruiserweight matches were. The guys barely have characters and the entire story here was “three faces vs. three heels”. It didn’t get much better for a long time but, as usual, the problem comes down to one simple thing: if the smaller guys on the main roster can be big stars and do all these dives, why should I be impressed when cruiserweights can do them too?

Kickoff Show: Luke Harper vs. Kane

Harper is part of the NEW Wyatt Family, which screwed Kane over, meaning we need a match here. Kane grabs a full nelson of all things and we’re in a chinlock fifteen seconds in. That goes nowhere so Harper grabs a headlock as the fans are oddly split here. Kane starts in on the shoulder by sending it into the buckle. Harper sends him outside though and hits that suicide shove of his (Who needs cruiserweights?).

A slingshot flip splash gives Luke two and we take a break. Back with Kane in a chinlock (well duh) but managing to superplex Harper down for a crash. The sidewalk slam gets two but Harper scores with a superkick for the same. Kane’s running DDT and Harper’s Boss Man Slam are good for two more each but it’s the chokeslam to put Harper away at 9:10.

Rating: D+. Well what were you expecting here? This was exactly the match you would have planned out for them and Kane won with his finisher. It’s about as paint by numbers of a power match as you can get and while it wasn’t terrible, it’s also a match I really didn’t need to see.

The opening video looks at Goldberg vs. Lesnar and then all the Raw vs. Smackdown matches. Well at least they got some time. I’m sure Stephanie’s voiceovers had nothing to do with it.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Bayley, Alicia Fox, Charlotte, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks

Smackdown: Alexa Bliss, Becky Lynch, Carmella, Naomi, Nikki Bella

Entrances alone take forever of course, which will be a theme tonight. Charlotte is Raw Women’s Champion and has Dana Brooke in her corner. Becky is Smackdown Women’s Champion but Nikki is captain. You know, because of course. Bliss gets a heck of a reaction (gee I wonder why). Actually hang on a second as there’s no Nikki. We cut to the back where she’s down after being attacked. Not to worry though, as Smackdown coach Natalya is more than willing to take the spot.

We settle down to Becky and Banks trading rollups before it’s off to Charlotte for more of the same. Becky can’t get the Disarm-Her and it’s off to Nia as things get a lot more difficult. Carmella and Bliss come in for the expected results and Naomi’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air. Natalya actually gets a reaction but Nia clotheslines her head off for her efforts. It’s off to Fox vs. Carmella with Alicia avoiding a Bronco Buster, setting up what looked to be a mostly missed ax kick for the elimination at 6:35. Bliss comes right in, sends Fox into the buckle and adds Twisted Bliss to tie it up at 6:48.

Charlotte and Naomi come in with the latter cleaning house, including knocking Nia outside and hitting a high crossbody to the floor. Nia posts her though and that’s a countout at 8:23. We pause for the Tye Dillinger TEN chant until Bliss takes Banks down and grinds her face into the mat. Banks sends Bliss and Natalya into each other, followed by the double knees in the corner to Alexa. Back up and Bliss saves Natalya from the Bank Statement, allowing Natalya to roll Banks up for the elimination at 10:20.

Charlotte comes in and gets suplexed, meaning we hit the SUPLEX CITY chants. You would think fans would know more chants than that. Charlotte goes up for the moonsault but, as always, Natalya powerbombs her down for two in the near fall that never ends Charlotte. The required Sharpshooter sends Charlotte crawling for the ropes but a big boot ends Natalya at 12:01.

Becky and Bliss get in an argument over who should come in, allowing Jax to suplex them both at the same time. Of course that gets a MAMA MIA from Mauro, which I miss hearing so often. Bliss gets caught in a slam but Becky makes a blind tag and missile dropkicks Bliss in the back to knock her onto Jax. The Disarm-Her actually makes Jax tap at 13:35 and it’s 2-2 with Becky/Bliss vs Charlotte/Bayley.

Jax mauls Becky, leaving Bliss to get big booted down for the elimination at 14:03. Becky fights back as fast as she can with the series of clotheslines into the leg lariat, followed by Bexplex. Bayley has to dive in for a save after a top rope legdrop before coming in for the slugout. Another Bexplex gets two but Bayley’s elbow to the back gets the same. You can tell Becky is getting tired out there so Bayley blocks the Disarm-Her and grabs the Bayley to Belly for the final pin at 17:53.

Rating: C+. The quick eliminations didn’t help things here but the ending was the right call. There was way too much talent on the Raw side to lose and I’m VERY glad it was Natalya, who can wrestle this style without having to dumb things down too much. Becky was pretty much all the blue team had for a lot of the match and she put up a valiant effort, only to be outgunned. That makes her look strong and Bayley getting a win like this is a good thing for her at this stage in her main roster career.

Charlotte takes Bayley out post match and beats her around ringside.

Smackdown mascot James Ellsworth runs into Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, who weren’t funny in 2016 either. They make some bad chin puns but Raw GM Mick Foley comes in to run them off. Ellsworth talks about all the great memories he has of Foley, most of which involve him being in extreme pain. Foley thanks him anyway and suggests Ellsworth move to Raw. He appreciates the offer but politely turns it down because he’s true blue. Foley leaves and Ellsworth runs into Braun Strowman, who asks if he knows Ellsworth. James runs in a smart move.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Miz is defending and Sami is trying to take the title to Raw. We get the Big Match Intros and Sami gets quite the reaction for being Canadian. Sami spins out of a wristlock to start and Miz looks annoyed in the corner. Miz gets sent outside but Sami has to bail out of the flip dive. The moonsault off the barricade works though, drawing over Maryse for a distraction. Well she can be quite distracting.

This one works well with Miz taking out the knee to get his first advantage. Some hard stomps to the knees have Sami in trouble but he’s still able to clothesline Miz to the floor. A flip dive works as well, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and it’s time for a double breather. The running corner dropkick/clothesline look to set up the ax handle but Sami reverses into the Blue Thunder Bomb.

The Helluva Kick only hits corner though and that means the Figure Four. This one stays on for a good while until Sami makes the ropes, earning himself some YES Kicks. Sami reverses one into a Figure Four of his own but Maryse rings the bell. Since Sami isn’t all that bright, he of course falls for it, only to have Miz roll him up to retain at 14:06.

Rating: C-. Kind of a dull match as you knew a lot of Sami’s near falls weren’t going anywhere. I can go for Miz and Maryse teaming up to steal wins though and it’s a big reason why he’s been an awesome Intercontinental Champion. This would also help play into Sami’s heel turn nearly a year later as he would get tired of losing while playing by the rules. Makes sense, especially in a long term form.

Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles are bickering over being teammates tonight when Shane McMahon comes in and tells them to cool it so Smackdown doesn’t lose again.

Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Teams

Raw: Enzo Amore/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson, New Day, Shining Stars

Smackdown: American Alpha, Breezango, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Hype Bros, Usos

A fall eliminates both members of a team. Enzo and Cass suck up to the live crowd, as you might expect. New Day and Slater/Rhyno are the respective champions. Fandango tries to give everyone a fashion ticket to start, earning himself a Midnight Hour for the elimination at 44 seconds. New Day spends too much time celebrating though and it’s a superkick from Jimmy to pin Big E. at 1:08.

Gallows comes in to punch Jimmy in the face before handing it off to Cass for the tall power. The fast tags continue as it’s off to Epico vs. Ryder (who is rocking some old school Survivor Series logo trunks) with Mojo coming in for a clap around the ears. Rawley gets taken down into the corner for the huge group beating though as we keep trying to get everyone in. It’s back to Ryder (not Slater like the fans want) but Gallows saves Anderson from the Broski Boot. Instead it’s the Magic Killer to pin Ryder at 5:08.

Gable comes in as Graves talks about how scared he is of American Alpha. It doesn’t seem to be the most valid fear to start though as Epico takes Gable down into a chinlock. Some rolling suplexes have Gable in more trouble and Primo comes in with a springboard ax handle to the ribs. He misses a charge in the corner though and it’s off to Jordan for a quick Steiner Bulldog to get rid of the Stars at 8:08.

The six remaining teams (Enzo/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson vs. American Alpha, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Usos) come in at once as everything breaks down. That means Enzo gets tossed over the top onto a big pile….which was mainly Raw guys but whatever. Rhyno gets thrown over the top as well, only to have Slater add an even bigger dive. Back in and Cesaro swings Jordan but Gable makes the save with a Rolling Chaos Theory.

Gable isn’t done though as Jordan throws him over the top for a HUGE flip dive onto everyone. Sweet goodness those two were awesome together. I mean, not as awesome as Jordan on his own with Kurt Angle kind of around but still. Back in and it’s a quick Magic Killer to get rid of Jordan at 10:39 as the eliminations are still flying. A spinebuster plants Slater and he’s caught in the wrong corner.

Sheamus won’t tag Cesaro (this was before their ridiculous matching outfits) and an argument breaks out, allowing the hot tag off to Rhyno as everyone bickers. Rhyno comes in and Gores Gallows for an elimination at 12:28. Cass wastes no time with a big boot to Rhyno, followed by the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka for the pin at 12:45.

That leaves us with the Usos….who superkick Enzo down to set up the Superfly Splash and an elimination at 13:26 before I can type the Raw teams. So now we’re down to the Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus with the latter hitting the ten forearms (you know the chant) on Jimmy. Cesaro comes in and eats a double superkick but Sheamus Brogue kicks Jimmy with Jey making a diving save.

Super White Noise plants Jimmy again but Jey is right back with a Superfly Splash for two with Cesaro making a save of his own. The hot tag brings in Cesaro for the Uppercut Train and a 619 as the fans lose their minds over Cesaro again. A high crossbody gets two on Jey and it’s time for the Swing. Jimmy breaks up the Sharpshooter and Jey gets the Tequila Sunrise. That’s reversed right back into the Sharpshooter with Sheamus remembering he’s in the match to cut off Jimmy, leaving Jey to tap at 18:55.

Rating: B. This was during the time that I couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro (not a lot has changed in a year) but they did a lot of stuff in this match, despite the crunched timeline. Getting nine eliminations in less than nineteen minutes is a lot but you have to clear the ring out at the beginning. It’s entertaining, but hits a hard ceiling that it’s not getting past.

Stephanie and Foley decide that Sheamus and Cesaro should get a Tag Team Title shot tomorrow night. They recap the rest of the show with Stephanie getting way too serious, as usual.

Preview for TLC with Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles in a TLC match for the title.

Cruiserweight Champion Brian Kendrick does his best Sean O’Haire impression and is ready for Kalisto. If Kalisto wins, he brings the division to Smackdown. It’s fine for a one off match but it was really hard to buy Kendrick as the best cruiserweight in the company in 2016.

Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick is defending and charges straight into a knee to the face. Kalisto is right back with a suicide dive, followed by a springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. Some rollups give Kalisto more near falls and a shotgun dropkick has Kendrick in even more trouble. A rollup into the corner finally gives Kendrick a breather and he crushes Kalisto between the steps and the apron for good measure.

Back in and we hit the cravate to slow things back down. Kalisto manages to fight up and get to the apron where he grabs a C4 out to the floor in the big crash of the match. A good looking suicide dive takes Kendrick down again but he reverses a super Salida Del Sol into the Captain’s Hook. Kalisto finally grabs the ropes and fires off some kicks, followed by the hurricanrana driver. The Salida Del Sol gets two with Kendrick getting to the ropes. Kalisto heads up top….and here’s Baron Corbin for the DQ at 12:21.

Rating: C-. The match was good at times but Kendrick really isn’t the kind of guy you want as a long term champion. It also didn’t help that you knew they weren’t changing up the cruiserweight division so close to 205 Live’s launch. Corbin interfering was fine enough, but it really does make the title match feel like a big waste of time.

The Kickoff Show panel recaps the show so far.

Daniel Bryan yells at Corbin, who doesn’t want little pests running around on Smackdown.

We recap the men’s Survivor Series match, which started in July at the second Brand Split. Naturally this is about the McMahons as Shane and Stephanie are the Commissioners and therefore they have to be fighting. We look at all the entrants as this is treated like the major match is should be treated as. Then Shane is added to the match and that notion kind of falls apart.

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Raw: Braun Strowman, Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns

Seth Rollins

Smackdown: AJ Styles, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Randy Orton, Shane McMahon

AJ and Owens are the World Champions, Reigns is US Champion and Ellsworth is here as the mascot. This is also during the period where Orton is part of the Wyatt Family because we needed that story to get to Orton as World Champion again. Rollins gets a nice reaction and it’s far better without BURN IT DOWN or whatever the line is. AJ and Owens start things off with Styles wasting no time in hitting the drop down into the dropkick.

That’s enough of that though as it’s and they slug it out with AJ getting the better of it. The STUPID IDIOT chants mean it’s time for Jericho, who throws his shirt at AJ and hammers away. Styles dropkicks him down again as the announcers discuss Jericho insulting Undertaker on Twitter. It’s off to Ambrose vs. Rollins, which turns into far more of a wrestling match than it should.

Rollins can’t get a Pedigree so let’s go back to Jericho. Chris yells at Dean for the $15,000 jacket issue, earning himself some really bad armdrags. An enziguri cuts Dean down for two but Ambrose is right back with a bunch of right hands to the head. Shane comes in for the first time and my interest goes down. I’m still not a fan of middle aged Shane and this isn’t likely to change things.

Shane’s bad punches and an armdrag (better than Dean’s) take Jericho down until a dropkick cuts him off. The announcers debate the TV ratings as Reigns comes in and gets booed out of the building. Roman hammers him down in the corner and Seth comes in for a chinlock. That’s broken up so let’s go with Dean vs. Kevin. Owens hits a superkick but gets caught in a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho break up Dirty Deeds.

Everything breaks down and Strowman tags himself in, leaving the fans to chant for Ellsworth. The fight heads outside with Dean being left alone in the ring until Strowman catches his slingshot dive. Strowman walks him around the ring until AJ’s slingshot forearm to the floor breaks it up. Owens dives onto everyone and Strowman tosses Shane across the ring in a pretty good power display.

Some double teaming doesn’t do much to stop Strowman but they manage to knock him outside. That’s enough of Dean and Ambrose working together so they get in a fight, allowing Strowman to hit the running powerslam for the pin on Dean at 15:57. AJ was looking right at the cover and didn’t move. Shane gets to beat on Strowman for a bit but thankfully he gets hammered down as well.

The Phenomenal Forearm is pulled out of the air with AJ being tossed outside in a nasty heap. Orton gets thrown aside too but a stare from Bray stops Strowman in his tracks. Strowman grabs Jericho by the throat but decides to run Bray over instead, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. Braun goes outside as well but runs into an RKO onto the announcers’ table. After we pause to see what a random eight year old fan thought of it (he was applauding), Shane drops the top rope elbow to put Strowman through said table. That and Ellsworth grabbing Braun’s foot get Strowman counted out at 21:18.

Strowman catches Ellsworth running up the ramp though (How slow is this guy?) and throws him off the stage through some tables. Everyone else is mostly dead until Jericho covers Shane for two. Owens is fresh enough to drop the backsplash on Shane for two (but only after mocking the dance). There’s the Lionsault but Shane gets two of his own off a small package.

Shane takes a Codebreaker but Orton comes in before the cover, meaning Shane survives another finisher. He avoids a top rope splash though and it’s off to AJ to work on Jericho. With Owens getting in an insult to AJ’s hair (too far man), Jericho counters the Styles Clash into a failed Walls attempt. The Phenomenal Blitz rocks Jericho but Owens comes in with the List of Jericho to blast AJ. That’s a DQ at 29:23, but not before he gives AJ a Pop Up Powerbomb.

Orton gets the tag and comes in with the RKO to get rid of Jericho at 30:19. Notice Reigns blankly staring up at the ramp and not hearing the RKO RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. So it’s down to Shane/AJ/Orton/Wyatt vs. Reigns/Rollins with Orton hammering on Rollins to start. Wyatt and Orton take turns on Seth as Shane is still laid on the apron after his long time in the ring. The superplex takes Rollins down (looks great too) but it allows the hot tag to Reigns. AJ comes in as well and MY GOODNESS the fans do not like Reigns.

House is cleaned with a series of Samoan drops, followed by a great looking Razor’s Edge powerbomb for two on AJ. Seriously that was good enough to cut off the booing. A Pele cuts off a Superman Punch and it’s back to Shane for no logical reason. Shane gets in a tornado DDT to drop Reigns and a clothesline takes Rollins down. Reigns tries a spear but gets awkwardly countered into the post.

In probably the spot of the match, Shane loads up Coast to Coast but gets speared out of the air for a SICK landing. Shane actually kicks out at two but you can see that he is completely gone. Like Lesnar after the botched shooting star gone. The referee says Shane is eliminated at 37:07, presumably due to his brains looking like a pie that has been run over by a bus driven by raccoons.

We pause for a bit as doctors get Shane out of the ring until Roman blasts Bray with a clothesline. Rollins and AJ get stereo hot tags with Seth’s Blockbuster putting Styles down. There’s the slingshot knee to AJ and a suicide dive to Wyatt. With Reigns down on the floor, let’s hit that ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant! Still one of my favorites because the fans just will not give him a break no matter what. An enziguri staggers AJ on top and now it’s WAKE UP ROMAN. Reigns does in fact wake up and saves Rollins from a hanging DDT on the floor.

With Orton down, it seems as good a time as any for a DoubleBomb. Styles makes a save before it can be loaded up but here’s Ambrose to jump Styles again. The fans call Dean a STUPID IDIOT as the former Shield beats up security. NOW the TripleBomb puts AJ through the table, allowing Rollins to get the pin at 47:00. It’s down to two on two with the Wyatts vs. the Shield (not the worst idea in the world)….and here’s Luke Harper for a distraction so the Wyatts can take over.

Reigns posts Orton but Harper superkicks him down, only to have Rollins score with a flip dive to the floor. Back in and the low superkick hits Wyatt but he dives into an RKO, giving Bray the pin at 49:25. Reigns, all alone, sends both of them outside and takes Harper out as a bonus. Back in and Orton eats a spear to save Wyatt, leaving Bray to grab Sister Abigail for the pin at 52:50.

Rating: A. This is a great example of a match that benefits from all of the time it had. What I loved about this was how long it took to take someone out. Most of the people in here were former World Champions and it doesn’t make sense to have them losing in a minute or two like in the other matches. They let the match build up for a change and that’s what makes this feel important.

Above all else though, this felt like someone surviving instead of whoever was left last. Look at the women’s match. Bayley barely looked like she had been through anything at the end. Orton and Wyatt looked banged up, which is how they should after a match like this. It’s a well put together match that got the kind of time it needed, which is exactly how something like this should be. Really strong stuff here with Bray, who actually needed it, getting the win.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was being interviewed about being in WWE2K16 and said he didn’t owe Lesnar a rematch. Lesnar challenged him though and Goldberg wanted his son to see him wrestle. The match was on and it does indeed feel like a battle of two people who could kill each other.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

We get the full Goldberg entrance, complete with someone knocking on his door. Lesnar drives him into the corner to start but Goldberg shoves him right back down, scaring the heck out of Lesnar in the process. Back up and the spear connects to drop Lesnar again. There’s a second spear, followed by a Jackhammer to give Goldberg the huge upset at 1:25.

Yeah I still don’t like it. Sure it was shocking and a huge moment, but what did this set up? Goldberg eliminating Lesnar from the Rumble, Goldberg getting the most unnecessary Universal Title reign ever, and then a good sub five minute match at Wrestlemania. One of WWE’s biggest issues is giving fans something to cheer for and they give this spot to Goldberg, who they didn’t even create, for the sake of a video game (might not have been their call) and a story that could have made someone’s career. After this, Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman both fell to Lesnar, but Goldberg doesn’t. I don’t buy it, nor to I like it.

Goldberg celebrates with his family to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. One of the major perks about a match running nearly an hour on a three and a half hour show is that it can REALLY bring an overall rating up. Throw in a good women’s match and nothing really bad, this is actually a strong show. It’s far from perfect (main event aside, though that was the only thing that could have closed the show) but it’s a heck of a card, which I can always go for of course. The main issue is they could have gotten this one under three hours so it’s a bit long but nothing too bad. Really solid show though and most of that is due to the mega long match.

Ratings Comparison

Rich Swann/Noam Dar/TJ Perkins vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Luke Harper

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Women’s Survivor Series Match

Original: C

Redo: C+

Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Tag Team Survivor Series Match

Original: D+

Redo: B

Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Original: C

Redo: C-

Men’s Survivor Series Match

Original: A-

Redo: A

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B+

My eyebrows went up when I saw the original overall rating. The year of mellowing on the ending have helped a lot as there’s no way this is a B-. Also I really couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/11/20/survivor-series-2016-there-are-no-words/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Bad Blood and thank goodness for that. Hopefully it means we’re done with Kevin Nash as a main event star though stranger things have happened. Since Smackdown will have its own brand exclusive show in September, we’re on the road to Summerslam in just over two months. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mick Foley (who promised to go back to his boring life after last night) to open things up and, shockingly enough, he’s carrying a book. Foley thanks the fans for their support and talks about returning to his normal life on June 16, which happens to be today. However, he wanted one more chance to be inside a WWE ring, though he’ll be here next week in Madison Square Garden as well. We hit the cheap plug for Tietam Brown (which I have on my bookshelf) before Foley talks about putting the Mandible Claw on HHH last night.

That made him remember who he is….but here’s Evolution, now with music (albeit not their best known song). Orton calls Foley a loser and puts over his teammates’ accomplishments from last night. As for tonight though, it’s time for Evolution to find a fourth member and Foley could be up for that spot. Foley isn’t interested in being a Four Horseman wannabe and hanging out with a sixteen year old with no idea what to do with all this testosterone. He rips into Orton for all those injuries so early in his career because he’s never shown the heart that you need to be a star in this business.

Orton says these people are here to see him because he doesn’t have to do things the way Foley did. Randy shows off the physique but Foley tells him to take his best shot. Foley gets physical for a bit but the numbers eventually get the better of him. Of all people, Maven and Al Snow run in for the save. Thankfully I don’t think this is setting up a six man tag but it was a heck of a segment with Foley selling emotion and planting some seeds for a match with Orton later on.

Eric Bischoff yells at Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, threatening to knock the latter’s dentures out. Mae is going to have a match tonight as punishment for the pie incident last night.

Gail Kim is coming.

Dudley Boyz/Ivory vs. Rodney Mack/Jazz/Christopher Nowinski

The good ones clear the ring to start with Bubba throwing Ivory over the top onto Jazz. Bubba has to fight out of the corner but an elbow hits Nowinski’s mask and Mack takes over. The Bubba Bomb cuts Nowinski off though and everything breaks down in a hurry. Jazz gets shoved down and there’s a double flapjack to Nowinski. Ivory goes up top to play D-Von in What’s Up and Nowinski eats 3D. A rollup gives Ivory another pin on Jazz.

Rating: D+. How many times does Ivory get to pin Jazz before we get Jazz beating her in the title match because even WWE isn’t stupid enough to put the title on Ivory? I really could go for getting that over with and getting on to some fresh talent. Gail Kim would help a lot, assuming they don’t just add her to the rotating cast of uninteresting characters.

You can vote on who will be added to Evolution. Test is an option.

Kane and Rob Van Dam have a rematch for the Tag Team Titles but Kane isn’t thrilled. See, it was Rob’s fault last week so if they lose tonight, they’re done as a team.

Music video on Bad Blood.

Foley, Maven and Snow (in a Hurricane shirt) are annoyed at Evolution. Maven has Orton tonight and Foley will be out there with him.

Evolution is watching the next match to scout talent.

Garrison Cade vs. Lance Storm

What did I do to deserve this? Also, they couldn’t call him, I don’t know, George Cade? Or ANYTHING but Garrison? Maybe Mackey Cade? Before the match, Austin comes out and says BORING over and over while laying down on the stage with a pillow and blanket. He’s tried watching the grass grow and watched the paint dry but maybe this could put him to sleep. The camera stays on Austin as he hammers away, only to get dropkicked by Cade. Austin leads the BORING chants and Lance comes back with a leg lariat for two.

We hit an armbar as Austin is starting to snore. He’s having a dream where Storm is wrestling….which means it’s a nightmare. Now he’s waking up and he realizes it’s not a dream. He says everyone is asleep and the distraction lets Cade grab a rollup for the fast pin. Someone is going to have to explain this Austin making fun of/ripping on the wrestlers thing to me as we had Kane a few weeks back and now this. How does this help anyone? I mean, Austin doesn’t exactly get anything out of it either but it’s twice now that he’s treated another wrestler like garbage. It’s not like they have the talent to spare at the moment either.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Goldberg/Booker T.

Booker goes after the Canadians before Goldberg comes out but thankfully he doesn’t waste time with the full entrance. I’d have gotten a good laugh if he had though but thankfully sanity prevailed. Jericho is sent outside in a heap and we take a break before the bell. We’re joined in progress with Jericho bailing out to avoid the legal Goldberg. A thumb to Goldberg’s eye slows him down but he’s right back with a neckbreaker.

Goldberg clotheslines both of them as this is basically dominance whenever Goldberg is in. Booker comes in for a kick to the face and some chops against the ropes. Some cheap shots from the apron has Booker in trouble though as Evolution’s scouting continues. Things slow down with a chinlock but the twisting rollup out of the corner gets….countered into a failed Walls attempt. Booker kicks him away and makes the tag to Goldberg, which really doesn’t get much of a reaction.

A very delayed gorilla press powerslam gets the fans back but Christian breaks it up at two. Christian saves Jericho from the spear so it’s back to Booker as everything seems ready to break down but doesn’t quite get there. Instead Booker has to dropkick Christian out of the air, only to get caught with the Lionsault. Now the spear connects, only to bang up Goldberg’s bad shoulder. Christian brings in the Intercontinental Title, which Booker takes away and uses to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: B-. Nice main event style tag match here, which was a lot more than I was expecting. Goldberg looked like a killing machine here and Booker looked fine, though it’s not the best use of your Intercontinental Champion. Would it have been the worst thing in the world to have Jericho lose here? Or to have Goldberg do what the fans want to see him do and just break a few people? Good match though.

Long recap of the pie eating segment from last night.

Mae Young vs. Test

An angry Bischoff is out for ring announcing. And no match of course as Austin comes out to make Scott Steiner guest referee (JR: “FINALLY SOME FAIRNESS HERE!” No JR, no that’s still not fairness.), only to have Test give Mae a pumphandle slam before Steiner can come out to even things up. I still never need to see the pie thing again and Moolah/Mae being used for anything other than bad comedy would be in the same category.

Rico is in the back for his match and now he’s even more over the top, with moisturizer and sparkle glitter (his words) along with Miss Jackie (Gayda), which is quite the upgrade as I was always a fan.

After that debut (complete with “IT’S RAINING RICO!”), let’s look at Mae being destroyed again.

Austin wants to see Van Dam and Kane.

Rico vs. Spike Dudley

Rico takes him down with a few kicks and a neckbreaker gets two. Some stomps in the corner have Spike in more trouble as the announcers talk about anything other than this new gimmick. We hit a seated full nelson to keep Spike in trouble, followed by a middle rope ax handle for more of the same. The BORING chants begin (Who could have guessed that would have caught on from earlier?) as JR and King try to figure out if Rico and Jackie are dating. Spike is put on top but bites Rico’s head, setting up a double stomp to the ribs. Jackie offers a distraction though and Rico finishes with a spinning kick.

Rating: D-. Yeah this isn’t the biggest surprise but this gimmick is dead in the water. It’s WWE’s version of being funny when Rico has the potential to be a heck of a star on his own. But instead we’ll go with the stupid jokes because that’s what got Rico over so hard in the first place. Bad match and a bad sign for Rico as well.

Austin yells at Van Dam and Kane, saying DO IT FOR AMERICA.

Maven vs. Randy Orton

Foley and Flair are at ringside. Orton easily takes him down to start as JR thinks Randy could be a star with a slight attitude adjustment. That’s more accurate than he could have known. Maven gets in a dropkick to put Orton on the floor but the hanging DDT gives Orton two. A hard whip into the corner has Maven in more trouble and a northern lights suplex gets two.

Maven fights out of a chinlock as Lawler accuses Foley of ripping him off for some illustrations in a book. JR completely ignores that to talk about Van Dam and Kane, making me think there’s a coverup. Orton’s dropkick gets two but Maven avoids a charge in the corner. A middle rope bulldog gives Maven two as Foley gives Flair Mr. Socko. Maven gets two more off a high crossbody but the RKO (so weird to have it get no reaction) puts him away.

Rating: D. Not terrible and better than the boss yelling about a match being boring but there’s a reason that Maven wasn’t around very often. It’s understandable when you consider he was only a few years into the business at this point but he never really got much better. You can see Orton’s potential shining here though and a lot of his signature stuff is starting to pick up.

Foley tries to start a post match fight but the villains run.

Test, Jericho and Kane win the fan vote about who will be in Evolution.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

La Resistance is defending after winning the titles last night. Kane throws Rene Dupree around to start and choke drops Sylvan Grenier for a bonus. The champs are sent outside and Rob hits a running dive (which seemed like it was supposed to include a flip) to take them both down again.

Back from a break with Van Dam in trouble and Rene grabbing a chinlock. JR stays on his rants against France, including the classic “if you don’t like America, get out”. Grenier comes in for a bow and arrow hold until Rob fights up for the hot tag off to Kane. The top rope clothesline misses though, which Lawler thinks is impressive. Kane chokes Grenier in the air for a top rope kick to the face in a spot that was cooler than I thought it would have been.

Things settle back down with Van Dam scoring two off a dropkick. Rene is back in with a Death Valley Driver but now the top rope clothesline connects. A thumb to the eye cuts Kane off though and the double spinebuster plants him on the floor. Back in and the double spinebuster is countered with a double DDT (didn’t look good and wasn’t clear until the champs stayed down) for two. Rob goes up but gets shoved onto Kane, who chairs Rene in the head for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not terrible but WAY too long as it felt like it should have ended five minutes earlier. Kane snapping again is interesting, though I could have gone for more of Kane and Van Dam as a team. At least we have some new champs who have proven they can beat the old champs, though it’s still not the most thrilling stuff in the world.

Post match Kane destroys La Resistance with chair shots and a chokeslam….so here’s HHH. The champ says he respects Kane, unlike Van Dam. Right here tonight, HHH is offering Kane a spot in Evolution. As HHH gives his sales pitch, here’s Austin to interrupt. HHH and Austin bicker a bit until Austin gives Kane a title shot next week in Madison Square Garden. This brings out Bischoff to say if Kane loses, he loses the mask. Kane chokeslams HHH to accept the match.

Overall Rating: D. You know it really is amazing how much easier this was to sit through without having to deal with Kevin Nash. Kane isn’t a great opponent but at least he can move around and the fans might buy him as a threat to win the title. Unfortunately there’s not much else to cheer for on this show, save for the good tag match in the middle. When you have Austin yelling about how boring Storm is, you can only get the show so far. Evolution is starting to have some potential though, which is a good sign as it’s likely going to be the biggest story on the show for a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Bad Blood 2003
Date: June 15, 2003
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first single brand pay per view and the question is can WWE manage to come up with ANYTHING better than what they’ve been doing on TV. They’ve basically punted on Kevin Nash as a main eventer, bringing in Mick Foley with the hopes that he and the Cell can save interest in the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the three top stories: the main event, Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho and the Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff. That’s the top of their card, with Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels not getting any significant attention.

Dudley Boyz vs. Christopher Nowinski/Rodney Mack

Earlier tonight, Nowinski asked D-Von why the white brother was always the one saying get the tables. D-Von thought about it because 2003 is a year of bad storylines. Mack hammers on D-Von to start and the fans already want tables. Bubba comes in for some right hands to Chris’ ribs, which makes sense instead of hitting him in the metal face guard. He will however slam the back of Nowinski’s head into the mat though and the Dudleys clear the ring without too much effort.

Back in and Mack trips D-Von down for a crotching against the post. We hit a chinlock for a bit until Nowinski drops a knee for two. A middle rope elbow misses though and the hot tag brings in Bubba to clean house. Everything breaks down and Nowinski misses a mask shot. Mack can’t get the Black Out so it’s What’s Up and a table request but D-Von has second thoughts. The distraction lets Nowinski hit Bubba with the mask for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a TV match here and that’s not a good sign. The last few weeks have shown how uninteresting most of the feuds have been and this one being thrown together on the last Raw didn’t help things. The team has only been back together about eight months and we’ve seen how lame they were apart so teasing another split or even issues isn’t a good sign.

The announcers recap the pie eating contest of the Redneck Triathlon.

Now we see the pie eating being set up on Raw.

Earlier tonight, Bischoff and Austin spun the wheel to pick a burping contest.

And now, the burping contest, held in the back. They each get three burps and Austin is doing jumping jacks. Bischoff goes first and is outclassed by Austin and his canned burp. Round two is the same thing and so is the third as Austin wins as I’m sure the live audience is so happy they paid to watch this on a screen. Total time spent on this so far: 4:13 (minus recaps and announcers talking about it).

Test vs. Scott Steiner

The winner gets Stacy Keibler as manager. Test can’t even manage to jump Steiner as he’s watching Stacy get into the ring and it’s Scott taking over inside. They head outside again with Test sending him into the steps, earning a YOU SUCK chant as lead by Stacy. Back in and Test mocks the pushups, followed by a sleeper. The first belly to belly sends Test hovering (wasn’t quite flying) and the backdrop/powerslam gets two. Steiner’s reverse DDT gets the same but Test is right back with a pumphandle powerslam.

Stacy gets on the apron and accidentally distracts Steiner into a big boot. That’s only two as well because we just get to keep going. King: “Stacy was almost orgasmic when Steiner kicked out!” JR: “WHAT???” Test goes for a chair but shoves Stacy down first. Back in and Test’s chair shot hits the rope and bounces back onto his own head, setting up the Downward Spiral to give Steiner the pin.

Rating: D. The TV matches continue but this time we had a bad story to go with it. Well that and Lawler sounding like an annoying twelve year old, as was his custom. Neither guy is over with the crowd and the real star is Stacy, who isn’t exactly a driving force in the company these days. This was another match that didn’t need to be on pay per view.

Austin and Bischoff are in front of a tractor and talk about the pie eating. Bischoff has some women ready to assist him and they’re all rather good looking. They agree that Bischoff gets to go first but Austin gets to pick the flavor of pie. Can we just get to the sight gag already?

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Booker T.

Christian is defending after screwing Booker, the hometown boy, out of the title in a battle royal last month. An armdrag only seems to annoy Booker, who claps the fans back to life. Booker grabs a headlock to take him down as Lawler wonders if there will be leftovers in the pie eating contest. Christian charges into a spinebuster for the first two but he gets Booker outside for a shot into the steps.

As you might expect, we hit the chinlock for a bit as the crowd dies again. Back up and Christian dives into a flapjack, followed by a stun gun. Booker grabs Christian’s reverse DDT for two, followed by Christian getting the same off a Bookend. The threat of an ax kick sends Christian outside so he can try for an intentional countout. That’s fine with the referee, who says if Christian gets counted out, he’ll forfeit the title. Christian comes back in and hits Booker with the belt for the DQ instead.

Rating: D+. Bad finish aside, it’s easily the match of the night, mainly due to the talent involved actually being people worth watching. However, it doesn’t help that we’re three matches and forty minutes in and we haven’t exactly had anything pay per view worthy to cheer for. The Dudleys win a lot of nothing tag matches and Steiner getting Stacy is hardly important. Now we have this feud continuing for another month or so. Booker winning the title would have given the crowd gets another disappointment instead.

It’s time for part two of the Redneck Triathlon with this event taking place in the ring. Bischoff is rather smug about the pie he’ll be having but Austin brings up Bischoff saying he liked mature women. The four women in the back show up on screen but instead Austin brings out Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young. Lawler: “WE SAID PIE! NOT CHEESECAKE!” This is hardly funny nor the biggest surprise in the world but it was the only option they were going to go with here, other than someone in drag or Rikishi.

Bischoff refuses so Austin declares himself the winner, which isn’t cool with Eric. Mae kisses him, which isn’t enough for Austin. Instead it’s a low blow and a Bronco Buster, but only after Mae pulls off her skirt to reveal a thong. Bischoff says it’s Austin’s turn but he has to warm up first….and then he Stuns Mae and forfeits. Beer is consumed as this is somehow an even bigger waste of time than I was expecting it to be. Total time spent on the Triathlon tonight: 15:46 (not counting backstage segments).

Gail Kim is coming, which just reminds me that we can’t get a Women’s Title match on the card tonight because we needed that mess.

We recap Kane not helping Rob Van Dam on Raw.

La Resistance insults Texas.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

Van Dam and Kane are defending. Rob and Rene start things off with a headlock having the Frenchman in trouble. An interruption of the finger poke earns Dupree a spinning kick to the face and a crossbody for an early two. Evil French cheating lets Dupree get in a DDT for two and Rob is in trouble. Rob kicks his way to freedom (that’s AMERICAN freedom) and it’s off to Kane to clean house.

A choke drop to Dupree and a side slam on Grenier are good for two, followed by the top rope clothesline for the same. With Rob watching on, a neckbreaker/clothesline combination gets two on Kane. Since that’s a lame finisher, Kane is right back up and launching Rob off the top for the kick to Dupree’s chest. Rob’s big flip dive hits everyone but only Kane gets knocked down. Back in and the double spinebuster gives La Resistance the titles.

Rating: D. Much like earlier, this could have been on any given episode of Raw, which is a major problem on this show. The French guys are as generic of a team as any but it’s better than having Lance Storm and Chief Morely thrown together and boring the heck out of everyone. Van Dam and Kane had a longer shelf life but they were losing the belts to someone like La Resistance eventually so just doing it here is acceptable enough. It might have been better if La Resistance had been built up a bit better, but who were they supposed to beat to do that?

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Goldberg. Jericho tried to have Goldberg run over due to jealousy over Goldberg’s success in WCW. Goldberg found out, meaning it’s time for Jericho to die. Chris made it even worse by ruining Goldberg’s car and spearing him, because I guess he doesn’t mind extreme pain.

Chris Jericho vs. Goldberg

A lockup has Jericho in trouble as they fall outside in a hurry. Back in and a World’s Strongest Slam plants Chris but he gets in a few shots in the corner. That’s fine with Goldberg, who gorilla press crotches him on the top instead. They head outside again with the spear going through the barricade to give Jericho his best chance. Goldberg’s shoulder is banged up so Jericho is smart enough to send it into the post. Back in and Goldberg, who is bleeding from the forehead, has his arm wrapped around the ropes. A DDT on the arm sets up a Fujiwara armbar but Goldberg pops up without too much effort.

Since the arm isn’t working, a superkick drops Jericho, who comes right back with another arm takedown. The Lionsault gets two (as always) and a weaker than usual spear puts Jericho down. The referee gets poked in the eye though and a low blow takes Goldberg down. Jericho grabs the Walls but Goldberg powers out, setting up a spear with the good shoulder. The Jackhammer ends Jericho as we finally have a match break ten minutes.

Rating: C+. Match of the night by a mile or two and it’s not even anything great. They were pretty much copying Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page from Halloween Havoc 1998 (nothing wrong with that) but there’s only so much you can do when Page had one home run move with the Diamond Cutter and Jericho only has the Lionsault. It’s a good match though, and that’s what this show needed, desperately.

There’s a pig pen set up for the last part of the Triathlon.

They spin the wheel again….and it’s a Sing Off. Austin knows he’s in trouble and Bischoff gloats.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair, which is easily the best thing going over the last few weeks. Shawn has been trying to convince Flair that he’s still great because Shawn grew up idolizing him. Flair seemed to buy into it and gave HHH a good match, only to turn on Shawn again and set up this match. The promos have been outstanding and if they do the match the justice it deserves, it could be excellent.

Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair

They strut it out to start until Shawn takes him down and walks over Flair’s back. A good slap puts Flair down again and a clothesline puts him on the floor for a dive. Back in and Shawn chops away, followed by some right hands in the corner. The referee tries to get Shawn off of him, allowing Ric to score with a chop block and take over. We’re already off to the Figure Four and Shawn is in trouble, though I don’t think many people are actually worried.

Shawn makes the rope so Flair shoves the referee, earning a stern lecture. An enziguri gives Shawn a breather but he gets elbowed in the jaw. Flair gets slammed off the top so Shawn tries the Figure Four, only to get a finger in the eye. Ric goes up again but gets clotheslined out of the air to give Shawn another opening. The crowd is oddly silent here, which might be due to the fact that they’re only ten minutes into the match. A superplex brings Flair down and….let’s get the most unnecessary table in recent memory.

Shawn puts Flair on the table but has to drop an interfering Randy Orton. That’s enough for the top rope splash through the table and both guys are down. Back in and Flair kicks both Shawn and the referee low at the same time. Shawn hits the forearm and top rope elbow sets up Sweet Chin Music, only to have Orton chair him in the head. Flair is pulled on top for the easy pin.

Rating: B-. They were getting there but the table felt so far out of left field. It’s completely fine to make this about Orton but having him run in with the chair instead of getting taken down before the table spot made him look like a bumbling lackey at first. The other problem is you can only get so much out of a match that’s just over fourteen minutes long and had a lot spent on the table stuff and interference. Still good though.

Ad for Freddie Blassie’s book.

It’s time for the final part of the Triathlon. Bischoff goes first and lip syncs his theme song until Austin comes on screen and calls him out for it. Therefore Bischoff has to sing it himself and of course it’s awful. Since that’s basically a loss and Austin can’t do any better, we’ll spin the wheel again. Austin stops it on Pig Pen Fun and thank goodness we already have a pen set up. Since Austin is still in the back, the fans are deputized to keep Bischoff in the arena. Bischoff: “I un-deputize every one of you!”

A fan throws Bischoff back to ringside and here’s Austin to punch Bischoff out. Austin takes him into the ring for a beating and a Stunner. Bischoff is taken up to the stage and thrown into the pen so beer can be consumed. Total time spent on the Triathlon: 25:49, not counting all the backstage stuff which probably brings it over thirty minutes. That’s more than twice what Flair vs. Michaels got, which really doesn’t instill me with confidence.

They could have done these three things maybe in ten minutes total but they stretched it out WAY longer than it needed to be. What did this accomplish anyway? Austin humiliates Bischoff and they still don’t get along? We established that the second they were on screen together and have reminded us of it every time since. This wasn’t particularly funny and just kept going, making a show that wasn’t good in the first place even worse.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap HHH vs. Kevin Nash, which is still going for reasons of it’s the Kliq, who we were all just begging to see again. Nash beat the heck out of HHH at the last pay per view so we’re having a rematch in the Cell with Mick Foley as referee to try and salvage some interest. Nash just is not working in the main event and even WWE seems to know it by this point (he was barely on Raw while HHH and Foley carried the build) so hopefully this gets rid of him once and for all.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kevin Nash

Inside the Cell. Nash is challenging and scores with a big boot to put HHH on the floor to start. That’s a little too intense for Nash though and he takes him back inside for some right hands. Now that’s more Nash’s speed. Nash shoves HHH into Foley as JR says not many people can beat Nash in a straight up fist fight. I’m not sure I’d buy him being able to beat either people in the ring with him in a fight but that’s just me. A big whip sends HHH into the Cell wall and Nash gets two off a side slam.

Nash goes with some chair shots as Lawler wonders why there’s a chair inside the Cell. They head outside again with Nash moving a cameraman out of the way. The cameraman actually says “oh pardon me”, making him the most polite wrestling employee I’ve ever heard. HHH goes into the steps before Nash throws them at his head. They only hit the wall but at least it sounded good.

HHH finally gets in some right hands for a breather before pulling out…..a hammer, which he uses to hit Nash in the knee. Now normally that would probably break something, but Nash is a manly man. A hammer shot TO THE HEAD puts Nash down long enough for Foley to get in a shoving match with HHH. Nash is busted open but alive, which is more than most would have from being HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER.

The steps are thrown in again but HHH comes back with a wooden crate to the face for the stop. HHH finds the sledgehammer, which Foley takes it away. That rightfully earns him a shot to the head (Foley had no business interfering there) but Nash grabs a drop toehold to send HHH into the steps. A kick to the leg cuts Nash down again and HHH chairs them both in the head.

The bloody Foley pulls out Mr. Socko, which is broken up by a low blow. Nash accidentally hits them both with the steps so there’s no count, only to have HHH ram Nash into Foley into the wall (for the expected great bump). The Jackknife gets two but Nash can’t follow up. A sledgehammer to the head sets up the Pedigree to retain HHH’s title.

Rating: C-. Really, it’s not even terrible. The Cell didn’t need to be there as this could have been a street fight but that doesn’t sell as many pay per views (nothing wrong with that line of thinking). The problem here though is Nash could have shot HHH in the chest and not pinned him here and that was obvious from the start. It could have been much worse but that’s not enough to validate two months of completely uninteresting build to get here. It’s far from the worst Cell match ever (those shows from the last few years had some awful ten minute Cell matches) but it’s one of the least interesting and that to me is worse.

We’re off the air after two hours and thirty two minutes for one of the earliest endings in company history.

Overall Rating: D-. It’s a really, really bad show but it’s far from the worst show ever or even close to it. The short run time, the fact that they had that short run time with half an hour dedicated to one comedy gag and the complete lack of anything worthwhile in the first hour or so make this much more unnecessary than anything else. This EASILY could have been chopped down to a two hour show (or expanded to a decent time by letting Shawn vs. Flair go 20+ minutes) but as it was, it really didn’t work.

That being said, there are some good points to it, with the main event being far better than I was expecting. I would even go so far as likening it to a trip to the dentist (“There now. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”) but that’s about as high a level of praise as I can go. Shawn vs. Flair was good too and the ending actually accomplished something, but my goodness it was rough getting there. The Triathlon stuff was brutal and the first three or four matches belonged on Raw at best. Simply put, this didn’t need to be either three hours or brand exclusive and they weren’t ready for that combination.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, John Cena, Chris Benoit, Hardcore Holly, Bradshaw

Brock Lesnar, A-Train, Matt Morgan, Big Show, Nathan Jones

Lesnar misses a charge at Benoit and hits the post so Benoit goes right after the arm. The F5 is quickly countered into the Crossface and Cena is smart enough to knock Show off the apron but Brock gets his feet into the ropes. Another Crossface actually makes Lesnar tap clean, leaving Big Show alone 2-1. The YOU TAPPED OUT chants begin and Benoit takes Show down with a top rope shoulder. The Crossface is knocked away but Cena nails Show with the chain, setting up the FU for the pin and the victory, planting seeds for Wrestlemania in the process.

Benoit and Cena shake hands after having issues for weeks.

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Back to the arena with Kane throwing him against the other ambulance. JR: “Like Shane was a cruiserweight.” Shane probably would be a cruiserweight actually, or at least really close. An ambulance door to the face slows Kane down (When all else fails, hit them with a door. It got Christian the Hardcore Title at Wrestlemania XVIII.) but he just blasts Shane in the face. He can only get one door shut with Shane inside though, allowing McMahon to come back with a DDT on the concrete.

The ambulance leaves with Shane inside.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Lawler and JR preview the elimination tag and tell us that Shane is getting ready for a CAT scan.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T., Dudley Boyz

Bischoff: Chris Jericho, Christian, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

Back to Bubba who cleans house on all three until Jericho breaks up a Bubba Bomb with a low blow, setting up an Unprettier to leave Shawn down 3-1. Christian is up first and Shawn hammers away with right hands, only to be low bridged out to the floor by the other Canadian. The slow beatdown begins and Jericho cuts off the comeback again, allowing Christian to catapult him into the post. JR gets in his “local basketball team here” dribbling a ball line. Shawn is busted and you know the shaky legs are coming soon.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Undertaker finally carries him to the grave but a low blow FINALLY gives Vince a breather and his first offense. A shovel to the chest puts Undertaker in the grave but he comes right back and throws Vince in instead. He goes to get in the bulldozer but the cab explodes. Cue Kane to knock Undertaker into the grave. Vince is sent to the bulldozer and Undertaker is buried.

Raw World Title Goldberg vs. HHH

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2012 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C+

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

One step down every year.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/09/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2003-austins-retiring-forever-and-doesnt-close-the-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 2, 2003
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re less than two weeks away from Bad Blood and things are looking more and more dismal every single week. Things just aren’t interesting around here and there’s no reason to suggest that’s going to change. The big story continues to be Kevin Nash vs. HHH for the World Title and that’s what we’re stuck with no matter what. Let’s get to it.

Rock, here for the Highlight Reel, arrives and talks about being here for the people, turning himself face again. Since the fans never wanted to boo him in the first place, it’s not the most difficult turn in the world.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Ivory/Jacqueline vs. Jazz/Victoria/Molly Holly

Molly still has a job? It’s a good thing she does as the dark hair is quite the look for her. It’s a brawl to start with Victoria forearming Trish and choking her up against the rope. The Matrish causes Victoria to clothesline Molly by mistake and Ivory dives onto Molly and Victoria in a big crash.

The double chickenwing faceplant drops Trish again though and we hit a camel clutch/Boston crab combo for a heck of a visual. King: “That was arousing.” Trish grabs a neckbreaker on Jazz and brings Jackie in to no reaction at all. Ivory comes back in with a high crossbody for two on Jazz as everything breaks down. An X-Factor gives Ivory the pin on Jazz.

Rating: D+. They were trying here but they couldn’t get over the complete lack of interest from the crowd. Jackie and Ivory haven’t been interesting in the better part of ever and throwing them into the title hunt isn’t going to do anything. They need someone new in a hurry as Trish, Victoria and Jazz have been done to death at this point.

Goldberg arrives.

JR has a cookbook. It’s title: JR’s Cookbook. You can vote on WWE.com if you think it’s going to be a best seller or a flop.

Stacy Keibler finally dumps Test but they’re contractually obligated to stay together. Does anyone really buy Test saying “contractually obligated” in day to day talking?

Hurricane comes out for a match but Randy Orton jumps him from behind. Cue HHH and Ric Flair as Orton throws Hurricane through the entrance. Flair is honored that he was Shawn’s boyhood hero but Flair has seen hundreds of Shawn’s come and go. Flair takes off the jacket and rants about how Shawn hasn’t spent $30 million, made love to 3,000 women and wrestled 350 matches a year. To be the man you have to beat the man and HHH beat the man. Uh, didn’t HHH beat Shawn to win that title?

Anyway Flair lays down and prostrates himself in front of HHH before saying HHH makes women scream very loudly. After HHH beats Nash down, Flair is going to take care of Shawn (So HHH won’t be main eventing?) and they’re getting in a limousine full of women. Cue Shawn to say he owes a lot to Flair but he’s not the little boy sitting in front of the TV watching Flair every week.

Shawn has wrestled 300 nights a year (Flair said 350) and doesn’t need to brag about women. His wrestling does the talking and he took the torch from Flair. When Ric realized he couldn’t make it here, Shawn took the title and showed the world that he was the standard in wrestling.

There’s so much wrong with that timeline that I’m not even going to bother explaining it so we’ll move on to Shawn being awesome in the ring. Flair freaks out again as Shawn promises to take him to school at Bad Blood. HHH wants to fight right now but here’s Nash to even the odds a bit. Hurricane sneaks in and hits Orton with a chair so the good guys can stand tall. Flair and Shawn’s stuff was outstanding here and the other stuff was nowhere near bad enough to drag it down.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Steiner has Stacy with him but Richards doesn’t have Victoria. Test comes out as well and the distraction lets Richards get in a cheap shot from behind. Scott slugs away in the corner and there’s a belly to belly. The Flatliner ends Richards in short order.

Post match Eric Bischoff comes out and makes Test vs. Steiner for Stacy’s managerial services at Bad Blood. So Bischoff’s rulings can override contracts? Why do I have a feeling that’s not going to be used again when Bischoff would benefit from it?

We get some breaking news that Freddie Blassie has passed away.

The bosses are in their office and Austin makes Evolution vs. Michaels/Nash/Hurricane for tonight’s main event. As for Bad Blood, they agree to a Redneck Triathlon.

Goldberg is in the back for an interview but we see Jericho throwing paint on the car. That’s on Goldberg for leaving it out in the open like that. Goldberg runs out, gets in the car (which was already running) and gives chase.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Christian guest hosting. Therefore, tonight is the Peep Show and the first guest is the Rock. We get the full entrance and Rock loads up FINALLY but Christian cuts him off and does it himself. Christian says he’s the new people’s champion and on fire. Rock: “YOU ARE ON CRACK!” Rock doesn’t want to hear that and says Christian’s daddy is a ho. Christian: “He’s a pediatrician!”

Christian talks about how awesome he is but Rock wants to talk directly to the people. He actually goes into the crowd, asks some fans who the real People’s Champ is and loads up the catchphrase but Jericho returns to cut him off. Jericho says he isn’t getting speared on Sunday so he asks Rock what it feels like.

Rock calls out some fans for saying he sucks, saying that he gets more pie in a day than they get in a lifetime. Well true probably. The spear hurts, which is all Jericho wanted to know from the pie boy. Christian jumps him from behind but it’s Booker making the save. House is cleaned in a hurry and we get a People’s Elbow from Booker. We’re not done yet though as Rock even busts out a Rockarooni. This was WAY longer than it needed to be, especially with only the Rock vs. Christian stuff being funny.

Post break, Christian and Jericho try to leave but Austin says they’re not going anywhere yet.

Kane vs. Rene Dupree

Kane slugs away in the corner as Lawler recaps recent events between France and the USA with JR running down the French military. Sylvan Grenier distracts Kane and Dupree gets in a kick to the face. That just earns him a side slam but Van Dam kicks Grenier down. Van Dam gets knocked down so Kane goes after Grenier instead, allowing Rene to hit a low blow for the rollup pin. This was pretty bad as Kane looked way off.

Post match here’s a ticked off Austin to tell Van Dam to head to the back. Austin wants to know what’s up with Kane as of late. He’s been watching the last few weeks and Kane is missing everything. Where’s the fire? Does Kane even want this anymore? That’s all it takes to beat him these days?

Austin was waiting on the big chokeslam but now he has to come out here and tick Kane off. He spins Kane around and smacks him in the face before even putting Kane’s hand around his throat. Kane backs away from the chokeslam though, sending Austin into a rant about the old Kane who beat him for the WWF World Title. Austin loads up another chokeslam on himself but Kane lets him go again.

A slap to the face seems to fire Kane up as he grabs Austin by the throat (Austin: “DO IT! DO IT!”) but Kane lets him go for a third time. That’s finally enough for Austin who lays Kane out with a Stunner. This is how one of the CHAMPIONS is treated on the show. I have no idea what they were going for here but unless Kane was in backstage trouble (which would be way out of character for him), this was a really bad idea and a big waste of time.

We get a Matrix style video as Gail Kim is coming. Works for me.

A smiling HHH leaves the referee’s locker room. Post break, HHH tells Evolution that he has a plan that could get him out of the Cell match.

Booker T./Goldust vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

Booker clotheslines Christian to start and gets two off a slam. We take a way too early break and come back with Jericho cranking on Booker’s arms. Christian comes in but let’s talk about Goldust wanting to get breast implants back in the day. Booker flapjacks his way to freedom and it’s off to Goldust to clean house with some right hands and an atomic drop.

Everything breaks down and Christian gets caught in the corner, only to have Jericho save him from Shattered Dreams. A blind tag brings in Booker for a side kick but Christian rolls him up for two despite grabbing the rope. Canadian miscommunication sets up the ax kick though, giving Booker the pin on Christian.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a way to set up Booker vs. Christian at the pay per view and there’s nothing wrong with that. It might not have been a great match or anything but after Austin berating Kane and the way too long Rock segment, I’ll take whatever I can get at this point.

Post match Jericho hits Booker with the Intercontinental Title but Goldberg runs out, only to spear the referee by mistake.

The referees come to see Austin and Bischoff, saying they won’t referee the Cell match because it’s too dangerous. Austin has an idea because he knows someone crazy enough to referee the match. Fans: “FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!”

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/The Hurricane/Kevin Nash

Orton and Shawn (in a hat and shirt for some reason) start things off with Shawn headlocking him down and taking off the extra gear. Hurricane comes in and does Shawn’s pose as the arena is rather full of pyro smoke. A clothesline gives Hurricane two but he gets caught by Orton’s still sweet dropkick. HHH, in purple this week, comes in and beats on Hurricane as the announcers praise Nash.

It’s off to Shawn to start on HHH’s arm but Flair sneaks in a chop block to take over. Orton stays on the leg as things slow down. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t die down, as they’re already eerily silent. The villains take turns on the leg, including Flair’s shinbreaker into the Figure Four. Nash makes the save though and Shawn gets in an enziguri for the real break. It’s off to Orton vs. Nash (which actually doesn’t sound like the worst match in the world) but Kevin gets his hands on HHH a few seconds later. Flair is busted open (From what????) and Nash takes down the strap, only to have Flair save HHH from a Jackknife.

Rating: D. I’m still trying to figure out that ending. Hurricane was obviously just there to take the fall and could have been almost any given midcarder. Losing to the World Champion in a six man tag is hardly career death though and it’s not that big of a deal. What is a big deal though is Nash main eventing the upcoming pay per view, which is somehow losing the non-interest it already had.

To calm the fans down, Nash Jackknifes HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s ONLY passing because Rock/Christian and Shawn/Flair had some outstanding promos. Other than that, this show was nothing short of a mess as HHH vs. Nash continues to burst into flames as it bounces on the rocks beneath the cliff it flew off of last month. Between that and Austin Stunning Kane for whatever reason, I’m trying to figure out why I kept watching this show back in the day. Another terrible show here as their priorities get more and more out of whack every week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 26, 2003
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Last week’s big announcement was what might only be the second worst disaster of a HHH pay per view rematch (Kevin Nash should send Scott Steiner a raw meat basket) this year will be held inside the Cell. Other than that, Steve Austin likes to torture Eric Bischoff and Chris Jericho wanted to murder Goldberg for whatever reason. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s big angle, featuring Ric Flair giving it one last shot against HHH (who of course retained the title). It was a great moment with a good match that had the fans buying into the story. Then HHH just beat him and moved back to fighting Kevin Nash. It almost hurt to type that out.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shawn Michaels, who JR calls the best of all time, to introduce Ric Flair, who JR also calls the best of all time. For eighteen years, Shawn has wanted to say something to Flair: he’s every reason that Shawn wanted to be a wrestler. Flair is the reason that Shawn had to be great and one day he wanted to be what Flair was on a nightly basis. After last week, Shawn knows that Flair always will be the best in the world. However, there’s a part of Shawn that has to know where he stands so he wants to face Flair one time.

Flair is touched and agrees to the match but here’s HHH to cut him off. A few months ago, HHH set out to make Flair into his old self again and that’s exactly what he did. Last week Flair pushed HHH to the limit but now he’s about to bite the hand that feeds him. Flair says he doesn’t want to be the guy who follows HHH around and puts the belt around his waist. That’s too far for HHH, who erupts on Flair, yelling about how he’s an old man whose window of opportunity is closing fast.

This brings out Eric Bischoff to say the match sounds great but it’s not happening in Mobile, Alabama. Instead, we’ll have Shawn vs. Ric at Bad Blood. As for tonight though, they can team up to face HHH in a handicap match. Hands are shaken and JR incorrectly says this is the first time Ric and Shawn have teamed together. He also mistakenly says that HHH and Flair met for the first time last week, rather than the night when HHH was handed the World Title back in September.

Booker T. vs. Test

Stacy Keibler has given up on the idea of Test and Scott Steiner teaming together. You know, because the tag….eh never mind as they weren’t valuable in the first place so them being done doesn’t make things any worse. Booker reverses a whip and gets two off a clothesline. A hard left handed clothesline drops Booker and we hit a chinlock. An ax kick misses so Booker goes with the spinning kick to the face instead.

There’s the Spinarooni and Booker hits a missile dropkick before backdropping Test out to the floor. A baseball slide hits Stacy though (that’s far too common of a trope) thanks to Test pulling her in the way. Back in and the pumphandle slam gets two but here’s Steiner to check on Stacy. The ax kick ends Test without much effort.

Rating: D. What is there to say about something like this? It was mainly about Stacy instead of the match itself, which is probably the better idea. Booker is in the middle of chasing the title so it’s a good idea to see him win here, though Test isn’t exactly getting anywhere by losing like this, especially in a clean fall.

Steve Austin, with a black eye, thinks Booker is starting to come around when HHH comes in. HHH asks about the eye, which Austin says is the result of singing in the shower and slipping on some soap. The sucking up begins with HHH complimenting everything he can think of about Austin, only to be told that the match is still on. And now, HHH says Austin always wanted to be like him. He’ll win anyway, but who will bring him back to reality?

Val Venis vs. Steven Richards

This is an excuse to have Victoria in Steven’s corner and Trish Stratus on commentary. Venis is starting his own adult film company and offers Victoria a contract. Richards jumps him from behind to start and kicks Venis down into an early chinlock. Back up and Val scores with a clothesline, only to get planted with a DDT. Not that it matters as Val hits a spinebuster and the Money Shot for the pin. Actually a pretty nice match while it lasted.

Quick look at some soldiers in the house on Memorial Day.

Kevin Nash laughs off the idea of HHH’s troubles because he’s taking the title inside the Cell.

Christian doesn’t like this town because it’s named after a gas station. Goldust comes up to stutter something like a challenge but Booker comes up and says he’s winning the title soon enough.

Austin and Bischoff both think they should be credited as presenting Bad Blood. After Austin mentions that any active military personnel can get into the show for free (nothing wrong with that), they agree to compete in some way at the pay per view. More bickering ensues until Austin leaves to hear Lillian Garcia sing America the Beautiful.

Lillian starts singing and of course here is La Resistance. The French guys rip on American patriotism until Austin comes out to Stun them both. Austin talks about how awesome the military is and how they provide him the freedom to drink all the beer he wants. He and Lillian finish the song before beer is consumed. I know Vince LOVES the American stuff but sweet goodness do they really need to beat up a new tag team for the sake of a one off segment?

Flair is warming up but a masked man is watching him.

Christian vs. Goldust

Non-title. Christian hammers away in the corner but gets bulldogged for his efforts. A missed crossbody sends Goldust falling out to the floor though and Christian chokes away on the ropes. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Goldust fights up. An elbow to the jaw gets two on the champ but the Curtain Call is countered into a reverse DDT for the same. More right hands in the corner rock Christian but the referee blocks Shattered Dreams. Not that it matters as Goldust scores with a powerslam for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m sure this was completely necessary and helpful towards building up the Intercontinental Title match on Sunday. Booker T. beat Christian in a battle royal but got screwed out of the title. Now Goldust pins the champ clean, but I doubt he’s being added to the title match. Maybe he’ll get a shot next week, but why did this need to take place after the champ already has a challenger?

Teddy Long and Rodney Mack are in the ring for the FIVE MINUTE WHITE BOY CHALLENGE!

Rodney Mack vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba chops away in the corner but gets punched in the face for his efforts. We’re already in the chinlock as JR wishes Freddie Blassie a speedy recovery. Mack clotheslines him down but gets caught in a release German suplex for two. A neckbreaker and the Bubba Bomb get the same but Teddy gets on the apron for a distraction. Cue Christopher Nowinski to knock Bubba cold with the protective mask (which he was carrying, though you would think he could have brought something a bit harder) and Mack grabs the choke for the win.

La Resistance is annoyed at being attacked so Bischoff makes Sylvan Grenier vs. Rob Van Dam in a flag match tonight. If Grenier wins, they get a title shot at the pay per view. They really didn’t have a better way to set this up than Austin beating them up?

We recap Austin interrogating Lance Storm until he found out that Chris Jericho was behind attempting to run Goldberg down.

HHH accuses Flair of changing so Flair goes into a Flair style rant, saying he’s still the man.

Rob Van Dam vs. Sylvan Grenier

Flag match, meaning you have to pull your own flag down to win. A technical sequence sends both of them towards the wrong flag so let’s try that again. Rob kicks him to the floor but instead of going for his flag, he hits the spinning leg to the back. Maybe France is smarter than America. Back in and Rob scores with some shoulders to the back in the corner as I keep noticing the MOBILE, ALABAMA sign that a fan holds up. It’s been there all night and I wonder if that’s really the best he could come up with. There’s no joke or anything as it’s just the name of the town he’s in.

Anyway, Grenier’s attempt to get to the flag is broken up but Rene Dupree gets in a cheap shot to drop Rob. Back up and Rob’s top rope flip dive hits the referee by mistake because, in fact, they’re going to do a Dusty Finish in a FLAG match. Rob gets the flag but isn’t seen, allowing Dupree to knock the flag out of his hands. Kane comes in and clean house but takes a flag pole shot to the face. Dupree gets the flag and Grenier wins.

Rating: D-. This match made my head hurt and felt like a half-Vince Russo idea. La Resistance getting the title shot is fine and having them win in a flag match on Memorial Day is fine but they couldn’t have backed their way into the match any worse. If you have to have them win this way, don’t have Austin beat them up. It’s not like they’re an established team but who needs to build them up when they can just be handed the titles to get them over in a hurry?

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, whose set seems to be growing. This show is the hottest thing in wrestling and next week, Jericho will prove it when the Rock is his guest. That doesn’t get much of a reaction so Jericho talks about trying to run Goldberg over because no one wants him here.

Jericho took him under his wing in WCW but it just gave Goldberg a bigger ego. Then Jericho came here and became a big star with Goldberg being forgotten. A challenge is issued for Bad Blood so here’s Goldberg to talk some trash. That just earns him some pepper spray and a spear from Jericho. It’s a bigger deal than Christian but Goldberg really isn’t hitting his stride around here.

Jericho bailed during the break while Terri babbled on like the annoying interviewer she is.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair

HHH jumps Shawn from behind to start but a clothesline puts the champ down. A middle rope crossbody allows Shawn to hammer away and you can almost see the Flair heel turn (Is it really a turn?) coming from here. The Pedigree is broken up with a backdrop and Sweet Chin Music connects less than two minutes in. The hot tag brings in Flair and he wastes no time in punching Michaels down. We cut to the back where the masked man chairs Nash and it’s a Pedigree to end Michaels.

Rating: D. Well that happened. HHH gets to look brilliant and the Flair turn, which seemed to be rapidly gaining traction, is nothing more than a HHH ploy to gain momentum as we head towards HHH vs. Kevin Nash. This was an angle instead of a match, which is another non-surprise to go with Flair being in league with HHH all along.

The masked man and Nash come in with the former beating the latter down. The mask comes off and it’s Randy Orton helping with the beatdown to end the show. Uhhh….what was the point of the mask if he’s introduced and revealed in less than an hour?

Overall Rating: D-. There’s a reason 2003 is considered such a dark time for the company. The storytelling here was more lazy than anything else, yet it still felt like a bunch of stories that were rushed. In the main event story, we had a heel turn, a masked man introduced and revealed and a match taking place in one night. Throw in stuff like Christian losing clean and Austin beating up La Resistance and this was another bad show in a way too long series of them.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 19, 2003
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Judgment Day and thank goodness for that. Unfortunately we’re on the way towards Bad Blood, which is the first single branded pay per view. In other words, we’re all in very serious trouble. Unfortunately we seem to be headed towards another Kevin Nash vs. HHH disaster. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Steve Austin to open the show. He talks about how great the pay per view was (How drunk was he?) but it’s a shame that Eric Bischoff can’t handle his beer and food. We get a clip of Bischoff vomiting last night because that’s funny you see. As for tonight though, Austin is getting ready for Bad Blood, but first up he wants to find out who tried to run Goldberg over last week. His investigation is ongoing and he will find out tonight. Whoever that is will be facing Goldberg right here tonight, which is quite the smart punishment.

Next up though is HHH, who comes out with Ric Flair but Austin CUTS OFF THE WATER SPIT! Austin doesn’t like HHH making him wait and is trying very hard to maintain his composure. Last night HHH took a beating all over the building and that World Title should belong to Kevin Nash. Tonight though, the title will be on the line right here in this ring. HHH thinks Austin is drunk with power and no matter what Austin wants, HHH is still champion. Therefore, he’s not wrestling tonight.

Austin disagrees, but he’s feeling compassionate. HHH is wrestling tonight but he’ll get to pick his opponent, assuming it’s a former World Champion. That leaves him with options of Kane, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho or Kevin Nash. Austin certainly seems to be leaving out a large handful of names there, including himself (If Austin and Bischoff have equal power and he still wants to wrestle, shouldn’t he be able to either cancel whatever Bischoff is using to keep him out of the ring or come up with a way around it?). HHH has an idea though and picks Flair to challenge him for the title tonight. Austin is mad and Flair is confused.

Dudley Boyz vs. 3 Minute Warning

They slug it out to start with Bubba actually dropkicking Jamal out to the floor. First time for everything I guess. The Samoans take over though with Rosey hitting a spinning legdrop for no cover on D-Von. Jamal gets two off a knee drop and Rosey adds something like a superkick. D-Von’s right hands have almost no effect (they are Samoans after all) but Jamal’s Vader Bomb hits knees.

It’s off to Bubba for right hands and a backdrop for two on Rosey as everything breaks down. A double suplex sets up What’s Up with Rico accidentally distracting the referee. Rosey grabs a Samoan drop on Bubba but isn’t legal for the cover. Rico throws in a table and a D-Von to go with it, only to miss the top rope splash. Rosey gets back in and walks right into 3D for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a very good match with both teams being a bit too similar to really make it work. The Dudleys are a nice addition to the division as it certainly needs the extra (albeit familiar) help. If nothing else the 3D is always worth a look, even if it’s to someone as worthless as Rosey.

Post match Rico yells at the Samoans and walks out on his own.

A very hungover Eric Bischoff is here (after Austin said he wouldn’t be, making Austin an untruth teller) and says he can’t do this redneck stuff. Austin’s solution: drink more. Bischoff does just that and vomits again. This is really, really not my style of humor. The camera follows Austin out and he runs into Kevin Nash. Austin is proud of him for last night and makes him #1 contender of tonight’s title match.

Flair is thrilled with HHH for picking him for tonight and expects a great match. HHH however is expecting him to take a dive so he can have a night off. HHH: “Just lay there and I’ll do the rest.”

Here’s Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel. There’s a new set this week and we get the debut of the JERITRON 5000 to show a few highlights. Tonight though, Jericho wants to talk to the man who betrayed him last night, the new Intercontinental Champion, Christian. Cue the new champ, now with the short haircut that he would have for the rest of his career. Jericho likes the new look but it doesn’t change the fact that Christian betrayed him last night. That brings one thing to his mind: he would have done the exact same thing. Jericho: “Our Christian is all grown up!”

Christian is the new American Idol, which Jericho loves because he’s not even American. We see the end of the match (via the very expensive Jeritron 5000 of course) and Christian runs Booker T. down (Jericho: “His haircut looks like a pineapple.”). Cue Rob Van Dam to interrupt and call Christian’s catchphrase weak.

Maybe he should just try admitting he sucks and you know what that means from the crowd. Van Dam: “THAT TOTALLY WORKS FOR YOU!” Rob wants an Intercontinental Title shot tonight but that’s a big negative. The beatdown is on until Kane makes a fast save. Austin pops up on screen to say let’s have a Tag Team Title match right now. How exactly is that fair to Van Dam and Kane?

Tag Team Titles: Kane/Rob Van Dam vs Christian/Chris Jericho

Van Dam and Kane are defending and we’re joined in progress after a break. Rob’s stepover kick takes Jericho down for an early two. The split legged moonsault to Jericho’s back gets two and Jericho screams for help. Christian, in street clothes, tries to offer that help and gets sent into the corner by Kane for his efforts. The Canadians are sent outside and Rob follows with a running flip dive to keep the champs in control.

Back in and Kane loads up the top rope clothesline but Rob tags himself in before he can go up. That didn’t seem planned and Kane looks a little annoyed. Jericho’s middle rope missile dropkick puts Rob down and it’s Christian choking with a shirt. We’re off to the chinlock for a bit before the reverse DDT into a backbreaker gets two on Rob. Christian’s powerslam gets the same and it’s back to Jericho to try the Walls.

Van Dam saves himself with a small package and some kicks to take the Canadian down, setting up the hot tag to Kane. The house cleaning is on with Kane throwing Christian into Jericho and getting two off a side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline and Van Dam kicks Jericho down as well. Jericho breaks up the Five Star and a low blow sets up the Five Star for an even nearer fall on Kane. Some chairs are brought in and the bell rings, presumably for a DQ.

Rating: C-. Based on what’s about to happen after the match, there’s a chance that the ending was a bit mistimed as you could have penciled in Booker T. running in from the second the match started. Either way the title change didn’t happen so it’s not like who wins via DQ means anything for the most part. The wrestling was fine and the near fall off the Lionsault was good but it wasn’t anything thrilling.

Booker T. comes in to beat up the Canadians, saving Kane in the process.

Lawler thinks Booker tried to run Goldberg over.

Shawn Michaels tells Flair that he can’t lay down tonight because it would ruin his legacy. Flair seems to think he has a chance and is almost in tears (take a shot) at Shawn believing in him.

Here are Rodney Mack and Teddy Long to issue a FIVE MINUTE WHITE BOY CHALLENGE to any established star because they need some better competition.

Rodney Mack vs. Spike Dudley

Spike charges at him and gets kneed in the ribs for his efforts. We hit a chinlock into some choking on the ropes is followed by a belly to belly for two on Spike. Another chinlock is broken up and Spike sends him outside for a good looking dive. He comes up holding his ribs but is still able to grab a rollup for two. The Dudley Dog is broken up and Mack hits a powerslam as we have less than a minute to go. The Black Out (cobra clutch) goes on for a good while and Spike FINALLY taps with one second left. As low level as this match was, the fans were completely into the ending and wanted Spike to survive.

Rating: D. So Mack needs time to beat Spike Dudley? I’m not sure how this is supposed to be interesting and that loose cobra clutch didn’t do much good either. Teddy is the star of this team with his hilarious rambling on commentary and Mack isn’t getting much out of this. Granted beating higher levels of competition would do him some good.

Austin yells at the hung over Bischoff via a bullhorn and bangs on a trashcan (unfortunately without drumming on a street light). He has some female company for Bischoff and, say it with me, it’s Moolah and Mae Young. Eric’s rant is pretty funny.

Flair has the robe on and looks ready to style and profile.

La Resistance vs. Test/Scott Steiner

It’s a brawl to start with Rene getting suplexed out to the floor. Grenier sends Steiner into the steps though and Stacy Keibler goes to check on him for a good while. Test boots him way out of a double teaming but gets shoved into Steiner, setting up a quick rollup to give Dupree the pin.

Test and Steiner argue over Stacy, who leaves alone in a huff.

Austin has set up an interrogation room to find out about Goldberg’s would be assailant.

A fan poll thinks The Rock was the driver. Christian and HHH are the other top suspects.

Austin interrogates Lance Storm and asks him where he was at on June 25, 1989. Storm: “What does that have to do with anything?” Austin: “It ain’t got nothing to do with anything!” Lance doesn’t have much to say and Austin starts laughing. The light goes on Storm’s face and Storm actually admits that he was the driver. It was an accident though as the accelerator stuck and Canadians drive on the other side of the road. Austin knows better but Storm lets it slip that it was someone else’s idea. Instead of finding out who it was, Austin gives Storm Goldberg tonight.

HHH has his ribs taped up as he reads Freddie Blassie’s book. Flair comes in and says he’s ready to be the man again. He had a thousand matches like HHH had last night and he wrestled every single night. No one is making him lay down in Flair Country and he’s coming for the title tonight, WOO! I’m not big on Flair from this era but he was feeling it on that one.

Lance Storm vs. Bill Goldberg

A powerslam and a pumphandle slam set up the spear and Jackhammer to end Storm in just over a minute. Amazingly enough, this is the best reaction Goldberg has gotten since the night of his debut.

Post match Goldberg chokes Storm until he admits Jericho was the guy who put him up to it. Never trust those Canadians.

Jericho is trying to leave but admits he was the mastermind. Next week though, Goldberg will be the guest on the Highlight Reel.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Ric Flair

HHH is defending and has heavily taped ribs. He tells Flair to lay down but Flair just slicks backs his hair as we hit the opening bell. They WOO at each other until Flair pokes him in the eye to take over. HHH tries a suplex but the ribs give out, allowing Flair to send him outside in a heap. Ric can hit the suplex on the floor but walks into a spinebuster back inside.

The champ can’t follow up though and Flair actually hits the top rope shot to the head. JR is selling the heck out of the chance Flair could win here and it’s time to go after the leg. The Figure Four goes on for a good while until HHH makes the rope. The referee gets bumped though and HHH grabs the belt, only to get poked in the eye. A belt shot gives Flair a close two and you can feel the fans gasp. The Pedigree is countered with a backdrop so Flair tries one of his own, only to get countered into the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. They were starting to get going near the end but, alas, HHH needed to go over Flair in Flair Country for the sake of…..I’m guessing his ego or something, even if it took away Flair’s best reaction in at least a year. Throw in the fact that this was designed to help set up HHH vs. Nash II instead of what could have been a great HHH vs. Flair match in an interesting story and this is even sadder.

Post match Nash comes out to chase HHH off but here’s Austin. The rematch at Bad Blood will be Hell in a Cell. Panic ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were good things going on tonight but setting up HHH vs. Nash again sucks the life out of wherever positives the rest of the show could have. Austin as the main boss instead of Bischoff helped a lot, though they need something better to build towards. I know we’re setting up HHH vs. Goldberg down the line but could we please get a few better stop gap challengers?

This could have been solved by having Booker win at Wrestlemania, lose it back at Backlash and then do a rubber match at Judgment Day. Then pick ANYONE but Nash to bridge the gap to Goldberg and Raw is already a lot better. But no, instead it’s a bad match to set up a bad gimmick match with Flair being beaten in his hometown (again) along the way.

The midcard stuff was solid with Booker vs. Christian and Goldberg vs. Jericho looking solid enough. La Resistance vs. Kane/Van Dam (which you know is coming) is fine too, though we really need another upper midcard feud to help balance things out. It’s not a terrible show overall, but the holes are pretty glaring.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 12, 2003
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final Raw before Judgment Day and the big matches are Goldberg vs. Christian inside a cage and Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash. Both of these matches are Steve Austin’s ideas, which makes me think that Austin might want to stick to the being retired thing as he’s not the best match maker in the world. Let’s get to it.

Austin’s picture now appears after Bischoff’s in a funny visual.

Christian is inside the cage to start things off, saying that this match doesn’t need to be taking place. No one wants to see the new People’s Champ get battered and bruised. On top of that, he has an important photo shoot tomorrow and shouldn’t come in all banged up. This brings out Austin to say there’s nothing like the feeling of a good old steel cage. Goldberg isn’t even here yet and the match is still on.

Christian saw Austin in the back earlier and was told he was on first. It was actually a different finger and Austin repeats it here. Christian thinks Austin might be jealous of Christian being friends with the Rock because it was Rock who beat Austin at Wrestlemania. We get Austin’s new “I’m trying very hard not to lose my patience” line which isn’t working for him as a new catchphrase.

Instead, he threatens to take Christian out of the Intercontinental Title battle royal but Rob Van Dam interrupts. Rob is going to be in the battle royal but Christian thinks Rob should fight Goldberg instead. That’s not cool with Austin so Christian asks the fans for a CHRISTIAN RULES chant. Austin: “That silence means you suck.” He’s not cool with his material being ripped off and threatens a Stunner as well.

This brings out Kane to enter as well, though Rob threatens to eliminate him to win the title. Austin likes the tension and thinks the way to cure it is another beer bash. Now it’s Bischoff coming out to interrupt because there won’t be a beer bash tonight. Instead he has some challenges for Van Dam and Kane’s Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Legion of Doom

As a huge Legion of Doom fan, I remember this one rather fondly. Animal kicks Rob into the corner to start but gets monkey flipped for his efforts. Hawk comes in and gets kicked in the face, only to come back with a hard clothesline. Another kick allows the hot tag to Kane as house is cleaned in a hurry. The top rope clothesline drops Hawk and Rolling Thunder connects as well. Animal makes the save and loads up the Doomsday Device but Rob ducks the clothesline. A chokeslam into the Five Star puts Hawk away.

Victoria and Steven Richards threaten to take away Trish’s looks in their hardcore match tonight.

We get the short version of last week’s way too long brawl between HHH and Kevin Nash.

Chris Jericho and HHH insult Philadelphia sports teams and discuss torn quadriceps. HHH says Jericho skyrocketed to the top of the wrestling world because he tore HHH’s quad. I really don’t know how to respond to that. Anyway HHH wants Jericho to injure Nash tonight.

Goldberg arrives in a long black limo. That’s so out of character for him. Someone tries to run him over but only hits the door.

Teddy Long tries to talk Austin into giving Rodney Mack a spot in the battle royal. You need a man of color in there. Austin agrees and gives Booker T. the spot instead.

Rodney Mack vs. Ken Phoenix/Mike Phoenix

This is a DOUBLE White Boy Challenge. Ken is better known as Kenny Dykstra/Doane (17 years old here) and Mike is his real life brother. Mack throws them around to start and plants Mike with an STO. A cobra clutch knocks Ken out but Mack throws him down before the match is stopped. The second cobra clutch on Mike is good for the quick tap.

Bischoff has no comment on the Goldberg incident but runs into Freddie Blassie of all people. Freddie is here to plug his new book and calls Bischoff a rather rude name. Rico comes in to ask if Bischoff has any ideas to fix 3 Minute Warning. Bischoff has an idea and sends Rico off. He tells Blassie to meet him inside for something he has in mind. Blassie: “What are you going to do? Hang yourself?”

Austin comes up to a livid Goldberg and asks what’s up. He knows what it’s like to be hit by a car and asks if Goldberg saw the driver. Goldberg didn’t but he’ll take it out on Christian.

Blassie comes out but Bischoff cuts off the big introduction and sends Mrs. Blassie to the back. Eric plugs the book and asks Blassie how old he is. Freddie says 23 but Bischoff thinks Blassie has about three more minutes. Bischoff wheels him to the ring where Rico and the Samoans are waiting. This brings out Austin to say one of his new big ideas is to unsuspend the Dudleys.

Dudley Boyz vs. 3 Minute Warning

The bell rings which would suggest a match but there’s no referee so that doesn’t seem to mean anything. 3 Minute Warning is quickly dispatched and Freddie says get the tables. One 3D through a table to Rico later and beer is consumed. That feels like them just bailing out on a story that wasn’t working and I’m perfectly fine with that.

Christian vs. Goldberg

Inside a cage and Christian brings a chair for protection. It turns out to be the same chair that Rock used to beat Goldberg down a few weeks back. Christian throws the chair at him which goes as well as you would expect. The beating is on in a hurry as Goldberg slowly starts taking him apart. Some chair shots get Christian out of trouble but he can’t get over the top just yet.

Christian misses a spear of his own and he bounces off the cage so Goldberg can slowly walk around some more. One heck of a cut has blood flowing down Christian’s head and a powerslam makes things even worse for him. The spear and Jackhammer end Christian without too much effort.

Rating: D+. Christian’s cut looked good and Goldberg was more like himself than usual here but it wasn’t even seven minutes long and there was no reason for this to be a cage match. It’s not a bad match or anything but Goldberg is just nothing in WWE at this point and this didn’t make it any better.

Flair sucks up to Austin and reminds him that HHH runs Raw. Austin isn’t convinced so here’s Hurricane to sing Kevin Nash’s praises. Ric yells but Austin tells him to shut up. Let’s have a match right now, starting in the back.

Ric Flair vs. Hurricane

You know Flair isn’t going to wait to sucker punch Hurricane and the fight is on in a hurry. They slug it out for a few seconds before heading into the arena with Hurricane being knocked over the announcers’ table. The fight heads to the ring and Flair’s pants come down because that’s always funny (allegedly). A backdrop and a high crossbody give Hurricane two and there’s a chokeslam for good measure. Hurricane adds a strut and the Shining Wizard for a close two. Flair gets in the chop block though and a Figure Four puts Hurricane away.

Rating: D+. I could have gone without Flair’s pants going down but the match was pretty much exactly what you would expect. I’m not sure what the point is in having Hurricane, in gear, losing clean to Flair in street clothes but they’ve done dumber things as of late. It’s hard to get annoyed at Flair winning though as it’s hardly an important match.

Post match HHH has to come in and make Flair break the hold, followed by a Pedigree to Hurricane.

Scott Steiner/Test/Goldust vs. La Resistance/Christopher Nowinski

Before the match, the French guys rip on America for being war mongers and claim Nowinski is the exception to the rule. The brawl is on in the aisle until it’s Test hammering on Grenier in the corner. Goldust comes in for an atomic drop and a powerslam before handing it off to Steiner. The pushup elbow wakes the crowd up a bit and it’s back to Test, who gets beaten down in short order. Nowinski grabs the armbar for a few seconds before it’s back to Steiner as everything breaks down. Goldust cleans house and it’s the reverse DDT to end Nowinski.

Rating: D. In a word, this story sucks. Test and Steiner aren’t interesting as a team and La Resistance is as simple of an evil foreigner team as you can find. It doesn’t help that you can pretty much guarantee that the French guys are going to be Tag Team Champions soon enough, just for the sake of pushing the anti-Iraq War stuff a little while longer.

We run down the pay per view card. This looks really bad.

Jericho doesn’t think much of Goldberg but on Sunday, he’ll become Intercontinental Champion again. Tonight though, he’ll take care of Kevin Nash.

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Hardcore match in Philadelphia so here’s Tommy Dreamer to cancel out Steven Richards. Trish forearms away to start and goes to the weapons but has to sunset flip her way out of trouble instead. Victoria finds a cookie sheet and they mess up a spot where Trish tries to kick it into her face. That’s fine as they just pop up and do it again, making things look even worse the second time. Victoria is right back with the spinning side slam but Trish Matrixes away from a trashcan lid shot.

The Chick Kick knocks the lid into Victoria’s face but she comes back with a leather strap for whipping and choking. Naturally, JR talks about bondage magazines. Victoria chokes her in the corner but gets taken down by a hurricanrana. The guys get in fight on the floor, leaving Trish to score with a kendo stick shot, followed by Stratusfaction for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as usual, but that’s the case with most of the women from this stretch. We’ve seen them all fight so many times, including these two in the same kind of a match about six months ago. They need some fresh blood in the worst way as we’ve just covered everything that could possibly be done. It also doesn’t help that they were missing a lot of their spots, making this more sloppy than memorable.

Kevin Nash vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho tries to jump him to start but gets swatted away by Nash’s cat-like reflexes. A right hand to the head drops Jericho so Chris starts going after the leg (which HHH totally inspired of course). Jericho charges into an elbow and gets kneed out to the floor as I’m still trying to figure out why I’m supposed to care about Nash. A chop block cuts Nash down as you can’t fault Jericho’s logic.

The leg is wrapped around the post but Nash gets in a side slam as this match is killing the crowd in a hurry. As in there was just no reaction to one of his biggest moves (and it’s not like he has many others to pick from). Jericho is right back with the bulldog and a Lionsault for two. There’s the big boot but HHH and Flair come in for the DQ, though the bell doesn’t actually ring.

Rating: D-. Just for that non-reaction to the side slam alone. The fans are absolutely not caring about Nash but that’s never stopped them from going in a certain direction before. Jericho was trying here and the leg stuff was fine but there’s not much you can do whtn the fans don’t care in the slightest.

Shawn Michaels runs down to help and the good guys clean house with Shawn counting pins to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The Legion of Doom were a nice surprise to start things off and it’s just all downhill from there. I can’t think of a single positive thing about this show and the whole show is just uninteresting and bad. I’m really not sure I can make it that much simpler: it’s not good wrestling and the stories are even worse. Anything interesting would be an upgrade at this point as I just need something to hold onto with these shows. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

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